#Don't roast orcs like chickens

[thatautisticlesbian]

i read this as orcs and was very confused.

[domwrites]

Danu had washed his hands quickly with water from his leather pouch of the deep rothe head. He had done his task of leading these poor adventurers to the edge of the city's territory and now he can go back to doing other things.

Like going home to take a big nap since he was working for about 12 hours. This included his normal patrol and being told, "Hey, these adventurers from their guild are being assigned to head to a dangerous place. Lead them to the border and don't tell them there's a lot of scary things in the depths of the Underdark." Something like that.

He hoped that Teinz cooked something, but if he didn't, the orc could always roast a chicken for them to munch on.

He was so focused on eating and sleeping that he didn't notice a small dagger swing at him. His training kicking in, Danu swung right behind him. There wasn't anything that met his fists. So he looked down. "You! Gimme your money!" Was this a gnome? No, if it was, they definefely would be swinging at him again, really make an effort to steal.

Not a gnome. Not a halfling. Not even a good thief. "What do you want, child?" He started, looking around to see if their parents were there. This must be some sort of bratty child acting out. Nobody called for a name. Nobody started coming over and lecturing the boy, and nobody certainly looked anxious over a lost child. He doesn't remember if any of the nobility have young kids, but if they did, they sure as the hells would be accompanied by a nanny or a butler.

"Where are your-"

"Gimme your money! I want it!" The small boy raised the dagger around. This dagger is clearly a blunt wooden toy dagger. This was definitely a child no older than four. "Shouldn't your parents be with you?" He began, taking a look around again, this time a bit more worried. Nobody really was coming over.

Danu gave this boy a glance again. Matted hair, clothes that seemed to be patched together, dark circles under his eyes. "Boy -" "Gimme your money!" The boy said a lot more with a whine. The guard captain realized what sort of stunt was going on. While nobody was trying to find this boy, he did notice that there was somebody with a hood on leaning against the city walls.

The hooded figure started to mouth something rather angrily. And thats when the boy tried to stab Danu's leg. It didn't pierce anything, but damn did it hurt. He can worry about the little bruise later, but that hooded guy was pissing him off. He made sure that the child was in his view before storming over to the guy. "What are you doing here in this area?" Danu tried to keep himself calm.

But he saw the boy that he used to be in that child thief. Not stealing anything, gods no, but lashing out at a guard here when he was 12. It was mostly a language barrier issue, but also being very desperate.

"Can't a guy take a breather? I'm not robbing the people here." He shrugged, clearly rolling his eyes.

That's not what the captain saw, his eyes ablaze with rage. "What kind of thief are you?! Using a child to do your stealing, do you have any idea how cruel that is?! To exploit your child? You should be ashamed of yourself!" He berated the thief, veins popping out of his head. "That brat? That's not my spawn!" The thief took his hood off, clearly irritated that he was caught. But he was right, the rogue is an elf.

Him being right enraged Danu more. The orc called over a guard a bit louder than he needed to, asking her to arrest the elf for coercion. "Captain, I'm not sure who exactly this guy threat-" "That human toddler over there." It made him feel sick at what the elf must have used to get someone so young to start stealing for him.

"Alright, bustard, move! You're under arrest for coercion, now get walking! You're going to prison!" This lit a fire under her ass as she started yelling, taking the thief away.

The child had thrown the wooden toy somewhere in frustration, folding his arms as he started crying. Danu had gotten out of his rage when he heard the toddler. "Was that adult making you get money?" He asked calmly, getting on a knee. Between sniffles and gasps, the boy nodded. "What's your name."

He doesn't need his name for the records. He didn't care about records or bookkeeping or anything else. "Archer..." "Alright, Archer. Where are your parents?" Danu helped Archer up, making sure he was balanced. He didn't answer his question, so he asked again. "Hey, where are your parents?" "They far." It looked like he didn't want to talk about it then.

"Do you want any food?" He had nothing on him, but a food stall should have something. Archer's dull eyes suddenly lit up and he nodded. So he took the boy over to a stall selling meat pies. It was a small one, but he ate rather slowly, then faster as he got more comfortable.

"Hey, kid, do you have any relatives, wait... do you have anyone that knows your parents?" The boy shook his head no. He stopped eating. Its best to just drop it and find him somewhere to go.

