#Defending Jacob fanfiction
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event | kinkmas 2023
prompt | sex shop
pairing | sex shop owner!andy barber x innocent!reader
warnings | age gap (reader sees andy as a total dilf.) reader is very innocent and also so scared to be there (understandably.) soft!andy, comforting vibes, he talks her through everything. humiliation kink is strong in this one. no real smut, just suggestive themes (sex shop, toys, talks of solo and guided masturbation.)
word count | 987
an | this little story is dedicated to andy's #1 girl, @worksby-d 🥺 dest i super hope you enjoy our favorite dilf here!! i tried to make him the big warm teddy bear we know and love, with a little hint of naughtiness shining through at the end hehe <3 happy holidays to you friend!!
imagine going to a sex shop for the very first time, aalllll by yourself, and meeting a very handsome dilf who helps you pick out your very first big girl toy 😏
parking as far away as possible (it’s at the end of a little strip mall in a tiny little town you’ve never been to before, you wanted to make sure you wouldn’t bump into anyone you knew!) spending like 10 minutes just sitting in your car hyping yourself up, you’re so nervous but you’ve wanted to do this for so long 🥺
eventually you build up your courage and make your way up the parking lot, to the front door of the place. a little silvery bell rings as you enter. you’re surprised at how clean and neat the place is. you weren’t sure what to expect, but this is better than you had been hoping. it’s not too big, a single large room with a counter in the middle. at first glance, you're alone, no other customers or employees in sight
the store has different sections with hanging signs directing you where to go. you can feel heat rising in your cheeks as you pass the racks of lingerie and intimates. just as you make it over to the toys for her section, you hear something from across the little shop. looking over, you see someone has entered through a doorway in the back. a man, but you don’t get too long of a look. your eyes quickly drop to the ground as you feel your embarrassment worsening
please don’t come over here. please don’t come over here. please don’t-
your silent prayers are ignored as footsteps approach. you take a step back from the wall of products, forcing yourself to look up at the stranger. your jaw almost drops at the sight of him, oh god, you’re thinking to yourself, why is he hot 😭
there andy stands in all of his glory, the epitome of dilfy deliciousness with his worn navy t-shirt and scruffy beard. scratching his head a bit awkwardly, he greets you, “hey, sorry. didn’t meant to startle you. can i help you find anything?”
your heart’s pounding in your throat as you look around stupidly before your eyes return to the absolute unit of a man before you. you blink like a deer in the headlights. oh my god. he works here, you’re a little slow to put things together
andy sees your surprise, letting out a gentle chuckle. “i’m the owner,” he explains. “you okay, honey? you look like you’ve seen a ghost”
a part of you knows this is an extremely sketchy situation. you’re alone in a sex shop with a dude probably twice your age (who apparently owns the place), out in a town you can’t remember the name of, with nothing to defend yourself except your two bare hands (which are now shaking)
but there’s something about the man before you that you just find so… warm? disarming? (…attractive? 😳) the gentle smile on his face, the way he softens his voice when he senses your nervousness...
you’re a little ball of conflicting feelings, half nerves and half head-over-heels for this unknown man. again, you blink, unable to find your voice to respond
“you’re alright, just take it easy,” he tries to help you relax. “this your first time in a place like this?” all you can manage is a nod. he gives you an understanding smile, “that’s perfectly fine. i’m here to help. can you tell me what you’re looking for, sweetheart?”
your eyes glance quickly back at the wall of toys in front of you before returning to him. he must see the increasing humiliation on your face. “u-um…” you’re finally able to stutter, “i-i don’t… i’m not… i guess i'm…”
he’s so patient and attentive it’s only making the butterflies in your tummy worse 😭 “not sure where to start?” he finishes for you. when you nod, he hums thoughtfully, “that’s okay, honey. do you have anything already that you like? is this for you to use on your own?"
you grit your teeth, nodding through the waves of embarrassment. “d-don’t have anything, sir. looking for something to start out with”
“i see,” he nods, looking over the selection on the wall before the two of you. “a bullet is a great beginner toy. simple, quiet, different levels of intensity to fit your needs. do you like clitoral stimulation?”
