#Diana is my way of expressing how tired i feel

[lvmoure]

But Daddy, I Love Him CS55

Summary: In the youngest child of King Charles II and late Princess Diana of Wales fell for an F1 driver, and is willing to do anything just to be with him.

Warnings: slight angst and rebellion.

You want nothing but to escape from the royal protocols that your family have set.

You are a lot of things: classy, smart, beautiful, elegant, and also, away from the eye of many, you are nothing but a rebel. Growing up in a dysfunctional family where your brothers seem perfect, life is nothing but complicated. It becomes even more complicated when your older brother, Harry, decides to live away from everyone with his wife, Meghan. You feel the weight of expectation in Buckingham Palace, where every action is scrutinized and every misstep could lead to scandal. You yearn for freedom, for a life beyond the gilded cage of royalty.

It’s a rainy Thursday afternoon, and the clouds outside your window reflect the turmoil inside. The dark sky looms over the palace like an ominous reminder of your frustrations. You sit on your bed, staring at the opulent walls adorned with portraits of ancestors, wondering if any of them ever felt trapped in their roles. Your heart pounds in your chest, a constant reminder of the fight brewing inside you.

“Why can’t you just act like a proper lady?” your father’s voice booms from the hallway, pulling you from your thoughts.

You can hear him pacing outside your door, his footsteps heavy and deliberate. “You’re a princess, for heaven’s sake! This isn’t a game!”

You stand up, your anger boiling over. You open the door, your resolve hardening as you face him. “This isn’t about being a princess, Dad! It’s about being myself!” Your voice trembles slightly, betraying the intensity of your emotions.

He turns to you, his expression a mix of exasperation and disappointment. “Being yourself is exactly what got you into trouble last time. You can’t just run off to… to some racing event with that Sainz boy! It’s unbecoming.”

“Unbecoming?” you scoff, crossing your arms defiantly. “What’s unbecoming is pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m tired of this charade. I want to live my life!”

He steps closer, towering over you, his voice dropping to a low, dangerous tone. “And what kind of life do you think you can have? You’re throwing away everything—your title, your future—for a whim. For a boy!”

“Carlos is not just a boy! He’s passionate, driven, and he understands me in a way you never will!” Your heart races, but you refuse to back down.

“Passionate? Driven? Those are just words to romanticize what he is—a reckless race car driver! You think this is some fairytale?” His voice rises, echoing in the grand hallway, and the walls seem to close in on you.

“Maybe I don’t want a fairytale, Dad! Maybe I want to create my own story!” You take a step back, your breath quickening, realizing how far the argument has escalated. The tears threaten to spill, but you blink them away, determined to stay strong.

He runs a hand through his hair, frustration etched on his face. “You are a princess! You have responsibilities, expectations! You can’t just abandon them!”

“Maybe I don’t want to be a princess anymore!” you shout, the words escaping before you can stop them. Silence hangs between you like a taut wire, both of you breathing heavily, the weight of unspoken words lingering in the air.

He studies you for a moment, disappointment flashing in his eyes. “If you leave, don’t expect to come back. This family doesn’t tolerate such behavior.”

Your heart sinks, the threat echoing in your mind, but the fire of rebellion burns brighter. “Maybe I’ll take my chances.” You turn on your heel and storm down the hall, the echo of your footsteps reverberating through the palace like a drumbeat of defiance.

As you grab a small bag, you throw in a few essentials—clothes, your phone, and a picture of Carlos you keep tucked away. The thought of leaving fills you with both fear and exhilaration. You pause at the door, your heart racing as you glance back at the life you’re about to abandon.

With one last deep breath, you step out into the rain-soaked streets of London, the cold air invigorating. Each step takes you further from the constraints of your title and closer to the life you’ve always dreamed of—one filled with passion and freedom.

Days pass, and you find yourself standing on the sun-kissed shores of Mallorca. The salty breeze tousles your hair as you sit on the warm sand, staring out at the turquoise waves crashing against the shore. You left everything behind: the palace, your family, the expectations. You made the choice to find solace in the sun, but it feels like a band-aid over a deeper wound.

Carlos, with his warm brown eyes and infectious smile, had always been a light in the dark. It was his idea to meet here, a promise he made to show you the world beyond royal duties. As you watch the horizon, you remember the first time you met him at a charity event, his passion for racing sparking something inside you that you never knew existed.

Suddenly, you hear his voice, and you turn to see him approaching. “There you are! I thought I’d lost you to the sea,” he teases, his smile lighting up his face.

You smile back, feeling the weight of your past lift slightly in his presence. “Just contemplating life and my terrible decisions,” you say, trying to sound light-hearted.

“Hey, every decision leads us somewhere, right? At least we’re here now.” He gestures to the beach, and you can’t help but feel a rush of warmth at his optimism.

“Yeah, here. Away from everything,” you reply, your voice trailing off as you recall the argument with your father.

Carlos sits beside you, his presence comforting. “Is everything okay? You seem… distant.”

You sigh, looking out at the waves. “It’s just hard to let go of everything. My family… they expect so much from me.”

“You don’t owe them anything. You’re allowed to be who you want to be.” His words are gentle, yet they cut through the chaos in your mind. You turn to him, your heart racing.

“But what if who I want to be isn’t what they want? What if I’m just throwing everything away for nothing?”

“Nothing? You’re not throwing anything away. You’re chasing what makes you happy. And if that’s me, then I’ll do everything to make it worth it.” His sincerity makes your heart flutter, and you feel the connection between you deepen.

As the sun sets, casting a golden glow over the island, you realize how much you longed for this kind of connection. “What if this is just a summer fling? What if you go back to racing and forget all about me?” The fear creeps in, but you push it down, not wanting to ruin the moment.

Carlos takes your hand, his grip firm yet gentle. “Then I’ll race back to you. No matter what, I won’t forget you. You’re not just some fling to me.” His eyes hold a promise, and for the first time, you feel hopeful.

That week, you explore the island together—dancing under the stars, sharing stories, and laughing until your sides hurt. Each moment feels like a stolen treasure, a world away from the palace. But as the days pass, the looming thought of returning home creeps into your mind, a shadow over your newfound happiness.

The week has come to an end, and you find yourself at a quaint café overlooking the Mediterranean. The sun rises slowly, casting a warm light that contrasts with the storm brewing in your heart. Carlos sits across from you, sipping his coffee, a content smile gracing his lips. You want to capture this moment forever, to freeze time in this perfect bubble.

But the bubble is about to burst. Your phone buzzes, a message from your father breaking the serene atmosphere. You read it, and your stomach drops. “Come home. It’s time to face your responsibilities.”

You set the phone down, feeling the weight of the message like a boulder on your chest. “I can’t go back,” you whisper, panic rising.

Carlos looks concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s my father. He’s demanding I come back to the palace. I can’t bear to face him after everything.”

“Don’t you want to talk to him? Maybe he’s just worried.” He reaches out, but you pull away, the thought of facing your family unbearable.

“Worried? Or controlling? He’ll never understand. I feel like I’m suffocating in that place.” Tears brim in your eyes as the emotions flood over you.

“Then let’s not go back,” Carlos says fiercely. “We can stay here. We can make a life together away from all that.”

You shake your head, feeling the weight of reality. “I can’t run forever, Carlos. My father will always find me.” You realize with a sinking heart that this paradise can’t last forever.

The conversation grows heated, both of you struggling to find a solution. “You have to fight for what you want,” he pleads, desperation creeping into his voice. “Don’t give up on us.”

“It’s not that simple! My family… they have expectations. I can’t just turn my back on them.” The thought of your father’s disappointment stabs at your heart, but the idea of losing Carlos cuts deeper.

“Then you need to stand up for yourself. Tell him how you feel.”

You pause, considering his words. “What if he doesn’t care? What if he just wants to control me?”

Carlos reaches for your hand, holding it tightly. “You

won’t know until you try. You deserve to be happy, and I want to help you fight for that happiness.” His eyes are fierce with determination, and you feel a spark of hope igniting within you.

But the reality of your situation weighs heavily on your heart. “I don’t know if I can go back and face him,” you admit, tears spilling down your cheeks.

“Then we’ll face it together. I’ll be right by your side.” His warmth envelops you, and for a moment, you believe him.

But then reality crashes in. You know what you must do. “I have to go back, Carlos,” you say softly, pulling your hand away. “I can’t abandon my family, no matter how hard it is.”

The decision hangs in the air, and you can see the hurt in Carlos’s eyes. “I understand. But it doesn’t mean it’s easy.” His voice trembles slightly, the pain evident.

“I wish things were different,” you murmur, your heart breaking as you stand up, ready to leave the paradise you’ve found.

As you walk away, every step feels heavier, and you can’t shake the feeling of loss that grips you. Carlos’s figure fades into the background as you board the plane back to London, leaving behind a piece of your heart in Mallorca.

Back in Buckingham Palace, the weight of reality crashes down like a heavy fog. You wear a smile for the cameras and the public, but inside, you feel like a ghost drifting through the hallways. The opulence feels suffocating, and every laugh shared with your family feels hollow. They celebrate your return, oblivious to the turmoil raging inside you.

Each day, the longing for Carlos grows, filling the empty spaces where happiness used to reside. You replay every moment from your week in Mallorca, from the gentle caress of the ocean breeze to the warmth of his hand in yours. The memories haunt you, and the loneliness settles in your heart like a cold stone.

One evening, you find yourself wandering the gardens, the moonlight casting a soft glow over the flowers. The beauty of the night contrasts sharply with your inner turmoil. You stop by the fountain, the sound of water soothing yet haunting.

Your father’s voice echoes in your mind, reminding you of the responsibilities you’ve shunned. You should be grateful for everything, yet all you feel is regret. “Why can’t you just be what we want you to be?” he had said, and the words sting like a whip.

You sink to the ground, tears spilling as you realize the truth—you cannot live a life dictated by others. You want to fight for your love, to reclaim the happiness you’ve tasted with Carlos.

“I can’t keep living this way,” you whisper to the night, your heart racing with determination. “I won’t lose him.”

The decision crystallizes in your mind: you will leave again, this time for good. You’ll fight for the life you want, for the love you’ve found. The fear that had held you back shatters, replaced by an unyielding resolve.

As dawn breaks, you pack a small bag once more, your heart pounding with the thrill of rebellion. You leave a note for your family, knowing they may never understand, but this time, you don’t care. You are doing this for yourself.

The flight to Mallorca feels like an eternity, your heart racing with anticipation. You step off the plane, the warm breeze washing over you, carrying the scent of the sea and memories of laughter. The familiar landscape unfolds before you, each corner reminding you of the moments you cherished with Carlos.

You find him at the same café, his laughter echoing through the air as he chats with a group of friends. When he sees you, his face lights up with a mixture of surprise and joy, and in that moment, everything else fades away.

“Is that really you?” he asks, disbelief evident in his voice. “I thought I lost you for good.” You run to him, throwing your arms around him, the warmth of his embrace grounding you. “I came back. I had to fight for us,” you breathe, tears of relief streaming down your cheeks. Carlos pulls back, searching your eyes for the truth. “You mean it? You really want this?”

“Yes! I want you, Carlos. I want this life, the one I choose for myself. No more hiding, no more running.” You take a deep breath, the weight of the world lifting off your shoulders.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmurs, cupping your face in his hands. “I was worried you’d change your mind.”

“Never. I’ve spent too long trying to be someone I’m not. I want to embrace who I am, and that includes you.” You lean in, and he captures your lips with his, a kiss that seals the promise of a future together.

For the next few days, you immerse yourself in the vibrant life of Mallorca, exploring the island hand in hand. You learn more about racing, his passion igniting something within you. You share your dreams and fears, building a bond stronger than ever.

But then, the day comes when Carlos must leave for a race. As you stand on the balcony, watching him pack, a wave of sadness washes over you. “You’ll come back, right?” you ask, the uncertainty creeping in.

“Of course! I’ll always come back to you,” he promises, wrapping you in his arms. “Just remember, you’re the reason I push harder on the track. You give me strength.” As he leaves, you feel a mix of pride and longing. You have finally found your voice, your path, and love. But you know that this journey has only just begun.

Months pass, and you find yourself at peace with your choices. You’ve forged a life away from the palace, pursuing your passions alongside Carlos. The connection you share deepens, built on trust and understanding.

Finally, the day comes when you stand before your father again, ready to confront the past. You’ve made your decision; you want to forgive him and seek a relationship based on honesty.

“Dad, I want to talk,” you say, your voice steady as you approach him in the gardens. He looks up, surprise etched on his face. “You’re back from your… adventures.”

“I want to understand. I want us to move forward, but I need you to understand me too.” The words come rushing out, a torrent of emotions spilling over.

Your father’s expression softens, and for the first time, you see the regret in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to push you away. I just wanted to protect you.”

“I know. But I need you to let me be myself,” you reply, your heart open. “I want to find my own path, and I want you to support that.”

As the conversation unfolds, you both find common ground. There’s healing in vulnerability, and slowly, you rebuild the bridge between you.

A few months later, you stand in a sun-drenched chapel surrounded by friends and family, your heart pounding with excitement. Carlos stands at the altar, his eyes full of love and determination.

As you walk down the aisle, your father by your side, you feel a sense of peace. You’ve embraced your past, and you’re ready to step into the future. You take Carlos’s hand, and in that moment, you know you’ve chosen the right path.

The vows you exchange are a promise not just to each other but to yourself: to love fiercely, to fight for your happiness, and to always remain true to who you are.

As you seal your vows with a kiss, the future stretches before you—unpredictable, thrilling, and entirely yours.

[taurasiluvr]

how you can help palestine

★ thinking about diana taurasi putting you in your place... kinda inspired by sen's strap headcanons @taurasiluv

 ⠀ ── ⠀warnings ;; nsfw under the cut, mdni. brat taming (my fav!!!), slapping, degradation, mommy kink (it's a dee smut, what do you expect?)

 ⠀ ── ⠀word count ;; 1.1k

 ⠀ ── ⠀rylin's notes ;; requests are open for those who want to send them in :p

"didn't i tell you to cut the fucking attitude?" diana's voice rang out the kitchen, causing you to let out an irritated sigh. you paused, gripping the edge of the counter as you tried to steady your nerves.

"dee, 'm not a kid. you can't talk to me like that," you shot back, trying to keep your voice even. diana walked into the living room, her tall frame filling the doorway. she was still in her practice gear, her face glistening with sweat.

"yeah, i know you're not. you're acting a brat, and i don't like it." she replied, her tone assertive. she opened a water bottle, chugging it slowly. you took the moment to take in your girlfriend; all of her.

you rolled your eyes and turned around, going back to cutting up some fruit. "maybe i wouldn't act like a brat if you actually paid attention to me," you muttered under your breath, knowing full well she'd hear.

diana raised an eyebrow, setting the water bottle down. "what was that, baby?" she crossed her arms, watching you intently.

"nothing," you grumbled, deciding to really test her patience right now.

"no, you wanna act all big and and tough, let's hear it," diana said, stepping closer.

"i told you, nothing,"

you ignored the calls of your name as you walked toward your shared bedroom, letting the annoyance take over. diana walked in the bedroom behind you, her expression now pissed.

"don't walk away from me when we're talking," she said, her voice low and controlled, but you could feel the anger simmering beneath.

you spun around to face her, your own frustration boiling over. "what's there to talk about, dee? you're never here! i'm tired of feeling like an afterthought."

diana's eyes narrowed. "so that's what this is is about? and this is how you deal with it? by throwing a tantrum like a child?"

"well i-"

"no, i'm still talking." she repeated as your face contorted into irritation. "first of all, fix your fuckin' face. and this whole thing is because you're needy? cause you haven't had a good fuck in a while?"

you clenched your fists, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. diana's blunt words cut deep, but there was a part of you that couldn't deny the truth in them. you needed her, and the lack of attention had been gnawing at you.

"fine," she sighed as she slammed the door shut. "get on the bed, sweetheart."

you looked stunned as diana just kept glaring at you. "you wanna act all shy now, baby?"

you let out a breathe before obeying her, sitting on the bed as diana walked over toward you. she grabbed your face tightly, forcing you to look upward. her eyes bore into yours, a mix of anger and desire flickering in them at you being so submissive.

"you're not gonna pull that bratty attitude with me anymore, got it?" she said, her voice low and commanding.

you nodded, unable to find your voice. the intensity of her gaze, the way her fingers dug into your cheeks, sent a shiver down your spine. she let go of your face before landing a swift slap to your cheek, a moan coming out of your lips at the sting.

"i asked you something," she demanded, her hand finding your face again, her grip tightening slightly. "do you understand?"

"yes," you managed to whisper, your voice trembling.

"yes, what?" she prompted, leaning closer so her breath fanned across your lips.

"yes, mommy," you replied, your voice barely audible.

"good," she said, releasing your face and stepping back slightly. "now strip. wanna see you naked."

your heart pounded in your chest as you complied, your hands shaking slightly as you undressed. diana watched you intently, her eyes dark with desire. she turned around as well, rummaging through your drawer before finding her strap. she slipped it on quickly before she turned to face you once again.

once you were completely bare, you stood there, feeling vulnerable under her intense gaze. she stepped closer again, her hand trailing down your arm, sending goosebumps in its wake.

without another word, her hand gripped your head before she gestured to her strap. her eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your breath catchm as you nodded slowly, opening your mouth, you leaned forward, taking her in.

diana's other hand tangled in your hair, holding you steady as you began to move, your lips and tongue working to please her. she let out a low groan, the sound sending a thrill through you. you looked up at her, meeting her gaze, her expression a mix of dominance and desire.

"that's it, baby," she murmured, her voice rough with arousal. "just like that."

you continued, your movements becoming more confident as you found a rhythm. diana's grip on your hair tightened slightly, guiding you as you took more of her in. the taste and feel of the strap filled your senses, and you felt a rush of heat between your legs, your own arousal building.

after a few moments, diana pulled you back, her eyes dark with need. "on the bed," she commanded, her voice leaving no room for hesitation.

you obeyed, crawling onto the bed and positioning yourself on your hands and knees, your body trembling with anticipation. diana moved behind you, her hands running over your back and down to your hips, her touch somehow both possessive and gentle.

"you're going to take everything i give you," she said, her voice low and commanding. "understand?"

"yes, mommy," you replied, your voice breathless with need.

she positioned herself at your entrance, teasing you for a moment before pushing in slowly, filling you completely. you moaned, your body arching as you adjusted to the sensation. diana held your hips firmly, setting a steady pace that quickly had you gasping for breath.

she landed a couple slaps to your ass, causing a string of curses and moans to leave your mouth.

"fucking brat," she growled, her movements becoming more intense. "say it, say you're mine."

"'m yours," you managed to gasp, your body responding eagerly to her every thrust. "'m yours, dee."

the pleasure built quickly, each thrust driving you closer to the edge. diana's grip on your hips tightened, her own breathing becoming ragged as she drove you toward release.

when you finally came, it was with a cry of pure ecstasy, your body shuddering with the force of your orgasm. she pulled out gently, collapsing beside you on the bed and pulling you into her arms. you lay there together, both of you catching your breath, the intensity of the moment slowly giving way to a feeling of deep contentment.

"did i fuck all that attitude outta you now, baby?" diana managed to say as you let out a breathless laugh.

"mhm, yeah. you did," you replied.

if you enjoyed, any interaction is greatly appreciated!

with love, rylin 𝜗𝜚

[blackynsupremacy]

EVERY MUSICIAN’S

FAN

pairing: nicholas a. chavez x black!fem!reader

summary: nicholas was just supposed to be a replacement for your lead guitarist, but now it seems he wants to be more than that.

contains: 80s au, songfic, angst, smut, reader is a famous rock/popstar, 18+ content (mdni), infidelity (reader does), drug/alcohol/tobacco use, implication of a toxic relationship/affair, greed, manipulation, swearing, praise kink, riding, missionary, choking, squirting, cream pie, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (m/f receiving)

a/n: ever since i saw that picture of nick, i had this in my head. plus, ya’ll know how much i love me some mj. reblogs are appreciated!

taglist: @sabrinasopposite @greengoblinswifey @supaprettyg @hoffmansgirl @titsout4nicholas @jkr820 @simply-lovley44 @hnch33rios @hopefully-saturn @xoxoglittergossip @austeenbootler @niteskysx @thabiddie23 @sheydnni @venic-bxtch @miguelspvssy

“i fucking mean it, nicholas! this is the last goddamn time.”

that’s what you said the last time as you were gathering your scattered clothes that were sprawled all over the floor. as you concealed every part of your fucked out body, nicholas, who was only clad in a chained cross necklace, casually laid back between the sheets of the lust-filled bed of the hastily rented motel room with a hand behind his head and the other inhaling a cigarette between his lips. he huffed out a cloud of smoke with a satisfied expression playing on his devilishly handsome face,

“ooh, someone’s mad. you’re back to calling me nicholas. when’re you gonna get tired of saying the same shit, doll?” he rhetorically questioned with a glint of mischief.

your gaze darkened as your lips formed in a tight line. he was absolutely right, but here you were, with your head so damn stuck in the clouds still believing you had control over this mess of a situation.

“that’s your name, ain’t it?— and don’t act so smug, asshole. i got somebody and as soon as that curtain goes down at the last stop, you can get the hell out my band and like ray said, hit the fucking road! just let me be.” as you don your undergarments and reach for your shirt, you spoke to him with so much venom laced in your voice. the same voice that helped you to get discovered, achieve your dreams, and perform for your adoring fans around the world. speaking of fans, it enchanted one in particular that happened to enchant you back—in the worst way possible. nicholas’ sinister, melodious laughter echoed in the tense silence before he took another drag from his cigarette and puffed out more air.

“hey—you do whatever you want, baby. you’d let me just be a roadie if it means i get to fuck your brains out.”

