#Dutch x fem!Oc

[flw3rrr]

A broken Promise

Characters: Dutch x OC

summary: Dutch meets a girl in Saint Denis. His attempts to swoon her over in order to get any kinds of amount of money he needs for his High mighty plan to leave for Tahiti.

OC name: Audrey evermore

Warnings: manipulation, angst, Taking advantage of use of money, Age gap, (Please let me know if anything else i missed!)

A/n: second time writing a long one. This man is like tough to write for.

Words: 4,732

It was just a normal day in Saint Denis. The workers were heading to their jobs to earn money for their homes, to keep food on the table, or to pay for their families. For the rich, perhaps. They mostly went to gamble, head to the offices, or even go on the boat and play more poker. That’s what Audrey’s Father did. he would spend but somehow win enough money to still gamble it away and keep his family together and rich. For her mother…. She spent her time gossiping with her lady friends, mostly discussing clothing or the events happening in town.

Audrey kept to herself and stayed quiet, as she didn't really have any friends. She would talk to the maids or any worker she saw or spend time alone when she wasn't forced to hang out with her mother and listen to gossip. Audrey would take walks around Saint Denis, taking in the atmosphere and admiring the flowers as she walked by. All the walks were normal. She gave a kind nod to those who greeted her with a good morning or afternoon. Nobody reading made Audrey interested in them.

That was until she met him. Dutch van der Linde... A famous outlaw across the states. He was charming and seemed smart just from his looks, especially with that grin he had. Audrey was memorized by him, but they only offered small waves and glances when given such an opportunity, but he was rarely seen in Saint Denis.

That was until she was walking her newly dog down the streets her father gifted to her, she noticed Him. but he was with two other men walking to Angelo Bronte’s house. She didn’t think much as she still continued to walk down as the new dog sniffed everything in her path. Audrey thought things on why on earth he was going to Brontes house, nobody really messed with him.

As she strolled back home, she suddenly heard a voice speak to her. It was hard to describe, but it sounded charming and strong. Audrey turned around to face the man, her eyes widening as she saw it was him. He stood right in front of her, a smile upon his face.

“I can see you have a new friend to join your walks miss.” He spoke with such confidence in his words. Almost as he seemed he was always right. Audrey was temporarily speechless, unable to process the fact that he was actually speaking to her. As she noticed he was awaiting a response from her, she eventually began to speak.

“Oh, yes… My father gave him to me as a gift. I named him Argus” Dutch loved the sound of her voice - it was soft and calming, almost as if it could soothe a crying baby immediately. He knew he wanted to get to know her better, so he made a mental note to take advantage of any future opportunities to do so.

“Well, isn't that kind gesture of your father. Rich I presume?” He only asked this, of course, to see if she would be any help for him and his gang with money. possibly scam them out of anything. “Well, you could say that I just don't usually like using the word rich. wealthy mostly.” Audrey said with a small smile.

Bingo, he thought. He knew that all he had to do was get closer to her, meet her parents, and get on good terms with them, especially her father. His goal was to ultimately swindle them out of as much money as he could. “Well, I'll let you head home miss… Perhaps I can walk you?” he said kindly.

Audrey was still staring at him in awe, almost hypnotized by his spoken words. After a moment's silence, she finally replied, "That's very kind of you," and began walking back home with him by her side. They both continued to speak as they walked back to her place. Dutch was sure to be careful of his questions, or answers. He didn’t want to scare her off quickly. The sun was slowly setting making the streetlights slowly turn on to light the roads and areas for the dark.

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Over the past few days, Audrey and Dutch had started to stop on the street and having their own little talks with each other. She noticed that it was he who was mostly finding her, rather than the other way around. The chats would begin with him bringing her gifts - a small ring or a flower - which were all part of his plan to win her over and get the money he wanted from her father. Despite his motives, Audrey would always blush over his gestures, almost feeling hypnotized by him.

Though when he attended the party with Arthur and some of the other members, he found himself in a conversation with Bronte when suddenly a man in a well-fitting suit walked onto the balcony. "Ah, Mr. Evermore," Bronte spoke. Dutch was surprised, but at the same time, he was excited to be introduced to Audrey's father for the first time. He now had the opportunity to talk to him alone or convince Bronte to help him in his scheme to get money from her father. They were already discussing the subject of money, so it could be an easy sell.

"I apologize for being late, Bronte," Mr. Evermore said as he approached the balcony. "My wife was having difficulty deciding which necklace to wear, and she didn't want to leave our daughter at home alone." He nodded to Dutch, who was already standing there. "Women," Bronte said in response. Dutch was finally introduced to Audrey's father - learning that his name was William. The three continued to speak for a while, until Dutch joined Arthur to send him on a little mission.

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A week had passed since the party, and Audrey hadn't heard anything from Dutch since their last spoken moment. She wondered if he had gotten tired of her already. She took a moment to brush her hair with a hairbrush she had gotten during a trip to France. After getting dressed for the day, she decided to take her dog on a walk to enjoy the nice weather outside.

As she walked around the small park near her home, she once again heard that familiar voice say, "Well, it certainly has been a while since we last spoke." She smiled to herself and turned around to face him, and Dutch could see the happiness on her face. He loved it, knowing that his tactics were working on her.

“It has," Audrey replied eagerly with a hint of happiness in her tone. "It's been a while since we've seen each other. I hope everything is alright?" Her voice started slow and monotonous, but it picked up its pace, and now she felt as if it had never sounded better.

Dutch couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at her concern for him. He admitted to himself that he had developed some feelings for her. His plan had originally been to befriend her so that she would introduce him to her father, but he had already met him at that party.

However, no matter how much he liked her, he had to keep his focus on earning enough money to move to Tahiti. “I’m fine, Though I had a quite a head injury, Ive healed fast.” he nodded. Audrey's expression filled with shock and concern as she heard the news. She took a step closer to him, wanting to touch his face gently, but she didn't, knowing that it might be inappropriate.

"Oh, well I'm glad you've gotten better," she said with concern in her voice. “But enough talking about me.. How have you been..?” he asked plainly.

They had their regular conversation, which, to an eavesdropper, would likely have been dull and uninteresting. Dutch talked about Evelyn Miller and his books, but Audrey didn't find the subject material particularly captivating. He also mentioned meeting her father at the ball, describing how well her father had a way with words when speaking his mind or giving opinions.

Audrey, in turn, talked about how her father enjoyed gambling. Despite their lengthy conversation in the park, they failed to notice that very few people were present. The ones who were still quite far away, but enough that they couldn't be seen.

As they both sat on the bench, with Audrey's dog resting near her feet, they shared a sweet, slow moment that felt like a fairytale for Audrey. She felt as if she had just met her soulmate, and for Dutch, he didn't feel anything in particular, but he did notice how she looked at him with so much admiration in her eyes.

"So, you mentioned that your father likes to gamble so much? How does he manage to keep such money to keep his family stable?" questioned Dutch, his tone laced with curiosity. He didn't mention at all how her father along with Bronte had told him about the money stashed at the trolley station, and he didn't like that one bit.

Being played like a fool and angered him, but he shouldn't blame Audrey for she wasn't aware of what had been happening in his life lately. "Yes, he still manages to find a way to keep some money to provide for us," Audrey answered, her tone suggesting that she didn't care to discuss her father at length.

Dutch couldn't help but notice that she seemed reluctant to talk about him, even though he had given her many gifts over the years. He made a mental note to tread carefully with the subject of her father in the future.

With the conversation hitting a standoff, Dutch decided he needed to make a move to get things going again. He thought for a moment and then acted, pushing a piece of hair back into place and carefully caressing her cheek with his hand, allowing it to linger there for a beat.

Audrey was shocked by his touch, but she pushed the thought aside. His hand felt rough to the touch, but she tried not to let it bother her. Dutch looked Audrey in the eyes, taking a deep breath before asking a daring question. "Have I ever told you that you are beautiful?" he inquired, his tone a mixture of flattery and determination.

It wasn't just about winning her over anymore; now he had to convince her to give him the money that he now knew her father wouldn’t give, He needed to persuade her without coming across as if he was using her. Audrey's face instantly flushed with a bright shade of crimson, her cheeks glowing with a warm blush.

Normally, when men paid her compliments, she would shrug it off and go about her day, feeling flustered and uncomfortable. However, with Dutch giving her this compliment, she felt like she had won the world. She suddenly felt important and special, her heart skipping a beat at the thought that someone valued her beauty so highly.

Audrey's eyes darted to the side, trying to avoid direct eye contact with Dutch. She felt suddenly shy and flushed, not knowing how to respond to this sweet compliment. But then Dutch took hold of her chin, gently forcing her to face him once more. Her heart skipped a beat as she was caught off guard by this sudden and tender gesture, and she felt a surge of flutters and nerves inside her chest. The excitement and anticipation she felt was overwhelming.

“Now there’s no reason to get so nervous now?” Dutch's smirk broadened as he took in the effect his words were having on Audrey. He was proud of himself for being able to manipulate her so well and put her into the position he wanted. He was so close to achieving his goal, and the thought of it was almost enough to make him burst with pride.

He just had to keep playing his cards right and the money would be his. Audrey hesitated for a moment before responding, feeling utterly flummoxed by her own reaction to his charm. She couldn't find the right words to say, so she resorted to the quickest one that came to mind: "I realized it's getting late. My parents must be wondering where I am." She rose from the bench, holding the leash for her dog, and offered Dutch a quick goodnight before leaving. As she walked home, mind occupied by the thoughts of their encounter, she found herself daydreaming about him.

Dutch's smirk stayed firmly in place as he watched Audrey leave, feeling like he was on top of the world. He had everything he wanted and felt like he was the best in the universe. His ego was on a high, and he couldn't wait to get his hands on that money. He knew he would only need to bide his time, and soon it would be his. The power he had over her was overwhelming, and he savored it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Audrey's mind raced with thoughts of yesterday's events, and she couldn't help but giggle with excitement. She kicked her feet with joy, imagining what it would be like to kiss Dutch's lips. She found herself deep in thought, unable to focus as she relived every moment of their encounter over and over. The thought of ever being with him filled her with such excitement that she couldn't contain it, especially knowing how close he had gotten to her yesterday. She was sure that this was the start of something great, and she couldn't wait to see where it would lead

Audrey was jarred from her thoughts by a knock at her door. She leaned up to see her mother walk in, her eyes filled with concern as she took in the giddy expression on Audrey's face. "Daughter," she said, sitting on the couch beside her bed, "if I may ask, why are you so…giddy?" Audrey's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and she shifted her gaze away from her mother's piercing eyes, unsure of how to respond. She didn't want to give away her secret, but at the same time, she couldn't bear to disappoint her mother.

Audrey's gaze shifted away from her mother's intense stare, feeling embarrassed to have been caught in the middle of her giddy mood. "Oh, it's nothing, mother. I promise," she said with a smile, attempting to conceal the truth about her secret friend. She didn't want to disappoint her, so she tried her best to feign ignorance. However, her mother was far from convinced and simply looked at her with disbelief before shaking her head and leaving the room, wondering what her daughter was so giddy about.

Audrey stayed inside the house all day, left alone with only the butler who was in his office presumably working on other things. Suddenly, a loud knock on the door echoed through the house, catching Audrey by surprise. She approached the door to investigate, her curiosity piqued by the unexpected interruption. She reached for the doorknob and opened the door, unsure of what to expect on the other side. With such surprise it was him, Dutch. she blinked a couple of times before she spoke.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, confused. It's easy enough to find her house if you just ask a couple of people, but why is he here? She wondered.

“I noticed you hadn’t taken your daily walk, so I worried a little. Is it a bad time to be here?” he asked, a soft grin crossing his face.

Audrey looked at him with confusion and adoration, touched by how he had worried for her. His concern for her was reinforcing the beliefs she had developed for him over time. "No," she began, "it's not, but if my parents were home, they'd certainly be confused as to why you're here." She giggled slightly before opening the door wider to let him in.

As Dutch entered the home, his eyes took in the elaborate decorations. The house wasn't massive, but it was clearly the residence of someone with money, such as Audrey's family. Couches were placed against the walls, with paintings of ballet dancers or other random subjects hanging nearby. Some rooms even had grandfather clocks in the corner. It was clear that the family had a particular taste in interior design.

Audrey pointed out, "You came at a good time, actually. My parents are at a party, and our butler is busy in his office. He can't hear very well, so you don't need to worry about being caught being here." She was feeling nervous, given the fact that he was standing right in her home. She couldn't help but wonder what might happen and prayed for the best.

Dutch chuckled lightly and responded, "Oh, I'm not worried, sweetheart. I've handled worse…." He strolled around, taking in the room, then stopped and gazed at her. His eyes seemed to brim with admiration, or perhaps even desire or need. She couldn't quite decipher his intent.

"Can I get you anything?" Audrey inquired with a warm smile and kind tone as she approached Dutch, offering her assistance. Dutch politely declined, and they made their way to the sitting room, sitting on the soft couch next to each other in comfortable silence. The ticking of the clock reverberated in the background, adding to the peaceful atmosphere.

Dutch noticed a piece of paper on the table, addressed to Audrey. His curiosity piqued, he asked, "What's that letter for? Some secret lover?" He offered the comment with a dark chuckle, turning back to her for her response. Audrey's eyes widened, and she hurriedly dismissed his suggestion by replying that she had no lover and the letter didn't concern him.

Dutch continued his line of questioning about the letter, disguising his true intent as a lighthearted banter. He acted as if he were merely joking, but deep down, he truly desired to know the contents of the letter. Audrey, giving in to the temptation, finally spoke about the letter's significance, revealing its importance to Dutch.

"There was an ad I found where the church asked for donations to feed those who couldn't afford to do so themselves," Audrey explained, detailing her generous gesture. "I sent a letter with a check for a thousand dollars - it's the best I could do. My parents were part of the effort to donate such a sum, meaning this letter is them thanking me." She wondered why he was so interested in knowing the contents of the letter, but she pushed the curiosity aside for now, determined not to make a fuss about it.

As she spoke, Dutch's eyes lit up with delight, amazed that Audrey could be so generous. He realized that he could explain his situation to her, hoping that she would understand and be willing to help. He then moved his body closer to her, carefully drawing her into his arms and cradling her close. He made certain that she was comfortable with his embrace before proceeding, ensuring that any physical contact was consensual and mutually desired.

Audrey inhaled sharply at the sudden turn of events, her heart pounding harder than ever before. She looked at Dutch directly in the eyes, and for a moment, she was rendered speechless. Dutch's charm had once again gotten the better of her, leaving her feeling vulnerable yet intrigued at the same time. She let her hands rest on his chest, taking comfort in his embrace.

Dutch spoke softly to her, "Not only are you beautiful, but you also have a kind heart. You are truly a gem among women." He then took one of his hands and gently caressed her cheek with care, making sure not to frighten or overwhelm her. He desired to keep her calm and at ease in his embrace, which he hoped she felt comfortable and safe in.

she noticed her head and his were slowly leaning into each other slowly, then in a blink of eye both of their lips touched. the taste of whiskey and cigars came off of him but she didn't mind it. her mind was going crazy on how carefully he was kissing her. with such passion. he now had both of his hands on her face holding her into the kiss more as her hands wrapped around his neck.

Audrey withdrew abruptly from him after several moments of sharing an intimate embrace, breathing heavily as she looked back to the clock on the wall behind them. Her face took on a blushing hue as she became flustered and shy, recognizing that this was her first-ever kiss. "My parents are probably on their way home; it's best you go now before they arrive," she spoke softly, trying to gather her thoughts and recover from the encounter.

Dutch left the house after taking one last look at Audrey, his expression soft as he contemplated what had just transpired. That very evening, he disclosed his plans to the gang, detailing his encounter with Audrey. Meanwhile, Audrey remained in her room, grinning with joy, as if she held a well-kept secret from everyone else. Her parents entered the home mere moments after Dutch had departed, inquiring as to why their daughter looked as if she were harboring something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week had elapsed since then, and Dutch had secretly made his way into Audrey's room on two separate occasions. During those visits, they spent time simply conversing, and there was even some kissing involved. However, he was confident that he had caught Audrey's interest, as she consistently displayed affection towards him, including during their current rendezvous. She sat beside him on the bed, leaning into Dutch with a playful smile on her face, awaiting his next move. Dutch was aware that the moment was ideal, and he thus prepared to ask her the question that weighed heavily on his mind.

"May I ask you something?" Dutch inquired, eyeing the wall decor that sported a floral motif. Audrey lifted her gaze from him to follow his line of vision to the flowers on the wallpaper. She nodded, inviting him to proceed with his inquiry.

"You likely have a fair idea of my identity and the actions I must take in order to sustain the safety of my gang-family," Dutch remarked, clenching his fist while resting it near his chest. "We have been running and hiding for years, and we are simply growing weary," he lamented, then shifting his gaze away from the wallpaper to face her. Dutch was finally prepared to broach the subject on his mind, looking towards Audrey expectantly.

Audrey lifted her head upwards as he continued to speak, her interest piqued by his revelations. Although she was well aware of his identity and the deeds he was known for, she couldn't bring herself to push him away. Audrey was too infatuated with Dutch, even despite her opposition to the violent nature of his gang's activities. She remained intent on listening to the rest of what he had to say, still seeking an understanding of the nuances of his situation.

Dutch expressed a sense of desperation as he implored her, "We are making efforts to save money in the hopes of permanently relocating to Tahiti. I was curious if you might be able to lend me financial assistance in this pursuit, my darling..." He held her hands between his own, kissing them softly and gently, demonstrating a clear plea in his eyes.

Audrey gasped upon hearing Dutch's plea for financial aid in leaving the country. She was concerned at the prospect of him leaving her behind, but before she could voice her opinions, Dutch began to speak again. "And I cannot bear the thought of leaving you here by yourself," he elaborated, planting a kiss on the back of her hand in an attempt to persuade her. "We can become an item, my cherished," he declared, continuing to try and convince her of the merits of his proposal.

Audrey's eyes lit up as she listened to Dutch's assurance that he would take her with him to Tahiti. She yearned for a simple life, and the thought of being loved by a man who adored her greatly was exactly what she desired. She expressed her gratitude and acceptance of his offer, expressing her worries of what her life would have been like without him. Audrey hugged him tightly, grateful to have found a companion who cherished her and intended to share a life with her.

Dutch exuded a sinister expression as Aubrey embraced him, aware that he had achieved ultimate success. He realized that all he needed was the money she possessed, and he could leave the country with confidence, finding safety for himse- his gang and him with ease. Once he acquired the means, he could flee without any impediment, and his path to Tahiti would be paved without resistance.

