#Even a broken calendar is right twice a year or however that saying goes

[dont-hug-me-aesthetics]

Happy It’s-Been-The-Same-Day-For-The-Past-12-Years Day to all those who celebrate!

[lilithsterrarium]

After that little warm up i finally feel like i can write again lmao. Time to follow up on that concept i said i would after um. 5 days? So sorry. Anyway, heres the story i promised about a cruel owner using a 1 year probationary period to break a rebellious <

Emily hadnt deserved to be shrunk. She never figured out how it happenned, whether it was the random event that sometimes struck (it was rare these days but it happenned), or someone slipped her a pill as a prank. However it happened, she had been shrunk, and her life had been hell ever since. She knew she deserved better.

At first she hoped to get it reversed, but quickly found she needed an owner to approve it. In the words of the receptionist, "Fuck off, incon. Choices are for real people."

Her next idea turned out to be her biggest mistake. Emily got involved with MRAU- Micro Rights Activists United. Finally, she started to have hope! In the organization meetings, finally people who saw sense! Who didnt think micros should be treated this way! Things were good for a glorious week, and she almost forgot that the world no longer saw her as a person. She decided to attend a rally.

Everything went wrong day of. Within ten minutes of the rally starting, the normal sized attendees had been intimidated into fleeing and every micro in attendance was in a cage, heading to their new home.

Within a week of being captured, Emily considered killing herself a dozen times, and attempted it twice. Her new owner had a whole collection of dozens of incon sluts, each thoroughly broken, docile, and obedient. And he had ordered all of them to help break her. But to one, his favorite, and Emily's new mortal enemy, he gave a special order. "Lilith, make sure the new toy stays alive. I want her broken, not useless." And so even death held no respite for her.

After months of unending torture, she got a ray of hope. Her owner (she still refused to call him master, no matter what he did) told her he had gotten bored. "A toy that i cant properly play with is no fun. So we are taking you to the Human-Micro Relations Office. You are getting your personhood back. Congratulations."

She didnt believe it until she was back in her own body, standing tall once again. It felt so good. But the receptionist interrupted her reverie with a question, directed at the man she so despised: "And where would you like the mark, sir?"

"What?" Emily interjected?

The receptionist shot her a familiar look of disgust. "Incons stay on probation for a year before they het their rights as a real human back. They get the mark of a lesser to identify them, which fades after the year passes".

"I dont really care, put it on her tit i guess," the man says callously.

And just like that, she had her freedom.

1 month. She can't stop looking over her shoulder. She fears if he sees her he will revoke her personhood again.

2 months. She moves across the country. A change of scenery. Away from the memories.

3 months. She has a job at a small coffee shop. She had to beg the manager to hire a probationary incon, and he calls her into the back closet to perform "favors" for him or get fired. But it pays the rent for a studio apartment, barely.

5 months. She tries to date a guy who is a regular at the coffee shop. 3 dates in, she goes back to his place. As soon as he sees the tattoo, he kicks her out without ceremony. "Cant believe ive been dating a bug" he mutters as he slams the door behind her.

8 months. No more dating, but she has friends, goes to parties, finally is enjoying life again. Only 4 months left and she can report her perv manager and take his job, everyone at the store knows shes the best worker there.

11 months, 28 days. 2 days left, the mark is barely visible. She stopped counting down the days a few months ago, but she has day 365 marked on her calendar.

11 months, 29 days. A knock on the door late at night. Groggily, she staggers to the door. Another knock, more insistent. "Im coming, just a minute!"

A third knock, and a shout:

"H.M.R.O. Collections! Your owner has decided not to allow you personhood, and you will be taken to the nearest facility to be re-shrunk!" She freezes, paralyzed with fear. A few more hours abd she would have been safe. "You have twenty seconds before we are authourized to break in!"

She stands there, sobbing, as four men in tactical gear break through her door, and rush her. One tackles her, another presses a rag to her face. The chloroform knocks her out in seconds. By the time she wakes up, she is back in the cage. Half the micros that were here last time are gone, replaced with unfamiliar faces. She doesnt even want to know what happened to them.

Her 2nd worst tormentor lilith, sees her wake up, and brightly exclaims "Welcome back! I knew you would rejoin us at your proper place eventually. Master never actually lets a toy leave alive, after all."

The aforementioned master soon comes into the room. "Welcome back, toy. Did you honestly believe I would let you become a person again? God, you areally are a brainless incon if you fell for that. How did it feel to be that close to freedom? Its the last time you will ever feel it again."

As ger hope dissolves, she realized it was all an illusion. Her job. Her friends. Her home. Her life. They had all been a sham, to show her how little control she had. She sobbed as she finally broke, "im s-sorry, m-m-master. Ill never think of disobeying again"

HHHGGGHGHHGBVDHZHS OH MY GOD THIS ONE IS REALLY GOOD MMVJDHCHXD THANK YOU

DBBDSBXHD IM. GENUINELLY REELING THANK YOU SO SO MUCH

Its such a shame other incons don't know their place... sure, some of them STARTED off as real people, but the moment they lost their size, they lost any semblence of being even close to human whatsoever- admittedly, its a little annoying, especially being kept awake by the little sobs and begging to be "let go". I've tried everything, cuddling up with newcomers, singing them lullabys, INSISTING that they get some sleep for the next day, but they never listen... such a shame, really...

Emily was especially bad. She always glared at me, and I had to admit- the girl carried herself with the same pride and stature of a real person! Even tried taking her own life, not once, but twice- and actively tried to fight me when I tried to stop her... its so hard to gaze upon my master when one eye is swollen and discolored because another incon slugged me in the face...

I don't blame her, but part of me was glad when she got taken away for her "escape". I've seen countless girls do it, of course, and they all come back sobbing and begging for forgiveness- its awfully cruel, but fair... admittedly, I've tried to probe the returns for details, but usually just so I can get off to how badly they were treated later. The only reason I would ever want to leave my cage is just to hear more people remind me that I'm a worthless, stupid, silly incon... oh well, at least master does that plenty <3

I really wanted to be nice to her, but Emily was just too fixated on being a person... on the bright side, she's learned her place these days! Some incons just take longer than others... and I'm here to help until they recognize their new ranking in the world 🥰

(Oh my GOSH hun this is so so so SO fucking good... the use of all the different organizations, the treatment of strangers, from the receptionist to the boss to the boyfriend- all of this is so, SO perfect... I need it so, SO FUCKING BADLY SHHASHHXDHFHS GOSH <3)

[ohmypreciousgirl]

Xicheng AU Rec List

This time I compiled my favorite AU fics for @waterandsilver! Hope everyone will enjoy this list too ♥

Just Two Lost Souls 46,978

Even if it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife, husband, or companion, all Jiang Cheng really wants is to run his company, take care of his pets, and maybe get some sleep. Unfortunately the new job promotion to CEO comes with a loaded social calendar and a need for some sort of companion.

So clearly the most sensible answer is to start dating the man he's had a crush on since he was a teenager.

Because nothing could go wrong there. Sequels: Hold Me Like You Want Me; I Am Yours, If You Are Mine; Jiang Cheng and the Lans; You Get a Torch and a Flame and Burn The Path You Want.

i don't really care how much silence kills me 15,611 [Part 1 of all the lights couldn't put out the dark] It’s been around 2 years since Jiang Cheng has last seen to his brother, and a little over a year since the last time he spoke to him, when they locked eyes at Nie Huaisang’s art exhibition. Jiang Cheng had only come because Huaisang had explicitly promised him he wouldn’t be here. He knows Wuxian and Wangji have just moved back into the area after traveling, and he has every intention of avoiding them at all costs, just like he avoids his college-era crush Lan Xichen. 

But it would seem that the universe has other ideas.

charcoal on newsprint 2,151 [Part 1 of fine art] Xichen distantly realizes that there is no way Huaisang had actually told Jiang Cheng that this is a nude modeling session. He can already hear Jiang Cheng’s clear baritone, dripping with sarcasm, telling the entire dinner table “So, Zewu Jun wanted me naked in front of all his students.” at the next Lan-Jiang family dinner.Uncle is going to have his head. 

Madam Yu is going to skewer him alive before that. Or, Jiang Cheng models for life drawing in his spare time.

Family 2,514 [Part 1 of The Lan-Jiang Family] Jiang Cheng stops dead in the doorway as he takes in the horrendous state the apartment is in; toys and clothes everywhere, new furniture, child-furniture, all over the place, and no matter where Jiang Cheng’s gaze drops, it’s been taking over by stuff that belongs to a child.

A child that is still screaming, almost drowning out Lan Xichen’s attempts to calm it down.

“What the actual fuck is happening here?” Jiang Cheng blurts out and while it does nothing to stop the child from screaming, Lan Xichen freezes.

Worthy of a god 1,859 [Part 1 of The most faithful] Jiang Cheng knows that there is a chance Chifeng-zun will choose him; he is the god of war and rage and ever since Jiang Cheng was old enough to scowl there had been talk at Lotus Pier, how well he would fit with that.

But Jiang Cheng also knows that there is a bigger chance of no god choosing him at all.

Not just a vacation [Part 1 of The best catch] The next night Lan Xichen goes back to the beach. He keeps out of sight at first, hoping to catch the man unawares first, his mind still reeling from the research he did during the day.

It’s probably not what Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji wanted for him when they sent him on this vacation, but Lan Xichen needs to know what’s going on here. The only thing his research turned up were tales of mermaid and Lan Xichen is not ready to believe that.

Until he catches sight of a rather huge tail, flapping out of the water.

What Happens in Vegas Comes Home to Taiwan 3,120 [Part 1 of What Happens in Vegas] What do you do when your brother is getting married to someone you can’t stand?

The answer probably shouldn’t be to marry his brother, but in Lan Xichen’s defense, he didn’t know Las Vegas would allow drunk people to tie the knot at three o’clock in the damn morning.

A Lionheart 19,916 Wherein Xichen is a Crown Prince and Jiang Cheng is his bodyguard.

Emergency Help Wanted 76,819 EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.

how to not fall in love in a broken elevator 2,741 [Part 1 of a guide to falling in love (for runaways and heirs)] Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen get stuck in an elevator together.

Stream 4,494 He’s in love with Lan Xichen.

Jiang Cheng blinks once, twice and allows the feeling to fill him completely, at least once, before he ruthlessly squashes it down and locks it into the deepest parts of himself.

By the time Lan Xichen stops laughing and turns his attention back to Jiang Cheng, it’s as if nothing ever happened. Sequel: Umbrella - Savor

Jiang Cheng knows what he’s worth, after all, and it’s definitely not enough for the First Jade of Gusu.

How to get revenge on your brothers: A Guide by Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen 8,339 “That’s it. That’s the solution.”

Jiang Cheng opened an eye confused. “What do you mean?”

There was a weird light in Lan Xichen’s eyes and for a moment Jiang Cheng thought the other had gone crazy. “We will make them understand what it feels like seeing their brothers being… intimate with each other.”

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities 80,575 Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.

do you eat pringles with or without the shell? 32,291 Wei Wuxian smiles at him, the bastard. “I’m proud of you for figuring this out. That means Xichen-ge is your gay awakening.”

“Don’t put it like that,” Jiang Cheng sighs but he isn’t wrong.

All This Could Be Yours 17,337 After transferring to the main branch of his family’s publishing business and into his newly-acquired responsibilities as its CEO and managing director, Lan Huan finds himself stressed and burnt out. His brother recommends a solution.

Jiang Cheng is too gay to deal with this shit.

how should i know what tomorrow will bring 1,630 “If they can’t accept the fact that Jin Ling will always be there, then they might as well fuck off.” Jiang Cheng points out.

“Well, sure.” Wei Wuxian concedes. “But you don’t even give them time to know if they want to be involved with you before you’re kicking them away. That’s not how first dates are supposed to go.”

