#DiS is going to develop a headache babysitting the menace

[addcests]

a sweet garden memory :: oneshot - ao3 mirror just the two of us :: series - ao3 link

pairing DIEDiS; Diabolic Esper (top), Dissembler (bottom)

words 8180

rating [G]

summary “Hey, Psyker, you haven't made it out to shop yet, right? Great, we got it, later, Mastermind.

Dissembler had been about to ask the pair himself. Hell, he was going to even ask them to tag along, as he wanted Mastermind’s thoughts on a part he might pick up along the way. But that plan was shot. This was how the doctor found himself whisked away by one scheming Diabolic Esper.

note was sweating very loudly at the approaching 10k

shout out to jake in add server for this idea www i vaguely thought about it but didn't really consider it until then you don't need to the first fic (behind closed doors) to read this (and the one that follows it) but this does take place in the middle of the other one LOL a little fic about the two spending some quality time together :') anyway hoped you enjoyed this unnecessarily long fic lmao

“Hey, Psyker, you haven't made it out to shop yet, right? Great, we got it, later, Mastermind.”

Dissembler had been about to ask the pair himself. Hell, he was going to even ask them to tag along, as he wanted Mastermind’s thoughts on a part he might pick up along the way. But that plan was shot.

This was how the doctor found himself whisked away by one scheming Diabolic Esper.

-

Honestly, he half-expected Esper to shove him out the door and into one of his portals. So when that ended up not being the case, Dissembler quickly whirled on his counterpart, stalking past him back to their front door.

“Where are you going?” asked Esper, all innocent and owlish eyes and thoughtful, a single finger tapping his cheek, as if he hadn't been the one to bodily drag him out here in the first place when he hadn’t wanted to be out here.

“To get Mastermind,” Dissembler huffed, finally reaching their door, “and Psyker too, if he wishes. We could all go together.”

“I wouldn't do that.”

And why the hell not?

Why not became very apparent in the span of five seconds: a portal opened underneath him, engulfing him for a brief second, then spitting Dissembler out a few paces left of Esper. 

Right where they began. 

Disoriented, Dissembler righted himself up, tugging his headpiece out of his face, and shooting a pointed glare Esper’s way. He exhaled with barely contained irritation. Used to his shenanigans and games, he heaved out begrudgingly, “Fine. Why should I not do that?”

“Because you can't.”

Excellent. A typical, infuriating answer from their resident portal hopper. 

Dusting himself off dramatically, he knew from experience that dragging this out into some back and forth served him no good, especially with Esper involved. It was best then to be agreeable and appease the other. “Fine, have it your way.” He swooped a hand outward, as if to gesture for Esper to take the lead. “The sooner we get back, the sooner I can ask Mastermind about his notes.”

Esper regarded Dissembler once more and then took the lead as asked.

For a second, he swore he saw something of a pout run across Esper's face. 

But that was clearly a trick of the mind.

-

“So, where shall we start? I was interested in the Alchemist, however I know Psyker mentioned an order from the Blacksmith…” Dissembler flicked his wrist and pulled up a holographic screen which listed the outing chores for the day. He hummed over it and then turned to Esper to ask, “Do you have a preference for… and he is not even here.” He trailed off with a sigh because of course he just up and disappeared.

If he were honest, he was used to Esper pushing his buttons; he was the best at it after all. But that still didn't make this any less annoying, not to mention inefficient. 

“Why even drag me out if you won’t be around…”

As if on cue, just as Dissembler had been about to sift his way through the crowd, he turned and bumped into a smiling Esper. Smiling as if he had never even left his side to begin with. And he seemed to be holding something now too. But that wasn’t Dissembler’s focus presently. “Ack, oops. You startled me, hah.” Dissembler fixed his face, easing the irritation from it, forcing his frustration to drain away. “Where have you been?”

Before replying, Esper nudged Dissembler’s hand open to take a freshly made crepe, topped with strawberries and whipped cream. “Can't start on an empty stomach.”

Esper had been something of an enigma to Dissembler. Psyker and Mastermind both warned him of his methods of madness, and also warned him to give up on the idea of trying to solve the mystery of Esper. But in the end, that only served to motivate him further. (Especially back as their time during tracers.) Even if it was quite the…  tenacious task, Dissembler refused to shy away from it—from Esper.

“Yours is bottomless. Anyways, is this… for me?”

Esper smiled innocently once more, nudging it into his hands as if to insistent. “You want it.” Said not as a question, but a statement. A declaration of irrefutable proof. Tacked along with a knowing smirk now, as if daring him to deny it.

And Esper was right because he did want it. Thinking about the crepe before him now, he recalled that he had mentioned wanting crepes earlier in the week. (Secretly hoping that Psyker would make some eventually for breakfast.) Damn Esper for seeing through him… but that was besides the point. 

He followed up on the silent dare.

Dissembler blushed, then coughed politely into his fist, as he nudged the sweet treat back with an open palm. “I… you bought it, so you should be the one to eat it.” He tried to put it out of his mind just what he was turning down. 

This time, the displeasure was plain on Esper’s face, lip jutted out to tremble, paired with crocodile tears. (He had fallen for that once and only once. Another story, for another time.) Gingerly, he took the crepe back as if Dissembler’s rejection would crumble it. He was also cranking up the tears. “So, you don't want it? Even though it’s in the shape of a cute little cat?”

