#Every single shot was like a hit of spice

[the-gom-jabbar]

Dune Part 2: *Throws in multiple shots of Paul waking into the desert alone*

Dune Messiah Fans: *vibrating*

[lych33dragoncookie]

Ok so about yesterday's post, I'm rly rly grateful for all the attention n feedback, I'm glad ppl resonate with my analysis stuff and that they're happy to find someone who understands the characters, buuuuut Since it's my most critical post till now it's garnered a few counterpoints that I kinda wanna address.

The first one, and the one that I understand the most; the people that were telling me to not lose hope and that they could do something more with this.

I... Appreciate the optimism! I really do, and if you believe this then obviously I hold no ill will towards you and if you can keep looking on the bright side then more power to you, but... Really, I think the moment and the chance have already passed, unfortunately.

Yes, I am genuinely saying that, unless they pull a miracle, whatever they do next is just... Not going to land. Definitely not as well as it would have to have a better ending to the story we got.

Here's the main thing, really. For one... What is Burning Spice even gonna do to get one over Golden Cheese again? He's already just about entirely outmatched, and so anything they do next is just gonna feel like a repeat of what they already did in this update. Though more importantly, I'm concerned with the fact that they can't really do this again, we just saw Golden Cheese at her lowest point, actually on the brink of death, more heavily damaged than we've ever seen anyone in this entire franchise, we got extra development for both her and Smoked Cheese, and the Spice Army is kind of just... Not there anymore. No one other than Nutmeg Tiger really has any faith in Burning Spice anymore. The setting, the stakes, the characters, everything that made this story hold up (until its god awful ending) isn't repeatable, not without making it feel like we're just doing the same thing again. They can't match the sheer level of visceral brutality either, not only because again the setting is gone but also because it really won't hit anywhere near as hard the second time around, and even they have limits for how far they're willing to go with it.

That's just kind of the thing. The one thing that makes me so mad about how much this ending sucked. This entire story is one of a kind, you can't do this again, because if you try, then it's not gonna hit anywhere near as hard the second time around. Hell, it'd be the third time we've seen Golden Cheese in a low spot that she ends up pulling through and recovering from, and the second time (with Burning Spice) was so much more extreme than the first one which is part of what made it work, you can't do that again.

The framing isn't replicable. The active contrast between the two primary characters, the brutality and viscerality of it all, the active rejection of Burning Spice's ideals in a golden blaze of glory, the reinforcement of Golden Cheese's will through an adversary completely opposite to her, it can't happen again. This is why you don't fumble a story like this, because once you've shot the round, it's spent. There's no getting it back. If you miss the shot, no matter how potent the weapon, it won't do anything, and there's no getting that shot back. Specially because, like... Are we forgetting that we're not done with Golden Cheese here? Why waste more time on retreading ground that we already covered with her encounter against Burning Spice, when instead it would be much better spent later on focusing on her relationship with White Lily, and how she handles the whole Dark Enchantress situation? Sure, I have no doubt all the beasts are gonna come back, but I really, really don't see them getting entire stories dedicated to each and every single one again, specially involving their respective ancients, because... They've. Already lost. And if you try to set up the same matchups, it's just gonna feel like doing the same thing all over again. If/when they come back, it's most likely gonna be more short-form, akin more to a boss rush, I'd imagine, because the alternative is... What, exactly? Just doing their chapters again? A second time? For each one? It just feels really weird to think about, honestly.

Just... Everything here. Every bit of it. Every bit of narrative paralleling with Golden Cheese, Smoked Cheese, Nutmeg Tiger, Burning Spice and both of the respective kingdoms/armies, it was all contained in this arc, and you can't just do the same thing all over again, specially when the thing you've got set up next for Golden Cheese is a meeting with White Lily. Unless you plan to have Silent Salt and Burning Spice team up for a 2v2 against White Lily and Golden Cheese or... Something..? Completely taking away from the 1v1 fated duel kinda thing they've had going on this entire time..? I dunno, man. I don't see how they could salvage this. They had their chance, and they wasted it. Like sand, slipping through their fingertips.

Alright, that's the big one out of the way. I saw the comments and RBs bring up a few other points, so I'll address those now.

The first one, with someone posing the idea that she did take Burning Spice's Soul Jam, and that's why hers' changed color.

... What?

That's... That's not shown. Ever. Sure, you have an animation of her soul jam going over Spice's and eclipsing it, but... That's. Kind of it? It's never implied at all, and worse yet, it's directly contradicted by the fact Spice still has his Soul Jam. Like. It's right there. You can see it.

You could say maybe it's just a case of reusing assets, that they wouldn't make a whole new asset just for this one cutscene, but, uh... ... They did. It's this one.

It shows up in absolutely no other cutscene, only the one where he's about to get smacked by Golden Cheese. If his soul jam was taken not only would we have seen it (like we did both times it's happened to the Ancients), not only would he have probably noticed because that is very much a material object, but we would have seen it, like we do when both GC and Dark Cacao's soul jams are gone. So, no, he absolutely still has it. Undeniably so. You can't take someone's soul jam power without physically taking it, at least not that we've seen.

Secondly, a few comments/tags saying that it makes sense for Nutmeg Tiger to go back to Burning Spice after his defeat.

... I mean... Yeah, I guess? Technically?

It's... Not out of character. She is obsessive, absolutely to a fault, and she is incredibly stubborn. My main complain isn't that it makes no sense, and more that it's a bit of a wasted opportunity. More specifically, the fact that she went back to him with nothing about either of them having changed at all. It would have been super interesting to see how she'd react to seeing her god rendered powerless, to have him lash out at her despite her loyalty to him, to have Burning Spice's hostility and complete lack of care catch up to him and end up isolating him from absolutely everyone who served under him. To have her conversation with Smoked Cheese to be proven tangibly true, proving that yes, he would just discard her the moment she stops being useful. And, the best part? You get to keep her alive to have her process everything that just happened! Because, guess what, Burning Spice lacks basically all his power now, meaning he can't just kill her on the spot! Hell, if you really, really wanted to have a villain for a followup update, it could be Nutmeg Tiger, disillusioned with her former god's promises, deciding she'd find a way to become the next great destroyer, or something like that. Maybe she'd try to find someone else to serve instead to give her life some sort of purpose? Who knows! There's so many options you could go with, rather than just... Resetting everything back to where we started.

Really, this part of the whole thing is the least of my concerns. She's not the biggest player in this update, but I think she would have benefited heavily from the "Burning Spice gets his Soul Jam taken away" route in terms of potential development. Alas... There's a good chance we'll never get to know what that would have even looked like.

Thirdly and lastly;

The argument that it wouldn't be in character for Golden Cheese to give Burning Spice another chance.

Okay, this is somewhat minor. I need to emphasize; when I gave that hypothetical scenario at the end of the last post, I meant it as like... A long term thing. Not something to happen within the chapter itself. Besides, it's just one of many paths you could go with a jamless Spice.

... I'm still holding my ground on it, though.

See... We've got to remember here: Burning Spice's immortality is the exact thing that got him here. Take that away, and what do you get? A large man with anger issues and no special powers; and absolutely no one to cover for the newfound weaknesses of a mortal, since he's alienated and wronged absolutely everyone loyal to him. Not the Kulfis, or Nutmeg Tiger, or any of the spicelings would be left to help him. He'd be on his own, entirely. Why would Golden Cheese ever even consider helping him in any way, you may ask? After all he did, after all the bloodshed, physical pain induced, and complete lack of remorse for any of his actions?

Simple. For the same reasons she gave Smoked Cheese and White Lily another chance.

The latter specially! At the end of the latest Beast Yeast chapter, Golden Cheese decided she's ready to talk to White Lily. White Lily, who, as far as she and everyone else is aware, is pretty much responsible for her kingdom being reduced to nothing but ash and crumbs. Of course, on an objective level, White Lily is much more understandable, specially since she now exists as a separate person from Dark Enchantress, but... In the end, does it matter? Are the actions themselves any different? No, not really. The level of destruction and decay are still the exact same.

The main difference is, while White Lily would at most be hesitant to accept forgiveness and feel really really bad (like mortifyingly bad) about what Dark Enchantress did, Burning Spice wouldn't be interested in such a thing.

And, honestly? I feel like Golden Cheese would know this. And, at first, she'd have absolutely no interest in actually helping him. To me, she'd occasionally visit to see how he's faring, how this oh-so-powerful god of destruction is doing now that he's just a powerless little commoner, a mortal like all the rest, teasing him, finding entertainment in his position, while he can't do anything about it. She gave him the mercy of life, but that doesn't mean she's not gonna be a little shit about it and have her fun. And he can't do anything about it, either! Truly, eternal torture. Powerless, mocked by your enemy, made to feel small, denied the satisfaction of a proper fight or a warrior's death... Lol, get fucked idiot.

Eventually, it would probably turn into teasing him about how her kingdom is shaping up quite nicely, how happy everyone there is, how it's such a shame that his short-sighted and hostile nature prevented him from ever knowing such comfort and luxury, how instead he's here fighting for his life in the land that he once ruled.

And then idk he almost gets himself killed in the middle of a spice storm or something and she refuses to give him the satisfaction of a quick death so she drags his sorry ass off to safety much to his absolute livid rage and idk you know where this kinda thing goes. Both parties here hate each other. But I feel like sooner or later, it could grow into a very begrudging living agreement where he works for her, day in and day out, to make up for everything he did, and as payment for being given somewhere to stay. A destroyer, helping to rebuild and elevate a civilization he was so intent on destroying, how ironic is that?

And then yuri or something idk. That part is optional I just like the idea.

... Can you tell I'm a Dragon Ball fan? I'm all too used to absurdly evil villains getting another chance and becoming either significantly less dangerous or outright good.

Yes, I'm looking at you, Vegeta. You may not have killed a single earthling, but you did almost directly cause the death of 4. And then over time, through many, many humiliations, and finding yourself a woman who can somehow handle how much of an arrogant cocky bastard you are, with a temper matching or surpassing your own, you settled down and built something infinitely better than what you had when you exerted your power over those under you. Seriously, watch Dragon Ball Z, it's really good. It somehow makes a redemption arc for a guy who's blown up planets feel genuinely believable and engaging.

... Right, Cookie Run.

Yeah, I think it would be perfectly in character for GC to refuse Burning Spice the warrior's death he so desperately wanted (you know finding something that can destroy him), take his soul jam, and after a good while of having fun with watching him flounder about as a mortal, drag his ass over to her kingdom to work for her to compensate for all the shit he's done. And it would be infinitely more interesting than what they actually ended up doing.

And... I think that's it!

I think that covers everything I wanted to say regarding my last post on the update. This is probably the last I'll have to say about it of my own accord, though you can definitely continue the conversation through asks (Always open!). I'm still really mad at how bad they fumbled, but...

Hey, that's what fan-fixing is for, isn't it? This ending may have sucked, but don't let that prevent you from making a better one yourself, through whatever your medium of preference is. Go ham. Because there's a good chance whatever you have in mind is infinitely better than whatever the hell they're planning to do next with Burning Spice.

Go absolutely nuts. I'll be watching on, and potentially participating, if writing motivation ever strikes.

Cya'll.

[sinsandsweetness]

Longing (sex and zombies-chapter 3)

(all chapters here)

pairing- {Rick x fem!reader}

summary- A girl can dream right?

warnings- 18+ content, MDNI, though no actual smut in this chapter, it is still suggestive.

“Hunny, why on earth would you sleep in that thing?” Lori brushed your hair out of your face. She treated you like her kid. It kind of threw you off. Seeing as you daydreamed about her husband and all. Whether she could tell or not it didn’t show. 

