#Emotional Damage

[griffin-ktb]

[jennydolfen]

I was holding it together until Matt and Liam started crying.

[park-bench-poet]

Succession makes me nuts because all of the tragedy is preventable but also it isn't. Usually, in big epics, the tragedy is that fate is inescapable. But in Succession there are a million tiny times where someone could have chosen to treat their siblings better or their spouse better or stuck to their guns or been honest or stopped being an asshole for two minutes, and it would have completely changed the trajectory of events. But also how could they have ever done any of it differently? Who taught them they could?

[thebibliosphere]

In case you were wondering how deep down the Batfam fixation hole I am, it's something I've actually been talking about in therapy a lot.

Not like, in a worried way, more just when my therapist asks me what I'm doing in my downtime, my answer always used to be either "sleeping" or "I don't have downtime. I have too much work to do."

Now my answer is "playing my Batman game" or "watching Batman show/reading comics/writing unhinged Batman x Muppet fanfic."

And my therapist is delighted. She's fucking ecstatic. She's like, "You have interests again!" and I'm like !!!! Because here's the thing.

Almost dying in 2019 kinda irrevocably fucked up my brain, like, a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And I've been grieving over that for the last few years as well as recovering from the physical aspects of it. And to cope with it, I threw myself into work even though I wasn't physically or mentally well enough, and that made everything worse, and well, if you've been here, you know.

My brain has not been kind to me for a long time. It still isn't. But I do the work. I do multiple types of therapy a week. I piece myself back together on the daily and try to remember what it means to be human and not just this numb static void that sometimes sounds like shrieking if you listen too closely.

And then randomly, a few months ago a friend bought me Gotham Knights on Steam, and it was like a light turned back on. The engine that'd been refusing to turn over for years suddenly sputtered back to life, and something in my brain went, "Hey, I remember this... this is fun?"

And then I started tentatively searching the tags here on Tumblr, and yeah, actually. I remember this. I remember enjoying this. I can dip my toes into this. This is safe. This is a childhood interest from Before the almost-dying-trauma. And besides, it won't get in the way of my work. This isn't going to consume me. Nothing consumes me like it used to. I'm too broken for that.

Except, haha, jokes on me because, for some fucking reason, Brucie fucking Wayne and his gaggle of chaotic crime-fighting children is what reached into my brain, picked up my trauma, and started shaking it loose like a category 7 earthquake.

I actually laughed about that with my therapist a few weeks ago. Of all characters, of all pieces of media, it's Batman that's helping me process a significant chunk of my emotional trauma in a healthy way.

The most emotionally constipated vigilante in superhero existence, and I'm weeping like a child every time I get an achievement in Gotham Knights, and it says some bullshit like this:

ID: a purple steam achievement icon that says: He'd Be So Proud Of You. Reach the maximum level as any member of the Batman Family. 6.3% of players have this achievement. /end ID.

(for context, Batman is dead in this game, and you are playing as his emotionally devastated children trying to keep it together. Wailing, gnashing, crying, throwing up etc, etc.)

And my therapist, who has sat with me through EMDR sessions and a multitude of other shit designed to rewire your brain, just shrugs and says, "Sometimes we need to externalize our emotions through safe media. For you, right now, that safety is Batman having a relationship with the Muppets."

And like... okay, yeah. I'll take the win on that one.

[mandimagic]

THUNDER SAGA

Well. I've been thunderstruck with all the emotional damage for tonight... XD

[emmanuel-the-manual]

He’s never made a casserole before :[

[reiners-milkbiddies]

HARU THEY CAN NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU

ME RN 😭😭😭

— BLACK LICORICE

SUMMARY: flashing back to where sanzu had gave you an orgasm, love and a broken heart

TW. fem!reader, cursing, fingering, angsty

WC. 897

AN. this is the first installment of my writing series, i’ve never wrote one before so hey, enjoy <3

SERIES MASTERLIST

CHAPTER ONE — SALTY TAFFY 

[5 YEARS EARLIER]

“you didn’t show up to graduation haru” you mention sitting down beside your boyfriend and knocking the candy he has from his hands.