“bullshit, nicholas! you’re lower than a fucking groupie. plus, i’ve seen you around other women and i know you’re every move, so you sure as hell won’t trap me…again!”

you couldn’t believe that you fell right into his trap of seduction again. you already had a man, but with the weight of making sure your first worldwide tour was a success and his absence due to a family emergency, the heavy weight you were feeling was added when he waltzed into your world. you were a young star on the rise as a new era was looming in. being lumped in with popular, black rockstars such as michael, janet, jimi, and prince was a massive deal, especially if your music spreads globally. that’s what you loved about what you were doing, your music was your music and people loved it despite your race and sex. it brought them together. you were only twenty-three and after two albums, your latest one was in the high heavens of the charts and even granted you three grammys that sat proudly on your shelf. now, it was time for the next step in your career: a world tour.

it all started three days before the tour began when your lead guitarist, randy, had to recover in the hospital after a near-fatal motorcycle accident. you were glad that he was going to pull through, but now you were in a jam. randy confirmed that he was going to send someone who he knew, trusted, and can shred just as good as him. that’s how you met nicholas chavez when your manager introduced him during a sound check. he only had two years on you, but it was refreshing to have someone in the band within the same age range as you. although you weren’t single, you had to admit that nicholas was fine as a motherfucker. nicholas stood tall in the six foot range with a lightly stubbled chiseled face, piercing brown eyes, and tousled brown hair. not to mention his burly biceps that were shown off in his black, lust for life wife beater topped with a gold cross chain.

he had the look, but could he shred to your music? when you inquired, he gushed about how big of a fan he was of your talent and records. you felt the heat of embarrassment rise on your face as he didn’t forget to comment how you looked more beautiful in person than you did on posters, interviews, and music videos. nicholas really was a fan. you got everyone in position on stage and as soon as he plugged his cherry red guitar within the amp, you attentively observed as nicholas effortlessly glided across the fretted strings. his skilled fingers moved like clockwork while playing some of the introductory notes of the first song in your set list. you cued in the rest of the band before you opened your mouth to serenade the empty stadium with the first verse. out of the corner of your eye, you could see nicholas’ awestruck gaze. his fingers never stopped moving on the guitar. during this routine, you’d step towards randy and smoothly orbit around him as his chords strummed in harmony with your vocals. when you did so around nicholas, his eyes never pulled away from your figure as he saw you in your element as if you were a goddess—his shining star. he was a shoe in.

“thank you, l.a.! i love you!”

you bade a farewell to the roaring crowd of fans into the microphone before you take a bow and exit the stage with the band following suit. there were a couple dressing rooms in the back, but there was a common area where you and your crew went to congratulate each other in merriment for such a wonderful kick-off to the tour. there was some champagne toasts raised for your accomplishment and for randy’s recovery.

“yo! let’s not forget the newbie for stepping in and absolutely killing that shit tonight. i appreciate it, nick—” you cheered then took a pause, placing your fingers on your lips to hush yourself. you weren’t sure if he was comfortable being addressed as such. “shit, my bad! i know we just met, but you don’t mind if i call you nick, do you?” you questioned as you flashed an amicable grin. nicholas reciprocated with his own grin that you found to be—beguiling of sorts. with the thought of your own relationship, you brushed it off immediately, taking a sip of the alcohol.

“it’s no sweat. you’re a shining star, so i’d be honored if you do.” he responded with a wink which caused your already drunk bandmates to hoop and holler as they nudged nicholas and egged him on. you calmed them down and confirmed the fact of your relationship. nicholas still didn’t seem dejected,

“well, he’s the luckiest guy if he gets to be with you.”

you bashfully wave him off before taking one last gulp and standing,

“aw, thank you, nick, but there’s no need to flatter me. you’re just saying that!”

oh, how wrong you were. little did you know, nicholas meant every word. throughout this tour, he was determined to make his wildest fantasies of making you his star come true, whether you had a man or not. three weeks of the tour progressed and you were more pumped than ever with each stop. your confidence was skyrocketing in your musical abilities and stage presence, nicholas always made sure to let you know that while you guys would have a drink and a smoke together in your dressing room after the show. you didn’t immediately jump into the limo like your other bandmates afterwards to go off to a party for some drinks, narcotics, and groupies. as a rising star, privacy was a gift. you’d want to take a few moments to chill, relish the moment, and reflect on your performance. you would use the payphone to call your boyfriend to converse about each concert during the first week, but some calls were received and others weren’t picked up. the worry bubbled in your stomach with what could be keeping him so preoccupied. eventually, you didn’t leave a message or just tried to call once a week. you were surprised that nicholas didn’t follow suit with the rest of the crew which resulted in you inviting him to recuperate with you, so that he wouldn’t feel left out. at first, it was just him praising you for your hard work and skill and you guys exchanging basic information about your early lives. then before you know it, the undeniable chemistry was simmering between you—on and off the stage.

things came to a head when you and nicholas were sitting on the black, velvet sofa of your dressing room. he was fooling around, strumming and improvising riffs on his guitar while you watched and smoked a cigarette. you were thoroughly impressed with his ability, it was as if a guitar fell into his hands at birth and he just went with it. you scooted closer, observing which finger stayed on which fret or strummed on which string.

“nick, you’re a talent with those riffs, man. it’s like fucking magic the way you handle those fingerings.” you mused and smashed the cigarette butt in the ashtray on the table as he halted his movements.

“hah, thanks! means a lot from coming from my biggest inspiration. it’s not everyday you get to meet your idols—let alone, get a compliment from em’.” with one last strum, he sat the guitar securely within the case and turned towards you with a lopsided grin on his face. there was that same charming expression that you feel that—enticement, maybe even desire towards him and he never was discreet about how he felt towards you either. no, you really shouldn’t be feeling that way. he’s basically a co-worker! how would that look on the tabloids if you ever thought about crossing that line? with a kind expression, you humbly wave him off as you’ve done before,

“nick, seriously, you’re too kind. you don’t always have to flatter me. y’know the guys have been giving us a hard time about how you have this big crush on me. that’s hilarious, right?” you nervously chuckle and averted your gaze down to your hands before they shift to his. they looked so firm, so powerful. you didn’t miss the veins that were protruding from the tanned skin of his hands. there was now a silence lingering, an unspoken tension. nicholas had to make his move.

“you know that i mean those things i say, right?”

your eyes jerked themselves on his to make sure you were hearing him correctly. you prayed he was just joking, but judging from this stare down, you could tell that he was not playing around.

“nick, i—” you stammer, but he catches it in time.

“i don’t say those things because i have to—i say ‘em because i want to and what if the guys were maybe onto somethin’?”

“onto what?” you ask, anticipating his answer.

“my ‘crush’ on you. sweetheart, i’d be a goddamn liar if i were to deny what they said. i mean—look at you, you’re talented and you have the voice of an angel. you’re real. you actually get people through your music, so you’re not like these other fucking posers.” nicholas brings his body in closer to yours, making you both mere centimeters in distance. “by the way, you’re so fucking beautiful. it’s not even real. your skin, your hair, your body. fuck, it just makes me insane that i’m not yours.” he proclaimed, his arm sliding around behind the sofa, his fingertips sensually grazing the brown skin of your shoulder as he continues to sing his praises to you, “every time you walk around me during that one song, i get so hard—heh, it’s pathetic because you don’t even fucking touch me.” he chuckles, his warm breath tickling your face as you instinctively clench your thighs to douse the pulsating throbbing within your core. nicholas certainly didn’t miss that as he didn’t miss the opportunity to rest his free hand on your bare thigh. at his subtle touch, you were shamefully soaked. you had to get away, right now, but why weren’t you getting up? why didn’t you move away as nicholas ghosted his lips over yours? maybe it was your boyfriend’s absence and the long, lonely nights of sleeping solo in an executive suite fit for a star.

“nick, i know what you’re doing and—” you gulp under his lustful gaze that continued to draw you in. you still never moved from your spot. “i know how these rockstars get on these tours, but i’m not with that. i have someone.” you look towards the window, knowing that the payphone is just right outside. not that you’ve been keeping track, but you haven’t even called on the phone tonight to tell your man that you were doing okay. nicholas’ long fingers firmly, yet softly guide your chin, so that you were face to face to again.

“hey, hey. i get it, doll, but you can’t tell me that you don’t get—” with the lick of his lips, he glanced down to your still crossed legs, “lonely.”

his words were nothing, but the truth and you hated it. you could feel the heat of radiating off his body, the way his brown gaze stuck to you with admiration and desire like the true fan he claimed to be. you wanted to make a run for it, to push him away and remind yourself of your commitment, but the truth was that the loneliness had been creeping in and looming over you like this dark cloud that won’t move.

“look, nick. this isn’t right,” you urged. you attempted to deny him and yourself from falling into such a sinful, yet enticing endeavor, but even as the words left your lips, you felt the pull of his energy. it was so enigmatic. for a temporary replacement, he had the look and the charisma of a true star. you couldn’t deny that nicholas was indeed a fine specimen of a man. the females in the stands would go crazy whenever he had the chance of an improvised guitar solo. it was obvious they were digging the way he moved his fingers or how his vein ridden biceps would flex with every movement more than his music ability. now that it came down to it, you were one of them. you could see the way his toned chest rose and fell, the way his breath quickened as he leaned in just a fraction more. you didn’t miss how his eyes continuously shifted from yours to your lips.

“c’mon, is it really so wrong for you to want to feel something real?” nicholas asked, his voice tantalizingly low as each word was dripping with temptation. “you’re out here, living this incredible life with some insane fucking talent and beauty. don’t lie to me, babe, you want something more.” his hand traveled farther up on your thigh. you could see the smirk forming on his face once he felt the sensation of goosebumps rising on your bare, brown skin. you swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest as if it were going to literally explode. the palpable tension in the air made it difficult to think straight.

“i have someone, okay?” you repeated, but it felt weaker this time, as if you were trying to convince yourself more than him. how pathetic. nicholas chuckled softly, a sound that sent shivers down your spine.

“oh, yeah? i bet if you went out to that phone, he wouldn’t even pick up. you see, i’m always here for you, so how ‘bout you let go and use me—just for one night, hm?” he whispered close to your ear, his lips ghosting along your jawline. you wanted to feel the touch of his lips press onto your skin, but now you were stuck with a choice—or what little of a choice you had left. if leaving were an option, you would’ve gotten the hell out of dodge by now.

“i shouldn’t.” you murmured, but even as you spoke, you could feel yourself beginning to crumble. “c’mon, baby, just one night,” he urged, his voice a seductive whisper before his fingers easily slid up to the area of where your legs are crossed. “let me show you what you’ve been missing. i’m your biggest fan, so let me prove it to you. you deserve to feel good, to let go of all the pressure and just—be.” at that phrase, you sigh as the tense muscles in your legs suddenly turn to jelly, giving him all the access that he needed to slide his fingers within your leather skirt. his middle grazes over the lace material of your panties before he presses the tip of finger flat against the damp surface of your clothed pussy. nicholas could gloat at the fact that even when you said no, you were already putty in his hands, but he just couldn’t fathom the thought of him actually arousing his musical idol of all people—what luck he had tonight.

“just say the word, honey, and i’m all yours tonight. i won’t go any further until you do.” as he spoke, you felt the weight of your loneliness pressing down on you, the longing for connection that had been building up inside you. the thought of giving in, of letting him take you away from it all, was intoxicating—just like the scent of cigarettes mixed with his cologne now that he was closer than ever. god, you just wanted to feel desired, to be wanted in a way that only he seemed to understand. no one was around, so how could the paps possibly see what you were up to? shit, male stars do this all the time and never seem to get flack for it. they get to do whatever they want with their little groupies and they’re deemed as kings, but nicholas was just one man, so—you made your decision. with a shaky breath, you deliberately nodded and shrugged your shoulders. “hah, fuck it—just for tonight.” you said, your voice trembled with anticipation before you pointedly turned to look him straight into his eyes.

“but, we can’t let it go further than that.” you affirm.

nicholas’ brown eyes lit up with a mixture of triumph and desire, and in that moment, you knew you were stepping into a world of pleasure and possibly, regret. he’s got you where he wants you and frankly, you couldn’t really give a fuck for now.

“oh, trust me, baby. you won’t regret it,” with a tone of mischief, he promised and it didn’t take a second for him to finally crash his lips on yours to which you reciprocated without any more doubts once you place your hands on his jawline to bring him in closer as if you were a starved woman. as the kiss progressed, his cunning digits stealthily moved your panties to the side beneath you skirt, causing you to open your legs wider. the pads of middle and ring fingers glided along your slit before his thumb came in to caress pressured light circles around your clit . you whimpered out into nicholas’ mouth, giving his tongue the opportunity to intrude into your mouth like a smooth criminal, you instantly went along with it as your desire for his touch began to increase. a whine left your lips when his descended to lay an attack on your neck. as he did so, you jolted a bit when he stuck his middle inside of you. your wet, cushiony walls stretched to give him the warm welcome he’s been craving for a while.

“fuck, you’re so tight. so fucking beautiful. i bet you don’t get like this for your boyfriend, eh?” he darkly chuckled, deliberately moving in and out your pussy.

“ah, nick, please.” you’re practically begging for him to add one or two more just to get that much needed release that’s been bottled up. as if he were reading your mind, he slipped in another finger and gained his speed. you moan out his name as your hips instinctively buck for his fingers meet in the middle with that special spot. he smirks at the beautiful music of squelching as you clench tighter around him.

“shit, baby, you hear that? god, you’re soaked.” he teasingly mused while making a scissoring motion, you could hear the volume of your arousal getting louder as his fingers easily move faster. his thumb was back to rapidly rubbing and pressing onto your clit like it was a button on an arcade game. you were just about to cum when he pulled his fingers away, leaving you whining at the emptiness.

“nick, why’d you st—” your words were cut short when he placed his fingers atop of your lips. they were glistening as they were coated in your juices.

“here—wanna taste?” nicholas asked, urging you to give him access to your mouth. a satisfied grin rose on his lips when you answered by sucking off both fingers at the same time. he bit his lip and attentively watched. when you hummed at the taste, he could feel the blood rapidly flowing to his rising cock as you didn’t dare to break the lustful eye contact between you.

“fuck.” nicholas exhaled, instantly taking his fingers from his mouth and initiating another fervent kiss to your lips. he needed to taste and feel you—all of you, so with one of his strong arms wrapped around your body, he swiftly laid you on your back against the plush, black velvet cushions of the sofa. he positions his large body right in between your legs and ruts his clothed arousal against your own as you both take a moment to get lost in each other’s lips before he goes down from your neck to your chest. your hands find their way within his messy, brown hair while he suckles on the melanated skin of your cleavage. his hands then slide under your corset top, he’s so damn giddy that there’s no bra underneath. he palms his firm hands against your soft breasts that he was dying to see for the first time. he peered at you when his hands gripped the hem as if to ask if he can proceed. once you silently give your approval, he pulls the top over head to expose your bare upper half. his hands roamed your body with a hunger that made your skin tingle with goosebumps, his fingers trailing down your sides, exploring every curve. with hooded lids and his mouth slightly agape, he just stared in awe at how this moment could never compare to the numerous sensual fantasies he’s had of you in the past.

“you’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, his hands now pinning your hips deeper within the sofa as he continued to deliberately grind his own into you.

“fuck, i can’t say it enough. you fucking see what you do to me?”

“ah, fuck, nick…” you whimpered, the sound escaping your lips as you bucked your hips up to his. your pussy was practically aching with how much you needed him, you were savoring this moment, but not too much as you hurriedly sat up to pull his tank over his head only to reveal how much of an absolute unit nicholas was. you knew he was fit, but it was like he was straight from the cover off the latest issue from playgirl magazine. he reveled at how your hands slowly roam from his chest down to his firmly toned abdomen. you basically clench around nothing when the ridge of each hard, bulging muscle are within your hands. they travel to his navel, the dark tresses of his happy trail tickled against your fingers. that’s when you finally see the hardened tent of arousal locked within his jeans, you attempt to touch it, but he softly takes ahold of your wrist before you could so. nicholas teasingly clicks his tongue,

“tsk, tsk, tsk. you’re so damn greedy. how ‘bout you do that after i get a taste?” he quips, placing a gentle kiss to your palm before he leans over you to slide your leather skirt down your legs. your drenched black, lace panties follow after, showcasing a clear string of your sweet nectar as they finally depart from your body. you observe as nicholas readies himself in the position between your legs, opening them wider, so that he can be a perfect fit. he marvels at the sight of your wet core before he leaves a trail of wet kisses along each of your inner thighs, pleasuring, yet teasing you as he makes his journey closer to the center. you shudder when his tongue finally makes contact by deliberately licking a long stripe up the slit before he gets to his dirty work. he was devouring you as if your pussy was a treasure he’d been searching for. you vocalize groans of ecstasy while caressing his hair as his lips enclose around your clit, sucking the sensitive nub like a piece of hard candy.

“s-shit—nick. that feels s’good.” you praise, throwing your head back, your fingers dig in the jungle of his head to pull him in as close as possible. nicholas was giving you all of what he’s got and you both knew you couldn’t deny it. he could cum right now as he witnessed you writhe under his touch, but he was patient enough. the combination of him humming in satisfaction against your skin, the bridge of his nose bumping into your clit, and his stubble tickling at your folds could drive you over the edge. you slowly rolled your hips into his face, he starts to become relentless once his tongue is deep with your walls and his thumb plays with your puffy clit to stimulate you further.

“mmm, nick, baby—uh, i’m—” you struggle to communicate as you squirm, the hot ball of pleasure builds from inside of you.

“shh, shh, i know. let it all go. c’mon, beautiful, do it for your biggest fan. i want you give it to me.”

at his words, you were already undone. you clench around his tongue and do what he commands by releasing a literal burst of your arousal onto his face, chin, and even the couch. he laps every single drop as you ride out your first of many highs. you were spent, but not so much when your hands guide his face to yours. you steal a second taste of yourself on his tywhen you crash your lips onto his in hunger before you finally take initiative,

“nick.” you softly, yet firmly call out, “take it all off. sit up nice and pretty f’me.” he doesn’t waste time to sit himself upright on the couch. being the good and loyal fan that he is, you stand between his spread thighs and reward him with sloppy kisses to his lips, bringing them down further until you’re where he’d want you the most. your hands don’t wait to unfasten and unzip the ripped jeans he has on. after his assistance of discarding the clothing to a random part of the room, you kneel to be face to face with the large tent within his plaid boxers. you smirk and return the same teasing energy he gave you, sliding your hands up his knees and down his massive thighs before you firmly palm his arousal. god, he was definitely hard and he was definitely huge, and the full thing hasn’t even sprung out yet. he lets out a guttural sigh in pleasure as you roll his erection within your hand. being ready than you’ll ever be, you slide the boxers down his legs and off his feet to break him free before you reach out to stroke his impressive ego. it was so nice, tall, and stiff. nicholas seemed like the type to keep it up for a while and the best part: it was all for you. he lets out a string of profanity when your tongue leaves a trail along the underside of the shaft. you both can’t take the teasing anymore as your hands firmly place themselves on each thigh, your tongue swirls around his leaking tip as if you were trying to keep melting ice cream from falling off a cone. you take him into your mouth, hallowing your cheeks to move your head up and down the entire length.

“ah, just like that. fuck, i knew you were talented, but this is fucking ridiculous—shit! keep going, doll. fuck, i love your mouth.” his praises motivate you to take half of him within your mouth and the other half to stroke his cock with your palm simultaneously. you hum what happened to be the tune of his favorite song of yours against his skin and he instinctively bucked his hips to bring himself further down your throat. oh, you fucking minx. he knew you wanted to make him feel good as well, but while he appreciated the thought, he only had one mission: you.

“s-stop—can’t fucking take it. m’not gonna cum like this.” he hisses, placing a palm on your neck immediately stopping your movements.

“get the fuck on top of me, right now.”

it was like clockwork the way he effortlessly picked you up from your spot on the floor, placing your knees on each side of his legs, so that your entrance was centimeters from the tip. nicholas strokes himself and gingerly runs the tip along the slit, his hands grip onto your hips to guide them down, filling you up inch by inch until he was right at home. you groaned at the girth that rested inside of you as he leans back on the sofa with his hands behind his head.

“shit, you feel amazing—go ahead, angel, use me. i’m all you need tonight, i’ll be your freak, your lover. for you, i’ll be your any-fucking-thing.” nicholas hyped, jolting his hips to give you a fresh start for you to move on your own and boy, did it feel exhilarating. you finally got your rhythm as you repeatedly moved up and down on his cock, your slick making it easy for him to slide in and out without a problem. with one hand placed on his chest and the other around where his chain rested on his neck, this gave you the leverage you needed to lose full control.

“ah, fuck. nick, baby, you feel so damn good.” your hips don’t stop when his tip lightly touches that precious spot, but you need more, “hah, p-please touch me.” nicholas’ warm gaze instantly darkened at your command, his hands grip right under the plush cheeks of your ass as his own hips jolt up to meet yours. you and nicholas simultaneously groan in pleasure when his tip rapidly bumps against your cervix.

“fuck, look at you. you like using me as your little plaything? y’know i’d do anything for my shining star.” he teased, quickly gaining speed in his hips. you were about to be close as that ball of heat grew within you, but you were starting to tire out. flustered, you lightly tapped him on his burly bicep thrice.

“n-nick! i-i can’t—” you stammer with a desperate look in your eyes, he holds you firmly by the small of your back and flips you over before placing your legs over his shoulders to drill his hips right into yours as if he never lost his rhythm. nicholas was simply mesmerized at the sight before him. you’re crying his name out every second with your eyes shut tight preparing yourself for another orgasm as your walls clench tighter around him. to nicholas, this was heaven, he didn’t give a fuck if he was fucking the shit out of someone else’s chick.

