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cressidagrey · 4 months ago

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Unafraid - The Unexpected Series

Summary:

“If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her.”

What if… Azriel actually takes Rhys at his word? And does exactly what his High Lord ordered? With unexpected consequences.

This is Azriel following his High Lord's order to the fucking letter (well, kinda.)

Warnings:

Mention of Sex Work, Mention of Faerie Genocide, Sex Work, Bathing

Note:

This was a thought experiment that kinda started to grow a life on its own.

(super pretty divider by @saradika-graphics)

Azriel was having a bad day.��

In a string of bad days. A string of horrible days.

He knew that he wasn’t in the right headspace for this. He knew that he had no business to be here.

And still, he was.

It was the only place where even a monster like him could get something that resembled love, after all.

It wasn’t like anybody else wanted him. Wasn’t like anybody else was interested in him in any other way than…It wasn’t like he deserved better than this.

This was all he deserved and he should just accept it. Accept it and move on and figure out that whenever he had any sort of physical wants…this was where he should go.

“If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her.”

So there he was. Walking down the street to this pleasure hall and…every step was trudging. He wasn’t even sure why he was doing it. Why… Why he didn’t just go home…go to the House of Wind and try to sleep once more…why he didn’t just…

Because he didn’t want to lay down in his empty bed, alone, and close his eyes, and be alone and…

He wished for somebody to touch him like…like he mattered. Like his feelings mattered. Like his feelings were something other than simply an inconvenience for the Court.

He was just supposed to flip the switch and turn them off, right? Elain had chosen Lucien so Azriel should just get over her. He should just move on. And be done.

And he couldn’t. He couldn’t.

He wished he could, but he couldn’t.

And so there he was.

He poured a handful of gold coins on the desk in the front…enough for a whole night. Even if he just stayed an hour, he thought that one of the long-suffering females deserved it for putting up with him.

For letting him put his ruined hands anywhere near her and pretend that she wanted this.

Why was he even doing this again?

Azriel didn’t even know himself anymore.

Still, he followed behind the voluptuous proprietress, a red-headed High Fae named Marge, into the courtyard, filled with all the females that worked there. “Are you searching for anything in particular or…?” she trailed off, asking Azriel as she mustered him.

Searching for his will to live. Though that was probably not the answer she was looking for.

And no, there was no particular sexual act that he wanted, that he was in the mood for. Absolutely nothing that…immediately struck his fancy.

Nothing that…He didn’t even really want sex.

He wanted…

“Any female that’s not afraid of me,” he forced out, his voice like gravel. Companionship. Understanding. Something as close to willing as he could get.

Marge’s dark eyes widened as she took in that particular request. He half expected her to laugh him out of her establishment. If she did, he couldn’t even fault her for that. The coin was worth a try.

And then, to the wordless shock of him…“I’ll take him,” came a quiet voice. His head swivelled around, just as a soft, small hand claimed his.

Blonde, blue-eyed. Beautiful. Gorgeous in fact. Full lips pulled into a bright smile.

“Would you like to come with me, Sweetheart?” she cooed and he managed a shaky nod.

She didn’t even seem to notice the scars that covered his hands. She didn’t seem to care. Everybody noticed. Everybody cared.

But she just…didn’t.

And her smell…it was clear of fear. Utterly unafraid.

Roses. Nothing else.

“You aren’t afraid,�� he choked out as he followed behind her, up the stairs, to a room, that was clearly hers. Soft and cream coloured with heavy drapes and she closed the door behind them with a soft snick.

“Should I be?” she asked him lightly. “You have given me no reason to be afraid of you.”

No. He just existed. Existed with scarred hands and ferocious wings and the shadows that he had sent away for the night and still lurked around…he scared everybody.

“You have done nothing to me that would make me fear you,” she told him calmly, walking over to a commode, filling a glass with the amber liquid from a bottle on top of it and then bringing it to him.

“You may call me Blossom,” she told him. Smart. Not that it was her name…but that he may call her that. “What is your name?”

“Azriel,” he answered. For some cauldron-forsaken reason, he gave her his real name, just as she pushed the glass in his hand and him down onto the edge of her bed so that she could straddle him.

He let her do with him as she wished.

Something about Blossom…something about her made her putty in her hands. Whatever she wanted from him he would probably do it…let himself sink into the pleasure of just this…just the smell of roses and her eyes gently watching him…just this.

“Now, there is a secret you should know about me,” Blossom told him, her voice sweet and soft. He just stared at her, as she shrugged out of the silky dressing gown she wore, leaving her utterly bare to his gaze.

There was no piece of her that wasn’t beautiful. From the upturned tip of her nose to the full swell of her breasts, the dip of her waist, the lush fullness of her hips…

And then suddenly between one blink and the next…she changed.

Not her body. That stayed the same.

An iridescent pair of pink wings sprouted from her back and stretched wide…her hair stopped being ordinarily blonde and turned blush pink…and her ocean blue eyes turned into a colour that he could spend hours describing and still fail horribly.

She had been beautiful before. With that glamour.

But without it…without it…she was breathtaking. So beautiful that she put him on his knees. He could just stare at her, drink her in, his mouth slightly open.

