#Edwin taking notes: fascinating

[myiliterallyhavenolifegoals]

Charles: aw that was aces! right, Edwin?

Edwin: yes it was rather,

*consulting a list of modern slang Niko and Crystal gave him*

Edwin, proudly: poggers :)

[pandorem]

Genuinely find it fascinating from a writing perspective that Edwin’s propensity for playing trauma olympics is a well established trait of his that plays so interestingly into his relationships with Crystal and Charles and Simon especially, and how it works in his character arc and how it both plays into and CONTRASTS his incredible capacity for forgiveness. How it’s a flaw that makes so much sense with how much he’s suffered that it’s hard not to be sympathetic towards it or even agree with him sometimes, but that it IS a flaw and comes up at times that are less fair as well. Im not sure I have a real point to this yet, it’s just something I want to chew on for a while.

for one: Edwin’s tendency to put his trauma as worse than others’ (no matter how literally correct he might be) is set up directly to parallel Crystal’s own self centered tendencies and her character arc. They BOTH have a tendency to not consider other people’s feelings and pain until someone points out to them that they are being dismissive. They are mirrors of each other and I love them so much. I also wanted to push back a bit on some things I’ve seen about how Edwin’s reaction to her yelling at him in episode one was completely justified (“what she’s been through? I spent 70 years in hell!”) because of how their traumas interact and how she let David in the first time that feel too dismissive of Crystal’s trauma. Yes, their trauma’s with demons interact in ways that it makes PERFECT SENSE that Edwin reacted the way he did, and I even sympathize with him, but something being sympathetic does not mean it’s justified. Taking away the metaphor of the Demonic nature of it all, Crystal was just cornered and threatened by her abusive ex boyfriend who has succeeded in isolating her from her entire social circle/any safety net she might have had before the boys. And uh. We don’t say about people getting out of abusive relationships that it’s justified that people were mad at them for getting into the relationship willingly. So.

Also. While Edwin’s measuring of their traumas is more sympathetic in the first episode, the moment in a later episode where Edwin (nearly lightheartedly) dismisses Crystal’s nightmare about her abusive demon ex because “the living know nothing about true nightmares” is less so, and I think is there to confirm that this is a genuine, deliberately written character flaw that he needs to grow out of, just like Crystal needs to grow.

And that brings us to Simon. The character who Edwin is THE MOST justified to be angry at, to blame and to compare their punishments. When he rages that Simon damned him to decades of being ripped apart while Simon sits quietly crying in a room, getting paper cuts from tearing pages out of books, it’s honestly difficult not to agree with him, to not feel that same righteous indignation. But then despair lays it out for him: he was about to gloat over another’s torture. And even without yet knowing more about Simon, Edwin is horrified by the idea. I think it says so much about Edwin’s GOODNESS that the time this character flaw of his feels the most justified and right is also the time he works through and past it to empathize with the pain of the real person on the other side of that. It is after he comes back, needing Simon to know that he didn’t mean to gloat, that he is then able to see Simon as a real person, as someone he shares pain with, the pain of being closeted and terrified in the 1910s. Simon was a kid, same as Edwin, who was terrified of his own nature and let that fear and humiliation lead him to cruelty that ended in consequences that he never intended. And it says so, so much about Edwin’s goodness that once he is able to see past his own pain and empathize with someone else’s, he feels for and maybe even forgives the one person that he would be most justified in NOT forgiving. That connecting with him is literally what saved Simon’s soul in the end.

(It’s also worth noting- Simon thinks that Edwin is “another trick” when he first sees him. He says that “the headmaster will be angry”. In keeping with the theme that we shouldn’t compare traumas or decide that we know what other people are going through, it seems clear to me that what we saw- sitting alone and getting paper cuts- was NOT the entirety of Simon’s hell.)

And then there’s Charles. Now. Edwin has a lot of 1910s sensibilities that make him connecting the dots on what Charles went through a bit difficult for him. But Edwin never, ever suggests that his trauma is less or isn’t worth getting upset about. Because it’s Charles, and Charles deserves no amount of pain ever, in the world. I don’t think it would ever occur to Edwin if I’m honest. Of course it’s because he loves him and Charles is his favourite person in the universe, but also I wonder at the fact that their very first meeting, so soon after Edwin had escaped hell, was one of complete empathy and compassion. Maybe seeing the bullies made him see himself in Charles but it sort of circles the point I think I’m making- Edwin’s very real flaws contrast against and thus highlight his INCREDIBLE kindness and goodness.

[edwinspaynes]

Both Edwin and his notebook were normal objects, once. He would have carried it in his bookbag or in his pocket, taking notes about detective novels and coursework.

But then both Edwin and his notebook were taken to Hell. Maybe he hid it under a floorboard; maybe he hid it in a hole in the wall. It was his salvation, writing notes in it while he was down there, creating maps and escape plans and little drawings while actively being tortured for decades. It didn't just enable him to escape Hell; it provided him with a refuge while he was there.

And then he got out. With the notebook.

He slipped it into his pocket, maybe, or he held it in his hand. But he walked through an entirely new world, and he started to take notes in it again about what it was like to be a ghost. Ghost rules. Facts and historical events in this new world he lives in, this new world he cannot yet fathom.

That notebook is his constant comfort. And now he's a boy back at St Hilarion's, 73 years of horrors later, taking notes in the same logbook he'd had when he was alive.

Over time, he realized: Hell changed the notebook. Just as Edwin was an eternal being, the notebook was now an eternal thing. The pages inside were limitless, and he will always be able to use it.

Edwin's relationship with his notebook must be so rich, and so nuanced. I wish we had season 2 and could delve into this more, because it's so fascinating to me and I love him so much.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

The Kind of Light That Means Just Love (When My Baby Smiles at Me)

Had a prompt in writing group today and felt moved to write a sweet little Charles/Edwin fic! 1.4k, no warnings ^_^

Also readable on Ao3 (for registered users only - sorry, it's a last-ditch flimsy anti-AI scraping measure!)

~

Click!

Edwin blinked, partly in surprise – partly to dislodge the blots in his vision left behind by the sudden, rapid flash of white light that had danced across the pages of his book. He looked up to find the culprit grinning at him from across the room.

“Charles,” Edwin admonished, gently closing his book with a finger tucked between the pages to hold his place. “I have asked you to stop fooling around with that contraption and get some work done.”

“I have been!” Charles defended, gesturing broadly at the higgledy-piggledy array of items around him. Evidently, taking stock of the contents of his bag of tricks was an expansive task. “Taking a break.” He snatched the small square of paper from the Polaroid camera and began to shake it with abandon.

Edwin rolled his eyes. Ever since they’d acquired that camera as payment for a job ‘well jobbed’, Charles had scarcely put it down. Edwin, admittedly, had been intrigued by it at the start – it was certainly a testament to how far photographic technology had advanced since his own life and subsequent death. It was quite fascinating; seeing the slow, hulking monstrosities he’d been forced to sit rigidly still in front of for aeons in his youth, compressed into such a portable and efficient form. But after a few days of study, digging around in its component parts, comparing its output to that of sepia-tinted newspaper clippings from his day – as well as the baffling digital displays on Niko’s portable telephone – the novelty had worn off, and he’d turned his attention to more pressing matters.

But Charles remained enamoured. He’d had the thing slung round his neck for at least a week, and showed no signs of taking it off anytime soon.

The amateur photographer in question grinned infectiously, as the chemicals on the paper settled. “Ah, yeah. That’s a good one, that.”

He held it up proudly, and Edwin was treated to a lovingly framed image of the chair in which he sat, with an open book floating above it.

“I hardly see why you bother,” said Edwin, crossing his legs the other way and letting the book fall open on his knee. “Neither of us show up in photographs. I highly doubt that’s going to change with repeated exposures.” And a good thing, too, as Edwin hadn’t consented to be photographed in just his rolled-up shirtsleeves. His states of improper dress were quite strictly reserved for quiet, studious evenings in the privacy of their rooms; unlike Charles, he had standards with regard to flashing every dip and plane God gave him in mixed company.

“Well. Thought that counts, innit?” Charles bounced to his feet and over to the secondary cork board that had recently been added to the office. Unlike the first, which was full of case notes and theories, this one was exclusively populated by Charles’ photographic whims. The only faces that appeared were those of their living friends – Crystal, Niko, even one snap of Jenny wearing stiff shoulders and a reluctant grimace while Niko hugged her from the side.

Charles and Edwin featured only in the notable absences. Empty chairs, floating objects, the spaces between their friends in the group shots. The only one in which they were ‘visible’, by a loose definition of the word, was the one where Charles had insisted they cut eye holes out of white sheets and drape them over their heads. “Like Beetlejuice!” He’d said; and he’d sounded so excited that Edwin hadn’t even asked him why on earth one would juice a beetle, or what it had to do with playing dress-up.

The new photo found its home amongst a cluster of similar absent Edwins – a floating magnifying glass, an empty desk, a hand of Cluedo cards with no holder. “Brills,” Charles grinned, stepping back and crossing his arms to admire his collection.

“I really don’t see the point of this exercise,” said Edwin. “Who’d even know that’s a picture of someone?”

“I know, don’t I? I can look at these and be like –“ he pointed at the floating magnifying glass image – “That’s the time Edwin got all fussy about Niko’s rent contract ‘cause he thought her landlord was pulling a fast one. And this –“ his finger moved to the Cluedo cards – “This is the time Edwin knew what the answer was for forty bloody minutes, but he held off on making his accusation because he wanted to watch me go round and round in circles, like a knob. See what I mean?”

“Is your point that you keep these as evidence for blackmail?” Edwin asked.

“No, point is, I remember.” Charles tapped his forehead. “Got it all in here. Don’t need a bloody photo to remind me what you look like, do I? Seen you every day for the last thirty years.” He cast Edwin a flippant smile, soft round the edges like the warm browns of his hooded eyes. “Know your face better than I know my own.”

Edwin ducked his head, tamping down on the peculiar feeling in his face and stomach. Like an abrupt upset of the humours – an anomaly of the ectoplasm. At least, that’s how he would’ve characterised it some months or years ago. Now, he was more than painfully aware that it was probably more akin to the spectral equivalent of… blushing. Lord help him.

“Then why take the photographs at all?” Edwin pressed, setting his book aside and giving Charles his full attention. He winced at the sharp tone of his own voice. It was quite unintentional – he had no desire to judge, only to understand.

Fortunately, Charles knew his voice as well as his face. He shrugged, unoffended, eyes roving over his collection. “We’re still here, ain’t we? Not alive, but… we should have memories too, yeah?” He reached out, twitching the corner of a photo. One of Edwin – or the absence of him. Him and Niko, that is. Edwin remembered it well; remembered Niko perching birdlike on the arm of his chair, hugging his arm, nudging her head against his and beaming for the camera. She’d insisted he pose his fingers alongside hers, although in the end result of course only hers were visible. One half of a broken heart.

“Shouldn’t just be for the living, should it?” said Charles, smiling that strange, sad little smile of his at the picture. The one he was so careful not to let people see. “Making new memories to keep.”

Edwin rose, stepping carefully over Charles’ assorted chaos to join him at the board; and Charles watched his advance with that easy, open curiosity on his face. When Edwin’s hands clasped around the camera strap, Charles bowed his head and let him take the device without a fight.

Sometimes, his trust felt as real and visceral in Edwin’s hands as a living, beating heart. But now wasn’t the time for poetics.

