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scurvgirl · 1 year ago

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The VMA fashion this year was so bad I have to talk about it. Under the cut for length. If you liked the fashion this year, feel free to move on. Also, this is about the FASHION and NOT the people. And these are just my personal thoughts - I am very much just someone who casually enjoys fashion but damn. I have THOUGHTS right now.

Nicki Minaj in Dolce & Gabbana.

This isn't 100% hideous because waist up, it's beautiful - the viel and the bustier are lovely. Waist down is a different story. The panty is so boring and then the V to mid-thigh seam is just...SO BAD. SO SO BAD! It looks like a cheap, grandma curtain. There are four different lace patterns here and they're not blending well at all. The color is nice on Nicki's skin but I cannot look away from those seems, they are so so bad.

Taylor Swift in Versace

Girl I am so sorry they did this to your boobs. They look lopsided and just...bad. Otherwise, this is a really boring black dress. the buttons are...there I GUESS. But the rushing looks so frumpy around her right hip and it's just...bad.

Cardi B in Dilara Findikoglu

This would be 100% better with 66% less skirt. As it is, it looks EXTREMELY uncomfortable and the balance of this kind of material to skin is off for me.

Doja Cat in Oscar de la Renta

This isn't fucking fashion. I don't care if it's Oscar de la Renta, this looks like she walked through one of those bagged spiderweb things you get for your bushes on Halloween. Just because your tits are out and you're wearing nude shoes and a thong and your head is shaved doesn't mean that everything you put on your body is fashion. This isn't against Doja Cat, this is just...not fashion. There is nothing inspiring about this.

Megan Thee Stallion in Brandon Blackwood

We've seen this. It's not bad, Megan looks great. But it's boring.

NSYNC

Isn't the point of coming out of the closet to embrace your true gay self and to make sure your fellow boy bandmates don't dress poorly? I mean, this is just...sad.

Charlie D'Amelio in Shushu/Ton

I actually don't mind the dress, but the hair with it is just...and the pose...something feels sinister here. Janelle Monae could have rocked tf out of this but instead we get this.

Sofia Carson in Alexandre Vauthier

Alright sequined Cookie Monster, come through. I see you. The color is great, I like the play on small to big sequins, but the design of the bottom half is bizarre to me. They look like dragonborn legs meets harem pants.

Bebe Rexha

Girl, why'd you hot glue a horse tail to your ass?

Karol G in Ashi Studio

I actually like the dress and coat (contrast to Doja's, there is structure and interest to this beyond just using Karol's body). I'm just putting this here because it is clearly so heavily inspired by Kylie Sonique Love. The doors she has opened.

Quincy Combs

The depressive state of men's fashion in one photo. Just...ugh.

Nicky Hilton wearing something a middle aged mom in Dillards would see and go "Kaylee!! This is so cute!"

Jennifer Aydin

Wearing something you pick up on the Jersey Shore for a shotgun wedding.

JT in Mirroir Palais

Someone help my fellow big tittied girl, if she takes a breath, those puppies are breaking loose. Dear designers - please fit thine cups properly. Girl is slightly hunching too to keep it together. Yeesh. (Love those shoes though)

Kaliii

What is with this trend of cutting at the mid-thigh? It's terrible! It's disjointed, confusing, and not in a good way. I am all for fashion that is just WEIRD, I'm here for it. But this isn't that, this is seriously trying to be pretty and it's just not. Also, girl, there is a better shade of orange out there for you, get something with a dash more red so it doesn't wash you out.

Not all the fashion was this bad. So here are some notable wins in my book.

Prince Derek Doll - understood the fucking assignment. This is stunning!! I WISH they had dropped the designer's name because they deserve recognition.

The Warning. I don't know who you are but I am gay and no immune to latex vampire dress vibes and chunky heels. You look great and I'm gay, so gay.

Maneskin because fuck gender, I'm gay, and YEEEEEEES.

Shensea. This gives me huge Him vibes from the Power Puff Girls and I am HERE for it. I love everything here, there's camp with the tiny bag and the glasses, sexiness, and just overall FUN. It's great.

Chris Olsen. I think men need to dress like this more often. If we're gonna see lady tits, I also wanna see man tits.

Coco Jones in Moschino. I love the early 2000s R&B vibes, the sleekness, the overall vibe - just great.

All photos are from E!online

#scurvysays #scurv talks fashion

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count-demonlord-of-decadence · 2 years ago

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The Return of Demon Lord pt 1

Our protagonist was trying to enter a Fufu Mart that was besieged by 4 protesters. Based on the chants, he assumed they were protesting the overturning of Roe vs Wade, but the signs didn't match the chants. They were easy enough to avoid, and proceeded to purchase his items: Anardana, turmeric, sesame seed oil, canned anchovies, Rwandan tea and a guava. It’s when he exits the protesters begin to harass him. Apparently the CEO of the parent company that owns the brand of the chain store donates campaign contributions to politicians who oppose their political beliefs. And by shopping there, our protagonist was a hurtful, patriarchal, misogynist who doesn’t believe in basic human rights. They jostled him until he fell down, kicking his eco-friendly hemp reusable grocery bag into the street. Our protagonist stared at his reflection in his now broken glasses as it shushed him. His reflection assessed the situation: The tallest of the four was Kyle Lin, a Chinese American man with long, luxurious straight black hair down to his waist. dressed in a purple suit with a dark blue shirt. Currently he’s a substitute teacher. He claimed to be 31, but in truth he was 44 years old. He’d been the most physically aggressive of the four. He dropped a sign that read ‘White privilege IS the problem!’ to kick the bag into the street. Caesar-Claudio Schives weighed the least of the four despite being the second tallest. Combining all of his social media accounts, the 26 year old failed actor had a grand total of 14,411 followers. Unemployed, he was here to look hip, woke & cool; and dressed like it. His sign read 'fur is murder'. Philippa Hall, the child of an independently wealthy hedge fund manager, clearly weighed the most of the four. Her hair, nails and makeup cost at least a thousand dollars, each. Her shoes and blouse were Gucci, the leggings Vera Wang. All her accessories were Dolce and Gabbana, but her sign read, 'Down with capitalism'. Lastly, Cecelia Nasir, a 19 year old gender studies major, was dressed in a homemade beige hijab and earth tone wrap dress. The beige blouse was from a thrift store, her sandals cheap, simple and plain. Her handmade sign was a multicolored fist. She seemed shocked at the scene.

The reflection looked back to our protagonist and said, “You can relax now; I’ll take it from here.” After a deep nod our protagonist helped Demon Lord to his feet. Cyle Lin was explaining to Caesar-Claudio how, “...the bag accidently ended up in the street after we all tried to stop each other from falling. It’s not our fault sometimes things like that just happen. Karma is cruel but fair.”

“Karma?” Demon Lord scoffed as he approached, “Chinaman,” Demon Lord paused to let the slur sink in, “I will teach you the nature of karma. She is my bitch!” The sound of Demon Lord’s hand striking Kyle’s left cheek scattered the birds. Caesar-Claudio dropped his sign to start filming with his phone. Kyle nearly masked the pain while saying, “Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”

Demon Lord snickered, “Giving does not only preceed receiving; it is the reason for it. It is in giving that we receive.” The back hand strike draws blood from the corner of Cyle’s mouth and just under his right nostril. He looks at Caesar-Claudio and asks, “You got that?”

“Oh I got it alright.”

Kyle throws a pair of fast jabs that Demon Lord evades with excellent head movement, before locking Kyle in a standing arm triangle. Not martial artists, the three observing aren’t sure of the situation until it’s obvious Kyle is unconscious. Then they begin to demand Demon Lord let him go. The right look made them phrase their demands as pleas. When pleas were ignored, Phillipa rushed in, only to collide with the unconscious Kyle. An ax kick to the shoulder blade deterred further offense. “Know your place sissy!” Demon Lord hissed. To which was Phillipa's muffled reply, “Now you’re gonna misgender me?”

