#Eren comfort

[forevery0urs]

Domestic Sundays with Eren 💗

You wake up ,bedsheets all messed up,some pillows are thrown on the floor. You reach over for Eren and he’s not there. You stretch your body before getting up from the bed.

You walk out of the room and walk downstairs to the kitchen. You find Eren’s back facing you, setting up the table.

You quietly walk up behind him,wrapping your arms around his waist. “Good morning,mama”Eren says as he feels your touch.

He turns around the face you. “Good morning,my love”You say smiling at him softly. He leans down to kiss you but you back away.

“Um hello? Did i do something wrong?” He pouts. “No it’s cause i haven’t brushed my teeth” You laugh. “Does it look like i give a single fuck?” He raises his eyebrow,Grabbing you by your jaw and pulling you in for a kiss.

You giggle at his action. You pull away smiling. “Did you love yesterday night” He grins,kissing your cheek.

“Of course i did. I’m surprised i’m standing right now” You giggle softly. He smiles “It’s okay,i can fix that”

You laugh as you walk to the bathroom to brush your teeth. “Are we staying in today or going out?” Eren asks from the kitchen.

“We can go to that one restaurant place for lunch and for dinner we can order takeout” You say as you walk out of the bathroom.

He serves your plate (filled with your fav breakfast ofc) “Ugh i love you so much. You’re hot,rich and can cook” You groan. He looks at you offended not really. “Is that all i’m good for? What about my personality?” He jokingly puts a hand over his heart.

You laugh “Eh it’s an somewhat good personality” You say as you smush his cheeks together to kiss him. He laughs,leaning in.

____

Eren took you on a cute little lunch date around 2:30 to this garden restaurant and now you guys are sitting on the couch at home,making out(it’s 7:30pm)

You’re straddled on his lap, kissing him passionately.His hands rest on your hips,squeezing them time to time.

He slides his tongue into your mouth,making you whine a bit. You pull away,breathing heavy.

“Mi amorcito , maybe we should order the food already.” You say softly as you play with his hair,kissing his neck. leaving a few marks

He groans,his hands gently rubbing your ass. “Fuck,mama…you can’t just stop mid make out to remind me to order food” He chuckles.

You raise an eyebrow at him “Are you telling me what i can and can’t do?” He laughs. “Of course not,my love. Who am i to tell you” You smile,going back to kissing him again.

Sundays are the days he waits for the whole week because he gets to spend it with his favorite girl in the whole universe💗

[icameheretoreadstuff]

POV: wishing this happened between you.

You sat curled up into his couch as you tried to watch the movie but you couldn’t help but to slowly look over to him and study his gorgous face. He was so dreamy, you felt like you were melting when he looked into your eyes.

Everything he said to you was so charming it made your heart swoon, when he called you pretty your heart sang, when he called you babe your heart melted.

He slowly looked over to you and for a moment you locked eyes, you could feel your heart melt when he smiled.. the smile you wanted to be able to see everyday, your cheeks burned as you quickly looked back at the movie smiling, hiding it behind your hand, feeling your heart burn.

You could feel your heartbeat loud in your chest, you slowly exhaled as you sat closer to him. You looked up into his beautiful eyes and melted, he slowly cupped your cheek, stroked it slowly.

His dreamy eyes were staring back at you, you wanted to just tell him please let me see you smile everyday. You felt overwhelmed and overjoyed at the feeling of him being here next to you, so close to you that you could smell his perfume. You swear you could actually cry, you want him so badly..

[strawberrybuni]

WHEN YOU'RE STRUGGLING

Characters: Levi, Hange, Eren, Armin, Erwin, Mikasa, Reiner, Jean, Annie, Sasha, Miche, & Yelena Summary: You've been struggling with your mental health, and your lover is here to make it aaaall better CW: LOTS of comfort, fluff, this touches on a lot of depression related things so pls keep that in mind in case that's triggering! A/N: request complete! I hope you enjoy and just know you are loved and I hope this brings you and everyone comfort :)

[erenthology]

Drabble but I had to make it pretty :3

Eren is pretty nosy. When he visited your dorm for the first time, he went through everything in your room, shamelessly. You were lying half naked waiting for him, meanwhile this dude was smelling your perfumes.

“‘Hmm, what’s this? ‘Who’s this in the picture with you?”

“His name is Dave, he was my prom date.” you tell him, growing irritated.

“He’s ugly.” He puts the photo facing down and joins you on bed but sits down instead of pushing your head into the mattress fucking you raw. “are your sheets linen? Is that what you prefer?”

You stare wordlessly, this was not how you expected the infamous collage star to to act when invited into your dorm. You usually meet at his place because he insists to always pick you up and have you spend the night at his. So when you asked him if he wanted to come to your place you instead, you could swear you saw his eyes sparkle.

You put your feet on each side of his shoulders which gets him to glance down in between your legs. “Wow, you want to fuck me so bad.” he tilts his head to the side as if to get a better look.

He’s on his knees, hovering over you as you’re lying down with your legs open “Keep talking like that and I’ll find somebody else to fuck me.”

He raises an eyebrow, “keep saying stuff like that and you’re gonna get punished.”

“By who?” you clench your thighs.

His eyes track the dirty motion of your hips and licks his lips as if to taste you. “only me. why, is there someone else on your mind?”

“I mean, dave did hit me up recently. he’s grown quite attractive.��� you like being petty.

Not even a crack of a smile. “You know, when you say stuff like that, it makes me want to fuck you silly.” he delicately strokes your cheek.

Huffing out a breath, you’re about to tell him to go ahead but get interrupted by him tracing your lips with his fingers. “Your lips turn down at the edge,” he smiles, “you have the perfect pout.”

Your breath hitches in your throat, not really used to being treated like this. Eren keeps surprising you and yet you find ways to ignore it. But you have a feeling that he’s fully aware of your antics and is being patient with you.

“So?” you dart out your tongue around his finger. “want to see it wrapped around something other than your finger?”

He adjusts his boner and pushes your legs down around his waist. Gazing into your eyes, he calmly speaks. “you have no idea how much I crave you. every second of every day.”

Swallowing hard, you feel the tension in the room about to snap. He lowers his body and pushes your legs up, folding you in half with his body weight.

Face to face, Eren looks at your searchingly. He’s waiting for you to kiss him, he wants you to show him you want him. So your hands reach for his face, and you brush your lips against his. He sighs a breath of relief, as if he’s been holding it it this whole time, and kisses you back.

Feeling content, he draws back and watches as you’re unable to open your eyes for a few moments afterwards. Eren smiles and releases your legs, then viciously hugs you and starts rocking you back and forth.

“You’re so cute.” he squishes you.

“stop, I’ll cut your teddy bear the next time I’m over Eren I swear.” you threathen harmlessly. He gasps, “first of all, Eldy is not a teddybear he’s my son.” he jokes back. Laughing at his antics, you realize you’ve gotten further involved with him than you might’ve realized.

The inside jokes, he kissing and unnecessary cuddling. As if noticing you’re drifting away, he puts you on his lap and grabs your laptop. “Let’s watch a something.” he strokes your thighs.

“Dibs” you both say on the same time. Turning to face him, you yell “supernatural” again, at the same time.

He stares intensely, “oh baby, you were so made for me.” he draws out enthusiastically. “Yeah yeah, just put it on.” you turn your face back to hide your blush.

Your bodies are tangled together, he holds you as if you complete him. Legs in between yours, arm around your torso, you’re surrounded by him. “Eren, did something happen?”

You can tell this makes him happy. “you care about me.” he smiles cheekily and kisses your cheek. So that’s the reasons he just wants to hold you.

“So, what’s wrong?” you forcefully let out. It feels a bit uncomfortable but you can tell he’s not uncomfortable at all. “Don’t worry about it, just let me hold you.”

“Fine.” you don’t know why you make it sound like you’re irritated, you’re not. But Eren doesn’t say anything, you have a feeling he’s learning how you work and actually understands you. Either way, you let him hold you.