“How would you know,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, annoyed that Wei Wuxian is right. This time. “You haven’t been on a date since like, 2002.”

Children's Secrets 5,225 Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen swap nephews for a weekend. Some revelations are made.

the Magical-Realism of Awkwardness 10,168 Jiang Cheng thinks things can't get worse when he is forced to third wheel Wei Wuxian and Lanzhan's date.

Then Lan Xichen shows up and proves that things damn well can.

(Or, what shapes up to be one of the worst days of Jiang Cheng's life takes an entirely different turn.)

in the incense is tangled a cool moon 3,614 Some loves aren't meant to be, Wanyin knows. 

Pay me in love 2,770 Madame Yu watches Lan Xichen walk away, until he is out of earshot, before she turns towards Jiang Cheng.

“What are you paying him?” she wants to know and Jiang Cheng can do nothing but stare dumbly at her.

“What?” he asks when she doesn’t say anything else.

“Did you really think I would believe you’re dating Lan Xichen, CEO of Lan Enterprises? Nice try, Jiang Cheng. Now tell me what you’re paying him.”

a slight tilt of perception 5,238 It was just a dance. 

Jiang Cheng, trying to avoid the society matrons and their matchmaking-themed whispers, accepted a dance invitation from Lan Xichen, an old friend.

He forgot that his dance partner was probably the most eligible bachelor in the room.

He forgot that was all it could take: a moment, a look, hands intertwined in a dance—and everything could change.

Not at all fake 3,070 “Tomorrow,” Jiang Cheng gives back and then makes a noise as if he’s dying. “Fucking hell, I’m a dead man. If I show up tomorrow without anyone in tow—without someone in tow who can give Lan Wangji a run for his money—then I am dead.”

There’s a beat of silence and then Lan Xichen says “Take me.”

Jiang Cheng blinks a few times, processing the words, but even after a full minute they don’t make any sense.

For better, for worse 6,713 People forget marriage vows are more than pretty words. It's easy to honor them when it comes to good things but they're easily forgotten when it comes to darker times. Lan Huan, however, always keeps them in mind. To love someone like Jiang Cheng, who wears his emotions on his sleeve due his terrible parents, is to remember that love is not simple.

Glow 3,033 [Part 1 of Eldritch!Lans AU] Jiang Cheng carefully turns his head, maybe the absence of his boyfriend is what woke him up, but when he looks at Lan Xichen’s side, he’s met with something so dark it even stands out against the darkness of the night.

There’s a void next to him in bed and Jiang Cheng throws himself out of it, Zidian already crackling and sparking, illuminating the room in a faint purple.

White Lotus in Bloom 7,147 As the Crown Prince from Gusu Lan visiting YunMeng Jiang, Lan Huan was beyond excited to attend the region's famous Lotus Festival, where he meets a boy in purple and black.

Never Had I Ever 56,263 Nie Mingjue is almost certain that Jin Guangyao has an ulterior motive for dating his best friend, Lan Xichen. However despite voicing his concerns, his best friend seems unconvinced and Lan Xichen continues to date the said man. Unable to give up just yet, Nie Mingjue tries a different tactic--convincing his best friend the man is not the right person for him by setting him up. Fortunately for him, Wei Wuxian's youngest brother is very much single and seems to be just the kind of person his best friend needs. Can Jiang Cheng truly change Lan Xichen's mind, or will Nie Mingjue's plan is a disaster from the beginning?

As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.

Comfort 1,838 Wei Wuxian always pisses him off, this is common between them. Some fights, however, make Jiang Cheng sad enough to lock himself away from people and Lan Xichen has taken on the role of always being there to comfort him.

midnight comforts 1,946 At 11:36 his phone buzzed next to his ear. Lan Huan had a strict sleeping routine, but even so he was a fairly light sleeper. He answered the call—no one he knew would call him this late without reason—and murmured a groggy greeting.

“Lan Huan?”

He sat up, already rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“A-Cheng?”

“I know it’s late,” he started, voice sounding odd through the phone, “but you,” he stopped again with a gasp. Now that he was more alert, Lan Huan realized with mounting horror that the hitch in his breath, the odd thickness, was from crying. “You said I could come over whenever,” he finished, voice much shakier.

To The Beat 1,859 [Part 1 of Fever]

"The bathroom is over there you fuc--"

His words caught in his throat as he saw the person on the other side. He looked a lot like Wei Ying's boyfriend, but he was smiling and his eyes were somehow kind; comparatively, the most expression he'd ever seen on Lan Zhan's face was mild disdain.

Jiang Cheng must have been staring dumbly for a while because the man cleared his throat. There was a blush rising on his cheeks, and oh fuck, that was kind of cute.

"I apologize for interrupting your night. I was told that this room was where the people who were 'no fun' were supposed to go," the man said. His voice was deep and somehow just as smooth as his skin, which was flawless.

It Took Me So Long To Find You 6,349 [Soulmate AU]

But it didn’t take him too long to realize that he was simply not worthy of the other.

So he hoped at least that they could become friends.

Lotus Pier burned down before Jiang Cheng could think of telling Lan XiChen. And after the Sunshot Campaign, he understood, being Lan XiChen’s soulmate would not just be a burden to the other, it would be a curse.

paint my skies with your skin 15,473 [Soulmate AU] “There’s no point in this, is there?” Jiang Cheng scoffs, “We both know I am not who you want your soulmate to be.”

“Soulmate or not, you have my heart and my ribbon. Only if you want it, Wanyin.”

once upon a dream 18,438 [Part 1 of once upon a dream] An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.

[rvmmm21]

[ V V S her diamonds ]

summary : seungwan is an idiot, joohyun is an idiot. cupid rips his hair out in frustration.

small note : please yell at galaxygerbil for me. for putting justin freaking bieber’s ‘anyone’ in my head on loop for centuries and for the hectic mess that i am when i read their fics. this is an attempt the only genre i have been skirting around because i just cannot read/write angst. if this ages decently, yay.

p.s. characters are from my first wenrene university au (you know who i am?) so it’s identical in regards to characters and the au itself, but a different plot. 

tw : slight angst (but it’s all cupid’s), perpetual urge to scream.

[senior!irene x junior!wendy]

. . .

[5:15p.m.] Seungwan rushes past the temptation of bookshops, restaurants and arcades. She silently curses when she very nearly falls flat on her face from an uneven bit of pavement.

. . .

“Seungwan-ah!” Yerim calls out, retracting her debit card from the exasperated cashier and waving Seungwan towards her. “Come, hurry up and order something.”

The blonde shyly weaves through the crowded little arcade cafe, eliciting pointed looks and grunts from hungry patrons. She leaves the ‘I-dare-you-to-challenge-my-best-friend-right-now’ stare to Yerim. 

Seungwan reaches the counter with a huff. “What are you guys getting?” 

“I got bibimmyeon.” The younger glances over her shoulder at Seulgi who’s scrolling through her phone at the table in the corner. “Uh, i think Seul got pork mandu.”

Seungwan holds up two fingers and a polite smile. “Two bibimmyeon, please.”

The cashier inputs their orders with a click of a button, swiping Yerim’s card through the reader.

The duo shuffle away with a number card on a metal stand, heading for the table under the stairs. A harassed Seulgi barely notices her friends sitting down.

“You’re here?” She clicks her phone off and begins rummaging through her Muji pencil case for a pencil. “What did you get? I think we’re pulling an all-nighter.”

“Bibimmyeon, same as Yerimie.” Seungwan grimaces, more at the possibility of another sleepless night. But such is university life. Plus, she’d much rather her friends keep her accountable than procrastinate alone. Especially on projects that weighed so heavily on her final grade.

Yerim elbows Seungwan, who suddenly notices she’s the last to get her materials out.

Like clockwork, the three get to work, the clicking of their keyboards overtaken by frantic plastic clicking of various 90’s arcade machines.

Thankfully, food is served right as they’re wrapping up chapter three, the worst one of them all. Seungwan, Seulgi and Yerim scarf down their food like girls ten years starved, focused on feeding the demands of their stomachs rather than their assignments.

. . .

The sun retires past the blue-purple horizon, leaving three burnt out students standing outside a closed cafe, clutching laptops and notebooks in the dark. They hastily make plans again for next week’s study date, sweeping the forgotten all-nighter under the rug, all too eager to head home and shut the door in the faces of their due dates and exams.

“Same time next week?” Seungwan asks after a yawn.

Seulgi shakes her head, squinting at her calendar app. “I have dance tryouts then. Can we do Thursday instead? We can meet at the same time then, or even earlier.”

Yerim agrees to everything, seconds away from falling asleep on her feet. 

“Alright,” the blonde sighs, plugging the aux cable into her phone and flipping through her Spotify. “See you guys then. Yerimie bring your own highlighter next time.”

Everyone mumbles, turning their own ways.

. . .

“YAH!”

The rude exclamation of a tall, red-faced boy while his smaller friend stands meekly behind him blares attention bells to the furthest corner of their university cafeteria.

Seungwan pauses mid-chew to shush a pouting Yerim, who’s upset that her funny dog story was interrupted right as it was getting good. They face the commotion and Seungwan beholds a pair of steely eyes gazing boredly from underneath the brim of a black Yankee baseball cap.

That signature glare belongs to none other than Bae Joohyun, someone the junior recognises instantly from (truthfully much more than) one of their shared literature electives. And of course, beside her stands her equally as intimidating friends, Park Sooyoung and Kim Jennie. 

And the hothead is the only person who’d be stupid enough to challenge a trio like that: fresh campus casanova, Wong Lucas. Seungwan’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline, but she isn’t surprised.

Everyone’s attention has been commanded now, but if the boy cared, he didn’t show it.

“Yah, freshman.” Jennie snaps, gripping her mocha latte and stepping to the front while Sooyoung suspiciously eyes him and his friend. “Speak with some respect. What’s wrong with you! We’re your seniors.”

The meek girl behind him looks terrified, curly mousy-brown ponytails shadowing the cold sweat visibly beading on her forehead. She almost moves to say something but Lucas stops her with a firm hand, turning back to continue berating the girl in the cap.

“You couldn’t even let her talk?!” The irony is lost on him, as a frown settles on his arched eyebrows, frustration frosting over his features. “She told me you rejected her before she could finish. Did you have to speak so rudely? Do you know how hard it is to confess?”

A hint of apprehension creeps into Sooyoung’s expression and Jennie fights the urge to splash her drink right in his face. Followed by the cup.

Bae Joohyun simply resists a yawn.

“Can you move? We’re busy.” 

It’s the first time she’s spoken since the outburst, and Seungwan feels her palms sweat.

The girl behind Lucas finally speaks. Her eyes are glossy and wide, overflowing with hurt and betrayal. “It’s okay, s-sunbae. B-but I… I was hoping we could still–”

“I’m not interested,” comes the cut and dry reply.

A bystander innocently tries to diffuse the rising tension. He lightly places his hand on the boy’s shoulder, darting his gaze between the two teams. “Alright I think that’s enough.” He turns to Lucas. “No need to be so hostile, be a gentleman and apologise.”

“Whatever.” Lucas irritatedly shrugs him off, piercing stare fixed on the senior who couldn’t look more disinterested. “You deserve it. You think you can just talk however you want just because you’re pretty? Self-centred trash, fix your attitude first.”

Sooyoung’s jaw drops, Jennie goes wide-eyed, and Yerim is fumbling around with the record button as quietly as she can. 

Seungwan’s heart quickens in pace.

Joohyun doesn’t even realise she’s lunging forward.

. . .