"You have my utmost gratitude, my dear," Dutch declared, placing a kiss on her forehead, and then swiftly making his way out of her bedroom, making certain not to draw undue attention to himself. Audrey promptly returned to her bed, eager to ensure that the funds were at his disposal by the start of the following day. She allowed herself to drift off to sleep with anticipation, wondering if they would make new friends once they touched down in Tahiti.

~~~~~~~~~~

On the following morning, Audrey awoke early, and hastily proceeded to the bank, having made a firm decision to gather the necessary funds to support Dutch's plans of leaving the country. Walking down the city streets, she then reached the Cathedral and noticed him approaching her with a sense of satisfaction and pridefulness. His weapons seemed to glitter in the morning sunlight, and he exuded an air of confidence as he confidently moved towards her.

Audrey's hand swiftly moved upwards, and she placed bills of money in Dutch's hand, who eagerly took hold of them without even hesitating. A feeling of joy washed over Dutch's features, and he flashed a satisfied grin in her direction. "You have done splendidly, my dear," he complimented before adding, "I possess pressing duties to carry out, but I will return to you as soon as possible to finalize our escape." He then nodded to her and proceeded to disappear into the alleys, eager to get started with his preparations.

A day later…….

two days….

three going onto weeks.

As the days passed, Audrey had not heard from Dutch. Her worries began to consume her, and she soon harbored a strong sense of uncertainty, considering that he had perhaps simply abandoned her, leaving without a trace. She was heartbroken at the idea of being cheated and made a mockery of, having granted him a hefty amount of money only to have her hopes shattered. Audrey cried into her pillow, her sorrow compounded by her parents' scolding once they learned about the financial situation she was in.

In time, she was left alone to stew in her emotions of anger and disappointment, incapable of finding any means to vent or relieve her anguish. She felt like she was left in the dark, and the realization of the broken promise and broken heart became too much for her, leaving her with a myriad of feelings that she struggled to express.

he had broken his promise….

[think-like-a-poet]

✯My masterlist✯

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prompt list(11-8 till 21-8)

Hello, welcome to my blog. Here you can find all my written pieces. I hope you can enjoy some.

Requests are open

I write for Formula 1( including old drivers), Formula 2( including old drivers), Formula 3. If you want a driver in a different category, you can always request and I can see if I write it.

I dont write for football anymore, sorry

F1: I do not write for Valterri Bottas, Nico Hulkenberg, Kevin Magnussen, logan Sargeant, Lance Stroll and Esteban Ocon. List can be changed at all times.

I do not really write smut. Sometimes when I feel like it or the request is really nice I maybe do it, but probably not.

(NSFW)- 18+ content .( S x D )- song x driver

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please let me know if a link doesn't work!

Formula 1

My ao3 stories

Hurt(logan sargeant)

Put on the camera pt 1(Landoscar)

Smile at the camera pt 2(Landoscar)

Teach me a thing or two(Max x Oscar x Charles)

Tattooed in ink(lestappen)

Tell me what you want(4433)

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My beautiful boy ( fem!driver x oc bf)

Loscar(NSFW)- Gamer/ Only fans AU

MV1

Crazy cat lady

Last talk

Thight riding (NSFW)

Kiss me ( S x D)

Tell em ( S x D )

Drunk yapping

What is a soft launch

LN4

Stay in

Casual ( S x D)

Out of my league ( S x D)

Here alone again ( S x D )

Necklace

OP81

Breakfast

Campus ( S x D )

Hold my girl ( S x D)

unnamed

Shut me up ( S x D)

Miss you

CL16

Traitor pt 1

Take me back to the night me met pt 2

Bust the windows out your car pt 3

Ferrari

That girl ( S x D)

CS55

positive

spending time

Bar fight

Behind the camera

Ordinary life ( NSFW)( s x D)

PG10

Helping him calm down ft Kika Gomes

LH44

Lost and found

GR63

Yuck ( S x D)

Jenson Button

Beach kisses

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Formula 2

Franco Colapinto

Back home

Biggest supporter

Sacrifice Tonight ( S x D)

She said yes- Arthur Leclerc

Prema challenges

Food challenge- Loscar x reader

Truth or dare- Loscar x reader

Only question-Arthur, Ollie, Dennis x reader

Wheelbarrow challenge- Dennis Hauger x reader

Headcanons

Ollie bearman/ Victor Martins

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Football

Kenan Yildiz( Turkish nt)

Jealousy

Biggest Supporter

Pregnancy

Surprise visit

Babysitting

Arda Güler ( Turkihs nt)

Supporter

Xavi Simons( Dutch Nt)

Jealousy

Holiday spirit

Nico Williams( Spanish Nt)

Trust issues

[willardsrestwidow]

❝We hold it in our eyes, the answer to it all❞ - Molly O'Shea x Fem!Reader

Pairings: Molly O'Shea x Fem!Reader, Molly O'Shea x (if-you-squint-your-eyes)OC!Reader.

Synopsis: After years of living as a hermit in a secluded hut in the woods, you finally find freedom, only to stumble into a life of crime. Stealing was nothing new to you, but joining a gang of outlaws changes everything. For the first time, the allure of shimmering gold pales in comparison to the captivating gaze of a certain pair of Irish green eyes.

Word Count: 5,3k

Warnings: Dutch, toxic-relationship, couple arguing but no physical violence, Dutch again, and eventual smut - oral, fingering; wlw sex basically.

Please only read if you're +18!

A/N: girlies and pals, I'm down bad for this woman, and that's that ig. I never wrote for rdr buuuuuut ive been a reader for a long time now. And speaking of long things, it's 5k words yall.... the thirst was IMMENSE!!!

Eyes were the windows to one’s soul.

It was what you were taught still as a youngster living out in the woods with your Pa.

When hunting, you just had to look into the animal’s eyes to know what sort of prey they would be. The slight convulsing of the irises, he’d say, was an indication of weakness. A fixed gaze on something else or complete disregard for human presence meant you’d need more bullets and more air in your lungs to chase the creature through the difficult terrain. And, of course, there were the eerie stares that seemed to pierce your soul — slit pupils or fully dilated ones — creatures you would encounter only three times in your life. Pa would mention bears and alligators, foul beings not to be trifled with, and a secret third one he would take to his humble grave, never to be revealed.

Well, regardless, the hunt had grown in you over time until Pa’s death, coinciding with when your needs began to grow beyond nature’s boundaries. Like a fish drawn by the shimmery light in the ocean, you took the first step out of the small shack, not knowing it’d would be the last time you set foot there.

In civilization, you found the same types of stares in store clerks, rich folk, and equally petty thieves. For once, a bullet between their eyes was not the ideal route for most encounters, if what you faced could even be called that. You began small—a poacher with a weakness for beautiful women, using the night and darkness to act upon your urges. There was no need to grow in what became your dark habit, to seek fame or further luxuries. You were content with sleeping in a different place every night until a late-night robbery got the entire sheriff’s ‘cavalry’ tailing after your sorry-ass. In the end, you rode your stolen horse off a cliff, resulting in multiple mild injuries, including a sharp stick in your thigh that rendered you bedridden for an entire week.

Bedridden, that is, because fate granted you a chance by sending a group of broad-shouldered figures mounted on horses your way. Or perhaps it was the other way around. It was while being spoon-fed by a lovely girl with dark features that you learned to whom you owed your gratitude, and the name rang a bell, if not several.

“I ain’t cut for washing clothes by the riverbank like they do. I mean, I can, but…” you recalled saying one sunny morning, the sunlight shining upon Clemens Point, to the only person you’d seen listening to others: Arthur Morgan. His hooded, blue eyes seemed to be everywhere around camp as he listened to you, even on Mary-Something, who was mindlessly reading a novel on her break. You couldn’t tell for sure because the man wouldn’t stay in one place, forcing you to keep chasing after him. Your lungs cried for help as you continued, “I just… hah, I can be useful outside camp too!”

“What they been feedin’ you and Miss Adler, huh? Look, if Dutch ain’t lettin’ you out, maybe you should try winning his trust,” Morgan mumbled over his shoulder. “Now, if I were you, I’d start with that laundry basket.”

“Did you start with laundry too? Uh… Morgan?”

Thus, your first, real week was marked by incessant running after dirty laundry and helping Pearson with cooking — which, in hindsight, was as tiring and demanding as any other job. Oddly enough, you couldn’t catch sight of Dutch or even enter his luxurious tent, the same being kept with its flaps down at all times as a high-pitched opera always emanated from within.

Like a trapped hummingbird, your patience began to wear thin. Dangerous thoughts of returning to the woods plagued your mind for a full night, but a warm morning opened your eyes to a bigger catch.

“Can I smoke in silence, woman? In God’s name, be quiet!” was the first human sound to be heard from a tent far from where you were, early on, gathering the rags sprawled around a sleeping Uncle. The gravelly tone with a slight crack in some words made you perk your head up and forget your duties. You couldn’t understand the stance your body took, as if you were young again, with a gun bigger than your body, which could just as well have been the damned laundry basket, and back out in the silent woods. You allowed the memory to take over, and careful steps to take you just about as close as a hunter could get to a creature.

An irked Dutch, deep creases carving his forehead and squinted eyes barely visible, tried to light the fat cigar hanging from his lips in front of his tent. A few feet away, Hosea sharpened his knife, and a determined Grimshaw marched across camp, though neither seemed to be part, or concerned about what soon followed.

From behind one of his shoulders, a flash of red, curly hair appeared and then disappeared. You figured it was his woman — the name failed you at the moment, but the intriguing freckled face, often marred with sadness, did not. “Charles saw it too, y’know?” she sounded from behind him, surely standing on her tiptoes for you saw another glimpse of her hair. “Charles, and Tilly, and John — bleedin’ John who’s never here has seen it. Everybody saw how you ate her with your eyes!”

“You’ve been on it since yesterday,” Dutch answered, his face showing neither sympathy nor worry about her tone. “Go get some rest. Lord knows you need it.”

“Ah, it would be easy for ya, wouldn’t it? Surely if I slept, if I disappeared, if I died, you’d be free to roam this earth after each pair of legs that may captivate ya.”

The vainglorious leader, now with a successfully lit cigar between his fingers, turned his back to you to direct his next words to the afflicted woman. “Die you shall if you spend another night wide-awake, thinking absurdities like the one you speak of.” Being met with an audible groan, he continued, “Rest, Miss O’Shea. Hopefully you oughta wake up more elucidated.”

Perhaps it was for the better that the broad-shouldered man kept her reaction veiled behind his physique and muffled her muttered response with an audible exhale. No, no 'perhaps'—it was meant to be, for it built the perfect suspense, pushing you just a tad closer to the scene in order to experience the long-awaited climax in the first row.

And, boy, did that also serve to wake the entire camp up.

Your ears caught the words, “You will know I didn’t cross the Atlantic to be your gimcrack,” before a satisfactory crack pierced the air. Angling your curious body, you were blessed with the view of the Irishwoman’s heels stomping on Dutch’s opera shellac record, straight out of his gramophone. His reaction was as expected; he let out a roar, dropped his cigar—which dangerously disappeared between his tent’s loose floorboards—and lunged at the redhead. At that very moment, you too dropped what you’re holding and charged forward to her aid, only to be rooted in place by a firm grasp on your upper arm. You turned to confront the new target of your rage, but upon facing a huffing Arthur Morgan, the grumbles emanating from within your chest ceased.

“I wanted you to feel it for yourself, but I don’t think you even have a heart to love a ting in the first place,” O’Shea continued, sounding ten paces farther away. “I’ll break whatever you own, and hope one day your pain will come near mine!”

A glance behind your shoulder was enough to spark another fire in you; the man’s big hands were then wrapped firmly around her arms. And you were sure to have convulsed under Morgan’s grasp. Alas, the sight wouldn’t come near as infuriating as the hushed threats against her ear, and ultimately the release of her as if she wasn’t worth his time. Before gathering with a somber Matthews, who was drawn in by the fight, Dutch turned to the disheveled one to let out a last hiss, “I dare you embark on the first ship back to your land,” and riveted his warning gaze towards you.

“Brown bears; damn fools, they is! If you drop on the ground and hold yer breath, you’s fine. Just never run away from one,” your old Pa said to a younger you one fine morning, while you’re out on the porch, cleaning his rifle, as he rocked on the creaky chair. “And then there’s alligators, who’s cleverer… Yer old Pa has a few scars with a bunch o’ stories along, uhum. Those ones will test yer body—have you runnin’ from side to side, jumpin’ on trees and all that good stuff. Thing is, ya can live from an encounter. Butcha won’t be runnin’ from the third one, I’ll tell ya. Ah, better yet... Heh, let time teach ya this lesson.”

And it did. For now, the third creature, the deadliest of all, was staring right back at you, its eyes reflecting a darkness you had never known.

It felt like ages had gone by when Linde broke the intense eye contact to march away from the troubles he created, a sigh of relief exiting your lungs as he did so. O’Shea remained silent after the entire ordeal. Still having to reclaim your freedom from Morgan, you watched her kick one of the record’s pieces and wander in circles inside her tent, finally resorting to sitting on her shared cot and burying her face in her hands.

“Grimshaw’s in need of more hands to clean them rifles,” Arthur finally said, oddly softly, as if he spoke with a child. Though you’d never heard him talk to Jack like that before. “Go on, then, girl.”

To say you were willing to risk your position in the gang to go running toward the weeping woman was an understatement. You were willing to risk your life, even! But… then what? You grew up around the silence of the woods, the teachings of your father that only served for hunting, and the bloodshed of innocent creatures — gallons after gallons of blood. Trivial aspects of life, like comforting one another or curling your lips around sweet words, were beyond your reach. So what if you ran toward her? So what if you took her freckled face out of her hands into your roughened ones? Could you muster the correct words to soothe her ache?

Thus, for a second time, you followed Morgan’s advice and stomped your way toward Susan Grimshaw and the many rifles on the table. The smell of gun oil and grease that would define your afternoon was never strong enough to erase the memory of the woman’s pale-green eyes, or how they danced nervously when she looked at her man.

✤ ✤ ✤

Tilly had come to you when the sun was setting in the plains’ horizon with a pleading look to her kind features. Her gaze would fall on the black grease coating your numb fingers, for a second thinking through on her request, but surrendering to her hidden urges.

You were to resume the laundry you left behind.

“’Course, anythin’,” you mumbled when wiping the sweat of your forehead with your wrist.

Your legs took you close to where the damned laundry basket was, curiously outside Dutch and O’Shea’s tent. You swallowed dryly, and without realizing it, you were tiptoeing toward the flaps-down tent.

For the first time since you joined the outlaws, an obnoxiously loud opera wasn’t resounding from the infamous gramophone. In fact, nothing was sounding from within—not even the muffled whimpers of a heartbroken and awfully tired woman. But it was the glow of a lamp seeping under the tarp that kept you on edge, enticing you to approach and press a curious eye to a single hole in the fabric separating you from…

…no one.

The stage for the early, rather disturbing event was lacking its main protagonists—whether for the worst or the better. You knew the leader had fled camp to trail trouble in some corner of the heartlands. Now, the whereabouts of the red-haired lady were truly unknown.

You knew how to look for tracks, traces of wandering life, and you did your best to find those in her tent, snooping through her belongings with a special focus on her clothes poking out of her bag and how flowery they all smelled… yes, all of them. Nevertheless, your time spent rummaging through her trinkets and personal items gave not a single clue about where she could be hiding.

For the bleak moment in hands, you found yourself fond of a golden necklace you’d seen around her neck that morning, the very same one with the oval red stone that hung tantalizingly near her freckled bosoms, calling curious eyes to ogle. Without much ceremony, you swooped the necklace into the old pouch strapped around your waist and headed north, toward the riverbank.

Arriving near the flowing stream, which served that night as a mirror for the stars above, you set the wash tubs, basket, an oil lamp, and your numb behind on the gravel, mentally preparing yourself for the pile of worn undergarments before you. You cussed under your breath; your fingers ached, and your hands bore light scars from the week of rough washing. The weight of leaving Pa’s shack to pursue what had become a living hell felt tenfold heavier upon your shoulders. Your posture sagged, you sighed, and you felt as though the cries of distant coyotes were the ones your lips wouldn’t dare utter, but were tempted to.

Your hands reached for the necklace again, bringing it before the faint glow of the crescent moon and the lamp you had brought along. You watched the gold chain dance between your fingers, the red stone resting in your palm, passing on the warmth you needed at that instant. And how odd it was that upon bringing it to your lips, you could hear its owner’s voice engulfing the open space around you.

“I bought it back in Galway while waitin’ to board the ship to America. An old gentleman was selling his families remainin’ heirlooms to pay for his daughter’s treatment. I thought it was in good condition, so I bought it.”

“Mhmm,” you replied, half-lidded eyes following the hypnotic dance you forced the necklace to make. From side to side, front and back.

“It’s true,” O’Shea’s voice resurfaced from somewhere, carrying frustration at your indifference. “That purchase was the best, and single good choice I made in my entire life. Needless to say, I want it back.”

The third time you heard that outlandish accent, it began to dawn on you that perhaps it wasn’t just a figment of your imagination driven by the guilt of stealing the woman’s necklace, but rather her real presence nearby. You whipped your head over your shoulder and saw a very real O’Shea leaning against a tree, a cigarette nestled between her fingers. Just how had you not seen her before was beyond your mortal comprehension, but there she was, enshrouded in a thick curtain of mystery.

“What’s your name, hm? I don’t believe even he knows your name.” You weren’t sure if by ‘he’ she meant Dutch or God himself… both options couldn’t be far from the truth.

“It’s… It’s…”

“I saw you earlier today,” she interrupted, saving you from the struggle of letting your name roll off your tongue, which on normal days was as easy as breathing. But the woman seemed too engrossed in her own battles to notice the unpleasantry. She then took a long drag from her cigarette and placed a supporting arm over her stomach. “What would’ve you done if Arthur hadn’t stopped you?”

Long gone were the days of washing, you thought to yourself. It was high time to seek after what truly mattered to a low-life like you. So, taking the rickety lamp, you set sail over to where she was standing, letting the crickets and hoots fill the night air while ideas blossomed in your mind. One of them was stopping just an arm’s length from her and motioning for the cigarette in her hold. You proudly watched as she guided the tobacco-filled roll to your lips, and soon enough, felt the bitter smoke fill your lungs.

“No good, that’s for sure,” you replied huskily.

“Well, I must know. Should’ve I been the object of your anger, that is.”

“I would make him learn and remember my name for centuries to come. Not the other way around.”

The shadow your body casted over O’Shea’s was not enough to hide the raise of her eyebrows, like she wanted to believe it did. Had you just then impressed or utterly disappointed her continued a mystery, for she took on the duty of raising her walls even higher — a delectable challenge for you to indulge in.

“Hmph,” she shrugged lightly, busying herself with extinguishing her cigarette. It wasn’t until her perfectly pointy nose was breathing hot air against your exposed clavicle that you saw fit to place an arm on the tree above her head, in an effort to stop leaning onto her petite self. Though she didn’t seem to mind at all once she continued, “Can’t say gracing him with the knowledge of your name would be a good offensive. Other than terribly tamed, is quite… unfair, no?”

“Right,” you chuckled, taking a deep breath in anticipation of what was about to happen. First, you took the same hand that held the cigarette — soft to the touch, as you’d imagined — and placed the valuable necklace in it. Once your gaze returned to hers, your name slipped past your lips without further hesitation.

“Right,” she echoed, her tongue sliding across her bottom lip as she watched you step back, providing more space between your bodies. Suddenly, the cold air was unbearable to the Irishwoman. “You, erm…. You don’t have to meddle in mine and Dutch’s affairs anymore. I’m sure one day we’ll be back to normal again, and all shall be fine. I’m tempted, even, to say you shouldn’t have interfered in the first place.”

A chuckle paved the path for your tease, “I see a perfectly normal woman standin’ before me.”

“I bet me honor if somebody were to demand you to point at Molly, you wouldn’t know it is I, sweetheart.”

“Aha! That’s ‘cause I’d never raise a finger at yo’self! Now, if we’re talking about the high-and-mighty Dutch —"

"He loves me!" Molly yelled, her fists curling defensively in front of her torso. To you, this seemed like a stance ready to strike or flee. But instead of running, as her posture suggested, she marched toward you and used her fists to shove you. Though not hard enough to make you fall, you stumbled backward, feeling the pain her hands inflicted on your chest soon after. "You have no idea how I crossed the Atlantic for him, how I left everything in Ireland to follow him. I’ve shed who I was, who I could even become, just to fit here with him. Go ahead, join the others as they laugh at the fool I am! Surely that's what they’re all doin' now!”

Her body trembled like the tiny flame inside the lamp swaying in your hands. Just as you had once wished as a child, you wanted to reach out and touch it, despite all the evident warning signs. You remembered watching Pa extinguish a candle with his thumb and index finger while you soothed your own burned fingers. Back then, you attributed that ability, and that alone, to men — to control fire — and how you envied them to have touched what you could only dream of.

Luckily, the world seemed on your side for once when a distinguishable crunch sounded beneath your boot. You looked down to find the necklace which had been sacrificed during her outburst. Before she took notice of it, you snatched and carefully placed in her hold again, oddly welcoming. “Indeed, buyin’ this necklace is worth the title you gave it,” was your final comment on the matter, a prolonged silence being the deserving answer. “Well,” you sighed, “why don’t ya stop by my tent one of these days while you wait to become normal again? I ain’t got much to offer, but…”

“What, am I supposed to greet Tilly on me way in? Isn’t she the one you share your tent with?”

It wasn’t coarse or unpleasant in the least. The comment was, by all means, very ‘Molly’, and was met with nothing except an affectioned smile.

“Yer sayin’ the offer interested the likes of ya?”

O’Shea’s eyes wandered over the plain’s surroundings, blinking at every tree as if they were her audience, darting from the starry sky to the plain river behind you. She wasn’t pondering the question, no; she was grounding herself. When her gaze returned to you, her gentle green eyes flickered slightly, a maddened waltz not from fear of you but from the turmoil within her. You could only watch as she reached a personal conclusion, her nostrils flaring as she took a determined gulp of breath.

“What I am saying is mine’s far less crowded.”

✤

Much like a drunk bastard forced to go a minute without a drop of alcohol, you found yourself weak in the minutes it took to wash your face in the communal bucket of water and change into something less worn out. Your mind had come to terms with “Molly” being the only name that mattered, and from the vast knowledge about nature and hunting that once occupied your thoughts, now, nothing outside the realm of 'her' held any importance. Obviously, the feeble state of your mind was kept a secret as you marched towards Molly’s tent. The strength with which your boots left several holes in the patch of grass made most onlookers think a fight was brewing.

But all that energy died out once you stopped by the quiet tent.

What if it was a trap? Your primal instincts questioned as you crossed your arms and bit your bottom lip. What if Dutch were standing behind those closed flaps, his 5'11" frame proud and undoubtedly satisfied with his recent catch?

You began to taste blood.

Oh, but what if she was alone, after all? What if you came all this way, bent over backwards, only to be denied what you've been craving? Would you bite the bullet or would you die with it lodged in your head?

The inner dispute, loudly resonating across every corner of your mind, left almost no space for the muffled voice coming from within the tent.

“Didn’t take you for a quitter,” Molly said, her tone mirroring the one in your head — ardently desperate. Surely, the big shadow your body cast over the white canvas gave away your presence, not to mention the questions of several gang members about your incessant pacing, for she quickly continued, making it clear she was speaking to you, “Call me old-fashioned, but whatever you came here to do, you must to do facing me. Otherwise, be on your way.”

“Damn, you seem set on the idea that folks laughin’ at ya. Hell, do ya think I’m too? ‘Cause if so…”

“I can guarantee the only ting I’ve got me mind set on is that I don’t want to be lonely any longer than I’ve been.���

“Why, ain’t that…” you began, yet much like the chaos previously flooding your head, it watered down into pure hollowness. The sadness inflicted through her words carving unbearable holes in your insides. “I’m heading in.”

For once, the cluttered interior with its woodsy scent and Linde’s riches on display did not capture your attention. Instead, it was O'Shea who was quietly sitting on a stool, her back turned to you, holding a small pocket mirror angled to reflect your entire figure as you entered.

It took you a moment to fully take in her appearance: her delicate frame clad only in white undergarments, her hair braided to the side to showcase the golden necklace resting around her neck, and her bare shoulders rising and falling with the slow, hypnotic rhythm of her breathing.

The steps you took towards her had caused cracks from the loose floorboards, but even then, even if a gunshot sounded from within the tent, you wouldn’t have taken your eyes off the figure before you.

“For your information,” she began with a tilt in her tone, “he never hurt me. Physically, that is. He never made me regret me choices, either. I love him. I painstakingly love him; with all my heart, in every breath I take.”

Sacrificing your knees, you leveled your face with the back of her head, fingers aching to touch the crook of her neck and her soft hair but instead choosing to play along with her game. “That sounds like a big ordeal.”

Once again, she used her mirror to gaze at you, but you could only see her parted, red lips reflected in the tiny surface. You watched them exhale a shaky breath, if not for the sudden lack of oxygen felt inside the tent. “That it is.”

“Then you must be tired of lovin’ too much and receivin’ nothin’ in return...”

Whether it was from the drunken haze her scent indulged you in, or from the deep-seated urge in your heart to make her forget about Dutch, you wasted no further time and pressed your lips to her bare back, prompting a short melody to slip past her lips. Her skin, as expected, was on fire, as if each freckle was an ember in the bonfire that Molly O’Shea has become. And of course, it drove you crazy, urging you to plant more kisses across the small region until she graced you with a proper answer.

“Tired? I — Ah — am nothin’ of the kind. All this lovin’, all this sacrifice will eventually pay off.”

You grinned against her skin, teasing a small area with the tip of your tongue and finishing with a light bite. “You know, lovin’ someone shouldn’t involve sacrifice. You're puttin’ in overtime, honey. Maybe it's time to find some shade under someone else's tree,” you rasped out.

The pocket mirror shook, and in the exact second your eyes poked out from behind her shoulder you saw a glimpse of her closed eyes, “What do you suggest, then?”

“I think the woman ‘fore me was promised many things already, hm?”

“It pains me to say this,” Molly mumbled with a single nod, dropping the mirror to reach out for your compliant hands, intertwining them with hers in front of her. “But you do know me so well.”

Never before had you tasked your lips with such a delicate mission as trailing kisses from her shoulder to her neck. It was a challenging endeavor, especially since with each touch, the Irishwoman would gasp and lean further back into you, igniting the flames of what had once been an innocent and rather controlled fire between the two of you. When you reached her ear and playfully bit her earlobe, she had surrendered completely — squirming, moaning, and despite her efforts, unable to conceal the squeezing of her thighs from your hungry gaze. And you ventured to the edge of boundaries, indulging in the pleasure of sliding the straps of her nightgown down, unaware that gravity would reveal more than just the skin of her shoulders.

As for Molly, she loved how the realization that her breasts were bare had you scrambling to your feet and circling her body. Finally, driving someone crazy wasn’t met with dire consequences; instead, it brought a familiar blush to her cheeks and made the remaining clothes draped over her curves feel too tight.

“Damn me,” you choked as you sunk to your knees again, throat bobbing several times with the moans you successfully strangled.

O’Shea smiled for the first time before your eyes, leaning forward just to tease what had your mouth rapidly watering. “Someone definitely will, sweetheart. Perhaps even God himself. But I honestly couldn’t give a bleedin’ damn.”

“And to me? What’ll you give?”

Her hands suddenly flew to your hair, fingers getting tangled in the mess of knots, adding to the delicious pain as she pulled them against the roots. Soon, you understood her message and leveled your face with hers, closing any distance as she pressed her lips to yours, inviting your body closer with the opening of her legs. When her lips parted between kisses, not for air like you had thought, she blurted her answer…

“Everything.”

You had no exact answer, but you figured that the second you began flicking her nipples, to outright tugging on them, Molly had to internally scream at each of her bones to support the weight of her flesh as it seemed to feel tenfold heavier. Needless to say, the second your mouth left hers to envelop one of her hardened nubs, the woman couldn't hold her tongue any longer. A loud moan tore itself from her throat, echoing throughout the room. The sensation was overwhelming, causing every nerve ending in her body to spark alive with pleasure. The grip she had on your hair tightened, pulling slightly as if trying to force your head down even further onto her nipple.

Feeling emboldened by Molly's pleas, you slowly ventured your fingers downward, past the hem of her nightgown. Your fingertips brushed against the delicate fabric, teasing her further before finally dipping below into the wet mess she had been housing between her legs. Your fingers slid easily through her slick folds, the warmth and wetness enveloping them almost immediately. Molly's breath hitched, her body stiffening beneath yours as you explored her most intimate area. Her inner walls clenched around nothing, desperately seeking something — someone — to fill them.

You could practically hear the desperation in Molly's ragged breaths, her body writhing beneath yours as you continued to tease her clit with your fingers. “You're makin’ me crazy,” you gasped, though the swell of her breasts, which your face had been wantonly buried in, muffled each of your words. Regardless, every brush of your fingers against her sensitive clit sent shocks of pleasure coursing through her body, causing her to buck and writhe beneath you. The feeling, you came to understand, was more than mutual.

“You’re wasting your breath on something useless as words,” was all Molly managed to get out. Her hips jerked upwards involuntarily, seeking friction from your wandering hand.

Taking advantage of her exposed position, you shifted down, trailing kisses along the valley between her breasts, to her stomach, down to her mound. With deliberate slowness, you replaced your fingers with your mouth, swirling your tongue over her swollen clit.

Molly's reaction was immediate and visceral. Her hands sought support at the edge of her stool, her knuckles turning white.

Your tongue worked tirelessly over her clit, lapping at the throbbing bundle of nerves with relentless determination, releasing sinful sounds into the warm air. With each flick and suckle, Molly’s breathing grew heavier, her moans louder. Then, without warning, her entire world narrowed down to the point where your mouth was touching her. Every worry, every heartache seemed to fade into the background, allowing her the rare moment to exist outside of thoughts about Dutch, her family back in Ireland, and the love she had longed to experience. Her back arched off the stool, her core clenching and releasing in rhythmic spasms as she came hard. And hard she came.

You couldn't control yourself either. The same whirlwind that had clearly swept through the Irishwoman had also affected you, though the chaos it caused within you wasn't as visibly exposed as it was on her. In other words, even the sweat coating her freckled skin deserved your appreciation, as it added a glow to the already god-like figure looking down upon you with something akin to adoration.

“Will you stay the night?” Molly purred tiredly as you took on the duty of securing her weakened body into her shared cot. Your eyes glimmered with lust as she wrapped her arms around your neck, planting open-mouthed kisses on your skin. Alas, even that seemed to wear her down completely. Gently, you laid her bare body down on the cot, unable to resist giving her one last kiss, though you kept it brief.

“Ah, don’t go playing games now,” she chuckled upon seeing you fix your clothing and ready yourself to leave. “Stay.”

“I’m gonna take ya outta this sorry life…”

“Mhmm.”

It was your turn to chuckle at the utter beauty of her sleepy face. “I’ll try with all my might to give Molly O’Shea the life she deserves.”

Her face suddenly grew grim, though her tiredness limited the severity of the grimace she meant to flash you. “Promises…” she breathed out, her eyelids growing heavier. “Promises,” she murmured before surrendering to the strong force pulling her into the depths of slumber, but not before a final, “promises,” slipped past her lipstick-smudged lips.

On the nightstand beside the now-sleeping figure, along with an oil lamp, was a forgotten glass of whiskey with a residual liquid resting at the bottom. There were no traces of red lipstick on its round edges, so you figured, as you brought the glass closer to your face, that it belonged to Van der Linde. Not that it gave you any pleasure or — God forbid — played into any fantasy you might’ve had for him, but taking the glass to your lips, feeling the bitter liquid burn down your throat, and later placing it back next to Molly’s spent figure felt like fulfilling a duty.

With that in mind, you tucked the woman in, giving her forehead one last kiss before making your way out.

The camp, much to your relief, was still buzzing with life. No one seemed to have any idea of what had transpired inside the tent, including the newcomers who had just arrived.

Yes.

Just as you stepped outside the tent, Dutch and four other men rode into camp on their horses. Some people welcomed them, while others, like you, stood their ground. It was dangerous, and you knew it: standing there in the predator’s den, bearing nothing but a victorious smile on your weary face as he made his way to his resting place. But old Pa didn’t know — and how could he? — that the deadliest creature was, in fact, an easy kill.

Only, it wouldn’t take a bullet or an arrow.

It would take some cunning and the golden necklace tangled around your fingers.

[paradox-valleyy]

Lost and Found

Pre-Canon rdr 2 x Teen!fem!oc

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Word count: 3,5 k

Notes: Next Chapter the gang will start getting more involved I promise 🙏

Jolene awoke with a jolt, someone’s boot nudging her leg repeatedly. She scrambled to sit up, her heart pounding from the sudden disturbance. Squinting up through sleep-heavy eyes, she recognized the scowling face of the Sheriff looming above her.

“This ain’t a bed, boy,” the Sheriff grumbled. “You’d best find yourself somewhere to sleep where you’re not botherin’ honest folks.”

Jolene bit back a retort, knowing better than to mouth off while the Sheriff was still in a mood from the night before. Instead, she sighed and picked herself up, brushing the dust from her clothes. Without another word, she turned and trudged out of the alley, her stomach growling softly. Morning sunlight barely stretched across the street, and Jolene guessed it was still close to five in the morning. Too early even for the shopkeepers to start setting up.

With her thoughts drifting back to yesterday, she found herself absently fingering the coins in her pocket, feeling the remnants of the previous night’s meal warming her. It had been good to go to sleep feeling full, and for once, she had enough coin to make that feeling last a bit longer. She stifled a yawn and decided to head out toward the river. A quick wash would do her good, and the early hour meant she’d have some privacy.

The walk took her out past the town’s edge and along the riverbank, her worn boots leaving faint prints in the morning dew on the path. She followed the water until she reached her favorite secluded spot, where she could clean herself up away from prying eyes. Glancing around to make sure she was alone, Jolene stripped off her shirt and pants, exposing her feminine teenage figure, and setting them on the bank beside her boots. Only her necklace stayed on—a long, thin chain with a golden ring hanging from it. She always kept it hidden under her shirt, the one thing she’d never part with.

Wading into the cool water, she shivered as she scrubbed away the dirt from her arms and neck, then dunked her head, fingers scrubbing her scalp with determination. Days on the road and nights on the ground left her feeling grimy, and though the river water wasn’t exactly soap, it would at least rinse some of the dust away. Her fingers brushed the bruise on her jaw, still tender from the chubby man’s punch last night. She sucked in a sharp breath at the pain, her face darkening at the memory. But the water was cold, numbing the ache as she washed the dirt from her skin.

After a few minutes, she stepped out, water dripping from her lanky frame. She tugged her clothes back on, wet fabric sticking to her uncomfortably. The necklace glinted briefly as she tucked it back under her shirt, and she rubbed the ring absentmindedly before pulling her collar up over it. Feeling a bit refreshed, she started her walk back into town, taking the long way through the forest.

As she strolled, Jolene picked up a smooth stone and began flipping it in her hand. Her thoughts wandered to Dutch and Hosea, the strangers from last night. She wondered what sort of life they lived, drifting from town to town. They intrigued her, those men—confident, daring, unbothered by the rules she always found herself breaking. She felt a twinge of envy and wondered what it might be like to live that way, with nothing to lose.

The crunch of hooves on the forest path pulled her out of her thoughts. Glancing up, she saw two men on horseback approaching. They were deep in conversation, one of them speaking in low, annoyed tones. Jolene slowed her steps, curious.

“This ain’t how it works, you gotta stay, help her,” the larger man was saying, his voice gruff but steady.

The other man, younger with dark hair and an irritable expression, glared back. “Just keep to your own business,” he snapped, his tone sharp.

Jolene kept her head down, not wanting to draw too much attention, but as they passed, the larger man dipped his hat and muttered, “Good morning.”

Startled, Jolene gave a quick nod. “Mornin’,” she replied quietly, watching as they continued on, their voices fading as they disappeared down the trail. She wondered briefly who the “her” was they were talking about, but her curiosity quickly waned. In this town, everyone had secrets, and some things were better left unknown.

As she made her way back, Jolene debated what to do with her day. If she lingered in the forest, she could avoid trouble with the Sheriff. Sometimes she spent hours out here, crouching by the water, watching for fish, or tried carving small animals from wood scraps she picked up along the riverbank. The solitude wasn’t so bad—sometimes she even welcomed it.

A sudden rustle in the bushes made her freeze. She crouched instinctively, watching as a fox darted out onto the path, its bushy tail flicking behind it. It paused, eyeing her with as much curiosity as she felt, before bounding off into the trees. Jolene exhaled, feeling a strange peace in that brief encounter. It reminded her of how she felt last night, sitting across from Dutch and Hosea, eating warm food and feeling… almost seen.

Eventually, as the sun rose higher, she made her way back toward the edge of town, deciding she’d risk the streets a bit longer. It was quiet enough at this hour; most folks would still be at breakfast. Jolene wandered down an empty road, fingers tracing the coins in her pocket, as she kept her eyes peeled for any signs of trouble—or opportunity.