Quickly reacquainting himself with the various switches, Edwin held the viewfinder to his eye, framed his shot, and took the snap. Charles did a remarkably good job at not flinching with the flash – but Edwin supposed this style of photography had been more commonplace in his lifetime. He just stood and watched, bemused, as Edwin retrieved the photograph and gave it three short, sharp shakes.

When the image of their photo board revealed itself, not a Charles to be seen despite the fact the camera had been pointed squarely at him, Edwin cocked his head and contemplated it. He had to concede that Charles had a point; though there was no Charles in the photo, Edwin could easily fill in the gaps himself. How could he not? He’d watched the white light paint Charles’ familiar, beloved features; highlighting the amused twitch of his lip, the fond warmth in his eyes. The glint of his gold chain against his white vest, cutting stark across the warm tones of his skin. The confused acceptance with which he’d stood perfectly calmly, waiting for Edwin’s motives to reveal themselves.

Edwin stepped up to the board and held out his hand. Wordlessly, Charles dropped a drawing pin into his palm.

“This,” said Edwin, glancing sidelong at Charles as he carefully pinned the photo up beside the silly shot of the two of them in their butchered bedsheets. “Is the time Charles made a surprising amount of sense; whilst talking utter nonsense.”

Charles smiled, brighter than a camera flash; the after-image of which Edwin would be carrying on the backs of his eyes for days to come.

~

Hope you liked it! Comments and reblogs are super duper appreciated! ^_^ 💛

I have no idea if I'm gonna write/post more fic for these guys, tbh my interest is relatively casual atm and my time/concentration is limited, plus at any given moment I may be lured in by the siren call of horror movie fic on my alt account. But they're very sweet and I have the odd plot bunny so we'll see!

[goldenmorningglory]

we need a painland parallel of the piano scene from skam france s3.

edwin finding a piano and just being fascinated, cause it's been over a century since he's been around one. even when he was alive, he didn't have the time for music, or more specifically he made sure he didn't, to not give any potential bullies more fuel to mark him out.

just edwin letting latent muscle memory take over and drifting off into a breathless piece, fingers flying over keys like they're dancing. just him eyes closed, swaying to it, softest smile flickering on his lips.

crystal watching and feeling niko's fingers grip her arm, turning to find her teary, quiet joy reflected in her eyes. a feeling of contentment so bone deep that she feels she could sleep dreamless for the first time in years.

niko watching and feeling inexplicably full, like a balloon of emotions in her chest is threatening to burst. she can't put in words if she tried, how much it fills her with comfort, the notes that flow from edwin's fingers into the air.

them turning to glance at charles and charles just having the most unfamiliar expression on his face. it's somewhere between surprise and intrigue and fierce yearning and sadness. them looking away because it felt too intimate like there was a cloak settling over him of distance.

edwin finishing the piece and snapping out of it. him turning around, sheepish smile on his face cause he hardly gets distracted like that and he didn't know what had gotten into him. niko and crystal just spontaneously gushing and edwin looking half embarassed and half endeared. they're leaving the room, niko and crystal walking ahead in deep discussion, and charles who has still not said anything, putting out his hand to stop edwin.

edwin whose non-existent breath hitches and he turns to charles, who's looking at him with such intent and intensity it makes him slightly lightheaded. charles almost unthinkingly sliding his hand down edwin's arm to his fingers, lifting his hand to his face. edwin feeling each puff of artificial breath on his gloveless hands.

charles softly caressing his fingers, tracing each dip and divot, and looking at edwin through lowered lashes. edwin muttering out a nervous query, and charles simply brushing his lips to edwin's fingers, stopping him dead.

you're surprising, even after 30 years, he breathes will you play for me again soon?

edwin, voiceless and blank, nodding. anything, he responds, similarly breathless. anything you want.

charles' lips ticking up in a quiet smile, his eyes never less intense, and gracing edwin's fingers with another faint but impactful kiss. it was beautiful, he says and gently drops edwin's hand, turning his face away and follows the girls out.

edwin stands till he can catch his breath, fearing he may have died once more and actually received heaven as his destination this time.

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

DBD rewatch notes!

episode 1

Why was Charles making that face before offering Crystal to stay at the office?

Why are they not supposed to interact with the living? clearly Emma has no such qualms.

Crystal speaks up to make sure Edwin hears when she says thank you for taking her in

Why is David a surprising name for a demon? Why IS David called David, if it isn't a demon name?

HOW did I watch the show this many times without noticing the septum ring??

"The living are messy. If she had died last night, I'd have no issue with her being here." OKAY EDWIN. I guess this and the 'no living people' rule must have to do with the Infamous Puppy Debacle of '94. In this case, Edwin is not insulting Crystal specifically, but is being very literal that he would not be worried about taking care of a dead person.

I love how they NAME everything from cases to moves to incidents.

Charles teases Edwin for being jealous, but does he actually think that? Edwin is just overly cautious, and yeah that's causing an issue at the moment, but does he have, like, a record of being jealous of girls Charles likes?

Charles immediately tries to seperate Edwin and Crystal to stop them arguing, and Crystal is like "wait what??" like she's SO surprised. Also kinda love the not-subtle dig at Edwin's behavior. That does not go without retaliation ie: you weren't here when the mail came

WAIT they're going on a walk and taking, like Edwin and Monty. that's cute.

Did Crystal actually thin Edwin was in hero for being evil? I feel like that is surprising to hear regardless. Is it common for Charles to explain to people that his bf was only sent to hell on a technicality??

I think Crystal must have learned about hell from David, because if the ghosts she has met haven't moved on yet they have no way of knowing about hell.

The focus on people staring at Crystal is kinda weird. Does she even realize yet?

What did she used to feel like when people got mad at her for being mean?

What does Charles think about the way Crystal talks about her anger? He says it's cool that she is still alive, but does he admire her honesty too?

The up-and-down when she asks if that line used to work. He didn't even tell her what decade he died. Read him.

Aww she wanted to get Edwin some coffee to cheer him up. She even says hi to him as soon as she's inside. Crystal cares whether Edwin likes her or not. At the very least, she is trying to be nice to him.

How DOES the ghost post work? also the sheer incredulity of Crystal's voice lmao. Why exactly does the mail carrier sneak up on them? is he also dead?

Why does he care who the client is? they already know what the mystery is.

'keep your voice down!' bestie you already flirted at her, she knows.

'it's happening too quickly' Edwin doesn't wanna screw up his routine

good on Crystal for getting straight to business. Becky's ALIVE, boys!

Why do they think Death will come back to the office?

more people stare at Crystal. Dies she really not notice before the malt shop?

I can't help being reminded of that textpost about putting Crystal in the bag and going through a mirror.

Edwin thinks he is so clever with the agency name joke. He is so proud of that one. same thing with his journal of opinions joke. he's having so much fun rn.

I love that every time there's a Jenny scene the soundtrack changes to goth or rock music.

Why is the red LED neat diagram briefly orange and why is Edwin so fascinated by it?

She's scary for all of two seconds before becoming awkward and weird and mean. Jenny, ladies and etc!

Edwin is so menacing here FOR WHAT

Crystal gets the room as is, then never decorates it during the following weeks.

Can those ghosts teleport?? I noticed the dragons so it too, is it a shirt distance thing?? wtf?

pictures of guys, huh Charles? Is there anything else notable about the pictures?

Edwin jesus fuck lay off her. He is looking for just ANY excuse to talk shit.

Charles trying to help out Crystal is nice. I wonder why she doesn't like reading minds though? During the course of the series, she totally volunteers to read minds and it's a go-to solution for her. What happened to put her off it that she doesn't remember anymore?

What'd he do to get burned by the iron?

I guess after knowing ghosts for however long, none of them must have told Crystal about iron.

how does that alarm system via possession even work??

After that silence I kinda thought Edwin went to hell for possession when I first watched LMAO

Esther must have put the shoes in the woods as a distraction. I wonder if the boys would have ever found out if it weren't for Crystal.

they know cats talk and have human personalities and yet Charles sees one and is instantly like "aw fuck off man :((" bro chill

Why is the cat voice so. echoey?

what would happen if somebody tried to sit on the stools that the boys are already on?

Do we ever see anything like this door entrance in a mindscape scene after this? Does she ever walk around while in a trance again?

holy crap Edwin

I guess she takes a while to figure out it's her own brain. mecore.

of course there's an argument now. how could there not be?

then they never follow up on the "our demon" line

poor old Edwin has Charles taking such good care of him that he isn't used to the guy trying to take care of TWO peoples' feelings. Man I know that they don't talk about feelings in your time but at some point you've got to learn that everything you're saying is a fear reaction and not a moral stance.

I love the high contrast in this scene!

Simon's lil smile and Edwin walking away looks SO different with Context.

why tf is the sacrifice named "Mary Ann" and WHAT is Simon's brother into?

"don't do that!" and a breath of relief followed immediately by a jumpscare is SO GOOD. like I get scared by jumpscares but I love when they do it like this.

"It's not that bad" *hoovers the boy* *sells him to a demon*

THE TRANSITION. WITH THE SCREAMING

Why is the same cat here? is he following Edwin? W H Y

you're such a whore 🙄 (cat voice)

What if I offered you a sardine out of my gloves hand and bound you in a magical leash and you were a cat🥺 (and we were both boys)

The cat's mannerisms are pretty convincing IMO. my cat does the same ear thing when she wants me to leave her alone. And the tense shoulder/neck scrunch combo just adds to the effect.

I wish Edwin got to use more magic in the show.

not the apathetic eyebrow raise

me when I dump blood

I love this scene. Jenny is so awkward but also she remembers what Crystal says here. She remembers hearing about Crystal's ex like three times ever and ends up going after that boy with a cleaver. but it all starts with Jenny not knowing if she's allowed to show that she cares.

oh and her shield of cynicism

and the way she asks for more information!!

Charles with the questions! detective-ass.

it's interesting that Jenny and Charles both try to help Crystal while looking through a lens colored by trauma (specifically parental flavored) but Charles is so gentle while Jenny is abrasive.

Crystal! With the self-awareness!!

if you what? finish the sentence, Crystal.

Also she says "didn't you see that" like those pink lights were not symbolic they were real in-universe. Crystal and Niko were still acting hella gay tho. ofc, Crystal was under a spell and Niko is just Like That.

FAIR QUESTION

he doesn't answer whether or not it's weird. He also doesn't wait for an answer of if she'll tell Edwin. He trusts her.

Aww poor kidddsss

Edwin walks in and out of rooms like God sent him

Crystal with the self-awareness once agaiiiin 😎

TRANSITIONS

if she was in that relationship since three months ago and we don't know how long she was possessed for before Emma figured out how to find the boys, she may have already been missing for weeks at this point.

The way she is dressed and the way she's acting is risky different from the memories she gets from the marbles. Is this a real memory? Why would she dress like that, or hang out with those people?

Is the possession paralelled to any of this scary movies that was playing in the theater they go to? bc it looks really familiar.

Edwin is really focusing on the wrong details here, man. Also comparing a scared person to their abuser is not fuckin cool.

YAY! FEELINGS TALK!

I love the sound of his voice in this scene.

I mean I thought it was already clear that neither of them wanted David involved but if Edwin needs clarification that's fine ig

the description of Esther is line a spoken word poem

you know he doesn't get out much when he doesn't know about the internet

Jenny is iconic

absolutely ZERO emotional response to "Like kind of a sexy witch who smokes alot but in a cool way" like maybe they didn't hear Charles. maybe their minds were blocking it out because what the fuck /j

and her coat gets caught in the door and she can't drive. Perfect.