The cat was cute…

But, no! He wouldn’t fall prey to whatever whimsy this was. “... it is quite alright.” Though, it was painful to reject, especially since the cute crepe looked soft but flakey, with strawberries as the cat ears that seemed fresh, its fragrance wafting his way as if to entice him and change his mind, Dissembler could not accept it.

So he refused once more.

Esper took one more look at Dissembler, shrugged, and took a hefty, monstrous chomp as if he were a little kid trying to see how much of a cookie he could handle in one fell bite, disregarding entirely that it was a huge breakfast crepe. He began walking, skipping ahead with glee powered by the crepe, as if he wasn’t just about to cry mere moments earlier. The duality of the Diabolic Esper. “Suit yourself, Dissembler.” In between bites, he added, “The strawberries were juicy today.” 

“... I wouldn’t know.” Because he rejected it like a fool. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” He wished he could have enjoyed it too.

Esper simply hummed as Dissembler maneuvered around him to finally start their day.

-

They had only secured half of Psyker’s order. Dissembler made a note about that into some floating window. Esper stayed at his side (mostly) this time. He was able to feel him standing behind him, peering over his shoulder like a child peeking at something while trying not to be caught red handed. 

Come to think of it, he hadn’t even asked Esper what his chore for this outing was since he had tagged along. 

“Esper, what was it that you needed done today?” he asked, eyes still trained on his window as he finished inputting the last of his notes. “Esper?” Turning his head, left then right, he found—what a surprise—the devious troublemaker was nowhere in sight. 

He was beginning to feel a headache forming. Babysitting Esper was not on his to-do for today. 

Though, maybe it was his fault for treating him like a nuisance from the beginning. Dissembler was good at keeping up appearances for the most part (or, at least, he felt he was), but if Esper truly felt unwanted, then maybe he was wandering the town square markets as proof of that. Something about that did make him feel a little guilty… not to mention, Esper may have been the one to shove him out of the house, but it wasn’t exactly fair either that now Dissembler was the one dragging him around however he wanted, with nary a thought for him.

With thoughts about Esper circling about, his feet ended up carrying him away from the Blacksmith and eventually looked up to find himself in front of a humble, but homey looking street food cart. Complete with an obviously handmade wooden sign tacked to the top of the little stall.

As for the menu, they were selling fresh fried corn and it smelled delicious, the scent wrapping around him to propel him even more forward. His stomach fiercely reminded him that he had not eaten and his conscience berated him for turning down a perfectly good crepe. (One that was obviously meant to be shared.)

“Hello, come on over, come on over! I won’t bite none.”

Again, though he hesitated, he found himself ambling closer to the friendly vendor, the close-up view of the corn reminding him of his appetite once again. 

“Want one?” The boisterous merchant asked knowingly, a large grin on his face as he regarded Dissembler’s hungry stare. “Of course you do! Mine’s the best corn this side of the street!”

Dissembler shuffled even closer, eyes raking ravenously over the new set of corn that was being freshly made. “Naturally. It does look rather… appetizing.” 

Maybe the merchant was a mind reader or maybe he was just friendly, but he swiftly patted Dissembler on the shoulder, with enough force to jostle him, and then nudged one corn then a second into his hand. “Ain’t nothing like sharing a good corn on the cob with a dear friend! Tell ya what, I’ll even knock the price down to about half. What do ya say?”

Friend? Was that what Esper was to him? He had always trotted after Mastermind, even during their time as tracers. And he could always rely on Psyker especially more as he grew and matured. But Esper… what could he say about Esper? He had been a quiet child as Time but that was what drew them to one another. Very quickly, he found that it wasn’t that he was quiet but rather he had finally opened up to him as Time, drawing out his more playful side that would morph to the Diabolic Esper that he is today. 

Thinking back on it, they were together often as tracers, weren’t they? But now, he was always chasing after Mastermind. As embarrassing as it was to admit, he was vying for Mastermind’s attention so much that it seemed he neglected Esper and what they had in the process. He faltered as he tried to recall a recent moment in time where they’d spent quality time together like this, and more embarrassing than admitting his admiration for Mastermind, he couldn’t find a recent moment in his memory where it was just the two of them.

If they were truly friends, Dissembler was doing an abysmal job of showing it.

“Lad!” The merchant called. “You’re thinkin’ about it too much. No trouble can withstand a little good food and companionship! Take it!”

Dissembler was startled as he nudged him off with the corn in tow. “Ah, but what about payment?”

“On the house!” 

Dissembler did not like to owe people or have favors hanging over his head. Something about accepting something so obviously generous made it feel like some sort of power play, as if the gift was really a debt to be repaid later. To hold him down, make him feel out of control of the situation. Weak. An ideology he carried with him a little too closely to his heart.

… however, it would be awfully rude to turn down a gift too… Torn, he tried to turn back around to insist on even the lowered price, “But—”

“Kid, you ain’t listen too good. I ain’t having it. Off with ya now, git! Just make sure you tell everyone and your friend there where you got the best corn!”

