#Dick is playing and he picks Kitana

[starlooove]

Enough Mario Kart, who’s their MK main??

[odditycircus-2002]

This is the same anon who sent you the reaction requests to several music videos as well as the Outworlders stumbling upon an Adult store and I had another reaction request for you. Could you please do a reaction of Medusa Reader and Syzoth accidentally stumbling upon an adult website like Pornhub and watching several videos with the volume set on high so when Johnny and several of the Outworlders as well as a few Earthrealm fighters drop in on them everyone's just having a massive freakout trying to understand what's going on. You wrote how both of them like to watch random videos online whenever they're with Johnny and they just happened to see a link to a video so they check it out not thinking much and after watching several videos they badger Johnny with questions as well and they even get inspired by some videos to try out on their partners later on and both Ashrah and Baraka quietly thank Johnny without telling him why they're thanking him.

A/N: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You always come up with the FUNNIEST scenarios!!! Hope you don’t mind headcanons and your request slightly altered in minor ways😂

To set the scene, you and Syzoth were in your dressing room in between shoots for Johnny’s latest movie project. One that’s somewhat more physically demanding than either you or your Zaterran friend anticipated. Primarily because of how Johnny keeps demanding dozens of multiple takes for a lot of fighting scenes until he deems it just right. Honestly, it can be tedious.

So now that you and Syzoth had some downtime, you decided to pull out one of the magical devices (this one an iPad), Johnny Cage, which was confiscated initially from you. Immediately you start looking up the sequel to the Predator movie Cage showed you and Syzoth.

"Why would you look up more of that Predator film?"

"Because I found it rather fun to watch despite how frightening it was. You don't have to watch if you don't want to."

Syzoth eventually joins you in watching since, at first, it seemed more like one of Johnny's movies. However, you and Syzoth didn't know how many sketchy ads pop up when using one of these pirating sites. One of these ads includes a woman with her butt front and center looking over her shoulder. You and Syzoth weren't surprised by this as much as you were irritated since it blocked you from seeing the movie. Of course, you go to push the x button to delete the advertisement; however, it was tiny, and so the ad took you both away from your movie to an adult film site.

You're immediately greeted by a plethora of naked women being pleasured by muscular men in every way imaginable. Syzoth shouts at you for clicking the site as he attempts to exit, but the device doesn't quite pick up his heat signature needed to interact with it. So Syzoth just ended up selecting a video about a student wanting their swimming instructor's big dick.

You don't know why you and Syzoth sat through the 40-minute video, nor why you both continued to watch the next one and then the next one, then another. You hypothesized it was because you and Syzoth wanted to absorb how to please your partners, or it was akin to a train wreck. This is true for everyone else, although to varying degrees. See, you and Syzoth were watching the video at full volume, so anyone who passes by your dressing room would be able to hear every moan, whimper, and cry of ecstasy.

When Mileena and Tanya passed by while the video was playing, Mileena immediately stopped dead in her tracks as her entire face turned red when hearing a woman's voice begging for more. Tanya didn't have any of it and immediately turned her Empress around in the opposite direction before walking away.

Kitana lingers for a bit at the sounds, but walks away mortified when hearing you and Syzoth with said noises and thinking that you must be cheating your partners.

Li Mei shouts over the noise that Cage wants you and Syzoth on set soon and to cut that racket out. Also, it is a reminder that public indecency is a crime. You open the door to apologize to Li Mei and promise to turn it down. Li Mei doesn't assume the worst with you, seeing as you and Syzoth have no wrinkle of fabric out of place, and the room smells the same as the other dressing rooms. Syzoth does turn invisible out of embarrassment, though.

However, unlike Li Mei, Johnny Cage does assume the worst especially when you both speak

"I'm not sure we should be doing this, Y/N. I mean, what if we get caught?"

"The door is locked, which should give us some privacy."

Johnny being a bro to Baraka and Ashrah, immediately breaks down the door after hearing all of that.

"WHAT IN THE FUCK YOU TWO!? I-"

Johnny's accusations die in his throat when he gets a good look at the porn video playing on the IPad he lent you, with every noise of flesh slapping flesh echoing in the now silent room. You're the first to break the silence.

"So Cage, I have a few questions about-"

"NOPE!"

Johnny then turns around and walks the fuck away from the room. But then turns around to swipe the iPad from you again. He states that the next time you have it back, there's gonna be full parental controls on it. Then, the action star runs out when Syzoth tries to inquire about the videos he saw.

A few months after you and Syzoth stumble upon those porn videos, Johnny Cage is once more in Outworld for some research for his next project and to shoot some of the locations. When he ran into Ashrah, she seemed to be on cloud nine, more or less. Cage thought it was because the former demon was closer to absolution. The action star, now director, finds himself dumbfounded when Ashrah shakes his hand with a grateful smile on her face, stating that Cage has her deepest gratitude. Johnny is left even MORE befuddled when he later runs into Baraka, who just gives him a curt nod with a slow blink of his eyes.

What Johnny didn't know was that you and Syzoth took what you learned from those porn videos and applied them to your respective partners. You don't know about Syzoth, but you can confidently say you have no regrets about stumbling upon those sites if it meant bringing Baraka to Nirvana in ways you could never have initially thought of.

[polygon-streams]

April 30, 2019 - Mortal Kompat Story Mode Part 3

Content warnings: blood, gore, graphic violence, character death

Link to VOD

Summary: Pat plays Mortal Kombat 11 for the third time, making a good amount of progress and learning new things about the characters

Pat has maintenance workers over, has some sink problems. Issue is that water leaks thru his ceiling when his neighbor takes showers

Doesn’t know who he mains on Mortal Kombat anymore

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE!!!!!!!! (mod MikeAM)

Pat has TWO CANS of drinks tonight (very fizzy)

Does NOT own jorts, “I’m not a jortsman, I’m not allowed to wear jorts” (I think this is a lie), “No jorts allowed, I shall not wear jorts. I wear jants (jean pants).” (This is true)

Pat will NOT install a fart toilet

Drinking a rattler tonight

Babycakesclaire gifted a sub to T-Pain [Watch Clip]

Says people made fun of him for saying “T-Pain” in his Polygon video so many times, says it was a grounding thing to help himself [Watch Clip]

Favorite song by TPain is U Up off of the new album

Says he “has the bad audio”, restarts the stream

Plays as Jax, doesn’t know his combos but figures them out

Asks chat if they would prefer big metal arms or big metal legs; Pat would have legs for The Kick™️

Gives a recap of the plot, says the word “mommy” a lot (that’s just how he is and I accept him)

Likes fight choreo, thinks they hire many professional people to do it

Jacqui is awesome

First Piss clip of the stream

Says “Dad fight dad fight dad fight” as the two versions of Jax fight each other

“I know all my moves, haha!......actually I don’t know any of my moves”

Mains as Jax just to do powerbombs

“This is a stupid looking hat, I’m sorry it’s a dumb looking hat. She deserves a better hat,” at Jacqui’s (sp????) hat.

Someone played Slow Yoshi in the middle of a fight

Jacqui’s dad betrayed her then disappeared. Pat: dads are complicated

Evil lady puts hat on, her power only grows stronger

Chat makes a lot of “I can’t believe you’ve done this” jokes

Pat opens a can of fizzy drink, chat alternates between making “ASMR” and “piss” jokes. Some folley ones too

Game talks about a character “I don’t know who the fuck Kharon is”

Characters descends like spider through the ceiling “oh. Ew.”

Pat makes an “I can’t believe you’ve done this” reference

The two Scropions fight. Pat: “God it’s me but stronger”

Pat wins the first round: “It’s a big fishy”

Gets attacked by other Scorpion w a good combo, wants to learn how to do that

Chat compliments Pat on his Scorpion playing abilities

Pat said he’s going to learn how to main Scorpion and Jax in this MK game. Mained Scorpion in last one

“Be a dude, not a dick”

Scorpion is killed by D’Vorah

“Nobody fuckin believes Scorpion”-- game framed Scorpion to look bad

Pat likes the frog jokes chat is making

“Hey Boy” clip played in a fight against Raiden

Raiden hits Scorpion w a blast as a “truth serum”. Pat calls it a dick move (Chat agrees)

Pat then plays as Raiden, but doesn’t want to because of how shitty he is “Cool. Nunchuck me. I deserve it”

Pat laughs at Piss clip played at a character's dramatic revelation and entrance

Pat: “I’m so confused.” So are we

There are a lot of timelines that explain costume changes

Pat needs to “check in on that toilet update real quick”

Pat as Raiden: “The only solution is that Liu Kang and I must kiss,” asks Faith to make it happen

Evil Lady makes Liu Kang disappear: “Da fuuuuuuqq?”

Chat makes norted memes

Agrees with Faith that the game “feels like fanfic”

Likes the guy who played Liu Kang in the movies; also played a guy named Ricky in another movie

“Yooooo that’s a blood boat”-- a rivaling boat comes up from the middle of the ocean

Praises actions scenes in MK; better than MCU and most action movies in general

Finally goes to check up on the toilet situation, Piss clip plays while he’s gone

Someone checked if there were Liu Kang and Raiden fanfics; apparently, there isn’t

Chat is wondering what happened to Pat’s toilet, “did he poop too hard?”

Pat comes back and asks if everyone was good (probably not)

He thought it was his roomate being a sloppy showerer, roommate asks what was up and Pat said “oh I thought it was you”. Then found water coming from lights on ceiling and got people to fix the problem

We are in the home stretch of MK, according to safetydrew

“Jax is my father”

Jax beats up a bunch of people to ‘make things right’, Pat: “Yes, yes, fuck yes”

Raiden defeats enemy, “caught and compromised” plays perfectly over the scene [Watch Clip]

Liu Kang got norted by himself (absorbed?? Into one body?? I think????)

Liu: “You will have to kill me” Raiden: “I would rather save you” Chat cheers for them to kiss

Raiden and Liu Kang fuse and become a God???? What???????????

Character rips a person’s heart out, Pat: “He just ripped his fucking hort out.” Chat spams “hort”

Super Liu floats in the sky, sends a meteor out and kills a bunch of monsters

Super Liu super punches more monsters

Time starts rewinding, Fire God Liu Kang fights Kitana, then some more people

Lots of fighting in this Mortal Kombat game

During Cetrion fight, Pat: “She just grew a tree just to nail me to it.”

Cetrion gives her soul to Big Evil Lady Mom

MikeAM advises Pat to just do a bunch of flying kicks during the boss battle

“WOW she mean, woofadoof”-- Pat @ the final boss

Pat says he will never fight with honor

Pat fails the fight, Liu Kang gets his head chopped off

Donkey Kong has Died plays as the head rolls (We’ve unlocked the basketball timeline)

Pat thinks about trying the easier mode if he fails a few more times

Hops into the settings to turn on easy mode

Evil Lady (Kronica) turned into Johnny Cage in the middle of the fight??

Fire God Liu Kang and Evil lady go up to spAAACEEEE

Kronica says she’s better than Liu Kang bc he’s a god and she’s a titan?? I thought it went the other way

Pat comments on how it’s weird to have Johnny Cage fight for her at points in the battle

Pat finally wins the match, Kronica gets turned to glass and shattered. The Caught and Compromised clip plays

Now Liu Kang is in charge of watching over the Earth realm, mortal Raiden helps (“Raiden's gonna diiee”)

Game ends just like that, credits roll, Pat: “Oh that’s it, that’s how it ends?!”

Comments on how the next MK can be about literally whatever they want, bc this game set it back to square 1

Cassie apparently has a fatality where she can kick someone in the nuts and have their skeleton pop out “that’s really good”

Pat’s gonna start picking characters to learn moves of and train w them

Pat says apparently there’s three different endings. Not major changes, just is dictated by how long it takes you to defeat the final boss

He got two (2) new maps

Wants to learn the kicking people in the nuts to make their skeleton pop out lmao

“I guess I need to unlock the dick kick”

Does a fatality that involves the character getting ripped in half, then a tomato getting thrown at them

Looked up the Cassie fatality and tries it

Her opponent literally did a piss right before the fight. He really did. Pat lost that fight

Pat messed up the fatality

Decided to try to Krypt before raiding Thomas’ stream

Same actor who played Shang Tsung in the movies played him in the game. Pat geeks out

Pat says this Krypt is better than in other games bc it used to be a dungeon crawl to find things. Now, you just open chests

Pat finds a hammer, uses it to get Koins��

The raid guys should make a MK movie. Apparently the recent John Wick has them fight the raid guys

Pat doesn’t know how much he should drink before going to see the new John Wick. He’s going w Ryan at the Alamo (I assume a theatre)

Pat finds a gong and feels he must hit it with the hammer

Pat says the Krypt changes what loot it has based on what time of day you go to see it

Pat doesn’t know whether or not there’s going to be fights in this area, or if it’s just opening chests

He still thinks he’s going to work w Scorpion and Jax to get good at to learn combos (also probably Jacqui). Wants to do a group play session at some time

Charlie is sneezing!!

Pat’ll be back on Thursday (8 pm EST) with Donk Souls again (if that doesn’t work, he’ll find something else)

Charlie went up on Pat’s lap!!!

Abby streams on Tuesdays at the same time as Pat. He says you should watch both simultaneously

Sent chat to raid Thomas

End of stream

[granvarones]

i discovered poetry when i was about 15 going on 16. i was a good kid. i’ve always liked books but i was really bashful. i was super shy. i was dealing with the fact that i was growing up in this neighborhood. no one really understands me. i’m growing up in extreme poverty. coming to terms that i’m queer. i’m coming to terms that i am undocumented. so it just feels like, “damn, can you throw something else?”

i was always told that being feminine was bad. for me, being feminine was in everything that i do. it was even in how i spoke. it’s in my vocal cords. you can hear it. it not like i can hide it.

i remember that it was the other boys constantly policing me and saying, “you’re a fag cuz you talk like that” or “why do you wanna be a girl?” we would play video games and i would always pick chung lee or sonya or kitana. i was like, “yaaasss!” but it was something innate. it wasn’t something that i could hide.

even in our community as gay people, feminine people are viewed as something that is not desirable. for the longest time, i was like, in order for a guy to like me, i had to act a certain way, dress a certain way. but that’s not me. i’m a nerdy bitch.

i’m taking ownership of that femininity and being like, “yo, this is how i am.” if me being feminine intimidates you, there’s nothing i can do. i’m not going to change.

these are the common social pressures that we all face but nobody’s admitting it publicly. even the most butchest person probably feels like, “i have to perform this masculinity in order be desirable.” i don’t want to replicate that in my own community. i should be allowed to express myself the way i want to and not feel like, ya know, i’m gonna kiss dick just because i like kitana.

yosimar, he/him/his

los angeles, ca.

[smooooothjazz]

Mortal Kombat Character Survey

Okay, I made a survey and I want to know about y’all more. Please fill this out, I wanna see some Mortal Kombat love. I want to know everything from the jerks you hate to the homies you miss. I will answer this myself!!! I want to see people’s opinions. AHEM * please ?

Don’t be scared I’m judgment free. This is a judgment free zone. If you’re here to judge you can’t play in the ball pit with the big kids!

Tell me about the character you would marry- Raiden, he’s sweet and caring, and just wants to keep Earthrealm safe. He’s immortal and I’m sure it’s been a while since he’s bumped uglies. He deserves some cooch and I like to be one to to give it to him. Also, I’d love him and take care him. I’d put him first since he’s he’s always putting everyone else first.

Tell me about your favorite male character (other than who you picked to marry)- Johnny Cage. I feel like I grew up with him. He was an asshole back in the day and I was young and dumb, so I love that shit. But now that he’s older, he’s more mature and and he’s jokes are more mature. I guess we also have Cassie to thank for that. AND Johnny is a great dad. All around great character development.

I’d like to give an Honorable mention to Meat. The one year he was a playable character, he stole my heart. If he kept being in games, he would definitely be my favorite character today . Shout out to Meat, wherever you are my skinless friend.

Tell me about your favorite female character (other than who you picked to marry)- Mileena. She just misunderstood. I wish Kitana would have nice to her. She would have joined the good guys. She just needed a friend, a sister. FeelsBadMan

Tell me about your your least favorite female character- Sonya Blade, her boring military character type, is so… Boring. Also She’s a bad mom and doesn’t deserve Johnny.

Tell me about your least favorite male character- Reptile. Everytime he’s on the screen, I fall asleep.

Tell me about a character that you haven’t seen in a few games and you wish they would come back- Well, Sheeva was in that most recent game but, as non playable side character. So I wish she would be playable in this game or the next.

Tell me about someone who was in the last game who isn’t/ might not be in the new one and it bums you out- MILEENA. They did a bunch of time stuff and they couldn’t bring my misunderstood Queen back? People just hate her because she has the face of a Tarkatan. FEELSBADMAN

Tell me about your favorite Kombat kid- Jackie, even tho she was so stupid in 11. She was much better in 10, character wise. She looks better in 11 tho.

Tell me about your least favorite Kombat kid- I don’t think I have one.

Tell me about a character you feel a personal connection with- Mileena, for all the reasons I listed above.

Tell me about your favorite boss- Shao Khan. Because he the OG boss

What about your least favorite boss- Blaze. Honestly, he’s like a fever dream.

Who’s the best villain- Shao Kahn. He’s just a classic evil boss. And I was so happy to see him in the new game.

If you could have a love triangle, who would fight over you- Hmmm.. I really don’t like love triangles because I’m always clear on who I want. I may like a different person but I always know who I’m going to choose to be in a relationship with.

Who has the best fashion- Mileena. I’d like to say she was Fresh to Death. 🥴

Who would you want to teach you offensive Kombat- Hanzo. He’s such a badass. He’s the best fighter, in my mind. Teach me all your knowledge Fire Senpai.

Who would you want to teach you defensive Kombat- Sub-zero, I guess. He’s been dodging Scorpion for half of his life, so his defense seems to be really good.

Who would teach you swordsmanship- I don’t want to fight with a sword. But if I have to choose, Evil Raiden™ can teach me how to wield his lighting sword… 🤓

And who would you have teach you specialty weapons- I don’t need weapons because if I were a fighter for Earthrealm I’d have some cool powers. But if I really needed a weapon, I’d ask Lui Kang to teach me the ways of the Nunchucks.

Would you join the White Lotus Society, Lin Kuei, special forces, Shirai Ryu, red dragon, black dragon, brotherhood of Shadow, Kotal Kahns team or Mileena’s- The White Lotus Society of course. 😎

Which realm would you prefer to live in- Earthrealm all day baby!

Any ships you like- RAIDEN AND I!… But seriously, I love Liu Kangs and Kitana. They belong together.

Any ships you don’t like- Reptile and anyone.

Get creative, if you were a ninja what would your code name be and what color- Fam. There’s too many ninjas.. The took all the good ideas and colors.

Would you have besties and allies- Yes. Jackie would be my bestie. And I’d long for Mileena to be my bestie and ally. So I’d try to ally with her.

What about your enemies- Even tho Noob Saibot has such a cool name he’d be my enemy because he’s a dick. I’d find a way to un-exist Reptile. Ermac gotta go for ripping off Jax’ arms. Of course, Shao Kahn. I’ll have fun killing him.

Good, evil, neutral, chaotic neutral- Good

Anyone you would date but it wouldn’t work out- Hanzo. Because my heart belongs to the one true Senpai, Raiden

Who would you want as a parental figure- Johnny Cage. He’s a good dad. 10/10 recommend as a parent.

Who do you get advice from- Raiden. So wise and so hot.

Who would you want to see more fanfiction on- Senpai Raiden. We need more Smut about him. No one mentions how ridiculously tall he is. He’s SEVEN Feet Tall. I have a thing for height, so finding that out about him has done things to me. He’s sweet and very Smart. And just wants to do right by Earthrealm. He deserves to get get his dick wet. #GiveRaidenSomeCoochie

@imakuaibaby

[chiripepe]

Brazilian players have not gotten better. Their internet connection has gotten better but the wow factor is gone. I remember 3 years into MK9 being out swinging dick with my Kitana online like yes bitch I have the best Kitana on PSN (debatable, but I stand by it), who the FUCK is coming for ME?? I wasn’t even scared of Sonya.

Out comes poto22 with a Sonya out of the left field I wasn’t prepared for or even imagined. He beat my ass up and down like 6 matches in a row I had to TAP OUT. He messaged me like why did you leave? LOL Why? Cuz I didn’t know Sonya was the best rushdown character in this game. I had no idea. He liked my Kitana too, he wasn’t even hating.

Poto MADE Sonya. After he came out with that Sonya everyone and their mom picked her up. Even the Johnny Cage players graduated to Sonya. They were never as good as him tho. It was clear that was her main. He picked her up, learned all her normals by heart, max damage, setups, everything. This was massive back then because frame data was never officially released by NRS so he did with his Sonya what all the best players did with their main and it showed.

In MK9 there was NO CHANCE if that bitch was right next to you. I hated and still hate zoning to this day but I would not take the chance up close because she could outright beat all of Kitana’s closeup options, she had no chance in hell.

Anyway, where are the potos? Where are they? All these Brazilians play Noob now and shitty Noobs at that,.