#Epic Spectacles | Nature

[xtruss]

The World's Best Destinations For Bird-Watching! Slow Down For Epic Spectacles of Nature in These World Wonders For Birding.

SOUTH GEORGIA 🇬🇪 ISLAND — Half a million king penguins, each standing three feet tall, pack shoulder to shoulder in mesmerizing colonies on this hundred-mile-long, glacier-studded island–reached by two days of sailing east of Chile’s Cape Horn. Millions of smaller seabirds nest on the island’s tussock-covered slopes, partly thanks to the largest-ever rat-eradication effort, completed on South Georgia in 2015. While drinking in the abundant birdlife, raise a glass to Ernest Shackleton at his final resting place. Photograph By Eric Chen, Getty Images

CAPE MAY, NEW JERSEY, USA 🇺🇸— The narrow peninsula at Cape May acts as a bird funnel, bringing in songbirds during their spring and fall migrations. At dawn on a good day, legendary Higbee Beach offers front-row seats to a feathered fashion show: A steady procession flies by, each bird intent on finding a place to rest as it encounters the natural barrier of Delaware Bay. With a little luck, you can see 20 species of warblers, each in its own colorful costume. Photograph By Jay Cassario, Getty Images

PANTANAL, BRAZIL 🇧🇷 — Everyone gets spoiled by nature’s extravagance of Brazil's Pantanal, especially during the July-to-August dry season when three-foot hyacinth macaws and hulking jabiru storks seem to lurk around every corner. Cruise the famous Transpantaneira road or hop a boat downriver where, amid oodles of birds, you might glimpse a jaguar lounging on an exposed bank. Photograph By All Canada Photos/Alamy Stock Photo

BROOME, WESTERN AUSTRALIA 🇦🇺 — Roebuck Bay, on the coast of Australia’s enormous Kimberley wilderness, might be the shorebird capital of the world. More than 100,000 sandpipers, godwits, knots, tattlers, plovers, curlews, greenshanks, and turnstones gather here each year before embarking on a marathon journey northward: Many will not touch down until reaching China five days later. In early April, you can relax on the beach at sunset to watch flock after flock take to the skies. Photograph By Luc Hooganstein, Buiten-Beeld/Minden Pictures

NEW GUINEA 🇬🇳 HIGHLANDS — The jungly interior of New Guinea, largely unmapped until the 1930s, astonished early explorers with its birdlife—and the area remains a birdwatcher’s wonderland. Dazzling birds-of-paradise appear to have sprung from a modern artist’s wild imagination. A courting male Raggiana bird of paradise looks like a quivering, pastel-colored feather duster caught in an invisible pinball machine. Photograph By Tim Laman, National Geographic Image Collection

KAKUM NATIONAL PARK, GHANA 🇬🇭 — A series of hanging walkways, draped 130 feet above the ground, gives bird’s-eye views of Ghana's pristine West African rain forest for those brave enough to sway into the canopy. Seven treetops are connected by spans totaling 1,150 feet—almost a quarter mile of vertiginous crossings. It’s possible to find 300 species of birds in the park, including the little-known Fraser’s eagle-owl, the wide-ranging melancholy woodpecker, and nine different hornbills. Photograph By Wietse Michiels, Alamy Stock Photo

MINDO, ECUADOR 🇪🇨 — Embraced by cloud forest almost a mile above sea level, the enclave of Mindo in Ecuador is a honey trap for hummingbirds. Spend a morning at one of the valley’s many sugar-feeder stations to admire these turbocharged gems—with evocative names like shining sunbeam and glowing puffleg. While you’re at it, indulge your own sweet tooth with a bar of heavenly, shade-grown local chocolate. Photograph By Karine Aigner, National Geographic Image Collection

HULA VALLEY, FOREVER PALESTINE 🇵🇸 (ILLEGALLY OCCUPIED BY THE FASCIST WAR CRIMINAL ZIONIST 🐖 🐷 🐖 🐗, ISRA-HELL) — At the geographic crossroads of Eurasia and Africa, upwards of a billion birds may pass through Israeli airspace each fall before crossing the Sahara Desert. Wetland restoration projects have been so successful that many birds now spend the winter, too, and “The Terrorist , Fascist, Apartheid Illegal Regime of the War Criminal Isra-helli 🐖 🐷 🐖 🐗 Government” feeds corn and seeds to tens of thousands of common cranes in the Hula Valley to decrease crane damage to agricultural fields. A movable hide lets viewers sneak into the midst of this real-life spectacle. Photograph By Doron Horowitz, Redux

KRUGER NATIONAL PARK, SOUTH AFRICA 🇿🇦— On safari, the birds are just as outrageous as other, furrier wildlife. Behold the secretarybird, a terrestrial eagle that uses its exceptionally long legs to stride across the African savanna and stamp on venomous snakes. Or the lesser jacana, equipped with such spindly toes that it can balance on floating lily pads. While others pursue the Big Five in South Africa, set your sights on the tiny Southern cordon-bleu—and, bonus, you’ll spot all the megafauna along the way. Photograph By Mdumbleton, Getty Images

NAGALAND, INDIA 🇮🇳— Several years ago, when conservationists visited the remote province of Nagaland on the border of India and Myanmar, they discovered more than a million Amur falcons gathering in dense roosts near Doyang Reservoir—apparently a launching point for the falcons’ nonstop, 13,000-mile migratory flight to Southern Africa. At its peak in October, this stopover may hold the world’s largest concentration of raptors. Photograph By Caisii Mao, Nutphoto/Getty Images

[bosbas]

Chapter 13: I thought we had no chance

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: colin bridgerton x enemy!fem!reader WC: 2.4k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, insane amounts of pining, idiots in love!!, the slow burn is slowww burningggg i'm so sorry

Summary: It took precisely two days in England for you to utterly despise Colin Bridgerton. It took him approximately twelve hours after that to hate you right back. But he doesn't care that you're the only person in the ton who doesn't like him. You're set to marry someone else anyway, right?

August 4, 1816 – It is with a touch of disappointment that I must report the utter lack of excitement brought by the Montclairs this season. The French family arrived in London with a promise of brilliance, only to leave us wanting in the absence of any true spectacle. One would expect that such a distinguished and intriguing family would set the ton ablaze with stories of romance and intrigue. Yet, all we have is a chill in the air and a longing for what could have been.

Young Louis Montclair may still be too green to set hearts aflutter, but Lady Y/N Montclair, with her grace and charm, should have at least gifted us with a simple love story, if not the grand epic we so eagerly anticipated. But there is still time for her to find a match, and with so many eligible bachelors in Mayfair, the possibilities are endless.

You scoffed at the gossip column in your hand, scandalized.

“I’m not that boring, am I?”  you wondered aloud.

Eloise snorted, looking up from her book as she sat across from you in the Bridgerton sunroom. “I assume you read Whisteldown? She was particularly ruthless this morning, I will admit. It is your first season, after all!”

You grumbled in annoyance, once again displeased by the expectations this mystery woman had placed upon you. It wasn’t like anyone knew who you were before you arrived in London. It wasn’t until her column that people started spreading rumors and believing you had something to offer that the rest of the ton did not.

But alas, what were you to do about it? If everyone in the ton expected you to have a magical love story and find the love of your life, they could have been so kind as to provide you with someone to fall for.

And that had not been the case so far. You had not found anyone to grow feelings for yet. No one suitable, at least, you mentally corrected yourself as you looked at Colin, who had just walked through the door. But it wasn’t like you actually had feelings for him. He was just Colin, the man who regularly drove you insane, initial misunderstanding or not.

“Are you ladies ready?” he asked, placing his hands behind his back politely.

You smiled to yourself at his gesture, but quickly shook the thought away as you looked at Eloise.

“Thank you again for chaperoning, Colin,” she said, smiling a little too wide for someone who was simply going to a gallery with her friend and her brother.

You narrowed your eyes slightly. “I still don’t understand why we needed another chaperone. Elizabeth is quite enough on her own,” you said, referring to your lady’s maid, who was going to come with you as well.

“Each of us needs a chaperone,” Eloise responded as if it was obvious.

Not entirely convinced, you raised an eyebrow archly and turned to look at Colin, who just shrugged in response.

“And you wanted to come? Willingly?” you asked him.

He laughed, highly amused at how suspicious you were of him. “I promise you, I was not forced to come against my will.”

“Well, let’s go then,” urged Eloise, hooking her arm in yours and dragging you out of the room.

---

Colin looked around the room, eyes searching for you. It had become second nature to look for you in every room he was in, and he could freely admit to himself that you were too captivating to look away from.

Being friends with you might not have been his first choice, but it was yours, and he was more than happy to comply. He would find love again, eventually. Or maybe he wouldn’t. But he would rather respect your wishes and never be with you romantically than pressure you into something you could never want.

At present, you were standing very still, eyes wide and looking at the painting in front of you. Colin walked over to look at the work, and you inhaled sharply as he neared you.

