#Do you think whatever you gotta say is more important than everything else in the tag for some reason?

[vro0ms-evil-twin]

I'm so annoyed by people who write whole posts in big text like please I'm scrolling and you're suddenly yelling at me what's that about

[dumplingsjinson]

List of random dialogue prompts (pt. 2)

“If you felt want and longing the way I did — the way I still do — I promise you’d be driven fucking mad.”

“I wanted the thrill of the chase more than I wanted you.” 

“You really couldn’t have been any more obvious.” “That’s because I didn’t have anything to hide. I was being obvious, because I needed you to know, without a doubt, that I love you.” 

“This is literally the worst moment for me to be saying this but considering how we could die at any second, I need to get this off my chest before I become buried six feet under, without a chance to say any of this to you: I love you. I’ve loved you since we were kids. I’ve loved you every second of my life; from the moment when I knew what loving someone really meant.” 

“I kinda knew I lost all feelings for you when I realised I didn’t want to communicate with you about the problems that were happening between us. I became complaisant.” 

“Loving you is as easy as overthinking everything.” 

“It’s… easy with you. Nice. I don’t have to be someone else to impress you, because I know you love me for me.”

“There are parts of me I’d never thought I’d show to anyone else, but then… You came along, and for some reason, you made me want to be honest with you; bare my soul to you.”

“So what in the hell are we? I’m not doing this unless we’re on the same page.” 

“Please don’t tell me we’re nothing to you… That I mean nothing after everything’s that happened.”

“You’re my emotional support human, and I love you so, so much.”

“If you ever need me, I’ll be right here. Just as I’ve always been.” 

“I’d let you break my heart, if it means I’d get to have you for even a day.” 

“You make me feel like dancing in the pouring rain wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” 

“You’re astoundingly unhealthy for me, but do I care? No, because I wouldn’t have fallen if I cared, especially when I’m someone who’s usually so careful with whom I give my heart to.”

“…I didn’t drunk call you. It wasn’t a drunk call. I called you, perfectly sober.” 

“You’re someone I want to tell things to.”

“What’s more important to me is that I’m your last love.” 

“This… This hurts me more than it hurts you.”

“Falling in love wasn’t on the agenda.” “Do you mean falling in love with me out of all people wasn’t on the agenda?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’m kind of in love?”

“…I want all of you. On top, under, whatever — I don’t care, I just want you.”

“Maybe I can help you forget about them.”

“It’s easier to pretend I’m still in love with them, than leave them in that state.” “You know you basically lying to them about your feelings is gonna hurt them more in the long run, right?” 

“Why does it have to be them? Why can’t it be me?”

“I’ll give you two seconds to take that back.” 

“You gotta work for it, love.” 

“We can pretend that didn’t happen.” “I’m sorry, but I’m not as good of an actor as you are.”

“I don’t know how to… I’ve never done this before.” “Then follow my lead, okay?”

“I’m someone who falls in love easily, but I’m also someone who can’t get over someone as easily.”

“I want to make this work, because I don’t— I don’t want to— I can’t lose you.” 

“You make me want to be a better version of myself.”

“I don’t wanna mess this up with you.” “You won’t. I promise, you won’t, so just… Do whatever. I trust you.”  

“Why are you smiling at your phone?” “…I was looking at the mail app, and uh… Received some good news?”

“Because love isn’t linear. You know that, right?”

“I’m not doing this for you — I’m doing this for myself.” 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be that person for you.”

“I’m here to stay. At least until you want me gone, which I hope is never.” 

“Chasing you is like chasing the rainbow… It’s impossible. You’re always slipping away no matter how fast I run after you.”

“Don’t give me that it’s not you, it’s me bullcrap. It’s us both. We’re both at fault for this relationship breakdown.” 

“God, I just like you so, so much.” 

“I think I need to get over you for me to feel better again.” 

“You and your stupid smile… Stop that.” 

“I just need you in me somehow, please—”

“I really hope you realised they were flirting with you.” “…They were?”

“I’ve caught feelings for you, and I know you don’t like me back that way so I just… Wanted to tell you, before I decide to let you go.”

“I’ll be here to pick up the broken pieces if that’s what you want me to do, but I’ll leave if you’re not ready for that… For something more with me.” 

“I love you, but I… I don’t think I see a future with you.” 

“Give me a week. A week, and I’ll be back to normal. A week, and I’ll… I’ll be over you. Just a week and you’ll have the old me back. It’s that easy, I promise.”

“I kinda wanna give myself a concussion so I can forget about you and not think about you twenty-four-seven.” 

(pt. 1) | (pt. 3)

[samkerrworshipper]

the monsters gone

part 3 of beautiful girl series -> part 1 -> part 2

leah williamson x reader, jordan nobbs x reader (wobbs as moms)

warnings: drug addiction, drug abuse, talks of illicit substances, depression, intrusive thoughts, would not advise for people in a bad mental headspace

You wanted her to leave, or you were desperate for a fix and well aware that it wasn’t going to happen until she was gone and you could retreat up to your room like normal. 

You scratched at the incision on your forearm, it was hidden underneath your hoodie but you could feel it all the same, it made you feel guilty. 

You’d never felt guilty for taking drugs, why would you? It was your choice, your body, your brain that you were fucking with. Yet for some reason, the little mark that you knew was sitting right on top of your vein was making you feel guilty. You didn’t want to admit it, but it felt oddly like the start of something, you weren’t sure what though, whatever it was though, it didn’t feel good. 

When the door clicked open around 2 o’clock you felt far more at peace, watching your mom hobble through the door with Lia following her. Jordan stood up almost immediately and if the room hadn’t already been awkward then the awkwardness found a whole new definition as the two women looked at each other. 

“Hey Jord, thanks for hanging around, you’re looking good.”

Your mom looked relieved to see Jordan, your ma on the other side looked slightly terrified as she eyed up the two women. 

“It wasn’t an issue, you know I love spending time with my chick.”

Leah smiled, looking down at you on the couch, you buried your head in your phone, ignoring her gaze. 

“Whether she admits it or not she likes seeing you as well.”

Your ma laughed awkwardly, it took everything in you to not burst out laughing at all of the tension between the two of them. 

“Look I’ll be heading off, gotta me back in Birmingham for game review tonight but can we talk for a minute though Le?”

Your mom’s head cocked to the side, a look of curiosity evident on her face. 

“Yeah sure, come with me.”

Lia watches them with the same look of curiosity as you, your eyes meeting as the trail back from the doorway to Leah’s office that they both step into. 

“They’re talking about me.”

Lia doesn’t bother trying to ignore you or deny what you’re saying, she nodes her head. 

“Probably, that’s what most parents do.”

It’s a absentminded answer, and for a second your aware that maybe Lia is in on whatever is happening, that she knows exactly what is going on behind the door. If anything important came from the phone call earlier you know Lia would be the first to know, she was like the third parent you never asked for nor wanted, but somehow ended up with. 

“Ma thinks that Mom’s parenting is shit.”

Lia cocks her head, she’s harder to read then your moms, more calculated, more clean, less obviously emotional. 

“She just disagrees with some of the things that your mother does, so do I. Nobody else is in her shoes though, she makes the decisions that are necessary and best for you.”

Lia sounds convinced of her words, even though you doubt them. 

“Ma doesn’t think so.”

Lia bit down on her bottom lip, finishing with tucking her kit bag away so she could focus her attention on you. 

“She worries about you.”

You did your best to suppress the eye roll, it didn’t work. 

“She worries that mom is too nice and isn’t strict enough.”

Sometimes you thought that your mom compensated for the void between the two of you by letting you do whatever you wanted, other times you were reminded by your grandma that she’d told Leah she needed to go easy on you and that not everyone could be as perfect as Leah Williamson. 

“Your mom knows what you need better than anybody else.”

The conversation paused, the two of you flinching at the sound of yelling from the other side of the door, you couldn’t make out what was being said, both of them were yelling though. 

“Set the table for lunch for me, kiddo?”

You couldn’t pull your eyes from the door, you hadn’t hear your moms yell in a long time, it took you back to when they were breaking up, when they tried to act like they weren’t, when they saved the fighting and yelling for when you’d been tucked into bed and they’d thought you were asleep. 

“Kiddo, table.”

You stood up from the couch, your eyes staying stuck to the door, even as you pulled cutlery from the drawer and laid it out with the placemats on the table. Eventually, the yelling ceased, and the room was over come with a silence like no other, only being broken by the door opening and your two moms walking out, both of them looking far more content considering that it had sounded like they were screaming at each other, not thirty seconds ago. 

“Bubba, Jord is going to head off, if you want to say bye.”

Jordan’s arms opened up to you and as mad and confused as you were, you weren’t going to deny her. You walked around the table, leaning into her hug, wrapping your arms around her the same way she did for you, letting her hold on for a little bit longer. 

“I’ll be back when I can chicky, I love you so much.”

You wanted to tell her she was lying, that they were all lying, they didn’t fucking love you, it was so fucking obvious. But for the sake of keeping the peace you didn’t. 

“I love you too Ma.”

Jordan let go of you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. The same way she had when they’d adopted you when you were eight, the same way she had after your first game when you were 12, the same way she had when you were 14 and you’d been top of your form and given an award, the same way she had when she’d left for good when you were 16. It was the same kiss, yet everything about it was different, the meaning, the purpose, the intention, it was all different. 

You watched as she walked out the door, the same as every time, you listened to the sound of her car starting and the sound of gravel underneath her tires as she pulled out and onto the road. 

Once you were sure she was gone you turned around, sliding into a seat at the table, across from your mother, staring at her. 

“What were you guys talking about?”

Leah looked at you, poker face as good as ever. 

“Football, some other stuff.”

It was a obvious lie, both you and Lia knew it. 

“You were talking about me, what about me?” Leah rolled her eyes at you. 

“It was a conversation between your Ma and I, not for your ears.”

You didn’t bat an eye as Lia set lunch down in front of you, to fixated on your mother. 

“You don’t yell over nothing, what were you talking about.”

Leah pushed her tongue out against her lips. 

“Your ma had some concerns about you, that’s it, I told her she had nothing to worry about and that we were doing just fine.”

You knew that even if you didn’t want to admit it, Jordan probably had some valid points, your mom seemed unphased though. 

“That’s it?”

Leah looked at you, and you could tell that she was holding something back. 

“She told me that you’d told her you smoked weed last night and that you were vomiting this morning.”

You tried to keep your face from changing, keeping the confident exterior even if you were slightly scared on the inside. 

“I got drunk, I had some fun, it was no biggy.”

Leah’s eyebrow rose in the trademark question. 

“It’s a biggy to me because you told all you were doing was vaping and a little bit of drinking, you said you’d be honest with me and it’s clear you haven’t been.”

You hesitated for a second, the air thickening around you as suddenly the tension was between you and your mother. 

“I was just having some fun mom, I didn’t do anything stupid, I was safe, just like you asked.”

Leah’s face shrivelled up as you used her words against her. 

“You were out with friends I’ve never met, at a house on the opposite side of town that I’ve never been too, Jord said you looked like you’d been on a three day bender and I told her that I didn’t believe her but now you’re here admitting it.”

You reached into your pocket for your vape, desperate for something to take the edge of the conversation off, to make you feel calmer. 

You pulled it out and Leah’s face immediately pointed inwards.

“How many times do I have to say no vape at the table?”

You frowned, shoving it back in your pocket. 

“It was just a bit of weed mom, it’s what kids my age do.”

Leah shook her head. 

“It wasn’t just a bit of weed, I’ve been smelling it on your clothes for weeks and trying to tell myself I was being delusional because you’d told me you were just on the vape, that you had no interest in drugs and yet you were lying to me, you have been for a while bubba and I don’t know how to feel about it to be honest. I thought we were closer than most parents and kids, I thought we had boundaries and that I was giving you enough space, and now I don’t know what to think.”

You pursed your lips, struggling to find words. 

“And if you’re lying to me about weed then what else is there? What else is there you aren’t telling me because there has to be more. I let you drop football, I relaxed on the school because I know you were struggling but this doesn’t work if you aren’t honest with me.” 

You really didn’t know what to say, your mind was in a million different places, the container underneath your bed, the joints on your windowsill hidden behind the curtains, the three vapes in your bedside table, the drug dealer numbers in your phone, what had happened last night, the meth track mark on your arm. 

“Nothing, it was just some weed, I just wanted something to take the edge off, it was no big deal.”

Leah’s eyes closed for a second and you knew this was all about to get a lot harder. 

“Except it was a big deal because you’ve been doing it behind my backs for weeks, I’ve tried to be understanding bubba, I have, I know it’s been tough for you with me and Jords breakup, you’ve had a really hard year, I let the vaping slide, I let your attendance drop at school, but drugs bub, it’s no joke.”

You took a deep breath. 

“It’s just some weed, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

Leah wants to say that if you’re this relaxed about being caught doing weed then she doesn’t want to know what else you’re hiding from her that would make you less relaxed, but she keeps it to herself, or for this moment at least. 

“I want you to bring me whatever you have of it, I won’t have you smoking illicit and illegal substances underneath my roof.”

You figured there were worse things that could happen, she could find your stash, she could take your vape, she could ground you or make you go to school. 

“Okay.”

Your mom nodded, happy she had at least won a small battle. 

“After lunch.”

You nod again in agreeance, looking down at the caesar salad in front of you and stabbing your fork down onto it, picking up the different pieces of lettuce and chicken scattered throughout. 

You make it through half the meal before you grab your bowl and pick it up, walking into the kitchen to do you washing up, your mom follows behind you, her bowl empty. 

You take the dish from her, cleaning it out and stacking both of them in the dishwasher, knowing whats to come now. 

You slow yourself down on the stairs giving her the time to follow behind you as she dragged her bad leg up every individual stair. 

Leah had been putting in hours everyday for her rehab, it was her main focus, over everything else. 

Eventually the two of you made it to the top of the stairs, and eventually to your bedroom door.

You hesitated before opening it, you couldn’t remember the last time Leah had been inside it, way before her acl, ever since she’d gotten injured she’d been avoiding the staircase. 

You opened the door, hand pausing on the cold metal doorknob for a split second before pushing it open. 

Your room was still freezing, you didn’t miss how your mother shivered from the breeze that hit her face immediately, coming straight from the open window. 

“Jesus kiddo, you trying to replicate antarctica in here? You know I pay good money for heating, right?”

It’s a lighthearted joke, yet somehow it hurts for you, you don’t know how or why, you just know that it does. 

“I like it cold.”

Leah looks at you, both brows furrowed inwards. 

“Alright then polar bear.”

You try not to flinch away when her hand reaches up to ruffle your hair, it’s something she’s done to you since you were a kid, it feels wrong now though. 

“Let’s just get this over and done with.”

You walk over to your windowsill, reaching behind the curtain and reaching for the bag of joints that you have stashed behind the material. Leah frowns as you walk back over to her, shoving the bag into her hands before she can even ask. 

“This is all of them?”

She looks completely unconvinced, you probably would be too, most kids don’t give up their drugs willingly. 

“Yes.”

Leah looks at you, eye to eye, like she’s trying to reach into your soul, or read your mind. 

