#Duryodhana

[caffstrink]

FGO august dump

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

thank you pako

[meghavahana]

In trouble with Karna and 99 others.

[stxrrynxghts]

Duryodhana: Heh, Bhima sneezes like a girl. Bhima: How about I pound you like a boy? Bhima: That didn't come out right.

[jabbering-on-jaya]

Bheem: God, give me patience.

Duryodhan: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Bheem: If God gave me any more strength, you'd be dead.

[aru-loves-krishnaxarjuna]

Mahabharata in Social Media

Part 1 –> Masterlist

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Family Group Chat!?

Is/can be very very VERY ooc

Dhritarashtra created a GC

Dhritarashtra added Duryodhana, Dushasana, Dushalana, Yuyutsu, +97 Kauravas

Dhritarashtra added Gandhari and Dushyala

Dhritarashtra added Bhishma, Vidura, Kripa and Drona

Dhritarashtra added Shakuni

Dhritarashtra added Kunti

Dhritarashtra added Yudhisthira

Dhritarashtra added Bhima

Dhritarashtra added Arjuna

Dhritarashtra added Nakula and Sahadeva

Family✨️❤️🤗

Duryodhana: This what?

Sahadeva: What's this?*

Duryodhana: Don't correct me, I know basic grammar 😡

Bhima: As if

Dhritarashtra: This is a group chat

Duryodhana: And why, Pitashree?

Dhritarashtra: So we could all talk and share our problems ☺️🥰

Nakula: Lmao

Arjuna: Nawwwhh—

Sahadeva: Lol

Bhishma: Great idea, Putra Dhritarashtra 😄

Yudhisthira: Yeah :)

Dushasana: As if we ever 'talk' 😔

Duryodhana: I would rather kill 😇

Bhima: I would rather smash your bones 🙂

Bhishma: Putra Bhima and Putra Duryodhana, ham sab ek parivar hai. Hum Kuruvanshi hai

Dushyala: Honestly... sad of you to think that, Pitamah 😐😔

Yudhisthira: Please don't say that, sister Dushyala, we are a family together. We should respect each other and talk properly with each other, that way we can lead Hastinapur together 😃

Dushalana: Kinda delusional 😐

Arjuna: Hush Bhrata Dushalan, Delulu is the solulu 🫠

Duryodhana: Wha–

Nakula: You won't understand, Bhrata Duryodhana 😂🤣

Arjuna is offline

Shakuni: Mere bacche, Yudhisthira ko sochne doh, woh hamesha apne dharmic bhram mei rehta hai

Bhishma: You're right, Putra Yudhisthira!

Duryodhana: Mera rajyatilak kab, Pitaji?

Nakula: Thankfully, not in this Yuga

Dushasana: Shut up, Nakula 🙄😒

Bhima: Jab tumhara rajyatilak hoga tab praja tumpar ande aur patthar phekke maregi 😇

Duryodhana: I will kill you, Bhima!! 😡

Dushasana: Your death soon, Bhrata Bhima 😚

Shakuni: Mere baccho, kabhi maun rehna bhi avashyak hota hai

Duryodhana: Mamashree, what? You were the one who planned it?? That you would mix poison in Bhima's food the next time?

Shakuni: MERE BACCHE DELETE THAT MESSAGE

Duryodhana: I definitely have a bigger brain that that

Bhima: WTF—!?

Nakula: 😎🍿... wow!

Vidura: HUH!?!

Kunti: 😨😰😱

Gandhari: Bhai, I didn't expect this 😶

Shakuni: This is just a misunderstanding, Didi 😅

Arjuna is back online

Arjuna has seen

Arjuna: Sup, what'd I miss?

Bhima: My murder plan is being discussed in front of everyone 😃😄😃

Arjuna: ...oh, everyday drama you mean?

Nakula: 💀💀💀💀

Sahadeva: 👻👻

Arjuna: Just this time caught in 4k 🤷‍♂️

Bhishma: 😰😰

Duryodhana: Koi na, there is always a next time, we can make another one 🥰

Dushasana: Yeah, exactly 🤗

Shakuni: I raised your brains better than this 🤦‍♂️

Bhishma: Mera Kuruvansh 😭😭😭

Dhritarashtra: ...I am blind 👨‍🦯‍➡️

Bhima: Of course you are 😑

Nakula: He is always blind to his 'priya putra's actions 🙄😒

Sahadeva: Damn straight 🫥

Yudhisthira: Why does everyone want to kill each other? 😶

Duryodhana: Don't worry, you're next 🤗

Bhishma: Duryodhana, apne vichar apne paas rakho, Putra

Dushasana: Arey, boodha bhairav, unke vichar unki marzi

Bhishma: Boodha Bhairav!?!?

