#EDIT: It was a fun day! I randomly got my first tattoo and went to see live music during a goth night and it was GR8

[insignificantstrawberry]

I just took my meds at 3pm today and I usually take them at 5:30am (or like… 8am-10am on a weekend) let’s see what kind of a time I’ll have today lmao

[ad1thi]

2020 fic recs!! [Part 1]

this idea was stolen from @iam93percentstardust cuz i just,,,thought that this year was absolute shit and it would be nice to make a fic rec list of fics from this year that helped me through it. this will be over a range of fandoms and ships, but all fics were written this year. 

fics are ordered by the month they were published. ive tried to keep to five fics per month, but this is not obviously all the fics ive read that month - i just didn’t want to make this insanely long. 

im releasing the first half of this on the 1st of December, and the second half on the 1st of January 2021 - because otherwise it would just get so long (and also so i will actually have fics for December)

happy reading!! hopefully you find fics on this you haven’t read yet

***

January

The cat is mighty dignified (until the dog comes by): @five-wow

Steve and Danny find them on the pillow in the corner of the dining area, where Eddie is on his side, ass half on the floor because the pillow is more cat-sized than lab-sized, and Pickles is nestled between Eddie’s front legs, essentially being spooned and looking very I-got-the-cream about it. Pickles’ head is tucked into the crook of Eddie’s neck and Eddie’s head slots perfectly on top of Mr. Pickles’, like a furry jigsaw puzzle.

“They’re cuddling,” Steve points out, unnecessarily.

Or: There is a love story unfolding under the McGarrett roof.

Captain ‘Socialist Rage Muffin’ America: @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah

It takes three months of dating Steve Rogers for Tony to understand why Aunt Peggy once shot at him in sheer frustration.

Alternately titled, Honey, I committed treason again.

The Best Laid Plans (Of Mice and Men): @arboreal-elm-ash-oak

His Dark Materials AU

It was Annalise who noticed their small visitor first.

“Tony,” the spider daemon said softly, skittering up the collar of his dress shirt, two of her eight legs resting delicately against his cheek, “Don’t startle them, but I believe we have a guest. Look, by the coffee table.”

Fourteen Million to One: @tunastorks

Six months after Thanos, six months after Tony’s death, six months after Steve returns to his own timeline, Tony Stark turns up on their doorstep.

Brewed Awakening: @iam93percentstardust

Two years after he comes out of the ice, Steve is drifting through life. On his teammate's recommendation, he decides to go back to school where he meets the grandson of an old friend. He finds happiness with Tony but Steve won't be in Boston forever and someone is out to hurt the Starks. Will Steve and Tony be able to reach their happily ever after?

February

the young, the reckless and the foolish: @bruciewayne

In most universes, they don't know each other, not in the slightest, or they hate each other, in a way that's perfectly logical for anyone who were to find themselves in a similar situation.

In this one, they've known each other since they were four years old and naively idealistic.

This is them over the years, against the odds.

a giant sign: @areiton

“Think you can get him to open the weapons division up again?” his CO asks, his voice hungry and Rhodey laughs because this--

“No. Tony hung up his weapons.”

“That’s not what the suit says,” his CO objects, and Rhodey shrugs.

Tony has always had rules, rules he expects the entire world to live by.

And then there was Rhodey, slipping under them.

my heart is driftwood, floating down your coast: @nethandrake

Tonight, there’s a stranger in his backseat. That’s not unusual.

He’s also sad. That’s not unusual either.

What is unusual is that the stranger is silent.

(One night, a stranger enters Steve's taxi. Nothing is the same again.)

Just A Cold: @/delighted 

There’s a new text waiting for him. It’s from Steve of course, and it’s vaguely threatening as most messages from Steve are these days. Still Danny ignores it, and now he’s really playing with fire. Maybe it’ll burn the cold out of him.

Or, Danny’s sick, and Steve can’t stay away. The usual comfort fluff. With a little cameo from a gently meddling Grace.

An Unexpected Guide: @/Rachel500

Danny Williams has hidden his Guide status to keep being a detective, but his time of hiding is up when he unexpectedly finds his Sentinel, Steve McGarrett in the midst of a tragedy.

March

Why don’t we (Collide the spaces that divide us): @five-wow

When they finally catch sight of each other again through the milling crowds, they’re both a little worse for wear. Danny’s left side is covered in glitter and every time he brushes a hand over his hair, more blue and purple confetti rains down. Steve is- Well, Steve is randomly shirtless, which is all things considered not excessively remarkable, but he’s also covered in smudges of colorful paint and has a very nicely printed bloodred lipstick kiss mark on his cheek.

“What did you do?” Danny asks, because it looks like Steve had a lot more fun than he did.

Or: Steve and Danny accidentally end up in the middle of something entirely new.

A Little Unsteady: @finduilasclln 

Written for the Tumblr prompt meme : "Hey! I was gonna eat that!"

Tony lashes out at Bucky for eating his dessert. Only, it really isn't about the dessert.

a national treasure: @starklysteve

Steve isn't looking for an apple and Tony decides his passion is to inspire young souls. -x- OR: the AU where Tony is a Youtuber and Steve is Captain America and somehow they still save the world together.

April

cycle through: @ambivalentmarvel

Twenty-five years ago, Tony Stark disappeared from his family home a month after the tragic deaths of his parents, Howard and Maria Stark, leaving a billion-dollar tech conglomerate without an heir and the world wondering what happened.

Twenty-three years ago, HYDRA gained another super soldier.

Ten years ago, Peter Parker’s parents died in what is ruled as a home invasion gone wrong but he knows was murder, plain and simple, because he spoke to the killer.

And in the present, Project Insight fails, and the Iron Soldier pays the price.

FOREVER-LOVE YOU-I: @/Eudoxia

Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.

Especially for Tony's soulmate.

--

Companion piece to my fic Thumb, Index, and Pinky Extended. This is Steve's POV, with a few extra scenes, as a treat.

(Edit: Sorry if you guys get multiple notifications for this. I just realized (about two hours after posting it) that I fucked up the grammar in the title and I HAD to fix it. YOLO, I guess.)

come build a home out of me: @maguna-stxrk

Steve clears his throat.

“What if I went with you?” he asks nonchalantly, like his heart isn’t threatening to beat out of his ribcage.

Tony blinks a few times, looking at Steve, his mouth ajar. “As a— As my date?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods, feeling a little breathless.

“You don’t mind?” Tony furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t. In fact, you can just tell them I’m your boyfriend. I’m sure they’ll back off, wouldn’t they?”

What.

“I— Huh?” Tony stares at him, brown eyes blown wide open.

What. What. What.

“Huh? Uh, I mean— You know, that way people will see that you have definitely moved on. Monica will see that you have moved on. Right?” Steve smiles, hoping that it masks his inner panic, because what?

Steve Rogers, what have you done?

i don’t have a choice (but i’d still choose you): @nethandrake

There’s a name inked onto his chest, a name written in an all-too familiar scrawl. And it’s— It’s—

Steve doesn’t realize his body is quaking until he’s tracing the tattoo with a shaky finger.

Because of course that is the name etched into the skin. Like a brand, a reminder for everything he has done. An appropriate retribution.

Anthony Edward Stark.

(When Thanos snaps half of the universe away, he unknowingly leaves the other half with soulmarks.)

ua haʻalele ʻoe iaʻu (a ua hoʻomālamalama ʻoe iaʻu): @just-fandomthings

"The truth is, I was shot in the chest and nearly died, and not even three days after I was released from the hospital, you up and left-- and of those two, I'm not sure which one hurt me worse!"

(Coda to 10x22 because come on, we all need a better ending than the one given to us.)

Title loosely translates to: "You left me in the dark (you lit me up)" -- inspired by the brilliant song "Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur

May

A Piece Of The Past: @hddnone

It had been so many years since Bucky had gone undercover in the Stark family's mob, he thought he'd gotten away clean.

Then Tony Stark slid into the seat across from him at his breakfast diner, and Bucky's boss has a new case for him.

the privilege of loving you: @starklysteve

“Why won’t you let me touch you?”

It’s a desperate plea, half-shouted and half-whispered, Steve’s voice cracking at the end. Tony stops in his tracks, halfway to the stairs. He doesn’t dare to turn back, and he really doesn’t want to fight, or to leave, to spend the last month of his life away from his husband and their son. But Steve can’t know, can he?

-x-

Or: Tony has palladium poisoning, but he doesn't tell Steve and Peter

your pillow feels so soft now (but still you must advance): @firebrands

When Bruce is 13, he decides to go to boarding school. It's an opportunity for him to learn about other people, and how to interact with them.

Bruce has the misfortune of meeting Tony Stark upon his arrival in Roxbury. Bruce is moving into his room, and Tony opens the door of his room to watch. He looks a bit younger than Bruce, hair wild and eyes bright. Bruce has never seen a boy like him before—handsome and confident.

Bruce doesn’t like it.

IMPORTANT: This fic has them meeting at 14, then progresses slowly until they’re 17. Includes underage drinking and kissing.

This is set before Bruce becomes Batman and Tony becomes Iron Man and I have no explanation as to how or why they just DO Canonically, Bruce is 17 when he finishes school and goes around the world to train, so we're sticking with that

The Real MVP: @sword-and-stars (part of a series)

[“I have saved this Tuesday!” Sokka announces, rattling the bag upon reentry.

Zuko doesn’t even look up from his phone as he deadpans, “It’s Thursday.”

Okay, so Sokka is still having trouble getting his days right without checking. At least he’s gone back to sleeping at night! Going to bed at night is way easier when you have a cute, cuddly boyfriend who starts falling asleep around eleven o’clock. It also helps that he and Zuko are on solid gold butt-touching terms.

It’s been a while since Sokka has been on butt-touching terms with someone and it’s amazing.]

Or,

Sokka knows a guy, gets laid, and introduces Zuko to the merits of an afternoon delight.

When is a bed not a bed? (When you’re not in it): @riotwritesthings

There’s a tiny safe house, with one tiny window and one tiny couch.

And one tiny little bed.

June

Nice Fingers: @anthonyed

A single compliment given by Tony stirs Bucky restless until he caves in and asks him out on a date.

With Steve’s help of course (whether he likes it or not).

The Darkest Touch: @starkrogerrs

This is the story of how Steve finds that it has been ordained that he is to marry a monster he cannot resist aka the God of Love himself, Tony.

It's Cupid x Psyche retold, but with thrice the amount of porn.

The Night Shift:  @weethreequarter

Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.

Wind Beneath My Wings: @iam93percentstardust

Sam first meets Tony Stark in 2005 when he joins the EXO-7 Falcon program.

In jest: @/apathyinreverie

“No, babe,” Danny shakes his head with a grin. “If the apocalypse were to go down while I’m elsewhere for some godforsaken reason, then you stay put and I’m coming to wherever you are.” His grin widens. “And I expect you to have cleared any aliens or zombies or whatever else might be messing with us off the island and to have set up a nice, comfortable military dictatorship for us to rule over by the time I get back.”

It’s a joke.

Of course it’s a joke.

Until it isn’t.

(A the-day-after-tomorrow-style apocalypse AU, where the world decides to end right when Danny is visiting one of the other islands with Grace. Because, of course, it does.)

[birdsaesthetic]

Jane’s sketchbook

Summary: Jane freaking out over losing her sketchbook, my participation for 12 Days of Blindspot.

A/N: I wrote this a while ago then ignored it... But then I saw these prompts from @holidayblindspot which reminded me of already having written something that goes with one of the prompts, so I thought this was a sign for me to edit it real quick and post it. I’m so exited to be sharing this here because it’s beautiful and really worth sharing. ENJOY! 

Day 5: A ruined day. 

“Kurt,” Jane called from across the front room, to which Kurt immediately looked up and responded, “Yeah?”

“Have you seen my sketchbook?”

Looking around him quickly yet carefully, Kurt murmured, “No,” he then looked up at her, who seemed stunned at having heard the No from him. 

The two were in the middle of unpacking the boxes they brought up with them from their old apartment in New York all the way to the new one in Colorado, which, after managing to unpack the majority of the boxes and placing their contents ever since morning, it finally started to feel like home. Like their old apartment in New York. 

Doing so had been so fun at first, each one was having a glass of red wine in hand and there was loud music playing in the background and, since there weren’t curtains covering the windows just yet, there was the beautiful addition of bright and warm sunlight streaming inside the spacious front room that felt so rewarding and motivating. But when the sun went down, taking with it its light and warmth, the work got monotonous, and so by now they were both exhausted and hungry. 

Jane was also confused now. 

She looked down at all the boxes scattered on the floor around her, which were almost empty by now, and she felt the world spinning around her in confusion and fear for having been unable to locate her sketchbook among all these boxes. 

“Why? Couldn’t you find it?” Asked Kurt, seemingly confused too as he approached her.

Creases were starting to form on her forehead as she shook her head in confusion. “No,” she said quietly, then jumped from one box to another, double checking each one, randomly, quickly and with both hands, as if she were digging into a hole. And then, after all of that, which was in a span of thirty seconds, she shook her head yet again, though this time in disappointment, and looked up at Kurt in a plea for understanding. “I don’t know why I can’t find it because it should be here. I put it here. I put all my small things here, and I didn’t have a lot of things!” 

Kurt was standing right before her by now, hunching over to check inside the boxes again. It was helpless, he knew; she’d already rummaged in all those boxes with eager hands and big eyes and yet found nothing... But if there was a one-in-a-million chance, he would absolutely take it when it came to her.

When his eyes, wide open, met hers, he suggested, “Okay, maybe you’ve just got confused. Try to remember where you’ve last seen it.” She swallowed hard and tried to do as told, mouth slightly open. She settled her gaze at a random spot on his chest as both of them stood close against one another, then she pushed her mind so hard to visualize where she’d last seen the sketchbook and what she was doing, so she could retrace her steps in the process and hopefully remember something. 

But it was after a long, unbearable moment when Jane pushed her lower lip out in a sad pout and gave a shake of her head. Kurt hugged her loosely then. “It’s okay, we still have another set of boxes to be delivered here tomorrow morning.” He reminded her. “Hopefully we find it within one of the boxes then.”

Jane pulled back to look up at him, the sad look remained on her face. “But those coming boxes only have the kitchen supplies!” 

“You don’t know, maybe you forgot it there!”

“It’s not possible... I put it here,”

“Everything is possible.” He encouraged, then added, “Aren’t you hungry by now, though? Because I’m so hungry! How about pb&j for dinner, huh?”

“I don’t mind.” Jane muttered with a shrug. 

