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the--blackdahlia · 5 years ago

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Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 16 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 16

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings: Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.

AN: This is NOT the last chapter ;)

NIkki bit at his thumbnail trying to build up the courage to walk inside. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and took the plunge. Walking in he froze when he saw (Y/n) laying on the bed with her eyes closed. She looked like a sleeping angel. Each step he took his leg felt like led.

“She’s okay Nik,” Tommy said, watching his friend. “She’s really tired.” As if on queue, (Y/n) opened her heavy eyes and looked up at Nikki, smiling softly.

“Hey handsome.” She said, smiling weakly.

Nikki rushed to her and hugged her gently, “Don’t do that ever again.” he held her face in his hands and gave her a gentle kiss. Vanessa put a hand on Tommy’s shoulder as they watched them.

“I didn’t know what to do,” (Y/n) admitted. “I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t take speed, did you?” Tommy asked, breaking the moment. Tears filled up in her eyes as she shook her head.

Nikki sniffled a bit and kissed her again. “No more caffeine for a long time ok?” She nodded, resting against him. The nurse came in with her discharge papers.

“She’s okay to go home. She might be a little sick for a day.” She told the group. Tommy filled out the papers and handed them back to the nurse.

“Tommy, I think she should stay with us for a while,” Nikki sniffled and looked at her.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Tommy asked.

“I can stay at the house. It’s no problem.” (Y/n) told them. Her parents had decided to stay in Greece for awhile, due to her grandmother being sick.

“NO… I would feel safe if you stayed with someone or stayed with us…. Stay in the dorms or call Athena but I don’t want you alone (Y/n).” NIkki looked at Tommy with pleading eyes. “Tommy you know I’m right.”

“I’ll stay over at the house with you tonight.” Tommy told her and Nikki. “I don’t think it’d be a good idea bringing her to the house. There’s...things and stuff there.”

“Ok, I’ll join you then,” Nikki closed his eyes and took a breath. He could be without his crutch for a few days.

“Guys, I’m okay. I just tired myself out.” (Y/n) slowly got out of bed when the nurse undid her IV’s. “I’m fine.”

“This is non-negotiable (Y/n) we’re staying with you, right Tommy?” NIkki looked at him.

“Motley Crue sleepover!” Tommy called out.

“Wait...when did I get roped into this?” Vince asked.

“I might as well stay too.” Vanessa laughed.

“Okay, I’m staying.” Vince smiled.

****

“Nikki, I can walk.” (Y/n) said as they made their way home. Vanessa, Vince, and Mick had went ahead to make sure there were no more of those pills laying around, leaving Tommy and Nikki to take (Y/n) back home.

“Not taking any chances sweet girl,” Nikki said as he carried her bridal style, “Now couch? Or your room?”

“Room please.” (Y/n) said. “I can walk up the stairs though.”

“That’s so cute!” Vanessa said as she watched them come in.

“Nope, not taking any chances,” Nikki carried her up the stairs and into her room laying her down gently before laying next to her holding her tight. “Missed you.”

“I missed you too.” She said, curling into his embrace. “You’re back early.”

“It was supposed to be a surprise, I wanted to take you out to dinner and maybe a nice hotel…” Nikki trailed off.

“I’m sorry I messed it up.” She looked down. “I’ve been messing up a lot here recently.”

“No you haven’t,” Nikki sighed. “I should have realized something was wrong.” he sighed and held her close. “I love you.”

“I love you too Nikki.” (Y/n) whispered, holding on to him. “You made it back in time for my graduation. My parents won’t be here for it though, because my grandma is sick.”

“I wouldn’t miss you walking across that stage for the world,” Nikki kissed her deeply his hands rubbing her sides. “I missed you,” he kissed her jaw down to her neck. She moaned softly, pressing against him. She held onto his t-shirt and closed her eyes. Tommy came to the doorway and cleared his throat.

“Food run. Anything my girl wants.” Tommy said, smiling at them.

“Subs.” (Y/n) said. “I could really go for a sub please. Ham and cheese, no tomato?”

“You got it,” Tommy said clapping his hands and rubbing them together. “Nikki, Mick’s down stairs…”

“Okay. Thanks.” Nikki said. He looked at (Y/n), who was resting against him, her eyes closed for a moment. He smiled and brushed her hair back. Her being here gave him something he had only felt with drugs and music. Tommy watched for a second before he left to get the food. “I’ll be right back sweet girl,” NIkki said as he kissed (Y/n) before following behind Tommy.