The orphanage is a good option, but he doesn't want to put all of his trust in that place. It was privately funded by nobles, although he heard that some of the kids thst outgrow it always end up working for the nobles as mercenaries or servants. "Need to check one more place, and I'll take you somewhere you can stay. That ok?"

Archer gave a curious nod, looking up at the orc. After he finished eating, they started walking to the gate barracks. As they walked, Danu noticed how tiredly the child was moving. So he picked the boy up in one arm and kept moving.

Getting to his office, he sat the child down in his chair and started rummaging through papers. There had to be some mention of the boy from at least 3 years ago. It took him longer than it should have, but he pulled up a log of people entering the city from last year.

Gallahine Yotum - 33, Human, smith.

Corrine Yotum - 31, Human, firework maker.

Archer Yotum - 2?, Human.

It was slowly coming back to him. Six months ago, there was a firework explosion in the Trades Ward. The consensus was that it was a freak accident. A lot of people were injured, but two were killed. It seems like their son was left unscathed. Danu looked over to Archer with a sad look to his face.

"I know where you can stay."

...

Teinz had perked his head up when Danu entered their home, but was a little puzzled when he brought the four year old in. "Love, who's this human child? Doing a good deed and sitting for one of your guards?" He teased, expecting a bit of banter. The captain put down the sleeping child on some blankets before taking the drow aside, explaining everything.

It was a lot, a lot lot, but he nodded and kissed Danu's cheek. "We'll raise him. We'll raise him and give him the love his parents had given him." "Do you think I can be a good father? Given my experience with-"

A purple finger pressed between his tusks, shushing him. "Yes. You're not like your father, Danu. I think you'll be great."

"So will you." He kissed the finger.

[tastesoftamriel]

Greetings from Finland! (Or I suppose it could be considered Eastern Skyrim) What are some of the spices or ingredients that could be used in food making from each race? I plan to make up a recipe of my own. And how about most famous meats for every race? (And possibly their real life counterparts for some of the meats?) Best wishes, thank you!

Hello! You can find a list of commonly used Tamrielic spices here. With regards to meats, there are a range of different meats preferred by the races based on geographic regions and subsequent availability.

Altmer

Summerset favours fish over most other meats, but the High Elves also farm a range of more common mainland Tamrielic livestock such as cows, chickens, sheep, and deer. However, indrik heart is the most prized of all meats, and is highly sought after due to the illegality and difficulty of killing these magnificent beasts. The preparation and consumption of indrik heart is purportedly painstaking, and is a closely guarded secret of Altmeri gourmets. It is my goal to one day try this coveted dish!

Argonians

Guar, bantam guar, and chickens are the main meats favoured by Black Marsh Argonians, primarily due to their ability to cope with swampy conditions. Grilling, baking, and frying are the most common ways of preparing these meats, whether they're served on their own, with noodles or saltrice, or salads.

Bosmer

If it's meat, the Bosmer will eat it. Whether it's wild boar, deer, timber mammoth, or even monkey, all game is fair game in Valenwood! Timber mammoth steak with blue timber mammoth cheese sauce is one of my favourite foods in Tamriel.

Bretons

If there's one race who's mad about mutton, it's the Bretons. While High Rock is also known for its pork dishes, today I'm focusing on all things mutton. Mutton stew, mutton chops, mutton casserole, and even Orcish-inspired mutton curry are favourites both at home and in taverns. One of the more popular ways of consuming the meat is a mutton and rosemary sausage, that is served fried with eggs, goat cheese, and roasted artichoke hearts.

Dunmer

Aside from guar, the Dark Elves love nix-hound and nix-ox in equal amounts, with the former being more akin to crocodile or turkey in texture, while nix-ox is named such due to its uncanny similarity to beef in flavour (though not in texture). As they are bugs, however, you're not going to get thick steaks or drumsticks as you would from other animals. Instead, nix-ox and -hound are best served minced or stewed. A staple dish in Dunmeri households is nix-hound casserole, made with finely minced and baked nix-hound with saltrice, hackle-lo or ash yams, and scuttle.

Imperials

Imperials love beef the same way that Bretons love mutton. However, the most unique and exciting beef you can find in Tamriel is Cyrodiilic wagyu, a special kind of fatty, marbled beef that is exquisite as it simply melts in the mouth with a rich, meaty flavour. Whether it's served as tender filet mignon or thinly sliced as carpaccio, Cyrodiilic wagyu beef is an expensive but absolutely divine treat.