Together they decided to call it a day after dinner and climbed into bed, crawling close to each other as they lied down against the mattress. Their foreheads were touching as they shared a loving gaze, then Kurt whispered, “Can I get my good night kiss, or you don’t feel like—”

“No—yes, of course you’re getting your good night kiss!” She rushed to say, reassuring him just before she smiled the tiniest of smiles and kissed him hard on the lips, to which he kissed her back even harder. After that, she placed her hand over his arm that had been wrapped around her waist beneath the blanket, lifted it, rolled over to her side, and again let his arm be wrapped around her waist. This was how she’d always loved to sleep with him: she’d turn her back to him and he’d take the cue and cuddle her from behind with a light arm across her waist beneath the blanket and a soft kiss right behind her ear that would make her hum and snuggle deeper into his embrace until they’d look like two spoons in a drawer, very tight against each other. 

As she closed her eyes and tried to sleep, hoping to raise up to a promising morning that would bring with it her sketchbook, she could swear she saw the vague afterimage of the sketchbook in her eyes, but then she opened her eyes and only saw the darkness of the bedroom...

She didn’t own a lot of things, really. The only things she owned and loved so much were that sketchbook and her marriage ring. The engagement ring was as if glued to her finger ever since she had worn it years ago. As for the sketchbook, she had always made sure to keep it within her hand reach, though this time around it oddly disappeared! 

It was the very first purchase she made solely for herself when she started to receive a regular paycheck after working formally for the FBI. At first she didn’t know what to do with such a decent amount of money since she’d already been provided with a place to stay in, clothes, a cell phone and food—usually her detail had dropped food at her place without even asking for anything back, which made her really embarrassed.

It could be the crack of dawn or early morning when Jane fluttered her eyes open the next day, and after a long moment of gazing at Kurt’s sleeping face, she gave him a soft kiss on the temple then eased herself out of bed. With her eyes half closed, she managed to step the few paces toward the bathroom, rinsed her face in the sink, brushed her teeth and finally put on a comfy sweater she gripped from the hanger. 

Yawing, she stumbled across the front room that was messy with boxes they hadn’t even bothered to flatten or push away last night, until she made it into the kitchen. There she stood in the center, stretched her neck, and yawned some more with her eyes pressed close. When she reopened her eyes, the sight of a can of cocoa shoved in the far corner suddenly inspired her. And so, as if drawn by a magnet, she stepped toward the refrigerator, opened it and examined its contents, though there wasn’t much to see. There was random stuff and among them was a brand-new bottle of milk, which she only needed to fix a cup of hot cocoa for now.

She took it out then brought up a pan. There she poured some of the milk, dissolved cocoa powder, and finally put it on the stove to simmer. Standing with folded arms in the dim lighting in the kitchen, she stared down at the pan as the milk boiled within it, and after a full minute of waiting, small curls of steam rose into the air and the scents of cocoa powered revolved all around her, to which she felt torn between wanting to savour it immediately or just stand there and inhale it. But she awaited a bit more. Next she poured everything into an oversized cup with a faint smile. 

Warming her fingers with the cup, she made her way to the dining table, then settled on a seat there as she began taking small sips of the hot cocoa before it had even cooled off, to which it took her by surprise at first at how hot it was, scalding even. 

During such times, when she woke earlier than she would and was by herself, she would bring up her sketchbook and sketch on it whatever she was feeling at the given moment. It was the perfect timing and place to do so; her thoughts would emerge so originally in the early mornings, they wouldn’t be conflicted nor affected by the day’s activities just yet. 

She hadn’t known how good she was at sketching until one day she held a pencil, a very sharp one, and began sketching without any struggle. Back then, when solving her tattoos had been what her life was basically all about, she used to sketch them individually in hopes of finding any connection that might help figure out what they actually meant. But then as the days passed, she thought she wanted to do something else, something that was in a good way stirring her heart down to the depths, just like the way her spoon was stirring her cup of cocoa now.

And so, with her pencil sharp, she began with a light outline of a face, next she worked on the eyes, which she made them like the shape of almond. She let out a sigh then,  knowing that the eyes must be the toughest part, before continuing with them. She drew the first pupil, purposely making it darker than the eye, then did the same for the other eye. She added a little shading underneath the eyes and from there she started with the nose, extending two lines where the inner corners of each eye were located. 

The rest went easy: she did the eyebrows, the lips, the beard and then the hair, creating a solid and visible looking hairline from the sides of the head. 

It was Kurt’s face that she sketched and it looked impressive at the end. She made him look as if staring at her, and made his expression soft with a faint smile—the way he’d usually look at her. 

It was quiet around her now, not a single sound, until she heard running waters within the bathroom and, a minute later, she saw Kurt emerge and approach her. “Mornin,” he smiled, his face awash with decent sleep, his hair... so fluffy she couldn’t help but think it needed a trim, so badly.

“Mornin,” she replied. 

He bent down and stole his morning kiss from her then hummed. “You taste like a really good hot cocoa!”

“Because I was drinking one.” She told him, showing him her cup, almost empty by now. 

“Can I have the same?”

“Sure.” She got up and started doing the same thing she did earlier, taking the same measurements. 

“Did you sleep well, Jane?” He asked as she waited by the stove for the cocoa to simmer. “Yeah.”

“You don’t look like you slept well.” He claimed. 

“I slept well, Kurt. Now tell me, when is our ship  gonna get here?”

“Maybe after a bit.”

She served him his cocoa in a brand-new cup, and he took it with all smiles after thanking her. 

When their another set of boxes arrived, after some time, Jane tucked all of her hair back behind her ears and, kneeling down, she eagerly began looking thoroughly in each box along with Kurt. As she’d said before, the boxes contain kitchen supplies: dishes, cups, mixing bowls, knives and spoons, a cutting board, blender, vegetable peeler and a number of whisks. 

But even after all this effort, they couldn’t find it, Jane’s sketchbook, among all of those things. 

She stood up on her feet then, and took a deep breath, tired and disappointed, her palm wiping away the sweat on her forehead and her eyes, helplessly, maintained searching in the mess of boxes on the floor. 

“It’s alright, I’ll get you a new one, I promise.” Kurt tried to soothe her, to which she looked up at him and, shaking her head, she complained, “It’s not about getting a new one, Kurt. I need my old one back. It carries lots of memories and...” she trailed off with her head falling down, but after a moment of silence Kurt approached forward until he closed the gap between them and cupped her face in his hands, lifting it to his level. “We will be making new memories here. Beautiful ones.”

“I know, but...there’s just one drawing of you within the sketchbook that I just love so much and I want it back.”

“You have lots of pencils and papers here. You also have me here. I will sit still the whole day so that you can draw me, I really wouldn’t mind, you know me.” He suggested, to which she smiled the way one corner of her mouth tilted up whenever she felt affection for him, then chuckled. “You don’t have to. I can draw you easily without having to look at you.”

He grinned. “Right, because you’re the most talented person I’ve ever met.”

“It’s not wholly because I’m that talented though. I wouldn’t be able to do that with anyone else except for you, because I always have you in my head—this is how and why I drew you in the first place. I know your face very well—even more than my own, I would say—and I know how you would look from every angle.”

He pushed his lower lip out in an impressive pout, feeling awash with affection for her. “You know lots of things about me! Do you also wanna know what I know about you?” He asked, having already slipped both hands from her face down her neck, shoulders, and finally her waist. And before she could say anything in response, he was tickling her there. “I know how to make you laugh, and laugh, and laugh.”

She was laughing then, pleading him to stop it, squirming her body out of his arms, and calling his name aloud and repeatedly, but that was only for him to reward her with more stroking against her waist, the area where he knew was very sensitive for her. She tried to fight his firm grip around her, tried to push him away, tried to run away, but seconds later she was, almost instinctively, clutching into him hard, as if holding for her life, and kept laughing nonstop, like she never had in her whole life, head dropped back exposing her neck for him to bury his face there, mouth open to the fullest, and eyes squeezed. Her laughters rolled about the front room in the early morning, like a child's spinning top, vibrant and heart-warming as it moved around them in its chaotic way. It came in fits and bursts—loud to soft to nothing when she was gasping for breaths in-between, then back to loud again and so on.

Just like this, her previous, sad face was replaced with a happy and laughing one.

He really knew how to butter her up. Always had.

A/N: I don’t really support the idea of Jeller moving out of New York after canon. I love them to be there and I think it suits them perfectly to be New Yorkers. But I had to fake it only for this fic’s plot. So they’re still in New York in my head now, enjoying themselves...

[thegc4life]

Do you any other Hawks fic ideas you'd like to write? Or is Hawks-sensei all you've got on your mind right now?

Wyv. You know not what you ask. I have to put them in categories, Wyv. Categories.

Kid!Hawks:

-Kid!Hawks growing up with the LOV (both as a permanent thing and various ridiculous drabbles) This involves Unwilling Big Brother Shigaraki, scarily willing Big SisterToga who knows all the coolest knife tricks, Best Uncle Twice who sometimes on his real good days doubles as temporary Dad, the Dad who teaches you how to hot wire cars and laugh people’s money straight out of their wallets Compress, mother-henning can-not-leave-you-alone-for-one-god-damn-minute Spinner, True Mom Kurogiri, Big Sis Mag who seems to be the only actual one that realizes that children need to sleep at some point for the love of god, extremely confused but horrifically soft Dabi who may or may not eventually turn his whole life around because of this feathered idiot that needs someone to make sure he lives a happy life whether it be a permanent shrinking or not. Oh, and Machia. The best Mountain Monster Dog brother (?) a boy could ask for.

-Kid!Hawks with UA (staff edition) also both in temporary and permanent circumstances. Temporary is already in progress. Permanent? Oh boy, permanent world. They raise him within UA so as to keep him from the Commission. Hawks often sits in on their classes with coloring books, picture books, or just to sit there and watch them. He is very smart. He picks up on things, but mostly he just likes being around all the staff. He picks a new person to sleep with every week because some of them have really shitty sleep schedules and even as a kid he knows they would feel bad keeping him up, thus forcing them to go to bed through good-person guilt so he tragets the sleepiest looking people for the week (hint: Aizawa gets picked a lot, and even if he’s not sleep deprived Hawks would pick him because he adores his grumpy cat Dad). Thirteen does crafts with him all the time. She watches every kid show and gets really into it with him. Hawks and Mic make the meals and they sing the entire time. They sing together throughout the day. Hawks will chirp out a line of notes and out of nowhere Hizashi will burst in to sing the lyrics. Midnight reads him bedtime stories cause her voices are the best. She does his nails and lets him do hers. He practices on the UA students to surprise her with new designs (the students fall over their own feet to offer to be his test subject). Snipe does little challenges with him. Things that, while technically helping him get used to controlling his quirk, are more fun than anything else because Hawks enjoys using his feathers in games. Hawks dresses up like a cowboy for an entire month, quoting old western movies and driving everyone but a very proud Snipe up the wall. Hound Dog and Hawks go on walks together ALL THE TIME. They explore the woods around UA and Hound Dog tells Cementoss to change up the geography every once in a while so they have something new to explore. He teaches Hawks how to go camping and Hawks fricken adores him and is always on his shoulders just kicking his feet or napping in Hound Dogs hair. Ectoplasm is Hawks favorite person to play any kind of tag based game because the others are too easy to catch with his feathers. But with Ectoplasm and all his clones? hawks goes nuts. Ectoplasm cried once when Hawks asked Aizawa for peg legs for Halloween and when someone asks him if he wants to be a pirate he says no because he wants to be a super cool hero like Ecto for Halloween. No one will be as cool as him. Hawks fricken loves Vlad. Like, adores him. Whenever Vlad is in the room Hawks will just go hang off his shoulders, or tuck under his arms with a book to read, or just lean against him. He has a little stuffed bull dog that has Vlad’s exact resting bitch face and carries it with him every time he leaves the dorm because he feels safer with it. He goes to Vlad when he’s injured because Vlad just takes care of it, gives him a hug, and doesn’t tell him to be more careful. Just asks if Hawks learned something and moves on. Hawks and Nezu are penpals. They see eachother every single day, but they are penpals. Hawks grows up with the most beautiful calligraphy handwriting because he keeps trying to out-do Nezu’s. He absolutely tattles on every single teacher in these letters, giving Nezu years worth of blackmail. Hawks thinks Nezu is a stuffed animal until he is fourteen because Nezu never fesses up. He just thinks the staff is even cooler for letting a stuffed animal run the place. He only ever cries around Nezu.

-Kid!Hawks UA(Student edition): So many. There’s lines I’ve written where they’re still in school when Hawks is kidified. When they’re already pros. In Canon, in Hawks-sensei, I even a small blurb sentence of Deku running a preschool that Hawks gets put into in an AU with quirks still. I can’t even... there’s too many students, cause I’d do all 1-A and 1-B. My favorite one to randomly wake up in a panick and write about though is the one where it’s Hawks-sensei verse based and Kid!Hawks gets taken in by the Monoma family. Rui and Eiko are older and Monoma is a pro-hero by then. The pure amount of fluff, sass, and Hawks spoiling that will happen. Big Brother Rui and Bigger Sister Eiko.  I think about this one a lot.

-I’m currently (slowly but progressing) writing a gift for @saltwater-sweets where Kid!Hawks is taken in by the Uraraka family. Like, he’s not even shrunk in this one. Uraraka’s newlywed parents were involved in the accident he first saved people in and they found him before the Commission. They realized his homelife situation and opened their home to him and now he is Uraraka’s big brother and that one line I threw out there? About him being a global superpower in household moving? Teaming up with Uraraka for that? Yeah.

-Kid!League of Villains and adult Hawks. Yeah, you heard me. They all get shrunk instead of him. And he can’t just... turn them in. They’re kids. They haven’t done any of the crimes their older counterparts have. And if it’s a permanent thing? They stay kids? Then he has a chance to really, truly save them. To give them the happy lives stolen from them. The Commission doesn’t like that. So Hawks takes them and runs. Dabi can be an adult too, I guess, if that’s the ship or something, but I just really wanna write Kid!LOV and Dad!Hawks.

-Kid!Aizawa. Dad!Hawks. Same concept. Beautiful dream. Need I say more.

-Kid!Hawks, Best Jeanist

-Kid!Hawks Gang Orca

-Kid!Hawks RUMI!!

Vigilante Hawks:

- Raven was born and I dived down that rabbit hole so fast I went back in time. Raven. But from a way earlier age. Those guys mugging Hawks when he was fifteen? The spark. Hawks stayed on the streets, he never went back, and he learned some things. He got some freedom, learned some shit, and realized that hero society was pretty fucked up. Shigaraki starts the LOV up and realizes there’s this whole underground community he was never aware of that Hawks has been building for years. It’s great.

