#Don’t expect me to stay consistent on what fandoms I post for I’m all over the place

[xensmells]

idk how to really say this, but I just wanted to say tysm for all the kind rbs and like a ton of likes holy shit!! I’m still kind of new to tumblr from I don’t use it that often but I still wanted to say thank you omfg

rip vittu ultrakill

[suzyq31]

A note to fellow Harmony readers/writers

Hello everyone,

I feel the need to say something about recent events. A post on the Harmony subreddit has given a platform for people to air their grievances about a particular story. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this happen and have been on the receiving end. And it really sucked. I’ve let myself believe that is part of being in this fandom, having your work ripped apart publicly and regularly.

I would like to ask the moderators of these spaces to please consider changing their stance on this. Adding in a rule that prevents posts like the one mentioned, among others. Again, this really isn’t meant to cast blame on any particular person. There was a comment about how writers need to stop acting like their god's gift to writing or the fandom, and to simply get over negative criticism. I want to clarify I don’t think that I’m special, or that my voice matters because I happen to write fanfic.

I’m no god, but I am a human. One who is dealing with their own pain as best they can. There are real problems that are much larger than fandom. Which makes it all the more difficult when I do choose to escape the horrors, only to find more negativity. I don’t expect the internet to always be a ‘safe space', but I do think fandom spaces can be more focused on positivity.

All of this has made me reevaluate my own role within fandom. I’m giving myself time and grace to make a final decision on how I want to move forward. In the meantime I would encourage anyone who cares about the fandom community to please reach out to the team at HMS Harmony (with kindness, they are also humans with feelings and lives.) If you feel inclined you could ask them to consider adding some caveats on how fics are discussed on public spaces such as Reddit and discord.

On another note, I myself haven’t always been as kind as I would have liked. If I’ve ever said something that’s upset anyone, I’m sorry. I regret some of the ways I’ve shown up in fandom over the years. I’m personally working on my own anger that I wrestle with, in real life and on the internet. Overall I would love to see if we could all think more carefully in how we discuss things, especially people’s creative work.

If you are a reader, there are so many positive ways you can contribute. The number one way is to reach out to those authors whose work you adore, especially those who don’t receive many comments. Tell them what you love about how they write Harry and Hermione, let them know their work matters to you. I promise it will make their day and encourage them to keep going. When you participate in fandom, focus on discussing the stories that make you go hell yes! Make fandom friends, who you can privately talk more in depth about works or what doesn’t work for you in a fanfic. Discord can feel private! But when you have over 5k members it isn’t and discussions that veer into complaining about an author’s choices it can start to come across as a pile up. I know hearing about how my own stories are discussed has left me discouraged.

To quote Albus Dumbledore-"Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.” There is collective power in how we engage. I’ve personally adored this pairing since I was a young child. To this day I still remember some of the storylines that I would play over and over in my head. I took solace in the magical world when I was bullied and I spent my lunch hours hiding in the library with my copy of PoA. As an adult I’ve turned to writing fanfic while trying to manage grief and the overwhelm of figuring out this next stage of my life. What has stayed consistent is my love of these characters.

It took me 22 years to start writing down my ideas, and I’ve found a lot of joy in doing so. I know many other writers have to. There really is nothing like getting a story out of your head and onto the page, even better? Getting to share it with others who love those characters too. We should think of ourselves as lucky that there are so many different stories out there to choose from. And that so many people choose to share their creativity with the world. I truly think we have more in common than we may realize, readers/writers/moderators etc.

I’ll leave you with this poem, because I find poetry always expresses things better than I can.

All the best,

Suzy.

[cdyssey]

Abbott 2.15 Thoughts:

ABBOTT TIME. I drew this last night because I didn’t have the episode to obsess over.

“I am one minor inconvenience away from putting this whole day in rice.” What a glorious expression, omg.

Ava about Jacob’s carrot cookies: “Mm, no. Just looking at them almost put me over the top.” WKWJWNSNS. Also, Ava’s entirely pink pantsuit, omfg. Hot.

Melissa having her kids in line two seconds into the fire alarm vs. Ava HIGH-TAILING it OUT OF THERE QKQKWNDNSKAK. (It’s funny and so consistent with what we know about her!! She’s a Doomsday prepper! She’s always fearing the worst!)

YOU’RE FUCKING KIDDING ME. I WAS ANGST-POSTING ABOUT BARB’S CANDLE ACCIDENTALLY BURNING HERS AND MEL’S TABLE AND IT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!! LISTEN!

Mel: “Because as someone who wanted to be a firefighter, I hate fires. They sicken me. I want to fight them.” / Barb: “Smoke and fire—the devil’s fresh air.” Get you two girlfriends who have very strong opinions about fires.

The actor who plays Captain Robinson looks so familiar to me, omg. I’ve seen this dude before, but WHERE?

QQKWJWNWJEJEJDDJ, Ava’s prepper video. She’s gonna fight fire with fire.

“Facebook crashing—that’s for the older teachers… and a lice outbreak—for the white teachers.” Lmfao.

“Oh, my God. Someone’s trying to use cashmere and Jesus to blackmail Barbara.” / “You mean frame.” / “Semantics.” QOQOQKQMSNDNSJSJJSS. Name another show on air rn that’s funnier than this. Goddamn.

Mel about a fire truck: “Yeah, that’s—that’s one big daddy.” SOBBING. DON’T SAY IT LIKE THAT.

“That’s where youse all work those cute little puppy dog eyes to get the firefighters to let us play on the truck.” AOQMQWNSN. She is so fucking adorable.

Mel’s uncle being a firefighter and Joe maybe having been a firefighter!

“Wow�� would you look at this big hunk of”—the firefighter assumes she’s coming over to flirt—“metal.” AKQWMENDJE.

“See, this is why I love fire trucks. I get older—they stay the same.” WOQOWJDNS. I’m losing it.

HOT COUNSELOR. WE DID IT, FANDOM. WE MANIFESTED HOT COUNSELOR.

“It is late morning, and the container is still completely full. I’ll pass.” QQKWJWJWJSJSJSDS.

“Me? Oh, I’m just fine.” Barbara Howard being in full mask mode. Oh, my God.

“Are you writing I’m fine?” / “Well, that’s a lot of writing for ‘I’m fine.’” / “It’s just two words and one of them is a contraction.” Not only does Barbara have to assert to herself that she’s fine, but she also has to be externally validated that other people are buying into her outward shields as well.

“So if there’s anyone to blame, it would be the wind.” 😭 Sobbing.

“Yes, but it seems like you’re an investigator of feelings. And I want you to know that I am feeling just fine.” Barbara spiraling. Y’all, I can’t do this.

Janine trying to use the trauma counselor like a therapist. 😭

Mel showing off her knowledge about fire trucks. This girl is hyperfixated!!!! She’s just like me, fr!! AKANSNSS, her getting inside the truck and honking the horn.

Gregory needing to put on his sweater + that little smirk he gives to the camera. AJWNDNS. God, I love him. / The counselor going, “We’ll dig into that later.” WKWKEJDNS.

“I’ve longed for protocol. This is the best day of my life.”

Gregory guessing that almost everyone in the book except for Barbara is not well-adjusted because no one expects for her to fall apart. She’s so good at keeping it together. Oh, my fucking GOD. (Also, lmao, at Mr. Johnson being the singlemost well-adjusted man the counselor has ever met.)

“I’m talking about Barbara Howard.” / “Are you sure don’t mean Janine?” NOT GREGORY GESTURING AT KID HEIGHT. ANQJWJKWDJ.

“Nothing shakes up people more than a fire. There’s usually something under the surface.” / “I feel like you’re reading her wrong. Barbara is the most put together and collected person at this school.” Sobbing. And then Barbara comes in AGAIN to reiterate that she’s fine. She has to hear SOMEONE ELSE tell her and confirm that she’s fine. She’s so insecure if she perceives that people aren’t buying her “I’m fine/I’m perfect” shtick. JESUS. I’m so normal about Barbara Howard.

WOQQKSJSJS. Barbara has never listened to Chaka Khan’s “Through the Fire” on her PANDORA. That is such a perfect detail. These writers know their characters so well.

Gregory coming to check in on Barbara. 🥺

“You are not a principal, Gregory. You are but a child.” HELP.

“I’m as good as it gets. Perfect, even.” I am UNWELL about this woman.

“Gregory, I am spiritually tenured. Mandates are nothing more than fervent suggestions. Ava would let me skip this.” QOQKQKWKWIEJDNSNSN. I know all my Barbava friends screamed.

“And don’t you think that if anyone should attend the fire safety meeting, it should be you, considering…?” 😭😭

“My shawl caught fire on a stained-glass Jesus candle. Nobody got hurt. So why don’t we all just put this ordeal behind us and move forward?”

Gregory putting his foot down!!!

“I miss Ava.” THE EMPHASIS IN MRS. BARBARA HOWARD’S VOICE. WKWNSNS. JERI, JERI, ARE YOU OKAY?

Melissa’s kids being bored af akkwjwiwjdnsw.

Gregory confiding in Janine about his worries about Barb, and Janine immediately going through the gamut of concerned questions. 😭 That’s their MOM.

“Doesn’t even make sense. Why would a fire own sunglasses?” Lmfao.

“Less of a question and more of a comment. I could run this meeting in my sleep.” Her energy in this episode GOD.

Melissa’s dreams of being a firefighter crushed by misogyny. 😭

“You can’t spell firefighter without ‘her.’” JACOB KQOQKWWKEJD.

Teddie trying to be Barbara’s supporters behind her, but Gregory getting himself into some deep shit by intuiting that Barbara’s insecurity is “getting older and becoming forgetful.” Melissa, indignant, protective: “What the hell?”

“You have no idea the nonsense that teachers get away with here repeatedly, but the one time I light a candle for peace of mind, without ever having a prior problem, you want to take it away from me. Well, that is unfair and ridiculous!” I AM SOBBJNG.

MEL RUNNING AFTER HER. THOSE ARE MY WORK WIVES.

Barbara in her classroom, arms crossed over her chest, breathing heavily. Hhhgh, and Mel immediately showing up to console her.

WOWOQKSNSJW, MEL TRYING TO CONSOLE HER VIA SHOWING HOW HOT SHE LOOKS NEXT TO A FIRE TRUCK. “Hard to be mad when I look that good.”

“Your hair matches the truck. Marvelous.” This is a funny line, but the way Barbara’s voice is on the verge of breaking. I’m going to McFucking lose it, and Melissa hears it too.

“You wanna talk about it?” Barbara initially shakes her head and repeats the same refrain she’s been peddling all episode, “I’m fine.” But then, because it’s Melissa, because she feels safe with her, she turns around and confides. “Been dealing with Gerald’s health.” There are tears in my eyes.

Melissa, wide-eyed, so goddamn tender: “Barb.” / “We had a prostrate situation.”

Melissa puts a hand on Barbara’s arm: “Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. Is he okay?” All of the mirth Mel has displayed throughout the entire episode is gone. She’s so present and sensitive to Barbara Howard.

“Yeah, doctor call this morning, said he is in the clear.” / Melissa, exhaling in relief: “Oh, thank God.” / “But those PSA numbers came back high. And y-y’know, the past few days, just waiting to find out the results, it’s been stressful.” / “Of course. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know.” Melissa’s voice being as gentle as it is literally going to break me.

“Well, all I could do was light my candle and pray… what was I gonna do? Sit around and worry about it all day? That never does any good.” Sheryl Lee Ralph, I’m sending you my therapy bill, and also nominating you for another Emmy. 😭

“Right? That’s life. Just always something coming at ya. You just gotta keep on truckin’.”

“I mean, if we were to blab every time life got hard, we would be…” / “Janine.” / GOD WKQOWKWDNKEJWJEJDNSS.

“Janine,” Barbara repeats, and they both laugh. Melissa teased that beautiful laugh out of her, and you can see that Barb has exhaled a little bit, just being able to confide in one of the people she loves and trusts most in this world. Don’t talk to me for 3-7 business days. I’m a WRECK.