“Bubba, this is your chance, I’m giving you an opportunity to be straight with me, and whatever you tell me or give me I won’t be mad about. I might want to sit down and question your decisions, but I won’t be mad. Teenagers are stupid, they make mistakes, they try new things, I get it. Be honest with me bubba, please.”

You didn’t really know what Leah was insinuating, but it was clear that she knew there was a bigger picture here. 

“That’s it mom.”

You had to tear your eyes away from her, you couldn’t handle the way that she was looking at you, the mix of disappointment, resentment and worry mixed into her blue irises. 

“Bubba, don’t make me search your room, don’t make me have to ground you, don’t make me have to call Jord and get her to turn the car around to help me out.”

You brought your eyes back to Leah’s. 

“That’s it mom, I don’t know what you want me to tell you, I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

You were lying through your teeth and the fact you couldn’t look eye to eye with Leah would have been enough of a warning sign of that. 

“Drugs bubba, that’s what I’m talking about, you’re lying straight to my fucking face right now, I don’t know what about or why but you are.”

You didn’t know what to say, you weren’t going to admit it, you couldn’t, but you needed to say something. Fuck, you were so fucked. 

You tried to spin it in your head, tried to think about how you could make this work out. You were caught, you were done, this was bad. 

Your eyes darted to below your bed, rookie fucking mistake. 

Leah caught your line of sight, and you knew as soon as she did that it was all about to go to fucking shit, that you were done for. 

“Lia.”

Your mom’s voice was urgent, a yell that had the swiss woman bounding up the stairs in a matter of seconds. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

You were so fucking fucked. 

You were frozen in your spot, your mom’s eyes looking at you like she’d just been stabbed in the heart. 

“Bubba, you can get whatever you are hiding from me or I will get Lia to tear this whole room a part, I’m not fucking around.”

You felt torn down the middle, your brain couldn’t think, you felt the same sickness sink in from this morning, instead of it being withdrawals from drugs though it was the realisation that your whole life was about to be turned upside down. 

You tried to think, tried to think about how you could spin this, make it a little bit better than it really was. 

Lia looked more uncomfortable then possible, you wished a blackhole would randomly pop up and swallow all three of you. 

Something hit you, it wasn’t a full resolution but it was better than what you currently had going for you. 

You walked over to your bed, with unsteadier legs then last night when you were so drunk the world was spinning, crouching down when you got to the edge, feeling for the familiar container that held all of your deepest darkest secrets, or at least that’s how it felt. 

It took you back to a time when you’d made Leah check under your bed everynight for the monsters under your bed, now though she was looking for the monsters in your head, the monsters that had turned her little perfect girl into whatever you were now. 

Your hand eventually met the hard plastic, you pulled it out, biting down on the inside of your cheek as you stood up and sat down on the edge of your bed. 

Leah took a couple steps closer to you, standing directly in front of you. 

“Look, it’s not mine, I only did it twice, my friends bought it over, I swear.”

Half of it was true. 

“Open the box, bubba.”

You felt your throat tighten, you felt like you were going to vomit, or pass out, or have a heart attack. 

“Mom, I didn’t want to, I don’t even like it, I just did it because my friends were, I swear.”

It was also another half truth. 

“Bubba, open the box.”

You bit down even harder on the inside of your cheek, reaching for the edge of the plastic box and opening it, revealing the two baggies of white powder inside of it. 

Leah’s face fell, in a way that you’d never seen, you’d seen her disappointed before, this wasn’t it, it was something else entirely and you weren’t sure what. 

“Bubba.”

Your mom was a overly emotional person, you couldn’t handle her crying right now though, you couldn’t do it, you couldn’t deal with her pretending she gave a shit when this was the first time in months that it felt like she cared, and it was all because of Jordan, not on her own volition. 

“I swear mom, I swear, it’s not mine, I promise.”

It wasn’t a lie, it hadn’t started out as yours, you’re friends had left it behind after a weekend hangout and had never asked for it back, so it technically wasn’t yours, technically. 

“Bubba, what is it?”

Leah reached for the box, picking up the two bags, the bags that you felt like held your whole life together. 

“Cocaine, it’s just a little bit of coke, my friends were using it before parties, I didn’t like it, it made me feel dizzy and it hurt my head.”

The cocaine bit was a lie, but the fact you didn’t like cocaine wasn’t, it was the kind of stimulant which put you into over drive, the high lasted no where near as long and it made you feel like you weren’t making sense.

You were hoping she would believe the cocaine, inevitably, cocaine was a pissy drug. Leah would have been at thousands of parties were cocaine was handed around, hell, you were fairly certain your mother had taken plenty of it. Cocaine was less addictive, good cocaine was also stupidly expensive, the value of it was fucked. Meth was cheap but a thousand times more addictive, cocaine was a better like. 

“Lia, get rid of it.”

Your mom handed the bag of joints over to Lia, as well as the bags of drugs, shoving them into her hands like they were burning her hands. “I don’t even know what to say to you bubba.”

Your mom looked genuinely at a loss for words, her eyes kept darting between your eyes and your hands, which were shaking in front of you. 

“Mom, I promise, it was only a one time thing, really, I was just keeping it for my friends.”

As soon as the tears started spilling down Leah’s face you knew it was about to get bad. 

She walked over to your desk, pulling the chair out from it and dragged it across the room until it was directly in front of you, your mother taking a seat. 

Her hands came out to rest on your knees, they were shaking like yours, not as badly but still shaking, though for different reasons you assumed. 

“You told me the weed was a one time thing, that was a lie. I don’t know what to believe anymore, you’ve put me in a impossible situation, bubba. On one hand, I want to believe you. I want to believe the kid I raised, on the other hand you haven’t given me reason to. You broke my trust, you lied to me, you broke the house rules. I don’t ask a lot of you, I let you get away with more than your ma would let you, and I was fine with it because you were showing me you were a good kid, but now I honestly don’t know what to think. You told me it was just the vapes, I thought you were using a little bit to much nicotine and now it turns out that you’re smoking pot and doing drugs. You’ve been hiding and lying and I just don’t get why. Why bubba? Tell me why.”

Big tears were dripping from your mothers eyes, big, wet, fat tears pooling in her icey blue eyes. 

“I don’t know, okay? I’m sorry mom, I’m really sorry. I’m sorry. I love you, I didn’t mean it, it was just some fun, it was a one time thing, I promise.”

Leah pursed her lips, the same way you were, the sleeve of her shirt was pressed to her face, picking up the tears that were dripping down her jaw. 

“I’m going to go and call your ma, this is a discussion we need to be having together, I need her here for this.”

Little did they know how bad it really was. 

Leah stood up, you thought she would just leave, heading back down to make a call to your ma that would inevitably change your life, instead, she sat down next to you, her arms opening up. 

You leaned into her side, letting her wrap both of her arms around you. 

“I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry.”

It was the only thing you could think of saying, the only thing that sounded right coming off the tip of your tongue. 

“I love you so much my beautiful girl, we’ll figure this out, your ma and I, we’re all going to figure this out.”

Leah held onto you for a little bit longer, her arms tightening onto you like you were holding her down to earth, like she would float away if she didn’t. 

Eventually she let go, her face was puffy and red, her sleeves were red and she sounded all sniffly. 

“I’m going to go and phone Jord, we’re going to sort it all out, we’ll figure this out, okay? We’re both here for you, we both love you so much, you’re our little girl.”

You found it weird how easy it slipped off of her tongue, you wondered if she actually believed that she meant it, you wondered if when your mother said it that she meant it without really meaning it. There were words but there were no actions to support those words, just empty syllables and letters all formed together in a intricate lie. 

You watched as Leah limped her way out of your room, her bad leg trailing behind her good one, rule number one of parenting a child you now know is drug addicted, never leave them alone in a room they can escape from when you’ve just confronted them. 

[bucketsofmonsters]

Deep Water - Part 3

cw: the ocean, almost drowning, kidnapping, more tags to be added as the story continues

merman x fem reader

Word count: 5k

read on ao3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

On your first day of work, you were already regretting not pushing harder to get your siren to promise you he would stay away, glimpses of a snaking tail under the water every few hours stopping your heart for a beat every time. 

You ignored your first sighting, reporting into the office, getting a list of duties and of expected intake for the day. 

You asked when you’d be paid, part of you worried he’d say at the end of the month and you’d be stuck without a place to stay for weeks. You let out a sigh of relief when he said at the end of the week. Only two more days then. You could manage two more days. You were sent off on your way without much else said. 

No one was assigned to help you, to figure out what you were supposed to do or how to start, so you did the only thing you could think of. You went and found Finn.

His face lit up the second he saw you, dropping the box he was holding to run over to your side. 

“Hello little lady, how’s your first day going?”

You glanced back at the discarded cargo. “Do you not need to get that?”

“Is this going to take long? Okay, you probably want help, I’ll be right back.”

He rushed over to the dropped box that at the very least didn’t look like it had been damaged and hauled it over to a safer location, amidst some other unpacked boxes. 

He was back at your side before the incredulous huff of laughter managed to escape you, giving you a sheepish look. “Sorry if I’m overeager, we don’t get many pretty girls out here, I’ve gotta try and help you before someone else snatches you up.”

You gave him a humoring laugh, more polite than anything. 

You had a feeling your intentions with one another did not align, but he seemed pleasant and helpful and whatever his intentions happened to be, you could use that right about now. 

And he held true to his word. For the rest of the day, he helped you figure out your various duties, largely abandoning his own, only occasionally popping out to make excuses or run and do something that others laughed and insisted really couldn’t wait. 

The day passed quickly. The work wasn’t particularly hard, just repetitive. Finn did his best to help but once you realized he couldn’t read, it became a little more difficult. 

He still hovered over your shoulder, something that you appreciated but had the unintended consequence of you having to struggle to pull his attention every time you caught another flash of scales out of the corner of your eye. 

They seemed particularly likely to appear whenever Finn set off from his latest task he was ignoring to help you again.

You bristled at the thought, trying to tell yourself you were making up patterns, that it wasn’t anything at all. 

At least you hoped you were. If it was a pattern, you were going to kill him. 

Even once you got the hang of things, Finn refused to actually leave you, insisting that it was improper to abandon you on your first day. You just smiled and continued on, set on getting everything done. First impressions were important after all, and you needed to look just as valuable as your sister had been. 

Before you knew it, the day was over and people had begun filing out. It wasn’t empty, the dock was never really empty, but it had quieted down and you finished the last of your work, marking everything down as neatly and perfectly as you could. 

“I can take that back for you!” Finn exclaimed as you carefully looked over your work for any glaring mistakes. He seemed excited to find something he could actually help you with. 

Part of you wanted to refuse, to take it back yourself, but he seemed too excited, refusing felt like kicking a puppy. Besides, you imagined he’d have a few kind words to say about you and that couldn't hurt. 

He came darting back over in minutes, that persistent, goofy smile plastered across his face as he skidded to a halt. “Mission accomplished, ma’am,” he said with a little salute. 

“Thank you, I really appreciate it,” you said, trying to push as much gratitude as you could into your voice.

“Now that that’s done, I was wondering if you wanted to go out or something. I could get you some drinks or food or whatever, celebrate your first day being over.”

There it was, exactly what you’d worried this had all been leading to. “Finn…”

Water came splashing up through the gaps in the wood on the dock, drenching the pair of you. 

You jumped, reflexively and far too late to save yourself from any of the water. 

As you looked through the slats, you could have sworn you saw the glint of scales. 

“Yes,” you blurted out, bringing Finn’s attention back to you. “That sounds great.”

You gave him what felt like a poor approximation of an excited smile. 

“Really? That’s amazing. The ocean seems to have something to say about it. She’s nervous, poor girl. Promise I won’t leave you behind.” He spoke down to the waves, attempting to lighten the mood as he saw your face go white in your newly wetted skirts. 

You smiled, your heart hammering in your ears, and after another quiet little bit of reassurance, he scurried off, telling you to stay put while he found a coat he’d discarded earlier in the hot sun and promptly forgotten about, and then you could be off.

Simon, you guessed that was what you were calling him now, decided that was an opportune time to breach the surface of the water and look up at you with those big, golden eyes. 

An anger that had been simmering quietly inside of you at every flash of scales you’d seen throughout the day came to a head as he had the audacity to simply appear like this. “Go away,” you hissed, the words coming out louder than you meant them to. 

This wasn’t like the day before. You knew Finn would be back any moment, you didn’t have time to argue on the shore. 

He remained resolutely above the water, looking up at you with a determination that almost frightened you set across his impish features. 

When he opened his mouth, you held your hands out, trying to tell him to stop, that it wasn’t safe. 

And then he started speaking and your hands fell limp to your sides, warning him not seeming quite so important anymore. 

The words sounded different. Maybe he was singing? It was hard to tell. You couldn’t even make out the words, couldn’t understand any of it. All you knew was that he was there. Why were you all the way up here? You should be down there with him. Maybe then you could understand. 

Whatever noises he was making, ones you were too far away to really hear, wormed their way right through your ears into your head, snaking their way around inside you, taking up the space where your thoughts were moments ago. 

There was nothing but him. 

Everything else faded away until all you could see was amber eyes. 

And then, walking carefully and intentionally, you tumbled into the water, seemingly of your own accord. 

The second you hit the icy water, the warm calm you’d been pulled into dissipated. You weren’t sure if it was the shock of the water or your head going under, no longer able to hear the hypnotic noises from the siren you’d thought was harmless. At least to you. 

And what a foolish notion that was. He was a siren. It didn't matter if he'd saved you or not, of course he was dangerous. You weren’t special to him. Why would you be?

As you tried to come up for air his arms met your shoulders and pushed you deeper and you realized, horrifically, just how wrong you’d been. 

You didn’t understand why he did what he’d done, why he’d helped you before. Maybe he’d just been playing with his food, toying with you until he got bored. 

Your mind newly cleared, you fought to swim up. As you did, his tail wound around your legs and you saw a pout break out across his face. 

Panic rose in your chest and he watched, head tilted, examining you carelessly, with your legs still bound together under the water. 

He looked at you, eyes big and bright and expectant, flicking across your face as he tried to fight back a smile. 

You struggled and his hand grasped yours, keeping it in place, effortlessly keeping you under the waves. The bright look in his eyes shifted to confusion, seeming baffled as to why you’d rather breach the surface than steal a kiss from him and let the cold water invade your lungs. 

As he stared expectantly and confused at you, you wiggled just enough to free one leg, something he seemed unconcerned with as he continued to hold you under. He knew he was stronger than you, that you had no real shot of escape. You both did. 

That didn’t matter to you. You brought your knee up as swiftly and firmly as you could in the cold water that forced a horrible, sluggish feeling into your limbs, and kneed him right in his gills. 

That seemed to activate some instinct in him and he wrapped entirely around you, effortlessly countering you at every point of struggle. They were the movements of a practiced hunter. 

You kicked and fought and made every attempt to break away and breach the surface but he was too strong, too practiced at this. At holding people down. 

You wondered how you matched up to them, how hard you fought compared to his other prey, if he’d remember this at all once you were gone?

