#Do note that this probably won't get much farther since I don't think I have any plans for story arcs or something

[asktheahogesandblondes]

Ah great verry lovely TIME FOR UNPINING!!!

hajime...

Hajime

Hey hajime~

I can read your thoughts hajime

So you wanna sell your soul for a talent potato chips? And you didn't tell your wife? For shame....

I guess it's not my right to do so keep your secrets if you like, so I'll just say emotional honesty is the pillerstone of any great relationship

Hajime:(You think I don't know!? I know it's crazy and I should be honest with her...it's just...I want to have talent, I want to be something other than nobody...Natsumi deserves nothing but the best, and once it's done, I WILL be)

Hajime:(Besides, the only reason I'm even allowed in the reserve course in the first place is because of that, I can't pay the tuition fee by myself...it's not even like I didn't plan of telling them, it's just...it never really came up and I don't know how to break it into them, so it just went on and...now we're here. I'll figure something out, I mean if I have every talent, I'll probably will be able to...)

Hajime:(Wait...did you just call her my wife!?)

Natsumi:Hey, are you ok?

Hajime:Yes wifey.

Natsumi:Huh!?

Hajime:Forget I said anything!

*M/A Counter:6*

[relevant-wikipedia-articles]

merry christmas!!!!!

This may seem weird, but I do this all of the time and I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I'm not sure if this is your first time or not, so I'm going to explain your situation just in case, as well as how I tend to go about dealing with it

It's a fairly uncommon issue, so hopefully others who see this post will learn how to identify when this happens and how to support people in this situation while they work through it

Anyways, there's no easy way to put this so I'm just going to say it outright: you've accidentally time travelled. I recommend taking at least a few seconds to sit with that thought

Now, just trust me on this, you'll want to go back to your original time. You may think it'll be fun to be in the past/future, but time is no joke. It takes A Lot of energy to stay outside of your time, and there's so many other downsides to not being in the right time that you'll just want to trust me when I tell you that you'll want to go back to your own time. You'll see what I mean as you try to sort all of this out

With that out of the way, you're probably thinking something along the lines of "how on earth did I time travel at all, let alone without even realising it‽", and, unfortunately, there's no simple answer to that

Every so often, there'll be something that you do that makes you travel through time. It can be either forwards or backwards, but it'll always be in the same direction each "season". The amount that you travel can vary though. For me, it's usually anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of days. To get back to your own time, you're going to have to identify this action, and, whenever you do it, simply do it again but swap when you inhale and exhale. It sounds silly, but it's the best way I've found to fix it. Idk why it works, but if there's a better way to go about fixing this then I don't know about it

Actually fixing it is the easy part. The hard part is figuring out what you're doing that causes you to time travel, since it can pretty much be anything. I do this by keeping a journal of what I do each day, as well as a list of days that I notice I've travelled farther away from my own time. Then I'll compare the two every so often and work my way towards narrowing down the exact action. This can sometimes take a Very Long Time, so the best advice I can give you is to just take life one day at a time

Now, you'll notice I didn't tell you *how* to tell when you've gotten farther from your own time, and that's because it's yet another tricky thing to pin down. Usually, I'll be able to tell from inconsistencies between my memory and my journal. Maybe I don't remember answering this ask, but I wrote in my journal that I did. Maybe Alice is complaining I never texted her back, even though I literally have screenshots of me texting her back in my journal (said screenshots have since irrecoverably corrupted). *Maybe* my phone's battery percentage doesn't line up with how quickly my phone charges and the time my journal says I plugged in my phone

Yeah. Like I said, this is the hardest part. Once you get out of "action id hell" though, getting back to your own time is a fairly straightforward process (though you will feel like an idiot while doing it): you just gotta alternate doing that action, followed by doing that action with the inhaling and exhaling swapped. I think doing the action triggers the time shift or whatever, and then doing it again with the breaths swapped reverses the direction, but, again, I have No Clue how or why this works

Some other things to note:

While you're going back to your own time, don't worry about the people from the time you're leaving. There's an uncountably infinite number of yous all going through the same process right now, and the you from the time you're leaving will replace you when it's all over

You probably won't get the action right on your first try. In fact, it'll probably take a few attempts to get it right. Just remember to be patient and take things one day at a time

Don't worry too much about being out of the loop when you get back to your own time. In a few days, the memories from the you that made it to your time will come back to you and it'll be like it never happened

Now, if this has never happened to you, and you want to know how you can help those going through this, my biggest piece of advice is to just be patient. You can offer your own theories as to what the action they're looking for is, but be respectful if they aren't comfortable talking about it. For some people, it can be a very personal thing

One thing you can do is offer to help them with everyday tasks. Like I said, being outside of your own time takes A Lot of extra energy, so taking some of their work upon yourself is a great way to help them through this. Don't overwork yourself though. They'll find consistency much more comforting than sudden bursts of help (also, overworking yourself is generally a bad idea)

Above all though, just be patient. It's going to take a while for them to sort this out, and I'm sure they're just as annoyed at it all as you are

[greenerteacups]

Hey GT, glad to see you're back! I'm still halfway thru Lionheart (just read the world cup chapter, what a delight) and your notes got me wondering.

I'm sure you've probably answered this before but how do you manage to make the world feel so rich? I'm not that into the fandom so I don't know If there are some things fanon agreed upon or if it is your own musings about the magic world. Like Draco explaining to Hermione about portkeys or how many languages Krum speaks.

How do you decide what's important enough to get a mention? Where do you go when you need answers and Canon is not enough to provide it?

Thanks for the kind words, and for the question! It's a matter of personal taste, like anything. Some writers prefer an athletic, streamlined plot, with only as much worldbuilding as you absolutely need (how does Panem run a command economy of 4.5 million people primarily on fossil fuels when its coal district has a population of less than 10,000? fuck off! who cares! they're Y/A dystopias about a TV show where teens beat each other to death!). Some writers, on the other hand, won't bother to start the story until they know the pH of the soil in every region of the world they're writing about. I'm somewhere on the second half of the scale, in that I'll give details that aren't strictly necessary to the plot, just because I like to feel like I'm writing about a world where real, extraneous things can happen. Some details are foreshadowing; some details are Special Mouseketools that will Help Us Later; and sometimes, you just get to know a cool fact about portkeys.

I guess part of the fun of building out a world is getting to think about Everything, which is what my brain normally does. I have a pretty broad body of literature as a starting gate, so there's plenty of room to play. E.g., when I started writing Krum, I thought about how he's not super fluent in English in canon, and that naturally made me ask why, because he clearly has taken English, so either he only started lessons recently or it hasn't been a priority for him; and then I went "wait, what's his first language? Bulgarian, right? But Durmstrang isn't — hang on—" and then I pulled up an actual map of Europe, which led me to realize that he wouldn't likely be speaking his first language at Durmstrang, which means he already had to become bilingual just to start his wizarding education, and that explains part of why he doesn't have a ton of time/effort to spare for a third language, plus he'd probably have a translator available whenever he traveled with a team because he's a B.F.D. — etc., etc. And then you keep thinking about that until you remember that you're supposed to be writing a fic, and you scramble to get back to doing that. Only now, you have worldbuilding! Congrats.

To try for an even halfway useful answer to your question: worldbuilding becomes most important when it creates limitations, because limitations define your characters and give them chances to develop/reveal themselves. So the details of portkeys become important because they explain the limitations of magical travel, which is a big nebulous ??? in the original series, since the introduction of teleportation via Apparating means that all other forms of transportation become inefficient by comparison. It also means the limitations introduced by travel — that is, not all characters can be in all places at once — also go away, because anyone can be anywhere immediately. From a narrative perspective, this sucks massive horse ass. Hence: I dumped a shit ton of limitations on Apparation (i.e., (1) it requires a ton of energy, (2) it's really fucking hard, (3) it's really fucking dangerous, (4) it's more of both the farther away you're going, (5) it's more of both the more people you take with you, (6) you can't Apparate without a clear destination in mind which means (7) you need to have been there already, and so (8) some people prefer not to do it). Hence, I also put limitations on portkeys (i.e., they have to be set up well in advance, you need to identify out both destinations precisely beforehand, and the calculations are difficult to do). Those limitations, and the Watsonian explanations you create for them, are your worldbuilding. They're what make the world feel real, because they give it grit and character. They give you a more complete sense of what you can and cannot do.

The rest of it is taste and preference, really; it's what interests you, and what parts of the world you want to explore. That's going to be unique to every author, and that's the beauty of worldbuilding — it reflects the parts of the world that you like to think about.

[xanasaurusrex]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ zeus cabin headcanons ࿐ྂ

a/n: these are my headcanons for the children of zeus! i love thinking about what traits kids of certain gods and goddesses would have, and since zeus is the king of the gods, i thought it would only be fitting to start with zeus! these are less about like powers and stuff like that and more just about how they would be as people!

zeus kids can get kinda crazy

they're always the life of the party, and yet somehow they also shut down the party?

they're just good at knowing when things are getting too out of hand

speaking of knowing things

it's almost as if they have a sixth sense in knowing things, just like general things

oh this person liked this other person

the zeus kids already knew

you cheated on your math test?

yeah, they had a feeling

that kinda stuff

zeus kids also all weirdly have this universal little tic where when they're really bored, they'll rub their hands against something that can create static, and then play with the static in their hands

they can do the thing where they kind of roll it from one finger to another, and then back again

they can also utilize this to shock people, but only ever so slightly

technically they could summon a whole storm and electrocute someone, but very rarely do they have that urge

another thing to mention:

zeus children can hold a grudge

they're masters at being mad at someone for something they did days, weeks, months, or even years in the past that likely they forgot they did

but zeus kids didn't

they never forget

honestly even a bad first impression can really affect your relationship with a child of zeus, because they don't forget things easily

their minds are steel traps

children of zeus are also natural born leaders

this can cause quite the scene when there are multiple zeus kids up for a leadership position because they all fall into a leader role just naturally

a lot of people appreciate this because they're saved from having to lead themselves

but others find this incredibly annoying, and think that zeus kids are all very arrogant and full of themselves

there are some that are like that, thinking they're better because their dad is zeus

but that kind of reaction to being a child of zeus is pretty rare

most of the time it brings them great annoyance because monsters can smell them from farther away, and it makes them much more eligible for dangerous quests, which sometimes is a good thing, but when the mortality rate for a quest that dangerous is usually 0, it can be a little daunting

probably the best trait that children of zeus possess is their loyalty

i understand that this probably doesn't make much sense, considering the fact that zeus was never really known for being very loyal to pretty much anyone in his life

but zeus kids are

this is observed the best during battle, when they would do anything and everything for the people fighting alongside them

they're loyal friends and lovers, too

which, again, doesn't make a lot of sense when looking at who their dad is

but a lot of their lives have been negatively affected by him being disloyal, so a lot of them have a tendency to make sure they're loyal so that they don't end up like him

as amazing as zeus thinks he is, a lot of his kids aren't his biggest fans

in conclusion, zeus kids are pretty cool

they definitely have their flaws

(such as having a tendency to flake last minute when it comes to making plans with other people)

but ultimately they're pretty good people

they're very skilled when it comes to battle, and they're good friends

basically just good people to surround yourself with

a/n: so i won't be doing author's notes at the end of everything, but i just wanted to thank you for reading my very first official post! i'm going to be doing headcanons for the other gods and goddesses, both major and minor, because i just find writing for that kinda stuff really fun! also i really love headcanons (totally not because they're easier to write than full fics, definitely not at all)

anyways, thanks for reading, and be on a lookout for more stuff in the future!

[o-uncle-newt]

Cabin Pressure Advent Day 27: Zurich Part 2

Okay, now that my face has loosened up from the grin it's been in for the last twenty minutes...

I think that it is important for me to say here that this is my favorite finale of anything ever (obviously in combination with Part 1). In any medium.* It's just so so perfect, emotionally resonant (which I don't need to devote SO much time to because as I noted JF did it perfectly here) and one of the funniest episodes JF ever wrote of anything.

It's also got some absolutely GENIUS plotting and impeccable attention to detail, including such tiny things as having Theresa establish in Part 1 that Martin has told her time and time again about the St Petersburg saga, and therefore she remembers enough about it to contribute when they're planning in Part 2 by pointing out that in St Petersburg Gordon would have been able to take anything small out of the aircraft. It's unnecessary- JF could have given the line to someone else- but the fact that he not only gave it to her but gave us enough information for it to make sense that she said it works so well. And then when there's "stop quickly" "that I can do," and Arthur screeches them to a halt, it's a perfect reminder from last episode about the brake pads, which is such subtle set up for Martin to suggest that they be given in lieu of payment. (Sure, if I were Bruce Fraser I'd be a BIT more suspicious that the guy who offered 14k only showed up with 12, but he's also the kind of guy who likes Arthur's Goofy painting so maybe it's just better all around not to trust his discernment.)

When I first listened to this episode exactly nine years ago, I was a couple of minutes late, and so it wasn't until months later that I first heard the amazing cold open with Tiffy. Which, by the way, is so so funny... I love it so much, it's just perfect as a recap-without-being-too-info-dumpy and as just a peek into Arthur's world. Which is fitting, because I really see this as Arthur's episode. There are very few episodes that feel that way- St Petersburg was KIND OF one, but it ended up being more about how the rest of them jump into action to protect him than him being able to do anything. But here... this is Arthur's moment! He's INCREDIBLY active in this episode, whether solving the ID problem or realizing that Gordon is trying to trick them. He doesn't usually get to be so it's really great

If I had to rank the others in terms of their relevance to the plot after Arthur, it would probably be Douglas, Carolyn, Martin. Douglas is definitely the key one, and I'd argue that without his key role, Martin would be basically irrelevant to the plot here- the episode tries to convince us that Martin might not take the job, but even once he has a real practical way to stay with MJN we kind of know he won't, and have known since Yverdon. But Douglas, as JF noted in Farewell Bear Facts, has to prove he's worthy of being captain and put himself on the line- and he has to be able to serve in a mentorly capacity for Arthur (where it's a bit more paternal, even) and Martin.