Looking curiously at the painting, Colin recognized the French landscape, painted in the winter. He felt you breathing steadily next to him, and it was all he could do not to reach out and hold your hand.

“Is that what it really looks like?” he asked softly. He had only ever been to Paris, but he knew your family was from the countryside.

You nodded, blinking and turning to him. Smiling, you pointed to a chateau in the background of the painting.

“That’s in Tours, it’s very close to my home,” you said, fondness and nostalgia evident in your voice.

“I’d like to- I’ve never been there,” Colin stuttered out. Perhaps telling you that he wanted to go with you to your childhood home might be slightly too forward.

“You should go, it’s lovely in the summer,” you replied, nodding toward the painting. “I haven’t spent a summer there in many years.”

Hearing the wistfulness in your voice, Colin had to cross his arms to resist the urge to pull you into his chest. Usually, he was happy to be your friend. But sometimes, during moments like these, he wished that he could do away with social norms and simply hold you.

But alas, it was not meant to be.

“Do you ever wish you had stayed in one place your whole life?” Colin settled for asking.

You shook your head, biting your lip as you turned to smile at him. “Do you ever wish you had stayed home longer instead of traveling?”

“I suppose not,” he conceded, thinking of all the experiences he would have missed out on if he had stayed in England. “But I do feel a bit guilty when I come home and see that Hyacinth suddenly is a master at the pianoforte, and I realize that I missed all of it. Or that Gregory joins us on hunts now and I had no idea.”

“I do often miss my siblings now that they’re married and no longer live at home,” you agreed. “But traveling made you who you are, and it wouldn’t do Gregory and Hyacinth any good to have you home but not yourself. I am certain they know that you love them very much, regardless of whether you’re home all the time or not.”

“I wish I had someone to travel with,” Colin blurted out before he could stop himself.

Cringing, he looked at you nervously. But you only turned to him, smiling.

“I rather think the same,” you sighed. “That was what I wanted when I first began the season. A husband who would want to travel with me, or at least let me leave the country every now and then.”

 “And was that really so hard to find?” asked Colin sarcastically, knowing that the men of the ton were not quite as adventurous as he was.

“Well, finding one who also had a fortune and was titled was certainly an impossible task. I don’t really know what I was thinking,” you chided yourself, shaking your head at your own naivety. “I was certainly setting myself up for failure.”

“I’m certain that’s not true!” rushed out Colin, desperate to make you feel better, no matter how much he despised thinking about you with someone else. “I’m sure some man or another will show face as the perfect candidate.”

“I think what I want and what my parents want for me are two fundamentally opposed ideals. But perhaps my luck will turn in Spain next season.”

“Spain?” asked Colin, feeling his heart drop to his stomach at the thought of you leaving.

Though it had to happen eventually, with your father’s expectations as to who your husband could be, Colin still got a stabbing feeling in his chest when he thought of losing you forever. He had only known you for four months, but already you had completely changed him. He was more sure of himself now, he felt completely understood by someone for the first time, and most importantly, he knew what it felt like to be in love. The thought of it all slipping from his grasp at the end of the season was almost too much to bear.

“I was thinking I might give Spain a try and see if I have better luck in finding a husband there,” you said, attempting a carefree laugh but not quite succeeding at it.

“Oh,” responded Colin, not quite sure what else to say on the matter.

You had clearly made your decision, and he wasn’t sure what else he had to offer to make you stay for a little while longer. Nothing that would convince you, he thought. No title and no fortune.

Perhaps his mother had been wrong. Perhaps his love was not always enough. Especially given the fact that you were not interested in him in the slightest, that much was clear.

The best he could do for you now was to be your friend. And to never let you know that he loved you. Colin knew a confession of his feelings would only weigh on your mind heavily, adding nothing and taking away so much.

Realizing he had been staring into your eyes for a bit longer than was appropriate for two people who weren’t courting, Colin cleared his throat uncomfortably and turned to face the painting once more.

“I believe I saw another of his works down the hall. Would you care to take a look?” he offered, holding out his arm for you to take.

On the other side of the room, Eloise stood with Lady Danbury. The two had been deep in conversation for the better part of their time at the gallery, but neither had forgotten to keep an eye on you and Colin. Laughing to herself when she saw her brother follow after you like a lovesick puppy, Eloise turned to Lady Danbury, who was already looking in that direction.

“They make quite a pair, don’t they?” said the older woman. “I never thought I would see the day that Colin Bridgerton was ready to fall at the feet of a woman. And one he isn’t even courting, at that!”

Eloise laughed. “Me neither. However, I have been trying to get him to do something about it. Hence why I brought him here as my chaperone. Rest assured he would not have been my first choice otherwise.”

---

A few days later, you were sitting in the garden with your sister, Charlotte, and her husband. It had been a rainy few days, and at the first hint of sunshine, you had rushed out to enjoy the good weather, wanting to enjoy any moment when it wasn’t raining.

It seemed the rest of your family had a similar idea. Your father, accompanied by your brothers, had all marched boisterously outside, guns in hand as they prepared for an afternoon of shooting.

“Lovely weather, that,” said Louis, greeting Edward with a clap on the back.

“I don’t know how you and Charlotte do it,” said Jacques, who usually lived in sunny Tuscany. “I don’t think I could handle the constant dreary and rainy summers.”

Philippe, your brother, joined the conversation. Talking to Charlotte, he said, “You should come to Spain with me and Leonor. The summers there are delightful compared to this.”

You squealed in delight. “I can already picture it, the whole summer full of sunshine and warmth. I simply cannot wait.”

Edward, unaware of your plans for the following season, turned to you with confusion in his eyes. “And since when are you going to Spain?”

“Since every eligible man in London seems to be the devil incarnate,” you said, a light tone to your voice. “I am hoping Madrid might provide some better prospects than what I’ve encountered this year.”

“But why would you go all the way there?” pressed Charlotte, who also had not known that you were planning on leaving and was rather enjoying having her family nearby after living away from them for so many years.

You sighed and rolled your eyes. “As I said, I haven’t found anyone suitable. I will have to wait until next year to find someone.”

Your father cleared his throat, leaning against an empty chair in the garden. “Well, if you wanted to marry this season that would be acceptable as well. Some gentlemen are well suited.”

“Well suited?” you said, disbelief clear in your voice. “And who, pray tell, meets your incredibly exacting standards?”

“Colin Bridgerton, for one,” your father said nonchalantly, busy polishing the gun he was holding.

“Colin?” you sputtered, startled by your father’s change of heart. “But Colin isn’t even… he’s not… we’re not…”

“Aren’t you?” replied your father, an eyebrow raised at you.

“I hadn’t even considered it!” you said defensively.

This was only a slight lie. A partial truth, more like. You had certainly considered the possibility (he was an eligible bachelor, and you were a lady of marriable age, how could you not?!), but there was never any real intent behind those thoughts. It was more of a distant concept, so far from reality that it wasn’t even worth thinking about too deeply.

“I hadn’t considered it,” you repeated, although no one had spoken since.

As you watched your father and brothers move away to begin their afternoon shooting, you couldn’t help but feel like an entire world of possibilities had just opened. As you had very unconvincingly told your family, you had never seriously considered Colin Bridgerton as someone you could marry, let alone this season!

And whenever you had had those… thoughts… it was only because you knew that there was no chance you would actually marry him. He was safe. You didn’t have to worry about all the minutiae of whether he would be a good husband because there was simply no reason to. Or at least there hadn’t been until now.

But could you really like him? Could you grow to have feelings for him? You weren’t sure, and you certainly weren’t ready to sit down and think about it. What you had with him now was good, it was comforting. He was your friend, and you wanted nothing more than to continue having him in your life in that capacity.

—

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[pangeen]

" Dual Onslaught " //© Nati Milner & Paul Howard

In a rare orchestration of Earth's elemental forces, an erupting Volcan de Fuego coincides with a separate, but equally astonishing, electrical storm overhead. As lava and ash define the terrestrial spectacle, flashes of lightning add an electrifying dimension to the sky. Unfurling in real-time, this uncommon alignment serves as an awe-inducing example of Earth's unpredictable nature. Just when it seems the planet has shown all it can offer, moments like these remind us that nature's capacity to amaze is just about limitless. To translate this into influencer: the sky and the volcano are doing an epic collab, we’ve all been waiting for this to happen, but it just never seemed to materialize. Finally, each we’re able to get their shit together, and now we can all move on to the next thing.

Music: © Gojira - This Emptiness

[casscainmainly]

So, I saw your Cass & Jason should fight (& Cass should win obviously) tag and totally agree with your stance!

However, given how often Jason's been characterized as an incompetent "Thug" due to classism, I'd ideally want it to let both characters shine, which can't happen in a pure CQC scenario.

At top form Jason's a bit better than Bruce, (UTRH - Comic) which is enough to not get instantly shit stomped but not really enough to make spectacle or show off either characters best side.