But she’d cut your hair. Clean your clothes. Check on you like a mom. And the weirdest part is that you liked it. Made you feel safe. Well, not the same safe that Rick or Daryl made you feel. But one that comforted you in a way only a mom could. 

“Daryl was snoring.” you give her a weak smile and follow her into the house. 

“Go shower sweetie, your hair is all funky. Shane just finished up.”

She motioned upstairs. You could use a shower. She was right. “I’ll go grab my clothes-” 

“Already did,” she handed you the pile she’d picked out. Like you were in third grade again. Mom picking out your outfit. You glanced at Rick who was grabbing a plate of food. 

You mumbled a thank you and headed to the shower. Passing Shane on the way down. 

“Princess sleep ok last night?” he teased and ruffled your bed head some more. You rolled your eyes but continued up the stairs. 

Maggie was criss cross applesauce on her bed when she spoke, “We saw you you know.” She didn’t look up from her toes. 

“Who?” You leaned against her doorway. 

“You and Daryl. In the truck” 

“Not who did you see. Who is ‘we’?” 

“Oh.” She looked up at you. “Me and Glenn.” The slightest blush found her cheeks.

Whatever. Word was bound to get around at some point. It was honestly impressive that you'd kept it on the low for as long as you had. You shrugged. 

“Want yours?” She motioned to the nail polish bin on her bed. 

“After?” You motioned to the shower and she nodded. 

There was still steam from Shane’s shower. It smelled like man, maybe old spice, something delicious. You washed your hair, combed the conditioner through. Letting the water wash away your thoughts of Daryl and the smell of the leather truck seats.

Taking the sweetest smelling body wash you could find, velvet cupcake something or other, you scrubbed every inch of your body. Down to your bare toes. 

You dried off and dressed in the very modest Jeans and t-shirt that Lori had picked out.You skipped the bra, throwing it onto Maggie’s bed instead. Maggie painted your toenails a bubble gum pink. She was sweet to you, treated you like a sister. It clearly came easy to her. 

“Sooo… was he any good?” She asked with a smirk. 

You didn’t want to smile but it happened anyway. 

She smacked your arm lightly. “You dirty little-“

You chuckled, rubbing the spot she’d hit. 

“Maggie! Beth!” Hershel called from the main level. 

“You better tell me more later.” She whispered and shot off the bed heading downstairs. You followed after. Not without a quick spray of perfume from her dresser though. Now that you smelled like a cupcake and marshmallows, maybe Rick would be even more inclined to let his touch linger on your back as he walked by. Or lean down to talk in your ear when you pretended you couldn’t hear him that well. A girl can dream right?

-------------------------

Two pancakes. One egg. Handful of Raspberries. Breakfast was amazing. You couldn’t lie, Carol could cook. Shane dipped his pancake in your syrup earning a playful scowl from yourself. 

“How’s the cushions in that pickup ?” He asked, a flirty grin forming on his face. “They uh,” his gaze glanced at Daryl from across the room, “...nice and comfy?” 

He knew too. Jesus Christ. Not a single secret could be kept on this damn farm. 

“Comfier than your bed...” you mumble under your breath. But he heard. Earned you a kick under the table too.You glared at him but your smile escaped anyway.

“They were fine thanks for asking,” you straightened up and said a little louder, letting Daryl and Lori both hear the answer to the question they’d clearly heard. 

“Slept like a baby.” You made eye contact with Daryl. He grunted and ate another pancake. 

“You gonna help me n’ Rick with that barn?” Shane changed the subject. 

“Mhm” you nod with a mouth full of pancake. 

“Alright we’ll meet you out there in 20?” He got up and patted your shoulder. Shane didn’t need an answer,he knew you'd be there in 10. 

It was hot. The sun was already blaring down on the field. Everyone was outside, gardening, washing clothes. Doing anything to help keep busy. 

Gravel crunched beneath your shoes as you rounded the little barn.

“I thought you were gonna stay inside, and help the Greene’s?” Rick asked as you approached his work bench behind the barn. 

“Shane wanted me here.” 

“Is that right?” His eyebrow raised.

You nod. 

“Okay well you're sanding then” It was clear he was trying not to smile as he shook his head.

You helped the men with the barn. Mostly sanding boards and grabbing tools. Sometimes Shane would make you climb up there with him to hold something in place while he hammered. Lori brought out some sandwiches and water at lunch. You laid on the roof soaking in the heat of the day. Your shirt became shorter and shorter as you lifted it up your stomach. Allowing the sun to warm as much skin as possible. 

You eavesdropped on the conversation below you. Starting out rather innocent until Shane brought up the truck. 

“You know they did it last night right? Good ol’ make up sex,” he bit another piece of his sandwich off. 

“Shh man she can hear you” Rick shushed the man. 

“Nah she can’t. She’s in her own little world up there trust me.”

 A long pause. Rick pretended not to care. But he wasn't doing a great job.

“Did you see them?” He finally asked.

“Nah but Glenn told me he saw Daryl dragging her over there and then, well the damn truck started shaking man” 

“And this is relevant how?” 

“Oh come one, if he could pull her? You could have your way with her too. I’m sure she’d let you,” he paused. 

“…little cocktease like her, roaming around the camp in her short shorts and you’re telling me you haven’t even thought about it?” 

No answer. 

“Not even when she wears them little sundresses?”

“I’m married.” 

“We’ll I ain’t. And goddamnit Ricky I wanna taste that sweet- “

“Shane!” 

Shane laughed and you couldn’t help but smile up at the clouds. Rick didn’t say no. You knew he’d thought about it. Maybe in Atlanta before. Maybe in the closet. Maybe on another run or hike through the woods. Even just around the farm when you’d catch him looking at your chest, glistening from sweat. His gaze dipping lower, going as far as to notice there wasn’t a bra underneath your tank top. 

After lunch, Shane nailed another board into the roof. How long would this take? You were starting to sweat. 

“You gonna tell me about it or make me torture it outta you?” Shane asked looking up at you. Confused, you raise an eyebrow. He licked his lips.

“Daryl? Really?”

You rolled your eyes. 

“Musta been good if you forgave him already,”

"I haven't." But you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I mean how was he? Honestly I thought the kid was a virgin. Beats me.” He hammered another mail. “Did you… did he make you… you know?”

“God Shane!” You smacked his forearm. 

“Aw come on baby girl, I’m just teasin’” His voice lowered, so Rick wouldn’t hear him from the ground. A tiny smile pulled at your lips as you looked up at the man. Your mind wandered to thoughts of him and Rick both taking you in the back of some clothing store, out on a run. Their hands and mouths torturing your body, earning those sounds you couldn’t ever keep in. A fantasy that you’d had the time to perfect in your couple days of sulking in solitude. 

Around the fire that night you laid your head in Shane’s lap, facing Lori and Rick. Both of whom seemed a little annoyed by it. Shanes hand rubbing your scalp and playing with your hair mindlessly as he kept a conversation with Dale about some part he needed for the RV. 

You thought about how you’d probably end up sleeping in the truck again. You were too sore to let Daryl even think about dragging you for another “walk”. 

Lori took Carl to bed. The other women shortly after. It was just you, Rick, Daryl, and Shane. Wonderful. Tension in the air thick as honey, you felt it was your best bet to try and escape. 

“Night” you try to leave the fire pit but Shane grabs your hand bringing you back down next to him. 

“Where do you think you're going?”

“Bed.” you brush him off again. 

“Who’s?” He looked at Daryl briefly. Then to Rick. Then back to you. 

“Ugh,” you couldn’t even help the scoff that left your mouth. What an instigator. 

Leaving the three men to talk amongst themselves, you grabbed Daryl’s spare sleeping bag and his pillow and walked along the driveway down to the truck. Setting up a cozy little nest. It would have to do. 

-------------------------

You woke up early. The birds chirping in the trees couldn’t help but make you smile. You slipped your shoes on and went for a walk around the house. Went to the stables. Quick hello to the horses. Then circled back to Daryl’s tent. You needed some new clothes.

Stepping into the tent, Daryl’s back peaked through his sleeping bag. Eyeing his tattoo and the scars covering his shoulder blade, you grabbed your whole bag, you’d go to the house to change. Let the man sleep. Not that he normally let you. 

Everyone wanted to join the run that day. For the motorhome part. If Hershel wanted your group gone, then you would need a reliable ride. And the RV had been acting up lately according to Dale. So the run was for car parts and batteries. And if you were lucky maybe a vibrator. That’d help keep you out of anyone's tent. 

Reluctantly, you were allowed to join the run. 

“Sweetie you’ve had a tough couple weeks, maybe you should rest here?” Lori suggested. Looking for Sophia, the guys at the bar. And then… well, another run in with random men who’d probably want to hurt you, had they been smart enough to open the closet door. 

“I am over rested at this point” you groan. 

“She’ll be good, little fresh air never killed no one” Shane responded. Rick nodded in agreement. 

“I’ll come too,” Maggie, out of breath, jogged up to the truck, surrounding the little group. “Daddy made me a list so…”

“Alright that’s enough then. Otherwise we’re leaving your father to protect the place all alone.”

You, Daryl, Rick, Shane, Dale, Glenn, and Maggie now. Kind of a big group for a little run. But everyone was getting antsy at the farm. Andrea was only alright with it after being told she could do gun training with the Greene’s that day. 

No luck with the vibrator. Not that you’d expected it. But it woulda been a nice surprise. In fact, the run had been kind of a bust. Dale hadnt found the part he needed, and a hoard of walkers came through the town, blocking you all in the dealership. Forced to wait it out. Thankfully it wasn’t going towards the farm. But you waited for what seemed like hours. Glenn and Maggie had disappeared to the break room. Shane and Dale were caught up in conversation about lord knows what. You couldn’t see them, hidden in one of the display cars. You were sitting right next to Rick on the ground of the dealership, behind the receptionist desk. Everyone hidden from the walls. No walkers could see in. 

“You don’t have to sleep in that thing, ” Rick scratched at a splotch of dirt on your pant leg. “Shane said his tent has room.” Of course he would. He’d offered his tent up even before the farm. And honestly, Shanes tent started to sound like a nice change after being fucked and left in a truck. 

“It’s not so bad.” You lied.

“You really still that mad at Daryl?”

You shrugged. Kinda. Not really. But he had acted like a complete asshole.

Rick's hand started to make its way up and down your thigh, rubbing mindlessly. Pushing a limit even you could see. 

“It’s not the comfiest thing in the world…” you say softly, looking up at the man. 

“I can’t imagine.”

You rolled your eyes. Which earned a quiet laugh from Rick. 

“He didn’t mean those things,” Rick offered. Maybe he hadn’t. Those harsh words when you’d finally gotten back from your run. The one that didn't… go according to plan.

“Doesn’t matter. He was right,” 

He’d yelled at you in front of everyone. Made a big scene. And then spat the most hurtful choice of words he could. You made it back alive, and he didn’t even seem to acknowledge that.

“He was worried about you. We all were. He just… expresses that differently.”

You nodded, looking down at the hand on your leg.

You stayed there for a few minutes. Not talking. Just enjoying the feeling of Rick's touch.

You didn’t realize how close you were to Rick until you felt your foot fall asleep. In an attempt to switch positions, you lost your balance, falling into the man. Both of your eyes wide, staying still and quiet to make sure you hadn’t made too much noise. Moving only when it was safe, into a comfier position. And that was basically laying on top of Rick at that point. His hands on your waist, as he kept glancing down between you, breathing slowly. But your hands were on his chest, and your legs tangled in his. And…well you couldn’t help it. You leaned in and pressed your lips to his. A single soft, gentle peck. Then a deep breath. 

