#Endre and Henry are completely different in the way they were raised the circumstances they faced and the way their personalities are

[writerfae]

I am very talkative today, it seems! I hope you don't mind!

I have an interesting question, because though I don't know the answer, I have a good guess!

But Endre would want to know this way more than me.

To Endre Henry would seem like the ideal big brother (cause he is). Even knowing that he left Aiden, he'd still seem perfect to Endre because he sees how they act around echother. He sees how Henry still looks out for Aiden, and he hears about how they were as kids.

And Endre, who's trying to be a better big brother, who regrets the way he treated his siblings in the past would really admire him.

But in one of his guilt fuled, self-deprecating moments, he would surely ask something like this, and I want to hear what Henry would answer:

Endre: H... how did you do it? You were carrying so much pain. You were out of place. Your mom died. You bacame a vessel for your father's grief, just because you looked like her. You had to care for both him and your brother and Aiden... he didn't have to carry as much. You had to make sure he didn't. You did make sure he didn't, so how did you never get jealous? How come you never wanted to switch places? How did you never take it out on him? How come... how come I wasn't more like you?

Please answer as Henry if you can!

I don’t mind at all! In fact I’m happy for every ask I get from you ^^

I feel really sorry for Endre. I think Henry would too. He’d probably tell him something like this:

I am not an heir like you. I didn’t have a whole kingdom to worry about. All I have is my family and they are everything to me. I was taught from my mother from a very young age on to do what is best for my family and that stuck with me. Especially after losing my mom. I had to keep looking after them, like I promised her.

It was really hard, yes, and often I hated it. But for me, it was something I had to do. Someone had to keep this family from falling apart and I did it. Because I’m the eldest child. Because I love my family. And no matter how hard it can be, love is not a burden. I had to take responsibility. My father couldn’t and my mother was gone and Aiden was just a child.

And I wanted him to be a child. See, the thing is that unlike you (I assume), who had to prepare for a reign all your youth, I had a pretty carefree childhood. Sure, there was this secret I carried, but still, I was happy. When I was eight, I got to learn and play and joke around. It wouldn’t have been fair if I didn’t let Aiden have the same experience. I’ve never been jealous of Aiden for getting to be a child, cause I got to do it as well when I was his age.

And that makes the difference, I think. You never were allowed to experience being a child in the way your siblings did. I get why that would make you jealous. You know, I never told anyone but Callan before, but when I was younger, I sometimes found myself envying Aiden for being our father’s biological son. It’s not like Milan loved Aiden more, he’s always treated me the same gentle way, yet the two had a sort of connection that him and I didn’t have and it was obvious to me. So it is not like I never got jealous, but jealousy is an ugly feeling. And like all negative emotions, it needs an outlet, so it won’t eat us alive. Again, that’s something my mother taught me. (What we learn from our mothers really shape us as a person, I think.) For me, that outlet was going to the woods. It cleared my head, sorted my thoughts and made me calm down.

I don’t know how you were raised and I can only guess from what I know from Callan how much pressure there was on you ever since you were a child. But if I had to assume, I think you lacked such an outlet and to protect yourself, you started letting your negative emotions out on your siblings. You know as well as me that that’s not the right way, but you didn’t know any better. Growing up takes time for a reason. If you have to grow up too fast, like you and me, you can act mature all you want, but certain things, certain emotions and processes simply aren’t fully developed yet. Deep down you’re still not an adult, you are just a child keeping up an act all the time. Not just in front of others, but also in front of yourself. And that can lead to miscalculations and wrong decisions.

Like you mistreating your siblings. Like me leaving behind my brother. Because that’s the thing. I am by far not perfect, I haven’t always been the best brother in the past. But Aiden has forgiven me for that, just like your siblings forgave you, so all that is left is to do better in the future. Give yourself time to grow. You have acknowledged your mistakes and your mistakes have been forgiven, so now it is time to forgive yourself. There is no need to look back, look ahead instead. Look at your siblings, meet them eye to eye.