#EMI was on some wild shit back then

[smtown-tourist]

Part of me misses the days when SHINee would release a Japanese album and like 4 of the songs on the album had music videos, mostly because it would take FOREVER for the actual album to come out. Ah, good times

[gingernut1314]

Songbird Pt. 9

Buggy x F!Reader

Summary: Buggy pulls you from your girl's night only for you to find your captain's emotions running wild.

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut (drunk sex, misuse of Devil Fruit powers, oral f.receiving, slight restriction, p in v, biting), use of Y/N

Word Count: 6.0K

A/N: Heyyyyy guys!! Back with some of the main story!! Sorry it took....a while 😬. I hope you all enjoy!!! 🩷🩷🩷

Requested by: @srgtjamesbarnes

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Girls night. 

You hadn’t had a proper girl’s night since you were very little with your mom. Those nights where it was just the two of you played a card game together whenever she had a day off from work, which had been far and few in between. 

You had no siblings to account for and, though Nami had been a good friend, she had been too worried about Arlong and her family to truly be able to relax and have fun. Understandably so. 

So when Esmeralda and the other girls aboard the Big Top told you of their tradition, which took place whenever they made dock and the boys went to some crummy bar to drink, you were ecstatic. 

You helped them gather supplies of cheeses, meats, grapes, and copious amounts of alcohol and you all huddled together in your shared quarters, gramophone playing the latest songs Esmeralda had collected that day. 

So far, Emi had shown off her sword-swallowing skills, Seqii and her Aerial Ensemble had done shots standing upside down in a pyramid, you had sung three silly drinking shanties, and Esmeralda had cried about her horse-turned-cat food. 

You now sat in a circle on the ground, shoving the remaining meats and cheeses into your faces, talking about anything and everything that happened within the varying relationships amongst the crew. 

“Cabaji made me scrub the deck two times. Two!” Seqii complained, her drink sloshing around dangerously in her cup as she turned towards Emi, who was equally as off-balanced as her friend. “Can’t you swallow his sword, Emi? Make him loosen up a bit.” 

“I swallow his sword every godsdamn night and --hic-- he still makes me re-tie lines even though they were perfect--hic--before.” Emi hiccupped, downing the rest of her drink. “Just how the guy is. Commanding. Just how --hic-- I like ‘em.” Seqii gave a dramatic roll of her eyes, loudly disagreeing with that statement. 

“What about nice? Gentle?” Esmeralda slurred horrendously from where she sat next to you, one arm looped through yours while her other hugged the skittish contortionist, whose head lay in her lap. Emi and Seqii both booed her, making the ex-equestrian huff. 

“The difference between you and --hic-- the rest of us is you like like Mohji.” Emi hiccuped, spurring Esmeralda to pull from your hold, flabbergasted. 

“He’s nice to me and he loves me. Sorrrryyyy.” She all but shouted, making Emi and Seqii laugh like a pack of hyenas. Esmeralda snatched the bottle of wine Seqii had just picked up in something like payment and the aerial performer let her with a wide grin. “I’m not the only one who like likes who we are with. Y/N like, likes the Captain.” 

Your own laughter was cut short as your heart nearly stopped in your chest. All eyes around the room snapped to you to see if what Esmeralda said was true. 

That warm, fluttery feeling rushed around in your chest at the mention of your captain. A feeling you had been struggling to get back under wraps, but nothing you did ever could lessen the happy feeling. 

The thought of his smile had that feeling soaring. The thought of his sea-glass eyes and his bad jokes and the gifts he would shower upon you--

You gave an elongated, scoffing pfftt with a dismissive arching motion of your hand…and then another and another. 

“Shit. She more than like likes him.” Seqii said, her grin turning shit-eating. 

“I like no man. Men are gross. Ew.” You hissed, wobbling a bit as Esmeralda all but crashed into you on her way to flop on her back. 

“Ughhhh--you’re in denial.” Seqii continued, grabbing the wine bottle back from Esmeralda before she could spill it all over the floor. 

“It’s no --hic--fun.” Emi popcorned in, snagging the bottle from her friend and taking a long swing. 

“You know what is fun?” Seqii asked, fixing you with a mischievous smirk. “Telling us about how good in bed he is.” You felt your face flush at the statement, a few girls giggling and gasping around the room. Others egged you on, all but begging you to tell them. 

“That’s priv--” You started, only to be cut off by Esmeralda popping back up with a near-matching mischievous grin. 

“How big is he?” Your mouth fell open at her bluntness, but the woman only laughed away like it was no big deal. “Tell me when to stop, okay!” She said excitedly, placing her hands together before gradually pulling them apart. “Tell me when to stop--tell--there's no way--Y/N! Tell me when to stop!”

“I’m not--” Again, you were cut off by a loud burp from Seqii who had regained the wine bottle back from Emi. 

“Who cares --hic-- how big he is. I need to know if his dick can --hic-- chop off like the rest of his body.” Emi hiccuped, her question earning a collective eagerness to know from the gathered group. 

“Pleaseeee!” Esmeralda begged, latching onto your arm and shaking you. “I’ve told everyone about me and Mohji--”

“You and Mohji’s sex life is vanilla.” Emi started, making Esmeralda gasp.

“It is not vanil--” 

“I want the juicy --hic-- details. Tell us, come on!” Emi finished, everyone quieting down again to watch you, waiting for any snippet you might give up. 

You thought about it for a second. Thoughts that were fogged and blurred from all the drinks you’d had. Loose thoughts that had you thinking of all the dirty things Buggy did to you and you did to him. 

Had his dick ever detached during your escapades?

“I don’t know.” You slurred on a shrug, earning a collective groan from the group. “I’ll ask geezzzz. But Buggy does this thing where he detaches his--” A loud thump sounded at the door, cutting off your story and earning yet another groan from a few of the girls. 

Another thump sounded and you thought it reminded you of a body getting slammed into a wall. A body that kept fumbling back a bit before attempting to knock once more. 

“Shit--the fucking boys are back,” Seqii grumbled as another thump sounded through the room. She grumbled some more as she stood, wobbly navigating her way through the collection of bodies sprawled over the floor. The door was flung open, letting in a chilled breeze that rose goosebumps to your skin.

Standing there, looking just as drunk and disheveled as the rest of the group, was Buggy in all his Buggy glory. His make-up smeared over his skin, his smile wide and bright, and his hat sitting a-skewed on his head, hanging on by some miracle. 

“Captian Buggy!” The girls all cheered at his appearance. Buggy grinned widely as he dug his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“Girls! My loyal crew!” He cheered right back, pulling his hands from his pockets and into the air, wiggling his fingers in his excitement as confetti in a rainbow of color rained down onto the floor. You giggled with Esmeralda as more cheering filled the room.

“How’s your night going? Hope I’m not interpreting.” He said, a few of his words coming out elongated and awkward, but no one truly seemed to notice or care because you were all giggling, wobbling, drunk messes. 

“You could never --hic-- interpret captain! Come in!” Emi said, her tone shifting the slightest bit to be more kind towards her captain. “Y/N was just telling us--” You shot her a warning glare that only seemed to amuse her. “How much she likes it here!” 

“Oh was she? Heh. Good.” He said, stumbling into the room, Seqii shutting the door behind him. Those green-blue eyes found you and filled with that softness you had spotted here and there in them. A look that spoke to the same feeling thrashing about in your chest, wishing to meet it. 

“Baby--ugh I mean Songbird--Y/N,” He finally got out. You’re name felt strange spilling from his lips, but you loved it just as you did hearing the nicknames he conquered up for you. 

A few girls around the room gave giddy little laughs at the nicknames, which you shot them their own warning glares for. 

“I always love to hear feedback from the crew. ‘Specially from you newbies. Helps me know what’s workin’ and what’s-” he gave a little burp in the back of his throat as he came to a wobbly stop next to you. “-what’s not.” He stammered on, waving his hands around as if to emphasize what he was saying, confetti that had stuck to his gloved hands falling into your crossed lap.

You huffed with a roll of your eyes as you pulled yourself up, bumping into his leg as your wonky vision threw you off balance. Strong, gloved hands grabbed you under your arms and helped hoist you up, making your face burn. 

“Are the others back?” Esmeralda asked hopefully, sitting herself right-side up. 

“Only lil ol’ me. Sorry, Es.” Buggy said, a hand falling away from your body only for the last to stay glued to your back. You leaned into his touch, loving the feel of his warmth, a warmth strong enough to seep through the white fabric of his glove and your shirt.

“Captian, before you drag our glorious singing songbird off, could we hear one more song?” Emi asked, raising the last wine bottle. “We still have this whole bottle left,” 

“Sure. No skin off my nose.” Buggy said, turning to look your way with a shrug. 

The room went deadly quiet at his words. 

Breaths were held and prayers were muttered. 

They were words that, under any circumstance would have gotten someone mamined--killed. 

But as he looked at you, all that flashed in his eyes was that softness which had never once left them since his arrival. He looked--at ease, almost. 

It was probably just all the alcohol he had drank that night. 

Probably all the alcohol you had been drinking, making you see things.

“Heh. Nose.” He said, bopping your nose. You watched his grin grow wider--a grin that sparked your own to cross your lips. “Sing the one ‘bout that bottle of rum that’s hard to open.” 

“Aye, aye Captain.” You said, giving him a little salute, which he wobbly gave back. 

You instructed everyone who wished to participate to form a circle, snatching the bottle of wine from Seqii before you hopped into the middle, starting the fun and upbeat shanty about a crew of pirates who find a mysterious bottle of rum floating in the sea. A bottle whose cork was too tough for the captain to open, so it was passed around and around the crew, trying desperately to find someone who could open it. 

Once the first verse was sung, setting the disastrous scene for your own crew, you passed the wine bottle to Buggy as you began singing the chorus. A chorus that spurred your captain to pass it to Emi who passed it to Esmeralda and around and around the circle of the bottle went. You followed it, skipping and hopping and dancing away as your crew joined you in singing the chorus. 

You froze as the chorus ended, the bottle landing in Buggy’s hands on a last pass from Seqii. He winked your way, making your mouth run dry as he raised the bottle to his painted lips. 

You almost forgot all about the silly little song you were singing as you watched him, but found the will in your foggy brain to sing the second verse. Buggy chugged and chugged, his throat working with each swallow of the liquid. It had your alcohol-flushed body burning up that much more. 

The girls gave another round of cheers as Buggy detached his head and hands so that the rest of his body could do a twirling dance to the music you provided. 

When the verse came to an end, his head and hands popped back into place and he quickly passed it to Emi who passed it to Esmeralda and so on and so on as you sang the chorus once more. 

Several verses later, the bottle ran dry with a hiccupping hoot of triumph from Emi, who held the bottle high as you finished the song. 

You gave a flashy bow as the girls and your captain cheered for you, blowing kisses here and there around the circle. Buggy detached a hand to pretend to catch one high up, holding it carefully in his palm as he put it in his coat pocket. 

“Thank you, thank you! I’ll see you all bright and early tomorrow morning!” A groan spilled from a few of the girl's lips at the thought of what tomorrow held in store for them. Mainly; all the chores to be done that Cabaji, no matter how hungover, was sure to have to get done.

You looped your arm through Buggy’s and let him lead you out of the room, which you took one more look over your shoulder to look at your friends in their varying states of drunkenness.

“Ask him!” Emi mouthed your way as Seqii did the simple magic trick where one pretended like they were pulling their thumb from its joint…but she had positioned her hands at her crotch with a grin so wide it almost spilled off her cheeks. 

You shook your head at their silliness and persistence to know of your private endeavors…but it had piqued your interest if not in the slightest.

The hall was chilled compared to the body-filled room you had both just been in, which erupted in more laughter as you shut the door behind you. A chill that Buggy’s body, instantly wrapped around yours, shielded you from. 

He placed a big old, smacking, wet kiss on your cheek, making your heart flutter like some caged butterfly. 

“That was so fucking sexy, songbird.” He said, words still coming out warped from all the alcohol he had drank against your temple. 

“Oh yeah? You liked my little jig?” You murmured back, turning your face to steal a glance at those eyes you couldn’t look in long enough.

“Hell yeah. Got me all hot and bothered.” His lips kissed your temple, then your cheek, before latching them onto your neck. You hooked your fingers over the back of his neck and pulled him in closer, savoring the tingling sensations that shot over your skin at his sloppy affections

“Should I do another one?” In hardly the blink of an eye, Buggy grabbed hold of your hand and in a quick, sharp movement that had you wobbly all over again, spun you around and away from him. 

“Please do another one.” He begged, eyes eating up your body as you fought to regain your steady footing. 

“Aye, aye captain.” You laughed before starting to sing an upbeat shanty as you spun and moved your body to the phantom beat down the hall and around the corner towards the stairs. Buggy followed after you, joining you in song and grabbing hold of your hands here and there to give you a little spin. 

When the song came to a close, Buggy gave a loud hoot that echoed back at him and mixed with your laughter. He was quick to scoop you up into his arms, lips finding yours in a sloppy kiss that had your alcohol-fuzzed brain going near blank. 

“Sing again for me, songbird.” He asked against your lips. You kissed him again before pulling away, Buggy giving a little whine to let you know you had pulled away all too quickly. “Did you eat dinner?” Buggy rolled his eyes, his arms snaking around your waist once more.

“Baby--”

“Baby.” You insisted, wrapping an arm around his neck. “I’ll sing for you while you eat? How does that sound?” Light lit up Buggy’s eyes as he nodded several times at this, making his face, in your drunken state, go all fuzzy. 

“I should really promote you to be my negotiator. You’re--” He gave another burp in the back of his throat that you crinkled your nose at in disgust. “Soooo good at it.” 

“Only for you, Captain.” Buggy’s grin widened and he leaned down to claim your lips in another sloppy kiss, but you were quick to place a finger over his puckered lips. “Food first.” Buggy groaned dramatically, grabbing hold of your wrist to pull your finger from his lips.

“Fine.” He gruffed, all but dragging you to the kitchen so that he could eat and get on with kissing you. 

The kitchen had been left in a state of disarray thanks to you and the girls ransacking its stores as soon as the kitchen staff left for the night. Kitchen staff you knew would set Cabaji on you all to clean it all up in the morning.

Buggy gave a groaning oof as he flopped himself onto one of the stools sitting before the island, plunking his forehead against the wood. You chuckled at him and opened the fridge.

“Why’d you come back so early, baby?” You asked, rummaging around for the leftovers you had saved from the diner you and the girls had gone to dinner at.

“I’m too old to keep up with the others anymore. Got tired.” He grumbled making you roll your eyes.

“Oh is that right? Then we should head to bed after this? Get my old man his full eight hours of beauty sleep?” You teased, grabbing your leftovers up. 

Even in your alcohol-fuzzed state, Buggy having yet to snap something back at you was strange.

Turning around, fridge door shutting softly behind you, you found Buggy’s face buried in his hands, shoulders quivering. 

Crying. 

Buggy was crying. 

It had panic and concern shoot through your chest rapidly, your leftovers abandoned as you rushed to his side. 

“Buggy? What’s wrong, baby?” You asked, smoothing your hands over his back and arm to try and get him to look at you. To comfort and console him. “D-did I say something to upset you? I’m sorry, baby, you know I don’t think you’re old--”

“I missed you.” He moaned out. His words--they more than shocked you. 

He had missed you. He had missed you so much he had left the bar early and was now crying about it. 

It was…sweet. And doing nothing for that warm, fluttering feeling invading your every sense. 

“You--you missed me?” You asked, gently grabbing hold of his hands to pull them away from his face. His make-up was done for, smudged so bad it had all but blended into his skin. His watery blue-green eyes looked up at you, only overflowing with more tears as he nodded.

“Baby I missed so much.” He whined, grabbing for your shirt weakly as if it was his anchor in the raging storm that was his emotions. “They can’t sing like you--they don’t know half the lyrics.” Tears continued to spill down his cheeks as he pulled you closer. “And--and I just--missed you.” 

You smiled kindly at him, cupping his face with your hands and wiping away each tear that escaped his eyes. 

“I’m here now. And I still owe you a song.” More tears fell from his eyes despite your attempt at comfort, his face falling against your chest as a sob shook his shoulders. 

You were trying not to laugh--not to let that giddy feeling escape your chest through a silly giggle at your captain's confession. At the discovery that Buggy was a drunk crier. 

You pulled his hat off his head, placing it on the island counter before going about taking his bandana off so that you could brush your fingers over his blue hair, which he had put in a singular braid. 

“Fucking gods I missed you.” He sobbed again, burying his face deeper. “You’re--you’re just so beautiful and too kind to me.” 

Beautiful. He was calling you beautiful.

Your heart was beginning to race with that feeling. With that overwhelming swell of that naggingly warm emotion. 

A swell that the alcohol in your system was threatening to spill. 

To spill the three words you had been struggling to hold at bay. Words that were just on the tip of your tongue--words that began to form and fal--

“And--And your tits are so soft and round and I missed them so much.” And that feeling was swapped with utter annoyance. 

“Really?” You asked, placing your hands on his shoulders to try and shove him away, but his grip on you was iron-like. 

“What? It’s true!” He moaned out mournfully as he nuzzled his face between them. You huffed, feeling just the tiniest bit hurt in that moment when you had thought you were getting a sweet, tender confession from your captain. 

“You just missed my tits? Is that all you missed?” You snapped, Buggy’s face pulled from your breast so he could show you all that sadness welling in his soul. 

“No.” He whined, resting his cheek again on your breasts. “I missed your ass too.” 

“Jackass.” You grumped, yanking yourself away from the clown who gave another pitiful moan. 

“Baby--” Buggy started, grabbing at your arms and hips to try and keep you close. You fought not to give in and fall back into his arms, especially when a wave of fresh tears were rolling down his red and blue smudged cheeks.

“I don’t think you deserve a song now, since you only missed my body” You huffed, crossing your arms and turning your head away from him. 

Buggy moaned yet again, his head flopping onto the kitchen island once more and falling off. His shoulder drooped and his arms fell off, chop-chopped into pieces on the floor. It was a pile of chop-chopped limbs that continued to grow the longer you stayed away. 

“Noooooo. I missed your voice.” He cried, his gloved hands inching their way up onto the island surface. “I missed you being mean to me and I mi-missed you takin’ care of me even when I don’t deserve it.” Those chopped hands continued to cross the wooden surface towards you like some strange spider. Fingers that brushed against your arm in a weak attempt to pull you back.

“I don’t deserve you--you’re too good for me. I’m a shitty shitty fool and you’re a perfect dove who's too bright for me.” 

And now you felt like the asshole. Because none of that was true. Because Buggy was perfect for you in every way. He was more than you deserved. He was better to you than any person you had had a semblance of a relationship with had ever been before. 

You didn’t deserve him. 

“Buggy. No. That’s not true.” You started, going right back over to the chopped-up pile he had become. Buggy was quick to pull himself back together and was pulling you eagerly into his orbit once more. 

“It is.” He cried, knuckles no doubt going white under his gloves at the tight he was holding onto your shirt. “I’m the East Blue’s biggest loser. The biggest in all the Blue Seas. You deserve someone who is better. Someone like that fucking shit-for-brains swordsman or shitty blond pretty boy.” You shook your head, gently pulling his fingers from your shirt to hold his hands tight. 

“I don’t want them. I’ve never wanted them. I’ve only ever wanted you.” Buggy shook his head and you took his chin in a gentle scoop, keeping those sad eyes on you. “And I don’t think you're a fool. Not one bit.” Doubt and self-hatred continued to bubble in Buggy's watery eyes. Emotions you never ever wanted to see shining in them. Emotions you had put there. 

It had your heart beating painfully in your chest. Had your hands sweating and blood running cold. 

You were making him cry. You are a burden to him. 

“I--I don’t deserve you.” Buggy scoffed at this, disbelief thankfully lessening those hurting feelings in his eyes. “I don’t. Before I met you--I was nothing. No one. Just an empty vessel floating around on some godsforsaken ship. A husk trapped in a cave. And now--now you make me feel--full. Like a real person. You make me feel so--so happy.”

“But you would be happier with--” 

“I wouldn’t. I know I wouldn’t because I wasn’t.” Buggy’s bottom lip quivered in warning of another body-shaking sob. You couldn’t--wouldn’t see him upset. Upset over something you had foolishly started. 

“I lo--” Your words lodged themselves in your throat. Words that had been threatening to spill from your mouth from the moment you had caught him singing your song to the night air all those weeks ago. Words your heart and soul begged to speak but your mind caged--bulling them away in fear. Fear of him rejecting such words. Words that were more than just words. 

Words that sobered you right up, letting every last bit of panic flood your chest now that the dulling fog had vanished.

Buggy’s own breath hitched in his throat. That warm look you had spied in his eyes more and more often flashing through their watery depths. A warm look that was overpowered by those hurting feelings you had been trying to save him from. 

“You are special to me.” You managed to croak out. Your heart was beating faster. So fast you were sure it was bruising itself against your ribs, making it hard to breathe. “And--and I want to be here. With you. And I don’t want you to feel that way. Not with me. Because--because you’re too special to me.” More tears fell from Buggy’s eyes and your panic gripped at your heart tighter. 

Had you only made it worse? Had you said too--

A hand grabbed hold of your jaw, pulling you against Buggy’s smudged lips. Lips that kissed you soft and sweet. 

He kissed you slowly. A slowness that spoke louder than any words he could have possibly said in that moment. A kiss that had your eyes sparking with tears right alongside his own.

You grabbed him closer, pressing your body against his as much as the stool would allow. But it was nowhere near close enough. It would never be close enough. 

Your hands moved over his braided hair, down his stubble-lined jaw, and neck. Hands you moved under his coat to try and shrug it off his shoulder so you could feel his warm skin against yours. He chop-chopped his arms from his shoulders to let the coat slip off more easily. Arms that were instantly around you once reattached, hands finding their way under your shirt.

The kiss grew more hungry--needy, but that passion never once fled. A passion that burned through your heart, which struggled to keep the balance between your fluttering feelings towards this clown, and your darkened ones. 

You felt the muscles in his arms work against your hands as he grabbed you up in them, laying you out on top of the kitchen island. 

Random bottles and bits of trash you and the girls had littered it with clattered to the ground, but it hardly mattered. Not when Buggy was trailing a wet line of kisses over your jaw and neck and the swell of your breasts. Not when he pulled your shirt up to continue to leave opened-mouthed kisses along your stomach. 

You breathed his name as he began to tug your brightly patterned pajama pants over and off your legs. 

Those sloppy kisses attacked your calves and thighs--lips that turned biting every so often and had your body sparking, mind fogging in utter lustful need. 

“F-fuck, Songbird,” Buggy spoke around a mouthful of flesh. “Always so ready for me.” You gave a shuddery gasp as a detached hand came to rest over your pelvic bone, thumb running over the thin fabric that still covered your dripping core. 

