#Easy Online Process
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okay, I'm crowdsourcing advice for a minute, so bear with me and please lend some words if you have any:
I want to get out of the house more. Like, on a regular basis. Weekly, maybe. Preferably, I would like to be interacting with people—the same people—every time, for... like... accountability, but also because I am hoping to put myself out there as the 21st century's most neurotic platonic Casanova. Uh. Making a friend or more out of this would be desirable. But I think if I go out with the intention of making a friend, I will be disappointed.
So. I want to go do something, for that something's own sake. I don't want to go be fake once a week hoping to get a friend out of it.
However, the beautiful state of Iowa is a bit cultureless, and I am too introverted and easily overwhelmed for this world (e.g. going to bars is probably not gonna be my thing). So.... I guess.... any suggestions? opinions? thoughts on making friends in general, or finding good activities as an introverted adult, in general?
oh yeah, also: I am poor. that's a factor. so. signing up a class or similar is not a great option right now.
what the heck, I'll add a silly poll for fun:
#Robin processes emotions on main#Robin speaks#I'm mostly talking out loud here. you know how it is#the question itself is too complicated for an easy answer#and everything will change in January when I become unemployed again and start searching for an in-person job anyway#but hey..... (trails off with nothing to say)#to clarify: right now I'm working part time online#and I'm surviving but my mental health is kind of..... tenuous. I'm lonely. I've got no regular in person contact with non-family#also the young-adults group thing sounds uniquely agonizing. I'm restructuring my entire way of faith right now#and so my choices in a young adults group would be.... either fake it or make myself into an embarrassing... like... Thing#impediment to fun and progress or whatever#I don't want to do that. especially if I'm looking to make friends. it'd be like therapy but public and with strangers and frankly#probably very very midwestern-bland-white-evangelical and I don't know if I can take it... I don't know if I can do it#yeagh#OH. ALSO. BY THE WAY. when I say ''a friend or more'' I do NOT mean a friend or romance alsjdflsjdlkdfjsjla#I mean ONE OR MORE friends.
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gonna learn some canva to better my chances of getting a new marketing job. to make it fun and Not Scary for myself I'm thinking of making little graphics themed around ponies I like, so i can get a little practice and post them here without feeling like they need to be the Best Thing Ever
#the deep fear of being visibly A Beginner as an adult online#I'm in the process of being laid of bc of the company losing money so#I'm applying to jobs but a LOT of marketing jobs#want people who do text of all genres and social media work and brand strategy and social media videos (all of which I can do)#but ALSO be able to create graphics#so I'm gonna learn canva for easy graphics dont worry I know thats not as good as actual graphic design#but you know thats a whole ass separate education#Im doing what I can ok
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finally starting to slowly feel like i’m recovering 🖤 positive and tickly messages/asks welcome or just good vibes 😌
i’ve never had such an intense, emotional, physically exhausting, and scary few weeks before i’m so sorry for the messages i haven’t gotten back to yet <3
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#it me#vent#i’m so scared to return to work tm#i think i’m a little traumatized from the seizure tbh#and so overwhelmed to walk into work where everyone knows what happened#even if everyone’s nice#i’m still processing and recovering#it’s all sm rn#but in waves i’m starting to get better#online says it can take days to weeks to feel back to normal after a grand mal#so i’m just trying to take it easy and self care it up
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Sure has been a day today chat eh?
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do you ever think about the fact pokemon had on disc dlc since 1996 basically. like that was around the time discs for video games started becoming common. and like yeah i think there's bugs to get most of the early ones and game freak is actually adding them to games now which is neat but like. not only were mythicals one of the earliest examples of on disc dlc they were also an early example of fomo being exploited to sell copies. bc there are literally Pokémon you can’t get At All if you don’t get the game in the timespan game freak does events for it! and the weirdest part about this is that those scummy tactics came about originally entirely as an accident. because mew was programmed in so last minute even some people involved in the game dev didn’t even know about it and there was literally no other way to distribute this weird additional pokemon because you can’t patch a gameboy cartridge online. mew was not a marketing tactic, though it did end up being a big draw, it was genuinely just a result of the early pokemon games being a chaotic passion project (fun fact you can find basically the entire dev history of the first two games online if you wanna see more of that very chaotic dev process. which is actually very common in creating games art is inherently kind of a chaotic mess to make i'm sure most games go through the wild changes early pokemon did and we just dont have massive amounts of dev info leaked from hackers).
like the original pokemon games were not expected to be as popular as they were. like gamefreak wasn’t total nobodies or anything they have worked on successful games before pokemon but it wasn’t intended to be a massive hit it was just expected to be like. a gameboy game. that’d sell reasonably well and be reasonably popular. and it’s wild to see how stuff that kind of came about bc of a very eventful development and last minute decisions become a scummy marketing practice.