The light reflecting off Demon Lord’s eyes looked like napalm burning Laotian villages as he pulled Phillipa up by the wig, struck them in the abdomen, keeping hold of the wig to prevent them from doubling over, and smashed their face into the sidewalk. He was about to finish them with a stomp to the head when Cecelia Nasir mustered all her courage to say, “Hey that’s enough. We called the police! Why don’t you just get out of here before you go to prison.”

“You think if I feared the police I’d do this?” While tearing the Gucci off them. Cecelia begged him to stop when he started on the leggings to which he replied, “You wish to take their place? Strip. Right here right now in front of everyone. STRIP! I give you my word that if you simply do it, you and…this one will not be harmed, further.”

First off came the dress, revealing cheap, generic pink panties and legs that hadn’t been shaved in months. The whole time Cecelia kept looking over her shoulder to Caesar-Claudio who just kept filming. She had very slowly started to remove her hijab when police cars arrived. Officer S. Givens was a 2.2 meter tall black man, with a mustache to be admired by all men. He detained Demon Lord. Officer Z. Tuiasosopo was 30 cm shorter than Ofc. Givens, but weighed just as much and bench pressed 50 Kg more. Caesar-Claudio rushed him with, “Everything you need to see right here.” Ofc. M. Liangmai was a rubenesque Hindi woman who looked after the wounded. Sgt. B. Van Dyke stayed behind to cover the others, radioing in updates. 200 seconds later an ambulance arrives for Kyle. By the time they take Kyle to the nearest hospital, their statements are taken. Demon Lord is arrested. The four officers huddle for 236 seconds before approaching the three remaining protesters. They’re asked to ride in the remaining vehicle to the station so their statements can be taken, and evidence gathered.

As soon as they entered the building the three protesters were manhandled by six nondescript white male officers. They are forced into the processing area where they are searched, their items are taken, then stripped and given a full body cavity search. Phillipa tried to protest once, but the officers responded by jamming them face first into the floor yelling multiple offensive slurs getting kicked in the ribs. Once the search was complete, the three were handcuffed and gagged then taken to a holding cell.

Eight minutes later, Sgt. Van Dyke entered followed by Demon Lord, no longer handcuffed. Sgt. Van Dyke pulled her baton and wacked each of the protesters on the left nipple, before saying,

“Well, we thank you for bringing us back our leader, it’s not quite the same when he’s not around. The bad news is. You’re not the kind of people we tend to keep around. Do you know who we are? We are the Cabal, the international ring of Satan worshiping pedophiles that secretly run the one world government! And you have earned the ire of its one true leader. Our sire Demon Lord.”

“And he is most displeased.” Demon Lord said.

Caesar-Claudio laughed out loud, "The Cabal!? That right wing mgtow neck beard pizza gate bullshit? Is this a fucking joke?"

Despite the sound it made, Van Dyke's baton strike didn't damage any of Caesar-Claudio's teeth.

"I don't recall giving you permission to speak." She hissed. The second strike was to his inner thigh. He wailed because she missed his genitals by 2.4 millimeters. “I don’t recall giving you permission to shut up! Now, sit there and shut up. And what punishment awaits these terrorists my Lord?”

“This one intrigues me. He doesn't believe our organization to be real. Let us show them the truth of the world!” Talking into his smartphone, “I’m going to need three, no four disciplinarians, a stylish outfit and travel for 12. I’m taking my latest acquisitions with me to the Summer Solstice Bacchanalia."

It takes 12 minutes for a nondescript bus to stop in front of the police station, the driver is a charming Hispanic woman in her 50s. Four of the officers secure the three captives to their seats before Demon Lord boards and sits next to the driver. He chats with her the entire drive, while the four officers make lewd, lecherous and degrading comments. After 23.5 minutes they stopped in front of a Belmond Hotel. Demon Lord exited first and spoke to the concierge before waving them off the bus. The bus driver wished them good luck on their play as she ignored their pleas while they were being roughly escorted out. Ignored by the other patrons, the party was escorted to the private elevator which they rode to the penthouse suite. On the way, one of the nondescript white cops, told this joke, “What do you call a man who is crying while pleasuring himself? A tear-jerker.” They laughed like middle schoolers hearing it for the first time.

Inside the lavish penthouse, they’re intimately greeted by Mosch. No age, no gender, no labels; just Mosch. The sparkling green pants suit, bronze tan, flamboyant gesticulations and platinum blonde 1980’s rock god hair gave away nothing.

“Welcome Demon Lord! I am so delighted to be your tailor. I’ve always wanted to take your measurements.” emphasizing measurements

“Indeed.” Lord replied, “And where are the disciplinarians I requested?”

“In the other bedroom putting the finishing touches on their hair and make-up.” Mosch dismissed, “I’m told another young man will be joining us?” Mosch overly interested

“Yes, Sgt. Van Dyke made certain he was easy to track and transport. I correctly assumed he was over exaggerating his injuries to garner sympathy and possibly facilitate his escape; but I knew the extent of his injuries. He should’ve fled.”

The door opened and two more nondescript white male officers roughly escorted Kyle Lin who wore only a straight jacket,

“I’ll bring in the ladies.” Mosch said after ogling Cyle’s genitals. Mosch returned, standing taller than the four girls but shorter than the four women.

“This is Mistress Rouz. She was in the area with a client and available” Rouz is 30 years old, 1.77 meters tall and weighs 73 kg. She was born, raised and usually resides in Port Louis, Mauritius. She speaks with a heavy Mauritian Creole accent as she exchanges pleasantries with Mosch and Lord. She wears a black and green sari with far too many accessories to be considered tasteful. She is accompanied by Zelmire, a 14 year old Austrian girl with charming features and curly hair. She is dressed as a bunny girl.

“You’ve met Mistress Dokkaebi before.”

“Yes I have, lovely to see you again.” Lord offered a chaste wave after bowing to her..

Dokkaebi is 33 years old, 1.7 meters tall and weighs 60 kg. She’s from Sejong South Korea, her hair is dyed turquoise and she is dressed for her occupation. She is meekly followed by Fanny, a heavy set 14 year old Ecuadorian. She too has curly hair and is dressed as a bunny girl.

“Next is, my apologies for my earlier faux pas, Ms. Desolation.”

“I like her already.” Demon Lord snickered.

Riding 13 year old Colombe, Ms. Desolation is aged 36 years, stands at a height of 1.83 m and weighs 123 kg. She is from the Falkland Islands and dressed like a Manic Pixie Dream Girl at a rave. Her short hair is dyed navy blue, her metallic pink sundress has a navy blue tyrannosaurus rex on the front, with black military grade boots over black and white striped knee high socks, with a Hello Kitty backpack. Colombe, is from Sri Lanka and dressed as a cat girl. She has very short straight hair and wonderful muscles.

“Last is Mistress Success. I’m told she’s renowned in French Canada.”

She offered a silent nod which Mr. Lord returned. Mistress Success is 1.7 m tall and weighs 84 kg and dressed for her profession in rose colored leather. She was born and raised in The Oneida Nation of the Thames. For reasons she refuses to discuss, her hair is a rainbow colored afro. Her attache is Rosette, a 13 year old Tunisian girl dressed as a maid. She also has curly hair and seems over enthused to be here.

“Excellent. Each of you is to pick a victim and do what you do best, while accompanying me to the Summer Solstice Bacchanalia.”

“In that case,” Mistress Success walked towards the victims and grabbed Philippa Hall by the jaw, “I want this one.”