“I have wings just like you,” she told him, a smile on her face and he swallowed.

There was only one type of faerie that had wings like that…A very rare type.

“You’re…a Floresco Faerie?” he asked her, his voice hoarse.

Hunted to near extinction by the Spring Court centuries ago.

And one had seemingly escaped to Velaris.

Her full lips pulled into a smile.

“Guilty as charged,” Blossom answered, lifting his hand that still kept a loose hold of that amber liquid to her lips and took a drink before she lifted it to his own lips.

He took a sip, his eyes still fixed on these beautiful, fluttering wings. So rare. So beautiful.

“Now, Azriel. Why don’t you tell me what you would like tonight and I’ll…” she trailed off as she saw his expression, mustering him for a moment. He would spend the rest of his life wondering what exactly she saw in his eyes that made her take the glass from him, put it on her bedside table and then suggest: “How about a bath?”

Somehow that was the best suggestion he had heard in decades.

Her bathtub was right there, connected to her bedroom, a massive thing that was pure indulgence. Of course, it was. They were in a pleasure hall after all…

She stripped him out of his clothing slowly and then led him into that massive bathtub…the water blood hot and smelled like roses, with plenty of bubbles to go around.

He had never bothered with bubble baths before.

Clearly an oversight.

Just as it was an oversight to have her small, soft hands all over him as she spread soap over his skin.

She didn’t ask, didn’t give him an opportunity to turn her down. Blossom touched him gently with no hesitation. Not even thinking twice about it.

He could have wept with gratitude. Her scent never turned into fear. It stayed the soft scent of roses clinging to every inch of her. Not once did she hesitate to touch his skin, or his scars, or the dark illyrian markings over his arms and chest.

Every muscle of his body grew lax in response, until he was a puddle underneath her touch, just watching her.

Watching this beautiful female and her soft smile.

Blossom washed his hair, fingernails gently scrubbing her scalp and he could have started purring.

Something inside him relaxed. He wasn’t even sure what. But just the feeling of another warm body next to him…of her touch to his body, without hesitation, without fear, without anything…simple touch…

He couldn’t even remember the last time he had that.

Maybe Azriel should have expected it, but still, the moment her hand snaked down his stomach, lower, it took him by surprise.

He caught her hand in his, hand shooting out to wrap around one fragile wrist like a snake.

At least now, her scent should sour into fear. She just held still.

“You don’t want me to touch you?” she asked him, one eyebrow raised.

He really didn’t. Not like this. Not…

“Not like this,” he admitted weakly and her eyes widened.

“Would you like to touch me?” she asked him, cocking her head to the side and he let go of her wrist. When she arched her back just like that, she made the best of every single one of her assets.

And she was beautiful. But Azriel didn’t want that. Not truly.

“No,” he said quietly. “Not like this.”

He just wanted…

Something inside Blossom’s expression seemed to shift to understanding. She didn’t ask, she didn’t push…didn’t try to touch him like that anymore. Instead, her hands shifted to slow languid strokes…gently and…nearly reverently along his chest and arms.

“Would you like a kiss instead?” She asked him softly, soft lips dusting over the shell of his ear.

He hesitated.

That was seemingly all the agreement she needed. Little butterfly kisses were pressed all over his face, against his temple and forehead and the tip of his nose and Azriel trembled underneath her at this.

Kiss after Kiss, her sweet breath and the plush softness of her lips…they pressed to his skin without hesitation, without fear. Like he wasn’t a monster to fear. Like he was just a male in need of comfort.

It was more than he had ever thought he would be able to get that night. Or ever.

Comfort that he didn’t think he deserved and still clung to like a drowning male, because this was all he could have…This was all he was allowed to have.

He lost track of how long she did that…until the water turned cold and both their skin had shrivelled up…until she got him out of that water.

The spell she had seemingly cast over him broke.

This was all he was willing to take from her. All Azriel deserved.

So he got redressed and Blossom watched him, infinite softness in her gaze.

“You know…not a lot of males would pay the amount you do, just for this,” she told him carefully, as he had the doorknob in his hands.

“Not a lot of females are willing to take me on,” he countered quietly, before he opened the door and disappeared through it. Forever. It would be nothing but a stolen interlude.

Or would it?

#the unexpected series #acotar fanfiction #azriel x oc #azriel x reader #my writing #azriel fanfic #azriel fanfiction

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separatist-apologist · 3 years ago

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Lucien Vanserra + The Villain Theory & Why the Mating Bond Is Not Fake

I've been thinking about this for a while and I've decided I want to debunk this because of all the *insert character that is definitely not the villain becoming a secret villain*, Lucien is most definitely not it.

The theory, according to tiktok, is that Lucien is a secret schemer who has tricked everyone, including Elain, into believing they are mates for undefined, suspicious reasons likely related to Koschei. I find this unlikely considering his "father" is ALSO scheming with Koschei and Lucien likely has some awareness of this considering how often Eris is suddenly hanging around.

This is so long. Everything is under the cut.

However, lets pretend he doesn't. There is consistent, contextual proof that Lucien a) could not make up a mating bond even if he wanted to and b) everyone would know if he had.

