#EatMeDrinkMe

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Written In 2025 (So Far) Masterlist

And I'll be clawing at your heart until you let me in (ao3) - achromatic__sky

Summary: When Dan suggested a weekend trip to the beach as a "romantic boyfriend getaway," he thought it was the perfect idea. Sure, Blackpool is all he can afford on his own, but he’s convinced it will still be special—right ? But as one mishap after another turns the day into a string of disasters, Dan starts questioning not just the trip, but himself—and the future of their relationship.

Thankfully Phil is always here and his unexpected skill at arcade games, a hidden talent he’s never shared with Dan, might just save the day.

Or when a plushie makes everything better. Inspired by that one-liner from the AmazingDan react—because sometimes, a little roomba recycling is all it takes to create magic.

Charming (ao3) - eatmedrinkme (incrediblytired)

Summary: The panties should have been nothing.

And maybe in any other world at any other time, they would have been nothing. Today they were something.

cheek & tongue. (ao3) - razussy

Summary: being your true self to the person you love is a special kind of feeling.

Doomed, But Just Enough (ao3) - VendettaWoundsu

Summary: Nothing in Dan Howell's life seems to be going well lately. He hates law school, has literally no friends, and is just going about life on autopilot.

However, the sudden appearance of a mysterious stranger throws a wrench in this whole routine. And maybe, it's all Dan needs to finally let happiness back into his life.

everything hurts but you make things a bit better (ao3) - That_cool_weirdo

Summary: I'm annoyed that my joints don't work so i wrote a fluffy fic of 2009 phan's first irl meeting where dan has all of my issues (joint pain, hypermobility, weak joints, weird periods of lightheadedness and seeing stars whenever i stand up or stretch or anything, etc.) anywayz, hope you enjoy :)

Hit and Run (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: "I would ask no questions, and I would help him get rid of the body." - Dan Howell, 2025

I Love Him (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: There’s a lot to love about tour, but free time in a city on the opposite end of the world is very high on the list.

A fic about art galleries and love at first sight.

Incapacitated (ao3) - mermaidstailonmyface (louislittletomlintum)

Summary: the one where dan has a broken arm and needs help with washing his hair

Little bird, say it again (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: “I can’t believe that just happened,” Dan panted.

Phil laughed. “Why not?”

“I dunno… I guess—I dunno.” I didn’t think omegas in heat could do that seemed too embarrassing to say out loud.

Love; or, a note on terminology (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: There are few things humans love more than nice, neat labels. There are also few lies that are whiter.

Monochromatic Serotonin (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Dan doesn’t wear much jewelry except occasionally in videos or at events, but he’s open to trying a bit of accessorizing when a photo online catches his eye. But sometimes just buying things isn’t an option, and he falls down the rabbit hole learning how and why until it’s four in the morning and he’s sorting every bead he owns by color in the hopes that someone will appreciate the designs he’d made.

(Dan discovers a new hobby in making jewelry.)

none of this will matter in an hour (ao3) - EverythingIsAsItWas

Summary: The end of the world was announced today. With only a few hours left and no one but each other, Dan and Phil have some serious talks and serious reckoning as to who they are to each other.

pass around miami party bottom (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: phil just wanted a quiet drink in a bar, he wasn't expecting to meet dan, let alone go home with him

prayer for love (ao3) - phansong

Summary: “You're ridiculous,” said Dan, unable to stop one side of her mouth from curling up. I love you, she thought. But she couldn't say it. Not out loud, in the way that she meant it, which would be more an admission of sin than anything else. Maybe not ever.

Dan and Pippa meet as sisters at a convent.

rattlesnake (ao3) - ZackStriker (PyroStormIsBae)

Summary: to the mirror dan says, "i am sorry you got stuck with me," to the birds he says, "do you ever feel like your body is not your body?" to phil he says, "could you maybe sit a little further away from me during this video?"

phil looks at him with equal amounts despair and love. 'this feels right,' dan thinks, 'this is what love should be for me: painful. it’s what i deserve.'

or: a fic juxtaposing 2012's grief with 2024's joy.