This prompted Ms. Desolation to claim Kyle Lin by the genitals and force him into the fetal position. Mistress Dokkaebi looked at Mistress Rouz who shrugged it off. Mistress Dokkaebi then seemed thrilled to claim Cecelia Nasir by her long straight dark brown hair, and pinned her to the floor by standing on her hair. Mistress Rouz snapped her fingers and pointed at the floor, said “Sit.” and Caesar-Claudio Schives assumed the correct position. Another snap of her fingers followed by the command, “Lie down.” and again Caesar-Claudio Schives assumed the correct position. She stepped on the back of his neck in triumph.

“Excellent,” Demon Lord beamed, “Ladies for the moment they are your dogs and you are to treat them accordingly. I expect them to be house broken by the end of my fitting.” He then led Mosch to the master bedroom who locked the door behind them. The four dominatrixes let out a massive exhale. Kyle Lin then said, “Okay, that’s enough! Joke’s over! We have more than enough to go to the FBI and press! Together we can…”

“CUT THE SHIT!” Mistress Rouz interjected, “Do you four doggies understand what's about to happen? If you fail to perform as expected he’s gonna kill us, and then kill you. But, if he wanted your sorry, broke asses dead, you’d already be hamburgers being served at the next YMCA BBQ! If you have any family, any loved ones you wish to see, I suggest you learn to be a dog in about the next nine minutes! You decide, I’ll wait.”

“I won’t.” Ms, Desolation said, “I’m gonna go get the biggest dildo I brought, strap it on and fuck start this one into dog mode.”

“I dunno,” Mistress Success lamented, “mine might like an ass raping, and I’m probaly sure they’ve taken a worse beating than I can dish out. I might have to get extreme. Rosette, bring me some condoms, hot sauce and duct tape!” Philippa Hall fell into hysterics while promising to comply. Fanny was twirling and sucking Cecelia Nasir’s hair the whole time before Mistress Dokkaebi dismissed her and said, “Don’t worry pretty one, he’s definitely gonna want to have his wicked way with you before he kills you. In fact I’m sure he’d rather sell you into slavery than kill you, but who knows. Who can understand the mind of such a man? But if that happens, maybe I can buy you! Wouldn’t that be great? We can have such wonderful times together. Or, you could be an obedient dog and get out of this alive. The choice is yours but just know I’ve always wanted to rape a dead girl too.” All the while covering her hair with a dark burgundy silk scarf, deliberately not touching any part of her trembling body, save her hair. Cecelia Nasir looked at her with tear filled eyes and nodded, before getting on all fours.

Kyle had fiercely resisted as best a man can whilst in a straitjacket. Between Ms, Desolation and Colombe, he is prostrated in exactly one minute. It was only when he was face to face with the dildo she had strapped on that he began to comply. Mulatto in color, realistic in texture and design, it measured 35 cm in length and 6.51 cm in diameter. He promised his obedience, she made him perform fellatio as proof of his loyalty. Colombe helped him go deep on it.

The four were then muzzled, collared & leashed, fitted with dog ears, and a dog tail butt plug was inserted and secured in place. Mosch emerged from the master bedroom four minutes later followed by Demon Lord. Demon lord was cosplaying as Prince Hans of the Southern Isles. He immediately summoned Zelmire, Rosette, Colombe and Fanny into the master bedroom. Mosch followed with a finger to their lips and left the doors open, leaving no doubt to the debauchery engaged in. Though Mosch only watched, up close and personal, like a participant inhibited by a force field.

During Demon Lord’s orgy, the four were taught tricks, failure was met with strikes with a cat o' nine tails, to the soles of his feet. This prompted strict obedience from Philippa Hall and Kyle Lin, as Cecelia Nasir, who fell under the allure of Mistress Dokkaebi, needed no physical discipline. The orgy finished, The dominatrixes lead the party, followed by Mosch and Demon Lord and the four girls last. They were then told that the dogs and them would have to take the stairs. Each dog received a forty strike spanking from their dominatrix before leading them down the stairs.

When they arrive outside they find a generic tour bus waiting for them. The driver looks just like Chuck Taylor from Chappelle’s Show behind vintage Porsche Carrera 5620 Sunglasses. He was too entertained by the old school funk he was blasting on Bose Noise Canceling 700 headphones to concern himself with the humans on leashes. It was a 47 minute drive to their private airfield where the four “dogs” were fed, bathed, “walked”, caged and loaded as dogs aboard a rented Boeing 737. Any thoughts of resistance were stifled by the omnipresent cis white male police officers.

#fiction #bad fiction

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repgodcn · 3 years ago

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i-cant-sing · 3 years ago

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GIRLLL THAT OUTFIT SOUNDS SO COMFY!!

Talking about clothing, what are your favourite brands? Which is your favourite outfit?

IT WAS (besides me sucking in my tummy, everything else was great)

My fav brands that I can afford (but they don't sell/ship in my area):

Old Navy (bro whoever tf is making their shoes, imma kiss you. They make the comfiest shoes ever, and I have to walk like 4000-6000 steps daily, so I need that comfort. And they're so cheap omggg)

American Eagle

Hollister

Tommy Hilfeger

Mango

Aldo

Nike ( I want those custom Air Force 1's, yknow the coloured ones 😍)

GAP (great cardigans)

Primark (probably the only place that makes warm cardigans/sweaters without costing me a kidney)

H&M (they're okay)

ZARA (also, kinda okay)

My fav brands that I wish I could afford:

Fendi

Versace (the collab with Fendi was so good)

Chanel (oh you know I want those classic, vintage blazers and sweaters)

Tom Ford (I will never get over the Met Gala piece he did for Gemma Chan)

Dolce & Gabbana (their Alta Moda show from 2019, that had the whole Greek inspo going on- damn I imagined myself taking some yandere greek gods to the show with me so that they'll buy me that stuff)

Louis Vuitton (they make good bags)

Gucci (also good bags)

Celine (so cute)

Also now someone recommend me some good places to shop for warm cardigans and coats (for my mom, she gets very cold. Her expensive cashmeres don't help her much) and some places for mom jeans for me (I want a good fit).

Also I want chelasea boots, and a biker jacket (the leather one), so drop your recommendations.

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fancyschmancyopinions · 3 years ago

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MEGAN THEE STALLION at the 63rd Grammy Awards on March 14th 2021 wearing DOLCE & GABBANA dress and CHOPARD jewelry

I think this is a great look. I absolutely love the dress. I think it’s a great color for Megan. I also think it’s a color that really stands out. Megan is one of the biggest people in the music industry right now, so she should be standing out at the Grammy’s.

I’m also a fan of her hair, makeup, and accessories. I have been loving the little side pieces that a lot of hairstyles have been embracing (sorry for that terrible description). I think the bun is super glamorous and sophisticated while the messiness allows it to not be super uptight (again messiness is not the right word but I’m hoping you catch the vibe). I think her jewelry is beautiful and simple and looks great. It doesn’t take away from the dress and isn’t too heavy. I love when jewelry is just super delicate looking.

There is one thing I’m not a fan of. Those shoes! They remind me of tacky shoes from prom. I like that they match the color of the dress but to me the jewels just make the shoes look cheap. I wish they were all orange or had a few jewels as opposed to being covered in them.

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amphtaminedreams · 4 years ago

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Sitting Front Row at...(On a Budget Obvs): Lookbook no.15

Hey to anyone reading!

And welcome to my fave lookbook I’ve done in a longggg ass time! Yes, that’s partially because it involved making collages and doing the low effort work of scouring Vogue Runway for “research purposes”, but I promise, that statement wasn’t made out of COMPLETE laziness-I am super happy with it too. It’s been a good use of pre-part-lockdown-lift time in the interim between that brief period of Christmas celebrations and eateries finally fucking opening again because let’s be honest, I always knew I was gonna get distracted by oat milk vanilla lattes and veggie all day breakfasts once I could actually sit down with them at my fave local cafe. You could say I was very much operating on a self-imposed deadline.