Khajiit

There are many exotic meats that are native to Elsweyr, and jerboa is probably the most popular. These small (and unfortunately very cute) rodents are delicious when deep fried or roasted in moon sugar sauce, though their small size means you'll have to eat a few to fill up. If you don't mind picking bones from your teeth, jerboa is a must-try for adventurous foodies.

Nords

Beef, chicken, elk, goat, horker, rabbit...in Skyrim, if it moves, we're probably eating it. However, the consumption of specific types of meat, and whether it's processed or fresh, really depends on where you are in the Province. Major towns and cities are more likely to eat fresh farmed meats like poultry, mutton, and beef, while rural areas rely more on wild game. Whether it's Markarth barbequed goat skewers or Dawnstar horker casserole, there's a whole new world of regional dishes out there for meat lovers visiting Skyrim.

Orcs

Echatere, chub loon, horker, and mammoth are the cornerstones of Orcish cuisine, and they're enjoyed in abundance. Wrothgarian Orcs in particular love their echatere, which are lovingly hand-reared or hunted in the wild. Either way, it's delicious, albeit with a rather acquired taste and gamey aroma. Echatere meatballs topped with crispy chub loon bits and an echatere cheese and frost mirriam gravy are a timeless classic hailing from the region.

Redguards

If goats were ever to become an endangered species, the last place they would disappear would be Hammerfell. Anyone who's visited the Alik'r will know that despite the sandy, Oblivion-hot depths of the desert, these hardy creatures will survive just about anything. As a result, goat meat plays a central part in Redguard cooking. Goat koftas, kebabs, shawarma, curries...no matter what form it's in, you're bound to have a tasty, meaty meal no matter where you are in Hammerfell.

[faeriefics]

The Last of the Light Fae - First Chapter.

Pairing: Fili x Female Faerie OC Shaeleign (Shay-lean)

Word Count: Approximately 3.2k.

Warnings: Mentions of troll filth, blood, the threat of violence, swearing.

Masterlist

Next Part

A/N: This is the first instalment of I don't know how many - I'm planning to have the second part feature Shae's perspective, and elaborate much more on her character, but I wanted to start from Fili's POV to allow for some context! I've made so many edits and touch-ups that at this point I need to post it before I chicken out! Any feedback or encouragement would be really appreciated!! If anyone would like to follow my posts for this series, let me know and I'd be very happy to open a taglist!

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“What smells worse, brother-mine, those flea-ridden sacks the trolls wrapped us in, or this hole in which they used to live?” Kili was in such good-humours that anyone would have been none-the-wiser to know they had narrowly avoided being spit-roasted or eaten alive. Whether it was courage or something resembling stupidity, Fili would not comment - admittedly, he was shaken enough to feel confident in his will to live, but not so disturbed as to be deterred from their quest. His brother had been kicking a rock against the cave’s entrance for a minute or so now, distracted, no doubt doing as he was; filling his lungs with as much fresh, unpolluted air as possible, bracing for the stench he could already smell leaking from the entrance.

“This cave stinks worse than that dreadful stew Uncle attempted last winter solstice - if he’d added hound shit and rotten flesh I imagine it’d be close to the smell down there.” Fili instantly regretted speaking so much, his next soft intake of breath having him forget he was facing that rotten, dark hole; leaving him near-gagging at the stench, much to Kili’s apparent amusement. The dark-haired dwarf laughed, as loud and glee-filled as one could only be when giggling at another’s expense, and in truth Fili nearly laughed when his brother made the same mistake as he, his laughing turning to spluttering gags.

“Plug yer noses, breathe through yer mouths, and quit yer fretting! Bloody spoilt wee princesses, not known a day of true hard work-” Gloin’s head came poking through the darkness, red-hair briefly illuminated in the pale yellow light of the morning. Fili felt a clever retort clinging to his tongue, one weighing whether looting a cave previously occupied by mountain trolls qualified as ‘hard work’ - he for one did not see the point. Perhaps he was more easily convinced away from such endeavours by the rumbling of his belly and the soreness of his eyes from a missed night’s sleep - but on the other hand, his pride reared its head at the description of ‘spoilt’ - he was certainly not coddled. Had Gloin ever met his mother? If he and Kili had been playful and carefree thus far, it was merely because they had needn’t fear their mother’s temper and her will of iron on this journey. As much as he cared for (and, admittedly between himself and Kee, missed) their mother, she, at times, seemed scarier than the tall tales of orcs, goblins and trolls told in their youth to keep young dwarflings quaking in their bedsheets.