[tenjikyu]

why is the eren jeager tag full of smut it’s legit so damn BORING 😭 i’m going on looking for quality content and dick/pussy is SHOVED INTO MY FACE. ffs do you not want to just hold the poor dude? idk man. DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE SHITTY MODERN AU ISTG

[whtepony]

so real - reiner braun

reiner braun x gn reader

hurt/comfort? but just the comfort - not proofread

listening to jeff buckley and i’m having reiner thoughts again because he’s the loml. this was meant to be a super super short drabble (like one paragraph) but it got away from me 🙃 pt. 18 of acquainted out TOMORROW i promise! but for now have this

now playing: so real - jeff buckley

thinking about ex boyfriend reiner

ex boyfriend reiner who calls you drunk in the middle of the night, three months since the last time you’d seen him, and practically begs you to come pick him up from the bar. who you can barely understand between the sound of people talking loudly (jean and eren, you realize) and what must be the wind. he’s really standing outside in 33° weather?

ex boyfriend reiner who visibly relaxes when you really show up, shoulders dropping and the creases between his brows disappearing. who smiles drunkenly at how concerned you seem to be - no, he doesn’t know where his jacket is, or where he left his keys, but he does remember the times you’ve done this before. one helping the other into a car after a few too many, the two of you usually laughing at whoever was having trouble walking in a straight line. your arms thrown around each other. well, not now, he guesses, but it’s close enough, isn’t it?

it’s not, he realizes quickly. he can’t keep his hands off you, no matter how many times you gently push his hands back into his lap. “reiner, quit it,” you say, brows furrowed as you gently shrug his head off your shoulder. the way you say his name is different and he hates it. he looks like he’s almost pouting for a moment, before leaning back against the headrest and dozing off for the rest of the car ride. he only opens his eyes when he hears the click of the gear shift being pushed into park, opening the passenger door and falling back into his seat at the seatbelt’s resistance against his chest. you breathe out a soft laugh, much to his delight, and reach over to push down on the buckle’s button. “can’t really go anywhere like that, yknow.”

he doesn’t quite realize you’ve brought him to your apartment until you’ve sat him down on your couch, and he’s elated. he glances around the room, familiar pictures still framed on the wall. you didn’t take them down? “i uh- i didn’t know where your new place was, so i figured you could crash here for the night,” you said quickly, walking off to the kitchen before quickly reappearing with a couple bottles of water. he thanks you softly and chugs a majority of the first bottle before twisting the cap back on and rubbing his temple. your fingers twitch, wanting to reach out and rub his shoulder like you always would. or did. or whatever.

you stare at him for longer than you think you should before standing, clearing your throat and mumbling something about bringing him a blanket when he grabs the hem of your t-shirt. you turn, met by his hazel eyes, and he looks just utterly distraught. “please- please,” he whispers, “just c’mere, just for a- for a second.” he sounds like he’s on the verge of tears, eyes pleading with you desperately. “don’t want you to go.” and how could you ever deny him? it feels like your body moves on it’s own, taking two steps toward him before he reaches out with both arms and pulls you down into his lap.

you yelp in surprise, tensing up at the sudden proximity, but he’s wrapping both of his big arms around your middle and burying his face into your neck, breathing in deeply. god, how he missed your smell. he sighs contentedly and you relax, a hand hesitantly coming up to rake through his hair. soft as ever, you think. “missed you,” he mumbles against your skin, gripping your shirt in his hands like you’ll disappear if he lets go.

“missed you more, rei.”

[witchyu]

A real shame these scenes didn't get animated

[andreaheartscats]

what i think aot characters would like about you

characters included: Levi, Eren and Armin

Levi

We are all familiar how Levi is a clean-freak. Well if you smell good (that sounds so wrong like, hello? sorry about that yall lol) he would go absolutely crazy for you.

In public he would scoot just a little closer to you, just something subtle that isn't too noticeble. But in private? He is aaaaall over you.

He may be known as the strongest solider but with you he is just all cuddely even if he hates to admit it. He just loves how clean you are and how good you smell.

If you pay attention to the little things he does!!!!

He is not big on showing affection, so he does it in some tiny little ways to show you that he cares. And if you pick up on those, he would fold IMMEDIATELY.

Loves when you respect his time and privacy. Even if he enjoys your company, he still needs sometime on his own just like all of us do.

He will marry you right on the spot if you don't get offended by his sarcasm.

Eren

He loves when you're not shy, like in public if you cling onto him while the two of you walk together. UGH. melting right then and there.

(season 4 eren) If you talk a lot. Omg, he just loves listening to your voice. The way your eyes would sparkle while talking about something you're so passionate about, he just loves that so much about you. He doesn't talk much himself which brings you to the question if he even is listening to you?

Oh but trust me, he is. Eren is just waiting for you to finish so he could ask you all the questions he has about the topic that you love so much, which of course, brings you to more explaining and talking

Foodie. He is actually such a foodie and loves when he has someone to try new foods with, not just foods. New things in general. If you're up for it, he would be the happiest man on earth.

If you like ro cuddle, or just like physical touch un general Eren wouldn't leave your arms. EVER.

Sleeping? he is laying on your chest or holding you close to him. Sitting and studying? He would cling around you like a little child.

Armin

Armin is a lover boy in my eyes, so he would love everything about you no matter what.

But if we are being specific, he really likes that you actually listen to him and make him feel heard.

Oh and he absolutely loves helping you, like if you have any troubles with understanding something, he would be there to help you and explain it to you. Also if you're just interesed in some topic you don't know much about, he would gladly and i mean GLADLY tell you all about it.

He needs someone who is curious just as he is. And if you are like that? He is on his KNEES for you.

Other than spending time with you and talking about whatever comes to yalls mind, he also loves just sitting in comfortable silence with you. Not the one when you have no idea what to say, so you're all just like "uhmm" , no. I mean the one where you just enjoy eachothers company for sometime without a care in the world, and he loves that he can do that with you.

[tokensonsaturn]

Do anime fanfic writers only know how to write smut? Like I’m looking for some fluff or fuck it some angst and all I see is smut

[forevery0urs]

Depression is a bitch.

all you want to do is lay down all day and sleep. It truly sucks when you’re having a episode. It’s been going on for a few days. You haven’t been to work in 4 days. You don’t even have enough motivation to get up from the bed.

The good thing is that you have the best fiancé to help you through this episode.

“Baby,it’s morning. I made your favorite food.” Eren says as he gently rubs your back.

“I can’t get up” you mumble quietly,feeling yourself sink more into the mattress.

“you didn’t eat dinner yesterday.I want you to at least eat breakfast.” He speaks to you in a soft tone. you don’t answer him so he gets up and leaves the room.

you pull the covers over your face and close your eyes,wishing that you wouldn’t feel this way anymore.

You hear eren’s footsteps. “Sweet girl,can you sit up for me” You hear him place something down on the nightstand.

you sigh quietly and pull the covers off of yourself,sitting up.

Eren’s heart cracks a little at the sight of your red eyes and dull smile. “Here baby,take a bite” He gently brings the food to your mouth.

You open your mouth since that’s the least you could do. “Listen, i was thinking that later we could go to the mall or the 99 since i know you love that store a lot” He smiles at you.

“I can’t…. I just want to lay down and sleep.” You tear up a little. You bite your food and chew quietly.

“I understand but if i don’t get you out of this house then you’ll never get through this episode. I want my sweet girl to get through this so we can continue to plan our wedding.” He speaks gently, wiping any tears that falls down your face.

“Do you want to tell me what triggered the episode?” He asks softly, giving you more food.

“It’s just- I-..” You feel your voice crack. He rubs your hand, patiently waiting for you to continue.

“I feel like i’ve been such a burden to you. With all the wedding planning i feel like i’m taking time away from you and practice. I feel like it’s such a dumb thing that can trigger stuff like this but it just has been making me feel bad and not talking about it made it even worse.” Your lip quivers a bit.