“look at me, baby.” he softly orders, placing one hand on your neck to prompt you into opening your eyes, you do so. “you getting close?” he questions further to which you barely reply, “m-mhm! m’gonna cum.” the next thing you know is that he leans down to slowly move his lips with yours, his tongue gaining entrance as his free hand wedges between you to spread you a little wider and caress pressured circles on your clit with his thumb again to bring you closer combined with his own movements that were starting to get sporadic. you pulled your lips from his momentarily

“nick, come with me. it’s okay.” you say one last time not keeping your eyes off of each other. “s-shit, you’re amazing.” he praises as your body trembles beneath him, his thrusts get sloppier as he moves on your nub faster before you both wail out, becoming completely undone. you find yourself squirting on his cock and navel while he completely pours himself deep inside of you, coating your walls in the thick whiteness of his arousal that now drips from you after he pulls out. thank god you were on the pill, you were already in deep trouble as it is. after you both gathered yourselves together and go your separate ways to prepare for the next stop, the guilt inside you was forming at the realization that— you cheated.

“this can’t happen again, nick.” you firmly said.

“you’re the boss.” he responded nonchalantly.

that’s when you swore to keep it nothing, but professional with nicholas from that day forward. if by professional, you mean sneaking him into your suite while the band was partying or engaging in a quickie within your dressing room. it was futile, the more you tried to resist him, the more persistent he got which would lead to you threatening to kick him out or reiterating that you had a boyfriend, but somehow, it always ends up with him coaxing you into filling that void within your bed—and your heart.

[profoundnightwinner]

i know you’re likely to find this offensive considering the tone you’ve used to respond to similar criticisms, but i genuinely mean no disrespect when i say: liam payne wasn’t a celebrity first, he was a person. i understand why princess diana had the funeral and public mourning that she did, though i think an argument could be made for the fact that she never wanted to be a part of the royal family and therefore, it could be assumed that she likely wouldn’t have loved being mourned the way royal family members are—but she’s a different person and that’s a different situation.

i think it’s been really lovely to see all the memorials popping up for liam and group events that have been held for fans to express their grief with each other. i think it’s also been really nice to see how many heartfelt posts and statements have been made about him, from fans, colleagues, and family members alike. but liam’s funeral is for his loved ones. it is not for anyone who thinks they’re entitled to his family’s grief because they loved his music. privacy is such a gift, and for someone who was torn apart in the public eye so aggressively, i think it’s important that he’s given that gift at his own funeral at least. i think what you’re advocating for is pretty disturbing, and the way you’ve responded to people who’ve said similarly has seemed pretty inappropriate. i’m sure you’ll respond the same way to this, calling me a bitch and critiquing my reading comprehension, but i read every word love, and you’re just in the wrong here. think about if it was you, and maybe the criticism wouldn’t be so befuddling. leaving anon off so you’re welcome to block or speak further if you’d wish.

all the best <3

I am not advocating anything, that's the thing.

I resent being told what I can and cannot want. And there has been so much of that, both in this fandom and on the Internet at large.

You think a private funeral would be best. And I can see your point.

But that is not what I *want*.

Do you understand the difference?

(Not critizing your reading comprehension. *g*)

Do you realize that critizing people for wanting something that is perfectly natural, wanting to say goodbye to a loved one, is wrong? It is simply human nature.

Princess Diana was also a person first, before she was a celebrity. *Every* celebrity is a person first, before they are a celebrity.

(Oh, and Diana would have loved that funeral, mark my words. *g*)

I am not saying anyone is entitled to anything. I am saying the exact opposite. *You* (*nobody*) are entitled to tell anyone what they are allowed to want.

The fandom police/the thought police wants to tell us all how to think, how to feel, that it is wrong to have wants and interests.

It is *okay* to have wants. It is *okay* to have your interest in a matter diverge from someone else's, even if it is someone you respect.

You have to ask yourself—the people who posted that, if they had received an invitation, would they have gone?

I am not advocating anything. I was peacefully minding my own business on the matter when that video started circulating and suddenly there were even more posts going around.

And I am just so incredibly tired of that kind of performative whining. It does no good and does in fact do a great deal of harm (look at the recent election) and it gaslights people into thinking that having a simple wish or want is somehow wrong.

Beloved public figures sometimes get a big public send-off.

There is no harm in quietly, peacefully, respectfully wanting something like that.

We need to stop letting people take our humanity away.

It is only the inhuman ones that want us to stop wanting.

[spaceorphan18]

Have you read the latest script of K&J's podcast about the Michael episode? I'm very interested in hearing your thoughts. They were talking about Jenna acting out and being forced to take time off. And they mentioned being upset because other people were acting out and getting storylines or being given time off to do other things. The later one is def about D since he went to do the musical but I can't believe he would act out for that, it's like totally OOC.

Same anon as before as I was just finishing to read the script. They did indeed talk about Darren being written off and I'm debating if I should listen this time because the way it's written they seem very jealous of him. I'm getting upset by just reading this. So I'm still very curious about your thoughts about it if and when you have the chance to read/listen to it.

I actually figured you guys were all tired of my opinions, lol.

Yes, I did kind of skim the transcript this morning because I saw people talking about it and was curious. And, I have a lot of complicated feelings about the whole thing.

First of all, though, I say this with love to all the Blaine and Darren fans out there -- Kevin and Jenna are never going to be able to be objective when doing this podcast. I keep thinking about all the other rewatch podcasts I listen to, and how all of them - even when discussing things that were hard to go through and/or things that weren't that great with the show - have a level of decorum that Kevin and Jenna just do not have. I do not know why they began this podcast, but digging into the show on a media analysis level just is not where their talents lie.

(Also, I don't think they love Glee the way those other podcasters genuinely love their show and that just colors how they see things. I'll get more into this in a moment...)

And I get that it's frustrating. Believe me, I do. There are plenty of Kurt things they do not talk about that drive me nuts. But at the same time, I feel like the 'recaps' have boiled down to praising Naya, Amber, and themselves; commentating on whatever BTS stuff comes up, and discussing shit on TikTok. I'm not sure why they're even bothering with the 'recaps', tbh.

But guys - if this podcast is upsetting you, if you're finding yourself this anxious or mad or whatever -- it's time to stop. They're not going to change how they do things, and at this point, I'm not entirely sure what you're waiting for from them? Maybe it's time to stop hate listening <3 <3

***

As for the acting out -- I think a lot of the cast probably did. I'm sure Lea was a terror to work with at times. I'm sure Mark probably wasn't easy either. I know Naya spoke up on a lot of things -- though the producers didn't take as much issue with her until the Season 5 drama. Chris was pretty vocal about choices with his character. I can imagine Amber being just as frustrated with Mercedes' lack of anything to do. Didn't Heather say she kept it all inward? And what about Diana who really seems to not ever want to talk about Glee again?

So - who knows what acting out means, tbh.

Keeping all of this in context -- this cast was very tired by the time Season 3 came around. There were too many characters to service, they keep adding ones in, and they were all very young. (And for those of you who are experiencing your early 20s right now? I hate to say this to you -- but you are all still very young.) Added on the fact that the producers clearly did not understand their mental health needs (as evident about how apologetic Ryan Murphy seems to be about all of it) you get a lot of young people expressing their frustration in a lot of different ways over a lot of different things.

I think that Jenna has some very, very complicated feelings about the show -- and in particular about this era because this is where she had a rather big break down. You know what, I do feel for her, because I can see where she's coming from. I can't imagine - feeling like you're tied to a job where everyone around you seems to be getting a better deal than you, and you're trying to be the nice one, and eventually, holding all of that inwardly will make you crack. I'm glad she went to therapy. I kinda hope she's still going to therapy because it seems as though a lot of this is still bothering her.

And I don't really think that Darren, specifically, is ultimately what led to Jenna's breakdown. I think it was a lot of things compounding on each other and Darren on Broadway might have been the last straw that caused her to crack.

I will say (again with all the love to Darren, I adore the guy) there was underground talk that when Darren first got there - he didn't exactly handle his newfound fame in the most eloquent of ways -- in that he was a little on the pompous side. But again, that was age, and by the time Season 4 came around, by all accounts that I came across, he was friends with everyone.

That said - none of this is Darren's fault. It's not Darren's fault that Ryan Murphy handled his young cast and their mental health very badly. It's not Darren's fault that he jumped on opportunities when they arose. It's not Darren's fault that through his natural talents Blaine became a way more popular character than half the original cast. And it's not Darren's fault that Jenna has her own shit to deal with.

***

So, yeah...

I guess those are my thoughts.

And I'm still here enjoying Kurt, Blaine, Chris, and Darren -- and believe it or not, a lot of the show in general. And I don't really listen to Kevin and Jenna's podcast anymore because they just don't care about the things I do -- and that's fine.

[seducemefanficsandheadcanons]

If this is triggering then sorry but can you do a fic where Y/N was raped and is basically sick of her life constantly falling apart then tries to kill herslef then Sam catches her in the act. Then she tells him what happened and he gives her cuddles?

Hi<3 So, I just want to preface this by saying trigger warning for any readers. This fic will include mentions of rape, attempted suicide, depression, and angst. I'm aware this is a very sensitive subject matter, and I tried to be as respectful and sensitive as possible. Please tell me if there is anything I could do to improve or to be more sensitive regarding the subject matter. I hope you enjoy the story<3 I wrote it to be platonic, but feel free to interoperate it how you like.

You are not broken

I was shaking, almost dropping the blade in the process. I was done, life had thrown too many things at me. My father, grandfather, Malix, Diana, and today. The memories of the man invaded my thoughts, mental images of his grabbing me, pulling me into the alleyway. The feeling of him forcing my clothes down. It was too much.  I didn’t care anymore, there was no using logic to find my way out of this.

I was tired of being strong. Tired of smiling. Tired of crying.

Tired.

I tried to breathe as the tears continued falling down my face, but my lungs refused. I wasn’t making any attempts to be quiet, as I was supposed to be home alone. The shaking in my hands didn’t subside as I brought the blade down to my wrist, taking a large breath.

Suddenly, before the blade could even make contact with my skin, someone snatched it out of my grasp. In front of me was my close incubus friend and roommate, Sam, tightly gripping the blade in his hands. He was giving me a look I couldn’t quite understand. It was hard to ignore tears that formed as I stared into his eyes, frozen in place while I waited for him to do something.

My thoughts were almost frozen. Panic, embarrassment, sadness, anger was all there. But any trail of thought seemed to be as stuck as I was.

After what felt like forever, I looked away, my eyes falling on his bloody hand. “Sam, you're bleeding.”

I felt his gaze harden, and suddenly I was being picked up. Before I could register what was happening, we were out of the bathroom and standing in my room. He held me tightly to him, even as he sat my feet on the ground. I noticed the trembling which reverberated throughout his body, and I could swear I felt his tears in the crook of my neck, where his face was buried. 

I was stiff, unsure of how to respond. I just wrapped my arms around him as I tried, and failed, to speak.

Eventually, he pulled away and sat down on my bed which I followed suit. I stared at nothing at particular, barely aware of the tears which were still falling from my eyes. My fists were tightly shut, my nails breaking the skin of my palms. I failed to bring myself to look at Sam, but I knew he was staring at me.

“What the fuck were you thinking.” Sam asked. His tone was harsh, but I knew him well enough to know that he cared.

I didn’t answer, just digging my nails deeper. I found myself admiring the paintings on the walls, thinking of the feelings of my hair on my neck, anything but the predicament I was in.

Sam was impatient, however. “Y/N, what were you fucking thinking?” He asked again, louder this time.

I gulped, now staring at my hands which were bleeding from my nails. “I wasn’t.” I answered quietly.

I could hear him take a deep, shaky breath before he spoke again with a slightly weaker tone. “Why?”

I closed my eyes, the shaking in my body still very prominent. “I’m tired.”

Sam shifted closer to me. “Then let us help.”

I shook my head, crying even more. “I can’t be helped.”

“Bullshit.”

I finally looked up at Sam. His eyes were slightly red, and I could see the fallen tears on his cheeks. His expression was frustrated, worried, and saddened at the same time. “I’m unfixable.” I said, a sad smile stretching across my face.

His eyebrows furrowed, and before he could argue I spoke again.  “Anyone with eyes can take a look at me and know I’m a lost cause.”

I swallowed hard, but continued. “Everything I touch burns, and I’m tired of worrying every good thing is gonna be fucked up.”

His eyes were completely unreadable as he spoke. “You can’t let the shit that's happened in your life mean nothing. If you…” He stopped, and his eyes began to water again. 

I sighed, looking back down. “I don't know what wrong with me.” I admitted.

Sam’s arms wrapped around me. “Nothing is wrong with you, you can’t control the bad things that have happened to you.”

Something he said made me break.

Suddenly I was sobbing, turning and returning his embrace. He tightened his grip around me, his hand rubbing soothing circles on the small of my back. He let me cry into his shoulder, whispering and letting me know everything would be okay. 

“Sam.” I said, between sobs. “I was raped.”

I felt him tighten his grip and go slightly rigid for only a second before returning to his previous demeanor. He continued to sooth me, telling me it wasn’t my fault and that I’d be okay. 

After what felt like hours, I pulled away. My eyes felt swollen and my head was pounding, but the weight in my chest was slightly lighter. I wiped my face and looked at the clock. It was early, only 4pm, but I was exhausted from crying. A yawn escaped my lips, and Sam smiled ever so slightly. “You should lay down.”

I nodded, looking at him. “Will you stay?”

He just nodded, without even hesitating. He laid down, letting me lay on his chest as he trailed his hands up and down my back. In almost no time, I was falling asleep, my last thoughts surrounding how safe I felt in his arms.

[livannasalinger]

The fight had been going on for a long time, neither side winning, but it was only a matter of time before a mistake was made: out of weariness, out of inevitably someone making the wrong move.

Diana couldn't understand why Kronos had awakened, why he seemed to focus on Flash of all heroes present. Days ago, the power of Kronos stood out, constantly growing, and since then disasters have occurred around the world as a prelude to the inevitable awakening of the cruel titan. Despite her having the power to fight Gods, Kronos has proven to be her toughest fight yet, and besides, something about the situation was odd. His speeches, always crypted, imply that they may not be aware of all the facts. That doesn't justify his actions, and as a princess of themyscira, as Wonder Woman, she had a duty to protect the innocent, but she couldn't help but think... what else was at stake here.

A chill went through Diana, which made her notice, finally, that the air began to grow colder, and that everything began to freeze, even the time. She soon looked at Kronos, who, to her surprise, looked just as confused as she was.

Snowflakes began to fall, some glittering like stars falling from the sky, a stunning sight considering it was sunset.

In a blink of eye, as if it's always been there, a person appears with their back to her, wrapped in what looks like a hood made out of the night sky itself, with intricate symbols decorating it. The battle stops, and waits.

"Grandfather, please, you are hurting yourself." A child's melodious voice pleads, and Diana can feel their pain. Who is calling Kronos Grandfather? Diana waits for Kronos to express anger, waits for him to make any move, but sure enough, she never imagined seeing the titan stop, looking at the child (?) with feelings she couldn't begin to understand.

"Origin.... I didn't think he would send you here Danny. My child, I have no choice, the so called heroes of this planet are destroying the universe they swore to protect."

"I know" the voice echoes "but there are better ways to go about this. Gaia is not happy with the destruction taking place, and Grandpa is suffering. Let me take care of it grandfather, and go talk to grandpa. It's been a while since he is wanting to ...  discuss with you about your ideas for the best of the timeline ... you well know why. And by the Ancients, I'll make you deal with Frostbite after this... honestly I'm on my way to deal with Uncle Hades too, for that Aunt Death needs to have a word with him too...” The child sounded so exasperated and tired at the same time that he reminded Diana of Bruce on many, many occasions.

Kronos raises an eyebrow, hearing the boy complain about being the glorified interdimensional errand boy, but in his gaze the hatred and madness from before had been replaced by fond resignation

With a last look at the heroes (a warning) , one more specifically aimed at  Flash (Diana was going to have words with him soon), Kronos affectionately ruffles the boy's hair, and disappears into a green light.

The child, now hood down, floats above, turning around for the first time.

He appeared to be approximately 17 years old and human in certain features, although with his elongated ears, colors, the glow that seemed to naturally emit, toxic green eyes and claws, plus his clear affiliation with Kronos, probably indicate something else. 

The being who until recently was  calmly asking his grandfather to stop now looked the heroes seriously, but without the overwhelming presence of Kronos. With a smirk, he speaks:

"Hello, my name is Danny... let's talk about how you are going to fix the timeline of this universe before it is destroyed, how about that? By the way, nice to meet you cousin, Pandora talks a lot about you".

Time crisis

Clockwork looked sick, this was the first time Danny had witnessed something like this so he couldn't help but feel concerned for his mentor. However, no matter how many times he asked what was going on, the Ancient refused to answer.

The halfa was taking care of him and finally Clockwork revealed that he was under attack. Danny raised an eyebrow in confusion, he saw no one in Clock Tower and the Observants were not around, seeing his confusion the Master of Time explained himself more clearly.

Clockwork had multiple bodies, distributed in different dimensions. And while they didn't follow the same rules, their job was the same, "preserve the timelines". One of his other bodies must have sensed his timeline being altered multiple times and awoke from its rest to repair the error.

Someone must not have been happy about that, if the damage Clockwork was receiving was anything to go by. The Ancient had no doubt that if they kept attacking him they would cause him further damage, which would be a big problem for the timelines.

The reason he didn't want to tell the halfa that was because he knew Danny would want to help, but not all of his "parts" were good, nor did they have the same methods to "repair" and he didn't want to show the boy a bad part of himself. Although he doubted his other "self" would attack young Daniel, seeing how fond he was of him.

Danny of course, offered to solve the problem. Knowing the boy was stubborn, Clockwork sighed in resignation and opened a portal to the DC Universe, where the Justice League was facing Kronos, Danny stepped through the portal immediately and started running to the battlefield.

Wonder Woman was gritting her teeth in fury as she faced Kronos, who was scowling in annoyance, his gaze seemed to be fixed on the speedster for some reason; half of the League were injured but holding their ground, and John Constantine had almost finished preparing a spell to destroy the titan once and for all. He opened his mouth to tell the Titan it was his end when a teenage boy ran past him.

Danny, who had no idea what was going on, stood in front of Kronos not knowing what to say. He didn't quite know how to fix the situation. Kronos looked at him in confusion as John choked as he noticed the boy in the path of his spell.

"Fate is not inevitable" the halfa told the Titan decisively. While he had been a hero and understood why the people around him would want to "stop" the other Clocky, he didn't want to see his mentor die (even if this was some sort of clone? Danny didn't quite understand), he was selfish, and he knew the other Clocky had his reasons. He looked at the wounded on the battlefield and took a deep breath before looking at the Titan again.

"Come home with me and we'll find another way to solve it" Danny offered, ignoring the heroes glaring at him. Kronos was still silent, he knew he could kill the boy in seconds but something in him protested at the idea.

Danny wondered if he could lock the being in front of him in a Fenton thermos.

[scribblediana]

Long day at Luna Nova

[4dtk]

i love your work!!!! could write one (imagine/oneshot) where s/o it's part of a royal family and nct are about to meet her in a event and they feel in love with her person and get amazed..... (not in a medieval scenario, more like a princess diana....)

p.s: if you could also emphasize s/o with a curly dark hair..... <3

nine princes, one successful courting (127)

im sorry SDHFHFH i didn’t see the ‘event’ part and thought you wanted nct as princes too SORRY AAHHA but i tried to follow ur modern request of a royal family!! rather than a period drama kinda thing. i hope you dont mind i did this only for 127 TT (thank u for the kind words <3)

also rip this is so different from what i usually do i hope this is ok yikes

pairing: royal au!127 x princess!reader

word count: 1.6k

“(y/n)! why are you taking so long?” you roll your eyes, although you were to fully take the blame, having spent so much time talking to your handmaidens in the bathroom. whilst tucking in the curls of your dark hair, the handmaidens adjust your dress and your accessories, excited just as you are for the big day. with the last pendant drawn across your neck, you stare longingly at your reflection in the mirror while the servants admire their work.

“thank you, girls,” you were aching to clutch their hands, shaking from nervousness that they both offered you a squeeze. “c’mon, let’s go meet my family.”

being the only child of the royal family was hard. you were meant to learn everything if it meant that you had no siblings, from proper manners to self defence. sure, you could rely on the guards, but you knew your mother rested better at night when you were equipped with those skills. being the only child also meant having to marry someone at the age of twenty, when you were mature enough to make your decisions about a man that you would devote your life to.

with each offer from other countries came, your parents rejected them all, wanting you to choose your suitor for yourself in person where you could decide whether their personality was for you. in a way, it worked both ways. you had the freedom, but that meant sitting through every lunch and dinner to make small talk. you visibly cringe at the aspect. although thrilled earlier at the thought of meeting new people, the exhausting burden or having to get to know the other person was… tiring.

“do you remember the briefing we went over, dear?”

you have an arm hooked onto your mother’s, “yes, mum. the boys who’re coming, they’re from an alliance from different countries and families, aren’t they?”

“and how many of them are there?”

you swallow uncomfortably, “there’s… nine of them, mother.” watching their cars come in was enough to make you run back into the palace, but you try your best to stand your ground. the gold gates shine under the scorching sun as they pile in one by one, with the impatient paparazzi ready to catch a glimpse and snap of any of the princes arriving here on this late morning.

Nakamoto Yuta, heir to the throne of the Nakamoto family in Japan. the one with possibly the longest journey of them all, ridden with jet lag and cultural differences, he was still determined to impress your family.

his slicked red hair catches you off guard, wondering how free he was able to dye his hair while in such a strict setting. as he steps out of the vehicle, it’s just as the lesson yesterday went, save for the colour of his hair. from top to bottom, he was dressed in the finest silks of the Kadoma region and his features are distinct, taking your breath away even from such a far distance. his eyes are alluring, carrying such mystery that looks fierce on his neutral expression. with a gentle smile, he bows, but not before taking your hand into his for a kiss.

Seo Youngho, older brother to Seo Minhyung, who belonged to the royal family of the States, where their Korean mother had married a local there. they hoped the same would happen to you, although one would wonder how the other brother might process if they weren’t chosen.

the younger brother seemed to be fidgety, as if it was one of the first few events that he’s gone through. with a confident stride, the older takes the first step towards your family, not forgetting to thank the chauffeur with a pat to the back. youngho’s eyes are gentle, sleepy, almost as he greets you with a bow, minhyung slowly following the older with a surprised shriek. it makes you giggle, catching minhyung’s eye that makes his cheeks redden just a tiny bit. youngho nudges the other in your palace, taking the chance to shoot you a quick wink that has you tensing up unintentionally. it makes your heart race.