At some point in the struggle you must have kissed, in the loosest sense of the word. You missed it in the flurry of movement, just another brush of skin against skin in the struggle. It must have happened though because as your lungs burned just a bit too much and your brain forced you to inhale, you didn’t choke on water but instead felt the burning soothe and your instincts calm, despite the salt water flooding inside you. 

Regardless of your newfound ability to breathe, the fight and lack of oxygen had weakened you and your struggle slowed. 

As it did, he rose to the surface

When you breached the waves, the dock was nowhere in sight. You had no idea when in your fight he’d dragged you out to sea or how far you’d gone. 

“You can breathe,” he said, looking at you with that same quiet confusion as when you’d fought against him. “I made sure you could breathe. Why do you still worry?”

You inhaled in an attempt to answer him with a screamed admonishment and then, before a word could escape you, you were coughing up water

He sat patiently as you did, his arms wrapped carefully around you. 

The last time you’d coughed up water like this, you’d been too relieved to be alive to really notice it. You did not have that luxury this time. The saltwater burned coming up, your lungs feeling heavy in your chest as the water poured out of you. 

It felt like you were dying. You didn’t understand how you weren’t. 

He didn’t seem concerned, just holding you as you fought to empty your lungs so you could finally inhale, every attempted inhalation just stirred the churning water in your lungs, agitating them further. 

As you finally emptied your lungs, you sucked in air. Your chest filled and it hurt more than it brought you relief. 

“You have to take me back,” you forced out, the burning in your lungs exhausting you past the point of screaming at him. 

His lips pursed into a pout and his eyes darted away from yours. “You don’t even like it there,” he said, sounding openly disappointed, not even attempting to hide it. But then, why would he? You were at his mercy, he could do whatever he wanted to. 

“I like it better than I like it here,” you said, gesturing around you at the open ocean. 

He looked around at the ocean surrounding you and then returned his gaze intently to your face. “I can take you somewhere else.”

“You know that’s not what I mean, you’d better not…”

And then he was off, swimming quickly through the waves. 

He kept your head above water carefully, although you still had to keep your mouth firmly shut to avoid inhaling anything, but even that didn’t slow him down. 

And then, with no warning, you were going down, back through thick water. You didn’t have a chance to gather your bearing before it was too dark to see anything, Simon’s grip on your arm was the only thing cutting through the cold black abyss around you. 

Your arm brushed against hard rock, scraping painfully before it was gone and you found yourself disoriented in the space around you once more. You could be surrounded by rock for all you knew, inches away from it. There was no way to tell, no way to really know anything about where you were being dragged. 

Your fight renewed as your air began to run out and the darkness still imposed itself around you. You knew better, knew you couldn’t get away. Even if you did, you didn’t even know which direction was up anymore. Your instincts, however, were not so easily suppressed by silly things like facts. 

You couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to kill you. Even more than that, as your time under the water dragged on, why he was going to kill you? Maybe you’d upset him, made an unforgivable mistake when you kicked him or complained just a little too much. The way it looked now, you guessed you’d never know. You didn’t have the oxygen left to figure it out, your brain starting to get foggy. 

And still, it continued. He dragged you down and down and then your head breached the surface and as you gasped in air, the word flipped right side up once more. 

You dragged air into your pleading lungs, this time no wretched water biting your throat as you did. 

Your lungs still hurt though. A quieter ache. 

Your eyes adjusted slowly to the dark and you could barely make him out in what appeared to be a cave, the moon shining in through a few holes riddled in the rock above you. 

“You could’ve killed me,” you said, desperation creeping into your voice. 

His head tilted. “No. I know how long it takes a human to drown. You were fine.”

His words did nothing to settle your unease

“Is this better?” he asked, gesturing around to the cave you’d approached from beneath. 

The water was just a small pool in a larger cave, leading off a few feet before revealing a glimpse of the outside world through the holes that let the light in. 

You hauled yourself out of the water to look and saw that there was no other way out, only the horrible, dark path through the water he’d taken you through. 

You couldn’t get out of here on your own. 

Even if you could, you had nowhere to go. There was probably just more open water outside these walls. Even if there was land, you had no idea where you were. 

You wondered if Finn was worried about you yet. Maybe he was. Or maybe he thought you’d abandoned him, left him alone on the dock in lieu of having to go out to dinner with him. 

You weren’t sure which you were hoping for, which was better for him to believe. Which would be easier to explain when you returned? If you returned. 

“You need to take me back,” you said, trying to force some authority into your tone. 

“Can I ask you some questions about humans?” he asked, completely ignoring you. 

“No,” you snapped. “You can’t. You can take me back.”

He drifted towards you and you pulled back further onto the patch of dry land. 

That seemed to hurt him, like he couldn’t understand why you would possibly be wary of him. 

He rested his head on the rocky shore, looking defeated, slowly drying blonde hair curling up around his eyes as it was freed of some of the weight of the water, and you fought to not think that if he hadn’t just done what he did to you, maybe he’d look sweet. 

“Who was that?” he blurted out, his head lifting with his words as his jaw moved against the stone below him. 

“What?”

“On the dock. He was talking to you, you were leaving with him. Who was that?”

“Who, Finn? Why do you-” A thought began to dawn on you. “His name is Finn. You hang around the dock, do you not know him?”

He shrugged in the water. “I’ve seen him.”

“And you care now? That’s kind of sudden.”

“I guess.”

“Alright. Did you kidn- Did you take me so I wouldn’t go with him.” You did your best to keep your voice measured in an attempt to get an honest response from him. 

“You’re supposed to go to the beach. You weren’t going to the beach.”

“No, you rejected my deal, remember? I thought I wasn’t going to the beach because you were just hanging around.”

He rolled his eyes just barely, enough to make a quiet irritation stir in your stomach. “Can’t talk to you when I’m around,” he said, matter of factly. “You said you’d go to the beach.”

“I know, but something came up. I’d have come back. I can’t miss one day?” you said, trying to reason with him. 

“One day? It was the first day!” he said with a huff. 

“I hadn’t even left yet, how did you know I wasn’t going to go meet you.”

“Were you?” he asked, and you didn’t have a good answer for him. 

“We’ll never know, will we? Because you decided to kidnap and almost drown me.”

“I didn’t almost drown you. I would never drown you.”

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. “Alright, well at the very least you decided to hurt me.” Sharp words bounced off the stone walls of the cave. 

His eyes widened. “I hurt you?”

“Yeah, of course you did. I couldn’t breathe. And that’s beside how bad coughing up sea water hurts.”

He shook his head. “You’re fine, why would it hurt?”

“Simon,” you said, “It hurts humans when we can’t breathe. And we aren’t meant to have to breathe water, it burns when I have to get it out.”

For someone who presumably had drowned dozens of humans, he seemed to have little idea how drowning actually felt. To be fair, he probably didn’t have many chances to learn about the human side of the experience, you didn’t imagine many survived long enough to tell him about it. 

“Oh,” he said, deflating a little. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Right, just to kidnap me.”

He nodded with no air of shame regarding his actions. “Yeah.”

You settled back against the wall of rock behind you, trying to think of what else you could say to get yourself out of there. 

He looked up at you and suddenly he seemed unbearably nervous. “You want to leave.”

“I thought we discussed this, I have to leave. I can’t just disappear, there are people waiting for me.”

“Finn,” he asked, saying the name like it tasted rotten in his mouth. 

“Yes, Finn. I told you, I can’t just disappear.”

You had to lean closer to him to hear his next words at all, his voice unbearably quiet. “It’ll hurt you.”

You slid back into the water beside him, hope sparking through you. “I’ll be fine, I just want to get out of here.”

His hands snaked around your sides, pulling you close to him. “Do you want to hold your breath or breathe the water?” You could feel his breath on your skin as he spoke. You didn’t understand how breathing worked for him, where his lungs ended and his gills began. 

You shivered as you thought back to retching up the water, how it had burned coming up, how the attempted gasps felt inside already heavy lungs. “I’ll hold my breath.”

He nodded solemnly. “I will be fast.”

You sucked in a breath before he pulled you down, a luxury you had not been granted last time. 

He was true to his words. You could feel the water rushing past you as you held your breath, clinging to him the whole way. 

When you breached the surface, your lungs didn’t hurt quite as much as they had the first time around. His grip on you was tighter than when you’d arrived, a fear present in him that wasn’t before. 

Your hands were wrapped around his neck, the desire to get yourself away from him gone now that you were fairly certain he’d bring you back, even if he wasn’t happy about it. 

He brought you to the shore, a familiar spot.

Something occurred to you as you found yourself in shallow water. “How’d you even know where to take me? When you first found me, you took me right here.”

“I know where the ships are going. Always to the same spot.” He sounded almost annoyed at the ships’ predictability. 

“Well, they have to go to a dock.”

He grumbled in response, his discontent evident. You weren’t sure how much of it was from this grudge against ships and how much was because he’d had to bring you back to shore.  

You pulled yourself out of the water and wanted just sit there for a while, regain some of your energy. 

The second you hit dry land, Simon was gone, disappearing before you could say so much as another word to him. 

You didn’t really have time to talk or rest anyway, running back onto the dock as quickly as you could, hoping Finn hadn’t left yet. 

You found him standing alone on the dock, looking dejected right until his eyes drifted towards you. His eyes widened as they met yours and his expression shifted from surprise to concern, rushing towards you. 

“What happened?” he asked, pulling the jacket he’d run off to retrieve over your shoulders. “I thought you’d gotten bored and abandoned me but a swim at this time of day hardly seems like a good idea.”

“I fell in. Guess I’m more tired than I thought,” you said with a sheepish smile, hoping it was anything close to convincing. 

His hand drifted up to push wet hair away from your face. “I’m sure you’re not feeling up to going out anymore…”

“No,” you said, not thinking of Finn at all but instead set on rebelling against the attempts to stop you from going. It wasn’t fair to Finn, but by the time that occurred to you, you’d already spoken. “I mean, you waited all this time for me, it would be rude not to go.”

He seemed too excited to notice how suspicious you were being. “Alright, but make sure you’re not overextending yourself.”

You nodded with an unenthusiastic smile and let him lead you off to a tavern somewhere. 

It was a largely uneventful evening, all things considered. He bought you some soup, something nice and hot that you could feel in your bones, creating a comfortable warmth in your core. 

Your reticence to talk was barely noticed. Finn seemed more than happy to fill the silence, letting you bundle up under the thick wool of his coat and focus on your food. 

Before you knew it, it was gone and there was nothing left to distract yourself with. 

You waited for Finn to finish whatever story he’d been telling that you hadn’t been listening to and said, “This has been lovely, but I should be getting back.”

He laughed. “What, back to work? I’m not that boring, am I?”

You started as he pulled you fully out of your head back into the tavern. “What? No, of course not.”

“So where are you staying then?” he asked.

You shrugged. “Nowhere. I’ll find an inn after I get paid but until then-”

“You could stay with me!” he blurted out before you even had the chance to finish your sentence. 

You weren’t quite as enthused. “Look, Finn, I don’t…”

“This isn’t me trying to come onto you, honest. You shouldn’t have to stay out in the cold, it’s not right. I mean, no wonder you're tired. If you don’t get some proper sleep you’ll drown, and then who am I supposed to try and impress every day?”

It was most certainly untoward, but the offer was tempting nonetheless. 

You reevaluated Finn, trying to determine how much you really trusted him. Enough for dinner, sure, but enough for this?

You thought about spending another night alone on the cold shore and decided that yes, you did trust him enough for this. 

As soon as you nodded your assent, he grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the stairs in the tavern. 

You couldn’t help but think that taking you to the tavern he was staying at felt presumptuous but the allure of a warm room and blankets were too strong for you to say anything to that effect. 

His room was decently sized, with a large bed pressed against the back wall. Reassuringly, he started to set up a space on the floor for you, moving some blankets from a chair in the corner to the floor. 

To your chagrin, he began to settle into the nest of blankets on the ground and you immediately moved to set it right. 

“Absolutely not, you will not sleep on the floor in your own room.”

He looked up at you with big, sad eyes. “But-”

“No buts, I will leave.”

He sighed. “Fine. But know that I’m not happy about it.”

You settled onto the floor and he slid another blanket off the bed onto you. You accepted it without argument, allowing him this at least. Besides, you were in no state to be turning down blankets. 

It was late and the blankets helped against your still damp form. The calm itself was refreshing and you fought the urge to thank Finn, who seemed like he’d already drifted off to sleep since you’d begun to settle down. 

You had no choice but to try and follow him. 

You slept restlessly but at least you slept.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 41, part two

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)  (whole thing on AO3)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Nie Mingjue and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

Empathy continues, jumping to Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue's encounter in Nightless City. Once again, let's look at how we saw it the first time around.

In Episode 22, Nie Mingjue unwisely decided to do a stealth advance push on Nightless City, as if "stealth" and "Nie Mingjue" ever belonged in a sentence together. After his inevitable capture, Meng Yao rocks up and says hey.

We cut away to the battle outside and then come back inside where NMJ hits MY with a palm strike.

Meng Yao actually expresses anger for once, knocking NMJ over with a kick, and yelling at him for being rude in front of MY's new boss, Wen Ruohan.

NMJ comes after him again but Wen Ruohan gets involved and the fight turns into NMJ vs. WRH until Nie Mingjue is knocked out. He ends up on the floor surrounded by dead or unconscious Nie cultivators; we don't see, at this time, how they got that way.

(More behind the cut!)

In Episode 41: the encounter in front of Wen Ruohan starts the same way, but Meng Yao taunts Nie Mingjue, fondles his shoulder, and then kills a couple of his wingmen.

Meng Yao--Wen Yao?--has never looked better. He's still rocking Nie braids and Nie colors - with a nice snake pattern trimming his robe. I'd like to say this is evidence of his snakey nature, but the idea that snakes are bad and sneaky is a biblical concept, not a Chinese one.

Anyway the important thing about his look here is that his makeup is gorgeous and his demeanor is totally confident. Unfortunately I can't find the tumblr post that talks about his sassy ex-boyfriend energy in this scene, but it was a wise observation.

Nie Mingjue's sidekicks provoke Meng Yao into killing them - one by insulting the hall they're in, and the next by calling him 走狗-- literally "running dog," but Viki translates it as "lackey."

"Lackey" is a little insulting but it's basically a job description, whereas Meng Yao's reaction to being called "running dog" is more like the way people react to being called "boot licker" in English. I'm not saying it should be translated this way, however - feet have a whole lot of meanings across cultures. I think it could have just been translated "running dog" because by 41 episodes into this show, we have learned that calling someone a dog is rude and insulting, thank you Wen Chao.

Anyhoo, after Meng Yao kills the second dude he asks if anyone else wants to call him 走狗, and Nie Mingjue immediately does. Meng Yao just smiles and has his own lackeys bring Baxia, in a fancy box, to him.

Then he fondles the blade while explaining that he's been spending some quality time with it. Nie Mingjue watches helplessly, unwilling to beg but afraid of whatever's going to happen.