As though to prove precisely how unspoilt he was, his feet marched ahead - fearlessly, he imagined. Though the image of him pinching his nose and breathing through his mouth was perhaps less regal to those outside himself. “Come, brother, unless you’re too fearful.” His voice honked, nasally from his pinched nostrils, before he chose to remove his fingers and attempt to adjust to the stench - noticing how Kili came bounding into the cave, eager to prove his courage - or, again, stupidity - Fili thought with a slight smirk.

The cave was remarkably unextraordinary in appearance. Great congealed mounds of hideous brown and maroon - piled high enough to make Fili idly wonder how the trolls physically managed to get their crap to touch the ceiling. The reek was terrible enough to make the air in the cave feel balmy, like a sweaty summer’s day, as opposed to the typical damp cold stone walls such as these held. The flies which buzzed and crawled along the walls, floors and rugged ceiling of the hole did nothing to dispel the feeling of heat, and decay, and death. Bones of various humanoid creatures and animals littered the floors, picked clean apart from the odd dangling piece of skin. Much to his disgust, the blonde-haired prince trod on what he could only assume, given the long hair and flabby pink skin, was a piece of human scalp - that was enough to turn even his steel-clad stomach. “Apparently there is a creature who keeps their quarters messier than even you, Kili. I shall have to inform our mother.” Fili jabbed, watching with mirth as his brother’s face turned into light-hearted offence.

Before Kili could retort, Thorin spoke up. “A troll cave is no laughing matter - think on what your fate could have been if luck had not been on our side.” With that, Fili’s mirth shrank, and a more serious eye upon the bones and waste and junk filling the space made him realise that they could just as easily have joined the ranks of these lost souls. Only Fili would not call it luck so much - rather a quick-thinking hobbit and a conveniently timed wizard - still, he felt it best not to correct his uncle if his current mood was any indication of how well that would be appreciated. Instead, the dwarven prince moved closer to their leader, watching with a keen eye as Thorin pulled a wrapped weapon covered in a sticky, thick layer of cobwebs, followed by another, from within what might have been a weapons display rack in another life. Now, it looked like metal so rusted that a touch might have disintegrated it, mangled and curled almost to beyond recognition.

On the other side of the cave, Bofur, Gloin and Nori were setting about burying a small chest of shimmering golden coins for safekeeping - “We’re makin’ a long-term deposit!” Gloin exclaimed, no doubt as a response to Dwalin’s stoic, almost unreadable expression. Fili would say his look was one bordering on exasperation, but one never could tell with Dwalin. Fili was far more interested in the blades - while Gandalf said they were Elven, a fact which had his uncle perturbed and hesitant, Fili could not help but admire the craftsmanship of one dagger in particular. Wiping it free of cobwebs with the back of his sleeve, admiring the silver curve of the hilt, he pulled the wrappings away and almost felt his eyes gleam at the sharp edge of the blade, the slight curve to it which promised a beautiful cut. At that moment, he decided he didn’t mind much if it was forged by elves. Surely, it would serve better tucked away for him to use; than left to rot in some stinking cave. It wasn’t like he lacked blades, mind - but what was one more? He still had plenty of hiding places in mind.

Thorin turned to leave, unsatisfied with staying for much longer, and truly, Fili did not fancy loitering about for much longer. But something, right in the very corner of his peripheral vision, glinted in the light his uncle’s torch cast when he moved. It was a split second, but that second was enough to fill him with curiosity. “Wait, just a moment - what is that?” Even he could hear the perplexed tone to his voice, his outstretched finger pointing into the darkness at the very back of the cave. Watching where he stepped, Fili relied on the torch of Thorin, hot on his heels, to guide his way. Right behind another tower of steaming substances, the very edge of the… thing, must have glinted in the light. But what was it, he wondered.