Shakuni: Baccho, maun raho, woh Pitamah hai tumhare

Dushasana: What, Mamashree, you're the one who calls him boodha bhairav ●_●

Bhishma: Gandhara Raja, what!?!?–

Shakuni removed Dushasana from this group chat

Nakula added Dushasana to the group chat

Nakula: You can't remove the fun element from this group 😛

Yudhisthira: Nakula 😑

Nakula: Whaaat??

Duryodhana added Karna to the group chat

Duryodhana: Everyone, meet my priya mitra, Karna, again 🥰

Bhishma kicked Karna out of this group chat, damn

Duryodhana: WTF, excuse me!?

Bhishma: He isn't family

Arjuna: Lmfao

Arjuna: Even the notification that said Karna was kicked out said 'damn' ☠️

Bhima: Well deserved!

Duryodhana: As if this IS family 🤡

Nakula: Why did you attach a pic of yours at the end, Bhrata Duryodhana!? 😂😂

Duryodhana: Whatever 🙄

Arjuna: ...yeah, keep rolling those eyes. Maybe you will find a brain back there

Bhima: OOOHH—

Nakula: DAAAAMMNNN 💀💀💀

Sahadeva: Roasted, cooked, fried, burnt, served, ate 💀💥✨️

Duryodhana is offline

Yudhisthira: Arjuna!!

Arjuna: What, Jyesht...? 🥺🥺🥺 *all innocent*

Bhima: OOO HOHHOHOHO 🤣🤣🤣

Dushyala: ...honestly, deserved–

Dushasana: SISTER!?!?

Dushyala: Nawh I am in my Queenie Era 💅✨️👑👸🗿

Nakula: SLAAAAYYYY—

Sahadeva: I like this side of Dushyala

Yuyutsu: Both Bhrata Arjuna and Didi Dushyala are slaying today... from ALL ways 😭😂😂

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Twitter

@Duryodhana_the_best

@Duryodhana_the_best: Definitely a family @TheBestArcher_Karna 🥰

@TheBestArcher_Karna: Yes Mitra 🥰

@ThemostHandsome_Nakula: More like husband 🤫

@Mightiest_Bhima: How I wish you were born in his family and not yours 😔

@Devavrata_Bhishma.Kuru: I respect your sentiments, Putra Duryodhana, but NO.

@ChausarMaster_Shakuni: Rajmata Kunti has been silent for a while, hasn't she?

@Duryodhana_the_best: Mamashree what?

@ChausarMaster_Shakuni: Kuchh nahi, mere bacche

Trending:

#usualthingsinKuruvansh

#Duryodhanawtf

#lolDuryodhanaandKarna

#everythingiswrongwiththisgeneration

Got most of the reference and idea from @jiyaarererererere from Wattpad

[friend-shaped-but]

[fiannalover]

I can't help but increasingly feel like Lanling got himself on some NSFW Doujin-ass situation here

[yumjum414]

Shakuni Mama aur Shraapit Seedhiyan- Mahabharat crack fic Series Part I

The halls of Hastinapura had seen countless battles, both in the court and on the training grounds. They had witnessed the thunderous steps of warriors, the hushed whispers of conspiracies, and the resounding laughter of carefree princes. But on this particular afternoon, the halls bore witness to something truly unforgettable-something that would go unspoken in formal gatherings but live on in the hearts (and suppressed laughter) of the Kuru princes for years to come.

It all started, as many disasters did, with Bhima.

The young Pandava, already a force of nature at his age, had just been dismissed from his lessons along with his brothers and cousins. The elders-Bhishma, Guru Drona, and Shakuni-were leading the way down the long, grand staircase that connected the higher halls to the central court. It was a staircase worthy of its royal residents: steep, wide, and polished to a near-miraculous shine by the tireless palace attendants.

And, as it turned out, far too polished.

Bhima, unwilling to walk like a normal human being, decided to sprint up the last few steps. Why? No one knew. Perhaps he was racing an imaginary opponent. Perhaps he had just remembered that lunch was being served soon. Perhaps he was simply Bhima.

Regardless of his reasons, the results were catastrophic.

The moment Bhima reached the top, his sandal betrayed him. It slipped-a treacherous, traitorous little movement that sent his foot skidding out from under him. The great warrior-to-be flailed, arms windmilling, desperately grasping for anything to steady himself.

Fate, ever the mischievous force, provided him with something.

Shakuni’s cloak.

For a brief, glorious second, Shakuni was not a man.

He was a spectacle.

One moment, he had been walking with his usual air of practiced elegance, his fine robes flowing behind him as he engaged Bhishma in conversation. The next moment-he was airborne.