Ring Pop (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: A feeling settles into Dan one day, a feeling he's dismissed for years.

I want to marry this man

safe harbor (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: He’s gorgeous, that’s the first thing Dan notices: gorgeous and tall and sleekly blond and effortlessly charming. The second and third things, in rapid succession, are the metal band around his wrist, claiming him with the pulse of its tiny white light, and the faint scent of ozone and empty air. He’s wearing a striped jumper, electric blue and fuzzy against the chill of the windy months, but when Dan’s eyes flick down he can see the gentle swell of his stomach, the way his hand drifts unconsciously to rest against it. A surrogate. Dan’s lived enough of his life in uneasy proximity to the Glissant to recognize one, but he can’t guess how far along he is.

The surrogate glances down the coffee shop, and his eyes are blue with an unearthly glow.

Scent (ao3) - dipnpip

Summary: Dan buys a new cologne and Phil is a big fan!

sk8ter girl (ao3) - ShiwiSins (IetjeSiobhan)

Summary: “She can’t even keep herself on the board for longer than three minutes, what makes you think she could teach you?” PJ asks doubtfully.

“She looks hot,” Dani says, and PJ cackles.

“That’s not a qualification for teaching someone how to skateboard,” he tells Dani wisely.

Soft (ao3) - dipnpip

Summary: On a rare day-off together touring Europe, Dan becomes increasingly flustered by Phil's soft skin while out sightseeing.

The Art of Hiding Pain (ao3) - Swiftpaw

Summary: Dan had never been good at explaining his thoughts and feelings to others. How could he, when he did not understand them himself?

Or, 5 times Dan pushed everyone away and 1 time Phil would not let him face his struggles alone

Tuck (ao3) - imademon

Summary: Dan is practicing how to tuck as Sister Daniel, with Phil's help.

Wasteland, Baby (I'm in love with you) (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: The end of the world is slow and quiet. There are no explosions, no riots, just the gradual buildup of floods and fires and earthquakes until the earth can’t take it anymore.

Dan doesn’t believe in the politicians and their ideas of “normalcy,” but he absolutely believes in Phil and would follow him through hell and back. Phil wants to believe in hope and fate, but what matters most is that through it all he still has Dan.

Dan and Phil in the apocalypse, inspired by Hozier’s album, “Wasteland, Baby!”

would you still love me if I was a worm? (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: Look. Someone had to write this fic.

(Dan asks Phil if he would still love him if Dan was a worm. Phil says no.)

you carry the sun in your hand (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Phil rents a flat with a ghost in it, and somehow it gets weirder from there.

[nevermind-nevermind-nevermind]

Happy birthday "Eat Me Drink Me". 6:19 and I know I'm ready.

- Marilyn Manson on Instagram

[phanfictioncatalogue]

2k Word Fics (2) Masterlist

part one

2 minutes (ao3) - dipnpip

Summary: On the long flight to Australia, Dan gets a tad bit handsy. They sort it out in the bathroom.

a different form of intoxication (ao3) - moonalive

Summary: dan and phil play around with phil's favorite kink

A winter day in the life (ao3) - Frog910

Summary: It's Christmas! Dan and Phil have a cozy day filming at Christmas.

and hearts will be glowing (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Prompt: bottom Phil

anniversary (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil go to Vegas to celebrate the end of the US leg of the tour – and their fifteenth anniversary.

baby mullet (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: dan gets a mullet and phil has some feelings

Bite Me (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: “Do you know how it tastes kind of good when you bite your tongue and you can taste the blood in your mouth?”

Phil really wants to bite something. Dan mostly wants to be left out of Phil's weird new kink and stop hearing about vampires. But when they go to look in the mirror and nothing's there, Phil might just be right about the vampire thing after all (just don't call the army).

bottle, blanket, balcony (ao3) - gaydreaming

Summary: March, 2018.