Lee Haechan, an alias to Lee Donghyuck, who was already prince to the Island of Jeju, travelling here far and wide to converse with you, and hopefully court you.

he steps out with a smirk, shaking hands with his butler before beckoning a younger sibling out of the car. your eyes skim over the different demeanour he’s assumed with his baby sister, who’s babbling playfully into his arms. “his two other younger brothers are busy with their own duties.” your mother leans over to whisper to you. in one hand, he juggles the sibling and in the other he places to his heart, bringing a knee down to the floor to greet you. haechan notices your distraught at such a grand greeting, but he only offers a charming smile, going right back to entertaining the young girl.

Kim Jungwoo of the family of the Gyeonggi-do region, and Kim Doyoung, a family friend that was adopted when his older brother, Gongmyung, could no longer take care of him. they took care of each other, right even up to now where, you, the heir to your city stood beautifully in front of them.

despite the latter being adopted, you realise he takes on the role of guiding jungwoo, with a hand on his lower back and whispered encouragement to the actual heir of the Kim family. jungwoo bows while doyoung follows the greeting of haechan, the prince from earlier. the difference in their salutation prompts a laugh out of the both of them that it elicits a chuckle from you as well, seemingly a pardon for their incoordination. “your hair is beautiful, by the way.” you’re not sure from who does the compliment come from, but you duck your head shyly, feeling around your neat hairdo of neat curls as they grin.

Lee Taeyong from the district of the Southern City of Gwanak-gu, who happened to meet up with Moon Taeil from Northern District of Dongdaemun-gu for a peace treaty between the two places. and now, they were to meet with you, called to their duty as the eldest in their family.

“taeyong’s family has an older sister, but they were more comfortable to send their son to bring a wife home.” your ah sounds a bit indifferent, eyeing how they strode up the stairs as if with purpose. their words clash with each other, matching the situation of their cities but soon manage to articulate their names which you answer with a curtsey. moon taeil is a little more resolute and bold with his actions, not bothering to wait for the other who jogs a bit in order to catch up to the elder. just one more. your legs were starting to feel like jelly, the nude tights you wore felt stickier and stickier and the heels you donned hurt like hell. as the last car pulls into the driveway, you heave a sigh of relief.

the ruler of Seoul, Jung Jaehyun, an only child just like you. you’re taken aback by much more the paparazzi is paying attention to this prince, and you can’t help but feel a little bad for the others. Jaehyun is no different, grimacing internally at the amount of flashes that distract him from greeting you.

jaehyun takes a knee in front of you, taking your hand from below to plant a kiss on it before offering up his arm. being the last had its perks, having the opportunity to welcome you into your own palace, your own dining room. with a hesitant goodbye, your parents take the front seat while you hang with jung jaehyun at the back, the last bits of light fading out from the doormen closing the door on the prying cameras and incoming sun rays. small talk…

you’re surprised when the journey to the dining room is quiet, the other’s head held high in fear of saying one wrong thing. you can tell he feels stuffy in that suit of his, all dolled up in a three-piece that you feel even a corset would be better. light pours in yet again as the familiar maroon doors open the space to the grand dining room, where there were thirteen spaces already set-up.

the princess was to sit at the head of the table, with her mother on her left, and her nine suitors on either side of the table. the end of the table is reserved for the king, and just like a normal day in the palace, everyone stands at attention when the four finally enter, bowing just slightly. some exchange looks, other give curious glances to the prince you have beside you.

“uh… can we sit now?”

there’s a whack coming from the older brother of the Seo household to his younger sibling. thankfully, your father doesn’t mind formality all that much, gesturing down to allow them to take their sits as the waiters come out one by one with appetiser that just happens to be your favourite. the never-ending flurry of plates and utensils only makes you disoriented, the intricate filigree design of gold never looking so harsh to your eyes before.

“i thank you for coming all the way here, boys. i speak on behalf on my family that i hope you have a pleasant stay here in the (l/n) palace. now, i wish you a delicious lunch before we get to know everyone. isn’t that right, (y/n)?”

oh god… this was going to be a long ride, isn’t it?

[ragingbookdragon]

Even Though We May Be Hopeless Hearts Just Passing Through, I Was Made For Loving You PT. 1

Batsis x Kyle Rayner

Word Count: 2.1K Warnings: Explicit Language

Author's Note: I realize the other story didn't follow the whole, dating the brother's best friend trope, so I decided to remedy it. And what do you get when you cross a hopeless romantic with someone who's new to love? Perfection. That's what. Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Saturday mornings, in Dick’s opinion, were meant for sleeping in and quite possibly going to IHOP when everyone finally crawled out of bed at ten. They were not meant for being shoved in the side by a little brother.

“Golden-boy,” a voice grouched from beneath the bedside. “Your phone’s been going off for an hour. Either put it on silent or answer the goddamn thing.”

Dick let out a tired ‘pfft’, rolling onto his stomach, face buried in the side of the bed as he looked down to the floor. “Annoyed much, Little-wing?”

“I am going to shove that phone so far up your—”

Reaching over, Dick put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

Where are you?

“Still in bed,” he responded, sentence ending in a groan as he stretched. “Why?”

You were supposed to be on the flight back to Gotham two hours ago.

Dick’s eyes went wide, and he sat up, gaping at the bedside clock. “It’s today.”

It is today. I can’t believe you forgot it was today.

“Oh my God, it’s today and we missed our flight.” He stumbled out of the bed, barely registering the shout from Jason as his foot landed in his brother’s stomach. “Jason, get up! It’s today!’

“What’s today?” his little brother griped, rubbing his abdomen.

“(Y/N)’s coming back!”

Jason’s eyes went wide, and he scrambled to his feet, hurriedly finding his bag to change out of his nightclothes. “Christ, I can’t believe we forgot that (Y/N) was coming home today!” he looked at Dick. “This is your fault.”

“My fault?” Dick yelped. “How is this my fault!”

He scowled. “Big brother wanted everyone to be with a sibling for the night, so they’d be together and be punctual but you and I both know neither of us have any concept of time.” His scowl grew. “I knew I should’ve bunked with Cass. She’s on time no matter what happens.”

Dick threw Jason’s sweatshirt at him. “Dress now, bitch later.” He put the phone back to his ear. “We missed our flight, but we can drive there.”

Your car’s in the shop.

“Shit,” he hissed, spinning in a circle to help his brain circuit enough to think of something new. “Uh-uh-uh—”

“Kyle!” Jason shouted, pointing at him. “Kyle’s like thirty minutes away from Manhattan! We’ll go to him for a ride!”

Dick grinned. “We’ll find Kyle.”

You sure Kyle’s at home?

“Pfft, Kyle’s always home on the weekends. He’s lazy.”

Just get here. (Y/N)’s plane is going to land in less than four hours.

“We’ll be there,” he said. “Is Diana coming too?”

Of course. She is (Y/N)’s mother.

“Nice. Alright, see you in Gotham, Bruce.”

Love you boys. And be careful. I’ve already heard that Cass, Tim, and Steph got into a fender-bender with Damian and Duke.

Dick blinked. “They’re…they’re legitimately driving separate cars? How’d they hit each other?”

Don’t ask.

The line went dead, and Dick looked at his brother. “Ready?”

Jason nodded. “Already got an Uber to Kyle’s place.”

“We could always just Uber to Gotham?” he offered, and Jason recoiled with a shocked look.

“And pay a ridiculous amount of money instead of just paying Kyle’s gas? Fuck no, big brother.” He shoved his wallet and keys into his pockets. “C’mon!” he chirped, rather excitedly. “Our baby sister’s coming home!”

***

When he swung the door open to yell at whoever was pounding on it, he wasn’t expecting to see two of his best friends grinning like idiots. “Wha—”

He’d barely gotten a word out when Jason shoved a bag of fast food in his hands. “Get dressed. You’ve gotta drive us to Gotham City.”

Kyle blinked, glancing down at the bag before looking at Dick. “Why?”

“Our sister’s coming home, and we overslept and missed out flight outta here.”

“And you came to me…why?” he asked.

“Because you have the functioning car.” Jason retorted, antsy on his feet. “C’mon Kyle. We have to hurry! (Y/N)’s coming home!”

Figuring it was better to agree than to argue, Kyle relented, handing back the bag of food before he disappeared into his apartment, reappearing moments later, dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans, a graphic tee, and his usual slim casual jacket. He took the bag back and started digging around in it.

“Who’s (Y/N)?” he inquired, biting into a breakfast burrito as he locked his front door behind him.

“Our baby sister.” Jason said.

“I thought Cass was your baby sister?”

Dick nodded, getting out his own breakfast from the bag. “She is. But (Y/N)’s like…the OG baby sister.”

Kyle blinked, glancing over at him as he pushed the elevator button. “That makes no sense.”

“He means that (Y/N) was around before Cass was.”

“And she isn’t with you guys why?”

“She’s been on Themyscira for the last few years training with her grandmother and the other Amazons.” Jason answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world, stepping onto the elevator.

Kyle merely stared at the two brothers who were looking back at him; he felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. “Wait, your sister’s an Amazon?”

“Yep.”

“Who’s her mom?” he asked, stepping between them.

“Wonder Woman.” Dick said.

Strike two. “Who’s her dad?”

“Batman.” Jason responded.

Believe it or not, Kyle went three for three punches to the gut. “Bruce and Diana had a kid together?”

“Yeah.” Dick murmured. “I think it’s also why B’s so insistent against inter-team-relations.” He nudged Jason behind Kyle. “First time he attempts dating a coworker he ends up with a baby.”

Jason snorted. “And all those lessons about, ‘Children, whatever you do, don’t date anyone on your team. It’ll only lead to babies and limited visitation’.” He laughed again, then he frowned. “I don’t think any of us have followed that lesson.”

Dick opened his mouth to make an excuse but all that came out was a pitiful, deflate of air followed by, “That’s actually a good point.”

The elevator dinged and they watched the doors open before walking out towards the parking garage. They climbed into Kyle’s car, Jason in the front because his legs were longer than Dick’s, and Dick was a contortionist anyways so if anyone deserved to have their knees in their chest, it was him.

Halfway through the drive Kyle asked, “You guys are paying for my gas, aren’t you?”

All he received was unsure responses and he merely sighed.

***

He figured he should’ve just dropped Jason and Dick off at the airport in Gotham and drove home, but he couldn’t help but want to see just what the daughter of Wonder Woman and Batman looked like. He imagined a little girl dressed in a Batman suit three sizes too big and wielding a sword and a lasso way too heavy for her. It made him smile, the way that the two brothers gushed about (Y/N). From their praise, she was their world. Kyle had to see her though, because nothing was going to satiate that curiosity of seeing the big Batman’s daughter.

He watched Dick and Jason crane their necks like birds as they looked around. And honestly, the family shouldn’t have been that hard to find considering that every time Kyle was around the entirety of the Batfamily, they were like psychos on steroids—he very much so understood why the entirety of Gotham’s villains became flighty when every member of the Batfamily was out patrolling.

Kyle wasn’t expecting a voice to crack over the airport, loud and bubbly. “Brothers!”

All three of them stopped, even him who wasn’t even a sibling, looking over towards the call and Kyle’s jaw dropped as a young woman sprinted over to Dick and Jason, slamming into them with the weight of a train. The three of them collapsed into a pile on the floor, but they were laughing so Kyle assumed the siblings were alright.

“Princess!”

“Baby girl!”

“Oh, I am so glad to see you both!” she exclaimed. “I have waited so long to come home!” she was on her feet in moments, pulling them to theirs as if they weighed nothing. And Kyle knew Jason weighed a lot—he’d been crushed under his best friend before in fights.

Suddenly, she stopped and looked over at Kyle who immediately felt his heart lurch under her sharp gaze. “Who is this you have brought?”

Jason gestured to him. “(Y/N) this is Kyle. He’s a friend of Dick and mine. Kyle, this is our little sister, (Y/N).”

She huffed laugh. “I am not little, Jason. I am twenty-one.” Reaching out, she immediately pulled Kyle in for a hug, squeezing him tightly. “It is good to meet you, Kyle.”

“You too,” he murmured, feeling his cheeks warm as she pulled away and placed her hands on his shoulders.

“Any friend of my brothers is a friend of mine.” (Y/N) smiled. “Are you a superhero as well?”

He couldn’t help but toss a quick glance towards Jason who nodded. “Uh, yeah. I’m a Green Lantern.”

(Y/N)’s eyes widened in wonder, and she let go of his shoulders in favor of grabbing at his hands until she found his ring. She stared at it, murmuring quiet, ‘ooo’s and ah’s’. “That is simply amazing!” she chirped, looking at him, and then she silently gasped, raising his hand near his eyes. “Oh…your eyes are almost the same color as your ring.”

Her smile made Kyle’s heart beat a little faster as she expressed, “They are beautiful.”

They gazed at each other, too captivated in the moment to understand that the family had gathered around them by then. Someone’s hand curled around (Y/N)’s wrist and she looked over seeing Dick tugging her hand away.

“C’mon Princess, let’s go get your things on the belt.”

She smiled and followed, giving a small wave to Kyle, who returned hers shakily whilst grinning like a dope.

Someone elbowed him in the ribs, and he gasped, holding his side as Jason muttered, “Don’t ever stare at my sister like that again.”

Kyle blinked, glancing at him. “What’re you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, you goddamn skirt-chaser.”

“I didn’t do anything!” Kyle spluttered.

“You’re thinking about it.” Jason warned, pointing a finger in his face. “Make a move on (Y/N) and I’ll kill you with your own ring.” Kyle recoiled just as she and Dick were coming back, both holding a suitcase.

“Father!” she called, glancing at Bruce. “Dick and I have retrieved my luggage.”

He smiled at her. “Let’s go put it in the SUV then.” He paused, looking over the large group. He and Diana had ridden together, and since his children had fender-benders, they’d picked up Cass, Tim, Stephanie, Duke, and Damian; there wasn’t room for (Y/N) too.

“Father? Is something the matter?” (Y/N) was staring at him with concern.

“There’s not enough room in the SUV for you too. Maybe we—”

“There’s room in my car for (Y/N)!” Kyle blurted out, smiling nervously at Bruce. “I can follow behind you.”

Before anyone could screech ‘NO!’, mainly Dick and Jason, (Y/N) lit up like the morning sun. “Oh, that is a wonderful idea!” she grabbed onto Diana’s arm. “We should all stop for ice-cream though! Mother, what do you say?”

She smiled at her and leaned over, kissing her head. “I say that sounds like a fantastic idea, daughter.”

Kyle grinned and held out his arm for (Y/N), her giggling as she took it. “You know, I don’t live in Gotham, (Y/N), but I do know a good gelato store around the area.”

“What is gelato?” she asked, and he groaned.

“Oh, I can’t believe you don’t know what that is.” He started off, pilling her along, leaving everyone behind. “Don’t worry, I’ll show you.”

Jason’s face pinched and he looked over at Bruce. “Can I break the no-kill rule just once?”

Bruce blinked, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched his daughter laughing along with Kyle, both looking like newlyweds already. “Believe it or not, I’m strongly considering it.”

“Bruce.” Diana admonished. “Let (Y/N) and Kyle become friends. You know she doesn’t have many outside this family here.”

Dick growled. “Except Kyle doesn’t want to be friends with (Y/N), Diana. He wants to be her boyfriend.”

“They just met though?”

“Yeah, and Kyle’s a propose on week two type of man,” Jason griped. “Jesus Christ, this is going to be a disaster.”

“I don’t know about you guys, but (Y/N) and Kyle said gelato and you guys are just standing here.” Tim said. “Can we go now?”

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

call out my name

summary: y/n overhears jj confessing to spencer that she’s always loved him (do i even need to explain further how this made my heart drop into my ass)

word count: 3,118                                                                                     reading time aprox: 12 mins

masterlist

The blood ran cold in my veins, making my arms shiver. My face paled an ugly rouge as the words left JJ’s supple lips; each phrase that strung out from her confession wrenched a small piece of my heart each time. It felt like a laceration to my throat, like my oxygen supply had been severed and I was unable to catch my breath.

I love you.

I have always loved you.

My lifeless eyes never tore away from the monitor that laid in front of me. In crystal clear pixels, there lay Spencer and JJ tied up in a convenience store with the unsub and two hostages. My body was visibly tense and my lips parted in bewilderment; the physiological and mental tether that dictated my reactions delayed.

I hadn’t even noticed Penelope gaping at me with doleful eyes, turning off her intercom so the rest of the team was unable to listen in. Although the same idea must have run through their heads as they swapped disconcerted looks at each other.

“Oh - my sweet Y/N - I don’t, do you want - oh -” Penelope stuttered empathetically, pushing herself off of her chair to gather an array of toys to comfort me. “I can - oh you can borrow my purple giraffe, that always makes me hap-” She continued, pushing the plushies into my chest.

“No, no I’m - Garcia I’m okay - thank you...tho” I reassured, gently guiding her back to her seat, despite her pitiful protests. Before she had the chance to argue against my reassurance, her attention was captured by Tara’s voice on the intercom.

“Hey Garcia can you check the satellite feed and see if there’s a side door to the building?” Tara requested. Although her tone was apprehensive and tame like she was tiptoeing around the question.

“Affirmative” Garcia replied enthusiastically, reaching a gentle hand over to where my hands laid on her shoulders. She ran her delicate fingers over my knuckles in a way to say a silent ‘it’s going to be okay’, leaning her head back against my stomach with a tenderness in her gestures.

“And - uh - Y/N? Are you okay?” Tara tentatively asked, in which Garcia proceeded to look into my somber eyes with an expectant gaze. As I saw her through my peripherals, I knew that she could sense my true feelings about the situation. Her eyebrows softened and her red painted lips dropped into a pout. She tilted her head cutely in an attempt to grasp my attention, but I knew the second I locked eyes with her, my facade would eventually dissipate. With the persistence to direct my eyes away from her incessant gaze, she knew.

Before I had the opportunity to reply to Tara, Penelope had beat me to it. “Y/N! She uh - she’s in the bathroom...right now” She explained, mustering up the calmness in her voice to sound convincing. Fortunately enough, the case had been the focal point of the unit for the past week that Tara hadn’t noticed the panicked wince that left Penelope’s lips.

“Garcia just-” Tara sighed, making Penelope’s chest tense up and soften simultaneously. “Just make sure she’s doing fine. Did she hear what JJ said?” She spoke with a sense of concern laced in her sentences, hoping that I was unbeknownst to JJ’s profession.

“Uh-” Garcia paused, looking to me for an answer with wide eyes. I shook my head in denial, not wanting the team to know of my knowledge. As much as I valued our team being a family, I knew I would receive burdened looks and multiple ‘nonchalant check-ups’ from Rossi. I didn’t want the word ‘victim’ painted on my forehead. “-No, she left the room before JJ said anything” Garcia affirmed, nodding her head yes, regardless of her unable to be seen.

“That’s good. Listen I’ll call you back when we get on the jet and keep an eye on Y/-”

“Oh! Y/N’s coming back - see you guys later” Penelope rushed, ending the call instantly before Tara could get out another word.

She swiveled in her chair, facing me once again. She took my hands in hers, standing up to pull me into her tight embrace. I relaxed in her touch, letting all the feelings melt away with every soothing word that permeated the room. Pulling away, she took surveillance of my state and furrowed her eyebrows in worry.

But it wasn’t my poignancy that sparked her perplexity, it was the lack thereof.

My cheeks should’ve been stained by an onset of tears, but it wasn’t. My eyes should’ve masked a similar pearl glaze that coated the film on Penelope’s eyes, but it didn’t. I should’ve been disheveled and overrun by overbearing anguish, but I wasn’t.

-

The numbers on the elevator rose expediently, indicating the arrival of the team. My hands shook in disquiet and suspense, my focus glued to my shoes as I felt my entire body get antsy. Penelope stood in front of me whispering a mellow encouragement, suggesting alleviating mantras that usually worked to calm her down.

Without another word said, the doors to the elevator dinged and revealed exhausted, yet relieved, adults. Although in the midst of it all, there was a heavy air of reluctance that surrounded the reunion, despite the gleeful interactions that were expressed through Penelope’s endearments.

I reveled in the sight of it all, feeling my heart swell at the inspiriting display of affection made by the team; a feeling that is often uncommon with our careers. I stood with my shoulders slumped, hands folded in my pockets, and at a distance from their reconciliation. It was only until I met the eyes of Spencer that my entire body flinched; and it was when I hadn’t met JJ’s gaze as she stared at the floor, when my heart fell flaccid at the bottom of my stomach.  

I approached Spencer with a fictitious content expression, not wanting to confront the issue at bay. I noticed his facial features contort from uneasiness to relief as he reciprocated the reassuring smile I wore for him. He took this as his cue to take hurried strides towards me to encase me with his arms in a bone crushing hug. For a split second I wanted to believe the fervor that swelled inside me while I surrendered in his embrace, but the wandering eyes of JJ had convinced me otherwise.

Spencer cupped both of my cheeks in his course hands, enthusiastically pulling me in for a long awaited kiss. But by instinct I yanked my face away from his hands forcefully, catching him and myself by surprise.

“I - um, sorry. I was having sushi with Garcia earlier and I don’t think you want to smell tuna breath” I joked, wiping Spencer’s touch off of my hands.

“Don’t be silly Y/N I haven’t seen you i-” Spencer persisted, reaching out to handle my wrists.

“Wait Spence - Spencer - um Spencer, I forgot to mention that Diana called earlier to check on you” I interjected, a guilty gut feeling resurfacing as I used his mother as a cheap excuse to divert the conversation. “Oh well, I was actually planning to visit her soon and I was going to ask you if you want to come wi-”

“I- I don’t know Spencer” I laughed, keeping up the phony disguise that I hoped was effective enough to bypass the room of profilers. “I just have a lot of paperwork” I justified, feeling myself shrink under his incessant scrutiny. His lips curled into a small pout and his eyes dulled for a moment. I stiffened in response, paranoid that he had discovered a chink in my armor. “Next time?” I offered, compensating for the lack of ardor in my decisions.