sanzu disregards your attempts to annoy him by grabbing another piece of taffy and popping it in his mouth, he ignores you again, looking out into the distance of the bustling city echoing noises of a forever life—the sweetness dissolves around his tongue.

the rooftop was where you’d met sanzu, nothing more than a sheltered child you were and discovering a tattered boy standing atop the edge, he looked invincible—sanzu could fall down the three story building and god himself would throw him back to earth.

sanzu turns to you, pulling you from a distant memory, long lashes fluttering close with a sly grin “what’re you going to do now that you’re legally smart?” he snorts when you softly hit his shoulder, sanzu erupts into another laugh but he’s nervous, he knows what he wants to do and what you’re about to tell him don’t line up.

“i’m going to college” you avoid his searing gaze, staring off to watch the sun dipping down into the clouds, orange slices radiate the sky as sanzu inches closer—the silence is like a ticking time bomb, you want to ignore the way he’s trailing his fingers up your skirt, lips attaching to your neck, you want to forget what will happen in the upcoming weeks and you pray to a god it doesn’t ruin what you have with sanzu.

“you don’t need to do that” sanzu pulls your shirt down to expose more of you, his lips sucking on the skin and fingers growing agonizingly close between your legs.

“w-what do you mean?” you question, shakily ripping your voice from your throat, lungs being flooded by pleasure as sanzu slips past the sheen fabric and slowly teasing your folds “you could be my housewife” he presses his finger through your slit, curling through till he’s met with your spongy walls “i do the gang shit, get money and come home to a pretty wife.”

“easier said than done” your voice is quiet now, sanzu attempts to block off this conversation and focus on something—anything besides the cold hard truth.

“it took me barely five minutes to be inside you, i think i can manage” sanzu motions his other hand to look at him, his orbs flickering waves of violets “if i have you, i can do anything.”

a dark swell tugs at your heart, looking up at sanzu—tears rimming your eyes and he thinks it’s the pleasure overflowing but really, it just hurts so fucking bad; to know reality is tasted sour on your tongue.

your hand cards through his hair, pushing him into your mouth while sanzu pumps his fingers inside you, he groans into the kiss feeling your walls clamp down on him and like another day spent on this ledge your voice carrying on with the wind, moans catching with the air into the abyss.

“every day i could do this, come home to you—take you to those expensive restaurants you always wanna go to, fuck you anywhere, especially on every single fuckin’ room of our house” sanzu moans, curling his fingers to find that deep spot that drives you over the edge.

“h-haru— i’m gonna, fuck” you gasp feeling your orgasm near its head, washing through your legs and creaming around his fingers, small whimpers leaving your lips when sanzu teases your senstive clit, he chuckles at your teary eyed expression.

silence draws to an end as he finally stops playing with your fidgeting cunt, releasing an uneasy breath at the short time of tranquility.

sanzu pulls away from you, slinking the hand to his side he lays his head down on your shoulder, kicking his feet to the pace of his heart “what’re you going to do?” you question, sanzu exhales a shaky breath—it hurts, he doesn’t understand why it hurts so fucking bad, “same ole shit i’ve been doing, you know that.”

“right” your voice croaks in your throat, tears rolling down your cheeks, sanzu rises to his feet bouncing from the ledge and towards the exit or more importantly just out of this pain.

“we can—we can still be together, i’ll see you as much as i can haru, i’ll come every wee—”

“stop” sanzu interrupts, turning to watch you crawl from the ledge and walk closer to him, a weak hand tugging at his sleeves, he looks down at you darkness replacing his eyes “if i can’t have you here, i don’t want you.”

a sob chokes from your throat at his words, it burns—a fire clawing at your throat, vision so blurred from the tears tainting your sight of someone you’ve loved, had given everything to is just shutting it all away in a five minute gap.

sanzu cups your face, pulling you into a kiss, his lips move slow, fingers rubbing the wetness away as he depends the kiss and it feels like time has froze and if anything you’d wish it was always like this but fuck, nothing works this way.