“You doing ok Bass player?” Mick said as he pulled out a bag. But Nikki shook his head.

“I shouldn’t… not tonight…” he whispered and looked up the stairs.

“You sure?” Mick asked. “She’s okay. She’s just sleeping.”

“Only on tour man… I should only do it on tour….” Nikki told himself.

“If you change your mind, I’ll be here all night.” Mick told him, putting the bag away. Vince got them each a beer.

“Gotta drink it so she can’t, right?” He asked with a shrug. “She’s seriously lacking in the grocery department though. Beers pretty much all that’s in the fridge.”

“OK, we need a grocery run,” Vanessa said. “Vince you’re with me, Mick you and Nikki make sure she gets her rest. Tommy should be back with the food.” Vanessa grabbed her purse and looked at Vince. “Let’s go.”

“Yes ma’am.” Vince said, saluting her. Nikki headed back upstairs.

“(Y/n)?” Nikki smiled softly as he saw her asleep in her bed. Climbing in he held her close and slept next to her. (Y/n) woke up a bit later and smiled at Nikki. She slowly got out of bed and made her way downstairs as Tommy came in with the food.

"Hey, I got your food. You ok? Where's Nikki?" Tommy said as he put the food on the table.

“I’m okay. Nikki looked tired so I left him sleeping upstairs.” She leaned against the doorframe.

"(Y/n), why didn't you say anything?" Tommy sighed.

“I just got so caught up in everything…” She sighed. “I’m fine. I promise. You guys don’t have to stay here tonight.” She rubbed her head some. “Must have hit it when I fell. Even though I don’t remember falling. Vince said I was on the floor.”

"Yeah," Tommy rubbed the back of his neck. "I can only imagine what Nikki felt when Vince bright you down."

“I’m sorry.” (Y/n) sighed. She swayed a little and Tommy quickly got her.

"Ok, come on sit down and eat," Tommy said as he helped her sit.

"(Y/n)!" Nikki's voice came from upstairs. (Y/n) didn’t even have time to answer before six feet of bassist came running into the kitchen in a frantic search.

“Hey.” Tommy said, nodding at him like nothing was going on.

Nikki noticed (Y/n) and melt by her chair. "You were gone and I got scared." He whispered. He had never felt this strongly about anyone not even his own mother. And it scared him.

“Sorry, you looked so tired. I should’ve woke you up.” She smiled at him.

"I'm sorry baby.. " he whispered as he grabbed the sub Tommy put in front if him. He caressed her cheek and have her a sad smile. Tommy watched from a distance. The way Nikki was with her, he had never seen it before. Usually girls he claimed to “love” came and went with the newspaper. But something about the way he treated (Y/n) made Tommy think this was different.

“I have to work tomorrow.” (Y/n) said. “They put me on the schedule at some point during my caffeine high.” She looked at her work schedule on the fridge and sighed.

"You're calling in sick," Tommy said as he handed her the phone. "They can check the discharge papers if they don't believe you."

“Where’s Vanessa and Vince? I’m not hallucinating, am I?” (Y/n) asked. Mick came in, taking his food from Tommy.

"They went grocery shopping," Mick sighed. "You've seemed to be on a beer diet. I gotta say not the best diet (Y/n)." Mick looked at Nikki and Tommy, "what?"

"Mick, that was not cool man," Nikki sighed as he held (Y/n)'s hand.

“Thanks for everything guys, but I’m okay.” (Y/n) yawned. “You really don’t have to stay.” She rested her head on Nikki’s shoulder. “I’m feeling better. I promise.”

"I'm staying (Y/n)," Nikki said as he pulled her in for a kiss. "We are not going to argue about."

By the time Vanessa and Vince came back from totally just grocery shopping, (Y/n) was out cold on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket while Tommy and Mick cleaned out the fridge of beer, and Nikki sat on the floor by (Y/n)’s head.

“Dude, isn’t that uncomfortable?” Vince asked, helping carry in the bags.

“Nope, I’m good,” Nikki said as he leaned back and closed his eyes.

“Okay well, don’t come crying to me when your ass falls asleep and you need to get up.” Vince laughed and headed to the kitchen. Nikki felt someone playing with his hair. He looked around to see (Y/n) sleepily fluffing it. With a small smirk he sighed happily. Her fingers felt good running through his hair. He never let any chick do that but with (Y/n) he wanted her to touch him anywhere she wanted to.

