#Especially when they do one of those things I don't like

[omgfangirlland]

The Shadows That Nurture 15

Don't really have anything to say 🫠 thank y'all for the attention, for reading etc, ch 16 is done, ch 17 may take longer cuz I think I'm catching a cold so uhhh- enjoy and stay safe!

Masterlist || First || previous<< Chapter 15 >>next

Jason was having a terrible week, starting with Ms. ��I wouldn’t have been as forgiving if you didn’t die and came back kinder to me” Wayne- well- Grayson? He doesn’t know anymore- he’s close enough to just forging papers that say you’re his biological little sister just to fuck with Bruce.

Speaking of- Jason hasn’t turned on his coms and the phone specifically for the bats since the night the family found out. He’s seriously debating throwing those devices out the window, but he finds it more entertaining how everyone is in shambles.

Granted, while the others have tried cornering him to- politely ask questions- Jason is more paranoid about Damian and Cassandra. Cassandra not speaking wasn’t something he worried about, but her not texting him nonsense throughout the day made him antsy. Adding to that the fact that the demon brat didn’t even try to knife him down once? Yeah, no, Jason was on edge. Either those two were planning something or they knew something the others didn’t- frankly, he didn’t like either option.

He and the other rogues have been upping the attack on the rich to try and exhaust the bats, take their attention from you- but with each attack the bats seemed to care less and less. And if they did show up, they were starting to punch harder, to break more bones, to use those “only when necessary” blades more and more. They were getting angrier, desperate, and dangerous.

Good. It was about time they saw what they’d been pushing to the side, what they all did at one point. However, Red Hood was getting angrier at the pure audacity they had to just snoop around his turf every 13th of the month, they’ve been doing it for a while, sure, but they got sloppier with their stealth. It was making everyone nervous, the kids especially.

And now the gall of him to show up as Bruce Wayne, with that blasted fake smile, and that sweet, sweet food from Alfred. “Bruce. What are you doing here?” Harvey’s voice broke Jason from drooling over the buffet Pennyworth had made. “I-…” Bruce took in a shaky breath. Batman knew he should have rehearsed something, but lately, he’s only done impulsive things. “I’ve been a terrible father to my youngest daughter. I’m sure you all know that- I’m trying to slowly see the great achievements she made despite that and to try and understand her better.”

“And we’re supposed to believe that?” Waylon growled, tail tapping the asphalt anxiously. Harley backed Croc up, grinding into the ground the fact that he’d never tried before, that it’s been years. But one of the kids ignored the tension, coming up to the man and just grabbing his hand, smiling brightly at him.

“She always told us that some people are worth giving second chances.” The little girl looks back at the others. “He’s seeing he did bad and trying to fix it.” She shrugged and the rogues couldn’t argue. Without those second chances they wouldn’t be here, but that doesn’t mean they’ll make it easy for the trust fund baby. “Well, Mr. Wayne. Better get to work.” Two-face cackled as Cobblepot started directing the man to start carrying old, unusable furniture out of the buildings, giving the goons a break.

Jason turned to look at the little girl, his hands on his hips. “You stole his watch.” It wasn’t a question, it was very much a statement, a statement at which the little kid just smiled brightly. “She always said to rob the rich blind, too, and that man is too trusting of little kids. I got his ring too.” Jay couldn’t argue with that, so he just ruffled the little rascal’s hair and went on his way.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“I’m sorry- You have to marry a fish?!” You almost yelled into the com as you stopped a car from splatting a woman. “And C is just letting that happen? I’m telling you, he’ll become enemy number one.” Setting the car down, ignoring Cecil saying he could hear you, you quickly grabbed the woman and flew to the protective dome where most civilians were staying safe. Your eyes met hers and you immediately complimented the bright green color. “Wha- not you two morons! I was talking to somebody else- Yes, I’m on the job.” You sigh as you set her down before getting back to action.

“Robot wanted me on the scene to take care of the civis, said something about Immortal needing the win, but uh…” You watch as the man gets overwhelmed and decapitated, his body going limp while Dupli-Kate and Black Samson try to get to him. “It’s kinda pathetic. They’re not fighting like a team. Robot, Shrinking Rae, and Moster Girl seem to be the only ones able to keep up.”

Cecil just sighs, turning on the coms for everyone. “Sorceress. End it, now.” While Robot tried to argue against it you just acted, getting tired of this mess. Getting higher in the air your hands raised, eyes glowing as you muttered some of the new spells Zatanna and John taught you.

Most of the aliens fell to the ground lured into a deep sleep state while the ones who could fight against the magic were quickly chained- all, with a wave of your hands, fell through a portal straight to their home planet. Landing you grabbed the Immortal’s head, moving closer and sticking it close enough that the skin started reattaching on its own. When you got up Kate was quick to tell you off and take your place, pulling the man onto her lap.

You just shrugged making your way to Robot and Amanda. “What’s her problem?” You mutter while subtly checking everyone out for injuries. Rex almost crashed onto you as he groaned, arm swinging over your shoulder. “She’s pissy because you and the ass were a thing, and she thinks he still likes you.” You frown, hand hovering over his face to fix the bloody mess. “That’s stupid. We weren’t. And if we were and he was still after me she should put herself first and find someone who won’t make her feel like that.”

“Wait- they are together? Like for real?” You look at the others as they get closer, most nodding. “You two weren’t? You really expect me to believe that-agh! You did that knowingly!” Rex cried as a bone set back in place quite painfully while you simply answered with a yes.

“Most of the heroes thought that. You two were pretty friendly for a while.” Black Samson shrugs. “Yeah, because we’re both immortal. We were venting about that, we understood each other, and then… Omni-Man happened, and he called me and my brother ticking bombs. Too dangerous to be helping.” Amanda hissed at that, face cringing. “Damn, that’s such an asshole thing of him to say.”

“I don’t hold that against him. But we are not our father, he should know better, and I won’t hang around him until he apologizes and means it.” You looked over your shoulder as the man in question groaned. “Speaking of- time for me to go.” You let go of the healed Rex, pat Robot’s head, and high-five Amanda. “See you later, losers.” Rudy looks at Amanda. “Why did she pat my head?” Monster girl snorts. “It’s called affection- don’t!” she slapped his hand away. “Don’t do that to me, I’ll break your legs.”

Before you could lift off the ground once you were far enough the woman you saved before quickly stopped you, calling you over. “I just wanted to thank you. Have you eaten? Perhaps I can buy you something? There’s this café down this street, they make amazing toast sandwiches and milkshakes.” You just laughed; not like you could say no to free food. “You don’t have to thank me or pay for-“ You tried to be a lady and politely refuse, but the woman insisted, urging you to take her and have a little break.

“Alright, ma’am, you won.” You smirked as you picked her up before taking flight. “May I know the name of who’s paying for my meal, at least? I mean, I may start thinking you’re an assassin or something if you keep being so mysterious and pushy.” You teased while following her directions, but she just gave you a smirk. “I’m Talia.”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Bruce was sitting next to Jason, looking at the kids and rogues, but his eyes couldn’t help but drift to the murals. “She really did all of this?” Jason just nodded at his question. “She did a lot. This is a small thing. Your foundations can only do so much, Bruce. Sometimes people need community, need love, and support, and to feel like they belong. She gave that to a lot of people here.”

He nods to the murals. “When she was painting those, some kids tagged it. She caught them and asked them to join, telling them she’d pay. And she did. It was enough for those kids to keep a roof over their heads while we were building the affordable housing building down the block, and it was enough for them to put towards education.”

“One is aiming to be an engineer and the other two are going for art subjects.” Jason looks at the man. “Many of the goons Batman was fighting quickly quit and started working at the orphanage or the hospital once they found out they could afford to live and their wants with the salary offered. You can’t always solve shit by paying for buildings, sometimes that does the opposite. It just makes shit more expensive when it has the name of some billionaire attached to it.”

“This? Helping each other, creating things they can afford while opening job opportunities everyone is qualified for, and nobody will have to break their backs only to decide if they should pay for groceries or rent that month- that helped. It brought the crime rate down. Sure, I still sell drugs, crimes still happen, but surprisingly that has gone down for my zone too.”

“She has a job now, a well-paying one. So, the allowance you send mostly goes to this- I think she even sends some of her actual salary here. I began adding to it, and Penguin started doing similar on his turf.” Jason shrugs. “We gather it all and split it so everyone can pay bills, can have money for groceries, and clothes, and even have some extra on the side. Some still don't get paid enough due to the government not wanting to fund us, but what we put together helps make what is a 7-dollar-per-hour job into a 20-25-30-dollar-per-hour job. When she sends too much, we either give bonuses or put it to vote and repair something. It usually ends up being that, it’s how we repaired the local kindergarten and school. It’s how we repaired a lot.”

“I never knew-“ Jason just laughs at Bruce. “Yeah, I didn’t either. I was a little shit like you, too, remember? It took me dying to see that.” The young crime lord looks Bruce in the eyes. “That’s why I won’t tell you where she is, what she does, who she is now.” Bruce looks at his son, the tiredness in him shining through now more than ever. “She’s in Chicago, lived in NYC for a bit.” The older man mutters.

“I’m… I’m afraid of how she’d react, of what I will find out if I go looking for her.” He whispers and Jason simply shakes his head. “You’re afraid she’ll reject you, brush you off like you did. You’d deserve it. Everyone in this blasted family would.”

Bruce nods. He wasn’t able to sleep for a while after finding out one of his kids was missing and he didn't even know. He mostly sat in his office, in front of his parents' portraits. Every single one looked more disappointed in him than the other- he knew that wasn’t possible, they were paintings… but a part of him also remembers those portraits being- happier.

“Have you gone in her room yet?” Bruce shakes his head, his question waking him from his thoughts. Nobody did, not even Alfred, the guilt was eating everyone alive, he was sure Dick would cry or break something if he even looked at her door. “You should.” Jason insisted. “Call the others, you all are going to look into her room, into her life, and see what hell we all put her through.” The young man nudged the older man to get up when Cobblepot came closer, trying to put Bruce to more work. He wasn’t doing this to better them, Jason wanted the family to be broken. It was selfish, but being selfish is what made him your favorite rogue.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“So, how was everyone’s day?” Debbie’s nightly question was asked again as she set her drink down.

“Well, instead of marrying a fish I ended up fighting a sea monster and then I finally moved into my dorm with William.” Mark said as he ate. “I have hella parental issues, and I think everyone should compliment my achievements more because I almost cried when this lady I ate lunch with said she was proud of how quickly I grew in my powers.”

“You almost cried?” Debbie asked, worry on her face at the revelation. Maybe they should have put you in therapy the first time you came clean with Bruce’s neglect. Mark, however, was more fixated on the unnamed lady, knowing you were mostly joking. “…You went on a date?” You sigh. “No. Stop doing that overprotective older brother BS, you look like a mangy Chihuahua acting like that.” He just pouted.

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[anmwrites]

Stubborn

Xaden Riorson x Reader

Hi friends! I was originally planning on posting one of my already written fics, but since this was requested I made it first priority! I hope I did the request justice (and didn't miss anything when I proofing it). Forewarning, I feel like I absolutely suck at ending stories, so I apologize if the ending is terrible >:( This was written as a FMC as well, but please change to whatever makes you feel comfortable when reading.

Warnings: Cursing, slight sexual innuendos (?), and faint mentions of childhood trauma.

Other Notes: Xaden being more fluffy, maybe, than usual; reader being moody and not really knowing why she's upset (I think I put some of myself into that oop); pretty rusty at this so I hope it doesn't suck lol.

I also want to go ahead and say that I take trigger warnings very seriously as someone who has struggled with mental health, so for future fics please let me know if I miss anything. This one felt a little lighter than some fics I've written in the past, but I don't want to hurt anyone in any way. Please always take caution even though I will list any warnings. Your mental health matters!

On that note, I hope everyone enjoys and finds a little escape with our favorite shadow wielder! (Disclaimer: I do not own any photos below)

To say the adjustment to training with and well, in general, to having fliers around was easy is a lie. A complete. Fucking. Lie. The only thing both riders and fliers had in common were the amount of fights they caused with one another. That was it. 

Y/N tried. She really, really tried to make the best of a shitty situation, but she was almost at her breaking point. Especially with Xaden’s ex roaming the halls. She was one bad comment away from Sgaeyl biting her head off for snapping at him. 

“He’s not into her anymore,” Violet said, snapping Y/N out of her thoughts as she stared, more like glared, at the short-haired bitch from across the dining hall. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Y/N snipped back. “Yes, you do. You are this close to starting a fight with her. Don’t be like Ridoc, you’re a lot more level headed than him,” she said, pinching her fingers together to show a miniscule amount of space. “Hey! It was one fight,” Ridoc exclaimed from across the table. 

“One fight too many,” Violet mumbled rolling her eyes at their spastic friend. “I’m fine,” Y/N huffed. The entire squad gave her a knowing look. She rolled her eyes, “Whatever, I’ll see you losers in class.” Ridoc gave her a cheerful smile as she stood, everyone else grumbling their goodbyes. 

A silk-like touch wrapped around her ankles as she made her way out of the dining hall. Y/N didn’t have to look to know Xaden sent his shadows trailing after her, a silent inquiry as to where she was going. She just shook her foot, not wanting to think nor speak to her boyfriend. As if Zihnal himself had a personal vendetta against her, though, a rough hand grabbed her arm. 