The fuckin twirl. Thank you costumes for cutting the vent stitch because the swooshy coat adds to the effect 🙏

Esther leaves the stove on when she's out of the house? does she want her bird to DIE!? It must be an accident because Edwin has to take it off :o either that, or she wasn't planning on leaving for too long, or knew there'd be someone to take care of it 👀

Also Edwin is EXACT in his reading if the floor plan. Like that is SPECIFIC

is that a sink cabinet? no basin??

an empty cabinet like that is sus anyways. who has that little stuff??

Edwin volunteers and Charles knows he's scared but makes sure he does it anyways. I wonder if there are any more examples of this behavior.

Monocrome; floor littered in bones and shoes. Edwin is 'weighed down'

it's not a void, there's a floor.

Wait Has Esther been planting shoes for the cops to find, then re-stealing them for her snake's nest??

Also how often does she kidnap forms because I feel like she'd either have to run out or get caught at some point.

"bag of tricks" they name EVERYTHING

technically they didn't break in

what did she THINK they wanted?

COLLECTOR

I've already said this but Esther loves things she *consumes*, so her love of birds is kinda bad news for Monty. He's just there to use in her plans.

Also the first time I watched this I thought Esther was trying to kiss Crystal. like that shot is. weird.

Why does Charles want the bird to be his friend and why is he not concerned about its living conditions

rope+ magic weight= OW

technically, since everyone else is only going off of Edwin's (and later Cat King's) word, they might think the snake is huge but realistic. do they know it's like fifty feet??

interesting that they show it takes multiple puffs of smoke to paralyze someone but later when she gets power from that rando ghost she does a whole ranged spell with the pipe because she is more powerful.

that is some weird and impractical snake jewelry on her hand.

MUSIC

appearance ONE of the BAT! he DOES NOT get to use it!

Edwin looks to be MORE bothered by the iron burn than Charles now that nobody is looking.

Do people normally get incapacitated when Crystal does her trick?? or is that special for this time?

I wonder what Crystal thinks watching this possession, since she just got possessed recently.

bag of worms?? not a thing

MONTY im tryna threaten some kids🥺

MUSIC

I guess the woods thing was believable bc she's a girl scout.

Also now that Becky's mind is wiped, she can't see the boys even though she has been close to the supernatural. I guess it would have worked on Jenny too if she chose that.

is now a good time to mention: I LOVE Crystal's weird-ass jacket. and she's wearing overalls again today, like in episode (six? I think?)

so now are they on David's case? I guess not lmao

The Night Nurse's hair is so funny to me. She is the only person who would ever think to wear victory rolls with a microfringe.

why are those photos so low-quality and why is the Afterlife Lost and Found a liminal '50s office building full of women?

[mimisempai]

 I don’t want to hide what you mean to me

Summary

During Hob's first visit to The Dreaming, provoked by Matthew with the help of Lucienne, Dream reveals the depth of his feelings for him.

Notes:

I have no idea if this is possible, so if not, imagine it's Hob's dream, but I love the possibility of them all interacting together. I hope you’ll enjoy it !

On Ao3

Rating T - 1216 words

"Boss, if you could take your eyes off your human for a moment and listen to what I have to say."

Dream turned his head to the raven on his shoulder, looking perfectly innocent, though inwardly annoyed because he knew exactly what Matthew was referring to.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, you chatty bird!"

Matthew croaked and didn't respond, as the answer was obvious from his perspective.

This was the first time Hob had ever set foot in the Dreaming and from the moment he had set foot in the library, Dream had lost him.

He was currently chatting with Lucienne in an animated way under Dream's gaze, secretly happy to see him becoming part of his world in this way.

This gossiping raven had been totally right, he was fascinated by his human.

Hob walked towards them under Lucienne's amused gaze and once in front of them, he said: "This is so exciting! All these books that are not finished in reality but dreamed by their authors. Lucienne told me that over there was the finished version of Dickens' The Mystery of Edwin Drood, so I'll just take a look at it and come back." 

He brushed Dream's shoulder with his hand as he passed and Dream followed him with his eyes, also with an amused look. Although he was fully aware that another scrutinizing look was staring at him, he tried to ignore it completely. 

But that was without counting on the sharp tongue of this bird of ill omen.

"Boss, if I may say so, you are literally drooling."

Reflexively, Dream wiped his mouth and then realizing he had just been fooled, he turned his head to Matthew and scolded him, "Matthew, if you keep this up, I promise you'll end up in the catalog of the most beautiful stuffed animals!"

Matthew had another little sarcastic croak before replying, "If I may, I'd like to ask you a question, one that intrigues me. What is it about a poor human like this that fascinates you so much?"

Dream, that the idea of stuffing Matthew attracted more and more, tried to control himself to answer him. But, offended on Hob's behalf, he couldn't help but answer in a passionate tone, a vindictive gleam in his eyes, "Hob is simply beyond belief! And you, as a former human, should realize that. He has accepted and continues to accept what life throws at him, he has probably experienced more lows than highs and yet he has never given up. He has incredible faith in life and even when it sends him things that would be unbearable for anyone else, when he could have the choice to stop everything, he has this incredible faith and hope that life still has so much to offer him."

He was interrupted by a small laugh, this time from Lucienne. When he looked at her, he saw that she winked at Matthew who flew off Dream's shoulder.

Dream looked at them in turn with a suspicious expression, "Hmph! Don't tell me that..."

Lucienne looked at him with a knowing smile before replying, "Let's just say it's nice to see when you're honest with your feelings, Sir but..." her face turned serious again as she continued, "If I may, don't forget that he's not perfect either, don't put him on a pedestal. It wouldn't be good for either you or him."

Dream appreciated Lucienne's concern. He deeply respected her judgment and she was probably one of the people who knew him best, even if he would never tell her.

He replied in the same serious tone, determined to convince her, "Oh, I know he's not perfect, I've witnessed his bad, sometimes very bad choices, but I've also witnessed everything he's done to become better and to fix his mistakes as best he could. I know that some choices still haunt him now. But he is genuine to the core, at least with me, because he is not afraid to show me his imperfections. Everything, his failures, his mistakes, his fears, his demons, he showed me without me having to search or enter his mind.  In fact, he is perfectly imperfect. Perfect for me in that sense."

Lucienne nodded before replying, "Thank you for your honesty, sir and forgive me if I overstepped my bounds."

Dream shook his head and said softly, "No, you don't have to apologize, thank you for caring about me and him. It took me a long time to realize it and I'm sorry, but I know now that you care. Thank you again."

At Matthew's caw, he looked up at the raven and called out, "You too, cheeky bird!"

Lucienne chuckled and said softly, "The Lord of Dreams has a heart and he's showing it, that would make a great book title for this library."

Dream shrugged because he knew it wasn't worth protesting, and for once, he didn't feel like it either.

But he said with a slight smile on his lips, "It's like that, it brings out the best in me." He paused and added with a falsely threatening look, "If you tell anyone I said that, I will deny it."

Lucienne smiled and replied with a mischievous tone, "I'll take it to my grave."

Turning to resume her work, she added, "I'm happy for you, sir Really." 

They nodded in mutual appreciation, then Lucienne walked away to the back of the library, followed by Matthew hovering over her as Dream followed them with his eyes.

"So... I'm not perfect?"

Two hands came to rest on his shoulders and slid down his chest.

"Hob!" Dream froze slightly, "Don't tell me you've..."

"...Heard everything?" completed Hob before answering himself, "Yes, I heard everything perfectly, from 'amazing' to 'perfect for you', I don't think I missed anything."

Dream couldn't see it, but he could hear in his voice that Hob was smiling.

"All right..." Dream couldn't help but blush slightly, he had gotten carried away defending Hob and didn't remember everything he had said, but enough to be a little embarrassed.

Hob kissed him on the neck and whispered, "Don't be embarrassed, it's kind of nice to hear you compliment me, although Matthew will be quick to tell Mervyn who will tell everyone and in a not at all subtle way. Everyone here is going to know that the Lord of Dreams is a softee, are you aware of that?"

Dream grunted as he imagined the gossip.

Then he turned into Hob's arms and saw that he was looking at him and smiling affectionately.

Hobs whispered, "Hi handsome..." then he raised his hand to brush Dream's cheek with his knuckles and continued, "Anyway, thank you for sticking up for me so fiercely."

Dream took his hand in his and replied softly, "I meant everything I said. Each word." 

Hob was too close to hide the embarrassment but also the pleasure his lover's praise had given him so Dream leaned in and gently pressed his lips to Hob's in a long, deep kiss. 

Before he let himself be carried away by the sweet passion of the moment, Dream told himself that he didn't care if his entire kingdom thought he was a sap, if it was to have Hob look at him like that every time.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Dreamling Masterlist here

[rajasthantourtaxi2]

Delhi Sightseeing Tour By Rajasthan Tour Taxi Company

Rajasthan Tour Taxi Company Offers A Delhi Sightseeing Tour Overview of the Delhi Tour of Sights With the Rajasthan Tour Taxi Company's Delhi Sightseeing Tour, discover India's energetic capital. This tour is designed to highlight this vibrant city's rich history, diverse culture, and stunning architecture.

Day 1: Getting to Delhi Rajasthan Tour Taxi Company extends a hearty welcome to visitors arriving at Delhi's Indira Gandhi International Airport or other specified place. After that, they are taken to their hotel so they may change and get ready for the fascinating sightseeing that lies ahead.

Day 2: Touring Old Delhi We start the day with a visit to Old Delhi, which includes a tour of the magnificent Red Fort. This famous fort, constructed by Emperor Shah Jahan, is a prime example of Mughal architecture. Visitors can discover the historical significance of the Diwan-i-Aam (Hall of Public Audience) and Diwan-i-Khas (Hall of Private Audience) while exploring them.

Jama Mosque Go visit Visit Jama Masjid, the largest mosque in India, which is renowned for its magnificent architecture and amazing courtyard, after that. For sweeping views of the busy streets of Old Delhi, visitors can ascend the minarets.

Ride in a Rickshaw in Chandni Chowk Take a classic cycle rickshaw ride to see the colorful energy of Chandni Chowk, one of Delhi's busiest and oldest markets. Discover tiny streets brimming with jewelry shops, spice shops, and street food vendors selling regional specialties.

Day 3: Highlights of New Delhi Discover New Delhi by beginning with a trip to India Gate, a tribute to Indian troops who lost their lives in World War I. Visitors are welcome to roam about the famous building and take in the verdant lawns.

Drive by Parliament House, which was created by Sir Edwin Lutyens in the Lutyens' Delhi architectural style, and the towering Rashtrapati Bhavan, which serves as the official house of the President of India.

The Tomb of Humayun See Humayun's Tomb, a magnificent example of Mughal architecture with Persian influences and a UNESCO World Heritage site. Visitors are welcome to explore the exquisite mausoleum and lovely grounds that served as the Taj Mahal's design inspiration.

Qutub Minar Investigation Visit Qutub Minar, the world's tallest brick minaret, to round up the day. While learning about its historical significance, visitors can take in the exquisite architecture and carvings.

In summary Offering a thorough examination of both Old and New Delhi, the Rajasthan Tour Taxi Company's Delhi Sightseeing Tour gives visitors an understanding of India's rich historical and cultural legacy. This tour is perfect for first-timers, history buffs, and photographers as it promises to be an amazing experience.

ALSO READ

Born in Wyncote, Pennsylvania, on May 18, 1946, as Reginald Martinez Jackson, Reggie Jackson is a renowned former professional baseball player. His distinguished Major League Baseball (MLB) career, which he spent mostly with the Oakland Athletics and the New York Yankees, is what made him most famous.

