#Endless space 2 tips

[mattsnight]

Car rides - Matt Sturniolo

Summary: in which y/n and Matt have sex in a car

Warnings: sex, oral (male!receiving), fingering, touching, cursing.. all that.

A/N: this is my second kinktober fanfic. Make sure to check out my first !!

You were craving chocolate, so thats why your boyfriend and you are now in his car. At first he didn’t want to go, but then you said something which caught his attention.

“Matt, can we please get chocolate?” You ask him, whining. He looks up at you, rolling his eyes.

“It’s getting too late, Doll.” He says, rejecting you.

“Baby please, I’ll give you head after..”

Thats where you went wrong. Because now, you’re in the backseat of his car, in between his legs as loud moans escape his lips. You’re giving him head, the best head he will ever experience. His hand is moving through your hair as his other hand is covering his eyes. You can feel him getting closer to the edge, so you decide to edge him a bit by pulling back. A whine escapes his lips at the loss of contact.

“Fuck- don’t stop.. y/n?” He says opening his eyes just to find you smirking up at him. You take off your shirt and shorts, leaving you in your red lace set, which Matt absolutely adores. Matt’s breath gets caught in his throat as he sees a faint outline of your tits through your bra, needing to touch you badly. His hand moves down to touch you, but you move away just in time.

“Not yet,” you start. “I need you to hold on f’me, can you do that?” You ask before hearing a desperate whimper leave his mouth as he nods.

You swirl your tongue around the tip of his extremely hard cock, hands on his thighs. “Fuck, just like that, good fuuuucking girl.” He moans out, grip on your hair tightening. You keep teasing him until both of you get enough, movements speeding up.

He won’t hang on for long. Everything is starting to get so much, the endless teasing, you in that specific outfit.. that all is enough to get him crazy.“Im gonna cum, im gonna cu-“ he repeats before shooting his cum down your throat. You swallow it all, extremely proud of your work.

Then with a sudden movement Matt pulls you into his lap, fingers trailing around on your ass. You don’t get the chance to even know what he’s doing or his fingers are already sliding through your wet folds. Your mouth falls open as you grip onto his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. This doesn’t make him stop. 2 fingers enter you, deep and hard. You try to control yourself, but that hope disappears when he uses his thumb to rub your clit.

“Jesus Christ— matt!” You moan out as you bounce on his fingers. The pleasure is too good to be true, it’s almost too much.

Matt goes on for that a while, making you finish around 4 times before pulling you onto his, now hard, dick. It only takes him a second before he’s deep inside of you.

As he lets you adjust to him his hands are all over you, touching your tits, ass and of course your thighs.

He’s always been gentle with you during sex, even at the beginning of your relationship. He’s never been the type to just run off after the sex, unlike the last boyfriends you’ve had. All of them had their ways, but all those ways were not how you wanted to end up, but matt, matt was different. He was caring.

You get closer to your release within seconds and so does he. Both of you are lost in the pleasure to realize its almost 5 am, but are you supposed to care? Matt finishes first, not even a second after that you do too.

“Fu-uck.. matt!” You cry out as your orgasm hits you. You fall into his arms as the pleasure fades, only leaving you breathless. Matt’s hands trace slow circles on your lower back.

“Calm down.. deep breaths, Doll. That was fucking amazing.” He says, cupping your face with his hands before kissing you deeply. You melt into him before plopping back in the passenger seat, giving him space to drive back home.

/////

KINKTOBER FANFIC 2!

Hope yall loved this one, lmk!!🫶🏻

[reddesires]

Is It Casual?

Logan Howlett x Mutant Reader

Warnings: Angst, Implication Of Sex

18+ MDNI!!

Fandom: Wolverine, X-Men

A/N: Omg this was actually so hard to write because I had the idea in my head, but writing it was such a struggle and I honestly feel it felt so much more impactful in my head but I do have a part 2 in mind if this does good soo yeah! Enjoy!

Reader's hero name is Anamnesis, and her powers are Paramnesia/Telekinesis.

 Your eyes wandered over the rays of light beaming through the shades, your chest feeling particularly hollow this morning.

Your fingers absentmindedly caress the empty space next to you, it’s long since lost the warmth of logan’s body and your almost tempted to curl up in the spot and not move for the rest of time knowing that his absence is only the result of your loveless affair, a truce of using each other’s bodies with no feelings getting in the way of that.

Sitting up is a struggle as your body and mind fight you on wanting nothing more than to never leave this bed. You sigh tiredly as you exasperatedly rub your eyes.

You know that you’ll have to pretend that everything is fine, that you’re not drowning in an endless water whirl of being dragged into the same situationship with Logan, that he doesn’t catch your eye with one look and you’ll smile and nod as you try your hardest to block out those feelings, you’ll swallow it all in attempt to save yourself from utter and total damnation.

But you’ll slip, you’ll get too close to him and your resolve will falter and you know that he’ll give you that look and he’ll end up in your bed at the end of the night, you’ll let him and i love you will sit on the tip of your tongue and dissipate only when he slips out from underneath your sheets.

Logan holds you with a warmth that is unlike any other that has done the same, a protectiveness that causes a knot to grow in your throat, his eyes glinting under the moonlight that streams in through your windows and you’ll brush your fingers down his jaw tenderly as you try to refrain from telling him how pretty he looks from between your thighs.

You’ll just have to settle with the bite marks and bruises that bloom on your skin after, and you’ll try not to curl in on yourself as you hear your bedroom door close behind him.

You feign a smile as you step into the Professor’s office, the others greeting you warmly as you stride past Logan and your fingers will tingle as he brushes his hand against yours, you’ll avoid eye contact but you can feel his eyes following after you, it’s tempting but shoving it down and ignoring it helps ease the reality that lays before you, he isn’t interested in having you be his in the long run.

Storm turns to you with a bright smile hugging you into her, and you sigh with relief nuzzling the side of your head into hers more than happy to receive a small form of comfort, she has become a beacon in your life and though she is the storm goddess herself, she’s been the main reason you ever found reason to look through it in the first place and even though she has no idea of the casual fling you have going on with Logan she's been more than willing to be your shoulder to cry on, no words needed.

“Good morning, Anamnesis.” Professor X nods before proceeding with the details of the upcoming mission, you can’t help but let your mind wander onto the total enigma of a man that’s eclipsed on every aspect of your daily life, his presence enough to choke out every thought you should be focused on and you nod and smile as you pretend you are immersed in the discussion when really your mind is on loop of nights spent in the arms of the man who stands only a foot away from you, his gaze burning into you as you pretend that you don’t notice.

Storm pulls you by the arm out of the office when the Professor dismisses you all, her hand squeezing yours in hidden concern to your reserved behavior.

“You know I can tell when something is bothering you.” When she looks back at you, you can see the brimming suspicion in her eyes and you feel your throat dry at the very idea of admitting of the casual thing you have going on with Logan, the thought of saying out loud that the man that you have only admitted to yourself that you loved was only reserving you as a fling was too painful, it was too real and too much for you to truly comprehend, saying out loud made it real.

Just pretend, it’s what you do best, you tell yourself.. “It’s just stress, not sleeping the best..” You sigh while running a nervous hand through your hair and you hope that was enough to throw her off your trail, Storm only looks at you for a beat before she lays her hand on your shoulder, her grip supportive and gentle.

“Okay..You should go rest then, I’ll see you later.” You smile weakly squeezing her hand back before you slowing walk towards the staircase with all intentions of barricading yourself in your room to reevaluate all your life decisions, as you look back you notice that storm has already left the hallway more than likely handle her tasks for the day, you hope that she won’t be adamant on figuring out what’s going on with you, the last thing you wanted was to worry her with your lack of good decisions and your very prominent friends with benefits deal.

You hear the deep baritone of Logan’s voice in the library study just as your passing, the door only slightly cracked open as you peek into the room, and you can see Logan’s back to you and standing next to him is Jean as she looks sternly at him, your unsure of what the beginning of their conversation entailed but you can see the tension in his shoulders as he looked forward at the wall in front of him.

“You’ve been staring at her. Is there something going on between you two?” Her voice is far from indifferent, and it makes your breath hitch as you await his answer. This wasn’t an encounter you ever expected to ever stumble upon. You know that Logan had feelings for Jean in the past and your not sure if he still does but as you watch him get closer to her, him towering over her, his face too close to hers for your liking, you know his response will only tighten the vices of you pain riddled heart once again.

“There's nothing going on.” His answer was short and clear, cutting through you like broken glass.

Nothing, nothing.. Nothing.

It was always meant to be that way, right? You can feel the hollowness in your chest from that morning settling deeper, its claws gripping into your skin and you can feel it so vividly that your hand immediately clutches your chest in an attempt of nursing the sting.

Of course it’s nothing. There were no feelings involved. It was all casual.. Was it all casual?

As you walk to your bedroom in a daze all you can think about is those moments when he would gently grab your cheeks as he pulled you into a kiss, when he hugs you from behind as you get ready for the day in the mirror after spending the night together, or spending half the night pillow talking in intimate hushed whispers.. It was casual.. It’s nothing..

You stare back into the mirror, your eyes devoid of emotion, you can feel the impending doom of your next decisions, you can feel the guilt rushing over you as you decide that it’ll be better if there truly was nothing, nothing at all. There’ll be nothing at all to remember.

You’ll both go on with your life with no strings attached. The tears steadily stream from your eyes and you watch as they land on your vanity, puddling miserably and as you wipe them from your face, you feign a smile, you’ll just have to pretend until you don’t have to.

You sit with your decision in the communal living room, the mansion silent as the both the students and teachers have the day off spending it out, you chose to stay behind with the intent of trying not to ruin what little bit of self restraint you have left but you know you're fucked when you feel his hand on your head as he rounds the couch your sitting on, you look up at Logan, and your emotions become a whirlwind as he gazes back at you.

“Hey princess.” His voice is rough with what seemed like exhaustion, you can only assume he didn’t sleep well last night, you have been brushing off your nightly meetups with excuses of not feeling well so you're sure he’s been up fighting his sleep. “Hey Lo..” You utter scooching into the arm of the couch watching as he settles next to you and you can feel the impending doom rush over you again, you try to shake it but it's hanging on, it's insistent, demanding.

“You don't look so good, not sleeping again, Wolvie?” The words are smooth as you say it but you can feel your fingers trembling and he’s none the wiser to it as leans over to you placing his head on your lap, you instinctively run your fingers through his hair and he hums in response.

“Been hard, no easier without you.” His voice has a vulnerable edge to it and you can feel the tremble of your fingers tremble again, there it is, the words that cause hope to pop its head from beneath those turbulent waves but you push it down, you’ll drown that hope because it’s just casual, it’s nothing.               

“Rest Logan, I'll be here.” Those words feel sickly sweet in your mouth, but you still smile despite that, and the light smile that pulls on his lips as he closes his eyes makes you falter.. Remember it’s casual..

He’s so relaxed and trusting while he lies on your lap, the way the sun's rays reflects off his brown hair honeying it in warmth and the serene bubble around him makes your resolve falter and the knot in your throat all the more painful, you love him more than words could possibly convey and you want nothing more than to reach for a reality that you two have something more than this casual fling.. casual.. it leaves a bitter taste on your tongue.

As you lay your palm over his closed eyes, the glow of your mutation springing up upon contact, your lip trembles as a tear stubbornly falls as you warp and remove memories of the two of you.

Memories of nights filled with comforting him as he struggles with his relentless nightmares and tender whispers of reassurance of the others' self worth replaced with images of a friendship that never strayed off course, a close friendship that was never tainted with passionate carnal touch.

There wasn't a struggle on his end, the lightness of his breathing and the tilt of his head indicating his defenses were nowhere to be seen and you swallow down the sob that painfully travels up from your chest, you broke your promise for the sake of both you. No attachment.

There was nowhere you loved more than being Logan's bed as he pulled you into his naked chest, his beard brushing against the sensitive skin of your neck and the soft giggles that escape you as you bask in the glow of another long night of being with Logan.

“Where'd you go, sweet girl?” Logan's gruff voice pulls you from the tsunami of thoughts filling your head, and you can't help but ease yourself more into his arms. He tightens his hold under your naked breasts.

“Mm, I'm here. I'm just thinking about training..” You mutter as you softly graze your hand over the skin of his arm, slowly trailing down to his hand and massaging the skin of his knuckles. “Memory manipulation.. Quite a power.” You can't help but notice an undercurrent of unease in his voice, and you slightly turn your head to look back at him catching his gaze, your hand caressing the side of his jaw.

“I know, you don't have to worry. You're scotch free of my abilities.” He chuckles as he shakes his head, tilting his head into your hand, kissing the tender skin of your wrist. “promise?”

There's a beat of silence. “Promise.”

Looking at your reflection now is almost unbearable as the weight your decision comes crashing over you, determined to drag your under those unforgiving waves, your guilt grabbing at you from all angles and wrapping its talons into your throat as a sob emits loudly from you, the tears bubbling over as you lean over the sink, your body losing the strength to hold you up.

The frustration and anger come creeping in within the cracks of your destroyed morality and resolve. This is the consequence of making those stupid decisions. All this pain and refusal to admit the reality to yourself caused this. It was never casual, there was attachment.

why did you let it drag on for so long? It was always there on the tip of your tongue. You could've said it. It's too late now. This was the consequence.

You look up at your reflection, placing your finger on your temple, the swirl of your power revving up as you blocked out your own memories warping your reality of him, your eyes glazing over in a white sheen as you grunted out exasperatedly, determined to forget it all.

Forget his touch, his scent, and the way his lips felt on yours. You can see the memories disappear right before your eyes, the blood dripping out of your nose doing little to snap you out of your self-inflicted memory wipe.

Soon enough, it'll be nothing at all.

Next Part: It Wasn't Nothing.

[drabbles-mc]

We Were Just Leaving

Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+, smut (protected p in v), language, alcohol, strangers to lovers

For Week 2 of Hot Bucky Summer: "What should I call you?"

Word Count: 6.3k

A/N: my first time ever writing smut for bucky. it truly is a Hot Bucky Summer! 😂 biggest thanks to @buckybarnesevents for putting on this event! endless appreciation for all of your hard work 💞 maybe i'll write more for these two in this event if another prompt strikes inspo for them 👀

Going out on your own to get a drink and decompress after a long week had sounded like a great idea until about three minutes ago. Ever since then you’d been silently kicking and cursing yourself for not taking up your coworkers on their Happy Hour offer. The last thing you’d wanted to do after the way your week had gone was socialize, even with coworkers that you generally liked and got along with.

But now that seemed like the greatest thing in the world compared to the situation you were about to find yourself in. Theo from the finance department and his same half a dozen jokes seemed like a dream to be across a table from compared to your ex who had just walked through the door of the bar you were at.

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath.

You had less than a couple minutes to try and scamper out before he saw you. And the only reason you had that kind of time at all was because the bar was busy and it would take longer to spot you in the midst of everyone. But the second that your ex got up to the bar with his buddies to order drinks, your cover would be blown.

You dug some cash out of your purse, tossing enough onto the top of the bar to cover the one drink you’d ordered so far and the tip for the bartender. You were zipping your bag back up as you were hopping off the stool that you’d been sitting on. Your eyes were fixed on your purse, frustrated that this was the one time that the zipper decided to jam. The whole time you were straining your ear to make sure that you could hear how close your ex was, trying to hear his voice or his laughter.

“Fuck,” you were trying to weave your way through the crowd but the clusters and groups of friends all lingering and waiting for their chance to slink up to the bar and order were all packed tightly. You didn’t remember when this spot became a popular place to be. You huffed, trying to say, “Excuse me,” loud enough for people to hear you but not so loud that it came across as rude or drew any real attention to you.

A pocket of space opened up and you were more relieved than you should’ve been. Clutching your bag tight to you, you took long, measured strides to try and slip through the small groups of people that had parted ways just enough for you to sneak through. You were almost to the other side of them, almost out of what would be an easy range for your ex to see you, when someone took a step backwards as they laughed and inadvertently bumped right into you.

The fact that it was an accident did nothing to soothe your nerves. Them stepping back sent you stumbling mid-stride and bumping right into someone sitting at one of the few small high-top tables that the bar had scattered around. You felt a hand on your back and the heat flaring up in your face and you were already sputtering out five different apologies at once before you’d even fully turned around to face the person you’d bumped into.

When you looked at his face, all the words stopped cascading past your lips. Still white-knuckling your purse, still feeling like your face and throat were on fire from embarrassment, you found yourself incapable of looking anywhere but at the icy blue eyes staring back at you.

He didn’t look happy about you bumping into him, per se, but he didn’t look as angry or annoyed as other people in the bar might’ve been. No drinks were spilled in the process, which was a bonus. He raised his eyebrows slightly as he looked at you, but his expression was otherwise neutral.

“S-sorry,” you finally forced out, clear but still uncertain.

He shook his head. “It’s fine.”

“Okay.” You nodded, knowing that you should be forcing your feet to carry you away, but you were locked in place.

His eyebrows went from raised to pinched together. Apparently, he took your hesitancy to leave as you not believing his simple reassurance. “Really,” he emphasized with a small nod, “it’s fine. You can go—seemed like you were in a rush anyway.”

Your eyes widened slightly at that, the full scope of the situation coming back to you. You cleared your throat. “Right. Thanks. Thank you. Sorry. I’m just gonna—” you were halfway to motioning over your shoulder when a vaguely familiar voice blared like an airhorn in your ear.

“Well look who it is!”

Turning to look over your shoulder, your stomach dropped. It wasn’t your ex, but you knew that he was going to run right back to your ex and tell him that you were here. Even if you tried to bolt it wasn’t going to do you any good. You were in it now.

“Hey,” you said, keeping it short, trying to make your tone as unenthusiastic as possible.

“Oh, Ricky’s gonna be stoked that you’re—”

“I was just—”

He waved you off. “Wait right here—I’ll go grab him.”

“Don’t—” It didn’t matter what you were going to say next because he was already taking back off towards the bar. You let out a deep sigh. “Fuck.”

You’d nearly forgotten the man stuck in the middle of all this until he spoke up again. “So, who’s Ricky?” There was a hint of amusement to his voice despite the fact that his expression hadn’t changed much at all.

You shook your head. “Whatever you’re already thinking, just go with that,” you said with a shake of your head.

“Rough.”

You had to laugh at the simple response. “Yeah. That’s why I was, you know,” you gestured vaguely towards the door that you had previously been trying to get to as quickly as possible.

You shook your head again, unable to do anything else. Each second that passed you could feel the anxious jitters building. You had no interest in talking to him ever again, and you knew that if he started talking to you, it was going to be nearly impossible to get out of it. That’s just how he was. You were so deep in thought and oncoming panic that you hadn’t noticed the way you were gnawing the inside of your lip until you felt a slight sting from it.

Turning to look at the man who hadn’t asked for any of this, you said, “You don’t owe me a favor, but do you think you could still do one for me?”

He shook his head, “I’m not gonna beat up—”

That got a genuine laugh out of you. “No, no. I mean, I bet you could. But just, can you pretend that we were here together and that we were leaving? I just, I need an exit strategy.”