“Always, captain.” You moaned out, reaching to feel over his cheek and jaw. Those damned fingers passing over your clit, sending a jolting shock through your near-burning body. “P-please--baby, I need you, please.” You begged.

“Let me taste first, baby. Please let me taste you.” He begged right back, his kisses growing ever closer to your weeping pussy. You whimpered but nodded at his request. A whimper that turned sharp and whiny when those wet kisses were placed over your covered core. Buggy moaned against you, tongue creating a dampened patch on your underwear right above your entrance. 

“B-Buggy--please.” You moaned out, hips starting to ground against his mouth, fingers, and nose to create more and more beautiful mind-numbing frustration. Buggy cursed, that detached hand pulling away from your covered clit to start pulling your underwear down. 

They didn’t get very far over your thighs when Buggy’s tongue ran through your folds. You cried out his name, underwear restricting your legs from opening further for him and all but clamping down around his head. 

You couldn’t find the strength within yourself to stop rotating your hips against his mouth--to try to stop chasing your high long enough to loosen your grip on his head or make sure your underwear wasn’t choking him out. 

But those chop-chop abilities handled all your worries.

His head detached from his neck, freeing your legs from their awkwardly folded position and allowing his hand to finally yank your underwear from your legs, giving you the freedom to hook them over his shoulders, granting him full access to your needy pussy. 

His head popped back into place just as his tongue dipped into your fluttering core, lapping up every last bit of your ever-growing arousal in sinful slurps. 

Your fingers wove their way into his hair, messing up that braid, as your hips ground against his mouth near frantically as that build deep within you began to wind. That detached hand crawled over your stomach and found home once more over your pelvic bone so that it could rub circle after circle into your clit, winding that coil ever tighter. 

You moaned Buggy’s name like a prayer as he continued to fuck you on his tongue. As his own moans vibrated through you and set into motion that snapping release within you. 

A release that tingled through your arching spine and sent that white buzz flooding through your thighs and core, which constricted around Buggy’s tongue. 

You fell back against the counter, sweat making your skin stick to it and chest heaving up in down to catch your breath. Your fingers mused through Buggy’s hair, your thighs twitching and whimpering gasps falling from your mouth as Buggy’s tongue remained buried deep within you, licking up every last bit of your finish. 

“B-Buggy,” You moaned, yanking weakly at his hair. “Ne-need you in me. Please.” Buggy mummed in acknowledgment, sending pleasure-filled vibrations through your sensitive core. You bit your lip as he continued to eat you out--as his fingers continued to rub mind-numbing circles into your clit that had your hips and legs twitching as if to try and get away from the persistent assault of your sensitive body.

“Buggy.” You whimpered, yanking at his hair just the sharpest bit tighter. He pulled from your core then, but not without trailing his drooling tongue back through your folds one last time. You wiggled your hips against the burning feeling that shot through you. 

“M’kay, baby.” He murmured, kissing back up your exposed stomach to find your lips once more. The feel and taste of spit and your release had your mind spinning all over again. Had you hooking your legs together around his waist, pressing his hardened cock against your reignited arousal. 

You moved to fidget with his belt buckle, spurring that detached hand to help you loosen it as well as yank his pants and stripped boxers down far enough to let his cock spring free, it tapping against your sensitive clit. Buggy hissed at the feel of your slick against the reddened tip of him. 

You scooted closer, your ass all but hanging off the edge of the kitchen island so that Buggy’s cock lay flush against your throbbing folds. His lips left yours, resting his forehead on your collarbone so that he could watch as he split you open on his cock, that little whimper of his you loved spilling from his lips with every inch inwards.

You cradled the back of his neck as your walls flexed and adjusted for him, that shimmering pleasure starting that coil deep within yourself up once more. 

“Fuck, songbird.” He groaned lowly as he bottomed out, his lips kissing the valley between your breasts. “So good--always feel so good.” Your lips kissed the bit of his forehead you could reach with a stratified hum. “A-always so good for me. A-always take care of me.” He mumbled, pulling himself out to his red-flushed tip before quickly thrusting back into you, pulling a gasp from your lips.

That shimmer turned into a pleasant buzz with each snap of his hips against your own. A buzz that built with each pass of sticky, warm skin, burning lips, and biting teeth. 

Buggy’s sea-glass eyes found your own once more and you’re breath hitched at the warm emotions swirling within them. Emotions that stayed, not chased away by doubt or fear. 

“I-I--you’re special to me, songbird. You--you make me happy. Happier than I’ve been in years.” Tears pricked at your eyes. Tears you fought against but ultimately lost to. Buggy kissed them away, his thrusts slow and circling to keep you closer. 

“I--I think--” He hesitated, his breath huffing against your cheeks as he continued those shallow thrusts. Thrusts that allowed his cock to hit every last nerve ending within you, starting that white buzz you knew meant the coming of your second release of the night. “I--I missed bein’ ‘round you and it had only been a couple of hours. Fuck--you’re so godsdamn special to me it hurts, songbird.” 

You huffed against the rise of emotions flashing through you. Emotions that only swelled that much more when he nuzzled his nose against yours. When he purposely brought attention yet again to his nose. His nose he protected against insult with rage and violence--but he was letting you near it--feel it. 

He pulled away to look into your eyes again and you found tears were pricking at his own eyes once more. 

Slowly, as to give him more than enough time to pull away, you leaned in to place a small kiss to that nose of his--a nose that complemented him and one you loved. Buggy blinked, those tears rolling down his cheeks. You smiled at him through your pants, wiping his tears away. 

Your lips found his once more in a slow, open-mouthed kiss that brought you two that much closer.

That white buzz zapped through your thighs and spine and toes as it shot through down your core once more, Buggy’s name moaned into his mouth. 

He moaned your own name into your mouth, cock twitching and balls pulling tight before spilling ribbons of hot come deep within you. 

You both fell slumped against each other, taking in each other's air as heavy panting filled the air. 

“I’m…I’m sorry for cryin’,” Buggy mumbled as he pet over the bits of your exposed skin he could get at. You placed a kiss to his neck, fingers messing with his braid. 

“It’s okay, baby. Crying just means you had a good night.” Buggy gave that funky laugh of his, kissing your cheek as he made to look into your eyes once more. His smile, so bright and wide, nearly took your breath away. 

“You’re right. I did.” His lips claimed yours in a kiss just as sweet as the words he had uttered to you moments ago. 

“Hey…Buggy?” You asked once you had fully caught your breath. 

“Yeah, songbird?”

“I was just wondering…what all can you chop off?” Buggy blinked at you in thought, not truly understanding your motives. 

“Well--everything, I guess. Why--” Buggy cut himself off when he spied the mischievous smirk pulling at your lips. You clenched your tired walls around his softened cock in way of question. “Fuck, songbird.” He cursed, his pupils slowly growing larger in lust.

“Can it?” Buggy leaned so close that the tip of your nose touched his. It had your heart fluttering all over again.

“Want to find out?” He asked with a smirk to match your own. 

“Yes, Captain."

Tag List: @lostfirefly , @fanaticsnail , @empressofmankind , @fanshavegottensotoxic , @wasabiprophet , @ane5e , @synoname-wordsmith , @cefni , @solarrexplosion , @luvrsbian , @misadventures0fdes , @friedtacokitty

[pitruli]

Hey guys I'm back !! Did I miss anything bigbsincelast week ?Excuse me if my typing is all over the place right now it's part of the recovery haha I was about to infoump about the crab situation but actually that felt unes especially long so I'm gonna shorten it the best I can hahabut now, that it's finally all behind I feel the need to explain at least a bit ^^"

So you know, the jokes about having. A CRAB I had been making for a few months ?

Well it's gone now, ! Like, gone gone N!! Woohoo !

I'm trying to keep it short but^^'' warning for medical issues and surgery if you're uncomfortable with talks about these (a friend of my family almost fel unconscious when whe tried to explain everything to him, I kno it can throwpeople off quite a bit (not surprising tho,)

Back In October, just when I turned 22, hospital found out a spot we had been surv eying in my brain for more than a year was actually a (non cancerous) tumour and needed to be removed through surgery,c,

"the Crab" is just how I ended up talking about it with friends just to cope after a few days, If anything happened it was always because of the crab haha (no)

Due to being left handed, the functions the most at risk inß my brain were languages (cause apparrently it's t' s more common for left hnaded peopleto have their languangue center more to the right, ... Where emy "crab"Was spotted so to make sure nothing is dammged2 I ,I would have to be concoiuous during the surgery, so they could test my ability to speak (in Both french and English, an make sure they removed as most they can without turning me mute or something lateron haha

So sxi months of preparation laed me to last fri day’ morn.ng, the surgery itzsel f ,went all supér ell! But the concoiuous part sas ßomrrhing to go through for real, sbur honestly I'm more surprised I didn't have a break down lzst minute from axietyry an tried to escape the waiting room hahaa

I çan't eeseally draw for now , even just holding a spoon is tricky lately, but it's just the recovery process, I have to shake myself.a little and go relearn stuff by myself., So I hope tomorrow is can go and doodle for a bit and hopefully see a see progress! Other than that, language should be all normal within a few months, so don't mind me if I'm wonky at times, I'll try my best to write,well enough!!and train whenever I can

I have a mega head scar now tho! I think it's quite epic, I look like I got into some fucking wild shit haha

And the thing is totally removed btw, if it (ever,),grows back, I won't be bothered for years to come !

[msclaritea]

"Looking back, I’ve been researching this UFO crew since at least 2007, very directly. UFO cultist Steven Greer met his wife Emily in Israel studying with meditation guru Maharishi. This is all tied to David Lynch and the related transcendental meditation (TM) groups. 🧵

This relevant now because his UFO cultist cohort Dennis Kucinich is now managing RFK Jr’s presidential campaign. Kucinich ran for POTUS in 2007 on a UFO platform based out of none other than… Sheldon Adelson’s Las Vegas, NV.

John Hagelin runs the Maharishi meditation organization out of LA. Hagelin "is a theoretical physicist who ran for the U.S. presidency three times on the Maharishi-backed Natural Law Party" (1992, 1996, 2000).”

In 2000 race he was backed by the Perot faction and disrupted Pat Buchanon. In 2004 he handed the ropes over and endorsed Kucinich.

This same culty, meditation, UFO crew has been trying to run for POTUS for nearly 20 years. It continues through today with RFK Jr.

Is it a coincidence that people threatening President Biden via his son Hunter, suggesting he is “stealing the election” per a hooker they know? I don’t think it is at all. This group is assaulting the US democracy and the integrity of the office of the President.

I think they’ve been storming the US Presidential position since the fall of the Soviet Union, using propaganda, cults, misinformation, and sadly via trying to compromise the sons of US presidents from JFK to Hunter Biden.

Maharishi seems like Indian intelligence. A lot of these 1970s new age space gurus interacted with these “space love sex LSD” guru types for decades. Is it a coincidence that Howard Bloom has worked with Modhi on space initiatives for DECADES?

Is it a coincidence that I know Howard Bloom and that he and Moonie NEWT GINGRICH were advocating for a moon colony during the Trump Admin? Can I sound any… crazier? 🤣 Reality is stranger than any fiction.

Newt Gingrich trying to sell Trump on a cheap moon plan A general, Gingrich and Michael Jackson's publicist are proposing a $2 billion contest to return Americans to the moon.

Why is Jeff Bezos pushing this UFO propaganda with Harvard and the Luis Elizondo guy? See the L5 Society hippy space cult shit. Both Bezos and Newt were part of that since teenagers (I think, find the reference.) L5 Society is connected to Timothy Leary and the usual suspects.

This all looks to me like a BRICS assault on the US Presidency and space industry since literally JFK challenged us to go to the moon. End thread."

Kukral even knew these 🌙 cults would try this. What is it with all of these cults? I'll just take a wild guess the Moonies came from yet another Freemasons group and no surprise that it considers Democracy Satanic. Projection as big as the Empire State building. I can't believe it hasn't occurred to people these objects probably came from some mad scientist and his billionaire backers. That's where we are, now.

[way-ofthe-dumpling]

Blood, Sweat, and Tears.

{Music}

{TW- Violence - Blood}

A furry of fists, the thundering crowd, the thick air filled with the scent of blood and sweat. This is where Emi belonged.

After the misstep with the Searose Company, her negligence nearly costing the life of a young Archeologist, it was clear she wasn't the most welcome of the crew. Even though Sariah had forgiven Emi for not being at the site on time, the action was enough to make her an outcast to the Company, a feeling Emveah loathed. Once the rescue wrapped up Emi took her pay and split from Searose to find her place yet again, this action led her down a path that opened doors to the Brawler's Guild and her new favorite career.

This was her fourth fight, a run of victories that kept the Monk's blood burning for more, but now she was outmatched. Emveah, a lean and green thing was pitted against a massive Draenei man whose fists struck like a rockslide down a mountain, crushing everything in its path. Dodging had only done her so much, expecting such a large man to move slower and being unpleasantly surprised with his swift strikes, leaving Emveah bloody, tired, and nearing her limit as the behemoth charged in her direction.

It was a snap decision, jumping into the air and mounting the man's shoulders mid-charge, her thighs wrapping around his neck and gripping as tight as possible to choke him out all while landing punch after punch to his face as he tried and failed to pull her off. Emi's choice paid off as the man fell to his knees and passed out from the lack of air, hitting the ground with a thud and throwing Emveah across the ring and against the makeshift wall. Her head was spinning from impact as the crowd went wild, cheering for Emi's fourth straight victory.

The final fights wrapped up as Emveah got bandaged up and collected her winnings, heading out for her typical fight night drinks only to be sidelined by a familiar face, Sariah stood just outside the Guild, waiting in hopes to speak with her.

Emveah took in a deep breath, exhaling a slow sigh before approaching. "Listen I've apologized all I can. I screwed up, but I'm glad you're okay....you are okay, right?" She quarried, now worried about some lasting damages from the woman getting caught up in a trap in an ancient tomb.

"Oh yes, quite well in fact," Sariah spoke with her soft tone and a kind smile toward an unconvinced Emveah. "However, I have been trying to locate you for some time now. I heard you had left the Company and I was furious...Gave the Captain a piece of my mind until he informed me that you had left of your own accord. This troubled me you see."

"What? Why?" Emi nearly shouted in response, having been expecting anger from the woman for being the cause of her unfortunate accident. "I screwed up by sleeping off a hangover. You could have died in there and I wasn't about to stick around and hear it from the Company for three more weeks, so I dipped, but I'm glad you're okay." Emi then began to walk away as Sariah quickly moved to block her path.

"You really ought to forgive yourself, I was the one that moved in without a spotter, I was the one that cause the trap to snare and got caught inside. You are not solely responsible for what happened. Would I have been out sooner if you were there? Yes. Would I still have been injured? Yes. You mustn't place all the blame on yourself. I explained this to the Captain before I learned you were gone." Sariah pleaded, hoping to alleviate the pain Emveah had placed on herself.

"Listen, you're a real nice lady, and while I wasn't the only one that screwed up, I still fell back on some real bad habits, shit I thought I had moved past but clearly that's not the case. So, thanks for trying, but there is plenty of reason for me to be pissed at myself." Emveah then pushed past Sariah and headed toward the tavern.

"Is that why you volunteer to get beaten into a pulp?" Sariah called after her.

"It's the only thing I'm good at!" Emi yelled back at her.

Mentioned: @doc-roberts

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Seven

Words: 7.3K

Warnings: Explicit language, explicit sexual situations, violence, abuse

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"Vivian, c'mon." Fred pleads, as I grip the headboard of the hotel bed as he tugs at my ankles. 

"I'm not talking to that freaking reporter." I protest.

"Vivian."

"Rolling Stone can suck my clit." I argue back, trying to maintain my grip.

"Vivian, you are acting like a crazy person." 

"I'm pretty sane compared to the other motherfuckers." I wince, my joint in my ankle popping. 

"It's not gonna be that bad, Viv--"

"--He's gonna ask about Vanity."

"So, let him, you and Nikki already know how to handle the Vanity questions." He insists. "We spent an hour going over it yesterday." 

"Fred, I can't."

"Viv, babe, c'mon, now. Please." He begs again. "For me, please." 

I think about it for a moment, before letting go of the head board, gaining a relieved sigh from him. 

"Thank you." He tells me as I pull my heels on and smooth my hair over. 

The nightmare of that freaking Rolling Stone journalist following us around for days, picking and prodding, was everything everybody thought it would be. Possibly the deepest question he asked, about the actual craft of Mötley Crüe's talent, was, "so how is the amount of chicks you guys fuck incorporated into the songs?"

As if they would even answer that honestly being that three of them were married and one of the three had a toddler at home with his wife.

And I was particularly annoyed because me and Nikki had to act like the most in love people in the world to debunk the Vanity bullshit.

I hold my breath the second the question leaves his lips, but nobody can trip up on the inevitable topic that we knew would come up at some point. 

Nikki's clearing his throat to cover the pause after "so, obviously there's buzz going on about the bombshell Vanity dropped on the Arsenio Hall Show" leaves Cal, our reporter's, lips.

"That whole thing was just...bullshit." Nikki tells him, laughing it off, looking at me.

I laugh along, too, although we both know it's the farthest thing from funny. 

"I heard it was a 'misunderstanding' or something like that." Cal adds. 

"It's not really hard to have misunderstandings with her, honestly." Nikki admits, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. 

"So, there was never an engagement?"

"I think she's let Hollywood get straight to her head." Nikki tells him. "I'm not trying to be an ass but that really put us," he motions between himself and I, "in a really fucked position for a couple days because obviously you hear one of your girlfriends say, you know, 'hey, I'm engaged to so-n-so', and you're married to 'so-n-so', and then have that added stigma about guys like your husband not being able to commit because all the girls around and everything…" He trails off. "And, look, I'm not upset that Vivian was thinking there could've been some truth to it, ya know? But even after Viv realized it was all shit, it was all out there and people were--and still probably are--thinking that it's true. So the media is constantly, wherever we go, asking about my 'alleged' engagement and if we're still even married or got divorced a while ago and so on. And I could give a fuck about public scrutiny, myself, because I knew what I was signing up for when I started a band. I took everything into consideration, but she didn't sign up for people calling her 'stupid' and looking at her to do something, when Vanity--who has no idea what the fuck she's saying or how heavy the allegations she's throwing around are--convinces people that she's engaged to me." Nikki goes on. 

"So, Vanity was lying?"

"Vanity was lying." Nikki shrugs. 

"You opened up a little bit earlier about your past struggles with heroin--you didn't accidentally propose to her when--"

"Write this down word for word, and put it as the fucking cover quote if you want to: I, Nikki Sixx, would have to be on a high dose of pure horse tranquilizer in order to be so fucked that I'd willingly propose, or agree to get married, to Vanity." Nikki says matter-of-fact. "And that's married or single." 

I felt horrible. I wasn't happy with Vanity, I was livid with her...but I knew what it felt like to feel crazy as a result of Nikki switching the story. The drugs were already taunting her sanity, and we just fucking added to it by saying something--that so obviously happened--never happened.

We were both so full of shit.

I let out a breath as I we get off the bus when we reach the venue, needing to get away from Cal and Nikki's lies for a couple minutes. 

I catch up to Mick and Emi, who're having a conversation, Emi's girlish giggling has me raising a brow, and I feel someone tap on my shoulder. 

Tansy. 

"Fuck off." I snap at her and she looks like she's going to cry. 

"Vi--"

"--You knew she was fucking him, and then protected them by keeping it from me. Fuck. Off." I clench through my teeth. 

This is enough to get her off my back as we head inside, as Emi let's out more laughter. 

Mick and Emi--who had a husband of 6 months back home--were growing closer and closer, oddly enough. I kind of knew something was up, but of course I never told anyone. I knew Nikki would give them hell for it, especially Mick, since he specifically told him, Tommy and Vince when they hired Donna and Emi, not to sleep with them/have a relationship with any of them because, "you don't shit in your own yard." 

So I kept my mouth shut, but Nikki and the guys eventually caught on to what was happening, anyway, and he and Tommy set loose a wrath on them any chance they felt like it.

I keep my expression neutral as the guys make their way by to go on once Doc tells them it's time. 

I avert my gaze from Nikki when he walks by,  being that Cal isn't even paying attention. 

But Nikki ensures the upkeep of our facade--his hand grasping my jaw, not enough to hurt, but enough to get my attention, as he presses a solid, passionate, knee-weakening kiss on my lips. 

When he's pulling away, he looks like he wasn't quite expecting it to be that good, but he's brushing it off in no time, giving me a smirk and a wink before grabbing his bass from his tech and getting where he needs to be for set, leaving me stunned in my spot. 

Once I snap out of my little trance, I’m going to the bathroom to fix my smudged lipstick.

I let out a heavy breath as I look at myself in the mirror, taking deep breaths. “He cheated on you.” I tell myself. “He lied, he slept with one of your friends, and he cheated on  you.” I repeat, trying to hammer my level head back into place as opposed to letting it run wild with fantasies over stupid little kiss...which is easier said than done.

As I’m stepping out of the bathroom, I’m running smack-dab into Sparkie, and I roll my eyes at his mere presence.

“Sorry.” I mumble, stepping by him, only to hear him walking behind me. 

“So, I’ve been thinking…” He starts and I exhale deeply, ignoring him, until he’s grabbing at my wrist, stopping me. “...I was gonna offer you a belated anniversary present but I guess you aren’t interested.” He states, dead, sunken in eyes cutting at me. 

“I’m not interested. Fuck off.” I hiss.

“You weren’t whistling that note last night.” He echoes and I snap around, shushing him so the people around us won’t hear what else he’s about to say. He just gets this smug smile on his face.

“Oh, right, I forgot people would flip their shit if they knew Saint Vivian was interested in scoring.” He slyly smiles, his decaying teeth making me grimace. How the hell does Tansy kiss him?

“I wasn’t interested in scoring--”

“--Why the hell else would you show up to my room at three in the morning, Viv?” He cuts me short, and I let out a breath. “Unless you wanted to fuck or something…”

“You really are on drugs, huh?” I sarcastically shoot back in reference to him being so insane to think I would actually want to sleep with him. 

“I’ve seen pictures of some cute little tricks you can do.” He says again, his fingers grazing at my cheek.

“Want me to go tell Nikki that?” I ask him--knowing I honestly should because Nikki would probably kill him if Tommy, Vince, or Fred, didn’t beat him to it--and he smiles.

“Sure, why not. It’ll be the perfect conversation starter as to why his precious, purely clean wife was in my hotel room after everybody was passed out.” He whispers, his atrocious breath is purely smoke and alcohol, before he’s rubbing his hand down my stomach, nearly getting between my legs before I force him away from me, controlling my urge to hit him as I turn and walk away. 

There was no way to explain why I went to Sparkie in the middle of the night, without it sounding like I was up to no good--not just because Sparkie is the physical embodiment of “no good”, but because I actually was up to no good.

