#Duel At The Two O'clock Bell

[rastronomicals]

11:16 PM EST November 10, 2024:

The Reverend Horton Heat -   "Duel At The Two O'clock Bell" From the album Lucky 7 (February 26, 2002)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

File under: Psychobilly

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[mayhemchicken-varneyposting]

Varney the Vampire, Chapter 24: Any Satisfaction You Like I Will Give You

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Admiral Bell meets back up with Charles. At first he attempts to skirt around the fact that he arranged to duel Varney himself in Charles' stead, but quickly caves and tells Charles everything. Varney's insistence on fighting with swords worries him, and he fears for Charles' life should he go forward with the duel. Charles is upset by this, feeling that he ought to be the one to duel Varney since he sent the original challenge. Admiral Bell asks Charles to give him an hour or two to think, which Charles reluctantly agrees to.

While the admiral is gone, Charles receives a letter from Varney, explaining the situation with the Admiral from his perspective and offering to fulfill Charles' original duel challenge. He requests Charles meet him by a certain tree at midnight, and to come alone. Charles immediately decides he is going to go, and also that he's not going to tell anybody, because otherwise Varney might think he's a coward.

Having thusly cast aside every braincell he has, Charles seeks Flora's company, and they spend a lovely hour talking to each other in Rymer's torturous impression of romantic dialogue. Charles reassures Flora that he definitely isn't planning to run off and do something dangerous and stupid. At the end of the hour, Charles gets up to meet back up with his uncle, but gives Flora a kiss on the cheek before he goes, which apparently is a first for them. As he leaves, he is struck by a sudden sense of horrible foreboding, but dismisses it as mere nerves.

Well, there goes the last ounce of Charles' common sense.

Varney appears to have successfully rattled the Admiral, at least as far as Charles' safety; he spends a lot of time and words trying to convince his nephew that this duel is a bad idea. Charles, whose Honor is on the line, will hear none of it.

"Why, to tell the truth, my lad, I advise you not to fight with him at all." "Uncle, is this like you? This advice from you, to compromise my honour, after sending a man a challenge?" "D—n it all, Jack, I don't know how to get out of it," said the admiral. "I tell you what it is, Charles, he wants to fight with swords; and what on earth is the use of your engaging with a fellow who has been practising at his weapon for more than a hundred years?" "Well, uncle, if any one had told me that you would be terrified by this Sir Francis Varney into advising me not to fight, I should have had no hesitation whatever in saying such a thing was impossible."

Charles is confident in his own fencing skill, which he attributes to his two-year jaunt on the continent. Sorry, Charles, but your uncle has a point - do you think your two years of fencing practice will hold up against a man with more than a century's experience?

Varney is willing to give Charles the chance he wants, though. His letter to Charles is much longer than Charles' duel challenge, so I won't copy all of it here, just the highlights.

Owing to some unaccountable hallucination of intellect, [Admiral Bell] seemed to imagine that I intended to set myself up as a sort of animated target, for any one to shoot at who might have a fancy so to do.

He spends much of the letter roasting the admiral.

"There is a pollard oak growing close to a small pool; you, no doubt, have noticed the spot often. Meet me there, if you please, and any satisfaction you like I will give you, at twelve o'clock this night. "Come alone, or you will not see me. It shall be at your own option entirely, to convert the meeting into a hostile one or not.

This is a date invitation. You will not convince me otherwise.

You need send me no answer to this. If you are at the place I mention at the time I have named, well and good. If you an not, I can only, if I please, imagine that you shrink from a meeting with "FRANCIS VARNEY."

A shrewd move on Varney's part. "Be there or I'll think you're chicken" is devastatingly effective on Charles Holland.

"I will show this vampyre, if he be such," he said, "that I am not afraid to meet him, and alone, too, at his own hour—at midnight, even when, if his preternatural powers be of more avail to him than at any other time, he can attempt, if he dare, to use them."

CHARLES. This invitation has "MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP" written all over it in giant red letters. You idiot.

It would have been far more prudent had Charles informed Henry Bannerworth or George of his determination to meet the vampyre that evening, but he did not do so. Somehow he fancied it would be some reproach against his courage if he did not go, and go alone, too, for he could not help suspecting that, from the conduct of his uncle, Sir Francis Varney might have got up an opinion inimical to his courage.