“What, you want me to pretend to be your new boyfriend so your old one will leave you alone?”

“You don’t have to be my boyfriend. Just, be some friend that wanted to grab a drink with me. And get me the fuck out of here. Please.”

The pause that ensued didn’t give you anything resembling hope. But he must’ve taken just enough pity on you because his shoulders dropped as he sighed. “Alright, fine.”

Relief coursed through you even though you were nowhere near through this exchange yet. “Thank you.”

“What should I call you?” he asked.

You gave him a confused look. “My…my name, I guess?”

Your face and the tone of your response had him feeling whatever embarrassment you’d been battling with earlier when you bumped into him. He saw it all over your face then, and he was certain that you could see it all over his face now. The whole situation was much simpler about sixty seconds ago when you were the more flustered one in the scenario. Now he was the one in uncertain territory. He didn’t know why he asked it like that, but it was what had come out of his mouth when he tried to ask you for your name. It crossed his mind for a moment that maybe you’d bumped into the wrong person to get you out of this mess but it was too late now.

“Yeah. Um, enlighten me?” The laugh that you let out at that wasn’t a cruel one, which was the only reason he didn’t double-down on his embarrassment. You were amused, perhaps even a little relieved. After all, you could’ve just told him your name in response to his first question. As it stood, you told him now and he nodded. “Right.”

You figured you should know his too. “What’s—”

You didn’t get to finish the question let alone get the answer before your ex and his friend reappeared in front of you. They each had a drink in their hand and smug smiles on their faces. The reality of what had you asking ridiculous favors of a stranger you’d only known for about five minutes suddenly crashed down over you again. The knot in your stomach was back with a vengeance as you looked at the man in front of you, knowing that he was feeling none of the dread that you currently were.

“I didn’t believe it when he told me,” Ricky spoke up, nodding in the direction of his friend. “Thought you were still avoiding me.”

You forced yourself to swallow past the lump in your throat. “I tried to tell him that we were just taking off,” you replied, hating how defeated you sounded.

The smug look on your ex’s face disappeared instantly when he heard the word we. It was only then that he realized you were standing right next to a man. A man whose name you still didn’t know but he didn’t know that part.

“We?” Ricky repeated. “Well, care to introduce us?”

You tried not to let your panic show on your face. At this point you were ready to just give this random stranger you’d met in a bar an equally random name and apologize for it later. You barely registered the sound of his chair scraping against the floor as he pushed it away from the table and stood himself up from it.

Fighting the uncertainty out of your voice, you said, “This is—”

He cut you off by putting himself between you and Ricky, holding his hand out for the man to shake in the process. “James,” he said as he nonchalantly slipped his free hand into yours. It wasn’t a gesture you’d been expecting, but you weren’t going to go against it either. There was something reassuring about the callouses of his palm against your skin as he threaded your fingers together. When he broke off the handshake with your ex, he gave a small tilt of his head and said, “Ricky, right?”

You knew that you weren’t doing a good job at all at hiding the pleased and surprised look on your face. The feeling only intensified when you saw the way it through Ricky completely off-kilter, whatever hand he had been planning on playing now no longer available to him.

He cleared his throat, and you noticed the way he adjusted, tightened his grip on the glass he was holding. He tried to recover from the temporary upset. “So, you’ve heard about me, then?” he asked, the look on his face letting you know that he considered it to be a good thing.

You were rolling your eyes and about to come back with something when James beat you to the punch. “Unfortunately, yeah.”

You tried to suppress the smile that wanted to take over your face but you weren’t sure if you did. You found yourself giving James’s hand a light squeeze, instinctively placing your other hand in the center of his back.

Ricky was trying to sputter out a response and James didn’t let him get a single coherent word out. “Like she said,” he gave you a small, gentle nudge towards the door, “we were just leaving.”

“I—”

James was already turning around and taking off towards the door. He called back over his shoulder, more nonchalant than your ex could ever hope to be, “Nice meeting you, Ricky.”

You were glad that the music and general chatter of the bar was hiding the sound of your laughter as the two of you made your way towards the door. Navigating the crowds was so much easier when you were attached to a man built the way that he was—funny how that seemed to work. The two of you were able to quickly maneuver your way to and out the door.

There was no better sound in the world to you than your boots hitting the concrete sidewalk outside the bar. The relief of being out of there was more than you were able to say in the moment, so instead you just kept laughing as you instinctively headed in the direction on the sidewalk that would eventually lead back to your apartment.

In that moment, there was no better sound in the world to James than the sound of you laughing. You were thanking him as the two of you walked away, and he was content to follow you under the guise of being committed to the little ruse you’d put together, to getting you far enough away from the bar to be considered out of the danger zone. He wondered if you, in the midst of your relief, even noticed that you were still holding onto his hand. He certainly still noticed.

You stopped suddenly and turned to look at him, eyes wide. “Oh, shit,” you gasped.

He looked over his shoulder, expecting your reaction to be because your ex had followed the two of you, or something similar. “What?”

You gestured back towards the bar. “Your drink! We didn’t pay—”

His laughter stopped you short. Shaking his head he said, “I was paid up.”

Your shock and tension both disappeared. “Oh. Okay.” It was then that you realized you were still holding his hand. You let go immediately, face warm as you let out a nervous laugh. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

The two of you stood on the sidewalk, a few inches separating you as you faced each other. “So,” you started, the awkwardness that had previously disappeared rearing its head again, “James your real name or just something you made up so my ex can’t stalk you on Facebook or something?”

He laughed and shook his head. “I don’t have Facebook. But yeah, it’s my real name. You,” he cracked a tiny grin, “you can call me Bucky, though.”

You smiled. “Bucky? That, you know, that what I should call you?” you joked.

He laughed, head tilting back slightly as did. He felt the way his face heated up at that and he just hoped that it was dark enough outside to hide the fact that he was probably blushing. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Reaching out, you gently placed your hand on the outside of his bicep for all of a moment, not that it stopped him from being able to feel the warmth of your palm through the blue fabric of his henley. “Well, thank you, Bucky. I appreciate it. Sorry if I totally ruined your night.”

“You didn’t,” he said with no hesitation. “Sorry that your ex ruined yours.”

You shrugged, feeling the way that your lips were slowly tugging up into a smile. “Could’ve been worse.”

“Do you have plans right now?” Bucky asked, unsure of where the question came from or how it got out past his lips.

You chuckled, shaking your head. “I was just planning on going home. Why? Have better plans in mind?”

It took him no time at all to realize that he’d walked himself into this with no idea where he was going with it. He knew that he had a decent poker face but even so he had a feeling you could read him like a book in that moment. And he definitely wasn’t reading like a mystery novel.

“I didn’t know if…you know…” he trailed off for a moment, “Wanna get…coffee? Or something?”

You chuckled and gave a small shrug. “Sure. Coffee sounds good.” You started to walk. “Or something.”

He quickly strode to catch up with you. “Got a place in mind?”

You laughed as you looked over at him. “Well, it didn’t seem like you did.”

It could’ve been a much more embarrassing call out if there hadn’t been such a warm look in your eyes. The only thing that he could think to do in the moment was follow you, so that was exactly what he did.

You couldn’t remember the last time that an invitation for a simple cup of coffee had suddenly caused an entire night to slip by. You didn’t even end up drinking all your coffee, too wrapped up in the conversation that you were having with Bucky. Funny that at the start of your evening you’d figured that a night alone was what you’d been needing, and yet sitting across from Bucky at a little café table, going wherever the conversation strayed to, left you feeling better than any number of nights by yourself at a bar or at home.

Bucky was fairly certain that he could talk to you all the way until the sun came back up again. He was also fairly certain that that fact had nothing to do with the caffeine from the coffee he’d had. His cup was empty, but he still found himself toying with it in his hands as the two of you talked. He didn’t know when the last time he got coffee with someone was. At least, someone who wasn’t Steve or Sam or Nat. This felt so foreign and new, yet there was something so familiar about you.

The pair of young twenty-somethings who were working at the coffee shop didn’t exactly tell you both to leave, didn’t exactly kick you out. But you both noticed the way that they were starting to wipe down the counter and tables and you knew better than to be the people who stayed right up until the last minute. Even though this time, you really wanted to. Getting a few more minutes with Bucky almost seemed worth it.

When the two of you were back out on the sidewalk once more, you turned to face him. The jitters you’d had when you left the bar hours before were gone, but there was a new feeling in its place. Similar but different. More excitement, more curiosity, more hope. You didn’t know what to do about it, though, didn’t know what to say to articulate those feelings.

“Well,” you finally said with a soft laugh, “now I really took up your whole night.”

The smile that Bucky gave you was charming enough to nearly have your knees knocking together. “Not the whole night.”

You hummed in amusement. “Then I’ll let you go before it turns into that.”

He tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “You’re alright getting home?”

You smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I’m only a couple blocks away.”

“I can walk you,” he offered.

You should’ve hesitated at least a little bit, but you didn’t. “That’d be nice.”

The two of you fell into stride beside each other. The first little stint was silent, but not uncomfortably so. You couldn’t speak for Bucky, but you knew that you were trying to figure out what was going to happen when you made it to the main door of your apartment building. You also knew, though, that no amount of overthinking it now was going to make it any easier to navigate then. So, you did what the two of you had been doing successfully for the last few hours, and picked a new topic out of thin air to talk about.

By the time you reached your building, you were walking so close to Bucky that your arm was practically pressed against his. He didn’t seem to mind—it wasn’t as though he was trying to pull away. Every now and then when you laughed, you’d give him a playful little bump, shoulder to shoulder, and Bucky had to fight the urge to drape his arm around you and pull you closer.

Stopping in front of one of the many tall brick buildings on the block, you nodded towards the door before opening your purse to find your keys. “This is me.”

Even though you’d hold him that you were only a couple of blocks away from the café, he still found himself surprised at how quickly you’d arrived. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed that the evening was over so soon. Never mind the fact that the evening had started hours ago, and completely on accident.

It took him a couple seconds longer than it should’ve to realize he was supposed to be saying something to you. “Oh,” he said, trying not to let his disappointment show, “okay.”

You were smiling as your eyes stayed trained on your purse, still fishing around for your keys. “Thank you for, well, all of it I guess,” you punctuated your sentence with a laugh.

He smiled warmly at you even though you weren’t looking at him yet. “No problem.”

“Ah,” you said as you finally found your keyring. You never thought your purse was all that large and yet you never seemed to find what you needed when you needed it. “Right. Well, I’d, um,” you stammered, wanting to ask and say about twenty different things and unable to decide on a single one of them. Taking a breath to get yourself together, you said, “I had a really good time, despite how all of this started,” you laughed for a moment and so did he, “and it’d be, I don’t know, I’d like to see you again…” you trailed off even though you didn’t mean to.

He smiled, relief and excitement battling it out in his chest. “I’d like that.”

Without giving it a second thought, he pulled out his phone and gave it to you, fumbling his way through asking you for your number. He would’ve been more self-conscious about his lack of grace with it if you hadn’t seemed so eager to type in your name and number.

You held his phone back out to him. “So, yeah, let me know when you’re free.”

He reached to take it back from you. There was the briefest moment of hesitation before you let his phone go, one that got him to look up from where your hands were nearly touching and into your eyes. You let go of his phone, and he slipped it back into the pocket of his jeans, but neither of you took your eyes off the other. Bucky couldn’t help but to notice the way that your teeth pulled just slightly at your bottom lip. He found himself opening his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He could’ve let it all die out there, or he could’ve let himself succumb to the nerves of not being able to conjure up something to say, but instead he found himself choosing a third option that he hadn’t even thought was available to him.

Stepping in and closing the tiny strip of space left between you, Bucky pressed his lips to yours. It was gentle, and brief. He pulled away when you’d barely gotten past the shock of him kissing you at all. You saw the way his eyes were searching yours, looking for the cue to either get lost or come back for more. The moment of silence terrified him, almost had him sputtering out an apology.

Then you closed the gap and kissed him again. A little more conviction, a palm resting against his chest. It was a minor miracle that you hadn’t dropped your keys to the ground as he kissed you back. His hand came up and cupped your cheek, palm warm against you despite the chilly night air.

When you pulled away, you couldn’t hide that it’d left you a little breathless. His hand was still cupping your face and it had you smiling wide enough to make your cheeks ache. Fidgeting with the keys in your hand, you forced yourself to speak. You purposely ignored how soft and breathy your voice was.

“You can come up if you want,” you offered.

You were just far enough away from him to see the surprise that crossed his features. “Yeah?”

You nodded, keenly aware of the way his hand felt on your face as you did. “Yeah.”

The slowness of the elevator in your apartment building was usually something that served to be a mild annoyance for you. However, this time, you wished that it would’ve taken longer to climb up to the fifth floor where your apartment was. Hell, you would’ve been fine if it had gotten stuck if it meant you had a few more moments with Bucky keeping you pressed against the wall, his lips capturing yours over and over again.

It was the singular chime that broke the two of you apart, the alert that you’d arrived at your floor. The walk from the elevator door to your apartment door was a short one but it felt tragically long when you had Bucky behind you with his hands on your hips and his lips on your neck. You had no idea how you managed to get your key into the lock so that the two of you could get inside, but you did it.

You closed and locked the door behind you once you were inside. Out of habit you reached and flicked the lights on. Bucky still had one hand on the small of your back, using the other to deftly undo the laces on his boots so he could toe them off beside your door where the rest of your shoes had been tossed haphazardly as the weeks had passed by.

You’d hardly dropped your purse and keys off when he was pressed up against you again, his chest flush against your back. You sucked in a tiny gasp as your body melted back into him. You wanted to say something but the second he was pulling the collar of your shirt to the side and pressing his lips to your shoulders, whatever pleasantries you’d been thinking of went completely out the window.

 Even though you knew your apartment like the back of your hand, had navigated through it in the dark and after nights out when you had more than a few drinks, you nearly found yourself stumbling as you walked through the lit-up room with Bucky attached to you.

Once the two of you were in your bedroom, Bucky put his hands on your hips and spun you around so that you were facing him. He wasted no time as he leaned in and kissed your lips, like the few minutes of being unable to had been hours instead. His hands trailed their way up to your face, palms warm and rough to the touch all at once. Keeping his lips on yours, he walked you back towards your bed. You were reaching for the bottom hem of his shirt just as the backs of your legs pressed against the side of your mattress.

Bucky indulged you, assisting you in peeling his shirt off over his head and tossing it aside. Any time that you would’ve spent standing there gawking at him was quickly stolen away as he pressed himself close to you again, firmly but gently getting you back onto the bed.

Every movement felt like it fed so easily into the next. The pair of you were nothing but wandering hands and ragged breaths as you stripped the clothes off each other. The floor was littered with them but neither of you cared. Bucky was down to his boxers, you your bra and panties. He had you pinned underneath him but it didn’t stop his hands from roaming everywhere they could. They wandered across your stomach, up and down your thighs, grazing over your chest. Every touch and graze had you pressing yourself into him more and more, teeth pulling at his bottom lip as you let out little whines and whimpers of encouragement.

You could feel the effect that it had on him. No amount of wanting to feel every inch of you underneath his fingertips could stop him from grinding his hips against yours. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had him feeling so desperate so quickly—he didn’t know if there ever had been a last time.

Like you could hear his thoughts, Bucky felt your fingers curling over the edge of the waistband of his boxers. You started pushing them down his hips and Bucky had no intention of stopping you. He quickly kicked them off the rest of the way before his fingertips dragged down your stomach until they slipped underneath the waistband of your panties. The lightest brush of his fingers had you bucking into his hand and whatever plans he’d had to drag this out no longer mattered. He easily pulled the flimsy fabric down your legs, making quick work of it as you lifted your legs to help.

It took every last shred of Bucky’s self-control to not just slip right into you. The way you had your legs wrapped around his waist would’ve made it so easy to do. He kissed you, neediness bleeding from his lips to yours as his hands continued to trace lines up and down your thighs.

 “Do you have—” Pulling away just enough so that your lips weren’t touching anymore, but not so much that you couldn’t feel his breath on your skin as he spoke. He managed to get out half the question he had before you cut him off.

“Top drawer,” you answered, already knowing where it was going.

The chuckle he let out got a smile out of you. The awkwardness and discomfort that occasionally accompanied first-time hookups was nowhere to be found. He pressed a brisk kiss to your lips before leaning and reaching over for the handle of the top drawer of your nightstand. You took advantage of the momentary position of vulnerability that he was in, lifting your head to kiss and then suck a mark where his neck met his shoulder. You heard the groan he let out, but more than that you could feel it as you kept your lips pressed there.

Him quickly tearing the foil of the condom with his teeth shouldn’t have been as hot as it was, and yet you found yourself staring. He caught it, too, and the smirk on his face would’ve made your knees week if you’d been standing rather than on your back beneath him.

You watched him roll the condom on, biting down so hard on your lip you were surprised that you didn’t draw blood. Your eyes slowly traveled their way back up his torso until you were looking into his. The eagerness, the tension in his body could be felt in all the places the two of you were connected. Even so, he still waited for one more yes from you.

The yes he was waiting for came in the form of you putting your hand on the back of his neck and pulling him down into a kiss, in the way you wrapped your legs a little tighter around him and pulled him in closer to you. You felt the way that he instantly gave in, slowly pushing into you as you moaned into his mouth at the sensation. You felt the way that he smiled into your kiss as your nails bit down into the flesh of his neck and shoulder.

“Fuck,” he rasped out, lips brushing against yours as he spoke. He took a moment to revel in it, the feeling of being buried into you so that his hips were flush against yours.

Moving your hand from the back of his neck so that it was cupping his chin, you pulled him back into another kiss. You felt each little hum and moan that he let out as he started to thrust into you, his arms on either side of your head caging you in. He kept himself pressed tightly to you, leaving your hands to wander the broad, muscular expanse of his back. The way you moaned his name, the moments when you’d rake your nails down his back, let him know that he was pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

He peeled himself off you, separating his chest from yours. You longed for the contact as soon as it was gone, but before you could think too much on it, he moved one of your legs so that it was draped over his shoulder. When he picked up his rhythm once more, you were grabbing onto his hips before you even knew what you were doing, begging him not to stop like he’d ever even dream of that in the first place.

Your leg was starting to tremble against his shoulder. Instinctively he turned and pressed a kiss to the side of your calf as he continued to thrust into you. Your grip on him tightened as you breathlessly moaned, “Just like that.”

A few more thrusts just like that and you were coming undone around him. He soaked in every moment of it, the feeling of you, the way you cried out his name, the way your body arched and tensed before going pliant.

He was chasing right after you, after that same high. He was nearly there and the soft, needy way you whined out, “Bucky,” in the waves of aftershock sent him clean over the edge. His hips stuttered as he came, your name tumbling from his lips. He collapsed against you, face buried in the crook of your neck as your legs went back to looping around his waist, keeping him pulled tight and still inside you.