The Interactive Introverts Tour is set to begin in a month. The venues are all booked, the fans are riled up and Phil is ready to enter an era that will surely be the peak of their career. There's only one problem: Dan doesn't want to do it anymore.

brand new colony (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: Phil’s begging him to understand something, he can tell. His eyes are pleading, his voice softly desperate. Dan bites his lip because he thinks he knows. He’s pretty sure. He nods and drapes his arms around Phil’s shoulders.

“I really,” he tugs Phil down to kiss him and then whispers against his lips, “really, really like you too. Okay?”

brews and serendipity (ao3) - bejulesed

Summary: it's 2009, and dan and phil meet each other in a coffee shop.

Charming (ao3) - eatmedrinkme (incrediblytired)

Summary: The panties should have been nothing.

And maybe in any other world at any other time, they would have been nothing. Today they were something.

Christmas at the Lester's (ao3) - trashcanfromgallifrey

Summary: A quite fluffy fic that also goes into themes of finding safety in Phil’s family when they were closeted.

clay dog (ao3) - ShiwiSins (IetjeSiobhan)

Summary: ��We could get married while we’re here,” he finds himself saying. “Australia would be a nice place for it. We could honeymoon in Iceland, after the tour.”

cloud nine (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Phil had been Dan’s floor supervisor for the six months since he started working there. He was tall, good at his job while only being somewhat obnoxious about it, and was still the only one in the store who Dan thought could pull off the tacky blue polyester vests.

Or, the Superstore AU I treated myself to writing (:

come on, mess me up (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Dan nuzzles his nose against Phil’s cheek, arms coming to wrap around him tightly. “Got me all messy,” he says. “Wanna feel?”

conversations and deviations (ao3) - CapriciousCrab

Summary: Dan thought he wanted a traditional omega. What he found instead was Phil.

Dan Howell is My Boyfriend (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: As a joke, Dan buys Phil a hoodie with a very interesting phrase on it

Demon of Temptation (ao3) - dipnpip

Summary: "Why do any of the difficult stuff when the fun is right there?" - Daniel Howell

Did Your Son Take It? (ao3) - steddieornot

Summary: “Did your son take it home?”

She watched as his face distorted into a bizarre mix of horror and disgust. Whoops. Not his son then.

She went to open her mouth to apologise before he slurred out “erm, yep, he’s bringing back clean clothes,” he then sluggishly attempted to school his expression into a neutral one.

don't wanna walk alone (so let's get married) (ao3) - lesbaurinkos (pluginbaby)

Summary; Phil’s always been a little wistful about the idea, some part of him a bit hopelessly romantic, perhaps, but his mind always catches on the thought of marrying Dan.

(or: marriage chats on a saturday night)

family (ao3) - hello456there

Summary: Dan and Phil unexpectedly have to babysit their niece

Find Me Again (ao3) - llama_sidekick

Summary: Phil wanders into the forest and upsets a forest spirit, right when a handsome stranger steps in to help him. Dan didn't plan his day to go this way but maybe it ends in a pleasant surprise.

family (found) (ao3) - huphilpuffs

Summary: Dan reflects on his friendship with Martyn.

Good Boy (ao3) - ingydar_phan

Summary: Porn without plot basically. Phil is FTM and they have sex and it's lowkey puppy play with heavy praise. That's it that's the fic.

Hit and Run (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: "I would ask no questions, and I would help him get rid of the body." - Dan Howell, 2025

homegrown (ao3) - angelmichelangelo

Summary: dan and phil host their first christmas in their forever home

idgaf (because it saved me) (ao3) - gaydreaming

Summary: When Dan sits down at his piano, he doesn't expect to put so much emotional vulnerability onto the page. But TATINOF had a song. Introverts had a song. Terrible Influences needs a song. And, more importantly, Dan and Phil need to figure out how exactly they plan to take back what the internet took from them.

low light (ao3) - thuscoffee

Summary: where dan and phil just moved in to their new flat in london and they're too in love to resist each other

moon dreams (ao3) - dizzy, waveydnp

Summary: It's three in the morning, and they're okay.

natural. (ao3) - razussy

Summary: tampa, florida. known for plenty of things ranging from busch gardens to outback steakhouse. unlike the amusement park, however, there’s a certain drink phil’s been eyeing since he’s seen promotional advertisements on his nightly youtube sessions.