you have to fight yourself to keep from rubbing your thighs together right then and there 😩 something about the way he’s talking you through everything is sooo 🥲🥲 a feeling of dread hits as you realize you’re already getting wet
you force out a nod. he looks at a few options before picking out a small, discreet box. offering it to you, he explains, “this one’s my favorite. it’s nice and smooth, hard to hurt yourself with. rechargeable, medical-grade silicon. six levels of intensity. and the pink matches your nails,” he says sweetly, nodding at the shiny polish on the tips of your fingers
you clumsily accept the box, looking it over briefly. “there are instructions on the inside. the internet can be helpful too,” he suggests. the burning in your tummy worsens as he sees right through you, sniffing your complete innocence and inexperience with ease
“o-okay. this looks good. thank you,” you agree
“of course,” he nods with a sheepish smile. “once you get comfortable with that, we can work you up to something more sophisticated” you never implied that you’d be returning to him, but now that he’s said it, you know you couldn’t refuse. “and if you have any trouble, you can always come see me. i got a room in the back, we can take some time and find what works for you”
i might have to write that follow-up visit someday this is making me 🫠🫠
#eun's writing#kinkmas 2023#andy barber#andy barber smut#andy barber fanfiction#andy barber headcanon#andy barber drabble#andy barber blurb#andy barber imagine#andy barber x you#andy barber x reader#andy barber x y/n#defending jacob#defending jacob fanfiction#chris evans#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans smut
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But The Flesh Is Always Weak
Summary: It’s been a week since Andy broke things off, but to you, it feels like a lifetime.
Characters: Professor!Andy Barber x Student!Reader.
Words: 3K.
Warnings: teacher/student relationship, possessive behaviour, unhinged behaviour, gaslighting, manipulation, a face slap, throat grabbing, hate sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), forced orgasm, throat fucking, 18+. MINORS DNI.
A/N: The last visit to these two… well, for now. Thought I’d had better get round to posting this! You can read the rest of their story here. Beta: @princessmisery666 but all the general bullshit is entirely mine. While likes are gold, feedback is golden. Please support our content creators by sharing our work.
It’s only been a week since Andy broke things off, citing, “You should be dating boys your own age,” but it feels like a lifetime. A lifetime spent in hell.
Every passing minute hurts. Every waking thought is plagued by his words and his touch on your skin. You drive yourself crazy, crying to the point of exhaustion before you wake up and do it all over again.
You can’t eat; you can’t sleep. Your chest aches with every breath you take without him, and quite often as you clutch at it in the midst of another breakdown, you wonder if dying from a broken heart is possible.
You shuffle through each day like a zombie, mindless with no real destination in mind— just wandering around waiting for something to distract you.
It’s not until you get an email from him nine days in— addressed not only to you, but the Dean— that the agony seems to lessen slightly at the sight of his name.
“I’m reaching out as you haven’t been to class for the past week and a half. I’m growing concerned for your wellbeing as this is just not like you. Please get in touch as soon as possible.”
It becomes an olive branch that you obsess over, desperately trying to seek out any hidden message he could be attempting to send. But after days of searching, you have nothing to show for your efforts and you begin to resent him.
Anger bubbles up in place of your heartache— a strange sense of still needing him like you need air, but at the same time, wishing you could hurt him just as badly as he has hurt you.
You can’t believe he has the audacity to show concern like he’s not solely responsible for shattering your world into a million tiny irreparable pieces, without a shred of noticeable apathy.
-
The driving force that propels you to attend his class surprises even you. You wake before your alarm, eager to dress in the outfit you excitedly picked the night before. Your stomach flutters as you walk through campus, feeling the most clear-headed you have in days. You can’t wait to see him.
You feel a little giddy at the prospect of seeing evidence of the breakup on his face— perhaps red-rimmed eyes or melancholy preventing his smile from reaching his lips, but he somehow looks better now than before.
He doesn’t bat an eyelid when you slink into the hall while he’s mid-speech. He barely acknowledges your presence when you hand him your overdue essay; a secret love note slipped in between the pages just like you used to do.
But what stings the most is that he doesn’t stop you from leaving when class is over. It’s like you don’t exist. Like the past nine months meant nothing, along with the litany of promises he’s already broken.
He’s doing fine and you’re not? How is that fair? your mind screams as you glance over your shoulder, catching Rebecca hovering around his desk like a common house fly, buzzing around shit.
You pause in the doorway, your stomach dropping like lead when Andy finally approaches her, and places his hand delicately on her arm.
And as he flashes her a wide grin, all of the momentum inside you deflates— the hurt and pain he has caused you morphs into pure rage.
-
The following evening, you know he’ll be alone at home. Five times you try to talk yourself out of going, but the overriding consensus eventually wins— he won’t be able to turn you away on his own doorstep. You just want to talk to him.
Maybe ask if he’s replaced you with Rebecca yet.
You pull up outside his neighbors’ and switch off the engine, gathering up the courage to get out when you notice movement at the front door. Andy steps outside, but he’s not alone.
You’ve only seen her— his wife— in photographs, and you actually hate that she’s more beautiful in person. Part of you wonders why Andy would betray her, but then you remember all of the horror stories he would tell you.
Her beauty is only skin deep.
From the things you know about their relationship— how strained it is— it surprises you when he wraps his arm around her shoulder, leaning in to kiss her hair as they walk to his car. They’re laughing, smiling without a care in the world. From this vantage point, they look and act like newlyweds. You feel sick as you keep watching, noticing the way he gently pats her ass when she climbs into the passenger seat.
The same passenger seat you’ve sat in countless times on drives back from secret trysts in dingy motel rooms, while your cunt still throbs.
