#EVERYONE TELL ME YOUR BUILDS NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW

[just-aake]

Flustered Crushes

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: The Black Widow does not get flustered. So why is it that Natasha can’t seem to stop embarrassing herself in front of you?

Warnings: fluff

Words: 2795

At the edge of the bustling hangar bay, Natasha leans against the cold, metallic wall, her arms folded tightly, a faint frown etched across her brow as her sharp gaze observes the scene unfolding before her. 

Near the base of the Quinjet’s ramp, you are engaged in animated conversation with Carol Danvers, who happened to arrive at the compound for a quick visit precisely when you returned from your mission.  

You've been with the Avengers for a few months now, a former SHIELD agent seamlessly adjusting to the team dynamics. 

Over time, you've connected with everyone—including her. 

So, Natasha’s made an extra effort to help you feel welcome. 

Clint often teases her about her behavior, insisting her attentiveness borders on something more personal, something like a…crush. 

Natasha dismisses his comments each time with a roll of her eyes. 

She’s just being nice. 

After all, it's only natural to want a solid, dependable relationship with a new teammate, especially someone she'll be working closely with.

That’s the only reason why she came to greet you when you return from your mission.

At least, that’s what she tells herself as she stands there, alone, on the sidelines…not with you. 

Natasha watches Carol say something that makes you laugh, causing her faint frown to deepen.

The flash of amusement in your eyes as Carol grins back makes Natasha roll her eyes and look away, unable to take the sight anymore as a pang of irritation tightens in her chest.

She tries to shake it off, but it doesn’t disappear.

After all, it’s not like she got here an hour before your scheduled return and waited to see you��just to end up watching as the blonde space beauty swoop in, effortlessly captivating your attention.

Deciding she’s had enough, Natasha pushes herself off the wall, preparing to leave.

However, her abrupt movement catches others around her off guard, and she ends up bumping into a passing cart loaded with tools and equipment. 

A clattering sound echoes across the hangar as wrenches and bolts spill onto the floor. 

Natasha curses softly under her breath, a mix of pain and embarrassment coloring her cheeks as she drops to gather the scattered items, apologizing hastily to the technician she collided with before quickly exiting the area.

In her haste, she doesn’t notice your gaze, the subtle smile tugging at your lips as you follow her with amused eyes, tracking her every flustered move across the hangar bay, even as she slips away without a backward glance.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

“So, how’s it going with your crush?” Clint asks, a playful glint in his eyes as he watches Natasha.

Natasha shoots him a warning look that would strike fear into the most fearsome of villains.

Without a word, she grabs the coffee pot, filling his mug before pouring some for herself. She replaces the pot with a decisive click.

“There is no crush,” she states firmly, taking a sip as though punctuating her denial.

“Are you sure about that?” Clint asks skeptically before continuing, “Whenever Y/n’s around, it’s like you lose all of your charm and coolness.” 

Natasha gives him an unimpressed glare. 

“Really? Coolness? That’s the best you’ve got?”

Clint smirks, raising his mug in mock salute.

“Ask me again after I finish this coffee.”

She rolls her eyes, holding her mug close, feeling the warm comfort seep into her hands.

Just as she brings it to her lips, the doors swing open, and Tony strolls into the kitchen, spotting them with their drinks. 

“Oh, coffee! Pour me a cup, Romanoff.”

“Pour your own,” Natasha mutters, savoring her next sip. 

Tony feigns hurt, pressing a hand to his chest in mock shock. 

“FRIDAY, remind me, who owns this building?” 

“You do, sir,” the AI replies smoothly. 

Tony gestures upward triumphantly at her before pointing towards the kitchen. 

“So, technically, that machine is mine, the beans are mine, and...oh, right, that pot of coffee is also mine.” 

Natasha rolls her eyes but eventually reaches for the pot, lifting it begrudgingly.

Tony holds out his mug with a victorious grin. 

But just as she hovers the pot above his cup, she stops short.

“A ‘please’ once in a while wouldn’t hurt.”

Tony’s eyes widen, and he gasps in exaggerated disbelief as Natasha raises a brow in expectation.

Huffing, he mutters, “Can I have some coffee, please?”

“See, that wasn’t so hard,” Natasha quips with a smirk, preparing to pour him his coffee.

At that moment, the elevator dings, and the doors slide open to reveal you, fresh from your morning workout, dressed in your training gear.

You walk by the kitchen, spotting the other Avengers gathered around. 

A delighted smile spreads across your face. 

“Ooh, coffee! Can I have some, too?” 

Natasha’s response is instant. 

“Sure, I’ll make you a new pot.” 

Her tone is warmer than usual, surprising even herself.

You beam at her, and Natasha feels herself pause, momentarily captivated by the sight. Distracted, she almost misses your following words. 

“Thanks, Natasha! Let me change, and I’ll be right back.”

You slip through the doors, leaving Natasha blinking, still trying to regain her composure. 

Tony watches with raised eyebrows. 

“Wait a second—she didn’t even say ‘please,’ and you’re making her a whole new pot?”

Natasha’s eyes narrow as she holds the pot just out of reach of Tony’s mug. 

“Do you want coffee or not?” 

Tony grumbles before muttering a grudging “Yes, please.” 

Satisfied, Natasha pours the coffee, keeping her focus steady. 

“Natasha?” your voice catches her off guard, and she glances up to see you poking your head back into the room. 

“Yes?” she replies a little too quickly, immediately focusing on you. 

Both Clint and Tony fall silent, watching the two of you with curious eyes. 

“Steve’s got a mission tomorrow,” you explain. “Would you mind if I train with you in the meantime?”

Natasha’s mind races for a moment before she steadies herself to answer.

“Uh—yeah, sure. Anytime you want.” 

“Great!” you say enthusiastically before glancing worriedly at the counter. “I think that’s enough coffee.” 

Natasha follows your gaze, eyes widening as she realizes Tony’s cup is overflowing, dark liquid pooling across the counter. She yanks the pot away with a muttered curse. 

“Oh sh—!”

Tony steps back just in time, glaring down at his soaked countertop.

“Really, Romanoff? This is a new suit!” 

Rolling her eyes, Natasha grabs paper towels, unruffled by his dramatics. 

“Calm down, it barely even touched you.”

You let out a small laugh. 

“I’ll be right back,” you say, shooting her a smile as you exit.

“Okay,” Natasha murmurs, her attention lingering on the door.

Clint chuckles as he takes another sip, eyeing her knowingly. 

“You’re right, Nat. It’s not a crush,” he says, leaning back with a smirk. “It’s way worse.”

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

Natasha flashes one of her most charming smiles, leaning just slightly forward as the receptionist fumbles through her files, cheeks tinged with a rosy hue under Natasha’s intense gaze. 

“Here you go!” the receptionist says, her voice soft as she hands over a key card. “I’m sorry again for the mix-up.”

Natasha’s fingers rest lightly over the receptionist’s hand as she accepts the card, her eyes warm and a playful smile tugging at her lips. 

“No problem at all,” she replies, her tone smooth. “I don’t mind the delay with such lovely company.” 

The receptionist blushes deeply, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and giving Natasha a flustered smile. 

Natasha’s confident smirk grows as she watches her charms take effect. 

Quick and efficient, she slips the USB drive from the computer, seamlessly hiding it under her palm as it rests over the key card. For a moment, she feels pleased with herself, effortlessly pulling off her usual charisma.

See, she thinks to herself, Clint has no idea what he’s talking about—she’s got plenty of charm.

“Nice job, Natasha,” your voice suddenly crackles in her earpiece, startling her. 

Her hand slips in surprise, almost knocking over the items on the counter. She turns it into a casual adjustment, but not before the receptionist gives her a curious look. 

Natasha quickly smiles, grabbing the key card and offering a polite nod before walking away toward a secluded corner of the lobby.

Pressing a finger to her comms, she mutters, “Y/n? Where’s Clint?” 

“He had to step out for a minute,” you answer. “He asked me to take over. Is that okay?” 

“No–I mean—yes, of course,” Natasha says, the words tumbling out a bit too quickly. 

She straightens, running a hand through her hair as she tries to regain her composure. It’s not like she hadn’t expected you to assist with missions, but the thought of you watching her…

She tamps down the sudden flutter in her chest and forces herself to stay focused.

“Your next target is on the same floor as the key card you just picked up,” you continue, your voice warm and steady in her ear. 

“Got it.” 

“I’ll explain what you’re looking for.”

Natasha nods and begins striding toward the elevators, hoping her sudden focus will drown out the distraction of your voice in her head. 

She tells herself it’s just a mission—professional, routine.

But now, with you guiding her through the next steps, each word falling from your lips makes it harder for her to maintain her usually calm, steady demeanor. 

Her heart beats a little faster, and her cheeks feel a bit warmer than they should. She brushes off the thoughts and keeps walking, determined to stay cool and collected.

“Um…Natasha?”

She stops mid-step. “Hmm?”

“You’re…going the wrong way.”

Natasha freezes, blinking in surprise. She glances around, realizing she’s heading in the opposite direction from the elevators.

A wave of embarrassment sweeps over her as she lets out a quiet curse under her breath.

“Right,” Natasha says, turning with as much dignity as she can muster, her face heating as she finally heads in the correct direction.

Oh, she thinks to herself, she’s definitely going to kill Clint.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

Natasha steps out of her room, her leather jacket slung over one arm as she adjusts the zipper. 

Your voice calls her name from down the hall, catching her off guard and making her slam the door shut in a startled motion. She spins to face you, only to be tugged back by an unexpected resistance.

Natasha looks down with a sigh, spotting her jacket sleeve caught in the door. Tugging at it proves ineffective, as it stays firmly wedged in place.

Hearing your footsteps approaching, Natasha hastily shoves the jacket behind her back, trying to appear composed. She leans casually against the door, hoping the awkward moment has gone unnoticed.

“Hey,” you greet with a warm smile as you reach her.

“Hey, Y/n,” Natasha replies, attempting a relaxed tone.

You eye her with a hint of curiosity. “Are you…okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine!” Natasha says quickly, forcing a casual smile. “Just, um, examining the door. Thought it could use a closer look.”

Your brows raise in amused surprise at her peculiar explanation, but you let it go. 

“Well, once you’re done with that,” you say, playing along, “I made a reservation at that new place downtown. I was wondering if you’d like to join me?”

“Just the two of us?” The words slip out before Natasha can stop herself. 

A flicker of excitement and amusement crosses your face as you nod. 

“Yeah, just us,” you say softly.

Natasha’s heart gives a small flutter, but she maintains her composure. 

“I’d love to,” she says, a smile slipping through despite her best efforts to stay calm.

“Great, it’s a date,” you say, grinning. “I’ll meet you in the garage.” With a playful smirk, you add, “After you finish your ‘inspection,’ of course.”

As you walk toward the elevator, Natasha watches you with a lingering smile.

Once you’re out of sight, she finally frees her jacket and heads to the garage a few minutes later, finding you waiting by her motorcycle.

You hop on behind her, wrapping your arms around her waist in a snug embrace. 

The warmth of your presence makes her feel a fluttering sensation in her chest she can’t shake. Distracted, Natasha blindly reaches for her helmet and slips it on—only to be met with complete darkness.

With a soft sigh, Natasha’s head drops to her chest, realizing she put it on backward. 

The chuckle that escapes your lips behind her is quickly muffled as you clear your throat, your hands reaching to help her. 

You gently remove the helmet, your fingers brushing her cheek as you pull it off.

When Natasha glances back, she catches the playful look in your eyes as you bite back a grin.

Seeing this, Natasha lets out an exasperated sigh. 

“Can we just pretend the last few minutes didn’t happen and start over? I swear, this doesn’t usually happen to me.”

You laugh, unable to hold back anymore. 

“Oh, I know all about the smooth and charming Black Widow,” you say, your gaze warm and teasing. “But I think this side of you is pretty cute too.”

A faint blush spreads across her cheeks at your words, and Natasha takes the helmet, this time slipping it on correctly, with a soft smile she can’t quite hide anymore.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

It’s another one of Tony’s famous parties, where glittering lights reflect off polished floors and music pulses softly through the spacious hall. 

In the middle of the dance floor, beneath the warm glow, Natasha sways with you, her hands resting gently on your waist as you move together to the rhythm of the soft melody. 

You wrap your arms around her neck, leaning in and drawing her closer until your lips meet hers in a tender, lingering kiss. 

Natasha smiles softly against your lips, and as you pull back, she rests her forehead gently against yours, eyes half-closed in a moment of quiet contentment. 

Even as the music fades into the background, her hands remain firm on your waist, as if she has no intention of letting go.

“Why don’t we get something to drink?” you suggest, glancing over at the bar lined with sparkling glasses.

Natasha only pulls you closer, her fingers brushing lightly along the small of your back as she murmurs, “Or…we could stay right here and have another dance.” 

Her voice is a soft suggestion, and she leans in slightly, her green eyes filled with warmth and alluring charm.

You raise an eyebrow, a knowing smile spreading across your lips. 

“It’s cute how you’re trying to be smooth.”

Natasha’s expression shifts, feigning innocence. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she says, though the faintest blush colors her cheeks.

With a playful glint in your eye, you tilt your head at her in challenge. 

“How long has your bracelet been stuck to my dress?” you ask, giving her a teasing look.

Natasha glances away, the blush deepening as she realizes she’s been caught. She’s spent the past few moments subtly trying to free her wrist from your dress, but to no avail.

“In my defense,” she murmurs, attempting to deflect, “you distracted me with how beautiful you look tonight.”

You chuckle softly at her excuse, reaching up to pull her even closer. With a playful grin, you press a gentle kiss to her lips before leaning in to whisper against her ear.

“Think of the bright side—if you can’t get it loose, I’m sure you could just rip this dress off me.”

Natasha’s breath catches, and for a split second, she’s utterly still, her mind stalling at the suggestion. 

You pull back just enough to watch her expression, and a delighted smile grows on your face as she stares at you, wide-eyed and flustered, clearly caught off guard.

It only takes her a moment to catch on, her eyes narrowing in realization as she shakes her head with a playful huff. 

“You’re trying to embarrass me on purpose,” she accuses, a hint of a smile breaking through.

Unashamed, you bite back a laugh and nod. 

“It’s nice to see the calm and collected Black Widow all flustered for once.”

Natasha’s lips curl into a smirk as she pulls you flush against her, her free hand sliding up your back, fingers grazing along your spine. She leans in, her lips just a breath away from yours, the warmth of her gaze intense.