Y/N turned to find Xaden staring down at her, a hint of concern written in those beautiful eyes. “Where are you going?” he asked. “Kill time before our next class,” Y/N shrugged, refusing to look at him. Truth be told, ever since she found out Cat was Xaden’s ex, she really tried to avoid him, a nasty feeling permanently making its home in her stomach. 

“Well, I gathered as much,” Xaden rolled his eyes, releasing her arm. “I can come with,” he suggested, his tone much softer than what the entire riders quadrant would ever hear. “I’m fine, thanks,” she said flatly. Xaden made a face. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” “You’ve been saying that for the past two weeks now. Yet I barely get to see you, and you’re avoiding me.” Y/N just shrugged, “I’m busy.” Xaden scoffed, a darker expression replacing his concerned features. “C’mon,” he said, grabbing at her waist before running his hand along the curve of her body. She felt her breath sweep out of her. “Don’t you miss this?” He leaned in, whispering in her ear. He planted a feather-light kiss on the shell of it, sending heat rushing through her body. 

Y/N almost forgot why she was so mad. Until a nasally voice cut through the air. “Xaden!” she practically shrieked. Y/N cleared her throat, taking a step back out of his embrace. “I’ll see you later,” she mumbled before melting into the crowd. A furious expression graced Xaden’s face as he watched Y/N retreat before turning to face Cat. “What do you want?” he snapped. She sauntered over with a flirtatious smile. “Trouble in paradise?” she drawled. Xaden just crossed his arms. Cat flashed him a saccharine smile, “You know, I can always make you feel better. I do know how to make you feel better.” She smirked, and tried to reach her hand out to touch his face. Xaden shot a hand out, forcefully gripping her wrist. “You don’t get to fucking touch me anymore,” he snarled. Her swaggering facade fell slightly as she squirmed to try and get out of his grasp. 

“Fine,” she snapped. He released her. “You’ll come crawling back to me once you get bored with that one.” Xaden glared at her. “I don’t do sloppy seconds,” he spit before turning on his heel and leaving her. 

__

Maybe you should just talk to him, Nordys, Y/N’s black scorpion tail huffed as they lounged in one of the many fields within the nesting grounds around Aretia. That’s not happening. Nordys’ head swiveled in her direction, coming eye level to her. His green eyes narrowed into slits. You’re being childish. He is your mate. 

One, ew he’s not my mate. He’s my boyfriend. And two, what am I supposed to say? ‘Hey Xaden, I fucking hate your ex-girlfriend. She makes my life and my squadmates’ lives a living hell. Drags up very painful memories from my childhood. Can I please incinerate her?’ Nordys let out a chortle which was eerily similar to a laugh. Yes. Essentially that. He is the wingleader. And I would be happy to oblige by incinerating her and her mount. Y/N smiled softly at the thought, leaning against his side. At least someone understood. 

Tairn just said he would turn a blind eye to it as well. Sgaeyl agreed too. We would have free reign to kill them all, Nordys continued. That’s a shock considering they won’t let Andarna do it. 

Andarna is a petulant adolescent. She must learn patience and discipline. At least that’s what Tairn told me. 

Y/N sighed. I just don’t know what I’d say to him. I’m not mad at him. He’s entitled to have ex’s. I would be shocked if he didn’t. It’s just…I really hate her.  

You are ten times the human she is. You do not need to worry about your position as Xaden’s mate. Y/N groaned, Stop calling him that. Boyfriend, he is my boyfriend. We’ve talked about this. And I’m not worried about my position with Xaden. It’s just…well, I’ve told you before. My mother chased after rich men her entire life. They basically used her for her body and left her in the gutter. 

I will call him as I see fit and you are not your mother. You are a rider, Nordys huffed, before laying his head down and closing his eyes. You need to go to class now, he said after a moment. Y/N groaned again. He was right. She was going to be late, and Professor Emetterio would have her head. Fine. Have fun doing whatever it is you do, Y/N grumbled, gathering her things. Nordys let out a hot breath in her face before launching himself into the sky leaving Y/N to trek to class. 

__

Y/N’s moment of peace was ruined the moment she stepped into combat training. The fliers were gathered on one side of the mat while the riders stood on the opposite side. “I see immersion into our current living situations are going well,” Emetterio mumbled mostly to himself. Professor Devera just let out a quiet laugh from where she stood beside her colleague. Xaden was standing near the door, pointedly staring at Y/N while she was doing everything she could not to meet his hard gaze. 

“Well, since everyone wants to fight everyone outside of this class, we will be pairing riders with fliers,” Emetterio’s voice boomed through the room. There was an audible groan from both sides. 

“Good, now then!” He continued. Y/N zoned out as everyone began pairing off while he called names. Only when her name and her opponent was called did she really pay attention. Her blood ran cold as Cat stared back at her with a dark grin on her face. 

“You’ve got this,” Violet whispered from her right. Rhiannon nodded in agreement from her left. “You’ve been trained by Xaden himself. You’re one of our strongest fighters,” Ridoc came up behind her, clapping her on the back. Y/N just gave them a look before stepping on the mat. “Begin,” Emetterio called. 

Cat smirked and she began dancing around on her feet. “It’s about time we got paired together,” Cat commented. Y/N snorted, watching her closely. Timing was everything. Xaden taught her that. Study your opponent and assess their weak side if possible. Especially when you go to the mat during class. His voice rang clear in her head from all those late nights spent training. 

“Let’s make it interesting,” Cat continued on, “Winner gets Xaden?” Y/N glared back at her, “He’s not some trophy.” She let out a sultry laugh, “You’re right. He isn’t. He’d be one for you, but not for me. You see, we’re royalty, him and I. So it’s just the perfect match.” 

Y/N let out an inhumane snarl before lunging at her. To her utter shock, Cat maneuvered out of her way resulting in Y/N punching the air. She swung around and landed a sweep to Y/N’s legs, knocking her on her face. Fury rippled through her as she swung around trying to knock Cat off her feet with a swift kick, but to her surprise, yet again, Cat took the hit and rolled right back into her stance exactly…exactly like Xaden. 

Her cackle was like nails on a chalkboard. Y/N pushed herself up quickly, going through the next steps just like Xaden showed her, but Cat didn’t miss a beat, moving just like how Xaden would when they trained. 

Y/N froze for just a second, as she watched for the fifth time, as Cat moved just like him. Her moment cost her, and next thing she knew, a fist met her face. Y/N stumbled towards the edge of the mat where Violet and Ridoc caught her and kept her from falling over. “S-she was taught by Xaden. Every single one of his moves. She knows them,” Y/N panted. “It doesn’t matter. Focus,” Vi encouraged. While Y/N thought no one noticed, she was really wrong. Cat got under her skin. Everyone could see it. 

“Finish it,” Ridoc snarled at her, his hard stare on Cat, who was still laughing. “Ready to tap out yet?” she goaded. Seeing red, Y/N shoved herself off of Violet and Ridoc. Faster than she had ever been, she lunged for Cat. Her fist met flesh with the satisfying crunch of Cat’s nose. 

Cat snarled before whipping back up, slugging Y/N in the face again. “You bitch!” she hissed. Y/N laughed, the coppery tang of blood filling her mouth. “You broke my nose,” Cat snarled. “Sucks to suck,” Y/N smirked. “Argh!” Cat exploded, reaching in her belt and ripping out a dagger. 

Y/N had moments to react. She went straight for the onyx hilted blade at her side, barely blocking Cat’s attack before she could leave a permanent scar across her face. She felt a faint sting on her cheek, but that was the least of her worries because Cat lunged at her again. Rage built within Y/N. She began striking back, dodging every one of her blows. She was fairly certain Cat was using her abilities on her to rile her up, but she didn’t care. Part of this anger was all Y/N’s.

She could barely hear Emetterio yelling at them to drop the weapons. Barely hear her squadmates and the fliers edging on the fight. It was turning sloppy. Both began ripping at each other’s hair, trying to cut one another. Until strong arms wrapped around her center, yanking Y/N off of Cat, who’s entire face was bloody. 

“You won,” a soft voice caressed her ear. “Sweetheart, you won. You proved your point,” Xaden’s shadows wrapped lovingly around her struggling form. Y/N was still seeing red. Cat was shrieking profanities at her as her friends were trying to hold her back. “You fucking whore!” Cat screamed, “He’ll come crawling back after he gets sick of fucking your pathetic ass–” “Cat!” Xaden’s voice boomed. 

Y/N snarled and went to lunge again, but Xaden whirled on her, body blocking her with his chest. “Darling, calm down,” he said. “Look at me!” Two hands gripped her face tightly and she felt the fight slowly slip away. Her eyes met his beautiful gold-flecked onyx eyes. “There you go. Calm down. It’s alright, you won,” he was breathing heavily. Nothing but pride filled his face. 

The high wore off and she finally took a moment to breathe. Y/N glanced around and saw Violet and Rhiannon give her a grimace, but they looked happy nonetheless. Ridoc looked like he just had a blast, and everyone else began whispering excitedly as Emetterio dismissed them. 

She looked back to Xaden who was still staring at her intently. “You were fantastic,” he breathed. “I’ve never seen you move that fast. Albeit it got sloppy there at the end, but still.” That ugly feeling resumed its place within her as the reality of what just happened sunk in. “She fought like you,” Y/N whispered. Xaden tensed. “She fucking fought like you because you trained her,” Y/N hissed, stepping out of his grip. 

“Y/N,” Xaden sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. She just shook her head and turned on her heel, storming out. 

“Y/N wait!” his voice followed her out as she stormed through the halls. Y/N nearly made it to her room before Xaden caught her arm. “What is going on with you?” he asked, with an exasperated look. “You fucking trained her Xaden!” she shrieked. Emotion began pouring out of her. “It’s one thing that I have to pretend to be civil with your ex when all she does is spew shit out about how she’s royalty and that I’m just a side-piece! And now I find out you taught her how to fight?” 

“So what if I taught her how to fight?” Xaden snarled, his temper flaring. He could not, for the love of Amari, figure out what the big deal was. “I-I, just don’t know,” Y/N muttered, exhaustion finally sweeping in. She could feel her cheeks dampen as tears rolled freely down her face. Embarrassment coursing through her. She didn’t even know when she started crying. 

Xaden threw his hands up in the air, still clearly frustrated. “You don’t know? You don’t know? I have been trying to talk to you for two weeks now! How many times do I have to tell you that I am in love with you? So deeply in love with you!” he shouted. Y/N just stared at him.

“Are you mad at me? Jealous? What is wrong!” he asked. Y/N opened her mouth and then closed it. Was she mad at him? “No,” she exhaled, “I’m not mad at you. I, I just don’t know why I’m so upset. I mean there’s a very large possibility that Cat has been manipulating my emotions, but I’ve just had this horrible feeling sitting in my gut ever since I found out about your history with her,” she concluded.  “You have nothing to be worried about,” Xaden sighed. “That feeling, my dear, is called jealousy.” 

Y/N just shook her head. In all reality, she really didn’t want to talk about it with him. He knew what her past was, but just because he said it didn’t bother him didn’t mean it never bothered her. 

She pushed open her door planning on slamming it in his face, but he caught it and followed her in. “Just talk to me. Please, baby, just talk to me,” he said quietly, resting his hand on her cheek and wiping a stray tear away. Y/N squeezed her eyes shut. “It’s just…you were going to marry her. Marry her, Xaden. She’s practically a princess where she comes from. She was practically your first for everything. And she struts around here like she’s still going to be married to you, calling me a whore and all of the other names in the book. Constantly reminding me,” Y/N let out a shaky breath and opened her eyes, "reminding me of where I came from that I so desperately want to forget.” 

Xaden studied her for a moment, his features visibly softening. “You aren’t your mother,” he said quietly. Y/N scoffed. “You really aren’t. You didn’t end up like her.” “What? Fawning over rich, powerful men who only cared when she spread her legs open for them?” Y/N mumbled.

“Is that how you think of us?” Xaden questioned. “No? Yes? I don’t know. It’s just with her here, it’s what it felt like,” Y/N whispered. Xaden let out a breath before wrapping her in his arms. “It’s not,” he murmured into her hair, “It’s more than that. I love you for you. For your light, intelligence, your stubbornness…absolutely everything. She may have been my first but you will be my last. My heart has always belonged to you and will always belong to you in this life and the next.” 

Y/N felt a wave of calm and reassurance wash over her. She melted deeper into his embrace, breathing his all too familiar scent. “I love you too,” Y/N grumbled into his chest, “And I’m sorry for not talking to you sooner.” Xaden chuckled, pulling away slightly. “It’s fine my sweet girl,” he gave her one of his smiles only she was allowed to see. 

“Now can I kiss you or are you going to bite my head off?” He smirked. Y/N rolled her eyes, gripping his face and pulling it down to hers. Xaden’s lips met hers in a fervor. The taste of him all consuming. Kissing Xaden was like a dream, but this? After two weeks of walking on eggshells? Well, Y/N was practically floating. 