Just before he gets into the car, he looks over his shoulder and for a wild moment, you swear he locks eyes with you from across the street.
-
He’s brought her here. The same place you used to have dinner. For a moment it feels like a knife wound to the heart that he would have the audacity to share this with her, but then you realise he has to be sending you a message. He must know you’ve followed him and he’s trying to communicate with you covertly so as not to draw attention to it.
Your stomach flutters, feeling a heavy sense of relief wash over you.
He still cares. He still wants you.
For an hour, you sit in the parking lot before you regret drinking so much soda on your way here, needing desperately to pee. You know you could go to the mall across the street, but your feet pull you towards the restaurant before you can stop them.
You make your way to the restroom, careful to avoid their table, and just as you’re about to leave, you spot Andy making his way towards you. Your heart leaps into your chest and you double back, waiting for the moment he’ll come bursting in, overwhelmed with joy at the sight of you.
Nothing but silence follows, except for the dull thud of the men’s door opening and closing.
Naughty. He wants you to go to him.
Giggling, you sneak out of the women’s and push open the door to the men’s restroom, confused a little when you don’t spot Andy at the urinals. You’re about to retreat when you hear his familiar whistle, remembering all the mornings after the night before where you’d wake up to the sound of him in the en suite, whistling his favorite tune.
He knows you’re listening. Dropping breadcrumbs in the hopes you’ll follow the trail right to his feet. And as you slip through the small gap between the door and frame, you hungrily swallow down every piece.
-
You wait until he’s finished in the stall before making yourself known. You don’t want to frighten him but as he begins to turn in the small space, ready to leave, he spots you in the doorway and nearly jumps out of his skin.
“Jesus, what the fuck!” he half shouts, half whispers.
“Oh god, I missed you,” you gush. Andy stares wide-eyed at you when you rush towards him, wrapping your arms around his torso. You inhale deeply and revel in his familiar smell, the scent enveloping you like a hazy dream. It feels so good to be so close to him again. Pulling back, you gaze up at him before rising onto your tiptoes, preparing to place a kiss on his lips.
He quickly intervenes, pushing you away. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I wanted to see you so I went to your office, but you weren’t there so I thought I’d go by your house,” you reply simply, like he’s just asked you what two plus two is.
“Th-that still doesn’t explain why you’re here.”
You shrug. “I saw you getting in the car, so I followed you.”
“Why would you do that?”
“I wanted to see where you were going, silly,” you giggle. “Bet you couldn’t imagine my surprise when you brought her to our place,” you add a little sharply.
“Actually, I used to come here…” he pauses before continuing with, “y’know, before.”
The metaphorical knife in your chest twists at his words, but you manage to recover quickly.
“It’s okay,” you smile, “I can let that go.”
You reach out for his hand, loving the softness, but inexplicably rough of his skin on yours. He allows it for a moment, running his thumb over yours before snatching it away.
“You can’t be here.”
“Afraid she’ll catch us?” you sidle up to him with a cute laugh. “Is this a new thing you want us to try?” Gently, you cup him through his pants and a wave of heat ripples through your gut. Andy hisses, his cock stirring against you as you squeeze gently, encouraging it to swell. “C’mon, don’t you remember the risks we used to take?” You rise up again, kissing the underside of his bottom lip. Even his beard feels amazing brushing across your chin.
He snaps, yelling, “No!” as he pushes you away, yet again.
Sudden hot tears gather in your eyes at his outburst and a horrid realization sets in. “Have you really moved on already?”
“How can I move on from something we never really had in the first place?” he brutally admits.
Ouch.
“But you promised me the world,” you start tearfully, “why would you choose her over me?”
Andy’s brow furrows. “She’s my wife.”
So? “That didn’t seem to matter when you were fucking me in her bed.”
White hot pain explodes across your cheek as the sound of the slap follows. Your hand shoots up to cradle the area, your skin throbbing. Fresh tears form as you try to stop yourself from crying with a loud sniff.
Andy steps to you, covering your hand with his. You’ve never seen him look so apologetic, even after he dumped you. “I’m sorry, fuck, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have— that was wrong.”
You stare up at him, wide-eyed as he comforts you, asking if you’re okay. You just nod slowly, unable to find the words. This is what you needed to prove he still cares.
“What we did, we shouldn’t have done,” he says softly. “I took advantage of you.”
“Was it really taking advantage when I wanted you too?”
Andy smiles kindly, stroking your hand with his thumb. “I can’t give you what you want. You need someone who will treat you like you deserve.”
“Why would I want anybody else?” you counter back with a shake of your head.
He lifts his hand from yours and places them both on his hips with a heavy sigh. “I know it’s hard to get over somebody you care about, but with time, it will get easier.” He reaches out, tenderly rubs your bicep as a form of comfort. He looks awkward doing it, like he’s afraid to touch you, when he’s touched you— fucked you in more intimate places than most boys would even be able to find on a map.
