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kneelingshadowsalome · 1 year ago

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OK, I know you just re-opened ur asks (but please take a break if you need it!!) But the thought of Girl dad König has plagued my mind ever since that one post.

He's super protective. He's one of those "you're not dating until you're 35" or "I know how boys are like. They only want you for one thing," dads 🙄.

Any boy his daughter manages to bring around will only be threatened. König will accidentally drop one of the largest knives from his collection right in front of her boyfriend and be like "oops🙂".

Speaking of knives, all of his weapons will be stored away once his daughter is born. He doesn't want to risk her finding them and hurting herself.

Gosh. Girl dad!König is every fuckboy’s nightmare!

Manages to chase away even the good guys, every boy his daughter braves to bring home is a no-go for him. A bunch of losers and wankers, all of them, and after his pretty girl! Psh.

You could be kinder than Tom Hiddleston and you still wouldn’t be considered worthy of dating König’s daughter. Every candidate is sent home with their tail between their legs after an awkward, cold family dinner and a bunch of questions that feel like an interview. Or an interrogation... You desperately try to treat these boys with some level of respect, curiosity and warmth – to be honest they appear far more gentle and emotionally available than, ahem, certain someone you dated back in the day when he was not yet a Colonel.

And the father-daughter relationship is fucked up in more ways than one, because König tries to fix his emotional issues and the fact that he’s away most of the time by getting his daughter anything she needs. She wants to try ballet when she’s six? She gets the cutest pink princess tutu skirt and pointe shoes money can buy. Oh, now she’s into horseback riding? Suddenly she has private lessons with the best teacher in town, dons 500 e leather boots, a nice little riding crop and a test winner helmet + gets anything else she can dream of when tending to the horses. (You had to actively stop König from buying her a horse when she was 10)

Cello classes, gaming PC’s, downhill ski equipment, expensive yoga retreats – daddy's girl gets it all because König has to spoil her to bits. Not that he actively tries to carve out a brat of her by this princess treatment: he just wants his girl to have access to anything she wants. His Vögelchen is so talented in everything she picks up!

König shows pics of his daughter to his colleagues: look, she learned to swim when they were on vacation in Maldives! And look, here she won the local stable’s jumping competition, isn't she amazing? Now she’s into archery, and has her own recurve bow, but lately she’s started to get interested in boys, and you know what that means… Curfews, screen time and more chores! And NO BOYS.

She’s “only” 19, and comes home drunk once, brought by some young clown who, in König’s mind, tries to evade responsibility by giving him a sob story about how he only wanted to bring his daughter home because he was worried about her and well, actually, he’s in love with her… She’s a good girl and he wants to take care of her, he really appreciates her and blablabla, König is not impressed. That boy gets himself an earful as a reward, he's lucky König doesn’t slam a knife on the hood of that car.

(....No one has the courage to tell dad König that her daughter likes to smoke weed with the bad boys and dates some older biker guy from big city :”)

#girl dad König #another menace this one

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jodjuya · 8 months ago

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I'm officially a hater. Every Halo game since the very first one is full of bullshit.

My many problems with Halo 4, as I experience them:

FOUR VIDEO GAMES IN A SERIES! FOUR DIFFERENT CONTROLLER MAPPINGS!!! MICROSOFT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???

What is the compass needle even pointing to on 117's assault rifle? we're adrift in open space...

WHY ARE THERE MOTHERFUCKING QUICK TIME EVENTS IN THIS GAME? FUCK YOU!

"these Covenant seem more fanatical than the ones we've fought before" - how the fuck can you tell??

Why did they give Cortana baby-face and big tits?? Pick a direction, Microsoft!! She can be prepubescent or postpubescent but not both of them simultaneously!

Why am I supposed to feel any sort of emotional attachment to Cortana anyway? She's just a Microsoft Clippy with blue boobs stuck on 🙄

"I'm the only AI generated from a clone" I'm vibrating with rage at how goddamn stupid that is.

I THINK YOU LITERALLY HAVE MORE PRESSING PROBLEMS THAN RETURNING TO HALSEY TO FACTORY-RESET YOUR AI WAIFU, MASTER CHIEF! YOU ARE EVADING HOSTILE ALIEN FORCES ON A RANDOM PLANET GOD KNOWS WHERE! JUST GET A NEW AI WAIFU WHEN YOU GET HOME! FUCK

"[Unknown alien transmission]'s behaviour is odd!" - how the fuck do you know that Cortana??? This is your first time encountering this transmission, how do you know it's not supposed to be like that?

Maybe the reason all these aliens are so hostile to you, Master Chief, is because the very first guy you saw you punched in the jaw and threw down an elevator shaft! Would it kill you to just try saying "hello" first?

