#Do they worry if someone looks too still while sleeping? Do they always bring extra food

[weirdlyhornyforegos]

Dust and Moonlight

MINORS DNI!! Perfect time to bring out this idea stuck in my notes for a year ;3 Directed at horny gang (but mostly @westanthewaterman​ and @sleeplessinspace​ ) and everyone that have joined the Illinois chaos (also funny sidenote; this was titled “revenge illy” for a bit ;3 )

Warnings/tags: handjob, fingering (reader receiving)

Wordcount: 2.1k+

By the time you and Illinois make it out of the caves, you’re sweaty and exhausted, covered in dust and just ready to set up your tents and sleep.

Or even, screw the tents, just sleeping right on the ground sounds tempting right about now. It’s a warm enough summer night to do so, you just might.

It’s dark out, but the moon lights up the surroundings well enough that you have no problem walking without any extra light.

You had both agreed to leave your stuff hidden away in some bushes next to the lake that the caves starts at, and not setting up anything in case someone else came.

You didn’t want to bring it into the caves while exploring, but at the same time you didn’t want it to be fully out and visible for anyone to see and steal.

Not that it was likely, since you were somewhere that could be the definition of bum fuck nowhere.

So as you walk over to the lake, you curse the fact that you will have to actually set up the tents before you can sleep, but you don’t want to do anything right now.

Kneeling down next to the lake, you scoop up some water to rinse at least some dust off your face.

You hear Illinois shuffle somewhere behind you, but you don’t pay it much mind until his steps goes past you. You look up, and is met with Illinois walking out into the lake, back turned to you.

His very bare back.

In fact, all of him is bare except his hat that is still on his head. You get a nice look at his naked ass before it disappears underneath the water.

You squeak and hide your face in your hands, hearing Illinois chuckle.

“Illinois!”

“What, the water is lovely. Nice temperature and easiest way to get all that dust off.” You look up and he has turned towards you.

The water comes up to just below his chest, but you can’t see much below that.

Not that you need to, what you can see is making your face feel warm enough. Illinois chuckles, surely noticing your gaze, but he doesn’t comment on that just yet.

“Come on, join me.” You’re tempted, for a few seconds you hesitate. “I promise the water is nice.”

“It’s not the water I’m worried about.”

“Aww, come one, I don’t bite.” Illinois winks, and you huff. It’s not him either, its honestly yourself. You have been able to control yourself and not fall for him, but being near a naked Illinois might be a bit too much.

But, you must admit, it would be nice with a swim.

So with a sigh you get up and start undressing, making Illinois grin smugly. You don’t comment on the fact the he watches you get undressed or that is sends heat traveling through you. But he comments on you leaving your underwear on.

“Aw shucks, not going to go skinny dipping with me?” You snort as you take your first few steps out into the water.

“Not everyone is an exhibitionist like you.”

“I am not, I just.... appreciate the natural beauty of our bodies.” You don’t answer that, but give him an unimpressed look as he winks again.

Bastard.

At least he hadn’t lied about the water. It feels nice, slightly cool against your heated skin, and you can almost feel the dust coming off you.

You keep a respectable distance between you the two of you as you lower yourself until only your head is above water. Closing your eyes, you can’t help the little content sigh that escapes you.

“See, told you.”

“Oh shut your trap.” Illinois just laughs, smug as always, and you find yourself smiling despite yourself.

Next there’s noise you can’t identify, and when you open your eyes you find Illinois’s hat floating on the surface alone.

You only manage to worry for a second before Illinois pops his head up right next to his hat, shaking his head to keep his hair out of his eyes and rid it of some water. The water runs down his chest, leaving only drops behind his tan chest.

He looks like one of those models from those shitty commercial that uses sex and hot people to sell less than subpar products.

Oh no.

Illinois catches you staring and this time he chooses to comment.

“Like what you see honey?” You look away, your face feeling like it’s on fire while you try not to put.

“No.” That’s perhaps the biggest lie you’ve ever told. You hear the water moving, a clear sign Illinois is not just standing still anymore, but you don’t look until there’s a hand on your jaw turning your head.

“Are you sure?” Illinois smile is soft, but also somehow smug. How he manages that you don’t know, but fuck him for it.

Or....

“I, ummm...” Illinois leans closer then, and you’re sure if you were the protagonist in a cheesy romance novel, you would faint right about now.

But you’re not, and you don’t, but you have to admit your knees do feel a little weaker.

“You know you can touch, and not just look if you like.” He takes on of your hand and places it on his chest. You have to resist the urge to just grab, instead you’re a little more refined, letting your fingers wander.

Illinois hums deep then, it’s almost a growl as your fingers brush against a nipple.

“There you go treasure.” You will deny to high heaven that you whine just then, but Illinois grins at you, looking for all intent and purposes like that cat that ate the canary.

His own hands come to rest as your waist, pulling you closer to him. You feel his hard cock rub against you, making your breath hitch as he also noses along your jaw.

“So pretty...” He places a kiss there, and now you grab the back of his head, knocking his hat off in the process, pulling him in harshly to so you can kiss him properly.

Lips against lips he makes a noise of surprise as you kiss him, but there is nothing slow with the way he returns the kiss. He only lets you have the upper hand for a few seconds, licking his way into your mouth with purpose.

You groan into the kiss as you feel his cock rub against the front of your underwear, you own arousal very much announcing its arrival deep in your guts.

Illinois breaks the kiss, but only so he can grab his hat from behind it, barely keeping it from sinking. As he goes to place it back on his own head, you tug at his hair.

“It will just be in the way.”

“Hm, I guess you got a point.” Seconds later the hat is placed on your head instead. It doesn’t quite fit right, but the smile that Illinois sends you makes you forget that instantly.

“Looking good honey.” Another wink, and he looks so handsome it should be stupid. A smug look on his face, water droplets covering his tan torso, the moonlight making him almost look eternal.

Fuck, you’re in bad, huh?

You pull him in for another kiss and he smiles into it, your tongue quickly coming out to meet his.

Your arousal soars as his hands move, one to grab at your ass, the other to rub against your underwear clad front. You whine into the kiss, moving against his hand.

The hand against your front is gone for the briefest of seconds before making it’s it way under your underwear, fingers dancing over your arousal. You whine, moving against his hand. Your hand in Illinois hair tugs his head back, making him break the kiss with a groan.

“Treasure...” His voice rumbles, and you keen against him, strangling your moan by biting his shoulder, hard. He grunts, but doesn’t stop moving his hand against you. “Fuck.” You soothe the bite mark now adoring his shoulder with your tongue.

He sounds so breathless, and the sound of it soars through your body. Now you’re the one that feels smug, making the normally so confident man sound like that.

And you haven’t even touched him yet.

But that changes as your hand moves between the two of you, coming to grasp his cock in your hands. Your fingers wrap around him, giving a light squeeze. He moans, and it sounds like the sweetest sound you have ever heard.

“Darlin’, you’re going to be the death of me.”

“Only if you stop touching me.” He squeezes your ass then

“Didn’t plan on stopping anytime soon.”

“Good.” You mutter against his neck. To be honest you have always wondered how his neck and shoulders would look with your bite-marks and hickeys on it, so you start on doing just that.

His neck is so open like this, your head in his hair keeping his head tilted back while your other hand works on his cock.

His hands working you over, one against in your underwear working over your arousal, while the other slides from your ass to rest one finger against your hole.

“Yessss.” You try to move down against his finger, but the angle isn’t the best.

But, taking advantage of the water around you, you jump up with no real effort, putting your legs around his waist.

You briefly have to let go if his cock to do so, but you don’t give him much of  break, your hand is back in seconds.

“Ahhh, there you go honey.” You hum against his neck as one finger enters you, starting on another hickey, making your breaths hitch in unison.

You feel slightly weightless like this, the water holding some of your weight, but you still considered it a show of strength on both your parts that the only holding in place is your legs around Illinois waist and his hands against your arousal and hole.

The water laps at you both, but you hardly pay it any mind as your hand works over his cock with one hand, the other keeping his head tilted back for you so you can make marks along his neck and shoulders.

The quite night is filled with the sounds of your shared moans. Your hand against his cock and mouth against his skin, his hands against your arousal and your hole.

At one point Illinois hits that bundle of nerves inside of you, making you shake with your next moan. His own corresponding moan is more of a laugh, though it changes as you thumb the head of his cock.

“Illinois, Illy, fuck!” You’re getting so close, every movement of his hands against your front and hole sending you closer and closer to the edge.

Illinois seems to be in much the same state, chanting your name right back at you, hands speeding up, determined to not be the first to cum, or at least to not let you fall behind.

Through some luck and skilled work from his fingers, you come first.

You shake apart with his hands on you, biting down hard as you come, making Illinois groan and come too.

You both keep stroking against the other until you’re both almost too sensitive, making you both shiver. Not from how cold the night air or water surrounding you both are, both how the other makes pleasure shoot up your spine.

You move from having your mouth solely on Illinois skin to give him a proper kiss, lips against lips. He exhales into it, his hands on your thighs now. Keeping you in place, since you don’t think you have the strength

“Thought we got into this lake to get clean.” You mutter against Illinois’s lips. He chuckles, kissing your cheek.

“Something like that, yes. But I can help you scrub clean if you’d like.” You know that tone, the utter tease he is.

“Think I can manage, but don’t you dare let go of my legs just yet.” If you thought he looked smug before, it was nothing compared to now.

“That good huh?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Don’t need to, you do it well enough for me.” You hit his chest as he laughs. You choose not to comment on how good he looks covered in the bite marks and hickeys you made, you don’t want to blow up his ego too much.

Though that might be a lost cause, but still.

Fuck, he looks too good as he kisses you again and start wading towards the shoreline of the lake.

He doesn’t let go of your legs until you’re on solid ground again, and that is only after you insist you need to at least find your sleeping bags.

You end up sleeping under the stars that night, to tired and sated to put up the tents.

After that night however, you end up only ever using one.

[wooahaes]

trsr - realizing they love you

pairing: hyung + middle trsr line x gn!reader

prompt: request from anon: hi! can i request treasure realizing that they love you?  like you’re in a relationship with them and they realize that they love you? thank you!!

warnings: just fluff (+ vague food mentions & skinship). intentional lowercase + no proofreading!!

daisy’s notes: i took three months to write this. anon if u are still here, i am SO sorry!!! i ended up cutting out the maknae line because i felt uncomfy writing them + i think they were the reason i was being tripped up for so long :( sorry!!

choi hyunsuk

hyunsuk realizes it when you fall asleep on him one night. it isn’t the first time, and it certainly won’t be the last, but you’ve always supported him unconditionally and make time for him when it works with him. part of him feels like it might be a little unfair that you have to work by his schedule most of the time, but he always gets the reassurance that one day it’ll be easier and that keeps him going. sometimes you sleep over when he doesn’t have to worry about a schedule too early the next morning (he and his friends have become experts at sneaking you out, though) just to spend some extra time with him. he’ll be working on his own assignments while you sit on his bed and work on your own. there’s no pressure to make conversation when he needs to focus, and your presence alone is calming.

sometimes the two of you check in with each other, sometimes taking a few minutes for a break, but nothing to stop you completely from working. there always comes a point where he’ll bring his laptop over to his bed, sitting beside you to finish off his work so that you can snuggle closer to his side. he just... looks up and realizes how much he loves you when he finds that you’ve dozed off against his shoulder again. he’ll always gently nudge you away when you do, setting aside his things when his work is done, and telling you that you can go back to sleep after the two of you lie down. he’ll always lean forward to give you a little forehead kiss and apologize for working too much, even if it’s always met with you just being glad you’re there with him.

park jihoon

jihoon is busy--that much both of you are fully aware of. which means, despite the fact he’d like time for you, he rarely gets it (and it frustrates him, to be honest: it feels so unfair to you that he can’t openly spend time with you unless he’s on a break). but sometimes you’ll be let into the dorm without him knowing, and sometimes you’ll just... pretty much hang out in his room while he’s focused on his work. he’s used to people sometimes coming in to check on him when he’s really busy, so he honestly just doesn’t notice while he’s trying to keep up on his coursework. but the third time you came back into his room with a snack and his refilled water bottle (when did you even grab that?), he realizes it and apologizes immediately for not greeting you properly.

but you just give him a kiss on the cheek and ask him how his day has been, how his classes are going, an so forth. it just makes him realize how much you care about him--which isn’t to say he isn’t cared for by anyone else or that he thought you didn’t care about him. it’s different with someone he doesn’t live with and someone who makes room in their own schedule to be with him. yet you check on him every day, either with the rare in person visit or your typical texts, just to make sure he’s taking care of himself. he just loves you. and that feels right to say that he does. he’ll have to bring his studies over to your place one day so he can dote on you for once. its your turn to be cared for.

kanemoto yoshinori

despite being a ball of sunshine and kindness, yoshi sometimes gets into bad moods. everyone’s capable of it, but his friends usually picked up on it whenever he was stressed. maybe from classes, maybe he just woke up and felt off, but it was clear he needed either a person to confide in or a little bit of space until he was ready for that.

unless he got texts from you. maybe it’d be a selfie, or a picture of flowers you saw on a walk, or a dog you saw, and it was like his entire day changed. he liked sending you pictures in turn, too, of things he’d want to show you later. it takes a few times of it happening for the others to pick up on just how fast his mood changed, and hyunsuk jokingly calls him whipped before saying that he really does change--only for the rest of the group to agree. yoshi’s always been sweet, but on a bad day there’s nothing that picks him up faster than you. he really loves you, doesn’t he? and that’s how he realizes it. he loves you because you’re dating, sure, but that’s always been different from capital-L Love in his mind. but he does capital-L Love you, and that’s what makes him realize it.

kim junkyu

junkyu realizes it when you come to visit him one day. he’s waiting at the bus stop for you, watching for your bus to come in when he sees you. you have headphones on, and you look a little bored. he waves excitedly, hoping to get your attention, and yet you don’t. for a minute, he’s hurt by it: you were too focused on putting away your headphones and getting things in order, sure, but he thought you might have been watching for him.

then you step off that bus and you smile so wide at him that every bit of hurt disappears. he swears his heart swells at just how happy you are to see him, and he realizes it right then and there that he’s in love with you and always wants to see that smile. you run to greet him, and he hugs you so tight and peppers kisses onto your face--judging people be damned. he doesn’t get to see you every day, so he might as well take full advantage of having you right there in front of him. he’ll keep kissing you when you’re back at his place, but he tells you he loves you and holds your hand so tightly.

takata mashiho

mashiho realized he loved you when he realized just how much you cared for him. it was clear in the way that you’d make sure he was eating well, that he was staying hydrated and healthy and taking care of himself when things were getting rockier in his life. but one day he had asked you for a bit of space, just for a few hours, and you immediately told him that you’d be right there if he needed you--all he had to do was text you and you’d be there. he didn’t have to put up a front, to act as though he was okay. he could just be himself with you.

in the end he ended up texting you if he could come over later, and he ended up cuddled into your arms. his rough day seemed so distant when you held him, just letting him be quiet for a bit and enjoy your company. that was the moment he realized it: he didn’t have to just be happy, sweet mashiho who was funny and loving and caring toward the people in his life. he was just your mashiho, flaws and all.

yoon jaehyuk

you put the color back into his day. despite being known among his friends as one of the happiest, sweetest people they knew, jaehyuk had his off days. sometimes it was tiring to wake up and immediately have to be sunshine-y, and he’d feel those days from the moment his alarm went off. he’d drag himself out of bed and start getting ready for his day, and soon enough he’d hear his phone chime with a message from you reminding him to take care of himself.

all it took was seeing your face or whatever picture you sent him from your morning walk to class for things to start feeling right again. even if he’d feel off for a while after, your mere existence brightened his world up when he felt like it was starting to gray. he’d always text you back with a promise to eat a filling breakfast and a wish for you to take care of yourself in turn, and he’d always smile to himself when you sent back a plethora of hearts in response.

hamada asahi

asahi realized he loved you when he realized just how right things were. sometimes that came in the form of idly drawing things that reminded him of you whenever you pushed your way into his thoughts. other times, he’d be out and he’d see something small that he knew you’d love, and he’d either take a picture or buy it for you just to see the way your eyes lit up when he gave it to you.

it didn’t fully click until one day when you took a nap with him. he woke up before you did, and he looked at you with sleep-ridden eyes and it just... hit him how natural all of it seemed to feel. it felt like you had always been right there by his side, even though he hadn’t known you all his life. like things were right when you were around, because you knew him well and loved him for all that he was. it was sweet, and he smiled to himself before taking a picture of your sleeping face just to immortalize the moment.

bang yedam

he didn’t have the words for you anymore.

yedam could be a romantic, and he knew that for a fact. sometimes he wrote love songs for you, endless words at his fingertips to build lyric and melody that painted a picture of how much he loved you. he wrote songs for you before he dated you, too, to cope with the crushing stage until he discovered the feeling was mutual. everywhere he went, there was always you on the back of his mind and an itching urge to dedicate one more song to you (there always always the urge for one more song to say how he felt).

and then one day, the words stopped coming. at first, it was distressing until he realized there were no words to describe what you meant to him. he could try to pen them down, but nothing felt right. like nothing would be enough to illustrate how he felt about you. he could craft metaphor after metaphor in a song for you, but they couldn’t touch the reality of his feelings.

and after a while, he was okay with that. you were beyond words, and he loved that about you--on top of everything else.

[kuroosweakness]

domestic things the haikyuu boys do to show that they care

 ↳ it all seems too good to be true. that’s because they’re not real :’ 

━ sakusa kiyoomi 

- always let you shower first so you can get all the warm water. (but don’t too long, don’t leave him without any hot water at all :’) (or i guess u guys can shower together ... ) 

- puts your towel in the dryer before your shower. he has many, many reasons for this: 

your towel will be nice and cozy when you walk out the shower 🥺 

he’ll have to hand the towel to you, meaning he’ll have a reason to go inside the warm, steamy bathroom 

he’ll be able to wrap you tightly with the towel the moment you step out. sakusa can’t leave you abandoned with just a towel, so naturally, he’ll sit you on the bathroom counter (even with you sitting on the counter, he’s still taller <3) and dry your hair, comb your hair, pat your body dry, lotion your body, blow-dry your hair, and all the other steps of your skin-care routine 

imagine standing next to each other, staring into the mirror as you both brush your teeth, him softly side-butting you, you side-butting him back (except he moved to the side and now you just awkwardly side-butted the air ... there goes his satisfactory smirk 🙄<3) 

(just before drying your hair, he’ll rub strands of your hair between his palms to make it stick up, and stand back to admire the view. you’re adorable) 

(oh to be pampered by sakusa :’)) how does it feel to have won life?) 

(it hurts knowing we’ve never seen animated sakusa smile) 

━ kita shinsuke 

- he always walks on the outer side of the sidewalk when the two of you are walking side by side to keep you safe from the road. it’s a small, subtle gesture, but a gesture that doesn’t go overseen. this also means his left hand will always be holding your right hand 

- picks things up for you. on his way home, he’ll always call and ask if you want anything. if you have a delivery package you need to pick up, he’ll do it for you. if you want a cup of coffee from your favorite cafe, he’ll buy one for you :)

- he loves and cares for your family like his own. this goes a long way. it truly shows how important you are to him

(to those who doesn’t have a very ... good family or a family that wouldn’t be interested in caring for your partner, i’m sorry to hear about that babes :’( i can relate, we’re in this together!)

━ oikawa tōru 

- always talks in terms of “we” instead of “i”, “me”, and “you”. he always includes you in conversations so you never feel left out! whenever you are, he wants you to feel acknowledged and included. 

- defends you in every conversation. if someone were to talk badly or make unwanted remarks about you, oikawa will be right there to drag them down.  oikawa may talk a lot but it’s gotten him the advantage to be really good with his words. try winning an argument with him, you can’t (unless ur iwaizumi lol)   

- anyone that stares at you for too long, he’ll give his harshest glare. oikawa’s one of those people who can just sense bad vibes from people. he tells you all about his instincts so no “bad guys” can get to you

- relationship with oikawa = lots of pillowtalk 

━ miya atsumu 

- if you carry purses/bags around, he always offers to hold onto your purse/bag when you go to the bathroom. he’ll casually sling it over his shoulder like it’s his own, no awkwardness here! he’s proud to be your boyfriend and it shows. 

(guys who carries purses for their partners with confidence > other guys)

- if the two of you walk out of a store into pouring rain without an umbrella, atsumu will tell you to wait inside the store while he goes to start the car. he’ll drive to the front of the store so you won’t have to get wet from the rain 

(i just know atsumu’s one of those guys who looks so hot while driving without even trying- darn him <3) 

━ akaashi keiji 

- beings extra everything around for you. band-aids, hair-ties, gum, cash, an extra jacket in his trunk, a cup in case of stomach-emergencies, and even a pair of socks in case the rain seeps through your shoes. he has it all. feeling safe is one of the many good feelings you feel around akaashi 

- when you share a small umbrella, akaashi always makes sure it completely covers you, even if it means water is dripping down his shoulder. 

- when he comes across a good book, a good movie, good song, he’ll have that spark in his beautiful eyes when he tells you all about them. he wants you to also enjoy the good in his life :) (he also tells you about his past mistakes/incidents to warn you about the bad) 

━ bokuto kōtarō

- goes to bed before you, lying on your spot of the bed to warm it up. when you walk into the bedroom, you’ll see bo’s head sticking out of the covers with a huge grin. he’s so cute without even trying djkfldj 

- adores massaging you. he’ll regularly massage you, run his hand across your tummy, sit you in his lap, squeeze you with his biceps, play with your thighs, yeah it’s quite obvious how much he loves you. 

rough day? regular day? be prepared to lay on your tummy so bokuto can give you a massage :) don’t be too surprised when he attempts new massage moves that “our professional massager did on us! (msby)” 

you know what else he loves? when you massage him! he loves coming home with sore muscles to a home-made massage by the person who never fails to make him smile. not the best massage in the world, but you’re trying and he loves it more than explainable. 

- brings you the remote without complaint. puts your plate back to the kitchen without complaint. puts your clothes in the laundry basket without complaint. 

━ miya osamu 

- always offers to carry the grocery bags. even if he can barely see past the pile of bags in his arms, he’ll insist on carrying them. his competitive side comes out during times like these; he’ll try to impress you by carrying more and more each time. even with how heavy the groceries may be, he hasn’t dropped/broken anything ...yet! 

- leaves the last bit of food for you. last slice of pizza? yours. last bit of milk left? for your cereal. last piece of cake? yours. he never eats the last piece without checking with you first, no matter how hungry he is. eating food without leaving you any is like betrayal. 

- blocks the sunlight out of your eyes with his arm/hand. especially in the morning when the sunlight glares through the window. 

━ suna rintarō 

- charges your phone for you. sometimes, he’ll tap on your lockscreen to check your battery percentage when you go to sleep and charge it when the battery bar is low. you don’t have to worry about forgetting to charge your phone with suna around. 

- turns off his phone when you talk to him so you can have his full attention

- untangles your mess of cords. he always glares and heavily sighs whenever he sees tangled cords. no one knows how, but suna’s exceptionally good with untangling stuff 

━ kuroo tetsurō

- cleans the hair from your shower for you. he really doesn’t like it, but he knows you hate it more, which is why he does it for you. even though it’s not a favorite activity of his, he doesn’t really mind, it’s natural. 

- he’ll talk to the people/call the people you don’t want to. if you don’t want to say your drive-thru order, he’ll do it for you. if you want to know the price of a shirt but there isn’t a tag, he’ll talk to a store-worker for you. instead of being annoyed at you for “not being to do simple things”, he’ll help you out without a single word of complaint. there’ll be some teasing, but no harm done. he’s very understanding and patient

(my bias is showing. he’s my comfort person, what can i do :’) 

- he made up a code with you. four tugs on the hem of his shirt means you’re not feeling well/uncomfortable. (there are also many other signals and code words)

this is especially helpful when you’re out at parties, big events, malls, etc etc. as soon as he feels your tugs, he’ll whip around and study your face, leading you to a quieter place to ask how you’re feeling. if you want to go home, then home it is. 

[i-need-to-touch-grassss]

Hey saw you and got curious about your writing so I was wondering if I could have some general hcs for affogato cookie? Also welcome to the world of cookie run x reader writing! We are always happy to see a new writer!

Of course! I’ll go see what we have in the back, just a moment!

warnings: a little bit of possessive behavior

✧ GENERAL HCS FOR AFFOGATO COOKIE ✧

✧ Affogato has a whole bunch of hobbies

and he will totally share what he knows with you whether you want him to or not

talking to you is like his therapy, he likes just being in your presence and talking about things he takes an interest in

he really does love having conversations with you!

he is almost always teasing you, mostly playfully

✧ do not, and I mean under any circumstances under an emergency, wake him up at any time before 6 am

he will have a hissy fit

he'll rub his eyes and scold you on how he absolutely needs "8 hours of sleep"

and you have to try not to laugh bc he looks so silly like that

but even giggling will make him more upset

he doesn't stay upset for too long, don't worry

✧ because of his...manipulation skills, if someone is either getting flirty, too friendly, or has ill intentions, he will use his status to...eliminate the problem at hand (he didn't kill anybody, don't worry)

but that is only a sorta last resort, if he notices this kind of behavior, he will first bring it up to you and let you know what he noticed

if noting changes, that's when he tries to tell the person to back off

if nothing changes still, then he uses his last resort

✧ talking about his status, he is so totally willing to use it for you too!

want to go someplace but there aren't any more tickets left in stock?

oh, would you look at that! he managed to find somebody who had an extra (or an extra 2 if he wants to go and has time)

you look at anything for longer than 5 seconds?

it's yours now!

he will literally buy you anything

✧ he can play a few sports, but he isn't exactly strong

maybe something like tennis or golf might be something that isn't too hard for him

✧ after a long day, he just comes home, changes into comfortable clothes, and collapses into your arms

(Run your fingers through his hair, he loves it)

✧ he's pretty busy often, but he always makes time for you when he can

when its late and he's working, sometimes you need to drag him to bed, he claims he didn't know how late it was

he was working harder so he could have more time with you, he won't say it though

✧ he absolutely loves when he can just hold you close and be reassured, you're there with him

can you tell affogato is one of my favorite cookies? I had a whole bunch of ideas for him

I also read a few oneshots and hcs for him while writing so if some parts look a little familiar, it's because I had a few ideas based around some of those

I'm also so glad I've been welcomed into the crk x reader side of Tumblr

[inkrabbit]

Copia and his rats

this man is head over heels for his babies

they're so spoiled, it's not even funny

only the best for them

the best toys, best cage, organic food

Primo knows how much Copia loves his rats and has given him his own little part of the garden to grow fresh fruits and veggies for them

he also gave Copia some books to read on how to take care of said plants

whenever he goes out to harvest, he takes his rats individually and lets them choose which one they want

he starts with the oldest rat first and makes his way to the youngest

yes, he spoils them more as they age

and yes, he cries nightly knowing that he won't have them forever

never lets the rats out of his sight because he doesn't trust the others. he's scared someone will hurt them

currently has 4 rats, but he's 100% scouring the shelters and looking for more to save and adopt

he has Biscuit (beige), Buddy (black and white hooded big boy), Socrates (albino and inspired by Willard) and Lucky (Siamese lab rat he saved)

Biscuit is the oldest and sassiest. Buddy is second oldest and more laid-back. Socrates has separation anxiety and normally has to always be on his shoulder. Lucky is a menace

learned how to sew just so he could make his own little rat pouch so he could carry them everywhere comfortably and safely

because of their age, Copia will actually bring Biscuit and Buddy on tour with him. he only does this because they're the only ones who like to travel, and he also doesn't want to ever miss their final moments

only Mountain is allowed to handle his rats. everyone else makes him too nervous

but he will let them give the rats treats (that he deems safe and worthy)

the rats have their own tour cage

unlike home, they have to sleep in the cage at night because Copia doesn't want to take any chances

he makes sure to keep them out when he's around tho. they get extra playtime and cuddles

back home, all of the rats come out of their cage to sleep with him

they cuddle up around his neck and don't move until he wakes up. luckily Copia is pretty much still while he's asleep

he also took time to train them to do little tricks and follow commands

may or may not have Socrates and Lucky bring little letters back and forth if they're just going down the hall

like very small. normally ones he can fit on a sticky note, or the smaller than normal piece of paper

Secondo was so confused when he not only saw Lucky climbing up his pant leg, but the small, customized envelope in the rat's mouth

he may have also screamed because he wasn't expecting it

Lucky is fine. it just spooked him a little too

Copia apologized but laughed so hard when he was in his office

Terzo is the only Papa that genuinely loves the rats as well and the only one allowed in Copia's room to play with them

whenever Copia goes out with one of the rats, he has Aether or Sodo accompany him for extra protection. he's just worried one of his brothers' ghouls will try to get to his rats as a "treat"

will also throw mini birthdays for his rats

it's normally just him with a little self-made cake, singing to the rat

Terzo has popped in once with a little gift and it made Copia cry that he actually remembered

[smutsonian]

Mafia bucky with size kink, belly bulge, choking with vibration arm, sub space, daddy kink, creampie kink and squirting, breeding kink, maybe exhibitionism with Steve. This could lead to a part 2 as a 3 way with double vaginal penetration, no anal

that smile on her face

bucky barnes x reader

summary: mafia!bucky x reader ft. mafia!boss!steve and it’s basically just p0rn with a little bit of plot i guess.

warnings: smut, (whatevers written in the ask), violence, rumlow, not proofread, idk please tell me if I missed something.

word count: 3.1k

a/n: why was it so hard to write this fic vjhafvu im rusty with writing soz

masterlist

It was becoming too much for you. The palpable tension between the two brooding men and the looming figures of terrifying men on each side that serves as guards for both sides didn’t bring you any comfort and the fact that your boyfriend is a few feet away from you right now isn’t giving you any reassurance that this situation is under control.