Is he recounting that from experience? Is he telling you he’s not really over you either despite his insistence he is?
“I don’t want time, I don’t want it to get easier. I just want you.”
Andy rubs his fingers into his eyes and lets go of an exasperated huff. “Listen to me,” he glances up, lips tight in a frown, “I’ve tried to be nice about it, but this is the last time I’m gonna say this. We’re over.”
Your cheek smarts as your jaw tightens and the rage you’ve managed to suppress bubbles up. “Then I guess I’ll just have to tell everyone you hit me.”
He stares down at you in contempt for the first time ever, his features twisted in disgust. “That was an accident, I didn’t mean to do it, you know that.”
“Was it though?” You give him a teasing pout. “‘Mr. Barber came onto me, slapped me when I said no’,” you put on a sad voice before it returns to normal. “Sounds like an open and shut case to me.”
“Don’t you understand how damaging those accusations would be?” he spits, incensed. “I would lose my job, my marriage, everything.”
You smile at him, giddy. “But then we could be together for real! No college to prosecute you for fucking a student and she’d divorce you, it’s perfect.”
The ire on Andy’s face contorts into sheer bafflement. “You crazy bitch, you’ve lost your fucking mind.” He tries to shuffle past you, but you block his way. “Get out of my way before I move you myself.”
“What are you going to do, Sir?” you taunt. “Hit me again?”
He lunges forward, hand wrapped around your throat and forces you up against the wall of the stall. “Don’t tempt me,” he breathes out heavily, gazing down at your body until his eyes meet yours once again. “Why I ever thought getting involved with you was a good idea, I’ll never know.”
“Because, and I quote, ‘no other pussy could ever come close’,” you manage to croak out from beneath his grip. Reaching out, you cup him through his pants and he hisses between gritted teeth.
Andy swats your hand away, but you quickly grab hold of his, shoving it beneath the hem of your dress. You let out a moan as his fingers brush up against your damp panties.
You see the way Andy’s eyes flicker at the contact, the slight loss of control when his fingers flex around your throat. You move his hand up and down your clothed cunt, letting go of tiny whimpers as flames of heat begin burning through your core.
“Touch me,” you beg. “Please.”
His jaw ticks like he’s fighting with himself, growling under his breath as you use his hand to pluck your panties to the side.
“Fuck me, Daddy,” you purr. “Show me how much you’ve missed my tight little cunt.”
Closing his eyes, he mutters, “Stop,” but makes no attempt to pull away.
He wants this just as much as you.
And when you finally manipulate his fingers inside you, you can feel the resistance ebb as he starts to fight for control and eventually you let go, confident in the knowledge he’s not going to pull away. You reach for him and unzip his pants, the warmth of his cock meeting your fingertips as you slip your hand inside the gap.
“Remember how good I used to make you feel,” you whisper with delicacy.
He doesn’t respond, instead choosing to stare at you the entire time, face tight with disdain as the sloppy wet sounds of your cunt fill the tiny stall. Legs trembling, you can feel your orgasm beginning to crest. The pressure in your gut becomes too much. You push at his hand to move it away, but Andy doesn’t stop.
“No. You wanted this, so you’re gonna come,” he tells you sharply. “Do it.”
“I c-can’t.”
“You will.” He leans in, capturing your lips in a wet kiss as he presses the base of his palm against your clit, and you unravel like a spool of thread.
You’re still coming as he removes his hands from your body, hurriedly lifting you up around his waist. He’s inside you in one swift stroke, stuffing you to the brim for a split second before he’s pulling back out.
He fucks you like he hates you. Mean, hard thrusts that push you back against the stall until your spine physically aches from the force. You embrace it— every bruise, every welt— the pain reminds you of how close you came to losing him, and you promise yourself that it won’t happen again.
Another wave of heat builds steadily beneath your skin, tingling all the way down to your toes. This time, you welcome the overstimulation, squirting all over his cock with a heady moan.
“Oh fuck,” he growls into the juncture of your neck, teeth nipping at your skin. “God, holy shit.” Andy roughly pulls out, and drops you to your feet. He tugs on his dick as you move to kneel before him, presenting your tongue like a dog waiting for a treat.
Andy grabs your hair, tugging hard on the roots as he shoves his cock to the back of your throat and you gag from the lack of warning. He fucks your mouth, exploding messily across your tongue with a strained grunt, stray droplets of cum spilling out from the corner of your lips, unable to lick them away.
Your throat throbs when he retreats, and blessed air rushes back into your lungs with an almighty whoosh. Eventually, he loosens his grip on your skull and leans into the stall with his palm, eyes firmly closed. His breathing is still jagged and unsteady as he repeats, “fuck,” to himself as the enormity of the situation comes crashing down around him.
Finally, his eyes flicker open, the pure disgust and conviction returning to his expression as he stares down at you, and you know what he’s going to say before he says it.