-Hawks was never found by the Commission so he was never ‘Hawks’. His Dad raised him as a criminal but Hawks, with his little heart of gold, took every chance he could to make something good out of the bad deeds. Then he got old enough and he took full control. You ever seen the Levi OVA’s of Attack on Titan? Where he’s walking down the stairs and you realize every single person there is part of a huge ass gang of awesome with Levi at the head? That. THAT.

-Hawks loses his shit in Canon and goes completely AWOL. full Feral. He sees the problems, and he is prepared to do whatever it takes get rid of them. Whatever it takes.

AU Hawks

-Horribly injured, recently retired at the ripe old age of 23, and looking for something to save him from depression. Hawks meets Todoroki Fuyumi who gets him a job at her school. This one makes my brain happy.

-Takami Keigo and Todoroki Natsuo meet in college, graduate together, join the same hospital, and open one as partners as soon as they can. Ship or no ship, they go through their entire lives together. (I just... I really like the Todoroki sibs, okay?)

-Takami Keigo was born a lot earlier. So much, earlier, in fact that he is classmates with this overly optimistic ball of light named Yagi Toshinori and the grumpy ball of flame Todoroki Enji. Big Three anyone? Also, everyone needs a dumb smart birb to keep them sane. Hawks loves his friends, and he’ll kick anyone’s ass that tries to hurt them be it physically, mentally, or emotionally. Also, he meets Nana. 

-I LOVE THE IMAGINARY KAMAKIRI FAMILY DYNAMIC OKAY?! literally anything with Hawks involved in their lives, okay?! I did not expect to spiral so hard when I made up Hideo and his relationship with Kamakiri but my god did I spiral! I just really love them!

-I’m a sucker for the classics. Tattoo/flower. Coffee shop. College. Roommates. Love. 

- (she made me write this) a story surrounding the amazing love story of my sister and Iida Tenya with Aizawa crashes the wedding even though he was invited and Mirio is her maid of honor, with Eri as the ring bearer, and All Might is the flower girl. Twice is the officiator. Uraraka releases a flock of fake pigeons (not real ones cause they don’t deserve that). Oh, and everyone else is there too, I guess. Except for Mineta. Cause he’s in jail.

Right now, at this very moment, I can not for the life of me think of any others but I KNOW there’s at least seven more that I just can’t remember because my brain is work dead. Wyv. @wyvernspirit do you see what you’ve opened here? Close the box! Close it before it’s too late! There is always more! I am never without MORE ideas!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #334

"i dreamed i was missing  /  you were so scared  /  but no one would listen,  ‘cuz no one else cared”

Sunrise or sunset? Sunset has prettier colors, imo, but I enjoy the pastel nature of sunrises, too. Are you mentally ill? Oh brother. Are you physically ill? I don't have any serious physical health issues, no. Introvert or extrovert? I'm a very strong introvert. What do you think when you look at your body? That it's fucking disgusting. What have others said when they look at your body? When I was healthy, I was complimented every now and again. With the body I have now? I'm glad people keep their months shut. Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply? There's a good 'ole handful or two. Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive? It's weird, I'm not a city person at all, but possibly when I was walking the streets of Chicago with Sara and her dad one evening. There was just so much life, so many new sights, that it was impossible not to. Plus, I was at a very happy point in my life, so. I just enjoyed a lot. Are you confident wearing a bikini? FUCK NO. Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? Mentally, obviously. Everyone has at some point. I've never been seriously physically hurt by family, but Mom did spank my sisters and me as kids if we did something wrong. Biggest lie you have told? I don't really know. I get really uncomfortable telling even minor lies, so making a big one would be excruciating. I'm not saying I've never said a biggie, I'm sure in 25 years of life I said something stupid at one point, I just don't remember it. Do you believe in the Illuminati? Nah; there's some compelling evidence, but I just think it's way too big of a secret to keep. Regrets in your life? Blaming the breakup entirely on Jason and saying just plain cruel things to him afterwards. Also sending an appallingly hateful letter to Dad to vent after the divorce. Flirting with my then-best friend's boyfriend at the time behind her back. Dating Tyler (it's a small one, but still a regret). There are others, those are just the only ones coming to me right now. Achievements in your life? Lots of academic success and awards (before college, anyway...), artistic accomplishments like having my work put in a museum, surviving a traumatic breakup, (mostly) recovering from massive depression... What did people say about you in school? Nothing, really. I was a quiet student who just did her work and tried hard. Is there something you have never told anyone? Yes. If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it? First, I'm paying off college debt. Then Mom gets a new car, followed by me getting new glasses and renewing my permit. I'm getting a good terrarium setup for Venus. Then, it's tattoo time, baby, haha. I can't really do the mental math on how much this all would cost, but those are the high-priority things I can think of. Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined? Jason and I were playfighting in bed, and he had me pinned. Our faces were close, and I decided to kiss him. It was a fairy tale moment, in my eyes. He looked so bashful for once (he's far from shy) but also really happy, and I was too. Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household? Low, I think. Or maybe average, when Dad was still around. Have you been raised by a solo parent? When I was around 17, my parents split, so kinda-sorta. Do you know both your parents? Thankfully, yes. Have you abused drugs or alcohol? No. Are you comfortable accepting compliments? Ehhhh, I really appreciate them and they can make my whole day, but I'm very awkward about it. I get shy. Are you comfortable giving compliments? Oh yes. I honestly love giving compliments; I know how happy they can make me, so why not share that with others? Is any mental illness hindering your life? Guess. (: Is any physical illness hindering your life? Well, it's not an "illness," but the muscles in my legs have severely atrophied from leading such a horribly sedentary lifestyle, and that has greatly affected my ability to work without the risk of just collapsing. Walking at all is painful. Are you preparing for an apocalypse? No. I'm not really one to worry about "prepping." If it happens, it happens, man. I'm not spending loads of money on a "maybe." Are you interested in cults? Not really, no. Are your parents good cooks? Mom is fine, but it's hard to really judge Dad's cooking since he barely ever did it, plus I haven't had his cooking in many, many years. I remember he was great at making breakfast, though. That was like a rare treat, him deciding to make breakfast for everyone. Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Did you like it? No. Do you know anyone who is an actor? No. Have your wisdom teeth come through yet? They never did. Have you ever used a public pay phone? No. Have you ever made an item of clothing? No. Have you taken someone's virginity? No. Is confidence cute? "Confidence, yes. But cockiness and arrogance, no. That’s a whole different area that’s definitely not cute." <<<< Nailed it. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Doubt it. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No; rather, I drink too much of it. I'm trying really hard to lay off of it, and I drink nowhere near as much as I used to (when oddly enough, I was healthy and fit), but I'm still not comfortable drinking a can and a half a day. Listening to? "Castle of Glass" by Linkin Park. Kinda obsessed. Ever used a bow and arrow? No, but archery is cool. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? I don't think this has happened since my senior shot in HS. Take a vitamin daily? Daily, no, but I really should. I take a Vitamin D capsule every Sunday, though. Favorite Taylor Swift song? I only really like "Love Story" and "Picture to Burn." Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah. Which are better: black or green olives? I don't like olives period, but I guess black. What’s your 3rd favourite animal? Huh, never thought of #3, just #1 and #2: meerkats and opossums. Maybe snakes? Do you like mushrooms? NO. NO NO NO. What dream do you remember most vividly? One I don't talk about. A childhood nickname? Mom called me "Twinkie" and still sometimes does. ;-; Does anyone in "real life" know that you take surveys? Would you be embarrassed if they found your blog? Just Sara. And yes, regarding some people. Who was the last person you blocked on social media? Did you have an argument that lead to that happening? I'm unsure, but probably. I don't tend to just like... randomly block people. What was the first social media account you remember signing up for? Are you still a member of that particular website, if it even still exists? Of course it was MySpace. It's still floating around somewhere in cyberspace. What website from your childhood/teen years do you wish still existed? I get nostalgic over the Animal Planet forums sometimes. Have you ever met up with anyone in real life that you first met via the internet? Did you get on as well as you thought you would? Yes, Sara. I felt like it would go just fine, but it went even better than I expected - I was oddly very comfortable around her and her family. Have you ever tried any of those meal replacement shakes? Are you a fan of things like that in general? Yeah; I tried many brands until I settled for Equate, surprisingly. Cheap does not equate to bad quality, my friends. We always have the chocolate ones in the house, and they're really not bad at all. Are you the kind of person to enjoy taking naps? I love me my daily nap, man. What's your favourite kind of cheese to have on a pizza? Idk, whatever cheese is normally used, lol. What's a hobby you loved when you were younger but no longer enjoy for whatever reason? I guess video editing. I can't say I'd no longer enjoy it at all, but now the idea sounds far more like a chore than fun. Is there a popular food/drink that you can't stand? What is it and why don't you like it? I could name five dozen, but here's just a few: coffee, pie, tea, fried chicken (or is that just a Southern thing to be obsessed with?), and... of course now that I'm asked this question, I'm blanking on the huge number I know exist. As for "why," that varies, but it's either just simply a taste or even a texture thing. How would your wedding boquet look like? I want a gothic-themed wedding, so imagine a mix of black and maroon roses... whew-wee. You’re at a bar, and you witness a man drugging some girl's drink. What do you do? No hesitation, I'm decking the motherfucker. Fuck my fear of men, he's getting knocked out, and I'm immediately alerting the staff, as well as of course the girl. Kids? How many? Why? Names? Boy or girl? Y'know, loads and loads of scaly and hairy ones. Got plenty of name ideas depending on what they are and how they look. The only baby whose gender matters to me is the tarantula because females live waaaay longer. Fuck them human babies, not for me. Are you an organ donor? Absolutely. I sure as hell ain't usin' 'em once I'm dead, so consider it my last act of selflessness. Whats the most you’ve ever lost gambling? I don't gamble. What is something you can never give up (that's not love or family)? My pebble from my "graduation" from my first partial hospitalization program. It's meant to symbolize how great pain and trials can file you into something beautiful. It was passed around group, everyone holding it in their hands as they wished me well and spoke their piece about me. I'm honestly just fighting back tears remembering it. Have you ever waited in line overnight for something? No, I'm way too impatient for that shit.. Do you think having an expensive phone is a good investment? Hm. I guess it depends on what you use it for. Have you ever witnessed a birth in person? A human birth, no fucking thank you. I've only ever seen pet cats give birth. Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad does, big time. He quit drinking, but never quite managed to stay away from cigarettes. Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? Seeing as I grew up with outdoor cats that we couldn't afford to fix, pretty much all of our tomcats left for roving once they came of a certain age. Do any of your exes know each other? Juan and Jason know each other, Jason and Girt know one another as well, and Sara and Girt have met. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? I simply cannot fathom the belief that "dinosaurs never existed." Explain the fucking fossils, like come the fuck on. It's absolute denial in the name of religion. What was the very first election you voted in? This one that just passed, actually. What is one random fact about you? I want like 20 tarantulas but Mom says no. :( Do you spend a lot of time outdoors in the summer? Fuck no, I will do anything to stay inside in summer. Do you wear band tees? if yes, which one is your favorite? I love band tees, yeah. My Ninja Sex Party shirt is the most comfortable, but comfort aside, it's hard to pick a favorite. Possibly my Otep one, 'cuz the design is dope. Do you ever re-arrange your room? No. What season do you want to get married in? Fall. What is the highest name-brand thing you own? Oh god, I don't own expensive brand stuff. I guess the only exclusion would be my Cloak shirt, but even that's not like, mad pricey. What color GameBoy did you have as a kid? Red. What was your favorite GameBoy game? Maybe that Catz game? Even though the music was the most fucking obnoxious meowing ever lmao. What was the last compliment you remember someone gave to you? Who was it? It was this guy in my PHP group; my therapist surprised the fuck out of me by sharing with everyone my most recent poem (I trust him a lot, and he urges me to send him my art, so I've done that twice), and I nearly fucking died from cardiac arrest. However, this Nick guy, who's a poetry major, told me it was better than stuff he reads in his Master's program. I almost cried. Have you ever personally been friends with a stripper or prostitute? No, not that I'm opposed though or anything. If you have tattoos, which one that you have was the most painful? The one on my inner forearm. Have you ever actually met and talked to someone who’s famous? No. When was the last time you got a parking ticket for anything at all? I never have. Do you have any pets who will bite anyone else out there, besides you? No; Roman won't even come close enough to a stranger TO bite, haha. It's funny, he's so goofy and you'd guess outgoing, but instead, he's terrified of people he doesn't recognize. What’s your favorite type of sushi? I don't eat sushi. What’s your favorite patriotic song? Don't have one. Have you ever read a book about a character in a psych ward? No, and I'd really prefer not to because it would just drag me back to dark times. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? ^ Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you like soy sauce? omfg no What’s your favorite store to browse around? Morph Market. @_@ It's a hub for reptiles for sale, and I have my days where I just browse the ball python morphs for like an hour or so, haha. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend had? Christ, half my friends on Facebook are having babies, idr. I don't know who was the most recent. Do people normally say you’re a fast typer, or are you rather slow? I'm very fast. Have you ever been considered the "smartest person in school?" No; that was my friend Hannia. I'm pretty certain she would qualify as a genius. Her GPA was fucking incredible. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? No.

[whimsiesofanerdgirl]

Choose Your Own Adventure | Spooky Edition

October is here and you know what that means…GIMMEH ALL THE SPOOKY BOOKS!!!

We all know that Fall is THE season for reading, I don’t make up the rules. I just go with it.

It’s the first official month of coziness, hoodies, the best smelling candles, leaves changing, watching scary movies, and reading all those atmospheric books you’ve been saving up for the best time of the year! :)

I thought it would be fun to make a list of different spooky books depending on your preference so I categorized them because I like organizing book lists. I should have a plaque for it. Seriously.

So read on to get scary, spooky, and paranormal recommended reads. Then go get yourself the book and hunker down under a fluffy blanket and read to your heart’s content. <3

GHOSTS, HAUNTINGS, & THE DEAD

The Mediator series by Meg Cabot

Synopsis:

Suze is a mediator -- a liaison between the living and the dead. In other words, she sees dead people. And they won't leave her alone until she helps them resolve their unfinished business with the living. But Jesse, the hot ghost haunting her bedroom, doesn't seem to need her help. Which is a relief, because Suze has just moved to sunny California and plans to start fresh, with trips to the mall instead of the cemetery, and surfing instead of spectral visitations.