Jolene made her way to Johnson’s shop, already savoring the chance to pester the calm, steady shopkeeper. Johnson never raised his voice, not even when he caught Jolene slipping a piece of candy into her pocket or trying to haggle for half the price. The man had an endless well of patience, which only made Jolene want to test him all the more.

As she strolled into the shop, Jolene caught sight of the two men from before, standing by a shelf in quiet conversation. The taller one, the man with the black hat, glanced at her briefly, giving Jolene a small nod of acknowledgement before turning back to whatever he was inspecting on the shelf. Jolene nodded back, moving on toward the counter, where she leaned forward, her hands braced on the smooth wood as she peered over its edge, hoping for something new or interesting to catch her eye.

After a moment, she heard the familiar footsteps approaching. Johnson appeared from the back room, an eyebrow raised at seeing Jolene yet again. “What do you want now, kid?” he sighed, though a small, reluctant smile hinted at his amusement.

“Just checkin’ in,” Jolene said, grinning. “How you doin’ today, Mr. Johnson?”

Johnson shook his head with a long-suffering sigh. “If you’re that bored, why don’t you go on and bother the folks over at the church? I’m sure the sisters’d be happy to fill your head with a sermon or two.”

Jolene groaned, rolling her eyes dramatically. “They’re no fun. All they ever talk about is God and what’s proper and how ‘the good Lord is always watching.’” She slouched against the counter, hoping she might at least drag out a few more minutes of conversation. “Not my style.”

Johnson gave her a gentle shove toward the door, still chuckling. “Well, I’m too tired to be dealin’ with you right now, and unlike some folks, I actually got customers who pay.” He gestured toward the two men by the shelf, and Jolene, feigning offense, put a hand to her chest.

“Fine, fine, I’m goin’,” she muttered, putting on a show of reluctantly dragging her feet as she shuffled to the door. She could feel the eyes of the two strangers on her back as she left, their gaze lingering as though she were worth more than a passing glance. It sent a slight shiver down her spine, though she couldn’t say why.

Out on the street again, Jolene squinted up at the rising sun, considering her options. Johnson had been half-joking about the church, but the idea of a free meal and maybe a sip of wine to warm her belly made her mind up for her. Bread and wine, she thought, chuckling to herself as she crossed the street. She didn’t like the taste of the wine, really, but it made her feel grown up, in a way, and that was enough for now.

As she walked toward the little church on the edge of town, Jolene thought about God—or rather, about how she wasn’t sure she believed in Him, or any of it. Still, there was something about the place, the quiet hum of hymns, the light filtering through the dusty windows, that felt safe. And right now, that was all she needed.

Jolene pushed open the heavy church doors, letting the quiet hush of the sanctuary settle around her. Morning sunlight filtered through the stained-glass windows, casting patches of vibrant colors onto the wooden pews and stone floor. She looked around, taking in the rare peace, and saw Sister Amelia emerging from a back room. She had a kind face, framed by a white wimple, her expression softening as she spotted Jolene.

“Joel,” she greeted warmly, stepping closer. She ruffled her hair, eyeing her with an amused but gentle concern. “You don’t come by too often, do you? How are you doing, child?”

Jolene gave a small shrug, not quite meeting her eyes. “Been better,” she muttered, rubbing a hand over her bruised jaw absentmindedly.

Her brow furrowed as she leaned in to get a closer look at the purpled skin. “Looks like you’ve had a rough time,” she said, sighing. “Come on, say a prayer or two. The Lord listens, even when you don’t think He does.”

Jolene knew what this meant—a quick prayer, and she’d get some bread for her trouble. She nodded, heading toward the altar and dropping to her knees, muttering the only prayer she could remember. Satisfied, Sister Amelia watched her, a small smile tugging at her lips.

When she finished, she slumped back onto the pew, stretching out her legs a little. Sister Amelia gave a nod, pleased, then looked at her with a glimmer of encouragement.

“How about you step into the confessional while you’re here?” she offered, gesturing toward the wooden booth.

Jolene stiffened. “I, uh…don’t think I got much to say.”

But at that moment, Reverend Thomas appeared from the hallway, giving Jolene a warm, expectant look. “It never hurts, Joel,” he said, his voice gentle. “If you’re here, might as well. Come on now.”

With a reluctant sigh, Jolene trudged over and stepped into the confessional, the wooden seat creaking as she sat down. The small, cramped space was shadowed, with only the thin screen separating her from Reverend Thomas.

Jolene cleared his throat, feeling awkward. “Uh…bless me, Father, for I reckon I’ve sinned.”

The reverend’s voice was calm, inviting. “Go on, Joel.”

Jolene took a shaky breath, then the words tumbled out. “I steal a lot. I take from people ‘cause I don’t got anything. I lie all the time, too. Just…tryin’ to survive, y’know?”

There was a moment’s silence, then the reverend spoke. “And you feel like there’s no other way?”

Jolene’s voice was barely a whisper. “Ain’t nobody out there helpin’ me, Father. Gotta do it all on my own.”

The reverend’s voice softened. “Remember, child, even in the darkest times, the Lord is watching over you. He understands your struggles, and there’s always a chance to choose a better path.”

Jolene wasn’t entirely sure she believed that, but she nodded anyway, feeling oddly lighter for having said the words. She shuffled out of the confessional, where Sister Amelia waited with a small piece of bread. She took it eagerly, not bothering to ask for the wine she usually hoped for. The bread alone was a treat enough.

She sat in the back row, chewing the bread slowly as she gazed up at the colored light filtering through the stained glass, studying the way it painted the floor in patches of blue, red, and green.

A moment later, Sister Amelia walked over and sat down beside her, watching her with a gentle smile. “Something on your mind, Joel?”

Jolene shrugged. “Just lookin’ at the light, I guess. Pretty colors.”

They sat in a companionable silence, and then she said softly, “I need to fetch something from the ranch. Would you like to walk with me?”

Jolene’s eyes lit up at the thought of getting to look at the livestock. “Yeah, sure,” she said eagerly, stuffing the last of the bread into her mouth as they stood.

They walked side by side, the morning air fresh and the town just beginning to stir behind them. Jolene started talking, telling Sister Amelia with enthusiasm how she managed to evade people when they chased her, darting into alleyways, scaling fences, and slipping away into shadows before they could catch her. She enjoyed recounting it, her voice quick and animated as she described near-misses and the thrill of outsmarting grown-ups.

Sister Amelia listened patiently, smiling but also frowning slightly. “Quite the little escape artist, aren’t you?” she said, her tone amused but tinged with concern. “But Joel, you shouldn’t have to live like this. It’s no life for a child.”

She shrugged, trying to brush it off, but the Sisters words gave her pause. She looked at Jolene with a sad smile. “I’m sorry you’ve had to face so much hardship, child. No one should have to grow up alone.”

Jolene nodded, but said nothing.

She reached out and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “God has His plans, Joel. Sometimes life feels unfair, but remember, everything has its purpose. One day, all the challenges you’ve faced will lead you somewhere. You have to trust in that.”

She didn’t fully understand or belive that, but something in her words felt reassuring. They walked in silence for a while, Sister Amelia’s presence a steady comfort as they strolled through the quiet woods.

After two long hours of walking, they finally reached the small ranch on the other side of the forest. Jolene’s legs ached, but the sight of the sprawling fields, livestock, and warm sunlight brushing the landscape made her forget the stiffness in her limbs. Sister Amelia moved toward the ranch house, her long skirts swishing with each step, while Jolene lingered behind, her gaze roving over the faintly familiar surroundings.

She thought briefly about telling the sister about Dutch and Hosea, but something held her back. It felt like a secret she should keep to herself for now, so she stayed silent, watching as sister Amelia made her way toward the rancher and his wife, exchanging quiet greetings and a few words.

Nearby, Jolene spotted a group of pigs rooting around in the dirt. Their snorts and grunts filled the air, and she couldn’t help but grin at their comical faces and muddy snouts. They smelled terrible, a thick, earthy stink that even the open air couldn’t quite carry away, but she didn’t mind. She leaned on the fence, enjoying their silly little dance as they rolled around and nosed each other, completely oblivious to her.

After a while, Jolene moved to another pen, where a large horse stood still as a man crouched near its hooves, carefully lifting one to check its shoe. The horse was a beautiful, sleek bay with a coat that shone like polished wood in the sunlight. Jolene felt a tug in her chest as she watched the animal shift and nicker softly, its big brown eyes calm and gentle. Horses had always fascinated her, but she’d never had the chance to ride one. There was something about them—their power, their quiet strength—that made them seem like creatures from a different world, untamed but loyal, wild but willing.

The man tending to the horse looked up and noticed Jolene watching. “Like horses, kid?” he asked with a hint of a smile.

Jolene nodded, almost shyly, not wanting to seem too eager. “Yeah. I…never got to ride one, though.”

The man chuckled, patting the horse’s neck affectionately. “They’re somethin’ else, that’s for sure. This here’s Daisy, strong as any horse I’ve known.” He gave Daisy a pat, and she nickered softly in response.

Jolene took a tentative step closer leaning against the fence, feeling a thrill in her chest as the horse’s massive head turned toward her. “She’s real pretty,” she murmured just loud enough.

The rancher smiled, nodding his encouragement. “Come here, give her a pat. Just be gentle.”

Jolene quickly jumped over the fence and jogged over letting her fingers brush against Daisy’s nose, and she felt the warmth of her skin, the velvety softness beneath her fingertips. She could hardly believe it. She nuzzled her hand, and she couldn’t help but grin, a quiet, rare moment of wonder lighting up her face.

“You’ve got a way with animals, don’t ya?” the rancher said, watching the gentle exchange.

Jolene shrugged, her eyes still on Daisy. “I guess.”

Just then, Sister Amelia returned, a loaf of fresh bread and a jug of milk laid in her basket. She looked over at Jolene with a soft smile, seeing her reach out to the horse, and for a moment, she didn’t interrupt, watching the quiet moment unfold.

“Joel,” she called gently after a moment. She looked over, reluctantly pulling her hand back from the horse.

“Got everything we need?” she asked, a bit sheepish as she met the sisters gaze.

“All set,” she said, and together they turned back toward the forest, the morning shadows now stretching toward afternoon. But as they walked, Jolene kept glancing back over her shoulder, her mind lingering on the horse and the feeling of its warm, gentle breath against her hand.

As they walked back through the forest, Sister Amelia glanced over at Jolene, noticing the way her eyes sparkled with a lingering excitement. “Did you like that horse?” she asked, her voice warm and inviting.

Jolene nodded, her smile wide. “Yeah, she was real pretty. I always wanted to ride a horse, but I never got the chance.”

Sister Amelia smiled knowingly. “You’re still young, Joel. There’s plenty of time ahead for you. One day, I’m sure you’ll have the chance to ride.”

Her heart lifted a little at her words, feeling a flicker of hope. “You think so?”

“Absolutely,” she said, her voice gentle. “It’s important to dream, you know?”

“Dream?” she echoed, tilting her head slightly.

“Yes,” she said, looking thoughtfully ahead as they continued down the path. “What do you dream about? What do you wish for, beyond a warm bed and a full stomach?”

Jolene thought for a moment, her brow furrowing in concentration. She often wished for those basic things, for a place to call home and enough food to fill her belly. But something deeper tugged at her—a desire she couldn’t quite articulate. “I guess… I wish I had a family,” she admitted slowly, her voice barely above a whisper. “But that’s hard because I’m an orphan.”

Sister Amelia’s heart ached for her, but she smiled softly. “That’s understandable, Joel. Family is a precious thing. But what else? Something bigger, perhaps?”

She thought hard, her mind racing through fleeting images of her past—faces of people who had come and gone, the fleeting warmth of kindness, and the painful loneliness that sometimes enveloped her. “Maybe to fly?” she said unsure, but her voice gained a hint of excitement.

“Fly?” she asked, laughing lightly. “How do you mean?”

“Yeah,” she said, her enthusiasm building. “I just feel like birds are so free, especially the eagles. They can go so high, unbothered, just do whatever they want, go wherever they want.” She looked up at the sky, imagining the vast expanse above them, a world where worries and fears didn’t exist, where she could escape from the life she lived.

Sister Amelia chuckled at the innocence and honesty of her dream. “That’s a lovely thought, Joel. Flying does sound wonderful. The freedom of soaring through the sky, looking down at the world below. You’re right; eagles are magnificent creatures.”

“Yeah, they are!” she exclaimed, her excitement spilling over. “They can just glide and catch the wind. I wish I could do that.”

“Who knows?” Sister Amelia said thoughtfully, looking at her with encouragement. “Maybe one day you’ll find a way to make your dreams come true. You’re resourceful, and you have a good heart. That counts for a lot.”

Jolene felt a warmth spreading through her at the words. For the first time in a while, she felt seen and understood. “Thanks, Sister,” she said quietly, a small smile forming on her lips.

As they continued walking, the sun filtering through the leaves above, Jolene couldn’t shake the feeling of hope growing inside her. Perhaps one day she would indeed find a way to soar, to break free from the constraints of her life and reach for something greater. For now, she took comfort in the small moments, like sharing dreams with Sister Amelia under the dappled light of the forest.

[selfishpresley]

Masterlist!

Works In Progress: 21 (1 is a twilight fic)

Completed Works: 11 (and i'm proud of that, ok?)

All are on AO3, linked below!

updated as of: 10.26.24

Fem!Checo series — (Sergia 'Checo' Pérez)

Checo x Carola x Max [7 stories within]

Sergia "Checo" Pérez hates the media, loves her wife, and loves/hates her team.

In the darkness, hearts aglow — (Rosalía 'Manu' Marroquín - Rally Driver)

Charles Leclerc x woc!oc, Carlos Sainz x woc!oc

Her career started like this. Her first taste of the road started like that. If she had to choose a moment where her career began. It was under her father’s eye. ___________ Charles wasn't particularly religious. Not like his grandmother, but he could see the appeal when he saw the intense eyes of a young rally driver carving her name into motorsports history.

The Points That Matter — (Challengers!AU)

Checo Pérez x black!Reader x Max Verstappen

She knew in that final set that they understood. When neither boy would relent. When they asked her again after everything. She would admit, "It's like a dance. An intimate dance." An allegory to sex maybe. "You could never feel closer to a person until you're across from them."

Chestappen X Reader/OFC (left as reader but I have been referring to her as Tashi!Reader in my head)

venus as a boy — (sugar baby!Checo)

Checo Pérez x Max Verstappen

Sergio Pérez lives his life as a college student and a sugar baby that tries to cope with the fact that he can't race anymore for reasons known. With many past loves and potential sugar daddies, it's up to him to find his own footing in his life. Main: Chestappen, side checo x multi, minor Glance

like out of a film series -- (Cléo Sélène- fem!woc!OC)

Max Verstappen x woc!OC

French Opera-

As an assistant to Mexico's son, Formula 1 driver, Sergio 'Checo' Perez; Cléo navigates her own debut into the world of motorsports. All while falling for handsome man-whore drivers, gentle Spanish princes, and a very irritating Dutch a-hole. Contains: minor Charles x OC, and beginnings of Carlos x OC. Sequel is Baroque Opera.

Carlos Sainz x woc!OC

Baroque Opera-

In the wake of a devastating heartbreak at the hands of a Dutch manchild, Cléo finds herself falling for a Spanish driver this time. A man that seemed she was always meant to meet. As Checo's assistant and public relations secretary, she tries her hardest to hold onto her sanity and heart as Carlos tries to prove to her that she deserves to be loved. Sequel to French Opera.

Charles Leclerc x woc!OC

Un hombre busca una mujer.

Charles AU of French Opera continued from Chapter 18.

Mark Mateschitz x woc!OC

Empress

Cléo met Mark at the end of May. She, like everyone else, thought that Mark was working with the owner of the team. When she realizes that he's the heir of a very lucrative corporation, she'll have to navigate the media (for herself for once), the people around her, and her own shortcomings. An AU of French Opera.

The Spy Who Loved Me -- (Judith - spy!OC)

Sergio 'Checo' Pérez x spy!OC

Heaven or Las Vegas

He didn’t think it was stress when he spied a young woman dropping a small pill into a man's whiskey. And it definitely wasn’t stress when the man collapsed later that night clutching his chest. It was the first time that Sergio had seen someone die in front of him. And it was the first time that he saw the face of the killer.

Cuando Calienta El Sol/Hentai/Desafió

As Sergio has finished the season, he still kept on with his routine. Adamant that he build up strength, he forgot about the muscles that came with it. He gets to find out how much his partner appreciates the change in physique on their vacation. Can be a standalone but it was made with my spy x racer fic Heaven or Las Vegas.

Canned Heat -- (Omegaverse)

Carlos Sainz x woc!OC (Cléo Sélène)

Like a Tattoo by Sade 

Being a romantic was hard. Being an omega was hard, too. Both would be stupid. Finding her mate while she was craving donuts was stupid and lucky.

Lance Stroll x woc!OC (Beatrice Jones)

Le Temps D'amour

Lance Stroll already made his peace with never finding his mate. As he fell for the charming beta that presented for a sports network that he found himself watching more and more. Until her already lemonade-y scent shifted and everything fell into place.

Brooklyn Baby, Chelsea Girl -- Sugar Baby!reader or OC.

Susie Wolff x reader, Jenson Button x reader, Mark Webber x reader, Susie x Toto x Reader, multiple pairings.

Brooklyn Baby

A sugar baby gets involved with Australian driver, Mark Webber and gets caught up in his life as his dear friend and companion. She also cannot stop thinking about the older blonde woman that looks at her with hatred and disgust in her eyes because of her profession. Could be read as a Reader x Character due to the main character going unnamed. (Though this is a plot device on my end.) Includes Sebastian Vettel, Kimi Räikkönen, Sergio Pérez, Lewis Hamilton, Vicky Piria, Nico Rosberg in the pairings.

[m-oddinsdottir]

DARK COLD NIGHTS • 🐺🌙🐺🌙

John Marston x Fem!OC

Word Count: 1,706

Warnings: slightly angsty, wounds, blood, medical intervention

Summary: When Jude, the nurse of the gang, asks Arthur to search for her husband the least she had expected was him coming back with the injuries of a wolf attack.

A/N: English isn’t my first language so please feel free to correct me if something is wrong <3 (+ I haven’t been writing lately, this is the first thing I write in months)

Part Two. Masterlist

•••

The cold made her bones feel like small branches being torn off by the hooves of horses under their steps. It only seemed like yesterday when they were riding in a warmer climate, brown leaves falling behind them and a tolerable breeze that made her hair be pulled back revealing the wide smile that usually decorated Jude’s lips.

Now, that smile was long gone. Stuck on that wooden cabin over the snow filled mountains. Her cheeks red due to the cold and her hands rubbing together as she tried to warm herself up. Her body was wrapped around one of her husband’s coats, he had decided to give her the warmer one before leaving… Despite their previous fight and her cursing towards him, he had handed her the warmer coat.

Jude frowned as she pulled the coat closer to her body, trying to catch a hint of his scent. Two days. Two days had went by since John had left in a course that was supposed to last half a day. He was supposed to go north… But what if he had went farther? It wouldn’t be the first time John abandoned the gang. Now, he was married to her, yes but her heart couldn’t help but clench with fear at the mere thought.

Jude didn’t trust John.

It’s been like that for a while. Jude didn’t dare to admit it but deep down she knew the man hadn’t earned her trust. She loved him and even though he knew, he had left her… No, he had left them all for a year. Loyalty. The only virtue Dutch Van der Linden praised his gang to own. And the only virtue her now husband seemed to lack of.

May truth be told, Marston was on his knees for her the second he had got back to camp, her hand wrapped around his and his lips kissing her empty ring finger over and over… and over again. Asking for her hand in marriage.

She loved him and he loved her. It didn’t matter they had tried to bury those feelings under the snow before. Snow always melts.

And that’s why she had almost pleaded to Arthur for him to go look for John. And despite his reluctance, he had ended up agreeing. Arthur may not be keen for Marston but his wife occupied a special spot over his rotten heart and that’s the reason why he ended up agreeing.

Through the loud crying of Ms. Adler, Jude managed to hear two male voices calling out for help outside of the cabins. The girl picked up her lower skirts as she rushed outside, the sight and not the cold making her freeze. Her eyes observed as her husband was helped to dismount a horse.

A trail of crimson in the white snow lead her to his trembling form as the others helped him walk. His face… His face was bleeding out of multiple scratches a wild animal seemed to have pierced on his skin. A wolf, Jude supposed as she feared those weren’t his only wounds.

Her eyes quickly analyzed his frame, a visible wound over his elbow, face bleeding out and limping. ‘Bring him inside’ Jude commanded before quickly entering the room again, she rushed everyone to get out of the way before preparing a small bed for her to tend his wounds in.

Jude was considered the nurse of the gang. She had basic medical knowledge, thanks to her father being a doctor. Probably, the only thing Jude was grateful for regarding to that man. Usually, everyone reached out for her when it came to basic injuries like cuts but she had also tended to bullet wounds before. Now, she had to take care of her husband whose face has been ripped open.

Jude didn’t allow herself to even shiver when she began taking out her supplies and John was carefully placed on the small bed. She didn’t even look up to thank the people who had brought him inside but she smiled at them even though the smile didn’t reach her eyes.

With a groan, John moved his hand up to try and caress his wife’s cheek. ‘My love-’

‘You're a moron, John Marston.’ She interrupted him coldly however her face betrayed for a second her vulnerability as she struggled to thread the needle. ‘Lay down and don’t bother me’

A bitter laugh broke through Marston’s raspy voice and it made him wince with pain so Jude smirked triumphantly. ‘I love you too’ He answered back before he choked on a scream that threatened to leave his lips when she began to clean the wounds over his face. ‘Careful, woman! Goddamnit…’

Jude raised a brow at him as she continued to clean the cuts over his face. ‘I'll be careful when you stop being so damn reckless’

Her voice clearly showed her concern and her frustration as she began to try and thread the needle again. She quickly stood up to burn the needle over the fireplace to sterilize it before sitting down beside him again. John growled while he shifted again to be able to place one hand over her thigh reassuringly. However, he didn’t say a word as Jude approached the needle to his fresh wounds, she held the skin of his face close before making the first stitch. John squeezed her thigh with pain as he clenched his jaw.

‘It’ll be over soon, you’re probably going to pass out in a minute’ She mumbled under her breath, her face contorted with concentration as John’s eyes widened and looked up at her.

‘Pass-?! What do you mean pass out?’ His voice sounded gruffy in his attempt to not blur the words together. A small smile appeared over her lips as she moved her pinky up to brush his hair out of his face in a gentle gesture that made John close his eyes.

A gentle chuckle escaped her lips before she pierced his skin again with the needle. ‘Don't act all dramatic with me now, love. You’ve been through worse’

‘Can’t you at least be more gentle?!’ John snapped at her which made her raise a brow at him before she pierced his skin again.

‘Speak to me like that again and I will ask Arthur to bring you back to the cold mountain where he probably found you’ Jude responded in an almost teasing tone before he groaned and squeezed her thigh again.

After a few more stitches, the man passed out in her arms and she frowned with worry before putting a finger underneath his nose to feel his breathing. A shaky sigh escaped her lips before she continued tending to his wounds.

One tear escaped her eyes as she noticed the extent of the injuries and she damned herself for that, she wiped them away roughly in an attempt to clear her sight as she pierced his skin again with the needle. ‘Damn it’ Jude whispered.

She had tried to remain her composure while John was awake… But now, she was slowly beginning to loose it. Guilt run through her blood, clouding her senses and making her hands begin to tremble. She had supposed John had abandoned her, she had supposed he had run away after their fight, she had supposed he had left her alone… And all that time, he was alone in the cold, injured, waiting for the death to arrive and with a lighter coat. Because he had handed her the warmer coat… He and his damn stubbornness. Jude shivered and she pulled the blanket up over his body.

‘Ms. Marston…’

Jude didn’t bother looking up as she wiped her tears away again and made another stitch. ‘He's going to be alright if that's what you want to ask’ She stated before one of her tears fell over John’s face, wiping away some of the blood that still covered his features.

Noticing the way Jude had suddenly frozen, the person talked again, this time approaching her slightly. ‘I have some knowledge about taking care of animal inflicted wounds like this… You don’t have to do it’

Jude immediately looked up into the unknown’s eyes. She recognized him at the indigenous man that had joined the gang a few days ago… Charles? She believed that was his name.

‘I… It’s okay- I just…’ The long haired man shook his head before kneeling down next to her and gently grabbing the needle from her hands.

‘Please, allow me’ He just whispered before beginning to carefully finish some of the stitches around the wounds that needed them the most on John’s face.

Jude remained still as Charles helped taking care of her husband’s wounds. Her hands were shaking over her lap before she moved them slightly to brush them along John’s hair being careful not to move his head. After a few seconds, she stood up and checked on other wounds around his body… ‘These don’t need any help’ Jude informed to Charles with a strained voice before he hummed and she cleared her throat. ‘I… I’m worried about his eye’

Charles looked up at her before checking on his bloodied left eye. He separated his eyelids with his fingers to be able to look into it ‘I don’t see any scratches on the globe’ Charles just whispered back and she sighed softly before nodding.

The man handed the needle back to her when he was done and a gentle smile appeared over Jude’s lips. ‘Thanks’ She mumbled not daring to say his name in case she was wrong. ‘I'll… Uh, I'll just wrap him up’

Jude didn’t look back at Charles as he walked away handing her the needed space with her husband as she began to wrap a bandage around his head and specially into his left eye where she placed a few gauzes to soak up the blood. When she was done, Jude gently placed John’s head over her lap while she rested her back against the wooden wall.

All there was left to do was wait. Wait for her husband to wake up, wait for her to not be buried on her own guilt and wait… For them all to not die in the snow of the mountains.

[deathmybride]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ the craving | jack conroy *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

ship: Jack Conroy x fem!OC

warnings: mentions of death, brief description of healed frostbite

summary: Jack meets a musher girl on his first day in Alaska.

word count: 2826

a/n: I am actually extremely proud of this so I hope somebody reads it haha

Living in the Yukon, you get used to craving. You crave warmth, food that doesn’t come from a can, a bed with a real mattress and a roof over it, the sight of a fresh face and fresh conversation. I had been out there for nearly seven years by the time I met Jack Conroy, and nearing my seventeenth birthday too. I stood at the edge of our camp, watching the prospectors stumble out of the narrow passage at the top of the pass, like rats spewing from a drainpipe. He caught my eye then, beet-red and fresh of face, dressed warm, but not warm enough, his eyes glazed with exhaustion and wonder. He reminded me of myself the first time I climbed the Golden Staircase, back when snow still glittered like pixie dust, and my father’s promise of a gold seam to call our own didn’t ring hollow as the wind through an empty mine. I knew Conroy instantly; the mirror of his father, the man who raised me better than my own. I kept my head down as he looked around, knowing he was there for Alex, but not wanting to face it. The Yukon would turn that boy hard as ice before long, and I didn’t want to watch it happen.

As he traipsed over to us, I crossed my arms and glared at him. Go home, Conroy. I thought. Go shack up somewhere warm, and be happy. He didn’t look at me once, so consumed with his mission. I shielded my face and retreated to the tent. The coffin was easier to face than Alex breaking his heart. Despite my reluctance, I knew I would not have minded taking him on. There were few young people so far into the mountains, except the few kids at the Tlingit village along the trail, but we never stayed long enough to get to know them. The boy could become my companion, of sorts. We would take him north-west from Dyea to Klondike, then set him loose to find his way to the Conroy claim to spend a few months frantically digging into the hill; and go home colder, hungrier, and poorer in spirit. I wouldn’t even have to see it break him. Alex wasn’t like that. He was a pragmatist. He and Skunker knew how to mush, and they took me on because I was the best scout you’d ever need, thanks to my daddy’s training. This boy was a city slicker, and the best he could offer the team was a morale boost, and Skunker was already too cheerful for Alex’s liking. We couldn’t take him. He’d be a dead weight. I tried to close my ears to his charming, eager voice as he tried to butter up old Larson. Soon enough, Alex stepped into the tent and nodded for me to help him lift the coffin. I set my teeth and heaved it. ‘Heavy’ doesn’t begin to cut it.

“Who’s in there?” Conroy asked, puffing a white cloud as he tried to catch his breath.

“Name’s Dutch.” Alex caught my eye and nodded in acknowledgement. I said nothing.

As sweet as his cold, dead daddy, Jack Conroy helped me lift the box. He waffled on in a voice tense with effort, about maps and letters, and gold dust in an envelope his father sent him on his deathbed. My heart ached at the thought of kind old Scotty, dying alone in his claim with that grey lump of diphtheria in his throat. We found him frozen one winter a few years past, and I left a bundle of purple lupines on his grave. My eyes started to burn and something in my throat thickened as I finished tying up my corner of the sled. I pushed past Jack to tie his side. He stumbled, his shoes struggling for purchase on the packed snow. Wolfish fury passed over his face as he regained his footing, then he calmed and went back to pleading his case.

“Everybody finds a little gold dust.” Alex assured him. “That’s what keeps you digging. But you have to strike it, and your father didn’t. Go home and find a regular job. You wouldn’t last a day out here.”

Something odd happened then. I caught the boy’s eye, still glimmering with hope, and realised three nuggets of truth at once: one; this boy was no stranger to craving adventure, glory, and a namesake, but craving food, craving heat? He had never wanted for these things in his life. Two; he had that grit in his teeth that showed the true conviction of his words. He would try to journey to the Conroy claim, with or without our help. And three; I had never known craving until I craved him.

“I’m a good worker, and I just want what’s mine.” He insisted, his soft voice strained in earnest as he trailed Alex’s heels. “I’m asking you to give me a chance.”

“Skunker!” I slapped the old man’s feet, sending him thrashing into wakefulness. You better back me up here you stinkin’ old bastard.

“Damn, what is it?” He exclaimed, limbs flailing as he leapt to his feet. “Alex!” He breezed past both Jack and me, still dazed with one foot in a fancy. “I was dreaming you, me, and Dutch was livin’ it up in Frisco! ‘Lil Quinn at a real college, the works!”

“Get the dogs ready.” Alex said coldly. This was his way.

“I hope Dutch appreciates this ride.” Skunker bemoaned, ignoring Alex’s crotchety comment and making no attempt to hide his annoyance for my sake. I damn well agreed with him. “‘Cause you shoulda died at your digs!” He hit the coffin with his fist. “Saved us a trip back.”

“Are you going near my father’s claim?”

“Scott Conroy’s son!” I called after Skunker. He turned on his heels, a half sceptical look on his face.

“What? Lemme see that face, kid.” He got up in the boy’s face and grabbed him by the chin, inspecting him close with beady eyes. Jack held his breath against the smell. “My God, Alex, he’s the spittin’ image of his old man! And I knew ya pa well. Clarence Thurston.”

“Jack Conroy.” Skunker slapped him into a frenzied handshake.

“You throwin’ in with us?” I knew I could trust old Skunker to have my back. I didn’t even have to plead a case for him.

“Yeah, I’d like to.”

“No.” Alex said simply. I knew this wouldn’t be easy.

“No? You’re taking him with you and you’re not gonna take me? He looks half dead already!”

I giggled. The first laugh I’d had since my daddy kicked the bucket. I slapped a mitten over my mouth to hide it and slipped away to wake up the dogs while Skunker bartered some gum out of him as an apology. Our wheelers, Fritz and Fatty, stirred and wagged their tails as I ran my hands through their fur, whining and baring their teeth in greeting.

“Hey, don’t worry about him.” Skunker assured him, waking up Digger and George, our swing team. “He’s just tired, that’s all.”

“Yeah, or he knows there’s gold out there and wants it for himself.”

“Woah, boy! You got the harness on the wrong dog.”

“Conroy.” I spoke up, meeting his hostile stare and forcing a calm over my body despite how flustered I felt. “If there’s one man you can trust in this damn place it's Alex Larson.”

He scoffed, seeming to ignore my words entirely, and rounded on Alex.

“Listen, if you don’t wanna take me, I’ll go by myself. I’ll get rich by myself too.”

“I think he’s crazy enough to do it Alex!”

“Skunker’s right.” I left the wheelers and sidled up beside him. “The Yukon will swallow him whole, we gotta take him.”

“Quinn, we can’t take him just because you think he’s cute.” Alex put on a shit-eating grin and tapped my arm with his glove.

“It’s not jus’ that.” My face heated up, but I saw no sense in denying it if it was already that obvious. “He’s got a musher’s spirit in him, even if he is green as snow peas, and I don’t wanna find him dead in the woods come summer and know we killed him.”

“Come on, Alex, he’s Scott’s boy!” Thank you Skunker! “Look at him, huh? How much trouble could he be?”

He cast a final sceptical glance at Jack, but conceded. Skunker winked. I stared him down for a second, admiring the swoop of his dark blonde hair, then let my lips twitch into a curt smile.

“I’ll take you as far as Klondike. Fall behind, and I’ll leave you where you drop. Understand?” Alex was all talk, as usual. Even if he wasn’t, he would realise soon enough that leaving this boy in the snow would mean signing two death papers at the Klondike post office.

“Yes, sir.” Jack beamed. At the sight of his smile, I felt the craving stir again, paired with a healthy portion of despair. I knew a virile young man like that would never make do with a musher girl who had lived amongst men so long that she had nearly become one, and often felt more dog than person; but to travel beside him for a while would be a gift.

Alex retreated to the tent to nurse his regret, and Skunker went out to the tuck tent to get some minced meat for the dogs. I went back to playing with the pack, settling beside them and letting the six team dogs crowd around me and vie for my attention. Jack came to sit beside me, eying me as cautiously as the dogs. The thin, agouti bitch who laid at the edge of the group got to her paws and came to watch him with her ice blue eyes. Her body was relaxed, though she let out a deep rumble

“Connie.” She turned her ear to me, but kept her eyes hard on the boy. “He’s a fine boy, he won’t hurt me. He’s Scotty’s boy.” Her ear twitched back up at Scott’s name. “Heel, Connie.” She stepped over to me, eyes always trained on Jack. “Sit now, girl.” She did. I reached over and laid a hand on Jack’s shoulder, stroking it like I would a dog. “Now do the same to me.” His eyes flickered to me, hesitant, but he did as I said. Connie cocked her head, then pinned her ears back and wagged her tail. “See girl, he’s alright.”

“Can I touch her?” His voice was full of wonder.

“You have to ask her. Give her your fist. Gentle now.”

Slowly, he raised his fist to her. Their eyes met. Connie froze, and for a long moment I thought she might bite him, but then her body relaxed and she licked his hand, then his arm, and soon she had climbed all the way on top of him to lick his chops. He giggled and squirmed under her weight and collapsed onto his back.

“Connie! Settle down, girl, he ain’t for eatin’! I know he looks tasty.” I wrapped my arms around her middle and lifted her off him.

“Thank you,” He puffed, clambering off the snow. “Um…”

“Quinn.” Meeting his eyes was almost painful. They were so blue, like a clear day when the sky reflects on the snow so bright it’s almost blinding.

“Ah, thank you, Quinn.”

I looked away and stroked down Connie’s hackles. Setting my teeth together to keep from chattering. Nerves make the cold so much harder to bear.

“How’d a girl like you wind up out here?”

“You noticed, huh?” I raised my eyebrows. “Not many folks do these days. I got used to being called ‘son’ years ago, on account of my boyish charms.” To his credit, Jack chuckles, though I was sure that must have been the first joke I’d told anyone but Connie-dog. “Doesn’t help having a boy’s name, neither.”

“I think Quinn’s a fine name for a girl.” He said it earnestly enough that I managed to spare a glance at him. “And I knew you were a girl as soon as I saw you.” I said nothing, only squished some snow between my fingers to hide my squirming. I almost wished he hadn’t seen me at all. “‘Cause I’d never known a boy to be that pretty.”

“Now, Jack-” I started, my embarrassment trying hard to fester itself into anger. Well, ain’t you living proof to the contrary?

“It’s the truth!” He shifted closer to me, and I shifted away in return, bringing my knees up to my chest and pulling my scarf over my nose. “So how did you end up out here?”

“Mushin,’” I gave him a sidelong glance. “Been out here with my daddy since I’s ten. It’s how I make my living.”

“Who’s your da- your father, who is he?” His face reddened, making me giggle. I hid my face in my knees to cover it.

“Who’s my daddy?” I lean a little closer, enjoying being the one to make him squirm. “Well, he’s a fella by the name o’ Ysbrandt Maarschalkerweerd, but ain’t nobody this side the Atlantic can pronounce that, so they jus’ called him Dutch.”

“Oh.” He took a moment to digest it. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, that’s life.”

“I-I suppose?”

“It is. People just up and die out here sometimes.” I pushed away one of the team dogs from licking up my ear without checking who it was. “It’s not so bad.”

“You don’t miss him?”

“Not as much as I miss yours.” I admitted. “He was more of a father to me than my own ever was.”

“Really?” He leaned in, brow furrowed in contemplation.

“Yeah. He checked on me a lot, and one time- musta been about thirteen- I stayed with him at the claim for nearin’ six months while daddy and Skunker mushed supplies up to Nome. That’s when he bought Connie-dog for me. We went down to Klondike a fair bit to watch the fiddlers, see, and one time there’s a little boy sellin’ puppies. Turns out ol’ Colton’s lead bitch got knocked up by a wolf while they were out in the woods. Cost your daddy a whole dollar, but she’s been an asset ever since.”

“Wow.” He stroked the brindled fur between her eyes with reverence.

“It’s right we take you to Klondike. I think if you live an honest life out here- you stay true, you never rob, or hurt your dogs- your bones turn into a new gold seam when you die. Your pa never struck gold, but he might have made some for you.”

“Huh.” He looked thoughtful.

“Don’t let this place kill your kindness, Jack. You might leave some gold behind.”

“I won’t.” He noticed the scepticism on my face and added more emphatically: “I won’t.”

“How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

“Eighteen and still a green lil’ bean.” I shook my head. “You need better gear ‘n this. C’mon.”

He followed me dutifully to the sled where I dug around in my pack and produced my spare scarf, wool trapper hat that I usually wore under my coonskin, and a spare pair of fur cover-gloves to wear over his mittens.

“When you’re out in it, keep a scarf around your nose and mouth.” I pull the glove off my left hand with my teeth and show him the stub of my pinky finger, the missing tip on my index, and the hollow gouged into the pad at the base of my thumb. “‘Else you’ll lose ‘em like my fingers.” His eyes widened. “Wear these gloves over your mittens. I don’t have another coonskin, but you need more’n a baker’s cap to protect your ears. Tie it under your chin so it don’t blow off. You do that, you keep up with the sled, an’ you respect these dogs, and you’ll make it to Klondike with nothing missing.”

“Will they bite me?” He casted a nervous glance at the pack.

“No, but if you try anything abnormal I’ll bite you. They call me Dogtooth up at the Tlingit camp ‘cause a boy tried it on wi’ me and I bit square through his pecker.”

“Really?” He cringed, taking a step back.