CHARLES.

His intention, it would seem, has shifted from the object of a duel, though he does prepare a couple of pistols to take with him. You know, because those have been proven to work so well on Varney in the past. Charles' new goal is to confront Varney on the subject of his true nature, and determine once and for all if he's really a vampire - a Scooby-Doo unmasking, in other words. I'm sure there's no possible way this could go wrong.

Charles and Flora have another ~romantic~ conversation.

"It is misfortune and distress that tries love," said Charles. "It is thus that the touchstone is applied to see if it be current gold indeed, or some base metal, which by a superficial glitter imitates it." "And your love is indeed true gold." "I am unworthy of one glance from those dear eyes if it were not."

Yeah, it's more of this.

Also some of this:

"Do not run into danger, Charles." "I will not. Believe me, Flora, I have too much appreciation of the value of an existence which is blessed by your love, to encounter any needless risks."

[slams head against desk] Charles.

"And yet you have a sense of what you call honour, which, I fear, would lead you into much risk." "I have a sense of honour; but not that foolish one which hangs far more upon the opinions of others than my own."

Oh yeah, not that kind of honor. This definitely has nothing to do with anyone's opinion of you. Hold on, what was that line from earlier?

Somehow he fancied it would be some reproach against his courage if he did not go, and go alone, too, for he could not help suspecting that, from the conduct of his uncle, Sir Francis Varney might have got up an opinion inimical to his courage.

Charles I swear to god.

Rymer now expects us to believe Charles and Flora spend an entire hour just talking about how much they love each other. Dude, would it kill you to give them a shared interest or something?

They pictured to themselves the scene where first they met, and with a world of interest hanging on every word they uttered, they told each other of the first delightful dawnings of that affection which had sprung up between them, and which they fondly believed neither time nor circumstance would have the power to change or subvert.

Earlier, in chapter 6, I made fun of the line where the author implies Charles and Flora's relationship consists entirely of "mutually affectionate glances"; however, this would appear to have been proven factually correct.

He knew not what impulse came over him then, but for the first time he kissed the cheek of the beautiful girl. With a heightened colour she gently repulsed him.

It was a different time, I guess.

A strange heaviness came across his spirits, which before had been so unaccountably raised. He felt as if the shadow of some coming evil was resting on his soul—as if some momentous calamity was preparing for him, which would almost be enough to drive him to madness, and irredeemable despair. "What can this be," he exclaimed, "that thus oppresses me? What feeling is this that seems to tell me, I shall never again see Flora Bannerworth?"

COMMON SENSE, Charles.

Next: Varney the Vampire is brought to you by Audible.com

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

“DESPERATE FIGHT WITH PAIR WANTED IN BANK ASSAULT,” Montreal Star. October 27, 1921. Page 3. ---- Police Rained Bullets on Two Men Who Had Been Living in Central Y.M.C.A .— Pair Captured After Thrilling Fight — Bank Claims One Identification --- After a fusillade of bullets had been fired by city detectives on Drummond street last night Norman Ryan, alias Norman J. Bell, alias Albert Slade, and Patrick O'Hara were arrested at 10.05 o'clock last night, charged with being implicated In the hold up of the Park avenue Branch of the Canadian Bank of Commerce on Tuesday last.  

They were living at the Central Y.M.C.A., Drummond street.

Ryan known as the "Lone Bandit" is also wanted in Hamilton, Ontario, for holding up three different banks during the past few months. He was identified this morning by Eugene Laflamme, Bertillion expert at Detective Headquarters from a circular received from the Hamilton authorities yesterday.

J. H. Carnegie, manager of the branch of the Bank of Commerce, held up Tuesday, identified Ryan today as the man who had entered tho bank and who fled after a revolver duel.

According to officials of the Y.M.C.A, the two men registered at the Central Branch on Sunday night. They were assigned to room 407 and signed the register as coming from Brantford, Ontario.