Despite my attempts at assuring him, his expression was still left to alter. By now the formalities between the team had ended, resorting to directing their attention to me and Spencer. Backing away from where Spencer stood, I met the wondering gazes of my peers. I gave a cordial nod to all of them, ignoring the obvious trepidation that was evident in their body language.

Receiving a final look from Penelope, I walked back to my desk, letting them plan their festivities without me.

-

A few weeks flew by since the incident. Despite the passage of time, the latter of the situation still sat heavy in my thoughts, consuming every waking moment I had.

The bags under my eyes became more prominent, the youthful glow on my cheeks had dimmed, and my voice diminished to a low mutter. The input I had contributed to cases followed the change in my demeanor, exponentially depreciating as the numbness increased.

Whenever I sat on my chair, my eyes would linger between Spencer’s desk that sat across JJ’s. At times the sight would invoke a bubbling envy that felt too visceral for me to experience, so I would set my emotions to the side; averting my effort into my paperwork.

Eventually as the cases became more gruesome and my mental paralysis ensued, I gradually reverted to writing up the paperwork instead of participating in active cases. Unfortunately the unanticipated change in my behavior hadn’t gone unnoticed.

Emily called me into her office with a sense of urgency, and we’re both now here sitting across at a distance while she stared at me with a motherly look. Concentration was etched in her facial features, folding her hands together as she tried to dissect the impenetrable expression I wore.

“Emily please don’t profile me” I sighed, a tired grimace playing on my lips. Her shoulders slumped in defeat, leaning back into her chair as she continued to observe me. “I’m just worried Y/N - WE are all worried” She lamented, reaching over to grasp my hand. “You haven’t been yourself in a while Y/N. Did - is something, did something happen? Did you...find anything that made you upset?” She pursued, tiptoeing around the idea of JJ’s confession.

“NO! I, um - I haven’t - I just” I struggled to form coherent sentences, feeling panic flood through my system. “Look Emily, I appreciate the concern, but I’m just not feeling okay and I really don’t want to talk about it” I admitted. “I- I know it’s a lot, but w- would it be okay if I take a couple of personal days - I just can’t seem to figure myself out” I muttered, letting a fragment of my feelings slip into my profession.

“Take as many days as you’d like - and give me a call when things are...handled - just know that if you need anything - and I mean anything - you ca-”

“Thank you Emily” I nodded, cutting her off abruptly. I stood up from my seat with my head hanging low, giving her a tight lipped smile as I made my way to exit her office.

“Y/N!” She called out, stopping me in my tracks. I titled my head to the side, glancing at her. “Take care of yourself...please?” She desperately pleaded, her words laced with genuine concern.

For the first time, my heart ached at her words. The bitter feeling trickling into reality as the sorrowful eyes she beamed at me penetrated through my skin. It was then that I realized that the armor I wore to shield me from Spencer was really to shelter me from myself.

-

Spencer’s POV

My back slumped into the office chair while I played with the Doctor Who knick-knacks that Garcia had gifted to me at a Christmas party. My eyes were focused on the toy, but my mind had astral projected to another place: a place that wasn’t pleasant. The thoughts that were weighing heavy on shoulders had taken its toll on my arms, legs, and body like I was slowly being pulled away from reality into a dimension of isolation.

Although the only feeling I was allowed to experience was this nagging sensation in the back of my head, a thought that permeated my headspace, but wasn’t allowed to be identified or understood. I thought it was the aftermath of JJ’s confession, but that was handled during Rossi’s wedding.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t know.

I didn’t know what had been circling in my head and I didn’t know how to control it. All I knew is that Y/N had taken a few sick days and that Emily had informed me that she hadn’t heard of JJ’s confession. But those days turned into weeks until a month had passed.

In the beginning of her leave, I’d call her everyday and occasionally visit her apartment whenever we were on a case, she would even call in to check on everybody. But like how the seasons change and the leaves start to decay, her efforts soon became stagnant. Soon after, my calls would be left unanswered, my visits to her apartment ceased due to no one responding, and she would only answer to Garcia.

I missed the way she would waltz into the office with the brightest grin she can offer and every time I’d look into her eyes, it felt like I had a glimpse into what heaven is. I missed the way she would curl up into my arms and breath in my scent, while we shared a book. I missed the way she’d bring the most wonderful orchestra to the moments where I felt my world become overrun by deafening silence. She had done nothing but bring love and devotion into everything she does.

So what dimmed the spark that usually burned interminably in her?

I set the trinket down to the side, taking a needed breath as my eyes were caught by a small picture frame that was delicately placed at the corner of my desk. An elated smile replaced the tired grimace I had been sporting all week, a newfound warmth filling my chest up with a familiar radiance.

It was a picture of Y/N when me and her had visited Central Park to ice skate. In the image she was in mid air, her eyes were shimmering against the snow that fell around us and she was laughing, a melody that I can still hear just by looking at a reminiscence of her. She was and still is the epitome of beauty.

I was taken out of my thoughts when a frantic Penelope zoomed through the bullpen with an unnerved look. She was caught in the arms of Emily, stopping her in her tracks and encouraging her to breathe. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and her hair was disheveled.

“I - I, oh my god - I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry - I w- wasn’t, it’s my fault - I wasn’t honest” She sputtered out, her hands shaking beside her as she tried to form proper sentences.

By this time the team had surrounded her as they witnessed her frenzy. I watched from afar as JJ and Tara came to Penelope’s side, consoling her. Luke and Matt joined me, watching the event unfold from a distance like I did.

“Is- is she okay? Did something happen?” Luke inquired, his words laced with panic and worry. I shook my head looking to Matt if he had any intel, but he also denied it. “Okay, I’m gonna go and see what’s-” Luke began, before getting cut off by Emily announcing an emergency meeting.

We all gathered around the round table, anticipation engulfing the air and each one of our faces. Penelope sported a perturbed expression while Emily stood behind her with a similar troubled look.

I folded my hands on the table while my legs had gotten antsy from the silence as everyone filed into the room. Finally when everyone was seated, Luke was the first one to break the quietude. “Is everything okay Penelope?” He asked.

It didn’t take a profiler to notice how Emily’s behavior shifted when Alvez spoke. Her shoulders had flinched, her breath had shortened, and her hands had risen up to Penelope’s shoulder in an attempt to encourage her to elaborate. These were the indications that usually meant an onslaught of bad occurrences, but I only had understood Penelope’s concern when Y/N’s name had surpassed her lips.

“What - What do you - What do you mean Y/N?” I blurted out, feeling my heart drop into my stomach. My hands traveled to the pockets of my blazer, feeling sweat begin to accumulate in my palms. My breath hitched at the mention of her, hoping and praying that she was alright.

All the attention had been directed to me, but at the moment I would have cared less if Newton or Pascal was staring at me. It was as if my heart and my mind were tethered together to create a perfect storm that could obliterate me. I searched Penelope’s eyes for direct answers, but she refused to meet my gaze.

“Garcia!” I instinctively called out, making her flinch in terror, which I ultimately regretted as she was already in such a distressed state. “I- I’m sorry. Penelope...what’s happening with Y/N?” I whispered, softening the tone of my voice, cautious of letting my voice crack knowing that the team would dissect my reaction.

She sighed, looking to Emily for help in which Emily nodded at her to continue. “She knows” Penelope admitted, lifting her eyes to finally meet mine. “Sh- she heard what JJ said, and now she’s n- not even talking to me” She sighed, her breath hitching between every phrase she enunciated.

I felt my body freeze, but I didn’t know if it was either in fear, anger, or disappointment in myself. My emotions had become a cluster of hell that would continue to haunt me until I figured things out; until I could fix things with Y/N.

I sensed the apologetic glances I received from JJ, but despite my acknowledgement of her intentions, the festering indignation I was feeling against her had jaded any compassion I had.

“Spence-” JJ apprehensively spoke with a motherly tone.

“Don’t! I-”

My eyes were glued to the table, blocking out any attempt that the team made to pursue a conversation with me. My hands fidgeted as I racked my brain for a concise solution, although the process wasn’t as easy as I’d like since my conscious had been enveloping itself with self reproach. But in the end, I knew where I wanted to be - where I was meant to be.

Without a second thought, I promptly stood up from the chair and fled the bullpen with no attention to how JJ was calling out my name.

part 2

-

taglist: @rexorangecouny @howdycharlie

part 2 coming out tmrw or the day after that

see you soon <3

[leviiattacks]

Lmao Levi being irritated because reader, his roomate, who he still hasn't confessed to yet, gets a cat.

The cat hates Levi but loves reader and reader loves the cat too and it's basically Levi vs the cat someone help

note :: very rushed and not proofread i only wrote for fun because once again i am bed ridden with sickness ha ha the perks of always being sick i suppose T__T

lord, does levi despise the way you act without thinking sometimes

he’s legitimately appalled at how you can manage to always do shit like this

even more appalled at how he lets you get away with it every time

now, what is the shit you have done this time?

brought a cat home a CAT

first things first, you are allergic to cats so he does not understand how that predicament will fix itself

secondly, cats shed EVERYWHERE

as much as he enjoys cleaning he is not going to clean that up every day

thirdly, cats will ruin furniture and claw at it

as well as the curtains!!!!

and levi loves the curtains in the living room because the both of you picked them out together

though it was a struggle to get you interested enough to pick a pair you liked.

maybe that’s why he’s looking at you irked by this all

you’re holding the kitten in your arms playing around with her

“peek... a... boo!”

playing fucking peek-a-boo with a cat? he questions himself in his head

“y/n. we are not keeping the cat.”

at this you innocently look up at him through your lashes

god, there you go again doing that

he doesn’t know if you’re aware of the impact you have on him when you do that

he’s good at holding his composure but that look ignites something in him

but he always has to push that something down his throat

“c’mon, you’d be the best roomie ever if you let me keep her!”

his eyes narrow at the word roomie

is that all he is to you?? a roomie???

you’re holding the cat up alongside your face and are fake pouting

“you. are. allergic. to. cats.” he punctuates every word clearly

“how do you know that?” you ask reasonably shocked he knows something that obscure and random about you

“you like talking about yourself when you’re drunk.”

a memory of him helping you throw up whilst he carefully holds your hair out of your face flashes past

if it were anyone else he wouldn’t have got anywhere near them if they were throwing up

but it was you,

it was always you.

“you rambled on and on and on about wanting a cat as a kid but not getting one because of your allergies.”

“so you would also know-” the cat tries to scratch your arm and you retract giggling

“that i really want a cat!”

“does that change your allergies? poof oh wow y/n you’re no longer allergic to shitty cats because you want one.”

you roll your eyes at his deadpan expression and pessimism

“if you knew anything about cats you would know this is a cornish rex” you now rebuttal

“a fucking what?”

“hypoallergenic cat breed! my allergies to cats are mild so it’s the perfect cat for me”

the crease between his eyebrow deepens.

“do you forget that we live in this apartment together?”

you scrunch your nose looking at your little buddy who has now settled in your lap “how could i forget that?”

he knows you see him as nothing more than a roommate

levi loves you he does but you don’t know that

but part of him thinks you do because you always give him that look when you want something

you’re doing it again.

the look.

“fuck. fine but if that thing coughs up a hair ball she’s out.”

“AAAHH THANK YOU I LOVE YOU LEVI!!!!” you’re ecstatic

his breath traps itself in his throat when he hears that

how can you carelessly say i love you??

you’re happily looking between him and the cat and hand her over to levi

“hold her you’re the dad”

“so you’re the...?” he asks

“i’m the...???” you’re clueless

he shakes his head waving it off

it takes you a moment to understand what he’s asking then your eyes widen

“ohhh the mum? yeah that would be me”

it’s so stupid, so stupid, so so so stupid he repeats it in his head the whole scenario is stupid

but it doesn't stop him from smiling like an idiot

in recent days you’ve given her the names diana, garfield and casper

sadly, none of then seem to stick because you’re too indecisive

it’s got to the point where you barge into levi’s room without asking

you’re in your pyjamas he looks at you confused as to why you’ve walked in with no permission at 2am

in a cucumber face mask...?

“name the cat please, name the cat i can’t stick to a name i’m going to rip my hair out“ you’re gripping at your hair groaning in frustration.

“edgar’

first suggestion, too ugly.

you shake your head

“candy“

second suggestion, no, just no.

you shake your head again in refusal

“zero?“

yeah, no.

another shake of the head

levi ponders and thinks hard “...angel?’

you blush, jump back and look more than startled

fumbling with your fingers awkwardly you edge closer towards the door

he just eyes you weirdly wondering what causes that reaction

well, you must like the name

“is it good enough?” he asks

you’re speechless not knowing what to actually say

“y/n...????”

you snap out of it

“isn’t that something you’d call a significant other not a cat?”

and for once in your life you actually seem kinda annoyed at him

“your cat is an angel in your eyes that’s the point” he’s explaining his point but you aren’t listening

you don’t know why levi saying that word makes your heart race

that’s why you’re annoyed right now

in fact it’s not that you’re annoyed. you’re scared that it triggers this response because this is levi.

levi, your roommate the same roommate who argues about pizza toppings with you. he’s nothing more than that.

but your cheeks continue to flush behind the cucumber face mask

“i’ll ask someone else what to name him just call him salad for now” without letting him get a word in you leave but somehow you forget the cat

salad turns to levi and gives him what can only be described as a menacing look.

“you happy you annoying shit? y/n’s annoyed because i can’t name you”

your cat jumps at him and tries to scratch at a piece of flesh but is held off easily

one cold look from levi and she stops.

“get out my room you pest.” he says as he places the cat on the floor

salad scurries away and levi rolls his eyes

he hates that cat he really does

a few hours pass levi is still up he’s always found it hard to sleep

it’s been a long day he’s just finished a thesis for his physics degree and stretches out contently

to say he’s tired is an understatement but his throat is dry and he needs to DESPERATELY hydrate

he gets to his feet and ventures into the kitchen to retrieve some water then he’ll knock out like a log and fall asleep.

the pitch of your snoring can be heard and he smiles to himself silently.

it’s all good, he’s sure you’re getting all the sleep you need.

“GRRRE”

there it is,

the little fucker, your cat is still up.

“what is it little shit?” levi asks leaned up against the surface of the counter.

salad is only staring at him blankly before turning to look over at the living room.

it’s dim the lights are switched off but levi feels something is feels off

“the hell did you do?” he asks

but salad shows no signs of breaking and revealing what it is she’s done

levi’s going to have to investigate

stepping towards the living room he flicks the lights open.

eyes survey the entire area everything looks good until he sees the way the drapes have been ripped apart

salad is picked up in one swoop she sees how levi is about to throw her out the front door and panics

meowing and struggling just in the nick of time she jumps before running away and slipping into the safety of your bedroom

groaning levi goes back to the living room to see if he’s missed anything.

well, god damn him.

scratches litter the leather furniture, it almost looks like a crossword.

salad has also conveniently taken a shit behind the sofa,

and to top it all off she’s left a dead mouse in the middle of the living room floor

levi. is. infuriated.

“you should thank her for catching the mouse”

you’re hurriedly eating some toast levi has made for you as you brush your hair out and gather it into a low ponytail

“look at the drapes y/n??” he’s exasperated and trying to make sense of your logic

“i didn’t like the drapes anyway we needed new ones.”

you aren’t taking this seriously at all and it’s getting on his nerves now

he runs a hand through his hair and glares at you “i told you taking the cat in was a bad idea”

your hair tie snaps and so do you

all the doubts from yesterday are eating you away. the question still lingers in your mind - how do you really feel about levi?

“do you have to have an opinion on everything i do? you’re my roommate not my boyfriend.”

it’s your fault for letting your anger and stress get the better of you. to be frank you have no clue why you’ve gone and said that.

if you’re honest with yourself you know he’s not a roommate. he’s not a friend either but at the same time he’s definitely not a boyfriend.

he’s more than a friend to you but you don’t think he sees you similarly.

oh how wrong you are

“roommate?”

levi’s question is filled with not an ounce of humour, the both of you know that.

oddly, he sounds displeased,

but you can’t take it back now.

and you hate backing down

“what?” you scoff

he shakes his head and makes his way to the front door not turning to look at you.

“get a grip on that cat otherwise i’m throwing it out”

SLAM!

you’ve done it, you’ve messed it up.

salad jumps up on the counter and licks your toast

maybe, he is right about the cat.

the rest of the week is incredibly busy you have an important economics presentation due today and you’ve done everything you need to prepare for it.

at least that’s what you think,

you’re stood in front of the class introducing yourself and everything seems to be going smoothly

price determination within the economic market might as well be advertised as a sleeping pill because you don’t know how you can get anyone interested enough to keep their eyes open.

but putting your best foot forward an attempt is still made.

“the buyers and sellers accept this price, and buy and sell accordin-”

you’re abruptly cut off by your professor who coughs and then proceeds to leer at you in disgust.

a few moments of silence pass and you can feel your heart hammer in your chest.

suddenly he points at the door,

he’s known for being harsh, strict and a stingy marker but it’s not as if you’ve shown up with nothing done...?

in fact this is the largest amount of effort you’ve put into your economics course since you’ve started it.

being in your usual seasonal slump has held you back but now you’re actually trying he’s saying it’s not good enough?

“your presentation. it’s awful. not enough effort put into it, leave for today.” his voice is rumbling and intimidating.

you’re stunned, you’ve worked tirelessly day and night to finish this off.

you’ve even had to cry over not knowing or understanding how to make pie charts.

interpreting data has never been your strong suit.

too embarrassed to ask for help you had to spend hours figuring out how to make it all work alongside your excel chart and spreadsheet

sighing heavily you speak up “professor i’ve spent a lot of time on this?”

“i looked through the slides. dog shit.” his response is fiery and you shudder at the boiling frustration he’s shooting right at you.

arguing in front of the lecture hall is not what you wish to do and you’re sure you aren’t going to be the only person sent out this way.

just retreat y/n 

you do.

the professor is clearly in a bad mood and taking it out on you, there’s nothing you can do about it.

wordlessly you gather your belongings and leave.

as you trudge back home the feeling of not being good enough sinks in your stomach like a heavy anchor at sea.

entering through the front door is a task and a half through your glossed over eyes but somehow you manage

you’ve kept salad in your room for most of the time after your argument and she seems to actually miss levi’s presence.

so when the first thing you see as soon as you enter is salad clawing at his bedroom door begging to be let in you aren’t surprised.

thankfully for you he’s yet to return from class and hasn’t been disturbed by the sounds.

at least that’s what you assume.

you look at salad and start sobbing

you wish you were a cat.

cats don’t get shit on for fucking up economics presentations that’s for sure.

shaking you try to hold yourself up against one of the walls

frankly, school stress is getting to you.

you tried hard on that presentation only for it to fail when it was worth a quarter of your grade.

A QUARTER...

TWENTY FIVE PERCENT...

salad nuzzles herself against your leg and you lean over to pick her up

she licks at your ear, it tickles and you laugh in between sobs

“you sure are good at comforting people huh?” you’re so worn out your laugh sounds half dead.

it’s all so pathetic. you standing in your living room wailing as you hold your pet cat like a baby.

but she doesn’t mind and let’s you cry to your hearts content.

“MEOW” salad loudly squeaks and you stroke her back but she only keeps at it “MEOWWWW.”

sensing that she’s bringing something to your attention you turn around

there stands levi awkwardly waving at you and you instinctually cover your face with your arm.

the smudged mascara is none of his business.

“wanna order pizza and talk about it?”

pursing your lips at the proposition you slowly lower your arm and scratch at the sleeve of your shirt.

"yeah, i’d love that.”

“KICKED YOU OUT THE LECTURE HALL?? YOU WORKED ON THAT FOR DAYS Y/N, DAYS??”

levi is beyond pissed he hasn’t even touched the second slice of his pizza after hearing how your presentation played out.

“it’s okay, it was probably going to go bad i can’t do anything right.”

levi’s silver eyes fog up in annoyance and you shut yourself up.

“you are the most able person i have met.”

head rocking up in surprise the confession is news to you.

“really?“

“you’re great at making pad thai, somehow you convinced me to keep that cat, i remember that other time you convinced a first year to bungee jump off a building for last years charity fundraiser.”

it truly is endearing how he doesn’t call you smart or witty or hard-working. none of that basic nonsense you’ve heard time and time again from everyone else.

the fact he’s naming the most random things makes your heart swell.

you burst into laughter remembering the first year’s quivering form and you wonder why levi even remembers that.

“if salad bothers you that much i could find a friend to look after her.”

levi looks at you like he’s just come face to face with a ghost.

“no? i like her, she might frustrate me and get in the way when i want to-” he stops himself fumbling over his sentence.

“when you want to?“ you’re leaning in closer intrigued what the rest of the sentence is.

shock flashes over his face but the next second it disappears.

taking a gulp of his water seemingly in preparation he looks you right in the eye.

“when i want to kiss you.”

and that’s all it takes for you to tug him by the shirt and slam his lips against yours, you giggle into the kiss as you situate yourself in his lap. hands ghosting over your hips he’s disoriented not sure where to place his palms but you don’t care. you’ve been waiting for this and despite his sloppy response the fact you’re finally doing what you’ve been fearing the most these past few weeks is only filling you with adrenaline.

“settle down.” he’s panting heavy and ragged. “i was meant to initiate it and look cool what the fuck??” he’s not mad, he’s just playing with you but that doesn’t stop you from getting into the role.

“and if i don’t settle?” you mischievously ask, levi’s hands are cupping your jaw he pushes your hair out of your face and simply gazes in awe.

he makes you feel so beautiful, it’s unreal.

“meow...” salad’s dissatisfied whining can be heard and then out of nowhere in one fluid motion she jumps onto levi’s chest.

