#Douglas Bellowes

[thirddoctor]

DOUGLAS IS CANCELLED (2024) by Steven Moffat

You saw that I was terrified and you just turned your back and you walked away.

[bonhughbon]

Hugh Bonneville as Douglas Bellowes || Douglas Is Cancelled (2024) (x)

[canyousonicme]

Q&A with Alex Kingston, who plays Sheila Bellowes on Steven Moffat's upcoming ITV black comedy, "Douglas Is Cancelled"

(Air date: 27 June, 2024)

What appealed to you about Douglas Is Cancelled?

I'd say what appealed first of all was that the piece was written by Steven Moffat. I would do anything that Steven wrote because he's just such a brilliant writer.

The characters he creates are such a delight to play. I've had that experience of working with him on Doctor Who. It was just a joy to read the script. I laughed out loud. I even cried with laughter in some places. It's so superbly written.

Were you also taken by the idea of playing opposite Hugh?

Absolutely. Oh my gosh, Hugh and I have worked together many times over the years. We go way back to literally when we were teenagers. And so, I was definitely attracted by the opportunity of working with Hugh again. We already have that shorthand between us. That relationship doesn't need even to be acted because we know each other so well and are so comfortable in each other's presence. It's not a new person who I've got to get to know, so that married relationship was already a given. I was thrilled to have the chance to do that.

How would you describe Sheila?

She is amoral, she is ruthless. But I'm assuming that's what the paper wants. I'm also guessing that in the world these sorts of people inhabit, in order to get a good story, they have to be prepared to throw even their best friends under the bus. To be in that position as the editor of a national newspaper, you've got to be not only incredibly ambitious, but also, I would imagine, highly-strung because you are carrying a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. It's just a joy to play somebody who's so on the front foot. Sheila is also really inappropriate. That's what's so great about the script because all the characters behave inappropriately in a world where we're supposed not to anymore. I don't feel like I'm that sort of person at all, which is why it was great fun to play!

How would you summarise the relationship between Sheila and Douglas?

I would definitely say that she wears the trousers in the household. What's so interesting is that they are this high-powered celebrity couple at the start of the story. He is the nation's favourite news broadcaster, and she's this very, very successful editor of a hugely popular newspaper. But I rather like the scene that Steven wrote for them where they are on holiday because that shows a little bit more of who they are as a family before all the stuff hits the fan. They are a unit, and they love each other. But it is an unusual marriage. She is very strong, and he just allows her to be like that. If Douglas was a similar personality to Sheila, the marriage wouldn't ever have lasted. But he just lets her sail on forward, and he's in her slipstream being dragged along.

How does Sheila get on with her daughter?

The relationship she has with her daughter Claudia is much more volatile because her daughter is actually a bit more like Sheila. She's got a bit more fight in her. In a way, Sheila is terrorised by her daughter as she can't hold her daughter down. Also, Sheila doesn't understand young people and all these words like "boomer" that drop out of their mouths. For Sheila, it's just so frustrating. She thinks, "Who is this person we brought into the world who seems like a creature from another planet?"

The drama has lots of very topical things to say about cancel culture.

Yes. It's really interesting because Steven originally conceived this as a stage play several years ago. That's what I found so brilliant and so prescient about it. Steven was working on this way before all the recent scandals involving popular broadcasters. Obviously, cancel culture was already swirling around then, but I feel like Steven has the courage to put the conversation on the table in a way that is super important. But he does it in a darkly comic way, which allows people watching to laugh, but hopefully also to be able to have conversations and ask questions such as, "Where are we going with this? And how dangerous is this becoming?"

What do you hope audiences might take away from Douglas Is Cancelled?

I hope people will be a little bit more thoughtful and a little bit more careful about how they treat people or what they say about people. We need to be more conscious and kinder and aware of other people's feelings and how they wish to be perceived in life. But I think some men of my generation struggle with having to make those changes. I certainly remember sitting in the pub as a young person and hearing jokes about women that were awful. Men would safely say horrendous stuff. But that's just how it was, and you just had to suck it up. But men cannot behave like that anymore. I think there are still elements of our generation that struggle to remember to be a little bit more thoughtful before they say something. That's not out of malice. It's because they're still trying to learn the new rules of the world.

After many years working together on Doctor Who, how did you find it being reunited with Karen?

It was a real joy. It was great just spending time with her. It was very funny because she played my mother in Doctor Who. So it was really lovely to do something different with Karen, and for us both to explore this new relationship together. In Douglas Is Cancelled, there is one big scene that we have together in the toilet. They're these two alpha females who are prowling around each other, and they both absolutely know each other's game.

Did all the cast get to hang out together on set as well?

Yes. When everybody came together for the grand finale, we ended up sitting in the studio control room between scenes, all just chatting, reminiscing, sharing, messing around. Working on Douglas Is Cancelled was just a lovely, lovely, lovely experience.

[expectiations]

how it started // how it's going

[simplyalexk]

Alex Kingston as Sheila Bellowes in Douglas Is Cancelled (2024)

[thequietabsolute]

:: did freud have anything to say about fridges?

moving home soon and buying in a whole host of white goods for the new place. memorialising here this old irascibly sonorous thing.