“Oh, I’m glad he’s okay, honey.” And Mel goes in for the hug, but Barb’s back in composure mode, and she resists the full version. She’s still clearly… unsettled. 😭

MEL STEALING THE FIREFIIGHTER’S KEYS SJSJIWJS.

IT’S A FIFTY-SEVEN STEP RECIPE. AKQKWNSNWJS.

Jacob engineering a situation where they can use the aerial for Melissa. That’s his work mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Well, either way, I will not be lighting my candle anymore. And that’s life, right? Right?” 😭 Life has only taught her that she has to repress the things that give her comfort. Ma’am.

BARBARA CONSOLING HER STUDENT. I’M INCONSOLABLE.

“You know it’s okay to feel scared. You don’t have to pretend that you’re not. Pretending can make it harder.” And then she reaches out and offers the student her hand. “You know; sometimes Mrs. Howard gets scared… and upset too.” Her smile briefly falls, her mask. “And that’s okay. Okay?” I’m sk fucking. I am 😭😭😭

MELISSA ON THE AERIAL!!!!!! JACOB BEING PUMPED.

“Ooh, should she really be up there in heels?” / “She’s wearing a helmet.” AKQOQKWISNSJ

“Hey, why don’t you try playing a sport that actually involves balls—like downhill skiing.” AQoqojqqoJQJWJDJD.

The Schemmentis being a legend. 😭 THE FIRE BEING STARTED BY HER OTHER UNCLE. “And I’m not snitching. He’s proud of it!”

Barbara clearing things up with the counselor!!! The counselor suggesting a day off!!!!!!!!! The counselor KNOWING that she can’t call it a mental health day because Barbara would never take it because she doesn’t consider her mental health as being a valid reason for taking care of herself. 😭

Barb taking the day off!!!!!!!!

“Just because you’ve got a round face like the Teletubbies sun baby doesn’t mean that the world revolves around you.” OQKQWKSNSNSN, AVA, MA’AM, I MISSED YOU. They write the funniest shit for her.

Ava trying to send Barb to the spa!! Barb spending time with her hubby. Listen, I’m sentimental.

MELISSA THINKING THE COOKIES ARE DELICIOUS SJSJDJS.

Perfect, perfect, perfect episode. I’m not going to stop thinking about it for five weeks. Oh, my God.

[netvs]

my roleplay rules !!

requests: open !

•••

hello, i’m net ! (:

contents

i. main muses/ships

ii. what i’m looking for in a roleplay partner

iii. what i’m looking for in a roleplay partner: extra information

iv. plots/au’s

v. replies

vi. i’m not into the roleplay, what do i do ?

vii. triggers and nsfw

<3

i. main muses/ships

i’ll usually make a post if i’m currently looking to roleplay a certain ship, but i also take requests as well ! the fandoms i’ve make roleplay posts for in the past are all fine to request ships from !

although, here are some things i will not roleplay:

pedophilia/incest/etc. (anything that revolves around a relationship dynamic i don’t agree with)

anything with genderbent characters/alternative canon characters in cxc pairings

ii. what i’m looking for in a roleplay partner

please be either literate or novella. my responses vary in length from a few to a couple paragraphs based on my level of inspiration in the moment. that doesn’t mean i will always give lengthy responses, and i don’t expect the same from you either, but i want there to be an equal exchange with replies

please be 20 or over (if you’re above 25, please let me know and i’ll tell you if i’m comfortable or not)

please be able to roleplay over discord

i also prefer to include NSFW in my roleplays, so i prefer you be okay with that as well ! (DOES DEPEND ON THE SHIP, BUT APPLIES FOR MOST CASES)

*more information below

iii. extra information

if you prefer to send me a message over discord instead of talking here, please message me and i will give you my handle. please include your own user name as well so i know the request is coming from you

iv. plots/au’s

i’m always open to hear plot/au ideas you may want to try ! i try to have a variety of different plot ideas prior to planning and don’t mind working together to come up with an alternative plot as well

v. replies

my replies are based off of if i’m motivated to reply, meaning if i’m unmotivated i’m less likely to reply until that motivation comes back. that being said, i can’t give a time frame as to when i’ll reply, but if i need to take a break i will let you know. please do not consistently pester me to reply

if a long span of time passes without a reply, feel free to remind me or mention it ! chances are i’m either lacking inspiration or just busy with life. i also welcome casual chatting outside of roleplay and encourage it, so feel free to use that as a way to ask about replies as well

if you need a break from the roleplay, don’t be afraid to tell me ! i encourage you to take a break if you’re busy with things or just can’t find the time or motivation to reply. don’t feel like you have to push yourself !

vi. i’m not into the roleplay, what do i do ?

if you’re not interested in the roleplay anymore, don’t be afraid to tell me ! you don’t owe me an explanation of any sort and i won’t ask for one but please tell me instead of staying quiet ! if you’d prefer not to tell me though i don’t mind if you leave the conversation and i won’t question you for it

if you’re unhappy with the plot we’re using in the roleplay and are open to the idea of changing it, i’m totally down and willing to plan out a new plot to use ! just mention the idea to me and we can work it out ! this also applies to starting a completely different roleplay. if we’ve already been roleplaying, i’m more open to doing any roleplays you may be more interested in !

vii. triggers and nsfw

i’m pretty lenient in terms of triggering things that could be mentioned, although there are some things i will not want included in roleplays. if i’m uncomfortable with something being mentioned within the roleplay i will let you know. feel free to send any triggers you have as well so i know what to avoid !

i also have a preference to include NSFW/smut within my roleplays, but it does differ depending on the age of the characters/their dynamic. if you’re unsure, just ask !

•••

if you’ve read this entire post, thank you so much ! it means a lot to me (: if you feel you’ve found a suitable roleplay partner and want to message me, my dm’s are open !

[estrelladeishtar-archive]

Catch me resurfacing after 5000 years only to (maybe) slip back away & into the void of space like some kinda cryptid

Also I updated the desktop blog themes for here & my personal bc it’s about time I got off my ass & did that

Anyway

I guess we’ve been long overdue for an updates post yeah? Last one I made was legit Nov 2021... I think I should at least leave another update post before seeing if I’m still around or end up vanishing yet again, lmfao But regardless, getting to the point...

Tossing shit under a read more just so that in case of a lengthy ass post it doesn’t clog people’s dashboards (dashboards? timelines? ...I’ve been mostly on twitter lmao so). TL;DR, life’s come swinging hard at me so it’s kept all of my focus mostly on personal matters, less on art, even with still creating things in the distance despite taking a lengthy hiatus (that’s arguably still ongoing? a semi hiatus now perhaps) so.

So I mean, for starters its kinda. Obvious that I’ve been more active on other social media sites rather than here, & tbh whether I really stick around here for long or end up disappearing back into the depths once more for whatever unforeseen reason is yet to be seen, especially since I only really use this place on occasion (for my mental health’s sake, mostly, whether that’ll change over time or will always remain in this “appears only occasionally” cycle is something we’ve yet to see, but for now... just don’t count on me really being consistently active here)

But even with being more active on other places I’ve still taken a semi-hiatus/hiatus, with a major part of that being attributed to uh. Health issues coming back with a vengeance & tryna crush me lol. I mean that’s, kinda par for the course with chronic illness I guess? But it’s put a heavy emphasis on me having to look after myself even moreso than before, & this amidst still processing some really heavy shit I mentioned in my last update that I won’t get into (bc it’s both deeply personal & very trigger heavy), on top of other things life keeps throwing at me (because of course it would), well I’ve just taken priority on taking care of that & making sure I’m fine &... thus not really being too present on here or anywhere really. Sometimes showing up on occasions because I engage with astrology related communities (since I’m learning more on that & other personal practices I won’t bore y’all with), sometimes showing up to support other artists, but yeah.

I do admit tho I’ve still been creating stuff in the background. Be it practicing with stuff art wise or working on other personal OC stuff or projects, I’ve had that still, & its one of the things that helps keep me afloat whilst also navigating, well, life itself. It’s admittedly been difficult navigating shit also tho because due to my health situation, I can’t really do comms (& I’ve been on break from them due to burnout), so income’s been... troublesome to say the least considering medical bills & all that. So trying to find ways to get that & sometimes getting help from others has been another thing that’s kept me away, but yeah.

Ultimately tl;dr of it is that I’ve just had life itself as a priority above all other things. & it’s bound to stay that way for a while, so yeah. But I still do want to see if, on occasions I’m on here posting art, I can maybe share some stuff around the OCs I’ve worked on/created/etc, as well as maybe lore for personal worldbuilding stuff?

I mean I need to share it on my toyhouse eventually anyway LOL, & AT LEAST on here I can make posts about OCs without being constrained to a fucking 280 char limit per post if I opt to do so 💀 Or see what else I choose to share as well as the art I make from time to time? Especially since I’ve been majorly revamping my own OCs & even with my sona I’ll soon be showcasing their proper ref in full with all forms of them/versions of em, both in & out of fandom but. yeah. Things to come.

Also- do expect more of this acct to start turning more OC focused or, IF I share fancharacters, its more centered around them... It doesn’t mean I’ll stop doing fanart no, since I do enjoy doing that on my spare time too, BUT I want my focus shifted primarily on OC content more since that’s my own personal passion anyway (be it OCs, fancharacters, self ship stuff too, or other’s OCs also) & cause I usually have more to ramble on about when it comes to OCs? So yeah. I plan to also implement other changes later into this acct but I’m presently just figuring that mess out while still being on semi-hiatus so yeah.

I hope all of y’all have been doing well & I do appreciate those who’ve stuck around still despite my routine appearing & disappearing bs lmao, & I wish y’all well also

...This update turned a lot longer than I anticipated but hey, least it’s not me updating at some weird ass fucking hour bc of being wide awake at strange times (my sleep schedule’s still broken as hell) (no its not ever going to improve probably) (Its been this way since 2010) (so don’t count on it improving)

[tenebrius-excellium]

It leaves me very confused and a little sad that there isn’t a richer, larger, more united and more enthusiastic fanbase for the Avatar movies. I’ve been waiting for commentaries on the second movie, both indulging and critical, and there’s a mere trickle of content appearing in the tags. So far, they all fall in weirdly isolated columns of character x reader, Kiri stans, ‘I loved the movie!’ one liners, ‘boycott Avatar’, Na’vi learners and people being horny over clone!Quaritch on main. 

There isn’t much meta despite the universe being huge, fairly consistent, and ever-expanding. The like-to-reblog ratio on posts is catastrophic. There’s not much art. I miss people being excited. I miss discourse, headcanons and AUs! I miss people giving detailed reasons for the way they respond to the movie, no matter whether they liked it or not. Nothing seems to stick despite so many refined details, e.g. the Metkayina using sign language underwater and having inner eyelids like amphibians! Or the fact that the explanations for the use of English, Kiri’s and Spider’s existence etc. were quite thought-out and satisfying. 

Sure, there’s the epic Pandoran world on one hand, and then there’s of course the “Cameronism”: The two-pronged personal fantasy of the director who is playfully exploring colonialism as negative while reaffirming it in the same breath, combined with a bland, overly conservative story. If the plot really reflects Cameron’s thinking, it is dangerously outdated by 15-20 years and cannot stay relevant. But the point to me is: It was to be expected. 

Avatar and Avatar The Way Of Water are US-American Hollywood stories based on military culture. Once you know that, it is my firm belief that it’s possible to detach yourself from that lense. But perhaps I really am arguing from a merely European perspective that is so used to mediocre language dubs, the strange obsession with heroism, patriotism, weapons and violence, and other US-specific phenomenons that just feel generally outlandish to non-US viewers. We don’t have the same problems, so being constantly faced with yours through entertainment media causes us to... kinda tune those out and enjoy what’s left, tbh. Because some of them are really painfully cringe up to completely unthinkable to the rest of the world. Even the first Avatar was never intended as a global story; - although the RDA is supposedly composed of international players, the representation on Pandora is purely US-American, even more, it’s not even covering all of your own ethnic variety. So if we can’t even expect European, Asian, African and South-American scientists in the space mission, what are we supposed to expect about indigenous voices of smaller civilizations? 