You weren’t sure if it was your own heartbeat that you were feeling thudding in your chest or his, but you supposed it didn’t matter. Both of you were fighting to catch your breath, bodies practically melting into each other’s. You wrapped your arms around him, hands gentle on his back where just minutes before you’d been digging your nails into the cords of muscle there. He kissed the column of your throat, the little bit of stubble that was growing in feeling extra ticklish in your sensitive state, enough to get you to giggle and twitch at the sensation.

Once he’d gotten a little bit of his breath back, he propped himself up enough to look at you properly. “You okay?”

You laughed, unable to do anything else but that and nod for a moment. Finally, you said, “I’m great, yeah.” It got a chuckle out of him as you reached and trailed your fingertips down his cheek. “You okay?”

He nodded before leaning in and kissing you. “I’m great.” A few more moments passed in comfortable silence, the two of you just taking in the sight and state of each other. You noticed the small shifts in his expression, and you waited for whatever was coming next. “Um,” he looked over towards the door of your bedroom, “where’s your…so I can…”

You laughed, head dropping back against your pillow. “Out the door and to the left.”

He chuckled, a blush creeping over his cheeks. “Thanks. I’ll be, you know, right back.”

You afforded him the illusion of privacy as he searched and grabbed his boxers off the floor and scampered off to your bathroom. You chuckled as you managed to get yourself out of bed, making your way over to your dresser on wobbly legs to you could grab your own shirt to sleep in. You were back in bed and under the covers by the time Bucky came back.

When he got back to your bedside, he reached down and grabbed his shirt off the floor. He didn’t make an immediate move to put it on, instead just holding it loosely in his hand. “I can—”

“Stay,” you didn’t even want him to put the idea of leaving out into the universe. Not after the night the two of you had just had. “I mean,” you laughed softly, “if you want. I’d like that.”

There was no hesitation as he dropped his shirt to the ground. “Okay.”

He easily shimmied down underneath the covers beside you. You curled into him, allowing his arm to slip beneath you and pull you tighter so that your head was resting on his chest. You could feel the warmth of his skin, the thrumming of his heartbeat. You also started to feel not just the tiredness in your muscles from everything that had just happened, but also the exhaustion of how late it was now.

The same tiredness was present in Bucky’s voice as he spoke, words partially mumbled as he spoke them into your hair. “Light’s still on out there.”

“Leave it,” you replied words equally mumbled as you said them with your lips partially pressed against his chest. “I’ll worry about it tomorrow.”

The hum of amusement that he made let you know that he wasn’t going to worry about it now either. Draping his other arm around you, he slipped his hand underneath your shirt so that his hand was splayed across the center of your back and keeping you tight to him. Nestling farther into him, you rested your palm on his chest as you finally let yourself start drifting off to sleep.

(divider by @saradika-graphics 💞)

MCU Taglist: @garbinge @beardburnsupersoldiers @artemiseamoon @late-to-the-party-81 (If you want to be added to any of my taglists please let me know! xo)

[w1w2]

Bored

Part 1 | Part 2 - But I'm Not the One To Keep | Part 3

Ningning x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ca. 9,5k

Synopsis: Ningning, a charismatic heartbreaker known for her fleeting romances, finds herself unprepared for the depth of her feelings when she meets Y/N.

English isn’t my first language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.

♡ Enjoy! ♡

Ningning dorm room was dim, illuminated only by the faint, cold glow of laptop screen. The cursor blinked on a blank document like a silent taunt, its rhythmic flicker the only movement in the otherwise still room. Papers and notebooks were strewn across her desk in disarray, remnants of unfinished assignments she couldn’t muster the energy to complete. The guitar she usually turned to for solace leaned against the desk, its polished surface catching the faint light, but tonight, even it felt like a stranger to her.

The vibrant personality of her space, walls adorned with colorful posters of her favorite artists and shelves crammed with knick-knacks collected over the years seemed muted, almost mocking in its cheerfulness. The once comforting clutter felt stifling, closing in on her like a weight she couldn’t shake.

Ningning sat cross legged on her bed, her comforter twisted into a heap beside her. She leaned back against the headboard, her head tipped slightly upward as if searching for answers in the shadowed ceiling. Her hands dragged through her hair, fingers catching on tangles she hadn’t bothered to comb out, before falling limply to her lap.

The room was silent except for the occasional hum of a passing car outside her window, but inside her mind, it was deafening. The echo of her own voice reverberated with cruel clarity

"You knew what this was, Y/N. Don’t act like I promised you forever."

Her words played on an endless loop, hollow and sharp, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. She could still see the exact moment they landed, as if watching a replay in slow motion. The way Y/N’s expression had faltered, those warm, expressive eyes dimming with hurt, the way her shoulders had dropped, as if burdened by a weight too heavy to carry.

Ningning groaned, the sound raw and broken as it slipped from her lips. She squeezed her eyes shut, as though she could will the memory away, but it only grew sharper in the darkness. The image of Y/N lingered, unrelenting.

She saw her on the rooftop again, bathed in starlight, the words spilling out of her with hesitant courage

"I think... I’m starting to fall for you."

The vulnerability in Y/N’s voice had terrified Ningning. It had been too much, too real, too honest. Her instinct had been to retreat, to guard herself against the kind of raw emotion that threatened to unravel her carefully constructed facade. Vulnerability was dangerous. It asked too much and gave too little in return.

But Ningning couldn’t stop seeing Y/N’s face, that fragile hope that had been shattered. She let out a shaky breath, her chest tightening as if caught in a vice. Why had she said those things? Why had she hurt the one person who made her feel like she was worth more than the labels she carried?

Her gaze darted to her phone, lying face down on the nightstand. The urge to pick it up, to type out an apology, burned in her chest, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Her fingers twitched, as if sensing the weight of the words she could never take back.

Instead, she reached for her guitar, but her hand faltered halfway. What good would it do? She already knew the melodies wouldn’t soothe her tonight. She felt hollow, as if every note she played would ring false.

She slumped forward, her elbows resting on her knees, her head cradled in her hands. The stillness of the room seemed to press against her, amplifying the ache in her chest. Her own thoughts suffocated her, circling back to Y/N over and over again. Her laughter, her steady presence, her way of making Ningning feel seen without asking for anything in return.

She had let that go.

Now, left alone in the quiet of her room, Ningning couldn’t outrun the truth. The silence amplified the very feelings she was trying to suppress, and the walls of her sanctuary felt less like a haven and more like a prison.

She whispered into the stillness, her voice trembling with the weight of her regret “What the hell have I done?”

Her mind betrayed her, pulling her back to that first, vivid memory of Y/N. It had been an ordinary afternoon, the kind Ningning had spent a hundred times before flitting through the campus café between classes, basking in the attention of passing smiles and casual greetings. But this time had been different.

Ningning had stopped short as her gaze landed on the girl sitting by the window, her head bowed over a notebook. The late afternoon sunlight streamed through the glass, wrapping around her like a halo. Strands of her hair, slightly tousled, caught the golden light, and her brow furrowed in concentration gave her an air of quiet determination that Ningning found unexpectedly captivating.

Her breath hitched, her casual confidence faltering for the first time in years. There was a magnetism about Y/N, an unspoken aura that drew Ningning closer without effort. She found herself staring, caught between curiosity and an unfamiliar sense of longing. It wasn’t just Y/N’s appearance, though Ningning would later recall with a smile how beautiful she’d looked in that moment, but the way she seemed completely at ease, oblivious to the bustling café around her.

Ningning had hesitated for a fleeting second, something she never did, before making her way over and sliding into the seat across from Y/N. She flashed her most confident smile, the one that usually won over even the most reserved of hearts. “Mind if I join you?” she had asked, her voice light and playful.

Y/N had blinked up at her, startled, her pen pausing mid stroke. There was no wide-eyed awe, no immediate disarming smile in response. Instead, Y/N’s gaze was polite but wary, a quiet guardedness that intrigued Ningning. It was a challenge, one she couldn’t resist.

In the weeks that followed, Ningning had sought out opportunities to be near her. She told herself it was casual curiosity at first, something about Y/N’s calm demeanor and dry wit made her stand out. But the truth was something far more consuming. Ningning found herself watching for Y/N in the library, lingering outside engineering labs with excuses that felt increasingly flimsy.

The little things.

That’s what had undone her.

It was the way Y/N’s laugh bubbled up, completely unrestrained, when Ningning teased her about her “intimidating” thermos of coffee. It wasn’t a soft chuckle or a polite giggle, it was full-bodied, genuine, and infectious, the kind of laugh that made Ningning feel like she’d accomplished something extraordinary just by being the cause of it.

It was the way Y/N scrunched her nose when concentrating on her engineering projects, her lips pursing in a way that Ningning found inexplicably endearing. It made her want to sit closer, to nudge Y/N’s elbow and ask about whatever brilliant thing she was working on, just to see that focus shift to her for a moment.

And it was the way Y/N always seemed to have an extra cup of coffee ready when Ningning showed up unannounced, a playful smirk tugging at her lips as she handed it over. “Figured you’d need this,” she’d say, and Ningning’s heart would stutter at the casual care in her voice.

Ningning had never felt seen like that before, not in a way that mattered.

The rooftop.

Her heart clenched as she thought of that night, the memory vivid and bittersweet. The stars had been scattered across the sky like glittering promises, but all Ningning had been able to focus on was Y/N. She had looked radiant, her eyes reflecting the faint glow of the city lights below.

Ningning had joked about constellations, trying to lighten the moment, but the air between them had grown heavy with something unspoken. And then Y/N had turned to her, her voice trembling as she said, “I think... I’m starting to fall for you.”

The words had struck Ningning like a lightning bolt, leaving her breathless. For a moment, she had been frozen, caught between the overwhelming rush of emotions surging through her and the fear she could never quite outrun.

When she had leaned in to kiss Y/N, it hadn’t been an impulsive act, it had been deliberate, tender, and charged with all the feelings Ningning didn’t know how to put into words. The softness of Y/N’s lips, the warmth of her touch, the way she had leaned into Ningning like she belonged there, it was perfect in a way that made Ningning’s chest ache.

But perfection had its price, and Ningning knew all too well what it felt like to fall short. She had seen it in the faces of her past relationships, the disappointment that flickered in their eyes when they realized she couldn’t give them the love they wanted, the hurt when her walls refused to come down, the longing in their voices as they asked her why she couldn’t just stay.

She had tried, once or twice, to explain it, but the words always failed her. How could she describe the way love seemed to suffocate her the moment it became too real? How the very idea of being someone’s everything made her chest tighten and her instincts scream to run?

The cycle had become predictable. She would charm her way into someone’s life, bask in the glow of their affection, and then pull away the moment things grew serious. She had convinced herself it was better this way, better to leave before she could cause too much damage, better to slip away before they saw the cracks in her.

So when Y/N had opened her heart, when she had stood under the stars and said those words with such trembling honesty, Ningning had panicked. The vulnerability in Y/N’s voice had terrified her, made her feel exposed in a way she hadn’t thought possible.

Her instinct had taken over. She had pushed Y/N away, her words sharp and cutting, designed to hurt. To end things before they could begin. “You knew what this was, Y/N. Don’t act like I promised you forever.”

Now, in the stillness of her dorm room, those words echoed like a curse, each syllable clawing at her chest.

“Better to hurt her now,” she muttered bitterly, her voice cracking as she spoke the lie aloud, “than later.”

The words felt like ash on her tongue, bitter and hollow. No matter how many times she repeated them, they failed to convince her. She knew she had done it to protect herself, to shield her heart from the inevitability of failure. But instead of finding relief, she had only magnified the ache in her chest.

The memory of Y/N’s face as she walked away haunted her. That mix of hurt and disbelief, the way her voice had faltered as she tried to ask Ningning why. Y/N had deserved an explanation, deserved more than Ningning’s cowardice, but Ningning hadn’t known how to give it.

And now it was too late.

Ningning’s whispered question What the hell have I done? hung in the suffocating stillness of her dorm room, unanswered. She sat there for what felt like hours, her mind replaying the same memories, the same regrets, until her phone buzzed again.

Her gaze flickered to the screen, where Aeri’s name lit up with a simple message “Studio. Now. You can’t avoid this forever.”

Ningning sighed, dragging herself off the bed. Her limbs felt heavy, her chest tighter with every step she took to gather her things. Avoidance wasn’t an option tonight, and deep down, she knew she couldn’t keep running from her feelings. If she couldn’t face Y/N, maybe she could at least pour everything into a song.

Grabbing her guitar, she left the room, her mind clouded with doubts and melodies that refused to settle.

The studio was bathed in the soft, artificial glow of overhead lights, casting long shadows across the soundproofed walls. The padded panels seemed to absorb every sound, muting the outside world and leaving only the faint hum of equipment and the low crackle of static from the speakers. It was a space Ningning usually loved, a sanctuary where she could lose herself in the rhythm of creation.

But tonight, the familiar comfort was absent, replaced by a weight she couldn’t shake.

She sat hunched over her guitar, her posture unusually tense, her fingers idly plucking a melody that had been haunting her for days. The notes were soft, tentative, like they were afraid to fully form. The polished wood of the guitar felt smooth under her fingertips, but instead of grounding her, it only made her feel more adrift.

Aeri was at the control panel, her sharp focus cutting through the room’s lethargy. She twisted a knob with practiced ease, muttering to herself about reverb and equalization. The glow of the monitor reflected off her glasses, and every so often, she glanced at Ningning, her brow furrowing with quiet concern.

Jimin was sprawled on the couch in the corner, her phone screen illuminating her face as she scrolled lazily. Every few minutes, she would let out a soft snort or chuckle, likely at some meme or post that caught her attention. The casual ease with which she lounged felt at odds with the tension radiating from Ningning.

The room buzzed with life, yet Ningning felt miles away. The low hum of the equipment, the faint static breaking through the speakers, even the comforting presence of her friends none of it could drown out the storm in her head.

“Earth to Ning,” Aeri’s voice cut through the haze, jolting her out of her thoughts. Aeri swiveled her chair around to face her, arms crossed. “You gonna sing, or are we just gonna stare at each other all night?”

Ningning blinked, her fingers faltering over the strings. She forced a smile, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Just... give me a minute.”

Her voice sounded distant even to her, like it belonged to someone else. She gripped the neck of her guitar a little tighter, as if the familiar weight might anchor her in the present.

Aeri exchanged a glance with Jimin, who set her phone down with a small sigh. “You’ve been like this for days,” Jimin said, her tone casual but her gaze sharp. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Ningning replied too quickly, the word slipping out like a reflex. She cleared her throat and tried to soften her tone. “I’m just tired. Long week, you know?”

Jimin raised an eyebrow but didn’t press further. Instead, she leaned back, kicking her feet up on the arm of the couch. “Well, whatever it is, you’d better get it out before we start recording. No half-assed vocals, okay?”

Aeri nodded, her expression softening. “Yeah. We’re not rushing this, Ning. If you need more time—”

“No,” Ningning interrupted, her voice firm but strained. “I’m fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

Aeri hesitated for a moment before turning back to the control panel. Jimin gave a small shrug, picking up her phone again, but Ningning could feel their concern lingering in the air like an unspoken question.

She closed her eyes, gripping her guitar tighter as the melody echoed in her head. It was the only thing keeping her tethered, the one piece of her chaos that made any sense. But even as she prepared to sing, a part of her wondered if she was ready to face the emotions waiting on the other side of the music.

Her heart wasn’t in it, and they all knew it.

When she finally stepped into the recording booth, the familiar weight of the headphones pressed against her ears. The microphone stood before her, stark and unyielding, like a confessional waiting to unearth her deepest truths. She adjusted the mic stand slightly, stalling for time as the first chords of Bored began to play in her headphones.

Her fingers itched with the ghost of her guitar, but it wasn’t the melody she was struggling with, it was the lyrics. Every word felt like an admission, a raw fragment of herself laid bare for the world to see.

She closed her eyes, letting the music wash over her, and the memories followed, relentless and vivid.

It had been a warm afternoon, one of those rare, golden days where everything felt easy. She remembered sitting on the campus lawn with Y/N, the hum of distant conversations mingling with the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze. Y/N had been bent over her notebook, her pen moving in slow, thoughtful strokes.

Ningning had plucked a small flower from the grass, a delicate splash of color against the green, and leaned forward with a grin. “Hold still,” she had said, tucking it carefully behind Y/N’s ear. The sunlight had caught in Y/N’s hair, her startled laugh soft and musical, and for a moment, Ningning had felt something unfamiliar bloom in her chest.

That laugh, that moment, it was still there, woven into the fabric of her song.

Her voice trembled slightly as she sang the opening lines.

“I’m so pretty in your head, boy, yeah Picking flowers, put ’em right behind my ear...”

The lyrics twisted the truth, but that was easier than admitting the vulnerability of the original memory. She poured her longing into each word, shaping them into a melody that felt bittersweet, like a smile hiding an ache.

Her voice grew stronger as she reached the chorus.

“Takin’ up a good rush, don’t try to fight it Paradise on Venus in your eyes...”

Y/N’s eyes flashed in her mind, bright and filled with something Ningning had never let herself name. The rooftop kiss followed, as it always did. She could still feel the warmth of Y/N’s hand resting lightly on hers, the weight of her gaze as she had said, “I think... I’m starting to fall for you.”

The words had sent a jolt through Ningning’s heart, a mix of exhilaration and panic that she hadn’t been able to untangle. And then she had ruined it.

Her voice faltered slightly, the weight of her regret pressing down like a physical force.

“Ning,” Aeri’s voice came through the headphones, soft but firm. “You’re doing great. Let’s take it from the top.”

Ningning nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. She started again, pushing through the chorus and into the second verse, her voice carrying all the raw emotion she couldn’t bring herself to say out loud.

“Turning your hellos into goodbyes, I always come in hardcore...”

The words felt like a knife turning in her chest. She had turned Y/N’s soft hellos, her open heart, into something brittle and broken. She had pushed Y/N away, convinced it was for the best, but now all she could do was relive the moments they’d shared, clinging to them like lifelines in the emptiness.

She poured it all into the song, every ounce of guilt, every flicker of longing, every unspoken apology. When the final note faded, the silence that followed was deafening.

Aeri’s voice broke through again, careful and measured. “That was... intense. You okay, Ning?”

Ningning pulled the headphones off and set them down with trembling hands. “Yeah,” she lied, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m fine.”

But as she stepped out of the booth, her chest felt hollow, and the ache that had driven her to create this song remained as sharp as ever.

Hours later, the studio was eerily quiet, save for the faint hum of the equipment and the soft clatter of Aeri’s keyboard. The raw recording of Bored played through the speakers for what felt like the hundredth time, every note polished, every vocal layer perfected.

Ningning sat slumped in a chair, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Her fingers tapped an uneven rhythm against her arm, the only outward sign of the storm brewing inside her. She stared at the monitor as if it held some answer she hadn’t yet found.

“Okay,” Aeri said, leaning back in her chair with a satisfied sigh. “That’s it. It’s done.”

Jimin, who had been dozing on the couch, cracked an eye open and gave a lazy thumbs up. “Sounds killer. People are gonna eat this up.”