The cafeteria disperses with hushed whispers and repeated glances over shoulders until it’s just Seungwan, Seulgi and Yerim left. They’re glued to their seats, astounded at the sight of Wong Lucas on the ground, clutching his nose in pain while Song Yuqi stands frozen to the spot, paled in horror at witnessing her crush just sock her older brother square in the face.

It’s so silent save for the moaning and groaning from the floor.

“Did you see that?” Seungwan murmurs back at her friends, unaware that her eyes glint with obvious admiration. “That was kinda cool.”

Seulgi’s lip quirks in disbelief. “It’s definitely broken. Look at her, she’s insane.”

“Right?” Yerim snickers, already posting the video clip to their group chat. “Insanely co-ordinated. Best thing that’s happened all day.” 

“I’m gonna offer her a Band-Aid,” Seungwan spontaneously decides, ignorant to the horror plastered on both her friends’ faces.

Yerim makes tiny, urgent neck slice motions while Seulgi quickly yanks an eager Seungwan down hard by the sleeve.

“Ow, Seul!” The blonde mouths, brows furrowing in annoyance. 

The dancer takes the opportunity to knock some sense into her. “Seriously, are you crazy?” she whispers harshly, her own nerves flaring at the thought of being overheard. “It’s an insult! She’s going to kill you.”

Both girls try to stop their friend from making the dumbest decision of her life, but Seungwan frees herself from their frantically grasping limbs, slinging her bag over her shoulder and heading to the crime scene.

She reaches just in time to feel Lucas brush angrily past them and out the doors. Yuqi slinks after him, casting Joohyun an apologetic look. 

Way to get rejected twice, Seungwan sympathises. Poor kid, with a sibling who’s an idiot Hercules. 

It takes all her willpower to wrestle her racing heartbeat and her self-preservation instinct into submission. The junior approaches with care, trying with everything she has to convey that she comes in peace.

Joohyun shifts her focus to her and Seungwan’s legs almost go jelly, but something about Joohyun draws her in like a spell. She hated playing good samaritan in situations like these, but it isn’t as though Seungwan hasn’t been dying to talk to her impossibly attractive senior since the first day of class.

You miss any chance you don’t take, right? Yes, obviously.

“H-hi sunbaes,” Seungwan greets with a cautious bow. This is the closest she’s been to the black velvet trio and it’s certainly leaving an impression. She doesn’t even have to look back to know that her block-head friends are gawping at the scene, wondering how their loser of a friend is so okay with dying at the age of twenty two.

Blinking, Seungwan washes her thoughts of how dazzling Joohyun looks, even when she looks like she’s out for blood. Especially when she looks like she’s out for blood.

Suddenly remembering the other reason she came over here, the small blonde holds out some alcohol wipes and Band-Aids like gifts. “Are you h– are you okay?”

“Of course I am,” Joohyun responds curtly. She surely knows her icy stare crumples Seungwan’s insides like butter paper. Perhaps that’s why she does it. “It’s over.”

“A-are you sure your fist knows?” The junior tries, all too aware the girl in front of her could have her wiped off the face of the earth with the snap of her fingers.

A scowl ghosts across Joohyun’s face before she drops her eyes to where her fist is still clenched and trembling slightly.

Seungwan fills the silence with an awkward chuckle. “Just thought you might want to clean up after the battle.”

Jennie and Sooyoung’s unimpressed looks are replaced with shock when Joohyun actually accepts a wet wipe from the younger’s shaking hands. Her eyes are pinned to the wipe as it glazes over bruised, rosy knuckles.

The shorter girl internally swoons. Her mere offering has been received! – and not just received regularly, but received with a frosty ‘thank you’, to top it all off. 

As the three seniors are leaving, Seungwan secretly prays that Yerim used her brains and recorded this moment too.

She flinches out of her thought bubble when Seulgi lands a palm clumsily on her shoulder.

“Wah, daebak,” the Cadbury-haired dancer congratulates her crazy, bodacious friend. “So what was that, like your first date or something?”

Yerim scoffs, hooking her arm around Seulgi’s bicep and dragging her out. “Come on Seul, we might as well start eating bugs and singing ‘Can You Feel The Love Tonight’. Wannie unnie can’t see us anymore.”

Seungwan rushes after her best friends, picking up her pace when they break into a power walk to the bus station.

“Yerm-ah! Did you get that? Please tell me you got that!”

[dothwrites]

spn advent calendar--advent wreath

Established Dean/Castiel, Castiel & Gabriel friendship

{Read on Ao3}

It’s been a long day. It was a long day at 9am when his students came into class, it was a long day at 11am when students started to trickle into his office hours, complaining of misunderstandings and mishaps and begging for extensions for final papers. By 3pm, it was an excruciatingly long day, and now, at 6pm, it’s an unbearably long day. All Castiel wants is to lie down on his couch, put his feet up, and pass out for the next 12 hours. 

That’s his plan as his key turns in the lock. That’s his plan when he opens the door.

His plan changes when he takes two steps into his living room. 

Problem #1--There is a light on. He, being the environmentally responsible citizen that he is, turned all lights off this morning before he left. 

Problem #2--His entire living room reeks of whiskey. Not the cheap stuff either. This is the good, thirty year stuff that he shares with Dean on special occasions, or when he really, really wants to get lucky. 

Problem #3--His stereo system is currently playing godawful Christmas pop at a decibel level that’s not quite deafening but certainly isn’t quiet either. 

Problem #4--The biggest problem of all, and most likely the cause of all the other, lesser problems, sits on his couch. 

Well, sits is a generous verb. The problem is more slumped on his couch. Maybe poured into his couch. 

“Gabriel?” Cas asks, blinking hard just in case this is a nightmare. When he opens his eyes again, Gabriel is still there. Still on his couch. Still listening to Christmas music. Still drinking his expensive whiskey. Still in his house. 

“Castiel,” Gabriel slurs. His hazy eyes focus on Castiel with a form of manic glee. “You’re home.”

“Yes,” Castiel says, gingerly setting his bag down. “Yes I am. The question remains, however, as to why you’re in my house.” He pauses to consider what he should have considered before. “Did you break in?” 

Gabriel pushes himself up into something resembling a seated position. “You keep your spare key in a fake rock outside your house. I’m surprised that you’re not robbed every weekend.” 

Now for the million dollar question--”Why are you here?” 

Gabriel slumps back into the couch. “Man can’t visit his favorite cousin?”

“Not generally speaking, no.” Castiel leans against the wall and folds his arms. “Considering that we speak about twice a year.” 

Gabriel goes even more boneless. If he tried a little bit harder, he could possibly become one with the couch. “Kali broke up with me.” He says the latter with depressing finality. 

“I thought she did that two years ago.” 

“That wasn’t for real.”

“Then how do you know that this one is? Maybe if you give her some time then she’ll do the same this time.” 

“No, this time she’s serious.” Gabriel buries his face into the arm of the couch. “She packed up all my stuff. She threw away all of my food. She gave me back my pendant.” He produces a small, shining red pendant and holds it in front of Castiel like a talisman. 

“Is that the one that has your blood in it?” Castiel’s nose wrinkles in disgust. “Your girlfriend is weird.” 

“Ex-girlfriend,” Gabriel moans, tucking the pendant close to his chest. “I’m homeless, helpless. I have no one else to turn to.” 

“You have three vacation houses. Didn’t you used to own a yacht?”

“It’s all meaningless. None of it’s worth anything without her. Life is pointless if you don’t have someone to share it with.” Gabriel lurches up, hands flailing towards Castiel. He manages to latch onto Castiel’s wrist and tugs him close enough that his boozy breath hits Castiel like an alcoholic slap to the face. Gabriel asks his question with world-ending intensity; his eyes locked onto Castiel’s.“You’re still with Dean, right?”

Castiel nods and Gabriel sags in relief. “Don’t ever let him go,” Gabriel says, slumping forward into a weird embrace. 

Castiel thinks about Dean’s delight at their shopping yesterday and the meatballs that he made when they got back home. He thinks about how, after they’d finished washing the dishes, he and Dean curled up together on the couch, tucked under one of Dean’s blankets, Dean’s fingers rubbing at the tense spots on the back of his neck. He remembers the soft kiss Dean pressed to his temple and the soft whisper of I love you murmured into his hair. 

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Castiel answers. 

A gentle push sends Gabriel sprawling back on his couch. Gabriel moans and throws his arm up over his eyes. “So can I call you a cab? Maybe your driver? Get them to take you back to one of your multiple residences?”

Gabriel yanks his arm away from his face. His expression is a mixture of offended and horrified. “Castiel, how can you say such a thing? Christmas is for family. I’m spending the holidays with you.”

Castiel searches Gabriel’s face for any hint of a joke. He finds none. Gabriel is dead serious and Castiel knows, from harsh experience, that once Gabriel’s mind is set on something, it’s easier to change the position of the stars. 

“You and me all through the holidays!” Gabriel fishes under his butt and comes out with a rumpled looking wreath and four candles, one of which is broken. “I brought you an advent wreath.”

Castiel takes the fake plastic evergreen and tries to bend it back into shape. “I’m not even Catholic,” he murmurs. He looks up just in time to see Gabriel fall asleep.

Castiel waits a moment before he hooks the wreath around his elbow and fishes his phone out from his back pocket. He glances at Gabriel, who is attractively drooling onto his upholstery. 

We have a problem, he sends to Dean. 

---

Tagging: @screamatthescreen @queenvee08 @dizzypinwheel @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @homeriics. If you want to be added or removed, just shout at me! <3

[peacefulheartfarm]

Cheese Makes You Happy

How Cheese Makes You Happy!

Today’s Show

Homestead Life Updates

Cheese and Nutrition

Nutritional content

Cheese tastes good

Facts about fat content

Lactose intolerance

Why cheese makes people happy

Cheese Fondue Recipe

Homestead Life Updates

Scott is working hard on getting the creamery built. Every day that does not bring adverse weather sees him out there building the walls. There are also lots of other odds and ends and details he adds in there that breaks up the monotony. I’m am so blessed to have such a wonderful life here with him. Our life has purpose and meaning as we both work hard to bring you the benefits of traditional hand-made artisan cheese.

The winter drags on. Seems like a long one this year doesn’t it? Every year winter is the same 13 weeks on the calendar but the weather conditions during that period of time alters our perception of time, I think.

There is a common winter ailment called seasonal affective disorder. I’m sure some of you know of what I speak. It’s a type of depression that’s related to changes in the seasons. Symptoms can begin as early as the fall and continue into the winter months. Occasionally, SAD causes depression into the spring or early summer, but that is rarer. Spring usually brings a rush of relief.

I experience SAD every year. This year is different. I’ve significantly changed my diet and it shows. While I can still feel the effects of this winter season, it is muted compared to previous years. I feel kind of heavy sometimes; slightly weighted down by life in general. 

As an aside, I generally just suffer through it. However, there are things you can do. Light therapy or phototherapy is the most common treatment. Some schools of thought attribute the issue to reduced vitamin D from the sun as there is less light due to the length of the day.  More severe cases may require medication or psychotherapy.

The symptoms may start as a minor issue such as having trouble sleeping or a general loss of interest in doing anything. Low energy, feeling sluggish or maybe agitated for no reason. As the season progresses, the symptoms get worse and worse. In the past it has seemed overwhelming to me. And then, poof, spring arrives and it all evaporates like mist.

Let’s talk about how cheese might help with that. Did you know that cheese has nutritional properties that stimulate our happy hormones? First, let’s cover the basic nutrition in cheese.

Cheese and Nutrition

Cheese is a delicious and tremendously efficient source of nutrition. It supplies many valuable nutrients, including proteins, sugars, vitamins, minerals, and trace elements. A 4-ounce piece of solid farmhouse cheese, for example, supplies more than half the adult nutritional requirements for protein, fat, calcium, and phosphorus as well as significant portions of vitamins A, B2, and B12. If you compare the nutritional content of a 3.5-ounce chunk of a hard, aged cheese such as Cheddar or Emmental to an equivalent amount of chicken eggs (two eggs are about 3.5 ounces), the cheese contains about twice as much protein and one quarter the cholesterol.