His tongue swiped her bottom lip, asking for permission. Y/N happily obliged, parting her lips to give him access. His hands roamed freely all over her body sending lightning cascading down her spine. She let out a soft groan as he deepened the kiss, both of them moving in tandem backwards towards the bed. Y/N hardly registered her legs bumping into it before she fell backwards. The soft duvet fluffed up around her as Xaden followed in suit until he was settled in between her legs. He leaned in bearing more of his weight down and – 

“Oof,” she grunted, a zap of pain shooting up her back. Xaden froze, pushing up off her. “I’m fine,” she whined, staring up at him. “You took a nasty beating,” he commented, pushing fully up and off of her. Y/N just let out another pathetic whine, missing the feel of his lips and body on hers. 

Xaden just chuckled and held out his hands. “Not until you’re cleaned up and feeling better,” he tutted. “Up.” Y/N rolled her eyes, but grabbed his hands. He did have a point. Her whole body had begun aching. “Fine,” she huffed. “But as soon as I’m all patched up, can we go back to kissing?” He let out a glorious laugh, “Yes, love. We can go back to kissing.”

____________

See, I told you my endings are always lame. I'm so sorry. Will also start building a Masterlist soon too.

[danaan13]

After the doctors had left for the evening, and the only ones around were the night nurses, I leaned to the side to peer out of the room door. No one in sight. I burrowed down under my covers and cupped my hands together. Inside the bowl shape my hands made, a tiny magic light bloomed. I let the spell go. And I settled back in bed with a very thoughtful frown.

I could still do magic. What the hell?

When I'd said something about it to the doctor earlier, he ordered tests to check my senses and my brain. He suggested that I'd probably just been eating some wild plant that gave me hallucinations.

I looked at the clawed scars on my right arm. No. Pretty sure I hadn't been hallucinating. What the hell?

I rubbed my eyes. I wasn't sure what to do. Could I go back to being normal after this?

When I dropped my hand back to my lap and opened my eyes, there was a tiny old man sitting in a chair next to my bed. I yelped in surprise and he just smiled. "My apologies. But please... remain calm. We don't want the nurses getting suspicious."

I frowned and said. "Who are you? How did... Where did you come from? That chair was not here before!"

The man nodded. "And it won't be here when I'm gone. My name is Francis. I'm from the Narnoona Association. As for the how... Magic. Like what you just hid under the blanket a minute ago."

I scowled at him and muttered, "Narnia? Really?"

He laughed. "Narn-oo-na. Similar. But not the same. C.S. Lewis had some pretty similar ideas. But no. We're been around longer."

The man crossed his legs and smiled quietly again. "In short, we're a group that tracks and maintains access to portions of our world, where magic coalesces and thrives. I'm sure you're imaginative enough to know how wrecked modern society would be if magic got out. Especially uncontrolled."

I scowled a bit more. "You mean how wrecked capitalism would be."

The man grimaced then and nodded. "Well... that too. I was actually referring to the part where people who shouldn't have power would use it to make things worse for those who are too tired to fight back, because of current socio-economic circumstances."

He looked up at me then, eyes seeming to read right through me. "Though, based on your statement, perhaps you're more suited for our sister organization. Yes... I think so."

He stood up then and tapped the chair. Which then completely disappeared, as if it had never been there at all. He smiled at me again. "Expect a visitor in the morning. She'll introduce herself as your Aunt Katy. Go along with it. You won't regret it."

He winked and then turned around. And disappeared. Like the chair.

What the hell?

I fumed and ruminated on this for a bit. Until exhaustion won and I fell asleep. I told no one, when the next morning came around. It's not like they'd believe me.

And surely enough, about midmorning, a nurse bounced right into my room with a bright smile. "Guess what! We found a member of your family! Your Aunt Katy is here to take you home!"

Behind the nurse, a tall amazon of a woman strode in. She wore the sharpest, sleekest black suit dress I'd ever seen walk off an Armani runway. Perfectly pinned hair, bright red lipstick, and a vibe that screamed Professional.

Professional what? Hell, if I know. But I felt that everyone must believe every word that ever came out of her mouth.

I put on a quick smile. "Aunt Katy? Wow... That was fast!"

Katy somehow became motherly, as she swept forward and hugged me. "Oh it's really you! We were so worried. Well... don't you fear. We'll have you home and sorted today. I promise!"

The nurse beamed and said, "I'll go start the paperwork!"

And then we were alone. The aura of masks seemed to slip from Katy just a little. Her smile relaxed. "I'm Katherine, from The Odyssey Corps. Francis notified me that you'd be a fit for us. He also mentioned he didn't really explain anything. Don't worry. He's just a mischievous fucker like that. I'll read you in once we're somewhere secure. But for now... Trust me. It's not as bad as you think. If you're even half as powerful as Francis said, we'll finally be able to move on certain figures."

I just nodded.

At this point, the nurse came back with a clipboard for "Aunt Katy". She looked it over and then signed it. "Alright, sweetheart. Let's get you home!" she chirped, before handing me a bag with clean clothes.

Very expensive clean clothes. I quickly smiled and went to get dressed.

Why did the island with the demons seem less scary now?

What the hell?

You're in a hospital after surviving for 3 years in the wilderness. What a way to find out that plane crash didn't isekai you. Once everything settles down, you begin to wonder... If this wasn't another world, how are you able to use magic now, and why did that island have demon beasts?

[thevoicefromanotherworld]

"THAT'S MY GOOD FUCKING GIRL"

SOOOO I wrote another story with Buck because I (need him to fuck me until I can't walk straight) love him so much

I wrote this for everyone, but specially for the people that (as me) have a thing for that freaking metal arm ikyk *wink wink*

I hope you like it!

WARNING: EXPLICIT SMUT UNDER THE CUT

The soldier tried to get rid of the ropes that were tied around his wrists.

“Damn ropes,” he growled, trying to untie the strong knot that had been made around his wrists.

Then he heard them, several footsteps slowly approaching where he was.

“Shit,” he snorted as he listened to them. “I can hear you, you know?” he snorted. “If you want to be discreet, it would help if you didn't wear those fucking boots.” he shrugged. “But hey, if you're back to try to make me bleed, go ahead.” Suddenly the footsteps stopped, and Barnes listened, trying to guess if the intruder had left or was still in the house. “Hello?” he asked.

The footsteps started again, making you enter his field of vision. He watched you for a few moments with wide eyes, surprised by your presence.

“What…? You?” he asked, tilting his head in confusion. “How the hell…?” Where did you come from? How did you get in here?

-I climbed the wall –you said raising your hands- these new gloves Tony designed are the best, they stick like they were made of gum –you nodded towards the glasses hanging around your neck- you should let Stark take a look at them

-For your information, smartass, these glasses are older than you and I combined –he muttered- I use them to better focus on my objectives –he stared at you- but we're not talking about me, but about you –he said, turning the tables on you- What the fuck are you doing here? I told you not to follow me, that I wanted to work alone on this mission –he sighed tiredly- I hoped you would at least respect my decision, but of course you haven't because you barely respect yourself

-What the fuck did you say? –you questioned, looking at him with rage reflecting in your dark eyes-

-You heard me, fuck –the super-soldier growled- they could have killed you if they had seen you come in here –he muttered- it's not that I don't trust you, okay? You're an exceptional agent and Fury would agree with me –he explained- you know that he would have put us together if it weren't because… -he tilted his head- the people in this place are extremely dangerous, and not because they're armed to the teeth with pistols and semi-automatic weapons –he muttered- they're an illegal organization that has been trafficking drugs and scientific experiments for years. Do you understand? These guys are top 1 on the list of biggest motherfuckers in the world, even above Hydra

You watched him closely for a few moments, as he continued with his story

-Apparently, when I snuck into their headquarters a couple of months ago they were working on a new drug to introduce into the black market, which supposedly brainwashes people and forces them to experience feelings they don't want, which makes them either extremely vulnerable or turns them into cold, emotionless soldiers –he lowered his head- like I was

The sadness in his voice when he said that made you want to run out of there, travel back in time, grab all the Hydra motherfuckers who hurt him and kill them all again one by one slowly and agonizingly.

-That's why you came here alone- you finally realized, he nodded-

-Yes- he confirmed- this is something personal for me- he stated- and for the record, I was carrying out my role with absolute normality, until they knocked me out- he made a gesture with his head towards the ropes- then I woke up here, tied to a chair while they tortured me for I don't know how many hours

-Are you okay?- you asked trying to see his wrists from your position-

-Yes, I've been tortured before by people who were much better at it, so it's nothing- he assured you- listen to me, these people are not the type you can mess with- he continued explaining- especially when they have unidentified drugs up their sleeve- he murmured seriously- that's why you have to leave, right now- he ordered, fixing his gaze on your eyes-

-Leave? I've come to save you!

"You, saving me?" you exclaimed, making an amused smile appear on his lips.

"You, saving me?" he questioned as if it seemed to him the craziest thing he had ever heard in his life. "Please, you saving me?" he snorted, very self-satisfied. "I can untie myself and get up from this chair whenever I want," he murmured. "Just because I have a couple of bruises doesn't mean I'm useless, okay?" he took a deep breath. "I have everything under control, just…" he swallowed slowly. "Go away before they hurt you," he whispered. "I need to know that you're safe."

The sparkle in his green eyes was enough for you to realize that he was serious. Even if what he was saying was true (and probably the most sensible option), you refused to listen to him.

-I'm not going to leave you here, I don't care what you say to me - you declared firmly, he let out a curse under his breath -

-Fuck, you're so stubborn - he complained, staring at you again -

-Look who's talking, the most stubborn one in the place - he frowned-

-I'm not stubborn! –Barnes exclaimed- I just know when my teammates can handle missions and when they can't, and you can't handle this one –he decreed- so you have to leave before they come back

At that moment Bucky felt a sharp pain in his neck, which made him turn his head as if he had been punched. Worried, you approached him without actually touching him.

-What happened to you? Are you okay? –you asked trying to find his eyes with your gaze-

-Fuck! –he growled, shaking his head from side to side, as if he was trying to wake up from a nightmare- I felt like something was poking me in the neck –he said, tilting his head- Do you see anything?

-Yes –you affirmed pointing at his skin with your index finger- they stuck a dart in you

-A dart? -he questioned while looking at the windows of the adjacent buildings- And where the hell did it come from? -his eyes focused on a fixed point outside- Look there, on the beams! -he pointed to the exact spot with his head- you have to get out of here, go away- he ordered hastily- you have to go before they know you're here… -you saw how his eyes began to close, whatever they had injected him with must have been powerful enough to knock him out- just… run… -he said before fainting-

Several hours later, the super-soldier came to. He slowly raised his gaze, causing a slight dizziness to suddenly come over him.

-Shit… my head… -he complained, looking around the room, which he didn't recognize- Where am I? -he asked himself out loud- What the hell…?

Then he saw you, stationed at the entrance of the room in a simple T-shirt and pants outfit.

-Oh, hello –he greeted, looking at you a little more attentively than he should have- it's you again –he observed- wait… I… I thought I told you to go away –he frowned, looking at the walls for a moment- wait a second, where are we?

-In my apartment –you answered-

-Your apartment? –he asked- How did we get here? We were in… –he looked at himself for a moment- Where the fuck are my clothes? What the hell happened?

-I got rid of the group that was outside your building –you explained calmly- then I brought you here

-Wait, wait –he stopped you- Did you kill all those men when I passed out? –you nodded- What happened to the leader?

-He was the only one I didn't kill - you confessed, holding his gaze - they put him in police custody awaiting trial - you explained - I assume that Fury is pulling the strings so that the case becomes Shield's matter and thus transfer the prisoner to the Raft as soon as possible

He stared at you, thinking what he should say next.

-I suppose I underestimated you - he said very slowly - and how did you manage to drag me here by yourself? Didn't I weigh much? - he questioned -

-Not really - you crossed your arms - I have lifted weights that weigh more than you, sergeant

A hoarse laugh came from between his lips, making you shudder. If only you knew how much it affected him when you called him that…

-You're lying –he whispered- I'm sure you had help –he laughed- you're not exactly Hawkeye, honey- he smiled- come on, you're smaller than me –he said pointing out the obvious- but… thanks –he said, making you nod your head as you assimilated that he had thanked you for saving his life, it was always good to hear it- and… Why did you bring me to your apartment? –he asked- Why not to the headquarters?

You stayed silent and he scrutinized your face for a few moments before finding the answer himself

-Oh, I see –he whispered- you would be in trouble if you had taken me there, because you weren't supposed to help me –he focused his gaze on you- Did Fury order you not to come after me?

-It could be - you answered in a small voice, he clicked his tongue-

-I knew it - he muttered angrily - I told you not to get involved in this, and you did it anyway - he snorted - God, you are so stubborn… - he complained - Do you know how dangerous those darts can be?

-No, I don't know, just like you - you said - so stop pretending you know what all this is about, because you don't

-Whatever you say, princess - he snorted, looking away at the wall beside him -

-No, I listened to you, so now YOU are going to listen to ME - you ordered, making the soldier focus all his attention on you again - when I brought you here, all by myself for your information, I thought you were dead - you said - your pulse was very weak and you were barely breathing. Do you understand? - you questioned, looking him straight in the eyes- I've been alone all my life and I've never felt as lonely as when I left your body on the tiles in my kitchen

-Technically I've been dead twice - he intervened delicately- but… thanks for stitching up my wounds - he looked at his chest and arms- from what I see you've done an excellent job - he took a deep breath- I should go and return to the barracks

-No

-No? - he questioned raising an eyebrow- Are you telling me what to do? - he asked, as if he hadn't heard you well- look, I appreciate your concern and all, but I really have to go

He stood up and walked towards the door, but you ran towards it and locked it before he got there.