“Only for you,” she murmurs, her voice a hushed promise before closing the distance, her lips capturing yours in a kiss that makes you forget the world around you, the room fading away as you melt into each other’s embrace.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

a/n: just a short fluff with a soft Natasha that I had finished some time ago. after everything that has happened yesterday and today, I wanted to give some kind of happier distraction, even if it may be only a temporary escape from everything. I’m still going between disbelief, sadness, and anger myself about the situation while also trying to be prepared to continue on. But hopefully, this was able to bring some of you some sort of break from everything else.

[pedroscurls]

you put a spell on me (one-shot)

summary: hugh attends a masquerade-themed party and you capture his attention the moment you step into the building. pairing: hugh jackman x fem! reader content warnings: smut (18+, mdni), fingering, oral - m receiving, multiple orgasms (from reader), missionary (legs over hugh’s shoulders obvi), doggy style, cowgirl, light spanking, unprotected p in v sex (be safe folks!), creampie , no use of y/n. word count: 5.2k a/n: so after all the shit that’s happened in the last twenty four hours, I just needed to write something and Hugh’s most recent post is the inspiration of this story. song lyrics are in italics btw. hope you all enjoy! this is purely fictional! i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman. song: you put a spell on me by austin giorgio

A masquerade ball. 

Hugh was speaking with Ryan and Blake when someone caught the corner of his eye. Turning to look in your direction, he feels his breath catch in his throat at the sight of you descending the stairs to the main dance floor. 

Everyone else in this ballroom was either dressed in tones of black, white, and gold, but you… the color of your deep wine red dress adds just the right amount of color to this room. He can’t help but let his eyes take in your frame - the gown trails behind you so elegantly and serene as you walk, an a-line cut with a slit that reveals your leg, an empire waist that clings to every curve, and the slightly puffy sleeves of your dress makes you look so angelic. When you turn slightly, he takes note of the open back as well, biting his lower lip. 

There’s a familiarity to you, that maybe he’s seen you before, maybe even talked to you before too. Hugh watches your eyes sweep the area and when your eyes meet his, he lets the corner of his lips turn upwards and then he sees you bite your lower lip, returning his smile with one of your own. 

But you’re wearing a masquerade mask, just like he is, just like everyone else in this room is. He can’t tell if he knows you, can’t decide if he should just go up to you and strike up a conversation because if he could hear your voice, it’ll at least give him some idea of who you might be. 

Hugh has to peel his eyes away from you for a moment, turning his attention back to Ryan who’s staring at him with a big grin. 

“What?” Hugh asks, bringing a hand up to adjust the mask on his face. 

“You gonna talk to her?” 

“I don’t know her,” Hugh admits. “Or at least I don’t think I do.” 

“Well, go and find out.” Blake says with a smile, gently nudging him with her arm. 

“Yeah?” Hugh asks. “You think it won’t be awkward?” 

“Well, what was awkward was watching you stare at her like you wanted something, if you get what I mean,” Ryan teases. 

Hugh rolls his eyes and lets out a quiet chuckle. He runs a hand through his hair and then straightens out his bow tie as he nods at Ryan and Blake before he leaves the table in search of you. 

Hugh scans the entire room, trying to catch a glimpse of your red dress in the sea of black, white and gold, but he can’t seem to find you. He places his hands in his pockets as he continues to walk casually throughout the room, stopping every now and then to talk with someone he knows. Even in the midst of the conversations, Hugh’s eyes still search for you. 

Just one glimpse, he tells himself. Hugh just needs to see the color of your dress and then he’ll be able to get to you. 

He excuses himself from another conversation and then decides to walk towards the bar. Hugh sighs to himself, not having found you since you first stepped into the building. He takes the champagne glass from the bartender and then turns his gaze back to the entire room. Very briefly, does he see a glimpse of your smile. His eyes move lower and notices the color of your dress. 

It’s you, finally. 

Taking a deep breath, Hugh takes another glass of champagne and walks in your direction. It takes less than ten seconds to get to you, the person you had been talking to leaving you alone conveniently as he moves to stand next to you. 

“Refill?” Hugh asks quietly, handing you the glass of champagne. 

You smile up at him and Hugh feels his heart race even faster. You don’t say anything, instead you just give him a thankful nod and take the glass of champagne from him, your fingers brushing against his. 

“I’m Hugh,” he says with a small smile. 

“I know,” you finally tell him. 

Your voice is quiet and he can’t tell if he’s heard it before, so he leans in closer. Hugh can hear your breath hitch and it gives him just the right amount of confidence to ask you a question. 

“And you? What’s your name?” 

You lift the glass of champagne to your lips and take a small sip. “Well, what’s the fun in that if I just tell you,” you tease, whispering quietly. 

Hugh smiles and pulls back to look down at you. All of a sudden, no one else in this room matters but you. Everyone fades into the background and all he can see is you. 

“Okay,” he chuckles. “Well, do we know each other? Have we met before?” 

“We’ve met before, yes.” 

Hugh bites the inside of his cheek but he can’t focus. He just wants to reach out and slowly lift the mask from your eyes so he can get a clear view of who you are. 

“Have we worked together?” Hugh asks. 

“I think I should be offended that you can’t tell who I am,” you laugh quietly. 

Your laugh. The way your smile lights up your entire face. There’s that sense of familiarity all over again and it’s a fleeting moment where he suddenly realizes where he knows you from. The after party for Deadpool & Wolverine. He remembered leaving that night with a huge smile on his face after spending the entire night talking with you. 

That was months ago and while you two have had brief conversations between then and now through social media, neither of you ever tried to pursue each other. Though, there was an obvious attraction, an obvious pull that you felt towards one another. 

Hugh doesn’t ask anymore questions about you, but instead he watches you finish your glass of champagne. He smiles to himself and finishes his own glass before he takes yours and sets both glasses down on a nearby table. 

“Would you like to dance?” Hugh asks, large hand extending out for you. 

Gently, you place your hand in his and nod, stepping closer to him. “I thought you’d never ask.” 

Hugh smiles to himself and leads you to the dance floor, his free hand moving to rest on your lower back. He feels your other hand come to rest on his shoulder as he’s careful not to step on the ends of your dress. Even under the shadows of the dance floor, Hugh can see you so clearly. 

you put a spell on me

I’m losing my mind 

As the song begins, Hugh sways with you, hand splaying on your lower back as he feels your skin underneath his fingertips. He bites his lower lip, staring into your eyes through his own mask. He feels a bit at ease with the mask, like everyone else in the room won’t be focusing on the two of you and how you’re both becoming increasingly closer. 

you better stop things 

it’s a matter of time 

You can feel his fingertips run lightly along your back as his eyes remain locked on yours. Since meeting him, Hugh had occupied your thoughts and the brief conversations you had with him always left you yearning for more. It was easy to talk to him; it felt so natural and he always made you laugh. 

Hugh pulls you flush against him, your body pressing firmly against his as the song continues. 

before I hunt you down 

grab your chin

and kiss your lips 

Your eyes move to his lips, biting down on your lower lip in anticipation. The tension between the both of you thickens and your hand on his shoulder moves to rest on his chest, the muscle beneath the fabric of his shirt tensing and flexing at your touch. 

you bring me back

I lay you down 

and grab your hips 

Hugh then drops your hand and moves both of his own to rest on your hips, gripping them tightly as he lowers his head to press his forehead lightly against yours. Quietly, almost above a whisper, Hugh finally says your name with a cheeky grin on his lips. 

“Y–You figured it out,” you say. 

“Knew it the minute you smiled at me,” Hugh replies. 

As you continue to sway on the dance floor with him, your own hands move to wrap around his neck, linking your fingers together to rest at the nape of his neck. 

I put a spell on you 

and now you’re mine 

I’ve got a hold on you 

at least for the night 

“Do you wanna get out of here?” You ask him hesitantly, looking into his eyes hopefully. 

Hugh nods instantly. “Yes,” he answers. 

—

When you finally get to his penthouse, you walk inside and look around, still wearing your mask. You gasp quietly when you feel his strong hands on your hips, turning you around to face him. He slowly lifts his mask off and away from his face, his hazel eyes now glimmering with excitement. 

He’s so handsome, so beautiful and breathtaking. Hugh then reaches up to slowly lift the mask away from your face, eyes gazing directly into your own once he removes it completely. He feels his heart race faster again at the sight of you. 

“Beautiful,” he whispers. 

“Hugh?” You ask, hand coming up to gently run along the lapel of his white suit jacket. 

“Yes, love?” 

“Kiss me, please.” 

Hugh nods and then leans in to press his lips firmly against your own. His hand moved to cup your cheek, fingers splaying against the side of your neck. Your own hands move to the lapels of his white suit jacket, gripping it lightly as you begin to move your lips with his own. You’ve imagined this so many times, but you never thought that it would feel this perfect. 

His free hand moves to rest on your hip, rubbing his thumb against the fabric of your dress. Hugh darts his tongue out to tease your lips and when you let out a gasp, his tongue slides in your mouth to meet your own. The grip around his jacket tightens further and you feel a familiar throbbing between your legs, your wetness now staining the panties you have on. 

Hugh pulls away from the kiss momentarily to look down at you. You’ve occupied his mind since meeting you and the brief conversations you did share has always left him wondering if this could be more. He didn’t want to push this, push you, into something that wouldn’t become anything but the moment he knew it was you, Hugh realized he wanted you. Bad. 

He’s staring into your eyes, searching for any doubt in your features. Hugh drops his hand to rest on the side of your neck, thumb now brushing against your collarbone. “Tell me…” he sighs. “Tell me I’m not the only one that feels something here.” 

“You’re not,” you admit. “I’ve been– Since the night of the party, I kind of expected you to ask me out or…” you feel the heat in your cheeks rise and you bite your lower lip. “I thought maybe I had just imagined it.”

The hand on your hip moves to your back, fingertips grazing your skin as he dips it lower and lower beneath the fabric of your dress. “I didn’t want to scare you away,” he confesses. 

“I don’t think you ever could.” You move your hands up his chest and slowly undo his bow tie, biting your lower lip in anticipation. 

“And if we do this?” Hugh asks, hopefully. 

“Well, if we do this,” you say quietly, your fingers slowly beginning to unbutton his shirt. “It’s not going to be just a one time thing… but if you want it to be a one time thing, then we should probably establish–”

Hugh shakes his head and interjects, “it’s not going to be a one time thing.” 

You smile up at him, your fingertips grazing the exposed skin on his chest as you continue to unbutton his shirt. “Good. Take me to your room?”

“Yes,” Hugh breathes out. He steps back and away from you, taking your hand in his and leading you to his main bedroom upstairs. You don’t even have time to look around, to get acquainted with his personal space that he allowed you to get a glimpse of because the moment you step inside, Hugh gently sets you on the edge of his large mattress. 

You watch him get rid of his bow tie and white jacket, discarding it on the floor. You’re about to reach down to remove your heels, but Hugh drops to his knees in front of you, taking one foot to slide the heel off. You clear your throat, hands resting on the edges of the mattress as Hugh proceeds to your other foot to remove your heel. Slowly, he lifts the ends of your dress to reveal more of your legs, his fingertips hovering lightly over you.

Once your dress bunches up at the waist and he gets a clear view of your matching red lace thong, he has to reach down to squeeze his throbbing erection. Hugh leans in and presses soft kisses on your inner thigh, the stubble of his beard and his sideburns grazing your skin and causing a shiver to run through your body. 

Hugh stares up at you, eyes silently asking for permission. When he sees you nod, Hugh moves further between your legs, his nose brushing against your clothed sex. It causes a gasp to escape your lips, eyes falling shut as nudges you with the bridge of his nose. 

“Hugh,” you whimper. “Please, baby…”

Hugh smirks and pulls away to look up at you. He stands up – albeit with protest from you – and takes your hand. Once you’re standing in front of him, he reaches for the zipper on the side of your dress and lowers it until the dress becomes loose around your frame. He feels your hands come back up to finish the job of unbuttoning his shirt and once it’s fully unbuttoned, you push it off his shoulders and the shirt drops to the floor. He’s now completely shirtless and your eyes deviate to his strong and chiseled chest. You lean in and gently nip along his collarbone, hands coming up to graze his abdomen and up his chest. 

Hugh lets out a quiet moan at your touch. Slowly, he takes your hands and presses a soft kiss on your knuckles before he reaches out to pull down your dress. Once it pools around your ankles, he feels his breath catch in his throat yet again. You’re standing in front of him in a deep red lace bra and matching thong set. 

“You’re breathtaking,” he compliments. “Fuck,” he adds. 

Hugh has always looked at you like the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, has always given you his undivided attention, and right now is no different. You’d usually be very conscious about your body, about how you look, but the way he’s looking at you makes you feel very confident and secure in your skin. 

“I think it’s only fair we take these off, huh?” You say, hands moving to the waistband of his pants. You can see his obvious bulge from beneath his slacks, can see the outline of him and you feel only slightly nervous because he looks big. At least, bigger than you’ve ever had before. 

Hugh nods and then undoes his pants, quickly stepping out of them as he kicks his shoes off. He’s wearing black boxer briefs and you slowly reach out to rest your palm over him, his girth and size not a match for your hand. You’re tugging on his boxers, tugging on the fabric to pull it away from him, but Hugh shakes his head and wraps his arms around your waist instead. 

“Gotta see you first, baby,” he whispers, lips grazing your jawline. Then, Hugh sets you on the middle of his bed, biting his lower lip at the sight of you all splayed out for him. He quickly moves to settle himself between your legs, making sure to press himself against you. When he feels you roll your hips, Hugh lets out a groan. 

Hugh reaches around you and unclasps your bra, pulling it slowly away from your body. He tosses it over his shoulder, eyes moving to your now exposed breasts and he pushes further into you. He hooks his fingers under the waistband of your thong, pulling it down your legs. “Gonna keep these,” he growls, bringing the fabric up to his nose and inhales your scent. 

You bite your lower lip and nod up at him, watching him set your panties on his nightstand. When you look back up at him, Hugh’s eyes scan every inch of your naked frame, almost like he’s committing it to memory. When he presses his clothed length against you, he feels your wetness stain the fabric of his briefs. 

Hugh slowly lowers himself further to press light kisses on your collarbone, lips moving further and further until he wraps his lips around your nipple. He groans to himself and uses his free hand to begin kneading your unattended breast. Hugh feels your hips continue to roll upwards into him and he’s throbbing so painfully beneath the fabric of his boxer briefs. He pulls back, flicking his tongue against your nipple before he moves to give the same attention to your other breast. 

“Oh god,” you whimper. Hugh smiles to himself and moves a hand between your legs, a finger slowly grazing your exposed sex. You’re already so wet, juices building and trickling down to his sheets. He slides the tip of his finger into your heat, growling against you as he feels your walls tighten around him, sucking him in. 