When arrested Ryan had a Ludger automatic revolver and a 38 calibre Iver Johnson in his pockets and a stock of ammunition. O'Hara had an automatic revolver in his possession fully loaded. Both men had railway tickets for Toronto in their possession. The third man alleged to have been implicated in the hold up had already gone to Toronto and the authorities in that city have been requested to apprehend him.

IN COURT THIS AFTERNOON Both Ryan and O'Hara will be arraigned in court this afternoon charged with the attempted murder of George Drew, teller in the Bank of Commerce, and also with attempted robbery. The accuse will also be charged with carrying loaded fire arms.

The capture of the two was the outcome of a plan laid by Chief of Detectives Lepage and his men. Information was received was received yesterday afternoon that the men wanted for the attempted robbery of the brink were staying at the Y.M.C.A. Puns to make the arrest were made at 7.30 last night, but the quarry did not show up until 10 o'clock. The two had been residing at the Y.M.C.A. but had not been in for the past two days. They had also removed their baggage. O'Hara came along first and was promptly arrested.

Detectives were placed at intervals along the street and a large number of constables were held in readiness at the St. Catharines street west station in case it should be necessary to surround the Y.M.C.A. building.

PUT UP FIGHT When the man whom the police allege is the Ione bandit was stopped he did not submit without a fight. Five shots were fired at him by Detectives O'Donnel and Savard as the man attempted to escape. Detective Savard was hiding beside a tree when Ryan stepped out of the Y.M.C.A. building. Others officers were busy pulling O’Hara into an automobile. Savard stepped out on the sidewalk and commenced walking towards Ryan. As he was within a few feet, Ryan stopped and looked at him. He rlushed at the detective and pushed him aside. Detective O'Donnel, a little further down the street, Savard started after him at the same time calling to O’Donnel.

The suspect, the officers allege, pulled out a revolver. The officers did likewise. "Shoot, O'Donnel, shoot" yelled Savard.

O'Donnel shot twice, the bullets penetrating the coat of the surrounded man. Savard by this time was within six feet of his quarry and he drew his gun. He called to stop, but in return the man turned around and attempted to get an aim at Savard. Savard then fired three shots in quick succession; those shots also passing through the man's coat tails.

FIGHT BEHIND HOUSE The chase by this time had lead across Drummond street opposite the Y.M.C.A. and behind an old house. Here the chased turned around and turned his gun on Savard. The officer made a leap and bore the man to the ground at the same time grabbing the revolver. O'Donnel piled on top of the struggling men. The guns were taken away from Ryan and handcuffs put on him. In the scuffle he got hit in the face and the officers thinking he was wounded carried him to the waiting automobile and rushed him to the hospital. Here it was found the man was not wounded and he was taken to Detective Headquarters. While being taken to head quarters Ryan told Savard that "he was just as glad they got him, or else he would have got them.”

CAREER OF ONE MAN The career of the man identified as Ryan reads almost like a chapter from the history of Jesse James. In July of this year, he is alleged to have held up the Bank of Hamilton in Hamilton, Ontario, and at the point of a revolver got away with $4,000.

On Oct. 13, he held up another branch it is alleged of the Bank of Hamilton but was driven off by the fire of a revolver in the hands of the manager. The next day he successfully held up it is said the Union Bank in Hamilton and got away with $1,970. Since that time a search of the country has been made for him. A peculiar feature of the working of this man it is claimed is that he always works alone.

Very little is known of O'Hara, although this is not believed to be his right name. He claims to come from Detroit. He was the first man to be arrested. Detective Tlerney, watching for the man, was stationed just below the Y.M.C.A. building on Drummond street. He saw O'Hara pass him on the street and went after him. O'Hara started to run in the direction of Sherbrooke street. Tierney called to him to stop but he ran on. Tierney drew his revolver and fire two shots. Constable Payette, chauffeur for Chief of Detective Lepage was coming down the street towards the man. As the fleeing man was passing Payette, the constable took a swing at him and knocked him against a tree. Detective Robillard was behind the tree and jumped on O'Hara. This man has not yet been identified as the man who waited in the car for Ryan.

THE NAMES GIVEN When arrested, the prisoners gave their names as Albert Slade of Chicago and Patrlck O'Hara of Detroit immediately the men were arrested, wires were sent out to different points in an effort to identify the two.