I wipe more of my tears, dotting cold water from the bathroom sink under my eyes to try to calm the puffiness before grabbing some toilet paper and blowing my nose. 

I can’t fucking sleep, once again.

I dig in my toiletry bag to see if I packed any benadryl to help me sleep...but all I see is my bottle of Nardil.

I roll my jaw and feel frustration fill me before I’m unscrewing the cap and throw the bottle at the mirror, the pills strewing all over the bathroom counter. My hand is swiping against the cold counter, knocking a majority of the pills into the toilet before I’m flushing them.

They’re just a fucking waste of money. I’m realizing now they quit working a while ago, I was just so bombarded with loving Nikki in our perfect little bubble, but now it’s been popped, and I’m crashing down from my codependent high--that was disguised as genuine happiness and the lie that my antidepressant was working--is now gone.

A deep breath leaves my lips and I wipe my tears, again, deciding to just get something to put me to sleep. 

One fucking ambien or quaalude won’t kill me. 

The last place I want to be is pacing in front of Sparkie and Tansy’s room door but here the hell I am. 

I knock on the door, quietly, hoping he isn’t completely smacked out or he won’t come answer.

When the door swings open, he’s in tattered underwear, his bloodshot eyes looking at me, confused.

The bitter smell of burning heroin and coke flows past him into the hallway, cutting at my nose, and I grimace.

“I can’t sleep.” I tell him, quietly. 

“And?”

“I need something to help me sleep.” I explain.

My skin crawls when his eyes snake up my bare legs, his tongue running on the inside of his lips.

“I might have something for you.” He grins. “What’re you willing to give for it, though?”

I’m repulsed by him, but I don’t show my disgust.

“Nikki’s got plenty of money.” I state. “I can pay you back later.” He thinks a moment, before smirking. 

“The satisfaction of giving you your first ‘big girl’ drug is enough.” He says, stepping aside, and I cross my arms and step into the room, seeing Tansy knocked out cold on the bed, her naked body looking like a skeleton.

He’s plopping his suitcase on the bed, opening it, and I feel a sick feeling in my stomach at the sight of insane amounts--in bulk--in coke, heroin--at least two different kinds, judging by what I've seen Nikki with the past few years--and a copious amount of pills. 

I'm eyeing the pills, but when he reaches for a lump of tar, and looks at me deviously, I have to hold back vomit. 

"If you want to hold up the Sixx reputation, I highly recommend this." He says as if it's a fucking joke my husband is strung out. 

My eyes dart from the heroin, to the needles in a ziplock stored in the zipper compartment of the luggage. 

"I just need a pill to help me sleep." I tell him and he holds back laughter before holding his hand up as if telling me to hold on for a second as he goes to Tansy's purse. 

I hear him open a bottle and the rustling of pills, before he's bringing me back a pill and handing it to me.

Seeing it in the light, I realize it's a tylenol. 

"Come back when you're actually fun enough to maybe keep Nikki's eyes from straying." He mocks me and I roll my jaw before throwing the pill across the room and storming out. 

I didn't get any sleep that night.

I shake away at the memory, a single, stray tear rolling down my cheek before I'm quickly swiping it away as "Dancing on Glass" booms from the stage. 

I was so fucking sad. I wish there was a way to describe it that didn't sound so mundane...but that's what it was. Just fucking sadness being suppressed constantly with makeup and a decent smile, knowing I wasn't good enough. I felt like I was living with my mom all over again.

After the show's over, we head back to the hotel with Cal in tow, shooting off questions left and right that have nothing to do with the show itself.

"I gotta go to the bathroom." Nikki mumbles, standing up and I know he's just going to get away from Cal, and decide I'd rather be trapped in a small bathroom with Nikki, than hear another question along the lines of "so what drug is your favorite?" 

As Nikki's shutting the door, I'm getting my foot in, stopping him and he looks at me confused, before reluctantly letting me in. 

We wait in awkward silence before I'm pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. 

"Don't kiss me like that again." I tell him, sternly but politely, looking up at him and he pretends to be infatuated with the sink's water knobs. "Nikki."

"Why not?"

"You know why."

"Oh, right. We hate each other, how stupid of me to forget that." He hisses. 

"I don't hate you." I quietly say, and he lets out a breath. 

"Not yet, at least." He scoffs. 

"Nikki, you fucked up, that doesn't mean I hate you."

"But you're still filing for divorce the second Doc gives you the greenlight, right?" I don't say anything. "That's what I thought." 

He slips past me and leaves me to myself, causing me to close my eyes for a moment, and glance in the mirror before joining everybody else. 

He was right. I didn't hate him, yet.

The next day the guys are due to take the cover photo for their Rollingstone issue with Cal continuing to breathe down everybody's necks. 

"Are you not worried about stomach ulcers?" Cal asks me as I take a sip of Pepsi as we wait for the guys to get dressed for the shoot, and I raise my brows at him. "You have at least three of those a day and it's unhealthy, isn't it?" He adds, trying to sugarcoat it with laughter.

"I drink more water than I do soda...would you rather me be snorting rails of coke or smoking crack or shooting heroin?" I bite and his face falls. "If I want to drink three Pepsi's a day--if I wanna drink 300 Pepsi's a day--I will." Apparently I'm raising my voice, because Doc and Fred are turning their heads in my direction and I can see them slowly making their way to me. 

"Umm…" Cal says nervously as I show no sign of easing up on him. 

"I've earned the right to drink as much fucking Pepsi I want, Cal, sorry it's not as aesthetically pleasing as Jack or vodka, or chain smoking Marlboros, or isn't as romantically tragedized as junk--"

"--Vivian." Doc starts as I continue.

"But I like it, it's not the worst thing I could possibly drink on a daily basis, and if I want to fucking drink it, I will!" 

He looks like a scared weasel, backed into a corner, his eyes wide as he leans away from me slightly. 

I didn't realize how close to him I am right now, I'm practically in his face, bitching him out over a fucking Pepsi. 

"Vivian!" Doc's barking at me.

I'm backing off, with the help of Fred pulling me away from him.

I'm surprised Cal isn't pissing his pants currently, the look on his face says he's heavily considering it. 

"Get him the fuck out of here." I tell Doc, motioning to Cal. 

"Vivia--"

"--No, who the fuck does he think he is?" I argue with Fred when he tries to calm me down.

"What's going on?" Nikki and Tommy ask, coming over here.

"Nothing's going on, alright? Vivian's just--"

"--Vivian's just what?" I snap at Doc. 

"I'm so sorry, she gets neurotic." Doc ignores me as he tries to reassure Cal and I'm slinging my soda out of the bottle, onto him and Cal, as I yell, "oh, I'm fucking neurotic?!" 

"Viv!" Doc scolds me as I throw the bottle down and it breaks. 

"Viv," Tommy starts and I snap around to him. 

"Fucking say it, Tommy. I dare you." I grit out, the look in my eyes telling him, "say anything else, and I'll tell everything about Vanity and Nikki." 

"It was a misunderstanding, alright?" I hear Cal explain to Doc.

"No, no." Fred sighs as he's keeping me from hitting Cal, pulling me away as Cal flinches to get as far from me as possible, looking at me like I'm crazy. 

"Don't leave this out of your fucking article! It might just save the entire damn thing since your fucking journalism sucks more ball-pubes than your wife while you've been out here with your nose up our fucking asses!" I throw at him, and Doc closes his eyes and gives out a deep, disappointed sigh, while Fred's tugging me to the bathroom with Nikki on his heels. 

The second the door is closed, Nikki's snatching me away from Fred, his hand wrapping around my throat--not enough to hurt, but enough to catch my attention--and he pushes me against the wall roughly, seering down at me.

"The fuck is your problem?!" He demands.

"Hey, cut it out!" Fred cuts in, separating us, glaring at Nikki. "Don't fucking grab at her like that, I don't care how fucking pissed you are, Sixx, you got it?" He points at him. "And you," he looks at me now, "I don't know what the fucking hell you are tripping on, or if you're on the rag, or what the hell kind of demon possessed you recently but you're being fucking ridiculous." He snaps at me. 

My eyes are honing in on the rosary around Nikki's neck and I cut my eyes. 

"Is that one of mine?" I ask him and he looks down at it. 

"Maybe."

"For someone who hates God you really don't mind representing him."

"It's called a mockery, Vivian, get over yourself." 

"Give it back." I hold my hand out.

"Fuck off." He replies, going for the bathroom door. 

"I said, 'give it back!'" I scream.

"And I said, 'fuck off!'" He yells back. 

"It's a fucking string of beads with a fucking cross on it!" Fred outbursts louder than either of us and we look at him. "You have like four, Viv, what the fuck does it matter? He's always worn them." He points out next and I huff out a breath. 

I didn't mind when Nikki wore rosaries or crucifixes, I knew he was kind of mocking when he wore them, for the irony of a "devil worshiper" wearing one, but even when we got bad off I didn't mind...in fact as he got worse with his addiction, I hoped the spirituality that they represented would rub off on him and snap him out of his addiction. 

It was stupid and I know better now, but Charlette Kinston was my mother. I did have a small speck of her in me, even when I tried not to.

Later that night--more like the middle of the night--I'm still unable to sleep and end up tossing and turning for hours before getting a bath, hoping the warm water will relax me and calm my racing mind. 

Once I get out and get back into bed, I furrow my brows at the sound of something weird in my room, and I quickly realize what it is. 

The unsettling sound of the door knob twisting and turning throughout the dark hotel room, catches my attention and makes my spine prickle. 

I eye the walkie-talkie on my nightstand, and reach my hand out, turning it on. “2.” I say lowly.

“What, 6 and a half?” Fred’s exhausted voice replies.

“20.” I say, which is code for "where are you?"

“101." He grumbles back, "101" meaning the hotel. "In bed. Like you should be.” He says.

“There’s someone at my door.” I reply.

“Who is it?”

“I don’t know what’s why I’m calling you.” 

“You want me to get outta bed just to come see who’s at your door, when you haven’t even checked?”

“...Good point.”

“Just look and see, and then let me know if I need to come, alright?”

“Got it.”

I get out of bed, hearing the door knob still rustling, and I tiptoe to the door, peeping out the peephole, to see Nikki, drunkenly fumbling with his room key, trying to put it in my door.

“It’s nobody, they’re gone. Goodnight.” I say to Fred.

“G’night, Vivian. Get some fucking sleep, you need it.” He adds and I roll my eyes.

“I would if I could.” I mumble, swinging the door open to face Nikki. He doesn’t say anything to me before stepping in, his bottle of wine sloshing onto the carpet.

“This key doesn’t fucking work.” He says, tossing it across the room. 

“Because it’s my room, not yours. Your key works for your room only...across the hall...where you should be.” I cross my arms as he takes another swig of his drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand when some of it trails down his chin. 

“Are you strung out?” I blurt, wanting to know whether I should be ready to fight with Sikki or not.

“No, and I haven’t fucking shot up in a long time.” He points his finger in my face. “Just been chasing the Dragon.”

“I can tell.” I state.

“I’m not high, smartass. I came down an hour ago.” He sits the wine down on my nightstand and I raise my brows. 

There’s a silent pause and I wait awkwardly for him to explain why he’s here, but as soon as I open my mouth to ask him, he’s saying, “you wanna go swimming?” I furrow my brows, confused.

“W-What?” I ask.

“You wanna go swimming?” He repeats, rubbing the back of his neck. “Like hangout or something.”

“Nikki, we’re separated. We don’t ‘hangout or something’ anymore.”

“No, but I’m not thinking straight due to the wine and heroin smoke, and you’re not thinking clearly because you can’t fucking sleep, so let’s just not think straight together--bonding experience--and pretend we’re at least friends.” He vouches, and I raise my brows, thinking about it. 

“The pool’s closed. It’s nearly 4:00am.” I tell him and he scoffs.

“We’re Sixxes, Viv, we can do whatever the hell we want.” He says it as if it’s common sense. “And it’d be nice to practice being around each other without screaming each other’s heads off.”

I give it one last thought, before letting out a sigh.

“Fine.” I relent. 

I was worried his sick plan was to drown me, and finally kill me, but soon after we put swimsuits on, and broke into the pool’s patio, I realized he was genuine about just wanting to “hangout or something” and it made me feel a little better that he missed me as much as I was missing him, even if he played it off smoother than I did at times.

“Is it cold?” I ask him as he wades through the shallow end seamlessly.

“No.” He tells me.

“Are you sure?” I question and he looks at me as I dip my toe in. “Nikki, it’s cold.” “Quit being a pussy and get in the water.” He says. “It’s not that bad, Viv.”

I dip my foot in, up to my ankle, and wrinkle my nose.

“Vivian Estine Sixx, get in the water.” He tries to hold back a laugh, keeping his stern facade. 

“It’s not cold to you because you have more body heat.” I cross my arms. 

“Are you calling me fat?”

“I’m saying you’re thicker than me.” I correct him.

“You can always take your bikini off to get used to the water quicker.” He says and I raise my brows.

“That makes no sense.” I argue.

“No, but it’d sure make me happy.” He grins and I splash him with water. 

I quickly regret it as he’s getting out of the pool, about to come after me. 

“Nikki, stop!” I whisper yell and he catches up and wraps his arms around me before hurling the both of us into the deep end. 

My body is shocked with the cold water, and the second I get my head above water, I’m gasping and shivering.

The second his head pops up beside me, I’m hitting at him.

“Jackass!” I scold him, and he laughs, brushing his wet hair out of his face. “It’s not funny.” I snap, swimming to the shallow and he follows me, still laughing.

“It’s so fun to piss you off.” He chuckles, running his hand over his face to get the drops of water from his eyelashes and I raise my hand to smack at him again but he raises his brows at me. “Fuck it off, Sixx.” He stops me before I even start.

“You started it, Sixx.” I reply, mimicking his voice. 

“What's new…" He says with a small smirk, thinking about something before the corners of his mouth fall slowly. "...I've done a lot of shit." He starts and I look at him. "Shit I'm not proud of. I don't fucking know when to just do something a little bit. I can't have a bump, I've gotta go through an eight ball as fast as possible. I can't have a drink, I gotta drink the place dry. I can't have a serious girlfriend, I've gotta marry her." He says, and I glance at him and he shakes his head. "I can't just have a one-night stand, I gotta have a fucking affair." He finishes and I lick my lips, keeping my tears back. "This might be fucked up, but I've realized I don't feel like I shouldn't have had anything with her." He says in reference to Vanity and I furrow my brows. "I just feel like we shouldn't have gotten married to begin with."

It hurts like a bitch, but I know it's the truth, because I feel the same way. 

"Me too." I admit and he finally looks at me. 

"I wouldn't change it, though. I wouldn't go back and change it." He clarifies and I smile softly, my tears unable to keep at bay. 

"I wouldn't either." I assure him. 

He stares at me for a moment, looking from my eyes to my lips, standing up straight, before leaning down. 

It's a sweet, simple kiss, that only lasts a moment. 

It took me back to our first kiss. It was odd, because when we first kissed we couldn't stand each other very much, like we couldn't at that moment in our marriage, either. I don't know if that nostalgic feeling crossed the wires in our brains to convince us to chase one last high together, but one thing led to another and got out of hand like it always tended to do with anything a Sixx did.

I grin in the mirror at him as he mercilessly pounds into me to the hilt with each thrust, my right knee hiked up on the bathroom counter, my left foot standing on tip-toes as his right hand is around my throat, his left hand holding at my waist.

My original intent was to get a shower and leave the kiss at the pool, like it was: just a kiss. 

But when we came back to his room where I had left my room key when I went with him so he could get his swimsuit on, and now I'm bent over his sink, tears in my eyes from the pleasuring pressure building up in me, the feeling of my wetness running down my legs at Nikki's doing, is something I've missed.

"Do you really fuck yourself or did you tell me that to piss me off?" He asks me, his dark eyes staring at me, causing me to clench down tighter onto him. 

"I really do." I reply as he holds himself against my cervix, causing me to grab at the counter as the delicious pain causes a high pitched groan to leave my throat. 

"Do you pretend I'm fucking you?" He questions next, deliberately slowing his pace, the friction of his skin inside my slick pussy satiating the hunger I've been feeling the past several days.

"Yes." I whimper out, my eyes rolling back for a moment. 

"Who do you imagine playing with your pretty," his left hand snakes between my legs, calloused, rough, fingers rubbing at my slick flesh, and I back back into him, biting my lip, humming, "perfect clit?" He asks me and I let out a ragged breath. 

"You." I confess, my knuckles turning white with how tightly I'm gripping the side of the counter. 

"Whose cock do you imagine stretching your tight, hot, wet pussy out?" He asks next, and I'm almost considering trying to get away from him because I don't think I can handle this much ecstasy at one time.

"You." I say again, his hand holding my throat harder in his grip, making my breathing a little shallower, but it only makes me more turned on, another wave of my juices coating his length as he starts picking his pace back up, making me cover my mouth with my hand to keep from screaming. 

"Whose name do you scream out in your pillow when you come?" He asks finally, a couple more stray tears rolling down my cheeks as my body is overcome with my orgasm, his hand taking my hand from my mouth as I moan out, loudly, "Nikki", causing him to smile proudly at me in the mirror.

Within a couple more minutes he's finishing in me, and stumbling back a little, a dopey, satisfied smile on his face, while we both come down from our sexbuzz and catch our breath, before going another round.

Nikki's said before, "you know you're addicted when you start lying to yourself about how you're not addicted."

I couldn't agree more.

But the real kicker is waking up to your husband the next morning after having sex, and the both of you pretend like you're strangers, not exchanging a single word before you grab your shit and get the hell out of their as fast as possible before anyone else realizes what happened. 

For the first time in his career, Nikki Sixx treated me like a groupie. 

And you know what? 

It was better that way, because it left no room for, "Oh, well, we had sex which means we made up so we're good now." 

We woke up, didn't look each other in the eye, I got off the floor, put my swimsuit back on so I wouldn't be naked, grabbed my key, and left without a word or a second glance.

There was nothing more to say. 

We'd said "goodbye" to our relationship, the same way we had said "hello" to it in 1981: with sex that meant nothing, but meant everything, all at once.

We're back in L.A. a couple days later, and apparently Karen got some help cleaning mine and Nikki's room up where I completely trashed it, because when we get in the house, all of our photos are back up, his awards are nice and neat on the wall, and our room looks untouched. 

The only give away that something happened is the broken mirror on the ceilings, but he doesn't seem to pay them any mind.

I guess he knew I would inevitably break something. 

I keep my lips sealed tightly together as I hear our bedroom door open, initiating Nikki to walk by with a slight, hungover, stumble, as he makes his way to the kitchen, not saying a word to me, not that I expect him to. 

He's coming into the living room a moment later, my bag of gummy worms I bought yesterday, in hand, and I roll my jaw, not wanting to start a fight over fucking candy…

...But go big, or go the fuck home, right?

"Those are mine." I tell him, pretending to be reading the newspaper I was reading earlier, and he looks me directly in the eye, opening the bag, taking one out, and eating it. 

"My money, my groceries." He states, chewing it, and I exhale.

"I'm gonna go take a walk." Karen comments, sighing as she gets up and walks to the back yard, knowing this is going to get ugly. 

"You're right. It is your money." I tell him, not arguing the valid point. "And if you keep splurging on heroin, you won't have any of it left." I add and he death glares me. 

"I'm not on fucking smack." He argues sternly. 

"You only eat sweets when you're trying to cut back smack." I say and he looks away from me. "At least you're trying to cut it, though." I mumble. 

The bag of candy is suddenly colliding with my leg as he throws it at my lap, spitefully, standing up. 

"Nikki, you can hav--"

"--It's yours. You have it." He hisses, going back to our bedroom, slamming the door loud enough to sound almost like a gunshot, causing me to jump in my seat. 

Nikki: 1, Viv: 1

I decide to shower later on, opting for the guest bathroom to avoid having to see Nikki by walking through our bedroom to get to our bathroom. 

I'm only under the running water before I hear the locked door knob twist, before loud banging on the door. 

"Vivian!" He screams on the other side.

"Yes, dear?!" I call back, annoyed. 

"What the fuck happened to my fucking cars and bikes?!" 

I raise my brows, actually forgetting what I did to his precious vehicles until now. 

"Open the fucking door!" He demands and I roll my eyes. 

"Don't you have better things to do?! Like cleaning the fermented wine--that's been rotting in the hot heat of our garage--from the interior of your cars?!" 

I hear the door knob move some more, and I peek out the curtain to see the knob twist completely, the door opening, and I see the little key in his hand.

We both stare at each other for one good second before I'm screaming as he comes for me, but I'm ducking under his arm and trying not to trip and fall on my wet feet as I scurry out of the room. 

"I'm gonna kill you, Sixx!" He threatens and I panic a little.

"What the hell is going on?!" Karen asks us, keeping Nikki back when she steps out of the kitchen to stop him from chasing after me any further. 

"She completely vandalized my fucking cars and my bikes!" He points at me. 

"I didn't touch the Jeep." I argue and he nearly shoves Karen out of the way but she holds her ground.

"I'm about to call Doc if you two don't calm down." She threatens.

"I'm calling the cops and having her ass locked up." Nikki states. 

"Do it." I boldly snap. 

"No, no, no one's calling the cops." She says, letting out a breath. 

"Do you wanna go see what the fuck she did to my fucking stuff?!" He raises his voice at her, motioning in the direction of the garage. 

"Have you stopped to think that's a result of what you've done to her?" Karen questions him and he rolls his jaw. "I know you're not used to having repercussions and consequences to your actions, but it's a simple theory called 'cause and effect'." She states and he cuts his eyes at her, probably thinking she's full of shit. "The 'scorned wife effect.' You cheat, she destroys your belongings." She finishes, giving him a quick, sarcastic smile, before stepping out of his way. "If I hear either one of you screaming, again, I'm calling Doc."

He pushes past me, and I go back to my shower. 

When I get out, Nikki's nowhere to be seen and the Jeep is gone so I assume he got out of the house for a few minutes, and when I leave our room, going to the living room, I stop in my tracks. 

I see her from the corner of my eye, in the foyer, staring at me, and I turn to fully look at her.

She looks like she's been on a binge the past few days, her brown eyes wild and body slightly jittery, her hands gripping tightly to the sneakers I let her borrow a few months ago. 

All I could do was stare at her, just knowing Nikki was going to have to come home and clean up the mess that he made.

“Vanity.” I acknowledge her, but not for long before I’m walking into the kitchen, hearing an oncoming storm approach as thunder rattles in the distance. 

I grab a Pepsi from the fridge, hearing her slowly creep into the kitchen with me, and my eyes slowly find the knife block only an arms length away from me on the kitchen counter.

Sober Vanity wouldn’t think of hurting a fly. Coked out, crazy, reckless Vanity on the other hand…

“Do you have anything to say to me?” She asks me, shakily.