You turned around to observe his imposing figure in the middle of the hallway, his metal arm sending out small flashes due to the moonlight that entered through the apartment windows.

-Have you really locked the door? –he questioned pointing out the obvious- Is this another hostage situation that I should be worried about? –he asked, sketching an amused smile-

The expression on your face and your body posture made it clear to him that you weren't going to let him go, so he raised his hands on both sides of his body in a gesture of defeat.

-Okay, okay - he gave in - but at least give me back my shirt - he asked kindly - at least you left my pants on, so thanks for that - he whispered ironically -

A loud sound reached Bucky's ears, who quickly became alert, looking both ways frantically.

-What the fuck is that? - he asked alarmed -

-It's the kettle - you said slowly - calm down, everything's okay

-Shit, sorry… - he whispered - it's just that… well… you know, my PTSD from being… - he swallowed hard, you had never seen him more vulnerable than at that moment - the Winter Soldier implies panic at loud sounds - he said - so I… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you

-I'm the one who should apologize - you retorted - I had no idea

-It's okay, you didn't have to know - he murmured kindly - You headed towards the living room. He followed you. A pile of clean clothes rested on the soft surface.

“This is for you,” you said timidly before picking up the bottle with the pills, “and this too,” you whispered, “is for the headache.”

An amused smile appeared on his lips.

“Will you make me some tea and offer me some new clothes?” he observed. “I appreciate it, but don't think that by doing this I'm going to forget the fact that you stayed when I told you to leave, but… thank you,” he said again, this was the third time.

You sat down on the couch and poured the tea. He took a sip before leaving the cup on the table.

-It's good - he said before taking a couple of pills - and these should take effect soon - he observed before looking at you firmly - I appreciate all this, but we would not have ended up in this situation if you had done what I told you to do - he explained - we have been lucky, because if not this could have ended in a very different way

-I know - you murmured, getting up to pick up your cup -

-I know you know - he affirmed -

He observed you for a moment, before speaking more softly than before.

-You are acting as if I were about to yell at you - he explained - Are you really not afraid of me?

-No - you answered calmly - Are you angry?

-No, I am a little disappointed in you for not taking your safety seriously - he confessed - but I am not angry - he smiled - but Fury will be… furious - he paused for a moment - if he finds out

-Are you going to threaten him? - you asked curiously-

-I won't, if you do it you're doing something for me - he said - never ever follow me on a mission as dangerous as this unless I ask you to, do you understand me? You are a very important asset for Shield, and that's why you are under my protection - he reminded you - I can't let you get hurt or killed - he said - it's not that I don't trust you, it's that keeping you safe is part of my job, not letting you get into things you're not ready for - he added - believe me, I had to deal with this type of situations a lot with Steve - he smiled remembering it - so, that would be all basically - he finished -

-Is that all? - you asked, he frowned -

-Is that all? - he repeated - And what…? - then he noticed your neck and your arms for the first time since he woke up from his slumber, now with the light he could see you clearly - What is that? -he questioned, staring at you-

-What?

-That, on your neck –he asked- Is it a bandage? Because it's in the same area where I… -his voice faded, as he looked into your eyes- little liar –he whispered, sending a shiver through your body- Did they manage to hit you with one of those darts too?

He remained silent, waiting for you to confess, but since you didn't, he spoke again

-I asked you a question, and I'm waiting for an answer. Did they shoot you?

-Yes –you muttered under your breath, he cursed-

-Shit –he complained- I told you not to follow me. This is the main reason why I told you not to –he snorted-

-Calm down –you asked, he looked at you firmly- -Calm down? -he asked- they shot darts at us with a substance that we don't know what it is- he reminded you- we could die right now and no one… -he stopped- shit, I'm fine- he reassured you- just a little dizzy- he said- it's because you're too close

You hadn't realized, but as you talked you had gotten closer to him, just like he to you.

-Do you want me to go? -you asked, he shook his head negatively-

-No, just… get away a little -he whispered- I'm sorry, but I can't seem to concentrate well right now-

-It happens to me too -you confessed alternating your gaze from his eyes to his mouth-

-Shit -he cursed again- I think there was something in that drug those bastards shot at us -he explained- I don't know what it could be but I feel weird -he whispered- I feel like my heart is racing every few minutes more than normal, and it definitely doesn't help that you're there, existing like a strong ray of sunlight hitting me directly in the face -he said making you blush-

-I think this drug could be an aphrodisiac or something like that -the soldier murmured- that would explain why… -he paused for a moment- no, no, no t-this is w-wrong -he stammered- I-I have to g-go-

You placed your hands on his chest silencing him immediately. You felt his strong muscles moving under his skin.

“Your hands… are warm on my skin,” he whispered, gently raising his metal hand to your face.

Automatically, all the thoughts you had about him and that hand and what he could do to you with it made your face heat up.

“You're blushing.”

“It's not true.”

“Yes it is,” he laughed, amused that you tried to hide it. “You…? Do you really like my metal arm?” he asked, raising the corner of his lips in a half-smile. “I mean… it's usually unpleasant for women.”

“Not for me,” you confessed, feeling like your face was about to explode.

“Oh, I see,” he whispered, “you love it, right?” he asked. “Shit, is that the drug talking, or…?”

“No,” you answered faster than you wanted. “I've been watching you for a while.”

That WAS because of the drug. I mean, it was true, but if you hadn't been on some kind of psychotropic drug (which you were) you would never have admitted that out loud, much less in front of him.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, making your heart skip a few beats, "especially so close," he sighed, "when I can admire everything about you," he whispered as he snuck his fingers under the waistband of your pants little by little before beginning to rub his fingers over your clothed center. "Is it okay?" he asked, you nodded. "More?" he questioned, reading the expression on your face.

Once again you nodded, making him let out a hoarse laugh that made you tense up deliciously.

"Only if you ask me nicely…" he murmured, stopping his movements, making you let out a gasp of surprise, he smiled.

"Please Bucky, can you…?" -You didn't have time to finish the sentence, since he had resumed his movements, which made you hold on to his broad shoulders to avoid collapsing-

-So obedient… -he murmured, watching you closely- I definitely didn't expect that from someone as stubborn as you- he laughed- shit- he growled- tell me to stop right now if you don't want me to kiss you- he said, staring into your eyes-

-I don't want you to stop- you repeated, swallowing hard, seeing the intense shine in his green eyes-

-Give me those lips then- he growled as he closed the distance that separated you to kiss you-

His lips moved needily against yours, making you gasp into his mouth. His beard tickled you, but you didn't care.

Not when he was kissing you like that, as if the air in his own lungs wasn't necessary to live, that he also needed the air in yours.

-This –kiss- is a –kiss- very bad idea –he murmured between kisses- you know that right? –he questioned- we should –kiss- stop –another kiss-

You watched each other for a moment, understanding each other without needing to speak, until he said:

-Fuck, I don't want to stop either –he panted kissing your neck and taking off your shirt and bra to leave kisses between needy and sweet on your chest- My God, every part of you is perfect –he whispered sliding his lips over your skin-

Little by little he placed you on your back against the couch without stopping kissing you, his powerful body floating over yours.

-That's it, darling –he praised against your mouth- give me better access –he murmured making a gesture towards himself for a moment- let me…

Without warning, you snapped your fingers and all his clothes disappeared making him laugh.

-Sometimes I forget that, besides being an excellent agent, you are also a mutant - he smiled - I have seen you use your powers before, but never like this

-That's because I only reserve these tricks for you - you whispered, making him smile -

Your powers consisted of making any physical element appear and disappear at will whenever you wanted.

At first you made things disappear without wanting to, but thanks to your training with Wanda and Strange you learned to bring them back and, ultimately, control your powers completely.

His fingers pushed aside your underwear, sneaking inside you. A gasp escaped from between your lips, noticing how he stretched you.

-Shit you are so wet - he observed, staring into your wide eyes - I can't wait and see how you taste," he confessed, making your hair stand on end, "but first you have to do something for me," he whispered, "can you do it, darling?" he added, you nodded weakly, his fingers certainly didn't help you concentrate properly. "Of course you can," he murmured before kissing you again, "do you know what I want you to do?" –he came closer to your ear, and whispered- I want you to beg

-I already have –you complained, he shook his head slowly-

-Not enough –he growled lightly- you're lovely, but you're going to have to beg me if you really want this –he whispered, you felt how the fact that he suddenly became so bossy only made you more excited than you already were- do it –he pressed- beg me

-Please Bucky –you pouted- I need you

-Come on princess –he sketched an amused smile- you can do better than that

That's when you exploded. Your libido was through the roof, and you needed him so much that his fingers weren't enough anymore, you wanted him.

-I need you inside me –you confessed- I need you to bury yourself so deep inside me that I don't know where I end and you begin.

-That's better –he said resuming his movements in your center- I knew you could do better –he added between laughs-

-Wait –you said holding his wrist with your hand- I need… I want… -your gaze shifted to his other arm, making his smile grow wider-

-Do you want me to touch you with my metal hand? –he questioned, you nodded slowly, feeling yourself blush- shit you're fucking adorable, are you sure? –you nodded again- you really have a thing for it don't you? –he took a deep breath for a moment- okay –he agreed- Who would dare to reject such a sweet offer?

He quickly replaced his flesh hand with the metal one. A squeal escaped from between his lips at the cold contact of the metal on your hot center. You held onto him as he curled his fingers, brushing against that spot that made your head spin.

-That's it, let me caress your clit- he whispered, watching you intently- good girl- he praised, making you gasp and start moving your hips against his fingers, suddenly his contact disappeared. Your eyes widened when you saw how he placed both hands on your hips-

-Fuck it- he growled- spread your legs- he ordered, staring at you-

-Why did you stop?- you moaned- I was about to…

-You're going to cum several times tonight- he assured you- now I need to taste you

Unable to say another word, you nodded and did as he asked.

-You're so wet- he whispered, placing himself between your legs- but I want you to be even more- he confessed, leaving a soft kiss on your center- legs on my shoulders, doll

You couldn't explain in words what happened next. His tongue was everywhere, sucking, licking, and tugging at your clit making you feel soaked like never before.

You arched your back into him, earning a murmur from him as he claimed you with his mouth. You rested both of your hands in his hair, tugging at it between your hands.

“Yes baby,” he whispered, “show me what you like,” he said as you squirmed against him. “Your moans tell me you’ve been wanting this for a long time,” he commented as he kissed you.

“Yes.”

“Yes?” he questioned. “You’ve been thinking about me like this, huh? I bet you got wet thinking about me doing this, right?” “Another kiss,” you nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence at the thought of a super-soldier eating your pussy out on your couch. “Is this what you wanted?”

-Yes –you gasped, holding onto his hair again, feeling yourself blush-

-It's okay, baby –he whispered- you're not the only one who's had those fantasies –he confessed, and the fact that Bucky had been thinking about you like that was enough to make you cum at that moment- you've been on my mind for quite some time, too –he began to explain- in this position and maybe with one of my hands on your throat –a muffled cry escaped from between your lips, since that was the same thing you had been thinking- preferably the metal one –he whispered, thus completing both of your fantasy-

-I… -you gasped- I've been thinking about that too –you confessed, he smiled-

-Do you want to do it now? –he asked and you nodded- good girl –he murmured- okay, here we go –he said reaching his hand up to your throat- I'll just place it around it without using force, just so you feel his presence, okay? –you nodded firmly-

When you felt the cold metal against the skin of your neck, and his long fingers wrapping around your throat you thought you would faint. The pleasure you were feeling at that moment was nothing like anything you had ever experienced before.

-Oh fuck –he gasped watching you- this is so fucking sexy… -he growled- my hand around your throat –he murmured kissing you in the center again- my other hand stimulating your clit and my mouth devouring you like I have been wanting for weeks

The sensations were… too much. You felt your body tense and relax in equal parts. He noticed it too when he looked up at you.

-I can feel you tightening around my fingers –he whispered- Are you going to cum already, doll? –he asked- Are you close? –you nodded- good –he murmured- I want you to cum on my fingers while I make a mess of your clit –the mere thought made your head spin- Can you do that for me?

Lost in the cloud of lividity, you nodded.

-Good girl –he praised kissing you- just feel my fingers stretching you, while my teeth pull on your clit

-Buck… -you gasped holding onto his hair again-

-That's it baby, cum for me –he ordered-

With a loud squeal, you did it. As you caught your breath, his green eyes scanned your face intently.

“That’s my good girl,” he smiled. “You came so hard,” he murmured, his smile growing wider. “How long have you been holding it in, babe?”

“Too long,” you replied, trying to calm the trembling in your legs. Without giving him time to say anything else, you wrapped your hand around his cock. This time it was he who gasped.

“Baby,” he growled, throwing his head back. “I need to feel something more than just your hand,” he confessed. “Take your time, I don’t want to make you…”

A hoarse gasp escaped from between his lips as you took him into your mouth and tasted the tip between your lips. He raised his hips against you, making you feel him grow inside your mouth.