 Steve, your boyfriend’s best friend, stands face to face with an unknown man wearing an eerie smile on his face but his aura is producing anything but a positive vibe while your boyfriend stands beside Steve, glaring at the strange man. You thought you remembered someone calling him Rumlow.

 You know about your boyfriend’s line of work but you never really got to witness his job with your own eyes. Life with Bucky has always been laughs and giggles, passion and love behind closed doors so you never really thought about the dangers that may come with his job. You thought you could continue to live happily and carefree with him until now. 

When you saw Rumlow turning his attention to Bucky’s louring face and smirking at the emotion he’s able to get from your boyfriend made your stomach turn. You saw Rumlow’s hand rise from his side and time seemed to stop for you when you saw a gun pointed in your boyfriend’s direction. You saw your Bucky’s jaw clenching and you couldn’t help the small whimper escaping your lips when Rumlow turns the safety off with a deafening click.

 Bucky’s eyes subtly searched your face but you weren’t looking at him. Your eyes were begging Rumlow to drop his gun and let your boyfriend be but the moment Rumlow turns to look at you, your stomach begins to feel more horrible than it already is. But you would do everything for your Bucky. You had to try.

 “P-Please don’t…” You stutter, glancing at the gun pointing towards your Bucky then looking back up at Rumlow. 

 He mockingly juts his bottom lip out, pouting at you before tilting his head to the side. “No?” He asks.

 You could only nod, ignoring Bucky who was trying his best to get your attention, for sure trying to make you stop talking to Rumlow.

 “This your girl, Barnes?” Rumlow asks, scanning your form but nobody answers him.

 Rumlow chuckles before putting the gun down, giving you a sense of relief before your breath hitches when the gun is suddenly pointed in your direction. 

 “Should I just shoot you then, little girl?” 

 Bucky’s form stiffens, as well as Steve’s and his guards, ready for an order to attack when Rumlow speaks up again.

 “Are you willing to risk your life for this motherfucker?” 

 You didn’t know if it was your nerves making you dizzy but everything went by in a flash but in slow motion at the same time. You saw Bucky side-stepping quickly towards you, his metal arm raising as if to shield you both. A bullet makes contact with his metal arm before bouncing off of it and you stare at his arm in awe before looking at him with crazed eyes. He scans you for a quick second before he rushes you both out of the place, and onto a car before caressing your face with both of his hands. The sounds of guns being fired filling your ears.

 “You shouldn’t have done that, baby girl.” His words are dark and it would’ve scared you if you didn’t know him. If he wasn’t giggling with you about a silly movie yesterday, you would’ve been frightened of him.

 When you don't answer, he tightens his grip on your face, forcing you to focus on him instead of the continuous gunfire.

 “Y-You’re arm… How did you know it would save us?” You stared at his face while your hand absentmindedly wrapped over his metal hand, caressing it gently.

 His eyes flicker to your hand on his metal ones before looking back at you with an earnest look. “I didn’t. I just know that I had to protect you.” He says, chest heaving as he finally let himself show his emotions. Something that he only does with you.

 “Y-you… You could’ve died, Bucky…” 

 “I will do anything to protect you, doll.” He presses a kiss on your forehead before the driver’s door opens and Steve crawls in, breathing heavily.

 “We gotta fucking go,” was the only thing he says before stepping on the gas.

 You did your best to ignore the blood splattered on his face and the white shirt under his black suit.

 You lay your head on Bucky’s shoulder as he hugs you extra close to him, fearing that you might slip away from him and you bask in the closeness and warmth of his body. Your brain starts to fog up, and the only words running inside it are the words your Bucky said. You snuggle closer to him, humming unknowingly in satisfaction.

 ‘I will do anything to protect you, doll.’

  Bucky Barnes watched you curling closer to him, your cheeks brushing against his arm as your eyes remained close, face finally relaxing as you go deeper into slumber. He smiled at your form, pecking the top of your head before pulling you closer to his body. 

 If someone told him that his heart would be palpitating because of a pretty little thing like you, he would’ve shot them in the head for poking jokes at him but now that you’re beside him…

 “Is she okay?” Steve’s voice cuts Bucky’s thoughts off as Steve looks at him through the rearview mirror, quickly turning back to look at him then towards his girl with worried eyes.

 “She’s resting. Calm for now.” Bucky’s jaw clenches at the thought of you producing tears for the likes of Rumlow. His heart skips a beat at the memory of that gun being pointed at you. His grip on the door handle becomes tighter while he tries his best to keep his other hand calm, the one that he’s holding you with.

 “She’ll be fine. We won’t let anything happen to her. I know you won’t. I sure as hell won’t…” Steve gives Bucky a reassuring smile, mumbling the last words under his breath. 

 The car ride was silent throughout the ride, thoughts eating up on Bucky’s mind as he thinks of Steve’s words as well as what to do with you. How to make things up for you because he’s taking the blame for you being in a very dangerous position. 

 “We’re here,” Steve states, stopping the car and getting out before quickly going over to Bucky’s side, opening the door for Bucky and a groggy you. You’re still in Bucky’s arms, already squirming into consciousness while Bucky tries to coo you back to sleep.

 “Need any help?” 

 “I got it,” Bucky answers Steve before carrying you inside the manor, Steve quietly following behind.

 Once inside, Bucky feels you squirming more and he lets you go, gently putting you down on your feet. He looks down at your face that’s looking back up at him with a blank expression. He takes note of Steve’s form leaning on the doorway.

 “Bucky…” He hears you mumble.

 “What is it, princess?” Bucky notes the way your eyes flutters at the nickname and he fights a smile that wants to force its way onto his face.

 “You almost d-died because of me,” Your sob breaks his heart and he’s suddenly on you. He’s eager to make you wipe the tears away. Eager to bring back the smile that always makes him swoon because this isn’t how he wants to see you cry. 

 “Don’t cry, princess. I’ll do anything for you even if that means getting hurt.” He continues to wipe at your tears but it was no use. You’re a broken dam right now.

 “Daddy’s here, princess. Daddy’s right here.” He whispers, not caring if Steve hears him but he takes note of the way Steve’s form stiffens by the doorway. It wasn’t hard to miss because of his broad shoulders. 

 “You trust Daddy, right, Princess?” He pulls back, caressing your face and that’s when he sees it.

 Your eyes are fogged, face wet with tears but the flow has stopped. You’re just looking at him with those foggy eyes filled with something so much intensity.

 “Yes, daddy. I trust you.” He hears you whisper and he knows you’re deep in your space right now.

 Bucky wipes your face with a cloth that’s conveniently in his pocket before walking back, away from you. You whimper at the loss of his touch but one word from him made you stop.

 “Stay.”

 Bucky feels himself grow proud at your obedience. He flicks a look at Steve before looking back at you.

 “Take your clothes off for Daddy, princess.” 

 “Steve, you fucking stay there.” He doesn’t even glance at Steve but he hears his steps stopping. You didn’t even notice his words towards Steve because you were eagerly obeying his command, stripping out of your clothes with haste.

 “Come here, princess,” Bucky motions you to come over and you do. He instantly wraps his metal hand around your throat, not clenching it at all. He just rests his hand on your throat, careful not to frighten you.

 “You trust me, princess?” He asks one more time.

 “Yes, yes I do, daddy.” You breathe out, nodding against his hold which he tightens. Bucky’s eyes flicker at how your thighs clenched together and hear the tiny moan slipping out of your mouth.

 “You like this, princess? You like my hand around your pretty little throat?” Bucky tightens his hold a little more, eyes gleaming at how his hand is covering your whole neck now. 

 “Your neck is so tiny, I can easily crush it, princess. You’re not afraid of me?” Instead of being afraid, you whine, suddenly thrusting your naked hips towards him and he chuckles at you before letting you go. 

 Bucky glances at Steve who was fixing his pants, no doubt tightening uncomfortably at the scene in front of him.

 Bucky stares at you, eyes begging for him to touch you but he ignores it before walking over to the long sofa and sitting down. He pats his lap as he calls for you which you eagerly obeyed, almost skipping your way towards his lap. You were about to straddle him when he stops you.

 He turns your body with so much ease before pulling you down, earning an “oof” from you when your back hits his hard chest. He guides your legs so they’re resting outside of his legs. He easily spreads your legs with his and he dwells at the shiver your body makes when you’re completely exposed.

 “Sit, Steve.” Bucky motions to the long sofa opposite to where the both of you are sitting and he feels you stiffening against him so he whispers soothing words in your ears. “I got you, princess.”

 Steve walks towards the sofa before awkwardly sitting. Bucky could see how much his best friend was trying to control himself but, in the end, his best friend loses his inner battle for he looks at you and then to your cunt, before looking back at you.

 “Don’t worry about Steve, princess. We can trust him. He did kill that awful man for you…” He chuckles at the way your body shivers, your stiffness has long gone now.

 “H-he did?”

 “Yes. Now let’s give Steve a little show, yeah? Show him just how fucking precious my princess is…” Bucky’s metal finger goes to your breasts, teasing each of them with equal attention. He pulls little whimpers from you here and there and he can see Steve squirming uncomfortably from across the both of you and he chuckles.

 “Don’t be shy, Steve. You can touch yourself.” Bucky’s free hand goes to your core, rubbing his fingers on your clit, making your moans grow louder.

 “But you won’t be able to touch my girl. You can just watch and you can be thankful that I’m letting you.” Bucky takes pride in how he’s able to make his best friend look so powerless when he’s the boss. Right now, Bucky is the boss though.

 “D-daddy!” You’re suddenly shaking against Bucky as you reach your first peak, your juice covering Bucky’s fingers while his other hand continues to play with your hard nipples.

 Bucky hears a groan from Steve, smirking how his friend has his hand down his pants pathetically.

 Bucky continues to play with your body, pulling a few more orgasms from you until you’re crying from all the pleasure he’s giving you. 

 Now that’s how he wants to see you cry. Only in pleasure and nothing else. Only the best for his girl.

 “Daddy, please!” You scream at Bucky, your small hands gripping his flesh hand that was on your cunt.

 “What is it, princess? Tell daddy what you want.” 

 “W-want more, daddy,” you whisper, almost shyly, and Bucky coos at your embarrassed face.

 “You need to be more specific than that, princess. Don’t be shy. You’re so fucking beautiful that you got Steve and me so fucking hard, baby.” He turns your head to the side before pressing a hungry kiss on your lips, tongue lapping every corner of your mouth before pulling away, admiring the string of saliva that connects your lips.

 “Tell daddy what you want, princess. Be more specific this time.” He whispers against your ear before nipping at it and earning another whimper from you.

 “Want your cock in me, daddy,” you finally say, begging with your hips grinding against his hard cock that’s under you. 

 He hums in approval before easily lifting you up and positioning his tip in your entrance. He looks at Steve who was looking hungrily at your slit that’s ready to take his swollen cock.

 A gaudy moan escapes from your mouth as Bucky pulls your body down his cock, your head instantly falling back to his shoulder at the feeling of his cock inside of you.

 “Fuck!” Bucky hisses at the feeling of your warm and very tight walls hugging his thick cock.

 “God, baby… You’re so fucking tight!” Bucky’s eyes shut at the feeling of your walls clenching him and he even whimpers when you start to grind against his lap, asking for more.

 He gives it to you. 

 He stares at Steve’s face as he guides your body on top of his, bouncing you on his lap while thrusting his hips into you to reach deeper inside of you.

 Bucky sees Steve’s hungry eyes staring at a certain spot as he bites his bottom lip. Bucky follows his gaze and he too, grows even more hungry, if that’s even possible, at the sight of your lower abdomen bulging out every time his cock thrusts deep inside your tight cunt.

 “Princess…” Bucky groans, stopping you from bouncing, earning a whine from you which turns into loud cries of pleasure when he starts impelling you with his cock again and again. His flesh hand goes to press on your lower abdomen to feel himself inside of you.

 The three of you groan at the scene and Bucky looks back at Steve, smirking and moaning at the same time. Seeing Steve hungrily looking at you but not being able to touch you gives him a rush. Especially when Steve is choking his own cock while he watches the both of you. Oh, Bucky loves showing people that you’re his girl.

 “D-daddy, I’m gonna—”

 “Fucking cum for me, princess.” 

 And you do. You cum with a loud cry, followed by Bucky’s loud cry as he felt your walls suffocating his cock which only gave him more motivation to pistol into you, riding your orgasm. His vibranium fingers find your clit, ignoring your tiny hands that wrapped around it.

 “Too much, daddy!”

 “Give me one more, baby! I wanna cum inside your pretty cunt,” he whispers into your ear before pressing his lips on your neck, sucking your skin with wet kisses. That seems to make you more compliant. You wanted him to cum inside you and Bucky chuckled at how your walls clenched around him at the thought.

 “Oh, you’d like that, won’t you? Want daddy to give you his cummies? Want daddy to breed you? Get you all nice and round…” 

 “Y-yes daddy!” You let out a squeal when his fingers started buzzing around your clit.

 “Yes! Cum inside of her, Buck…” Steve’s wanton voice catches both of your attention and Bucky feels your walls tighten around him when he sees you watching Steve beat his cock with his own hand, his girth swollen and ready to cum. And it’s all because of you. His girl.

 Bucky doubles his efforts, metal hand vibrating against your clit, flesh hand pressing on the bulge that his cock continues to make on your lower abdomen.

 With a few more thrust, Bucky feels his balls tightening and you must’ve felt his thick cock twitching because your walls tightened again and this time, it’s enough to make him burst his seeds into you so, with a loud grunt, Bucky pulls you down on him as his cock twitches inside you, spurting his seeds into your cunt while the head of his cock remains touching your cervix.

 With his metal fingers still vibrating against your clit, you follow him with cumming as the mixture of the feeling of him filling you up with his cum and the intense vibration of his fingers on your sensitive bud.

 Across from the both of you, Steve watches how Bucky is filling you up with his cum, and the moment Bucky’s excess cum starts slipping out from the sides of your slit, he loses it. With a whimper, Steve’s cum shoots out and his hands get covered with his thick white cum while a few lands on the floor. Steve licks his lips when he sees Bucky pulling out of you and using his metal fingers to push the fallen cum back inside of you.

 Steve, still shaking from his orgasm, watches as Bucky picks you up after covering you up with his suit jacket and walking toward the stairs. 

 He stops to look at him though.

 “Thanks for killing the bastard for her, punk.” And with a smirk, he leaves with you in his arms.

 Bucky places you on the bed before cleaning you up. His hands are gentle as he wipes his cum off your thighs and your swollen cunt before getting in beside you and wrapping you up in a blanket.

 “Thank you, daddy.” You slur before curling up beside him. He chuckles before pulling you closer to him.

 “You don’t have to worry about anything, princess. I’ll do anything for you, okay? Seems like Steve will too,” Bucky laughs but doesn’t earn a reply from you. He looks down at your face, seeing you already fast asleep with a smile on your face.

 Oh, how he loves that smile. 

 And he’ll do anything to keep that smile on his girl’s face.

 --

a/n: i just wish I did this request justice :3

taglist

General: @readermia @unlikelygalaxygiver @xoxabs88xox @anncutamarica @chaoticfiretaconerd @i-love-superhero @caffiend-queen @coconutqueen21 @jtargaryen18 @jennmurawski13 @mushyjellybeans @ninjabucky @buckstaybucky @donutloverxo @rebloggingeverything @adriannajackson @la-cey @awaywithtime @gotnofucks @empath-bunny @belovedcherry @white-wolf1940 @the-soulofdevil @mianorth @scorpiosmalfoy @rottenstyx @littlegasps

Bucky Fics: @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123

Anything Chris: @patzammit @princess-evans-addict @shadowcatsworld @notyourtypicalrose @onetwo3000 @bluemusickid @heyiamthatbitch @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @slytherinandoutasgard @chrisevanisliterallysir

Chris and seb: @harrysthiccthighss

[dauntless-gothamite]

Prove Them Wrong [9/?]

Fandom: Divergent Pairing: Eric Coulter x Fem! Reader Summary: Y/N is a Dauntless transfer from Erudite, and she has a drive, an ambition that sets her apart--it always has, even back in Erudite. She brings her perseverance (and need to prove others wrong) to Dauntless when she transfers, and she uses her mind to make her way through the initiation process. Along the way, she makes friends and enemies, and she finds herself comfortable around the man most people in Dauntless avoid at all costs: Eric Coulter. A/N: wow, it has been a while! I'm sorry it has been so long; I am pretty busy with school at the moment. But I wanted to let you all know that I see your kind asks/messages, and if I haven't answered you yet, I will soon; I appreciate each and every one of them! This chapter has the fear sim and reader accidentally skips lunch, so trigger warning for fear of not being good enough/failure, and Peter being a creep (nothing happens though). Idk how I feel about this chapter, but please let me know what you think! <3

Metal on metal woke you up, and you sat up with a start at the unpleasant sound. After scanning the room, you saw that it was just Four with his trash can lid and ladle waking everyone up, as per usual. “Alright, today is the first day of stage two, and after last night we let everyone sleep for an extra hour. So, get your asses out of bed, get dressed, and eat breakfast before reporting to the training room, and we’ll walk from there to the simulation rooms together. In one hour, we are going to start the simulations, so don’t be late!” Four announced before walking out of the room. As soon as he was out of sight, several initiates groaned in frustration.

“I am so fucking tired,” Christina said.

“Tell me about it,” you replied, lifting up your shirt to reveal the bruises on your side from your fight with Peter. Christina’s eyebrows rose in surprise.

“Holy shit! I can’t believe that was yesterday! Do you need pain meds or anything along with breakfast?” she asked, her eyes softening in concern.

“I’ll be fine,” you smiled, getting dressed as you spoke. “I just want something to eat.”

“You can say that again,” Will said as he and Tris joined you and Christina, making a small circle.

“Alright, let me get my shoes on,” you said, pulling on your already worn-in combat boots and lacing them up before the four of you left the dorm.

--

The four of you walked into the dining hall, heading straight for an empty table. As Will started filling his plate with scrambled eggs, you scanned the room, feeling someone’s eyes on you. All the other initiates were too preoccupied with making themselves eat despite how appealing the idea of taking a nap right at the table seemed. Eventually, your gaze made its way to the leader’s table, where you locked eyes with Eric, who raised an eyebrow at you as if in some kind of challenge. You held his gaze momentarily, only looking away when Tris tapped your shoulder. You looked at her questioningly, and as she passed you the serving spoon for the eggs, you realized everyone else had begun eating except for Tris, who always waited until everyone was served to eat. Old habits die hard, you supposed.

As if rudely parodying your thoughts, Peter stepped up to the table you and your friends were sitting at and said “The Stiff still doesn’t understand that here, she actually needs to eat if she wants to survive.”

“Fuck off, Peter,” Christina said, rolling her eyes.

Stepping away, Peter raised his hands in mock surrender. “I’m going, don’t worry. I just wanted to make sure you all knew that there’s no way you’ll pass the fear sims,” he smirked, turning on his heel and leaving everyone at your table annoyed and a little scared, the reminder about the fear sims bringing your anxieties about them to the forefront of your mind. And it seemed like you weren’t the only one.

“What an ass,” Will said, trying to focus on his food rather than the churning nerves in his stomach.

“You’re telling me,” Tris mumbled, and you grinned a little bit at this snarky side of her.

Just as you turned back to your food, you heard combat boots hitting the concrete behind you, and without turning around, you said “I thought we told you to fuck off, Peter.” The table had gone quiet, and you saw everyone staring at you. Dread settled over you. “It’s not Peter is it,” you asked with a wince.

“No, initiate, it’s not Peter,” Eric’s unmistakable voice chuckled from behind you. You sat up straight, turning to face the leader, who stood with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face, amused at your embarrassment.

“Sorry,” you laughed. “Obviously, I was expecting someone else.” Eric raised a brow at that but otherwise his face reimagined stoic.

“Clearly,” he replied. “I came to ask you two,” he looked between you and Will before continuing, “what you know about the latest serum developed for fear sims.”

Will shook his head, eyes wide. “Nothing, sir,” he said. With a nod, Eric turned his attention to you.

“Only that it’s more powerful, obviously, otherwise they wouldn’t need to update it in the first place, but--” you cut yourself off, suspicion that had been creeping in since Eric asked the question finally taking over.

“Anything else?” he asked knowingly.

“No, sir,” you shook your head.

“Alright,” he said unconvinced before walking away without another word.

“What was that about?” Will asked, leaning across the table towards you.

“I don’t know, I just gave the basics about why any serum would be modified, and I had this feeling… I don’t know, it just seemed suspicious that Leadership would ask us rather than Jeanine. Maybe it was a test?”

“Something like that,” Will said, trying to convince himself.

Tris, who had gone silent, stood up abruptly, tapping you on the shoulder. “I’m going to use the restroom before heading over to the training room. See you there,” she excused herself, nodding at you subtly. A few moments later, you excused yourself from the table and made your way to the nearest bathroom, where Tris stood waiting.

“Hey,” you whispered. “What’s up?”

Without wasting any time, she said “We have to tell Four what you just told Eric.” You hesitated for a minute before nodding. Something was strange about what had happened earlier, and if Tris was willing to put her trust in Four, you would too.

“You tell him,” you said after pacing the bathroom for a moment. “He knows you better anyway,” you added.

“Okay,” Tris agreed. “I’ll tell him later today if I can.”

“Good. Now, let’s get to the training room,” you said, already heading for the door.

--

“Ladies,” Peter leered as you and Tris walked into the training room and walked over to where Will and Christina were standing. As other Dauntless initiates filed into the room, Four and Eric stood at the front of the room, surveying the crowd.

“Okay,” Eric said, stepping forward to address the nervous crowd. “Everyone follow Four and me, we are taking you to a holding room where you will wait to be called for your first fear simulation. Let’s go,” he barked out the order after explaining, and he and Four started walking through the hallways, stopping once they reached a stark, white room with benches lining two of the walls.

“Take a seat, give us a minute to set up, and then we’ll start calling you into those rooms,” Four said, pointing to the two doors on the back wall.” Then, he and Eric disappeared, each through one of the doors, and the room went silent as initiates fidgeted in their seats. After about a minute, Four and Eric popped their heads out of the doors, calling names, and the fear sims had begun. The initiate in Four’s testing room walked out thirteen minutes later on wobbly legs, pale and sweaty. Thirty seconds later, the initiate in Eric’s room walked out in tears. All the initiates in the waiting room looked around, the reality of the situation settling over them, becoming real in a way that it hadn't been before. As the next pair of names was called, the two people who had been selected stood up much more hesitantly than the first pair of initiates had, and Eric glared at one of them, who you recognized as Selene. You watched as the other woman steeled herself and walked faster, more confidently, towards Eric’s room, the door slamming shut behind her.

--

Minutes seemed to stretch on forever, and each initiate walked out looking worse than the last. You’d fallen into a kind of stupor, choosing to focus on what you know, facts that could keep you grounded. Fact number one: it was a simulation. Fact number two: even if the sim caused a real-time trauma response in the body, which it seemed like it did, no one had ever died from a panic attack--at worst, you pass out and your body “resets” in a way. Fact number three: neither instructor would let something truly terrible happen. Four wasn’t malicious, and Eric had mentioned your potential; he wasn’t going to let someone who could help the faction in the future die. A part of you hoped he cared about you as an acquaintance after the limited time you two had spent together. It wasn’t enough to be a friendship, but it was more than anyone else had with the ruthless leader. As your mind wandered to thoughts of your time with Eric, you reminded yourself to stick to facts only; those were certain, they were grounding. Before you could continue talking yourself out of thinking about feelings rather than facts--fear is technically a feeling, something deep inside the crevices of your mind echoed, as if tying tall of he thoughts you’d been having for the past hour or so up in a pretty knot, Eric opened the door to his testing room and made eye contact with you. “You’re up, initiate,” he said. You rose to your feet, and walked forward. It was time to face your fears.

--

You stood in the middle of a crowd, arms and legs tied together, mouth gagged. Your muscles ached; you’d been fighting for hours, and your mind was sluggish after so much exertion. Looking at the faces around you, you saw the faces of various people who had appeared in your life, ranging from your friends and family to a Factionless man you’d seen on the street a year ago. “It’s okay,” they said, speaking in one echoing voice. “We know you did your best.” You looked down at yourself and saw blood and grime, and your cheek stung as a salty tear rolled down your face. Inside your mind, you knew that there was a second part to that statement, something the voices had left to say. You stared into the eyes of your father as he said in a foreign chorus of voices “your best just wasn’t enough.” Suddenly, you knew this fear; you’d been here before, maybe in your nightmares once. If the simulator plays off the subconscious, you thought, then it can only use things I already have the capacity to imagine. So how would I get out of this? You considered. You saw a knife strapped to the ankle of one of the strange bodies surrounding you, and despite your hands being bound, you made a grab for it. As you reached for the knife, the ground opened up beneath you, transforming the space around you into a cell. There was blood on your hands, and Dauntless leadership stood outside the cell beside your parents.