Starting in ACOTAR, Tamlin tells Feyre the story of Lucien. On page 160, Tamlin says:

"Lucien said he didn't care she wasn't one of the High Fae, that he was certain the mating bond would snap soon and that he was going to marry her and leave his father's court to his scheming brothers."

Followed up on page 161, Tamlin adds:

"...his father has never apologized and his brothers are too frightened of me to risk harming him. But he has never forgotten what they did to her...even if he pretends he has."

That's ACOTAR. I know SJM likes to change things on a whim, but foundationally, this is Lucien's character and across all five books, it never changes. Lucien is still haunted by Jesminda and the mating bond he lost. He firmly believes, if we believe Tamlin to be a reliable narrator (and we should, as Lucien backs Tamlin's opinion up in his private thoughts. It is also worth noting that if Lucien has a villain origin story, it begins right here, the moment his father beheads Jesminda. To assume he's the villain, we ought to believe that he's been scheming non-stop for at least 200 years (since he's like, 300ish?) and to what end? To kill Beron? He'd have been scheming far longer than Elain was alive.

Moving right along to ACOMAF, on page 619, Amren says:

"And the bond," Amren breathed, Cassian's blood shining on her hands as she slowed its dribbling.

Mor said, "She asked the king to break the bond. He obliged."

I thought I might be dying- thought my chest might actually be cleaved in two.

"Thats impossible," Amren said. "That sort of bond cannot be broken."

"The kind said he could do it."

"The king is a fool," Amren barked. "That sort of bond cannot be broken."

"No, it can't," I said.

This is from Rhys' perspective. A mating bond can't be broken with magic- it's forever. Even rejected or in death (we'll get there), the mating bond is for life. Assuming Lucien's mate was Jesminda, even if it hadn't snapped in death, she would STILL be his mate and death would not have changed that. Neither would any magic Lucien, a spell-cleaver, might possess.

Let's also consider Elain, who has no reason to lie and every reason to call Lucien out regarding the bond. In ACOMAF, page 608, we see this:

"...Elain was staring over Nesta's shoulder. At Lucien-whose face she had finally taken in. Dark brown eyes met one of russet and one of metal. Nesta was still weeping, still raging, still inspecting Elain-

Lucien's hands slackened at his sides. His voice broke as he whispered to Elain, "You're my mate."

It's Elain who sees him first, who feels the mating bond mere seconds before Lucien. Why choose Elain, if you're going to pick a fake mate for your scheme? The argument is generally that she has the least amount of knowledge about Faeries and no interest in that education but how would Lucien know that? Feyre told Lucien nothing about her sisters (she told Ianthe instead), which means he would have had to guess. Given that Elain fights being put in the Cauldron, there's nothing contextually in that moment that suggests that Lucien somehow knew she was the easier sister to fool.

It's also worth noting that Lucien, up until that moment, still genuinely believes Jesminda was his mate. If he's the villain, having a fake mate makes no sense to the story or his plans.

Feyre has been inside Lucien's mind twice. Once in ACOMAF (pg. 95):

"Thoughts slammed into me, images and memories, a pattern of thinking and feeling that was old, and clever, and sad, so endlessly sad and guilt-ridden, hopeless-"

And again in ACOWAR when Lucien meets Elain for the first time. On page 249, we get the best description of what Lucien is feeling regarding the mating bond, all through Feyre's perspective:

"Too thin. She must not be eating at all. How can she even stand?

The thoughts flowed through his head, one after another. His heart was a raging, thunderous beat, and he didn't dare move from his position a mere five feet away. She hadn't yet turned toward him, but the ravages of her fasting were evident enough.

Touch her, smell her, taste her-

The instincts were running a river. he fisted his hands at his sides."

"But there she was. His mate. She was nothing like Jesminda."

"Elain had been...thrown at him."

"That circle of people who now claimed to be Feyre's new family...It was what, long ago, he'd once thought life at Tamlin's court would be. An ache like a blow to the chest went through him, but he crossed the rug."

"But he couldn't breathe as she faced him fully. She was the most beautiful female he'd ever seen. Betrayal, queasy and oily, slid through his veins. He'd said the same to Jesminda once. But even as shame washed through him, the words, the senses chanted, Mine. You are mine, and I am yours."

"She looked away- towards the windows. 'I can hear your heart,' she said quietly. He wasn't sure how to respond, so he said nothing and drained his tea even as it burned his mouth.

'When I sleep,' she murmured, 'I can hear your heart beating through the stone.' She angled her head, as if the city view held some answer. 'Can you hear mine?'

He wasn't sure if she truly meant to address him, but he said, 'No, lady. I cannot.'"

These are Lucien's thoughts from Feyre's perspective. He has no idea she's in his head, so why is he thinking all those things? Why feel guilt that he finds her beautiful or that he'd once said all the same things to Jesminda that he thinks about Elain? Why care about her well-being? We know mates are driven to protect and Lucien's very first thoughts about Elain are ones of concern. She's not eating, she's too thin, how can she possibly stand? Not, hahaah my evil planned worked and I totally have an in with the Night Court (which, why would he need considering Tamlin is currently allied with Hybern and Lucien could have taken full advantage of that?).