What I’m trying to say is, US media currently have a certain range of messages they convey even here in Europe, because, well, you still have the monopoly on filmmaking and we watch all of your stuff. However, we are very aware that your POV is narrow and limited since it rarely actually applies to us. And sooo, what do we do with the reality of our own exclusion that we are inevitably constantly reflecting? We ignore it, we roll our eyes and don’t think too deeply on it, we leave you guys to solve your own problems and enjoy what’s given. Perhaps we are able to separate a fantastic narrative from the cultural/ political clashes that come with it a little better, because most of the time, we don’t identify with the latter. I’m not saying the differences are in any way good or that they should stay that way. I’m saying that from where I’m at, Batman, Spiderman and Avatar don’t look too different to me when it comes to elaborate escapist fantasies about good vs. evil, and media might not quite be as relevant to conflicts as they seem in the US. Education is much more important, and to act in real life rather than in fiction. As for me, I’ll appreciate Avatar like any other fandom space, because the concept is extraordinary, its future potential still enormous, and I would love for more positive interaction. I harbor the sliiiight hope that Cameron might grow out of his current spree and redeem himself in one of the later sequels. Since there are going to be 3 more of them, you know. There you go :)

[cappycodeart]

Welcome to CappyCodeArt!

Hello! Welcome to Cappy's art blog! I'm mostly an OC artist, but from time to time I get into fan art phases as well. Don’t expect consistency from me! I tend to create whatever makes me happy in the moment and am not pressured to post art to keep a following. Regardless of the reason that you are here, I hope you enjoy your stay!

Looking for a specific kind of artwork? Check out my list of tags that I use. Keep in mind that I still need to organize the older posts on my blog so some posts may be missing if you search this way. 

If you'd like to know more about my characters, feel free to peruse my toyhouse! These characters are for my own comfort/entertainment and I share their wacky stories with others as a convoluted way to express myself.

Like what I do? Support me on my Ko-Fi! https://ko-fi.com/cappycode For commission inquiries, please check out: https://vgen.co/cappycode

Click on the read more to see my to-do list!

List of projects currently in the works:

Post a backlog of all the art I’ve been hoarding from the interwebs

➔ Work in progress

Complete a total archive of all my characters on Toyhouse

➔ On that note, illustrate / complete some chronological visual for my main character’s backstories / primary stories...

Make a game? (Visual Novel? RPG?)

➔ Currently thumbnailing concepts. I have the tools for both I just don’t have an idea I actively like enough to obsess over yet LOL- 

Periodically update my ask blogs (because I still love them)

➔  Top Hat Trio

➔  Once-ler In The Woods

Post more videos on youtube

➔ Probably art / OC related. Again.

➔ Maybe a more fandom based AMV but nooot,,, likely

New Redbubble designs

PRACTICE MORE ANIMATION!! 

Will be updated periodically whenever I come up with new ideas / projects but here’s an idea of all the stuff I’m currently working on! (Aside from like irl mental health stuff or whatever).

[insaneoldme]

Can you rec buddie fics? Pretty please?

OMG it's my time to shine, bitches!!!

Sorry if I went a little nuts, but this fandom has some of the best writers I've ever seen. I have 186 Buddie fics bookmarked in my AO3,

I'll link here if you are interested in taking a look cause if I put them all here it would be too long. Also, I tried to show here some fics I very rarely see recced, and a little bit o the classics. This fandom has some very underrated authors, everyone in my bookmarks is worth taking a look really.

Please take a look at the warnings before reading, enjoy!!!

I Hate Accidents (Except When We Went From Friends to This) by morganofthefairies (Rated E )

Buck and Eddie had always been unconventional. Neither of them gave it much thought – they were just them. Buck and Eddie - partners, best friends, co-parents – just as entangled in each other’s lives as any actual couple in the 118.

Or, the story of how Buck and Eddie went about their relationship in entirely the wrong order.

My Heart's Been Borrowed by ElvenSorceress (Rated E)

aka the one where Taylor gives Buck his ultimate fantasy and uncovers far more than either of them expected, forcing him to confront his long held feelings for Eddie

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by HMSLusitania (Rated E)

Buck 1.0 fathered a child and Buck 4.0 comes into custody.

Love and Bullets Both Shatter Hearts (But Only One Can Put You Back Together) (Rated E)

Agent [Redacted] Diaz is the best at what he does. Usually. But lately there's this real pain in the ass* who's been ruining his missions: Code Name "Buck."

Keep It On by R_E_R6 (Rated E)

When Eddie walks in on Buck, bent over in nothing but a hoodie, their plans for the night immediately change. Buck's outfit though? Well, Eddie requests that it stays the same...for reasons.

Heart of Flowers / Heart of Gold by ElvenSorceress (Rated T)

Buck nearly loses everything and Eddie has to follow his heart

hungry for your love by evcndiaz (Rated G)

prompt: "who’s gonna write a fanfic where chris is not cooperating with buck and eddie accidentally says “listen to your dad”?"

or; breadsticks are a metaphor for love and boning

keep your eyes on the road by iriswests (Rated M)

A glimpse into buck and eddie’s developing relationship, told through ten moments stopped at a traffic light

when things fall into place by woodchoc_magnum (Rated M)

In which Eddie asks Buck to move in with them during lockdown to help look after Christopher, which leads to certain unresolved feelings being resolved.

Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

Evan "Buck" Buckley has made a name for himself as the independent bad boy of archaeology. At least, until Professor Eddie Diaz shows up with his fedora and good looks and starts beating Buck to the punch more often than not.

Buck hates his stupid six-pack covered guts.

Except for how... he might not.

Objects in the Mirror by SevenSoulmates (Rated E)

The voice had always been around, Eddie remembers it, like a stream of consciousness that babbled incoherently to the point where Eddie just tuned it out.

But then the voice started speaking directly to him. Conversing like he was a whole person standing right in front of him. Like he could see what was happening around Eddie.

Eddie shook his head. No one was talking to him, and Eddie most certainly was not talking back.

He wouldn’t talk to the boy in his head ever again. There was no boy in his head.

ripples all the way down by iriswests (Rated M)

christopher partakes in some parent trapping

dream of some epiphany by extasiswings (Rated M)

Evan Buckley is lost.

It’s happenstance that he wanders into the navy recruiting center—he’s been in San Diego for a few weeks, bartending late nights and weekends, living in a house with three other guys not because he needs the roommates but because he doesn’t want to be alone, and the military is…respectable. Stable. So Buck thinks maybe and opens the door.

Buck leaves ten minutes later with a set of printed instructions for sending his first letter, assured that he can drop it off whenever he’s ready, and a name.

Staff Sergeant Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz.

Relationship Advice from Complete Strangers Online by HMSLusitania (Rated T)

Hi, I’ve never made a Reddit post before and I’m not 100% sure what I’m doing but I need advice and can’t ask anyone in my real life. So, I [30M] have this best friend [34M]…

Leading with the Left by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico."

And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?"

In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.

fireflies where my caution should be by littlesnowpea (Rated M)

“You never talk about your parents,” Eddie says, which is not even remotely what Buck expects Eddie to say. He frowns, tilts his head, but it isn’t a question, as evidenced by Eddie charging on. “I never asked because I figured it was your business, but the look on your face any time they’re brought up tells me you don’t get along.”

Buck swallows hard, against a lump in his throat. His parents? Eddie’s right, he never talks about them, for good reason. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, not sure what he’s even going to say.

Eddie takes it as the answer Buck is trying to make it out to be. He squeezes Buck’s wrist again, takes a deep breath, like he’s on a call with someone who’s panicking. Buck finds his breathing slowing to match Eddie’s, and Eddie nods as Buck gets it under control.

“There are people on the porch,” Eddie says, voice even. “Saying they want to meet their grandchild.”

Asked, Offered, Given, (He's) Taken by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

People like to flirt with Buck on calls. It kind of makes Buck uncomfortable.

And that makes Eddie frustrated.

I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

When Buck is forced to confront the truth about his breakup with Abby, having casual sex with his hot new coworker seems like the best rebound idea.

Unfortunately, that hot new coworker turns into his best friend. But best friends can keep having sex with each other, right?

There's no way this could possibly go wrong.

Memorable by JessicaMDawn (Rated T)

Six times Buck got recognized by people he saved during the tsunami, and how his team realized he was a hero.

All Bets are Off by NobodyKnows_U (Not Rated)

Or, the five times the firefam realized Buck and Eddie were in love, and the one-time Eddie finally did something about it.

fire on fire by extasiswings (Rated T)

Or: Buck and Eddie get in the habit of sharing a bed while living together during quarantine. It's platonic until it isn't.

Better Together by Randomfandombloggs09 (Not Rated)

5 times Eddie sees Buck wearing his last name and 1 time its not just his

Daddy and Pops by EdithBlake (Rated M)

When Christopher calls Buck 'Pops' things get a bit confusing. Buck and Eddie have a talk with Christopher that ends up with both of them being even more confused by how right it sounds.

the meaning of the words you see by florenceandthemachine (Rated E)

unknown sender: Hi!

unknown sender: Just wanted to say thanks for letting me buy you a drink, and for your number. Sorry I had to run.

unknown sender: I’m Eddie by the way.

sent: hey um

sent: i don’t want 2 be this guy but

sent: i think u mayb put the wrong # in ur phone

the dream you wish will come true by woodchoc_magnum (Rated M)

In which Christopher Diaz cannot understand why his father would want to date his former teacher when Evan Buckley is right there.

vienna waits for you by mottainai (Not Rated)

Eddie doesn't deserve a soulmate.

Work Husband by hideeho (Rated T)

“What...what have you done with Buck?” Eddie is going to kill him for messing with his phone. No, that’s too extreme. He’s going to maim him. Just a little.

“Check under H,” Chim offers helpfully, shooting a look over to Hen with a smirk.

Why the hell would he be under—

Then he sees it.

Husband.

Bad Neighbors by firstdegreefangirl (Rated E)

Eddie's new neighbors are keeping him up all night. He calls on his best friend for a little taste of their own medicine.

Cross the Line by Sirencalls (Rated E)

Eddie laughs, short and quiet and almost to himself. “No. If you want to learn, then I’m gonna be the one to teach you.”

Buck is pretty sure his brain stops working. “What? Why?”

Eddie turns to look at him and steps closer, their chests only a few inches apart. “Because there are people out there who will take advantage of how naïve you are. They’ll hurt you, and I won’t.” Eddie’s eyes are so intense that Buck doesn’t have any choice but to believe him. “If you want someone to do this for you, to—to dominate you, it has to be me. I don’t trust anyone else to do it right.”

pretty in pink by dykeevans (Rated E)

Buck forgets that he and Eddie made plans to hang out until Eddie shows up and Buck's in the middle of laundry day.

His laundry day outfit consists of a small pink crop top and grey sweatpants.

Eddie loses his damn mind. Me too, though, me too.

the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies (Rated G)

“Didn’t know you were seeing someone.”

Buck just laughs. Like, honest to god giggles. Eddie is stuck fighting off doubly massive waves of butterflies and confusion, all while Buck just gazes down at him.

“That’s cute,” he hears Buck mumble, just before climbing into the truck, calling Eddie after him.

-or, everyone knows eddie is dating buck except for eddie, literally.

Something Old, Something New by dumbhuman (Rated E)

“Damn, I love weddings!” Buck’s face lit up as he closed the door.

If asked later, Eddie wouldn’t have been able to explain what came over him in that moment to make him ask the question. Or, at least, he wouldn’t have wanted to explain. The exhaustion was an easy excuse, but he knew deep down that it wasn’t a real one.

“Why don’t you come with me?”

one of the few things by thatnerdemryn (Rated G)

five times that Eddie tells someone else that Buck is Christopher's legal guardian plus one time he finally tells Buck.

I Didn't Know I Was Lonely 'Til I Saw Your Face by HMSLusitania (Rated T)

Total strangers Buck and Eddie go to couple's therapy together to get out of the therapy requirements their captains have placed on them.

things we shouldn't do by Ingu (Rated T)

“Why is everybody taking my relationship status so personally? Can’t I be fine with being single?” Buck said.