Ningning nodded faintly, but the weight in her chest didn’t lift. The song was done, polished to perfection, yet it didn’t feel like a triumph. If anything, it felt like a confession she wasn’t ready for the world to hear.

Aeri turned to her, her voice softer now. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Ningning replied automatically, though her voice wavered. She cleared her throat and forced a weak smile. “Just tired.”

Aeri didn’t press further, but the look she gave Ningning lingered, a mix of concern and something unreadable.

They listened to the track one last time, the haunting melody filling the studio. Ningning felt every word as if she were singing them again, the emotions sharper than before. When the final note faded, she let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding.

“It’s good,” she said quietly, more to herself than anyone else.

“It’s better than good,” Jimin said, sitting up and stretching. “This is the kind of song people are gonna remember.”

But as Ningning packed up her guitar and prepared to leave, all she could think was how much she wished she didn’t have to remember.

The song dropped three days later, and the reaction was immediate.

By the time Ningning woke up that morning, her phone was already buzzing with notifications. Social media was flooded with posts about Bored, clips of the song, glowing reviews, and endless comments tagging her name.

“@_imnotningning just gave us the ultimate heartbreaker anthem.” “Why does Bored sound so good and so savage at the same time?” “This song... wow. Ningning really said, ‘I’ll break your heart and make it a hit.’”

Jimin sent a screenshot of the streaming numbers to their group chat with a series of fire emojis “We’re blowing up. Told you.”

Ningning sat on the edge of her bed, scrolling through the messages and comments, her expression unreadable. Normally, she would have basked in the attention, maybe even posted a playful selfie with a “thank you” caption. But today, the praise felt hollow.

Her classmates were talking about the song too. Everywhere she went, cafés, hallways, even the library, someone was playing it. The haunting melody seemed to follow her, the lyrics spilling from speakers and headphones like they were taunting her.

She walked past a group of students sitting on the quad, their conversation carrying over to her ears.

“Did you hear Bored yet? It’s so good. Ningning really nailed the whole ‘heartbreaker’ vibe.” “Yeah, but like... do you think it’s just a song, or is she actually like that?”

She quickened her pace, her chest tightening.

Later that day, she sat in a corner of the café, her hood pulled low over her face. She watched from the shadows as a group of students queued up at the counter, one of them humming the chorus under their breath.

“Takin’ up a good rush, don’t try to fight it...”

Her stomach churned. They were celebrating the song, turning it into something bigger than it was ever meant to be. They didn’t know it wasn’t just a catchy tune, it was her. Her regret, her longing, her everything, laid bare for the world to dissect.

Jimin sent another text “People are calling this your best work yet. You okay?”

Ningning stared at the message for a long moment before typing a reply “Yeah. Just a lot to process.”

She didn’t hit send. Instead, she set the phone down and stared out the window, watching the world move on without her.

The song was a success. She should have been happy. But all she felt was the hollow ache that had been with her since the night she’d walked away from Y/N.

The praise was loud, but the silence in her heart was louder.

It was late when Ningning found herself wandering the campus, the cool night air brushing against her skin. The paths were quiet, lined with the faint glow of streetlights, their soft hum filling the silence. She had hoped the walk would clear her head, but instead, it only made the ache in her chest sharper.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, a notification about Bored. It was another tag, another comment praising her, another reminder of the song’s success. She didn’t even bother looking at it.

Her steps slowed as she approached the bench near the quad, tucked beneath an old oak tree. The sight of it stopped her cold. She hadn’t intended to come here, but her feet had carried her anyway, as if drawn by memory.

She could still picture Y/N sitting there, her face illuminated by the dappled sunlight filtering through the branches. Ningning had spent countless afternoons on that bench with her, sharing jokes, snacks, and moments of quiet that had felt like their own little world.

But now the bench was empty, and the silence around it felt deafening.

Ningning sank down onto the worn wood, the weight of her regret pressing her shoulders forward. She stared at the ground, her thoughts spinning in endless circles.

This is what you wanted, she told herself. You pushed her away. You said it was better this way.

But the words felt hollow, even in her mind. Every memory of Y/N burned brighter against the darkness of her guilt. She thought of Y/N’s laughter, the way it had filled the spaces between them, making everything seem lighter. She thought of the way Y/N had looked at her, her gaze steady and full of quiet affection.

And she thought of that night on the rooftop, the way Y/N’s voice had trembled as she confessed, “I think... I’m starting to fall for you.”

Ningning’s chest tightened, her hands curling into fists on her lap. She had been terrified in that moment, so scared of falling short that she had lashed out. She had thought she was protecting them both by ending it, but now it felt like she had only destroyed the best thing she’d ever had.

The quad was still, but her mind was anything but. Every line of Bored replayed in her head, the lyrics that had once felt like armor now cutting her like glass.

“Love ’til the end of the road, then I tend to get bored...”

The words had been true when she wrote them. At least, she had believed they were true. But now, sitting here alone, she realized how wrong she’d been. She wasn’t bored. She wasn’t indifferent. She was miserable.

Her hand drifted to her pocket, pulling out her phone. Her thumb hovered over Y/N’s name in her contacts. The urge to call, to apologize, to beg for another chance burned in her chest.

But what could she even say? I’m sorry for being a coward. I’m sorry for not seeing what I had until it was too late.

She opened her messages anyway, scrolling aimlessly through old chats. Y/N’s name sat near the top of her contacts, untouched since the day she had ended things. There was no new message waiting, no unread text to give her a sliver of hope.

She didn’t need to open their conversation to remember how it ended. She had ended it in person, face to face.

She remembered Y/N standing in front of her on the courtyard bench where they’d often met between classes, her arms crossed, her expression guarded yet hopeful. The question had come softly, without accusation:

“Ning, is something wrong? You’ve been... distant.”

Ningning had tried to shrug it off, playing the part of someone too preoccupied to care. “I’ve just been busy,” she’d said, her voice clipped.

But Y/N hadn’t let it go. “You’re canceling plans, avoiding me. Did I do something wrong?”

The crack in Y/N’s voice had nearly undone her, but Ningning had held firm. She had to.

“It’s not about you,” Ningning had replied after a long pause, avoiding Y/N’s gaze. “I just... I don’t think I can give you what you want.”

Y/N’s face had fallen, confusion and hurt flashing across her features. “What does that mean?”

Ningning had stood abruptly, running a hand through her hair as though she could smooth out the knots tightening in her chest. “It means you’re getting too attached,” she’d snapped, her voice rising defensively. “I didn’t sign up for this, Y/N. I’m not looking for something serious.”

Even now, sitting alone in the cold glow of the campus streetlights, she could still see the look on Y/N’s face as her words landed—the shock, the disbelief, and the crushing realization that followed.

Y/N had stood there, her shoulders stiff and her chin trembling, holding back tears. “You could have told me that from the start,” she’d said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Instead of letting me believe this meant something.”

Ningning had meant to respond, maybe even apologize, but the words had refused to come. All she could manage was a hollow echo of the line she had clung to like a shield: “You knew what this was, Y/N. Don’t act like I promised you forever.”

The memory struck Ningning like a blow, and she doubled over on the bench, her head in her hands.

Now, sitting alone on the bench, Ningning could still see the scene as clearly as if it were happening all over again. She could still feel the lump in her throat, the gnawing ache in her chest as she had watched Y/N leave, knowing she had just let go of something irreplaceable.

Her phone slipped from her hands, landing softly on the bench beside her. She pressed her palms to her face, her breathing shaky as tears threatened to spill.

“I miss you,” she whispered, the words breaking like a confession in the quiet night. “God, I miss you so much.”

The silence around her offered no comfort, only amplifying the emptiness she felt. She had tried to move on, tried to channel her feelings into the song, but it hadn’t worked.

The song was everywhere, on playlists, in cafés, on the lips of people she passed, but none of it mattered. Its success felt meaningless without Y/N.

The worst part was knowing she had done this to herself. She had pushed Y/N away, convinced it was the right thing to do, but now she wasn’t sure she even knew how to fix it.

As the first tear slipped down her cheek, Ningning let herself cry. For the first time since their fight, she didn’t try to push the feelings away. She let herself feel the weight of it, the unbearable ache of missing someone who had once felt like home.

The world around her blurred, the quiet hum of the campus fading as her emotions overwhelmed her. She didn’t know how long she sat there, her tears soaking into her sleeves, but for the first time in weeks, she stopped pretending she was okay.

The song hadn’t been meant for the world, it had been meant for herself. She had written it thinking that putting her feelings into words, into melodies, would help her let go of them. She had hoped it would be an exorcism, a way to purge the ache in her chest and move on.

But now, as she sat alone on that bench, she saw how wrong she had been. The song hadn’t taken the feelings away. It had only magnified them. Every lyric, every melody, was her running from the truth.

And she wondered if Y/N, wherever she was, had heard it, and if she’d felt even a fraction of the emotions Ningning had tried to hide.

The song’s lyrics again played in her mind as she rose from the bench, the melody haunting her steps as she made her way back toward the dorms. Her feet felt heavy, each step a reminder of the ache in her chest that refused to fade.

She barely slept that night, her thoughts a relentless spiral of memories and regrets. By the time her alarm blared the next morning, Ningning felt like she’d been awake for hours, her body sluggish as she forced herself to get ready for the day.

Ningning burst through the doors of the lecture hall, her bag half zipped and her papers spilling onto the floor. A few heads turned her way, some with mild annoyance, as she scrambled to gather her belongings.

“Sorry,” she mumbled under her breath, avoiding eye contact as she hurried to an empty seat in the back. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, but her mind was already elsewhere.

She pulled out a notebook and pen, but her hand stilled after the first few lines of the professor’s lecture. The words on the board blurred, her thoughts drifting to Y/N. She imagined the way Y/N used to say her name, soft and teasing, her voice carrying a warmth that Ningning hadn’t appreciated enough at the time.

Her pen began to move across the page, not writing notes but doodling aimless shapes in the margins. Flowers, stars, anything to distract herself. But even then, her mind betrayed her, filling the empty space with memories of Y/N’s smile, the way it lit up her whole face when she laughed.

A sharp cough snapped Ningning back to the present. She glanced up to find the professor’s eyes briefly meeting hers before moving on. Heat flushed her face again, and she quickly closed her notebook, pretending to follow along.

The class ended, and Ningning shoved her things into her bag, barely paying attention as she bumped into a few classmates on her way out. The hallway buzzed with chatter, the usual post-lecture hum of voices, but Ningning moved through it like a ghost, her mind clouded with thoughts she couldn’t shake.

She stepped into the quad, hoping for a moment of calm in the open air. The sun was warm on her skin, and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves of the trees lining the path. For a brief second, she allowed herself to breathe.

And then she saw her.

Y/N sat under the large oak tree near the center of the quad, her back resting against the trunk. Chaewon and Yunjin flanked her, laughing at something Yunjin had just said. Y/N was laughing too, her head tilted back, the sound light and infectious.

Ningning froze mid step, her heart plummeting into her stomach. It felt like the air had been knocked out of her lungs.

She hadn’t seen Y/N in weeks, not up close like this. The sight of her, her radiant smile, the way her hair caught the sunlight, was almost too much to bear. Y/N looked... happy. And it wasn’t Ningning who had put that smile on her face.

Her first instinct was to approach her, to cross the quad and find a way to talk. But before she could take a step, her doubts crept in. What would she even say? I miss you? I’m sorry? I didn’t mean any of it?

She couldn’t do it.

Before Y/N could notice her, Ningning ducked behind the nearest tree, pressing her back against the rough bark. She closed her eyes, willing her racing heart to slow down. The urge to look again was unbearable, but she forced herself to stay hidden.

The sound of Y/N’s laughter drifted to her, faint but unmistakable. Ningning peeked around the tree, just for a moment, and her chest tightened at the sight. Y/N was leaning forward slightly, her hand brushing against Chaewon’s as she spoke, her expression animated.

Jealousy twisted in Ningning’s gut, sharp and unforgiving. She hated herself for feeling it, knowing she had no right. Y/N had every reason to move on, to surround herself with people who wouldn’t push her away.

But the thought of Y/N finding happiness without her was unbearable.

Ningning bit her lip, her hands curling into fists at her sides. She stayed hidden until Y/N and her friends gathered their things and walked away, their laughter fading into the distance. Only then did Ningning step out from behind the tree, her legs trembling as she continued toward her next class.

Later, Ningning sat at a corner table in the café, her tray untouched in front of her. The low hum of conversations filled the air, punctuated by the clinking of mugs and the hiss of the espresso machine. Aeri and Minjeong sat across from her, animatedly discussing their latest group project, but their words barely registered.

Ningning stared down at her plate, her fork idly pushing a piece of lettuce back and forth. Her stomach felt hollow, but the thought of eating made her nauseous.

“Ning,” Minjeong said, her tone tinged with concern. “Are you even listening?”

Ningning blinked, looking up as if startled out of a dream. “What?”

Minjeong exchanged a glance with Aeri before leaning forward. “I asked if you’re okay. You’ve been... off lately.”

“I’m fine,” Ningning said quickly, her voice tight. She picked up her fork and stabbed at her salad, hoping it would make her look convincing. “Just tired, that’s all.”

Minjeong frowned, her skepticism clear. “You’ve been tired for weeks. Is something going on?”

Aeri nudged Minjeong with her elbow, cutting her off. “Let it go. She’ll talk when she’s ready.”

Ningning felt a pang of guilt as Minjeong sat back, muttering under her breath. She knew her friends were trying to help, but the thought of explaining everything, the fight, the regret, the way she couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N, was unbearable.

“I’m sorry,” Ningning mumbled, her eyes fixed on her tray. “I’m just... distracted. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Aeri tilted her head, studying Ningning with a sharpness that made her squirm. “You sure that’s all it is?”

Ningning forced a smile, though it felt like her face might crack under the strain. “Yeah. Promise.”

Aeri didn’t look convinced, but she let it go, turning the conversation back to Minjeong. Ningning nodded along absently as they talked, her gaze drifting to the phone sitting on the edge of the table.

Y/N’s contact sat pinned at the top of her messages now. Ningning’s chest tightened as she stared at it, her fingers itching to pick it up, to type something, anything.

But what could she say that would make a difference?

She pulled her hand back, letting the phone sit untouched. The noise of the café pressed in around her, but Ningning felt utterly alone.

Later Ningning left feeling more exhausted than ever, the weight of her friends’ unspoken concerns lingering in the pit of her stomach. She had promised herself that she’d keep it together, but lately, even the smallest interactions felt like a struggle.

The next few days passed in a haze. Her routines blurred together, classes she barely paid attention to, meals she didn’t taste, music sessions that felt hollow. The song’s success continued to ripple through campus, but Ningning barely acknowledged it. The praise that had once thrilled her now felt meaningless.

Her friends noticed. Of course, they noticed.

So when Aeri texted her to meet up for coffee with Minjeong and Jimin, Ningning felt a flicker of apprehension. She knew they would ask questions. They always did. And she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep dodging them.

By the time she reached the agreed place, she was running late, her mind already spinning excuses.

The café was quiet, the midday rush long gone. The faint hum of soft jazz played over the speakers, mingling with the rhythmic clink of cups and the occasional muted laugh from a nearby table. The warm scent of coffee and pastries filled the air, but for Ningning, the atmosphere felt anything but comforting.

Aeri, Minjeong, and Jimin sat at a corner table by the window, their drinks half-finished, their conversation subdued. They weren’t laughing, weren’t chatting like they usually did. Instead, their focus was fixed on the door, their expressions tight with concern.

When Ningning finally walked in, their gazes snapped toward her in unison. She hesitated in the doorway, her heart sinking as she caught the looks they exchanged. This wasn’t going to be a casual hangout; she could feel it already.

Sliding into the seat across from them, Ningning dropped her bag onto the floor with a heavy thud. “Sorry,” she muttered, keeping her eyes on the table. “Lost track of time.”

Aeri leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she studied Ningning with a raised eyebrow. “You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

Ningning’s hand shot up to her face instinctively, as if she could smooth away the evidence of her exhaustion. “I’m fine,” she said quickly, forcing a weak smile. “Just a lot on my plate right now.”

“Yeah, we can tell,” Jimin said dryly, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table. “Look, we’ve been giving you space because we figured you’d come to us when you were ready, but you’re not getting better. You’re getting worse.”

Minjeong nodded, her voice softer but no less insistent. “We’re worried about you, Ning. You’ve been... off for weeks now.”

Ningning let out a short, strained laugh, her fingers toying with the edge of her sleeve. “What, do I need an intervention now? Relax, I’m fine. Just tired.”

The words felt hollow even as she said them, and judging by the silence that followed, they hadn’t convinced anyone.

Aeri leaned forward, her expression unusually serious. Her voice was quiet, but it cut through the tension like a blade. “You’re not fine, and we’re done pretending you are. Talk to us.”

Ningning shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her hands gripping the edge of the table. She could feel their eyes on her, the weight of their concern pressing down like a lead blanket.

“It’s nothing,” she said weakly, her voice barely above a whisper. “Just... stuff. I’ll figure it out.”

Minjeong frowned, leaning closer. “Does this have anything to do with Y/N?”

The question hit like a lightning strike. Ningning froze, her breath catching in her throat. She didn’t answer right away, but her reaction was enough.

Jimin leaned back in her chair, her arms crossed and her tone pointed. “You haven’t been the same since you broke things off with her. Have you even tried reaching out?”

Ningning’s fingers curled into fists in her lap, her jaw tightening. “It’s better this way,” she muttered, avoiding their gazes.

“Better for who?” Aeri asked, her tone sharp but not unkind.

“For her,” Ningning snapped, her voice cracking slightly. She swallowed hard, lowering her gaze. “I’m doing what’s best for her. She deserves better than me.”

Minjeong’s voice softened, her eyes searching Ningning’s face. “Is that really how you feel? Or is that just what you’re telling yourself?”

The question hung in the air, and Ningning struggled to find a response. She could feel the walls she had built around herself beginning to crumble under the weight of their words.

Jimin’s gaze was steady, her tone matter of fact as she broke the silence. “You’re miserable, Ning. Don’t act like you’re not.”

“I’m fine,” Ningning shot back, her voice rising slightly.

“No, you’re not,” Aeri said firmly, leaning forward. “You’re barely holding it together, and it’s not just affecting you. It’s affecting all of us. We’re worried about you, Ning. Whatever you’re carrying, it’s too much for you to handle alone.”

Ningning’s fingers curled around the edge of the table, her knuckles white. “It’s not your problem,” she muttered, her voice sharp and defensive.

“It is when we care about you,” Minjeong said softly. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

Jimin tilted her head, her voice cutting through Ningning’s resistance. “You think pushing everyone away is helping? You think hiding from how you feel is going to make it go away?”

“It’s not that simple!” Ningning snapped, her voice trembling. “You don’t understand.”

“Then make us understand,” Aeri said, her voice softer now but still resolute. “We’re here, Ning. Stop running and talk to us.”