He slides his finger further into your heat, pulling away from your breast to look up at you. Hugh rests his forehead against your temple, whispering lowly in your ear. “You’re so wet, baby…” he smirks, nibbling at your earlobe as he begins to pump his finger in and out of your depths. 

Your hands move to his shoulders, gripping it tightly as your walls begin to tremble. When Hugh pushes another digit into you, your back arches and your fingernails dig into his skin. “Hugh!” You moan loudly, your head tossing back slightly against the mattress as you feel your walls begin to clench around his digits, your orgasm approaching faster than what you’re used to. 

Hugh grins to himself and quickens his pace. He can feel your juices around his fingers, can hear the squelching sounds of his fingers pumping into your wet heat. After a few more pumps, Hugh presses his fingers fully into, palm firmly against your bundle of nerves. 

“Come for me,” he growls into your ear. 

And on command, your walls clench further around him and a loud moan escapes your lips. You roll your hips against his hand, his palm providing the right amount of friction against your clit. When you slowly come down from your high, Hugh then pulls his hand away from you. He sees your arousal coat his fingers and he grins, bringing it to his lips and sucking them off his fingers. His eyes flutter at your taste and he leans back against his knees. 

“God, you taste good.” Hugh’s about to lower himself to get a taste of you directly through the source, but his eyes slightly widen when you sit up and gently push him onto his back. “Baby,” he says softly, seeing the dark gaze in your eyes. Hugh feels your hands tug down his briefs, his erected manhood now resting against his lower abdomen. 

“You made me come,” you tell him, licking your lower lip. “Already,” you continue. 

“Oh, you’re gonna come a few more times tonight before I’m done with you,” Hugh grins proudly. 

You don’t answer. Instead, you lie on your abdomen and grasp the base of length, wasting no time in wrapping your lips around his tip. Hugh lets out a loud groan in surprise, hand coming down to tangle itself in your hair. You whimper at the taste of him, at his girth stretching your mouth. He lifts his head slightly off the bed to look down at you, groaning at the sight of you. You smile at him – fucking smile with his cock in your mouth and it makes him go wild. Hugh rests his head back against the mattress, eyes fully shut tight when he feels you lower your mouth further onto him. 

Your hand strokes what your mouth can’t take and he knows that he can’t fucking come right now, knows that he doesn’t want to come in your mouth when he hasn’t even felt how you would feel wrapped around him. 

“Baby, baby, fuck,” he groans, gently pulling you away from his length. Hugh looks down at himself, seeing your saliva coating half of his size and when he looks up at you, you’re fucking smiling again. He rolls you onto your back and settles himself between your legs, grasping his base and running his tip along your throbbing sex. “As much as I loved the sight of you with my cock in your mouth,” he growls, eyes staring deeply into yours. “I still need to feel you.” 

Then, Hugh pushes his tip into you. He groans to himself, pushing his hips into you as he slides into your tight walls inch by inch. You’re so wet, so warm, so fucking tight. He rests his forearms at either side of your head, gently stroking your hair back and away from your face. He stares into your eyes, rolling his hips into you until he fills you to the hilt. 

“You feel good, baby,” Hugh whispers, lips brushing against yours. He feels your legs wrap around his waist, whimpering quietly as your eyes flutter when he pulls out to his tip only to thrust back into you slowly. “It’s taking a lot of restraint in me to not just…” he slams into you roughly, causing a loud moan to leave your lips. “Fuck.” 

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, moving your lips to his jawline and neck. “Fuck me, Hugh… I can take it. I promise.” 

Like a switch turned on, Hugh pulls back and sits back on his knees. He brings your legs to drape over his strong shoulders as he slides back into you. He turns his head and kisses the inside of your calf gently, softly, as he delivers a sharp thrust into you. 

Hugh’s thrusts don’t falter, his skin slaps against yours as he picks up the pace. When he leans forward, your legs still over his shoulders, you feel him slide further into your depths. He rests his hands on the mattress, using it to ground him as he feels your walls slide along his throbbing length, gripping him so tight. 

You can feel the tightness begin to build, your walls beginning to clench once more as your orgasm looms closer and closer. You reach out to rest your hands on his chest, feeling like you can’t handle anymore. Your body is overly sensitive and with each drag of his hips, with each push he thrusts into you, is enough for your walls to tighten even further around his length. 

“Oh god,” you moan aloud. “Hugh!” 

Hugh groans at the sight of you, at the feel of your walls clenching and trembling around him. He slows his thrusts for a moment, placing your legs back to your side as he stares down at you. “That’s two,” he grins proudly. Hugh pulls out completely, looking down at his length to see it slick with your arousal. 

“It’s not a game,” you pant, moving to sit up with your legs still spread wide for him. 

Hugh smirks, reaching down and stroking himself slowly as his eyes take in your entire frame. He’s surprised that he’s held out this long, driven by his desire to get you to come at least one more time before he does. 

“Really? Because I’m kind of enjoying myself, baby.” 

You narrow your eyes and then slowly roll yourself into your abdomen. You bury your face against the softness of his pillow as you bring the sheet to cover your lower half. “Good, well I’m gonna get some sleep. You can fix that little problem yourself.” You bite your lower lip, knowing that Hugh’s not going to like that. When you look over your shoulder at him, you can see his lower lip between his teeth and he tugs the sheet down and away from your body. 

“Oh, we wanna be a tease, huh?” Hugh straddles your hips, caging you in as he brings his hand lightly down your ass. The sound of his palm connecting with your backside echoes throughout his room. You gasp loudly, fully surprised that you actually like it. “We like that, do we?” Hugh smirks and then spanks you once more, feeling you wiggle back into him. “Oh, baby, you’re naughty.” 

Then, he slides into you fully, this new position making you feel even tighter around him. You reach back, trying to push him away – your walls so sensitive with two orgasms already. Hugh clicks his tongue and grabs your hands and places them above your head, gripping your wrists firmly. He rolls his hips into you, eyes fluttering at the feel of you around him. 

“Hugh, baby, please–”

Hugh interrupts you with a harsh thrust, resting his chest firmly against your back as he whispers into your ear. “Tell me how it feels, love,” he pants, a groan leaving his lips. 

“Feels good,” you whimper, pushing back against him. “You’re so–” your breath catches in your throat when he pushes all the way into you, filling you so fully and deeply. He’s crowding your space, holding your wrists down, the weight of his body weight firmly pressing against yours, and his tip kissing your most inner parts… it’s enough for you to reach yet another orgasm. 

“Fuck, Hugh!”

Hugh releases your wrists to grab your hips and pull out of you abruptly. He turns you over and leans down to lap at your juices, eyes fluttering at your taste as his tongue helps you ride out your climax. Your hand immediately moves to his hair – what was once neatly done for tonight’s event now is a complete mess as you tug and pull. 

Hugh brings a hand to press his thumb firmly against your clit, feeling your entire body tremble and shake against him. 

“Hugh!” you moan loudly, back arching. You’re truly spent and he’s still so fucking hard for you. When he pulls away, he licks his lips and gently slaps your already-sensitive pussy, which causes a gasp to escape your lips. You’re breathing so heavily, chest raising as you stare at him with a dazed look on your face. 

“Three?” He smirks. 

“How are you still…” you bite your lip and see him move to lie down next to you, his hand dropping down to slowly begin to stroke himself. “Don’t you want to come?” 

Hugh growls lowly, eyes looking at you from top to bottom. “I do,” he answers. “But seeing you come is just as good.” 

You take a few deep breaths and then slowly move to straddle his waist. You take hold of his base, holding it firm in your hand. You keep your eyes locked on his and slowly lower yourself onto him, feeling his girth stretch you out once more. You know you won’t be able to last long, your entire body already on overdrive. When you slowly begin to lower yourself onto him, inch by inch, it surprises you at how deep he feels in this position. Your walls slide down each inch of his length and when you lower yourself completely, until you’re sitting firmly on his lap, your hands move to rest on his chest.

“So deep,” you whisper, slowly rolling your hips forward and backwards, the hair at his base providing just the right amount of friction against your clit. “Now, it’s your turn to come– Hugh!” 

He delivers a sharp thrust upwards, hands moving to grip your hips tightly and his fingertips dig into your flesh. Hugh licks his lower lip, staring up at you as you try your best to hold out another orgasm just so he can come. It’s cute, very considerate, but he needs one more out of you. Hugh isn’t usually like this, but there’s something about you that brings out this feral animal in him. 

One hand moves to grasp your breast, massaging and kneading it into his palm as his other keeps a tight hold on your hip. Hugh lets out a loud moan when he feels you begin to bounce along his length – all the way to his tip and back down completely. He’s close, he’s surprised he’s even held out this long with coming, but he knows he’s close and he can’t hold it anymore. 

“Baby–” Hugh groans, thumb brushing against your nipple as he sits up and wraps his arms around your waist. You continue to move along his length, your own hands moving to rest on his shoulders. In the time that he’s known you, you’ve always been so determined, especially when you put your mind on something and right now is no different. 

He feels you lean in to press your lips against his own. It’s a messy kiss, but fueled with so much passion, so much intensity. Hugh feels the tightness build and build in the pit of his stomach as his hands hold you firmly still, his hips stuttering upwards into you at an erratic pace. 

“Oh god,” he groans, pulling away from the kiss to bury his face against the side of your neck. Slowly, he feels your hips roll forwards and backwards, causing a shiver to run through his body. Hugh pulls back enough to look up at you and he sees that same fucking grin on your face. With an arm wrapped around your waist, he rolls you onto your back and slowly pulls out of you, seeing his release trickle out of you. 

He’s about to say something, but you interrupt him by reaching down to scoop some of his release onto your finger and lift it to your lips. Without hesitation, you suck the remnants of his release off your fingertip and maintain eye contact. 

“Minx,” he groans. 

You smile and lean up to kiss his cheek, resting your head against his shoulder. “I don’t think I’ll be able to walk for the next few days,” you giggle. “I can’t believe you made me come three times.”

“Let’s aim for four next time,” Hugh grins.

“I don’t know if I can do four…” you laugh. 

“Oh, baby, I believe in you,” he winks and moves to hover above you again. Hugh’s hand comes up to rest on your cheek, thumb brushing against your skin lightly. “But before we do that, can I take you out on a real date?”

You nod and turn your head slightly to kiss the inside of his wrist. “Yes, Hugh.”

Hugh grins and then leans down to capture your lips in a slow, passionate kiss.

---

forever taglist: @haytchee @wolverigrl

[merakiui]

hi, i was checking your twst yandere tag and

idia thoughts? :3

I love Idia. The STYX bgm is a banger. Ignihyde's entire aesthetic is amazing. Book 6 is so scrumptious. OTL I could go on and on.

Whenever I think about yan Idia, I automatically default to STYX Idia thoughts only because I crave an Idia who is a little crazy beneath the awkwardly sweet, endearingly shy otaku who stalks you through the cameras and is too nervous to interact irl. Those parts are wonderful of course, but I just know the guy who rebuilt his dead brother (obviously it's not as simple as that and there's so much more grief and trauma intertwined with those actions),,, but the fact still stands that he built the first technomantic humanoid Twisted Wonderland has ever seen....... HE'S CRAZY SMART!!!! And you can't tell me he wouldn't perform other potentially morally and ethically dubious things in an effort to satisfy grotesque curiosity or some other delusion.... ethics at STYX only go so far until Idia-sama is in charge and as Acting Director everyone else must listen to him. I know he hates his job and doesn't want to inherit it, but ooooooo he's so fine in the STYX uniform.

And also,,, with how his parents are I think they're probably going to ignore the very obvious obsession in the room because as long as Idy is happy it doesn't really matter (and you'll be taken care of and cherished so wonderfully). >w< Mama Shroud saw his files when she logged into his computer in book seven and ever since then she just wants her boy to be happy and in love. Maybe it's even a surprise Idia found someone...... Idia and his father are so similar, so maybe it's a case of both of them being shocked the other found a lover. T_T but now he has a 3D beloved and Mama Shroud couldn't be any happier. I have so many thoughts on the dynamics........

AND HIS PARALLELS WITH ROLLO?!?!?!? Insane....... the way they both grieved entirely differently but could understand all of the feelings that come with mourning. And how they chose to act on that. The anger and the unfairness. Anger at the world, at themselves, at those around them. The self-blame and self-hatred. The burdens of mourning all alone and feeling like no one else can help or did help and that no one can truly understand or sympathize.......... I'm just rambling about everything Idia now... the thoughts are everywhere!!!!!

I just think there's so much potential with Idia who is as smart as he is. He is genuinely so efficient and if he wanted to build something that would make it easier to stalk you or to keep you with him or some other wild yan concept he absolutely would and it would be finished within the day. He's so cool........ orz the power he has...

[jweekgoji]

Hello! Your writing is amazing! Can I request a yandere Sentinel Prime with a femme reader who has an overprotective Sire? Her sire does not care about who Sentinel is and clearly does not like him and it pisses Sentinel off. Take your time!

Yandere!Sentinel Prime/Femme!Reader with an overprotective sire [hcs]

tw: yandere behavior, mentions of manipulation, jealousy, very brief violence, possesiveness. word count: ~890 a/n: for some reason, I can see Ultra Magnus being this father figure, hehe. thank you for request, Anon~ smoooooch

Your sire doesn't like Sentinel? Well, that certainly wasn't in the plans for him. He expects everyone to treat him like a royalty and look up at him, so when someone treats him differently, it kinda catches off guard.

I don't think yandere!Sentinel will go into his 'killing mode' the moment he sees an obstacle, mainly because he's sure he can take care of that in a classy way.

Sentinel is definitely that guy who really wants to make a good first impression on your sire. He might act like a really confident mech in front of you, but for some reason, he is a little nervous about the thoughts of meeting your sire.

In his mind, it really goes quickly from «oh come on, why would her father dislike me? Everyone loves me!» to «oh Primus. what if he hates me?» and that's how it repeats 24/7. Eventually, the confident Sentinel wins, but he takes a lot of time to prepare for any possible scenario. Everything should be perfect, every single smallest detail is personally checked by him, so nothing goes past.

Imagine Sentinel's expression when your sire harshly brushes it off with a «You're not good enough for my daughter and I don't want you around her. End. Of. Story» and just SLAMS the door shut into his face the moment the other bot sees him. Basically, that's where everything goes wrong. Oh, his poor ego.

Yandere Sentinel especially hates when something goes wrong and not according to his plan. He's a perfectionist, and if he spots any imperfections, it's a total disaster for him! His mood quickly changes from sweet and kind to annoyed and impulsive, so it's better to stay away from him for a good few minutes until he takes a deep breath and goes like «this is fine...everything is fine! :)» with his optic twitching and a small frown on his faceplate, which is easily noticed through his smile.