Meng Yao tells him that his Dad's sword was better than his, and asks him to guess how many times WRH will have to strike Baxia to break it. I'm saying "strike," but Viki translates it as "smack" and Netflix translates it as "spank," with questionable results. How many times WILL Wen Ruohan spank it, I wonder?

Meng Yao taunts him some more: Wen Ruohan broke NMJ's father's saber and sent it back to him, which caused him to die of anger. He says this while getting up in NMJ's space and putting on an expression of ecstacy.

NMJ hits him, since that's his solution to everything; Meng Yao gets mad and kicks Nie Mingjue to the floor. It's not clear to me why Meng Yao talks so much shit if he doesn't want to get hit.

Aftermath

The confrontation where Xichen protects Meng Yao is the same as episode 23, up to a point. Nie Mingjue wakes up in Lan Xichen's manly arms and has a moment of happiness before seeing Meng Yao standing by holding Baxia.

NMJ goes to attack him but Lan Xichen protects Meng Yao and explains his whole spying gig -- calling him A-Yao, which has gotta chap Nie Mingjue's ass.

Lan Xichen can block a blow from Baxia one-handed. Hot.

There's a nice parallel here, where Meng Yao uses Lan Xichen as a human shield, similar to Wei Wuxian using Lan Wangji to protect him from Fairy in Episode 34.

Wei Wuxian is, of course, way more handsy about it.

Meng Yao passive-aggressively tells Lan Xichen that he didn't explain his actions because that big meanie Nie Mingjue wouldn't have believed him anyway, and then he kneels in front of Nie Mingjue. That's as much as we got of that whole encounter, in Episode 23.

In Episode 41, after Meng Yao kneels, he explains his situation and said that he only said all that dickish stuff to Nie Mingjue to gain Wen Ruohan's trust, and he's sorry about hurting his feelings.

Nie Mingjue says how about you kneel to those dudes you killed.

Lan Xichen tells Nie Mingjue that yes, A-Yao did horrible things, but I believe that in his heart he… we don't hear the rest because Nie Mingjue interrupts by destroying a lantern, but we don't need to hear the rest because it's the same thing Lan Xichen says all the fucking time; it's become his core belief in the years since.

Meng Yao is surprised that it's the lantern that died and not him, but Nie Mingjue is in an impossible situation. Meng Yao has recruited Xichen so completely to his side that if Nie Mingjue wants to stay friends with LXC, he has to accept Meng Yao . You can see in his face that he knows he's beat.

Continued in part 3!

[teojira]

I hope it's not too much to ask... do you have any head cannons about Bigby dating neurodivergent reader?

[Bigby Wolf with Neurodivergent!reader]

Summary: Bigby trying his damndest to be a good s/o

Warnings: Bigby trying his best, you're a mundy in this!

A/N: Cracks my fingers, it's been fucking ages since someone has asked me about Bigby. I hope these are okay! I miss this man so much. Incurable brainrot he gave me for the last 10 years.

I am not confident in these but I tried, thank you for requesting!

Bigby is rough around the edges, he's not gonna be the best person to comfort you or say the rights things. He's gonna fuck up, and he's gonna feel like shit about it.

You're gonna have to be understanding that this'll probably his first genuine relationship with a mundy, and while the fables use glimmer to pretend to be humans, they're not.

He doesn't get it, neurodivergentcy is not a common topic in fables lives, he will learn for you.

Bighy tries his best though, the second you tell him you're beginning to feel overstimulated, he'll make room and take you away from it.

He's overprotective, almost to an annoying degree but he can't help it. He's not gonna ease off, and he thinks he can handle everything on his shoulders that gets thrown at him.

You gotta tell him that yes, while you may be different and have some issues that fables don't frequently deal with, you're not a child.

Depending on what you struggle with more, he tries to fill in the gaps.

Struggle with time management? He'll be the one to try and remember for you, or telling you to keep track of the alarms on your phone when he isn't around.

Issues with anxiety? He'll force you to lay down with him, sitting in his shitty chair with you on his lap. He'll give you the run down of his day, letting you ask any and as many questions as you want until whatever that's scaring you is gone.

"I'm just, so scared to go in-"

"Do you want me to go?"

"I couldn't ask you to do that."

"So what I hear is that I'm going with you."

There are no real off days for the man, but he does his best to follow you around like a guard dog when he's technically off duty.

He realizes it could be seen as codependent but you're his partner, the primal urge to protect you is strong and it will damn near overweight whatever else has has going on.

Mood swings that deal with anger? He knows all about that, he'll let you scream and cry as much as you want, hell he'd let you hit him if you wanted, he lets you work through your issues on him and just holds you after.

Struggle with the hustle and bustle of the city? He keeps you far away from just about everyone, he's not well liked and he's sure if they spot you, they'll give you a hard time. So he'll probably be the one visiting you on your side of town more often than not.

Takes into consideration that the cigarettes he smokes can be a sensory overload, so he tries to limit it to when he's away from you.

At first he tried to push back on it, saying that it's just smoke but when you put your foot down and say it makes you sick, he starts to wean off of them.

Always tells you you're not a bother, that he would never mind comforting you nor does he hate that he's your safe person.

It makes him feel like he's actually important, that he has a job that actually means something.

He deals with bullshit day in and day out, but at least he has you and you have him.

[nerdygoth77]

Some of my favorite Porter Gage lines!

“Keep your irradiated ASS away from me” 

“Boss”  

“Piss me off and I’ll still kick your ass from here to the Atlantic.” 

“Sure was fun! Huh Boss?” 

“I ain’t got the brains for mazes” 

“How's it go? “This town ain't big enough for you and me?” Awh nevermind :(“ 

“Ain't no way people paid for this shit, I refuse to believe it.” 

“Who the hell's idea of fun was this shit?”

“Ever feel the tiniest bit hurt that the institute hasn’t tried to replace you with a synth? I mean c’mon! I’m important. I-I’m worth replacing......” 

“Think about it…. If beer is still good after two hundred years.. Is it really something worth drinking?” 

“Personally, wouldn’t ever trust anyone to knock me out with gas or whatever, even if they claimed they were going to help.” 

“Can you imagine… having so much extra shit you’d need someplace to store it all” 

“Not paying ATTENTION-” (I fuck up a lot and trigger traps LOL)

“Not a big fan of being underground, so the sooner we wrap this up the better.” 

“Once upon a time, I suppose folks had nothing better to do than sit around outside”

“Greeaaat, because I ain’t seen enough trees and grass.” 

“Like I hadn’t already seen enough glowing shit to last a lifetime.” 

“Believe it or not, this is more civilized than some places i've lived”

"One of these bugs ever takes me down you tell people I died from trippin’ over my gun, fallin’ off a cliff, anything! It would be less embarrassing.” 

“Places like this….Makes me realize life was mostly shit before the bombs fell” 

“God…. Being in here is soul sucking.” 

“I hope you know where you’re going, I forgot my map.” 

“Least we ain't gotta worry about being hit by a train…..Right?”

“No question that shit was made to last…Maybe the wrong shit but still.”

“Me? I like night time. Something about it just feels right.” 

“You’re a real stunner, ya know that?”

“Are you shittin’ me” 

“Ever seen a dust angel? Bettin’ I could make one.” 

“Shiiiiitt I hate getting weeettt” 

“I’ve got a strong stomach, but ewwugh.” 

“You’re my kind of crazy boss.” 

“Boy do I love watching you work.” 

“Anyone ever tell you….your ass looks great in that vault suit.” 

“Don’t know about you, but I can’t see in the dark.” 

“You’ll always be the overboss of my heart- Hehehehe I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t keep a straight face.”

“Blamo” 

“Sheeeeeettt” 

“Don't mind me, just throwing up a bit in my mouth here.” 

“Damn, I hate insects. Like I needed something else to wipe off my fucking shoes” 

“VerMIN”

Everything. Just everything he says is wonderful. His voice is so fucking sexy.

"I'm not that big of a dick"

"Bullshit. Without me I'd be scraping your guts off the floor"

"Before you start pissing all over the plan, why don't you take a minute to hear me out."

"You ready to listen?"

"You're one ruthless son of a bitch aren't ya?"

"Awwwhh C'mon :("

"Just give this a chance, you might even have a little fun."

"Tell yuh whut."

"Everything all peachy with our friendly neighborhood psychopaths?"

"Welcome home, boss."

"I knew you had it in you."

"Next, the fun stuff."

"You look like shit."

He refers to getting high as "Getting blitz." LOL

"Well that oughta make things more interesting"

"hehehe OOPS."

"The fun we can have in this thing!"

"That one have pictures in it?"

"I like a good haul as much as the next guy-"

"You sure you got everything? There's a few more rocks you haven't picked up."

"I never had the hands for that kind of shit. Glad you do."

"You got some nimble fingers there huh?"

"You okay?" (When he shows concern?? UGH)

"Well now, would you look at that."

"Oh for the love of-"

"You gonna build me something nice?"

"Lookin good, Boss."

"oooh, gutsy."

"Pretty tough mutt you got there." (Any dialogue about Dogmeat is great)

"Aww, look at how nice and clean this is, and I here am, dirtying the place up." (one of my favorites)

There's so so many more but I didn't want this to get crazy long

[meowzfordayz]

NSFW Alphabet — Uzui Tengen

Author’s Note: for my own sanity, only some of these headcanons include Hina, Makio, and Suma. 😆 As w/ all hcs, these are simply my opinions in this exact moment of writing, and are subject to change depending on the context/my mood! 😉

NSFW Alphabet — Uzui Tengen

Uzui Tengen x Reader

Word Count: ~3,100

CW: 18+NSFW, ass!play, cream!pie, degrading language, explicit language, Fem!Reader, oral, public

MILESTONE 20.0

~faqs~

Aftercare? what they’re like after sex

Tengen’s aftercare can be… overwhelming. 🤭 Water and cuddles are appreciated, but do you really need a three course meal? An entire change of bedsheets? A steamy bath complete with petals and/or bath salts? A full body rubdown? Occasionally, the answer is YES! 😌 But oftentimes, the answer is: “Tengen, I’m not going to make it through the appetizer, let alone whatever else you’re planning.” 😴 Because as grateful as you are to be thoroughly pampered and cherished, sometimes the best aftercare is simply a quick rinse followed by promptly passing out.

Body Part? their favorite body part(s)

Tengen’s obsessed with your tits. 🤤😍 I mean, have you seen Hina, Makio, and Suma?! *cue that “You six are the most important things to me.” “Six? But Lord Tengen, there are only three of us.” “I said what I said.” meme* 😂 Sensitivity matters more to him than size or shape; if he can’t elicit a soft gasp from brushing his fingertips across your nipples, then what’s the point? ☹️ He’d be your personal bra if you’d let him, glued to your back 24/7, hands cupping your tits. If you have smaller tits: “But Tengen, they’re not even that big. I don’t need a bra!” “Okaaay, but I come with heating and massaging services! 🥺” If you have larger tits: “Honey, do you need help? ☺️” “Help? 🤨” “If they’re too heavy, I happen to know a strong man who can ease your burdens.” *cue Tengen winking exaggeratedly at your tits*

Tengen’s arms and thighs are to die for. He can hold you up against a wall, biceps flexing as your nails dig into his skin, cock thrusting steady and deep into your pussy, hardly out of breath, until you’re whimpering T-too much, g-gonna cum a-again. He can also keep you in place while you grind your clit against his thigh, forearms toned and unyielding as you melt into his chest, whining as you near your orgasm, unable to rest under his gentle, unforgiving guidance. “Mm, such a pretty thing, getting off on my thigh,” squeezing your waist in warning as you try to slow down, “What a pathetic whore, so anxious to cum the moment she sits on my lap,” grinning smugly as your body shudders, “There’s no stopping now, babygirl’s gotta finish what she starts, gotta make a mess on my thigh, then, maybe, I’ll let you go.” If you really think he’s letting you go after slipping your panties aside to feel your wetness seep through his pants, casually lifting you—with one arm, of course—just enough to fuck rough fingers into your clenched heat… think again. 😃

Cum?

Tengen prefers cumming in your pussy or on your ass. When he’s feeling intimate, finishing in your pussy feels like the ideal ending; it’s heavenly, sexy, and the perfect amount of lewd when you spread your folds so he can watch himself drip out of your stretched hole. If he’s feeling dominant, cumming on your ass satisfies his urge to claim and mark you in a more degrading manner; “My filthy fucking bitch,” as his cum coats your asshole, dribbling down the backs of your thighs, making a mess of the sheets below, “Wearing my cum so beautifully, what a slut.”

Dirty Talk?

Uzui Tengen aka King of Dirty Talk™️. Mind you, King™️ doesn’t mean everything he murmurs into your ear is mouthwatering, panty dropping, orgasm inducing, but it does mean he talks. A lot. Constantly. “You close to cumming? Close to squeezing the life out of my cock? Can’t wait to die by your pussy, mmm, yes darling, kill me.’ … … … 💀 To be fair, 9 out of 10 times he says something that’s actually pleasurable. 😆 “You hear that babydoll? The sound of your greedy pussy squelching around my cock? Look down gorgeous, look at how well you take me. Look and listen, tell me what you think, hm?” Spoiler alert: there’s no way you’re telling him what you think, because fucking you speechless happens to be his specialty.

Experience? their level of experience

Factoring in Hina, Makio, and Suma, Tengen’s quite experienced. They don’t have foursomes too often (coordinating four schedules is a nightmare lmao), which actually benefits his sexual familiarity and comfortability, because 1-on-1 with three different women means plenty of consistent variety and opportunities to experiment/learn/grow. Toss you into the mix (they’re all very happy to get to love and be loved by you 🥰), and fivesomes are even rarer than the elusive foursome. Omitting Hina, Makio, and Suma? Tengen’s still experienced, but sexual experience doesn’t necessarily equate to emotional or romantic maturity. Does he know how to bring his sexual partners to world shattering climax? Yeah. Does he know how to nurture intimacy and depth beyond carnality? ~Eventually! He isn’t inherently closed off to the idea or concept of closeness — he just needs the right person (you, heh) to feel like taking that next step is worth his time, energy, and investment.

Foreplay?

Tengen LOVES foreplay, but he also LOVES penetrative sex, so it’s a perpetual, inner debate for him. 😖 Does he bask in the glory of you giving him head while he’s gaming with Kyojuro and Sanemi, or does he go afk (away from keyboard) to bend you over the bed and fuck you between rounds? 🤓 On that note, he prefers receiving, primarily because it’s easier for you to randomly suck his dick than it is for him to randomly perform cunnilingus. 11/10 has calender anniversary reminders for all the various places you’ve blown him i.e. 1/27 Bar Bathroom Blowjob 🍻; 4/19 Changing Room Blowjob 👕; 10/31 Halloween Party Blowjob 🎃. Besides blowjobs and cunnilingus, he’s a sorry sap for making out (when he supports the back of your head/neck and kisses you deeply UNF) and pinching your nipples until you’re begging him to play nice.

