#Dude went from a chef to a mortician to a conservative MP

[thatskindarough]

@friskybizfan this one’s for you, babe

Conservative MP Izzy AU plot summary here we go (should I preface this with the fact I love Izzy? I’ll preface this with that just so everyone knows this is not some rabid Izzy hate post, rather it’s a silly AU.)

Lol okay. So This is all actually based off of the U.S system of Elections, ironic considering it’s the member of parliament AU, but I am too lazy and do not care enough to research UK politics (sorry I do not need another corrupt political system in my life.) also from what I’ve heard they’re similar enough so it should still make sense.

Izzy and Ed broke into the political scene as moderates, and are doing relatively well in the house and senate respectively, but one day Ed meets this absolute twat (sexy, hot) blond Democrat (liberal/labour) and suddenly Ed and Stede are the face of the democratic party for the presidency. Out of sheer jealousy, anger, and spite, Izzy decides to run against them as a republican (conservative/Tory). 

This goes very poorly. He has an in with the party through the Badminton’s, but as soon as he starts campaigning no one likes him. He’s not Christian and doesn’t hate poor people enough to win the hard right and he’s generally a bit too bitchy for the average conservative. He can’t even win over the socially conservative people with gay points because he accidentally said ‘no trans no gay rights’ trying to get in favor with those pesky hard right conservatives (Ed can’t tell whether or not he actually believes this but ya know, politics gotta politics and he can’t go back now.)  

He has no base. Also, he’s sad he can no longer have fun gay sex (because obviously the face of the Republican Party can’t be the raging homosexual he is) 

Despite this, he somehow wins the primary’s (democratic candidates actually funded him because no one likes him, so if he won the primary’s it would be unlikely he’d win the actual election thus republicans lose and democrats win.) Now it’s just him against gentlebeard. 

Eventually it becomes clear he’s definitely going to loose. Stede and Ed have pulled so far ahead in polls it probably won’t be close (this is the ideal world where the person with the popular vote actually wins)

He starts getting desperate as he’s run out of money, and he’s about to start some faux conservative news show where he sells supplements that turn the friggen frogs gay and mugs for $99 until eventually he’s pulled out of it by your Character of Choice, platonically or romantically, and he realizes maybe he shouldn’t have become the face of the right just to spite his not-technically ex Ed.

He denounces the party, calls them all useless twats, and pulls out of the race, effectively leaving the conservatives with no leadership. He actually votes for Ed and Stede come election day, even though he’s still salty about it(why couldn’t IZZY be vice president ):<<< ). Ed and Stede get elected co-presidents/prime ministers, everyone lives happily ever after (there are still problems because Ed and Stede aren’t perfect people and power corrupts yadda yadda but shhh shhhhhh), and Izzy finally gets laid.