Yandere!Sentinel gets paranoid with the thought that your sire will start putting the wrong thoughts in your processor, talking trash about him behind his back, so eventually you will start to question your love for Sentinel as well. So, he decides to step in and turn the tables, planting the seeds of distrust about your parental figure. Does your father really care that much for you? Nothing is wrong with being a little protective over your own little spark, but you're no sparkling, you should build your own life!

He does it carefully, using tiny, innocent and careful remarks whenever you two are alone after another disastrous meeting with your sire.

«If your sire really wants what is best for you, why he takes your chances of happiness?»

Until he practically struck you with a head-on, «You always tell me that you love me. So you should choose. Me or him.»

Sentinel is selfish. A small part of him understands how ridiculous it is, to feel jealousy just because your mentor is present in your life. But when you start having more of those father-and-daughter times together, when your attention goes more to your sire rather than him, all rationality in his processor just disappears.

He spends half the day trying to call for you. He wants to know where the frag you are and WHY you don't pick up his calls immediately, since he needs you right here and now. As his partner, you're obligated to always be there for him, and being ignored by you...the audacity!

Sentinel walks in circles in his office, and the silence is bothering him to the insanity. One moment, he will start crying his spark out to her about it.

“After everything I have done to her..! Can you imagine that?” he looks at Airachnid for validation, his voice full of frustration. “I swear, if she calls back, I'm going to tell her everything I think of her, that—”

But the moment he sees your name popping up on the screen, he is conflicted. On the one hand, he wants to pick up immediately, on the other hand, he doesn't want to seem desperate. So he waits a few seconds until he finally decides.

Airachnid gives him almost a disappointed look as she sees her boss using that sweet voice when he talks to you. Suddenly, Sentinel is not that angry anymore, and if anything, he's relieved to finally see and hear your precious voice. He almost forgets about what he said a moment ago until you hit him with «oh, sorry Sentinel, I was with my sire all day. I can't visit you today. See you tomorrow!».

He almost snaps the device in his servo by the end of the call.

Eventually, Sentinel gets exhausted from all of it. He really tried, despite the constant disrespect from your sire. He has no remorse when he finally asks Airachnid to deal with the obstacle in his way of getting you, covering the story as an incident. The death of your sire would shatter you, but don't worry, you will heal soon enough with him by your side.

[changetyre]

Not like this (P10) II Charles Leclerc x Reader (Mafia AU)

SUMMARY: After losing everything you seek out your biggest and longest-standing enemy to finish it all.

WARNING: Violence, blood, mentions of death, slow burn.

A/N: Better late than never...

As you sped away into the night, tires screeching against the damp pavement, the silence in the car seemed louder than that of the gunfire you'd just escaped. You kept your gaze trained forward, unwilling to betray any hint of the turmoil in your mind. You never meant to drag him into this mess, yet here he was, determined to help you when he could have easily abandoned you or killed you. 

You hadn't spoken a word since you'd bolted from his place, the weight of unspoken thoughts hanging heavily in the car. Finally, he broke the silence, voice low but tense.

"Did you let anyone see you? In your little escapade?" he asked his grip tight on the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the road.

You glanced at him, unsure whether it was anger or something else. "No. I was careful Charles."

His jaw clenched. "You're sure no one caught even a glance?"

"I don't know," You replied honestly, averting your gaze. "It's possible Charles...I-I don't know."

He scoffed. "You don't know..." he repeated your words. 

"Charles I told you you didn't have to do this. Are you second-guessing your decisions? Why did you even run with me then?" I questioned him, aware of the building tension between us. 

He laughed bitterly. "Good question. Maybe I have a weakness for trouble. Or maybe," he glanced at you, his dark eyes softening as he looked at you, "I'm not as willing to let you go as I should be."

You let out a shaky breath. Your walls, carefully constructed over years of deceit and control, felt dangerously close to crumbling. Here you were, vulnerable and exposed, relying on the man you'd once thought of as nothing but an enemy. 

"Pull over," You said abruptly, your voice barely above a whisper.

He shot you a sideways glance, eyebrows knit in confusion. "Are you insane? Do you want to get killed now? They could have followed us you know?"

"Just pull over!" you screamed, your desperation left no room for argument.

Reluctantly, he guided the car to a secluded side street, the engine growing silent. You leaned forward, your head in your hands, and your breathing was uneven.

For a moment, he thought you might be on the brink of passing out, the overbearing weight of everything finally overtaking you. But then you lifted your head, meeting his gaze with a fierceness he hadn't seen in you in a long time.

"You don't get it, do you?" you laughed, a defeated laugh, voice shaking with a mixture of anger. 

"Whoever did this to me...whoever is coming after me won't stop. They're cruel. They've already wiped out everyone in my circle, everyone I ever cared about, and trusted. They just came after you too Charles. I'm the last loose end...and anyone who gets close to me becomes a target, you've become a target." you looked him straight in the eyes. 

"I'm not exactly a stranger to danger," he replied, his voice calm but with a firmness to it. "You think I haven't faced threats before? I'm not some helpless bystander."

"This is different Charles" you insisted, frustration evident in your voice. "They're organized, smart. They know my moves, my strengths, my weaknesses. And now...they know you're involved."

His expression softened, and he reached over, his hand grasping yours, warm and grounding. "I'm not running away. As I said, we're doing it together...and we'll be ready"

You stared at him, still confused as to why he was so adamant to stay by your side. For so long, you'd built your life around distrust, convinced that everyone would betray you. But here he was, offering support...and maybe something else she was to scared to face. 

"Ok." I nodded looking down at your linked hands, a small sigh of resignation slipping out. "This won't be pretty Leclerc. There's no telling what they'll throw at us next."

He smirked, shifting the car back into gear. "Let them come." His tone was so confident it almost made me believe there was no way we would be defeated. 

Charles started driving again, in silence, but it was different this time. The tension that had once simmered between you now felt like something else his hand remained linked with yours and it wasn't awkward. You tried to ignore the way your pulse quickened whenever his fingers brushed against your hand or the way he would use your hand to change gears instead of letting go. You tried focusing on formulating a plan, piecing together the scattered fragments of information you had.

"We need somewhere safe to hide out," he said after a while, breaking her thoughts. 

"I know a place," she replied, her voice steady. "But I have no way to tell if it's compromised. Could be dangerous."

"Risks don't scare me." Charles smiled. 

You hesitated. "It's an old safehouse on the outskirts of the city, that belonged to my great-grandparents. Hardly anyone knows about it. Or at least I hope." 

"We can't keep driving forever. We have to risk it." Charles agreed. 

You nodded, Your mind already shifting into a tactical mode, plotting the next steps. If you reached the safehouse, you'd have a chance to gather supplies, and maybe even access some information about who was behind the attack. But a gnawing doubt and fear lingered, that the safehouse was already compromised. 

The drive felt endless, the road twisting through darkened streets and deserted alleyways. You drove all night, city lights faded as you moved toward the outskirts, replaced by the eerie silence and loneliness of abandoned buildings. Finally, you arrived, the safehouse looked just like every other abandoned house you'd passed, with no indication of recent activity. 

You'd exited the car cautiously, scanning the area for any sign of movement. You led him to a hidden door on the side of the building, taking a deep breath before pressing a series of numbers into a camoflaged keypad. A few seconds passed before a door clicked open, and you both quickly slipped inside, your relief was palpable as the heavy door sealed shut behind you.

The safe house was sparse, a relic from another life. Dust covered the surfaces, and the air was stale, but it was uncompromised. You motioned for him to sit while you searched for supplies, grabbing a first-aid kit from a cabinet in the corner.

"You're bleeding," he noted, his tone a mixture of surprise and concern.

You glanced down, You'd noticed the red seeping through your clothes in the car but chose to say anything knowing Charles would only grow concerned. But the adrenaline was fading, and the pain was creeping up. "I'll be fine. I've handled worse." You waved him off. 

He took the kit from your hands, his gaze dark. "Sit down." he ordered.

You relented, allowing him to tend to your deep but minor wound. You couldn't help but be reminded of the night that started it all, Charles's touch once harsh and uncaring now the opposite. 

His was careful and precise, and you found yourself studying him, the light furrow of his brows. You once hated him, seeing him as nothing more than an obstacle in her way. But now, as he focused intently on your wounds, you felt a strange warmth bloom in your chest, one you didn't dare acknowledge.

"Thank you," you murmured, your voice barely audible.

He looked up, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. "Don't make this a habit." He joked. 

"You growing fond of me Leclerc?" You smirked. He stared at you, your gazes locking for a few seconds but he didn't answer. 

"We need to figure out who's behind this," he said finally, breaking the silence. "I might have a few contacts who might know something, but it's a gamble."

You nodded. "I might know some people to, it seems whoever is behind this knows I'm not dead so there's no point in trying to stay invisible anymore."

"Then we'll start there." His voice was steady, but his gaze lingered on you, searching. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"I don't have a choice," you replied, your expression hardening. "Whoever did this won't stop until I'm dead. I have to face them head-on."

The determination in your voice was fierce, and he couldn't help but feel a surge of admiration. You were stronger than he'd ever accepted, and despite everything, he was glad to be by your side.

It took 3 days. You took turns sleeping making sure someone was always alert, when you were both away you worked together to plan your next steps, to find information. On the third day once it was finally getting dark you set your plan into motion. 

You were going to split up, each to contact your own sources, gathering whatever intel you could find. You had insisted it was safer this way, less chance of both of them being targeted at once, he had refuted, adamant on sticking together but you had somehow convinced him despite a part of you hating the idea of leaving his side. You agreed that maximum in a week from now you were to meet here again. 

If one of you didn't show up...it was clear what that meant. 

"Promise me you'll be careful," you said, surprising yourself with the fragility of your voice.

He gave you a reassuring nod, his hand taking yours in an action that had become familiar. "You too." his grip on your hand tightened. "We're going to get through this." he sighed as if also trying to convince himself of this. 

With one last glance, you parted ways. 

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) - Part 3

Or: a secret Admirer AU

PART 1 || PART 2

Chrissy Cunningham just slipped a note into someone’s locker. Robin doesn’t know whose, but it’s not Steve Harrington’s. She knows, because she’s had the absolute blessing of having him as her locker neighbor all year. And based on how often she’s seen Chrissy loitering in front of it with him, the gossip mill is right about their budding relationship.

Except Chrissy just slipped a note into someone else’s locker.

Robin watches her walk away, stomach curdling at Harrington’s name branded on her back. He might as well have raised a leg and pissed on her.

The hallway is largely vacant, everyone in their last periods of the day. Robin had been on her way to Pre-Calc after a quick stop at the restroom, but she’s scrapping that idea now: there’s a mystery afoot.

Robin hunches over the drinking fountain at the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. She pushes the button but makes sure her mouth is well out of the stream of contaminated water. She’s not willing to risk botulism, not even for Chrissy.

The footsteps walk by without a pause, so she stands up, wiping the bit of splash-backed water off her cheek as she waits. After a few more false starts, and the clock ticking down to the end of the day, she’s almost ready to give it up as a bad job.

But then someone else starts stomping down the hall. She watches out of the corner of her eye, once again bent over the fountain, as Eddie Munson spins the dial on the locker and pulls it open. He immediately plucks an envelope out, pulls the tab open, and retrieves a pale-blue piece of paper.

Robin’s thumb slips on the button for the water–the abrupt absence of sound must tip him off because he turns to her, a scowl already on his face as he asks, “what are you looking at?” as he clutches the note tightly to his chest.

It’s too late. She’d already seen him smile down at it, blushing and twirling one of his curls around his fingers.

It sinks into her stomach until she’s sick, a pit to nurture and grow in the acid of her intestines. She can almost feel them writhing as Eddie’s scowl deepens into a glare the longer her silence goes on.

“Nothing,” she says, averting her eyes to bend down and pretend to tie her shoe.

Eddie huffs, and she listens to him stomp down the hall, as something wet and embarrassing begins pooling in her eyes.

She spends the rest of class hiding in the bathroom trying to get her shit together by brute force.

It doesn’t work; it never does.

***

After the random band girl had creeped on him in the halls, Eddie stuffed the letter into the pocket of his vest, half-read. The anticipation builds through the rest of the period and all the way home.

In the comfort of his bedroom he reopens the envelope and peers inside, giddy at the thought of reading the rest of the letter, this time a response to his own words. 

Should he light a candle? Dim the lights? Eddie hasn’t seen a romance movie in a long time, but this feels like the sort of moment to recreate a scene from one. He’s getting love letters. Plural. Him. Eddie of the Munson doctrine.

He doesn’t even own any candles.

       Eddie – 

       I’m not trying to bully you. I do actually really like you, and I wish I was brave enough to tell you. Brave like you. It doesn’t seem like you’re afraid of anything.

       It’s ok if you don’t know how to respond, I’m just glad you did at all. I read it at least ten times and keep it in my nightstand drawer.

       Sorry, that might be too much.

       Yours, Always,

       Your Secret Admirer

       P.S. You’re always the best part of my day. I’m just glad I can read it at all. I’ve seen your penmanship, and I was a little worried. :)

Eddie brushes his fingers against the sign-off, the pen such a light touch that he can barely feel the grooves in the paper beneath that immaculate ink.

“Yours, always,” he says, quietly in the privacy of his bedroom.

But, he’s not alone in this shoebox, so Uncle Wayne’s voice calls a too-loud, “what?” from where he’s probably still in his recliner, camped out in the living room.

“Mind your business, old man!” Eddie calls back, already lost in the land of daydreams by the time Wayne’s laugh travels back through the door he’d forgotten to close.

Wayne’s always been a good secret keeper, but this one’s too big to share. It feels weighty somehow, like it’s an overfilled water-balloon and telling Wayne, or Jeff, or anyone might fill it up to bursting.

He doesn’t want to pop this fragile thing, not when he doesn’t even have a face or a name.

He wants to know what her name sounds like on his tongue, the way her mouth purses as she carefully writes each of these little words. He wants to know what her skin feels like beneath his careful fingers.

He wants.

But, a Munson’s a Munson, and they can’t always get what they want, so he presses his pen to the paper and settles for what he can have. Not a name, maybe. Not yet, but some questions still deserve an answer, right?

*** 

“I can’t believe we didn’t think of setting a drop-off location,” Steve says, biting his nails the way his mom has always hated. He spits the bit of nail out onto the floor. Chrissy gives him a disgusted look. “What? I’m nervous!”

Nose still wrinkled, Chrissy mutters, “that’s no excuse to be a pig,” barely loud enough for him to hear.

Steve stuffs his hands beneath his armpits, scowling down at the linoleum as they make the increasingly familiar trek to the library. Before the past couple weeks, Steve could count the number of times he’d been in here on one hand, and every single one of them was because of Nancy.