“No.” I put my glove back on, smirking. “But you believed me, which gotta count for somethin.’”

“Did not!” 

“Did too!”

“Fightin’ already?” Skunker called out, hobbling along with two buckets full of fish.

“No, Skunker!” I waved him off. “Did too. Now come feed the puppies ‘fore they starve, get in their good graces.”

I turned to walk away, but Jack caught my shoulder and pushed himself flush against my back. I felt my heart quicken in that terrible, delicious rhythm as his lips brushed my ear. Every inch of me trembling with a craving like I had never felt.

“Did. Not.”

[sir-walton-goggins]

The Golden Prison

2,885 words

Arthur Morgan x fem OC

Summary: Arthur and Kris are invited to the party at the Mayor's house, where she finds some interesting secrets about Bronte and his entourage...

Warnings: strong language

The smell of raw vegetables and the vapor from the boiling water prickled at Kris’s nose, her eyes burning and watering as she split another large onion in half. She wiped her eye on her sleeve and kept chopping diligently, turning it horizontally and dicing it into tiny cubes for Pearson’s stew.

She was so absorbed in her kitchen duties, she didn’t hear the heavy footsteps parting the grass behind her and jumped out of her skin as two large hands cupped her waist.

“A-Arthur!” she protested, turning around to see her husband’s usual self-satisfied grin.

He chuckled softly. “A bit jumpy today, are we?” he buried his face in the crook of his wife’s neck and planted a few soft kisses on her naked skin. It was so hot and humid in the swamps, Kris had taken to wearing just her night chemise and a pair of roughed-up jeans around camp, leaving most of her neck and shoulders exposed to the open air. Arthur was as drawn to them as a mosquito to its next, bloody meal, biting the soft flesh gently.

The outlaw awkwardly stepped away from her as he noticed Pearson poking out of the corner, a savvy smile under his long mustache. Arthur blushed and turned his head away, fidgeting with his gun belt.

“Ah, love” the cook sighed dreamily, taking Kris’s cutting board from under her hands and walking to the boiling pot. “You’re free to go, miss. Thanks for the help.” He winked at her, making her smile.

She took her embarrassed husband’s hand, guiding him under the porch of the large plantation house that shielded them from the cruel rays of the midday sun.

“Where were you yesterday? You came in pretty late,” Kris inquired, vaguely remembering Arthur slipping in bed with her as she was deep into her sleep, his reassuring embrace enveloping her as he spooned her, smelling of grass and wet dirt.

Arthur leaned on the outer wall. “I was helping this creepy feller in town build his strange machine” he recounted, mildly amused. Kris exhaled. Somehow this wasn’t the weirdest sentence out of her partner’s mouth. He was always meeting the weirdest people on his journeys.

“What kind of machine?” she wondered, curious to hear yet another one of Arthur’s wacky stories.

“I dunno, some kind of electric… thing” he shook his head. “It apparently requires a whole lot of moonshine” he told Kris about the coach he stole and drove back into Saint Denis to this peculiar inventor.

She didn’t even have the time to process the information, when Dutch marched out of the front door with the most annoying pep in his step. That was always a tell-tale sign there was a scheme afoot.

“Arthur!” he exclaimed theatrically, decisively ignoring Kris. Morgan sighed, already foreseeing the next tedious task he was gonna assign him. Hosea walked over to them, holding the newspaper.

“Folks, ready to mingle with high society?” the older man asked with a malicious smile. Kris and Arthur felt the blood drain from their veins.

“So we’re really doing this?” Arthur asked dejectedly.

“Of course we are!” Dutch ordered, adjusting the collar of his coat as to mimic a rich, wide-bellied oil magnate. “Bronte so kindly invited us, we can’t be impolite guests in his town!” the man highlighted the word “his” with the most contemptuous emphasis, dripping sarcasm from every pore.

“Right, this is a perfect opportunity for us” Hosea echoed, putting a hand on Kris’s shoulder. “You coming with us?

Kris glanced at Arthur to gauge his stance. Usually, he was never too happy to have her out on dangerous missions, but this one seemed tranquil enough. Her husband nodded slightly, a thinly veiled melancholy in his gaze revealing he’d rather do anything than to participate in the Mayor’s party.

“Yeah, why not” Kris locked in her final answer, prompting the two gang leaders to walk to the stagecoach.

“Let’s get you both into your gowns then, Cinderellas!” Dutch laughed, gesturing towards Lenny, who jumped up and on the driving seat of the vehicle. Arthur sighed loudly as he followed along.

Hours later they were bathed, perfumed and dressed to the nines, making their grand entrance at the Mayor’s garden ball. Kris waved at Lenny, who tipped his hat to her. She was already bothered by the many layers of her blue dress, rustling and crinkling loudly in her ears and largely limiting her movements to the point she almost face planted on the cobbled road getting out of the ride. She felt like a stuffed doll.

“Hey, I know you’re miserable” Arthur whispered in her ear, “but you look beautiful tonight”.

Kris smiled. She examined his suit, which was tailor-made just for the occasion and fit him perfectly. “You too. You clean up well, Morgan” she murmured in his direction. Arthur bowed his head, a coy smile on his lips. Kris walked towards him and straightened his tilted bow tie, stealing a quick kiss.

“Hey, lovebirds” Bill’s mocking tone put a huge damper on their mood, “get your asses over here”.

They scrambled to reach the others to the front entrance, where a man named Luca asked them to deposit their weapons. One after the other, the men handed in their guns, while Kris stared at the servant seraphically, envisioning the backup knife safely tucked in her garter, underneath her dress. When she had shown it to Arthur, he had almost passed out from sheer arousal. She felt safer with it.

Once inside the house, they all revised their plan for the night: no stealing nor scheming, just keeping their eyes peeled for new contacts and job opportunities.

The crowd spread out in front of them like a baroque bouquet of expensive, exotic flowers: the women’s elegant gowns sparkled under the fairy lights, bright and colorful and evenly distributed as the dames quietly chatted next to their male companions.

“Lots of chickens to pluck here,” Kris remarked, already overwhelmed. Her ears filled up with classical music as they walked around the musicians playing in the small gazebo, plucking at the cords of their instruments masterfully. Noticing her stress signals, Arthur offered Kris his arm, reminding her he was there for her. She took it and stroked his forearm, grateful, grounding herself in her husband’s warmth and by feeling the fabric of his suit under her fingertips. It was soft and velvety to the touch.

She hated crowds. And gatherings. But she loved her husband more. Besides, the crook was a fellow expatriate from the Mediterranean, so her knowledge of Italian might’ve come in handy.

A butler guided the group to meet Bronte upstairs. The married couple looked around the place in total awe: everywhere there were lush plants from all over the globe, with big, weird shaped flowers and stems, electrical lighting powering the wall sconces, interiors enriched with exquisite decor, arches, paintings and winding corridors all over. That mansion could fit a whole small town in it, with its absurdly tall ceilings and field-wide halls. A faint smell of greenery and perfume lingered in the seemingly empty stairway.

“There they are, the angry cowboys!” the Italian greeted the small group, gesturing at them enthusiastically. Kris cringed internally, her stomach tightening in front of his serpentine smile. He immediately turned to his henchmen and made a demeaning comment on them in Italian, giving Kris the feeling she did good to come along.

The men all shook Bronte’s hand. When it was her turn, Bronte bowed slightly and kissed the back of her hand, maintaining eye contact the whole time.

Kris did her best to appear flattered, but inside she was screaming her head off at the unpleasantness of that snake’s wet lips on her skin. Arthur stood behind her, clenching his fists and biting his lip so hard it almost started bleeding.

The men were each handed a fine cigar, and one of Angelo’s goons offered her one of his premiums cigarettes, which she promptly accepted, desperately needing something to take the edge off. She slipped the cig between her lips, waiting for the feller to light it up in complete silence. The last thing she wanted was to blow her cover by exposing her very Italian accent.

Kris stood in the back side of the balcony, smoking and paying close attention to how Bronte addressed her partners in crime. While the men were talking business, she kept tally of every micro expression, look, gesture and movement that could give her a hint about Bronte’s real intentions. She believed he gave up Jack way too easily and welcomed a gang of country outlaws with a bit more warmth than you would expect from a local boss. The whole affair seemed suspicious.

Kris listened to him insulting the rest of the guests, loudly wishing they would die as he spoke freely and confident that nobody else would understand him, except for his lackeys, who roared in laughter at his every provocation. But when he turned his thinly veiled insults to Dutch, Arthur, Hosea and Bill, every muscle in Kris’s body tensed up, the effort to resist clapping back unbearable. Who the fuck did he think he was?! A goddamned reptile in an Italian suit, that’s what he was.

“So, what was your plan here?” Bronte asked them, a dark cloud falling over his features. Every trace of irony had been wiped from his face. The sudden shift in tone made even the silver-tongued Van Der Linde hesitate.

‘He’s showing his true colors’ Kris noted, witnessing her enemy’s mask slip off momentarily as a cold chill climbed up her spine, making her tremble. Angelo Bronte was a scary man.

Dutch confessed they needed more money. Bronte magnanimously pointed them towards the trolley station, which he said stored ‘tons of money, just what you need’. Kris didn’t like the way a couple of his lapdogs snickered between themselves.

Completely absorbed in their conversation, Kris didn’t notice her cigarette burning out. She winced in pain as it stung her fingers, emitting a hissing sound which made a couple of heads turn towards her. She threw the cigarette butt to the side and acted innocently. Arthur approached her, gently guiding her inside with a hand on the small of her back as the rest of the gang followed. Mocking comments in Italian erupted from the balcony.

“Okay people, time for the mingling” Dutch whispered, giving directions and specific tasks to each and everyone of them, except for Kris. She scoffed as he ignored her for the second time that day, and begrudgingly proposed to guard the second floor and spy on Bronte and his men.

“Sure, it’ll be good to keep an eye on them” he remarked, uninterested, as Arthur brushed his lips on her cheek, telling her to be careful.

“Always” Kris reassured her beau, making her way upstairs as silently as she could with those pesky heels on, while the men scattered and blended into the crowd, each with his own fake name (Albert Danielson? Really, Bill?) and task (Arthur went to chat with Henri Lemieux).

By some divine luck, the second floor hall was still unguarded. Kris shuffled next to the glass door, her back to the wall, peeking outside carefully. Loud screaming and coarse laughter dampened by the reinforced glass: they were still out there.

“Ma li avete visti, quei quattro buffoni!1” a tall, dark skinned man readjusted the many rings on his fingers, all of them made of gold and gemstones. “Quegli zotici non riconoscerebbero le buone maniere se li colpissero in faccia2” followed another one, a bald man as pale as sheet of paper.

‘I’m lucky Italians are so damn loud, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to hear anything through this glass’ Kris remarked, grateful that her evening was going according to plan.

“Bella trovata boss, quella di mandarli alla stazione del tram!3” one of Bronte’s personal guards sneered, patting him on the back. Kris’s heart skipped a beat and she froze against the wall.

Bronte shook his head, waving the comment off. “Ah, non ci vuole nulla con questi idioti. Ho preso in giro uomini ben più pericolosi…4 ” he snobbishly sipped his glass of red wine, unperturbed. He gestured for one of his lackeys to come closer and murmured something Kris couldn’t quite catch. She just about managed to make out “police” and “station”, but that was enough.

She needed to go downstairs. Now. Unfortunately, two sets of footsteps approached the glass door very fast and the staircase was way too far to make it.

‘Oh god, what do I do?’

The men entered the hall before she could finish the thought, footsteps booming in Kris’s ears to match her speeding heartbeat, a torturous cacophony of beating drums. She prayed to every god on earth that the curtain was covering her gown, or that they wouldn’t glance at it.

She peeked through the heavy, red fabric and when she saw the back of Bronte and his guard’s heads disappearing down the staircase, Kris exhaled in relief.

‘That was too damn close’ she reprimanded herself, trying to calm down. But it wasn’t over.

“Quella ragazza con loro… che ne pensate?5”

“Sembrava familiare, aveva tratti mediterranei...6”

Every muscle chained her into place and panic started seeping back into her soul.

Sounds of glasses clinking. Matches striking, cigars sizzling.

“Come mi piacerebbe farmela…7” said one of them who hadn’t spoken before, voice so putridly filled with lust it made Kris recoil in disgust. The remark was followed by a heap of obscene laughter.

“No davvero, secondo voi è italiana?8” asked baldy. A general buzz took ahold of the group.

“Diciamo a Bronte di rapirla? Potrebbe farci comodo una donna nella famiglia.9”

Horrified, Kris stumbled towards the stairs, tripping over her dress, losing her balance on the heels and almost falling over. God, why couldn’t she had worn a suit?

By some devilish misfortune, a guard was happening to come upstairs just as Kris was coming down, and he caught her right at the top of the stairs.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” the guard inquired, suspicious.

“I-I…” she stuttered, desperately thinking of a plan. She then loosened her legs and brought a hand to her forehead. “I’m not feeling well…” she mustered the weakest, girliest pitch of voice she could, and fell straight into the confused guard’s arms, pretending to faint.

The man called the servants, shouting for them to bring smelling salts and water as Kris bounced limply in his arms. She really hoped the gown hadn’t lifted to reveal her stashed knife, but her heart was completely stable, her pulse weak as a testament to what a good actress she was.

They laid her down on a sofa, putting a few cushions under her legs and the salts underneath her nose. She slowly opened her eyes, feigning disorientation.

“Oh, where am I?” she whined, touching her forehead.

“How are you feeling, ma’am?” the young girl servant asked her, scared beyond her mind and almost shaking. She must’ve been new there.

Kris slowly rose up, sitting on the fancy velvet couch, blinking lazily. “A bit better I think, thank you.”

“Marco went to fetch you some water, please stay seated, ma’am” she replied weakly, taking the pillows and scrambling back to the chambers.

As she waited for this Marco, the words she last heard the Bronte boys say made her head spin so violently, she thought she might faint for real this time. She had to warn Dutch and Arthur she could be in danger, and the gang was too. They had to act fast and, luckily, because of her, they now had the advantage.

“Here you go, ma’am” the guard handed her a glass of water. She thanked him warmly, and then threw the liquid behind the couch when he wasn’t looking. She wasn’t as stupid as to risk being drugged after what she had heard. Assuring Marco she was fine now, she marched outside searching for her companions.

She found them at the buffet table, quietly chatting about what they found. Arthur lit up when he saw her. Kris could see the worry in his eyes gradually dissipate as she came closer.

“Kris! We was about to start looking for you…” he hugged his wife tight, a weight lifted off his chest.

“You look so pale” he noticed, cupping her cheek and examining her from head to toe.

“I’m fine, Arthur” Kris brushed him off, still rattled by the last events. She turned towards Dutch:

“We need to talk.”

Dutch caught wind of the gravity in the young woman’s voice and nodded severely.

“We’re leaving, we’ll talk on the ride home.”

Notes (translation)

1 Get a load of those four buffoons!

2 Those oafs wouldn’t know good manners if they slapped them in the face.

3 Great idea boss, to send them over to the trolley station!

4 Ah, it’s too easy with these fools. I tricked much more dangerous men…

5 That girl with them… what do you think?

6 She looked familiar, she had Mediterranean traits…

7 How I would love to fuck her…

8 No really, do you think she’s Italian?

9 Should we ask Bronte to kidnap her? It could be useful to have a woman in our family.

[mentally-a-slut]

Hello!

I'm not new to tumblr by any means, but I am restarting my blog and (hopefully) keeping up with it. I've had many blogs in the past where I've written fics for different fandoms, but always ended up mass deleting them out of embarrassment. (Stupid of me, I know.)

But I am returning and instead of dedicating my blog to one specific fandom, I'm going to just ride with whatever hyper fixation I fall into. Right now, it's Baldur's Gate 3 and Red Dead Redemption 2.

I write for female readers, simply because I feel most comfortable doing so, and I love doing OC fics. I have a few long fics in the drafts that I'm working on that I may post if this blog gets enough interest with some OCs, so we shall see!

I will write fluff and smut, but there are some things I will not write. I don't really know exactly where I draw the line, at least not enough to explicitly list my yes and no's, so just be mindful of the fact that I have boundaries and that sometimes I'm not comfy writing certain things! Just use common sense and it should be fine.

I will not write for certain characters, simply because I either do not like them, or don't know how to write them yet. I can confidently say I will never write for Micah Bell, because that makes me severely uncomfy (sorry Miach simps!)

I'm not so sure about writing for Dutch, but if enough people are interested I might give it a go. I mostly write for Charles and Arthur (and yes, I will write them together with reader.) In fact, I'm working on a long fic rn that's poly Charthur x fem!OC, so if I ever finish that and anyone is interested, lmk!

For BG3, I'm mostly into Gale, but I will write for Astarion the best I can. I love Rolan as well, and would LOVE to see some requests for him. I'll try my best to write for multiple people, but I am specifically interested in certain characters, so sometimes I won't want to write for others.

Please send requests, and feel free to ask me questions! I'll likely write up some quick blurbs so y'all can get a feel for my writing style and decide if you're interested.

By the way, you can call me Azi, or Z!

Much love! <3

(I have started tagging my posts for better access. Any reblogs will be tagged with #azi's bs, fic recs will be tagged #azi's fic recs, and any original works of mine will be tagged #azi's creations.)

[outsders]

іᥒ𝗍r᥆ძᥙᥴ𝗍і᥆ᥒ ⍴᥆s𝗍

she/they/it ◞ sixteen ◞ dutch ◞ INTP-T

pansexual + aromantic/fictoromantic ◞ asd

main / yume blog : @ aftongf ( if I follow you / interact it's with this account .ᐟ )

ᥕіᥣᥣ ᥲᥒძ ᥕ᥆ᥒ'𝗍 ᥕrі𝗍ᥱ

will write :

gender neutral & fem reader

wlw/gl & m/f4a

chubby / plus size reader

autistic reader

fluff , crack & angst

scenarios , drabbles , oneshots

etc. might add more

won't write :

male reader & mlm/bl

smut / nsfw

cheating / infidelity themes

oc's or character x character

anything else im uncomfy with I will lyk

requests are always open ,, unless stated so here otherwise. I will get to them asap ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱

𝖿ᥲᥒძ᥆ms і ᥕrі𝗍ᥱ 𝖿᥆r

Five Night's At Freddy's :

Glamrock Freddy

Glamrock Chica

Roxanne Wolf

Montgomery Gator

Sundrop / Moondrop

William Afton (movie William)

Michael Afton (Mike Schmidt)

Vanessa / Vanny (Vanessa Shelly)

Carlton Burke

Charlotte Emily

Jessica

Glamrock Bonnie

Gregory (platonic ONLY)

Cassie (platonic ONLY)

Stray :

Momo

Doc

Clementine

Zbaltazar

Jacob

Seamus

Obey me! One master to rule them all :

Lucifer

Mammon

Leviathan

Satan

Asmodeus

Beelzebub

Belphegor

Diavolo

Luke (platonic ONLY)

Thirteen

Solomon

DC Universe :

Edward Nashton

Harley Quinn

Poison Ivy

Barbara Kean

Jerome Valeska

Jeremiah Valeska

My Hero Academia :

Katsuki Bakugou

Izuku Midoriya

Tamaki Amajiki

Kirishima Eijirou

Denki Kaminari

Ochaco Uraraka

Toga Himiko

Mina Ashido

Sally Face :

Sal Fisher

Larry Johnson

Ashley Campbell

+ possibly other characters / fandoms soon !

[seconds-not-decades]

Step {Back} In Time

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem! OC

Author's Note: Hello and welcome. This is my season two fic (and sequel to Time and Chase). I will be posting daily. *Please note that I am well aware that Elliot Page portrays Viktor, but due to season one being before his transition, that is why his character is still Vanya. I am not deadnaming him and I sincerely hope I don't come across as such. I will transition when I write season three.*

Warnings: cursing and violence.

Previous | Next

Valhalla

~ * ~

On April the 1st, 2019, the Earth was destroyed in a cataclysmic event.

Billions of people were wiped out in a matter of minutes.

Ironically, the seven survivors of the apocalypse were the very family members who brought it on.

~ * ~

Diego, Five, Karina, and Lila watched Sir Reginald's car disappear into the night.

"You know, I'm starting to get the feeling Dad's avoiding us," Five commented rather bitterly.

Lila sighed as she looked around. "Hate to be the boring one, guys, but, uh, it's time we get the hell out of here."

"When you say "we," who exactly are you referring to?" Five questioned in her wake.

"Not a lot of ambiguity in that sentence," Lila looked at him.

"Listen, I don't know who you are or where you came from, but whatever it is, I'd advise you return posthaste," Five snapped.

"She's right, Five. We gotta get outta here," Diego agreed.

"I just saved your life and your precious wife's life, you kinder-shit!" Lila was in disbelief. "If I hadn't stepped in, all that would be left of you is a blazer and some bloody socks and your wife would have been beaten to a bloody pulp with her pretty head split in two!" she was glaring him down.

"And that's the problem," Five bit out, grasping Karina protectively and supportively. "You're too good. You ask too many questions. You know too much."

"And you fight like you know what you're doing," Karina weakly added, coughing some.

"They've got a point," Diego admitted.

Lila scoffed in disbelief. "So I know how to handle myself, and that makes me the bad guy? Come on. Though she may have gotten bested a bit, Karina was holding her own pretty well."

"Leave Rina out of this," Five seethed. "Whoever you are, you're in our way. If I see you again, I will kill you."

Lila watched them walk past her and then once they were in the clear, Five blinked out with Karina back to Elliot's place to get her healed.

~ * ~

Luther was cooking eggs the next morning and the sun was shining. Five, Diego, and Karina looked as rested as could be.

"No, no, no, I don't understand. They keep following me," Diego was pacing.

"Wait, who?" Luther wanted to know.

"Those Dutch sociopaths."

"They're Swedish, you idiot," Five corrected him in exasperation. "Hired guns paid to eradicate us before we do any more damage to this timeline." He waved his cup of coffee around.

"Yeah, but why now? I mean, I'm-" he snapped his fingers aggressively as he continued, "Fine for three months until you two showed up!"

"Yeah, I was here for a year and no one messed with me," Luther added nonchalantly.

"Even if it was my fault-which it isn't- we only have six days before the end of the world, and the closest anyone's gotten to Dad was that driveway at the consulate," Five defended himself.

"Well…" Luther trailed off with a sigh. "That's not exactly true."

Everyone slowly turned to look at him.

"What do you mean?" Five questioned, stalking over to Diego's side.

"I saw him," Luther answered.

Luther recounted his story, starting with after he landed in the alley. He explained that he saw Sir Reginald once and took a bus to his home to see him, but Sir Reginald didn't recognize him and kicked him out. Then he came back to Dallas after that failed mission.

"That's pathetic," Diego commented, sitting across from Luther who was busily eating his eggs.

Luther scoffed, his mouth full. "Yeah, well, at least he didn't shank my ass."

Diego leaned forward. "No, bro, he shanked your heart."

Five and Karina looked at him in confusion and exasperation.

"Mm," Luther shoved another spoonful of eggs into his mouth.

"Is that my bathrobe?" Elliot pointed to him.

"No."

"Look, who cares what he shanked?" Five got everyone back on track. "He knows something about time travel."

Elliot raised his arm. "Um…wait, why don't you just do your thing and, uh, time travel us out?"

"Anyone care to explain?" Five scoffed, getting to his feet.

"First time he tried, he got lost in the apocalypse," Karina began.

"Second time, he ended up without hair on his balls," Diego continued.

"Last time I tried, I scattered my family across three years in Dallas, Texas, possibly triggering a doomsday," Five poured himself another cup of coffee and refilled Karina's cup of tea. "Any more questions, Elliott?"

"Uh, no," Elliot shook his head quickly.

"Sorry, you'll have to excuse him. He's the personification of an angry chihuahua," Karina told him casually, taking the cup of tea from Five.

"You're missing the big picture. Dad is the ringleader of a sinister cabal that's planning to kill the president," Diego told Luther.

"A cabal?" Luther had his mouth full again.

"Ignore him," Five cut in. "Look, the way I see it, we only have one option."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?" Luther wanted to know.

"It's time to get the Umbrella Academy back together," Five answered.

"Hell, yeah. Family meeting," Diego grinned.

"Okay then, can one of you get Allison, please?" Luther requested.

Diego glanced at him. "You two still a thing?"

Luther motioned with his head.

Diego leaned forward and whispered, "Do we need to talk?"

"No, she's married," Luther replied.

"Whoa. Dude, that's rough," Diego said.

"I can handle it," Luther sarcastically chuckled.

"Rina and I will get her," Five spoke up. "Can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?" he eyed him.

"I'll try."

Five nodded and blinked out with Karina.

~ * ~

Five, Karina, Allison, and Klaus entered the building from below.

"Hello?" Allison called out.

"Le petit mort, le petit mort," Klaus repeated himself.

Allison eyed him. "What? You don't speak French."

"It's "the little death"."

They both chatted indistinctly and Allison laughed as Diego, Luther, and Vanya came out from above.

"Oh, wow. Look at this old stuff," Klaus looked around at the TVs and radios. Everyone looked at one another in astonishment. "Oh, wow. I know this is impossible, but…did we all get sexier?" he asked.

Diego, Luther, and Vanya came down.

"Vanya," Allison went over to her with Karina.

Vanya smiled. "I can't believe I have another sister."

"I missed you."

"Thank God someone did," Vanya chuckled softly and they both chuckled before hugging it out. Allison grinned and pulled Karina into the hug.

Klaus grunted while he hugged Diego.

"Oh, you are drunk," Diego pulled back.

"Yeah. No, just a little. Just a few-oh, that's so sweet," Klaus saw Allison, Vanya, and Karina hugging.

He went over and flung his arms around the trio.

"No. Jesus!" Allison grunted and Vanya giggled.

"Hi," Vanya greeted.

"Hey, Vanny," Klaus returned.

"Klaus," Five spoke up as Karina rejoined his side. He softly smiled and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Is Ben here?"

"Oh, uh…no. No, unfortunately, ghosts can't time travel," Klaus lied airily.

"Are you kidding me?" Ben was sitting behind them.

"All right, then. Let's get down to business," Five went upstairs with Karina.

Klaus looked at Vanya. "So, Vanny, what's new?"

"Hey, Diego," Allison peered over at him, but he was going up the stairs. "Can't say hi to nobody?"

"Hi, Allison," he grumbled.

"What was that?" she prodded from her side of the staircase.

"Hi, Allison!" he yelled.

"Thank you!"

Everyone settled down, looking at Five, who was standing.

"All right. First off, I wanna say I'm sorry," he began. "I know I really screwed the pooch on this whole going-back-in-time-and-getting-stuck thing. But the real kick in the pants here is we brought the end of the world back here with us."

"Oh, my God, again?" Klaus complained, causing everyone to stare at him. "All of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the-oh, my God." He gasped dramatically. "My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five! Karina! I told them we had until 2019!"

"We have until Monday," Five sighed.

"We have six days," Karina added solemnly.

"Is it Vanya?" Klaus took a sip of his drink.

"Klaus!" Allison scolded him.

"What? It's usually Vanya."

"Do you have any leads, Five?" Vanya looked at him.

Diego handed him a file.

"Yeah, we have one," Five passed the file to Allison.

"Holy shit, is that Dad?" she asked, shocked.

"Yeah," Five nodded.

Vanya peered over. "That's him?"

"Standing on the grassy knoll," Diego put in.

"Diego and I have been trying to talk to Dad about what exactly this means," Five continued. "So far, we've got nothing."

"Not nothing," Diego disagreed. "He's planning to kill Kennedy."

"Maybe," Five remarked. "But we don't know who or what sets doomsday in motion. Could be Kennedy, could be something entirely independent."

"But if we know something changes the timeline, we have to make it right," Luther spoke up.

"Yeah, but how, if we don't know what's broken?" Allison pointed out.

Diego scoffed. "Come on. Do the math. We know Dad's having shady-ass meetings with some shady-ass people. We know he's on the grassy knoll in three days to kill the president. So I think we all know what we have to do."

"Find Dad," Five said at the same time as Diego said, "Kill Dad."

Everyone shot Diego a look.

"None of us are supposed to be here, right?" Vanya asked. "I mean, what if it's us? Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?"

There was a moment of silence as everyone exchanged a look.

"Diego's been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald," Luther shot.

"And you're working for Jack Ruby!" Diego shot back.

"Allison has been very involved in local politics," Klaus casually stated.

Allison whipped to glare at him. "Okay, you started a cult."

"Thank you!" Ben agreed.

"I'm…I'm just a…a nanny on a farm," Vanya admitted while Klaus growled and hissed at Allison like a cat.

"I don't have anything to do with all of that," Vanya said.

"Well, maybe you do, we just don't know it yet," Karina gently returned.

Diego whistled sharply. "Listen to yourselves. Everything in our new lives is connected to Kennedy. That can't be a coincidence," he began listing off, "Luther works for Ruby, Allison is protesting the government, Dad is on the grassy knoll, Klaus is…doing something weird and pervy but probably related. See, clearly, we were all sent back here for one special reason: saving John Fitzgerald Kennedy."

Here came the overlapping arguments. Five just stared at his family in regret and exasperation. Karina rolled her eyes at the bickering siblings, going over to Five's side. He wordlessly wrapped his arm around her, looking down as he lightly rapped his fingers against her ribcage. She watched the arguments continue as Five thought over the memories of the war he and Karina saw when they first landed here.

"Five? Five, are you there?" Karina's voice echoed and snapped him back to the present.

"This is bigger than all of us!" Diego exclaimed.

"Guys, you all die," Five interrupted the family, his grasp tightening around Karina's waist.

Everyone ceased their fighting and looked at him.

"Rina and I were there. We saw it," he continued solemnly, feeling his voice catch. "And I wanna forget it, but I can't. We saw Russian nukes vaporize the world with all of you in it…in a war that never happened until we brought it here."

"And Hazel gave his life to save us, so you may need to shut up and just listen to him," Karina spoke.

"I don't know if the things we've experienced here are all connected," Five sighed. "I don't know if there's a reason for everything. But Dad will. We need to talk to him before everyone and everything we know is dead."

"Okay, I'm out," Luther immediately shot to his feet with a sigh.

"Did you even hear us, Luther?" Five stared at him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. I heard a 58-year-old man who still wants his daddy to come and fix everything," Luther remarked. "Well, you can count me out. It's time we all grew the hell up."

"Luther!" Karina followed Luther out.

"Come back," Diego chased after him.

"Where you going?" Klaus asked.

"Save it, Diego," Luther snipped.

Five blinked out and reappeared in front of Luther. He sighed.

"No one leaves until we figure this out," Five told him.

Luther stared down at him for a second before he grabbed a fistful of Five's shirt and tossed him over the railing. He yelled and blinked out before he fell onto the floor.

"FIVE!" Karina shouted and shoved her way past the two. She whipped around to Luther angrily. "God, you are such an asshole! You try watching your family die twice and see how easy it is to try figuring out to save them and the world with a limited amount of days!"

Before Luther could react, she ran out of the building and rushed into the alleyway where Five was.

"Five, are you okay?" she asked him, checking him over briefly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine, love," he reassured her. "Jeez…when did the monkey learn to fight dirty?" he wrinkled his nose.

Suddenly a rock fell down near them and they looked up to see Lila on the roof, racing off and then appeared on the street.

"Son of a bitch," Five breathed out.

The two exchanged a look, glancing back at the building. Then the two raced off to track Lila down.

~ * ~

The two followed Lila to a seemingly old abandoned building.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Karina whispered to Five.

He sighed. "Well, we'll see how this goes first."

He blinked them inside to where Lila was. She turned around to face them.

"What's your game, crazy lady?" Five shot.

"Who cares? You said if you saw me again, you'd kill me," Lila sarcastically shot back. "I see you brought your back-up. How sweet."

"Oh, I remember," Five sarcastically said.

"Well, come on, big talker. Let's get this done."

"All right."

Five blinked to her other side and she punched him, knocking him to the ground with a grunt. Lila swung to kick Karina, but she ducked beneath her and slid past, watching her run off. Karina helped Five up as they ran after her.

Five blinked them out and in front of Lila before flipping around and kicking her across the face. Lila dodged punches and gave punches, alternating between the two. She kicked Five back and shoved Karina into a crate, taking off again.

The two scrambled to their feet and looked around.

Lila chuckled from behind them. "I'm waiting."

Five blinked them to her but, Lila was nowhere to be found.

She laughed when they whipped around to face her. He blinked to her again but she was gone. She was casually standing behind them again.

"Fed up yet, Five? Karina?" she arrogantly shot.

Five grabbed a nearby pole and blinked to where she was, smashing the pole against an electrical box.

Five turned as Lila kicked him down. Karina punched her and blocked her arm, uppercutting her in the stomach. Lila tried to kick Five, but Karina swung from below and knocked her leg out, making her fall on her back. Lila grunted when she landed and Five immediately stepped on her throat, making her  cry out. She grabbed his foot, fighting against him.

"You two are better than I thought," she wheezed out.

"And you are entirely average," Five shot back coldly. He clenched his jaw as Lila softly choked. "You can come out now," he called.

The one and only Handler appeared, her heels clacking menacingly on the floor. "Well done. You two figured it out."

"Well, it wasn't very hard," Karina coolly stated.

"She fights like every one of you Commission drones," Five added.

"Hmm," the Handler mused. "No matter, here we are. Together again. And you brought your darling wife, too, how sweet. I've gotta ask…did you miss me, you little shits?"

Lila coughed, laughing as Five and Karina death glared at The Handler.

~ * ~

[shittybundaskenyer]

✹ ▬   𝐖𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐇, 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒

rating: Explicit

pairing: Arthur Morgan x Stephanie Miller (Fem!OC)

summary:  Arthur and Stephanie mix like fire and kerosene—deadly and explosive. The only catch, they can’t stand each other. But when an almost perfectly executed robbery turns south, they have to work with each other in favor of evading the law and getting away with the money. 

warnings: violence, blood and scars, bank robbery, guns, smoking, unresolved sexual tension, rivals or whatever they are to lovers, Arthur and Steph being idiots, threatening lives, smut, (relatively) rough sex, low to neutral honor Arthur, pre-canon

word count: 8,359

a/n: In this story Steph has been part of the Van Der Linde gang since she was eighteen, she and Arthur had always been rivals but they had feelings for each other (they’re just stupid). The knife that makes an appearance was gifted to Steph by Hosea on a past robbery, the one Arthur mentions in this story. Anyway, please enjoy it guys, I spent too much time on writing this.

MASTERLIST    |    ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

1897

It's old family money. 

Tucked carefully away in the town bank behind metal bars and mean safes. It's perfect for a small heist. 

Or, it would be, if Dutch didn't send Stephanie with him. 

The town's main street is quiet, only the drunken singing and piano music bleeds onto the muddy cobblestones from the saloon. A few men sit at the storefronts, trading cigarettes and stories, not batting an eye at the foreign rider. There's a woman sweeping the porch at the gunsmith, a bit farther away a butcher letting his meat rot in the late afternoon sun. Arthur slows his mare to a slow trot, pats her on the neck. It's been a long ride from camp, and it felt even longer knowing Stephanie was tailing him. 

He tried to lose her when he could. Dug her heels into Boadicea's sides when he was hidden by trees or sharper turns in the road and galloped away. 

Sadly for him she's a real good tracker, and his destination was no secret either. 

He suppresses an annoyed groan when he hears her stallion cantering through the street, too soon, too goddamn soon. She slows him to a trot and her horse falls in step with Boadicea, greeting her with a small nicker. 

"You shoullda told Dutch you wanted a solo job," Stephanie huffs, a bit breathless, and turns towards Arthur, her cheeks rosy and her hair a right mess. 

"I told him," he groans and turns his mare towards a small patch of grass at the end of the main street where a few hitching posts stand. "Guess he couldn't stand you complainin' anymore."

"The last time I was on a job was the stagecoach robbery back in march," she stops and gets down from the saddle, pats her appaloosa on the neck and ties him to a post. Thankfully, she can't see Arthur rolling his eyes. "Grimshaw made me scrub my damn fingers off while I was washin' your stinky clothes. I can barely pull a trigger with them," she pouts, puts a hand over her jacket, just where her revolvers are hidden. Arthur sighs and does up the top two buttons of his worn duster coat. 

"Ya ready?" he turns towards her while he pulls up his gloves and pats his shoulder where the saddlebags are hidden under his coat. 

"I'm the distraction?" She almost grins and it twists something inside Arthur. Stephanie loves playing the damsel in distress; maybe because she ain't one. Jesus, she's the exact opposite. Tall, burly, fits just right into the gang, into the group of killers and robbers and no-good bastards. She makes his blood boil—and he doesn't know if it's the right kind of fire or not. 

She ignites the spark and Arthur burns. Always. Fuse and dynamite.

"Guess you are," he nods. 

They walk through the street and the mud feels like it could swallow him. The loud wet sounds that surround their every step echoes inside his mind. He's usually like this during a robbery: hyperaware of his surroundings, blood pumping fast in his ears and toes almost curling inside his boots. The presence of Stephanie just heightens those sensations. 

They hide behind a general store and he can just look through the windows of the bank from here. Perfect.

"Alright," she smiles again, puts a cigarette between her lips. She pats over her hair, trying to look somewhat decent. "Light this for me, will ya?" 

She leans closer to him, holding the cigarette between her teeth while Arthur fishes out a match from his pocket and lights it on the side of his boot. 

She puffs out two small clouds of smoke when the cigarette is lit, unbuttoning the top three buttons of her jacket. She doesn't have a décolletage like Karen, but hers will do the trick too. Men don't really care. Just gotta play the lost girl.

"Pinch here?" she points to a small patch of skin at the crook of her neck, under the ribbon she tied around her throat to hide her scars. 

Arthur hesitates because even though he could strangle her sometimes, he doesn't really want to hurt her. He carefully pulls away her jacket and shirt and does as she says, pinches the skin until it darkens into a deep red. Stephanie hisses and he feels just a little bit pleased with himself. 

"How do I look?" she asks, all hopeful, just like every time she's allowed to come on a heist—giddy like some one year old filly. 

"Like a desperate working girl," he shakes his head and she smacks his shoulder for the comment. 

Stephanie walks closer to the windows, tries to spot whoever is inside. 

"Looks like it's just the manager and a lawman," she smirks.

"It's our lucky day then."

Arthur has a good feeling, even though he wanted this job alone. Stephanie's a lot to handle, but when it comes to playing her part she does an excellent job. They always pulled off robberies successfully when they worked together. 

That doesn't mean they don't mix like kerosene and fire.

"Wait outside, I'm gonna take care of the lawman," she smiles and puts her half-burnt cigarette into Arthur's mouth to let him finish it. 

"Alright."

Arthur leans against the wall next to the bank's door, smoking Stephanie's cigarette that still got the taste of her lips on it. He tosses it into the mud. He can’t be distracted, not now. 

She enters the building, getting right into character with a painful sob, fake tears already forming in the corners of her eyes. Arthur shakes his head, nibbling on the edge of his bandana with his teeth, suppressing a small smirk. It would have been easier to send in Marston dressed as a lady, than Steph with that terrible fake crying of hers. 

Or, maybe not.

