#EVERYONE DROP TO YOUR KNEES NOW AND KISS KIS HAND

[killuaisaprincess]

🧚‍♀️🌷🌿🌱

[chaosgremlinmunson]

Forever with you

For @steddie-week July7: Free space

I chose to write Steddie getting engaged, featuring Stobin and the meddling platonic soulmate.

If anyone had told Steve when he was younger that he would meet a group of people who loved him so fiercely the world itself shook from their ire should he be harmed, he'd have laughed at them. Steve Harrington had been a douche-bag jock, a prima-donna self centered jerk, an air headed pretty boy. He was good for a hook-up, a kiss, maybe even a few dates, but young Steve was not someone you thought of when you thought about sensitive, caring, kind people who would drop the world just to make sure you were okay and had anything you needed. Yet here he was at 20 years old, the apocalypse finally over and he was surrounded by so much love and devotion from the ragtag group who'd long ago become his found family.

Steve smiled to himself sipping from his champagne flute as the platonic love of his life held firmly to the girl she chose to marry, their first dance as a wedded couple and you could see for them the rest of the world had melted away. Steve looked across the room where Eddie sat with Dustin, they laughed together over something Eddie had said.

Steve found himself smiling dopily as he watched them interact, his brother and the love of his life getting on like a house on fire as they always did. Steve remembered the sleepless nights beside Eddie's hospital bed as he prayed to God he wasn't sure existed for him to please make it, please wake up. He remembered the first time Eddie’s fingers curled around his hand while he was still lost in his own mind, deep in that coma he was fighting to escape. He remembered the tears falling when those huge brown eyes opened, and he'd rasped a “hey, big boy” at Steve who couldn't stop the joyous laugh at finally seeing Eddie awake.

He remembered the first months of grueling therapy, Eddie relearning to walk again, his body betraying him but he kept on. How Eddie insisted he was going to walk to Steve one day without the need to hold onto rails. Eddie did it, yes he needed a can now, but he was walking. He remembered the first night he made them dinner together as more than friends, how he melted into the hesitant and shy kiss Eddie gave him as he knelt down to adjust Eddie's pillows.

Steve remembered every moment they had together, and now here he was, twenty years old and ready to spend the rest of his life making this man smile. Robin came up beside Steve to sit at the sweetheart table after dance, her eyes following his line of sight.

“Just think, Dingus, this time next year we could be celebrating your wedding.” She murmured.

“I have to ask him first, Bobbin. And I can't do that tonight, I refuse to take away from your special day.” He grinned back.

“Oh pshh, listen, I have an idea.” She leaned in whispering in his ear and his grin grew wider still before she showed him across the room. Standing she clinked her champagne flute with a fork calling attention from the crowd, “Hi everyone, i just wanted to thank you all for coming tonight to celebrate with us. Ronnie and I are so glad to have each and everyone of you by our side on our special day. The only thing that could make today any better and brighter was if my best friend, my brother from a different mother, and absolute favorite human on this earth was getting married today too. But, since he insisted he didn't want to take away from my day, I had to give him a kick in his ass, Eddie dearest, my Dingus has a super special question to ask you.”

Eddie gaped at Robin and then looked up at Steve who dropped to one knee before Eddie.

“You're better with words than I can ever be, but I love you so much, and nothing in this world would make me happier than if you would do me the honor of being my husband.” Steve said smiling up at Eddie, his own eyes shining with love and devotion.

“As if I'd say anything except for yes to any future with you Stevie.” Eddie pulled Steve in by the hand kissing him, “yes! I'll marry you!” Steve slipped a solid black and silver band on Eddie's finger. The engraving on the ring was the same as that from Lord of the Rings, and Eddie giggled looking back up to Steve's face.

“A toast!” Called Robin, “to the happiness and fortuitous future of my platonic soulmate and the man he loves!”

“Hear! Hear!” Yelled the rest of the room as Steve and Eddie held each other in a warm embrace.

[nyehilismwriting]

no content warnings for this one :-) nsfw continuation going on patreon........at some point

“Shouldn’t you be resting?”

You drop your jacket on the chair, raise an eyebrow at Ki-Ha. He’s at the workbench, a screwdriver in one hand, hunched awkwardly to one side. He doesn’t hear you come in - or he’s ignoring you - so you kick the door shut more forcefully than necessary. Ki-Ha startles at the vibration, looks over his shoulder at you. Only relaxes marginally when he sees it’s you, his scowl barely shifting.

“What?”

“I said-” You step towards him, raising a mocking eyebrow, “-shouldn’t you be resting?”

His scowl deepens.

“I am resting.”

“This doesn’t look restful.”

You’re close enough now to see the communicator in his hand, stripped bare to reveal its metallic guts, the transmitter at the centre dead and dark. It’s not the first massacre of this kind you’ve seen; the paranoia’s getting to everyone, trapped as you are. Ki-Ha seems to be managing worse than the others, though. You reach out, his eyes - still scowling, though some of the tension eases from his shoulders - tracking your movements as you gently lift the screwdriver from his hand, place it to one side on the workbench.

“I’m sitting down,” he insists, jaw set stubbornly. You snort.

“Uh-huh.”

“I need to check-”

“Not right now, you don’t.”

The scowl’s back. You prop your hip against the bench, feeling slightly odd. You’re not used to being the sensible one in this - really, in any - relationship. Rather than dwell on that, you tilt your head, reach out to slide one hand under his jaw. His skin’s rough, stubble allowed to grow thicker than usual. Ki-Ha allows it, though the mutinous expression stays firmly in place.

“I need to do something.”

Your smile grows slightly, hand pausing. Ki-Ha rolls his eyes as you open your mouth.

“Don’t.”

“I’ve got a few ideas.”

His hand curls around your wrist, warm and gentle even as he glowers at you. Grinning, you move, giving into the urge - the constant desire for closeness, and ease yourself into his lap, careful to keep your weight on your knees, propped on the edges of the chair.

Ki-Ha rolls his eyes, shifting his hips lower, and wraps his hand around your waist, tugging you more fully into his lap. You settle your weight fully onto his thighs, still taking care to avoid his injured side. Rest your palms on his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heart under your hands.

“How are you feeling?”

He shrugs, eyes skittering to the side. “Fine.”

“Try again?”

“Fine.”

“Mm.” You lean in, rub your cheek against the sharp stubble of his jaw, and press your mouth to his neck. “Again?”

“Fine.” He twists his hand gently in your hair, tugs your head back. His pupils are dilated, eyes dark and fixed on your lips. “This your way of getting me to rest?”

You grin down at him. “Is it working?”

His breath brushes your lips.

“No.”

“Good.”

You close the gap, curl your hands around his jaw to tilt his head back in a kiss that’s tooth-achingly sweet, just a faint brush of your mouth against his, the slightest hint of his tongue against your lips. His hands are gentle, smoothing down your spine, over your hips, your thighs, thumbs digging into the muscle there as he tips his head back and you take the unspoken invitation with glee, leaning forward to kiss him more firmly. Drag your tongue over his lower lip, angling your head to kiss him deeper, harder, until your lips ache, your hands trapped between your chests as you lean against him-

-and he grunts, a low sound of pain. You pull back with a start, lips swollen and damp, hands darting down to the bandages you can feel under his shirt, tugging the fabric aside.

“Shit- are you-”

“I’m fine,” he rumbles, catching your hands in his. “It’s fine.”

You wriggle back a little, shift your weight back onto your knees. “I’m sorry.”

Ki-Ha gently raises your hands to his lips, brushes them over the scarred mess of your knuckles. The touch makes you shiver.

“Don’t be.”

[hangovercurse]

I’d Drop it All for You

Pictures of you and Pete are spread all over the internet, causing a whirlwind of hate to enter your social media.

Request: “Pete content please! anything !!! smut fluff whatever”

Pete x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, depictions of depression and anxiety

A/N: *Insert normal spiel about respecting A.G. and only using her for plot purposes. No harm intended.* Also I wrote most of this after a meeting with my therapist so... enjoy :) (He’s so cute in this gif I wanna kiss his face)

Word Count: 1820

You weren’t one of those people who loved being the center of attention. You knew that being in the spotlight also meant constantly living under a microscope, and you decided a long time ago that that was not for you.

But you were lucky enough to work as an assistant art director at just 24. You were hoping that The King of Staten Island, your newest project, would help get your name out into the professional world. But that wasn’t the only thing to come out of the film.

It happened unexpectedly, you showed up on set the first day, ready to do whatever the art director required of you. You couldn’t help but be slightly distracted by the lead actor and writer, Pete Davidson. He was so kind and funny, and he wasn’t uptight like everyone else.

After a few hours of filming, he came up to you, introducing himself. He said he “wanted to get to know everyone working on the project,” but you didn’t see him introducing himself to anyone else. You two started talking during breaks. Then he started sitting with you at lunch. Then he was asking for your number.

In a matter of weeks he was asking you out to dinner, taking you to a cozy restaurant that you absolutely adored. He walked you home, his hand grazing yours until you intertwined your fingers.

It was all very romantic, so when Pete asked if he could take you on another, you obviously said yes. Flash forward two weeks and he finally got the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, even though you were both exclusively seeing each other already.

After filming ended 2 months later, you were still working on the film in post, which meant you had an excuse to stay  in Staten Island with Pete. After about 2 weeks in post, you spent more nights in his bed than your hotel’s.

Nearly 6 months later and you were happier than ever. You were splitting your time between your small apartment in the Bronx and Pete’s basement apartment. Pete introduced you to most of his friends, and you introduced him to yours.

But other than your small circles of friends, you kept your relationship fairly quiet. Pete doesn’t have social media and yours is strictly professional, so there are no pictures of you two together. You weren’t hiding each other, you loved each other, you just had no reason to tell tabloids. And you were perfectly happy with that.

Which made it so much worse when various news sites had pictures of you two holding hands. Had they been anyone else you would’ve thought they were cute, walking along the South Beach oceanside at night.

Pete had been in the SNL studio all day when the pictures were released, while you were in his apartment, trying your best to focus on the photoset in front of you. The production team wanted the film to scream “teen romance,” which basically entails subtle pink undertones and a higher saturation. But you couldn’t quite get the coloring right, probably because you weren’t actually focusing on the colors.

You sighed, looking at the time and realizing that Pete won’t be back until sometime after 2am, which was a whole 5 hours away. You let out a huff, pushing away from the desk and making your way to Pete’s closet and searching for one of his hoodies. They always smelled like him (and weed), so it was a comfort to you.

You crashed onto the bed, finding the phone that you had tossed there a few hours earlier. Turning it on you were surprised by the number of notifications you were getting. You knew the photos had surfaced but you weren’t expecting this.

Your Instagram was blowing up with new follows, likes, and comments. It was kind of exciting at first until you started reading some of the comments.

I mean, we knew he would downgrade from Ari, but this is like… really far down.

This girl really thinks she’s special just bc Pete’s dating her. Hun he could do so much better

Who is she?!? Literally no one.

Someone needs to show her how to dress

That hairstyle is not it honey

Pete Davidson is dating YOU??? He could do sooo much better

Ari was prettier sorry not sorry

The entire comment section on your last post, a picture of you on the set of your latest film, was pretty much the same. There were some nice comments, but a lot of mean ones.

And you couldn’t help it, you couldn’t stop looking at them. It felt so cliché, but it was like all of your deepest insecurities about being with Pete were thrown out on the table.

You knew that Pete had a fairly large following, and that a lot of people had really strong feelings about him. You had expected that if and when your relationship went public you would have a lot of people watching you, scrutinizing you. But you didn’t care because Pete was worth it.

Now you weren’t so sure. It wasn’t that you couldn’t handle people talking bad about you, because you definitely could, even if it hurt. You just weren’t expecting the amount of people comparing you to Ariana or saying that Pete could do so much better.

And it only bothered you so much because you felt it too. Your inner demons loved to remind you that Pete had dated Ariana fucking Grande and now he’s dating you. Anyone could see an obvious downgrade.

You turned your phone off and threw it on the opposite side of the bed, trying to think positive thoughts. “I am in control of my own thoughts and emotions. I am catching my negative thoughts and fixing them.” You murmured your therapist’s mantra to yourself, but it was too late. The thoughts had already taken hold of your mind.

Your eyes started to water as you could feel the heavy feeling in your chest set in. You pulled the hood over your head, pulling the straps to hide as much of your face as possible, and pulling your knees to your chest. You laid like that for a while, tears falling as doubts ran through your head. Once you had effectively exhausted your thoughts, you went numb. Your tears had stopped, but you couldn’t move. This wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, but it sure wasn’t pleasurable.

There was a sort of buzzing throughout your body, almost like the feeling when your foot falls asleep, but everywhere. It seemed to block out your sound, as you didn’t hear the basement door open. You only knew that Pete was home when he sat beside you on the bed, pulling the hood off your face.

“There’s my beautiful girl.” He smiled at you. You tried your best to fake one back, but you honestly couldn’t find the energy. Pete pulled you so you were sitting up, back pressed against his front. His arms wrapped around your middle as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “What’s goin on?” He murmured against your skin.

“Did you see them?” You asked, your voice quiet and hoarse.

Pete let out a sigh, “Yeah, I saw them.” He paused, his hold on you getting tighter, like he was making sure you couldn’t leave. “I’m sorry baby. I know you didn’t want it to be a whole big thing.”

You turned your head to face him, “It’s not that. I really don’t mind that people know. We weren’t trying to hide anything.”

He smiled, “Yeah, I know I just- it was nice having this to ourselves.”

He wanted to hide you. He’s embarrassed of you.

Your inner dialogue never seemed to shut up.

You turned away from Pete, trying to hide the tears forming in your eyes. “Yeah.” You whispered.

“What’s wrong, you’re still upset.” He rocked you in his arms, kissing the top of your head. You shrugged in response, not trusting yourself to talk. “You can talk to me, y’know.”

You nodded, leaning further into Pete’s chest. “People found my Instagram.” You murmured, looking down and tracing the arrow tattoo on his hand.

“Whaddya mean? I thought it was public?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

You sighed, wishing you hadn’t said anything. “Yeah, it is. But after all the articles people started following me and shit.”

“I would ask how that’s a problem but I deleted my Instagram so I can’t really talk.” You could tell he was trying to make you feel better, but you couldn’t seem to get out of your haze.

You shook your head, deciding to drop the matter. “It’s not, I’m just being overdramatic.” You sighed, putting on a fake smile and facing him fully. “Wanna watch a movie?” You asked, trying to change the topic.

He gave you the I-know-you’re-bullshitting-me look, which made you look down. “Something’s bothering you, Y/N. And you’re trying to pretend it doesn’t because you think your feelings aren’t valid, but they are.” He tilted his head, trying to meet your eyes that were still trained on the bedsheets below you.

“Where’d you learn that one?” You chuckled half-heartedly.

“Rehab part 2” he smiled, hand coming to your jaw to tilt your head up. “C’mon, talk to me. I wanna help.”

You huffed, moving towards the opposite side of the bed where your phone laid. You opened it, finding your Instagram, and showing him the comments. His eyebrows furrowed as he scrolled through the comments. When he decided he’d had enough he put your phone down, grabbing your waist and lifting you onto his lap so you were essentially straddling him.

He leaned his forehead against your own, your noses touching. “That’s all bullshit, you know that, right?”

You looked down, biting your lip. “Y/N you’re the most amazing, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, okay? I’m in love with you, not anyone else.” Pete’s eyes were searching yours, trying to figure out what was going on in your head.

“I know.” You sighed, “It’s just hard to be with you and not compare myself to her. And then all these people started to do it too, and they kept saying that you could do so much better and you can. So, I dunno I guess I just kind of spiraled.”

Pete captured your lips in a long, passionate kiss. “Y/N. There is literally no better than you. I can’t do better because you are the best woman I have ever loved. “

You pulled Pete in for another kiss. “Thank you, Pete. I love you.”

“I love you too. If this happens again, I want you to call me. I don’t care what I’m doing, I’d drop it all for you.” You smiled, sitting in the arms of the guy you loved. The thoughts didn’t just magically go away, but for a brief moment in time, you were happy.

[mermaidxatxheart]

Better Together Chapter Eight

Here's Chapter 8, y'all. My work is not to be posted on any other site. If you'd like to be added to my tag list, send me an ask.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: language, violence, descriptions of torture.

Series Master List

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

You climb down from the tower, trying to dry your eyes. You dust your hands off and head for the lab. You don’t want to study these stupid flowers, you just want to forget that whole stupid fucking planet. Your eyes won’t stop watering, your throat thick and painful as you try not to burst into tears again.

You round a corner, glancing behind you as you wipe your eyes again. The skin around them is starting to feel raw as you rub them endlessly. There’s something in the middle of the walkway that shouldn’t be there. You turn back to look at what you’ve walked into, stumbling back as fingers wrap around your shoulders.

“Y/N,” Poe breathes, eyes fluttering closed.

Oh, Maker. Your lower lip trembles as you look at his beautiful face, the rejection from earlier swirling up and stifling you. Your eyebrows pinch against your will, eyes starting to squint as the tears threaten to overtake you. Fighting for control, you struggle to smooth out your forehead, but no matter how hard you try, it won’t relax. You inhale sharply through your nose and his eyes fly open.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He mumbles, pulling you in for a hug. It hurts, feeling him care about you this way. You don’t hug him back, keeping your arms rigid by your sides. If you let yourself give in, it will only make things harder. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.” He whispers, burying his face in your neck. “I didn’t mean… this morning…” he takes a shuddering breath. “Please? Just… pl-please.” He hugs you tighter, his voice breaking.

“Poe,”

“Don’t you think I want… if I let myself ki-“ he cuts off audibly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He whispers.

“What do you want from me?” You ask, but it comes out colder than you mean it to.

“Forgive me? You have to know I would do anything for you. Anything you ask of me.”

“You didn’t do anything that needs to be forgiven.” You say softly, your arms curling around his back, your willpower crumbling.

“In my room-“ he starts.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have put you in that position.” You sigh, turning your face into his neck. “Moment of weakness. Will you forgive me?” You ask.

His soft lips press into your neck and you shiver at the unexpected touch. “Nothing to forgive.” He murmurs, lifting his head up to trail up your neck. Your heart thrums erratically in your chest as his lips brush your jawline. “Please tell me you haven’t been crying all day because I’m an asshole.”

“No.” You say, barely more than a whisper. It’s all you can manage as his lips trail up your cheek. “I finished my report for Leia.” You say and he tenses. “Poe? I know… I know I don’t deserve it, but can we talk about the river?” You ask quietly.

“I liked the river.” He mumbles against your cheek. You desperately want to turn your head, to catch his lips with yours. Maker, you feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster, high then low, upside down, then backwards.

“I meant what happened in the river.” You correct.

“Liked that, too.” That earns a weak chuckle.

“You shouldn’t have.” You mumble.

“Y/N,” he groans, guiding you against the wall. He brushes his thumb along your jaw. “What’s bothering you? Tell me. You have so much that you’re not saying and it just breaks my heart.”

Your holopad beeps and you close your eyes. “I have to get to the lab.” You twist your face away.

“I have literally nothing else to do. We can talk on the way.” He says, taking your hand.

“You don’t have to.” You look at him suspiciously. “Why send poor Snap to my room earlier?” You ask and he tips his head back, laughing.

“For funsies.”

“Pando? What the hell was that about?” You ask, his fingers intertwined with yours.

“Lando Calrissian. You mentioned he was an inspiration of yours to become a pilot. I figured you would get the reference. Poe, Lando, we’re both pilots.” He shrugs and you roll your eyes.

“I mentioned Calrissian once, five years ago. I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“I remember everything.” He promises. “How was your caf?” He hints.

“Better than the one Bryce brought me. Thank you. And for the food.” You add and he beams, lifting your hands to trace your cheek with the backs of his fingers.

“Of course.” He looks at you before facing straight and keeping his lips pressed together.

“You might as well say it. You have a terrible sabaacc face.” You sigh, pulling him into the lab.

“I don’t like him. He’s been dating you for three years and still doesn’t know how you like your caf. It’s not hard. He’s a jerk. And I hate that he kept me from the med bay so I couldn’t see you. I hate that he acts like he owns you.” He picks up your protective lab coat and helps you slide your arms in. You wince in pain but quickly compose your face so he won’t see.

“Anything else?” You look up at him.

“Only a million other things.” He sighs, leaning against your lab bench.

“Tell me.” You say, catching his hand.

He lifts your hand to his mouth, lips parting slightly as he flutters his eyes shut. He inhales deeply, lips moving silently against the back of it.

“Didn’t catch that.”

“This is so fucked up to say, but I’m so proud of you.” He says. “When we were taken, you were incredible. I never should have put you in that position, but you didn’t say anything, not to save me, not to save yourself and, Maker, I’m so fucking proud of you. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to hold out when he started hurting you, but the fact that you weren’t breaking gave me strength.” He bows his head, clinging to your hand. “And I hate the fact that you think we went through all that because of you. None of it, none, was your fault.” He sighs, lifting his eyes to your face. “In fact, if it wasn’t morally the exact wrong thing to do, I would kiss you again in a heartbeat. Over and over. But you’re a good person and that wouldn’t be fair to you.” He murmurs softly.

“Poe,” you plead. It’s all you want, to kiss him.

“I know. I shouldn’t want that. You’re not mine to want that with, but I just… it’s in my head now. How good you taste, how soft your lips are.” He squeezes his eyes shut, cutting off his words and you squeak. You try to get your hands free, you want them in his hair, holding him to you.

“Poe, please!” You struggle and he drops your hands, hurt written all over his face.

“Okay.” He turns to leave and you grab his arm, pulling him back. You cling to his face, pulling his lips against yours. His hands grip your waist and you exhale in a rush. A massive weight is lifted off your shoulders as you kiss him, hold him. His lips part under yours and you moan low in the back of your throat. He clings to you, crushing you against him like he can’t get close enough.

Maker, you could stay like this forever.

He backs you into the lab bench, fingers pressing into your hips and you rock into him, starving. The door hisses open and he jerks back, spinning around and walking away a few steps.

Nya walks around the corner and looks up to see you fiddling with your holopad. Having barely recovered your wits, you grabbed the first thing your hands landed on.

“Y/N.” She greets with a smile. It’s fake and you want to slap her, but you just tighten your grip on your holopad instead.

“Nya. What are you doing here?” You ask, trying for polite at least and failing horribly. Poe smirks at you over the shelf he’s studying.

“Looking for you, actually.” She says, heading over and you internally groan.

“What did I do?” You ask and she laughs lightly.

“Nothing yet.” She promises. “Your plants are in bin Cin17.” She says, handing over the packet she’s holding.

“Oh. Thanks.”

She smiles at you and turns to walk away. You glance at Poe and he shrugs, coming back over. “That was odd.” He comments.

“Odd? That’s literally the nicest she’s ever been to me.” You sigh, turning back to your bench.

“I wonder why.”

“Maybe she wants something? Maybe she saw my outright panic attack in the dining hall and is getting off on my suffering.” You sigh.

“Or. On a slightly less negative note. Maybe she missed you? Maybe she realized she’s in love with you and now she wants to make it right and have babies with you.” He says and by the end, you’re laughing much harder than you should be. You double over, grasping your knees, your entire midsection aching for various reasons.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me rip my stitches.” You gasp.

“It wasn’t that funny.” He mumbles.

“Oh man, you’re a funny guy, Dameron.” You pant, standing up and wiping your forehead.

“Thanks.” He mutters dryly. “May I ask what, exactly, was so funny about that?”

“Nya. Liking me? She’s so into dick, it’s all she talks about sometimes. Everyone who has one is in her sights. Especially you, Commander. And then babies with me? Come on. Get serious.”

“Just her? Or anyone in general is unbelievable?” He asks, an odd, stiff texture to his voice.

“I dunno. Anyone? I never really thought I’d make a good mom.” You shrug, heading for the containers now that you’re back under control.

“Really? I do.” He says and your face heats.

“Moot point at the moment. Bryce doesn’t want kids.” You say and he groans.

“Just when I think…” he rubs his face. “I gotta go. I’ll see you later.” He mumbles, swiftly heading for the door.

“Wait, Poe!” You call, half turning.

Too late. He’s gone.

***

You’ve never been punched before. Training was always hand to hand, blocking blows or fighting with weapons. They don’t teach you how to take a punch, or five, or twenty.

It doesn’t hurt at first. The impacted spot on your cheek just goes numb. You can feel the cut on the inside from your teeth against the sensitive tissue, but it doesn’t hurt. Yet.

Then after a couple minutes, it turns into a white hot pain. Couple that with fists landing all over your body, and you’re in pain like you’ve never felt before. Tears spill over your cheeks as the fist lands against your nose, cracking your head back against your prison table. You can’t see, can’t feel your face. Your mouth fills with blood, coating your tongue and spilling down your chin as you gasp for air. You can feel your lips split in different places.

There isn’t a part of you that doesn’t hurt, but you hold onto Poe. He didn’t give them anything, so you can’t either. You can’t let him have suffered for nothing.

The trooper stops, rolling his shoulder. “Answer me. Where is your base?”

You spit the blood out of your mouth at his feet. “That all you got? I was just getting into it.” You say and he grumbles, turning to leave for the time being.

You close your aching eyes and drop your head against the support. It’s not comfortable by any stretch of the word, but it’s better than having to hold your head up anymore.

The image from your nightmare flashes in front of your eyes, Poe fighting the invisible enemy, only now it’s not so invisible. A StormTrooper is wielding the blade, plunging it deep into Poe’s heart.

You jerk upright in your bed, upsetting your holopad and sending it crashing to the floor. You flip on the light, unnerved and feeling like you're not alone in your room. But there doesn’t seem to be anything there. Just your clothes on the floor.

You push yourself to your feet, not feeling safe here, and grab your blanket, wrapping it around your shoulders. You want to go see Poe, make sure he’s okay, be positive your nightmares haven’t gotten him yet.