Now, it feels like he and Chrissy are always camping out at one of the tables, crouching over notepads and whispering even if the library’s empty. Steve might not be the smartest guy around, but he’s not stupid; if anyone finds out about this, he’ll be lucky to make it out of town before someone kills him.

“Calm down,” Chrissy says, holding the door open for him. He steps past her, hands still crossed over his chest in what’s starting to feel increasingly like a self-soothing hug.

Chrissy must think the same because she wraps her tiny arm around his waist and leads him toward a familiar bookshelf. “He probably left it in the same place as last time.”

The word “probably” isn’t bringing him much comfort, but Chrissy doesn’t give him any more time to catastrophize before she’s pulling that same useless encyclopedia off the shelf and flipping it open. And there, tucked cozily into its pages, is another note in Eddie’s scrawl.

Steve smiles down at it before remembering their location. “You didn’t even check for witnesses,” Steve hisses.

He peers over her shoulder, eying the lone student in the research section who’s bent over a heavy tome, paying them no mind. He snaps out of it when Chrissy slaps the letter against his chest before tucking it into the pocket of Steve’s varsity jacket. She’s taken to wearing it almost religiously, even as all the other cheerleaders tease her mercilessly for it.

“Calm down,” she says, already striding away, off toward their usual table as Steve rushes to catch up. “If anyone sees, they’ll just think I’m his secret admirer.”

Logically, he knows that. But some part of him feels like everyone will take one look at his face and just know. And no matter how hard he tries, it’s not a feeling that’s easy to shake.

“Thanks, Chris,” he mumbles, bumping their shoulders together. She stumbles from the unexpected weight, but before Steve can help steady her, she’s bumping back into him with a happy laugh.

No matter how this all goes down, he can’t regret it, not when it brought the revelation that is Chrissy Cunningham into his life.

Settled into their usual chairs squeezed tightly together, she opens the letter and slides it closer to him. Steve’s eyes devour each word as she sits idly by, waiting for his response.

         Secret Admirer,

         Oh, how your words wound me! My penmanship is immaculate, I’ll have you know. But it doesn’t seem fair that you know enough about me to recognize my handwriting, and I can’t say the same.

         I understand if you don’t want to tell me your name, but what do you like to do for fun? What’s your favorite color? What do you dream about?

         Can you give me anything? You call me brave but sending me these letters is the bravest thing I can think of, and every day I get one of your letters is the best day I’ve ever had.

         Sincerely,

         Eddie

         P.S. I hope I dream of you tonight.

Steve doesn’t realize he’s sighing wistfully down at the page until he catches Chrissy hiding a smile behind her hand. He smacks her in the arm with a quiet, “shut up,” but his ears are already burning.

“Can I see?” she asks, and all the fondness floods back into him.

“Course,” he says, pushing it across. He watches her face avidly, heartbeat ratcheting up as he watches a smile bloom across her face.

“He’s sweet,” she says, smiling dreamily down at the page for a moment before looking up at him with waggling eyebrows he couldn’t have imagined seeing on her face even a week ago. “He wants to dream of you.”

Her voice warbles teasingly, and the warmth on his ears starts creeping onto his cheeks and down his neck. Unable to help himself, Steve shoves her arm again. “Shut up!”

All she does is laugh and latch onto him to keep herself upright.

“He wants to know you,” she says, still smiling, still teasing, but it’s okay when it’s her, not like Tommy’s cruel ribbing or Carol’s barbed words. “So, what do you want him to know?”

[badaboomx]

I'll let you do it, hands free (Bada Lee x Fem!Reader)

PAIRING: Bada x Fem!Reader.   SETTING: A sequel from THIS - The game of cat and mouse began, and Bada is the cat on the prowl. WORDS: 3.1k

ⓘ  Sequel that really just tests my patience for tension building I swear to god–.

A game of cat and mouse had started between the two of you, not by desire but by…

“This is a competition. It was a great impression for TV, but don’t do that again,” said your leader after you all read the note from that mysterious sender. Though, you knew exactly who it was even if no one had said anything out loud. 

Despite being praised for such a wild moment for television (even if it doesn’t get aired, it’ll remain in many’s memories), you were told to consider the competition as a whole now. You weren’t ranked badly in this round, but a wrong move in the next one and you could end up in the bottom – or eliminated. Then, all this traveling would be for nothing.

Not like there was any time for you and Bada to even exchange words. After that moment, it was a war of nerves and stress with the first mission coming full speed ahead. 

Next came group battles and you and your team had the chance to tear up the stage together against another team directly. And it was as if whoever was making the matches was thinking of great television moments to fill up the screen with, because when BEBE was announced next, your team was pitted against them.

God bless a good plotline, huh?

“Ah, we can’t lose this one,” one of the members said. “We won’t, we just tear it up like we always do,” your leader said, looking at you and proceeding. “Are you ready?”

The other members were holding a smirk and laughter back, for that comment had two layers. One, it was the leader tacitly reminding you to behave and keep your head in the game. Two, reminding you that you were about to battle with the woman who sent you that curious little note. You stood up tall, pushed your shoulders back a bit and merely responded with a smile.

You both stood there facing each other, your crew of smaller numbers against BEBE full of faces you were only getting familiar with. A handful of them were fresh faced and rookies like you, but you could tell they were slightly intimidated by you and your presence. The one putting up the tough, cool front was their leader and you didn’t take offense. Your leader did that too, even if you were all nervous and anxious.

Bada had the mic, holding it like she was about to spit celestial bars. Instead, it was time for a bit of trash talking.

“We already know one of you can’t battle,” Bada said firmly into the mic, glancing your way but never letting her gaze linger. “So I’m not worried, we will win.”

The oohs and ahhs of the spectators flew largely over your head, because Bada nervously licking her lips and only facing your leader was tell-tale signs that everyone in your crew caught on. Your leader had to hold in some laughter when she handed you the mic for you to respond.

With mic in hand, you merely said. “Ah, can’t look at me in the eyes when you say that?”

It made one of your members giggle at the very least, but you had tuned out the world around you to laser focus on Bada and the way she reacted to that. She only let a small moment drift by as she nodded with her lips pressed together before she retorted, walking up to you and staring you down. “Is this better?” she paused for a second. “You. Can’t. Battle.”

Oh? What’s this? Behind the cap, hidden in its subtle shadows, were the eyes of a woman fascinated with you. She looked tough and serious, but a twinge of curiosity permeated her gaze in a way that was tough to describe. At that moment the host talked and told Bebe to get back in position to begin the match. You read that codified message written all over Bada’s face.

‘Let’s play?’

And you were ready to play.

BEBE began with their routine, a powerful showcase as you expected. The fresh faced kids showcasing they weren’t meant to be messing, Bada showing that she would face you and you directly as they all stepped up on your and your crew’s face. But she knew what she was going to do when she got right in your face. At the same time as her, your chest popped to the rhythm of their music of choice and closed the space she didn’t dare to close. Noses just measly inches apart for that brief moment she was up on your face. In the blink of an eye that taunt showcased to everyone that you weren’t slacking, you were paying attention and were predicting Bada’s move. It gave a message to people, but most importantly it was a message to Bada. 

‘I’m observing you, I’m studying you.’

Soon enough, their dance was over and it was your team’s time. Just like your leader said, you weren’t here to seduce someone, you were here to prove something. So, when Damien's Dinner Time by Czarface started blaring on the speaker, it changed the mood immediately. No sexy dancing this time, just a group of hungry wolves on the prowl to the beat of some honest to god Hip-Hop. 

Stomping, hard-hitting and smooth, that’s the attitude you and your team brought to the match. BEBE stood still and observed, knowing they better take notes – but Bada did something more than just watch. Quietly, she admired, with the ghostly essence of a smirk tugging at those lovely lips of hers. 

In a breeze, the judges had ruled in your favor and your team took the win. BEBE knew how to lose though, approaching with cordial thanks and compliments before they were to retire to their seats. Oh, you didn’t miss a beat, swiftly moving through to find Bada and face up to her with a satisfied smile. This time a similar smile came to Bada’s face. Her hand came out, you grabbed it and shook it, and she pulled you a little closer and whispered in your ear.

“That was fun.”

Simple, and to the point.

You would not be able to meet or talk to her properly until after the first crew got eliminated. Back to back missions meant that no one had the time to get to know one another that well beyond the fight zone, and it meant that you and Bada were far apart without wanting to be.

During the main dancer mission, you didn’t get the pleasure to compete with Bada. However, she got the pleasure to observe you tear up the dancefloor and nearly steal a choreography on the Rookie class. And you knew she was observing, because your team members made it a point to bring it up to you on down time.

“Bada’s been looking at you like a hawk.”

The girls, behind the tough exterior that you all projected, giggled like schoolgirls at this primo gossip. Hell, who doesn’t love a little affair brewing in places that shouldn’t have them? If you can even call this an affair yet. After all, you both haven’t even bandied words, and wouldn’t get the chance to do so. Could it really be an affair if you both only exchanged looks here and there? When walking down the hall to your hideouts you both walked past each other and only locked eyes for a brief moment? When her hand would search yours in that brief moment and miss it?

It was an affair building up to explode soon, at the very least.

The remaining crews all stripped down to their swimsuits and gathered by the pool, enjoying their time in the freshwater and having a great time with one another. Rivalries were left outside to favor playfulness, getting to know each other and finding that you all were more alike than you thought. You would think that Bada would approach you on this resting day, but instead she watched you from afar as you emerged from the tumultuous warzone that was once called a pool. She watched for a while, too, while you and she played with others separately.

It was interesting, to say the least. Like you two were waiting to see which one would break first and approach the other. You didn’t mind this little game of cat and mouse, it made it all the more exciting. But you wouldn’t miss up an opportunity to tease.

More than once you sauntered close to Bada just to watch what she would do, watching how she seemingly stood and steadied herself for striking up a conversation only to watch you scurry away to tackle your real target into the water. Once you even got closer to her without realizing, and she seemed to notice and think for a second whether to talk to you or not, only for you to descend back into water and disappear from her line of sight. Then she caught on to the game, seemingly approaching you, then turning to a different direction, watching how you observed in anticipation.

Cat and mouse, cat and mouse.

Soon enough the aroma of cooked meat and fresh beer wafted to everyone’s nose, making most of the bodies in the pool return to land to share a cold one with their buddies. Bit by bit only few of you who were too energetic to sit down and eat remained in the water. You continued to swim by your lonesome, enjoying the feeling of being underwater and the peace of a nearly empty pool, but you wouldn’t be alone for long.

At one point you had touched the end of the pool for the third time and ascended to grab onto the edge, but instead a pair of long legs greeted you. Those pairs of legs squatted and revealed–.

“Ma’am, I’ve been asked to relay a message,” Bada spoke, semi jokingly, but telling the truth. “You shouldn’t swim so much without having eaten something.”

She looked so gorgeous up close, you could really just stare at her for hours if she’d let you. “Oh yeah? Are you a messenger or a bodyguard?”

Bada chuckled, adjusting her sunglasses before they fell off. “Both, but just this time.”

You placed both of your arms against the floor and rested your chin against your arm, looking up at this so-called bodyguard wearing such stylish shades. “You’re here to save me then?”

“Maybe,” Bada replied instantly, not looking away from you. It dawned on you then that perhaps the glasses were serving double purpose here, hiding her traveling gaze. There was a moment of silence before she realized that she actually had to tell you what the message was. “Your leader wants you to go eat with them, that’s all.”

You tilted your head and decided to be cheeky. “Aw, so you don’t care about my well being?”

“It’s not that,” Bada said while laughing, shaking her head. “I was worried about that too, they just told me to tell you on their behalf that’s all.”

You looked over at your group and watched them PRETEND to be focused on their conversation but you could tell that they were just applying the good old “Watermelon” to appear like they were actually talking fervently about something. You couldn’t help but to laugh. Still, you looked back at Bada who kept staring at you and wouldn’t stop. “So this isn’t you asking me to eat with you either?”

Bada seemed to think about it for a second, head tilted with curiosity. “Not yet,” she said simply, standing up and walking away. 

You could almost gasp at the boldness and suddenness. How cool of her to walk away like that! But you knew deep down inside it wasn’t something she wanted to do. It was… just appropriate to do at the moment, don’t you think?

When you finally arrived at your crew’s table, they were at the edge of their seats almost literally waiting to hear every little detail about the conversation, which you kept to yourself and promised to tell them later. They whined and tried to get you to spill the beans, but you opened the first bottle of beer and that was that.

You would unexpectedly encounter each other again. 

Your crew’s hideout was dark, all but one yellow light dimly lighting the room as you were sprawled on the couch resting. Your crew all had left the room for a multitude of reasons, but you remained there to catch up on some alone time for yourself. Just to think, to hear nothing, to enjoy your own company. 

Until the door unexpectedly opened without knocking and someone walked in. By the way they seemed familiar with the room, you assumed it was one of your members, but when you opened your eyes and sat up…

“Bada?” You asked instantly, without even thinking. 

Bada stood there, tossing a black bag on the nearest couch and fishing out something out of her pocket.

You weren’t getting any answers that way, so you stood up and walked up to her. “What are you–.”

Soon, music started blaring out of her phone, stopping you in your tracks. You couldn’t recognize the song at first, but you looked at the way the dim light showed her impassive face. No cap this time, her eyes clear to observe. Those eyes were hungry and determined.

Bada didn’t say a single word, putting her phone on the nearest table and wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you against her body. You could barely let a tiny gasp out, caught on your throat as you looked up into her eyes. This time, unclouded, traveling down your nose, down your lips. You noticed her lean down just a bit, lips inches away from each other when she spoke lowly, as if to avoid being heard by anyone who would dare to walk down the hall right now.

“Dance with me?” 

You instinctively let your hand land on her shoulder, up her neck and cupping her cheek. “Not in a battle, I hope,” you lowly replied.

At this, she chuckled and shook her head. "Just you and I."

With that, your hand fell to her chest, feeling the way her heart was beating like crazy -- like she had already finished dancing ten times over. It made her so infinitely endearing. The cool girl everyone was crushing on, the tough Bada, mush under your palm and unable to stop her beating heart just like any other girl in the world. Bada noticed that you could feel it under your palm and she even gulped a little bit. “Look at you,” you softly said with a smile that shouted total fondness. Bada couldn’t say anything but give a soft giggle.

So, without another word, you and Bada began to move to the rhythm. Body against body, gazes connected in a way that could not be pried away so easily. Bada made sure to keep you close to her body as much as she could, but it wasn’t necessary. You yearned to be as close to her as you could, feeling so warm and safe close to her, and you had no intentions of moving away from her even if someone bursts through the door. 

