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deadcactuswalking · 6 months ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: EUROVISION SPECIAL 2024 (18/05/2024) - also feat. Post Malone/Morgan Wallen, Myles Smith, Gunna and... Macklemore?

For the third week on the UK Singles Chart, Sabrina Carpenter reigns at the top with “Espresso”, and it’s the one week where my two main interests of pop music and geopolitics combine: the Eurovision final. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: Israel-Palestine conflict, sex, language, Morgan Wallen

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40 and this week, we bid farewell to… “These Walls” by Dua Lipa? Already? Yikes. Aside from that, we can bid adieu to “Feel It” by d4vd, “Outside of Love” by Becky Hill, “Type Shit” by Future, Metro Boomin, Travis Scott and Playboi Carti, “Worth It.” by RAYE, “Training Season” by Dua Lipa, “Thank You (Not So Bad)” by Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike, Tiesto, Dido and W&W, “Whatever” by Kygo and Ava Max, “Back on 74” by Jungle, and of course, “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers. Honestly, not much I can complain about, and I’d predict some of it ends up coming back anyway.

As for our gains, we see some notable boosts for “The Door” by Teddy Swims at #58, “Love Me JeJe” by Tems at #45, “As it Was” by Harry Styles at #33 (yep, it’s still around), “Saturn” by SZA at #32 and “Slow it Down” by Benson Boone at #16. Sure, that doesn’t seem like a lot, but this is quite a busy week so naturally, the gains are minimal, and there are no returns, but a bunch of new songs.

And in our top five this week on the UK Singles Chart, we have “Too Sweet” by Hozier at #5, Shaboozey at #4 with “A Bar Song (Tipsy)”, Tommy Richman shooting up to #3 with “MILLION DOLLAR BABY”, and a star-studded debut right at #2, with Post Malone and Morgan Wallen on “I Had Some Help”. “Espresso” of course is at #1 but more on Post and Morgan later… for now, let’s discuss the biggest night of the year when it comes to gay people representing war criminals in a competition to see who wrote and performed the better track: the Eurovision Song Contest.

Eurovision Song Contest 2024

Naturally, I end up talking about this every year, and this Eurovision was particularly controversial - at least amongst the very online, though very much also amongst the Eurovision fans who have protested some rulings by the European Broadcasting Union and their chairman in relation to the participation of Israel amidst the ongoing invasion of Gaza, as well as the disqualification of the Dutch participant for being aggressive towards a camerawoman, allegedly, though apparently there wasn’t any violence, he didn’t want to be filmed - it’s a bit of hearsay involved. I’m not here to discuss that though, I’m not a gossip blog - even if that last episode about the Kendrick-Drake beef might have teetered on it. Instead, I’ll focus on the music presented this year at Malmo, Sweden, and its impact on the UK charts, which remains relatively uncontroversial. Our entry, “Dizzy” by Olly Alexander of Years & Years, returns to #48 after peaking at #42 earlier this year - kind of embarrassing it couldn’t land in the top 40, especially since there are several other Eurovision songs in that region - though not many - this very week. A muted Eurovision year for sure when it comes to its tangible impact on the charts, but also just a messy overall Eurovision year, here’s me ignoring the vast majority of that and telling you all these songs kind of sucked.

#67 - “Doomsday Blue” - Bambie Thug

REPRESENTING: Ireland

Ireland sent a non-binary witch to Eurovision. If that isn’t woke going too far, I don’t know what it is. Jokes aside, it was a very theatric performance that gained traction simply for being weird, out there, extraordinary and camp, as well as having a soundtrack that, to many people I’m sure, was listenable. The performance, the staging, the camera work, it was all amazing. This alt-metal joint produced by Tylr Rydyr fell into what many heavier acts do at Eurovision: try and fit everything in the short time they have allocated. Norway fantastically avoided this by making a slower and more dramatic, maybe even epic, track but that cost them any chance of winning so from Ireland - and Croatia, we’ll get to it - we have some vaguely industrial mess and yes, I know the dynamic shifting between the two “modes” is most of the point, but I’m sorry, I just can’t stand this. It’s not a good metal song because it fails to reach any catharsis in its refusal to progress upon itself, and it’s not a good pop song simply because it refuses to construct itself as such. It’s not awful, at least by an objective standpoint, but apart from a pretty solid bridge where Mx. Thug devolves into the screeching noise of the outro, the song just teeters into different ideas without gaining a tight grip on any of them, and it’s probably a result more so of ESC limitations than Bambie Thug’s artistic intent, which makes it all the more frustrating.

