#Do Not Fold Spindle Or Mutilate

[splatteronmywalls]

[chronivore]

Now Watching:

Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate

Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate (TV Movie 1971)

[vashtijoy]

I wonder if Akechi just kind of...appeared in Shibuya or if he just woke up in his room as if nothing happened after what Maruki did? Does Akechi only remember that one part of Shido's Palace because he doesnt seem to remember surviving and now instead of checking into the refuge place, Akechi is placed on Christmas Eve to just turn himself in and prevent The Protagonists arrest thereby no one needs to testify in the later part of the game which is what he was arriving to do in the true ending of the game, maybe? Sorry I was just checking if Im getting this correctly because its a bit complicated., Can you clarify just what exactly does Akechi remember if anything besides that one moment in the engine room moment?.

Hi! The answer is that it's hard to tell. I don't think he has memories missing from further back in his past at all—he never mentions anything like that, and it would have a massive impact on his functioning.

And as for "after I fought you", that could mean quite a bit. We know Akechi remembers making their deal at the end, because he refers back to it on 1/2. We know he doesn't remember dying, because per 2/2 he has to deduce that for himself; I think he only commits to that conclusion after seeing Wakaba.

"until I met Ren again" suggests to me that Akechi legit blinked, found himself in Station Square listening to Sae pressure Ren into going to juvie, and stepped forward. Which kind of accounts for how odd he seems—he's in perfect detective prince mode. Sure, that's likely because Sae is there—you can see him going Detective Prince here and there in the third semester still, because his unfriendly thirdsem face is only for those in on the act!

But it might also be because he's confused; because he doesn't know how he got there, or what's going on. He's left with only his instincts—the mask which is so much part of him, that has served him so well, and the last act of his life: to pay his debts, to face up to what he's done, and to save Ren.

As for those "unclear memories" we uncovered before? Perhaps he has glimpses of memory here and there, but they don't make sense. Perhaps he remembers things and they're gone the next second. Perhaps he sees the whole truth at times, maybe in his dreams, but the pieces fall apart in his hands. Memory loss is a horror, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

And why is he in Shibuya? He's there IMO because Maruki has put him at Ren's side. Like, why wouldn't he? Ren desperately misses his dead friend! Maruki will bring him back and bring them together, and all will be well as they go into the sunset hand in hand. It's not his last miscalculation regarding Goro Akechi.

I don't think Akechi is returning to testify on 3/20. Ren has, after all, long ago been released from detention at this point—that came off in mid-February. Per Sae on 2/13, Ren has been cleared of all charges; even his original assault charge has been overturned. If Akechi was going to return to Tokyo and testify, I think he would have done that before Ren's release, somewhere around 2/10 to 2/12. This of course does not correspond to the dates in the event script, but then it is first draft, and likely written for a very different version of the third semester.

Or maybe Akechi's mysterious favour is something completely different. But what? Maybe he only tells Sae he intends to confess, and reports for a scheduled arrest on 3/20—but back in February, that wouldn't get Ren cleared of shit. The truth is that I really don't think Akechi's 3/20 appearance is linked to Ren's release. Those two guys he's with are just too similar to the ones stalking the PTs in their car. Akechi is part of that plot somehow, or I miss my guess.

[cinnabarts]

as long as you don't derez me in the morning

[citizenscreen]

Myrna Loy, Helen Hayes, Mildred Natwick, and Sylvia Sidney in DO NOT FOLD, SPINDLE OR MUTILATE, 1971 made-for-television movie directed by Ted Post.

[power-chords]

The first place that “do not fold, spindle or mutilate” was taken off the punch card and unpacked in all its metaphorical glory was the student protests at the University of California-Berkeley in the mid-1960s, what became known as the “Free Speech Movement.” The University of California administration used punch cards for class registration. Berkeley protestors used punch cards as a metaphor, both as a symbol of the “system” — first the registration system and then bureaucratic systems more generally — and as a symbol of alienation.

[…]

Because the punch card symbolically represented the power of the university, it made a suitable point of attack. Some students used the punch cards in subversive ways. An underground newspaper reported:

Some ingenious people (where did they get this arcane knowledge? Isn’t this part of the Mysteries belonging to Administration?) got hold of a number of blank IBM cards, and gimmicked the card-puncher till it spoke no mechanical language, but with its little slots wrote on the cards simple letters: “FSM”, “STRIKE” and so on. A symbol, maybe: the rebels are better at making the machine talk sense than its owners. (“Letter from Berkeley” 12; Draper 113)

Students wore these punch cards like name tags. They were thought sufficiently important symbols of the Free Speech Movement that they were used as illustrations on the album cover of the record that the Movement issued.