Night In (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: Phil feels bad after a five second fight with his boyfriend. He is extra soft to make up for it.

no machine (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: dip and pip return home after the american leg of the tit tour. just a soft, loving fluffy thing <3

one more shot in Helsinki (ao3) - m_katiep

Summary: The tour has brought them to Helsinki. The night before the show Dan and Phil get to experience the hospitality of locals in the form of free shots. Phil gets tipsy and Dan gets jealous.

[orange heart emoji] (ao3) - natigail

Summary: WE'RE ALL DOOMED finds its home on YouTube and Dan breaks the whole phandom with one single emoji. It's okay. If Phil can be earnest, then so can Dan.

our lips must always be sealed (ao3) - uhmyeah

Summary: dan and phil have silly tour sex

PeggleTwink9 (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: “I’ll peg you,” Dan says in their usual tone of your mum jokes, but then keeps planting kisses along Phil’s collarbone and says more sincerely, “C’mon, Birthday Boy, I wanna peg you.”

A fic about mornings and indulgence.

pride (ao3) - watergator (orphan_account)

Summary: phil growing up gay through the eyes of his mother

real and different (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Phil is different than Dan imagined. Different than his videos.

But he likes it.

Scent (ao3) - dipnpip

Summary: Dan buys a new cologne and Phil is a big fan!

Send My Love (To Your New Lover) (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Dan has some jealousy issues to deal with when he finds out Phil has had a run-in with someone from his past.

Subtle Foreshadowing (ao3) - dprkives

Summary: 2018 era dnp yuri after that one halloween pumpkin carving video because its my favourite uhhh yeah its absolute filth I hope you enjoy

Surprise Delivery (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: A package arrives that Dan didn't order.

The Father and The Nun (ao3) - cosmic_angel_writes

Summary: Sister Daniel has wanted nothing but Father Philip since she first joined the church. Today is the day she finally gets what she wants.

True Colors (ao3) - kattdan

Summary: There's some tension during lockdown. Dan's having moodswings.

Vibe Check (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Sometimes, Dan needs a vibe check.

we'll go down this road (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: It's the day of the London Marathon, and Dan doesn't want to be at home.

You and Me (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Birthday sex after Dan's birthday livestream

You are my Night Sky (ao3) - VanillaVelvetPoet

Summary: Phil decides it's time to do what they should've done a long time ago. At the last London show of the tour, he's going to surprise Dan, along with the audience.

[19aurelia97]

[jimelitwalk]

What would be a good smash up to do next!?#smashup #littleshopofhorrors #aliceinwonderland #audrey2 #eatmedrinkme #jimelitwalk @rebelreprints @luckysupply @worldfamousink @goodguysupply @hivecaps @kappa_soap #floridatattoo #floridatattooartist @fkirons @saniderm @inkeeze @sullenclothing @inkmaster @iamcolourscouture (at Ascension Tattoo Orlando) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu1G92ug_XM/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ao4iapa3owut

[thesanitariumart]

Potion sticker pack available while supplies last ✨ add some magic to your life! . . . #hercules #aliceinwonderland #emperorsnewgroove #shrek2 #drinkme #llamapotion #extractofllama #happilyeverafter #mortalpotion #stickers #sticker #yzma #shrek #shrekisloveshrekislife #eatmedrinkme #immortality #stickerobsession #stickeroftheday #thesanitariumart #notebookstickers #witchyvibes #potionbottle #etsylove #giftforfriend #alabamamade #alabamaartist (at WonderLand ♥) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch-LD0MO0jf/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Hurt/Comfort (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

And I'll be clawing at your heart until you let me in (ao3) - achromatic__sky

Summary: When Dan suggested a weekend trip to the beach as a "romantic boyfriend getaway," he thought it was the perfect idea. Sure, Blackpool is all he can afford on his own, but he’s convinced it will still be special—right ? But as one mishap after another turns the day into a string of disasters, Dan starts questioning not just the trip, but himself—and the future of their relationship.