He shook his head. Not now. But even then, he let you stay on top of him, pulled you in closer even. 

Tucking your head under his chin, he rubbed up and down your arms and your back, and though he’d never admit it, you could feel him underneath you. It took everything in you not to move your hips against him. What you didn’t know was that it took everything in him not to move them for you. 

When the hoard let up, you’d all loaded into the vehicle, practically empty handed. 

Every time Rick shifted gears, his hand would brush your knee. Sometimes he’d even keep it there. Shane, on the other side of you, toyed with a small rip in your jeans, furthering the damage to the denim. You squeezed your legs together at one point when both mens hands were on you. Desperately trying to get some sort of relief. That earned a smirk from them both. 

Knowing exactly what they were doing to you. 

(next chapter)

[taintedtort]

Hii I was wondering if I could get a crack fic where it’s Wanderer (blue scara if you still didn’t know) x fem!reader but the reader can eat a lot of spicy food but he can’t bc he pulled a factory reset on himself so he’s rlly shocked when reader eats spicy food bc he can’t even get past normal spice

prompt ✧ spicy!

character ✧ wanderer/scaramouche ??

warnings ✧ gn!reader cus i didn’t know how to make reader fem? , crack, use of scaras real name once (kuni), spicy food

a/n ✧ i’ve been meaning to write for wanderer version of scara but i just haven’t yet, BUT NOW I AM! thank you for this cute request, i love it

scaramouche’s face morphed into confusion when he saw the stand you had suggested the two of you eat at. it was a joint with mostly spicy food, which he did not like, and he assumed you didn’t either.

“it’s all spicy food you know.” he replied, dismissing the idea and looking for somewhere else to eat. but his eyes snapped back to your form when you answered.

“i know, cmon!” you tugged on his hand that was intertwined with yours and led him towards the stand. he was making a sour face as you dragged him along.

“uhm… are you sure?” he asked, clearly trying to get you to change your mind. he refused to tell you he couldn’t handle anything spicy to save his life.

“of course, one of my favorite dishes is served here.” you were smiling, clearly eager and excited to get served the delicious food. scaramouche’s stomach dropped at your statement. you liked spicy food? since when?!

the dread still lingered strong in his stomach once the two of you got seated. he looked over every dish on the menu, but he deemed everything too hot for him. he knew if he ate anything from here he’d sputter and choke, being forced to down his glass of water. he’d never live it down if you found out how much he despises these types of foods.

“what are you gonna order, kuni?” when his eyes met yours, he saw the excitement inside them. he didn’t want to ruin your fun just because of his silly food preferences.

“how about i just pick off your plate? i’m not that hungry.” he shrugged, lazily gesturing his hand at you. of course, he had zero intentions of actually eating anything in this establishment.

your brows furrowed, “are you sure?” he nodded, easily convincing you that he wasn’t eating simply because he wasn’t hungry and not at all because he can’t bare to stomach these types of dishes. when your ordered food finally arrived at the table, he cringed. he could smell the spice from his seat across from you, it made his nose scrunch and eyes slightly water. but those watery eyes soon widened with shock as you easily dug into the borderline toxic food.

he sat and watched you eat without a single reaction or sip of water. how the hell? scaramouche’s eyes were trained on your face, searching for even a slight color difference to show that you weren’t as immune to this dish as you let on. yet… nothing, he saw nothing that indicated that your mouth was burning in discomfort.

once you realized he was just staring at you and not eating, you raised your eyes to look at him. his look of astonishment made you smile. you poked your fork into a piece of the dish before holding it out to him.

“here, have a bite.” your smile was gentle and made butterflies erupt in his stomach. how could he say no? it probably wasn’t that spicy, seeing your lack of reaction. he hesitantly opened his mouth to bite the food off your fork. however, as soon as he felt the bite hit his tongue, his mouth erupted with a burning sensation. on instinct, he opened his mouth and let the piece drop onto a napkin before grabbing his drink. his cheeks were tinted pink and his face was morphed into a pained expression.

you didn’t mean to laugh, really, but he just looked so funny having a coughing fit over a tiny bite. you certainly didn’t expect him to have such a low tolerance to spice, he really should’ve said something! a glare was shot your way as soon as your giggles met his ears.

“so… you don’t like spicy food i assume?” you teased, voice pleasantly amused. he scoffed in response, opting to keep the ice cube he had fished out from his cup pressed to his tongue. archons, he was so embarrassed.

“alright well let me finish this, then we can go get you some food you like.” you reasoned, trying to cheer him up. you got a sigh and a mumbled, “fine,” from him. while you finished off the dish, he watched you, silently wondering how someone could possibly eat that and like it. once you were done, you sent him a smile and a wink.

“let’s go. nothing spicy this time, i promise.”

[sinukiyo]

Hi Kiyo,

So I just wanna say that your fanfiction, Behind the Mask, (Ken Sato x Ami Wakita) was probably the best fanfiction I have ever read. I honestly can read this everyday and today my first day reading and just finished the whole thing just now. The story that you wrote is just purely precious and the spice (NSFW) just hits me so hard also there are some scenes that made me have so many emotions I cannot describe enough. Its joy and its def the best thing I have read this year. So thank you very much. But I have a question though, are you planning to make more Ultraman fanfics because if you are, I am ready (especially the Ken Sato x Ami Wakita one).

I hope you have a good day

Thank you again for writing us a very good fanfiction I love it 😊

From your new fan and fanfic reader

Atom

P.S Do you like Taylor Swift. I am looking for Swifties to befriend with.

Hello!

Thank you for the ask! I’m so glad you’re enjoying the story.

I don’t really have plans to write a full story for Ken and Ami the way I did with Behind the Mask right now. Maybe in the future, but not right now.

I still want to write about them though so one-shot requests are welcome. You can send an ask painting a scenario you’d like to see Ken and Ami in (maybe one you wanted to happen in Behind the Mask that didn’t) and I’ll work around it. (NSFW included)

Thank you once again❤️

Also, I wouldn’t call myself a swiftie because I don’t know enough about Taylor but I do love every single song I’ve heard from her. My boyfriend is a swiftie so most of the recommendations I get come from him. I’m open to new ones though✨

[83tu]

get to know mitsu pt. 1

i hit 20 answers on bsky so

1. fave beverage? non alc is full sugar strawberry / lychee milk or tiger milk tea boba, extra caffeine if she can get it alc is peach sake jelly shots

2. fave flavor? sweet sweet SWEET, she despises sour and bitter and can eat spicy but claims it hurts her mouth

3. fave food? green onion potato chips, oyakodon, shishamo, cherry garcia ice cream. frankly she eats almost everything and has a very strong stomach and can be paid to eat weird things

4. dessert (parfaits) > snacks > breakfast (pastries) > dinner > lunch every meal must also have a corresponding dessert if she can manage it

5. hated flavor / food? bitter and sour are on mitsus no go list, she can't stand it (umeboshi is a rare exception, as are limes) she also won't touch most raw vegetables. she'll throw the plate if her meal has green pepper in it

6. tolerate spicy food? to an extent. probably better than shy, but compared to a lot of others she knows, she comes across as a massive baby about it. it also depends on the spice, like wasabi and ginger dont bother her but chili peppers do

7. fave animal? small, purse sized, conventionally cute ones. rabbits, lap dogs, hamsters and etc? but shes actually Not into cats like at all, they piss her off when she can't get their attention. she'd have a pomeranian and name it 'gucci' or 'princess' 100%

8. what do they wear to bed? teeny ass pjs (always a cropped top and shorts), lingerie or absolutely nothing she varies from this mostly only if she's sick and then she steals shy or wrens clothes

9. what position do they sleep in? on her stomach typically, and her 4'9" ass can 100% manage to take up the majority of a california king despite being teeny tiny because she surrounds herself in every pillow and then kicks them away through the course of the night

10. morning person or night owl? honestly neither? she'll wake up midday and then still conk out at like 2 AM max while shy is still full steam going and then repeat the process again (she's only seen shy sleeping a handful of times which is more than 100% of other people whove never seen it)

12. its a rainy day, what do they do inside? if shys there? bang no shy? online shopping, reality tv and ordering so much doordash because she can't cook a single thing and also she thinks it's funny people would have bring her things in the rain (she tips like $1, idk how shes not blacklisted)

13. fave scent or smell? ooo, this is a good question... probably something sugary, like a fresh baked donut or cookies? also shys cologne which is something very high priced and mellow. also strawberry shampoo.

14. what do they smell like? hmm... this a tough one. something soft and sweet, her fave scents are the same sorts of things she likes to wear (for herself or when she goes out, she won't at home because shys not a fan) she REALLY avoids floral though

15. baths or showers? baths! *slaps the vanity mirror* this bad boy can hold so many bath bombs and fizzers

16. how good are they at cooking? nightmare levels bad despite the desire to also be the picturesque tiktok trophy wife aesthetic online. burns water levels of bad. if u watch a clip of her cooking a beautiful meal on insta just know it was majorly faked and edited and NOT cooked by her

17. fave time of year? why? mitsu loves summer actually because shes a huge fan of shorts and swimming / "sunbathing"* / just laying around in her bikini by the side of the pool (not the beach, beach has too much sand) * she doesnt actually lay in the sun and she wears a fuckton of sunscreen

18. fave holiday? valentines!!! not ONLY is it her birthday but it's also just soooo romantic and one of the holidays shy is willing to go all out on (lowkey cause it's a 2 in 1)

19. prefer to buy or recieve gifts? recieve, I dont think she's bought a single person a gift in years without prompting. she had to be reminded that yes you /should/ bring a gift to your bffs wedding because that is your FRIEND admittedly tho she does "treat" people a lot cause she loves going out

20. how tall are they? how do they feel about it? ~ 4'9" mitsu loves being this short, it makes everyone underestimate her and treat her like shes feeble or weak. she uses that to her advantage constantly. this height also makes her and shys height gap SO tall and thats her kink

[dross-the-fish]

If it’s alright, I’d like to see a drabble of how an argument between Dorian & Basil would go. If they argue. If not, then just an interaction.

TW for physical and emotional abuse. Dorian is not kind to Basil at all

....

The breakfast hall was silent save for the clink of china cups hitting saucers and spoons against bowls. For Basil this silence was a reprieve from the usual insults and tantrums. He only hoped Dorian would not break it today.  Then he saw Dorian put down his spoon, stare thoughtfully and open his mouth. With an inward groan Basil realized his hopes were going to be dashed before he had even made it half way through his second cup of tea.

“Enjoying your breakfast?” Dorian gestured at the bland porridge Basil had chosen while his own plate was laden with decadent fruits and cheeses. He picked up a plump grape and sucked it suggestively before chewing and swallowing it with relish.

Basil tried not to snap at him as he replied, “Yes, it’s fine,” he had found he was unable to stomach the rich foods Dorian loved to indulge in. Whether from stress, age or a combination of the two Basil had found that in recent years exotic cheeses, heavy spices and an abundance of wine increasingly made him sick with indigestion. Dorian had taken this as an opportunity, for every meal, to load the table with all of the things he knew Basil couldn’t eat, displaying an endless feast while providing Basil only a single bowl of porridge or a wedge of dry toast. He knew it was a petty punishment. Dorian blamed Basil for their current state of affairs and Basil didn’t entirely disagree that he was to blame.

He had loved Dorian once, the pure, innocent boy he’d met when they were both young and he’d tried so hard to capture that image in the portrait so that it could live forever. The beauty of the portrait had driven Dorian to become obsessed with his own appearance and to dread the ravages of time. So, he had made a bargain and trapped Basil with him in an endless loop of torment neither of them could escape.