Ningning’s breath hitched, her chest tightening as the weight of their concern pressed down on her. She looked at each of them in turn, their faces filled with quiet determination, and for the first time, she felt the walls she had built start to give way.

Her hands trembled as she finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “I hurt her.”

The words hung in the air, heavy with regret. Ningning blinked rapidly, her vision blurring as tears welled up in her eyes. “I hurt her, and I can’t take it back. I pushed her away because I thought it was the right thing to do, but... but now, all I can think about is how much I messed up.”

Minjeong reached across the table, her hand brushing lightly against Ningning’s arm. “You made a mistake,” she said gently. “That doesn’t mean it’s the end.”

Ningning shook her head, her voice breaking. “You don’t get it. I’m the one who ruined everything. She trusted me, and I... I threw it all away because I was scared. Scared of screwing it up, scared of letting her get too close.”

Jimin leaned back, her voice softer now but still firm. “So instead of letting her in, you broke it off? That’s not protecting her, Ning. That’s protecting yourself.”

The words cut deep, and Ningning’s defenses crumbled completely. A tear slipped down her cheek, and she quickly swiped it away, but the floodgates had opened.

“She’s better off without me,” Ningning whispered, her voice trembling. “I can’t give her what she needs. I’ll just mess it up again, and I can’t... I can’t put her through that.”

Aeri spoke then, her tone steady but kind. “You’re not giving her a choice, Ning. You decided for her, and now you’re both hurting because of it.”

Ningning’s shoulders shook as she buried her face in her hands, her tears coming freely now. She felt Aeri’s hand on her back, a steady presence that didn’t demand anything from her.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Minjeong said gently. “But it’s not okay to let fear control you. You can’t keep running from this, Ning.”

Jimin nodded, her voice softer than before. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now. But you owe it to yourself, and to her to at least try.”

Ningning sniffled, lifting her head to look at her friends through tear-filled eyes. Their expressions were filled with quiet support, no judgment, just an unwavering belief that she could face this.

The weight of her conversation with Aeri, Jimin, and Minjeong lingered in Ningning’s chest as she walked across campus the next morning. The air was brisk, carrying the scent of damp earth from a recent rain, but it did little to clear her thoughts.

Her friends had been right, she couldn’t keep running. But knowing that and acting on it were two different things. She wasn’t ready to face Y/N yet. Every time she thought about reaching out, the fear of rejection, the fear of making things worse, held her back.

She sighed, pulling her bag tighter over her shoulder as she approached her next class. The last thing she needed was to spiral in front of her classmates.

But as she rounded the corner to the lecture hall, she froze. Yunjin and Chaewon were waiting by the door, their arms crossed and their expressions unreadable.

Ningning’s heart sank.

“Uh, hey,” she said cautiously, offering a weak smile.

Yunjin raised an eyebrow, her tone sharp. “We need to talk.”

Ningning hesitated, her gaze darting to the open classroom door like it was a lifeline. Her heart pounded as if it could somehow drown out the growing tension in the air. She felt cornered, exposed, and the sharp looks Yunjin and Chaewon were giving her only made it worse.

Before she could make a move, Yunjin stepped forward, her stance unyielding.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Yunjin said firmly. Her voice was steady, but there was no mistaking the edge in her tone.

Ningning’s stomach churned as the words sank in. Her fingers fumbled with the strap of her bag, and she looked to Chaewon, silently hoping for an out.

Chaewon placed a calming hand on Yunjin’s shoulder, her expression softer but no less resolute. “We’re not here to fight,” she said, her voice measured. “We just want answers.”

Ningning sighed heavily, her shoulders sagging under the weight of the moment. “Answers to what?” she asked, though the dread creeping into her chest told her she already knew.

“To why you hurt Y/N,” Yunjin said bluntly, her gaze cutting through Ningning’s defenses. “Do you have any idea what you’ve put her through?”

Ningning flinched, the accusation landing like a physical blow. She opened her mouth to respond, but the words caught in her throat. The memory of Y/N’s hurt expression flashed in her mind, twisting her stomach into knots.

“I... I didn’t mean to hurt her,” she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper.

“But you did,” Chaewon interjected, her voice steady but heavy with meaning. “She’s been trying to move on, but it’s obvious she’s still hurting. And honestly? So are you.”

Ningning felt the heat rising in her cheeks, a mix of shame and defensiveness bubbling up inside her. Her grip on her bag tightened, her knuckles white.

“I’m fine,” she said tersely, though the tremor in her voice betrayed her.

“No, you’re not,” Yunjin snapped, her words cutting through Ningning’s facade. “We’ve seen how you’ve been acting, like a mess, avoiding everyone, barely holding it together.” She leaned in slightly, her tone biting but not unkind. “If you’re fine, then I’m a pop star.”

The last comment hung in the air, both sharp and oddly humorous, but Ningning couldn’t bring herself to respond. Her throat felt tight, and her chest ached with the weight of her emotions. She tried to hold her ground, but the truth was written all over her face, and Yunjin and Chaewon weren’t letting her run from it.

Ningning’s temper flared, the heat of frustration rising to her face. Her voice came out sharper than she intended. “I don’t see how this is any of your business.”

Her hands gripped the strap of her bag so tightly her knuckles turned white. The tension coiling in her chest felt unbearable, and lashing out was the only release she could find.

Yunjin didn’t back down. Instead, she stepped closer, her eyes narrowing with a mix of anger and determination. “It’s my business because Y/N is my friend,” she said, her voice unwavering. “She’s been there for me when I needed her, and I’m not going to stand by and watch her suffer because you can’t get your act together.”

The words struck a nerve, and Ningning’s jaw clenched as she fought to maintain her composure. She could feel the pressure building behind her eyes, but she refused to let it show.

Chaewon sighed, stepping slightly between them, her voice calm but firm. “We’re not here to attack you, Ningning,” she said, her eyes searching Ningning’s face. “But you can’t keep pretending this didn’t happen. You need to face it.”

Ningning shook her head, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and desperation. “I don’t owe you anything,” she muttered, her fists curling at her sides.

“You don’t owe us anything,” Yunjin said, her tone softening slightly but losing none of its weight. “But you owe it to Y/N, and to yourself, to stop running and be honest about how you feel.”

The words hung in the air, heavy with meaning.

Ningning’s throat tightened, her defenses wavering as the truth pressed against her like a physical weight. Her voice cracked as she shot back, “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t feel like crap every single day for what I did?”

Chaewon placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, her voice soothing. “Then why not do something about it? Running away isn’t making it better, it’s only making it worse.”

“I’m scared, okay?” Ningning’s voice broke completely, and she felt the first sting of tears in her eyes. “I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t even know if I can.”

Yunjin’s gaze softened, and she let out a sigh, her arms uncrossing. “Ning, no one’s saying it’ll be easy. But if you care about her even half as much as we think you do, then you owe it to her, and to yourself to try.”

Chaewon nodded, her tone kind but firm. “We’re not against you, Ningning. We’re trying to help you.”

Ningning blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill. The vulnerability she had been running from for so long felt like it was finally catching up to her, and she wasn’t sure she had the strength to keep holding it off.

Ningning’s facade cracked at the words, her composure slipping as the emotions she had been suppressing clawed their way to the surface. Her chest felt tight, her breathing uneven. She tried to hold it together, but the pressure was too much.

“You think it’s that easy?” she snapped, her voice shaking with a mix of anger and despair. Her hands balled into fists at her sides as she glared at Yunjin, though her expression was more pleading than hostile. “You think I don’t want to fix this? I don’t even know where to start!”

Her words hung in the air, raw and unfiltered.

Yunjin’s sharp expression softened slightly, though her stance remained firm. She took a step back, giving Ningning space, but her voice carried the same unwavering conviction. “You start by being honest,” she said simply. “With her, and with yourself.”

The directness of the statement left Ningning momentarily speechless. She looked down, her breathing shaky as her thoughts swirled chaotically.

Chaewon stepped closer, her voice gentle but resolute. “You care about her, don’t you?”

Ningning opened her mouth to respond, but the words caught in her throat, the weight of them too much to bear. Her lips parted in a silent attempt to speak, but no sound came. Instead, her eyes burned with unshed tears as she looked away, her gaze fixed on the ground.

The lump in her throat grew tighter, and the silence between them stretched until Yunjin broke it.

“You love her, don’t you?” Yunjin’s voice was softer now, almost tender, but the question hit like a punch to the gut.

The weight of the truth she had been avoiding pressed down on Ningning, and her shoulders sagged under its heaviness. She stumbled back, sinking onto the nearest bench as her defenses crumbled entirely.

Her hands trembled as they came up to cover her face, and her voice was thick with emotion when she finally spoke. “I don’t know what to do,” she whispered, her words barely audible. “I’m scared. What if I mess it up again? What if she’s better off without me?”

Her confession lingered in the air, raw and vulnerable, and for a moment, the only sound was her quiet, uneven breathing.

Chaewon crouched down in front of her, resting a comforting hand on Ningning’s knee. Her voice was steady and reassuring, each word deliberate. “You won’t know unless you try. And I think she deserves to hear the truth, from you, not from anyone else.”

Ningning lowered her hands slightly, her tear-streaked face finally visible. She blinked at Chaewon, her lips trembling as she tried to absorb the words.

“What if it’s too late?” she asked, her voice breaking.

Yunjin stepped forward, her tone softer but still firm. “Then at least you’ll know you tried. But you can’t keep running from this, Ning. You owe it to both of you to face it, no matter how scary it feels.”

Ningning’s breathing slowed as the weight of their words settled over her. The fear that had been consuming her didn’t vanish, but for the first time, she felt a faint glimmer of possibility. Of hope.

Yunjin sighed, leaning back slightly. Her expression softened, though her tone remained firm. “Look, you don’t have to figure it all out right now,” she said, her voice measured. “But you need to talk to her. Be honest about how you feel, even if it’s messy.”

Ningning swallowed hard, the weight of the words sinking into her chest. Be honest. The very thought made her stomach churn. Honesty meant vulnerability, and vulnerability meant opening herself up to the possibility of rejection. Or worse, hurting Y/N again.

Chaewon nodded, stepping closer with a look of quiet determination. “We’ll help you,” she said gently. “We can set up a time for you to talk to her, somewhere private, where you won’t feel pressured. Somewhere you can just... be real with her.”

Ningning’s heart pounded as the thought took root. Her mind raced with the possibilities, each one more nerve-wracking than the last. What would she even say? How could she begin to fix the damage she’d caused?

But as terrifying as the thought of facing Y/N was, the alternative, living with the regret of never trying, was worse. The ache in her chest, the gnawing sense of emptiness that had consumed her since the day she pushed Y/N away, was unbearable.

Her gaze flickered between Yunjin and Chaewon, both of them watching her with expectant yet supportive eyes. Her fingers twisted nervously in her lap as she finally nodded.

“Okay,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll do it.”

The words felt fragile, as if they might shatter under the weight of her doubt, but as they hung in the air, a small wave of relief washed over her.

Yunjin’s expression softened into a small smile, a mix of approval and reassurance. “Good. Because it’s about time,” she said, her tone lighter now but still carrying the weight of their earlier conversation.

Chaewon crouched down slightly, meeting Ningning’s gaze as she gently patted her shoulder. “You’re not alone in this,” she said, her voice steady and full of warmth. “We’ll be here every step of the way.”

The simple gesture, Chaewon’s hand on her shoulder, the sincerity in her voice, was enough to crack through Ningning’s lingering doubt. For the first time in weeks, she felt a flicker of something she hadn’t dared to hope for: a glimmer of hope.

It wasn’t going to be easy. She knew that. But as she looked at Yunjin and Chaewon, their expressions filled with quiet confidence in her, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she could find a way to make things right.

The knot in her chest loosened slightly, and she let out a shaky breath. “Thank you,” she murmured, the words carrying a weight of gratitude she couldn’t fully express.

Chaewon smiled softly, standing back up and gesturing toward the hallway. “You’ve got this, Ningning. And when you’re ready, we’ll help you figure out the next step.”

Yunjin gave a playful nudge to Ningning’s shoulder as they turned to leave. “And don’t overthink it too much,” she said, her tone teasing but still supportive. “You’ve already made it this far. The hard part’s just beginning, but you’re tougher than you think.”

Ningning couldn’t bring herself to smile fully, but the faint curve of her lips was enough. As she watched her friends walk ahead, she realized that while the path ahead was uncertain, she wasn’t walking it alone.

[arpicityandneed]

Hi there! I'm so excited to hear your page is growing! Your work is amazing and I can't wait to see what you write next. Thank you for taking the time to share your work with us! 💜

If there's still space, could I ask for 2 or 10 with Steve or Bucky?

Thank you again and good luck in school!

Thanks!! It's my pleasure to share honestly.

Steve (#2 sex in front of a big window where anyone could glance up and spot them)

18+ f!reader. Cap!Steve. Dirty talk. Spanking. Semi public sex.

You couldn't breathe, couldn't think, all you could do was feel. Your cheek was pressed against cool glass as your boyfriend fucked you ravenously.

Alright maybe you shouldn't have teased him so much- each selfie sent during a tactical meeting was just your way of passing the time.

In your own defense, you'd been unsupervised.

But Steve had simply thrown you over his shoulder when he got back, ignoring your squeaks of protest. Your tshirt (his actually) was ripped in half before you got thrown on the bed, and all you got was one of his shit eating grins and a "you asked for it" before he was on you.

That was three- four? rounds ago, and at this point you weren't sure if you wanted to curse or thank Erskine's serum. Your boyfriend's stamina was endless.

"Come on pretty girl, where'd all that attitude go hm?" Steve was panting in your ear, thrusting his wickedly fat cock into your cum filled pussy over and over as his massive hand slapped your ass cheek.

"Thought you wanted my attention. Well now you have it baby." He bit down on your shoulder hard enough to leave teeth marks as you clenched down around him, every roll of his hips dragging the head of his cock over your spot and making you keen.

"Stevie," you moaned completely out of it as you fucked yourself back onto his cock shamelessly, each balls deep kiss of his tip to your cervix making your eyes cross.

"Yeah yeah, I'm here sweetheart. Just gotta gimme one more and I'll let you rest for a bit mkay?" Steve may be enthustiatic but he was still gentle with your nonenhanced body. (As gentle as you wanted him to be anway.)

All it took was his hand snaking around to find your clit before you were screaming his name, grateful for the soundproof glass of Stark tower.

Steve groaned and pulled your hips flush against his before he added even more of his super sized load to your overflowing folds. If you had hand shaped bruises on your hips tomorrow you wouldn't be surprised, but more importantly you wondered if birth control worked with super soldier sperm.

Gentle hands picked you up when you would've fallen to the floor happily, carrying you to the shower and turning on the hot water as they held you close.

"Hey baby, can you open your eyes for me?" Steve cajoled softly, cupping your cheek in his hand as you blinked up at him blearily.

"Try that shit again and I'll have Bucky deal with you, he loves putting little brats like you in their place." Your eyes widened in shock and more than a little bit of interest, and it just made Steve laugh.

"Next time baby, rest now."

~

(10 minutes prior)

Bucky moved silently, Steve's text with coordinates and a simple note 'enjoy the show' made him curious he could admit. But he wasn't expecting to see your pretty little self fucked out and pressed against the glass.

Steve had picked the perfect spot, the exact coordinates giving Bucky a private view of Steve's window and your fully naked body split open on his best friends cock.

"Well I'll be damned," Bucky muttered as he adjusted his erection in his pants.

Even 70 years later, Stevie was still a fucking punk.

[rabberoth]

Guide to Safe and Consentual Worship

Anyone can participate in worship, and anyone can be worshipped. Demons, angels, voids, beings of light, celestial entities—basically the whole cosmic buffet of existence—can be worshipped. Deities, obviously. Gods, goddesses, you name it. The possibilities are endless.

But here’s the thing: there’s a proper way to do worship, and there’s a… let’s call it less-than-stellar way.

To keep things running smoothly and ensure the vibes stay healthy, I’ve put together a simple little guide. Nothing too fancy, just some tips to make sure the dynamics remain respectful.

1) Mutual Consent

Both parties must clearly discuss and agree on the terms of worship beforehand.

Outline what worship entails—whether it’s symbolic gestures, words of affirmation, or creative expressions—and ensure that both parties are comfortable.

2) Establishing Trust

It’s strongly recommended that worship only occur between individuals who have an established relationship or significant trust.

Clearly define what is acceptable and what isn’t for both parties.

Are there any topics or actions that should be avoided?

What are the roles and responsibilities of each party?

3) Avoiding Unhealthy Power Dynamics

Both parties are equals in the interaction. Worship is not about domination or subjugation but mutual respect.

The subject of worship must not use their perceived status to manipulate, demand, or exploit the worshipper.

Likewise, the worshipper must not idealize or pedestalize the subject of worship to an unhealthy degree.

4) Ensuring Emotional Safety

Communicate. Talk about boundaries, and check in with each other on how the dynamic feels.

Either party can revoke consent at any time.

5) Avoiding Parasociality

It’s difficult to maintain healthy boundaries with individuals you do not know or interact with directly!

Encourage any worship to occur in spaces where both parties can communicate openly to each other, rather than one-sided conversations and/or expressions.

Practical Tips for Worship

Avoid Material Demands: Worship should avoid including demands for gifts or other material items, as this can lead to exploitation.

Etiquette: Ensure respectful and kind interactions. The subject of worship should not tolerate harassment, and worshippers should not face excessive obligations they didn’t agree to.

Signs of Unhealthy Worship Dynamics

One party feels guilted or pressured to continue despite discomfort.

Emotional manipulation or demands for constant attention.

One-sided interactions where the worshipper idealizes the subject of worship without mutual acknowledgment.

If one person is putting in all the emotional effort while the other just takes (or demands), it’s time to check those boundaries.

Losing sight of the difference between a healthy connection and harmful dependency.

Unrealistic expectations.

Constant messages, demands for attention, or refusal to take “no” for an answer.

What to Do if You Spot These Signs

Communicate what’s making you uncomfortable.

If that doesn’t work, take a step back and reassess the situation.

If all else fails, walk away.

Remember, worship should be a source of positivity, growth, and connection—not stress, manipulation, or obligation. Worship isn’t bad, just make sure you’re doing it safely loves!

Stay safe out there!

[ivesambrose]

𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓴

1. 2. 3.

Here's to reminding all of you what your heart truly desires so you don't settle for less ❤️

To Book a personal reading with me DM or email me at Ivesambrose@gmail.com

Services offered

Client testimonials & feedback

Thank you for the tip 🌹

Picture 1

A love that feels like a gift and an answered prayer.

A love that happens in the right place at the right time.

A love built on understanding rather than endless compromises that make you lesser of the person you truly are.

You likely seek someone who is just as much of a giver as you are. You want a traveller, a merchant almost, a story teller, someone good with children or simply someone who brings out your inner child and soothes it. Someone who makes you feel secure and safe overtime. Someone who can guide you and that you can learn from. Someone who makes you feel beautiful.

You seek a type of love thar grows overtime, especially as friends, a reliable type of love, you also want to help others in need together, give back to the community, simply have more than enough. Love is supposed to be your safe space.