Additionally, assuming Lucien is faking the mating bond for some poorly defined, evil plot, why keep such distance? Why not force himself on her? That's the claim, right? That he's forcing her to be with him which is amusing because in ACOFAS, Lucien has some thoughts on page 162"

"'How is she?'

'Better. She makes no mention of her abilities. If they remain.'

'Good. But is she still...' A muscle flickered in his jaw. 'Does she still mourn him?'"

First question he asks. "How is she?" Followed by if she's still in love with her ex-fiance. And I can hear the screaming now, "HE ASKED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO OWN HER" but like, on page 165 of ACOFAS, we get:

"I can't stand to be in the same room as her for more than two minutes."

Truly a stupid plan to fake a mating bond with a person that is causing you to be eaten alive with guilt and longing. We know the second he's around her, Lucien's is overwhelmed with the mating instincts and feels guilt over Jesminda, which is why he spends little time around Elain. He also tells Feyre, on that same page, he doesn't want his life to be financed by Rhysand. Feyre practically begs Lucien to move back to Velaris, to work for her full time, to let her set him up somewhere nicer and Lucien declines it all. If his plan hinged on getting closer to the IC, to using Rhys' resources, why tell her no? Why not take her up on it? Why not make him part of her life in a much more tangible way?

And finally, the dreaded scent of the mating bond. Feyre doesn't risk talking to Rhys when she's in Spring for fear of alerting everyone to the scent of the bond. Azriel, too, cannot stand the smell of it to the point he stands in the doorway during solstice rather than come in.

Ladies, Gentleman, and Non-binary pals of the jury, examine the evidence. For Lucien to be a villain, he has to KNOW that Feyre is a daemati before she does and both leave his thoughts unguarded while constantly assuming she MIGHT be picking through them. He also has to be able to control large amounts of people at the same time via the smell of the bond and Elain being able to feel it. When he tugs, she responds.

It would require everyone around them to be incredibly dumb. Feyre and Rhys basically share a mind and while they don't necessarily trust Lucien (unfairly imo), I firmly believe one of them would have picked up on a fake bond or Lucien's scheming.

Lucien wanted Jesminda, not Elain. If he decided to punish the world around him for the consistent pain he was enduring, he doesn't need Elain to achieve this. He's friends with Feyre. He has contacts all over Prythian. He didn't need to fake a mating bond, nor does it make any sense to do so. What they have is REAL.

And lastly, the bond can't be broken. Rejected, yes, broken no. Regardless if you think they'll keep it or not, they ARE mates and Lucien is NOT the villain who will be heroically slaughtered. They're awkward, they're uncomfortable, they have shit to work out but they ARE mates, and Lucien has proven over and over that all he wants is a home and goddamn peace and quiet.

#lucien vanserra #lucien vanserra meta #anti e*riel #antiv*ssien #anti el/riel #anti v/ssien #theories that are just not based in reality #but are probably interesting twists in a fanfic i wouldn't read

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radientwings · 6 years ago

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Of New Beginnings (Elriel Fluff)

Inspired by two prompts from the wonderful @julesherondalex and @queen-archeron: they both wanted to see a version of Azriel returning injured from a mission to a very worried Elain. Went a bit more fluffy with this one than planned, but hope you both like it!

Elain was used to being left behind while the other members of the Inner Circle went off on missions or into battle. Elain was no warrior; this was well known among them all. Oh, she’d had some training; she was a part of the High Lord and Lady’s family, after all. Some fight training was essential when so much of the world wanted your immediate family dead; or worse, captured.

Azriel had ensured she knew enough self-defense to get by, that she knew how to handle a blade as well as she was able when she really had no talent for it. That didn’t mean they wanted her anywhere near sanctioned missions, however. Especially as her powers were already coveted by their enemies.

So Elain waiting in Velaris was nothing unusual. She served her Court and its leaders better there, ensuring that all her visions were taken down and recorded for interpretation later. Ensuring that her life and her power remained safe.

Still, she worried. She worried a lot. How could she not? Her friends and family put themselves at risk – mortal risk – all the time. Elain hated that she herself was too weak to contribute in that way; it was a constant point of contention for her. On the one hand, she knew her presence would likely only be a distraction to them, would be more liable to get them killed. On the other… well, her fae instincts screamed at her to protect what was hers.

Today’s mission in particular gnawed at her stomach. Azriel and Cassian had left that morning, intent on subduing some rogue Illyrian war-bands, while the rest of the Inner Circle were off on a diplomatic mission in the human realms. Elain had been left to watch Velaris; to keep the city running smoothly in their absence. An honor, to be sure, but an empty one.

Even the mountains and mountains of paperwork her sister and brother-in-law had left her weren’t enough to distract her from her worry. She wasn’t too concerned about the meetings in the human realms; it wouldn’t be the first time they’d had peace talks there and, while they were never exactly smooth, they very rarely ended in violence.

The Illyrians, however, that was especially worrying. She knew most would have absolutely no compunction about hurting either Azriel or Cassian; two bastard-born Illyrians most considered unworthy of their wings.