“You did what you had to do,” your mother reassured you. “You’ll get out of there soon.”

“I-I didn’t do anything wrong,” you defended, despite being unsure of what had happened. Max stepped forward.

“No, you did what you had to do. That child was a threat to us all.” And, much like the last scene, you realized what the fear was in one horrific moment. You had killed someone, someone young. It was self defense, you’re sure of it, but that didn’t change the guilt that you felt. What if, even though you could perform your Dauntless duties you couldn’t handle the emotional aftermath? Before you had the chance to spiral, you caught a glimpse of Eric’s tall figure walking around beyond the cells. If he can live with himself, balancing the good with the bad, you thought, remembering all the times he had yelled at initiates as well as the time he let you sleep in his apartment, then so can I. Survival first, there will be time for guilt later. And then the scene changed again.

You were in the fighting ring, and Peter stood over you. “Someday, I will beat you,” he whispered threateningly. “And when I do, I will show you which one of us really holds the power.” An adrenaline rush unlike any other came over you as Peter’s words sank it, and without a second thought, you headbutted him, standing up.

“You are a coward!” You yelled. “Threatening me with something like your pathetic manhood just to feel more in control? It’s because you can’t beat me unless I’m scared, and you think you can scare me.”

“It worked, didn’t it?” Peter smirked. You rushed at him, and as your fist collided with his face, you woke up.

“Well, that was fast,” Eric drawled from beside you. You were startled, having forgotten he was there, but you managed not to flinch. You looked up at Eric and locked eyes with him.

“Did I do well?” you asked, only shaking slightly as you came down from the adrenaline high.

“Yes,” Eric nodded. “Now, get out of here. I have more initiates to test.” With a deep breath, you rose from the chair, stumbling slightly, and Eric steadied you. “Careful, I’d hate for one of our top initiates to accidentally fall into the chasm just because they aren’t used to the feeling of the serum wearing off and coming down from the adrenaline spike.”

“Thanks,” you said with a tight smile as you slid out of his grasp and walked out of the room, carefully avoiding your fellow initiates’ stares.

--

After wandering the halls for a while, taking care to avoid the chasm, you grabbed your bag from the dorm room and searched for a quiet spot to read, settling on an empty training room that was a little smaller than the one you and the other initiates had trained in. After settling down on a surprisingly clean sparring mat, you reached into your bag for the book your father had given you on visiting day. You were almost done with Eric’s book, and you knew if you read it now you’d finish it, but your mind wanted to get lost in another world, which was why the book your father had given you, titled Mythos Priories: Origin Stories and Mythologies From Around the World, was the perfect book to read right now. You took a moment to admire the beautiful quetzal that graced the front cover of the book, vibrant scales and feathers lined with gold amazing you every time you looked at them. You opened the book and began reading, content to get lost in the legends of long ago for the time being.

--

Some time later, about fifty pages into the book, someone stopped in the doorway, cleared their throat, and said “Well, this is unexpected.” You turned to see Eric, trying to keep your annoyance at being interrupted under control. “You know this is a private training room, right?” he questioned.

“No, I did not,” you replied with a frown as Eric walked over to you. “The door was open,” you shrugged.

With a short laugh, Eric said “Just because a door is open, doesn’t mean you should enter,” and you studied his face, unsure if he was being serious or messing with you. His possibly serious demeanor changed in an instant though, as he looked down at your book and plucked it with your hands, grinning. “Origin stories and Mythologies, how interesting,” he said, looking at the cover of the book before opening it back up to where you had stopped reading. “Japanese mythology?” he asked, skimming the page.

“Yeah,” you nodded enthusiastically. “It’s so interesting and overlooked, as are most Eastern mythologies, in academia in favor of Western mythologies. I mean, everyone knows the Greek and Roman myths, but this stuff is much less common,” you said, excited, and Eric smiled a bit at your enthusiasm.

“I thought you were done with Erudite?” he teased.

“I am!” you defended yourself. “I just like reading…”

Eric nodded before saying “I would keep that a secret if I were you,” he advised. “Wouldn’t want anyone doubting your loyalties before you’re even a fully-fledged member of Dauntless.” You searched his eyes for a threat in the statement, but there was none that you could see, and you nodded, taking the book back. “Are you done with my book?” Eric said, breaking the semi-awkward silence that had fallen between you two.

“I’m almost done with it,” you said. “I just wanted something a little more fantastical, after, you know…” you trailed off. Eric nodded in understanding.

“You did well. It gets easier, you know.” It came out stiffly, but you knew that was his way of offering comfort, and you smiled in thanks. “Now, if you don’t mind, I was going to train in here, so either get ready or get out,” Eric said, crossing his arms. You sat there for a moment, shocked, before making a split-second decision to join him in training.

With a nod, you stood and gathered your things, put them on a bench near the wall, and jogged back to the mat.

--

You groaned as Eric kicked your leg out from under you, sending you harshly to the mat once again. “Damn it,” you forced out, propping yourself up on your elbows. Eric only grinned at you smugly. “I am still an initiate, no need to be so smug about beating me,” you muttered as you stood up, feeling new bruises develop on your already tender skin. You expected the leader to scowl; your exhaustion had lowered your sense of self-control, and this wasn’t the first snarky remark you’d made to him. Instead, he raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“Well, well, it appears someone gets hangry,” he said, checking the clock. You followed his gaze and saw that it was already dinner time--how had you missed lunch? Usually you didn’t let time get away from you like that, but after the fear landscape, you’d delved into reading and training, and the hours had flown by faster than you’d realized.

“Sorry,” you said sheepishly. “I guess I read through lunch,” you explained.

Eric’s demeanor changed in an instant. “You didn’t eat lunch? And still trained with me? What the hell is wrong with you?” You winced a little, feeling like an idiot. He wasn’t yelling at you, but you could feel the disappointment radiating off of him.

“It was an accident; I guess I just read through it, I--” you started to explain, and you were glad your face was flushed from training because it hid the embarrassing pink flush across your cheeks.

“It’s fine… this time,” Eric said, a little calmer than before. “Just… you know you could pass out if you do something like that again.”

“I know. I didn’t mean to, I promise.”

Eric nodded and gathered his things, and you did the same. “Let’s go; it’s dinner time and I am walking you to the dining hall to make sure you don’t pass out on the way there. Make sure to eat something.”

“I will! I-” you said, a little defensively, before cutting yourself off. You were about to say “I promise”, but that felt too intimate, too personal. Was it weird to make promises, especially ones like that, to your leader? You supposed it was already weird to train in a private room with your leader, so after a moment of consideration, you finished the sentiment, locking eyes with Eric as you said “I promise.” He nodded curtly, and the two of you walked out of the training room together, bags in hand, and made your way to the dining hall.

Tag List: @shykoolaid, @taina-eny, @parabatai-winchester, @marvel-ousnesss, @kid-from-new-zealand, @polychr0matic, @maan24, @abysshaven, @darkenwolfie, @adaydreamaway08, @ssa--holmes, @poisonmenegan, @hannibalsslut, @louiselikeswriting, @haroldpatterson, @urgrlfnm

[no-droids]

Whenever You Want

Part Fourteen of the Rough Day Series

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11.2K

Warnings: Listen there is some dirty smut in this one yall okay like I was blushing when I wrote it, it has a very stark beginning and theres a pagebreak afterwards if you would prefer to skip over it. Smut includes oral sex (female receiving) rough sex, sensory deprivation, butt stuff (ass to mouth, anal fingering/penetration) so PLEASE LOOK OUT FOR IT PLEASE. Also there is jealous/possessive mando in this, season 1 Karga makes another appearance, and some angst/fluff towards the end

A/N: Nothing much today yoditos just love you all

***

Din said he’d meet you here.

You’re currently sitting across from Greef Karga in a cantina on Nevarro, a closed shield next to you and a blaster tucked into the back of your waistband, hidden underneath your shirt.  You’re barely even looking at him, though—your eyes are attached to the door by an invisible string, forcing your gaze back to it no matter how much it bounces around the room.

You don’t know where Din is, you haven’t seen him in hours.  But you do know that when he left, he was moving slower than you’re used to.  You don’t think anyone else would notice, but you sure did.  Not that he was obvious about it—you only picked up on very subtle hints.  Leaning up against things just a bit more than he usually does.  Taking slightly longer exiting the ramp of the Crest than his normal strides would carry him.

He didn’t say what he was going to do—just that he needed to find someone before meeting with Karga, and you accepted it.  But truthfully, you didn’t want to.  You were worried about him—still are, actually.  But for all intents and purposes, he was speaking and acting like himself, showing no real signs of exhaustion other than the smallest instances you described before, so you didn’t really have a leg to stand on.  He’s been through way worse, and you know it.  You just… find yourself worrying about him so much more than you used to, and you need to learn how to gain some control over that part of you.

The kid was still passed out from healing him and you remember Din carefully setting four pucks down in the sleeping baby’s sphere and giving his ears a gentle rub between leather fingers.  He turned back to you and told you to meet him at the cantina in three hours, but if it ended up taking him too long for any reason, to try your best to see if Karga will let you exchange on his behalf.

Admittedly, he didn’t sound too confident about it—the instructions were delivered with a tone that implied a doubtful, just-in-case scenario he wasn’t foreseeing happening.  Or maybe he just doubted the likelihood of Karga agreeing to do business with you, you’re not entirely sure.  All you know is that when he left, you were almost certain he wouldn’t be late, but you also took the time to grab the smallest blaster from his armory before heading out just in case.

Yet—here you are, three and a half hours later, eyes flicking between the door and Karga as you attempt to keep up polite conversation.  After turning down his offer of alcohol for the fifth time and still not seeing any glimpse of beskar coming to your rescue, you figure this may be as good a time as any to start the exchange.

During an extended break in the small talk, you slowly reach over to the corner of your booth and press a button on the face of the kid’s shield.  It hisses open and you completely miss the way Karga’s hand raises while three of his guards automatically reach for their hips.  The little green monster is still snoozing comfortably while you pull out the four glowing pucks Din left you and set them on the table one by one.

They scrape along the top of it as you slowly push them over to him, before sitting back in the booth and clearing your throat, flicking your eyes between Karga and his guards.  To you, nobody appears to have moved, so you muster a polite smile at him.

Karga smiles back, but makes no move to gather or inspect the offerings in front of him.

“Um…” you say after a moment, suddenly feeling your heart start to beat a little faster.  “Mando… Mando gave me permission to exchange on his behalf.”

“I believe you,” he drawls out in response, but the pucks still sit untouched in front of him as he leans back in the booth and studies you.  “Mando has always had a… let’s say, a frustrating penchant for disregarding the pillars of our code.  My apologies, young lady, but I’m afraid that I cannot accept these from you.”

Your voice comes out quieter than you’d like it to sound.  “Why not?”

“It is… unlawful,” he answers after a moment.  “Our organization operates under strict rules.”

Does it?  You blink.  No, it doesn’t.  You’re nothing to the Guild and you’ve sat next to Din quite a few times while Karga talked, listening to him drunkenly boast about return rates and out members by name.  You’re not sure why he’s barring you like this, but you’re also not self-assured enough to put practically any spine into it whatsoever.  “I’m… afraid I don’t understand.”

“I cannot legally do guild business with individuals not recognized as members in an official capacity,” he sighs, sounding grave and almost apologetic about it, but you don’t know him well enough to know if he’s a good actor or not.  “There’s nothing I can do for you besides provide you with my company, not until Mando decides to show.”

Well now that doesn’t make any sense, and you’re starting to worry that for some reason or another, he isn’t going to show.  Though it was incredibly well concealed, you’re well aware that Din was still lingering in the final recovery stages when he left the Crest earlier and all you have to go on is his word that he’d be here.  Something could’ve happened.  Something could be happening right now, you need to push.

“People pick up bounties for extra credits all the time,” you mumble, still way too fucking quiet about it.  Maker, you’re not even sure if he could hear that over the sound of the cantina.  Speak up, speak up.

“Yes, but those quarry are listed on the New Republic’s most wanted database,” Karga acknowledges diplomatically, educating more than he is arguing, before uncorking the bottle of glowing blue alcohol in front of him and beginning to pour himself another shot.  “They’re fodder.  Up for grabs—names, last known locations, and biometrics published for the entire galaxy to read.”  He tilts his head down at the four metal pucks on the table without removing his gaze from the gradually filling glass.  “Those pucks are different, they’re commissions.  Tied specifically to Guild contracts.”  Karga clunks the bottle back down again and corks it, pinning you with a stare.  “For all I know, you could’ve murdered a member of our ranks and come to collect payment for his bounties.  Can’t have that.”

Your blood suddenly turns to ice at the implication, eyes wide and your heartbeat rocketing as you look from Karga to the three guards casually stationed behind him.  “You—You think I murdered Mando?”

“No,” he says, easily and in the very same breath, before throwing the shot back and wiping his mouth with a grimace.  “Not sure I’d care too much if you did.  It’s not my rule, but I am required to follow it or risk losing my position in the Guild.”

Shit.  Shit.  What do you do?

You’re blank, left quiet and feeling increasingly unsure of how to proceed.  Karga, however, seems completely unbothered and even appears to be enjoying himself and your company.  He gives you another smile, this one a lot friendlier and more genuine than the one earlier, before setting his elbows on the table and leaning forward.

“Look, I want to help you,” he admits, keeping his tone light, “but my hands are tied.  Just relax and share a drink with me until he gets here, it’s not a problem.”

Fuck, you don’t like this, and a quick look around brings another reminder of Din’s continued absence.  Your chest feels tight, the anxiety starting to compound and make you jumpy.  It’s been too long—it’s been at least forty minutes or so of waiting by now and something just feels wrong about this.  Not having him next to you feels wrong enough on its own, but when he specifically told you he’d be here?

You clench your jaw and try to work up your nerve.  Karga is a nice guy, right?  He knows you by name, he knows who you are to Mando.  And while you never really thought about the bounty hunter’s omnipresent protection as being anything other than metaphorical, you suddenly realize that… it might be literal, too.  How much sway do you actually have here, you wonder?  You’re not stupid, you’re not going to try anything stupid, but maybe just another question won’t hurt?

“Well, um… how do you become a member, then?”  You ask him, and you watch as he leans back in the booth, raising both eyebrows at you.

“Excuse me?”  He asks, though there’s a genuine amusement in his voice.  Stunned that you’d even say the words aloud.

“I have four bodies,” you tell him shortly.  You’re still quiet about it, but his thoroughly entertained astonishment is beginning to rub you the wrong way.  You don’t want to be part of the Guild, you don’t want to be here, you’re doing this out of growing necessity.  “One of which I dragged through a blizzard on Hoth by its ankles and put into carbonite myself, so please just tell me what I have to do to get you to take them.”

“I can’t,” he repeats, shaking his head like you’re just not getting it.  “New members are only accepted if they bring in an S-level criminal from the database or if they complete a commission that was granted to them by someone of my station—neither of which apply to you.  If you cannot present me with any sort of reasonable argument for which they could, then I’m afraid this is not a favor I can swing.”

“I was sitting right here,” you return, suddenly finding your voice.  If Karga wants an argument from you to get this to happen, then you’ll do it.  You just need to finish this exchange, go back to the Crest, and scan around for Din’s signal.  “When you first gave the pucks to Mando, I sat right here and you pushed them over to this side of the table—I was present for the commission and now I’m here to complete it.”

He shakes his head.  “But I didn’t give them to you, I gave them to Mando—”

“Yes, but you only wanted to give him three,” you immediately point out.  “The last one, the one I told you I put into carbonite—you said you threw it in because you liked me, it could’ve been for me.”

Karga suddenly stops and blinks at you for a few seconds, and you bite your lip, wondering if the logic will hold.  It’s flimsy as fuck and you know he could very easily rip it apart if he wanted to.  It could’ve been for you but it wasn’t, he gave it to Mando.  You also purposefully leave out the fact that you’re also the reason Mando only gave him three bodies in the first place; your only goal here is to complete this transaction as quickly as possible and leave.  You don’t like the fact that it’s taking Din so long, and you also don’t like the fact that Karga seems so keen on keeping you here with him, no matter how many reassurances he provides.  He said he wants to help you?  This can be his chance to prove it.

After a few extended moments of consideration, Karga finally shrugs like he really couldn’t care less before reaching across the table for the pucks and beginning to stack them in his palm.

“What is your last name?”  He asks, turning behind him to gesture for one of his men with a jerk of his head.  The bodyguard exits the cantina without another word and your eyes flick back to Karga’s.

“Why does it matter?”  You ask uncertainly, watching another guard approach with a holopad as he shrugs once more.

“It doesn’t, but we need something for our records,” Karga explains, grabbing the device as it’s tapped against his shoulder without removing his gaze from yours.  “I can just use Doe if you don’t feel like sharing—most of our members tend to prefer anonymity, including your companion.”

Your eyebrows furrow even as your heart continues to pound, wondering how they can afford to be so lax about some things but take others so seriously.  “You have him down as John Doe?”

“First name Man,” Karga grunts in response, finally breaking eye contact to begin navigating through pages on the holopad.

“Ah,” you say shortly, knowing you’d probably find the joke funny in other circumstances.  You’re not out of the trenches yet, you still feel the worry tugging hard at your chest.

“Very well,” Karga announces with a sigh, pocketing the pucks in his leather overcoat and then handing the holopad back to one of the men flanking him after a moment.  “Someone is collecting the carbonite plaques from your vessel as we speak.”

You give him a nod, taking a deep breath that you hope is slow and subtle enough to not give your anxiety away.  He helped you out, you’re halfway through this.  Now comes the exchange.  Now it’s his turn to give you the credits and four more pucks, that’s how this should go.

Only, Karga leans back in his seat and cocks his head at you.  “Unfortunately, I believe we have found ourselves in the midst of yet another predicament.”

Your heart continues to slam, praying you haven’t somehow majorly fucked things up by getting this far.  Din still isn’t here, why is he so fucking late?  He nearly froze to death and you handled a dead body just to make this meeting on time, where the fuck is he?

You raise an eyebrow at him, willing the building panic not to show on your face.  “Have we?”

“You’re lucky credits are attached to commissions instead of rank within the Guild,” he prefaces, pulling out a large handful of them to begin counting, and your eyes flick around the cantina while you know he isn’t looking, “or else you’d be getting about half of what I’d normally give him.”

Heart galloping when you still don’t see any sign of him, you just decide to keep extra quiet as you watch Karga divvy out a sizable stack of credits, hoping your prolonged silence will protect you somehow.

“The question now becomes…” he lifts an eyebrow at you while sliding them across the table to you, “how many pucks do I give you in return, hm?”

Fuck, you don’t like this, you’re trying to make it crystal fucking clear that your intentions do not extend beyond the perimeter of this table.  There’s no you to be found in this deal, you’re just an emergency proxy in Din’s absence and you only inserted yourself in the situation to accomplish that task.  “I told you I’m only here to exchange on Mando’s behalf, that’s it.”

“Be that as it may…”  Karga glances around the cantina like he’s thinking extra hard about it.  This is a made-up problem, you both know there’s no predicament here.  He knows you didn’t kill Mando, he knows there’s no real reason to be giving you such a hard time about this, and you clench your jaw as he still seems to take his time considering it.  “Tell you what, young lady,” he finally turns back to you.  “Do me the honor of sharing one sip of this fine spotchka with me and I’ll give you four pucks to pass along to Mando.”

Okay.  Okay, you can do that, if he really cares that much.  Karga gestures for the closest droid to come by with a glass for you, but you just grab the bottle in front of him and uncork it without thinking too much, balancing the glowing blue liquid with two hands and diligently taking a small sip of it before setting it down again.  Appearing satisfied with your demonstration of upholding your end of the bargain, Karga grins and reaches into another pocket.

“Four for Mando,” he pushes four pucks across the table, “same rate and return as last time, as promised.”  You nearly deflate in relief as you quickly gather them up and begin dropping them into the snoozing baby’s shield along with the credits, but then Karga reaches back and pulls out another puck, pushing it over to you.  “And one for you.”

You blink at him, frozen in place.

“Lowest level, lowest pay.  Not even a criminal by New Republic standards, just a missing person,” he goes on to say, but then quite suddenly… 

Quite suddenly you’re absolutely fucking horrified.

You don’t want it.  Everything inside you surges up to scream that you do not want that puck.  It’s a waste of time, even if it’s an extra job—it’s too much trouble, too much fuel for such a small reward.  You already know good and well that Din won’t want to bother, getting this extra puck would be considered a detriment to him.

“What if I don’t want it?”  You ask, sounding nervous and vaguely out of breath as you look down at it.

Karga scoffs.  “Of course you don’t.  Nobody wants these, why do you think I’m trying so hard to pawn one off on you?”

Shit.  This is not at all how you expected any of this would go.  You know he’s not really asking, even if his tone and continued courtesy implies it’s only a request.  There’s an expectation attached to this, and it appears you take too long pondering an offer that isn’t actually voluntary.  Karga stares at you and your clear apprehension for just a few seconds more, before finally giving you an ultimatum.  “You said you’re here on his behalf.  You either take all five pucks now or Mando only gets three next time, your choice.”

Oh.  Oh, no.  This is a lose-lose; three pucks means more fuel and less credits, five pucks means more fuel and less credits.  It’s not like you have any real bargaining power here—almost everything he’s done for you today has been a favor of some sort and you’re well aware that things can always get worse.

Still, you take a deep breath and try your best to throw around whatever weight you have left in one final agreement.

“Give me your word you’ll go back to giving him four from now on, no more hassling or hard time constraints and we’ll take it just this once,” you tell him, trying to conjure and put power behind your words even though you’re unsure if they’ll stick.

“Deal,” Karga readily agrees with a smile, reaching his hand across the table.  You have no choice but to meet him in the middle and clasp it, unable to feel anywhere close to good about your performance here.  It was clunky and insecure and even though you just barely succeeded in making the exchange overall, you’re massively disappointed in the specifics.

But then Karga’s eyes quickly flick over your shoulder.

“Ah, Mando!”  He suddenly calls out, and your hand nearly snatches away from his while your body goes rigid.

Oh, this isn’t good, this is not good.  Well, it’s good that he’s here but it also really fucking isn’t.  You don’t even turn your head; you sit completely straight and still while the cantina falls to a hush and heavy footsteps begin to approach behind you.  You fucked up—you fucked up, you didn’t wait long enough and you feel the sharp regret instantly twist in your stomach.  He said he’d be here, why didn’t you trust him?  Your anxiety and stress compounded and spurned you to act too quickly, you made the deal a few fucking seconds before he showed up.

And, as Din eventually comes into your peripheral, taking his time leaning his rifle up against the table, you immediately realize that you should not have worried.  Recovery isn’t even a word in his vocabulary right now—he’s more intimidating than he’s ever been, more powerful and certain and dangerous while he lowers himself into the seat next to you than he’s ever felt to you before.  Everything is so quiet now that he’s here; you feel like even just swallowing against the sudden dryness in your throat turns into an audible gulp.  The man sitting across from you may own this cantina and every material good under its roof, but the one sitting by your side feels like he steals the literal air from the room just by walking inside it.

Yet, in spite of the daunting presence of the Mandalorian, Karga beams and tips his glass at him.  “I believe you’ve arrived just in time for your favorite part of the conversation, friend.  The farewells.”

You stare wide-eyed down at the table as Din leans back into the booth and very slowly extends his arm behind your shoulders, saying nothing at all to him.

The testosterone is radiating from him to the point of near suffocation, you can taste the alpha in the air.  Your heart slams in your chest at the unspoken claim he just made with a subtle movement, and though you’ve never been one for masculine displays, this one weirdly feels… good right now.  You know it’s primitive and crude and you’re not a piece of meat to be fought over, but it doesn’t feel like that at all.  It’s the immediate feeling of security that serves to heat your cheeks, the fact that you’ve been a nervous mess trying to be extra brave this whole interaction and then suddenly you have the backup of an entire army contained within one single suit of armor next to you.

If you weren’t internally panicking at how badly you screwed this shit up, you’d probably be going fucking feral for him right now.

Karga says your name and your gaze snaps to his, feeling like you can’t breathe.  “My associate has collected the plaques, nothing keeps you here any longer.  It was a pleasure doing business with you.”

Still, nobody at the table moves.

After a moment, you carefully glance up and to the side at the sharp, metallic profile of his helmet.  Maker, you can’t explain it—it’s like you feel terrified but not really for yourself, if that makes sense.  You’re upset with yourself for not having enough trust in his word, absolutely, but something in Din’s demeanor tells you that he’s going to be considerably less understanding of how Karga handled this situation than the way you did.

The helmet slowly turns down to look at you, and you bite your lip while carefully placing your hand on his thigh brace under the table, letting him feel your fingers brush against the bend of his knee.

He turns back to Karga after a few seconds, still not saying a single word, until eventually Din’s arm is lifted from behind your shoulders and you feel his leather fingers gently clasp your hand, before he starts to rise from the booth and pull you along next to him.  You both stand, and he silently presses a button on his vambrace without dropping your grip, urging the kid’s shield to follow along behind him.

“Um, goodbye,” you just barely remember to tell Karga as Din begins leading you away, apparently not waiting for the polite farewells he arrived in time for.

“Wait!”  A voice calls out just before you can make your exit, and Din pauses just in time for Karga to extend that damned fifth puck out for you to grab.  Right in fucking front of him.  “Can’t forget this!”

Fuck.  Great.  Thanks.

Blood rushes to your face while you go to reach for it, taking the puck and then placing it in the open shield along with four others in a way that you hope is casual but you know isn’t.  You close the lid on it and then squeeze Din’s hand slightly, but he stays rooted to the spot for a few more seconds, having watched the entire exchange play out.  Though you obviously wouldn’t be able to read his facial expressions even if you could lift your head to look up at him, you can’t will yourself to do so right now.  You’re too disappointed in yourself and nervous—you just stand there silently as he looks back at Karga, staring at your feet and praying he doesn’t do anything brash.

After too many moments of uncertainty, you squeeze his hand again and slowly begin to pull on it.  Without needing much pressure at all, he goes where you go, and you end up being the one to lead Din out of the cantina by the hand still tangled with yours.

*** 

The walk back to the Crest lasts an eternity.

Neither one of you say anything at all to each other the entire way there, and you know he’s not mad at you yet, but you’re worried.  You feel incredibly self-critical right now and it’s really not helping that he seems even quieter and more wound up than usual.  You don’t know if it’s because he already figured out that you just handed him extra work or if it’s because whatever made him late to the cantina also altered his mood, hit a reset button and reminded him of the way he used to be, the armor he’s wearing.  Was there a confrontation, you wonder?  Is he okay?  He seems like he’s… extra Mandalorian right now, there’s not really a better way to describe it.

He doesn’t drop your hand, though.  As you pass through the markets and shanty huts lining the streets, Din holds onto you.  Shoulders tense and strides heavy, but his fingers stay tangled in yours.

Regardless, you keep your mouth shut and eventually the Crest comes into view.  The ramp drops to the ground and the three of you make your way up, and you have enough foresight to carefully drop Din’s hand and lead the baby’s shield over to the unused cot built into the hull walls, closing him in a safe quiet place to sleep and continue building up his strength again.