Another form of technological subversion was for students to punch their own cards, and slip them in along with the official ones: Some joker among the campus eggheads fed a string of obscenities into one of Cal’s biggest and best computers — with the result that the lists of new students in various classes just can NOT be read in mixed company. (Berlandt, “IBM Enrolls” 1)

These pranks were the subversion of the technician. The students were indicating their ability to control the machines, and thus, symbolically, the machinery of the university. But it also indicates, like the students’ and administrations’ shared use of the machine metaphor, something of the degree of convergence of student and administration beliefs and methods. This sort of metaphorical technical subversion rarely rises above the level of prank.

Perhaps more radical, or at least with less confused symbolism, were students who destroyed punch cards in symbolic protest: the punch cards that the university used for class registration stood for all that was wrong with the university, and by extension, America. Students at Berkeley and other University of California branches burned their registration punch cards in anti-University protests just as they burned draft cards in anti-Vietnam protests.

—Steven Lubar, “Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate”: A Cultural History of the Punch Card

[cellarspider]

4/30 Meeting the Prometheus crew. Hmm.

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⛬

We return to the movie that I want to fold, spindle, and mutilate, Prometheus.

Time to actually meet the human crew.

Hooboy. I am feeling David’s dead-eyed look here. Content warning for jumpscare Charlize Theron, brief mention of vomit, depiction of smoking, and whatever the hell is going on with these people.

First off, there is Vickers (Charlize Theron). Her reveal implies that she has escaped containment, and is probably scuttling around in the vents somewhere. No, in fact, she is doing pushups. She asks David if anyone’s died with all the concern of an inconvenienced accountant,  because she is a Cold Corpo Queen who is going to be an asshole to everyone throughout the movie.

This includes David, who, again, may be meeting his makers for the first time here.

On the other hand, this has more dignity to it than the rest of the crew. They’re currently stumbling around and horfing up their two-year-old lunches, a grand tradition in the Alien franchise.

Charming.

Indeed, this is basically a recitation of a scene from Alien and Aliens: Everyone wakes up and feels like crap, except for a machine-like character and, in Aliens, a Black military dude, Sergeant Apone (Al Matthews), who wakes up and immediately chomps down on a cigar.

On an unrelated note, meet Captain Janek (Idris Elba). He’s smoking a cigarillo and setting up a Christmas tree on the ship’s pool table, while a nameless white guy appears to have ragdolled in the corner. Vickers disapproves.

We meet the last two crew members who are going to have enough of a presence in the plot to get names: Millburn (Rafe Spall) and Fifield (Sean Harris). Millburn is an awkward glasses-wearing dork of a biologist. So far, so realistic.

Fifield appears to be attempting to channel Sheamus the wrestler during a heel-y season. He isn’t here to make friends, he’s here to get paid. He’s here to win.

He’s a fucking geologist.

Sure, there’s a lot of geologists who work for extractive industries that probably are just there for the paycheck, but I don’t know how one of them ends up being selected for a mission of POTENTIAL FIRST CONTACT WITH AN ALIEN CULTURE.

This was absolutely baffling in the theater. What in the hell was this scene? This character? It felt so out of place. Little did I know that this was, in fact, setting expectations for the rest of the movie.

The human characters are not treated in the same way David is. We are not often invited to consider them as beings with inner lives, they are stock characters that you may or may not have previous affection for. And because we functionally meet David first, their presence is jarring.

Because these aren’t just stock characters from just any genre, they’re stock characters from a horror movie. Several different kinds of horror movie, with one bonus character trait if they're lucky. Elizabeth Shaw is the final girl (plus religious background), Charlie Holloway is the jock boyfriend (plus allegedly scientist), Millburn is the nervous, glasses-wearing nerd. Fifield the geologist is, bafflingly, the mercenary who’s Just There For The Money (plus rocks), Vickers is the heartless corpo, and Idris Elba is the calm and unflustered military guy. The rest of the characters, regardless of their role, are therefore consigned to being nameless dead meat.

This didn’t have to be the case. A different vibe could’ve been chosen. The marketing tied this movie to Alien. You’re introduced to everyone in that movie through the lens of their average, unremarkable jobs (in spaaaaace!), and you understand how the situation they find themselves in is completely, terrifyingly overwhelming. 