“salad if you don’t mind i’m trying to make out with your dad.” you explain with a frown.

she doesn’t budge and instead a trickling sound can be heard, then a foul smell floats into the room and levi screams.

“Y/N THE LITTLE SHIT IS PEEING ON ME???”

[critical-engine]

So, I made a thing and now it's going to be here for everyone cruising through.

1325 words, romance short story, Enjoy!

I tried to keep myself in check, but the way I almost kicked down the door was probably a giveaway. I heard her coming right behind me and refused to look at her, instead settling on one of the tables of the classroom. “So, you wanted to talk.” I noticed the venom on my tone, but it wasn’t the time to back down.

She sighed deep, talking at me from the door. “It’s about… Well, you know what’s about.” She sounded tired, almost dragging herself to talk. “It’s just that I’m sorry for how I treated you, Say.”

I felt my cheeks flush and my head heating, but from anger rather than the endearment from a couple days ago. “I thought it was Sasha, now.” I crossed my arms. “Or is that only in mixed company?”

I heard her shuffling in place, and I felt my anger rising. “That’s what I wanted to talk about.” My brain froze for a second. Was she listening to herself? “It’s just that I haven’t had a lot of time to think this through…” I felt my expression change, surprise taking over. She wasn’t about to say anything like that, right? “I didn’t even talk about any of this with the girls, let alone the rest… A-And I don’t think I’d like any r-rumors getting around, you know…?”

I looked at her straight in the face, dumbfounded. She immediately froze under my gaze, looking like she was about to run out of the classroom. Her hands were halfway to her head, holding her palms open to me. Her brow and face were sweaty, and her expression was completely neutral, a perfect nondescript mask. “Diana.” She almost jumped at her name. “You were the one that kissed me.”

At that the mask broke down, being replaced by as many conflicting elements as one face could hold. Her mouth curled up into a tiny smile, cheeks flushing, but her brow furrowed with concern, her hands clasped each other above her heart, but the air around her became heavy and tense.

I almost jumped up from my seat. “Weren’t you the one that started sweet-talking me into going here and there and where else for like the last couple of months?” I walked toward her slowly. “Didn’t you insist on taking me out again and again by ourselves, looking through stores and all that?” I stopped right in front of her. My pulse quickened and my confusion faded almost immediately. “Wasn’t it you that fed me compliments, pick-up lines and couldn’t stop looking at me?” I looked straight into her eyes, watching her warring expressions settling slowly into a relaxed gaze. My hand instinctively rose to her cheek. “And I’m pretty sure it was you who did this, no?” She closed her eyes gently, I could feel my heart pounding behind my ears as I leaned in, each second stretching out. “And then…”

The moment our lips touched, it was like a spell broke. The contact between us cut through the tension like it wasn’t there, suddenly the sweat in her face, my pounding heart, her nervousness, my anger, it all dissolved into a flutter in my heart and the soft caress between our lips. I tried to move an inch back, but she took a full step into the moment, wrapping her right arm behind my back. The kiss she gave back was much more ravenous, like she was sating a long hunger. Her lips parted once, twice, inexpertly searching for her fill. I gave myself up and opened my mouth, reaching with my tongue-

She squealed and jumped back, almost crashing against the door. Her face was completely flushed an unreal pink, with her face still lightly shining, her long hair a bit out of place with her jump, and her eyes holding a strange, layered look. On the surface, she watched me carefully, worried almost, like I had just crossed a line. Right under that, it was clear she was actually focusing on me in a complete daze, her mind either awash with emotions or on another planet. But under both of those, I thought they saw something they liked, something they had seen in different lights these past few days, and wanted to look under many more lights in the future. A playful, yearning look, worried it shouldn’t be in those eyes, in that face, looking out at me.

I felt a playful smile on my lips, maybe there since we parted. My breath was a bit uneven, much like hers. I took a breath, then spoke again, clasping my hands behind my back. “Was that you, Day?”

That took her out of her reverie, snapping her back into reality. She fumbled with her words for a moment, then sighed, almost groaning, and answered. “It was me, Say. I just…” She fidgeted in place uncomfortably, running both hands through her hair. “I need time to talk with everyone. For me.”

The teasing spirit left me completely. “Day, I get that.” I mulled the next words in my mind very carefully. “I only want to be there for you, to help you. And today you pushed me away so… pointedly.”

“I didn’t want to, I’m sorry.” Almost predicting a protest, she quickly added. “I know what I said, and did, but I thought you were… moving too fast?” Again, seeing me raising an eyebrow, she corrected. “You know I have no idea what to do or say for the others, or how they’ll react, like, they obviously accepted you when you came out, but maybe I’ll do something dumb? Or someone will change how they see me? Maybe-“

“Maybe you’re overthinking.” I crossed my arms again, taking the turn to speak. “You’re just inexperienced when it comes to this, like everyone is coming out. It’s a thing you only do once, after all.” A thought struck out. “Well, once for each person who you separately come out to, but the impact only happens a few times.” I shook my head, getting back before side-tracking. “Whatever, that’s what I want to be there to help with. The girls will be a great place to start, because they won’t say anything if they value their lives.” She let out a single chuckle. “Then you can see how you feel saying it out loud, saying it to different people. It’s easier once you jump into it, Day.”

Her face, still completely flushed, looked more embarrassed than anything, holding a different kind of tension. I grabbed her hands, feeling a light squeeze from her. I again leaned into her, moving my face closer and closer, then…

“You’ve got it, Day.” I whispered, inches away from her lips. I pulled back slowly, watching her face, eyes closed, brow slightly furrowed, lips barely, barely open. Her expression changed quickly into a more worried frown, lips closed, before peeking with one of her eyes.

I laughed a little and pulled back entirely. “You t-tease.” She barely got out, running a hand through her hair again, her pose stiff and off by a bit. After a breath, she was steadier. “I’ll tell you when I talk to Mary or Sara, yeah? I want to think of how to say it.”

I held back from telling her to just say lesbian once out loud right there, probably for the best in the moment. “If you need to, then fine. Just remember to talk to me if you need to.”

She quickly promised to do just that, and I promised not to tease her like that in general, keeping to myself that I might if she ended up liking it. We ended up walking back home together, but I couldn’t get out of my head that mystical moment when we kissed, how the rest of the world disappeared for a second, with just us, just that feeling remaining, just the taste of her lips and her desire for more.

[dramioneasks]

HP FESTS: DramioneFanfictionWriters (Part 4)

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Famous Shakespeare Lines, February 2021:

Short Life For A Daffodil by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Hermione and Draco have a wild daughter who likes to pull up daffodils and frustrate her parents, but the duo wouldn't be without their children.

Friends Dont by Lostinthenightrain - T, one-shot - "You don’t choose who you fall for!” “No, because I sure as hell wouldn’t be standing here now would I?” Hermione mourns the loss of a relationship.

The Malfoy Mistress by ThebeMoon - M, one-shot - Unable to bear the sight of Bellatrix carving into Hermione Granger at Malfoy Manor, Draco Malfoy whisks his hated former schoolmate to safety. He should have known better.

Rules of Engagement by Art3misiA - T, one-shot - Lucius just had to be difficult about the idea of Draco and Hermione getting married. Will Draco and Hermione allow him to throw his weight around, or will they bring him to heel?

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Popular 90's TV Shows, March 2021:

The Death of Theo Nott by Lostinthenightrain - T, one-shot - “Hermione.” Her head whipped up to see the broken expression in Draco’s eyes. “He wouldn’t kill himself.”

The Night of the Rats by rennaissance_woman - not rated, one-shot - What happens when a prank war goes too far?

Perfect Harmony by Talonwillow (TalonWillow) - T, one-shot -Professor Slughorn's star Potions pupil Hermione was tired of being the ugly duckling, so she created a potion that would transform her into a beautiful swan. Everyone seemed to like the shiny new version of her... Well, except for herself and maybe one other. Would Draco Malfoy convince her that what everyone else was seeing was what he saw every day, and would Hermione finally be able to live in Perfect Harmony?

Dramione Go Star Trekking by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Riker has made a pass at Hermione and she doesn't quite know how to deal with it.

Bloody Colonials by Maira - T, one-shot - Hermione Granger has had a long week, and the last thing she wants to do is leave the comfort of her home. But when her best friend asks for her help in dealing with a possible cursed object, what can she do but help? Brownies, Potion-making robe etiquette, and a cursed Nigerian mask all add up to a typical night at Hogwarts. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal challenge.

The Latest Teenage Drama by Art3misiA - T, one-shot - Teenagers. Gotta love em. Teenage dramas? Not so much. Draco and Hermione navigate the perils of unwanted teenage behaviour - 90s family sitcom style.

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Around the World, April 2021:

The Assignment by Art3misiA - G, one-shot - Hermione and Draco, Aurors, have been sent to Cape Town on a top secret assignment - to track down a former Death Eater.

Finding Them by KrysKrossZee - T, WIP - After not finding her parents in Austrailia, Hermione enlists Draco's help and the two make their way to Vancouver when they have a new lead.

DFW's Deal or No Deal: The Language of Flowers, May 2021:

Spilled Ink by Maira - M, one-shot - It's nearly Christmas, and things aren't great. Draco Malfoy is still on house arrest due to the Wizengamot being a bag of dicks. Hermione Granger is out of the country on a job, which means he won't see her for a few weeks. And to top it all off, Hermione has sent Draco a plant. A green, spiky plant, for no reason that he can fathom. Oh, and a spelled journal that he's now supposed to write in. Because nothing could possibly go wrong with that plan. Written for the DFW Deal or No Deal Challenge!

Forever by Art3misiA - M, one-shot - Though they may be gone, our memories of them remain forever.

The Little Things by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - When Hermione buys Draco a cup of coffee and leaves it on his desk, it throws Draco through a loop and he wonders what he should get her in exchange.

The Climbing Vine by rennaissance_woman - not rated, one-shot - After receiving some startling news, Draco runs out of the house. He receives some advice from a surprising source.

Changing of the Seasons by Lostinthenightrain - M, one-shot - Hermione & Draco find a local park and two unlikely faces to greet them.

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Draco's Birthday Soundtrack, June 2021:

Straight to the Heart by AdAsttra - T, one-shot - Draco's ready to tell Hermione how he feels, but Cupid has other ideas.

Stick Around by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Hermione doesn't know why Draco is the only one who makes her feel safe, but she is glad that she is able to get some reprieve from her brain.

Wild and Wired by Maira - M, one-shot - Need your lovin' here beside me, Need it close enough to guide me, I've been hopin' you would find me, You're the biggest part of me. - Hermione was expecting a fun night out with her boyfriend and her friends. She was not expecting ice cubes, sick ponies, and a serenade beautiful enough to melt her heart. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal challenge.

Let's Get Serious (Please, for the Love of Merlin!) by Art3misiA - G, one-shot - Draco wants to get serious, but Hermione isn't so sure. Will their opposing views make or break them?

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Magical Monsters, July 2021:

There's A Zouwu In My Basement by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - When a creature has broken into the Malfoy Manor dungeon, Draco has to call for help.

Miseria by crochetaway - T, one-shot - Hermione tames a Dementor.

Aegis by Maira - M, one-shot - Their world is in ruins, and their only protection against creatures wanting to kill them is about to fall. They make a plan to trek across the country to Hogwarts, where others have gathered to make a new home within the castle. There, they will be safe. One problem - before they go, there's a queen to kill. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal Challenge.

Fear & Desire by myladymay - T, one-shot - Draco Malfoy wants to change his life. He returns to Hogwarts for Eighth Year and finds himself confronted with both his biggest fear and greatest desire, all wrapped up in a Gryffindor tie.

Innocent Monsters by itscometothis - T, 12 chapters - Draco Malfoy thought he had reasonable expectations for his mandatory Eighth Year at Hogwarts, where he would be confined to the grounds as part of his probation. Isolation, hatred, and passing his NEWTs were really all he had in mind. What he wasn't anticipating: 1) Having a small firstie latch onto him like a bloody koala 2) Said firstie adopting an erkling as if they didn’t feed on children. To protect his little nuisance, he’ll have to seek help from uncomfortable places, including the Swottiest Witch of Her Age. Joy of all joys.

Transformed by Art3misiA - T, one-shot - Draco and Charlie have a dragon to catch, and time is running out. Meanwhile, Hermione is missing, adding to Draco's woes.

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Legendary Duos, August 2021:

Three's a crowd, four's trouble by AnnaRitaLi - M, WIP - p>My sister is right. My life did change that evening. I just don't think Rosalind meant for me to steal her boyfriend, or I don't think I stole him, Draco, not precisely. You cannot steal something that doesn't want to be whisked away. That's my experience, at least, and I've stolen quite a few things over the years. So I can say this with confidence. You can't lose something you never had. But you’ll have to read it in the book, dear. While the Crown doesn’t wish for me to speak out in public, I have been silent for too long. You see, There were three of us in this marriage. And people, the press, have assumed many things over the years about Draco and me. So this book, as you’ll see, it’s my attempt to set the record straight. Yes, there were three of us in this marriage, but there were also much more going on than that. -- This is the story the Crown never wanted to get out. In other words, I bring you the x-rated version of the book ‘Diana - her true story - in her own words’.’ It’s the Dramione as Charles & Diana AU you didn't know you needed.

The Marquess and the Kitchen Girl by Art3misiA - E, 8 chapters - Draco Malfoy is the son of the most powerful Duke in Wiltshire. One day, he will be the ruler of a large duchy. Hermione Granger lives happily with her parents - that is, until tragedy strikes. Two children will become friends, and gradually discover a forbidden love that seems as if it might one day defy the odds. Alas, this is a tale of doomed lovers.

In Her Arms by KrysKrossZee - M, one-shot - Draco's worked his way up through Voldemort's ranks but it would seem that all of his work has been for nothing when Dolohov captures a new prisoner.

The Happiness I Seek by Maira - M, one-shot - To those without a soulmate, the world is devoid of colour. They say that if you are lucky enough to meet your soulmate, everything changes. The world is brighter, food is richer, and you find a love you never knew you needed. Draco Malfoy has never been lucky. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal challenge.

darling! by itscometothis - M, one-shot - When Draco and Hermione are invited to help demonstrate a path forward for Wizarding Britain and its reconciliation, neither really feel like they can refuse - Hermione for moral reasons and Draco for practical ones (read: Azkaban sounds bad). But they have very different ideas on how to play up this fake relationship. Written for DFW's Deal or No Deal: Legendary Duos - Kermit and Ms. Piggy. It's as ridiculous as you expect.

A Thousand Ships by floorcoaster - M, WIP - Draco Malfoy knows what he wants, and he's not afraid to reach out and take it.

Quiet My Demons by Lostinthenightrain - M, one-shot - “Unhappy, darling?” He murmured, his cigar placed on its resting dish, dashed out - a little puff of smoke rising into the air between them before disappearing. “Yes, completely.”

I Love Draco by crochetaway - G, one-shot - A few slice of life scenes with Hermione, Draco, and Scorpius ala I Love Lucy style!

DFW's Deal or No Deal: The Final Word, September 2021:

Crime & Punishment by itscometothis - T, 12 chapters - TRIAL TRANSCRIPT OF DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY IS FORMALLY CHARGED WITH THE FOLLOWING: CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT MURDER AIDING AND ABETTING A MURDER USE OF UNFORGIVABLE CURSES: IMPERIUS (2 COUNTS) USE OF UNFORGIVABLE CURSES: CRUCIATUS (47 COUNTS) PARTICIPATING IN A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION -- I don’t regret hoping. I thought I might, at the beginning, do you remember? But I don’t. I regret nothing about you, my love. Eternally yours, Draco -- A story of hope, punishment, and the nature of justice told in trial transcripts, visits in an interrogation room, and letters.

Boats Against the Current by AlannaTCooper - T, one-shot - Draco Malfoy is trying to escape his past by running as far away as he can. But the past - and his nightmares - keep pulling him backwards.

By His Side by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Hermione is lonely but there's at least one person who can break through her loneliness.

Trying To Live by IzzieStellar - T, one-shot - After her husband dies, Hermione can’t seem to remember how to live and her friends vow to help her.

In the Dead of Night by AdAsttra - G, one-shot - Hermione and Draco are some of the last people to leave Hogwarts under the veil of a cold, dark night.

This fest is ongoing.

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter ten

chapter ten

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: immense amounts of fluff, discussion of bad dreams death and past trauma at the end all related to canon

word count: 5.3K

from the beginning <3

Dreaming wasn’t something that came easily to Spencer. When he did dream they never made any sense, dark and twisting basements, endless staircases, treading a deep dark sea for hours as the waves swallowed him whole. Wind chimes that he couldn’t find wouldn’t stop twinkling as he aimlessly ran around a trailer park. It was never peaceful.

Then his mind found the park and couldn’t stop re-creating it, over and over again in his mind every single night when he closed his eyes.

He was in the middle of the most perfect dreamscape, his girls reading under the sun as Y/N’s head rested on his shoulder…

Then his phone started to ring, opening his eyes to the sun barely waking up as well. He answered the phone before Y/N could wake up beside him, “hello?”

“Spence, I’m so sorry to wake you,” JJ’s voice slipped into his mind and woke up right up, she wouldn’t call unless she needed to. “We have a really bad case, we have to leave like right now and the babysitter can’t take the boys and Henry is still too little to make sure Michael eats during the day and he’s still so little—“

“Hey it’s fine,” he cut her off as he sat up, waking Y/N in the process. “I’m only 12 minutes from Quantico, leave them with Anderson and I’ll be right over.”

“Thank you so much, Spence, oh and they need breakfast, I’ll leave some money with Henry, can you make sure they eat?”

“Absolutely, don’t worry, good luck and be safe,” he reminded her, feeling weird that he didn’t have to go as well.

“Thanks again Spence,” he could hear her smile before hanging up, leaving him to stretch and finally get out of the bed.

“Was that JJ?” Y/N asks, getting out of bed and putting on her housecoat to follow him to the bathroom.

“Yeah, the boys need someone to watch them if you don’t mind?”

“They’re family,” she reminded him with a sleepy smile.

“They need lunches for today, I can drive Amoreena to school with them too?” He’s splashing water on his face so he can wake up enough to drive safely to Quantico, wiping the water from his eyes as he hears Y/N laughing softly.

“It’s Saturday silly, and Monday is their last day anyway if they need to stay that long,” Y/N reminds him, “I’ll try and have breakfast ready when you get back.”

“Tomorrows the 14th, shit,” he remembers his calendar. “I have to take my mom to get her yearly scan and cognitive test done tomorrow morning, I won't be able to send her off on her last day.”

“That’s okay, as long as you’re there for the little graduation and the all about me display ceremony it’ll be fine, it starts at 1:30,” she didn’t mind him missing it but everything in him felt like the worst person ever if he did.

He never wanted to miss anything ever again.

“You’re sure that’s fine?”

She nodded again, wrapping her arms around him and looking up into his beautiful, tired eyes. “Family comes first, that means Diana was in the calendar longer so you go with her. Amoreena just wants to come home with you from school, for the next 10 years of school she’ll be coming home to you.”

“Why don’t we wake Amoreena and go get breakfast with the boys? I’d like to get to know my god kids too…” her voice cooing as she soothed his morning anxiety, blessing him with more time with her, he nodded.

“You go get the boys and come back and pick us up, I’m sure she’ll take a few minutes to contemplate feeding chickens or breakfast,” Y/N smiled, leaning in to kiss his cheek softly.

She pulled away but he pulled her right back in, pressing his lips right against hers again and again until they were both laughing, teeth bumping into each other in their early morning delirium. She finally pulled away from his grasp, rushing to the bedroom door so he couldn’t follow her.

“Go get the boys!”

He fake huffed, “fine!”

Slipping into his jeans and a sweater, placing her grandpa’s hat back on his head once more. He made sure he had his wallet and identification, the guards knew him it’s not like he wouldn’t be allowed into the building with a visitors pass.

And then he was out the door and driving down the road. Pulling into Quantico with a strange feeling in his gut, he didn’t realize how much he hated it here until he didn’t need to be there all the time. He was granted a visitors pass, parking in the garage and taking the elevator right up to the BAU.

He walked into the briefing room to find Henry on his phone and Michael sound asleep again on the couch.

“Hey, uncle Spencer!” Henry cheered, not waking Michael in the process somehow.

“Hey buddy,” he said, scooping the now 13-year-old Henry into his arms for a quick hug. He was still cuddly and sensitive and quiet, much like Spencer at that same age.

It was almost like JJ picked him as the godfather knowing he would need him. Choosing to text or call Spencer about cute girls and chess games and new star wars movies, instead of going to his dad for chats about football and beer… or whatever Will was into. Spencer really didn’t give him a chance to get to know him over the last 15 years, harbouring a hatred for him that he didn’t really understand until he met Y/N.

Now will was the jealous one in a sense, wondering what he could do to get his own son to come to him for advice and support. But he understood it, Henry was exactly like Spencer and he needed to see that being awkward and quiet doesn’t last forever.

“So, I’m not sure if your mom and dad told you, but I got married and my wife has a daughter and we’re going to take you boys out to breakfast, okay?”

“She said you’re Nini’s dad, like for real?” Once again someone from the LaMontagne called Amoreena Nini and he had no idea why.

“I donated sperm when your mom got pregnant with you, I didn’t think I’d get to have a family,” he was honest with him. He was old enough to know how it worked and mature enough to hear the word sperm without freaking out.

“Cool, Nini and Mike are normally friends.”

“Why do you guys call her Nini?”

“Michael couldn’t say Amoreena when he was 4 so he called her Nini, and then Dad would call her that when he teased Mike about his crush on her,” it made complete sense for a kid to not be able to pronounce it.

But his brain got stuck on the crush part, turning to Michael who was still sound asleep with his face pressed into his backpack, drooling slightly. JJ’s kid had a crush on his, a weird fantasy he had coming true where he and JJ can be friends forever as in-laws.

It was too bad Amoreena really didn’t like boys, not even in the 8-year-old ‘ew cooties’ way either. She was raised around women and she was comfortable with them, and she had no problem punching Michael in the face if he ever pissed her off. It was going to be interesting seeing them interact today.