#back to my true passion#explaining the dev process of early pokemon games#it is very easy bc it’s basically all archived online
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i think Oliver Banks deserves a cool hourglass necklace. i think he also deserves a nap
#tma#the magnus archives#oliver banks#the end#fanart#digital illustration#i'm working on a full illustration actually but i was very happy with this little sketch#so i wanted to play with post-processing and put it online :3#also playing with render styles#literally just brought my tombow sketch into krita and slapped colors on it#quick and easy and fun
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my irl close friend that's a trans woman had to hear a self proclaimed marxist-leninist non binary who is not out anywhere else but on the internet that being trans is like a concept to them + they use the english equivalent of the noise fairy dust makes when used in children's cartoons as a name. so. that's how things are going 🤓
#nobody wants to talk about how transgenderism has become a fashion trend for a lot of people#on the fear of being ~~acused of invalidating peoples identities#but don't worry. im not afraid. we need to shame these people back into whatever basement they came from because im fucking sick#of people who LOVEEEEEE acting like a transgenderism spokesperson#when there exclusively out on twitter or instagram for their online friends#im also being very nice in using they/them in english. because irl they just use she/her lol#como minha amiga travesti falou: se você não se incomoda com o pronome que usam pra ti vc não é trans ✌🏼 passar bem#for context: getting your name & gender marker changed in brazil is extremely easy#a very accessible process#the fucking least a trans person does it change that
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Maybe... just maybe, if you're spending more time making long posts about hypothetical people getting mad at the content you're creating, than you are actually making the content... you're not very good at curating your own online space, and on top of that, you're risk making the people who do follow you for your content feel like you care more about the people that dislike your content.
#i went on twitter for like 5 seconds and man does this happen a lot#theres an artist i follow here whos content i really like but they. do this a bit and i dont wanna unfollow but#whenever i see it im just like. :| man. i left twitter to avoid this exactly and it feels like im there anyway#twitter is such a cesspool - i genuinely think any artist who is still there is stronger than the soldiers#🫡#anyway. just my two cents on what i see a lot of creators do that kind of gives me the ick#like im not mad. ultimately its your online experience and your space and i can just unfollow but idk its frustrating#please utilize the block button. i promise its so easy.#i promise when you spend less time getting mad about people who dont like your content --#-- that you will appreciate the people who do like your montent much more & youll enjoy the creation process much more too#idk! sorry if this is controversial but seeing it here and then immediately seeing it on twitter the first time i open the app in months-#-is just like. :| yknow#lucipurrs
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anyway my issue with a lot of other helpols (which just makes me avoid the larger community and do my own thing in my corner) is that a lot of them are recon (which is fine!!!) but i am inherently informal and weird as shit in my practice. i call hades and hestia my spiritual dad/mom, hermes gets donuts as offerings when i’m trying to get to class on time and avoid traffic, i once asked artemis to keep deer from jumping out in front of my car on a road trip home with an offering of granola/sports bars. when people get too formal with the gods and pull out the titles, i usually bail bc it makes me uncomfortable. my relationship with my deities is extremely deep and connected, and it’s not that people who have more formal relationships with them can’t also have those, but it’s that if i called hades “lord hades” with any seriousness, he’d hit me with a rock, basically.
i don’t judge other people for their practices or more formal relationships bc honestly, it’s between you and your gods, but like… my go-to offering is the pomegranate brookside dark chocolates, and yes. sometimes i eat them out of my offering dishes the next day.
