#Ever since I had my stroke in 2019; merely existing feels SO much fucking harder | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sigmarette · 10 months ago

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I hate how I can be happy for days on end, and think I'm doing better only to discover I'm actually just having a manic episode and that my happiness was not only a lie- but fleeting... is the most devastating thing I've ever been forced to experience. The moment I sit down and breathe is when I realize that i haven't been happy at all- but instead hyper-productive at the detriment to my own health, and then the depression hits. ...and in proper Groundhog Day fashion, the cycle repeats. Over and over and over and over and over- until the day of my eventual release from my flesh prison. I wish I could go to sleep for seven years straight.

#Ever since I had my stroke in 2019; merely existing feels SO much fucking harder #I had been diagnosed w/ Bipolar T2 before the stroke- but i feel like the brain injury exacerbated my emotional dysregulation #before anyone worries- i am not in crisis #I have a very solid support network regarding my safety #i are am is just ventin'#thank u for ur time #Its so stupid how in my normal life I'm happy and bubbly and giggly but behind my big green eyes im always so so sad #no thoughts only bad feels #ventpost #bipolar disorder #actually mentally ill #siggy speaketh #rb disabled on this one

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