“Okay, well let’s get your things and bring them back to our house and then we’ll go get breakfast with my girls,” Spencer smiled, seeing Henry’s face light up at the day he gets to spend with Spencer. “You’re going to love Y/N.”

And he did… walking into Spencer’s new house to drop off his backpack, dropping his jaw when he saw Y/N instead. He was so much like Spencer it made him laugh, patting Henry on the shoulder, “I know,” he teased him.

Henry turned to him with wide eyes, “I’ve never met Nini’s mom, that’s her mom?” He whispered that same anxious boy Spencer used to be staring right back at him.

He nodded with a smile, “yeah, she’s really nice don’t worry.”

“Henry! It’s so nice to meet you,” she says as she walks into the main room.

Henry turns around to see her when she’s pulling him into a big hug, Spencer can see his eyes are closed as he takes a moment to hug a pretty girl. Spencer couldn’t help but bite his tongue, not wanting to laugh and embarrass the poor boy now that he was noticing pretty girls. Even if that girl happened to be his wife, it was inevitable for Henry to crush on one of Spencer’s girlfriends with how much he copied him.

She pulled back softly, Henry’s arms still around her waist, she brushed his beautiful blond hair behind his ears. “You look so much like your mom, you’re so handsome!”

Henry forgot how to breathe, trying to stutter out a thank you as he backed up out of her space and turned to Spencer, “he’s always looked like JJ, you should have seen how tiny he was originally,” Spencer jumped in to save him. “Where is Amoreena?”

“She’s trying to pick between 2 different dresses, I’ll go make sure she’s in one by now,” she smiled at them before leaving the room, heading up the stairs to Amoreena’s room.

“You good?” Spencer nudged Henry, laughing lightly. “She’s your aunt now, she’s not going to think you’re a dork so you can calm down around her, I promise.”

Henry released a deep shaky breath, “you’re right, sorry.”

“It’s fine, I was like that around your mom before you were born, you should have seen me,” he tried to sympathize with the boy, only making a disgusted face arise on him.

“Ew, that’s completely different she’s my mom!”

Spencer wrapped his arm around him, “and Y/N is my wife!” He whispered as loud as he could so that it wouldn’t be heard by her.

Henry sighed, “and she’s like what 50?”

“35,” Spencer looked at him and laughed as he shook his head, “how old do you think I am?”

“Mentally? 6-years-old,” Henry bullied him right back for all the brotherly teasing, “but physically you look 79.”

“Thanks,” Spencer said, tucking the boy under his arm and messing up his hair, “now you look like a dork.”

He loved Henry more than he could express, unlike Amoreena he knew he wasn’t his kid, it wasn’t fatherly at all. Henry was his best friend's kid, his godson and his little brother, and as he got older he was becoming more of a best friend than he thought he would.

—

After breakfast when everyone was awake and happily full, Y/N took them all into town to visit the farmer’s market. Letting the kids look around and see if there was anything they wanted to all make for dinner, she was the best mom and aunt in the whole wide world and Spencer kept falling more and more in love every second he spent with her.

She was glowing in the sunlight, walking through the booths looking at all the fresh vegetables and fruit, Spencer followed her with Michael’s hand in his and Henry not far behind. Amoreena was off talking to her favourite vendor, an older woman who reminded her of her great-grandma, it was sweet.

Spencer thought about how their future would be much of the same, Y/N and him with a couple of kids while the rest of them did their own thing. He couldn’t wait to see all the little faces they’d create together, to get to know all the personalities and raise them into being just as wonderful as their sister and cousins.

“Ugh,” Y/N stopped dead in her tracks then, they were heading towards the butcher’s booth when she turned around, almost green as she reacted to the smell. “Nope, not going down there.”

Spencer couldn’t stop smiling at her as she tried to not throw up in the middle of the market, people watching her dry heave as she walked away. Spencer knew JJ was pregnant with Michael before she even told Will because she was the exact same way very early on. Living on ginger ale and baby cookies to stay sane, Y/N was going to need that hack.

He didn’t say anything, just profiling her in his mind as he followed her again.

Henry and Michael used the money JJ left them to buy some homemade candies from the market, Y/N picked up some donuts to bring home to her parents, and Amoreena only wanted fresh strawberries. Spencer however snuck away from the group really quickly to get something they passed earlier, something he wanted to get for Amoreena.

There was a vendor with homemade shirts and dresses, knitted hats and all sorts of collectables. If he was going to miss her last morning before kindergarten, he wanted to get her something to wear that morning so he’d be there in spirit.

There was a beautiful handmade purple dress hanging on the wall behind the vendor, the same kind old woman that reminded Amoreena of her GG. “Hello, how can I help you today?”

“We haven’t met, but I’m Amoreena’s father,” he introduced himself with a smile, and the old woman face beamed.

“Yes you are,” she smiled. “She has your nose, it’s lovely to finally meet you!”

“you too, um, I was interested in that purple dress,” he points behind her, “it looks like the one from tangled, I’m sure she’d love it.”

“that’s exactly how she described it when she saw it today,” the woman explains as she takes it down from the wall for him. “It’s $35, but I’ll do $20 for my favourite little friend.”

“That’s very kind, but I don’t mind,” he says, taking $35 dollars out of his wallet and laying it beside the cash box. “Thank you for always making my girl smile.”

“Thank you,” she smiled again, folding the dress nicely and placing it in a white bag, “would you like some tissue paper so she can’t see what it is?”

“That would be great, thank you,” Spencer smiled too, incredibly happy that this was his life now.

She handed him the bag then, stuffed to the brim with purple and pink paper, Amoreena was going to love it. He said his goodbyes and met the rest of his family at the car, hiding the present between his legs in the passenger seat as they drove home.

—

Henry and Michael did end up having to stay the night, switching into their PJs after dinner and joining them all in the living room for a movie night. They let the kids stay up later to watch the whole movie, watching Michael fall asleep once again on the carpet, he had been so well behaved all day it was like he was afraid of Amoreena now.

Michael was perfectly happy sleeping on the couch all night, Henry, on the other hand, slept in Y/N’s old room to have some privacy and so he could sleep in on Sunday.

By the time JJ and Will got home on Sunday night, Y/N and Spencer were just putting some burgers on the grill, they had enough for the whole team and so sure enough, the crew made a short trip from Quantico to Heaven.

Matt called his wife, she drove their handful of children over, Luke of course let Penelope know, the two of them still happily seeing each other now that she wasn’t on the team, it was cute to see them together. Then Penelope, of course, invited Derek and Hank. Emily, Rossi and Tara coming along just to witness Spencer being happy.

It was the best summer party they’ve ever had. Bob and Linda were beyond excited to have so many new faces in their yard, throwing on 2 more packages of burgers, feeding a whole army like normal.

The kids were all running around together in the field, playing with the cats and the goats, rolling down the big hill towards the cows, chasing fireflies as the sunset.

It was all of their last day of school on Monday, a weird day to end on but they were excited nonetheless. Y/N’s father lit up a bonfire in celebration, setting up every lawn chair and log they had to make sure everyone had a seat, they all gathered with marshmallows on sticks and drinks in their hands, smiles on their faces and love in their hearts.

Spencer made a happy life for himself that he was no sharing with them, and they call understood perfectly why he chose this one. It was peaceful, perfect and the most loving environment he’s ever been in. They were beyond proud of him.

“This place is amazing,” Tara leaned towards Spencer, “your family is wonderful.”

“Thank you,” Spencer smiled at her, raising his voice then as he looked at the rest of the team, “I just want to thank all of you actually, you’re all my family and it’s been so surreal introducing you all, I’ve never been happier.”

He was swarmed with hugs then, everyone also using it as their queue to gather their kids and hit the road. They watched everyone get in their cars one by one, Penelope did everything in her power not to leave with at least 3 cats, Matts's kids asked if they could come back, often, with Y/N reminding everyone that the gates are always open.

It was everything he ever wanted.

Amoreena jumped into his arms then, he held her against his side as they both waved at everyone, saying goodbye to all her new aunts and uncles and cousins. Her family kept getting bigger and bigger by the day and she was so incredibly happy about it. She’d take in a million more family members if they let her, her heart didn’t have a capacity level for love.

He carried her up the porch stairs then, bringing her into the kitchen where the white bag with purple tissue paper was waiting for her. Her eyes lit up as she saw it, “is that for me?”

“You bet it is,” he enthused, “I’m not going to be here in the morning, grandma Diana has a doctor's appointment, so I got you something for tomorrow morning.”

He set her down on the floor, handing her the bag and watching her carefully remove all the tissue paper. She laid it on the table softly to keep it for later, saying it was good to make barbie dresses with. When she finally saw the dress her jaw dropped.

Y/N was there too now, watching in awe as he surprised both of them.

“Did you buy this from Candace?” She asks softly as she takes it out of the bag. Holding it to her chest as she twirls around lightly.

“I did, I thought you’d like to have something to remind you of me there, I’m sorry I’m going to miss sending you to the bus on your last day,” he tried not to cry as he crouched down to her level, taking her into his arms and giving her a soft hug.

“That’s okay, you’re always in here,” she took his pointer finger in her hand and poked her own chest with it, “I love you, dad.”

“I love you more, Amoreena,” he smiled through the tears, scrunching his nose so they wouldn’t roll down his cheeks, giving her another hug before Y/N started her bedtime routine.

—

For the past two weeks, his dreams have been filled with lush fields of green draped in the most beautiful golden glow. Both his girls sitting beside him as they read, each of them has a book and it’s silent. It’s serene, the dictionary definition of peace.

However, it took him a while to fall asleep tonight, he was too anxious for Amoreena’s last day of kindergarten in the morning and the fact he wouldn’t be there for the drop-off.

Y/N was sound asleep on the pillow beside him as he stared at her, for what felt like hours, brushing her hair off her face lightly and making sure the blankets were still covering her. His eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room just enough that he could see her face twitch into a smile as she fell deeper into her slumber.

Seeing her happy relaxed him enough to follow her. Blinking into his dream realm and finding a few new faces waiting for him by the tree…

“Dad!” Another little girl he’s never seen before was running towards him, wrapping herself around him as he held her.

Suddenly, 7 other children he doesn’t know are surrounding him in hugs, tacking him to the ground in a fit of giggles and tickles, “we missed you! Why were you gone for so long?”

He’s so confused, he knows he’s dreaming but he chooses to stay, to wander the world and ask the questions his mind was so obviously trying to answer. “I’m sorry,” is all he can reply, taking Amoreena’s hand and following her towards Y/N as she sat on the picnic blanket.

She was older, which meant he should be too, looking in the pond quickly for his reflection to see’s his wrinkled face, the white in his hair and beard. Their kids had all grown up but where was he for it?

“Welcome home,” she smiled as he sat down. “it’s about time you met the girls.”

“Where was I?”

“You don’t remember?”

He shakes his head, “I was supposed to be here.”

“Amoreena got into Yale, did you hear that, cutie? Elly, Junie and Theo are in high school now, look how beautiful they are…”

He watched his children frolic in the field, running around without a care in the world that he missed everything. Why did he miss everything? How could he miss everything?

“It’s too bad you missed Cordelia and the other twins, can you believe we had 3 sets of twins, Spence?” She laughed like it was funny, “how could you leave me alone with 9 babies?” Still smiling, staring into his soul as he died a little inside.

He started to panic then, breathing heavily as he tried to remember where he was to miss everything, “I was supposed to be there for them!?”

Suddenly he’s ripped awake by Y/N shaking him and pulling him against her skin, “hey, shhh, it’s okay.”

He was crying and shaking in his sleep, sweating as he tried to fight off the dream, his anxiety in full swing for absolutely no reason, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for leaving you.”

“You didn’t go anywhere, Spencer, you’ve been there the whole time,” she reminded him, rubbing her hand over his back as he settled into her arms. “You were mumbling and then yelling.”

“I got to the park and you told me I missed all of them growing up,” he whispered the painful words into the open, freeing them from his mind and letting them exist somewhere else.

“Them?” She coo’s, holding his head against her chest as she rests her cheek against it, holding him as close as humanly possible.

“We had like 9 girls, they were all so beautiful as you and Amoreena, they all had my nose and your lips and the curliest blowing hair in the whole world, and I missed everything, again,”

“I won't let that happen, do you have any handcuffs leftover? Because I can keep you here for good?” She teased him in a hushed whisper, playful and happy to prove that he was fine, they were fine.

“I’m sorry for waking you up,” he whispered again shimmying down lower to lay his head on her lower stomach, kissing her stomach softly. “I’m not leaving you all, never.”

“I had a bad dream too, that’s what woke me up first,” she replies softly. “Yesterday was the 11th anniversary of Stephen’s death, and the first time I never visited him.”

Spencer felt the need to sit up then, making eye contact with her to see her true feelings. “I don’t want you to stop loving him because you also love me. He’s special to you, you should go see him soon.”

“Spencer,” she smiles at the concern in his voice, “I will, I only didn’t because I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant, I was bleeding a little yesterday and then it stopped, that probably means the implantation worked and I don’t want to tell him yet. And I tell him everything.”

“Everything?” He asks in a way that she hears; “even about me?” inside his thoughts.

She nods softly, “I went on that first Monday after I dropped you off at your apartment, I needed him to know I was finally ready and I thanked him for sending you to me.”

“What was he like?”

“He was from Boston, accent and everything,” she smiled with sad eyes as she recalled him to her mind. “He was in theatre school, I met him in the summer at a music festival in Chicago, he was playing guitar and we had too many beers and I lost my virginity to him in a tent in some field.”

She recalled it like it was a fond memory, missing him but not enough to be sad about it now. “I ran into him again when I went to college in Boston and we were talking outside before the rain hit, like one of those classic movie scenes, and my apartment was closer, the rest is history.”

“Hey Stephen is the one song you always skip, I never wanted to ask why but I don’t think you’ll mind telling me?” He wonders out loud, still a little delirious from the lack of sleep.

“He looked like an angel when I first saw him, he was standing under a street light reading his music sheets and the light was glowing perfectly, it was amazing I wish I had a picture of it. But then the Fearless album came out for the first time and it was my favourite song because it was like she wrote it for us. He was my perfect angel, my superstar, he was going to be on Broadway one day and we were going to move to a cottage in England, we had lots of plans and that song just makes me think of the life me and him must be living in the universe where it all worked out.”

It’s long-winded and she doesn’t seem to be over-emotional by the end, in a shocking turn of event’s it seems like she feels freer after getting it off her chest.

“I haven’t always been this happy and cheerful Spencer,” she adds, “I had a really dark spot after he died, it was horrible for me. I was so angry, I was reckless and mean and hurtful, and in that time I wasted precious moments I could have spent being happy with my grandma, and so my dream tonight was just the fight I had with Evan and my grandma dying and the cops saying Stephen was dead and placing that stupid fucking flower on his coffin thinking it made up for the fact I couldn’t even look at him in there.”

“How you respond to trauma isn’t really up to you, that’s why it’s trauma. Your brain can’t really cope and so it does typically the stuff you’ll regret the most in that time of grief, it’s not your fault and I’m sure everyone understood. You had every right to be mad, hell, I’m mad you lost him because I know how much you hurt in silence for so long,” Spencer can’t help but wish he could have been there for her.

“What happened to you after Maeve died?”

It was only fair that he shared too, “I locked myself in my apartment and didn’t take care of myself, I didn’t talk to anyone, I just sat in my living room and almost died reading every book I had because I didn’t feel like I was worthy of being taken care of so if I starved to death, so be it.”

“You still haven’t told me what happened with her and the kidnapping,” she reminds him of their little chat a few weeks ago at the school. “I get it if you’re not ready, I’m sure it’s a lot.”

“I was getting headaches, really bad ones, and so I reached out to a geneticist to see if she could help me. I sent her my brain scans and some blood tests and she helped me find supplements and natural ways to help my body rest from the stress of my work,” he explained it easily like the feelings didn’t hurt anymore.

“We talked on the phone a lot and I finally asked her why she was so afraid to meet me or have me know anything about her. She had me call her from a payphone, always a different one each time, I was to call and let it ring once, then hang up then she’d call me back. She thought she had a stalker, she was getting weird messages and threats and she felt genuinely unsafe, and she had every right to,”

“10 months went by and we thought she was safe, but her ex-fiancé got a private investigator to find her and in return found me instead. It turns out that Maeve had a student who felt wronged by her and wanted to outdo her, so she dated her fiancé and scared her underground but then she wanted me.”

Y/N’s face is full of concern like she’s listening to a true-crime thriller where she knows the ending won't be good.

“I tried to talk her stalker down, I almost had her and then she kissed me and I keep looking at Maeve, she saw right through me. She threatened to kill Maeve, she had a gun to her head but at the last minute she killed herself, but Maeve’s head was too close to hers,” the words hurt on the way out.

“And someone also had you sent to prison?” She asks, wanting all the trauma in one night to save him the trouble.

“Yeah, she was an assassin, I tricked her into thinking I found her dad and I was so smart she thought I was her soulmate, it was all an elaborate plan to bring me down to her level.”

“Did you kill someone?”

“I’ve killed too many people,” he answers with complete honesty once again. “I’ve killed mostly murderers and rapists, I typically don’t have to. I really try not to, but I’ve also killed people to keep myself safe. And I’d probably kill someone to keep you or Amoreena safe too.”

“Get in line,” she laughs, able to make every single conversation easy even when they shouldn’t be.

“I uh,” he wants to tell her more but he doesn’t know-how. “I was also sexually assaulted in prison, and I was kidnapped and drugged in 2007, I OD’d and died but then I was resuscitated, I wasn’t kidding when I said it was a lot.”

“I am so sorry Spencer,” she rests her hands on his cheeks, looking into his eyes as best as she could in the dark, still seeing the goodness in there. “You’re safe here with me, forever and always, I can promise you that.”

“Thank you,” he’s never going to stop thanking her.

Settling down on the bed once more, he cuddles back into her side. She brushes his hair behind his ear softly, humming a soft melody as she soothes him back to sleep. He snuggled right against her, holding her gently as he fell back to sleep on her, dreamless as she was everything he needed.

love you all for all the support thank you x100 <3

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

[reidgraygubler]

ethan(spencer reid/fem!reader)

*{ gif belongs to @toyboxboy​  }*

Title: ethan Request: no Couple: spencer reid/fem!reader Category: angst, fluff Content Warning: pregnancy, mentions of someone being shot, mentions of gun use, talks about almost dying, swears (if any), vomiting, casework, allusions of ex Word Count: 5,500 Summary: reader has some really important news to share with spencer, but he’s away on a case. that is until really important news is shared with her. A/N:  based on the season 9 finale episodes Angels and Demons. I genuinely loved Alex and was lowkey sad when she left. The end of this one shot talks a lot about her and the end of Demons. anyways, enjoy and thanks for the love! Check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

Spencer held me close to his body, pressing his lips to my neck and breathing deeply. I shifted a bit before rolling to face him. He looked down at me with a lazy and tired smile. 

“Why are you awake,” I mumbled as I pressed my hand to his bare chest. He hummed and looked at the watch on his wrist.

“Got a case, Texas,” he whispered as he looked back down at me. I pouted and shook my head.

“No,” I whined and shook my head. Spencer looked down at me as he sat up in bed. “You’re gonna be gone forever, Spencer.” I copied his action and sat up beside him. He grasped my hand as he looked at me.

“I’ll be home before you know it. You know I’m always a phone call away,” he leaned over before kissing my lips. I pouted as I watched him slip out of the bed. “I’ll be safe,” he spoke as he pulled clothes out of his dresser.

“You better be safe, Spencer, I don’t want to get that phone call,” I scolded as I pulled the blanket around my body and got out of bed. I walked over and stood beside him. I placed my head on his shoulder, not letting him move. I looked at the few photos he had on top of his dresser. One was of him and his mother a few Christmases ago; it was nice going out to Vegas to visit Diana that year. Another photo was Spencer and me on our wedding day, 3 years ago now. That was the happiest day of my life, and I’m sure of Spencer’s life, too. And the final photo was the two of us with his work family (who’s more real family than anything else).

“You’re not going to get that phone call,” he said as he looked down at me and smiled, “I’ll call you every night at 9 pm Eastern Standard, okay?” 

“Okay, and if I don’t get a phone call from you, I’m buying the first ticket to Texas and finding you.” I lifted my head off him and walked back to the bed. 

“I look forward to that.” Spencer smiled before walking back to my side of the bed, “I love you,” he whispered as he looked down at me. I looked at him and smiled.

“Yeah, I’m sure you do. Hurry back soon.” I pouted. He chuckled before kissing me one last time. “I love you too!” I shouted as he left the room. The light laughter that came from him made me feel happy as I drifted back to sleep.

{***}{***}{***}

A week, 7 days, 186 hours, 10,080 minutes, 604,800 seconds. That’s how long Spencer (and the rest of the BAU family) was gone for. And I was at home, sitting on the bathroom floor with three pregnancy tests lined up in front of me. I only had a few symptoms, but they were enough to get me curious. I’m sure if Spencer were here he’d prove to me that I was pregnant and then get me to take a test anyway.

“C’mon, let’s get a nice welcome home present for Spencer,” I whispered, staring anxiously at the tests. Like that’ll make the tests be positive and make me pregnant. 

The timer on my alarm binged, causing me to grab it and silence it. I took a deep breath and said a prayer to whatever God would listen to me before I blindly flipped each test over. I looked down at them and saw two pink lines in the little window. I stared at them, in shock and in awe. My mouth fell open as I stared at them. My heart rate picked up and a smile grew on my lips. 

“Pregnant,” I whispered, looking at them. I collected the three sticks in one hand and my phone in the other before standing up. 

Spencer should be home soon. He said a week. And that’s exactly how long he’s been gone. I just hope this case doesn’t make him stay away longer. I want to tell him right away. This is something he needs to know as soon as possible. 