On that last note, I used to be a bit annoyed by Douglas telling Martin to take on his shtick, because I was like "Martin is fine just the way he is, imagine if he turns into DOUGLAS"- I still kind of think this way (though of course I'm sure it's more metaphorical than him pretending to be Douglas exactly) but relistening to the whole show, including some of my least favorites, reminds me that Martin could kind of use being someone else... who he used to be was really fucking annoying lol.

As far as Carolyn, I WILL add something about her journey here because JF doesn't mention it in his post. He talks about how her journey is to be more vulnerable to Herc, but I think it goes farther, in a way I've talked about here. The question she finally asks Herc- why does him saying he loves her mean something different now than it did to his previous exes- is her being vulnerable to HIM, but also an expression of an inability to be vulnerable that she'd shown to everyone, not just him. The whole time- til at least late S3, at least- she couldn't trust people, she felt like she needed to rule by fear, and it takes vulnerability for her to accept that eventually she's not the one in total control and people are doing things for her because they care about her and the company as something bigger than her and that it's not totally in her control. Maybe this episode it manifests itself in the question to Herc and being vulnerable to him... but it also manifests itself in her changing the name of the airline. It's OUR Jet Still.

A few smaller notes:

Martin, Douglas and Arthur all saying Yellow Car is my favorite thing ever

I use the phrase "a thousand strawberry lollies and the Princess of Liechtenstein" all the time and it's one of my favorite lines ever

The scene with Douglas-as-Gordon and Martin-as-Douglas is possibly the funniest exchange JF ever wrote (I feel like I say that kind of thing a lot)

And... "I hate flying into the sunset" is such a fantastic line to very-nearly-end on. It's a tie back to Limerick, but it's also an expression of how they literally are ending with a fairy tale ending, flying off into the sunset... which they'd all said wasn't possible in Zurich Part 1! Though Arthur was still right- it wasn't a totally fairytale ending, it was more like The Jungle Book. Martin's not there, he goes off with the girl to the human village. And so it's not a fairytale ending, where everything freezes at an unlikely ending point- it's BETTER. They're all in the best possible places for them, as characters, to continue, even if it's bittersweet, and it's amazing.

I do have to say- doing this every day has been such a joy. I may come back tomorrow to do a final thing but I'm not sure, but in the meantime, thank you for being here and I hope you enjoyed as much as I have!

*It used to be tied with the finale of Detectorists, and I still love the S3 finale, but they then fucked it up by doing that Christmas special last year which was honestly horrendous.

[classificationhell]

A little thought here. If reader has wings/feathers, and they're new to hell/heaven and don't know how to take care of them. And Adam or Lucifer(yeah i know that Valentino also has wings, but he doesn't have feathers so do not count) show reader how to preen them.

Like they notice that reader never does anything with their wings, and their feathers start looking dull and feel brittle. So, as a good caretakers that they are, they scold them for neglecting their wings, before showing them how to do it.

With Mourningstar i feel like he would do it right from the very start. Regular preening sessions.

Considering the ask, I'm adding another character here with Husk since he has feathered wings and would likely have to help Alastor's little in this situation.

Adam- is practically obsessed with looking his best as far as his wings go. He can get away with stubble or a bit of relaxed hygiene and general appearance upkeep since his mask and robes cover pretty much everything, but his wings are out there for anyone and everyone to see and they're almost a source of pride for him. After all, the first man has to have the most beautiful and pristine wings out of all the Winners, of course he isn't so vain that he would compare himself to say someone like Sera, buuuut he definitely spent more of his time ensuring that not a single feather was out of place.

So naturally his winged Litttle would need to follow his shining example. If they're Winners he's probably helping them from the get go if they struggle themselves because he can't be seen dead, or well, double dead, with anyone less than perfect and Winner Little goes wherever he goes, equal parts because of his trust issues and jealous/possessive nature. Will likely tease them at first when they struggle, and will scold them if they show absolutely no interest in the upkeep of their wings.

Now, Sinner Little would probably suffer for a bit. He's still very much pissed that he was saddled with a fucking Sinner of all people and hates that his Caregiver won't let him let you get exterminated by his girls. Plus, it's not like they're leaving the mansion so why the fuck should he care how they look? Only, the longer he's around them the more he does care, and eventually, maybe, he thinks they look pathetic enough, failing miserably to preen their undoubtedly itchy and uncomfortable wings that he takes pity upon them and takes mercy upon them and helps them out. Will likely insult their intelligence at first and say mean things along the lines of "you know the term filthy Sinner isn't meant to be literal right dipshit?" When he cares about them he might say sorry in varying ways and only ever apologizing sincerely when their asleep or farther into the future.

Lucifer, while not as clingy as Mourningstar, would likely still leap at the chance to help his Little. His scolding is mild at best if the Little shows no interest in preening themselves. He honestly would be secretly happy to be able to do this for them while also trying to help them do it on their own if that makes sense. Like he does want them to learn and grow as any Caregiver or parent would, but also if they never do in this aspect he is more than happy to continue doing these Daddy/ Duckling bonding sessions with them.

Mourningstar, however is actively infantilizing the everloving hell out of them as always. Preening was a regular part of their schedule from day one, if they attempt to learn to do it themselves he will merely chuckle and remind them with a soft smile that it's Daddy's job to take care of his babygirl and that he very much loves getting to do this for them, and they wouldnt want to make him feel sad and unwanted would they? As an added note, True Daughter would definitely use their wings as evidence they were related even if they looked nothing alike.

Husk, while not a Caregiver himself, I could see helping out Alastor's Little in the event they had wings and were unable to care for them properly. Honestly, if he noticed them struggling with preening or their wings were bothering them I could see him helping them learn on his own without Alastor using his soul contract to force him to. He's a surly alcoholic, but I imagine he has a soft spot for Littles and Pets especially.

However, Alastor would definitely enlist the cat's help the moment the Little's wings became unkempt enough to notice and he would likely give them a good scolding for letting it get this bad without telling him with a warning that next time they won't get away with a simple verbal lashing.

[away-ward]

Let’s Talk About Thunder Bay

So, again, mostly doing this for writing reference (before you ask, no I don’t have anything in the works. Very sorry.), but also because every once in a while, I get asked about my thoughts on the weird little town the Horsemen and fam call home.

I have no doubts in my mind that PD based this town on nothing but vibes and what would be cool. There’s no town in New England that’s going to match the specifics, so really we just have to gather information and guess.

We’ll start with what we know:

Thunder Bay:

Seaside/coastal town

Settled in the 1700s

Population of 10,000;

About an hour outside of Meridian; travel between the cities is between 45 minutes to just over an hour, probably depending on traffic and weather.

Has both cliffs and shores near the ocean as geographical features

Rika refers to it as a small community, and frankly, the way the town is shown I feel that it would have a much smaller population. It would make sense in the population were more in the 2-5k or if Thunder Bay was a neighborhood within a bigger county. But this is a minor matter.

Meridian:

Population of 2 million (nearly half the size of LA; There isn’t a city in New England that has a population of 2 million. Boston, MA is the largest, and is still under 700,000.)

Closer to Thunder Bay than Providence, Rhode Island, but not close to Boston, MA.

Features a river that cuts through the city.

Trevor says that Boston was closer to where Rika was at Brown, and her friend could meet her within an hour if she needed help. He notes that she won't have anyone close when transferring to Trinity, indicating that Meridian is more than an hour outside Boston.

Rika says her reason for the transfer is to be closer to Thunder Bay and her mom, meaning that Providence, RI is more than an hour from Thunder Bay as well. Since we now know that Meridian is an hour away, Providence must be more than an hour away from Thunder Bay to make the move worth it.

So, location-wise, Thunder Bay is less than an hour from Meridian and more than an hour from Providence. Meridian is more than an hour from Boston. Thunder Bay could be between Boston and Meridian.

I did think about going south, into Connecticut, because besides Massachusetts, Connecticut has quite a few affluent neighborhoods and towns. Besides that, it also boarders New York which would make sense for a lot of the families that take up residence in Thunder Bay. For aesthetic reasons, I like these areas and it's hard to part with the idea.

However, Connecticut still seemed too close to Providence. Hartford, Connecticut is just over an hour away from Providence, Rhodes Island where Brown University is located, which as noted above, would make Rika's reasons for leaving pointless since it would be the same distance away.

Because of those reasons, I tend to bring Thunder Bay farther north, into New Hampshire or Maine, even though they don't have towns that match the image of Thunder Bay. Overall, I really like Maine for a lot of reason. Maine also isn’t nearly as affluent as the other states we’ve been discussing.

Maine is also the closest to Canada, making their ability to travel into Canada by train in a single night a little more realistic. Another thing about Maine is that it has a lot of cliffs and parts that jut out into the ocean, which is something mentioned about Thunder Bay at various points.

The difficult thing about Maine, though, is that it has a lot of teeny, tiny towns. And it’s not very populated in general. According to Wikipedia, the population of the entire state is less than the population of Merdian City alone (I bring this up is for personal use, but I felt it was important to say nonetheless).

It also really annoys me that the map we have seems to be upside down? I can't think of another reason why the Atlantic Ocean to be on the left side of the map. So, I think Meridian is north of Thunder Bay and Falcon Wells is south. I could have sworn that this was mentioned in the books, but I can't find it.

Anyway, like I mentioned first, this town isn't based on anything. Location wise, I like the area on the lower area of Maine. I like Cape Elizabeth, Maine for getting an idea of what a town the size of Thunder Bay with similar features would look like. And I like Bar Harbor, Maine sorta for how the town looks but I'm not committed to it. Though it does have a gazebo very close to coast!

Main is also the only state that has an amusement park right on the shore in Old Orchard Beach.

So yeah. I vote Maine.

Anyway, if you are bored, go to google and bounce around some of these towns. I started to get a feel for what driving around must have been like for them. It was pretty cool.

[jaeyong-sucker]

HOLIDAY • LUCAS

PAIRING: Wong Yukhei x Male Reader 

GENRE: Smut, Some Fluff

WARNINGS: Insecurities (Mentioned but not specified)

SUMMARY: Sex deprived Lucas and Y/N having sex first thing in the morning. 

Note: I tried making this fic more intimate than my other ones and… I hope you enjoy reading! Feedback is always appreciated. ^~^ 

♡♡♡

It's warm. 

You are currently sitting in front of the fireplace of the cabin you and your husband, Lucas, bought over two months ago. You both agreed to buy this cabin as a place for you to spend your vacation or just small breaks from your hectic jobs. Well, maybe mostly Lucas's. Being the husband of a hardworking CEO and having your job as a fulltime model could be depriving both of you physically. Although you couldn't spend much time with each other in person, you always kept in touch through those video calls and small dates when you had time. 

But today would be completely different. You both decided to spend your vacation and dedicate time only for each other. You couldn't even remember when was the last time you've become physically intimate. Probably half a month ago? A year? Crazy, you think. And it would be crazier if you won't become intimate this time at all. You woke up earlier to have Lucas by your side snoring loudly, whilst hugging the human sized pillow tightly. As much as you want to tear the pillow he seems to be attached to, you don't want to wake him up and have a grumpy husband giving you soft glares. Besides, it's been a while since he has slept this well.

Back to the fireplace, you admire the soft blanket sprawled over the mat on the floor, which adds warmth beneath you. Your back leaning against the front skirt of the sofa, which is equally soft and velvety to Lucas's preference. Perfect for fucking, as he says. You loosen the garter around the waistband of your robe as you felt hotter sitting in front of a fireplace for God knows how long. It's still different, though. Lucas's warmth feels warmer and a hundredfold better than the heat of the fireplace. Especially when your bare skins come in contact, that's one of your favorites for sure. 

Just the thought of him cuddling you makes you very impatient and want to pull him from the bed and melt into him. Just as you were about to stand up from your spot, a raspy voice called your attention and you could tell that person had just woken up. 

"Hi." Lucas comes from the kitchen with a large mug of hot choco in hand. There he is. Clad in tight Calvin Klein boxers that make you salivate on the spot. That beautiful face to die for. His big, strong arms. Those broad shoulders. His stomach that is beautifully ripped. Those firm pecs and chiseled thighs. You do not miss the faint purple marks scattered all over his neck and chest, some even on his abs and thighs. A reminder (apart from the wedding ring) that Lucas is yours alone and no one else's. Such an amazing thing to see first thing in the morning. 

"Join me, please." You pouted and made grabby arms towards your husband, who coos at the sight. He first takes the camera settled on the table and takes a photo of your cute form. He grins satisfyingly at the view he's just captured. A photo of you sitting with your legs in a W position. One side of your robe sliding down past your shoulder exposing the expanse of skin with purple marks all over your collarbone and neck. Your eyes almost resemble a begging kitten's that only fake ears are missing. 