It was not unlike a crystal - but one so massive, so much larger than any he had ever seen, that surely it could not be possible. Large enough that their hobbit could have laid flat on his back and stretched his arms as far behind his head as possible, and only then would that have made the length of it. The width was equally as impressive, if Fili had to guess, it was about as wide as both of his arms if he attempted to wrap himself around it. It was a strange colour, too. He had never seen a crystal of light turquoise before, and to see the puzzled, awed expressions on the faces of the elder dwarves who were crowding around the corner (who, quite frankly, were far more knowledgeable on such matters than he) told him he wasn’t far wrong.

“I have never- not in all my years, not even in great Erebor, seen a gem of such magnitude… Such a thing can't come from the earth!” Balin stumbled over his words, more than taken aback, and though Fili felt… Frightened? To touch it, his legs moved forward as though he was bewitched. It was a feeling like jumping into a lake when one was unable to swim, knowing he could sink beneath the water like a rock, but desiring to feel the cold and the wet upon his skin all the same. Perhaps he was more shaken up from the troll incident than he thought, for perhaps he’d gone mad, but the prince swore the crystalised walls of the gem pulsed with energy? It radiated something. His hand fell upon it, and he shouldn’t have been surprised that nothing happened, but he was all the same. Slightly warm to the touch, his hand felt thick with dirt, dust and cobwebs upon the surface. Sweeping his hand across, casting a streak which revealed the gem was a thousand shades of blue, green and white. Fili stood, utterly transfixed, dumbstruck - and about to lean in closer to get a better look-

“Come away! Get back!” Suddenly, there was Gandalf, and his large arm was pushing against his chest and shoving him back - and had he not been half as strong as he was, he would have fallen right on his arse from the force of it, but thankfully he managed to catch himself before he fell - or crashed into the tower of solidified troll shit. The wizard touched the gem, before retracting his hand and muttering something even he could not hear, and he was closest. “-It cannot be… It is not possible.” Fili eventually caught some of Gandalf's quiet mumbles, the words then sending his eyes searching the equally confused glances of the company.

“Gandalf? What is this folly, what is that? A gem?” His uncle broke the silence after a near minute passed off only the wizard’s whispers. To which Gandalf the Grey, cryptically, placed his hand upon the streak his own had cleared moments ago. “This is no gem, Thorin Oakenshield, something far more... Exceptional. A fossil, undoubtedly, a creature long dead. But the casing is not natural. It has power to it - magic, magic beyond the likes I have seen.” Gandalf’s words struck a chord, erupting a chorus of muttering among the dwarves. When Fili thought of fossils, his mind was cast to shells and the tiny bones of extinct creatures embedded in rock. Or perhaps to the perfectly preserved giant dragonfly in amber, which he recalled the inn closest to his childhood home displayed above the bar. The crystal before them did not resemble either of those things, not to him. Those things had felt dead, so dead that they became objects of fascination - curiosities for one to ogle at. Whether it was magic, as Gandalf said, or something else, he felt his palm tingle at the memory of the warmth that surface had held.

Against his better senses, Fili removed his overcoat of furs - brandished it before him, and wiped it up and down the ‘fossil’ to clear it of debris, bracing a hand along the edge near the top as he removed the now filthy furs, taking a look within before Gandalf could even think to stop him. And what he saw beggared belief. It was female - that much was abundantly obvious by the ornate gown that may have been silver, white, or a light blue. It was hard to say for sure with the crystal being coloured cold; turning all to a wispy blob - bigger in some refractions and smaller in others, she appeared to float among her frozen world. But what she was, he could not say. Fili has never seen anything like her.

His first instinct would have been to call her elven with her lithe frame and light hair. But that hair, long and coiled, appeared even lighter than the white-blonde of some elves, even in the blue-light - he imagined it would look like unspoilt, crisp snow, like moonlight’s glow, free from her prison. That, and she was far shorter than the typical elf - taller than Bilbo, but shorter still than Balin. Her ears stretched into a finer, thinner tip than elves from what he could see; like a honey-toned short dagger. In truth, her complexion was so warm - like honey in a jar, or the sun-kissed maidens said to reside south where the light was warm and bronzing. Truly, she may have been the most beautiful maiden he had ever set eyes upon. He could well have mistaken her for Varda Elentari, the Queen of the Valar and Lady of the Stars - whom the elves were said to worship as a Goddess. Such was his surprise that the hand he had used upon the top of her diamond coffin to brace himself slipped, the sharp edge catching and slashing his palm clean open.