Without being able to get a single word in, Dissembler was shooed away from the stand, now holding two fresh corn on the cobs. He was standing there at a loss. It then dawned on him, however, that this was the perfect time to show a little good will to Esper. After all, he had been trying to feed him and maybe he didn’t take too well to being rejected either if he were being sincere. 

Now all he had to do was find the man in question… He always appeared just as he realized he was gone so now where was he? 

“He couldn’t have gotten too far…”

That was what Dissembler had muttered to himself several minutes ago. Besides surfing through the townsfolk crowd, he had even gone as far as to return to where they started but the result was the same.

Esper was nowhere to be found.

He all but threw himself onto a nearby, unoccupied bench. “He… wouldn't have left me here alone, would he?” Knowing better, he most likely hadn't. But now Dissembler couldn't stop also considering perhaps he had. It wasn’t like Esper truly enjoyed being around him anyway. Right? “So much for the company today then.” 

The second corn felt awfully heavy in his hand as he ruminated in his thoughts, frowning to himself.

“I suppose I'll… finish alone and perhaps apologize to Esper too once I return.”

The corn still felt heavy, then heavier for but a split second in which Dissembler realized that the stick had barely any corn left, a huge gnashing chunk torn from it no thanks to Esper chomping down on it as he leaned halfway out of a portal, humming with content as he savored the sweetness of the fried vegetable.

… Esper!?

Dissembler just about startled so hard, he almost fell out of his seat. “Esper!”

“Aww, I saw you got the corn earlier,” Esper smirked knowingly, eyelids narrowing with a twinkle of mischief. He ran his tongue over his teeth as he finished his corn. “And then I heard you calling for me. You missed me?” Esper blinked innocently as he all but fell out of the portal like liquid onto Dissembler’s lap shamelessly.

“Wha!?” Was the intelligent reply that left Dissembler's mouth as he fumbled to process what happened in the span of the last few seconds.

Unabashedly, Esper looped his arms around Dissembler’s neck to draw himself closer. “Your corn is going to fall,” he pointed out unhelpfully, not raising a hand to assist him either.

Finally, that seemed to break Dissembler from his momentary stupor as he tried his best to untangle himself from around Esper's limbs. “W-What? Forget the corn! Where have you been?”

Esper whined again in protest, determined to remain where he was—in Dissembler’s lap. “Here and there,” he replied, purposefully vague as he tilted his head this way and that. Mercifully, less vague, he finally continued, “I took Psyker’s order back home. It was going to be too much to carry.”

Huh, well… that was certainly better than being outright abandoned. Still, he had said something rather interesting earlier. “You have my thanks, but whatever did you mean by you saw I had the corn earlier? Were you following me around—”

“I thought you said forget the corn?” asked Esper trying to masterfully dodge his question.

But forget the corn indeed. Now Dissembler was more curious about something else that the time manipulator had said. So he asked, “While Psyker’s order was a ton of parts, between our Dynamo, we could have easily carried it…”

Esper’s faked innocence morphed within a few blinks, the corners of his lips tugging up into a smirk. Saying nothing was as much as an answer. He tilted his head in silence, as if to say, “Go on?”

“Thus, that leads me to an earlier question I regretfully did not get to ask earlier. Just what do you have planned?”

Esper’s smirk was nearly ear to ear now. “And what makes you so sure I have something planned? What if I was simply being thoughtful? What if I’m simply enjoying time with my favorite doctor?” Esper purred as he leaned in closer.

Blushing, Dissembler held up his free hand in enough time to halt his advance, and scowled in response. “When aren't you up to something?” This time, he nudged him back more.

And Esper went willingly, letting the motion of being pushed back transfer into falling back into a portal with ease only to reappear on the bench to Dissembler’s left. “You wound me.” He grabbed Dissembler’s corn too. 

“I am a masterful and capable medic, you’ll be perfectly fine,” Dissembler insisted with dripping sarcasm as he stressed the syllables, all while saving his corn from the greedy clutches of Esper. Finally, he began nibbling his share, ignoring Esper’s watchful gaze. 

“By the time you finish, we should see about your errand. Plenty of time!”

Plenty of time indeed. But for what he couldn't figure out for the life of him. Once again, he was the one being dragged along for the ride. Dissembler did the only thing he could in this situation: sigh around mouthfuls of corn. Once finished, he stood and held out an impatient hand towards Esper, “Shall we then?”

-

Afterwards, with their previous interaction fresh, it seemed to Dissembler as if they came to some silent agreement. Side by side this time, they traversed the town's bustling square. Together, they picked up or completed whatever errands Dissembler demanded. Together, Dissembler let himself be whisked this way and that for whatever shiny or delectable thing that caught Esper’s eye. If Esper strayed too far ahead, he made sure to purposely slow down for Dissembler—even if Dissembler couldn't get him to admit it. Together, they stayed side by side.

Eventually, the pair slowed to a stop as they came across the mailbox near the center of the town. Recalling he had some things he needed sent out, he began rummaging through his inventory. Soon enough, Dissembler finished mailing off some letters and items when he whirled on his heel realizing that Esper was distracted. With one look, he could see Esper was enamored with the shop next to the mail.

“Cake shop?”

Much like a child, Esper tugged at the end of Dissembler’s shirt hem in the direction he wanted. The direction being the entrance to said shop. “Let's go in! Let's go!” 