"Move a bit, baby." He settles the mug of chocolate on the table near you and fixes himself on the space you made from moving farther from the sofa. He pulls you closer as soon as he settles comfortably behind you and gets the mug back and brings it closer to your lips to give you a taste of the sweet liquid. As you sip from the mug, you notice the arms of your husband wrapped around your body begin to tighten and you feel delicate sniffs and kisses placed on your head. You both hum in satisfaction as you found the warmth you've been craving for. The warmth you were deprived of for months. 

You placed your head above Lucas's shoulder and you smile up at him to see him returning the smile, only brighter and with his eyes forming crescents. His smile is such a refreshing sight to you. You both know he goes all out when he works, whether it be a small project or an important event, and it could be exhausting for most. However, he never loses his bright smile no matter how tired he is. It amazes you how he keeps his smile even though you weren't always with him physically to cheer him up. 

Lucas places a soft kiss on your forehead and makes a cute noise of contentment. That kiss on your forehead leads to kisses all over your face. Some are wet, but you don't mind, though. Instead you close your eyes as you enjoy the plump lips touching your skin and anticipate for the next kisses. Being this close to your husband matters the most to you.

"I miss this, baby." He finally speaks up and you look at him with full attention. He continues. "I miss being this close to you. Been a while, hasn't it?" He watches you delightfully. 

"You have no idea how much I've wanted this to happen. I've scratched the walls of our bedroom when you're at work." You both laugh at your statement and reminisce how those late night emotional video calls lead to phone sex.

"But now we're here. No interruptions." He softly said as you adjust yourself to sit on his lap and place your head on his chest to hear the calm beating of his heart. "Just the two of us alone here and we can have…", he pauses and you look at him blushing brightly, both of you knowing what he is talking about. He continues, "sex whenever we want, however we want to, wherever we want to. Even outside, but not now… it's snowing for fuck's sake." He blushes more, his whole face and ears being a shade of red. 

"We can be as loud as we want and we can do it as many times as we want. No one can hear us. It's just you and me in our world." He finishes with a quick peck on your lips, followed by a long, passionate kiss that left the both of you heaving for air as soon as you both parted. Knowing where this leads, you place the mug away from you and straddle his lap. He looks at you endearingly and pulls you lower and has your lips dancing against his. You both move in symphony, enjoying the plumpness of each other's lips and the moment together. 

Not long after, the sweet kiss turned aggressive, with Lucas holding either side of your jaw and you pulling on the hair at the back of his head; the want of each other getting stronger as time passes. You both pull out for a few good seconds before resuming locking lips with each other, both of you now having your lips swollen and saliva on your lips to your chins. 

The kiss gets more heated once you started grinding against Lucas, who turned hard which was evident by the obvious bulge and the wet spot on his gray boxers. He grinds against you in return and notices your robe sliding off. He assists you in removing the robe and admires your body once it has been thrown across the room. He moans as he sees your body covered with old purple marks on the same spots he has sucked on before. He salivates upon seeing your tiny waist and your peeking, leaking erection that is barely hidden by your short skirt, which he stripped off you.

Heavy, shaky breathing and moaning filled the room as you enjoyed each other's bodies. Lucas's face is planted on your chest as he sucks and nips on the sensitive nipples that arouse everytime he plays with them. Your hands are tangled with his hair as you grind your erection harder on his clothed cock. As need takes over you, you desperately tug at the waistband of his boxers, to which he automatically responds by sliding them off and kicking them somewhere (hopefully not on the furnace since that is his favorite pair). 

You hurriedly fetch the lube and the box of condoms. Lucas swiftly yet properly wears the condom on his monstrous cock while you squirt some lube on your fingers to stretch your hole (which was stretched by a butt plug earlier). You eagerly line up your hole as soon as Lucas coats his cock with lube. You hold on to Lucas's shoulders as you lower yourself, knowing the first minutes of the intrusion would hurt. 

"Fuck. I literally forgot how… b-big you actually are." You whimper shakily as you struggle in lowering yourself down Lucas's thick shaft; feeling so full when it's actually just the big cock head that made a smooth yet painful intrusion in your ass. 

"Shhh. Take your time, alright? We're not in a rush, don't worry." Lucas reassures, his voice ever so fondly while holding one side of your hip with one hand to stabilize your body hovering over his. His other hand holds his cock upright which is slowly hugged by your warm walls. He whispers words of praise and encouragement as you take him fully at a staggeringly slow time. You broke down to a cry once he is fully inside you. The pain was one thing but the thought of making love with your husband again makes you more emotional, to which Lucas swiftly responds by a gentle, reassuring kiss. 

You catch Lucas's lips and reciprocate just how he loves it. Slow yet passionate. You both take your time savoring each other's lips and bodies as you adjust to your husband's length. Occasional gasps and whimpers interrupted the kiss as you tested the waters by moving slightly to his shaft and gained a stinging stretch in return, making Lucas shake you by the shoulder. 

"Don't rush, okay, baby? Move when you're ready and you'll be taking control, hm?" He whispers, voice deep and soft and calming. He wraps his arms around you and slowly rubs all over your back, feeling all the warmth he has been longing for so long. He nuzzles into your warm chest before leaving delicate kisses all over the place, adoring the soft pale skin that he loves touching. 

He suddenly looks up at you with his big puppy eyes when he feels you grind against him. You nod as a confirmation and hold onto him tightly, then begin grinding slowly against him. You look at each other with half lidded eyes that shine with eagerness for each other. With both hands, you cup his face and admire the handsome sight below you. His large doe eyes below his thick eyebrows. His high nose that is strong and masculine in contrast with his innocent looking eyes. Those lips full and luscious and his sculpted jaw that complete the perfect face of your man. Your man. You smile internally, ever grateful and feeling blessed to have this perfect man by your side forever. 

He tilts his head upwards and looks at you adoringly. He takes in the sight of you hovering above him. "So perfect," he whispers in a volume loud enough for you to hear. "Beautiful, my beautiful Y/N," he continues before hugging you tighter to feel more of you. He always wonders how you complain to him and rant about how insecure you are with a certain feature of yours. No matter how much you hide yourself, he wonders how such a beautiful person feels ashamed of himself. He saw past those scars and sees how perfect you always are sans all the makeup you apply on your body. 

You indulge yourself in feeling Lucas inside you. His member keeping you full and hitting you in the right places that gave out sweet pleasure. His hands held you tightly, caressing your slender waist he absolutely loves. He groans in satisfaction, relishing how he feels this good, which he never felt in months. "Fuck, baby. You make me feel so good," he loudly moans, his breath hitting your lips which are not that far from yours. Those beautiful lips. Fuck, he wants more. 

He leans up and captures your lips. The kiss no longer needy and in search of lust. You both move in a way to make sure the other is satisfied, special, rather. You both hum in contentment at how sweet the kiss goes. Everything feels just right. The warmth. The kiss. The sex. Lucas. Yes, with Lucas everything feels safe and right. Your sunshine, your world. You both moan into the kiss, the both of you swallowing each other's sounds of delight, reacting to how your bodies melt into each other. Every small touch that tingles sweetly. 

Lucas begins thrusting in you as soon as you fall limp from exhaustion. He holds you firmly and hits you in that sweet, special spot that every thrust pulls a resonant moan from your throat. "Let me make you feel good," he growls loudly as he speeds up just in the speed and intensity and depth you love. He smirks internally, loving the way your screams of pleasure could go past the cabin's walls. He moans loudly as well, loving the way your tightness feels warm and heavenly around him. 

Not long after, loud moans and whimpers and skin slapping resounded in the room. Profanities and praises being screamed and getting louder as each second goes by. Your breaths become rapid and you hug Lucas tightly as you feel that familiar wave about to hit you. Tears brimmed your eyes and your hands traveled to Lucas's hair and you pulled him closer to your chest as you released onto the tight gap between your bodies, which are pressed together tightly. 

Lucas moves speedily under you. He holds you closely, but not too harsh to the point that your waist bruises, and thrusts unforgivingly as he chases his high, not forgetting to hit you in the prostate once in a while. His thrusts become sloppy and languid and he begins screaming your name as he releases his warm seed in the condom. He moans out your name and presses his sweaty forehead against your equally sweaty chest as his body shakes from the intensity of his orgasm. He occasionally bucks up his hips, riding out the remains of his orgasm and spilling more of his load. 

He perks up his head and shows you those needy eyes that make your heart flutter. You giggle before leaning down to press your lips against his, to which he responds by eagerly sucking on your lips. Enjoying the softness and sweetness of your lips accompanied by the euphoric orgasm you both just had. The both of you hum in contentment, having your first sex in what felt like decades and feeling blissful, smiling to the kiss. You both part for air, breathlessly panting and smirking at how swollen both your lips have become. You both stare at each other lovingly, taking in each other's features in admiration. 

Lucas snaps of his daze upon seeing you yawn and your eyelids drooping. Slowly, he pulls out of you and carefully lies you on the blanketed floor. He pulls away the condom, ties it and tosses it on the nearest bin. He then rushes into the bathroom and returns with a damp towel and another blanket after cleaning himself up. He giggles upon seeing your face forming a cute pout as he knows how whiny you could get from the loss of physical contact. He also takes a mental note to draw a warm bath later. 

He sits beside you after cleaning all the sweat and cum from your body. Then, he lifts you and carefully lines you over his semi-erect cock, then slowly guides you down until you're fully warming his length. He grabs the blanket and drapes it over you. You could feel the warm grasp of your husband's arms enveloping you, and you can't help but lean further into Lucas despite your bodies being completely pressed together. He presses a kiss against your forehead before speaking up. 

"How are you, babe?" He asks, his eyes showing sweet sincerity. 

"So good. You made me feel so good. Just the way I love it." You winked.

"You were good, too. I mean, better than the last time." 

"I can't even remember when we last had sex." You chuckle.

"Me, too. But I remember how it went. So wild and crazy and wet. But it was great. I had you screaming my name all day long." He smirks. 

"You screamed mine today a lot, don't forget. It makes me imagine how submissive you would be if I take full control." You smirk in return, observing Lucas's face morph into subtle shock at the idea and you don't miss the way he gulped. 

"You know that can't happen … mommy?" He responds then he turns to a chuckling mess that halted when you wrapped a hand across his neck. He turns shocked, yet amused at this new thing happening. 

"You're so pretty like this, good boy." You mock and flash a cocky grin, seeing how your beast-like husband turned into a puppy with your hand around his neck. Oh, to have a leash around that beautiful neck. 

He shakes his head out of your hand and hides his madly blushing face on your shoulder. "Shut up, Wong Y/N." He whimpers and you chuckle darkly. You get excited in thinking of making your sweet moments spicier and definitely to Lucas's liking and enjoyment. You conjure different scenarios of you and Lucas being dirty and kinky in every place in this cabin. 

Yes, they'll happen. You both will have just the best and most memorable vacation ever. 

♡♡♡

Happy Holidays! This fic came out later than expected but I think it's just fine. Just think of it as my gift to you for the last day of the year lmao. So, Happy Hoelidays and Happy New Year! 

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

- jaeyong_sucker ^~^

[headinthestaticsky]

The Phenomenon of the Immortal Sun: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 6

None of the characters in Twilight belong to me, all rights go to Stephenie Meyer!

Authors note: I have no idea if I used these song lyrics in a previous chapter in Eclipse... I have a garbage memory.

"Stars did fall. Thunder rolled. Bugs crawled back, In their holes. The couple screamed, but it was far too late. Her jealous heart did retaliate."

Ten Cent Pistol by, The Black Keys.

Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie looked like they wanted to kill someone. Alice, Dean, Esme, and Bree all looked confused and hurt.

Rosalie inhaled deeply.

"We need to do something about those two..." Rosalie said.

"They're way out of line... Edward especially... human or not I would kill anyone who comes near Fleur." Jasper added, fury was still in his voice.

"What can you guys do he's your brother. Besides after Bella turns they were going to go live in that cabin you guys renovated for them."

"We'll need to do something, you don't need any of this right now... I'm disappointed in him." Esme said sadly.

Before I could say anything else I could hear Bella scream.

"She must've just gotten bitten." I murmured.

"Hey you're probably thirsty, your eyes are starting to turn black, let me get you something," Esme suggested.

"That'd be great thanks... Jazz, could you hand me my phone?"

"Sure, what for darlin?" Jasper said sitting next to me.

"I need to call Sam and Leah... they need to know about this too. If we keep it from them, they could consider it a threat."

Carlisle's office door swung open, Edward ran toward the front door and slammed it. Carlisle came out with an annoyed look on his face.

"He's going to be the second death of me I swear he is."

"Well Seth already knows, maybe he told Leah." Bree suggested.

"Maybe he did but it won't hurt to check." I replied. I dialed Leah's number first thinking she might be a little more understanding.

"Fleur?" I heard her ask on the other line.

"Hey, Leah... has Seth told you anything lately?" My voice trembled slightly. I heard Leah sigh before letting out a laugh.

"Yeah, Seth told me you were pregnant calm down." I heard her reply.

"Oh, so Sam knows too?"

"Yeah but he's a bit skeptical... you know how he is." Leah mumbled.

"Yeah... but what about Bella... he does know that today is her changing day, the transformation is already happening."

"The last thing he told Seth about her is that she's not our concern anymore... it's her choice to change, we can't stop it." Leah explained.

"Listen I gotta go, I'll see you soon."

"See you later." She hung up a few seconds later. I rested my head on Jasper's should and sighed in relief.

"Here Fleur, maybe this we'll make you feel a bit better," Esme said, handing me a glass.

I grasped the cup and chugged it, it was gone a few seconds later. I didn't feel much better.