“Mama,you could never be a burden to me. I choose to not practice as much so that i could plan our wedding because i want it to be perfect since it’s the only wedding we’re ever going to have. Fuck what the coach thinks about me missing practice. You are more important than anything else. You’re my number one everything. I love you so much and i’ll help you get through this ,baby and of course i know it’s not going to go away in a second but i’m here to help guide you through it. I’m here for you no matter what.” He rants gently,reassuring you.

You hug him,sobbing softly against his shoulder. He hugs you back, whispering comforting words into your ear, letting you to let everything out.

After a few minutes you let go. “Do you want to go out or stay in and watch movies in the bed?” He kisses your cheek. “If you offered to take me to the 99 then i guess we have to go.” You smile.

He chuckles. “Of course baby,anything for you.Do you need my help to help you shower?”

You nod,smiling. He walks over to the bathroom, turning on the tub and letting it fill up. He comes back to pick you up.

He carries you bridal style and takes you the the bathroom. He gently takes off your clothes.

“Thank you for being patient with me,hermoso”

He gently scrubs your body . “Anything for you”

~~~~~~~~

“Eren, comportarse.” You whisper scream at him after he threw a ball at your head. He chuckles, wrapping his arms around your waist as you push around the cart.

“Next time i’ll throw it at your ass so i can see it j-“. “Eren!” You smack his head,pushing him off of you.

“I’m just joking,Baby!” He says lifting his hands up,smiling and just following you around.

[jeankirstein4ever]

Like a Tattoo - Modern! Connie S.

❁˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖❁˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚

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A/N : Match up for @marsthegoblin Ohmygod I love these so much, also requests are open and I missed writing so much

❁˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖❁˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚

You and Connie met at a thrift shop in downtown Shiganshina, you had both been picking through some women’s jeans , and in a questionably motivated act of kindness he had conceded the one pair of Carharts, “you go ahead and take ‘em baby” with a big smirk plastered across his face.

He had asked for your insta, and with a bit of convincing you had let him take you on a date.

After the first date it didn’t take much convincing to stay around, constant thrift store trips and house parties at Jeans and Erens, “no fucking way you’re with her, Connie, did he put you up to something - blink twice if your in danger.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, ‘ren. You like me right baby, you promise?”

Connie loves to smoke, even if you don't, he’ll role up a couple and lay in your lap, letting you trace your fingers across his tattoos, the feeling of your hands over the raised skin sending chills down his spine.

“Thank you baby, love when you do that.”

His head positioned so perfectly in between your thighs, the air thick with smoke, making you question if you're all that sober; tilting his head to meet your eyes directly, eyes red and a little wider than usual.

He licks his lips a little, glossy and parted; he pushes himself up by his elbows to your mouth, nipping at your bottom lip, “love you so damn much.”

After a couple months he’ll go with you to get matching tattoos; local shop he had become a sort of regular at, a heart with his initial on your hip and the same with your initial on his hip.

He’ll take you home, and make sure you take good care of it, “here baby, let’s get some disinfectant on that.” He pushes you up on the counter, tugging the waist of your jeans down, to apply the cleansing gel to your skin.

Its cool on your skin, easing the incessant itching of an open wound, “feel better? I know its uncomfortable but you did so good.”

He finishes cleaning the tattoo, leaving his hand on your hip, he leans into you, his breathe running across your neck and ear “I like knowing whoever else fucks you has to see me on you, now” its said as a joke - partially, he laughs as he says it atleast, nipping at your ear.

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Cleopatra - Frank Ocean

BURN - ¥$, Kanye West

How Much is Weed - Dominic Fike

Rebirth of Slick - Digable Planets

TEMPTATION - Joey Bada$$

Time To Shine - 408 Darwin

Jezebel - Sade

Some - Steve Lacy

Self - Cleo Sol

Paper Soldier - Brent Faiyaz

Agora Hills - Doja Cat

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[thestartax]

Eren Jaeger x Reader

Synopsis: You get injured attempting to help Eren

Tropes: Hurt/Comfort, shared bed, nightmare comfort, found family (obviously with the others)

"That was one of the more stupid things I've seen you do," Levi comments idly as Hange lifts you into their arms and lays you in the wagon.

You wince and hold your arm, “I’ll say.”

"I thought it was very brave," Hange tries to reassure you.

Levi looks as bored as always when he says, "Make sure Eren stays in his titan form. We can't afford for him to bow out of the fight now just because he saw his little friend get hurt."

You lower your eyebrows in confusions. "Wh—" you gasp at a sharp pain in your arm but continue, "why would he stop fighting? He knows how important this is."

Hange and Levi share a look you don't understand, whether it be because of the pain or simply something you can't decode—you're unsure.

"You should wheel y/n to a scout we can trust. Eren needs all the motivation he can get. No need to risk cutting any loose," Levi says to Hange.

Hange nods. After they pick up the handles of the wagon and start to cart you away they look over their shoulder with a sly smirk and say, "You sound more like a commander than I do."

Levi looks at them for a moment before looking away and shaking his head, "Just go."

"Yes, sir," Hange teases before actually doing as he says.

As they carry you through the ruined town you can't help but start to ask a stupid and sort of selfish question, "How... how long do you think...”

Hange looks over their shoulder at you with a small, knowing smile. "How long before we might be able to get you back to the base and get you patched up? How long until this fighting might be done?"

You nod, feeling mildly ashamed and embarrassed.

Hange continues walking. "Not too much longer now, should we all make it out, and by some people's standards... win—if you could even call it that."

"Would you call it that?" You ask without thinking.

Hange shrugs. "What constitutes winning?"

You think for a long time—fighting through your pain to form a proper thought. "Being able to go home to the people you love and be proud of yourself."

Hange nods. "Well... are you proud of yourself?"

You scoff. "I'm being carted around in a wagon by someone who's well over qualified to be doing it. But... I guess... I guess l'm proud of killing that titan…”

"The one going for Eren?" Hange guesses. You nod, they can't see you but they know they're right. "Even if Levi thinks it was stupid... and most of the others probably do... I think it was noble."

You blush a little. "Wasn't trying to be noble."

“What were you trying to be then?" Hange asks.

"I was just trying to help Eren," you say it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

"Eren was in his titan form. He could've handled it," Hange reasons.

You frown. "He didn't see it coming. It was nearly the size of him. It could've caught him off guard, it could've—"

"So you stepped in," Hange offers.

You nod firmly. "So I stepped in."

"And nearly got your arm taken off." Hange reminds you.

You go red in the face again. “A minor set back.”

Hange laughs. "Yeah, a minor set back that nearly got you and Eren killed."

You're confused again. "How did that nearly get Eren killed? He turned as soon as he heard the titan get ahold of me. He took it down in seconds."

"And was nearly over run by the other titans while he sat you on the wall," Hange counters.

You frown and your eyebrows lower again. "I guess I didn't notice that part."

Hange nods their head from side to side. "You wouldn't have. You lost a lot of blood real fast before Levi found you and wrapped that arm. You're probably going to lose consciousness here soon."

You gulp. "Is this a lose consciousness and never wake up kind of nap or..?”

Hange shakes their head. "Shouldn't be. More like a lose consciousness and stay down for a few days kind of nap—so long as someone survives long enough to get you back to a medic!"

You nod, not all that reassured but unwilling to admit that. "Who are you going to leave me with?"

"A new recruit. He just switched from the MP's. Name's Marlo. He's scared out of his mind right now but he passed Jean and Levi's tests so he'll get the job done," Hange explains.

You nod again.

After a little while longer Hange puts you in an abandoned house on the outskirts of the destroyed town and promises to return with Marlo. You don't actually see anyone make it back to you because you finally fall unconscious when the pain becomes too unbearable after the adrenaline wears off.

When you open your eyes next, you're in the infirmary. You look down at your bandaged arm in a sling, happy to still have it. You look around the room and see two or three other people still in beds, asleep. A doctor is walking away from you so you assume that's what finally woke you up.

The only other thing you notice is a weight on both of your hands and one, much heavier, weight on your legs. You look down as see Armin holding on of your hands between both of his with his legs pulled up to his chest and his head laying on them while he sleeps. Mikasa is laying her head on her crossed arms on your legs. Your other hand is being held tightly in one of Eren’s while his other arm lays across your waist and his head lays on your gut, facing you.