“Hey, you don’t have to say yes, be sad and alone if that’s what you want,” Josh replied. “But, I’m just saying. I’ve seen photos and this guy is volcanic levels of hot. Also, single dad, super cute kid. Saves lives for a living like you. I think you should give it a go.”

(the one where Buck and Eddie accidentally get set up on a blind date with each other, and everything snowballs from there)

Keeping It In The Family by Wolves_of_Innistrad (Rated T)

A young man shows up at the firehouse looking for Buck. Turns out Javier was a Bartender with Buck in Mexico. He’s back in LA, looking to reconnect and very flirty. Cue Eddie realizing Buck is not as straight as he thought.

kiss me (like your ex is in the room) by rebeccaofsbfarm (Rated E)

Eddie Diaz gets drunk and protective and signs up for a fake double date to get back at his friend's ex.

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania (Rated M)

An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is… missing presumed.

While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home

All my Buddie AO3 bookmarks

As I said this fandom has some very talented people, some of my favorite Authors's Tumblrs below, I recommend all the things they wrote and their blogs are very good.

@elvensorceress, @hmslusitania, @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels, @extasiswings

For gifs:

@arrenemris, @skylessnights (very lovely AU gifsets)

@from-nova(good gifs & content)

For Podfics: @mistmarauder everything she ever read is amazing, her podfics are high quality and she has a very lovely voice and her presence calms me down lol I recommend it

I'm sorry there are a lot more people but I'm kinda in a rush haha most of the people I follow are amazing, but the ones I mentioned here are enough to get you started or entertained for a while.

Buddie fics are amazing, this pairing has spoiled me so much, everyone I met because of it is nice and so active and talented.

Sorry mutuals if I forgot someone! 

I hope I helped Anon, have fun!

(Tell me if any link is wrong please, thanks)

[blockgamepirate]

Technoblade’s purpose in the political narrative of the Dream SMP

I can’t sleep so I decided to finally write the post I’ve been struggling with for literal months, except way more casual because I can’t be bothered anymore and also I’m sleep deprived.

So the thing is: to me the DSMP storyline has always been primarily political, probably because I was introduced to it through Wilbur who was definitely going for political, and also because I’m just generally interested in political narratives right now. Obviously I appreciate the character work and the personal relationship stuff, that’s what makes it more interesting than just dry allegory, but when it comes down to it, this story is about politics to me. So that’s the angle I’m going to approach it from.

Also not to spoil the conclusions here, but I’m an anarchist, that’s my lens.

(Obviously all of this is about rp from here on out unless otherwise specified)

Basically the situation as Techno joins the server is this: L'Manburg exists as an autonomous nation and is de facto independent although not officially recognised by the Dream SMP. The self-appointed president Wilbur Soot decides to hold an election and rig it in order to consolidate his power over the nation he founded and he gets his VP Tommyinnit to join in on the plan. Their scheme fails and they end up voted out instead. The new president, Schlatt, immediately establishes himself as an authoritarian figure and exiles Wilbur and Tommy.

A couple of points on what the election arc demonstrates:

1: the appearance of democracy can be used for distinctly undemocratic purposes.

2: even if the elections aren’t rigged, the electoral system could be massively flawed and end up favouring a party that in fact didn’t have the popular vote

3: even if the winning government (the coalition in this case) has the majority vote, that doesn’t guarantee that they’ll actually act according to the popular will.

4: the supporters of the losing parties basically just have to let the majority overrule their wishes, espcially since apparently L’Manburg doesn’t have an established role for an opposition, yikes. That’s actually a MAJOR oversight in the system but I’m not gonna go into that too much.

5: frankly as an anarchist I am just deeply cynical towards representative democracy, and just because you have a token appearance of choice and consent doesn’t mean that it isn’t a hierarchical and authoritarian system. And to be fair, from my point of view this applies even to so-called liberal democracies and progressive parties. Full disclosure: even if L'Manburg was the ideal example of a representative democracy (which it very much isn’t) I would still be opposed to it because I fundamentally do not believe in top down systems, even electoral ones.

6: despite all these flaws, all the characters seem to implicitly accept the electoral system as legitimate. There’s criticism against the actions of individual characters acting within the system, such as Quackity calling out Wilbur for trying to rig the election, but nobody is questioning the system itself.

So at this point I’m sitting there, watching all this go down, and thinking “man, this would be so much more bearable if there was an anarchist point of view being represented in the story.”

And hey, look who IMMEDIATELY SHOWS UP.

Okay, I’m not gonna lie, early installation Technoblade is not the best representation of anarchism. I was mostly rooting for him out of sheer contrarianism initially. I didn’t really even care if it would be another Killmonger/Magneto/Zaheer situation because I’m used to reading against the authorial intent when it comes to these things. Sometimes any representation is better than no representation, even with political ideologies. That’s not to say that him just straight up spouting this hobbesian notion of a “dog-eat-dog world” didn’t grate on me, obviously it did.

That kind of worldview of humanity needing authority in order to prevent chaos and conflict is literally antithetical to anarchism and is the favourite talking point of authoritarians, the least anarchist people there are. It’s literally what people use to argue AGAINST anarchism. I think it’s mostly because cc!Techno obviously wasn’t particularly educated on anarchist thought and was just basically having fun roleplaying with his friends at this point. Which is frustrating but fair enough I guess.

Cynical ideas about human nature are pretty deeply rooted in the mainstream, unfortunately, most people just consider it common sense. And like I said, it’s a huge talking point in the propaganda against anarchism.

(… even though in fact these arguments were originally used against proponents of representative democracy. Hobbes himself was very much a monarchist, the idea of letting normal people vote for their representatives would have been terrifying to him. Like surely the world would descent into a free-for-all war, all against all. Imagine letting commoners have OPINIONS, the horror.)

So yeah, that stuff was pretty ehhhhh. It was basically what I’d expected though: cc!Techno isn’t an anarchist and we just don’t get accurate representation from non-anarchists, ever. What I dared to hope was that Techno’s character would at least stay consistent about his opposition to ALL governments. I was pretty sure that he would, even though it seemed like the majority of the fandom at the time was convinced that he would switch over to Schlatt’s side or something. It would have been a really shitty twist, I would have ragequit immediately. I mean what would have been the entire point of his character then? He might as well have been a random mercenary. Why even have his character be an anarchist if you were just going to make him work for a government?

(ftr this is kinda my biggest problem with the Hypixel Skyblock revolution event lol, honestly I think that was a worse depiction of anarchism than early DSMP Technoblade. I mean the speech was good, but… still became a government official, tho. booooooooo, cringe)

And yes, I was rooting against L'Manburg, obviously, and I would have even if it had meant having to deal with another badly written anarchist villain character. I never understood why people saw L'Manburg as the good guys, they were nationalist and exclusionary and their whole existence was based on trying to scam people for money.

I mean they were definitely funny, they were great entertainers. I have no problems with people rooting for them because they’re fun to watch; I did that for a bit too. But people were starting to get really into the story and talk about Wilbur and Tommy, the corrupt politicians, and the country that literally excluded people based on nationality as the heroes, unironically, which was wild to me. And when Wilbur started his “villain arc” well: people called it a villain arc, as if he hadn’t been pretty much a bad guy from the beginning, constantly just out for money and power and taking advantage of the people around him and then pretending to be the victim when challenged. I mean yes he got worse, but I wouldn’t call it a villain arc, more like just a mental breakdown arc.

More importantly, to me L'Manburg represented so many things I hate about the status quo in real life, and seeing the fandom mostly unquestioningly accept it as good just pissed me off. Still pisses me off tbh. I mean, to be diplomatic I could say that I understand the emotional attachment and the way L'Manburg was built up mirrors a lot of how real nations are built and how they create a sense of patriotism out of symbols and a sense of honour and loyalty, and it’s actually really fascinating how it even works in a Minecraft roleplay. Says something about the human mind I guess. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though.

Anyway, I just wanted to see literally any kind of opposition to power, even if it had to come from a character that was unquestionably a villain, which I fully assumed Techno would be. Because political narratives so often just leave us out, or at best barely mention us. And even from a narrative point of view, adding an anarchist perspective to a political story just objectively broadens its scope and actually challenges people who are used to only arguing along the lines of conservative or liberal, welfare state or privatization, nationalism or multiculturalism, etc. Even if the original work dealt with it poorly, at least it would give me the excuse to rant about it on Tumblr, which is kinda why I revived my old Minecraft sideblog for this. (That and pig!Techno fanart.)

Also how can you have a story so fundamentally about power without its counterpoint: the rejection of power?

(Yes, Dream SMP as a whole is definitely a narrative about power, it’s a huge theme for Wilbur, Quackity, Dream, Eret and the Badlanders at least, as well as obviously the anarchist characters from the opposite direction.)

So yeah, the build up to November 16th for me was mainly about the anticipation for what Techno would do, how would Techno’s character respond to the seemingly inevitable formation of a new government. THAT was the point of interest for me, that was what I was the most invested in. Would we get an actual anarchist opposition as a new side to the conflict or would they just awkwardly drop that whole angle? Or even have him team up with Schlatt like a complete sellout? There was so much potential but I worried they might just waste it.

And I was right to worry since apparently in the original script Techno wasn’t supposed to do anything, he was just there to help fight Schlatt and witness the explosion along with everyone else.

And WOW that would have been so incredibly boring

Not even just from the political perspective, just talking about the narrative in general terms here: imagine November 16th without Techno’s plot points. Not only would it have been boring for Techno’s character but it would have been equally boring for basically everybody but Wilbur and Philza. An anticlimactic fight followed by a big explosion that pretty much everybody had seen coming already. Yes, the button room scene is dramatic and heartbreaking… for Wilbur and Phil. But nobody else was there to see it. For everybody else, it was just a big explosion. It would have been such a huge disservice to anyone watching the other POVs.

Techno’s intervention gave everyone an ACTUAL climactic fight, it allowed characters other than Wil and Phil to witness some actual drama happening and to participate in it, rather than just waiting around for the explosion, while also foreshadowing the explosion. Even better, it provoked SO MUCH discussion in the fandom AND gave a perfect hook for future conflicts to arise. Wilbur’s end was tragic but it was, at the time, final. L'Manburg would have still suffered a catastrophe but it would have been left with just the same exact antagonist as before: Dream.

And at this point Dream’s core goals had barely changed, just his approach was now different. Yes, that makes a difference for the plot, but it doesn’t really change much in terms of ideological conflict. Especially since there really isn’t that big of an ideological difference between Dream and Tommy, because arguably neither of them are particularly big on ideology in the first place, they just have conflicting goals and use different tactics to achieve those goals (well, the tactics aren’t always even that different *cough Spirit cough*).

Techno’s conflict with Tubbo and especially Quackity (and honestly most of the other characters in general) brings in so much more depth to the story, just by introducing another angle, not to even mention how much it brings to focus questions about power and violence. These are themes that exist in other characters’s storylines too but nowhere in the same way or as central as with Techno.

I’m getting kind of ahead of myself here, though.

The real twist of November 16th was the fact that Techno WASN’T a straight up villain, actually. It was a twist to me anyway, because with all my cynicism I just didn’t see it coming, I didn’t expect him to actually start making reasonable criticisms. I didn’t expect him to drop the hobbesian arguments entirely and start making points that actually sounded like anarchism.

I have to assume that cc!Techno must have seen some of the criticisms of his character and been inspired to adjust because the difference is pretty notable.

(Sidenote: I’m just forever kinda sad that Techno’s “I may seem like the villain here” monologue was cut from the video and most people never heard it.)

And I felt SO validated by the way, because it works so well in the story! Everyone is mostly content with the restoration of a status quo of some sort, Schlatt is gone, this is supposed to be the good ending, and then Techno calls them all out and turns the narrative around completely: This was just a coup d'état. This was just the previous political leadership retaking power by force. Why is everyone celebrating the same exact system that lead to Schlatt’s authoritarian rule in the first place?

What he does there is force the audience to question the narrative they’ve been presented so far, that they’ve accepted without a thought. It might not convince them, but they can’t just ignore it either.