These are scientists and highly skilled professionals (in spaaaaace!). We have successful horror films out there, where scientists are placed beyond their limits. This used to be a whole thing in the 50s, where Serious Men of Science were sometimes the first and last line of defense against extremely rubbery aliens. Was it mostly goofy? Absolutely. But not always!

(First, the goofy: Night of the Blood Beast (1958), best known in latter days as MST3K’s Season 7 premiere (1995). The trailer features the amazing voiceover “The first satellite creature to impregnate man with its chromosomes!”, as heavy breathing plays in the background. “It’s true,” says a square-jawed white guy, “I can feel it inside!”.)

(Second, the straight: The Thing from Another World, precursor to John Carpenter’s The Thing. While just a standard monster movie, it features one of the first and honestly ridiculous full-body fire stunts on film. They repeatedly doused stuntmen in buckets of flaming kerosine.)

These have slowly died off in Hollywood, but there’s still some that pop up every so often: Contagion (2011) being the one that first comes to mind. Sunshine (2007) and Annihilation (2018) are another two that take a similar, slow tactic, all three of them containing horror elements in their premise and execution.

(major content warning on this first one for pandemic themes. Like, all of them.)

(cw for brief body horror, old self harm scars)

This was what I’d expected from the premise of the first five minutes: a well-prepared team, traveling to confront something with existential implications for humanity, taking the job seriously. The movie disabused me of that quickly, but it didn’t provide me anything as compelling in return.

If I had to guess what other movie Prometheus was trying to be like, The Thing (1982) is a strong candidate. It features a cast of dysfunctional people who are similarly broad in their characterization, and pits them against a source of alien body horror with existential implications for all of humanity. Unfortunately for Prometheus, it can’t live up to The Thing either. However, what it did manage to do was drive me COMPLETELY insane, starting in the next segment.

⛬

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[love-and-hisses]

This was originally written (and posted in the blog) in 2009. It's a perennial favorite.

Finished your Christmas shopping yet? Are you STUMPED trying to come up with the perfect gift for one of those hard to buy for relatives or friends? Do you kinda wanna punch them in the nose when they shrug and say “Oh, just get me any ol’ thing!”?

LOOK NO FURTHER.

In these cold and gray days of winter, all anyone wants to do is bundle up in front of the fire and not move ’til Spring, am I right?

But unfortunately, there are things like “jobs” that are even more unfortunately not located near fires where you can bundle up and keep warm.

What is a cold person to do? What oh what?

I HAVE THE SOLUTION FOR YOU!

The ACME Portable FURnace is here to save the day! You just take this super-warm little ball of fluff, put it on your shoulder, and although it has a head that is stuffed with marshmallow fluff, it SENSES where the warmth is needed the most, and it will settle there!

NO difficult and messy settings, no annoying electric cords! You put the ACME Portable FURnace on, and forget it’s there!

You can place it on your shoulder for easy kissing access, or you can place it on the back of your neck for maximum warmth! A little rub between the FURnace’s shoulder blades turns on the vibrating massage function!

You’re taking phone calls! You’re filling out reports! You’re even attending meetings! AND NO ONE KNOWS IT’S THERE, KEEPING YOU WARM! If you weren’t so toasty and warm, you’d hardly know it was there yourself! It runs so smoothly it purrs!

SET IT AND FORGET IT!

The ACME Portable FURnace recharges itself AS YOU USE IT! Give it a bowl of food and some water, empty it occasionally in the nearest litter box, let it stretch its legs while YOU sleep, and it’s ready to go again the next morning!

OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY!

Call 1-800-FLUF-HED and place your order today! Act now, and for a short time only, you can get TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! One can keep you warm while the other one is off whining about how hungry it is despite the fact that it JUST ATE!

Don’t delay! Order now for Christmas delivery!