Known by his nickname "Mr. October," Jackson rose to prominence in postseason play, especially during the World Series, for his clutch efforts. He was a notable player in the 1970s and 1980s, a time noted for its competitive baseball and legendary players, thanks to his strong hitting and captivating demeanor.

In 1967, Jackson signed a Major League Baseball contract with the Kansas City/Oakland Athletics, where he rapidly made a name for himself as a strong outfielder and power hitter. In 1973, he was named the World Series MVP. He was a key player in the Athletics' three straight World Series victories from 1972 to 1974.

As a free agent, Reggie Jackson joined the New York Yankees in 1976, where he remained one of the game's best sluggers. When Jackson blasted three home runs in a single game in the series-clinching Game 6 of the 1977 World Series, he cemented his reputation as "Mr. October" and won another World Series. This marked the end of Jackson's Yankees career.

Jackson was well-known for his remarkable career numbers, which included 563 home runs, several All-Star selections, and 1993 entrance into the Baseball Hall of Fame. He is still regarded as a respected member of the baseball community despite his on-field achievements because of his magnetic presence and influence on the game.

Following his retirement, Reggie Jackson has worked in baseball in a variety of roles, such as broadcasting, coaching, and philanthropy. Generations of baseball fans and aspiring sportsmen are still motivated by his reputation as a Hall of Fame player and World Series hero.

Reggie Jackson is remembered by baseball fans for his accomplishments, standout moments, and long-lasting influence on the league.

[thatsdree]

Parting (G/t oneshot)

Edwin sat on the edge of one of the shelves in the greenhouse, patiently waiting. He hoped that she got his note that he left on her bedside table to meet here at sunset. He didn't have much time until his mother finished packing their belongings. Through the greenhouse's glass walls, he could see the sun sinking below the horizon. He fiddled with the vines that dangled from one of the plants above him. What if she didn't get the message?

It was beginning to get late, and Edwin had already stayed longer than he originally intended. He sighed as he hung his head, looking down at the dirt ground below him. Just as he was about to get up from where he was sitting, he heard the creaking of rusty hinges. Glancing at the entrance, Edwin saw a girl with long golden locks peeking from behind the door of the greenhouse. She wore a lavender-colored dress with a skirt that fell below her knees and frilled sleeves that covered her shoulders.

"Phoebe! Over here!" The borrower scrambled onto his feet and jumped up and down, waving his arms from the shelf.

"Ed!" She ran over to the other side of the greenhouse and held her hands out to him. Edwin promptly climbed into the bean's palms and she brought him down from the shelf, closer to her freckled face.

A grin grew on his face as he locked eyes with her dark green gaze. "You came to see me one last time!"

The human beamed back warmly and nodded. "Of course I did! Why wouldn't I?" Tears began to fill her eyes.

"I thought you never wanted to see me again...after everything that happened in the past few days," he grabbed at the edges of his shirt.

The girl brought her thumb out to brush the borrower's brown hair away from his face. "I know I didn't take the news well. But I promise I wasn't upset with you. I was upset that it was out of my control."

Edwin nodded. Tears begin to fill his eyes as well. He wished that things happened differently. Maybe if he wasn't so careless, he wouldn't have been spotted by the other beans. Maybe if his mother never found out, they wouldn't have to leave.

"You know, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you stayed. I've never seen my father be this happy. He was fascinated by the thought of little people living in our house."

"Oh, do I wish it was that simple. But my mother is still afraid of human beans. She wouldn't want to break the rules that us borrowers always follow."

"Maybe you should introduce her to me! And she can eventually meet my dad. Not all of us humans are bad. I think we would all enjoy each others' company."

"Yeah, I guess we would," Edwin spoke sorrowfully as he placed his tiny hands on Phoebe's thumb. "But what would they think about us?"

The two became silent. Neither of them said it aloud, but they knew that their relationship would be judged if anyone else ever found out. Edwin knew that his mother would be beyond horrified, and he had no idea how Phoebe's father would react. He was already acting crazy after he saw Edwin on the kitchen windowsill, so what would he think if he found out that the same tiny boy was seeing his daughter? Either way, it was unheard of for a borrower to fall in love with a human.

When Edwin looked back up at Phoebe, she had the same melancholy expression on her face. He knew that she was thinking the exact same thing. "I'm going to miss this place. I've lived here for as long as I can remember."

"And I'm going to miss you," Phoebe spoke softly. "I remember seeing you sneak around the house for as long as I can remember." She brought the borrower close to her chest, hugging his tiny frame.

"Me too," Edwin responded as he stretched his arms out to reach as much of her as he could.

Phoebe brought down one of her hands to reach into her pocket. "I'm sorry I came late to see you, I was looking around to find this to give it to you." She held a small brown cloth pouch between her index finger and thumb, placing it on her other palm in front of where the borrower was standing.

Edwin took the bag and peeked inside to find long black pellets. "What are these?"

"Those are daisy seeds. You can plant them in your new home, and you'll always have a small part of this place with you."

Edwin closed the bag. "Thank you," He said as he blushed. "I- should've brought one last gift for you, but I had no idea if you would show up." He began to dig through his pockets and satchel.

"Oh, don't worry about me! You've given me plenty of gifts. Just worry about all of the other things you need to take to your new home."

The borrower eventually pulled out a wood carving of a bird from one of his pockets. "Here, something to remember me. I made it myself."

Phoebe took the tiny wooden bird from Edwin's hands with her fingers and squinted her eyes to get a better look. "Ed, you shouldn't give this to me!"

"Please keep it! I was already thinking about giving it to you."

"This is beautiful. I'll cherish it." She carefully placed it in her pocket.

The two of them longingly stared at each other in the dim sunlight. "So, this is it? Is this goodbye?" Her face softened with sadness.

Edwin thought long and hard. This couldn't be it. He couldn't leave just like that. It was going to be over soon. He sniffled as he began to cry again. "I...I don't know. But I don't want it to be." he spoke in between sobs. The realization didn't set in until this moment. He was so consumed by the thought of packing everything he could take to fully accept that he might never see her again.

Phoebe looked down silently, processing the words that the borrower just said. She then slowly brought her hands back up to the shelf of the greenhouse. "Then I'll let you be on your way, then. And before I keep you waiting any longer."

As Edwin stepped off of her palms to return back to the shelf, he quickly turned around. "Wait! Come closer."

Phoebe brought her face closer to where the borrower was standing. Gosh, she was so pretty, he thought as his face reddened. Edwin placed his hands gently on her nose. "I'm going to come back. I don't know how, but I will see you again." He lightly planted a kiss on the tip of her nose, watching her green eyes slowly widen. He quickly spun around on his feet to run away.

Before he could take another step, he felt fingers wrap around his frame and lift him away from the shelf. "Woah!" he yelped, finding himself in Phoebe's palms once again.

She blushed as she brought the borrower closer to her lips, planting a kiss on the side of his cheek.

When she looked back down at Edwin, she found him lying in her hands, red like a tomato and completely flustered. She giggled at the sight.

Edwin stood back up and placed his hands around Phoebe's cheeks and kissed her soft lips.

After he slowly pulled away, the two of them locked eyes. "Until next time," Edwin said. Phoebe nodded and smiled. "I'll see you later." She placed him back on top of the shelf full of plants and watched the borrower disappear into the greenery.

* * *

More G/t Oneshots (blog navigation)

[burningdarkfire]

2022 mid year reading wrap up

hello i invented this for myself by throwing together the things i want to talk about the most 😎

general progress:

i have read 105 books out of my goal of 120. this is a lot! most of the “extra” count comes from graphic novels, novellas, manga, etc. which i have read a lot more of this year

included in the above are 50 novels, which is exactly on pace

i had the goal in 2022 to read one book per month randomly picked from my tbr, which has been going great,

and the goal to read one book per month from the physical books that i own but haven’t read yet, and that has been going uhhh not as great. i’m only one book behind but reading books physically is hard since i do a lot of reading either at work or commuting to and from the office

list of new 5*s so far in 2022 that i would highly recommend:

A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske - a historical fantasy romance which reads like a fanfiction in all the best ways possible

Jade War by Fonda Lee - a sorta historical urban fantasy that has some of the best world-building i’ve ever read

Jade Legacy by Fonda Lee - ditto, solid finish to the above series

She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan - a historical fantasy retelling that has some of my absolute favourite characters and relationships of this year. the gender is off the charts. i am obsessed with the deuteragonist and the toxic trio of men in this book that no one ever talks about when pitching it but who are very spectacular

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke - a fantasy where the first few chapters absolutely blew my mind with how beautifully it was written

Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore - a VERY fun genre-bendy YA book that i don’t want to say much about because i think it’s better blind

At Night All Blood is Black by David Diop - a historical war fiction, which is a genre i honestly usually hate so it says a lot about how absolutely fascinating this was. great poc perspective

[honorary mention] The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson - a fantasy that i only gave 4* but i would always recommend to people who have similar SFF tastes to me

list of other 5*s that are rereads or just severe blorbo syndrome:

Critical Role: The Mighty Nein Origins: Caleb Widogast by Jody Houser

The Wicked + The Divine by Kieron Gillen, Jamie McKelvie

Heartstopper: Volume One by Alice Oseman

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Jujutsu Kaisen: Volume 9 by Gege Akutami

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

most disappointing reads of the year so far:

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston - months later and i’m literally still so annoyed at the ending of this book lol don’t get me started i will rant for 20 minutes

How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu - this was foolish “bought into the marketing” hype on my end. don’t let anyone tell you that this is like cloud atlas because it is not like cloud atlas. also personally i feel like this was a weird book to publish quote unquote after covid

Portrait of a Thief by Grace D. Li - i truly think some writers just need to be told no. because grace d. li’s writing is good (especially for a debut) but the heist frame of this story is the most incomprehensible thing ever and i can’t believe anyone thought this was a good idea

most unique reads of the year so far:

Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore - deserves another shout out here though i mentioned it already above!

Death in Her Hands by Ottessa Moshfegh - literary fiction that’s kind of horror-y, kind of mystery-y. a book that really doesn’t hand you any answers

The Seventh Perfection by Daniel Polansky - fantasy novella with a neat structure. highly recommend taking notes while reading this one, i did and it was a great way of being engaged

Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions by Edwin A. Abbott - satire but make it math but make it eldritch horror. the entire thing is narrated by a square, just to give you an idea

anticipated reads for the end of the year:

Babel, or The Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators' Revolution by R.F. Kuang - dropping the full title out of respect 😤 standalone historical fantasy from the author of the poppy war trilogy .. yes please!!

Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - third book in the locked tomb series. i am rereading in preparation and i eagerly await the insanity

Locklands by Robert Jackson Bennett - third and final book in the founders trilogy. there have truly never been books that are more written for me and i’m fascinated to see how this will end

[letterboxd]

Savage Cinema.

From anarchists and adultery to milk baths and massacres, Matthew Turner shares five of the weirdest and wildest highlights of Hollywood’s pre-Code era, as #PreCodeApril comes to a close.

Pre-Code April was directly inspired by Noirvember, a month-long celebration of noir cinema instigated by Marya Gates (Oldfilmsflicker). I did Noirvember for the first time in November 2019, really enjoyed it, and thought it would be great to do the same thing for pre-Code movies. Although I’ve watched most of the classic 1930s films, I realised there were a huge number of pre-Code films I’d never seen (of my Letterboxd list of over 900 Pre-Code films, I have only seen 200).