The miracle of evolution has ensured that milk is an extremely nutritious food. After all, without it how would mothers, down through the eons, have guaranteed the survival of their babies? Cheese concentrates the nutrients in milk. It’s a highly efficient method of getting vital nutrients for our bodies.

Another advantage to cheese is that its nutrients are “predigested” by bacteria and enzymes during cheesemaking and aging. That means the process of breaking down the proteins, fats, and sugars began before it was savored on our palette and began the journey to our tummy.

Plants in the pasture have absorbed nutrients from the soil; the dairy animals have extracted those nutrients, packaging them in the form of milk. That’s another place that a lot of gathering nutrients has already been done for you. Your body has to devote less effort to processing cheese than it does with many other comparably nutritious foods.

Cheese Tastes Good

Cheese tastes good and satisfies us. A big reason for that is the fat. There are beneficial fats available in milk. Many of them work as antioxidants and also provide fat-soluble vitamins good for our skin and other organs. In cheese, milk fats undergo lipolysis, which breaks them down into more easily absorbed and beneficial fatty acids, some of which in turn enable us to metabolize the fats from other foods.

CLA

Cheeses, especially those made from the milk of grass-fed animals, are a good source of conjugated linoleic acid, or CLA, a highly beneficial nutrient. In small studies involving animals, CLA has been shown to prevent heart disease and several types of cancer. It also appears to enhance the immune system.  CLA is considered a fat-reducing fat. You heard that right. There are studies on this. Let me give you some info from one study. I’ll put a link in the show notes.

Jean-Michel Gaullier, PhD with the Scandinavian Clinical Research Group did the study. It was a relatively small number of participants. 180 men and women were followed for a year. A third got a typical off-the-shelf pill of 80% CLA. Another third got a 76% CLA syrup formula, disguised in a capsule. The last third took a placebo capsule of olive oil.

No one had to change their diet or exercise habits. All reduced their calorie intake a little bit during the study. Likely that was due to tracking with a food diary. That can really wake you up to what you are actually consuming. As far as exercise, all got about the same amount.

The results were:

Both CLA groups lost weight – about 4 pounds; the placebo group stayed the same.

The CLA syrup group had a 9% body fat loss; the CLA pill group had 7% body fat loss; the placebo group had no body fat loss.

Both CLA groups had similar improvements in muscle mass.

Good news ay? Losing weight was good, but I found the conversion of fat to muscle mass to be the most interesting to me.

CLA is found naturally in beef, lamb, goat and dairy products.

Facts About Fat Content

Because cheese contains fat, naturally, it raises concerns. There are some valid concerns there. Not for the fat, but for the calories. A little bit of cheese goes a long way. Real cheese delivers a lot of nutritional bang for your buck and a lot of caloric bang for your buck. The fat is the culprit there. The key is to eat moderate amounts along with your other dietary choices. Let’s talk about the fat content of various cheeses.

Contrary to appearances, hard, grainy cheeses such as Parmesan may actually contain more fat than creamy, luxurious ones such as any triple cream cheese. The rich triple cream types are labeled “75% butterfat” while a Parmigiana–Reggiano claims around 35% butterfat. The trick is that cheeses are labeled by percentage of fat in their solid materials, not in their total weight.

Cheeses retain water, even after much of it is extracted during cheesemaking. The less water a cheese retains, the harder or denser it will be. A dense cheese with, say, 50% butterfat, could actually deliver more fat per serving than a soft, gooey one with 70% butterfat.

Lactose Intolerance

Let’s talk about lactose intolerance. Well–made, aged cheeses are actually one of the few dairy products that will not cause problems for many people with this difficulty. The first and most important step of cheesemaking, alongside protein coagulation, is the conversion of lactose into lactic acid – the souring or fermentation action of lactic acid bacteria on milk. The small amount of lactose left over after active cheesemaking ends is further broken down by glycolysis during aging.

What this means is that for people who have trouble digesting lactose, it’s not a problem because the digestion has already been done for them by the cheesemaking and aging process. Give it a try. You, too, can be a happy cheese eater. Speaking of cheese making your happy. Why is that?

Why cheese makes people happy

A wonderful piece of info I ran across wherein a neurologist talks about how cheese literally makes you happy. Dr. Thomas C Morell is the neurologist. Link to the article will be in the show notes. The title of the piece is Nutritional Neuroscience. The central core of the article is using nutrition to help heal TBI or traumatic brain injury.

There is some really good information about how the brain functions along with how and why nutrition is important to maximize brain function. Later in the article he gets specifically to cheese as “the first food that will help your brain.” He cites cheese as an extraordinarily rich source of proteins and amino acids. One of those amino acids is Tyrosine. Dr. Morell’s comments on the relation of tyrosine to neurotransmitters in the brain are noted in the article.

Some quotes from the article: (again, reference in the show notes) “The body does not produce Tyrosine so it must be obtained from outside sources, of which cheese contains very high concentrations. We quickly began to realize that cheese is one of nature's perfect foods for the body and for brain functioning! Furthermore, the pleasure of eating cheese in its multitude of varieties is not just for the sensuous pleasure of taste and smell, but actually has nutritional importance that will help the neurotransmitters in your brain. Cheese not only supplies calories for metabolism as well as being an excellent source of Calcium, but contains proteins and amino acids that are intricately associated with manufacturing many important brain chemicals.”

Then he talks about how cheese makes people happy. “Cheese can make people happy. Why? It starts with Tyrosine which is a building block for many of the neurotransmitter chemicals in the brain. It can improve mood and well-being particularly during times of stress. Tyrosine is a substrate of many well-known neurotransmitters including adrenaline, norepinephrine, and dopamine. Cheese may be one of the basic primordial foods that improved the performance of our brain, with deep connections from the olfactory bulb to the parts of our brain responsible for memory and emotions. Cheese may just be the perfect food to capture the nutritional-emotional duality that our bodies and brains need!”

I find it so refreshing that our medical profession is starting to look at food as nutrition for building, maintaining, and healing the body. “Cheese contains high levels of casein which is the primary protein found in milk. As casein is broken down and digested it is converted into Tyrosine. Casein is also broken down into the chemical casomorphin, an opioid molecule in the same family as morphine. This may explain some of cheese's addicting qualities!”

I can relate to the addicting quality of cheese. As my diet has improved, my urge for eating too much food is strongly diminished. However, once I start eating cheese, I may overeat if I don’t pay attention. “There are many receptors for the Tyrosine molecule in the olfactory bulb where our sense of smell courses through the Central Nervous System. The Tyrosine in cheese is broken down into several chemicals. One of them is epinephrine (adrenaline) which has many positive physical and mental effects to make us more alert. Epinephrine also increases the flow of oxygen and glucose to the brain and muscles which elicits the "Fight or Flight" response to stressful or dangerous situations. Norepinephrine helps fight off depression and can improve our attention and concentration skills. Dopamine is a powerful neurotransmitter involved in mood stability and accounts for pleasurable feelings and activation of the brain's reward systems. Tyrosine is also a precursor to levodopa which is used to replace deficiency of Dopamine in Parkinson's disease. Finally, Tyrosine is also a precursor to Melatonin, the skin pigment that protects us from ultraviolet sunlight damage but is also associated with insulin production which regulates blood sugar levels.” How perfect is cheese? It makes you feel good with the neurotransmitter action and supplies energy and protein. All are critical for brain performance and memory retention.

As a final note on the topic, have you ever wondered what those little crunchy pockets that develop in the paste of well-made aged cheeses are? Those are crystals of tyrosine embedded in the long chains of amino acids of the casein molecules. When they make your mouth water, they are not only providing cheese eating pleasure but they’re also setting into motion a series of very real and tangible benefits to your body and brain.

Let’s move on to today’s cheese fondue recipe.

Cheese Fondue Recipe

Cheese fondue can be fancy or it can be a quaint and close tradition in any family or group of friends. As an added bonus, it’s easy to make. The only skill needed is the ability to stand at a stove and stir.

Cheese fondue is a Swiss invention which became popular in the US in the 1960’s. I’m looking to revive that tradition. As its core fondue is melted cheese served in a pot over a portable heating device and enjoyed communally. It can be made with or without the official fondue set. A double boiler set up will work just fine. Using a crock pot is also an option. The key is low, slow heat. Add some wooden skewers and your homemade fondue set is complete.

How to Make the Perfect Cheese Fondue at Home

The perfect cheese fondue is rich and smooth. First, I want to go over a few tips to make it easy for that to happen for you. Stick to them and your family and guests will be transported to the Alps from their first bite.

Use Good-Quality Cheese. It will be more expensive but worth it. Even if you ignore all of the other tips, keep this one. Fondue truly is all about the cheese, and the quality and types of cheeses you use will have an enormous impact on the final product.

For classic Swiss cheese fondue (meaning one like what you would find in Switzerland), a mix of traditional, firm alpine mountain-style cheeses is best. Gruyere and Emmental come to mind.

We make a cheese called Pinnacle that will serve you well. There are lots of other cheeses that will also work. No need to be bound by the “Swiss” label.

You want a buttery, creamy cheese that melts smoothly. Cheddar cheese would work. Even though the flavor would be less traditional, it would still taste fantastic. I’ve used our Clau d’ ville Cheddar mixed with alpine-style Pinnacle and the blend warms the heart.

Grate – do not chop – the Cheese. Grated cheese will melt much quicker.

Toss the Cheese with Cornstarch Thoroughly. Cornstarch helps thicken the fondue and prevents the cheese from clumping. You don’t want lumpy cheese!

Classic cheese fondue does call for white wine. Use a good wine. Choose something dry and high acid, such as Sauvignon Blanc.

The taste of the wine directly impacts the taste of the fondue. The acid in the wine helps keep the cheese smooth and gives it an even texture. Again, we don’t want lumpy fondue.

You can substitute unsalted chicken or vegetable stock if you do not want to use wine.

For beer cheese fondue, swap out the wine with your favorite beer. Beer works really well in a cheddar cheese fondue.

Add the Cheese Slowly and Stir Constantly. This is SO important to make sure the cheese fondue is buttery smooth.

Grab a small handful and sprinkle it into the pot. Stir constantly and wait for each addition to melt before adding the next.

Don’t try to rush it—you won’t win. Just enjoy the moment at the stove at peace with yourself, the cheese, and the promise of a luscious fondue.

What Should You Dip?

Bread. Always delicious. French or sourdough cut into 1-inch cubes so that it can be easily skewered.

Apples. Tart apples like Granny Smith are fantastic dipped with cheese fondue. Cut the apples into cubes.

Cherry Tomatoes. One of my absolute favorites!

Roasted Baby Potatoes.

Steamed Broccoli. Reminds me of broccoli cheese soup.

Mushrooms

Game Day Delights:

Potato or tortilla chips

Soft or hard pretzels

Ham, Turkey or Beef

Bacon. Even better than you think it’s going to taste. Make sure the bacon isn’t  too crisp or it will break off in the pot.

Shrimp or mussels

Kielbasa or hot dogs

Pepperoni

Meatballs

Pickles.

The choices are up to you. There are no rules there. Anything that tastes good with cheese it going to be heaven. It takes about 25 minutes to make the fondue.

What You Need

1 pound (4 cups) of 2 or more cheeses of your choice – Gruyere, Emmental, Appenzeller and of course our Pinnacle

2 tablespoons cornstarch

1 cup dry white wine — such as Sauvignon Blanc

1 clove garlic — minced

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

1 tablespoon kirsch – Kirsch is a clear colorless fruit brandy. You may substitute a brandy of your choice

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg – ground

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard (optional)

Assorted Fondue dippers

What to do

Grate all of the cheeses. In a medium bowl, combine the cheeses with the cornstarch, tossing thoroughly to coat all pieces.