You turn around to see Din press another button on his vambrace.  He stays with his back to you as the ramp slowly closes, but as soon as it latches up against the hull and locks into place, he nearly whips around and suddenly he’s right in front of you, gloves cupping your face.

“What happened?”  He asks sharply, the helmet looking you up and down.  “Are you alright?  Why did you look so scared?”

You reach up to rest your hands on his, blinking up at him and not knowing what to say.  How are you going to tell him?  He’s gotta waste extra fuel and time on a bullshit quarry because of you, what are you going to say?  You don’t even know if it’s last known location is nearby; he might have to fly to some remote, desolate corner of the galaxy just for a handful of credits because you couldn’t wait a fucking hour for him.

“I, uh…  I-I’m sorry, I just…”  But it’s nearly impossible to form a coherent thought when he’s this close to you and sounding fucking sincere, genuinely concerned about you while you’re stuck worrying about how to break the bad news to him.  “Oh, stars, um…”

“Did Karga fuck with you?”  He asks in that same sharp tone when you don’t finish your thought, but you’re so absorbed in your own conflict that you barely even hear him.  “Because I can go back right now, the cantina is just—”

“Okay wait, please—” You suddenly speak up, “before I tell you, just… please keep in mind that I did save your life two days ago, so…”

“Sweet girl,” Din rumbles slowly, a subtle warning for you to hurry up and spit it out.  His fingers tighten just slightly on your cheeks, still so gentle but needing you to communicate with him right now.

Tell him, you just need to tell him.  If he gets mad, then he gets mad, but at least he’ll know at that point and you won’t just be springing it on him out of nowhere.

“I fucked up,” you breathe out, eyebrows pulling up in the middle as you tighten your own grip on his hands.  “I’m so sorry, I fucked up and you were late and I got nervous and I didn’t wait long enough and I tried to make the exchange like you asked me to but then I had to take a fifth puck and I didn’t want to but Karga threatened to short change you next time around unless I agreed to take an extra one for the lowest pay just this once and I didn’t have any bargaining power and you showed up right after I agreed to the deal and I’m so so sorry—”

You cut yourself off with your own ragged gasp, not having paused once to breathe throughout the entire thing while your expression twisted up with regret more and more the longer he allowed you to speak.

Din stands there in front of you and doesn’t move, hands still attached to your face.

“Okay,” he eventually tells you.  Stunted words, like he’s trying extra hard to find them when yours just fell out of your mouth in a complete mess.  “It’s okay.  You did… good.”

The silence is tense and you’re becoming more and more anxious the longer he takes to speak.  He’s lying for your benefit, he must be.  When he drops his hands from your face and takes a full step back, you take the gesture as symbolic and nearly launch into panic.

“Maker, I’m so sorry I didn’t wait for—”  You start to say, but Din cuts you off.

“Did he make you…”  His back suddenly goes a little straighter, voice finding a quiet edge through the modulator as his fingers subtly twitch at his sides, “…Uncomfortable?”

You pull back at the sudden change in subject and furrow your eyebrows.

“Who, Karga?”  You have to think about it.  Did he make you uncomfortable, or were you just uncomfortable already?  You might’ve just been scared because you were making it scarier than it really was, you can admit that’s a valid possibility.  “Um… no?  I don’t know, not… not really, I don’t think.”

“No?”  He asks, taking a small step forward.  “You don’t know?  Or not really… you don’t think?”

You know you can only see the blade of his visor, but something makes you feel like you’re looking right in his eyes.  You even go back and forth between where you’re pretty confident each one is, trying to read his intentions right now.  It’s like he’s purposefully trying to keep space between you even though he looks like he wants to move closer, fisting his hands at his sides when he looks like he wants to touch you.

“No, he just… lowballed me towards the end of it and I got intimidated, but I’m also not…”  Your expression narrows in concentration while you try to find the words to explain yourself, wanting to be as honest as possible with him.  “I don’t know, I’m not like you.  I’m not that strong, but I’m trying to get better.  I think he was probably just being normal.  He did offer me alcohol a bunch, but I’m pretty sure he also did that last time, so—”

“And I didn’t like it the last time he did it,” Din says quietly, taking another small step forward.

You blink up at him, completely dumb.  This is what’s bothering him?  Is he really not upset with you at all for giving him more work?  It’s like the major fuckup on your behalf just went in one side of the helmet and out the other, he barely even acknowledged it other than the role Karga played.  He said it’s okay and you did good, which are like… five of the most common words in Galactic Basic, a Wookiee could probably find a way to say them.  How are you supposed to take that?  Were you just overthinking this whole thing from the very beginning?  You know anxiety tends to be irrational by definition, but has none of your panic from the past hour been justified whatsoever?

“Why were you so late?”  You ask him, but it’s not accusatory in the slightest.  It’s… concerned, worried about his well-being without having a real reason.  He’s clearly more than fine right now, he’s like a hurricane enclosed in metal and holding still in front of you.  Too much potential energy just waiting for a reason to be released, too much tension held tight and ready to snap.

“I’m sorry.”  He quickly reaches out to grab your hand and squeeze it, before dropping it just as quickly.  Fucking lightning quick, you’ll never understand how he can be so damn quick with all that extra weight strapped to him.  “It took longer than I thought it would and she’s not really someone you can rush.”  His response, ironically, feels very rushed, like he’s trying to address the tangent but also keep things on track, but something in the answer he gives catches your direct attention.  “Did he flirt with you?”

“Who is she and what can’t be rushed?”  You blurt at the same time, not even taking a split second to think about it.

Din stops short at the blunt question, staring at you in a silence that feels like it’s vaguely taken aback.

After a few moments of that… strangeness, of the two of you realizing that you’re both feeling slightly possessive over each other for absolutely no reason whatsoever, you start to feel… warm.  In another weirdly stupid, primitive way.  You know that letting those kinds of thoughts have their day in a relationship isn’t a good thing, but you can’t explain it.  Some deep-seated, prehistoric instinct inside you just goes fucking nuts whenever he gets in either provider or protector mode.  Now you understand exactly why he wanted to get you alone after you admitted to being jealous once before.  You totally fucking get it, you’re right there with him right now.  He hasn’t said anything, but you think he feels it, too.

“She makes things,” Din finally answers you, careful with his words and somehow managing to address your question while also sidestepping it, leaving you with only the smallest bit of information to go off of.  “Did he flirt with you?”

“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly.  “Maybe.  He could’ve just been trying to be friendly.  What did she make for you?”

“She made it for you,” he responds, again not really answering the question but continuing to juggle two separate conversations for your benefit.  “Did he scare you?”

“For me?”  You ask, eyebrows shooting upwards.  Provider, that stupid cavewoman DNA whispers to your lower body, making your voice go a little breathless.  “You asked her to make something for me?”

“Did he scare you?”  Din repeats sternly, grabbing your hand and giving it a firm squeeze.  “Because I can go back, I swear—”

Protector, it whispers this time, and your knees nearly buckle.

“Everything is scary when I don’t know where you are,” you admit to him, knowing it’s the truth regardless of how self-deprecating it sounds.  The only times you’ve ever truly been brave was because of him or the kid.  Stabbing a Corellian and then immediately flying the Crest out to him afterwards, walking through a pitch black forest believing a dangerous criminal was hiding in it, dragging a dead body through snow and shoving it into carbonite, standing up for yourself and pushing a deal through when odds were stacked against you.  Though it’s nothing to him, it’s nothing, it’s leaps for you.  You’re slowly learning to find a backbone, and he’s the one inspiring it.

Din holds there for a moment, unmoving with his hand still clutching yours.  You can’t get a read on him but you know how you feel right now.  Achy.  Hot.  Needy.  Wanting him to come closer.

“Will you do something for me?”  He asks you after a prolonged silence.  His voice is quiet, but… incredibly restrained.  Controlled chaos—his body is rigid and he’s flexing muscles that aren’t necessary for just standing, feeling like a sprinter holding still on the starting blocks.

“Of course,” you breathe out.

Din lets go of your hand and tilts his helmet over at the corner of the hull behind you.  “Go turn around and face that wall.”

You freeze, immediately recognizing the undertone in his voice.  Heat ladles deep into the pit of your tummy, sends warmth pooling downwards.  He wants to do this here?  Right now?

“We’re—” you look around the enclosed hull, “Mando, we’re not in hyperspace, we haven’t even left the surface yet…”

He looks around too, taking a second to blankly take in his stagnant surroundings like he had absolutely fucking no idea, before turning back to you and not saying a word.  Maker, everything below your waist is already stirring, twisting hot and deep inside, but you’re trying to be the voice of reason for a second.

“What if somebody hears us?”  You whisper, and Din cocks his head to the other side.

“I can help you stay quiet,” he murmurs, and… fuck.  You don’t know what it means, but you immediately imagine his hand held tight over your mouth while he takes some of this stress out on you and you already feel yourself wilting at the thought.  Okay.

“Okay,” you breathe without needing anything else at all, before spinning around and standing exactly where he told you to.  It’s just a corner near the back of the hull, nothing else here to look at besides two metal panels meeting at a right angle, but that’s admittedly what makes your heart start beating quicker.  You can’t see him come up behind you but you can feel it.  Slow, measured, but so restrained.

But then he stops almost immediately, before the back of your shirt is suddenly being yanked upwards and you remember at the very last second.

Din carefully grips his blaster and then eases it out of your waistband, the metal sliding warm along your skin from pressing against it for so long.  You never told him you took it with you, and he’s so fucking quiet behind you.  You have no idea how he’s reacting to that piece of information you originally didn’t think twice about.

“Do you like carrying my gun around?”  Din’s voice murmurs soft through the modulator to you, but then the blaster is tossed uselessly to the side, skittering loudly across the floor of the hull.

“Yes,” you reply, beginning to shyly turn your head back to look at him, hoping to gauge his response.

“Don’t turn around,” he quickly interrupts you, pushing your shoulder back into position and keeping you facing the corner.  You blink at the metal walls in a bit of a daze but follow instructions regardless, feeling your heart pound at the sudden display of dominance from him.  He has a very valid reason for it and you don’t realize what it is until a few seconds later, but even if he didn’t and he was just telling you what to do for the fun of it… you’d still like it.

But then his helmet is carefully being lowered over your head and you shudder as your vision is replaced with a familiar black abyss.  Fuck, his helmet, why does he like it so much when you wear this?  Admittedly, you don’t have much time to contemplate—as soon as it’s fitted and secure, he spins you around and you have to just do your best to maintain your balance, not having any visual to help.

“Can you hear me?”  Din asks, and your clothes start to be ripped off of you.  Your shoulders tip sideways with how quick he is about it, feeling him pull the fabric off and hearing the soft sound it makes landing on the floor.

“Yes,” you tell him, but he doesn’t respond, continuing to strip you completely naked in the hull.  Once your upper body is bare and he’s yanking your pants and underwear down your legs, you try saying it again as you step out of them, louder for him this time.

“I can’t hear you,” his voice grunts after a moment.  You know he’s in front of you but you can’t really tell where, now that he’s not touching you.  “Scream.”

You take a second, not having hard evidence anymore but still very well aware that you’re parked close to a marketplace on Nevarro and multiple people are nearby while you’re wearing his helmet.  This is dangerous for him, and not sure if you should, but then an arm is wrapping around your back and a large leather palm rests directly over your chest.  Din repeats his last word very slowly and clearly for you, waiting to feel it under his hands.

Your sternum lifts while it rises with your deep breath and then collapses as you diligently yell as loud as you can into the helmet, feeling like you might deafen yourself with the trapped sound.

“Good,” he growls, suddenly spinning you around and pushing you back into the metal paneling.  “I can’t hear you, be as loud as you need.  Hit me or something, put up a fight if you want me to stop, alright?”

Arousal rockets through you and you let out a moan already, taking advantage of the noise suppression and beyond turned on at this point.  You feel like you’re buzzing with it, lit up with excitement and wondering with bated breath what he’s planning to do to you.

“Alright?”  Comes his voice from behind you once more, and you quickly jerk the heavy helmet in a nod for him.  You can put up a fight and you know he’ll stop, you don’t have any problem with that and the fact that he specifically made sure to wait until he knew you understood him makes you start to pant inside the hollow beskar.

But then you feel him flick a small switch at the base of the helmet and then everything abruptly cuts out and goes dead silent.

Nothing.  Nothing.  You’re standing in a pitch black room where no other sound exists besides your own labored breathing.  Just like the waterfall on Naboo, but you can’t speak this time.  Temporarily making you blind, deaf, and putting a proverbial gag over your mouth all with one powerful piece of armor.

You shudder and he kicks your legs apart before you can do much else, yanking your hips back while you just try your best to cling to the wall for stability.  You don’t know what he’s going to do, you’re completely isolated in here and the only way you can even tell he dropped to his knees is the hot glide of his tongue through your pussy from behind.

Oh fuck—you arch into position as best you can while hands wrap around your ankles to pull them apart, trying to make the angle better.  His tongue licks softly over your clit and each time is like an electric shock jolting through your body, making you twitch back and up for him, stretching and begging him to do it again.  You can’t see anything right now so your mind readily imagines the visuals instead, providing you with a third party view.  Din, fully clothed and face shielded by your thighs, eating you out from behind while you brace yourself against the wall, completely naked and at his mercy, head tilted down from the weight of his helmet and living for the moments he decides to drag his tongue across your clit.

Without warning, a sudden burst of sensation ripples along your backside and causes you to lift the beskar in surprise, but without being able to hear anything, it takes you a second to figure out that he just smacked your ass.  The realization comes more or less at the exact time he decides to flatten his tongue and follow the curve of you back and up.

You gasp into the pitch black and there’s a moment where you just hold utterly still for him, experiencing and processing the sensation for the very first time.  His mouth is soft and warm as he tastes you here, his fingers digging into the swell of your cheeks to spread you open.  You’re glad your face is hidden so he can’t see the shock in your expression, the way your mouth drops and your eyes close as you let him explore you this way.

His gloved hands leave you for just a moment while he continues gliding his tongue against you, along every single bit of skin he can reach, and then you feel a bare hand reach up between your legs and begin to rub slow circles around your clit.  His other arm pushes against your lower back and you’re forced into the corner even more, your naked breasts pressing hard against cool metal and feeling his hot mouth and strong fingers work you closer to the edge from behind.

You’re panting into the helmet, your hips arching back to feel that stimulation on your clit better, and as his fingers move over it slow and strong, you feel a soft vibration against your skin and you realize he’s moaning into you.  The knowledge sparks a different kind of heat through you and makes you suddenly go still and tense right here.  If he stays just like this for even just a few more seconds, you’re going to cum.

“Din, I’m gonna cum,” your voice warbles inside the enclosed steel—just as his touch decides to abandon your body.  You groan loudly in distress, completely alone without his hands or mouth on you anymore, but all he likely hears is the silence of the hull and the way your palm smacks against the wall with it.  You were so close, everything feels like it’s pulled up so tight and painful and it hurts—

A hand clutches your hip and then a thick cock is suddenly pushing up against your soaking wet entrance, going to alleviate that twisting discomfort.  Your eyes roll back and your whole body goes limp as he slowly eases forward and breaks you open, fitting himself deep inside where you love to feel him most.  Your hands claw down the walls with a swell of bliss as he pulls out and then starts thrusting—and fuck, you love this.  You love the way he’s trapping you up against the corner and making you see stars at the same time, the way he’s supporting your weight but crushing down into you, too.  It makes you go boneless and want to riot simultaneously, groaning loud into the quiet abyss as he gives you what you both desperately needed.

One of his hands sinks down between your legs to play with your clit again, while a slick finger presses up against your ass and you gasp as he slowly penetrates you there, too.  Din’s hips work steady and powerful behind you, pushing you into the wall with every desperate thrust, using the arm shoved between your legs to support you as well as stimulate, and you just feel yourself move into a different place.  You don’t have a name for it but it feels like hyperspace.  Silence so loud it feels suppressing, faster than anything light can touch, nowhere and everywhere, hurtling towards something you can’t see but know lies in the distance.  You can tell he’s still fucking the tension out of his body, you can feel him working another wet finger inside you and stretching the virgin muscles back there, but every sensation begins to slowly blur together in a wicked uprising of ecstasy.

You don’t know where you are anymore, just that his fingers keep rubbing your clit and you think he's trying to ease a third into you when your destination abruptly arrives.

You nearly collapse when you cum, contracting so hard around his cock and fingers that you cry out unexpectedly—and because of the helmet, you think it’s just as unexpected for him.  He stops moving—everything stops moving besides you.  Your hips stutter backwards into his stationary body, dragging your clit back and forth against the tips of his unmoving fingers and fucking him as best you can.  It shatters white hot and goes straight through to your soul, wringing pleasure and wetness between your legs in waves.

Your knees are knocking against each other when Din pulls out, his cock still deliciously hard and now soaking wet with your cum, and then they just suddenly decide to give up without warning.  You don’t fall necessarily, but you do slowly slide down the wall like a slug and Din follows you to the floor instead of holding you up any longer.  His sternum moves quick and heavy against your back as he breathes and then suddenly the same switch at the base of his helmet is flicked, and sound bursts into existence all at once.

He’s panting.  Harsh breaths behind you that match the rapid pace of his chest, and the ambient noise of the rest of the hull.

“Can you hear me?”  He gasps, sounding fucking wrecked, and you nod the helmet against the wall while gravity and exhaustion and his beskar chestplate squishes you into it.  “P-Put up a fight if you want me t-to stop, p-please—” he rasps out, almost the entire thing air and so close to cumming, and then his knees lift just slightly and the blunt head of his cock presses against your other entrance.

And, if you wanted, you absolutely could.  He’s got you boxed into the corner but he’s not constricting your movements, he’s given you every ability to struggle.  You could easily throw an elbow back against his side, push against the wall to shove him away, smack at his arms or even just flail against his body in panic—you could do one or all of those things to signal him to stop and you know he’d do it immediately, he’s asking you to.  You could struggle.  If you wanted.

Instead, you just grab hold of the beskar strapped to his thigh and drop the helmet to your chest, nearly vibrating with the thrill and preparing yourself for it.  You know he’s gotta be inches away from orgasm, you know from the tone of his voice that he’s right there on the edge and it’s not like it’s going to last a long time.  Thanks to him, you also feel like you’re just as slick and wet back there as you are between your legs, stretched open by his fingers while you came all over him.  You want nothing more than to give this to him, to let him be the only person in the universe that knows how you feel this way.

When you pointedly do not put up a fight and even go so far as to arch your lower back for him in presentation, Din curses and his fingers begin jerking back and forth over your sensitive clit once more.  It might normally be too much for you, but your body is sparking with lust and quickly acclimates to the stimulation, learning to burn and ache for it, too.  Fuck, it feels so good, you tense and melt into it at the same time, letting him ease you back up to that peak once more.

He pushes up against the tight ring of skin and you can’t fucking explain it—his fingers keep rubbing your clit and he’s slowly pushing into your ass and—

“I—I think I’m—” you suddenly lift the helmet to gasp out in surprise, forgetting he can’t hear you, “ngh—D-Din, I think I’m gonna c—”

He’s just barely able to breach the tight entrance and fit the head inside before he freezes—and even though everything happens consecutively, it’s all so rapid that it feels simultaneous.

Your hips could go forward, but they don’t.  Your body decides to send you backwards into him, pushing him inside nearly halfway all at once as your muscles lock down and just fucking strangle his cock.  Your piercing scream gets trapped in the silence of his helmet as you cum once more—painfully, madly and with every fucking part of you for him.  There’s maybe one or two mind shattering pulses of ecstasy before the rest of your body catches up and starts convulsing, and by then Din is already gasping and fumbling behind you, suddenly realizing what’s happening without hearing the sound of your ragged warnings and then ripping himself away just in time.

He punches out your name when he cums like you just fucking snapped him in half—his body hunches and the beskar digs hard into your back as warmth starts splattering along your skin.  You crumple while he shoves his hips up against your spine, riding and working the orgasm out of himself while yours just fucking obliterates you.  You think you whine his name—or a curse word or something, but it gets strained and your lungs lose air every time his powerful armored body humps you into the wall of his ship.

Finally he eases up and you just lay there and listen to the ringing in your ears.  Blissfully empty, still pulsing from cumming so hard and feeling like your bones just decided to stop existing and the rest of you was okay with it since you were already on the floor anyways.  You feel him shudder and twitch behind you, letting go of that last bit of tension until he too allows gravity to slouch his heavy torso over onto you.

You both stay like that for a while, until your eyes close and your everything below your waist goes numb.  Eventually you feel him shift and your head bobbles as the helmet is slowly removed, but a large palm cradles your chin to stop your face from slamming into the wall in exhaustion once it’s off.  You just continue to melt into the paneling like you’re nothing more than goo of a human being while he trades it back to its rightful place on his shoulders and tucks his cock back into his pants, before wrapping his arms around you and lifting you both up.  The floor and metal walls, once feeling like you and them were one, suddenly decide to disappear entirely as you’re hauled up into Din’s powerful arms.

He slowly carries your naked, fucked senseless body over to the fresher, and you squint your eyes open over his shoulder to see… he’s still got his rifle slung around his back while his cum is dripping down yours.  Not a single thing on him is out of place and you’re, well… a mess is a word that works.  Limp and doll-like, carried like your weight is practically nothing to him after years of having the densest armor known to the galaxy strapped to his body.

Setting you down is a mess, too.  At some point you think he just gives up and decides to return you to your humble floor abode with a patience and care unexpected from someone who just defiled you so thoroughly.  You hear the fresher door open and the faucet squeak, before he turns back around and crouches to your level.

“Stay here,” Din tells you lowly, his modulated voice coming gentle and warm through the sounds of water raining down against metal.  You don’t feel his touch directly, but your hair moves away from your face.  “I’ll be right back, okay—just stay here.”

Can do.  Easy.  He waits until you murmur a soft mhm to him before he leaves the tiny compartment, and then you soon hear his heavy footsteps ascending the ladder to the cockpit.

***

You don’t think you fall asleep, but the powering up of the Crest’s thrusters make you realize your eyes were closed.  Opening them barely qualifies as a squint though; you look around to see steam slowly filling the fresher, the water already running hot and welcoming in the small room.

You know you need to shower but you’re so fucking exhausted, you feel like you can’t even move your body.  You also know you can just do the same exact thing in there as you’re doing in here, you just need to muster up the energy necessary to get inside it and then fall back asleep.  He set you down in the small little space outside the shower door and then got everything set up for you, you can at least stand up and take a few steps.

Unfortunately, you might pick just about the worst time possible to plant your hands on the ground and work to struggle upright on all fours like a newborn animal.  The steady rise through Nevarro’s atmosphere pushes gravity down harder than you’re expecting—is he trying to fly quickly or are you just that dead-limbed?—and then of course, by the time you do manage to fight it and successfully get on two wobbly legs to hold yourself up, the subtle shift of the hyperdrive kicking in nearly knocks you back down again.  You stumble and grab the walls, bracing yourself against them and looking down at your knees in exasperation.  Come on, work.  Move forward.  Come on.

You’re glad he’s not here to witness this monstrosity, honestly.  Just opening the door and taking a few steps into the fresher is a feat—while you’re not in any pain and he didn’t leave any marks on you, you just feel… steamrolled.  Ran over by a truck.  Only having the strength to keep your feet beneath you as you finally move under the water and close the door behind you.

Oh, but this is wonderful.  This was such a good idea, he’s so fucking smart.  The shower falls warm and lovely against your body, wetting your hair and immediately heating you down to your bones.  You don’t move really at all—you kinda just stand there and slouch, closing your eyes against the spray and slowly breathing the mist into your lungs.  It feels so nice—not really restorative even though you like that word, it would imply the water provides you with any energy whatsoever.  It just feels like a comfort, a relief and sedative for your already wildly fatigued body.

You haven’t been in here for more than a minute or two when knuckles tap gently against the metal walls of the fresher, before the natural bass of Din’s unmodulated voice murmurs from somewhere beyond it.  “Hey.  Keep your eyes closed.”

How did he know?  You figured you’d be way ahead of him.  You’re standing but slumped over, wanting nothing more than to just say fuck gravity and pass out right here.  The walls are too cold to lean against now that you’re all toasty from the heat and steam, so you’re just unconsciously swaying on your feet, trying to balance the precedence of sleeping versus not falling over.  You don’t even comprehend the sudden flip of the light switch overhead beyond the fact that it makes it easier to snooze without being so bright behind your eyelids.

The door eventually opens at the very same time you realize you never answered him, but you just commit to the silence at this point.  It’s easy, you like it.  Soon you feel warm hands touch your shoulders, slowly spinning you around while you follow and hang your head, your neck not wanting to support it any longer, and then suddenly a bare chest is pressing up against you and powerful arms are wrapping around your body, and you can just lean all of your weight into him while your head rests right here on his shoulder.

He holds you without moving for a long time, keeping you just like this—your ear pressed against his skin while water rains hot and comfortable down your back.  Knowing you’re facing one of the walls, you crack your heavy lids just the slightest bit and finally notice the tiny compartment is dim and shrouded—the only light source is a single one coming from somewhere in the hull beyond the partially closed doorway.  It’s dark and quiet and you can barely see anything besides the metallic fresher walls and unfocused droplets chasing each other down Din’s naked skin.  Just you and him, flowing water with a sheet metal backdrop.

You think you spend an eternity like that and yet you still find yourself wanting another when he finally shifts, reaching over you to grab a bar of his generic soap but making sure to use the arm whose shoulder you’re not currently resting against.

It glides slow and hypnotic down your back, dragging up over your sides and then back down the curve of your spine.  He’s so sturdy and he doesn’t say a word while he does it, lathering it along your body and rubbing it into your skin.  His bar of soap, not yours.  They started out almost the same since you picked them up at the same vendor, but there’s just a slightly bolder and sharper scent to his that you recognize.  How the bar is far larger than yours because of how often he’s gone away.

Your eyes droop and you feel the water trail over your lips, dripping down your chin and pooling the dip of his collarbone.  The only other time you two shared this fresher was terrifying and he’s rewriting the memories right now, whether consciously or not.  Hot water, not freezing cold.  Standing upright and supporting you.  Heart beating strong under your ear, taking care of you this time until you can care for yourself.

You… you just worry so much more now, it’s becoming an issue.  You didn’t realize how much until you nearly lost him, and you know in your heart that he’s just going to go away again.  Throw himself into more danger, tempt death as always, risk his life for mere credits while all you can provide in return is this.  Skin to skin contact.  Someone to hold.  Someone who knows him, who knows the way he struggles between reaching out for a softness that life has always denied him and clinging to what is rough and familiar.  Someone to remind him that there’s still gentle and forgiving things in this galaxy that won’t disappear when he’s gone, and that he can always come home to them, as long as he can manage to find his way back.

Something sad tugs hard at your chest.  You want to tell him not to leave.  Again, again—you want nothing more than to beg him to stay.  You don’t have anything better to offer instead; if he asked you how it would work, how you imagine your lives would go if he wasn’t hunting quarry on a constant timetable, you’d be hard-pressed.  You don’t know.  But you know what you want to say, because it’s two words you shouldn’t say but always find yourself needing to say regardless.  