Lmfao @ Cortana calling out the Chief for the exact same thing literally seconds later

"Requiem! At least we know where we are now!" - my guy you have no fucking idea where you are

WHY THE FUCK DOES HALO HAVE CINEMATIC 3RD-PERSON MELEE ATTACKS NOW?! JUST CLOBBER THE FUCKING GUY AND MOVE ON!

This is something I really disliked in Halo 3 too, but those invisible barriers that hard block you from taking vehicles indoors, even if you do manage to scrape them past the non-invisible barriers. Let me drive a Ghost indoors!

Why can't they maintain my weapon loadout on either side of a cutscene? Halo 3 handled this really well.

But here in Halo 4 I take my lovely SAW and my lovely Fuel-Rod Cannon into a cutscene and come back out of it with an assault rifle and pistol. 😒😒😒

• Seriously, why does Cortana have the face of a nine year old child and the body of a twenty-nine year old woman?! Am I taking fucking crazy pills here??

I can forgive video game developers being horny, but not when it's this gratuitously bullshit

(and the voice of a 59 year old woman, going by the game's opening cutscene of Dr Eugenics' interrogation lmao)

The new forerunner enemies are cool enough, but it really feels like they copied Borderlands' homework with their design.

Why is Cortana so blithely confident with all her info-dumping about these random alien creatures she's never seen before in her damn life? And why is master chief taking anything she says seriously when he knows she's going through AI-Alzheimer's???

The Didact is bullshit. Who the fuck is this guy? why does he call himself a "Forerunner" when that's 'our' word for them? and how does he indentify us as "human"? Also why's he so mad at us for freeing him? This is all so very stupid.

Wow. ANOTHER escape sequence involving driving fast through some exploding superstructure? Come on, Microsoft, it's all very well and good to rest on your laurels but this is just masturbating with them... I swear to you on my mother's life that having an original idea isn't nearly as painful as you seem to think it might be...

Even more being stripped of my good weapons and reset back to basic bitch assault rifle + handgun

"the greatest enemy ever faced by the forerunners: you" - bitch you've been extinct for like 100,000 years what the fuck are you even talking about???

"the Prometheans, they're human" what the fuck are you even talking about?? Who the fuck are the Prometheans??

Genesong, evolutionary acceleration, thousands of lifetimes' worth of planning? What in the flying fuck is all this nonsense? When and why did Halo become "What If Star Trek Was About Using The Power Of Friendship To Kill God"?!

Look, Microsoft, this shit isn't fucking rocket science. I shouldn't have to take an undergraduate degree in Halology to understand the fucking story of a video game. I shouldn't have to go read god knows how fucking many spin-off novels there are just to know basic facts about your game like who in the flying fuck are all these goddamn Elder God alien species you're name-dropping. I should just play the game and have knowledge of the game from playing the fucking game. Jesus fucking christ pull your head out of your arse and stop jerking yourself off and start making some goddamn sense!!

Why can this Space Orc Big Bad use The Force like Darth Vader anyhow??

Why is defeating Space Orc Big Bad a fucking quicktime event???

Lol get vaporised, idiot

Why was nuking his spaceship another quicktime event? Just make the whole thing a cutscene, christ 🙄

Master Chief finally makes it to The Waifu Dimension (via nuclear bomb?????) and his first thought is "how do I escape from here?" instead of "oh cool I can finally kiss my holographic waifu"

And now he's just, like, chilling out in orbit around earth, perfectly fine and unharmed?? after setting off a nuclear bomb in his lap with his own two hands?????

Hey, so why was I fighting digi-struct robots for the entire back-half of this game anyway? Isn't Halo supposed to be about fighting The Covenant and The Flood?? 😒

Also, didn't the Covenant have an internal schism/civil war last game?? Like, that was the whole plot of the whole game. Why are the Elites back in the Covenant again; are we just not going to bother with explaining that?

Holy fuck I hate this fucking game. Really glad I only paid seven bucks for it.

Things I liked about Halo 4:

It looks pretty

No more dual-wielding. Fun concept, sure, but it made the games' control scheme fucked to shit. Really felt like Bungie made all of the enemies into utterly gratuitous damage-sponges to compensate for MC's higher DPS too, and that sucked.

The weapon rebalancing, in general. The new Needler kicks ass.

No more dragging around a giant posse of allies with me everywhere. I feel like that was another big contributor to the enemies needing to be so heavily-buffed with sponginess.

Really glad the Brutes aren't in this game. Those guys were the fucking worst.