In a stove-safe fondue pot or large heavy saucepan, bring the wine, garlic, and lemon juice to a simmer over medium-low heat. Add the cheeses to the simmering liquid a little at a time, stirring well between each addition to ensure a smooth fondue. Once smooth, stir in the brandy, nutmeg, and mustard.

Arrange an assortment of bite-size dipping foods on a platter. Carefully pour the fondue into a fondue pot. Serve with fondue forks or wooden skewers.

Dip and enjoy!

Recipe Notes:

If using a crock pot, no need to wait for the wine and lemon to simmer. Put it all in there and stir as needed until the desired consistency is achieved.

Final Thoughts

I’ve run out of words for today. I hope if you have the winter blues you are taking time out of the day to pamper yourself. And remember, this too shall pass. Enjoy some cheese to get that tyrosine going and get happy.

I hope you’ll try the fondue. You can let me know what creative ideas you used and traditions you started by commenting on the Facebook post @peacefulheartfarm.

As always, I’m here to help you “taste the traditional touch.”

Thank you so much for listening and until next time, may God fill your life with grace and peace.

Recipe Link

Cheese Fondue

References

CLA: The New Miracle Weight Loss Pill?

Nutritional Neuroscience – Dr. Thomas C. Morell

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Check out this episode!

[septembersung]

It’s been a long time since I’ve talked about how I came to the Traditional mass, so since the topic is on anyway: The long and short of it is the TLM was instrumental in my conversion and I wouldn’t be Catholic without it. All my words fall short, but I would dearly love to be able to tell the world with any kind of accuracy why it is so incredible, and why the world needs it.

I was baptized as a toddler and attended a typical tiny backwoods Novus Ordo parish for most of my childhood. There were maybe six kids, lots of elderly, a couple parents, and two or three high schoolers. There I learned such insightful theology as, there’s not really any good reason for women not to be priests. I did, however, have the benefit of reading the Bible a lot more thoroughly than was typical - even if I didn’t have anyone to explain it to me. On the verge of my teenage years we moved and our new parish was bigger, though with still (proportionally) tiny youth engagement. Our religious ed teachers were well-meaning but had no idea what they were talking about. Their idea of a retreat was to sit in total darkness and listen to sappy music. I quit going to mass, got confirmed, and continued not going to mass. But, praise God, I went to an orthodox Catholic college. There was a lot of Catholic Lite culture in the air, which I avoided studiously, correctly identifying it as a quasi-Protestant emotion-fest - the sugar-high version of what my high school parish was trying to instill in us. But my theology professors were the real deal. For the first time there were people who could tell me what the content of the faith was, show me its history, actually answer questions, and identify and shoot down wrongheaded lines of inquiry. It was a revelation. I promptly spent a solid year and a half studying interreligious dialogue - entering the study of truth by the back door, as it were. At the end of that, having run up against the un-negotiable “stumbling block” of Christ, whose claim to be Truth and have given it in fullness to his Church cannot be watered down or explained away, I gave up, signed on as a theology major, and got down to the business of figuring just what this “arrogant” Church had to say for herself. I was still not going to mass. My saving graces - and I mean grace literally - were a fear and awe of the Eucharist, and an emotional devotion to Our Lady.

By my senior year, I was, personally, six kinds of a wreck (which is a whole other story) but also convinced that if Catholicism wasn’t true, nothing was - whether or not I could learn to live it. Into that latent conviction, a total unwillingness to deal with its looming consequences for me, and my generally wrecky life entered a new boyfriend, stage right: he was very smart, very handsome, very stubborn, and a convert. I knew within weeks that we were destined for each other. (Spoiler alert: we got married a year and a half later.) Our arguments about politics, culture, and religion shook walls. We were both wrong, in different ways, and helped make each other more right. That Holy Week, he asked me go to the Traditional Latin Triduum and Easter Vigil. I reluctantly agreed. It could no longer be put off: I had finally come to a reckoning with the Person behind all the theology. I got my sorry butt to confession, the start of a long and painful ongoing process, and we went.

I didn’t like it.

But I was also not happy - and never had been - with the NO. 

Fast forward: We were engaged and in grad school - in different states, but within driving distance. I was the only one with a working vehicle, so I was the one who traveled. It was very important to us that we prioritize seeing each other face to face during our engagement, so we sacrificed a lot of time and money to make it happen regularly. Being apart was very hard on our relationship. One Saturday night when I wasn’t visiting, he told me he’d found a new church to check out tomorrow, he’s excited to visit it, and can’t wait to tell me about it. 

I waited. all. day. All day. It was late, after dinner time, when I finally heard back from him. Turns out it’s way in the middle of nowhere service is spotty, and he stayed from the morning mass all the way through dinner. He was excited about the great group of people, the hospitable priest who hosted regular come-as-you-are, quasi-potluck Sunday dinners at the rectory - and the priest offered the Latin Mass. 

Thus began my love affair with the usus antiquor. He went every Sunday, and I went as often as I visited. I started going to the monthly low mass at my own local church. He bought me a missal, and I learned how to use it. I started comparing the old and the new rite, both reflectively and analytically. I started reading about the changes and went down all the rabbit holes regarding Vatican II. (I’d studied Vatican II in college, but it was strictly the texts. Looking back, I see that the professor very carefully walked a fine line of subject matter that allowed him to neuter the “spirit of Vatican II!” version of history without actually getting into what happened before and after the Council. But I digress.) I had to engage, body and soul and mind, with the mass, and my own faith - not just an intellectual study anymore, or something to be endured because that’s just what Catholics on Sunday, I was confronted with the foundational questions: What’s the point of the mass? Why, why any of it? It was a humbling process, a spiritual crucible. All at once I wasn’t just a disembodied intellect asking probing questions, but a soul face-to-face with her Creator, Judge, and Redeemer, applying theology to my own life: what do I owe to God? how do I fulfill that obligation? Where do I encounter Him? What is being asked of me? And miracle of miracles, I had this wonderful community to help me as I went through this process.

Fast forward a number of years: that little church is where we got married, in the old rite, and where our first child was baptized, also in the old rite. Since then we’ve moved twice and had more children, but wherever we go, travel, or plan to move, we go to the TLM. It’s the solid foundation of our family life. Our kids are growing up inundated with beauty, reverence, and a sense of the sacred. We’re very lucky; in our current city, the TLM community has the use of a beautiful church and a rotation of pastors, one of whom also runs the most successful and reverent parish in the city, who offer mass for us every Sunday, some weekdays (at various locations), and most holy days. (And for Holy Week, as a church can have only one holy week and not two in different rites, we are able to make a pilgrimage, as it were, to an FSSP church.)

The ancient rite opened up the presence and person of Christ for me in a way that nothing else, certainly not the NO mass, ever had. I finally understood the point and purpose of the liturgy, and therefore of the whole Christian life. I had to check my pride and my assumptions and my self-satisfaction at the door and be broken open in a brand new way. I had to take Christ on His terms, or not at all. The old rite embodies the truth of the Catholic faith - it lives them, and for the person who embraces them, makes that person to live them. It’s not an add-on to our lives, it doesn’t fit in neatly with the rest of our modern existence. It makes itself the foundation and center of everything, because it is the dwelling place of Christ, and we are meant and made to dwell with Him. 

The old mass and everything that goes with it, all the things that were cut out of the new order when it was invented, the prayers and the obligations and the seasonal markers and the theology, the way of seeing God and ourselves and the Church and the world, is the living tradition of the Catholic faith, our unbroken link to all and everyone that has come before us. In the old calendar, we celebrate feasts on the same days that the great saints of the past did; we sing the same chants and say the same prayers; it’s bigger than we are, and because it’s focused on God, exclusively, and not on ourselves, it heals us and helps us and transforms us in a way that anthropocentric styles of prayer never can. The old life of the Church doesn’t bring God down to our level, but transforms us, raises us up to Him. 

So much of what we take for granted today about the mass, about the faith, so many of the attitudes and assumptions that we have absorbed or been taught, are wrong. Point blank, they are wrong, they are in conflict with what the Church taught for millennia, they are not “of the mind of the Church,” and they have been wreaking havoc on Catholic life for going on a century now. I have made a special study of this history of ideas and their effects over the years, and it is ongoing. The more I learn, the harder I find it to summarize to others just what’s wrong with the way contemporary Catholicism is practiced, and the more profoundly grateful I am that I was brought - by human love - into the fulness of Catholic tradition. Now that I have the benefit of nearly five years of almost exclusive TLM attendance, I wonder how I ever lived without it. I have very strong feelings about it; it’s the driving force behind my desire to evangelize because now I understand what I’m inviting people to share. Not a set of intellectual propositions, not a feeling, but a way of life that boldly and unapologetically has Christ enthroned at its center - a tangible way to see and worship that involves the whole person, body and soul, that makes demands on us. I wish I could bring all of my friends, Catholic and non-Catholic, to a glorious high mass at a beautiful church with all the smells and bells. Because the glory of Christ is there, and His glory is ours.

I went through some tags to find some things I’ve written before: Latin in mass, “NO vs TLM feels”, why I came and stayed for the TLM, book recs, Latin and the vernacular.

If you want to understand more about the TLM, the new books I’m recommending to everyone are Kwasniewski’s Noble Beauty, Transcendent Holiness and Fr. Jackson’s Nothing Superfluous.

[onemanandhismustang-com-blog]

There is an English proverb which is “Horses  for courses” which basically means different people are suited to different things. I liked the idea of the heading as this car show was held at Newmarket Race Course. I’m certainly not a horse racing fan, but I do have a lot in common with ponies and horses, the original Ford Pony cars and how many horses I can unleash under the hood that is. Anyway, I have had a little surf of the net and found some history of the Newmarket Race Course:

Racing in Newmarket was recorded in the time of James I. Charles II was known to attend races on Newmarket Heath with his brother, the future James II. The first recorded race was a match for £100 between horses owned by Lord Salisbury and Marquess of Buckingham in 1622. The racecourse itself was founded in 1636. Around 1665, Charles inaugurated the Newmarket Town Plate and in 1671 became the first and only reigning monarch to ride a winner.  Up until 1744, the two most valuable races run at the course were the King’s Plate and the Town Plate. Two more Plate races were added in that year, paid for by local traders, both worth 50 guineas (a coin of approximately one quarter ounce of gold that was minted in Great Britain between 1663 and 1814, worth around £1.05p in modern money). The name came from the Guinea region in West Africa, where much of the gold used to make the coins originated- one was a race for five-year-olds carrying 9 stone, one was an open age race in four mile heats. Another paid for by landowners was a four-year-old race over four miles, each carrying 8 stone 7 lbs. At that time, formal races at Newmarket only took place twice a year – once in April, once in October. Since then many, many more big race meets have been added to the calendar making it Britain’s premier race venue.

Newmarket is hugely influenced by the horse racing set, and all the money and trappings that go with it. Some beautiful houses around the town which are some of the most expensive I have seen in the country side with the land that comes with them. Also without a doubt the horses are looked after properly at the race course with rubberised walk ways where the horses walk, the place is spotlessly clean. There is a huge betting presence there to take your hard earned cash from you with plenty of viewing areas, but not as many as thought there would be.

When I was at Elveden Car Show a few weeks ago, I was handed a flier for this event with a lot of hype for new cars, classic cars, children’s entertainment and stalls. This was the second year for the event and was going to be bigger and better than the previous year. I found out that only a handful of classic cars attended last year.