-Wait- he growled holding your head gently with his metal hand- I don't want to cum without feeling you first- he patted his leg twice- come here, sit on my lap

He didn't have to ask you twice. You positioned yourself there, he held your hips between his hands while offering you a radiant smile.

-Hi- you greeted with a nervous laugh-

-Hi- he whispered focusing all his attention on you- I want you to ride me- he confessed making you almost choke on your own saliva, you loved that he was so direct- now you have control and I want you to take my cock like a good fucking girl. Understand?

You nodded and raised your hips to slowly introduce him inside you. You both gasped at the sensation, his metal hand rested on your back, helping you stabilize.

-Slow down, baby – he whispered – don't rush – he asked – it's been a while since I last saw you

You moved your hips against him, feeling how he stretched you in a delicious way.

He buried his face in your neck to kiss you again while you sighed and moved looking for a release that came too soon.

When you finished he held you in his arms and without realizing it you fell asleep against each other.

[black-fist-order]

Holyshit. Well here's a conspiracy theory for ya.

I've been wondering why Trump has allowed Elon free reign to upstage him and do what he wants. I'm sure he has to know the public has been calling Trump Elon's lapdog. And then there's the Time cover with Elon sitting behind the presidential desk. Trump should be fuming, but during Elon's press meeting in the White House, Trump just sat there like a castrated sad clown while Elon's kid told him to shut up.

But why? Why would Trump let himself be upstaged and mocked - especially by a child? He already won the election. He doesn't need Elon's money anymore.

But then Jess told me something Elon's kid said during an interview with Tucker Carlson.

When asked if Trump would win the election, the kid says "yes" and then says "they’ll never know."

https://gizmodo.com/elon-musks-kid-keeps-saying-weird-stuff-about-trump-2000563118

During the election, I knew something was up when Trump began accusing Kamala for cheating in Pennsylvania. That's very specific. And historically, he only blames others for things he's doing.

As a programmer, I know anything is hackable. An 11 year old girl at the hacking convention DefCon in Vegas was able to hack into a voting booth in 10 minutes. And that was back in 2018!

And while the voting machines aren’t connected to the internet per-se, it only takes 10 minutes to pop in a USB and get out. And it just so happens there was a bomb threat in PA where they emptied the building. But it wasn’t just one building, it was 67!

Of the 67 locations, 56 were in 11 counties that voted for Joe Biden in the 2020 election, including the eight most populated. Those high-population Democratic counties include voting locations for Milwaukee, Wisconsin; Detroit, Michigan; Phoenix, Arizona; Atlanta, Georgia; and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna179006

Hacker kids do this stuff for the fun of it. Imagine if they were getting paid millions of dollars?

And now, Musk has surrounded himself with these kids who have notoriously gained access to federal records, our records, with ease.

Four hours before election results were called, Elon announced that Trump was the winner and he had an "app" to prove it.

And then, there's this... Trump is a complete idiot and actually said this out loud after the election...

"He (Musk) knows those computers better than anybody. All those computers. Those vote-counting computers," Trump told the crowd. "And we ended up winning Pennsylvania like in a landslide."

https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-elon-musk-voting-machine-2017657

"They will never know."

Trump even said repeatedly before the election, "I don't need your vote." It's a weird brag that indicated he had already won.

I had been saying Trump was going to cheat long before the election. But the comment was instantly shot down by both sides. Conservatives thought we were being hypocrites, and progressives thought we should be above Trump-style conspiracies and gracefully accept the outcome.

Looking into this now, I'm not surprised I wasn't the only one. The internet is all over this stuff.

https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/1i5uovx/donald_trumps_voting_computers_comment_sparks/

Will this info ever come out? Will it even matter? I have no doubt Elon's guys are at the top of their game, and the only way this will ever see the light of day is if one of these guys talks.

But for right now, it's obvious to me why Trump is letting Elon do whatever he wants.

Because all it would take is for Elon to turn to a camera and say a few words to the world, "I helped Trump steal the election."

Boom.

[anomaliex]

I think Gorgug grows up trying to take up as little space as possible.

I think that as a child, before he was all that conscious of his own decisions, he broke a lot of stuff. That's fine, small children do that and his parents have had him since he was a baby. A huge baby, especially for gnomes. A huge baby that grew into a toddler the size of his parents who's (again, normal and okay) tantrums did actual property damage because he's an orc. They were never mad at him for it, they'd never be mad at a child experiencing big emotions and not yet able to process them or understand consequences, but we know how their families reacted to that. We know that they always saw him as something that would grow up to be a threat.

I think that pretty much as soon as he develops a sense of it Gorgug starts feeling ashamed. He's ashamed of how nothing ever fits right, and of how loud he gets when he's upset, and of how the other kids in the neighbourhood (because it's a small folk neighbourhood!!) get scared of him sometimes, and of how when he has bad dreams he breaks his bed and is unable to control himself, like a baby. There was probably a time where he thought he was really clumsy and he was ashamed of that too, but by the time he turns like twelve Gorgug kind of understands that he's not more clumsy than the average kid, it's just that every time he drops something or bumps into a shelf it'll do so much more damage than if anyone else he lives around were to do the same.

(And his parents are talented tinkerers but sometimes their work is so delicate and all he ever does is wreck things. He doesn't dare touch it no matter how much they try to share this passion with him — eventually they assume he just doesn't like it and they would never force him to do something he doesn't want. Gorgug doesn't let himself discover how much he enjoys it until sophomore year. I wonder if he regrets all those years he spent fearing the possibility of ruining things and depriving himself of something he ended up loving.)

(And he was never "stupid", it's just that all he ever thought himself of was a brute so he never entertained the possibility of his own intelligence until faced with it. He didn't know he could thrive academically so it wasn't something he ever considered committing to. He literally just played bloodrush because he was good at it, not because he liked it. He just thought he had to, and he thought math is something he couldn't possibly do. Why try?)

Entering Highschool Gorgug is very shy, and he doesn't really have friends. Adults always like to blame the latter on the first, but sometimes it's the other way around and sometimes it's a vicious cycle. Sometimes you're six years old and none of the kids in your elementary school class are anything like you but you desperately try to fit in until you slip up and show them how much of a freak you are one time (I think he got mad. I think he broke a table. I think someone cried. I think maybe there was a teacher who was so much smaller than him and looked at him as if he were something to be feared. I think that in that moment he decided that he is. Or at least his rage, maybe.) and then you never get to have friends again and you shrink in on yourself and you don't understand how anyone else does it — it's not even that you're scared you just don't understand, and maybe you just want to be alone. And then a happy outspoken child grows into a shy teenager because they don't have any friends.

I think Gorgug is careful. He is so gentle and empathetic and kind and he is so careful because every time he isn't something breaks. And every time he raises his voice someone is scared of him and all he ever wants is people to not be afraid. So he hunches over, and he stands in the corner, and he scoots to the very edge of the bench so you don't have to sit too close to him, and he takes every insult to his face without fighting back lest he'll get upset and despite all his fucking efforts all it takes is one asshole to take it too far and he feels himself snap and all he wants to do is break something and hurt and twist and kill. And that scares him. He doesn't allow himself to be angry (and as wonderful as Digby and Wilma are they don't understand. They don't understand that he has to be, that he has to let it out some time.) so he bottles it up and every time it explodes out of him he doesn't know how to handle it other than to swing his axe and kill maul bite snarl kill.

But then, his adventuring party seems to not mind his rage, or his size, or his freakish strength. If anything they seem to like it, or at least respect him for it. He's never considered doing something like music before because that's for talented people and it's art and he doesn't do art because his hands are only good for destruction, not creation. Right? He does the music anyway. It's nice because there he's allowed to be angry on the drums and no one thinks it's weird.

He meets a girl that finds his rage attractive and he was scared that he'd scared her but he didn't. Ragh becomes one of his dearest friends and maybe for the first time Gorgug looks at a raging (half-)orc — all snarling and panting and bearing his teeth and twitching at any sound or scent — and doesn't find himself appalled because all he sees is someone that's fighting to keep him and his friends safe. And oh, maybe it's okay to be enraged.

I think he grows into a young man that doesn't love being angry but stops hating it too. He likes, in a way, that he gets angry over the right things, and he likes that being angry enables him to protect those he cares for. In the end his rage is a survival instinct and it's good to be alive. That leads to him, for a while, only accepting his rage as something that's fine to express in combat, and if it's outside of combat then only to his friends. There's still this need to make himself palatable, to tone himself down so everyone stays comfortable around him, but that also fades eventually.

During junior year he does finally come out of his shell enough to just express his anger the second he feels it. I think it is liberating and it's also the scariest thing he's ever done, and he went through a forest that made him confront his deepest fears already. (And that's exactly what it was. The inconvenience to his parents, the fear it strikes in others, the rejection it brings, the way it seems to reduce him to a weapon or maybe a wild animal and to some people including parts of him means he absolutely cannot be an intelligent or loveworthy person. He's always been afraid of his own rage.)

I think that if a younger Gorgug could see his older self snarl at one of his friends for making a joke about his parents' lawnmower, with his tusks fully grown out and muscle finally starting to fill out his clothes a little, so strong and so dangerous and so unashamed of it, he'd feel no relief and only horror. I think acceptance is something that feels alien to him right up until he suddenly achieves it.

[do-what-the-knight-tells-you]

Yes absolutely to most things on this post, but also in case anyone who wasn't already very familiar with s'mores before this post reads my response, I feel it is also crucial to point out that this practice of making s'mores is ubiquitous enough that in the lead up to especially the summertime, many stores will essentially adopt outdoor/camping as the "seasonal" section, and you will not be able to get away from skewers for roasting marshmallows that are like purpose-made for that-

(example photos from walmart.com)

Many families especially who would have access to camping or campfire-like situations will have a stash of these somewhere.

You of course can use one marshmallow at a time if you want, but they are two pronged like this to enable you to do things like offset your two marshmallows so that they each have complete surface area coverage, but one maybe a little more toasted than the other... Or stick as many marshmallows on there as you can fit. 👍

And some families may have those, but also an extremely traditional method of making a s'more especially when in a moderately forested area, and the version that you're going to see in cartoons and stuff, is to stick the bastards directly on a stick that you have scraped hopefully a majority of bark and dirt off of

And this can be taken to extremes. With that intentional skewer, you can you know pretty easily get two to four marshmallows on the end if you want, so sometimes one member of the party will be on marshmallow duty, and will pass goo-ified marshmallows off to whoever is next making a s'more, especially this might happen if you have some people who are really keen on roasting marshmallows, but maybe don't like eating them so well, or sometimes this will happen if like you're making them for kids who actually maybe too young and uncoordinated to be trusted sticking something into a fire...

But also you can do the same thing with the sticks, leading sometimes to very elaborate setups with multiple marshmallows sticking off at different points, and the tricky experiment of trying to roast them all appropriately without setting your stick on fire.

And the one point I would like to quibble with is that while we now have those jumbo marshmallows pictured above, and we even have like square marshmallows that some companies are making that are designed to fit more neatly on a half a gram cracker... In my day neither of those products existed, and the standard was just the large marshmallow, which is the size that every marshmallow on my section of this post has been so far. For comparison, here's a child playing with the sizes of marshmallow:

That's the tiny, like you would find in a hot cocoa packet perhaps, mini, which is the size you would use if you were going to build structures out of toothpicks and marshmallows, or make a little marshmallow trebuchet or launcher, also probably the size you would get if you were going to make Rice krispie treats, flat, which is the kind that have semi recently been designed specifically to fit nicely on a graham cracker half, standard, which is the size that anyone who's at least 20 or 25 probably grew up mostly seeing, and a jumbo, which is just... So much marshmallow...

(and on a personal note, while I always loved setting them on fire, probably the most fun for kids, my personal favorite way to eat them is not on the smore at all, but rather to toast them layer by layer, caramelizing the outside, and then slipping that skin off, here violating the precept that you must make it gooey (which, gooey is crucially important if you're going to squish it between two not very sturdy graham crackers with some stiff chocolate) but rather for me it's important not to make the middle gooey, so only so much of the inside comes with the skin and then you can stick the whole thing back in the fire and toast yourself another skin, and then repeat until you are out of marshmallow. This is extremely effective on a jumbo marshmallow, but then I have to drink a lot of water and lie down because that is so much sugar. XD)

Also also, part of the reason that Hershey's chocolate is usually the chocolate choice is that it is a very milk chocolate that melts quite easily and is fairly thin and brakes off into nice even squares or sets of squares. But also for anyone who has not had Hershey's, its quite a distinctive chocolate, and while others will do in a pinch, it is a distinctive enough chocolate that a s'more is not going to taste quite classic without specifically Hershey's.

(I'm not saying Hershey's is necessarily a good chocolate- if you are prone to thinking that some chocolates taste kind of like vomit? Hershey's will probably not be for you, cuz whatever chemical makes it taste that way is quite prominent in Hershey's milk chocolate. But it is a classic, cuz it was for the longest time the best shaped and cheapest and most available version of itself for this purpose)

GBBO: “A s’more is basically just an Italian merengue sandwiched between two ganache-covered digestives”

Americans:

[sunseed-fandump]

Someone asked for a post with some of my personal writing tips, so uh here I go I guess!

When I'm writing, I tend to follow 5 points. And they're actually really simple!!

Ask Questions

Do Your Research

"How Does It Move The Plot Forward?"