Cauldron, Elain hated that they had to go off on their own.

It was made a thousand times worse when a vision suddenly blind-sided her, hammered its way into her head. Elain fell to the floor with the sheer force of it, with the way it overwhelmed her every thought, screaming at her.

She catalogued each image as they flashed across her eyes.

Cassian. Azriel. The Illyrian camps. A group of captured females. An ambush lying in wait. Azriel setting off a trap when he tried to free the females.

An arrow shot from the trees, meeting its target with horrific accuracy.

Blood. Blood everywhere as a winged body was shot down from the sky, the arrow stuck in a broad chest, too close to the heart. Far too close to the heart.

Azriel again. His broken body splayed on the forest floor.

Blood. Blood everywhere.

Elain came to with a terrified gasp. Azriel was in danger.

By the mother, no, Elain thought desperately.

She forced herself to her feet despite the residual dizziness from her visions. She needed to find a way to stop it. Azriel… he couldn’t be hurt like that. He couldn’t die like that.

Not on her watch. She wouldn’t let him. She wouldn’t.

But how to stop it? He was all the way in the Steppes and Elain had never developed the power to winnow. She cursed under her breath, uncharacteristic of her but Elain hardly cared at that moment, not with the utter futility of it all staring her down.

She couldn’t give into the panic that was threatening to take her over though, not now when she needed to be able to think, to find a solution.

And then it clicked, so obvious she’d nearly overlooked it. But then, she supposed that was Nuala and Cerridwen’s purpose: to be forgetful, to be overlooked. They were sure to have some way to get in contact with Azriel, however; they were some of his most trusted spies, after all.

Elain found herself running down to the kitchen, hoping to find one of her friends there. As luck would have it, she practically crashed into Nuala, who was just exiting the kitchen upon her arrival.

“Azriel’s in danger,” Elain immediately blurted, barely sparing the time to right herself. “I’ve seen it.”

Nuala, for her part, didn’t make the mistake of not believing Elain, instead asking for every little detail. As soon as Elain was done talking, the so-called lesser faerie disappeared into shadow like she was borne from it.

The next ten minutes were probably the longest of Elain’s entire life, mortal and immortal. Her entire stomach churned with worry, anxiety eating away at her. The vision played over and over again in her mind, plaguing her thoughts.

Cauldron, what if Nuala couldn’t get to Azriel in time? What if she did but the vision’s events happened anyways?

What if… what if Azriel’s injuries would be fatal?

Sweet mother, Elain could barely bear the mere thought of that, let alone the reality. Please, she prayed to whatever deity might listen, please let him live. Let him live.

Finally, finally, Nuala returned, saying only that Azriel and Cassian had been warned, and that all they could do now was wait for them. She tried to distract Elain in the meantime, coaxing her into the very same kitchen that had brought her so much comfort in the first months of her immortal life. But Elain could not be swayed away from her thoughts of Azriel.

(A part of her felt guilty for that. Guilty because Azriel wasn’t the only one on this mission; Cassian was too. Cassian, who had welcomed her into his family with open arms and a huge smile. Cassian, who had become a brother to her. But still, it was the quieter of the two Illyrians that stayed on Elain’s mind.)

(Azriel… Stars, Azriel. Elain sometimes felt that words weren’t enough to describe him. He might live this immortal life in shadow, but the world would truly be a darker place without him in it.)

Hours later, Elain heard the telltale sound of two huge Illyrian males landing on the rooftop. She abandoned the work she’d been trying to distract herself with, running up the stairs and outside with all the speed she could muster.

The sight of Azriel standing there – alive – sent her heart racing with sheer relief. She found herself sprinting towards him, uncaring of the impropriety of it all.

“Azriel!” she exclaimed, flinging her arms around his neck, burying her head into his crook of his shoulder. He smelled of sweat and blood and war but it was still Azriel. Her Azriel, her best friend in this life. “You’re alive,” she whispered. “Thank the Cauldron.”

He hugged her back readily, arms banding around her waist with such strength that she should have felt crushed by him. But she didn’t. Couldn’t. Because this was Azriel.

“Yes, I am,” he replied, lips pressed against the top of her head as he spoke. “Thanks to you. Smart of you to find Nuala to bring me the message.”

Elain pulled back from him then, shocked to find that she’d shed a few tears in her relief. She wiped them away, pulled herself together. “Yes, well,” she said, unsure of what else she could possibly say to that, unused to taking compliments.

She allowed herself a brief moment to drink him in, however, standing there in front of her and not laying slain like he had in her vision. He was standing. Thank the mother and the Cauldron and all those holy things.

And then, suddenly, without warning, anger rushed through her. It was the anger of extreme worry, red-hot and all-consuming. Irrational. But she couldn’t help it.

“I wouldn’t have had to do any of that if you been more careful!” Elain found herself saying, voice rising. “How could you be so reckless?”

Azriel’s brows furrowed. “Reckless? There were innocents in danger, Elain.”

“I know that. It doesn’t mean you should plan to sacrifice yourself just like that!” She poked him in the chest with a single finger, hard.