“Please Mister, help me! I got—I got… A man grabbed me, on the other side of the hotel, I barely escaped with my life and my decency!” Stephanie sputters, hiccups coloring her plea. The smile on Arthur’s face widens. 

“Alright Miss, calm down.” It’s the lawman or whoever he is. 

“Oh, no! No! What will I do now? I can’t go home like this! My husband, may God bless him, passed away last week and I’m with child and I—I can’t face my family like this,” Stephanie almost wails and Arthur hears rustling, steps. 

“Come, Miss. Sit down, breathe. Everything’s gonna be alright.” Arthur almost feels sorry for the man, especially when he hears them sitting down on something. Perfect. 

"Do you think it'll bruise badly Mister? I can't go home like this, what will my daddy say?"

"It's not that bad Ma'am."

Arthur hears more steps inside so he pulls up his bandana, reaches under the sides of his coat to grab his revolver and kicks open the bank’s door with a long exhale. 

The lawman’s facing Stephanie, still in a half-sitting position when Arthur puts the barrel of his gun to the man’s spine, cocking it and snarling under his mask. 

"But it's gonna turn real bad for ya Mister. Don't move, or the lady blows your head off.” His voice is deep, rumbling, like a predator and Steph smiles at him. She pulls out her own guns, pointing one at the lawman and one at the manager. 

“You can handle him darlin’?” Arthur’s grin reaches his eyes under the bandana and Steph nods, a bit too soon, too eager. 

He called her darlin’. Christ, he totally lost his mind. 

“‘Course.”

The manager tries to lock the iron door, fumbles with the key for a second and it’s enough for Arthur to kick on it, sending the handle straight into the man’s face. The manager’s glasses crack in, bending at the side and blood splatters along his thick mustache. Arthur probably broke his nose. 

He tries to pull a gun on the outlaw, but Arthur’s quicker and he grabs the manager’s wrist, twists it until the six shooter hits the tiled floor. He pulls the man to stand and pushes him towards the vault, eyes glinting dangerously sharp under the brim of his hat. 

"Open the goddamn vault!"

The manager staggers, wipes the blood from his nose with his free hand.

"I—I don't know the…"

Arthur shoves him against the door. 

"Don't give me your bullshit, open it or I'll put a bullet in ya!" 

"Alright!"

Arthur puts his gun against the other man’s nape and keeps it pressed there until the lock of the door clicks and it slides open. Three safes are inside, each of them locked. Arthur groans and drags the man with him, grabs him by the neck and presses him against the safe in the middle. "What's the combination?"

"I—I don't know,” the manager stutters, frightened. His toes barely touch the ground. 

"What do you mean you don't know?"

There’s no answer. 

The manager earns himself a bullet in the leg. He shouts, struggles in Arthur’s grasp, but he doesn’t say a word. Arthur can see the deep hate in the other man’s eyes, telling him that he’s a no-good bastard, an outlaw, a killer son of a bitch. 

So Arthur slams him against the safe, knocks him out cold. 

"Shit," Arthur grumbles. 

He fumbles with the lock for a little, but the street comes alive outside and the blood roars in his ears a little bit too loud. There’s no way he’s gonna crack these open like this. Not with the little time they got left before the law shows up. 

Speaking of the law...

Steph comes runnin', hair even a bigger mess than before, guns aimed at the door. Arthur wants to scream. 

Again. She did it again. 

He’s so gonna give Dutch a huge shit talk after this—if they don’t get themselves arrested, that is. 

"What happened?" Arthur hisses between his teeth, pulls down his bandana to catch some air. These goddamn summer afternoons make his skin crawl. 

"I took care of the lawman. He's knocked out," Steph answers with just a little bit of breathlessness in her voice. She watches the main door with too much attention. Arthur’s gut twists. 

He slams the grip of his gun against the safe, but it’s a fruitless effort. 

"Shit! It's not movin'."

Arthur’s furious. He tears open the buttons on his coat, puts his hands to his hips and looks at Steph. She rolls her eyes and comes closer, shoving him away by the shoulder.

"Step away, I have dynamite."

"Are you crazy?" Arthur whisper-shouts, but steps away, dragging the still bleeding fool of a manager into the other side of the room. He doesn't really care if the man lives or not, but seeing a blown up body is never good for his stomach.

"You have a better idea? Folks gonna notice anyway. One of them is already running for the sheriff," she says matter-of-factly, pulling out three dynamite sticks from the satchel she was hiding under her jacket until now. 

"What did you do?" Arthur snarls, props the manager's body against the far wall, hoping the sturdy desk in the middle of the room will protect him enough. Or not. 

"Guy came in, got a bit nervous. You know I have a meaner right hook than most men," Steph shrugs and puts the dynamite in place. "You have a match?"

"Jesus, Steph," Arthur wipes his sweaty forehead with the back of his palm and steps beside her, pulling out the last match from his coat pocket and shedding the too warm piece of clothing, dropping it onto the floor. "Alright, alright! I'm doin' it. Gimme that," he yanks away the fuse of the dynamite from her hand and strikes the match against the safe in front of him.

"Thank you!" She pats him on the shoulder and leaves the room, keeping an eye on the front door instead.

"And Dutch wonders why I never want to do a run with ya," Arthur mumbles, annoyed, and he retreats into the cover of the walls, too, waiting for the explosion.

And what an explosion it is! Few of the windows break, more of them crack in. The sound is deafening, but looks like it got the job done, after all. 

"Guess we gonna have to shoot our way out of here," Steph shouts for him when he steps back into the vault, already opening the saddlebags on his shoulder and stuffing them with money bills, jewelry and family heirlooms. 

"Shit."

"Arthur, hurry up!" 

"I'm almost done!" 

Arthur shoves the rest of the riches that remain into his satchel, all bags on him full to the brim. This is a real decent take, and if they manage to pull it off without getting arrested or dying—

"Come out of there!" The voice comes from outside. 

Great.

Arthur pulls back his bandana and the saddlebags, cocks his revolver and walks out into the main room.

"Get down!" Steph warns him, but the shots are already raining through the front windows. 

"How many?" 

"Five, one of them's the sheriff," Steph puts one of her guns into the corner of the window and blindfires, hoping to distract the outsiders enough so they can sneak through the door. "How do you wanna do this?"

"There’s a wagon outside for cover.”

So they run. 

Steph keeps firing, shoots one deputy in the shoulder. The man falls into the mud and Arthur can see her smirking. She’s really enjoying this, the sick woman. She wanted the shootout. 

Arthur’s back slams against the wagon and he reloads his weapon, aims at the sheriff. 

“I’m the sheriff of this town. You can’t escape, you’re outnumbered, so I suggest you give up now and maybe we try not to kill ya!” 

“I suggest you run before you all die,” shouts back Arthur, and to emphasize his words he shoots a deputy in the thigh, and another in the belly. “Now it’s a fair fight, Mister!”

“Goddamn thieving bastards!” comes the answer from the sheriff, all laced with venom and anger. “You won’t leave this town alive!”

He tries, he really does. 

A bullet whistles away next to Arthur’s ear, but it’s useless. He’s a gunslinger for a reason. They fire back when the sheriff reloads his revolver, and Steph takes down another deputy. 

“Hands up, and you’ll live, Mister!” Arthur points his gun at the sheriff, Stephanie helping him with her own six-shooter. 

“You shoot up my town, my deputies, and you think you have a say in this matter?” The sheriff is furious and he moves fast, but not fast enough. Steph takes him down with a bullet to the knee and the man falls onto the filthy cobblestones with a desperate cry. 

Arthur whistles for Boadicea and the horses come running while the streets fills with life again. The reinforcements arrive with galloping horses. 

Steph grabs the horn of her saddle, hangs onto her stallion until she can pull herself onto its back, heels already digging in, urging the horse to go even faster. She looks back above her shoulder, at Arthur who slings himself into his saddle just then, grabbing Boadicea’s reins and clicking his tongue. 

The chase is long, longer than any they were part of lately. The lawmen fire at them with rifles and revolvers, barely letting up before the bullets start rainin’ again. The horses almost pant, tiring out after a few miles of full speed running. 

"I knew it was a huge mistake letting you come," Arthur comes up to Steph, passing one of the saddlebags to her. She flings it over her stallion’s neck. 

"You ain't a saint either, Arthur.” There’s a serious look in her eyes and their gazes meet. It’s no for long though, they have to duck down when a bullet wheezes through between them. Boadicea neighs unhappily.

"This is on you, Steph!” 

"Oh shut up and ride," she rolls her eyes and fires back at the lawmen with her revolver, trying to at least scare their horses. 

Arthur pats Boadicea’s neck, murmurs her soft words to encourage her, but they have to stop or at least slow down soon or the horses will get hurt. 

The mountains near closer and closer, thick pine forests covering the land in every direction with steep hillsides and cliffs and slippery rocks. It’s perfect to hide. 

Arthur whistles to Steph to get her attention and he points her towards the trees with a wave of his hand. They have to hold back the horses a little, because evading the pines in a thick forest as this is even harder than evading the law. 

Arthur’s hand burns from the glove, his hair sweaty and messy under his hat. He pulls down his bandana when the deputies finally disappear from behind them. puffing out tired breaths and guiding his mare deeper into the woods, deep until the canopy over them seals together, until the low sunlight turns into a greyish-purple darkness. 

No gunshots have been ringing for a while now. 

They dismount at a small clearing where the treeline opens a bit. Arthur leaves the horses with the money bags and his satchel and hat to let them rest and graze. Steph finds a nice patch of bushes they can hide in—raspberry vines and oak saplings and Arthur flops down in the cover of them, into the patch of moss and bead of leaves that had fallen last autumn. It’s soft. Softer than any surface he has laid on in a very long time.

Steph unsheathes her knife and clutches it in her hand in case the deputies try to search the bushes nearby, but the threat never comes. The blade lays flat between her and Arthur, the sharpened bone edge facing her. Their chasers ride on, up towards the steeper terrain and they wait, until the sun dips behind the mountains, until the lawmen turn back and disappear in the evening darkness. 

"You always snap at me like you had never made a mistake in your sorry life," Steph’s voice is barely a whisper but it makes his blood boil all the same. 

Arthur turns towards her with a raging fire in his eyes and she has to swallow. He wants to punch her, wants to make her bleed. He wants to give her a headache as painful as she gave him. He wants to give her a blackeye to match his bruised knuckles, but he doesn’t act on it in the end. He’s not that asshole who punches women. 

So he turns away instead, and sighs. "Best we don't speak for a moment."

They lay like that, unmoving and their bodies dipping into the soft bed of fallen leaves and moss that damps their clothes and makes them stick to their skin uncomfortably. The knife's untouched, placed perfectly in the middle between them.

"I always wondered what it'd be like to kill ya," she murmurs and despite the harshness of the words, they have no real edge. 

Arthur just huffs, flicks away an annoying piece of dried leaf from his face. 

"Why haven't you tried?"

The question is honest, there's no hint of his usual sarcasm. Stephanie's gaze wanders to the blade where a dying stag and thorned rose vines are carved into the bone. Arthur's eyes follow hers.

"I wanted to. But folks was always 'round," she answers quietly and the low moonlight catches on the white of her teeth. They look sharp; canines of a snarling wolf. Arthur could swear even her pupils are glinting golden when a firefly buzzes away above them. 

"No one's here now."

He knows they're playing a dangerous game but he can't bring himself to stop. He wants to push her to her limits, wants to corner her, wants to watch her growl like a wild animal. He wants her to finally break, wants her, he wants, wants—

It's a dangerous, stupid challenge, but it's only one of many they've made during their time spent together. And most importantly, he knows she won't refuse. Can't. 

Arthur smirks but the smile is a fleeting thing. 

It turns into a breathy gasp as Stephanie rolls and grabs the blade off of the ground. She's on him already, pressing down on his chest with her full weight and holding the knife to his throat. Arthur is both frightened and mesmerized at the same time. 

"Goddamn you woman," he hisses and she presses the blade harder, nicking his skin.  She watches as a crimson drop of blood slips down the blade and finds rest on the carved dying stag. Arthur's hands fly to her wrists but she holds firm and steady and he can't pry her hands away that easily.

"Ain’t a soul ‘round here," she whispers, leaning close enough that her mouth almost touches his cheek. "Only me and you and this knife, Arthur."

"And what do you wanna do?"

He knows the law's long gone, that they ran back to whatever backwater little town they came from. Above Steph's shoulder the horses are visible, saddlebags full to the brim with money bills and gold and jewelry. He's not gonna die here. Not like this. Not by a hand that doesn't wanna kill him. 

Stephanie leans even closer, so close, her lips almost brush his and Arthur can't help it, he opens his own. He waits, and Steph draws closer, fits herself right above him and she quietly asks, "This okay?"

And Arthur's gone. 

He shakes off one of her hands from his arm with great force and presses his palm to her nape. He pulls her in, grabbing the hair there, not minding the blade still at his throat—albeit not pressing now—and their lips finally touch. 

It's so hungry Arthur can't even decide which one of them opens up sooner, he just feels Stephanie exploring him, tasting him, kissing with so much pent up passion that their teeth clink. She's wild like this and Arthur almost wants to bite into her lip and draw blood. 

He doesn't know if they're still fighting or this is something else completely. He twists his hand in her hair, enjoys her groan on his lips anyway. 

Steph lowers the knife and puts it carefully down in the moss next to his head—a patch of white clovers are blooming there. She leans on that hand and lowers her body fully onto his. Arthur groans into their kiss, lets her know he really enjoys feeling her like this, close and heavy and warm and soft. 

He twists his hand in her hair again, makes her pull away with a shuddering breath. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothin', just wanna see ya like this," he murmurs, tilts her head back and plants a kiss on her exposed neck where the scars are still prominent and puckered. Stephanie scrambles for a moment, then she grabs his throat and squeezes, right until Arthur's breath hitches. 

His eyes are hazy, pupils blown wide and his hair is full of little leaves and moss and dirt. A blush creeps up his neck, taints his face a deep rosy red. Stephanie's lips almost open around a moan. 

They stare at each other for a few seconds until Arthur releases her hair, makes his hand settle on the small of her back instead while the other slides down too, grabbing into her thigh. Steph's hold loosens on him and she drops her head into the crook of his neck, kisses a small patch of skin there, and then bites. 

Arthur squeezes her tighter. 

"Steph?"

"Hm?"

"What do you want from all this?" he asks quietly, unsure, even though she still kisses and nips on his skin like only lovers do. Christ. 

"Wanna feel good. With you," when she looks up at him there's a haziness in her eyes, a fire burning low and hot and he doesn't know if he wants to get scorched. 

Arthur's still drunk on the thrill of the heist but he feels mesmerized for an entirely different reason. Steph smiles into the space where his neck meets his shoulder and presses her thumb to his throat, grins winder when she feels him swallow. 

Jesus, he wants her to burn him. Brand him, mark him like ranchers do with cattle. He wants to feel her, even after the sun came up and the week passed. 

So he pushes his hand into her hair again and pulls her into another bruising kiss. It's Stephanie's turn to be breathless. Arthur forces her lips open, licks into her mouth and she's lost. His touch turns firmer, grabs her with intent and need and she lets him, urges him even with quiet sighs and hastening kisses. 

When she pulls away Arthur’s teeth still keep her bottom lip trapped between them for a second. He looks at her with a different kind of fire in his eyes, all dark and raging sea and the moonlight flashes in his dilated pupils like lightning during a midnight storm. 

He rakes his hand through her hair, fists it higher, at her scalp where the touch is most welcome. 

She grabs his collar, pops open the top two buttons, fumbling, but still quicker than Arthur's other hand that reaches for her wrist to stop her. 

“You wanna stop?" she asks, her voice sweetened and quiet.

"No, I jus'... I just don't want you to do somethin' you'll regret."

"I won't, Arthur— Jesus, I won't." She's so breathless the words come out raspy. "I want you."

"Christ, Steph," his breath hitches and he squeezes her tighter to him, arms curling around her back and waist until there's no space left between them. "You sure?"

"'Course," she kisses him again, all tongue and teeth, and pries his shirt even more open, just to feel over his chest with a weathered hand. She seeks his heart, he realizes, but it's hers already, she just doesn't know yet. Hell, he would cut his chest open just to carve it out and place it in her palm. 

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Arthur pulls the hem of her shirt upwards, finds her completely bare underneath. He kneads the soft flesh that is revealed and she moans into their kiss. 

"You was still sweet on Mary, I didn't wanna ask."

Arthur literally growls, grabs her by the hips and at the top of her spine and they turn. She lets him settle between her opened legs, lets him pull them apart even further until they're like stretched out butterfly-wings. The forest-floor is soft under her, damp and mossy. It doesn't matter.

"I don't wanna think about her," he pecks her lips and bucks his hips into hers and oh, he's getting harder with every touch—the jeans getting uncomfortable and the gun-belt a literal torture. "All this time," he rasps and pesses open-mouthed kisses down her neck. "All them years you was sweet on me and didn't say a thing?"

"I was not sweet on you," she answers in one breath, grinds her hips into his to seek that gorgeous friction. Arthur aches. "Not until that robbery down west." 

"That was two years ago."

Arthur pulls her thighs even more open, guides them higher on his waist and she shudders into their next, barely-there kiss.

"I wish I was less of a coward," he mumbles, his lips shying away for a second to breathe a wordless apology onto her cheek. 

"What, you wanted me too?" 

"Sometimes I wanted to kill ya, and sometimes… Sometimes I wanted you screamin'," he's quick with his words and quicker with his hand even more, unbuttoning the top buttons of her shirt until he can slide a hand over one small breast. 

"What kind of screamin'?"

He grins, and pulls his smile over her throat. He could bite there, on the ragged scars—on the memories of her brief romances with the hangman's noose. But he doesn't. He just kisses them, pulls away the neck of her shirt instead, and sucks a bite into the tender skin just above one barely visible collarbone. 

"The lovemakin' kind."

An obscene sound gets trapped in Stephanie's throat, and Arthur answers her with a buck of his hips; his wandering hand sliding over her thigh and grabbing one leather boot. The spur clinks as he tugs the boot down, tosses it into the mossy bed of leaves near the forgotten knife. 

His kisses turn into sucks and nips on her neck, making another kind of necklace around it. It's not made of pearls or fleshy scars of past hangings—they're love-bites, still flesh and blood and skin, just prettier. 

Steph grabs his hair again, turns him away when he blows a hot breath over the fifth bite. Arthur smiles, more with his eyes than his lips and lets her do the same to him—to kiss and nip and bite, to mark him like he wanted to.

While she's distracted like that, Arthur undoes the buttons on her jeans and pushes her gun belt higher, to her belly. 

"Wanna stop?" he asks with his hands lingering at the waistband of her pants. 

"No!" It's almost a whine.

Arthur's smile widens into a grin as he eases her legs down from around his hips. They manage to pull down one pant leg and half of her bloomers, but the rest hangs around her other calf, wrinkled over the boot that is still on her foot. 

It doesn't matter. 

Arthur's palm curls around her mound and his fingers come away wet. 

Stephanie moans into his neck from the barest of touches. He presses two fingers to her again, coats them in her wetness and guides them down to her opening, not sliding in yet, waiting for another reassuring gesture. 

"Don't toy with me Arthur," she hisses and shivers when one finger presses inside, followed shortly by another. 

"I'm not playin' darlin'. Just makin' sure." 

She reaches down for his pants, manages to push off his suspenders and toss away his gun belt, but her movements are halted when he acts on his promise and thrust his fingers deep. Steph trembles, scrambles with her hand to try and grip something solid. It's a fruitless effort, but Arthur catches one of her hands in his, entwines their fingers together and pushes it into the damp moss.

"Jesus Christ, Arthur." 

He curls his fingers inside her and her leg starts to shake. 

Steph's fingers are at his jeans again, and this time she manages to unbutton it, their hands bumping into each other between her thighs. Arthur groans, pushes into her more urgently while she finally pulls down his pants enough to free his aching erection. 

It's his time to tremble. 

"Steph—," he mutters into one gentler kiss, a high contrast to his mercilessly pumping fingers. Stephanie moans and sighs over and over, not bothered with keeping quiet. Arthur wishes he could draw her sounds so he could collect them in his journal and remember them forever. 

She strokes him, a bit fumbling at first, but she has goddamn clever fingers, trained quick on the trigger of a revolver, and Arthur wants to howl. 

"That's it darlin'," Arthur praises, peppers her lips with barely-there kisses. He curls his fingers again, enjoys the breathless gasps that slip out of her mouth. "So pretty and wet for me."

She groans and releases his cock in favor of grabbing his hand instead, pulling it away until he rests his palm on her inner thigh, smearing her wetness on it.

"C'mon Arthur!"

“You sure?” His hand digs into her thigh, and the other wraps around her nape, all gentlelike, and he touches his forehead to hers for a few seconds. 

“Yes! Yes, Arthur—” she pants, brings her fingers to his mouth. They’re slick with his own precome, but he doesn’t mind when she pushes them past his lips and makes him coat them with saliva. “C’mon…”

“Alright… Goddammit, alright, jus’—” Arthur looks down, where her hips cradle his own. There’s not much to be seen from all of their clothes, but just enough to make his throat go dry and his guts catch on fire. “Alright.”

Steph slicks him up with his own saliva and the wetness on her mound to ease his way. He wants to scream. 

All this closeness… It feels so real, so good it makes the things under his ribcage ache. It’s a good kind of pain, like the relieved shaky breaths after crying. He never wanted something this much. Never was this afraid of something either. 

She guides him to her entrance and Arthur’s vision whites out for a heartbeat. 

He pushes in slowly, captures her lips in a bruising kiss. Stephanie whimpers into his mouth while her hands fly to his shoulders and back, fingers digging in until pleasure turns into pain. She tenses at his grunt, clenches around him and shakes.

He stops then, leans back to look at her proper. 

"Alright?" he asks softly, nuzzling her cheek and raising his hand to her temple, gently brushing away strands of sweaty hair that already sticks to her skin. 

"It's just—It's big," Steph is breathless, almost overwhelmed and Arthur's chest aches with concern. "Feels good though."

He’s fully inside but doesn’t dare to move. He lets her adjust and waits until the hot tightness of her doesn’t wanna crush him anymore. 

"Have you ever done this before?" 

Stephanie swallows, averts her gaze and her cheeks flush an even rosier color.

"No."

The air wheezes out of Arthur before he could stop it. "Shit." 

He looks down at her apologetically, the fire in his eyes turning softer. He caresses her jawline and pushes back her fringe from her forehead. 

"Jesus, Steph, you shouldda told me that," he leans down, buries his face in the crook of her neck to kiss and nip and lick, just to distract her from the stretch. "Am I hurtin' you?" 

He can feel her shaking her head and she pulls his head back by his hair, waits for him with opened lips. He kisses her, soft and warm and sweet, nothing like before, trying to ask for forgiveness even though she moans when he shifts inside her a little. 

"Feels good. Don't stop Arthur, please." 

The next one's louder, damn music to his ears, and his heart skips a few beats when he finally starts to move and a beautiful string of sighs tumble out of her throat. 

Steph still holds him close, her hands snaked around his shoulders and she tightens her hold on him when he kisses her again, more urgent this time. She licks into his mouth, just a little, but it's enough to turn him stupid. 

When the stretch isn't as burning as before, Stephanie raises her hips up, meets him in the middle of a harder thrust. Arthur's struck and his open mouth slides over her cheek, down into the crook of her neck where he can muffle a too-loud groan.

"Sweetheart—" he mumbles, reaches for her thigh to cradle it tighter around his hip. Step's legs are thick and heavy and wonderful wrapped around him, and they tremble when one of his hands snake down between their bodies to pleasure her with his fingers too. 

"Ah—Arthur—," she grabs his hair, yanks his face back to hers a bit too harshly, kisses him with a renewed fire and hunger he never felt before. 

There's a burn inside him, spreading like he had touched hot embers and let them light up his clothes. Every vein, every muscle inside him sings and aches for her, with her, and he realizes that this is that insatiable hunger he always felt before. That hunger he ignored and suppressed and hated until he couldn't contain it anymore. 

Steph kisses him again, pulls on his hair like they would be fighting still. Arthur growls into her mouth, presses his fingers harder on her clit until she pulls back her lips with a gasp, shaking and coming hard on his cock. "Ar-Arthur. Shit—"

The hunger inside him feeds on that, on the beautiful way her lips part, on the way her eyes get all hazy and dreamy-like, on the way she squeezes him, keeps him deep inside until she can finally suck in another breath.

"Yeah, there you go." 

"Jesus, that's—That was so good," she pants, almost grins, and Arthur's stomach fills with desperately flapping butterflies. 

He thrusts into her again, shallow but harder this time and he knows he's not gonna last. Not like this.

"Arthur," she pulls his hair, to bring his face closer so she can whisper her words onto his lips. "Arthur. Don't hold back. Please?"

"I just wanna make sure you'll be able to sit in a saddle tomorrow."

Stephanie hits his shoulder and he actually chuckles, then kisses her to apologize.

"I don't care. Please," she's clinging to him, meeting his thrusts with her hips, so eager Arthur is still surprised she never had done this. 

"You're gonna curse me to hell," another kiss, this time above her pulse. He slides a hand over her breast, strokes the curve of it with one thumb through her shirt. 

"Ya sound like a coward," she grins, again, and Arthur's done.

"I didn't think that sweet mouth o' yours is gonna run this much..."

"Gonna shut it for me?"

"I ain't sure."

"Arthur!"

"Kiss me, for Christ's sake." 

And she does. 

They end up even more tangled in each other than they were, with Stephanie's heels—one still in her boot, one bare—pressing into his thighs, her hands all over him, greedy to touch, to caress. 

Arthur's greedy too. He steals kisses like jewelry from around rich folks' necks. Grabs the soft parts of her, leaves his fingerprints there in forms of heat and fire and maybe bruises too. His movements turn needy, fast and hard, but she doesn't complain. She wants him like this—let loose like a mustang, free like only broken men can be free. The fire from his belly spreads and burns right through him, bleeds into her veins, ducks under her skin to combine into a coupled inferno. 

She lifts her hips more, allows him even deeper. 

"C'mon Arthur," it's only a whisper, breathless and so pretty Arthur can't see straight. "I'm not gonna break."

A far gentle caress on his nape and that's all it takes. He pushes her down, lays a hand flat between her breasts as he leans back, glances down to the space where he presses into her. The hair on his navel is wet. She's flushed, eyes barely open, her soft belly visible under her shirt, and Arthur can't hold back his sounds anymore. 

She tangles her fingers with his, pulls him back on top of her, flush until there's not a breath of distance between them, and then he moves.

Arthur fills her mercilessly, taking and taking, so lost in the beautiful warmth of her he almost faints. The metal parts clink on her gun belt with every movement, drowning the messy rhythm of his heart. His ribcage feels so tight he wants to rip it open, wants to dig up space for her to crawl inside. 

"That's it cowboy," she murmurs onto his lips, kisses him soft and proper, like lovers do—and they're making love, he realizes, souls stripped bare and hearts laid out into the moonlight.

For all his sins, for all the killings and robberies, this heaven is not deserved. He wants to tell her this, wants to apologize, wants to wash away those crimes, but Steph just looks up at him and she knows. The same blood sticks to her hands, the same stolen money is in her pockets. She's no high society lady, she's no vulnerable woman. She's killed and she never tried to hide it.

She still wants him like this.

His lips dip to her neck, where the scars are and he kisses her there, lets the loud snaps of their hips meeting drown the shaky sounds of his breaths. He thinks he loves her, always did. 

Steph clings to him until his thrusts become too much and not enough. Arthur can feel her end nearing, and his own too. It was never meant to last long, not the way they hastily move, not with this fast give and take. He can't have his chest open for too long, can't be vulnerable for hours. 

He's afraid, but she somehow senses it and soothes him with a comforting kiss, nothing like the ones before. Now he understands what it means to be loved back. 

Arthur's hand slides between her legs, urging her on until she's trembling, coming around him a second time. 

He kisses her once more, long and deep, and then she's empty, clenching around nothing when Arthur pulls out and spends himself on the fallen leaves and the moss underneath with a broken moan. 

Steph watches him, how his eyes go all half-lidded, how his chest flushes red under his opened collar, how his hand remains on her thigh, squeezing, just to ground him to reality. She's never seen a prettier sight than him on his knees, cradled by her legs, all breathless and blushin'.

Arthur's eyes slowly open, all dark in the absence of the moonlight. He's vulnerable like this—cut open like a wound, still bleeding secrets and wants. It's her job to tend to it, to reach for him and pull him back onto her body. 

He falls, and just barely catches himself on his elbows. Steph is warm, soft under him and he nuzzles her cheek, seeking a gentle kiss after. She gives him that and even more, pulling him into her embrace and carding her fingers through his sweaty hair. A lonely thunder booms in the distance but it still can't drown out the rapid beating of their hearts. She cradles him closer. All that rage, all that suppressed want is gone now, from his once tensed shoulders, from the deep of his eyes. Only tenderness remains.

A gentle tapping starts on the canopy above them, in rhythm with his blood, ringing so loud inside him that he can barely hear Stephanie. 

"Shit, rain's here."

Arthur suppresses an annoyed groan and slowly kneels, pulling up his jeans and tucking himself away almost sheepishly. Steph can't help but catch a glimpse of him beforehand, following his hands with her eyes, almost mesmerized. 

She quickly pulls up her pants too, and Arthur helps her with her missing boot before the rain really starts pouring, pulling it gently on her foot and kissing her knee through the rough denim afterwards. He grabs his gun belt and the knife off the ground, sheathing the weapon on Stephanie's own belt while clasping the buckle on his own. 

"We have to camp here," Arthur sighs, standing up and reaching for Steph with a hand, helping her up on still wobbly legs. Jesus, she's gorgeous like this. 

"Better hurry then." 

They build the camp in the pouring rain onto gravel and stone, stumbling in the almost pitch darkness. Arthur ties the canvas to old, crooked pine trees and hopes for the best, while Steph uses the mostly dry horse-blankets to cover the floor of the tent. When they're finally done, the rain's stopped, but everything is sopping wet, including their clothes and bodies. 

Arthur places the bedrolls inside their shelter, overlapping at the sides and pushes the saddles into the back of the tent to let them dry. Steph comes back with a few twigs after disappearing into the trees as a sorry excuse for firewood. 

They make do with what they have. She builds a small campfire, shuddering as the damp wood finally catches and the firelight paints the campsite a warm orange. Arthur ties the horses nearby.

"Miss Grimshaw's gonna kill me if we get sick,” she sigh while she puts her hands above the fire, trembling from exertion and the cold. Arthur comes up behind her, his touch as cold as her own, but he puts his lips to her knuckles and they’re warm. 

“We should strip down these, there’s no point in sleeping like this. I have spare blankets.”

“Alright.”

They shed their clothes, everything except the boots and hang them around the fire on sticks to let them dry. 

Arthur was never shy when it came to being naked in front of others; he was living in a camp half of his life with barely any privacy. But being bare in front of her, that is entirely different. His body not well cared for. Weathered, scarred, marked with his past mistakes. 

But then she looks at him, there’s no shame. She just walks up to him, as bare as the day she was born and she offers him a cigarette she just lit. Arthur accepts it, puts it between his lips. He doesn’t wanna throw this away when it still got the taste of her on it. 

They smoke in silence, sharing the cigarette and comforting each other with soft touches. Arthur senses that she’s as insecure as him, as scared to let him see her, all of her like this as Arthur’s scared of her wandering eyes. 

Steph puts out the butt of the cigarette in a patch of mud when they finish it. 

The blankets are a bit coarse but warm when they crawl into the tent, exhausted but warmer than before, bodies cast in the all-revealing orange and yellow light. Arthur thinks she’s gorgeous like this, as vulnerable as he is, flesh torn open and heart laid bare. 

They sleep tangled in each other on the bedrolls and dusty horse-blankets, and he feels the most peaceful he has ever felt, even after the robbery and the wild manhunt the law chased them on. 

The morning comes swiftly with a lingering smell of wet earth and pines and the early mist. 

Arthur cooks some beans for breakfast in the can over the fire he stroked alive recently. When Steph comes to he’s already dressed up and led the horses to a nearby stream to let them drink, and he brushed them down as good as he could with a handful of dry grass. 

She stumbles out of the tent, still wrapped up in a blanket, and he passes his canteen to her that he filled recently with fresh water from the stream. 

“G’mornin’.”

“Mornin’.”

They eat quietly, sitting close and not speaking a word, but this silence is comfortable, welcome even and Arthur’s grateful for it. Steph dresses after they shared another cigarette and she’s not ashamed anymore when she catches him staring. 

They sit by the fire until it burns down and loses its heat, until the sun crawls higher on the sky and its light filters through the surrounding old forest’s canopy. 

She hugs Arthur around his middle, lays her head on his chest, just above his heart. In her arms he feels soft, flayed open for the sun to see under his skin and reveal his sins. He’s not a good man. Never was. He never deserved good girls, ladies with homes and stuck-up families and riches. He’s glad now. He belongs into the wilderness, into the open plains and forests and mountains. He can’t be reined, just like a wild horse. Old habits die hard, and sometimes they last for eternity. Living a gunslinger’s life won’t end in him peacefully growing old in a cabin somewhere, he’s gonna die violently. But being with her, Jesus—

She’s a mirror, a long lost piece of himself. She wants him like this, like no sane person ever would, and Arthur loves her for it, truly does. He can’t say it yet, not like this, not after a messy tumble in the forest, not after robbing a bank, but he will, someday, he will. 

“I’m sorry that I put a knife to your throat,” she apologizes softly, interrupting his thoughts. Arthur just pulls her closer, kissing her temple. He would die the most merciful death by her hand. 

“I had it comin’ I guess,” Arthur smiles, lips still lingering on her skin. He feels like he's been tamed. Branded, like he wanted. “But I don’t mind.”

“What, you liked it?” Steph grins, slides her hand up to his throat to press on his skin where she can feel him gulp in a quick breath. The little cut where she nicked him is barely visible, but she swipes her thumb over it anyway. 

“I liked what came after.”

“I liked that too,” she whispers, already close to his lips and then they’re kissing, warm and hasty and hard. By the time she’s pulled into his lap, Arthur’s tongue is already tasting her mouth, demanding kisses like he can't get enough. 

They don't shed their clothes, just what's really necessary. There are little bare spots, like opened collars and pulled up shirts, and it's enough for now, enough to let them join together again, enough to have each other on the dusty horse blankets and gravel and stone. 

But this time it's different. Slow, well… slow like a quick affair in a forest can be, and gentle. 

When it's over Arthur helps her with righting her clothes, and when they finish packing up he helps her into the saddle too. He laughs when she winces.

"Hey, don't kill me with that look. This was on you," he adjusts his body in Boadicea's saddle after he's mounted up, smirking. 

"Me and my big mouth," Steph mumbles as they turn back towards the road, keeping a slow pace to go easy on her. 

The ride is long, or it feels long for Stephanie, but this time she and Arthur fill the space between them with conversation and comfortable silence, and when finally a familiar patch of trees and the caravan emerges in the distance, Steph lets out a relieved sigh. 

At the edge of camp, Hosea greets them with a wave and a knowing grin on his face.

"Last time we could hear you bickering from a mile. What happened?"

[jj-babebank]

Camp Willowdale / JJ Maybank AU / PART 6

Synopsis: Camp Willowdale is buzzing with new campers. It’s Caroline Windsor’s first year as a camp counsellor after attending the camp as a camper for ten years. Little does she know that this year Willowdale Lake is going to be a little different from what she is used to it being…

Warnings: future chapters may include curse words, mentions of drugs, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sexual activities, mentions of death.

Pairings: JJ Maybank x fem OC Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 4; Part 5 ;

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 6 -

49 days of camp left

“The thing I don’t understand is,” said JJ, taking a sip of his coffee several days later at breakfast, “How is everyone so chill about all of this?”

“Yeah, everyone except for us,” said Caroline.

“And Topper,” mumbled Sarah.

Her three friends all looked up at her, eyes wide.

“What?” she looked back at them, eyes equally as wide in confusion, “Why’d you think he’s been moping around camp, face looking like a slapped ass?”

“Sarah, why didn’t you say anything at the campfire?” Caroline asked angrily.

“Um, I did,” defended Sarah.

“Um, no you didn’t,” clapped back JJ, getting visibly annoyed.

John B nodded and mumbled quietly, “They’re right, you didn’t…”

“Not now, John B,” snapped Sarah at him, turning towards her other friends, “What do you mean I didn’t?”

“When we asked you about what Topper said, you literally said ‘oh nothing of importance, he doesn’t care about the bitch either’ and then you went back to glaring at those girls goggling at John B,” said JJ.

Sarah scoffed, “I was only glaring because they refuse to listen to me and only do whatever he says,”

“That’s beside the point, Sarah,” sighed JJ, “If you weren’t too busy doing that, perhaps you’d have mentioned that Topper doesn’t buy the whole boyfriend story either, which could mean that we’ve got an ally amongst all of these lunatics!”

“Sorry,” Sarah shrugged, “I guess I just got distracted,”

Caroline shook her head sighing, “Anyway, it’s almost 9,” she looked at JJ, “What’s on our schedule for today?”

“Funny you ask,” JJ responded, “We’ve actually got swimming until 11, which means the kids have swimming until 11 and we can just chill by the lake,” he wiggled his eyebrows, “If you know what I mean,”

In the days since camp began, the whole Madison thing had died down and since there was no new occurrences and, well, no new leads, Caroline and JJ decided to put their primary focus on their teens. They’d made a small rule that every time their schedule indicated that they’ve got an activity where their physical participation is not directly required, Caroline would sneak some whiskey in their thermoses and they would quietly drink it in secret, just to spice up their day.

So far Caroline was doing a pretty good job at hiding her crush on JJ, which was somehow becoming bigger by the day. For some reason everything that JJ did was attractive. Whether it was him running, or teaching the boys how to tie a noose, or eating (pretty messily) his food, or not to mention swimming practice when he was required to get naked – Caroline could just stare at him all day. She was somewhat happy about their newfound tradition of taking over some of their daily tasks while tipsy because the alcohol was somewhat helping her seem more confident and less shy.

Caroline tied her long brunette hair in a Dutch braid and smeared the tiniest bit of mascara on her lashes, just to seem effortlessly pretty, of course. She adjusted the straps of her swimsuit and grabbed her and JJ’s prefilled thermoses before heading out to meet the boy and their group in front of the camper’s cabin.

“There she is,” said JJ, unable to hide his excitement, “We ready to go?”

The campers all agreed and they made their way down towards the lake, where Caroline and JJ sat at one of the benches while their campers hurried into the water.

“Now, now, Teens 2,” said JJ after them, not too bothered about sounding strict, “Usually our timetable says swimming, but since we’re all grown ups here, we can all do whatever we want, as long as we don’t go too far away from me and Carrie’s eyesight, alright?”

Everyone agreed and JJ sat back down next to Caroline, who handed him his thermos.

“I’ve gotta give it to you, Maybank,” she said, taking a sip of the spicy liquor in her flask, “You’ve got a way with kids,”

JJ smiled down at her, taking a sip too, “I mean they’re hardly kids, C,” he said, “Besides, I try my best, I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself in front of you,”

That blush that Caroline was all too familiar with crept back onto her cheeks, “In front of me?” she repeated, surprised.

“Yeah,” nodded JJ as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “I don’t see any other pretty girls around here,”

Caroline looked in the opposite direction, too shy to look at JJ, as she took another rather large sip of her drink, “JJ…”

“What? Can’t a guy give you a compliment?” he smirked, “Hey, come on now, we’re in this together, besides… your mom did say -”

Just as Caroline was about to turn towards JJ with a panicked look in her eyes, fearing what exactly her mom had said to him, two of their campers began screaming their names, diverting both of their attentions.

“Carrie! JJ! You’ve gotta come see this!”

JJ shot up, helping Caroline up as well, as they ran towards the dock. Bobby and Eli, the two campers who had called out for them, were hastily swimming back to shore.

“What is it?” Caroline asked, worry filling up her nerves.

“We found something dope!” said Eli, reaching the dock, “But we can’t reach it without you guys’ help,”

“What did you find?” asked JJ.

“That,” Bobby pointed in the direction they’d just swam from. There, a good distance away, in the middle of the body of water, stood an abandoned-looking stilt house.

“The old lake house,” JJ and Caroline said in unison.

“That’s just an old building, it’s been there forever and there’s literally nothing in it,” explained JJ, his nerves calming down after the initial jump scare, “Trust me, we’ve looked,”

Bobby rolled his eyes, “Oh, come on, you can’t be serious,” he moaned, “That place looks wicked!”

“Yeah, if you watch a lot of horror movies,” said Caroline, “JJ’s right, there’s nothing in there. I’ve been numerous times, it looks way cooler in your imagination, believe me. Reality is underwhelming,”

Eli crossed his arms, “If it’s so underwhelming why don’t you wanna take us there?”

JJ sighed, “Eli, taking you there would require taking the boats, which we’re not allowed to do unless it’s on our schedule, which it’s not, and if we take you there, we’d have to take everyone there, and -”

“Take everyone where?” came Jennie, another one of their campers’, voice suddenly.

“Yeah, JJ,” more campers gathered around the dock, “Where are you taking us?”

JJ and Caroline sighed in defeat as they shared a defeated look, making Bobby and Eli high five in victory.

“Change of plans, kids,” said JJ finally, giving in, “Swimming’s cancelled, looks like we’re going to be learning how to row today,”

_________________________________________________________

“You sure about this?” JJ grabbed Caroline’s hand as she was stepping off the boat and onto the back deck of the abandoned stilt house.

Caroline turned towards him and gave him a reassuring smile, “It’ll be just like the old days,” she said, her tone sounding promising.

JJ followed her onto the deck and they helped their campers tie their little boats on the deck’s cleats.

“Looks like y’all were really paying attention during our noose tying workshop,” JJ said proudly as he double-checked that all the boats were securely tied, “I’m gonna make sure to bring that up to Miss P and we might have a shot of winning at the Will-all-hail banquet,”

Caroline snorted at the name, “So tacky…”

“Come on guys, follow me and Carrie and watch your steps,” JJ signaled, catching everyone’s attention, “This place is crazy old so be careful! One wrong step and you may end up in the water,”

Carefully, the group entered the old creaky building. It was all too familiar to Caroline and JJ, the smell of mold and condensation hitting their nostrils as the single dusty dark room they had secretly lurked into numerous times as kids presented itself in front of them. Part of Caroline had always secretly wished for the old lake house to serve as a passageway to a parallel universe, or to hold some great big secret, or even to be inhabited by the not-so-friendly ghost of whoever built it back in the day, however unsurprisingly, nothing seemed out of the ordinary yet again. The room was empty, other than the numerous spider webs which decorated almost every corner and crease.

“There you go,” Caroline said, turning to leave, “Nothing to see here,”

JJ agreed, “As always, underwhelming and empty,”

“If it’s so empty,” spoke one of the campers, “then what’s that?” the teenager pointed in the direction of where there was once a door leading towards the front deck.

Everyone’s heads turned in that direction and sure enough, on one of the old nails sticking out of the door frame, was hung a piece of red fabric, barely noticeable from the inside, let alone from where the shore to camp was.

“Stand back,” said Caroline, slowly stepping forward towards the fabric. She peeped her head through the door hole cautiously, checking if there was anyone on the front deck, holding her breath as she did so. She breathed out in relief once she saw that the coast was clear and analyzed the fabric, “Hey, J, can you come over?”

JJ, half-impressed, half-paralyzed, snapped back to reality as he walked over to the girl who now looked so brave in his eyes, mentally slapping himself for not being a man and volunteering to go instead of her.

“Why does this look familiar?” Caroline said once JJ came over to piece of clothing. It turned out to be a dress.

JJ shrugged, pulling at the material and taking a sniff, “Whoever’s it is was here recently,” he said, “Smell of perfume is fresh,” he sniffed again, “And super strong,” he scrunched his nose, a look of disgust on his face.

Caroline took a sniff too, “Yeah, that smell is so familiar, but where from…” she sniffed again, closing her eyes in an attempt to figure out where she recognized the scent from.

“Probably one of the girls from your cabin,” concluded JJ, “I’d put my money on Jenna Kinley, she seems like the type to sneak around,”

Caroline smirked, “Sounds about right, she was probably up here sneaking around with Barry, I hear her talking about him all the time,” she unhooked the dress from the nail, “I’ll bring it back to her, she must think she’s lost it,”

JJ nodded and they led the campers out of the stilt house and onto shore again. Caroline tucked the dress in her bag along with her thermos and waited until after everyone’s daily activities were over to meet Sarah by the showers and tell her about her and JJ’s scandalous little discovery. Ever since they’d arrived at Camp Willowdale and had their phones taken away for the rest of the summer, the only source of news and gossip was whatever was happening around camp, and since it wasn’t all that much, every little bit of spice counted.

“So how was archery?” she asked Sarah as she folded her underwear and turned the water in her shower on.

Sarah followed in after her, not bothering on going into a neighboring shower stall. They had developed his habit of showering together about three days into camp, with Sarah seemingly having separation anxiety and insisting that “they’ve both got the same bits and pieces” and that how “any guy would be lucky to be in the position Caroline is in,”.

The blonde groaned as she squeezed some of her purple shampoo in her palm, foaming it up and working it into her hair, “Horrible,” she said, “How do you see me with a bow and arrows?”

“Do you really want me to answer that question?” teased Caroline, mirroring Sarah’s actions and washing her hair.

“Whatever, C,” Sarah rolled her eyes, “How was your swim date with your boyfriend?”

“Okay, first of all, he’s not my boyfriend,” said Caroline earning a smug look from Sarah, “And second, you’ll never guess what we found,”

“Oooh, is it the incessant lust you have for each other?” teased Sarah.

“No, it’s better,” said Caroline, ignoring her friend’s words, “We went to the old lake house and we may or may not have found what we believe to be Jenna’s dress just hanging there,” Sarah’s eyes widened at her words, “Yeah, we assume she’s sneaking around with Barry, how fucking scandalous is that?”

“Shut up!” gasped Sarah.

Caroline nodded excitedly, “Right? She’s been yapping about him nonstop and we just put two and two together,”

“Who’d have thought… little miss perfect and Barry,” scoffed Sarah, “D’you have the dress? It’ll be so embarrassing once you give it back to her, I can picture her face already,”

“You bet I do, it’s in my bag,” said Caroline, “Must’ve done the deed recently, it still reeks of her,” she scrunched her nose at the thought of the horrible smell.

Sarah raised an eyebrow, “What’re you pulling that face for? Does she smell that bad?”

Caroline shook her head, “It’s her perfume,” she explained, “Smells like what I imagine Miss P’s underwear drawer smelling like,”

Sarah scoffed, “Now you’ve got me intrigued,” she quickly rinsed her hair and body off, hurrying for her towel, “Where’d you say this dress was?”

Caroline nodded her head in the direction of her bag, “Somewhere in my bag,” she said, “But I’m being serious – you’ve been warned,”

As she continued rinsing her hair, Sarah dove her hand into Caroline’s bag, searching for the dress in question. When she finally felt it in her hand, she pulled the piece of clothing out pressing it against her nose to take a sniff. Her eyes widened in horror as realization consumed her.

“Carrie…” she mumbled not loud enough for her friend to look up, “Carrie, this isn’t Jenna’s dress,” she spoke louder.

This time, Caroline looked up at Sarah with a look of confusion in her eyes.

“The perfume you’re talking about,” said Sarah, “It’s Guerlain Shalimar, I’d recognize it anywhere,”

“Your point being…?”

“This perfume doesn’t belong to Jenna,” Sarah turned to look at Caroline, her eyes still wide in horror, “It’s Madison’s,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: chapter 6 is upppp!! I hope you like it!! let me know what you think and if you want to be added in the tag list for future chapters, tell me!! xxx

tags: @k-k0129 ; @hayleyy-l ; @marvellover04

Part 7 here

[lorna-d-m]

Lights Out: Ch. 24

Summary: Roxanne, recently graduated and unemployed, gets a call from her childhood friend and hero: her cousin James hunt. In need of a social media manager after one too many scandals, he can think of no one better than Roxanne for the position. Excited about a fun job and getting to know more about her cousin, she jumps at the chance. However, amongst all the bright lights of both the circuit and the media, Roxanne falls in love with his rival: Niki Lauda.

Pairing: Niki Lauda (Rush 2013) x fem!OC Roxanne Hunt

Word Count: 4,633

CW: speculation/talk of the accident, fear of another, one mention of a shotgun wedding, explicit sex

A/N: Hello, I hope y'all are doing well. I'm in the burnout portion of the semester, but writing is how I cope sometimes. My exams are coming up soon so I may not write/post as much, but I will be working on this story when I can. Thank y'all so much.

previous chapter

Maranello

August 2021

A month after the accident, the doctor finally cleared Niki to drive. Just three days after the Dutch race he was annoyed, but he focused all his efforts on the Italian Grand Prix. They spent a lazy week in Austria before flying to Maranello. The team insisted on a test drive before the next race to assess Niki’s abilities again. He grumbled the whole time, saying it wasn’t as if he forgot how to drive, but complied with the order.

The morning of his test, Niki kept his arms wrapped tight around Roxanne, his face nuzzled into her neck, and his body pressed close to her back. It wasn’t until he laid beside her, but not curled up with her, that he realized how much he missed the floral scent of her shampoo and the warmth of her body. His early alarm had yet to go off, and he snuggled closer to her. Roxanne woke up at the soft touch, and enticingly wiggled her butt against him. One of his hands left her waist and slid under her shirt, cupping her breast as he brought his lips to her ear. His breath was hot against her neck.

“Were you trying to wake me up?” he teased, his hardening member pressing firmly against her butt. She giggled in response, shifting again to tease him instead of answering.

His other hand slid down and pushed her underwear off her hips, surprised she wore any at all. Niki’s deft fingers swiped through her folds and noticed the slick already accumulating there. He chuckled in her ear, calling her a needy wife, before teasing her clit. She let out a soft moan, melting into his touch before he properly began, and sighed contentedly into the pillow.

“Look at you, grinding yourself against me like a good little wife.” Roxanne clenched around his fingers and hummed in agreement. His cock flexed against the curve of her ass, proud to call her his good wife. She praised him enough the first time he ate her out after they married, calling him a good husband, that he came on the sheets as he brought her to orgasm. Now, it was Niki’s turn to turn her into a blushing, giggling, moaning mess in his arms.

He continued to fuck her with his fingers as she throbbed around him, and her head fell back against his shoulder. Niki kissed her exposed jaw and nibbled her ear. “You just want to come for your husband, don’t you?” He nipped her ear then. “Go on, be the good hausfrau you are and come for me,” he whispered darkly.

Roxanne cursed as she came around his fingers, and she arched her back. Niki’s firm hand on her breast held her close to him and kept her in place so she could feel him still sink into her with three fingers and twitch under his thumb on her clit. His name fell from her lips as her only prayer, and he kissed down her neck. Finally, he removed his hand from her and used it to grab her thigh, bringing it into a comfortable but stretched position, and holding it there as he entered her in one smooth move.

Her moan was obscene as he entered her, and she quickly rocked back against his hip. Niki groaned as he moved his hand from her thigh, no doubt leaving little prints in the shape of his fingers, and slid up her abdomen, noting the soft mound of himself pressing inside her. “Such a good wife,” Niki murmured, “taking all of your husband.” Then he nipped at her shoulder, a sharp contrast from the kisses on her neck, as he thrust in and out of her.

His hand moved back to her clit, teasing it in time with his deep thrusts. “Fuck, Niki,” she whined at his expert touch. He knew exactly how to bring her to the edge, and would sometimes leave her there just to listen to her whine.

“Yes, who fucks you this good, Schatz?” His breath was hot against her neck.

“You, Niki, you,” she panted, feeling the tension build again. He bit her shoulder at that, clearly not the answer he wanted, as he continued to stroke her fluttering walls. She could feel every inch of him, and it took her a moment to cry out the correct answer. “My husband!” Roxanne arched hard against his chest again as she gushed on his cock. Niki’s hips stuttered as he continued to fuck her through her orgasm with his so near. When she muttered his name again, he came so deep inside he claimed every part of her.

Roxanne gasped and panted when he finally stilled, and she could feel the racking of his chest against her back. Before he could move to pull out, the alarm on his phone rang and buzzed in anticipation of a busy day.

“Hell of a way to wake up.” Niki kissed her cheek before rolling out of bed to start the shower.

***

Roxanne sat in the Ferrari garage, aware of everyone’s wary looks, and tapped her foot on the floor. Niki, his race suit tied around his waist as he puttered around the garage, didn’t seem to mind the nervous tension amongst the team. Today’s test had one question to answer: Can Niki drive? And not just drive, but quickly, steadily, and like a champion? Old man Ferrari was keen to fire Niki, rip up his contract, and let Carlos Reutemann race for him if he couldn’t.

Niki insisted he wasn’t nervous, but she could tell by the way he crossed his arms and stalked through the garage he was. The mechanics gave him a thumbs up, telling him they were ready for him, and he circled back to her. He slipped off his ring and watch for her to hold and gave her a kiss, quick but affectionate. She smiled at the gesture and nodded at him to instill confidence. They couldn’t spot it as he climbed into the car, but under his racing boot, he hid a compression sock to help him. He didn’t want to give them any reason to scrutinize him, and if the little sock helped him feel more comfortable slamming on the brakes then it was necessary.

The first few laps Niki drove were slow. Incredibly slow. Eyebrows were raised as he circled the track, and people glanced from him on the screen to the stopwatch. No one was surprised when he radioed to come in after those paltry laps. He came into the garage and the mechanics leaned in to listen. They came back with knee pads, per request, and tightened the safety harness around him. Satisfied, Niki left again.

Now, Niki started to fall back into form. One by one the lap times became faster as he shaved away time. One by one, the mechanics perked up. As Niki did more laps around the circuit, taking off milliseconds each time, Roxanne smiled wider. She knew Niki could do it, he only needed to get out of his damn head about it.

At one point, he nearly beat the Fiorano track record. That in and of itself ought to be enough to prove he was fit to drive. After a full day’s driving, testing, and data recording, Niki returned to the garage for good. The tires squealed as he came to a stop, and they lifted up the car with jacks and brought it back in. Dutifully, Niki climbed out of the car and came ambling back to Roxanne.

“Well?” he asked, cocksure of himself. “Good?”

“The best, baby.” Rox grasped him by the shoulders and pulled him closer. “The fucking best,” she whispered in his ear.

Niki kissed her again, greedier and needier than the first time, earning them a wolf whistle from the mechanics. Blushing, Rox placed a hand on his chest and brought his ring and watch back from her pocket. He eagerly slipped his ring back on, missing its familiar feel after driving, and kissed her cheek again before talking with the mechanics. They needed to know how the car felt under him again, and what they could do to make it better.

Monza

Thursday, August 26th, 2021

The press and reporters swarmed around Niki and Ferrari like flies to a horse. Niki even swatted at them from time to time, brushing them off with a snarky remark or a snippy statement. He didn’t want to answer any questions or rebuke any comments until the press conference where he could address what he wanted and ignore what annoyed him.

“Niki!” James stopped him in the paddock on his way to lunch. He moved quickly to avoid attention, but James’s insistence on talking stopped him. Niki turned to face his friend and sometimes enemy with a cheeky smile.

“You know, Niki, I tried to call you at the time, to apologize.” Niki nodded slowly and faced away from James for a moment, hoping he could have avoided this conversation. “The drivers’ meeting in Germany, before the race, I swayed the room.”

Niki didn’t hesitate to say “Yes, you did.”

“That race should never have gone ahead,” James continued, clearly feeling the need to apologize properly to him.

“No, it shouldn’t.”

“So in many ways, I feel responsible for what happened and…”

“You were.” Niki didn’t pull any punches in how he felt, and James expected nothing less. “But trust me, watching you win those races while I was sidelined, you were equally responsible for getting me back in the car.”

James didn’t know what to say, staying quiet for once. Niki took his silence at face value and continued on his way to meet Roxanne for lunch. He didn’t want to be late, leaving her alone in the cafe and anxiously looking around for him, so he walked away.

***

The FIA paired him with Clay for the press conferences, a natural Ferrari pairing for the weekend at Monza. Indistinct murmurs filled the room, cameras clicking and chairs scraping against the floor. Niki sat at the table, his closed fist pressed against his cheek, and he spotted Roxanne in the back against the wall. She gave him a little wave, enough for him to know she was there and supporting him, and she blew a kiss. Comforted, he gestured for the conference to begin.

“How are you feeling, Niki?”

“Fine,” he nodded, short and to the point. His press manager glanced at him, indicating he should speak more, and he rolled his eyes.

On to the next question. “Niki, can you confirm to us exactly what your injuries were and any procedures you may have had?”

“Sure,” Niki nodded affirmatively. “I had a number of cracked and broken ribs,” he gestured to his chest with his hands, “as well as a sprain in my right ankle. Now, that made it difficult to do anything for a few weeks, but I’m back and ready to race.”

Unbeknownst to Niki, James crept into the press conference. He stayed in the back of the room, away from Roxanne who Niki kept a careful and loving eye on, and listened to Niki’s responses. Niki had the ability to amuse James even when he wasn’t joking.

“When they heard about your condition, Ferrari immediately hired a replacement driver, Carlos Reutemann.”

Niki pinched his lips together during the question, and sweat a little under his spare Ferrari jacket. Roxanne wore his usual one, surprised by the breezy afternoon. “Yeah, before even reaching the hospital,” he stressed with a wagging finger and a glare at the Ferrari representatives.

“Is Reutemann driving today too?”

“Yes,” Niki admitted, causing them to snap pictures and take notes, “and keen to make an impression. So let’s see where Mr. Reutemann finishes and where I finish on Sunday.” He chuckled a little, confident he would outperform Carlos and put him to shame. The crowd snickered too, eager to laugh with the sitting World Champion after he’d been away for six weeks.

“James Hunt and McLaren have caught up a lot while you were away,” a reporter baited.

“Yes,” Niki waited. “So is there a question now or are you just trying to piss me off?”

The crowd laughed again, and James in the back couldn’t help but crack a smile. Niki’s brutal honesty might turn some people off, but for many it puts them at ease. They could count on him to say what he thought.

“You still think you can win?”

“Yes, of course. I have the better car,” he turned to acknowledge the team, “and I’m possibly the better driver. But he’s a clever guy and he’s used his time well while I was side-lined to win some points.”

Audience members laughed awkwardly, eager to bring the lightheartedness back to the conference. James accepted the “clever guy” compliment but remembered the remark hidden in there. Niki clearly insinuated that had he been there those would have been his points.

“And why did you marry Roxanne Hunt so quickly? Was it a shotgun wedding?”

Niki’s entire demeanor changed in an instant. His head snapped to face the accuser, who knew of his wedding despite no announcements, and dared to insinuate it was only because she was pregnant, which wasn’t even true. He pressed his lips together and blinked a few times, struggling to decide what to say. Niki glanced at Roxanne in the back of the room, all color drained from her face, and he chewed on his bottom lip.

James couldn’t help but look at his cousin, and he was only one of dozens of eyes studying her like an animal at the zoo. They all checked her face for any signs of confirmation and her stomach for any indication of pregnancy. Poor Roxanne looked as if she wanted to fall through the floor.

“We married quietly to avoid pointless and slanderous questions exactly like that. We married privately because we love each other and did not need to involve anyone else in our relationship.” Niki cracked a nervous smile, hoping his answer would please the press, the team, and Roxanne who didn’t deserve any more embarrassment or harassment. The crowd snickered, wanting to move on from the obviously tense moment, but the reporter refused to accept that answer.

“I’m being serious. Why else would you marry so quickly and privately at a courthouse? Did James force you to get married?”

Burning anger showed on Niki’s face, and he leaned into the microphone. “And I’m being serious, too,” he practically spat. Niki pointed at the man, “Fuck you. Press conference over.”

Niki ripped the microphone wire off and sat up from the table. He stormed through the room, ignoring the rising chatter and quick clicking of cameras, to grab Roxanne by the waist and take her out of the room. She hurried along behind him, eager to get out of the room. James remained on the back wall, suddenly the object of everyone’s attention, and frowned.

Friday, August 27th, 2021

Niki worked diligently to keep his surprise, well, a surprise. He designed his special helmet in secret, careful to keep the emails out of view on his laptop, ensuring the package was delivered to the team rather than to Niki himself, and keeping it from obvious view Friday morning. Now, with practice soon approaching and the team waiting for Niki to be ready, it was time for him to reveal his hard work.

“Can you hold my phone and record?” Countless times, Roxanne captured moments of Niki in the garage, catching Niki off guard, Niki goofing around, and now it was his turn to flip the script. He wasn’t going to post it like she did with several of her videos, but having a record of the moment would be nice. Niki handed his phone to the mechanic, who instantly knew something was happening and tapped his friend beside him to watch.

“Rox,” Niki noted she was near the shelf, it was just above her head, but easily within her grasp. “Can you hand me my helmet? It’s up there.”

The mechanics and crew stopped working to admire the scene. They nudged each other with elbows and pointed over to the little cluster, shushing each other when someone tried to interrupt. As much as Niki argued with Ferrari management, the mechanics and the crew loved him. They could wait a few minutes for Niki to get into the car and start his test runs.

She reached for it without a second thought, having handed him his gloves, balaclava, and helmet countless times, but hesitated when she held it in her hands. It wasn’t just Niki’s signature red helmet. It was a collage of their relationship.

Roxanne spotted their first picture together, a group snapshot after they all went golfing together, and noted his hand firmly on her waist despite James, Jody, and Ronnie in the picture. There was a collection of pictures from their trip to the amusement park, including one of them on the ride just before the drop where Niki held her hand until his knuckles turned white. That was placed under the signature Niki on the side. She found a selfie she’d taken of them at the beach where they wore each other’s sunglasses, Niki teasing the heart-shaped glasses endlessly, but admitting he loved how she looked in them. Finally, right underneath the Lauda on the side, there was a picture of them standing outside the courthouse, Niki in his checked suit and Roxanne in her white dress.

She blinked back tears as she held the helmet, some still managing to spill down her cheeks, and she turned to look at Niki. Roxanne held it firmly in her hands, refusing to hand it over to him just yet. “Did you design this?”

“Just for you, Schatz,” he said with a smile, his little teeth showing. “I may not have a shiny ring for you or something special like that, but I want to show you how much you mean to me.”

She had enough sense to set the helmet on the table nearby before grabbing him by the race coverall and kissing him. He blushed as crimson as his suit, knowing he was very watched at the moment, but relished it all the same. Niki wasn’t the type for too many grand gestures and insincere words, but he wanted to do something special for her. Roxanne and her unwavering support helped get him back in the car, and he wanted her to know how deeply he loved and appreciated her.

Roxanne released him from the kiss, and he slipped on his balaclava and helmet before climbing into the car. The helmet became a talking point for the commentators when there wasn’t anything exciting happening on track, and Roxanne was amused to listen to them trying to decipher the pictures. At high speeds and odd camera angles, it became difficult to differentiate one from another, but Roxanne knew what each one was and each moment it captured. She tried to think of which shelf in their house she could put the helmet on after the race.

Sunday, August 29th, 2021

Niki qualified fifth on the grid. Not the front row position he grew accustomed to, but not the worst considering his circumstances. Roxanne reminded him that night after the qualifying session that he needed to be reasonable with himself. Yes, he could push himself hard and win, but this was also his first race after crashing. She knew he had nightmares after the crash, she woke up enough times to him shaking and panting beside her, so she knew how deeply it affected him. Hell, she knew how quickly he got out of the car again after practice and qualifying as if he was afraid to sit in it any longer. He admitted she had a point, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of needing to do better. Niki was a race car driver, after all.

A lot of talk surrounded Niki and the weekend, could he live up to snuff, could he race, would he be a danger to others on track, and she reminded him to push all of that out of his head. “Just drive. Don’t worry about the speed or the skill or anything else. It’s you and this car.” Roxanne assured him of that with her head on his chest, hearing the consistent and steady thud of his heart.

“That’s why I married you, isn’t it?” Niki couldn’t help but tease her. “The advice and the sex?”

“And a few other things I hope,” she smirked.

Now, waiting near the grid before the formation lap, Niki took a deep breath in, counted, and let it out. It was him and the car. Nothing else mattered in that moment, not the commentators, not the reporters, not Enzo Ferrari, nothing.

***

The stands were a sea of red, white, and green Italian flags, as well as the vibrant red and yellow for Ferrari. Roxanne remembered the excitement last year for Monza, but it couldn’t hold a candle to this. The return of the Ferrari world champion, at their home track, brought hundreds of thousands of fans to the temple of speed.

“So Niki Lauda, just 42 days after his terrible accident at Nurburgring, will race here today at Monza.”

Roxanne spotted Niki walking through the grid, his helmet and gloves already on. No doubt he was working hard to ignore everyone around him. He walked in a very determined straight line with people practically jumping out of his way. More than anything she wanted to be there, to hold his hand and tell him it will be alright no matter what happens, but she couldn’t. It was almost time for the formation lap, and then it would be lights out.

The crowd cheered when he climbed into the car, his right foot first and then his left before sitting down. Further back, James watched the crowd cheer for his championship rival, friend, and now relative. Roxanne considered for a moment how funny life could be, pitting her husband and her cousin against one another on the track.

“Please clear the grid.”

Mechanics and team members scurried from the grid back to their garages and the pits. The engines roared to life, echoing in the temple of speed, and reinvigorated the audience. They eagerly awaited the moment the lights would go out, while Roxanne knew her breath would hitch and her heart would skip a beat.

“What a race today, there’s Jacque Laffite on pole, Jody Scheckter beside him, followed by Carlos Pace and Patrick Depailler, and yet all eyes are on the man in fifth position on the grid: Niki Lauda.”

“He certainly knows how to make headlines this season.” It wasn’t as if Niki wanted to, she thought bitterly.

“It’s lights out, and away we go!”

“It’s a bad start for Lauda, he’s slow away!”

Roxanne couldn’t refute the commentators. Jody Scheckter took the lead after getting a good start on the grippier side of the track, but Niki stayed bogged down in the midfield.

“The returning Niki Lauda seems overwhelmed.”

Niki could do test runs, practice sessions, and even qualifiers, but none of that compared to being behind the wheel during a race. Anything could happen at any moment, and if he had an ounce too much worry, he wouldn’t go for the position. He wouldn’t be as brave as he might have been before. He wouldn’t be the driver everyone counted on him to be.

“He’s being overtaken by car after car.”

“A terrible start for the Austrian. It’s perhaps too soon for him to be racing again.”

Roxanne resisted the urge to cry in the Ferrari garage. Did he push himself too hard? Did his anger and his frustration, his senseless need to be the best, push him into the car before he was ready? Just because the doctor cleared him didn’t mean he would be without pain. Was that why he suffered a slow start and was stuck in the midfield?

“Lauda’s off line! He runs wide into the grass!”

She resisted the urge to throw up. Roxanne kept one hand covering her mouth, hiding the frightened look on her face, but all the mechanics knew. One of them tried to comfort her, but it couldn’t soothe her. The last time one tried to console her, Niki had just crashed into the wall.

“He wrestles it back onto the track, but that was a bad moment for Niki. Niki Lauda’s the reigning world champion, but maybe in his current state he’s a danger out there to himself and the rest of the field.”

“And Stuck has collided with Mario Andretti’s Lotus!”

When the cameras panned to show the incident, the first thing Roxanne saw was Niki’s Ferrari behind them. He was boxed in with nowhere to go, and yet, he found a way through the wreckage. Her heart beat out of her chest, she swore she could feel her stomach drop, and she watched with wide eyes through the replay.

“Lauda is actually making a move. He’s on Brambilla’s tail.”

And just like that, he went around the outside and past Brambilla. He used the slipstream to build enough speed and easily overtook him.

“Lauda’s starting to find the form that early in the race we believed he’d lost.”

That had been on lap 23. For the next 20 laps of the race, Niki never gave up. He performed his best when he had a clear goal or target, and with Ferrari’s mistreatment of him, he had one.

“Lauda’s now lapping faster than Reutemann and closing the gap ahead.”

“Lauda closing on Carlos Reutemann, the man called in to be his replacement in the Ferrari team.”

Just as Niki overtook Reutemann, James Hunt’s McLaren was found on the side of the track, smoke pouring out of it. Niki gave a little wave, unseen by James at the time.

“This is bad news for Hunt’s championship hopes.” And yet, it was brilliant news for Niki. He could finally earn back some of the points that he missed.

“It’s Ronnie Peterson who comes home the winner here at Monza. But all eyes are on the man who finishes a brilliant fourth!”

Niki Lauda.

Spectators roared, mechanics celebrated, Niki waved to the crowd and pointed. He didn’t need to win that day, he just needed to beat Carlos Reutemann, which he did. The Argentine finished in ninth place, earning a paltry two points, whereas Niki brought in much more for Ferrari and for the driver’s championship. Excited fans stormed the track after the drivers stopped in parc ferme, and the team practically dragged Niki along. Literally. They hoisted him up and carried him on their shoulders since he wouldn’t be on the podium. Roxanne had to fight through the crowd to catch a glimpse of her husband.

***

Niki, who didn’t like being picked up and paraded around, looked for his wife in the crowd. He wanted nothing more than to ice his ankle, eat a good meal, and fall asleep with his wife beside him. Two exhausting hours of slamming on the brakes and regulating his breathing left him beat, more than he would admit to anyone else but her.

At the end of the day, they did just that. Roxanne drove them back to the hotel, knowing without Niki saying it that he was in pain, and ordered room service for the two of them. She elevated his ankle with a pillow while they ate pasta in bed, and he fell asleep with his hand just under her chest and his face buried in her shoulder.

There were three races left, and Niki intended to give it his all.

Tag list: @scuttle-buttle @lieutenantn @fictionlandslanddreams @danielbruhlswife @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @hardlyinteresting

[sheeple]

Wrong turn

PHOTO NOT MINE. THIS IS ALL FICTION. Genre(s): Mobster!au / university!au / x OFC (Lex Seijters) Fandom(s): MCU Pairing(s): Mob!Bucky Barnes x Dutch!OFC (can be read is fem!y/n) Summary: In which a stubborn girl learns that sometimes it’s better to walk around a block, even if it’s ten minutes longer. Warning(s): If you have trouble with a Dutch OC... I'm sorry? / stalking / kidnapping / drugging / violence / what do want more from a mob!au? / THIS IS A LONG ASS BITCH 15.5K WORDS, BEWARE! A/n: Everything written in italic is said in Dutch [Masterlist] [Moodboard]

I look down at my phone, a frown on my face as the red line my friend Claire has drawn on a map. "Are you sure this is the way to go?", I turn towards her, my bike in her hands, "because if we go through this alley, we cut off ten minutes."

Claire shakes her head. "No! Do you even know where we are?", she hisses.

"Brooklyn?", I question, dropping my brows even lower at Claire's stupid question. Of course, I know where we are. I do know how to read a map even though my topography isn’t the best.

"Yes! Brooklyn exactly! It's run by the mob!"

I snort. "Sure, Claire. And we're in the Godfather. If you want to spend walking ten minutes extra, be my guest, but I'm walking through here." With a roll of my eyes, I start to walk towards the ally, my steps determent.

Claire cruses loudly. She grabs the bike and runs after me, clinging to my sleeve. "If something happens, I am mute and you don't know English."

A laugh escapes my lips. What a classic thing to do if someone unwantedly approaches you. 

We walk through the ally and at the end, I see a couple of black cars, men standing around them. Some are smoking, some chewing on toothpicks. Claire looks up at me scared and I slightly shake my head, telling her to just continue walking.

Suddenly, a hand grabs my shoulder and spins me around, making Claire let go of my hand and dropping the bike. I grimace at the sounds of the bell hitting the pavement.

I look up at the person, a man, who has turned me around. He has his hair tied in a low bun in the back of his neck, a couple of loose strands in his ice-blue eyes.

"Are you lost, little one?" His voice is smooth and deep.

I do my best not to gag at the stupid nickname and look neutrally up at him, as I hold by the bit that Claire's mute and I don't speak English. 

"You deaf or something? I asked you a question", the guy asks irritated, and I see a couple of guys who previously leaned on the cars, take steps closer to us.

I cock my head to the side, knitting my eyebrows together I say, "Claire, pick up the bike, please." I sign with my eyes for her to the bike, and Claire luckily understands what I mean and grabs the bike in her trembling hands.

The man frowns, his eyes holding the unasked question of what language I am speaking. "Do you even speak English?" 

I look over my shoulder towards the end of the alleyway in the hope the guy understands what I mean. "I no English." I cake my accent extra thickly, selling it. Better to overdo it then being called out fake.

While giving the guy a sickly sweet smile, I grab Claire's hand and drag her towards the exit of the alley. I throw every now and then a smile at one of the other guys.

Once we are far enough, Claire lets out a breath of relief. "I told you something would happen! Do you even know what that was?", she questions me shocked, her hands shaking.

I shrug. "I don't know? Some guy who thinks he's everything?" I take my phone out of my pocket to check the time. "Great, I told you we would save ten minutes. The metro station is at the end of this street."

Claire groans loudly. "Lex, please! That was Mr Barnes, he owns Brooklyn!"

As I grab my bike, I snort. "Sure, Brooklyn is run by the mob. You've seen too many movies. Now, hop on because if we stay old-hookering here, we will miss our metro." I roll my eyes, getting on the bike.

She gets on the luggage rack and wraps her arms around my middle. "What does that even mean?"

"Old-hookering? It's a saying that you talk as much as a prostitute of age. Mostly nonsense."

Claire shakes her head. "You Dutch people and your weird sayings."

As the two girls bike away, Bucky leans against the wall of the alley, his eyes on the one who spoke to him.

"Who doesn't speak English?", he mumbles under his breath as he grabs a cigarette out of his pocket, lighting it. "You're in America, for Pete's sake. Hey Barton", he calls out over his shoulder, Barton turning his attention to his boss. "Find out who that girl was. Name, school, where she's from, where she works. Everything."

Barton nods, grabbing his phone out of his pocket and making a few calls.

Bucky laughs to himself, blowing out a huff of smoke. Who doesn't speak English in America?

"Hi, Gladace, sorry I'm a bit late!", I yell as I rush towards the back of the flower shop, already wrestling my jacket off.

Gladace is a middle-aged mother of three with grey streaks in her hair that owns a cute flower shop. It has cottage core vibes with a dash of light academia. Claire actually got me this job, as Gladace is her aunt.

The older woman smile towards me as I tie my apron. "Don't worry, child, it's only ten minutes."

I quickly tie my hair back into a high ponytail, tucking loose strands behind my ears. "Great. Because Claire and I took the wrong metro and ended up in Vinegar Hill. We had to take the bus back."

Filling a watering can, I make my way to the front of the store to check if the flowers have enough water in the buckets. "Did we get any orders for today?", I ask over my shoulder, not noticing that Gladace has followed after me.

"Vine... Vinegar Hill?! Lex that's really a dangerous area! Many sketchy figures roam there." Gladace frown deeply, a worried look on her face.

I groan internally. Not her too. "Nothing happened, don't worry. We were stopped by some rando but we used the classic mute-and-not-understanding-English trick." I shrug my shoulders, blowing a stay hair out of my face.

As I turn around, I notice that Gladace looks really uncomfortable. I lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Hey, everything's okay. I really thickened my accent when I told him I didn't speak English."

"Who comes to America and doesn't speak English?" Gladace shakes her head, collecting flowers for a bouquet.

"I could be a tourist, who knows. Which flowers do you need?"

"Just white roses. And black wrapping paper." She holds her hand out and I give her a handful of roses, careful that we don't hurt ourselves on the thorns. "Just... promise me to be more careful next time something like that happens."

Gladace looks at me worried and I nod. No matter how idiotic I think it is, the look in her eyes is real.