But he doesn’t want to see you. Having avoided you for the rest of the day, you get the hint. A moment of weakness. That’s what that kiss was. You were there and he needed someone. Could have been Nya, probably for all he would have minded. Any port in the storm.

So, you bypass his room and head for the tower where you ate your lunch. It’s quiet, dark, you can see anything coming for you. You climb the steps slowly, feeling the familiar pinch of your stitches. They’re still ugly, crude, jagged. Maybe it’s good that Poe doesn’t really want you. No one could possibly love the new mutilated you. Bryce hasn’t seen them yet, either. You’re positive that the second he does, he’ll run for the hills.

Maker, you’re selfish.

You push open the door and a body in the tower makes you freeze. “Oh.” You mumble, realizing it’s Poe. “Sorry. I’ll leave.” You rush, ducking back down.

“Stay.” He croaks and you hesitate. “I can’t sleep. Stay and talk to me?”

“You sure you want me to?” You ask.

“I’d rather it be you than anyone else.” He admits.

You feel like leaves on the wind as you climb the rest of the way up. Swirling around in chaotic confusion. You don’t know which way is up, what to trust. You sit a little ways away, back against the wall, facing him.

“What do you want me to talk about?” You ask finally.

He drags a stick through the dirt, making scratch drawings. “I told you some stuff earlier. Spilled some of my guts. Anything you wanna tell me?” He asks finally.

“Yes.” You answer. It’s harder than you think to get these words out. “I…” you close your mouth, thinking about where to start.

“Not easy. To spill your secrets.” He muses. The pale moonlight ghosts across his face. He looks terrible. Tired, hurt, miserable.

“Anything you wanna ask me?” You prompt. “Maybe I can say it that way.”

He looks at you warily. “Will you tell me the truth?”

“Always.” You answer immediately.

“Why did you kiss me in the river?” He asks. “I’ve been thinking over it on a loop and I just can’t figure it out.”

“It felt… right. I needed to do it. I wanted to do it. You’ve always been the best person in the world to me, always taking care of me and looking out for me. And on that planet, I was losing my fucking m-mind, seeing things, hearing things. You were so patient, so kind, so… you. And I could feel tension. Not in a bad way, but pulling me towards you. I’m so sorry, Poe. I know you said I didn’t do it, but I can’t shake the feeling that if I hadn’t, if I hadn’t distracted you, you would have heard those troopers coming. You’ve never been so compromised on a mission before until you go on one with me. I fucked up so bad and I’ll never be able to forgive myself for hurting you like that.” You ramble, the dam broken and the words spill out everywhere. He doesn’t move in the shadows.

He doesn’t say anything for a long time. Your ears start to ring in the dead silence before he speaks again. “So, why kiss me in the lab?”

You sniffle quietly. “You admitted you wanted to do it again, and it’s been one of the dominating thoughts in my head since you saved me in that closet. I want to kiss you. And I like kissing you, but… the guilt… it just keeps reminding me that I’m hurting everyone. Every time I kiss you, I hurt Bryce. Every time I mention him, I hurt you. I can’t get it right. I’m turning into a plague.” You press your lips together.

“You had a nightmare in the cave. What was it?” He asks. You’re not even sure if he’s actually listening to your words, he gives no indication of hearing them.

“I,” you pause, having to think back that far. “I was hovering over myself as I slept. You were saying something but I couldn’t really hear it. Then I went outside, but it was into a First Order ship. And then I saw the tables we were attached to. And then two men fighting with lightsabers. And then…” you cut off, swallowing thickly. This part you remember, even though you wish you could forget it. “A-and then you. Y-you were fighting something I c-couldn’t see. It had a bl-blade and it killed you, stabbed you th-through the heart.” You say, gasping for breath. It feels like the surrounding air is crushing you. “I w-woke up and you weren’t there, I pa-panicked.” You twist your fingers into your blanket, hiding your face.

“Do you want to kiss me again?” He asks finally.

“Poe,”

“Do you? If you say no, I’ll never bring it up again.” He promises.

“Of course, I do. But it’s not that easy. I keep hurting you. I don’t know how not to. And being around you, it makes me happy, it makes it easier to breathe. I don’t wanna lose you. I couldn’t survive it.” You admit shamelessly.

“You won’t lose me. I won’t leave you.” He says. “One more thing.” He starts.

“Okay?”

“Do you hate the way dickhead doesn’t know how you like your caf?” He asks and you crack a tearful smile.

“Yes. It’s not hard.” You mumble.

“Come here.” He holds out his arms. “Come sit with me.”

You scoot over, resting your head on his shoulder as he spreads your blanket out over the both of you.

“I need you, too, you know. I can’t lose you, either. And if that means I have to kick Bryce from here to Tatooine, I will.” He says, nuzzling into your hair.

“Please don’t. You’ve been hurt enough on my account.” You close your eyes to him stroking your hair.

“No promises, sweetheart.” He's quiet for so long, you nearly fall asleep. “But I’m not gonna stop kissing you.” He murmurs against your hair.

With one last conscious thought, you dig into your pocket, reaching for his hand with your other one. Sleep is making your limbs like lead, heavy and clumsy. You feel him chuckle a little, placing his wrist in your fumbling palm. You place the chain in his hand, curling his fingers around it.

“Meant to give it to you earlier,” you mumble, almost certain you formed actual words.

“Y/N, ” he chokes, squeezing you tight. “Thank you.”

***

“You have to eat something.” He protests, guiding you down off the ladder. His chain is back around his neck, shimmering against his tan skin as it always has. Some day, he's going to give it to someone; someone he wants to spend the rest of forever with. Someone who isn't broken like you. Someone who actually deserves him. And you'll try to be happy for him, but you know it'll break your heart.

“Can’t you just… go get it for me?” You ask, feeling your hands start to shake at the thought of the crowd.

He smiles softly, brushing your hair back. “Sweetheart. No.”

“Poe…” you start and he cups your face.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, okay? I’ll be right there the whole time.” He promises. “But you have to eat. You need your friends. They miss you.” He looks around, noting the empty pathway. “If you need to leave, we’ll leave. Just say the word.” He presses a kiss to your forehead.

“It’s gonna be loud.” You protest as he takes your hand and leads you towards the commissary and dining hall.

“This early?” He scoffs. He pulls you along gently. You could stop him, you could let the tears free that have been simmering just under the surface since you got back. You know he wouldn’t push you to do it if you’re not ready.

But… he’s gone in there, he’s seen his friends. If he can do it, you can, too. You take an extra step, falling in next to him instead of being pulled by him and he smiles down at you proudly.

“There’s my girl.” He says softly. He holds your hand right up until you stop outside the doors. He lifts your hand to his mouth softly, eyes never leaving your face. “I’ll be right next to you.” He promises. You nod and he lowers your hand, reluctantly letting it go until not even your fingertips are touching.

He pulls open the door and lets you walk inside first. He doesn’t shove you in, instead, he waits for you to take a deep breath, smiling down at you until you straighten with a false sense of confidence, and step inside. He follows you, just barely touching your arm as he guides you to the line of food.

Despite his assurances that the room would be mostly empty, with shift changes and missions leaving early, the room is fairly crowded. You can feel his eyes on you, along with about a hundred others, but you feel better today. Stronger, even. You can do this.

You hope.

Poe picks up two trays and starts to put food on both, watching your face for positive or negative signs. You could do this yourself, you’re perfectly capable, but you like him waiting on you a little bit. Just this one time, let him dote on you.

He finds an empty table, just the two of you and he sits across from you, foot tapping against yours. They trickle over, slowly, one at a time. Your friends come to sit next to you. But this time, they don’t swarm you. They sit next to you, or next to Poe, talking to him about something trivial and you’re so grateful. It lets you get used to it again, being around people, acting human again.

You watch Poe, listening to him joke with Snap; Beaumont sets an apple on your tray as he tells Poe some gossip. And Poe sits there, listening and laughing to all of it. He interacts, partakes, and never once does he look uncomfortable or like he wants to bolt. You don’t know how he does it.

And then Lieutenant Connix walks behind him. She leans down to say something in his ear, her hand squeezing his shoulder as she talks. His hand lifts to cover her own as he twists his face to listen. After a second, he nods and she walks away.

You’ve always liked her, she’s friendly, smart, ambitious. But maybe you need to rethink your ideas. She walks quickly, her hips swaying, and you huff under your breath. Since when are she and Poe so close?

You try to listen, to distract yourself, but you can’t tear your eyes away from where the pretty girl disappeared through. Poe’s foot taps against yours and you flinch, looking up at him slowly. He smiles softly, his eyes falling to your ignored food.

You roll your eyes, picking apart your roll and taking small nibbles. After a couple minutes, Connix is forgotten as Beaumont regales the table with a story of how he got trapped in a wedding dress on Coruscant.

Soon, you’re laughing along with them. You forgot what this feels like, your face hurts from smiling so much. Poe’s beautiful eyes are on you, his own grin infectious.

A crack echoes across the big room and you jump, hands grabbing the table, ready to run. Your heart pounds in your ears and it’s like your vision completely leaves you. Snap’s hand settles on yours closest to him as he shouts something. Your brain slowly fades back in and you realize Poe has your other hand across the table and Beaumont is out of his chair, peering across the room.

Two mechs collided, neither paying attention to what was in front of them, their trays falling to the cement. That was the cracking noise.

Poe’s hand is shaking just slightly, hardly noticeable, as it covers yours, but you feel it. You twist your hand into his and he glances over at you. You smile softly, tracing your thumb over the back of his hand.

Beau sits back down next to you, his eyes searching your face for a minute before he grins. “Never boring, eh, Y/N?” He asks, his hand resting on your shoulder.

“I guess not.” You answer. You pull your hands back and pick up the apple. Poe is quicker than you thought possible, his favorite knife out and the handle pressed into your palm before you can even realize you need one.

You cut the apple in half, core out the middle on both halves and give the other half to your best friend. He’s abnormally quiet for a minute as he chews, and you wonder if maybe he’s not as okay as you thought.

“Wexley, what’s on the agenda today?” You ask Snap, half turning to face him, giving Poe time to recover.

“Well, I have a mission the day after tomorrow. So, I need to get my ship ready. There’s a part that’s being problematic. I have some mechs that are gonna look at it today and see if they can fix it.” He sighs.

“Well, if they have any problems, you can always come find me and see if I can help.” You offer and he grins.

“I just might do that.”

Once Poe is sure you’ve eaten all you possibly can without getting sick, he collects your trays and you join him to deposit them before leaving the room with a wave to your friends.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He asks and you slip your hand into his.

“Thank you for making me go.” You say, leaning into his shoulder.

“Of course.” He smiles. “And… thank you.” He sighs, scratching at the back of his neck with his free hand. You cast your mind around, trying to figure out what he could possibly be thanking you for.

“I didn’t do anything.” You frown.

“With that stupid tray… you… fuck. How are you always so strong exactly when I need you to be?”

“Poe, I was ready to bolt. The only thing stopping me was you and Snap.” You tell him. “If you hadn’t grabbed my hand to keep me there, all you would have seen was my dust as I hightailed it out of there.”

He smiles softly, but it’s weak, a little broken. “I didn’t grab your hand to keep you there. I grabbed it to keep me there.” He admits, pausing outside the door to the lab.

You stare up at him, realization dawning much too slowly. “Poe,” you place a hand on his cheek and he leans into it, eyes fluttering closed. “Anything I can do, anything you need-I’ll always be here. You’re not alone.” You whisper and he pulls you close, kissing you softly.

Every time feels like the first time. His lips press against yours like they’ve known each other forever, no hesitation. He tips your head back, towering over you as you hold onto his shirt. His tongue is soft on yours, not domineering and controlling the way… someone else’s is… your subconscious blanks on the name, but it doesn’t matter, not when Poe is kissing you like his very life depends on it. No, like your life depends on it.

He pulls away, breathing slightly faster, forehead pressed to yours. His eyes are closed, but yours are open, drinking in every detail of his beautiful face. “Me and you, kid.” He agrees and you punch his arm, a smile already pulling at your lips. His eyes fly open and he rubs his arm.

“We’re the same age.” You glower and he laughs.

“I know. But you’re so much shorter.” He puts his hand on top of your head and you slap it away, turning towards the door with a huff. You’re about to swipe your keycard, but he pulls you back, plucking it out of your pocket. He swipes it and pushes the door open, letting you step in first.

“Will you stay?” You ask, reaching for your log books.

“Yeah. I don’t have anything else to do. I’m still technically on leave, recovering from…” he trails off, but you get the picture.

“Alright.” You start checking off your supplies and notes while he moves around your lab. You don’t pay him much attention, there isn’t much trouble he can get into. But you feel better having him around.

He looks through every box on the supply shelves, every glass container. You look over at him, catching his eye being magnified through a specimen jar. He looks so ridiculous that you can’t help but snort at him. He grins and straightens up, coming over next to you.

“Didn’t find anything you liked?” You tease, flipping through the last of your notes.

“Oh, I found plenty I like. Just nothing I can take right now.” He sighs wistfully. Your face heats, so you keep your gaze directly away from him. He chuckles and sits in the spinning chair next to your bench.

Chapter Nine

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[euphoricsunflowers]

care — monsta x

request: how do you think our boys would take care of and reassure their dom? like, with a domdrop situation, when you're feeling drained or maybe even guilty :'(

a/n: sorry if these seem kind of repetitive but i hope you like them!!! all gifs are by @imnameimss !!

word count: 2.0

content: sub!monsta x, dom!gn!reader, no smut except for the beginning of wonho’s part, usage of safewords (minhyuk and changkyun), lots of mentions and depictions of aftercare obviously, lots of bad feels on the reader’s part obviously

disclaimer: legit just please take care of your partners, whether dom or sub. remember that everyone deserves the ability to use a safeword if they need/want to and everyone deserves aftercare.

—

son hyunwoo/shownu:

he usually doesn’t start or initiate anything, letting you be the one to do it, which is helpful when you don’t want to do anything. he’s not forceful nor do you have to shut down any advances because he’s just not vocal about it when he wants it. you’ve gotten good at spotting when he’s horny, so that’s not even an issue anymore.

but if anything, hyunwoo is attentive. he noticed something was off immediately, even before you had said a word, that this wasn’t just an off day where you were just tired.

“y/n?” you hear him murmur with concern laced in his voice, “is everything- are you okay?”

“what?” you finally meet his eyes, and his heart breaks just a bit, seeing all those bad feelings you’re holding back, “i- yeah, i’m fine, woo. just a bad day.”

“i don’t think is just a bad day, baby,” he reaches out to hold your hand, and you take it hesitantly, letting him pull you a bit closer, “can you tell me what’s bothering you?”

“i’m- am i a bad person?” you blurt out, before backtracking, “and like, don’t lie to make me feel better, but am i a bad person for the things i fantasize about? i mean like, i get pleasure from hurting you! that can’t be good, i must be-”

“honey,” he whispers as he uses his free hand to stroke your cheek with his thumb soothingly, and you realize just how loud you’ve been getting, “you’re not a bad person. a bad person wouldn’t care if they were bad, and they definitely wouldn’t care about me as much as you do. you’re incredible, y/n,” he smiles sadly, “now how about we make some adjustments to our aftercare routine so this doesn’t happen again, okay?”

lee hoseok/wonho:

completely opposite from shownu, wonho is always needy and has no problems initiating, but he’s also incredibly attentive and notices something is wrong rather quickly.

“on your knees, baby,” you murmur, and right away he slides off the bed to fall to his knees, maybe bruising them a bit, but he knows you love to see him bruised up and he’s happy to make his body your canvas. he sits obediently, waiting for his next command, but he doesn’t get it. instead, you just run your fingers through his hair with a distant look on your face.

he knows in a normal situation he should stay silent, but he decides that this isn’t a right situation, “y/n? is- is everything okay?”

you snap out of your daze, “i- yeah, i’m fine. can we… not do this today, though? i’m sorry.”

“of course! that’s okay! do you… wanna talk about it?” he asks as he stands up, climbing back into bed next to you.

you sigh as he pulls you closer, holding you against his chest, “just feeling kinda icky? i’ve been feeling bad about domming for a few days, i guess i can’t hold it in anymore. can you, uhm, can you say nice things? about me?”

he tries to hold in the ‘you should have told me!’ speech that he can feel already coursing through his body because he can tell it’s not what you need nor want, “you’re the most amazing, baby, the most beautiful, the sweetest, the kindest, most loving, you’re my everything, y/n. i love you.”

“i love you too, bunny. thank you.”

lee minhyuk:

he seems like he’d be oblivious, but in fact he’s probably the most attentive to any changes in your mood whether they be sudden or gradual.

and in the moment, where that sudden “what the fuck am i doing?” realization hits you, he spots it immediately. it’s obvious in the shift from that intensely focused and amused look in your eyes to a much more nervous one. it’s obvious in the way you don’t continue your movements, both leaving him physically tense and frustrated but mentally worried out of his mind, “y/n,” he mumbles. not your title or honorific, but just your name.

“i- yeah? what is it, min?” you stutter, but the facade crumbles quickly.

“red,” he whispers like it’s a forbidden word, but it’s for your sake and not his, so there’s no hesitation in his words.

“oh fuck, i’m sorry, min, here let me-”

“wait! listen to me,” he stops you from getting off of him, pulling you close instead, “i’m fine. i’m okay and i feel good and i liked what you were doing. you’re okay, you’re not a monster, you’re not a bad person.”

you don’t ever need to tell him what’s going on in order for him to know exactly the words to say, “really? you’re- you’re okay? then why did you-”

“you needed the scene to stop,” he says, “how about you let me take care of us today? i can clean up, and we can lay in bed for a few hours and cuddle, alright?” you shake your head, trying once again to get off of time, but you should have known that once minhyuk has you in his arms, you’re not getting out, “y/n, sweetie, you always take care of me, and we’ve both failed to meet your needs this time. c’mon, let me at least try and help you feel better, please?”

yoo kihyun:

kihyun makes it a point that you both talk about your feelings constantly regarding the dynamic and before and after scenes, mostly because he had experienced a lot of sub drop over the course of your relationship when he kept trying to hide any bad feelings. so because he expects full honesty from himself, he expects the same from you.

all the bad feelings come to a head when you give in and decide to talk about them, “ki?” you murmur to him next to you, and he hums in response, “can you come here?”

he finally looks up, almost worried he had done something wrong before he sees the melancholic look on your face. he comes close to you, enough for you to pull him in, hold him with every fiber of your being, “honey, what’s wrong?”

you try to be straightforward and honest, just like how he tries to be, “i’ve been feeling bad since yesterday about what i said, about liking it when you cry.”

“are you worried about how i felt about it? or do you feel like a bad person because of it?”

you sigh, “kind of both.”

“first of all, i thought that it was incredibly hot in the moment, so don’t worry at all about that first bit,” he chuckles half-heartedly, holding you tightly against himself in return, “and secondly, you’re not a bad person for enjoying that. you knew i was consenting and we talked about everything beforehand. you didn’t do anything i didn’t want.”

“you’re sure?”

“i wouldn’t lie to you, y/n. i’m sure. now what can i do after a scene to help you feel good? obviously i might need more attention physically, but aftercare is for you too.”

chae hyungwon:

hyungwon is caring in his own little, quiet way. in the way he’ll take care of chores for you or press a kiss to your forehead even as you’re asleep when he leaves or in the way he’ll notice you’re having a bad day and silently ask to hug and hold you until you feel better. he’s quietly caring.

and it’s the same now. he’s silent unless you ask him to talk, holding you quietly as you both sit on the bed, “i’m sorry, wonnie.”

“don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. just talk to me.”

“i’m so tired,” you groan, feeling his touch on your shoulder to keep you grounded, “i just feel so constantly paranoid that this isn’t what you want and i’m really just hurting you and you don’t actually want this, you’re just saying you do for my sake-”

“y/n,” he whispers, brining you attention back to him, “i have clear hard limits for a reason, and you’ve always respected them. i get that you’re trying to attentive to what i want, but i need you to trust and believe me. anything i let you do or ask you to do to me is something i want. you’re okay.”

“i’m okay, okay, just- just keep holding me. and- and keep reassuring me, please, i need to hear it,” you feel him adjust as you speak, lying down and pulling you to rest against his chest.

“of course, i’ll say those words until my lips are blue.”

lee jooheon:

he’s an angel, if a bit dense, that only wants the best for you both. so it takes him a moment to catch what’s going on, especially because he was incredibly needy for you but he can never stand to see you this messed up yet trying to keep it together.

“baby!” he calls out, hoping to catch your attention, but you’re too into your phone to look at him, “please, y/n, i’m so needy for you. i want to be all yours. so take me please, please don’t ignore me-”

“joo, please leave me be, i want to be alone,” you whisper, but your shaky voice worries him more than your words confuse and upset him.

“darling, talk to me, please,” he pleads, resting his head in your lap in order to make you look at him, “tell me what’s wrong.”

“i just- i feel bad, okay? i don’t want this right now,” you try to keep your voice still, but it’s in vain, “fuck, jooheon, i don’t want to do this right now, okay?”

“i wasn’t- i wasn’t pressuring you into doing anything! i’m just worried about you!”

“well i just- the idea of what… i normally do today, makes me feel icky, you know?” you feel him wrap his arms around you in a weird sort of cuddle position, “i’m sorry.”

he shakes his head cutely, and you run your fingers through his hair sweetly, “don’t be, let’s just lie here till you feel better. i love you, y/n, i love you so much.”

im changkyun/i.m:

in the moment he says the safeword, changkyun isn’t focused on you, and you’re not focused on you. you’re focused on taking care of him, getting him in a more comfortable position, and asking what happened. you’re not thinking about yourself as you comfort him and lull him to sleep, and you don’t think about yourself until long past he’s fallen asleep.

but then you do think about yourself. it’s so worrying to hear the word in the moment, but once the adrenaline wears off and all there is is the stifulling and suffocating fear of ever doing that again and the cruel shame that it even happened this one time is enough to wreck any chance of falling asleep together you might have.

you sit in the kitchen, drinking a cup of water, when a grumpy and tired changkyun walks out of the bedroom and clings to your back, “why are you out of bed?”

“i wasn’t feeling good, honey. go lie down, i’ll be back soon,” you murmur hushedly, but he doesn’t leave you be.

“please don’t feel bad about earlier. it wasn’t your fault that it was too much for me.”

“baby, it kind of is. i shouldn’t have pushed you that far, and now i just, i don’t feel good. i can't- i can’t sleep. i don’t even want to look at you because i’m too afraid to face it.”

“then don’t look at me, it’s dark anyway. just listen to my voice, let me try to soothe you, okay? we can talk about what happened and how it’ll be handled later on in the morning. for now, let’s go back to bed. do you want me to sing a little bit for you to lull you to sleep?”

—

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[gotnofucks]

Happily Ever After - 2

Paring: dark!Steve x desi!reader

Summary: You are welcomed in your new life, as the bride of Steve Rogers

Words: 4k

Warnings: Non-con/dub-con, smut, loss of virginity, breeding kink (I think), 18+ ONLY

A/N: huge huge huge thanks to @donutloverxo for the inspiration of this chapter. I swear I may have written it, but most ideas belong to the wonderful girl Berry! You’re a sweetheart!

Part 1 (can be read as standalone but maybe read the previous part)

MASTERLIST

+++++

You felt sick as you gazed at the Avengers Compound, the whole building lit up with lights and decorated with flowers. Steve took your hand in his, a grin on his face as he led you past the beautiful rangolis in your welcome. You tried to take your hand away from his and he tutted.

“Now wife,” He seemed to love using that title, “don’t be a brat. Look how warmly everyone has come to welcome and congratulate us.”

You followed his gaze to the main door which were ajar, your new family waiting for you. You couldn’t help the scowl on your face when you noticed everyone was donning desi attire, not in the least bit bothered about how this wedding actually came to be. The tinkling of your anklets echoed as you approached the smiling avengers, a huge cheer booming for your welcome. Bucky stepped away from behind you and joined the crowd at your front, taking the aarti ki thali from Nat and wiggling his brows. He rotated the plate in front of you and Steve, showering you with flower petals. You bared your teeth at him, only making him smile wider.

Steve chuckled at you, leaning down to brush a very soft kiss on your brow and your jerked away.

“Be a good wife and kick the pot” He said pointing at the floor. You looked down and your mouth parted in surprise at the rice filled kalash on the doorstep, waiting for you to gently kick it inside. Steve really had outdone himself, read up on every small detail of your culture. You wondered if he knew the symbolism of this and glanced at his smug face from the corner of your eyes. He winked at you and you breathed sharply, kicking the kalash harder than necessary and sending the rice in it flying inside. The avengers clapped and cheered as you took a step inside, but before you could do more Steve swept you in his arms.

“Steve!” You shouted, arms automatically coming to hold him around the neck as he carried you over the threshold. Your heavy lehenga didn’t deter him, and he walked in with you with barely any effort.

“Some of your traditions darling, some of mine.” He whispered in your ear and you dunked your head in embarrassment as he took you towards the elevator to his floor. You didn’t bother glancing at the laughing people surrounding you, each of them as depraved as your husband.

Husband

It hadn’t sunk in yet that you were married to Steve Rogers, but as he carried you inside the elevator and the doors shut behind you both, fear gathered in your heart. You chanced a look up at his face, finding his cobalt blue eyes already locked on your face. The nervousness in your eyes just amused him more and he bit his lip before licking them.

“You’re going to love the room, I had Nat and Wanda decorate it for us.” He said once he finally set you down on your feet on reaching his floor. You wrung your hands uneasily, the truth of what lay ahead making you want to puke. Steve glanced at you, quirking a brow when you didn’t come forward.

“There are more rituals left, wedding games to be played.” You said softly, trying to stall a little more. Steve snickered at your obvious attempt to delay the night and he came forward to pull you in by your arms. He’d undone the top few buttons of his Sherwani, and you blinked as his chest barely peeked from the gap.