As a sucker for a bit of wordplay, no matter how tenuous, I picked April partly because it’s six months away from Noirvember and partly because of the shared “pr” sound in April and Pre-Code. I’ve been absolutely delighted by the response—the #PreCodeApril hashtag on Twitter is a daily treasure trove of pre-Code-related joy, but I was genuinely thrilled to see the response on Letterboxd (here is my watchlist for the month). It’s been a real pleasure to see pre-Code movies constantly popping up in my ‘new from friends’ feed. My hope is that it’ll be even bigger next year—and that maybe TCM will want to get involved, the way they do with Noirvember.

Produced between 1929 and 1934, pre-Code cinema refers to films made in a brief period between the silent era, and Hollywood beginning to enforce the Motion Picture Production Code censorship guidelines (mandatory enforcement came in from July 1934). The “Code” in question was popularly known as the Hays Code, after then MPPDA president Will H. Hays. As the depression set in and box office declined, theater owners needed fare that would drive cinema-goers to the movies. It was a wild time to be a scriptwriter; they threw everything at the page, designers added even more, and actors played out the kinds of scenes, from the suggestive to the overt, that would otherwise be banned for decades to come.

The following five films demonstrate some of Hollywood’s craziest pre-Code excesses. They’re still jaw-dropping, even by today’s standards, and notably give female characters an agency that would be later denied as the Christian morals of the Code overruled writers’ kinks.

Madam Satan (1930) Directed by Cecil B. DeMille, written by Elsie Janis, Jeanie Macpherson and Gladys Unger

A critical and commercial flop in 1930, Cecil B. DeMille’s utterly insane musical comedy stars Kay Johnson as a straight-laced wife who plots to win back her unfaithful husband (Reginald Denny) by seducing him at a costume party, disguised as a mysterious devil woman. The location of this party? Oh, nothing too fancy, just on board a giant zeppelin. (“Madam Satan or: How the Film gets Fucking Crazy on the Blimp,” as Ryan reviewed it.)

Madam Satan is not by any stretch of the imagination a good movie (the editing alone is laughably bad), but as a piece of pre-Code craziness, it really has to be seen to be believed. Co-written by a trio of women and set in just three locations, it goes from racy bedroom farce to avant-garde musical to full-on disaster movie after a bolt of lightning hits the blimp.

The film is justly celebrated (in camp classic circles, at least) for the wildly over-the-top costumes paraded in the masquerade ball sequence, but there’s weird outfit joy everywhere you look. Keep an eye out for an enterprising extra who’s come dressed as a set of triplets.

Call Her Savage (1932) Directed by John Francis Dillon, written by Tiffany Thayer and Edwin J. Burke

Adapted from a salacious novel by Tiffany Thayer, Call Her Savage was former silent star Clara Bow’s second-to-last film before her retirement at the age of 28. She plays Texas gal Nasa Springer, who’s always had a “savage” temper she can’t explain. In the space of 88 minutes she goes from wild teenager to jilted newlywed to young mother to prostitute to wealthy society girl to alcoholic before finally (it’s implied) settling down with her Native-American friend after discovering that she’s half-Native-American, something the audience has known all along.

Bow’s performance is frankly astonishing, to the point where you simply can’t believe what you’re seeing from one moment to the next. Sample scenes see her savagely whipping both a snake and her Indian friend, smashing a guitar over a musician’s head and violently wrestling her Great Dane… and that’s all in the first five minutes. She’s also frequently in a state of near undress throughout—one funny scene has her maids chasing her with a dressing gown because they’re afraid she’ll run down the street in her négligée.

The rest of the film includes alcohol, adultery, strong violence, attempted rape, murder, syphilis (not named, but heavily implied) and baby death. It’s a veritable smorgasbord of outrageous content and Bow is pure dynamite throughout. The film is also noted for being one of the first on-screen portrayals of homosexuality, when Nasa visits a gay bar in the Village frequented by “wild poets and anarchists”.

Smarty (1934) Directed by Robert Florey, written by Carl Erickson and F. Hugh Herbert

This deeply problematic sex comedy features pre-Code stars Joan Blondell and Warren William (often nicknamed ‘The King of Pre-Code’) at their absolute filthiest. Blondell plays Vicki, a capricious, happily married wife who gets an obvious kick out of taunting her husband, Tony (William). When he cracks and slaps her at a party, she divorces him and marries her lawyer, Vernon (Edward Everett Horton), whom she also goads into slapping her in a deliberate ploy to win back Tony.

Essentially, Smarty hinges on Vicki liking rough sex and it’s completely blatant about it, ending with her sighing “Hit me again” (the film’s UK title!) as they sink into a clinch on a couch, a rapturous expression on her face. It’s a controversial film because on the surface it looks like it’s condoning domestic violence, but it’s very clearly about Vicki’s openly expressed sexual desires—she wants to be punished and dominated, she just has a rather dodgy way of getting what she wants.

It might be unsophisticated, but in some ways Smarty is remarkably ahead of its time and ripe for rediscovery. To that end, it would make a fascinating double bill with Stephen Shainberg’s Secretary (2002). Oh, and it’s also chock-full of lingerie scenes (like most pre-Code films), if you like that sort of thing.

Massacre (1934) Directed by Alan Crosland, written by Sheridan Gibney, Ralph Block and Robert Gessner

Several pre-Code films (notably those made by Warner Bros) took a no-punches-pulled approach to their depiction of social issues, and star Richard Barthelmess actively sought out such projects. Here he plays Joe Thunderhorse, a Native American who’s become famous on the rodeo circuit. When he returns to his tribe to bury his father, he ends up fighting for their rights, taking on corrupt government officials and religious authorities.

Massacre is fascinating because on the one hand it’s wildly insensitive—Barthelmess and co-star Ann Dvorak are both cast as Native Americans—but on the other, it burns with a righteous fury and does more than any other Hollywood film (before or since) to champion the rights and highlight the injustices dealt out to Native Americans. That fury is encapsulated in a horrifying and rightly upsetting rape scene (it happens off-screen, but the cuts leave you in no doubt) that the film handles with surprising sensitivity.

In addition to being a passionate fight against racism and social injustice, the film also has some genuinely shocking sexual content. Most notably, Joe is seen making love to a rich white woman (Claire Dodd, who’s also in Smarty) who has an obvious sexual fetish, flaunting him in front of her friends and making a shrine in her room with Native-American paraphernalia.

The Sign of the Cross (1932) Directed by Cecil B. DeMille, written by Waldemar Young and Sidney Buchman

Yes, this is Cecil B. DeMille again, but no list of weird and wild pre-Code films would be complete without the jaw-dropping ancient Rome epic, The Sign of the Cross. Adapted from an 1895 play by Wilson Barrett, it stars Frederic March as Marcus Superbus (stop sniggering at the back there), who’s torn between his loyalty to Emperor Nero (Charles Laughton) and his love for a Christian woman (Elissa Landi), while also fending off the advances of the Emperor’s wife, Poppaea (Claudette Colbert).

The film is racy enough in its sexual content alone: highlights include the famous scene of Claudette Colbert taking a nude milk bath and an erotic “lesbian” dance sequence, where Joyzelle Joyner’s “most wicked and talented woman in Rome” does ‘The Dance of the Naked Moon’ at Frederic March’s orgy, trying to tempt Landi’s virtuous Christian, to the obvious arousal of the gathered guests.

However, it’s the climactic gladiatorial-arena sequence that will leave your jaw on the floor. Lasting around twelve minutes, it includes: someone getting eaten by a tiger, a tied-up, naked women being approached by hungry crocodiles, pygmies getting chopped up by female barbarians, elephants stomping on heads, a gorilla approaching a naked woman tied to a stake, a man getting gored by a bull, and gladiators fighting to the death, complete with blood and gory injury detail.

The whole thing is genuinely horrifying, even for 2021. Best of all, DeMille pointedly critiques the audience (ourselves included), by showing a series of reaction shots ranging from intense enjoyment to abject seen-it-all-before boredom.

Matthew Turner (FilmFan1971) is a critic, author, podcaster and lifelong film fanatic. His favorite film is ‘Vertigo’. The films in this article are also listed here: Five of the Pre-Code Era’s Most Outrageous Films.

[fibula-rasa]

12 Christmas Films of a Century Past

For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to watch somewhere around 50 Christmas and Christmas-adjacent silent films from before 1920 to put together a playlist for you all. So, I hope you enjoy!

I chose these twelve as a representative selection. My general criteria were:

Christmas should be central to the story

The plot should be novel to a modern viewer or something a modern viewer would be surprised to see so early on film

The list on the whole should have a variety of settings and narrative structures

Here’s a direct link to the YouTube playlist if you want to watch them all in one go. (They are all shorter than feature length!)

Two quick presentation notes: 1. Some of the videos have music and some don’t, so you may want to check your volume level. 2. The intertitles for some of these films are not in English, so be sure you have captions turned on for English translations.

See the whole list BELOW THE JUMP!

1. Santa Claus (1898) (UK)

Directed by George Albert Smith

Short and sweet, this film sees children put to bed by their nanny on Christmas Eve and Santa Claus coming down the chimbley to fill their dutifully hung stockings. Director G.A. Smith used his own patented technique of double exposure to show Santa’s arrival without cutting away from the children’s room. Santa Claus might not pack the punch of a Méliès trick film, but it’s a fun novelty and is purportedly the first appearance of Santa Claus on film.

2. The Little Match Seller (1902) (UK)

Directed by James Williamson

This one’s quick but effective adaptation of the Hans Christian Anderson tragedy featuring impressively well-coordinated superimpositions.

3. The Christmas Angel (1904) (FR)

Directed by George Méliès for Star Film Company

The Christmas Angel follows an impoverished girl driven into the city to beg on a snowy winter night. First she’s chased away from a church by more seasoned beggars; then she’s thrown out of a poultry seller and harassed by police. On the verge of falling asleep in the snow, a rag-and-bone man rouses her and offers her help. Later, the girl passes out beside a road but is luckily spotted by a wealthy couple on a car ride. When they learn of her plight, they bring her home along with food and gifts.

Though not as fantastical as some of Méliès’ more famous works, The Christmas Angel is still highly stylized (and stylish) and features special effects that photograph beautifully. It’s also worth noting that the version of the film included here is the American cut. The original French cut, titled Détresse et Charité (Distress and Charity), did not include the sequence with the wealthy couple and instead ends with the girl dying in the snow.

4. The Night Before Christmas (1905) (US)

Directed by Edwin S. Porter for Edison Manufacturing Company

This is the first time the poem “Twas the Night Before Christmas” was put on film. Loosely following the poem, we see Santa Claus prepare for his yearly trek while a middle-class family prepares for his visit. When Santa heads out, we are treated to an extended panning sequence with a fully painted backdrop for a mini Santa and his reindeer to glide across. When Santa arrives at the family home, he chaotically dumps presents and decorations around their living room and makes a large, decorated tree appear out of thin air. (Across many of the movies I watched to put this post together, this seems to be a favored scenario for the jolly fat man around this time–and it’s delightful.) The family then wakes to find their gifts and the film closes with Santa directly wishing us a Merry Christmas.