Thankfully Phil is always here and his unexpected skill at arcade games, a hidden talent he’s never shared with Dan, might just save the day.

Or when a plushie makes everything better. Inspired by that one-liner from the AmazingDan react—because sometimes, a little roomba recycling is all it takes to create magic.

bottle, blanket, balcony (ao3) - gaydreaming

Summary: March, 2018.

The Interactive Introverts Tour is set to begin in a month. The venues are all booked, the fans are riled up and Phil is ready to enter an era that will surely be the peak of their career. There's only one problem: Dan doesn't want to do it anymore.

Charming (ao3) - eatmedrinkme (incrediblytired)

Summary: The panties should have been nothing.

And maybe in any other world at any other time, they would have been nothing. Today they were something.

checking in (ao3) - pensieveity

Summary: phil is out of surgery and dan brings him his long ass list! also phil is out of it the whole time <3

Chips (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: Dan struggling with the concept that all healthy couples should fight.

Chronic (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: “I don’t feel like I have good days,” he said. “I feel like I have bad days and worse days.”

or: Phil makes his peace with forever.

Dan is Not OK (ao3) - Dansreputation

Summary: Dan has been working on a show to pitch to YouTube. When he gets shot down, Phil has to comfort him.

Fix You (ao3) - emodnp

Summary: Dan deals with some painful memories and feelings and has a good and important conversation with Phil.

firefly (ao3) - bloodyscarab

Summary: dan and the youtube incident from wiqy, but make it cute hurt/comfort

Holidays and Other Seismic Activities (ao3) - ZackStriker (PyroStormIsBae)

Summary: When Phil was unconscious Dan wanted to wrap him in his arms, tell him, I’ll be your blood flow, your diagnosis, I’ll be your hedonism. You are the greatest consequence to ever happen to me. But Phil didn’t happen to people. He didn’t inflict himself. He wouldn’t know how to cause damage if it ground itself into his ribs. Not like the earthquake that was Dan Howell.

Or: Daniel Howell never really learned how to relax. (Set during their vacation to Turkey)

I’ll be the light that you can’t make (ao3) - MANIAvinyl

Summary: There was suddenly a tightness in Phil’s chest, put there by guilt and fear, and he couldn’t find the words to respond. The gravity of Dan’s depression was creeping up on him, like a realization he didn’t want to admit.

Or; Dan is depressed and Phil cant help but feel that the sickness in his best friend is a mystery to them both. Hurt/comfort and angst

in sickness and in health (ao3) - definitelynotczargasm, dizzy

Summary: Dan knows that something is off with Phil while they're on tour, but how can he help if Phil won't actually admit it?

it drives you crazy getting old (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Or, Phil got hurt. Again.

listen to your hands soothe (ao3) - astradyke (violetides)

Summary: For now, Phil forces himself up. Sometimes, if he lays in bed enough, Dan will check on him. And he’ll do his soft voice and bring Phil a coffee, and he’ll yap about something and get all worked up and Phil will just sit and smile at him.

It’s a tempting enough thought that Phil almost wants to go back to bed and wait for it. Sometimes, he does. But today, the idea of someone doting on him for a nothing issue– just another Phil migraine– feels… annoying. Phil feels annoying, for that. And maybe someday Dan will realize that this is all really annoying, that Phil wasn’t like this when they first met. That Phil used to be energetic and chase him around his mum’s house and fuck him hard enough to make the bedsprings squeak. Now, Phil’s got a bit of a headache. And he’s thirty four.