“This is it,” he states curtly. You slowly rise to your feet in the small gap, leaning in to kiss him but he pulls back.
“Don’t be like that, Daddy,” you pout. “You used to love tasting yourself on my lips.”
His jaw tightens in frustration as he snaps, “I mean it,” and your name rolls off his tongue like molasses.
“Okay,” you smirk with a light shrug, triumphant that despite his insistence, you know it won’t be. You have leverage and Andy, of all people, should know that's the golden ticket. You slip from the stall without another word, taking a moment to check yourself out in the mirror before turning to press a finger to your lips. Grabbing the door handle, you yank it open without bothering to check if anyone is around before sauntering out, a little limp new to your gait.
***
ALL CE: @buckymydarlingangel @broadwaybabe18 @captain-asguard @chamberofsloths @cevansgurl @dreamlessinparis @deanwinchesterswitch @fandom-princess-forevermore @hurricanerin @kellhems @ladybug05 @mugi-chwan95 @navybrat817 @otomefromtheheart @oneoftheprettynerds @patzammit @rebel-stardust @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @sammykb1994 @syrenavenger @saiyanprincessswanie @sunwardsss @selfsun @threeminutesoflife @vicmc624 @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @wintasssoldier @xoxonotme
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#andy barber#andy barber x reader#andy barber x you#defending jacob fanfiction#dark!reader#chris evans fanfiction
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You’ve Always Been My Dream
An Andy Barber One Shot
(Best friend’s Dad)
~~
~~
I promise that I genuinely mean it when I say that I’m going to update and finish all of my stories, but my brain never shuts up and I’m always coming up with new ideas, so now you all have this. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but I hope you all enjoy it. Jacob’s best friend falling for his dad? My brain couldn’t just let this be a simple ‘porn with a plot’ type of deal. Nope, we’re about to have a whole fucking saga. Enjoy!
Word Count: 40,641
Warnings: Family drama, Age gap, Swearing, Drinking, Infidelity, Drinking, Arguing, Fluff, Angst, Mentions of gambling, SMUT (MINORS GET AWAY), Unprotected Sex (reader is on birth control, but it’s not mentioned), Daddy kink, hints of BDSM, Anxiety, Depression, Sexual assault (teacher makes a move without consent),...I’m sure I missed something, but I can’t think of it right now.
@fuckingbye, thank you for my kick ass mood board! I love you so much! Also, looking forward to the next time I can tackle you with a hug and not let go.
Song(s) That Inspired This Story: How Do I Make You Want Me? (And Make It Last Eternally?)
Summary: You didn’t expect to be a staple in Jacob’s life, and with the way Laurie kept Andy on a leash, you NEVER expected to become a staple in Andy’s life. However, life has a way of turning things around and changing everything you thought you knew.
I do not give consent/permission for my stories/ works to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.
~~
“You never come over anymore,” Jacob scoffs as drives you home from a night out with him and Sarah.
“I just have a lot going on,” you defend, looking out the window as you fidget with your fingers.
“Did something happen? Did my mom do something?”
“What? No! Nothing! I really just am busy. I know I’m not in college like you and Sarah, but I still have a job.”
“No, I know that...you know what I mean, Y/N. You used to come over all the time-”
“I didn’t even start coming to your house till I was 17.”
“And from 17-22, you would come over all the time. Now, getting you to come over is like pulling teeth.”
“I just...I don’t want to get too comfortable with your family. We come from two different worlds and-”
“You know my parents love you.”
“It’s not that it’s just...it’s really easy to get caught up in the world of the Barbers, and I don’t want to do that. Your parents automatically include me in everything, spend money on me as if it’s not a big deal, and I just...I need to remember my place.”
“So you’re mad at my parents for having money?”
“Jacob, why are you giving me a hard time about this?”
“Because I miss hanging out with my best friend!”
“You can hangout with me anywhere!”
“It’s easier for us to hangout at my parent’s house, cause I have a shit tone of papers to work on, and the last thing I need is a distraction.”
“Jacob-”
“If something happened, you know you tell me,” he says with a sincere sigh as he pulls up to your Mother’s house.
“I know I can, but nothing did happen. I’ll come over tomorrow after I get off work, okay?” you mutter in pure annoyance and defeat as you look out the window and see your Mother’s car isn’t in the driveway. “I wonder what club she’s at tonight.”
“How is it that she has time to go out all the time, but no time to find a fucking job?” Jacob questions, and it’s not hard to spot the disdain in his voice.
“Well, ya see, when my Father left, he was nice enough to leave some of the money he won. Why work when you can go to a club and find a nice rich man to bankroll you?”
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine. Everyone in my fucking family sucks, no big deal. I’ll be out by the end of the month, which is less than a week away.”
“It’s still fucked up.”