[idesofrevolution]

Cult of Personality

The blistering New Mexico heat bared down on Douglas' '99 Chevrolet Cavalier. The small blue coupe meandered up I-25, enroute from Las Cruces to Santa Fe. The old man quietly sighed to himself, fruitlessly trying to think of a better pitch to sell his Solar Panels to the rich folks up in Albuquerque. Las Cruces ended up being a bust, just as much as Tucson: the damn things were just too expensive up front. Not that the company gave a single damn, quotas are quotas. Thus, still empty handed, he passed the exit sign for Socorro- still an hour until he'd reach his destination.

As he passed the exit, he noticed a bright red glint a bit further up the road. Douglas adjusted his glasses, squinting his eyes to see. He slowed down on the empty highway as the sight became clearer. It was a car. In fact, it was a bright red '67 Mustang; it's owner leaned on the hood as black smoke bellowed from the tailpipe. Douglas looked down at his watch, knowing fully well that he needed to be in Albuquerque before sundown. Though, as he approached the broken down muscle car, the sweltering heat of the Chihuahuan Desert at high noon would be a killer. The young man leaning on the car turned his head, not even sweating a single drop, and stared blankfaced at Douglas as he pulled up.

Douglas hit the brakes, stopping his car right alongside the young man. He strode up to the old man's car, leaning in and resting his elbows onto window ledge. His stoic expression slowly melted into a wide grin, licking his lips before he spoke.

"You headed toward Albuquerque?" A thick Texan accent flowed from the man's lips, his dark brown eyes nearly black even in the blinding light of the sun. Douglas felt an odd twinge of nervousness as the grinning young man casually smiled; it felt off. Behind that handsome visage, something was brewing within.

"I'm headed to Santa Fe, but I can call you a mechanic from Socorro, he'd be here in a jiffy!" The young man's smile didn't fade, he simply shook his head 'no.'

"Phone's got no service out here, brother. I sure would appreciate a ride. It's just a mile or so up the road." He turned, pointing down the seemingly endless highway. Before Douglas could deny the young man his request, the hitchhiker leaned in closely. It may have been the heat, or it may have been his exhaustion, but for no more than two seconds, he thought he'd heard whispers blowing in the wind. Douglas said nothing, and the young man's grin grew wider. "Thank you, brother. I'll hop in the back."

As he strode back to his car, grabbing a duffel bag from the trunk of his car, Douglas wanted to slam on the gas and blitz out of there. An air of menace surrounded this man, despite his magnetic charisma; yet his foot did not press down on the pedal. The passenger side door opened, as the man hopped into the back seat of his coupe. Too late. The door slammed by itself, evidently thanks to a gust of wind he neither felt nor heard. He pulled the car out of park, and off the duo went. He glanced into his rearview mirror, taking in the sight of his hitchhiker.

He nearly took up the entire backseat. The duffel bag sat next to him, his muscular arms tightly holding it against his side. He was easily above six feet tall, likely even more than six and a half. He threw his arms behind his head, kicking his large feet onto Douglas' armrest. Outwardly, he seemed like just another good looking guy- one he'd likely see on his granddaughter's TikTok. But his guard remained on high alert.

"Just keep driving, brother. I'll tell ya when to turn off." His velvety voice was disarming, a carefree confidence just wafted from him alongside the strange heat which seemed to emanate from his muscular body. For about an hour, the two sat in silence as they rocketed down the highway. Each glance he shot into his mirror, Douglas would see the man smirking- his gaze never meeting the old man's. Thus, as the road veered to the left in the distance, their silence was broken. "Don't turn, just keep going straight." He carried a tone of authority in his voice, a natural command that would be highly unlikely to be ignored.

"There isn't a road straight ahead..." The hitchhiker finally stared into the mirror, his eyes locked on Douglas' reflection.

"Go straight."

As if of their own accord, the old man's hands kept steadfast on their trajectory. As the road began to curve, the Cavalier shot in the commanded direction, straight into the sands of the desert. They swerved, avoiding large rocks and towering Saguaros, before the foothills of the mountains started to come into view. Through the mirage before them, Douglas could see what looked like a campsite ahead, just beyond the thicket of green brambles. A crowd of maybe 50-70 people had gathered in the bowels of the desert. For what purpose, Douglas did not yet know. But as he slowly began his approach, the entire crowd had turned their eyes toward the car. Like the parting of the Red Sea, the crowd split in two; leaving a clear straight shot toward a makeshift platform right at the base of the mountain.

"Thank you for the lift, brother. Do me a favor, will ya? Stick around. I have a feeling you'd love what we have going on today." Again, his timbre was less of a request- and far more of a demand. The tone was never raised, nor was it ever aggressive. However, he felt as if one would be wise to heed his instructions. Douglas simply nodded, turning the car off, and opening the door.

The crowd was filled with a diverse cast of people, all of which were fit, energetic, and young. Not a single soul had seen a day over 30, no less than 21. They stared with vacant expressions in silence until the hitchhiker exited the backseat, at which point they erupted in cheers and applause. Douglas watched with confusion and shock as the young man walked toward the platform, shaking hands, playfully punching shoulders, giving out high fives like condoms at a clinic. Who the hell had he picked up? Where the hell was he? As he hopped atop the wooden structure in one single leap, easily five feet off the ground, he shucked the grey tank top and tossed it into the crowd. A young woman caught it, tenderly holding it against her chest as the onlookers admired his chiseled build. Raising his arms, the crowd went silent.