On arrival I was directed in and told to follow the path round to the main display area. Being greeted by another staff member who decided that I was heavy so I wasn’t allowed on the grass, so I was told to park out the front of the main building just on the corner.

After parking up and cleaning the dust of the car after the drive to Newmarket I had a look around the other cars. There wasn’t a lot to look at all, there was however a lot of new cars from sales rooms around the area selling their stock of brand new and used cars. I believe this was the main purpose of the event and the classic were asked to attend in order to get people into the place and provide some other interest.

And there was a very well dressed older gentleman who was the ‘car expert’ there. He said this was the first AC Cobra made and was worth millions.

He was partly correct as the Original AC (chassis number CSX2000) is indeed is worth tens of millions, it was also in left hand drive and it’s certainly not left unguarded at a Newmarket Race Course. However the pretty lady immaculately dressed and dripping with some expensive jewellery, who was about a quarter of his age I reckon, looked (almost) impressed at his knowledge!

The other side of the main building was where the car dealers from all makes who were selling cars at discounted prices and where the majority of the people were to be honest.

Even a few great looking motorbikes were for sale along with a few couple of classics.

There was one car (I think it was a car) that caught my eye from Renault. I did try and get in the ‘car’ but I failed (very) miserably I might add. I got shoes bigger than this car in fact.

There were a few Mustangs there all be it this first one was a statue and not a Mustang from what I could work out from my very limited horse knowledge.

Almost opposite me was me was an Aston Martin race car that previously one its race the week before. a 740bhp ‘detuned’ to 600bhp to allow it to race.

The entertainment was a generous term unless you wanted to eat burgers, have a go on the racing simulator or play the electronic driving range for the golfers out there. Neither of which were exactly busy should we say.

  The only stalls was a home made sweet stall, a bloke selling a couple of old workshop manuals and the plod with a Porsche GT4 they use. Now I know where my tax paying money goes, not on the maintenance of the roads, oh no. It’s being spent out for these jobsworths so they can sit in flash cars and eat donuts all day! They just wait on slip roads waiting for a motorist doing a couple of miles over the speed limit instead of catching murders, grooming gangs, knife crime and rapists in third world capital city now called ‘Londonistan’! Rant over. Before you say it; no I’m not jealous – I am not a Porsche fan and never have been. Great cars obviously, but they just don’t do anything for me.

As the day wore slowly on after running out of things to look, I wasn’t feeling to well and just sat in my chair, in the shade and reading a free newspaper I was given on my little walk around. I even asked an official if I could leave early as I wasn’t feeling great, but health and safety guidelines said no, I had to stay until 4.30pm. I thought it was just the sun, but it turned into something a bit more for the next couple of days. But to add to my woes the general consensus of the day was they public could sit in the cars of the dealers. The public thought that this applied to the classic cars as well, I had to stop kids pulling on the handles and I made a point of telling one bloke who opened my drivers door before I even locked it, I was getting my chair out the trunk at the time. He had taken of his back pack, dumped it on the floor and was about to get in my car. I told him to pay some respect and to ‘ruck right off’ should we say, those that know me will know exactly what I said. He just didn’t like the idea of me stopping him. One thing was for sure, when it comes to my car, there was no way he was getting in it. His girlfriend did come over to apologise after he walked away. I was not amused and never moved from my perch watching the car at all times when somebody got near it.

On the plus side, have you noticed that I didn’t mention the rain? Well it didn’t rain and the sun was out all day, at long last my rain jinx had been broken. 😀

As there wasn’t a lot to take photos of I tried a few different ideas for a few shots. Where I had parked the car it was a little slope, so if the car looks as though it leaning to one side, it was.

Newmarket Race Course was a lovely place to be, but I doubt I will go back there again. Such a shame, it could have been so much more, it wasn’t as though they didn’t have the room either. I think this last pic sums it up for me. The day had its ups and downs.

Horses for Courses There is an English proverb which is "Horses  for courses" which basically means different people are suited to different things.

[davemerritt]

Dave...how is your loaf winner this morning?

Two thousand and eighteen. It’s frightening how fast the years seem to be disappearing so quickly, but as always on new years eve (and now new years day) I take time to look back over the last 12 months and all the things that have happened that make me appreciate how lucky I am, even if the months do seem be passing by right in front of my eyes.

So no better place to start than January 2017 and to begin the new year in a traditionally festive fashion I went down to Saint Marys to watch Southampton. I rarely get to go to the football these days, simply down to cost more than anything, but when I do get to go it’s always a joy, even if we lose more than we win. Steve and I also made the most of the gorgeous winter sunshine by walking our way along the Purbeck coast. After completing my runs for charity I’ve still kept up and entered a few events in 2017, but an issue with my foot meant I couldn’t compete at the same level, however in January I dragged my friend Jack out to Pipley Woods in Bath and we took part in the ‘Mud bath’ event which was exactly what you think it was, a rather messy start to the year for running indeed. Back at work we had the pleasure of welcoming Jim Parkyn to the art department for one day to run a workshop. Jim is one of the team behind Aardman’s ‘Shaun the Sheep’ and a wonderful nice chap and the whole day was fantastic. On the social side of things I caught Seaway at the Fleece and went to a Q&A with David Seaman and Lee Dixon that was a great little evening for the Merlin theatre.

The Westway cinema has always had it’s rustic charm and I’ve always been a true believer in supporting it, but it closed it’s doors all of a sudden one day but thanks to a small group of people at S&B cinemas in Burnham the Westway was saved and a conversion took place that saw the cinema split into 3 smaller screens, meaning the building could have a wider variety of movies on offer. Since it reopened in 2017 I’ve been multiple times (twice in the last fortnight just in December) and it is a wonderful asset to the town. There is no pretention, no gimmicks, no ridiculous coffee and no sky-high prices and the town should be forever grateful.  In February Jess was somewhat between jobs as her maternity cover at LTS came to an end and as a way to help pass the time whilst applying for new work she managed to find two little dogs that needed a walker and company during the week. These two little puppers are called ‘Diggory’ and ‘Pippa’ and I got to meet them this month and although Jess now sees them less than she did before, they are still a  lovely part or her life and it’s hard not to fall in love with them if you ever got to meet them. Not too much was going on around my own theatre work at the start of the year but Frome College put on a production of ‘We Will Rock You’ which Steve and I took ourselves along to in support and what a night! Frome really does have some of the most unique and wonderful talent for theatre and shows like WWRY are the perfect celebration of that talent.

At the end of 2017 I was lucky enough to get some photos published in Vintage Life Magazine and in March I finally got hold of my physical copy. Whilst the photos are certainly not my best work, I am extremely pleased with what myself and my model were able to get in such a short time and I am proper proud to see my work in print. Whilst my foot was giving me issues, we got the small group back together and took to the Battle of Lansdown course again to get wet, muddy, cold (oh so very cold) and exhausted whilst having a good laugh. It was brilliant as always and later in the year we had the sister event to conquer. Lucy from work turned 30 in March and had a Disney costume party to celebrate. Jess and I decided to go as 101 Dalmatians with myself taking on the role of ‘Cruellea Dave-Vil’ and Jess the 101st Dalmatian. Jess is so good at doing make up and costumes and I think our idea went down very well.

Heading into April and Spring (probably my favourite season if you’re wondering) Steve, Emma and I (plus Buddy the dog) made the most of the rather warm weather and take a long walk all the way to Nunney, Whatley and back again. I took a week off work in March and Lamb came to visit and so, in true local pride fashion, I took her (and Jess) to Wells to see the Cathedral and City. I left uni 7 years ago and I really don’t see my Solent friends enough, but Laura and I always do try and see each other even, if it should be more regularly, and days like the one we took to Wells are so important. Amy’s Tri Art dance showcase of ‘The Golden Key’ was this month and I was lucky enough to be asked to take photos of the performance. I never really get to see live dance and this was a real treat and a genuinely pleasure to photograph; some of my favourite pictures I took this year were from that show. April was such a busy month in 2017 and regular events such as The Mells daffodil fair were coupled with exciting new celebrations with the wedding of Ben and Becky and a new arrival for my friend Craig after he became the father to a wonderful sweet young man called Fletcher. My Frome FM journey is still very much in full swing and in April we moved into what is now our permanent (and still being improved) new home and the Town Hall, it really is a stunning building and it’s great for FFM to finally feel like it belongs somewhere, especially somewhere that is such an important local landmark to the town.

Slam Dunk. I know I sound like a broken record, but truly May only means one thing and that is the best day of the music calendar for myself. Slam Dunk was another triumphant success and I already have my ticket for this year and it is with a wide smile that the South date has returned to the Saturday and at a new home. Whilst still in Hatfield the event is moving, this is exciting but I really hope the festival doesn’t lose it’s up close and personal feel that makes it so special, only time will tell… So after months and literally hundreds of applications Jess managed to secure a new job last month with the outdoor pursuit wear company ‘Orvis’ and I went to visit her at her store in Bath in May. Jess defied the odds and worked night and day to secure that job and I am beyond proud of her. She is happy and successful in her new job and I can’t tell you how amazing it is to see her land this dream role. It’s also great because I get the chance to buy lots of great practical outdoor wear too. Five months into the year and the boys and I managed to get the first poker game of 2017 up and running, we’ve somewhat dropped the ball on how many games we get together and play but when we do they are always a great night, so here’s hoping to more in 2018. This month I also went to the Cinderella awards (we didn’t take home any trophies but it was a good night) and Jess and I also took Pip and Dig, who were now like members of the family, down to Lyme Regis for the day that was just perfect.

As part of Jess’s new role at Orvis she organises free fly fishing 101 sessions and so in true support I rounded up a couple of good friends and headed over to Bath where a wonderful gentleman named Simon taught us how to cast, all about flies and other skills in fly fishing, it was brilliant and we all had a blast. My first Merlin challenge of the year came in the form of our 24-hour production that was ‘Soho Cinders’. This was a hard process but another great success for the theatre and just means that yet again we’ve set our own bar to meet with future shows. Jess has become quite the keen Muay Thai boxer and in June she took part in a boxing demonstration at the Bath Thai festival. This was a really great day but the event was on the hottest day of the year, so hot in fact that jess and the other boxers came away with blisters where the floor of the ring was so hot. Yet again though Jess did herself proud and put on a great display for young and old. A couple of party’s took place in June too where we celebrated Amy’s birthday as well as Martin’s surprise party at the Grain where we were treated to an up close show from up and coming band ‘Bad Sounds’, they’ve gone on the great things and looking at a very good future in 2018.

Despite a pretty miserable end of summer, we were treated to some scorching weather at the start of the season. To start the month of July though we celebrated Jess’s birthday and did so by going to Airhop (please go if you haven’t before, and take me and let’s play dodgeball) and then watching Despicable Me 3. I think it’s important to have a very serious and mature set of celebrations and I think Jess would agree. I had a little job in July taking photographs at the Writhlington Sports Awards evening which was actually really good fun and quite inspiring too, on the way home though I had my first ever flat tyre, but to my luck Roxy who was with me stepped up and despite being dressed all snazzy (I had a white shirt on, this was note the time to change a tyre) assisted in getting the damn thing changed. We also had the good fortune of a kind Samaritan passing who was a mechanic who offered to save us getting dirt on our finery and put Alice’s spare on, a very kind gentleman indeed and full praise to Roxy too. I’m really lucky to have the best friends surrounding me and in July a few of us took a day trip down to Portsmouth whilst the sun was still on our side and had a bit of blast on the coast. I got up to so much in July on the weekends so here goes a quick (this won’t be quick) round up; Firstly Anne encouraged myself and a few others, including Simon and Steve, to take part in the Frome Fashion Show. This might actually be one of the best things I did this year, as we (with full on nerves) strutted our stuff down the catwalk. I never thought I’d do something like that ever and all I can say now is that I can’t wait to do it again this year (if Anne will have me). Secondly The Rood Rampage, sister event to The Battle of Lansdown, took place and the same group who had beaten TBOL got even muddier and wetter running around, and through, Rood Ashton Lake. The Rampage might actually be the best running event I’ve ever taken part in and despite it falling on the same day as the Frome 10k I will 100% run it again this year, and hope that my team will join me once again. Next this month Jess, Sarah and my sister went to F.R.I.E.N.D.S fest in Cardiff which was good fun and also Steve and I took ourselves off to the Breacon Beacons for the day, which was good fun but the wettest day of the year, the rain though did mean that when we found Henrhyd Falls it was in full flow and so impressive. A real treat for Frome this summer saw Michael McIntyre come to the Merlin stage and perform a work in progress show, I was lucky enough to be in the front row and it was a very special evening indeed. Finally, in July I decided to go for my first ever audition and try for a part in ‘The Vicar of Dibley’. I was fortunate enough to land the role of ‘Hugo’ and can’t wait to take to the stage in my first piece of theatre outside of a musical.