Avoid relationships or romantic partners who rush you or make you feel on the edge or aren't generous with their time, affection and resources.

Picture 2

A love that's crossed the oceans of time and burnt bridges and crawled out of the woods just to find you.

A passionate love.

A love built on something transcendal.

You seek someone uncommon but good with words and expression. You want someone expressive, determined and strong both internally and externally. Someone who does not required validation and can stay private but at the same time will express their love to you deeply.

You seek a type of love that is built on devotion. Your walls are titanium strong so to break that down and reach for the softness in your heart is not for the weak. You seek solid foundations and someone to build your own legacy with. Someone who mirrors you, you have a telepathy with and who will give you their world. You seek someone you can continue learning and growing fond of no matter how long time passes. You seek intensity as well as adventure.

Avoid relationships and partners you have no mental, emotional and physical stimulation with. With bare minimum efforts or if you feel you'll have to mask yourself constantly or settle just because they're 'nice'.

Picture 3

A love that quiets your anxious mind.

An honest love that doesn't make you question it's Integrity or make you watch your back with every step.

A love that will catch you if you fall. A love that won't judge you if you slip. A love built on thoughts, memories, words, secrets, poems, understanding and acceptance.

You seek someone emotionally present and mature. Someone calm and collected and soft spoken. Loudness and rashness really bothers you. You seek someone a little old school perhaps in aesthetics and approach yet open minded. Someone you can bare your soul to, tell everything to, know everything about and still feel secure. Someone to share your world with and travel the world with and maybe even create a one of your own together. Away from the norm. A love that feels like a warm hug on a winter's night. A love that writers about.

Avoid relationships and partners who can't understand your need to be silent and aloof sometimes. Avoid anyone and anything that makes you feel uncomfortable but insists that you're not supposed to feel that way.

[theblackfemininesociety]

🌬️ Beat the Winter Blues: Seasonal Depression (Introvert Edition) ❄️

Hello besties and future besties of BFS,

Winter is approaching! Even with all the festivities going on we understand it’s easy to crawl into that winter blues shell and get in a depressing funk. Especially for my introverted besties (I am definitely an introvert) we thought it was time to give you some tips to help beat the winter blues.

Tip #1: Revamp your space!

(Especially your BEDDING 🛌)

As an introvert take full advantage the power of Feng shui,

An ancient Chinese practice helps arrange living and working spaces to improve health, harmony, and balance.

Recently I’ve decided with the journey I’ve been on, it was time not only get new room decor but it was time get a new comforter set ! You can do this without breaking the bank, with a little creativity, you can have a space that motivates you to focus on your goals!

Feng Shui Tips:

1. Natural Light: Maximize natural light during the day by using sheer curtains or blinds that can be easily opened. Consider mirrors strategically placed to reflect light and make the space feel brighter.

2. LED Lights: Incorporate adjustable LED lights. Use warm white tones for a cozy atmosphere or bright neon colors at night to energize the space.

3. Color Palette: Choose calming colors like soft blues, greens, or pastels for the walls and decor. These colors can create a serene environment that promotes relaxation. But by all means have fun with it. My entire room is pink! I associate pink with happiness so do what works for you.

4. Plants: Add indoor plants to bring life and positivity into the space. Plants like peace lilies or snake plants are great options that also improve air quality.

5. Declutter: Keep the bedroom tidy and organized please! Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Clutter can create negative energy and contribute to feelings of stress and anxiety.

6. Comfortable Bedding: Invest in high-quality, comfortable bedding that makes your bed a sanctuary. Soft textures can enhance your mood and sleep!

7. Essential Oils: Use a diffuser with calming essential oils like lavender or eucalyptus. These scents can create a soothing atmosphere conducive to relaxation. If you don’t want a diffuser try to stock up on some candles instead!

8. Artwork: Hang uplifting and inspiring artwork that resonates with you. Choose images that promote positive emotions or memories.

9. Sound: Consider a white noise machine or calming music to create a calming effect to your bedroom.

10. Personal Touches: Incorporate personal items that bring you joy, such as photographs or mementos, to create a sense of connection and warmth in your space.

Fun Tip: During the holidays, it’s an mood booster when you change little decor in your bedroom. Consider adding festive throw pillows, hanging string lights, or incorporating seasonal colors into your bedding. A small touch, like a holiday-themed artwork or a cozy blanket, can transform your space and lift your spirits. Embrace the season by creating a warm and inviting atmosphere that reflects the joy and cheer of the holidays.

BENEFITS:

If you’re an introverted person affected by seasonal depression, chances are your bedroom is your comfort space. Our goal is to make it feel like a sanctuary! Your mood is affected by your surroundings so why not make your room feel like a safe and uplifting space!

Are you aware that our sisterhood extends to:

Instagram • Groupchat • Facebook

↑ Follow / Join us for endless motivation, support & top tier experiences that will elevate your journey to new heights ✨

[breezybangtanbebe]

ExBoyfriendNamjoon was a little pathetic if you were being honest. Dig through that hard-bodied exterior, and you’d find that he’s as gummy as puddy when it came to you. Two years of being with him and putting up with the crazy schedules, lack of communication due to them, having to jump through hoops to conceal your relationship , all while dating rumors with other people in the industry didnt bode too well for the union in the end.

So when you’d had enough of his aloofness and emotional unavailability, walking away from him was mostly hard because he made it that way.

The extravagant gifts he’d send.

The endless late night calls and drunk texts.

The pop ups at your home.

The dead look in his tired eyes that pinned you with his repetitive questions.

“Why wont you talk to me?”

“Why cant we work this out?”

“Why did you just leave without hearing me?”

It was always the same.

But it was never something you minded when his insistence landed him between your legs, mumbling his pleas against your pussy.

Namjoon’s tongue felt like velvet against your puffy folds and you laid there spread for him on your bed with a hand resting against his spiky blonde buzz cut.

This was a new look for him but you weren't mad at it.

“Hmm?” you tucked your lips together and hummed partially for him to repeat what he’d just said, while also reacting to his skilled tongue on your clit.

Namjoon pauses licking you to lift his head.

“I said, just fucking come back to me already.” his voice thick and deep from emotion. It does a few things to you, your heart aching at the sadness in his tone. It also made your walls clench around the fingers paused inside of you that had been rubbing at your spot teasingly while he ate.

You lean up on your elbow as you panted, your own voice hoarse from moaning, and give your ex a quizzical look.

“Why should I? Youre the one who pushed me away..”

Namjoon should have expected such a response but he still seems confused.

“What do you mean? Im here arent I? Why would I push you away?”

You sigh.

This wasnt the time for another back and forth session with Kim Namjoon, the fucking debate king. He was just nose deep in your cunt a second ago, licking your towards a much needed orgasm after the week you’d had. Hell, if you knew letting him come over would result in a rehash of the last 2 months, you would have left him on read.

Being horny on a dull Saturday night with your ex was dangerous waters to be in.

“Y-you always do this! Namjoon, I..” you try to begin but the words morph into a sharp gasp and moan when those damned lips of his latch on to your clit. He suckles it in pulses while tapping it with the tip of his tongue. His two long middle and index fingers resume plunging in and out of you, pressing upwards to stimulate you exactly where he knew you needed.

“Oh shit..” you inhale sharply, your jaw dropping and brows pinching together while your hand pressed flat against the back of Namjoon’s head.

He groans and closes his eyes when you pressed him harder against your heat, his free hand coming up to lay flat against your tummy.

He had you fully naked while he’d only shed his shirt before getting down to business, so you knew his dick was hard and leaking in the confines his underwear and sweats.

Part of you wanted him in your mouth too, missing the taste of his pre cum and the weight of his girth on your tongue. But you knew he didnt deserve that type of treatment right now.

Hell, he knew that. Hence why he was working so hard on making you come undone all over his face.

The desperation was palpable with every sloppy kiss, lick, and suck against your swollen clit, and Namjoon’s fingers were pushing you towards dangerous heights. Your brain was close to going blank and settling in the type of head space where he could ask you anything and you’d leave your ego out of the answer.

“Please. Come back to me. Everything will be different. Dont you miss me? Dont you miss this?” he mumbled hurriedly after pulling off of your clit, his fingers steadily rubbing your g-spot.

Your keening is all you can manage, both of your hands now fisting at the sheets under you.

“Yes..fuck yes..” you slur, not even sure of what youre saying. Namjoon kept his eyes on your fucked out expression as he dove back in, lapping his long tongue over your clit a few more times.

“Yeah? Miss the way I make you feel? Miss the way I eat this pussy baby?”

His words were doing exactly what they were meant to do, push you into that blank space of lust drunkenness with a heightened desperation to cum.

And you knew you would. You always did. Namjoon was the type of man that wouldn't let up until you were shaking and calling his name, roughing him up with your nails dragging through his short cut.

He would always moan with you when you came, his husky groan vibrating against your pussy and damn near overstimulating you. His tongue slows its circles of infinity over your sensitive bud and the full warmth of his mouth smothers your pussy as he savors the taste of your fresh release.

One would think it was a fine wine the way it warmed his body and made the urge to pull his dick out and stroke it with your wetness on his fingers overwhelming.

“Fuck..” he exhaled at the thought, dragging his tongue up and down your seam to coax you back down from wherever his mouth had sent you. Your body goes limp, the hand that returned to Namjoon’s head sliding down the side of his face.

When you opened your eyes and gaze down at him, youre shocked to find his eyes just as teary as yours.

You sit up on your elbow again and frown worriedly down at your ex.

“Joon..” you call to him with what little of a voice you have at the moment, and your hand idles at his cheek.

His languid licks are replaced by tender kisses on your lower lips, then to your inner thigh. Then your palm. His lips are pillow soft and swollen from how passionately he was eating you, and they do little to ease you away from being stimulated towards wanting to cum all over his face again. He takes mercy on you though, leaning into your caress with his earnest eyes still locked with yours.

“I know Im a fucking mess. And I know how hard it is to be with someone like me..” Namjoon starts, holding your full attention.

“You deserve so much more. But I'm too selfish..I dont want anyone else to have you. I want...I need you to myself..” he sniffles.

You were still chasing your next breath when your fingers began stroking his face. Your thumb catches a fat tear that managed to escape and it inspires another to fall from his opposite eye.

Namjoon wasnt a crier. While he was emotionally expressive (usually through his music), it was very rare for him to allow himself to cry.

Especially in front of you.

Something you’d always resented.

“Joonie..” you sit up and Namjoon’s wide hands lift your legs from over his shoulders.

“I dont blame you for walking away.” he shakes his head, stopping you from speaking before he could lay all of his feelings bare.

“..but I just needed you tonight. Im enlisting soon and..and I just...” his voice breaks, the fear and smothering emotions seizing is tongue. You shush him immediately and scoot towards the edge of the bed to embrace him.

The two of you remained in this suggestive position with Namjoon on his knees at the edge of your bed,his large arms hugging your naked waist with his head resting on your tummy. You were fully sitting up now with your hands running over his back and over his head affectionatley.

Truth was, you did miss Namjoon. Terribly. It killed you to catch clips of his lives and seeing how tired and dejected he looked. How it seemed like he’d lost weight and wasnt sleeping or eating well. You knew he’s been drinking more often, and the scent of cigarettes mixing with his cologne let you know he’d picked up that habit again. It was clear that he’d been a mess without you.

And to be even more honest, you werent doing that hot yourself.

But there were just too many issues to work through with him that you both knew he’d never have the time to do with the type of career he has.

Tonight didn't need to be about that though.

Tonight, you were perfectly fine with allowing Namjoon to pleasure you since he knew exactly what you liked.

You both needed that.

[selfhelpforstudents]

How to Stay Motivated and Productive: Crushing Your Goals Without Burning Out

Staying motivated and productive can feel like a constant battle, especially when life throws distractions, stress, and endless to-do lists your way. But fear not! With the right mindset and strategies, you can keep your motivation high and your productivity on point, without burning out. Let’s dive into some tips to help you crush your goals and stay energized along the way.

1. Start with Your "Why"

Before you even think about getting stuff done, take a moment to connect with your “why.” Why do you want to achieve these goals? Whether it’s personal growth, career advancement, or simply getting through your day with your sanity intact, having a clear purpose fuels motivation. When the going gets tough, reminding yourself of the bigger picture can keep you pushing forward.

2. Set Clear, Realistic Goals

Productivity isn’t just about doing more; it’s about doing what matters. Break your goals down into specific, achievable tasks. Instead of vague goals like “get fit” or “study more,” try “exercise for 30 minutes three times a week” or “study for 45 minutes, then take a 15-minute break.” Clear goals give you a roadmap and make it easier to track your progress.

3. Create a Routine That Works for You

Routines are your best friend when it comes to staying productive. They help build momentum and reduce the mental energy spent on deciding what to do next. But remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all routine—what works for someone else might not work for you. Experiment with different schedules until you find one that aligns with your natural rhythms and lifestyle.

4. Embrace the Power of Small Wins

There’s nothing like the rush of ticking something off your to-do list. Those small wins build momentum and keep you motivated to tackle bigger tasks. Break larger projects into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate each achievement along the way. It’s like giving yourself a mini high-five every time you complete something, and who doesn’t love that?

5. Use the Pomodoro Technique

If you struggle with staying focused, the Pomodoro Technique is a game-changer. Work for 25 minutes, then take a 5-minute break. After four sessions, take a longer break (15-30 minutes). This method not only helps maintain focus but also prevents burnout by ensuring you’re taking regular breaks. It’s a win-win for both your productivity and your well-being.

6. Declutter Your Space, Declutter Your Mind

A cluttered workspace can lead to a cluttered mind. Take a few minutes each day to tidy up your environment. A clean, organized space can help you feel more in control and focused on the task at hand. Plus, it’s one less thing to stress about when you’re trying to get in the zone.

7. Prioritize Self-Care

Productivity isn’t just about grinding 24/7. To stay motivated, you need to take care of yourself. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, and staying active. Incorporate activities that relax and recharge you—whether it’s reading, meditating, or just chilling out with a good Netflix show. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

8. Mix It Up

Monotony can kill motivation. If you find yourself getting bored or stuck in a rut, mix things up. Try changing your environment—work from a different room or a coffee shop. Switch up your routine or try new productivity tools and techniques. Keeping things fresh can reignite your enthusiasm and keep you engaged.

9. Stay Accountable

Share your goals with a friend, family member, or even online communities. Having someone to check in with can keep you accountable and motivated. Plus, it’s a great way to get support and encouragement when you need it most. Sometimes, just knowing someone else is rooting for you is enough to keep you going.

10. Forgive Yourself for Off Days

Let’s be real—not every day is going to be a productivity powerhouse. Some days, the motivation just isn’t there, and that’s okay. The key is not to beat yourself up over it. Instead, acknowledge it, rest, and come back stronger the next day. Progress isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being consistent over time.

11. Visualize Your Success

Take a few minutes each day to visualize what success looks like for you. Imagine how it will feel to achieve your goals, and let that positive energy drive you forward. Visualization is a powerful tool that can help keep your motivation alive, even when the journey feels long.

12. Reward Yourself

Don’t forget to reward yourself for your hard work. Whether it’s treating yourself to something special, taking a day off, or just indulging in your favorite activity, rewards help reinforce the positive behavior of staying productive. It gives you something to look forward to and makes the grind feel a little less grindy.

13. Keep Learning and Growing

Finally, keep feeding your mind with new ideas and inspiration. Read books, listen to podcasts, watch TED Talks—whatever gets your creative juices flowing. Continuous learning keeps you motivated by reminding you that there’s always more to discover and achieve.

Final Thoughts

Staying motivated and productive isn’t about working harder—it’s about working smarter. By setting clear goals, creating a routine that works for you, and prioritizing self-care, you can stay on top of your game without burning out. Remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself, celebrate your progress, and keep moving forward. You’ve got this!

Love,

Sophia

[milksuu]

Glitter & Leather | Hiccup x Fairy!Reader

Pairings: Hiccup 'Horrendous’ Haddock III x fairy!fem!reader

Content/Warnings: None

Contains: Fluff & Foul Fairy Language

a/n: couldn't help but be inspired by a few mythical!reader fics. also, I have a current obsession with faitytale themes at the moment. might be a part 2 soon!

“My, aren’t you a teeny human?”

There was a squeak in a grove of mossy timber trees, laden with flower beds and fists-full of sprouted grass. Standing one mushroom cap high, you tip-toed across a linen wrapped around a cooing newborn, existing with eyes still closed. It was an unlucky fate that the child was weak, unwanted, and left to the cruel hand of nature. However, it was to your fortune that this child would be the exchange for your promised gift. 

“My king will be so happy when I return with you,” you said, dancing giddily, ”and then, I’ll finally have my wings. Won’t that be a dream?”

Your pitter-pattering and mousy meeps stirred the babe, and its sniffling turned into wails that even cotton balls in your ears wouldn’t muffle. 

“Stop crying!” You stomped and slapped your pointed ears shut. “You should be happy to live as a servant for all eternity, instead of dying.”

The child responded with more tears than one could imagine. It flung its blubby hands forward, grasping you tightly, flailing you about. It bonked you left and right, tither and hither, and every space in between. When it smushed you across its blubbering face, you gasped on the dollops of tears soaking your entire head. 

You coughed and spat on the salty taste. “Let go of me you soggy lump!”

Your own cries were meaningless. The child held tighter, and you feared your bones would become miniscule mounds of white dust and glitter. With a defeated sigh, you cleared your throat, and hummed a sweet tune beloved and true in the Seelie court. A song of merriment, dancing, and feasting. Gradually, the baby's cries dwindled to waning breaths, until its own exhaustion tucked it back to sleep.

Wiggling and prying, you popped out from its weakened hold. Drained yourself, you fell to your hands and knees on the child. The shawl beneath was soft and inviting, and a nap sounded pleasant before your trip back to the kingdom. Amid your droning thoughts, the sobs and cries of a human echoed through the morning mist. It was not that of a baby, nor a child, but of a woman. 

You turned your head to peek at the baby's cherub features. “Looks like they want to keep you after all.”

You hung your chin low, contemplating snatching the child away before the naked eye could see. The terrible sobs and desperate crunching of distant gravel grew like roots in your chest, entangling your heart in thorns.

“Oh, for the love bee’s and poppy seeds,” you huffed and pointed a finger at his wet nose. “I’m sparing you today, but when we meet again, I will be taking you with me.”

With an indignant ‘hmph’ you hopped down to the grass bed below, scurrying behind a rock with fungus growing all over. Your lashes blinked when the human woman sprang into view. Throwing herself to the ground, she crawled on aching hands and knees to fetch the tiny bundle. Cradling the babe close, she whispered choked apologies and words of affection in endless rivers.

There was a flutter in your heart, and the tiniest lift to your lips. Although you would not get your wings today, in this moment you thought, sparing the child was a present better to give, than to receive.