“this is goodbye princess, be good for me” he whispers, pulling away and without another word sanzu walks out of your life.

and all you can stomach is agony and the salty taste of his taffy lingering on your lips.

tagging— @wakasagurl @sanzudopeamine

[caemidraws]

[Memories]

[lesbian-thesbian]

the final battle - orestes & pylades

🎥 @medium-observation

[dankodoodles]

*crashes face-first into my phone to read the last chapter of Firefight*

I have never drawn something SO FAST in response to something as amazing as the Firefight fic

In all seriousness @remedyturtles, you have given me emotional damage to the best degree :,D thank you for the beautiful ending (no spoilers)

-

I'm just putting this out there (I'm not exactly great at explanations, but hear me out) - the last chapter in Leo's POV really made it come full circle. Without spoiling things, I kinda resonated with him? I mean, ha, I wasn't beat around by a blood-thirsty, pink bubblegum warlord and came out with insane amounts of trauma... But with how he struggled and verbalised it as not being sure how to ask for help and was internally conflicted on how and why he deserves help?? Yeah, that got me in the feels badly.

Personally, reading these types of fics can be triggering for me, but I pushed through because of how GOOD this story is. All I can say is thank you again Rem. For creating and sharing with us an amazing AU and fic!

[griffin-ktb]

Their pages in the Book of Bill make me physically ill I can’t 😭🙏

[tiya-minuscule]

Anime AU lezgoooo !! If I had infinite time and budget I just wanted to do a quick animation to practice emotions and perspective... So I addapted a scene in the first chapter of my AU when Clark found Hershel losing it ! Hope you like this little sad Clark :)

[reiners-milkbiddies]

📈📉📈📉

Me reading this

— BLACK LICORICE

SUMMARY: sanzu is learning the hard, painful way of his mistakes

TW: fem!reader, cursing, mentions of vomit (hangover sanzu) f!oral, praise, dirty talk, mentions of sex talk, mentions of drinking

WC: 2.3k

AN: i appreciate all of the sweet comments, reblogs and likes from this series, i really enjoy writing this every week

SERIES MASTERLIST

CHAPTER FIVE — RAZOR BLADE GUMMY BEARS

[PRESENT TIMELINE]

sanzu’s head is throbbing to the beat of his aching heart, throat dry while he heaves over the ceramic toilet, turquoise pupils at the brink of bulging out of the sockets every time he vomits.

“you think you could do that a little quieter?” mikey asks, propped up on the bathroom sink, chopping on a sweet pastry “it’s kinda gross.”

“why are you even here then?” sanzu wipes the spit from his lips, dragging his eyes up to mikey. sanzu feels like utter shit—rosey strands sticking to his cheeks, his suit from last night still hanging loosely on his body.

“moral support” he replies, popping the last crumb in his mouth “why are you trying so hard when you left in the first place, you act like you still like her” mikey turns to sanzu, looking over his disheveled face.

“love” he corrects him, “why do i still love her? is what you need to ask” sanzu picks himself off the floor, gathering strength to stand up and wobbling like a newborn doe once he stands.

“so this is love” rindou interrupts, murmuring as he makes his way into the bathroom blocking sanzu, mikey looks over rindou noticing the bold larger figure that’s usually at his hip missing.

“where’s ran?” mikey questions, scanning over rindou covered in blood tracking it everywhere, “left last night with someone” he pushes past sanzu and starts stripping his attire.

“will he be back before the meeting?” mikey lifts himself off the sink, slinking behind sanzu, rindou chuckles “sanzu, how long does it take to get from your ex’s house to here?” rindou snickers again when sanzu lets out a low groan.

[PRESENT TIMELINE]

“oh god..”

your murmur slices through the harmonious air, sunbeams finding their way to you through the sheer curtains, a soft breath crawls to your cheeks—a warmth lays softly beside you.

“you did say that a lot last night” ran smirks, lids still closed but his lazy grin soaks through his mellow face, “did we—did we actually?” you squeak, tensing up when he brings his hand up to your face.

“no, unfortunately” ran shuffles closer in the bed, circling a soft pad on your warm cheek “you cried about sanzu all night, as i held you” ran whispers, smiling when you deadpan back to him.

“that’s so disgusting” you pull away from his hand, putting a palm on your forehead and lightly tapping it “i’m sorry i probably ruined everything with my emotional breakdown” you sigh, a laugh rumbling from ran’s chest.