Goofy? their sense of humor

Ever seen movie/tv show bloopers where actors laugh while trying to film a serious/sad/etc scene? That’s Tengen during sex. He isn’t consciously silly, but his intensity/somewhat domineering attitude occasionally misses the mark. To his credit, he’s generally aware of your mood and what the ~vibe is, but sometimes all he wants to do is spank you—”Can you be good for me? Can you count? From one to ten, can you count out your punishment?”—and all you end up doing is giggling and sassing off: “Can I count from one to ten? Why, yes, yes I can!!!!!” *cue unstifled laughter* 🤪

Hair? pubes maintenance

Short of zero maintenance, Tengen has next to no preference about his pubic hair. If you want him clean shaven? He’ll do his best (shaving his balls only scares him ~a tad). If you appreciate ~some hair? He’ll literally have you sit on the bathtub beside him while he grooms, and rely on you to tell him when to stop. And if you also have next to no preference? He falls into a monthly trim routine.

Intimacy? their degree of intimacy

Sex with Tengen tends to lack toe curling intimacy. Your toes will certainly curl for other reasons, but he isn’t really a stare-into-my-eyes-as-I-whisper-sweet-nothings lover; he’s a, “Look at me while I fuck your pretty cunt,” firm thumb lifting up your chin, “I said look at me,” fucker. If you ask for more intimate sex, then he’ll certainly try his best, but all it takes is a few clenches of your walls around his cock—your eyes rolling backward, soft whine pushed from your chest, as he buries himself balls deep—for him to dissolve into his usual demanding demeanor.

Jack Off? masturbation

Including Hina, Makio, and Suma, he hardly ever masturbates. Sex isn’t a given—he doesn’t take anyone for granted, nor assume that someone’ll be available whenever he’s horny—but he doesn’t want any of you to feel rejected or neglected either. It’s a careful balance between respecting his right to privacy and personal time, as well as him not constantly declining sex because, “Oops, I already masturbated today.” Excluding Hina, Makio, and Suma, he tends to masturbate/initiate sex more days a week than not. If you aren’t in the mood, then he still checks in that you’re alright with him satisfying his needs alone, because again: he cares more about you feeling desired and taken care of than he cares about immediately fulfilling his sexual urges. He’s less so asking permission to masturbate, and more so ensuring nobody feels left out.

Kink? ~specific turn ons

Tengen enjoys shibari, but only when there’s enough time for it to be artistic and sexual. Bondage satisfies him too, but there’s a distinct difference between tying your wrists and ankles to four corners of a bed versus having you kneel and move in front of him as he creates fluid, silky knots and patterns across your body. Both forms involve you trusting him to a degree that riles and soothes his desires to control and protect you, just as both forms typically end with him cumming in your pussy, hands clutching your hips as he trembles, feeling his slick squelch out from the fullness of his cock inside you, balls soon sticky and messy. However, shibari is more meditative and collaborative—a mutual dance—whereas bondage leans toward leading and following—precisely choreographed (and he’s the choreographer). P.S. He’s definitely the type to own a sex swing. 😵‍💫

Location? where they prefer to have sex

When it comes to penetrative sex, Tengen prefers the bedroom (or living room) — nothing like knowing there’re solid walls to hold and fuck you against, as well as a soft and comfy bed (or couch) for less effortful/more creative positions — the bed/couch provides cushioning for potential falling/mishaps when trying something new. But oral sex? Tengen’s happy to receive a blowjob practically anywhere, anytime (so long as you’re comfortable). He’d much prefer he be caught with his pants down than you, and has likely had to laugh off one or two ~interruptions. 😅

Motivation? ~general turn ons

Modeling clothing and sleeping in his shirts! 😍 You could model a winter coat and snow pants, and Tengen would still be eager to “find” your breasts beneath the thick layers of polyester and fleece, as well as squeeze your now thoroughly padded ass. 🤪 And if you model lingerie, swimwear, or anything remotely revealing? He’s 100% chugging water and fanning himself, legs parting as he not so subtly grabs his crotch, “I think we need to do a sit test before you buy those,” while patting his thigh. Are some of his reactions exaggerated? Yeah. 😂 But does he do it all to hype you up and because he’s attracted to you? Also yeah. ☺️ On a different note, wear his clothing, and he’ll immediately offer to let you keep it for forever. “Wearing my shirt?” he grins slyly. “Mhm.” “Keep it,” he declares. Eyebrows raising, you tilt your head, “What?” “I just want you to have sweet dreams!” he winks. “And wearing your shirt…” “Will obviously grant you sweet dreams.” “Surrre,” you drawl, arms crossing amusedly. “Aaand you’re absolutely gorgeous.”

No? turn offs

Unless it’s with his cock, Tengen isn’t huge on breathplay. Light choking? Sure, if you ask nicely. But more serious breathplay? He’s just a little too informed about the dangers of cutting your brain off from oxygen to properly enjoy it. 😕

Oral? giver or receiver

Tengen prefers receiving oral sex, mostly because he can’t get over how stunning you look with his cock in your mouth. As beautiful as you look—and feel—cumming while his tongue flicks rapidly at your clit, it just isn’t the same from between your thighs; your head tilts backward, pretty eyes disappearing from view, legs suffocating him and his view. But you, tracing the tip of his cock with your glistening tongue, one hand shoved between your legs, the other clutching his thigh, struggling to balance bringing yourself to orgasm and coaxing shudders from him? That is a sight he’ll never tire of.

Position? their favorite position(s)

For cumming in your pussy, Tengen adores having you on top. Make no mistake—he’s happy and able to do most of the work (grabbing your hips and thrusting upward into your cunt)—there’s just no better way to watch your tits bounce. Make him suck on your fingers before playing with your nipples, and he’s liable to cum much sooner than anticipated. For cumming on your ass, Tengen doesn’t really care what position you’re in; he’s focused on chasing his orgasm and keeping his thrusts as hard and precise as possible. If you’re on your back, then he’ll simply flip you over when he needs to cum, impatiently waiting to paint a lil heart on your ass with his cum (he cums first, and then uses it as ~paint — his swollen tip’s the paintbrush). 

Quickie? a fan or not-a-fan

Tengen isn’t the hugest fan of quickies. He considers sex a privilege, an indulgence, an experience, and rushing it means less time to reach its potential. That being said, if he’s in the mood and there’s only time for a quickie, then he won’t hold off— he has the stamina to chase immediate gratification and enjoy his time (with you) ~later too. 😌

Risk? their risk tolerance

Despite his flashy persona, Tengen would rather partake in safe, “tame” sex than put his partner(s) at risk of bodily/emotional harm. Regarding himself, he’s less reserved. In other words, if someone’s going to be caught with their pants down, then he’d prefer it be himself than his partner(s). Even if you tell him, “Getting caught sucking someone’s dick can still be as embarrassing as getting caught having your dick sucked!” he’s unlikely to acknowledge his double standard — you’d really have to push to be the one undressing in a ~risky situation.

Stamina?

Tengen can go for hours, primarily because he can stave off cumming for hours. Sometimes you have to beg him to cum, as in, beg for him to cum, because your pussy’s swollen and sore and the copious amounts of lube aren’t enough anymore. “Tengen, please,” you whimper, mouthing weakly at his neck, body folded sweaty and exhausted atop his chest. “What is it?” he murmurs, only slightly breathless, slow thrusts continuing as he kneads your ass, “Please what?” “Please cum,” you groan, folds stinging from the relentless friction, “I swear if you don’t cum soon-” Smirking, he rocks his hips sharply upward, eyes closing as he drawls, “Then what?” “Then you’re pulling out and cumming in your fist.” That changes his pace real quick — best believe he’s cumming in your pussy, or not at all. As for his actual refractory period, he’s capable of multiple orgasms throughout the day, but the more he cums in a day, the more days he’ll need to recharge afterwards. 🪫

Toys?

Tengen may or may not dedicate a sizeable portion of his income to sex toys, especially factoring in Hina, Makio, and Suma. While he appreciates being called a Sex God™️, he’s a relatively humble god 🙃, and is fine acknowledging the usefulness and efficiency of dildos, vibrators, etc. He definitely researches options of intrigue before buying, and only purchases well reputed— oftentimes more expensive—toys. If any of you (“you” being Hina, Makio, Suma, and you) request a custom dildo of his penis, then you bet he’s making four of them!!!!! 😃 Why would he squander the opportunity to watch all four of his partners—all at the same time—fuck themselves with ~his cock? 😤 If you’re into anal sex, then he might splurge even further and make eight… because why would he squander the opportunity to watch all four of his partners—all at the same time—stuff all of their holes? Does this mean he’d technically need twelve if we’re counting mouths as well?

Unfair? how they feel about teasing/being teased

Tengen loooves teasing, but isn’t fond of being teased himself. 😬 You can tease him—he isn’t a jerk about it/won’t promptly shut you down—but he will flip the tables sooner rather than later. Verbal banter goes over better with him than physical playfulness, because it’s just too easy for him to manhandle you. If you’re dominant/switch leaning, then he’ll occasionally relinquish his reins, but doing so absolutely requires lengthy discussion and upfront negotiation/explanation (of your needs) prior.

Volume?

Tengen murmurs lowly and grunts loudly; a combination of seductive, filthy, and sometimes nonsensical dirty talk + guttural, staggered noises as he nears his climax. If he’s cumming multiple times in a day, then he’s definitely shouting, “Fuck, fuck, fuckfuck, FUUUUUCK!!!!!” by his last orgasm — similar to shouting through a difficult part of a workout, because cumming multiple times in a day is 😮‍💨.

Wild Card?

Tengen’s contemplated getting his dick pierced more than once, but hasn’t followed through with it because he’s afraid of the pain. Don’t get him wrong!!! 😠 He’s tough!!!!! 😡 Just not that kind of tough. 🫠

X-ray?

A show-er for sure, almost 8 inches when fully erect, and as thick as you’d expect (very). Proper preparation and lube are generally a must—another reason Tengen isn’t super into quickies—but he’s fairly straight with minimal veins, aka no wicked curves or texture that require further adjustment. The head of his cock is relatively small, so getting through the initial squeeze and fullness isn’t the hardest part; it’s a ~journey all the way down to his balls. 🤠

Yearning? sex drive

Goes through periods of initiating sex every other day to not feeling anything in particular about sex for like, a week. With four wives, that neutral period is important for resetting himself and getting shit done — taking care of himself + four partners sexually can take up a lot of time! Of course, you can obviously pleasure yourself + each other too (permutations, math, 5 numbers), and he’s more than content to watch—or hear about it later—when he’s not quite up for participating himself.

Zzz?

Instead of crashing immediately after sex, Tengen crashes immediately following aftercare. He has plenty of energy to go ~overboard with aftercare, and precisely no energy once he knows you’re both comfortably grounded and sated (if you let him, then he will cook you that three course meal mentioned in Aftercare, and he will start nodding off at the dining table once you’ve taken your last bite 🥱). He’s pretty indifferent about how you sleep after sex; just don’t roll over to the complete opposite side of the bed without even a pinky toe or finger touching him 🥲 — he’ll fall asleep thinking he’s upset you, but too tired to actually ask. 🥺😴

[angel-of-the-moons]

A Rose Under The Moon

Moon Knight System (Marc, Steven, Jake) x Fem!Reader

TW/CW: Child Abuse, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression

A/N: Here's some more angst I'm sorry Also, sorry for this chapter being so short!! But it felt important and I kinda wanted to do more short chapters like this to help stretch the story along a bit further. But we're so close! More drama is afoot! Angst! Despair! Dun dun duuuuun...

Taglist:@bad4amficideas @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @shirukitsune @lokisremainingsanity @mundivagantsoul @furblrwurblr @zoleea-exultant @latenightcravingz @daygirl26 @thelastemzy @leahnicole1219 @marsmallow433 @crazyunsexycool @oscarissac2099 @littlenosoul @animechick555 @capsiclesworldsblog @cloudroomblog @lov3vivian @princessakirika @fog-sama @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @badbishsblog @stardream14 @meowmeowyoongles @kate-ohara @kittenlover614 @patchesofwork @enheduannasposts @lillycore555

Chapter 13:

A Rock, A River, And A Boy With a Soft Smile

The dreams weren't constant.... but some of them were better than the first. Sometimes worse... But whatever they were, it was obvious that these dreams were connected to your soulmate... Why else would you be able to touch the boy but nobody else?

As you dreamt, more and more happened. You never saw the boy as an adult man; only ever as a child, or varying ages below 18. It took you a short while to figure out just what these dreams were.

His memories.

And they explained so much of the phantom pains and bruises you'd felt growing up your entire life.

It wasn't until tonight that you were in a different place; trees and grass surrounded you. There was a rocky outcropping with what looked like a crevice inbetween the crags.

Outside of the cave was a boulder, and on that boulder was the boy. His knees were tucked up to his chest and his arms were wrapped tightly around them, his face buried as he shook, bruises visible on his arms, his clothes dirty; twigs stuck out from his raven curls here and there. It became obvious rather quickly that the boy had possibly slept out here.

You rushed over to him, compassion hitting you like a freight train and gently placed your hand on his shoulder.

His reaction was instinctive, brought on by practice of avoiding his mother's blows. The boy's arms immediately went up to cover his head, flinching to protect himself from a blow that you were never going to deliver.

"It's okay, I'm sorry!" You hushed him gently as he scrambles down into the grass to get away from you. You fell to your knees, feeling the dirt and mud cake onto your pajama pants; you held your hands out to him, showing you weren't going to do anything.

It wasn't until one amber eye peeked out at you that he finally realized you weren't his dreadful mother. He lifted his head and his eyes widened.

"Are you okay?" You asked him desperately, "Are you hurt?"

"What are you? Did he send you to mess with me?" He asked you, his voice cracking slightly in pitch, "Because making me do those... those things aren't enough? Now he's gotta... gotta..."

That broke your heart even more; he was so young. Too young to be suffering this kind of abuse, too young to worry about when the next blow was going to land. He shouldn't have to think of his home as a battlefield he had to navigate like some kind of shell-shocked soldier.

"Nobody sent me, I just... I'm here." You try to tell him.

His eyes frantically searched your body, unable to focus on any specific part of you. His brows furrowed and he swallowed.

"You... you can't see me, can you?"

He shifted to sit on his knees, looking towards your face, not quite able to place where your eyes would be. "I... N-No. You look like a... a blob."

Despite the circumstances, you can't help but laugh. "A blob?"

His brows furrowed and he licked his lips, a healing cut on his bottom one making him wince a little. "...You sound funny too. I can't hear everything you say."

"I can hear you." You replied slowly, inching closer to him as he tried to piece your words together. When he didn't move away, you took it as a good sign, that he was comfortable with you. Or, well, getting there at least.

His little eyes seemed confused, and he pursed his lips. "He... didn't send you?"

"Who's he?" You questioned.

"...A bee?" He asked, his face scrunching up in confusion.

You snort, sighing, "This isn't going to be a flawless method of communication, is it?"

He watched as you scooted to sit next to him, and his body instinctively leaned closer to yours. He was shivering. Cold. You were, too, but... clearly you hadn't spent the night in the woods like he had.

He swallowed deeply, forcing the chatter in his teeth away as best he could; "Y-you're...."

"Who you need me to be." You said resolutely, bringing your arm around his shoulders, tucking him into the warmer shelter of your own body.