But the very first day at her new school, Suze realizes it's not that easy. There's a ghost with revenge on her mind ... and Suze happens to be in the way.

I loved reading these when I was in high school, but I still need to finish reading them all. It’s an oldie and a goodie! Plus, Suze has a good looking ghost named Jesse haunting her bedroom so there’s that too. ;)

Soul Screamers series by Rachel Vincent

Synopsis:

She doesn't see dead people. She senses when someone near her is about to die. And when that happens, a force beyond her control compels her to scream bloody murder. Literally. Kaylee just wants to enjoy having caught the attention of the hottest guy in school. But a normal date is hard to come by when Nash seems to know more about her need to scream than she does. And when classmates start dropping dead for no apparent reason, only Kaylee knows who'll be next.

I heard so much hype about this series, mostly positive things, but have yet to actually read it off my TBR. The ratings range from 3.5+ to 4ish stars so it must be good!

The Fade by Demitria Lunetta

Synopsis:

We don't want to disappear. We want to be found. Something terrible happened in her basement. Haley can feel it. Four girls went missing several years ago, and the police never solved the case. But Haley know the missing girls were murdered. How else can she explain the hostile presence in her house? The ghostly girls need something from her. And unless Haley can figure out what they want...she might be next.

The Witch of Willow Hall by Hester Fox

Synopsis:

Two centuries after the Salem witch trials, there’s still one witch left in Massachusetts. But she doesn’t even know it. Take this as a warning: if you are not able or willing to control yourself, it will not only be you who suffers the consequences but those around you, as well. New Oldbury, 1821 In the wake of a scandal, the Montrose family and their three daughters—Catherine, Lydia, and Emeline—flee Boston for their new country home, Willow Hall. The estate seems sleepy and idyllic. But a subtle menace creeps into the atmosphere, remnants of a dark history that call to Lydia, and to the youngest, Emeline. All three daughters will be irrevocably changed by what follows, but none more than Lydia, who must draw on a power she never knew she possessed if she wants to protect those she loves. For Willow Hall’s secrets will rise, in the end…

Haunting Emma series by Lee Nichols

Synopsis:

When Emma Vaile's parents leave on mysterious business trip, it gives her the perfect excuse to be a rebellious teen. Throw some parties, get a tattoo (or maybe just a piercing), and enjoy the first few weeks of her junior year. Then her best friend stops talking to her, the cops crash her party, and Emma finds herself in the hands of a new guardian?her college-age "knight in J.Crew armor," Bennett Stern?and on a plane to his museum-like mansion in New England.

After enrolling at Thatcher Academy, Emma settles in by making friends with the popular legacy crowd. But she can't shake the strange visions that are haunting her. She has memories of Thatcher she can't explain, as if she's returning home to a place she's never been. Emma doesn't trust anyone anymore?except maybe Bennett. But he's about to reveal a ghostly secret to Emma. One that will explain the visions . . . and make Emma fear for her life.

The Soul Seekers series by Alyson Noel

Synopsis:

Until now, he's existed only in her dreams - but fate is about to bring them together. I shove through the crowd, knocking into girls and bouncing off boys, until one in particular catches me, steadies me. I feel so secure, so at home in his arms. I melt against his chest-lift my gaze to meet his. Gasping when I stare into a pair of icy blue eyes banded by brilliant flecks of gold that shine like kaleidoscopes, reflecting my image thousands of times. The boy from my dream. The one who died in my arms. Strange things are happening to Daire Santos. Crows mock her, glowing people stalk her, time stops without warning, and a beautiful boy with unearthly blue eyes haunts all her dreams. Fearing for her daughter’s sanity, Daire’s mother sends her to live with the grandmother she’s never met. A woman who recognizes the visions for what they truly are—the call to her destiny as a Soul Seeker—one who can navigate the worlds between the living and dead. There on the dusty plains of Enchantment, New Mexico, Daire sets out to harness her mystical powers. But it’s when she meets Dace, the boy from her dreams, that her whole world is shaken to its core. Now Daire is forced to discover if Dace is the one guy she's meant to be with...or if he’s allied with the enemy she's destined to destroy.

This is another series I need to finish! I got through book 3, but it definitely kept my attention. I haven’t read a lot of books about Native American rituals and I found it so fascinating in this series. Not to mention the cute boy and spirit walking!

HORROR

The Last ApprenticeI series by Joseph Delaney

Synopsis:

For years, Old Gregory has been the Spook for the county, ridding the local villages of evil. Now his time is coming to an end. But who will take over for him? Twenty-nine apprentices have tried—some floundered, some fled, some failed to stay alive. Only Thomas Ward is left. He's the last hope, the last apprentice.

I’ve never read this series though I have watched the movie which I enjoyed. From what I’ve heard from my hubby it’s a super freaky book series and to be honest the book covers confirm that for me!

The Archived series by Victoria Schwab

Synopsis:

Imagine a place where the dead rest on shelves like books. Each body has a story to tell, a life seen in pictures only Librarians can read. The dead are called Histories, and the vast realm in which they rest is the Archive. Da first brought Mackenzie Bishop here four years ago, when she was twelve years old, frightened but determined to prove herself. Now Da is dead, and Mac has grown into what he once was: a ruthless Keeper, tasked with stopping often violent Histories from waking up and getting out. Because of her job, she lies to the people she loves, and she knows fear for what it is: a useful tool for staying alive. Being a Keeper isn't just dangerous—it's a constant reminder of those Mac has lost, Da's death was hard enough, but now that her little brother is gone too, Mac starts to wonder about the boundary between living and dying, sleeping and waking. In the Archive, the dead must never be disturbed. And yet, someone is deliberately altering Histories, erasing essential chapters. Unless Mac can piece together what remains, the Archive itself may crumble and fall. In this haunting, richly imagined novel, Victoria Schwab reveals the thin lines between past and present, love and pain, trust and deceit, unbearable loss and hard-won redemption.

The strange thing about this series is that I never heard much about it online. I came across it randomly scouring Goodreads one day last year or so. Victoria Schwab is basically the dark fantasy queen in the online YA community which is partially the reason I put it on my TBR list. Recently it’s been in the news that we will be getting a TV series for it on the CW so boys and girls bump this up on your TBR so you don’t miss out!

Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children series by Ransom Riggs

Synopsis:

A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. A strange collection of very curious photographs. It all waits to be discovered in Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, an unforgettable novel that mixes fiction and photography in a thrilling reading experience. As our story opens, a horrific family tragedy sets sixteen-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that the children were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. They may have been quarantined on a deserted island for good reason. And somehow-impossible though it seems-they may still be alive. A spine-tingling fantasy illustrated with haunting vintage photography, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children will delight adults, teens, and anyone who relishes an adventure in the shadows.

If this book is anything like the movie it is FREAKY! I’d give this 5 out of 5 stars for the scary factor. You’ve been forewarned.

The Missing Season by Gillian French

Synopsis:

Whenever another kid goes missing in October, the Pender kids know what is really behind it: a horrific monster out in the marshes they have named the Mumbler. That’s what Clara’s new crew tells her when she moves to town: Bree and Sage, who take her under their wing; spirited Trace, who has taken the lead on this year’s Halloween prank war; and magnetic Kincaid, whose devil-may-care attitude and air of mystery are impossible for Clara to resist. Clara doesn’t actually believe in the Mumbler. But as Halloween gets closer and tensions build in the town, it’s hard to shake the feeling that there really is something dark and dangerous in Pender, lurking in the shadows, waiting to bring the stories to life.

His Hideous Heart by 13 YA Authors / Edited by Dahlia Adler

Synopsis:

Thirteen of YA’s most celebrated names reimagine Edgar Allan Poe’s most surprising, unsettling, and popular tales for a new generation. Edgar Allan Poe may be a hundred and fifty years beyond this world, but the themes of his beloved works have much in common with modern young adult fiction. Whether the stories are familiar to readers or discovered for the first time, readers will revel in Edgar Allan Poe’s classic tales, and how they’ve been brought to life in 13 unique and unforgettable ways. Contributors include Kendare Blake (reimagining “Metzengerstein”), Rin Chupeco (“The Murders in the Rue Morge”), Lamar Giles (“The Oval Portrait”), Tessa Gratton (“Annabel Lee”), Tiffany D. Jackson (“The Cask of Amontillado”), Stephanie Kuehn (“The Tell-Tale Heart”), Emily Lloyd-Jones (“The Purloined Letter”), Hillary Monahan (“The Masque of the Red Death”), Marieke Nijkamp (“Hop-Frog”), Caleb Roehrig (“The Pit and the Pendulum”), and Fran Wilde (“The Fall of the House of Usher”).

The Beast is an Animal by Peternelle van Arsdale

Synopsis:

A girl with a secret talent must save her village from the encroaching darkness in this haunting and deeply satisfying tale. Alys was seven when the soul eaters came to her village. These soul eaters, twin sisters who were abandoned by their father and slowly morphed into something not quite human, devour human souls. Alys, and all the other children, were spared—and they were sent to live in a neighboring village. There the devout people created a strict world where good and evil are as fundamental as the nursery rhymes children sing. Fear of the soul eaters—and of the Beast they believe guides them—rule village life. But the Beast is not what they think it is. And neither is Alys. Inside, Alys feels connected to the soul eaters, and maybe even to the Beast itself. As she grows from a child to a teenager, she longs for the freedom of the forest. And she has a gift she can tell no one, for fear they will call her a witch. When disaster strikes, Alys finds herself on a journey to heal herself and her world. A journey that will take her through the darkest parts of the forest, where danger threatens her from the outside—and from within her own heart and soul.

This has probably been one of the creepiest books I’ve ever read, but I’ve also never read Stephen King soooo take that however you’d like. Might want to read this one in the day time to be on the safe side.

VAMPIRES

The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh

Synopsis:

In 1872, New Orleans is a city ruled by the dead. But to seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau, New Orleans provides her a refuge after she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in Paris. Taken in by the sisters of the Ursuline convent along with six other girls, Celine quickly becomes enamored with the vibrant city from the music to the food to the soirées and—especially—to the danger. She soon becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as La Cour des Lions, after catching the eye of the group's leader, the enigmatic Sébastien Saint Germain. When the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in the lair of La Cour des Lions, Celine battles her attraction to him and suspicions about Sébastien's guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret. When more bodies are discovered, each crime more gruesome than the last, Celine and New Orleans become gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the loose—one Celine is sure has set her in his sights . . . and who may even be the young man who has stolen her heart. As the murders continue to go unsolved, Celine takes matters into her own hands and soon uncovers something even more shocking: an age-old feud from the darkest creatures of the underworld reveals a truth about Celine she always suspected simmered just beneath the surface. At once a sultry romance and a thrilling murder mystery, master storyteller Renée Ahdieh embarks on her most potent fantasy series yet: The Beautiful.

There has been soooo much hype around this one and yes, it’s on my TBR. If you’re into Vampire Diaries this sounds like a great read for you!

Blue Bloods series by Melissa de la Cruz

Synopsis:

When the Mayflower set sail in 1620, it carried on board the men and women who would shape America: Miles Standish; John Alden; Constance Hopkins. But some among the Pilgrims were not pure of heart; they were not escaping religious persecution. Indeed, they were not even human. They were vampires. The vampires assimilated quickly into the New World. Rising to levels of enormous power, wealth, and influence, they were the celebrated blue bloods of American society. The Blue Bloods vowed that their immortal status would remain a closely guarded secret. And they kept that secret for centuries. But now, in New York City, the secret is seeping out. Schuyler Van Alen is a sophomore at a prestigious private school. She prefers baggy, vintage clothes instead of the Prada and pearls worn by her classmates, and she lives with her reclusive grandmother in a dilapated mansion. Schuyler is a loner...and happy that way. Suddenly, when she turns fifteen, there is a visible mosaic of blue veins on her arm. She starts to crave raw food and she is having flashbacks to ancient times. Then a popular girl from her school is found dead... drained of all her blood. Schuyler doesn't know what to think, but she wants to find out the secrets the Blue Bloods are keeping. But is she herself in danger?

I remember reading this yeeears ago when it first came out and now all I can think of is Gossip Girl, but with vampires.

Sunshine by Robin McKinley

Synopsis:

There had not been any trouble out at the lake in years. Sunshine just needed a spot where she could be alone with her thoughts for a minute. But then the vampires found her . . . Now, chained and imprisoned in a once-beautiful decaying mansion, alone but for the vampire, Constantine, shackled next to her, Sunshine realizes that she must call on her own hidden strength if she is to survive. But Constantine is not what she expected of a vampire, and soon Sunshine discovers that it is he who needs her, more than either of them know. Originally published as an adult novel, but now in YA for the first time, Sunshine is an alluring and captivating vampire story one that will ensnare fans of paranormals everywhere.

I loved this book! If you’re in the mood for something fresh in the vampire genre you should check it out. Plus, I HIGHLY recommend Robin McKinley in general. She has absolutely amazing fairy tale retellings!

Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer

Synopsis:

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him—and I didn't know how dominant that part might be—that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. In the first book of the Twilight Saga, internationally bestselling author Stephenie Meyer introduces Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, a pair of star-crossed lovers whose forbidden relationship ripens against the backdrop of small-town suspicion and a mysterious coven of vampires. This is a love story with bite.

What kind of list would this be without the Twilight saga? If you haven’t heard of this before, have you been living under a rock? It’s a great story that pulls you in - you’ve got your historical fiction back story, folklore, vampires, romance, love triangle further in the series if you’re into that kinda thing (yes, I am).

Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead

Synopsis:

Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies . . . Lissa Dragomir is a Moroi princess: a mortal vampire with a rare gift for harnessing the earth's magic. She must be protected at all times from Strigoi; the fiercest vampires - the ones who never die. The powerful blend of human and vampire blood that flows through Rose Hathaway, Lissa's best friend, makes her a dhampir. Rose is dedicated to a dangerous life of protecting Lissa from the Strigoi, who are hell-bent on making Lissa one of them. After two years of freedom, Rose and Lissa are caught and dragged back to St. Vladimir's Academy, a school for vampire royalty and their guardians-to-be, hidden in the deep forests of Montana. But inside the iron gates, life is even more fraught with danger . . . and the Strigoi are always close by. Rose and Lissa must navigate their dangerous world, confront the temptations of forbidden love, and never once let their guard down, lest the evil undead make Lissa one of them forever . . .

This was another vampire teenage sensation of its time. I have yet to get around to reading this (I’m looking at you TBR pile…and there’s this thing called new releases, sigh), but from what I’ve heard many people enjoyed it in the online community. It’s only right that we all get a taste of this!