“Was it good, at least?” I reply, leaning against the counter, staring at her. “When you fucked my husband...knowing he was married...was it good?”

Apparently I’m striking a chord, because she’s got angry tears coming to her eyes, her jaw clenching.

“For someone who’s all about Jesus--”

“--He came to me.” She states, shakily, and I keep my face neutral, although I feel my heart tighten in my chest. “During your time apart last year, he saw me in a Vanity 6 video, and within two hours, I was getting a call from my manager telling me Nikki Sixx wanted a date night.”

“Is that what you tell yourself to make you feel better about it?” I ask, raising my brows. “‘He came to me, I didn’t go to him’? Because at the end of the day, he’s married, and you knew he was married, and instead of turning him away, you welcomed him with open arms.” I point out. 

“Have you ever thought perhaps I’m your punishment for not appreciating him?” She asks me, a tear breaking past her lashes.

“Excuse me?”

“God punishes his children when they’re not obedient. You made a promise to God to be the best wife to Nikki you could be, and you broke that promise more than enough times.” She adds.

“So you’re saying God used you--having an affair with my husband--to punish me?” I ask her to clarify. She stays silent, looking at me with pure hatred, and I nod a little, calmly.

My glass bottle is hitting her square in the chest before I can even stop myself, a look of utter shock on her face as Pepsi splashes all over her, her hand holding at the inevitable severely bruised skin bound to form from where it made impact.

Technically, since she wanted to get biblical, I was supposed to stone her to death. Being I didn’t have any rocks, and God frowns upon such things, I opted for a one-time thing that still hurt her but not enough to kill her.

I guess Karen heard the Pepsi bottle shatter on the floor, because she's coming in, with a concerned look on her face...before her skin goes sheet white upon seeing Vanity. 

"W-What's going on?" She asks me.

"Vanity was just leaving." I state, rolling my jaw and Vanity looks at me like she's ready to attack.

"I'm not going anywhere until I talk to him." She hisses. 

I hear the front door open, and I smile at her. 

"Now's your chance." I smugly say, stepping past her, my shoes crackling on the glass as I take my sneakers from her hands, going to our room to put them up, saying, "I suggest you go to your room to avoid getting caught in the crossfire", to Karen as I pass by her. 

When I get in our room, that's when shit hits the fan. 

"You'd have to be on horse tranquilizer before marrying me?!" I hear her scream. "Huh?! You break up with me over the phone and then act like I'm crazy and embarrass me?!"

"You are crazy!" Nikki screams back. 

I hear her shriek, before the sound of skin violently smacking against skin, as Vanity barks out, "if you hate me, hit me! If you just fucking hate me so much!" 

I run in to see her hitting at Nikki while he tries to keep his patience.

"Vanity!" I scold, trying to pull her off of him. 

Her left hand is suddenly coming back in a fist, hitting me square in the eye. 

This does it. 

She's knocked to the floor, and her nose is bleeding, Nikki's fist is clenched and smattered with Vanity's blood, and his eyes have a look in them I haven't seen before. 

Vanity's now screaming and crying, kicking and clawing at him as he tries to grab her wrist to pull her up, so he instead grabs her hair and drags her out of the house.

"Nikki!" I protest, catching up to him when he's already got her down our front steps. 

He let's her go and glares at me, before he stomps back in, slamming the door, locking us both outside. 

Vanity's crying, a stream of blood running down her face, my own nose spilling red, but I can't help but crouch beside her and wipe the blood from her face and angle her head back as she sobs. 

"Just pinch your nose." I mumble, taking her hand, that's raw from slapping Nikki, and pinching it at her nose. 

I had never seen Nikki that angry. He later described his altercation with Vanity, as "hitting her like a man." 

I'm not sure if he actually hit her just because she attacked him, because I attacked him multiple times, and he never hit me--the most he did was push me, or grab my wrists or my throat, and even that wasn't enough to really hurt me, just enough to get my attention. 

I think everything was put into that single episode. 

Every time she made his life harder from the moment she stepped in to it, and even his own self-hate for letting things get the way they did between them, all the anger he had felt for himself and her were packed into that single punch. 

And none of it should have ever fucking happened.

[steeltoss]

Pre Shippuden — Shippuden Era

Ages 16 - 22. This is a continuation of the events in Hokkaido's life.

Age 16

I left off on her six month mission in Konohagakure. Backtracking a few months before she turned sixteen, she worked directly under Tsunade Senju amd had slowly reconnected with her old friends, including Neji Hyūga, Kiba Inuzuka, Ino Yamanaka, Sakura Haruno, Shikamaru Nara, and Choji Akamichi.

That being said, her sixteenth birthday was spent in the Hidden Leaf. The party was small and planned by Ino, complete with a few cupcakes and dango. This was the first birthday she enjoyed after Emi passed away.

Speaking of Emi, Hokkaido constantly worried over Ichika and often wrote letters to the younger one. After all, next year Ichika would start the Amegakure Academy.

Aside from her mission, nothing too big happened this year. Though she found out Sasuke was missing. He had become a Rogue Ninja. Okay that's pretty big but still.

Age 17

Upon her journey towards Amegakure after the six months had passed, the Kunoichi had taken it into her own hands to search for Sasuke. She strayed off the path she should have been taking to go to the Hidden Rain Village.

From here, she runs into some nasty company.

This was the first time she met Pein and Konan. And they looked like they were ready to end her.

Upon activating her sharingan, interest was sparked in her by Pein. She was spared on one condition. Well a few, but one big one.

She was to join the Akatsuki, accept the Rogue life and abandon her old life. This would mean abandoning the Hidden Rain and Ichika.

But on the other hand, maybe she could find Sasuke. She had no clue just how wrong she was. But she agreed nonetheless.

So she was taken back to the base, fron there, she met the other members.

Okay don't kill me but here's what happens when she first meets the Akatsuki: [her opinion and relationships will change over time]

Pein: Of course when they first met, she was intimidated and activated her sharingan, but being spared and hopefully brought closer to her brother, she would do anything he asked, for now at least.

Konan: Seeing her special skills, Hokkaido was intimidated but wouldn't admit so. She seems to be the only female here.

Deidara: I'm sorry Dei, but my little angel thought you were a very beautiful lady until you spoke the first time. Needless to say, she was rather shocked but admired his hair and explosives anyway.

Kakuzu: one word. Fear. This man is huge and crazy tall, also his personality reminds her of what its like to bite into a crabapple.

Hidan: she admired his dedication, but didn't like how he greeted her with “Fuck, there's another one? At least this one has a decent rack”. She punched him. And threatened his life only to find out he's immortal.

Tobi: well, he's very hyper and welcoming at least, but she wondered why he wore that mask.

Kisame: is he a man? Shark? Man-Shark? Either way, she kept a distance and admired his strength from afar.

Sasori: puppets are completely and utterly horrifying and she wanted nothing to do with this weird puppet man. Until she saw how red his hair was and her cheeks dusted a pale pink. It reminded her of someone she met a few years ago.

Itachi: . . . Her brother. Her brother, who had killed the clan was in the Akatsuki. Upon seeing him, she wondered if it was too late to leave the Akatsuki. She rurned her nose away and sighed.

Zetsu: “are you a. . . Big, adorable plant man?” i think it's safe to say Zetsu stared at her and quite possibly closed his trap around himself to save himself the embarrassment or black Zetsu threatening to eat her.

Back to Age 17

Sasuke wasn't with them, and she felt like shutting down completely. She was now at square one again. She had hoped this was her ticket to helping her brother, but ahe didnt know he didn't want help.

And honestly, you can't help someone who doesn't want any help.

Aside from her mind overworking, she now had to face Itachi as he was staring her down.

“hey, Itachi... ”

From there, the two walked around as he explained what really happened that day. She was torn. The Leaf had ordered this massacre?

Maybe she wasn't ready to go home after all.

Age 18

On her eighteenth birthday, she had spent her very first one with Itachi in nine years, and she oncr again, was crying those sappy happy little tears.

She never really expected a group of terrorists to the villages to get her gifts, yet they had.

Konan had gotten her a pair of fingerless gloves; Hokkaido appreciated the gesture because her hands were usually cold and Konan usually got things she needed or wanted anyway as the two had become closer.

Kisame had given her her very first katana, which, she undeniably adored the gesture; and she was extremely pink cheeked, she wasn't in love with him but she really liked his caring and understanding attitude.

Tobi had gotten her a mask to match his, which she never would wear; instead, she retaliated with offering to share dango with him instead. Which results in him squealing.

Sasori had claimed he didn't give a damn about things she wanted but still placed a small wooden figure of well, GAARA, in front of her; which led to the idea he had read her diary and had fully embarrassed her. But this little figure was different. Gaara was dressed as the Kazekage.

Deidara had picked her up some paint; remembering she hsd spent endless nights she couldn't sleep to paint her ceilinv and walls, and was out of it.

Zetsu uh, well, gave her a few seeds for flowers. It was for a joke since he figured she would never use them, but she held o to them. Just wait. These gifts will be brought up later.

Kakuzu, and i can't stress this enough, didn't do shit.

Hidan, on the other hand, tried offering immortality if she converted to jashinism.

Itachi had saved his for last. He had gotten her a journal and pens, as well as her stuffed panda from Amegakure.

A part of being an official member of the Akatsuki meant missions. And she had completed several, but what made her panic would be the one where the hunt for Jinchuuriki began.

It was a silent battle with herself. She had already dedicated herself to the Akatsuki but she knew two Jinchuuriki. Gaara and Naruto.

The day Gaara's One Tail was extracted, she covered her mouth upon hearing those certain words.

“He's dead”.

As if she had been hoping her life wouldn't get worse, she had already made up her mind. She really, really despised Deidara now. And she knew she would be killed if she straight up abandoned post.

However, on her next solo mission, she managed to leave a scroll for the Hokage and wanted word passed silently between the Five Kage's. She was playing both sides as of now, but desperately wanted out.

Would they believe her?

No. Not yet at least.

Age 19

Silence. She had succumbed herself with silence, almost like a vow she had taken. Deidara, Sasori, they were dead and war was coming.

She promised herself she would hate Deidara for what he did to Gaara, but she couldn't help but feel pity. Deidara was only a teenager when he died. [I think he was nineteen?]

With the Fourth Shinobi War coming, she was scared. Having no idea what to even do, Hokkaido assumed she would die.

Because I'm a lil bitch, I'm making you wait until she turns 20 for more details.

Age 20

The Akatsuki was no more. Almost all had died, and Hokkaido felt a slight empty feeling in her heart as she sat in front of the Five Kage's.

This was judgement. Would she be allowed to repent and become a better person or be banished forever, or die? Her mind was going wild.

Though, she couldn't help the feeling of ease as she saw Gaara, the Kazekage and boy she used to know, standing and perfectly fine.

“During the time of my extraction, I could see she wanted nothing to do with the Akatsuki organization. She looked almost forced to be there”.

The words Gaara spoke made her face turn pink and look away. Why was he trying to help her when she had fallen into the wrong group of people?

As if she hadn't already felt like she had succumbed herself in a repetitive cycle of falling for Gaara each day she thought about it, him helping her only dragged her deeper into the pit.

And Kami, he was so beautiful.

“and I'd like to offer that if you don't trust her, that's fine. She can return to Suna with me and Kankurō. She can build herself from there”.

So she moves to Suna and begins working on herself as a person, much of the things she had thought about was the very questions Gaara had asked along the way.

“why help me?” she had asked, the gaze he gave her was hard but he responded with: “you aren't the only one who was in the wrong. It would be wrong of anyone to not let you change yourself. I was given a chance and was once feared and hated, so can you answer this for me, do you wamt to live? Do you want to start a new beginning? If so, keep walking with us”.

And so she walked.

Age 21

Life in Suna was much different than the Hidden Rain or Leaf. Not many people would contact her or look her way for the first few days. After all she was an outsider and reformed terrorist.

Hokkaido had grown close to Temari once more, as well as Kankurō. These two, when free, helped her with the adjustment.

Hokkaido had left Amegakure behind, the ache in her heart subsiding as she realized Ichika had grown into a decent young child and chose to not become a shinobi, considering shinobi had too many hardships and heartaches to deal with.

As for Gaara, the two often spent time gardening and cultivating cacti.

Something from the past had finally been planted. The flower seeds Zetsu had given her way back on her birthday spent with the Akatsuki.

The katana that Kisame had given her was placed on a display.

Her Traditional Japanese Sword Display

The katana which is the most recognized full sized samurai sword and is often the first piece in any collection. It sits at the bottom and has a beautiful violet ito handle wrap.

The second would be the wakizashi which is a mid-sized sword that resembles the katana and the ito handle wrap was midnight blue.

Then the third which is a tanto. The tanto is the shortest of the swords or in many examples can be as short as today's standard survival styled knife. The ito wrap is black.

This is an example of how the stand is:

Age 21

The mask Tobi had given her had brought up bitter memories and had long sense been tossed into a storage box.

Her fingerless gloves had been destroyed during the war, but since she used them for swordplay, Temari had gotten her a new pair as a gift.

The wooden figure Sasori had given her of Gaara was more or less embarassing since she lived with the sand siblings and had hidden it away in the storage box.

Her panda sat on her bed, displayed and untouched except for during the night.

Age 22

Upon the next year, Hokkaido watched as relationships blossomed between many people, marriages and children coming into the world, she began wondering if she would ever have something like this in her own life. She highly doubted it.

Having been back and forth from Konohagakure, she grew closer to Shikamaru once more from childhood as she often joined the male and Temari on days they'd spend time together.

Other times, Hokkaido would stick to Kankurō and help with making puppets, she rather enjoyed painting them.

And occasionally, when Gaara was free, the two would still garden together and had began talking more, sometimes the two would even go out to the village and walk around together.

Her feelings for Gaara seemed to only hrow stronger as she had grown older, and she imagined herself having a future with him. It always made her heart hammer and her face turn blood red.

This year, she had cut most of her hair off to her shoulders as it had grown too long. She soon admits her feelings to Gaara, unsurprisingly, he was silent.

She most definitely assumed she blew it, but nearly a week later, Gaara had shyly asked if she would allow him to court her.

This was most definitely the beginning of a new and beautiful relationship.

I'll pick up with pre boruto - boruto era soon. Though im not sure if these are even good. @temarihime @thefifthkazekage @how-troublesome @houndninja

[socksual-innuendos]

Fallout OC Companion Meme

Ok so I’m redoing this and adding perks and personal quests. General is up top, companion quest is under cut.

Name: Emilia Vazquez

Location: Atomic Wrangler

Emilia can be hired as a companion after completing the side quest “Strangers in the Fight”

(art by @courierspikeee​)

Companion Wheel

I think we should travel together: “Oh, you really want me to come along? No promises I’ll behave.”

Use Melee: “So you want to see an old lady get her ass beat. Haha, so would I.”

Use Ranged: “Don’t worry if I disappear, you don’t have to see me to know I’m still around.” /  “Good idea, the further I am the better I work.”

Open Inventory: “Ayayay! Use your own pockets and don’t bum off me!” / “Ah, the Lord has blessed me with a companion that will carry my shit for me— no? Well, worth a try.”

Stay Close: “Trust me, you do not want me up your ass”

Keep Distance: “Listen, whatever you’re smelling, it wasn’t me”

Stealth: “Aah, my specialty.”

Back Up: “Oh? You want to stand here? Fine.” / “My knee only works in so many directions, mijo/a”

Be Passive: “Your call, but when things get hairy I’m doing best for me.” / “If I hear shots, I will start shooting. Never doubt this.”

Be Aggressive: “Shoot them before they shoot us? That’s the most sound thing I’ve heard from you.” / “Good, they’ll be dead before they even know we’re there.”

Use Stimpack: “You ever need anything stronger, hahaha, you let me know...” // “Aaah...I could use another of those.”

Wait Here: “If that’s what you want. No promises I’ll still be here when you come back.” // “If I bore you, just say so.”

Follow Me: “Oh so now you want me back.”

Send her to the Lucky 38: “Perfecto. I’ve been wanting a shower.”

Send her Home: “Alright, you know where to find me.” (can be found in the atomic wrangler)

Injured: “Aagh, my other knee—!” / “I’m not getting paid enough for this...”

Death: (before personal quest) “I can’t...not yet...” / “Aaah, sorry Camila.” -- (after personal quest) “Always knew I’d die on the job—“ / “Mi renacuajita— mama will see you soon.”

Aggression: aggressive

Confidence: brave/foolhardy

Assistance: helps friends and allies

Perks

Like the other companions, Emilia has a starting perk that is replaced by another depending on how the player completes her personal quest.

Desierto salvajísimo: Weird things happen in the desert and with Emilia by your side they just got weirder! Something was definitely in that peyote...(Compounds on Wild Wasteland perk.)

Should the courier convince Emilia to apologize to her sister, she will gain Thy Brother’s Keeper perk.

Thy Brother’s Keeper: When the player falls below half health, Emilia will prioritize enemies around the player and gain a 25% damage increase.

If the courier convinces Emilia to let go of her sister, she will gain the Gone Rogue perk.

Gone Rogue: Stealth kills now do 25% more damage and enemies lose interest faster while sneaking. 

Drops

El Silbón - Emilia’s sniper rifle. Unscoped shots have a 25% increase to critical chance.

Tattered Journal - A small journal that contains memoirs and recipes. Who is it for?

Froggy Grenades - Smoke bombs painted to look like frogs. Activating them will halve the chance of limbs being crippled and lower time it takes for enemies to lose sight of the user.

Quests and Recruitment

Strangers in the Fight

“You’ve been tipped off about an assassination that is suppose to happen tonight at The Aces. You aren’t sure who the mark is, but you’d gain some reputation and caps if you prevented their death.”

The courier can approach this quest in two ways. Either they hunt down the assassin or figure out who the mark is and warn them. Should the courier try and hunt down the assassin, they will be knocked unconscious backstage and fail the quest. Should they chose to investigate and warn the mark, the mark will thank them and leave The Aces that night. Later, the courier can find the mark dead in an alley the morning after they complete the quest. In either case, the quest will complete and the next time the courier enters the Atomic Wrangler they will find Emilia. Walking close enough to her will trigger an audio clip where she drunkenly berates the courier for causing trouble ‘the other night’. 

Talking to her will give the courier a few options of dealing with her. Without perks, the courier can initiate dialogue that will lead to either recruitment or casual conversation. Recruiting can be done in two ways, either the courier can hire her for 300 caps or pass a speech check of 55. Passing the speech check makes her a permanent companion and allows the courier to access her personal quest, while hiring must be repeated if the courier dismisses her. If her health drops too low while on the road, she will dismiss herself and return to the Wrangler. If the courier has the terrifying presence perk, they can start a bar fight with Emilia in which killing her will not net a large loss in karma.

When she is recruited as a permanent companion her personal quest becomes accessible. To trigger it, the courier must complete quests for the ghoul Camila found in The Aces. The quests can be completed prior to recruiting her, but they must be completed to Camila’s approval. Once Emilia is recruited, a new quest from Camila will be available. Completing it requires Emilia to be in your party and when turning it in Camila will comment how her sister “Can’t seem to stop looming” and needs to let her “find her own way”. She will request that the courier doesn’t bring her around the Tops again, but thank them for their time. Officially, this is the start to Emilia’s personal quest.

 A Tale of Two Sisters

“It seems as though Emilia is experiencing some family troubles. She’s not the type to open up about things, but if you travel with her she may let details slip. Keep her in your party and don’t push things.”

To do Emilia’s quest, the courier must keep her in their party when completing certain quests around the Mojave. Quests do not have a specific order to be completed in, however turning them in before acquiring Emilia as a companion will lock out completing her personal quest.

In Memoriam

“Elaine and her family are survivors from a Legion raid. Lately her eldest son has been closed off and she’s worried it’s because they left his father’s possessions behind while evacuating. Head down south to their old farm and see if you can find anything to bring back.”

Within the Bitter Springs camp a refugee named Elaine can be found. Talking to her reveals that she is worried about her son, who has been closed off since they evacuated their ranch. She says although their family was lucky enough to get away in one piece, she had lost her husband a few years prior. Their son was particularly close to him and he would often ‘talk’ to him after his passing. Since coming to Bitter Springs, those talks have lessened and he’s grown more distant. She suspects that their abrupt move caused some disconnect. Go down to what remains of their ranch and find something of her husband’s to bring back.

Heading southeast of Novac, the courier will eventually find a pillaged farmhouse. Going inside, the courier can pick up either a journal, a pocket knife, or a charred Dinky Dinosaur. Taking any will complete the objective, but each gives a slightly different dialogue when returning to Elaine. She will explain the value behind each item and thank the courier for their help. The quest will complete but to trigger the dialogue with Emilia, the courier must talk to Elaine’s son. He will recognize the courier and thank them, opening more dialogue options to talk about his father. Completing all dialogue paths and then talking to Emilia will allow her to comment on the boy’s outlook of grief. She will chastise how freely he talks about his father to the strangers, saying that loss can’t be fixed by just remembering someone and how it isn’t worth upsetting oneself again. The courier can respond to her in two major ways. They can either agree with her, saying that repressing grief is the only way to reign it in or they can try to convince her that closure sometimes requires vulnerability. 

Take Us Back

“Change is nature. Some accept what life hands them, while others push back.”

Take Us Back can be a quest obtained by talking to a server named Charlie in the Ultra Lux. When talked to, the Courier can chose a dialogue path where she will tell them that she heard the news about Primm and that she is glad the town is now safe. Talking with her more, she will confess that she is worried about a friend who lives in Primm and that she has yet to hear from her since the attack. The Courier can then offer the check up on them, to which Charlie will express surprise that they would be willing to be so charitable with their help. The Courier can say they are either happy to help, or that they weren’t intending on doing this for free. Charlie accepts either option, and the Courier receives the quest Take Us Back.

The quest will take the Courier to Primm where they will meet Atta and her wife. The Courier can tell Atta about Charlie and her concern, to which Atta will say that she intended on sending a letter but that she had missed the last courier that came into town. She will be grateful for Charlie’s concern and that the Courier came to check up on them. Atta will then ask that the Courier take her letter back to Charlie, and will give them a small amount of caps for their trouble. The Courier can then pass a barter check to get more caps from Atta. If the Courier talks to Emi after this exchange, she will sarcastically mention how sweet it is that the Courier is passing notes around in class.

Upon returning to Charlie, she will read Atta’s letter and grow annoyed while reading. The Courier can then inquire as to what is upsetting Charlie. and Charlie will then bitterly remark that Atta always mentions her spouse, how those two are inseparable, and that it is the spouse’s fault that Atta moved to Primm. The Courier can then tell Charlie she needs to reevaluate herself and to pay up which will end the quest, or they can pry further. If asked, Charlie will admit how much things changed since Atta met her spouse, and that she has always been bitter at being second place since. She will then make a comment about how if she could get rid of the spouse, things might go back to how they were. The Courier can ask how serious she is about that comment, and she will mention that if she could find an assassin, she’d be very serious. The Courier then has the option to accept her offer, or lie and pretend to accept her offer. 