"Your eyes are still black...each bag should have the exact amount of blood you need for the next few days... How about you have some more?

I gulped down another bag, it still wasn't enough.

"This isn't good." Carlisle explained, he looked puzzled.

"Ehh...why isn't that good?" I inquired

"Well, if you can never be satisfied with the amount of blood your drinking you will eventually begin to starve. You will lose your strength, and could possibly have moments of insanity." Carlisle explained.

"I can handle this... it'll be worth it for him. Besides like you said before it most likely won't be a full 9 months."

"We'll all be by your side darlin." Jasper reassured, kissing my cheek.

"I'll monitor you whenever I can, it seems they're already growing quickly." Carlisle said, gesturing down to my bump.

Over the next few weeks, my baby grew more and more, but I was beginning to get weaker. No matter how much blood I drank, nothing seemed to sedate me. The rest of the Cullens were on edge with Edward and Bella, and since Bella was finally a vampire, they couldn't trust them at all. They weren't around much but when they were Rosalie and Jasper seemingly stood guard for me. I was zoned out, laying in an armchair since I was beginning to get sick of sitting on the same couch when Esme interrupted my concentration.

"Fleur, Leah and Seth are here." She called out.

I sat up and smiled, gesturing for her to bring them in. Leah and Seth walked in carrying some wrapped boxes with them.

Esme walked in with them before giving a quick goodbye as she wanted to help Carlisle and Rosalie with collecting food for me.

"You two did not have to get me anything." I said.

"Look aunt Leah has to get my nephew something." She said a smile was on her face.

I opened the box, a stuffed wolf plushie was inside, a dreamcatcher was underneath the plushie.

"These gifts are great thank you!"

"No problem, I thought they would be nice."

"You are the only one who thinks it's a boy, everyone else thinks it's a girl."

"I trust your instincts." Leah shrugged before pulling up a chair and sitting next to me.

"So how are you Fleur?" Seth asked, he shuffled around in his place, his eyes were scanning for someone else.

"It's getting rougher now since he's growing so big but, I know it'll all be worth it in the end."

"Your eyes look really dark, aren't they suppose to be red?" Leah inquired.

"We're beginning to think he's half-vampire half-human, he has a heartbeat it's just slightly faster than usual humans. He's definitely drinking the blood I get."

"I heard what happens to vampires when they don't feed...it gets rough." Leah said rubbing my back comfortingly.

"I have my moments but, they haven't been too bad."

"Where's the rest of the Cullens?" Seth inquired.

"Hunting, Edward, and Bella don't show up much... they don't want me to have my baby. But the rest of the Cullen's are really supportive and Jasper is ecstatic about it." I rubbed my bump unconsciously.

"But how do you eat?" Leah asked, her eyebrows were furrowed.

"Carlisle and Rose get these bags of animal blood for me." I saw Leah sigh and Lean back against her seat.

"These vampires aren't so bad after all...I'm glad Seth found Bree... she seems nice." Leah smiled.

"Oh she really is, she didn't know what she was doing when she was turned... I'm glad we're able to help her."

"So... when do you think you'll give birth?"

"Carlisle said I could give birth in a week or two... It's nerve-wracking, it's so unpredictable."

"Hey, you'll be fine... I'll stay here for a bit if you need." Leah offered.

"That would be nice but, I don't want to put you through any trouble."

"It wouldn't be any trouble besides If Edward or Bella tries something... they're going to have to deal with me too."

I laughed but before I could say anything I could sense Edward and Bella coming in, but the others were still farther away.

"Great... now we got werewolves constantly coming in." Bella complained.

Seth and Leah looked up shocked.

"Bella... did you forget you were in a toxic, manipulative love triangle for a solid year with a werewolf... for a solid fucking year." I snapped back.

"Jacob doesn't talk to me anymore!" Bella roared.

"Good for him, he needs to move on." I said, Leah nodded in agreement.

"You always have to stick your opinion in don't you?" Bella said.

"Uhh... you walked in for 5 seconds are were already trying to start shit with me." I snapped, the rage in my body burned.

"Hey, don't you snap at my wife." Edward snarled, he started walking up to me slowly.

"Back off Edward." Leah warned, she seemed to feel how pissed off I was.

"Can it mutt."

"Edward... I've been starving for almost a month... don't try me."

"What can you do? You're frail, weak, impaired." Edward pushed, walking up in front of me.

"What in the fuck are you two still doing here? I mean... honestly, you both got what you wanted, Edward you got a mate, and Bella, you became immortal. If you can't stand the decisions we're all making then why don't you just leave?"

"Because we're protected, we're the feared Olympic coven... Who wouldn't want to stay here." Edward explained, he rolled his eyes as if it were obvious.

"Oh I see... you're using them, you're too unskilled to protect yourselves so why wouldn't you want to let everyone else do the work?" I said in fake shock, Leah and Seth began to chuckle.

"I'm not unskilled enough to protect myself from you." Bella smirked, joining Edward in front of me.

"...You two fucking try something I dare you because the way I've been feeling all month I fucking dare someone to mess with me. I growled standing up on my own, it was strange... it was like a new strength filled my body.

Leah came up in front of me and put an arm between us three.

"Just drop it you three... this isn't going to end well." Leah warned.

Edward smirked and then grabbed me, I quickly flipped him around and as I warned before kicked him through the glass wall.

I heard shuffling and turned around to see Leah holding Bella down with Seth helping her out. I turned back around to the window, I saw Edward lying on the ground with Dean, Alice, Esme, and Emmett looking up at me in shock. I saw Carlisle approach Edward, a deadly look was on his face.

"Damn short stack!" I heard three sets of feet running inside Jasper, Rosalie, and Bree came into the lounge room. Bree went to go help Seth and Leah with Bella.

"Darlin are you okay?" Jasper called toward me worryingly. I couldn't say anything however as that newfound strength had dissipated, and I clutched my head. Rosalie and Jasper rushed to me.

"That's it I can't stand those two anymore they have to get out of here!" Rosalie exclaimed, Jasper just nodded in agreement.

When I was sat back down in the armchair I decided to explain what happened. The rest of the Cullens came back in, Edward couldn't look me in the eyes now.

"So sweety, what happened?" Esme inquired.

"I was just sitting with Leah and Seth when Bella started complaining that Leah and Seth were here."

Bella tried to say something but Rosalie gave her a glare.

"I snapped at her I'll admit but... then Edward started coming up to me threateningly... but he then he said that he was just living with you guys because he was being protected... and long story short Edward grabbed me and I kicked him through the glass wall." I finished. I had never seen Carlisle or Esme so mad before.

"Is that true?" Carlisle inquired.

"But..."

"HE SAID IS IT TRUE!" Esme interrupted.

Edward bit down a growl before answering.

"Yes."

"You two can't come around here anymore...nor do you two belong to this coven." Carlisle demanded.

Bella gasped.

"What a second we can work something out..." She started.

"Look I'm not going to spend decades of you three fighting all the time... and personally, I'm personal want to keep the one I like." Rosalie sniped.

"Leave at once," Carlisle said.

Edward and Bella stormed out of the house and ran off. A thick silence overtook the air.

"Uh...sorry about the wall." Jasper shushed me before pulling me in for a kiss.

"You two okay?" He asked, rubbing my stomach.

"Oh yeah he's having a blast...you should've felt him, he was kicking up a storm. He's a fighter I can tell." I said smiling. Jasper curled up to me and rested his head on mine. I saw the Cullens as well as Leah and Seth glance at each other, leaving the room.

"You know, I can feel what emotions they feel," Jasper stated.

"Really? How is he feeling now?"

"They loves the sound of your voice, I can tell. They get so happy when they hear it."

I smiled fondly on my bump before rubbing it softly.

"I'm glad you love it, we both love you that's for sure..."

[ryndicate]

꘏ Requesting Rules ꘏

Please be considerate!

IMPORTANT. As the word "request" goes, I choose which ones I answer. Which ones I'll write are dependent on my mood and how much I like them. The more they align with my interests, the more likely I am to fixate on them.

Note the previous page for characters you'll catch my interest with <3 Want to request a character but can't think of anything? Try these.

And put some love into it!!! Don't just yeet a prompt at me, there's a reason the previous page specifys thirst requests <- the link is words of a moot (linked with permission) but the point is explained really well. I'm a person who likes to write. And being a person means that I don’t want to be treated like a writing machine. Let’s be excited about fandom together, not selfish.

Examples of undesirable requests:

What if nnoitra was with a female reader who was more powerful then him? You can choose fluff, or nsfw

How they fall in love (aizen and as nodt (seperately ) f reader plz

Examples of desirable requests:

"I think Aizen would fall in love with you the moment you called him out that you think the way he speaks to others is manipulative"

"You fall in love with Aizen because you're certain he's hiding something real behind that perfect mask of a smile."

Obviously optional, but if I answer your thirst request please come back and tell me what you think. I can't even begin to tell you how much I'd appreciate it. I will love you forever, this is the law.

And lastly, please be patient with me. Since this is a hobby of mine, I'm not always writing. Sometimes I'm tired, or my job or life is getting in the way. If you feel like I'm taking too much time, feel free to check in on me and see how I'm doing instead. Kindness will always take you farther.

Edit::I didn't think this needed to be said, but I won't be accepting requests from ageless/blank blogs or blogs that don't rb fanfic

What I will write

Nsfw & DC! Heavy Lean towards DC :: full list ::

Female readers only! (Fem body/pronouns) That’s my preferred reader type, as it matches my experience.

I do have some oc’s for fandoms I love that I’ll bring up from time to time

If I’m in the mood for it, I do dabble in char x char, fluff/domestic

What I won't write

No minors or high school settings.

I'm not super fond with dominant readers because I struggle to take charge. So it's not that I won't write them, I just really have to be in specific mood for them.

Specific!readers :: as in no petite/chubby readers etc. I try my best to stay away from body/hair/skin types when writing my readers. I’m prone to mistakes so please let me know if you catch anything.

There are probably kinks or content I’m not willing to write but i can’t think of any off the top of my head. If they come up I’ll just let you know!

[floating-mid-air]

The Princess of All Saiyans

-

Masterlist

-

So first things first. I should probably mention that I killed Chi-Chi off before the start of the story. I completely forgot to include it in the notes last chapter. So sorry if there was any confusion there.

Ever since the last chapter, I've been kinda hooked on flashbacks. So there will be another one, this one featuring the man, the myth, the legend, the most ruthless of all the Saiyans King Vegeta. Also, my dumbass finally decided to create a Masterlist. I realized it's much easier than linking chapters individually. 

-

Chapter 7

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You've been on Planet Namek for approximately two hours, and the day has already been tremendously eventful. You and Vegeta have already had a run-in with Cui, who arrived shortly after you. That purple cretin went out the same way he lived as a spineless coward. Something was extremely satisfying about watching Vegeta drive that failure into the ground. Cui's demise was entirely his own fault. It's common knowledge that Saiyans grow stronger after a near-death experience. Underestimating your brother's growth was an act of pure stupidity.

After that minor inconvenience, the two of you toon into Dodoria's transmission, it sounds like those goons are slaughtering a village of Namekians, so they must store their Dragon Balls in separate settlements. Either that or they're executing them for leisure. Both are feasible possibilities. From what you've been able to gather, Frieza has four Dragon Balls in his possession, and he's currently after his fifth. Frieza even reveals some essential information on how these Namkeian villages operate. Before the signal cuts off entirely. 

Vegeta attempts to find another channel, but they all come up as static. "Those Namekians must be craftier than they look. Something tells me Frieza's scouters are out of commission."

"Perhaps." He turns to you. "Or they figured out we were eavesdropping. Either way, keep your guard up."

The two of you fly around aimlessly. Though you still need to be careful. Frieza is somewhere on this god-forsaken planet, and a run-in with him and his lackeys at the moment would be unfavorable. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot something that catches your attention. " I spy with my little eye an unsightly pink blob."

You direct Vegeta's attention to Dodoria, who has his classic disoriented look on his face. "Good eye." He smirks at you before ambushing Dodoria, knocking him into the water. You appear beside your brother on the shoreline, observing the water intently. 

Two pink hands grasp onto the terrain as he pulls his head up, gasping for air. You both laugh maniacally at the pink creature's stupidity. You swear, after every encounter you have with Dodoria, he somehow gets dumber. "Oh, it's you two." He sounds far from pleased as he pulls himself out of the lake. "What the hell do you want?"

"Mind your manners, Dodoria." You scold him. "No need to be crude."

He scowls at you. "Arrogant Saiyans." He mutters under his breath. "That was a dirty trick Vegeta. Although I wouldn't expect anything less from you monkeys." Dodoria straightens his posture in an attempt to appear more intimidating. Spoiler alert, it doesn't work. "You know I can't just let you get away with blindsiding me." 

Vegeta chuckles, rolling his eyes at the monster. "Oh, really now? Just what do you plan on doing? You're all alone. There's no Zarbon or Frieza for you to cower behind. How unfortunate for you."

"I doubt we'll even have to lift a finger." You shrug. "This should be a piece of cake."

Dodoria chuckles, shifting his gaze between you and Vegeta. "You two really think you can take me? You're both as egotistical as that father of yours, and you know how that ended for him. You Saiyan freaks will never be half the warrior that I am." You clench your fists, your nails digging into your palm. How dare he even mention your father. "Listen, I know neither of you desires to fight me. And I don't particularly want to fight you either. So how about you just give me that scouter, and we can forget this ever happened. That's more than a fair deal. I think I'm actually being quite generous." His tone may be confident, but his body language gives him away. Who knew the pink menace was actually afraid of something. 