“Jacob, I’m not going to sit here and stomp my feet about it. We went from being dirt poor, to having entirely too much money, to both of my parents showing their true colors. I don’t care, I just want to get away from all of this shit.”
“Does he at least try and see you?”
“Every fucking weekend.”
“You should at least talk to him.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Y/N-”
“He won his money, bought this house, got a new little girlfriend, moved out overnight, then served my Mom with divorce papers out of the blue. Divorce papers that your Father gave her. My dad can go fuck himself,” you spit.
“Have you told your mom you’re moving out?”
“No because fuck her.”
Jacob waits a beat before he says anything. “See? This is why you should come over more often! We have so much to talk about!” Jacob laughs and you chuckle softly.
“Tomorrow, I promise,” you smile before leaning over and giving him a small kiss on the cheek, “text me when you get home?”
“I always do.”
“Thanks for tonight, I need it,” you nod before getting out of his car.
You close the door and quickly make your way up the stairs, doing your best to avoid the Massachusetts chill, waiving once more at Jacob before disappearing inside the house.
“Hello?” you call out, knowing that you’ll be met with complete and total silence.
When no one answers, you roll your eyes with a scowl before heading into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of vodka out of the freezer. You don’t bother to grab a glass, opting to just take the whole bottle before you make your way upstairs, and hide away in your bedroom. You’ll never tell Jacob, but hanging out with him always makes you feel small.
Well, that and what actually happened.
You take a swig from the bottle before laying down and thinking about the entirety of your friendship with Jacob, thus far.
“Hey, just ignore them,” you said as you nudged Jacob’s shoulder, trying to make him feel less humiliated because of all the attention.
“Everyone here thinks I’m a killer so-”
“I don’t,” you offer with a small smile, as you try and usher you both through the hallways of 10th grade.
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Because I know what it’s like to have people never be nice to you,” you smiled weakly. “The people of Newton are just as sweet as they are cruel.”
“You must be new here.”
“I know who you are, Jacob. Wanting a bully dead doesn’t make you a bad guy, it just makes you honest.”
“And you are?”
“I’m Y/N,” you smiled as the bell rang for third period.
“It’s nice to meet you,” he smiled sheepishly.
“You too,” you smiled, outstretching your hand to shake his.
From that moment on, you two were inseparable. You were 15, he was 16, but he was only older than you by a few months. The first handful of times he’d asked to come over and hangout, you’d told him no because you have work. You could tell he didn’t believe you, so one Monday, you decided to bring him along with you to the library. After that, his parents wanted you to start coming around, because ever since that day, Jacob started looking for a job.
“I don’t get why it’s such a big deal,” you laughed as you two walked to your locker “teenagers have jobs.”
“I don’t.”
“Yeah, but you also don’t like to leave the house. Besides, doesn’t Sarah have a job?”
“Why do you think they love her so much?”
“Well, for as honored as I am, you know why I have to work. I help pay the bills.”
“After-”
“After, I go home and finish up my homework.”
“Have you thought about college at all?”
“I don’t have good enough grades for a scholarship and there’s no way I can afford it, and continue to help out.”
“They’re grants and you can apply for loans-”
“So I can have to deal with years and years of debt? No thanks,” you scoffed as you two made your way to your way to the lunchroom.
“Well, there’s always-”
“Jacob, it’s fine, honestly.I’ll graduate from this hellhole and get a job as a temp or something. Eventually, I’ll move out of this stupid town and won’t have to think about any of this shit anymore...where’s Sarah?”
“We got into an argument.”
“Please don’t tell me it was over me again.”
“She just needs to spend time with you.”
“WE’RE JUST FRIENDS!”
“Hey, I’m sitting at the same table as you, no need to shout.”
“It’s just so infuriating. Besides, if she paid any attention to the rumors, she’d know you’re too young.”
“Yeah, you need someone around my dad’s age,” he smirked.
“Exactly,” you laughed, stealing a fry off of his plate.
Little did you know, that joke would come back to bite you in the ass later in life.
Nonetheless, Jacob convinced Sarah to go to lunch with you two. After just 5 minutes of being around you two, Sarah realized that she had absolutely nothing to worry about, and almost instantly fell into rhythm the debate you and Jacob had been having for weeks:
Which is better? French fries or mozzarella sticks, and why?
After that, things seemed to finally calm down. You went to school, you went to work, you came home, listened to your parents argue about money and whose fault it was that there was none of it, and you went to bed.
For as great as everything was, there was still one issue: you still hadn’t met Jacob’s parents.
“You didn’t come to my birthday over the summer-”
“I apologized for that.”
“I know, but my parents are starting to think I made you up.”
“Sarah can vouch for you on that.”
“Y/N-”
“Why do you need me to meet them? I don’t do well with parents.”
“Why not?”
“The moms hate me and the dads wanna fuck me. I tend to just stay away from parents. I barely talk to my own.”
“My parents aren’t anything like that and you know it.”
“Jacob.”