The next morning Nikki gave a low painful groan. The crick in his neck was painful as he lifted his head and winced in pain. He tried to reach for (Y/n) but found the couch empty. Shooting up he yelled in pain she his knee hit the coffee table.

“What?” Tommy asked, jumping from where he was sleeping in a chair. “What’s goin’ on?”

“(Y/n)’s gone and I hit my knee against your stupid table,” Nikki sighed as he tried to walk it off.

“Why were you under it?” Tommy asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“I wasn’t… I was sleeping with my head on the couch and my body on the floor.” Nikki looked in the kitchen but there was no sign of (Y/n). “Tommy? Where’s (Y/n)?”

“I dunno. I just woke up when you screamed.” Tommy yawned. “(Y/n)?” He called out.

“(Y/n)?!” Nikki called and ran up to her room but it was empty.

“Did she go to work?” Tommy growled. That’s when he looked outside to see her sitting on the edge of the pool, her feet in the water. “Nikki!”

Nikki rushed to Tommy who was pointing outside. Nikki took a calming breath as he opened the patio door and stepped outside. He took off his shoes and pants and sat by her putting his feet in the water. “You know,” he placed his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. “You could have woken me up and I could have joined you sooner.”

“You needed your sleep.” She smiled at him. “If I could’ve lifted your 6’1 ass, I would’ve put you on the couch so you could’ve slept better.”

Nikki kissed her deeply his hand caressing her sides. “Maybe we can have that special date later?”

“That sounds amazing.” She smiled at him. “I really did miss you while you were away.”

“I did too. We need more phone sex.” Nikki wiggled his eyebrows. “I love hearing you cum.” he whispered in her ear as his fingers danced on her thigh.

“You know, I am feeling better. Maybe Tommy and the others could leave soon.” She kissed him deeply. As he cupped her face, the patio door slid open, making her groan.

“Hey! No hanky panky in front of me please!” Tommy said as he joined them by the pool and splashed (Y/n).

“Well if you hadn’t come out here.” She laughed, splashing him back. “I’m feeling a lot better. Not as dizzy. Appetite is on it’s way back.”

“Good!” Nikki said as he held her close. “So, I’m thinking someplace fancy for tonight.” he leaned in. “And then you, me, a nice hotel mattress?” he nipped at her neck and smirked against her skin.

“Oh dear god.” Tommy groaned. “I’m gonna push you in the pool Sixx.” (Y/n) laughed as Tommy splashed both of them.

“I’m not wearing a swimsuit Tommy,” (Y/n) said. “And I think you’d hate it if I took my clothes off out here because they’re soaked.”

Tommy ran his hands across his face and groaned, “You two are just sickening!”

“You love us.” Nikki smirked.

“Her? Yes. You, I’m not too sure about.” Tommy laughed.

Nikki splashed Tommy and laughed. It felt good to be home with Y/N, but he knew they had to go to the studio soon. But for now they had press parties and a lot of gigs to do.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk

Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @livingdeadharley @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva

Nikki Sixx Tags: @daisystuffsstuff

Too Young to Fall in Love Tags: @kingbouji3 @leximus98 @thekidbakerinthetardis @crystalbaby12 @shawnsstxtches

#too young to fall in love #Motley Crue #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x reader #nikki x reader #the dirt #dirt!nikki sixx #dirt!nikki sixx x reader #dirt!nikki x reader #dirt!nikki #fanfiction

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bangtanprose · 8 years ago

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A theory post, or a reflection, whatever you want to call it--

I’m prefacing everything with how hard BTS have worked, and how much they deserve to get the recognition and attention they are receiving for their blood sweat and tears; their art; their music. BTS have truly inspired many of us, and I think, even though many people think their story is based on who’s-dead-and-when, I do not think that. I think they are showing us their stages of maturing; the most beautiful moments in life.

I’m also going to note that when I am talking about the members, I am not talking about them as actual living breathing human beings, but the characters they are portraying. BTS are showing us a story and, while metaphorically it may be relevant to how they are feeling, there are many physical aspects which are purely fiction and products of their and Bighit’s imaginations, all coming together to make one clusterfuck of an amazing story, so to remain respectful to them as artists, I speak of them (Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook) as their characters in music videos, not them with personal lives which I wish to respect. This is also why I am not going to touch on lyrics, as music is a personal art which, they have said many times, is written for themselves and their listeners, and that is why I am isolating the usage of their lyrics from this theory/reflection/whatever. Music is them, BTS, the boys we love in their live shows and interviews, cinematography and directed videos are their characters, the story of their imagination they wish to share with us.