House of Night series by P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast

Synopsis:

After a Vampire Tracker Marks her with a crescent moon on her forehead, 16-year-old Zoey Redbird enters the House of Night and learns that she is no average fledgling. She has been Marked as special by the vampyre Goddess Nyx and has affinities for all five elements: Air, Fire Water, Earth and Spirit. But she is not the only fledgling at the House of Night with special powers. When she discovers that the leader of the Dark Daughters, the school’s most elite club, is mis-using her Goddess-given gifts, Zoey must look deep within herself for the courage to embrace her destiny – with a little help from her new vampyre friends (or Nerd Herd, as Aphrodite calls them).

This is what I’d call another popular staple of the vampire era (which tbh I feel like vamps are coming back - YESH). I’d say these were as big as the Twilight series though they must not have gotten enough hype to get its own movie series or TV show. I loved the mix of different races and magic, it wasn’t just about vampires. If you’re feeling vampires and want different elements you should give it a shot.

SHAPESHIFTERS

The Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs

Synopsis:

Mercedes Thompson, aka Mercy, is a talented Volkswagen mechanic living in the Tri-Cities area of Washington. She also happens to be a walker, a magical being with the power to shift into a coyote at will. Mercy's next-door neighbor is a werewolf. Her former boss is a gremlin. And she's fixing a bus for a vampire. This is the world of Mercy Thompson, one that looks a lot like ours but is populated by those things that go bump in the night. And Mercy's connection to those things is about to get her into some serious hot water...

This is an adult paranormal romance series, but my god…I LOOOOOVE IT WITH A PASSION! This is literally in my top 5 faves and for good reason. There are a multitude of creatures/races and I really love that aspect along with the fact that it’s an urban fantasy. Patricia Briggs writes so well that you’ll think that the story is based off real events and feel like you’re inside the story itself. It’s got werewolves, skinwalkers, vampires, fae, and other races as well. If you want to immerse yourself into the paranormal universe this is the series you’re looking for.

Shifters series by Rachel Vincent

Synopsis:

There are only eight breeding female werecats left... And I'm one of them. I look like an all-American grad student. But I am a werecat, a shape-shifter, and I live in two worlds. Despite reservations from my family and my Pride, I escaped the pressure to continue my species and carved out a normal life for myself. Until the night a Stray attacked. I'd been warned about Strays — werecats without a Pride, constantly on the lookout for someone like me: attractive, female, and fertile. I fought him off, but then learned two of my fellow tabbies had disappeared. This brush with danger was all my Pride needed to summon me back... for my own protection. Yeah, right. But I'm no meek kitty. I'll take on whatever — and whoever — I have to in order to find my friends. Watch out, Strays — 'cause I got claws, and I'm not afraid to use them...

Rachel Vincent is a phenomenal writer. She has written both YA and adult series though I haven’t read any of her YA books, I was entranced with her Shifters series. The way she writes her characters and you can really feel the intensity of the relationships between them. I highly recommend this series if you love the shapeshifter genre.

Nightshade series by Andrea Cremer

Synopsis:

Calla Tor has always known her destiny: After graduating from the Mountain School, she'll be the mate of sexy alpha wolf Ren Laroche and fight with him, side by side, ruling their pack and guarding sacred sites for the Keepers. But when she violates her masters' laws by saving a beautiful human boy out for a hike, Calla begins to question her fate, her existence, and the very essence of the world she has known. By following her heart, she might lose everything- including her own life. Is forbidden love worth the ultimate sacrifice? "A finely-wrought compelling tale of romance and treachery..." -Cynthia Leitich Smith (New York Times bestselling author of Eternal and Tantalize)

The Wolves of Mercy Falls series by Maggie Stiefvater

Synopsis:

For years, Grace has watched the wolves in the woods behind her house. One yellow-eyed wolf—her wolf—is a chilling presence she can't seem to live without. Meanwhile, Sam has lived two lives: In winter, the frozen woods, the protection of the pack, and the silent company of a fearless girl. In summer, a few precious months of being human… until the cold makes him shift back again. Now, Grace meets a yellow-eyed boy whose familiarity takes her breath away. It's her wolf. It has to be. But as winter nears, Sam must fight to stay human—or risk losing himself, and Grace, forever.

This isn’t your usual werewolf story. If I remember correctly, werewolves in this series have a genetic mutation that causes them to shift when the weather turns colder and appear to turn more wolf than man. This was a lovely trilogy of romance and if you read reviews on Goodreads you’ll find many others agree. The twist on shapeshifters and simple romantic relationship between Grace and Sam will have you rooting for them on page one.

Otherkin series by Nina Berry

Synopsis:

Dez is a good girl who does as she's told and tries not to be noticed. Then she rescues a boy from a cage, and he tells her secrets about herself. Now inside her burns a darkness that will transform her. Everything is about to change--and neither Caleb, nor the Otherkin, nor those who hunt them, are prepared for what Dez will unleash.

The Harbinger series by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Synopsis:

Eighteen-year-old Trinity Marrow may be going blind, but she can see and communicate with ghosts and spirits. Her unique gift is part of a secret so dangerous that she’s been in hiding for years in an isolated compound fiercely guarded by Wardens—gargoyle shape-shifters who protect humankind from demons. If the demons discover the truth about Trinity, they’ll devour her, flesh and bone, to enhance their own powers. When Wardens from another clan arrive with disturbing reports that something out there is killing both demons and Wardens, Trinity’s safe world implodes. Not the least because one of the outsiders is the most annoying and fascinating person she’s ever met. Zayne has secrets of his own that will upend her world yet again—but working together becomes imperative once demons breach the compound and Trinity’s secret comes to light. To save her family and maybe the world, she’ll have to put her trust in Zayne. But all bets are off as a supernatural war is unleashed…

Gargoyle shapeshifters? YES! COUNT ME IN! I loved the animated show Gargoyles. *smiles fondly of childhood memories* If you know of any other gargoyle shapeshifter stories please leave them down in the comments for me to check out!!!

WITCHES & WIZARDS

Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

Synopsis:

Harry Potter's life is miserable. His parents are dead and he's stuck with his heartless relatives, who force him to live in a tiny closet under the stairs. But his fortune changes when he receives a letter that tells him the truth about himself: he's a wizard. A mysterious visitor rescues him from his relatives and takes him to his new home, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After a lifetime of bottling up his magical powers, Harry finally feels like a normal kid. But even within the Wizarding community, he is special. He is the boy who lived: the only person to have ever survived a killing curse inflicted by the evil Lord Voldemort, who launched a brutal takeover of the Wizarding world, only to vanish after failing to kill Harry. Though Harry's first year at Hogwarts is the best of his life, not everything is perfect. There is a dangerous secret object hidden within the castle walls, and Harry believes it's his responsibility to prevent it from falling into evil hands. But doing so will bring him into contact with forces more terrifying than he ever could have imagined. Full of sympathetic characters, wildly imaginative situations, and countless exciting details, the first installment in the series assembles an unforgettable magical world and sets the stage for many high-stakes adventures to come.

What kind of monster would I be if I didn’t include the Harry Potter books!?!?!?! The PERFECT mood for Halloween, autumn, and the upcoming holidays… I love the fact that J.K. Rowling writes those holidays into the story because it adds just the right amount of extra magic into them, not to mention witches and wizards! I will always recommend these because they helped me get into reading when I was a young-in.

The Black Witch Chronicles series by Laurie Forest

Synopsis:

A new Black Witch will rise…her powers vast beyond imagining. Elloren Gardner is the granddaughter of the last prophesied Black Witch, Carnissa Gardner, who drove back the enemy forces and saved the Gardnerian people during the Realm War. But while she is the absolute spitting image of her famous grandmother, Elloren is utterly devoid of power in a society that prizes magical ability above all else. When she is granted the opportunity to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming an apothecary, Elloren joins her brothers at the prestigious Verpax University to embrace a destiny of her own, free from the shadow of her grandmother’s legacy. But she soon realizes that the university, which admits all manner of people—including the fire-wielding, winged Icarals, the sworn enemies of all Gardnerians—is a treacherous place for the granddaughter of the Black Witch. As evil looms on the horizon and the pressure to live up to her heritage builds, everything Elloren thought she knew will be challenged and torn away. Her best hope of survival may be among the most unlikely band of misfits…if only she can find the courage to trust those she’s been taught to hate and fear.

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman

Synopsis:

The Owens sisters confront the challenges of life and love in this bewitching novel from New York Times bestselling author Alice Hoffman. For more than two hundred years, the Owens women have been blamed for everything that has gone wrong in their Massachusetts town. Gillian and Sally have endured that fate as well: as children, the sisters were forever outsiders, taunted, talked about, pointed at. Their elderly aunts almost seemed to encourage the whispers of witchery, with their musty house and their exotic concoctions and their crowd of black cats. But all Gillian and Sally wanted was to escape. One will do so by marrying, the other by running away. But the bonds they share will bring them back—almost as if by magic...

I’ve never read the book, but the movie is my absolute favorite to watch for Halloween (besides the obvious and popular Hocus Pocus). If you’re in the mood for some good old fashioned witchy fun go buy or loan it out from your local library!

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

Synopsis:

Welcome to the cursed town of Sparrow… Where, two centuries ago, three sisters were sentenced to death for witchery. Stones were tied to their ankles and they were drowned in the deep waters surrounding the town. Now, for a brief time each summer, the sisters return, stealing the bodies of three weak-hearted girls so that they may seek their revenge, luring boys into the harbor and pulling them under. Like many locals, seventeen-year-old Penny Talbot has accepted the fate of the town. But this year, on the eve of the sisters’ return, a boy named Bo Carter arrives; unaware of the danger he has just stumbled into. Mistrust and lies spread quickly through the salty, rain-soaked streets. The townspeople turn against one another. Penny and Bo suspect each other of hiding secrets. And death comes swiftly to those who cannot resist the call of the sisters. But only Penny sees what others cannot. And she will be forced to choose: save Bo, or save herself.

Sweep series by Cate Tiernan

Synopsis:

Includes: Book 1 - Book of Shadows Book 2 - The Coven Book 3 - Blood Witch The first three Sweep books bound into one gorgeous edition at a fabulous price! Morgan Rowlands never thought she was anything other than a typical sixteen-year-old girl. But when she meets Cal, a captivatingly handsome coven leader, she makes a discover that turns her whole world upside down: she is a witch, descended from an ancient and powerful line. And so is Cal. Their connection is immediate and unbreakable; Cal teases out Morgan's power, her love, her magick. But Morgan discovers too soon that her powers are strong-- almost too powerful to control. And she begins to suspect that Cal may be keeping secrets from her . . . secrets that could destroy them both.

I NEED TO GET MY HANDS ON VOLUME TWO! I really enjoyed volume 1 because it took me back to my high school days and plus it enlightened me on the practice of Wicca. Some people tend to be turned off by the teenage drama, but that’s kind of a given when it comes to most high school related books. If you can get past that I think it has a lot of information on Wiccan spirituality if you’re interested in learning more or to dip your toes in.

Wicked series by Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguie

Synopsis:

Complete text of Witch and Curse in a single volume. Holly Cathers's world shatters when her parents are killed in a terrible accident. Wrenched from her home in San Francisco, she is sent to Seattle to live with her relatives, Aunt Marie-Claire and her twin cousins, Amanda and Nicole. In her new home, Holly's sorrow and grief soon give way to bewilderment at the strange incidents going on around her. Such as how any wish she whispers to her cat seems to come true. Or the way a friend is injured after a freak attack from a vicious falcon. And there's the undeniable, magnetic attraction to a boy Holly barely knows. Holly, Amanda, and Nicole are about to be launced into a dark legacy of witches, secrets, and alliances, where ancient magics yield dangerous results. The girls will assume their roles in an intergenerational feud beyond their wildest imaginations...and in doing so, will attempt to fulfill their shared destiny.

It’s been so long since I’ve read this series, but watch out! I feel like these books were a lot darker and heavier than your average YA witch book.

ZOMBIES

Dread Nation series by Justina Ireland

Synopsis:

Jane McKeene was born two days before the dead began to walk the battlefields of Gettysburg and Chancellorsville—derailing the War Between the States and changing America forever. In this new nation, safety for all depends on the work of a few, and laws like the Native and Negro Reeducation Act require certain children attend combat schools to learn to put down the dead. But there are also opportunities—and Jane is studying to become an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. It’s a chance for a better life for Negro girls like Jane. After all, not even being the daughter of a wealthy white Southern woman could save her from society’s expectations. But that’s not a life Jane wants. Almost finished with her education at Miss Preston’s School of Combat in Baltimore, Jane is set on returning to her Kentucky home and doesn’t pay much mind to the politics of the eastern cities, with their talk of returning America to the glory of its days before the dead rose. But when families around Baltimore County begin to go missing, Jane is caught in the middle of a conspiracy, one that finds her in a desperate fight for her life against some powerful enemies. And the restless dead, it would seem, are the least of her problems.

Zombies and the historical reimagining of the Civil War. What more could you want? Also, why haven’t I read this one yet!?! I completely forgot about this being on my TBR and then remembered when making this list. *makes a mental note*

Rot & Ruin series by Jonathan Maberry

Synopsis:

In the zombie-infested, post-apocalyptic America where Benny Imura lives, every teenager must find a job by the time they turn fifteen or get their rations cut in half. Benny doesn't want to apprentice as a zombie hunter with his boring older brother Tom, but he has no choice. He expects a tedious job whacking zoms for cash, but what he gets is a vocation that will teach him what it means to be human.

Something Strange and Deadly series by Susan Dennard

Synopsis:

There's something strange and deadly loose in Philadelphia. . . . Eleanor Fitt has a lot to worry about. Her brother has gone missing, her family has fallen on hard times, and her mother is determined to marry her off to any rich young man who walks by. But this is nothing compared to what she's just read in the newspaper: The Dead are rising in Philadelphia. And then, in a frightening attack, a zombie delivers a letter to Eleanor . . . from her brother. Whoever is controlling the Dead army has taken her brother as well. If Eleanor is going to find him, she'll have to venture into the lab of the notorious Spirit-Hunters, who protect the city from supernatural forces. But as Eleanor spends more time with the Spirit-Hunters, including the maddeningly stubborn yet handsome Daniel, the situation becomes dire. And now, not only is her reputation on the line, but her very life may hang in the balance.

I just…UGH, this series hit me in the FEELS! OKAY!?! These books had me coming back for more and I found myself devastated when I finished the trilogy. T_T But please read them! This story deserves to be heard!