If the Courier chooses to lie, they are given the option to tell Atta about the plan. Although she will not believe it at first, the Courier can pass a small speech check that allows them to convince her. She will be shocked, but thank the Courier for warning her. If the Courier takes the job they can kill Atta’s spouse anyway they chose so long as they do not get caught and do not kill Atta. Either choice requires the Courier to return to Charlie and tell her what they have done. Both choices lead to Atta sending Charlie a letter, though what is said will differ.

If the Courier decided to tell Atta, her letter will tell Charlie to never contact her again, and Charlie will become angry at the Courier for lying. Whatever the Courier says, Charlie will remain angry, and tell them to leave. After, if the Courier talks to Emi, she will joke that Charlie had it coming for being so trusting of strangers and that she should have been smarter about interfering with others’ lives. The Courier can either agree, which will end the conversation with Emilia laughing, or they can explain that people have lives outside of others and that should be respected. 

Should the Courier follow through with the assassination, Atta’s letter will tell Charlie about her loss, and that she is considering coming to stay with her a while after funeral preparations are made. Charlie will thank the Courier, saying how glad she is that things will go back to normal after this. The Courier can talk to Emi afterwards, and she will make a comment about how she’s seen similar scenarios in the past, and that they never work. If the Courier asks what she means, she will say that murder can be a tool to fix things, but often its just a wrench being thrown at a broken water pipe. She will then say that she can’t blame Charlie for feeling the way she did, that she too understands what it feels like to have someone slip away, but she will be critical of how Charlie handled the situation saying that its better to prevent change before it happens as once it does things hardly return to how they were.

Friends Like These

“Problems don’t have to be dealt with alone. In times like these, it is nice to have friends.”

This quest requires that the Courier has taken Raul through his personal quest. It doesn’t matter which path Raul took so long as Old School Ghoul is completed. Travelling with Emi for a while after completing either Take Us Back or In Memorium will trigger her to talk to the Courier. She will say that she’s enjoyed their company despite not being fond of companions and will mention how travelling has been her entire life. She will then go to say how things seem to be coming to a slow in her life but that she isn’t quite ready to retire yet, and the thought of such an abrupt change leaves her anxious. Emilia will then joke, asking if the Courier could ever see her living a mellowed life, and the conversation will end. 

Later, with Emilia as a companion, if the Courier talks with Raul a dialogue option mentioning a friend will appear. Choosing this the Courier will tell Raul about Emilia and he will joke about the introduction, asking what brought it up. The Courier can say that they thought those two would get along, and Raul will make a few more jokes. Ending the dialogue here will progress the quest, though a few more options will be present. After, Emi will comment on the introduction, joking that she can find her own hookups. The Courier can then say that if she is worried over retirement, to talk to Raul. She will consider this, and thank the Courier for remembering their conversation. After a time, Emilia will talk to them, again thanking the Courier for introducing her to Raul. 

Completing a Tale of Two Sisters

Once the courier has completed the three quests, Emilia will ask to talk with them. If the courier accepts, she will inquire about them, asking if they’ve ever been responsible for someone before. The courier can say yes, no, or that they don’t remember, and Emilia’s response will depend on what is chosen. Ultimately she will come back to asking the courier what they thought of if they weren’t needed or wanted. The courier can ask if this is about her sister, and Emilia will get defensive, but confirm that is who she’s referring to. The courier can ask for details, and Emilia will tell them how she has been responsible for Camila’s well being for most of her life but recently she has been asserting her independence more and more. Emilia confesses that while she knows her sister will have to survive without her and is glad that she is finding her own way, she herself feels lost. The courier can then pry more, and Emilia will admit to expressing her frustrations through anger at her sister and that this is causing the strain on their relationship. If the courier tells her to apologize, Emilia will get defensive and end the conversation, but if they say that perhaps their relationship is coming to an end, Emilia will sadly acknowledge it and ask to be left alone. Later, regardless of what was picked, Emilia will ask the courier if they meant what they said. The courier can either say yes or change their answer. If the courier confirms that they think she should apologize Emilia will thank them, saying that she will need to think more on what to say to her sister. If the courier reassures her that all relationships eventually see a close and that this might mark the end for theirs, she will reluctantly agree with them and say that she needs some time to come to accept this. 

Depending on what the courier chose, Emilia will gain a new perk. If the courier tells her to apologize, Emilia will gain Thy Brother’s Keeper perk. Later, the courier can talk to Camila in The Aces and she will thank them for their help, saying that she’s ready for both of them to start healing. If the courier tells Emilia to let her sister go, she will gain the Gone Rogue perk. Camila will not be in her usual spot in The Aces after this and if the courier asks Tommy Torini about her, he will mention that she has asked for time off. 

El Silbón

“Legend tells of a lost spirit who wanders the world searching for revenge. His presence is only announced by a whistle.”

Upon killing Camila, the courier receives this quest with no map marker. If the courier had Emilia in party while attacking her sister, she permanently leaves the courier and can no longer be found at The Wrangle. For the rest of the game, the courier is being hunted. Emilia becomes a hostile random encounter that does not make herself known aside from a quiet whistle before she attacks. She will not stop attacking until the courier is either dead or they drop her health below 2/3, in which she will drop a smoke bomb and disappear. Emilia will continue to hunt the courier down until she is dead. Hiring a companion will lower her encounter rate, however if she is aggroed by more than one NPC she will try to escape. Upon killing Emilia, she will have three special items on her possession and two randomized chems. Her special items are her sniper rifle (El Silbón), a Tattered Journal, and Froggy Grenades.

Ending Slides

If Emilia dies (and El Silbón is not activated)

The life that had claimed so many had finally met its end, but for all Emilia’s infamy there was still one who mourned her. Camila grieved for her sister and all the things that were left unsaid between them but, refusing to let loss consume her, continued singing at The Aces. 

If Camila is killed (and Emilia is not killed in El Silbón)

The Wasteland doesn’t discriminate in which lives it takes, and neither did the Courier. Camila, killed within the safety of New Vegas walls, left behind a distraught sister. Unable to handle the loss of her only remaining family, Emilia was overtaken by grief. She squandered what caps she had at the Wrangler and when her debts became too much to repay she was found overdosed in a Freeside alley.

If Emilia is killed in El Silbón

With nothing else to live for, Emilia hunted the Courier down. The murder of her sister was a trespass to be repaid in kind, but the assassin was not invincible. Unable to best the Courier, Emilia fell in battle. For all her anger and pain, she could finally find peace in death.

If Emilia’s personal quest is never completed

Despite all that the sisters had been through, New Vegas had strained their relationship like none before. Camila, though wishing to assert her independence, could not shake the control her sister had on her life. Once their business in the Mojave had been completed, Emilia left the Courier’s company, uprooting her sister once again to wander the Wastes. Although she had once held hope for a future, Camila no longer felt that ambition and remained silently by her sister’s side.

If the Courier sides with Legion and...

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her to make up with her sister

Seeing that the Mojave was no longer safe, Emilia uprooted her sister one last time. Fleeing north, then east, Emilia’s age caught up to her when the pair reached Indiana. Still determined to keep her sister safe, she pushed on further until they reached the Ohio-West Virginia border where the two were then ambushed by raiders. Overwhelmed by their numbers and worn from her travels, Emilia fell in battle with her sister following suit.

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her that she and her sister should part ways

Despite the courier’s words that their paths were diverging, Emilia would not let her sister remain in New Vegas when the Legion took the Dam. Uprooting her once more, Emilia led her sister north, then east. Determined to not be controlled by her sibling any longer, Camila fled when the pair reached Minnesota. With her age catching up to her, Emilia was unable to track her sister down. Camila had finally found her freedom.

If the Courier sides with NCR and...

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her to make up with her sister

Although NCR occupation of Vegas did not sit well with Emilia, it assured that her sister would remain safe. While Camila would go on to be a beloved addition to The Aces, Emilia’s infamy grew with the NCR forcing her off The Strip. Undeterred by her bounty, the assassin would often sneak back into Vegas to enjoy the night life, frequenting The Tops to hear her sister sing. 

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her that she and her sister should part ways

Although NCR occupation of Vegas did not sit well with Emilia, it assured that her sister would remain safe. Employed at The Aces, Camila was able to support herself and was a welcomed addition to The Tops. Taking the Courier’s words to heart, Emilia slipped out of her sister’s life, allowing her the independence she so desired.

If the Courier sides with House and...

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her to make up with her sister

With Vegas safe from either NCR or Legion influence, the sisters could focus on resolving things between them. Emi, realizing how much independence meant to her sister, finally eased the grip she had on her life. The two were able to come to an understanding and for the time being the pair could call Vegas home.

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her that she and her sister should part ways

With NCR and Legion no longer a threat on Vegas, Emilia could finally take the Courier’s words to heart and slip from Camila’s life. Although no longer side by side, the sisters both remained in Vegas. Camila continued singing at the Tops while Emilia continued her work and havoc in Freeside. While Camila grew to be a beloved addition to The Aces, Emi went on to grow infamous, leading her to being incarcerated several times.

If the Courier makes New Vegas independent and...

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her to make up with her sister

Along side New Vegas, Camila celebrated her own independence. Now free to follow her own path she became a beloved addition to The Aces. Emilia, though still afraid of what the future would hold for them, proudly watched as her sister blossomed. For the two siblings, Vegas could be called a home.

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her that she and her sister should part ways

With Vegas free to rule itself, Camila continued her career at The Tops.  While happy for her sister, Emilia took the Courier’s words to heart and removed her presence. But, no matter how far she traveled Emilia would find herself back on The Strip, sitting in the crowd at The Aces listening to her sister sing.

[madamsixx]

Beyond The Leather Chapter 78: Who Am I Talking To?

Wednesday, December 20th, 1989 Pittsburgh Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

"Thank you Pittsburgh, we love you!" Vince shouts at the wild crowd chanting Crue.

We run backstage sweating and panting. This was our last show of 89. We are heading home for the holidays.

"Shit I'm so fucking tired." Tommy breathed out while using a cloth to wipe his face.

"Same fuck." Vince huff's as he drops himself on the couch in the change room.

"Here." Mick walks over to us handing each of us a water bottle.

"Hey boys you excited." Doug smiles walking into the room with Fred walking in behind him.

"Excited for what?" Tommy asks.

"For the Christmas break." Fred says with excitment. "I finally get to get away from you fuckers."

"Haha very funny Fred." Vince chuckles sarcastically.

"Man I can't wait to see my family. This tour is exhausting." Doug groans.

"You're exhausted?" I question looking at Doug. "We're the ones playing every night."

"Yeah well still, keeping you guys in check is extremely difficult." Doug says as he walks and sits by Vince. "So what are you guys doing for the holidays?"

"Ugh, I have to spend Christmas with Heather's family." Tommy says dryly.

"Is that a bad thing?" Vince chuckles.

"Well kind of, they can be annoying some times. Especially her mom, her and Heather are always nagging me."

"What about your family?" I ask.

"Her family and my family are coming to our house. Heather wants me to clean up and help her cook. As if I know how to cook." Tommy shrugs.

"I don't know why she would trust you in the kitchen, drummer. I wouldn't eat anything you cooked, I'd rather starve to death." Mick speaks up.

All of us start laughing. Tommy throws his cloth at Mick and he grins and swats it away.

"What about you Vince?" Doug leans back on the couch looking at Vince.

"Me." Vince grunts and leans back on the couch as well. "I'm going to spend Christmas with Sharise's family."

"What about your kids?" Fred asks.

"I'm going to see Neil, but I can't see Beth. Elizabeth won't allow me to see her. She's keeping her away from me. I'm hoping that me and Sharise can have a child togther soon."

Doug patted Vince on the shoulder. I felt bad for Vince. He was always complaining that Beth would on purposely tell Vince to come see Elizabeth on the days that he was out on tour just so he wouldn't be able to see her. She wanted his money but didn't want him around. I hope he gets to have a child with Sharise.

"Well at least Sharise wants kids with you. Heather won't even talk about children with me." Tommy frowns.

"Give her time Tommy she'll come around." Doug says.

"She's had three years now. It's going to be four when we reach May of next year." I point out.

"Exactly." Tommy sighs.

"Well, since we're talking about families. I'm meeting Emi's family for the first time." Mick speaks.

"Good for you Mick." Fred nods. "I'm spending time with Jess's family for the first time."

"Ouuu Fred you and Jess getting serious?" Tommy chuckles.

"He's got googley eyes for her." Vince laughed.

"Yeah, I do." Fred smirks. "It's about time I settle down instead of fucking around like you clowns."

I listened to the guys talk and laugh about spending time with families and loved ones. I felt bad that I didn't have a family to talk about. I was hoping that no one would ask me any questions. It would make me feel worse.

"So what about you Sixx?" Doug looks at me.

"He's obviously going to be with Mani." Vince chuckles.

"Bitch." Tommy sneers under his breath thinking that I didn't hear him.

After he says that, the room goes silent. All the guys look at me with wide eyes and shock.

"Tommy!" Fred growls. "That's not cool."

"Don't speak about her like that." I move from the table and walk towards him. "Seriously Tommy leave it alone."

"What? I'll never forgive or like her for what she did."

"That's fine if you don't wanna forgive her or like her. But fucking respect her Tommy. She's my girl!" I raise my voice.

"Oh I'm sorry Sixx." Tommy touches his heart turning to me. "I didn't mean to disrespect your girl who can't even tell anyone about you guys relationship." He snarled.

"Tommy enough." Mick speaks up.

"Enough of what?" Tommy questions. "We all know that their relationship is in the closet. I feel sorry for you man." Tommy smirked and shook his head. "Can't kiss, hug, or hold hands in public."

"And you can't have children with Heather." I spat. "Cause she probably knows that you're still sticking your dick in different holes."

"Fuck you Nikki!" Tommy yells.

"Alright boys enough!" Fred yelled. "Change and let's get the hell outta here! I'm tired of your shit!"

I back away from Tommy. I walk to the side and grab my bag and walk out the door.

On the jet..

I sat in a seat alone writing in my notebook. I've been writing a lot of poetry and stories since I left rehab. It's been keeping my mind busy, especially from drinking.

"H..hey dude."

I looked up to see Tommy standing by me rubbing his hair. I scoffed and went back to writing completely ignoring him.

"Can I please sit?" He pleads.

I shrug but continue to write, I'm not sure what he wants to talk about. I'm pissed at him after what he said about me and Mani. It's clear that he doesn't support my relationship.

"So uh, what are you writing?" He asks hesitantly.

No response.

"You uh, writing new lyrics." Tommy says nervously as he starts using his fingers to drum on his thigh.

No response.

"Sixx c'mon, please can we talk?" He pleaded.

I sighed and looked up at him then closed my book.

"Talk."

"Ok, well I'm angry at Mani because she shit on something that was special to Heather. And on top of that she nearly killed you Nikki. That was uncalled for."

"Tommy." I leaned forward so I could be face to face with with him. "I am sorry about Heather, ok. I apologized before and I'm still apologizing now. I know Mani feels bad about it too. But you need to let it go."

"It's hard for me to let it go." Tommy huff's leaning back on the couch.

"When you first brought Heather around us. She looked at me like I was shit, and she would always make snide remarks about me and the band. I tolerated it because you loved her."

"Yeah, you did." Tommy frowns.

"Look, I was mad at first when Mani did that to me. But in a way I deserved it. And if I'm being honest, I'm glad it happened. Because it brought us back together and helped us to talk about the things in our past that we never resolved."

He nodded his head and turned away from me.

"Tommy I love her, and I'm trying to stay on this positive path. I'm balancing staying sober, being in a secret relationship with Mani, these new emotions, touring, fighting with Brandi for a divorce, and you."

"Sixx-"

"Listen, if you can't let it go and forgive her than we can't be friends. Because I can't allow you to speak about her like that. She means a lot to me."

"So what are you saying?" Tommy mumbles and looks at me.

"I'm saying...that I'm choosing her."

It went silent for a long time. I could see it in Tommy's eyes that he was a bit upset. I hate to do this to him because we have been best friends since 81 and he is my terror twin. But this relationship with Mani means a lot to me. She trusts me, she loves me, and makes me feel good about myself. I want things to go further with us and I... actually.. we can only do that by keeping the negative people away.

"You really love her huh?" Tommy looks up at me with a sad face.

"I do Tommy, she means the world to me. She forgave me after everything I put her through, so that has to mean something worth fighting for. I don't want to lose any chance of happiness."

Tommy nodded his head slowly and rubbed his neck.

"Sixx, you're going to get mad at me. But I have to tell you something." Tommy says with a nervous look on his face.

"Please don't tell me you did something stupid." I let out and amused groan.

"Well...it could be considered funny." He shrugged chuckling.

"What is it?"

"I uh..I sent Mani a coke bomb on her birthday when she was in paris." He mumbled lowly.

"Tommy." I groan and slide down in my seat.

"Sorry I was still pissed off." He waved his hands. "But I'm not anymore, I see how happy she makes you and I feel bad for saying rude things about her infront of you."

"It's fine." I sigh and sit back up. "Just from now on I need you to be nice to her. Considering how much I hurt her I want her to feel safe and accepted with all of us."

"Yeah I hear you. We good?" Tommy raises his brows.

"Of course T-bone."

He got up to leave but stopped and turned around.

"Also, another thing Sixx." Tommy's face turns serious. "Remember how you said it wasn't Mani that drugged you. What did you mean by that?"

"I meant that it was her manager. She's not a good person. She tells Mani to do fucked up shit and she's always in her ear whispering bad things to her."

"So Mani always does what her manager tells her to do and say?" Tommy asks with concern.

"Did Mani say something to you?" I furrow my brows.

"N..no..I just wanna know." He chuckled nervously.

I sigh and scratch my head ready to tell him.

"Look Tommy, I use to manipulate Mani when she was younger because she couldn't think for herself. I would tell her what she wanted to hear or call her to make her pity me and feel sorry for me so I could get her to come to me. Then, I would make her do things that she wouldn't normally do. Like running away on tour with me. It was so easy because she was young and raised in a strict house hold and very sheltered. She knew nothing about the real world. She grew up never being able to make decisions for herself. Other people always made descions for her, including me. But I realized how dangerous it is to manipulate someone who can't think for themselves. It means that when someone tells Mani something, it's hard for her not to listen. Especially if that person has been in her life for a long time. Like her manager."

"Shit." Tommy mumbled and rubbed his head. He started biting his fingers tips and looked down at the ground.

"Yeah." I breath out. "Now that I'm sober and able to think properly I try my hardest to sit down and talk to her instead of putting thoughts and words in her ear. Mani's a sweet girl. I want her to make her own decisions. I want her to stand up to Tamara rather than say yes to everything Tamara tells her to do."

"Does she know you use to manipulate her?"

"No." I shake my head. "But I am gonna tell her when the time is right. It's something that she needs to know."

"Fuck." Tommy breathed out.

"Tommy." I called to him. "If she said something to you, you know you can tell me. Right?" I ask with seriousness.

"Oh..uh..no she didn't say anything to me." He studdred. "When I see Mani again I'm going to apologize for how I've been treating her. I want you and her to be happy."

"Thanks T-bone."

Los Angeles's

When the jet landed we all got out and gave each other a hug goodbye. We weren't going to see each other until next year. I got into my limo and reached home. I sigh as I looked around the big empty house. I didn't bother to put my stuff away properly. I sat down on the couch wondering what I would be doing for the break. Before Mani left she said she would call me and we can talk often. She's spending time with her family in Canada for the holidays. Every one has someone except for me. My holidays are going to be very lonely. I guess shit just doesn't change for me. I was lonely in the past, I'm lonely in the present, and chances are I'll be lonely in the future.

After taking a quick nap. I've been speaking to Mani a lot on the phone. I had to pretend like I was ok here. I told her that I was going to be hanging around with my friends for the Christmas break. But I have no friends. The ones that I do are still on drugs or drinking. Robbin called me as well but he was so out of it that I had no clue what he was saying. Tom also called and I spoke to some of my aunts and uncles. I wish I could go to Idaho, but there's not enough time. Plus I don't want to go to Idaho by myself. I got up then headed downstairs with my new base that Mani got for me. I sat there and started strumming but nothing was coming to me. I just felt bored and unmotivated.

Ring Ring Ring

I put my base down and walked to the phone.

"Hey."

"Hi babe."

"Hi princess how are you?" I asked as I walked back to the couch and sat down.

"I'm alright, just checking in on you. I hope you're ok?"

"Babe I'm fine, I keep telling you that. What's that noise in the backround?"

"Oh." She laughs. "It's my mom's church music. She plays it every Christmas. I can't believe you can actually hear it. I'm in my sisters room and the music is downstairs."

"Yeah I can hear it." I chuckled. "So is it just you and your family having a Christmas dinner or are other people going to be at your place?"

"Well we're actually going over to my uncle's house. Him and his wife just had a baby. So the whole family is going to spend Christmas there."

"That's...that's great." I mumble.

I stayed silent for a bit. Family. Something that I have never had. Going over to my girlfriend's house for a Christmas dinner to meet her family is something I wish I could experience. People always groan and complain about not wanting to see their in laws. But that's something I would kill to have.

"Nikki are you still there?"

"Oh ..uh sorry I kind of tuned out a bit. What were you saying?"

"I said so what are you doing today?"

I sighed. I wanted to tell her that I have no plans today or any other day but I didn't want her to pity me. I don't want anyone's pity. And I don't want her to travel all the way down here to come and be with me. I want her to be with her family. She deserves to have happiness. She deserves to smile.

"Oh, I'm going to be hanging with friends." I said with fake excitement. "We're going to go out and eat. You know, do guy stuff."

"Guy stuff?" She questions.

"No strip clubs I promise." I chuckled.

"Are they clean?" She asks with concern.

"Yeah babe they're clean." I assure.

"Nikki I can come after Christmas to see you-"

"Mani I'm fine." I assure. "You came out for my birthday so please spend time with your family as long as you need to."

"Ok." She says casually. "I'll call you later."

"Alright babe."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

We both hang up the phone. I think maybe I'll go out shopping for myself. And buy some Christmas presents for people. I probably won't give them the presents till after Christmas cause everyone will be with their families.

I tied my hair back and put on a baseball cap and sunglasses for my disguise. I grabbed my car keys then locked up and got into my car. It was busy out on the roads. People wanted to do some last minute shopping before Christmas.

I stopped and parked my car and got out then headed into the mall. I grabbed a shopping cart then walked around looking for things to buy. I picked up a couple of things that I thought Mani would like, I also got something for Fred, Jess, Tommy, Vince, and Mick. I got something for Tom as well, I'll have to ship it down to Idaho.