"Brothers and Sisters, today is the day! Are you ready? Are you rearing? Tell me!" The crowd erupted, Douglas stared around the transfixed athletes, feeling entirely out of place- as if he wasn't meant to be there. "For one full year, you have trusted me to build your bodies into machines: daily training, nightly runs, some of y'all are out there doing some of the hardest workouts we have to offer. Look at you now!" More cheers. "When I told you that your bodies were temples, to treat them as such, each and every one of you took my words seriously. I said that each of you had the potential to become something incredible. You said, but Cameron, I can't ever get to where you're at! But guess what? You followed the regimen, you became part of our family, you became a part of something so much bigger than you even knew. And we are here today, your induction into our movement, the final hoo-rah!" Mimicking the leader, every single one of the parroting people began to chant hoo-rah, once... twice... thrice... like a warcry on the battlefield. Douglas turned, searching through the sea of people to find an escape route. Instead, he only saw five men of the same jacked physique of the leader handing out what looked to be bottles of water. Peering closely, the unlabeled bottles carried a milky white liquid.

"What sort of Jonestown shit is this..." The bottles were disperse quickly amongst the crowd, the cheery if not dim young men had seemingly finished in minutes as the leader droned on. Douglas took the opportunity to make his way back toward the car, only for a moment of dread to wash over him. It was gone. In it's place, a line of tire tracks came to an abrupt end, no vehicle in sight. The old man felt a hand on his shoulder, turning quickly to be face to face once again with 'Cameron' himself.

"I wanted to thank you for helping me, Douglas. I'm more than happy to reimburse you, you've saved the day." Whispers again started to rise around him, incoherently babbling a language far outside of his own knowledge. "Today, my friend, your journey begins." Douglas tried to pry his eyes away from Cameron to no avail. The deep brown eyes seemed to swallow any thought, any desire, any need. Cameron's pupils started to pulse, mimicking the old man's heartbeat, growing larger and larger, until the inky blackness had swallowed his entire iris & sclera. Cameron smirked as he watched the old man's posture fall forward, his shoulders drooping and his jaw hanging loosely. "Mmmmmmm. Good, fall deep, vessel. For your assistance today, your reward is to be one with me, just as all in my inner circle have done."

The black-eyed stud gently guided Douglas away from the crowd, who were busy downing the contents of their respective bottles just as moans and groans started ringing out from the poor fools. The five members of Cameron's inner circle followed suit, their eyes flooding black and mouths curling into devilish grins. The group soon arrived in a clearing of the thicket, circling around a pile of filthy clothes strewn across the dirt. Douglas was slowly guided to them, entirely unwavering in his stonefaced obedience.

"Well, my children. You continue to serve me well. I admit, this body must be hard to say no to. He is a joy to wear." The five goons chuckled menacingly, one or two of them groping at their bulges through their running shorts. "Today, as you all did before him, Douglas aided me in my time of need. On a momentous day as this, such acts must be rewarded. Today, you welcome your new brother." With a swipe of his hand, Douglas' corporate clothing dissolved into thin air, burnt ash flying into the desert wind. He stood there in the nude, the group watching in anticipation as Cameron simply pointed down to the pile of reeking clothes, and Douglas could do nothing but obey.

One by one the articles began to tremble, before sliding across the sand toward their soon-to-be owner. Cameron snickered, snapping his finger. A sweaty jockstrap quickly flew into the air, levitating for a moment before shooting toward the old man's groin. Like a liquid hitting a solid, the grimy fabric collided with Douglas, warping and wrapping around his legs and package until it had settled into it's new home. The brothers grinned, as they watched the old man's admittedly humble bulge swell rapidly. It expanded outward, his balls dropping like ten pound weights as they grew, and his cock elongated and widened until it peeked it's head out from the bottom of the sweat stained pouch. Douglas moaned as his ass swelled thick and bulbous, the formerly wrinkled and smooth skin sprouting dark brown hairs as his bush followed suit. Cameron grinned, strutting over to cup his hand over the musky horsecock and balls that had sprang from his jock.

Another snap of his fingers, and the shorts shot upward, wrapping around Douglas' legs, quickly inflating them with thick mass. His hamstrings widened, his quads becoming hard as iron while his calves tightened. The chicken legs he used to possess now were two massive slabs of hard meat. Cameron continued to grope and massage his prey's bulge, the fabric of the jockstrap growing sticky with his pre as he moaned. The five grunts slowly lowered their own shorts and jockstraps, releasing their sweaty dicks into their waiting palms.

"You humans are so... simple." *snap* The socks slithered like snakes across the ground, surrounding Douglas' toes and sliding around his heel and fastening around his ankle. "All it takes is slipping into some attractive male, and you'll be worshipping at my feet. As will you." The old man's feet cracked and stretched wide, his soles growing soft and sweaty as the stinking running shoes melted around his gigantic feet. The rubber and fabric contorted and stretched, the funk of a thousand runs in the desert heat wafting from within their confines as they reformed into a perfect fit. The group started to stroke their cocks, small droplets of black sludge seeping from their slits. Cameron grinned, sliding his hand into Douglas' jockstrap and wrapping it around his throbbing member. "You, however, will be a prince among men."

*snap* The pot belly which had plagued Douglas for 30 some odd years slowly receded, fading into obscurity as if it had never been there to begin with. His abs tightened, his pecs became lean, his waist slimmed quickly with powerful obliques and cum gutters pointing toward his hose. Whispers started to echo in the wind as the five cultists stroked their cocks, streams of black, tar-like slime coalescing into pools at their feet.