Consistency = Plausibility

Take Notes!!!

Lemme break it down:

1) Ask Questions

And I mean a LOT of questions. Have a little nagging annoying guy in your brain who is always asking you "why?" because 9 times out of 10, trying to answer those questions is going to help a lot in the long run. And occasionally it'll help you circle back to previous answers!

Here's an example that I vaguely recall from another post here on tumblr (alas i don't remember the username and i cannot find it, but if someone finds it please link it in replies!;;) :

"These Vampires have a problem where they can't be out in the day, but they want to stay within this city." "Well, why don't they just live in the sewers?" "They can't live in the sewers because there's vampire eating alligators down there." "Why are there alligators in the sewers?" "A vampire hunting organization trained them and put them down there." "Why did they put alligators in the sewers?" "To keep vampires out."

Boom, simple. Sometimes you only have to go a few layers deep, so don't worry about making complex systems or ten billion years worth of fictional history (unless you really REALLY want to for some reason).

But yeah, ask questions. Annoy yourself with them. It helps develop a lot, not just for story but also for characters! Entire stories can be created by asking yourself a single "What if" question.

What if food started raining from the sky?

What if we lived in a world where people were capable of controlling the elements?

What if a ghost started haunting a school to search for their killer?

Ask questions!!!

2) Do Your Research

I know, I know, "studying??? EW!!" But trust me this is also important. Study the genre(s) you want your story to be. Look at the things you enjoy, things you find interesting. Are you a history geek? Look at historical stories and pull inspiration from that. Do you like sea creatures? Then pop open the dozens of available resources and fun fact websites. Research your genre's common tropes and pitfalls. Look at what you really like about that genre and build off of that. Pull from anywhere and everywhere, even your own personal life/experience! EVERYTHING can be used to fuel the creative fire!

3) "How Does It Move the Story Forward?"

THIS is a VITAL question that you should ALWAYS ask yourself which is why it has its own little category. If you have a scene you feel is stagnant, or slow, or its just not coming to you, then it's probably because the story isn't moving forward. Go back, read it over, and ask yourself "is this moving the plot? is this progressing a character's arc? is this progressing the villain's plan? What is the audience supposed to take away from this? What is the point I am trying to make with this scene?"

Even when it seems like something isn't happening, a story is ALWAYS in motion. Keep that in mind!

4) Consistency = Plausibility

This is mostly for fantasy/sci-fi stories. Anything that has a magical or highly technological system. If Big Billy Jones can pick up a car and throw it at a group of thugs in chapter 3 of your story, then he sure as hell can do that in chapter 24 when he's facing off with Ghuthu'lock the Abyssal Horror. But if you dont WANT Ghuthu'lock going down to a mere mortal vehicular machine, then give him some power or ability that lets him totally negate Big Billy Jones' car flail attack. Don't just make Billy decide to NOT throw the car, when in any other situation he WOULD throw it.

In the funny words of Schaffrillas: "SHOOT THEM WITH THE DEHYDRATION GUN"

5) Take Notes!!!

This one helps a LOT. This will make your life so much easier, especially if you are dealing with a multi-chapter monster of a story. Taking notes will help you keep consistency, will keep your research in line, will help you visualize your thought process, AND with all those thoughts and plot points written down and out of your head, that will give your brain more space for NEW ideas. WRITE. DOWN. EVERYTHING. Even if it's 2AM and you're tired as fuck. If you get an idea, and you're like "Oh that's pretty good" WRITE IT DOWN IMMEDIATELY. Because you are GOING to forget, and/or the idea will NOT be the same the next time you remember it. Even if they're messy, you can organize them later!! Write it all down! Even if its just bullet points! They don't need to be fancy, they just need to get the point across and help you jog your memory!

Take notes!!!

Lastly, Be Willing to Change.

While writing any script, novel, whatever, you will find yourself bouncing around between phases like character creation, world building, plot writing, back to character creation, etc.

You'll be 7 chapters in and realize "i need a new character here" or "i don't like this aspect of the setting and its dragging everything else down..." Hell, an entire story's genre can wind up being changed if you feel the characters would be a better fit for a comedy instead of a drama (or vice versa!)

Don't be afraid to go back and fix it! Nothing is really "locked in" while you're writing! Creating ANYTHING is not a linear process, so be ready and willing to switch gears when you feel like you need to add/take away. Jump around, get messy with it, and most importantly, have FUN!!!

[narcjsistx]

— 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐄?, 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐄 𝐖𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍'𝐓 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒... | sae, kaiser, rin

SAE ITOSHI - for me, you never left

... wish you'd let me stay, i'm ready now 🎶

It was complicated for you to explain your relationship with the prodigy of Japan, the one who most commonly for you was Sae. Everyone looked at him for what he actually was, that is, the lethal midfielder of ReAl, the ace who refused to play for his country; but to you, he was simply the boy your father coached on your prefecture's soccer team. It had always been like this, even now that he had no longer lived in Japan for some years, even now that the crush you had kept secret from him for practically always was finally getting over you after years of suffering

You knew he had cut ties with everyone, from his Japanese teammates to his family, but nothing had ever changed with you. From the first day he arrived in Spain until today, your relationship had never had any problems: you spoke every day, called, everything. For you, Sae Itoshi had never left the another country to pursue his dream

He was jealous of you, even though he never admitted it. He was jealous if you told him that Rin had helped you repeat english that day, if you told him that a boy from your school had left a note in your locker on Valentine's Day. He didn't admit it, but you knew his habits, and you noticed

In fact, you could say that on the one hand your relationship had changed, but you couldn't say whether in a good way or not: your intimacy with each other. You didn't even know why Sae often called you at night, the black circles under his eyes that you immediately noticed, but he had never dared to tell you the reason for all this tiredness that was reflected on his body

"I'm damn tired of studying. In less than a few months I'll finally finish the session tho"

"You could come to Spain"

"I don't have the money to do it, you know. I would have to pay for the place and airfare"

“I simply asked you if you would like to come. I didn't mention money"

"As if you paid me everything"

"And that's what I'll do. I want to see you here in a month, understood?"

These were not gestures that friends made, especially considering the large sum of money involved, a sum that you would not have been able to pay him back even if you had worked all your life. Yet he wanted you there, to see you after a long time. Maybe your crush on him hadn't definitively passed, now that you were about to sleep in the same bed as him due to the arrangement he had made for you

MICHEAL KAISER - my first in everything

... face it, you want it, you crave it 🎶

It's not normal to be so physically attached to the one who was always the child who shoplifted from your mother's shop, all those years ago: it's not normal that he was your first kiss, your first serious fight, your first time. It is not normal that a person with whom you shared such things is not your boyfriend. And even less normal that he refuses human contact with everyone except you

You had decided together to share these important steps together, saying that you would never trust another to do something so important. And you never regretted it

But Micheal has always been like this, since he was a child: he started to hate physical contact right away, but with you he never had any problems taking your hand, hugging you, lifting your chin when you kept your gaze down. Him, who hates it when even Ness touches his shoulder, having no problem yelling at him

But with you Kaiser cried until dawn in your arms, so many times that you struggle to remember the exact number. With you he never had any problems treating you as if you were his wife, even though you weren't even his girlfriend. With you he never had any problems wrapping his arms around your waist, kissing you, making you decide which arm he should get his tattoo on. With you he has never been any problem in treating you as if you were his precious diamond, his impossible but possible blue rose. With you, it's always yes

"Every time I remember crying in your arms I feel like a piece of shit, absolutely pathetic. Yet I'm in your arms, and so I feel a little less sorry"

"I'm sorry when you can't vent, however. I would like to help you more often"

"You talk like you're not the only one I cry to. Maybe you're as pathetic as me, but I like it, you don't know how much. Continue to be, continue to be beautiful and a good girl for me, yeah?"

His team, Ness, his fans, everyone thought you were already a couple. You were, more or less, or at least the gestures represented this... but you had never talked about it, never

Yet, you wondered if you were really just friends, because friends don't end up in each other's bed at least once a month. Maybe you weren't friends, maybe he wasn't ready, maybe you weren't ready

Maybe he wasn't ready to tell you that you were always the one, from the first moment he laid his eyes on you. Maybe you weren't ready to tell him that you loved him. Maybe you were both simply afraid to tell the truth for fear that the other would take it badly. But you wanted and craved it

RIN ITOSHI - dating, but my heart is yours

... just tell me what you're doing with that other guy 🎶

After having dreamed all your life of becoming the girlfriend of Rin Itoshi, the genius of the school and the prefecture, you didn't know why you found yourself squeezing Nagi Seishiro's hand as you walked through the corridors. Even after confessing to Rin, you were now dating to none other than the lazy genius, your brother's best friend. And you were happy, more or less

You knew Rin from your shared classes, plus he had been playing in the field right below your class for a long time, giving you the chance to observe him a lot more. And so, you soon found yourself falling in love with him, perhaps a little too much for your brother's tastes, who however never said he was against it. You and Rin looked at each other often, both in the hallways and during class. Often his hand lingered a little too long on yours when he showed you how to write that particular word in english, perhaps feeling his hand on your thigh a few times during lessons was like dying and ending up in heaven

Maybe it wasn't normal for him to wait for you at the end of class to walk from your class to the gate together. Maybe it wasn't normal that he gave you his jersey with his name written on it

And at a certain point, you declared yourself. And you had kissed, but from that moment on neither of you had dared to do anything else. This way you understood that he wasn't really interested, otherwise he would have given you confirmation that he was your boyfriend... right?

And so a few months later, you had agreed to go on a date with Nagi, and you started to like him, you couldn't say otherwise: as lazy as he was, he was extremely sweet to you. And so you had decided to make it official, especially knowing that Reo would be happy about it

But making it official means saying it, proving it, even to the boy who nevertheless occupied a part of your heart that you knew Nagi couldn't occupy

But Rin had already noticed it for a while

"Are you happy? With him, I mean"

"I am. I certainly am"

"I'm happy about it. Enjoy this feeling"

"You say it like you don't know that I love you"

"And you act like you don't know how I feel"

Nagi was stable, maybe one day he could even become your husband if he continued to be so sweet; and honestly, you didn't mind the idea. But Rin had been making your heart unstable for years, even in moments when you thought you had everything under control, moments like this

And the feeling of adventure was something the lazy genius you knew couldn't give you, neither now nor when married, if it ever happened

✶ 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!

this shit is so ass im gonna cry (i want to delete it)

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every (Other) Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Day 30: The 'Will Voice' . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Something that a lot of bylers have noticed is that Mike uses an especially soft and caring voice to talk to Will. Even when he's angry at him, he's somewhat softer with him than other people. This isn't just some biased view - it's super clear when you compare how he talks to Will to how he talks to others, even El sometimes.

But this isn't a phenomenon that Bylers just made up.

Mike is often characterised as being an asshole, seen this way by a vast number of people in the general audience. They wish that Mike cold go back to the way he was in S2! Which I always found interesting -- the reason why a lot of people feel that he is out of character is largely due to the way that he acts around El and Will. It's not really got to do with any other characters. In fact, he's always been a bit bitchy towards Max and his parents and his sister, but no one got mad at him for that.

However, when he began to act differently toward Will and El in S3, that's when a lot more people began to say that he was out of character. The main difference between S2 and S3 + 4 is the fact that when Mike is not in a relationship with El or believes he isn't (like in S2 when he's comforting Will and in S4 when they're in his bedroom).

Now what does this mean for the Will voice? Well, the only indication that people get that he's kind to Will in S2 and S1 in particular is really down to the Will Voice. If it didn't exist during those crucial comforting scenes, and Finn just used his normal voice, they would not meet the same emotional marks that they need to. And it's super clear that he acts this way around Will and only him.

The writers/directors want Mike to show this vulnerable side of himself to Will for one simple reason -- to build romantic chemistry.

The Will Voice is just another one of those things to add to the pile of what makes Byler a believable pairing and what makes it believable that Will loves Mike and vice versa. It shows that Mike can be vulnerable around Will, shows that, even when his words may not say so, his tone really does.

But what if you still view Mike's scenes with Will and his dialogue with him as something similar to how he's always talked to others? Well, look at this comparison video to see the obvious differences.

Credit for this video goes to @bylerpining

It's always been impactful that Mike is the one speaking to Will like this. He's intentionally presented as this sort of aggressive, easily provoked person, but deep down there is care and kindness inside him. This is what made him so lovable in earlier seasons and what redeems him in later ones.

And when do the writers choose to show this more lovable side of him? With Will. With the aim of showing Will as his better half, someone who brings out his good side.

But, you may argue, the writers don't know about this! It might just be down to Finn's acting!

Then why did they write this scene so that it perfectly highlights the way that Mike talks to Will vs. other people?

Please go to this post to see the video of the scene

This scene is hard proof that the writers are aware of how Mike particularly talks to Will. When Mike is looking at him he talks this way. This scene literally shows that he got distracted by Will and is so highly focused on him that he accidentally forgets to warn everyone that Billy is about to attack.

Max literally has to ask what Mike is saying -- which is to emphasise how particularly soft-voiced he's being, and shows that Mike might even be unaware that he's being this way.

Of course, Mike yells straight after this, only when his head is finally whipped away and he stops focusing on Will. We can chalk his attitude up to him being afraid maybe. But there are so many moments in the show that have Mike showing a very loud and vocal response to being scared/ needing to alert someone. This is different.