"So your presumption was right." Vegeta turns to you. "Those Namekians must have destroyed their scouters. This puts us in an intriguing situation, doesn't it Y/N?" Vegeta removes his scouter, tossing it on the ground. "What are you waiting for, Dodoria? Take it."

He eyes you both skeptically, but he still takes the bait. Critical thinking has never been Dodoria's strong suit. "About time you brats showed me the respect I deserve." As he steps closer, Vegeta stomps on the scouter. The wretched thing, smashing into thousands of worthless pieces.

The pink monstrosity sneers. "No worries. I'll just take the girl's scouter." He speeds toward you, extending a hand in an attempt to rip the device off your face. Before he can even touch you, you grasp his arm, bending it behind his back.

"Why do they always think it's appropriate to get handsy with me?" A breathy sigh escapes your lips. "They'll never learn." You remove your scouter, holding it in the palm of your unoccupied hand. "Since you want it so bad." You snap your scouter in half, discarding the parts to the ground. "You ever think about laying your filthy hands on me again, you'll lose them." You toss the fool several feet away. The farther away he is, the better. 

"Why would you--- it doesn't even matter." He stands back up, dusting himself off. "Now, you won't be able to find the Dragon Balls either."

You shake your head at him, a pleased look crossing your features. "Not exactly. You see, Earth was quite the adventure. We picked up a few new tricks. One that leaves those hunks of metal useless."

Dedoria furrows his brows at you, his entire face contorting. "You're lying."

"I'm afraid she isn't. This energy-sensing technique is quite simple. I doubt any of the members of the elite Frieza Force would be interested, though. It doesn't require much strength, and everyone knows you don't care for anything that doesn't involve flexing your muscles." Dodoria is more fat than muscle. It's an irrelevant technicality, one that would only piss off the blob more. 

"I get it now." He seems to come to some sort of a realization. Only you have no idea what the hell he's referring to. "Those two runts I was chasing were earthlings." You stare at him in disbelief. Is it possible for them to be here? Raditz, he's the only possible explanation. But would he really be dumb enough to lead those weaklings to their deaths?

"W-What did you say?" Vegeta's mouth hangs agape.

"So I'm right. The looks on your faces tell me all I need to know. You're working together."

You combust into a fit of laughter, wiping tears from your eyes. This has to be the funniest thing you've heard all week. "Even if those pests were here. Never in a million years would we align ourselves with those soft-hearted fools."

"You must be mistaken. Even if those earthlings were here, we'd be able to sense them." Now that you think about it. Have you been able to sense them? You haven't been looking, but you have felt some strange energy. You just assumed it was some half-wit from the Frieza Force, but now you're not so sure.

 "It doesn't really matter anyway." He rolls his eyes. "You two are no longer any use to me. So either get lost, or I'll have to finish you off myself."

"Why, how generous of you." The sarcasm practically drips from your voice. "I think he's afraid Vegeta."

"Well, can you blame him? His scouter probably told him everything he needed to know. He must have seen my battle with Cui." For every step Vegeta takes forward, Dodoria takes another backward. "He must have seen how much stronger I've become."

"That isn't possible." He scoffs. "Those numbers were inaccurate, and I'll prove it!" He shoots an uncontrollable blast of fire at you both, which you simply dodge by stepping out of the line of fire.

"Was that really the best you could do?" You mock. It was sloppy even for an attack from Dodoria.

He turns around, only to be met with the two of you behind him, floating in the air. Vegeta swiftly moves behind him, grabbing both of his arms, twisting them behind his back. You swear you even heard them snap. "Look how weak you are." Vegeta sneers. "I'm stronger than I've ever been. While you've been sitting on your ass all-day, becoming soft and lazy. I should just end your pitiful life here."

"Wait, Vegeta!" He cries. "I have something to tell you! Something you'll really want to know! It's about your homeworld. I know the truth about Planet Vegeta!" Does that pink blob actually believe he has a form of leverage? What a fool.

"What could you possibly know about Planet Vegeta? You better start talking!" You furrow your brows at your brother. He's behaving strangely. And why is he humoring Dodoria in the first place? Vegeta has to already know about what they did to your homeworld.

"I will, but first, you have to let me go." Vegeta releases Dodoria from his death grip, pushing him away.

"Now, spit it out!" You observe the pair from a safe distance. Vegeta's response is bizarre, and his body language seems to have no ulterior motives. Is it possible that Vegeta doesn't know? You grab your forehead, running a hand through your hair. If that's the case, Vegeta is going to fucking kill you.

"As you know, Planet Vegeta was destroyed, but it wasn't by a meteor. Lord Frieza had started to notice numerous Saiyan babies being born with extraordinary combat skills. You two were the most notable in power. He realized that you Saiyans could really be a problem. You had the potential of becoming a real bother to Lord Frieza's regime. So he decided to wipe out the only race that could ever impose him before they could even become an issue. He destroyed Planet Vegeta with every last Saiyan on it. Well, except for you two. Did you really think it was a coincidence that you were off-planet? So there it is, you two are finally in on our little joke."

You've always known what happened to your planet. But now you've learned the answer to an even more substantial question, why it occurred. Frieza was afraid. He decided to take the coward's way out. How pathetic. 

You laugh, tilting your head backward. "That was your big ploy? I've known about that for years!" Before he can even react, you teleport behind him, impaling your hand through his chest, watching the purple goop ooze out of him. "How stupid did you think we were?" You twist your hand, tossing his lifeless body to the ground before obliterating anything left of him.

Vegeta stares at you in shock. "You knew?"

You raise a brow at him. "You didn't?" You always assumed that it was one of those things that you both knew but never spoke off. Turns out you were mistaken.

The two of you stand in silence. You have no idea what the protocol is for this. You don't know what you're supposed to say. Vegeta looks away, sighing. "It's irrelevant now. It was probably for the best that I was left in ignorance. Who knows what I would've done as a child. I'm just annoyed that you were able to figure it out before me."

You smile at him. Besting Vegeta is not something that comes easily. So you'll take what you can get. "You know, I don't think he was wrong about the earthlings."

"You think they're here?"

You nod. "You gotta remember. Raditz is with them now."

"Good point. When I get my hands on that pathetic excuse for a Saiyan, he'll regret ever betraying us. Let's go. We can't be out in the open for too long."

He hovers in the air, beginning to take off. "Vegeta." He turns back, meeting your gaze. "You know I would've told you, right?"

"I know---" He cuts himself off, his eyes practically bulging out of his head. "Do you sense that?" You nod, taking off in the direction of the two large power sources. Dodoria had mentioned that they were runts. So one of them has to be the half-breed and possibly the bald fellow. Your eyes scan over the terrain. They have to be around here somewhere. "They must be suppressing their power levels. Only if I still had my damn scouter. I'm not used to this technique just yet."

Bingo. You found them hiding between a few boulders. And your assumptions were right. There's only a slight difference. They seem to be accompanied by a Namkian child. A sadistic grin spreads across your face as their gazes land on you. Just the way you remember them, cowering in fear due to your presence. "You know. It was probably just three insignificant insects." You're not wrong. That's all they are to you. Pesky flies that invade your personal space and make your life slightly more irritating.

"You're right. We don't have time for this anyway. Let's get a move on." You both take off, leaving the earthling issue for another time.

It took you awhile, but you finally located a Namkeian village. Well, actually, you passed several, but this is the only one with a living population. "Looks like we found ourselves a Dragon Ball." Vegeta's lips twist into a sly grin, heading straight into the village. You follow his lead, now standing directly beside him. You've finally gained the attention of the inhabitants, who are now murmuring to each other. Who knew Namekians were such gossips. Their chatter dies down the second Vegeta clears his throat. "I wish to speak to your elder. I believe there is a Dragon Ball here, that we'll be graciously taking off your hands."

"I'm the village elder." An older Namkain steps up. These creatures do not age kindly. "I would ask you what your intentions are, but I can already feel that you are impure. I sense an unspeakable evil in both of you. Neither of you is worthy." What a self-righteous species. They're entirely different from that Namekian you encountered on Earth.

Vegeta shakes his head, chuckling to himself. Only if the Namekians cooperated, Vegeta has never taken the word no very well. "Then you die. Y/N, you do the honors." This could've ended smoothly, with a lot less bloodshed. Too bad for them.

"You got it, Vegeta." You hold up a finger gun, pointing it straight at the elder. "Bang!" A beam of blue light heads straight for the geezer before another Namkian jumps in front of him, absorbing the blast entirely. The body drops to the ground, and all hell breaks loose. 

You begin the slaughter, ending the lives of several Namkeians. Until you freeze, as much as you've been itching for a fight, you're reminded of something far more crucial that you have to fulfill. Damn your morals. They're ruining all your fun. You take one last glance at your brother. These Namekians should keep him occupied for some time. He might not even notice that you ever left. As soon as he turns away from you, you take off, successfully staying off of Vegeta's radar. 

You use your newly acquired energy-sensing technique to track down that Namekian child. Since those earthlings are suppressing their energy, they'll be much more difficult to find. This is assuming he's still with them. Those earthlings aren't like you. Neither of them would be able to stomach, leaving him for dead.

You pinpoint the energy source to a cave. What a strange place for them to reside in. You head into the cavern, only to find some form of futuristic architecture. How the hell did this get here? And what is Capsule Corp? You move toward the door, banging on it. "Knock, knock. Oh, little piglets, let me in! Before I knock the door down. Or worse." You can overhear faint whispering on the other side, mixed with a woman obnoxiously shrieking. "I can hear you panicking. Relax, I have no business with the half-breed, the Namekian child, or any earthlings in there. Now open the damn door."

The door slowly opens, revealing the bald man, whose name you believe to be Krillin. "What do you want, Y/N?"

"I need to speak to Raditz. It's urgent."

"Well, you can't---" Krillin gets pushed to the ground by none other than the infamous Hair Boy himself. This allows you to step inside the building. It must be some sort of luxury living quarters. 

The two of you stand arm's length from each other, matching cold expressions on your faces. "You here to kill me?"

"No." The corners of your lips tug upwards. "Well, at least not yet."

"So why are you here?" His face twists in confusion. "You aren't one to just drop in and say hi."

You take a deep breath, glancing around the room. This would be difficult to say one-on-one, but being surrounded by people makes it ten times worse. "There's something--- I need to tell you."

An arrogant smirk appears on his lips. "What? Did you finally fall for my good looks and charm? Are you finally declaring that you've fallen hopelessly in love with me?"

Your face scrunches up in disgust. "Don't make me ill." That would never happen, even if he was the last male Saiayn in existence, which he pretty much is. "I'm here to tell you the truth about what occurred on Planet Vegeta."

"What are you talking about?" Raditz eyebrows knit together. "A meteor wiped out our people."

You sigh, glancing at the ceiling. "Come on, Raditz. You're a lot of things, but you aren't stupid. There was no meteor. Even if there was one, our people could fly."

"What are you trying to say?" he squeezes his eyes shut, trying to shield himself from the inevitable blow.

"Our people were exterminated by that imperialistic dictator." Your voice booms. You're not even attempting to conceal your anger.

Raditz clenches his fists, his hands violently shaking. All he can think about is his mother, how she deserved better. The majority of your people deserved what they got, but not Gine. She was different. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Raditz always knew there was no meteor. The story was too perfect, and it was easier to believe that it was a tragedy. "Why?" That was all he could manage to choke out. Did Raditz really want to know? Would he be able to handle the truth? 

The others in the room remain silent, observing you anxiously. You're even more terrifying than they believed. You're not joking around or aloof this time. You're only expressing one thing, pure rage. So you do care about something. Whether you desire vengeance or truly cared for your people is unclear to the earthlings.

"Frieza was terrified. Our people were getting too strong for his liking. The Saiyan population was skyrocketing due to technological advancements. He was scared of what we could accomplish, terrified of the possibility that he could be out-ranked."

A Cheshire grin appears on Raditz's face. "We'll prove to him that he was right to fear us, right?"

"You bet your ass we will. We'll make Frieza regret leaving us alive." You take a deep breath, finally attempting to get your emotions in check, returning to your cold demeanor. "I just thought you should know. Before I killed him, Dodoria let the cat out of the bag to Vegeta."

"You killed that pink asshole? It was about time. How'd it feel?" The other stare at you two in bewilderment. Two seconds ago, you were swearing revenge, and now you're as casual as can be.

"It was extremely satisfying sending that pink blob straight to hell." You purse your lips together, cracking your neck. I should get back before Vegeta blows a fuse." You move to the doorway, stopping dead in your tracks. "Oh, ya one, last thing. Frieza's here."

"We know his men are here. We've already had the pleasure of encountering the Frieza Force."

"Raditz, I'm afraid you don't understand. It's not just his minions. He's here on Namek." Raditz chokes on air, his eyes popping out. You slam the door shut, hearing Raditz's reaction through the walls. The phrases we're so fucked, and we're all gonna die were your favorites of his elaborate babbling. You take off, heading back in the direction you came from.

As you near the location of the village, you quickly realize there is no point in returning. You can't sense any life, and that includes Vegeta. So this means he knows you ran off. You were due for one of his famous lectures anyway. Hopefully, he's not wasting his time searching for you. That would only make your predicament worse. 

You search in every direction, finally detecting your brother's energy to the west. Vegeta's power level is diminishing at an alarming rate. Maybe he's run into Zarbon or worse, Frieza. You take off at light speed, heading straight for the battleground.