Whatever you wanna say about the discourse around Techno on that day, in the ideological narrative THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART. Not who betrayed who or when is political violence justified, that’s about personal relationships and morality and it’s mostly all more relevant to the aftermath than the event itself. In my opinion, the REAL point in the moment is that the characters and the audience were comfortable with the ending only to be presented with a completely new perspective on the events.

It also recontextualises the finale, including Wilbur’s actions! It’s a much more ambiguous end to the Pogtopia vs Manburg arc and to Wilbur’s original run as the head writer. Wilbur’s “even with Tubbo in charge I don’t think [that ‘special place’] can exist again” is vague enough to be dismissed as just part of his paranoia and internal conflict, but with Techno, there’s a concrete question: what if Tubbo, given the same powers as Schlatt, will turn out to be just a new Schlatt? And suddenly you have to wonder what Wilbur meant by his words too. And was all this foreshadowing something about L’Manburg’s future?

Okay I’ve only made it to November 16th and there’s so much more DSMP to talk about but the post is getting too long and I’m starting to lose my energy. Will I ever make a part two? No idea. But I’ll try.

Standard disclaimer: I’m not the spokesperson of anarchism, other anarchists might disagree with my reading

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 5

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Pairing: Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader (Gender neutral) Rating: T for language and mentions/references to an (emotionally) abusive relationship. Mild, brief violence. Warnings: TW for referenced emotional abuse, mild TW for possible physical abuse (sorry, angry Dani is not 100% gentle with people she doesn't love-love) Notes: Music for this chapter here. If you're following this story and really want to continue reading, but worry about the TWs for this chapter, just send me an anonymous message and I'll write up an alternative version of this post. It's not something I would do without it being requested, but it's also not a big deal so don't feel like you're bothering me if you want that. Previous Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2: Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Tocatta

Chapter 5: Poco a Poco (Italian: Little by little)

Finding a schedule for lessons to follow proved to be an insurmountable task. Consistency was something that Daniela struggled with greatly, even when it came to things that she genuinely cared about. Things like ensuring you lived long enough to entertain her. Instead of working with you to find a balance that worked for both of you, the youngest Dimitrescu daughter seemed intent on doing things in her own time. Little by little. Which would have been fine, if the two of you weren’t restricted by time.

Fate wasn’t entirely unkind, however. There were still a few things that Daniella recalled from her “youth”, bits and pieces of musical theory, the bare basics of reading sheet music. Not having to teach her proper posture or the structure of a piano would save you a little bit of time. On top of that, you had been informed that, somewhere in the castle, there were a few books of sheet music you could borrow. Assuming you were eventually able to find them, that is. So far they had eluded you, but you hadn’t even had much time to search, as you were still expected to perform your usual Maiden-related tasks.

In the end, it was Daniela herself that proved to be the biggest obstacle in your way.

“Look,” Daniela said one day, barely ten minutes into a lesson, “I think we should take a break… maybe have some fun?” One of her hands is resting on top of yours, the other tucking your hair behind your ear. There’s a smirk on her lips, unsurprisingly, and she’s mere inches away from kissing you. If not for the heavy threat hanging over your head, you would have already thrown yourself into her arms. Instead, all you can do is sigh, turning away from her as you do. “Don’t be like that, sweet thing. C’mon, no one can hear us right now. Might as well enjoy ourselves.”

“Babe. Darling. Buttercup, honey, cute little button on a bear, you are not the brightest bulb in the lighting department,” you replied, holding the bridge of your nose between two fingers. Instantly Daniela is upset, giving you a (thankfully) playful smack on the arm. Before she can protest more you continue speaking. “Your family would not hear us making out, true, but they would definitely hear us not playing the piano. I’m pretty sure your mother already thinks I’m doomed to fail as a teacher, and the last thing I need is to give her a reason to drop the curtains this early into our performance.”

“First of all, I am not an idiot,” Daniela said, a bit of a growl to her voice. “Secondly, what harm can a few minutes really do? Don’t you think I’ve been working hard enough to earn a little reward?” Now she’s holding a finger under your chin, lifting it up, making sure you’re looking right at her. There’s no dissuading her, it seems, as she leans in for a soft kiss. This was one of the more frustrating aspects of dealing with (courting?) her; communication felt like a one-man play, except the audience was as likely to throw knives as rotten tomatoes. Whenever Daniela acted like this, pushing away your concerns in favor of her pleasure, it felt helpless to try and resist her.

So you kissed back, wrapped your arms around her, and hoped that she’d be more open to compromise afterwards. At least kissing her was nice. Even though it had only been a week since you first kissed her, she was already getting better, evidently learning through experience. The passion behind her movements had grown as well, leaving you a tad breathless. Regardless of her odd perception of romance, and her insistence that she knew best, you found yourself charmed by her. It was scary. Terrifying, really, how you felt yourself falling under her spell. Wait. Hadn’t you been in this sort of situation before?... Staying with someone who wasn’t good for you? Why were you kissing her? Why were you starting to tremble, tears in your eyes, mind falling down a slippery slope of memories?

By the time you snap out of it, you’re sitting on the floor, Daniela awkwardly kneeling by your side. What the fuck? You think, sniffling a little. Head spinning, mind reeling, you struggle to form coherent thoughts. Next to you Daniela is unsure of how to help. But she’s trying, sort of, one hand holding your own, the other gently rubbing your back. She’s saying something, the words going right over your head. Understanding her takes times, focus, like tuning an instrument until the pitch is just right.

“I don’t understand, we were only kissing, what happened? Can you even hear me? Is this your way of tricking me into not making out with you? Because that’s a total dick move and-” she rambles, only stopping when you give her hand a soft squeeze. Then she’s meeting your gaze, looking uncomfortable, shoulders tense. “You’ve been weird for a while. Distant. Like you don’t want to touch me anymore. Don’t you still love me?”

There’s real, honest pain in her eyes when she speaks. If the timing had been different… you’d have thrown your arms around her and covered her face in kisses, promising to hold her onto she felt better, promising that yes you cared. You cared so fucking much. But she’s making you exhausted; every second has to be focused on her, not you. Every moment of concern is flipped around until she’s the victim, or at least the one that needs comforting. You didn’t think that she even realized what she was doing. Well, you hoped that she didn’t, wanted to believe that if she understood she’d change.

“Remember the first day we kissed?... how you pulled me close, and I kissed you harder, and we started…. Remember how I made a move and you pushed me away? I’ll never forget the look on your face. I felt like shit afterwards. I should have asked before I tried anything,” you explain, letting go of Daniela’s hand so you could pull your knees to your chest. Somehow you can’t bring yourself to maintain eye contact with her- not right now, not when you could still remember what it felt like to be on her side of this story. “I don’t want to push your boundaries, or make you feel pressured to do something you don’t want to do. The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you like that.”

“Oh bullshit,” Daniela snarled, shocking you, before getting to her feet. Confusion doesn’t begin to describe how you feel in the moment as you watch her pace back and forth. Both her hands are clenched into fists, and she’s refusing to look at you. There’s a buzzing sound in the room, faint but growing louder, like she’s a split second away from entering swarm mode. “We’re a couple, aren’t we? Shouldn’t you be able to tell what I want? Shouldn’t it be obvious what I desire, when I’m pinning you to the wall and shoving my tongue down your throat? What more do you require?”

“Holy shit, Dani, I know communication isn’t your forte, but have you really not even considered talking to me? That’s simple, easy, literally the first thing that should come to mind!” You snapped, too in disbelief to keep your voice down. For a moment Daniela stops her pacing, turning to stare at you with narrowed eyes. If you weren’t so mad, you’d be convinced she was ready to kill you. But she doesn’t move to grab her sickle, or otherwise advance on you, instead groaning and tugging on her own hair in frustration.

“Because that’s not romantic, genius!” She replied. Some dots start to connect in your mind, but you lack the full context, as if looking at sheet music with no clefs or time signature. It’s not until Daniela continues that you really understand; and, by extension, realize just how ridiculous this whole mess is. “None of the books I’ve read involve conversations like this. People just… they just love each other! And figure it out as they go along, reading each other’s body language and facial expressions, inferring what they need to know through touches and reactions. Why can’t we do that?”

“This isn’t a fucking book, dumbass! I don’t have powers like you, I can’t just read your mind and figure out what you want. That’s not how relationships work! Communication is key. And you can’t just talk, you have to listen, hard, and understand,” you continued, still on the floor, heart pounding so furiously you thought it might leap from your chest at any moment. As angry as you are, you wonder if you’re being too loud, too angry, wonder if there was a better way to get through to Daniela. Before you can think of a solution the air is ripped from your lungs. Your “partner”/student is grabbing you by the front of your shirt, yanking you to your feet. Instinct makes you struggle against her, as useless as it is.

“I. Told. You. I’m not an idiot!” Her free hand comes up to your face, cupping your cheek for a moment, then pulling away just as fast. When it moves back up she’s gripping onto her sickle. The sharp edge ends up resting against your neck, the slightest movement threatening to cut you open. This is the most Daniela has ever openly threatened you, and in that moment all your anger melts back into fear, tears spilling down your cheeks. A flicker of something shows in her eyes, making you think that even she doesn’t like where this is going. “Give me one reason not to end this right now.”

“... I don’t… I can’t think. I… Why would you?” The words leave you in a rush, even with the pauses, and each syllable makes the sickle press into your skin a little more. There’s sure to be a cut there, though you can’t even begin to estimate how bad it is. The blade is sharp, clearly, and it hardly even hurts as it slices you. Thankfully the sensation doesn’t last long. Once you’re done speaking, Daniela’s grip loosens considerably, hand slowly letting your shirt go. Her other hand takes a few seconds to move, but eventually pulls away without any fuss. For a few seconds she just watches you, eyes filled to the brim with a rich sorrow, mouth open but unmoving.

“No lesson tomorrow. I need a break,” Daniela whispers, barely audible. Then she’s dusting herself off, no longer looking at you, and heading towards the exit. Just like the first time you met, she pauses in the doorway. “How’s that for communication, hmm?” When she laughs, it’s empty, forced. Part of you wants to stop her and ask if she’s okay.

Instead, you watch her leave, unspoken words tangling with your tongue until you almost can’t swallow.

Then your feet move, automatically, leading you to the piano. You sit down without thinking. You touch the keys without thinking. When you play, you play without thinking. It’s just a song, the world tells you, and you have no choice but to play. It’s not just a song, you know this, but you can’t think. Can’t argue against the personification of your isolation, or the embodiment of your trauma. All you can do is let yourself get lost in the music, softly, recalling lyrics from a forgotten time.

I’ve been running all my life, trying to find a place to hide ‘Thought that I had settled down, but I guess things are changing now Don’t make me go, don’t make me go Just don’t make me go, this feels like home

As soon as the last note fades out you stand, wordlessly, and leave. Your feet carry you down corridor after corridor, past maidens working, some of whom gasp when they see you. But you don’t stop, not even when you cross paths with Lady Bela, who eyes you with surprising concern. She doesn’t try to stop you, though, and you doubt you would have cared if she had tried. It’s not until you are within your shared room that you finally stop moving. It is there that you sit, shaking, finally pressing a cloth to your neck. Blood stains the fabric, first in just a few dots, then spreading out. There’s not enough to make you fear for your life, but there is enough to make you cry harder. Washing the wound will sting… so you don’t do that. Soon you will have to return to your work, and the thought puts pressure on your skull, summoning an all-too-familiar migraine.

When you close your eyes, you don’t mean to fall asleep, but that is exactly what you do. And when you dream, you do not wish for nightmares. You never do- and fate never denies you their company.

[onbeinganangel]

What do you love about short stories?

Hi lovely anon,

Sorry if it’s taken me a wee while to get to your question, it’s been a busy time over here but I LOVE this question and wanted to give you a proper answer.

What do I love about short stories?

As a reader, opening tumblr, the @drarrymicrofic blog or ao3 looking for short fics, is like opening a box of Celebrations or Quality Street or whatever your preferred chocolate selection is: I’ve got tons of different flavours of fic to pick from. This means I can just have the one as a sweet treat (maybe before bed, maybe on the go, maybe while I'm taking a break from work), or I can sit on the sofa with a cup of tea and demolish the whole box, trying a ton of different flavours in one sitting.