He rubbed at the spot, looking at her with confusion. “If not me, then who?” he asked, as if that was an acceptable response.

(It wasn’t. Never would be, in Elain’s eyes. Nothing was worth Azriel’s sacrifice. Nothing. Not even her own soul.)

“I don’t know! I don’t. But you could have planned it better, you could have made sure you didn’t lose your life when it could have been avoided.”

He tapped her temple lightly, fingers warm against her skin. “That’s what I have you for,” Azriel finally said with a small smile, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

Elain slumped a little, anger giving way to the fear that had caused it in the first place. “But what if I hadn’t seen? What if– What if I hadn’t been able to get you the message?” What if you had died anyways?

Azriel dropped his hand to take hers. “Elain. I’m fine. I swear it. It’s just a scratch.”

Her eyes widened. “A scratch? What? Where?”

He gestured to his right leg, where there was a deep cut in the meat of his thigh, blood disguised by the darkness of his Illyrian leathers; it looked like an arrow wound. Elain’s anger immediately turned inwards; how hadn’t she noticed that? Her fingers fluttered over the injury, like she wanted to heal it with a simple touch. She stopped herself just in time from actually making contact though; Cauldron, what if she hurt him more?

Elain looked back at Azriel, finding his eyes already on her, dark with something she didn’t recognize. (When did he get so close?)

“You’re hurt,” she whispered, voice tremulous. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize… I can’t believe just ran at you.” Stupid, stupid Elain.

But Azriel shook his head, suppressing a smile, eyes full of incredible fondness. “It’ll heal. And I liked the greeting.”

A flush rose on Elain’s cheeks. She looked down at their linked hands, played idly with Azriel’s fingers. “I wish… I wish you wouldn’t get hurt all the time. I know it’s for a good cause, I know it’s for a purpose, but I– I can’t–” she trailed off, words choking her.

Azriel went completely still in front of her, like he was holding his breath. “You can’t what?”

She flicked her eyes back up to his hazel ones; the very same that always seemed to be able to see through to her soul.

“I can’t stand to see you hurt,” she admitted. It was more than just that, she knew. But she wasn’t quite ready to say the rest out loud. Not yet.

“Elain,” he said, like her name held all the answers in the world.

“Azriel, I–” she shook her head suddenly; mother, but where were the words? In lieu of something to say, Elain found herself lifting his scarred hand, pressing a kiss to his palm. She peered up at him shyly, found that he looked shocked, this tips of ears slightly red. “Please. Just be more careful? I– There are people here who care about you.”

He seemed to consider something, watching her with an inscrutable expression. “Like you?”

Elain couldn’t deny it. Didn’t want to. “Yes, like me.”

A smile, small but utterly beautiful. “In that case… can I try something?”

The deep gruffness of Azriel’s voice sent a shiver through Elain’s spine, his closeness making her heart flutter almost uncomfortably. Yet Azriel tugged her closer, his free hand coming up to frame her face, to tilt it upwards. She nodded then, words caught in her throat.

And then he kissed her, surprising her utterly. It was no soft, chaste thing either, like she might have expected from him. No, this was full of burning passion, as red-hot as her anger had been earlier. It was the kind of kiss that forced gasps out of her, that left her breathless. A clash of tongues and teeth and pure want.

When he tried to pull back – probably to bring sense back to them – Elain pushed herself to her tiptoes, chased his lips with hers. She tightened the fingers she had in his hair (how did that happen?), not allowing him any further from her. That was clearly enough encouragement for Azriel, who wrapped her tighter in his embrace, surrounding her completely.

Elain loved it. Couldn’t get enough. Her body sung for more, her mind hazy with it. And her heart. Well, her heart was full to the brim of a feeling she didn’t want to name just yet.

And then, like a splash of ice-cold water, Cassian’s voice interrupted them. “Alright, lovers, as much as I’m happy for you both – especially for Az here, who really needs to loosen up – he does still need to see the healers,” he said loudly, clearly laughing at them.

Elain flew back from Azriel, cheeks burning with embarrassment. Stars, she’d completely forgotten that Cassian was right too, hovering at the edge of her vision.

Even worse, she’d forgotten that Azriel was still wounded.

She eyed his injury now, safely a few steps away from. “I’m so sorry,” she babbled, “I didn’t hurt you more, did I?”

Azriel still wore that small smile of his, full of delighted fondness. He was probably a bit delirious from all the blood loss, she thought. Cauldron, but Elain could be so stupid.

But Azriel stopped that path of thought before it could get too far, shouldering past Cassian to get closer to her again.

Elain looked up at him, wide-eyed, suddenly overwhelmed by him, how big he was next to her. He reached out to tuck some loose hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek gently. The softness of his actions sent her heart aflutter, made her feel even more flushed than when he had been kissing her.

“I’ll be more careful,” he promised. He leaned in once more, pressed his lips against her forehead briefly, an indescribably sweet gesture. His voice was low, a whisper only for her ears. “Especially if I have you waiting for me.”

With that, he grinned at her – a full, wide grin – and pulled away, heading back to where Cassian was watching them both with a knowing smirk.