Warily, Dissembler heaved a sigh but it was all more for show rather than actual irritation. “How do you have any room? Surely you have consumed enough calories for the both of us today, forget sugar.” He followed Esper’s gaze that lingered on the decorative sign, bidding passersby to come sample today’s selections. “Well, this is truly the only real stop you seem to be making. So, why not.”

In a deadpan voice, Esper replied, “Calories do not exist in the void,” and moved on without further elaboration.

-

Despite being under the impression that they were here to pick up an order and go, Dissembler found himself cajoled into a booth against his own will. (That’s a lie, he was desperate to take a peek at the colorful cakes on display. And… maybe a little hopeful to try one or two, if he were being honest.) The plush seats were comfy, and the table they sat at was cozy and tucked away somewhere in the back. Esper had made sure that he was seated and then disappeared again, insisting he stay put. It wasn’t as if he were going to bolt the minute he was out of sight!

This time, Dissembler didn’t fear being abandoned either, knowing Esper would return. Knowing that they were together.

Still… he sighed to himself as he peered out the window, watching a bumbling but happy crowd of folk pass by: a family of two skipping by hand in hand, a worker stopping and bending over to catch his breath while his coworker rubbed his back soothingly, a group of friends talking animatedly, their eyes bright, a couple tucked away on a bench, leaned in close, sharing secrets meant for them alone as they drew closer…

And then, “I’ve got cake,” Esper announced upon returning.

Though his eyes lingered on the embarrassing display of the couple, Esper’s presence drew Dissembler from his people watching, gaze lifting up to see Esper had secured not one, not even two or three, but four different slices of cakes. All spongy and soft, artfully decorated with colorful but complementary colors, adorned with various fitting assortments of toppings. But what Dissembler noticed after was that they weren’t packaged to go. The serving plates and forks Esper had nabbed suggested otherwise. With some reluctance, Dissembler muttered, “Whatever happened to the cake I thought you had ordered ahead of now?”

“I have it already,” he answered as if that settled things.

“Esper,” Dissembler dragged the syllables out, scolding him lightly because it definitely did not settle things. And of course he refused to elaborate.

“Let’s worry about these instead. Then we can head back.” Esper suggested as he took the booth seat across from Dissembler, dodging the subject with finesse.

As soon as Esper took a seat across from him, Dissembler could feel his cheeks warm up, darkening a light pink. The way they were sitting certainly suggested… something to the outside eye. Just as he was about to suggest against it, the couple he saw from earlier walked up to an adjacent window, just a few paces from where they were, pointing at the displays, distracting him. 

Esper, oblivious to whatever inner turmoil struck Disssembler, happily laid out the samples of cake: dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate, and strawberry. His gaze flitted from the plates up to Dissembler’s matching magenta hues. “Well? Which are you going to try first?” 

Did friends normally take friends to booths, alone, sit them down, and sample cakes together?

Distractedly, Dissembler shook his head as he averted his gaze. “I’m… not sure,” he lied, eyes traitorously darting back down to the strawberry cake. 

“One of the chocolates, maybe?”

He took a peek at them, and his eyes fell on the dark chocolate. Too bitter for his tastes even if it was healthy. “Dark chocolate is healthy for you.” He recited with dismay, as if trying to convince himself. “The stronger the cacao percentage the healthier it is.” While prattling off its benefits, Dissembler did his best to keep his nose from wrinkling up at it. 

Enjoying Dissembler’s chattering, Esper nodded along with Dissembler as went off about the wealth of knowledge behind the science of cacao. As he listened, he rested his cheek in a palm and, with his fork, took a generous helping of the slice of dark chocolate. After tasting it, he made a deciding little noise, and shrugged. “It’s not that bitter.” Esper cut off another small piece for himself to reaffirm his findings, “But it’s not super sweet either.” 

Surely that would be something suited for Psyker. 

Opposite the bitter dark chocolate laid the more than sweet enough white chocolate slice. A flavor Dissembler could appreciate from time to time when he didn’t feel too guilty for eating what felt like a week’s worth of sugar in one treat.  And while he could be partial to it, he knew a fiend for white chocolate when he saw one, smiling as Esper all but took a chunk and bit into it. “White chocolate, your preferred choice.”

Esper all but lit up as he immediately helped himself to seconds. Fork in his mouth, he smiled, lips curling up in pleasure at having his favorite treat. Esper then turned his gaze towards Dissembler, expectant as the soft smile warped into a knowing smirk, “You like it too.”

That was true, but… it wasn’t his favorite.

“It’s a good flavor,” Dissembler said instead, trying to be agreeable. 

There was that same flash of disappointment that ran across Esper’s features, the smirk faltering for a second, his eyes not as mirthful as mere seconds ago. He shrugged, then flashed a teasing grin, nodding his way. “Not going to have some?” He held up the plate so it was at eye-level, for Dissembler to take in all its white chocolate glory.

That he would also not be having. So instead of an answer, he replied, tone scolding once more, “I’m inclined to believe you just wanted their samples instead of doing any real shopping.” 

Playfully, Esper draped an arm against his forehead as he leaned back in the length of his side of the booth, all obvious dramatics and exaggerated flare. He then cried out, “I’m wounded again! Medic!” And after his performance, he cracked an eye open, lips curled up enough to flash a grin full of teeth Dissembler’s way. As if he were proud.