5. A Little Girl Who Did Not Believe in Santa Claus (1907) (US)

Directed by J. Searle Dawley and Edwin S. Porter for Edison Manufacturing Company

Even at the risk of this list being too Edison heavy, I couldn’t leave this great short out. While walking with his mother, a rich little boy encounters a poor little girl alone in the cold. They take her home to play and warm up. When the boy learns that the girl doesn’t believe in Santa because apparently Santa doesn’t visit poor children, he hatches a scheme. On Christmas Eve, the boy has a stake out near the fireplace and takes Santa hostage, tying him up and holding him at gunpoint. The boy then forces Santa to visit the girl–going so far as shimmying down the chimney himself to let Santa in the front door. When the girl wakes up to a beautifully decorated tree, new toys, and a full stocking, she can finally believe in Santa Claus. While I’m generally not so into stories about supposedly benevolent rich people, I do love the implications this story has on how Santa Claus works and I also find the means with which the boy gets his way hilarious.

6. Il Natale di Cretinetti / Foolshead’s Christmas (1909) (IT)

and Come fu che l’ingordigia rovino il Natale di Cretinetti / How Greediness Spoilt Foolshead’s Christmas (1910)

and Il Natale di Cretinetti (1911)

Directed by Andre Deed for Itala Film

This entry is a three-for, which I hope you’ll excuse, but I couldn’t decide which Cretinetti Christmas to share! Cretinetti, the comedic persona of filmmaker Andre Deed, is an absolute agent of chaos.

In the 1909 film, Cretinetti attempts to bring a tree home for a Christmas party. The destruction escalates wildly, culminating in an entire building falling to pieces.

If you can believe it, the stakes are even higher in the 1910 film, when Cretinetti can’t resist sneaking out of bed on Christmas Eve to snack on the candy decorating the tree. When Santa sees what Cretinetti has done, he chides him and takes him back to his workshop, which is apparently in heaven. Destruction ensues. Cretinetti then proceeds to cause havoc for Saint Peter, annoying god so much that he calls the devil to come get Cretinetti. Cretinetti is then chased to hell where demons try to cook him alive. Thankfully, spoiler alert, it was all a bad dream and he wakes up on Christmas morning with a terrible stomach ache.

The 1911 film returns to localized chaos. Cretinetti has a run-in with a mail carrier and his Christmas packages get mixed up with one of the carrier’s parcels. The parcel contains three bottles of ether which then begin to emit gasses in the middle of the family Christmas party.

I wasn’t familiar with Cretinetti before reviewing films for this list, but I’m definitely going to seek out more of Deed’s movies. Each of these films had well-executed chaotic slapstick; over-the-top in all the right ways.

7. Making Christmas Crackers (1910) (UK)

Produced by Cricks & Martin Films for Clarke, Nickolls, & Coombs Confectionery

To start, if you’re not sure what a Christmas cracker is, it’s a colorfully decorated paper tube that makes a cracking noise as you pull it open. Inside the tube is a paper hat, a joke, and/or a small toy. It’s a traditional part of UK Christmas celebrations.

This short starts as a documentary of the workers at Clarke, Nickolls, & Coombs constructing the crackers. It’s a fun thought that as early as 1910, people were interested in watching how mass-produced consumer goods were made. It’s also fun to see these skilled workers ply their trade so deftly (even though I’m sure wages and working conditions were less than ideal). The film ends with a family celebrating around a Christmas tree topped with a functional giant cracker.

8. A Christmas Carol (1910) (US)

Directed by J. Searle Dawley for Edison Films Manufacturing Company

There are so so so many film adaptations of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol made before 1920 that it was hard to choose which one to include on this list. In the end I chose this 1910 version for its economy of storytelling, fluid use of special effects, and for Marc McDermott’s great performance as Scrooge.

9. Broncho Billy’s Christmas Dinner (1911) (US)

Directed by Gilbert M. Anderson (Broncho Billy) for The Essanay Film Manufacturing Company

Gilbert M. Anderson was an incredibly prolific and popular filmmaker and star of early American film, particularly in his role as Broncho Billy. As was typical for Anderson, he’s pulling triple duty on Broncho Billy’s Christmas Dinner as the star, director, and producer. The film features a simple and heartwarming story.

On Christmas, Billy comes across a young woman in peril as her horses got startled and are now pulling her cart along wildly. Billy manages to wrangle the horses and in gratitude she invites him to Christmas dinner at her parents’ home. Unfortunately, her father happens to be the sheriff. But, all is well, as it turns out that Broncho Billy’s been given a pardon and the sheriff welcomes him to the table gladly.

The enduring appeal of outlaws or criminals getting into the Christmas spirit is fascinating to me and it’s cool to see such an early instance of the story!

10. Le Noel de la princesse / The Little Princess’s XMas Gift (1911) (FR)

Produced by Société Générale des Cinématographes Éclipse

In all honesty, this is the least Christmassy of all the films I included here, but its style and novelty stood out. The sets, costuming, and production design are lush. It might also be one of the weirdest Christmas stories I’ve even encountered.

After Lord Othberg passes away, the conniving Otto plans to assassinate the baby prince in order to inherit the lordship himself. He poisons the baby, but the princess prays for her baby brother to come back to life as her Christmas gift. An angel appears to her and they summon Jesus, who resurrects her baby brother. Of course, they then place the revivified baby in the castle’s nativity scene, to the joy of all but Otto.

11. Ida’s Christmas (1912) (US)

Directed by Van Dyke Brooke for Vitagraph Company of America

With a more classic Christmassy story, Ida’s Christmas tells us of a family who are facing hard times. Ida (played by a very small Dolores Costello) has her eyes on a pricey doll. Meanwhile, her mother seeks out employment with a wealthy family. The matriarch of the wealthy family overhears Ida’s wish and decides to buy the doll for her as a surprise. Later, Ida is distraught to find that the doll has been purchased but comes across a wallet that someone has dropped. She considers taking the money, but chases down the owner instead. The old man gives her some reward money for returning the wallet. Ida rushes to see if she can buy the doll, but has second thoughts when she thinks about how much her family could use the money. She arrives home with the money just in time for a Santa-esque old man to show up bearing packages and an assurance that the wealthy family has work for her father. The film ends with the family celebrating an unexpectedly Merry Christmas.

It’s a sweet story that hits so many beats of what we now consider traditional Christmas tales.

12. Rozhdestvo obitateley lesa / The Insect’s Christmas (1913) (RU)

Directed by Władysław Starewicz for Khanzhonkov

Fair warning, if you thought The Princess’s XMas Gift was odd, you might need to ready yourself for this one. Stop-motion virtuoso Władysław Starewicz (Ladislas Starevich) spins a tale about a tiny ornament of Santa/Ded Moroz coming to life on Christmas and going out into the wild to bring Christmas joy to creatures small and smaller, including a frog and a ladybug. Starewicz’s animation is as impeccable as ever and the short is imaginative and quirky.

[maddie-grove]

Little Book Review: Sin Eater

Author: Megan Campisi.

Publication Date: 2020.

Genre: Alternate historical fiction (?).

Premise: Strap in, y'all, because this is complicated. May Owens, an orphaned teen laundress in Fake Elizabethan London, is arrested for stealing a loaf of bread. Expecting to be hanged, she's instead sentenced to be a Sin Eater for life. This means hearing confessions from the dying and then eating foods that symbolize their sins off their coffins. There are various other unpleasant requirements--speaking to no one except when hearing confessions, being forced to wear a non-removable collar, getting one's tongue tattooed, social ostracism, eternal damnation if one doesn't do everything right--but it does come with free room and board. Then the Sin Eater who's supposed to be mentoring May gets tortured to death. Why? A deer heart (symbolizing the murder of royalty) appeared on the coffin of a deceased lady-in-waiting, and the mentor wouldn't eat it because the lady-in-waiting had confessed to no such thing. Can May figure out what the hell is going on, adjust to her weird new life, and address a bunch of lingering childhood trauma?

Thoughts: Sin-eating, as depicted in this novel, never existed in Britain. Campisi was inspired to write this novel by a real-world tradition that started in and near Wales as early as the seventeenth century, but died out completely by the 1920s. Accounts vary as to how socially stigmatizing it was to be a sin eater; at best, they were poor, disreputable people doing a low-status job, and, at worst, they were feared and despised as people who had traded away their immortal souls and possibly consorted with demons. However, it was definitely not an island-wide, state-sanctioned role that people were officially sentenced to; it didn't require body modification, nor was it solely assigned to women.

In short, Campisi has created a fictional tradition that technically could have existed in Elizabethan London (as it doesn't involve magic or technology that didn't exist at the time), but demonstrably did not. This puts her in an interesting position that most historical fiction and fantasy writers don't find themselves in, because she has the following options:

Write a straightforward historical novel that just happens to have this one weird, fictional thing going on, with no further explanation. This would probably be the easiest option, but she either has to put an awkward author's note at the beginning or run the risk of readers thinking she knows jack shit about Elizabethan London.

Write an alternate history novel in which she explains how her version of sin-eating came to be in Elizabethan London. (Off the top of my head: Welsh people brought the tradition to London and other parts of England after migrating, but it only caught on in a big way as a response to the Black Death, during which time it developed distinctly English characteristics. The pious Henry VI was the first monarch to officially recognize it; however, the crueler official requirements didn't come about until the reign of Henry VIII, for reasons similar to the passing of the Tudor Poor Laws. Edward VI tried to ban it, but Mary I brought it back with a vengeance. Now it's allowed, but only because Elizabeth I branded it as an Anglican thing.) I think this makes for an interesting setting, but it is a lot of work for a story that's really just about one regular girl and some Tudor drama.

Write a story that takes place in a world that's similar in some ways to Elizabethan England (geography, level of technology, etc.), yet is substantially different. Maybe there's a young reigning queen, but she's not the often-disfavored daughter of a king with six wives; instead, maybe she had seven brothers who all died untimely deaths. Maybe the country's been torn apart by decades of religious conflict, but sin-eating is at the heart of the conflict instead of Fake Catholicism vs. Fake Protestantism. This might actually be the most organic way to handle things, but it does put the book in a weird place, genre-wise; people who want to read straight-up historical fiction won't be into it, and people who want to read fantasy might be put off by the lack of magic.

Any of these are better options than what Campisi chose, which is an unholy union between #1 and #3. Sin Eater is set in a world that's almost identical to Elizabethan London, except that (a) Campisi's version of sin-eating exists and (b) everybody has slightly different names. Instead of Queen Elizabeth, we have Queen Bethany, the daughter of King Harold II and his second wife Alys Bollings. She had an older sister named Maris, daughter of Harold II's first wife Constanza of Castile, who was a Eucharist. Harold II's third wife was named Jennette Cheney, whom you might think had a son named Edwin or whatever, but no, she had no children. What. You might also think that Jennette had a brother named Titus Cheney, who married Harold II's sixth wife and widow Katryna Park or whatever, but also no. He was named Titus Seymaur (no relation?) and he was married to Katryna...Parr. Confused yet? Because God is always called the Maker, and clergy are always Maker-men who preach sermons in Maker-halls, but Judas is still Judas and Eve is still Eve. Also, Roma people are called "eg*psies" (honestly, if you're going to make up a stupid word, at least use the opportunity to make it not a slur); it's something of a relief that the Jewish characters are just Jews. Oh, and the whole thing takes place in Angland.

This is some of the most irritating, distracting world-building I've ever encountered. It doesn't help that the only reason for the fake Tudor drama is a rather tired, mean-spirited mystery involving Queen Elizabeth/Bethany's secret baby and Katryna/Katherine Parr's long-lost daughter. And it's a shame, because when the story focuses on May--a lonely, angry, scared girl struggling to do the right thing and make a place for herself in the world--it's emotionally compelling. Her mixed feelings towards the fellow outcasts who start squatting in her home are particularly well-done, as are her encounters with religious outsiders. The mechanics of sin-eating are also fascinating; I liked seeing May visit dying people of various ages and stations in life. I think a person without my exact pet peeves would enjoy this novel a lot more, but it still wouldn't be great.