“You missed my birthday, you didn’t come over for the holiday party-”
“You’re not going to drop this until I agree to come over for your graduation celebration, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Ugh, fuck you, Barber.”
“June 16th at 1. Thank you,” he smiled before he walked off.
You knew you were paranoid, but the rumors always lived rent free in your head and the stares and judging glances never stopped.
There have been so many variations of what actually happened that day your 9th grade year, that you’re shocked you remember what actually happened. Yes, you do have a thing for older men, but you were never dumb enough to actually go after one. Your curves had come in by the time you were in 7th grade, which meant that it wasn’t hard for you to catch anyone’s eye. So, it came as no surprise when you caught the eye of your 9th grade History teacher, Mr. Matthews.
Everyone’s favorite teacher.
It didn’t matter that he had approached you first, it didn’t matter that you asked him to stop sending you unsolicited dick pics, and it didn’t matter that you pushed him off of you when he kissed you. What did matter was that your “friends” had heard you say multiple times that you couldn’t wait to get older so that you could date older men, it mattered that you were often referred to as one if the prettiest girls in school, and what mattered was that everyone knew you weren’t a virgin.
When you finally found the courage to go to the principle and tell her what happened, showing her all the pictures and texts, it didn’t matter that there was proof that you didn’t want it. What mattered was that you got everyone’s favorite teacher fired.
After that, your friends stop calling and coming around, dads started looking you over more often when they picked up their kids from school, and mothers didn’t want their sons dating “such a tramp” (as one mother so lovingly put it).
Almost over night, you became a recluse. You worked as much as possible, you stayed in the library on your free periods, and when you weren’t too burnt out, you did your homework. By the time Jacob Barber came back to school, you had become such a recluse you barely paid attention to the fact that he was in your class. However, the site of someone shoving him into a locker and calling him a “murderous fucking psycho” broke your heart. You two bonded on being outcasts and bullied, and that’s how you two ended up being best friends.
“The Barbers seem like nice people, sweetheart,” your mother encouraged as she helped you style your hair.
“I just-”
“Listen, those fuck heads at the school are just that: fuck heads. Not everyone is going to see you in the light that they see you in. You didn’t do anything wrong-”
“I know I didn’t, but still.”
“Just relax, you’re gonna have a great time,” she reassured you as she placed her hands on your shoulders.
As luck would have it, Mr. Barber wasn’t there when you went to Jacob’s party. Jacob said he got called into work or something and that he wouldn’t be home until later. Laurie was unfailingly kind in her words and very welcoming, but her eyes told you differently. She would look you over and you knew she was trying to decide if you had been telling the truth all those years ago. You tried to talk yourself out of it, but the fact that whenever you came over Mr. Barber was always gone let you know that you weren’t being delusional.
But, you got over it.
Laurie was always nice to your face and she never stopped you from being friends with Jacob. As far as you were concerned, everything was fine for the most part.
Then, as fate would have it, your father hit the lotto of all things. He was quick to pack up the little bit that you all had and moved you all into a house only a few blocks away from the Barbers. You thought that would be the end of the arguing, but that somehow only made it worse. You kept hoping that they’d work it out, but one day you woke up and all of his things were gone. The next day, your mother answered the door to Andy Barber serving her divorce papers.
You practically lived in Jacob’s room for a month after that.
The only thing that made it worse? Your Father had been in a relationship with another woman for months. So, your Mother took the money that he left and decided to spend it on herself. You didn’t matter at all anymore. New purses, a new car, a shit ton of alcohol, new clothes, she just kept buying whatever she wanted and sleeping with whoever she wanted.
You were left to navigate through all of the bullshit by yourself.
You would have thought that with the news of what happened with your parents, and what your Father did, you would have found some favor with Laurie.
You didn’t.
While she started buying you things for the holidays and your birthdays (always signing them from both her and Andy), invited you over for holiday dinners, offered to let you throw celebrations for your birthday at the Barber household, but she still never wanted Andy around when you were there. Yeah, it hurt that she still didn’t trust you after so much time had passed, but you let it go. As long as you didn’t have to hear about her hating you, it was easy for you to pretend that she genuinely cared about you and that Andy was an extremely busy man.
See,the thing is, Laurie desperately wanted to like you but she just couldn’t.
You were kind, respectful, thoughtful, patient, and extremely caring. Yes, you loved Jacob and looked out for him when you two were out in public, but in a way, that made her even more wary. You never showed any interest in Jacob and he was completely wrapped up in Sarah. It didn’t help that half the time Jacob went out with you, he’d come home completely shit faced and alone. When she’d ask where you were in the morning, Jacob was always truthful and said “I don’t know, she went home with some guy she met at the bar.”
Yeah, Laurie wanted to like you, but just couldn’t bring herself to for a number of reasons, and you told yourself you were fine with it.
Until you overheard a conversation in their kitchen a year ago.