He seemed to understand the intentions behind your words, even if he couldn't hear them clearly, sighing as his body sunk into the warmth your body bled for him.

Your hand rubbed his warm softly, and you whispered, "Why is this happening to you? Why does she do this?"

"She hates me." He told you. He didn't need to hear you clearly to know you were asking about her. His mother.

He wiped at his runny nose, sniffling. "It's my fault. I-I did something bad... It's all my fault and she... I didn't mean to do it, I swear!"

You felt your heart lurch painfully in your chest as he started to cry, wrapping both arms around him as you tucked him tighter against you, holding his head against your chest to let him cry into your shirt.

"I deserve it. I'm... I'm a bad person. I... I'm..."

Those words made you want to scream, but you kept your voice in check as you pet his hair to soothe him as best you could.

"You're not a bad person." You told him softly, kissing the top of his head as he held onto you. "You're just a boy. Who's hurting, being hurt. It doesn't make you bad. It makes you a victim."

You didn't care if he heard all of what you said to him, but you prayed he understood what you meant by the feeling in your voice as you said them.

He lifts his head to look at you, disheveled, scared, and confused. The bruises and cuts on his lip make your heart hurt and burn with the desire to get your hands on that monstrous bitch of a woman he calls mother.

His smaller hand grasps at one of yours desperately and he holds it to his cheek, desperate for more gentle touches; as if they would soothe the aches and pains left behind even when the wounds had healed and bruises had faded. His sleeve rises up and your eyes trace the faint mark of... of a flower. You couldn't tell what kind, as the bud hadn't bloomed, but...

No, it wasn't time to focus on that right now. He needed comfort. He needed you.

You sat there, unsure of how much time had passed in your little dream sequence, before he finally spoke up again. His voice was softer, this time:

"You can't do this anymore."

"What?" You blinked at him in shock. You even had to shake your head to make sure you hadn't knocked something lose somehow.

He pulled back from you, and stood up, backing away from you.

"You can't keep finding me." He says, tears welling up in his eyes once again. "I'll hurt you, too."

"Wait!" You say, reaching out for him, your heart breaking yet again as he stepped further out of reach. "What's your name?"

"I don't want to hurt you, too... not you..." He sobs softly, clenching his fists before he runs away.

You are barely able to let out a scream before the earth opens up and swallows you whole; and everything goes black.

Chapter 14: Link

[homestuckreplay]

New Year, New Trolls

(page 1089-1099)

So far, every scene of Homestuck has taken place on John, Rose, Dave or Jade’s birthday. I’m also really excited that the Dave flashback we got a glimpse of on page 1073 is real and here, even if his city looks miserable in December. And page 1089 includes an absolute top tier line: ‘When [John] sees your staggering gesture of sentimentality he will finally understand. He will understand that in the game of facetious sentimental gestures, no one gets the best of Rose Lalonde.’

It’s also fun learning that both Rose and Dave have changed their desktop wallpapers recently! I’m delighted to know that Rose Lalonde’s previous wallpaper was the official art for the Call of Cthulhu card game – sorry, the Foretelling of Fluthlu card game – with a heavy purple filter applied. I believe this edition is from 2008 and Rose is definitely playing it. Meanwhile, Dave has chosen an officially licensed Starsky & Hutch wallpaper, released by Warner Bros. as promotional material before the movie’s 2004 release. Dave has removed the ‘In Theaters March 5’ but kept everything else identical. Ironically, I’m sure.

John’s Letters

John is the sweetest, and I wish he could see more of his own strengths and wasn’t dunking on his own drawings here. His letters are very different to how he communicates via Pesterchum – he’s expressing feelings towards his friends far more strongly here, and he’s also showing a deeper understanding of them than usual. It must be easier for him to express himself with that extra layer of distance, having time to think about his words and knowing that he won’t get a direct response.

John casually drops that Rose has been his friend ‘all these years’, so they’ve known each other since they were… 8 or 9, maybe? That’s a reasonable age to be on the internet and proficient with typing, and see each other as old friends by 12 or 13. I mean, they’ve probably been friends for 4 years and 13 days at the start of the story, so that fits.

John knowing what a wet T-shirt contest is feels pretty jarring, and totally came from whatever movie he watched the night before writing this. More obviously in character is John saying ‘they're totally authentic! they actually touched ben stiller's weird, sort of gaunt face at some point’ in his December letter to Dave, and then using the exact same phrasing via Pesterchum the following April - ‘you do realize they touched stiller's weird, sort of gaunt face at some point’ (p.110). It’s also extremely heartwarming that Dave immediately takes off the shades that match his brother’s and puts on the new ones he got from his best friend, and then never switches back. John says ‘i think you just gotta get out of your bro's shadow and spread your wings dude!!!’ and Dave actually listens. That’s a hard thing to do all at once, but a big first step, and it only happened because Dave had support from an actual cool person in his life.

Here’s the thing: John loves his friends. Jade’s visions and their importance suggest that a lot of Homestuck is about predestination, and that it’s possible that at least John and Jade’s meeting was fated or engineered. But even if all four kids only met because of something Jade saw in dreams, that doesn’t create love! They’re still the kids who put in the effort to connect despite all their differences and who go above and beyond to care for each other and show love on each other’s birthdays! At this point John knows nothing about any predestination, he just knows that these people mean a lot to him and he wants them to know that.

Act 3 began with a page titled ‘Dear John,’ (p.759), showing us Nanna’s message inside Colonel Sassacre’s tome, and now we’ve got ‘dear rose,’ (p.1091) and ‘dear dave,’ (p.1097), so I am calling it now that the final page of the act will be a Dear Jade.

grimAuxiliatrix

carcinoGeneticist was a very disappointing and uncreative troll when we met on page 859, but grimAuxiliatrix is a master at work, and their pesterlog with Rose is a joy to read. GA’s gambit of claiming to be an alien out of sync with Earth’s time and used to dealing with species of far superior intellect is hilarious, I would actively enjoy getting trolled by them, and of course Rose would be compelled enough by the game to accidentally in some way fall for it. The ‘beginning every word with a capital letter’ is a nice touch that does make them sound more alien. Rose and Dave’s banter is great but I feel like GA challenges Rose more than Dave does, and definitely has a more similar vocabulary. Describing time as ‘A Utility That A Universe May Resort To In Order To Advance A Desired Degree Of Complexity’ is interesting, and suggests the possibility of a universe that does not utilize time – the Incipisphere, perhaps?

It seems like Rose isn’t fully buying GA’s claim to have spoken to future Rose, but we know from her relationship with Jade that she’s not fully closed off to the supernatural, so I’m hoping this previous/next conversation comes around soon.

adiosToreador

While John and Jade’s instincts are to avoid messages from the trolls, Rose and Dave’s are to play the trolls at their own game. Dave and AT’s conversation is equal parts disgusting and disturbing and contains several phrases I wish I’d never read, and hope to never read again. But essentially they’re playing online gay chicken, and Dave is willing to take it much further. GA referred to a group that is ‘All Already In Agreement’, but they could be a leader of the group, and AT a more unwilling follower who doesn’t take to trolling so well. It seems like they’re going for a mix of CG’s aggression and GA’s wordiness and not really succeeding with either, and having this easy target for bullying brings out the worst in Dave, so I’m not on anyone’s side here. They’re both knowingly trying to upset each other, and I think it is believable that they would talk like this, but I don't want any part of it.

This is also, technically, the act’s title page – Dave drops the phrase ‘insane corkscrew haymakers’ towards the end of the page, in a context I don’t especially want to explore in depth. It’s a fun phrase out of context but I too would block Dave for some of the other stuff he says.

Troll Theories

It would be way too much of a coincidence if, in a story where some locations exist ‘untouched by the flow of time’ of others, these trolls were just regular people on Earth making this all up. I personally think the trolls are currently on the ominous planet, and are specifically trying to cause problems for these Sburb players. I’m not sure if they are part of the game – either a random rival group of players admitted to the same session, or a group of NPCs – or if they’re hackers who have infiltrated this session against the game’s wishes. If they are hackers, they could end up being technically ‘good’ if they’re working against Sburb itself, but will probably still have different goals to the kids.

If they’re planted by Sburb and there are twelve of them aligned with the ominous planet, and only four fighting on behalf of Prospit, this could explain why the forces of light are destined to lose. If that’s the case, the game has a social angle – if Rose can convince GA that it’s smarter to fight for the light, and if Dave can bully AT into doing the same, then John and Jade only need to sway one person each for an evenly matched, fair fight. I also think it’s possible that the Midnight Crew is four of these guys, although I don’t have any thoughts as to which, or to who the other eight would be.

> Dave: Break old sunglasses in annoyance.

[ghouljams]

how does one become free of insecurity? i’m already doing therapy but i feel i’ve only moved away from hating myself so much i want to d*e into just thinking everyone’s better than me

It's a long journey, but well worth it.

I don't think anyone is ever truly free of insecurity, but I think there's also a lot that is unpacked simply through the language we use to describe ourselves and the jokes we allow other people to make at our expense.

Therapy is great at helping you deal with the big feelings, but sometimes little things get caught in your head and it's hard to shake them. Here are some things that I do to keep myself feeling good, and also some things that I'm working on:

No suicide jokes. I make it a point never to joke about "oh I'll just kill myself" or anything like that because ultimately it just makes me feel worse and nobody finds it funny. It's also a good way to change your thinking and direct your solution brain away from "I'll just end things when shit gets hard." This one is a constant battle.

I compliment myself whenever I have the chance. I take every compliment someone gives me. I pretend to be vapid and self-absorbed. I make kissy faces at myself in the mirror. I tell other people how pretty I am, and I don't fucking care if they think I'm a stupid bimbo because I'm trying to love myself and that's more important.

Being kinder to my younger self. This one feels weird but I found myself being mean to little Ghoul when I was really sad. It feels easy to take out your anger on a kid that didn't know any better, and it doesn't guilt you because that's you that you're hating. But look. You were just a kid. You weren't stupid or ugly or unlovable or evil, you were a kid. I just caught myself calling my teenage self ugly the other day on my way to visit my mom and I had to stop and go "why am I saying this? I was just a kid." And it made me cry a li'l bit ngl, but if felt... idk it felt good in a way.

Don't let fucking anyone tell you, you're not worth it. Does your friend make jokes about how dumb you are? Or how you're so cringey? Or so embarrassing or bad at something or forgetful or WHATEVER? Yeah, fuck that noise. Tell them to stop doing that. Tell them it hurts your feelings and if they still don't stop they aren't your friend, they're your bully. I fucking hate bullies. Don't let anyone talk down to you, I don't care if it was a joke at first, it's not funny anymore. Fuck them.

This is something I'm working on, but when you start fixing one insecurity another will probably pop up. I've been working for a long time on liking how I look, and it's gone really well. But now I'm insecure about my intelligence. So I have to stop myself from calling myself stupid or not answering questions. I just fucking rocked my work trivia party, and Mr. Ghoul thinks I'm smart, so I just gotta keep track of my wins. Sometimes you realize that making yourself secure in one thing makes you insecure about another, but that's ok! There's a learning curve to all of this.

Everyone thinks everyone else is better than them. You don't have to be the best at everything, you don't even have to be the best at one thing! What's important is that you're doing your best. People notice when you're working hard, even if you're not churning out the best product because it means you care about it. Which brings me to

Done is better than perfect. Sure it would be great if you were God's most specialist soldier, but think about how much work that would be! Ok so you're not the world's best knitter, but the scarf you made your friend is their favorite scarf anyway because you made it. So you're not a world class writer, but you had a story in your head and you wrote it down. That's better than it never being written at all. Also just because you think it's bad doesn't mean other people won't think it's a masterpiece. Hell, half of the fics I wrote when I first started this blog I could write better now but that doesn't make them bad, it just means I've gotten better.

We as humans are constantly improving and evolving. Don't let who you are no stop you from striving towards who you'll be in the future. Taking one step down the path towards loving yourself is better than giving up and hating yourself forever. It's slow going, but man I've been doing this shit for a decade and I'm so much happier than I was at 18.

You might think that the more you improve the harder and faller you'll fall back to the bottom, but the lows don't get that low again. You're doing great. I'm proud of you.

[stardewrotsession]

Note: So I know the ten heart event is when they technically confess, but I wanted to make this anyways. I’m not sure if this would count as a headcanon or as one shots, I kinda combined them. I’m sure I made some longer than others. Let me know what you think!

How the Bachelors confess to you:

Sam

- Sam honestly wanted to confess to you for a long time now.

- The way you made him feel was nothing like anything else he's ever felt before.

- But, to him, your friendship was the most important thing to him than confessing. He thought he was much better off being friends with you than ruining whatever you two had.

- Honestly? He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if you two stopped talking because of him.

- So, he kept quiet for awhile.

- Well, as long as he could, anyways.

- You were hanging out with him near the river. Originally you just needed a specific type of fish, but after seeing Sam coming outside to you play his video game, you decided to talk with him.

- I think the moment he saw you, he put his game in his pocket and didn’t think to take it out for the rest of the night.

- He could’ve left it by the bushes and he wouldn’t have even noticed.

- All he really cared about was sitting by the river with you, talking and laughing about something he couldn’t even remember.

- But he was with you.

- And then he’d get a little too comfortable.

- “You know, it’s kinda weird how no one’s asked you out yet,” he commented while playing with the grass.

- “Me? No, I don’t think anyone here likes me, let alone like that,” you said dismissively while laughing.

- “You kidding?” Sam exclaimed. “Everyone loves you here. You’re a catch! Anyone would fall for you, I know I am. Don’t sell yourself short.”

- Oops. Guess it just slipped out.

- Of course he wouldn’t notice at first. When Sam talks, he just kinda… talks.

- “…What..?” You said, making sure you didn’t hear that wrong.

- “I said everyone loves you!” He repeated, oblivious. “Anyone would fall for you, I…”

- Oh. Oh.

- “Uh, well…”

- It was at this point that his face would turn bright red, embarrassed that he managed to say something so big, so serious, in such a casual way.

- Only you could really break his silence after that.

- “So… you’re falling for me?”

- He knows he can’t really lie himself out of this one.

- “Yeah… I guess I am… I have been for a while, actually.”

- Your silence was what caused him to panic.

- "I didn't mean to say that out loud, I swear," he tried to explain. "I mean, I wanted to, but I didn't think you'd feel the same w-"

- He didn't realize you were leaning in until your lips touched, causing him to immediately stop talking.

- When you pulled away, it took him a second to realize what just happened.

- But when he does, he has the biggest smile on his face you've ever seen.

- “So… does this mean you like me back?”

- Hey I like to think he’s just an oblivious boy, you gotta spell it out for him sometimes. But it’s one of his charms, trust.

- But I’m sure he knows how you feel at this point. He just wants to make sure he’s not imagining it.

- “I like you, Sam,” you confirm.

- It’s almost funny how giddy he gets.

- “You do?” He said, still processing everything.

- You nod in response, biting your lip to stop yourself from laughing. I would laugh, it’s just so cute and dorky.

- “Holy shit,” he breathed. “You like me!”

Sebastian

- Sebastian’s all over the place when he thinks of confessing to you.