⋆ ˖ ⁺ ‧ ₊ ⚜⎯⎯☾ ༻♔༺ ☽⎯⎯ ⚜₊ ‧ ⁺ ˖ ⋆

Twenty-years later…

Between the aged timber greens and soft patches of wildflowers, grew a new flourish of apple blossoms. The orchard became your hiding place and home, since you hadn’t returned to the fairy realm for all these years. You swore an oath not to return until you were able to complete your task; the shame if you came back empty handed would be too much to bare. Your king wasn’t fond of failure.

Nothing less than success was expected from his own daughter, after all.

Stepping out of your mushroom cottage made for one, you decided to search for a fallen apple for breakfast. Thinking you heard one drop south of your home, you ventured, pushing away blades of grass. You came upon one, red and shapely. There was never a dull moment in your world, and you arm wrestled an centipede and all its legs to claim it. As the crowned victor, you stuck out your tongue to its retreating form. 

The ground thundered, shaking the pebbles and dirt at your feet. You pressed yourself against the fruit, wrapping your arms around it, hoping to hide. The creature loomed just above you, and you felt the apple move. Hoisted into the air, your trembling body went with it. You clamped your mouth shut, withholding any sound. 

“Eh, is that a worm?”

You felt a thumb and finger pinch your clothes, plucking you off. You squealed, throwing your fists into the air.

“How dare you call me a worm!” 

You stared squarely at the face of the human boy you recognized. Knowing this made your blood steam hotter than boiled water.

“O-Oh Gods, not a worm, definitely not a worm, more like a…” he spoke windily, and your scowl deepened as his green eyes squinted further. “Tiny person?”

“Fairy person,” you corrected indignantly.

“Right, this is kinda strange, I thought you'd have wings at least,” he mumbled to himself, rolling your body around in his hand like a bag of marbles. “Is this even real? I wonder if I’m dreaming.”

“I am real. Now let go of me,” you squirmed, steam blowing from your ears, “you overgrown human baby!”

“Are all fairies always this…” he paused, finding the right words to say through his tight lips. “Pleasant?”

“I was pleasant enough to let you go when you were nothing more than a drooling glob of pink pudding,” your voice chirped to the highest octave. “You no good, wasp loving, dirty hare footed, son of a cricket—Ugh!”

“Listen, my name’s Hiccup, and not any of those other words you just called me. I mean, do I even want to know what they all meant? They can’t be good where you come from.”

“You’ll get no apologies from me. You made the mistake of finding me and handling me like a brute,” you said, wrestling the thumb of his finger. “I made a promise back then, whenever we should meet again, you would be coming with me.”

“Trust me, I can tell you, we’ve never met before,” he said, furrowing his brows. “I would've remembered. Especially since you’re, well, not even human.”

“Do I have explain everything to you? I found you when you were left here once by your mo–” you stopped short of his earnest gaze. It was apparent he had no clue in the matter. You hummed with frustration. “Oh! Forget it. Your fate has been sealed, and I have you exactly where I want you, flat-footed oaf Hiccup.”

He raised an eyebrow at your struggling form, and a blush came over you. “D-Don’t look at me like that. I’ve fought fleas more intimidating than you. Horseradish! I’ve even fought nasty toads and escaped out of one's belly once.”

“You realize you’re no taller than my left pinky, right?” He grinned at your fluster. “Tell you what, you tell me your name, and I’ll let you go.”

“If you must know, it’s Y/N,” you mumbled, puffing out your cheeks and crossing your arms. “Not that it’ll matter for long, anyway.”

“Huh, why do you say that?”

“Because you’ll be fast asleep soon,” you spoke plainly.

He wrinkled his nose, drawing his curious features closer. “What do you mean by that? I don’t even feel–”

You popped your hands out, blowing a thick layer of sparkling dust. He sneezed against the twinkling cloud, and after a mystifying blink of his eyes, they rolled back to meet the dreamlands behind them. You were about to commemorate your victory, till his form swayed and staggered. The onslaught of wind pulled at your cheeks, lashes, hair and ears. You feared you would need a whole new face. You squealed at the top of your thimble lungs, plummeting to the earth along with him. 

There was a rumble and shake when the boy hit the ground. Your lithe form bounced and flopped around like a blind caterpillar on the leathers of his chest. Still tumbling, you struggled to catch a buckle, holding on for a deer’s life. When the gravel and quakes settled, along with your thumping heart, you stood on your wobbly legs. 

“I…I did it,” you gasped, seeking to catch your breath. “Ahem! I mean, of course, I did. I’ve been preparing for this moment all along.”

Padding around, you minded your balance with the rise and falls of his chest. 

“I’ll admit, you grew from a tiny mush of jelly to be quite handsome, but too bad for you,” you said, wagging a haughty finger. “I’m not interested in taller men. Not only that, I’m far more invested in turning you in for my wings and finally claiming my recognition.”

With a hum, you tapped your lips with your fingertips, “Question is, now, is my magic strong enough to carry you. It would’ve been much easier if you were still a littler one. I’ll need to eat lots of honey if I’m able to pull this off—but bees can be so stingy.”

Begrudgingly, you admitted you didn't prepare this far; after twenty-years no less! You had all the spells in place to capture the boy, but then, it was foolish to think he would simply follow you as a willing hostage. During your pestering thoughts and plans, the earth shook as violently as it did before. You heard calls and shouts, ‘Hiccup! Where are you?’ rumbling through the leaves and woods. You pulled at your strands of glossy hair.

“Good grief!” you moaned and whined. You wondered how many friends and family this single human had, to fervently search for him, whenever you were so close to securing him. 

Pacing absentmindedly, and with a kick of your barefoot against a buckle, you sucked on the pain of your toe. Gathering yourself, you hotly stomped to meet his face. 

“This won’t be the last time we meet,” you muttered, poking and prodding his skin, “and I’ll take something precious from you just to make sure of that.” 

Scrambling, you searched through whatever pockets, nooks and crevices you could find. A medallion caught your eye. Although faded by time, it possessed an essence of sentimental value. You grinned at the luck, but it evaporated when the earthquakes surmounted. Dragging it close, you shuffled your feet, scaling the hill of his shoulder pad, and down the long ramp of his arm. With a hop, you scurried to hide behind the apple he had dropped earlier. 

“Hiccup!” You heard a feminine voice. “You’re sleeping out here, really?”

You felt the grass sway and shift as he groaned and twitched awake. Leaning, you peaked from your hiding spot.

“Astrid?” He asked groggily, rubbing the sleep powder from his face. “What…What’re you doing here?”

“I should be asking you that,” the blonde laughed, helping him rise and steady his feet. “Did you forget about our afternoon flight?”

“Of course not,” he said, waving his hands in front of him. “I was just…I think I saw a fairy.”

Astrid pursed her lips before chuckling and slapping his shoulder.

“That’s a good one. I’ll have to use it if I ever forget about something.”

“I swear, I didn’t forget,” he flushed, walking away with her. “I actually did see one. I even talked to it!”

“Uh-huh, sure you did.”

With banter and laughs, the two left your sight, disappearing beyond the berry bushes and apple blossoms. When the world quieted, you slumped down, pulling your knees against your chest. Resting your head in its comforts, you sighed, ready for your own afternoon nap.

To catch a human—no, to catch this human—was going to take a lot of work.

[thatgentlewife]

Living a Slow and Purposeful Life in a Busy World 🐚🍄‍🟫🌞✨

In a culture that celebrates busyness and productivity, it’s easy to feel like you’re always running out of time. Social media can make this worse by constantly showing us others’ achievements, travels, and seemingly perfect lives. But life doesn’t have to feel like a race. Choosing to slow down and live more intentionally can lead to greater fulfillment, deeper relationships, and a clearer sense of purpose.

(I wrote a similar post for Christian’s if you’re interest that as well)

Here’s how you can embrace a slower, more meaningful life:

1. Start Each Day with Intention

Instead of jumping into the day with your phone or to-do list, take a few minutes to reflect on what truly matters. Journaling, meditating, or simply sitting quietly can help you set the tone for the day.

Tip: Write down three things you’re grateful for each morning. Gratitude can shift your focus from what you need to do to what you already have.

2. Put People First

Rushing through life often means we miss out on meaningful connections. Prioritize quality time with friends and family, and be fully present when you’re with them. Listening, sharing, and laughing together can bring more joy than any achievement.

Tip: Schedule time for loved ones the way you would for important meetings or tasks.

3. Simplify Your Commitments

Overcommitting is a major source of stress and overwhelm. Take a closer look at your schedule and identify what truly adds value to your life. It’s okay to say no to things that don’t align with your priorities.

Tip: Ask yourself, Does this activity energize me or drain me? Let that guide your decisions.

4. Be Mindful of Social Media

Social media can make us feel like we’re not doing enough, as we compare ourselves to the highlight reels of others. Limiting your time online can free up mental space and help you focus on your own path.

Tip: Turn off notifications and set time limits for apps that cause stress or comparison. Consider unfollowing accounts that make you feel inadequate.

5. Embrace Rest and Leisure

Rest is essential, not a luxury. Taking breaks to relax, daydream, or engage in hobbies helps you recharge and approach life with more creativity and patience.

Tip: Plan downtime into your week, whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or simply doing nothing.

6. Practice Living in the Moment

It’s easy to get caught up in planning for the future or dwelling on the past. Slowing down means focusing on the present, whether you’re sharing a meal, working on a project, or simply breathing deeply.

Tip: Try mindfulness exercises like paying attention to your senses or taking a few deep breaths to anchor yourself in the here and now.

7. Redefine Success

Success doesn’t have to mean being the busiest or most accomplished. Consider what truly makes you happy and fulfilled. For many, success is about meaningful relationships, personal growth, and enjoying life—not checking off endless tasks.

Tip: Define your own version of success. What brings you joy and purpose? Focus on that instead of chasing society’s expectations.

8. Let Go of Perfectionism

Striving for perfection can leave you feeling burned out and anxious. Instead, embrace progress over perfection. Mistakes and imperfections are a natural part of life and often lead to growth.

Tip: Give yourself permission to do things “good enough” rather than aiming for an unattainable ideal.

9. Celebrate Small Wins

Slowing down doesn’t mean giving up on your goals—it means appreciating the journey. Take time to acknowledge your progress and celebrate small accomplishments along the way.

Tip: Keep a journal of your wins, no matter how small, to remind yourself of how far you’ve come.

Final Thought

Living a slower, more purposeful life is about finding balance and focusing on what truly matters. It’s not about doing less but about doing what adds value to your life and makes you feel connected to yourself and others. By stepping back from the rush, you can create space to breathe, grow, and enjoy the beauty of the present moment.

“Life isn’t about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.”

With love,

Thatgentlewife

[iliketangerines]

Can we get a part two for the behave like a good dog 🫢- i wanna see how the boys would be with a reader who’s pregnant with twins or triplets👀 like imagine the boys going from that rough state to being careful with reader because carrying and having more then one baby is a HUGE risk- like when she’s horny all they do is service her because they know they can’t be rough with her-

behave like a good dog pt.2

a/n: i gotchu cutie. sorry if this one isn't that smutty. i couldn't really think of anything :(

pairing: liu kang x afab!reader x kung lao

warnings: nsfw (MDNI), pregnancy kink, lactation kink, finger fucking, pussy eating, praise kink, blow jobs, hand jobs

it had been a few months since that night, and a lot had happened since then; Liu Kang had become a Fire God, and Lord Raiden was just Raiden, and Kronika was dead

and you were pregnant, but in the grand scheme of thing, being pregnant didn’t feel quite as large as the other two events

but Kung Lao and Liu Kang certainly treated it like the world was ending, bringing you snacks and water on your beck and call, rubbing your feet the second you sat down, and cuddling close to your stomach to feel the baby kick

or babies kick, it was twins, and you had never been so tired or horny in your life

your breasts had swelled with milk, your thighs had grown in width, and your hips had a layers of fat grown on top of them

you were in no condition to fight or train, and it frustrated you to no end and the frustration usually came as endless horniness

and who were Liu Kang and Kung Lao to deny you

which is why Liu Kang and you were inside a forgotten closet somewhere on the compound as you carefully kneeled on the ground and pawed at Liu Kang’s pants

you had pulled him into the space, needing to suck his cock, and Liu Kang wasn’t one to deny a treat like this

he pulls down his pants, and immediately you’re on him, sucking on the tip of his cock and licking from the base to the tip

he bites back a moan, trying to be quiet as you pay special attention to the vein on the side of his cock and bring one hand up to fondle his balls

you whine as you take his cock down your throat, wet gurgling sounds leaving your mouth as you pumped whatever couldn’t fit in your mouth

Liu Kang lets out strained grunts, trying not to buck his hips into your mouth as your eyes fill with tears, and you try to take him deeper into your mouth

you rub your own thighs together, trying to get some friction on your sensitive clit as you pump at Liu Kang’s dick

Liu Kang groans and puts a gentle hand into your hair, pulling you back, so you don’t choke on his cock, but you slap his hand away and take him down to the base

Liu Kang can’t help himself as his hips jerk into your throat, and you gag around his cock

but you stay down on him, tongue pressing into the bottom of his cock and hands flexing and squeezing his thick thighs

finally, you let off and bob your head up and down, moaning and whining around his dick as you rub your thighs together and cum all over your panties, clit sensitive and swollen

Liu Kang groans and cums into your mouth, and you eagerly swallow it all, but when he’s finished, you keep on sucking on his dick, forcing blood flow back into it

Liu Kang groans at the overstimulation as you continue to fuck him with your mouth

he pulls you off him, saying that he can’t, but you pout, whiny and teary saying that you need it, and Liu Kang can’t resist and lets you suck his cock

later that day, Liu Kang utterly spent and guiding you back to the bed, so you can properly lay down, he calls Kung Lao wishes him luck before passing him to you

Kung Lao smiles as he rubs your ankles, your feet, and your sore legs from kneeling in front of Liu Kang so much

he has a smug smirk as he lays on his stomach and takes off your pants and sits between your spreads legs

he presses kisses to the inside of your thighs, kissing the stretch marks and sucking hickeys into your legs

you whine as he holds onto your thighs, sucking on your clit before dipping his tongue down to fuck into your wet cunt

you whimper, gripping onto him as he flicks your clit with his tongue and slides two fingers into your pussy

he fucks you on his fingers, fingertips pressing intthat sweet spot, and you throw your head back and moan loudly as you cum all over his fingers

he detaches from your clit and smirks up at you, mocking you for cumming already, but you just whine and say you’re sensitive and to keep going please

he hums and says gladly, rutting into the mattress as he continues to fuck you on his deft fingers and suck on your clit

you come over and over again, head spinning and dizzy as Kung Lao continues to make you see stars

by the end of the day, you’re tire-out, appetite satiated for the day, and Kung Lao easily picks you up and brings you to the showers

he goes to leave to find Liu Kang to tell him to bring some water, but you grab onto his arms and beg him to stay

Kung Lao can’t resist and so just stays with you and helps you wash your hair as your eyes close at the soft massage of your scalp

he runs his hands over your breasts, your stomach, your legs, tracing the stretch marks and telling you how pretty you look like this, nice and swollen with their children

you blush and tell him to finish up, that you want to go to bed and cuddle up wit him and Liu Kang

Kung Lao chuckles but listens to your commands and finishes washing your hair as finish scrubbing down the rest of your body

after a few minutes, you settle into bed, and Liu Kang is already there with some water

you drink it happily and settle into bed, humming as their warm bodies come and cuddle up right next to you

Liu Kang looks up at you with pleading eyes and squeezes your breast softly, and you can feel milk leaking from the nipple

you sigh and roll your eyes, but you smile and he lifts up your shirt and happily sucks on your nipple, moaning at the taste of your milk filling his mouth

Kung Lao just traces the marks on your stomach, holding you close in his arms as he watches you slowly drift off to sleep

there’s not a place on earth you would rather be

[simstorian-blog]

New York City: THREE

(CC List + DL)

E X T E R I O R

C O N C E R T S T A G E

H O T E L

Standard Suite I An open concept room with a double bed, hosting up to 2 sims, and living area. It comes with its own bathroom.

Standard Suite II An open concept room with 2 double beds, hosting up to 4 sims, and living area. It comes with its own bathroom.

Premium Suite Private Floor with an outdoor terrace overlooking the city. It comes with the following: A full living room, kitchenette, a bedroom, and a full bathroom.

M A R K E T

Equipped with functional objects. You can grab a coffee and can purchase produce, fish, food from the market stall and/or cafeteria counter! This space has its own bathroom.

B E A U T Y B A R

This beauty bar has 6 salon chairs meeting the minimum requirements for the Shear Brilliance Mod. Alongside those chairs comes a retail counter, seating for waiting customers, 4 mani/pedi Spa Day Chairs, 1 Massage Table, a Staff Room, and its own bathroom.

[W A R N I N G: This lot is heavy. I do NOT recommend it if you do not have a decent system. My personal specs – GTX 1660ti, 16GB Ram, Nvme M.2 Primary Drive with 156GB of CC. It takes me 3-4min to load for this lot, which is longer than my regular time. However, I have it set to the ‘Lounge’ lot type to avoid the extended load for the ‘Generic’ lot buildbuy when you have a lot of CC.]

World Map: San Myshuno

Area: Myshuno Meadows

Lot Size:  64 x 64

Capacity:

A Beauty Bar – Salon Chairs, Spa Day Items, Staff Room

A Concert Stage

A Hotel – Lot51’s Suite Life Mod Compatible

A Market – Functional

Bonus: 4 Empty Spaces – 3 Small buildings, 1 Spacious Skyscraper Floor

Gallery ID: Simstorian-ish

[Long post, I know! Second half below the line lol]

Packs Needed

Expansion Packs

City Living

Cottage Living

Eco Lifestyle

Get Famous

Get Together

Get To Work

Growing Together

High School Years

Horse Ranch

Lovestruck

For Rent

Seasons

Snowy Escape

Game Packs

Dine Out

Dream Home Decorator

Journey to Batuu

Jungle Adventure

My Wedding Stories

Parenthood

Realm of Magic

Spa Day

Strangerville

Vampires

Werewolves

Stuff Packs

Backyard Stuff

Bowling Night

Home Chef Hustle

Romantic Garden

Kits

Cozy Bistro

Castle Estate

Desert Luxe

Recommended Gameplay Mods

(Please read through what each mod has to offer before deciding if it fits your gameplay style or not.)

Better Build Buy (For the ‘Deletion Protection’ setting, if you want to modify)

City Vibes Lot Traits

Lock/Unlock Doors for Any Lot (Works for Community Lots)

Shear Brilliance (Active Cosmetology Career)

Spawn Refresh

Suite Life Hotel & Resorts

Use Residential Rentals shared areas as Community Lots (For the lot challenge traits)

CC Used

[All credits go to the following creators for sharing their work with the community. It is greatly appreciated and I hope that you all have endless nights of the best sleep ever.]