His blood dripped in fat, heavy droplets down the surface of light blue, his palm stung hot and angry and throbbing as he stumbled back. Assessing the damage, he turned his head towards the others; all of whom were staring, not at him, but at the mass before them. And looking himself, he felt his own eyes turn to the size of dinner plates. Mahal above. A crack, about the size of his hand, had bloomed from where he cut his hand - and down it went, breaking and splintering along the trail of his blood. It was as though it was not solid crystalised amber after all, but ice cracking under the heat of fresh blood. His pupils followed the crack with such anticipation when it reached the floor, creating the tiniest of drops against the floor, that he nearly flew out of his skin when the entire thing shattered. A million aquamarine diamonds crashed to the floor, clattering and bouncing, as the figure they had held within equally collapsed into a heap.

It was stupid - truly and utterly thick-skulled of him - to have shot forward to grab the dead maiden as he did. As if she could have been alive and felt pain from crashing to the floor - but, touching her, scooping her away from the crystal which crunched beneath his feet like broken glass, light as she was it was like lifting a sack of flour… it dawned him too late that her body was limp, flaccid - she had ought to have been stiff as a board, rigid and dead and forever frozen in the preserved pose she had held for who knew how many years. He should have dropped her then and there, he saw his uncle surge forward from where he and the company had been… Frozen? Perhaps too shocked to move, or unable to? And when he looked back down at the woman, her eyelids were not closed with those darker eyelashes curling off the top of her cheeks, but open. And they were gold, a mixture of yellow topaz and golden coins, and there was something cold, hard and sharp pressed against the thin skin at his neck.

She… Pulled the elven dagger from where it had sat at the side of his breeches and had pressed it right against his neck. What was wrong with him, that he was more impressed than concerned that after, what, a few thousand years? The first instinct of this woman was to steal his weapon and hold him hostage with it. “Càit a bheil mi? Cò th 'annad? Bruidhinn - no gearraidh mi thu fosgailte!” Fili did not understand a word she said, she spoke in a language likely far forgotten - but her voice, while aggressive and provoked, was akin to the twinkling of a harp; musical, light and accented, it was unlike any spoken word he had ever heard, and he was dumbstruck. Even more so when the members of his company surged forward, only to be stopped, as though an invisible barrier stood between them - with a glance down, he saw her free palm outstretched toward them.

“I- I cannot understand-” The others could not proceed, but all the same Gandalf called out, stunted and clumsy - attempting to converse with the woman - though even he, with his knowledge, seemed to struggle with speaking what was likely an ancient language. “A bheil thu a ’bruidhinn an teanga cumanta?” The woman cast a look towards the wizard, not relenting in her pressure upon his throat, before turning her fiery gaze back towards him.

“Where… Is this? What time? Who…” Her voice trailed into a whisper. Initially, Fili thought her grasp on the common tongue was poor, and she was unable to express what she meant to say, but then he saw it. The outstretched arm was trembling - which hardly astonished Fili. How anything could even be alive, let alone up and attempting to fight, moved far beyond anything he knew to be real. Whatever she was, she had to be weak - she had to be using everything she had to prevent the company from reaching him. Taking advantage of the weakness he had only speculated, he very suddenly dropped his arms, and from the shock that crossed her face, perhaps she had been too focused on offence and answers to think of what or who was keeping her aloft. Though the knife was now away from his throat, and her hand had fallen; the dwarf could not help wondering if he had done a wicked thing. The creature had collapsed, a single streak of red blood running from her left nostril - her mouth drowned of colour such that he wondered if she were dead.

Even as Kili ran towards him, likely seeing if his throat had been nicked by the dagger, he could only watch Gandalf swoop in on the woman. The wizard lifted her chest upwards, ear pressed to the top of her chest to listen for a heartbeat, as Thorin brandished his recently acquired weapon, no doubt as a precaution. “What is it?” His uncle spoke deep, as Gandalf turned his head, breathing out in what, without words, truly sounded like disbelief. “A faerie, and believe me, never did I think I would meet one in the flesh. They were wiped out in the First Age - ripped apart, or worse, enslaved, by dark forces - orcs and far worse. I have no doubt that she is the last of her kind - that she is even alive is a miracle.” Gandalf spoke reverently, even as he lifted the limp, apparent faerie, into his arms. “And what do you suggest we do with it? Whatever it may be, it threatened my kin, and you cannot suggest we allow it to accompany us.” Thorin sounded resolute, but Gandalf appeared even more so. “If the legends of her kind are to be trusted, you would not be wise to make a fae your foe - I suggest we wait. I can not, in good conscience, leave her to die. And should she attempt an attack of that kind again, well, she shall find me far more prepared.”