And luckily, no one did. Especially as the heat started to rise. She turned you around, keeping you as close as she could have you, hands resting on your hips as she motioned you to grind against her own movements. Her grip was firm and electrifying, feeling the jolts travel up your spine and tentacle across your arms in goosebumps. As a response, you grinded harder against her and you could feel her labored breath hitched on her throat when you did, like it was a surprise how bold you got suddenly.

“You seriously don’t hesitate,” Bada growled lowly, almost stammering.

“Why would I when I got such a good, hot partner?” 

Those words seemed to please Bada, making her smirk and growing a little rougher and firm in her movements as well. You could only gasp, feeling now how your own breath got stuck in your throat. You both were one with the music at that moment and didn’t falter for a second, but you giggled a little and fanned yourself visibly before speaking.

“You’re a beast, Bada. Didn’t know you had this hidden inside of you,” one of your hands went back to caress her neck as you said that. “How much of that are you going to show me tonight?” You leaned back against her body, looking up at her and noticing that ferocious look on her face. It was a subtle, implicit request, coated with that thrill of getting caught. You wondered if Bada would accept such a thing, if she was–. 

“Everything,” Bada breathlessly said, desperate yearning and lust permeating every letter of the word. “I need you so badly right now,” she said with finality, her lips slowly inching closer to yours and you were so ready to feel just how soft those lips were. You were so ready to feel more of the way Bada’s hands were traveling down your body so hungrily. 

Chatting.

Lots of chatting down the hall, approaching agonizingly quick.

It brought you and Bada back to reality, making you both stop dead in your tracks. When it became certain that it was your crew approaching, you and Bada pulled away against your deepest desire to continue. Hell, you could even hear Bada whine at the loss, a small growl of frustration to follow. But she quickly composed herself, grabbed her phone and bag and merely sat down across from you on the couch. You understood and sat down as well, trying to stop yourself from breathing so hard just like Bada was trying to do. 

Despite the frustration, you both looked at each other and realized how silly this situation truly was. You both laughed, unintentionally making a previous conversation seem natural by the time your crew barged in and turned on the lights. You were hoping to god that they didn’t notice Bada’s flustered look when they saw her, watching Bada coolly get up, grab her things and apologize for being in their hideout without their permission. Her excuse was that she wanted to talk to you, just to get closer to one another, which wasn’t exactly a lie but not a lot of talking happened.

But when Bada left the room and the door closed behind her, your members all turned around to watch you with big grins.

God, now you had some explaining to do, huh? And you only hoped that you didn’t have to explain with details, because then you wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about Bada.

[holylulusworld]

SHG for killers (1) - The first meeting

Summary: 6 men meet up to talk about their problems. They soon realize they need someone to help them solve their problems. This person is you. Whether you like it or not.

Pairing: Steve Kemp x fem!Reader, Lloyd Hansen x fem!Reader, Robert Pronge (Mr. Freezy) x fem!Reader, Andy Barber x fem!Reader, God, the bounty hunter x fem!Reader, Ransom Drysdale x fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of murder/killing for money, serial killers/hitmen, mentions of blood/gore, talk about crimes, self-help group for killers/hitmen, world building, we get to know the men first

Self-help group for killers masterlist

“IT STINGS!” His screams of pain and agony echo in Lloyd Hansen’s mind when he wakes from another restless slumber.

He’s a stone-cold mercenary. Merciless and fearless. Or he was. That was until a certain former CIA lapdog pissed onto everything Lloyd stands for. It doesn’t help that he lost two fingers while hunting Six down.

“Bastard,” he curses under his breath as his eyes focus on his hand mutilation. “Still miss my pussy fingers,” Lloyd grumbles angrily. “Wait until I find you, Sierra Six. You’re a dead man; you just don’t know it yet.”

He closes his eyes, replaying the scene again. Lloyd grits his teeth, remembering how he got into a grapple with Six, who blew off Lloyd's left pinkie and ring finger.

The finger prosthetics don’t make him feel better. Sierra’s win over him, the loss of his fingers and reputation, still stings. His self-confidence and ego were not only bruised but torn in two.

For months, he fails mission after mission. His team is long gone, and so is his patience. Lloyd is angry and out for blood. Preferable Sierra Six’s blood.

He tried anything to find the renegade assassin. So far, he didn’t even find a trace. Sierra Six is a master at hiding from his enemies. Lloyd gives him that.

“One day, you’ll pay for what you did.”

“No drugs. No contact with other offenders. No missing an appointment,” Ransom’s probation officer recites all the rules he must follow. “Mr. Drysdale, did you even listen?”

“All of you are telling me the same thing.” Ransom sneers. “You’re the fifth guy in not four months. I know the rules.” He leans back in the uncomfortable and cheap chair the probation officer offered him. “All of you try to get me behind bars again; I get it. You’re pissed because I got earlier than everyone expected.”

“Mr. Drysdale,” the probation officer replies, watching Ransom munch another cookie. “I really don’t have the time to make plans to get you behind bars again. That’s not in my job description. If you don’t have any problems, we can end the meeting for today.”

“Shit, just a sec.” Robert doesn’t have the time to talk to his ex today. “Listen, you got the money and the car. Let’s part on good terms.” He’s poorly hiding his anger. If she says one more word, he’ll sneak into her new apartment and kill her and the bastard who’s banging her brains out now. “I got a job to do.”

Robert hangs up the phone. He’s not done with the body yet. The client wants proof that her husband is dead. She’s a naughty one, Robert thinks to himself while getting the saw out. Well, all for customer satisfaction.

The doctor is not happy. He tried anything to make sure his business was flowing. Sadly, some people try to stop him from being successful.

“You had to cross me, didn’t you?" He looks down at his former partner and sneers. “We could’ve made so much money. But you had to find your conscience.”

Steve kicks the dead man, grunting as he’s bleeding on the brand-new carpet at his office. Killing his partner wasn’t in his plans for today. It’s not the first time he got his hand dirty.

If Steve were honest, he’d admit that he likes to get his hands dirty. As a doctor, he should save other people’s lives, not take them. Still, he can’t help but feel excited about his latest decision.

Watching the family grieve over the death of their recently killed father and husband, God furrows his brows. He never understood human emotions. The man he killed was a tyrant. He betrayed his business partners, terrorized his family, and cheated on his wife.

The man remains in his hideout to watch the family and friends mourn their loss. Lately, he likes to stick around to watch their reaction. Some scream. Others silently cry.

God likes the ones who put on a show for others the most. He did so all his life. Pretending in public that he’s a normal guy.

The truth is, he feels hollow because he never belonged...

Andy Barber steps out of the courtroom with his head held high. He won another case and can’t help but smirk as his opponent seems to be salty.

“Barber,” the prosecutor says, venom in his voice. “Congratulations on letting another monster go free.”

“If you wanted them in jail,” Andy says, and he dips his head to watch his client smirk at the victims of his cruelty, “you should’ve been a better lawyer.”

Andy walks toward his client, a spring in his step to shake the monster’s hand. He smirks and assures the man he deserves to walk out of the courtroom as a free man. Andy squeezes the man’s hand hard, making him wince. Who would’ve thought a lawyer could be so strong?

The serial rapist ends up dead after the accused was acquitted for lack of evidence. Lloyd recites the newspaper. “I see you’ve been very active lately, Barber. Do I need to remind you to keep it low?”

“No one asked you,” Andy shoots back. He doesn’t know why he’s still coming to the so-called self-help group. Andy doesn’t feel guilty for killing his clients. Who else would punish them for their crimes? “They had a choice, Hansen. It wasn’t me letting him go.”

“He’s not wrong,” Ransom says between munching a cookie and sipping on the expensive mochaccino he bought on his way to the group. “Baber got a point there.”

“Who asked you, amateur?” Robert sneers. He just can’t stand Barber or Drysdale. They are not worth his time, or so he thinks. He’s fine with Hansen and the guy calling himself God. They are like him—professionals. “I don’t even know why you, Mr. Lawyer, are here.”

“I invited them,” Hansen grunts. “If you want to leave, you can go anytime. I founded this group, not you.”

“Man, stop making a fuss!” Pronge shows his palms. “I only wanted to point out that they are not professionals. What if the cops find out about their hobby? What if they decide to get a deal and rat us out?”

Lloyd snorts. He looks at the black leather glove hiding his prosthetic fingers. “No one rats Lloyd Hansen out. We all agreed on complete secrecy. What we discuss here stays within this room.”

Andy rubs his bearded chin. Coming to the group to talk about the crimes he committed helped him improve. Lloyd and God even gave him advice on how to make his crimes look like accidents. “I’m going to therapy now,” he admits. “Not to talk about my hobby, though.”

“Therapy, huh?” Lloyd taunts, while Ransom smirks. God and Robert busy themselves with checking their phones for new clients. “I hope you’re not talking about our little group with the doctor.”

Steve sneers. “Don’t call these incompetent wannabes doctors. They are by all means nothing but pathetic losers trying to tell you how to live your life.”

“No one asked you, Dr. Frankenstein,” Ransom snaps at Steve. “Did you work on some nice asses and tits lately?”

“Shut up,” Steve jumps up, knocking his chair over. “At least I got a job, and I don’t live off my family’s money.”

“Shut up yourself!” Ransom puts his cookies aside and throws the rest of his mochaccino at Steve.

“Gentlemen!” Lloyd yells at Steve and Ransom. “We come here to talk about our problems and help each other improve. I didn’t come here, freezing my ass off on the way to watch you fight like girls over the latest fashion trend.”

“The therapy helps me more than coming here,” Andy raises his voice. “Your advice was good, but I think I’ll stick to her.”

The men stop fighting and stare at Andy.

“Her?” Lloyd licks his lips. “You’ve got a pretty little doctor for your therapist? Why didn’t you tell us before? We would’ve been all ears.”

“Why does this make a difference?” Andy cocks a brow. “She’s got a good reputation and listens to me. I talked to her for months, and she never pressured me into talking about my family.”

“Boohoo, your wife killed your murderous son and is as dead as your latest victim,” Lloyd mocks Andy. “Let’s talk about that pretty ass you’re seeing. Show us her reputation and shit.”

“Why?” Andy sighs deeply. He knew it was a mistake to talk about you and your sessions.

“For science,” Lloyd grins and snatches the phone out of Andy’s hand. Before Andy can protest, Lloyd throws the phone at God, nodding at him. “Unlock it, and look for the doc.”

Steve rolls his eyes. He didn’t come here to talk about some therapist. “Can we go back to business? Barber has a therapist. Maybe he even bangs her. Who cares?”

“Bangs her?” That picked Lloyd’s interest. “Not the worst idea. Maybe as a new version of therapy. Fuck all the bad memories out of her sweet cunt.”

“Got it,” God says and throws the phone at Lloyd. Y/N Y/L/N,” he recites your address and contact information. “She looks cute.”

“Cute?” Ransom laughs. “I didn’t know the word cute in your vocabulary. Show me.” Ransom walks toward Lloyd to look at the phone in his hands. “Not bad. Hey Barber, does she have a cute ass too?”

“Why are we talking about some woman? If our meeting is over, I’ll go back to business,” Steve says as he gets up. He wants to walk past Lloyd but glances at the phone. “Hmm…I’ve seen her before.”

Steve snatches the phone out of Lloyd’s hands. He looks at the pictures of you, licking his lips.

“Stop stalking my therapist,” Andy angrily says. “Can I get my phone back now?”

“I remember now,” Steve exclaims while staring at your pictures. “She accompanied one of her patients. They wanted surgery, but she talked them out of it. I hated her.” He shrugs.

“I bet she’s an uptight little doctor,” Lloyd muses. His smirk darkens as he looks at the men he brought together around two years ago. “Barber, did you already have a taste? I bet she tastes like strawberries.”

“Hansen, that is enough,” Andy grumbles. He snatches the phone out of Lloyd’s hands and turns to leave. “This was a waste of time!”

“Not to me.” Lloyd clenches and unclenches his fists. “I think I found something that will help us improve as a group. You all came here to talk about your problems and to get better at what you’re doing. I think this sweet doctor will be a big help.

Tags in reblog.

[gottalovetumbler]

𝓓𝓪𝔂 7

𝓓𝓪𝔂 8

ⁿⁱᵏᵒˡᵃⁱ/ᵖʳⁱᶜᵉ ˣ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

Info: Fem!Reader, cussing, probably shit but I’m trying to get everyone introduced by day 10 so then I can start all the fun chapters so please bear with me

———👗 🛍️ ———

The next few days pass by in a blur. Lots of medicine induced sleep made it feel like a second in your life rather than 72 hours stuck in the same bed. The nurses were obviously upset with your trying to leave while not being discharged but they didn’t say much. At least not to you but you did hear some murmuring behinds closed doors between Gaz and them so maybe something was said. That’s didn’t matter much now seeing as you’re finally free to hobble your way back onto base.

You insisted you get yourself back alone after being discharged, much to the disappointment of your seven new and self identified “besties” as Soap said. They didn’t like the idea of you walking around alone and obviously injured but it was only a mile and half away so they couldn’t come up with any good reasons to stop you.

The walk back to the base was a welcome distraction, save for the stares you got of course. The hospital was practically in the bases backyard, separated by a Main Street sort of situation. Little shops lined the street with displays of different items catching your eyes as you passed.

Laughing families and cuddling couples surrounded you as you walked. It was 6pm on a Saturday so it’s not a surprising crowd. You watch a little girl with pigtails sprints into the local pet store, much to her parent’s dismay and chuckle as they chase her.

You pause your walk as you look across the street, an open sigh sits in the window of your favorite vintage clothing store. They typically close at 4 so you have no idea why they’re open now, but you aren’t going to question it.

Cool air snacks your face as you push the door open and greet the store owner. It takes a couple minutes to explain the unfortunate history behind your injuries but she eventually concedes when you tell her you just got out of the hospital and are doing a-ok.

When you ask, she lets you know that’s it’s the monthly family night where all the stores stay open so that military families can go and shop around together. Almost every store and restaurant stays open till 11pm so you’re told to go crazy and try-on as many things on as you want.

Twenty items later you finally check out, purchasing the two dresses, pants, and sweater that you liked. It’s nearing 10pm as you resume your way back home. Almost all the families with kids have already left for the night but there’s still some eating at the restaurants in the open air.

You can finally see the base past all the buildings as you stand, waiting for the signal to cross the road. It finally turns green and right as you’re about to cross and car screeches to a halt 5ft in-front of you. The glare melts off your face as you make eye contact with the driver of said car. Captain Price. And he looks pissed the fuck off.

The sounds of locks clicking and his glare tells you enough, so you climb into the back seat. He waits for you to buckle before driving off towards the base. Now that you’re in the car you also notice a man in the passenger seat, another new man. This man though, isn’t wearing a mask and looks quite nice.