“We’ll play all the games that you want, fulfill all your customs and rituals wife. But tomorrow. I’ve waited too long to have you to wait another night.” His mouth met yours suddenly, huge bulky arms holding yours and restricting your movements. You hummed into the kiss, trying to shake your head but Steve held fast, parting your mouth with his tongue and deepening it. When he pulled away you were panting, hands trembling slightly as they rested on his massive chest.

Taking your hand in his, he pulled and your feet reluctantly dragged behind him, slipping slightly on the polished floor. Steve surprised you by not taking you to the bedroom but in the kitchen, leaving you only to pull out a saucer from his cabinet and the carton of milk from his fridge. His smile had turned mischievous and you backed away from until you met the cold marble counter at your back.

“Gotta say darling, your culture is amazing. They look after their men, don’t they? Like making them milk with aphrodisiac spices to maintain stamina at night?”

You shook your head when he looked at you expectantly, pointing at the milk and spices. When you didn’t move, he came forward and clutched your waist, the bare flesh between your blouse and lehenga meeting his warm hands and breaking into gooseflesh.

“Why must you make everything so difficult, huh? Just make me the goddamn milk.” He hissed, standing so close that your chest brushed his. You trembled as his eyes grew annoyed and jumped into action when he pinched your waist, making you squeal. You turned around and out of his hold, gathering almonds and saffron and quickly grinding them together in a pestle. As you worked you could feel Steve’s warmth at your back, his hand sneaking out to hold you from under your chest.

“Steve, I am cooking.” You complained felt his chest rumble in laughter behind you. He rested his head on yours, caging you against the kitchen counter with his massive body. Somehow, his body heat felt warmer than the steam rising from the boiling milk on the stove from your front. As you added your spices to the milk, watching it turn from white to pale yellow, one of Steve’s hand unclasped the heavy jewelry from your neck. Your eyes squeezed shut as his touch roamed over your back and traced the column of your neck, his breath hitting you right behind your ears and making you shiver.

“I don’t need this milk for stamina, you make me hard for days, but I am honoring your culture. You’ll be such a good wife to me, I’ll make sure of it.” He said and pressed a searing kiss on the juncture of your throat, his hands clutching you tight to him. Your breath became labored as his lips trailed over your shoulder and you wiggled. He let you go so you could pour him the saffron milk, smirking as he sipped it.

“You wanna feel magic?” He asked, taking your hand and pressing it to his crotch. A whimper escaped your lips as his hardness swelled beneath your palm, his own hand over yours keeping it in place. You begged him with your eyes to let you go, but he simply pressed harder in your hand and let out a groan.

“Steve, please.” You pleaded when Steve put down his empty glass beside you and trapped you against the counter. His breath washed over your parted lips and you could taste it on your own tongue. His hands wound around you, pulling you flush to his chest until there was nothing in between.

“You look so pretty when you beg me” He breathed. Your head was cradled in his chest, hands fisting his sherwani when a few errant tears dropped past. Steve touched the wetness on your cheeks, spreading it with the pad of him thumbs over your face. “God, what a mess you’ll make with this makeup as I make you choke on me. Look at this tiny mouth, darling.”

A discomforted whine tore free from you when he pushed two fingers inside your mouth, spreading them apart to stretch open your lips. The ends of your mouth arched, his thick digits pressing over your wet tongue, making you gag. He laughed at that, wiping his wet fingers softly over your lips before chastely kissing your forehead.

“Come, lets go christen our house.”

Your heart was thudding painfully in your chest and your bangles clinked together as you fought him. It was ridiculous how insignificant your strength was compared to him, how easily he could pull you along just like a toy. Your cries pierced the air, but your husband simply shoved you inside the bedroom and shut the door. Even with terror flowing in your veins, a begrudging appreciation was apparent as you looked at what would be your bedroom.

The whole room was fragrant with flowers, several chains of flower hanging over the bed and making a beautiful canopy overhead. The bed itself was decorated with rose petals, and soft candles were sputtering in every corner. Your breath hitched in your throat as your stared at the room, the sheer domesticity and beauty of it feeling like a taunt. The ugly nature of your union with Steve was about to sully the piousness of this night, and you resisted the urge to tear away every decoration hanging from the ceiling.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Steve purred in your ear, his hands coming to hold your from behind. His hardness ground in your lower back, and you sniffed as you felt his teeth nip your earlobe.

“Please don’t do this Steve.” Begging him was your last resort, you’d already lost your dignity. But you’d give away the last shred of it to save your innocence. “You promised you love me, please don’t do this. Give me some time.”

Steve turned you around to face him, your chin in his finger and thumb as he peered deep in your eyes. The blue in his had given way to a darker hue, almost black as lust invaded his senses. He pushed you back towards the bed, not looking away from your face for one second.

“Time? Baby, this night should have come months ago. You should have been on your knees for me that night I first I asked you, but you had to be a fucking bitch about it. But no matter, I’ve got you now. You can worship me now.”

The back of your knees met the mattress and you sat on the edge of the bed, looking up fearfully at Steve who was methodically removing his clothes. His eyes seemed glued to your form as he unveiled his body to you, carelessly throwing away his clothes. You gulped in fear, eyes moist when you realized what would happen.

“Don’t look like that honey. Consider them lessons as a wife in training. A good wife should always know how to pleasure her man.”

He finally pushed down his boxers, his cock bouncing out and hard, pointing right at you with its weeping head. You stifled another gasp because it looked so red and angry. And huge. Its head was mushroom shaped, leaking dewy pre-cum from its slit, the roundness of it so huge you wanted to bolt away. Steve chuckled as he took in your reaction to his cock, his fist enveloping his length to stroke up and down, pulling on the soft skin.

“Don’t worry honey, it will fit. That’s my job to make sure it does. You…You just need to suck.”

You closed your eyes, hoping you’ll escape the terror this way. It was just like you were a kid again hiding under your blanket, believing that if you couldn’t see the horrors, they’d stop existing. Those silly notions however remained in your childhood when you felt his heavy tool slap your face lightly, some of its wetness sticking to your cheek. Strong fingers grasped your jaw, forcing it open and Steve pushed into your mouth slowly. A sinful moan emanated from him, your mouth holding his pulsing length in your warmth.

“Open your eyes, let me gaze at your soul as I make your body mine.”

You blinked at him with watery eyes, your hands pushing against his thighs when he thrust in deeper. His hands were in your hair, helping you bob up and down as you slobbered over him, your saliva dribbling down to his balls. Pleasured grunts kept leaving Steve’s open mouth as painful whimpers left yours. He was so huge you could barely take half of him, the corners of your mouth cracking open a little due to his girth.

“Just like that honey, suck a little harder – Yesss! Now press that tongue on my underside…Just like that, yeah.”

You tried to breath through your nose, following his commands that made it a little easier. Your tears had pooled at the point of your chin, dripping down slowly. Steve pulled out of your mouth suddenly, pinching his cock a little with a pained expressed, relaxing after a minute.

“You’ll learn to swallow me later, but tonight my cum is going straight in that cunt of yours.”

Your eyes widened in terror, the mascara and makeup smudged all over your face casting you a pitiful creature. Steve to your surprise gently started removing the numerous jewelries from your body, his hands soft as they reached the hundreds of pins keeping your hair up.

“Steve, I – I don’t want a baby. Not yet.” You said and he shot you a cheeky smile.

“I don’t too, not yet.” He assured you, still detangling your hair with utmost care. “I want you to myself for some time, need you only for my pleasure. I am not ready to share you with a squealing brat anytime soon, even if that brat is mine.”

Your scalp hurt as it was finally free off the accessories, and Steve massaged it with his fingers. Why was he being so sweet all of a sudden? You peeked at him with a confused expression on your face, the pout on your lip making him coo.

“Believe what you will Y/n, I have loved you most ardently. It may not seem like that now, but it is true.”

His words should have soothed you, given you hope about the grim marriage you were forced in, but instead they made you mad. How could a man be so ignorant to think his obsession as love? How could any person in the world treat someone they love as Steve did to you? You drew in an angry breath, a curse hissed from between your teeth before you punched his stomach. Steve staggered back, more from surprise than the force behind your weak punch. His own angry eyes met yours in challenge and you were thrown in the center of the bed before you realized it.

“You dumb bitch!” He seethed, his body hovering over yours and trembling with barely suppressed rage. “I’ve tried to be fucking gentle with you, but if you want to act like a spoiled brat, then that’s how I’ll goddamn treat you!”

Two hands grabbed your blouse and pulled, the ripping noise echoing in the room as your beautiful blouse gave out at the seams and split. You cried out under him, breasts spilling free and bouncing. He didn’t seem to feel your hands pushing on his bare chest, too busy to remove your heavy, multi layered lehenga. When he finally removed the offending garment, he settled over you, his heavy cock hitting your clothed center. You were trembling in a mix of fear, nausea, and anger. The spare few bangles on your wrists merrily jingled as you struggled with the kiss forced on your lips, Steve’s lips travelling down from there to your throat, leaving teeth marks in their wake.

“You are too wild my wife, but I know how to tame a fiery dame. I’ll show you how to worship your man.”

The heat of his mouth enveloped your hardening nipple, his tongue swirling around it. You keened under him, your tears leaving black mascara tracks over your cheeks and spilling on the pristine white bed sheet beneath. Rose petals crushed under your body, their sweet smell the most offending thing to greet you in this moment.

“Stop it! Please!” You begged, not because it was too painful but just the opposite. The captain on the field was also a captain in bed, leading your body in a journey of sweet sweet pleasure that had you mewling as his mouth descended. You didn’t want this feeling, this excitement that coursed through your body and settled like simmering heat deep in your womb. You didn’t want to let out that moan when Steve ripped off your panties and licked your drenched core.

“Oh good lord, you take like heaven. My angel, my beacon of light, so sweet like honey.”

His words affected you as much as his tongue, your lust addled brain taking his sweet praises directly to your heart and warming you up for him. As you writhed under him, felt his supple tongue dip inside you and around your hard nub, you pondered over the irony. By all means, he was your husband. Forced as the marriage may have been, it was conducted with full rites in the holy witness of agni (fire) and with proper rituals. Was this why you felt this way? Because somewhere, in some deep recess of your twisted mind you accepted the role as his wife, as his other half whose sanctified role was to serve and please him?

Your body drew up in an arch, eyes snapping open as you howled your release in the air, your juices spilling directly in Steve’s mouth who slurped them away with relish. The maintained the eye contact as he licked the last of your essence had your walls clenching around nothing and you drank in the erotic sight of his massive body between your thick thighs, his blond hair askew.

“You see how good we can be Y/n? How good I can make you feel?”

He pushed a finger in your still slightly pulsing channel, rubbing along your spongy walls to help you open. He was so thick, so meaty that you’ll pass out from the pain if unprepared. Another finger entered, and you threw your head back, sobbing and confused from the conflicting emotions inside you. You felt him scissor you open, your untouched entrance straining under the pressure and a pained hiss escaping you.

“Just a little more my darling, need to loosen you up.”

He climbed up your body, bringing his face over yours and kissing you deep. You responded without thinking, tasting yourself on his tongue as he moaned. When you felt him line up along your entrance, your hands shot out to take hold of his shoulders, squeezing.

“Condom. Please, you said no kids.” You begged and Steve kissed you again, brushing his nose against yours.

“Our first-time won’t be with a layer between. I want to feel you, and nothing will come in the middle of this union. In fact, nothing will ever come between us. I’ll get you on birth control, but I am not wearing rubber. My seed will always find their end deep inside you.”

You shook your head, fisting his hair to get his attention.

“Steve please, don’t do this. Its too much of a risk…You have a very potent DNA. You’re enhanced.”

Steve ignored your words, reaching down to align himself again and starting to push in. You scrunched your eyes shut as his bulbous head barely started stretching your walls, your pathetic sniffles fanning his neck.

“Listen to me well, you don’t tell me what to do. I will always have you as I want, whenever I want. Your job is to present for me, be ready for me with a wet cunt to slide right in.”

And he did just that. He fed in every inch of this thick cock in your core, tearing through the flimsy barrier that made you cry out loud. You were sobbing in his chest, holding onto the one responsible for the pain in the first place. When you felt his pelvis flush against yours, you buried you head in his neck, begging him to stay still.

“Shh baby, its okay. It had to happen. It won’t hurt in a little while.” He soothed you, distracting you with little kisses all along your face and collarbone. You looked at him with watery eyes, not knowing how to feel about him as he sat balls deep inside you. It was when he reached between your bodies and drew back bloody fingers that your heart contracted in sorrow. Your virtue, all but snatched from you.

“Look at you staining the white bedsheet with the proof of your innocence. You saved yourself for your husband, and here is your reward.” Steve murmured and your walls trembled when he sucked your virgin blood in his mouth. You breathed deeply, gazing into his eyes and your hands traveled to his back, the thick muscles rippling under your touch.

“If I bleed, so will you!” You declared and with that you dug your nails in his flesh and raked them down his back in vengeance, his pained screech followed by just as painful a thrust. He moved inside you like a demon, pushing into your body as if trying to come out of the other end. Both your voices rose in the air along with pants, your nails digging deeper in his back and a small stream of blood poured over the curve of his back and met the white sheets.

“You!” Steve hissed, kissing you, fucking you. His hands travelled the expanse of your curves, dipping into every crevice and his hard cock scratched your walls deliciously. “You make me so fucking mad. I want to kill you, but I want to kill you by giving you so much love, so much pleasure.”

As his words became unintelligible, his thrusts harder and deeper, your voice higher, the coil in your gut tightened and tightened until it finally snapped and your heat clutched him in a velvet grip, milking his cock. Steve groaned, his head falling in the crook of your neck as he breathed heavily, the last of his cum painting your womb.

You lay beneath his heaving body, your blood staining his cock while his stained your hands. You matched the fire in his eyes with the glowing embers in yours, and a smile tugged on his lips as he delicately pulled out. You winced in pain, a chocked noise coming from you that made him wince in return. He reached over the other side of the bed, pulling out a basin from underneath and a wet towel. You watched in awe as he slowly, almost reverently cleaned between your legs, soft hushes cooed to you in a kind voice.

“You don’t see it yet, but you need me just as much as I need you. Fire like yours, it can only be matched by someone like me. You’ll burn every other man to a crisp, but me? I like that burn, I challenge your fire. We are made for each other, for no other woman could have taken me like you just did.”

You turned away from him, him and his words that made shame wash over you. How wantonly you had responded to his touch, how ferociously you had clawed his back like a tigress, subconsciously leaving your mark on him as he did on you. You felt his warm, sweaty body curl against you from behind, holding you close.

“I love you” He confessed again. “I will always love you, despite the glare of your eyes and venom of your words. I will always come back to you, just like you will to me. You’re not leaving me wife, not now, not ever.”

Your husband gathered you in his massive arms, cocooning you in his warmth and love as the last of your tears dried. He let you sniffle, hand running through your damp hair in a loving caress.

“I won’t take your name.” You suddenly blurted and Steve’s form shook behind you with silent laughter. His arms tightened around your middle, his semi hard cock nestling between the plump cheeks of your bottom.

“Take it? My dear, you talk like I ever gave you the option. The future for us Rogers seems to be bright indeed.”

+++++

taglist: @what-is-your-wish @stanmysoul @littlegasps @sweeterthanthis @shooting-star-love  @bluemusickid @scentedsongrebel @harrysthiccthighss @muralskins

[muichiroslover]

Part 1 to this story ☜︎

Kisaki waited impatiently as he stood at the entrance to the Festival, he got there around 5:40 and now it was 5:56 and it’s felt like hours

He put his hand to his forehead as he recalled what happened before he left for this stupid festival

“What?! You’re actually going to the festival with her??” Hanma laughs as he laid sprawled over a few crates

Kisaki gritted his teeth as he sighed annoyed

“If I said no then i would have my cover blown, I need her to trust me and fall in love so I can eventually take over g/n” he says sighing and Hanma just laughs

“Yeah well, good luck with that!” He says amused and Kisaki sighed annoyed once more

He looked at his watch again, it was 6:01

“And the woman was yelling my ear off about not being late” he muttered clicking his tongue before he heard the call of his name

He looked up and his eyes widened slightly as you rushed over holding your Yakuta

“Kisaki! Sorry am I late? It was kind of hard getting this on..” you laugh nervously

He looked at your and for some reason his face felt hot as he sighed and looked away

“Whatever, let’s just go” he says and you beam at him as you grab his hand

“Do you like my outfit?” You ask and he looks at you again before looking away “it’s fine I guess” he says and you beam at him once more before looking around

You and Kisaki ended up doing all kinds of things from catching fishes to throwing balls at bottles to win prizes

Right now you were at the fish station for your 35th try at getting a fish

“You...really suck at this..” Kisaki says as he watched your net break once again, you groan as you get up

“Man I really wanted one of those fishes..” you say dejected and he sighs as he pays for one net, he crouches down and in a swift motion he gets a fish into his cup

You gasp as the guy gives him a bag of water and he puts the fish in and gives it to you, you grin at him brightly as you grab the bag and hug him

You hold him tightly and place a haste kiss to his cheek, making the boy blush as you let go

“Thanks Ki! I l-“ you begin and smile wider

“I love you so much!” You say grinning at him widely and he blushes as he looks off to the side

“No problem..” he mutters and you guys continued through the festival till it was late, he dropped you off back home and you gave him another kiss on the cheek

“Thanks for tonight Ki, I really enjoyed it” you say and he rubs his neck embarrassed acting annoyed

“Yeah I had fun too, goodnight...love you..” he mutters the last part and the grin on your face couldn’t stop itself

“Really?!” You beam and he sighs annoyed

“Yeah yeah get inside” he says and you laugh lightly as you begin to go up the stairs you turn and smile at him

“I’m glad you do, that makes me really happy” and with that you headed up to your house, Kisaki sighed as he headed back to the place him and Hanma were sharing

He opened the door and threw off his shoes to see Hanma laying lazily on the couch on his phone, he looked at at Kisaki

“Fun night?” He asks amused and Kisaki flips him off

“Change of plans” Kisaki says and Hanma sits up “oh?”

“I’ll just keep her by my side as I take over Japan, it’s just easier that way..” he says and Hanma laughs

“Aw man!! You’re totally whipped for her!” He laughs and Kisaki clicks his tongue as your face continues to pop up in his head, a blush forming on his cheek

“Whatever..”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You closed the door to your apartment as you changed out of your Yakuta and you grabbed your toothbrush as you brushed your teeth

You gagged into the water before brushing your teeth once more and looking up at yourself in the mirror

You looked away and headed to your room to go to sleep

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kisaki came over the next day per request you telling him you absolutely needed him to come over for something important

He knocked on your door and you opened it close to immediately

“Hi!” You say grinning and he looks away already blushing

“Hey..I brought snacks” he says holding up a bag and you smile

“Great! Come in come in” you say stepping to the side and he takes off his shoes as he steps in, you grab the bag from him as you lead him to the kitchen

“I told you I’d cook for you!” You say happily and he looked at the food astonished

“Today we’ll be having rice with vegetables with a side of fish!” You beam and he sits down as you pull the seat out for him

You sit down as well and you guys begin eating

“By the way, thanks for the fish my little sister adored it! She really loves marine life and such that’s why I wanted one so badly..” you say a little embarrassed and he nods