You shift a little so you’re sitting up. Immediately Mikasa wakes and sits upright. She smiles a small smile when you make eye contact.

“Happy to see you awake, y/n,” Mikasa says warmly.

“How long have I been asleep?” You whisper, not wanting to wake the two boys at your sides.

“Just about three days,” Mikasa answers.

“Three days?” You exclaim and then quickly slap a hand over your mouth.

Armin yawns and sits up slowly. He rubs his eyes and smiles at you. “Y/n! How are you? Are you in pain?”

You stop and focus on your arm. It’s a dull pain but shockingly less than before. Whatever they have on this wrap if very helpful.

You shrug. “It’s not too bad.” You shake your head. “Enough about me, what happened? Did we win? Did anyone… die?”

Armin shakes his head quickly. “Noone since before you left the fight. We all made it out. I’d… I’d say we won.”

You relax into the bed and nod. “Okay. Good. That’s… good. That’s great.”

There is a comfortable pause. You think it’s so quiet because your friends are letting you adjust to your surroundings and really take in that everyone is safe and whole. Really, it’s because they’re both trying to figure out how to tell you…

“Eren’s been pretty antsy these past few days,” Armin tries to say casually.

Your eyes snap open. “Why? What’s wrong?”

Mikasa and Armin exchange a look, another that you cannot seem to understand.

“You’ve been down for days now, don’t you remember?” Armin asked, nervous that you’d hit your head after all.

You nod quickly. “I know but why would that make Eren antsy?”

Mikasa narrows her eyes and titles her head slightly to the side. Armin smiles sympathetically. You look between them, still confused.

“Y/n, Eren has been worried about you. He hasn’t left your side. The only reason he is not awake right now is because he’s slept, maybe, twenty-four hours in three days,” Mikasa explains.

When your jaw drops Armin adds, “Recently, there was a bit of talk about the possibility of you not waking up if you were unconscious for much longer…”

You stare at them with wide eyes. Slowly you look down at the boy who’s head is on your gut. “Oh, Eren…”

At the sound of you saying his name he slowly stirs. For a moment his eyes flutter open and your eyes meet and he just smiles. Then, it’s like he remembers everything all at once. He jumps up and tosses your hand away—only to take it back a second later.

In mere moments he’s sitting on the edge of the cot and gently taking your bad arm in his hand slowly extending it in different directions to see if you bled through the bandage. Then he’s taking your face in his free hand and using it to tilt and maneuver your head around so he can examine it better to see if you really did acquire a head injury (as if the doctors or captains wouldn’t have noticed). He holds your hand all the while.

Once he seems satisfied with his inspection of your health he just looks at you for a moment longer. He slouches a little in his spot on the edge of your bed. He holds your hand between both of his and just looks at you. It’s like he’s trying to memorize your face. He has this gentle look on his face.

Then, as quickly as it came it goes.

He’s angry very, very fast.

He drops your hand and stands.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He snaps. “Why the fuck couldn’t you just stay with the rest of the unit? Why would you put yourself in the direct line of fire? Did you want to test my reflexes? See how fast I can be? Was it Hange’s idea? To make you bait? That’s a low fucking blow, even for them. I’ve been very understanding about their research but if they fucking—“

You shake your head the entire time he speaks but that doesn’t do much to shut him up so you just shout, “Eren!”

His jaw snaps shut and he looks down at you from where he stands. He’s shaking with anger, his face is red, he’s breathing heavily—but he’s quiet.

“Will you sit?” You ask quietly.

He hesitates but he does as you ask.

You let out a short breath of relief before you start explaining, “Hange had nothing to do with my, as it’s been continuously called, stupid decision. They had nothing to do with it. No one did. No one knew what I was going to do. Not even me. I didn’t plan it, it wasn’t premeditated. It was just something I did. I saw, what I presumed to be, you in danger and I reacted. That was it. I couldn’t let you get hurt so I did what I thought would help. That’s what happened.”

“But you could’ve died! You came pretty fucking close!” He snaps again.

“I’m keenly aware, thank you,” you deadpan.

“So why would you do it? You can’t say it was to protect me because why would you risk your life just for that?” He asks.

“Like I said, it was like an instinct.” You shrug. “Besides, we all risk our lives for each other, even when it’s against our better judgement, all the time. What’s so special about this time?”

“You can’t just put your life on the line on a whim!” Eren shouts.

You startle backward in confusion. “It’s like you didn’t hear anything I just said.”

“Never do that again. Never. Do not risk your life for me. That’s fucking stupid,” Eren says seriously.

You scoff in disbelief and look to Armin and Mikasa to see if they are also acknowledging how hypocritical and crazy Eren sounds. They both avoid your eyes. Mikasa looks at the ground while Armin stairs at the ceiling like words of encouragement from Erwin are written on it.

“Eren, you are being the biggest hypocrite of all time right now. That doesn’t even make sense! Everyone can risk their lives for everyone but I can’t? How does that make sense! I’m fine! I made it! I’m okay! So what’s the problem?” You shout.

“The problem is that if you died out there, especially for something as fucking stupid as protecting me, I would never forgive myself! I would never forgive the world! It’s already taken so much from me! How could you possibly be willing to let it take more!” He seethes.

“Your life is worth so much! If I died to keep you safe I will have done my due diligence! If you died when I could’ve prevented it it would have been the most disgusting injustice the world ever faced, to have this world without you in it!” You counter just as loudly.

“You are worth 12 of me!” Eren continues.

“And you are worth double for every person on this expanse of the world!” You argue.

The room falls deadly silent. No one moves. No one breathes. Nothing happens for a long time.

Eren still shakes with rage. You pant with your own. Your arm aches suddenly. Armin and Mikasa have gotten closer together and seem to be attempting at an exit.

After a few moments longer, Armin gently squeezes your arm and you pretend it doesn’t hurt. He smiles warmly. “We’ll let you rest, y/n. See you soon, I’m sure.”

“We’ll let everyone know to visit you tomorrow. It’s late,” Mikasa says, to which you’re eternally grateful.

You nod and smile at them the best you can. “Thanks, guys. See you.”

They both leave very quickly, only sparing Eren a quick glance.

There is only silence for a long time. You won’t look at each other. Neither of you wants to be the first one to give.

He eventually sits in the chair next to your bed again. He holds up his head with his hand, shielding his face with said hand. This makes you feel safe enough to spare him a glance. He looks disheveled and distressed.

Shockingly, it is him who breaks. “You can’t…” he swallows thickly, “you can’t be careless with your life. Not for me or anyone.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” you counter sharply.

“I’m asking,” he says simply. “I’m asking you to care about yourself. To make yourself a priority. Be selfish.”

You shake your head. “That’s… that’s wrong. If everyone did that there’d be no Survey Corps. There would be so much fighting. It would be—“

“I’m not asking everyone else to be selfish, I’m asking you,” Eren cuts you off.

“Eren…” you shake your head again. “That’s… that’s…”

“Selfish and terrible. I know. But I’m asking anyway,” he looks up at you. You don’t think he’s ever looked so drained.

You lower your eyebrows in confusion but also worry. “Eren, are you okay?”

“Will you be selfish and terrible?” He ignores you.

“Eren—“ You start again.

“Will you?” He asks.

“Will you be selfish and terrible with me?” You snap.

He startles backward a little. “What?”

You sit up straighter. “Why should I sit out of the fight, off in safety, while you go and fight?”

He seems momentarily speechless.

“And don’t bring up your titan form. Mikasa could take out just as many titans as you in the same amount of time as you. Captain Levi could take out more. So don’t,” you say quickly.

He sighs. “Why is everything a fight with you? Why are you so stubborn?”

You choke on a laugh. “Me? I’m the stubborn one?”

He smiles and lets out a small chuckle.

You resolve dies in an instant. It’s like you were never angry, like you’ve never been angry once before. The boiling hot rage dissolves into a soft warmth that worms its way to your heart.

“Maybe I’m a little stubborn, too…” Eren admits almost sheepishly.

You scoff. “Yeah, like a bull.”

He laughs. Then, after a moment his face twists into confusion. He seems hesitant but clears his throat and slowly asks, “…What’s a bull?’

You immediately shake your head with wide eyes and laugh, “I have no idea! I think I heard Armin say it once!”

He laughs much louder now. You laugh for a long time. You both almost forget. Neither of you do.

When Eren stands you can’t ignore the way your heart all but jumps to your throat.