"Nikki?"

I tensed up hearing that familiar voice.

"Hi Brie." I smiled nervously.

"Hi." She smiled and gave me a hug. "Nice disguise." She chuckled.

"Well it keeps the fans from recognizing me." I shrug. "Uh..well it's nice to see you I have-"

"Nikki you don't have to keep avoiding me." She frowned. "I know you and Brandi are going through some trouble but it doesn't mean that when you see me you have to run away."

"I know." I rub my hair feeling a bit awkward. "It's just Brandi's your daughter and I don't want trouble."

"I understand." She nods. "But also I feel like you should try and work things out with her. I don't feel like you two really tried. You know she really misses you and wants you two to work things out. And well, so do I." She speaks softly.

And you wonder why I avoid you.

"Brie." I sigh. "I don't know if Brandi told you but I'm in a relationship with someone else."

I saw the hurt on Brie's face. I felt really bad for having to tell her this. Ever since me and Brandi have been having problems I haven't spoken to Brie. Last I saw her was when she came over to get Brandi at our Dr. Feelgood release party. Since then I've been avoiding her like the plague.

"So, you marry my daughter and tell her you want to have a family with her. But the moment you two start arguing you want to call it quits and move onto a different woman right away." She said bitterly.

"Brie it's not that." I groaned.

"So what is it?" She furrows her brows and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Brie I'm sober now." I sigh. "I'm not doing drugs, I'm not drinking, I'm not smoking. I'm clean and Brandi's not. So it's a problem for me."

She nods her and looks passed me like she's thinking. "Well problems have solutions. Why don't you come over on Christmas eve to my place and we can sit down all together and talk about all of this. Brandi will be really happy to see you." She pleads. "And honestly I miss you too. I'm sure you don't want to be alone for Christmas. I know you don't have any family here. And Brandi is still your wife."

"Ok I'll think about it." I nod. "I..uh..I gotta go."

I push my cart passed her and speed walked over to the line. I paid and ran out of the store. I was feeling anxious and overwhelmed for some reason. I threw my stuff in the trunk, climbed into my car, and sat there for a bit. Maybe spending time with Brie and Brandi wouldn't be so bad. They both miss me and I do need company. Plus I'm still married to her so it's normal for married people to spend time with each other.

"Fuck Nikki no, you can't." I grumbled to myself. "Fuck."

I drove out of the shopping mall parking lot and found myself down by the sunset strip. I watched all the teens hanging out by the clubs drinking and smoking. The place has calmed down since the early eighties. I looked down at my leg and realized it was bouncing up and down. Why am I feeling anxious and stressed out? I feel like I need a drink.

"Fuck." I groaned.

My problem is loneliness, it always has been. I turn and drive down to the cathouse. I park my car in the lot and climb out. I pull my hat down just a bit more to cover my face as I head into the cathouse. All these guys that never made it as rockstars are still here drugged out and drinking. This was a bad idea, I need to get out of here before I...

"Hey Sixx!"

I turn to the right to see who's calling me.

"King!"

I ran over to Robbin with open arms. He picked me up and gave me a big bear hug. Wow he looks like complete shit.

"Shit man where have you been?" He slurred.

"I've been on tour bro." I patted his arm. "You uh..you look..good." I lied.

"Thanks dude." He smiled. "Hey come sit." He grabbed my arm and walked me over to the booth he was sitting at.

"Hey Sixx what's up?" Riki walked over to greet me.

"Hey Riki."

He's another one that I tried avoiding. Especially because he introduced me to Brandi.

"I thought you were sober? What brings you here?" Riki asked.

"I was just driving by." I shrug. "It looks like King is doing his afternoon drinking." I point at Robbin.

"He's been here since morning." Riki chuckled.

"Well I have nothing better to do. Steven's pissing me off. He has lead singer syndrome. Thinks he's the shit, he's trying to kick me out of the band."

"He can't do that." I snap.

"Shit that sucks." Riki speaks up. "Hey you and Brandi still together or what?" He looks at me.

"We're married but separated." I say with nervousness.

"She really loves you Sixx, she told me herself."

I breath out and rub my face.

"Hey Riki you're stressing him out. Go get us some whiskey, Sixx needs a drink."

"Alright." Riki walks away.

"Uh no Robbin I can't stay, I'm trying to stay sober." I object.

"Sixx it's one fucking drink, it's not going to kill you like heroin nearly did. Come on bro for old times sake." He laughed and patted my arm.

"Robbin I can't, I promised Mani I would stay sober."

"Mani, Mani, Mani. Come on man, she's not here."

"Robbin-" I groaned.

"Ok, one drink. Just one drink."

"Alright here you go boys." Riki says as he puts the tray of shot glasses down. "I'll do one with you."

I look at the whiskey in the shot glass. My leg starts to shake underneath the table.

Would Iman find out if I had just one drink?

Will I be ok just having one drink?

"Sixx?" Robbin raises a brow.

It's only one drink. It can't lead to anything else.

"Alright, one drink." I smiled.

We pick up our shot glasses and down them. I clear my throat as the delicious taste of alcohol goes down my throat. I've missed this. I miss feeling alive, I miss hanging out with King and being at the cathouse, I miss partying.

"How about another?" Robbin slures.

"Sixx?" Riki looks at me.

"Yeah, I could use one more." I think one more will be fine. It's not like I'm over doing it. I rub my face and breath out.

"Atta boy!" Robbin yells. "Mani's been keeping you on a leash! It's time to free your self! Get the whole bottle Riki!" Robbin cheers.

"Alright, settle down Robbin." Riki chuckles.

Riki came back with two bottles instead of one. We opened them up and finished the whole thing. _____

Thursday, December 21st, 1989

Morning...

"Oh fuck." I grumbled.

I stird and looked around realizing that I wasn't at home. This looks like Kings house.

"King!" I called out.

My head was fucking throbbing. I rolled out of the bed and stumbled a bit using the dresser to steady myself. Something felt like it was coming up my stomatch. I looked around for the bathroom but couldn't find it. So I had to puke on the rug.

"Uh..shit." I groaned as I finished puking. I wiped my mouth and opened the door to leave the room. "Robbin?"

"He's still sleeping Nikki." Theresa said from downstairs. "Come downstairs and have some breakfast."

I walk downstairs and rub my face. I sat at the table feeling like complete shit for what I did last night. I broke my sobriety.

"Did we drive?"

"No, Riki called you guys a taxi and Robbin brought you here. Your car is still at the cathouse."

"Fuck!" I raised my voice. "Fuck!" I yelled slamming my hand down on the table.

"So." Theresa walks over with cornflakes and milk. "How much did you drink?"

She placed them down on the table then turned around to grab me a bowl.

"Two maybe three bottles." I say with disappointment in my tone. "Thanks." I say as I grab the bowl from her.

"And how does Iman feel?"

Ugh Mani will fucking hate me.

"She doesn't know, Theresa." I get frustrated and grab the cereal box pouring it aggressively into the bowl. "I'm not going to drink again."

"I said I was going to stop injecting heroin two years ago. So I went to rehab, but when I got out and came back home to Robbin. He had it all around the house and was doing it infront of me. So I relapsed." She says sadly.

I watch her as she picks up a cigarette and lights it up. Theresa used to be a beauty. Full figure, long black hair, tanned skin, with white teeth. Now she looks like me when I was on heroin. It's scary to see her like this.

"Have you spoken to Mani since Tamara fired you?"

"No I haven't." She shakes her head. "I don't want her to see me like this. I wanna be clean before I talk to her." She says blowing smoke out.

"She cares about you."

She nods her head and sniffles. "I always cared about her..I just..you and Robbin got me into this shit." She grumbles and points at me. "Now I depend on him for everything." She sniffles again. "My family won't even talk to me cause I married him. I have to spend my Christmas here with Robbin doing drugs." She sobbed.

I sigh and put my spoon down. "Theresa I can hook you up with a specialist. He helped me get sober. I can give you his number."

She snickers and shakes her head then puts the cigarette out in the ash tray. "He must be shit." She chuckles.

"Why do you say that?" I furrow my brows taken aback at what she said.

She gets up and leans close to my face placing her hands on the table for balance. "Cause you- are not-sober." She grins smugly and leans back. "Finish your cereal and get fuck out." She sneered and walked away.

I rubbed my face knowing that she got to this point because of me and Robbin. I introduced her to drugs the same why I introduced Mani to my life of decadence. The only difference between Iman and Theresa, is that Iman had her morals and was strong willed to never touch drugs where as Theresa gave in. I'll just finish my cereal and..

"Nikki!" Theresa shouted from upstairs. "You pouta! You puked on my carpet!"

I think I'll just leave now.

Nikki's house..

I picked up my car from the cathouse but before coming home I stopped to buy two bottles of jack. I might need them for later, you never know who's going to come over for a visit. I showered then brushed and laid down in bed. My head was hurting and I still felt like shit. I felt angry at my self for drinking. I swore to Mani that I wouldn't drink, but I did. And I had more than one bottle. The phone started ringing and I didn't feel like talking to anyone, including Mani. I was so angry at myself that I drank. But then again I can't ignore her, I love her too much.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby boy." Mani said in a seductive voice.

"Hey princess." I chuckled. "Better not let your mom hear you talking like that." I joked.

"She's not home, and uh, neither are my sisters."

I sat up on my bed and leaned back on the head board. "Mmm so what does that mean?" I breathed out smiling to myself.

"It means your hand needs to be inside your pants and my finger is going to be underneath my skirt." She chuckled.

I stopped smiling and sighed and stayed quiet.

"Nikki? Nikki, you there?"

"Is it..is it always going to be like this?" I ask sadly.

She sighs. "No it won't, and I'm so sorry for making you feel like this."

"It's ok babe, I put us in this situation. I know if anyone finds out about us it will be a problem for you."

"I'm sorry Nik."

"I just...it's frustrating sometimes when I see couples out walking together hand and hand or kissing and touching. And I can't do that." I say with agitation.

It goes silent on her end. I don't mean to bring up all these things before Christmas because I don't want her feeling bad for leaving. But all these emotions are just coming in and I feel like I'm about to drown in them.

"Do you want me to come back?" She mumbles.

Yes baby I do, I really need you here with me cause I feel lonely. Is what I want to say.

"No babe, I want you with your family." I lie.

"I love you baby boy." She whispers.

Nikki you have to tell her you drank.

"Mani." I said with nervousness.

"Yeah."

"I.."

"Youuuuu..."

"I um.."

"Nik, you sure you're ok?"

I can't do it.

"I love you too princess." I whisper back feeling very guilty.

"Aww baby." She chirped. "So how about that hand?" She asks seductively.

Afternoon..

I woke up after a nap. I really fucking needed it. I huffed when I heard my phone ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sixx it's Robbin, what's up dude?"

"Hey King, I'm good." I say

"Hey listen sorry about Theresa this morning. She's been in a bad mood since yesterday. That's why I went out to drink. Had to get away from her." He laughed.

"Nah, it was my fault." I chuckle. "I puked on your carpet."

"So, any plans today?"

"Mm, no not really. I'm going to be here alone." I respond trying not to feel sad.

"Where's Mani? I thought she was with you, that's why I brought you back to my place."

"She's with her family in Canada spending the break with them."

"Wow, so Christmas came early for you huh." He chuckled humorously.

"Yeah...I guess." I frown a bit.

"So, can I come over? We can chill like old times. We haven't really hung out in a while."

A part of me wanted to say no because Robbin is still snorting, drinking, and injecting. And I am trying to stay sober. But a big part of me wants to say yes because I don't have anyone to hang out with. Last night we had a lot of fun hanging out. It was like old times.

"Uh..no I'm waiting on Mani's call and we're going to have phone sex. So I don't want you to hear that." I lie.

"Alright Sixx, well I'll let you go then. Call me if you change your mind."

"Yeah sure no problem."

I hung up the phone and rubbed my face. I got up and walked around my mansion. What's the point of having a big mansion with six bedrooms, four bathrooms, three living rooms, a huge backyard with a pool if I don't have a fucking family. Does that make sense?

I walked outside and walked around my pool. I then came back in and looked in my fridge for something to eat but I didn't feel like eating. I then sat back down on the couch and turned the TV on. I watched MTV but I felt a little bored after watching it for some time.

I went upstairs to my office to see if I could find a book to read or find something to do so I could pass the time, but there was nothing. I walked into my bedroom and looked at the two bottles of Jack Daniels sitting on the drawer. There an was ich that was starting to form in my body. I bit my fingertips and started twitching my toes.

"Fuck Nikki no." I growled turning around and walking out of the room. I stopped infront of the stairs and started pacing. "Fuck." I rubbed my face over and over again.

The feeling wasn't going away. I needed something to do to get the feeling to just leave me. Maybe one drink can help get rid of the loneliness. Yeah one drink will be fine. This time I'm not around Robbin or Riki so I can control how much I drink. Maybe I can call Tommy and see what he's up to. We're both in the same boat staying sober, we can both look out for each other so that we drink only a little. I walked back into my room and dialed Tommy's number. My leg was still bouncing up and down. I hope he answers.

This is a two part chapter. Couldn't fit everything in one.

[fanfiction4thesoul]

What I See Part 2

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader

Word Count: ~1.5

Warnings: None

Summary: You’re headed back home to London after a few years in America. You’ve got a new job at EMI, thanks to your best friend Freddie and you’re ready to start the next chapter of your life. But navigating life is far more interesting when you see far more than anyone else.

A/N: Oh my god guys. I did NOT mean for this part to take that long. Unfortunately I had a lot of things come up that needed taking care of and I’m still kind of in the middle of it. But I put aside a little time to finish this part, so I’m sorry if it seems a little rushed. Thank you again for your continued support as well as everyone that comments/likes/reblogs! I’ll try and get all my shit sorted so the next part won’t take too long.

Part 1

The ghost was a middle aged man, balding dirty blonde hair and a mean grimace on his face. He was shouting like his life depended on it making it nearly impossible to hear what Freddie was saying. You tried to keep your eyes off him to avoid seeming weird, but you could still see his wild gestures from the corner of your eye. The negative energy he was projecting into the room almost made you dizzy as it blasted you.

You missed the introductions but Freddie told you enough about everyone through stories that you could easily name each of them. Which meant that the ghost was yelling at Roger for whatever reason. Thankfully the ghost decided to take a break from his shouting to instead huff around in the corner. 

“Uh, it’s so nice to meet you all. Fred’s told me a lot about you” you said, trying to shake yourself into focus.

Brian smiled at you. “He hasn’t stopped raving about you either.”

“Oh yeah, mostly good things. Except for your fashion sense, though. We’ve heard multiple times how atrocious it is.” John chimed in.

“And now you can see I was right,” Fred gestured to you as if to prove his point. “I’ve spent years trying to get her to change, maybe you can do better than me, Rog.”

Roger eyed you up and shrugged his shoulders, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“I really don’t know if I should be offended by that or not,” you said, hands on your hips.

“Take it whatever way you want, love. Just know that it’s only the clothes that need some help.” He smirked at you leaning back in his chair.

“Oh, yeah, great line. Trying to pick up your co-worker. Great angle Roger…” The ghost grumbled in the background. You pursed your lips. It seemed like he hadn’t noticed you staring at him while he was throwing his fit. This ghost was… volatile. In a way you hadn’t seen before. And the negativity that clung to him was something you never experienced and it made you uneasy. So maybe pretending you couldn’t see him would be better. At least for now.

“Roger, if you’re going to flirt with (Y/N) please do it where I can’t hear it.” Freddie huffed, setting the table with dinner.

“But I can flirt with her?” He raised his eyebrows, looking from you to Fred. Brian and John also stopped what they were doing to look over, waiting for Freddie’s answer. You just smirked and sauntered around the table to sit in the chair Roger was resting his arm on.

You gave Roger a wide smile, “I’ve already been warned you’re a shameless flirt. So it’s no skin off my bones if you want to spend your time complimenting me.”

There was a beat before Brian, John, and Freddie started laughing. “I think I’m going to have fun with you.” Roger said, shaking his head at you.

“That’s my (Y/N), darling. She’s the only one I know who can probably keep up with you.” Fred was still smiling as he sat down with the last of the food.

Dinner went off really well, better than you could have hoped. Even though Freddie told you so much about everyone, actually meeting them and talking to them were very different. You could see some of their quirks shining through. Each one of them was extremely intelligent in their own way. John was more inclined to listen to the conversation rather than actively participate. Brian was soft spoken and kind. He asked about your version of how you met Fred as well as your studies to be a sound tech.

Freddie and Roger dominated the conversation, going back and forth with stories and jabs at each other in a friendly way. Roger threw in as many flirty comments your way which earned groans from everyone at the table. You deflected with laughs and quips, though some of them definitely made your face heat up as they got more suggestive.

But all throughout dinner the ghost stuck around. He kept mumbling obscenities, critiquing whatever Roger said, normally after he threw in another line but at least he didn’t start shouting again. Your back was to him so you couldn’t see his face, but the snarky comments and negative energy rolling off him put you on edge.

When Roger got up to leave after dinner, giving you a wink as he passed, you watched as the ghost followed him up the stairs. It only confirmed that it was attached to him. 

The uncomfortable energy left as he disappeared taking the heavy, oppressive feeling with him and it felt like you could breathe normally again. Freddie gave you a look, but it was definitely more suggestive than imploring.

When Brian and John both bid you good night, you waited another moment, biting your lip. Freddie was the only confidant you ever had with your gift, but it was normally for silly things they did. You never met such a negative spirit before, at least not one that carried around that negativity like a blanket to drape over whatever room they were in. 

It made you nervous.

But just when you opened your mouth to tell Freddie, Paul walked into the room grabbing his attention. 

You sighed. Maybe tomorrow.

Just as you were about to slip out of the room, Freddie called to.

“Good night, darling! See you bright and early tomorrow morning!”

“‘Night Fred.” You smiled at him walking out into the cold night air. 

~O~

It turned out you couldn’t do much recording if there wasn’t actually anything to record. While the boys certainly had plenty of ideas, there wasn’t anything that they thought was ready to be put to tape. They were perfectionists and you could definitely see how you could go crazy on this farm with them. So for the past week you mostly sat behind the soundboard, playing with the sounds as the boys practiced whatever they wanted.

And even in the recording room, the ghost followed Roger and the negative emotion he brought was even stronger than it was on the first night. Despite the one sided shouting match that you walked into yesterday, the ghost remained stoically silent almost bottling his emotions up to make his energy that much more oppressive. 

Whenever Roger came close, it was like a douse of cold water falling over you making you tense up. You still met his flirty comments beat for beat, but you wanted nothing more than to bolt from the room.

At the end of each day, you quickly made an excuse to go to your house, avoiding additional invitations to dinner. 

“Please, (Y/N). We’ve barely seen you outside of work!” Freddie was whining at you just when you were saying goodbye.

Your eyes drifted behind him to where Roger was adjusting his drums, the ghost pacing along behind him. “I’m just not feeling it tonight Fred. Maybe tomorrow, yeah?”

Freddie looked around, spying who was behind him. “Is it Roger? Darling, did Roger do something? Say something? You know he means it in jest.”

“It’s not Roger, Fred. Trust me.” And it really wasn’t. You wanted to get to know him more, but that damn ghost just keeps getting in the way. When Roger was practicing in the other room, you could freely talk to Brian and John but as soon as Roger walked in and the ghost followed you suddenly felt stunted. Getting to know Roger was… a challenge.

“Then what is it?”

“I… m not sure.” You took another look at the ghost before turning for the door. 

You didn’t get very far before someone was calling your name.

“(Y/N)! Wait up!” It was Roger, hair flowing behind him as he came up beside you. “I… uh. The guys… they decided that we should take at least one day off during the week. And the, ah the town isn’t that far down the way. I’m not sure what there is to do there… but do you wanna go explore it?” He stuttered over his words a bit but he didn’t appear nervous.

Just as you were going to respond, the ghost came through the wall and sunk your mood. It was so infuriating. Every. Single. Time. And it was only if he was in the same room! You never, ever in your life wanted to get rid of a ghost before, but now you wished you could. 

“Wait,” you said, getting an idea. “Do they have a library?”

Roger furrowed his brow. “Uh, probably? Why?”

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll explore the town with you. Next week. If you let me borrow your van to go to the library this week.”

“Uhh…”

“I promise I won’t go exploring without you.” You gave him your best smile, swaying a little to emphasize your plea. 

“...yeah, sure. Okay-”

“Great! It’s a date!” You quickly jumped forward to give him a peck on the cheeks, pulling away with a wink. “Don’t daydream about me too much.”

You hurried away, hoping it seemed more playful rather than wanting to rush away from the spirit. You really hoped the town had a library. And had what you were looking for...

Part 3

~

Taglist: @jennyggggrrr @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @rogahs-drowse @butlegendsneverdie @leghy @the-moving-finger-writes @juliarvra

[writing-with-melon]

Wollstonecraft [4]

Chapter 4 of what I’ve been calling Wollstonecraft 

Summary: After the death of her paternal grandmother, Emi Alonso moves back to the town of Los Lobos, NM, after a decade of being away. There she meets the handsome Kieran Wollstonecraft who for some reason can’t stay away from her. What was supposed to be a fresh start for Emi turns into torture as she continues to get buried in secrets, family drama, and werewolves. Warnings: problematic mentions of sex, language Note: so this took a turn that I wasn’t expecting but were are going for it

masterlist

GOOD MORNING

***KIERAN***

Hear her heart I could.

As I held her smaller frame her heart's rapid beats where all that echoed in my ears. I was disappointed when she finally tugged herself away from my grasp and took a deep breath to compose herself. She ran her hands through her short wild hair, a motion she seemed to do when she was nervous and sighed again this time meeting my eyes.

She looked beautiful in the firelight, her light brown skin glowed and I couldn't take my eyes off her almond-shaped chocolate eyes. Her wild brown tousled hair fell just barely reaching her shoulders. She was shapely and her clothes made a great effort to highlight her every curve.

I'd spent hours of my youth imagining what she would look like, I'd always imagined a blonde, because I like blonds. But looking at her in front of me now made me realize how wrong I was. She was a bit heavier than I expected but I didn't have time to dwell too much on the differences of what I expected and the real thing because she'd grabbed my face and pulled me in for a kiss.

Her lips were warm and soft and they tasted like the wine she had been having. She held the sides of my face with her tiny hands. They were soft too, so soft they made me melt into a small moan.

"Emi" I breathed speechless when she pulled away taking the intensity of her vanilla rose smell with her.

This hadn't been how I'd imagined our first kiss would be like, I'd pictured a picnic in the spring when the pecan orchards are in full bloom. But instead, I'd only talked to her for less than an hour, had three beers, and I was half in love with her already and wanted to keep kissing her face. So I did.