Not sure how one could arrange it in current comics, but my ideal was always an alt timeline where Bruce died or had to step down post War Games & was replaced by Cass.

Naturally the dynamic with Red Hood is different, in that there isn't one, he avoids the new Batman like the plague and relies on backdoor hacking & spying to work around or sabotage her.

Thus its been a steep learning curve and exploration of Cass's other skills, IE detective work, people reading, weapons expertise (We know she's trained in guns & such after all)

A series would be ideal, but if it was just one comic issue, ideally the first third sets up the status quo & what is about to break it.

The second third lets Jason's strategic side shine, he's got ambushes, bombs, flares, those miniguns popping out of cars he loved so much.

Then the third and final segment is when Cass has finally found wherever he slipped away to after thinking he got away.

"... I don't suppose all the guns and bombs wore you out enough to make this easy on me did they?"

Cassandra just smirks.

Cue the final third (Or at least a decent portion of it) being an epic, but pointedly one-sided overall, duel. With every weapon, martial arts technique and piece of scenery put to use. All in the name of dragging out the fight for the audiences sake and cos it makes sense character wise.

Naturally Cassandra wins.

Oh my goodness?? You should write comics because I would read the HELL out of that. I definitely think Jason's intelligence has been weirdly diminished recently (definitely classism, combined with DC's push since New 52 to make Tim the 'smart' one and Jason the 'strong' one because why were they LIKE that in B&R: Eternal).

And Cass' arc in learning detective skills is one of the most underrated things in Batgirl (2000) and beyond! She is a detective and, while she for sure punches her way through stuff, her intelligence shouldn't be sidelined for her fighting prowess. So basically you've written the arc of my dreams.

Also I adore the idea that whoever takes the mantle, Jason will be there to be super annoying. Happened to Dick, and will happen to Cass as well. He's a multi-generational hater.

Someone write this please!!!!

[ivvwwwwwi34]

Some of my Pierre headcanons (mostly about his childhood)

so a little introduction:

What do we know about Pierre's past? Literally nothing - small bits of information that do not give a clear and complete picture of his youth and childhood. What's left? Right, to try to make up his past from scratch, based on facts from various dialogues in the vanilla game/his character/outlook/behavior.

consider these headcanons a big, unashamedly OOC thing. yeaah..

here we go.

✻。※＊ ✻。※＊ ✻。※＊ ✻。※＊ ✻。※＊ ✻。※＊ ✻

- As a child he was a very sensitive and vulnerable boy. Little things that were world-class problems to his childhood mind would bring him to tears - an accidental balloon burst, or any random rustle. And besides that he was curious about many things and naive. Looking at him now - at this self-confident man, proud and determined, it is impossible to say that that little shaggy-haired boy, awkwardly peeking out from behind his mother's skirt is.. him.

he looks like a little shaggy kitten

- Perhaps the main detail that played a huge role in the formation of his personality - is his father. Proud, unapproachable head of the family caused fear and respect on the part of the little silly Pierre. And traditional, ancient as the world itself views Pierre learned from him, and no matter how hard he tried to get rid of these outdated dogmas, his father's strong and heavy upbringing and his speeches ingrained in his brain are still evident to this day

- Because of his fragile soul and emotional nature, Pierre was often the subject of his father's constant lectures and his attempts to make Pierre a "real man"; holding back emotions, ignoring, which was one way to toughen up an unfortunate child. Nevertheless, such unhealthy methods of education helped, and the little one, for the sake of his father's respect and praise, endeavored to suppress himself and to bear any pain without much expression of strong emotion (which then affected him greatly in the future and to this day)

- Another more... er... light headcanon - he's not French as some people think just because of his name. He's definitely European (maybe even Slavic, which I usually rely on the most), but he's definitely not a native French. His parents chose that name because... you know-

― «it sounds epic, aristocratic, beautiful, why not name our son that?»

- Pierre has always been.. a spectacles guy. In addition to some silly character traits and a prominent nose with a slight bump, his father passed on his nearsightedness; and as a child (probably around 6 or 7 years old) he had to wear glasses. It wasn't a problem at this time, but... not when he was a teenager, when wearing glasses was considered "uncool" for him--

.. okay that's enough for today

[mermaidsirennikita]

I hope that the hype around Gladiator 2 leads to some of the excited people who most definitely haven't seen the original Gladiator... to watch that... because it's so symbolic of the type of movie we just don't really make anymore, and the only reason why Gladiator 2 is happening is because this one was THAT successful

Like, this was when instead of spending a fuckton of money on superhero shit or other types of preexisting IP, they gave Ridley Scott a huge budget ($103 mill back then, $187 mill today, I weep) and it was spent on shit like... S-tier actors monologuing about slavery and morality and incestuous desire... and HUGE battle scenes that actually had movement.... and BANGING lines like "On my signal--unleash hell"or "I will have my vengeance IN THIS LIFE OR THE NEXT"

It's not a PERFECT film but it's an extremely fun movie that also has a story that isn't necessarily easy (the villain is atrocious but also clearly had a subpar father who ruled an empire well but raised his kids not well, the aforementioned incest plot is a thing, the hero has a dead wife he loved but also a complex relationship with a woman whose role should be bigger BUT she is not Nice and Sweet and she is by NO means a madonna or a virgin, the ending is not like... again simple) and there is no sense that the movie doubts the audience's ability to enjoy the spectacle and epic nature of the film while also accepting that there isn't necessarily a clear-cut narrative where there are No Problems Ever Again and Everyone Is Good

And it did in fact make a lot of money

[mosticonicbirdcallbracket]

MOST ICONIC BIRD CALL BRACKET: ROUND THREE: WAR OF THE WATERFOWL: CANADA GOOSE vs. MALLARD DUCK

IN THE BLUE CORNER, we have a competitor that represents the indomitable spirit of the world's lakes. brace yourselves for the powerhouse of the bird world, the CANADA GOOSE!

with feathers in striking shades of black and white and a presence that demands respect, this avian behemoth is a force to be reckoned with. the canada goose possesses tremendous strength and unyielding endurance. it charges into the fray, flapping its mighty wings and delivering powerful strikes that send opponents reeling.

tonight, this feathered warrior will spread its wings and soar to new heights, showcasing the power of unity and the triumph of nature's champions. prepare for an epic showdown, as the canada goose takes center stage and asserts its dominance in the ring like a true avian legend!

IN THE RED CORNER, hailing from tranquil waters and wetlands, prepare yourselves for the epitome of grace and versatility, the MALLARD DUCK!

with feathers shimmering in hues of emerald green and deep chestnut, this avian marvel is a sight to behold. known for its iconic quacks and its charisma, the mallard duck embodies beauty and resilience.

this avian showstopper thrives in the spotlight, seizing every opportunity to leave a lasting impression. it combines its athletic prowess with cunning tactics, outmaneuvering opponents with swift movements and surprise attacks.

tonight, this feathered marvel will take flight, capturing our hearts with its stunning performance. prepare for a spectacle of elegance and power, as the mallard duck dominates the competition and leaves us in awe of its natural brilliance!

[ophanum]

can you do a Karma with a sassy but attractive female reader??🫶🏻

' TALK TOO MUCH ! - Karma Akabane

ft. Karma Akabane x Sassy! Fem! reader

Synopsis: Another student transferred 3-E and it seems like she was a carbon copy of Karma except for the fact that she creates verbal trouble around the campus.

❝Honey, come put your lips on mine and shut me up. We could blame it all on human nature.❞ Talk too much by COIN.

From the moment you transferred to 3-E, your wit matched Karma's bite for bite. You weren't intimidated by his reputation as a delinquent; in fact, you found it a bit endearing (in a twisted way, of course).

Your first interaction was legendary. During PE, Karma rigged a dodgeball to explode in Nakamura's hand. You, with lightning-fast reflexes, snagged the ball mid-air before Nakamura even noticed. You smirked at Karma, the ball smoking slightly in your grip, and tossed it back at him with a nonchalant, "Nice try, newbie." The audacity. Karma's eyes gleamed with a competitive fire he hadn't felt in a while. This wasn't some scared newbie; you were a worthy opponent.

And ever since you two's shenanigans just makes the whole class deadpan with a chorus of "Are you kidding me"s.

Your academic prowess rivaled his. You aced every pop quiz, effortlessly countering his taunts with even sharper wit. You were undeniably attractive too. You had a way of carrying yourself that commanded attention, and Karma, though he'd never admit it, found himself drawn to your confidence.

Your banter became a schoolyard spectacle. Teachers would groan as your verbal jabs escalated, occasionally erupting into full-blown arguments. But beneath the surface, there was a grudging respect. Karma at first thought it was annoying lol, but he has grown to, again, tip off his hat because he too, has a history of injustice. Karma loved a good challenge, and you provided that in spades. You, in turn, appreciated his cunning and his surprising protectiveness towards Class 3-E.

