#ESSAY: Reaching Out to You

[isan0rt]

One of these days I really need to get around to writing an actual essay about the strong narrative and thematic parallels between Dedue and Edelgard. Today is not that day. But one of these days I will write the essay.

(It's about two people who lose their entire families and their entire worlds and react by covering themselves in literal armor and picking up a physical shield the size of their own bodies to defend their hearts from further pain. It's about picking up an axe and deciding to change the world with your own hands. It's about how only one other person in the world at the beginning of the story knows their true selves and loves them as an individual first. It's about how totally human and ordinary Dedue would be the perfect example of the deserving in Edelgard's ideal crestless meritocracy if Dedue didn't fundamentally reject Edelgard's worldview, and if Edelgard didn't completely overlook him. It's about how in the only route where Edelgard doesn't turn herself into a monster as a futile last ditch desperation effort to save her dream of a better future, Dedue does to try to save his.

It's about wanting a savior to reach out their hand to them in the worst moments of their lives, and how Dedue gets that and Edelgard doesn't and that emotionally and thematically makes every single bit of difference.)

[xenomoth-gutz]

bill cipher is so alex delarge coded to me so i made my human bill design based on him

[cmentary-drive]

[specialagentartemis]

Dear college students:

I’m a TA. Your TAs are students too. I get it. College is a Lot. Sometimes you can’t come to class. Sometimes you can’t finish your work by the deadline. It happens.

We’re willing to work with you if you tell us.

I have 50 students in my “Intro to World Archaeology” class. I prepare the discussion sections, I grade the essays and exams. I have plenty to do. I am not going to track you down and ask why you didn't come to class last week or if you need an extension on your work or if you would like me to email my comments on your draft to you if you didn’t pick it up on the day I handed it back. I cannot read your mind. I do not know your life. You have to approach me.

If you didn’t get your feedback, let me know! If you can’t come to class, let me know! If you need an extension on a project, let me know! You don’t need to give private personal details, but you need to at least tell me ahead of time that you can’t make it! If you never email me or approach me after class or come to my office hours, I can’t know what you need! Your TAs are tired grad students, they will sympathize with you, it is our job to work with you and help you, but you have to be the one to ask for what you need.

And seriously, if you have any questions, go to your professor’s or TA’s office hours. That’s what they’re there for!!

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.

The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.

"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."

And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.

Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.

That person was a child.

I was a child.

It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.

I'm not ashamed.

I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.

I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.

If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.

[a-totally-original-name]

I beg you to draw your favs with this please🙏🙏

[incorrect-riordanverse]

im so mad that this is a side blog account and not a main account. i started this blog when i was still relatively new to tumblr and i think i was… like. fourteen years old or something. i never thought i would continue for this long, and i never knew so many people would like the content i put out here (i have over 9k followers which is literally mind-blowing, like wow….).

because this isnt a main account, i cant respond to replies left on my posts, i cant really reply to anyone unless i reblog !! i cant even follow people with this blog, it just comes up as my main blog (which is not pjo-related… rip my failed attempts at organising my fandoms to different blogs). so my avenues of interaction with a lot of you are seriously impeded.

so i just want to say i am so thankful for all of you, i read every single person’s tags who reblog my stuff, i read all of your replies and every time im crying screaming rolling around on the ground in agony over the fact i CANT REPLY!!

i know my posts are super inconsistent these days, im glad so many are still here! i think i may change some of my content eventually (never gonna get rid of the incorrect quote stuff, i’ll just be adding some other things like pjo headcanons or analyses or something), just to spice some stuff up on here.

[thebardbullseye]

shit i stayed up til 1am writing another essay about WBN again

surprisingly it's not even about the newest episode- it's about episode 10 of WWW

[mishkakagehishka]

I may have spent all my life until this moment wasting both mine and God's time, but from tomorrow on, for sure, i swear it, i will change my ways and be better. And it'll be different from all the other times i said the same thing🧎‍♀️

[averlym]

whshdfhfjf.,,,

[the-alan-price-combo]

Hiii, please do you know where I can watch that interview where Eric talks about the night Alan leave the band? The video that was on the post was deleted from YouTube 😭

P.s I love your drawings ❤️ (english is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistake )

AaAA!! Hello, and thank you so much for reaching out to ask!! 🥹🐾

I remember it was sometime earlier last year (2023) that I noticed that the YouTube links for the Eric-BBC-Interview clips had suddenly dissappeared - both the anecdote about the phone call Eric shared with Alan when Alan left, and the "love-hate, delicate relationship" clip. It was extremely disappointing to realize this.. not only because it left a couple missing sources in my essay, but also because I didn't have the foresight to save them beforehand; I apologize for that! 😭

I saved many, many Animals and Alan videos in late August of 2023, with this situation being one of the primary reasons. At the very least, I'm glad I typed out a little transcript of those moments, and it isn't as major with the anecdote from Eric's first autobiography supporting it... but, it does feel really weird to have a missing source to a video that I so distinctly remember being up with Eric actively saying those words. And it makes me feel really bad that I can't find it for you! 😢

I'll try and do some research and see if the full BBC interview is saved somewhere - that original YouTube uploader never included a date, but considering how somewhat decent the BBC is with archiving their interviews/broadcasts (several of Alan's are still in circulation!), maybe I'll be able to find the full broadcast! If I'm able to, I'll definitely message you or tag you in a post so you can listen to it!! 🐾✨️ And, of course, if the YouTube channel suddenly comes back, I'll let you know as well!

Thank you again for the kind words, and I'm very sorry that source is unavailable. 😭 I'm so glad you like my artwork as well - drawing the Animals (and Eric and Alan) is a passion of mine!! 💞🐾✨️

[hide-your-bugs-away]

letting my manager borrow one of my copies of Dont Look Back ... please keep him safe.

[violetsandshrikes]

Can you clarify what you mean when you say people need more information on hormones and don't understand them? I don't think you're TERFy but things have been bad recently.

Sorry this has taken weeks to reply to - I got caught up with uni and then family things, and I was trying to think of a good way to explain what I meant.

From memory, when I posted about needing more hormone education, I meant in the general public as a whole, and stupidly I actually forgot about gender because I was thinking about the rise of the trad era and their beliefs, and a lot of the (sometimes very strange) misinformation they spread about health.

Since getting into animal hormones and working with them, I’ve had a lot of strange questions from different people, whether that be family, friends or strangers. At first I was honestly quite confused and a little horrified at some of them, but it came quickly apparent a lot of people just…don’t have any basic information to work off of, and so it’s really hard for them to take an idea presented and decide if it has any truth to it or not.

One example I’ve seen a lot is people really concerned about testosterone - particularly a lot of men, usually younger, really concerned about their testosterone levels for various reasons. I was at an event and I had heard the older teenage son of a family friend talking to people about how there was basically a movement within governments and heath orgs to give men low testosterone because destroying masculinity and so on. When he mentioned being worried about his own low testosterone, I just simply asked him if he’d requested a blood panel from his doctor. And he wasn’t the only one who looked…genuinely confused. People were arguing that you couldn’t just ask your doctor for a basic blood panel. And I was like uh…yes you can. If your doctor doesn’t want to, that’s usually a pretty good sign that the working relationship isn’t going to be great, and you should seek a new one. A lot of people seemed really confused by this concept as well (which is a whole other concerning kettle of fish).

I think that basic health and biology is already pretty poorly understood by a lot of people for a variety of reasons. Hormones in particular are a bitch because they can be complicated to explain, and because of that, it’s easy for an air of mystery to be added and for them to be used for people to peddle some real bullshit.

Ideally, I think we need more science communication to the general public about what hormones actually are, what they do, that you can ask to have them checked on a basic level and HOW to do that, and genuine signs that you should be concerned about. I think good public health campaigns would help disperse a lot of general misinformation and fear around them.

[charles-leclerc-official]

could you compare and contrast charles leclerc and max verstappen's driving styles?

Oh yes! This is obviously a really good topic, and super relevant to why certain races play out the way they do.

Now obviously this is a pretty broad topic so it will take me a while to do a thorough breakdown, but absolutely. I probably should do this just for reference sake.

I want to do it justice so it will probably take a while though. But I am adding it to the list!

Thank you <3

[nintendont2502]

every day i open discord.com, spam my beloved friends with just a wall of incoherent, barely interesting thoughts, and then close discord.com.

and then open it 5 seconds later to do it all again

[lazuliquetzal]

i want to hear the sports anime manifesto

Okay short version:

My life was a sports anime for a bit, and watching sports anime makes me nostalgic for those days.