Hesitantly he says, “It’s late. I should let you sleep. I’ve been here for ages anyway, I’m sure the doctors are sick of me.”

You try to smile at his joke but it falls flat. You’re nearly sweating by now. Since the moment you saw that titan approach Eren from behind you’ve been in protective mode. The only thing on your mind was him, even while you slept you dreamt of him. You had nightmares of him leaving your sight for only a second and then dying as soon as you looked back. The idea of him leaving for the entire night brings a new wave of panic over you.

As he starts to grab his cloak off of his chair you quickly say, “Eren!”

He turns to look at you immediately. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

You clear your throat and try again at a smile. “What if you— um… what if you just… stayed? Why don’t you— why not stay? It’s um… its late, like you said. Why head all the way back to the barracks. It’s ages away from here. Why not just… um… just stay?”

He says nothing while you fumble around for the right words. He only watches and does his best to keep a straight face. Really, internally, he’s thankful and reeling with relief. He had no desire to leave your side now. He’d been with you since the moment he could be—he wasn’t all that eager to part ways now.

When you finally stop and stare at him with a red face, glassy eyes, and shakey hands he pauses before nodding. He drops his cloak back onto the back of the chair and pushes it back out.

You feel this cold wave of relief wash over you that’s so strong it makes you lay your head down and close your eyes as you take a deep breath. “Thanks,” you mumble.

He doesn’t say anything about that and just asks, “Do you want anything? Food? Water?”

You shake your head and you go to say ‘no’ but for some reason you mouth gets ahead of your brain and can’t stop itself before saying, “No, just you.”

Eren had already turned to get water when he heard what you said, it makes him stop dead in his tracks. You smack a hand over your mouth and your face feels hot. He just stands there for a long time before walking away.

You think, vaguely, that he might not come back—just fetch his cloak when you fall asleep, but you know Eren better than that.

When he returns he offers you the cup of water he’s clearly been sipping on the way back from fetching and even though you rejected it before you gladly take a drink of it now. Eren knows you well.

“Have you slept in that chair for all three of the days I was out? Or did you sleep in your on bed for at least one of them?” You ask, trying desperately to keep him distracted.

He shakes his head. “No, I stayed here the whole time. I never left.”

You swallow thickly and nod. “…Okay. Well,” and for some reason you decide that you’ve already dug yourself so deep so why not go deeper, “I’m sure that’s uncomfortable and I mean… you’re staying another night, per my request, so um… I just— I wouldn’t want you to… to have to sleep all hunched over again… so um…” you clear your throat and refuse to look at him. “You could always sleep up here. If you, um, if you wanted.”

There is a long silence—or maybe it isn’t so long, it just feels that way to you.

When you finally look up at him he’s taking off his over shirt and kicking off his shoes. “Would you uh… would that make you feel safer?”

You clench your jaw and swallow your embarrassment enough to be honest and nod.

He nods too before climbing into the bed next to you. You throw the blanket out of the way to let him crawl under it and he does. It’s not the largest cot so you’re shoulder to shoulder—thankfully on the side of your good arm.

Shockingly, even though you’ve been unconscious for days, you’re tired. It’s likely all the energy excursion after having used none for days.

So you just roll onto your side, facing away from him and lift your arm up so you don’t crush it. “Thank you, Eren.”

“Anytime, y/n,” he says quickly.

You fall asleep quickly but it feels like you’re instantly met with a nightmare. Another of Eren being violently attacked. The two of you are running through the woods from titans but without ODM gear. You look behind you to try to spot the titans and see how far away they are for just a moment. As soon as you look back you see a titan cut in font of you and grab Eren.

Just before it can lift him to it’s mouth you’re being shaken. You wake in a cold sweat, panting, and with wide eyes. You grab tightly onto the figure in front of you, sitting up very quickly.

You look up and see Eren and relief washes over you instantaneously. “Oh, Eren…” you breath.

“Nightmare,” he acknowledges.

You nod. “Yeah… but,” you catch your breath, “you got me out before it got to the awful part.”

He nods too. “Yeah, I’ve gotten good at that.”

You run a hand through your hair to push it out of your face and look up at him. “What do you mean?”

He shrugs. “You’ve had a lot of nightmares the last couple of days, even while unconscious. We couldn’t figure out what it was at first. The first times were the worst. The most you’d say was… well… my name.”

You nod, too confused to be embarrassed. “Yeah, my nightmares are usually about you getting hurt or killed.”

He nods too. “I assumed as much. It was like if I could catch you before you got too far into it and you heard my voice you’d settle down again. It was hard to catch the signs fast enough at first but I figured it out. I’m just happy it worked even when you were conscious.”

“It definitely did,” you sigh. “Thank you, again.”

He shakes his head. “It’s no problem.”

You think about arguing that but decide against it. Instead you just lay back down. He follows right after you.

This time, you lay facing him and he does the same. You lay together with your faces inches apart. You can feel his breath on your face, warm and constant—it’s very grounding.

The silence is comfortable and it feels like it could go on forever, like it could lay over the expanse of the night.

Again, just as shockingly, it is Eren who breaks it.

So quietly, just barely audible, “Hi.”

You smile because it feels so juvenile, so secretive and small. “Hi.”

He looks over your entire face. He reaches out and so gently moves your hair from the side of your face and pushes it back to join the rest of your hair. “You’re so beautiful… like the sea.”

Your face heats up and it feels like you’re the only two in the world. “Would it scare you away if I said that I jumped in to help you because… because I love you?”

You think, at first, that he doesn’t hear you; because you said it so quietly but also because, for a short moment, he doesn’t react at all.

Then, very suddenly he pulls you to him. He holds you against his chest. His kisses the top of your head and just holds you.

For a long time, you lay there like that, wrapped in his arms, clinging to him like he’s the only thing tethering you to this earthly world.

Eventually, he says, “I love you. I love you. I love you,” over and over again like a chant—like a prayer.

[erens-princess]

♡ :: when they’re orphans and murderers with a tragic backstory 💋

[wriothesleysgf]

˚ ⊹ ₊˚ stay soft — eren jaeger + reader

minors dni with my blog · extremely self indulgent comfort, implied non verbal reader, signs of depressed reader, modern au.

as soon as eren entered your shared apartment, he knew that something was off. usually you'd be the one to call out to him, running into his arms to greet him if you weren't already preoccupied with something. instead he was the one to call you. the sniffled response sounded like it was coming from the living room, thus that's where his feet took him.

the sight made his usually cold heart split into two. you were curled up in the corner of the couch, lights dimmed and a disney movie playing on the tv. he recognized that not only were you wearing his hoodie (with the hood pulled over your head), but also that you had a death grip on what seemed to be his pillow and the plushie that he'd won for you on your second date.

"baby, 's everything okay?" he spoke softly, kicking his shoes off before slowly making his way over to you. he squatted down in order to be level with you, lifting a hand to push away stray hairs and carress your cheek.

you didn't really know how to respond, nor how to adequately explain what exactly was the matter. all you managed to do was sniffle again, blinking rapidly to push back the tears that threatened to spill.

"oh, princess," eren moved to sit next to you, encouraging you to crawl into his lap. you did precisely that, allowing him to put down your hood so that he could see your pretty face. "it's okay, 'm here now," he cooed. though you had abandoned his pillow, your hands still remained tight around your plushie as you buried your face in eren's chest.

"you don't have to say anything, baby, it's okay," he repeated, wrapping his arms around you. the man could sit like this for however long was necessary, whispering gentle words of encouragement and adoration.

when you finally peeked up at him, his smile was so genuine, and you could see the concern in his eyes. "you hungry, sweets?" he asked, "c'n order food, your choice,"

though you only nodded in response, the small smile that broke out on your previously despondent features reassured him a little that you were okay. not wanting to push you back into the state that he'd found you in, he reached into his back pocket and handed you his phone.

"do you want to have a shower with me, princess? 'll even put my sweater on the heater so it's nice and warm for you afterwards," he offered, knowing that when you got like this you struggled to take care of your most basic needs. "you can order first, nd then when we're done it will arrive, m'kay?"