Once you arrive, you conceal yourself behind a hill, observing the battle intently. It appears that Vegeta is fighting Zarbon, but something is off about the narcissist. His chest seems broader than it usually is. 

Zarbon turns around, your eyes widening at the ghastly sight. What the fuck happened to his face? He has to be the most hideous creature you've ever laid your eyes on, and there's a lot of competition for that category. This must be an alternate form of his, similar to your Great Ape form. It doesn't surprise you that you've never seen his transformation before. Even though it considerably increases his strength, his vanity has no limit. 

The green-haired egomaniac slams your brother into the ground, creating a blazing explosion. He stares down into the water-filled crater, and Vegeta is nowhere to be found. Your brother has gotten especially good at playing dead as of recent.

Zarbon reverts back into his base form, flying off into the distance. You wait an appropriate amount of time before heading toward the teal mass of water. You scan the lake, searching for your brother. He surfaces back up seconds later, desperately gasping for air. You extend a hand to Vegeta, pulling him onto land. 

He takes a few moments to collect himself before glaring daggers at you. "Where the--- hell did you run off to?" Despite being winded, he manages to find the breath to shout at you.

"I sensed some members of the Frieza Force. Thought I'd say hello." Believable lies are your specialty at this point.

"You can't---" He stops himself, his features softening at your expression. "Just never do that again. No more running off, especially without telling me. I'm serious this time. With Freiza here, I don't want you leaving my side again."

You can feel a familiar power level rapidly approaching, Zarbon's returning. "Change of plans. Go retrieve the Dragon Ball from that Namkian village. I tossed it in the water. I'll take care of the five that Frieza has."

"But, Vegeta." You giggle. "I'm not supposed to leave your side."

He glares at you. "Of course, now you decide to start listening to me. There is no reason for both of us to get captured. Now go!" You move to camouflage yourself again. Zarbon must need Vegeta for something. They most likely found the decimated village and want to question him about the location of the orb.

You watch Zarbon pick up your brother, who's pretending to be unconscious, and he flys away. You wait till you can no longer see Zarbon before speeding off to the Namekian village. Your plan is to retrieve the sphere and then take shelter somewhere. That is until you can sense Vegeta again.

You land in the ruins that were once the Namekian village. Damn Vegeta, did a lot of damage here. Your head snaps to the water. You swear you heard a splashing noise, and it couldn't have been a sea creature. If it was, the sound would've been louder. So what is it? Could it be one of Freiza's goons? If it is, they're probably weak. You'd be able to take them out with ease.

The creature emerges from the water with the four-star ball in his hands. He's a tiny little thing, way too small to be anyone currently in the Frieza Force. Something about the runt seems vaguely familiar. Wait a minute, that's Kakarot's brat. His hair's just shorter than it used to be. Half breeds must be able to change the length and style of their hair, fascinating. 

You sneak behind him with a blank look on your face. "What do you think you're doing, brat?"

Gohan jumps, turning around. "Y/N?" He shrieks, dropping the orb, which you swiftly catch one-handed. He looks around, anxiously searching for something or possibly someone. "Where's Vegeta?" His voice trembles just at saying your brother's name alone. Vegeta must have left quite the impression.

"Vegeta got himself---" You can feel Zarbon's impending presence once again, and the look on the brat's face tells you he can sense it too. This energy-sensing technique is becoming quite tedious, but you suppose it's better than being blindsided. What could Zarbon possibly want now? He already took Vegeta. Maybe he came to search for the Dragon Ball himself? Shit, you can't stay out in the open like this. You grab Gohan in one arm. And the four-starred ball in the other, rushing into a nearby cave. As an extra precaution, you seal the entrance with a boulder. Zarbon may be vain, but he's also significantly brighter than Dodoria was. Though that isn't very hard to do. 

You put a finger up to your lips, signaling for Gohan to keep quiet. The foot-steps outside grow louder. He must be standing right outside the cave by now. "Where are you, Vegeta?" He sounds deranged. So Vegeta did escape. Your best guess for Zarbon's erratic behavior is that Vegeta's prison break put Zarbon in hot water with Frieza. "Lord Frieza is going to have my head if I don't retrieve those Dragon Balls." Your insane brother actually did it. He stole the Dragon Balls from right under Frieza's nose. You're father's probably smiling up from hell as we speak.

You slide against the cave wall, dropping to the ground, leaning your head against the rock. You both might be here for a while. Zarbon is quite thorough with his searches. If he were to find you, it would put you in a tricky situation, especially with a Dragon Ball in your possession.

Gohan walks over to you, sitting down across from you. "Who is that?" Even though he's whispering, he's still being too loud for your liking."

"It's Zarbon. Now be quiet." You cover the orange ball in dirt and moss. If Zarbon does find you, the orb will be hidden in plain sight. Once finished with your little project, you shut your eyes. It's almost like you're alone. And not trapped in an enclosed space with your opposition's son.

"Y/N?" Your eyes snap open, immediately narrowing at the boy. You were about to reprimand him, but that was until you noticed the item in his hands. Your features soften as he extends the necklace to you.

You accept the necklace, grasping it tightly in your hands. "Thanks." A slight smile ghosts your lips before quickly vanishing.

"I was just returning what was yours." He looks at you, nervously twiddling his thumbs. "Hey Y/N? Where did you get that necklace from?" You hold up the jewelry, swinging the chain back and forth, getting lost in the memory.

Twenty-something years ago:

You're sitting down on your bed, with a book placed in your hands. Your gaze scans carefully over each word, occasionally flicking your wrist to flip the page. This is the newest piece of literature in your vast collection. You've only had this book for a few weeks. Vegeta gave it to you when he and Nappa returned from a mission off-planet. The book is all about these things called wish orbs. If you gather all seven, you can be granted all sorts of magical wishes. Vegeta says they're nothing more than a fairytale. That it's childish to believe in such an absurd concept, but you're convinced they exist. You've definitely seen stranger things occur, so it's in the realm of possibility for orbs to grant wishes. 

You hadn't even noticed that your father had entered your room. Until he was standing directly in front of you. Panic overtakes your body, your heart beating out of your chest. You slide the book under your comforter, even though it was much too late to hide the evidence. Your reaction may seem a bit extreme, but it's for a good reason. Books aren't necessarily illegal on Planet Vegeta, but they are forbidden. Your father believes that literacy is a waste of time. He considers combat training to be more essential to the prosperity of the Saiyan race.

"Relax." His gruff voice invades your ears. "I already know about the various books you hide around the palace." The king is a very observant man, making it extremely challenging to keep things from him. His general policy regarding situations like this is, he won't say anything unless someone brings it to his attention. Then he would be forced to move his hand, having to find a proper form of punishment.

"Is---Is there something you need?" It's not like him to drop by unannounced. Your father is a very busy man, sometimes you won't even see him for months at a time.

"As you know, you're going on a crucial mission tomorrow. Are you going to behave for your brother?" You nod in agreement. "You are also not to leave his side, do you understand me?" Ever since the incident, you're not allowed off-planet without either your father or Vegeta. One of them has to watch you like a hawk at all times because of one stupid mistake. That will probably be held over your head for the rest of your mortal life.

"Yes, sir." You decide to give him verbal confirmation as well. This way, you can avoid any potential lectures.

"Now, let's get down to business. While I was out on my last excursion. I found this piece of junk with my things. I thought I'd check if you wanted it before I destroyed it." He holds up the necklace. The pendant immediately catches your eye. It's one of the pictures from your book, the four-star wish orb. 

You nod, accepting the gift. You wrap the chain around your wrist, toying with the trinket. You've gotten pretty good at reading between the lines when it comes to your father. Saiyans aren't meant to express their emotions. You're raised to suppress them. Your father picks up on little things, like the fact that you're currently obsessed with wish orbs. You and Vegeta had to have gotten your conflicting behaviors from somewhere. And that somewhere was your father. The King of all Saiyans, the most ruthless of them all, deeply cared for his children.

He places his hands on your shoulders, causing you to look up at him. His eyes flicker with vulnerability as you stare at him. "Listen to me. Vegeta needs you just as much as you need him. You are capable of things that he isn't. And you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are my sole daughter, the pinnacle of Saiyan pride. Never forget where you came from."

"A-Are you alright? You're acting weird."

"I'm fine, Y/N. Now get to sleep. You have to be up early." He leans down, kissing the top of your head before exiting the room. This only elevates your confusion. Your father has never done that before. Physical affection is not something Saiyan's participate in. At least they aren't supposed to. 

Little did you know, this would be the last time you ever saw your father alive. Looking back on it, as an adult, his strange behavior makes sense. This was his way of saying goodbye. He must have had some inkling about Frieza's plans for your race.

You snap back into reality, shifting your gaze to Gohan. Typically when you spaced out, it would irritate your companions. Maybe it would even earn you a scolding from Vegeta. But the kid has just been sitting there, keenly anticipating your response.

"My father gave it to me." Your tone softens. Nostalgia sometimes does that to you. Gohan is the first person you've ever told the origin of your necklace. It wasn't necessarily a secret. You've just never felt the need to talk about it.

Some Final Notes:

"Wasn't he the king, though? Couldn't he have given you a diamond or gold necklace? Or something fit for royalty?"

"He could have. It was more about the sentiment behind the necklace." And with that, the silence returns. Being in this cave really reminds you of your pod. Scratch that it's worse. The brat is just too nice to the point where it's nauseating. For the half-breed's sake, you hope that Zarbon leaves soon. Because you're not sure how much more of this you'll be able to take.

-

Some Final Notes:

I know some of you might think King Vegeta was a bit out of character. However, I believe King Vegeta did care for his children to an extent. I know there’s some confusion in the fanbase about Tarble, whether he’s canon or not. But since the script for Yo! Son Goku and His Friends Return!!! was a concept created by Akira Toriyama. I personally believe Tarble is cannon. So King Vegeta banishing his son, rather than executing him, does show he had empathy for Tarble, even though he was viewed as a disgrace on his entire bloodline.

[princebugs]

A meeting with Niles.

Quivering digits rub and scratch at the back of his own neck, goosebumps rising as his eyes shift from corner to corner. He swallows, the nervous lump in his throat dissipating for only mere moments before quickly arising once more. His movements remain shaky, and shifty. He feels nervosa creeping up his spine leisurely, causing his hyperactivity to skyrocket. Remaining still is no easy task.

The male can almost discern a feeling of eyes on the back of his brunette tresses, watching him from the shadowed corner of the room. Perhaps a figure is awaiting the perfect time to pounce on the human and rip his throat out, at a pace fast enough that he wouldn't scream--- no one would hear his death. He whips his head in that direction, his heart pounding against his chest.

Cue a sigh of relief.

It's just dust. It's just dust, Gavin. Can't hurt you. Maybe fuck with your allergies a bit, but it won't hurt you. You're probably just crazy, like your uncle Kevin--- he still lives in that shed, right? Still talking about those damned 'creatures of the night', hiding in there with a shotgun with hopes that he'll be the one to kill 'em.

Maybe you'll be like that soon, if these delusions go any farther.

A sound of a doorknob clicking interrupts his thoughts and causes the male to jump in his seat, right forearm raising in a defensive manner before realizing that it was only his new therapist, clad in a black turtleneck and black pants.

When did he get here?

Gavin briefly takes a glance down at himself, and is just a slight bit pissed at himself for not dressing nicer.

If this was anything but a therapy session where Gavin would have to speak openly about his mental problems, he would have dressed better. He didn't see the point of wearing something appealing when it was just therapy, and his therapist was most likely going to be some old man or young female that he didn't need to impress.

Sadly for him, the male was definitely not an old man. He looked, roughly, around Gavin's age--- yet he had the sort of timeless face that could pass for a nineteen-year-old. The turtleneck's sleeves were pushed up to his elbows. Gavin usually considers turtlenecks "phckin' ugly" but this guy has changed the definition for him.

And he was overwhelmingly pale. Did he never go outside?

Lesson learned. Wear cute clothes EVERYWHERE.

“Mr. Reed?“ A voice brings Gavin out of his train of thought, and he notices that the male is no longer standing, and is, in fact, sitting right in the position ahead of him, with his head tilted in slight concern as well as confusion.

Dammit.

“Shit, ah,“ Gavin struggles to push away his thoughts for the time being, his nails scratching at the back of his neck as he awkwardly laughs half-heartedly. “Yeah, yeah. That's me, alright.“

The therapist merely emits a soft chuckle, though his mind seems to be elsewhere. He doesn't know for sure, but he thinks that he's making a mental note of some sort--- probably from his behavior. This feels almost like a job interview, and that makes Gavin straighten out his back and lock eye-contact with the male across from him, his cerulean optics now gazing into steel hues. This, however, prompts another brief snicker from him.

“This isn't a professional setting, Mr. Reed. You can sit however you see fit; it is better that you feel comfortable while we converse with one another.“

Gavin's brows furrow together in exiguous uncertainty--- this man spoke like he was reading from a college art essay. Though he said it wasn't professional, it almost felt like it was; like Gavin was being judged for every single movement he followed through with.

It was almost as if he was being ordered to feel more comfortable, which is the most awkward thing ever. It puts on pressure, and makes the situation even more uncomfortable. Nonetheless, Gavin leans back, slouching a modest amount whilst placing his elbows on the back of the couch he sat upon. He stared ahead with half-lidded eyes, and his therapist was studying his body language the entire time.

Gavin would consider this creepy, but it's alright because it's his therapist.