I knew deep in my mind that what I was doing was wrong, she was very drunk and vulnerable and we'd only just met, but she smelled so good and she was so close that my instincts just took over. I'd waited for this moment for nearly a decade and I wasn't going to let it go. The almost magnetic pull she had on me was too strong to ignore, I think it was the true mate bond calling. And when my name emerged from her mouth in a moan, kissing was not enough.

I wanted everything.

I needed everything.

I gave everything.

The world be damned.

She took everything too.

It was too late by the time I'd realized what I'd done. It was early sunrise when the sky was that magnificent red that I finally woke up to her still sleeping on my chest. Both of us naked on the desert dirt and the embers of the fire long dead.

I tried to move without waking her and that's when I realized.

Oh...

Oh no...

I'd broken more rules than rejecting The Patriarch that night. Mating is a very serious subject for my kind and my family. So serious that no one is allowed to do it without The Patriarch's explicit consent.

Ooops...

Shit-Fuck-Damn!

There was nothing left for me to do than try to wiggle myself out of my current position and try my best to clean up the huge mess I'd made. Literally and figuratively. All while she still slept. I thanked the heavens my father was so strict with my stealth training, otherwise, it would have been an impossible mission.

I covered her with the spare shirt in my truck it was so huge on her it might as well be a throw blanket. I found my dusty clothes and put those on before picking up the empty wine bottles and beer cans. I contemplated laying her down in the back of my truck and just waiting for her to wake up, it was probably more comfortable than the ground now that I wasn't serving as her pillow. She clung to me a bit when I finally resolved to move her, but she was still very much asleep.

Then I did the only thing I could do, I called Cillian.

"I hope you found your mate, because The Patriarch is furious." was the first thing I heard as soon as he picked up.

"I did. She's—" I stopped before everything spilled out of my mouth. "—Well, she's wonderful."

"Oh female?! And here I thought the Wollstonecraft line would have to be continued by our cousin Patrick. Can you imagine him as Patriarch?" Cillian snorted.

"Ha, ha. You're hilarious." I said sarcastically trying to focus on what I wanted to say next. "Look, can you send over a tow truck."

"A what now?" I could almost see his confused expression.

"TOW TRUCK" I nearly screamed but stopped when I heard Emi's soft snoring.

"Why?"

"It's a long story. That I will tell you about later."

He paused, I assume long enough to roll his eyes "Call your own fucking tow truck! Why do I always have to be your middle man and bail you out of your shit?!"

"Well, you're so good at it! And you have assistants. Plus my phone is about to die."

"Then you should have called the tow truck instead or get your own assistants and stop leeching off of mine," Cillian said clearly frustrated and then there was a pause. "Ugh, it's on its way."

"Thanks, bro. I owe you one." I thanked him.

"One?! More like three and that's just in the past 24 hours, but who's counting?" He replied.

"Yeah, okay fine. I'll see you later." I said before hanging up.

I looked over at Emi. She looked so perfect and peaceful I felt compelled to brush her cheek with the back of my hand, but before I could (like a creep) she began to wake up.

"Good morning," I said as she groaned and stretched.

That's when her eyes flashed open and she realized where she was. Her heartbeat accelerated, she must've been scared.

"OK, don't freak out, but you're a little bit naked." I added turning my back to her to give her some privacy.

"WHAT!" She shrieked, pulling my shirt close to her chest trying her best to cover herself up.

"Your clothes are folded beside you," I said trying not to glance even though every fiber in my being was telling me to catch a glimpse.

I heard her scramble for her clothes and then stopped to steady herself. She smelled like she had a monstrous hangover.

"What the fuck happened last night?" She breathed. "We— did we!?" I could hear her clothes shuffle as she put them on groaning as she did.

"Oh yeah, we definitely did! Everything hurts. Fuck!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I take full responsibility." I said scratching the back of my head nervously, listening for a change in her heartbeat and for clues on what she was feeling. But that wasn't much help since it beat just as fast as it had been when she woke up.

"Yeah, you should!" She said, sounding angry. "Taking advantage of a poor drunk girl! Unacceptable! Unforgivable! Un—"

"—I know! I'm so sorry. I really really mean it. But please let me make it up to you just a tiny bit... I'll take you out for breakfast. After I get you home so you can change and stuff. That is if you still want to see my face after that. I'd understand if you don't."

Oh please want to see my face after this. I know I won't be able to go a day without seeing yours.I prayed in my head.

She paused for a moment considering her options.

"Tsk... Yeah, okay. I am hungry." She said a bit less angry as her stomach grumbled.

"Oh thank god!" I sighed relieved, a goofy smile on my face. "Can I turn around now?"

"I guess." She sounded embarrassed.

I turned around and there she was sitting in the back of my truck, I must have been gaping because she frowned and said "What?" with a raised brow.

"Nothing," I replied looking away before my face turned red and looking in the direction of the incoming tow truck. "What's your address?"

"I can drive myself home." She replied, crossing her arms.

"Well, the tow truck is already here, and I'm going to pay for that, eventually, so I guess you'll have to ride with me. Unless you want to ride with the tow truck." I said trying to be smug.

She tilted her head considering the second option as she hopped out the back of my truck.

"Oh come on! You're killing me!" I whined. This is not how I wanted things to go. This is not how things were supposed to go.

"Then die." She said seriously swaying her hips over to the tow truck man who'd just jumped out his truck.

"I just might." I mumbled, covering my face with my hands. "I am a dead man."

"Good." She shouted back. It surprised me that she could hear me, she had very good hearing for a human.

She gave the man her address and before long her car was speeding past us in the direction of her house. Much to my surprise, she was still there waving her car away.

"Well, what are you waiting for? I'm hungry." She said her hands on her hips looking away from me.

This was like my fourth sigh of relief, I think she was starting to find them amusing. But I obliged. I opened the door and helped her into my truck.

It was a slightly tense and silent drive.

"You're still mad at me?" I said, more as a fact than a question.

"Yup." She looked out the window.

"Is there anything I can do for you to forgive me?" I practically pleaded.

"Hmm... I don't know. Why do you care?" She crossed her arms and looked at the road before us, still refusing to meet my eyes.

"I just do," I said mentally facepalming myself for not being more eloquent. "Because, I l--like you." I love you, I almost blurted, but I stopped myself just in time. This true mate business was making me feel like a love sick puppy. I was not acting like myself and it was so involuntary it almost sent shivers down my spine.

"You 'like' me?" she air-quoted the word 'like'.

"Yeah, I wouldn't be here if I didn't." Fact.

"So then... you sleep with girls and leave unless you 'like' them." She said annoyed.

"Well, seemingly since as of last night I was still a virgin. So no."

"UGH! What kind of royal ashole sees a drunk girl and thinks 'This is it! This is my chance to lose my v-card!'" She raged.

"No! No! That's not what I meant!" Fuck, fuck, I fucked up.

"What did you mean then? Was that supposed to be a compliment?" She said seething "Was it supposed to be like 'Oh you're just sooo beautiful that I couldn't help myself and I broke my chastity promise!' Is that what you meant?" She said, trying to imitate my voice.

"No. Yes. Kind of?" I retorted. Shut up. Just Shut Up!

She rolled her eyes with a deep uuugh.

"Look, I was very sheltered growing up, okay! And I come from a very conservative family that takes this 'chastity' thing very seriously and I know it's going to blow up in my face later." I may have sounded more exasperated than I intended to but I continued. "Honestly, I don't know what came over me last night. I know it was wrong. And I'm so sorry. And that's why I'm trying to make it up to you. I'd undo the whole thing if I could but I can't so I'm doing this instead." I glanced at her in the passenger seat. She was hugging herself and her eyes were watery.

"It's just, I don't even remember meeting you." The dejection in her tone broke my heart.

Fuck.

"Then we can start over, last night never happened. Hello, I'm Kieran Wollstonecraft. Nice to meet you. You must be new around here." I said stretching my hand towards her momentarily taking my eyes off the road.

"Emi Alonso, much obliged." She shook mine finally meeting my eyes.

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Tagglist: @dianacartertano @dahladahlabills @chibi-blue-scapula @aslanwrites​ @flyingfalconflower12​

[ilovemygaydad]

part 5/? of punk!patton gets adopted by single parent logan

part one - part two - part three - part four - ao3 version - masterlist (includes asks and art!)

pairings: moxiety, eventual logince, background pining remceit, mentions of past thomas/female oc

warnings--these are very important this chapter: food mentions, stress, anxiety, kissing, flirting, divorce mentions, making out, mentions of murder (i’ll mark it out), attempted murder, guns, gunshots, gun wounds, head trauma, homophobic parents mention, homophobia, there’s so much swearing i am so sorry, maybe something else

a/n: no joke i’ve had this planned out since before the last part came out, but i literally just couldn’t write it all at once, and i’ve been having a really emotionally weird week. next chapter should start out pretty funny. idk. please enjoy this.

a/n 2: sorry that this took so long to get out. i don’t think it’s that great, but... yeah. whatever.

it’s friday night babey which means that it’s dinner time with the sanders, and logan and patton are freaking out

logan has been cooking/prepping food for the past day, and he immediately started finishing up as soon as he got home from work

patton, on the other hand, was feverishly cleaning the entire house 

it isn’t even messy, but he’s worried that virgil and/or roman are going to be upset

(which they aren’t????? but whatever)

and patton even cleaned himself up! he tried (and failed) to tame his wild curls into some sort of neat anything, and he wore his nicest pair of black jeans and a black sweater with floral designs that he’d bought at the mall with virgil a while back

it was a little out of his comfort zone, but virgil insisted that he get it because it looks very good on him

and, god damn it, you can’t say no to virgil’s puppy eyes

the doorbell rang just before five, and logan ran out of the kitchen to get it

patton literally vaulted over the couch, skidding to the door just behind logan

virgil is like

literally the cutest person on the planet

he’s wearing a white lace dress that has a flowy skirt, and he’s got a white flower crown on, and he looks like an angel

during the time that patton’s being a gay disaster, virgil holds out a bouquet of blue flowers and says, “dad made me get them for you”

patton smiles gently and takes them, pulling virgil in for a quick kiss before leading him inside

roman has, like, eight giant tupperware containers full of cookies and brownies and stuff in his arms, and logan’s like

what???? the fuck?????

“you didn’t need to bring desserts, roman. i have ice cream...”

and roman gives this cocky smile and says “my best friend, emi, loves to bake for us, but he doesn’t really know how to limit himself, so we have tons of baked goods lying around that we can’t eat. not to mention that i can’t keep up this fabulous figure if i only eat sweets!” wink wonk

and logan can feel his face heating up after that wink, but he pretends that it’s just the heat from inside

roman really does have a good figure...

logan chooses to not respond to roman, instead saying, “let’s go inside so you can put those containers down”

they turn to go, and they catch a glimpse of patton and virgil from down the hall

the kids are sitting on the couch, laughing and talking and exchanging the occasional kiss

the adults watch for a second because aw, but quickly move on to the kitchen

“you can set the containers down on the counter over there. i made a a couple of different things for dinner just in case you two didn’t like something that i made, so there’s spaghetti, pizza, and hamburgers. everything is absolutely gluten-free; i know because i triple checked with a list online and bought new utensils to reduce contamination. you’re free to have as much or as little as you like--i won’t be offended either way.”

roman kind of freezes because holy shit that’s so thoughtful and kind

“that’s... logan, that’s too much. you didn’t have to do all that for virgil.”

“what are you talking about? it’s only common courtesy to assure that your guest is able to eat without getting sick, especially when they have a disease that can cause irreparable damage to their body.”

“yeah, but a lot of people don’t care enough to ask or remember, so virgil often has to find something else to eat last minute... i brought an extra dinner just in case, which is very unfair to your person, but virgil has suffered too much for me to not be careful.”

“that’s...” logan starts, trying to express what he feels. “that’s just shitty.”

roman smiles and laughs a bit, replying, “yeah, it is, but at least you aren’t, you know, shitty”

and they have this little moment where they smile at each other, and both of them are like wow this man is... good looking but they snap out of it because

dumb gays

everyone in this au is a dumb gay

including yours truly but that is noT important

logan’s like “hey we should get the kids for dinner” and roman obvi agrees

but when they go to get them, they see the kiddos being all adorable and gay and logan turns to roman with this very serious expression like

we must spy on them. this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.

so they shuffle over to the edge of the doorway, just out of sight, and logan peeks his head in every now and then for visuals, and he’s repeating what he hears so that roman can understand what’s happening

logan’s in the middle of telling roman something when

dun dun dunnnn

a voice suddenly appears from behind them like

(the voice is virgil)

“what... are you two doing...?”

fucking busted

logan is like

aHa i can lie to these children!

and he says, “we were talking about work--”

but patton just cuts him off with this deadpan look and “you two are horrible liars”

cut to: roman gasping in offense that this emo nightmare of a child just called him a liar when he didn’t even say anything

so he says, “i didn’t even say anything”

patton, being... well, being the asshole that he is, says, “my point still stands”

roman splutters for a while longer, trying to look at virgil and logan for help, but virgil just shrugs and walks with patton to the table, and logan is still very embarrassed about getting caught

it takes a few seconds, but both adults recuperate and move on to what’s important

which is, obviously, dinner

logan walks virgil through what’s available and offers to cook something else if he isn’t feeling particularly happy with anything

virgil damn near cries at how nice logan is

dinner gets served, and they all start eating the (delicious--who would guess that calculator watch knew how to cook something that tasted like it was served in a fancy restaurant) food

after a few minutes of idle chatter and slight pda between the kids, logan offhandedly comments, “you know, i am extremely happy for the both of you that you didn’t cycle through numerous girlfriends before finding out that you’re queer like many of us do.”

and everyone at the table freezes because

logan’s gay????

“hold up,” roman says with a shocked expression. “you’re gay?”

and virgil sighs and shakes his head because “dad, you’re an idiot. he literally has a pride phone case, and there are multiple pictures of him at pride around the house--including one right behind you.”

he also elbows patton when the punk mutters out a very soft “what the fuck”

“i applaud your observational skills--”

“i assume neither of you knew that he was jewish, either”

and now it’s logan’s turn to be surprised because... who the hell is this kid

“you have a dreidel on the mantle that i assumed you forgot to put away after Hanukkah last year.” everyone stared at him. “oh, i’m sorry that i’m not as much of a dumb gay as my father.”

cue roman getting offended again

“excuse you! the role of ‘dumb gay’ is exclusively reserved for thomas f. sanders!”

poor patton hasn’t stopped being confused this whole time, but roman luckily jumps right back into his explanation

“my twin brother, thomas, didn’t realize that he was gay until he had been with a woman for six years and had a child with her. they amicably parted ways because, like him, she was also gay. i am not nearly as stupid as my brother, and i take great offense to virgil calling me a ‘dumb gay!’” he said matter-of-factly

virgil opens his mouth to say something, but roman cuts him off with a swift “if you so much as think about saying what you’re going to say, i will throw you into the ocean without a moment’s hesitation.” roman then very calmly turns to patton and says sweetly, “so, only good child at this table, tell me a bit about yourself so that i know what my devil child is getting himself into.”

unbeknownst to roman, virgil mutters “dumb gay,” under his breath, causing logan to crack a smile across the table

patton shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “my birthday is february nineteenth, my favorite color is blue, and i’m homoromantic asexual.”

roman waited for patton to say more, but the teen averted his gaze back on his food and took another bite

logan decided to pick up the slack after the few seconds of awkward silence “what about you, virgil?”

unlike patton’s less than enthusiastic reply, virgil perked up at the chance to speak

“oh, well, my birthday is june second, and i really like purple! i’m pretty sure that i’m pan, but i have a preference for guys. oooh! and i really want to be an elementary school teacher.”

that made logan perk up. “really? i currently teach first graders across town.”

“no way!” virgil gasped. “that’s awesome! i love little kids so much. they’ve got so much energy.”

“and their intelligence is unrivaled!”

“yes!”

roman and patton watched as the two excitedly conversed about kids and teaching

patton admired virgil’s enthusiasm, and was happy that he was getting along with logan.

and virgil looked really cute with his happy smile and the little glimmer in his eyes

patton may or may not have zoned out in favor of staring at his beautiful boyfriend

roman couldn’t really tell what logan and virgil were talking about (they were speaking far too quickly for him to follow), but he admired how excited logan looked when he was speaking

oh no

roman was falling for logan

time to not follow his own advice and pretend that his feelings don’t exist

after another half hour or so of chatting, the adults and kids split ways for a while

patton and virgil went up to patton’s room, and logan and roman stayed in the living room

the boys settled together at the end of patton’s bed, holding hands and leaning on each other

“you look paw-sitively purrfect, virgil” patton giggled

“is... are you saying that because i have cat-eye eyeliner on?”

“...maybe”

virgil smiled and pulled patton in for a kiss

they kissed for a little, but patton eventually pulled away

he looked worried, and he fidgeted with his hands as he said, “do you think that your dad likes me?”

“well...” virgil started. “he didn’t like you for a long time. after the first day of school, he kind of held a grudge on you.” patton winced, but he didn’t get the opportunity to say anything. “i think he’s forgiven you now.”

“really?”

“i promise. he just wanted to protect me because he’s my dad, but i think he’s realized that you’re not actively trying to hurt me, and you’re just a bit dumb at times”

“hEY”

virgil smiled and nudged patton “you know i love you”

“hnnnnnn i love you too”

“heLL YEAH!”

meaNwhiLE downstairs

logan led roman into the the living room and roman was

stunned

because logan had at least a thousand books meticulously organized around the room

“how many books do you have in here...?” roman asked, running his hand over an entire collection of encyclopedias 

“about one thousand two hundred on the shelves, but i have some children’s books in those baskets at the bottom as well as the books that are starting to fall apart like my copy of hamlet”

“how did you even get so many books? i’ve been collecting novels my whole life, and i only have a few bookshelves full”

“my mom is a librarian, and whenever they would get newer copies of books or get rid of unwanted books, she’d give them to me. i’ve bought a fair few of these myself, but there are only so many that i can buy on a teacher’s salary”

and roman’s like

????? hot

and logan keeps rambling on about books, and roman’s just having a gay crisis but it’s fine 

but then logan looks at roman expectantly, and roman hadn’t exactly been paying enough attention to read logan’s lips, so he played the “can you repeat yourself? i didn’t catch it” card

“sorry. i asked how you came to adopt virgil”

and roman obviously is like hey how about we spill a lot of sad life things with this almost stranger because he’s cute

~this is where the murder is mentioned~

“his mom was my best friend in high school. although we went our separate ways for college, she stayed supportive of me after i came out. she was... the only one from my old life who would even think to talk to me. even thomas hesitated to talk to me for fear of crossing our parents and their ridiculously catholic ideas.” roman sighed. “eventually, though, she got mixed up in some bad stuff, and she got with this drug addict who got her pregnant with virgil. when virgil was about a year old, the guy thought that my friend was cheating on him, and he shot her. the shot, luckily, didn’t kill her right away, and she was able to push him into the corner of a table and kill him before he could get to virgil. she called the police, but she died before they could get there. as soon as i found out, I went and started the adoption process. i had only been a year out of college at that point.”

~end of the murder mention~

logan was stunned. “that is... horrible, roman. i am so sorry for your loss.”

“it’s alright,” roman said with a shrug. “it was over a decade ago, and it led to me getting the best thing in my life. the circumstances were shit, but virgil has made me a better person, and i wouldn’t know what i’d do without him keeping my head on gay.”

“you mean straight...?”

“nothing about me is straight, logan. don’t be absurd”

eventually, it’s time for roman and virgil to leave

virgil and patton walk out to the car and leave the adults at the door because they wanna kiss each other goodbye without being spied on

on their way to the car, virgil whispers “how much do you want to bet that they’ll be flirting with each other by the time we leave”

“ten dollars. i mean, didn’t you see how your dad looked at logan? it was gross!”

meanwhile, at the door...

roman leans back on the doorframe and smiles. “this was a nice night, logan. virgil definitely had a lot of fun”

“that’s great; i’m glad”

“here--give me your phone. i’ll put my number in, and we can get together some other time to get to know each other better”

logan obliged, and roman sent himself a text using logan’s phone and set his contact name as “prince of your dreams”

they chatted for a minute or so longer, just to give the boys enough time to say their goodbyes, before parting ways

logan didn’t spend the rest of the night texting roman

don’t be ridiculous

to be continued

asks are loved and encouraged, and make sure to check out the amazing art people have made on the masterlist! 💖💖💖

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[ao3feed-eraserjoke]

by PaleKittenVoid

All men are not created equal. This was the reality I learned about society at the young age of four. And that was my first and last set back.

This is the story of how I became the world’s great hero!

…

…

…

…

  Haha! Yeah, no. If that’s the story you came for you came to the wrong place buddy because oh boy are you about to go on a wild ride and learn just how I became japan’s most infamous vigilante! And a hero to I guess.

Words: 542, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku, Shinsou Hitoshi, Hatsume Mei, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Fukukado Emi | Ms. Joke, Monoma Neito, Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Class 1-B (My Hero Academia), League of Villains (My Hero Academia)

Relationships: Midoriya Izuku/Monoma Neito, Midoriya Izuku & Monoma Neito, Hatsume Mei & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi, Hatsume Mei & Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi, Hatsume Mei & Shinsou Hitoshi, Monoma Neito & Shinsou Hitoshi, Hatsume Mei & Monoma Neito, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Fukukado Emi | Ms. Joke, Fukukado Emi | Ms. Joke/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Fukukado Emi | Ms. Joke/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Midoriya Izuku & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Class 1-A & Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Class 1-A, Midoriya Izuku & Todoroki Shouto, League of Villains & Midoriya Izuku

Additional Tags: Vigilante Midoriya Izuku, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, BAMF Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku Does Not Have One for All Quirk, Midoriya Izuku Needs A Hug, Midoriya Izuku is a Dork, Midoriya Izuku is a Little Shit, Homeless Midoriya Izuku, Cynical Midoriya Izuku, but like also not, He uses humor as a coping mechanism, Dadzawa - An Aizawa Shota Zine, Dadzawa, dad mic, YamaDad, Auntie Midnight, Mom Joke, izuku hates Bakugou, Izuku has a thing for blonds, Todoroki 'Pepsi Boi' Shoto, Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi are Best Friends, Hatsume Mei & Midoriya Izuku are Best Friends, Shoto loves Izuku like a brother, They commit vandalism some times, Midoriya Izuku is a Mess, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Aizawa is Shinsou's Bio Dad, Miss Joke is his Mom, Mic is his other Dad, Izuku has no parents, Unless you count Hawks, But their relation ship is mostly just Izuku throwing bread at him, and maybe the occasional conversation, The Author Regrets Nothing, Author Is Sleep Deprived, oh!, I almost forgot, Izuku has a gun, Multiple guns actually, This is gonna be a fuckin disaster, But fuck it I've had this fic planned for months, the term 'planned' is used loosely btw, Flirty Midoriya Izuku

[miserylovescompanyfanfic]

MLC Ch: 3

The Cream of Friendship

Cream usually took it upon herself to drive Emilia and her to work in the evenings, but the first job that Emilia had wasn’t Cream’s. No, Emilia had gotten the job at the cute cafe a couple blocks from her current apartment when she first moved to town and lived on campus with Cream; while Cream found a job at another venue that paid a little better but had late nights, and had convinced Emilia to join her.