“Stop that, you are fine.” Dissembler rolled his eyes, but smiled despite himself. There was a hint of affection in his tone, but Dissembler squashed that observation further back in the recess of his thoughts. “Medic on scene, confirmed. Subject is plenty healthy.” Despite himself, he played along.

Esper beamed brightly for it.

He then turned his attention to the remaining flavors: strawberry and… Mastermind’s favorite, milk chocolate. He couldn’t help himself. Immediately, he went into a spiel, “Did you know, Mastermind once wouldn’t leave the confines of his lab? But the moment he knew there was milk chocolate outside of his lab’s door, he appeared at the door in record time.” Dissembler’s eyes lit up as he recalled the memory just as fondly, he rested his chin atop the back of his folded hands, elbows on the table. “I’d never see the lazy man move so fast!” 

Esper slumped back into his seat. “Is that right?”

“Did you also know, one time Psyker made dinner with onions and Mastermind loathes onions to such a degree that he dumped the food onto my plate. I then watched him escape the kitchen, bolting away with a disgusting amount of milk chocolate cake slices instead!” 

“Hmm.” 

“There was also this situation, back when we were all Tracers still, he told me that he ate himself sick on milk chocolate candies because the village dumped a basketful onto Psyker and he shoved it off onto Mastermind.” He prattled on and on, able to, too fondly, recall moments that featured Mastermind and his delight for chocolate. “And, then there was—”

“Dissembler!”

He had never heard Esper say his name like that. Or, at least, not often. So when Esper called for him in such a way, a harsh tone laced with a growl, Dissembler froze up, startled mid-sentence. All he could do was watch Esper move at what felt like lightning speed as he made his way over to the other side of the table.

Esper then crowded Dissembler on his side of the booth, forcing his back to meet the wall, leaving him no space. He’d slammed both his hands on the wall against either side of the medic’s head, effectively trapping him. His head was hanging low for but a second. Then, after lifting his head, when he met eyes with Dissembler, he leaned in even closer. “I have to share you with Mastermind even now? When he’s not even here?” Esper glowered, teeth baring with displeasure into a scowl.

On the list of all the things he figured Esper to be upset about, this was certainly not on there. 

“Esper?! I-I…” Clearly, the rest of his thoughts did not catch up with him, hardly processing what was said. 

“All day, I’ve had to watch you deny things that you want. Things that you like!” Esper snarled, caging Dissembler even further. “I placed our obvious favorites—yours included—and when it’s down to yours and Masterind’s favorite. All you can do is talk, talk, talk about him!” 

Dissembler shriveled back, doing his best to figure out how to put as much space between them.

Then it hit him.

Esper couldn’t possibly be that annoyed about Mastermind. But then, Dissembler gave pause to reconsider it. And if it wasn't that… there was a frighteningly more embarrassing topic to broach. So, instead the doctor opted for a safer option, he asked, “... what is this really about?”

Surprisingly, that made Esper back off some, but not before fixing Dissembler with a hard glare. Then, something—wicked inspiration maybe—struck him. His features turned mischievous again, his grin growing, as he eased back even more, giving Dissembler room.

Suddenly afraid at the abrupt change, Dissembler warily asked, “Esper?”

“Here.” Esper tugged the cakes over, and with his fork, cut off a piece of strawberry cake. 

Being trapped was one thing. This was much worse.

The feigned innocence masked his devilish intentions as Esper smiled coyly, holding the fork to Dissembler’s trembling lips. “Say, ‘ah!’”

Something in Dissembler blew a fuse, his cheeks immediately flamed red as he waved his hands in quiet protest. “There's… no need for such an embarrassing display—”

“I'm between you and the exit,” Esper reminded him in a singsong voice. 

“Surely you know this is… this is…”

Nudging the cake forward, he encouraged Dissembler to eat. As he feigned his cluelessness, he also teased, as if he had no clue, “This is?” 

This is what people dating do! But Dissembler was not going to admit that aloud. “This is mortifying! And I simply do not want people to form opinions about this…” 

He drawled ever so slowly, “Oh, we wouldn’t want to give people the wrong opinions.” If anything, Esper seemed to be getting a kick out of this. Lips twitching with amusement, a laugh threatening to escape, as he did his best to preserve his faux innocence. “And what opinions are those, Dissembler?”

Admitting it should not be so hard, and yet here he was, refusing to state a simple, objective fact. (... it was purely objective, wasn’t it?) He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but only his jaw hung open. As to not look like a fool, he closed it, and tucked his chin into himself as he pulled back, warily watching Esper as he weighed his options. Stating a plain or simple fact or eating the cake.

Dissembler leaned forward enough to accept the cake from Esper’s fork.

And Esper radiated pure glee, eyes crinkling with happiness for his victory. “See, wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

It wasn’t so hard. (At least, not any harder than admitting whatever thoughts were running through his mind currently.) And even better, he’d finally got to sample their strawberry and cream special. It was truly a treat and such a delight. Dissembler’s brows knitted with bliss as he sighed, content. It wasn’t a strawberry crepe, but perhaps this was even better. He’d been about to search for more when he realized Esper still had the fork. Before Esper could try to feed him again, he hastily offered, “I’ll eat the cake… and you don’t spoon feed it to me.”