“I'm Dr. Anderson, but you can just refer to me as Niles,“ His therapist--Niles-- begins, his nimble fingers picking up a set of reading glasses and placing them on his visage for a few moments to seemingly read Gavin's file, then setting both the glasses and the file down on the table in front of him. “How about you tell me why you set this urgent appointment with me, hm?“

His voice was smooth, like velvet draped across pale skin. It brought chills down Gavin's back. Compared to how coarse and rough Gavin's voice was, Niles' voice was soothing.

Calm down, dude. This isn't a therapy session for questioning your sexuality. Reply to his question, fucknut!

“Yeah, sure, sure. Uh, where do I fuckin' start?“ Again, Gavin laughs to release some tension, and when the room is silent, he coughs. And continues. “Hah, erm... well, I've been having these weird delusions and feelings of someone watching me. Paranoia, or whatever. I can't sleep, either.“

The concept of therapy wasn't really Gavin's thing; the idea of sharing all of his thoughts with another person was just plain idiotic, in his opinion. He'd much rather keep his feelings to himself, but since his mother called him out of the blue and informed him that she had scheduled an appointment with an "experienced therapist with good reviews" (which sounded shady as hell) because she was worried.

Truth is, he couldn't blame her for being worried. He had shut himself in his apartment, and wasn't even going to work the majority of the time. And when he did go to work, he only got sent home because he continuously kept falling asleep at his desk. Probably because he doesn't feel the eyes on him as he sleeps at work.

“Interesting,“ Niles bobbed his cranium in confirmation, his weight now leaning back as he crosses his arms over one another. He always seems like he is analyzing Gavin in some way.

Weird as fuck.

“So, perhaps you could be having some sort of stalker, or PTSD from something happening to you in the pa--“

“No, no. It's not like that.“

Niles seems suddenly interested and more inclined to listen, his head once again now tilted to the side in curiosity as his brows raise upwards. “Oh?“

Gavin gulped--- the aura that this guy gave off was intimidating as hell, and it was difficult to trust him. “Yeah, like... if it was something like that, then wouldn't I feel some sort of recognition kind of thing? Stalkers are usually people that the person knows personally or knew personally, and PTSD... don't think that's applicable to this situation. I don't think it's that.“

“Elaborate.“

“If it was PTSD, then it wouldn't feel so... so...“ He struggled to search and find the correct vocabulary, the right words-- it was on the tip of his tongue. His eyebrows knit together in comprehension, irises looking down at the couch as he--

“Real?“

Niles' tone is almost demanding in generality; it causes Gavin to shudder and almost cower in fear. Momentarily, he remembers how stern his father's voice was, how it terrified him to his core. Fear can make anyone curl in on themselves.

Gavin nods his head, his grey-blue hues now gazing out the large-sized window located directly to his left, watching as doves fly away. “Y-- yeah. Real. I've experienced PTSD before, and it's nothing like that, at least not this time. It's inhuman, almost. Like... like someone, some thing is going to pounce on me at any second. I don't feel safe in my apartment by myself. Hah, I even had a little moment in here before you got here--- thought something was in the corner.“

His therapist only stares, bobbing his head every now and then as a way to show that he was listening. Though, it didn't seem like it. It was as if he already knew everything that Gavin was saying. He identifies a sudden feeling of recognition--- one that chills Gavin to his very core.

“I, uh--- have I met you before?“ The detective leans forward now, setting his elbows on his knees. He can feel the shadows under his eyes growing deeper-- is that normal? How long had it been since he had slept? Gavin's calloused phalanges weave through his brunette locks, then gripping them tightly. “God, I must be going crazy. Of course, I haven't seen you anywhere--- what am I thinking? Turnin' into Uncle Kev-- I've been seein' shit that just isn't there. It's probably just sleep deprivation, and this therapy session won't do anything, I'm just wastin' my ti--“

“Here, walk with me outside,“ His incoherent rambling is cut short by Niles' request.

Gavin's pate raises upwards, catching sight of the therapist's outstretched palm, reaching for him. Motioning for Gavin to take his hand. His eyes lock with Niles.

“Wowza! Hand-holding? At least take me out to dinner first, eh?“ Gavin internally slaps himself. Meanwhile, Niles just rolls his eyes. Not in an annoyed way--- in an amused manner. Phew, Gavin didn't scare away his therapist.

“Come on, you said that being in here made you have a little 'fit' as well, right? Perhaps being out instead of holed inside your apartment will make you feel better, in some fashion?“

Gavin ponders about his next move, though it didn't seem much like a request at this point. Niles just seemed like he was politely ordering him to go outside. Reluctantly, he places his tan-colored hand in Niles' pale palm, letting his hand envelop over Gavin's and pull him up to his feet abruptly.

---------------------------

They meandered around the perimeter of the building for several moments, neither of them uttering a single word the duration of their walk. Gavin wasn't particularly skilled at breaking the ice when it came to long periods of silence similar to this; he would usually make it worse, actually. Saying something that would be so unexpected that it catches the recipient off-guard, or something that just makes the air between them extremely awkward all of the sudden.

Eventually, Gavin can't stand it anymore. He coughs to clear his throat up, his hand clenching into a fist for him to cough into for a few moments before scratching at the back of his neck again, and again.

“So, like, you have any family around this area, or are you new to Detroit?“

Greaaat question, Gavin. What if he has no family, and you just brought up shitty memories? GOOD GOIN', PRICK.

Niles hums. “I am relatively new here, but my brother lives here with me. You probably saw him whilst walking around the building, yes? Shorter than me, brown eyes?“

Gavin recalls seeing someone who fit that description. “Yeah, that's your brother?“

“Indeed, he is. He's... a little brat sometimes, prefers to do his own thing, but he's still family. We had to move rather abruptly due to some... sudden consequences of our actions, I suppose. Nothing for you to worry about.“

That bewildered Gavin, but he decided not to press further.

Luckily, Niles kept the conversation going. If the silence began once more, Gavin thought he could die.

“You mentioned an uncle earlier?“

Right, during his ramble.

“Yeah, hahah--- Uncle Kevin. He's like, the weird family member, y'know? The one who lives in a shed with a shotgun--- claiming that he'll prevent the apocalypse by killing the bloodsuckers, or something like that,“ Gavin laughs at this, yet Niles is silent.

“How peculiar. Bloodsuckers, you say?“ Niles inclines his head towards Gavin, his arms remaining behind his back as he walked. “What do you think of that?“

Gavin's face scrunches up, emitting a confused noise before sighing softly, remembering that this was a therapy session after all. “I dunno, man. Frankly, I think the idea of vampires existing is stupid as fuck, actually. Like, wasn't it just a myth, or fairytale? Or something like that. Nonetheless, it's hella dumb, and I don't believe in it one bit. If I ever saw a vampire in front of my face, I'd probably call it ugly and scream.“

Niles does laugh at this. “Be careful about what you say, Mr. Reed, you never know who, or what, might be listening.“

The way he said this caused shivers to go down Gavin's back. He sneered at Niles, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and emitting a disgruntled huff. “Don't even joke about that shit, man. I mean, I may find it funny, but the way you say that shit just makes me feel hella uneasy.“

“What if I told you that you should be feeling uneasy right now, Gavin?“ Niles' tone is almost playful, like a cat playing with its prey before chomping down on it.

Gavin just emits a confused noise in return. “Huh?“ He should be feeling uneasy? Why is that such a... weird statement to make?

“I'm just messing with you-- a mere jest. Everyone feels uneasy with their new therapist; that's a sign that you're normal, Gavin.“

Exhaling a soft suspire of relief. “See, when you're all serious like that all the time, I can't even tell the difference between the real seriousness and the fake. That's what makes me feel uneasy.“

“That's how life really is, though. No one can distinguish reality from dream, but we believe that we can. How sure are you right now that you are in reality? At this exact moment, do you know if I am real, or a figment of your imagination?“ The taller male stops in his tracks, and Gavin struggles to stammer out his reply.

Gavin turns his head to Niles.

“I-- I'm totally freaked right now, dude. You're gettin' all... weird. How the fuck did we go from talkin' about vampires to--- this??“

“Gavin. Keep your windows unlocked at night, okay? It's extremely difficult for someone to break a window in a quiet manner. And it just becomes a hassle to clean up later on...“

What the fuck?

Gavin has no time to respond, Niles speeds up and just walks away with a mere wink and a smirk with relatively sharp canine teeth for a human. Remarkably, Niles had no shadow. Weird, weird, weird. Everything about Niles was weird and unexplainable.

Gavin is left on the pavement outside the building with no one around him, awkwardly standing there. He didn't know where to go. Should he follow Niles? No, no--- Gavin didn't want to be around him anymore.

He must look pathetic, wanting to run away and cry to his mother about what had just occurred--- but he'll do it nonetheless.

There was only one thing that Gavin knew from his first and last encounter with his therapist.

He's locking the windows.

---------------------------------------

ALSO POSTED ON AO3:

[teamdrake27]

Home "Open Heart" "Choices Fanfic".

Pairing: Ethan x MC.

Author's note: It's been a while since the last time I wrote a fanfiction. I hope I did okay. English is not my mother's language so forgive me if there's some mistakes. 😇💜

- Kate leans closer to him, so close that their lips are almost touching but then she suddenly stops, leaving only an inch between their lips. Ethan breathes in sharply. Every wall he built falling as he aches to taste those lips again.

"How long are you going to resist, Ethan?" He feels a burn inside his chest as he hears his name on her lips for the first time since Miami. He was burning with desire. 

"Come on...kiss me!" She said seductively. 

He was struggling, so much struggling. He wanted this and he knew that he doesn't have that much self control around her to stop himself. 

Just when he leaned to kiss her-

"You're drooling on the documents, Ethan!". 

"Huh?!" 

He jolts awake to find Harper standing infront of him, hands on her hips as she watched him sleep and drool over the documents. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand then rubs his tired eyes in exhaustion. 

"How many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn't work that long?! Look at you! You'll die alone on that chair of yours!". The mention of death reminds him of the condition of his only family, Naveen. He frowns. 

"Thank you for waking me up, Harper" He says putting on his sweater. Even though you interrupted such an amazing dream. 

"Seriously?! That's all you have to say?" She says clearly annoyed. 

"I'm not in the mood for your life facts and lectures, Harper. I'm happy with how I'm living. I'll see you tomorrow" He says as he walks past her outside the office. She sighs frustrated as she walks out of the office to allow him to lock it. 

"Keep telling yourself that, Ethan" She said before leaving him to lock the door. He knew that it was a lie, though he never shows his true feelings and emotions to anyone in this world except two people. Dr. Banerji and Kate. It's probably the hardest days of his entire life. He lost his friend a few weeks ago and now he is losing his only family, Naveen. Not to mention his strong feelings for the new intern that are torturing him day and night, even when he is sleeping. He can't rest at all. He hasn't felt that exhausted in his entire life. But despite all the exhaustion he decided to check on Dr. Banerji before he leaves. Not that exhaustion stopped him before.

Just when he reached the room. He realized that Naveen isn't alone. She was there covering him with the blanket. Tears falling down her cheeks as she stared at the old man lying on his death bed. 

He never saw her crying before. It pained his heart. He knew that she cared deeply for people even when she didn't know them for that long, but her crying was a whole new level. But then he remembered. This is the first time she may lose a patient. Though deep down he hoped not. I won't lose him! 

As soon as she realized someone's watching her, she wiped her tears quickly, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat before she walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her. 

"Are you okay?" He asked concerned. 

"Yeah, it's just...he is a really good man, he doesn't deserve this..." she broke down at the end of the sentence as tears rolled down her cheeks. 

"We'll find a way, Kate. Don't give up!" he couldn't help but wrap her in his arms. She needs this, he needs this. Seeing her reacting like that makes him feel weak. She was his rock since the beginning of this. She was the only one who let him believe that this isn't the end. That there's hope. But now he felt like the end is near. She clinched his shirt tightly as she rubbed her face in his chest. He tightens his arms around her as he smells her perfume aroma. This smell. He hadn't smelled it that close and deep since that night in Miami. It sent chills down his spine. He didn't want to ever let go...but he has to...

After a while, they pull away at the same time. He clears his throat adjusting his coat. 

"I know that there's still hope but I just couldn't help it when I saw him...now that I got to know him..." She said avoiding eye contact with him. She felt embarrassed, she doesn't like to cry infront of anyone. No matter what happens to her, she always waited till she was alone to let it all out. Crying always always made her feel like she is so vulnerable infront of people. But then Ethan isn't just any people. She always felt comfortable around him despite his sarcastic remarks. He seemed to understand her more than anyone. And she needed him. 

"It's quite alright, Rookie. We're all human and have our moments of weakness. It's pretty normal" And with that she no longer felt embarrassed. He understands her and knows what to say exactly. 

He felt really happy that she felt comfortable enough to let it all out infront of him. It means a lot to him considering the fact that she always smiles infront of people even when she is hurting from inside. He was good at reading people and that always came in handy for him. He gave her a tired smile before squeezing her shoulder gently. 

They made their way together to the exit as they walked side by side. 

"So...why did you stay that long? It's 2 am!" He asked concerned. 

"I could ask you the same question" She said side glancing at him.

"I was working and I fell asleep!" He admitted blushing slightly. 

"Oh! So you do sleep!" She said amused. 

He rolled his eyes "Yes, Rookie. I'm human not a machine". 

They exited the hospital.

She chuckled "I know, it's just...whenever I come to the hospital, I find you working. No matter what time it is".