- He’s not really the type of person to show his emotions and express them clearly.

- But you made him wanna try to… which terrified him even more.

- But one day, after you gave him a beautiful frozen tear (they said they got it from the mines, which he wasn’t even going to question anymore), he was determined to tell you how he felt.

- It was the least he could do after all.

- So one night, he decided to drive you up to the mountain side with his motorcycle.

- “Make sure to hold on tight,” he said quietly, before beginning to drive.

- I’d like to think the farmer would start getting anxious from the silence. Although Sebastian was never really one to start a conversation, to you it seemed like he was avoiding one all together.

- Meanwhile Sebastian’s just thinking to himself, wondering how exactly he would be able to approach the topic.

- He didn’t even think of the awkward ride back if you rejected him up until now.

- Once you two make it to the cliff side, you decide to confront him about it.

- “Are you doing okay? You seem more quiet than usual.”

- He nods his head. “I’m fine.”

- That doesn’t really reassure you.

- “You know you can tell me anything right?”

- He stayed silent again, worrying you even more.

- “I know.”

- You drop the subject for now and look out to see the city lights, reminding you of the busy, never ending days you used to have.

- “I'm really glad you wanted to come here with me," he said softly while admiring the view.

- "I wouldn't miss this sight for anything else."

- "Being with you makes everything worth it."

- "You think so?"

- Sebastian gives a small smile and nods while a blush begins to form on his face.

- "Sometimes I feel so angry at everything. But when you show up, I start to calm down..." he turns to you. "I think you bring the best out of me. So, thank you."

- "You don’t need to thank me for that Seb. I like spending time with you."

- “I’m glad.”

- Both of you continue to stare out at the city lights. Internally Sebastian is struggling how to express his feelings until he finally decided to just say it.

- “Do you ever think we could be more than friends?”

- You were taken aback from the random question.

- “Well,” You said. “I think it’d be nice to, if I’m being honest.”

- He looked over at you, surprised. His surprise soon turns into a small smile, a glimpse of what he was actually feeling.

- My guy felt like he was over the moon hearing you say that.

- “Do you… ever want to go out with me sometime?”

- Uh, duh.

- “Sounds like a date,” you answer while scooting closer to him.

- He’s grinning now, but don’t let that fool you. On the inside, he’s falling for you, badly.

- “It’s new,” he said, while slowly putting an arm around you. “Being like this. It’s new… to me.”

- “Don’t worry,” You say softly while leaning into his touch. “We’re doing this together.”

Alex

- Alex had never felt this way about anyone before.

- He might’ve had something for Haley, but it was nothing compared to how you made him feel whenever you were around.

- So yeah, he was feeling a bit nervous. But he was mostly feeling excited.

- I'd like to think Alex and the farmer would flirt around with each other pretty regularly. So because of this, I don't think he'd be as worried as the other bachelors about getting completely shut down.

- He decided to invite you to the beach early in the morning. Originally he wanted to play some gridball with you, but you two would start to mess around to the point where you'd just be tossing the ball around.

- He didn't mind, of course. He liked spending time with you, especially when you two were playing sports together.

- You two ended up going in the water, throwing the gridball back and forth.

- He definitely splashed you while you were busy getting the ball after it slipped out of your hand.

- “Woah, :<name>:, why are you giving me that look?” He said, slowly backing away as you started to smirk. “You don’t need to get any closer to me you know.”

- Man who cares what he says?

- You splash him back anyways.

- And thus started a water fight, you two splashing each other for hours and hours.

- At this point it was more than a fight. It was a full on war.

- By the time you two were done, it was almost sunset.

- But neither of you cared, you two were having fun!

- “We should do this again,” he said causally while drying his hair. “You know, like a date.”

- “A date?” You asked, making sure you were hearing him right.

- “Yeah,” Alex confirmed. “You know, we’d make a pretty good couple.”

- You kinda freeze at that, at first.

- Sure, you had a crush on him, but why would you show it?

- You ultimately decide to play along, saying teasingly, “Oh yeah? And what kind of couple things would we do?”

- He just smirks at you, leaving you to scoff.

- “What?” He laughed. “You’d make a hot partner.”

- You roll your eyes and laugh, but start to calm down when seeing Alex walk up to you.

- “You know that’s not actually what I’d do, right?” He asked.

- “I know,” you responded. “You’re just joking around.”

- “No,” he says, catching your attention. “I mean, I was joking around. But I do wanna take you out on a date sometime.”

- “Do you?” You say.

- “Yeah,” he replied. “What do you say?”

- “Hm…” you said, pretending to think about it. “Pick me up tomorrow at 6.”

- You wink at him, causing him to slightly blush.

- “Don’t keep me waiting.”

Shane

- Shane was nervous, really.

- Not about messing up per say, but about embarrassing you. Putting you in an uncomfortable situation in case you didn’t feel the same way.

- He could honestly care less about what he messes up. You’ve already seen him at his lowest, and yet you didn’t run away.

- You didn’t give up on him.

- That feeling of warmth, support, and help made him realize he it’s okay to get help.

- He wanted to help you too. He wanted to be there for you, comfort you when you cry, everything.

- So, he went to you.

- Flowers in hand, he walked over to the farmhouse and knocked on your door, anxiously awaiting for you to answer.

- In that moment, his mind started spiraling with second thoughts. “What if they don’t feel the same way? What if this goes horribly wrong, and they start avoiding me?”

- His legs are frozen in place, but his mind kept throwing second thoughts at him left and right.

- He turns around to see you walking back from the bus. You’re smiling at him curiously.

- “Whatcha got there?” You say while leering over to take a peek.

- “Don’t worry about it,” he says dismissively while hiding the flowers.

- You peer over to take a peak, causing him to roll his eyes and to give you the flowers.

- “Just picked them as I was coming here,” he muttered while handing them to you.

- You smile in response.

- “The Shane? Giving me flowers? What is it, my birthday?”

- “Mm, you wish.”

- He’s not that good at uh… positive, feelings.

- “Listen, I was thinking…” Shane started to say. “There’s a game later this weekend. I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”

- “Me?” You say curiously. “I would’ve thought you were going to invite Marnie or Jas to come.”

- “Yeah well, they’re not really into that sort of thing,” he grumbled. “Plus… I wanted to kinda thank you. Treat you out or something.”

- “If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were taking me out on a date,” you tease.

- He’s blushing like crazy now.

- “If you want it to be…”

- You blink, taken back by his rather bold answer.

- “Shane, are you asking me out on a date?”

- “I mean… you’ve helped me through a lot. Even if you don’t feel the same way, I wanna try to take you out as a thank you.”

- You smile warmly at him.

- “It’s a date then.”

Elliot

- Okay I’ve been looking forward to this one cause I really didn’t like his ten heart scene. IMO though.

- Elliot really wanted the way he asked you out to be perfect.

- Like, movie perfect. When the two main characters finally confess their love for each other and kiss while the camera slowly pulls away, showing the beautiful setting they found themselves in.

- He’s a day dreamer alright.

- Of course he had the doubt of you not feeling the same way, but he had to do it.

- As he would say, “My heart cannot bear this any longer.”

- So, he decided to write you a letter in the mail.

- “Dear :<name>: Meet me by the pier at 5PM. I have a surprise waiting for you. I hope to see you soon.”

- When you arrived, you were pleasantly surprised to see him sitting down on a blanket, with two wine glasses in the middle and candles scattered across the pier. The old rowboat that was near his house was now on the water, a rope tying it to the pier.

- “What’s all this?” You ask curiously while looking at the candles.

- “I felt compelled to do this for you, as a thank you,” he explained. “Come, sit with me.”

- He clears his throat a little while you sit down next to him.

- “:<name>:, you’ve supported me and my career when no one else did. You were the one to give me that push to finish my novel. So, thank you.”

- “You are a great writer, Elliot,” you say in response. “I’d be a fool if I didn’t support you.”

- He blushes slightly while giving you a small smile.

- “I thank you, nevertheless.”

- He picks up the two glasses and pours a little bit of wine in each glass. He holds one out to you and you take it, smiling at him before taking a sip.

- The two of you take in the nice cool breeze from the ocean and enjoy the moment.

- “:<name>:?”

- You look over at him.

- “I have a confession to make.”

- “What is it Elliot?”

- His heart is pounding at this point.

- “This Valley didn’t feel like home to me when I first came here,” he tried to explain. “Now, it finally does… :<name>:, I’m not sure how put this into words, for once I’m at a loss…”

- You wait for him to finish.

- “I have deep feelings for you,” he said slowly. “Since the moment you walked into the saloon, I’ve had them for you. And I cannot express how happy I feel when I’m with you.”

- Swoon

- “Will you do me the honor of going out with me..?”

- Well? What are you waiting for??

[tommykinard217]

This Thing Between Us

Pairing: Detective/ Mason

Rating: T

Fandom: The Wayhaven Chronicles

Summary: In the aftermath of the botched ritual, Marcus and Mason share a moment together

AO3 link

Fic will also be posted under the cut if you prefer to read on here! I hope you enjoy!

Marcus was exhausted in a way that felt like no matter how much rest he got, he'd never be able to quite shake it. It's been hours after the events in the forest. After Li-Sar and…whatever he did to Marcus. The energy that had been crackling under his skin seemed to settle, at least a little, but that wasn't enough to placate the Agency. They had decided that it was best to keep Marcus at the facility to more closely monitor the strange magic pulsing in his veins, and to see if they could figure out the how and why's of said magic's existence.

That all made sense to Marcus, and he agreed, but that didn't mean he didn't want his own bed. That didn't mean he wanted any of this to have happened in the first place. Especially considering what he had done.

Mason had been pretty insistent that the wound that still hadn't healed wasn't Marcus's fault, and that he trusted that Marcus wouldn't do it again.

And he wouldn't. Marcus would rather die than hurt Mason again, in any capacity.

But that didn't change the possibility that something could happen outside of his control. He didn't know anything about controlling magic, or even having magic at all. And now he had to learn how to control and navigate one of the few magics that could seriously hurt the people he loved.

Marcus threw his head back onto the firm pillow, staring up at the ceiling, wondering how the hell things ended up like this.

“You doing okay, handsome?” Mason's voice came from the doorway, where he was leaning against the now open frame. Marcus had been so distracted by his own thoughts that he hadn't even heard Mason open the door.

“Doing as okay as one can, I guess.” Marcus had shrugged, not exactly sure how else to answer. His lips had thinned in worry as he looked Mason over, noticing the bandage wrapping Mason's arm and hiding the wound from view. “I'm more worried about you.”

Mason rolled his eyes, walking closer before deciding to sit down in the chair next to his bed. “We're not doing this again. You're not going to hurt me again. I'm fine.”

Marcus sighed, a wet sound almost stuck in his throat. “I wish I had your confidence.” He said, voice almost trembling with emotion. “I don't know how to control any of this. I reached out for you, and you got hit by…whatever the hell this magic is.” He could still see the searing wound in his mind, burnt into his memories. “Am I supposed to just never touch you again?”

Mason rolled his eyes, acting way too unbothered by the situation. “Yeah, that's not going to happen. I trust you, handsome. You gotta trust yourself too.”

Trust. The mere thought made his throat choke up with more emotions. He knew trust was hard to come by when it came to Mason, and sure Marcus knew that trust was there after everything they'd been through, but to hear it from the vampire himself…it was something Marcus would cherish.

“I know,” he eventually relented, “but you can't blame me for being worried. I don't even know exactly what Li-Sar did to me back in that clearing. What if the solar magic is the least of it?” Marcus said, watching as Mason moved to grab his hand, playing with his fingers absentmindedly. He wondered if Mason was doing it as if to say ‘see? I'm touching your hand right now and I haven't gotten blasted’. Or maybe Mason wasn't even really thinking about the action and just did it. Either way, the sweetness of the gesture made Marcus's heart swell with a never ending fondness.

“What the hell even happened with that Li-Sar guy anyways? I know you said you don't remember much, but…” he trailed off, but Marcus knew what he was getting at. Maybe now that time has passed, and Marcus was (relatively) calm, he'd be able to remember more important details.

“It's still a little blurry in my head, honestly. It was all rather surreal.” Marcus started, biting his lip gently as he tried to recall any important details he might have missed. “Ostin did the ritual, Li-Sar materialized, and then he…” Marcus trailed off, not exactly knowing how to explain that this incredibly powerful being was free from his centuries long imprisonment and his first action was to flirt with Marcus.

“He what, handsome?” Mason said, tense, as if the answer might have him springing out of his seat to find Li-Sar in seconds. Marcus squeezed Mason’s hand once, gently, before continuing.

“He flirted with me? Which sounds ridiculous, I know-” A low almost growl-like sound left Mason's throat, his eyebrows drawn in clear irritation. Marcus frowned at the reaction, confused, but pressed on. “-but he did. Said I was ‘tempting’.” Marcus let out a small laugh at that. It was simply his blood that was tempting, he knew it, but there was something almost comical about some ancient powerful being finding Marcus of all people ‘tempting’.

“He's not wrong. Don't like that he agrees though.” There was a weird tone to Mason's voice, one Marcus couldn't exactly place.

“Unfortunately, I can't help that my blood is apparently a supernatural siren call.” Marcus shrugged, the movement jostling Mason a little bit, who looked up in bemusement.

“You sure he meant the blood, handsome?” Mason had asked him, still absentmindedly playing with Marcus's fingers. Marcus nearly sighed at the sweet gesture and sight, but suppressed it, choosing to focus on Mason’s question.

“I mean, like I said, he was flirting, but I have no clue if it's just because he wants my blood for whatever reason or if he wants the whole, uh, package, so to speak. Not that I'm particularly happy with either option, especially considering he barbecued a man right in front of me.” Marcus couldn't help but wince as he remembered Ostin’s charred and battered remains. “Regardless of Ostin trying to attack me, that felt…excessive.”

Mason's brows furrowed, processing everything just said. “Can't say he didn't get what he deserved, but we need to find this guy. I hate the idea of him lurking around, waiting to get to you.”

Marcus just sighed in response, moving so that there was room on the bed for Mason, hoping he'd get the hint. Mason did, immediately moving onto the bed with ease, pulling Marcus into his arms immediately. Neither really needed the comfort, or the closeness. But it was nice. It was right. How it should be.

“I'm not exactly thrilled about that thought either.” Marcus hesitated, hand moving to play with Mason's hair like he'd been wanting to since that morning, before things went to shit. After a moment of internal debate, he decided to go for it, hand gently sinking into the soft waves. Mason seemed to relax even deeper into their embrace, but his gaze was still fixed on where his and Marcus's other hand was still intertwined. “Especially considering he thinks he has some sort of claim on me.”

Mason's eyes snapped up to Marcus's in that instance, all of the tension that had been released from their embrace and from Marcus playing with his hair immediately snapped back into place. “What?”

Marcus blinked at Mason, somewhat bewildered by his reaction before realizing that no, he hadn't mentioned that before. “Oh, yeah. After what he did to Ostin, he said that it was because he went after what was his. I questioned that, and then he said that I wasn't his yet, but that I would be. And then he did whatever the hell it was that gave me solar magic.” He shuddered at the memory, both because of Li-Sar’s words and because of the pain he had gone through. That was definitely something he hoped he wouldn't have to experience again.