To stick to the metaphor, this doesn’t mean I don’t like a good slice of chocolate cake. I love longfic. However, longfic requires the emotional bandwidth to get attached to a story for a little longer, the time to read it and appreciate all the nuances, all the details I’ll have to remember further on into the story.

This doesn’t mean longfics are better (or worse) than shortfics — shortfics are often incredibly well-written pieces (there is a very specific skill to packing a lot of plot and/or feelings into a short piece, but we’ll get to that when I get to the writing part of this question) and some have stayed with me for just as long as some longfics.

I’m often left thinking “how did this writer make me feel all these things in such a short word count?” I think, especially in the Drarry fandom, longfic is (used to be?) the norm — which is great! We are so lucky to be part of a fandom that has numerous fests happening all at the same time and such a great variety of works being written, topics being explored through a Drarry POV and wordcounts. There really is something for everyone. Not everyone likes short fics, and that’s absolutely fine, there are long fics being posted every single day. But short fics (yes, even the 50 word microfics and 100 word drabbles) are complete stories in their own right.

When I don’t have the emotional disposition and the time to dive into a longer fic, short stories are there for me. I don’t have to feel FOMO, I am still participating in fandom actively by reading, commenting, chatting about fic and supporting other writers and I can do it with the little time and availability that I have.

As a writer, short stories are harder to write, in a way. Writing short fic and specifically microfics has really helped me explore tropes and topics I wouldn’t have the time and availability to write as a longfic and I believe it has made me a much better writer. Practising with short form has given me the opportunity to play with different POVs, different narrative voices, different genres that I definitely wouldn’t otherwise feel comfortable writing.

There is an expectation of a longer fic, which requires much more work and time. You have to plan your timeline, there’s the worry of consistency, of engaging the reader for a much longer period of time, of balancing out tension, suspense, revelation and a whole neverending amount of feelings. Shorter fic sometimes lets me get an idea out of my head so that it stops bugging me. I often have ideas that could, of course, fit into a bigger fic — but why should they? If all I want to write is a short scene to let go of some happiness or some lust or some grief, why should I have to turn that into a bigger story? Often when I already have at least four or five longer fics I’m working on when I have the time, on top of that?

Short fics give me the freedom to do my writing organically, to write what I want when I want to, post it and let it go, and move on to other projects, while challenging me to become a better writer and to play around with form.

TL;DR: I’m here for fic of all lengths. Sometimes I want a nibble, sometimes I want a full meal, sometimes I want a tapas dinner where I get to taste lots of different things in one go, or sometimes I want a long, drawn-out multi course dinner with different accompanying wines.

Thank you for this lovely question, anon! It really made me think about my fic writing and reading experience, especially at a time I’m not feeling particularly present/connected in fandom because real life is really demanding. I hope you have a lovely day, and I’m sorry I wrote you a whole bloody essay.

[tloujm]

Part XXVI: Giving Grief

Author’s Notes: This is the first chapter I’ve posted in months (literally since April). I don’t know if this is a full comeback. I have a few chapters in the drafts that need to be edited and formatted for posting but after that, I still plan on continuing the series bc my plan was always have a long fic. With no new content after part II of the game was released, my interest in the fandom waned but was always there. Now with HBO creating a show based off the game, as well as me being apart of the Pedro Pascal fandom, I think I will soon become more consistent in posting as new content gets released. I will say that at least half of what appeals to me for Joel is Troy Baker’s voice and while I love Pedro’s voice too, I know it won’t be the same. I still think Pedro will do the voice justice bc he can do a damn fine country accent as seen in the movie Prospect on Netflix. If you’re a fan of his and have Netflix, please go watch it!

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Summary: You and Joel reconcile and bond over Ellie and Sarah. 

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Joel waited for you to come home. He paced back and forth in the kitchen switching from holding the card and setting it down on the counter. He was eager to talk to you about this new revelation partly because he was nervous to have the other conversation with you. After a while of calming his nerves down, you still hadn’t come home. The sun had set an hour ago and Joel was ready to throw on his boots and go looking for you. 

Just as he laced them up, the front door opened. You walked in and immediately stopped because his body blocked you from walking in the house further. 

“Going somewhere?” You asked as you slid past him. He was a grown man and could do what he wanted, but the thought of him leaving to go do other things before the issue between you was resolved upset you. 

He reached back down to unlace his boots. “Not anymore. I was ‘bout to head out and find you.”

“Why?” You asked dryly.

“I’d been waiting on you to come home for a couple of hours. We gotta talk.”

“You’re right, we do. I was helping Wendy walk the kids home from the daycare; that’s what held me up. I’m here now, though.” You leaned against the back of the couch and crossed your arms. The stance you took reminded you of what Joel would do.

He walked into the kitchen and came back. “Kiddo made this for us.”

You took it in your hands. “When did she have time to make this?” He shrugged. Your fingers brushed across the drawing of the hat before finally opening it. “Oh my God.” She looked at you for a split second before looking back down at her signature. “Her name has been ‘Ellie’ the whole time.”

“I know.” He commented. 

“She never said anything. All of us have asked her.”

“Technically, she still hasn’t spoken her name, but I guess she wasn’t ready for that.”

“She wasn’t ready to let anybody in.” You said. He nodded in agreement.

“Until now.” He walked up to you and pointed to her name on the card. “She’s doing so good, this Ellie. I can only try to imagine the horrors that she’s seen out in the world before she came to Jackson, but whatever happened out there, it led her to us. I’m...It’s just nice to see her opening up to this place.”

You understood what he was trying to say. “Yeah, I’m proud of her too.” You walked past him and into the kitchen to hang the card on the refrigerator. Joel followed. This time, his arms were crossed.

“(Y/N), I meant it when I said I was sorry back there. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“If you didn’t mean it, you wouldn’t have said it.” You rebutted.

“I was upset with you because I expected you to react the same as me when Ellie climbed up that T-Rex, but I don’t want a carbon copy of myself. I love you and want to have a family with you because you are wise beyond your years, confident even if you don’t always think so, responsible even for things that aren’t your responsibility and most importantly, you’re level headedness. Where I have a tendency to lose my cool in certain situations, you are guided by this calm...patient sense of will that I envy.” He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, giving you the opportunity to say something. Seeing that you were still soaking in his words, he continued. “You’ll be a great mother. I saw it in the gentle way you juggled all those kids at the daycare. I saw it in the way you took care of Ellie the first day she came here. You’ll see though, if it’s meant for us to have a baby, how difficult it is to stop worrying. It didn’t stop when Sarah....even when I tried to push those feelings away. It doesn’t stop. I know she’s not her, but it’s hard for me to just stand by and watch her do something that could hurt her.”

“I wasn’t standing by, or at least that wasn’t my intention. I wanted to give her space. She’s so delicate, or maybe that’s my problem. I shouldn’t treat her like she’s some glass figurine. I just wanted her to grow comfortable with us by trusting her. Believe me, it wasn’t easy for me to do when there was nothing personally for me to go off of, but then I thought, she’s lived out there for God knows how long by herself. She’s not only seen things but has been able to survive things. It’s hard to see how clever someone is when they won’t let you in, but I knew she had to be to have made it this far. I get it though. I’ve never been a parent. I can only sympathize with your worries. I can not empathize with you until I’ve been where you have. I’m sorry too. I could have found a way to give her space without allowing her to be in such a dangerous spot. You must be disappointed in me.”

He moved up to you and placed his hands on your shoulder. “I’m not. Look at me. I’m not disappointed in you. She was both of our responsibilities earlier.” He brought you into a tight hug. “You’re right, she is smart. She felt comfortable enough to show a side of herself that no one else has seen. You know why? ‘Cause she felt safe around us. Despite the grief she put me through, it was nice to see her so happy.”

“I know it was, wasn’t it? I can’t believe she jumped though! I didn’t think she’d go that far.”

“At the end of the day, kids will be kids. It’s not an excuse to slack off on raising ‘em, but there's just a certain wild and carefree nature that every kid has. It’s instilled in their DNA or somethin’ and then it fades away as they get older, about the time their back starts to ache.” Joel chuckled as he explained. He kissed the top of your head before pulling away to get a good look at you. He made a face as if to ask if you were ok. You nodded. He took your hand and pulled you into the living room. You sat down next to him. “She reminds me of Sarah sometimes. Ellie’s about the same age as her. She ran me through the ringer, raising that one.” He chuckled at the memories. “I wouldn’t trade it in for the world, being her dad, but you shoulda seen the amount of grief she put me through. Especially being a single parent.” He wiped his hand across his face, letting it linger along the length of his neck. “One time, she snuck off to some skate park when I told her no. She was in this skateboarding phase. I bought her a customized skateboard for her birthday and she would practice using it up and down the driveway. She had barely learned that little flippy trick when she asked me to take her to the skate park. I told her no because it looked like it was for experienced skaters. I wanted her to practice more first. To say the least, she was mad at me. She told me she was staying after school for the science club, but she really went to the skate park with some friends. By the time I figured out where she was, I found her lying in the grass, holding her arm in pain. Turned out she had a hairline fracture in her...radius?” He pointed to the bone on his arm. You nodded that it was in fact called radius. “I grounded her for lying to me, but sometimes I wonder if I should have taken her to the park. I mean I’m no expert on skateboarding, but at least I could have been there to supervise; make sure she wasn’t on one of those tough looking ramps.”

“Did you ever take her skateboarding after she healed up?”

“After the cast came off, she switched interests to soccer. I installed a shelf on one of her walls to hang the skateboard on. Better that than being stuffed under her bed. Soccer was her life though. She made new friends from the team, won titles, learned tricks with the ball. Me and Tommy were regulars at her games. I was...am proud of her.”

You smiled as you envisioned his memories. “Did she give you grief with that as well?”

He nodded in an exaggerated way. “Oh yeah, but I’m sure I used to give her grief too.” You lifted your eyebrows with desire for him to elaborate. “I may or may not have argued with the coach and ref on a few occasions regarding plays.”

“You never dated any of the soccer moms?” You teased.

He scoffed. “Most of them were married and the ones who weren’t, I sent Tommy’s way instead. He wasn’t mad at it.” The two of you chuckled. “I did flirt with a few, married or not, so I could get my hands on some of their homemade baked goods.”

“I was under the assumption that soccer moms made food for everyone.”

“They did, but I still wanted a few more cupcakes for the ride home.” He admitted as you laughed. “Listen, I had a busy life. I didn’t have much time to hone my baking skills, so it was nice to be able to have homemade cakes and cookies for a change.

“Well, if you wanted cookies, that’s all you had to say! I can show you how to bake right now.”

“It’s late.” He reasoned.

“It’s never too late to feed your sweet tooth.” You rebutted as you pulled him back into the kitchen.

[twiceasfrustrating]

Absolutely Nothing

I said I wouldn't post my new fic until after SWBQ is done, but I want to begin posting it before S4 drops. It won't update consistently atm, but it's there... I will only be posting the first two chapters to Tumblr. Everything else is going on AO3 because Tumblr is not longfic friendly.

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Category: Gen

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!

Characters: Main Character, Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Luke, Solomon, Michael, Raphael, Uriel, Original Angel Character(s)

Additional Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, War, Trauma, Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Canon is like a vampire, it can't enter this house unless I let it, Emotional Baggage, Lies, Manipulation, Ships not intended but I'm not stopping you

Summary: War is not unknown to the three realms, but that does not make them any less a tragedy of strategy. Though relations between the three have never been favorable, they have never truly gone to battle with each other. At least, not until now. The heavens have been planning for a long time and have finally decided to execute their machinations. Now it is time to see how every piece will play out this bloody battle.

A/N: These tags are for the overarching fic, not the first two chapters. Only Lucifer, Simeon, Micheal, and Gabriel show up in the first two chapters.

Chapter 1: I Will Not Go With You

“We’re heading for a war,” Lucifer warned, “and I want you to come with me.”

Simeon solemnly blinked a few times before closing his eyes. The weight of the choices laid before him pricked at the edges of his mind. He’d known this was coming. He’d known for a long time that this question would eventually be asked of him and for just as long he’d known what his answer would be, “I must decline.”