“It’s a fork, actually,” Esper shrugged playfully, old habits of pushing Dissembler’s buttons kicking in. “But, deal!” Agreement secured, the time hopper passed Dissembler the fork, and then he waited.

Accepting the fork, Dissembler eyed the cake, then glanced at the beaming Esper beside him. “... you don’t have to watch. It wasn’t part of the stipulation.” He reminded his counterpart.

“It wasn’t,” Esper chirped, clearly in better spirits now, “but can’t I want to sit beside my favorite medic?”

The endearing lilt to the pet name made Dissembler blush again. Grumbling, he replied, “I am your only medic.” And decided not to argue anymore, digging into the heavenly cake in front of him. 

Dissembler, too engulfed with enjoying the burst of fruit and sweet flavors mixed just right, missed the way Esper’s expressions finally softened, settling on something almost fond. 

-

Despite their agreement, Esper still tried to feed him more of the cake and to his embarrassment and his own surprise, he allowed it… until he noticed customers filtering in, some wandering to the back to take empty seats and booths. After all, Esper, though persistent, could be very convincing. That was how he found himself often swept away by whatever notion the time hopper was dead set on. Perfectly illustrated by today. Thankfully, their outing and chores were now marked complete. They would be heading home shortly. Which Dissembler noted with a hint of sadness. Perhaps Dissembler simply missed going out, falling into the same trap and habits of Mastermind, neglecting to leave his work for a moment. Regardless, he would be willing to do something like this again… should Esper so choose to, of course. 

He was not blushing. Certainly not at the idea of doing this again with Esper… or for any other reason.

Dissembler refused to amuse the thought any longer, resuming his earlier people watching as he waited for Esper to finish up inside the shop. Sure enough, he appeared by his side eventually.

Getting back home took no time at all. They didn’t use Esper’s portals. Dissembler was quite relieved as it prolonged the end to their enjoyable day, finding themselves talking aimlessly about this and that. 

Still, time passed and eventually they found themselves back in the comforts of their own home. 

“Psyker! Mastermind! We brought cake!” 

At that, Dissembler peeked around from the corner of the living room, watching as Esper left the sweet delights offerings on the table. “So, you really did get cake then.” He murmured, mostly to himself as he approached the kitchen table. 

Loud enough for Esper to have heard however. “Did you really think I just dragged you into that shop to be a cake leech?”

“Yes.”

As if on cue, Mastermind rounded another corner to poke his head in, scanning the room for said cake. “What did you get?” 

Esper’s brows knitted, perturbed to see that perhaps Dissembler wasn’t exaggerating from earlier. “Dissembler, I truly think he has a bloodhound’s nose just for sweets.”

Shrugging, he replied, “I was being truthful when I mentioned that earlier.” 

Straggling in last, came Psyker who added, “It’s not his nose. He just has that damn cat cube,” and as if he were raised with no manners, jerked his thumb back rudely at the bouncing Apocalypse nearby, pinging as if to alert Mastermind. “And if it’s not cameras, I’m pretty sure he just coded Apocalypse to detect whenever cake enters the house.” And then murmured none too quietly to himself however the hell he managed that. 

Mastermind flushed brightly to hear everyone talking about him as if he weren’t right there! “I am not listening to any of you. I am going to take this cake and I am going to leave.”

“No ya ain’t. Don’t be rude, they just got back after being gone doing your chores.”

“S-Shut it, Psyker!” 

As Psyker and Mastermind went about their scheduled bickering, their noise fading into the background comfortably, Dissembler set to divvying up the slices. (Yes they just had cake samples earlier. That didn’t mean he couldn’t have one more measly little slice.) But found a surprise—instead of their usually default safe milk chocolate flavor (as they all more or less enjoyed it), today it was vanilla, adorned with strawberries. 

Mastermind walked away from the still bickering brawler, ignoring his protests, and peered over Dissembler’s shoulder. A loud whine escaped him as he stepped back, dejected, and exclaimed, “Only vanilla? Ow!” 

Psyker tugged on Mastermind’s ear playfully and cleared his throat. “Thanks, ya two.” 

Bashfully, Mastermind muttered thanks as well, sullenly accepting a plate from Dissembler.

Eventually, everyone cleared out from the kitchen, going about their separate ways when Esper appeared in front of him through a portal. He was startled only a little this time. “E-Esper?” Before he knew it, a swift hand yanked him into the safety of his portal and when he blinked, found himself in the back of their house. Truly, he would never get used to surprise portaling. 

Once he was less dazed, he looked around and realized that they were at the garden, his garden. His favorite little spot to get away. It seemed nice and quiet, stars twinkling brightly above through the lush of greens hanging overhead. Looking this way and that, he tried to locate his favorite troublemaker, but to no avail. “I had thought that the surprises were over today,” Dissembler commented to seemingly no one in particular.

“Nope!” came Esper’s distorted voice somewhere above him. A portal blinked open, and he fell out a few paces to Dissembler’s right and nudged him to the terrace’s stairs and up to their quaint little outside seating, equipped with a few chairs and round table. “One more surprise!”