It's been a couple of weeks since the whole alleyway incident and I haven't seen any of the guys since then. I often do have the feeling that I am followed, but that's ridiculous.

I am currently sitting in the back of a cafe studying because that has to happen too. I have to maintain my grades high if I want to keep my scholarship at NYU. 

Claire had to quickly run to her apartment to grab her charger so now I am sitting here alone, vibing with the music of the cafe and sipping on my ice coffee.

The chair in front of me scrapes back, Claire sits down with a sigh.

"So, I take that you're not kidnapped", I tease with a playful smile, looking up from my notebook.

But it's not Claire sitting in front of me rolling her eyes, but the guy from the alleyway, the one who stopped me. Great, he's a stalker.

"I thought you didn't speak English, sweetpea?", the guy says with a smirk, his eyes twinkling dangerously.

I lean back in my chair, closing my notebook with a huff. Does he always use stupid nicknames? "I do not", I answer simply in English, a challenge in my eyes.

The guy laughs. "Here I thought I had to buy a dictionary to talk to you." He folds his arms over each other in front of his chest, his face amused.

"I still don't speak English", I continue, far too amused with annoying this one guy. "What do you even want?"

The guy reaches over and grabs my ice coffee, talking the straw in his mouth as he holds eye contact with me. "Dunno. Walked by, saw you sitting here all alone and thought why not keep you company." His smirk is lopsided and boy-ish, an open challenge to me.

"Well", I begin, snatching the glass out of his hand, "my friend can come back any second, so I don't need you to keep me company." I open my notebook again and go over this day's notes. "Goodbye now."

The guy lets out a surprised chuckle as I wave him away.  But, he stands up from the chair, throwing something on the table and walking out of the cafe, his hands in his pockets.

I try not to immediately look for what he has dropped, but curiosity kills the cat, and I grab the thing. 

A business card. It's white with black lettering... no, dark blue. Very sleek, very classy. I have to give him some credits, it looks nice. Bucky Barnes, it reads on the front, a single line under the name. The back is completely dark blue with white letters. A phone number and email.

"What's that?", asks Claire as she wheezes from running three blocks from and to. She plops down the chair, taking the business card out of my hands.

I scratch the back of my head. "Ehrm... he came by", I say as nonchalantly as I can.

Claire lets out a shriek ─ earning weird looks from the people around us ─ dropping the card on the table as if it had burned her. 

With a roll of my eyes, I grab the card and put it behind my phone case. "Don't be so dramatic, Claire. It's just a business card." 

She looks at me dumbfounded. "Just a business card?! Jesus Christ, Lex! A mobster gave you his business card and you're acting like it's nothing big." 

I slam my laptop shut. "Look at the thing, Claire, it looks like just a business card. He may just own a business." With a roll of my eyes, I take a sip of my ice coffee. A grimace forms on my face as I remember that the guy ─ or Bucky as I suppose have to call him now ─ also took a sip of my drink.

She sighs. "Fine. But can we please go? I don't feel comfortable that Mr Barnes knows where we are. He could be on the top of a roof with a sniper rifle keeping us in his eye." She looks around with big eyes while slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

I just roll my eyes and put everything in my bag, waving goodbye to the barista as we walk out of the cafe.

"So, what now?", I ask, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my jacket as we walk outside. It's a nice day in May, the sun shines brightly and there is a pleasant breeze. 

Bucky watches the two girls walk out of the cafe from his car, his eyes focussed on the tallest. He opens the file Barton give him. Alexia Seijters, but she goes by Lex for short, twenty-five years old and from The Netherlands. She studies digital design at NYU on a scholarship.

Next to her friend is Lex quite tall, taller than most of the girls around her. Also, her attitude is different towards him than other people. She's sassy, acts like she doesn't speak English while she clearly is fluent, and a playful look in her eyes.

Most people look down when he passes, cowering in their seats when he sits in front of them, obeying his every word. But she... She's a challenge. And Bucky likes a challenge.

He grabs his phone out of the inner pocket of his jacked, activating the tracker he put in the business card. What? He is part of the mob, what did you expect?

Someone knocks on the car window, and Bucky lowers the glass. "Here's the book you wanted, pal." Steve smiles as he hands Bucky the English to Dutch dictionary.

Bucky takes the book from Steve's hands, a smirk on his face. "Thanks, punk."

I sit slumped behind my laptop, listening to how my professor goes on and on about the theory of colour. My head is propped in my hand so I don't nod off to sleep.

My eyes travel involuntarily towards the business card behind my phone case. A huff leaves my lips as I take it out. It's not like I already know what the professor is explaining.

I tap the card on the desk and a smirk forms on my face as I get an idea. Grabbing a red pen, I cross through Bucky and write Bonky above it. I snicker to myself, admiring my work.

While I'm at it, I open Illustrator and create a new file. Within ten minutes, I have three new concepts based on the already existing colours of dark blue, cream, and white. I send the file and some png's to my phone through the mail just in case I ever see Backy again.

Which is the next day. At my job.

It's a Saturday afternoon and business has been weirdly slow today so I am just standing behind the counter, leaning against it with my hip jutted out and my phone in my hands, texting with my friends from back home who are preparing to go out clubbing.

The bell above the door rings. I quickly put my phone in the pocket of my apron, putting on a smile. "Hi, how can I help you?" 

I turn towards the person who has entered the flower shop and my smile falls as I see it's Bucky.

"You still don't know English, peaches?", he taunts with a sly smirk on his face, his arms behind his back.

Not even acknowledging the stupid nickname, I grimace. "That's a no, I'm afraid."

Bucky pulls a book from behind his back and starts to flip through it. "How it goes?" The words leave his lips as he looks up at me triumphantly.

A snort leaves my lips and I clasp a hand over my mouth. "It's how are you? How it goes?", I whisper the last part under my breath with a smile, shaking my head.

"So, are you stalking me or something?", I question with a cock of my head. Folding my arms over each other, I take a defensive stance.

"I was walking by, saw you standing here all alone and thought why not keep you company. You looked bored." Bucky looks smug as he practically uses the same stupid excuse he used in the cafe.

I roll my eyes. "Sure. But listen, there's something really wrong with your business card, dude." I pull my phone out of my back pocket and swipe the business card from behind my phone case.

Bucky coughs nervously. "There is?"

"Seriously, who designed this monstrosity? Minion Pro? That's the fucking default of InDesign. You could have used Comic Sans to get the same message through." I slide the card towards him over the counter, pointing out the font.

He grabs the card and frowns. "Did you seriously cross my name out and write Bonky above it?" A genuine laugh escapes his lips. "Cute."

"Yeah, whatever, I was bored in class. Now back to the business card." I start to type around on my phone, opening my Gmail and pulling up the mail I send to myself. "Because I am a very generous person and just can't have you walking around with that thing, I made redesigns."

I throw my phone on the counter, a slight look of disgust on my face. "How much did you pay for the card? Or was it just done by somebody who claims has a passion for design but uses a rainbow gradient unironically?"

It's quiet for a moment except for the nervous taping of my nails against the counter as the man in front of me judges my work. I never really got used to the jitters when someone criticises my work.

"You're really good, you know that darling? These look very professional." He looks up at me, his eyes house genuine surprise.

I huff in annoyance. "Of course, I'm good at this shit. I have a degree for it, nonetheless."

Bucky gives my phone back and I tuck it back into my back pocket. "How much do you want for it?"

My mouth falls open as I look baffled at him. "Wha... what? You want it?" I never actually expected him to like the concepts I made just because I was bored.

"Definitely. The last one looks solid. Can you send me it?"  

I nod blankly. "Ehrm, sure. I-I-I don't know what to ask for it, to be honest..." I've never made something freelance so I don't know what is appropriate.  

A smirk forms on Bucky's lips. "What if I give you a hundred bucks?" He grabs his wallet and places a green rectangle on the counter, Benjamin Franklin staring up at the ceiling. How rich are you if you carry hundred dollar bills with you, throwing them around like nothing?

Bucky laughs at me staring at the bill. "Don't worry, baby, it's clean money."

That comment pulls me out of my daze and I grab the bill, stuffing it in my pocket. "Oh right", I roll my eyes, "Claire told me everybody thinks that we're in the Godfather." 

I forward the right documents for printing and his phone dings as a sign I used the right email.

"Excuse me, who said what?" Bucky frowns, cocking his head to the side.

I wave my hand dismissively as I tidy up the counter. "Everybody and it's so stupid! Mobsters and gangsters are fake... a fable."

Bucky looks taken aback. "Is that so?", he questions, a shit-eating grin on his face. He grabs something from under his jacket and lays a gun on the counter.

He expects me to back away, a scared look in my eyes. But instead, I raise one eyebrow unimpressed at him.

"Yeah okay? Whoo, a gun, how scary!", I say mockingly, giving the gun a flick. "Come on man, it's like you guys' first amendment that you can own a gun." One corner of my mouth turns up as I see the perplexed look on the man's face.

The ringtone of the office phone blears loudly and I look over my shoulder. "I must take it, it may be important. You can let yourself out, Bonky." I wave him off and walk towards the office, answering the phone and noting the order for a bouquet.

When I enter back in the shop, Bucky indeed let himself out. Only the strong smell of his ─ I'm sure expensive ─ cologne lingers in the air.

"Awwe come on, Lex! It will be so much fun", Claire whines loudly, pulling me after our friend group who all have entered a bar.

"I thought you were so afraid to go close to Brooklyn?", I ask in a teasing tone, folding my arms over each other. 

Claire rolls her eyes. "We're just past Queens. Too many tourists, nobody would dare to do something here."

As we pack ourselves into a booth, I get squished between Claire and Davis. The boy in question wraps his arms around my shoulders and presses me into him, a wide smile on his face. "Ah, it's good to see our most studious student having fun!"

I let out a loud laugh as he ruffles my hair, messing up what I spent so long straightening. "Cut me some slack! I have a─"

"A scholarship to uphold, we know", chimes the group in unison, all with smiles on their faces. I huff with a playful eye roll, knowing I said that sentence too often.

I hold up my arms in surrender. "Okay, fair. Now, who's gonna teach me to pool."

Davis drags me away from the booth, Eva walking after us. As they explain the basics and how to launch the balls correctly, the night passes and alcohol starts to flow. Of course, me being a European, I don't get drunk on the weak piss they call beer.

I lean on the pole as I watch Davis gets sluggishly pushed to the right by Eva, exclaiming loudly how it's her turn and not his. "Okay, Davis, let Eva play", I gently tug on his arm, but the guy is determent to play.

He pushes me harshly to the side. I stumble and bump into Claire, who is holding a glass. As we collide, the contents get spilt all over my blouse. I lout a yelp of surprise.

"Oh Gosh, Lex, I am so sorry!" Claire places the half-empty glass and pulls me to the toilet, wetting a paper towel and rubbing out the sticky drink.

"It's okay, I wanted to go home anyway." I push her hands away and take a paper towel to dap up most of the moisture. "Everybody's drunk of their arse, and not the fun kind of drunk", I refer to Davis and Claire nods, knowing how the guy is.

As she washes her hands, Claire remarks, "give me a moment so I can grab my purse."

I shake my head. "Please stay. I know how to get my way back. I rather have you accompany Eva save to her dorm than me, she's the drunk one." I grab both her hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry about me. I have pepper spray in my pocket and have a mean right hook. And if someone really tries something, an alleged mobster is just a call away." I make quotation marks with my fingers in the air as I mention Bucky. 

Before Claire can protest, I quickly convince her with a wide smile. "It's only three blocks. I will be okay, Claire."

She nods reluctantly, letting go of my hand and giving me a quick hug. "If something happens, bolt away. Use those long legs of you to get away as far as possible."

With one last reassuring smile and hug, I make my way out of the bathroom and say goodbye to everybody. I walk out of the bar and tug my leather jacket closer to my body. The temperature has dropped significantly as the sun has lowered herself under the horizon.

I check my phone for the temperature. Five degrees Celcius. It can be colder back home at this time of the year, so not too bad.

I take a turn and walk into an alley, knowing it will save me five minutes so I am in time for my subway. 

Suddenly, a door to my right swings open with force and someone gets thrown out, rolling over the dirty pavement and coming to a stop against the wall on my left, a pained huff escaping their lips.

Another person enters the alley through the door opening, identity hidden by the bright light from behind. They lift their arm and I spot a gun in their hand.

"Oh no", I think out loud, standing very still and holding in my breath.

The figure in the doorway fires three shots, stilling the wheezing body on the ground, slumped against the wall. 

I don't wait for a second longer after the last shot and turn around, bolting out of the alley. Praise to whoever is above there to me putting on sneakers instead of the heeled boots Claire suggested.

Heavy footsteps echo behind me, bouncing off the walls. By the number of footsteps, I count around two or three people after me. I let out a loud yelp as I almost stumble down a flight of stairs I didn't see but quickly recover by jumping down them.

In my mind is the only logical thing to do is to go back to the bar. If I hide within the mass of people, nothing can happen. And Davis is a quarterback, so I'm sure he can protect me. Even in his inebriated state.

Before the bar even comes into my view, a pair of arms wrap around my middle and yank me off the street. My head harshly knocks against the brown bricks and I let out a pained groan.

I try to fight back, pushing the person away from me, but the stars in my eyes and the light feeling in my head don't really help. As I struggle, my hands are pressed together as another pair of hands tie them together with a rope, the harsh material digging into my skin.

"NO! Let go- of me!" I trash around, hitting around with my hands tied together, not giving up so easily. I never fucking imagined my night would end up like the film Taken! My father does not have a very particular set of skills Liam Neeson has. He will not find me and I'll be the one who gets killed in the end.

A loud yelp escapes my lips as I get tossed over a shoulder and carried somewhere. "Set me down! Fuckin─"

My protest gets cut short by a piece of duct tape over my mouth. I get flung into a trunk of a car, the figures looming over me.

"The boss will be delighted knowing we delivered Barnes' girlfriend to him", says the one who carried me over his shoulder. He's bald with a thick head and scars all over his face.

Another one hits him on the side of the head. Short, spikey black hair. "Be quiet, you himbo. She can still hear us." And with that, the lit gets thrown shut just a few centimetres away from my nose.

The car vibrates and comes in motion, taking sharp turns and hitting the breaks with full force. Jezus Christ, the one who's driving really needs to hit the books again. 

When I feel that the car starts to drive again, I know it was just a traffic light and I still have time to break free and get out. 

The first thing I do is ripping the duct tape off my mouth. Idiots didn't even press it firmly onto my skin. I pull it off easily before feeling around for something sharp. When I touch it, I celebrate in silence, quickly cutting through the rope.

After a never-ending minute of heavy sawing, the rope loosens up and I shake it off myself, already searching for the trunk release. Please be stupid, please be stupid. Aha! They are stupid!

I pull the glow-in-the-dark handle and the trunk opens up. I take my chances and fling myself out of the trunk, rolling across the asphalt and scraping my arms in the process.

Not letting myself recover from the shock, I jump up with jelly in my legs and run away as fast as possible. I grab my phone from my back pocket, praying that it didn't break. Wonder above wonder, it didn't.

I look around and see a narrow lane going to a private garden. I take my chances and bolt into the garden, distancing myself as far away from the entrance and hiding behind a large bush.

With shaking hands, I take out the business card and dial the number. I try to get my breathing under control as the tone rings.

"Bucky Barnes spea─"

"Bonky it's me, Lex. I don't have a lot of time, so listen", I interrupt Bucky as soon as he answers the phone, using the stupid name I wrote on the business card as an indication it's me. "I just escaped a car trunk and now two guys are after me. If you are actually the mobster people say you are, help me."

"Where are you? Do you have my card with you?" The words leave Bucky's mouth quickly, already on his feet by the rustling in the background.

I frown, peaking over the bush. "Yes? But what the fuck has that to do with anything?", I hiss softly, heaving.

"I'll be there in no time, stay where you are. And stay on the phone, talk to me. What do you see?" It's no question, but an order.

My eyes flicker quickly around me, immediately going back towards the entrance of the place. "I'm in some sort of private garden, but the gate isn't locked. There are plants and trees, big ones--"

I stop talking and clasp a hand over my mouth as footsteps approach. A figure stops at the entrance and peers into the garden. I hold my breath, scared to even make a sound.

"Lex? LEX?!", yells Bucky over the phone and I wince.

"Shut up", I hiss back, pressing the phone against my chest to muffle out the sounds.

The figure standing at the entrance snaps his head in my direction, stilling and listening for any more sounds. We stay like this for a minute or so, but to me, it feels like an eternity.

With one last look, the figure moves further and I let out a relieved breath. "How long until you're here?", I whisper, tears filling my eyes.

"Almost there, princess. Is it a gate with vines growing up to it?"

I nod but remember he can't see it. "Yes, that's the one."

The sounds of tires screeching to a stop makes me look up from my hiding place, my eyes peeking over the bush. A figure walks in with something pressed against their ear.

"Is that you?", I ask in a whisper and the figure whips around, their eyes searching everywhere.

"It's me", I hear through the telephone and echo against the walls. A relieved cry escapes my lips as I jump up from my hiding spot and rush towards Bucky. I throw my arms around him and sob into his chest. I have never been this scared in my life.

A bit surprised, he wraps his arms around me and places a hand on the back of my head. "It's okay, I'm here. You're safe."

We stay like this for a minute, me sobbing my heart out and Bucky holding me close to him, as suddenly a voice behind us speaks up. 

"The area is clear, Sir. No sign of anyone", says the person firmly but with a slight quiver in his voice.

Bucky nods and pushes me away from his body, wiping the tears off my cheeks with his thumbs. "Come, doll. Let's get you somewhere save."

Without much reaction or protest from me pulls Bucky me away and into a car, safely tucked into his arms on the backseat. 

The whole drive towards I don't know where is spent in silence, his eyes focussed on me as I watch the outside rush past. 

"Are you coming?", he asks as the car comes to a stop and someone opens up the door for Bucky.

I nod absentmindedly. "Yeah, just give me a moment", I mumble, not really paying attention to which language I am speaking. 

Bucky nods but holds out his hand for me to take. He holds it up for as long as I need that minute before I finally find the strength to move. I lay my hand in his and he pulls me out of the car.

He pulls me towards the house or whatever it is. I'm not really paying attention to it. My focus is more around me, in search of two familiar faces.

"Hey", whispers Bucky softly, pulling my attention to him. "They aren't here. Whoever did this-" Bucky refers to my scraped arms and knees "-will never hurt you again. I promise. Shall we get those wounds checked out?"

I answer with a slight nod and let him lead me towards a kitchen. With a bit of help from Bucky, I hop on the kitchen island. My eyes follow the mobster as he moves around, pulling a first aid kid from a cabinet.

"So... you really are a mobster, then?", I ask softly to break the silence, the question resting for a while on my lips. I hiss as Bucky presses a cotton ball to my arms to disinfect the wounds.

"In theory." Bucky shrugs casually.

I frown and scrunch up my face. "In theory? Dude, you are or you are not. It's not a fifty-fifty question." I pull my arm away slightly, but Bucky grabs it firmly to wrap both of my arms in bandages.

Bucky glances at me but keeps quiet.

"So this is really The Godfather. By the way, did someone get kidnapped in The Godfather?"

The mobster stops what he is doing and looks up at me. "You have seen the movie, you should know."

A stifled laugh leaves my lips as I shake my head. "I never finished it. I stopped after ten minutes or so because... I don't actually know. But I didn't go further than the wedding."

Bucky lets out an exaggerated sigh, dropping his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. "You are... impossible." He finished up cleaning the scrapes on my arms and knees, applying a soothing balm to the burn marks on my wrists.

I sigh deeply and suppress a yawn, a hand clasped in front of my mouth. A soft smile forms on Bucky's face and he tugs on my elbow, nudging me off the counter.

"Let's get you to a nice bed so you can sleep. Are you able to sleep on your own?", teases Bucky with that oh so familiar smirk of his.

I roll my eyes as I follow him up the stairs. "Do I look like a child to you?"

"No- I...", he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I meant, do you feel safe to sleep on your own or do you need someone to keep watch over you?"

My cheeks slightly head up at the thought of Bucky staying with me for the night. "No need for that, thanks though." I give him a tight-lipped smile, walking through the door Bucky holds open for me.

"You can stay as long as you wish. The bathroom is to the right and there are some spare clothes in the closet." Bucky stands at the foot of the bed as he watches me inspect the room. "I'll leave you to it. Good night, angel."

I nod in acknowledgement and make my way towards the bathroom to wash up before I go to sleep. Now that I am near a bed, I notice how tired I am. All the running and adrenaline has tired me out and now I just want to sleep and forget everything.

After washing up and grabbing a pair of sweats and a shirt from the closet, I slip under the covers and make myself comfortable. Out of all the days that I would fall asleep fast, I wouldn't have guessed today.

Bucky feels wrong watching her sleep. And it's not like he hasn't watched her prior. It's a miracle that she hasn't noticed the tracker in the business card or him following her for days. Call it stalking, call it keeping an eye out for her.

But now that she's here, in his house, sleeping in the guest bedroom, he couldn't help himself to slip into the room and watch her sprawled out on the bed, her dark hair like a halo around her head.

She looks peaceful despite the events of a couple hours ago. Soft huffs and little noises leave her lips as she turns to lay on her side, pulling the covers up to her face.

A soft smile grows on Bucky's face as he walks towards Lex, crouching down so he’s on eye level. He pushes away a couple of strands that have fallen before her face. He places a feathery kiss on her forehead before walking out of the room detriment to finding the motherfuckers who dared to touch her.

He will find them and break every fucking bone in their bodies, one by one, waiting until the pain is subdued and breaking them all over again.

A knock on the door awakes me from my peaceful slumber and I groan loudly. I kick the covers off me and stumble out the bed, swinging open the door and yawning loudly.

Bucky looks at me amused with a slight smirk on his face, his head cocked to the side. "Good morning sweet cheeks, slept well?"

It takes me a moment before I am fully awake. I am definitely not a morning person, I can tell you that. As my mind gets less foggy, I notice Bucky's attire. And how casual it is.

It's weird to see him not wearing a suit and tie. He's wearing a pair of dark jeans and a shirt. It's so simple, but he looks hot in it.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I fake a yawn and shrug. "It was great until someone decided to wake me up from it. How late is it anyway?"

Bucky snorts. "How late is it? You Englished that very well."

I ignore his comment and turn around, making my way back to the bed and climbing in. I hear Bucky tsk and walk after me, looking at how I crawl back under the covers with an amused smile.

"Let me be with my very good grammar", I grumble, my voice muffled by the blankets and pillows before I throw them off me. "What do you want anyway?"

Bucky makes his way across the room, sliding open the blinds so sunlight can filter through, shining straight in my face. "I am going to work and I need you to come with me."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Do I have to?", I whine, not really looking forward to being locked up in an office all day. Or going with him to some dingy warehouse to torture people. At least, I think that he does that. "Can't you just drop me off at my place? Or... I stay here, comfortable, in bed."

A deep sigh leaves the mob boss' lips as they press themselves in a thin line. "No way I am leaving you alone, snookums. I don't trust it..." In the end, he trails off, his voice going quieter like he's deep in thought.

Dear God! These nicknames are getting more idiotic with time. "Snookums? Really? Besides, don't you trust me?"

At my accusation, Bucky turns his head abruptly towards me. "Not trusting you? Sugar, it's no you who I don't trust. It's my men. You were kidnapped in my territory by unknown men. Who knows, maybe they were my men." He starts to pace back and forth, a hand on his chin as he thinks out loud.

"Correction", I say as I stand up from the bed, walking towards the bathroom, "I was in Queens, and not on the border between Queens and Brooklyn." 

Bucky follows me into the bathroom. "Oh muffin, you don't think that I only own Brooklyn, do you?" He speaks to me like explaining something simple to a small child.

I roll my eyes annoyed. "Whatever dude." I turn on the sink and start to wash my face, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes with cold water. "Just... let me grab something to do from my place."

As I dry off my face, I turn towards Bucky, who's leaning against the doorpost. His hands in the pockets of his jeans and a smirk on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing." He shakes his head with a smile before turning around and walking out of the bedroom. "Be ready in ten, buttercup."

Lo and behold, I make my way down fully dressed and ready to go ten minutes later. Pretty impressive for the gal who takes forty-minute showers.

At the sound of my footsteps on the stone stairsteps, Bucky looks up from his phone from the couch. He has changed out of his jeans and shirt into a suit. 

It's just a simple dark suit but his tie is fabulous. It has a floral pattern in red. It's nice, brings out the pale blue colour of his eyes.

"Ready?", he asks me as he gets up, putting his phone in the inside pocket of his jacket.

I nod, walking after him towards the front door. "Nice tie", I compliment with a genuine smile. "That colour suits you."

Bucky looks perplexed at my soft voice and stops abruptly in his steps. I only notice it once I've reached the car and he's not next to me. With a raised eyebrow, I turn back towards Bucky who's still standing at the front door.

"You okay?" I cock my head to the side now with both my eyebrows raised. "Come on dude, I had to hurry. And can we please get something for breakfast on the way? I'm starving!" I get into the car, clearly not seeing the look in Bucky's eyes.

I skip up the stairs to my apartment, a breakfast burrito in my hands. It's only one floor so no need to take the lift.

As I grab my keys, the door swings open and a very worried Claire stands before me with the fattest frown on her face.

"You're safe, thank God!", she yells, pulling me into my apartment. She checks all over me, her hands touching every part of my body. "What the fuck happened?! Why are you all bandaged up? And why didn't you text me when you got back?"

A sigh leaves my lips. Shit. I always text her when I arrive back home when we're going out.

"Right, sorry Claire", I begin, not really knowing how to explain what happened last night. "Something... came up and I totally forgot to text you. Sorry for worrying you." I grab both her forearms and push her hands off me.

I push past her and start to collect my laptop and all the necessities I need for it. Claire trails behind me like a puppy while making agitated noises.

"Did he do this to you?" She refers to my bandages. "I told you he was no good news, and look where it got you!"

I stop in my tracks and turn around furiously. I open my mouth, but before I can snap at Claire for being idiotic another voice is ahead of me.

"I did no such thing", hisses Bucky angrily. He stands in the opening of my front door with an enraged look on his face, his stance rigid and a vein bulging on the side of his temple.

A whimper leaves Claire's lips as she sees the mob boss standing in my home, his anger pointed towards her. She quickly hides behind me scared. Bucky scoffs as he looks away.

With a shake of my head, I choose to stay silent and pack further my backpack.

"What going on?", asks Claire in a whisper, clinging to my arm.

I make eye contact with Bucky across the room. He gives me a slow nod, his eyes still trained on Claire and her hands on me.

"I got kidnapped last night, that's what happened. And thanks to Bucky, I am standing here. And for the injuries... I jumped out of a moving car. That's all you need to know." I pull my arm out of her grip and walk towards Bucky.

"All I need to know? Jesus Christ, Lex! Do you know how worried I was? And now you turn up here with bandages and a mob boss?!" Claire stands in the middle of my living room and points with an open hand to Bucky, her chest rising rapidly.

I stare at the ground in an attempt to stay calm. "Yeah, well... it's not like my choice to be kidnapped, Claire. I was fucking lucky Bucky was only a call away." I move past Bucky, towards my door. "See you on Monday", I say before walking out of my apartment and towards the stairs.

Once Bucky enters his car, I am already strapped in and ready to go with a scowl on my face. He hesitates for a minute, his mouth opening and closing. But, he opts to stay silent and just starts the car. 

The whole trip to whatever Bucky's taking me, I don't say a thing and neither does Bucky. 

As the car stops in an underground parking lot, I lick my lips, searching for the right words. Instead of what happened with Claire, I choose to move on.

"So, what do you do exactly?", I ask as I hop out of the car, my backpack slung over my shoulders.

Bucky gives me a pointed look and walks through the glass doors that automatically slide open and into an already ready elevator. I trail after him like a puppy, holding on tight on the straps of my backpack.

The ride up is silent and a bit tense, as Bucky furiously types away on his phone with his everlasting frown on his face.

With my head slightly crooked, I study him. "If the bells in Rome ring three times, your face will be a permanent scowl", I say teasingly, Bucky's eyes stapping up to me.

The frown thickens and I chuckle. With just a slight hesitation, I take a step closer to him and smooth out the wrinkles between his brows. 

"Wha- what?", he mumbles confused, his arms dropping next to his body and his gaze going all over my face.

I give him a half-smile as I take a step back. "It's a thing my grandma always said to me when I pulled a silly face. It rhymes in Dutch."

The elevator dings and the doors slide open, revealing an empty hallway. I look expectantly towards Bucky to see if he moves out of the elevator or not. But he just stares dazed at me, an unreadable look on his face.

"Is this... our floor?", I ask hesitant, not sure what to do.

Bucky snaps out of... whatever that was and hurries out of the metal box on a wire. I follow behind him, keeping my eyes on the ground as people approach Bucky.

By now I know that it's better to know nothing about the mob so I zone out of their conversation and only pay attention when my name is said.

"Sorry, what?", I say, blinking a couple of times and looking up to Bucky and the person beside him.

He's tall, built like a tree and has dirty blond hair. A clean-shaven face reveals a strong jawline.

"This is Steve Rogers, my second hand. If you have questions and can't find me, Steve will help you." Bucky points towards the man.

I smile up at him and hold out my hand. "Nice to meet you, Mr Rogers. Alexia Seijters, but I prefer Lex or Alex." The handshake is firm and short, but Mr Rogers squeezes a bit too much. 

I massage my hand as I turn to Bucky. "Does he know about... yesterday?"

Bucky nods and I look back at Mr Rogers. "I am sorry to be intruding, Mr Rogers. I wanted to go home and lock myself in there. But someone has to always get his way." I playfully take a yap at Bucky and Steve throws his head back to laugh loudly, grabbing his left peck.

"Oh Lord, you are one to keep. I'm sure you'll be two hands on one belly with Sam. And call me Steve, darling. No need for formalities." Steve smiles at me and grabs my shoulder, steering me away from Bucky.

I grimace. "What's with your kind of people and giving nicknames? I bet he doesn't even know what my name is with the number of nicknames he has given me."

Steve looks over his shoulder towards Bucky, his eyes amused. "Oh? And they are?"

Humming, I think deeply. "Doll, darling, angel, princess. And those are not even the worst. Buttercup, sweet cheeks, snookums. That one is just the cherry on top." Steve and I snicker as he brings me into an office.

Bucky has a scowl on his face again as he chews on his bottom lip. He chooses to stay silent and just glare at us as he lets himself fall in the big leather chair behind a desk.

"And do you have a nickname for him too? As in payback?" Steve leans against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest, the amused look still prominent in his eyes.

"Well... I'm not a big nicknamer, but on occasions─"

"Lex...", warns Bucky sternly, his jaw clenching.

I poke my tongue out. "Bonky. I call him Bonky." 

Steve throws his head back again whilst laugh loudly, like very loud. A smile creeps on my face as I watch the man stumble towards the desk and nudge Bucky's side. The latter just gives Steve a grimace.

"Are you done? Because we got things to do", grumbles Bucky as he stands up and walks towards the door.

Before he leaves the office, he turns towards me. "Stay here, you understand? I'll be in my office just a couple of doors to the left. And when you can't find me, or if I'm busy, find Steve."

I nod with a roll of my eyes. "Yes, I understand. I am not a child." I make my way towards the desk and plop down on the chair, my backpack in my lab.

Bucky gives me one last pointed look before leaving the office, Steve trailing behind him with a smile and a wave.

As the door closes, a question pops up in my head. Where's the toilet?

I managed to delay my trip to the bathroom for as long as I can, but after four hours the need to pee is high. So, I slam my laptop close, grab my phone and set out to venture around the office in search of either Steve, Bucky, or the sign for a toilet.

I peek my head out of the office and see that the floor is completely empty. I mean, it's a Saturday so I don't expect office workers running around right now. 

After walking around the office, I conclude that Steve's nowhere to be seen and Bucky's in his office. I make my way towards Bucky's door and press my ear against it to hear if he's in a meeting or not.

The door gets pulled open and I get yanked into the office, a gun pressed against my temple as someone wraps his arm around my torso to keep me in place.

"We've got an eavesdropper, sir."

I trash around and bite the person holding me in their arm. Which earns me a slap against my cheek and I fall to the ground. My left cheek starts to glow as it stings.

"Little bitch", growls the person who hit me ─ and I bit ─ and cocks his gun.

Suddenly, the guy gets punched in his face and he stumbles back. Bucky grabs him by the front of his shirt and pulls him up. 

"Don't you dare to lay a single finger on her, you understand", he spits fuming, a vein bulging on the side of his neck. "If I ever see that again it will be the last time you touch anything."

Two hands wrap around my upper arms and pull me up, placing me on a chair. "Are you okay, pumpkin?", asks Bucky as he presses a cool hand to my cheek.

I hiss and pull away. I move my jaw and grimace at the stinging pain. "That's gonna leave a bruise." Pressing my own hand to the tender flesh carefully, I glance up at Bucky. "I came asking where the toilet was but do you guys have something against toilets or something?"

Bucky chuckles as he pulls me out of the chair and leads me towards a small kitchenette. He helps me get on the counter and wets a towel, pressing it against my cheek. "Hold it there."

I do what he says and watch Bucky lean against the kitchen counter, his eyes trained on the floor.

"It's a very familiar setting, isn't it?", I say to lighten the mood. But my comment earns a glare from Bucky.

He folds his arms in front of his chest. His sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing well-tanned skin. I lick my lips and look away, trying to get my mind out of the gutter.

"This is not something to joke about. You could have died!" Bucky huffs harshly.

I roll my eyes at Bucky's dramatics. Why is he suddenly so up and about it? "Don't pull that tone with me, Buck-o. It's not my fault I got held at gunpoint. And let's not forget about the kidnapping." I hop off the counter and stand in front of Bucky, my hands on my hips.

His eyes narrow as his brows knit together. "Oh? And who's is it then?"

"Yours!" My breathing is quick as I look up at him, my eyes a challenge.

Bucky pokes his tongue against the wall of his cheek, his foot tapping agitated against the floor. He closes his eyes to keep his cool. "Then leave", he says emotionless.

I raise one eyebrow. "Oh, so now I can? Or will I be forced to spent somewhere I don't want to be?"

Bucky huffs angrily. "Fucking leave!", he yells from deep within his chest, his breath knocking into my face.

I take a precautious step back as I see veins bulge out from the side of his head. Without any more words, I turn around and walk back to the office, angrily stuffing my belongings back into my backpack and marching towards the elevator.

"Where are you going?", questions Steve as I pass him in the hallway, his hand grabbing my upper arm.

I jank it out of his grip and keep walking towards the elevator, angrily hitting the button to go down multiple times. "Tell that hypocritical bag of hay that he can suck it!"

Steve looks absolutely lost when I get into the elevator and close the door by pressing the button repeatedly. The whole way down I am fuming with anger, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

How dare he be angry at me while he is the one that got me in this shit in the first place.

I whip out my phone and scroll through my contacts for someone to pick me up. I can't ask Claire, she's probably still angry at me, I can't ask Gladace obviously, Eva can't drive. So, Davis, it is. I dial his number, one foot bouncing as I pray that he picks up.

"Waddup, cheese eater", says Davis' cheery voice from the other side of the connection.

I roll my eyes at the nickname. "Hi, can you pick me up? I am somewhere in Brooklyn and calling you is so much cheaper than a Uber."

Davis snorts. "Sure, be on my way. Can you send me the address?" 

I hum and say goodbye to him, sending my location to him and sitting down on the pavement, scrolling through my Instagram feed.

Maybe five minutes later comes Davis rolling around the corner on a motor. He stops in front of me and throws an extra helmet at me. I quickly put the helmet on and hop on the back of his bike, tightly holding on to his shoulders as he speeds away.

The drive back towards is thank God not that long as Davis speeds over the road. Once we reach my apartment, turns Davis the motor off and helps me climb off it. I give back the helmet with a small smile.

"Thanks for the ride, see you on Monday." I give him a wave as I pull out my keys from my jacket.

"Hey...", says Davis, making me turn around. "Are you okay? I mean between you and your boyfriend?"

I knit my eyebrows together. Boyfriend? "Oh! You mean Bucky? God no, thank not." I chuckle awkwardly, scratching the back of my head. "He's more... a persistent force for the last couple of weeks."

Davis nods, an unreadable look before he hops back onto his bike, saying, "see you on Monday!", before driving off.

With a shake of my head, I turn towards my building and unlock the door, slipping in and walking up the stairs.

Bucky storms into his office, slamming the door close and letting himself fall on his desk chair and putting his hands in his hair.

He fucked up, he royally fucked up with Lex. There is no comming back from that. And he knows she's right, and that's why he got so angry. He knows that it's his fault for dragging her into his life, for bringing her into danger when she was just passing through a fucking alleyway.

The door to his office opens and Steve storms into the room, a worried look on his face. "Why is Lex leaving and why are you a, and I quote, a hypocritical bag of hay?" Steve does air quotations at what Lex called Bucky.

A humourless laugh leaves Bucky's lips at Lex's words. Even when angry she is cute.

"I...", Bucky sighs deeply. "She wanted to ask me something but lingered too long before the door. One of those imbeciles thought she was eavesdropping. In short, she bit him and he hit her.