you nodded again, tilting you head up to kiss eren's jaw as a wordless way of showing your gratitude. you then poked your hand out from your sleeve, placing it on the left side of his chest and tapping right where you knew his heart to be.

with a kiss to your forehead, he kept his reply short: "i love you too, darlin',"

[whxre4hange]

attack on titan characters playing league headcanons

guys im in my final year of my undergrad and i have exams and this is what im doing w my time LMAO

eren (ultimate rage quitter)

eren is the ultimate tryhard. bro mains riven and screams into the group call "i will carry!" he charges into fights like he’s fighting titans, only to get instantly melted. after dying for the fifth time, you can hear him scream into the mike, “i’m not mad, i’m just... passionate! WE GOT THIS GUYS DONT GIVE UP” while furiously typing “ff 15” in chat.

mikasa the overprotective bodyguard

mikasa is the ultimate support, but she’s less about healing and more about throwing daggers at anyone who dares touch eren. if someone tries to gank him, she’ll sprint across the map like a ninja, yelling, “no one touches my eren!” while simultaneously saving him from certain doom… and then getting herself killed in the process.

armin the strategist (and coward)

armin is the brains of the operation, but he spends half the game hiding in a bush, whispering strategies to himself. when he finally decides to engage, he shouts, “guys! let’s flank them!” only for everyone to be dead by the time he finishes his sentence. he’s basically a walking “how not to play” guide.

sasha the snack master

sasha is the adc, but her real focus is on her snack stash. she’s munching on chips while trying to farm minions and will often say things like, “just one more potato chip before i go back!” she ends up feeding because she can’t resist grabbing a snack during team fights. “i’m just… multitasking!”

connie the confused support

connie thinks he’s playing support, but he keeps accidentally stealing kills with his abilities. when everyone yells at him, he responds with a confused, “but i thought we were playing catch!” he’s just trying to help, bless his little heart.

jean's leadership failures

jean wants to be team captain (literally no one cares) and constantly tries to direct everyone like he’s leading a military operation. “okay, guys! we need a five-man engage!” but when eren charges in solo again, jean just facepalms and mutters, “why do i even try?”

marco the cheerleader

marco is the wholesome cheerleader of the group. he’s always encouraging everyone with phrases like, “good job, team! you can do it!” unfortunately, he gets so distracted by his own positivity that he forgets to ward properly and walks straight into a bush full of enemies. “oops! my bad!”

reiner's tanking fail

reiner plays tank but thinks he’s invincible. he charges into fights yelling, “i’m here to save you!” only to get one-shot by an enemy assassin. his teammates are left screaming, “we needed you alive for that!”

ymir's sneaky shenanigans

ymir plays an assassin and loves sneaking around for picks. she’ll shout things like, “i’m going in!” but then accidentally reveals her position by stepping on a ward. when historia asks her what happened, she just shrugs and says, “it was tactical misdirection!”

annie’s solo queue dominance

annie is a solo queue legend who plays mid-lane like it’s her personal arena. she rolls her eyes at her teammates’ antics and mutters things like, “if you all just let me carry…” she has zero patience for anyone who doesn’t understand how to play properly—and she’ll mute them faster than you can say “teamwork.”

bertolt's unexpected support skills

birthcontrol is surprisingly good at support, using his size as an accidental shield for his teammates. when someone asks how he does it, he just says softly, “i’m just… really good at standing still.” and somehow that works....

erwin's confusing speeches

erwin gives motivational speeches before every match that leave everyone more confused than inspired. “remember: victory is not just about winning; it’s about… uh… being brave?” anywyas by the end of it, everyone is just staring blankly at him while eren types in chat: “can we just play already?”

hange's chaotic jungle adventures

hange plays jungle with chaotic energy that keeps everyone on their toes. they dive into fights yelling, “let’s go! science rules!” but often end up accidentally initiating fights they can’t win. then they die spectacularly the end

levi's silent judgment

levi lurks in the background, silently judging everyone while occasionally throwing out sarcastic comments like, “great job feeding.” when asked why he doesn’t play more often, he simply replies with a deadpan stare: "because i don’t want to ruin my kda." and yet somehow still manages to carry every game when he does play

[sugurusombereyes]

you had to kill me but it killed you just the same ; eren yeager

synopsis: spending your pre-teens with eren meant that you would have to somewhat abandon the home that meant it’s meaning, he comes to visit you after you fled without a word of goodbye.

you can aim for my heart go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones.

word count: 4405

contents: eren yeager/reader, implications of sh, implications of depression, some crying, gonna make you want to rip your heart out, mutual pining kinda, reader is kind of a bitch at first, somber ending??

a/n: first fic so please be kind (nobody is going to see this) 🥰🥰 - hopefully no errors bcs it’s 4am rn and icba to read over it <33

november 10th 2002

"do you really believe in that?"

"believe in what?," the boy asks confused as mikasa huffs for the fifth time in counting during this conversation, "the whole deep down thing that you just spent five minutes talking about, keep up yeager."

eren nods in realisation, "yeah i mean i don't think it really exists y'know? you are just what you put out for others to see, i mean why would you project yourself as someone else in front of someone else. if that makes any sense." he mutters the last bit a little quieter than before, "maybe some people just can't be bothered to be fun all the time, you think too much into things eren."

the boy shrugs in return, like he did for everything everyone had disagreed with him on. "okay guys i'll meet you later on, armins over there!," the brunette smiled as she waved the two of you off, both of you murmuring a small 'bye' as she jogs towards the blonde.

it was the day before your birthday, usually you would prepare for a party. buying the decorations months in advanced and telling everyone about how you changed your mind on your cake for the fifth time while they all sigh in return, but you still keep your smile because it's your birthday, one of the best days because it was all about you.

as usual you had training with your best friends, the people that practically saved you from yourself multiple times without knowledge. what more could you ask for?

but this year was different.

your birthday now meant something else, something that made your stomach turn and heart tug whenever someone would even mention your existence.

the anniversary of your mothers death was always hard, but especially hard around your birthday. this was the third one without her but it still made your soul leak with blood, slowly and excruciatingly dripping down as it begins to swallow you whole and spit you out after the wave of grief was somewhat less exhausting than it was initially.

it was harder this time year round because it was another reminder that you were alive and breathing while she was somewhere buried under the ground you were forced to walk on while the creator of your limbs no longer had any attachments to her creation.

the somber silence between you and eren grew cold and warped into the same silence that filled your ears once you heard the news from the same mouth that whispered sweet nothings into your ears when you had accidentally spilled the contents of your brain on him, attempting to wipe it away with your sleeve but continued to spread the mess around you both as the remainder leaked out of your eyes.

"are you going to be doing anything tomorrow?"

he broke the silence, his words immediately turning sour, regretting it as he uttered the wrong words that were always going to be wrong no matter what time they were uttered. eren knew that you were hurting, i mean how could he not?

he noticed the things the others didn't, the way you would immediately tense up whenever someone would ask you something about yourself. it could be the most simplest thing and you would hesitate before answering, almost as if you didn't know who you were, that you were simply a host in a brain that you couldn't find your away around no matter how many times the layout would be explained, yelled at to you and you still wouldn't understand why you felt the way you did.

he noticed the way you would scrunch your eyes closed when you would find something exceptionally funny, your smile radiating love and joy onto the next person and basically forcing them to join in on the shared happiness you faced in the moment. he noticed everything you wanted to say you swallowed, opening your mouth and left with silence as you were talked over or shot a look which would make you divert your gaze to something other than him.

"it made sense," you scratched your head, glancing up at him once and looking back down as you met his eyes full of the stars that you both peered out of your window to look at ever night, not together but was a silent agreement to do whenever one of you felt like you needed to forget who you were.

"before, what you-."

"mhm," he hummed softly in response, cutting you off from re clarifying what you meant. because he knew what you meant, he always did.