“No problem, glad she liked it” he says and you grin as you stab into the fish

“Well lets split it” you say and begin cutting the fish into bite sizes and splitting it evenly

~~~~~~~~~~

You and Kisaki kept dating, it had been a few months and your members began to gradually accept him and Hanma, but they were still on guard around them, but seeing you laugh and smile made them keep up the facade

But there were a few people who didn’t exactly agree with this

“Y/N GET IT TOGETHER, DO YOU REALLY THINK OUT OF EVERYONE BAJI WOULD WANT YOU WITH HIM?!” Mikey shouted at you

“MIKEY LEAVE ME ALONE I KNOW WHAT IM DOING” you shout as you walk to your bedroom door but it gets blocked, you looked up at Mitsuya who was looking at you with such sad eyes

“Please Y/n, please don’t do this, just break up-“ he begins

“NO I WONT, I WONT I WONT” you shout as tears started brimming your eyes

Draken sat on your couch rubbing his temples as he got up

“This is obviously not working, let’s just go” he says, but you could see the anger and disappointment in his eyes as he opened your front door and left, Mikey following after

Mitsuya slowly walked to the door and looked back at you who was looking at him as tears fell down your cheeks, he looked on the verge of crying as well

“Y/n...I hope you know what your doing by staying with him..” and with that he left and closed the door behind himself

You watched the door as you fell onto your knees and sobbed

“I’m so so sorry” you whispered into the air of your empty house

You closed your eyes as you tried to think of fond memories

Flashback

“Y/n! Y/n!” Baji shouts as he runs into your room with a huge grin, you look over from your book at the little Baji

Being an only child you really didn’t play much so that left you with hobbies like reading and calligraphy

“What?” You say

“I learned this super cool move from Mikey, wanna see?” He asks and you sigh as you close your book and put your undivided attention onto Baji, just how he liked it

“Sure” you say and he grins as he takes in a deep breath

He ended up trying to do a 360 kick and hit his foot on the table in your room, he started crying

You sighed as you jumped off your bed and leaned down to the Baji who was trying to hide his face from you

“I didn’t even see what happened, I promise” you say as you grab your headband and wrap it around his ankle

He sniffled

“You didn’t see me mess up?” He asks and you shake your head “nope” you say as you finish the wrap

“So keep practicing so you can show me for the first time” you say looking up at him and smiling, he smiles back at you baring his fangs and gets up

“Just watch y/n! I’m gonna show you the best kick out there!” He says and you nod as he runs out, you laugh lightly as you get back onto your bed and pick up your book

“Stupid Baji..” you say

Your sobs got harsher as the memory finished in your head, life really was unfair for you

[spencers-renaissance]

you look after everyone, but who looks after you?

Summary: Penelope is sad and lonely and thinks nobody can see her struggling, but Emily does. When she shows up at her apartment unannounced, one thing leads to another, and soon a miserable evening turns into one of the best in Penelope's life.

Tags: hurt/comfort, sad penelope, angst w a happy ending, cuddling, tooth-rotting fluff, getting together, first kiss, friends to lovers

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x Penelope Garcia

Word Count: 1.7k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

I'm imagining s5/6 penemily for this one!

Penelope's small and bright apartment is her only source of comfort tonight, and although she does absolutely everything in her power to maximise the cosiness, to feel as safe and warm as possible inside its protective walls, it still doesn't feel like enough.

She's sad, and she's tired, and a larger part of her than she'd like to admit is bitter, which is an icky emotion, and she hates more than anything that it exists inside of her but tonight, it does, and there isn't anything she can do to stamp that stubborn little flame out.

She has always prided herself on the way she acts towards others. She makes sure that people are okay, and she bakes homemade muffins and puts them on their desks with one of her colourful toys when the bad stuff is getting to them, and she gives out hugs like there's no tomorrow; that's who Penelope Garcia is, and it's something that will always be important to her, no matter what.

But sometimes— sometimes she wants her own Penelope Garcia. It's easier to cheer other people up, to make them smile on a sad and rainy day, than it is to pick herself up out of her own all-consuming, utterly inexorable funks that creep up on her every now and then. And because happiness, colour, and bright smiles are who she can't help but be, people don't always see through that facade when it's no longer an instinct but a mask.

And because she would never dream of putting her bad mood or her sadness or her heavy, weighty grief on the shoulders of anyone else, she's left on her own.

When the last candle is the living room is lit, and her favourite lamps are on; when she's taken a hot shower, and she's put on her favourite pyjamas; when she's placed the order for her dinner-for-one, she sits down slowly on the sofa and pulls her knees up to her chest, staring at the inky blackness of the one window she forgot to draw the curtains over. As she stares, the inky blackness she feels on the inside only grows until it consumes her, swirling aggressively until tears are streaming down her face, and she's choking back sobs that threaten to rip her chest in two.

She's only brought out of her miserable, desolate stupor when the intercom buzzes with a visitor that she supposes is probably the delivery man with her Chinese order. She'd fancied Indian, but it reminded her too much of the team dinners Spencer always dragged them to, and that was just a little too painful for a lonesome night like this.

"Come on up," she says into the intercom, not bothering to hide the tiredness in her voice from a stranger she'll never see again, and without waiting for a response, she sits back on the sofa, staring at the purple walls of her apartment until there's a soft knock at the door.

Almost on auto-pilot, she stands up and opens the door, and her eyes widen as she stares in shock at Emily Prentiss standing in her hallway.

"You're not the delivery man," she whispers, still staring at her with wide eyes.

Emily chuckles sadly. "No, Pen. I'm not."

Penelope nods, blinking a couple of times, very unsure of what to do next or why the woman she's secretly in love with is standing in front of her at 10pm on a Tuesday night.

"Can I come in?" Emily prompts.

"Oh, uh— yes, of course." She opens the door wide enough for Emily to slip into her warmly lit living room and takes the opportunity of Emily's back briefly turned to scrub fruitlessly at her makeup-less, tear-stained face.

"This is cosy."

"Yeah, I just reread my favourite book about Hygge."

"Hygge?"

"It's uh. It's a Danish thing." Usually, she jumps at the opportunity to talk about Hygge and all the things she'd learned from her trip to visit her Danish friend last year, but right now, she's far too tired.

Emily nods, dropping her handbag by the door and walking over to take a seat on the sofa. "Come sit."

Penelope obeys and curls up in the opposite end to Emily, pulling a blanket over her lap and cuddling into it in another vain attempt to cheer herself up. Still, when pretty candles and the promise of takeaway can't make her happy, there really isn't much hope.

They stare at each other for a couple of minutes before Emily speaks, leaning forward a little. "How are you feeling, Penelope?"

Penelope blinks. "I'm fine."

Emily smiles, and again, it's sad. "No, Pen. How are you really feeling?"

She continues staring but doesn't say anything in response.

Emily scoots a little closer on the sofa. "Listen, I've watched you over the last couple of days. I know you're having a hard time, and I know that you won't say anything to anyone because you're brave and strong and quiet in your suffering. You look after everyone, Penelope, but who looks after you?"

Immediately at hearing those words, her face crumples, and she descends into the tears she'd only just managed to stop moments earlier. This time, though, the sobs she'd been choking back spillover, wracking her shoulders as she hugs her knees to her chest, desperate to hold herself together as she completely falls apart.

"Oh, Pen." Emily moves even closer and pries Penelope's hands away from her knees until she's able to guide her into a hug. Penelope usually tries to keep her physical distance from Emily, too scared of what she'll do if given a chance to touch her, but right now, she can't help but bury her face in her neck and cling on to her for dear life as Emily holds her back just as tightly.

"Shh, you're okay, honey," she soothes quietly, running her hand up and down her back gently as she lets Penelope fall apart in her arms. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

She says everything Penelope needs to hear as she cries herself out, sobs eventually receding to tired sniffles as she pulls away from Emily slightly, a little embarrassed of her actions.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry on you like that."

Emily brings a hand to her chin and lifts her face gently until she's looking directly into Emily's warm, kind brown eyes. "You have nothing to apologise for, okay? I'm just sorry you've been having such a rough time and haven't had anyone to talk to about it."

Penelope nods, still embarrassed that she fell apart so easily but feeling soothed and comforted by Emily's warm words and gentle hands.

Just then, the buzzer goes again. "That's, uh, that's my dinner."

"Ah," Emily says, nodding in understanding. "Is that who you thought I was?"

Penelope looks away sheepishly. "Yeah."

"That explains the abrupt invitation upstairs," Emily says, smiling at her as she gets off the sofa and buzzes the courier up. "You mind if I stick around while you eat?"

"No! Please— please stay," she says, hating the desperation that bleeds into her voice.

"Okay, I'll stay, of course I will," Emily promises, rushing to soothe her again as she hears the agitation and distress in Penelope's voice. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Penelope nods gratefully. "You can even have some of my eggrolls," she says, managing a little smile as she references the well-known fact that Emily despises eggrolls and makes such a big, dramatic deal out of it every time any of them order Chinese.

Emily laughs, her head tipping back a little. "You're so generous."

She opens the door for the delivery man and takes the bag from him, before bringing it over to the coffee table and laying it out in front of Penelope.

"You should eat up, sweetie," she says in that kind, concerned way of hers as she comes to sit next to her on the sofa, "I'm sure that crying took it out of you, hm?"

Penelope nods tiredly and tucks into her dinner as Emily flicks through the TV channels before settling on a rerun of Will & Grace. They sit in comfortable silence for a little while as the familiar sound of a 90s laugh-track sitcom fills the room and Penelope eats her dinner.

"You need another hug?" Emily asks once she's finished her food and is inching closer on the sofa, and Penelope might be delusional but she swears she sees an inkling of hope on her face, so she doesn't hesitate in nodding.

Emily beams and pulls her closer, arranging them until they're lying horizontally on the sofa, comfortably tangled up in one another, idly watching the TV while they enjoy the comfort of one another's company.

"Pen?" Emily whispers, after a good couple of episodes; after most of the tealights Penelope had lit earlier have burned themselves out. "You know I love you right?"

There's something in her voice that makes Penelope feel brave. "Yeah," she whispers back, burying even closer into her side. "I love you, too, Emily. More than you know."

The last four words are uttered with a weight the fragile air in the room can't hold, and they crash back down between them, making Emily shift to look at her properly. Her face is a myriad of earnest emotions, and Penelope can't look away.

"When I say I love you," Emily says, nerves and anticipation and hope in the whisper of her voice, "I mean it. I don't— I don't love you like a friend, Penelope. I love you more than that."

Penelope stares at her, her heart pounding in her chest as she looks at the woman lying next to her, anxious, hopeful features illuminated by soft candlelight.

"I love you more than that, too."

Emily's nervous features smooth into something warm and eager and happy. "You do?"

Penelope nods, and she's sure her face holds a similar expression. "I do."

"Can I kiss you?" Emily whispers, lifting her hand to rest in Penelope's blond, tangled hair.

"Please," she whispers back, and not a second later she's being kissed like she's never been kissed before; like the ocean's dried up and she's the last gulp of water to be found; like all the world's oxygen's disappeared, and she's the only gasp of fresh air left behind. She's kissed like she is Penelope Garcia and that is enough for Emily Prentiss, she's kissed like she doesn't need anything else but to exist in this moment, right here, right now.

She doesn't want it to end, but when it does, when they've pulled away and their faces are inches apart and they're breathing heavily, when she looks into Emily's eyes and sees everything she's always wanted to find in them, she's glad it did, because the first kiss ending means that they can do it again.

Yes, I'm gonna keep writing that Penelope is very invested in Danish culture okay, it's my fav headcanon, leave me alone. I hope you liked this one! <3

taglist: @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @temily @enbyspencer @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @reidology @spencerspecifics @hotchedyke @marsjareau @oliverbrnch @physics-magic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @reidreids @sapphic-stress @wifeyprentiss @cmily @notevanbuckley (add yourself to my taglist here!)

[hongnanglen-arina]

ASMR | Kwon Soonyoung/Hoshi

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Hoshi x fem reader

Warnings: sexual content

Words: 3.6k

A/N: Hi there! Before my angsty Shua fic will drop, have this one first hehe. As always, English isn’t my first language so excuse my grammar ♡

⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

Your ASMR blog was well known. It was your hobby.

At least twice a week there was an update for your followers.

If people were asked about ASMR, they would think of mukbang first, right?

But your blog offered a different kind of ASMR.

No one knew who you were in reality except your closest friends. And of course, your boyfriend.

There was never a video. Just sound. Of you having fun.

Getting out of the shower, all nice and clean was the best feeling. Or was it to reach your orgasm after a long denial? You stopped midway to your bedroom, coke in one hand as you cocked your head to the side, not sure which one was better. There were often such dialogues going on in your head. It just showed you how crazy your mind was. Not only did you look sweet and innocent to everyone who didn’t know you and saw you on the street but deep inside you were a kinky little vixen which your friends and boyfriend knew.

You took a big gulp of your drink and hummed happily. Your boyfriend should arrive at any minute. Today was another special schedule for your blog. 

When you sat down in front of your laptop, you opened your blog. After stating it, you’ve gotten a lot of followers. Some even called themselves fans. It always made you giggle. How could anyone be a fan of just a voice? Because no one had ever seen your face nor real name on the internet. For you it was funny especially reading that they used your audio recordings for other purposes. Dirty purposes.

You loved to scroll through the comment section of your blog. Reading all those filthy confessions often turned you on for another recording. Also it gave you a boost in confidence.

Speaking of your recordings. The audio files that you uploaded on your site were recordings of you pleasuring yourself. Moaning into the microphone or cursing how good it felt. There were never names, long dialogues or any other interactions with the people you uploaded it for.

Since you’ve started, you had a total of 86 files online and over 40 saved on your hard drive that you still had to edit. Why you were doing it? Maybe for the kick. The fact to know that people would hear how you were climbing up the ladder to your orgasm really heightened the pleasure. And it satisfied you a lot, every time you read the comments cheering you on.

The day you uploaded a file of you and your boyfriend having sex, your blog nearly exploded. The reason why he was included was because he just lost a bet at a party with your friends. Everyone was already drunk when a table tennis session began and Soonyoung was more than sure to win against Jun. If Jun had lost, he had to run down the street in the middle of the night, naked and meowing loudly. But as much as you would have loved to see that happening, your boyfriend Soonyoung lost, making him automatically the next special surprise on your blog. 

Yes, your best friends knew about your hobby. Some had listened to your recordings and at the beginning your friendship was a little strange. Especially with Minghao, who was forced to listen when his roommate started one of the files. He always avoided eye contact with you but when you got together with Soonyoung, it slowly became better. And now, almost a year later, they all had gotten used to it and even made fun about your blog from time to time or teased you. But better like this than being confronted with a shy and awkward Minghao again.

Yesterday you announced the special surprise what you were going to record today and promised the file to be up by next sunday. And as always with your couple recordings, the comment section went wild. Some of them gave Soonyoung the nickname ‘tiger’ because sometimes he would make similar noises all of a sudden. He gave that nickname his approval and you knew how much he loved it as he called himself like that ever since.

You giggled at the comments while you were waiting for your boyfriend to arrive.

- The return of the tiger! Raise your hands y’all!!

- He should be in it more often. God he sounds so fucking hot!

- Hearing you two together is so filthy. I love it!!

- Can he tease you until you are a mess again and beg?

- Can’t wait for his raspy rawwwwrrrs hehe (;

- How about you edge him this time??? Pretty please?

Hearing the keys, you quickly got up and ran towards the door to see Soonyoung standing there dressed in all black, pushing his shoes to the side with one foot and taking off his black snapback. Biting your lower lip, you hissed softly, locking eyes with him.

“Okay, damn.. you look hot.”

“When don’t I?”

You snorted playfully but made your way closer to him anyways, immediately being pulled in a deep kiss. One hand held you close against his chest while the other squeezed your ass, you felt him smirk against your lips. “Hope my little kitten is ready for her tiger.” The grip on his leather jacket tightened when his teeth grazed your neck, sucking your sensitive spot just below your ear. “Always,” you sighted with closed eyes.

“Good.” He pulled back, licking his lips as he took your hand and led you to the bedroom.

Following him, he made you sit on the bed as he opened the recording program on your laptop. In the past, he often made it for you so he knew where to click. Adjusting the microphone beside the bed, he made sure that it was working before joining you.

You saw the red light on your microphone and smiled at him approvingly, giving him a quick kiss as a reward. When you are about to pull away, he grabbed your hip and held you in place, connecting your lips with his again. Effortless his tongue slipped past through your teeth as you gasped, his hand massaging your exposed thigh.

Actually, your plan was to tease him first and then to make him lose his mind while he’s tied up on your bed but the way your boyfriend was kissing you right now made you weak and unable to stick to your previous plan. His musky perfume filled your senses, combined with his tongue dancing with yours, it made you breathless. He was needy and so were you.

Pushing him back against the headboard, he looked at you, mouth open and chest heaving slightly, eyes hooded. You smiled and removed the leather jacket and black turtle neck, leaving his dark hair messy and in this very moment he looked adorable to you if it wasn’t for his eyes which gave you a lustful gaze. Leaving your eyes roam over his exposed chest and abs, you asked yourself how you had survived all those years without your boyfriend.

You were on your knees in front of him, dressed in a short silky negligee. Soonyoung groaned at the sight of you. “Help me out of my pants and sit on my lap, baby.” Your eyes widened and you automatically covered his lips with your hand but he only lifted one eye brow and shrugged. Normally you wouldn’t give long commands like this but that meant you may have to cut it out of the recording later. Or not. Doing what you were told, your fingers opened his denim jeans and pulled them off his legs.

A shuffling of the blankets can be heard and you sat down on his lap, your hands on his shoulders as you sink down, feeling his warmth against your core. You felt the urge to move but you wanted to get your approval first. Normally you were more the submissive type of girl in the relationship with Soonyoung but once in a while he would gave you the control. Today didn’t seem like this when his hands were back on your hips, making you move back and forth on him.

“O-ohh..” was all you said, staggered and weak, feeling his clothed cock rub against the thin fabrics of your already wet panties. Continuing on moving on him, you kept eye contact with your boyfriend whose lifted one hand to brush lovingly over your cheek, mouthing ‘i love you’. You smiled and silently said it back before leaning in to kiss him again. 

One thing you loved a lot during foreplay was when Soonyoung massaged your ass. How he roughly kneaded the flesh and spread the cheeks, causing your folds to spread as well. And the feeling of them being slick and sticky while he would do that, turned you on. On top of that you were sitting on his lap at the moment, riding him, knowing too well that with each passing second, your juice would soak his underwear more and more. 

Holding your face in place, his kisses went from the corner of your mouth to your blushed cheek, further to your earlobe and lower to your neck, leaving open mouthed kisses everywhere his mouth would reach, sometimes sucking softly at the spots he knew you liked, resulting him to receive moans from his girlfriend. He wanted your reactions to be louder. Not only for the recording but also for himself. He just needed the confirmation that he was doing the right thing. While Soonyoung bit down on your shoulder, his hand left your face and before you could ask, his thumb hook under the strap of your negligee, letting it slid down your arm and exposing your breast. He placed his hand on your mound and started kneading it.

Gasping, your hands found his hair and while your hips were still rocking back and forth on him, you tugged at his strands, causing him to let out a low groan. You felt his fingertips pinch your nipple and you arched your back, asking for more as your chest pushed into his hand. Soonyoung smirked against your collarbone and without a warning, he smacked your ass, filling the room with a loud sound and followed by your surprised yelp.

You had to stop yourself from saying your boyfriend’s name out loud. Soonyoung noticed it and chuckled before grabbing the hem of your soft gown and pulling it over your head. The moment the cold room temperature made contact with your heated body, a cold shiver ran down your spine and Soonyoung watched how your nipples slowly hardened at the cold air. Carefully taking one of your arms, he kissed over your goosebumps, his eyes telling you that you won’t feel cold much longer and you gave him a nod.

He motioned you to get up so that you two could remove the last piece of clothes on your bodies. Once it was done, you got a condom from the night stand but when you started to rip it open, you heard your boyfriend make a disapproving noise. “Uh uh….” pointing at his lap, he wanted you to sit down again. Without aligning himself, you got into your previous position and moved your hips again but now the feeling was more intense without the fabrics in the way. Letting your wet folds spread your juice along his erect cock felt amazing. 

Faint curses left both of your lips as his grip on your ass tighten, spreading your cheeks again and with every motion, you felt your clit rub delicately against his pelvis. While your body shivered with pleasure, Soonyoung enjoyed the view you were offering his dark eyes. He could watch you like this all the time and he really loved the soft mewls you made for him.

Whenever he was alone at his home and felt horny, he would open your blog on his phone and listen to one of your recordings as he would pump himself. He saved two of you getting off with a vibrator. Those recordings were gold in his opinion because the microphone seemed right beside your mouth so the sound from the toy wasn’t too loud and he could enjoy your moans to the fullest. Although those recordings would often be very short because of course you knew the best where to stimulate to get off. And if you reached your orgasm fast, he knew how horny you were since you were bad in edging yourself. You were too weak. Whenever you wanted something, you wanted it as soon as possible. The only person who could tease you and still hear a sincere ‘I love you’ afterwards was him. Only him. 

With another smack on your ass, his hands found their way to your chest, now massaging your breasts with both hands and connecting your mouthes again. Taking your lower lip between his teeth, he groaned lowly, heightening your arousal even more. 

“Ahh… baby….” you whined as you wanted more, still thinking of the condom beside your leg that was halfway ripped open. Soonyoung didn’t have to ask because he knew exactly what you wanted. Even though he wanted to tease you more, he felt a little impatient himself so he took the foil package and ripped it open. 

Hearing it, you automatically stopped and lifted yourself so he could put the condom on. Seeing him do that, your mouth watered. You felt thankful that Soonyoung chose not to tease you today. You wanted to feel the delicious stretch and now you could finally get it. 

“Get it, kitten.” He licked his lip while pumping himself, waiting for you to move and sink down on him. You didn’t need another word from him as you quickly moved and shuddered when the tip of his cock nudged your entrance, holding tightly onto his shoulders. You swallowed thickly before moving a little lower, feeling the head push in and out a little. It was like an unspoken ritual between the two of you. A little taste of what was to come. After a couple of seconds, you finally sank down on him with a high pitched gasp. Soonyoung let his head rest on the headboard, his neck on full display for you as you saw his adam’s apple bob up and down. He tried his best to suppress his swearings. No matter how often you two fucked each other, he would never get enough of this feeling. The feeling of your bodies being intertwined. Connected in the best way possible. 

He couldn’t explain how you would still be this tight even after your longest session of 3 hours a year ago. Long teasing, long edging, the roles switched several times, there was the use of different toys, even a bigger dildo than his size but your walls would still swallow his cock the same way it did when you two had your first time. 

After adjusting to him, you started riding him, switching from jumping up and down and rocking back and forth whenever your thighs started to burn. You put your hands on his chest and slowly scratched over it with your fingernails, causing him to snap his head and look at you with such a dark expression that you could have come right then and there. His eyes were half covered with his bangs as his eyes traveled lower to your breasts, leaning forward to take one of your nipples in his mouth and immediately sucking at it harshly, making you moan and wrapping your arms around his head. His other hand was pinching your other nipple and you had a difficult time to keep your rhythm. 

You felt your sensitive nub rub against Soonyoung’s pelvis and the familiar fire became stronger. “F-fuck… just like that.” You couldn’t recognize your own voice. It was much higher. And then again, originally you wanted to have control today. You would agree instantly if anyone would ask you if you were sex addicted. Because sex with Soonyoung was the best you’ve ever had. He always made sure that you felt the same pleasure as him. That you would come the same amount as him or even more often. He wasn’t selfish at all and loved to make you feel good.

He bit down on your mound, making you whine surprised when suddenly he flipped you over so he was now hovering over you, smirking down. His lustful gaze made you instinctually press your thighs together to feel some friction but you couldn’t since his legs were between them. Carefully taking your hands and placing them above your head, he held them secure with one arm as he slowly pushed inside of you again. Your moans were swallowed in a heated kiss, Soonyoung didn’t waste any time because he instantly moved in and out if you, giving the penetration you needed and could never do the same when you were on top. It was less friction on your clit but when he wanted, he would hit that specific spot deep within that made you see stars. But for that, he had to thrust upwards a little.

The room was filled with noises of skin smacking against skin, your whines and his low moans. Also the bed which was slightly squeaking with every hard thrust. His cock slid in and out of your warm walls like the missing piece of a jigsaw. He fit perfectly and knew how to make you lose your mind. 2 years ago he told you that he could make you come without moving inside of you and he succeeded. First you were laughing over his words but when he continued to whisper filthy things in your ear, you got more and more aroused until you came with a high pitched scream of his name. He owned such power over you.

The moment you heard him growl like a tiger, you felt his teeth sink down on your neck and with a broken yelp, you arched your back, causing him to hit your g-spot with his next thrust and you choked on your own spit, not knowing if you wanted to get away or more of it. It felt too much to handle but at the same time you wanted more. His tongue licked over the bite mark, soothing the sting before sucking at another spot. Your body was covered in a thin layer of sweat and so was his. Soonyoung’s hips kept snapping against you, resulting in your moans rising in pitch. “You… feel so good…” he breathed hotly against your skin as he thrusted upwards, now without a break, over and over. 

You gasped loudly and absentmindedly fought against his grip on your wrists, feeling the tension getting stronger. Your orgasm was close. Squeezing your eyes shut, your thighs started to shake while your boyfriend still fucked you hard and deep, chasing his own release. The way your walls literally sucked in his cock and how your legs were trembling made Soonyoung more than proud. That was his girl. His pretty little vixen. 

Getting onto his knees, he grabbed your hips and fucked you in such a force, you had to silence your screams against the back of your hand which was secured over your mouth, your knuckles turning white as your other hand nearly ripped your sheets. Right before Soonyoung came, he licked his thumb and placed it on your clit, giving you the final stimulation before you two came almost at the same time, your walls milking him relentlessly. He felt how more and more cum filled the condom he was wearing, his abs twitching with every squirt. 

Your legs couldn’t stop shaking even when Soonyoung slowed down his movements until he came to a halt. You both tried to catch your breaths, unable to speak. Neither of you moved for a while until he carefully pulled out of you, rubbing soothing circles over your hip. A soft shine left your lips when you felt empty again. 

Your boyfriend rolled on his back beside you, a satisfied expression on his face. It took you a moment until your breathing was almost normal again and you felt the black haired boy next to you shift, making you open your eyes and look at him. He softly covered your arm with kisses until he reached your shoulder and nuzzled his face cutely against it like a cat. “It was amazing. It always is with you.”

Making a kissing face, he understood and gave you one. When your lips separated, your two smiled at each other. You loved him with every fibre in your body. The sweaty hair that was sticking at his face didn’t make him less attractive, instead it made Soonyoung even sexier. 

Shaking you out of your lovey-dovey thoughts, he cocked his head to the microphone and you made an understanding noise. Slowly getting up as your legs and core were still sore.

You turned off the recording program and watched how the red light slowly faded. Soonyoung was propped on his elbows, his eyes on his softening cock. “You told me before that it’s addictive to update your blog and I have to agree. It’s like having sex in public but at the same time, it isn’t. Although….” He poked his cock, his finger touching the white fluid outside and inside the condom. “I wouldn’t mind, trying that out one day.” He looked at your back when you turned around to face him, a mischievous smile on your still swollen lips. “Me neither.”

Soonyoung clicked his tongue and winked at you, making you giggle. “Next time?”

[kcarreras]

Underneath Tangerine Skies

Fandom: Outer Banks Pairing: JJ Maybank & Kiara Carerra Summary: Set after 2x10: JJ & Kie discuss the events of that day on the ship which leads to some emotional chat which naturally leads to them making out against a tree… you’re welcome.

The Pogues never had any real idea of the exact time whilst they were on the island, for obvious reasons, but on this occasion - with the sun sitting low in the sky, casting pink and orange hues out across the water - Kie’s best guess was that it was early evening. The temperature had begun to drop, humidity dissipating a little, making it easier to breathe.

She had been traipsing around the island for a while now, looking for JJ, when she cast her eyes up to the grassy embankment lined sporadically with trees ahead of her, where the solid ground of the island met the white sandy beach.

“Thank god,” she sighed in relief at the sight of him sitting at the foot of one of the bigger trees. His back was against the trunk, his knees bent and forearms resting on them, looking out across the water.

“JJ!” she called as she made her way over to him and up the sandy slope, but he didn’t seem to hear her over the sound of the lapping waves.