The Kairos show of ‘It Shoulda Been You’ was starting to get real in August as we only had a matter of weeks before we had to put this show in front of an audience. It had been a great journey so far and there wasn’t long at all to go. Anyway, in August I had a couple weeks off work as the college wound down for the summer and whilst it’s lovely to shut down, I get massive cabin fever, so this year I decided I would fill my days as best as possible, so days out this year included a trip to Old Wardour castle, the Durdle Door, Dyrham park and a real highlight was the day I took myself to the Bombay Sapphire Distillery in Hampshire which was a great day out and for anyone that likes gin as much as I do, you should definitely go and treat yourself to a little hour or so there. In August there was a good meteor shower promised, and so, myself and a bunch of great friends braved the cloudy looking weather and took ourselves up to the top of Cley hill in the hope we might see something, and in true perseverance we did and it was a great evening. Great things in the town this month were the annual comic con and Ash taking to the stage at the Cheese & Grain. Jess’s new job role was in full swing and she had to travel to Scotland this month for work and whilst she did I had my troublesome foot seen to and therefore couldn’t wear any shoes for a few days, so whilst I felt sorry for myself she was off earning the beans in Banchory. August also saw the youth production of ‘Les Miserables’ at the Merlin and I cannot even express into words how good this show was, it was a showcase of pure youth talent and ultimately moving and breath taking from the young people of Frome. Another real highlight in August though was a little holiday we took with Jess’s family down to the south coast. We stayed in an air BNB on this beautiful old farm and we held a family sports day, went to the beach and they even threw me a little surprise early birthday party, speaking of which…

I turned 30 this year. 30. Now I know that’s not old, but my word it’s weird. It’s weird to still feel like I’m 22 and living the dream at uni with not a care in the world and my whole future ahead of me, but actually now I’ve hit this milestone I might not have the kids I thought I would or own a mansion and drive an Aston Martin, but you know what? I’m a very happy man, with a beautiful girlfriend, a bizarre and wonderful little cat, the best job, a fantastic life full of fun, music, theatre, football and th best friends you could ever imagine. Annual events in September of course were the cheese show and the carnival, but the biggest thing to happen this month was that we were to open ISBY at Cooper Hall and what a pleasure this was. The show got funnier every time we performed it, the music was wonderful, the venue stunning, the (sell out) audiences fantastic and I fell a little bit in love with Albert. I truly can’t get enough of the Kairos theatre group and can’t wait to see what we do next, but you’ll have to wait until 2019 to find out what that is. September is also the start of the new term at work and, as you all know, my job is one of the best things in my life and I’ve felt I’ve always evolved within work and been given exciting and new challenges and this year was no different as I was given more teaching responsibilities, this has been incredibly demanding but I am loving every second and get the chance to work with some of the best young artists, a true pleasure.

The next big Merlin challenge came in October as the autumn production of ‘Guys & Dolls’ came to the Merlin. Now we don’t often tackle a classic musical, but Director Daisy really did a marvellous job of making this show come alive. It may have been the most draining and demanding show I’ve ever worked on, but the result spoke for itself and again, The Merlin can be proud of the people that give countless hours to keep the theatre alive. This month I also got my first taste of golf again for the first time since Frome shut it’s gates, as Mr Hynds took me to Orchadleigh’s driving range, which led to a full round in November. A great gig this month was the chance to see The Rocket Summer at the Fleece where Bryce played the whole of ‘Do you Feel’ in full. For Halloween this year too, I decided to go to the party as Alan Partridge in full ‘Zombie’ wear. Nobody actually got the costume, but I was pretty pleased with myself.

4 years I’ve been lucky enough to be with Jess and to celebrate Jess booked us a nice weekend away across the border in Wiltshire visit the STEAM museum and getting outside over a lovely hill fort. If there’s one thing that tells you someone’s a keeper it’s that they get that you’ll love a trip up a grassy knoll and around a museum all about trains. As said last month I tried the driving range and in November I played my first round of golf in an age. I was a touch rusty to say the least, but it was brilliant to get back out on the course. This month saw the rehearsal process for The Vicar of Dibley pick up pace as well as a great gig at the Komedia in Bath to see Deaf Havana on their tour of ‘All These Countless Nights’.

So December. My last gig of the year was a trip back to one of my favourite venues, the Joiner sin Southampton to see Ryan Key of Yellowcard perform a solo show as well as a band new to myself, Normandie, play a great set. The main reason to be there though was to see Grumble Bee, a wicked solo project from the nicest man called Jack, I implore you to check him out and I’m sure you’ll like his music. Outside of the usual Christmas antics, December saw a nice birthday night out for Davey, Jason Manford took to the Grain stage in what was probably the best stand up I’ve seen live and I went to my first professional panto to see Aladdin at the Hippodrome in Bristol. December also always means the Christmas musical at my second home of the Merlin and this year we put on another original script in the form of ‘Hansel & Gretel’. It was a fantastic show and yet again there were some really unique set pieces and outstanding performances, including some beautiful contemporary dance from Amy’s Tri Art performances, that despite being so young, put on some stunning examples of live dance theatre that many in the audience would never have seen before, the future really is bright for the young cast and performers of the Merlin Theatre trust me, names like Patrick Withey, Conny Hunter, Georgie Rose, Cordelia Tarbrooke and Dylan Berry (to name only but a few) are sure to be regular features in our programmes and who knows, the West End some day…

It’s safe to say that 2017 has been a blast. I’ve done some wonderful things and have so much to be thankful for. I’m loving still being part of Frome FM, I spend most of my days giving all I can for the Merlin, I’m enjoying my football again as we’ve moved away from the horror that is the pitch at the Frome sports centre and I’m still loving my work. 2018 has a lot to compete with but there are still lots to look forward to.  I’ll start the year the same way and go and see Seaway live, with lots of other gigs including, Don Broco, Lower than Atlantis, Tonight Alive, With Confidence, The Gospel Youth and of course Slam Dunk coupled with tickets to go to a night with Brian Blessed too. For Christmas Brillo got the family tickets to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and I’ve got lots of things from the Merlin to work on including opening The Vicar of Dibley in February and I can’t wait to see ‘Saviour by the Amethyst’. Personally I’d like to take myself to the Edinburgh Festival this year, compete in a stack of running races and get as many little breaks away with Jess as I can. I’ve had a great year and I can’t wait to see what this one brings, so right now I’m going to finish watching the PDC darts final (come on Cross!) and bid you all a very happy new year

//

Album of the Year // Deaf Havana – All these Countless Nights (It’s a masterpiece)

Movie of the Year // Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Other highlights included Get Out, Lego batman and The Greatest Showman

Game of the Year: Tom Clancy’s: Ghost Recon Wildlands. Not the most polished of games, but a total blast none the less

//

[peacefulheartfarm]

Cheese Makes You Happy!

The topic for today is how cheese makes you happy! That's right. There is evidence that the nutrition in cheese can actually affect your mood among other things. I'm pleased to bring you this great news today!

Today’s Show

Homestead Life Updates

Cheese and Nutrition

Nutritional content

Cheese tastes good

Facts about fat content

Lactose intolerance

Why cheese makes people happy

Cheese Fondue Recipe

Homestead Life Updates

Scott is working hard on getting the creamery built. Every day that does not bring adverse weather sees him out there building the walls. There are also lots of other odds and ends and details he adds in there that breaks up the monotony. I’m am so blessed to have such a wonderful life here with him. Our life has purpose and meaning as we both work hard to bring you the benefits of traditional hand-made artisan cheese.

The winter drags on. Seems like a long one this year doesn’t it? Every year winter is the same 13 weeks on the calendar but the weather conditions during that period of time alters our perception of time, I think.

There is a common winter ailment called seasonal affective disorder. I’m sure some of you know of what I speak. It’s a type of depression that’s related to changes in the seasons. Symptoms can begin as early as the fall and continue into the winter months. Occasionally, SAD causes depression into the spring or early summer, but that is rarer. Spring usually brings a rush of relief.

I experience SAD every year. This year is different. I’ve significantly changed my diet and it shows. While I can still feel the effects of this winter season, it is muted compared to previous years. I feel kind of heavy sometimes; slightly weighted down by life in general.

As an aside, I generally just suffer through it. However, there are things you can do. Light therapy or phototherapy is the most common treatment. Some schools of thought attribute the issue to reduced vitamin D from the sun as there is less light due to the length of the day.  More severe cases may require medication or psychotherapy.

The symptoms may start as a minor issue such as having trouble sleeping or a general loss of interest in doing anything. Low energy, feeling sluggish or maybe agitated for no reason. As the season progresses, the symptoms get worse and worse. In the past it has seemed overwhelming to me. And then, poof, spring arrives and it all evaporates like mist.

Let’s talk about how cheese might help with that. Did you know that cheese has nutritional properties that stimulate our happy hormones? First, let’s cover the basic nutrition in cheese.

Cheese and Nutrition

Cheese is a delicious and tremendously efficient source of nutrition. It supplies many valuable nutrients, including proteins, sugars, vitamins, minerals, and trace elements. A 4-ounce piece of solid farmhouse cheese, for example, supplies more than half the adult nutritional requirements for protein, fat, calcium, and phosphorus as well as significant portions of vitamins A, B2, and B12. If you compare the nutritional content of a 3.5-ounce chunk of a hard, aged cheese such as Cheddar or Emmental to an equivalent amount of chicken eggs (two eggs are about 3.5 ounces), the cheese contains about twice as much protein and one quarter the cholesterol.

The miracle of evolution has ensured that milk is an extremely nutritious food. After all, without it how would mothers, down through the eons, have guaranteed the survival of their babies? Cheese concentrates the nutrients in milk. It’s a highly efficient method of getting vital nutrients for our bodies.

Another advantage to cheese is that its nutrients are “predigested” by bacteria and enzymes during cheesemaking and aging. That means the process of breaking down the proteins, fats, and sugars began before it was savored on our palette and began the journey to our tummy.

Plants in the pasture have absorbed nutrients from the soil; the dairy animals have extracted those nutrients, packaging them in the form of milk. That’s another place that a lot of gathering nutrients has already been done for you. Your body has to devote less effort to processing cheese than it does with many other comparably nutritious foods.

Cheese Tastes Good

Cheese tastes good and satisfies us. A big reason for that is the fat. There are beneficial fats available in milk. Many of them work as antioxidants and also provide fat-soluble vitamins good for our skin and other organs. In cheese, milk fats undergo lipolysis, which breaks them down into more easily absorbed and beneficial fatty acids, some of which in turn enable us to metabolize the fats from other foods.