Normally, Dissembler would make a fuss here, but he reigned it in, finding himself genuinely curious. What sort of surprise could the Diabolic Esper have if he were securing them back here, just the two of them it seemed. No irritation was found in his voice, instead there was a genuine need to figure it out as the doctor eagerly questioned, “What surprise could that be?”

Like magic, Esper waved a hand and with the help of some mana and his portal, sparkled a box out of nowhere onto the table. A box that Dissembler didn’t remember carrying back (or recall Esper hauling from one of his storage portals). It was simple, with a blue laced bow. “Open it and see,” was Esper’s reply. 

He could feel his heart rate increase ever so slightly. Strange. There was no need for that. After all, it was just a box. Stepping forward, Dissembler peered at Esper’s eager face and then snapped his eyes back down to the mystery gift. With neat precision, he tugged on one end of the bow’s fluffed ribbon, undoing it, and with his free hand removed the lid. “... cake?” 

Within the packaged box, there sat another delectable amount of calories. But this one looked different from the strawberry cake sample he had eaten earlier. “Is this a strawberry cheesecake?” Dissembler’s mouth watered at the idea of it. Cake was well and good, but cheesecake was simply divine… No one was aware but he would sneak out to town to secure his own slice, leaving in it in the fridge long enough just so it wouldn’t melt then retrieving it to devour it whole. 

… no one was aware except Esper, apparently. Was anything sacred around this damned house?! 

“I promised,” Esper began, biting back a laugh, “I never touched any of the secret cheesecake you ran out to get.” As if that was supposed to make him feel better.

At that, Dissembler flushed, realizing that he had not only been caught but also exposed. So much for his super secret cheesecake. Instead of saying anything, he returned his attention to the cheesecake and freed it from the packaging. Tentatively, he took the fork that Esper so graciously provided and took a small nibble, to at least preserve some of his dignity. 

But did dignity really matter when there was no one watching? 

Dissembler took a hefty second bite and closed his eyes, relishing in the taste of it. 

“Well?” Esper asked, voice practically singing as he stretched out the syllables.

Begrudgingly, he took another bite then two, and sideglanced his way. Despite his enthusiasm while eating, he murmured lowly, “... it is delicious.”  

“Am I forgiven then?”

Already devouring more than half, he put his plate down to put on the illusion of self-control and turned to Esper, hands in his lap. He could have the rest later. For now, he had a single question he wanted answered. So he said, “Only if you tell me what the occasion was for. What prompted this?” 

Esper looked away, suddenly interested in one of many plants that Dissembler had nurtured instead.

“Well?”

“You weren’t supposed to ask,” he replied, dejection exaggerated as he whined. “Or you were supposed to remember.”

It was neither of their birthdays, and getting a cake just for him made no logical sense, so… what important thing was Esper trying to celebrate or commemorate that he apparently had forgotten? He tried to dig in the recesses of his mind but came up with nothing that he could mark as important. Playing along, he asked, “Remember… ?”

“The day we were still tracers, this was the day we promised to be partners.” Leaning forward, elbow on the table, hand cupping his cheek, Esper gazed far off in the distance still, as if he was recalling the day like it were yesterday. 

Oh. 

Well that was embarrassing to now be reminded of. Suddenly, he felt guilty for eating the cake when he clearly didn’t remember something so important to Esper. Willing his cheeks to stop darkening, he looked down at his hands still folded in his lap. 

“You don’t remember? That’s alright, I can remember for the both of us.” 

“I… I do remember,” he struggled after some time, as if he was going deep in the depths of memories long locked away, “I remember.” Finally, he looked at the still smiling Esper and nodded, “It was here too, that day, wasn’t it?”

Esper hummed in affirmation, pleased. 

Dissembler took that as a cue to continue, “And… you were helping me start the garden here.”

To help the struggling Dissembler, Esper offered a piece, “Back then, as tracers, Arc was too busy helping Psych with his silly little stone search. So, I was around and helped. You told me that I was your assistant now.”

“And you said, ‘If I’m your assistant, then let’s be partners.’ I made you shake hands on it.” 

Across from Dissembler, Esper was practically beaming, nodding along as Dissembler finished the memory. “That’s right! I thought I was going to have to take us back down memory lane.” With a devilish smirk, he added, “Literally.” 

“Not necessary!” Dissembler cringed, resisting the urge to bring a hand to his temple at the thought of it. He returned his focus onto the present, “Well…” Dissembler decided to fill the silence he let linger by stealing one more bite from his cake. It wasn’t enough time for him to stall to figure out what to say to such a gesture as this. But he did recall one particular feeling that he never got to appropriately address with Esper. And well, this seemed like the opportune time. “I have been a rather… neglectful partner.”

“You can say that again.”

“I will not!” Dissembler exclaimed, forcing back a flush. This was hard enough to admit without Esper’s teasing. He pushed on, bashfully adding, “I will… of course do my best to ensure that such a thing does not happen again.” 

His response must have pleased Esper with the way his eyes twinkled. “Good enough for me.” And like the little thief he was, using his free hand resting on the table, Esper plucked a fresh strawberry from his cake. “You know… you should really stop denying yourself what you want or like. I don’t care if you try to match my feelings or agree with everyone. We can all see through it, you know.”

Dissembler definitely parsed the unsaid I can see through you.

Because of course he could.