All in all, when a character's good and kind side is brought out by another character, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to root for them as a pairing. And that's exactly what's happening here with the will voice.

[teddypoi-qd]

{ID - Series of tweets from @/grumpwitch about working in a public library:

"Things I have learned about the general public whilst working at the library: 1. A huge number of people under 20 can't face clocks, having grrown up with only digital ones.

2. Many people don't know how to spell "library." It's in our email address. This causes problems.

3. A disturbing number of young people don't actually know how book-lending at the library works. They assume it costs money! Teach your children about libraries!

4. Crime and thriller are basically the same thing in many cases. In fact, we have doubles of books because of that.

5. People use hidden codes like asterisks to mark which books they've read! The system will let you know if you've already borrowed something! Just ask.

6. If an automatic door breaks, people will walk into it instead of reading the sign at face height.

7. Libraries are a godsend for blind and deaf people and not just for audioboks. They can come for help with filling out forms and getting directions.

8. Some elderly people go through books at a TERRIFYING rate. They are to be feared and respected. 9. Some people are so afraid of computers that they will come to you with a query and then become upset if you offer to look it up on the compute instead of in a book.

10. Some poeple have never, ever used a telephone. Especially older women. Their husband did it for them.

11. The DWP fuck over everyone but especially the most vulnerable and I haven't met a single library worker who hasn't helped struggling library users with food or phone calls or even a cup of tea when it's cold and they can't afford heating.

12. The Job Centre regularly lie to people and like to tell them that they can get services at libraries that simply do not exist. We will try our very best to help you get what you should have been given at the Job Centre.

13. Most banks assume that everyone has an email now. In fact, some people have trouble proving they exist at all without one.

14. Library folk are good folk. We do this because we are passionate about it. We have to be.

15. Libraries aren't quiet anymore. They're community hubs now. They may have quiet study areas but most libraries are bustling with activity. Between kids' classes, singing and memory groups for those with Dementia, crafts sessions and noisy office equipment, don't expect silence.

16. Libraries remain the only place where you can spend hours in a publically-accessible building without being expected to spend money. Parents come to entertain their children for free on wet days. People in poverty come for a warm place to sit. Libraries are a haven.

17. Some people will go their entire lives only reading 2-3 authors but still have enough material to read a book every month. (See also: Danielle Steel, James Patterson, Clive Cussler, etc.)

18. A library lives and dies by the staff on the counter. You can have the best funding, all of the books and tech in the world but you'll only get footfall if your staff go above and beyond. Sometimes even that doesnt work, though and it's frustrating.

19. We're funded based on footfall. I've seen staff cry because we lost a youth group to a private hall that has fancier facilities like a cafe. We need all the footfall we can get.

20. Staff are hitting their head against walls volunteering to create events, classes and groups only to have them shot down because local councils don't understand social media or want to charge for it. I can't overemphasise just how much unpaid work staff do.

21. Most of the facilities are only working because staff pay out of pocket to get things working. My manager bought a new laminator when we couldn't afford one. She buys in colouring materials for kids. We sometimes bring in our own stationary. We even buy lightbulbs in.

22. Authors don't like to visit little libraries because they don't get paid. Bookstores often pay.

23. The "sexy librarian" trop has actually done a LOT of harm and has caused countless incidences of sexual assalt by men who can't tell the difference between porn and reality.

24. Old ladies keep libraries in business. Old ladies who read are the best. Old ladies who can tell you exactly which page features the most gruesome murder scene are the very best.

25. Library staff ALWAYS want to know what you thought of the book. We want to know what to recommend to others!

26. I'm not supposed to have favourite library users but I do: I love library couples, who bicker over each others' reading tastes or share books and then argue about the themes. I also love the autistic kids with special interests. I will crawl over hot coals to get you a book about the specific type of train you are interested in, tiny child. I will listen to you tell me about it in great detail. I will try to remember for the next time you come in.

27. The single best moment, for me, is when a library user graduates from Young Adult to Adult and suddenly the entire library is open tothem! They can read anything! No more tiny teen section! All of the classics! Sci fi! Horror! They often get overwhelmed.

28. And finally, because I've spammed you long enough and because my typos are mounting up, remember this: Library staff can overcome many challenges but Book Gods help you if you deprive us of caffeine. You don't want to see what happens then.

END ID}

[be-xkyy]

Hello! Since I read your Yandere stories, my head began to ask these questions, how many children do our yanderes want to have for us? Would they get a little jealous when our babies are feeding from us?

Hii Dear Anon!

First of all I'm glad you liked my content, thank you! And secondly, your question is very good Anon, although this will be a bit short, I hope you like it! 🖤

How many children would the yanderes have with reader? Would they be jealous of their children?

Tagging list: @kthehoeforfictionalmen ★ @dreamlessnight ★ @riawrld ★ @darkuni63 ★

Yandere Farmer Link

This man definitely wants lots of kids, five or six at the very least and about nine or ten at the most, I think he'd mostly prefer to have boys (since he thinks they're easier to handle) but he wouldn't mind having one or two girls, he has a big farm so he doesn't worry about space and he makes enough money from the cattle and crops to support them all.

As for being jealous of his children when they're breastfed or jealous in general, I don't think so. I honestly don't think he's the "Stay away son, she's mine" type but he also wouldn't let you have much time with the kids especially if they're boys since if you spoil them too much he thinks you'll make them "weak" and "mama's boys" which he doesn't want, so when they learn to walk he'll take them with him to do the farm chores.

"The kids are coming to work with me today. What if they're three and four? That's the perfect age to start getting to know everything, don't question me."

Yandere Cowboy Link

He would want at least 3 children, two boys and a girl, although he might want more, depending on his mood.

And regarding getting jealous when watching his child eat or in general, I think he would get a little jealous, although he would try to be playful and downplay it, saying things like "He's a little chubby, don't you think you feed him too much?" Or "Look, it's 1 PM, isn't it time for a nap? Come on, son, it's time to sleep." Of course you don't let him take the baby away, it's not his bedtime yet.

"Baby doll, when I was a child I was fed and put to sleep at any hour even if I didn't want to, and look at me, everything turned out fine!"

Yandere Dilf Link

This poor man wants to have two girls, two little princesses that look like you, he already has one son so you'd rather have girls but he doesn't care if one is a boy or if they both end up being boys (although not having a daughter that looks like you would break his heart) he's one of the few yanderes that promises to have only two children and keeps it. He doesn't force you to have more even if the ones you give birth to aren't the gender he wanted.

Well now I don't think he would get jealous of his children while breastfeeding, rather I think he would touch the baby's head while breastfeeding even leaving kisses on its chubby cheek, although seeing you breastfeeding might excite him a little (he has a thing for tits and milk, okay?) but he wouldn't try anything at that moment on the contrary he would try to hide it.

"You're so pretty little girl... look at that little nose and those round cheeks... you're so precious sweetheart... just like your mommy"

Yandere Sugar Daddy Link

Another one who wants to have two kids, only he wants to have a pair a boy and a girl, no more kids, just two. Not one more, not one less. I think he would have favoritism with his girl and the boy would be more attached to you as a result.

He would get jealous, he doesn't even want to hide it, although he would be more mean if the one you were breastfeeding was the boy, he would stare from the leather chair right in front of you, watch you rub the baby's head while he eats and make comments like "You don't rub my head when I suck on your boobs, don't rub his head either" or "You know there are high end milks on the market made from breast milk, why don't we try giving him that instead of your milk?" if you scold him or look at him the wrong way he would throw up his hands in surrender and say in an offended voice.

"Hey! Don't look at me like that! You should be grateful that I care, that brat will make your tits sag!"

[impish-baby]

Yandere Omega father x beta reader how would you perceive this?

I am thinking..single omega father that is completely out of mind, the only thing he knows for certain is that he loves you more than anything!

You're his gift, his pride and joy, the one blessing he was given out of years of strife

He doesn't mean to make things hard for you, truly, it's just that you're his baby! You shouldn't have to lift a finger around the house, don't worry, dad has it covered (and if you have a tough time getting a starter job because you're embarrassed that you don't know how to do basic tasks, you where silly for wanting to work in the first place)

Dating has been a no-go for him for a very long time, omega father needed all his attention to be on you, it's important for pups to have lots of care! Really, he just despises the idea of anyone else taking on a parental role in your life

If he were to ever start dating again, he's so nitpicky that there's rarely a second date if he even got through the first. He gets so anxious being away, his poor puppy is home by themselves :(( they have to be devested that he isn't there with them, he can just imagine them curled up in his nest waiting for him to get back like a good kid.. (insert shot of reader having the time of their life chugging energy drinks and watching all the movies that were 'too inappropriate'... jk, the weirdo probably has nanny cams everywhere)

He isn't above the worst kinds of manipulation to get you to stay with him

Sobbing, choking on air breakdowns that make you worry to the core.. bawling his eyes out about you not caring about him, hating him (you just wanted to visit a friend)

Escalating, especially if it's about you eventually moving out. He's desperate, fear clawing at his chest as he sobs that he should just die then, that he'll wither away because his precious baby doesn't want their dumb father anymore

Sometimes, the bouts swing into fits of anger that have you crying. He doesn't yell, not really, but who wants the only parent they have telling them that they gave up their entire lives for them and now you're throwing all that away? That it's your fault your dad suffered for years, didn't eat because he had to make sure you did, and here you are walking away like he means nothing to you, ungrateful brat..

He never means it, of course! It's just that.. dad gets really upset when you talk about things of that nature, sweetie, and it is true to an extent that he sacrificed everything for you, weren't you being a little selfish now that you think about it? Come here, he'll dutifully wipe away those yucky tears so you can go cuddle and forget what a stupid thing you said, it's like nothing ever happened! :D

[gotham-daydreams]

Hey! So, you mentioned that Batfam slowly shifts their obsession towards friend!reader, so what happens to the idol twins? Is the batfam's obsession temporary, like would they leave the idol duo alone, or would they kindap both idols and the reader?

That.. is an interesting question!

Honestly I see the batfam potentially using the duo as a means to get back to the reader as they begin to actually learn about them as a person, what they do, and so on! So the duo sort of get added onto the growing list of things that the family ultimately use against the reader. I don’t think they'd necessarily get kidnapped and moreso just emotionally manipulated under the pretenses of now being 'friends' with some of the family members. And in that way, I guess the roles almost reverse? Except the duo doesn't see the fakeness of it or its harder for them to catch since, well, they aren't as 'close' - and may even perceive it as concern since the family have supposedly 'known' the reader for a while as well, so it's only natural they'd want to know what's up with them and such.

Again, it's a process and it's not like a switch getting flipped - not really. From the perspective of the idols, it might just be how the family is - and sure, they know the family a little better now, but not necessarily for a long time. They may have even known about the family before then, but they're still learning about them as people, as friends and so on. Not to mention their own careers and all that - but that's getting a little too real about it.

Nevertheless, at least at the start of the transition they're sort of put in the reader's position and not as able to see the red flags presented to them - but mostly because they don't see it, and since it's during the process, they don't actually get a lot of the threats and so on that the reader did initially. They get it to a much lesser degree, imo.

However, as things progress and the family sort of fully shifts over - focus on them does lessen, but they aren't necessarily forgotten either. The twins mean a lot to the reader, and are important people in the reader's life, so they are moved from ways of getting information of the reader, and instead a way of getting to the reader. Still a means to an end, but in arguably a more dangerous sense. Especially because at this point, the reader knows, and the family knows that too. And they abuse the hell out of it.

Instead of being the main focus, the idols are used as the main risk that the family dangles over the reader's head. The reader knows what they're capable of, the family knows what they're capable of, and only one of those parties knows when they will actually act - not if.

In that way, the idols become one of the biggest things the family can put on the line if the reader does something they don't like, or doesn't allow them back into their life 'willingly'. And sure, the idols are, well, idols, but the family at that point is close enough to pull multiple strings any which way, not to mention more then rich enough to pull it off. Though, knowing this family, that means little.

Nevertheless, the answer is that the idols are used as a constant threat, something big for the reader to lose among other things - but still important enough for it to be notable. The idols are given less focus, but not left alone entirely - even if the reason for the continued focus has changed now and is for an entirely different purpose then when it started. Funnily enough, the for the idols, the 'friendship' they have with some of the family members might even be more genuine this way.

No one is kidnapped, but the reader is trapped.

[tsuki-no-yomi-project]

🌻 Mitsuki's (Canon mainline) answer 🌙

🌧️ "When outside during the rain, do you use a raincoat, an umbrella, or something else? Do you enjoy rain?"

🌙Mitsuki: "Rain is a gift of nature, I'm not afraid of them :D" *proceeds to get soaked*

----

🍳 "Are you a good cook? Do you enjoy cooking? What's your favorite thing to cook?"

🌙Mitsuki: "Hmmm.. I learned some cooking during my last part time, but I have yet to let others try it so I'm not sure if it's good or not. I did help Kina and Reishi to cook for Itachi-kun though.. Favorite dish to cook? Hmm let's see.. I'd like to make something that would make Itachi-kun smile :)"

-----

🧼 "Do you prefer to take a shower during the morning or evening? Do you like taking baths? What's your favorite scent of shower gel?"