The items from Halo 3 were mostly useless and just served to clutter up the game. Forgot they were there most of the time, and kept activating them by accident when trying to reload. Glad to see they've been fucked off/heavily retooled. The new active-camo gadget is useful and fun without being overpowered; I really like how well they've balanced it. All of the other gadgets are fairly middling though.

The new machine gun is great! (SURE WOULD BE NICE IF I WAS ABLE TO KEEP IT FOR MORE THAN HALF OF ONE LEVEL THOUGH)

I laughed when I saw a grunt sprinting at my Ghost with a lit grenade in each hand. Some real Serious-Sam-type nonsense right there 😂

Stomping around in the Mantis mech was extremely fun

The sticky-bomb handgun was pretty fun.

Final verdict: Microwaved Slop.

I'll eat it if I'm hungry enough, but I won't enjoy it.

#Halo 4 #jodjuyas video game reviews

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cum-villain · 2 years ago

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I posted 18,560 times in 2022

That's 13,291 more posts than 2021!

1,921 posts created (10%)

16,639 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@piosplayhouse

@queerautism

@vaspider

@eroticcannibal

@yharnamsnewslug

I tagged 18,534 of my posts in 2022

#braincell.reblog - 16,489 posts

#svsss - 1,533 posts

#braincell posting - 1,430 posts

#shen qingqiu - 736 posts

#mdzs - 697 posts

#fe3h - 617 posts

#oh look an ask - 567 posts

#luo binghe - 457 posts

#shang qinghua - 395 posts

#sk8 - 371 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#before someone says its a rich people thing we saved for like half a year to buy it for his birthday last year and its saved money on bread

My Top Posts in 2022:

"What is the meaning of life if not love" um giving me a hundred dollars 🙄

1,392 notes - Posted March 4, 2022

Again. What is happening in every country everywhere.

1,758 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

No but imagine being sqq. You dig yourself out of dirt, introduce yourself as a dick joke, get captured by your disciple who wants to kill you oh no he must be ace oH NO hes been gay for you the whole time, watch your corpse that he's definitely slept with literally, possibly figuratively, be tossed around in a game of hot potato, barely escape by being kidnapped by a snake guy who wants to bring you to hell, and only manage to evade him by going to a brothel and listening to a song about you and your disciple fucking. You have not come to terms with the fact you like your disciple back and are caught up in the tragedy he doesnt have 600 wives. This is only half a volume and happens over the span of a week.

1,872 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

Shang Qinghua is like. He's God. He has the personality of a hamster. He's gay for his boss. His boss is an OC he created that, in courting God, has almost killed God. He can write 10k words in a day and it's shitty porn. His greatest fan is also his greatest anti. He died because he spilled ramen noodles and apparently has the luck of a hamster.

2,240 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Anyways the queer community isn't just what's on the internet. You'll find transgender people who call themselves transsexuals because that's what they called themselves 40 years ago, you'll find bisexual women who have been in the lesbian community since before bisexual women were forced to make their own community, you'll find gay men who call themselves femmes, you'll find trans women who were drag queens for decades before calling themselves trans women (and still are drag queens). The queer community is big and colourful and beautiful and doesn't have set boxes, and it never should.

21,639 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #braincell posting

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ficklepenguin · 2 years ago

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my roommate and i have been doing the halloween event in phasmo, even though we had never played on nightmare before (too scared)

we had a plan: go in, keep our sanity high enough that the ghost can't hunt us (hoping we didn't run into any demons), gather the candy, light the lanterns, then sit in the dark with a smudge stick and a camera and wait for the ghost to do something.

we have been struggling SO MUCH, but not for the reasons we expected. ghosts just aren't hunting us!! the other day, we had a yokai and we were NOT being quiet, but it barely did anything besides throw some stuff at us. we had to use the voodoo doll to trigger a hunt to get the photo, which we died for since my roommate accidentally lit the smudge sticks early and since the yokai couldn't hear us talking it took ages to get to us and we didn't have back up smudges, but we got it.

on another map, we had a moroi who just refused to hunt us. we were in there for 30 minutes!! we had found the candies and the pumpkins pretty quick so most of that was just waiting around for a hunt. we tried to gather evidence honestly just to pass the time, since we originally were just like "we're only taking what we need to keep sanity high and evade the ghost and cameras" but it wasn't giving us anything. i don't think we collected a single piece of evidence. we had a summoning circle, so eventually we just went down there with a candle and lit it up, then smudged it and ran away (after snapping a photo, obviously). i couldn't really hear the footsteps, so i guessed myling, but it was a moroi. i guess it never got close enough to us.