This little slice of calm before the storm always prepared Emilia for the nights to come, especially since the later afternoons were easy and closing was a cinch. Emilia worked herself up to be the closing manager while Wave, the morning manager, had been a part of the company for many years and hadn’t advanced any farther than that.

She was only slightly bitter, though Emilia had tried being nice to her every chance they got. Don’t get her wrong, Wave the purple swallow wasn’t mean, she was just… intimidating. She was a tall woman with ice blue eyes that was striking against her dark purple feathers. Though, what seemed to be the most intimidating for Emilia was the flame tattoos that traveled up her arms and disappeared into the sleeves of her shirt.

She rubbed her own arms gently every time she saw the tattoos. They were really cool, don’t get her wrong, but apparently Wave got them while she was in prison for moving some drugs during the Egg Wars , which is what the last long term conflict with Eggman had been dubbed for history. Wave served a couple years before the war ended, but Emilia didn’t want to disclose that she had been a part of the group who had founded the Babylon Rogues operation and arrested them.

Granted, she was a part of the Freedom fighter then, a lot smaller, with brighter pink fur, and quills that stuck up in all directions-- but, it would be awkward, ya know?

Anyways, they didn’t get along super well, and Wave was a decent person trying to find a new way in life and was fortunate enough to get the job she has. Point is: she’s intimidating and Emilia still doesn’t know how to talk to her, even after nearly 3 ½ years at the job.

Cream had joked before that maybe Emilia was bisexual because of how nervous and awkward she got around Wave, and to curb more suspicion Emilia agreed that maybe she was. And hell, maybe she was, she hadn’t experimented yet and have you seen girl’s they’re so pretty.

Emilia shook her head, frowning at her strange train of thought and picked up a box of packaged coffee beans ready to be ground. It had been resealed after she finished stocking the shelves in the back along with the rows in the front of the store, still though the box was rather full.

Emilia picked it up with ease, and Sonia the Hedgehog whistled from behind her.

 “It still amazes me how you’re so strong.” Sonia mentioned casually, Emilia hid her blush like she usually had to when Sonia was around. Yeah, Sonia the hedgehog-- Sonic’s older sister, and the only one in Empire City (aside from Manic but Emilia never saw him so he doesn’t count) who knew her identity. It was purely happenstance that they worked together, in fact it was Sonia who interviewed Emilia when she first arrived.

Sonia had been more than willing to keep the secret, even helped Emilia get the job.

“Well, ya know.” Emilia shrugged, Sonia knew but the others who worked regularly with Emilia knew of her second job.

“I bet, you’re the backbone of that place, Emi.” Jian, the white tiger said moving past the two pink hedgehogs. Jian was the tallest member of their establishment, but she was rather quiet and mostly lingered some days as she was the store manager.

Jian was very excited when she found out Emilia was a stripper, much to Emilia's own embarrassment.

“Jian, the other dancers are very good, too.” Emilia chastised, stamping down the blush rising in her cheeks.

Jian laughed easily then, taking the box out of Emilia’s hands. “C’mon, Emi, you’re the only one I’ve seen do flips in the air and land like a fairy in those platforms.”

“And stilettos.” She smiled shyly, but seeing the idea behind Jian’s praises.

“Exactly! Emilia, I can’t even begin to describe to you how difficult shit like that is.”

Sonia snickered at Emilia’s shocked face, before the younger pink hedgehog gave an irritated eye to Sonia.

“Oh, right.” Jian’s jade green eyes moved down to Wave, who was in the front wiping down the counter. “Wave, you were supposed to be out of here at 5.”

Wave stalled, giving a slight shrug. “Well, you guys were busy and there was plenty for me to do up here-”

“Get your ass out of here.”

Sonia snickered again and Jian’s eyes moved to hers. Arms still tense from holding the heavy box. “You too, Hedgehog.” Sonia opened her mouth but closed it immediately, smiling at Emilia.

“Good luck tonight, Rose.” she winked. Emilia’s face blushed scarlet at the use of her name, surname and stage name.

Yeah, she wasn’t very creative…

Cream was in front of the cafe at 7:30 sharp, her little red car playing music a little too loud as she sat texting on her phone.

Jian gave Amy a well meaning smile as the two locked up the cafe and parted ways.

“Heads up, Fiona has requested that we have a theme for tonight. Some of the other girls are thinking wild wild west. ” Cream warned Emilia as she slipped into the car, Emilia placed her bag in the back of Cream’s car, having had a chance to stop by her apartment earlier to grab her clothes and drop off homework.

“Gross.” Emilia commented. “Why not outer space?”

“Oooo, that’s good. Dress all sexy with glittery outfits--” Emilia cut Cream off.

“I was thinking more like aliens.” Cream gave the other girl a deadpanned look.

“Of course you were.” Cream pulled out of the parking spot and sped through downtown. “Why not dress like one of the galaxies while you’re at it.”

“You could dress up like the sun.” Emilia commented, Cream scoffed.

“The only light I am is in your life , Rose.”

Emilia’s shoulders tensed at the name. She should’ve came up with a better stage name, honestly.

“I’m thinking of changing my stage name.” Emilia watched the city lights go by as the sky was already dark.

“Whyyyyy would you do that? Rose is so cute!”

Emilia placed her chin in her hand; “yeah, I guess it is.”

---------------------------

“This is not a cohesive theme girls.” Fiona Fox, the wife of the owner and one of the dancers of the club pinched the bridge of her nose as the girls in the changing room had ideas all over the place (thanks to Emilia but that’s not important).

Fiona and Carrotia had committed to the wild wild west ; Carrotia the Rabbit (not related to Cream) was Fiona’s shadow, always following her around, always doing the dirty work or her bidding, basically she was Fiona #2. Fiona wasn’t dancing tonight, but she was dressed like one of the show girls with her corset tightened where it looked painful to breathe, adorned with a little feather in her hair.

Carrotia on the other hand went for the “sexy cowboy” look with assless chaps and a loose fitting cowboy hat.

Blair, a purple cat with a red jewel in the center of her forehead, had an Arabian dancer theme for the evening with a red bra that had gold accents and a similar thong.

Mira, the yellow mongoose that had a red haired wig as a part of her costume, had a similar outfit that Blair had but with blue and silver accents instead of the ruby reds of Blair’s.

Cream went with a red riding hood look; complete with the short dress that wasn’t even considered a dress, and a tear away front of white frills. The red cape was tied daintily around her throat.

Emilia was, as she had suggested before: an alien, though Cream was currently helping put the washable fur dye into her fur as Emilia focused on her makeup. Fiona and Carrotia shot a glare at the pair, seeing as Emilia was usually the one causing mischief among the dancers with Cream to help.

Blair and Mira were usually paired together, which made sense as they were hired at the same time. Emilia and Cream got along with them really well (probably because Cream had great hiding places but that’s besides the point).

“Are you two even done yet?” Carrotia snapped at the two of them. “If you’re not gonna coordinate with us the least you could do is be ready on time.”

Cream looked at the analog clock on the wall above the mirrors and makeup counters. She then gave Carrotia a frown and pointed at the clock.

“We’ve still got 15 minutes chill the heck out.” Cream rolled her eyes and went back to putting the red temporary fur dye in Emilia’s fur. Emilia on the other hand was busy putting silver eye shadow on her eyelids and green lipstick on, when Cream was done with the quills Emilia donned a cute little headband with red antenna on them.

Carrotia, during that time though, was staring at the analog clock. Hard. Trying to read it.

“Fine, fine!” Cream groaned out, throwing down the now empty bottle of dye. Thankfully, Emilia was mostly covered-- Cream didn’t have to worry about certain parts of Emilia. Emilia, instead of being a pink hedgehog, was now a red furred alien hedgehog with a cute silver rip away dress.

Cream shoved her heels on, glittery red things that were 7 inches tall-- taller than Carrotia’s at least, which Cream was more than happy to look down on the other rabbit with most days.

“You curse all the time why do you say ‘heck’ ?” Emilia asked Cream while also putting her own silver boots on, the heel wasn’t as intimidating as Cream's, but they were tall boots that ended above her knee.

Cream smiled at her friend. Giving a small laugh as she said: “Be-because,” she took a breath to steady herself. “Because I don’t fucking like the word Hell. ”

Cream started laughing, and even Mira giggled a bit. Carrotia rolled her eyes, checking her phone for the time as Fiona had gone out to the audience already to introduce the dancers for the evening.

Cream and Emilia stood up nearly at the same time, taking each others hands as Blair and Mira took theirs as well.

“Show time?” Cream asked them.

“Show time!” the purple cat and yellow mongoose cheered.

Emilia nodded, eyes focused on the door way out onto the stage, her heart thrummed like it did every time before she started dancing.

“Show time.”

[z5162791comp6441public]

Something Awesome Update 7a

KEYLOGGER ANALYSIS!!!

Minor update: I found out the best way to circumvent the voltage requirements would be to use a USB splitter which split the USB port on the host shield to 2 inputs, which were used for a USB power bank and then the keyboard itself. This seemed to provide enough power for my Ducky Shine 6 keyboard so I could truly emulate my standard behaviours on my keyboard rather than a low voltage Logitech keyboard. 

This part is the fun part. For the day 19/7/2019, I plugged the keylogger into my own keyboard and did the same functions I normally would on a dead day of browsing internet and some work because I am still unwell. 

The next “Keep reading” will be the full Copy paste of the keylogged. It is approx 3000 words so be warned. 

t[Enter] poke[Enter] f[Enter] azumarill[Enter] bisharp[Enter] masrshadow[Enter] scolipede smogon[Enter] back back[Enter] f[Enter] omg so I had this wild dream[Enter] im dating this jenny and then artemis tries chatting mer [Back] [Back] up[Enter] carly rae jepsen is playing[Enter] shit is WILD HHAHA[Enter] y[Enter] run away with m[Enter] cats[Enter] Jesus christ boys have any of you seen this[Enter] #furrygang[Enter] woolwo[Enter] f[Enter] george column [Down][Enter] short guy anger meme[Enter] george calombaris bagel boss[Enter] it chapter 2[Enter] z5162791[Enter] [REDACTED] as[Enter] red wing[Enter] schott[Enter] prusa mk3 backspace 3 starup guide[Enter] pok[Enter] bomber[Enter] iconic[Enter] bomber[Enter] Air bomber[Enter] j stris[Enter] [Left]  [Left]  c [Left]  [Right]  [Left]   [Right]  [Right]   [Right]  [Up]  [Up]  [Up]   [Left] c  [Left]   [Left]   [Left]  [Left]   [Up]   [Up]  [Up]  [Up]  [Left]  c [Up]  [Left]   [Left]  [Up]  [Left]  c [Left]  [Up]  [Up]  [Right]  [Up] 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[Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back] Approach: [Enter] baw [Back]  [Back]  [Back] My apo [Back] proach to this would be to hope [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  impersonate a facebook employee and request their details [Back]  [Back] the login information from David. vincent@facebook.comLog  [Back] in Credn [Back] n [Back] entials G [Back] Dear David,  [Enter] [Enter] We've detected some unsu [Back]  [Back] usa [Back] ual activity on your facebook page and hav  [Back] e temporarily disabled the page. To regain access to the page, please t [Back] send your s [Back] username and password [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back] reply with your username ndpassword, [Enter] [Enter] [Back]  [Back]  [Back] .  [Enter] [Enter] Ta [Back] hanks  [Back] ,  [Enter] [Enter] Vincent.  [Snapshot] v v w To this I recieved  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back] eived an email from Sa [Back]  [Back] saying that Sarah deals with all the o [Back] sc [Back] c [Back] oi [Back] cial media, l [Back] ty [Back] ipping me off to that [Back]  [Back] e fact ta [Back] hat David likel  [Back] y deals with the banking, used for act [Back] part 2. vSrah [Back]  [Back]  [Back] arah Hilariously [Back] So [Back]  [Back] I switched up the email and add [Back]  [Back] so it was addressed to s [Back] Sarah and easily, I rev [Back] ceived this.   v (That was easy? [Back] !) [Enter] Part 1Approacbh [Back]  [Back] h Part 2: [Enter] This time i [Back] I would send David an email abu [Back] out payments, pretending to be a niger [Back] n [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back] Nigera [Back] ian Princ. [Back] e. I'm not sure how this system works bu  [Back] t I'll see if it does.  [Enter] Wakanda fo [Back]  [Back] ForeverVibran [Back] Vibranium Resev [Back] rves Low, nee [Back]  [Back]  [Back] Need Pyam [Back]  [Back]  [Back] aym [Back] Donations to mine [Back] d [Left]  [Left]  [Left]  [Left]  [Left]  [Left]  [Right]  [Back] nHey David. [Back] ,  [Back] tchalla@wakana [Back] da.com.au [Back] Please send  [Back] make a $1200 payment to vv [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  [Back]  v. Wakanda needs your help. 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[macbetha]

hi all! i’m so excited to share the playlist for chasing the dragon, the sequel to my first free! fanfic, eyes wide open all the time. as usual, these songs are what i use when writing each specific character / couple and i’ve highlighted some lyrics that might give you some pre-insight to the state of certain characters / gangs. you’ll notice there’s still a continuing theme of eyes and seeing that can change for each character given the context of their song. please let me know whatever theories you come up with, i’m very interested! 

G E N E R A L   T H E M E S

the prologue by halsey from ancient grudge break to new mutiny  our toil shall strive to mend

way down we go by kaleo oh, father tell me do we get what we deserve? and way down we go do you dare to look them right in the eye? ‘cause they will run you down, down to the dark yeah, son they will run you down down til you fall and they will run you down down to your core til you can’t crawl no more and way down we go

again by flyleaf i love the way that your heart breaks with every injustice and deadly fate praying it all will be new living like it all depends on you here you are down on your knees again trying to find air to breathe again right where i want you to be again

everybody wants to rule world by lorde welcome to your life there’s no turning back help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure nothing ever lasts forever

this is america by wunderworld

F R E E B I R D

we carry on by the phantoms this fire won’t go out though just a flicker it may be shifting through the shadows to a vision we can’t see clinging to this dying breath holding on for a fighting chance hold fast to one another we will stand to one another we will stand stranger to brother we are one we carry on

fools by emi all this money won’t make me switch up on crew we all dying, til then i’m riding with you

D I A M O N D  B A C K

copycat by billie eilish you got your finger on the trigger but your trigger finger’s mine silver dollar, golden flame dirty water, poison rings perfect murder, take your aim everybody knows my name

H O N E Y B L A D E

sixteen shots by stefflon don  they gon' put hands on a chick? eyes watchin' when I comin' through the door what i'mma do, they ain't prepared for no boy can tell me 'bout my mother round here and safe everybody need ammo if you hear that da-da-da-don bullets gon' hit you wherever you are

R O U G H  R A B B I T

railroad track by willy moon come along with me i’ll take you to a place you never did see yeah said i’mma go down to the railroad track and we ain’t comin’ back, no i ain’t comin’ back no more

B L O O D H O U N D 

wolf by skott please do not give up on us i’m a wolf howlin’ on your door step callin’ out

?????????

ready aim fire by imagine dragons off in the distance there is resistance  bubbling up and festering blood in the writing, stuck in the fighting look through the rifle’s sight how come i never seen your face ‘round here? i know every single face round here here in the heckle, holding the shackle  i was never welcome here

heaven knows by the pretty reckless won’t be pretty, won’t be sweet, just sitting there on their feet if you listen close you can hear them cry oh lord, heaven knows we belong way down below

haru tachibana

my sweet prince by placebo me and the dragon  can take all the pain away my sweet prince you are the one

popular by emi fuck surveillance please just close your cases i’m about to make it and rub it in yall faces they know i got birdies they want me in cages stay off my line baby, you know that shit’s tapped on the move, yeah i always got a pack serve it, i still know my purpose trust me i ain’t worth it you don’t got my prints, oh i got my hands so dirty

makoto tachibana

devil’s backbone by the civil wars oh lord, oh lord what do i do i’ve fallen for someone who’s nothing like you he’s raised on the edge of the devil’s backbone i just want to take him home oh lord, oh lord what have i done i’ve fallen in love with a man on the run there wasn’t a right or wrong he could choose he did what he had to do don’t care if he’s guilty, don’t care if he’s not he’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that i got oh lord, oh lord i’m begging you please don’t take that sinner from me 

solider, poet, king by the oh hellos there will come a solider who carries a mighty sword he will tear this city down oh lay, oh lie, oh lord there will come a poet whose weapon is his word he will slay you with his tongue oh lay, oh lie, oh lord

rin yamazaki

promises by jhene aiko i been comin’ home late night i been sleepin’ past day light baby, that ain’t right i don’t think i can make it then i hear you say that i better not do nothing crazy nami really needs you and i would never leave you  everything i do is for you and i really do adore you everything is all right, everything is in your mind if anything should happen, cause anything could know that you’ll be all right  promise i’ll be, promise you’ll be, promise we’ll be all right

better by banks why are you so afraid?  i can see you waiting, waiting, waiting withering away i can see you dying, dying, dead, dying how couldn’t you see? all the water’s cold, cold, cold and why, don’t you see? baby, try try to see me

sousuke yamazaki

fire by barns country  lonely shadows following me lonely voices talking to me a thousand times i’ve fallen my mother told me, “son let it be.” sold my soul to a sweet melody

soldier by fleurie soldier, keep on marching on head down til the work is done head in the dust, feet in the fire labor on that midnight wire listening for that angel choir you got nowhere to run you wanna take a drink of that promised land? you gotta wipe the dirt off of your hands careful son, you got dreamer’s plans but it gets hard to stand

gou matsuoka

love club by lorde i’m in a clique but now i want out i was in but i want out there are fights for being my best friend and the girls get their claws out there’s something about hanging out with the wicked kids i’m sitting pretty on the throne there’s nothing more i want except to be alone the love is choking me what about the kid? it’s time the kid got free

stay by zedd and alessia cara (acoustic) make it on your own but we don’t have to grow up we can stay forever young

isuzu mikoshiba

bad friends by emi lil aries with an attitude men always put her in a bad mood bad libra with the gold tan she like an angel with the snow man yeah i got some bad friends no you cannot have them they wanna doubt her, let her show them if you wanna talk to them you talk to me, yeah we don’t keep no company we do not need, yeah we don’t fuck around with just anybody, yeah

hiyori tono

you should see me in a crown by billie eilish bite my tongue, bide my time wearing a warning sign wait til the world is mine visions are vandalized cold on my kingdom side fell for these ocean eyes  count my cards, watch them fall blood on a marble wall you should see me in a crown i’m gonna run this nothing town

ikuya kirishima

waiting game by banks baby, i’m thinking it over what if the way we started made it something cursed from the start what if it only gets colder would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart? cause lately i been scared of even thinking ‘bout what we are i was in love but i don’t wanna cause any pain and if i’m feeling like we’re evil we got nothing to gain

asahi shiina

smile by mikky ekko we’re trying so hard to get it all right i wanna be somewhere somewhere just a little closer to grace when i’m quiet i can nearly hear him say: smile, the worst is yet to come we’ll be lucky if we ever see the sun got nowhere to go, we could be here for a while but the future is forgiven, so smile

miho amakata

i want to be evil by eartha kitt i’m tired of being pure and chaste  i want to be evil i want to spit tacks and cheat at jacks i wanna be nasty and tell lies i wanna be mean and i wanna be bad

nii satomi

the lament of eustace scrubb by the oh hellos brother, forgive me we both know i’m the one to blame cause when i saw my demons i knew them well and welcomed them father, have mercy i know that i have gone astray  cause when i saw my reflection it was a stranger beneath my face when i touched the water they tell me i could be set free

yazaki aki-mikoshiba

i got you by ciara  hush little baby, don’t you cry momma’s gonna love you all your life and if you ever need a friend momma’s right there til the very end if you’re feeling down or weak momma’s got the strength you need there’s nothing in the world that i wouldn’t do cause i love you

natsuya + nao

the golden floor by snow patrol tell me that you want to dance i wanna feel your pulse on mine just treat me like a stolen glance dark shape on a golden floor a sleeping planet with a molten core i’m a peasant in your princess arms penniless with only charm

kinjou

game of survival by ruelle who’s in the shadows who’s ready to play are we the hunters or are we the prey this is a wild game of survival

ayumu: breakaway by kelly clarkson

shizuru: generation why by conan grey

romio: jordan belfort by weswalker

haru + makoto

compass by zella day if we make it out alive compass point you anywhere closer to me where you are, i will be anywhere in between miles high in the sea

the good side by troye sivan i’ve got the good side of things left you with both of the rings i’ve got the good side of you sent it out into the blue the people danced, the sound of your heart the world sang along to it falling apart

i found by amber fun and i’ll use you as a warning sign i’ll use you as a focal point so i don’t lose sight of what i want  i’ll lose you as a makeshift gate of how much to give and how much to take and i’ve fell farther than i thought i could but i missed you more than i thought you would i found love where it wasn’t supposed to be right in front of me talk some sense to me

sousuke + rin

if it hadn’t been for love by the steeldrivers never would have run through the blinding rain  without one dollar to my name if it hadn’t been for love never would have seen the trouble that i’m in i wouldn’t be free if it hadn’t been for love four cold walls without parole lord have mercy on my soul

↳ namiko: boats & birds by gregory and the hawk if you’ll be my star, i’ll be your sky you can hide underneath me and come out at night when i turn jet black and you show off your light i live to let you shine ebbing and flowing and pushed by the breeze i live to make you free but you can sky rocket away from me and never come back if you find another galaxy far from here, with more room to fly just leave me your stardust to remember you by

hiyori + ikuya

loyal by 6lack i been studying you ever since we locked eyes even knew your favorite pie, said that it was key lime i don’t want this kind of life, so can you please get it right why you keep lyin’ why the fuck you keep lyin? i know i been loyal, baby showed you how to ball like a hoya, baby see them talkin’ i’m like so what have you walkin’ through the fucking party with your nose up i treat you like you royal, royal, royal tell the truth, don’t you soil, soil, soil i can tell cause i know you, know you

sunflower by swae lee thinking in a bad way, loosing your grip screaming at my face, baby don’t trip some things you just can’t refuse ride my like a cruise and i’m not trying to lose you’re the sunflower i think your love would be too much

isuzu + gou

crush by tessa violet  you make it difficult to not overthink and when i’m with you i turn all shades of pink i wanna touch you but don’t wanna be weird but i could be your crush throw you for a rush