The Forest of Hands and Teeth series by Carrie Ryan

Synopsis:

In Mary's world there are simple truths. The Sisterhood always knows best. The Guardians will protect and serve. The Unconsecrated will never relent. And you must always mind the fence that surrounds the village; the fence that protects the village from the Forest of Hands and Teeth. But, slowly, Mary’s truths are failing her. She’s learning things she never wanted to know about the Sisterhood and its secrets, and the Guardians and their power, and about the Unconsecrated and their relentlessness. When the fence is breached and her world is thrown into chaos, she must choose between her village and her future—between the one she loves and the one who loves her. And she must face the truth about the Forest of Hands and Teeth. Could there be life outside a world surrounded by so much death?

The Hollows series by Amanda Hocking

Synopsis:

This is the way the world ends - not with a bang or a whimper, but with zombies breaking down the back door. Nineteen-year-old Remy King is on a mission to get across the wasteland left of America, and nothing will stand in her way - not violent marauders, a spoiled rock star, or an army of flesh-eating zombies.

Warm Bodies series by Isaac Marion

Synopsis:

Now a major motion picture from Summit Entertainment. R is having a no-life crisis—he is a zombie. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he is a little different from his fellow Dead. He may occasionally eat people, but he’d rather be riding abandoned airport escalators, listening to Sinatra in the cozy 747 he calls home, or collecting souvenirs from the ruins of civilization. And then he meets a girl. First as his captive, then his reluctant guest, Julie is a blast of living color in R’s gray landscape, and something inside him begins to bloom. He doesn't want to eat this girl—although she looks delicious—he wants to protect her. But their unlikely bond will cause ripples they can’t imagine, and their hopeless world won’t change without a fight.

A unique twist on the usual zombies take over the world trope. This is the story of a zombie who falls in love with a human. Can they make the relationship work?

DEMONS

Lady Helen series by Alison Goodman

Synopsis:

From the New York Times bestselling author of Eon and Eona; a Regency adventure series starring a stylish and intrepid Buffy-esque demon-hunter London, April 1812. On the eve of eighteen-year-old Lady Helen Wrexhall's presentation to the queen, one of her family's housemaids disappears-and Helen is drawn into the shadows of Regency London. There, she meets Lord Carlston, one of the few who can stop the perpetrators: a cabal of demons infiltrating every level of society. Dare she ask for his help, when his reputation is almost as black as his lingering eyes? And will her intelligence and headstrong curiosity wind up leading them into a death trap?

OMG. THIS IS THE BOOK SERIES I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED IN MY LIFE. I’ve always loved the rebellious girl in historical fiction trope and tbh this upped the goodness on so many levels. It kinda gives me Pride and Prejudice vibes, but with demons and demon hunting!

The Hearts We Sold by Emily Lloyd

Synopsis:

When Dee Moreno makes a deal with a demon—her heart in exchange for an escape from a disastrous home life—she finds the trade may have been more than she bargained for. And becoming “heartless” is only the beginning. What lies ahead is a nightmare far bigger, far more monstrous than anything she could have ever imagined. With reality turned on its head, Dee has only a group of other deal-making teens to keep her grounded, including the charming but secretive James Lancer. And as something grows between them amid an otherworldy ordeal, Dee begins to wonder: Can she give someone her heart when it’s no longer hers to give?

Another trope I love are bargains! How will the trade made between her and the demon backfire?

The Epic Crush of Genie Lo series by F.C. Yee

Synopsis:

Genie Lo is one among droves of Ivy-hopeful overachievers in her sleepy Bay Area suburb. You know, the type who wins. When she’s not crushing it at volleyball or hitting the books, Genie is typically working on how to crack the elusive Harvard entry code. But when her hometown comes under siege from hellspawn straight out of Chinese folklore, her priorities are dramatically rearranged. Enter Quentin Sun, a mysterious new kid in class who becomes Genie’s self-appointed guide to battling demons. While Genie knows Quentin only as an attractive transfer student with an oddly formal command of the English language, in another reality he is Sun Wukong, the mythological Monkey King incarnate—right down to the furry tale and penchant for peaches. Suddenly, acing the SATs is the least of Genie’s worries. The fates of her friends, family, and the entire Bay Area all depend on her summoning an inner power that Quentin assures her is strong enough to level the very gates of Heaven. But every second Genie spends tapping into the secret of her true nature is a second in which the lives of her loved ones hang in the balance.

The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare

Synopsis:

When fifteen-year-old Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder― much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Then the body disappears into thin air. It's hard to call the police when the murderers are invisible to everyone else and when there is nothing―not even a smear of blood―to show that a boy has died. Or was he a boy? This is Clary's first meeting with the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons. It's also her first encounter with Jace, a Shadowhunter who looks a little like an angel and acts a lot like a jerk. Within twenty-four hours Clary is pulled into Jace's world with a vengeance when her mother disappears and Clary herself is attacked by a demon. But why would demons be interested in ordinary mundanes like Clary and her mother? And how did Clary suddenly get the Sight? The Shadowhunters would like to know...

It’s nice to read this series since you can actually watch it as a movie or the TV series. I’ve heard pros and cons to the movie/TV adaptations, but I’ve heard so many great things about the books. I only ever read the first book and never got around to reading the rest. My sister and her husband enjoyed the heck out of them so much that he proposed to her by putting the ring in the book. *SQUEEE*

Daughter of Smoke and Bone series by Laini Taylor

Synopsis:

Around the world, black hand prints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky. In a dark and dusty shop, a devil’s supply of human teeth grows dangerously low. And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherworldly war. Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real, she’s prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands", she speaks many languages - not all of them human - and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she’s about to find out. When beautiful, haunted Akiva fixes fiery eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?

Another book I’ve heard a lot of hype around and have yet to read. I REALLY NEED TO GET AROUND TO READING THESE because they sound like they’re right up my alley!

Kingdom on Fire series by Jessica Cluess

Synopsis:

I am Henrietta Howel. The first female sorcerer. The prophesied one. Or am I? Henrietta Howel can burst into flames. When she is brought to London to train with Her Majesty's sorcerers, she meets her fellow sorcerer trainees, young men eager to test her powers and her heart. One will challenge her. One will fight for her. One will betray her. As Henrietta discovers the secrets hiding behind the glamour of sorcerer life, she begins to doubt that she's the true prophesied one. With battle looming, how much will she risk to save the city--and the one she loves?

DARK FAE

The Hazel Wood series by Melissa Albert

Synopsis:

Seventeen-year-old Alice and her mother have spent most of Alice’s life on the road, always a step ahead of the uncanny bad luck biting at their heels. But when Alice’s grandmother, the reclusive author of a cult-classic book of pitch-dark fairy tales, dies alone on her estate, the Hazel Wood, Alice learns how bad her luck can really get: her mother is stolen away―by a figure who claims to come from the Hinterland, the cruel supernatural world where her grandmother's stories are set. Alice's only lead is the message her mother left behind: “Stay away from the Hazel Wood.” Alice has long steered clear of her grandmother’s cultish fans. But now she has no choice but to ally with classmate Ellery Finch, a Hinterland superfan who may have his own reasons for wanting to help her. To retrieve her mother, Alice must venture first to the Hazel Wood, then into the world where her grandmother's tales began―and where she might find out how her own story went so wrong.

I read an e-galley of this before it had published and all I could think was this was creepy and different from the typical fae story. It wasn’t just about a manipulative fae race, the woods moved and shifted and left you disoriented which explains why most don’t come back at all…

Song of the Dryad by Natalia Leigh

Synopsis:

Seventeen-year-old Charlotte Barclay is still haunted by an encounter she had eight years ago – a run-in with a fairy beast that had eyes like witchlight and a taste for flesh. Charlotte has avoided the Greenwood ever since, pretending fairies don’t exist and choosing instead to focus her energies on graduating from high school and perfecting her audition piece for the Bellini Institute. However, everything changes when her mom goes missing, kidnapped by the fairies that haunt the forest behind Charlotte’s home. When Charlotte’s search for her mom leads her into the fairy realm, she discovers that she hails from a line of Shrine Keepers – humans tasked with maintaining ancient fairy shrines. Charlotte’s family has failed their duties to the fae, and now she has no choice but to strike a deal with the dryad, an ancient and powerful tree nymph responsible for her mom’s disappearance. But the dryad only gives her a month to complete her task: retrieve five stolen fairy stones and return them to the ancient fairy shrine. If she doesn’t return the stones in time, the dryad has threatened to imprison another of Charlotte’s loved ones. Charlotte dives into a world as magical as it is deadly, coming face-to-face with fairy creatures that never get mentioned in the story books – including the creature that haunts her dreams. She must embrace her task and conquer her fears, or else she’ll never see her mom again.

This newer fae novel has a rating of 4+ on Goodreads and is a great edition to your urban fantasy collection if you’re trying to read more Indie books.

House of Furies by Madeleine Roux

Synopsis:

After escaping a harsh school where punishment was the lesson of the day, seventeen-year-old Louisa Ditton is thrilled to find employment as a maid at a boarding house. But soon after her arrival at Coldthistle House, Louisa begins to realize that the house’s mysterious owner, Mr. Morningside, is providing much more than lodging for his guests. Far from a place of rest, the house is a place of judgment, and Mr. Morningside and his unusual staff are meant to execute their own justice on those who are past being saved. Louisa begins to fear for a young man named Lee who is not like the other guests. He is charismatic and kind, and Louisa knows that it may be up to her to save him from an untimely judgment. But in this house of distortions and lies, how can Louisa be sure whom to trust?

For some odd reason I didn’t see a lot of hype around these series and then all of a sudden I started to hear about it a little more online. When I first came across it on Goodreads what intrigued me most was the idea of this Mr. Morningside taking it upon himself to deliver justice to evil and sinful guests. And I had been on the fence a little while whether to read it or not until I finally learned from someone in the reviews that had mentioned fae being in it. Pretty much anything fae you can count me in to reading it. I can never get enough! Thanks to Wunderkind PR who provided the trilogy to me to read and talk about it with you all I am grateful to have added it to my personal fae collection! It definitely had a different twist to the usual fae stories I’ve read in the past, being as it is a historical fiction and a mystery with a touch of horror. I recommend this to anyone else who has a similar taste for fae reads and is in the mood for a series that brings something new to the genre!

Never-Contented Things by Sarah Porter

Synopsis:

Seductive. Cruel. Bored. Be wary of… Prince and his fairy courtiers are staggeringly beautiful, unrelentingly cruel, and exhausted by the tedium of the centuries ― until they meet foster-siblings Josh and Ksenia. Drawn in by their vivid emotions, undying love for each other, and passion for life, Prince will stop at nothing to possess them. First seduced and then entrapped by the fairies, Josh and Ksenia learn that the fairies' otherworldly gifts come at a terrible price ― and they must risk everything in order to reclaim their freedom.

Another great sounding edition to add to your faerie TBR list! *makes another reminder that I need to read this one still* Based on the cover I can assume this is another horror fae mix.

The Falconer series by Elizabeth May

Synopsis:

One girl's nightmare is this girl's faery tale She's a stunner. Edinburgh, 1844. Eighteen-year-old Lady Aileana Kameron, the only daughter of the Marquess of Douglas, has everything a girl could dream of: brains, charm, wealth, a title—and drop-dead beauty. She's a liar. But Aileana only looks the part of an aristocratic young lady. she's leading a double life: She has a rare ability to sense the sìthíchean—the faery race obsessed with slaughtering humans—and, with the aid of a mysterious mentor, has spent the year since her mother died learning how to kill them. She's a murderer. Now Aileana is dedicated to slaying the fae before they take innocent lives. With her knack for inventing ingenious tools and weapons—from flying machines to detonators to lightning pistols—ruthless Aileana has one goal: Destroy the faery who destroyed her mother. She's a Falconer. The last in a line of female warriors born with a gift for hunting and killing the fae, Aileana is the sole hope of preventing a powerful faery population from massacring all of humanity. Suddenly, her quest is a lot more complicated. She still longs to avenge her mother's murder—but she'll have to save the world first. The first volume of a trilogy from an exciting new voice in young adult fantasy, this electrifying thriller combines romance and action, steampunk technology and Scottish lore in a deliciously addictive read.

This was the first fae book I ever picked up that was mixed in with historical fiction and tbh it has made me spoiled! Now I feel the lack of historical fae genre and Elizabeth May is to blame. Not only is this a historical fiction, but it has some steampunk flair to add to the fae mix.

Modern Faerie Tales series by Holly Black

Synopsis:

Welcome to the realm of very scary faeries! Sixteen-year-old Kaye is a modern nomad. Fierce and independent, she travels from city to city with her mother's rock band until an ominous attack forces Kaye back to her childhood home. There, amid the industrial, blue-collar New Jersey backdrop, Kaye soon finds herself an unwilling pawn in an ancient power struggle between two rival faerie kingdoms - a struggle that could very well mean her death.

If I remember correctly this was one of the first fae stories I ever picked up and I fell in love with them instantly! Holly Black is known as the “Faerie Queen” and for good reason. She’s able to weave beautifully poetic words and surreal worlds it’s as if you’re living and breathing them. I hope you pick these up if you’ve never read them and if you have, maybe it’s time for a reread!

I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I did putting it together! Are there any books you think you’ll pick up soon? Let me know in the comments of any good ones I missed! :)

Until next time!

xoxo Whimsies of a Nerd Girl

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[bobateafanclub]

Blog #1: Nicholas Than

Hey! My name is Nicholas Than, but you can just call me Nick! I’m a fourth year business marketing major. I’m half Filipino & half Vietnamese.  I just recently transferred to SFSU this semester. Previously, I attended Notre Dame de Namur in Belmont, CA and more recently attended City College of San Francisco. I was born and raised in San Francisco. I’ve lived in SF my whole life and I love the city! Some of my favorite things about the city is the food, the laid back culture, the convenience of getting place to place, and most of our sports teams are good.

Some of things that I am interested in or enjoy is photography, cars, basketball, music, and streetwear. 

I’ve been taking pictures since junior year of high school, but never took it seriously. I took a photography class while attending CCSF and that really got me interested in taking pictures more often. This class taught me the principles of photography and how to edit with lightroom and photoshop. Currently, I take pictures for fun with my friends, nothing serious. 

My interest for cars kinda started when I was in 8th grade watching Fast & Furious. My Dad also works on his car and that got me interested as well. Currently I drive a BMW 330i and her name is Tanya! I’ve had this car for about a year and a half. My Dad and I have done most of the work on my car. I feel like working on my car with my dad is how I bond with him the most. I watch a lot of car YouTubers and enjoy seeing different cars and different builds. 