then we had a deo on camp woodwind (my favorite map, by the way, LOVE it) that gave us.... NO EVIDENCE! again! stubborn ghosts!! we finally got lucky, though, and it manifested in an event directly in front of my roommate, who had the camera (while I was running around with an emf reader just trying to find any sign that this place was even haunted!!!), so we just left after that. I was literally like, why were we so afraid of nightmare again? the only time we died was to the yokai, because he accidentally set the smudges off early.

after that, we decided to do a quick amateur just to get the daily "identify the ghost" challenge, since we hadn't gotten ANY EVIDENCE FROM THE OTHER GHOSTS.

it was a demon. it hunted us as soon as the setup timer ended, we were near the front door and it shut with no sign of the ghost. we were like "wtf is this a hunt?" and ran and hid. after it ended, i went to turn the breaker back on, my roommate went out to the truck for a photo cam.

it did a ghost event that startled me while I was headed towards the breaker and my roommate asked "is it hunting again?" (he saw activity was at a 10) and I said "no it was just a stupid ghost event" and then the front door slammed as my roommate approached, and he was like "now it's definitely hunting".

I ran and hid again, we had only had one evidence so far (fingerprints), and I didn't know what my sanity was at. when the hunt ended, I just walked out like "it's a fucking demon I don't even care let's get out of here" and my roommate was like "yeah I took sanity pills while I was in the truck so the average sanity was 85 when it started that hunt" and wow guess what, you'll never believe it, it was a demon.

i love this game, honestly. "it won't be that hard to get a ghost photo on nightmare, even if we have to die for it, it'll still count for the challenge so whatever!" that turned out to be a lie, the ghosts are all so shy and passive, i thought they were shades. "let's do a quick amateur for a safe, easy identify." gets hunted twice in one minute. demons 🙄

#penguin rambles #phasmophobia #i love this game so much #i'm just glad i am getting better at surviving hunts #with that yokai i had just given up tbh #i snapped the photo while it was killing my roommate and then just watched it come over to kill me #long post #ish i guess #also i'm a fan of having someone outside of the house while a hunt is happening #i am very bad at knowing how much time has passed #i waited for like 3 minutes for a 50 second hunt to end in an earlier game #but he told me as soon as it was safe #i know you can check light switches during a hunt to see if it's still hunting but like hell i'm gonna leave my hiding spot #i'm still a scaredy coward okay

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aerynnn · 3 years ago

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Been playing DBD on-and-off for the past week or so? And I've been enjoying it! More things I can tell you:

I am a terrible Killer. It took me entirely too long to sacrifice the bot Survivors in the tutorial so I'm taking that as a sign that I'd probably make a terrible real Killer on an actual map. 😂😂😂

I have not gotten the full hang of Looping, yet. (Anyone who cares to throw some tips my way, it would be super rad. 🙏

Ran into more PC/computer players this past Sunday! Yeeeeah! 👋👏👏👏

The best Trial by far this past week was on Sunday on the RPD map with a Huntress who either got fed up chasing the last two Survivors (one of them being my friend who I was spectating because my sorry dumb ass got dead hooked fairly quickly this time 😅) OR the Huntress just took pity on them because they'd been evading her pretty well but could not find the Gennies.

IDK what, but at some point she started getting them with her hatchet, picking them up letting them wiggle free and/or recover/heal but drop them on a generator and just wack the gennie repeatedly. She did this once or twice? And on the second time, it finally dawned on us what she was doing and we started cracking up because it was like Nimrods! Do! Your fucking! Jobs!

I have tears streaming down my face because I'm laughing so hard and my friend is all, "Ok, I get the hint, Miss Huntress Ma'am. I'll do my job." My friend and the remaining Survivor (Feng Min) get the rest of the Gennies, get the exit gates open, and just before they escape Feng Min drops her Tool Kit at the feet of the Huntress and crouches repeatedly as a thank you before picking it up and leaving.

It was spectacular and I said so in the chat at the end of the Trial. 🤣🤣🤣

A couple of the dumbest things I did this past week:

Run right into Killers. 🙄🙄🙄😅😂

My favorite dumb thing I did, though, was fall for a Nightmare’s mind game. 🤣 99% sure the person playing the Nightmare followed me right to the locker I hid in, but turned and back up enough so that my Spine Chill and their Terror Radius didn’t go off because as soon as I stepped out of the locker, bam! They come out of their invisibility and there they are across the clearing of wheat bales. I start cracking. the hell. up. because I cannot believe I fell for that! Yet, I book it anyway, STILL LMAO because, really, it’s fucking funny. No surprise that the Nightmare gets me, and I’m still laughing while on the hook. 😂😂😂

Previously on Aeryn’s Adventures in DBD

#*text post.#dead by daylight #dbd #aeryn's adventures in dbd

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