‘We thought’ you wer’ dead.’

‘Why would I be dead? All I was doing was shoppin-‘

‘It’s almos’ 11 at nigh’ and you wer’ discharged at 5:30. So nearly 6 hour’ without any sign of you when the walk was less than 2 miles. Tha’s why.’

‘I was just shopping, maybe if someone tried to call me then I could have to you that Mr.Price. It’s not my fault non of your-‘

‘Ꭵ’Ꮄ ᎤᏬᎥᏖ ᏇᏂᎥᏝᏋ Ꭵ ᏇᏗᏕ ᏗᏂᏋᏗᎴ ᎥᎦ Ꭵ ᏇᏋᏒᏋ ᎩᎧᏬ ᏦᏒᏗᏕᎧᏖᏦᏗ. ᏁᎧ ᎷᏗᏖᏖᏋᏒ ᏇᏂᏗᏖ ᎩᎧᏬ ᏕᏗᎩ, ᎩᎧᏬ ᏇᎧᏁ’Ꮦ ᏇᎥᏁ.’

‘Accordin’ to Soap, she has a hard time understanding accents. Maybe-‘

‘That fucking narc! Who else did he tell about it? I was doing perfectly fucking fine when it was just Gaz and Chase that knew. Now it’s everyone’s fucking business?? What an assholse! I can’t bel-‘

‘ᎧᏦ ᏦᏒᏗᏕᎧᏖᏦᏗ, ᏂᏋ ፈᏝᏋᏗᏒᏝᎩ ᎴᎥᎴᏁ’Ꮦ ᏖᏋᏝᏝ ᏋᏉᏋᏒᎩᎧᏁᏋ ᏰᏋፈᏗᏬᏕᏋ ᏖᏂᎥᏕ ᎥᏕ ᏖᏂᏋ ᎦᎥᏒᏕᏖ Ꭵ’Ꮇ ᏂᏋᏗᏒᎥᏁᎶ ᎧᎦ ᎥᏖ.’

The glare you send him is deadly but it also says “what the fuck did you just say?”

‘Ꭵ ᏕᏗᎥᎴ, ҭᾄќἔ ᾄ в︎ʀἔᾄҭђ︎, ђ︎ἔ’ṩ ῥʀὄв︎ᾄв︎ł︎ẏ ὄᾗł︎ẏ ҭὄł︎ḋ ᾄ ғἔᾧ ῥἔὄῥł︎ἔ ṩὄ ḋὄᾗ’ҭ ᾧὄʀʀẏ ҭὄὄ м︎ὗƈђ︎. Ṃᾄẏв︎ἔ ҭʀẏ ҭὄᾗἷᾗʛ ḋὄᾧᾗ ҭђ︎ἔ ƈὗṩṩἷᾗʛ ᾧђ︎ἷł︎ἔ ẏὄὗ’ʀἔ ᾄҭ ἷҭ, м︎ᾄќἔṩ ẏὄὗ ł︎ὄὄќ ł︎ἷќἔ ᾄ ḋἔł︎ἷᾗqὗἔᾗҭ ᾧἷҭђ︎ ҭђ︎ἔ в︎ʀὗἷṩἔṩ ᾄᾗḋ ᾄł︎ł︎.’

‘Oh I fucking look like a delinquent do I? Welllll pardon me-‘

The radio goes up in volume as Price rolls his eyes. This 2 minute drive is starting to feel a hell of a lot longer.

———👗 🛍️ ———

Hope yall enjoy!

[scrumptiousstuffs]

hi scrumptious! (back in the days when your name wasn’t displayed i always remembered you as scrumptious so im just calling you that way, sorry sueee lolol)

let’s go to delulu land! im building this opinion since khaotung said he loved first as kant, and how he always says that. Sometimes i think is just his way of trying to say to first to act more like kant, i don’t know how kant is but just by the trailer i can say he is very into physical touch and maybe khaotung is just craving this. First already said that khaotung never let go of his hand when they were filming, holding even when were screamed “cut”. At the same time, i think first is afraid to be much touchy with his bestie and casually fall in love (they already are) he seems like someone who will hold his feelings and never do anything about it (when it comes to liking his bestie friend who is also his coworker). And khaotung, by saying all this stuff waits to first do something so he can react and loose himself in him.

im really delulu, i feel like they are just like akkayan in some aspects but maybe thats just me. tell me your insights about all of this!!!

Hello anon!!!! I see we are becoming even more delulu 😂.

But I don’t blame you, THK era has highlight even more how our boys are so sticky with each other (for the lack of better term).

From the boys casually sitting on top of each other (as evident by the many BTS videos/photos taken by others) to their Polycat concert shenanigans plus Jojo pretty much giving up and saying “I don't know what to tease you two about anymore” during the THK wrap up party; clearly these 2 are no longer as shy in displaying their close relationship (and I'm all here for it!) - so, I'm not exactly sure what you meant by KT craving more touch (from First) because it seems they are already all over each other (highlighted even more so with the recent THK Press Tour! - so adorable!!!!).

I also mentioned in a previous ask that when these 2 are excited/can't control their emotions/feel comfortable with their surroundings, they really do treat each other bodies like an extension of their own. The casual touch and gesture with the other party just accepting it is so fascinating to me (cause I'll tell you now, I don't even like my own family members touching me most of the time). I am also taking the opportunity to shout out to Joong/Dunk being FK adopted sons (or if in Dunk/Khao case, the latter being everyone's sunshine baby to the point even the THK admin pointed this out...🤭)

We already know KT adores First as Kant (he has said countless of time he finds Kant the best character so far out of their series, which I still find funny, cause I think the interviewers/host from KT party was actually asking him what's his fav role to date and he just goes off tangent and promote his soulmate instead hehe). Is it because Kant is meant to be this flirtatious, suave tattooist who pulls all the move to make sure Bison (and by default KT as well hehe) trapped in his allure? Who knows? Maybe! But, we all know, it is Bison who really holds the power in their relationship (at least in the bedroom anyway, 😆). I get the impression though, while Kant may have fallen for Bison first - once Bison commits to a person, he will be fiercely protective (and murderous, 😅) on behalf of his loves ones (so, when Bison finds out of Kant's deception, all hell will break loose)

Either way, since both boys are method actors, I have no doubt that there are some element of their characters seeping into their real life persona a little bit (especially KT, where FK admits KT always take longer to come out of character) - so, him clingy to First and refuse to let his hands go even after they finish filming, oh yes? This tracks nicely! Also that recent comment by First saying the KT he has to deal with at 6am is very different with the KT he deals with at 7pm??? (which ahem, also tells me, these 2 are TOGETHER pretty much 24/7. I mean we all expected this but its nice to have confirmation).

Look, I truly don't know whether these 2 are in a romantic relationship (in my delulu world, these 2 are in a comfortable spot where they know themselves what they meant for each other but is just letting everyone else make assumptions 😏). Either way though, I am eagerly waiting for Khaotung (or First) to casually drop a bombshell they are now cohabiting in KT's brand new house (whenever that will be completed) - because you just wait, they will drop this random fact suddenly or might pull a EarthMix move 😉

You have no idea how much this ask meant to me. Cause not only has it not been a shitty day in general from the news we have at present (why America? 😭), but also I am still getting asks from anti-CPs or solo F/K stans who are (for god knows why) trying to convince me of their narrative (like the fact I’m no longer answering those asks mean something?)

So, your delightful ask about FK and us being delulu - I’M ALL FOR IT. Let’s all stay in delulu land forever 🤍🧡💫.

(source of pictures/gifs in the pictures)

07/11/2024

[honeyjars-sims]

3.36 Left the Building

Later that night, I remember what Lexie said about not letting any opportunities to get away from me and decide I should try to find a way to get Lacey alone.

I just can't find the right moment. It seems like one of us is always heading off into our tent for a nap or busy eating or caught up in conversation with someone else.

It doesn't help that Lexie keeps looking at me expectantly. It feels like everyone else is waiting for me to make my move and having all eyes on me just adds to the pressure.

At one point we're all gathered around the campfire when Lacey starts asking Paul about school.

"Are you planning on staying at Foxbury for med school?" she inquires.

"No, actually I was accepted into Sequoia State," he explains. "I'm going to take my last few courses at Foxbury over the summer, then I'm moving here in the fall."

"Oh, that's cool! I guess we'll be seeing you around more then."

I feel my stomach drop a bit and decide I should intervene before Lacey and Paul start making plans together. Lacey starts coughing and I seize the opportunity.

"I could use some fresh air," I break in. "Sounds like you could, too, Lacey."

"Yeah, that would be nice," she replies, and we walk away from the others.

"I hope you don't mind that I singled you out, but I thought you could use a break from the smoke," I tell her.

"Oh, no, that's fine," she responds. "Actually, I was hoping we would get the chance to be alone."

"You were?"

"Don't act so surprised," she says, a smile spreading across her face. "I thought it was obvious I was into you."

"Well, I guess I wasn't sure. Actually, I thought you might be interested in Paul."

She wrinkles her nose. "Paul? He's nice and all, but he's not really my type. He can be kind of a dork sometimes."

"He's not that bad," I say before realizing I'm defending the guy I've been insecure about. "Anyway, what is your type?"

"Well, I like a guy who can make me laugh. Someone who's comfortable being himself and goes for what he wants."

This would be the perfect moment for me to ask her out or kiss her or something, but none of that happens. Instead we're interrupted by the ungodly sound of someone retching their guts out behind us.

We turn to see Lucy hunched over and violently expelling the contents of her stomach onto the ground. Any chance of a romantic moment happening tonight is effectively ruined.

We walk back towards the others, who are gathered around Lucy in concern.

"Are you okay?" Paul asks her. He runs down a list a symptoms but Lucy denies that anything's wrong.

"I'm fine, really," she insists, like she hadn't just recreated a scene from The Exorcist in the middle of the woods.

"Oh, so you expelled the demon, then?" I ask.

"Yes, Pazuzu has left the building."

In the morning we start packing up and prepare to leave.

"So did you do it?" Lexie asks, referring to me asking Lacey on a date.

"No. I was about to, but then Lucy...you know. Kinda ruined the moment."

Lexie laughs. "Yeah, that would do it."

"But look, I need you to lay off a bit about Lacey," I say, kindly but firmly. "I know you mean well, but it's a lot of pressure."

"I'm sorry," she apologizes. "I know I'm being overzealous. I just want you to be happy."

"And I will be. I am. I had a rough few months, but I'm in a really good place right now."

"That's great! I guess I just felt guilty about everything. I hate that I hurt you."

"I know. But I don't even think about that much anymore. I mostly think about how much you cared about and supported me. Maybe your feelings for me weren't romantic, but they were still real."

"They were, and still are. You're like the brother I never had, and I miss you like crazy." She's starting to tear up, and I know now that whatever negative feelings I had about our breakup are gone. They left the building with Pazuzu.

"I miss you, too. I don't like not having you in my life." I wrap my arms around her. It feels nice having her in my arms again, but it's not a romantic feeling. It's more like the comfort of an old friend.

"I really do love you, Johnny."

"I love you, too, Lexie."

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[yabusame-reko]

Absolutely none of you are allowed to give up hope, do you hear me? No matter how bleak things look right now, there is ALWAYS the chance for a miracle. And even if the miracle we want never happens, we can build our own hope. No matter the circumstances, no matter if the odds are stacked against us.

When things are this bleak and out of our control, hope is the ONE thing we DO have without any sort of question. So who cares if people believe its stupid to be hopeful right now? There’s power in having hope over the little things in times like this, the choice to hold your head high and show everyone around you that you aren’t giving up.

Stop saying its over. Your life isn’t over. Tomorrow the sun will rise again. Tomorrow is another day. And every day carries opportunities for change. This isn’t the end of the world no matter what you read from any friends, family, or website.

Listen to me, the SECOND you let yourself give up? THAT’S the moment we’ve truly lost to our oppressors. They WANT us to be scared, they WANT us to be depressed. If they didn’t want that, they wouldn’t have voted the way that they did. YOU, yes YOU, the person reading this - are stronger than they are.

No matter how bad things get, never let yourself forget that every day brings the chance for a brighter and better tomorrow. You never know what the future holds. You can change your own path and take steps toward your future, no matter where that future may be. Good is hidden in places and times we least expect it.

The worst thing in the world would be to miss the good because we stopped believing.

Encourage yourself, and if you can’t do that - pretend. Fake it until you make it. If you can’t believe for yourself, believe for our brothers, sisters, and siblings. Believe for your friends. Believe for those who love you now and for those who will love you in the future.

The world is in desperate need of change, yes, but falling to despair won’t move us forward. This is the time to pick yourself up and look into your options, see what you CAN do for yourself and for those around you. The world needs our help in order to change, change is not possible without people around to perform and vocalize their desire for that change.

You matter. No matter what, your voice matters.

Don’t lose hope, no matter what. Believe. Believe scared if you have to, but believe. Believe even if others tell you its futile, believe even if things are bad, believe even if others try to drag you down. Even if the worst happens, the sun will rise again tomorrow, and with it will come more opportunity.

Believe. Believe scared if you have to, but BELIEVE.

I love you. We’re in this together. We won’t let this divide us. We’ll stand tall and we’ll show the world that this won’t tear us down. You can do this. I believe in you. Stay alive. You have to. You HAVE to. Don’t ever ever EVER lose your hope.

[auntie-histamine]

My therapist just sent me this article, and I think it should be required reading for everyone who's feeling scared this morning. Tumblr won't let me put the whole article under a readmore, so I've included a shorter, edited version below. I highly encourage everyone read the full article, especially as I couldn't include everything here that I wanted to.

Please be aware that I will not be interacting with comments and/or reblogs, unless it is to help with directing to resources mentioned in the article. I am grieving too, like many of us, and I don't have the spoons to facilitate anything more. Read, share, and get organized.

The below are selections the article "There is hope - 10 ways to be prepared and grounded for another Trump presidency" by Daniel Hunter from Waging Nonviolence.

1. Trust yourself I started writing this list with strategic principles (e.g. analyze your opponents weakness and learn to handle political violence), but actually the place to start is with your own self. Distrust fuels the flame of autocracy because it makes it much easier to divide. We can see that in the casual nature of Trump’s rhetoric — telling people to distrust immigrants, Democrats, socialists, people from Chicago, women marchers, Mexicans, the press and so on. This is a social disease: You know who to trust by who they tell you to distrust. Trust-building starts with your own self. It includes trusting your own eyes and gut, as well as building protection from the ways the crazy-making can become internalized.  This also means being trustworthy — not just with information, but with emotions. That way you can acknowledge what you know and admit the parts that are uncertain fears nagging at you. Then take steps to follow through on what you need. If you’re tired, take some rest. If you’re scared, make some peace with your fears. I can point you to resources that support that — like FindingSteadyGround.com — but the value here is to start with trusting your own inner voice. If you need to stop checking your phone compulsively, do it. If you don’t want to read this article now and instead take a good walk, do it.