I’ll also be referencing to many other MVs/short films that BTS have, not just Spring Day. I’ll be adding more when Not Today comes out, because I believe there will be more in there.

The ones who walk away from Omelas (have a pdf, if you have not read it yet) and Demian are stories which BTS have highlighted this era, and by no coincidence, they both lie on the shoulders of maturity, and growing up without the world being as crystal pristine as our innocent and naive youth believes. Omelas does not specifically link the realisation to one’s eyes cleared of youth, but this is why Demian is included. Demian isn’t the main character of Demian, but he is the best friend of him, Sinclair: the boy who suddenly sees the world is not a realm of peace and there are many, many, evils, but Demian is the older boy he meets, mature and understanding, and holding Sinclair through his time of uncertainty. Omelas sees the suffering of one child and although the city is great and bearing fruits of celebrations, one child suffers, and through adolescence, children learn about this kid wasting away in its own excrement for their happiness. Sometimes they cry and wail and shout “how is this fair!” but some go quiet. Some cease to speak, and one day, they walk out of Omelas, the city of perfectness and comfort balanced on the shoulders of a child that is death ridden, sores covering its thighs.

Do we see the moments of realisation Jin was having in Run? He did not run with the rest of them; he drove their cars and held their petals. But he never walked away; he wants to treasure the moments (taking polaroids, filming them) he is living with his friends. He sees the child of Omelas suffering, but he stays, because, after all, Omelas is the perfect city, and no one knows anywhere else.

But we do not know who the child is, nor Demian nor Sinclair, nor dearest Eva, a character so minor in the book that we could also bring other characters like Kromer and Beck and Pistorius into the equation.

Fast-forwards to Wings, and Demian is brought in. The short films demonstrate each different parts of the different characters. Jungkook’s short film is a dream sequence, much like many of those about Demain that Sinclair has. If one was to jump to conclusions, it could be easy to assume Jungkook is Sinclair, as we also saw maturity blossoming in him in the Run era – he stares blankly at the camera while his friends party, until they disappear. But I am not here to give a direct answer. I am here to open an idea so people can contribute and add to this, with whatever they think. He is also crying, crying as a portrait bleeds and he is pleading for his hyung; the video is heavily linked with that of Yoongi’s, with the burning piano and the car crashing. It was heavily debated around the time of its release who the main portrait was of (which, if anyone has any ideas, I would love to hear, as I'm also intrigued by the idea that it could be them all), but we also need to think about all our senses. We hear water and fire – associations? Jimin, to water with his suicide attempt back in I Need U. Yoongi, setting a room on fire, or Namjoon, dropping a cigarette on the gas station. And the wings which distract him? Taehyung, the fallen angel of the Blood Sweat and Tears era. There is something to be recognised between the sound of wings and Taehyung being illustrated as someone who has, or, more likely, had wings. So is Jungkook looking back upon these moments, or is he dreaming before they happen? Remember, in Demian, Sinclair dreams a lot of Demian before he even meets him and draws his face when he is conscious. Nothing happens for no reason if we’re thinking analytically. Perhaps, if we want to assume Jungkook is meant to represent Sinclair, then Taehyung is the idea or friend that is stopping this process of fulling maturing like Demian. Taking it back to Omelas, Jungkook is seeing too much happiness in his friends (Run), so there is something he must not be seeing (the child, suffering at the weight of a city’s happiness), which he soon sees in his argument with Yoongi. Jungkook is maturing and gaps are forming in his mind, before he has seen the whole picture. Then, he sees the true suffering of his friends, and takes the first baby steps out of Omelas.

But if we believe Jungkook is Sinclair, then who is Demian? Many believe Jin – for most of the HYYH, he is the one who is separated from the rest of them heavily. He films what they do. But are we sure Jin is meant to be Demian? Is he not clinging onto the youth and treasuring its moments while it lasts? In Awake, Jin’s short film, he is not paired like any of the others. Jin is well and truly alone. He is also unwell, shaking and hallucinating as he sees the members in polaroids. He is locked in a room that he wants to escape and claws at the walls and he is burning the petals, assumably symbolising the same petals we saw in I Need U. Now, there’s a thing about the lilies which could shift theories either way – lilies symbolise that the soul of the departed has received restored innocence after death (source). HYYH shows us the youth of BTS. If I Need U is a song about happiness within sadness, then Run is about sadness within happiness, as Jungkook has said (source). There has always been their innocence, yes, but each member is well aware of unhappiness. I’m not saying that the happiness we see in these videos means they’re dead, but it is something that should be kept in mind. As I’ve said before, I, personally, do not think this story is about death, but growing up and maturing. If we’re going to amp up the meaning of Omelas, it could read a little more like: the lilies symbolise that the soul of those mature, can still be happy once they have walked away from Omelas (the utopian city BTS have built themselves in their friendship, and innocence). Jin in Spring Day is seen picturing with his fingers at the bottom of an encasing staircase as the other members run up the stairs, occasionally checking on their hyung at the bottom. He is frowning, however, like he does in Awake. He’s taking a picture of what is leaving him, like the candles extinguishing as soon as the flash hits them.

Maybe Jin is the one stuck in innocence. Drowning, falling, all while he is awake. But he leaves the room when the sound of a train passes, and he walks down the corridor, around the corner. I think this is the acceptance. Acceptance that he cannot grow old and mature while his lifeline lays in what once was. Jin boards the train. Away from Omelas. Where he can grow old, with those he loves most and has separated himself from long enough to get sick because they have matured without him, but left the door open for him. Jin boards the train away from Omelas where he can grow old with his best friends; he burns the lilies and destroys the idea that they will still be innocent on the other side of their youth.

Another thing which I have seen people speculating is that Taehyung is the child suffering for the weight of Omelas’ happiness. It’s easy to assume this, from the scenes of him being caged in Stigma, but I don’t think so. They are all suffering in some way. Taehyung placing his head on the lines of a railway track does not have to mean it is his suicide, like him jumping off things in the prologue and BST does not mean so either. He is self-destructive. We see him walking along the lines later on in the video, and in the train with the rest of them at the end. Perhaps, like Jin, Taehyung is slow to mature. He is still living recklessly, like we see him in Stigma. But there is a point where he becomes locked in this type of living, unable to escape but his friends (the dog, the snow, white, dog) are able to. I’ve seen screenshots from the Spring Day on other theories, and Taehyung, at first in the scene where Jungkook goes through the last door, is not there at the beginning of the shot, but appears in the shot of them running from behind. Is this to do with the angle of the shot, or is Taehyung the last one to mature? Was it to do with the phone call he made in the prologue?

This leads me to the pairings, and how I think they are interpreted into this idea.

To start with, I’ll talk about Taehyung and Namjoon. We assume (according to the prologue), after Taehyung kills his abusive alcoholic father (OR just has bloodied hands), he calls someone unnamed, but referred to as ‘hyung’. He asks to see him again. If we aren’t going to straight away assume that the bloodied hands come from his father, then we can rule out it being the murders of most members since none of them particularly have a bloody ‘death’/attempt in I Need U as we do not know if the car actually hit Jungkook and killed him, despite references to it in First Love and Begin, and it could have very easily been non-fatal. The blood on his hands might not have been his father's. Jungkook is definitely a possibility, and this is just something I have realised as I am writing this, because in Reflection we hear and see a lot of shattering glass, and in Stigma we see one shot of the same glass shattering. But that’s for Jungkook – back to Taehyung and Namjoon. In Run, they are partners in crime, running from the police and causing havoc and getting arrested together. But in their short films, the next step on, they are very much separate. Taehyung is getting arrested on his own for petty crimes, the graffiti of Abraxas is something which should not be ignored, either, as Abraxas is the god who is both good and bad. The Devil and God in one being. Perhaps this shows Taehyung as understanding the concept that all is not good for him, as we see him caged and his last hope runs away. Did something happen to Namjoon that meant Taehyung can no longer see him, or be with him? My vague, very vague, idea of this timeline would be that Namjoon matured and left behind the petty crimes of adolescence and his point of realisation could have been the murder of Taehyung’s dad. In Reflection he hears the phone ringing but the phone box is locked and written over it is ‘LIAR’, in red paint. However, this could also be a second phone call, or not even from Taehyung. In the Japanese Run MV, Namjoon is holding the phone in a phonebox, but then he drops the phone from some kind of emotion. Was that the phone call in the prologue? Perhaps the chains around the phone box in Reflection are the barrier between maturity and immaturity that Namjoon cannot break, even though he wants to help Taehyung out of this complex. He wants to answer the phone call which is Taehyung's plead for help; he wants another chance to help Taehyung. If we want to go the other way, the reflective metaphorical and emotional way, is Namjoon calling himself a liar because he holds a hatred only for himself, because he lied to himself for many years of his youth that this is all okay, because we are still in Omelas, and he left before he could help anyone else. Nonetheless, Namjoon left Taehyung behind even if he never intended to, and Taehyung continues his petty crimes alone. Until he boards the train, with his best friends.

Now, Hoseok and Jimin. I haven’t really mentioned them much, have I? In Run they are together, but in what looks like hospital beds. In Lie and Mama, this is taken a step further with Hoseok emitted to a psychiatric ward, with an illness noted as Munchausen syndrome, and I must note I do not take psychology, but from quick research (source, the NHS is the british health service, so the most reliable source I could find) it is a disorder where the person suffering from it is not ‘ill’ so to speak, as in nothing is physically or, only sometimes, mentally wrong with them, but they feign being ill and purposefully try to catch illnesses. This could be because they have problems establishing their own identities, or forming meaningful relationships, and, as a result of feigning illnesses, they can adopt an identity that means they will have unconditional support and acceptance and have their own place in a hospital if they are emitted, allowing them into a social network. So this alone tells us a lot about Hoseok, as well as raising a lot more questions. Hoseok is given pills and they are for a placebo (they do nothing) effect, but he hallucinates and illustrates his erratic behaviour as the effect “kicks in”. Now I’m sure there’s a relevance to this, perhaps showing us that Hoseok has acquired a dependance on substances to stay sane, but we can obviously see that he is not. After his trip – his bright, blinding, infuriating for him, trip – he wakes up and can walk out the room. He sees the image of the trees Jimin pointed the camera towards (some kind of subliminal messaging between the two? Like Sinclair and Demain?), and takes a bite of his snickers, and walks away as the image transitions to a mother cradling her son. To go back to our set of stories, in Demian, Eva (the mother of Demian) gave Sinclair chocolate bars when he was upset. What I’m thinking is that something was taken away from Hoseok, some love, to the point where a simple reminder of it can make him feel better than any pill. Pills are a bad time for him, love is a good one, like the parallels of sadness and happiness we see in I Need U and Run. Of course you can see where I’m getting at – Jimin. Jimin was taken anyway from Hoseok, or the other way round, but nonetheless they are separated. Jimin’s short film denotes a similar atmosphere to Hoseok’s, in that they are both in isolation, somewhere away from other people and they are being watched. Jimin is shown a number of cards, shrugs at the first one (which is the same as Begin, and in the context of Not Today, Jimin has no hard feelings towards Jungkook, even perhaps he understands Jungkook has moved on and feels similar) before looking down at his lap, then falls backwards into a different sequence when shown the second. The second is also the one which we see concluding his short film, so my assumption is that this is meant to represent himself. So he falls back into his usual fate--his true self beyond the impersonal questions anyone can ask him; then he is shown a card inscribed with Eva all over – Hoseok? He reaches to the bed next to him, an empty, empty bed, and we see pills retracting from the glass like in Mama. He is then taken into a new sequence with his song, and we hear a gunshot at some point; in Demian, Sinclair was shot when he fought in the war, and found Demian in the bed next to him. Is, then, Hoseok feigning his illness so he can see Jimin again? I understand that is quite a…farfetched idea, like a lot of mine are, but I don’t think it should be ignored. Coming back to edit this after the Not Today MV, this signifies quite a bit. I’m still confused after Not Today came out as I am overthinking quite a lot of it, but I will explain my thoughts on that later on. Back to Hoseok and Jimin, they have both been taken away from each other in medical facilities, losing their sense of love as they are left cold, and, in the case of Jimin, out in the open.

So, last pairing, Yoongi and Jungkook. I’ve already spoken quite a bit about Jungkook’s short film, so I’ll now go into depth on Yoongi’s. The narrative is a little more obvious here, but there’s still a lot left unsaid. Yoongi is so in love with the piano that he will break in to play one, yet when he plays he loses interest, but then is drawn out of the shop by a whistle – the same one we heard in Begin – into the road. Now, the next bit is obviously the climax of the piece because a car speeds towards Yoongi, and he dodges at the last minute. We hear no sound immediately which indicates impact with another being, but after the vehicle collides with the shop, there are streaks of blood coating the floor. Another thing to note: there is a hand sticking out the window and holding the top of the frame as it goes past Yoongi. My thoughts are immediately back to the blood on Taehyung’s hands. Could this be it? He then runs back to the shop, back to his piano, back to his first love, but the piano is burning. I think, this could be interpreted as the idea that Yoongi is so desperately searching for comfort, but when he finds it, it does not stay for long. I believe Jungkook was the first one to find maturity, despite his age, so this shows that Yoongi is looking for Jungkook, so desperately, but he’s gone. Matured. There is also their sequence in Run too, where Yoongi is intoxicated and Jungkook is hugging him, wanting him to just stop. But he doesn’t and Jungkook punches him. Now, coming back to write this just after the Not Today MV has been released, I can already see that many people are going to believe that the drawing with blood on it in begin is Yoongi ‘shot’, but I don’t think that’s the assumption to come to. Jungkook punches Yoongi and there is blood on the stairs – I think that is what the blood splatter is supposed to show. Not a gun shot. I also believe that, yes, perhaps Jungkook was hit by the car, although it was not fatal. Like the piano burning, as Yoongi walks away from his first love, his first best friend, he loses Jungkook. Jungkook is hit by a car and he matures from then on. Yoongi is left behind. But there is also a sense of regret, especially in Begin. He wakes up from a nightmare about the incident, only to fall back into another one, plagued by imagery of Yoongi. I think he is saddened and feels like he has betrayed Yoongi by moving onto maturity, he sees that Yoongi has fallen into self destructive habits by setting a room on fire with gasoline, all while he is inside. Jungkook doesn’t want to accept this. He shakes his head while calling for his hyung, calling for him to stop, and then the wings distract him. As I’ve already mentioned these present the image of Taehyung, Jungkook sees more of his friends suffering. The drawing, before of Yoongi, turns into a bird, much like the kind of bird used to present the imagery of Sinclair maturing in Demian.

And for Spring Day, Jungkook thinks he is riding this train away from Omelas on his own. He sits in the carriage on his own, until the end, where he stirs from his rest and his hyungs are all with him at their destination. It’s not their final destination, as the shoes Jimin’s been holding all through the MVs are tied to the tree. I feel like this video explains the idea of the shoes better than I could ever of had, and I’ve seen a lot about the Sewol ferry disaster and spring day being a tribute that while the high school students may have never peaked to maturity and adulthood, they will not be forgotten. I know BTS like to delve into social issues, but I don’t think that they have intentionally isolated this incident. They might have intended to show this through their message of this youth will end and all will be okay concept, but there is still more to talk about, in terms of BTS’ concept and not including the Sewol ferry disaster, as, alike the creator of the video I linked, I am also hesitant to jump to the conclusion that this is exactly what they are trying to show. We know in the BST teaser pictures, Jin wasn’t wearing any shoes, and at the end of the Spring Day MV, there are only six people standing there instead of seven. Was Jin, somehow, left behind? Never there to begin with? The one who died (I know I have said I don’t think this is a matter of death in theories, but I’m not going to completely ignore it), and his spirit is living with them and, like the lilies the white shoes are symbolising that the soul of the departed has received restored innocence after death? Where he was sick in Awake, has he finally reached peace through death? Or has he moved on from them. Mature still, but left them behind as friends to find a new beginning. Like spring, Jin moving on does not have to be the definite end and then a beginning, but rather an awakening. He has lived through youth in every other season, but in spring, he is surrounded by something different: something, or somewhere, he was meant to be.

I also feel like I need to address Blood Sweat and Tears a little more for complete clarity – the line which sees the music video to a halt “he too, was a tempter. He too, was a link to the second: the evil world with which I no longer wanted anything to do,” along with everyone but Taehyung and Jin staying behind as the rest run out of the museum, the museum with which the painting “the fall of the rebel angels” is held in. My idea of this is that leaving the museum (Omelas) is them maturing, them avoiding the fate of falling as the angels of youth and rebellion – Icarus is also heavily hinted (if you do not know the story of Icarus, it is one of a boy who flew too close to the sun, on wings of wax, when he was too exhilarated by the thought of flying to remember his father’s warning, and plummeted into the sea), perhaps showing that if they continue to challenge maturity until they cannot go any further, they will fall. The wings they are given with the chance to fly out of from immaturity will melt. Taehyung, in this instance, is the tempter. He does not follow the rest, but stays with Jin and pulls him further into the idea that only youth is where he can be happy, hence, in Jin’s short film, there is “a bird fighting its way out the egg” and “who would be born must first destroy a world”, the egg, or world, is the one that Jin has been drawn into by Taehyung. If we want to take the religious incantations of Abraxas, too, we could say Taehyung doesn’t have to be a fallen angel. If Abraxas is the god of the Devil and God we know, then Abraxas recognizes both good and bad. There are no angels like other gods have, angels without free will. Taehyung could very easily be an angel of Abraxas. So, why did he lose his wings then? Because he started to only see bad when his friends left him. If the other members were his ‘wings’, the good side of life, when they have matured he is left in the immaturity where, for the lack of a better phrase, everything is shit. In his eyes, it is not fair, but isn’t Abraxas meant to be the god who is fairer? So he rebels. Rebels against the god of fairness because his situation is, by far, unfair. And he flew too close to the sun. He knows what he is bringing Jin into is bad, but when even his own God cannot be fair to him, there is a blur in his perception of moralities. He is the one who gives Jin the statue to kiss. By Jin kissing the statue, he is sympathising with Taehyung and staying with him, because Taehyung has tempted him into the idea that only all can be good when the rest of them were there at the time of youth. That is the world Jin must destroy before he can be with the rest of them. And I’ve already mentioned the wings representing Taehyung in begin, but yet again, Taehyung is the tempter.

This also relates to the many apples placed in the Wings era – like Adam and Eve, the apple, or, the forbidden fruit, is something the snake tempts them to take a bite of. In awake, the apple is on Jin’s plate but he does not eat it. He does not want to accept that there is a difference between good and bad: he heavily considers it, but in the end, he drops it on the floor. Jimin, in Lie, takes a bite out of his apple, freeing himself from the ‘lie’ he has caught himself in. The ideal life of youth untainted. In BST, we also see Yoongi and Jimin sat opposite to each other in a room, Jimin is holding an apple and Yoongi is holding a blindfold. Does Jimin realise the dangers of youth first, and help Yoongi? They are paired together in the short films, after all.

Talking of the pairings in the Wings transitions – Hoseok and Taehyung. Now, unlike Jimin and Yoongi, and Namjoon and Jungkook, Hoseok is not in a room with anyone else. In fact, the only interaction he has is the beginning with Taehyung, and later on alluded that the arrow he shoots splatters paint against Taehyung’s profile. In Mama, Hoseok pulls feathers out of the walls and becomes almost terrified at the sight of them – I know this could be overanalyzing again, but it could also be meant as a double meaning as well as Jimin. I think Hoseok knows what Taehyung is doing. He doesn’t want his friend to fall too far into this hole the murder of his father has launched him into. But Hoseok cannot help him because he is elsewhere (matured? In his own hell? In Mama? I’m not too sure) and he is living with the guilt that he can tear the feathers from Taehyung’s wings, but cannot bring him up. Icarus flew too close to the sun and his father could not save him, after all.

Another thing I question is if the order of which they exit the museum, is the order of which they mature. Jungkook and Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin and Yoongi, and then Taehyung and Jin. According to everything else I’ve taken into account, it seems reasonable, yet as to why Hoseok seems secluded from the others in context of Spring Day too, I am unsure.

I guess I have to bring Not Today into this now, too. I don’t think anyone was shot. I think it was what it could have been, since Jungkook’s eye in the shot of him seeing him standing while the others have fallen is not his eye in that moment. What happened is “not today”. It’s what would have happened if BTS didn’t leave Omelas and stayed there until youth came as the death of them. Reality would have caught up with them. As for the formation of their running, I think it makes a lot of sense for it to be like it is. Jungkook leads, and Jin and Taehyung are just behind him because, in a way, those two are the ones closest to peaking maturity before they fall into the ideologies that youth is home and happiness. One thing I have noticed, however, is that it doesn’t appear Namjoon was “shot”. Whether this is a case of he should have been when filming the MV, I don’t think Bighit would have made that mistake, so I believe that the time from which that could have been is on the timeline where Namjoon and Jungkook were the only ones who had made it out of Omelas and on the train we see them on at the beginning of Spring Day.

One thing I am very sure of, however, is that BTS will take this concept further. I hope they do. I hope I can continue to question every detail because honestly, I find it fun. It’s something different. I’m a literature enthusiast who nerds out over essays, so obviously this is something I would enjoy. BTS have shown us the ways they can take this concept further and the potential it has, and I really hope they do. If anyone wants to talk about this theory/stream of consciousness, then please do. And If anyone wants me to go into depth about certain characters/pairings/concepts, then I would more than happily do so. This is such a wonderful idea, and I am unbelievably proud.

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