The waves against the shore was a sound they all seemed to find comforting - something familiar to remind them of their real island home - but JJ seemed to seek it out more often than the rest of them.

“Hellooo,” she sing-songed and JJ turned in her direction, a smile spreading out across his features as he noticed her approaching. Kie’s arms were held out either side of her to keep her balance, eyes focused on her feet as she sunk slightly into the soft sand of the slope with each step.

“What are you doing out here on your own?” Kie asked, trying desperately not to sound like an overprotective mother.

“Everyone’s looking for you. We were worried you’d been eaten by your ‘nemesis’”.

JJ raised an eyebrow, clearly confused.

“The ‘Killer Island Lizard’, who else?” Kie clarified with a roll of her eyes as she dropped down next to him with a knowing grin, pulling her knees up to her chest to mirror his position as she dusted the sand from her hands.

On their second night on the island, JJ woke everyone up, jumping around and hollering in the dark about some huge lizard-like creature that had apparently crawled into their shelter. By the time they had fumbled around in a panic in the pitch black looking for one of the last remaining flare guns from the raft to use as a light, it had ‘disappeared’.

Once John B had swiftly yet gently smacked him round the back of the head for scaring the shit out of them all in the middle of the night, they tried to explain that it was probably nothing - just a figment of his imagination or a too-real nightmare. But JJ being JJ, he refused to accept all their rational responses. He’d of course began by naming it the most basic yet ridiculous name he could think of - hence the Killer Island Lizard - and had insisted that he sit up through the night and keep watch, determined to prove it was real. Every morning since, though, the Pogues had woken up to JJ passed out asleep at his “post” with his Swiss army knife still in-hand and - unsurprisingly - no evidence. It had kind of become a running joke.

“You know, you guys can laugh all you want, but I’ve seen it, with my own two eyes,” he began, his middle and index finger forming a ‘V’ as he gestured from his eyes to Kie’s. “All scale-y and fang-y and shit,” he finished with a dramatic shudder.

“Right,” Kie drawled with a roll of her eyes, knocking her shoulder into his.

“I’m just sayin’, don’t come crying to me when this little island retreat of ours turns into a low-budget remake of Planet of the Dinosaurs.”

“Planet of the Dinosaurs? Okay, first of all JJ, that’s not even a thing,” Kie replied, her signature ‘where did I even find these boys’ expression on her face, and JJ shrugged. “Second of all, if we have to compare your ridiculous lizard scenario to a movie, it’d be more like Jurassic Park.”

“Whatever,” he said, unbothered by her correction. “Doesn’t matter anyway, ‘cause luckily for you, I owe you one. Therefore, I promise to rescue you first before I come back for the others.” He proudly assured her, as if she needed it.

“Of course… and not that I’m complaining or anything, but what exactly have I done to deserve the top spot on JJ Maybank’s rescue list?” Kie asked, feigning flattery with a hand over her chest.

“I don’t know if you remember, Kie, but you jumped off a freakin’ cargo ship into the middle of the ocean to save my ass. I think you earned the top spot,” he replied.

“Well what kinda Pogue would I be if I’d just let your ass drown like that? Especially since you took the blunt end of that machete to the head defending me,” she said, her tone light. She was still smiling, but JJ saw something akin to guilt flash across her eyes as she spoke.

“Oh, so it was all to do with you maintaining your pogue rep, and nothing to do with how miserable you’d be without me around?” he asked, knocking her knee with his.

Kie’s smile faltered at the words “without me around”, and her gaze dropped from his face to her hands, which were hugging her knees as she fidgeted with her rings. She lifted her eyes for a second, looking out to the ocean ahead of them, vast and endless, and quickly blinked in an attempt to suppress the tears that stung at the corner of her eyes.

She took a deep breath, composing herself before speaking again.

“C’mon, we better get going before everyone thinks we really have been eaten by your stupid killer-lizard,” she said with a half-hearted laugh as she moved to her feet.

She had barely left the sand when JJ’s hand reached up and took a gentle hold of her wrist, causing her to land back down on the same spot with a soft thud.

“Hey, you alright?” he asked, tipping his head forward to try and meet her eyes, but she was looking straight down into her lap.

“Kie, look at me for a second, would you?” he said, reaching across the short distance between them to tilt her chin up until her eyes met his.

She wasn’t crying, but her eyes were glassy and it looked like tears were threatening to spill. With one blink, one fell from each eye, running down her cheeks until she reached up and swiped her two hands across her face, capturing them.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and it sounded so sincere that she was sure her heart actually cracked open a little.

“Nothing, it’s stupid,” she said, casting her eyes upwards to the sky, but she felt JJ’s gaze stay on her. “It’s just, we’ve been here, what? Like a week? And we still haven’t talked about it.”

“Talked about what?” he asked.

“About the ship, JJ. You almost died,” she said, as if he somehow wasn’t already aware.

“Yeah, I know, Kie, I was there,” he said with a humourless chuckle.

“No, JJ. You don’t get it,” she said, taking hold of one of his hands in hers. His eyes dropped down for a second in surprise to look, and her knuckles were pale with the pressure of her grip.

“When I looked over the side of that ship and you were face-down in the water, every instinct in my body told me to jump. So I did, without a second thought.” Kie said, her voice beginning to sound almost panicked, as if she was reliving it as she spoke.

“Kie, it’s okay. You don’t have to-” he tried to interrupt, but she had started and now she couldn’t stop.

“I held you up, and I tried not to panic, and I treaded that water until I felt like my lungs were going to burst.”

She was breathless, her words rushed, and JJ squeezed her hand that was still holding his.

“I don’t know how I did it, Jage. John B and Pope asked me how we didn’t go under, and I don’t know the answer. All I know is that it was never an option for me not to at least try. I mean, I can’t even imagine-”

“Hey, it’s okay.” JJ comforted her, pulling her into his side with the hand they had been holding. He sat back against the trunk of the tree, and she settled into the space beside him, her head resting where his chest met his shoulder. His arm went around her waist to hold her in place, and squeezed gently.

“You don’t have to imagine anything, alright? I’m here, you’re here, everyone’s good, Kie.”

Her hands gripped at the material of his tank, eyes closed as she tried to ground herself and slow her breath. After a few seconds, she felt the side of his head gently rest on the top of hers.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, until she felt JJ shift beside her. He lifted his head and turned at the waist until his body was facing hers.

“You know, when we were on the deck, and that guy was swinging the machete around?” he began, his eyes dropping to look straight down into Kie’s, and she nodded, staring back up at him. “He was behind you, and all I knew in that moment as I was running towards him was that I didn’t care what happened to me, as long as you were okay.”

“Jay-,” Ki tried to say, but he continued anyway.

“It was never an option for me not to try, either… because God know’s, Kie, I can’t imagine-”

Before she had time to talk herself out of it, she leaned up, her hand still gripping the front of his tank as she pulled him down toward her. Her mouth collided with his, then she pushed upward, JJ’s back pressing against the tree trunk behind them. They were still for a second, their lips pressed together, eyes closed and hearts pounding in sync against each other’s chests. Almost instantly, JJ’s hands came up to take hold of her face and then they were honest to God kissing.

It could have been seconds or minutes or hours, who knows, but suddenly she didn’t feel close enough and Kie turned herself more toward him, pushing up onto her knees before straddling his lap. They eventually broke apart, out of breath and eyes bright. Kie’s hands were knotted in the front of his shirt, and JJ’s had found their way to her hips. Her forehead was resting against his, both their breathing still laboured.

“This is a bad idea, right?” he asked, eyes still closed and his mouth inches from hers.

“For sure. Maybe the worst idea either of us has ever had,” Kie replied, but her mouth fell forward to meet his again, and she felt him tighten his grip on her hips before sliding his hands up her back beneath her shirt.

“Do you- wanna- stop?” he hesitantly questioned between kisses, and she shook her head silently, her mouth still against his as she rolled her hips. His mouth fell open for a second, a startled groan escaping, and Kie couldn’t help but pull away to smile against his mouth. In response, one of his hands went straight to the back of her head, tangling in her hair as he pulled her mouth back to meet his, kissing her deeper before tugging on her bottom lip with his teeth. This time it was Kie that moaned into JJ’s mouth, and he grinned as her hand raked it’s way through his hair, pulling on it until he released her lip with a groan.

“Up,” she said, gesturing for him to raise his arms with a glassy-eyed smile. He did, and she took hold of the bottom of his tank and pulled it up over his head, throwing it down on the sand beside them. They were kissing again instantly, his hands squeezing her hips as her hands roamed over his bare chest, nails dragging and causing his skin to prickle with goosebumps. She smiled against his mouth, and he pulled back, his head resting against the tree as his hands came to rest on the smooth expanse of her thighs as she sat back on his lap.

“Fairs, fair,” he said, his eyes slowly dropping from her eyes to her chest and back again.

Kie rolled her eyes and smirked, crossing her arms over her stomach and pulling her shirt over her head, tossing it down on top of JJ’s. He smiled wide, eyes ablaze and biting his lip as he slid his hands up her thighs and back to her hips, pulling her forward so they were flush against each other.

She tried to ignore the eruption of goosebumps across her skin at the forefulness of the motion as he ran his fingers up and down the bare skin of her waist, setting her insides alight, and deflected with a question.

“You’ve seen me in a bikini a million times, what’s the big deal?” she asked, arms hooked loosely around his neck, fingers playing mindlessly with the ends of his messy hair.

“When a girl looks as hot as you in a bikini, it’s a big deal every time you see it,” he replied, leaning forward to catch her lips again but she leaned back, throwing a hand up covering his mouth, and he looked at her confused.

“Just any girl in a bikini, or…?” she asked with an exaggerated, quizzical look and he swatted her hand away pulling her to him by her wrist with a roll of his eyes, causing Kie to pull her bottom lip between her teeth to contain a laugh.

“Just you, dumbass. Now stop fishing for compliments and c’mere…” he said as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, all traces of her smile disappearing as her eyes fell closed at the sensation of his mouth against her skin. Her hips began moving against him again, and she wasn’t even aware she was doing it until his name started to fall from her mouth in breathy whispers. This only spurred JJ on, and he began pulling her hips downwards as she rolled them, increasing the pressure.

“Fuck,” she groaned, a little louder than she intended, when they hit a particularly good rhythm.

JJ had moved to the other side of her neck now, and Kie had tilted her head back to allow him more access. Her bottom lip was between her teeth in an attempt to stop any more outbursts that might get them caught.

JJ made his way back up her neck, along her jaw and to her lips, her name rolling off his tongue and into her mouth like a prayer.

Her hands, which were back in his hair at this point, pulled on a handful and he broke away from her breathless, eyes falling closed for a second before his head came to rest against the tree again.

He watched as her hands went behind her back to remove her bikini top, and he groaned, cursing under his breath and squeezing his eyes shut as he brought his hands up to stop her.

“Whoa there, hold up,” he breathed.

“Wha- what’s wrong?” Kie asked breathlessly, confusion clouding her flushed face as she tried to catch her breath, her hand running through her long, dark hair.

“Nothing. It’s just…” he said, leaning forward and looking around in every direction, just to make sure no one had wandered nearby whilst they were… distracted.

“Jay, if you wanna stop, we can stop…” she said, suddenly feeling a little on display straddled across him, inches from his face and minus half their combined clothing.

“Are you kidding?” he said with a laugh, his eyebrows raised incredulously. “Fuck no, I don’t wanna stop. It’s just, we’re gonna have to stop eventually because we can’t… y’know, here…” he said, making all sorts of expressions and gestures to get his point across. Kie hummed, one eyebrow raised as she deliberately kept her face dead-pan, enjoying watching him squirm.  

“…not that I’m assuming that this was going to lead to that, but - shit. You know what I mean, right? Please tell me you know what I mean,” and a smile broke out across Kie’s face as her head fell forward with a laugh, forehead coming to rest on his gently for a second before sitting back to look at him.

“Oh, I’m glad you’re finding this so funny.” JJ said, his head falling back against the tree, eyes closed and hands dragging down his face.

“I’m sorry,” she started, pressing a hand affectionately to his chest, still laughing. “I just never imagined this scenario playing out with you being the sensible one.”

JJ lifted his head from against the tree, opening one eye curiously.

“But you have imagined it?” He replied with a grin that made him look far too pleased with himself, and Kie gave a gentle push at his chest with a light-hearted roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, well, here I am, being sensible,” he groaned, sitting up straighter against the tree. “Excellent timing as always, JJ,” he muttered under his breath to himself.

“Anyway, the point is, if you do that,” he said, gesturing to the bikini top she had been about to remove, “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna have a problem that’s a little difficult to solve with 5 other people around 24/7.”

“My bad,” she conceded, holding her hands up in surrender before leaning forward to press a kiss to his mouth. She settled back in his lap, a little further down his legs to allow him some space to… regroup. She dropped her hands into her lap with a huff as they looked at each other.

“Sooo,” she said, “What do we do now?”

“Excellent question, Kie. I think we start with you putting this back on,” he said, reaching for her shirt and handing it to her. “‘Cause I’m not gonna be able to stand up until you do.”

She laughed with a shake of her head, pulling her top back on and holding her arms out in a “tah-dah” like gesture.

“Better?” she asked, removing herself from his lap altogether and standing with one foot either side of his legs. She extended her hands down to him to help him up.

“Much,” he groaned, taking hold of her outstretched hands, getting to his feet with a huff.

“Okay,” Kie said with a determined sigh. “I’ll go back first, you follow in a few minutes, got it?”

“Got it,” he said, scooping his tank up from the sand and shaking it off, before pulling it over his head.

Kie nodded, but as she turned to walk away, she felt him take hold of her wrist and pull.

“JJ!” she laughed as she stumbled back towards him.

He caught her from behind with his arms around her waist, and pressed kisses into her neck and shoulder, grazing the skin with his lips and teeth.

“Jay,” she protested weakly, tilting her head back and to the side to let him carry on up to the shell of her ear.

“What?” he questioned with fake innocence, his hands pulling at her hips as he pressed up behind her, and she half-laughed, half-groaned.

“You’re the one who wanted to stop,” she reminded him, and she turned in his arms until they were facing each other. Her arms were draped over his shoulders, nails scratching gently at the back of his neck.

“Yeah, well, maybe I changed my mind,” he backtracked as he turned them round, her back hitting the tree he’d been leaning against earlier. The bark dug into the exposed skin of her back and shoulders, and suddenly she was grateful just to have pressure against any part of her body.

“You’re unbelievable,” Kie said as his mouth came back down on hers. She tried to keep her lips pressed together in protest, but then his knee found it’s way between hers, pushing them apart as his thigh came to rest between her legs.

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” he quipped against her mouth with a grin, nipping at her lip for entry.

“Not gonna happen, you had your chance,” she asserted teasingly between chaste kisses, and she felt his smile widen before he pushed his leg forward and up between hers. Her mouth fell open on instinct, a moan escaping involuntarily from the back of her throat. JJ’s tongue dipped in immediately, and suddenly they were back in a frenzy of hands and tongues and laboured breaths.

By comparison, JJ kept the movement of his leg that was still between hers steady and slow, but before long Kie’s hips were moving erratically on their own against him.

“JJ, fuck,” she groaned into his mouth, her teeth coming down around his bottom lip and he hummed in agreement.

His hands were roaming the bare skin under her shirt again, and he wished more than anything he hadn’t told her to put it back on.

He dropped a hand to her hip, then carried on down the smooth, bare skin of her thigh until he reached the back of her knee. She whimpered as he hiked it up to rest against his waist and her head fell back against the tree as the pressure he was applying between her legs hit a new spot.

“Oh my god, Jay - fuck, that feels so good,” she was practically panting, eyes squeezed shut and her grip digging into his shoulders to hold herself upright.

JJ knew he was asking for trouble with this, there was no way they could risk taking it as far as they both clearly wanted to, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop when she was begging him not to.

“Please don’t stop, JJ, please,” she pleaded breathlessly against his mouth, but to be honest she was doing most of the work, he was just along for the ride. Nevertheless, he responded by kissing her deeper, his grip on her solid and unfaltering, until…

“JJ! Kie!” John B’s voice called from down the beach, and JJ all but dropped her on her ass.

“Shit,” he mumbled under his breath, arm swooping to catch her as her feet hit the ground.

“What do we do? What do we say?” he asked in a harsh whisper.

“Just - just say we got lost?” Kie suggested, still breathless and bracing herself against the tree, with an enthusiastic nod of her head.

“Lost?” he repeated, “A half mile along the beach in a straight line?!” He whisper-shouted in response.

“Hey, don’t take it out on me!” she replied, also in a shouted whisper. “I was ready to leave five whole minutes ago, until you pulled me back,”

“Yeah, for the best 5 minutes of your life,” he countered and Kie scoffed. “You’re welcome, by the way,” he muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

Kie shot him an irritated glare before responding in an even lower tone as John B got closer.

“Well, since you’re clearly a man of so many talents, why don’t you think of an excuse for what we’re doing out here on our own?”

“JJ! Kie! Please tell me you guys are alive?” John B’s voice came again, and JJ cast his gaze upwards for a second, muttering curses under his breath, until he spotted something. His eyes dropped back to meet Kie’s with a grin.

“What?” she mouthed to him with a shrug, too scared to use actual words in case John B rumbled them.

JJ began scaling the tree they’d been sitting under, and when Kie looked up, she saw it too.

Mangos.

JJ began plucking them from the branches and tossing them down one at a time to Kie.

“Over here, bro!” JJ called out to John B, and a minute or so later he appeared.

“Where the hell have you guys been?” he asked, as JJ clambered back down from the tree.

He turned to Kie, throwing his arms up. “Kie, you left ages ago.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I couldn’t find dumbass here,” she explained, lazily throwing an arm in JJ’s direction, who was currently too busy trying to balance an obscene amount of mangos in his arms to acknowledge the insult.

“Then on the way back we saw the tree, so we thought we’d just collect some fruit for everyone.”

John B looked at her sceptically.

“Look, John B, it’s no big deal. We’re fine. Let’s just get these back to camp,” she said, gesturing to the remaining mangos scattered across the grassy embankment.

“Sure, okay. Whatever,” John B replied, holding his hands up in defeat before crouching down to collect the fruit.

The three of them made their way back to camp in comfortable conversation, and were greeted by a lot of sarcastic “oh, so they are alive” (Sarah) and “we thought you guys had decided just to swim back to the mainland” (Pope) comments directed at their unexplained absence from the group. They soon became distracted once they noticed the fruit, and before long their escapade was forgotten by the rest of the group and no one questioned it further.

As they all sat round the fire later that night having dinner (fish cooked on a stick over the fire, the usual), Kie and JJ sat together like always, only now they seemed hyper aware of each other. Everytime their knees brushed, or their shoulders bumped, they couldn’t help but steal a glance at each other.

Once everyone had settled under the make-shift shelter at the end of the night, they lay in silence, waiting for the rest to fall asleep before JJ rolled over and wrapped an arm around Kie’s waist, pulling her flush against him and burying his face in her neck.

[blackandgoldandeverythingnice]

i don’t remember me (before you) - j. debrusk [part ii]

Pairing: Jake DeBrusk x female!OC

Summary: Could it be more cliche than falling in love with your neighbor when she wasn’t exactly available? What happens when getting her to fall in love with you isn’t even the hard part?

Word Count: 9,077

A/N: so, part ii - maybe one day i’ll get good at summaries and update them accordingly but honestly, no promises. this one has a LOT of warnings and i’ll adore any and all feedback. 

Warnings: adult themes, alcohol consumption, abuse [very much the abuse in this part so please be warned], shitty boyfriend/ex-boyfriend, swearing...I think that’s it

part ii

“I have travelled many miles, I don't wanna walk no more Every road and every highway led me right back to your door” -lord huron

Jake was pretty sure he’d never seen Alina nervous before. Normally she was the quintessential Russian: serious, blank face that belied nothing about how she was feeling. But right now she was tapping her foot nervously and gnawing on her bottom lip. Her hair was up in a little half ponytail thing and he forgot he usually only saw her in scrubs, his sweats or a mini dress for a night out. This version of Alina was softer, not as sexy as ‘club Alina’ but he thought he might like it better. She had on a pair of ripped jeans with a loose cardigan buttoned up, cutting in a low v on her chest. They didn’t speak much in the car ride over but Jake kept a hand on her knee, rubbing at the bare skin he could get to.

When she’d showed up at his apartment after getting ready, she shoved a bottle of wine into his hand and anxiously asked if he thought it would be good enough. Jake had managed to make her laugh when he’d snorted at her, asking how it was she thought he would know what wine was good or not.

That same bottle was now being grasped tightly in one hand, her other squeezing at his thigh tightly.

“Ease up, Leenie – you’re gonna leave a mark.” He teased, tapping her hand softly.

“Oh! Sorry, Jed.” But she didn’t loosen her grip much and he just let her keep clinging to him. He realized while she was usually a blank face to everyone around her, lately – more often than not – she was completely and purely herself around him. It’s like a wall that had been blocking back emotions before had come down and now everything she thought played clearly on her face for him to see. But only for him.

It wasn’t a long ride to get to Charlie’s and when they pulled up, Jake went to climb out of the car but realized that Alina was still sitting quietly in the back seat.

“Maybe you should just go without me. I can have him take me back home.” She nodded at the driver who was frowning and looked like he was a minute away from yelling at them to get in or out.

“Nope.” Jake responded, reaching into the car and physically dragging her out. She stumbled slightly as she hit the curb and he managed to shut the door to the car mere seconds before the driver pulled away.

“Jake…” she practically whined. “They don’t like me. I should just go, you’ll have a better time without me.”

“Leenie, if you don’t go, I’m sure as hell not going. I spend all my time with these idiots, I want to be wherever you are.” The hesitance remained on her face and he stepped closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “If you really don’t want to go, we’ll go home. Or out to dinner. Whatever you want. Ride or die.”

That earned him a giggle. “Ride or die?”  

“I’m your ride or die, whatever you want, we’ll do.” He nodded seriously until she finally gave him a smile, her facing turning determined.

“Okay. We’ll go. But if they’re not nice to you, I’m gonna let ‘em have it.” 

“I expect nothing less.” He teased, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. Forehead kisses had become more and more frequent. As had holding hands, cuddling and the way Alina would nudge her nose into his neck, brushing her lashes against his skin. At this point, they were more affectionate than he’d been with any previous girlfriend.

It still wasn’t enough but he instinctively knew he needed to go slow, knew that he couldn’t risk pushing her into something she wasn’t ready for. Shit, he wasn’t even sure if she felt the same as he did. All he had was a ‘feeling’ that things between them were different, that they were out of the sure footing that had been their friendship and in some weird limbo zone where they were both trying to figure out what the other wanted.

Sighing to himself, he took her free hand and pulled her towards Charlie’s building. He had forgotten to ask exactly who was going to be there and now that they were in the elevator, he felt a little panicky about what they were walking into.

While he’d deny it to her, he knew Alina wasn’t his friends’ favorite. And her desire to protect him meant she overreacted to the smallest chirp that was thrown his way even when it didn’t bother him. He only hoped that tonight would go okay.

Walking into Charlie’s apartment, Jake immediately felt like this was the wrong decision. There were at least eight couples and some of the girls were looking at Alina critically, from the bottle of wine in her hand to the way she was clinging onto Jake. Looking friendly wasn’t something Alina excelled at so the stoic look that Jake knew came from a place of nervousness or shyness, instead made her look like a mega bitch.

He squeezed her hand gently and turned his face into her ear. “Smile, babe. You look entirely too Russian right now.”

Alina snorted, squeezing his hand back and relaxing slightly, smiling at him. “It’s just my face, I can’t help it.”

Jake rolled his eyes, dropping her hand and placing it on her lower back to lead her through the room. He wanted to find Charlie and, more importantly, Charlie’s girlfriend. Kiley was one of the sweetest girls he knew and had always been kind to Alina, usually the only one she’d talk to while waiting for him after games.

Walking into the kitchen, he found the hosts putting the finishing touch on plates of charcuterie. And really, that just meant they were unwrapping the clearly pre-made platters.

“So much for doing the heavy lifting,” Jake teased, bundling Kiley up into a big hug. Charlie hit him but stepped around him to pull Alina into a hug. Jake noticed her stiffen slightly but return the hug before pulling away quickly.

“Ki – you remember Alina.” Jake gestured, returning to her side and throwing an arm around her shoulders.

“Of course! Welcome.” She pulled her into a hug before accepting the offered bottle of wine. “Oh wow, this is really nice – you shouldn’t have.”

Alina flushed slightly, waving a hand dismissively. “It was always one of my favorites so I thought I’d share.”

“Well thank you.” Kiley said sincerely and Jake couldn’t help smiling at her. Charlie really had found a good one. “I say we open this in here and just save it for the two of us.”

“Great idea.” She grinned back conspiratorially. “Can I help with anything?”

“Grab a few glasses, yeah? And are you any good at opening wine?”

“Am I ever!” she responded, grabbing a wine key and getting to work on the wine she’d brought. “I used to work in my Dedushka’s restaurant, if you fucked up the bottle, you had to pay for it but you also got to drink it.”

Kiley grinned at the story, taking it at face value but Jake’s head shot up at the sound of her talking about being younger. He’d never once heard her mention anything about working in a restaurant.

“What’s a ‘dad-kush-kah’?” Charlie asked earning a little smile from Alina who promptly corrected his pronunciation.

“Grandfather.” She got a little faraway look in her eyes but quickly returned to the task at hand.

“Come on, man – come say hi to the rest of the guys.” Charlie tried to shove him back in the direction of the living room but he dug his heels in, twirling around to escape and slide next to Alina.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, leaning down so only she could hear him. “You okay? I can stay with you.”

It looked like she was thinking about it, her gray eyes searching his before she shook her head slightly. “Go on, I’m good – I’ll be a wine opening maniac.”

Instinctively, he pressed a kiss to her temple and ignored the look that Charlie and Kiley exchanged before following Chuck into the living room. He greeted his teammates and their significant others, smiling good-naturedly as the boys all yelled his name or teased him about one thing or another. He was just happy that Alina didn’t hear them or she’d end up lighting them up in his defense.

He managed to stay in the room for all of fourteen minutes before drifting back into the kitchen. Despite Charlie saying it was going to be just couples, a few of the girlfriends had brought friends and he got the distinct feeling Charlie Coyle’s girlfriend was trying to set him up with one of them. He walked back into the kitchen to find Alina perched on the counter, chatting animatedly with Kiley. He paused in the doorway to watch her as she gestured dramatically with one hand, large glass of wine in the other, only pausing her story to take a long sip and accept a piece of cheese that Ki had handed her. The sweater she had on had slipped off one shoulder and he eyed the bare skin greedily, aching to touch her.

It was a relief to see her getting along with at least one of the girls, a light floaty feeling filled him at the sight. Baby steps, he told himself, baby steps.

Eventually, he couldn’t resist interrupting, moving towards Alina and fitting himself between her legs. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her head on the top of his while continuing to talk to Kiley.

“But yeah, I’m super lucky the other nurses are so experienced and are actually super sweet. Have you been doing nights or days?”

The two girls continued the conversation around him like he hadn’t even joined and he contented himself with sharing Alina’s glass of wine and helping himself to one of the smaller trays that hadn’t been circulated out into the living room yet. They spent the better part of an hour in there, switching to a different bottle when Alina’s fancy one had been finished.

“If you’re not gonna get your own glass, you have to be the refill bitch.”  She muttered in his ear, pressing an errant kiss to the side of his head before refocusing on whatever Kiley was saying to her.

He pushed back from the counter to refill from a new bottle, pouring it nearly to the brim before returning to his position. A couple other girls had wandered in to join them and Jake felt Alina stiffen slightly as the kitchen got more crowded.

“Ohh, boujee! Who brought this?” one of the girls cooed, picking up the now empty bottle that Alina had brought. “This is like 200 bucks.”

Surprised, he turned to catch Alina’s eye but she avoided his stare, cheeks flushing at the attention.

“JD’s gir – uh, neighbor brought it.” Kiley answered. Half a dozen people turned to look at Alina who just waved awkwardly and tightened her grip on him.

“That was – ” one of the girls who Jake was pretty sure was a friend of a friend paused to eye the way Alina and Jake were tangled together before continuing, “Generous of you, Jake.”

He knew what she was doing. It was something all the guys had to deal with: girls that wanted to be with a player because of the money. And if a girl was like that she usually assumed all the others were. Jake flushed with anger, opening his mouth to respond but Alina beat him to it.

“Actually, I bought it myself.” She answered stiffly, tugging the glass from Jake’s hand to take a sip.

The kitchen felt ice cold and tense, nothing like it had been when it had just been Kiley and Alina chatting. Thankfully, Chuck and Gryz came flying into the room shouting about everyone going into the living room. The girls that had just come in exchanged looks before turning to go while Alina stayed put. Kiley shot the two of them a concerned look but grabbed a few things to bring into the living room, leaving them alone.

He turned around so he could face her, placing a hand on either side of her body and leaning his forehead against hers. “Leen, ignore them.”

“I told you your friends hated me.” She mumbled, refusing to meet his eyes.

“Those are absolutely not my friends.” He nudged her nose with his. “Do you wanna go? I told you, the second you want to leave, we can.”

She was quiet for a second, fingers trailing along the sliver of skin between his shirt collar and hair. He practically melted into her at the sensation. “No, no – I need to be nicer. I do want your friends to like me…”

“How bout this: we spend another hour or so here, drink a bit more fancy wine and eat some cheese then we’ll go out to dinner – just you and me.”

That earned him a smile and her eyes brightened for the first time that night. “You’d do that for me?”

He sighed, feeling the wine loosen his tongue slightly. “Leenie, when’re you gonna learn I’d do anything for you?”

“I don’t deserve you, Jed.” She mumbled, staring straight at him, her eyes serious and intense.