"You will be a father of my spawn, a carrier of my seed." Cameron continued to pump the massive dick, watching with malicious glee as his arms grew sinewy and lean, his hands large and wide, his fingers long and slender. "Today, our army is founded." The possessed stud placed his hand on the balding head of the former salesman, pushing him to his knees; his mind blank as his master's shorts slid down to his thighs, releasing a grotesque sight. Whatever his host's member used to be was long gone, now corrupted with demonic seed. It stood upright, intricate black symbols wrapping around the foot long shaft all the way to his foreskin. "Receive my blessing, mortal. Be one with me." The ripe rod inched forward, dripping thick globules of the black sludge onto Douglas' thighs as it pressed against his face. His mouth opened, and it was over.

In a single thrust, the monstrous cock pushed past his lips and deep into his throat as Cameron began to face fuck the old man. The pools of black sludge from his minions writhed toward him, engulfing his legs in their glistening form before slinking toward his tight hole. Cameron threw his head back in ecstasy, howling a thunderous and unnatural roar as his underling's seed seeped into Douglas' rear. The sounds of squelching, cracking, suction rang out as the roars began to grow louder. Each slap of his face against Cameron's bush reformed his aged face. New hairs sprouted on his scalp, a thick forest of black spreading across his head. His lips plumped as they slurped on the smelly cock, his skin tanning and all wrinkles disappearing. The last vestiges of the black sludge squeezed into his hole, and with a wicked, fiendish grin the possessed stud cursed out into the open desert air:

"WE... ARE... ONE!" 'Cameron' released his gift down into his new son's throats, a torrent of black seed rushing out of his length and into Douglas' transformed body. His veins started to flush dark, until an inky blackness had sprawled across his lean, taut figure. Whatever remained of Douglas sunk into a void of darkness, only to be encompassed by the viscous corruption. 'Cameron' grinned, his will quickly overwhelming the spirit of the old man before slipping his demonic essence within it. More and more of him flooded into the body, squeezing into the soul, until it was unclear where Douglas began and 'Cameron' ended. Dismounting his new creation, he watched with glee as the convulsions died down, and it's eyes opened, revealing an endless inky black as it grinned.

"Yes, my master, this vessel shall fit our needs quite nicely." As his eyes slowly started to return to their normal hazel, the corruptive sludge within his veins reformed, pushing upward through the capillaries and into the skin, now little more than tattoos to the naked eye. 'Cameron' grinned, another human ensnared into his dark consciousness, little more than a husk to house his essence.

'Dougie' smirked as he pulled up his fetid shorts, quickly masking his cock dripping the black sludge of his master and brothers as he threw his sweaty arms around his new family, walking toward their new army.

---

"Alright, Santa Fe! Are we ready to get fit?" The crowd erupted as Cameron stood before them, his arms raised on the roof of the building, grinning over the 200 new disciples he was prepared to imbue with his gift. Those who had been with him at Socorro stood silently amongst the unsuspecting enthusiasts, ready to 'assist' their 'ascension' should the need arise. Just beside the building, his sons had gathered behind the truck in a circle, chanting words beyond our most vivid imagination as they stroked eachother's musky cocks into the large vat of water. 'Dougie', now a favorite of Cameron, devilishly grinned as he felt the first torrent of his corruption spew into the clear water, the thick black sludge slithering about before dissolving into the liquid as if it were never there. Round after round, they shot their father's seed into water, until there was more of the seed than there was of the water.

"Alright, brothers. I think that should do it." His deep, bellowing voice brought each of his brothers attention on him as they put their cocks back into their shorts. "Hah, and not a minute too soon." The crowd of feckless initiates began to line up, in desperate need of hydration, of which 'Dougie' was more than happy to provide. He hopped up onto the bed of the truck, as his brothers ladled their refreshment into individual bottles. Snatching one, 'Dougie' snickered. "Who's thirsty?"

[notthesomefather]

Goddess Hel, divine hostess whose arms lovingly embrace all guests, Watch over those who have crossed your gates against their will. Care for those taken from us and bless them with tranquil rest.

Godx Loki, story-teller and guardian of outcasts, Give words to our sorrow so that we may honor their memories. Breathe air into our lungs so we may bellow our love over hatred.

Goddess Hel, cherisher of life and daughter of metamorphosis, Bestow in their loved ones moments of laughter, healing, and peace. May their names echo not just in sorrow but in smiling remembrance.

Godx Loki, change-bringer and waker of revolution, Spark the flames of unrelenting authenticity within us. Stoke the ember of truth until the hateful are blinded by its light.

Under the cut are the siblings, youth, and elders whose lives were taken due to hatred, bigotry, and fear. I understand it is incredibly triggering, but I believe we owe it to them to read their names.

We love you. We are unendingly sorry and we will never stop fighting until the hatred that stole you from this life has been extinguished. We love you so much.