(a snapshot into 2021, and the act of taking care of each other).

Love From The Other Side (ao3) - sapphic_sunflower_kid

Summary: It’s 2011 and Dan is struggling through university. This is, in short, three of the times Dan’s university life felt like it was spiraling and the three times Phil was sending love from the other side to help him cope with it.

AKA. The power of love and friendship drives Dan Howell to drop out of university.

Lullaby for the sun (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: It's been a few months now, and for some reason when Dan visits Phil he just feels tired.

Not in Nottingham (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: “You’re doing it again,” Phil mutters, after he takes an obliging sip.

“Hmm.”

“You need taking care of and you're taking care of me instead.”

one of those days (ao3) - nivi_chip

Summary: Phil has a dizzy spell and Dan takes care of him.

Or, Dan is the man with the plan (rip the stereo shows imy)

rattlesnake (ao3) - ZackStriker (PyroStormIsBae)

Summary: to the mirror dan says, "i am sorry you got stuck with me," to the birds he says, "do you ever feel like your body is not your body?" to phil he says, "could you maybe sit a little further away from me during this video?"

phil looks at him with equal amounts despair and love. 'this feels right,' dan thinks, 'this is what love should be for me: painful. it’s what i deserve.'

or: a fic juxtaposing 2012's grief with 2024's joy.

so you don't have to be brave (ao3) - Jamez

Summary: Dan is having trouble sleeping on tour. Phil helps.

Stranger Danger (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Dan thinks he's the most awkward guy on the tube until he spots a guy that seems to be in an even worse condition than himself.

The Anniversary (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: It is fifteen years to the day since Dan's suicide attempt, and Phil endeavours to make the day as normal as possible.

The Art of Hiding Pain (ao3) - Swiftpaw

Summary: Dan had never been good at explaining his thoughts and feelings to others. How could he, when he did not understand them himself?

Or, 5 times Dan pushed everyone away and 1 time Phil would not let him face his struggles alone

True Colors (ao3) - kattdan

Summary: There's some tension during lockdown. Dan's having moodswings.

Unironically (ao3) - ZoloftZinnias

Summary: Dan didn't want to upset Phil with trying out a new kink. Phil really, really, does not care.

When the Moon Fell In Love With The Sun (ao3) - deputysean

Summary: 2009 era- skype/msn (pre October 19th)

wrong floor (ao3) - wombat713writes

Summary: They get a room on the first floor instead of the third and Dan freaks out a little bit

You Can Continue Surviving (ao3) - anne2005

Summary: Dan and Phil are having a good, quiet day, until someone from Dan's past decides to make an appearance. Dan doesn't understand why he just can't get over it.

your love is my drug (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: Phil wakes up with a migraine.

[travismoet]

Spit in my mouth, look at my eyes ⁉️💦👅. #Vegas #instavegas #djs #eatmedrinkme #vegasnights #sincity #4thofjulyweekend #freakyfridayz #woof #ANDI #chocolate #coloringforadults #bloggersofinstagram #electro #edmvegas #instasin #daddyaf #lasvegasstrip #drinks (at Las Vegas, Nevada) https://www.instagram.com/p/CffHM6pPn6q/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[mansonarmy18]

[matteohudson]

Now Listening: Marilyn Manson - Eat Me, Drink Me. #marilynmanson #marilynmansoneatmedrinkme #ifiwasyourvampire #puttingholesinhappiness #theredcarpetgrave #theysaidthathellsnothot #justacarcrashaway #heartshapedglasseswhentheheartguidesthehand #evidence #areyoutherabbit #mutilationisthemostsincereformofflattery #youandmeandthedevilmakes3 #eatmedrinkme #2007 #2007album #industrialmetal #industrialrock #alternativemetal #hardrock #shockrock #nowlistening #nowplaying https://www.instagram.com/p/CN0GhXwDF_6/?igshid=1sqbhiino21y5

[mansonarmy18]