the elders would've been pissed if you were late again to another meeting, he sped up walking towards the building as you kept your slow steps, sighing softly as the breeze kissed upon your skin.

"c'mon, let's go. i know you wouldn't want to be late, i mean they wouldn't anyways." eren grabbed your hand, coming off more eager than he intended. but he was quick to make up for it by the soothing swipes back and forth over your bruised knuckles that didn't always mean defending yourself, rather saving yourself from the possibility's of hurt you could inflict upon the protection of your temple that sometimes you wanted to claw off.

you always felt a different type of peace with eren, acceptance almost. i mean you'd been craving it ever since you decided that you could never be destroyed by anything but yourself, over and over again until the desire to not be wounded repeatedly would stop. you felt at home because with him you didn't have to think about yourself and it would hurt less.

he would make you hurt less.

november 10th 2012

"you're fucking joking me," you hiss, burning yourself for the third time this week. cooking was never your forte but you felt like you needed to make somewhat of an effort instead of ordering take out for the third time this week.

i mean you wouldn't order the take out, the poor old woman down the street that was completely oblivious of the real world and it's corruption would order it for you and give you the same sweet smile and offer to come by her house so she can make you an actual meal.

you would always decline politely, pre making a good excuse so she wouldn't feel like you didn't wanted to be around her. you would tell her that you have training once again, you have to get in the extra work due to an injury you faced a few years back. you tell her that you would love to stay but you can't burden your eldian blood, you had come too far to betray yourself for nothing.

she'd then give you that same sweet smile, the smile lines cemented into her skin telling you a story of how she watched her kids get eaten by titans in front of her while she carried the burden of existing. she kept on smiling no matter what, making their favourite dishes, eating them alone and gazing into the empty seats which were once filled by the love that made her home an actual home.

you couldn't break it to the woman that the life you had fed her was completely rotten and was going to poison you both eventually as time went by. you couldn't break it to her that you didn't actually have a boyfriend who was out fighting the remainder titans left and that he hand wrote you letters every week about how much he missed you.

you couldn't find the words to tell her that you were hiding out in this small town in the middle of nowhere because you were most wanted everywhere else, that you had in fact betrayed your eldian blood and went against everything that stood for it because you live with the burden of being yourself.

you couldn't tell her that you weren't living in the colours you painted out for her but were so afraid of losing something, you refused to love anything.

"okay fuck this," you turn off the stove, wiping your hands on your apron and throwing it across the room in frustration. "one more order can't hurt." you murmur, grabbing your flip phone and heading towards the front door.

you let out a sigh before swinging open the door, a softer one this time compared to the one you let out when you realised that you had to create another excuse for the old woman.

"i would say i like what you've done with the place but it just doesn't seem like you."

the plain expression on his face doesn't tell you anything more than you would usually expect it to, he knew that obviously. he knew you.

the sun kissed upon his features perfectly you thought, his green eyes glistening an unsettling sense of normalcy back into your boring brown ones.

his hair was grown out; half of it tied into a bun and the rest flowing down his shoulders, making your brain shift to the times when you would run your fingers through them as he let out the same soft sigh you did before you opened the door.

"well then maybe you don't know me as well as you thought yeager."

yeager

(his heart ached for a split second, the nostalgia of your first interaction turning in his stomach.)

he blinks twice and nods softly, "maybe," he utters so carefully, looking anywhere but the eyes that moulded the way his heart was shaped.

there was something different about him and for once you couldn't pin point what it exactly was. you spend a minute observing him, the faint smile lines that reminded you of the time you both laughed till your eyes were red from crying.

he knew what you were doing and observed back, the faint scar that laid upon your right cheekbone that was more defined than the last time he saw you, the shadow of it spilling out the grey novembers you spent alone.

"i'm not inviting you in," you step to the side, letting a small portion of the cold house spill out upon his vision. "i know you wouldn't." you swear the corners of his lips turned up for a second, letting a bit of warmth into your living situation.

(you couldn't call it a home because you were without the thing that stopped your heart from permanently longing)

eren walks in slowly, turning his head to the burnt smell that wafted throughout your house, mentally smiling at your failure at cooking.

i mean he wasn't surprised, why would he be? he couldn't help but let his mind drift off to the times you both talked about your future, and how you were adamant on not living together because apparently he'll get sick of you.

(he could never imagine a universe where he wouldn't want to be by your side)

but then you'd change your mind and remember how responsible he was, and then he'd remind you that you couldn't eat take out everyday after the world faced peace. then you'd decide that you both would live together so he would cook for you and not result in you dying from an extremely high cholesterol level.

(you'd then ask him to spell cholesterol and he'd quickly change the subject)

"you have anything to drink?," he took his hands out of his pockets and darted his eyes to your sink, "not really." you murmur, clearing your throat to make him look back at you, just for you to glance somewhere else.

you were afraid that if eren looked too long he would notice the brush strokes that were smudged over and over to make who you were, that the longer he looked he would realise that you weren't painted as carefully and softly as the others were.

(he didn't care for softness, only for you)

he hummed in response, walking towards the rusty sink and pouring himself a glass of water. "m'kind of hungry, you?," he cleared his throat, setting the glass down and facing you from across the room.

"nah- but make yourself at home," you raise a hand towards the burnt mess on the stray pan. you found yourself playing along and liking the narrative he wrote out for you as soon as his warmth leaked into your home.

"perfect," he chirps in response, he was turned around but you could still hear the small smile in his words.

sending a pang to your heart.

a tender moment passes, eren looks around the kitchen leading into the living room, finding his eyes softening at the sage coloured curtains.

the only part of your home that felt like you.

everything else was bland, beige and black. rusted or a little scratched up, i mean he knew you weren't going to stay here forever but he assumed the interior would be a bit more put together.

"you can't stay," you almost declare to him, knowing it was the obvious but saying it to make it clear.

he couldn't stay because you weren't allowing him.

(not like that ever stopped him before)

"busy?"

he turned his head, swiftly turning on his heel and walking slowly towards you. eren knows you aren't busy, but he's just asking to create conversation. he doesn't know why, but then again nothing didn't need to mean something.

you had to bite back a laugh at the comment he made, it was almost comedic that eren had showed up. you were most wanted everywhere except this small town that was full of abandoned houses, something out of a horror movie he thought as he arrived there. but it didn't matter, after all you had moved there for a reason, the same reason that he longed to find out even though he knew somewhat of the answer.

"yeah, something like that."

you start to walk to the counter top, standing behind it as a shield or something. but you didn't need a shield, you never did, if anything you felt like the whole world needed one against you. like the worse possible thing in the world was to know you, for someone to let you in their life.

but eren thought the complete opposite, he had reminded you that knowing you was one of the greatest blessings anyone could earn.

(he'd told you when he thought you were sleeping, you weren't.)

eren had tagged along behind you, the creaking of the stool he sat on interrupting the soft silence that settled every time you both avoided eye contact.

the last years you had been gone were the hardest on him, well not harder than losing his mother or having to tell you that his father was the reason for you to lose yours. he'd found himself coming out of his room and looking at the stars every night to soothe him from the loss he'd experienced; soothed from the idea that maybe you were looking at them at the same time as him, that you hadn't left him because you'd lost sense in his words.

you had to kill him but it killed you just the same, the day you left wasn't easy for you either. everyone had made assumptions that all of a sudden you were a monster, a villain from the famous story's that erens father would tell you to scare you both into training.