Don’t go.

But, instead of two words, you give him three.

Instead of asking him not to leave you again… in the haze and comfort of his arms, you think you just tell him that you love him.

And… you also don’t think the water falling down on the two of you is loud enough to cover it up this time.

It’s not ideal, you know.  You know.  From his point of view, he just got finished releasing all sorts of pent up tension on you, overwhelming your body with the strength and power of his in a way that normal people wouldn’t take as an expression of affection.  But you know him.  You know that he finds it much easier to express the things he feels in a physical way, which is why there’s a bar of soap against your back right now instead of his voice in your ear, telling you all the things you’ve always wanted to hear from him in return.  You know that sex is how this all began and it’s likely just the closest link between roughness and sweetness that he can really put his hands on, something that can fit him equally as well as it fits you.  Love is different, it’s thrilling and scary.  Even to someone like him, who lives everyday of his life surrounded by thrilling and scary things, who’s seen more bloodshed and suffering and pain than you can ever even imagine, you know that it’s scary.

Din doesn’t say anything back to your confession, and truthfully, not a single part of you was expecting him to.  It wasn’t said so he could say it back.  It just is.  Some things don’t need explanations, they just are.  You’re okay with that.

But, you eventually come to realize that he always waits until you’re just on the very edges of sleep, holding out until your blurry vision and fading consciousness can trick you into thinking you only imagined it.  You won’t ever figure out if it’s purposeful or if he just needs that long to find what he wants to say.

Another soft, lilting sentence in a language you wouldn’t be able to translate, even if you could pick out a single word.  It sounds so beautiful though, regardless of how mysterious and far away its meaning feels.  There’s something hidden underneath.  You ache to know what it is.

But you’re so tired.  You just whine softly against his shoulder, not being able to transform the thoughts into sentences anymore but hoping he understands regardless.  He can’t just resort to bearing his soul in Mando’a all the time now, especially when you’re always on the verge of sleep when he chooses to do so.

But at some point, his arms subtly tighten around you and the pressure is one of the only things that’s keeping you awake anymore.

“I won’t ever ask you to,” he says to you, the quietness of his baritone getting lost in the gentle spray and your looming slumber.  “I’m…  not allowed to ask.  I can’t.”

Your expression twitches just the slightest bit against his shoulder in confusion, wondering distantly what word or sentence you must’ve missed from before that would make him make sense.  Was that a translation?  Or a continuation?

But then your wet hair is slowly moved away from your nape and his head tilts down, face pressing into your neck and voice lowering until it’s nothing more than a breath against your skin, nothing more than a confession that he couldn’t ever say out loud with his full chest.  It’s a secret he only ever wants you to know, a truth he’s choosing to admit to even though you could ruin him with it.  You have no idea how much, you won’t know for a long time just how much power he’s giving you by telling you this one very simple thing.

“But whenever you want to look,” Din finally whispers, the only version of I love you too that a Mandalorian knows.  “You can.”

[cjsinkythoughts]

Rocks, Shoulders, and Ears

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 3501

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Major Angst in this one, guys, Loads of Feels (sorry not sorry), John Walker being a douche (I really don’t like the guy)

A/N: I’m SO SORRY! I promise I was planning on it being shorter, but I went a little overkill with the angst! There’s just so many feelings and not enough space in my heart and soul, so I had to pour them out here! You get to see more of Reader and Sam’s relationship in this one and there’s major Bucky Feels towards the end (in my defense, this is based on the Couples Therapy half of the episode).

I’m really hoping we get to see Bucky go to Louisiana next episode! I’m holding out for it! I have a few ideas that include Sarah, but I need the episode! Ugh! Now we have to wait a whole ‘nother week! I really shouldn’t write three chapters on one episode in one day. I just couldn’t help myself!

Anyways! Please enjoy this part and thank you so much for all your support! Seriously, it’s meant so much to me, especially after the week I’ve had! If you haven’t checked out the previous parts, my FATWS Series Masterlist is HERE, so please go read those first. Like always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Enjoy, babes!

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

The last thing you remembered was falling asleep in Bucky’s arms after walking a few miles. And a hospital in DC wasn’t exactly what you preferred waking up to, but it’s what happened. Turned out, not only was your shoulder dislocated and your thigh was strained, but you had a mild concussion. Your arm was in a sling and your palm, which you had completely forgotten about after you wrapped it while on Bucky’s back, was wrapped properly. Luckily, your thigh wasn’t too bad, but they wanted to put you on crutches, which you refused immediately.

You had to get out of that building. You had no idea where the guys went, which was weird because you were sure they’d never leave you alone. Especially in a hospital.

You quickly snuck your way through the halls after grabbing your bag which - thank God - was left on the seat besides your bed and changing into an extra pair of clothes. 

You tried calling Bucky’s phone, the one he had specifically for you, which he always always answered. He even made an excuse to go to the bathroom once when you accidentally called in the middle of a therapy session. Nothing. You called the number four times before trying Sam’s phone.

It clicked on the first try.

“Hey. Listen, sorry for leaving-”

“Where the hell are you?”

You heard him sigh. “I was just about to explain, so hang on a second there. You weren’t waking up, probably because that concussion you forgot to mention to us-”

“In my defense, I didn’t know.”

“Sure you didn’t.” You rolled your eyes, throwing your free hand up, exasperated. “Anyways, Bucky wanted me to meet someone, we’ll talk about that when you inevitably get here, put we had a bit of trouble and Bucky was arrested-”

“What?!”

“Chill your pants, Y/L/N. Just listen. We’re in Baltimore. I’ll text you the address. Get here soon and I’ll explain the whole thing. We’ve been here for a couple hours, but there’s people on their way and we’re getting everything situated right now.”

“Okay. Fine. But you’re in trouble.”

“Don’t I know it, babe. Now hurry your cute little ass here. We’ve got stuff to talk about.”

*****************

The ride from DC to Baltimore is usually an hour or so, but you’ve got resources, especially in the nation’s capital, and riding the bike you got, being able to go way over the speed limit? You got there in half the time. Being an Avenger really does have its perks.

The moment you got there, you hopped off the bike, not even bothering to turn it off, and stormed into the precinct. You headed straight over to the desk, but a pair of hands caught you by your uninjured arm before you could make a scene.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Sam spoke softly, squeezing your bicep gently. “He’s okay, alright?”

“Why is he-”

“He missed his court-mandated therapy session.” Sam informed you, pulling you over to where he had been sitting previously. “There was a warrant out for his arrest. They had to bring him in, but it’s fine. His therapist’s been contacted. She should be here any minute to get him out.”

Your head fell back at his words. His therapy. How could you forget? You let Bucky complain to you about it and played along sometimes, but you really did think it was good for him and you tried supporting him. Yet you made him miss it and now he’s in trouble.

“Hey. Y/N. Look at me.” You found Sam’s worried eyes, his hand coming up to hold the side of your neck. “He’s okay. He’ll be out in just a bit. It’s fine.”

“It’s my fault, Sam.”

“No. It’s not. He’s a grown ass man who made the decision to skip.”

You shook your head, holding his wrist for something to anchor you down. “No, Sammy. I brought him along. I should’ve been more responsible-”

“I know we’ve joked around about you being in charge and stuff, but…you know it’s not all on your shoulders, right?” Sam tilted his head slightly, eyebrow pinched in confusion making his eyes narrow. 

You turned your head, not wanting to look at him. You didn’t need another set of deep eyes to fall into. “Sammy…I promised him I’d look after you.”

“I know. And that’s fine. But looking after us - looking after him - doesn’t mean you have to be there to hold his hand and take the fall for him. He’s not a child. Hell, he’s a hundred years old. Tell me you understand that.”

Licking your lips, you closed your eyes and shook your head again. “I-I can’t-”

“Is that why you’re obsessed with finding Wanda?”

You frowned at his question, eyes snapping to his. “I’m worried about her, Sam.”

“I am too, but she can handle herself. And if she doesn’t want to be found, you have to let her be. I know the Avengers were your only family. I know how much Steve meant to you-”

“No.” You pulled away rather harshly, digging your nails into your palms, trying not to cry, ignoring the wound you were irritating. “No, you don’t. How could you understand my feelings for Steve when I don’t understand them myself?”

Sam always had this ability to make anyone feel important, just by looking them in the eye. It was something you always admired about him; the way his smile could light up a room, those warm eyes making everyone’s fears go away. They reminded you of hot chocolate. Something that could soothe your worries, comfort you, warm your very soul from the ice tragedy and heartache tend to big on.

You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry in front of people, but with the way he was looking at you, it was hard to keep the tears from slipping.

“You loved him, Y/N. Why is it so hard for you to see that?”

“I didn’t - I wasn’t in love with him, Sam.” You argued, wiping your cheeks aggressively and turning, crossing your arms defensively.

“What do you call it then?”

It was a rhetorical question, Sam copying your movements and sitting straight to watch for Bucky coming out. A rhetorical question that you didn’t know the answer to. Because you weren’t in love with Steve. No. Maybe you had been, but somewhere along the way he passed your heart to Bucky. So why did it hurt so bad?

You refused to dwell on it anymore, clearing your throat and dabbing at your eyes one more time before changing the topic. “Why are we in Baltimore?”

“Bucky wanted me to meet someone. Isaiah. You know him?” Sam turned back to you, his warm eyes shifting into something else. Suspicion? A bit of anger? Annoyance? You couldn’t tell.

“Isaiah? I don’t think I know any Isaiahs. And definitely not here. Why? Who is he?”

Sam shook his head, eyes darting around the lobby. “We’ll talk about it later.”

You nodded, although now your curiosity had peaked and you wondered who this guy was that made Sam so agitated. While you waited, you felt your eyes drooping and you let your head fall onto Sam’s shoulder, who chuckled.

“You’re still tired? You know you slept for, like, twelve hours, right?”

“I haven’t been sleeping much.”

Sam turned his head to kiss yours. “Y/N, I know you want to care for everyone, but you’ve gotta take care of yourself too.”

“I know.”

“Okay.” And with that, the subject dropped, Sam pulling out his phone while you rested your eyes.

It was another ten minutes or so before Sam’s name was called and the both of you stood up to greet the speaker. A woman, Dr. Raynor. Bucky’s infamous therapist.

And speaking of infamous. The moment you heard his voice, you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping it was just your brain malfunctioning. And then he was walking towards you, calling Bucky ‘Bucky’ like they were old pals and he was saving him from something terrible.

Your face scrunched up as Walker talked about stopping Bucky’s regular therapy sessions. “He’s too valuable of an asset to have him tied up-”

“Don’t call him an asset.” You snapped. “He’s a human being with needs, and therapy-”

“He’s a super soldier with skills that we need.” Walker cut in, making you scowl as he turned back to Raynor.

You scoffed in disbelief at his words, turning on your heel and walking away before he did, heading straight for Bucky, who lifted his right arm, wrapping it around your shoulders once you were close enough.

“Are you okay?” You whispered, closing your eyes and trying to relax in his hold, breathing him in.

“Are you? Should you be walking? What did-”

You shook your head. “I’m fine.”

“Really?”

“Promise.” You sighed out with a nod, squeezing him once more before pulling back as Raynor stepped forwards, ordering Bucky and Sam to do a session with her. You almost laughed when Sam tried refusing, a little chuckle actually leaving your lips when Bucky slumped, dragging his feet like a kid going to the principal’s office.

You followed, Bucky holding the door open for you. “Thanks, Buck.”

“Of course, doll.” He gave a small smile, before walking in after you, Sam letting out a, “hey!” when Bucky shut the door on him, making you roll your eyes. You let the corners of your mouth tick up slightly in amusement. Yes, they annoyed the hell out of you, but you had to admit it was pretty funny sometimes.

“I believe I asked for James and Sam, Ms. Y/L/N.”

“It’s Agent, actually, and I think I’m gonna sit in.”

Raynor narrowed her eyes. “I don’t think-”

“That wasn’t a request.” You threw her words to Sam back at her, making Sam smirk. You shot him a wink as she relented with a sigh. 

“Fine. Just as a spectator. Don't interrupt.”

You raise your hands in surrender, slipping around the table to stand in the corner as your fellas sank down into the seats across the table from her.

A small puff of laughter came from you at the lack of response when she asked one of them to start. She shot you a warning look over her shoulder, but you shrugged. You couldn’t help it; it was like all those times back in grade school when a teacher asked for a volunteer to read in a classroom full of rowdy kids and crickets followed.

Once she mentioned the next exercise was used for couples, you had to laugh, making both men shoot you begging pouts.

“Y/N.” Raynor glared at you, so you controlled yourself, gesturing for her to continue.

Her miracle question did work so well, neither of them cooperating well.

She didn’t even bother with you when you started cackling after she mentioned the “soul-gazing exercise” and Bucky thanked her, Sam commenting that he would like this one. You gave a teasing wolf-whistle when they got close, one of Bucky’s thighs between Sam’s and vice versa.

“Doll.” Bucky whined at you.

“Listen here, smartass-”

Raynor cleared her throat, cutting Sam off from finishing his statement towards you. You leaned back against the wall, crossing your arms with a smirk. After all the bickering and side taking they’ve put her through, letting you enjoy this was the least they could do, and they knew it.

Of course, this exercise didn’t work out either. A staring contest. Children. She was best friends with literal children.

But then something happened. Something you never thought would happen. Raynor asked Bucky why Sam aggravated him, and Bucky looked over to you, his eye growing sad in a way they only did when Steve was involved.

“Steve believed in you.” Bucky told him earnestly. “He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield? That is…that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing.  So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me.”

You heard his voice crack a little at the end as he slumped down in his seat, you jaw dropping slightly. You listened to the rest of the conversation, catching the way Sam grew irritated again, something that you didn’t previously think was possible, but was happening more and more now.

Why wasn’t Sam talking to you? Why was he holding all this in suddenly? And why…Bucky…he didn’t tell you that. Why didn’t he say anything? How could he ever feel…

But you knew how he could feel like that. Yes, Steve believed in him so much that he tore the Avengers apart for him…but he was the only one willing to do that for him. Yeah, you and Sam and Wanda and Clint, you all joined their side but, being honest, it wasn’t because you believed in Bucky. It was because you believed in Steve. Of course, it was different now. You believed in Bucky with your entire being, and you believed in Sam with your heart and soul, but…did either of them know that? Did they believe you when you told them? Or did you not tell them enough? This whole time you thought you were doing right by Steve - trying you damn hardest to watch out for them. But it obviously wasn’t enough. And that was on you, no matter what Sam said.

You read people. That’s what you’ve always done, that’s what you’d always do. It was the reason you earned your spot on the team. You read people and situations and could figure your way into their heads in a second. Years and years of undercover work taught you how to do that and how to protect yourself while doing so.

So why? How? How did you miss something this big? How did you miss the way Sam was holding onto something? Why did you ignore the vexation in his tone for the last couple weeks? How did you miss that Bucky was hurting that deeply? Why didn’t you do anything more for him?

You left the room before either of the boys, but you heard Sam standing up as you walked out the door.

You should’ve known you weren’t the only one holding things in. Of course they were. The difference is, you were supposed to be their rock, the thing they could hold onto to ground themselves, the shoulder for them to cry on, and the ear lent to them whenever they needed someone to listen. That was your job. It wasn’t their job. Not for you. Your rock - your shoulder, your ear - he left you. And you thought, after all he did for you, if you just returned the favor for his best friends, you’d…you dunno. You’d be closer to him, maybe.

But you couldn’t. Because you weren’t Steve Rogers. And you knew that from the start, but you had to try. You tried. And it wasn’t working. He made it seem so easy when he did it for you. Clearly you didn’t give him enough credit for dealing with all your shit on top of his own.

“Doll.” You didn’t stop walking, needing to get outside for some fresh air. “Doll, hold on. Wait a minute.”

He grabbed your arm as you made it outside, spinning you to face him. “You didn’t tell me.” You spoke quietly, your voice fragile as you stared at him, confusion and hurt in your eyes. Were you really that bad at doing your job? Did you really already fail him? He asked you to do one thing…

“I didn’t…I didn’t want you to deal with my problems.” You opened your mouth, but he shook his head, holding your face between his hands. “I’m not stupid, Y/N. I know something’s going on with you. You’re good at hiding your nightmares at night, but I’m better. You’re jumpier than usual. Quieter. Every time Wanda’s brought up, you turn away. And the other day? On the truck? You froze. I was watching, doll. It was just a second, but you froze. You never freeze.”

“It’s not your job to worry about me, Buck-”

He frowned, tilting his head. “Not my job? Aren’t we friends? Isn’t that what friends do? Or am I just a job to you? I know you promised him to look after me. Is that all I am to you? A responsibility?”

You shook your head vigorously, holding onto his wrists. “No. No, Bucky, I just-”

“Do you think he was wrong about me?”

Salty diamonds ran down your cheeks as you clenched your eyes shut and shook your head. “No.”

“Did you ever believe in me? Did you ever care or was it all just because Steve? Is Steve the only reason you tolerate me?”

“Don’t say that. God, please don’t say that.” You begged quietly, meeting his gaze again. Every beautiful detail was laced with devastation, eyes imploring her to make him feel better. “Of course I believe in you. I have since Wakanda, you know that. Yes, okay, maybe Steve is why I helped you at first, but-but…I care about you, James. So much so that it hurts sometimes. He wasn’t wrong about you. Or Sammy. You both mean so much to me. Okay?”

You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly, nodding slightly. You both simultaneously moved to get closer, him pulling you while you stepped into his chest, arms around his waist. His arms were tight around your shoulder, holding you just as firm as the kiss he planted on your forehead.

Sam came out, planting himself besides you as you pulled away, Bucky wiping your eyes. “I feel better.” He huffed out sarcastically, making you smack him in the arm. “Ow! Yeesh. Women these days.”

The sudden siren of one of the parked police cars made the three of you look over, spotting Walker and Hoskins. You groaned. “Did he see that?”

“Hey,” Bucky caught your jaw between his fingers, shaking his head. “Who cares? It’s between us and us only. Right?” You nodded, making him kiss your forehead again, a whisper of “attagirl” against your skin. You hadn’t heard that from him in a while.

“Gentlemen!” Walker waved them over, nodding at you. “And lady.” The three of you reluctantly walked over, Bucky going to lean on the police car Walker and Hoskins were near and you hopped up to sit on the hood of the police car across from them, Sam besides you.

You got information from Walker, who was once again trying to get you to work with him, but Sam summed it up nicely, explaining that the three of you didn’t have to follow the rules he did. You started to leave, Bucky tucking you under his arms once you slid off the car, when Walker stopped you once more.

“A word of advice, then. Stay the hell out of my way.”

You grumbled under your breath as the faker and his lapdog walked off. “I’m gonna kill him.” You vowed as the three of you started in the other direction. “I swear to God, I’m gonna rip that shield off his back and use it to beat him in that stupid face of his-”

“Down, girl.” Sam jested, flicking your ear. “We need a game plan. What’re we thinking?”

Your eyes narrowed as Bucky piped up, talking about the Isaiah character - who you still didn’t know - before HYDRA entered the equation.

“Absolutely not.” You shook your head, tugging his arm to make him stop once he mentioned Siberia. “Do you remember Siberia? Because if you’re actually suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, we remember Siberia very differently.”

“He’s our best bet-”

“So you’re just going to go sit in a room with this guy?”

Bucky scrunched up his nose. “Ye-yes…”

A beat of silence passed before Sam gave his stamp of approval, but you still disagreed. “There’s no way this’ll end well and I refuse to let you-”

You found your face between Bucky’s hands again. You really wished he’d stop doing that and just ask for your attention. You didn’t mean that, of course. You’d be held by him every second of every day if you could. “Don’t you trust me, doll?”

You licked your lips, looking around the darkened street. This was not a good idea. A bad plan - a terrible plan, really - but, unfortunately, it was the only one you had. “Dammit. I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.” You finally sighed, running a hand through your hair after Bucky let go of you, his eyebrow quirking.

“Is that a yes?”

Sam nodded. “We’re gonna go see Zemo.”

You tugged Bucky’s hand when he nodded back and went to walk after Sam, who started walking around the corner, making him stop. “And yes. I do trust you. With everything I have, Buckaroo.”

[acolvyte]

- Hancock, Denjiro and Katakuri comforting their S/O after a bad day -

Reader gender : neutral

Hancock :

-She really wants to know what happened, if it's because of someone, she will fight

-She might insist a little but you are more important than her curiosity

- You're sad? Not for long trust me

- She will hug you, you will literally spend the rest of the day in her arms

-If you don't want any physical contact at the moment she will always have an eye on you

-Will makes something for you! A meal, a warm bath or bringing you to your favorite restaurant, it doesn't matter what you want she gets it!

- She will wakes up often that night to see if you're not too cold or too hot and if you're sleeping peacefully

- She's basically an angel with you

Denjiro :

- He have work that evening? No he doesn't, no longer at least

- Will cancel everything to be with you

- Will take the most peaceful bath with you

-The water will be perfect and warm and you will have a great head massage

- He will talks about your day with you if you want to but will not ask for it, he wants to let you some peace

- So you don't want to talk about it? Fine, he will showers you with kind words and compliments

- He will be extra quick in his daily night secret mission to be back as soon as possible to be with you

- He's fighting with his life to not fall asleep before you if you're still awake, he wants you to feel safe

Katakuri :

- What do you want to eat today? You will have everything you want

-He tries to know what happened, he will not insist if you don't want to talk about it

-But he's gonna be worried of course, he just want to help

-He's not always the most demonstrative person but today is another story

- He will kiss your cute face while you're sitting on his laps, you will not leave until he gets a smile from you

- He may organize a little trip on another island with you to take your mind off things

-Will reassured you by explaining that life always have ups and downs, and that means the next up is soon

- Will makes sure you look like a caterpillar in the sheets tonight, maximum comfort for his sad sweetheart

[wowcatboys]

Denji having a girl who's love bombing him? Just to throw him away when she's bored?

@ Denji; im so sorry. I don't mean to make you suffer constantly but its what the people WANT

Denji

Denji’s heart belongs squarely to Makima, something his run-in with Reze has only cemented in his mind. So when you elbow your way into his life, Denji’s not too worried at first. He plans to stay true to his original love interest. But, you stubbornly keep showering him with affection, and it’s not long before he crumbles. He just can’t help but fall for you when you’re constantly giving him those adorable puppy eyes you do, and telling him you like the way his hair looks even when he forgets to comb it in the morning. It only takes a little attention for Denji to be wrapped around your finger, regardless of whether you call this flirty little whatever-it-is a relationship or not.

Everyone can plainly see Denji's over the moon, wearing a permanent smile, not even whining when Aki assigns him an extra chore or two. No one has ever paid attention to him like you have. You let him lick your ice cream (even though it's your favorite flavor), and you laugh at his stupid jokes, and you hold his hand in public, never minding when he has to break away to wipe his sweaty palms on his pants. For once, Denji feels like he really matters, like someone really sees him when you look up at him with your wide, shining eyes. He's euphoric, he's high on life, he's in love before the week is out.

What really draws Denji in is your constant phone calls. Sure, it's super cool when you bring him the extra leftovers from your dinner, and he loves the little gifts you give, wrapped up neatly with hearts scribbled across the paper, and he thinks he could die of happiness when you take him on dates to the arcade and laugh sweetly as he fumbles his way through songs on the DDR machine. But nothing compares to hearing your sweet voice slipping through the phone line, reassuring him that he's on your mind. Denji won't go to bed until he gets his nightly call from you. "G'night," he always ends the call dreamily, "I can't wait to see ya again tomorrow!"

But for Denji, all good things must come to an inevitable, disastrous end. Still, when you coldly tell him over the phone one night that you're not really interested in meeting up tomorrow, or any time after, it's a bucket of cold water dumped on him. He thought maybe you were one of the benefits that came with his new life, like pants without holes in the knees or getting breakfast every morning. Denji deflates, but when you hang up the phone without telling him to sleep well, and dream about you, he doesn't call you back. He just goes to bed, and can't for the life of him figure out why it takes him so long to finally fall asleep.

Somehow, this is Denji's fault. He just knows it. Maybe you got sick of him mixing up the steps in DDR or getting sweaty while he held your hand or telling lame jokes. For awhile, he tries to make it up to you; flowers on your porch, invitations to your favorite cafe left on your voicemail, the works. But as the pile of flowers he lays on your doorstep grows, and each new offering eventually turns from pink to brown to fully dead, Denji slowly realizes you're not going to give him another chance, no matter how many floral arrangements he picks for you. As soon as reality sets in, he leaves you alone for good.

Denji keeps the gifts and notes you wrote for him. Honestly, it feels bad to look at them. But after Power complained that he was being annoyingly mopey about "some fickle wench" (Denji wrinkled his nose at the term, but didn't correct her) and shoved all the remnants of your short-lived love in a shoebox—one that went straight into the garbage—it feels even worse to see it all in the trash. He fished it out. For now, it’s still all stuffed into a shoebox, but he’s hidden it in the bottom drawer of his dresser. Maybe someday soon, the old “out-of-sight-out-of-mind” will ring true and he can forget that goddamn thing is there.

Denji acts like normal. After all, it’s no big deal; things fall apart between people all the time. Now he can turn his attention back to Makima, where it rightfully belongs. He still goes to work, and still half-asses his chores, and still eats the same ungodly amount of food. But for awhile, it somehow doesn't taste as good. When Aki unknowingly makes your favorite meal for dinner one night, the smell makes Denji want to throw up. He wishes he could understand why.

Denji does his best to stay completely off your radar. He’s still convinced he’s the one that screwed everything all up, and he doesn’t want to hurt you more by running into each other while out grocery shopping or at the arcade. Occasionally, though, he takes the long way back from work—the path that leads nearby where you live. He catches glimpses of you, sometimes, through your open bedroom window (and thinks of every time he told you that you should probably keep your shades drawn while you’re at home; you never know what kind of pervs could be looking in).

Power curses your name, proclaiming you one of her sworn enemies. She claims it’s because you’ve made Denji too sad, and he’s irritating and gets on her nerves when he’s too sad. One night she says she’s going to egg your house as a declaration of war and invites Denji to witness. (He declines, of course, because even if he shrugs his shoulders and says screw (y/n) if anyone asks around, he still doesn’t want to hurt you.) The next day at breakfast Aki swears he’s going crazy because he bought two cartons just yesterday and now there’s only one. Power looks supremely proud of herself. Denji can’t help but laugh thinking of you scraping egg off your front door in your pajamas, and right then, he feels a little weight lift from his shoulders.

Closure has never mattered much to Denji. Not knowing what went wrong between you two won’t eat him alive, or anything. He gets on with his life soon enough. But, still; there’s echoes of you if you know where to look. If Aki notices Denji still glances at the phone around 11, the time you used to call to say goodnight, he graciously doesn’t say anything.

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : Attention feat Kazutora Hanemiya

author note :  I was obsessed with this TikTok and couldn’t kick it out my mind, now I’m not sure if it’s actually his Seiyuu who is dubbed it but it sure felt like it. I can’t breath anymore lol. It feels good to be able to write ngl. Enjoy ♡ 

-->If you’re curious you can find the TikTok right here 

Warning : SFW but I can make a NSFW version if you’re asking for it / It’s not Spoiler-free so  if you didn’t catch up with the manga you’ll be spoiled I’m sorry but stay safe ♡ 

Masterlist

i do not own those pictures they came from Pinterest so credit to their owner

it's kinda short to my apologies I would do better next time

Kazutora Hanemiya 羽宮ハネミヤ一虎カズトラ

I can’t see him dating anyone before the time skip, even if we got proof that he was interested into people (we all see the way he was looking when he was at the beach). But during this time, he was a teenager more over he already a family, people who he cared about. He just didn’t feel the need to add a significant other, he has his family, he had Toman.