“Why?” Lucifer spat out, “Simeon, you have to know what’s about to happen. If we don’t fight then Lilith-”

“I am not stopping you from this rebellion.” He opened his eyes and looked to the pages stacked neatly in the corner of his desk, carefully flipping through the avalanche of writings he’d collected over the years. Somewhere, buried deep in the pile, he vaguely recalled his moment; where his brother would ask him to do the impossible. He’d hidden it away from prying eyes, afraid that others would find it and interpret it as he had. Though, even if they had read it and understood what the contents were, it was nigh impossible to change the events that were foretold.

He pulled the page from the pile, taking care so the others above it would not collapse onto the delicately inlaid wood of his desk, and perused the contents held within. The paper was so old that it had begun to grow fragile to the touch and discolor at the edges. Simeon desperately wished that time had chosen not to show its touch on this particular relic he would rather have forgotten about. It was frightening how long he’d known about this day and he would rather pretend he was shocked when Lucifer had come to him. Sometimes, having a glimpse into what would eventually be was a cruel reality.

That brother, who would come in need of his fellow, will find no quarter. So shall he return with hands left empty, but convictions emboldened by the forge of his stature. He shall take with him those who share his resolve and lead them to where metal sings and cries. Blood shall be shed but on one side, though the cost of the blood spilled shall

It was an old, short paragraph he wished he could forget. Though he could never truly put it out of his mind, because he knew it was left unfinished and his mind and pen longed to see the end of the story. However, his heart and will would prefer not to know every detail of this particular future. For so long, he’d clung to that final shall and hoped that not knowing the entirety of the story would somehow keep it from unfolding. However, his pen only put the stories to page. He was not responsible for the events that inspired him to write.

“You will have to make do with those who are already on your side. No one else will turn their back on Father for your cause.” It was the only warning he could give. In those words he hid the message that Lucifer should tell no one else. If war was approaching, then it was better he have the element of surprise.

Lucifer could only stare at him in disbelief, “Is that your answer?”

“It always was.” He placed the paper face down atop the pile, “I cannot aid you in this, Lucifer.”

“Then you would fight against me? You would condemn Lilith in the same way as our Father?” His voice shook, the rage building inside of him clearly beginning to boil over even as he tried to contain it.

“I will not betray my family.” Simeon’s face remained unchanged as he pushed his chair away from the desk and rose to his feet. Despite the malicious aura that began to circle around his fellow Seraphim, he approached with an unguarded stance until they were only an arm’s reach away from one another. No matter how upset Lucifer may become, Simeon would not fear him. Though, he did fear *for* him, “You and she are still of my kind and that means I will not meet you on the battlefield.”

Lucifer’s eyes widened at the declaration. This time, it was his turn to fear for the other, “You can’t stay out of this. You know they won’t allow you.” If he did try to remain on the sidelines, Simeon would still be seen as a traitor. Not in the same vein as him and his siblings, but a traitor nonetheless, “I won’t ask you to fight if you really refuse to lift your blade, but you can’t stay here.”

“As much as you and Lilith are my family, so are Micheal, Raphael, Uriel, and Gabriel. I cannot leave them.”

“Simeon…”

Simeon’s lips pulled back into a smile and he let out the shortest of laughs, “You worry far too much, Lucy. You are aware that I am still a Seraphim, are you not? Even if I do not step onto the battlefield, I do not believe I am in nearly as much danger as you are putting yourself in.” He wanted to reach out and touch his brother one last time as the fear of the unknown overtook him, but he kept his hand within his own space. He did not know what would happen at the end of all of this, but he knew it would not be the same and reaching out to hold onto what they had would only pain them both.

Lucifer looked over the other angel’s shoulder, toward the pile of papers where Simeon had placed one face down. Countless writings that revealed the future to their author and Lucifer did not envy that gift. Others often wished to know what would be, but he had seen far too many times the burden placed on Simeon for having such a skill; the amount of times he had been made to see both grace and tragedy was carved on his face, just behind that smile. That is why, despite knowing that whatever was on that page was related to this very discussion and his ultimate goal, he would not pry. It was not as if knowing the future allowed it to be changed anyway.

“We’ll still be on opposing sides, you know?” No matter how much Simeon proclaimed not to betray his family, that was an unavoidable truth.

He nodded, “I am aware.”

“And you refuse to go against your family?”

This time his confirmation was wordless.

Lucifer took in a deep breath, “Then once the battle begins, I believe we can hardly be considered family anymore.”

Large blue eyes shot up to look at his pale face. It seemed that Lucifer had said something Simeon hadn’t expected, “What?”

“You will not betray your family, but you know they will not allow you to remain neutral in this. As soon as the drums of war beat, it is fine to stop thinking of me as your brother.”

There was a long moment of silence before Simeon could reply, “You cannot ask me that.”

“I am not asking. I am stating a truth,” one that would hopefully allow Simeon a way to follow his morals and gain some leniency if he continued to insist on this path, “I refuse to be your brother from that moment on.”

“Please... you cannot ask that of me.”

“I am not asking anything of you. I am simply stating where we will stand.” And now he needed to leave before the hurt welling in Simeon’s eyes tugged at his heart anymore and shattered his resolve.

He dipped his head in a polite bow, “Thank you for your time, Simeon. I do hope we may speak like this again.” He turned on his heels, refusing to truly look at the other angel again. His only goal was the door, where he opened it wide and stepped through the threshold.

“Lucifer! Wait!”

It took far more will than Lucifer would ever care to admit as he shut the door behind him without saying another word, and even more to walk away.

-----------------------

Chapter 2: Traitor

“How long have you known?” Micheal nearly growled as he stared down Simeon where he kneeled. His pale blue eyes ran wild with rage and it was clear he was just barely holding himself together. That was to be expected after everything he had just been through. Lucifer was unapologetically his favorite brother so it was unimaginable the distress he was in right now as he came to terms with having lost a member of his family. They had been like two halves of a whole, and now they were fractured.

“How long have I known what?” Simeon asked, feigning ignorance.

“That Lucifer would lead a rebellion against Father!” Micheal’s voice raised so loud that the room literally shook around him.

“Calm yourself, Micheal,” a melodious voice shushed him and lithe hands rested on his shoulders to hold him steady, “We’ve lost enough of our siblings today. There is no reason to lose yourself and risk losing another.”

“You would call him our brother after that disgraceful scene, Gabriel?” The disgust in his voice was clear and overwhelming, “He knew this would happen and refused to warn us or lift a finger. Everything we lost today is because of him.” Simeon had to know about today. He was blessed with the gift of prophecy and spent his time writing what was to come. If he had simply shared whatever he knew about today, Micheal knows they could have prevented the rebellion. He knows that he could have convinced Lucifer to stay somehow. Instead, he was left to face his own brother on the battlefield. He could still recall the cold eyes Lucifer had looked at him with as if they barely knew one another. That sight would never leave the darkest parts of his mind.

“You are blinded by your pain, Micheal.” She removed her hand from his shoulders and moved to stand over Simeon, “He is clearly as much our brother as ever. If he were against us he would have joined Lucifer, but Father has deemed that he is still worthy of his halo. Is that not enough for you?”

Micheal chuckled darkly before answering, “Uriel nearly lost an arm and he’s one of the lucky ones.” Even with so few numbers on their side, the rebellion had a gifted Dominion that made the most of their small force.

“And everyone harmed will heal, but we gain nothing in dividing ourselves further, and our brother has already been punished for his transgressions.” She took a knee before Simeon, reaching out her hand and running her fingers through his silken hair, “Will you not put our brother’s worries at ease, Simeon?”

Simeon knew the threat in those words. As kind as Gabriel pretended to be, she was someone he feared far more than Micheal. Not because she was stronger, but because she knew exactly how to most hurt those who upset her. As such, he had no interest in declining her wish, even if what she was asking for was for him to show his shame.

He took a deep breath before unfurling his wings behind him. They shimmered golden in the neverending light of the Celestial Realm, a blessing bestowed upon him by their Father that reflected his very essence. Every angel had such a blessing; different colors, shapes, a range of sizes, and lays of their feathers all differed from angel to angel all dependent on their Father’s grace. That included how high in their Father’s favor they were, and it was obvious at a glance just how out of favor Simeon had fallen. His six beautiful wings, the blessing afforded to all Seraphim, had been reduced to a simple two.

Gabriel’s eyes filled with pity for him but Micheal’s face twisted in glee and disdain, “Is that all? You betray us and all Father does is reduce your rank.” The laugh that left his throat was so dry that it sounded like it hurt, “You must really be beloved to get off with such a light sentence.” If it was up to Micheal himself, Simeon would face the same punishment as Lilith.

“Still your anger, Micheal. As you can see, Father has spoken.” She raised to her feet once more, her nails pulling painfully at Simeon’s hair as she stepped away from him, “Simeon is still of our kind and as one of our subordinates it is our duty to shepherd him.”

A wicked smile crossed Micheal’s face as he continued to look down on Simeon and his now unsightly form that marked his betrayal, “You may be correct, Gabriel. It is only right that we guide lost sheep, especially those of our own flock.”

[lqtraintracks]

On Commenting

Heya! Okay, so I’m not sharing this in order to shame the commenter, not at all. (I have been this person in the past, and I’m not proud of it. Being a dick in fandom and then learning how not to be a dick is sometimes a part of the process.) I don’t want to share their name or even which fic they’d read, etc., because this is not about shame or retribution (and if you’re one of the people who might want to go shout at this person on my behalf--and you know who you are, and I love you, but please don’t), I really don’t want that, okay? But I do want to share the comment and my response to it, because a) I’ve seen an uptick in entitled comments on other writers’ work lately, comments that freely critique the work right there where the authors can see it, and b) I think it’s important to do something really, really simple in this community that we’ve made together, to do and have this one consistent thing in a fandom space that keeps changing and shifting all the time. And that thing is... Be nice. So to that end, here is the comment I woke up to this morning: “This is so unrealistic though, Harry is in fact stronger than Draco magically and he is a much better Seeker, and you took away his entire personality just so that he can simp over a death eater who made fun of his dead mother, stepped on his face and let Death Eaters into Hogwarts. I love drarry but not like this”

And here is my response: Hi there. You're certainly allowed your opinion and feelings on this and any other piece of writing. That's cool. We could argue all day over the little details of it—what is ‘realistic’ when the entirety of canon is witches and wizards? what is ‘realistic’ in fanfic? is the goal of fanfic to stay indelibly true to canon or to subvert it? is there any such thing as ‘realistic’ in storytelling in the first place? We could go on and on. We could argue over whether your own opinion on realism is indeed what’s ‘real’ or if you, too, are biased toward certain aspects of canon and away from others. I mean, JKR hated Draco; Drarry itself, canonically speaking, is super unrealistic in the first place.

But ultimately, those things aren’t important. The fact that you read [thousands of words] of this story and still hated it and commented on that fact isn’t all that important, though I find it interesting that you were (apparently) compelled enough to read it while also disliking it quite a lot. 

Here’s what I think the take away is though (and this has very little to do with me personally): This is not a nice way to comment on someone’s story. Which, when I write it out like that, seems so super obvious. You seem really upset by my choices in this story, so maybe whether or not you were being nice versus mean just wasn’t in the forefront of your mind. You were upset, you commented in the heat of the moment, the end. And in that regard, I’m sorry my story was upsetting to you. I do get that… when a story doesn’t go your way or the way you’d hoped or expected. I’ve had that very feeling while reading. But do you know what I did with it? I realized those were my feelings that I am responsible for, not a fanfic author; I back-buttoned out and went and fumed privately or to a close friend; and then I didn’t read that author again (or did so warily).

The thing is—and I’m just going to be honest here, numerically speaking; I’m not trying to have a big ego—I get a lot of comments. A lot of nice ones. Particularly on this story, which I don’t think is my best by far, but for some reason people love it, and I’m appreciative of that. So I don’t need you or everyone to like it, and I don’t expect that. This comment wasn’t decimating to me. But… if you comment this way on someone else? Someone new to this, someone who doesn’t get a lot of comments, someone nervous to post their work, you could decimate someone. Do you want to do that? Do you want to be mean to fanfic writers who are doing this for free for you? Whose only ‘payment’ is the comment they get from you? Is that who you want to be, the role you want to play in fandom?