The “what I would wear to sit front row at...[insert designer here]” TikTok/Instagram reel trend was something I wanted to get on board with ever since I first saw one and whilst the option of doing my own live action take-I really cannot bear the thought of having to edit footage of myself awkwardly attempting to sit nonchalantly in front of a camera for hours on end-was off the cards considering my complete lack of screen presence, I decided a Tumblr text post would work just as well, and if not even better in a way. Given the absence of the time limitations you face when you’re making a reel or a TikTok I thought it’d be cool to present the looks as part of a mini moodboard for each designer which adds a bit of context to each look even if you aren’t familiar with their past collections and establishes the general vibe of the brand I’m attempting to replicate. Not to sound snotty or as if I am the font of all knowledge on anything high fashion related but even with my amateur knowledge I noticed that as the video trend took off and was adopted by big name influencers, it became less about the average person putting their own personal spin on the aesthetic of the labels we can’t ordinarily afford and more about them building outfits that only vaguely resemble the general public perception of the brand around the real corresponding (and often gifted and thus inaccessible to someone who doesn’t makes thousands for a sponsored post) pieces they own SO I thought I’d take the trend back to its roots and get a bit resourceful. All that being said, in no particular order, here are the outfits I would wear to sit front row at Gucci, Vera Wang, Miu-Miu, Marc Jacobs, Dolce & Gabbana, Brock Collection, Alexander McQueen, Etro, Burberry aaaand Saint Laurent based on their past collections and guess what? They didn’t cost a shit tonne of money :-)

-disclaimer: will include an asterisk before any new purchases if from a high street store though to be honest, I don’t think there are any, we shall see! I do include where I got old purchases from in case anyone wants to search anything on Depop/Ebay-

1. Saint Laurent (formerly Yves Saint Laurent)

-blazer from identityparty on Depop, pleather trousers from Zara, jewellery from Dolls Kill-

I know technically abbreviating Saint Laurent to YSL doesn’t really make much sense anymore given the brand’s name change in 2012, but I’ll always think of it as that in the same way I’ll always associate it with the slightly dishevelled yet simultaneously glitzy rock n’ roll aesthetic. The thing is, whilst YSL hasn’t done anything wildly out of the box for a long time, it’s rare they put a look on the runway that I wouldn’t wear; they never end up being a fashion week standout but the Parisienne take on grunge we’ve seen Anthony Vaccarello establish as his go-to will always have a place in my heart.

2. Alexander McQueen

-embroidered leather jacket from Ebay (originally Topshop), harness from Amazon, dress from ASOS, boots from Koi Vegan Footwear-

Alexander McQueen is a brand that is pretty much universally liked, from the historically extravagant and groundbreaking shows the man himself put together to Sarah Burton’s more toned down but still beautiful collections. Obviously I didn’t attempt to do justice to the former, so I tried my hand at putting together a look inspired by Sarah’s blend of delicate femininity and nomadic edge, and it went...okay? Like it’s definitely not my favourite of all the looks because it does give off slightly cheap copycat vibes buuut outside of the context of this lookbook it’s cute.

3. Brock Collection

-boater hat from Ebay, midi skirt from morganogle on Depop, corset top from ownmode_, heels from amybeckett1, bag from Primark-

Brock isn’t as well known a brand as most of the others in this list but I adore everything Laura Vassar Brock does and I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to try and channel the vision of one of the OG pioneers of the cottagecore vibe through my own wardrobe. I mean fr, this woman’s work as a steady provider of meadow photoshoot worthy dresses and corsets and skirts is v slept on and I will not stand for it. I will sit in front of a camera and then write a paragraph in my blog post begging anybody who reads to give LVB (an abbreviation I acknowledge is unlikely to catch on because Lisa Vanderpump anybody?) some form of acknowledgement for her services to period romance novel inspired moodboards everywhere.

4. Marc Jacobs

-coat from House of Sunny, white shirt from Retro World Camden, co-ord from Sugar Thrillz, bag from Poppy Lissiman-

If there’s one thing Marc Jacobs always does, it’s COMMITS. TO. HIS. THEME. I just KNOW he has a secret Pinterest with separate boards for every fashion era of the 20th century and he is putting those boards to good use providing us with collections that are as immersive as they are eclectic year in year out.

5. Miu Miu

-beret from H&M, hair clips from H&M, jewellery from Primark, coat from mollyyemmaa on Depop, shirt from YesStyle, sweater vest from YesStyle, skirt from Depop, diamanté belt from Brandy Melville, shoes from Koi Vegan Footwear-

We all like to talk about Bratz dolls and Monster High dolls and Barbies as fashion inspo but can we all focus on Cabbage Patch dolls for two secs so as to acknowledge the fact that a Miu Miu collection is basically all their fits grown up? And made boujie as fuck? If I want my fix of Wes Anderson meets Scream Queens (what a combo) inspired outfits, if I want prissy and girlish but also glam, if I want to look like a bratty rich girl whose one redeeming quality is her eye for vintage clothes, I know where to look and that is the Miu Miu section of Vogue Runway.

6. Vera Wang

-blazer as in no.1, velvet bralet from catdegaris on Depop, harness from Amazon, skirt from Ebay, knee high socks from Ebay, lace up boots from Ebay-

Vera Wang’s RTW aesthetic, a blend of the ethereal, ultra-feminine bridal designs she’s known for and British style punk rock influences, is something I feel has only become firmly established in recent years but it is everything I ever wanted and more. I always find myself trying to balance the part of me that loves everything girly and delicate and pretty and the part of me that would love to be in a biker gang and Vera’s collections are always an inspirational reminder of just how well it can be done.

7. Burberry

-coat from charity shop, suit from emmafisher3 on Depop, top from simranindia, shirt underneath from Zara, jewellery from ASOS-

Now I’m not gonna lie, I’m not the biggest fan of Burberry but there have been a few looks over the past few years I’ve really liked and as someone who owns numerous trench coats, high necks and way too much plaid, I thought it’d be an easy one to replicate. Plus, if you can count on Riccardo Tisci for nothing else you at least can rely on him giving you some layering inspo which is very much needed in a country where it literally just snowed in April and where my plans for today have just been cancelled because the iPhone weather app did a Karen Smith and didn’t predict rain for today right up until it started raining so thanks for that one British meteorologists. Your incompetence strikes again.

8. Etro

-corset from Urban Outfitters, vinyl trench coat from Topshop, boots from Ebay, black slip dress from kaoanaoleinik on Depop, fur trim afghan coat from louisemarcella-

Like with Brock Collection, Etro isn’t a hugely well known brand, but it is always one of my favourites-to add a spanner into the works of any attempts to cultivate a firm sense of personal style, I live for the ornate Bohemian look that Etro does so well just as much as I love both grungy and girly pieces, and so I really wanted to include a brand whose collections go down that route. It was a toss-up between this and Zimmerman, the flirtier, free spirit counterpart to the dark romance of Veronica Etro’s designs; her vision really shines through the most when it comes to the brand’s winter collections, imo, and given that I live in a country where winter or some weather state resembling it does seem to take up 70% of the year, I did decide on channelling her work rather than that of the equally talented Nicky and Simone Zimmermann this time round.