Now I’m not saying that he wouldn’t date anyone when he was a teenager but he was so focused on Toman on his family than I can’t believe he got time to date someone, especially since he was busy kicking ass with his friends Baji.

But no matter if you met him during his teenage, after he left the juvenile prison or when he left prison. You’re going to need some patience with him. He has lived a lot of things. He is still a broken man who is this close of loosing his entire mind.

I believe that I first you would be the only one working on this relationship, I mean you would do the whole flirty thing and at first he’ll barley interact with you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel proud for your compliment and that he isn’t happy that you are interested in him. It just that everytime he felt close to someone, they either die or just left him.

He wasn’t sure if he was mentally, physically, emotionally ready for any kind of relationship

So yeah at first you would be the only to text/call first, you’ll be the only who is taking news might be the only one to think about where to go out together.

Most of the times you would feel insecure, after all he was so handsome maybe he just didn’t care about you ? Maybe you were bothering him ? Maybe he wasn’t interested in you and was just giving you a favor when he was answering back.

You would feel as if he didn’t care all as if your love was unrequited

But don’t worry about it, this situation wouldn’t last as long as you thought it would will.

His walls will finally shattered down and he’ll feel like he can finally be himself with you, showing you his insecurity, providing you all the love his broken heart got.

When this will happen, my my, you signed for the clingiest boyfriend of all time (top 3 at least)

I’m not kidding I just feel it, the boy got a lot of loves and needs to give and receiving (especially receiving).

You know those cliche movie where the boyfriend climb into your house so he could reach your bedroom ? He will do it, especially if he got free times and he felt lonely. Kazutora will just randomly climb into your bedroom and will knock at it with a lovely smile as if everything was normal (for fuck sake use the damn door baby boi).

He loves hugs whether he is the one who is been hugged of if you’re the one, either way he is fine as long as he gets close to you. Your warmth tends to relax him. He might even fall asleep if you’re stroking his hair or his neck (bonus point if you’re tracing the ink mark of his tattoo)

I feel like he loves kissing you too ? Like he just can’t stop kissing you ? He is an addict kisser. Like one day you were visiting him at the petshop dropping him a bento because you wanted to spoil your boyfriend. Even though he claimed to Chifuyu that he wasn’t tired 5min before you were here, suddenly he felt like he needs his 10min break. Guess who finds themselves being pushed against the wall as their boyfriends was kissing them deeply ? You. And he just didn’t kiss you once, no no that would be too simple, he will kiss you again and again one hand holding yours against the wall the other would be either on your cheek or on your neck. Good luck to find your breath after that. Believe me when I say that even when you were about to leave him so you could go back to school or whenever you were expected, Kazutora will take your hands in his to bring you against his chest to steal you a couple of kisses before finally leaving you.

Like I said he is an addict.

I can see him as the type to sometimes grab both of your cheeks with his hand and then kiss you, again and again.

He jus loves being close to you, so when you two are out for a date or just because you got the chance to meet him while you were going home. Kazu won’t hesitate and hold your hand stroking it with his fingers.

Holding hand is a minimum for him to best honestly

If he could he’d rather spend all of his time in your arms humming your smell getting warmth against you. But he can’t, so he is going to appreciate every occasion he got to get you close to him.

Since you’re his significant other Kazutora will be extra protector when it came to you, not afraid of threatening anyone that might be a bother to you.

Also he is jealous, he knows he shouldn’t feel like this especially since you’re always giving so much love and attention. But he can’t help but feel insecure, he knows what he is capable of, he knows his past, he knows what he has done, he is not perfect and certainly does not deserve love coming from such a piece of heaven like you. Yeah there would be time when Kazutora might be sad, feel down, and even though he’ll work on it so you won’t see it (afraid that you might be disappointed and will leave him) but you can tell that he is not feeling well.

Please, hold him tightly, tell him you love him, reminds him of much you cared about him, show him that there is no reason for him to be afraid. He just needs reassurance that you are here for good and that one day he wouldn’t wake up without you by side.

I just feel like he loves sleeping next to you, just the thought of sharing the same bed as him and getting the chance of waking up with you next to him is just his definition of heaven.

I also feel like is a tease, not on Mikey’s level, but I feel like sometimes out of nowhere Kazu will tickle you or whispering you something just to get to see your face turning red and then chuckle.

He is also the type to always give you his sweatshirt/coat, you don’t even need to be cold, if he noticed that you had been looking at his cloth or if you just compliment it boom its around your shoulder. It can be a way to show his possessiveness, like everyone would know that you belong to him who knows ? At least you won’t be cold.

He also the type to lay down on your bed and look at you with a loving smile, whether you were sleeping or not he doesn’t stop him from slightly stroking your cheeks bone, your cheek or even your lips loving the feeling of his hand/finger on your skin. It’s so smooth and soft he just can’t help.

Sometimes especially when he is sleepy, he will whisper things into your ear, kiss your all over your face.

A sucker for worshiping (do it for himself too)

Also he is not afraid to tell you he loves you, he might be not the first one to confess but once he knows that you love him. « I love you y/n » would be the first thing you will hear while waking up also the last thing before sleeping.

I think he might like the thought of you styling his hair even if all you’ve done was putting some cute clips on his hair he likes it and will even let you take picture. He is a sucker for your smile

Buy him jewelry and he will never take them off especially ring or necklace he just loves seeing you marking your territory.

As I stated before he is probably the type to overthinking a lot, like one day if you didn’t give the smile you used to give him, he is 100% you’ll dump him at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s not as bad as that, like you called him by his last name to tease him, he’ll just pout at you and then give you kiss all over your and won’t stop until you called him either by his name or by a nickname. But yes sometimes if you’re acting a little bit too cold to him he’ll think that your relationship is over, and will start to panic no knowing what to do to keep you by his side.

That’s the think with Kazutora he loves you more than he loves himself so he knows as a fact that he will be lost without you (not the only one to be honest but that’s for another headcanon)

So obviously you’ll need to be careful but since you’re still a human keep in mind to check him after if you’ve done something that let him think you guys were over.

Also, I can picture him to sometimes disappear. Like no one know where he is, not even you. He never left for too long (worst case : he leaves for a day), but sometimes he feels like he needs to be alone, like really alone. So he isolated himself for everyone, no one will know where he left, what he has done. But when he came back he always got that peaceful smile, the one where is eyes got nothing but regrets in them.

You feel like he spent his time in front of Baji ans Shinichiro’s grave, cause even years after this incident he couldn’t forgive himself for what he’s done to them. He can’t forgive him. Since he is lucky to be alive, sometimes he needs to see them in order to give him some strength in order to stay alive.

All the time when he is zoning out, you know he is thinking about all the bad things he has done to the people he cares the most, and even though he is working hard to be a better person what was done can’t be undone. Again hold his hand, stroke his hair do whatever you can to help him staying safe and not falling into his old demons.

Protect him at all cost.

Tag : @kshira

[lovelybarnes]

hot chocolate- p. parker

pairings: peter parker x reader, implied mother figure!natasha romanoff x reader, mentions of other characters warnings: teasing (but all lighthearted) about: peter is making hot chocolate in the summertime. the avengers have thoughts.

peter can already feel the onslaught of teasing the moment he brings the gallon of milk out of the fridge. sam and bucky are walking past, their conversation quieting and steps pausing when they notice him turning on the stove. “what are you doing? need warm milk to go to sleep?” sam questions, raising an eyebrow and sharing a look with bucky.

“no,” peter responds simply, pouring the milk into a mug and then dumping that into a small pot already placed on the lit stovetop. bucky spots the bag of chocolate and mini marshmallow mix on the counter, beginning to frown when tony passes. “stark, your kid is doing something weird again,” sam lets him know, the again referring to a week ago, when he caught peter pushing a humongous plant into the elevator. the reason- he prefers not saying.

tony looks from sam to peter, cocking his head when he realizes what he’s doing. “are you making hot chocolate right now?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed. “yes,” peter answers, a blush growing on his neck at being stared at by his mentor. “in the middle of a very hot summer?” tony continues, tone confused. peter cringes, “yes…?”

“i can’t even defend you this time,” tony mutters, giving up and walking away after an awkward silent minute of peter refusing to give any more information. “it’s like ninety degrees out today,” a new voice joins in, which peter instantly recognizes as steve. peter groans, mixing the heating milk with a spoon. “why are you making hot chocolate?” he wonders.

“i just… it just- it isn’t even hot in the tower!” peter exclaims in defense, turning to the newly formed group and sighing when he notices natasha walking towards it. great, he thinks, now the scariest person in the world is going to question me. like her being my girlfriend’s mother isn’t enough.

peter urges the milk to heat faster. it does not oblige.

“you’re making hot chocolate?” natasha asks, but peter is relieved to hear only genuine curiosity in her words and not the criticism and teasing he was fearing from her. peter turns to her, “y- yes. yes ma’am i am.”

“okay.” natasha shrugs after a moment, “don’t call me ma’am.”

“yes ma’am,” peter nods, watching her leave and squeezing his eyes shut when he realizes his mistake. “mister parker, the milk is about to burn,” friday informs helpfully, making peter turn back to what he was supposed to be paying attention to quickly and shutting off the stove. he cannot go through making another batch because he burnt milk in front of the avengers. “thank you friday,” he says.

he drains the milk into the mug again, chuckling softly when he reads the monogrammed words on the side of it, spiderman? nah. yourman. he still remembers your bright grin when he gave it to you for christmas, immediately easing all his worries that it was too cheesy. you had laughed when he told you his other options, pushing at his shoulder and scolding him for not putting them all on there.

it was your favorite mug nonetheless, and you never let anyone- other than him- touch it.

the metal spoon he’s using to mix in the chocolate powder clinks against the ceramic of the mug, inviting more narrowed eyes at him. “hot chocolate? oh, that’s such a good idea,” scott notes from his place next to hope as he walks to the elevator. “it’s not. you were just complaining over how hot you were,” hope points out. “maybe cassie will want some,” scott trails off.

peter sighs in relief when he feels the mix is blended together enough, reaching over to his side to grab the bag of mini marshmallows. “more?” someone criticizes behind him, and peter nods as he drops some into the mug. you always like extra.

“um. goodbye,” peter excuses when he turns, startled to still see sam and bucky standing there. he can still see them staring while the elevator doors close, making him exhale a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when the doors shut completely. his fingers tap against your mug while the elevator rises, his eyes watching the little red numbers in front of him rise until they reach your floor. he straightens his back, the sting of the burn from the hot chocolate unnoticeable to him because of his spider enhancement. it’s why you always hand him your hot drinks. you always kiss his fingers and nose in thanks, though.

he steps out when the doors part, walking straight to your room and quietly pushing open the door. “pete!” you say happily, throwing your phone on your bed while you sit up to greet him. “my hot chocolate!” you gasp, taking it from his hands and smelling it, “just how i like it,” you smile.

“you know i was just kidding, right?” you ask tentatively, putting the mug down on your bedside table and grabbing his warmed hands to press your lips all over his fingertips. “i did not,” peter replied with a laugh, “d’you still want it?”

“of course, i was kidding about wanting you to make me one but i still want one nonetheless,” you declare, pressing a kiss to his nose and then, finally, to his lips. “thank you,” you mutter against them, one of your hands sneaking around his neck to play with the soft curls at the nape of his neck. “‘course,” your boyfriend whispers, kissing you again.

“i hope no one gave you a hard time,” you comment, leaning away from peter to grab your mug, fingers unconsciously tracing the words of the pun on your mug. your other hand is busy with the spoon, grabbing all of the marshmallows and putting them in your mouth as you moan at the taste. “i forgot how much i missed this,” you mumble, still waiting for his response.

“no. no hard time, but everyone thinks i’m weird now,” he tells you, making you laugh. “you are,” you shrug, giggling at the look of betrayal on his features as you drink your hot chocolate. “you’re the one who wanted a hot chocolate in the summer!”

“you’re the one who puts up with me,” you retort, snuggling into him when he settles in next to you, drawing an arm around your shoulders. “with pleasure,” he replies, kissing your forehead.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Kiwi

Pairing: Peter Parker x film enthusiast!reader

Synopsis: Peter is skeptical of your new guy friend

Masterlist

You were a bit of a film nerd.

You always had something to say about a film. Whether it was random trivia about the actors or the original version of the script, you knew it and you had to share. Every time Peter heard you say, “did you know…”, during a movie, he knew he was in for something great. You seemed to know everything about every movie, and it brought Peter a great deal of amusement. His favorite thing, however, was when you showed him your favorite movies. You’d stay silent during these, always so enchanted by them. But when your favorite scene was coming, you’d let Peter know by giving his hand an anxious squeeze. That’s when he knew he had to stop looking at you and pay attention.

“Okay.” You turned the movie off and looked at Peter. “Be honest. What did you think?”

“I liked it.” Peter lied. He had barely paid attention. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the soft smile that rested on your lips throughout the film.

“That’s all?” You whined. “Did you know it took seven years to animate that dinner scene? Seven years for a three minute sequence. Isn’t that amazing?”

“It is.” Peter chuckled. “I was very impressed.”

“Me too.” You gushed. “It gets better every time.

“I bet. So how was your day today?” Peter asked as you laid your head down on his lap.

“I had a great day, actually.” You smiled up at him.

“Yeah?” Peter grinned as he stroked your hair. “What happened?”

“I was talking about The Babadook in theater today and this guy chimed in and told me it was his favorite horror film. Other than Midsommer, obviously.” You began. “Apparently he loves movies just as much as I do. Can you believe that?”

“Wow.” Peter nodded. “What’s his name?”

“Kevin.” You answered. “We’ve been texting all day. He’s making a list of his favorite movies and I’m making him a list of mine. God, I love when you meet someone and instantly click.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Peter said a little flatly. He didn’t love that you’d been texting this guy all day, especially when Peter didn’t know him. What he loved even less was how much you had in common with this guy.

As the weeks went on, Peter heard at least one mention of Kevin a day. Whether he was sending you a funny Tik tok or asking you for movie recommendations, Peter always saw his name on your phone. He checked out Kevin’s Instagram to see what he was like and saw a picture of the two of you with your arms around each other. Whenever Peter checked Kevin’s story on Snapchat, you were usually in in the background. It bothered Peter more than he liked, but he didn’t want to tell you he was jealous. He didn’t want you to think that he didn’t trust you, but he wasn’t so sure he trusted Kevin.

“Whats so funny?” Peter asked when he heard a giggle escape your lips. You were sitting on Peter’s bed, staring at your phone while he did his homework.

“It’s Kevin.” You chuckled as you typed something back. “I thought everyone in that class was uptight but he’s hilarious. I can’t believe we never spoke before this month. He’s like the funniest guy I know.”

“Wow. Good for you.” He smiled softly. “I’m glad you made a friend.”

“Me too. But enough about him. I want to hear about my lovely boyfriend.” You left your phone on the bed and went to Peter’s desk to sit with him. You sat down on his lap and wrapped your arms around him, bringing him into a long kiss.

“Your lovely boyfriend is very stressed about his annotated bibliography.” Peter sighed when he pulled away.

“Aw.” You cooed. “What’s it on?”

“Residential segregation in urban areas.” Peter told you.

“Hm.” You frowned. “I don’t know too much about that. But I could tell you five films that deal with it.”

“I’d love to hear them.” Peter smiled before leaning in for another kiss. Your kiss was cut short by the sound of your phone ringing.

“Hang on.” You sighed. “Sorry.”

“Who is it?” Peter asked as you went back to your phone.

“Kevin.” You answered before picking up. Peter frowned, feeling insecurity settle in his tummy.

“Hello?” You laughed softly. “I’m good. Yeah. It was Moonrise Kingdom. You’re welcome. Bye.”

“Sorry.” You said as you tossed your phone back on the bed. “He couldn’t remember the title of the movie I told him to watch.”

“Hm.” Peter nodded, not trusting himself to say anything helpful.

“Is everything okay?” You asked as you sat back down on his lap.

“Yeah.” He lied. “Everything is okay.”

A few weeks later, Peter was walking down the hallway when he spotted Kevin by the water fountain. He was too busy talking to some boy to notice Peter. Peter was thankful for this, since he was supposed to meet you between classes and he didn’t want Kevin to interrupt.

“There you are.” You came down the hallway and threw your arms around Peter. “Hi baby.”

“Hey princess.” Peter smiled before pulling you into a long kiss. He opened his eyes and flicked them up to see if Kevin was still there, which he was. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss out of spite.

“Woah.” You pulled away breathlessly after a minute. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Just wanted to show you some love. Since I love you so much.” Peter shrugged before kissing you again.

“I love you too.” You giggled between kisses.

“Do you want to come over after class today? I have a lot more love I want to show you.” Peter mumbled against your lips. He flicked his eyes to the side again and this time, Kevin was watching. He was too far to hear your conversation, but he could clearly see how affectionate Peter was.

“Yes, please.” You bit your bottom lip. “But I can’t come until after four. Kiwi and I-“

“Kiwi?” Peter wondered.

“Sorry, Kevin. Kiwi is my nickname for him.” You explained as Peter’s smile fell. “He and I were gonna get coffee after class.”

“Alone?” Peter pulled away a little with a pour. “Like on a date?”

“No.” You laughed. “Peter, Kevin is-“

“Can we not talk about Kevin?” He cut you off and pulled you back into his arms. “I want to hear about your day. How was class?”

“Good. It’s just so long. I can’t sit through it all without zoning out. That’s usually when I start thinking about you.” You smirked as you rubbed your nose against his.

“Thinking about little old me?” Peter touched a hand to his chest before pulled you into another kiss. He slid his hand down your body and gave your butt a squeeze, making sure he was extra affectionate in front of Kevin.

“Whew.” You pulled away in surprises for laughed. “We are in the hallway, mister. Save that for later.”

“I will.” He smacked your butt for good measure. “I’ll see you after four.”

“See you.” You blew him a kiss as you walked away. Peter smirked and leaned against the wall, pleased with himself for his little public display of affection.

Since Kevin was so very fond of posting you on his social media, Peter made sure to put a picture of you sleeping on his story. He added the caption “when she sleeps in your bed more than her own” just so everyone knew what was going on.

A few weeks later, you went to Peter’s dorm after a long day of classes in need of some cuddles. You opened Peter’s door and found him laying in his bed.

“Hey, princess.” He sat up a little in his bed. “You had a midterm today right?”

“Yeah. I didn’t do too well though.” You sighed. “There was an essay at the end that I didn’t really know how to answer.”

“I’m sorry.” He frowned and opened his arms to you. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” You mumbled as you climbed into his arms. “I was kinda bummed but then Kevin and I went to Dunkin so I feel better. It’s just a test.”

Peter quieted down when you mentioned Kevin, feeling that familiar sense of jealousy in his stomach.

“Is something wrong?” You noticed his mood change.

“Why are you and Kevin always together?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “We just like spending time together.”

“Do you hang out in a group or just you and him?” Peter wondered.

“Usually just me and him.” You told him, which is exactly what he didn’t want to hear. Peter pouted and tilted his chin up, not wanting you to see that he was upset.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, sitting up a little to stroke his face.

“He knows everything about movies. He’s the funniest guy you know.” Peter repeated the words you used. “And he takes up all your time. I don’t know, I’m a little worried.”

“About what? Kevin is just a friend.”

“But is that all he wants to be?” Peter asked. “Think about it, princess. You have the same passion as him and you’re drop dead gorgeous. There’s no way he’s not into you.”

“I promise you, he’s not.” You chuckled softly. “And he knows I have a boyfriend. I talk about you all the time.”

“You talk about him all the time too.” Peter said quietly.

“Hey, Petey.” You rolled on top of him and cupped his face. “You have no reason to be worried or jealous. I love you, okay? No one could take your place.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded, satisfied with what you said. “I believe you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad you told me how you were feeling.” You smiled softly. “I’ll stop talking about him as much if it bothers you.”

You kept your word and stopped bringing Kevin up, which Peter appreciated. What Peter didn’t know was he’d still have you watch you laugh at Kevin’s texts and see the two of you in the hallways.

A few weeks later, Peter surprised you outside of your economics class during his free period.

“Hey, princess.” He came up behind you and pulled you into a hug.

“Peter!” You lit up. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Really?” Peter asked hopefully.

“Yeah. Kevin is about to get out of class. You can finally meet him.” You told him, and his smile fell. Of course your excitement was Kevin related. Before Peter could respond, Kevin walked out of a classroom and went up to you.

“There’s my girl.” He squeezed your hand. “How was economics?”

“Boring but he wore those pants again.” You laughed a little. Kevin seemed to know exactly what you were talking about, but Peter didn't.

“Did you take a picture?” Kevin’s eyes widened in excitement.

“I couldn’t.” You whined. “He was always facing us.”

“Ugh. Next time.” Kevin laughed. Peter looked between the two of you and cleared his throat, signaling that he was there.

“Oh, right.” You giggled. “Kevin, this is Peter.”

“It’s about time.” Kevin reached out to shake Peter’s hand. “Y/n told me all about you, Mr. Biochemistry and engineering major.”

“Nice to meet you.” Peter said stiffly as he draped an arm over your shoulders.

“You too.” Kevin smiled. “I gotta say, you’re the luckiest man in the world to be dating Y/n. I’m ready to marry her and I’ve only known her two months.”

“Yeah, well.” Peter smiled tightly and pulled you closer. “She’s taken.”

“I know.” Kevin sighed wistfully. “She never lets me forget it.”

“Haha.” Peter faked a laugh and hugged you even tighter. “I won’t either.”

“Aw.” Kevin smiled at the two of you. “Well, I wish I could stay but I have class in five minutes. It was great to meet you, Peter. We should all hang out soon.”

“Yeah.” Peter nodded. “Sure.”

“Bye Kiwi.” You called after him once he w no as walked away. You turned to Peter to see his reaction and noticed the displeased look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

“Did he seriously just say he wanted to marry you? In front of me?” Peter asked angrily.

“He was kidding.” You assured him. “He would never marry me.”

“He didn’t take his eyes off you the entire time we were talking.” He grumbled.

“Hey.” You put a hand on Peter’s chest to calm him down. “You have nothing to worry about. Kevin is harmless. He likes me as a friend. He would never see me as something more.”

“I don’t know, princess.” Peter sighed and put his hand over yours. “He seems to really like you. I don’t think I’m comfortable with you guys hanging out alone all the time.”

“I understand what you’re saying.” You nodded. “But I promise, I wouldn’t be hanging out with this guy if I had any impression that he liked me.”

“Maybe he’s just good at hiding it around you.” Peter shrugged.

“He and I were gonna watch Eternal Sunshine this Friday. Would it make you feel better if you came too?” You suggested. “I’ve been meaning to show you that movie anyway.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded, feeling a little better. His frown didn’t let up, so you pinched his cheek.

“I love you.” You teased him.

“I love you too.” He broke into a smile finally.

Come Friday, you, Peter and Kevin were sitting in your dorm in front of a white sheet. Peter and Kevin sat in awkward silence as you fumbled with the projector.

“Okay, I think I got it.” You said finally, and the image appeared on the white sheet. You went to sit between Kevin and Peter, but Peter had other plans.

“You can sit with me, princess. Right here.” Peter loudly patted his lap. You laughed a little and took a seat between his legs, letting him pull you into his body. He wrapped his arms securely around your waist and pressed loud kisses to your cheek.

“You guys are so cute.” Kevin commented as he grabbed some popcorn.

“Thanks.” Peter said through an evil smile. He kissed your cheek again and snuggled you closer.

As the movie went on, Peter became progressively more affectionate. Usually you wouldn’t mind, but you didn’t want to make Kevin uncomfortable.

“Baby, not now.” You whispered to Peter as he kissed your neck. He had already left a hickey right where Kevin could see it.

“Sorry. I just can’t resist you.” Peter whispered back. Instead of kissing you, he slid his hands up your shirt and cupped your boobs. You craned your neck to raise an eyebrow at him, but he played dumb.

“What?” He asked innocently. “My hands were cold.”

“Sure.” You chuckled and let him keep his hands there the rest of the movie.

The following week, Peter walked through the halls feeling better about the whole Kevin situation. You spent the weekend in Peter’s dorm, only ever leaving for the bathroom or food. Peter made sure he posted pictures of you together throughout the day for Kevin to see. He could tell his jealousy was getting a little out of control, but he couldn’t help it. As long as Kevin was around, he had to keep his guard up.

Peter spotted your backpack in the crowded hallway and began to make his way to you. You usually walked back to the dorms together on Mondays since your classes ended at the same time. Peter stopped walking when he saw Kevin come out of a classroom and go over to you. He kept his back against the wall as he watched you and Kevin talk, feeling insecure once again. You were laughing loudly at whatever Kevin was saying, which made Peter roll his eyes.

“See you tomorrow, okay?” Kevin asked, brushing your cheek lightly with his thumb. You smiled excitedly and put your hand over his to keep it in place. Peter felt a white hot jealousy shot through his body when he saw this, a jealousy that quickly turned or anger. It was made even worse when Kevin pulled you into a hug. Peter had seen enough at that point and walked over to you and Kevin with heavy footsteps.

“Hey.” Peter said, shooting daggers at Kevin as he put a protective hand on your shoulder.

“Hey Petey.” You smiled and leaned into him.

“Hey, Peter.” Kevin waved. “Your girlfriend is a saint, by the way. I would not have made it through this semester without her.”

“Aw.” You gushed. “Stop.”

“I wouldn’t have.” He insisted. “I wish I could stay but I better run. Austin is waiting for me.”

“Ooo la la.” You teased. “See you at rehearsal.”

“See you.” He waved goodbye to the both of you and Peter was finally able to let out the breath he’d been holding in.

“Are you ready to walk home?” You asked as you turned to Peter.

“What the hell was that?” Peter jumped in right away, surprising you with his tone.

“What do you mean?” You blinked in confusion.

“You and Kevin.” He said. “Why was he touching you like that? And why were you touching him back?”

“Kiwi was just-“

“Enough of this Kiwi shit.” Peter cut you off. “How are you going to tell me I have nothing to worry about and then let him touch and you like that?”

“He was only touching me because-“

“Because he likes you? Like I said he did?” Peter didn’t let you finish. “You guys are together all the time, you’re always talking about him, and now you’re openly affectionate right in front of me? If you’re going to cheat on me, you could be a little more subtle.”

“Cheat on you?” Your eyes widened. “I am not cheating on you. I thought we cleared this up.”

“I thought so too. But apparently not.” Peter snapped. “Apparently you and your new boyfriend just can’t keep your hands off each other.”

“Kevin is not my boyfriend. You are.” You said quietly. “But you’re really hurting my feelings, Peter. How could you accuse me of something like that?”

“How could I not? It’s not like you’re trying to hide it.” He scoffed. “If I wasn’t standing right there, he probably would have kissed you.”

“I can promise you he wouldn’t.” You said as you looked at the ground.