Koro-sensei, ever the perceptive teacher, saw the potential for… something more. He'd nudge the two of you together for group projects, a sly grin on his tentacle-face. And slowly, amidst the chaos of assassination attempts and remedial lessons, a hesitant camaraderie blossomed.

Late nights studying in the empty classroom turned into comfortable silences, punctuated by the occasional playful jab. You'd tease him about his messy handwriting, and he'd counter with a comment about your equally messy desk (though secretly he found it oddly endearing).

You turn out to be a dab hand at lockpicking, a skill you picked up from a childhood fascination with mystery novels. Karma, ever the prankster, uses this to his advantage, recruiting you for "reconnaissance missions" that usually involve retrieving confiscated gadgets from Koro-sensei's secret stash.

Your rivalry extends beyond academics. You discover a shared love for video games, and your fierce competition translates to epic controller battles. Losers (usually Karma) have to endure a week of victory bragging rights and embarrassing nicknames.

Despite your sassy exterior, you have a soft spot for cute animals. Karma, being the devil he is, exploits this by strategically placing stray kittens or puppies near you during Koro-sensei's lectures. He finds your flustered attempts to resist them utterly adorable.

Karma, for all his bluster, secretly admires your bravery. He's seen you stand up to bullies and put yourself at risk to protect others, a quality he deeply respects. But of course, he'd never admit it outright.

Karma shows his (twisted) form of affection by "helping" you with tasks. This might involve "accidentally" tripping someone who's bothering you, "borrowing" your textbook to strategically "lose" it near your crush's desk, or "disposing" of a particularly annoying classmate's love letters. While you might initially fume, you can't help but find his methods strangely endearing.

[artzychic27]

Blame @msweebyness’s post for this… I call this au Miraculopolis

@imsparky2002

Marinette: Goddess of Luck and Chance. Her symbols are ladybugs and clovers

Adrien: God of Family and Children. His symbols are domestic cats and carnations

Alya: Goddess of Messaging and Facts. Her symbols are spectacles and pigeons

Nino: God of Protection and Defense. His symbols are shields and turtles

Nathaniel: God of the Fine Arts and Inspiration. His symbols are paintbrushes and peacocks

Alix: Goddess of Time and Memory. Her symbols are clocks and rabbits

Juleka: Goddess of Serenity and Inner Beauty. Her symbols are mirrors and ravens

Rose: Goddess of Romance and Love. Her symbols are roses and doves

Sabrina: Goddess of Loyalty and Companionship. Her symbols are rings and wolves

Chloé: Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity. Her symbols are gold coins and bees

Kim: God of Sportsmanship and Victory. His symbols are palm branches and eagles

Max: God of Statistics and Possibilities. His symbols are abacuses and horses

Ivan: God of Poetry and Ballads. His symbols are quills and mice

Myléne: Goddess of Nature and Grains. Her symbols are cornucopias and bears

Marc: God of Literature and Epic Tales. His symbols are fountain pens and roosters

Aurore: Goddess of the Sun. Her symbols are parasols and lions

Mireille: Goddess of the Moon. Her symbols are wool and sheep

Reshma: Goddess of Craftmentship. Her symbols are a needle and thread and spiders

Ismael: God of Mischief. His symbols are apples and foxes

Lacey: Goddess of Siblinghood. Her symbols are rope and frogs

Jean: God of Theater and Entertainment. His symbols are comedy and tragedy masks, and songbirds

Cosette: Goddess of Masking and Adaption. Her symbols are a makeup pallet and chameleons

Zoé: Goddess of Rebellion. Her symbols are broken handcuffs and a tiger

Simon: God of Technology and Surveillance. His symbols are eye-shaped pendants and hawks

Denise: Goddex of Strength and Health. Their symbols are barbells and bulls

Luka: God of Music and Emotional health. His symbols are lyres and snakes

Kagami: Goddess of Combat. Her symbols are swords and dragons

Ondine: Goddess of the Sea. Her symbols are a trident and orcas

Different nations, different mythologies and deities

They’re all powerful deities, but they still act like teenagers, get crushes, drink a lot of wine, have wild parties up in the heavens, and crash mortal parties whenever they please

Being the goddess of Masking and Adaption, Cosette can shapeshift into any animal she pleases while the others only shapeshift into the animals they’re associated with

Cosette: Random animal exit! *Shapeshift into a shark and starts flopping around on the ground before shifting back and gasping for air* Random… Land animal exit! *Shapeshifts into an ostrich and walks away*

Zoé: Even as an ostrich, they’re still gorgeous.

Marc and Nathaniel have been crushing on each other for eons

Rose and Juleka have been girlfriends for centuries now. Juleka is not affected by Rose’s romance-inducing aura, and Rose is not affected by Juleka’s almost ethereal beauty. They just love each other

Adrien has almost this maternal instinct due to being the god of family and children, and as such, he adores mortal infants

A former member of the gods and goddesses of Miraculous is Lila, the goddess of deceit and trickery. Her symbols are jackals and masks. She still has her divine powers, but she’s not allowed back in the skyward abode of the gods and goddesses for a multitude of reasons, and has offended each of the others gods in some way

Also… She was just annoying as hell

*During an outing in the divine garden, long before Lila was banished, Myléne is telling the others about a new tree she had come up with. The others are listening intently when Lila suddenly interrupts*

Nino: Someone, make her stop!

*Nathaniel summons his paintbrush staff and slathers a bit of red paint over Lila’s mouth. It dries in an instant, and her words come out muffled*

Nino: *Sighs* Much butter.

Ismael possesses an object called The Golden Apple of Chaos. Basically, when he throws it, it causes some sort of havoc somewhere

He’s always tempting mortal children to cause a little chaos

Ismael: Just think of it, Manon. You, me. All the chaos. All the discord! ALL THE FREE CHICKEN!

Legend from both Miraculous and Prodigious mythology tells of a monster named Kiku, once a mortal man who wanted to become stronger. One night, he snuck into Kim, Denise, and Kagami’s temples, and stole one of Kim’s medals, one of Denise’s barbels, and one of Kagami’s swords. When they discovered this, the god, goddex, and goddess punished him by turning him into a monstrous bear-like creature. He had impenetrable skin and could tear through entire villages with his claws

One quirk about him is that whenever he gets flustered or excited, a peacock tail will fan out from behind him

A tale from mythology of Miraculous talks about how Nino developed feelings for Alya when she protected him and several mortals from a dangerous monster while they were visiting the mortal realm

Wherever Marinette steps, four-leaf clovers grow

When they arrive in the mortal realm, their entrances are all a sight to behold that you’ll wanna punch yourself if you miss them

According to Miraculous mythology, whenever Rose travels to the mortal realm, she descends from the sky in a flurry of rose petals. And when she lands on the ground, several doves appear at her side, and she emits a pink aura that causes people to momentarily fall in love with the first person they see

When Nathaniel comes to visit the mortal realm, the sky becomes an array of colors as his beautiful, iridescent chariot is drawn by several peacocks.

Reshma descends from the sky, performing aerial tricks using spider web silk. Her feet never touch the ground as a clutter of spiders carry her about, almost making it look like she’s gliding

Lore has it, that centuries ago, Denise nursed a young injured bull they named Aithen back to health, and infused him with some of their divine magic, helping him grow stronger over time until he was able to pull their heavy two ton chariot on his own

And, there is a tale stating that Simon won Denise’s heart after using his wits to vanquish a monster attacking the mortals

According to mythology, Lacey bestows blessings on mortal children and their siblings, helping to strengthen their bonds and know when their siblings are in need

While Lila may be the goddess of deceit and has done some terrible things over the centuries, she still has standards. As such, she refuses to ever interact with Lucien, the god of Onedience and Power, and Emani, the god of Manipulation, who were also ousted from their heavenly abodes

Max’s sacred object is his golden abacus, gifted to him by Kim. Centuries ago, Kim melted several of his prized golden medals to create it for him

During the annual Olympics hosted by the Miraculous, teams from different nations come to compete for glory. The gods and goddesses watch from the stands while disguised as humans or the animals they are associated with. Kim, meanwhile, is in his god form and loudly cheering for the team representing Miraculous

While Nathaniel is one of the kindest gods of Miraculous, but he also has a fiery temper. When provoked, he’ll fly into a rage, and even the other deities know to approach with caution

One way to piss him off is by claiming you’re a better artist than him. He’ll curse you so that any piece of art or art material you touch will turn into dust. *cough* Louis *cough*

Due to being the Prodigious god of not only Theater, but also Entertainment, whenever there’s a party happening in the mortal realm, Jean is known to make a grand appearance. This is usually when he feels as though the party’s reaches its peak. Guests are to be advised that whenever Jean attends a mortal party, it doesn’t stop unless he wants to stop. The longest was a week

Zoé, the Prodigious goddess of Rebellion is also known to frequent parties, usually ones thrown by teenagers who plan and attend it without their parents knowing. From the heavens, she descends using a charriot drawn by two majestic tigers. She describes parties such as that as, “Rebellion in its most premature form!”