“Not a word,” Azriel commanded of his brother.

Cassian’s smirk only widened. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Your face says it all,” Azriel grumbled, protesting as Cassian pulled one of his arms over his shoulders.

“I’ll bring him back in good health,” Cassian called back to Elain, that wolf’s grin still in place. “Can’t have him sweeping you off your feet with an injured leg, now can we?”

Elain spluttered, wanting to say something about not being swept anywhere, but Cassian never gave her the chance, only winking before he forced Azriel to walk away, leading him to the healer’s.

It took Elain a long, long moment to gather herself and go back inside. And even when she did, she was sure her face looked like it was on fire. But, for once, she found she couldn’t care much about her embarrassment, not with how her cheeks hurt from all the smiling. Besides, her thoughts were more caught up on what might have happened if Cassian hadn’t been there… if Azriel hadn’t been injured at all.

Well. Maybe next time. Maybe they’d have a hundred more opportunities. Maybe a thousand more.

Elain certainly hoped so.

Tagging @rosehallshadowsinger, @ben-roll-io, @poisonous00, @alicethelonerabbit @charmed908 and @flxwer-petals

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moiraineswife · 8 years ago

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16 and 23 for ACOWAR asks.

16) Mor’s power - what would you like it to be?

I’ve made a theory about this before but I like the idea of Mor having some kind of foresight. The truth magic is more complicated but also interesting. Feyre has a few superstitions about the fae in ACOTAR and I think most of them are foreshadowing:

‘That was the first rule we were taught as children, usuallyin songs or chants: If misfortune forced you to keep company with a faerie, younever drank their wine, never ate their food. Ever. Unless you wanted to windup enslaved to them in mind and soul.’

This bit obviously foreshadows the mating bond and the way that it’s sealed - the female offers the male food and this seals the bond. So this superstition is definitely rooted in fact.

‘And faeries couldn’t lie.’

I think this part might hint at the Suriel and its truth when captured (something Lucien mentions as a throwaway comment in ACOTAR before we see it) but I also think it speaks to Mor/the Vertias’ truth magic. There are a couple of ways I could see this manifesting - she can’t lie to humans if she’s invoked a certain piece of magic ‘You know I speak the truth’ OR:

“You try to break the bargain, and you know what willhappen,”

[…]

“He said there were consequences for breaking a magicalbargain.”

There’s quite a palava made over bargains in this series, specifically magical fae bargains. Rhys mentions several times the consequences of breaking a magical bargain - Tamlin seems incapable of breaking this one or finding a way to break it (apart from going through the King of Hybern) and Amarantha we saw was compelled to hold to her bargain - the magic broke when Feyre answered her riddle as she had no loopholes worked in there to save her.

I wonder sometimes if Mor’s ability is something along the same lines - if she can compel people to hold to their truths, even if it’s not made in the form of an official bargain, or if breaking a bargain bonded by her carries even stronger penalties than Amarantha breaking her word. In that case the magic simply circumvented her will and granted what she had promised.

I don’t think she can compel others to speak the truth to her (otherwise she’d probably have Azriel’s job tbh, magic is a heck of a lot easier and more reliable than torture) but maybe she can sense lies? Or maybe she can see/sense other people’s truths (the Bone Carver can do something like this so we know it’s possible) Or maybe she can state things/people exactly as they are - and the people she speaks to really do know that she’s telling the truth and that she isn’t lying to them. ‘I am the Morrigan, you know I speak the truth.’ maybe she’s literally told us what she can do. Or maybe she can compel people to believe that she’s speaking the truth even if she’s not (though I doubt that - she gets called out on lies and too much stock is placed in the Veritas which is said to carry a similar kind of magic to Mor) The truth is (ha) that SJM is so vague about this that tbh she could do pretty much anything even remotely related to truth, we don’t have enough to properly guess, or even have a reasonable stab at it.

She probably also has a serious amount of power there too, beyond her truth magic, given that she survived a fight with Amren and that everyone was so desperate to breed said power into their bloodlines (ugh). And she’s a war veteran, she actively fought in the war and she’s more powerful than Cassian and Azriel and...entire armies of Illyrians SO. Someone give me the goods, please and thank you.

23) Babies - yea or nay? If you had to pick one couple to have a mini, who would it be?

No. I have Strong Opinions on this topic. You didn’t ask, but you’re getting them anyway:

Moriel: No. None. Never. Not now. Not in ten years. not in a hundred years. not in a thousand years. Never. A)- I don’t think either of them would actually want them? They want to be free, they want to just be with each other and enjoy each other and just be allowed to do what they want and neither of them really feels that urge. B)- I don’t think Mor actually can have children. (This is one of those headcanons were at this point I don’t care what canon does because this makes too much sense to me for me to let go of it.) But it just..it’s horribly fitting in a twisted way - she took away her value to Keir, her ability to marry Eris and gain him wealth and power by association, so he took away the only thing he saw as giving her any value or worth - her ability to bear children. Which probably upsets her a little bit when others start having smalls but...She and Az are quite sure. They are enough for each other, they don’t need children to be happy or to love and want and need each other. So. No babies here ever. Moriel are a baby free zone on this blog.