“We’re not gonna do our little argument about who deserves who.” He teased but she stayed serious, eyes dropping slightly to his lips.

“Jake, I – ” he wasn’t sure what she was going to say, he wasn’t sure if she even knew because she cut herself off. 

Instead, she leaned forward and pressed her lips gently to his. It caught him so off-guard he hesitated for a second but thankfully his instinct kicked in before she could pull back in embarrassment and he caught the back of back of her head, pulling her in closer.

It was like everything he’d been dreaming about but better. Alina tasted sweet like honey, her mouth hot on his as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. He wound the hand not buried in her hair around her waist, tucking up under her sweater to press his palm against her skin.

Reluctantly, she pulled back, staring at him seriously. “I’m sorry.”

“Why the fuck are you sorry, Leen? Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?”

She giggled, sliding off the counter and burying her face into his chest before turning up to look at him. “You still wanna stay?” she teased, eyes sparkling.

“Fuck,” he grumbled into the top of her head. “I really really don’t but we should.”

Just as he was leaning down to steal another kiss, Charlie bounced back into the room. “Heyo, what’re you two doing? Come have some more wine before we have to switch to the boxed stuff.”

He stared at the two of them, tangled around each other and faces flushed but that didn’t stop him from continuing to egg them on about moving into the living room with the rest of the party.

“Alright, alright – we’re coming!” he yelled over his shoulder finally, shooting him a dirty look for interrupting. He turned back to face Alina, resting his head against hers. “Maybe we’ll stay for like twenty minutes?”

Smirking, she stood on tiptoe to press the lightest kiss to his lips before moving around him to go into the living room. He scurried behind her to follow, catching up easily. He wrapped his arm around her waist, feeling her relax at his touch. The move wasn’t lost on nearly everyone in the room. While officially Alina had been introduced as his neighbor, he was pretty sure a blind person could see the way he was touching her and staring at her and refusing to be farther than an inch away from her.

Alina remained controlled with her drinking, sipping wine slower than she had been drinking lately and that in and of itself felt like a victory. She did relax slightly but Jake noticed how she tended to stay close to him or Kiley. If she was ever talking to another of the girls, Kiley was also involved and if she moved along, Alina would do the same after a minute or so. She’d finally settled into a conversation with Charlie Coyle and his girlfriend leaving Jake to talk to a few other people while still keeping a close eye on her.

He desperately wanted to leave, wanted to get her alone so they could talk or make out or do more, he didn’t know. But he also wanted to give her the chance to get along with the group because he was hoping she’d be part of it soon.

“Slim! My guy! You crash any cars lately?” Khuls came blazing in loudly and Jake noticed Alina’s eyes shooting over and narrowing at the words.

He rubbed at his neck, “Er, not lately, man.”

Once the can was open, a few of the other guys started to chirp him, mostly around if he was going to grow a mullet again this year or if he’d been working out instead of going to McDonalds every night. He kept glancing over at Alina who was back to Russian Bitch Face and he was worried about what was about to come next if the guys didn’t stop.

And sure enough, Karson said something else about his driving and then Alina was at his side, threading her fingers with his. There was barely contained rage on her face but she seemed to swallow it down, instead squeezing his hand tightly.

Standing on tiptoe, she pressed her lips to his ear. “I’m ready to go if you are.”

He knew she was trying to make an effort, trying to get his friends to like her and in this case that meant not saying a word to them when they were chirping him.

He knew his face gave away everything when he looked down at her with a goofy smile. “Yeah, Leens – let’s go.”

“You guys are leaving already?” Kiley pouted and rather than admit Alina had just about had enough of being around so many people she wasn’t comfortable with he shrugged, swinging their clasped hands lightly.

“Sorry, Ki – we have late dinner plans.”

“Where are you going?” the girl that had been bitchy about the wine Alina had brought cut in and Jake was never outwardly rude so he just gave her a tight smile.

“Committee, down by the waterfront near our place.” He liked saying ‘our place’ like they lived together for real instead of just in the same building. “It’s Leenie’s favorite.” He added to get this girl to realize Alina wasn’t just some random girl that he’d brought out for a good time.

“Nice.” Chuck gave a reassuring nod, seeming to understand that it was time for them to leave. “Thanks for coming, bro.”

They made their goodbyes as quickly as possible but it still took about fifteen minutes to get out of there. By the time they were heading down the hall, Jake was thrumming with energy at getting to be alone with Alina. As they stepped into the elevator and the doors slid shut, Alina was wrapping herself around his body and pulling him to her lips for a soft kiss.

He pulled back, grinning down at her. “Do you actually want dinner?” he teased and she flushed slightly before smacking his stomach.

“I’m a classy lady, I need dinner first.” She smirked back at him, stepping up for another kiss but he pulled back so she couldn’t reach him.

“You know this is more than that, eh?” He paused, serious as he brushed her hair back off her shoulders.

She squeezed his waist, tucking one hand under his t-shirt and tugging on the belt loop with her other. “If it was just that, I would’ve taken advantage of the four times I’ve woken up to your hard cock poking me in the ass.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, flushing red and feeling his body overheat at her words. “You noticed that?”

“Jesus – yeah. I noticed it.” Now she was flushing, biting on her lip teasingly and trailing her fingers down his torso. “But yeah, Jakey – let’s go to dinner first.”

She seemed to have timed it perfectly, winking up at him just as the elevator door slid open and then she slinked out, heading towards their waiting Uber, leaving Jake shaking his head like a puppy. Before the doors could close on him he hurried after her, catching her around the waist just as she was opening the car door and he hustled them inside.

The couple glasses of wine they’d both drank seemed to have made them both more relaxed and Jake spent the ride back to South Boston contenting himself with sweet, slow kisses and brushing his fingers along the waistband of her jeans. He was aching just thinking about what it would be like when they got home. It was tempting to just race home and throw her on the mattress but Jake wanted to talk about it first. Make sure this wasn’t a rebound or a hookup. He knew he wouldn’t be able to take it if they weren’t on the same page.

By the time they got to the restaurant, Jake was half hard and regretting his plan to go through dinner. The Uber driver had given them a sharp warning to stop getting handsy and Alina had just replied back in Russian angrily which seemed to scare him into leaving them alone.

They were both happy it was a Tuesday and the restaurant was only half full. Jake requested a table in the back corner and while he’d always made fun of couples that sat on the same side, it was impossible to separate himself from being close to her. So he slid in next to her, crowding into her space until she was playfully trying to push him away.

“What?” he asked, ducking in close so he could kiss her. “You think I can sit all the way over there when you’re here looking like that?”

“Like what?” she teased.

“How you always do,” Jake shrugged. “Perfect.”

Alina flushed and Jake was pretty sure he’d never seen her blush as much as she had tonight. She slid her hand along his thigh, dancing her fingertips up along his leg until he was inhaling sharply and caught her wrist with his hand.

“Why won’t you let me play?” she teased, pressing her face against his neck.

Jake had to take in a few deep calming breaths and he felt grateful when the server stopped by. They ordered cocktails and an appetizer but he didn’t think the two of them had the patience for actual dinner.

As soon as the server walked away, Alina was back to teasing her fingers along his leg and he had to get hold of the situation before he wasn’t able to think straight.

“Leenie…can we talk? For just a minute?”

She frowned slightly, pulling back when she realized he was being serious. “Um, of course. I just – you want this too, right?”

The question caught him so off-guard he was quiet for a beat too long. Alina looked up at him sadly, biting hard on her lower lip. He panicked slightly, turning to face her so he could hold her face and she couldn’t avoid his stare.

“Alina,” he started seriously. “I want this. I want you. But I also want more.”

He held his breath, waiting for his words to sink in. She was gripping on to his wrist tightly, eyes scanning his nervously. “Like…you like me?”

He huffed a breath out. How could she not know? 

“Yeah, Leens. I like you. A lot. Like a lot a lot.”

“A lot a lot?”

“More than you could know.” He admitted, heart pounding in his chest. He’d watched Alina go through a traumatic relationship and he liked to think he’d helped her start to heal. Over the last year and a bit of knowing her, he’d fallen hard and stupid but it had felt like she’d been right there with him.

She opened her mouth to respond but shut it, looking shier than he’d ever seen her before. It felt like she was quiet for hours until she finally spoke.

“I – I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about someone before.” She admitted quietly, rubbing her thumb along the underside of his wrist. “I’m – shit…I’m not easy and kind of a disaster but you make me feel good; feel like someone that deserves to be loved. I want to try this. I want to be with you if you want to be with me.”

“We’ll go slow. I don’t want to push you but I need you to know I’m not gonna give up or go away just because you get a little too drunk one night or you yell at half my friends.” He teased slightly and she gave a watery little chuckle.

“Can we still have sex tonight though?” she asked and he choked on air, glaring at her when she started laughing.

“I might hold out on you just for that.” He answered with zero truth in his words. She raised one eyebrow and just leaned back without a word before he huffed a sigh. “Yeah okay, there’s no way I’m ever going to deny you anything.”

It was obvious he wasn’t just talking about tonight and instead of speaking, Alina just leaned forward to kiss him gently.

Their drinks arrived and then the food shortly after while the two of them went back to their normal relationship, joking and teasing each other except this time there were kisses and sly touches mixed in. Jake felt like he was floating. It was everything he’d been wanting for more than a year and it was better than he’d ever imagined.

Before the server could even ask if they wanted more food or drinks, Jake was sliding his credit card over. All he wanted was to get Alina alone. The restaurant was only a block away from their building and as soon as the check was signed, he was bundling her out the door and practically dragging her along as they walked.

Alina giggled behind him and he just squeezed her hand tighter. “I’m not gonna run away from you, Jed.”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned about you it’s that you’re a drunk runner.”

“Trust me,” she started to say and he glanced over at her, drinking in the happy glow around her and the way her eyes were sparkling back at him. “I’m not running away from this.”

--- ---

“Holy shit.” Jake exhaled into Alina’s neck as he tried to catch his breath. 

He’d collapsed on top of her and he could feel her still pulsing around him and her heart racing. He lifted his head to see her staring back at him, eyes soft and a happy little smile playing on her kiss-bruised lips. She ran a hand through his hair as he finally rolled off of her, hissing slightly at the loss of her around him.

“We’ve been cuddling for weeks when we could’ve been doing that?” she whispered, rolling into him so she could wrap around his body. He lifted his arm up to hold her close, smirking and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“To be fair, I’ve been thinking about doing that for more than a year.”

“Oh?” she raised an eyebrow at him. “And how did you prepare? Watch some game tape?”

He threw his head back with a laugh, sliding a hand down her side to land on her ass. “Lotta nights alone in hotel rooms thinking about what I’d do if I had you in my bed.”

“Did it live up to your expectations?”

“Not even a little.” He answered, grinning at the glare she gave him. Before she could say anything he tilted her head up to catch her lips in another kiss then pulled back. “It was a million times better.”

They fell quiet, content to stay cuddled up in the little cocoon they’d made. Alina’s bed was a massive king but they stayed on top of each other, the sheets tangled around them. Jake felt like he was moving through a dream. Last night he had been arguing with his teammates about Alina and how they were ‘just friends’ and now he was in her bed with her naked body pressed against him, trailing her fingers up and down his stomach gently. He traced the length of her spine, a little smile playing on his lips.

He stared down at her, eyes drinking in her features. There was a little birthmark he’d never noticed right on her temple. Her hair was a mess, the dark waves tickling his arm. She was staring across the room sleepily, eyes hooded and a satisfied little smile on her lips. The warmth of her body and the way she was distractedly running her fingers along his skin was making him sleepy. Eventually, her movements slowed and they both dropped off to sleep.

The next thing Jake knew a loud banging was startling the two of them awake. Alina shot up into a sitting position next to him, blinking awake and alert faster than he was. The banging continued, coupled with muffled yelling.

Frantically, she rolled out of the bed, grabbing her phone before snagging his button down and pulling it on as she hurried out of the room.

“Fuck.” Jake hissed, jumping out to follow her only pausing to grab a pair of shorts he’d left at some point.

The banging was deafening in the living room, shouts coming through the door and it wasn’t hard to guess who was out there based on the language and the sheer fear on Alina’s face.

“Baby, let me – ” he moved towards the door but she got between him, pushing back on his chest.

She started to yell back through the door in Russian, clearly telling her ex to go away but he just kept pounding loudly. It was nearly three in the morning and he was going to wake up the neighbors if he didn’t leave soon. Nothing she was saying was working and Jake felt helpless. There was pure fear etched on her face and he stepped behind her to place a calming hand on her back.

“Do you want me to call the police?” it was the only thing he could think of except opening the door and telling him to fuck off himself. He was bigger than her ex but he’d always noticed there was something unhinged that reflected in his eyes. But if it meant protecting Alina, he’d go toe to toe with the guy.

“Yes – no – shit, they never help. I’ll just – I – fuck. I’m going to open the door but keep the chain on. He – he’s yelling about you.” She whispered at him, panic and fear overwhelming her momentarily and some of what she said made no sense. “There’s something on Instagram?”

Jake paled wondering what the fuck could’ve been posted in the last few hours to put this guy in a rage. He could only imagine that it wasn’t good.

Alina cracked the door slightly, hissing back in Russian as her ex pushed hard against the door trying to snap the chain. She jumped back in fear and there was zero-way Jake was going to let this continue.

He stepped forward, pushing Alina behind him. The second her ex caught his eye, his face turned red and he shook the door harder.  

“Stay fuck away Alinochka.” His words were followed by another hard bang as he tried to muscle through the chain.

“You need to leave.” Jake shot back, forgetting he was standing in just a pair of shorts while Alina was wearing his shirt which was only making the guy angrier.

He switched back to Russian, yelling angrily at Alina who was responding but her voice was shaking.

“Leen – this isn’t okay, I’m getting rid of him.”

The fear grew on her face and she grabbed his arm frantically. “Jake, no. You can’t get into a fight because of me.”

“He’s a piece of shit, I don’t want him anywhere near you.” He squeezed her arm softly before turning back to the door and inhaling deeply, trying to control his own temper. He threw the door open and thankfully her ex was smaller than he remembered. Definitely still an angry maniac who hit women but Jake was stronger.

Her ex tried to barrel through the door, attempting to get by him and to Alina, shoving into Jake who pushed him back. “Not gonna say it again, man. Get the fuck out of here. And don’t fucking come back.”

He tried again to get past Jake who muscled him back. He had tunnel vision, entirely focused on getting her ex the fuck away from her. He really didn’t want to get into a fist fight in the middle of the night but he would if it meant keeping her safe. Another shove and this time Jake was knocked back into the apartment. Alina gave a little shriek of panic and he heard her on the phone, giving their address and begging for someone to come quickly.

Again, her ex barreled towards him and this time, caught him around the waist. Jake fell back with a thud and just barely had time to get his arm up to protect himself from a punch. The second one landed, cracking him dully on the side of the head. Going off instinct, he pushed his hands on his chest, shoving as hard as he could to get him off of him.

The move managed to allow him to scramble up and reposition himself in front of Alina who looked like she was having a panic attack. But he barely had time to glance at her before returning his focus to her absolute fucking psycho ex who was preparing to take another swing at him. Ducking from the blow, he managed to hit him squarely in the face, hearing the satisfying crunch of a broken nose. Blood started to drip onto the floor and it slowed him down long enough for two cops to come barreling into the room, one grabbing her ex and the other pushing him back.

One cop tried to get control of the screaming Russian who was spewing blood all over the place while Jake immediately threw his hands up defensively to show he wasn’t doing anything. It only took about thirty seconds for the cops to recognize him.

“Jesus, DeBrusk?” the one that had initially tried to restrain him before realizing he wasn’t the problem. He was an older guy, maybe his dad’s age while the guy trying to hold onto Alina’s ex was younger and beefier, practically a John Cena clone.

“Yeah – can you guys get this asshole away from my girlfriend?” he snarled angrily, stepping over to snag Alina’s hand and pull her close to him. He was trying to calm his breathing, shaking out his hand that was already killing him while pulling her into his side.

“Okay, let’s all calm down here. Jesus – does this guy speak English?” the other officer said, still struggling to control him.

“Sir, officer, I’m sorry – he does but his English isn’t great.” Alina managed to get out, her voice cracking slightly. “His name is Mikhail Drozdov.”

Mikhail’s eyes flashed dangerously at Alina and he tried again to lunge forward to grab at her.

“None of that.” Officer Cena clone grunted, using one hand to twist Mikhail’s arm back behind him at a painful angle to snag his handcuffs before finally restraining him and plopping him down on the floor. “Stay. Does he understand ‘stay’?”

Alina hissed at Mikhail, her words sounding harsh and bitter. He was still glaring at the way she was tucked protectively into Jake’s side. The longer he was sitting there, the stronger the scent of vodka grew and Jake realized the guy was completely obliterated.

“Now that he’s restrained, can I ask you two a few questions?”

“Yes, sir.” Jake said, turning to his media training. He was going to get lit up by the front office if this got out but he was just happy he’d been here to protect Alina and now he just wanted to focus on getting everyone the fuck out of her apartment. “Can we grab some clothes first?”

The officer smirked at the pair of them in their state of undress. Alina was trying to cover herself and Jake made a point to shield as much of her body as she could.

“Go ahead, kids. We’ll try to interview Igor over here while we wait.”

Jake turned carefully, still keeping her as covered as he could as he nudged her back towards her bedroom. The second they were in the room Alina burst into tears and threw herself into his arms.

“Holy shit, Jake – I’m so sorry. So so fucking sorry.” She rambled into the crook of his neck, her tears soaking into his skin. “I don’t know what happened. He was yelling about something on Instagram? What does that even mean? How did he know we were together?”

Jake’s stomach flipped. Someone from the party had to have posted something that showed the pair of them together. He didn’t think it would be from the restaurant, that would take a lot to find but if it was in the background of one of the guys’ stories, it was possible.

He drew back so he could look at her, pushing her hair off her face and pressing a quick kiss to her nose. “I don’t know, baby. Maybe one of the guys shared something? And we were in the back? I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened.”

“How much trouble are you going to be in?” she asked, focusing her worry on him. It made his heart hurt a little to think about the fact that some asshole had just physically tried to assault her and she was worried about him. Carefully, she brushed at his eye where the punch had landed. “I bet the cops would let you go back to your place. You don’t have to be involved. It’ll just be me and Mikhail.”

“Leen, I’m not leaving you. We didn’t do anything wrong. I’ll talk to Bergy in the morning. He’ll help but right now we have to go talk to them.”

Nervously, she nodded through wide, watery eyes. He hated seeing the terror on her face so he pulled her in for a kiss, pressing his lips to hers and holding her tightly for a long moment. When he released her, they quickly got dressed; Jake pulling on a Bruins sweatshirt of his that Alina had stolen a couple weeks ago while she dragged on a pair of yoga pants while keeping his shirt on. The buttons were crooked and only two of them done up so he paused to carefully fix it for her.

Finally they emerged from her room to find two more cops had arrived and Mikhail still on the floor, spitting an angry stream of Russian at those around him. When he spotted Alina he snarled and tried to move forward.

“Where’d you find this guy?” Cena clone asked, kicking at his leg slightly.

Alina ignored him, walking back towards the first cop they’d talked to. “I’m Alina Agapov.”

“Yes, ma’am. We pulled your info. I’m Sergeant McDonald. Let’s take a seat in the kitchen, okay?” It was like a switch had flipped, the police officer turning into a kindly uncle as he led Alina and Jake towards the kitchen island where the two of them sat down. “Looks like you have an active restraining order against Mr. Drozdov.”

Jake shot a surprised look at Alina. He had no idea that she’d taken her ex to court and he hated himself for not having been around to help her through it. And that she hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him about it.

She swallowed hard, moving closer to Jake and he wrapped his arm around her, letting her lead the conversation.

“Yes, that’s right. We just had the hearing a few weeks ago. He – he’s not supposed to come near me.”

“No, ma’am. We’re going to bring him into the station and hold him. He’ll have the option of bail but the more times he breaks the order, the worse it’ll be.” Sergeant McDonald said softly but his words did nothing to calm Jake’s anger.

“‘More times he breaks it’? What the fuck does that mean – he’ll just keep trying to attack her but bail will go up?”

“Calm down.” He said sharply, shooting Jake a stern look.

Alina squeezed his leg. “Jake, please. It’s okay.”

“No, it fucking isn’t.” He huffed under his breath but fell quiet as they were asked more questions. They recounted the night, explaining that they’d been asleep when Mikhail had showed up screaming then all that had happened to get to this point.

Jake chanced a glance behind him to see two of the officers hauling Mikhail out of the apartment. He sighed slightly, pulling Alina in tighter to him. After another ten minutes of answering questions, the officer finally seemed satisfied and offered a card to Alina.

“This is where we’ll be holding him and that’s where you can get a copy of the report. Recommend you call your lawyer in the morning, he’ll know what to do next.” He looked awkward, unsure of how to deal with a girl that was so clearly emotionally drained and then slid his gaze to Jake. “Listen – we, uh, we don’t have to put your name in the report or anything.”

Surprised, Jake looked at him. “That – that doesn’t seem right. I broke his nose.”

“We can work around that, son. The guy is gonna go to jail regardless, your girl has like seven police reports filed against him so it shouldn’t be a hard decision for the judge.”

The fact that Alina had filed so many reports hit him like a truck. It had clearly been far worse than he’d even realized. In a daze, knowing the cop was giving him an out because of who he was, he looked down at Alina.

“He’s right, Jake – this can fuck things up for you.” She said softly, her gray eyes pleading with him to think about himself.

It didn’t feel right. He was worried if there was anything that wasn’t right in that report, Mikhail would be able to work around it and get back at Alina.

So he shook his head no. “Just – write it as it happened, sir. I’ll sign it or whatever but it should be right.”

Sighing, Sergeant McDonald flipped his notebook closed. “Okay…we’ll do our best to keep it quiet though. And uh, good luck – you’re playing like a beast.”

He gave him a tight smile. The fact that they were talking about his play when a guy had just violently gone after his girlfriend didn’t exactly sit right with him.

But he walked him to the door, saying goodbye to the other cop who was lingering as well, staring curiously at Alina. This had been a nightmare of a night and there was still blood all over the floor. As he shut the door behind them, he leaned against it, tapping his head lightly against the surface.

He squeezed his eyes tightly before turning to face Alina. Her face was pale, quiet tears streaming down her cheeks. He rushed towards her, dragging her into his arms and holding her as she cried.

What a fucking night.

It was almost five in the morning. He had practice in a few hours and he knew he’d need to go in early to let management know about what had happened but right now all he could think about was holding Alina.

He rubbed her back gently, tilting her face up to his. “Baby, let’s go to my place – we can lay down for a bit longer.”

She sniffled, wiping her nose with his sleeve. “This is humiliating. I’m sorry, Jakey. Maybe you should just go – ”

“Stop apologizing. And there’s no way I’m going to leave you. I told you earlier I wasn’t going to give up on you. On us.”

“You called me your girlfriend.” She said softly, hands gripping his waist tightly.

He smiled down at her, “That’s because you are. At least, I want you to be.”

“So much for slow.” She managed to tease through a watery smile. “I like it. I like you.”

“Then come on, girlfriend. Let’s go home.”

Trying to ignore the blood on the floor, he told her he’d call someone to clean it tomorrow when she tried to pause to take care of it. He kept a tight hold on her hand as they walked the length of the hall to get to his apartment. It was quiet and peaceful in his place compared to what they’d just walked out of. He didn’t want to push her but he had more questions than answers at this point. There wasn’t anything she could do that would make him not want to be with her; that didn’t mean she could cut him out and not tell him things.

Alina went straight into his bedroom, pulling him along by his hand. She slid out of her yoga pants but kept his shirt on as she crawled into his bed. He pulled his sweatshirt off then slid in next to her, wrapping around her body.

“Can we talk, Leenie?” he whispered in her ear. “I need you to talk to me.”

She inhaled sharply, sniffling as she did and he felt her shake slightly. He wasn’t sure she’d share but then she started to speak softly. “We – we started dating when I was fifteen. My uh – my parents died when I was ten. That’s why I moved to the States. To be with my Dedushka. He lived in this neighborhood in Brooklyn that was mostly Russian and I met Mikhail there. It just – it was easy to talk to him, he knew what it was like. Leaving home and being in a place where people glared if you fucked up your English.”

Jake felt his heart pounding as she shook slightly in his arms. She pushed back into him to try to get closer and he just hugged her tightly, pressing a kiss to her head as she continued.

“I’d spent five years barely talking to anyone. Too scared to speak until my English was perfect. Then Mikhail showed up. He was always with his dad when they came to my Dedushka’s restaurant. He made me remember where I’d come from. His parents were from the same city I’d grown up in. He was familiar in the most comforting way.”

She paused, trying to catch her breath. Jake ran his fingers down her arm so he could lace their fingers together.

“He wasn’t always so terrible. My Deduskha would’ve kill him, that’s for sure.” She gave a watery little chuckle before continuing. “But then…” she paused and Jake could hear her sniffling again, a little whimper slipping from her lips.

“Baby, come’re.” he whispered against her head, loosening his grip so he could turn him towards him. Her eyes were filled with tears and he used his thumbs to wipe them away. “I’m sorry, if it’s too much – we can talk la – ”

“No,” she said sharper than he expected before her features softened. “I – I know I haven’t shared a lot with you. And you deserve to hear this after tonight.”

He leaned forward to kiss her gently, nudging his nose against hers until she smiled. It was harder for her now, facing him as she spoke. She stayed quiet for a long moment before finally staring up at him and continuing.

“My Dedushka died when I was nineteen. And then it was just me.” She whispered.

Jake swallowed hard. No wonder she never talked about family: she didn’t have any. He rubbed her back lightly as she tried to swallow back her tears.

“He was all I really had left. I’ve never made friends very easily and my whole life was in that little neighborhood in Brooklyn. But…well you saw him. The older he got, the more controlling. He expected us to get married and me to be his little wife and have babies but I didn’t want that.

“I wanted to be a nurse. I wanted to see what else was out there beyond the little corner I knew. We made a deal that we would go to Boston for a couple years and if he did that for me, I’d marry him.”

Her voice was so soft, he barely heard her but the words hit him like a truck. The idea that he would’ve never had this made him sick. But he stayed quiet, rubbing her back gently as she talked.

“He got a job in Boston easily with this international accounting firm, managing the Russian relationships. He settled in better than I did – going out with the guys he worked with constantly. I was studying and working so much, exhausted all the time but I noticed how bad his drinking got. He’d come home sometimes just…so fucking angry for no reason. He didn’t get rough until a year or so ago. But it was a pattern I’d seen from Mikhail’s own father. His mama was so…broken. I started to see that becoming my future.

“It just kept getting worse. The cheating. Yelling. The hitting. But then I met you.” She smiled slightly, looking up at him and pressing a quick kiss to his jaw. “And you just…were this light, funny, perfect guy. Who was soft and gentle with me and I started to fall for you but I didn’t know how to get away from Mikhail.”

“I wish I’d – I…” he struggled for the words, feeling lost and a little blindsided. “I didn’t know how to help you.”

“Jake, you did help me.” She swore, brushing his hair back off his forehead. “You couldn’t fix everything, I needed to fix a lot of it myself first. And I made mistakes by letting Mikhail back in so many times but he was my past – the closest thing I had to family and that was hard to let go.”

“Tell me about the restraining order.” He asked softly, bracing himself for how hard it would be to hear what she had to say.

“I did the right thing – the thing you’re supposed to which is report the abuse. So I started to. He was…it was usually the worst when you were out of town. It’s like he waited until you were gone then he’d come over raging like you just saw. I almost got evicted over the summer from the number of times they had to call the cops but the management company was surprisingly good about it.”

“Jesus, Leen – why didn’t you tell me?” Jake asked, trying not to get upset.

Her eyes filled with tears again. “It’s humiliating. All the neighbors hearing him scream at me and throw things then the cops showing up at all hours. I didn’t want you to know that about me.”

“I would’ve come back. I would’ve helped.” He drew her in closer, squeezing her against his chest.

“I know you would’ve, but you deserved your summer. Deserved time with your family and friends.” Her voice was muffled into his chest and she was crying softly again.

“Hey now,” he whispered, grasping her chin to turn her face up to his. “No more crying. Let’s get some sleep, you’re exhausted. This is still the best night of my life.”

That earned him another little laugh as she angled up to kiss him softly. “You haven’t had a very good life then, babe.”

He scoffed. “I’m in the NHL. Very important and cool and do a lot of things. You’re still the best thing I’ve ever done.” He pressed kisses along her face as she giggled and swatted him away.

“Oh, so now I’m just something you’ve done?” she raised an eyebrow at him and he groaned, flopping his head back on the pillow. She kept a smile on her face as she rolled on top of him, straddling his waist.

He caught her hips to keep her steady, rubbing his thumb along her skin. “This is a nice view.”

Leaning back, she grabbed for his right hand. “You okay?” She pressed a kiss to each knuckle, frowning at how red they were before focusing on his face. Gently, she brushed her fingers along his tender cheek. “Do you need ice? I think this is gonna be a black eye.”

“I’m fine. Come’re,” he urged and pulled her down to him so he could thread his hands through her hair to pull her down to his lips. “Want a kiss. Then it’s bedtime.”

“Shit – what time do you have practice?”

“Eleven. I’m gonna go around ten though. I need to talk to Bergy and figure out who to talk to on the team.”