[j4m3s-b4k3r]

Staying Alive

Godzilla is just gonna smash stuff. Every time. No matter what humans do. Award winning actors & big name directors can headline a story where elite military forces wield the most advanced tech on Earth, but none of that will matter. The franchise requires that the big lizard will prevail. There is always entertaining spectacle, but (for me) there's little emotional engagement, because humans are merely gnats buzzing around the feet of The Big G. And so, I prepared for the inevitable cocktail of uninvolving mayhem as the lights went down before the latest Godzilla flick.

However, GODZILLA: MINUS ONE gripped me from the very beginning and didn’t let me go. I was amazed by this. I’d always felt that the sheer futility of any human action in a Godzilla film was the reason that these films would always have little involvement, despite all their spectacle. However, this film defeats those dramatic problems by flying straight into the eye of the storm. The implacable force of Godzilla is flipped, in a judo-throw by writer/director TAKASHI YAMAZAKI, to tell a moving story about human frailty.

After a cataclysmic war, the protagonist (movingly played by RYUNOSUKE KAMIKI) deals with the shame of being a kamikaze pilot who came home. To a Japan utterly firebombed into ashes by Bomber Command. Much of the plot deals with remorse, survivor’s guilt, and people forgiving others & themselves. With loved ones all dead, new families form when complete strangers become attached to each other. Every character is trying to pick up the pieces, and all their stories are affecting. 

In this Godzilla film, the human story is the A-story, and Godzilla is actually the B-story, and that’s why it works so well. Here, Godzilla is just a force of nature. Like the earthquakes, tsunamis and typhoons that frequently bash the Japanese archipelago. The A-story is about humans making sense of life after cataclysm, just as the Japanese people have done countless times over the centuries. The frailty of human life is the very point of this story, which seems to ask - are frailty, failure and futility the same thing? 

In fact, this could be a moving film about finding meaning amongst the ruins, even without any Godzilla at all. Adding in a rampaging radioactive monster heightens the drama & stakes when these new human connections have been made. Godzilla is the ultimate unstoppable chaos agent, and in the right hands, the perfect vehicle for telling a story about finding meaning after loss, tragedy & defeat. Staying alive by accident, or even cowardice, isn’t a disgrace if something meaningful is done with the life that remains. 

I often squirm when a movie is over 2 hours, but GODZILLA: MINUS ONE didn’t feel bloated at all. Every scene and each performance strengthened the whole. It both looked & felt like a blockbuster epic, but apparently cost less than 15 million dollars. It was very impressive indeed.

5 Radioactive Stars!

[raychelsnr]

Well, well, well, Mother Nature sure knows how to keep us on our toes! Oklahoma never fails to surprise us. We were all geared up for an epic chase day, ready to witness some jaw-dropping tornado action. But guess what? A line decided to crash the party. Talk about a plot twist! Now, don't get me wrong, a line can be exciting too. But let's be honest, it's not quite the same as a massive twister tearing through the plains. However, just when we thought the show was over, something magical happened. As the line moved on, the skies began to transform. The waning light cast a mesmerizing glow upon the clouds, creating a breathtaking spectacle that left us in awe. Not a bad way to end a chase day!

[danwhobrowses]

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - Quickfire Review

So I am out of the cinema, and I have thoughts

We've finally reached the sequel to the epic Spider-verse movie, which in itself rewrote the rules on animation while being able to juggle a large cast outside of the Marvel machine.

So let me tell you my experience with the movie

Spoilers for the movie, you've been warned

Okay, this was a lot

It was really good, but it was a lot

I really don't want to speak badly about this movie because it is not at all bad, it's a visual spectacle with many twists and great characters. But I think the plot lost me. The main reason I think it lost me was the crux of 'Canon Events', which I will get more into, but given that last movie was about anyone being a Spider it was irksome that the story is also 'yes but you also have to have the exact same experiences which strips your story of agency'. I also think that the retcon that Peter A would've survived is wrong, and if all Spiders are meant to have the same chain of happening then why is Miles, the anomaly, subject to that rule in a universe where that chain has already happened? Also if he's an anomaly why didn't the universe disappear after a year of him and the Spider from Earth-42 being in this world? In a way it does threaten to lose the heart of what made the first movie so good too.

I also feel like it was two or three movies stitched together, Gwen's story was great, albeit with so much angst, Miles' story in his universe barely got going and Miles vs Spider Society was the main part of the narrative, and while it was woven together well I think the magnitude of it all took me out of it a bit, a lot of the times I felt like it was gonna end and then it went on for another 10-30 minutes, and it is a bad sign when you can feel the length of a movie. Honestly we could've easily gotten away with a Spider-Gwen movie of her own, let it cliffhanger with the cold open we got then have the final interaction with her dad and the infinite amount of colour palettes in this movie with just the Miles stuff going on.

My main character critique is probably the sourness that they did EXACTLY what I feared they would do to Miguel O'Hara. Spider-Man 2099 is my favourite Spider-Man but they really did decuple down on the edginess over the basis of his suit and powers. I mean sure, he has trauma that has killed off the last of his lighthearted value we saw in last-movie's post-credits scene, but most Spiders have trauma, and he did essentially steal another man's life for his own. I think the fact that he puts a ton of pressure on himself to uphold other timelines didn't quite come across so well, because they needed him to take over as the primary antagonist and 'the guy who tells Miles the stuff his mother warns him people may say to him'. Also, Miguel is different from most spiders because he doesn't have his Uncle Ben moment, he was a dick who caught conscience and Alchemax tried to silence him and accidentally gave him spider powers, so that also hinders the 'Canon Events' plot of Uncle Ben and Captain Stacy moments happening. Jessica Drew I struggled to get around to, loved her at the start but then she just started being cold, same can be said for Miles' parents towards Gwen, they picked one thing she couldn't have known they'd dislike and that was their tone towards her for most of their interactions after.

B U T !

Do I intend to watch Beyond the Spider-Verse? Yes! Absolutely.

Because even with the narrative flaws and the irksome nature that some characters are just being cold for little reason and that one of your favourite comics Spider-Man is not represented the same way, there is an extremely good movie in here. The art was amazing, in between all universes, the music was AMAZING, like Gwen vs Vulture just had an amazing soundtrack on its own. And gods all the Easter eggs; game and live action continuity weaved in, Ben Reilly, Unlimited Spidey, Julia Carpenter, adult MayDay Spider, Venom movie shop, even Prowler Donald Glover! There is so much to enjoy and the more you know about the several iterations and media of Spider-Man the more you find to enjoy.

But Hobie (Spider-Punk) stole the fucking show, everything he did was gold, Pavitr was fun but we needed more of him same with Spiderbyte and really Peter B and Miguel, Spot was hilarious too and then terrifying-looking when he reached his full potential, also Penny has an EVA now. The Spiders chase was well done with its clever quips and dynamic use of other spiders, the cold open was also inventive with Renaissance-verse Vulture. And then of course we got a very gripping cliffhanger, I like the squad we have for Gwen to rescue Miles and I can only beg that Lord and Miller manage to tone down and bring Miguel around in a satisfying manner without having to compromise the integrity and heart of the plot as Miles seeks a way to save his father without erasing his universe.

If anything this movie will keep you on your toes, it is stylistic beyond anything you might have seen before, but it can easily get overwhelming. I personally enjoyed as much as Guardians 3, maybe more by a slight margin (the highs are higher but the qualms are greater so hard to tell), but I also feel like it's not better than the first plot-wise just because of that feeling of being overwhelmed. It is worth a watch though for sure.

[tobytost]

In the grand expanse of the cosmos, where stars flicker with ancient wisdom and galaxies pulse with the heartbeat of creation, there exists a realm where imagination reigns supreme. Within this boundless expanse, there emerged a craftsman named Dave Filoni, a bard whose tales once resonated with the harmonious chords of the Force. In the beginning, his hands sculpted worlds, his words breathed life into characters, and his vision illuminated the darkest corners of a galaxy far, far away.

Oh, how we marveled at his ingenuity! The Clone Wars, his magnum opus, unfolded like an epic poem, each episode a verse in a cosmic ballad. Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, and the clones—they danced through his narrative with grace, their stories etched into the very stars. It was Filoni’s storytelling that rekindled the spirit of Star Wars, bringing forth a resurgence of hope among the faithful.

But as the wheel of time turned, a shadow crept over Filoni’s creations. The nefarious specter of greed began to weave its tendrils around the heart of his storytelling. The allure of profit beckoned, whispering promises of wealth and power. And thus, the purity of Filoni’s artistry began to wane, eclipsed by the insatiable hunger of corporate coffers.

We, the ardent admirers of Filoni’s craft, find ourselves in a state of profound lamentation. Where once there was depth, there now lies a barren landscape of shallow plots and hollow characters. The live-action series under Filoni’s stewardship, once hailed as the heralds of a new era, now stand as monuments to avarice. These productions, bereft of the soul that defined his animated triumphs, reek of profit-driven decisions. Substance has been forsaken for spectacle, and intricate storytelling sacrificed upon the altar of easy fan service.