(December 2023 - November 2024) Savannah Williams Bernardo Panteleon Pepper Mychel Peterson Mariah Ruby Rachel Williams F. L. “Bubba” Copeland Lola Laperla Ebony McDaniels Shandon Floyd Tiesha McFarland Kejuan Richardson Amiri Jean Reid Mya Finch Travis Stimeling Demita Jo Armstrong Onteris Owens-Campbell Jesse Viviano White Star Possum Jermaine Golden Meghan Riley Lewis Zoey Flye Madison Montana Care Hansen Amber Minor Ashlei Jasmine Colgate-Edwards Fleetwood Mars Mozee Shelby “Lexus” Riddick-Walker Kimbella Blackshear Easley Jeffcoat Tripp Schultz Lady Fabian Sanchez James Moen Dana Randolph “Desiree A. DeMornay” Quin Joy Sasha Williams Jennell Jaquays Sarina Mihailoff Sasha Washington-Cohen “Sasha Fierce” Guelila “Gigi” Iyob Videl Lombardo Savannah Rose Rivers Amore Kathy “Otter” Ottersten Robin Valentina Forrest Douglas Buckley Giselle Stone Tristan Michael Bustos “Tristyn St. Clair” Kitty Monroe Natalia Skye Teddy Reese Curran Erick Krouse Noah Jackson Chase Ellie Walsh Nex Benedict Emma “África” Parrilla García Blakely Hanson Righteous TK “Chevy” Hill Ashton Myles Clatterbuck Madison Nicole Spann “Madison St. Claire” Cecilia Gentili Diamond Cherish Brigman Elliot Ganiel Fae Morganna Barbone Aurelia A. Legassey Alex Franco Meraxes Medina Ty Geissinger “Ty Holiday” Andrea Doria Dos Passos “Maggie” Yella Clark Allister Matthews Tiffany Azalea Monceaux Tara Fable Randy Dudley River Neveah Goddard Tee “Ace” Arnold George A. Schappell Starr Brown Robbi Mecus Basil Brown Tayy Dior Thomas Kita Bee Kamryn “Cantrell” Smith Jazlynn Johnson Daelicious O’hare Mizani Darri C. Moore Niomi Jenkins Michelle Henry Saanti Bonét Valentino Pauly Likens M. Tapia Lynn Conway Liara Kaylee Tsai Dylan Gurley Griffin Shaun Sivret Kenji Zemonta Spurgeon Ev Smith Shannon Boswell Levi Castillo Lily Autumn Rose Monique Brooks Noelle Woolley Indiana Grayson Vanity Williams Tai’Vion Lathan Jhzara “Femmie” Williams Baxter Zachary Hawk Kassim Omar Liam Johns Mahdia Lynn Cass Trystero Chilli Pepper Barbie Iceland “Redd China” Honee Daniels Serenity Birdsong Adela Vázquez San Coleman Zeta Muirgen Seraph Haber

[13eyond13]

How many of these "Top 100 Books to Read" have you read?

(633) 1984 - George Orwell

(616) The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald

(613) The Catcher In The Rye - J.D. Salinger

(573) Crime And Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

(550) Catch-22 - Joseph Heller

(549) The Adventures Of Tom And Huck - Series - Mark Twain

(538) Moby-Dick - Herman Melville

(534) One Hundred Years Of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

(527) To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee

(521) The Grapes Of Wrath - John Steinbeck

(521) Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

(492) Pride And Prejudice - Jane Austen

(489) The Lord Of The Rings - Series - J.R.R. Tolkien

(488) Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

(480) Ulysses - James Joyce

(471) Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

(459) Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

(398) The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

(396) Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

(395) To The Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf

(382) War And Peace - Leo Tolstoy

(382) The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway

(380) The Sound And The Fury - William Faulkner

(378) Alice's Adventures In Wonderland - Series - Lewis Carroll

(359) Frankenstein - Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

(353) Heart Of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

(352) Middlemarch - George Eliot

(348) Animal Farm - George Orwell

(346) Don Quixote - Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

(334) Slaughterhouse-Five - Kurt Vonnegut

(325) Les Misérables - Victor Hugo

(320) Harry Potter - Series - J.K. Rowling

(320) The Chronicles Of Narnia - Series - C.S. Lewis

(317) Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

(308) Lord Of The Flies - William Golding

(306) Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison

(289) The Golden Bowl - Henry James

(276) Pale Fire - Vladimir Nabokov

(266) Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

(260) The Count Of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

(255) The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Series - Douglas Adams

(252) The Life And Opinions Of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman - Laurence Sterne