Alina frowned. “I told you I was a train wreck. It’s not too late to – ”

Jake cut her off, leaning forward to kiss her before pulling back. “Leen, I mean this is the nicest way possible – shut up. You’re my girl.”

“Thank you, Jakey.” She whispered, sliding off him and nestling back into his side.

He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Go to sleep, I’ll wake you up before I go.”

She mumbled something in Russian, pressing her lips to his chest and then she was out like a light. He lay awake for a while after she’d fallen asleep, holding her against him and thinking about the night. Everything she’d told him about her life made things so much clearer: the way she was so strong and stubborn yet had continually gone back to an abusive boyfriend, how she never talked about her past or her family. He wished she’d told him sooner but he knew he couldn’t have dragged this out of her until she was ready.

The sun was just starting to peak through the windows when he finally dropped off to sleep, dreading what waited for him at practice later but still happier than he’d been in a long time.

[cherriesradio]

Class 1-A relationship headcanons

Part 1 -> https://cherry-cake-pies.tumblr.com/post/640877154337538048/mha-relationship-headcanons-class-1-a

Fluff

Mashirao Ojiro

Remember when you where a little kid and would collect flowers at recess and give them to your teacher? Yeah that’s him

Makes little flower crowns

Idk this boy just really likes flowers okay

Their a secret for a while and because he’s not friends with everyone no one really “finds out” and the just tell the class

Aizawa kinda knew they were together the whole time it was obvious it’s just no one paid attention

Y/n is willing to get in fight for people they care for and Ojiro will just pull them away with his tail from beating some kid who made fun of Deku

They call him “Lovely little Monkey” cause he’s only 5’4 or around there and they find it cute

When it gets more serious he makes a vow to them that he will never hit them or hurt them in anyway and it’s the sweetest thing ever

When y/n is having a bad day he’ll just come at them with a million bad puns and pick up lines to make them laugh

Y/n likes wearing his Martial Arts clothes and he’s like “would you actually wanna learn?” And after a second of thinking they nod their head at rapid speed

Denki and y/n are the only people who can touch his tail (him and Denki are great friends try to change my mind)

When he’s a pro hero y/n and him are partners and they don’t tell the public their together

Every fan ships them

So one day they think no one is watching them after a fight and they kiss and congratulate each other on how good they did

Turns out there were a ton of cameras around them and it was on the news

Y/n almost killed the network ngl

Denki Kaminari

He may seem like a perv but he’s only a perv at home don’t worry ❤️

Anyways (cause writing THAT made me uncomfortable)

Y/n makes him study and sometimes he doesn’t and they’ll check to see if he’s studying and at some point their just like

“I’m gonna study with you to make sure you study”

He did study when they were with him :)

Drop kicks Mineta when he hits on y/n even tho he knows y/n and him are dating

When y/n doesn’t know he’s there he’ll go up to them and give them a small zap and they’ll giggle

(Okay druggie Denki coming through) y/n helps him get out of addiction 😌

Puts him in rehab if it’s bad bad

Once Bakugo made fun of their relationship and behind Denki’s back y/n beat him to the ground and the next day he had a black eye and some bruises and Denki was like “bro what happened” “nothin”

They mess with Ojiro’s tail together

Y/n will rant and he just sits staring at them and nodding occasionally

👏watching 👏crappy 👏 tv shows / movies 👏 together 👏👏👏👏👏

When he’s in dumbass mode y/n will throw him over their shoulder and bring him to the dorms and the whole class finds it so funny

On Twitter and other social media they will post a pic of the other and the text is just a keyboard smash

Before they got together he would do that but in the Bakusquad group chat and Bakugo just left the chat at some point cause he was tired of random clearly not asked for pics of y/n and just “akaoqiwbbejwhbwoqj I thinking I’m simping”

Relationship is not a secret whatsoever

He just went up to them in the middle of lunch, got down on one knee, took one of their hands and asked them to go out with him and after bursting into laughter y/n said yes

The embodiment of “COUPLES ARE A COMPETETION AND I AM WINNING HAVE YOU SEEN MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER!?!??”

He’s protective but also if no ones eyeing y/n or hitting on them he’ll low key be offended for y/n like “how dare they not find you to be the hottest/ cutest/ most wonderful being in the universe?”

Kirishima

If y/n is tired after training then he’ll pick them up bridle style and the Bakusquad calls him a simp

It’s literally the most healthy relationship you could ever imagine

Neither will hesitate to call the other out if their being unfair/ not putting effort into the relationship or “unmanly” as Kirishima says

Makes sure each of them get a good amount of self care as well as taking care of the other

Rarely fight, get in arguments but settle it out peacefully and with respect for one another

He would break up with y/n if they make him feel less or like he has to “be good enough for them” because he heavily values self worth because of this insecurity’s in middle school

Y/n makes him feel like he can do anything tho so don’t worry

Sometimes y/n just sits down and stares at Kirishima whiles he’s ranting about something he’s passionate about and smiling

Then he’s like “why are you staring?”

Y/n: *absolutely star struck* “u pretty”

Has hot coco in the summer

Making pillow/ blanket forts and when their done using them jumping on top and destroying them

Y/n will run at him from behind and he hears their footsteps and then shifts to pick them up for a piggy back ride

Swinging their arms around when they hold hands 😫

Y/n snorts when they laugh and their insecure about it and then Kirishima is like “okay then I’ll not try to make them laugh to much so they don’t snort and feeling bad!” And then y/n thinks he’s less interested in them

And then he makes up for it in making them laugh a ton (like to where they start coughing) and cudddle up to them and tell them how he loves their snort

Get each other gifts and ONLY gives them in front of the rest of the class to flaught how much they adore each other

Fist bumps are a form of intimate affection and you can’t change his mind

So are high fives

Even if they break up they will still be really good friends

Kirishima metions how he really likes how Bakugo makes a random food and y/n will force him to teach them how to make it

Forehead kisses Forehead kisses Forehead kisses Forehead kis-

Has a new pet name for each other every day

Fat gum has to approve (he does, he adores y/n)

Kirishima and y/n definitely call him dad

Tamaki meets them and after he tells Kirishima “their really nice you have good taste” and then feels bad because he made it sound like food

All four are just best friends and after the raid y/n totally takes them all out for boba or something like that because they are proud

Kouji Kouda (Koda)

Very, very slow relationship

It was like 6 months in before they kissed

Every time he leaves a room he’ll be like “bye I love you!”

Doesn’t get jealous at all

Like a guy could literally slap their butt and he’ll just sit their like “well that’s not very friendly” and then y/n tells him how it made them uncomfortable and he’s like “OH NO I SHOULD OF HELPED”

Dates at the park

Y/n will see like a squirrel or bird or something and be like “Koda Koda go say hi tell it hi for me please”

The type to look up how to be romantic and he just sits at his computer like “why would I kiss them in the rain????? We would be wet and uncomfortable?????”

First date is at a petting zoo

They (Koda would not propose) proposed at that same petting zoo but made arrangements to where no one else would be there so he wouldn’t be embarrassed

Legit learning Morse code or silent language so he doesn’t have to talk

Little notes left on their desk before their together and y/n’s friends are all like “you have a secret admirer~~~” and he glances over to blushing y/n and stiffens, blushing

Y/n always getting the spiders

At first wanted to do the “cover with a glass slip a piece of paper let it free” method but then he got paranoid they got back in the dorm

At the start of the relationship whenever y/n even breaths he’s staring at the ground blushing

Once they were cuddling and he had his head in their chest (uncomfortable for y/n but they deal) and they started singing and he melt on the spot

When they feel down in the morning and Koda can’t walk with them back to the dorms for whatever reason a trail of little rabbits and other cute animals will follow them trying to cheer them up

Rikidou Satou

Constantly baking for y/n, after something runs out he will have something even better ready to give to them

Teaches has them to bake

Self doubts when y/n is around good looking people and tries to show off his muscles to show that he’s worth them

Y/n knows he deserves them ❤️

Some times he’ll make something super sugary and shares with the class and their all like ���????? This is so sugary I can’t eat this???????”

And y/n is munching on it and everyone knows that he makes them stuff like this all the time

“How in the world are you still fit?” “Lots and lots of working out and only eat healthy outside of it. No chips or anything , and it’s fine”

Randomly declares that he loves random thing about them

“I love how their hair smells after they shower!” “Okay Satou anyways when are we gonna-“

Y/n said he was a good kisser once and now every time he sees them walk in the room he makes a kissy face

Taking random walks around campus

And they talk to people they pass by

Like so many people around the school know about them and they become known as “that one really cute walking couple”

[hford0311]

My Dearest Bucky (Pt. 5)

*Hey guys, sorry about possible confusion between Pt. 4 and the Final! I totally forgot to post this part!*

2017

You gave the same to your son. Elliot. The child was taken away from you when you gave birth. To this day, you didn't know if you wanted to see your son or not. Some days, you didn't even if you wanted to or not. They hardly did anything with you now. They couldn't afford to set you free or kill you either. They mostly kept you locked up in the room they conceived your son in. Constant reminders. Constant pain. They wanted that for you.

It was another silent day until it wasn't. Your ears pricked at the ruckus in the hallway. The sound of shots, punches, and bodies hitting the walls. Then, your door was knocked to the ground. Who walked in made your mouth drop, and your mind unconsciously deciding to scream. No. Not again. I'd rather be trapped away. Bucky stood frozen. He wanted to save you. Get you out of this hell.

Steve walked in and saw what the matter was. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" You scream, struggling against the chains. Then, you saw a familiar face. A 1940s face. "Steve?" Your voice was hushed. He used his shield to smash your chains. "What happened to you? I thought you were dead." You stated. "A lot of things have happened, but we want to get you out of here." He responded. Then, he looked at Bucky over his shoulder, then back at your hesitation to leave. "Y/n, it wasn't him. They were the ones that brainwashed him. They did this to you." Steve explained. "Come with us. We know people that can help." He added. You nodded and then thought of the son. "I have a child. He's seven. I don't know where he is or what he looks like. I just know he's here. The guards don't know how to keep their mouths shut." You explained, looking at Bucky the whole time. You never saw your child, but at that moment, you wanted to see him, to save him. Steve nodded. We'll find him and get him out."

You found him. Your breath was taken. You didn't know how your knee the boy was yours. You just knew. "Elliot," you exhaled and hugged the child. The child was confused by your actions but hugged you back. He looked healthy. Healthy. Oh, he looked like his father with soft black hair and steel blue eyes. He had your nose and lips. "I'm your mother and we're getting you out of here. We're going to live a happy life out of here. I'll explain more after we get out of here." You quickly said, your arms still wrapped around him. "Mother?" The small boy's voice questioned. You sobbed. "Yes, my dear. I'm your mother." You deeply breathed in his scent. You never thought about meeting him, but even if you did, it wouldn't be like this.

You scooped up your child and ran, following Steve and Bucky out of the house. It was raining. Washing away all your life in hell. Steve led you to an SUV and never looked back. In the car, you couldn't bear looking at Bucky. You kept looking at Steve and Elliot. The silence filled the car. "Are we going to ignore the elephant in the room?" Steve mentioned under his breath. You ignored his comment and continued to stroke Elliot's hair, trying to keep the both of you calm. Bucky didn't say anything either. "I guess we are then." Steve responded to himself in a gruff tone.

Your son's voice gave the most life to the table during dinner. You could hardly keep your eyes off him. He just seemed so perfect to you, and you didn't want it to end. Then the words, "Who is my dad?" Everyone paused their movements. You glance at James, then back at your plate. Bucky cleared his throat, "I-I am." He said. Then, the silence continued. Elliot looked at the adults' reactions. "Why is everyone quiet?" His voice innocently asked. Your eyes continued to stare at the plate. "How about we go find some blankets for you tonight, Elliot." Steve changed the subject and got up from his chair.

As Elliot started walking up the stairs, Steve looked back and forth between the two of you. "Normally, I wouldn't care about you two not talking, but you have a kid together. At least look at each other." He stated before following your son. You looked up at Bucky. Eye contact. How you wanted to tear away from it. "He seems like a good kid." Bucky said. You nodded, "He's beautiful." Bucky took another bite of his food. "It almost makes you wonder if they actually did something right with this world." You said. He nodded then said, "I wonder if he has the serum in him." You dropped your fork. You didn't want to think of that serum, let alone of it running through your son's veins. Not today, not the day you finally met him again and got him in your life.

You tried to get your composure. You wiped your face and grabbed your plate. "I'm going to go shower and say goodnight to my son." You stated as you walked away from the table. At the sink, you could hear Bucky mumble, "He's my son too."

***

You sighed and shook your head at your feet. "I can't believe I'm doing this," you whispered before looking back at the door and knocked on it. He opened the door. Even just seeing you made you defensive and hesitant. "Can I come in?" You quietly asked, hardly making eye contact with him. "Yeah," he responded and opened the door to let you pass. You sat in the chair in the corner, him on the bed. The tense silence was filling up the room. You both gave each other glances, but neither of you spoke.

Then, the bubble was popped. "I'm so-" "Stop. I know it wasn't actually you." You cut James off. "We've both been under their control, you more than me. Let-Let's not talk about them." You stated before sighing. "It is horrible irony. I used to dream of having children and a life with you. Now, we have a son, and well to be frank, it wasn't as anyone would want to have a child. Even if it was with the person you planned on marrying. Then, you thought he was dead for years, then you were tortured and frozen over for decades because you met a man at the gravesite of the man you loved, and-" You started hyperventilating and crying, unable to speak. He was cautious as he stood and walked over to you. He ran his hand up and down your back like the way he knew you liked, at least you in the 1940s did. You took deep breathes, the sensation sending you back to being twenty years old while trying to calm yourself.

You didn't realize you did it, but you wrapped your arms tightly around Bucky and hid your face in his neck and shoulder. "Why did we have to live such horrid experiences?" You shuddered out in a whisper. "I don't know, doll." He whispered back and continued to slide his hand up and down your back. The connection slowly came back to you. All those years ago, you could still feel the love for him. "I spent so many days missing you and would sit and talk to your grave, James. I just-" "Shh, it's over now. I'm here." The trauma between the both of you was drastic.

"Remember when we said would say that we would spend nights together in that apartment?" You muttered. He hummed in agreement. "What would you say if we tried sleeping together once again?" You questioned and felt yourself move closer to him as if it was possible. "Would you be okay with that?" He gently asked you, and his hand stopped moving on your back, resting on the small of your back. You lean back, now realizing you were on his lap facing him and nodded. "I think I would, especially if I don't have any nightmares." You rested your forehead on his. James took a deep breath, "And if I don't have any." You gently stroked his hair behind out of his face. "We can find comfort in each other then." You whispered as if you were speaking of horrible sin. "I'd like that." Bucky said with a small smile. It was the best one you have noticed since the day he and Steve stole you away. In the next part, you don't know what came over you.

Your lips were gentle against his. You felt each of your bodies relax more when he kissed you back. You gasped after realizing what you did. His blue eyes wondered your face with concern. "Is there something wrong?" He questioned, eyes still inquisitive. You thought. "Is it scary that there isn't anything wrong? I-I guess I just forgot how nice it was to kiss the real you." You softly said, followed by a bit of giggle. "I must sound ridiculous, a couple of hundred-year-olds, sounding like children." His smile returned, and he gently kissed you again. "You don't sound ridiculous." Your pair of lips met again. Soft, sweet, tender, all of the things the pair of you need.

"Mommy? Daddy?" Elliot's small voice entered the room. The pair of you broke away and synchronously looked at your son. His son was cocked, which made you laugh at his curious look. "What are you doing?" His footsteps padding across the floor to the chair you and Bucky were sharing. "Kissing, my dear." You answered, trying to not laugh. His eyebrows furrowed. "You don't kiss, Daddy!" He exclaimed. You and Bucky shared a glance and laughed slightly. "What's so funny!" Your son declared, his arms now crossed. Bucky ruffled Elliot's hair, "Get over here, kiddo," he said and helped your son up the chair between the two of you. "You two are being weird." He mentioned and looked between the two of you. Steve appeared in the doorframe, also inquisitive about the image he was seeing. "They're being weird, Uncle Steve!" Elliot exclaimed and squirmed, climbing out from the two of you and back onto the floor. "How?" Steve questioned. "They kissed!" Your son angrily answered. Steve was shocked to hear the news and looked at the pair of you. "Well, sometimes adults do that buddy." Steve replied.

"I don't like it; it's gross!" Elliot stated. You hid your laugh at the strong reaction of your son. "How about you go pick out a movie with Uncle Steve, El, and we'll be down shortly." Bucky suggested. He gave a determined nod and stomped down to the living room, dragging Steve with him. "He's such a character." You laughed. "I wonder who gets that fun." Bucky smirked at you. You rolled your eyes before kissing him again. "Let's go get to that movie before we're told we're gross and weird again." You laughed.

***

Bucky carried Elliot to bed at the movie the boy fell asleep during. You followed his steps, deciding the two of you would tuck him in bed together. You pulled back the sheets to the twin bed as Bucky laid Elliot down, which woke at the new surface. "Goodnight, buddy." Bucky said. "Goodnight, our prince." You added and kissed his forehead. The two of you were about to leave when Elliot sat up. "Will," he paused while trying to find the words, "you two love each other?" He questioned with such innocence. Both of you looked at each other. then back at your son. "One day, we will again." You softly answered.

[the-oc-lass]

Second Chances - The Prologue

*Waves* Hi there. I wanted to promote my book Second Chances (I will put the links to my Wattpad and Ao3 accounts at the bottom of the post - or remind me to post them if I forget to) by posting the prologue here and letting everyone have a taste of my work. So, like, weeeeee. 

(Note: I know my work isn’t perfect so feel free to leave suggestions on how I can make my writing better. I need to get better with criticism)

(Note #2: This is a Hamilton AU fic from the perspective of OCs, so there you go)

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO...

The End and The Beginning:

It’s a dreary day, yet so beautiful. These days are always nice. The lovely day is shattered as a single gunshot, followed by another, rings through the air. I freeze and listen, before creeping through the streets slowly. I look around, ever careful. Then my eyes find him, lying there on the cobblestones. I gasp.

“Philip,” I breath, before rushing to his side and falling to my knees. His hands are pressing against a bleeding wound. Although I know how little it will help, I pull a handkerchief out and press it over the wound in a feeble attempt to absorb the blood. His breathing is ragged, and I’m scared.

“Someone get a Doctor!” I scream, looking around the streets. Whoever had shot him is nowhere to be seen. A coward! I look back down at Philip’s face. It’s contorted in pain and agony, and his eyes hold so much fear as they stare up at me. 

“Everything will be alright. Come here,” I say gently. I lift his head and place it in my lap, and he hisses in pain.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I whisper, brushing his hair off his forehead. He has tears on his face, and looks so afraid. I run my fingers through his hair slowly, hoping to soothe him and calm him down. He makes a strangled noise, and I shush him softly.

“Hush. I’ll take care of you until you’re brought to a doctor. Please, save what strength you have. You must survive, for your family,” I say, pausing to brush my thumb gently across his freckled cheek. Blood smears across where I touched. He coughs, and I shush him again softly, still stroking my thumb across his cheek, ignoring the blood. The expression shaping his face is breaking my heart. I want nothing more than to comfort him. He reaches a hand up toward me, and I pull one of mine from his hair to hold it. His hand is still covered in his blood, but I don’t care. Mine is too.

“Who are you?” he manages to ask in a strained voice. He doesn’t know who I am...Of course he doesn’t. I smile softly down at him, giving his hand a comforting squeeze. 

“It does not matter. I am just someone who could not leave you here all alone. For, fear only grows in the privacy of one's own thoughts,” I say. He makes a strangled noise that sounds something like a laugh. He’s smiling at me very slightly.

“You are a poet?” he asks. I give his hand another squeeze and continue to run my fingers through his hair.

“Something of the sort, Mr. Hamilton,” I say kindly. He continues to smile at me.

“Philip. Call me Philip,” he says. I smile back at him.

“Philip,” I correct myself quietly. He coughs again, and I frown with concern. 

“Let us take him!” Men cry, and I raise my head to see them coming. They’ll take Philip to get the help he needs. I nod, and they hoist him from my lap. 

“One minute,” I say, stopping them before they go. Philip is still holding my hand, and I hold it tightly before leaning down and kissing his forehead.

“All will be well, Philip. I promise,” I say softly. He squeezes my hand weakly, before he’s hauled away. And I stand there in the street for a moment. Blood sits sticky on my hand. My handkerchief is gone. It’s okay. As long as he is okay.

“M-mother, you cannot be serious,” I stutter, eyes wide with horror. My mother shakes her head.

“Too serious, my darling. He passed many hours after he left you. You are likely the last person outside of his blood that he saw,” she says, holding my hands in hers. Her eyes shine with sympathy, but all I can think of is the darkness from her words. Philip is dead. He didn’t recognize me, but I’ve known him for my whole life. He’s...The first man I’ve ever loved. And I knew the fear on his face as he laid in my lap, dying. And now he’s...I shake my head and draw back, refusing to believe it.

“They have lied. It is not true!” I say, voice overtaken by emotion. My mother reaches out for me once more, but I flee from her, into my father’s study. I lock her out, and move slowly to my father’s desk. I know he keeps a pistol inside the drawer. It’s a man’s job to carry on the legacy in the first place. This will not matter. I take up a quill, dip it in ink, and write. My words spill desperately across the parchment. For I am running out of time. My last poem, my last words. And the words I’m Sorry curling at the bottom. I do not sign my name. I place the quill down gently and lean down, opening the drawer containing my father’s pistol. There is a bang on the study door, and my mother is calling my name. I do not answer. I draw the pistol out. It is loaded, as it always is, and I know how to use it. Father was adamant that I learned how. I move over to the window, and I stare out it. The gun somehow doesn’t feel heavy in my hand. In fact, it feels nice. As if it were made to sit there. My mother is still calling for me. I lift the gun, and the metal feels cool against my head. I whisper an “I love you” into the air, and close my eyes. The air smells of books, paper, and ink. All of the things I love. 

“I’m sorry, Philip, mon amour,” I whisper. My finger moves to the trigger. I take in a last deep breath, and push it down. Bang. 

I open my eyes. It’s bright and beautiful here. For a moment, I wonder where I am. I wonder how I got here. And it all comes back. I look around, searching for anything or anyone. 

“It’s you.” I turn toward the voice. And there’s a freckled face, framed by bouncing locks of curls. Philip. I reach a hand out slowly, carefully. He does too. Our hands meet, and his is...Warm. His hand is bigger than mine, and he has the calluses of a poet. The same as me.

“What did you do?” he asks me, a sad look on his face that should never sit there. I frown and turn my head away, hand dropping.

“I lied to a dying man. I removed the liar,” I say softly. His hand takes mine again, holding it.

“Miss, you said what was necessary to comfort a dying man. I do not feel as though you lied to me,” he says. I risk a glance, and his gaze on me is one that is kind and soft. Everything but angry. 

“This is her?” another voice inquires. I turn. He’s a man in uniform, from a war long gone. A bouncy head of curls tied back. Something about him reminds me of Philip. Perhaps it is the freckles and the curls.

“This is her,” Philip confirms, and I glance back at him. My other hand is lifted, and a kiss is placed upon my knuckles. I stare at the top of his head for a moment, until he straightens. 

“Who are-“

“John Laurens, Miss,” he says. My eyes widen.

“Laurens...My mother’s Laurens?” I ask. His brows wrinkle in confusion. 

“Your mother?” he asks. I step toward him, tears in my eyes.

“Mr. Laurens...My name is Lilith Derven. I’m your goddaughter,” I say. His eyes widen, and he reaches out to take his face in my hands. 

“You’re...My Anastasia’s daughter,” he says. I nod, and he pulls me to him. I bury my face into his chest. 

“You’re just as beautiful as your mother. I can see her intelligence in your eyes...She must be so proud of you,” he says, holding my head. I laugh slightly, a tear running down my cheek.

“Lilith?” Philip mutters. I turn my head, and his mouth is agape as he stares at me. 

“Hi, Philip. I was waiting for you to recognize me,” I say, smiling through the tears. He runs to me and sweeps me into his arms, lifting me and holding me close. 

“How long has it been...My Lily. My beautiful Lilith. My best friend in this world, a poet greater than I, and the girl I’ve-“ He pauses, and sets me down. 

“Laurens, could you-“

“I’ll leave you two be. I’d like to check up on Alexander anyway,” Laurens says. I hear him retreat, but my eyes are only on Philip. He takes my hands and stares me in the eye, cheeks flushed. 

“I wish I’d told you when we were both alive...Maybe we wouldn’t be dead in the first place if I had. We’d just grown apart. I was busy with school, as were you, I’m sure. I’ve always known you wouldn’t require a man to become successful, so some part of me was afraid that if I told you...You’d turn me down, or I would hold you back from your dreams. I didn’t think I could. I wanted to be bold like my pops, but it seems like the boldest thing was the one thing I couldn’t do,” he says. I tilt my head slightly, giving him a kind look. 

“Pip, what are you talking about?” I ask, using his old nickname. He squeezes my hands and looks down at them for a second, then back up into my eyes.

“Lilith...I’ve been in love with you since I was ten years old,” he says. My face flushes and my lips part in surprise. 

“You...Love me?” I repeat, still shocked. He swallows and nods. 

“I do,” he says. I smile at him and pull one hand away from him to raise it and touch his cheek. 

“Mon doux petit poète (My sweet little poet), I wish you would’ve told me sooner. Je t’aime aussi,” I say, caressing his face with my thumb. He stares at me for a moment.

“You do?” he asks. I smile wider and nod.

“Have I ever lied to you, mon amour?” I ask. He grins at me. 

“Probably, when we were children,” he says. I laugh and lean my forehead against his. 

“I’ve missed you, ma douce (my sweet) Philip,” I say. He chuckles, putting a hand respectfully at my hip. I pull back slightly to look at him through my eyelashes. 

“Pip?” I ask softly. He tilts his head to show he’s listening. 

“How much French do you know?” He hums in thought for a moment, looking at me curiously.

“Only what you taught me,” he says. My stomach twists nervously. Damn this corset. I take a deep breath and lean toward him.

“Embrasse moi,” I whisper in his ear. He pauses as I pull back. He swallows and licks his lips.

“That...Kiss you?” he asks. I look away shyly and nod. He smiles bashfully, before gently taking my face and turning it toward him. His eyes sparkle with adoration as they look at me, before they drop to my lips. His eyes close as he leans toward me, and mine do too. His kiss is soft and sweet, warm like the morning sunlight, and a bliss unheard of. I smile against his lips and I feel him do that same. It lasts for only a few seconds, before we pull away from one another. Blushes spread across our cheeks, and smiles curve our lips. 

“Wow,” he breathes. I giggle and throw my arms around him. 

“Je t'aime,” I say, holding tightly to him. He laughs, kissing behind my ear. 

“I love you too, ma beauté française (My French beauty),” he says. I giggle, and then shriek as he lifts me up. He’s spinning with me, and I hold on tighter. When he finally puts me down, I step back and sway.

“You’ve made me dizzy!” I giggle, grinning at him. He laughs at me, and I hug him tightly. Someone clears their throat, and we jump, moving away from each other. Laurens smiles at us. 

“I take it your feelings were mutual?” he asks. Philip blushes and nods.

“U-um, how are my parents?” he asks, changing the subject. Laurens’ face drops. 

“They’re...Grieving. Not just you, but Lilith. And they’re still searching for Evangeline,” he says. For a moment, my heart breaks. The Hamilton’s are grieving for me as well? I’m not even their daughter, I’m not of their blood at all, but they still grieve for me? Then my attention is drawn away from the fact. I look at Philip and raise an eyebrow. 

“Who’s Evangeline?” I ask. He looks at me for a moment, silent. 

“You are,” he says. I crinkle my eyebrows in confusion, tilting my head.

“What?” Laurens and I ask in unison, each with differing ratios of shock and confusion. Philip takes my hand, seemingly planning out his response.

“My mind was so blurred after I got shot. I was looking at the sky and still didn’t know which way was up. When I saw you, I couldn’t see your face. Not in the literal sense, but it didn’t click. In my mind you were a pretty stranger with pretty words, and I couldn’t see you as Lilith. Maybe it was my own mind’s way of trying to be merciful, because knowing that it was you I was dying on would’ve been many times worse than believing I was dying in the arms of a stranger. I tried to describe you to my mom, I wanted to have you speak at my funeral,” he looks up at Laurens to address him instead. “We couldn’t just call her ‘the girl in the purple dress,’ so my mom decided to call her Evangeline. It’s supposed to mean bringer of good news, which she associated with Lilith comforting me.” The way he’d described it all had been so poetic and sad. And he’d wanted me to speak at his funeral? What...What have I done? I turn to Philip.

“I’m so sorry,” I say, feeling overridden with guilt. He puts his other hand over mine. 

“Lilith, it’s perfectly fine-“

“But it’s not. I caused your family so much pain and uncertainty. They may never know that it was me who sat with you, and they’ll live the rest of their lives wondering who I was. Not to mention that I’ve caused them more grieving by taking my own life,” I exclaim, tears welling up in my eyes. The outburst is so unladylike, and nothing like how my mother taught me to act. Yes, speak to be heard, but stand strong. Women are already seen as weak, do not allow yourself to show weakness if you wish to be taken seriously. Show emotion with words, not with your tears. Philip wipes a stray tear from my cheek, kissing my forehead. 

“Don’t cry, mon amour,” he mutters softly. I hiccup and nod, taking a deep breath to pull myself together. There’s a long silence.

“I want to show you kids something,” Laurens says, placing a hand on each of our shoulders. I grin slightly. 

“You just aged yourself a lot, Mr. Laurens,” I giggle. He sighs and rolls his eyes fondly, shaking his head. He turns and waves for us to follow him. We do so, hand in hand. Eventually, he leads us to a cliff. The horizon is a painting of beautiful colors, which reflect serenely off the waves of the deep blue waters below the cliff. 

“It’s beautiful,” I say, awestruck. Philip is at a complete loss for words beside me. 

“As is everything in heaven,” Laurens says, eyes remaining glued to the horizon. I release Philip’s hand to climb a bit higher on the cliff, standing beside Laurens. He looks at me and I look back.

“As much as it saddens me that you’ve both come so early...Welcome to the afterlife,” he says. I smile slightly. 

“Thank you, Mr. Laurens. I’m glad to have finally met you.”