On the circular, which bears the picture of Ryan taken in the Rogue' Gallery the following warning is issued: "Kindly use every effort to locate this man and take every precaution in arresting him as he usually armed with a gun and would not hesitate in shooting to gain his liberty.

The officers who worked on the case were Sergeant of Detectives Mercier, Detectives O’Donnel, Savard, Gursky, Robillard, Weston, Gauthier, Tierney, and Janvier Nassa.

Chief of Police Belanger this morning congratulated the officers on their fearless work last night. Chief of Detectives Lepage also thanked his men for the splendid manner in which they co-operated with him in the work.

[readbookywooks]

In which certain incidents are narrated which are only to be met with on American railroads

The train pursued its course, that evening, without interruption, passing Fort Saunders, crossing Cheyne Pass, and reaching Evans Pass. The road here attained the highest elevation of the journey, eight thousand and ninety-two feet above the level of the sea. The travellers had now only to descend to the Atlantic by limitless plains, levelled by nature. A branch of the "grand trunk" led off southward to Denver, the capital of Colorado. The country round about is rich in gold and silver, and more than fifty thousand inhabitants are already settled there.

Thirteen hundred and eighty-two miles had been passed over from San Francisco, in three days and three nights; four days and nights more would probably bring them to New York. Phileas Fogg was not as yet behind-hand.

During the night Camp Walbach was passed on the left; Lodge Pole Creek ran parallel with the road, marking the boundary between the territories of Wyoming and Colorado. They entered Nebraska at eleven, passed near Sedgwick, and touched at Julesburg, on the southern branch of the Platte River.

It was here that the Union Pacific Railroad was inaugurated on the 23rd of October, 1867, by the chief engineer, General Dodge. Two powerful locomotives, carrying nine cars of invited guests, amongst whom was Thomas C. Durant, vice-president of the road, stopped at this point; cheers were given, the Sioux and Pawnees performed an imitation Indian battle, fireworks were let off, and the first number of the Railway Pioneer was printed by a press brought on the train. Thus was celebrated the inauguration of this great railroad, a mighty instrument of progress and civilisation, thrown across the desert, and destined to link together cities and towns which do not yet exist. The whistle of the locomotive, more powerful than Amphion's lyre, was about to bid them rise from American soil.

Fort McPherson was left behind at eight in the morning, and three hundred and fifty-seven miles had yet to be traversed before reaching Omaha. The road followed the capricious windings of the southern branch of the Platte River, on its left bank. At nine the train stopped at the important town of North Platte, built between the two arms of the river, which rejoin each other around it and form a single artery a large tributary whose waters empty into the Missouri a little above Omaha.

The one hundred and first meridian was passed.

Mr. Fogg and his partners had resumed their game; no one--not even the dummy-- complained of the length of the trip. Fix had begun by winning several guineas, which he seemed likely to lose; but he showed himself a not less eager whist-player than Mr. Fogg. During the morning, chance distinctly favoured that gentleman. Trumps and honours were showered upon his hands.

Once, having resolved on a bold stroke, he was on the point of playing a spade, when a voice behind him said, "I should play a diamond."

Mr. Fogg, Aouda, and Fix raised their heads, and beheld Colonel Proctor.

Stamp Proctor and Phileas Fogg recognised each other at once.

"Ah! it's you, is it, Englishman?" cried the colonel; "it's you who are going to play a spade!"

"And who plays it," replied Phileas Fogg coolly, throwing down the ten of spades.

"Well, it pleases me to have it diamonds," replied Colonel Proctor, in an insolent tone.

He made a movement as if to seize the card which had just been played, adding, "You don't understand anything about whist."

"Perhaps I do, as well as another," said Phileas Fogg, rising.

"You have only to try, son of John Bull," replied the colonel.

Aouda turned pale, and her blood ran cold. She seized Mr. Fogg's arm and gently pulled him back. Passepartout was ready to pounce upon the American, who was staring insolently at his opponent. But Fix got up, and, going to Colonel Proctor said, "You forget that it is I with whom you have to deal, sir; for it was I whom you not only insulted, but struck!"