the day you left you didn't feel the same amount of relief that washed over you when you had come to the conclusion that the elimination of your existence wouldn't matter to anyone, but it had covered your wet skin in dirt and mud.

the debris coating your skin like erens warmth once did when you were covered in snow during winter.

but it wasn't winter when you left, it was summer and you were left with burns from this external heat which you never asked for, you never needed to ask for his warmth because it would always come at the times you didn't know you needed it.

"eren-."

"i didn't ever think of you as someone who enjoyed small towns," he cut you off so carefully, you see eren knew what he was doing and you knew it too. it reminded you of the time when you found him crying, hot tears flowing down his cheeks as he tried to catch the breath he had been chasing ever since he experienced loss for the first time.

you sat beside him and handed him a pack of tissues you stole from armin.

he had a cold but you didn't really care.

you asked him what has happened and he immediately changed the subject, talking about how black absorbs heat so you shouldn't be wearing it out on such a nice day.

you'd then scoff at the comment, if it were such a nice day then why was he upset? eren would then talk about the colours you should wear instead because black would make you tired, not knowing that darkness was all you ever knew and you didn't really give a fuck about what colour to wear on a hot day because you had been absorbing everyone's exhaustion whenever they'd felt like acknowledging you.

but you would never play along like everybody else, you would gnaw at him for the root reason why he was changing the subject until you got the answer. no matter how much blood would be splattered around you both, mixed with tears and venom he spat out while dodging your question, burning your skin that was once burnt but not in the same way he hurt you.

"why are you here yeager?," you spat out, coming off more poisonous than you expected. venom spewing onto his clothes and burning small holes into it and branding his skin with your words.

(only the thing was that he didn't mind, if anything it was you so who was he to complain?)

he huffed and darted his eyes to your knuckles, "this doesn't suit you," he was looking into your eyes now, his gaze flickering back to the scar.

"and when have i ever cared about what suits me or not?"

he lets out a small laugh, looking down at his shoes. eren wasn't a fool, he knew that this had to come to an end and that your facade would also.

another moment passed, but it didn't have the same tenderness it had before you started talking. you didn't want to understand why eren was still in your kitchen, why he drank your tap water without letting it run to cold, why he attempted to make conversation with you and why he was smiling.

you didn't understand why you had to be the one hunted down, you knew it was your fault but why didn't anyone want to understand your actions and what drove you to insanity?

you'd ask these questions to the night sky, hoping one of the stars would talk back and explain that they see how you sob over what you destroy and how you begged the empty sky for everything stop but then pick up the dagger and dig your future back into your skin, while begging your hand to put it down.

you wanted the stars to tell you that they won't keep on inventing you and accusing but stop and take the dagger from your trembling hands, holding them in their warm grip while you wouldn't have to beg for your brain to stop.

"y'know it rained on the day you left."

he uttered so casually, looking at you as you dodged his eyes again. "not for long," you said a little quieter than you needed to.

"yeah, it stopped at night," eren murmured, he got up from the stool and rubbed invisible dust off of his trousers.

"the stars looked beautiful that night."

"i didn't see them that night," he breathed, a little twinge of annoyance in it, sending a hot flush surging through your veins. your expression wavers at the slightest as well as his hard gaze upon a face that he's slowly starting to not recognise.

he lied.

the night you left eren sat in the rain and gazed at the stars, but you already knew that. it didn't rain that night, if anything there was a cool breeze, sending a wave of nostalgia over your skin as you couldn't help but let your mind wander to the times you both would lay on the grass upon a safe silence.

eren breathed again but a little louder this time, the corners of his lips turning up into the same smile he plastered on before his eyes started to water and his ears turned red.

"don't ask it."

"but i need to know," erens voice wavered, his eyes pleading you to not swallow everything this time but vomit it up upon the kitchen counter. spilling onto the floor and onto him as well if it were more than you intended to get rid of. he would clean it up with a perfectly clean rag, well not perfect i mean it had broken threads but nothing compared to the putrid smell of all of the burning rage left inside you.

you shake your head no at his words, at the break of his voice that immediately sent pangs to your heart, wrapping around your heart and squeezing it till it nearly exploded.

"so what, you want me to forget all of this? forget you and move on, you know me-."

"i knew you."

you cut him off immediately, your voice overpowering him as he stood up, scoffing at your words. "don't do that."

"don't pretend like you don't know me, like we didn't spend birthdays together and fucking- watched the stars with me whenever i felt like the world was going to end." he threw his hands at his sides, unclenching the fists that he didn't know were drawing blood as you gave him nothing but silence.

"well it didn't- the world is perfectly fine and-."

"oh and you are?" he cut you off again, his sharp tone slashing back into the scars which you both had riddled from your preteens. "you're perfectly fine?" eren almost mocked you in his tone, his eyebrows expressing more than you could once questioned on your stability.

you spoon fed him with nothing but your silence, it speaking a whole lot more than your fake excuse of re clarifying what he just said. you couldn't afford to choke up anymore chunks of hurt around you both so you kept quiet, the best thing you were good at.

"i wish you knew me when my hair was long."

you cleared your throat once again, wiping your hands on your trousers and brushing your short length hair from your shoulders.

"i look for your laugh whenever i find something funny."

"i was kind, and didn't care about a single thing. i would be running around and jumping with joy- for like no reason." you breathe out, smiling at the thought.

you hadn't smiled like that for a long time.

"the knowing of your existence would've been enough for-."

"i wish you would've known me when i kept on failing on the maneuverer gear, the way i would flip upside down and my head bleeding from it, being scraped over and over until i accepted my fate."

you snickered at the old memory, "everyone would then flick the scab and some would even make it bleed- believe it or not," you smile looking up at him, "but you would've stole a plaster from shadis and took the blame immediately."

he stood there with nothing to say, well not exactly nothing but he couldn't find the words upon the waves that crashed over the both you with the things he wished he would've said.

"i wish you knew me when i liked myself a little better then i do now," your voice broke at the word 'little', playing a sad smile upon your lips that he couldn't bare to look at.

you don't find any point in looking away from eren, he stood there without the words that you wanted to hear him say. tears flooded your eyes and down your cheeks, you didn't bother to wipe them away because he was already heading towards you.

"i don't need to know your long hair to know who you are now," he whispered, his voice cracking as you shook your head. his warm hands moulding your cheeks, absorbing your tears and the reopening of the wounds that he helped close.

his thumb swiped your ongoing tears, rivers of longing and nothing but shaking fists as your teeth grind at the thought of you once were; who everyone painted you out to be once again.

your head dropped into his chest, the smell of nostalgia washing over you like the relief that did once you realised that eren was in fact watching you when your head dropped onto the wooden table you ate on. that it wasn't just tiredness but the exhaustion of being reminded that you are still you after all this time; that you didn't magically transform into someone else and still were left with the brain you were cursed with the minute you were born.

"we have to go," his hands found his way to your back, drawing lazy circles to soothe the raw open wound inside of you, "i know." your voice broke again, breathing heavily as he rubbed your back softly.

rustling outside of your house echoed inside, you knew what was coming for you wasn't the life you painted out for the sweet old lady that rambled on about the family she once had.

"they wouldn't want us to be late." his voice broke, tightening his grip on your body.

(you hate physical contact only because you knew that they would have to let go at some point.)

"i think i can make an exception this time." you smiled into his chest, nuzzling your head into him and hoping to never have to lift your head and face your fate.

he hummed in response, hearing the small smile in it as you felt his tears drip onto your shirt, burning through the material and leaving holes of grief of those who aren't really dead branded onto your skin.

now you wish you would've taken the home cooked meal.