“I can’t believe you’re still denying it after what I saw.” Peter said, getting emotional now. “How can you throw away everything we had for a guy you just met?”

“I didn’t throw anything away.” You looked up with tears in your eyes. “You’re the one ruining things with this stupid fight. How many times do I have to tell you that there’s nothing going on between me and Kevin? And how could you accuse me of cheating? Do you really think that little of me?”

“Now that you’ve shown me who you really are, I do.” Peter shot back. You sucked in a sharp breath and took a step back from him.

“You can walk home yourself.” You said through tears. “I don’t want to talk to you ever again.”

“Fine by me.” Peter shrugged, but he was already starting to regret everything. Before he could apologize for making you cry, you walked away. He decided to give you some space instead of running after you right away. Instead, he walked in the opposite direction and began to wander around campus. And sure enough, he ran in to...

“Hey Peter.” Kevin greeted with a smile. “I thought you were walking home with Y/n?”

“She left without me.” Peter grumbled without looking up. Kevin was the very last person he wanted to talk to right now.

“Is everything okay?” Kevin asked when he noticed Peters angry demeanor.

“It’s not really any of your business.” Peter narrowed his eyes at him.

“Okay.” Kevin backed off. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Kevin.” Peter rolled his eyes.

“Ugh. I hate the name Kevin.” Kevin tried to lighten the mood.

“Why?” Peter took the bait.

“It’s so masculine.” He grimaced. “It’s like, ‘hey, I’m Kevin. Wanna hear how loud my car engine is?’ Please. It’s so not me.”

“Is that why Y/n calls you Kiwi?” Peter asked, genuinely curious.

“Yeah.” Kevin smiled. “Cause I’m little fruity.”

“Fruity?” Peter wondered.

“Sorry.” Kevin chuckled. “I mean gay.”

“You’re gay?” Peter’s eyes widened. “Like, gay gay?”

“Yes sir.” Kevin replied. “But I haven’t come out to everyone yet. Only Y/n and my boyfriend Austin know. I asked them not to tell anyone. I don’t need anything else for people to target me for, you know?”

Peter stared at him for a moment, feeling a panic run down his spine. He had just accused you of cheating on him with your gay best friend.

“I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend.” Peter mumbled, feeling himself begin to sweat. You endured all of Peter’s accusations to keep Kevin’s secret, and now Peter felt awful.

“Damn.” Kevin said. “Does Y/n not talk about me? I tell Austin all about her.”

“She tries. I never let her.” Peter said sadly, angry with himself now.

“Why not?”

“Because I was stupid and super jealous.” Peter sighed and rubbed his face. “I was jealous even when she told me not to be.”

“Jealous of me?” Kevin laughed. “I don’t even like girls.”

“I didn’t know that. All I knew was you could talk to her about films and movies and I couldn’t.” Peter shrugged sadly. “I kept thinking you could make her happier than I could, so I got jealous. I’m such an idiot. You know I yelled at her today because of this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you touching her face in the hallway and nearly lost my mind. I completely took it out on her.” Peter stressfully tugged at his hair.

“Oh, that.” Kevin laughed. “I’m the male lead in Y/n’s film project. My character is straight and I was having trouble portraying an accurate straight guy. She was teaching me some mannerisms that you do so I could use them on my scene partner. That thing in the hallway was just me joking around and showing her that I had been practicing. I never would’ve gotten through this theater class without her.”

“Oh my God.” Peter covered his mouth with his hand. “I made her cry over that? I thought you guys were sleeping together or something. I didn’t know she was helping you.”

“Yikes.” Kevin grimaced. “That’s not really fair. It’s not like she was the one touching me. Why would you yell at her over that?”

“Because I’m an idiot.” Peter said lamely. “And I don’t listen. She told me so many times that I had nothing to worry about. She said you didn’t like her like that, said you’d never marry her. She told me you weren’t a threat in every possible way without telling me your secret. And I just didn’t listen.”

“Peter, Y/n loves you. She would never cheat on you.” Kevin said like it was obvious. “She deserves a better apology than “I’m an idiot.” If my boyfriend tried to apologize to me like that, I’d tell him he was right and dump him.”

“Do you think she’s gonna break up with me?” Peter worried.

“Well how did you end things with her?”

“She told me to never speak to her again and walked away crying.” Peter recanted.

“Oh.” Kevin said quietly.

“What?” Petwr panicked.

“The good news is she’s not gonna break up with you.” Kevin began. “The bad news is she already did.”

“What?” Peter worried. “That was her breaking up with me?”

Before Kevin could answer, his phone buzzed with a text from you. He looked at it and cringed before looking at Peter.

“Oh no.” Peter gulped. “What did she say?”

“She said she just broke up with you and needs a coffee pick me up.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded.

“She also says she hates you and you broke her heart.” Kevin continued.

“Fuck.” Peter sighed. “I really messed up.”

“Yes. You did.” Kevin nodded. “And I’m sorry, but have no sympathy for you. She told you I wasn’t a threat and she was right. We both know Y/n, and you know her even better than I do. So we both know she’s not a cheater or a liar. She’s just a film nerd who likes to talk about her passions.”

“I know. I really fucked up.” Peter mumbled. “You’re her best friend. How can I win her back?”

“Why would you ask a gay man how to win a girl back?” Kevin asked. “Fuck if I know.”

“Right. Sorry.” Peter stammered. “Did she say anything else?”

“She said she’s meeting me at Dunkin in five minutes. And then she wants to watch Pride and Prejudice. Jesus, Peter. Pride and Prejudice? How bad did you hurt her?”

“Really bad.” He feared.

“Well now I have to go clean up your mess.” Kevin sighed. “And just so you know, I will be telling her the best way to get over you is to get under someone else. It’s always been my dream to say that.”

“Please don’t do that.” Peter begged. “Don’t tell her to sleep with anyone else.”

“If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.” Kevin shrugged as he sent you a text.

“What?” Peter asked. “What does that mean?”

“I’m sorry, Peter. But I’m on Y/n’s side with this. I can’t help you anymore. So don’t show up, don’t come out, and definitely don’t start caring about her now.”

“Are you speaking in riddles?” Peter whispered.

“Walk away.” Kevin nodded. “You know how.”

With that, Kevin walked away and left Peter all alone.

Peter trudged back to his dorm alone and sent you a long apology. You texted him back a day later and told him you needed some space, which he understood. He let two weeks go by before knocking on your door.

“What are you doing here?” You asked when you opened the door for Peter. He could tell you had been crying and could hear a movie playing in the background.

“Apologizing to my beautiful girlfriend who’s feelings I hurt.” He said sheepishly as he held out the ice coffee he had brought you.

“I’m not your girlfriend.” You stated, eyes flicking to the ice coffee. Peter held it out further and you took it from him, grabbing a reusable straw off your dresser.

“Yes.” Peter agreed. “But for the small price of letting me in the door, you could be again.”

“Fuck off.” You scoffed and tried to close the door.

“Here me out.”Peter pleaded and stuck his foot in the door. “What if I fuck in so we can talk? Please? I really miss you.”

“I don’t miss you.” You said without missing a beat.

“You posted the lyrics to All Too Well three times this week. You have to miss me a little.” Peter reasoned.

“What are you doing here?” You sighed, knowing he was right. “I thought I told you not to talk to me.”

Peter frowned and looked around for anyone who might be listening.

“I didn’t know Kevin was gay.” He said quietly.

“He isn’t out yet.”

“I know.” Peter nodded. “He told me.”

“You talked to him?” You raised an eyebrow at him as you sipped your drink.

“Yeah. He’s a cool guy.” Peter smiled shyly. “I see why you hang out with him.”

“Yeah. He is a cool guy. He trusts me when I ask him to and doesn’t misplace his anger.” You said through a tight smile as you walked into your room. Peter followed and shut the door behind him. He saw that you were playing Little Women on your projector and had tissues strewn all around the room.

“I fucked up.” He told you. “I never should have accused you of cheating. And I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You didn’t deserve that.”

“How many times did I tell you Kevin wasn’t a threat?” You set down your drink and folded your arms. “You said he made you uncomfortable so I stopped talking about him. You said you didn’t want us to be alone all the time so I invited you to hang out with us. I did everything I could to make you feel more comfortable without outing my friend and it still wasn’t enough for you. You just don’t trust me.”

“I do trust you.” He promised. “But I was insecure and jealous, even when you told me I didn’t need to be. I couldn’t help but feel like he could be a better boyfriend to you. He can talk to you about your passions in ways I can’t. That’s why I got so mad. I felt like I couldn’t measure up.”

“No one asked you to.” You shrugged. “I never expected you to know random shit about movies. It’s just something I like. I was happy with you just the way you were.”

“And I was too blinded by my jealousy to see that.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. You told me to trust you and I didn’t. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

“I don’t care.” You told him. “I just want you to leave.”

“I’m scared that if I walk out, we won’t fix things.” Peter said softly.

“Good.” You said flatly. “So get out.”

Peter opened his mouth to speak, but realized he had nothing productive to add. His eyes shifted to your projector, where Little Women was still playing.

“Did you know the costume designer made the same article of clothing for Saoirse and Timothee so it could look like Jo and Laurie shared clothing?” Peter asked quietly.

“Yeah, I did know that.” You nodded. “How did you?”

“I’ve been doing research on films you like to impress you.” Peter admitted. “Did you know they used Angelina Jolie’s real daughter in Maleficent because all the other children were scared?”

“I knew that too.” You cracked the faintest hint of a smile.

“Well did you know that Psycho-“

“Was the first film to feature a toilet flushing.” You finished his sentence for him. “Yeah, I know. You googling top ten crazy movie facts isn’t gonna fix this.”

“I know.” Peter agreed. “But I hope it shows you how badly I want to try.”

You stared at Peter for a long time, unsure of what to do. You chewed your bottom lip as you mulled over your options. You knew he was sorry, but you didn’t know if you were ready to forgive him.

“You asked me to leave. I’ll listen this time. I’m sorry about everything.” Peter gave you a soft smile before turning to leave.

“Peter, wait.” You said, and he internally rejoiced.

“Yes?” He asked innocently as he turned back around.

“I made more popcorn than I can eat.” You said timidly. “You should stay and finish the movie with me so I don’t waste it.”

“Okay.” Peter smiled in relief and took a seat on your floor. You sat down next to him and handed him the bowl of popcorn.

“But just so the popcorn doesn’t go to waste.” You reminded him and he took a handful.

“No, of course.” Peter nodded, not wanting to push his luck. You stared at him for a minute as he fought back a smile, losing his battle in no time. You rolled your eyes at him before resting your head on his shoulder.

“I’m only doing this for neck support.” You told him.

“I believe you.” He answered as he wrapped an arm around you. “I love you, princess.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You smiled a little as you put some popcorn in your mouth. “Whatever.”

Tag list 🏷

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[creativeashproductions]

Change of Scenery // Evan Buckley

IN WHICH: Captain Bobby Nash has kept a secret from his friends, his wife and his step children since 2015 when he came to LA. Bobby’s eldest and only surviving child comes to LA to reconcile and make amends all the while she catches the eye of a certain blue eyed firefighter.

Warnings: Swearing, death/familial loss, pregnancy, blood, angst, injuries/medical emergency, and fluff

Words: 8k

A/N: Back at it with another 9-1-1 fic. Hope you enjoy, and I may just have to do another crossover with 9-1-1 and Julie and the Phantoms.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

There are moments in our lives that define us, whether it can be known as a positive or negative, but the outcome is always the same. A six-letter word that strikes fear and excitement into the souls of humans is change. The fear can be for ourselves or as a result of a child, a sibling, or a parent branching out on their own. Unfortunately, you had gone through a harsh and cruel experience on a cold winter night in the city you grew up in.

A typical Thursday filled with classes at the college you attended in Minnesota on a scholarship, nothing out of the ordinary. The plan had been to drive to your parents’ apartment to catch up with them for the weekend. Saturday morning was already reserved for a girls day with your little sister Brook and your mom. In the afternoon, you’d promised to take your brother Bobby to the ball diamond.

Your bag was packed, the plan to drive straight from class to St. Paul the following day to arrive in the daylight. Your dad struggled with worry when it came to you driving in the dark and especially in winter with icy roads.

“Y/N!” Dottie screeched from the living room of the four-bedroom dormitory. The pretty and curvy brunette had been the first friend you made in college.

Typically Dottie was on the quieter side, so when she screamed, you practically sprinted to the girl.

“Where’s the fire?” You demanded with a smirk at the reference to a topic that was a constant in your family. 

The fire drills your father conducted every four months for an exit plan in case of a fire and general information to save yourselves. He had also trained you to remember fire hazards and how to call dispatch with clear information if that time ever came. It never did and hopefully never would.

“The Lakeview Apartments in St. Paul.” Dottie’s dark brown eyes spoke only of pity and concern. The five foot ten roommate literally caught you as you tumbled into her arms with a loud grief-stricken scream.

You were forever indebted to the brunette for the plans she sacrificed to drive you back to St. Paul. There was absolutely no chance Dottie would allow you to both drive and be alone with no news. The media hadn’t released the names of the 148 deaths the fire relentlessly tore from the land of the living.

“I want to prepare you for what you’ll see. Your mother suffered severe third-degree burns over the majority of her body.” The kind nurse, also one of your friend’s parent, explained as she guided you to the Burn Center in the Regions Hospital, “I don’t want to lie and tell you she’ll be fine. You’re an adult Y/N. You deserve the truth and not be coddled.”

“Is she gonna survive?” You quietly asked, “Has she woken up since she was brought in?”

“The doctor placed her on a high dosage of morphine for the pain. Your father hasn’t left her side.” Lucinda informed you with sympathy written as over her face, The hazel eyes unable to adequately meet yours.

“I’ll check on her, then could you take me to the rooms my siblings are in?” You asked, completely unaware Brook and Bobby had been DOA at the hospital.

Your father hadn’t answered the text messages or the voicemails you had left on his phone—radio silent. You couldn’t be mad when he was with your mom, but a text would have been nice.

“This is where your mother is staying for the unforeseeable future. If you need anything, you can call me.” Lucinda softly replied before turning her heel to head back to the Burn Centre’s front desk.

It was horrific walking into a room with no idea if the occupant who had raised you would survive. The confident, gorgeous mother you had for the past nineteen years was unfamiliar to you, the extensive gauze covering nearly every inch of her body. You almost couldn’t even recognize the man sitting in the chair with his hands wrapped. 

“Dad? What happened?” You questioned the grieving man. The only person left in your family as you would soon come to know.

“Y/N?” Bobby gasped, pushing himself to his feet, staring at his only living child. The guilt ate at him just staring at you with those light brown eyes, “Oh, sweetheart.”

Your dad crossed the room in a few steps. The scent of smoke was still clinging to every part of him, but it was fine. Your dad was okay, minus the wounds on his hands. You’d always been closer with your father than your mother.

“Dad, what happened?” You quietly asked the ashamed firefighter that had to reconcile his feelings on the fire and his career—that struggle ending up pushing you away when he really just wanted you as close as possible.

“The building caught on fire after an ember from a heater lit a blanket on fire,” Bobby informed you with his eyes pinned on his wife. Bobby knew the chances of Marcy surviving were incredibly low, and he had to tell you that.

Bobby only knew the details passed on from a firefighter who pitied the man who’d lost most of his family. 

“Is Mom gonna be okay?” You questioned, and the said injured woman in the bed weakly responded.

“Baby?” Marcy quietly questioned from her absolutely still position on the hospital bed, “Uh, Bobby.”

You left your father’s side to be as close to your mom as possible, with the clear plastic separating you for her safety. Your heart shattered at the sheer exhaustion in her pretty blue eyes. 

“Hi, Mom.” You shakily spoke with one hand lightly pressed against the plastic divider. You didn’t even notice when your dad stepped up too.

“Marcy?” Bobby called out from right beside you, just as torn up, but Bobby carried extra weight on his shoulders, “We’re right here, Marcy. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

The muffled grunt of pain, your mom’s attempt to save you from grief, Marcy let out as she turned her head to look at you. You knew deep in your gut that this was the time place you would see your mom alive. And by the look in her eyes, she knew too.

“The...kids…?” Your mom’s breathing became more erratic as she questioned the man she viewed as her hero. The man she believed had saved her and their youngest children, “Where...are they?”

“The kids are fine.” The way your father said it and the tears led to the knowledge once kept from you.

“No.” You whispered, seeing the total grief written clear on his face. The pain meds and agony kept your mom from knowing the truth.

“They’re safe.”

“I knew you’d come and save us.” Your mom breathed as her eyes started hiding the pretty blue you’d now only see in pictures. In your dreams, until even those faded as father time cruelly pulled you along.

Then your worst nightmare happened. You watched as the woman you looked up to flatlined with the thought of her children safe. You’d always know she’d held on just long enough to find out the state of her children. You could only hope she’d forgive your father for lying to her as she died.

“Mom!” You screamed, fighting the arms of an orderly restraining you. You barely noticed the resistance to your frantic attempts.

One minute you were staring at a team unsuccessfully trying to revive your long-gone mother, then you were in a hotel room. The atmosphere tense and quiet between father and daughter, with the ghost of your dead family to keep you both company. You could hear Brook gagging every time you’d kissed your now ex. You could see Bobby toddling after you years ago.

At least you had your father—a father whose guilt festered until he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“It was my fault.” He murmured, staring at the barely eaten burger that tasted solely just cardboard. He couldn’t bear to look at your face, “I didn’t mean to leave it on.”

Your head snapped to stare at him in disbelief, “What do you mean you didn’t mean to leave it on?”

“I-I went to the roof to sleep after your mom kicked me out. I didn’t have my keys to the apartment I had below ours.” Bobby began spilling the lies he’d told to you about his addictions. Of the apartment, you’d had no clue was even in his possessions.

The pain of losing your family tore into you, “You took my mom away from me. I’ll never get to share my wedding day with her. Shopping for a dress and gossiping about boys. I’ll never be able to wipe Brook’s tears during her first heartbreak.”

Each word broke Bobby more and more.

“You stole my future. You’re selfish, ungrateful and utterly pathetic. You cost so many people so much, all because you sought out your next high.” You spat, glaring at someone you’d never expected to hurt you. You didn’t notice your hands grabbing your possessions nor opening the hotel room door, “You couldn’t even properly try to get clean.”

“Y/N-”

“Get your shit together before you kill anyone else. I never want to see you again.” You sobbed with regret already festering in your body, but pride held you back from apologizing.

Upon your return to your dorm with Dottie by your side, you immediately began the process to enter an exchange program. Within a month, your feet entered Sydney Airport. You didn’t return to America for several years.

You took a job as a casual lifeguard on Bondi Beach, met Lucas in a meet-cute situation at the grocery store. You graduated college and found a job as a paramedic as you began becoming a flight paramedic. In 2020 Lucas and you discovered you’d be bringing in a little baby into the world.

Learning about your little Cashew growing safe in your womb fanned the flame of desire to reconcile. Ultimately the pride kept pushing the urge to apologize for the cruel words you told your father further away. You naively believed you had all the time in the world.  

Remember the six-letter scary word? If losing your mom, siblings, and father was a devastating blow, losing Lucas was nearly tied. Your little Cashew lost their father before they even got to meet him. That was push enough to pack up your home and fly back to America with your father’s new address as soon as you could.

In the fallout of the apartment fire, your father relocated from Minnesota to Los Angeles. 

Los Angeles, 2020

As soon as you’d found the nicest but cheapest hotel to stay in until you found a place, you walked the streets of LA. The first order of business of approaching your father at his workplace as you had no personal address. Residing still in Minnesota, Deputy Chief Evans had only given you the address of Bobby’s work.

You could only hope Bobby wouldn’t turn you away. That he was willing to bridge the gap, you’d widened over the years. That he could forgive the silence to each email, he sent when you changed numbers.

“We should go out to dinner.” The female voice was what brought you back to the present time. The woman was beautiful with her buzzed head and clear skin.

Right by her side was a dark-haired male of Asian ethnicity with a bag thrown over his shoulder, “If you’re paying, you bet I’ll be there.”

The two continued to converse in their own world until the man had to literally dodge you when they finally noticed you.

“Does Chief Bobby Nash work here?” You inquired, having no desire to enter small talk when the baby was sitting on your bladder again. You nearly retched when the man stared down at your swollen midsection, shocked, “It’s not his baby.”

Hen caught the evident disgust on your face, “He’s in his office. I’ll guide you there…”

“Y/N.” You supplied the firefighter. Hen smiled in response, “And your name is…”

“Henrietta Wilson, but you can call me Hen. That was Howard Han. He goes by Chimney, and I’ve been sworn to secrecy on the name.” Hen chuckled in her steps to the closed door of the fire chief. Hen swiftly knocked on the door to give Bobby a heads up.

“Come in!” Bobby called from his pile of paperwork he had pushed and waited to work on. It had slipped as the date came closer. Your twenty-seventh birthday, the seventh one since he last saw you.

“Cap, a woman is asking for you,” Hen told her friend and boss. It’s a good thing you didn’t choose to surprise your father because Hen was shorted, and your bump made manoeuvring around tricky.

“What can I do…” Bobby trailed off when he saw the girl waiting to talk to him. The pen in his hand dropped to the table in shock.

Hen glanced between the two equally taken aback individuals, “Am I missing something here?”

“Hey, dad.” You whispered to the man who’d been dreaming of this moment since the minute you left. He’d searched for you at your previous college and nearly made a missing person report.

“Dad?” Hen couldn’t pick her jaw up from the floor if she even wanted to because this was juicy information. Sure, Bobby had caved into telling his team, his family that he’d lost his wife and two children in a fire.

He rarely talked about his life before the 118, but he’d never mentioned having a surviving daughter. Not in the handful of times he’d talked about the tragedy, nor did he have any objects or photos of you. 

“You’re really here?” Bobby lightly chuckled with a twinkle in his eye. Hen had only seen a handful of times. All of them had Athena in the scene, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You beamed, stepping closer to the man you’d missed dearly, “I’m so sorry for the way I left. What I said was cruel and untrue. You aren’t selfish, and I can’t blame you for something you couldn’t control.”

Bobby grinned. He’d stepped around his desk only to halt when he took in an undeniable development—the baby bump you carried.

“Is-”

“I’m pregnant. Six months along with a baby girl.” You laughed to the apparent disbelief in your father’s light brown eyes. His gaze continued to shift between the bump and your e/c eyes.

“Wow. Sorry, this is...wow.” 

“She’s one of the reasons I wanted to come back. To fix our relationship because I want her to know her grandpa. You’re the only grandparent Poppy will know.” Bobby was quick to tug you into his arms as soon as the first tear dropped down your cheek.

There was so much you wanted to tell your father, but that overwhelming grief rose higher. You’d left Australia where Lucas laid in a plot in a cemetery. You left the friends you’d found in the city. Left the lifeguard job you’d come to love.

“Where are you and your partner staying?”

“He...uh...Lucas passed away recently.”

The arms holding you tightened in response to your confession, “Oh sweetheart.”

“I didn’t know where else to go. I can’t stay in the home we bought. Not the place he died when I couldn’t save him.”

“I don’t know what happened, but it wasn’-”

“Don’t coddle me. I was...am a paramedic. A flight paramedic, to be specific, so I know that my hesitation could be the reason he died.”

Your career took the father by complete and utter surprise because you’d always planned on a different job. Before the fire that claimed so many lives, you’d never entertained a career in the emergency field.

“We have a lot to catch up on. First, you need to know that I’ll always love your mother no matter what, but you need to know. I met someone when I first moved here, and we were friends at first. She divorced her husband. We started dating...sweetheart, I remarried.”

A wave of emotions flared in your chest, from betrayal to sadness and ultimately happiness. Having lost your first love, you understood and knew if love came around for you, you wouldn’t ignore it. Lucas wouldn’t want that.

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

Re-entering into Bobby’s new life was a difficult adjustment for everyone included. Tension had risen between Athena and Bobby for a brief period. Athena hadn’t even been aware of your existence, but she could fault Bobby. Athena had even told her first husband about her late fiance Emmett when they were still together.

It was difficult for you with the new addition of two step-siblings in the same birth order as Brook and Bobby had been. The Grant siblings had welcomed you into the family without any reservations.

“Did you ever get to fly the chopper?” Harry asked as he scrubbed the dirty dish from the Sunday family dinner. 

It was the first dinner that had no awkward tension since you arrived back in the country. Athena had taken a bit to warm up, but it was nothing personal. She’d actually been the one to find you you’d been staying at a hotel. Mama Athena did not like her pregnant step-daughter living at a hotel. She’d actually stormed your room with Hen and Karen as back up to pack your room and leave for the Grant-Nash house.

“No. I had to help keep the patients alive. If I’m telling the truth...sometimes I didn’t even notice I was in the air.” You whispered to your stepbrother. He was just invested in your career as he had been when Bobby first entered their lives.

“That is so cool!” Harry enthused with soap suds splashing your thin knitted sweater. Harry’s mouth formed an ‘o’ when you flicked water onto his face in retaliation.

“Do you know Bondi Beach in Australia?” You inquired the youth with the chore of dishes completed.

“Yeah! There’s a tv show called Bondi Rescue! I watch the clips on YouTube!” Harry exclaimed, hot on your heels to the couch. Out of May and Harry, he followed you around with questions about your life in Australia.

“I was a casual lifeguard. I’m not featured on that show, but I would get called in when a lifeguard was needed. It paired well with my job as a flight paramedic.” You half-smiled, remembering the Bondi lifeguards who had welcomed you into the family. You became one of them when they started pranking you.

“Did you ever see a shark-”

“Harry, go brush your teeth. Leave Y/N alone.” Athena informed her youngest from the open patio doors. Your father, Athena and May had been outside as soon as the table had been cleared.

“But-”

“Harry,” Athena warned the youngest Grant. Harry didn’t attempt to argue with his stern mother; all he did was hug you quickly. You watched the young boy disappear into the hallway.

“He reminds you of your little brother?” Athena questioned. In your time of reminiscing, the older woman had settled in Harry’s previous position.

“A little.” You whispered, “Thank you for welcoming me into the family. For making my dad happy.”

“You know I may have some baby clothes put away if you’d like to use them?” Athena offered with that smile that made you feel at home. Athena was far different from your late mother, with her presence commanding respect and intelligence. Your mom was similar, but I suppose it could be described as a softer touch.

“Anyway, saving a penny is appreciated. I have a question for you also.” You hesitantly started with a bundle of nerves deep in your belly. Athena turned to give you her full attention.

“Well? Out with it.” Athena pushed, but she had a slight feeling of what you were about to ask her.

“My mom was one the strongest women I know. It hurts that my baby won’t get to experience her love and guidance, and you can say no. We’ve only known each other a short time, but would you consider...maybe being a grandma to my baby?”

Giddy was the feeling Athena developed along with the laughing smile that only came from happiness. The woman could only nod her head in response to your hesitant question. To Athena’s knowledge but not yours, Bobby was softly smiling, watching his formerly estranged daughter getting along with your stepmom.

“Oh!” You gasped as your baby kicked hard enough for her foot imprint to be seen through your knitted sweater. 

Bobby was by your side in concern the second he heard your startled sound, but Athena wasn’t that concerned. Athena remembered having the same reaction.