“you didn’t, plus—” ran rolls over, climbing on top of you, caging your body under the mattress, the sounds of the covers shuffling as he leans down, “but when i do ruin you, you’ll be completely sober” ran brushes his lips across the shell of your ear “and you won’t even remember who sanzu is.”

he leans completely down, pressing his lips on his fingers then popping them on yours on “get dressed and let me take you out for lunch pretty girl” ran lifts himself off of you, he slides his body off the sheets—bare feet hitting the floor.

you notice the tattoo carved on his back, muscles rolling when he slips on his white collar shirt “like what you see?” he questions, turning around as he buttons the shirt up, slipping on his vest “i’ve never seen a tattoo like that” you mumble, feeling the warmth invade your cheeks.

“imagine seeing it every night, or feeling it under your nails as i fuck you” ran straightens his shoulders as his fingers fumble with his tie. he turns to you cocking his head to the side “just a thought i’d leave you with, i’ll wait in the living room for you and remember love, daddy doesn’t like to wait too long.”

the door closes behind him and you collapse your face into your hands, a deep sigh strangled from your lungs “what have i got myself into” you question out loud and you wonder—though you shouldn’t, how sanzu is doing.

[5 YEARS AGO]

you expected the tap on your window late in the night, sanzu vigorously ramming his finger against the glass till you finally yank the sill open.

what you didn’t expect was a bloody mess he was when sanzu face peered through the window, bruises and cuts splattered him—pale eyes met with your own “what happened?” you asked with a shaky breath, watching red drip from his cuts, “big fight” he utters, sitting down on the bed and sighing, looking back at you with sadness riddled in his orbs.

you walk to the bathroom grabbing a towel and striding back to your bed, sanzu lays on the bed now an arm thrown over his face while his chest rises faster still catching his breath “you always come over here when you’re beat up.” the mattress dips when you sit beside him, towel coming up to his face padding over the cut dug deep in his cheek.

“i came over to see you angel” sanzu whispers, wincing as you swipe over the blood, “always miss you the most when i’m hurting” he reaches his hand up to touch your face, “you shouldn’t fight so much” you lean into his touch, and sanzu sighs “i know.”

“mikey is thinking about puttin’ a gang together, make me number two” sanzu looks at you through his lashes, slowly leaning up so he can be level with you “more money we bring in, the better i can treat you then those shitty fast food dates i take you to now.”

“but i like those dates” you protest, lips forming a pout at sanzu “because they’re with you” you murmur and sanzu softens “do you know why i love you so much?” he asks, grabbing your cheeks and puckering your lips out “no” a mumble of words answer his question.

“because you love me for how i am even if i don’t love myself” he presses his lips on yours, releasing his hold and crashing his lips against your own as he presses your body against the bed, his hands already roaming for access to bare skin.

“haru” your voice left a breathless gasp, “you take care of me, let me return the favor” he whispers through your lips, mouth ghosting past your face and to your neck, he hooks his fingers on your shorts easily pushing them down and hand cupping your pussy.

“never done this” you whisper, knowing what hints he’s subjecting when sanzu crawls lower, his bruised covered hands spread your thighs open.

“been takin’ all your first—you really are just mine” he flashes his eyes, fingers gripping at the plush in your thighs, and you watch in wonder as sanzu keeps his eyes glued to you while he slides his tongue out and drags it through your folds.

sanzu hair curtains around your thighs, pulling a hand up to brush the strands behind his ear as he continues swirling his tongue around your clit, fingers finding your clenching hole and curling against your walls.

sanzu is in agony, the brute force of someone’s fist probably broke a rib, the throbbing pain pulsates through his lungs, his head throbs from the amount of hits he’s took from a fist that felt like stone—one of his eyes clouds clear vision and he probably won’t be able to see for at least a week but right now—this is about you.

he’s drunk in harsh reality of the pain he installs, addicted on your taste, the small mewls exploring from your mouth and your legs shivering to his long laps through your cunt, the pain dissolves away while your back arches off the bed, his name left in remembrance of how good he’s making you feel.

so caught up on his tongue skimming across your sensitive bundle of nerves, fingers mindlessly pumping into your hole that sanzu doesn’t even realize you’ve came on his tongue until the juices drip from his chin, slurping and sucking up everything from you and he swallows, deep gulps.

“how was that pretty?” he questions, a sly smirk bleeding through his lips when your eyes circle darkness, pupils blown to the extreme and a haze set on your face, “g-good, really good” you finally stammer out, whimpering when sanzu just toys with your puffy clit. he lays his head on your thigh, searching for your fingers and intertwining them with his own.

“i love you” he sighs, squeezing tighter amongst your digits, the pain crawling back into his body as the rush of pleasuring you wears off, sanzu moves higher till his head rests on your stomach.

“the future scares me” you say out loud, looking up at the ceiling, sanzu squeezes even harder at your words, “don’t be scared angel, i’ll always be here” sanzu feels sleep invading his mind, he thinks of the future.

and how the future holds him and you, and sanzu fears nothing as he has it all planned out—you and him, his plans of joining a bigger gang, building a life with you, being with you.

but little did sanzu know he’s like a house in a hurricane—gone; and just like that horrific storm, sanzu departs, destroying everything in his path.

so who really could blame you—when you sought out shelter somewhere else?

[PRESENT TIMELINE]

“i wanna play a game” rindou proposes, glancing around the wooden table, taking his sight on every bonten member till he lands his eyes on his brother “ran?”

“what kind of game?” kokonoi interrupts, pen tapping against the wood, ran laughs when he remembers the game rindou is talking about—a drinking game.

“gonna go round the table and you tell me your craziest sex story” rindou grins, standing up to grab glasses and a bottle of whiskey. “tell me a story and i’ll judge if it’s good or not—or pass and drink” rindou pours the drinks, handing them to each member, leaving one for mikey whenever he decides to come back.

“this is dumb” sanzu huffs, laying his chin on the table “awh sanzu, don’t be like that we can start by the time we made out under the mistletoe” ran teases, fluttering his lashes towards sanzu . “oh i remember that” rindou chimes in, “it was a one time thing because i was vulnerable and lonely” sanzu mumbles, avoiding the other members seizing their eyes at him.

“drink ran, that was boring” rindou points his finger to his brother, kokonoi clears his throat “one time i was going down on someone and i thought what the hell so i stick my finger up their ass and i got a concussion.”

rindou lays his chin on his hands, brain churning “that’s pretty funny, akashi you’re next” the members look over at him, his hand cards through his hair “i’m too old for this” he rolls his eyes, chugging the drink. ran snickers “i was with this person one time and i was trying to be romantic so i picked them up bridal style and cracked their head on the door way” rindou laughs before ran is finished, covering his mouth as he laughs harder.

“then they yelled so loud i got scared, dropped them and then i tripped over them” ran throws his head back laughing so hard, rindou snickers and the others laugh but sanzu—he’s just not in the mood.

he can’t stop thinking about what rindou said to him earlier with ran at your place, his head still busting from the hangover—he can’t quite remember what he said to you last night but he knows it wasn’t the intentions he was going for.

“sanzu” a slender voice breaks him from his thoughts “yeah?” he answers, dragging his eyes to the face behind the voice “tell me a story” mikey is smiling, already coming back to the meeting and sitting down beside him, sanzu closes his eyes “rather drink, pass.”

“mikey your turn” rindou claps his hands together, and mikey quirks his eyebrow up “turn for what?” he inquires, rindou sighs “tell me a sex story.”

mikey sits for a moment gathering his thoughts “uh, i don’t really sleep around that much but i remember this person one time” mikey pauses to take a sip of the drink, running his tongue over his lips “have you ever fucked someone and they just make you feel like you’re the only one in the world?” mikey swirls the brown liquid in the glass.

rindou leans in interested, “i’m on top of them fuckin’ them so hard and all of a sudden they bring their hands up to hold me, came right there” he chuckles, slinking back in his seat, rindou deadpans “this is suppose to be funny not romantic—shit now i feel lonely” rindou throws his hands back behind his head, ran looks uninterested and the other members start to slowly rise to their feet.

sanzu sits frozen in his seat, pondering the thought—the mere thought of that feeling he’d had with other people, and he hasn’t until he thinks back to you.

how you’d always hold his face within your hands, tracing small circles on his cheeks while he drove his cock inside you—he felt that same exact way.

but he’s adamant that it’s an impossible thought while he connects the dots, sanzu must be driving himself insane—thinking that you did that with mikey? his best friend, the loyal dog he was to him, there was no fucking way.

and it eats at his brain, devouring every single thought as sanzu pushes himself from the table, quickly averting eyes while he runs to his office, grabbing his phone and dialing your number.

“what?” your words are harsh as soon as you answer, sanzu’s stomach is tied in knots, sweat saturating his forehead, incoherent thoughts muddy with anger.

“did—did you fuck mikey?” he chokes out, gripping at his chest, the silence hurts—why are you being so quiet?

“i did” you finally answer, and sanzu can’t help but cry, tears rolling from his pale cheeks, dripping onto the floor and he doesn’t know what to do, why his world feels like it’s shattering beneath him.

is this what you felt when he left? was this the pain he handed you all those years ago? “w-why?” he whispers, trying to hold the tears from flooding more.

but you don’t answer, and sanzu drops to his knees—phone hitting the ground while his soul shatters, and he wants to be mad, blame everything on you yet how could he when he’s the one that left?

another day sanzu is reminded the trail of destruction he’s left behind, and another moment he has to suffer for his crime.

taglist— @wakasagurl @haruphilia @sz-u @eriskaitto @sunarinluvv @shinichirosupremacy @harunoia @chronic-claire-universe @miyuuuuuposts @hanmasgf @haitanihime @rinzis @thee-satoru @somniari-94 @materiaheart @downbadfor2dmen @wack0-genius @senpaisukiyami @kuromochimi

[undead-knick-knack]

How we doin y'all 😭

[flagbridge]

James Gant as The Phantom of the Opera, West End, May 2024

@or-what-you-will, master

[frnchgirls]

okay hear me out because regency!artrick is absolutely bonkers.

you meet art for the first time after your mother notices you spend far too much of your day with your cheek pressed against the glass of your bedroom window, watching the donaldsons play croquet and enjoy afternoon tea as a family in their yard. she tells you it’s rude to spy on your neighbors and that you should be practicing pianoforte or latin instead, but then you’re pouting and expressing your loneliness and she arranges for you to go over the next day.

the moment he introduces himself you are in awe, not only because he’s even more handsome up close but because he’s so kind and he reminds you of the princes you’ve read about in the fairytales you’re forced to study. funny enough, art’s never been fond of the frilly dresses worn by the girls of the ton, but he thinks you look like a princess in yours. soon you’re chasing each other around the lawn and he’s teaching you how to catch bugs with your bare hands and he becomes the friend you’ve always wanted.

things get complicated when art comes tumbling out the back door in his fencing gear. he’s accompanied by a stranger with broad shoulders and dark hair, and you could have sworn the blonde told you he was an only child so who is this? you learn his name is patrick and he’s been art’s best friend for years and speaking of fairytales, pat always looks at you like he’s the big bad wolf and he’s starved. you’re not sure why it makes you squeeze your thighs together under your skirt, but it does, and art doesn’t like it one bit.

when the three of you are on the swings in your garden and you tell them you’re debuting at lady debret’s ball next week, patrick is quick to ask if he can take the first spot on your dance card. you laugh and jokingly oblige, because art had pulled you to the side a few days prior and told you not to take him too seriously, but then when the ball comes around patrick is the first to lock eyes with you and meet you on the floor, and suddenly art’s feeling dizzy. you were his first and so was patrick and is he really losing you both at the same time right now?

he blinks back tears and grips his champagne flute so hard it might shatter in his hand as he watches you two fuckin' grin at each other and it makes him physically ill. patrick's gotten everything he's ever wanted, and he wants to kick himself because things might be different if he had enough balls to just tell you how he felt. art frantically searches the room for a distraction, but little does he know pat's watching him over your shoulder while you dance, wondering when he's gonna catch onto the fact that he's doin' all this just cause he'll never get to marry him.