Helpful Tip: Having Only What is Needed For CC Builds (Tumblr)

Amoebae: Pile in Carpet

Awingedllama: Traffic Light 3

Charly Pancakes: The Lighthouse Collection (Books C + D)

Felixandre: Berlin Pt. 2 (Front Door), Chateau Pt. 1|2|3|4, Colonial Pt. 1|3, Estate Pt. 1|2|3 (CF), Georgian, Gothic Revival (Mirror), Grove Pt. 1|2|3|4, January 2018, London Interior (Cane Chair), Paris Pt. 1, SOHO Pt. 3|4

FlirtyGhoul: Minimart Pt. 1-11

GUA: Air Conditioners

Hamstebelle: Cyberpunk Food Stall (Simlish)

Hanraja: S015 (Shelf Gass Deep), S037 (Dining Sit Booth + Sit Dining 2)

Harrie: Brownstone Pt., Coastal Pt. 5|7, Klean Pt. 1|2|3, Octave Pt. 2, Spoons Pt. 1

HeyBrine: Jessie Livin’ Pack Pt.1, Le Bistro Pack (Tables), Nana’s Collection (Microwave), Noova Collection

House of Harlix: Kichen (Glasses), Livin’ Rum (Frame Tvs), Orjanic Pt. 2

JoyceIsFox: Summer Garden – Tiles Pack (Purity#1 Floor + Wall Tiles)

KiwiSims4: Blockhouse Hallway (Small Lamp)

Kta: Vogue Prints 1 (10s-20s) [Mesh Needed]

Lijoue: A Louer Collection (Fence)

LilacCreative: Keratin Collection

Lili’s Palace: Intarsia Wainscot Wonderland (Polished Marble Floor)

LittleDica: Deligracy Fridge, Roman Holiday

Max20: Happily Ever After (Dining Table Knot)

MintyJinx: Terrain to Floor Collection

Myshunosun: Lottie (Throw Blanket)

Nempne: Cover Sheet Ceiling Tiles

Peacemaker: Hinterlands Living Room (Pouffe), Hudson Bathroom, Vampire Add Ons

Pierisim: Auntie Vera Bathroom, Coldbrew Coffeeshop Pt. 3, Domaine Du Clos Pt. 2|3|4, MCM Pt. 1|4|5, Outside Lunch, Tilable

Ravasheen: CounterFit Mini Fridge, Elevator, Shop Chef

Severinka: Apollo Sofa (Right), Grocery Store Pt. 1|2|4

Simspiration Builds: Portuguese Floors

SixamCC: Hotel Bedroom

Sooky88: Horizontal Oil Paintings

Sundays: Kediri Pt. 1 (Throw Pillows- Solids), Pool Haus, Swell Pt. 1, Ungasan Pt. 2 (Slippers)

Syboubou: Hotel Luggage Trolley

TaurusDesign: Eliza Walk In, Judith Kitchen (Barstool), Lilith Chilling Areas Pt. 1

Tuds: Base Game Curved Windows, Beam Kitchen (Table 1x2), Ind 02|03, Vime Closet

Winner9: Malibu Pillow

Vehicles: Included

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[gabessquishytum]

Morpheus "Dream" Endless used to be one of the top pole dancers in the city; he worked his way up from seedy clubs (where he had to supplement his income with private "dances" with less select clientele) to the most premier gentleman's establishments in the city where his extra "attention" was tipped and gifted at a proper worshipful rate.

Morpheus was able to use his earnings to get out of the business himself, and open a classy co-ed club that paid dancers well enough that if they didn’t want to work private engagements or outside of dancing, they didn’t have to.

In the beginning, Morpheus was able to convince his brick sh*thouse of a brother to bounce for the club, so the place got a reputation for taking care of it's staff with extreme aggressiveness - Ollie is always happy to help when he was in town; now that things have settled down he gets to make appreciative eyes at the dancers and maybe get friendly with any who are interested (what Ollie's cute!)

To make sure the club is seen as welcoming and open to its community, Dream hosts a pole dancing class series for all adult-aged people who pay to take the classes. All the club's dancers can be on the class teaching rotation, if they want, but the real draw is when Morpheus teaches the class series, 2 or 3 times a year. Word got out (book club, twitter, a TikTok or two) that when "Dream" teaches the class, it's even better than normal.

Hob is not a great dancer, generally, but he's always game to get out on the floor. His boyfriend got him pole dancing lessons for Valentine's Day/their anniversary. Now this didn't really seem, to Hob, like a gift to & for him, it seemed more like a passive aggressive "you need to be less vanilla in the bed room gift" (when to Hob's mind he would be less "vanilla" if he trusted the ass more ~ it's probably time to breakup).

So Hob's ex-boyfriend got him pole dancing lessons and Hob is never one to turn down a gift; he is able to get into the next series of classes as someone canceled just as he was calling in the see if there was space for him. His instructor is a Dream E. (Hob had a chuckle; one must make ones own fun.)

Dream does actually like teaching college kids and housewives how to dance on the pole - for them it's not some fraught thing about livelihoods and next meals, it is just fun.

The class got even better when a cute but terribly uncoordinated man joined the class. He was not good at pole dancing at all, but he had a great attitude, was flirty and so very cute! And the yoga pants that Hob wore to the class hugged a fantastic ass. Dream might have to give him some private lessons.

Akajshdhaha yes!!!!!! I love it. Clumsy Hob and dancer Dream!!!

Hob’s first revelation of the class is that the poles apparently spin around??? He's not sure how he never worked that out before, but he's a little less worried now. At least he has the advantage of body weight, to give him some momentum when he swings around...? That's what Dream says, anyway, but Hob thinks he's just trying to be nice.

Even so, he tries his best! He focuses in the warm-ups, tries so hard to memorise each movement, and even practices a bit at home (without the pole). Hob really wants to be good at it! He wants Dream to be impressed, he wants compliments, hell he just wants Dream to look at him... unfortunately it seems like Dream only looks when Hob is flat on his ass. Or stuck, wrapped around the pole in a very awkward position, needing to be retrieved by both Dream and the assistant teacher. So embarrassing.

Hob is just starting to think that maybe his ex has a point. When Dream smiles and sits down beside him, and tells him that its not all about getting everything right. It's about having fun. He thinks that Hob is way too hard on himself. He's so nice and encouraging to all the other students, maybe he should try being nice to himself?

Hob grins and helplessly kisses Dream on the cheek, before jumping up to give it another try. He's going to have fun! And yes, he can feel Dream’s eyes on his ass as he walks away.

Several months later, Hob sees the pole in Dream’s bedroom for the first time... and gets his first private show. Dream is still a flawless dancer, and he's an even better lover. And while it's probably best not to mention Hob’s dancing, he certainly knows how to use his body to make Dream cum again and again. Poor Ollie has to put on his noise cancelling headphones.

It's ironic that Hob ended up being Dream’s best student. But there are so skills, you really just can't teach. Hehe.

[nerd-fandom-drabbles]

Paper Trail

Description: Lucanis wrestles with the possibility of betrayal as he delves into the mysteries surrounding his capture and subsequent disappearance. With Rook by his side, they piece together what few clues they have.

2461 Words

Characters: Lucanis Dellamorte and femme, elven Rook

Pairings: Lucanis x Rook, hint of potential Teia x Viago

Genre: Mystery???? Hurt and comfort.

Content Warnings: I'd rate this T for teen. Mostly for a few dirty words in English and Spanish and some adult themes. Adult themes: mentions of violence, betrayal, suspicion, sex. Spite being less of a physical gremlin and more of a voice in Lucanis's mind.

WARNING: Spoilers for all released Dragon Age: The Veilguard gameplay footage as of 10/26/24, The Wigmaker Job, and Eight Little Talons. Not necessary to have read the Tevinter Nights stories, though. I probably over-exposit for clarity.

Note: Probably will be OOC once the game comes out. Story details will probably be totally wrong, too.

Note 2: This is a part 1 of ???? If anyone actually reads it I might feel cute and write more.

Lucanis Dellamorte was tiring of sifting through papers. Although normally he was happy to compile and review intelligence dossiers or post-op status reports, today, he faced another beast entirely.

He sat at an old oak desk in Emmrich's library facing off against a tall stack of envelopes, the newest of which were freshly delivered. The twine bindings and wax seals all broken, their contents had been dumped out and arranged in some vague groupings for analysis. He had read through them all at least once already, but felt like he was missing something obvious. Exhaustion aside, he wasn't ready to stop digging for clues just yet.

He let out a big sigh.

His positioning in the room wasn't ideal and he knew he struggled to concentrate because of it. He would have preferred to be sitting with his back to a wall, as would be usual for him, but that wasn't currently possible due to the layout of Emmrich's furniture. It was already kind enough of Emmrich to let him use his space without a condition of said use being a complete reorganization of the room. So, he was instead situated as close to the door as he could be, relying on the sounds of footsteps, gait recognition, and the wide oak door's creaks to give away any potential intruders.

As a result, when he heard those familiar, soft-heeled footsteps make their way to the door, he already knew what to expect. Still, she opened the door ever-so-slowly and crossed the room quietly, maybe on tip-toes. Probably trying to surprise him.

“Boo!” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek, “Did I get you?”

“Ah, yes, mi amor.” He responded flatly, and softly stroked her arm, “You got me.”

“Lies,” she whispered in his ear, “What are you up to?”

“Tying together loose ends... or trying to, anyway.”

“Loose ends?” she asked and pulled away from him. He instantly missed her warmth.

She leaned against the desk now, pawing at his papers inquisitively.

“Old ship records. You're looking for details of your capture?”

“You know the one,” He leaned back in his chair, and met her eyes, now giving her his full attention.

And indeed she did. A year before they had met, Lucanis had been the target of a devastating kidnapping plot on his return voyage to Antiva from Tevinter. Venatori had surrounded and overrun his vessel, and with nowhere to escape, he was captured. He had spent nearly a year in their custody, subject to endless torture and experimentation in retaliation for the assassinations that earned him his moniker: “The Demon of Vyrantium.”

By the time Rook and Neve found him in his underwater prison, he had been saddled with more than a few extra demons of his own. One of them more literal than any of them could have expected.

She swallowed, “Hmm.”

“Months ago, when we were in Vyrantium looking for Zara, I went seeking the manifest of my ship from that night.”

“Alone? I would have come with you.”

“I... didn't entirely trust you yet.”

She wasn't hurt by this. Knowing everything he had been through, his caution was more than warranted. Still, she wished she could have joined him.

“Anyway, with the ship's captain having been killed in the attack, I went to the local port authority and asked for a copy of any documents. They said the ship I was on was with an independent trading company, and they'd inquire to the local merchant's guild.”

“And it took this long for them to get back to you?”

“It seems that particular ship had an incomplete record. It took months of back and forth between the three of us to confirm that some parts of the manifest simply did not exist.”

“Convenient.”

He shot her a knowing look of agreement. He gestured to the mountain of papers and envelopes on his desk, “This is the result of those exchanges.”

Her heart skipped a beat as his glance returned to her. The quiet intensity in his eyes never ceased to strike her.

“I've been scouring for clues, but... nothing stands out,” he said, rubbing his beard and leaning over his papers, “Any thoroughly incriminating evidence must have been among the redactions.”

“Still, there might be something they missed. Even a fake name or suspicious piece of cargo might be of interest to us,” Rook replied, and when Lucanis nodded, she then continued, “Have you shared this with Neve, yet? Following this sort of paper trail is her bread and butter.”

“Ah no, not yet,” Lucanis swallowed, “I wanted to reach a conclusion on my own before getting a second opinion.”

Rook sighed. She knew the real reason was that he was still sorting out who among the Veilguard he could trust. She had earned his good opinion through ceaseless dedication, honesty, and an uncanny ability to help him through his arguments with Spite. The hot, soul-bearing sex had probably helped, as well. The others on the Veilguard team, however, had presumably not been so lucky.

“Well, there is one thing. Something I expected to see that, conspicuously, wasn't there.”

“What?”

“I don't want to say. Not yet. Not until I'm sure.”

She sighed. This was a lot. “You know, your grandmother suspected that you were betrayed. By an ally.”

He stared blankly, “She said that? To you? When?”

“When Neve and I first met with Crows regarding your whereabouts. Before we met.” Rook fiddled with one of the pens on his desk, “She said it was why she didn't tell anyone about the fake body at your wake. She didn't know who to trust.”

“Mi amor. That is an important detail,” His forehead creased with frustration and he rubbed his furrowed brow, “Why didn't you mention it earlier?”

“I planned to tell you eventually, but I knew the rest of the Crows were looking into it and would report to you if they found anything. Besides, I didn’t want to add to your worries if there wasn’t anything you could do in the meantime.” She shook her head, “You had enough on your plate.”

“That is for me to decide, Rook. I know you were trying to protect me. But that was for me to decide.”

“I'm sorry. I... should have told you sooner.”

“I'm a big boy. Don't leave me in the dark.”

He could feel Spite weaving a sickly web in the back of his mind. She hides. She lies. And you think she loves you? He fought against the thoughts, knowing Spite's only interest was in isolating him further.

He met her pleading eyes and sighed; he was utterly unable to stay angry at her. “That changes things. She may have kept records of her thoughts on the matter somewhere... But where?”

The obvious place to look would be their ancestral home, however, this was Caterina they were talking about. She had kept a million secrets, and probably had a million different places to stash them. Plus, if Caterina had been correct, and the traitor was a close ally, it's possible they may have already been beaten to the punch, with any evidence destroyed or altered... But even if so, it was another lead.

He wondered briefly if she might have kept a safety deposit box in a bank vault somewhere. As next of kin, he would be able to get his hands on it, but anyone else would likely have more trouble. Anyone else except...

He thought for a moment, and then asked, “Who else knows about that little tidbit?”

“Uh, just those of us who were in the room, I assume.” She counted on her fingers, “Teia, Viago, Neve, and your cousin.”

“Illario?” He paled and she nodded, “Shit.”

“Why, what's wrong?” She paused in her tracks, blood running cool in her veins, “You suspect him.”

“He was supposed to be on that ship with me, but ran off on a 'job' last minute. If he bought a ticket, his name would have been on the manifest next to mine, but it wasn't. The page was ripped out.” He growled, “I know. Convenient.”

“Your own cousin? Luca, but why would he-?” She stopped, her mouth becoming dry, “Oh.”

“Oh?”

More secrets. Spite hissed.

“I've been... spending some casual friend time with Teia.”

He raised an eyebrow. This was news to him. Not good or bad. Just... news.

“What? She's fun! And I think when she and Viago finally hook up, they'll be great for double dates.”

He cracked the slightest hint of a smile. He actually liked that idea, even if the chances were slim. Those two were utterly hopeless.

“Anyway, she told me about your rivalry.”

“Rivalry? What rivalry? There is no rivalry.” At least, no more than any other set of boy-cousins around a similar age.

“She also told me you'd say that,” she chuckled dryly, “That Illario was always comparing himself to you but you always brushed it off.”

“What? No, that's a misreading of the situation,” he shook his head, “No, I was just older, and so he followed me around like a puppy.”

“Vhenan, I love you. But you are literally brushing it off right now,” he let out an annoyed little groan, and she continued, “You were Caterina's favorite. Everyone thinks you should be the heir. He's barely even a contender. He's jealous.”

He blinked. He had considered Illario a suspect, but hadn't been able to pin down a compelling motive. There had been conflicts in their past, over everything from jobs to girls, sure, but enough to collaborate with their enemies to take down family?

And jealousy? What even was a little jealousy among relatives, anyway? He was jealous of Illario's even bronze skin, ease with women, and ceaseless, grating charm, but he would never wish him harm over it. They were different, yes, but that was what made their friendship work.

Still, he was pulled back to the Wigmaker job. That entire night, Illario had seemed preoccupied with the possibility that Lucanis would be selected by Caterina to take on the role of First Talon in her stead. In fact, Illario had asked on one - no - two separate occasions, what Lucanis would do if she tapped him. In response, Lucanis had been honest and told him that he had no desire for the role, and would prefer Illario have it for himself. But he'd also been honest that Caterina could force him into it if she wanted to, and that they would need a plan to convince her to name Illario instead. And at the time, Lucanis had assumed that was enough to sate him.

But maybe he'd gotten impatient. Maybe he was more ambitious than Lucanis had given him credit for? Maybe he wanted his dear cousin out of the picture entirely?

Fuck off, Spite. I feel you in there. The entity merely cackled and retreated to the deeper parts of his sub-conscious, done stoking his fire, for now.

Truthfully, Illario was only a somewhat skilled stealth infiltrator, but he certainly had enough skill to break into a lightly-guarded private shipyard and alter the records unseen. If the Venatori had reached out to him and made him an offer... maybe let him in on the plan to get rid of their Demon problem...

The simmering in Lucanis's blood turned to a boil. That made motive, means, and opportunity. He gripped the armrests of his chair so hard he thought they might break. After a few tense moments, he bit his thumb and muttered under his breath, “Ay, ese mierdito. Imbécil. ¡Bastardo, coño!” He clenched his fist.

The air in the library was thick with silence. It wasn't a huge outburst; he'd hardly moved, but still, Rook was surprised. She didn't have to speak Antivan to know that he was angrier than she'd ever seen him. This was highly unusual, to say the least, and she wasn't sure what to do. It was far more common for her to have to pry his feelings out of him, or ply him with alcohol or affection to get him to emote at all. And even then, even with Spite's chiding haunting his waking thoughts, she'd never seen him so volatile. And yes, the circumstances were dire, but there were still so many unknowns.

“Luca, please. We don't know it was him.” She firmly placed her hand on the table and leaned towards him, “Besides, doesn't this all feel a little too easy? Anyone – anyone – could have requested copies of these documents. They're public record. Whoever did this knew we would get them eventually.”

“So?”

“So... The page was removed. His name might have been on it, but we can't know now. This could all be a frame job to tear you two apart when you need each other.”

He blinked hard, breathing heavy, slowly coming down from his rage.

“You're right. You're right. Thank you.” He took her hand and gave it a little kiss, “I'm sorry I-”

“We need more information,” she interrupted his apology. It wasn't necessary. Not from him. Not now. His rage, though perhaps momentarily misdirected, was perfectly valid in her eyes. And she knew that when the time was right, it would be useful.

He gave her hand a little rub with his thumb and then let it go. He took a deep breath. He fastened the nearest group of papers with a paper clip and set them down on the desk in a neat stack. He took another deep breath, firmly gripping the desk's edge. He needed to set aside his feelings and think clearly. Think. After a moment, he looked up at her.

“Let's set up a meeting with Teia and Viago. You, me and Neve. If we meet at Caterina's, we can kill two birds with one stone: go through her effects to see if we can dig up anything, and get a status report on anything they've uncovered through their investigations.”

“That's a good plan, Luca.”

He nodded. To anyone else, his expression might look neutral, but Rook knew him well enough by now to see the distress clearly on his face. Something about where he held his tension, probably. To be surrounded by so many enemies, and not know who to trust? Her heart sank for him. No wonder it had taken so long for him to open up to her.

“I hate seeing you like this, vhenan.” She reached out and placed a tender hand on his jaw. “Come.”

She pulled him into a warm embrace, and he melted into her, nuzzling into her neck as she snaked her arms around to stroke his hair and lower back.

“We will find who did this. I promise you."