#37 - “Europapa” - Joost

INTENDED TO REPRESENT: The Netherlands

My favourite Eurovision songs were Czechia, the Netherlands, Norway and Greece. Greece did okay, Norway… made the final at least, Czechia didn’t and the Netherlands were disqualified from performing. Just my luck, hey? Maybe I should stop making endorsements. Regardless, I still really like the Dutch entry, performed by Joost Klein and produced by Tantu Beats and Paul Elstak. It frames itself as a bit of a meme but it’s really one of the few entries that connects to the contest’s theme this year of uniting by music, narrating a story of an orphan travelling Europe getting the chance to prove himself, a story that has its origins in Joost himself losing his parents at a young age and now attempting to prove himself at Eurovision, which of course, sadly didn’t occur and makes the song even more bittersweet than it already was. There’s an even harsher dissonance at play, but outside of the context, it’s just an undeniable Eurodance jam. He even goes for the exact cheesy rap flow every Eurodance rent-a-rapper would use, and the nonsense chorus and vocal chop over the delightfully predictable happy hardcore pianos and synths are just a cherry on top, especially before it sprinkles into the messy instrumental outro. The fact that the lyrics are personal and cleverly written, with a reference to a Stromae song that is also about lacking a father figure, as well as a sample of a classic Dutch film, adds that little speck of intimate detail that makes a goofy song like this hit the right note. It’s fantastic, it’s a damn shame it couldn’t be performed at the final.

#36 - “Rim Tim Tagi Dim” - Baby Lasagna

REPRESENTING: Croatia

This one should be easy to ring off, because it is incredibly one-note. A self-produced Neue Deutsche Harte record from Croatia with goofy lyrics and an impassioned yet somewhat restricted performance that I feel is a bit tied up in the grinding, danceable nature of its unmoving instrumentation that it can’t have nearly as fun as it should. The chorus is a bit self-serious as well, and whilst tonal clash is definitely not stranger to Eurovision, and can be implemented well like with “Europapa”, it’s only when the goofiness comes as a direct result of the more serious backstory or they’re inseparable, and given this barely constructs a full song out of just repeating yourself, it feels half-baked.

#18 - “The Code” - Nemo

REPRESENTING: Switzerland

This one I don’t really like either, and I’ll admit that it’s purely because it’s not my favourite brand of camp: the operatic performance is bombastic and impressive, sure, but it just annoys me. The breathing especially from Nemo, it feels a bit much, if there is a limitation for that in Eurovision. I should mention, probably, that this is the winner for Eurovision this year, and Nemo is another non-binary individual from Switzerland, but they also rap so that’s like five woke points detracted. Their performance once again is impressive but comes from a very Disney-esque school of theatrics and I’ve never been able to relate too well to lyrics about triumphantly finding yourself, mostly because it’s a lot messier of a process than this streamlined breakbeat over soaring strings would have you believe. You would clearly be able to tell that Nemo is one of six producers (the others are Lasse Nymann, Benjamin Alasu, Tom Oehler, Wojciech Kostrzewa and NYLAN) and that’s far from a bad thing: it sounds epic. I absolutely understand why it won, it’s got the energy, the bombast, the straight-up talent, it’s just far from my thing. I think I just watch Eurovision for the politics and Graham Norton at this point, so the songs that’ll hit closer to home are those that try for subtlety, which we honestly didn’t get a lot of this year.

New Entries

#70 - “Miles on It” - Kane Brown and Marshmello

Produced by Digital Farm Animals, Earwulf, Connor McDonough and Marshmello

We really don’t have to do this, guys. If we’re going to actually import some country from Stateside, let’s stick to their biggest and brightest. I’ll take Luke Combs, I’ll take Morgan Wallen and I’ll take Zach Bryan and then some. Kane Brown making yet another half-hearted pop pivot - if you can even call it a pivot at this point - with a slowly fading Marshmello at the helm does not need to be included in the shipment. Given how many fully competent producers are here, I question what Melloboy even did, apart from maybe the grating, ugly processed guitar in the drop because that sounds straight out of his playbook. The snap intro sounds more like Loud Luxury’s “Body” than it does anything even resembling country and I don’t think the decidedly unsubtle lyrics from Kane Brown here as he elbows you asking if you know what it means, or the tropical house wank vaguely pretending to be in any way related to Nashville, is going to make for a fitting sex song separately, let alone together. I’m usually one that complains about songs being too short but this one loses steam a minute and a half in, and just ends up embarrassing for Kane Brown and… more of the same garbage for Marshmello. At least “Body Like a Back Road” had the kindness to keep it more relaxed.

#68 - “Take a Bite” - beabadoobee

Produced by Rick Rubin and Jacob Bugden

So this new beabadoobee song is about finding peace and comfort in toxic or negative situations that are simply the norm, feeling like you have to repeat behaviours that may be unhealthy or unwieldy, with an introspective chorus where she wonders why she’s stuck in that cycle, never truly finding an answer but she still wants to do it over and over again in spite of her ambitions. It’s a great conceit for a song that’s convincingly sold by beabadoobee’s constantly uncertain, softer tone often buried by the production, which is my main issue with this track: Rick Rubin’s on the boards, which means the dreamy gaze of these guitars doesn’t shine nearly as well as it should, and the overdubs feel a bit… random? It’s hard to describe, but despite the chaotic tone of the song, I think it would benefit from being more refined and less scrappy, primarily because that is an absolutely killer chorus even if, like much of the rest of the song, it’s pure worship of 90s and 2000s adult alternative. That’s a genre I miss being on the charts though, I love all that kind of stuff, so I’m fully happy with this being here. I wish there was either a poppier or crunchier sound to it - feels a bit weird lodged between the two extremes, and the fact the guitar doesn’t get to really roar in the bridge does bother me - but as a song, still fantastically written and infectious. Even if I doubt it’ll stick around, I hope more of this sound is coming, because if this is close to being great, I imagine what beabadoobee has left might just reach that.

#64 - “on one tonight” - Gunna

Produced by Kenny Stuntin and Nash Beats

We actually have two Gunna songs. His most recent album One of Wun debuted at #4 on the albums chart and took that week it was out to grow on me. I was initially very lukewarm on it but a few surprisingly impactful experiences with the album - namely, being sleep deprived and trying to use it force me to sleep - have allowed me to gain a respect for it. Sadly, my favourite tracks haven’t debuted, at least not in the top 75 - “hakuna matata” is in the top 100. What we do have still isn’t bad, and definitely contributes to the semi-motivational oceanic feeling of the record overall. In fact, I will say the album is better experienced as a whole due to the seamless tracklist sequencing and overall mood that carries on way more effectively when spread out across 20 tracks. Without each other, sole songs can definitely feel a bit empty, and this is absolutely a great example since it’s only one and a half minutes. Its watery Dirty South beat is slick, Gunna is surprisingly focused in his rags-to-riches story that involves a cute little melodic hook towards the end of his one verse, as well as some genuine lines about staying independent and keeping a relationship with God to stay motivated. It’s a real bite-size example of what I liked about the Gunna album, but not too impressive as a sole piece.

#55 - “one of wun” - Gunna

Produced by Kenny Stuntin, Byrd and ProdByQue

Yup, two consecutive Gunnas, and I hate to say it but it’s more of the same, as the title track is one of my least favourites here, mostly because it tries to be a “banger” with its unmoving, frankly quite dull trap beat and cheap percussion that falters when it comes to replicating the wavy atmosphere of much of the rest of the album. Gunna is still fun here declaring that he’s not a lil-bitty shrimp but I’ve never been anything but repulsed by his brand of sex bars, and they’re not exactly anything fancier here, so it’s just a bit of a dud. Sorry. Wish I could talk about some of my preferred tracks at length but I’ll just shout out my favourites, those being the opener “collage”, “whatsapp (wassam)”, “treesh”, “conscience”, “let it breathe” featuring Roddy Richh and the very genuine closer “be careful what you wish for”.

#51 - “HIND’S HALL” - Macklemore

Produced by Macklemore

I do feel pretty damn good about how the Israeli entry to Eurovision failed to chart but raising funds for the United Nations relief agency in Palestine can take Macklemore of all people nearly in the top 50 with a very non-commercial song. It may seem petty but hey, I’d rather be petty on the side of freedom, and I’ve been caring about Palestine’s independence long before the recent war in Gaza - you can check my coverage of Israeli Eurovision entries from even just last year - so part of me is really happy that this song exists and is charting. In fact, all of me is, and I’m surprised that Macklemore has taken such a public and assertive stance on this considering he’s mostly a comedic rapper, whose political statements I remember most being 1.) the time he wore an antisemitic costume because he thought he was Humpty Hump, and 2.) the time that he thought he was gay because he liked drawing. I’m hyperbolising those events, obviously, they’re both just mismanagements of genuinely good intentions, but that’s kind of been what Macklemore is defined by, at least to me, and “HIND’S HALL” is a much more focused attempt at expressing those feelings in a cohesive way. I still don’t like it.

The idea to sample a respected Lebanese Arab singer is clever, but the beat is droning and aggressive in a very old-school rap way, which means it can get on the nerves easily if the guy over it is struggling to keep compelling - see Eminem’s “Mosh”. I agree with the vast majority of what Macklemore says about white supremacy and I absolutely agree that Palestine should be free - and I think he makes a very good point not many are doing in comparing Israel’s treatment of Gazans to police brutality in the USA, even if he doesn’t really expand on that, and makes it more about himself than it probably should be. That’s the main issue with this song for me, and it’s clear even in Macklemore’s delivery, which can be aggressive and gritty, clipping in the mix, but can also just sound goofy, especially in the intro where the rhyme schemes are a bit dragged out. Otherwise, whilst I have no problem with the vast majority of his lyrics, some nitpicks get to me in a way they wouldn’t if it weren’t for the unavoidable corniness of Macklemore and a song that teeters on obnoxious, mostly through the TikTok references, the idea that white supremacy wasn’t on blast until Macklemore made this song, the random Drake mention that feels attention-grabbing, the plea not to vote for Biden as if a good third party exists and the other option isn’t going to make Gaza worse and embolden white supremacy domestically, and most annoyingly for me, “You can pay off Meta, but you can’t pay off me!”… You’re fucking Macklemore! As much as I really don’t like the song, I do recommend it. Stream it, buy it, give the lyrics a read, there’s not much art being made about this in the public eye and even what we are being given is by imperfect allies (if there is such thing as a perfect ally), it should give us the opportunity to raise money and awareness by the suffering by those on the ground, corniness be damned. I have a lot of respect to Macklemore for trying this out and what he does, even if I don’t like it, is way more impactful than anything I could even try. It’s free Palestine until the colonisation and murder stops, and my hope is that eventually, it will, though the suffering faced in that excruciating timespan may not even balance the eventual freedom when so many who struggled won’t get to live a second of it.

#41 - “360” - Charli XCX

Produced by A.G. Cook and Cirkut

I think I’m supposed to know who, well, any of the women in this music video are. Regardless, it had a bit of a viral moment and helped propel Charli’s newest single from her upcoming Brat album to nearly reach the top 40. Here, the Eurodance keys are placed alongside a demanding electroclash beat that makes it sound a lot darker than they would in a more upbeat, party-friendly context, and this is really an example of A.G. Cook taking elements of electronic dance music and either blending them with different ideas or taking them so far out of context that they emit an entirely different idea than would be otherwise intended. It’s a brilliant idea, especially with the vaguely Jersey club percussion effects in the chorus and that weedy 2000s synths-- did she shout out Sewerlsvt? No? Okay, thank God. Uh, swiftly moving past that, I think this is a very effective way of balancing the carefree and paranoid elements of showbiz together into a relatively ugly yet still accessible and catchy, even hypnotic, tune with a cute little reference to her producer in the second verse and hooks out the wazoo. This is more lowkey perhaps than what the album’s title and cover would imply, but for me, its brattiness is much more charming than in “Von dutch”. Also, apparently there’s a remix with Robyn and Yung Lean coming which is insane and I desperately need to hear that.

#12 - “Stargazing” - Myles Smith

Produced by Peter Fenn

I had no idea who this guy was until just a few weeks earlier and now we’re giving him a free top 20 hit. Sure… man, we’re really back in 2013 pop, aren’t we? This doesn’t directly sample or interpolate anything, but it sure felt derivative and looking back towards a monogenre we ditched back in 2015. It mixes the stomp rock of that time with the dance-pop of that time in a blend that could potentially be interesting if this wasn’t just something that Avicii did back in the day, and by keeping the fake claps, anthemic choruses, ugly vocal processing and wooshing sound effects but not the commitment to electronic sounds, it ends up sounding less like an attempt to warp genres together like Avicii was doing and instead just a mangled attempt to manufacture a pop version of what Hozier and Noah Kahan are already doing to great success without dumbing themselves down. Also, the mix is just terrible, that lifeless yet still inexplicably propulsive kick drum frightens me. This’ll probably be a hit but God, it’s not deserving of it. Next.

#2 - “I Had Some Help” - Post Malone featuring Morgan Wallen

Produced by Charlie Handsome, Hoskins and Louis Bell

To anyone surprised that Post Malone is able to pull the streaming and radio numbers he has in the past week for this single… to quote a great post on the Pulse forums, “he had some help.” It’s not fair to say it’s all Morgan though - after all, he’s not a massive pull globally. The song has genuinely latched on pretty well and had an amazing couple first days, it could still stick around, and I honestly think that sometimes a song’s success can be explained pretty simply: it’s just good enough. There’s a lot you CAN hate about this, especially given Post Malone’s origins in rap that I’ve already seen start discourse about this single, and Morgan Wallen as a presence is always going to turn people off… but this is just a driving-down-main country pop-rock sing-a-long, and I feel that’s really difficult to mess up. The drums don’t sound that organic, even if they are - they could very well fit in a synthpop tune as well - but Post has never been one for organic instrumentation, more so an immersive blend between the acoustic guitars he’s familiar with and soundscapes that prefer synthbeds, strings and trap percussion, so this is considerably more organic for the guy, who warbles through the verses and pre-choruses that are probably about a breakup but… does it matter? Once the drum fills into the undeniable chorus that really only has one flaw in that it might be too wordy, but is otherwise an anthemic ode to teamwork more than anything else, I could not care less about what the song is actually about. The fiddle that backs Morgan Wallen is a nice touch, even if a bit on-the-nose that designate that he’s the country singer on the track, and the chorus sounds perfectly written based on both artists’ catalogue. I can see right through this in terms of it being a slight reinvention of Post’s image, a clear attempt at being a surefire hit, but the song backing it all up has too much genuine chemistry and is way too well constructed for that opaqueness to ever get to me. Especially with that chorus, God, it’s a great chorus.

Conclusion

Best of the Week goes to Joost here for “Europapa”, with Charli XCX grabbing the Honourable Mention for “360” though, again, those Post Malone and beabadoobee songs are pretty damn good. As for the worst, it should be pretty damn clear which two tracks are there, but it’s a toss-up to who gets what. I think Kane Brown and Marshmello get Worst of the Week on the pure egregiousness of “Miles on It”, but Myles Smith’s “Stargazing” might just sound worse and takes the Dishonourable Mention. That was a heavy few weeks but hopefully things will calm down, for now - thank you for reading, rest in peace to Steve Albini, free Palestine and I’ll see you next week!

#pop music #song review #uk singles chart #eurovision 2024 #eurovison song contest #kane brown #marshmello #beabadoobee #bambie thug #gunna #one of wun #macklemore #charli xcx #joost klein #baby lasagna #nemo #myles smith #post malone #morgan wallen

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