9. Dolce & Gabbana

-flower crown from ASOS, tiara from Amazon, earrings from YesStyle, dress from alicealderdice1 on Depop, opera gloves from Ebay, boots from Koi Vegan Footwear-

D&G is a brand I felt really conflicted about doing-I don’t include their current collections in my fashion week reviews based on the actions of designers Stefano Gabbana and Domenico Dolce over the last few years because I don’t want to mitigate the collective effort of fashion critics to push them towards irrelevancy. Though people like to claim the brand has turned a corner since Lucio Di Rosa was brought on board as the manager of celebrity and VIP relations last year (they are as prolific a force on red carpet fashion as ever), we haven’t seen any real meaningful apologies or reparations made by Dolce and Gabbana themselves which once again leaves us in the all too familiar quandary of whether or not we can separate the art from the artist especially when it is far too much of a simplification to only credit the two men for their work given there’s a whole design team behind them. There are a LOT of shitty people working in fashion, the whole industry is a bit of a cesspit if we’re honest, but I don’t think that should stop us from at least being able to appreciate old collections if we make sure we aren’t engaging in any kind of promotion of current works whilst doing so. D&G are a brand of high highs and low lows, with looks that range from hideously ugly to showstoppingly beautiful in a single show-when the looks are good, they are GOOD-and their presence in the fashion world is most definitely felt whether we want it to be or not. It would just be shit to refuse to recognise the existence of some real iconic runway moments, the practical work that went into the ornate detail and opulence that helped cement D&Gs place in sartorial history, the styling that’s made goddesses and fairytale queens out of modern day women as they’ve glided down catwalks, the far more extravagant and, let’s be real, sexier version of our world D&G shows have transported us to in the past. Will I talk about D&G ever again? No, and if you Google the scandals their brand has faced over the past few years, there are more than enough reasons why, but just this once I did want to pay homage to some of the collections, the snippets of which I saw on my Tumblr dashboard back when I was about 13, that first got me into fashion.

10. Gucci

-fur coat from Topshop, clips from Zaful, glasses from Ebay, dress from gracewright246 on Depop, shirt from Boohoo, blazer from charity shop-

Now last but, if you ever read any of my fashion week reviews (the likelihood of someone actually having read one of them and reading this is incredibly, incredibly slim lol, I wouldn’t read me either) you’ll know, definitely not least, is Gucci because Alessandro Michele comes through every!! single!! time!!

The man is truly the king of quirky throwback maximalism and it hurts my heart that a lot of people seem to think of it only as a brand associated with ostentatious displays of wealth. Year after year since Michele was made creative director he has released purposeful, fully-fleshed out collections which unravel themselves to us on the runway like time capsules containing the belongings of the rich and whimsical and yes that can sometimes result in outfits which are *ahem* a bit mismatched but it doesn’t matter because through fashion he manages to take us to a vivid version of the past where people could dress as freely and lavishly as they wanted to, into the wardrobe of a person unaffected by the side-eyeing of others. You get the impression he doesn’t design so much as plays around with some kind of enchanted dress up box and takes inspiration from there and to give that impression is only a credit to his talent-to make outfits so kooky and extravagant look like they were meant to be takes a boldness and genuine love for clothes that I do tend to feel a lot of the big name designers have lost in the pursuit of profit and the necessary placating of the dying customer base that keeps that coming in. Of course I'm not for a second saying Gucci does not care about profit, but at the very least, they have on board a creative director who genuinely has fun with what they’re putting out there and wants to make a statement too and that really shows; you can rest on your laurels and sell tweed boucle jackets to rich old white women for eternity but nobody’s going to mention your brand name and the word groundbreaking in the same sentence ever again unless they’re talking about what it was a century ago, you know (mentioning no names...unless...did I hear someone say Chanel)? That feels like such a shady way to end, lol, but I’m sure said brand will survive-to be fair, they’ve been included in every other What I’d Wear to Sit Front Row At video I’ve seen so although I’m always slagging them off for doing the saaaaame thinggggg year after year, for that same reason their aesthetic is instantly recognisable and so will always be a source of imitation. There are obviously pros and cons to being a brand which constantly reinvents itself but I think it’s totally possible to do that whilst maintaining an overall mission, and Alessandro Michele’s work at Gucci demonstrates that with ease.

Anyway, if you got to here, thanks for reading! I know I’m super behind on this whole TikTok trend and I know a Tumblr post instead of a video is a bit of a cop out but all the real, physically awkward ones out there know that watching yourself back is excruciating lmao, so I hope this does the trick. After this, I’m gonna get back to the reviewing S/S21 collections post though knowing me I’ll probs take a few days to get back into that because I feel like since I left full-time education (RIP me going back in a few months) writing continuously like this for any longer than about 15 mins fries what brain cells I have left. Again, thank you for reading and if you are, sending many good vibes your way! Stay safe!

Lauren x

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commonalex · 5 years ago

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Aphrodite

(press play, won't bite ya)

aphrodite by common alex

Listen/download: aphrodite by common alex

They really caught my eye by mistake. Couldn’t even make out what was really happening because of the slow daybreak; when I finished parking she was already laid down on the parking lot and this old fuck with his black-as-a-crow dyed hair and this filthy white shirt was stomping her sides. I shout till I get noticed by this dusty boned ass and his halloweeny mustache he rocks in this late September. I sprint (well, supposedly, my lungs aren’t as light as they used to) and he flinches as if he shat his pants towards a old green Citroen bumped to pieces. I swear he was this close getting his ass beat.

-You shouldn’t have done that.

-Are you… okay, lady? Hey, easy easy. No sudden moves, I got a first aid kit back at the truck.

-Oh no. No, don’t you ”lady” me.

With these dark brunette hair, this long black kimono robe tied by her waist and these thick sunglasses hiding her eyes, her age must be somewhere around fifty, maybe less. I see no blood, though, only on her bottom lip and her back from the asphalt; the rest are just bruises by hand or by shoe. I put some old band aids I found along some other (close to be expired) shit and help her to stand while being a bit scared she is way more hurt internally. But even though she stands alright there’s something about her that doesn’t seem quite right.

-Don’t scratch that, let it dry out. What about a hospital, a doctor? Is there anything like that close from here?

-What do you think, big boy?

That I made a stupid question. Why on earth would there be a hospital close to a truck station on the highway? There’s not even a restaurant around here anymore. We barely get a cup of shitty coffee along with overpriced snacks and a chance to piss with the constant risk of getting infected of something too fucked up for science to give it a name yet.

-Where’s your car?

-I don’t have a car.

-Were you brought here?

The sunglasses slowly fell from her straight lined nose for me to see her smudged eyes guiding me to the right. There really was no car. Only an abandoned gas station, a really creepy playground overgrown by weeds and grass and an old caravan, five by three meters with a blue stripe on its side. I look at her for confirmation and I walk her slow as one can go to let her sit on a cheap travel armchair right besides the open wide door of the caravan.

-I’m… Aphrodite. And you?

Her hesitation right before her name has successfully rang every single bell in existence.

-Does it matter?

She seems unbothered. Knowing my name or not is just the same to her, so to speak; as long as I don’t ask any questions about this pasty prick hitting her a few moments ago.

-Well you’re right about that. How old are you?

-Thirty-three.

-Good for you, you seem nothing like your age. You could tell me you’re twenty six, I’d believe you.

Wow, she’s really into talking, isn’t she? So much she tries to pull a second chair for me beside her. I take a sec to understand if all this a way of flirting or just an awkward compliment used instead for “thanks” because I was at the wrong place at the right moment.

-Sorry, you caught me at work. A long drive to Romania, really, and if I don’t stick to schedule they’ll come for my ass.

Still, unphased.

But she keeps on digging to me.

-Yeah, I’ve heard that a lot. I mean have you ever seen anyone that you try chatting with them and they aren’t in any rush?

Aphrodite seems kind enough to relieve me from my puzzled face by opening and closing her robe as she speaks, as if I, an engaged dude with two babies back home, am all about that shit right now. And even if I was, just by looking at her breast and legs I get a weird feeling. So I play dumb until she gets tired of trying. She doesn’t. And this woman was lying on a parking lot ten minutes ago.