~~~~~~

“My mother talked of you often, Mr. Laurens,” I say, staring across the sky. I pull at the petals of my flower crown absently. Laurens turns toward me.

“Did she?” I nod, smiling softly.

“She would tell my brothers and I stories of you, and read us your letters. And she told me once that when you saw me as an infant, you looked at me as if I were yours. You had the same love in your eyes as my father did, which is why they decided to make me your goddaughter,” I say. I try to imagine it. My infant self in his arms, a look in his eyes that can be described only as the all too pure pride of a loving father. I will never be able to feel that pride. I have robbed myself of it. Somehow, though, I do not worry. I am with Philip now, and John, and other family that has passed. I am content.

“Mon bien-aimé (My beloved) Anastasia,” he says, soft and fond. My smile is sad now, and I place the flower crown in my lap to prevent myself from crushing it.

“You loved her, didn’t you?” I ask. I miss my mother. My father. My blessed little brothers. 

“Not in the way that I love my Alexander, or in the way she loves your father, but, yes. She and I loved each other deeply,” he says, smiling sadly. I nod.

“She told me that she saw you at that ball and could tell you were different. She approached you, and you looked at her with all the politeness of a man that thought he was going to have to fend her off like other women. But the first thing she did when she reached you was turn her gaze across the room to Alexander, and whisper in a tone only you would hear ‘you love him, don’t you?’” I say, remembering the story my mother told me when teaching me to accept others. We never owned slaves. We claimed to, but we paid them and treated them as humans. And we’d never harmed them. They had families, children I’d played with. I smile softly at him, and he returns it.

“She’s always been such a strong, intelligent, and accepting woman. I never felt as though she was disgusted by me, and I never felt unsafe in her presence. She and your father were more of a family to me than my own blood,” he says, pausing for a moment before reaching for my hand and adding, “and when you were born, you were as well.” I hold onto his hands and gaze at him softly. 

“She’s always wished you could have loved him openly,” I say, unaware of the tear rolling down my cheek. He reaches up to wipe the tear away, and pulls me to him. 

“Mon petit tout (My little everything),” he mutters. I can’t help but laugh.

“Mother told me you called me that,” I say, pressing my cheek against his coat. We sit silently for a moment, the both of us reminiscing on our individual memories of my mother - his Anastasia - and longing to be back with her. We move away from each other in unison, and he smiles at me with an adoring look I’ve only ever seen from my father. He lifts the flower crown from my lap and places it on my head, grinning at me. 

“I didn’t know it was possible for people to accept this part of me until I met your mother. She looked at me with a teasing and playful twinkle in her eyes, and I could always talk to her without fear of judgement,” he says fondly. I touch the flowers in my hair, a fond smile on my own lips.

“She taught us that we do not choose how we are made, or how we are born. She said that we must treat everyone as we feel we should be treated. It is why we never owned slaves,” I say. John chuckles.

“Yes, your mother and I were adamant abolitionists. She had so much passion, especially when she was young and newly wedded. She went against the societal standards of women and we all admired her for it. Lafayette was quite taken with her,” he says. I gasp and put a hand over my mouth.

“Marquis de Lafayette and my mother?” I ask, mouth agape with a surprised grin. He laughs at my expression.

“Yes, but as far as I am aware, all that was shared was a few dances and some flirting in French. Your mother knew about his wife, however, and respected his love for her. Ever self sacrificing, your mother,” he says. I sigh and nod. 

“That she is, ma chère mère (My dear mother),” I say. He pats my shoulder.

“She’s-“

“Mr. Laurens!” We both turn when we hear Philip. He looks panicked. Afraid. Laurens and I both rise.

“What is it, Philip?” he asks, voice steady. Ever the soldier. Philip swallows

“It’s my father. He’s about to duel with Aaron Burr.”

~~~~~

Laurens has descended to be with Alexander for the duel. I hold tightly to Philip’s hand as we watch from above. He flinches when his father is shot, but Alexander seems quite calm considering the situation. Typical Alexander. He’s taken to a doctor, and Laurens comes back to retrieve Philip. 

“We should be with him,” he says. Philip nods, and his hand slips from mine. 

“Time passes differently when you don’t watch. It will only be a few minutes for you. We’ll be back soon,” he says, looking briefly at me. I nod, and I watch them go. Then I’m alone. Is this what it was like for Laurens? Long and lonely silence? I wait, eventually sitting in the grass. Sounds of nature surround me, so it’s not a deafening quiet, but I miss the presence of another person. I find myself weaving more flower crowns, and singing a French lullaby my mother sang to me as a child. I’m about halfway through my third flower crown when a voice breaks through my song. 

“My dear Laurens...And Philip?” I look up. It’s Alexander. He’s been reunited with his lover and his son. For a moment, I think to rise. I decide against it. Let him have his moment with the ones he loves first. I return to my flower crown, and continue to sing. I sound nothing like my mother, but it’s comforting nonetheless. 

“Lilith?” My singing stops as I look up, and I smile. Dropping the half-made crown, I rise to my feet.

“Monsieur Hamilton,” I say with a curtsy. He breaks away from Laurens and Philip to come forth and embrace me.

“Do not be so formal with me, my dear. You are like a daughter to me,” he says, sounding...Heartbroken? I wrap my arms around him in an effort to comfort him. 

“Darling, why did you do it? Why did you leave your poor mother in the manner of which you did? You have no idea how much heartbreak we felt in losing you. Lafayette returned for your funeral. Why, Lilith, why?” he asks desperately. I...I caused all that? 

“Because she’s Evangeline.” Alexander pulls away from me to look at his son. 

“She’s...What do you mean she’s Evangeline? You would’ve recognized her, and you didn’t know who the woman was. That’s why we’ve called her Evangeline,” he says. Philip shakes his head and moves to my side, taking my hand.

“My vision was blurred and my mind wasn’t working correctly. Think about it, Pops. Look at her. She’s exactly as I described Evangeline,” he says. Alexander looks from Philip to me and stares for a moment. 

“I don’t understand why being Evangeline would cause her to-“

“I felt guilty. So guilty that it hurt. I couldn’t take it,” I say, fingers twitching in Philip’s grasp. Alexander stares at me, shocked. Then suddenly he has my face between his hands.

“You had nothing to feel guilty for. I should’ve stopped him,” he says. I blink back tears.

“I should’ve told him I loved him sooner. Perhaps the three of us would not be here in this moment,” I say. The hand against mine flexes.

“Do not think in what if’s. What if’s will only destroy us,” Philip says. Alexander releases my face to look at his son, and I look at him too. 

“Mon doux petit poète,” I say with teary eyes, releasing his hand to touch his cheek. Alexander chuckles a little.

“We always hoped you’d fall in love,” he says. I grin a little bit.

“The plan always was to have us married anyway, wasn’t it? You wanted Derven-Hamilton grandchildren. That’s what mother said anyway,” I say. Alexander and Laurens both laugh, and Philip turns his head away to hide a blush rising to his cheeks. 

“It has been a while since I’ve been to a Derven wedding,” Laurens says. Mother mentioned that the four had come to her wedding. Laurens had given a speech, and danced with her. She said that until the day I was born, the day she married my father was the best day of her life. Not just because of her marriage to my father, but because of her friends, whom she loved so dearly. I can see why. 

~~~~~

As the years go by, more join us, and I meet many whom I never had the chance to meet. I’m reunited with others. My parents, my brothers, Eliza, all of Philip’s siblings. I’m properly introduced to people whom I haven’t met since I was born, or very young. I meet spouses and nieces and nephews. They all remain in their best form. Some being as they were when they died, and others appearing younger. Many reunions are tearful, joyous. When I first saw my mother, some ten years after my father passed away, I broke into sobs and collapsed in her arms. We all spent years in the blissful afterlife together, creating memories we never got. Philip and I get married in the presence of our families and friends. In the year 2016 on the regular Earth, I see a young woman portraying pieces of mine and my mother’s stories in a big theater in New York, in a show that is big on what is now known as Broadway. It is after I see this that the disappearances occur. The first to go is General Washington. Then my grandparents, and Philip’s. Years pass and Angelica is gone. A year later and Mr. Mulligan and Lafayette, then my father. The following year, Mr. Laurens, Alexander, my mother, and Eliza are gone. Two years and Aunt Peggy disappears. Very soon, it is Philip and I, and our siblings and their families. We await the certain fates of disappearance. And it is to my horror that Philip is gone first. Months later, I see a bright light. Each memory of my life flashes through my mind rapidly, and the light swallows me. The last thing I can see in my mind is Philip. Philip. Philip. Philip…

Yo. So that’s the prologue. It probably reads better on Wattpad or Ao3. It’s not updated as frequently on Ao3, but every time I finish a chapter, I update on Wattpad. I’m up to Chapter 14 there. So like. 

Wattpad (Main platform): https://www.wattpad.com/story/238070007-second-chances 

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28575150/chapters/70031022

[elisajdb]

GoChi Week 2021: A Fulfilled Life: Part Three

GoChi Week 2021

A Fulfilled Life

Day Three Prompt: ChiChi and SSJ4 @gochi-week

“Are you sure you and Dad don’t want to see the fireworks show in Satan City?” Gohan asked. “It’s going to be a lot of fun.”

ChiChi scrubbed her brush over the grill gates in heavy strokes. She smiled at Goten carrying Pan on his shoulders as he followed Mr. Satan and Majin Boo in the airship. She checked on Goku laying in the hammock as he recovered from his food coma. The family had a big barbecue to celebrate the spring holiday. Goku and Gohan hunted meat of wild boar, bear and dinosaur. Goten skinned and cleaned the animals. Videl and ChiChi seasoned and cooked them with the traditional burgers and hot dogs on several grills. Since Mr. Satan bought the extra grills, he felt his contributions were done and relaxed drinking beer and serving Majin Boo and playing with Pan.

After the barbecue, plans were for everyone to go to Satan City to see the fireworks show but seeing how comfortable Goku was on the hammock, ChiChi knew Goku had no plans to leave and thought it will be best she and Goku spend the evening at home. She wasn’t too keen on going to Satan City anyway. Satan City was a ninety-minute commute and after hours of grilling and now cleaning, all ChiChi wanted to do is nap on the hammock with Goku after everything’s done.

“No. You and everyone go have fun. Your Dad and I can catch the show on TV.”

Gohan frowned at his Dad puzzled at his sudden need to take a nap after the barbecue. It put a wrench in the family plans. If Dad took a nap, Gohan knew Mom wouldn’t want to disturb him which meant they weren’t coming to the fireworks show. Gohan initially thought his Dad was pretending to sleep to get out of the cleanup but his Ki was so low Gohan knew he had to be sleeping. “Well, Videl’s Dad will probably invite us to stay at his home after the fireworks so we won’t be home until tomorrow.”

ChiChi dipped the grill brush in a bucket of hot and soapy water before scrubbing the grill grate again. “Okay. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

*****

When Goku opened his eyes, he saw ChiChi placing the plastic covers over the grills. He stretched out to feel Gohan’s Ki. He felt Gohan with Videl, Pan, Goten, Mr. Satan and Majin Boo. All four hundred miles away. He and ChiChi were alone which meant he can finally tell her about his latest transformation: Super Saiyan Four.

Goku wrestled when he will show ChiChi. She hated his form as a Super Saiyan Three. The missing eyebrows disturbed her. Goku didn’t have high expectations of ChiChi liking this form. Super Saiyan Four really made it known he’s an alien and he worried the animal nature in him will frighten her. Goku also knew he was on borrowed time. One thing ChiChi hated is everyone knowing everything about her family except her. It’s happened far too many times and everyone, including Pan, knew he could transform into a Super Saiyan Four.

The barbecue came at the perfect time. Goku knew he only had to go to sleep and ChiChi will decline them both going to the fireworks show. Alone, he can tell her.

“Goku, are you still sleeping?”

Goku turned his head to see ChiChi approaching him. He stretched his arms over his head and feigned a yawn. “Just woke up. Where is everyone?”

The hammock dipped slightly as ChiChi climbed in. “Probably landing in Satan City now.” She snuggled against her husband and laid her head against his shoulder. Her hand slipped in his karategi shirt to caress his chest. “Very rare we are alone these days.”

As ChiChi’s nails grazed his chest in seductive strokes, Goku had an idea what mood ChiChi is in. He wanted it, too, but he had to tell her about Super Saiyan Four. “Yup. Feels good.”

ChiChi’s hand dipped down his shirt to stroke the muscles on his stomach. Oh, yeah, she was in the mood and at the worst time. “With everyone gone, our options tonight are really limited.”

“Limited?” He jumped feeling ChiChi’s teeth nibble his ear. Oh, boy. She really was in the mood.

“There are three things we can do. One,” ChiChi tugged his lower lobe. “We can stay here, watch the sunset and watch the stars twinkle in the skies as we fall asleep under them.”

That was a nice idea. “It’ll remind us of the camping we did. What else?”

“Two.” Her tongue licked the shell of his ear. “We can go inside and watch the fireworks on TV.”

Goku’s eyes rolled back. ChiChi and her tongue could bring him to his knees. If he gave in to the rising need of his body and have sex with ChiChi, he won’t tell her about Super Saiyan Four. “What’s the third?”

ChiChi left a tender trail of kisses from his ear and down his face. “We could go inside……” Her hand dipped past his stomach to under his pants. “Take off our clothes……” Her fingers glided over soft curls as it kept moving south.

“Yeah…..” Goku exhaled. He resigned himself to making love to ChiChi tonight and telling her about Super Saiyan Four another time. “Nngh,” he groaned as ChiChi’s fingers wrapped around his member in soft strokes. “What else?”

ChiChi’s warm breath fanned his skin. “Or…. you could….” She gripped him tightly. “Tell me the real reason you pretended to go into a food coma and get out of seeing the fireworks tonight!”

Uh-oh!

ChiChi no longer looked like the seductress that always made him lower his guard. She looked like an angry woman holding him in a very vulnerable position who can bring him real pain! ChiChi’s gripped tightened. Oh, boy. He needed to be very careful with what he says next.

“You knew?”

“Goku, you didn’t eat enough to put yourself in a food coma. I know how much you can take.” ChiChi squeezed him tighter, causing Goku to wince. “So, what’s going on?”

ChiChi was the one he always let his guard down with and she often used that to her advantage. In the past it benefited Goku but now Goku realized it could be very bad for him. “I did wanna tell you. I was waitin’ on the right time.”

ChiChi squeezed again. Goku howled. “Tell me what?”

Her voice was tight and on edge of snapping. If he said the wrong thing, he will pay for it. “I have another transformation.”

“Another one?” ChiChi eyes rolled, exasperated. “What does this make? Four? Five? I’m losing count. Never mind,” she released Goku. “Let’s see it. What do I need to prepare myself for? A spike updo? A long spiky mane? You’re going bald? How far do I need to stand back?”

ChiChi took the news of another transformation better than he expected. It gave him hope she wouldn’t be repulsed by Super Saiyan Four. Goku carefully got out of the hammock. The last time he got out with ChiChi in it with him, ChiChi was flipped out of the hammock and face planted on the grass. “No. You can sit here. I’ll transform in the sky so there’s no damage to our home.”

ChiChi’s eyes went up as Goku flew into the sky. Almost immediately, ChiChi felt the usual side effects of Goku transforming. Goku was far enough that when the ground shook, it was a tiny tremor and not enough to topple the grills or picnic table. She could hear Goku’s battle cry and see gold light covering him. It was near blinding that she had to turn away until the transformation was over. When the tremors stopped, ChiChi looked up again. Goku began his descent and ChiChi’s mouth dropped. Slowly, she rose to her feet and walked to him as he touched the ground. ChiChi expected Goku with gold hair in a spiky updo or something in a long mane. She even thought he will be bald this time but not this.

Goku’s hair was black but longer and wilder like a lion’s mane. His pupils were yellow with a deep red color surrounding his eyes like eyeshadow. In his previous transformations, Goku’s clothes never changed. It did this time. His shirt was gone and his arms and his chest except his pecs were covered in a red covering that looked like fur. His pants were goldish and not the dark green he wore at the picnic. ChiChi leaned to the side when she saw something wiggling behind him. He had a tail, too?!

“Oh…. my…..” ChiChi breathed.  

Goku didn’t know if that was a good ‘oh my’ or a bad ‘oh my.’ “Well…. what do you think?”

ChiChi snapped her gaze from his tail to his face. That voice. That deep, seductive bedroom voice. “Your voice…..” Goku didn’t sound like that unless they were in the bedroom when his body was over hers as he slid in and out of her and her hands were clutching his body while she screamed under him.

“What’s wrong with my voice?” He smirked as his tail wrapped around ChiChi’s waist and pulled her against him. He smelled the fresh scent coming from between her legs. ChiChi might be trying to hide it but he knew how she felt about this transformation. “I thought you liked it.”

“Nothing’s wrong. Ooo,” she exhaled as his tail moved to her right thigh and up her dress. She caught his naughty smirk. Oh, he was confident now and inducing some payback for earlier. “You’re very bold.”

“It’s the transformation.” He pulled the zipper down from the back of her dress. “It makes me more aggressive and in tuned with my needs.”

“I…..” her voice was breathy as she felt his need poking against her stomach. “I can feel it.”

He pulled her dress down and exposed her breasts. “I was nervous I’d scare you but you like it.” His tail went higher. “You like it a lot.”

“How do you know ….?” She gasped as the furred red tip teased her through her lacey underwear. The tantalizing caresses created a surge of liquid heat to her core.

“Just a wild hunch.” ChiChi threw her head back as Goku pushed aside the lace and slipped his tail inside. Her insides clenched his tail and nails dug into his arms as Goku’s tail went deep in her, withdrew and plunged deeper again. “Make that a big hunch,” he shrewdly guessed as his mouth closed over a nipple and suckled hard.

“Ahh!” ChiChi’s hips bucked against him. Her moans told him she needed more and he rewarded her by wigging his tail deeper in ChiChi and rubbing his hips against hers. She rewarded Goku with more of her viscous juices seeping his tail.

“You’re really enjoying my tail.” ChiChi was so tight, wet and slippery. The more she bucked against him, the thicker he grew in his pants. “Which is better, ChiChi? My front tail or…..” his red tail shoved deeper in ChiChi, stretching her longer and wider than ever before “Back tail?”

ChiChi answered with a sharp cry of his name and convulsing as she came on him. She sagged against him as her legs buckled. Goku held her steady with an arm around her waist. He was hard as a rock and needed relief but pushed it aside to comfort ChiChi.

“Goku,” ChiChi panted, “you know how I said I hate Super Saiyan Three?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m gonna love Super Saiyan Four.”