"Mr. Fix," said Mr. Fogg, "pardon me, but this affair is mine, and mine only. The colonel has again insulted me, by insisting that I should not play a spade, and he shall give me satisfaction for it."

"When and where you will," replied the American, "and with whatever weapon you choose."

Aouda in vain attempted to retain Mr. Fogg; as vainly did the detective endeavour to make the quarrel his. Passepartout wished to throw the colonel out of the window, but a sign from his master checked him. Phileas Fogg left the car, and the American followed him upon the platform. "Sir," said Mr. Fogg to his adversary, "I am in a great hurry to get back to Europe, and any delay whatever will be greatly to my disadvantage."

"Well, what's that to me?" replied Colonel Proctor.

"Sir," said Mr. Fogg, very politely, "after our meeting at San Francisco, I determined to return to America and find you as soon as I had completed the business which called me to England."

"Really!"

"Will you appoint a meeting for six months hence?"

"Why not ten years hence?"

"I say six months," returned Phileas Fogg; "and I shall be at the place of meeting promptly."

"All this is an evasion," cried Stamp Proctor. "Now or never!"

"Very good. You are going to New York?"

"No."

"To Chicago?"

"No."

"To Omaha?"

"What difference is it to you? Do you know Plum Creek?"

"No," replied Mr. Fogg.

"It's the next station. The train will be there in an hour, and will stop there ten minutes. In ten minutes several revolver-shots could be exchanged."

"Very well," said Mr. Fogg. "I will stop at Plum Creek."

"And I guess you'll stay there too," added the American insolently.

"Who knows?" replied Mr. Fogg, returning to the car as coolly as usual. He began to reassure Aouda, telling her that blusterers were never to be feared, and begged Fix to be his second at the approaching duel, a request which the detective could not refuse. Mr. Fogg resumed the interrupted game with perfect calmness.

At eleven o'clock the locomotive's whistle announced that they were approaching Plum Creek station. Mr. Fogg rose, and, followed by Fix, went out upon the platform. Passepartout accompanied him, carrying a pair of revolvers. Aouda remained in the car, as pale as death.

The door of the next car opened, and Colonel Proctor appeared on the platform, attended by a Yankee of his own stamp as his second. But just as the combatants were about to step from the train, the conductor hurried up, and shouted, "You can't get off, gentlemen!"

"Why not?" asked the colonel.

"We are twenty minutes late, and we shall not stop."

"But I am going to fight a duel with this gentleman."

"I am sorry," said the conductor; "but we shall be off at once. There's the bell ringing now."

The train started.

"I'm really very sorry, gentlemen," said the conductor. "Under any other circumstances I should have been happy to oblige you. But, after all, as you have not had time to fight here, why not fight as we go along?

"That wouldn't be convenient, perhaps, for this gentleman," said the colonel, in a jeering tone.

"It would be perfectly so," replied Phileas Fogg.

"Well, we are really in America," thought Passepartout, "and the conductor is a gentleman of the first order!"

So muttering, he followed his master.

The two combatants, their seconds, and the conductor passed through the cars to the rear of the train. The last car was only occupied by a dozen passengers, whom the conductor politely asked if they would not be so kind as to leave it vacant for a few moments, as two gentlemen had an affair of honour to settle. The passengers granted the request with alacrity, and straightway disappeared on the platform.

The car, which was some fifty feet long, was very convenient for their purpose. The adversaries might march on each other in the aisle, and fire at their ease. Never was duel more easily arranged. Mr. Fogg and Colonel Proctor, each provided with two six-barrelled revolvers, entered the car. The seconds, remaining outside, shut them in. They were to begin firing at the first whistle of the locomotive. After an interval of two minutes, what remained of the two gentlemen would be taken from the car.

Nothing could be more simple. Indeed, it was all so simple that Fix and Passepartout felt their hearts beating as if they would crack. They were listening for the whistle agreed upon, when suddenly savage cries resounded in the air, accompanied by reports which certainly did not issue from the car where the duellists were. The reports continued in front and the whole length of the train. Cries of terror proceeded from the interior of the cars.