I also enjoy playing and watching sports. In high school I played football, basketball, volleyball, and track. But since high school, I really only play basketball. My favorite team is the warriors, but I’m not a bandwagon LOL. I’ve been watching and going to games since I was a kid. I was fan even when we sucked. I was a fan when Monta was still ball hogging and Matt Barnes didn’t have as many tattoos lol. 

One of the things that I enjoy the most is music. I enjoy finding new music, listening to it, or even going to concerts or festivals. I like to think I am really open minded to music. I will literally listen to any genre. But, most of the music I listen to is rap and EDM. I’ve listened to rap music my whole life. Since I have two older brothers (One 25 and the other 29), they influenced my music choice heavily. My brothers mostly listened to rap when I was younger, so that’s what I would usually hear. My all time favorite rapper/producer is Kanye. More recently, I have been listening to a lot more EDM. I’ve been listening to EDM since 8th grade. I first started with the most popular producers at the time which were Skrillex, Avicii, and Deadmau5. But since high school, I’ve been listening to it a lot more. For the past couple of years I have been going to a lot of festivals and it has really made me become interested in EDM. At one point my friends and I all bought mixers and tried to DJ and make our own mixes and upload them to soundcloud lol. Currently my favorite artists are Illenium, Porter, K?D, and Kayzo. 

Lastly, I am really into streetwear and buying clothes LOL. I like to think of my style as Cozy and Hyped. I usually try to dress comfortable and laid back, but with “hyped” brands. I started collecting shoes when I was in 6th grade. I used to always want the new Jordans coming out, mostly because my brothers had them. In high school I would also resell shoes because I worked at a foot locker. I would get the latest Jordan on discount, then resell it for double the price LOL. Nowadays, I don’t really care for a lot of the shoe trends. I usually buy what I like and I know I’ll wear a lot. Usually you’ll just see me in sweats and a sweater because I’m usually just too lazy to think about my outfits or have any sort of inspiration LOL. But I do enjoy watching streetwear YouTubers and keeping updated on trends and culture. 

I am an introvert for the most part, but sometimes I try to force myself out of my comfort zone and try socialize with people. I am definitely a shy person when I’m around people I don’t know, but when I’m with my friends I can be super outgoing. Naturally, I try to make people laugh as much as I can. I don’t usually plan things out very well and I do things randomly. I also am very determined when I am set up with a task. For example, the other day I went to 2 different Walmart’s and 4 Targets in the span of 2 hours just to look for Reese’s Puffs with Travis Scott on the front of the cereal box (It was limited edition lol). College and work has taught me good socializing skills and not to be afraid to talk to new people. I currently work at Lululemon in downtown SF and have been with them for almost a year. I’m not too sure what career I want to do, but I would love to work in social media for a sports company or clothing brand. I am super interested in how social media can influence consumers, especially with all the technology we have today. I think some things that I can improve on are procrastinating, going out of my comfort zone, beating bad habits, and setting & completing goals. 

I look forward to this class and I’m enjoying the community already!

IG: @nickthvn

[trecotrash]

RTX Full Recap

I finally got around to writing it since I’m working on my RTX polaroid album. (Also, this is fucking long, so beware). 

Day 0 (aka pre RTX)

So my flight was delayed by an hour so I didn’t get to Austin until midnight. My cousin picked me up, and I met my niece that I really didn’t know I had (like, she’s 7 years old and I’m just like cool). We got doughnuts and tried to figure out which Hilton I was supposed to stay at. When I got to the Hilton, I grabbed my key and pretty much went to sleep. 

I woke up early that morning because of my brother. (He sorta kicked me out of the room and forced me to get breakfast because he had to get ready). I grabbed my starbucks and went back to my room and got ready. I hung out in my room for an hour or so before deciding on taking a walk. I also called my mother because I didn’t feel like texting her. While I was on the phone with her, I saw Jack walking into the convention center. I didn’t say anything though because I was on the phone with my mother (and he was carrying things). Anyways, so after my walk I went back into the Hilton. I stayed in there for like an hour doing nothing (I pretty much did a henna tattoo on my leg) I went back downstairs. After realizing that I really didn’t feel like walking again, I asked these two guys if I could hang out with them.

They were cool and we pretty much played Sushi Go for a bit. I went with them to their airbnb and played Mario Kart with one of them while the other went to the other room to lie down. 

We played for about an hour until we walked to the Marriott for our badges. I also saw one of my internet friends there and it was like “OMG, I can actually physically hug you!” 

After waiting I think roughly an hour or so for my badge, I met up with the two guys from earlier and walked with them back to their place. While one of the guys went out, the other one and I went back to playing Mario Kart. 

After an hour or so of that (and other things, but let’s not get into my personal life right now), I left because they had friends they were meeting up with. I ended up waiting with Destiny aka @switchtodecaf (aka @takeyourfic) at ACC for her badge. I waited with her for a little bit before my friend finally messaged me back saying he was awake. I went back to the Marriott to pick up my cosplay things from my friend. Before I went up, I saw Mariel and Bethany. I got my polaroid pictures with them before heading up to my friends room. 

I grabbed my things for my Felix cosplay, went back to my hotel to drop everything off, then got dinner. Once I finished, I randomly saw RJ aka @rojahal (aka @roosterteethrambles) walking to the charity gala. She is such an amazing human being and we joked that I was her mom dropping her off at a dance because I walked with her to the gala. 

Then I went back to my hotel room with nothing to do. Luckily Mandy aka @adamantium-ellis invited me to their game night (which Em aka @chefgeofframsay and Destiny were at). I brought the card games I had with me (werewolves, love letter, and sushi go) and walked to their hotel. 

We spent a few hours (I think) playing games before I decided to call it a night and leave. Mandy, Em, and Sebastian (really hope I got his name right) walked me back to my hotel.  

Day 1

So I woke up at 6 AM to my getting ready, and knowing I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, I walked to Voodoo doughnuts. I got $30 worth of doughnuts and gave a box of them to my brother for him and Jackie (Lead PA Guardian...I’m pretty sure). The other box I let some friends have. 

I ended up waking an hour nap before I got ready for the day. I somehow accidentally ended up at the Funhaus panel and was like “Okay, this is a thing I’m going to now.”

I met this really cool chick named Alex, and she had the same plan as me (which was leave early for the Cow Chop panel). After half an hour of watching Funhaus host a meme showdown, we left to go Cow Chop. We played love letter while waiting in line. We also got decent seats for the panel which we were amazed with. 

At Cow Chop’s panel, they showed videos the whole time (which I’m pretty sure are all posted now with the exception of 1). It was really cool that I at least got to see them there. 

After their panel, Alex and I went to the convention center where it was hell trying to get in. (And due to our fucking confusion of not knowing where the fuck to go, we got in within 45 minutes instead of waiting for 4 hours, so sorry to everyone who had to wait a long ass time to get in!). Anyways, while in there, I got to meet Ray and Adam. 

I ended up slitting off from them to make sure I got to the Marriott early enough for Werewolves. There, I ended up meeting Chad and Game Attack. Like, Shaun Bolen noticed me walking up to him and said hi immediately. Also, seeing them in person made me feel so small. Like Craig and Shaun are actual giants compared to me. Anyways, I got a polaroid with Shaun and he asked me that if they took a picture with me if they could keep one. I said yes and ran to grab more film because I knew that I was low. So I left my sharpie with him because he needed to sign my polaroid. When I ran back, I took my polaroid with Craig and he signed my polaroid. Luckily, someone from the community offered to take my polaroid with the two. So that first one went to them. While I was changing the film, Craig asked if I had to do that every time and Shaun explained to him how a polaroid camera worked. Also, they were talking to Chad who was sorta across the area we were standing at. They were asking who he was on the phone with and he said something about all of his kids (this spurred this whole thing of Bolen saying that when referring to his kids it should be “both of them” and not “all of them” because he only has two kids)

Anyways, I was ready and got the second polaroid with Game Attack to keep for myself. Now I don’t quite remember if this happened before or after the second polaroid, but they asked me to sign their polaroid and I was just awestruck. I said yes and they gave me a sharpie to use to sign it. After that, there was another girl who walked up, but I realized that Shaun had my sharpie. I stood there for a minute and told him that. He ended up giving me his sharpie instead of mine but in my mind I was like “Okay, that’s fine.” (I only knew it was his sharpie because mine had the precision tip on the other end). 

I got back to the line still on a high of meeting them because I didn’t expect to meet them. While waiting in line, there was a Mario Kart tournament going on and luckily, someone let me play with them on their switch. It was so much fun interacting with people from the community.

Once I was in the ballroom for the panel, there were tables and everyone was just confused (later on we found out it was because people were lazy to move them). So the panel went on and it was just really cool to see them up close. It was like, damn I’m really here.

Anyways, before the panel started, I finally met Emily aka @rooster-geek and ended up going with her and her group to dinner at P.F. Changs. 

So, while we were in the elevator at the Marriott, and Barbara was in the elevator with us. I did not notice her at first until someone said “Hi Barbara.” So after trying not to freak out, we got out of the elevator and took pictures with Barbara. (Sidenote, majority of the pictures I got were pretty much polaroids). After Barbara, I spotted Arryn Zech, so I walked up to her and got a picture with her. She also said that my name was really pretty. 

Then after dinner, I ended up going to Ihop to meet up with RJ, Mandy, Destiny, and the rest of that group to eat more. We then went back to their hotel and played more games.

Day 2

So day 2 I spent the beginning of it on the exhibit floor. I put on my genderbent Felix cosplay and was amazed when someone asked me to take a picture with them. I saw Meg at her booth, but that line was capped, and soon enough, Jon was at the Maltesers booth. 

When I got up to him for a polaroid, he mistook me for Locus at first then corrected himself and was like “Nope, you’re Felix. Felix is orange and Locus is green. I watch our content.” So after I got my picture with him, I hauled ass to the Hilton and made it to the Writer’s Block panel line. Thankfully, people didn’t care and let me sit with the RTRI group. We ended up playing Red Flags RT edition as we waited. 

After the panel, I met Lynn and felt bad because I knew they were in a hurry and knew I couldn’t get my polaroid out in time. I took a selfie with him on my phone. While some people went to the Over the Rainbow panel, I walked to floor with Em were we met up with Emily for a little bit. On our way to the exhibit floor, Em and I ran into Stan. I got a polaroid of me and him and just one of him to give to my sister. (He was cool with it and was like “Does your sister like Jimmy Johns? I’m going to pose with this Jimmy Johns bag.”). I left Em for a little bit to see how bad the line was for the AH escape room (it was a three hour wait so I decided not to do it), and on my way I met Trevor Collins! He is so sweet, and his girlfriend, Emily, has the prettiest blue eyes and is so sweet. I ran back down to Em who was waiting in front of Griffin’s booth and she mentioned how Cole was at the Mega 64 booth and didn’t want to interrupt. 

So I pretty much interrupted Cole’s conversation for her so we both could get pictures with Cole (and he was in cosplay that day so that was cool). After that, I changed the film and ran into Lynn again, so I got an actual polaroid with him. He signed on the actual part of the developing picture instead of the bottom of it, and he ended up replying “Well, I’m in too deep now.” and finished signing. I then ran into Aaron Marquis and told him that story after I got a picture with him, and he laughed and said, “That idiot Lynn.”

I walked around the con floor a bit more and met Wes from Smosh Games. He’s such a sweetheart and it was amazing talking to him. I then ran back to my hotel room with my friend and hung out with him while I got ready for Mario Party Saturday. 

I wore my Harley Quinn inspired outfit (which was also red to rep the People’s Champ!). As I was waiting in line, I got another polaroid with Game Attack and Chad James as well as getting a polaroid with Sam Mitchell.

I got to meet so many G1s and made more friends in line (and played a long game of Uno). I was also the shortest on in that group, so that was fun. Mario Party Saturday was so fucking amazing though, and that felt like a thing better experienced rather than just telling someone about it, especially with everything that went down. (I will say that I showed my sister pictures of Shaun from that night and she said that he looked like the Chippendales version of Mario). 

After watching them play Mario Party, I went out and met up with a friend. Instead of going to the rave, he was like “You need to eat” and I was like “You right.” So we went to Ihop. (This was also someone I was starting to like because of the conversations I’ve had with him, but he’s going into the navy in like 5 days, so...). 

Anyways, he showed me some drawings and I let him read something I wrote for my creative writing class. It was nice to have someone genuinely like something you wrote. After everything, he paid for dinner and I took him to this really pretty place outside of the convention center. He took some model like polaroids of me, and I used my last piece of film for the day on him. (Thinking about it now, I should have kept it, but I let him take it.)

He walked me back to the hotel, and he hung out for a little bit. He left before my brother came back though.

Day 3

So I ended up finding one of the G1s on twitter (his name is Rusty), and pretty much hung out with him that day. So we walked the convention floor, attempted to get Voodoo doughnuts (the line was too long and I had my Trevor and Matt signing in an hour and a half or so). I ran into Wes from Smosh Games again coming back from Voodoo doughnuts. Rusty and I ended up going to the Starbucks in the Hilton where I ran into Adam Ellis. I was like “shit, I still need to get him to sign my polaroid” and Rusty pretty much stopped Adam to get him to sign it. Then, we were waiting in line and I was like “Oh shit, I should probably head to my signing so I’m not dead last,” and Rusty said, “I’ll just bring your Starbucks to you.”

So, I hauled ass to get to my signing, but stopped as soon as I saw Samantha Ireland. Me and this one guy both had polaroids and Samantha asked both of us if she could keep one. We both said yes and she had us sign on it (or well put our social media on it). This guy was from Singapore and I was like “That’s really cool.” and we talked while I walked to my signing. I got into the room for my signing before Rusty could bring me my Starbucks. Luckily, he was allowed to give my Starbucks to a guardian who gave it to me. 

In line, I ended up dropping my polaroid (and I didn’t find out until later but I put the batteries in the wrong way.) I was talking to this guy named Devon and he was cool. Anyways, I got to the signing with Trevor and Matt, and when I got up to them, I gave Trevor the polaroid I took with him the day before and told Matt I have to take a polaroid with him. While attempting to take the polaroid, Matt said he liked my cape and put the hood on me. 

After a minute of trying to take the polaroid, I deemed it broken and asked Matt if he wanted to just sign the actual camera instead. He said that he didn’t want to ruin it. This then turned it into Matt trying to fix it. (And my favorite picture came out of it.)

Anyways, they fixed the camera and I got my polaroid with Matt. 

After that, I don’t remember what I went to my hotel room for, but I left. On my way there, I ran into Larry (who my sister likes to refer to as the MVP) and took a polaroid with him. I went and dropped off something at my hotel room and went back to the convention center. While I walked into the convention center, I saw Caleb and Jordan and asked them if I could take a picture. (Caleb called Jordan an idiot for not knowing how to use the polaroid camera). Immediately after them, I saw Matt Peake, and took a picture with him too. 

I was about to head to the exhibit floor, but Rusty just got out of his panel. I waited for him and we ended up getting food. While on our way to the Game Attack line, I saw James (aka theodd1sout). I was like “I’ll meet you there, I gotta take a picture with him first. So I waited in line and got to meet James. I took a polaroid with him, and asked him if he could say hi to my little sister (she freaked out when she saw the video). 

After that, I was headed to the Game Attack panel when I ran into Gray. I got a polaroid with him and started smiling really widely because animation!

So then in line for Game Attack, I pretty much played Mario Kart with people until it was time to get seated. I was close by the front. 

The panel was amazing because they honestly didn’t expect that many people to come for them. (They were like “Our plan was to take you guys all down to the arcade because we expected like 25 to come to this panel.”) It was pretty much just Q&A at one point with random conversation (I think that’s the best way to describe it). Also, Sam came onto the panel at one point. 

After the panel, I saw Shaun first, so I got my third polaroid with him. I also gave him memes my sister wanted me to give them (and ended up giving them the folder I took them in...I don’t know why but I did). Sam walked up to see what it was, and I got them both to sign the copies of them for my sister. I then got my second polaroid with Sam before heading over to Craig. I got my third polaroid with Craig and got him to sign the memes for my sister. (He wrote Craig plays for Craig on both of them). Anyways, while my friend was talking with him about events they’re planning on doing, Craig stopped the conversation just to take a picture of my Game Attack henna tattoo. That was pretty cool.

The guardians soon kicked us out and I made my way back to the hotel. I spent a good few hours debating whether or not I was going to get a tattoo (the cost is what got me not to get one), and by the time I decided I needed to eat, I ran into my friend Cain (who was staying the night with me) and he came with me to get Voodoo doughnuts. 

Overall, I had so much fun and got to meet so many people even though I really didn’t have a set group of people to hang out with. I also feel like I left some things out, so this might be edited later.

[oldsoulblog-blog]

Mental Health

I feel often times people describe love and finding the one they love as finally living a full life

They describe the life they were living before that person was incomplete and they weren’t the full person they were meant to be until they were with their love

And “thanks” to social media and the way the world had evolved

Also thanks to fantasy stories and the unnecessarily romanticized versions of love

I have found myself many days feeling empty and almost as if I am living only as part of my being.

I have also found myself questioning my sanity, on a daily basis

Please, any professionals who believe they can help me, come forward!

I have always been one to be in love with love, have never experienced it personally but have always been obsessed with the idea of it and the versions I see in movies.

Butterflies are an understatement of what I feel when I watch movies with the “perfect guy” in it and I obsess and fantasize over the smallest romantic things guys do in the movies.

I have a slightly obsessive personality and I have always very quickly latched onto someone and have always been one to continuously fantasize about them.

Never been in a relationship, always been a little standoffish, also never really put out the vibe for anyone to reach onto. (Other personal issues I’ve always faced; for another day)

So I don’t know what it’s like to have someone care for you in that way and as I become older and see my friends in very serious relationships, I become more and more long full for the same.

But I have never been just an ordinary person, I’ve always been what you would call “extra”, I like attention (ironically), I like to have the best and selfishly, want everyone to be jealous or notice how good I am; as a result, I latch onto what you would call “unrealistic” dreams or fantasies

Also, I’ve never been one to believe in dating around and fooling around and having a bunch of boyfriends, I’d like to think it stems from my self value and how I respect myself and don’t want to deal with heartbreak because I’m “emotionally sensitive” but I call bull shit, I think I could emotionally handle it. I have to believe it stems from my own lack of self confidence, (I talk a big game, being an Aries, but inside, very not okay with myself) and I think subconsciously, I put a negative outlook on dating a lot because I’ve never been approached to date or been hit on or had guys have any more than a friend of a friend interest in me,

I have always told myself I am meant for one, maybe two people and that’s it, I’ll be happy

But who knows, it’s fucking life

Anyway, getting to my point of my mental state, I’ve been mentally and emotionally latched onto someone who I’ve never met before for a couple years now. ____ is a YouTuber who I’ve been watching for a while and YouTubers share a lot of their lives online so you feel like you really know them, and I’ve told myself I know him,… but how the FUCK could I know about even half his life?!

Anyway, so I’ve gone so far as to talking to his sister on Snapchat, trying to find him at concerts, making a playlist on Spotify of all the songs he sings and plays, going to his hometown, getting a tattoo done by the same person that does his tattoos and searching google maps for several minutes to find where he lives, and going there.

Typing this out makes me feel weird because I know that it is creepy and stalker like and I shouldn’t be doing it but I don’t feel like that, except for going to his house, that felt weird.

But I think I don’t feel like that because he makes his YouTube videos seem so personal and you do feel like you’re friends with him and you know him

But then as soon as I stop watching the videos, I get put back into reality and am reminded of what my actual life is and what I’m a part of, I live with my parents, I have siblings and grandparents and cousins and uncles and aunts and I go to college and I work and I have internships I have to apply for and I have trips I want to take and I have tattoos I want to get and I have health and dieting to worry about and I have bills I have to pay and I have this whole “normal” life that I’m living and I just don’t feel complete.

As much as people say that you don’t need anyone to complete you, I feel like I do. I feel like I need someone to show me love in ways no one else can and I need someone to tell all my exciting news to and feel as though they want to know it, I want someone to travel with and experience life with and to kiss and hug and cry to.

So many girls love ____, (in my head I think that they think they love him but really I love him, like who the fuck are you ____?!)

He has fans and friends and girls he’s hooking up with and girlfriends he’s having and will have and girls he’s flirting with at events and girls that are friends that are being 20-year-olds and kissing and lap dancing with for fun

And I die when I see all this, I die at the fact that he’s living his life without me

Okay, weird, bold, harsh and selfish statement

But it’s how I feel, I get upset at the fact that each day he feels normal and he feels like he’s where he needs to be (which he is) and who he’s supposed to be with and has no clue that I am even in existence

I hate that I’m not with him for his birthday and for his movie premieres and for his auditions and for movie nights and going out nights and New Years and Christmas with his family and the nights that he wants to get some things off his chest or even cry, and the nights when he wants some and he calls some girl to get it, I want to be there for him for everything.

I want to make him a better person by him making me a better person.

So I also want to check in on my mental health when I think about in the future finding someone who’s not him, I don’t see it that way.

As of right now, I see nothing else but him

I have always been someone who has had a vision and is CONVINCED it will be that way, but I’m not an emotionally motivated person

I think sometimes, “you’re just attracted to him, like every other girl cause he’s so good looking and funny and all that, you’ll find someone like him, it doesn’t have to be him”

But who am I kidding? I fucking want it to be him, of course. Why have a similar one when you can have the one you’re basing your choice off of?

Because it’s not reality I tell myself, but then I message his sister on Snapchat and am reminded that he’s just a person, who can be reached, you just have to be in the right place

By the way, I’ve never thought of him as a “famous” person with fans and all that shit, I mean I’m aware of it and it’s the reason I know of him, but I’ve never thought about him in that fangirl way, I’ve never followed a fan account or even went on one for that matter, I’ve never really looked at fan edits or read fanfiction or participated in anything fan related, I’ve never gone to any of their shows or meetups, I just see him as someone who is on the internet who I’d love to be friends with and hangout with

I honestly don’t know what I’m trying to say, I guess maybe I’m trying to say that I’m stuck between feeling like a mental patient because I know how fucking bad it is with how obsessed I am with him and also being like, I know it’s meant to be and it’ll happen and I wouldn’t be this into him if it wasn’t going to happen, but like you’re 21?! You’re not 14 anymore! Shouldn’t you know that these things don’t “just happen”?! I mean I guess I don’t know because I’ve never been in a relationship

But okay, so I got asked out by this guy my friend and I met at a concert, at first I kept questioning why he would ever ask me over my friend because my friend is ALWAYS the one getting hit on, but anyway so I was questioning if he even knew it was me and not her (ps he stopped texting me randomly so yeah)

Anyway, when he asked me, I initially was like “uh no” in my head (because of my personal lack of confidence and my negative outlook on dating) and then I thought, well you’ve been wanting to hangout with more guys and this is basically the first chance you’ve had to go out with a guy and you want a boyfriend so why the hell are you not jumping on it, and it’s because it wasn’t ____. He didn’t make me laugh over text, he wasn’t tall with short cut brown hair and brown eyes with a slight skater look. He just didn’t appeal to me at all and I didn’t want to give it a chance at all because I knew it wouldn’t be worth my time, I would have no interest

In my gut I wasn’t going to go through the embarrassment because it wasn’t how I fantasized it and so therefore it was just going to be awkward and unnatural, because I’m in my own fucking false reality!!!!

How I picture it playing out, and again, I question my mental health every day and think of what my family would think of me if they knew how strange and obsessed I was and that I wasn’t living my actual life in a full mindset and that I wish it wasn’t my actual reality

Anyway, so I picture us just somehow bumping into each other, me making a smooth, yet funny remark and him basically being in awe of me

I also imagine looking fly as fuck in a semi fly car, just being nonchalant and casual and not noticing him and playing some kick ass music in my car with the windows down and him pulling up next to me and again being in awe of me and having to flag me down cause he needs to talk to me

Can I again just say, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ____?!!

I’ve always had this image in my head of what I want my life to look like when I get older, how many kids I want, what I want my wedding day to be like, where I’m living

But when I think about ____, all of that goes away and I just want to be with him, just live and learn with him

And that’s a good thing! Because before, I never really thought about a husband before I thought about kids, wedding, house, etc. I just always thought of what he could give me family, material and social wise,

With ____ I just think about living life with him and not worrying about anything but the two of us and what we want

I don’t know, the mind and soul are of the most confusing parts of life and I’m starting to get really lost in mine.

[hellotvv]

Tues + Wed

So the past two days, have been pretty chill good days. I’m slowly getting lazier and lazier about making these blog posts. Since idk, I have a lot more motivation when interesting things happen haha.

So yesterday, it was a pretty simple day. Uhm, was done with Nhi cancelling and she ends up telling Hope and I, that she couldn’t make it to Disney on Wednesday. Since blah blah blah, but honestly am done with her LOL. If someone reschedules like 3x, it’s like yeah I’m done. I met up for lunch with Kristy + Christy + Jessica. It was nice seeing christy tran again, since I haven’t seen her since like idk spring break or something. But it’s always good to catch up. She was telling us that she really appreciates us, since idk good friends are hard to find. There was a lot of things we talked about like school, life, her tattoos, etc etc.. Caught up a bit with Kristy and Jessica too, so that was cool. We ate at the attic and just had a nice time. Then we were gonna watch lala land, but we got too tired/lazy and the theaters with reclining chairs didn’t have lala land for whatever reason. So we were like ehhh and lazy after eating. So we just went home haha. Then at night, since I uhh fked up and missed my cousin’s bday party, I managed to take her to eat ramen for dinner. I wanted to take her to kitakata, but it’s closed on Tuesdays. So I took her to Ikkousha which was where my friend Calvin worked. I just talked to her about college and school and stuff, since she’s a senior getting into college and yeah. She’s nervous about what school she’ll get into and what not. Hopefully she gets into a couple schools she likes :) Then I ended the day kinda sleeping late and waking up early for today (wednesday).

Today, I woke up at like 10ish and was tired. Was supposed to go to Disneyland with Hope at 11, but she’s a lagger. But it was a good thing, since I didn’t get out of bed till like 11:20ish and she randomly had to go to bank of america to deposit something for grandma or something. By the time she came over and we left, we got to disneyland by like nearly 1 LOL... Disneyland was SUPER crowded today, like holy... I guess it’s the first day annual pass holders (cheapest one) can go, so it was so crowded. You’d think a random wednesday when a lot of local HS + elementary school + certain colleges are back in school wouldn’t be so crowded. But disneyland was actually at max capacity, but we managed to get in. But there was no point, since there was no fast pass + every ride was like 80+ minutes lol... So most ppl went to california adventures. But car land the wait was like 140 minutes, i was like WTF... So we barely went on like 2 rides tbh LOL. But we met up my friend Fyona there and took pics casually, ate at Cove Bar and shared a tritip nachos and I got a pizza for myself too. I kinda wanna go to cozy cone or whatever and get this one mac n cheese on this cone that foodwithmichel got before :O but maybe next time. Didn’t hang out with Fyona too much, but yeah. It was kinda cool hanging with Hope, might be last time I see her for a while unfortunately~ We left at like 5ish, since Hope had church service at like 6 or something. Also we don’t need to go the whole day, since annual pass holders haha can just go whenever even if just a couple hours :). Honestly disneyland can be pretty draining walking around + standing for long lines + yeah. So it was fine leaving around 5ish. Got home, took a nap, edited some photos, and now back to reading chinese novels and sleeping for tomorrow. I don’t know what my plans are tomorrow, I was gonna get bfast with Helene. But she sick and pushed it back to Friday. So will figure out Friday plans as we go :O Tomorrow, will be a pretty yolo day tbh haha.

_____________________

As for emotionally. Hmhm, when I was at Disneyland, it was like... I kinda wished I was there with a bae, since idk there’s a good amount of couples there and it’s like sighhh never got to go to Disneyland with a bae before. Winter break sometimes feels like it would have been a lot more fun in some ways with a gf. Like the potential cuddling/sleepovers/adventures/Disneyland/etc... But oh well, what can I do? As for Catherine, I’ve been chilling. Haven’t really snapchatted her or anything, since trying to chill. I don’t think she would be a very good gf even tho we’re like good friends, and I think it’s best for me to like just chill and keep my distance for a while. So it’ll just be like oh fun friend to hang out with and no crushing. I definitely feel like the crush kinda went away, which is good since I’m glad like I can be happy + fine on my own, and that crushes can come and go quickly which means like idk not dependent on other ppl or falling too hard and can control my emotions + be happy on my own. So yeah, gonna keep working on myself more and more. Still trying to make the most out of this remaining break and I think this year has been off to a decent start. Nothing horrible happened, nothing sad, and honestly there’s been a lot of good things happening to me even if I’m not like super happy. I’m content and honestly it’s important to learn to be fine with being content. Since you honestly cannot be happy 100% of the time. :3 So yeah, good start, gonna try to follow through with New Years resolution, make the most out of break, and make the school year pretty gud too!