[nandorisms]

✨️ I was tagged by @sherlockig and @peanutbutterex ✨️Thank you for tagging me 💜 You're both so sweet and kind. It always makes me smile to see your posts pop up on my dash! @peanutbutterex I'm so happy we can live in the Edward Teach brainrot together. And, @sherlockig you're a spot of sunshine, Ily!

Three Ships ->

Nandor the Relentless and Guillermo de la Cruz from What We Do In the Shadows. They are the ship that made me feel safe enough to step out of the closet since the community was so accepting, but they're definitely not my first mlm ship.

Stede Bonnet and Edward Teach from Our Flag Means Death. This is another show that just changed my brain chemistry and helped me embrace who I am. It was actually because of Vico that I began to explore my gender (though I've always tiptoed around gender fluidity throughout my entire life) But it was Ed that made me realize that I am trans masc. Ed, that made me realize that I can be a man, but I can be soft too, which is something I've always struggled with and admired other people for, since I grew up in a very abusive household, and have a horrible tendency of never showing emotions and bottling things up.

Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens for obvious reasons (if you noticed a pattern with my ships, you are correct)

First Ship ->

The first ship I remember shipping as a child was Gambit and Rogue. I grew up poor, so whatever show we could manage to get to work without being too blurry by fiddling with the bunny ears is what we watched. Though it was rare that ever I watched cartoons. My childhood consisted mainly of a lot of episodes of Seinfeld and News Radio because of older siblings.

My first mlm ship was Louis de Point du Lac and Lestat de Lioncourt

Last Song -> Myth by Beach House

Currently Reading -> Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree. I got recommended this book by a friend, and so far, I'm really enjoying it. What isn't there to love about a strong orc women abandoning her life of danger and adventure to indulge in a life of softness? Also wlw!

Last Film -> What We Do in the Shadows, it's my comfort movie, and it's something I can throw on in the background and completely relax. This movie is like a warm blanket for me, honestly.

Currently Craving -> Honestly? Roasted chicken, home made gravy, scalloped potatoes and lemon garlic green beans with a pat of butter, and a nice glass of riesling.

I don't know who to tag either @doktor-plague @ednacrabapple @stephpotterart @frenchiesflag and whoever else wants to do this 🌈 because I can't think of nine people while I'm sleep deprived

Nine people you'd like to know better

I was tagged by @darkinerry @funforahermit @stedesbonnets @serpenatrix @gentlebeard @blakbonnet @sleepystede @agaywithcoffee @ofmd-ann and @snake-snack-stede (love u all so sweet <3)

Three ships:

Ed and Stede are the one and only right now

Crowley and Aziraphale

Dont make me choose between my murder husbands and wives - Villanelle/Eve and Will/Hannibal.

First ship -> uuuh i dont even know. i was into harry and draco very early but i also had a few real people ships i will not speak about here and you all need to forgive me because i was 11 and the year was 2005 - we did not know better. i also might have shipped Aragon and Legolas when i was 7 or something but i dont know if that counts because i didnt know what it was. Also Will and Elizabeth from potc was my otp for a long time. the pirate brainrot runs deep in this one.

Last song -> the last dinner party - nothing matters

Currently Reading -> meow epos Moonstone Mage Championship (i am on chapter 6 now and i love it)

Last film -> the whole annabelle triologi in one sitting while trying to get some work done. if i work from home i get to have a horror movie playing the background as a reward. that is the rules

Currently craving -> a really cold redbull, some sour candy and 24 hours of deep melatonin infused sleep.

I dont know who to tag really because i feel like everyone and their mother have already done this so.. if you have already done it pls ignore me @izzy-b-hands @youshouldseemeinadeerstalker @hummingbee-o0o @nandorisms @appleteeth @eye-scream-girls @tabbystardust @lostanxiousfool and @glam-hutchence

[tastesoftamriel]

Hello, I was curious as to what your favorite Summer dishes from around Tamriel are? The types of dishes that are cool in temp/don't require much cooking?