Yet, in the depths of our sorrow, we extend a hesitant hand towards Filoni, seeking to understand the nature of his fall from grace. Is he a captive bard, his creativity held hostage against his will? We theorize, not out of malice, but out of a desperate desire to preserve the belief in his intrinsic brilliance. Could it be that his hands are tied, his creativity stifled under breakneck deadlines and profit-hungry overlords? The very thought chills the heart, for it suggests that the shackles of capitalism have ensnared even the most luminous minds.

And so, until the truth unveils itself, we stand resolute in our condemnation of the avaricious grip of the Disney corporation. The gloved hands of a mouse have become instruments of oppression, throttling the imagination and desecrating the sacred lore we hold dear. The weight of this corporate yoke stifles not only Filoni’s genius but also the collective dreams of fans worldwide.

In the echoes of our discontent, there lingers a glimmer of hope—a hope that one day, Filoni will break free from these chains, that he will once again wield his storytelling prowess with unbridled passion and unwavering dedication. Until then, we raise our voices in defiance, calling for the restoration of creativity, integrity, and the boundless spirit of storytelling that the Star Wars universe deserves.

manifesto anon you genuinely brought my mood up, it's been such a crazy fucking day, sorry I've been delaying answering this but it's always so funny to read your little manifestos they make me giggle

[the-curious-butterfly]

My first set of HC went over pretty nicely that I decided to do another one. So here’s Dragoona, Clankie, and Spawdeen in “Who made the first move?”

Dragoona: 1000% Lagoona, when the ghoul discovered she had feelings for the adorable vampire it didn’t even take a second before the sea monster was in front of her dorm room with flowers carved from the bones of finemies she recently eaten and a box of chocolates she may have possibly maybe stolen from somewhere, but does Draculaura really need to know that? No, of course not. Lagoona made a big spectacle of it too, it wasn’t enough to just say she liked Draculaura. No she didn’t say it, she sang it using the words of a teranovela she once saw with her grandmonster.

How she managed to pull it off is something no one will ever know.

Clankie: Frankie, after careful deliberation and debating with themselves about the pros and cons of whatever action they took they had finally decided to just go for it. And they did right before the Monster Ball. At first they were trying to go for a grand elaborate spectacle (even going so far to ask Lagoona for advice on such) only for it to end up being rather simple. Despite appearances Cleo was more than happy with a simple “I like you.” To which her response was “I like you too.”

Spawdeen: Both. They were partnered together in Screech class and the assignment was to bring awareness to a serious topic. Their topic was interspecies marriage to which Clawdeen gave an epic monologue on how there’s no reason a werewolf and a ghost couldn’t fall in love and live happily ever after. For once Spectra had no words in response as she found herself imagining just such a scenario. Not even realizing when that werewolf became Clawdeen, and that unbeknownst to her something similar was happening in the other’s imagination.

From then on the tone of their conversations changed, and they discovered that it flowed naturally between them. Despite being completely different monsters they had a lot in common. Spectra also liked to do research on topics she found fascinating. To which Clawdeen offered that maybe they could do their research together.

[dark-elf-writes]

You ever run on the edge of exhaustion for days and are more than a little convinced you’ll never write again when a scene hits you so hard you have to write it out right that moment or explode?

Anyway, Leaf House Cloud snippet anyone?

“Where did you get that?” Tseng asked when Cloud produced a bottle from seemingly nowhere once they had found an empty stretch of roof to sit, the night still too young to retire but neither of them wanting to deal with the press of the crowds below.

(A professional hazard, the paranoia. Still the view of Midgar at night was hardly the worst in the world.)

One day Cloud would stop surprising him, but tonight, with a stolen bottle of wine in his hands and a darkly amused smile on his lips, would not be that night. It was fortunate that mischief was such a good look on him. More fortunate still that Tseng was no shining beacon of morality himself.

“The table next to ours had… opinions on the nature of our relationship and on what, exactly, a ‘slum rat’ like me is useful for to a man like you.” While his time in Midgar had gentled the Nibel drawl to Cloud’s words to anyone who didn’t know to listen for it, there was no mistaking the underplate accent. One intentionally learned.

(“The kids are more comfortable with someone that sounds like them,” Cloud had explained once, nodding to where a little girl was hanging off of Reno’s arm while she chattered at him. “It feels like home.”)

The smile Cloud sent him was all Nibel, however. Wild and full of far too many teeth to be polite. A wolf in the skin of a man. All too bright eyes and deceptive strength hidden in his slight form.

Tseng had never seen someone more beautiful.

“Figured if they were going to treat me like a rat, I might as well get something out of it. Payment for being their dinner entertainment.” The ice in those softly glowing blue eyes said enough about exactly the kind of conversation their fellow restaurant goers had been having.

(Perhaps it was fortunate that they had only spoken loud enough for Cloud’s enhanced senses to catch. Tseng was not nearly so forgiving.)

“Some might think that proving them wrong is the greater revenge.”

Cloud turned to him, pointing the top of the bottle at him in accusation. “Are you going honorable on me, Turk?”

Tseng wondered if Cloud saw the irony of the most honorable man Tseng knew, albeit in his own way, throwing the word at him like a curse. Still, it wasn’t worth ruining their night by pointing it out.

“With a vintage that fine as your prize? Hardly. Though it is a crime to drink it straight from the bottle.”

Cloud’s laugh was little more of a huff of air as he pulled out a knife, Reno’s old knife by the looks of it, cruelly serrated and certainly overkill for the poor cork, and carefully worked it in at an angle. When the cork popped free Cloud looked back up at him with that wild smile. “I can drink it all myself, if you want.”

Tseng took the bottle and tipped his head back for a long drink. As fine as the wine was, Cloud’s laughter was far more intoxicating.

Midgar didn’t have parks. Was far too well lit to see the stars. But seeing Cloud with his jacket open and legs dangling over the side of the roof, Tseng wondered if this was the feeling romantics chased with grand gestures and over the top spectacles. There would be no epic poem for their story, no record of their love forever immortalized in words to be repeated night after night in an opulent theater full of the exact type of person Cliud would steal from as compensation. There was only this moment. Only the two of them suspended above the city with Mako smoke burning their lungs and alcohol burning in their veins.

It was enough for him. Enough for Cloud too it seemed, when the man leaned into Tseng’s side as he regaled him with a tale of one of the many times he had send the Don’s thugs running from his little safe haven in the slums.

No epic tales, no eternal love story. Only Cloud and Tseng and and the blood that stained both of their hands.

It was far better than LOVELESS any day.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Schiaparelli’s ‘Inferno’: A journey to Hell and back

I’ve always wondered if today’s self-absorbed creative directors and edgy designers at the leading luxury fashion houses based in Paris are familiar with George Santayana’s cutting observation that, “Fashion is something barbarous, for it produces innovation without reason and imitation without benefit.” On the evidence of this year’s Paris Fashion Week I think not.

For the Spring 2023 collection at Paris Fashion Week, Schiaparelli creative director Daniel Roseberry revealed in pre-show notes that he was specifically drawn to Dante Alighieri’s magisterial Divine Comedy. He was especially inspired by Inferno, the 14th-century Italian poet’s renderings of Hell. Present as spectators and models were some of the internet’s favourite muses, such as Kylie Jenner wearing taxi-dermied outfits with hyperrealistic faux animal heads affixed to a fitted gown.

The singer Doja Cat was also there, appearing bald and covered in red gemstones at the steps of the Petit Palais like a demonic red figure. In other pieces, gold-painted torsos and metallic sculptural heads paid tribute to the house’s founder, Elsa Schiaparelli, and her ties to Surrealist artists like Man Ray, Salvador Dalí, and Meret Oppenheim during the 1930s. She was the subject of a recent retrospective at the the Musée des Arts Décoratifs in Paris last year in 2022, and her collaborations with those artists demonstrated a propensity to shock audiences with strange garments that at times merged human bodies with animal features.

Throughout the haute couture show, Roseberry brought to life versions of Dante’s epic poem’s three allegorical animals: the lion, the leopard, and the she-wolf. Accordingly he dressed three super models, Shalom Harlow as the leopard, Naomi Campbell as the she-wolf, and Irina Shayk as the lion. All three haute couture dresses were sculpted and embroidered by hand, “celebrating the beauty of nature and guarding the woman who wears it” said the proud creative director.

When I read that particular remark I almost choked on my tea. I was sitting in a nearby Parisian café with my younger sister, who was visiting me in France, and one of our French-Nordic cousins who actually works in the luxury brand corporate world as a senior exec in LVMH. Through our cousin we had managed to see one or two of the fashion shows last week. It’s not really my cup of tea, but I gave in to indulge my visiting sister and my cousin who loves her job. 