“Are you okay?” Bobby frantically questioned. He faltered when the woman shared a belly-deep laugh at the sheer fear written in the seasoned firefighter’s eyes.

“Poppy was kicking.” You chuckled as your father’s shoulders dropped in relief, “Here.”

Your nimble fingers clasped around your father’s wrist to bring his palm to the spot Poppy was kicking. A certain lightness flooded your entire body, being capable of sharing this experience with Bobby. Watching tears well up in the grandpa to be’s brown eyes.

“Whoa.” Bobby breathlessly spoke as Poppy kicked against his palm. The feeling building in his was exhilarating with the small amount of grief mixed in, “I remember when your mom was pregnant with you. We didn’t know if we were having a girl or boy, but she was adamant you would be a kickboxer. So active.”

Athena watched as the relationship between father and daughter started healing directly in front of her eyes. The Sergeant was about to give you two some privacy when you caught her hand in your free one.

“Here.” You informed the older woman shifting to place her hand where your father’s hand had previously been. Your e/c eyes sought the wonder-filled different shades of brown eyes the couple had.

“You should get some sleep,” Athena spoke, staring at her hand resting on your bump. Her dark chocolate brown rising to find your gaze, “You won’t be getting a lot once she arrives.”

Bobby and Athena watched as you turned the corner to the spare room Athena’s parents used when they visited. For the time being, you’ve moved into the room, and the Grant-Nash house hoped you would stay. May had always wanted a sister, and Harry loved all the stories you told about Australia.

“You know, at some point, you’ll have to talk to her.”

“I just was-’

“-without anyone else being the buffer. Bobby, both your lives is evidence enough that some things are too trivial to stress over.” Athena pinned her stern gaze on her husband. The same husband is actively trying to avoid her penetrating gaze.

“What I did-’

“Is in the past, Bobby. You have a second chance with that wonderful woman in that bedroom and our grandchild. Now, are you sure that having the party at the firehouse is okay?”

A hand supported the base of your back where an ache tended to stay for most of the day. That ache wasn’t the worst symptom of your pregnancy. You had heartburn constantly that tied with unfortunate constipation that had thankfully lessened. Your purse always had a cardigan for the hot flashes as well.

“Perfect! May has my car, and Bobby needed that.” Athena beamed from the open bay of the 118. One of the firefighters, Eddie, if you recalled, snagged your purse and the specific ingredient for a recipe.

“You could have borrowed Bobby’s-”

“His vehicle is in the shop Buck.” Athena interrupted the only member of the 118 you had let to officially meet.

Now there were two suspects of the sudden shortness of breath you started experiencing. It could be Poppy in the limited space in your body or the handsome firefighter. Buck had to be hands down none of the most attractive men you’d ever encountered. His dark blonde hair had minimal height, but the soft waves made your fingers itch to feel it. His ocean blue eyes crinkled at the corners with mirth.

“Ah, so you’re flesh and blood of Cap?” Buck questioned from in front of you. His blue eyes centred solely on you, with half a mind thanking himself that he could navigate the station blindfolded in the dark.

“For the last twenty-seven years, I have been.” You retorted, stopping at the edge of the stairs to the apparatus. Your keen sense of smell catching one of your favourite meals your father had dug up from the recipes he hadn’t used in years.

A zing of electricity trailed off your arm when a calloused palm met yours. Your e/c eyes followed the path of tan skin until it reached the shirt sleeve of Buck’s t-shirt. The shirt emblazoned on the chest with the department’s insignia. The man in the casual uniform guided you safely up the stairs with his hand on your back.

The pressure of Buck’s hand on your aching back muscle nearly brought what would be an embarrassing moan from your lips. Thankfully a gasp of surprise fell out instead at the banner hanging with other decorations.

“What?” You choked, cupping your hands to your face. Pure unadulterated shock and affection flooded every inch of you.

The entire 118 squad intermixed with their loved ones surrounded the open area with grins. On a table behind everyone was many wrapped gifts. But the cake was the most impressive.

A large rectangular cake in the realistic shape of a fire engine parked in front of a fire hydrant with a fondant hose going to the truck. On top of the fire truck was the turnout boots next to the matching helmet, the 118 proudly on it. You adored the turnout coat draping off the top to hang off the side.

“If you look at the helmet, it says Poppy.” Buck enthused, guiding you even closer to catch the immaculate cake, “It has to be the best cake we’ve gotten from them.”

“Hey, my rebar head cake was phenomenal!” Chimney called with a belying grin on his face. His hand encased by a brunette woman about his height with her heels on.

“It’s a long story.” Buck offered as soon as you gave him a weird questioning look, “Let me introduce you to everyone!”

For the next five minutes, you spend it by meeting the family of 118, including Eddie’s completely adorable son. Christopher was happy to sit next to you as soon as Harry had found you. Slowly the others came closer to hear the stories.

“What’re the most common injuries on the beach?” Denny, Hen and Karen’s ten-year-old son questioned.

“Bluebottle Jellyfish stings. On one day, we had hundreds of people come to the tower for stings, and the treatment for the minor ones is stingose spray and ice.”

“My question is how a girl from Minnesota is a lifeguard in Australia. Especially on Sydney’s most dangerous beach.” Chimney inserted, waving his bottle of pop at you, his eyes kept moving towards the wine Maddie brought.

Unfortunately, the 118 wouldn’t be celebrating with the wine until their shifts ended in a few short hours. It was a damn miracle they hadn’t been called out yet.

“This former Minnesotan spent summers at my best friend’s parents’ place in Cali as a lifeguard. Also, Bondi is not the most dangerous beach in Sydney. That’s Tamarama.” You pointed towards the man who raised his hands in surrender.

“Have you ever seen a dead body?” Harry asked, bringing a sobering silence in the question’s wake.

Your body language changed as soon as he asked, “Unfortunately, I’ve seen death as a paramedic and as a lifeguard.”

“You’re a paramedic? I thought you were just a lifeguard?” Buck asked, interested in the new information. Buck could feel his Captain’s eyes on the back of his head; he was sure Bobby could smell the attraction on Buck.

“Casual lifeguard. Called when needed as a backup.” You turned your e/c eyes towards the arguably youngest member of the 118.

“How many dead-”

“Harry.” Athena warned her son from continuing a topic that killed the ease and happiness you’d shown previously, “Why don’t we stop talking about-”

“Too many, Harry.” You interrupted your stepmom with a gentle smile towards the woman, “It’s not just drowning that claims lives but also the cliffs surrounding the beaches. Lifeguards patrol more than the beaches and water. Lifeguards respond to medical emergencies, mostly spinal until the paramedics arrive.”

“Oh-”

“I had a fellow lifeguard leave the job because of the suicides we deal with.”

“...who wants cake?” Karen used the quiet interlude of the much too serious topic for a group of kids barely in the double digits of ages. All referenced children followed Hen’s life to the beautiful baked creation.

“Sorry for getting dark there.”

“We all know the dark side of the jobs we chose to do. You sound like you miss Australia. Are you going to return there?” Eddie questioned with one eye pinned on his son, consuming more sugar than he wished.

Eddie’s question did raise self-doubt, but you knew that ultimately living in Australia was no longer a viable option. 

“There’s nothing there for me.”

Eddie, Buck and your father understood that mentality to a ‘t’ with family complications keeping them away. Your father for obvious reasons, whereas Eddie and Buck each had a living family with opinions only they saw right.

“You’re always welcome here. Especially when you bring that little cutie to the firehouse.” Maddie cooed towards your baby bump. The 911 dispatcher had asked many questions about your pregnancy.

 Maddie was the type of person who could make a stranger feel like they had known for their entire lives.

“Here.”

A plate of the cake was thrust in front of your face courtesy of Maddie’s brother Buck. It is quite literally the perfect size you could ask for. In his other hand, he had a new bottle of water waiting for you to grab.

“Thank you, Buck.” Your shock must have shown in your voice when his cheeks flushed.

“This whole party is a celebration for you, so you shouldn’t have to get up...unless you want to!” Buck rushed to respond, getting more flustered with the amused look of his older sister on him, “You’re already doing something absolutely amazing, so you should get to rela-”

“Buck!” You laughed, ending the older man’s rambling thoughts. The entire party attendees had started watching Buck’s failed smooth attempt.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Buck mutely nodded in response, “No prob-”

The bell was the one to interrupt him instead. The on-duty firefighters rushed down from the upper levels to the lockers. The swift suiting up impressed you as it was like you blinked, and the bay was empty.

“Should be the last call before they get off shift.” Maddie, still occupied with the cake she was eating, “That wine looks so good!”

Your attention snapped from the vacant spots the 118 vehicles parked to the woman ploughing down on the cake. Sure it was good, but not that good. Maybe you could tell as a pregnant woman, or perhaps you just caught some of the symptoms you felt.

“How far along are you?”

Maddie froze, “What are you talk-”

“You’re pregnant, right?”

“Don’t tell anyone. Chim and I found out recently, but we want to wait on telling people. Once the first trimester is over, everyone can know.” Maddie pleaded with two hands cupped under her chin in a prayer position. The pretty brunette using the puppy dog eyes on the new friend she’d made.

“You should tell Buck-”

“We will once we enter the safe zone. So tell me about your baby’s father.” Maddie swiftly changed the subject, unaware of the ache developing in your midsection.

“Lucas Gowan.” You mussed, recalling the freckled half Australian half Scots man with the thick red locks.

“Ooh, is he still in Australia?”

“Technically, he is. I met him at the grocery store near the university campus. I’d transferred to escape my grief. It was purely an attraction at first sight before developing into love at first sight. We convocated and moved into a cosy little place. We’d only just found out about the baby when Lucas passed away.”

As you told Maddie, your hand had moved to cradle the only remaining piece of Lucas. 

“His death was unexpected and sudden. He’d taken a run the morning of our scan to find out baby Gowan’s gender. He fell off the side of the cliff. I was told he died instantly. The investigator believes his shoelace untied, and he stepped on it. Fell right off the side.”

“I’m so sorry.” Maddie breathed, leaning closer to hold your hands in her own, “He’d be so proud of you. For returning to the states. Do you keep in contact with his family?”

“He was an only child. Parents died in a car accident when he was ten years old. He was in foster care until he aged out of the system. Poppy is named after his mom.”

Maddie instinctively knew talking about Lucas was, “You know you get along pretty well with Buck... I’ve never seen him so flustered.”

“Maddie, I can tell you are a very intelligent woman, but you’re wrong here. Why would a guy like Buck be interested in a pregnant woman with a reconciling relationship with her father and his Captain while grieving her baby’s dad?”

Maddie tilted her head to the side, “Because I know my brother. He’s only ever had that look when I first moved to LA. Back when Abby was still important to him.”

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree.”

Maddie’s mouth opened to speak, but you were saved by the bell when Athena called you over for pictures. Then her attempts got thwarted once more when the 118 returned to the house perfectly synced to the end of shift.

“Driving here was the last time until the baby’s here. You’ve got precious cargo-”

“I’m seven months pregnant; I can still drive. There’s no law saying I can’t-”

Never argue with Athena Grant-Nash, “It may not be illegal, but I won’t endanger my daughter or my granddaughter.”

“I have to get to my OB/GYN appointment tomorrow. You and Dad each have a long shift during my scheduled appointment. Harry is both too young to drive and in school. May has a shift at dispatch. There’s literally no one available to take me.”

Bobby watched as two of the most important women in his life argued over something as trivial as driving. Harry shook at listening to someone fighting against his mother; she could be terrifying.

“I can take her.”

Everyone in the fir house turned to the voice who’d offered suddenly and found the sheepish form of a tall firefighter. Eddie’s eyebrows raised at his best friend.

“I don’t work tomorrow. I’ve got no plans. Albert’s got some date with a girl at her place.”

“I couldn’t put you out.”

“You need a ride, and I’ll be bored, so why not take my new friend to her baby doctor.”

“Baby doctor?” Hen parroted to her wife in astonishment towards her coworker and close friend. Both the women found the blatant flirting from Buck to the soon to be mother.

“She’ll take you up on the offer. She’s staying in our guest room. Come early for breakfast before you go. We’ll be having waffles.”

Buck found any excuse to visit the Grant-Nash home with the motive to hang out with you ever since the baby shower. From delivering baked goods from your favourite bakery to insisting on driving you to appointments. Didn’t matter if Athena or Bobby could take you; Buck was adamant he drove you.

The friendship was easy going and very natural, like a ball glove still moulded perfectly to your hand. The hangouts in your home evolved to weekly visits to restaurants with guidelines to the current event happening worldwide. 

Ultimately it even led to a test date.

“You look breathtaking.” Buck breathlessly informed you once he’d gently pushed your chair closer to the table.

“Thank you.” You kindly responded despite thinking the complete opposite to the charming man sitting across from you.

Athena and May had helped you get ready for the date with calming words on how going on a date so far into the pregnancy was okay. Then, your father had tentatively inserted himself with sage advice on re-entering the dating scene.

“I thought we could grab some ice cream after,” Buck spoke up as soon as the waiter had taken your drink order. Buck had decided to refrain from alcohol and went with glasses of lemonade and water.

“You shouldn’t say that. I’ll just want ice cream.” You snickered, caressing the taut belly you’d grown to love. In fact, the firm push of a heel announced Poppy’s agreement with ice cream as dessert.

“How is Poppy?”

“The doc says she’s right on track. Healthy all around and in the position, she’s supposed to be at this stage.” Buck adored the affectionate smile that always appeared when the topic of your pregnancy was brought up.

“That’s amazing! Bobby gushes about you and Poppy. The fridge has an entire door dedicated to sonograms of Poppy. Even a few from that maternity shoot Hen and Maddie surprised you with.”

A few weeks had passed since the baby shower the 118 had surprised you with. Maddie had announced her pregnancy to the joy of the chosen family she had. Bobby had put together a crib he had painted. Michael, Athena’s ex-husband, had started making plans for adding on to the house for a room for the baby.

Despite informing the architect, you planned on moving out when you had saved enough, he’d made a sound argument. Athena would want a place for the baby to stay when you visited, or the woman demanded to babysit.

Now you found yourself in a National forest not far from Los Angeles, posing in front of nature. A surprise photoshoot Hen and Karen had organized with Karen’s brother Trey. Maddie and Athena had been the ones who drove you.

“Hold the teddy bear on your bump,” Trey informed you from behind his professional and intimidating camera. The photographer praised you in the rapid movement to listen to his offer.

“Hey! Maddie! You should take a few photos. I need a pee break.” You didn’t wait for Maddie to respond in your rush to the somewhat rustic bathroom hut.

By the time you returned, Maddie was taking a couple pictures. Then you took some with Athena to have on the nursery walls and for Bobby to have a photo for his desk.

“Now one with all three of you.”

Present

“So a daredevil.” You stated unsurprised that the firefighter had a history of recklessness. You don’t go into firefighting without a taste for danger.

“The bruises and blood fit better than the awful bleached hair during my time in Peru.” Buck laughed, recalling the questionable choice in his fashion pre-firefighting. Sometimes he missed the people he encountered in his period of self-discovery.

“You didn’t wear puka sh-”

“I did. Bleached hair, puka shells and Hawaiian shirts were my staples during my bartending years. I fit in with the aesthetic of the bar I tended.”

“Buck!” You nearly gasped at his raw honesty. Buck didn’t hold back any answers to your questions, but you each strayed from the topic of family.

Talking about the tragic family history wasn’t a good idea on the first time regardless of the time you’d known each other.

“You’re telling me-” Buck halted as soon as he caught the flash of discomfort flicker over your beautiful features, “Are you okay?”

“She shifted. Been sitting on my blad-” You cut yourself off with a hiss of pain. Buck’s eyes widened at the pain taking over your features, “Oh, that hurt.”

Buck went straight into work mode, “Have you been in pain for long?”

“No. A few cramps here and there today, but my doctor said it was nothing to worry about.” You informed the experienced first responder resting level to your knees.

Buck didn’t want to say it, but he was sure that you’d gone into early labour. There was no indication your water had broken, but he kept over the last hour together. Every once in a while, you shifted or pressed a hand to your bump.

“Has your water broken?”

You shook your head, “No, but...oh... that’s not a cramp.”

With that statement out, you clenched your fingers tight on the edge of the table as pain rippled in your belly. A contraction that stole your breath momentarily. In your contraction, Buck had dialled 911. Buck recalled that sometimes a woman’s water doesn't break until right before the birth.

“We’re not getting that ice cream, are we?” You snorted upon being lifted onto the gurney. How fortunate or unfortunate you were to have the 118 right there.

Hen had taken a position at your feet to check on your lower body while Chimney took your vital signs. You honestly didn’t like the look Hen and Chimney shared with Buck.

“What is it?”

“We’re gonna need to deliver here.” Hen sighed, giving you the facts that terrified you. When you envisioned having the baby, it was in a medical centre. Not in a restaurant.

“My office is large and away from the crowd if you want. I can show you the way.” Sophie, the restaurant manager, offered already starting to lead the way. Sophie would never know how thankful you felt for being able to have privacy.

“Okay, Y/N, is it okay if I check how dilated you -.” Hen breathed with her hand, gently disappearing until the thin blanket Chimney procured from the stocked ambulance, “Y/N when I saw I want you to do that.”

Hen didn’t need to check your dilation when she could see the baby’s head already.

“I’m right here.” Buck cooed in your ear. He had held your hand as his coworkers did their jobs around you.

“This isn’t the way I envisioned you seeing my pu-”

“Push.” Hen urged, cutting off your almost vulgar language, but it eased the tension in the small restaurant office. You couldn’t even see Buck’s flustered reaction as you bore down with the contraction, “Good! Take a breath.”

“You’re a strong woman. It never ceases to amaze me the strength women have.” Buck spoke, keeping your e/c eyes on his blue ones. His hand raised to push a strand of your sweaty hair off your temple.

“Once more push!” Hen called out just in time with the last contraction. The feeling of the pressure between your legs popping was moan inducing.

Poppy was silent. Your entire body froze, yearning for the sweet sound of crying instead of the eerie silence. The world stood still as Chimney worked on your baby girl.

“Pulse is strong,” Chimney announced, keeping his attention on the task of clearing Poppy’s throat and nose. And that sweet sound of crying commenced, “Congratulations Y/N, you have a beautiful baby girl. Let’s get you to the hospital.”

Your father beat the ambulance to the nearest ER in pure anticipation at meeting his granddaughter Poppy Nash Gowan. He barely noticed as Buck stuck to your side like glue. Bobby waited outside the door as you got checked over in the room.

“Quite the first date.” You mused towards Buck, who hovered in awe over the life form you had carried for nine months. You’d been pregnant for three quarters of an entire year to his fascination. 

“All my meaningful relationships started with a medical emergency.” Buck finally looked up at you. He’d kept Poppy company in the bassinet while you delivered the afterbirth upon entering the hospital.

“Seriously?”

“Had a tracheostomy on Valentine’s Day with Abby, an earthquake with Ali and a newscaster in a crashed helicopter.” Buck listed off. He hadn’t even noticed scooping the newborn into his arms until he’d sat in the chair by your bed, “Why not add a sudden labour and delivery.”

“He would have liked you.”

The sentence came out of absolutely nowhere. Almost like something had ripped it out of your vocal cords. At the look of confusion, you elaborated.

“Lucas. He would have liked you. I think if it is possible, he might have pushed me into meeting you. I’ll still need to take it slow, but I’d like to give this a shot.”

That was all Buck needed to lean in closer to kiss you—the first of many kisses.

Some might disagree on how quick your relationship with Buck developed, but they didn’t know yours at all. It was natural with the firefighter who stepped into the role of father figure for a growing Poppy. By the time Poppy was one, you’d moved into a house not far from your father’s place with Buck. By the time Poppy was three, a pretty ring had sat on your finger. By five, the young girl had a baby brother. 

“Your parents spoil Poppy.”

“You say that like you didn’t crawl into her crib during her afternoon naps.” You deadpanned towards your husband. Buck had the nerve to sheepishly grin, “You give in each time she says ‘pwetty pwease’ for a cookie.”

“It’s a crime to make her sad!” Buck defended himself, but a grin of amusement threatened his act, “Besides, you crack each time too!”

“Mhm. Just wait until Theo can talk.” You pressed a kiss to the sleeping infant strapped into the baby carrier. Theodore Robert Buckley could fall asleep in a thunderstorm if he was in Buck’s arms.

“Oh! Maddie wants to have Poppy over for a play date. Madster’s been begging for her cousin to have a sleepover.”

Maddie and Chimney’s daughter was only a few months younger than your daughter, but the two were thick as thieves. Buck had referred to the Han daughter as Madster with how similar her mannerisms were to her mother.

“Think they’d take the rascal?”

“Is this code for you wanting to have another?” Buck questioned with a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes. The same blue Theo had inherited along with a birthmark like Buck’s on his bicep.

“I-” You choked, blinking furiously, “Evan, I pushed Theo out of my body barely three months ago!”

Buck inconspicuously winked in response with the sudden scream of excitement coming from Poppy. The rambunctious five-year-old ploughed into Buck’s legs full force. Falling into the practised ease, you’d unstrapped Theo from Buck’s chest and promptly had his tiny body stolen into his grandpa’s arms.

“There’s my boy.” Bobby cooed to the sleep drunk tiny infant. The little baby is crowded by his Gram Athena and Aunt May, “Gonna have to get you a Minnesota Wilds jersey.”

“Hell no. That boy is LA born and bred. He’ll be wearing a Kings jersey like the civilized.” Michael announced with the sudden arrival of Theo and Poppy’s Uncle Harry.

“Mommy? When are we going to Stralia?” Poppy inquired from right beside your leg. Her tiny handheld is the giant one of her dad.

“In a few weeks. Are you excited to see the mommy’s old friends again?”

“Hm. Can we see Dada?”

Buck may be Poppy’s father, but he’d never let Poppy go without knowing she had two fathers in all. Her first one waiting to meet here decades from the time she was born and solely referenced Lucas as Dada. Buck was grateful for the man who brought Poppy into existence; the little green-eyed tot Buck could never regret. Unlike Buck’s parents keeping his older brother’s existence a secret, the firefighter refused to follow in their footsteps. He’d continue to shower the late Lucas in gratitude and respect. He refused to make the same mistakes as Phillip and Margaret Buckley.

“Of course. C’mon Poppy, time to say goodbye.” Buck guided the little girl to the extended family showering her little brother with love. The little girl was quickly swung into Bobby’s arms, and Athena cooing at your infant son.

Changes. The six-letter word doesn’t have to be terrifying. It can be breathtaking, memorable and beautiful to experience. 

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[jade-parcels]

idk if you did this already, if you did sorry for asking. but lately my period cramps have been killing me! could you do some comfort headcanons for period – cramps, sensitivity, chest pain, headaches, feeling more insecure than usual – involving childe, diluc and maybe zhongli (and, well, anyone else if you feel like it). it can be either in a modern au or in genshin universe. anything is ok. thank you so much!

Helping you on your period

With Diluc, Zhongli, Childe and Baizhu

I think the universe matched us up! In sync cycles gang!!

—————————

Diluc:

Thank the Pyro Archon!!

Diluc already has a high body temp but when he activates his vision and holds it against your stomach? Say bye to those cramps

Since it’s just the two of you, he’s more than happy to cuddle with you and read to you while holding you close against his chest

Anything you want, just name it. You want a hot bath? You want something sweet? You want pain killers? His staff is on it!

It hurts him to see you in pain like this cause besides letting you use his vision and giving you pain killers there really isn’t anything he can do :( so he’ll apologize a lot to you even though it isn’t his fault

If it starts to get really bad he’ll take you to the cathedral! I mean…Idk what they could do for you but he’s trying his best

Whatever commission work you had planned before your period started is finished rather quick. When he goes to check on the tavern, he’ll complete your commissions for you and bring the mora back for you! He knows how hard it can be to get good paying commissions nowadays so he wouldn’t want you to miss out

If he sees that you’re feeling down, he’ll put more effort into complimenting you and being more affectionate than usual :)

Zhongli:

Ah yes, he is experienced in this area

He’s been around for so long, he knows all kinds of tips and tricks to help make symptoms not as severe

However his remedies are notorious for taking forever to make. His sobering tea takes 6 hours to brew…and his pain killer tea takes 9. By the time he finishes making all of his herbal concoctions, your period will be over lmao

Zhongli will put a lot of effort in to make sure you’re comfortable. He’ll get you as many pillows or blankets as you need, open the window for fresh air, close the drapes if it’s too bright, read to you if you’re bored. He knows you’re miserable so he’ll do his best to entertain you and keep you as comfortable as one can be in this condition

He’ll offer to do yoga with you if you’re up for it. Certain poses can alleviate pressure in the pelvic area so he’ll do it with you! (Squats always help me out too when it gets really bad!! Doing squats, drinking water and applying heat never fails! But everyone’s different!)

When you sleep, he’ll play with your hair and rub your back :) he loves how peaceful you look while finally getting some rest :)

Childe:

He’s a little clueless but he’s got the spirit!

See, when he received his education from the fatui they didn’t really give him a course on female anatomy so…he is aware of periods and what they are but he has no idea how severe symptoms can be

So when you’re in so much pain that you can’t get out of bed?? He’s super worried about you, he’s about to go get a doctor to come here to see you

It’s kinda funny to actually go in depth and explain how bad symptoms can be, how much you bleed, how awful cramps are cause he just…doesn’t know. Most men don’t actually know! He’ll genuinely feel bad for you and by explaining it all to him, he’ll learn and become a very reliable helper :)

“You should probably take a bath, right? I’ll go warm up some water” “Stay with me…just for a few more minutes” “Okay but then we’re gonna take a bath together. I’ll make the water extra hot too, that’ll help with cramps right?” “Mhm”

He’ll try to get you up and moving when you allow it so you don’t feel stiff from sitting in the same position for too long

Ajax is very affectionate already and will become even more affectionate if he sees that your self esteem is low. He’ll make sure to reassure you that you’re still so beautiful to him :’)

He’d think you’re pretty no matter what. You could have greasy hair, hormonal breakouts and eye bags from being tired and he’d still look at you like ‘wow…’ :’)

Baizhu:

As a medical professional, he’ll insist on being at your side when you show any indication of being in pain

He’ll make you some herbal pain relievers, they’ll taste super bitter and make your tongue numb for a minute but they’ll kick in pretty quick!!

Baizhu cant afford to take full days off but he’ll take half days in order to make sure you eat breakfast and lunch, drink water and rest.

You help him out when his own illness kicks in so he has no problem helping you out :) he’s content to rub your shoulders and coach you into sitting/laying positions that may be more comfortable

If you’re more cranky or sad than usual he’ll make you something warm and cuddle with you :) when you don’t feel well, you get to see his excellent bedside manner in action! Though he is far more affectionate with you than he is with his other patients lmao

If you’re someone who worries about their symptoms and fears they have suddenly developed a rare disease over night (looking up symptoms on the Internet is a terrible habit :’) ) He’ll be there to assure you that nothing is seriously wrong

“Honey, my side has been hurting a lot” “I know dear, I’ve already told you you don’t have appendicitis” “Maybe my liver is gonna rupture!!!” “That’s higher up, I’d be able to tell due to swelling and a fever. You don’t have either of those” “But what about that pain in my neck? What if it’s a tumor Baizhuuuuu!” “Darling, I think you just need to go to sleep” pffttt