CLA

Cheeses, especially those made from the milk of grass-fed animals, are a good source of conjugated linoleic acid, or CLA, a highly beneficial nutrient. In small studies involving animals, CLA has been shown to prevent heart disease and several types of cancer. It also appears to enhance the immune system.  CLA is considered a fat-reducing fat. You heard that right. There are studies on this. Let me give you some info from one study. I’ll put a link in the show notes.

Jean-Michel Gaullier, PhD with the Scandinavian Clinical Research Group did the study. It was a relatively small number of participants. 180 men and women were followed for a year. A third got a typical off-the-shelf pill of 80% CLA. Another third got a 76% CLA syrup formula, disguised in a capsule. The last third took a placebo capsule of olive oil.

No one had to change their diet or exercise habits. All reduced their calorie intake a little bit during the study. Likely that was due to tracking with a food diary. That can really wake you up to what you are actually consuming. As far as exercise, all got about the same amount.

The results were:

Both CLA groups lost weight – about 4 pounds; the placebo group stayed the same.

The CLA syrup group had a 9% body fat loss; the CLA pill group had 7% body fat loss; the placebo group had no body fat loss.

Both CLA groups had similar improvements in muscle mass.

Good news ay? Losing weight was good, but I found the conversion of fat to muscle mass to be the most interesting to me.

CLA is found naturally in beef, lamb, goat and dairy products.

Facts About Fat Content

Because cheese contains fat, naturally, it raises concerns. There are some valid concerns there. Not for the fat, but for the calories. A little bit of cheese goes a long way. Real cheese delivers a lot of nutritional bang for your buck and a lot of caloric bang for your buck. The fat is the culprit there. The key is to eat moderate amounts along with your other dietary choices. Let’s talk about the fat content of various cheeses.

Contrary to appearances, hard, grainy cheeses such as Parmesan may actually contain more fat than creamy, luxurious ones such as any triple cream cheese. The rich triple cream types are labeled “75% butterfat” while a Parmigiana–Reggiano claims around 35% butterfat. The trick is that cheeses are labeled by percentage of fat in their solid materials, not in their total weight.

Cheeses retain water, even after much of it is extracted during cheesemaking. The less water a cheese retains, the harder or denser it will be. A dense cheese with, say, 50% butterfat, could actually deliver more fat per serving than a soft, gooey one with 70% butterfat.

Lactose Intolerance

Let’s talk about lactose intolerance. Well–made, aged cheeses are actually one of the few dairy products that will not cause problems for many people with this difficulty. The first and most important step of cheesemaking, alongside protein coagulation, is the conversion of lactose into lactic acid – the souring or fermentation action of lactic acid bacteria on milk. The small amount of lactose left over after active cheesemaking ends is further broken down by glycolysis during aging.

What this means is that for people who have trouble digesting lactose, it’s not a problem because the digestion has already been done for them by the cheesemaking and aging process. Give it a try. You, too, can be a happy cheese eater. Speaking of cheese making your happy. Why is that?

Why cheese makes people happy

A wonderful piece of info I ran across wherein a neurologist talks about how cheese literally makes you happy. Dr. Thomas C Morell is the neurologist. Link to the article will be in the show notes. The title of the piece is Nutritional Neuroscience. The central core of the article is using nutrition to help heal TBI or traumatic brain injury.

There is some really good information about how the brain functions along with how and why nutrition is important to maximize brain function. Later in the article he gets specifically to cheese as “the first food that will help your brain.” He cites cheese as an extraordinarily rich source of proteins and amino acids. One of those amino acids is Tyrosine. Dr. Morell’s comments on the relation of tyrosine to neurotransmitters in the brain are noted in the article.

Some quotes from the article: (again, reference in the show notes) “The body does not produce Tyrosine so it must be obtained from outside sources, of which cheese contains very high concentrations. We quickly began to realize that cheese is one of nature's perfect foods for the body and for brain functioning! Furthermore, the pleasure of eating cheese in its multitude of varieties is not just for the sensuous pleasure of taste and smell, but actually has nutritional importance that will help the neurotransmitters in your brain. Cheese not only supplies calories for metabolism as well as being an excellent source of Calcium, but contains proteins and amino acids that are intricately associated with manufacturing many important brain chemicals.”

Then he talks about how cheese makes people happy.

“Cheese can make people happy. Why? It starts with Tyrosine which is a building block for many of the neurotransmitter chemicals in the brain. It can improve mood and well-being particularly during times of stress. Tyrosine is a substrate of many well-known neurotransmitters including adrenaline, norepinephrine, and dopamine. Cheese may be one of the basic primordial foods that improved the performance of our brain, with deep connections from the olfactory bulb to the parts of our brain responsible for memory and emotions. Cheese may just be the perfect food to capture the nutritional-emotional duality that our bodies and brains need!”

I find it so refreshing that our medical profession is starting to look at food as nutrition for building, maintaining, and healing the body.

“Cheese contains high levels of casein which is the primary protein found in milk. As casein is broken down and digested it is converted into Tyrosine. Casein is also broken down into the chemical casomorphin, an opioid molecule in the same family as morphine. This may explain some of cheese's addicting qualities!”

I can relate to the addicting quality of cheese. As my diet has improved, my urge for eating too much food is strongly diminished. However, once I start eating cheese, I may overeat if I don’t pay attention.

“There are many receptors for the Tyrosine molecule in the olfactory bulb where our sense of smell courses through the Central Nervous System. The Tyrosine in cheese is broken down into several chemicals. One of them is epinephrine (adrenaline) which has many positive physical and mental effects to make us more alert. Epinephrine also increases the flow of oxygen and glucose to the brain and muscles which elicits the "Fight or Flight" response to stressful or dangerous situations. Norepinephrine helps fight off depression and can improve our attention and concentration skills. Dopamine is a powerful neurotransmitter involved in mood stability and accounts for pleasurable feelings and activation of the brain's reward systems. Tyrosine is also a precursor to levodopa which is used to replace deficiency of Dopamine in Parkinson's disease. Finally, Tyrosine is also a precursor to Melatonin, the skin pigment that protects us from ultraviolet sunlight damage but is also associated with insulin production which regulates blood sugar levels.”

How perfect is cheese? It makes you feel good with the neurotransmitter action and supplies energy and protein. All are critical for brain performance and memory retention.

As a final note on the topic, have you ever wondered what those little crunchy pockets that develop in the paste of well-made aged cheeses are? Those are crystals of tyrosine embedded in the long chains of amino acids of the casein molecules. When they make your mouth water, they are not only providing cheese eating pleasure but they’re also setting into motion a series of very real and tangible benefits to your body and brain.

Let’s move on to today’s cheese fondue recipe.

Cheese Fondue Recipe

Cheese fondue can be fancy or it can be a quaint and close tradition in any family or group of friends. As an added bonus, it’s easy to make. The only skill needed is the ability to stand at a stove and stir.

Cheese fondue is a Swiss invention which became popular in the US in the 1960’s. I’m looking to revive that tradition. As its core fondue is melted cheese served in a pot over a portable heating device and enjoyed communally. It can be made with or without the official fondue set. A double boiler set up will work just fine. Using a crock pot is also an option. The key is low, slow heat. Add some wooden skewers and your homemade fondue set is complete.

How to Make the Perfect Cheese Fondue at Home

The perfect cheese fondue is rich and smooth. First, I want to go over a few tips to make it easy for that to happen for you. Stick to them and your family and guests will be transported to the Alps from their first bite.

Use Good-Quality Cheese. It will be more expensive but worth it. Even if you ignore all of the other tips, keep this one. Fondue truly is all about the cheese, and the quality and types of cheeses you use will have an enormous impact on the final product.

For classic Swiss cheese fondue (meaning one like what you would find in Switzerland), a mix of traditional, firm alpine mountain-style cheeses is best. Gruyere and Emmental come to mind.

We make a cheese called Pinnacle that will serve you well. There are lots of other cheeses that will also work. No need to be bound by the “Swiss” label.

You want a buttery, creamy cheese that melts smoothly. Cheddar cheese would work. Even though the flavor would be less traditional, it would still taste fantastic. I’ve used our Clau d’ ville Cheddar mixed with alpine-style Pinnacle and the blend warms the heart.

Grate – do not chop – the Cheese. Grated cheese will melt much quicker.

Toss the Cheese with Cornstarch Thoroughly. Cornstarch helps thicken the fondue and prevents the cheese from clumping. You don’t want lumpy cheese!

Classic cheese fondue does call for white wine. Use a good wine. Choose something dry and high acid, such as Sauvignon Blanc.

The taste of the wine directly impacts the taste of the fondue. The acid in the wine helps keep the cheese smooth and gives it an even texture. Again, we don’t want lumpy fondue.

You can substitute unsalted chicken or vegetable stock if you do not want to use wine.

For beer cheese fondue, swap out the wine with your favorite beer. Beer works really well in a cheddar cheese fondue.

Add the Cheese Slowly and Stir Constantly. This is SO important to make sure the cheese fondue is buttery smooth.

Grab a small handful and sprinkle it into the pot. Stir constantly and wait for each addition to melt before adding the next.

Don’t try to rush it—you won’t win. Just enjoy the moment at the stove at peace with yourself, the cheese, and the promise of a luscious fondue.

What Should You Dip?

Bread. Always delicious. French or sourdough cut into 1-inch cubes so that it can be easily skewered.

Apples. Tart apples like Granny Smith are fantastic dipped with cheese fondue. Cut the apples into cubes.

Cherry Tomatoes. One of my absolute favorites!

Roasted Baby Potatoes.

Steamed Broccoli. Reminds me of broccoli cheese soup.

Mushrooms

Game Day Delights:

Potato or tortilla chips

Soft or hard pretzels

Ham, Turkey or Beef

Bacon. Even better than you think it’s going to taste. Make sure the bacon isn’t  too crisp or it will break off in the pot.

Shrimp or mussels

Kielbasa or hot dogs

Pepperoni

Meatballs

Pickles.

The choices are up to you. There are no rules there. Anything that tastes good with cheese it going to be heaven. It takes about 25 minutes to make the fondue.

What You Need

1 pound (4 cups) of 2 or more cheeses of your choice – Gruyere, Emmental, Appenzeller and of course our Pinnacle

2 tablespoons cornstarch

1 cup dry white wine — such as Sauvignon Blanc

1 clove garlic — minced

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

1 tablespoon kirsch – Kirsch is a clear colorless fruit brandy. You may substitute a brandy of your choice

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg – ground

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard (optional)

Assorted Fondue dippers

What to do

Grate all of the cheeses. In a medium bowl, combine the cheeses with the cornstarch, tossing thoroughly to coat all pieces.

In a stove-safe fondue pot or large heavy saucepan, bring the wine, garlic, and lemon juice to a simmer over medium-low heat. Add the cheeses to the simmering liquid a little at a time, stirring well between each addition to ensure a smooth fondue. Once smooth, stir in the brandy, nutmeg, and mustard.

Arrange an assortment of bite-size dipping foods on a platter. Carefully pour the fondue into a fondue pot. Serve with fondue forks or wooden skewers.

Dip and enjoy!

Recipe Notes:

If using a crock pot, no need to wait for the wine and lemon to simmer. Put it all in there and stir as needed until the desired consistency is achieved.

Final Thoughts

I’ve run out of words for today. I hope if you have the winter blues you are taking time out of the day to pamper yourself. And remember, this too shall pass. Enjoy some cheese to get that tyrosine going and get happy.

I hope you’ll try the fondue. You can let me know what creative ideas you used and traditions you started by commenting on the Facebook post @peacefulheartfarm.

As always, I’m here to help you “taste the traditional touch.”

Thank you so much for listening and until next time, may God fill your life with grace and peace.

Recipe Link

Cheese Fondue

References

CLA: The New Miracle Weight Loss Pill?

Nutritional Neuroscience – Dr. Thomas C. Morell

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