His feet lifted clean off the ground, his arms flailed, and his mouth opened-but no words came out, only a stunned, undignified gasp. His turban, that ever-present symbol of his regal composure, tilted precariously to one side.

And then, gravity remembered him.

Shakuni descended.

Not gracefully. Not heroically. Not with the composed dignity of a statesman. No, he rolled.

His long cloak, the very thing that had betrayed him, tangled around his legs, turning what might have been a simple fall into a grand, tragic performance. His staff, once held with the poise of a master strategist, clattered ahead of him, announcing his descent like a herald announcing a king’s arrival-except this king was tumbling helplessly down a flight of stairs.

First, he lurched forward. Then, he twisted midair. Then-thump, thump, thump-down he went, step by step, his arms flapping wildly in a last, desperate attempt to regain control of his fate.

The grand staircase of Hastinapura had never seen such an event before.

And it would never, ever see one like it again.

At the top of the stairs, the young Kuru princes froze.

This was a moment of great crisis.

Not because Shakuni might be injured-no, that was secondary. The real crisis was not laughing.

Duryodhana and Arjuna made the fatal mistake of looking at each other. Their expressions, which had started as carefully composed masks of concern, cracked immediately.

Nakula and Sahadeva stood as still as statues, the effort of holding back their laughter written all over their faces. Sahadeva was biting his tongue. Nakula’s shoulders were trembling.

And Yudhishthira-oh, poor Yudhishthira-looked as though he was suffering the torments of the gods themselves. His hands were clenched into fists, pressed against his mouth as he struggled desperately to maintain some semblance of dignity. His eyes were wide, pleading with the heavens for strength.

And Bhima?

Bhima, the root cause of this disaster, was trying to be the responsible one. He stepped forward, schooling his expression into what he probably thought was a look of deep concern.

“Shakuni Mama,” he said, in a voice that was just a little too strained, “are you well?”

It was a valiant attempt.

Unfortunately, his voice cracked halfway through.

The effort to suppress their laughter reached its breaking point. Duryodhana’s lips twitched. Arjuna coughed violently. Nakula turned away, pretending to examine a very interesting section of the wall.

The entire hall was silent.

The ministers, the soldiers, the attendants-everyone was holding their breath.

Bhishma, ever the composed patriarch, stroked his beard and nodded thoughtfully, as though he had just witnessed a fascinating philosophical lesson unfold before him. Guru Drona, to his credit, maintained his usual impassive expression, though his fingers twitched ever so slightly.

And then-Shakuni rose.

The fallen prince of Gandhara stood, slowly and shakily.

With the precision of a man who refused to acknowledge what had just happened, he adjusted his turban, straightened his robes, and calmly dusted off his shoulders.

Then, in a voice so controlled it could have been carved from stone, he declared:

“I am perfectly fine, mere bachche”

He paused.

Then, with a pointed look at the offending staircase, he added, “The stairs, however, are treacherous.”

Silence.

And then, Bhishma, in his infinite wisdom, gave a sage nod.

“Indeed,” he said gravely. “The stairs are quite polished.”

The princes lost their battle.

Yudhishthira turned away, his entire body shaking. Duryodhana let out a strangled noise that could have been a cough-or a suppressed howl of laughter. Nakula buried his face in his sleeve. Sahadeva looked like he had physically left his body to avoid the disgrace.

And Bhima?

Bhima covered his mouth, his shoulders heaving.

Shakuni, either unwilling or unable to acknowledge the suffering of his audience, simply gathered what was left of his pride and walked away.

He did not stalk off in anger. He did not rage or scowl. He merely left, as if nothing had happened, as if his descent down the grand staircase of Hastinapura had been a deliberate choice-an elegant, calculated maneuver.

But from that day on, the young Kuru princes knew.

And every time Shakuni passed by, if Bhima happened to look at him for just a little too long-

Bhima would cough.

And immediately pretend to be deeply, deeply interested in something else.

[thegoodthegrandandtheugly]

[caffstrink]

Forgot to post this on valentines. Happy late valentines

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

duryodhana: being exiled is no excuse to be homeless. step it up slackers

[orgasming-caterpillar]

Karna: *sighs woefully* I drink to forget but I always remember

Duryodhana: Mitra, you're drinking sharbat-

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Duryodhan, near tears: I have the sex appeal of a math book! Karna: I don’t know, dude, I’ve never met anyone that opened a math book and didn’t say “fuck me”.

[jabbering-on-jaya]

Bhratashree, if only you would have bought a little bit of brain with all the wealth that you cheated off your cousins---- *sigh*

[otk-forest]

YES BB dubai

YES DD dubai Duryodhana