-Look, I can’t help with anything else. And besides, how can I put it, I don’t really…

She catches up and cuts me off from the worst.

-What you “don’t really”. Fuck hookers or fuck trans?

I can’t stress enough how embarrassed I got between these seconds. For sure I didn’t want to put it like that, but how could I say that without saying it? I simply nodded. She seemed like she understood though. She ties her robe back and drags me to chit chat once again (because she couldn’t drag me inside that greasy caravan), beginning to unfold the story of her life. Literally. Awkward as fuck, but I’d lie if I wasn’t intrigued with her.

She said she was born in a rural town far from here, raised by her “holy as a woman can ever be” grandma Aphrodite (that’s where the name comes from)- she tells me that exact thing about three times. I’m asking for her parents and then waiting her to finish with the endless cursing towards them just so the story continues to the point she reaches fourteen years old. Right there is where she, without a warning, runs away from home to Salonika, the closest big city she could afford to start selling her body.

-I’d be lying if I ever said I didn’t get comfy with work, especially the first few clients. After the initial stress dies down you wait for the instinct of habit. I swear, you could spend a week in this job and nothing would ever surprise you anymore. You can’t imagine what kinds of filth and secrets lie outside. Kinky psychos showing up with their wedding rings on, notorious pimps spending all morning on a tv show asking “where is this country really going with all this filth“, priests. Well, you heard nothing about priests yet, I tell you that.

Aphrodite, an adult now, eventually grows far too big for Salonika and makes a trip down to Athens (as she always intended), finding only more filth and misery inside a poorly lit basement with other prostitutes. Her desperation keeps on popping up here and there for a while because she couldn’t predict things turning so damn shitty and unbearable. She stacks her money little by little and she finally gets her surgery.

-And how was thing afterwards?

-Deep inside I knew this was my time; with the body I should have had. And the best thing was that no new client could ever understand the difference, and even if he did that was the last thing he was concerned with. I was ahead of everyone else in there- all of them. But little did I care about all that, I was made for greater things. I didn’t plan to stay in that fucking basement any longer, getting fucked by the lowest of people. That’s why I got my head down and worked my ass off until I could make a name of myself, until I could make not enough money but the real money. And that was what really got the best of me in the end, I think.

She then “moves” to the biggest red light district of Athens (I mean, of course, where else could she really be, right?) and that’s the point where her story really turns sketchy. Whatever she told me to this minute might be a bit cliche, but still believable. Now she runs over all that, telling me to believe that she managed to get so big she turned to a highly paid escort for rich and powerful people like that (which I guess you could say is plausible, given that she indeed would be beautiful at some point). Just the names and zeros she dropped on the table makes me suspicious as hell. But this isn’t the end, she continues with her Mercedes car she owned and took rides with back at her grandma’s place or with how she was personally invited every time the american fleet stopped in Rhodes and Crete. Like she’s living in a goddamn movie.

-So things get really, and I mean really busy, am I right?

-It didn’t take long for magazines and tv shows for nosy people to notice me. Those were the days, I tell you. You remember the checks I used to get previously? Well you wouldn’t even imagine those. I was called the “trannie”, the “pure Satan offspring”, the “biggest mistake of the nature”- really whatever. I’m still laughing. By the time the camera was switching off everyone was begging for a photoshoot or an interview like their life depended on it. You can’t just pass this opportunity to get famous. It’s as strong as a drug. All this attention, all those lights really make you feel like you’re doing something good at last.

How much time could have passed for the sun to come out full force, burning my back like a motherfucker? I take a peek at my watch and I see it’s quarter past ten. Shit. I really should be going by now. How do I cut it out for her, hoping that she will eventually go to the doctor by herself? How do I escape her mouth from talking so slow or her eyes from following me like a predator’s?

-That’s alright and all, but...

-I know, you can’t tell right now, but everyday I was getting calls and visits from designers at my house by the shore to ask me if I would wear their shit. Yeah, I reached that peak. I mean, would you believe me if I told you I stumbled upon Dolce & Gabbana at the airport? Giving me their cards and all?

No. No I wouldn’t believe you.

-That’s all nice and dandy, Aphrodite, but something’s missing. I mean, what are you doing here? Like, for real.

You can’t make me believe she didn’t expect this to come up eventually, but here she is acting like that. Leaving sighs and staring into nothingness. Her voice even changes up a bit, gets a more serious tone to it, out of the blue.

-Do you really believe prostitutes tend to think about the future? I mean, really? Do they make plans of retirement or something? Especially the trans ones. Let me tell you, most of them can’t even think about making it to thirty, either from someone or themselves. I, personally, chickened out twice and got rescued three times, and you’re coming here telling me if I ever thought I would be here during my old days?

-With all these things you casually spill out of doing in the ‘90s you should be standing above thousands, even millions, with all of the doors wide open for you. What happened? How could you go from a house by the shore, a Mercedes and all these interviews to, you know… This?

Where, just to remind you, this is a fucked up caravan besides the highway where old fucks are coming to kick her in the neck.

-”What happened”. Like I never asked that to myself. I’m here, sitting and telling you a stuff or two about myself and you have the nerve to pull a “what happened”. What could have happened, big boy? What do you believe?

She seems really sensitive that not only I interrupted her story but in addition I questioned the lies she spices it with. Welp, what can you do, I already threw half of my morning out of the window with this one, we’re only left to see where is she going with all these delusions of her amazingly faked past. Like I have any time to spare.

-Tell me.

-It must be the place, dunno. You, for example, came here maybe for a piss stop and then back to work. And what a demanding work; holding a wheel until you don’t. But what about the whores? Whores got a body to maintain till its expiration date. After that, game over; again, if the make it there. If disgust hasn’t eaten them alive by then. If insecurities about everything starting to loosen up, or the ringing of the phone that eventually will go silent, or reaching the point of begging to keep on living cause family is not an option anymore. They go nuts, you see, they hold on from anything they can reach just to keep on feeling that all this they are going through really mattered. Just to keep on feeling like they are valued.

-So is this why you’re staying here? To feel like this matters? To get beaten up by old fucks and internally accepting it? Why don’t you ask for help?

-This is help. This old fuck is the only one that comes around and throws a penny for me to maintain myself. He’s the only one that fucks me, anyway. That’s why I’m here, for him- it’s his caravan after all. He lives about twenty minutes from here with a wife, kids and grandkids. He just likes to “get it out of his system” once every few days by fucking for free and beating me whenever I mention that I can’t do this anymore, because he is afraid that his whore isn’t loyal to him. But why am I saying all these things to you. I’m wasting my words. You still don’t believe me.

I don’t know where her truth and lies stand anymore, only that if she really lived all these things she’s a massive fool for not writing a book. I, for once, took too much of my time for all this crap. When I started heading back to the track she switched to her first ways, telling me that “I’m doing the right thing” or that the old guy with the mustache “really has a gun and doesn’t mess around”. Yeah, whatever. I get in and peep Aphrodite behind the window waiting on the chair for me to go but something inside makes it hard for me to start the truck. It’s quarter to eleven but her endless chatter seem to get my weariness going. As time passes and the truck stays still, Aphrodite eventually heads back to the caravan shutting the door behind her. I’m kinda relieved. But I’m still madly curious, what can I do? Ah, fuck it, Romania can wait a bit more. I pull out my phone and search blindly, trying to find anything at all.

Aphrodite.

Trans.

Prostitute.

‘90s.

Modeling.

Enter.

I couldn’t feel anything less than a dick at this point. It seems unreal. Not only she was legit, but she toned things down a little in her story. The photoshoots were indeed professional and stunning, while I found an interview of her on an ancient tv talk show I never really knew existed where she explains how much her life changed due to the massive exposure she got at this point. Same as today, minus the touches of time on her. But most of all happy. Really all this attention made her bloom ridiculously. Magazine covers, runways, pageants; all enough to back up not only Aphrodite's public existence but also her relations with really established and rich individuals. And all of there as cute as hell, but where did all these money go? Well, the answer lies to a more recent past, this time inside tabloid news articles.