I looked down at my phone and noticed the time, 9:15 pm. He’s late. He’s probably just busy. Although, that hasn’t stopped him before. It was always 9 pm, whether he was busy or not. But now? He’s 15 minutes late. Does that mean I call? I’ll give it a little bit. I won’t call right now. Maybe they made an incredibly important break in the case and the unsub! I won’t overly worry… yet.

I sat down on the couch and looked at the objects in hand. My excitement was through the roof and I couldn’t wait to tell the others about my secret. We’ve wanted kids since before we got married, and here we are. I don’t think this excitement will ever go away.

Aaron Hotchner calling...

I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at the contact to make sure it was Aaron. “Aaron?” I pressed my phone to my ear. I placed the tests in a line on the coffee table.

“There’s been an accident with Spencer.” his tone was low and stern as he spoke. I dropped my shoulders and felt my heart sink to my stomach. “We need you here now. Section Chief Cruz and Garcia are on their way to your apartment,” he continued. Okay, wait, hold on. 

“Spencer… He was… Is he…” I could feel my hands begin to shake as I brought myself to my feet. I should have just stayed sitting. 

“He was shot in the neck. He’s in surgery now. But we need you to come out here as soon as possible,” he explained. I fell to my knees and brought a hand to my mouth.

Maybe that excited feeling could go away. Because it just did. Two extremes hitting me in a very short amount of time. My anxieties are already through the roof. 

“Is he going to be okay?” I asked, my tone so soft I was worried Aaron didn’t hear me.

“He’ll be fine,” he spoke softly. I swallowed roughly and nodded, “Call me when you get here,” he stated before hanging up. I dropped my phone from my ear and looked at the black screen.

I quickly scrambled to my feet and nearly tripped into the bedroom, catching myself on the dresser. I grabbed whatever I needed and tossed it all into a backpack before running downstairs where Penelope and Cruz would be.

Okay, no, yeah… Maybe now I worry...

{***}{***}{***}

I swallowed roughly as I followed behind Penelope into the waiting room. JJ and Alex were sitting together, waiting for a doctor or nurse or someone to tell them how Spencer is doing.

“Hey, looks like you guys made it.” JJ looked over at Penelope, Cruz, and I. I pulled my sweater tighter around my body as I stood beside Penelope. JJ looked over at me before standing up. 

“It’s nice knowing multiple people who own jets,” Penelope spoke as she gestured towards Cruz. I bit my lips together and looked around the waiting room. I felt nauseous being here. The scent of it made my stomach churn.

“Yeah, called in for a few favors,” Cruz spoke as he looked back at JJ. I rolled my shoulders and finally looked back at my friends. JJ was still looking at me, waiting for me to say something. 

“How is he,” I whispered, hugging my arms around my body. 

“He’s still in surgery. We’re waiting to hear how he is,” JJ whispered as she held out her hands for me to take. I stared at it for a moment before grabbing it. “He’ll be okay,” she reassured. I swallowed roughly and nodded.

“You all can see Agent Morgan now.” A doctor came up beside us and looked at everyone. Penelope looked at us before peeling away with Cruz. I looked back at JJ and bit my lips together as tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. 

“C’ mere,” she whispered before pulling me closer to her and enveloping me in her arms. I pressed my face into the crook of her neck and let out a small sob. JJ only hugged me tighter before stepping back. “Let’s go sit.” She pulled me in the direction where Alex was sitting. I swallowed roughly and followed behind her. 

“Hey there.” Alex looked up at me and smiled softly. She had a mildly guilty expression on her face as she looked at me. I don’t know why she would be guilty of what happened. Unless she was the one who shot him. And, honestly, from what Penelope half told me, and Cruz fully telling me, what happened… It honestly wasn’t her fault at all. He would have taken a bullet for anyone and everyone. 

I waved lightly at her before sitting across from her. JJ sat beside me. I looked around the room and noted we were the only ones here. 

“Do you want anything?” Alex asked in a whisper. I looked at her and shook my head. 

“I’m actually going… I’m gonna get hot chocolate. You said he’s still in surgery?” I glanced at JJ. She looked back at me and nodded.

“Do you want me to go with you?” JJ offered, watching as I stood up. I shook my head and pushed my hands into my pockets.

“No, no, I’ll be fine,” I spoke, but my voice was shaky and quiet. JJ nodded before allowing me to leave. 

I tried being quick as I got my drink. Mostly because I knew that the chances of something happening while I was gone were pretty high. That always happens though… Something always happens when you’re gone. I don’t even know why I left to get a drink. I should have just stayed. 

I kept my head low, my eyes on the steam rolling off my hot chocolate, as I re-entered the room. Something to keep me distracted and busy while I walked back towards Alex and JJ. I quietly sat beside JJ and stayed silent.

“He’ll be fine. He’s still a kid,” Alex’s voice caused me to look up at her. What conversation did I just join in on?

I swallowed roughly and nodded, agreeing that Spencer Reid, the man I married, is still a kid himself. Although he’s going to be a dad in 9 months. “There’s still things for him to do,” she added in a whisper. I sighed deeply and looked down at my hot chocolate.

“He wants kids you know,” JJ whispered as she looked at Alex. I snapped my head up from my hot chocolate, again, and looked at her. “He’d be the best dad,” she laughed as she looked at Alex. I took a shaky breath and pretended to be fine with the conversation. I was honestly anything but fine with this conversation. 

“That’d be the luckiest kid in the world,” Alex laughed as she looked between JJ and I. I rubbed the underside of my nose before wiping my eyes with the tips of my fingers. “He’s gonna be fine,” she whispered, mostly to herself. I looked at her and exhaled deeply.

Yeah, I know he wants kids. Everyone knows Spencer wants kids. No one knows better than me, considering I’m pregnant with his baby. But no one knows that except for me. I didn’t get the chance to tell him before he left for this case. Considering, I’d only just found just a few hours ago, I was beyond ecstatic. But who knows if I’ll get the chance to tell him now. Because I’m currently sitting in a hospital waiting room because he got shot. 

I let out a deep and shaky breath of air and shook my head. JJ looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. “Other than the obvious, are you okay? Can I get you anything?” JJ asked, causing Alex to look at me. I didn’t exactly like the feeling of their eyes on me 

Before I got the chance to speak, my stomach gurgled a bit, forcing me to throw a hand over my mouth and run to the bathroom. I almost didn’t make it before I emptied my stomach contents into the toilet. Why, oh, why? This isn’t fair…

I splashed water on my face, forcing myself to calm down as I stared at my reflection. The door swung open behind me and JJ stepped in. She was looking at me with concern on her face. 

“What’s wrong? What happened?” she asked as she came over to me. She pulled a fistful of paper towels from the dispenser and handed them over to me. I stared at her as tears continued to roll down my cheeks. “He’s going to be okay. Spencer will always be okay.”

“No, I know. I know he’ll be okay.” I wiped my eyes with the paper towels as I looked at her, “Spencer’s gonna be a great dad,” I whispered as I dropped my gaze to the ground. “He’s gonna be an amazing dad,” I repeated as I glanced at her, hoping she got the hint. 

“Are you...?” JJ asked as she placed her hands on my shoulders. I bit my lips together before nodding lightly.

"I found out a few hours ago," I forced a smile on my lips as I looked at her. I was happy that I was telling my friend about my exciting news. But part of me had several worries, again one of them being Spencer in the hospital.

JJ smiled at me before pulling me into a tight hug. I pressed my face into the nape of her neck. Part of me wanted to break down in her embrace. But, something felt off. It would be validated though if I did break down. Considering everything that is happening at the moment.

"I didn't even know you guys were trying. That's… this is so exciting," she half-whispered, half exclaimed. I smiled and shrugged as I stepped back away from her. She smiled as she grasped my hands. 

"Well, we weren’t exactly trying. We were kinda just letting it happen. And, if it happened, it happened,” I laughed lightly and shrugged, “And, I guess it happened," I blinked as tears raced down my cheeks. JJ smiled as she wiped the tears off my cheeks before hugging me again.

“I’m so happy for you,” she whispered before grasping my hands, “You’ll be able to tell him. He’ll be fine.” She squeezed both my hands and nodded.  

“I know, I know… You said it yourself, JJ… Spencer will always be fine,” I tried to reassure myself. He will be fine. 

“I have to go. Derek and I are going back to the station. Alex and Penelope are staying here, with you and Spencer. Call me if anything happens.” JJ looked at me as she guided me back out of the bathroom and towards where we were sitting. 

“Of course. You still have a job to do. Be safe,” I flashed her a sad smile as she collected her things. 

“See you guys later,” JJ looked between Alex and I before leaving the two of us alone. I sat silently, my head low, while Alex sat across from me. She was bouncing her knees anxiously while waiting. In the two years she’s been here, I never really had a good friendship with her. It’s not that I didn’t like her… we just disagreed on somethings and our personalities never meshed together. I love her, don’t get me wrong. 

“Do you want kids?” Alex asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. Do I want kids? 

“Yeah, kids… They’re great,” I exhaled deeply and nodded. I looked up at her and furrowed my eyebrows. I’m not so sure I want everyone to know my news just yet. It’s still too early. “I’ve wanted kids since the day I met Spencer. I knew I wanted to have kids with him,” I laughed lightly and nodded. And that wasn’t an exaggeration or anything. I knew the day I met him that kids would be in our lives.

“You guys would be fantastic parents.” Alex smiled at me as she reached out to place a hand on my knee. I smiled back at her and nodded. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell her just yet that I was pregnant. I think JJ was enough people right now.

“Thanks, Alex,” I whispered as I kept my eyes on her. We stayed sitting in a tense silence. It felt as if time was moving slowly, almost like someone changed the speed to 0.5 speed. I honestly hated how long we waited for someone to tell us what was going on.

“Spencer is ready for you guys,” a doctor came over to us and spoke before Alex got to say anything. I looked at him and smiled before standing back up. He led the two of us to the room Spencer was. Penelope was already in his room, putting various ‘Doctor Who’ action figures on the little roller table in front of him. 

Spencer was still asleep from his surgery. A white bandage and gauze pad was pressed and wrapped around his neck. He looked so peaceful as he slept. But he always looked peaceful like this. Although, I didn’t like that he was knocked out because of anesthesia because he was shot in the neck.

“Oh good! You’re still here.” Penelope looked up at me with a sad smile. I returned the sad smile before sitting in one of the chairs beside the bed. Alex sat on the other side while Penelope continued setting up the action figures. “This’ll be nice… When he wakes up they’ll all be looking at him… And it’ll be the first thing he sees.” Penelope stepped back and looked at the action figures before looking at me and then Alex. 

“That will be nice.” Alex smiled at Penelope. I looked back at Spencer and sighed deeply. There was a moment of silence as we all stared at the sleeping Spencer. 

“Alright, this’ll be weird… We’re all just staring at him when he wakes up.” Penelope clapped her hands together as she looked up at me. I looked away from Spencer for a moment to look at my friend. “I’m gonna stand over here,” she whispered before stepping to stand by the window behind me. Surely it wouldn’t be too weird if I watched him while he was out. I mean, I’ve watched him sleep before, and that wasn’t too weird. 

After a little bit, I moved so I was kneeling on the ground beside the bed with Spencer’s hand in mine. Penelope was sitting where I once was sitting, her laptop on her lap as she was working on researching something for the team. Alex was sitting, half asleep in the chair by the doorway.

“Do you need anything?” Penelope asked me, resting her hand on my shoulder. I turned my head and looked over at her, feeling slight exhaustion in my eyes. I shook my head and watched her stand.

“Actually, can you get me hot chocolate,” I stopped her once she made it to the door. She turned and looked at me, nodding lightly. 

“I’ll go with.��� Alex spoke up as she stood to her feet.

“We can get him food for when he wakes up. He’s going to need the carbs and calories,” Penelope  I swallowed roughly and watched the two ladies leave. I looked back at Spencer and cocked my head to rest on the bed.  

Spencer’s nose twitched slightly before his eyes slowly opened. I lifted my head before moving to sit on the bed beside him. He gently squeezed my hand as he looked at me.

“Hey,” his voice was low and mildly raspy as he spoke.

“I don’t think you understand how happy I am to see you awake, Spence,” I whispered as I grasped his hand. He tiredly smiled at me and blinked. “Penelope went to get ice chips and food for you,” I smiled at him before exhaling, “Alex… Alex went with,” I gestured towards the doorway.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered before squeezing my hand lightly. It wasn’t very hard, but it was just enough for me to notice the action. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Don’t be sorry,” I shook my head as I rested my lips on the back of his hand. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t as safe as I should have been… And that I made you get that phone call.” He wrinkled his nose as he closed his eyes. I wiped my own eyes and shook my head.

“It wasn’t your fault or Alex’s fault… It’s no one but the guy who shot you… Please don’t blame yourself,” I whispered as I grasped his hand in mine. “I’m just happy you’re okay.” I looked up at him as tears rolled down my cheeks. Spencer tiredly smiled back at me. 

Although I was angry that he was currently in the hospital, in Texas, I was okay that he was finally awake and safe. I feel like there was no one to actually blame for this though. I mean, sure there was the bad guy. But, Spencer was just trying to protect Alex. 

“What’s wrong,” his voice shook me from my thoughts and brought me to look at him. I wiped my eyes and put a small smile on my lips.

“I’m pregnant,” I whispered as I looked at him. Spencer furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at me. He wanted to readjust in his spot, but I stopped him from moving. “Don’t hurt yourself, Spence.” I rested a hand on his shoulder. He looked at me with a fresh and certain dampness in his eyes.

“When… When did you find out?” he asked as he lifted his to hold mine. I smiled and let him hold it. 

“Just -Earlier tonight… Before I came here. I wanted to tell you when you got home. But then I got a phone call from Aaron about… Well-” I looked around the hospital room before looking back at Spencer.

“You’re not jus-”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Look who’s awake!” Penelope exclaimed as she stepped into the room. I looked over my shoulder at her with a forced smile. Her phone was pressed between her shoulder and ear, and a tray with food in her hands. 

Spencer looked at me, his lips still parted, and tears fresh in his eyes. Obviously, he wanted more information about my sudden news to him, but he didn’t want to talk about it in front of Penelope and Alex. 

“Just woke up.” I squeezed Spencer’s hand lightly. Alex looked over at me before handing me a paper cup with hot chocolate. I nodded and silently thanked her. 

“Tell her she can go now, please.” Penelope looked between Spencer and I as she nodded towards Alex. I laughed as I looked at her. 

“I’m okay, Alex. I’m sure the team needs you more than I need you.” Spencer lifted up his other hand and waved her away. It was Alex’s turn to laugh.

“Okay, okay. I’m outta here.” She looked at the three of us with a relieved smile. “I’m happy you’re awake,” she squeezed Spencer’s hand before leaving.

“I got juice, broth, and Jell-o!” Penelope exclaimed as she placed the three items on the table. 

“Oh boy, jello! My… My favorite.” He peeled his eyes off me and looked over at Penelope. I kept my eyes on him for a moment longer before looking over at Penelope.

Spencer lifted his hands to pick up the spoon on the table. I smiled as I watched him poke at the food in front of him.

{***}{***}{***}

I looked down at Spencer, who was fast asleep with his head in my lap. I smiled softly as I ran my fingers through his hair. He looked so peaceful as he slept. It was a good thing too. He hardly got any rest in the hospital… Especially after everything that happened. I don’t blame him though.

“When did you find out?” Aaron looked at me with a small smile on his lips. I looked up from Spencer’s face and at Aaron. I noticed everyone was looking upon Spencer and I with joy and excitement on their faces. Do they seriously know? Did they really profile me and my pregnancy? I know JJ wouldn’t tell anyone. 

“What… What’re you talking about?” I raised an eyebrow. I continued running my fingers through his hair. I looked down at Spencer when he adjusted in his spot. A small smile tugged onto the corner of my lips as I watched him.

“You have that new mother glow,” David spoke with a smile as he swirled his whiskey. I bit my lips together to hold back the smile I didn’t want to share. 

“And, I think you’ve thrown up a dozen and a half times since you came here,” Derek pointed out. I looked over at him, my lips half parted as I prepared to argue back. 

“I found out 3 days ago, okay. A few hours before Aaron called me about,” I pointed towards Spencer’s neck. “It’s still new to me… And Spencer,” I whispered as I looked back down at Spencer. I smiled and dropped my shoulders. “I’m just happy he’s okay,” I wrinkled my nose as I lifted my free hand to wipe my eyes. 

“Wait, you’re pregnant?” Penelope looked down at me as she stood at the small corridor that held the cockpit and bathroom. I looked up at her and smiled. “How come you didn’t tell me? You were literally in the room when I shot a gun?! Poor baby,” she cringed as she held a hand out towards my belly. I laughed lightly and shrugged.

“I just found out, Penelope. You didn’t scare the bean.” I smiled as I watched her walk towards the back of the plane. The jet was filled, hardly any seats open. “I think you scared me more than anyone else. And that includes Spencer,” I laughed lightly. 

“He was about to hurt Spencer! I couldn’t allow that!” she exclaimed as she finally sat down by Cruz. I smiled and looked back down at Spencer. 

“And, I appreciate that.” I looked back down at her. It looked like she wanted to continue on about my sudden announcement of my pregnancy, but it seemed like JJ got her to be quiet. I looked back at JJ and mouthed a quick ‘Thank you,’ before looking back down at the still sleeping Spencer. 

He wrinkled his nose before shifting so he was facing me. I looked up and over at Alex, who was staring at the table in front of her. Her expression was emotionless and the way she remained silent and away from our minor celebrations worried me.

Aaron’s phone chimed, causing everyone (Spencer excluded) to look his way with fear on their faces. I could feel my heart rate pick up, fearing for everyone around that they’d have to go back.

“Please tell me we don’t have another case, Hotch,” Derek asked, looking at Aaron. I looked between the two before dropping my stare back to Spencer.

“No, we’re going home. We’re getting a break,” Aaron said as he placed his phone back on the table top. I let out a sigh of relief as I pressed my head to the wall behind me. And suddenly I could feel the exhaustion hit me for the first time in 3 days. 

{***}{***}{***}

“How are you feeling?” Alex asked Spencer as we went up the stairs to our apartment. I fumbled for our apartment key as we stepped onto the landing.

“I feel great!” Spencer’s tone was sarcastic as he led us to our home. “Eh, that’s overselling it… I feel great considering I just got shot in the neck.” He placed his hand on his shoulder, near where he was shot. 

“Is it the whole being a dad thing that’s making you feel great?” Alex asked, looking between Spencer and I.

“That’s what I was thinking,” I smiled back as I looked at Alex. She smiled at me as I stood in front of the door to unlock it.

“I guess you could say that.” Spencer entered the room once the door was unlocked. I allowed Alex in before I stepped in and locked the door. “Having a baby definitely adds to the feeling great feeling.” He smiled at me. I returned the smile and stepped up to him. He looked down at me before kissing me.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick. Alex, if you’re not here when I get out, it was nice seeing you again… And I hope you have a good rest of the night.” I smiled at her. 

“It was nice seeing you again… Wish they were different circumstances,” she dryly laughed as I walked over to her. I wrapped my arms around her body and embraced her in a tight hug. She let out a deep sigh and pressed her face into my shoulder. I bit my lips together and felt tears form in my eyes before stepping away from her. 

“Have a nice night,” I whispered before leaving the room. I glanced at Spencer and smiled. He returned the smile with a shy one and waved as I went into our room, and then the bathroom.

I made sure to be quick. I knew Alex would be going home any minute and I didn’t want to leave Spencer alone. He’s been through too much already… He shouldn’t be alone right now.

When I stepped out of our bedroom, Spencer was standing by the window, looking out at the street. Something on my face made me not feel good.

“Where’d Alex go?” I asked as I stepped over to be beside Spencer. I wrapped both my arms around his middle and rested my head on his chest.

“Went home,” his voice was a low whisper. I pouted as I looked out the window to see Alex getting in a taxi cab. Spencer wrapped an arm around me and hugged me tightly.

“Lets go lie down. It’s probably best you get some rest. Maybe the both of us.” I looked up at him. His eyes were wide with a familiar wetness in them. He blinked and looked down at me. “We can talk baby… Something happy,” I smiled at him. Spencer forced a smile onto his lips and nodded.

“Let’s go lie down.” He nodded towards the bedroom. I grasped his hand and pulled him back to the room.

“How long ago did you find out,” Spencer asked, resting his head on my shoulder. I pulled the blanket over our bodies before resting my head on top of his. 

“Few days ago… Before Aaron called about…” I shrugged when I didn’t continue my statement. Spencer nodded when he gathered the rest of my thoughts. “But it’s true… I took 3 tests…” I chuckled lightly. Spencer let out a small sigh and nodded.

“Ethan’s a great name… If we have a boy,” Spencer whispered to me as I sat beside him on the bed. I looked over at him and took note of the badge he was holding on to. I dropped my shoulders when I saw Alex’s photo.

 “She left, she quit,” he said so softly to try to keep his voice from breaking. I reached over and grasped his hands and rested my head on his shoulder, “Why does everyone leave?” he sighed deeply as he rested his head on top of mine. I glanced up at his face and saw tears were rolling slowly down his cheeks. He was quick, though, to wipe them away. I’m sure he was hoping I didn’t notice. But I did.

“Sometimes people just need to move on. And, I guess it was just Alex’s time to move on,” I replied in a whisper. I lifted my hand and reached for the other side of her badge. “I know her husband wanted her to move to Boston with him,” I added. Spencer flipped the badge closed and dropped it to the comforter.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Spencer whispered as he grasped my hand. “She called me Ethan, at the scene where I was… I asked her who Ethan was, while you were in the bathroom. And, she had a son. No one knew that. He died when he was 9…” his voice broke again and suddenly I was crying. 

“Ethan’s a great name.” I wrinkled my nose as I rubbed my other hand over my incredibly flat tummy. “Perfect name,” I nodded. We sat in a comfortable silence, a silence that was more than welcomed. "Isn't Ethan the name of your college best friend and roommate?" I asked, raising an eyebrow slightly. Spencer’s breathing stilled for a moment before he answered.

"Possibly." 

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