Disclaimer: ACME Portable FURnaces are guaranteed to be as adorable as the one pictured above, but may not be as well-behaved; some FURnaces occasionally emit fountains of vomit down your back with no warning and for no particular reason; FURnaces are sometimes known to walk through their own feces and track it all over the place, leading one to sniff and say “Does it smell like butt in here to you?; FURnaces need to have their claws trimmed regularly or may shred your clothing in an attempt to keep their claws sharp; wearing loose clothing is unadvised, as the FURnace may take it as an invitation to go exploring and then pop its head out the front of your shirt to see what’s going on; FURnaces may regard hair as an attractive snack; FURnaces sometimes sneeze and get snot all over the nearest surface (which could be the back of your head); FURnaces will sometimes develop the habit of sitting an inch from your face in the middle of the night and howling ��MAO? MAO? MAO?” until your brains leak out your ears; FURnaces are self-cleaning and may interrupt important meetings making smacking noises as they loudly clean their nether regions; though self-cleaning, FURnaces might need the occasional bath (see above regarding walking through their own feces) – use gentle shampoo and the warmest and fluffiest of towels when bathing the FURnace; do not shake the FURnace; do not let the FURnace get cold; speak kindly and gently to the FURnace; do not yell or scream at, shake, fold, spindle or mutilate the FURnace.

[dozydawn]

Myrna Loy, Sylvia Sidney, Helen Hayes, and Mildred Natwick in Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate (1971)

[thesobsister]

An absolute tell for a Boomer: familiarity with the phrase “Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.”

[annoyangle]

NEWS FLASH!

I BET YOU GUYS REALLY THOUGHT THERE WAS A WHOLE PERSON NAMED "STANLEY PINES" HA! GULLIBLE. HOW EXACTLY DO """"IDENTICAL TWINS"""" COME OUT WITH ONLY ONE OF THE SUPPOSED """TWINS""" HAVING A GENETIC DEFORMITY AGAIN? HMMMMMMM. HOW EXACTLY DID "STANLEY PINES" KNOW HOW TO MANIPULATE THE MINDSCAPE ALREADY WHEN THAT NERDY KID FELL INTO IT? HMMMMMMMMMM. IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE TITLE SEQUENCE?! YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT UNRELIABLE NARRATORS? STAN PINES IS NOT WHAT HE SEEMS. MEMORIES CAN BE INVENTED. HECK, THEY CAN EVEN BE FULLY TRANSFORMED, FOLDED, SPINDLED AND MUTILATED! I'M JUST SAYING THE WHOLE THING IS A LITTLE BIT SUSPICIOUS AND A HECK OF A LOT LIKE THE REAL CON JOB WAS PULLED ON YOU - THE AUDIENCE!

[darknessdrops]

do not fold, spindle, or mutilate

[the12thnightproject]

💎Shine bright like a diamond and share a WIP for WIP Wednesday 💎

Thank you for asking, Anon!

I'm noodling a one-shot that takes place in the Tempest in Time universe (Timeline A)...

“Did that man just dive off the castle wall when he saw me?” My very-pregnant-but-unfortunately-not-due-for-another-very-long-seven-weeks-friend stopped in the middle of Kasugayama’s training grounds and gazed around at where several of Shingen’s Akazonae were instantly recalling that they needed to be elsewhere. “To be fair, it was the lowest part of the castle wall.” I knew that for a fact, because I had climbed it often enough. “Katsu…?” She put her hands on her hips – which had the effect of making her look twice as pregnant. “What did Kenshin do?” “There… um… might have been a few threats about what could happen if someone accidentally knocked you over.” And, given that Mai was somewhat clumsy, even when she was not pregnant, getting within ten meters of her was now more dangerous than active battle. Sasuke had taken up permanent residence in the ceiling, Yukimura actually volunteered for travelling merchant duty, and Yoshimoto disappeared weeks ago. "You know... stabbing... folding... spindling... mutilating. The usual."

[citizenscreen]

Myrna Loy, Sylvia Sidney, Helen Hayes, Mildred Natwick in DO NOT FOLD, SPINDLE OR MUTILATE (1971), directed by Ted Post

[nightkitchentarot]

Deteriorata

"Deteriorata" - National Lampoon

You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. Deteriorata. Deteriorata.

Go placidly amid the noise and waste, And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself, And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys. Know what to kiss, and when. Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold. Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment, and despite the changing fortunes of time, There is always a big future in computer maintenance.

Remember The Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate. Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI. Exercise caution in your daily affairs, Especially with those persons closest to you - That lemon on your left, for instance. Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls Would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore. It will stick to your face. Gracefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan. And let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Hire people with hooks. For a good time, call 606-4311. Ask for Ken. Take heart in the bedeepening gloom That your dog is finally getting enough cheese. And reflect that whatever fortune may be your lot, It could only be worse in Milwaukee.

You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. And whether you can hear it or not, The universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore, make peace with your god, Whatever you perceive him to be - hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin. With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal, The world continues to deteriorate. Give up!

[danielpico]

Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate (1971)