The thief continued his ministrations, stealing yet another strawberry that he chomped into, and then tacked on, “I spent all day, poking in and checking into the shop every now and then to see how far they were coming along with the cake. Though, if you couldn’t admit it to yourself, I was going to drop the cake idea and abandon you there.” 

Dissembler couldn’t tell if that was a joke or not. Probably not, knowing Esper. “Well, that’s awfully mean of you.” He crossed his arms, refusing to pout. 

“What’s mean is forgetting about our partner promise.” At this point, Esper was helping himself to the cake. But it was a rather big slice, so he let it slide. (And, maybe it was fine, he was a horrible friend and partner to Esper earlier.) He chewed around his second piece and then those lips curled up into his infamous devilish smirk. “I want our gardening days back.”

“B-But… those are on Wednesday usually, and I go with Mastermind to—”

“Gardening days and we share your secret cheesecake from now on. Or I tell everyone.”

“You… !” Dissembler exclaimed, frustration leaking out now. “We will be negotiating this!”

Before negotiations could be started, Apocalypse interrupted them. “Dinner! Dinner! Dinner!” He rushed from the entrance to the house, beeping at them demandingly. Beaming at the sight of Esper, he flew into his arms for a hug and made a sound akin to a cat’s purr. 

Disgusted at the sight, Dissembler commented, “Mastermind’s right. You really do spoil that thing.” 

“This is why Apocalypse doesn’t like you or Psyker.” 

“Dinner!” chirped Apocalypse, happily snuggling into Esper’s arms.

In disbelief, Dissembler tilted his head at Apocalypse. “I also cannot believe Mastermind was too lazy to come get us.”

Having completed its command, Apocalypse beeped once at Esper, ignored Dissembler, and flew back towards the house. 

“Spoiled cat… Come, we should go before he returns.” Placing his palms flat on the table, he pushed himself up to stand.

Esper stood too, reaching out across the table to Dissembler. “Wait, Dissembler.” He grabbed his wrist, tugging him forward suddenly. 

Dissembler, helpless to do anything else, followed the motion and found his breath caught in his throat at the sudden close proximity from Esper’s face. Remembering to breathe, he almost whispered, “W-What… what is it, Esper?” He couldn’t possibly be about to… ?

But maybe he was, Esper was only drawing closer and closer.

Flinching, Dissembler screwed his eyes shut, face aflame, heart beating fiercely in his chest in anticipation. He felt a familiar gloved hand against his cheek and did his best to keep the whine from escaping. As if he could barely process the fact that Esper was touching him in such a way, his mind nearly short circuited to feel something near his cheek. He braced himself for what he thought would come next, doing his best to keep his lips from trembling. 

“Dissembler,” Esper called, voice low just for him.

Despite hearing his name, Dissembler shook his head, refusing to open his eyes. If Esper didn’t just do whatever he was going to do, the medic feared that his heart would leap through his chest. He didn’t know whether to lean into Esper’s palm, realizing how much he enjoyed the touch or whether to flinch away, unsure if he could accept… a sensual notion from Esper currently. (And if he was truly so against it—both the touch and possible kiss—he could have pushed him away but had yet to. And the fact that he was anticipating it, dare he say, hoping for it now was a whole dialogue he was going to have to mentally unpack some day with himself, but that day was not presently!)

“Dissembler,” the wicked portal hopper murmured, a breath away now, “Dissembler.”

And here it was, he was going to kiss him, wasn’t he! 

But instead of the lips he expected, he felt fingers trace the corner of his mouth and then break off to the other side of his cheek, currently not resting in Esper’s palm. Warily, he cracked open one eye and saw that Esper was pulling away. Breathing a sigh of relief (and ignoring the disappointment he felt clawing at his chest) he then opened both eyes fully and tried to shake the tremble from his voice, “W-What?”

“You had something on your face, that’s all!” Esper lifted his thumb to show the whipped cream he had wiped from the corner of his mouth. 

Was that it.

“Esper… !”

“Dissembler,” Esper sang back. And like the devil he was, he made a show of licking off the cream from his thumb suggestively.

Diabolic Esper was a horrible menace and he was going to cancel this partnership immediately. He filed that thought away for later, for now, he wanted nothing more than to escape. That was more than enough alone time with Esper. “I… I am leaving!” He whirled around, trying to put as much space in between them as possible now. “You better come too, I will not be responsible for your head if Psyker finds you skipped out!” 

Just as Dissembler said that, Mastermind appeared, peeking around the growth of a particularly tall plant. “Um…”

“Oh, M-Mastermind… we were just on our way.”

“Your face… is red, Dissembler.” Anxiously, Mastermind eyed the smirk Esper was shooting and then returned his narrowed eyes to Dissembler. “I will… leave you two be, and see you at the dinner table.” And just as soon as he appeared, Mastermind left with a startling haste. 

Dissembler wanted to crawl into a hole besides his dear plants and cover it up, never to be seen again.

Sympathetically, Esper patted the disheveled Dissembler’s shoulder. Unapologetically he then cackled, a laugh deep and loud resounding across the estate. “So much for people forming the wrong opinions, hmm? I think Mastermind is forming some of his own already.” 

Dissembler was definitely ending his partnership with Esper. 

(And possibly Esper himself.)