(244) Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

(237) Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackery

(235) The Trial - Franz Kafka

(233) Absalom, Absalom! - William Faulkner

(232) The Call Of The Wild - Jack London

(232) Emma - Jane Austen

(229) Beloved - Toni Morrison

(228) Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

(224) A Passage To India - E.M. Forster

(215) Dune - Frank Herbert

(215) A Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man - James Joyce

(212) The Stranger - Albert Camus

(209) One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesey

(209) The Idiot - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

(206) Dracula - Bram Stoker

(205) The Picture Of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde

(197) A Confederacy Of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

(193) Mrs. Dalloway - Virginia Woolf

(193) The Age Of Innocence - Edith Wharton

(193) The History Of Tom Jones, A Foundling - Henry Fielding

(192) Under The Volcano - Malcolm Lowry

(190) The Odyssey - Homer

(189) Gulliver's Travels - Jonathan Swift

(188) In Search Of Lost Time - Marcel Proust

(186) Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie

(185) An American Tragedy - Theodore Dreiser

(182) The Book Thief - Markus Zusak

(180) Siddhartha - Hermann Hesse

(179) The Magic Mountain - Thomas Mann

(178) Things Fall Apart - Chinua Achebe

(178) Tropic Of Cancer - Henry Miller

(176) The Outsiders - S.E. Hinton

(176) On The Road - Jack Kerouac

(175) The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

(173) The Giver - Lois Lowry

(172) Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

(172) A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess

(171) Charlotte's Web - E.B. White

(171) The Ambassadors - Henry James

(170) Infinite Jest - David Foster Wallace

(167) The Complete Stories And Poems - Edgar Allen Poe

(166) Ender's Saga - Series - Orson Scott Card

(165) In Cold Blood - Truman Capote

(164) The Wings Of The Dove - Henry James

(163) The Adventures Of Augie March - Saul Bellow

(162) As I Lay Dying - William Faulkner

(161) The Hunger Games - Series - Suzanne Collins

(158) Anne Of Greene Gables - L.M. Montgomery

(157) Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand

(157) Neuromancer - William Gibson

(156) The Help - Kathryn Stockett

(156) A Song Of Ice And Fire - George R.R. Martin

(155) The Good Soldier - Ford Madox Ford

(154) The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

(153) I, Claudius - Robert Graves

(152) Wide Sargasso Sea - Jean Rhys

(151) The Portrait Of A Lady - Henry James

(150) The Death Of The Heart - Elizabeth Bowen

[cerenemuxse]

"He Squawks!"

7th October 1963

The story can be found at @eosr-by-muxse for easier access.

Under an agreement between James and the rest of the North Westerners, after every October 6th, James is allowed to spook any of his fellow co-workers. This year has a bit of a surprise for him.

For Traintober 2023: Day 8 - Bird

~

In Tidmouth Yards, three engines were laughing about as they cleaned up the little mishap one of them caused. Troublesome Trucks had been derailed by accident.

“Thon wis quite a scare, Jim!” piped up Donald with a chuckle. “Ye could’nae even wait a single day noo, could ye?”

James laughed loudly. “Of course not! It’s past my birthday, just like we agreed~!”

“We ken, auld man!” Douglas said cheekily as he pulled a Troublesome Truck back on the line. “At least we won’t be needin’ the cranes.”

“Ye’re gettin’ better at spookin’,” Donald added with the same cheekiness.

“As if I was never good at it!” huffed the red medium-sized tender engine playfully, giving a cross look at the Scottish twins. Within seconds of silence full of steam being bellowed, all three engines burst into laughter once again as they continued pulling the trucks back onto the tracks.

Once they were done, Donald asked. “Sae, who’s yer next victim?”

“Emily, of course! As always.”

“As always?” asked Douglas with a chuckle. “Sae we’re always first? How sweet, Jim.”

With another playful huff, James replied, “Well, you’re the furthest away from my branch line, and I haven’t seen you both in a while, except for the weekends, that is.”

“We saw ye yesterday, auld man,” reminded Douglas.

“But still-!”

“We get it, Jimmy,” interrupted Donald. “Still cannae believe ye’re turning fifty-ane ance this month is over.”

“May I remind you that you’re both fifty-four years old. You’re both not that much older than me, ‘auld man,’” James retorted with a tease, mimicking the twins’ Scottish accent.

“Alricht, get goin’ then if ye want tae catch Emily,” huffed Donald, shooing the larger engine away. “We dinnae want the Big Man findin’ oot aboot this.”

“Right!” puffed James. With two sharp whistles from the polished brass object, James reversed and gathered his goods train that was headed to the docks. Half of the train was from the Ffarquhar Quarry and the other was from the Goram Fell Quarry, so the trucks were full of stone. Thankfully, these trucks weren’t Troublesome Trucks. Otherwise, they would’ve gotten James back for the incident that had occurred moments prior.

The red medium-sized tender engine pulled out of the yard with his goods train and went onto the Main Line, heading towards the Brendam Branch Line.

…

Brendam Docks was busy as usual with Salty bustling about and Cranky loading and unloading cargo. Goods trains were being set up as James approached Cranky.

"Here's James!" he exclaimed, whistling sharply. "Here's my train, Cranky!"

"You're gonna have to move along, James!" exclaimed Cranky with his typical grump. "I need to load another train now. You can put it underneath the dock manager's building for now!"

Without another word, James whistled once more and moved ahead. He made sure the brake van of his goods train sat right outside of the roofline of the building. Once that was done, he collected his brake van and moved along, only to find another engine stalled ahead.

Although James hadn't planned on adding this particular engine to his list, he gave it a second thought. With a soft but mischievous chuckle, he whispered, "I've been a little too nice to Edward."

His driver, Fred, caught wind and immediately spoke up. "Oh, don't you even think about it!" he whispered hastily as he grabbed the handbrake. "Come on, old boy! We're gonna be late!"

"Pft! We'll be fine. I'll only take a moment!" he whispered. Fred and George looked at one another before giving in, with Fred letting go of the handbrake. James snickered as he approached the blue medium-sized tender engine as slowly as he could. Knowing that Edward lacked the ability to open his smokebox door, James moved closer than he typically would. Once he was at the halfway point of Edward's goods train, he stopped, making sure Edward hadn't taken notice. The other engine didn't do anything but hum about, presumably waiting around. With a devious grin, James rushed forward with full force and hollered, "I'm behind you!" as loud as he could.

Edward let out a very loud squawk, startled by the sudden scream and red blur rushing past him.

James immediately pulled on his brakes the moment the sound left the other engine's mouth. The noise had shaken him out of his joy, making it short-lived. Slowly, he reversed until his smokebox aligned with Edward. He popped open his smokebox door, seeing Edward's face.