2. Find others who you trust Hannah Arendt’s “The Origins of Totalitarianism” explored how destructive ideologies like fascism and autocracy grow. She used the word verlassenheit — often translated as loneliness — as a central ingredient. As she meant it, loneliness isn’t a feeling but a kind of social isolation of the mind. Your thinking becomes closed off to the world and a sense of being abandoned to each other. She’s identifying a societal breakdown that we’re all experiencing. Under a Trump presidency, this trend will continue to accelerate. The constant attacks on social systems — teachers, health care and infrastructure — make us turn away from leaning on each other and towards ideologically simple answers that increase isolation (e.g. “distrust government,” “MAGA is nuts,” “anyone who votes that way doesn’t care about you”). If Trump wins: Get some people to regularly touch base with. Use that trust to explore your own thinking and support each other to stay sharp and grounded. I’ve written an agenda for such gatherings right after a Trump win that you can use.

3. Grieve No matter what we try to do, there’s going to be a lot of loss. The human thing to do is grieve. If you aren’t a feelings person, let me say it this way: The inability to grieve is a strategic error. After Donald Trump won in 2016, we all saw colleagues who never grieved. They didn’t look into their feelings and the future — and as a result they remained in shock. An alternative: Start by naming and allowing feelings that come to arise. The night that Donald Trump won, I stayed up until 4 a.m. with a colleague. It was a tear-filled night of naming things that we had just lost. It wasn’t anywhere near strategizing or list-making or planning. It was part of our acceptance that losing a presidency to an awful man means you and your people lose a lot. Ultimately, this helped us believe it — so we didn’t spend years in a daze: “I can’t believe this is happening in this country.” Believe it. Believe it now. Grief is a pathway to that acceptance. 

4. Release that which you cannot change Under a Trump presidency, there are going to be so many issues that it will be hard to accept that we cannot do it all. I’m reminded of a colleague in Turkey who told me, “There’s always something bad happening every day. If we had to react to every bad thing, we’d never have time to eat.”  Chaos is a friend of the autocrat. One way we can unwittingly assist is by joining in the story that we have to do it all.  Unaddressed, this desire to act on everything leads to bad strategy. Nine months ago when we gathered activists to scenario plan together, we took note of two knee-jerk tendencies from the left that ended up largely being dead-ends in the face of Trump: - Public angsting — posting outrage on social media, talking with friends, sharing awful news - Symbolic actions — organizing marches and public statements The first is where we look around at bad things happening and make sure other people know about them, too. We satisfy the social pressure of our friends who want us to show outrage — but the driving moves are only reactive. The end result wasn’t the intended action or an informed population. It’s demoralizing us. It’s hurting our capacity for action. Public angsting as a strategy is akin to pleading with the hole in the boat to stop us from sinking. Symbolic actions may fare little better under a Trump presidency. In whatever version of democracy we had, the logic of rallies and statements of outrage was to build a unified front that showed the opposition many voices were opposed to them. But under an unleashed fascist — if it’s all you do — it’s like begging the suicidal captain to plug the hole.  Let me be clear. These strategies will be part of the mix. We’ll need public angsting and symbolic actions. But if you see an organization or group who only relies on these tactics, look elsewhere. There are other, more effective ways to engage.

5. Find your path I’ve been writing scenarios of how a Trump presidency might play out. The initial weeks look chaotic no matter what. But over time some differentiated resistance pathways begin to emerge. One pathway is called “Protecting People.” This might mean organizing outside current systems for health care and mutual aid, or moving resources to communities that are getting targeted. Further examples include starting immigrant welcoming committees, abortion-support funds or training volunteers on safety skills to respond to white nationalist violence. Another pathway is “Defending Civic Institutions.” This group may or may not be conscious that current institutions don’t serve us all, but they are united in understanding that Trump wants them to crumble so he can exert greater control over our lives. Each bureaucracy will put up its own fight to defend itself.  Insider groups will play a central battle against Trump fascism. You may recall government scientists dumping copious climate data onto external servers, bracing for Trump’s orders. This time, many more insiders understand it’s code red. Hopefully, many will bravely refuse to quit — and instead choose to stay inside as long as possible.  Institutional pillars understand a Trump presidency is a dire threat. Then there’s a critical third pathway: “Disrupt and Disobey.” This goes beyond protesting for better policies and into the territory of people intervening to stop bad policies or showing resistance. Lastly, there’s a key fourth role: “Building Alternatives.” We can’t just be stuck reacting and stopping the bad. We have to have a vision. This is the slow growth work of building alternative ways that are more democratic. Each of us may be attracted to some pathway more than others. Your path may not be clear right now. That’s okay. There will be plenty of opportunities to join the resistance.

6. Do not obey in advance, do not self-censor If autocrats teach us any valuable lesson it’s this: Political space that you don’t use, you lose. I’m not coaching to never self-protect. You can decide when to speak your mind. But it is a phenomenally slippery slope here we have to observe and combat.  Put simply: Use the political space and voice you have. 

7. Reorient your political map A Trump presidency reshapes alignments and possibilities. The bellicose, blasphemous language of Trump will meet the practical reality of governing. When you’re out of power, it’s easy to unify — but their coalition’s cracks will quickly emerge. We have to stay sharp for opportunities to cleave off support. Even if you don’t want to engage with them (which is fine), we’ll all have to give space to those who do experiment with new language to appeal to others who don’t share our worldview of a multiracial true democracy.

8. Get real about power In Trump’s first term, the left’s organizing had mixed results. It was elections that ultimately stopped Trump. This time will be much harder. The psychological exhaustion and despair is much higher. Deploying people into the streets for mass actions with no clear outcome will grow that frustration, leading to dropout and radicalized action divorced from strategy.  Trump has been very clear about using his political power to its fullest — stretching and breaking the norms and laws that get in his way. The movement will constantly be asking itself: “Are you able to stop this new bad thing?”  We're not going to convince him not to do these things. No pressure on Republicans will result in more than the tiniest of crumbs (at least initially). It will be helpful to have a power analysis in our minds, specifically that’s known as the upside-down triangle. This tool was built to explain how power moves even under dictatorships. In our country, pressuring elite power is reaching its end point. Power will need to emerge from folks no longer obeying the current unjust system. This tipping point of mass noncooperation will be messy. It means convincing a lot of people to take huge personal risks for a better option.  As a “Disrupt and Disobey” person, we have to move deliberately to gain the trust of others, like the “Protecting People” folks. Mass noncooperation does the opposite of their goal of protection — it exposes people to more risk, more repression. But with that comes the possibility that we could get the kind of liberatory government that we all truly deserve.

9. Handle fear, make violence rebound Otpor in Serbia has provided an abundance of examples on how to face repression. They were young people who took a sarcastic response to regular police beatings. They would joke amongst each other, “It doesn’t hurt if you’re afraid.” Their attitude wasn’t cavalier — it was tactical. They were not going to grow fear. So when hundreds were beaten on a single day, their response was: This repression will only stiffen the resistance. Handling fear isn’t about suppressing it — but it is about constantly redirecting. Activist/intellectual Hardy Herriman released a studied response about political violence that had some news that surprised me. The first was that physical political violence hasn’t grown dramatically in this country — it still remains relatively rare. The threats of violence, however, trend upwards, such as this CNN report: “Politically motivated threats to public officials increased 178 percent during Trump’s presidency,” primarily from the right. His conclusion wasn’t that political violence isn’t going to grow. Quite the opposite. But he noted that a key component to political violence is to intimidate and tell a story that they are the true victims. Making political violence rebound requires refusing to be intimidated and resisting those threats so they can backfire. (Training on this backfire technique is available from the HOPE-PV guide.) We can shrink into a cacophony of “that’s not fair,” which fuels the fear of repression. Or we take a page from the great strategist Bayard Rustin. Black civil rights leaders were targeted by the government of Montgomery, Alabama during the bus boycott in the 1950s. Leaders like the newly appointed Martin Luther King Jr. went into hiding after police threats of arrest based on antiquated anti-boycott laws. Movement organizer Rustin organized them to go down to the station and demand to be arrested since they were leaders — making a positive spectacle of the repression. Some leaders not on police lists publicly demanded they, too, get arrested. Folks charged were met with cheers from crowds, holding their arrest papers high in the air. Fear was turned into valor.

10. Envision a positive future We’ve all now imagined storylines about how bad it might get. We would do ourselves a service to spend an equal measure of time envisioning how we might advance our cause in these conditions. As writer Walidah Imarisha says, “The goal of visionary fiction is to change the world.” In my mind if Trump wins, we’ll have to eventually get him out. There are two paths available to force him out. The first: Vote him out. Given the bias of the electoral college, this requires successfully defending nearly all local, state and national takeovers of elections such that they remain relatively fair and free. Winning via the path of electoral majority has a wide swath of experience and support from mainstream progressive organizations and Democratic institutions. It’s going to be a major thrust. In my scenario writing I’ve explored what that strategy could look like, including preparing electoral workers to stand against last minute attempts by Trump to change election rules and even stymie the election with dubious emergency orders. They don’t obey — and go ahead with elections anyway. The second strategy is if he illegally refuses to leave or allow fair elections: Kick him out. That means we are able to develop a national nonviolent resistance campaign capable of forcing him out of office. I’ve written several versions of this: One where large-scale strikes disable portions of the U.S. economy. If you recall from COVID, our systems are extremely vulnerable. Businesses running “just in time” inventory means small hiccups in the system can cause cascading effects.  Sustained strikes would face deep resistance, but they could swing communities currently on the fence, like the business community, which already is concerned about Trump’s temperamental nature. Trump’s own policies might make these conditions much easier. If he really does mass deportations, the economic injury might be fatal. In another scenario I explore another strategy of taking advantage of a Trump overreach. Autocrats overplay their hands. And in this imagined scenario, Trump overreaches when he attempts to force autoworkers to stop building electric vehicles. UAW workers refuse and keep the factories running. Eventually he’s unable to stop them — but in the process he’s publicly humiliated. A very public loss like this can cause what Timur Kuran calls an “unanticipated revolution.” He noted many incidents where political leaders seem to have full support, then suddenly it evaporates. Kuran’s analysis reminds us to look at Trump’s political weakness. Political hacks like Lindsay Graham appear to be sycophants — but if given the chance to turn their knife in his back, they might. This means exposed political weaknesses could quickly turn the many inside Trump’s campaign against him. That feels far away from now. But all these remain possibilities. Practicing this future thinking and seeing into these directions gives me some hope and some strategic sensibilities.  On the days when I can’t sense any of these political possibilities (more than not), I zoom out further to the lifespans of trees and rocks, heading into spiritual reminders that nothing lasts forever. All of the future is uncertain. But using these things, we’re more likely to have a more hopeful future and experience during these turbulent times.

[rat-detector-24]

Rat lore detected. I could be wrong, so please don't take this as the official lore or me dismissing your version of the lore. There is talks of Mu in the ancient scrolls. That much is 100% true. The rest of what I'm going to tell you is speculation on my behalf, based off what I've seen in the scrolls as a rat detector. Some of the scrolls vary in their accounts of our history, so I will just tell you what parts I personally believe.

I've heard Mu was a beautiful place built for the first rat king, Remy the 1st. The culture did flourish, he was a loving king who cared for his people. He created the many temples of Rat. However there are many rat detectors (what you call priests) and I can't imagine any of my dedicated brethrats sinning against one of the big cheeses. I sure wouldn't and we also believe in a few different gods and goddesses. Some don't believe in any god and still do the work of the rat.

Now I will admit there was a huge flood, but that was honestly just a leaky sink that got out of hand. Mu was built for rats, so the leak caused a lot of damage. The citizens of Mu did climb to the top of the counters and hid in a box, but I wouldn't call that a sky temple. Things kind of get embellished after countless retellings. Mu was unfortunately considered a total loss. They later went on to build Nu Mu which was ruled by Remy the 1st for about another year. Remy died valiantly defending the city from a calico cat. There is no mention if the cat survived or not.

Remy ll took his father's place as a ruler. He was not as kind unfortunately and many innocent rats suffered under his grueling reign. The oppressed rats rebelled and executed Remy ll. The brutal fighting left the city not only virtually destroyed, but also emotionally, there were too many bad memories for them to stay. So they started building the city of Rattopia. Remy lll was exiled from Rattopia as a child, for fears he would end up like his father (this plays a very important part in our history at later point).

The citizens picked Queen Rattana to lead them. She built a beautiful city of solid gold, 4 to 5 times the size of Mu. Everyone was happy and there was so much hope in the air. During the Cheese Moon Festival, one of the tower guards came running in with a look of panic on his face. He shouted in horror to the queen "MY QUEEN THERE IS A SNAKE APPROACHING THE CITY".

Queen Rattana never really faced any direct challenges like this and was relatively still young. She was overly confident in her golden walls. The walls were sadly breached by the snake almost instantaneously. The queen froze in shock. The guards fought the snake off the best they could, but most of them didn't make it. The queen snapped out of her trance and attacked the snake herself and mortally wounded it. However she was bitten by the snake and could feel the venom coursing throughout her veins. Laying in a pool of her own blood, she reached out to her only child, Prince Rattus, who saw the whole ordeal. She asked him to lead their people. He nodded and said he loved her. He begged her to stay but she explained she couldn't. He was still too young to understand.

So King Rattus began to rebuild. At first he was a loving king. He tried really hard to respect his people. Something in him craved more though. He lead Rattopia into many wars with other kingdoms. The people of Rattopia couldn't handle many more wars. He was demanding too many crops from the farmers, too many weapons from the smiths, they had no money left after the taxes raised. That all changed when a mysterious figure approached the still golden gates. Rattopia would never be the same.

considering one of your tags is ‘rat detectors mad scribblings on an abandoned wall’ I feel like you have lore. and if you don’t I will make it up

I am what you make of me. My only confirmed lore was…the sandwich incident…everything else is smoke and mirrors. Let not everything that lies linger. Be swift little mutual, before it’s too late.

[panicbones]

hello, is that you? come right in and have a seat :]

bonus

[ratatatastic]

He looks so different with glasses 😂 did not recognize him at first

terribly funny how much more generic he can get with a thick frame of raybans like ive always believed the whole glasses as a disguise would never work irl but i got punked so hard that when i first saw him in glasses i was like "oh another man" glossed over him then felt the same sensation as when i forget to buy milk at the store, swiped back, scrutinised this for far longer than im comfortable admitting publicly and went "oh my god THATS MY MAN GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING"