#Dib just found out about about them when he was a smeet and was like
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embarasseddragon234 · 2 years ago
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If Dib was an adult instead of a smeet things would have gone MUCH differently(Aka, human!Zim gets a new dad. Whether he wants it or not.)
Tallest Gaz is not amused by her sibling's co-leader's antics, and Zim is probably gonna stab him, let's be honest with ourselves here
also ties in to a headcanon i have about normal Dib where he goes absolutely buck wild about cute things once he gets older
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blazing--comet · 1 year ago
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WE GETTIN OUTTA ART BLOCK SLOWLY !!!!!! I think I just needed to take a break from drawing Zim and Dib SPECIFICALLY they were ALL I DREW for um . Possibly the whole summer and start of school as a coping mech BUT I HAVE SO MANY OTHER IZ OCS/CHARACTERS TO FOCUS ON !!!!!! love zimmie and dibert douglas membrane but I hit an art stump BUT AFTER A FEW DAYS OF MOSTLY DOING OTHER CHARAS ILL BE ABLE TO RETURN BACK TO THEM . OH YEAH !!!!
BY THE WAY ......... these are my OCs.... IF IT WASNT OBVIOUS ALREADY BAHAHAHAH BUT BASICALLY !!! LONG STORY SUMMARY :
The Irken is named Swyn (she her) !! She's Miyuki's clone in my au :3 (one of multiple ... But I'm still figuring out that concept SO‼️🗣️) She was made off planet using Miyuki's DNA after her death, and her creator (some random smeet scientist I haven't worked on) got caught(you aren't allowed to make Irken smeets without permission off planet or at ALL because Irk is stinky and full of poop head control brains BTW all Irkens are asexual so don't be weird) AND SWYN GOT ABANDONED ON ACCIDENT !! it's okay thougjt because..... INSERT DRUM EXCITABLD SOUJD HERE.... TENN FOUND HER !!! she adopted Swyn along with her gf Tak , and THEY ARE A HAPPY LITTLE FSMILY !!! Sizz Lorr is there too because he is Tak's adopted father 🫡 found family FOREVER .
The second alien in the comic is named Meer (she they) !!!! She's a Fluxative (IZ OC species), a species of REALLY GOOD shapeshifters . However , the Irken Empire killed most of them in an Invasion. My Irken scientist OC, Nova(not shown or mentioned in the comic) who is Zim, Tenn, and Skoodge's Unit Sibling finds Meer when Meer is a literal smeet baby thing and takes her in to take care of her, and when Nova is assigned to RESEARCH *NOT* invade Irk, she brings Meer with her caude Meer is like her daughger :333
When Swyn is like 16 (I am a believer in Irkens aging like humans just with longer lifespans and I can and will defend my point) she and every Irken that lives on Irk finds out she's Miyuki's clone, and of course she's not very upset, but now has the pressure of living up to Miyuki's legacy, which would be extra difficult, since Miyuki was the VERY BEST TALLEST in IRKEN HISTORY.
Tallest Sleedge ( she her , also the main Tallest at the time in my au) essentially peer pressured Swyn to become Tallest as well, due to Swyn being almost exactly like MIYUKI was in ALL WAYS . Miyuki was something the Empire needed again. But Swyn is very conflicted on it....... SO YEAH !!!! skipped over a lot of things but that's SORTA WHAT THJS COMIC IS ABOUT
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dr-mothman · 2 years ago
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I have a DaTf brain rot where they are partners in crime so deal with it. Headcanons:
Evil Team by CG5 is the first song that comes in mind with these two. That's their relationship.
Their partnership happened after Gaz and Zim joined forces.
They sometimes fight about who gets to destroy Zim. They come to the agreement that Dib will Vivisect him and then Tak will kill him.
Tak has a base at the forest after coming back to Earth. They hang out there.
Regarding the other hc, the Membrane household is almost always empty due to PM going to work, Gaz hanging with Zim and Dib hanging with Tak.
Tak is mildly interested in magic since there is no such thing in the rest of the universe. Not the she would admit it, she just gathers info from facts Dib says randomly.
Tak is not stupid nor in denial most of the time, she knows the tallest abandoned her like they did with Zim. She erased and destroyed all chips and commands of orders from the Irken empire in her pak.
She also made a pak for Dib. And she sure did turn on the hormone repressants so he doesn't grow up anymore.
The reason for the latter is because she thinks it's funny to see him mad about it.
Tak is pretty tall for the age she is disguising as. She stands at about 5'4" while Dib is 4'7"
Even if she let Dib grow, he would hit puberty late but it would hit HARD.
Tak allowed Dib to see blueprints of Irken tech and some science projects thinking he wouldn't understand them. Oh how wrong she was. He now understands even more about Irken science and tech than her. And she is actually impressed and fascinated.
Dib teaches her about Earth's climate, foods, etc. Tak was horrified when she discovered there were like more than 100+ languages and dialects.
He teaches her Spanish.
Tak was also shocked when she found out Dib would be like- technically the ruler of his planet in the future. It came even more as a surprise the knowledge that he didn't want to be that. Well, at least not in that way, he just didn't like the job. But the idea of contributing to the planet and people adoring him was a dream of his.
Tak: why is your planet's history so boring?
Dib: oh, no. It's not that boring. They just erase the funny and interesting parts from the main education because it's not important to them. The drama is pretty cool lol
Tak: Why would they do such cruel thing to smeets. This is horrid. Why would they cut the good parts
Tak obv flies her ship. And the ship is glad.
She gives me big sister and mentor vibes ngl.
Dib does her eyeliner from time to time. He nails it. He also curls her antenna if she is in the mood for it.
"What do you mean that's not an antenna? Is it your hair? It's a WHAT"
Me thinks it's all... For now...
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rancoeur-the-unfortunate · 3 years ago
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Pills (Chapter 29)
(Hello everyone, Rancoeur here. I know it's been a while since I last updated this book and I am truly sorry about that. But it's been so long since I've seen Zim or have even read fanfics about it. So in a way I sorta fell out of love with it. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop updating this though. This book is a monument to how my writing has evolved over the years and is my pride and joy. I will finish it, even if it kills me. It will be awesome and I can't wait for it. Thank you for reading this and please accept this 3300-word chapter as my apology. I know it's a little short and I did want to add more stuff to it but then it just looked bloated and I didn't like that. I hope everyone is staying safe out there. Have a nice day.)
Monday morning, Dib slowly got out of bed and stretched as his alarm clock rang. The boy rubbed his eyes softly before grabbing his glasses from the nightstand and put them on his nose after turning off the said clock. He glanced outside, noticing the dark clouds coming in, and sighed.
"Already looks pretty gross out there," he muttered to himself before he started to get dressed for school.
Honestly, it felt weird to sleep on a bed after sleeping in a tent for a week. Aside from just being comfier it kinda felt... lonely. Like someone was missing.
The boy shook his head as he slid on his coat and began the trek downstairs to greet Gaz and his father. Another rare day of eating with the Professor.
"Hey dad, hey Gaz," he smiled a bit and went to the fridge to grab some juice. When he grabbed what he wanted he pulled back and shut the fridge, only to find his dad right behind him holding a new device to his head. He reeled back in surprise, "dad?!"
His dad smiled at him and waved him off, "no need to worry son, I was just testing out this new invention I'm making on you. Says here your serotonin levels are higher than usual. You must be in a good mood!"
Dib gave his dad a nervous smile and laugh before backing away to the table where his sister was eating with one hand while simultaneously playing her new game with the other.
"Yeah, you haven't mumbled about killing Zim all morning. What's wrong with you?" She spoke between bites of cereal.
"I don't know, I guess I'm just too tired to think about killing Zim," Dib shrugged as he poured himself a bowl.
"That's bull and we both know it. You talk about capturing Zim in your sleep, I can hear it in my room," Gaz tossed a glare his way before going back to her game.
Dib rolled his eyes, "whatever." He muttered as he began eating.
Still, he couldn't help but feel a strange sensation in his chest.
Zim tentatively stepped out of his home. The Dib had told him that the skool children had already forgotten about the drugs, but he still felt fear. Like there were still eyes following him as he marched down the sidewalk. A feeling of uneasiness seemed to wash over him.
Eventually, the blocky, grey building came into view. A few children were loitering about, waiting for the bell to ring. Not wanting to draw attention to himself, Zim just sat on a bench and waited alongside them. Only observing them slightly.
Humans were weird on Mondays, Zim had no idea why though. Something about that particular day of the week seemed to drain all of the energy from the weird meat bags. One kid looked like he was about to fall on his face from exhaustion.
Down the street, he spotted the Dib and his little sister. A part of Zim was fearful. Now that everything had gone relatively back to normal, would Dib go back to trying to expose him?
When the two entered the skool's grounds, they separated. Gaz went to sit on the steps, playing her video game. While  Dib glanced about, when he looked his way, the human... smiled at him.
Causally Dib stepped closer and closer until the two were only a few feet apart. There was a moment of silence between them, both of them just staring at each other. It was obvious they both wanted to say something but neither knew how.
Eventually, Dib sighed and spoke a little quietly, "hey uh... can I sit here?" The boy gestured to the spot on the bench next to Zim.
Zim looked surprised for a moment before he crossed his arms and looked away with his usual snark before quipping a quick, "you may."
Dib chuckled to himself, "same old Zim." He said as he sat down beside the green alien.
With that, the two sat in silence once more, the two of them just looking down at the skoolyard. Humans shuffling about like zombies, waiting for something to happen. Eventually, Zim slumped out of his uptight posture and looked down in his lap, fiddling with his thumbs.
It was Dib who once again broke the silence, "so, what evil plan is it this time?"
Zim looked up at the human in surprise, "eh?"
"You know, to take over the world and all that?" Dib smirked and leaned close, "or did you forget your mission."
Zim immediately perked up and sneered in disgust, "of course not! And to answer your first question. WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW!" He shouted that last part accidentally as he pointed an accusatory finger at the boy.
Dib just laughed, clutching his stomach as Zim tried to regain his composure. Zim couldn't help but giggle to himself slightly.
"In all seriousness," Zim started once the two had calmed down. "I don't know... I know I have a mission. But at the same time, that mission was given to me by them." Zim found himself glaring at his own hands. He clenched them into fists.
"It feels so strange, to have a purpose one second only to realize that purpose was only given to you to get you out of the way. And now that I see past all their lies I... I don't know. I have no idea what I should be doing, or what my purpose is now or what I'm even still doing on Earth." Zim sighed and closed his eyes, he knew Dib was looking at him, either pitying him or laughing at his distress.
Instead, he felt a hesitant hand on his shoulder. Zim looked up at Dib who was giving him a comforting yet awkward smile before pulling his hand back and sitting properly.
"If we're being truthful right now I guess I'll be straight with you," Dib spoke as he laid back on the bench and looked up at the sky. "The main reason why I wanted to help you was because I was hoping you'd leave once you realized what your mission was." Dib hummed to himself.
"But now that you're off your drugs and ready to leave... I..." Dib paused, "Don't get me wrong, I still hate your guts." He huffed but then frowned, "but the thought of you leaving now... it just doesn't sit well with me." Dib admitted.
"Funny how the one I considered my worst enemy could become someone I might even call my..." Dib paused again and looked at Zim with an emotion ZIm couldn't decern, "friend."
Zim stared at Dib in complete silence, 'friend?' Dib smiled slightly before going back to looking at the cloudy sky.
Three minutes passed before Zim opened his mouth, "Dib I-" Before he could finish the ever-piercing sound of the bell rang, cutting him off. Simultaneously, Zim was both annoyed and grateful for the interruption.
"Well I guess we'll finish this talk some other time," the human spoke grabbed his bag, and got up. "I'll see you later Zim," Dib gave one last smile before waving goodbye and walking away towards the school building.
It was then that it hit Zim, he'd never seen Dib smile so much before. The boy seemed genuinely happy in Zim's company. It felt so strange, a foreign feeling, a feeling he hadn't felt since, "Skoodge."
Suddenly it felt like all the air had left Zim's respiratory organs and he fell to his knees on the ground. Tears were building in his eyes until eventually, the dam broke, and he started sobbing loudly. Trying and failing to gasp for air. His cardiac spooch felt like it was being squeezed like a stress toy. It hurt and Zim was just figuring out why.
All alone in the Skool courtyard, Zim was crying. Crying like a long-forgotten smeet. Eventually, the Irken just laid down on his side curled into a ball. How could he? What was wrong with him?! How could he have hurt Skoodge like that?! His best friend! His partner! His mate!
How could he have hurt someone so close to him, so one who had seen him at both his best and his worst?
The tears wouldn't stop.
Eventually, his thoughts went back to Dib, the human who even despite their mutual hatred for one another still sought to help him. To get him off those horrid drugs and saw him as a... a friend.
Suddenly it felt like time itself had stopped. A friend.
Zim had a friend. Quietly the little alien stood up and whipped his eyes. He found himself staring up at the sky, just as Dib had. The clouds seemed to have gotten darker, it was likely going to rain soon.
He should probably get inside-
A hand came out from behind him and covered his mouth roughly, cutting off his thoughts as he went into a panic. That was before it all went dark.
"So uh... what is it exactly?" Tallest Purple asked a hand on his chin as he inspected the strange being before him, keeping his distance of course.
"A Murthen, my Tallest, female, foot soldier class." The Doctor spoke, his back upright and arms tucked neatly behind his back as he gave a quick bow.
They all stood on the bridge of the Massive. The two Tallest were near the controls while the Doctor and his captive stood at the other end of the bridge. Behind the Doctor stood Skoodge, the little Irken was practically sweating bullets as he clutched Raz's egg. He kept his mouth shut, but every time he even glanced at the Murthen or her collar it felt like another ton of weight was added to his shoulders.
"A Murthen?" Tallest Red gave a confused and disgusted look at the blue figure, "ok...but what's it doing on our ship."
"I believe she will be a great help to our mission to subdue Zim. Despite her lower rank, she is incredibly capable and has experience in both war and combat.
"I mean, so did Tak," Tallest Purple crossed his arms.
The Doctor actually laughed and it was the most haunting thing anyone in the room had ever heard. "Oh, my Tallest, Raz here, is certainly no Tak, trust me."
"I don't even trust the way you just said trust me," Purple muttered in the background as Tallest Red stepped forward.
"Murthen, Murthen where have I heard that name before?" He squinted his eyes at Raz as Tallest Purple stepped behind him, "was it a planet we conquered."
"I assure you my Tallest, Murth most likely will never be claimed," the Doctor hummed.
'He seems so sure of himself,' Skoodge thought.
"Why's that?" Tallest Red asked skeptically.
"This is why," the Doctor spoke as he raised his hand and snapped his fingers.
Before anyone had any idea what was going on, Raz raised her arm, showing a previously concealed weapon. She aimed it at one of the foodservice drones and fired and a blue beam-like laser shot out.
"AHHHHHH!!!" A scream ripped through the room as the service drone fell to the floor, the donuts he was carrying, splattering beside him. He had been shot in the lower abdomen and was clutching his melting chest in a frenzy. He was quite literally melting on the floor. Eventually, he fell silent as he collapsed on the floor, smoke coming off his body.
The two Tallest jumped back in fear, "WHAT IN THE US WAS THAT?!" Purple screamed.
"Show them," The Doctor gestured to the two with his head.
Raz held out the gun, displaying it in front of the two leaders. It was small and compact, not unlike the blasters the Irkens used. This one however was silver with a grey handle, on the sides of the round barrel were tempered glass that displayed a blue liquid.
"This is just a ground soldier-grade weapon. Yet it has the capabilities to destroy Irken armies. It's filled with a chemical compound known as H2O aka water. Due to our solubility when an Irken comes in contact with it, we tend to melt. However, that's not everything. The water is also mixed with a compound only found in Murthen waters, it is known as Gr4F8 aka Blue Gix. Mixed with water it lowers the boiling point to room temperature and creates energy in the form of light and heat. This creates the beam you just witnessed. This gun alone could destroy our entire empire and that's not even half of it." The Doctor nodded toward Raz and she lowered the gun.
"This is the kind of weaponry that can be expected on Murth, that is why we can not conquer it yet. I'm sure with a bit of studying we could find a way to make ourselves immune to this but until then. We'll just have to leave Murth unconquered. At the moment, however, I believe we should get back to the topic of Zim."
"R-right right, Zim," Tallest Red stuttered, trying to keep his composer. "Are you sure she's fit for the job?"
"Oh my Tallest, you have no idea," the Doctor smiled that irksome smile of his.
"Zim won't know what hit him."
The rest of the discussion seemed to fade out for Skoodge as he stared, wide-eyed at the dead Irken before him. He had just been shot, no warning, no nothing. He was just doing his job and he was shot and then forgotten about. Like his life meant nothing.
Already some of the cleaning drones had come over, collecting the body to be disposed of. Most likely going to be tossed out of the airlock like trash.
Skoodge looked to the egg in his hands, little Mur. Every time he looked at her he just felt more and more guilty. Her carrier was being controlled against her will and he was the cause of it.
Now he had to carry her around, an actual burden on his shoulders.
"Alright then, I guess it's settled, we'll be leaving the quadrant in a few hours to start heading for Earth," Tallest Red's voice cut into Skoodges thoughts and he felt panic run through him, that means they'll be leaving Murth and Raz's family.
Before Skoodge had a chance to voice his concerns, the Doctor was already leaving with Raz in tow.
Quickly Skoodge ran after them, once they were out of the bridge and in one of the Massive's many hallways he spoke up, "Doctor! What about the egg! There's no water on the ship!"
"Your pretty good at stating the obvious," the doctor hummed, not even bothering to look at him.
"B-but-"
"Look Skoodge, I already told you. If you want the egg, you can keep it. But that makes it your problem, not mine," the Doctor growled, getting agitated by the shorter Irken's nagging.
"But Doctor!"
Suddenly the Doctor spun around and pointed glaringly at him, "no! I'm tired of hearing your squeaky insignificant voice!" He shouted, "one more word out of you and I'll reveal the secret about your lack of pills to the Tallest!"
At first, Skoodge was terrified but one look at the child, strapped to his chest and he was quick to shoot a glare of his own. "And reveal yourself?! Fat chance!"
"Oh please! you don't think I don't already have the Tallest under my thumb?!"
Skoodge paused and stared up at the Doctor wide-eyed, "what?"
"You heard me, I've had them on my drugs since day one! I have nothing to fear from them. Just like I have nothing to fear from you! You short, intolerable, idiotic, service drone!" The Doctor raised his hand to smack Skoodge only to collapse to his knee in pain. He grimaced and gripped his right leg in pain, a new bump already showing through his pants.
"Damn it!" He snarled and began to roll up his pant leg, showing the ugly lump on his calf. To even the Doctor's horror, it seemed to be splitting off into two.
"Damn things are getting worse," he muttered to himself and looked to Skoodge expectantly.
Almost on instinct, Skoodge pulled out 4 syringes from his pac only to pause before approaching.
"What the hell are you doing, help me!" The taller Irken demanded.
"No! I will do no such thing until we return Raz and her egg back home!" Skoodge demanded himself.
"And ruin your chances of taking over the control brains and getting Zim back?" The Doctor sneered, gripping his leg tighter now.
"The ends don't justify the means, Doctor!" Skoodge snarled.
"Fine," the Doctor stammered out, already looking out of breath from the pain. "W-with friends like you, who needs enemies," he growled and snapped his fingers, and Raz, who had been standing beside him stoically this whole time, tackled Skoodge.
The scariest part wasn't those sharp webbed fingers, or those strong four arms, no it was those cold eyes. Raz looked completely dead on the inside like she was just a body heading the commands of something that wasn't her. It was terrifying.
She was quick and strong as he pinned his arms and legs down before grabbing the needles from his hands and kicking him away once she got what she was after. Not even bothering to be careful about her egg, thankfully Skoodge used his own body as a shield for the fragile thing.
After that, she knelt before the Doctor and began to siphon out more of that green stuff from the lumps. She managed to get one of the lumps to go down but it seemed the remaining two syringes weren't enough to lessen the larger one. Only reduce it, as Raz got up to get more from Skoodge she was stopped by the Doctor standing up.
"Leave it, this will do for now," he hissed as he pulled his pant leg back down, hiding the bump. "And you," the Doctor glared at Skoodge.
"You're lucky I'm far too busy right now to deal with you. I do however have this to say,"  he looked down on Skoodge the lighting making him look absolutely terrifying. "If you pull that again, I'll make you watch as I dissect that egg." With that threat, the Doctor turned around and left Skoodge on the floor, Raz following obediently behind him.
Skoodge felt sick to his stomach like he was about to throw up. He clutched the egg tightly, trying desperately not to cry. How was he supposed to go on? He needed to save Zim, but at the same time, just the thought of abandoning Mur and Raz left Skoodge feeling sick.
"Oh, what do I do," Skoodge held up the egg, staring at the little Murthen inside as if she could give him an answer. What worried Skoodge was just how developed she was now. Her four arms had all formed and little pink and purple spots decorated her body, soon to make the pattern of one or both of her parents. Her eyes were slightly open now too. Revealing dark purple eyes.
"Oh Mur, you're going to hatch soon aren't you?" Tears started to form in Skoodge's eyes, "and your carrier won't even be there to witness it." Skoodge covered his mouth with one hand as he scooted to press his back against the wall in revelation, "and it's all my fault."
"I'm a monster," he whispered in horror. Just as he was about to break down, crying. Skoodge felt a shift in the egg and looked down at the little Murthlet inside. She had moved her hands from the clutched position they had before to the shell of the egg. She had just placed all four of them there and it completely mesmerized Skoodge. Four little blue hands with little webbing in between, even tiny little claws on each finger.
Skoodge felt a small blush form on his face in surprise before a small smile crept onto it as well. He placed his forehead on the shell, ignoring the slight burning sensation it caused, and smiled.
"I know I've hurt you and your family. But I swear on my life, I'll keep you safe, I promise."
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shadowofthelamp · 4 years ago
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Partners
Swap Zim and Dib decide to work together. Technically a direct sequel to this thing that was posted a year and a half ago. Like, comments, and reblogs all super appreciated!
Wordcount: 1800
Warnings: Mentions of Dib experimenting on people, I guess?
Zim woke up strapped to a lab table that smelled so strongly of blood that he almost threw up. (Which was quite an accomplishment, considering it wasn’t like Zim was a stranger to animal test subjects, or even getting himself injured.) It took him a few seconds to remember why he was strapped to a bloody lab table, but hearing the familiar voice frantically muttering next to him helped.
“Come on, I need to kill him, but it’s Zim, I like Zim, I don’t want to kill him, but he’s a threat to the mission, I can’t upset my Tallest or the Professor, but maybe I could just wipe his memory...”
That voice was Dib. Dib, the stalker who had turned out to be a real live alien. Dib, the kid (was he a kid?) who must have strapped him to a table.
_____
It had started out pretty easy- he’d already known where Dib lived from the one time Dib had dragged him there when they’d both gotten caught in an explosion and he’d wanted to help patch Zim up. All Zim had to do was use a taser to short out the electric fence and some hacking to get in the front door once he found the security frequency they were using.
It was child’s play, although it wasn’t like it would be easy for anybody else. Zim was special. He was always special, always better than everyone else. Dib had seen that. As annoying as he got at times, Zim was glad that at least he was annoying because he liked Zim.
However, things had started to go south as soon as he got inside the front door. There was a chubby little pig perched right next to it, and it sniffed at him before its eyes lit up bright red.
“STATE YOUR BUSINESS.”
“You talk?” It looked like a regular pig to him, usually talking animals were a lot clunkier and more robotic-looking.
“IRRELEVANT. STATE YOUR BUSINESS, HUMAN.”
“Seeing Dib.”
“NONE MAY PASS.” The pig jolted up on two legs, and Zim noticed a small zipper on its belly only moments before the pig grasped at it, yanking it down and ripping off its- costume? It didn’t look like any fabric Zim had ever seen- to reveal a silvery robot with burning red eyes. A dozen weapons, mostly guns and knives, popped out from its head, and Zim couldn’t bite back a yelp as he fumbled in his backpack for his own laser gun.
“I know how to use this thing, you know!”
“ANY THREAT TO THE MISSION AND TO MASTER GAZ MUST BE ELIMINATED.” 
Zim squeezed the trigger, but the robot- okay, it moved way too fast for a robot that size, Zim’s tended to blow up if they tried any fancy acrobatics, but this one flipped out of the way, his laser blasting a hole in the wallpaper instead. 
He took half a second to breathe before squeezing the trigger again and swinging it around, burning a line through the wall and couch before hitting the robot and getting a metallic shriek out of it as it lunged for him, pinning him down by the shoulders and making him drop his laser.
“ELIMINATED. ELIMINATED. ELMINATED.”
“Release Zim!” Zim kicked up and heard a metallic crack before he rolled to the side, thankful for those self-defense classes he’d taken as the robot plunged about fifteen knives into the spot where his head had been half a second ago. The red eyes narrowed at him before activating rockets in its feet, and Zim ducked as it swung with a giant mallet from its head. He dropped to the floor, fumbling for the laser and swinging it around to take another shot at the thing. 
The gun managed to blast one of the arms off, but that sure as hell made it mad considering he didn’t have time to dodge the second swing of the mallet. He saw stars for half a second before there was nothing at all.
_____
“Dib,” Zim croaked, head feeling rather like it was full of rats that had thrown a dance party inside his skull and left a mess all over the cerebral cortex. 
“But this is a perfect opportunity for some experiments, you wanted that, didn’t you Dib- huh?” Dib looked up from muttering to himself.
Or rather, the alien did. It was still wearing Dib’s trademark goggles that looked heavy enough to weigh his head down with lenses too dark to see anything underneath, but its skin was an even darker shade of green, and it had a pair of twitchy antennae. No nose, no ears, and it had donned a full-on labcoat that was soaked in a whole lot of red and black stains. He’d always kind of figured aliens were real somewhere out there, but seeing it... it was like reality had tilted a little to the left. There were more pressing matters than a crisis about aliens existing anyhow, and Zim was pretty good at repressing things he didn’t like.
It sounded like Dib, though, and the way it fussed with its hands was the same with two fingers and one thumb on each, same as Dib. ‘Machine accident’, his ass. 
“You’re awake?”
“Y-yes, I’m awake. Could you let me go?” His voice came out sickly-sweet and polite, like he was talking to the counselor again to convince her that he was fine.
Dib-alien shook his head. “I’m afraid not. I really would like to, but you know too much. Protocol is pretty clear- dispose of or brainwash all witnesses when the planet is marked for conquest. But brainwashing knocks out a lot of the intelligence, and that would be such a waste, wouldn’t it?”
“Yes, yes it would,” Zim agreed. “So let me off with a warning?”
Dib folded his arms. “Nope. But the fact that you actually held your own against a SIR unit for a full minute as a smeet- and one that I modified to be extra aggressive- just tells me that you’re still useful as a specimen.”
“Hey, I’m not a- a- smeeb!”
“Smeet, child, baby, whatever term it is you humans use.” Dib waved a dismissive hand, stalking closer and looming over Zim. His eyes were a deep, electric blue like an unsucked sour candy, and Zim squirmed under the restraints. “That table is where most of my previous experiments died, and I don’t want you to just be number thirty-six, you know?”
“Thirty-six? Thirty-six what?”
“Oh, this and that. Humans are good for experiments, they’re very determined to survive so you don’t have to use as many.”
“Well, so is Zim.” Zim tried to twist away, but something metallic erupted from Dib’s backpack like a dozen sharp insectoid legs, propelling him up onto the lab table before he dropped directly on Zim’s chest, driving the wind out of him.
“I’m well aware. You’re already a survivor, aren’t you?” He ticked off on his fingers, alien butt shifting on top of Zim a bit to get comfortable. “Barely any parental supervision, yet you create machines and work on biological experiments that are beyond the capability of most humans three times your age. You almost get blown up often and yet walk away from it. You’re an anomaly.” Dib leaned closer, and Zim could taste the sugar on his breath. “I like anomalies.”
Zim attempted to buck Dib off to no avail as he continued. “Find the exception and you’ll have found the thing of most interest, the thing that makes or breaks a species. The outlier the proves the rule, and you’re a human that behaves like an irken, showing just how far ahead of the rest of your species you are. According to my research, they’re going to burn when Gaz decides what to do with this place if they don’t destroy each other before she gets around to it, but I just might keep you as a pet.”
“Zim is no pet!” Even with little oxygen left in his lungs, Zim shouted, snarling up at Dib with his lip curled. “Earth may be terrible, but it’s mine, so back off!”
“Oh? So you agree that Earth is terrible?” Dib tilted his head to the side, one of those long antennae twitching, and Zim narrowed his eyes.
“You’re not very good at research, are you? Of course it is! But it’s mine, and I don’t want any buggy alien getting his sticky hands all over it!”
“It’s not exactly up to me,” Dib replied, hearing the wheeze in Zim’s voice and sliding off his chest to the table itself, and Zim sucked in a deep breath, feeling the air reinflate his squashed lungs. “Gaz is the one who’s actually invading, I’m just here to study the planet in case there’s anything useful. You’re a pre-contact planet, or at least that’s what’s logged, so this place is a treasure trove of undiscovered species. I’m trying to convince Gaz to at least set up a preserve so I can study some of them once she’s done with the invasion.”
“Are you even listening to me? I told you to bug off! Leave me and Earth alone!”
“I’m listening, but I told you, it’s not my call. Even if it was... you said it yourself, Earth is terrible. It would be far more useful to the Empire as a sugar-harvesting operation, or a zoo, or something else. Humans don’t really deserve to be in charge, they’re just going to blow themselves up eventually.” Dib shrugged.
“If I was in charge, you wouldn’t say that,” Zim muttered, and Dib’s antenna twitched again.
“What did you say?”
“I said, if I was in charge, you wouldn’t say that. I bet if everybody listened to me, you’d take that back. I’m a human and I know I could fix everything.”
Dib stared at him for a solid ten seconds, and Zim wasn’t sure he hadn’t spontaneously kicked the bucket. Did aliens do that? “You’re a genius. You’re a genius!” 
“Of course I am, but why?”
Dib smacked his hands on Zim’s cheeks, squishing his mouth in like a goldfish. “Of course, how didn’t I see it before? Your potential is stifled by the fact that you only have access to tools that you create, but if we worked together, you could help us because you have intimate knowledge of humanity, and I could help you by giving you limited access to my technology! We could be lab partners- I wouldn’t have to kill you, and you can help reshape your species for a better future!”
Zim blinked. “Does this mean you aren’t going to do horrible experiments on me?”
“I can’t promise that, but I’m not going to kill you right now.”
“Good enough for me!” Zim tried to shake Dib’s hand, before realizing that he was still restrained to the table. Dib leaned over, hitting a button just next to Zim’s head, and the restraints popped off. Zim rubbed his wrists for a moment as he sat up, mind still whirling.
This was a chance to fix everything, to make things the way that they should be.
“So, you won’t kill all humans, and you’ll give me access to cool tech.”
“I’ll consider your input on that, and I’ll give you access to cool tech.” Dib nodded, taking Zim’s hand, and a slow grin spread across Zim’s face.
“Then lead the way, Dib-thing.”
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sweetiepie08 · 4 years ago
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Rebel Z (Chapter 10 Final)
nvader Zim fanfic
While analyzing Zim’s PAK for weaknesses, Tak discovers strange coding that sends her on a search for answers. The clues lead her to uncover a conspiracy that governs all of Irken society. When the truth sends her on the run, she has no choice but to return to the one place the Tallest would never willingly go: Urth.
Meanwhile, Dib has noticed odd changes in Zim’s behavior. Has the invader simply grown bored of his mission over the last few years, or is there something more interesting going on?
People who asked to be tagged: @incorrect-invader-zim , @messinwitheddie, @reblogstupids, @cate-r-gunn
If anyone else would like to be added to the tag list please let me know.
Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10. 
Thank you for reading! I do plan to continue the story in a sequel fic, but I may take a short hiatus first. I hope you enjoyed this!
Be on the lookout for the next book in the series, RevolutionZ! In which Zim and Tak attempt to join the Resisty and gain new companions! Dib fills his gap year by joining an alien rebellion! Gaz gets dragged in too! And what happened to Zim in Death Melee is explained! 
However, I will most likely only be posting links to Ao3 than full chapters to Tumblr. Again, Thank you everyone for reading!
[-]
“So, what exactly the fuck was all that stuff with the punch about?” Dib asked once they were a comfortable distance away form the Massive.
Zim glared straight ahead at the stars. “It’s nothing that concerns you, human.”
“Bullshit!” Dib slammed his hand down on the control panel. “Your little stunt could have gotten us killed. Out with it!”
Zim gritted his teeth and gripped the steering mechanism until his knuckles quaked. Dib braced himself for the inevitable screaming denial. Instead, Zim let out a pained sigh. “Fine, if you must know, I figured out three Urth years ago that my mission was a sham and my leaders were trying to have me killed, so I took revenge. Happy?”
“We know all that,” Tak snapped. “And anyway, I told you your mission was a lie a long time ago. What I want to know is how you managed to betray the Tallest without your treasonous thoughts setting of your life clock.”
“Yeah, and who’s Spek?” Dib added.
“You wish to hear Zim’s tale of woe?” He clenched his fist and heaved out another sigh. “Fine. Three Urth years ago, the Tallest contacted me, telling me they selected me to participate in Death Melee, an inter-galactic event that all would be watching.”
“The one where they throw criminals on a planet together to fight to the death?” Tak deadpanned. “That was your first clue?”
“They told me the rules had changed and it was now a contest of elite warriors. For my partner, they gave me a Spek, a smeet just shy of his cadet years. He hadn’t even seen his first cycle yet…” Zim’s fists shook as he cut himself off.
“Since you’re still alive, I’m assuming you won,” Dib said.
“Yes, but…” his gaze fell to the floor. “Yes. Anyway, throughout the Melee, it became clear to me that the Tallest lied. This was still a game for criminals, but Spek…” Zim narrowed his haunted eyes, “he was only there to lessen my chances.”
Dib watched, mesmerized. He thought he’d seen the many moods of Zim. He’d seen everything from proud boasting, to spiteful rage, to pathetic schmooping. But this, this was something else entirely, something he never expected to see from the alien. True remorse.  
“On my journey back to Urth,” he continued, “I had too much time to think and when made it back to m base, I was done with all of it.” Rage grew in his voice with every word. “I knew they lied. I knew they’d been lying. For a moment, I thought, if they didn’t want my genius, maybe someone else would. And that thought was enough to set off my life clock. Instead of simply ripping out my feedback chip, I infected it with a virus that sends the Control Brains a loop of my Urth memories, preventing it from receiving new thoughts and experiences.” A bitter, satisfied smile came to his face. “As far as I can tell, it hadn’t noticed anything was off until now.”
“And the machines I saw you building?” Dib pressed.
Zim drew himself up. “I have a contract with the Resisity. I build them machines, they appreciate my genius and send me monies.”
“And that’s what you’ve been doing for three years?” Dib asked, voice sripping with skepticism.
Zim nodded and said nothing more.
Dib stared at him, trying to get a read on this whole tale. He wasn’t sure what to believe. Zim’s reason for existence seamed to be pleasing his Tallest. The little green monster talked of nothing else since arriving on Urth. He couldn’t imagine Zim wanting anything else and he’d fallen for the schmoopy act before. But this was not schmoop. It was too subtle, too quiet. And that betrayal of his Tallest couldn’t be denied. Something had truly changed.
Dib looked to Tak to gauge her opinion, but her face revealed nothing except careful calculation.
“I’d heard the Resisty had been growing and gaining power,” she mused. “New technology granted them upsetting victories and made them more of a problem than they once were. They could be the key. We need to fight if we ever want a chance of defeating the Control Brains and freeing our people, and for that, we’ll need an army. With your connection and my information, we could pose a real threat to the Empire.”
Dib expected Zim to launch into another tirade about how he wasn’t in it for the politics. That this was all a personal mission and he had no interest in going rogue. That did not happen.
Instead, Zim said nothing for a long time. He simply stared through the windshield in tense silence. But then, a grin grew slowly on his face. “I’m in.”
[-]
When they made it back to Earth, they found that Gaz made use of MiMi and Mini Mouse as gaming companions, Dad bought her excuse that Dib was hanging out at Zim’s house, and that he hadn’t even stopped home long enough to notice the two additional robots in the living room.
Dib went straight to his room and laid out all of his recording devices. He had the notes he took the night Zim and Tak rambled drunkenly on the couch. He had the audio recording of the old man Irken that he couldn’t wait to translate. And he had the spy camera he’d been wearing to capture the whole experience. He never got so much undeniable proof on one mission before, and no one, to his knowledge, had this much evidence of this quality ever. He’d be king of the Swollen Eyeball network if he showed even a fraction of…
His eyes drifted to the Swollen Eyeball emblem pinned to his bulletin board and he let out a sigh. The Swollen Eyeball… what a joke. They’d been reduced to a bunch of anti-science conspiracy nuts. The organization became a competition to see who could shout their wildest theory the loudest. What were they compared to a real evil alien empire, a real soul-sucking, Lovecraftian horror, and a real space alien rebellion?
No. This was bigger than some crack-pot conspiracy group. This rebellion universe-shattering consequences. And he was going to be part of it.
[-]
Out in his ship, Zim stared at his PAK connector with warry eyes. He wasn’t sure what held him back now. His stunt on the Massive already solidified his traitor status, but this felt different, more official. It was one thing to enact vengeance on those who betrayed him. It was quite another to completely detach himself from society.
He’d been unwaveringly loyal to the Empire since his conception, but they didn’t want him. He’d seen that years ago. So what was he waiting for?
He disconnected the PAK from his back and ignored the lifeclock in the corner of his eye as he plugged it in. He opened the hatch, clicked a pair of tweezers in his fingers, then reached them toward his feedback chip.
At a light tug, his computer’s voice gave an automated warning.
You are attempting to remove the feedback chip. Doing so is an act of treason against the Irken Empire. Are you sure you want to proceed?
Zim closed his eyes and pulled the chip free.
[-]
Tak’s footsteps echoed as she walked across the concrete garage floor. MiMi’s metallic feet clacked beside her. Apart from that, the room was silent. She was used to silence. One grows accustomed to it when traveling alone through space. But these last few days had been anything but. And with Zim as her dubious ally, silent moments like this were certain to be few and far between.
And yet, this moment, she felt the need to fill it with something.
She popped open the windshield of her ship and hopped inside. “MiMi, my disc please.” Mimi reached into her head and took out the Urth data storage disc. Zim wasn’t the only one with a secret stash.
Tak took the disc from Mimi and placed it in a tray on the ship’s control panel. “Ship, track six please.” As she hopped out, music began to play. Smooth, jazzy horns filled the air and the singer began crooning.
Maybe this time, I’ll be lucky. Maybe this time he’ll stay…
The song was from an Urth performance art piece. The vocalist sang about some male mate. That part didn’t interest Tak in the slightest. Still, there was something about it...
Not a loser anymore, like the last time and the time before…
The song continued to play as Tak opened the engine access panel and began her work. While manipulating the many gears and wires, she found a few interesting repair methods that the human implemented over the years. Many employed the use of an Urth bonding strip called “duct tape”, which she had to admit came in handy. The human didn’t do a bad job, even if it was pretty slap-dash.
All the odds are in my favor, something’s bound to begin…
She finally untangled a mess of wires and reconnected them.
It’s gotta happen, happen sometime…
She fused together the final wire and the ship hummed to life. Fuel Regulation Systems online.
Tak smiled, “Okay Mimi, looks like we’re finally getting somewhere.” She ducked back into the access panel as the song his its crescendo.
Maybe this time I’ll win.
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ask-zadr · 5 years ago
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Dib: SO THE BABY REVEAL WITH MY FAMILY IS FINALLY HERE! Zim: i don’t know why it TOOK SO LONG! Dib: eheheh.... yeah..... well - zim, gaz, dad and GIR are going to answer a handful of questions from you guys under the cut! It’s quite a long chat, so everything under the cut!
( special thanks to @ohgod-she-draws for the banner & @cephalonghost for playing zim and membrane! )
Dib: okay everyone! we're going to get right into this. there's a reason zim and i have you gathered.
Gaz: ...this better be important. I was in the middle of my game.
Zim: It is VEEEERRRRYYY Important! Much more important than your lil combat simulations!
Membrane: Son, I really have to get back to the lab within the next hour. Could we maybe—
Dib: dad, DAD trust me. it's important. ok zim.. do you want to say it or do you want me to?
Membrane: What could possibly be—
Zim: ZIM IS WITH SMEETS!!!
Membrane: ... Uuuuh...
Gaz: ...wait.... wait what? you have to be kidding me.
Dib: --nope! and.. and dad he means that we're having a baby. zim is pregnant.
Zim: The only “kidding” here is the one that’ll be born from my spooch!
Membrane: I... What...? When did this happen? Is this a natural—He looks as if he’s... Is this why you finally proposed to him...?
Gaz: gross.
Dib: haha... no. we've actually been trying for a baby. buuut... uh. i've had some people send in questions for all of us to answer about zim getting pregnant!
Membrane: Questions? From who? And just how long--
Zim: Two weeks!
Membrane: ... I am very confused right now...
Gaz: dib is doing some dumb blog thing. i don't know.
Dib: ...LET'S GET INTO IT! ahahahah..
Gaz, what are you up to now? What do you do as a career? Have a SO like your brother? Excited to be an aunt?
Gaz: wow, one for me. i work as one of my dad's high security guards and yes, I have a boyfriend. as far as being excited to be an aunt... I guess so. so long as I don't have to clean up after dibs messes.
Zim: You DARE--Eh...?! GIR! STOP BATHING IN SODAS AND GET BACK OVER HERE! 
Membrane: Two weeks... How is that scientifically possible?
GIR: YES MY MASTER. EHEHEHEH. 
Dib: we found out two weeks ago. we've been trying for awhile NEXT QUESTION!
Gir!!! Are you excited about becoming a big brother? / Having a special, little mini-master around? 
GIR: MASTER HAVING MANY AND MANY AND MANYS BABIES! YAAAY 
Dib: i like to take it as a good sign! gir knew before us.
Zim: Hmph, of COURSE GIR would know sooner than your silly pregnancy stick things. He is FAR superior technology than they are! 
Membrane: Many babies...?
Dib: i think he's talking about zims want for more after this. 
Gaz: you both need to see how you'll be after the first before even considering another. 
Dib: right. uhm. next question.
How are you guys gunna explan the pregnancy science?
Membrane: Yes, I am rather curious about that myself. Research has proven it possible for anyone to carry a child through artificial implantation. And that would explain why it's developing so-- 
Zim: Nonsense! We just did the sex until ZiM's superior body finally accepted the Dib's human-ness. 
Membrane: I...
Dib: i think i know why you're confused. i'm not going to get too into it but uh, zim was technically born female but he's genderfluid. so we had a baby the natural way! 
Gaz: let's not get into what you two had to do to make  a baby... eugh. 
GIR: THEY WENT VER-- 
Dib: NEXT QUESTION!
Careful, Dib. If you get a dad bod, you might end up in the same mess your father is in with the fandom.
Dib: i don't understand what this means...
Gaz: oh god....
Zim: Silence, GIR! 
Membrane: I am also very confused by that statement...
Dib: care to tell us the mess you are in, father 
Gaz: dib, shut up.
Membrane: No, really! I don't understand what they're referring to. Do they mean how I was voted "Sexiest Scientist of the Year"? That nonsense?
GIR: ---HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!! 
dib: ok ew... nevermind...
Congrats on the engagement! how exciting! sorry if this has been asked before but have you guys thought about potential baby names?
Dib: thank you! we have several names in mind. zim came up with them -
Zim: YES! I have come up with only the most AMAZING of names for them! Kip, Lika, and Dewi if they are "male" and Zal for any little girl smeetling.
Membrane: You certainly have quite a few picked out.
Zim: Of course. I intend to birth a whole ARMY of smeets! 
Membrane: Oh--Uh...
Dib: --zim is only joking!!! he's just very excited about having kids! 
Gaz: I like the name Dewi the most out of those... they're not too bad.
Wait a darn minute.. So who'e much more older, Dib or Gaz? I'm very confused because keeps playing tricks on me! ( Ť^Ť ) Also can i have a hug from the membrane sibs?
Dib: i'm older. gaz isn't even 21 yet. and of course you can have a hug! 
Gaz: i'll pass.
Do Irkens nest? Is Zim compiling all of the pillows and blankets in the house to prepare for the Smeets?
Zim: Only the most softest and comfortablest pillows and Mattresses! I have constructed the GREATEST nest to ever have nested! Any smeet of mine deserves only THE BEST!
Membrane: What is an "Irken"? And nesting? I've never known expecting human mothers to create-- 
Zim: YOU'RE LYING!!
Dib: zim is an alien 
Gaz: just get on with the next QUESTION.
Watch out, either GIR will become hyperprotective of the new sibling or he'll be extremely jealous, and that's not a nice thing to deal with (i've been the jealous toddler)
GIR: I LOVE DA BABIESSSSS 
Dib: GIR is very protective. I have cuts and scratches all over my hand whenever he protects zim's belly. zim just seems to think it's funny. 
Gaz: you just let him maul you? actually... that is pretty funny.
Membrane: Dib, it's rude to call an expecting mother an alien. Though it is good to see that the little robot child has adapted well to all this. Not sure about the biting though... 
Zim: Heheheh~
GIR: I MUST PROTECT DA BABIES!!!! 
Dib: .....next.
What if the smeet doesn’t have a binary gender tho?
Dib: we'd... well they're going to get a name either way. it wouldn't change who they are.
Zim: Eh, gender-schmender. 
Membrane: Gender scientifically has nothing to do with the biological sex of the child.
Congrats on becoming a grandfather, Professor Membrane!! Will you be going by "grandpa", "granddad", or "pop pop"?
Membrane: Ahaha. Well, not quite a grandfather yet...  But, I believe that would essentially be up for the children themselves to choose what they call me. Though I am fairly partial to the classic “grandpa” title. Or “Abuelo”.
Gaz: oh god, dad. you're old! it just really hit me!
Dib: hehehehe. yes he really is!!!!
GIR: ABUELLOOOOO
Membrane: Come now, I'm not THAT old.
Zim: I've seen older.
aAAAA this is all happening so fast for you guys oh my god- is everyone excited or maybe even scared about it? I would be honestly
Gaz: im scared for how they're going to handle the baby. 
Dib: i'm pretty confident! i've been mentally preparing! 
GIR: AND STRESSSSINGGGG
Membrane: It is a rather taxing job. 
Zim: Pssh, as if it would be that hard!
Gaz: this is why i'm concerned.
Dib: FINAL QUESTION!
So what does Dibs family think of the whole "having a smeet" thing
Membrane: Well... I certainly wish I had been told sooner about such a momentous decision.
Gaz: I am just shocked. Neither of them seem like they’d be fit to be parents... but if they’re sure... I’m behind them.
Zim: Hah! That's where your wrong, Dib-sister! There is no one is a BETTER FIT for parenting than the likes of ZiM!
Membrane: My, your little partner is quite enthusiastic about this, isn't he?
Dib: what can I say!? Zim is ready for a family. I am too. a little bit.
GIR: BABIES FOR EVERYONNEEEEEE
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runicrever · 5 years ago
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Primal Irken Headcanon/Alternate Universe
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Hello everyone for those of you not here for the whole Headcanon or the AU story then this is where I’ll give minor explanations
First off
 - HE’S NOT WEARING A BRA -
(I’m only saying this cause everyone in my household and at least one of my friends thought he was wearing a bra which isn’t the case)
The thing on his chest is a PAK stabilizer and a chest plate it’s there to protect vital organs hold the PAK more firmly in place and to block the pheromone receptors on his chest more will be explained in the head canon section
I based his design off the idea that what if a insect and a reptilian bird (aka dinosaur) were some how mixed how I came to this conclusion is the fact that Zim in the show looks very bug like but he’s green and Dib refers to him as a “lizard” at times in the show so I thought he must have lizard like skin which also would explain how flexible he’s shown himself to be which bugs can not do
This is basically my idea of what irkens long before they made proper PAKs and were planet destroying conquerors of the universe they were just little bug birds with a hierarchy similar to ants and bees where they make large hives with hundreds of thousands of irkens with a central queen and her chosen mate(s)
Zim is defective and a runt so as a smeet he’s thrown out into the wild in hopes he’d die but despite the odds he somehow barely made it to adult hood and the AU goes from there.
And FYI the first one if of him on Irk where he’s starving while the second and third are him after coming to earth and becoming much much healthier
Alright that’s the end of the introduction sorry it’s so long.. now for the hard Headcanon
- HEADCANON -
alright so to begin at the very start due to irkens showing signs of being a very unified group and seeming to act like a gigantic hive I believed that irkens  came from a slightly more hive or nest like origin. the planet they lived on was rich in metals especially those that are rather rare on earth like platinum, gold, silver, titanium and others. This could mean the ground would be difficult to hallow out naturally leading to irkens to be very very skilled at hallowing out and hardening metal to make unground hives like those ants make but made of metal. I believe that they’d make sure the strongest metals were closer to the center of the nest to protect the queen and her mates.
The Original Queen how ever is the most powerful of irkens she’s huge, she’s powerful she, and oh dear god don’t piss her off or going to die! She is the only natural born queen and because of that she is the only irken queen who’s actually immortal other irkens. Like worker ants and bees are made to do their job and die as are irken soldiers and like bee and ant queens the irken queens life is FAR longer then any other irkens.
Other irken queens are females from hives that wanted to gain a mate and have smeets so the queen of such hive sends them away to find a male from a different hive. When the queen has found a mate they dig out the hole to the center of their hive and then begin having smeets. Within an irken year those smeets will be sub adults and begin serving their queen as loyal and devoted soldiers. The queen and her mate over that first year will produce pheremones that physically change their body structure so that they can do their job more effectively. The queen will get bigger and gain more fat stores so that she has lots of extra energy to make more smeets. The male mate will become leaner and taller and act as the queens advisor when not making smeets with her and instruct the other smaller irkens to do as she says or tell the queen of what’s needed for the hive.
You may be noticing a few similarities between the queen and her mate that there is between the control brains and the tallests. That is because this  leads into my idea that when the Original Queen had an irken who figured out how to make PAKs to extreme the lives of irkens he began work on making it so the queens could truely live forever. This explains why the control brains oversee all major things such as executions, re-encodings, and the making, hatching, naming, and encoding of smeets. The tallests have taken on the roll of the queens mates. Due to irkens no longer actively reproducing and using cloning tubes the queens mated became permanent advisors and leaders for the rest of irkens. Which meant they no longer needed to be male and be good at making big healthy smeets instead they merely needed to be the perfect image of an irken. For the control brains still being irken queens who want tall healthy and strong looking mates they decided the tallest of irken soldiers would become tallests. Which would at least ensure the leader was tall and powerful and once they were tallest they were allowed to eat as much as they want when they want which by irken standards meant they were healthy.
In early irken society irkens were given rolls after they showed signs of talents. Theses talents were classified as Medic, Technician, Soldier, Nurse, and Drone and each irken was given their first name by the queen and their last name was their queens name and they would be given a letter in front of their name after they found their talent. For example a irken in this time maybe called S. Zept Mira which would mean the Zept was a soldier and served under queen Mira. Those serving under the Original Queen are instead given the last name of her mate Xalon since she only allows her closest protectors and her mate know her first name though a few select irkens have secretly learned of her name.
A defective irken in this time is any irken that is considered to small, malformed, hatched with a deformity, hatched with a mental disorder, or those who’s PAK can’t properly command the irken to serve their queen and respect the Original Queen. If an irken as one of these then they’re given an irken month to prove they can over come the disability but any more the one of those and their immediately thrown out to die as a tiny smeet there are a few irkens who were cast out at month who survives and formed a small tribe together and they work to together and only grow in numbers by hives casting out their month old smeets because they have no queen. When a month old is thrown out to die where they pick them up and help them until adults at which point they help the tribe but the tribe doesn’t take in hatchlings as they’d be to much work and because of this no day old has survived after being cast out. Well… all except one.
This is where the AU begins
Other more minor things to mention is the PAKs. They’re far smaller then the ones irkens wear today and have a harness like thingto stabilize them and cover the irkens sensory organs on this chest. In the comics there’s a page that shows Zim having three dots in his chest most took these to be nipples but reptiles birds and bugs don’t have that and I really don’t see irkens to be very mammalian so instead I took these to be sensory organs sort of like those in an alligators nose or those on the front edge of a viper or pythons mouth. But unlike those on reptiles they’d be some form of pheromone and hormone receptors. Yes the irkens antennae also do this but to a lesser degree. Honestly I’ve made irken antennae have a lot of different reasons for existing. The main one is hearing they’re primary purpose is feeling the vibrations of sound and sending those vibrations to organs in the skull that make sense of them and send them to the brain. The lower jaw of an irken also connects at a place very close to where the vibrations are made sense of so he can also hear through his jaw but it requires direct contact with the vibrations and his jaw to do this. So in the AU he may press his lower jaw on the ground or other solid objects to hear was going on inside them. His jaw connecting so high up on his skull is also why he can open his mouth so wide(if you don’t know what I’m talking about look at any time he screams in the show)The antennae two secondary uses are smelling/picking up pheromones and showing emotion. Firstly explaining that they also smell and register pheromones is simply connecting them to bugs. Ants bees and basically any insect senses smells and pheromones through their antennae hence why they wiggle them around at things they’re wanting to eat or at each other since pheromones are how bugs talk. But this is secondary because their tongue does the other half of smelling (cause if you didn’t know this the senses of smell and taste are actually pretty strongly linked) and the holes on his chest due the other half of pheromone reception. The emotion part how ever should be obvious.. in the show Zims antennae spring up when he’s attentive or confused and lay back more when he’s angry or worried so they’re sort of just do that naturally.
- ALTERNATE UNIVERSE STORY -
Zim just after hatching is inspected by the Queen and her mate Xalon. He’s picked up and looked over curiously as they try and figure out what’s wrong with him as they can already see he’s far FAR smaller then he should be. He came out of an average egg and there was no signs of issue but the the tiny runt smeet only was calmly curious of the new world around him. The queen called in the royal Medic and Technician to give the smeet his PAK which was done quickly. The process of putting on a PAK was incredibly painful for smeets especially smaller ones but ones in place and fully connected they ran diagnostics. Sadly for the tiny smeet the PAK informed all of them that the poor smeet wasn’t properly connecting to the PAK his brain was fighting the PAKs demands and because of such the queen sighed as she called in two of her soldiers to take the smeet to the forest to be left to die. Likely by being eaten by something or simply die of thirst and starvation.
The soldiers did as told without question as this was very standard practice for them they carried the tiny smeet by his PAK stabilizer. Once they got to the deep parts of the forest they tossed him and began walking back to the hive careful of their surroundings as the forest was home to monsters. They did not pity the smeet and they instead focused only on their own survival and the survival of their nest. Such was the way of the Irken.
The tiny abandoned smeet was very confused as to why he was dropped in this new place and merely began to explore. Everything was new to the newly hatched smeet as it calmly wondered about the forest floor. Within hours night began to fall and the tiny smeet quickly found itself getting very cold as at night the temperature on the planet quickly went down and the tiny smeet desperately tried to find a place to hide for the night as was his instinct to hide when it got dark and to huddle up when it got cold.  Eventually he found a tree with a small hold where its roots had begun branching out into the ground and he crawled inside and curled up tight against a side of the hole desperately trying to stay warm during the night. He attempted to sleep as rest is important for smeets but due to the cold he got very little sleep.
By morning the smeet was tired and growing hungry and climbed out of the little hole to begin looking for food. He searched for quite a while being on high alert as his surrounds were rather concerning lots of sounds from animals could be heard and all the smeet wanted was something to eat and then go hide again. Even tally he ended up finding a berry bush and his PAK informed him that they were safe to eat so he grabbed the ones he could reach ate them quickly and looked for more food. Another few hours passed before he found a small nest of lizard legs and his PAK telling him that they were edible he grabbed a few and carried them off to his little hiding place to eat the next time he got hungry. Once back in his hole he curled up and slept  until next he got hungry.
This cycle continued for most of his life until he couldn’t fit in his hiding spot any longer which at around 4 months old he began digging himself a new hiding place to live in and began making tools to catch himself food. He was an incredibly smart little irken despite his disabilities and differences and by the time he reached a year of age he had a hole that he hallowed out at the base of a tree and a deeper part below that in the ground for when winter came around. he’d relocated a few bushes he new grew edible berries to be closer to his little den as well as setting up pit traps for animals he could eat to fall into.
He’d even began going to the hive dumps and looking for scrap items he could use to built things and eventually built himself two little robots one that followed him around and watched his back when he was hunting or scavenging and a second that hovered staying close to his den to alert him if something attacked it. Both were rather adorable and due to Zims instinctive need for company and companionship both robots served a secondary purpose of being things he could hug or “talk” to when he was scared nervous or just lonely.
I say he “talked” to them with quotes because his talking was severely lacking due to the lack of actual conversing. He could speak irken of course as that was done by his PAK he had learned quickly that it was better to stay quiet making a lot of noise attracted predators and it also didn’t help that any irken he found would look at him as if he were a freak and yell at him. They’d even attack him if he was in their hunting grounds or found scavenging in their dump so he rarely spoke causing his voice to be soft and hoarse. He instead spoke to his robots in soft chirps whistles squeaks and if he was angry hisses. Irken itself was a very harsh language coming from ruff gut earl growls and high shreeky screams though some sound were softer but those were few and far between. So Zim had developed his own little language only for himself and his robots.
But one day towards the end of his 16th year in exile an odd ship landed near his den. He was terrified as he’d never seen anything like it in his life and what came out of it was even more of a shock. A tall and thin beast, it’s body was clothed in a T-shirt jeans and trench coat, his hair a dark raven black with a cowlick taking on the shape of a scythe and odd clear circles that reflected light slightly hiding his golden amber eyes. This creature was not from Irk and was both horrifying and interesting to the little irken. He was so tall and lean Zim couldn’t help but find him interesting to look at but his trench coat and glasses gave him an aura of mystery and curiosity. The human looked around his surroundings excited to have found a planet with plants and life leaving his ship unattended.
The irken approached the ship pressing his jaw against it to listen to it and found the humming drone of the engine and the buzz of electricity. He moved away from the ship and carefully approached the human. As he got closer the human turned and the two locked eyes.
And that’s what I have the AU is partly for an roleplay idea ive had but I wanted to make this post so I had some where to send people to if they wanted to try the AU in roleplaying with me. If your interested then your welcome to ask to try the RP I merely ask that I get to be Zim for it..
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slinkinginshadows · 5 years ago
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Eggs
Just realized I can throw this over here! This is relating to some aus over on my main, but all that really matters is that Dib is irken in this au too and they’ve been popping out eggs for quite a while now.
Warnings: Birth kink, egg laying, oral sex
Rating: Explicit
Wordcount: 1220
Ship: ZaDr
The doors had been locked, walls soundproofed, and the smeets kept firmly away for the next few hours to wait for the newest batch of future siblings.  Zim ran a hand over his stomach as Dib fussed with the nest, adjusting and re-adjusting the pillows. It was a big clutch this time- seven eggs. 
Laying, however, was something he was more than used to, even with a few extras. Dib adjusted his goggles before his gloves slid under Zim's tunic to shift it up, exposing the gravid belly underneath. A few years ago, he might have been able to make out subtle bumps with the individual eggs, but now, a soft layer of fat smoothed over it to make him perfectly round.
"Ready?" Dib's claws hooked under the fabric, but instead of tearing through, he slid it over Zim's head. Zim had already kicked off his boots, and he tried to remove his tights as well before slumping back with a groan.
"Once I get these off I- oh." Zim's eyes widened, antennae leaping straight up as Dib bent down, completely hidden behind his stomach. He felt teeth brush against his thigh, draaaaaaaagging the fabric down bit by bit. Dib was using his fingers to pull down the right side while his mouth handled the left, and by the time he threw the leggings away, Zim was beginning to soak the blankets underneath him. 
"I'll take that as a yes." Dib's own antennae were perked forward, delicious hormones diffusing through the air and intermingling with Zim's own. He set a hand on Zim's hip, tracing up, up, up to end on the top of his belly. "You're incredible at this."
"Of course I am." Zim grinned. "No irken could make smeets as well as I can. You're lucky that you found me."
"I'm lucky you're so eager to be my little breeding pet," Dib murmured, hand tracing down and over Zim's sternum to cup his chin and force him to look directly into Dib's eyes. "You carry so well."
"Only because you treat me so well," Zim said, legs falling open as Dib leaned forward, pulling him into a kiss. Dib reached up, finding Zim's antenna and pulling it down so as soon as he rose from the kiss he could pop the top in his mouth. Zim's eyes squeezed shut, panting out. "Dib..." Dib's tongue ran down the of the antenna, length a definite advantage of an irken tongue. Dib waited until he could practically feel the heat radiating from his hand that had drifted to Zim's cheek to release it, smiling down at him before shifting back down to legs.
He was slick-heavy, both with broken water and sweet arousal. Dib licked his lips. He always wanted to devour every bit of Zim, mark him as his in every way he could, but birth days were always the best- he was ripe like the richest fruit and eager to fall apart in Dib's hands, short and plump and the picture of a carrier. Dib ran his tongue up Zim's petals, and Zim hooked his feet behind Dib's neck, one kicking out hard enough to almost knock his Pak off when Dib dug his tongue inside of the entrance.
"Dib!"
"You love it," Dib muffled a laugh against Zim's inner thighs, and the vibrations made the petals soften further against his cheek.
"Stop knowing me!"
"It's a little late for that." Dib pressed kisses against the thigh. "I know you like honey on your drinks, and you don't like it when I take too long in the lab when you need attention. And you always need attention. I know how soft you can be with the smeets, and how you sing in the shower." He let his teeth graze the soft skin and felt Zim's toes curl on his back. "And I know just how much this all turns you on."
Zim made a hmmph-ing sound, but the longer Dib worked, the more it morphed into a low moan. Eventually, his legs relaxed again, falling back, and Dib felt movement to his right. He turned to see the first egg beginning to pass. 
"Good, there's one. Just stay relaxed, you know the routine by now," Dib said, holding out a hand as Zim grunted. The egg slid out and into his palm, and Dib set it aside before turning back to the entrance. He begin to kiss the soft skin around it, and Zim's claws ripped through the fabric of the nest. 
"D-Dib..."
Dib didn't respond, lavishing attention on Zim as he melted underneath the eager kisses and licks. Soon enough, another egg neared. Dib didn't even need to tell Zim to push, he was already doing it, he really was so good at this. Even though there were more than usual, the eggs were the same as always, and it slipped through, widening the entrance for just a moment as it slid into the pillow.
The pattern repeated, Dib softening Zim up so the eggs had minimal resistance and the eggs moving right through. Three, four, five, six, slight variations in size but not enough to bother Zim. Seven, however, was having a problem.
Sweat beaded Zim's face, and he peered over himself. He could see Dib's tall antennae now as he bobbed up and down, pleasuring Zim the way no one else ever could or would. "Where is it?"
"It's coming, be patient."
"I want to see it- eep!" Dib had left a playful nip where Zim's thigh met his petals, and it melted his squeedlyspooch to goop. Every one of his nerves was firing red-hot, and his hips bucked at the latest contraction. He wanted the egg out so he could curl up and rest, so he could finish, but it was stubborn. It must be the Dib in it. Zim could still feel it, heavy in his pelvis, and panted into the warm air. 
"It's coming, just relax."
"I was relaxed until this one refused to- oh!" There it was. The egg was larger than its siblings, that was for sure, and Zim could feel himself being stretched further than usual. Dib wiggled his fingers in to help ease it out, and a series of flurried clicks and chirps erupted from Zim. 
"That's it, it's okay, I have it," Dib soothed, and Zim's hips and ass tightened before the egg slid out. He felt empty, like a mech without a pilot, until Dib set the egg away and peppered kisses over him again. He was still wet in every meaning of the word, and a few well placed suckles on the petals of his entrance was all it took for him to cum, moaning out Dib's name. 
Dib emerged, pink dripping from his lips as he licked them clean. "I see why seven was a problem." He held it up- it was about a size and a half as large as a regular egg. "It might be twins, or it might be a regular smeet that's just really big."
"Either way..." Zim started, before he had to catch breath. "Either way, it's ours."
Dib carefully wrapped the egg in a blanket before scooting up next to Zim, kissing his forehead. "It is. You've done well."
Zim preened. He did, and he couldn't ask for anything else.
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prof-zimbrane · 5 years ago
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Ok, so imagine Professor Membrane was an irken, next in line to be the Tallest. But he doesn't want to be Tallest. He's a scientist and that's all he wants to be. So he finds a planet a little off the star maps, (the sticky notes the tallest pointed at in episode 1 ) he fakes his death in a lab explosion and hides on earth, establishing himself as the smartest man on the planet. Mizuki becomes tallest instead.
Ahhhh!! Yeah, he’d pursue his passion for science so he can actually make a difference, instead of just being stuck in a leadership position, trying to conquer other planets to convert them into parking lots (unless the plan for Irken conquest came about later). In this case he’d be stuck on Earth for a long time. Cuz I think Zim’s killed Tallest Miyuki a really long time ago, like before becoming an invader???
More ramblings under the cut. (Endgame Zimbrane! What would this post be without that pairing? ON this blog? ahahha)
SO, he’d be on Earth for decades, away from his own species (unless he got visitors). Still that would make for a really lonely existence, especially cuz Earth is a dirtball full of the universe’s version of reclusive hicks and he’s got to wear a disguise to fit in. But then he’d grow to love Earth and what it holds cuz there’s a lot to be done there and he loves seeing how a short-lived species grows and adapts.
But then he’d wished for some sort of companion/apprentice and so that’s why his kids came about. So, he wanted to use regular Irken cloning technology to create identical clones, but then he’d realize that it would mean having his smeets grow at a slower age than everyone else, giving them Irken weaknesses in a planet that seems out to get them, and making them have to hide themselves from any potential predators out to expose them. Which, is something Prof Membrane doesn’t wish for, so maybe he just gave up on the idea of having actual Irken smeets and just genetically engineers human babies with some of his traits and some cosmic science/”magic”(maybe that’s why Dib has so many allergies and why Gaz has scary powers).
And when Zim finds out that there was another Irken living on Earth who doesn’t want to destroy it, who actively pursues science for the benefit of humankind, AND who is the father of his worst enemy, then I’d guess he’d be super intrigued, especially if he’s well-known as the Irken who disappeared before becoming Tallest, which is the highest honour ever (rumours would abound). Maybe Zim would think that he was kidnapped or brainwashed and as a loyal citizen of the Irken Empire, would seek to rescue/liberate him to reinstate him as the true/hidden Tallest (if Prof Membrane is still the tallest Irken alive) a la Simba from Lion King (”Remember who you are”).
This could lead to funny scenarios where Zim just plops into Prof Membrane’s lab to take him away from his work but then his means of transportation just ends up being destroyed and they land in a romantic location, so ZIm just bullshits his way into saying it was all according to the plan and they just start these intense discussions and talks about how Irk’s been, what it’s been like living on Earth, any surprising scientific discoveries they found, etc. Zim does this often enough that Prof Membrane’s lab assistants/colleagues/employees just start assuming that they’re an item.
Prof Membrane started off being wary of Zim just kidnapping him esp cuz Dib keeps warning Prof Membrane about Zim but he has several plans of attack and defense for every possible scenario, so he’ll never be scared by whatever Zim throws at him. But he doesn’t enjoy any more harm to be done against him or to the surrounding environments, so he started distracting Zim with basic small talk, which eventually became full blown conversations lasting hours. And with all these kidnappings, vehicle crashes, and talks, he’s actually starting to genuinely enjoy Zim. Especially cuz he’s been alone, with no one to confide to on planet Earth.
Somehow, with each kidnapping, Zim manages to crash into more and more extravagantly romantic places, where he’d be forced to stay put to repair his Cruiser or until Gir/Minimoose fetch him an illegally stolen lorry to hide his Voot. Zim would grumble over his crashed ship and delayed plans but with Prof Membrane’s distractions, he’d feel content to talk about things he missed being in space, surrounded by Irk’s culture. He’d feel like he had a friend, someone who he could eventually trust (and what does it matter that he initially thought of humouring Prof Membrane’s small talk to convince Prof Membrane to leave Earth to become the Tallest? He’s honest with what he says).
Since Zim believes that Prof Membrane is the right Tallest, he doesn’t feel the need to appease the current Tallests. So he thinks it safe to open up to Prof Membrane. About his doubts on the mission, his fears of being a bad Irken, a defective, and about all the disasters he caused. This could be the turning point of their relationship. Where they accept that they actually have feelings for the other, i.e. Prof Membrane realizes he loves Zim when he wants to do whatever it takes to take away Zim’s sorrow and end up comforting him, and Zim realizes that he loves Prof Membrane when he feels accepted after Prof Membrane cheers him up.
And how does this all end? Dib and Gaz find out about their heritage, of course they would! Zim finally learns to appreciate Earth and is willing to stay there forever with his partner and adopted kids, although Prof Membrane finding out what the Irken Empire has accomplished on the other half of the Universe, he’d be like “The universe needs my help! I can’t, in good conscience, leave some pathetic, ineffectual little rebellion be the only force going against two idiots too occupied with snacking and destroying to rule the Universe!” He gets one of those “with great height comes great responsibility” epiphanies.
He and Zim end up liberating the conquered planets by taking over the previous Tallests positions cuz height really is everything and the Control Brains are the ones who do the Pak programming, so Red and Purple are tossed to the side fairly easily (they still live a comfortable life filled with doughnuts though).
Many Irkens actually prefer Prof Membrane because 1) he’s really tall, 2) he gives his citizens more rights, and 3) he’s just really badass with his tech and knowledge + he really supports the science sector of the empire and can be found mostly conducting research. Zim rules in his stead when Prof Membrane is busy (Zim is surprisingly good as a ruler, as long as Prof Membrane gives him affection and an outlet for his destructive tendencies (he gets to punish criminals with stuff he designs himself)).
(I know it’s a Disney ending, but I’m just making it up as I go).
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minaim-blog · 5 years ago
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DaTr Date Night - Part 1 - At The Arcade
There’s school tomorrow but it’s date night for Dib and Tak. As a break from their usual night out Dib brought her to the local arcade, but there Tak finds something she can’t beat down or pause for later. Will she be able to overcome or this truly unbeatable?
Tak reviewed the state of her vessel meticulously through its computer console. She noted a stable life-support system and defense array at near maximum power, its sensor’s registered itself atop an atmosphere-less asteroid hurling through space with her opponent nowhere to be found. She concluded the disappearance was caused by a cloaking device attached to the enemy’s ship which she had noted lend itself quite nicely to their tactic of minor aggression followed by hasty retreat, repeating until victory was achieved. It had only succeed in dealing minor damage to her vessel both now and at an earlier encounter, but she knew her opponent would need more than a cheap trick to take down an Irken Invader, and also that her opponent (for all she could tell) could not supply anything else beyond that.
Still, she was just as cautious as she was assured of her own victory, as only a fool would let themselves be defeated by their own overconfidence. Contrary to the greatest annoyance on this dirt ball of a planet, which she’s been existing on now for more than six of its solar cycles: Zim. Whose very existence breathed overconfidence, and yet also possessed an infallible tenacity that refused to perish no matter how far to the brink of devastation it was brought. While she did think the later was an admirable trait, she never would have said this openly to him, as it would have only made him that much more insufferable. She was hesitant to call him an ally, more so a neighbor in banishment, and he could still inspire within her a feeling of deepest frustration and malcontent whenever he dared to proclaimed himself as anything besides incompetent.
“Zim is neither here now, nor the reason for coming out.”
She had to tell herself this to refocus on the enemy at hand. Thankfully just as she brought herself back to the battle the enemy provided her with a means to its end. While her enemy’s cloaking device mostly obscured it from her ship’s sensors it was not completely unidentifiable. In their previous encounter Tak noted that her sensor array, while unable to detect the enemy ship, could pick-up any projectile based artillery fired on the battlefield, and thanks to the now incoming fire she was able to pinpoint the general location of her enemy. Maneuvering her vessel past the incoming missiles she utilized her ship’s ability to release a focused EMP based attack at the location of fire, while it deals no damage it makes up for it in its useful ability to remove any buffs the target possess. In one swift motion Tak was both able to avoid the enemy fire and release the blast towards it source leaving two ships now visible on the battle field. Pleased with her accomplishment but rather annoyed at the lack of challenge Tak revealed her disgruntlement,
“Alright, hide and seek is done. Let’s get this over with quickly, my boyfriend and I had the rest of the evening planned.”
Saying this however seemed to anger her opponent, which while it was not her intention, helped in ending their confrontation. Her opponent charge forward blindly in an attack that was easily dodged and Tak followed it with one of her own, dealing major damage to his ship. The vessel she was piloting possessed relatively weak firepower and average defenses but exceled at maneuverability and close quarters combat. Her opponent’s ship lacked firepower, defenses, and had only average maneuverability at best. Its only strength was its cloaking device, which was now useless.
“You know when I said, ‘get this over with’ I didn’t think you would just throw yourself at me. I thought you said you wanted a rematch?”
A display showed up on her screen with a video feed of her enemy, and she was surprised that even with the filter it provided the human looked just as greasy and disgusting as normal. Perhaps even more so, if that was possible. Her opponent roared,
“This is our rematch!”
Goading her enemies was something Tak had trouble avoiding and hated to admit it, but she chastised herself saying that Zim was rubbing off on her and hated that even more. In the instance she thought this to herself her opponent had already charged at her again and was able to land a blow. Tak quickly brought herself to attention and used her opponent’s over extension against him as he spurred a flurry of attacks, and was able to land a powerful counter. The blow was not fatal but the stun it provided allowed Tak to finish him off in her own sequence of attacks or “COMBOS” as Gaz had corrected her before. Tak even tried to remember one of the strings Gaz showed her last time they played together.
“Down, down, up, up, right, left, right, left. Or was it reverse? Was there an ‘X’ somewhere? Or was it ‘B’?”
She continued thinking like this to herself while she was attacking and complained that humans should streamline their attack commands if they ever wanted a chance against a more efficient species. True to any video game however, simply mashing buttons brought her to victory without even focusing and her opponent’s ship was rubble in no time at all. The computer screen on her ship beamed “PLAYER 2 WINS!” and an electronic fanfare blasted into her ears which together with the strobe lights was almost making her nauseous. Thankfully her work was done, and she removed the virtual reality helmet she had been wearing during the fight and found herself in the familiar arcade Dib had managed to drag her into.
Her opponent: the greasy, sweaty, and annoying human, was banging his fists on the computer console and his helmet, managing to hurt himself doing so. He tore off his helmet and glared at Tak while shouting again,
“I want a rematch!”
“That was your rematch.” Tak responded. “And like the first one, it wasn’t much of a match.”
“I would have beaten you, if it weren’t for your bullshit!”
Tak pricked up her brows at that. “Really? Cause from where I’m looking the ship you choose could probably be called ‘bullshit’. I however would call it more of a crutch.”
“It’s not a crutch! It’s a perfectly fair and balanced mechanic! Your ship was the one that’s unfair, it completely counters anything I could throw at it.”
“Why didn’t you pick a ship that was better equipped at fighting it then? I choose the same ship twice.” She removed the gloves to the simulation and got out of her seat while saying this, as indifferent towards him as was physically possible.
“Because I don’t need bullshit like you to kick your ass!”
“Evidently you do, or else you would have won.” She ended their conversation honestly, but her opponent didn’t appreciate it and was now spewing Earth profanities at her as she went away, which she did not care to pay attention to. She wasn’t upset at the profanities, it just made him that much more annoying, but she did feel sorry for him. She knew his emotions would only distract him and never let him improve, and just thinking about that concept made her stomach turn over. The crowd that had surrounded them during their battled seemed to be disappointed and pitied her opponent, but knowing humans she doubted it was for the same reason as her.
“Come along Mimi, let’s find Dib. I’ve had enough of this place.” Her loyal SIR unit, disguised as a cat, followed her in suit after collecting tickets that came from her machine, the purpose of which, still eluded Tak. She then made her way through the crowded and began the search for her big-headed boyfriend.
She had agreed to come to this arcade at request of Dib in hopes of having a “normal” date night. “You know without fighting off intergalactic threats, or hunting paranormal creatures, or having to make sure Zim doesn’t blow up the universe with one of his inane schemes.” She could hear him speak in her memory, and she still didn’t understand what was so much better about a “normal” date. Those fights were at least exciting and even if the enemy was smelly or annoying she was allowed to hit them. The bigfeet stalking he took her on typically ended in the two of them just walking through the forest and talking about anything, which was perfect as far as she was concerned. And not having to worry about Zim depended on Zim, and the probability of him taking a night off to make sure he didn’t spoil their night was about as likely as either one of them ever being allowed within a parsec of Irk again. Their entire night had been a let down from the beginning. As soon as they had set foot into the arcade she was overcome by the smell of old popcorn and stale candy, with jarring sound effects coming from every corner she looked. The dim lights contrasted by the bright consoles reminded her of a miserable city-planet she saw long ago, and the patrons where just as charming as they were clean.
Dib had tried to win her over when he saw how disappointed she knew she looked, he tried to tell her that the real attraction to the place were the games, not the ambiance. Though she had trouble seeing how any of the games could pass for recreation. The first game he brought them to was called “Sky Ball” or some other such nonsense, the purpose of which entailed rolling balls up a ramp into goal posts. While that may have proven a challenge for humans an Irken smeet could probably play that game, and she had been able to beat Dib with a perfect score using fundamental physics. Not to say Dib did horrible, but not perfect. Another game they played involved a battle simulation and Tak was confused how such a thing was meant as recreation and not military training. Another one involved playing as a yellow circle gathering pixels while avoiding ghosts, or one of Dib’s other interests, that clearly followed a predefined path, and so were easily avoidable to the point where she could have beaten the game in her sleep. Every other game they played followed suit similarly, if Tak was playing she found it either too easy or uninteresting, and if they played together Dib didn’t provide an adequate challenge for her. She was very happy that losing didn’t seem to bother Dib too much, definitely not as much as the human she just beat. Eventually he was just as bored by the arcade as she was and the two of them left to the food court section of the arcade to sit down and eat. Dib ordered a plate of nachos for them to split which were adequate except for the cheese which tasted more like syrup than cheese, and she had gagged on it. She then tried to wash it down with a drink from there which she nearly threw back up from the taste and way it burned her throat. While she had spent some time on the planet and built up a resistance to its filth, it didn’t do too much to help. Dib freaked out more than she did and probably would have carried her all the way back to her base if she let him. Tak was able to compose herself though and told him she was fine, but having had enough of their food she told him she needed a moment to walk it off. It was during that time that she ran into the apparent “champion” of the ship battle simulator, which she of course found to be anything but.
Right now she was exhausted of the arcade and just wanted to find Dib and maybe enjoy the walk home together. She made her way back to the food court but was only able to find the empty table they sat at before she left. She was just about to call him and save herself the time looking for him when Mimi grabbed her attention and pointed to familiar trench coat at the far end of the food court. Dib was on a small platform connected to a console doing what she assumed (and dreaded) was some sort of Earth dance, but it seemed that he couldn’t decide if he wanted to be fluid or firm in his movements. His feet were moving up and down the platform in a sporadic manner, but his upper body for the most part wasn’t doing all too much except for when he occasionally brought up his arms for emphasis of a move. While normally she would have been annoyed at him making a fool of himself, after the fiasco their date night had been it was refreshingly humorous. Still, she wasn’t in the mood to stay there any longer than she had to and made her way over to him. As she got closer she could make out on the main screen was a series of arrows overlaid on graphics scrolling from the bottom of the screen to the top and on the platform were corresponding symbols. Blasting out of the consoles speakers was the most jarring music Earth had to offer. So her fears were right and it was a dancing simulator, if the humans could even call it dancing. She approached Dib just as the music was reaching its climax and didn’t try to hide the bewilderment in her voice.
“What on Irk are you doing?”
Dib was caught off guard and immediately spun around to her voice. “Tak! Are you feeling better now?” He was leaning over the guardrails on the platform, evidently a little tired out from his excursion.  
“I’m fine.” She answered tersely, “But I’m ready to leave. I’ve had enough of this arcade.” She was looking past Dib at the machine, unable to hide her sickening curiosity of it. “What is this ridiculous contraption?”
“This? It’s DDR. Do you want to play a round before we go?”
Tak double checked herself to make sure she heard him correctly. “Are you serious? I just told you I’m ready to leave, I’m not in the mood for ‘a round’ of another one of your dumb Earth games!”
“Yeah, but…This one’s different.” Dib pointed behind him as he spoke sheepishly to her.
“Different?”
“Yeah all the other games we’ve played have been pretty straight forward. Applying physics, shooting stuff, avoiding AI patterns-”
“-Basic combat strategies.”
“Which one did we play that was about that?”
“I was playing against someone else when I went for my walk. It’s not important.” She waved her hand away as she said this, brushing the subject aside. “How is this one different?”
“Well this game is really about testing timing and coordination, you have to keep your feet to the beat, and also you need the stamina to last till the end of the song. So really its more about your physical fitness than anything else. This is also probably the game I’m the best at here, it’s the only one I’ve ever been able to beat Gaz on.”
“You’ve beaten Gaz on this?” Tak’s interest was piqued, Gaz was incredibly skilled at video games and on the few ones she liked to play against her Gaz always provided an excellent challenge. Gaz hadn’t beaten her every time they played of course, Tak was constantly improving herself and knew it was only a matter of time before she could beat Gaz consistently.
“Yeah, really just because she doesn’t really like this game.”
Tak knew Dib had an ego, but she also noted he tried to diminish it when he was hanging out with her, which she thought was sweet and also good for him. She felt better about not telling him this, in case it would counteract the attempt he was making.
“Well I still don’t know if I want to play this.” Tak said standing with her arms crossed staring at the machine.
Dib grew a grin after she this, “You’re interested in it though.”
“I’m not.”
“Ah, see? There’s that Irken stubbornness I’ve come to admire.”
“I’m not being stubborn. I’m just not interested.” Tak said this even though she was interested in the game a little bit, if only because Dib said he was able to beat Gaz at it, and that is was different from everything else she tried tonight. Even while thinking this, she still wasn’t sure she was interested enough to try it.
“Come on, we’ll play one game and then I’ll walk you home.”
“One game?” Tak asked still folding her arms over her chest, but saying and doing not much else.
“One game. And then I’ll take you home or anywhere else you want to go for the night.”
Tak stood there weighing her options, and eventually it seemed to Dib that Tak’s curiosity got the better of her.
“Fine.” She dragged out, “One game, then take me home.”
Dib did a small fist-pump after hearing this and started setting up the machine.
“The game’s really simple Tak. I’m going to pick a song and on the screen arrows are going to scroll up. When they reach their outlines at the top you just press the matching buttons on the floor. You get extra points for staying in rhythm so if Irkens have any sense of that you’ll have to show me tonight.”
“We don’t have music on Irk Dib, any such distractions are viewed as detrimental to productivity. And so doesn’t go well for the Empire. Even so, I doubt this will be an issue for me.”
Dib made a small raspberry, “Wow. You Irkens really are a happy bunch? I’m honestly surprised Zim’s one of your species.”
“Dib. It’s bad enough for me that you interact with him when we’re all in the same room. Please don’t make this date even worse than it’s already been by bringing him up.”
Dib rolled his eyes at that but didn’t say anything further to the point. “Do you care which song I pick then?” He said this as he took off his trench coat and hanged it on the platform railing.
“They’re all equally hideous to me Dib, but pick something with a bit less ‘pop’ in it. I find those kinds of songs completely unbearable.”
“This one is probably more your style then.” Dib said as he choose the song on the menu, “Techno-Something” or some other nonsense Tak didn’t bother to read. Before they completed the setup Dib noticed Tak taking a long look over the screen then was usually normal for her.
“This should be easy Dib.”
“Don’t sound too sure of yourself Tak, you know I’m full of surprises.”
She grinned slyly at that but didn’t say anything. Dib asked her a final time if she was ready, and after she said she was the game started and a techno mashup blasted through the speakers. It wasn’t one of Dib’s favorite songs, and it didn’t help that the track had a difficult sequence in the beginning. He was putting in his all regardless, and was able to do decent at first but noticed a fall in his quality as the song drew on.
“What’s a matter sweet Dibble, getting tired already?” Tak cooed over to him.
Dib was so focused on his own screen that he hadn’t looked over to Tak at all, when he did he was stunned to see her screen performing a perfect score but her not moving at all. More so from the shock he hunched over and grasped for breath while asking how she was doing that. Then Dib was reminded that his girlfriend was an Irken Invader. She let out a laugh that would send him into a panic if he still thought of her as an enemy. While she was doing so he saw her pak legs fade in and out of visibility as they flawlessly performed the sequence on the screen.
“That’s cheating Tak.” Was all Dib could say.
“Cheating? I’m not cheating. I’m just using my own advantages to my benefit. It’s not my fault you’re a weak human.”
“Yeah but the purpose of the game is to use your own body. I could probably disassemble this whole thing and reprogram it to always give me a perfect game, but I wouldn’t be actually playing the game at that point. Same as you using your pak to play it for you.”
“Yeah, well too bad. Looks like neither of us are playing now, so there’s no point in arguing over technicalities. And I believe our agreement was you’d take me home after we were done. So let’s get going.”
Tak stepped off the platform as she said this and began walking away before Dib interrupted her.
“It’s okay Tak, I get that you need a crutch.” She didn’t say anything but she stopped in her tracks and visibly tighten. “I mean hell, if I had a robot backpack attached to me my whole life, and I depended on it to do all my physical work for me, I don’t think I’d feel too confident in my ability to play this game either. But hey like you said, we’re not playing anymore. But don’t worry we won’t be coming back here so you won’t have to worry about this catching up to you.”
Dib stepped off the platform as he said this and went next to Tak after he grabbed his trench coat off the guard rail. He could see her shaking slightly, he thought from anger, and was worried for a second that he may have touched a sore spot for her. His concern didn’t last after she spoke to him.
“Dib. Make no mistake. I am way stronger, faster, and more agile than you.”
“Right, which you totally just proved.”
“I don’t need to prove anything to you!” She said spinning around to him. The anger in her voice would have sent him into a panic years ago but since then he’s learned a thing or two about her.
“Oh what’s a matter? The little Irken’s afraid of losing to the human.” He teased her.
The two of them were both facing each other as they talked, and Tak after hearing this came close to him and forcefully pointed into Dib’s chest repeatedly for emphasis as she said,
“Never call me little. Ever. Again.”
“Alright, alright.” Dib laughed off. “The very tall, smart, and pretty Irken is afraid of losing to the small, dumb, ugly human.”
Dib leaned over her as he said this and even picked himself slightly off his tippy toes for a moment. Dib was a good bit taller than she was even with how tall she had become while staying on Earth. Tak hated the fact that Dib had grown to be so tall, and hated that she liked it so much.
“You don’t really mean your pak does all the work for you.” Dib tried to say this as smoothly as he possibly could.
Tak backed away from him for a moment and squinted while bringing her hand to her eyes. “Dib, I know exactly what you’re trying to do-”
“-and it’s working?!” Dib interrupted her sounding very hopeful.
She brought her hand over her head and brushed it through her hair. “You are the most annoying human on this planet, and the second most annoying thing overall.”
“Careful Tak, keep talking like that and you’ll end up making my ego bigger than yours.”
“Please. It’s only an ego if you can’t back it up.” Without another word she stretched herself and stood back up on the platform, the previous song having already ended while they were talking.
“Let’s just get this over with. I don’t care what song you pick. Let me just beat you so we can both go home.”
“If that’s the case then I’m going to pick my favorite song on here. I want to give you a real challenge.”
“If you manage to actually do that, that’ll be the biggest surprise this evening.”
Dib glared at that but didn’t say anything related to it. He set up the game and the two of them were preparing themselves.
“And no cheating this time.” Dib said.
“I don’t need to.” Tak hissed out.
There was silence between the two of them as the game counted down before beginning, and Tak could feel the tension between the two of them growing unbearable. Right before it did Dib said playfully,
“I love you Tak!”
Tak was caught off guard by his statement, if only because she didn’t know if he meant it sincerely, if he was just loosening the tension by being weird, or if he was trying to distract her. She was ready to say something in response, what she was going to say she wasn’t sure, but she was interrupted by the start of the round before she could say anything. A gushy pop song blasted through the speakers, it seemed Dib was throwing all the cards against her now, but she was more determined to win now than she had been before in a very long time. The first opening seconds of the song was easy as all the movements followed a predictable sequence, and Tak was able to land all the movements. She noticed she wasn’t earning a perfect score, as the system indicated she hit the correct buttons but not in “beat”, which she now assumed was a more precise timing.
“This is your song Dib? I’m falling asleep here, if that was your plan it’s working.”
“Don’t boast too soon Tak, it’s about to heat up.”
Not a second after Dib said this, the music faded from its current style to a rest. Tak thought it sounded like the low rumblings before an avalanche, and then the song blasted into a crescendo. Tak attempted to follow along but the previous sequence the song followed briefly in the beginning was gone, and the new one seemed almost random, and the music jarring to her. Her feet shuffled trying to hit the pattern, but she was losing all over the place, and felt clumsy on her feet like she had never used them before.
“Not so easy now, is it Tak?”
She could hear Dib goad next to her. She looked over to him for a second and found he was just as clumsy as she was, probably even worse. She didn’t say anything to this though, she just gritted her teeth and growled slightly while trying to focus. She would win this yet. She tried to recover and find the beat, but every time she got the pattern down it seemed the song would change it just to mitigate her progress. She found herself lifting her arms in emphasis of her movements subconsciously, like how she saw Dib do earlier. She was not going to give up, an Invader would never give up even in the face of total defeat. She eventually found a pattern to the madness, and while she wasn’t hitting every note the song threw at her she felt she was a far cry away from losing. The song had only been going on for a minute or less but she felt it had lasted ages and was already feeling drained. Imagine her joy when she looked over to Dib again and saw he looked more tired than her.
“Give it up Dib.” She started, panting for breath slightly in between moves. “I’ve studied your human physiology, your body can’t produce nearly the same amount of energy as an Irken. You may have been fine at the start of the song, but there’s no way you can beat me now. Without a squeedlyspooch it’s just not possible.”
“Yeah Tak?” Dib started panting just as hard as Tak, “Well it seems like your knowledge of humans is totally off. I’ll have you know we humans get what’s called an ‘adrenaline rush’. Which is this big burst of energy that makes us like fifteen times stronger. It happens all the time, and old ladies can use it to pick cars off of babies.”
“Really?” Tak asked clearly disbelieving.
“Yeah. And you know what? I think mines about to kick in!”
Dib picked up his pace for as long as he could after he said this to help the illusion. He wasn’t sure if Tak bought his bluff, but he could have sworn he saw her try to match his speed and swore under her breath. He couldn’t have chosen a better time to do what he did. The song had ended right when he felt like he would have collapsed if he went on any longer. The two of them weren’t mouthing off at each other after it ended, they had been too tired to do so, and where instead hunched over the guard rail facing the console panting heavily. Tak’s score shot up first: “C-”.
“Hah! Beat that Dib!”
While Tak had said this as boastfully as possible Dib could tell she was extremely disappointed with her score, and hoped it wouldn’t bother her too much later. Dib’s score showed up next, he wasn’t sure what he was hoping for before it came up, but it was on the screen before he could decide: “C+”.
“I… I won?”
Was all Dib could say, as he felt there were eyes burning into the back of his head. If any were though it wasn’t Tak’s. He looked next to him and saw she was still staring at the screen and watched her expression change from shock to complete anger. Dib wasn’t sure if he was more scared of or worried for her.
“Hey Tak, don’t worry about it. It’s only a game.”
He said trying to mitigate the situation but worried he only made things worse. She was breathing heavily, a look of anger still on her. She grabbed the metal guard rail and Dib thought for a moment she was going to crush it with her hands. She must have realized she couldn’t (or decided not to crush it) and instead brought her hands to the rubber padding at the middle of the railing and slowly tore that off, which Dib knew was no easy feat. Her breathing seemed to quite after she did this and Dib hoped she calmed herself down, but right after that Tak turned around and walked away from the console. Dib called out to her but she was ignoring him completely, and not wanting to lose sight of her he went after her without even grabbing his trench coat. He didn’t get more than a few steps before he tripped over something.
“Really Mimi?”
He called out looking around him, but Tak’s Sir unit was just collecting tickets from the machine. It gave Dib a quizzical and angry look as she did so behind her disguise, seeming to state she didn’t trip him but was happy he did. He got up and grabbed his trench coat before going after Tak, glaring at Mimi the whole time. He looked around and called for Tak again but she was nowhere in sight. He assumed she went to the exit and was headed there when he saw Mimi go off deeper into the arcade. Knowing Mimi was a bit more loyal (or at least more obedient) than Gir would be in a situation like this and that she had a sixth sense for Tak’s general whereabouts he followed her in tow. They ended up in the section of the arcade that had the older cabinets that weren’t as popular, and as far as Dib could tell it was just him and Mimi there. He heard a sound like something banging hard against the side of the metal cabinets and he and Mimi both went towards the sound. They found Tak, her head buried in a corner between a wall and an old cabinet, and she wasn’t saying or doing anything. Mimi went up to her and padded at her legs with her paws while mewing, but Tak did not respond in anyway.
“Tak?” He called out cautiously to her.
“That was horrible.” Was all she said.
Dib rubbed the back of his head as he said, “Really Tak it wasn’t that bad.”
“Yes. It was.” Tak stated this flatly, and Dib could sense the frustration in her voice. “It’s bad enough that I lost to you by two whole grades, but the fact that you weren’t in peak condition and I was means I would have lost worse if we were even.”
“I wasn’t tired Tak, that was me giving my all. And you did play really well for the first time. I mean, I’m nowhere near good at that game, I’ve seen people play it before that’ll destroy anything I got, and you really didn’t do as bad as you think.” Dib was nervous and stumbled out his words as he tried to cheer up Tak.
“Don’t fucking patronize me! You know how stupid I looked out there! That thing made me feel like I’ve never used my feet before!” Tak slammed the side of the cabinet again, and turned around to glare at Dib.
“Okay, okay Tak! It’s just a game. You don’t need to get angry.” He brought his hands to his face as he said this and felt a familiar sense of self-preservation taking over him. Tak girted her teeth and clenched her fist harder as she turned around to stare into the corner again.
“I am not angry about the game.”
“You’re-You’re not?” Dib said dumb founded.
“No. I’m not, I’m furious, but it’s not about the game. It’s about how much I’m letting this thing get to me.”
“I don’t understand.”
Tak seemed to curl inward of herself and became smaller before she spoke, “Irkens don’t get mad. Or if they do they don’t let it get in their way. The fact of the matter is that I failed, and when that happens one of two things follow for an Irken: you’re disposed of. Either demoted or removed. Or, you learn from it, and never let it happen again. I shouldn’t be so angry that I can’t focus on what I did wrong and how I fix myself. I should be calm, focused, and determined.”
Tak lowered her voice as she finished and tried to remain collected, brushing a hand through her hair, but Dib saw frustration return to her face before she even finished.
“I shouldn’t be thinking about how much I hate that game, and how stupid it is, and how I never want to play it again, but I just feel angry and I CAN’T STOP FUCKING FEELING THIS WAY!”
Tak punched the side of the cabinet again which made an incredibly loud noise and Dib saw it leave a dent that would definitely be noticed by someone later. Tak didn’t do or say anything else after this, and Dib didn’t know how to try to comfort her, or if he really knew what she was going through. Mimi stopped padding her legs after her final outburst, and went away into the arcade again, Dib wasn’t sure what she was up to “Maybe she’s giving us some time alone?” He thought to himself, and so tried to make the most of it.
“Tak.” He started awkwardly not knowing what to say. “I get it, you’re angry.”
“You think?” She responded harshly through her teeth. Which Dib thought was better than her just being quite, but he wasn’t entirely sure.
“Yeah but I think you’re angry for the wrong reasons. I get, you know, losing at a game sucks. It’s normal that you’re angry about it, but don’t be angry about being angry.”
“I’m not angry about being angry.” She said this with a bit less malice in her voice. “I’m angry that I can’t focus.”
“Right which I think is dumb. What does it matter that you’re not set on getting better at a game you said you’ll never play again?”
“Because an Irken would never be like that,” Tak turned away from her corner to look at Dib as she said this, “an Irken would rise to the challenge no matter what!”
“Well you’re a far cry from Irk now. Maybe you should stop living like you’re under the Empire still. Maybe you should live the way you actually want to now and not the way they would want you to. Here on Earth you can do that.”
Dib thought what he said was pretty inspirational, but Tak didn’t seem too convinced and shook her head slightly before continuing.
“Dib, do you remember when I went to walk-off that disgusting Earth food? I said I was playing another game with someone else. The human I was playing against got so angry when I beat him. So angry that all he could focus on was how angry he was, when I could see, and I knew he could see, how he could have done better if he just looked at what happened objectively and not emotionally. That’s me right now, I’m so focused on my anger that I can’t get better.”
“Well…then I’d say you’re better than he was, at least you’re self-aware.”
“What does it matter that I’m self-aware if I’m still like this, that I’m still def-. That I’m still angry?” Tak turned away from him again into the corner, the faintest look of sadness in her eyes that was almost invisible.
Dib didn’t need to be his dad to figure out what was bothering Tak the most (actually he doubted his dad could figure it out, he never really was much of a people person). Dib knew the “D-Word” was a really sore topic for Tak, one she rarely ever brought up, and if she did she would never want to go any further into it than the length of the conversation brought it. So he tried to cheer her up one last time.
“Well then just be angry. The game’s stupid anyway.” This was all he said to her, and for a moment there was a period of silence in which neither of them spoke or did anything else. Eventually Tak was the one who broke the silence.
“I really hate that game.” She said this with deep loathing in her voice, and turned from her corner to Dib again.
“You’re not the only one, I’m sure.”
“Can we go destroy it?” Tak said with joyous anticipation in her voice, and turned fully away from the corner to face Dib.
“That’ll probably get us kicked out of here permanently, so no.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“I mean the four of us will probably want to come back here again when we all want to hang out. And I know you’ll want to keep trying you’re hand at beating Gaz again.”
“I’ve already beaten her before.” Take said annoyed crossing her arms.
“Beating her some more is what I meant. Gaz would love to play against you on one of the games here.”
“I’m not playing against her on the dancing game.” Tak said almost growling, and Dib tried to back pedal to save himself.
“I never said you would. I said Gaz hates it too, remember?”
Tak still had her arms crossed while they were talking, and she looked more annoyed than upset or angry, so Dib thought she was better but not completely. Even while she looked annoyed she couldn’t manage to look at him in the eyes. Right as they were done talking Mimi came back mewing at Tak’s legs again, but Tak completely ignored her. Dib noticed she was holding a receipt paper in her mouth.
“What do you have here Mimi?” Dib said and reached down for her, and was pleased and surprised that Mimi gave it to him. He looked over it before showing it to Tak.
“It looks like Mimi’s been collecting all of our tickets for the night. I honestly forgot this arcade even had them, and we got over 25,000 to spend.”
Tak tore the ticket out of Dib’s hand and looked over the receipt herself.
“I have no basis for this currency. Is this a lot?”
“Probably enough for us to get anything we want at the prize counter.”
Tak tossed away the receipt towards Dib. He caught it as she started walking away.
“Is that supposed to interest me?”
“We could probably find a toaster or something for you to fiddle with and make a bomb out of if that interests you.”
“Dib, you know the device you call a ‘toaster’ doesn’t have near enough parts to turn it into a practical improvised explosive.”
“Well, you could probably find something else and turn it into something to prank Zim with next time we see him.”
Tak grew a huge grin at the mention of that. “Maybe I can find something to scar or frighten him.”
“So we’ll go to the prize counter and get something?”
Dib went up next to her and grabbed her hand. Tak then leaned into his shoulder and sighed before saying,  
“Do that, and then take me home.”
* * *
“Man… the ticket prices sure have gone up since I was a kid.” Dib said as he scanned the prize counter from top to bottom.
“Inflation is typically a natural course for an ungoverned economy, and this place hardly seems like the type to have any regulation.” Tak said condescendingly.
The two of them were standing next to one another, their hands still intertwined. Tak was leaning her head against Dib, but looked more exhausted than affectionate.
“Is there really a point to us being here still? I don’t see anything I like.” Tak said, once again not hiding her annoyance.
“I’m trying to find you a gift remember?"
“Gift? Last I checked Dib I earned us most of the tickets we have. Doesn’t that make you more of an Indian giver?”
“No, that’s when you give something away only to take it back later.”
“Whatever! My point is I don’t need anything from here.”
“Yeah, but you’ve been having a shitty night. I just wanted to get you something to make up for it.”
Tak sighed in resignation, “Just pick something quickly, and let’s get out of here.”
Dib was looking as hard as he could, but he wasn’t finding anything he thought Tak would enjoy. She liked to dabble in examining “primitive Earth technology” every once in a blue moon purely for fun, but all of them were in the upper millions. They did have a toaster funnily enough, but that was half a million, so also out of budget. The only items they could afford where the small to medium sized stuffed animals, and some other toys. Thankfully it was just the two of them at the prize counter and the employee running it was preoccupied on his phone, so he spoke to Tak freely about what she’d really use the potential gift for.
“What about that can of slug?” He said pointing to a cheap toy labeled Biohazardous Waste, “I’m sure it’ll burn Zim a little bit, or you could poison his lunch with it.”
Tak came to attention at his suggestion and was considering it for a moment but said, “Nah, I could probably synthesized something worse on my own.”
“Okay well how about that laser?” He said pointing to a plastic laser toy on the wall which boasted the ability to shoot real lasers.
“Really? I could make better firearms in my sleep. Even if I was just going to examine it for amusement I doubt I’d get any enjoyment from it.”
“Okay well how about that?” Dib said, this time pointing to a box for a cat leash with a picture of little girl towing a cat along. “It would help you keep an eye on Mimi.”
Mimi hissed and scratched at Dib’s leg at the suggestion, which prompt a small laugh from Tak, afterwards she said playfully,
“Oh, I don’t know Mimi, Dib’s got a point. You’ve been awfully rambunctious lately.”
Which earned a low growl from Mimi in response.
“So I’ll get that for you?” Dib said hopefully.
“If you want to sure, but honestly I’ll never use it.”
This was becoming a difficult decision for Dib. He didn’t want to get a gift for Tak, just for the sake of it. If he was going to get her something it would have to be something she’d actually want or at least used everyone once in a while. He’d might as well just get her a stuffed toy at that rate. When that idea flashed into his head, he thought that could work, so long as he got her something novel enough that she’d want to keep. He looked briefly at the lineup of stuffed toys on the shelf when he saw one he thought she’d enjoy.
“How about a stuffed toy?”
“Really Dib? I know it’s human tradition for the male to purchase a stuffed creature for his mate and it matches your theme of a ‘normal’ date, but that would be the absolute last thing I’d want from here.”
“Really cause I was thinking of getting you that one.” Dib said pointing to a stuffed toy in the shape of a flying saucer, complete with the traditional green alien sewed onto the glass dome. “Is does kind of match you.” He said teasingly.
“Honestly Dib that’s…” Tak sounded like she was going to berate him at first but after she saw the toy she grew a curious expression on her face. “…actually, I never noticed it before. But that ship design does look frighteningly similar to the style Žertians typically use, and the pilot doesn’t look too different from one of them.”
“Really?” Dib said with fascination before he took out a note book from his pocket and started writing down.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting the name down, so next time I see one of those on the radar I can call them by it.”
“I would be cautious before you do that, the Žertians are a pretty unpredictable species in how they act. They’ve taken to interstellar nomadism since the Empire conquered their home planet, and they’ve been known to abduct other species for all kinds of purposes.”
“Really? Well that would explain a few things if it’s not just a coincidence.”
“Hey are you two going to buy something or what?” The clerk said annoyed from behind the counter, still engrossed in his phone.
“We’re busy deciding.” Tak replied angrily.
“Well could you hurry it up?”
“We’re not preventing you from playing on your primitive little phone by being here.”
“Uh… are you sure about that?” The clerk raised his phone up to them so they could see it as he spoke but neither of them could see what he was doing on it.
Tak let out an annoyed grunt, but before she could say or do anything else Dib yelled to the clerk, “We won’t be much longer.” And then turned to Tak to say, “Do you want the spaceship?”
“No, but for the sake of getting us out of here I’ll choose one of the stuffed monsters.”
“You really want one?”
“Not really, but if I’m going to get anything here it better be something I could see myself actually wanting, even if it’s just to throw out later.”
Tak stepped away from Dib and went up to the clerk and said,
“Service drone-”
“I have a name you know?” The clerk replied.
“It’s not important.”
“It’s Karl.”
“Carl…” Tak said, bringing her hand to her eyes to squint in exasperation.
“Karl with a K.”
“The spelling of your name has no determinable affect to how I pronounce it. But, Carl with a K, I’m in need of an ugly stuffed toy to complete my date with my boyfriend. So show me the best stuffed monsters you have.”
“Uh, can’t you see them for yourself?”
“I don’t know what their significance is, so I need you to dictate them to me so I can select the superior one.”
“You’ve never been to zoo, or looked at these animals in a book before?”
“I probably have, but I couldn’t have been bothered to remember them.” Tak said crossing her arms with an air of indifference.
Dib walked up to the counter and said with only a small sense of concern in his voice, “That won’t be needed Tak, I can just tell you about them myself. What about that one there?” He pointed to a small stuffed black cat on the wall, which earned him another hiss from Mimi.
“Exactly, I have already have Mimi for that. Honestly Dib that one’s  a worse suggestion than the spaceship.”
“Well how about that one? It’s a lion, they’re hunters on the top of the food chain where they live.”
“Better, but too similar to Mimi.”
“The gray one next to it with tusks and a long nose? They’re called elephants and they’ve been known for their intelligence.”
“How intelligent? Do you have a written language or use weapons?”
“I’ve heard they use sticks and shit as tools, and might have some sort of language they use.” Karl said without looking up from his phone.
“I thought you said you were too busy to educate me on the stuffing’s?”
“I can still commentate.”
“Forget him.” Dib said, “How about that one, a honey badger right?”
“Honey badgers are the best. They just don’t give a fuck.” Karl said.
“Their nihilism doesn’t impress me. Next.”
The three of them went on like this until they exhausted all the stuffed animals they could afford, and Dib was ready to give up when Tak pointed out a small one they missed.
“How about that one?” She said pointing to a small rodent like animal, it was so small but it costed 27,500 tickets.
“The uh…muskrat?” Dib said, bemused both at her interest in it and at its price.
“Hey man that one’s a mongoose, they’re like super tough and fight rattle snakes and shit.”
“They fight cobras.” Dib said, who had become more irritated with Karl than Tak had.
“And these cobras?” Tak started intrigued. “They’re some genus of snakes, correct?”
“Yeah, they’re big, venomous, and prey on humans and other animals all the time. But they’re mongooses prey and they kill them easily.”
Tak pondered on what Dib told her for a moment, after which she said, “That one will do.”
“We’ll take the it then.” Dib said not missing a beat.
After he said that Karl finally got off his phone and grumbled something about ‘choosing one he had to get a ladder for’ and went into the back room presumably for said ladder.
“So why the mongoose?” Dib asked her once he was out of sight.
“I actually find it very similar to an Invader: small and unassuming, but a powerhouse within!” Tak said  bringing her hand up into a fist for emphasis, “Plus I do like its aesthetic if I’m being honest.”
Karl came back out, pulled the stuffed toy off the shelf, and ask them for the tickets for it. Dib provided the receipt to him and Karl was handing it to him when Tak came over and snatched it out of his hands.
“Uh? That still leaves you with 500, if you guys want anything else.” Karl said perplexed by Tak’s actions.
“I think we’re good but thanks.” Dib started but was interrupted before he finished by Mimi pawing at his legs. She then pointed to a small shelf on the counter with Gummy Bears candy.
“Gummy Bears?” Dib said in disbelief turning to Tak. He saw her intently fondling her new toy, and was distracted by his sudden question.
“Huh? Oh right. Mimi’s taken a liking to them. Get them for her if you don’t mind.” She said barely taking her attention from the toy.
Dib purchased them and presented the opened bag to her but Mimi let out a disgusted meow after he did.
“Oh right. She doesn’t care for the green ones.”
“Why doesn’t she like the green ones?”
“I don’t know why she likes anything. Just take out the green ones so I don’t have to hear her on the way back.”
Dib complied with the request sorting out the green ones in his hands, and was surprised to see Mimi eat directly out of his once the green ones were gone. He felt Mimi’s course tongue brush and tickle against his hands, and was surprised by how much detail Tak put into their disguises. Mimi purred with satisfaction upon finishing and even let Dib pet her. After they were done she went over to Tak, brushed against her legs, and purred again.
“Great. Are we done here?” Said Tak without looking up from her toy.
Dib said that they were, and after throwing the wrapper along with the green Gummy Bears into the garbage (and missing) the three of them left the arcade and began their walk back home. Their walk back was very uneventful, it mostly consisted of them talking about anything besides what happened that night. They talked about recent happenings at High Skool, Zim’s most recent hijinks which Dib had to bail him out of, that fact that Miss Bitters had died recently (which Dib still couldn’t get over), and that Gaz had entered into a video game tournament. They were almost to Tak’s home, but while they were talking Dib couldn’t help but feel like he was the one carrying the conversation. Tak had only supplied the odd comment here and there and was still very much fascinated by her stuffed toy she got. Dib was actually happy she was enjoying it so much, but he also thought is was uncharacteristic of her and was worried. So trying to ail his worry he said to her:
“You’re really into that mongoose I got you.”
“Huh? Yeah it’s strange actually.” She started saying, “Normally I’m very indifferent to any Earth toy, but this one specifically has captured my fascination. It’s like, I don’t know, like I have this gravitation towards this thing and I can’t help but fondle it.” Tak said while playing with it as she had done the entire walk home.
Dib guessed she was experiencing a new feeling and was relieved when he figured it out. “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘adorable’. As in you find the toy adorable.”
“What?” Tak said looking away from the toy, somewhat concerned.
“That feeling you’re describing for the toy. You can’t pull yourself away from it and all you want to do is ruffle it a bunch. That’s you finding it adorable.”
“Adorable…” She said the word to herself  while looking at the toy and then her eyes beamed. “Yes! Yes that’s it that’s exactly it. I find this toy adorable. Oh my tallest it’s so adorable!” and then she giggled as she brought the toy to her face, playing with it the whole time.
If Dib wasn’t surprised already, he was now. He couldn’t remembered ever seeing her so giddy over anything the whole time he’d known her, but he wasn’t the only one to notice. Mimi went up to her and started mewing and rubbing up against her try to get her attention, but all Tak did was shoo her away. Disgruntled Mimi then went to Dib and started doing the exact same thing to him. He was very confused and asked what Mimi was up to, but before he could finish Mimi jumped right at him and into his arms. Dib brought his arms up instinctively and wound up carrying her, after which she began purring and caressing him profusely. He was thoroughly confused again, but pleasantly surprised as she rarely let anyone but Tak carry or pet her.
“Why are you so friendly all of a sudden, was it the Gummy Bears?” He said playfully to her, but all she did was purr louder to him in response. “Oh I get it. Somebody’s jealous, you poor kitty.” He said this and then brought Mimi down from his face and cradled her in his arms to pet her. While he was doing so Mimi was looking at Tak the whole time, who by now was glaring at Mimi with daggers. She stopped playing with her toy then and walked up to the two of them, Mimi was overjoyed at her coming over, but it was not for the reason she thought it was.
“Mimi here, hold this for me.” Tak said as she pushed the stuffed mongoose into her, and grabbing Dib by the collar of his coat pulled him in for a kiss. Tak always felt bold whenever she kissed him. She wasn’t sure if it was because he was a human, or if was because she was an Irken and Irkens weren’t supposed to kiss. At any rate she wasn’t focused on why she felt that way, and was preoccupied with exploring her dumb human’s mouth. While normally the planet’s filth irritated her she was thankful Dib’s bodily fluids never did, he body must naturally filter it out, she could still feel something when they exchanged saliva, but only a slight tingle. His teeth always interested her whenever she got the chance to examine them. They weren’t like hers, which where hard cartilage, but instead bone with slicers in the front and round mashers in the back. His tongue interested her the most, while hers was long, firm, and cord like, his was flat, soft, and so very warm. She felt like she could wrap her whole tongue around his. She imagined her tongue as a cobra and his tongue as a mongoose, and that thought sent shivers over her body. After a moment they separated from each other and caught their breathe, immediately after which Tak said,
“Who’s jealous?” To which Dib replied,
“I don’t know I can’t remember.”
Mimi replied with a low growl to both of them, and then Tak gave into her.
“Fine.” She drawled out, “Come here, and hold my mongoose for me Dib.”
Tak took Mimi in her arms while Dib held onto her toy. She cradle Mimi while petting and rubbing at her, and Mimi responded with satisfied purrs.
“Oh Mimi. And you say I’m going native. Just as well though, I don’t think the two of us will be leaving this planet anytime soon.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Dib responded slightly miffed.
“It won’t be, with the right company anyway.”
The three of them had reached the gates of Tak’s home as they talked.
“Guess this is goodbye for the night, I hope you had a good time.” Dib said.
“I didn’t really, but it was bearable.”
“Well I hope I’m bearable to you.”
“You are, most of the time.” She teased him as she went for another kiss.
She turned away from him after they finished, and she went into her estate as the gates opened for her. Dib stood by and watched her as she made her way into her home. When she was out of sight he began his walk home. He was going over the night as he did, he thought it went well for the most part, and wasn’t completely ready to rule out the arcade for another one of their date nights. A few days later though, it would be him, Tak, Zim, and Gaz at his house playing video games. So he hoped Tak wasn’t completely tuckered out of them, but that was for another day.
* * *
This fan-fiction was largely inspired by this artwork. Made by ZimGalForevah on Deviantart.
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weedberries · 5 years ago
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I got this Invader Zim AU idea...
Ok so, there are so many people doing this im even a little ashamed just to come up with it but-
I’ve had many thoughts surrounding the smeet in issue #7 and i wanted to know what could’ve been.
Also, this idea sparked after i read this fanfic
It’s ZaDr btw.
So the concept is heavily based off of that fic.
On to it already.
The idea is that Zim left Earth to help the Empire against the Resisty, but it ended up horribly and Zim betrayed the Tallest after THE BEANS got spilled.
Basically, after the fall of the Irken Empire, Zim is too heartbroken to go back to Earth, since it would just give him bad memories, so instead, he becomes a beast hunter (this is something i got from issue #10) and just goes around from one planet to another, fighting and capturing beasts to sell them at good prices.
Eventually, he gets to the planet in issue #7 and the thing happens: he creates a smeet, BUT instead of getting it killed, he takes care of it, and basically becomes a dad, going on adventures hunting, and teaching his son, in his own unique Zim way.
Oh btw i got some concept art i guess
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Yeah i like Tall Zim (he’s still shorter than Dib tho)
Meanwhile, in Earth, Dib just goes nuts, then accepts it, becomes depressed as well, and Gaz helps him out a lot through it, even convincing him to do and finish college.
Dib decides to just follow his father’s steps (he’s well aware he is a clone at this point) and just lives everyday, quite dull and stressed.
When he decides to try dating to find something meaningful to keep going for, and fails, he gets himself a cloned daughter, thinking “maybe this is why im a clone myself” and not giving a flying fuck.
His daughter is born, he falls absolutely in love with the child and decides to change what his dad did, and actually takes good care of the child.
Here’s some art of them too
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So the actual idea was that the little smeet got lost, and ended up on Earth, how? My idea was: Monster haunt goes horribly wrong, kid becomes lost in fucking space. Thus, the smeet ends up in the last planet his dad would want to go to, but eventually has to because he loves his son way too much to leave him in rotting filth ball.
In Earth, the little Smeet is found by Gaz, who decides that since she’s in no proper condition to take care of an alien child, to leave it with her brother “he has a daughter, he’ll know what to do” but this was beyond terrible. Now Dib has to push his nostalgia back everytime the little irken does Zim stuff.
So Zim gets to Earth and begrudgingly goes to the only human he trust enough to help him. When he gets there he immediately says he WILL pull Dib’s fucking guts out if he refuses to help. But lucky for him, Dib kept the smeet safe and sound while he thought of what to do about him.
The point im trying to make is: TWO CHILDHOOD ENEMIES AND SINGLE DADS RECONECT AFTER MANY YEARS AND EVENTUALLY GET MARRIED, THE END. But not really because smeet and kid have to bond if they gonna be siblings.
So the whole thing would just be some mutual pinning because both of them little shits are to stubborn to confess that the other gave they’re existence meaning before the child did, because rejection is not an option for they’re sensitive asses. Did i mention the babeys do bonding stuff??
About the babeys
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The smeet is named Todd (guess why?) and he’s a cocky little shit just like dad. He thinks his dad is awesome and hopes he’ll grow to be just as cool an irken as him.
He doesn’t have a PAK, since he was born naturally, and ages at a different rate from other irkens (as of now, he’s 12 earth years).
He gets allong well with GIR.
When he gets to Earth he immediately befriended Dibs daughter.
Dib’s daughter is named Ann, she love her dad, but thinks he’s a little to clingy and overprotective at times, she gets along better with her auntie Gaz, the coolest aunt in the world, quoting her, and is just as curious as Dib.
She especially likes cats, which is a forbidden love for her since being a clone of Dib implies sharing his allergies.
She’s ten and smart as fuck, because again, clone.
That’s all i got for now, sorry for wasting ur time
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tiny-smallest · 5 years ago
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the sun’ll come out tomorrow
Rating: G Characters: Tallest Mikyuki, Dib, Membrane Warnings: none Description: Mikyuki takes her charge on a little field trip, reflecting about her current situation along the way. On the way back, something catches the toddler’s eye…
Also on AO3!
———
She really didn’t like the rain. Being the empress of an entire planet somewhat spoiled her, she’d admit. The blue eyed Irken squinted up at the sky from her seat at the window, scowling at the drops of water falling from the sky. Back at her old position as Tallest, should such an offending substance threaten her from a planet’s skies, she would have no less than a dozen Irkens at her side immediately with a number of things that could be used to ward off the downpour, and at least one would offer to atomize the planet for her.
She’d refuse, of course, but it was the offer that counted.
All right, in light of that, maybe she’s a lot spoiled. Even so, she can’t understand what anomalies this planet must produce so that acid falling from the sky would be a frequent occurrence. Or, perhaps even more unsettling, that its inhabitants—sentient and nonsentient—would be completely immune to its effects. Professor Membrane had nearly given her a heart attack the first time she’d seen it rain and he’d stepped outside into it; she was so sure based on that kitchen incident with the sink (that she would be taking to her death thank you very much) that he was going to melt. She had to admit she was jealous over his immunity to the water’s effects after she’d stopped fuming over him scaring her half to death. It didn’t look like she would be leaving this planet anytime soon. Her ship was far too wrecked; you could barely even tell it was a ship at some point. She’d be surprised she survived it, if not for the fact that she was a Tallest. Genes this good, she figured, gets one out of a lot of things.  
Apparently it even helped you survive a planet trying to punch you in the face with its gravity. Whatever. Miyuki was alive, that was the important thing. She was alive, and she had found an ally. She was forced to help him develop a smeet of his species so that she’d have an ally, but she had an ally.  
It’s better than nothing, and he was perfectly reasonable about it, and continued to be. The fact that she could and should skewer him should he become unreasonable was irrelevant and she refused to think on it anymore. Right now, she should probably be thinking more about the small creature tugging at her leg. Miyuki’s gaze turned from the wretched weather of this awful planet to the doe eyed toddler pulling on her skirt. She was silent for a moment; he was too short to see without looking up that he has successfully gotten her attention, and he had not looked up because he was too interested in the metal plating of the skirt. He poked at it with a tiny finger, scratching at it with the pitiful excuse that humans had for claws.  
It’s when he went to lick it that she cleared her throat and he, smart enough even at this stage of human development to recognize the sound for what it is, moved his eyes from the spot he’d selected for tasting to her face, tongue still out. “I am not food.” He squeaked. “If you are hungry, I will make something.” He tilted his head to the side. She sighed. “What is it that you want, Dilbert?” As an answer, he pointed to the digital clock in the cable box by the television. She raises an antenna in surprise. Membrane had said that thanks to his Irken genes Dilbert would evolve much, much faster than the average human smeet, but she had not expected a creature whose vocabulary was currently limited to “I,” “bottle,” “binkie,” and “dad” (she will ignore for the moment, as always, that the total words in his vocabulary are actually five) to be able to recognize the time, much less correlate the time with a specific event. Like the event that is supposed to be happening now but that Miyuki was entirely reluctant to do because of rain. “Dilbert, I think we will forgo our walk today.” A plaintive wail sent both antennae back. “No, it is raining. I do not like rain. It… hurts me. We will not venture out in it. Stop yelling.” The wailing continued. Blasted human smeet. Regular smeets could be irritating but at least they didn’t cry. They couldn’t. Human smeets, though, very much could and dear Irk please shut up.
Maybe agreeing to help his father make an heir was a mistake.
(Even as she thought it, something within her quailed at it.) Membrane was not here to help, Miyuki reflected with a frown. He was out for the day, at his laboratory, working on a new sort of teleportation technology that intrigued her and would very much like to pick apart sometime. Right now it was just her and the smeet. She would have to do something quickly if she wanted to keep herself from doing something she’d regret-
Wait, there was noise absent. Her eyes flicked from the crying child on the floor to the window. The patter of the rain was what had been missing for the past two minutes, and she had failed to realize it because of her focus on the much louder, much more annoying of the two sounds. Well then. The rain was gone but there would still be puddles. She scowled again, ready to reaffirm that she would not go outside today, but it turned into a grimace. 
No, she didn’t want to go outside today. But the human smeet needed sunshine and fresh air to grow properly—part of the requirements brought on by his human heritage—and now that it wasn’t actively raining, it would be prudent to give him what he needs.
Especially because it would make him shut up. “Fine, you win.” His sobs faltered and slow down some, and Miyuki shook her head, wagging a finger at him. “But only because it stopped raining. Wait here; I will go get ready.” She took swift strides to the doorway, and he followed on his clumsy little legs like the insolent creature he was. Typical. Something bubbled over in her chest and she let out a low laugh, shaking her head as she looked around the little bedroom that was hers now, so much smaller than her quarters at home. 
She, the Tallest, ruler of an entire planet, the greatest planet of the known universe, was playing smeetsitter to a hybrid that did not belong in existence, that was probably breaking about thirty Irken laws simply by being, and that could never and would never be accepted by either race should anyone learn what he truly was. All because she crash landed in the middle of universal nowhere and had no other way to return home but to suck up to the single creature on all of this backwards “Earth” planet that could help her so that he’d help her fix her ship.  
“I wonder,” she said to the toddler as she reached into her dresser for some Earthling clothing, “if someday you will also grow up to manufacture something that will try to eat me. I’ve had that experience once; I’m not…” Her throat tightened slightly  “… Keen on reliving it.”
His face remained in her head, however much it hurt that it did. Those big, eager eyes, the color of Vortian (and also, apparently, Earthen, which was just a delightful discovery) raspberries. That giant smile. Chirping voice that could turn to loud crowing at the drop of a hat. So very, pitifully small for an Irken, the smallest Irken on record; he should have died years ago when he was first hatched, or in training, but he didn’t. So enthusiastic and eager to please, so ready to prove himself, that he did everything and asked questions never.
The entire point of his job in weapons manufacturing was to keep him out of trouble, out of harm’s way. Far from a drone service, but as close to an Invader as possible. And he still found some way to screw it up, all in the name of…
“It’s for you, my Tallest! This is just a prototype, the real one will be much more deadly, much more worthy of being used by the Irken Armada! But, it, eh, felt like a waste to just throw it out, and it’s soft and squishy, and you like soft and squishy things, and it nuzzles and makes little chirpy happy noises, so I thought you’d like to keep it!”
Making her happy.
She looked over to Dilbert, now sitting on the floor, amusing himself by drawing patterns in the carpet with his little, round fingers.
He doodled when he was bored, too. 
Ugh. She had to stop torturing herself like this. Would he even be alive when she got back?
He survived this far. The brutal training, the initial activation, despite being too small… The Control Brains keep missing him entirely, even after talking with him directly…
Yes but he also has a penchant for disaster, and you’re no longer there…
Her insides squirmed. Dilbert was squirming. She shoved the thoughts from her mind and retreated into the bathroom with her things. A few minutes later she pushed the door open again, picking with distaste at the cloth and at the necklace around her throat. A simple blouse and matching skirt would ensure she blended in easily, and the jewelry added an extra touch of human normalcy, but she was still not entirely sure she liked wearing them. The clothes felt too light on her body, too loose. Still, dealing with clothing that felt oddly was much better than, say, being captured and dissected. Or being forced to flee for her life. She would put up with it.
Dilbert, mercifully still quiet, scrambled to join her at her side, taking hold of her skirt with one tiny hand. She scooped him into her arms, wincing at the human scent she still wasn’t used to, before carrying him from the room. He squirmed in her arms, cooing quietly, and didn’t resist when she set him down in his stroller. Kneeling beside him, she fastened him carefully into place and reached up to her necklace, pressing a button. 
The heat the hologram disguise generates tingled unpleasantly along her skin, but it protected her. At least in that way it was more useful than the clothes. And it was blue, too. 
She opened the front door and flinched when a blast of wind greeted her. Dilbert squinted his eyes at the sunlight peeping through the clouds, but showed no visible signs of distress, thanks to his father’s efforts to get the boy outside frequently.
She, however, was never going to get used to this ‘weather’ thing. Sure, sunny days she can manage, but wind tugged at her antennae and scattered scents! How was she supposed to get a read on her surroundings if she couldn’t pinpoint where anything was coming from? Then there was rain- rain was an abomination that doesn’t deserve to exist. Fog stung her face and whatever else wasn’t covered, and she didn’t like the sound of this ‘snow’ business. Or ‘heatwave.’  Apparently the snow thing would be coming soon, too. Ridiculous planet.
The air smelled sharp and the wind chilled her slightly. Maybe she should give up on this after all… No, no, think rationally. Did she have anything to deal with this? She did have a sweater, but she doesn’t like the feel of it- wait, yes she does! The coat! How did she forget about the coat!? It was only her favorite piece of clothing on this ball of dirt that calls itself a planet! Miyuki wheeled the child inside and, ignoring his cries of protest, left the living room to dart into her bedroom and fetch the black trench coat Membrane had purchased for occasions such as these. She grabbed the coat from the closet and pulled it on as she left the room, returning to the stroller and pushing it out the door. A quick pause to lock the door behind her. Not that she needed to with the intense amount of security, but might as well. And they were off. Finally She pulled the collar up around her mouth, using her other hand to steer the stroller around a puddle while hissing her hatred at the liquid. The sky was clearing, so more rain was highly unlikely, but even just the presence of puddles made her skin crawl. Stupid, Miyuki knows this; she was wearing boots and no water can get in. But still, who willing stepped in collections of acid even with protective gear? It took a little longer to reach the park and her steering had to get really creative occasionally, but eventually they left the sodden sidewalk behind for… soggy grass, mud, paths that are pocketed with more accursed puddles, and a playground that’s completely unusable due to how soaked it is. No, don’t shake a fist at the sky; you’ll look insane. Letting out a deep breath instead, she rolled the carriage back and forth slightly as her eyes closed, letting out a low hum. Well, the park wasn’t an option today. Was there anywhere else to take him where the little hybrid could spend at least an hour outdoors without too much water?
… Not… really.  The Irken groaned. Fine. Back they go.   Stupid Earth weather. With a huff she turns the wheels and starts pushing on the stroller. Dilbert was whining again, little arms reaching back towards the playground as he twisted in his seat, and her antennae shift back, a growl rising in her throat. If he was so smart, why couldn’t he see the water on the playground and recognize that it would be unwise to let him run about on such a slippery surface? “Be quiet,” she eventually snapped. He responded with actual tears, and her guts twisted slightly. Just great. Some children flew by on skateboards, bicycles, and scooters, nearly splashing her and the Dilbert in the process. She hissed before she could stop herself and yanked her body and the stroller back to avoid them, and just in time; one of the girls clipped the stroller with her scooter and almost fell off, having to hop off before the primitive devise could throw her from it, run awkwardly beside it, and then leap back on. Thankfully the water missed Miyuki, as the girl was going too slowly by the time she went through the puddle to spray it very far.
“Watch where you’re going, smee- CHILD!” Human vocabulary was strange and still refused to roll off the tongue with any ease. “Next time I swear I will take that toy from you and wrap it around your skinny little throat!” It’s was late; they were too far for their inferior human ears to hear her. Damn them to the deepest depths of the farthest black hole. Snarling, the Irken carefully righted the stroller, which she had pulled back in such a way that, had it not been for the straps, would have dumped its precious cargo onto the concrete. Dilbert was whimpering, little hiccups leaking out with big, fat tears. Blast it all. “Shhh, it’s alright.” Well, her tone wasn’t sharp, at least. “They are gone now, and should they return I will make them very sorry they did.” She watched as he scrubbed his knuckles into his eyes, chewing on her tongue. Perhaps if she had some candy, that might work, but she didn’t think to grab any before leaving the house. Which was a stupid move, she reflected, since the human smeet was the most accident prone person she’s known since him and candy was usually a quick fix anytime Dilbert gets a bump or scrape. Her antenna flicked. He was quiet. Why? Quickly she glanced down; he was staring at something. Blue eyes rose, and found his were locked onto a tiny black trench coat a mannequin in the shop window was dressed in. His little mouth was hanging open like he just discovered the answer to the meaning of life. “… Well then.  We’ve lingered here long enough.” Her hands returned to the stroller’s handles, and he cried out.  
“Want!” Of course he’d add another word to his vocabulary right now. It’s not like she was eager to leave or anything. Miyuki raised a hand to her face to place her fingers against her forehead, then moved them to her temple. Well, he’d seen it and he’d pitch a fit if she tried to leave without it. It’s small, right? It can’t cost too much, and I do have monies on me. It wouldn’t take long, either… “Fine. Let’s go see it.” She wheeled the carriage inside. Dilbert insisted on having that exact trench coat, and it was a hassle to convince the store clerk to take the coat off the mannequin, but Miyuki was nothing if not persuasive, and eventually she conceded and took it down for them. Then it was off to the tiny dressing room in the back, where Dilbert refused to allow her to accompany him into the room to help him into the coat. 
The toddler sure was a willful one, and Miyuki can’t help but wonder if this was a normal thing in human smeets, and if she should be proud or annoyed. She settled for a mix of both, the former somewhat begrudgingly. “Tah-dah!” She glanced up from her seat to see the tiny human-Irken hybrid in front of her more or less drowning in a coat made for someone twice his height. His eyes were closed and his smile was huge, showing off all his strange human teeth, and he had his hands on his hips, sleeves falling far past them. The sight was so weird and so amusing she couldn’t help but smile a bit. “You look stunning.” He beamed brighter. “Come, we should be leaving.” She went to remove the coat and he frowned, pulling back and hugging himself to keep the coat locked in place, making grumbling noises. She shook her head and took hold of his arm in a loose grip, carefully pulling him along with her until he moved his hand to hold hers, as she looked for the clerk. The woman allowed them to buy the trench coat—two hundred monies is ridiculous for such a tiny piece of clothing and Miyuki wished she could just steal the thing, but that would be a terrible idea—and they returned home, finally. Dilbert refused to take the coat off, and she allowed him to leave it on while she got supper together for the three of them.  
A Tallest, cooking. Really, now the universe had seen everything. Or would, if this hick planet was near anything resembling the civilized universe.
Membrane returned home, and laughed at the sight of his son, ruffling the little one’s hair. “That’s a great look for you, son!  What gave you the idea?” Neither of them expected an answer, but he surprised them. The tiny boy flashed Miyuki a giant smile and pointed to her. “Just like Mommy!” She almost dropped the plate she was carrying to the table. “… Son?” Membrane does not look nearly as shellshocked as his Irken companion; he’s merely confused. “… The coat.” Miykui’s eyes widen slightly. “Oh, he means the coat you bought for me in case of cooler weather; I’ve been wearing it a lot for the past few weeks but not the past few days… he must have remembered me wearing it frequently…” Dilbert nods. He looked so pleased with himself. “Like Mommy!” “Yes, it’s good to be like your mother.” Membrane patted his head before carefully peeling the coat off and setting the fussing boy in his high chair. “Now now, take it easy,” he cut in above Dilbert’s protests. “You can have it back when you’re all done with dinner.” They started supper. Miyuki for a few minutes stared silently at the meal. Just like Mommy. The way his face lit up when he said that… Maybe she was more ready for that other word in his vocabulary than she thought she was. Mommy. It wasn’t not such a bad word, really. The twitch of her lips went unnoticed as she began to eat.
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rancoeur-the-unfortunate · 4 years ago
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Pills (Chapter 27)
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(This kinda goes without saying but both Raz and Wer, as well as the Murthen race, were created by me (technically so are the Doctor and Agent Callus but they were made specifically for this story so I don't count them as OCs). I was getting kinda tired of just using the Vort people so I used a race I created a long time ago when I was like 10. I promise this story won't shift focus to them. Also here are a few pictures of Raz in case my descriptive terms weren't good enough. Wer is pretty much the same only pink and has dragonfly wings.)
Agent Callus knew his mom would kill him if she found out about this. But right now he didn't see any reason to care. This was for the betterment of mankind, so what if he snuck out at an ungodly hour, during a thunderstorm, on a skool night, to meet a stranger he met online. He needed to get this data to the Swollen Eyeball and he knew he could trust Agent Grub Grub.
The teenager sat near his window sill and watched the rain droplets flow down the glass, waiting for him mom to fall asleep so he could sneak out. He already had the evidence he was going to give the SEN packed up and a meeting spot with Agent Grub Grub already arranged. He was excited, to say the least. He was finally going to expose Zim for the alien he was and manage to complete the one task Dib couldn't.
Ok so maybe Agent Callus was going a bit too far with this whole rivalry thing. If he was being honest with himself, he never technically met Dib. Everything he knew about the teen was either from rumors from his fellow classmates or stories told by other members of the SEN. Others to him all the time the Dib was crazy or unhinged in some way. That he was only seeking attention from others that he couldn't get from his dad. But to Callus he was something of a role model, someone he could look up to. Nobody except Callus had noticed, Dib was trying to save the world.
But now, Callus wasn't so sure. Dib spent a whole week hiding with Zim; talking, laying in the grass, catching fireflies of all things. Was Dib working with Zim now?
Agent Callus shook his head and tried to not think about it. Dib couldn't prove to the world that Zim was an alien, so he was going to succeed where Dib had failed. Despite the fact of how god damn nervous he was.
The agent looked down at his watched and noted the time, his mom had to be asleep by now. Caleb took a deep breath and began to open his window while being as quiet as a church mouse. Once open he threw his bag out into the grass and then began to climb out himself. He opened his umbrella and grabbed his bag after he shut his window. Now that he was out Callus looked to the street and began to head down the road towards his meeting spot.
Dib was watching the rain from his kitchen window, it was Gaz's turn with the TV and he didn't feel like sleeping at the moment. Too many things to think about at the moment.
His train of thought quickly derailed though he Gaz's voice nearly knocked him out of his seat.
"You know you never got me that video."
"What video?" Dib gave his sister a curious look from the kitchen.
His sister was hanging on the back of the couch upside-down, her legs resting on the front of the couch. She was playing on her new console whilst facing him.
"And you're not even using the TV!"
"It's my background noise and I'm talking about the video you promised both me AND the ship. You know the one of Zim spasming out or something on withdrawal or whatever."
"Oh... yeah." Dib scratched the back of his head, a little uncomfortable. To be honest, he was so freaked out and drenched with worry at the time that he didn't even think to record Zim. Not that he could if he did. Zim may have been his worst enemy but the idea of recording him during his most vunerable and terrifying moment. During which Dib was actually worried that Zim would die.
"I ah, didn't get it." Dib looked away.
"Whatever, but you know there's only one thing that'll make up for this." Gaz offered.
"You're kidding! It's pouring out there!" Dib exclaimed, exasperated.
"Yeah, so you better get a move on before the streets flood."
Dib let out a long tired sigh.
"Can't it wait till tomorrow?"
Gaz looked up from her game at him with a look that Dib knew promised death.
Dib sighed again and got up. "Alright! Fine, I'll go."
Gaz nodded and looked back to her game. "Dad left us some spending money on the counter."
Dib rolled his eyes and grabbed said money and slid on a raincoat and boots. "I don't understand why Bloaty's doesn't deliver anymore." He whined as he grabbed an umbrella.
"Pretty sure Zim's robot thing had something to do with it."
"I'd believe that." Dib chuckled to himself in a small moment of mirth before opening the door and looking back to Gaz.
"How am I going to pay back the ship though?"
Gaz only shrugged, not really caring.
Dib rolled his eyes and shut the door behind him.
When the two Irkens found themselves out of the cave, Skoodge couldn't stop looking at the egg in his hands. He could clearly see through the blue translucent shell and to the little Murthlet inside. She was curled up in the fetal position her eyes shut tight. It was kind of like a smeet in an incubation chamber.
Skoodge couldn't help but feel sad at that thought. Irkens were already pretty developed mentally as smeets. But Skoodge had a feeling the same couldn't be said for Murthlets. This was a defenseless creature and he was snatching it for his own personal gain.
Skoodge ran his hand across the side of the shell. It was hard yet squishy, like a thick gelatin. It was moist to the touch as well but was becoming increasingly less so.
"I swear if we are the cause of this child's death-!" Skoodge glared to the Doctor.
"Don't even finish that threat Skoodge. Because I guarantee if that Murthlet dies we wouldn't even make it out of this planet's moon orbit." The Doctor spoke so casually about this whole situation that it was starting to really unnerve Skoodge.
"Are we leaving or not?" Skoodge jumped at the sudden voice and turned around to see Raz now wearing what appeared to be a suit. It was skin tight and covered only her chest, and legs. Her arms and neck had small skintight covers over the area where her gills were. Her body was also covered in bright blue tubes that connected all of the pieces of the suit together. On her back was a water tank filled to the top and on her legs were braces, most likely to help her walk on land. On her first set of shoulders and knees were arm and kneecaps.
       She turned her glare to Skoodge and threw something to him. He caught it and looked it over, it looked like a knapsack of some kind. It also had those blue wires sewing into it.
"Put her in that." She gestured her head to the egg before turning to the doctor.
Skoodge quickly did as the Murthen said and pulled the straps over his shoulders so the egg was resting on his chest.
"That bag will keep her moist for at most 3 Murth rotations." Raz practically spat those words.
"Then I suggest we get a move on then, yuhi." The Doctor returned, his cocky yet calculating stare never left the Murthen as he gestured towards their ship.
Skoodge could sense the tension from a mile away and instinctively placed a hand over the egg in worry. If a fight were to break out between the two, Skoodge wouldn't have the ability to help nor hide. He just hoped they would get those weapons soon enough so he could return this child back to her mothers and save Zim.
He also wanted to get to that ship sooner rather than later so he could take his hazard suit off.
Once they reached the ship the Doctor sat Raz in a chair and strapped her to it; her first set of arms chained above her while her second set was strapped to the arms of the chair. Leaving Skoodge to have to sit beside her because that was the only seat left, while the Doctor moved to the cockpit and began to start up the ship.
"Try anything yuhi and the egg will be tossed into space." He threatened once more before they took off.
Raz never stopped glaring at the back of his chair with the malice only a threatened mother could have.
Skoodge fiddled with hands for a second trying to avoid looking at her, feeling incredibly guilty.
Bleech at the time was on the other side of the planet and Murth was huge so the trip could take awhile.
"So uh the Doctor keeps calling you yuhi, what does that mean? Ifyoudon'tmindmeaskingofcourse!" Skoodge blurted out but instantly shrank in his seat when Raz cast her glare down him. He didn't know what it was but something about those dark, glassy eyes unnerved him terribly.
"It's a Murthen slur." She moved to adjust her sitting position. "It means mud dweller or crippled fish."
"You're crippled?" Skoodge asked.
"No, the insult isn't that literal. It just means I'm a lower class. He's referring to me being a foot soldier in the Murthen army." She spoke with bitterness but then paused.
"Hey, while we're tapping into each other's personal business. What's a stompy guy like you doing with a tall scumbag like him. I thought Irkens were segregated according to height or something."
"Yeah, we're uh trying to stop that..." Skoodge scratched at the back of his head nervously.
"By kidnapping eggs?" Raz almost looked curious before turning away.
"No no of course not!" Skoodge shook his hands wildly. "I had no idea the Doctor was going to do any of this!"
Raz cast one more glance at him, a judgemental one. "Really? What did you expect him to do?"
"I-" Skoodge cut himself off as he thought about that. In reality, he had no answers and he knew that Raz knew he knew that.
The Murthen looked away once more and Skoodge sat there in shame and silence.
It took Skoodge nearly 30 minutes to work up the courage to look up at her once more.
"So um... have you thought of any names?" Skoodge tried to make polite conversation. Maybe if he got on her good side he might survive if she chose to betray them.
"My son's name is Lur, the one you are holding is Mur." Raz explained, but this time didn't face him.
"Oh? How old are they?"
This time Raz looked at him but for the first time with fondness and not anger.
"Mur is 3 months and 2 days old and Lur is 3 months 2 and a half days. I had complications laying that one." She almost smiled as she looked to her egg. Her hand closest to him reached for the little Murthlet.
Skoodge's cardiac spooch twisted at the sight. Raz was clearly distraught about her Murthlet being torn from her and was trying to hide her fear. Gently he removed the straps from the sack and moved the egg to her hand.
Raz, in turn, rubbed the shell with her webbed hands and smiled contentedly.
Skoodge looked down in thought for a second then looked back to Raz.
"Raz I swear no matter what happens, I'll make sure you make it back to your nest safely with Mur." He promised.
Raz looked at him almost gratefully. "For both yours and my sake I hope you're right." Raz sighed and sat back in her seat pulling her hand away from the egg. Skoodge nodded and zipped the knapsack and slip the straps back on.
The rain had only gotten worse as the storm progressed through the night. Agent Callus tried to not let it bother him but his small one person umbrella was hardly cutting it. He sighed as he stopped at the bus stop to head to Bloaty's. The meeting location was hardly ideal but Callus WAS meeting someone he met online and having a few people nearby couldn't hurt.
He was about to pull out his phone and play some games when he was interrupted by a familiar face.
"Hey, Caleb." Dib greeted as he stood beside him at the stop.
'How the hell does he know my name?' Callus thought to himself.
"Oh um hi Dib." The younger of the two stumbled.
"Where are you going so late?" Dib smiled gently, making small talk.
"Oh um, Bloaty's. I'm kinda meeting someone." Callus tried to keep his cool but in his head, he was freaking out. This was the first time, Dib and he actually had a real conversation.
"Heh, so am I. Heading to Bloaty's that is. Gaz is forcing me to get her pizza." Dib chuckled to himself.
"But doesn't Bloaty's deliver?"
"Not anymore." Dib chuckled a for a second and looked away.
The two sat in silence for a few minutes before the bus they had been waiting for, drove near, and stopped for them.
Dib stepped on first and dropped his bus fare in the payment box. Callus had to stop and almost smacked himself for his stupidity. He had completely forgotten about the bus fare. He looked away in embarrassment and was about to walk the rest of the way when he was stopped by Dib.
"Hey, where you going?"
"Oh um, I forgot my bus fare." Caleb spoke nervously.
"Don't worry about it I'll pay for you." Dib smiled.
Agent Callus couldn't help but smile back as he got on.
"Thanks, man. I owe ya one."
"Don't worry about it. It's not a problem." Dib shook it off as the two sat down. Aside from a few other teens and an old lady in the back, they were the only two on the bus.
The two sat in silence but on the inside, Callus was having a mental breakdown. He was going to talking to agent GubGrub to talk ABOUT Dib! Now how was he going to do that?!
'Alright, calm down. All he did was pay for your bus fare. You are trying to take care of a potential threat!'
Yeah, a threat, definitely.
Callus sighed and looked out the window to the rainy street. Dib wasn't a bad or insane person. He was just trying to save humanity from an evil space alien. But now Callus wasn't so sure. Maybe Zim had been brainwashing Dib? All the more reason to report Dib to the Swollen Eye.
"Hey, Caleb you alright?"
Dib's voice cut him from his thoughts.
"Wa-huh?"
"We're here, dude." Dib was standing and gesturing to the restaurant with his head.
"Oh, sorry. Thanks." Callus shot upwards and the two walked off the bus.
The two opened their umbrellas, and of course Callus' was complete crap. Dib smiled and moved his much bigger umbrella over and cover the two of them. Callus smiled back nervously and nodded as the two began to walk to Bloaty's.
'Dib is oddly sociable today and nice?'
Callus looked away for a bit debating on that question before looking back to Dib.
"Hey, Dib. If uh you don't mind my asking. You seem I don't know more... friendly today. Is there some good news?" Callus tried his best to word the question without seeming like an asshole, but he had a feeling that he failed.
Dib gave him an odd look before shrugging and nodding. "Eh, that's fair." Dib closed his umbrella as they entered the restaurant.
"I guess. Life's been good to me lately."
He continued forward to the counter to order his food, leaving Callus by the door. Callus glanced around and spotted agent GubGrub in a corner booth, obviously waiting for him. Caleb looked back to Dib for a moment before sighing and heading towards that corner. He slid a piece of paper towards the older man, saying he was agent Callus of the SEN.
GubGrub read it over before handing Callus a paper saying he was agent GubGrub of the SEN. They both then ate their respective papers. To both hide evidence and prove they both know the code of this meeting.
Callus then sat down in the seat across from the older man and nodded.
"So you ready to make your case on Dib's valuation."
Callus bit his tongue for a moment and nodded.
"Then let's begin."
(2876 words :D)
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shadowofthelamp · 4 years ago
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I realized there were a couple old capture au writings that I could put on tumblr but hadn’t yet. This one is a bit divergent- Dib actually got pulled in a bit earlier than this, I decided later.
Rating: T, probably? Some brief mentions of gore, and it’s meant to be unsettling.
Wordcount: 1250
This was... more difficult than he expected.
They lived in Dib's old base, cleaned up and irkenized, of course.  It had been mostly a joke, moving in, until Zim realized it might be a good change of scenery after half a decade in the same building. Twix had cried a lot, after birth. She oozed drool and feces. Even relegating diaper-changing to a robot he'd designed for taking care of the process hadn't saved Zim from having to smell it. Somehow, she had a keen sense of identifying when he was about to rest and began to scream the most then. Even with her one broken antenna, she knew.  
He'd cared for her, of course. He'd asked for this. He couldn't give up when she was only a few days old, that was tantamount to admitting failure. Her Pak helped, at least-- she began speaking within the month, although even that long had been admittedly nerve-wracking.  Unfortunately, she'd only seemed capable of a few words at a time- it took nearly six months for her to reach full sentences, and she seemed as frustrated by her body's inability to walk until she was one as he was.
And the health problems! She couldn't see (Zim made her goggles), she couldn't eat this or that (he had to induce vomiting or pump her stomach more times than he could count) and she just seemed to stop working at points (he stuck her in the healing pod and had to start pumping music in so she'd stop pounding on the glass from sheer boredom). 
But she was clever. She was very clever, and she hung on to every word out of Zim's mouth as if it was spun gold. Twix grew and grew, and Earth years passed quickly when he had something to fill the time. He found her outfits had to be constantly remade to keep up with her frame as she went from a wriggling lump to a tiny little person, and she had endless questions. (She wanted to know things he didn't have answers for.)
What does this do? What does that do? This is a missile launcher. It's for getting rid of any rebellions. That is a shock collar. They're good for keeping wayward humans in their places. 
What're humans? They're the ones that walk around on two legs that kind of look like us, but worse.  They're decent workers, but they smell worse too. (Her nose wrinkled at that.)
Why are you in charge? Because I conquered this spinning ball of filth.
Why? Because it was my job. 
Why does my spooch hurt? Go stand in the healing pod to check.
Why is the sky orange? The factories.
Where did you come from? Irk. It's the blue one on this map, see?
Where did I come from? My spooch. I have the videos. Many, many videos.
How come I've got hair and a nose and stuff like a human? Because you're half-human.
Why? Because I wanted someone who could help me rule, and who better than someone who's part of the conquered species?
Oh. Where'd the human come from? The Dib. He was my enemy. He lives in a cell now.
Why? So I can keep an eye on him.
He musta been really strong to stand up to you and for you to wanna make me out of him. He was. 
Can I see him? I don't see why not.
Zim had shown her through the screen. Dib was, as always, pacing his cell and throwing occasional glares and expletives at the camera. After all these years, it was a wonder that he even had that much energy. It fascinated Zim- and Twix as well, her little fingers pressing against the screen even as Dib flipped up his middle finger. Twix tried to copy it.
Absently, Zim traced a hand over Twix's hair before pulling back. "It's time for sparring."
"Yes, sir." She took a glance back before following him.
She was growing and learning and changing, and yet... something was wrong. Zim wasn't satisfied. She pushed herself over and over, training for hours, learning about the history of irk and skills to conquer worlds and some things he learned from the labs that he thought might be useful. She was excellent at dissecting whatever he put in front of her and she learned to take headshots at a hundred paces, and still, emptiness gnawed.
He pushed her harder. She fell, sometimes, but other times she rose past his expectations. He checked Dib's cell.  Fifteen paces one way, fifteen the other. He checked it again. Fifteen paces one way, fifteen the other. She lost a tooth and it took him nearly an hour to figure out that was normal. She shakily skinned a cat with chubby hands and presented him with the pelt. It was sloppy, but he had it made into a scarf. She tried to do the same with one of the human experiments, but human skin wasn't good for much and he stopped her. She was crying at odd hours of the night. He didn't remember crying as a smeet. (Except for under the tentpoles where Telgri's blood had soaked his boots and behind the cages when he'd set off the fireworks and inside the cubbies when Skoodge had offered him a snack after he'd almost had his arm blown off) Irkens didn't do that.
That must be a human thing.
He watched Dib's cell. A caged animal, after all these years. 
The house seemed smaller than it used to.
Zim wrapped the child leash around his wrist as he gave a speech while standing on top of his throne. He immediately vaporized the person who coughed in the back row. She clapped, but there was something in her eyes that he didn't like when she lifted her goggles to rub them. It was dull and muddy. A whirlpool of ink.
He watched Dib's cell and slowly curled up on himself on the chair, arms around his middle as the human hissed up at the camera. At him. 
He watched human television, now and then. (For hours and days.) Things were dramatic and messy but having other humans seemed to make life more bearable. Partners.
Twix asked if she could ever see him. She was eight, and had had a decade and a half of training channeled through her Pak even as her body toddled around with still-underdeveloped limbs. There had been incidents. Incidents that could have been avoidable if he'd had a human expert, one that knew more than him. She was human enough that....
That he couldn't risk his human knowledge being insufficient. He'd put too much into her.
He told the guards to put Dib in the old Membracelet and prepare him for a visit. All he told him when he arrived was that he was going to live with them, and with a snap of his fingers, the smiling muzzle muffled his protests. A matching smile spread across Zim's face. This was better. Dib was too important to just rot in a cell for a day later, he was proof Zim had done well, had truly conquered everything worth anything on this hunk of rock.
Everything would be perfect now. He had Twix, and now he would have Dib, trussed up like a pretty little trinket to see all that Zim's handiwork and his genes had created. He would hate it, of course, but he could fall in line eventually and then there would be no more lose ends and there would be nothing wrong, no holes to fill, no spots to mend, no emptiness to correct.
A dollhouse where Zim could keep everything in order. 
Forever.
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sweetiepie08 · 5 years ago
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Rebel Z Chapter 3
Invader Zim fanfic
While analyzing Zim’s PAK for weaknesses, Tak discovers strange coding that sends her on a search for answers. The clues lead her to uncover a conspiracy that governs all of Irken society. When the truth sends her on the run, she has no choice but to return to the one place the Tallest would never willingly go: Urth.
Meanwhile, Dib has noticed odd changes in Zim’s behavior. Has the invader simply grown bored of his mission over the last few years, or is there something more interesting going on?
People who asked to be tagged: @incorrect-invader-zim , @messinwitheddie, @reblogstupids, @cate-r-gunn, @agentpinerulesall​
If anyone else would like to be added to the tag list feel free to message me. Also, if you’re on the tag list and you changed your name, please just let me know. 
Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5.  Chapter 6.  Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10. 
[-]
Tak activated her Vortian disguise before she even entered the solar system. When dealing with the Meekrob, an Irken could never be too careful, especially after Tenn’s disappearance. Word around the stars was that her life signal suddenly went out one day. No one knew what happened. Apparently, the Tallest hadn’t received ant worrying reports. Her last transmission was a routine observation update. She wasn’t making any risky plans and she didn’t have a near-discovery. She was there one minute and gone the next. Soon afterward, the Meekrob put out a warning declaring that any Irken caught within their planet’s range would be killed on sight. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who was responsible for her disappearance.
It was a shame, really. Tak was a few levels ahead of Tenn in training, but she heard good things. Any invader assigned to Meekrob must be talented. They were, after all, Irk’s most formidable enemies. Safe to assume they had done her in. It was a tragedy that someone so young and bright had been cut down in her prime, but life as an invader was fraught with peril, at least so long as the enemy was intelligent.
Finally, they approached the planet Refirencee and, after going through a check point, she docked her ship in a public hanger. Before exiting her ship, she looked at MiMi. An information retrieval unit would be especially advantageous on this mission, but the engineering was too obviously Irken. “MiMi, cat disguise.” MiMi saluted and her holo-cloaking devise activated. Tak looked her over an nodded her approval. They were lucky an Urth cat looked so similar to a Vortian jelicle.
Satisfied with their cover, they hopped out of their ship and headed for the transport bay. There, they found a digital sign displayed the departure times for bullet trains which took the planet’s patrons to different sections of the massive data base. The trains were broken down by planet and the one for the Irken information section left in only a few minutes.
As they waited for their train, Tak noticed a few patrons looking at her. She tried to keep her eyes on the track before her and ignored their stares as she felt a light pounding in her chest.
One of the patrons approached her. “Um, excuse me,” he said, eyes turning to MiMi.
Tak shot him a glare. “What?”
“I’m not sure they allow pets.”
“She’s an emotional support jelicle,” Tak said. A spark flashed across her eyes and the patron’s face went blank for a second.
“Right,” he answered, almost robotically. “Sorry I bothered you.”
The train arrived and Tak and MiMi boarded. They took a seat and the train took off at break-neck speed. They arrived at the Irken section in a matter of minutes. She stepped off the train to find her self in a large, domed building, surrounded by towers of data cartridges. Sorting droids buzzed about, arranging cartridges to their rightful places. In the center of it all, a librarian sat at a large, circular information desk.
“Excuse me,” Tak said, approaching the desk. “Where can I find information on the cyber age?” It would be a good start. The invention of the PAK kicked off the era.
“That will be section 8792,” the librarian answered. “I’ll call you a browsing cart.”
The librarian pushed a button and a cart zipped up to the desk. It was just a flat, hovering rectangle with a handrail and a control board at the front. Tak and MiMi hopped on and she entered the section number into the control panel.
“By the way,” Tak said, turning to the librarian, “forget I was here.” The spark flashed across her eyes again and the Librarian’s face went blank. Tak hit the start button and her cart zipped off. She arrived at her destination within seconds.
“MiMi, find a data console about PAK invention,” Tak ordered as they stepped off the cart. MiMi saluted and slinked through the aisles. While she waited, Tak sat down at a computer desk. In a few minutes, MiMi returned with a data console marked “Irken Cyber Age Vol. 1”. Tak took and plug it into the computer. She scrolled through the text, skimming over most of it. The information mainly consisted of things any smeet would know. After the control brains were built, they gave the scientists the idea to build the PAKs. These PAKs efficiently distributed Irken knowledge and ushered in a glorious new age of blah, blah, blah…
Yes, every Irken alive knew their basic history. But what about the PAKs themselves? How were they built? How did they work? Tak was beginning to wonder if this was a waste of time. After all, the key to PAK mechanics was Irk’s most guarded secret. She shouldn’t expect to find that information here. In fact, she should be glad that knowledge hadn’t fallen into enemy hands.
She continued to scroll and a picture caught her eye. It showed the five engineers in charge of the PAK project. The face of one particular engineer kept glitching in and out. He was decently tall. Not tall enough to be considered for the upper echelons of tallness, but a good height none the less. His round, purple eyes caught hers and she studied his uneasy grin. The names of each engineer were listed in the caption and one name, Krislotch, glitched in time with the face. It couldn’t be a coincidence. Someone wanted her to pay attention to this guy.
Was it even Krislotch himself? Very well, you have my attention. Now what do you want. She scrolled down a bit further and noticed individual letters glitching as well. A message perhaps? Hidden in the page? What are you trying to tell me, Krislotch?
“MiMi, my tablet.”
MiMi reached into her head and took out a small, metal canister. Tak unfolded it into tablet mode and took out a stylus. She wrote down each letter in order.
A COMPLETE HISTORY OF IRKEN INDUSTRY VOL 13. CHAP 78.
Now this was interesting. It seemed Krislotch left her a little crumb trail. Where it led, she could only guess, but she simply had to follow. She ordered MiMi to find the volume mentioned. When the SIR unit returned, she plugged it into the computer and jumped straight to the designated chapter. Reading through it, she found it was about a factory disaster which resulted in a great number of deaths. Apparently, some worker named Mia, somehow, caused a back up of materials at her station. The machine couldn’t put out new materials, overheated, and caught fire. For some reason, the sprinkler system was disabled, and the fire only spread. Fifty-seven workers, including Mia, died in the accident.
As Tak read the page, she spotted two full sentences glitching. The first gave the number of those dead and the other showed the date. She wasn’t sure why the number of dead was important, but even a smeet a few minutes old knew the significance of the date. This disaster took place exactly 0.1 cycles before Installation Day, the day all Irkens were given their PAKs.
More letters glitched. Put together, they led to a console called “The Irken Cyber Age: a Complete History vol. 1.” They also directed her to a page which, once she read it, confirmed her suspicions. Krislotch did, in fact, want her to know the disaster occurred 0.1 cycles before Installation day. But apart from that, what was the connection?
Yet again, more letter glitched. She’d picked up the trail. Glitching letters led her to a console of Irken History, itself with more glitching letters leading her to the next clue. As she read on, a clear pattern began to emerge. Since the introduction of the PAKs, every major historical event was preceded by a deadly disaster by exactly 0.1 cycles. The historical events mainly revolved around Irken galactic conquest: military campaigns, invasion launches, and the like. The disasters varied widely, but they all had a few things in common. They were all caused by an Irken who then died in the disaster, and they all left fifty-seven dead. Even the names of the Irkens who caused them were similar: Mia, Mib, Mic, Mid, Mie…
The trail stopped before reaching more recent events. The final set of glitching letters gave her the title “An Observatory Study of the Final Days of Ecore,” as well as the coordinates to the console’s location, which rested in a completely different part of Refirencee. She’d waste no time getting there, but something nagged at her.
There must be some current events which fell into the pattern, she thought. Things I would remember. Operation Impending Doom was the obvious answer. It was the most recent invasion launch, but she couldn’t think of any major disasters that preceded it. Then again, the launch date had to be delayed due to… Wait… Was that it? How many died that day? And how long after did Impending Doom II launch? She had to check to be sure.
“MiMi, find information on the original Operation Impending Doom.”
MiMi swept off and quickly returned with a new data console. A quick look confirmed her suspicions. Fifty-seven dead in a rampage caused by disgraced Invader Zim. Impending Doom II launched exactly 0.1 cycles later. It was a close fit, but it wasn’t’ perfect. Zim was alive, for one thing, while the other disaster causers died. Another was the name. It didn’t fit the pattern, unless…
Tak slapped her palm to her forehead. Was the idiot such a complete incompetent that he got his own assigned name wrong?
Surely more answers would be found in the next console.
She and MiMi rode the cart to the closest train station and took the next train to a section called Dead Planets. Once there, they took another cart to the location designated by the glitching letters. As they approached, they found they weren’t looking for a data console at all. The coordinates Tak punched into the cart took them to a section deep in the library. The shelves surrounding them held actual, physical books. Judging by the layers of dust, they were the first lifeforms to enter these aisles in a long time.
They made it to the correct shelf and Tak ordered MiMi to locate the book. The robot found it in matter of seconds and brought it to her. Tak brushed off the cover and opened the book. A small, plastic square fell out and landed on the floor with a clack. She picked it up and turned it over in her hands. It was a data storage device not used in ages. This was old technology, ancient even, but whatever was on it must be important. She pocketed it and sat down on the floor to read. As the book wasn’t in Irken, she couldn’t read it without assistance. She tapped the implant on the side of her head and a universal translator monocle popped out, covering her eye. She began to read.
A Note to the Reader
When I began this journey, I had no intention of chronicling the final days of Ecore. It began as an anthropological study to discern what made this once-thriving civilization drop out of contact with the greater solar system. I set up a hidden shelter on the outskirts of Ecorien society and observed from the outside. My discoveries explain, not only the degradation of Ecorien culture, but the death of the planet itself.
Tak poured through the book, wondering what this weak, primitive culture possibly had to do with Irk. The anthropologist wrote about the Ecorien’s devotion to, what he called, “the Many-Eyed God.” Apparently, this new theology was a sharp deviation from known Ecorien culture. In the past, the Ecoriens revered their planet’s natural resources and energy. This new god was completely unheard of.
He also went on to describe the people’s changed appearance. They looked thin and sickly, and aged rapidly. They’d go to their god for supposed cures, but they didn’t seem to do any good. The people never got better from what plagued them, no matter how devotedly they followed their god.
The most fascinating part was a barbaric ritual referred to as a “blood toll.” When the Ecoriens asked their god for a large favor, such as a bountiful harvest or a cure for a plague, the god would order a blood toll. They brought fifty-seven young, healthy Ecoriens before their god and slaughtered them.
Fifty-seven… Fifty-seven Irkens… Fifty-seven Ecoriens… Was this what Krislotch wanted me to see? She read on.
Soon, she reached the final days of Ecore. An uprising broke out among the younger generations of Ecoriens. The blood toll sacrificed many of them and the elders asked the Many-Eyed God for more and more favors as the species grew weaker. The youths fought back against the elders, refusing to be sacrificed. However, the history of blood tolls had greatly reduced their numbers. Relatively few were young enough to be prime candidates for sacrifice, but old enough to fight. The elders overpowered them. The Many-Eyed God ordered the mass slaughter of the younger generations, promising to restore youth and health to the elders.
Youths died by the thousands, from young adults, to children, to infants. At the end of the bloodbath, the Many-Eyed God detached itself from the planet’s core. It drifted into space, leaving the Ecoriens with nothing but the blood on their hands. With the younger generations wiped out, they were doomed to extinction.
Tak turned the page in horrified awe. The last days of this planet were truly a massacre. The Ecoriens, tricked by this god, turned on their own. Their own god used them, sucked them dry, and abandoned them when they had nothing left to give. This wasn’t just the death of a planet. This was the murder of one.
What this massacre had to do with Irk and PAKs, she still couldn’t say, but the number fifty-seven stuck out in her mind. Fifty-seven died in the Irken disasters. Fifty-seven slaughtered in the Ecorien blood tolls. The connection was obvious, but what it meant escaped her. The Irkens had no gods, not for a few millennia at least. They thrived on science, technology, and conquest. It was said, even before the cyber age, that the Irkens bowed to no laws, but made their own. Nothing calling itself a god could gain this kind of influence on Irk.
But when she turned the page, her vail of denial evaporated. She dropped the book in shock. MiMi swept up to her and peered over Tak’s shoulder. The book lay open on the floor, displaying a two-page spread of images of the Many-Eyed God. Some were sketches. Some were photos taken at a distance. All displayed the same familiar entity. She’d looked into these eyes. This “god” encoded her as an elite trainee. She begged this “god” for the opportunity to prove her worth. This “god” denied her and banished her to Dirt, a husk of wasted potential.
The Control Brain and the Many-Eyed God were one and the same.
She stared down at the book as the truth stared back at her. This thing, whatever it was, had wormed its way into Irken society. It controlled them, fed off them. They even had their own blood toll of sorts. In the end, the Ecoriens withered away to nothing. They were sucked dry and left to rot. It was only a matter of time before the same happened to Irk. This thing, the Control Brain, has to be stopped.
The number 10:00 appeared in the corner of her vision and began ticking down. 9:59… 9:58… “My life clock!” How? Why? Her PAK was still attached. It shouldn’t… Wait, the Control Brain. Her PAK emitted a constant stream of information to the Control Brain and she just had a rebellious thought. There was no time to waste.
“MiMi,” she commanded. Almost as an afterthought, she realized her holo-disguise had gone out. “Take me to the ship. Top speed.”
MiMi stretched out her arms, wrapping them around Tak, and propulsion jets burst from her feet. She flew them out of the library, across the planet, and to the parking bay at such a speed, the world became a nauseating blur. By the time they arrived back at the ship, she had less than 8:00 minutes to save herself.
She plugged her PAK into the ship. “Computer, life-supports error check, immediately.”
After a few seconds of scanning, her computer answered. “Life support systems completely shut down.”
Her insides dropped. “Search for the cause.”
A few more seconds of scanning passed. “Systems shut down after a command initiated by the Control Brain remote feedback program.”
It was as she suspected. “Suggested solutions?”
“Remove feedback chip and manually restart system.”
She felt her guts twist and her body broke into a sweat. Remove feedback chip? Every Irken alive knew it was treason to disconnect from the Control Brain. She’d be an outlaw, a traitor. Returning to Irken-controlled space would be a death sentence for her. But I’m going to die right now if I don’t.
She had no choice. If even thinking about saving her planet from this… this… parasite made her a traitor, then traitor she was. She pulled the plug from her PAK and removed it from her back. She had only a few minutes before her organic brain turned to mush.
She opened a compartment of tools and then opened a panel on her PAK. With a set of tweezers, she located the feedback chip and, with a tug, marked herself traitor. Using a shocking fork, she restarted the life support systems. She turned around, the PAK reattached, and her life clock disappeared. Already, she could feel her body reinvigorating, but the weight of what she’d just done fell heavy on her.
Right now, the Armada was receiving an automated notification that Tak, the deserter janitor, had gone traitor. Orders would be issued for her capture or killing. Every Irken in the military would know her face. She could never go back.
And she couldn’t linger here. She and MiMi made quite the scene with their exit. People would come after them. Anyone who managed to get a look as they flew past could clearly see she was Irken. They had to get far, far away from Irk and far, far away from here.
She powered up the engines and flew the ship out of the parking bay, still unsure of where to go. Anywhere in Irken-controlled space was out and word that an Irken was spotted on a Meekrobian-protected planet would soon spread. She had to go somewhere remote, a planet uncharted and ignored by most of the known universe, a place the Tallest would never willingly go.
She let out a roaring, agonized groan as her mind landed on the perfect answer. It was both the safest place in the universe to hide and the last place she wanted to be, especially in this state. Still, she had no choice.
“Computer,” she growled, pinching the bridge between her eyes. “Set coordinates to Urth.”
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