And I’m just here asking you: Please don’t. I can take it. Other writers shouldn’t have to. To put it really simply, it’s just not nice. And it’s not constructive. Some people couch their desire to be mean or to be righteous as ‘constructive criticism’, and believe me, I’m not a fan of that approach either. But this is clearly not even that. You’re upset, and you wanted me to know that. Okay. Like I said, I can take it. I’ve been around awhile. But I do not want you to think this is something that’s okay to do to someone, anyone, including me, even though I can take it.

Do you know what I was going through when I wrote this story? Hell, my friend. I was in hell, and I was trying to write myself out of it. Do you know how long this story took me to write? A year. A freaking year. And I’m really proud of it, though I now find some parts cringey and weak. That’s just a part of growing as a writer. I’m glad it’s a bit cringey. It means I’m better now. But I wrote this in my own personal hell, and I worked on it for a year, and I’m proud of this story and what I accomplished while writing it. It’s okay that you don’t like it. But it took you, what, two minutes? Five? To dress it down? Please, I’m asking you nicely at this point, don’t do this to other writers. It’s not nice. 

Don’t like? Don’t read. Get 20k in and find something awful? I feel for you. It’s happened to all of us. Use the back button, complain to your best friends, and let it go. You’re not obligated to be nice to authors in your comments, but I’m telling you, if you want more free fic, you should consider it. Because people won’t stick around if this is what they get for all their hard work, you know? Consider niceness. That’s all I ask.

And I do genuinely hope you find a fic that’s more to your liking soon. Finding that fit between a fic writer’s vision and your own is magic. Just, when that doesn’t happen, it’s good to learn how to move on without blaming the writer, you know?

Peace. (Seriously, I do mean that. I would shake your hand if we weren’t in a global pandemic.) <3

[bigskydreaming]

Sorry to bother you, but RE: the Jason Todd in Arkham thing, like, what was Dick supposed to do? Take him home to the same house where two of the KIDS that Jason had threatened/attacked were supposed to be living in what one hoped would be relative safety?

Like, full offence, Jason had at that point proven himself a danger to all the people around him. If he wound up at Arkham, oh well, maybe don’t kill a whole bunch of ppl and harm numerous others. If Arkham doesn’t work as a hospital, maybe he should have been at another one, but at that point in his character arc, a secure mental health facility was probably the best he could expect.

It’s like ppl forget he’s a multiple murderer with a history of targeting the ppl Dick loves. I don’t even read the comics and I know this much.

Oh for sure, I mean, I've posted meta about this before because the fandom accepted narrative gets it sooooooo wrong. Like, I'll always be right at the front of the line yelling IT WAS JASON'S CHARACTERIZATION THAT WAS CRAP THROUGH ALL THAT, THAT'S NOT JASON, GIMME NUANCE OR GIMME DEATH. Y'know, something like that.

But like, given that Jason was written as repeatedly trying to kill Dick's other two brothers its like, yeah?! What was Dick supposed to do? He'd tried asking Jason nicely hey could you stop doing that and Jason was like LOL no.

And also....people are like - Dick callously threw Jason into Arkham right next to the Joker and then just left him there and forgot about him and....SOURCE?

1) Dick didn't DO this to Jason, JASON went after Dick and Damian and in the process of fighting him in a very public space, Dick beat Jason and police were already like....right there? Dick didn't actually have the option of being uh no, you can't take this known and notorious criminal into custody, I'll stop you on the basis of - well I can't tell you actually but plz just trust me okay, he totes didn't mean it! (except like also, at that point he totes did, so.....)

2) What pull Dick DID have as Batman with the GCPD, he used to get Jason put into Arkham INSTEAD of Blackgate for his SAFETY. We know this to be true. Jason himself confirmed that absolutely nothing bad happened to him in Arkham, he just didn't want to be there but WHO THE HELL EVER WANTS TO BE IN A PRISON OF ANY SORT? And the first thing Dick said when Bruce said Jason had demanded to be transferred to Blackgate is that Jason wouldn't be safe there with all the enemies he had gunning for him. It was abundantly clear that Jason's safety had been a primary concern for Dick the whole time (and Jason wasn't safe at Blackgate, its just fine, he only wanted to be transferred in order to enact an escape plan that got like 80 people indiscriminately killed but whatevs. Its Gotham, what's a few dozen more dead criminals am I right? *rolls eyes at how often that little detail gets left out of the narrative).

3) Dick consistently put time, focus and Wayne Enterprises money into Arkham Asylum while he was Batman, since Arkham was being rebuilt from the ground up after it was blown up in Battle for the Cowl. Also, Dick had been one of the last 'patients' in the old Arkham, given that he went undercover to infiltrate the Black Glove while they were in control of Arkham and spent a week in there drugged to the gills, locked up and in a straitjacket before being almost lobotomized. He has every grievance with Arkham that fan writers like to PRETEND Jason has from his stay there, but Jason's only complaint was that he again, was bored, and he had to take psych evals every other week because it was after all, still a mental health institution. Dick did everything in his power at the time to make sure that even if Jason did have to be locked up to keep him from going after more people, like, it was going to be as humane as possible and the stuff that Dick himself had JUST experienced in the old Arkham WOULDN'T happen to Jason.

4) The Joker was literally nowhere near Arkham THE ENTIRE TIME. This is not a small detail, given that 'the Joker was just five cells down' is the entire basis of most writers' Jason-in-Arkham angst and the anti-Dick sentiments they tend to create. All the major Rogues escaped from the old Arkham in Battle for the Cowl BEFORE it blew up. That's why they're not DEAD. Dick's run as Batman was primarily about fighting the escapees. And Joker, very significantly, was clearly among those Rogues not present in Arkham during Dick's Batman run, given he was literally toying with Dick and Damian through most of it. Seriously, how much do people have to hate Dick and think the worst of him to think that he - the dude who btw, BEAT THE JOKER TO DEATH WITH HIS BARE HANDS FOR MAKING JOKES ABOUT KILLING JASON - would just....obliviously lock Jason up right next to the Joker and throw away the key?

Like...and it goes on and on, lol. I remember the first time I brought all this up in an argument with some Jason stans, they literally started laughing back and forth to each other in the replies about how someone was a bit too carried away with their own fanon, and its like...LMAO! Yes! Someone is! Its YOU! You are the people you guys are talking about, looooool, I can literally back all this up with sourced panels.

Buuuuuuut, c'est la vie.

I mean, this is nothing new for us, its literally Teen Wolf fandom alllll over again. Probably why I just said nope, not doing this again awhile back and was like umm actually I will NOT just be ignoring the blatant false narratives thrown around here just so that people happy with the fanon narratives that prioritize the characters they like and sling shit at the characters they don't can have their fandom just the way they want it at the expense of everyone else in it. You wanna push bad faith interpretations of specific characters at every literal opportunity, its like, that's cool! I got the drive! I can push back with actual facts, its all good!

But the most hilarious thing to me will always be how fucking INDIGNANT people get about that, like "How dare you point out the precedent we established in not caring about any fandom experience other than our own and thus being loud and everpresent with our preferred interpretations in an attempt to drown out any other possible interpretation just so that the most people possible would be influenced by us instead of anything else, and we'd get more of the content we like at the expense of any possible nuance whatsoever."

Like, the most common complaint I get is people griping about how damn often I'm saying "mmmm, no, this isn't what happened actually" and "okay but have you considered flipping the script BACK from the way you flipped it initially in order to get this weird ass interpretation of a superhero noted for his emphasis on emotional caretaking of his loved ones actually being this callous oblivious selfish jerk who tramples all over the feelings of everyone around them and makes them just the woobiest woobies that ever did woobie all throughout Woobieland?"

And I'm just like, okay see, I hear you, its just the thing is, the THING IS......

If you didn't want that to be the topic of conversation so damn often, then hey, just a suggesh, but maybe you shouldn't have devoted literal years to coming up with the most bad faith interpretations of this character possible at literally every available opportunity. Maybe there'd be like.....less reason for the topic to come up so often, if like....you by your own actions hadn't made it a necessary topic to tackle so often?

I DON'T KNOW, I'M JUST SPIT-BALLING HERE, DON'T MIND ME AND MY CRAZY-ASS IDEAS OF FAIR PLAY.

[tourmalinatedquartz]

Introduction To My Blog And Me

Hello! I don’t know if anyone is actually interested in the person behind the blog but I thought I’d do a little introduction.

My blog:

This was intended to be a dumping ground for random thoughts and posts that didn’t fit a theme but one day I jumped into the deep end of Redacted ASMR and had to share some things with people who get it

I never imagined I’d become any sort of creator so um…wow, hi!

I don’t have any sort of writing schedule. Ideas just come when they come and happen in whatever form I can get the thoughts out in. So consistency is not something to expect although I will try to stay active with original posts.

So far I don’t have any angst or nsfw content but it might come in the future. I will do my best to appropriately tag my content but if I miss something don’t hesitate to reach out. I want people to be able to enjoy my stuff and feel safe doing it so I’ll do what I can to make that happen.

I’ll try to keep most, if not all, my listener/reader works gender neutral but either way I’ll always put it at the top of the piece. If you notice any mistakes I’d appreciate for you to let me know.

Tagging system

All redacted posts will have #redacted asmr #redactedverse

Posts containing a certain character/listener will have #redacted character #redacted listener

Any possible triggers will be tagged #tw trigger

Any nsfw/adult content will state so at the top and the content will be under the cut and tagged with #nsft and #minors dni if you are a minor (-18) it might be a good idea to block or filter these tags as an extra barrier.

Any fic works will be tagged #redacted fanfic (other creator’s works are normally reblogged on a different page, @guacamoleontoast and follow the same tagging rules although eventually it might contain works from other fandoms too)

Headcanons will be tagged #redacted headcannons

Blog updates will be tagged #blog updates and will cover all the boring upkeep stuff like if I make changes to this post or my rules

Anything not redacted related will be tagged #not redacted #not fandom

Interactions with my blog

Welcome! I aim to be inclusive and accepting of all people. If I say something that is hurtful to any community please let me know what it was and if you feel willing to tell me why I’d love to know. If not I will educate myself further to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

I would love to receive messages, asks, and submissions. If you send anything with media in it (pictures, gifs, etc) please keep it SFW unless I’ve explicitly stated it’s okay to do so in private messages.

I don’t mind if minors (under 18) follow my blog as long as any future posts that contains NSFW content (which I will tag, note at the top, and include under a keep reading line) are skipped over. If I notice minors interacting with adult content I will have no choice but to block them. This is part of my effort to make my blog as safe for all as possible.

DNI

- No homophobia

- No terf/swerf

- No Racism

Interactions between/with my followers: all I ask is that everyone be respectful and kind to each other.

About Me:

So if you’ve made it this far, thank you!

I’m Cole, I use She/They pronouns

I consider myself omnisexual and cassflux

I’m a Scorpio sun, Virgo moon, cancer rising

I’m INFJ-T (I think it’s T…whatever isn’t the A)

I have what seems to be a laundry list of mental health and physical health issues so yea…I’ll try not to let that effect my frequency of posts but if it does all I ask is for a bit of patience and understanding and then we’ll back to our not so regularly scheduled stuff

I’m actually very shy and awkward so I’m not likely to reach out to others first but if someone says hi to me I get really excited and will spend 10 minutes minimum planning out my response which will be bland and hard to reply to (sorry)

I’m a very spiritual but non religious person

I’m certified in energy medicine, meditation, mindfulness, and stress management. As well as CERT and early childhood education (although that one might have expired by now) I was just a few points off from passing the exam in culinary 1.

I love music and sewing and gardening and journaling and daydreaming and gaming 😄

I’m trying to take time to reconnect with myself on all levels. No more ignoring everything in hopes it will disappear or fix itself.

I don’t know if anyone will read this or care at all but if you read the whole thing, bless your sweet soul.

Thank you for being here, and welcome to my blog!

*Last updated 8/21/2022*