🌙Mitsuki: "Usually early in the morning since I'd need to tidy my hair after sleep! However if I feel particularly dirty, and I have the chance, I'd shower before dinner too!"

----

❌ "Would you do something that someone told you not to do? Why? Is there someone you'd actually listen to more than everyone else?"

🌙Mitsuki: "Ahahahhahaa..." *glance nervously at Itachi and Kisame* "Erh, I.. did.. hopefully I won't do it again?"

Author Ance: *gives a doubtful gaze*

🌙Mitsuki: "I guess, I do listen to Itachi-kun more than anyone else. I mean, he's technically the leader, and the smartest, calmest, most knowledgeable about shinobi stuff among us?"

Author Ance: "You listen to your heart the most, admit it.. -.- "

----

🏳️ "What will make you give up?"

🌙Mitsuki: "If.. my action or whatever I decided to do will put anyone i care about in danger.. and I find no other way to go about it.."

----

📖 "What kinds of books do you read? Do you have a lot of time to read?"

🌙Mitsuki: "I'm trying to catch up on the history and human developments, also learning more things about Shinobi. I also read lots of medical books in case I can find something that helps with Itachi-kun's symptoms... Time? I guess whenever my task is done and Itachi-kun or Kisame don't need me around. I do get times like that, quite often, honestly."

----

⛸️ "What's your favorite kind of sport? Do you follow sports closely or don't care at all?"

🌙Mitsuki: "What is sports? Oh, you mean those games that children plays? I like to watch children play, seeing them so spirited and burdenless heals me :)"

----

😷 "How often do you get sick? Do you stay at home when sick or do you end up going outside to, say, get some groceries? If you go outside, would you wear a mask?"

🌙Mitsuki: "I don't get sick. It's a blessing since it means I can take care of those who are sick without worry of getting infected, or spreading the infection further."

----

🥼 "Do you have to wear a uniform somewhere? If yes, how do you feel about it? If no, what kind of uniform would you love to wear?"

🌙Mitsuki: "I do need to wear ritualistic outfit during my Miko duty, especially purification and rituals. It's heavy, and there's so many layers so it's really thick. Thankfully, I only need to summon them and not actually putting them on layers by layers like back in my youth."

Ance: "What are you saying, you had your retainers help you with that..."

🌙Mitsuki: "Still taking too much time and tiring. Anyways, favorite... now since I'm representing Amaterasu-sama, my uniform is representing the sun with a minor moon symbolism, but I do miss my clan's old moon-themed uniform."

----

🥂 "How do you celebrate you accomplishments?"

🌙Mitsuki: "FOOD"

----

🛴 "What's your preferred way of getting somewhere - own car, public transport, a bicycle, or something else? How well do you follow the traffic rules?"

🌙Mitsuki: "Uuuuh, we travel by feet? What are.. those? I haven't yet seen them. I guess I'll ask Itachi-kun about it. OH! I do ride wagons and carts tho! But i'm not the one in control!"

----

🕰️ "What do you use to check what time it is?"

🌙Mitsuki: "The... position of the sun and moon?"

----

🥰 "What would make you feel happy and loved?"

🌙Mitsuki: "I've.. never thought about it.."

Author Ance: *pats*

🌙Mitsuki: "But I guess, I'll be happy if I can help those around me. Especially Itachi-kun.. I want him to leave no regret in his limited time left.."

----

🐇 "Do you believe in other dimensions?"

🌙Mitsuki: "Well, Takamagahara exist! What's that? That's the spiritual world, residence of the Kamigami (Gods). Oh, other than that, there's also Yomi (Underworld) where some souls are being judged, and.. there's also the world in between, where unresting soul goes, especially those with unfinished business, you know.."

----

🎺 "What kind of music do you mostly listen to? Do you know how to play an instrument, and if not, which one would you want to learn to play?"

🌙Mitsuki: "Ohhhhh I had lots of time to learn them, and I love music. I do sing as part of my ritualistic duty, and I learn various instrument in my free time since I tend to get bored at the temple. So far, I've learned flute, Koto, Shamisen, Banjo.. and the weirdest of them all is actually.. leaf flute! Do you know you can play music with leafs?"

Author Ance: "Basically she is a traditional bitc-" *bonked

🌙Mitsuki: "As for the type I listen to.. uh.. anything I can hear? Those played by street performers, children song, folk song. OH! And enka sang by those dancer and performers. I guess it does sounds like oldies for the people in the present but.. I have yet to hear any modern music as of now! The children song and nursery rhymes, maybe? There are some new ones."

----

💽 "Do you collect anything? Why?"

🌙Mitsuki: "I collect the letter I exchanged with Aida-chan! I miss her a lot! Other than that, I don't particularly collects anything. We travel a lot and it's important to keep light!"

----

🧋 "What's your go-to thing to drink? Do you prefer cold or hot drinks?"

🌙Mitsuki: "Depends! Cold drink on a hot day, and hot drinks on cold day! Oh but generally, I enjoy trying different types of tea!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author Ance: Aaaaand that concludes today's interview. Don't hesitate to ask her more, look, she's elated to answer!

Mitsuki: *nods vigorously*

🌻 random in-character questions

an ask game where, instead of replying from your perspective, you answer as if it's your original character/muse/self-insert/etc. answering the question ✨

🌧️ "When outside during the rain, do you use a raincoat, an umbrella, or something else? Do you enjoy rain?"

🍳 "Are you a good cook? Do you enjoy cooking? What's your favorite thing to cook?"

🧼 "Do you prefer to take a shower during the morning or evening? Do you like taking baths? What's your favorite scent of shower gel?"

❌ "Would you do something that someone told you not to do? Why? Is there someone you'd actually listen to more than everyone else?"

🏳️ "What will make you give up?"

📖 "What kinds of books do you read? Do you have a lot of time to read?"

⛸️ "What's your favorite kind of sport? Do you follow sports closely or don't care at all?"

😷 "How often do you get sick? Do you stay at home when sick or do you end up going outside to, say, get some groceries? If you go outside, would you wear a mask?"

🥼 "Do you have to wear a uniform somewhere? If yes, how do you feel about it? If no, what kind of uniform would you love to wear?"

🥂 "How do you celebrate you accomplishments?"

🛴 "What's your preferred way of getting somewhere - own car, public transport, a bicycle, or something else? How well do you follow the traffic rules?"

🕰️ "What do you use to check what time it is?"

🥰 "What would make you feel happy and loved?"

🐇 "Do you believe in other dimensions?"

🎺 "What kind of music do you mostly listen to? Do you know how to play an instrument, and if not, which one would you want to learn to play?"

💽 "Do you collect anything? Why?"

🧋 "What's your go-to thing to drink? Do you prefer cold or hot drinks?"

[menlove]

youve probably answered this before but what DO you think is the most realistic version of what went down?? like do you think paul misinterpreted john's hints or that john never made it clear enough to paul how he felt? i know theres no way to know but you have such a good grasp on their personalities and this seriously might haunt me forever lkadjf

i actually don't think i have ! i wrote a lil speculative Thing about what things would look like if paul were queer and closeted (which is what i think) and that interpretation but never specifically this question but...

this is long and rambly but have my thoughts lmfao

basically To Me i do think they had some sort of sexual relationship. to me it's honestly the most likely scenario given the..... everything. their interactions with each other, some of their songs about each other ("i used to hold you in my arms"), the way things blew up so spectacularly, etc. and my reasoning there is mostly that. we know already that they had really loose sexual boundaries with each other. they jerked off together, they fucked women in the same room together & allegedly together as well. and already just those two/three things constitute as a sexual relationship, but not smth they would've seen as one.

but i do think they did more than that. i mean, it doesn't really matter if they did more than that, the rest of what i'm gonna speculate stands even if all they ever did was jerk off together and fuck women together, but like... aside from the like Mountains of evidence that there was something there, i just think it makes sense w their personalities. john isn't the type of person to have self-restraint and i don't think paul, especially when he was younger, would've turned john down. i think if john was into men (which he was, we know this) and if he was into paul (incredibly likely) then he would've made a move. and i think if he made a move and got rejected he would have raised hell, and that never happened.

i think they probably started doing shit together (again, the extent of that is debatable) and they absolutely did Not think of it as being anything queer. i couldn't tell you the mental loops they tied themselves in there, but i have Some thoughts just based on who they are. i think john probably passed it off as like "a hand's a hand, a mouth's a mouth" type of thing (which is hilariously something yoko talks about him saying in her audio diary during the white album sessions). and i think paul probably saw it (& any other things he was doing with men, if he did) as something fun that feels good and isn't something he needs to like look into deeply. i think neither of them would've thought of themselves as queer, bc they probably thought of queerness as very binary- you're either gay or you're straight. and they both were into women (.....ostensibly) so they couldn't be gay. i think john like realized, on some level, that he was queer and Hated it about himself for a very long time and only started coming to grips with it towards the end of his life. i think paul eventually came around to it but by that time he was married to linda (& if rumors are to believed, possibly having threesomes with her and men lmfao) & i don't think he would Ever want to come out publicly even if he's out privately (which i do think he is).

so why didn't they get together? why is paul so insistent that john was straight and not in love with him? i think they just genuinely never talked about it. ever. like i don't think they had that conversation. if neither of them were gay and their sexual relationship was just john and paul things, there wasn't any need to talk about it. queerness was more acceptable for the young. not in an open sort of way, absolutely not, but in the way that they could tell themselves they'd grow out of it, they were just messing around, etc.

i think things got harder when brian died- he died queer, alone, and in a situation that a lot of people thought was suicide. and ofc, we know the band didn't think it was suicide, and i don't think it was either, but that's the kind of thing that sticks in the back of your mind. esp if you're like john who had a lot of mystical/magical thinking. i think it was a bit of a wake up call. time to grow up. i think they both thought they were each the Only one dealing with actual queer feelings & attraction to the other and were soooo sure the other one was just straight and fucking around. which probably hurt, quite a bit, but wasn't something they wanted to look at anyway.

and when john got with yoko and got serious with her, i think that was the bubble bursting. cynthia was different. they got together so young, he never made her a priority, he cheated on her constantly, belittled her, didn't have a place for her by his side bc he carved that space out exclusively for paul. and you can tell that just by the amount of quotes paul has about john marrying yoko being the catalyst, about it being time to grow up, etc which is insane considering he was already married and so were george and ringo. for years. so it was something deeper than that. and it's bc he was actually taking yoko seriously. paul's spot as john's primary partner got filled by a woman. who john was genuinely in love with, not like cynthia which was a marriage fueled by the age old tale of an unplanned pregnancy and comphet. and paul can't argue with that. like....... if he viewed what they were doing as messing around as kids, with john being straight and him being the one pining, he wouldn't want to fuck up john's chance at a Normal Straight Love. if he were a girl, he could, but he wasn't. what he Could do was match him and grow up too. cue the immediate pivot to get married and have children, eventually fulfilled in linda.

but i don't think he expected the band to implode just bc they stopped being so close in whatever manner. but it did. along with other reasons, obviously- there's a million reasons the band broke up, but i think they could've weathered it if they had kept the closeness they'd had at the beginning. or if they'd been single or even if they'd just kept viewing each other as their primary partner aside from their wives.

i think they both came to terms with what they actually meant to each other in the 70s, but they never actually... told each other. what we have from john is jealous guy, which paul was allegedly told was about him, and that demo version of real love that paul never even heard where he laments about him having a baby/farm and how he used to hold him. there's also (just like) starting over, but that one's easy to see as being for yoko too and paul wouldn't have thought twice about it. then you have now & then and real love, which were on that damn tape for paul :( like he literally didn't hear them until after john died and we know he likes the idea that now & then is about him but even then he doesn't sound totally convinced

for paul we have a lot. but a lot of his like more vulnerable songs were only released after john died. like here today, obviously, but there's also some pretty telling ones that john never would've heard (like best friend, which he played live, but wasn't on any album until 2018. or a more of a Stretch of one but i 100% think is about john, hey diddle, which was kept off ram and only released in 2001).

so like i think they very much both came to grips with the fact that they had been in love with each other, but they never really.... thought that could be returned. so ofc paul's going to say shit like how he likes the theory that john was in love with him or wrote now & then about him. but he doesn't believe it, because to him john was Genuinely straight and he was the weird one. and vice versa. i think i saw a more recent thing from him coming around more on the idea of john being bi, but honestly i think that's just hard for him to come to grips with bc what the hell are you supposed to do with that? like yeah, he was into men, possibly even romantically, on a genuine level, just not him? that's hurtful. i don't think he wants to think of that option. bc that's more likely to him than the idea that john was in love with him and hiding it the whole time. which is also heartbreaking. bc then it's just a tragedy of circumstances and missed chances- which is what i think it was. and neither of those routes are something i think he wants to consider, so john has to be straight in his mind.

but if he's coming around on that, he's probably coming around on one of those two options. i hope it's the latter bc the idea that he'd think even now that john never loved him is just so fucking sad. and considering his comments about now & then, as well as the lyrics video for now & then, i really do think the latter is more likely.

anywayyyyy tl;dr i think they fucked around sexually in Some Way, never said a single thing romantically, both came to terms w their feelings in the 70s but by then it was too late and they didn't think the other one would reciprocate anyway, and now paul's been trying to come to grips w the ambiguity of their relationship for the last 40+ years.