"I guess that I reacted my anger out on her and... fuck!" He curses loudly, hitting his desk, causing a glass to fall off and hitting the ground, shattering on impact.

Steve hisses at his idiot friend. "Listen, go after her if you feel so guilty. Tell her you're sorry for being angry at her. That will do the trick."

Bucky jumps up and bolts out of the office, swinging open the doors to the stairwell as the elevator will take too long. He comes bursting through the door just as Lex drives away on the back of someone’s motor.

He curses loudly and pinches the bridge of his nose. As Bucky watches them drive away, he notices something on the back of the motor. A black sticker with a red skull and tentacles.

"God damnit." He grabs his phone and dials a number. "Yeah, it's me. They fucking got her."

I slam the door of my apartment and a sigh leaves my lips. I slide down the door and thread my hands in my hair, pulling my knees up to my chin.

"Lex?", asks Claire as she stands at the end of the couch, a worried look on her face.

I look up and sniff, tears swelling in my eyes. I jump up and rush towards her, engulfing her in a hug. "I am so sorry", I cry out, "it's been so mentally draining and I took it out on you. Which you don't deserve!"

Claire pats my back, hugging me tightly. "What has happened, Lex. Please, tell me so we can fix it."

I take a step back and shake my head, wiping the tears off my cheeks. "You were right, I should have stayed away from him..."

A frown forms on Claire's face as she leads me towards the couch, sitting me down and walking towards the kitchen and filling the kettle while grabbing mugs from the cabinets.

"La... last night, when I left, I took a wrong turn, so to say. A-and these two guys saw me seeing them shoot a person. I-I-I didn't know what to do so I just ran. But they caught up with me and kidnapped me, locked me up in a trunk." I look down in shame and wipe away a tear that has rolled down my cheek.

A gasp leaves Claire's lips as she covers her mouth with her hand. "How... how did you escape? What did they do to you?" She grabs my face and turns it from side to side, inspecting if I have any bruises.

I take a step back, wrapping my arms around my body protectively. "Nothing happened, not really. I escaped out of the trunk before anything..." I swallow thickly. "Hey, I'm gonna take a shower and just sleep. Is that okay?"

Claire nods with a frown, glancing at the clock on the wall. "Yeah- no, of course. Do you need me to go?" She points towards the door.

With a shrug, I turn towards the bathroom. "I don't care. I'm sorry, I'm just exhausted." 

Wordlessly, I leave her standing in the middle of the living room. I strip myself off my clothes and sit on the closed toilet seat lid as I wait for the shower to heat up. 

Ugh, I hate these crap showers of the states. Those back home are just in an instant warm and don't run out of hot water. What kind of bullshit is that?

Before I enter the shower, I hear the slam of my front door. I sigh heavily. It's maybe for the better. 

After a scorching hot shower ─ that was more sitting on the tiled floor and scrubbing off the many hands that have been laid on me these past two days ─ I put on the largest sweater I have and lay in bed, pulling up Netflix on my laptop and playing The Good Place, my comfort show.

My eyes start to droop as soon as the second episode is finished and I groan. I have to close my drapes if I want to sleep.

I roll out of bed, and as I grab the curtains, I see a familiar car with a familiar Blond leaning against it. He lifts his hand in a wave, a cigarette in between his lips, making eye contact with me. 

A yelp escapes my lips and I close the blinds quickly, crouching down. I breathe heavily. How could I be so stupid? Bucky knows where I live, of course, Steve knows too! Wait, if Steve is here, does that mean that Bucky is here too?

I hold my breath, listening to any footsteps. I crawl on my hands and knees through my apartment towards the front door and lay my ear against it. I hear nothing, not a single sound from the other side of the door. Slowly, I raise to my feet and look through the peephole. Nothing.

I'm not yet reassured of my safety and in a whirlwind, I lock every possible entrance and close every blind. Only after double-checking, I make my way towards my bedroom, locking that door too and getting under the covers, pulling it up to my chin.

I pray to whoever is up there that this is the only ─ and last ─ time that I see Steve.

Spoiler alert! It wasn't.

As soon as I leave my building to go to school the following Monday, Steve is at the same spot as Saturday. Only this time he's seated in his car.

He drives towards me and slows down, rolling down the window. "Good morning, Lex."

I nod towards him in acknowledgement, gripping the straps of my backpack as I continue walking towards the metro. I can't show him or anyone else that I am petrified.

"Buck's sorry, you know?"

The statement makes me scoff. "Oh yeah, why isn't he here then? Why has he send you instead of comming himself and apologising?" I glare towards the blond, not stopping once.

Steve sighs, his left hand resting on top of the steering wheel. "You haven't come out of your apartment all weekend, he was getting worried."

I roll my eyes. "You know, Steve, he can put his apology up his butt, with these two." I flip him the bird, which is not very classy but what mom doesn't know, won't hurt her.

As I pick up the pace, I feel Steve following me in his car. The feeling stays for the whole week, and I know for a fact that Bucky has ordered Steve to follow or watch over me. He is not subtle about it. 

I always see the car on the other side of the street when I open my drapes, he follows me as I go to school, and I see Steve hanging around my school campus when I switch buildings or go for lunch with my friends.

Bucky hasn't shown his face in over a week, the coward that he is. I expected a lot more balls from the mob boss.

The first time when I am not followed is when me and my friends into a club where I don't know the name of.

The loud bass of the music drones through my body, Davis' arms around me as he pulls me into the dark nightclub. A smile is on his face while he leads me towards the bar. He motions to the bartender two shots, the bartender nodding.

"Is this really necessary", I whine, wobbling uncomfortably on my high heels ─ that I had to wear from Eva ─ in a top that's way too sheer for my liking. Where even is she? Claire couldn't come, something about being sick off her ass.

Davis ignores my whining and shuffling from one foot to the other. "Drink up!", he yells over the music, shoving a shot in my hands. 

I comply and swallow the shot, my face turning sour at the bitter taste that slides down my throat. "That's disgusting", I groan out loud, shivering.

The guy just laughs at my misery and pulls me towards the dance floor, moving on the beat. "You need to let loose, girl! You kept looking over your shoulder the whole week like you're being followed." He chuckles.

I laugh humourlessly. Was it that obvious? "Oh, well, tough week", I smile forced, brushing it off. "You know what, I'm going for another drink." I point towards the bar and alk off the dance floor.

As I take place at the bar, Eva appears out of thin air with two drinks in her hands. "There you are", she smiles, handing me one glass, "I was looking all over you."

I take it and sip. "Davis dragged me to the dance floor, you know how he is. Do you by the way know what's with Claire? I only get a text from her that she couldn't come." I pout, missing my best friend.

Eva seems to tense up a little bit at my mention of Claire. "She told me she was punking as her life depends on it, I think food poisoning." The girl shrugs, taking the straw between her fingers and drinking.

I frown. "Oh, I told her not to eat that salad yesterday. It looked suspic- ious." My head starts to spin and I scrunch up my face.

"Everything okay?" Eva lays a hand on my shoulder and I nod.

"Y-yeah, just feeling a bit light-headed. I'm probably going to look for a quiet place..." I stand up from the barstool but stumble over my own feet. Stupid high heels.

A pair of firm hands hold me up, tightly gripping my shoulders. "What wrong?", asks Davis, concern laced in his voice.

"She's not feeling well. Let's get her somewhere... quiet." 

The way Eva says the last word makes me frown and I look up but Davis is already dragging me somewhere, following behind Eva. We make our way out of the main space, as the flickering lights and loud music decreases with every second we venture through the dark halls.

I try to fight off Davis' hands, but this sudden sickness has hit me like a freight train. I stumble over my feet, almost twisting my ankle as I get lead outside, towards a car.

"Wha-what?", I ask meekly as my head gets pushed down and into the car. I land unceremoniously on the backseat, quickly scrambling up to compose myself despise the immense dizziness.

Davis climbs next to me, pulling me against his body and pressing a cloth against my mouth. He shushes me while holding me in a headlock, not letting me move away from the cloth.

I put up a good fight for the state I am in. After I don't know how long, everything starts to blur together and my eyes start to get droopy.

"Yeah, we got his girl, make sure the boss is notified", is the last thing I hear before I pass out in Davis' arms.

When I wake up again, I am seated on a wet, dirty floor with my right hand cuffed up to a radiator pipe. I groan as a headache hammers through my skull, getting worse with the second. 

As I reach up to hold my head, the handcuff clanks loudly against the pipes and I hiss. Son of a bitch, that hurts like a buttcheek on a stick.

The ratling of my movement seems to alert someone as a handful of footsteps are walking towards me. I lean back and look at the people approaching me. Surprise surprise, it is all men.

I scan the faces and notice a familiar face with short, dark hair. "You", I say, narrowing my eyes.

The guy chuckles menacingly. "Good to see you too, princess."

My face contorts in disgust at the stupid nickname. Okay, maybe it's not that bad when Bucky does it.

I grow impatient as the group of middle-aged men stare at me, conversing in hushed tones. "Is someone going to tell me why I am here or do I have to wait until you guys die of old age to get out of here?"

The comment earns me a slap against my cheek. Tears swell into my eyes but I hold them back, they don't deserve them.

An older gentleman bends over at the waist, his hand tracing the side of my face with a gloved hand before grabbing a fist full of my hair and yanking my head back so that I am looking directly into his eyes. "Here's how we're going to do, sweetheart." His tone is threatening and demeanour that yells that he's in charge.

"Oh, so you're like the boss?", I ask, the man nods. "Aren't you a little too old to be playing cops and robbers?" I smirk smugly.

A knife gets pulled out from somewhere and pressed against my cheek, the blade almost digging into my skin. "I see, you're a talker. I more pegged you for whimpering and begging, guess I was wrong."

I scoff. "The only pegging happening here is you getting fucked in the ass." The words leave my mouth before I realize it. It results in the tip of the knife getting pressed in my cheek. A drop of blood travels down my cheek, stopping at my jaw. 

"Listen here, little girl, I don't want to hurt you. But if you keep up this... defiant act, I must punish you." The man scolds me like I'm a child, patting my cheek with his hand, smearing the blood all over.

I turn my head to the side and sneer. Who does this middle-aged man think he is? The king?

"This is how we're going to do the following", says the man as he stands up straight, his hands in his pockets. Behind him, a goon carries a tri-pot with a phone on it. "We're going to record a video message for your boyfriend and you, my dear, are going to play nice."

Boyfriend? Why does everybody think Bucky's my boyfriend.

"Look, you mentally deficient Baba Yaga! He's. Not. My. Boyfriend!" I puncture every word with a stomp of my shoes. It's not really impressive since the high heels don't sound heavy when they hit the floor, but it gets the point across.

The men laugh and get to work, setting up to record the video. The dark-haired guy walks towards me with a rag. He ties the rag behind my head and pushes the fabric between my lips. I manage to bite him once, which earns me a stop against my nose.

My nose lets out a sickening crunch and my eye water from the impact. I let my head drop.

The guy yanks my head back up by my hair and makes me look straight at the camera. A soft whimper leaves my mouth when I spot myself on the screen; my nose is crooked and blood drips out of one nostril, my left eye is pink, already turning thick, the cut on my cheek much bigger than it feels like.

"Listen, Barnes", begins the elder man, gripping my jaw, his grip bruising, "you have something of ours. And in return, we took something of yours." He shakes my head.

I pull my face out of his grip and try to get as far as possible away from him with one handcuffed to a radiator pipe. "I'm not his, you abominable twat!"

The man pulls out a gun, aiming it at me. I make eye contact with him and press my forehead against the barrel. "Shoot me, you coward. Do it!", I yell, my voice echoing through the empty warehouse.

He looks taken aback for a second before raising the gun and hitting me on the head with the back of it, knocking me down.

I yelp and lay on the ground, my head resting on top of my underarm after it slammed on the ground. I stay there while the men clean up the tripod and file out of the warehouse, one or two falling behind. They set up a table and start to play poker or some sort of card game.

Sam comes bursting through the door with a tablet in his hands. "Buck, this came in just now." He shoves the tablet under Bucky's nose and presses play.

Bucky's stomach drops as he sees her beaten and tied up, Pierce toying with her before pulling out his gun. A slight proud feeling bubbles up in him as he sees his girl mouth back Pierce. But that soon drops as he sees her get hit before the video ends.

Steve leans over Bucky's shoulder, a bag of frozen peas against his head. "Shit", he curses under his breath.

"Find where this came from. I don't care how many calls you need to make or what you need to do, do it quickly", orders Bucky loudly while trusting the tablet back into Sam's hands. He nods and hurries away, typing furiously on the tablet.

"Look, pal, I am so sorry." Steve frowns as he feels responsible for Lex's kidnapping. He was attacked when he was taking a break, eating dinner on the corner of the street, his attention on Lex's apartment. They got him from behind, beating him with a pipe so he was knocked out.

Bucky shakes his head, walking towards one of the windows of his home office. "If someone is to blame, it's me. Hydra took her when I least expected it, I should have been who should have been hit, not you." A deep sigh leaves Bucky's lips. "Why was she clubbing? Lex never clubs..."

Suddenly, an idea gets stuck in Steve's head. "Does Lex still carry around the tracker?"

Bucky turns towards his friend, eyes wide. "I think she does." He rushes towards his laptop and with just a couple of clicks, he sees Lex's location.

He jumps up from his chair and grabs his guns, sliding them into their holsters while rushing out of his office, Steve following closely behind.

"Call the fucking Odinson's and say we are ruling in our favour. She's at Fort Hancock, New Jersey."

"Were we even real friends?", I ask weakly, lifting my head to look at Davis. He shuffles from one foot to the other, guilt written over his face.

Davis grabs a metal chair and places it next to me. I turn my face away and stubbornly stay seated on the cold ground. "I don't need that fucking thing, thank you very much."

A sigh leaves his lips. "I can't speak for Eva, but I really saw you as a friend."

I scoff. Of course, he can't speak for Eva, the girl is as vague as she can be. "What do you want, Kowalzky? Cut the bullshit and spill the fucking beans. I have more things to do today."

A whistle comes from behind Davis and the guy that kidnapped me walks towards Davis, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "She's feisty, isn't she? It must be the European blood that makes her so fucking hot." He gives me a sick grin, sending shivers up my spine.

Davis pulls up his shoulders, cowering at the other guy's presence. "Yes, Mr Rumlow."

Rumlow laughs loudly, holding up a pipe of some sorts and Davis grabs it with trembling hands, wrapping both hands around the metal bar. "Go on then, end your precious friendship with that whore."

I close my eyes, scrunching my face together as I await the impact of him hitting me somewhere on my body. But it doesn't come. Davis stands shaking next to Rumlow, the pipe in his hands.

"I can't", he whispers, dropping his head.

Rumlow tsks and pulls a gun from the holsters hanging from some sort of vest, whatever the thing is called. "Hit her or I will shoot", he warns, grabbing the back of Davis' neck and forcing him towards me.

The boy just shakes his head and let the bar fall out of his hands. Rumlow clicks his tongue, raising the gun and shooting me in my right shoulder.

I let out a loud yell and double over, which causes more pain as I can't freely move my cuffed hand. I wheeze and reach with trembling hands towards the bullet wound, my hand coating red. A whimper leaves my lips.

Davis looks like a fucking fish, his mouth gaping open and eyes wide.

"Pathetic", growls Rumlow, letting go of Davis and walking towards me. An evil smile spreads on his face as he sees me crawl back, further into the wall with every step he takes to me.

"Oh, baby, such a shame of such-", his eyes trail up and down my body, stopping at my cleavage for a prolonged time, a hungry look in his eyes, "-an exquisite body."

I let the nasty son of a bitch watch me all he likes, knowing I can't do anything about it. The gunshot in my shoulder pulses with pain, the blood dripping down. It makes my shirt stick to my skin.

He smirks. "Not so mouthy now, are we?" He pats my head, brushing my hair out of my face.

"I have nothing to say to you, so why don't you fuck off?" I cock my head to the side and put on the best, sickly sweet smile I can muster. And of course, it earns me a slap.

Rumlow growls and grabs the pipe, raising it above himself and striking down on me. Every blow hurts less than the previous, the pain becoming a numbing sensation.

Defeated, I let the man hit and stomp me as his heart desires, hoping it will stop sooner if I don't react. And after a while, he finally stops, the pipe dripping with blood and not an inch of my body not covered with bruises.

As I lay on the ground, shallow breaths leaving my lips, I make eye contact with Davis and keep it. He has to see what he has done.

I don't bother to sit up when Rumlow and Davis have left, too mentally and physically tired to even move a hair. I don't even know how long has passed when I hear movement again.

Sounds are muffled but I can clearly hear gunshots in the distance. The doors to the side burst open, a body dropping lifeless on the ground.

Oh great, someone is here to kill me. Finally.

A blurry figure comes rushing in, looking around before focussing on me. As the figure comes closer, I see it's a big, blonde man, towering probably over everyone. But anyone looks tall when you're laying on the ground.

I whimper, trying to move away from the man but it's fruitless, I am already pressed against the wall.

The man crouches down and shushes my broken cries, grabbing something from his back pocket and cutting the chain, my hand dropping on my face. I let out a pained yelp at the sudden movement of my shoulder.

Whatever the man is saying while he picks me up, is muffled, but I can only manage to understand one word.

"Bu- Bucky?", I ask shakey. The man nods and leads me outside, to a dock and into a boat.

He lays me down on something soft, making sure my head is resting on a pillow and draping a blanket over me.

I try to express my gratitude, but nothing more than a  heavy sigh leaves my lips. I snuggle into the blanket and pillow and watch how the blonde man walks away, leaving me with someone else to watch over me.

Bucky anxiously stands on the Brooklyn docks, walking back and forth. He can't stay still, not while the life of his baby is in the hands of someone else.

He knows that putting Thor and Loki on the job gets it much faster done, with them being based in New Jersey. That doesn't mean he will have peace until she's back in his arms.

Sam stands on top of a large crate with binoculars in his hands, scanning the waters for any sign of the speedboat of the Odinson's. Steve stands next to him, rolling a cigarette between his fingers and keeping his gun within reach.

"That's them!", Sam yells out as he sees a boat approach them, and he jumps down to stand next to Bucky. Steve does the same and all three hurry to the docking area.

As soon as the boat docks, Bucky jumps on board and rushes towards Thor. "Where is she?", he almost yells, his hands twitching.

Thor leads him down a set of stairs, to a small living space with Loki sitting in the corner, cleaning and polishing his sniper, and a bundle of bloodied blankets laying on one of the couches.

"She's in critical condition. We have to rush her to the hospital right this second if we want her to survive."

Bucky nods curtly, turning towards Steve. "Call Strange and tell him to ready an OR and a private room. Now!"

Everyone moves quickly around him. Sam jumps behind the wheel, Steve next to him with a phone pressed against his ear.

"Bucky?" His name comes out of Lex's lips in a pained wheeze, her eyes opening just a smidge.

He hushes her, laying her on the backseat. "It's okay, just focus on staying awake, okay?"

She nods, her breath leaving her lips laboured. She curls up on the leather seat, letting out a pained whine as her shoulder twits in the process.

Bucky rounds the car so he can place her head on his lap. "Go, now!", he yells to Sam, who floors the gas pedal. They rush away from the docks, towards the private hospital where Strange has prepared an operation room.

They arrive in no time at the hospital, for sure hitting all the traffic violations, but Bucky doesn't care, he has the cops in the palms of his hands. As long as they get Lex safely to the hospital, he doesn't care.

He jumps out of the car, grabbing Lex and taking her into his arms. He grimaces at the cries she lets out in pain as he runs into the hospital.

A stretcher is already waiting for them, Strange next to it with his assistants. "Fix her", asks Bucky as he lays Lex on the stretcher.

Strange rolls his eyes as he pushes the stretcher towards the OR. He starts to list off all her injuries in medical mumbo-jumbo, pulling a small flashlight from his coat and shining it in her eyes.

Lex squints and turn her head away, gaze focussed on Bucky who runs next to the stretcher. She weakly lifts her hand in an attempt, and Bucky understands the gesture. He grips her hand tightly until he is stopped by Strange.

Before Bucky can loudly protest, Strange gives him a look and enters the OR, already barking out orders.

Steve catches up to Bucky and lays a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Let the doctor do his job, Buck. She’s in the best hands now."

It all passes in a blur, the boat ride, the trip to the hospital. The only clear thing was the worried look in Bucky's eyes, his words muffled but hands burning with every touch.

The feels like I've only blinked when I go from a room full of bright lights to the next that's a lot darker, natural light comming in from the side.

I stir, softly groaning at the dull ache all over my body, but a sharp pain in my shoulder. As I try to sit up, a pair of hands push me down. I panic and fight the hands, crawling backwards until I fall on the ground, a pained cry leaves my lips.

"Careful!" A face hovers over me. I blink rapidly until the blurred lines sharpen and Bucky's concerned eyes come into focus.

"Bucky?", I question, my voice raspy as he helps me up from the floor and sets me up on the bed I fell off.

Bucky crouches down, dusting my knees off. "Hi bubs, how are we feeling?"

I frown, trying to connect the dots how I ended up here. "Wha... what happened?" My hand travels towards my right shoulder, my fingers grazing the bandages.

Bucky opens his mouth to say something but gets interrupted by a man in a doctor's coat walking into the room, knocking three times. As he sees me awake, he smiles.

"Ah miss...", the doctor glances down towards a clipboard in his hands, a frown on his face. He's figuring out how to say my last name.

"Just Lex is fine."

The doctor nods. "Well, miss Lex, my name's Doctor Strange. Do you mind me checking your vitals while answering some questions?"

I shake my head, sitting up straight. The doctor grabs a chair and rolls it in front of me, ushering Bucky out of the way. "Can you tell me your full name, age, and where you were born?" He grabs a small flashlight out of his breast pocket and shines it in my eyes.

I squint. "My name is Alexia Gwen Maria Seijters, born October seventh nineteen-ninety-six."

Doctor Strange nods, glancing towards his clipboard. "Very well, can you recall anything that has happened from the last forty-two hours?" He grabs my right arm and bringing it up.

A hiss leaves my lips and I pull my arm out of his grasp, throwing a glance at Bucky. Does this doctor... know, you know? Is he in on the whole mob joke?

"Don't worry", reassures Strange, "I am an associate of Barnes'."

I part my lips, thinking deeply. "I was... I was at a club with my friends- well, turns out they were fake. Oh my God!" I turn towards Bucky in panic. "Please send someone to check up on Claire! Davis said she's sick but I don't know if that's true."

Bucky nods and squeezes my shoulder. "I'll send Steve to check up on her."

"Thanks. So, anyways, Davis took me dancing, Eva gave me something to drink and that's when it all went downhill. I don't remember much from the club to the warehouse, but when I woke up I was cuffed to some pipes."

Strange nods slowly, taking notes. "And do you know what they exactly did to you? How did you sustain most of your injuries."

I gnaw on my bottom lip, hissing as the skin is split and my jaw still hurts. "As far as I know I got drugged, cut with a knife, and beat with both a gun pipe. I don't know if anything more happened while I was unconscious." A shudder runs down my spine at the thought of those barbarians doing... something.

At the way that Bucky stiffens in anger, I know that he and I share the same thought.

Doctor Strange stands up and clicks his pen. "That's all for now, miss Lex. I will send a nurse by to take some blood samples just to be sure there are no lingering drugs in your system."

Bucky and Strange shake each other's hand before the doctor leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

The silence that follows is awkward and fills the room. My eyes fall on the IV that punctures the skin of my hand and kept in place with medical tape, that itches. I start to scratch it, lifting up the edges.

"Stop messing with your IV", says Bucky sternly and he has his famous frown on his face.

I pout. "But it itches."

Bucky shakes his head as he tries to suppress a smile. "I know, bubbles."

A blush forms on my cheeks at the nickname. We stay silent after that, the peeping of my heart monitor giving away my speeding heart and I jank the sensor off of my finger.

Bucky smirks as he sits down on a chair that's stationed next to my bed, his jacket hanging over the backrest.

"Can I ask a question?"

"I have a question."

We say at the same time. Bucky nods for me to go first and I suck in a big gulp of air.

"How did you find me?" The question leaves like a speeding train my mouth and I anxiously await his answer.

He hums, licking his lips before sighing. "Remember that business card I gave you?"

I nod and grab my phone, lifting the case and grabbing the business card. Bucky takes it out of my hand and rips it through the middle. I let out a yelp as I am too attached to the piece of paper than I would like to admit.

As Bucky rips the card up, a small, transparent square reveals itself. Bucky holds it between his thumb and index finger. "A tracker."

A gasp leaves my lips as I grab the plastic thing, squeezing it and almost folding it in half. "When did you put this in?", I ask in wonder and shock.

"When I gave you my business card." Bucky looks guilty at the ground.

I frown. When he gave me the card. At the cafe. But that was months ago!

Bucky sees the realisation in my eyes as I gulp for air like a damn fish. "It was for your own protection!", he says quickly.

"Stalking me?!", I screech out. Now it makes sense. All those times when he suddenly showed up, at the flower shop, at my school. He fucking put a tracker on me!

Bucky stands up from his chair and walks towards one of the windows, his hands in his pockets but his posture rigid. "It's because I am in love with you." His answer comes out in a whisper and I almost missed it if the room wasn't dead silent.

My breath hitches. "And that terrifies me."

For a moment, Bucky doesn't know how to react. His lips are parted while turns to me, his eyes wide.

"It terrifies me that you claim to be in love with me while you barely know me. Do you know my favourite colour, the way that I like my coffee, or even if I sleep with the lights on?"

Bucky shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "Stop it", he whispers.

"And I am terrified for what happens when you do get to know me. What if I'm not what you imagine and you decide to just... off me." I turn my head away, unknowingly scratching and pealing at the tape.

Two hands engulf mine and I look up with big, scared eyes. Bucky has a soft smile on his face while his eyes hold a certain sadness. "Dollface, no.. I would never get tired of you."

He smiles while reaching up to cup my face, his thumbs caressing over my cheekbones. "Let's start over, yeah?"

A smile grows on my face as I watch how Bucky stands up and holds out his hand for me to shake.

"The name's Barnes, Bucky Barnes. And let me take you out on a date."

I giggle and shake Bucky's hand. "Well, Mr Barnes, I'm Lex Seijters. And I heard they have some mean apple pie in the hospital's restaurant."

Taglist (I tagged everyone who liked either of the two posts, lmk if you want yourself removed) : @crazy-fan-101 @anonymous-its-what-i-do @1self-love-club1 @lilacnebulas @pineprincess @saveyourbucky @winter-soldier-101 @beepboopyoda @thealmightybitchgoddess @carolzher @chris-and-seb-are-life @mynameishellosworld @superbflowersludgebear @angel-baby09 @hauntedhandsartistanhoagie @nataliiathorn @gwenavibra @tai00056​ @albmedlin 

[m-oddinsdottir]

DARK COLD NIGHTS • 🐺🌙🐺🌙

John Marston x Fem!Oc

Words: 2,385

Warnings: slightly angsty, wounds, fluff

Summary: After Jude managed to tend to John’s wounds from the wolf attack, she waits for her husband to wake up while the guilt and sorrow slowly hunts her down.

A/N: here’s the part two nobody asked for, sorry if there are any mistakes (english isn’t my first language <3) feel free to correct me or give me some advise/ feedback

Part One. Masterlist

•••

She felt embarrassed.

That was a rather simple and invalidating way to describe the way the knot on her stomach had been making her feel like throwing up the remains of the awful stew. That awful stew made by Pearson that Jude had managed to eat for lunch the day before.

Jude had created a list of words that could explain why her lungs seemed to refuse to receive oxygen each time she looked down at John Marston.

Guilt was the one that headed the list. Guilt for assuming the worst, guilt for believing her husband had abandoned her when he was slowly dying out in the cold, guilt for not having asked the others to go look for John earlier, guilt for not being able to tend to his wounds on her own…

Uneasiness followed it pretty close. Every time she decided to look up from the comfort of her novel’s page and into the ripped off skin of her husband, she felt that damn feeling of not knowing what was going to happen next. Her eyes usually landed on his eye first on that and on the blood stained cloth that covered it. Maybe he could never see through that eye again, maybe its tissue was dead, maybe the nerves had been affected. Maybe, maybe and maybe.

Unworthiness stood out between most of them. That made her chuckle bitterly every single time the feeling invaded her hunting her down like the wolves did with John. Jude found herself unworthy, useless, a burden. She was supposed to be the nurse of the gang, the only person everyone should resort to in case of an emergency. But when the moment of truth arrived, she wasn’t even capable of tending to her husband’s injuries.

It certainly didn’t help that the cabin was filled with other members of the gang. She hated hearing the surprisingly sober reverend constantly quoting verses of the Bible. Not only that, but Ms. Adler’s constant crying was driving her mad and so did Ms. Grimshaw’s strict commands that only served for the women to became more irritated. Jude included.

A few times a day, Charles’ silence presence would keep her company while he checked on John’s wounds. He didn’t even know her husband, he didn’t care about him but it was an excuse to make sure Jude was doing alright.

She would just smile weakly at him before closing her eyes and gently caress John’s hair almost as if her touch could wake him up. Charles would look at her, his brows burrowed together and then he would leave, wait for some hours to pass by and then repeat the same silent process. A silent process that comforted Jude more than she could ever admit.

The only three others who had also checked on John and, therefore, on her were Dutch who had used his enviable gab to comfort her. A hand placed on top of her shoulder as he told her how strong she was for remaining by John’s side and how better times were to come.

One of the two others was Hosea whose gentle souls would reassure her by saying that John loved her and that he would come back to her; apart from highlighting patience as one of human’s most valuable but at the same time most rare virtues.

And finally, Arthur, who had just visited her once. A small frown over his chapped lips from the cold as he looked down at John and pointed out how the bastard of her husband would become even uglier after that. His words apparently cold, yes, but he was the only person that had managed to get an amused smile out of her before nodding in her direction and then leaving.

At least they didn’t look at her with pity.

A strained growl brought her back from the bundle of thoughts that were making her feel lightheaded.

John found himself lying on a bed in a small cabin, wrapped in a warm blanket. The chill of the room was only slightly lessened by the fire lit in the fireplace, the cracking sound being the first thing that fought to fill his ears. The pain of his injuries made each movement a challenge, but the stinging agony in his face was enough to keep him still. ‘Damn, I need a smoke.’ He muttered, the words barely audible as he spoke through the pain.

Jude’s eyes widened as she heard his voice. A shaky sigh of relief escaped her lips as she made herself visible for him and a small frown appeared over her lips before her gaze sharpened like daggers. ‘You need shit, John Marston’ Jude mumbled shakily as her trembling hand moved down to hold his hand as her eyes filled with tears. ‘Must be feeling better if you ask for a cigarette before asking to see your wife first, huh?’

A sense of relief washed over John as his eyes met Jude’s. ‘Can’t a man ask for a cigarette after almost dying?’ He asked while trying to grin which only made him wince in pain. ‘Don’t grin, you idiot… God, John’ She scolded him, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

‘Hey, hey… I’m alright, don’t cry” Marston managed to move his hand up throughout the pain to cup her jaw. The simple gesture made Jude sob as she leaned into his touch.

Footsteps creaked the wooden floor behind them as Ms. Grimshaw commanded everyone to leave the cabin and go to one of the others they were occupying at the moment.

‘Alright?! You were attacked by wolves, John… If Arthur and Javier hadn’t found you-’ Jude trailed off as she roughly wiped away the tears that now stained her flushed cheeks.

‘Don’t’ He spoke, his voice (usually raspy) sounding more strained than ever as he wrapped his hand around her wrists to prevent her from basically hitting her face as she was wiping away the tears that had unavoidable began to fall.

John had never seen Jude cry.

He had seen the sorrow in her eyes before, the way she stubbornly stopped the stinging feeling of her tears as she raised her chin up and held her breath until it would hurt.

Another kind of pain. She had told him once in one of their fights when he frustratingly demanded the meaning behind that behavior. It drove him mad but seeing her cry now… John didn’t know what broke him more. The sight of his wife crying or the sight of her wife trying to hide her despair from being obvious.

John called her name softly and Jude looked into his eyes again. Even like that, a crying mess, her lips broken from the cold, her state deteriorated due to the course of the days in the mountains; Marston couldn’t help but find her… ‘You’re beautiful’ He mumbled.

A bitter chuckle made its way through her crying as she leaned slightly into his touch, turning to rest her forehead against the arm that was holding her wrists.

‘The wolf must have stomped on your head, huh?’

‘For finding my wife beautiful? How am I supposed to find you then?’ John’s thumb began tracing gentle circles around her wrists.

Jude didn’t answer to him as she backed away from his touch to be able to look into his eyes. She sighed and changed her position to lay beside him, a strong scent of blood that was woven into the fabric of the cloths and the bandages around his head immediately flooded her sense of smell. ‘You gave me the warmer coat…’

Marston hummed as an answer, he overlooked the pain to tilt his head on her direction. ‘That I did’

‘We had fought before that’ She whispered and the man’s eyes shined for a second.

‘We did’

The tone he used to say those simple sentences were driving Jude mad. He sounded calm, in peace almost as if nothing of what happened had affected him.

‘Stop doing that’

John’s lips tugged upwards slightly despite the pain. ‘Stop doing what exactly?’

‘Acting as if I… Uh-’ Jude trailed off not really knowing how to describe it and maybe the tears and the headache they had provoked didn’t help either ‘As if I was the best thing you have ever seen in your life’

‘You’re the best thing that I have ever seen in my life’

Jude frowned when his voice sounded again relaxed. He and his calm behavior. The same trait that usually made him come across as serious. An attribute he indeed had, as well as his lack of patience and his cold overall attitude.

But not with Jude. With her, his cold facade was long gone.

‘I thought…’ Jude’s tears threatened to fall from her eyes once again. ‘I thought you had left us… Again’

After her admission, John’s brows burrowed together and he groaned when the sharp pain of the scratches shook his body ‘You really thought I would do that?’

More tears pooled on her eyes as she leaned in closer to bury her face against his arm knowing that there he wouldn’t feel any pain if she rested against it. ‘I should have asked Arthur to go search for you before… Maybe that way you could recover earlier and maybe…’

John interrupted her quickly and despite his pain he managed to encircle his arm around her waist locking her on a tight hug. ‘You couldn’t have known I was attacked by wolves, dear’

‘No, but the first thing I assumed was that you had left when you were out on the cold bleeding out and—’ He gently squeezed her waist to stop her incoherent trail of thought that all ended in her blaming herself.

‘My love… I— This isn’t your fault.’ John moved his hand up from his waist towards her hair, his hand getting tangled between her locks ‘And I… I would never leave the gang again. I would never leave you again’

‘John…’

‘No, Jude. Do I have to get on my knees again for you? I love you. That’s the only thing that matters to me.’ The way he was talking… He was being more serious than ever and those were big words when describing John Marston ‘I go where you go, Jude… Even if that means freezing in the cold with you’

‘Which is why I’m feeling even more guilty for thinking otherwise!’ Jude unconsciously raised her voice at him and then she sighed moving one hand up to rub it against her eyes and prevent more tears to fall.

Her husband groaned and he held her hand pulling it away from her eyes and squeezing it in a tender manner. ‘I’m just trying to do things right… But you have every right to don’t trust me completely, my love’

He was being honest, she knew he was. But a part of her wanted to scream at him, to punch him, to walk away from him due to his understanding behavior. John was trying to reassure her and lord was he succeeding at doing so.

‘I trust you. I do.’ Jude whispered back at him and her hand held his which was still tangled on her hair ‘I really do’ She repeated softly ‘It’s just been a lot… And I couldn’t even—’ She pointed at the injuries over his face ‘I couldn’t even help you properly, Charles did… And I dare to call myself a nurse?’

‘But I remember…’ Marston trailed off trying to think about what had happened. He recalled getting to the cabin with the help of… Someone. Maybe Bill? Or was it Uncle? No, his lazy ass wouldn’t move a finger to help him. He remembered being laid on the same bed he was right now, same ceiling when he looked up and same dusty smell that was now overpowered by the scent of his own blood. And he remembered seeing her, talking with her, feeling her before he eventually passed out.

‘After you lost consciousness, I couldn’t keep going. You were bleeding and your eye looked really bad and I… I guess I didn’t have the stomach to do it’

It wasn’t that Jude didn’t have the stomach. She had seen worse, even attended an arm’s amputation when she lived back with her father. That damn psychopath would slowly saw a limb by the opening of the joint in front of an eight year old.

The reason why she couldn’t keep going was because it was John. The fear of losing him was too much for her to even begin to handle but the idea of losing him due to one of her mistakes or because she couldn’t do enough (or be enough) was unbearable.

‘The fear froze me’ Jude admitted and John gently began to massage her scalp making her close her eyes with comfort.

‘So you love me that much you froze, huh?’ Marston asked teasingly almost in a way to lighten up the mood, Jude smirked before chuckling and then hiding her face in his neck.

‘You idiot’ She whispered back.

‘Your idiot’

‘My idiot’

John chuckled ignoring the pain that shook him as he cupped her cheek and pulled her back to be able to look into her eyes. ‘When did we turned into one of those clingy couples? We looking like Arthur and Mary back in the days…’

‘Maybe it was when your face was ripped apart by a wolf?’

‘Fair enough, darlin’…’ Marston leaned in closer to her, his shaky breath brushing against her lips. ‘Fair enough’

He cradled her face, thumbs rubbing against her cold skin, wiping away the tears that had streamed from her eyes. He leaned down just enough for his lips to meet hers tenderly, his lips barely brushing hers. His wounds stopped him from deepening the kiss, they stopped him from giving in to his desires.

John broke the kiss just to raise his chin and press another kiss against her forehead. ‘So you can’t be that mad at me if you’re lettin’ me kiss you…’

‘You want me to leave, love?’

John’s cheeks flushed as he hesitantly leaned in closer to press another quick peck against her lips, when he pulled away a smirk tugged at the corners of his also harmed lips. ‘Hell no…’