Hot Goodreads Take: There are many criticisms of this novel that I agree with, such as bad world-building, a weak mystery, a sophomoric understanding of religion, and gratuitous unpleasantness. (I love the dark, I love slippery things, but there was no reason for the tongue tattoo except to drive home that this whole thing sucks for May. I did not need to be further convinced!) There are also criticisms that I get, even if I don't feel the same way; for instance, I like the weird, bitter heroine, but I understand that she's not for everyone. On the other hand, one reviewer states, "I also didn’t care or need to know about the author’s childcare arrangements that she acknowledges at the end of her book." Like...cool, reviewer, but I don't think you understand the point of acknowledgments. They're to thank people. Are you going to complain that you "don't care that the book was manufactured in America, as the copyright page says"?

[that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

Rated T for 1,107 words of EdWin FWP (Fluff Without Plot)

Summary: Edward would never read romance novels...in front of other people. He and Winry get into an argument over romance novels and somehow end up kissing. Except that they've never kissed before. So they're terrified. But then, what better to ward off terror than the need to avoid losing an argument?

A/N: Based on this prompt list of common misquoted idioms I made

Alphonse thought he'd settle in with his copy of Specialized and Little-Known Transmutations, 10th edition on the living room couch. After all, some light reading was in order that afternoon. What he did not expect to come across was a copy of Wrench to My Heart. What he expected even less was seeing it in his brother's hands. Surely there was no harm in inquiring about Edward's reading materials.

"What are you reading, Brother?"

Ed leaped out of his skin and hastily shoved the book into the seat cushion behind his back. "Nothing! Why do you think I was reading? I can't read!"

Al stared at him with a raised eyebrow until he realized his blunder.

"I mean. I only read alchemic texts. Most other stuff is just too boring. Except for comic books, maybe." Ed suddenly found everything in the room fascinating except Alphonse.

"So you're telling me that 'Wrench to my Heart' is an alchemic text."

"It's," Ed choked, "It's encoded! I was deciphering it!"

"Ed, I'm pretty sure that's definitely just a romance novel."

"Shut up!"

Their squabble was cut short when Winry came in, wiping her hands on her apron.

"What's going on in here?" she asked.

"Nothing!" was quickly followed by a gleeful "Ed's reading a romance novel."

"Oh! Well, that's unexpected."

"Was not!" Ed protested.

"What's wrong with romance novels?"

"They're. They're too sappy," Ed said curtly. "Besides, it's an alchemy book I was decoding. You wouldn't understand."

"Oh, I wouldn't, now? Let me see the author, then. Romance is a very misrepresented genre, and some of it is very good writing," said Winry.

Ed handed over the book sulkily. Winry examined the book and said, "This is actually a really well-known author, Ed. I doubt it's actually an alchemy book. It's a good choice, though. I've read some other books by that author, and I really like how her main characters tend to be in unconventional careers. If you weren't reading it seriously before, I'd highly recommend it. There's nothing wrong with a guy liking romance novels."

"But Winry—!"

Al chimed in with a smirk, "He skips to the kissing scenes!"

"NO I FREAKING DON'T, AL!" Ed howled. Winry crossed her arms and pointedly focused her eyes on the painting over the couch. "Well, what's so bad about kissing, Ed?" she shot back.

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong with it, it's just—"

"Then prove it." Winry challenged with a steely gaze.

Al snuck out of the room as the two glared at each other. The room was nearly sizzling with nerves, but Edward stood and strode up to Winry.

"Fine, if you want me to prove it, I'll prove it," he said with her face terrifyingly close to his own.

"Fine with me," she retorted unconvincingly.

Ed's breath was shaky as he leaned in to press his lips to Winry's. It seemed as though the walls and floor had shifted. As though everything had become fuzzy except for the feeling on their lips. After several seconds, he remembered that his lips were actually supposed to move. Winry's hands darted to his shoulders, giving him just enough courage to cradle her face as delicately as if it would break. She attempted to encourage him, but she ended up with his wet lips halfway to her nose. Her face scrunched in distaste.

Ed tilted his head back and scrutinized the situation. Winry bit her lip, avoiding his eyes. Then, without warning, he fitted his lips against hers again, kissing her agonizingly slowly. Agonizing, but far better in every possible way. A new wave of confidence surged through him.

Ed broke the kiss for a moment with wide eyes.

"Is that apple pie?" he asked, then dove back in.

"Are you going to—" Winry was interrupted by another kiss. "let me—" Another kiss. "answer your stupid question?" Ed answered by smirking and continuing to kiss her.

Winry shoved him away, gasping for air. Her face was beet red. Her eyes searched for something, anything to land on other than Ed. "The apple pie's in the kitchen—on the kitchen counter," she stuttered. "Go grab a slice."

Ed hummed and stepped forward, slipping an arm around her waist. His voice lowered to an almost gravelly pitch as he traced a shaking finger along her jawline. "Tastes better like this."

Winry inhaled sharply as he snatched up her lips with a hunger that was far deeper than a yearning for apple pie. Ed's hand tightened around her waist reflexively, and she melted into him. She threaded a hand into his hair, and he couldn't help but whine a little, startling her slightly. Taking Winry's distraction as an opportunity to breathe, Ed kissed her with a renewed vigor. He gripped her toned arm as if it would somehow bring their bodies closer together. As if it was the only thing that kept him grounded to the floor.

Then the floor echoed with footsteps.

Ed jumped away, if reluctantly, and pushed Winry an arm's length away just as Alphonse strolled into the room with an innocent smile.

"Did you see that Winry made apple pie, Brother? You should really try some."

Edward floundered for words. "I already—I mean, yeah, so people seem to love telling me. I should...go get some." He took a couple steps, then stumbled on air before sprinting into the kitchen, red-faced.

After a moment, Winry stammered, "I should, uh, make sure Ed doesn't eat all of the apple pie." She fled in the same direction.

A slice of apple pie sat on the kitchen counter. Ed cut a second slice and handed Winry the plate. "I thought I'd get one for you, too, since you made it." They stood in silence for a minute, eating their pie.

Then Ed burst out, "I don't know what happened to me, I just couldn't stop kissing you like some...lips-obsessed monster or something. I'm sorry. I should have had better control of myself. I should have made sure you actually wanted to. I know what made me do it, obviously. It's hormones. Just a bunch of chemicals. But that's no excuse for—" Winry lightly touched his shoulder, and whatever words he had fizzled out on his tongue.

"Ed. It's...it's okay." She fought to meet his eyes, summoning the courage to speak. "More than okay. Actually, um...do you want to...do it again sometime?"

Edward's jaw dropped, and he was certain his blush could be seen from a mile away.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Alphonse walked over to the book Ed had abandoned. "Hm, a kissing scene," he noted smugly. "What do you know."

*

*

*

A/N: I could not think of a title for Ed's novel for the life of me, so I had to come up with a place holder and brainstorm more. Rest in peace, Ooh La La Womance and Grease-Stained Embrace.

[willsimpforanyone]

Hiiii🥰🥰 could I get a tony x reader where the reader is related to Peggy Carter in some way. He always flirts and annoys her until something goes wrong at the lab or at SHIELD and they end up getting sent back to the 40s so they have to find Pegs and Howard to help them get back. And while there they realize how much they actually like eachother and all. Pleeeaassee. I really like this idea and I can’t wait to see what you might do. Thank you 🥰🥰

my goodness that’s a complex request! a brilliant idea, i’m honoured that you want to know what i’d write, thank you so much <3

okay lets see how this goes...

_____________

I was tapped on the shoulder with a screwdriver. “Thanks James, I was jus- oh, it’s you.”

Tony Stark’s grinning face was above me, his hand was the one with the screwdriver I’d asked my assistant James to get me. I rolled my eyes, snatching the tool from him and turning back to my work. “Wow, so cold for someone so hot,” Tony hummed behind me. 

“You’d think with how much money you have, you’d be able to buy some class,” I bit back. I heard him thump against the wall, and in the corner of my eye I saw him slide down to sit next to me, hand on his heart.

“You wound me, gorgeous,” he groaned, picking up a couple screws and fiddling with them. 

Snatching the screws away from him, I began to fix a panel to the wall of the contraption. ���My apologies, Stark, I didn’t realise you gave that much of a shit.” I was hoping that he’d leave me alone, but apparently my hopes were too high. 

“Carter, I’d hope you’d know by now-” He was cut off by a sudden shudder in the machine. “The hell was that?”

I lifted myself from the floor to look out of the door to the machine, only to see that it was shut. Nothing too alarming in and of itself, except James’ face was struck with panic. Tony seemed to realise this at the same time, and we both raced to the door. “James?! What’s happening?” I yelled as the machine shook again. Tony stumbled and I caught hold of his arm to steady him. 

“I-I don’t know!” James’ frantic muffled voice barely travelled through the thick glass of the door. Suddenly, Nick Fury came sweeping into the room, heading straight for the outside control panel. 

“Stark, Carter, can you hear me?” 

We both nodded as he looked up at us. 

“Can you turn off the machine from the inside?” 

Tony looked at me hopefully, but the hope died as he saw my expression of terror. I took a shaky breath. “No, sir. The controls in here aren’t finished, I was working on them just now.” Fury looked grim. 

Without any warning, the machine rumbled and both Tony and I were thrown to the floor. The room outside seemed to be phasing in and out of reality. Fury seemed to make a decision, hitting a couple buttons on the outside control panel. “Okay, we can’t stop you going, but we can control where you go.”

Tony looked at me wildly. “What the fuck kind of machine is this?!”

I turned to see panic in his eyes, his breathing laboured. I had no idea that Fury had kept him in the dark about this, but I’d have to tell him the truth. “Tony, this machine is capable of transgressing the natural order of time, allowing S.H.I.E.L.D. to traverse the expanse of space and time in a few seconds. Or at least, it will be once I fix the internal control panel.”

His expression briefly morphed into one of fascination. “This is a time machine?!”

“Yeah, if you wanna call it that.” I turned back to Fury. “Where are we going?”

It was difficult to make out the next few words- “Late 1940s...you both...Stark...Carter...”

And all of a sudden, with no preparation, we’d moved. Fury was gone, James was gone, the whole outside lab was gone and replaced with what looked to be a basement, and it was just me and Tony in, essentially, a large box. I could hear Tony’s breathing get faster and shallower, so I pushed my own panic down and spun to take his hand in mine.

“Tony, look at me. We’re gonna be okay, we’re gonna get out of this. But I need you to take deep breaths with me, okay?”

It took a couple minutes, but Tony’s breathing began to even out, and in helping him, I managed to calm myself. We were sat on the floor, his hand still in mine, when I very faintly heard voices coming from the door of whatever room we were in. There was nowhere to hide, and I made a mental note to include cloaking in the hardware of the machine if- no, when, we got back to S.H.I.E.L.D.. As it was, we could just stand and prepare to meet whoever was coming to investigate the noise that came from us landing. 

The door flung open, and two men ran in. The first man was about 5′9″, maybe 5′10″, with a smart suit and slicked back hair; he looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him. The second man was taller, maybe 6′, a towel flung over his shoulder and also wearing a smart suit. They stopped short on seeing us and the contraption we were contained in, surprise evident in their faces. 

I looked over at Tony to see him staring at the first man intently. It was clear that no one else was gonna talk, so I stepped forward. “Hi, excuse the intrusion, could you tell me where and when we are? Please?” 