Colonel Proctor and Mr. Fogg, revolvers in hand, hastily quitted their prison, and rushed forward where the noise was most clamorous. They then perceived that the train was attacked by a band of Sioux.

This was not the first attempt of these daring Indians, for more than once they had waylaid trains on the road. A hundred of them had, according to their habit, jumped upon the steps without stopping the train, with the ease of a clown mounting a horse at full gallop.

The Sioux were armed with guns, from which came the reports, to which the passengers, who were almost all armed, responded by revolver-shots.

The Indians had first mounted the engine, and half stunned the engineer and stoker with blows from their muskets. A Sioux chief, wishing to stop the train, but not knowing how to work the regulator, had opened wide instead of closing the steam-valve, and the locomotive was plunging forward with terrific velocity.

The Sioux had at the same time invaded the cars, skipping like enraged monkeys over the roofs, thrusting open the doors, and fighting hand to hand with the passengers. Penetrating the baggage-car, they pillaged it, throwing the trunks out of the train. The cries and shots were constant. The travellers defended themselves bravely; some of the cars were barricaded, and sustained a siege, like moving forts, carried along at a speed of a hundred miles an hour.

Aouda behaved courageously from the first. She defended herself like a true heroine with a revolver, which she shot through the broken windows whenever a savage made his appearance. Twenty Sioux had fallen mortally wounded to the ground, and the wheels crushed those who fell upon the rails as if they had been worms. Several passengers, shot or stunned, lay on the seats.

It was necessary to put an end to the struggle, which had lasted for ten minutes, and which would result in the triumph of the Sioux if the train was not stopped. Fort Kearney station, where there was a garrison, was only two miles distant; but, that once passed, the Sioux would be masters of the train between Fort Kearney and the station beyond.

The conductor was fighting beside Mr. Fogg, when he was shot and fell. At the same moment he cried, "Unless the train is stopped in five minutes, we are lost!"

"It shall be stopped," said Phileas Fogg, preparing to rush from the car.

"Stay, monsieur," cried Passepartout; "I will go."

Mr. Fogg had not time to stop the brave fellow, who, opening a door unperceived by the Indians, succeeded in slipping under the car; and while the struggle continued and the balls whizzed across each other over his head, he made use of his old acrobatic experience, and with amazing agility worked his way under the cars, holding on to the chains, aiding himself by the brakes and edges of the sashes, creeping from one car to another with marvellous skill, and thus gaining the forward end of the train.

There, suspended by one hand between the baggage-car and the tender, with the other he loosened the safety chains; but, owing to the traction, he would never have succeeded in unscrewing the yoking-bar, had not a violent concussion jolted this bar out. The train, now detached from the engine, remained a little behind, whilst the locomotive rushed forward with increased speed.

Carried on by the force already acquired, the train still moved for several minutes; but the brakes were worked and at last they stopped, less than a hundred feet from Kearney station.

The soldiers of the fort, attracted by the shots, hurried up; the Sioux had not expected them, and decamped in a body before the train entirely stopped.

But when the passengers counted each other on the station platform several were found missing; among others the courageous Frenchman, whose devotion had just saved them.

[rastronomicals]

3:12 PM EST January 28, 2023:

The Reverend Horton Heat -   "Duel At The Two O'clock Bell" From the album Lucky 7 (February 26, 2002)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

File under: Psychobilly

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[rastronomicals]

8:44 PM EST November 15, 2023:

The Reverend Horton Heat -   "Duel At The Two O'clock Bell" From the album Lucky 7 (February 26, 2002)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

File under: Psychobilly

--

[rastronomicals]

4:30 PM EDT October 5, 2021:

The Reverend Horton Heat -   "Duel At The Two O'clock Bell" From the album Lucky 7 (February 26, 2002)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

File under: Psychobilly

--

[rastronomicals]

5:44 AM EDT August 27, 2021:

The Reverend Horton Heat -   "Duel At The Two O'clock Bell" From the album Lucky 7 (February 26, 2002)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

File under: Psychobilly

--

[rastronomicals]

12:32 PM EDT May 5, 2021:

The Reverend Horton Heat -   "Duel At The Two O'clock Bell" From the album Lucky 7

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm