#Elves stocking thr shrine every month with a vial of testosterone or estrogen pills

[cannibalfogdreams]

Turns on loud speaker

Fuck elves being eternally mournful when their mortal love dies! Fuck elves being eternally moving onto the next spouse!

Give me elves who are 1000 years off from the death of their partners and still are putting food on their grave shrine because "It was on sale and I remember you said 'Never pay full price for cake when Day-Old bakery mark downs exist.'."

Gimme elves who are chronic shopaholics for their loved ones. Putting expensive makeup, jewelry, and material items that their human always stared at through windows all around their home shrine. The home shrine turns into a room of gifts for someone who will never touch them, never be seen wearing them, never thank them. Thats okay. Because this elf is down bad and will be down bad for another eternity! Everyone in the afterlife is going to be so jealous of their mortal's dutiful and cool immortal lover.

Elves building entire temples to their long dead loved ones when the rooms no longer suffice! 3,000 years later where they are seen as the immortal protector of what must have been a glorious and kindly god! For no other shrine created has been so beautiful and full of love!

"Oh! You really shouldn't have gone shopping for a gift! Thats not what this is all about- really! ....Though, if you could find any vintage dress shirts in their shape and size, or make one, we'd be very grateful! This color was their favorite!"

Elves who worship the days of birth and death of their mortal spouse because, if they hadnt been ORDERED not to, they would have worshipped every day their sweetheart was alive!

And of course the same applies to vampires.

The ghosts of these massive, immortal simps's lovers are absolutely rolling over in embarrassment long after theyve become a minor deity through the prayer and worship of 1 elf for 8,000 years and their accumulated following of an entire city's worth of pilgrims, villagers, nobility, hermits, and maybe other elves who recognize the honor they would be bestowing upon this beautiful love.