Feyrhys: tbh....I can go with them never having any really easily. Like...they’re immortal?? They don’t need them in theory? I mean...Tarquin inherited his position as High Lord as the cousin of the previous one. So the previous one died without issue so it just jumped to the next suitable dude in the family. It’s not essential is what I’m saying. Rhys would never pressure Feyre into having them and to be honest...I can’t see Feyre wanting them. She parented her family for most of her childhood and every time she’s considered pregnancy/children it’s been a case of ‘do not want them’. She makes it very, very clear she’d have nothing to do with Isaac without a tonic ensuring that she can’t get pregnant; she implies she was taking a tonic while she and Tamlin were together (she tells Rhys at the cabin that she isn’t taking one anymore - implying that she was) despite Tamlin’s mentioning them having children/heirs some day. She deliberately speaks to Rhys about it after their sex marathon chapter 55 and makes it clear that the only way she’d thought about having them would have been as an obligation. If she’d been obliged to provide him with children as his mate which Rhys shuts down. She then admits that she wants Rhys to herself for a good few centuries.

This is not a girl who can’t wait to have children and honestly, I’d like it if she never did. Yes, yes she might change her mind but tbh I hate that line of thinking the ‘oh you’ll feel incomplete without them some day!’ Fuck that. A woman can be entirely complete without children and without the societal pressure/expectation to have them..I honestly don’t think Feyre would fancy it. (They will probably have a baby in canon but in my head...they’re baby free.....at the very, very, very, very, very least for like 500 solid years. Maybe more. Probably more. But not like 50 years after the war just N O. Let the girl live.)

Nessian: Nessian are funny. I can see them going either way but...I think I’d like them to have maybe one or two, actually. I think Cassian would be pretty up for it, with some proper talking and planning. It’s not something he’d rush into impulsively but...I think he would get quite broody and I think this would happen before Nesta. I think Nesta might feel a little guilty almost that she doesn’t want this at all but Cass, like Rhys, is very firm in that he’s not pushing her into this at all and that she has absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. He’d like kids, maybe, some day, but they are not necessary at all.

I think Nesta has a bit of a turning point with them and she genuinely goes from ‘over my dead body’ to ‘Cassian knock me up immediately’. I think maybe elucien are onto their third, maybe fourth, and she holds this little one in her arms and she just...bonds with it. And then she starts feeling things that she’s never, ever felt before and she looks up at Cassian and she knows that she loves him so much and that....She wants this. She really, really, really wants this. She wants a baby. She wants to be a mother.

I think the thought of it still kind of terrifies her and she bottles this up for a while thinking it might go away (it doesn’t. It just gets worse.) Finally Cassian coaxes it out of her and she admits she’s been thinking about it and he’s overjoyed and they agree to start planning and preparing and then trying. Nesta is probably quite insecure once she does actually get pregnant but Cass is very gentle and reassuring and it’s just something they both want so desperately after a few centuries together.

Elucien: Probably get pregnant during the mating bond sex marathon tbh. No, no not quite but I do think they talk about it early on and both agree that they want it. They probably, very sensibly, agree that they have plenty of time, no need to rush anything, they can wait, just enjoy themselves, they don’t need little ones, they should just calm down. They probably give themselves a time restriction of like a century to just be. I don’t think they make it through half of that before they’re actively trying because they just...Need to be parents, it doesn’t feel right otherwise.

They have a large brood, they just keep having more, it just feels right. And then once they get to the point where they stop having little ones of their own they just start adopting other little ones. (Right, listen, I’ve definitely talked about this before but I love the heck out of this headcanon so have it again: Azriel is grudgingly in the war camps for some time and while he’s there he finds a little baby girl being mistreated by her family. Obviously given Azriel’s history and his general...well self he’s not too happy with this so he just. No. I am taking her away (he really doesn’t think this through at all, bless him, but he’s trying to do the right thing) So he scoops the little one up and takes her away and basically Mor comes home like.........Azriel.....why exactly are you trying to quieten a screaming baby?? So Az explains and Mor is very touched but also a bit o.O Az we cannot keep her, this is a child, not that stray cat you adopted last week, okay, it’s a bit different. So, naturally, they do the only sensible thing and they send for Elain. Elain who has only recently found herself with an empty house that just feels entirely too empty and too quiet. She goes to see them and within seconds the baby is quiet and happy in her arms and she’s in love and taking her home. (Lucien is a little bit !!! about this plan because ‘uh, dove, she has wings.’ but Elain insists happily that they’ll just have to figure it out because they simply must take care of her. This sparks a little tradition of them taking in unwanted little ones from all over Prythian and taking care of them.)

So, to summarise and actually answer the question: Moriel: no. Feyrhys: if you put a gun to my head. Nessian: after many, many, many centuries. Elucien: why do they not have babies already!?

#elucien #moriel #nessian #feyrhys #acowar #UNPOPULAR OPINION FOR THE FEYRHYS BUT IDC #i just cannot see her /wanting/ them. i can see her feeling obliged/compelled somehow. but not actively /wanting/ them herself #acotar series #ask game answers #answered #lauren answers

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