Medium version:

The typical shonen sports anime deals with themes of camaraderie, ambition, and the intersections of camaraderie and ambition, which ALWAYS hits me right in the chest.

I'm not an ambitious person by nature, but--you know that one poem floating around on here, the one about the moth that wants nothing more than to fly into the flame, and how it would be nice to feel that kind of all consuming passion? Yeah, that's the feeling I get from sports anime.

And often, for the Team Sports anime, you'll get characters who have nothing in common except that they Love the Same Thing--a friendship/rivalry/(romance) formed on the basis of a shared interest. That's sweet as hell!

And they're super predictable and low stress for me. Very easy to watch! Total popcorn shows. Also I like listening to people infodump about their passions. Someone loved their Sport so much they wrote a whole-ass story about it, so yeah, eat that shit up.

Long version:

The Socioeconomic Inequalities of High School Sports

In high school, I was on a crappy underfunded soccer team (with a healthy dose of sexism) and due to [sports league division reasons] the schools we played against were almost exclusively private schools.

I cannot describe how existential it is to be wearing a hand-me-down formerly white-turned-disgusting-gray uniform that's at least five years old when playing against a team that gets brand new windbreakers every season.

(If you've read AAB, YES this is where my obsession with the windbreakers comes from.)

(Hilariously, the guys team got windbreakers but we didn't.)

(I am not over the fucking windbreakers.)

But anyway, when you're constantly losing to private schools you get this fucking complex about it.

This should come as no surprise but like. People with the time and resources to practice their Thing get good at their Thing.

Playing pick up soccer at the park is practice. Playing rec league soccer is organized, repeated practice.

Playing competitive club soccer is all of that, plus a coach who knows How To Coach and What The Sport Is, plus you get morale-boosting uniforms and the chance to play with and against other skilled players. So you're exposed to a lot more, and thus, you learn a lot more.

Competitive club soccer is also Expensive. Rich kids get good.

There's a reason why the "Powerhouse School" is a thing in sports anime, because it's a thing in real life. People with leisure time and money get to invest in their sports development, and everyone else gets left behind in the dust. It's basically a microcosm of capitalism.

The underdog sports story is (quite tragically) bootstraps propaganda. All you have to do is be really good and work really hard and have A LOT OF PASSION to get good at your sport! The cream rises to the top! This is a meritocracy! Let's ignore all the other factors that go into an individual's development as an athlete!

(My brother got scouted for club soccer as a kid. He actually went to tryouts and got offered a spot and a scholarship and everything, but there's SO many hidden fees after the initial registration. Uniforms, equipment, travel and accommodation, tournaments, plus like, the time sink, so we never signed him up. And equipment-wise, soccer is one of the cheapest sports you can play--just imagine the price for something like baseball or hockey.)

In sports anime, there is no reform. There is no revolution.

But sports anime isn't really about that. It's about the narratives we create when we convince ourselves that we deserve to win.

(You know what I mean. Every billionaire is convinced they're some sort of heroic underdog. The same exact kind of 'working your way up' narrative.)

Sports anime is like, the uncomplicated power fantasy of playing the game. It's a world where you are rewarded for your hard work, because it's narratively satisfying. It's a world where it's safe to want things, because you have the exact same chances as the private school kids.

I used to be an obnoxiously competitive child. Then I got all my competition beaten out of me by 3 straight years of constant losing in my clownagerie of a high school soccer team (affectionate). I am going to admit that experience made me a better person and I would not trade it for anything, but I also had to like, relearn how to want things. And maybe real life is not as equal opportunity as the world of sports anime, but I think it's good to want things.

Of course, the winner-loser dichotomy makes sense in sports because of the inherent nature of competition, but it doesn't make sense in stuff like society and economics because that's like, competing over the right to live. That's where the capitalism metaphor ends,

Does sports anime actually go into the socioeconomic inequalities of sports? No. Of course not. Giant Killing never got a season 2.

But it is something I think about when I write sports anime fic. Even if it's not the point, it influences my characterization. The ego of a prodigy character in a shitty sports program is different from the ego of a prodigy character in a rich kid sports program. I am obligated to my amateur attempts to capture the complexities of the high school sports environment in my fanfiction because I am fucking insane I had a specific high school sports experience and they do say to write what you know.