Many people outside of haute couture world of Paris Fashion Week, focused on the spectacle of cruelty of seeing three stuffed animal heads on the bosoms of three super models strutting on a fashion show runway. Most of the criticism was misplaced as it showed little understanding what a haute couture show is all about. It allows the talented designer to let his/her hair down and show off their most off the wall ideas, and above it’s meant to be playful.

That said, I, however, was focused on what Daniel Roseberry actually said of his collection. I thought it was a misquote but no, as it turned out later, it’s what the designer said.

I resisted the urge to feel ‘offended’ and to look around for a pitch fork to join the unruly easily offended mob to denounce the designer. To me it wasn’t about the Surrealist heritage of Schiaparelli that the creative director drew inspiration from for one part of his show - that’s what one might expect from that fashion house. Nor was it the animal depiction on dress gowns that was pretty par for course for any haute couture fashion show - which I personally found garish and in bad taste - but which drew the public outcry against the perception of animal cruelty.

No, it was the crime of cultural vandalism against Dante himself.

I have no idea if Roseberry has actually read the Dante’s Divine Comedy or not but from his remarks that his hideous creations were “celebrating the beauty of nature and guarding the woman who wears it” he clearly hadn’t or was high as a kite on drugs and high energy drinks.

So I’m going to discuss Dante’s three wild beasts as Dante wrote them.

In the opening Canto of the Divine Comedy, Dante encounters three ferocious animals: the leopard, the lion and the she-wolf.

In the first canto of the Inferno, Dante, having gone astray in a dark wood, reaches the base of a sunlit hill (later described by Virgil as “the mountain of delight, the origin and cause of every joy”) and begins to climb - only to find the way blocked by three beasts. First, a leopard appears.

And almost where the hillside starts to rise - look there! - a leopard, very quick and lithe, a leopard covered with a spotted hide. He did not disappear from sight, but stayed; indeed, he so impeded my ascent that I had often to turn back again.

It is a spring morning, and “the hour and the gentle season” give Dante “good cause for hopefulness” upon seeing the leopard - but then he sees a lion.

but hope was hardly able to prevent the fear I felt when I beheld a lion. His head held high and ravenous with hunger - even the air around him seemed to shudder - this lion seemed to make his way against me.

When the third beast appears, Dante gives up hope entirely.

And then a she-wolf showed herself; she seemed to carry every craving in her leanness; she had already brought despair to many. The very sight of her so weighted me with fearfulness that I abandoned hope of ever climbing up that mountain slope. . . . I retreated down to lower ground.

When you read Dante - in Italian or in translation - nothing you read ever so simple and nothing should be taken at face value. Indeed in the Divine Comedy almost nothing is said without good reason. Take the verse preceding the appearance of the three beasts.

When I had rested my body there a while I then started again up the barren slope the more powerful foot always behind the other

Dante refers to the manner of his climb. He makes the climb with ‘the more powerful foot always behind the other’. One foot (the more powerful) is always behind (lower than) the other. This is a difficult line to interpret. It could of course simply be a description of how someone climbs a hill. You plant one foot in the ground and then push up allowing the other foot to 'land' and secure your position.

If Dante is talking about a stronger (firmer) foot and (presumably then) a weaker foot and talks about the one being lower than the other, there is probably a deeper meaning behind it. In Dante's thought world it was sometimes said that in the 'pilgrimage' towards heaven, we walk on two 'feet' (or legs); the Will and the Intellect. Because the Will, the stronger of the two, is always desiring what it shouldn't, our journey forward towards God is therefore hampered. We limp our way to heaven! So Dante could be saying that his Will lags behind his Intellect as he strives to find the light of God, making his journey up those slopes that much harder. The (weaker) Intellect is having to drag the (stronger) Will upwards towards the divine light.

An alternative explanation is inspired by a comment from St Augustine to the effect that 'love is the foot of the soul', in other words the driving force of the soul's  quest for God. So, Dante could be suggesting that his stronger foot (love) pushes his body up the hill towards God. Personally I prefer this more optimistic image of his ascent; after all, he begins his climb in hope and anticipation.

And so we have to ask ourselves as we come to the three beasts, is there a deeper meaning to these animals beyond their physical power and scariness. Yes, there is.

When Dante engages with myths throughout his Inferno, he’s also leaning into this tradition of animals as allegories. He’s striving to teach a lesson, as mythical creatures punish sinful souls for eternity. Invoking creatures from antiquity, Dante’s Inferno moulds pagan hell into a Christian design. These mythical creatures are behemoth reminders for potential sinners about the consequences of their actions.

Even from the opening canto of Dante’s Inferno, we find our titular character lost in a dark and winding wood. As the woods darken, he feels his consciousness enter a strange state - a feeling that he likens to death (Inferno 1.7). As this shroud covers him, Dante encounters the first mythical creatures in the Divine Comedy. Leopards and lions were not native to Italy. Travellers relayed tales of these beasts to illuminators and scribes, and information about them would be published in bestiaries. Leopards were often incorporated into coats of arms when there were descendants of adultery in a lineage. The leopard Dante encounters is “very quick and lithe” (Inferno, 1.32). Perhaps the leopard is meant to symbolise a sin associated with impatience or hubris. Lions were often symbols of Christ, akin to Aslan in the Chronicles of Narnia but in this case the lion was “ravenous with hunger” (Inferno 1.46), which may have been a reminder to the reader about the dangers of gluttony.

The importance of animals goes beyond face value. Animals appearing in stories always contain allegories. The beasts symbolised the major categories of sin: incontinence, violence and fraud. Or as they are more commonly called - lust, pride and avarice. In her commentary, Dorothy L. Sayers explains that these categories of sin were associated with the three stages of life - lust with youth, pride (self-conceit) with the middle years and avarice with old age. Of course, they can attack a person at any time of his life.

Symbolism can help us enormously when reading Dante but it is also important I think to try to read the text itself and take clues from the way Dante uses the symbols. The Leopard is mesmerising, clever, quick and very pleased with itself, displaying its gaudy spots for all the world to see. The Lion terrifies even the air around it with its appearance (and presumably its roar) but the most noticeable thing about it from Dante the pilgrim's point of view is how proud it is as it hold its head up high. The third beast, the she-wolf, is one that has brought grief to many people. Her leanness speaks of an insatiable appetite; no matter how much (or how many people!) she eats she never thrives, never grows fat, she is never satisfied.

If Dante's world each of the beasts represented different vices or sins - the leopard as a symbol of lust, the lion a symbol of violent pride and the she-wolf as a symbol of avarice and fraud - then these  could also either represent Dante's own besetting sins which prevent him from reaching heaven, or perhaps the three levels of hell which are divided according to the kind of sin committed. In the first circle Dante the pilgrim will find those guilty of avarice and incontinence (not the bowel kind), in the second circle sinners guilty of violence and in the third, those responsible for crimes of treachery and fraud.

It’s easy to see then these animals as symbols of divine judgement on Dante. Dante is not ready to find the divine light. He is still under judgement. His sins have not been dealt with and as we shall learn, only by descending to hell and rising through the mountain of purgatory will he be able to find that light as a 'saved' soul.

All three wild beasts are mentioned in the bible and used as symbols of the kind of fate that will befall the people of God as divine judgment.

In Hosea 13:4-8 God says that he will be like a lion and a leopard (and an angry mother bear!) towards his ungrateful, apostate people.

In Jeremiah 5.1-6, Jeremiah fails to find one godly (just) person in the city of Jerusalem. Failing to do so God promises that judgement will come like this:

Therefore a lion from the forest will attack them,     a wolf from the desert will ravage them, a leopard will lie in wait near their towns     to tear to pieces any who venture out, for their rebellion is great    and their backslidings many. (NIV)

If indeed the wild beasts represent the judgement of God in the Old Testament through Hosea and Jeremiah, in the New Testament they take another form entirely. And this may well have played a part in Dante’s thought. It is entirely possible that Dante is thinking of the Apostle Paul's reference to 'fighting wild beasts in Ephesus' (1 Corinthians 15.32).  Of course Paul didn't mean he actually wrestled lions and wild beasts. He meant that dealing with those who opposed him there was just like being a gladiator in the arena fighting lions and bears. And the people who opposed him were the institutions of Ephesus, the city authorities, the trade guilds, the business leaders.

Dante the pilgrim, following in the footsteps of the Apostle struggles with his own 'wild beasts'. the wild beasts who had plotted against him, and exiled him from his native city in 1302. Dante the pilgrim walks in the footsteps of Paul. He also walks in the footsteps of Christ who was alone in the wilderness with the wild beasts for 40 days and 40 nights. Although the the original intention of the gospel writers may have been to conjure up the impression of a restored Eden, for Dante those accounts would have conjured up the idea of conflict and danger.

Like Paul and like Christ, Dante the pilgrim has to struggle with ferocious animals in his journey towards God, just as Dante the writer has had to in his journey.