#i feel like recons are a lot more uhhh#noticeable on this platform? or maybe there really are just more of them#but i feel like us gremlin freaks aren’t very common on here#or maybe we just don’t get many posts bc people don’t relate as much or we don’t do the whole lists of offerings/altar ideas/prayers/etc#my list of offerings for hades won’t work for most people bc he’s very specific in how he reaches out to me#i have a severe aversion to mint. a lot of people put mint in their hades offerings and i know why#but i genuinely hate mint anywhere near me so i can’t use those#so i just don’t bother with a lot of offering lists and making them myself feels like letting people into my underwear drawer? like. that’s#between me and Him‚ basically. although that’s not to imply godspousing or anything i’m just using it as an easy example people will#understand. but yeah idk#i avoid a lot of the helpol community because i don’t feel like i fit in well#i am not recon and never will be bc it doesn’t vibe with my personality or lifestyle#i show my devotation in other ways‚ but those aren’t as easy to post online or share#and i don’t really want to share them either‚ soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#pagan stuff#bones.txt#zeus gets titles when i work with him tho. i know he’s usually in good humor and the one time i made a bid to him for rain it went well#(after 4-6 weeks of processing time) but i still try to be extra polite to him#hades doesn’t care. zeus might actually strike me down with lightning y’know?#or at least threaten it idk
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maybe now that i have adhd meds i can attempt Language again
#i mean ok i had them before but different ones & they didnt work. but i think what im on now is what i was on in hs & those Did work#(& then i stopped bc i was like well i am not in school anymore i dont need these. & then. i moved out. and oops i do need them actually)#(unfortunately due to the adhd & also my medical records having gone fucking missing somehow(???) it um. took a while)#but ough i must learn words......... i just need to Actually set aside time for it . and like keep a fucking notebook im not making the#mistake i made with french where i start out like oh this is easy :) & then it gets harder but i havent been taking any notes & now idk How#& so i just give up. we are not doing that this time we are taking notes From The Start and figuring out what works .#but...... probably not this month. this month is Busy. maybe august..........#thats actually a little bit of a lie bc i Have already started theres a podcast w some basics that i have on my work mp3 player#buuuut its been a minute & also Because i only listen to it at work im not really able to pick up on everything. so im basically still#kind of starting from scratch lmao.#honestly my biggest complaint w the podcast is that like. while it does have a sheet w the translations it doesnt have Pronunciation & bc i#have auditory processing issues i cant actually figure out How they are saying certain words just by hearing them.... bc i dont know that i#actually hearing them Correctly. fucking cannot identify sounds disorder killing me over here#doesnt help that its a language where pronunciation is Quite Different than english lmao......#i did find a pronunciation cheat sheet online somewhere & i . bookmarked it? downloaded it? sent myself a link on discord? fuck idr#but i also dont know if theres significant differences in dialect between the two. idk what dialect the cheat sheet was even made.. for? in#whatever ykwim its 6:30am i need to sleep
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it takes dedication and effort to not reblog any us politics posts, but let me tell you it is an effort i put in gladly
#txt#its soooo easy to be drawn into us politics online but let me tell you i am deliberately not taking part in that process#good luck to yall but i won’t use my energy on a political system i have no influence over in any way whatsoever
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Ça va, mon ami?
... Oui?
#🐝#'?' as in 'maybe???? sorta??? idk' type '?'#okay sorry rant in the tags#does that make sense?#i would say okay but. . rn im just chilling#but my emotions flip flop as easy as flipping a coin#one moment ill be hella sad and upset and then the next it'll be like it never happened#like oh. i was sad?? yeah alr cool ANYWAYS time to watch my favorite actor#happy?? good times??? one wrong word or sentence boom im sad#but then that goes and its like okay well thats over time to be laughing and happy#so yknow i can never say yes because right now i cant recall the last 10 minutes#does that mean im just on autopilot??? maybe.#does that mean my brain is on power-saving low-usage mode??? yes.#yknow i just. i just. my emotions change so smoothly its kinda concerning?#i can go from being in the dumps to just 'eh im good' so quickly its as if it never happened#i just dont process anything longer than 20 minutes. 21 minutes? yeah watch me simping for one of the main 3 i like acting like i wasnt sad#yeah so im just. im just on low energy no-real-attention-needed mode rn mon ami#rewatching a tv show ive watched 30 times. music. dark room. my irl/online bestie/platonic marriage partner isnt on#i mean its just low vibration buzzing brain hours rn
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that is a paper tree farm, not a monoculture forest you walnut
monoculture forests are deeply unsettling in a way that is hard to explain to people who do not spend a lot of time looking at forests
#deep sigh at OP#they are in perfect rows for ease of maintenance and harvesting safety#the lower limbs are all trimmed so the trees will put their energy into growing taller#and they are cedar trees#which grow quickly and have soft wood that is easy to process#so we can have things like toilet paper and books#OP you need to actually know things about trees before making sweeping complaints online please and thank you
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