Edward's eyes were blown open, his lips creased together in a thin straight line, and his cheeks were burning to a near sooty black.

"Did you just-?" began James.

"Naw!" immediately squeaked the smaller engine, trying to be stern. "Naw, I didnae!"

"You squawked like a seagull!" exclaimed James, flustering Edward even further. "I can't believe it! He squawks!"

"James, please-!" he insisted, still trying to be stern.

"I wonder if Duck quacks?" asked James smugly. "Now wouldn't that be a treat?"

"James!"

"Oh, I won't tell anyone, Edward, if that's the problem."

"Well, aye, but-!"

"I've gotta go now! Talk to you later!" exclaimed the red medium-sized tender engine giddily before rushing off, leaving behind a very flustered Edward.

~

Just a fun short story! Looks like I did get a chance to join Traintober this year just for a bit.

[yeahyeahno]

Good Omens Book Club

POSSIBLE GOOD OMENS SPOILERS

You have been warned, please don’t spoil yourself. This refers to books referenced in S2 of Good Omens, but I am not relating them to events or plot.

EDIT: @ineffable-romantics​​ gave some really excellent suggestions. Having rewatched and looked up their starting sentences, I think these are right. I suppose only Neil Gaiman or Douglas Mackinnon could confirm 100%. More below.

In episode 2 we get a shot of a book shelf. I have compiled the titles, though two are illegible. For one you can make out the publisher mark, the other is too far back in the shadows. I have listed them in order on the shelf, plus the books that Gabriel picked up.

-

The Books:

I Capture the Castle - Dodie Smith

No Woman No Cry - Rita Marley

A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (Mystery book, in the shadows)

The Crow Road - Iain Banks

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon

Catch-22 - Joseph Heller

Love in the Time of Cholera - Gabriel Gracia Marquez

The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath (Mystery book, publisher mark visible but I can't make it out)

Nineteen Eighty-Four - George Orwell

The Big Sleep - Raymond Chandler

The Bible

The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Catcher in the Rye - J. D. Salinger

A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket

Herzog - Saul Bellow

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

-

Here’s the opening line for The Bell Jar:

‘It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn’t know what I was doing in New York.”

And for A Tale of Two Cities:

‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...”

Gabriel reads this aloud in the bookshop (07:14), and shelves it near the Crow Road! Mystery solved? Perhaps. (Wait and see?)

“X-Ray Trivia” from Amazon Prime states “The Good Omens Book Club - Co-showrunners Neil Gaiman and Douglas Mackinnon would love for everyone to read these books. Douglas Mackinnon put these books in alphabetical order, starting with their first sentence.

All the books ‘Jim’ has reshelved so far by alphabetical order of ... the first line in each. Each book’s first line begins with ‘I’.

Gabriel shelving a book near Iain Banks’ ‘The Crow Road.’

[triflesandparsnips]

Good Omens Book Club

So I have, in other fandoms, talked about the importance of what an audience can actually see on the screen. Specifically: When a constrained format (like, say, between 45 to 56 minutes of a single visual/audio input) is telling a constrained story (like, say, something that must start, climax, and resolve within some kind of structure), it's useful for the audience to pay attention to what gets given the valuable real estate of camera/story time.

So when time is given and effort made to show the actual titles of actual books... well.

Figure 1. Local bookshelf weighted down by an over-abundance of literary allusions.

This is a screenshot from episode 3 of Good Omens's second season, as Jim is reshelving all the books in Aziraphale's book shop by the first letter of their first sentences. He's about to shelve Jane Austens's Pride and Prejudice ("It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.") and the red sideways book, that he is about to pick up, is Good Omens itself ("It was a nice day.").

But, unusually, we can see the title of almost every other book on the shelf. Several of them appeared in the advertising poster, too, as I outlined previously (if you click that link, be advised that I am very proud of several bits of that essay and also let's not talk about how my go-to for musical references is Middle English folk rather than, say, Buddy Holly). Anyway-- with this in mind, and the understanding that time, effort, and celluloid have been spent on getting this shot to the audience, it would behoove us, I think, to actually look at these books.

Figure 2. A pair of showrunners providing not-so-subtle ancillary notation suggesting the same thing, so really, this is a no-brainer in terms of meta fodder.

Okay, Trifles, so what about the book club

Technically, this isn't my idea. It's Neil's and Douglas's, so jot that down.

What I figure is, I can provide a list of the books shown, their first lines, and a VERY brief summary of each. Those are below. And as I rewatch the show, I may reblog this post with additions, but also...

I've read some of these, but not all of them, and not recently -- with at least one of them, though, I remember enough to know that the first line and summary do nothing to showcase the heartrending possibilities the book may be alluding to for the overall Good Omens narrative.

And further-- as I collected these summaries and first lines, I started noticing some compelling commonalities. Which I, for one, would like to confirm and dig into more deeply.

So while I'm going to start reading these, it might be a Nice Idea for other folks to do so as well. The more write-ups we can get, the greater the concordance of Interesting Insights might be available. (And if you tag me in your write up, or otherwise draw my attention, I will gladly link your essay up here for the edification of others omfg.)

ANYWAY

The "Jim Shelving" Book List

From right to left (which feels odd, but it's the actual alphabetical-by-letter arrangement), and summaries from various internet sources:

Herzog, by Saul Bellows

"If I am out of my mind, it's all right with me, thought Moses Herzog."