"Yeah, I have been overworking myself for the last few months and you know why more than anyone..." He said the last sentence almost as a whisper. 

"I do. But 'you can't save people if you don't take care of yourself'" she said using his words against him. 

He chuckles "You're impossible, Rookie!" He said smiling to himself. No matter in which state he is, she always manages to make him smile and feel better. He never understood how she did it, though that was a part of who she is, and he loved every part of her. 

"I think it's better if I drive today" She said walking to the driver's seat of his car.

"And why is that? What makes you think I'll allow you to drive my car?" He said raising an eyebrow at her.

"You're tired that you may fall asleep while driving so yeah and I'm not asking by the way, Dr. Ramsey!" She said opening the door and getting in the car. 

He shook his head at her as a smirk made its way to his lips. 

"I'm tired, not drunk, Rookie!" He exclaimed but got in the passenger's seat anyway. He knew arguing with her is useless, she is so stubborn. Not to mention, he doesn't have enough power to protest.

He loves this bossy side of her. Everyone who came to Edenbrook always was afraid of him. But she seemed to see everyone for who they really are and he was glad that she did because if she didn't, he wouldn't have gotten the chance to know this amazing woman and spend time with her. She was never afraid of him. He felt like a normal human being around her, which made him feel really comfortable to open up to someone other than Naveen. It was unusual and refreshing. He smiled at the thought. 

The whole ride they sat in silence. Electrified silence that is. Them being alone in a small space always worked them up. Just like when they hid in the supply closet.

When she finally reached his home. Just two minutes walk away from hers, she turned to find him already asleep. He looked so peaceful. Vulnerable. Like a little baby. She got to stare at his face and recognize his features this close for the first time and it was like she is seeing him for the first time. He is so beautiful. She thought to herself. He looked so peaceful that it ached her knowing that she has to wake him up. She reached up and brushed the hair off his forehead gently. She wanted to touch his face so badly and she couldn't help herself as she stroked his cheek gently.

"Ethan?" She said softly. He hummed before he half opened his beautiful deep blue eyes tiredly.

"Wha- what happened?" He said jolted awake when he realized she saw him sleeping. At least I'm not drooling again. He thought to himself.

"You fell asleep" She said softly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Perhaps you driving was a thoughtful idea" He said smirking slightly. 

She laughed causing the sides of his lips to quiver farther "You might be my boss in the hospital, Dr. Ramsey. But I'm your boss outside of it" she stopped smiling when she realized what she just said. 

"Damn right, you are..." he said in a whisper. They locked eyes and his eyes looked so intense. It was like it takes every single bit of his power not to reach out and touch her. 

She couldn't breath as her heart started beating fast.

"Ethan..." She said softly, leaning a little forward.

He knew in that moment if he allowed himself to give in to temptation, he will not be able to stop himself this time. So he had to hurt her. He clears his throat causing her to look down as her cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

He got out of the car and she followed suit. Their eyes met again as they stood infront of his door awkwardly. She would be mad at him if she didn't see how much he is struggling with pain through his eyes. He is hurting as much as she is.

She smiled sadly at him "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then".

She stepped closer to him, dangerously close that it made his heart beat so fast. Is his dream in the office is becoming reality?

She leaned forward slowly and pecked him softly on the cheek, causing his face to move slightly in her direction.

"Good night, Ethan..." She said softly before she started making her way down the street to her home. Though it didn't feel like she is going home, it felt like leaving it. 

[theangrypokemaniac]

@its-whitetomorrow

I appreciate that you take the time out of your day to read my witterings, and respond to them in detail, but I'm somewhat intellectually limited and it takes a while to write an answer.

The final one is a bit of a problem. The original post is long, your bit is long, and my addition is probably twice both put together.

Did you know Tumblr has a limit: no more than two hundred and fifty text blocks per post? I discovered this from experience, unsurprisingly.

I think the only solution is to split it across several posts.

I wasn't going to say anything, but I suppose I should.

I started this blog last May, to relieve the boredom of my main embarrassment, whose only likes (all three of them) were from porn bots.

It wasn't even meant to be about Pokémon. I'd left the fandom years previously. It was odds and ends, but I happened to find a few silly screen shots so wrote a couple of joke remarks, not expecting a ripple of interest.

Within a couple of hours I got more notes than t'other's managed even to this day. I had the idea this was where I was more at home, so I started taking it seriously.

My pseudonym was just daft thing I'd made up previously, to reflect that, whilst still in love with old days, I'm not exactly pleased with how it's gone.

I thought it might stand out as memorable, plus I like acronyms, so it affords me the opportunity to call myself 'T.A.P.'

In the early days the focus was on the 'maniac' aspect. Anger as a description didn't fit at all. The farther back you go, the more stupid and clownish it gets. It's not been like this all the way through!

Seriously, it used to be an entertainment blog, designed to make people laugh. It's all ages: no swearing, no porn, nothing to put anyone off.

(This post under discussion contains the only profanity I've ever deployed. I thought saving it up might add some oomph.)

I mean it, it's was all light-hearted ridicule. Every so often, there would be a slightly cutting remark, but mild compared to now.

Then, last September, someone I spoke to regularly, who assured me we were friends, suddenly cut off all contact.

At first I wasn't aware of it, but by October it became too glaring a silence to ignore.

I thought rifts started because of massive disagreements, but as far as I remembered our last exchange ended normally.

I found out by accident that the reason for it was because I am repugnant and morally inferior and so swollen with my own ego that the existence of others doesn't register. Instead they are but soulless droids built to worship the great T.A.P. mollusc.

Well that was news to me. I had no idea I came across like that. As far as I knew, I was on my best behaviour when we interacted.

I was polite. I tried to be ingratiate myself. I kept talk to the fandom. I didn't pry. I attempted humour when the opportunity arose.

I thought I'd done all I could to be liked, but apparently I hadn't. It was a revolting experience for them, for all of saying they loved me and I was 'honey'.

It really, really, really got to me, and the feeling hasn't abated, if anything it's worse.

As I said, I don't know what I did wrong, and because I don't, I can't mend my ways. If I am this repellant waste of flesh I'd like to change, but if I'm not told my offence, what am I meant to do?

If what I thought was the best I could be wasn't good enough, and instead was so sickening I don't deserve their presence, then I have no idea how to interact with people.

Maybe every time I respond to someone, thinking I'm at worst, civil, is really grotesque conceit, because my arrogance is so extreme I'm not even aware it's there. In my head it sounds normal.

It'd be too easy to scoff that they were the one with the problem, but, given all the arguments that happen in life, it can't always be someone else's fault. It's got to be you at least once.

They obviously think they were justified, so who's to say they weren't?

You may say not to let it worry me, that I should just get over it, and you'd be totally right. Being bothered makes me feel pathetic and petty on top of the rest, but this is me you're talking to, not a sane person. Self-hatred is more instinctive to me than breathing.

I always dwell on the negative. If one hundred people were assembled, ninety-nine of whom declared me the most wonderful being ever to live, and one remarked I wasn't all that special, it's him I'd remember. 

It's called ghosting because that's what happens. There comes a moment when you accept that, no, it's over, rejected again, and it's like realising I'd died, and had been gone for a while.

Except I hadn't noticed the process, so I was always dead in a way, and they spoke to the silvery silhouette left behind, until that too dispersed into untraceable nothingness. Again,  the silence is my fault for dying, not theirs.

I feel there's no point in messaging anyone, because I'll only disgust them too. Some blogs encourage contact, and when I see it I always think:

Yeah, but they don't mean YOU.

If it's another person I already spoke to, I can't shut up. I bombard them with text in the hope they know I don't think they're a menial droid. Every one I immediately regret, and wish I could take back, because that will irritate them until I'm just a sad, nagging past.

The Ghost-Maker used to reblog 99% of my work. This dropped to nothing overnight, so not only am I worthless, but so is everything I do.

Posts G.M. didn't like got 0-5 notes. Ones they did had 20+. Many a time, it took their reblog for anyone else to notice.

It was like others used that blog as a filter to pull the fool's gold from the murk of this one. Once their favour evaporated, so did a lot of the goodwill from elsewhere, so it's was as if Tumblr agreed I was scum.

Saying that above just shows they were right, because it takes one smug bastard to believe their existence registers with anyone else.

Please don't think I'm demanding likes, that my stuff deserves them, although as I'm arrogant I am. It's just that 99% to 0% is a bit of a fall.

Up til then, I held back much of what I thought about the current state of the anime, as they liked it, but now I have no reason to stop.

If I'm to be accused of all these vices I might as well have them. I'm dead, so who cares what I say? No one listens to a ghost.

It's not that I'm unconcerned if I upset anyone, it's just the truth that I don't matter enough for what I write to be valued enough to offend.

As a ghost, I think of this blog as invisible. It's there, but not really, so how can anyone mind?

Incidentally, the first week I was here I got blocked by someone who hates all fans from the Nineties. I don't care about that, as they sound like a cretin, and I'd have to be defective to gain their approval.

I just want to say I find that moronic. I don't hate new fans at all. I wouldn't block someone because we disagreed.

Blocking denies people access to your blog, stating they don't deserve your ART. That's arrogant to me.

Blocker likes Ghost-Maker, but...

Ever since around October, I've progressively become angrier and angrier. Whenever I'm here or Pokémon enters my head, it just reminds that I'm pond slime, about the most crude, malformed half-life freak you can envision.

I don't like being here anymore. I keep intending to leave, the site and the fandom, and set fire to it all before I go, wipe away the slug trail to spare people's stomachs.

I kept quiet until now, but holding it in just made it more intense. If I may describe myself in ridiculously flattering terms, I feel like a shaken champagne bottle, but the cork is welded in, so the only option is for the glass to shatter.

If anyone's reading this, wondering where the fun went, well this is why I flipped. The red mist won't clear. I can't see beyond it.

I won't name Ghost-Maker, because I don't want to start anything, plus most will take their side. They may see this as they still rifle round these parts occasionally for posts that aren't mine.

Well done, Ghostie. You're the lucky one. We'll never meet and you haven't seen me. Pity the poor sods I've encountered. There must be vomit trails across the land provoked by my vile condition. I wasn't aware of this until you let me in on the secret.

There's an English television presenter called Caroline Flack. She killed herself yesterday and everyone loved her. I feel guilty that I'm alive and she's not.

[redrose-arrow]

Dear Alyss // Birthday special

HEY GUYS GUESS WHO TURNED SIXTEEN TODAY??? THAT'S RIGHT, Y'ALL'S FAVOURITE (JK) RIGHT HERE !!!!

Honestly, I wasn't that excited about my birthday but I figured that it's still a special day, I mean, you don't turn sixteen every day! And besides, in books, turning 'Sweet Sixteen' is quite a big deal ;). Anyways, since it's my birthday, I decided to treat you all with a new special! This one's a bit sad, but I'm really happy with the outcome so I hope you guys will be too :) Please let me know!

(I’m one my phone so I can’t add the “keep reading” this I’m sorry)

>>>—————>

Dear Alyss,

It's been years since you left. And I still think of you every day. It's the smallest things that remind me of the life we used to share. A life so full of passion, care, and love. I know that you will never read this, or even receive. Heck, we both know I won't even send this letter. I'll just roll it up and hide it with all the others.

I do think this will be the last letter for a while. I don't need writing to you as much as I did before. In the beginning, writing these letters was simply a way to cope with the emptiness that you have left behind. It would feel good, letting my thoughts onto the paper, telling you what you would've been here to witness if it had never happened. It felt good telling you about Maddie (who is doing great by the way. She's getting real good with the bow, and her thinking is incredible. I'm thinking about having her sent on a small solo mission, just to see if she's up to it. You'd be proud of her if you were here.).

The thing is, I have sent you dozens of letters over the months, but I never actually told you how I felt about you before the incident.

As you know, I never been much good at talking. Whenever I try to express the emotions whirling in my soul, my throat tightens, blocking me from saying anything. I never got much farther than a "I love you" or "thank you". I never explained to you what you really meant to me. And now I guess it's too late.

However, with this being the last letter for a while, this is also my last chance to tell you how I really feel. I realise that now, I am aware of it as much as I was ignorant as to what was going to happen the last time we saw each other. It's probably going to sound very cliche but then again, you won't read this anyhow.

So, here goes nothing.

You always stood by my side, quietly and loudly, supporting me through all I had to go through. Though I didn't at the time, I later realised that you have always been more than just a best friend to me. I could tell you things easily and you just listened. You always made me laugh.

After Halt took me as his apprentice I thought I had my life figured out, but I didn't. Without my knowing, from the moment I first saw you real love had begun to take shape in my heart. I only truly realised it when I saw you in that tower in Macindaw. You knew I was there, but you weren't yourself, and I looked at you then and realised that I loved you. Because you cared. Love radiated in your heart spilling out into the lives of all those around you. You weren't just pretty on the outside, no, you had a whole new level of beauty somewhere deep within.

Life without you has been real hard. Harder than I had ever expected it to be. But, I'll find a way, just like I did before. Only this time you won't be here to help.

So, in the end, I guess it just comes back to the same thing. I want to thank you, you know. I mean, I wouldn't know where I'd be now if it weren't for you and frankly, I don't even want to know. You've saved me, over and over again. And I never got to save you.

You know, Alyss, I'm not over you, I don't think I'll ever be. But I did find a way to cope with the pain, and until we meet again, that's all I can ask from whoever is up above and in charge.

Please note that I have always loved you, and that I always will.

Love, Will