#Diluc simps come get y'all's food

[kaebedom-me]

alright this isn't a poly post but being Childe's best friend while he's pining for Kaeya??? like he's being all dramatic saying the beauty of the universe can't compare to Kaeya and you're all like 'have you even talked to him???' and he's like 'nooo but he's my soulmateeee' and just dealing with the chaos known as Chaeya (+bonus if you're Diluc's s/o and both of them just DONE with their pining and lock them into a closet to 'CONFESS FOR FUCKS SAKE')

consider this my offering to diluc to come home to me on feb 3rd on xiao’s banner on my first 10 pulls PLEASE IM BEG 

also nonnie you’re so big brained- i can’t get over this request like- chaeya pining??? diluc?????? ??????????????? i love it so much thank you for this request

being childe’s best friend is chaos enoUgH

he’s always getting into trouble, and you always have to help him??

but it’s also him telling you about his problems and him being there for yours? 

you two being plenty affectionate as friends too because you’re like best buds

childe’s always buying you shit and you always have to beat the shit out of him for buying you shit because wtf dude

little do you know he wants to fight you is why he’s finding ways to riles you up

pls you’re like one of his true friends because yeah he has cliques, the harbingers (whatever they are in this AU), and they hang occasionally, but they’re not like friends friends- 

so he really appreciates you as a person??? also zhongli!! they’d be buds too

y’all could be a little trio!

now you kinda know kaeya? from diluc-

wait idk how to do this- there’s so many possibilities??? pre-established diluc x you? or???? you pining for diluc??? or you being buds also w kaeya and know diluc??????

ah but for here i’ll do you and childe were both single at first? then you meet the loves of your lives-

i like to think you kinda know kaeya or know of him? and childe’s like kinda know him too but not really maybe acquaintances? they talked like once and my boy fell in love so hard (what au is this helP?? uNI?????? THE POSSIBILTIES i’ll leave it vague)

you know kaeya better after like meeting diluc? and you know oh they have some sort of relationship but diluc Does Not Want to talk about it

so one day childe’s acting all strange moping around and you’re like bro wtf?? and he confesses he’s into this guy

you being the good friend you are is super supportive and wants the hot deets

and you find out how fucking stupid your bff5ever is??? HAHHAHA he’s made eye contact w his crush once (1) and he’s thinking about marriage???

you do try to help him too and it’s a lot of childe talking about this mystery man for a long time HAHAHHA

zhongli comes by now and then and is like ah yes that man you will marry

zhongli is a little stupid too, thinks he’s already dating Kaeya but he doesn't know- because childe speaks as if they’re already dating so imagine zhongli’s surprise when you tell them they barely know each other HAHAHHAHAHHA

you get to know Kaeya better first, because he approaches you! mostly cuz he noticed how diluc’s around you a lot? so he approaches you out of curiosity

you don’t know this is childe’s man yet, so you’re all like whomst???? stop talking to me, you’re making diluc not look at me???

oh my god it’s a whole mess

you start hanging out with kaeya unwillingly but Diluc comes hang out with you twice the amount too

he’s lowkey jealous about kaeya hogging you he needs to be with you to cleanse you of kaeya lmAO

one fine day zhongli was shopping with childe and he sees you, he fucking sees you with kaeya and his heart sTops pulls zhongli aside into a bush to stalk you and zhongli’s all like “Childe, what are we doing in this bush” 

HAHAH childe telling him that’s the guy his soulmate, his one and only

zhongli like i feel he knows Kaeya too? kaeya gets around a lot so he moves over so he can join you and Kaeya-

childe’s in whole ass panic mode wtf zhongli what are you doing you’re gonna blow our cover!!! but follows also because what if zhonglie tELLS

you’re approached by two more men and really, you just want to vibe and get like matcha bubble tea or smth maybe visit diluc but Kaeya suddenly appeared and now zhongli is on his way and why does childe look so flustered??

y’all go thru the whole “oh you know them too!” bs 

zhongli’s glad to catch up with his friends, childe trying to get you to help and trying to tell you it’s hiM but also trying to play it cool (he’s doing a good job tho), you just want to vibe man, and kaeya’s like

kaeya’s reaching over to childe, eyes focused on childe’s neck, fingers light brushing against it and everyone’s attention is suddenly on them

Kaeya laughs, lightly patting on childe’s clothes, he asks if childe just walked into a tree or something and childe is  f l u s t e r e d  blushing, stuttering all that mess

you’ve connected the two dots, you didn’t connect shit, pining childe’s just easy to read when he’s panicking, but you connected them

zhongli opens his mouth to say the two of them were just hiding in a bush, but you manage to elbow him in the stomach so chaeya can have their little moment

KAEYA THE LITTLE SHIT, knowing full well now that childe’s got a crusH, plays it off and leans over, and tries to flirt w you????? he’s reaching over to you

but you’re suddenly yanked into someone’s chest

it’s diluc, glaring at Kaeya, doesn’t acknowledge anyone else just drags you away “we’re going on a date”

mmmm it’s your turn to get flustered now

leaves the other three stunned 

zhongli is the first one to recover tho, having seen a cake he wants to try, all but drags childe away

Childe’s too shooketh to do anything so he just gapes at Kaeya and Zhongli as he’s being dragged away while Kaeya waves cutely at him

i want to say kaeya slips his phone number into childe’s pocket but i kind of want childe to pine more and make it even more of a mesS-

but you- after being dragged away and once diluc deems it’s a safe distance away from Kaeya he’s suddenly flustered about holding onto your hands so tightly 

he’s all like “he’s trouble don’t hang w him” not looking at you, there’s tension but you don’t want to push so 

you tease him ofc tf “so a date huh”

and he fucking blushes 

he tries to leave because he just embarrASsed himself but you’re like nooo come back and say you’re gonna go do a thing and would love company?

so diluc agrees to take you, since he doesn't have much else to do- it’s totes not a date tho

plS HAHAHHA you can try to ask him about why he was around but he won’t tell you 

but you’re happy about how things are playing out right now? you’re content to walk beside diluc, a dumb smile plastered on your face