While not every region of Tamriel experiences four seasons, we can all agree that one of the most important things in life is food that you'll still want to eat despite the presence of overbearing sunshine, flying insects, and sweltering heat. These are some dishes from across the continent that might tickle your fancy in the summertime!

Altmer

Chilled gazpacho aside, the Altmer really are the masters of summer dishes thanks to the warm and temperate climate of Summerset. One of my personal favourites, from Vulkhel Guard, is a medley of raw and lightly seared ocean fish and roe on a bed of sticky rice. The fish is delightfully fresh, and is seasoned with yuzu and saltrice sauce, before being topped with a healthy spoonful of salmon roe and shredded nori.

Argonians

It's (the worst part of) summer all year round in Black Marsh, and the food is there to help beat the heat! Chilled egg and crustacean custard sounds weird, it's truly delectable! A savoury egg custard is steamed in small bowls with any type of crustacean meat, or snails. It is then left to cool by leaving the bowls to float in water. The end result is creamy, delicious, and moreish!

Bosmer

Summer dishes in Valenwood are a cause for celebration among the Bosmer, because it means barbecue season! Break out the cold jagga, grab the coals, and bring as much meat as you can! All sorts of meats are great when barbecued, from squirrel and pork to timber mammoth and venison. Meat is always seasoned with rock salt before hitting the grill. Also, don't forget the iconic, squeaky grilled timber mammoth barbecue cheese!

Bretons

There's nothing quite like kicking back on a warm summer's day in High Rock with a light and refreshing cold roast chicken and millet salad, with deep fried dandelions and seasonal mushrooms. This salad, originating from Alcaire, is a great way to use up last night's roast chicken, and is great with a drizzle of Breton balsamic vinegar and a squeeze of lemon juice.

Dunmer

Summer is a wholly foreign concept in Morrowind, but light and refreshing food is always welcome against the volcanic heat. Strips of grilled, spiced guar are pounded til tender, then tossed into a stir fry of bittergreen, hackle-lo, and fried ash yam cubes. It's served with a good drizzle of comberry vinegar, and steamed or fried kwama egg saltrice.

Imperials

Every time I visit my home on the Gold Coast of Cyrodiil, I absolutely have to make my favourite regional dish that's perfect for summer: chicken and eggplant bake. Strips of chicken and eggplant are laid over a mix of scalloped potatoes and fresh tomato slices. They are covered in a bechamel sauce and lots of cheese then baked until golden. The end result is a creamy, tangy bake that's finished with a good drizzle of fresh pesto and West Weald pecorino.

Khajiit

One of my favourite dishes in all of Tamriel is a vermicelli salad from Southern Elsweyr, that can only be described as an explosion of colours, flavours, and textures. Cold vermicelli is tossed together with shredded green papaya in a sauce including ingredients like lime juice, fish sauce, moon sugar, and fresh chilis. It's topped with crispy, deep fried catfish, and crushed toasted nuts.

Nords

Whiterun Hold is home to Skyrim's summeriest of dishes, apple, jazbay grape, and cabbage slaw. It's made from a rich and creamy mayonnaise base, with slices of apples, chopped jazbay grapes, and an abundance of shredded cabbage. It is topped with walnuts and sometimes bacon lardons, and served lightly chilled. The slaw is usually served on its own as a small meal, or as a side to grilled meats.

Orcs

Wood Orcs in Valenwood have, like the Bosmer, become masters of the barbecue. However, they prefer to make skewers of spiced, minced meat and root vegetables, as opposed to plain chunks of meat. Minced beef, pork, or timber mammoth are mixed with a secret blend of spices, including cinnamon and frost mirriam, before being shaped into small bricks. The bricks are skewered with long metal rods, and grilled until there's a nice bit of char while still being juicy on the inside. Wash it down with a cold glass of sugar mammoth milk with mashed mango!

Redguards

Just like Elsweyr and Morrowind, summer isn't a concept in the hot and rugged land of Hammerfell. Keeping cool meals ready to serve in johads, or rain catchers, is an Alik'r trick that's been passed down for generations. Pre-cooked saffron rice with nuts and dried fruit are wrapped tightly in palm leaf packages, and left to cool in the waters of the johad. When it's time to eat, simply unwrap the cool rice and serve with curries, goat's yoghurt sauce, or chutneys. Simple, light, and good to tuck into after a scorching day in the Alik'r.