Dorian had remained young and beautiful while Basil had grown old. After he had painted Dorian’s portrait Basil had been unable to reproduce the quality in any of his other works and his career as an artist died. He felt as if he had put his entire soul into Dorian’s portrait and so was unable to part from it and from its subject. So here he sat, an impoverished sixty-year-old man, sharing a table with an eternal twenty-year-old boy and waiting for that boy to cut him down cruelly and break his heart like he did every day.

Dorian’s rosy lips pulled into a cold grin, “It suits you, something bland and pallid, mushy.”

There it was, the shot at his weight. Basil swallowed a spoonful of the porridge that seemed to have turned to ash in his mouth. As he had grown older Basil had lost his own youthful beauty, his stomach had grown soft and there was a pad of fat under his chin that bulged when he bent his head down. His father had been fat in middle age, so had his grandfather, he’d know it would be his fate. A fate Dorian had managed to avoid entirely.

Basil sighed, unwilling to continue this cruel, childish game, “Yes, Dorian, I have grown old. That isn’t the brutal insult you think it is. I’ve no fear of getting older like some people,” he struggled to keep his voice calm, to produce an affect of boredom.

Dorian’s attractive face crumpled in momentary rage and then smoothed, “That’s funny, I seem to remember someone lamenting that youth was fleeting. Didn’t you paint me over and over again because you were terrified my beauty would fade before you could capture it on canvas? Wasn’t that the thing you cherished most? What’s changed Basil?”

Basil fought to contain a smirk, there was nothing Dorian hated more than to be the object of someone’s disinterest and after decades of enduring Dorian’s snipes and insults he couldn’t resist twisting the knife, “I outgrew it. Quite the experience, to grow up. If anything, I enjoy my own youth more for how brief it was. I pity that you will never know it. Surely, you’re starting to get bored of being young forever. Doesn’t it feel a bit like the dullest purgatory to never change? You’ve been partying harder lately, getting drunk more often. Are you running away from something? Maybe when you look at the old man I’ve become you know that I’m going to leave you soon and so will everyone else in time. You’re going to be alone Dorian, those that don’t die will get bored and leave because there’s nothing left of you but beauty anymore. You’re nothing but an empty vase, all the flowers died.”

He knew what was going to happen next, Dorian was a poor loser and he could not stand for Basil to win a round of their game of torment. With a cry he flew across the table and seized Basil by his whitening hair, jerking his head back and moving his face so close that Basil could smell the wine on his breath, and despite himself Basil couldn’t help but feel a sense of intoxication.

“This is your fault! We’re here because of you! Don’t you ever fucking forget it. I stayed young for you! You don’t get to resent me for fulfilling your heart’s desire,” Dorian spat giving Basil’s hair such a hard yank backwards that pain flared in his neck and back.

Tears sprang to Basil’s eyes, his lips quivered but he did not sob, wouldn’t allow himself to, not yet “You never knew my heart’s desire. All you fulfilled was your own vanity. That was never a part of you I loved.”

“And yet here you are, rotting in limbo with me. I wonder Basil, if it hurts to feel yourself crumbling to dust while I live like a god.”

“Not much of a god if tormenting in old man and eating smelly cheeses is the highlight of your morning. Godhood was wasted on you,” despite the steely bitterness in his voice, tears fell in anger and grief.

Dorian did the worst thing he could possibly have done; he kissed them, “Oh Basil, you know I can’t stand to see you cry,” he didn’t soften his voice or his grip on Basil’s hair but each touch of lips on his skin was deceptively tender and echoed the clumsy, innocent caresses of their youth. Little darting butterflies that once carried all that was spring and laughter on painted wings. Unable to resist he shut his eyes and held himself pliant in Dorian’s grip.

When Dorian settled on his lips in a cruel and hungry kiss Basil finally jerked his head away, knowing that he couldn’t give Dorian what he was after. His body no longer responded to such provocations “I can’t,” he sobbed, “You know I can’t!”

Dorian shoved him off the chair and stood above him, an angry, twisted smile on his face, “Useless, impotent old man,” he snarled, snatching the bowl of porridge from the table and throwing it at Basil, the porcelain shattered and the porridge splattered across the floor. The sight of Basil, old, fumbling on the ground and covered in food filled Dorian with revulsion. Is that was happened when people grew old? This undignified flabby, wrinkled thing that used to be his beautiful Basil, groping with gnarled hands to clean a mess someone else made? Dorian felt sickened just looking at him…

…and pained. Something about the sight was causing him a deep twisting pain deep in his heart.

A servant moved to help Basil but Dorian held up a hand to stop her. Hating Basil, hurting over Basil and unable to bear the idea of Basil being pitied.

 “Leave it, and don’t make him anymore. He can eat it off the floor or wait until supper, maybe that will help him remember that he is in my house and I am his master. He should be grateful that I continue to tolerate the sight of him…”

As he turned on his heel Dorian Gray pretended not to hear Basil Hallward sobbing behind him.

[coulsonlives]

Finished all eight episodes and well, that was underwhelming. Here are my main impressions.

Clothing was too clean and looked like it came out of a cosplayer's closet instead of being actual, lived-in clothes (if there's one thing the failed movie did right, it was the clothes)

Zuko was decent

Sokka had an a+ personality but was missing some nuance

The Sokka and Suki meeting was boring and had typical teen romance cliches galore

Appa and Momo were cute

Not sure how I felt about them starting with 100 years ago, and the cut between that time and the present day was jarring, I feel like the title card should've been there instead to break it up. And just the title card, none of that weirdly glowly, oddly-colored narrative with the bending examples and stuff, it looked so odd

If Katara were a spice, she'd be flour, if she were a book, she'd be two books, where the heck was her fire and spunk and generally just. differentiating traits because I didn't see any and it was so boring to watch her

Like honestly! She didn't have her motherly/parental role thing going on, even in a toned-down way, and she was missing her passion, I just. What else is left

Bumi was scary af man

Lots of the compositing was blurry as shit and it was distracting, probably a lot of newbie, abused comp artists with pay cuts given dneg was working on it

Aang revealing himself all mystically with the intense music, then two seconds later the music stops and he slides down on the ice with a thump made me lol, and I don't think that was the intended reaction

They're in the arctic and you can't see anyone's breath, why is that, tell me

Suki removes her makeup in like 2.4 seconds without missing a single bit of it, teach me your ways gurll

Momo is actually cute and not a demon, praise raava

The fire nation armor is pretty brutal, the shoulder pads are like obvious cardboard that isn't even trying to look like metal (I still can't really tell if it's supposed to be metal? That's not a good thing fam)

Way too much exposition and 'telling, not showing', some of the convos dragged on for wayyy too long

The fox thing was unnecessary, but I liked Yue's added motivation to help Aang as well as her people

What the f did they do to Azula, the foundations of her character are totally different from the og show and she barely even feels like a villain. Some of her lines about being inadequate or 'not good enough' felt really contrived too

Lots of strange cuts and camera work, more than a few times there was a person talking and the camera was looking at their waist or something else for no reason lol, and there wasn't an establishing shot when there needed to be, so things were just disorientating a lot of the time

Lots of things happened but the show just. didn't give any time for them to marinate. Sokka telling Aang he abandoned his people, he knew it, blah blah in one of the early episodes? It's poignant but it lasts like five seconds before the scene totally changes, I got major whiplash, fam

The lion roaring sound effect every time someone firebent, please stop I beg

Azula being defiant was interesting and the lightning scene was cool but I still miss Daddy's Pet Azula

Sokka screaming on Appa was funny

My favourite scene was probably the dude going 'but we're the forty-first!' and Iroh telling them, 'and you're all alive because of his sacrifice'. Like dang that hit hard and I loved it. I liked how they added that

Avatar Roku was like ?? um. I know he and Sozin were goofballs but cmon man

The shots with Koh capturing Sokka and Katara were cheesy as shit especially with the sound effects lmao, it looked like horror movie jumpscares from a b-movie

Some of the acting was hammier than a ham sandwich. Even Zhao gave me that impression at times especially with the dang spirit fish scene

Pippinpaddleopsicopolis the third

I know they had to condense a crap ton of episodes, but it really felt like the show was just checking off boxes at times instead of (like I said earlier) letting anything marinate

The opening scene with the earthbending and firebending was cool, it's a shame the rest of the show didn't live up to that

The bending vfx looked good. The choreography did feel a bit disconnected though, and not as martial arty as I would've liked

I felt like I could blatantly see some of the reasons the og creators left the show

Grumps tbh I'd give it like 4/10.

[imagine-hetalia-countries]

random hcs. completely random

(GW2) Everyone who has a charr, their charr is part of the same warband. They're the Star warband, so Francis' charr is Olympe Starburst. Ivan's main- Vaska Starbore- is the legionnaire.

(Supernatural AU) Kiku and Yao can and will pin their s/o down. Yao will groom you. He will lick your hair and use his nose to preen you. Meanwhile Kiku will just coil around you and rest his head on your lap.

(Supernatural AU) Please please please scratch Alfred's back for him. Right there between his wings. He'll love you forever. He can't reach it.

Matt and Allen have a very long-running "Heeey, bear" joke from that one guy on Alone. They also have "Agh- I'm getting stung."

If you're a friend and he's not doing it as a country, Kiku doesn't care if you pay him back for stuff. Just pay it forward. There's very few people he actually holds money over if it was done personally.

Alfred once shot a spider. With a gun. The stairs to that house still have a bullet lodged in them.

Ludwig has his phone's clock app set to tell him what time it is for all his allies. If you don't live with him, your timezone is in there too. He will berate you for texting at 3 am.

Matt never calls anyone unless it's super important. So if Matt calls instead of texts, you better answer. Especially if it's really late in his timezone. If it's like 11-5 for him and he's calling, it's an emergency.

There's this really really old Spanish lullaby that Antonio used to sing for Lovino when he had nightmares. Lovino will sometimes hum it while he's cleaning or cooking. He will never admit that it's from Antonio.

(Monster AU) All the vampires hate drinking from you. Ivan will literally refuse unless he's starving, and even then he will not bite you. You will have to soak a rag and he'll drink it from that.

Sometimes if Alfred is startled, Spanish will just come out of him. Matthew is like this with French. It will just come out when they're startled.

Allen listens to musicals.

Yao will cry if you give him a plushie. Every single time. It doesn't matter if this is the first time or the fiftieth time. He will cry.

Lovino is pretty good at estimating numbers. He doesn't take the time to do the math, but he can get pretty close just estimating.

Allen is still really good at cooking food over a fire. He used to do it a lot more often, and with him being vegan there isn't much incentive to do it anymore, but if you get him to, he can make a mean stew. A whole pot will be gone in less than an hour, it's that good.

Meanwhile, Matt still does. He can and will just roast something over a fire all day. He uses minimal spices, the smoke and the fire do most of the work flavoring the meat. Plus the natural flavor in it.

Ivan and Viktor both naturally run very very hot. They're both incredibly hot blooded, so if they're somewhere that ISN'T covered in snow, they're drenched in sweat dying. If you get Ivan down to like... Arizona in the summer, he is going to need the AC on full blast right in his face.

Kiku loves watching videos of tiny blacksmithing. Bonus if it's straight up ASMR style with no added sound effects for goofiness.

But on the other hand, most other kinds of ASMR squick him out. Eating sounds make him want to hit something.

Matthias plays campfire sounds if he can't sleep. It's a double edged sword though, he gets super sleepy around campfires now.

(Soulbound) One of Yao's incarnates was just a farmer. He never did anything grander with his life. He just farmed rice. And Yao loved him. He still has a recipe he makes sometimes that man taught him. He eventually died from age, Yao got to be with him when he died.