Only three to four year ago, Aphrodite spawns once again, this time in Jerusalem (what the fuck) in order to get closer with her faith and a highly respected priest there. So damn respected that people wouldn’t stop to talk about their “secret” meetings late at night, to the point where photos and videos leak publicly. Result? These tabloid fucks smell the blood from far, far away and get to hunting the story. The priest goes public, says “sorry guys, my mistake, Satan trapped me and such, didn’t want to, sorry again, peach to all”, gets thrown away from the local church and that was pretty much the end. Aphrodite on the other hand vanishes once again up until this point, right here, on this parking lot besides the highway.

I guess that’s what she meant with that “you heard nothing about priests yet” earlier. Maybe I should have listen more carefully or see her face better in order to recognize her from all this priest thing that blew up literally everywhere back then. Either way, my curiosity stopped killing me but guilt took over me. With my route schedule gone to the shitter already, I knock her caravan door till she opens with death in her eyes. I show her the interview I found on my phone.

-It’s you, isn’t it?

-That’s really a shame, big boy. What do you do with all these truck stuff. You should be working for NASA by now.

I was wrong before. This point right here is where I can’t feel anything less than a dick.

She invited me inside and made me sit right across a really slow fan that was spinning just for the aesthetics in order to make me feel less of a sweaty pig. The caravan looks way more comfy on the inside with a massive bed and a narrow sofa but the mountains of hoarding shit and snack packaging lying around here and there do no favors. It’s a good option for holidays, but absolutely not for regularly living inside of it. Aphrodite doesn’t seem to bother with my snoopy eyes. She holds the phone with both hands while carrying the cold look. As if she doesn’t recognize herself. As if she doesn’t want to.

-When was that?

-Not sure. ‘95? Later than that? I only recall just how rude and creepy this interviewer was. He didn’t hit on me or anything like that, it’s just that he was always an ass kisser in front of you and a shit talker behind your back. I didn’t get how much crude and sarcastic he was in that interview until years later. Now that I think of that, I guess everyone were kind of the same. But these were different times, more fabulous, more sparkly, more…. Innocent? I guess innocent isn’t the right word for it.

Then I show her the article about the priest. She kinda leaves a bitter smile there. She might no look exactly happy but nevertheless she must understood that in the end I kinda cared and dug up her whole history to make it up for myself after treating her like shit. She silently accepts it, even though with her fair share of reservations this time.

-That’s the most recent I could find, there’s nothing next to that. Would you mind telling me what happened next?

-One day my head was about to explode. I couldn’t do this anymore. All I wanted was to somehow save my soul from this pit of crap I ended up, and the idea stuck to me the moment I accidentally found grandma’s cross among my stuff. That was really it. I quit the job, closed my phone and traveled to churches and monasteries, throwing money around to buy a seat next to God. Turns out I found my Devil, though.

She’s way more reserved than before. I get that all of this might still cut deep and talking about it hurts like a bitch. I tell her she doesn’t really have to say anything she doesn’t want to and I am ready to leave her alone if she asks me to. She calmed my anxious ass with a simple nod.

-And the videos?

-I leaked them. I told you prostitutes don’t think about the future. I couldn’t even think about today at this point of my life; I was really in a shitty place. The priest wanted to go big, a bishop or something like that, and to do that she had to dump me. Like I was the one flirting with him in the first place. And he was the one supporting me, so what the fuck would I do there alone? That’s where a magazine came to me, no idea of its name, put money on my hand for the footage and came back with these money, just so nothing would remind of everything that played out down there. As you’d expect, money didn’t last forever. So I got to a point where I was like “what can I do”? I could never be a beggar and I could never go back to a brothel without people laughing at me, so I went from one old friend to another until someone finally decided to help.

-Someone. Like a cunt.

-Yeah, a cunt, I don’t know. It’s better than nothing.

I ran out of words. I’m no longer curious, no longer so guilty and for sure don’t feel pity for her. I can only say “good luck” and “take care” to her as I walk out; even though neither of these hold any value for her situation. She didn’t wanna hop on the truck because she didn’t feel like she has anywhere to go. I try to make her understand that anywhere is better than this misery and abuse. She responds somewhat philosophical, telling me that who knows, maybe someone might come up on this truck stop and can actually help her. Give her money to live or anything else she needs and then taking he-...

-Aphrodite! Out! Now!

The shouting from outside got her eyes open wide, staring at the door for a good second. I never believed I could see her scared shitless.

-You shouldn’t have done that, I told you so.

-Is this him?

I didn’t need an answer to that. Her bottom lip shaking like her jaw’s about to fall gives me all the information I need. She pulls my hand from the door to stop me. Too bad I already decided my approach. I smile at her to stop her from panicking and jump out with sun hanging above me. Ten meters on the left there’s the green Citroen with one door open and a bit closer there’s the old bastard standing a bit closer with a shotgun resting in his hands. The truck is straight ahead, forty steps or so. It’s just a sprint as the worst case scenario, big deal. Either way I bet his shaky hands could even load before shooting. Ha, there it is, haven’t I told you, he dropped the fucking shotgun. Ten more steps and hello Romania. I only feel bad that I didn't have the time to greet her for the last time before I go. I yell "goodbye" as I'm running but my voice isn't coming out at all. But again how could it be heard right here, right now with all those bang bang bang bang b…

The only thing I can make out of all this noise is her screaming from the back.

-No! Oh God!

#poetryriot #24hoursopen #abstractcommunity #poetryportal #twcpoetry #writerscreed #savage-words #illustrans #recognizingthevoiceless #bitsofstarglow #electricexhibition #story #short story #prose #prose poetry #writing #dialogue #poets on tumblr

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danieledorazi · 6 years ago

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Branding - Theory vs Reality

I often come across book, articles, posts, whatever promising the recipe for success, when it comes to branding, marketing, and whatnot.

Recently, I found this: “10 Branding Elements and What They Mean”

I thought - wow, this is good in terms of theory, but - alas - completely useless today, as fashion (among other businesses) became something unpredictable, random and nonsensical.

The article goes:

1. Brand identity

‘The brand of course is an easily recognizable name that immediately tells people about a certain organization that manufactures certain products or renders certain services.

Brand identity is the way people recognize the brand. It may be through the logo or other associated visuals.2 The Swoosh logo of Nike is very simple, but is immediately recognizable worldwide along with its punchline, “Just Do It”.’

FALSE.

The brand’s name is, nowadays, completely irrelevant. Even pointless. One of the coolest fashion brands in the world is called Acne Studios. Acne. ACNE. A C N E.

What about the logo? Gosha Rubchinskiy’s logo was a hijacking of another, iconic logo. Fiorucci had something like 73 different logos. Today, lots of brands have suspiciously similar logos.

2. Brand image

‘Brand image is the idea of the brand that people develop in their minds. It also dictates what they expect from the brand. For instance, Rolls Royce has the image of a luxury car maker. So, it cannot be making a budget car even if there is a market. Its existing premium customers won’t take it kindly as it dilutes the said image.

It’s hard and sometimes impossible to change brand image, so it’s best to know what you’re aiming at, before you invest hard earned dollars.’

FALSE.

Balenciaga had the image of a luxury fashion brand. Then it became one of the weirdest expensive brands in the fashion game. And now they produce budget clothes which sell for top dollars. The Triple S shoe is ugly, and made in China. And cost a grand.

“It’s hard and sometimes impossible to change brand image”? Not really, it just takes a new creative director, a few famous influencers and a week of Instagram posting to change it.