"Herzog is a 1964 novel by Saul Bellow, composed in part of letters from the protagonist [...] The novel follows five days in the life of Moses E. Herzog who, at the age of forty-seven, is having a midlife crisis following his second divorce."

A Series of Unfortunate Events, (series) by Lemony Snicket

"If you are interested in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book."

The first book in the series, The Bad Beginning, "tells the story of three children, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, who become orphans following a fire and are sent to live with Count Olaf, who attempts to steal their inheritance."

The Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger

"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth."

"The novel details two days in the life of 16-year-old Holden Caulfield after he has been expelled from prep school. [...] From what is implied to be a sanatorium, Holden, the narrator and protagonist, tells the story of his adventures before the previous Christmas."

The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald

"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since."

"Set in the Jazz Age on Long Island, near New York City, the novel depicts first-person narrator Nick Carraway's interactions with mysterious millionaire Jay Gatsby and Gatsby's obsession to reunite with his former lover, Daisy Buchanan."

The Bible, (anthology) by God et al.

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth."

"25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying 'Where is the flaming sword that was given unto thee?'

26 And the Angel said, 'I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next.'

27 And the Lord did not ask him again."

The Big Sleep, by Raymond Chandler

"It was about eleven o’clock in the morning, mid October, with the sun not shining and a look of hard wet rain in the clearness of the foothills."

"Private investigator Philip Marlowe is hired by wealthy General Sternwood to stop a blackmailer. Marlowe suspects that the old General is merely testing his caliber before trusting him with a bigger job, one involving Sternwood's two amoral daughters."

Nineteen Eighty-Four, by George Orwell

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."

"In George Orwell's iconic and prophetic masterpiece, 1984, a haunting vision of a dystopian future unfolds. Set in a world dominated by the all-seeing eye of Big Brother, the story follows Winston Smith, a lowly Party member whose very thoughts are scrutinized. As the Party manipulates history and suppresses truth, Winston's yearning for individuality and connection pushes him into a daring dance on the edge of rebellion."

[A title I cannot, unfortunately, read-- if anyone who HAPPENS to be familiar with the show and HAPPENS to perhaps also be on tumblr just HAPPENS to say what this book might be, that would be Very Much Appreciated]

"????"

[WOW I WISH I WAS A SUMMARY OH WELL]

Catch-22, by Joseph Heller

"It was love at first sight."

"Set in the closing months of World War II in an American bomber squadron off the coast of Italy, Catch-22 is the story of a bombardier named Yossarian who is frantic and furious because thousands of people he has never even met keep trying to kill him. Joseph Heller's bestselling novel is a hilarious and tragic satire on military madness, and the tale of one man's efforts to survive it."

Love in the Time of Cholera, by Gabriel García Márquez

"It was inevitable: the scent of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love."

"The story, which treats the themes of love, aging, and death, takes place between the late 1870s and the early 1930s in a South American community troubled by wars and outbreaks of cholera. It is a tale of two lovers, artistic Florentino Ariza and wealthy Fermina Daza, who reunite after a lifetime apart."

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by Mark Haddon

"It was seven minutes after midnight."

"The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time is a 2003 mystery novel by British writer Mark Haddon. [...] The novel is narrated in the first-person perspective by Christopher John Francis Boone, a 15-year-old boy who is described as "a mathematician with some behavioural difficulties" living in Swindon, Wiltshire. [...] Christopher sets out to solve the murder [of a neighbor's dog] in the style of his favourite (logical) detective, Sherlock Holmes."

The Crow Road, by Iain Banks

"It was the day my grandmother exploded."

A Scottish family drama about a perfect murder against the backdrop of the 1990s Gulf War. "This Bildungsroman is set in the fictional Argyll town of Gallanach, the real village of Lochgair, and in Glasgow, where the adult Prentice McHoan lives. Prentice's uncle Rory disappeared eight years previously while writing a book called The Crow Road. Prentice becomes obsessed with papers his uncle left behind and sets out to solve the mystery. Along the way he must cope with estrangement from his father, unrequited love, sibling rivalry, and failure at his studies."

No Woman No Cry: My Life with Bob Marley, by Rita Marley with Hettie James

"I was an ambitious girl child."

"Fans of reggae legend Bob Marley will welcome this no-nonsense biography from his wife, Rita, who was also his band member, business partner, musical collaborator and the only person to have witnessed firsthand his development from local Jamaican singer to international superstar."

I Capture the Castle, by Dodie Smith

"I write this sitting in the kitchen sink."

"I Capture the Castle tells the story of seventeen-year-old Cassandra and her family, who live in not-so-genteel poverty in a ramshackle old English castle. Here she strives, over six turbulent months, to hone her writing skills. She fills three notebooks with sharply funny yet poignant entries. Her journals candidly chronicle the great changes that take place within the castle's walls, and her own first descent into love."

...and because I happen to know and love this book, I'm aware of the devastating last lines...

"Only the margin left to write on now. I love you, I love you, I love you."

[bonhughbon]

Douglas Is Cancelled + Madeline and Douglas' "official" Twitter accounts (x , x)

[canyousonicme]

Alex Kingston as editor Sheila Bellowes in Steven Moffat's "Douglas Is Cancelled" on ITV1 (UK)

[expectiations]

what would it take for Alex Kingston to remember her Instagram password

[simplyalexk]

Alex Kingston on the set of Douglas Is Cancelled