Gilbert has tried to be able to read Kanji but he just can't wrap his head around it. Kiku has tried to teach him but it just won't stick in his brain. He can read romanji just fine.

Feliciano hates sleeping alone so he'll often call Caro and Enzo up into bed with him if he doesn't have someone else.

Flavio likes having soft music playing when he sleeps.

(GW2) Alfred's charr is the second in command of Star warband. In the lore that Alfred definitely just wrote himself, he's the one who named the warband. His charr is answers to any pronouns, though he mostly uses feminine for them. Their name is Liberty Saberstar, they're his elementalist.

(GW2) Ludwig already has a warband name chosen, he just hasn't gotten around to making a charr yet. He's going to have the warband's ranger who's birds are all trained as messengers. Starling. You know, like the bird.

(Supernatural AU) I know I haven't actually posted it yet, but Matt is a werebear he and absolutely SLEEPS in winter. Do not wake him up, he will be grumpy.

Alfred and Kiku have watch parties for anime they're both into. If they don't watch the new episode together they will explode waiting for the other to watch it so they can DISCUSS.

[therecordconnection]

Ranting and Raving: "New Guru" by Vulfpeck

Did you ever hear the one about the eight guys that walked into a sauna all wearing silly red hats? So, these eight guys all walk into a sauna and then they start playing funk music...

That's the closest thing to a punchline that I've got.

If you're unfamiliar with Vulfpeck, let me catch you up to speed real fast. They're a funk outfit founded in 2011 by multi-instrumentalists Jack Stratton and Theo Katzman, keyboardist Woody Goss, and bassist Joe Dart. They had a meteoric rise through their impressive musicianship, humor, and cleverly shot and edited music videos on Youtube, most of which are just captured performances of the band playing their songs in what looks like your grandmother's living room (see: their video for the song "Dean Town".) Over the years, they've added to their roster with guitarist Cory Wong (not to be confused with the Vulfpeck song "Cory Wong") alto sax player Joey Dosik, and sometimes lead singer Antwaun Stanley. In their time, they've released several EPs, six albums, and a live album of their sold out show at Madison Square Garden back in 2019. In short, they've been groovin' for quite a while and their status as funk masters is nothing to scoff at.

On November 25th, 2022, after a roughly two year hiatus and a slew of side projects featuring the various members, the Vulf pack finally reconvened–with the aforementioned silly hats and in a sauna of all places–and began posting videos of them playing songs that would eventually be found on their latest album, Schvitz, which was released on December 30th. They are all worth your time, but one song on the album in particular gripped me the first time I heard it and is still just as wonderful after the three-hundred and eightieth time. That song would be "New Guru."

This song has claimed the top spot for my favorite Vulfpeck song and it's the one I plan to use to introduce people to this group for the rest of time.

Contrary to what you might think, the haze you see in the video (posted above) isn't coming from the sauna. It's actually from the heat coming off the groove of this song. Everything about this just hits. It's groovy, it's funky, it's fun, it's got a bit of disco in there that makes this fun to dance to. It's got all eleven herbs and spices and even some of the ones they don't tell you about. It's tight, it's concise, it's utterly fantastic and every single member of this band once again reminds you why they're some of the best out there right now.

I think it's appropriate that this song came out when it did (December 8th) because that's around the time everybody starts seeing an onslaught of corny social media posts that talk about all the changes and possibilities and good things people are manifesting for with the start of the new year. Most of those end up being complete bunk and I'm aware of that cynical view. We make New Year resolutions we know deep down we're never going to fully commit to keeping and after about a week into January the excitement of the new year dies away and we settle back into the same old dull routine. Once more, from the top.

Then this song came along and rattled my cage. I heard this song for the first time and I threw that cynical view into the garbage bin. It was mostly based on the lyrics for this song, which are some of the best that the band has ever presented. The lyrics fit the overall themes and ideas that you find creeping around at New Years, welcome and embrace the new, throw away and reject the old and broken. "I gotta say no no (no no) / To those old clichés / I gotta say go, go (Go, go) / To this brand new way." For a song on an album that came out two days before the ball dropped, I imagine the ideas presented on the song weren't lost on the band.

But it isn't just the lyrics that are great, it never truly is. To me, a song's message becomes great when it's in the hands of a performer that can really sell it. And Vulfpeck has that with their secret weapon: the stellar vocals and dynamite performance that Antwaun Stanley delivers on this track. Stanley has been the featured vocalist on many of my favorite Vulfpeck songs ("1612" and "Funky Duck" are two good ones that showcase just how good he is) and now I get to add his work on "New Guru" to the top of that list, because I'll tell you right now, he makes this entire song really shine.

This is the closest Vulfpeck will probably ever get to taking you to church. In a strange way, the sauna robes give off the look of makeshift church choir robes and Antwuan's delivery has the feel of an uplifting song you might hear in a church service... if that church presented music that was solely devoted to the funk. To me, the bridge and the third verse is where I get that vibe the most. Here they are in full:

When there's wrinkles in your sleeves You take off your shirt and you steam it When there's dishes piled high in the sink You get out the sponge and you start cleanin' All the menial tasks distract from the fact That there's a hole in your soul like a wall has a crack You put off the repairs, pretend they're not there And you failed to address the mess 'cause you're scared So you look for a source to carry the weight To lighten the load of a soul gone astray To wake you up and get you through the day To cut through the brush, show you the way

These lyrics are a bit silly and would sound dreadfully corny if left in the wrong hands, but thankfully, they're in Antwuan's hands. He presents these words with such authenticity, such genuineness, such love and care and grace that you buy what he's selling. I did the minute I heard it. The use of something silly like putting off household chores juxtaposed with all too real feelings of facing things head on and finding fulfillment in your life just creates pure magic. It's about seeking salvation and hopefully finding it. It also explains why people would get tricked into following false leads and con artists that offer nothing of real value. Everybody wants to be shown the way and find the answer to their plights, regardless of what they might be. If "patience has left you feeling miles away" or you found out you were lied to or you found that "hope is a fugitive that's on the run," Vulfpeck offer one simple answer: "Find you a new guru."

But, if you'd rather have a comparison that has no ties to religion, Antwuan performs this song similar to the way Maurice White from Earth, Wind & Fire delivered messages tinged with spirituality. The lyrics definitely fit the kind of message Maurice would've enjoyed and hyped up, the chorus especially. Hell, the groove on the chorus is pure Earth, Wind & Fire at their funkiest. It's such an infectious earworm (which is fitting, because the track before "New Guru" on Schvitz has a song sung from the point of view of an earworm, brilliantly called "Earworm".) It's a repetitive chorus, but a damn good one nonetheless. You hear it once and you just keep singing along with it (and keep singing it long after you've heard it.) The harmonies between Antwuan, Theo Katzman (who is drumming on this one), Joey Dosik, and the song's co-writer Jacob Jefferies all blend well together and just add to that infectious quality. It fucking hits and it's just such a fun song that's so well done, plain and simple.

One final aspect that I think adds flavoring to this song is Vulfpeck's trademark humor, which is here on full display, both in the video and the song itself. The silly red hats that look like the famous cone hats from DEVO's "Whip It" video were already mentioned, but other little bits include the video choosing odd moments to zoom in on things (like the close ups of Antwuan's face about 50 seconds in, Joey singing background vocals all the way in the back at 1:14, the camera following only Antwuan's hand at 2:29, etc.) and Cory Wong and Joe Dart both sneaking in the famous riff from "Dueling Banjos," of all things, during the third verse (it's at 1:58, Cory himself has a comment on the video that just says "dueling banjos quote made the cut." Ridiculously smooth.) However, the funniest part, arguably the part that keeps me coming back, is near the tail end of the song, when Antwuan asks the band for a key change ("Come on, y'all, take it up for me") only to immediately go back on that ("My bad, bring that down, bring that down.") It's such a little thing, but it puts a smile on my face and it makes me laugh every time I listen to this song. To make it clear, this is both on the album and video. The video adds even more humor by having Antwuan give Theo a thumbs up after the band brings it down, as if they're saying to each other, "We got it back on track now."

What Vulfpeck have done on "New Guru," and Schvitz as a whole, is something special. The band has provided such a fun and feel good song that feels right for this moment in time. Ever since the 2020s started it feels like we've been living with nothing but darkness (and there's been a lot of darkness these last few years...) but the pack are back to remind us that there is still fun to be had. We can still look towards the new with bright eyes and anticipation. We can find new hope and new things get excited about that will keep us going and help us find the answers we seek.

If you were looking for something uplifting to start off 2023, it ain't gettin' much better than this. What "New Guru" provides is a wonderful lesson and a damn fun song to keep us going through continued darkness.

So say no no to those old clichés and say go go to the brand new way. May the new gurus you find in 2023 show you the way and put the light back in your soul. And above all else:

Take care of one another. It's gonna be another crazy year.

[jesterkindreview]

Severed Steel - Review

Don’t Stop Movin’.

When I was first looking at Severed Steel’s store page to get a feel for what kind of game it is, one of the mechanics it made a big deal about in descriptions is the fact that you can destroy the environment to make your own routes through its various levels. This, in my opinion, is a mistake; that element is there, it’s not a lie and it is quite fun, but it’s not the mechanic that I would say underpins and links every other mechanic to bring the game together into a beautiful whole. Of course, this raises the question of what mechanic I would say is important enough to get top billing, and the answer to that is pretty simple. Once you understand what kind of game this is - fast paced parkour shooter - then the central mechanic you need to know about is bullet time.

Severed Steel is far from the only game to have bullet time, but the way it chooses to implement it warrants the top billing that its destructible environment claimed in certain rundowns I saw. You see, using bullet time drains a pretty short timer, that only refills again when you get a kill- the only way you can regain health, too. At first blush, it seems relatively simple; play fast and use bullet time very sparingly, chaining kills to keep yourself alive. However... there’s a catch. This is a parkour shooter, and so there are a few mechanics central to that sort of game. They are, for the most part, variations on wall running, sliding, and dolphin-diving forwards. The catch I mentioned before is that while you are performing any of those actions, bullet time is free - and works even if the meter had previously been drained.

It’s this small-seeming mechanic that really brings the whole game together into a marvellous whole. Rather than being precise and judicious with your movements, you’re allowed to get as sloppy and aggressive as you want; rather than the game being almost incomprehensibly fast-paced, it ends up at almost Superhot levels of slowness... provided that you are always moving. Cover is irrelevant; wallrunning, sliding, and diving all guarantee that enemy attacks won’t hit you and can all be extended immensely with the now-free bullet time, so you don’t have to do anything other than ensure you’re always doing some sweet stunt for your character to be functionally immortal. That’s not to say the game is absurdly easy; there are a few caveats, like not being able to chain a dive into a wallrun and your character being so flimsy that a few bullets will take care of her if you do end up caught out of position and overwhelmed with numbers, or the level design of some areas featuring bottomless pits that you’ll surely perish in if you dive in the wrong direction, that keep the game feeling challenging even as you’re shrugging off bullets in ways that would make even Neo shed a single, tubular tear.

Even the way you interact with weaponry leans into the game’s aggressive vibe; you only get weapons from enemies, and they only have limited ammunition. When they run out... you just chuck them full force at whatever enemy you’re looking at, with enough velocity that they can and often will get a killing blow. If you’re lacking a weapon and there’s nothing on the ground to automatically pick up... dive at an enemy, activate slowmo, and aim a punch at them to nab the sidearm right off their belt, with enough time left in your trajectory that you can twist in midair and blow the guy away with his own stolen pistol. The variety of weapons on offer is relatively minimal- punchy pistols, spray-and-pray SMGs, and slow but monstrously powerful shotguns are the bread and butter that you’ll be swapping between as you play, with a few different variations for each one, but there are a few odd ones out like a grenade launcher stolen from heavily armoured goons requiring more precise shots to take down or flamethrowers from even tougher enemies that can only be damaged from behind to keep things spiced up. There’s even a sniper rifle, though the game didn’t bother with the laughable notion of putting a working scope on it; you’ll not be that far away from your opponent anyway, just dive and jam the barrel right in their face. The beauty of the variety is that you honestly don’t need it: I was perfectly content with any of the weapons you start with in various levels, as all the weapons are precise enough to function at the odd angles and timings you’ll be using them at. It might be tempting to pick favourites; why use anything other than, for instance, a punchy, precise pistol? Well, because the pistol runs out and your enemies are carrying other weapons, so don’t get too attached. Cycle through what’s available and adapt to what’s on hand!

It’s clear to me, all this considered, that the intended power fantasy isn’t that of breakneck speeds and godlike reactions, but rather the kind of gratuitous slow-mo action movie bullshit that many games attempt and many games entirely fumble with. I wouldn’t call Severed Steel a masterpiece in this regard, necessarily, but I’d be immensely dishonest if I implied it wasn’t extremely fun despite that. There’s a narrative running through this game, so to speak, but I would say that it’s largely irrelevant. The campaign is the most fun of the game’s three modes on offer, the other two being variations on level gauntlets with changing modifiers, but it isn’t really because of some compelling story being told- it’s really just that those levels, in that order, with those available tools, is already kind of just the most interesting and compelling version of this game to begin with. Still, if you’re like me and got hooked enough after beating the main campaign that you went to go check those out, you’ll surely find something worthy of spending some time on. If not... well, there’s always New Game Plus, right?

Accompanying these mechanics is a relatively minimalist art style conveying a few different cyberpunk-adjacent levels, and a pretty decent (but honestly not incredible) soundtrack. Neither of these things would be the draw here; the artwork isn’t breathtaking and we’re hardly talking Hotline Miami levels of soundtrack, but they’re both perfectly serviceable and add to the game’s overall charm, so I can’t complain too heavily about it. All in all, I’d recommend this game to anyone who doesn’t mind the almost vertigo-inducing twists and turns of the game’s FPS parkour nature. I had a blast with it, at the very least; amusingly, the game’s window (and thus what it shows up as in Discord’s ‘playing: [game]’ text) calls the game “ThankYouVeryCool”, and that’s pretty much exactly how I feel about it.

Have fun, and don’t stop moving.

[bluestar22x]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Got tagged by @goodwithcheese by proxy [kinda]. ;)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?: I have 35 works on AO3. 28 on fanfiction.net. Some fics are reposts from the latter. I have 31 fanfics on tumblr, 29 of them being Pedro character fics. AO3 is just my back up for these fics (I have to load more on AO3 soon; it's missing some fics).

2. What's your total AO3 word count?: 162,722 - I'm not shocked. Most of that probably comes from like 3 or 4 of my fanfics.

3. What fandoms do you write for?: The Pedro fandom, though I've written for Supernatural (CW), 911 Lone Star, 12 Monkeys (Syfy), and Dominion (Syfy) in the past.

4. Top five fics by kudos

The Outcast with 56

The Journey with 49

A Bad Fall and Colors with 42

Sweet Summer and Visitation Rights with 37

One Night with 36

It's funny what hits on there compared to here on tumblr (Sweet Summer is my #1 fic on here). It's a little different (Joel is popular in every universe though).

I didn't link to AO3 because that's just my secondary fanfic dump. I rarely visit it. I'm on tumblr every day.

5. Do you respond to comments?: Yes, they're usually very simple cause I don't often know what to say to "this was so good!" but I always try to comment on every single one because they made an effort and I have the time to do it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?: Definitely my latest fic Betrayal. I don't write unhappy endings often (I never do), but when I do it's for a writing challenge. Otherwise, there's also Weary that ends bittersweet.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?: This is impossible cause I am such a happily ever after person. The Outcast certainly in the traditional sense (Pero finding love and a home). But there's also The Rockford Files which starts with Tim having a angsty background but puts that to rest at the end (and he also finds love). My Sweet Summer Series and Second Chances Series are also both happy endings. Baby Fever too. For one shots maybe any of my Frankie fanfics. I also really like in canon happy endings so I have fics like The Tree which could fit into TLOU canon (but in my version lots of game 2/season 2 plots never happen).

8. Do you get hate on fics?: Not yet. Guess I'm not popular enough for them to pay attention to me. Quite frankly, I'm insulted I get ignored by the trolls. :P

9. Do you write smut?: Yep. Definitely. It's a requirement for all my romantic fics that are multi-chaptered. I like my smut even though writing them takes forever, especially since I'm still trying to not repeat myself even after so many fics (always trying to change up the words/terms I use, positions, etc.). I do still have fluff fics and angst fics that don't have it, but they're short fics so I don't need the spice to keep my short attention span focused.

10. Craziest crossover: I don't write crossovers

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?: I don't think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?: No. Maybe? I think someone once asked if they could translate one of my SPN fics to Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?: No. I wouldn't want to collab. I don't even like writing with myself sometimes. And I think my style of writing is way too different from others for it to all blend well. Most importantly, I like having full creative control of my fics.

Sometimes I wish I had a ghost writer though. lol

14. All time favorite ship?: Too many. And too many were not together at the end (chose different people/one died). :( Uh...Oh! Melinda/Jim on Ghost Whisperer! That's got to be my favorite couple! Jim is the perfect husband. If any guys need an example for being a great husband...Jim. Jim is a great one.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?: I plan on finishing all my WIPs. Whether I have the time for them all is the question but I don't have one where I'm like: as if that'll happen. I am pretty sure given enough time I'll get to them all.

16. What are your writing strengths?: I always have a hard time finding the answer to this. Having a clear sight of where I want to go? What I want to write, I guess? I'm not bad with convo I guess. I think my smut is pretty well written if not a little on the mechanical side (I need to work on explaining what they're feeling vs. what they're doing.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?: I'd say details. Sure I can explain how something or someone looks but it's like "the mountain was massive" and not all poetic or anything. I try. If I never get there, well, that's why I write fanfics and not books. I'm not going to sweat it.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?: I don't mind sprinkling it in, but I don't know any languages besides English, at least not really. You'd think having French in school and watching Narcos with all that Spanish I'd pick up more than a few words but...nope.

19. First fandom you wrote in?: Supernatural. My first official fic was in 2010 but I had one or two I wrote on a Microsoft word doc before that that never saw the light of day.

20. Favorite fic you've written?: I'd say The Outcast. It was one of those fics that came out of nowhere but sometimes those are the best ones. I loved writing for the characters and writing about nature and the horses, etc. Plus it was fun making winter a stage for new beginnings.

x

Everyone seeing this who is a writer, I tag you. (If you want to talk about your fics, go right ahead!) Also @solanumofthestars and @trulybetty

x

P.S. this is why Jim's amazing:

[lanternburning19]

My prediction for the next Midnights single

Maroon - This song is one of the most streamed songs from Midnights, possibly due to it being situated in between 2 singles on the album track order. There is still potential here for it to be a single. I don't see it as a fan fave and the bridge would have to be made radio-friendly somehow. Taylor has also not made many Easter eggs or references to this song, so I would be pleasantly surprised if this song was a single.

Snow on the Beach - I honestly thought this song was gonna be the first single off Midnights because it is a feature. But as time goes by, I think the likelihood of it being a single has decreased. It's not on the tour setlist and there aren't any Easter eggs for it. I think if this song was a single, the version with more Lana Del Ray would be the one released to radio.

You're On Your Own, Kid - No doubt, this song is a fan favorite. This song is so personal, but Taylor's never strayed away from releasing personal songs as singles (Wildest Dreams, Delicate, The Archer...). This is a shorter song that radio likes. I think this would be an awesome song to wrap up the Midnights era with, and I could see this being a tour music video for the Eras tour, celebrating how far Taylor has come as an artist (if Cruel Summer wasn't already basically confirmed to be the tour music video). I don't know how well this song would chart without major help from Swifties, but I don't completely discount it as a single choice.

Midnight Rain - this is one of my top contenders for a potential single. This song has really shot up to be a favorite. This song has classic Taylor Swift lyrics with a clever production style that would be welcomed to spice up radio. This song is also part of the tour setlist and is a highlight of every night ("'cept when I'm on TV"). This song also has an Easter egg in the Lavender Haze music video. Also, this song really does express the theme of Midnights well. It would be a good choice for the era.

Question...? - This song BUMPS. I think it could do well on radio because it's so catchy. However, there is some controversy over the song, I don't think Taylor wants to draw attention to it.

Vigilante Shit - THIS IS MY JAM. I would be stoked if this was the next single! I've seen Swifties on Tumblr not give this song much attention, so I wouldn't classify it as a fan fave. But the tour performance definitely is a favorite part of the show. It was is on the setlist with a killer performance, and Taylor has referenced this song many times. It was the first song she made a TikTok about in the Midnights era! It also has an upside down phone on Midnights Mayham with Me. Was this a hint for it being a future single? I think the only point I have against this song being a single is that it's very similar to Karma in terms of theme. Will the GP get sick of hearing Taylor sing about revenge?

Labyrinth - Yeah, this songs not gonna be a single.

Sweet Nothing - Neither is this song.

Mastermind - This is my other top contender for a single choice. This song has gotten some hype from the fandom. The lyrics were promoted with the album release. This song is on the permanent tour setlist. And Taylor laid and Easter egg for it on both the album photoshoot and the Lavender Haze music video. A point I have against this song for a single is ~recent events~. Will Taylor still want to promote this song? Still, it would be pretty iconic to have a hit on the radio bragging about how much of a Mastermind she is.

Hits Different - I honestly thought this was gonna be the summer single before Cruel Summer was announced. Taylor did promote this song on TikTok for the Lavender Haze edition of the album. She also put it on the 'Til Dawn edition so more people could listen to it. There was a bunch of buzz with this song this summer as some Swifties theorized it was going to be on the Barbie movie soundtrack. Maybe this song will be put on hold until next summer. Taylor does love to stretch out eras for as long as possible.

No single at all - I feel TS11 coming SOON. I made a post about this earlier, but I wouldn't be taken off guard if Taylor announced TS11 as soon as Eras tour was over. Plus, she still has 3 more TV albums to do and each is going to get more and more fanfare. Maybe the next single will be from 1989 or Reputation. Maybe Taylor doesn't want to do any more singles from Midnights. However, I think she's gonna have a single out for international tour dates - so I think something will happen in between the breaks (September-November and January).

My top predictions for single:

1. Midnight Rain

2. Vigilante Shit

3. Mastermind

[fanfic-obsessed]

Time for the Clones to love Obi Wan

I was thinking…and maybe one of the SW series (Not this Crude Matter by thebitterbeast, it’s fantastic. You should read it) that I am reading is in the middle of the hurt but we haven’t hit the comfort, so I want something to soothe that. Now I shall inflict the results of that upon all of you. Be aware that some of these tropes don’t usually go together but I think if you walk with me you’ll see where it all connects.

We start with a tried and true, the clones are sent back to their younger selves at death. They arrive something like five years before the clone wars are to start and man are they all deeply traumatized.  Using all the collective knowledge they have (Rex was the last standing and he died of old age, living long enough to see Ben Solo’s birth after they fixed the accelerated aging. He was physically 110 when he died and living off of spite) they quickly take control of Kamino, dechip themselves, move the entire operation to an uninhabited world in the outer rim (Look there are a lot of inhabitable worlds and only so many sentients in the galaxy).  They make it abundantly clear they consider Boba their brother (though he did not have his older self’s memories) and that Jango was allowed to come with them as Boba’s father but the rest of the clones consider him both Dar’buir and Dar’manda, as well as just shy of Demagolka. He may have just watched 1 millions young adults, teens, and children wearing his face efficiently take over a planet, kill all but a handful of the trainers, and within days have a new planet to make their home out of. It has reawakened his Mandalorian adoption genes (and several other parts of his personality he would have sworn had been killed by slavery and Spice years ago) and he rather desperately wants to prove that they can call him Buir.

The thing about having come back from years and decades into the future, they know where all the bodies are buried. The former Coruscant guard, particularly, knows where to find proof of all of Sidious's dealings, even five years prior to any of them meeting him. This is a highly trained, highly efficient army.  Within a tenday they have released proof of Palptine’s misdeed onto the Holonet. Before the fallout could fully affect the Sith, Palpatine is shot and killed with three slugs from a slug thrower sniper rifle; the perpetrators are never caught.  The Vod’e are careful never to confirm exactly where Fox, or any of the Coruscant Guard were in the time before or after the assination that it would have taken to get to Coruscant or back (They did not actually do the deed, it was an assassination attempt that Palpatine had easily dodged in the first timeline, he was just a little too distracted by his business being aired in this one). 

The initial plan of the Vod’e was to get settled and eventually approach the Jedi. Their Jedi. They didn’t know how to convince the Jedi to trust them (whether the Jedi remembered or not) but they intended that eventually the Jedi would not go on missions alone any longer. 

That was the Plan

This is where the second trope comes into play. Groups of Senators, desperate for anything to distract from the fact that the Chancellor they backed turned out to be planning Genocide (It could be argued that being Sith was not actually illegal, and every single one of them did). They found a set of Blue laws that, combined with the fact that the Fett Clones (as they were generally being called) were on paper ordered by a Master of the Jedi Order, meant that the Senate could marry (really it was assign as a hostage but it was worded as marry) a member of the Jedi Order to a member of a group they had wronged for the sake of an alliance.

FUN FACT: A Blue Law is a US State law on the books that is no longer enforced, mostly forgotten, and sounds a little ridiculous. I also personally believe that it remains on the books because in order to have it removed, someone has to stand in front of a state legislative body and actually say the law. Two examples come to mind: In Alaska it is illegal to push a moose out of an airplane and in Massachusetts a parent can call the police to have their children arrested for being unruly. 

Now back to the regularly scheduled Madness

Now the Senate does not want to send someone too important to the Fett Clones. In fact if they could choose someone that would be a subtle insult, all the better. They choose a youngish knight, who had only been a knight less than a decade, with a Padawan. They choose a knight that, on paper, is not that impressive. Reports from his younger years indicate he was a decent, if slightly aggressive, initiate. Nearly not chosen.  Mission reports during his padawanship were sparsely written and mentioned him little. Having taken a padawan younger than average, he was temple bound more often than most during their first years of knighthood. 

The Senate chose Obi Wan Kenobi as a spouse. While he was somewhat famous within the order already (for the fight with Maul, his rocky apprenticeship, and taking Anakin on before he was even officially knighted) outside of the Order he was a random Jedi, remembered fondly by those who met him personally but not well known by the galaxy at large. 

Had this happened with any other group, the insult would have landed as intended. However this was the Vod’e. The Vod’e remembered General Obi Wan Kenobi, the Negotiator. And while almost every Vod’e would claim that their Jedi was the best Jedi, the best General, the best Jedi General, and the best sentient in general, everyone could agree that Kenobi was amazing (the 501st would like it understood that they have a…complicated relationship with the memories of their general. On the one hand he led the march on the temple, on the other, even as Vader he tended to treat them better than he did Nat borns. Not well by any measure, plenty of brothers died at Vader’s hands but it did always seem as if he was just a hair less likely to throw a tantrum that would hurt them then he was to do the same to the nat born officers).  To a man every member of the Vod’e is ecstatic that they are sending The Obi Wan Kenobi to them.

When they had been first told that they were being given a Jedi to marry they kind of shrugged at each other, in spite of the efforts of the best efforts of the Jedi and the previous timeline, most of the Voe had no real concept of how Nat borns operate, and even the little bit they did know seemed to be contradictory. They figured they would adjust who of the Vod’e would be the ‘spouse’ based on the Jedi sent (Since everyone knew that Bly would kill the person who wasn’t him who got to marry Aayla), so upon being informed that Obi Wan Kenobi would arriving within a tenday they restructured the government so that Cody could take up duties as Obi wan’s spouse (They envisioned the marriage being Cody mostly following Obi Wan on Jedi missions, so he had to be able to be off planet for long stretches of time) and Cody is practically vibrating with excitement (in between rushes of nauseating anxiety and crippling guilt) at being able to woo his Jedi. 

So we now have three very disparate groups with three very different ideas about what was happening. 

The senate knew next to nothing about the Fett Clones, save that they are clones of Jango Fett so likely would have a grudge against the Jedi (Obi Wan the sacrifice/hostage). They do not know, or (for most of the senate) particularly care what the Clones do with their Jedi Hostage.  Internally it is known that the chosen Spouse cannot be killed within the first six months of the marriage, but makes no other caveat for treatment.

We have the Jedi, who also know next to nothing about the Clones. They actually know little more than the Senate, and anticipate that the Clones might be unhappy about Master Sifo-Dyas actions (the Clones decidedly are not).  They believe that violence will be done on Obi wan’s person, and they do care. But, like in the clone wars before them,  none of the Jedi believe that they are able to do anything about it.  With a heavy heart, they decide to treat this as a suicide mission, in that when Obi Wan leaves he likely will never be heard from again. The entire council vows to take on the tuition of Anakin Skywalker, now fourteen. They are able to make it clear to young Anakin that there is no choice, that not a single one of the Jedi have a choice in this matter. 

The sheer raw emotions that Anakin could feel, exacerbated by the fact that no one, from Yoda on down, had ever realized that the Senate could do this, helped tie him closer to the Jedi. They were not unfeeling, but they still stood, mourning his master before his death. He was still young enough to remember the helplessness not being able to help other slaves and thinks that this feeling is very familiar. 

And we have the clones, who do not know that they have just been gifted a Jedi that the other players expect to be dead with a rotation. They are so…so happy to see Obi Wan.  How each member of the former 212th had been racking their brains for days for every detail of Their general’s likes and dislikes (there are a string of missions to make sure there is a good stock of the best tea they could find). That there had been a day-long tournament on who got the honor of going to the Core to collect their Jedi (Cody cannot because they are still shifting duties so that when his husband took missions again he could go with him). 

When Obi Wan boarded the cruiser that would take him to his new husband, he expected crackling, icy anger. He expected the brittleness in the Force that had always meant hatred to him. Instead he was buffeted by fondness and glee.  By a strange twist of relief. The cruiser was small enough that he was traveling with a total of 10 people. Each of those 10, at some point in the short trip, would stop and the Force around them would become distress. They would stare into the middle distance for several moments, then, upon coming back to themselves, would seek Obi Wan out and ask for a hug.

Even arriving on the still unnamed planet, Obi Wan is greeted by people who are ecstatic for him to be there.  It is unnerving, to expect hostility and receive hugs and joy (Well, Jango does radiate hostility into the Force, but he is well aware he is on thin ice. And he may not know why but his Ad, no he is not allowed to call them that out loud, clearly loves the Jetti). His husband (there was no ceremony, just paperwork signed by the Vod’e and the Republic) stands a respectful distance away and keeps making aborted motions like he also wants to hug him. They have stocked his favorite teas and ask questions about his padawan and various other Jedi and seem almost desperate for the answers. They even give him a comm unit for his room, which he does not have to share with his husband, they say to contact his family in the Core (He never uses it, he can’t possibly trust it). The closest thing to violence that happens is when the Medics tell him if he doesn’t give a reasonable amount of sleep they will sedate him. This is so much better than he thought. 

For the Clones part they can tell he is low key freaking out.  Which in turn is freaking them out.  They go round and round, what if he remembers what they did? But he doesn’t give any indication that he did, that those memories exist. Well, what if he only subconsciously remembers. The last time some of them saw him, they were shooting him off a cliff. Cody, in particular, is full to the brim with Anxiety. He desperately wants to hold Obi Wan, to ground himself in the Jedi’s heartbeat and try to forget a dusty world and the words ‘Blast him’ and all the horror that came after.

Four months pass, as Obi Wan slowly relaxes and accepts that at the very least the clones do not want to hurt him, personally. He can’t quite believe that they have no designs on the Order as a whole and is still fairly awkward around all of them. This is compounded by the fact that they seemed to know his preferences better than he does (leading him to believe that the entirety of the Vode are obsessed with him and obsession turns to darkness so easily). It all comes to a head when Jango picks a fight that reveals that the entire Jedi Order thought that they were being forced to send Obi Wan to die at the hands of the Vode.  That all of Obi Wan’s awkwardness is based on this fear (and the fear that they were going to use anything he said to hurt other Jedi) as well as the fact that he had no choice in the matter, he has no memories of the previous timeline.

There is a very long moment where every Vod’e in the room just stares at Obi Wan, before a collective panic attack the likes of which this universe has never seen spills into the Force.  It goes on for 45 seconds before Fox manages to get everyone into at least some semblance of calm (Both Jango and Obi Wan are watching all of this, wide eyed. They are temporarily on the same page in the land of What the Fuck).   Fox manages to clarify that 1)no the Vod’e do not hold any grudge against the Jedi, they were made for the Jedi and had in fact rebelled to protect the Jedi 2) Obi Wan was in no danger here and they would not keep him here if he wanted to leave, 3) what they (the Vod’e) thought was happening when they were ‘given’ a Jedi (They had thought that this a somewhat normal occurrence of a trope called ‘marriage of convenience’ where the only thing that was going different was that Cody could legally insist on going on missions with Obi Wan) and 4) inquired if this was why they were having a hard time getting in contact with the rest of the Jedi (Yes. Yes it was.). Fox also asked, on behalf of the rest of the clones, exactly which senators voted to send Obi Wan to them (The moment their panic faded, the 212th was going to be on their way to Coruscant and he wanted to have a list of targets ready).

Obi Wan told Fox that he didn’t know who voted for what, but offered to contact the Jedi right then. He did, on the main communications relay with more than half the Vode leadership looking on.  Using his own personal codes saw the call connecting immediately, with several members of the High Council visibly bracing themselves for whoever was on the other end(No one could be sure what condition Obi Wan would be in, if he was even the person using those codes). Obi Wan explains the months long misunderstanding (He had not clarified, as he did not want to rock the boat and remind the Vode of the torture option if they had ever planned to go that way. The Vod’e could tell Obi Wan was freaking out and they were trying to be considerate). There was much rejoicing as it became clear that Obi Wan was being treated well. It is decided that several members of the council (Yoda, Mace Windu, Yaddle, Plo Koon, and Shaak Ti), Anakin Skywalker, Quinlan Vos, and Eerin Bant would come to the still unnamed planet to clear up any further misunderstanding (Also the Vod’e had been building a temple for the Jedi as a surprise and wanted to show it off).

In the meantime, with the revelation that they were not going to hurt his family, Obi Wan fully relaxed around the Vode. It became obvious once he was paying attention (and not splitting his focus by trying to keep himself aloof from people who were so happy he was there) that his husband was trying to Woo him, and also date him. He found himself not opposed (the potential for love was there, but from his perspective he had effectively been sold to Cody and had spent four months half convinced that any information that he gave would be used against the Jedi). He found that he was particularly fond of the way Cody blushed when Obi Wan flirted with intent (as opposed to the absent minded flirting when he wanted a potential enemy to be off balance. Obi Wan had no idea how Cody was able to tell the difference, but he could).  Throughout Vod’e of all ages would seek Obi Wan out and request a hug, though always respectfully (generally the 212th, and mostly after they had nightmares of the previous timeline).

While this turned out more serious than I had actually intended, I just want you to go out and imagine teenage clones, freaked out because they had a nightmare about Utapau seeking a bemused Obi Wan for a hug, because he is alive.

[livelaughlovekageyama]

HI!!! I just NEEDDD a timeskip! Kageyama x model! Reader one shot/headcannons bcs I just KNOWW they’re such a hot couple and plus kageyamas canonically attractive like??? Preferably fem reader bcs I’m fem and if u wanna add some spice then even betterrr 😙 tyyy so looking forward to it xx

hey hey hey!!

i absolutely LOVE this idea and i hope u like it!!

timeskip kageyama x fem model reader

~~~

-So you guys probably met at a party or something right

-Like kageyama would be dragged there by the japan team

-And youd just be there on ur own

-And once ur there kageyama would see u and just OMG

-Like ur??? So??? Pretty??? Is that even allowed???

-And he probably wouldnt even know ur a model tbh😭…like if ur outside of the vball world he has NO IDEA you exist

-And he also had no idea he was staring at u for like five minutes

-And you being a confident hottie decided to approach him first

-Despite his non stop blushing and stuttering, u guys hit it off!!

-And before he left he somehow managed to get ur number

-Once he got back to the team they asked who he was with

-Still being oblivious to ur fame, he would just respond “oh, i met this girl named y/n l/n and we were kinda hanging out”

-AND THE TEAM WOULD BE SHOOK

“y/n l/n???? You mean the model????🤨”

-KAGEYAMA WOULD JUST STARE AT THEM CONFUSED LMAO

-But once someone looks u up online BRO IS FLABBERGASTED💀

-LIKE WHAT???

-HE WAS TALKING TO A MODEL THIS WHOLE TIME AND HAD NO IDEA???

-WAS HE SURPRISED THAT U WERE A MODEL?? ABSOLUTELY NOT, UR GORGEOUS…BUT AT THE SAME TIME HOLY SHIT

-YOURE A MODEL.

-So once he got home he would be stalking ur socials and completely fanboying over u

-AND UD PROBABLY CALL HIM OR SOMETHING AND HED BE SCARED HE GOT CAUGHT LMFAO

-But you just wanted to make sure u had the right number and tell him you had a nice time

-And during that call hed manage to ask you on a date, and you agreed!

-And thats kinda where it all started

-You probably figured out abt his volleyball career on ur own after you first met, so at ur first date u guys would talk abt both of your fame and such

-And let me just say, KAGEYAMA IS SO SUPPORTIVE OF U😩👏

-Like everytime u go to a new shoot or something and wanna show him the photos he gets all blushy and just kinda mumbles “youre so pretty, y/n” AND JUST UGHH

-He is also so soft with you as a bf❤️

-Like give him cuddles once and he will NEVER wanna leave ur arms😩💕

-And he would always look at ur work and anything ure in and just be so damn proud

-AND YOU ARE ALWAYS SUPPORTIVE OF HIM TOO OFC

-Like u go to ALL of his games, and he is always so happy to see u there

-But lets say u guys havent told the public abt ur relationship

-FANS WOULD START TO SEE U THERE AND MAKE THEORIES

  “Omg did you see that y/n l/n has been at every japan game this year??”

  “You mean the model??”

  “Yeah! I saw her too! I bet shes dating one of the players”

   “I wouldnt be surprised, any of them would compliment her SO WELL..like a 

    hot athlete plus a hot model?? Its perfect”

-You guys would just ignore the comments tbh

-Like u liked the secret relationship

-But then SOMEONE had to go mess that up🤨

-And that someone would probably be hinata😭

-HE WOULD JUST POST A PICTURE OF U GUYS KISSING AFTER A BIG GAME OR SOMETHING AND CAPTION IT “always gotta be the third wheel with these two smh🙄”

-AND LIKE ATSUMU AND BOKUTO WOULD COMMENT “FRRR, like get a room ong👆” “istg, theyre making me feel more single every day😪”

-AND FANS WOULD ABSOLUTELY FREAK OUT

-YOU AND KAGS WOULD SEE ALL THE COMMOTION AND JUST LET IT BE PUBLIC ATP

-(hinata would still be getting his ass kicked by kags tho🪦)

-BUT FANS WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE U GUYS

-Like constant ship edits, ship names, ALL OF IT

-You guys would be absolutely iconic

-Certain modeling companies would probably have u guys do couple shoots too

-AND LET ME JUST SAY THAT MODELING KAGEYAMA…<333

-U GUYS ARE SO HOT

-But now that u guys have open relationships you guys could actually show affection

-And even though kags is usually shy with that he would not hesitate to hype u up still

-Hed repost ALL ur work, and hed comment things like “❤️” "😊👏" “So pretty baby” AND HES SO AWKWARD BUT ITS SO CUTE

-And you would post his volleyball highlights and just AHHH

-But ofc internet fame has its downsides

-And usually it wouldnt get to u guys, but sometimes you two can get a teeny bit self conscious from it:((

-Like if kags sees a comment saying that you could do better than him he would honestly start to worry that u felt that way too:((

-Please tell him that hes perfect and u love him and give him all the cuddles and kisses in the world❤️❤️❤️

-He is probably still scared that he will be left behind (like in middle school) so for you to hold him and promise him that you wont leave him no matter what will calm him down sm

-And if people do the same for YOU kageyama would actually be in shock

-Like you are the most perfect thing to him

-And if he sees any type of hate getting u down he will not hesitate to wrap his arms around u and try to just squeeze all ur sadness away😩❤️

-Hed kiss ur head and just whisper “please dont listen to what they say, i love you so much and i would never even think about leaving you for someone else”❤️❤️❤️

-AND HE MEANS IT

-HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH

-AND IS SO PROUD OF YOU AND IS STILL ASTONISHED OF HOW HE EVEN PULLED YOU

-But you guys would try your best to ignore all the negatives in your world and just focus on being happy:))

10/10, power duo + super cute and supportive couple👏❤️

[shotorozu]

what their wallpaper would look like while dating you

— *♡∞:｡.｡ 2k followers special —

character(s) : multiple (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk’s not specified

headcanon type : fluff (x reader)

note(s) : okay so,, school has made me a little busy today so i kind of just whipped this up for no reason. this isn’t really lengthy but i hope you guys liked it :))

theres no proof read, again :,) but thats bc i was rushing on this one lol (will edit later)

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midoriya izuku

i’m going to be honest, his wallpaper is going to change every single time you guys go out to eat. he takes so many pictures of you— it literally eats up his storage.

it came to the point that he made a collage of all of the candid pictures he took of you, and saved it as his wallpaper. that way, he wouldn’t have to change his wallpaper every 3 days

but he can’t help it! you’re just so,, attractive ❤️👄❤️ eventually, his mom will comment on how his wallpaper changes every single week— and that’s how he decided that “wait.. collaging exists!” and his life became 10x easier. but he still won’t delete the pictures so 🗿

bakugou katsuki

he has plenty of pictures of you that are nice, but he just won’t set it to any of those— you’ll never catch him setting his wallpaper as a good picture of you. but, katsuki will set it to a picture of you choking on spices, because he’s kind of a bitch lmao sorry

but he oddly likes that picture?? no matter how many pictures he’ll take of you, you’ll always find his wallpaper to be set to that picture, you can’t even do anything about it. you always stare at him like 🤨 when you catch him admiring the photo— “ITS NOT EVEN A GOOD PICTURE”

but GOD FORBID his parents actually coming across his wallpaper, he’ll get scolded by his mom because “Y/N WOULDNT APPRECIATE THAT, KATSUKI” and he’s just like 🧍 “it’s been that way for 7 months, old hag”

todoroki shouto

surprise! it’s a normal picture. it’s really just a picture of you and him at lunch, specifically your first date with him. and you looked SO good in that outfit. so, how could he not take 50 pictures of you in that one specific outfit? he must print them, and frame them properly

his head will peak on the phone’s corner, because, while he still wants to be in the picture, you’re the main focus SOOO,, yeah. he has other pictures, sure— but that one hits so differently

his mom and sister will end up coming across his wallpaper, when he was showing pictures of his class. they’ll basically fawn over every single detail of the picture. what more— when shouto outwardly says “yes. my s/o is so beautiful. how could i not have this picture as my wallpaper?” its cute

bonus : his wallpaper is sometimes a picture of you using your quirk. he loves how focused you look in that picture

kirishima eijirou

most likely, a picture of you resting your face against his arm. it’s such a confidence booster just seeing the picture— how could he not set it as his wallpaper? it makes him feel so manly

i think he has a separate album for that picture. an album with only one picture— yeah, definitely plausible for eijirou. it’s just such a good picture, how could he not have it’s own dedicated section? the picture never gets old to him.

he’ll also be that person that’ll have a really detailed background on why the picture happened. why, you may ask? it all started because of kaminari randomly asking him about it one day— and that was when he couldn’t stop talking he just loves flexing you, it makes him feel manly

kaminari denki

a picture of you sleeping— most likely a really ugly one, (to you, anyway) it’ll still be a nice picture to him, deadass <3

it’s a picture of you with your mouth half open, drool this 🤏 close from escaping your mouth. and your eyes are barely open— but enough to see the whites of your eyes. it was so funny to him that he just had to snap a picture.

regardless— it makes him feel better when he most especially feels insecure about himself, y’know, because everyone has those days. but don’t worry, you’re still absolutely beautiful to denki.

shinsou hitoshi

it’s a picture he snapped of you when he managed to get you in a position where you’re hanging upside down, wrapped in his capture tape. it’s quite a rare photo to anyone else that wasn’t him.

it’s his wallpaper because one, your expression is PRICELESS, and two— there was just so much to talk about, regarding the photo’s backstory. it’s also because of how cute your expression was, he could talk about it for days.

he’ll shamelessly set the picture as his lockscreen, and his homescreen. at some point, i think aizawa saw it too— but he thought nothing of it because ���shinsou’s being shinsou again. i should let him.” everytime shinsou looks at his wallpaper, he can only chuckle— admiring it’s details (you can only glare at him💀)

iida tenya

i have included iida on this one, because i thought of it while i was brushing my teeth. LMAO SORRY, but his wallpaper would probably be your provisional license picture— or even a polaroid picture of the both of you

you stare at him, completely baffled “out of all of the pictures, tenya.” and he protests— explaining on how and why his wallpaper is just your provisional license’s picture, i don’t know! he was really shy when it came to taking pictures of you, so he resorted to using your license picture and it’s also a really professional picture of you so.. bonus!

but, if you do protest— he’ll set his wallpaper as a really blurry shot of you from afar🗿 due to the fact that he was literally running towards you when the picture was being taken. i also headcanon that iida isn’t really the best photographer, at least when it comes to phones.

monoma neito

its a picture of you crying while watching a sad movie 🗿 it’s not even full on ugly crying YET, but he does find it hilarious (but it’s also really pretty)

monoma forever holds it up your head, that “oh poor Y/N can’t hold in their tears for a movie” and he was going to use it for teasing purposes, but the more he observed the picture, the more he realized how good the picture is— like holy heck, it looks like an editorial shot from a magazine, and only YOU could do that.

class 1-b can only silently judge him 💀

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