Mason's arm tightened its hold around Marcus, as if Li-Sar was on his way right now to rip them apart, his expression shuttered with an expression Marcus couldn't quite place. Then, a smirk, with not as much heat or heart as his usual ones, took its place. “He'll have to get in line, I think.” Marcus knew he was trying to deflect, rather than mean it with any true flirtation, the roughness in his voice and the tenseness in his body an indicator that he was much more bothered by the turn of conversation than he wanted to show.

“Yeah? And you're at the front of this line?” And thus, Marcus himself decided to deflect too. And maybe try to get a glimpse into whatever the hell was building between them.

Mason scoffed, bringing Marcus's hand up to his mouth. Not quite touching with his lips, but close enough for his breath to fan against the skin, goosebumps rising at the feeling. “I should be the only one in line, handsome.”

The words caused Marcus's heart to skip a beat, the intensity in Mason's eyes piercing through him. He licked his lips reflexively, and Mason's eyes tracked the movement like a hawk, darkening with an all too familiar want.

“You're the only one I'd want to be in line, you know that.” Mason did know that, right? That despite them not having slept together or even kissed, that he was the only one Marcus wanted. It was obvious. Even if Mason only wanted sex from him, it was evident that Marcus foolishly hoped for more. Love, sex, he was greedy for the man next to him. Mason had to know that.

Mason stared at him, grey eyes burning into brown, a severity in them that Marcus couldn't hope to decipher. “Is that so, handsome? You've got an interesting way of showing it.” Marcus frowned slightly, confused. He'd made it clear what he wanted from Mason from the get go. It wasn't his fault Mason wanted less, or at least, that he refused to acknowledge that he wanted more.

“You know what I want, Mason.” He said softly, hand slipping out of Mason’s grip and moving to cup the other man's face. Mason immediately sunk into the action, eyes flickering closed for a moment before focusing back on Marcus. “I'm just here waiting.” He'd always be waiting.

Mason looked like he was about to answer, the tension building between the two of them, but the second he opened his mouth, another voice broke through the quiet.

“So what's all this then?” Felix said, a mischievous tone in his voice as he stood in the door frame. Marcus couldn't help but laugh as Mason growled at Felix, who was, as usual, completely unbothered. “Don't tell me I walked in right before things were getting good.” As if Felix didn't have super hearing and didn't know exactly what they were discussing, but Marcus figured they were needed for something, so unfortunately their conversation had to continue at another time. If there was even going to be another time.

Marcus had a sneaking suspicion that this whole business with Li-Sar was going to make moments alone like this an impossibility, and Felix’s next words had immediately proven that suspicion correct.

“We've apparently got a lead on where that Li-Sar guy went, so they need you both for the debriefing.”

The two had shared a look, one of frustration and resignation, but also determination. They'd figure this out. All of this. Li-Sar. This thing between them. They'd figure it out.

Right?

[umbrellasareforever]

Empire of Death

Alright I'm so fresh off watching it and normally I want to give myself time to think before I say anything but also to think I need to get it out somehow so ya'll are getting my thoughts as I process them and then maybe I'll make a more intelligent post later.

Let's start with things I enjoyed!

Mel was fantastic, as always. Bonnie Langford is a treat and honestly, watching her this episode made me almost wish she could be the series companion again.

The Memory TARDIS! A genuinely unexpected surprise and while it made not have made 100% sense, it was a fun reference and a unique way to get around the fact that the TARDIS wasn't available to them.

I enjoyed the scene with the Doctor and the woman in that ramshackle hut. It was a sweet, somewhat slow moment that let you feel the universe a bit. Honestly, I wish the episode had started with that, it would've been a great hook.

As much as I adore my Paradox Baby™️ theory, I do think that having Ruby discover that her mother is, in fact, just a person was quite sweet. It was nice to see a RTD companion actually have a happy ending for once (although we know she's coming back, but hey, it's still a sweet moment).

Okay uhhhhh let's get into my problems...

If Ruby's mother was really just a person why the hell did it snow every time her mom was mentioned? I get the whole "the more significance you give something, the more important it becomes", and I know that the universe is now more supernatural than it was before, but was that the supernatural bleeding in? And while we're on Ruby's mother, why did she point so dramatically to the sign? No one was looking, no one would've known that's what she named her daughter. Is it just a total coincidence that she ended up with that name? Am I crazy?

The moment Rose died so unceremoniously I knew that it was going to end up being one of those "no consequences" episodes and I felt incredibly deflated. I get that Russell needs to make the stakes feel high but I really don't think this is the way. You can't have every season end with a universe shattering event and then just as quickly put everything back to the way it was and expect me to still feel like there's a threat.

Piggybacking off that, whyyyyyyyyyyy the HELL did Mrs. Flood have to say the whole "end in abject terror" thing? I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of every season ending with or being advertised with "OHHHHHH this next one is gonna be the biggest threat the Doctor has ever faced! Nothing will ever be the same!!" STOP!!! STOP IT!!!!!! YOU ARE KILLING ME JUST STOP IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of Mrs. Flood, as curious as I am about her and whatever the hell she is (Iris, Romana, Susan, the Trickster, something else entirely), I also think that the lack of any answers about her and the constant cutting back to her really pulled me away from the story as a whole. Whether it was because I'm more interested in her or because seeing her so much made me think her story was going to be more important in the episode, it just took away from the already limited time we had.

Which kind of brings me to my biggest problem; time. All season every episode has felt like we were rushing through, as if we didn't have nearly enough time to actually tell a story, and it sucks. It leaves stories feeling like first drafts and unsatisfying and meh. I know pacing is hard, but there's gotta be a way to make this stuff work.

On another note, the whistle was... uh... yeah. I'll accept the Doctor having Intelligent Gloves™️ and Intelligent Rope™️ and Psychic Earrings™️, but when a whistle falls out of a cupboard and he puts it on with 0 explanation and then uses what we can only assume is a normal whistle to control the TARDIS to *checks notes* shoot a cannon out of the console and fly it over to him and Ruby... Yeah I just... that's a bit much for me.

Also Sutekh's been on the TARDIS for how long??? Since Pyramids of Mars??? What happened to him in Flatline? What happened to him when the Master turned it into a Paradox Machine? Or when it was blowing up constantly in Series 5? Or when House took it over in The Doctor's Wife? He was just straight chilling?? Honestly this is less of a genuine complaint and more of a "Wow, Doctor Who is wild!"

Now this is VERY much a nitpick and I need to get over it, I know, but God I need 15 to wear more Doctor-esque clothes. Seeing him walk around this whole time in blue jeans and a t-shirt or combat cargo pants and a t-shirt just felt so off. Seriously, when he had that leather trench coat outfit back on at the very end I felt a moment of relief.

And while I'm nitpicking, I know they didn't even really play a part in the episode but I want to, once again, voice my frustration with how much UNIT is a part of RTD2 so far and how it feels like there's not even a hint of military critique about it.

Yeah okay, those are my thoughts for now. If you really read all this, I appreciate and applaud you, and I very much hope you enjoyed the episode. I wish I did.

Here's to the Christmas special, I suppose!

[kissorkill16]

The Device: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: The device is dangerous, so why would anyone want it?

Nicky laid down on his bed, holding the brass and emerald pentagon that he found a year ago.

He was about to go to sleep, but then it kept glowing in his desk, so he thought about examining it for a while.

His mind thought back to when Ivan basically threatened him for it, saying it was really important and that he was aware that it could control the weather and stuff, but that didn't matter to the fake Ivan.

But why would anyone want this device? Surely it's gotta do more than just control the weather and just look shiny and pretty.

He sighed, putting the device in his pocket and going to the bathroom to get his pills.

When he came back from the bathroom with his pills and a glass of water, he nearly fainted when he saw the large shadow of a hulking man in an argyle sweater.

Mr. Peterson was in his room.

The boy dropped his pills and the glass of water and started screaming in terror. Mr. Peterson jumped back and immediately walked over to Nicky, slapping a gloved hand over his mouth to muffle his screams.

"Nicky, calm down! I'm not here to hurt you!", he tried to reason with the boy, but Nicky kept screaming and trying to pry the hand away from his mouth, but Mr. Peterson was too strong.

When Nicky was starting to run out of breath, he stopped screaming, and Mr. Peterson slowly removed his hand from his mouth.

"Also, you've broken into my house more times than I could count on my fingers, so please stop screaming.", said Mr. Peterson. Nicky shrugged and backed away from the man.

"Whatever.", he said, "Just...why are you here?"

"Because you have something important that the Guest is after, and you need to give it to me before he gets to you."

Nicky furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "What is it? And how do I know you're not just Crowface in disguise? Because I feel like I recognize him even as someone else. Seriously, he -"

"He came to you disguised as Ivan, yes. I already know about that."

A moment of awkward silence passed by.

"Look, whatever you think I have, I don't have. So you can leave.", Nicky said, pointing to the door.

But Mr. Peterson didn't leave, "Nicholas, this is serious. You do have the device, I know it. You remember last year when you and your friends snuck out to the woods, don't you?"

Nicky did remember that night. But how did Mr. Peterson know about that night?

"Also, I can see green glowing in your pocket."

Nicky looked down at his pajama pants pocket which contained the device, and slowly pulled it out. "Fine. Yes, I have it. No, I don't know what power it holds other than controlling the weather. But I still don't completely trust you, so if you're asking me to give it to you, then you can leave."

Mr. Peterson gently grabbed Nicky's arm, pulling the boy close to him and taking the device, despite Nicky trying to keep a firm grip on it. "I'm sorry, Nicky. But this demon bird has been cursing me for years, and it's about time I get my revenge."

"Fine, whatever. You have it, now you can leave.", said Nicky. He was about to pick his pills back up, then Mr. Peterson said something that shocked him.

"Nicholas...", he said, "Come with me."

"What?", asked the boy.

"This is for your protection. The Guest could come here at any given moment and try to kill you like he promised.", said Mr. Peterson, "You think I didn't notice the Golden Apple bracelet around your wrist? Lucy had one of those, and she's dead, like you're going to be if you don't come with me.", said Mr. Peterson. Nicky shrunk back and backed up against the wall.

"No. Get out! Leave me alone!"

Mr. Peterson moved forward to the boy, holding a gentle hand to him, "Listen, I know it's too much to take in and you're really scared right now, but please listen to me. Let me help you just like you helped me."

Nicky was hesitant for a moment.

Despite everything Mr. Peterson said, he still wasn't sure whether or not to trust him.

He didn't even believe that Mr. Peterson wanted to protect him, after everything he put him through. The man was probably tricking him into thinking he still cared about him a little bit just so he could offer him to Crowface as a sacrifice.

...But maybe once he was about to do it, he'll realize he could never go through with it, because Nicky was the only thing Mr. Peterson had left to a friend, just like he said.

He was starting to behave just like the old Mr. Peterson again.

And that Mr. Peterson would rather fight Crowface to the death than allow Nicky to go through the same fate as his daughter and Lucy.

Without a second thought, he extended a shaking hand to Mr. Peterson's gloved hand, allowing the man to lead him out the door and across the street to his house.

[yinwaryuri]

Fuck this, I wasn't tagged by anybody but since y'all are making me insane sharing your lovely faves on my dash I gotta join the fun!

10 BL People That I Want Carnally

Just so we're clear, I'm immediately not limiting myself to 10. I'm bi. You think we have limits? (Tumblr says yes, but that's why I'm on desktop for this instead of mobile)

Night from Dirty Laundry

Are we surprised? This awakened a whole thing in me. I was constantly yelling from the rooftops about my love for this man in the cheapest drag you ever saw. This is my JAM. I'm already trying to calm myself down making the first entry on this post. GOD. And his whole committed-to-the-bit romancing a mafia leader and then robbing her because he needs money, but really he's a wee romantic who just wants to write exciting stories like all of us bitches on AO3? Honey I am FREE at 5pm on Saturday. Also, shush, I know it's not a BL, I'm counting it as part of the Midnight Series as a whole :P

Yok from Not Me

PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR POLICE OFFICERS. We already have matching tattoos babe. He isn't perfect but he's a well-intentioned mama's boy and has swagger.

Maya from Laws of Attraction

Listen, I don't think much explaining is necessary here. I'm a woman but she can call me "pretty boy" any day. Is she just Silvy Pavida with a MILF wife? Yeah. That's the point. I'll join. They would let me.

Speaking of Laws of Attraction, Nawin

I deserve an insane golden retriever boyfriend. I deserve a man who can't spell his ex's name but can get a pilot's license. He deserves someone who will enable his silliness, even when there's trouble with the accountant. *kisses all over his wing tattoo*

Togawa from Old Fashion Cupcake

Mr. Hamster Cheeks my love <3 The dates would be so good. And so would the food. And the food naps afterward. I'm a good snuggler, he's tall and there's a lot to snuggle. Win-win.

Ink from Bad Buddy

I know many of us are weak for Milk Pansa, but like, there's a reason for that. She gave us the ICON for lesbian side couples. Please, girl, scare men away from me when they mistake a boner for full-fledged love. Make me feel welcome and important and pretty and like I'm the specialest girl alive. Be taller than me ;)

Wen Qing from The Untamed

She didn't die, actually, we just eloped together, haha. I just think as someone who studied medicine, she'd have a lot of good tricks up her sleeve and I don't mean acupuncture needles.

Saifah from Enchanté

Yeah. I needed to use this gif. Get that record deal my man. Live your dreams king. I also love that he's both the old man and woman here. Impeccable. We deserved more of him.

Uea from Bed Friend

Gimme this catboy realness right now. Also, I just love him so much. He owns his narrative despite all the shit he has suffered and gets everything he deserves for it. We could be besties even. We could be...no I shan't say it.

SamMon from GAP

I just want whatever is going on right here. Let me join. Simple as that.

Tops and Marwin from Ingredients

I'm this guy. Except I think they'd be sad to see the other with someone else so I gotta have them one at a time. Tops, who's a shy cutie who can make yummy foods. And Marwin, who is basically Jeff Satur just pumped with extra himboisms.

Todd from Not Me

All principles out the window. He's evil, he's sexy. I know exactly how much that specific hotel room costs to stay in for a night. It would be luxurious.

Rain from Love In The Air

I know most people would say Phayu, and for Boss, yeah I understand, I am all there. But something about the way that little guy can fuck kinda makes me dizzy, I'm owning that. He doesn't have to be smart, he's just gotta be given compliments. Plus, my bed sheets match!

VegasPete from KinnPorsche

They altered me chemically once and I'd let 'em do it a second time and many more after that.

Tagging @kissporsche @thisautistic @omegaphobe @shubaka @risu442 @khathastrophe @loveable-sea-lemon @fawndlyvenus @viva-yas-vegas @first-kanaphan @wherelanguage-ends @xxatlasxx @adanima @snake-and-mouse @scarefox @scattered-stardust @callipigio @sparklyeyedhimbo @jdotsodomite @futureexmrsmalcolm @suzteel @jeffsatyr @coconuts-mafia