The two men focused their eyes on me. The second man spoke. “Uh, yes-” he had a strong Queen’s English accent “-you’re in Mr Stark’s basement, and it’s 1947. May I ask, what exactly are you doing here?”

My mind was whirling trying to think of a plausible excuse and coming up blank when Tony moved closer to the glass wall separating us all. “We time travelled. We’re from your future, kind of.”

I hit him. “Tony! What the fuck! You aren’t supposed to tell peopl-”

“Okay,” shrugged the first man. I blinked and stared at him. He laughed. “I’ve seen stranger things, doll.”

I raised my eyebrow at Tony and he shrugged; and I knew where I’d seen the first man before. “That’s...that’s Howard Stark? Your dad Howard Stark?” I hissed at Tony, low enough so the glass would block the sound. He nodded and I detected a slight glassy quality to his eyes. 

“Um, excuse me?” The second man seemed hesitant to talk. “Are you alright? Are you... stuck?” I moved towards the door and hit the ‘open’ button on the right. There was a hiss as the door opened. The journey must’ve knocked the mechanism and fixed it. Howard Stark reached out to help me out the box, and in a few seconds both Tony and I were on 1940s ground, breathing 1940s air- it was surreal. 

The two men introduced themselves, finally. Of course, I knew who Howard Stark was, and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the second man was Edwin Jarvis. I shot a slightly confused look at Tony, and he winked back- yes, he had named his AI assistant after his dad’s butler. 

My ears perked up at the sound of heels on wooden floors coming from upstairs. “Mr Stark, do you have guests over?”

He winked at me, much like Tony did. “Call me Howard, beautiful,” he moved his gaze to the door of the basement which was still open, showing a staircase. “And I think, if I remember the sound of oxfords correctly, that will be the lovely Miss Peggy Carter,” and he started back up the stairs, gesturing for the rest of us to follow. I was frozen. Peggy Carter? Like, the founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. Peggy Carter? Like- 

“You’re aunt Peggy Carter?” Tony murmured into my ear as he passed me, grabbing my arm and gently pulling me along. I nodded slowly. Were there any other notable Peggy Carters that Mr Stark Senior knew?

Sure enough, at the top of the staircase, stood one Miss Margaret Carter. “Hey English, what’s going on?” Howard went to give Peggy a hug, which she fluidly side-stepped in favour of shaking Jarvis’ hand. 

“Howard, I did tell you I needed to speak to you, where have you been?” 

“Sorry Peggy, I was distracted by the stowaways in my basement.”

“The...what in your what?”

Howard gestured to me and Tony. “These two time travelled into my basement. I believe them.” Peggy rolled her eyes, and Tony looked pointedly at you as if to say ‘you do exactly the same damn thing, what the fuck’.

Peggy breathed out sharply. “Then what are they still doing here? I assume something is wrong with their machine- no one would intentionally time travel in non-period specific clothing, why haven’t you fixed the issue yet?”

Howard blinked as Peggy pushed past him. “Hello, my name is Peggy Carter, a pleasure. My apologies for Howard, particularly to you-” she locked eyes with me “- as I’m sure he’s already tried to flirt with you, no doubt unsuccessfully.” 

I laughed. Even I could see the similarities between me and my aunt. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” I smiled back at her teasingly, and she laughed lightly. “But, we do need to get back to... where we’re from as soon as possible.”

Peggy turned abruptly to Howard. “See? Let’s take a look at the problem, shall we?”

He gestured to the stairs. “Lead the way, English.”

With the combined effort of two Starks, two Carters and a Jarvis, the internal control panel was up and running. It was interesting to watch the relationship between Peggy and Howard. There was an intense fondness between them, and I saw a lot of their relationship in my own interactions with Tony. Perhaps...perhaps there was more affection for him than I had allowed myself to feel. 

It seemed as if all too soon Tony and I were ready to go back to the S.H.I.E.L.D. base. Howard and Peggy stepped out of the machine, followed by Tony, and then me. Having spent some time with the aunt I’d never really known left me feeling nostalgic, I knew her better now than I ever would. I looked over at Tony who was looking at his father, who in turn was quietly conferring with Jarvis. 

“Time to go, I guess,” I turned to Tony, who nodded, still somewhat fixated on Howard. I gently tugged at his hand, and he allowed himself to be pulled into the machine. He stopped me just before I shut the door.

“Uh, Howard?” He asked. Howard stepped closer. “This is gonna sound weird, but... I love you. I should have told you that a lot more.”

Howard looked taken aback. “Uh, thank you?” Then it was almost as if he was compelled to speak further- “...I love you too.”

I went to face Peggy, and was about to open my mouth when I noticed her smiling at me. She reached out for my hand. “Before you say it first- I love you,” she whispered. 

My eyes were wide. “But, what?”

She laughed and squeezed my hand. “You and I are a little too alike. As are those two,” she said, nodding towards Tony and Howard. “I know you’re part of my family, I’m not as dense about these things as Howard.”

I smiled and squeezed her hand back. “Thank you, Peggy. I love you too.” 

We let go, and she closed the door to the machine. I reached out for Tony’s hand, and he twisted our fingers together. The controls were already set for the correct time and place, and together, Tony and I pushed the button. 

Howard, Peggy and Jarvis’ faces phased out of reality, and the S.H.I.E.L.D. base came back into view. I was so relieved I jumped on Tony and hugged him tight. He was surprised and stumbled slightly but caught me and hugged me just as tight. 

“Well ain’t that just sweet. We been waiting for an hour and you two won’t even say hi?”

I flushed and Tony put me down as we turned to see Fury still at the external control panel. I tapped the ‘open’ button and to my joy, the door opened and Tony and I jumped out of the machine. 

“I take it the damn thing works?” Fury asked. We both nodded vigorously. “Alright, rest of the day off, both of you, go home.”

We didn’t need to be told twice. We were out of the base within ten minutes. 

Tony stopped me before we went our separate ways home. “Hey, um, would you maybe... wanna come to dinner at Stark Tower? It’s just- you’re really pretty and really smart and I kinda maybe like you a lot,” he stuttered, and I could feel the hand holding mine shaking slightly. 

I didn’t even hesitate. “Yeah, Tony, I would love that.”

Because hey, we just went back in time together. That bonds people.

______________

wow this took me a good couple hours to complete! i really hope you like it and it didn’t ramble on too long. thank you so much for requesting <3

[doomonfilm]

Review : The Tomorrow War (2021)

HBOMax and Netflix both had entries for the weekend of July 4, so it only makes sense that Amazon Prime would make sure that their presence was felt as well.  After the swing at big budget glory that was Infinite, Amazon Prime’s recent science-fiction offering starring Mark Wahlberg, another big box office presence finds himself as the face of an Amazon production in the form of Chris Pratt, the household name whose fame grew after a stint in Parks & Rec and a star-making role as Peter Quill in the MCU’s Guardians of the Galaxy franchise.  Based on the trailers, the film has all the trappings of a big budget, special effects and action-driven popcorn flick, so I decided to give it a shot.   

If it weren’t for the deep science-fiction premise, The Tomorrow War could almost be mistaken as a commentary on the Military Industrial Complex, like an inverse take on the Starship Troopers approach.  Watching Dan Forestor instantly transform from a teacher and family man into his former war-hardened soldier form feels noble in terms of its intent, and maybe it’s just the cynic in me, but it immediately puts a coldness on the entire future war affair, as if pure detachment is needed to survive a threat that draftees are given zero time to comprehend.  The fact that a worldwide draft is implemented to subdue a universal threat is oddly timely for the conspiracy theorist in me, especially in light of the fact that there seems to be an interesting sea change on the horizon in regard to the political stance on public knowledge of extraterrestrial existence.  Even with this otherworldly threat standing as antagonist, the film doesn’t hesitate to play on the beat that having the enemy emerge from within is a strong possibility.  Despite the way that I’ve rambled about this particular spectrum of The Tomorrow War, Chris McKay and company balance these threads quite well, and all while ramping up the energy and momentum of the film from story beat to story beat.

With Infinite standing as Amazon Prime’s other attempt at rolling out a blockbuster (as previously mentioned), one can garner that a fascination with time-based narratives is becoming a common thread.  The Tomorrow War borrows the best aspects of the Terminator franchise and Shane Carouth’s Primer approach to build its framework, which allows the logic needed for this particular suspension of belief to be sold due to concepts that seems easy to explain at face value, but above the head of standard comprehension upon reflection.  For example, the acknowledgement of the generational gap that would exist between the young military force from 30 years in the future and the middle-aged draftees helps us dispel the worry for potential time paradoxes due to meeting yourself in the future, but it also sets up a slight John Connor mythos once you realize the Forestor father and daughter relationship will boomerang back and forth through time, at least from Dan’s point of view.  Positioning time as fluid and always moving allows McKay and company to implement the fixed point theory of time travel, which instantly raises the stakes of the story due to the built-in ticking clock that comes from making sure you don’t miss your return window.  With these two foundational points strongly set, a sort of narrative tuned mass damper is built which allows you to stack all types of realistic and imaginary science on top of what the audience has already accepted.

There seems to always be some sort of indistinguishable gap between the historic big budget releases in theaters and the small sample serving of streaming service attempts, but The Tomorrow War is a huge step in closing that gap when it comes to production value.  Viewers will immediately notice the impressive use of effects for both the time travel and the Whitespikes, and when we are given moments to view the post-apocalyptic world, it is stylized enough to have an emotional impact.  The combat is appealing to watch, much like the previously mentioned Starship Troopers, as a good mix of novice, survivalist and pure military approaches are mixed in among our characters, with as much adaptive learning being present as there are unfortunate casualties.  There are a number of powerful allusions to Vietnam present in the film, such as the use of choppers and air strikes, the post-traumatic stress and shattered worldview of returning soldiers, deserters, and much more.  The overall tone of despair and danger weighs heavily on the film, and using unconditional familial love as the driving force of hope rather than traditional romantic love is a nice change of pace.

Chris Pratt does what he does best, mixing his natural charm, humor and ability to symbolically and literally gather the troops in his role as the leading man of The Tomorrow War, while also being one of the most believable members of the combat force.  Edwin Hodge matches Pratt’s intensity in terms of combat while providing an edge that stands in opposition to Pratt’s warmth, which makes them a formidable dynamic duo.  Yvonne Strahovski manages to present a façade of military leadership to mask a clearly volatile presence of love that must be held in check in order to make sure her mission is successful, which echoes the adoration shown by Ryan Kiera Armstrong in her role as the younger Muri Forestor.  Betty Gilpin remains hopeful (and even mentally sharp) in the face of a threat that would cause many similar characters to go to pieces and play their characters as fragile, one-note worried housewives.  Sam Richardson provides a solid mixture of comic relief and scientific knowledge, which is welcome within the midst of a very heavy soldier presence that dominates the film, giving the average viewer someone they can latch on to.  J.K. Simmons makes a couple of notable appearances (I wouldn’t mind seeing him work with Chris Pratt again in the future), while Jasmine Mathews, Keith Powers, an interestingly cast Mary Lynn Rajskub, Mike Mitchell and Seth Scenall round out the supporting cast.

The Tomorrow War reminds me of my time working at the movie theater back when I was in high school, specifically the summer that Independence Day was released.  I’m not saying that McKay has found that Roland Emmerich magic, but he has managed to match the spectacle of Independence Day in a way that modern day audiences can relate to.  If streaming services can match the quality of films like The Tomorrow War moving forward, I may have to stop mentioning the movies in a light that makes them sound lower tier.