3. Brand positioning

‘Positioning is the way a product is placed in the market. It basically defines what segments of the market it is targeting. For instance Virginia Slims is a cigarette targeted at women. Basic ingredients in all cigarettes are same but this one has been positioned to attract women by making it slimmer in size and making the packaging sleeker.’

FALSE.

Supreme was a skateboarding company. Supreme is now a fashion brand. Did they position themselves as such? Nope, the consumers did.

4. Brand personality

‘Brand personality is just like the personality of human beings. It is certain emotional or personal qualities that we associate with a particular brand. For example we can associate youthfulness with Pepsi or ruggedness with Wrangler. Every element of the brand identity including the colour of the logo and the typography on the brand name adds to the personality.’

FALSE.

Polo Ralph Lauren was supposed to be the personification of the American dream, the brand for the Ivy League WASP-rich-blue-eyed-cool-handsome kid with the splendid hair. It’s now collaborating with Palace, finally coming out of the closet as a hip hop brand. Epic.

5. Brand equity

‘Brand equity is the value of a brand. It may include tangible financial value such as market share and revenue as well as intangible aspects such as strategic benefits of the brand. For example Apple is a major technology brand and people perceive it is a premium, cutting edge manufacturer of quality products. So, it is not only the sales but the sheer image that takes the equity to a different level altogether.’

FALSE.

From Wikipedia: ‘Brand equity is the positive effect of the brand on the difference between the prices that the consumer accepts to pay when the brand is known compared to the value of the benefit received.’

Anti Social Social Club offers bad products with basics graphics for serious money. They had no history whatsoever. They sold a gazillion tees and hoodies. Their product is so basic that the fake ones are exactly the same, you can’t tell the original from the fake. What value, then? Ah.

Again, according to Wikipedia, a brand can experience “negative brand equity”, ‘due to catastrophic events to the brand, such as a wide product recall or continued negative press attention.’ Dolce & Gabbana upset the gay community, refuse to embrace sustainability, offend millions of Instagram users, shame countless people for their body shape, claim that sexual harassment is “not violence”, come up with sexist ads, and, guess what? NOBODY CARES, and the brand sells like hell. Weird, right?

6. Brand experience

‘Brand experience is a combination of everything that a customer goes through while purchasing and using that brand. For example how does one feel while ordering food and eating at KFC? How does the staff behave and how fast do they deliver and of course how did the food taste? Also, since it has many outlets all over the world, all of them are expected to maintain uniform standards of experience.’

FALSE.

Check this out - “Alleged Balenciaga Store Racism Angers Chinese Consumers”

7. Brand Differentiation

‘Differentiation, as the word suggests is how a brand stands out in the crowd. For instance Dell Computers lets people choose their components and assemble their own system, thus making it different from others who just sell readymade machines at the shop with no scope for customization.’

FALSE.

Differentiation, you say? Lol.

8. Brand communication

‘Brand communication is the message it delivers through various sources like adverts, brochures, punchlines and hoardings. If the brand has to grow, it must be able to clearly communicate its core benefits to the customers.’

FALSE.

Balenciaga - again - doesn’t really care when it comes to ‘clearly communicate its core benefits to the customers’, by looking at their Instagram account.

9. Brand gap

‘Brand gap is the difference between what a brand promises to deliver in its communications and what it actually does. For its own sake, the gap should not be very high. A successful brand must be able to deliver what it promises. No amount of advertising or content marketing efforts can save a bad product.’

FALSE.

“In a large part streetwear is seen as cheap. What my goal has been is to add an intellectual layer to it and make it credible,” says Virgil Abloh. So, where is the intellectual layer the brand promises? Oh yes, they put the Mona Lisa on a sweater... wow.

10. Brand extension

‘Brand extension is basically the idea of going beyond ones origins and exploring newer fields. For example Google started as a search engine. But now it provides many other services including emails and mobile operating systems. This is how it has extended the brand but it must be done in a manner so that the existing operations complement the newer initiatives.’

FALSE.

Does the collaboration between Gucci and the NY Yankees make sense, when it comes to newer initiatives complementing existing operations? In other words - what would Guccio Gucci say?

#balenciaga #branding #branding theory #gucci #palace

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databridge34 · 2 years ago

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Toddler Wear Market 2022 by Major Players

According to this Toddler Wear Market business report, the market is greatly transforming because of the moves of the key players and brands including developments, product launches, joint ventures, mergers and acquisitions that in turn changes the view of the global face of Toddler Wear industry. The report includes data on patterns and improvements, target business sectors and materials, limits and advancements. It is helpful in determining the discount rates, the actual prices and the price ranges, price elasticity for its products. A comprehensive Toddler Wear Market report endows with the list of leading competitors and their moves such as joint ventures, acquisitions, and mergers etc.

Market Analysis and Insights: Toddler Wear Market

The Toddler Wear Market is expected to grow at a growth rate of 6.20% during the forecast period, from 2021 to 2028. Data Bridge Market Research analyzes the factors responsible for propelling the growth in the Baby Clothing market.

This increase in the market value of baby clothing could be due to various factors such as: B. Increased focus of product manufacturers on product innovation, increasing demand for special clothing for babies, steadily increasing birth rates, particularly in China and India, growth and expansion of the personal care industry and apparel, particularly in emerging markets, the growing popularity of e-commerce platforms, particularly in emerging markets, and the increase in personal disposable income.

On the other hand, fluctuations in raw material prices will be a big challenge for the growth of the toddler clothing market in the long term. The fast and uncertain fashion trends will further weaken the growth rate of the baby clothing market. The increasing presence of disorganized local players who can offer cheap clothes will again hamper the growth of the baby clothing market.

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What is the Scope and Market Size of Tissue Products Market?

· Based on the type of product, the false eyelash market is segmented into apparel, shoes and others.

· By gender, the false eyelash market is segmented into boys, girls and unisex.

· Based on distribution channels, the False Eyelashes market is segmented into online distribution channels and offline distribution channels.

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Toddler Wear Market research report also studies competitive companies and manufacturers in the global market. It studies market by product type, applications and growth factors. What is more, industry status and outlook for major applications, end users, and usage area is also involved for the market study. This market report puts light on various aspects of marketing research that range from important industry trends, market size, market share estimates, sales volume, emerging trends, product consumption, customer preferences, historic data along with future forecast and key player analysis. Toddler Wear Market is the most encouraging market research report which has been structured in the way anticipated.

The major players covered in the toddler wear market report are

· Benetton Group Srl

· Carter’s Inc.

· adidas America Inc.

· Nike, Inc.

· FARFETCH UK Limited.

· The Trendy Toddlers

· Gap Inc.

· Mothercare plc

· H & M Hennes & Mauritz AB.

· Gildan.

· Cotton On Group

· Diesel SpA

· Dolce & Gabbana S.r.l.

· HANESBRANDS INC.

· Ralph Lauren

Brief on country level analysis:

The baby clothing market is segmented by product type, gender, and distribution channel.

The countries covered by the Baby Clothing Market report are USA, Canada and Mexico in North America, Germany, France, UK, Netherlands, Switzerland, Belgium, Russia, Italy, Spain, Turkey and other Europe in Europe, China, Japan , India, South Korea, Singapore, Malaysia, Australia, Thailand, Indonesia, Philippines, Rest of Asia Pacific (APAC), Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Israel, Egypt, South Africa, Rest of Middle East and Africa (MEA) as part of Middle East and Africa (MEA), Brazil, Argentina and Rest of South America as part of South America.

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About Us:

Data Bridge Market Research set forth itself as an unconventional and neoteric Market research and consulting firm with unparalleled level of resilience and integrated approaches. We are determined to unearth the best market opportunities and foster efficient information for your business to thrive in the market.

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Tel: +1-888-387-2818

Email: [email protected]

#Toddler Wear Market

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