Who or what then are these forces, these wild animals who prevented Dante from finding the true path? Interestingly these animals were all prized in one way or another in Dante's native Florence.

There is evidence that a leopard and a number of lions were kept and publicly displayed in cages in Florence in Dante's day near what is today the Loggia del Bigallo, as a sign of Florence's power and prestige.

The lion was also part of Florence's coat of arms. Scholars have noted that Dante was familiar with the writings of Richard of St Victor who had associated the leopard with the sins of deceit and fraud. The lion was associated in medieval bestiaries with the sin of avarice (because of its apparently insatiable hunger) as well as with pride. These are 'civic sins' as much as personal vices.

Was it Florence's avarice and pride that was in the front of Dante the writer's mind when he described the leopard's gaudy spots and the lion with its head held high? Is it perhaps the city that had turned against Dante and thrown him out to live a life of exile that prevents the progress of the pilgrim towards paradise?

The she-wolf is the most daunting beast of all. She proceeds terrifyingly, step by step stalking forward, threatening and relentless. Dante comments:

The very sight of her so weighted me with fearfulness that I abandoned hope of ever climbing up that mountain slope. . . . I retreated down to lower ground.

Surprisingly perhaps it is the she-wolf, not the leopard or the lion that finally causes the pilgrim to despair. Wolves were considered to be symbols of fraud and deceit as well as sexual immorality and prostitution.

In his hugely influential work The City of God, St Augustine had commented that in his time prostitutes were known as she-wolves and a brothel was known as a 'wolf den'. He suggested that this verbal link gave rise to the famous origin myth of Rome, according to which the two twins Romulus and Remus, the offspring of the god Mars and the their mother (whom he had raped) Rhea, were abandoned to die but were saved and suckled by a she-wolf. Augustine suggests that instead, they were found and fed by an unknown prostitute i.e. by a 'she-wolf'. From this play on words came the legend that it was a literal she wold who found and fed them.  In the City of God (Book 18 chapter 21) Augustine writes as follows:

“Procas ruled before Aemulius. Now Aemulius had made his brother Numitor's  daughter, named Rhea, a Vestal Virgin; she was also called Ilia, and was the mother of Romulus. The Romans wish to say that she conceived twins by Mars; for, in this way, they honoured, or excused, her unchastity. They offer as proof of this the legend that, after their exposure, the infants were suckled by a she-wolf. For they hold that this species of animal belongs to Mars; and so, therefore, the she-wolf is believed to have offered her teats to the little children because she recognised in them the sons of Mars, her master.

There is, however, no lack of people who say that, when the exposed infants lay wailing, they were first taken in by some unknown whore, and that hers were the first breasts they sucked - for ‘she wolves’ (lupae) was the name given to whores, which is why houses of ill repute are even now called ‘wolfouses’ (ilupanaria). Afterwards, it is said, they came into the care of a shepherd called Faustulus, and were nurtured by his wife Acca. And yet if, in order to convict the man who was king, and who had cruelly commanded that these infants be cast into the water, God willed to help the children through whom such a great city was to be founded, and to have them rescued from the water by His divine intervention and suckled by a wild animal: is there anything very wonderful in this? “

- Translated by W. Dyson (Cambridge Texts in the History of Political Thought)

So, according to Augustine, it wouldn't be surprising if God had supplied a real she-wolf to find and feed the abandoned babies, because God is merciful and just, but in fact the stories he has heard suggest a different explanation. Namely that it was a human 'she-wolf', a whore, who had found them.  

It is also interesting that Augustine links the god Mars with the story. The wolf, he says, is one of Mars' own creatures' i.e. a beast with a special affinity to Mars. Is it relevant that the city of Florence had adopted Mars as its own patron 'star'? It may also be relevant that the name of the Guelf faction, some of whom had ordered Dante's expulsion from Florence, was linked to the German word for wolf (Welf).  Dante's enemies in Florence were 'wolves'. It seems the clue lay in the name.

But it may not have been only Florence Dante wanted to suggest to readers' minds. In addition it seems that by the time Dante wrote the Divine Comedy the Papal Curia had adopted as its own symbol the famous statue of Romulus and Remus suckling from the mother she-wolf on the Capitoline Hill. The she-wolf was of course the defining myth of Rome’s founding. Several ancient sources refer to statues depicting the wolf suckling the twins. Livy reports in his Roman history that a statue was erected at the foot of the Palatine Hill in 295 BC. Pliny the Elder mentions the presence in the Roman Forum of a statue of a she-wolf that was "a miracle proclaimed in bronze nearby, as though she had crossed the Comitium while Attus Navius was taking the omens". Cicero also mentions a statue of the she-wolf as one of a number of sacred objects on the Capitoline that had been inauspiciously struck by lightning in 65 BC: "it was a gilt statue on the Capitol of baby being given suck from the udders of a wolf." Cicero also mentions the wolf in De Divinatione 1.20 and 2.47.

The Capitoline Wolf was widely assumed to be the very sculpture described by Cicero, due to the presence of damage to the sculpture's paw, which was believed to correspond to the lightning strike of 65 BC. The 18th-century German art historian Johann Joachim Winckelmann attributed the statue to an Etruscan maker in the fifth century BC, based on how the wolf's fur was depicted. It was first attributed to the Veiian artist Vulca, who decorated the Temple of Jupiter Capitolinus, and then reattributed to an unknown Etruscan artist of around 480 - 470 BC.

So for centuries The Capitoline Wolf was almost universally recognised as an Etruscan statue from the early part of the 5th century BC. It was only in 2006 that an Italian art historian and restorer, Anna Maria Carruba, published a detailed critique against the accepted view. She argued that the bronze had been cast with a method unknown in classical times, and that marks left by the artist on its surface were more typical of the Middle Ages. Barely a year later in 2007, Rome’s top archaeologist and heritage advisor,  Prof. Adriano La Regina, reported that over 20 tests using radiocarbon and thermoluminescence dating don at the University of Salerno suggested that the wolf portion of the statue may have been cast between 1021 and 1153. Overnight one ancient Rome’s oldest artefacts became one of city’s youngest.

Given the pride and place of this famous statue, The Capitoline Wolf, given by the Church of Dante’s time, it adds an extra dimension to any reading Dante’s words about the she-wolf. For the wolf, the creature of Mars, the symbol of Rome and now of the church was a big thing in 13th century Italy. It is this beast that scares Dante the most, that strips away his hope and forces him to turn around.  It is this beast he says which has been ‘the despair of many’. It is not a surprise then to find that throughout the Inferno he likens various damned souls to wolves.

Again the bible may have played a part in his thinking Jesus warned his disciples to watch out for the false prophets, the wolves who come dressed in sheep's clothing. Ithink it’s too much of a stretch to say it was a direct attack on the church or the papacy of Boniface VIII but it does lend credence to the possibilities of personal corruption for those in the church who flirted with earthly temptations and sins - the very sins that destroyed souls and blocked humanity’s upward path to heavenly salvation.

For Dante there was no distinction between the inner and the outer person or between the individual and social.  The individual did not live a life apart from his or her wider life in the state and in the church. Sin was something that affected everything and everyone. These beasts may well represent sin or vices with which Dante the writer was only too familiar in his own experience but to me it seems highly likely that they represent above all the forces he saw around him which, in his mínd, prevented people finding the beauty and love of God. The Apostle fought his wild beasts in Ephesus. Dante fought his in Florence.

The mythical figures featured in Dante’s Inferno lean on a long tradition of animals as allegory. As Dante journeys through the realms of the afterlife, these beings can lend a helping hand on the long and winding road through hell, purgatory, and heaven.  While the creatures of the Inferno intend to scare sinners straight, they themselves also suffer as the embodiment of their respective sins.

While hell is where sinners languish, it remains a complex and captivating place. Dante filled his entire Divine Comedy with bizarre creatures from across literature, and they serve a similar purpose to any beast in a story: to distill morals or a lesson. Their presence makes the story memorable, even for modern readers like us today.

Dante’s Inferno brings readers on a journey through hell, replete with allegories from across time like sitting through a hellscape of a Schiaparelli haute couture fashion show during Paris Fashion Week. As time wears on, Inferno’s wild beasts offer captivating perspectives on our very modern sins of lust for affirmation, pride in our self-centredness, and an avarice for material comfort.

But I don’t wish to end on a downer because Dante is not a pessimistic poet. Most readers never proceed beyond the macabre thrills of Dante’s ‘Inferno’, with its grotesquely inventive torments. Those who do ascend from the “Inferno” find some of Dante’s most lyrical verse in his ‘Purgatorio’. But it is the least-read of the three books, ‘Paradiso’, that makes sense of the other two. It shows, Dante was not just a poet of crisis, but also a poet of hope:

The ‘Divine Comedy’ is that rarest thing, an epic poem with a hopeful ending. It is about getting a second chance - and ultimately finding joy, a Christian understanding of joy in the light of God’s saving grace.