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[daftynews-blog]

Glasgow to stage 'Day of Swally' in protest at proposed Trump visit

by Danny SoZ

Glasgow City Council has announced that they will oppose any state visit to Britain by United States President, Donald Trump by staging a city-wide mass alcoholic binge on the day of his arrival.

The 'Day of Swally' will see pubs and off-licences open for 24 hours on the day that Trump arrives so that people will have every opportunity to have a good skinful no matter what the hour. It is also understood that specially designed Buckfast Tonic Wine tankers with taps along the sides will be parked at designated, 'Swally Points' across the city so that citizens can get their load on when they're on their way to work or going to the supermarket with the weans. Scotland and European football giants, Partick Thistle, have also pledged their support by setting up a whiskey collection dump at their iconic Maryhill Park training ground. Assistant Manager "Big Roan" Atkinson, told us: "Aye, we'll dae anything we can tae help the cause so we wull. I cannae stand yon orange bastart, and if goin' oan the big boay's ginger fae 24 hoors wull send oot the message that we'll no tolerant the racism in this toon then ah'm more than prepared tae go oan the drink till ah piss and shit mah troosers, so ah am" The proposed move comes hot on the heels of the recent, 'Day of Slashing', which saw Glaswegian citizens battling in the streets with razors in protest at Lorraine Kelly's announcement that she was thinking of moving from England to a house in the Bridgton area.

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[worldnewsinpictures]

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