“Would you mind grabbing beers from downstairs?” Jacob asked as his eyes stayed glued to the screen in front him.
You don’t know how many times you’ve seen ‘Borat’ at this point, but you could quote it line for line. A talent you weren’t necessarily proud of.
“It’s your house.”
“It’s my parents house.”
“Even more reason for you to go and get it.”
“Y/N come on, this my favorite part!”
“You owe me, Barber,” you muttered before you got up and quickly made out of the room.
It’s not like you meant to creep downstairs, but you knew how Laurie felt about you, and Jacob had invited you over unannounced because he just wanted to hangout and was worn out from college.
You were more than ready to run into the kitchen then run back upstairs, but the voices you heard coming from the kitchen made you come to a complete stop.
“Laurie, this is fucking ridiculous! She’s our son’s best friend and I’ve never even met the girl!” Andy snapped in a hushed tone.
“You saw her at graduation!”
“That’s bullshit and you know it! The fact is you still have this idea about some stupid revenge!”
“Why wouldn’t you? And why not with her?! The whole town knows-”
“Jesus! She was a fucking child when that happened, and she very clearly didn’t-”
“She was a child then but she isn’t now!”
“Do you hear how fucking crazy you sound?!”
You leaned in a little bit more than you meant to and quickly took a step to regain your balance, but the floor creaked and you instantly knew you were found out, so instead of trying to run off in the other direction, you walked into the kitchen as if you’d just gotten there.
“Oh Y/N! How’s Borat?” Laurie smiled with a small laugh as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Same as its always is,” you chuckled awkwardly as you made your way to the fridge “sorry to interrupt though, Jacob just wanted me to grab a few beers.”
“As silly as it sounds, you’ve never met Andy! Andy meet-”
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” he smiled at you sincerely as he outstretched his hand.
“I get it, you’ve been extremely busy, it’s not a problem at all,” you smiled sheepishly before taking his outstretched hand and shaking it.
He didn’t look you over, he didn’t ogle you, and he didn’t give you a suggestive smirk. Instead, his eyes let you know that he was sorry. He knew you’d heard what they had been talking about and he felt embarrassed and awful.
It made your heart flutter just a little.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” you laughed awkwardly before letting go of his hand and opening the fridge, accidentally grabbing the entire six pack “I should get back to Jake.”
“Y/N, what you heard tonight-” Laurie started as you shook your head.
“I didn’t hear a thing,” you lied with a sincere smile before exiting and making your way back upstairs.
“What took you so long?” Jacob asked as you closed the door to his room.
“I finally got to meet your dad,” you chuckled nervously as you handed him a beer.
“It’s about fucking time,” he chuckled as he took the beer from you. “How’d that go?”
‘Well you know....me and parents.”
“Oh God, were they weird? Was he weird?”
“No, it was just me, like always,” you lied before almost completely downing an entire bottle of beer. “Hey, do your parents argue a lot?”
“All the fucking time,” he scoffed as if it were not a big deal.
“What about?” you questioned before you finished off your beer and grabbed a second; wasting no time in opening another one before you took a giant swig from it.
“Anything, honestly. My dad went through this really bad depression the summer before I met you. He was drunk every day, never wanted to leave the house unless it was for work...him and my mom were fighting a lot. Sometimes over me and sometimes over him and the secrets he decided to keep. Anyway, since then, they’ve been arguing about everything. For the last 3 or 4 years, they’ve been arguing about some girl.”
“Oh?”
“My mother swears that my father is out on some revenge quest with some young woman, and she lays into him about it every chance she gets.”
“Do you know who?”
“Nah, I just know she works at a library or something,” he shrugged.
You loved Jacob so much, but sometimes he could be a complete and total fucking idiot.
“Well,” you started before downing the entire second bottle “I’ve gotta get going.”
“What?!” Jacob exclaimed as he paused the movie. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, I just have to get back.”
“To what? You know she’s drunk at some club-”
“I have work tomorrow, Jake. At the library,” you muttered, hoping to drop the hint that you were the girl his parents had been arguing about for years.
“That’s not until the afternoon!”
“I’m working the full day, I need the money.”
“Y/N, did something happen down there?”
“I promise everything is fine,” you lied with a reassuring smile “I’ll call you when I get home.”
“At least let me drive you home.”
“It’s a short walk, I’ll be fine,” you laughed as you grabbed another beer and got up. “I’ll call you when I get home,” you repeated before you walked out.
You quickly made your way downstairs and practically ran out the door, pretending you didn’t hear Laurie when she called after you.
From that day on, you’ve barely ever stepped foot inside the Barber household. When you’d run into Laurie at the grocery store, you’d make polite small talk and pretend you didn’t know how little she actually thought of you, and you went out of your way to avoid Andy.
In Laurie’s defense, if you were her, you’d have anxiety about women trying to steal your husband all the time.
Besides the fact that he’s annoyingly good at his job, Andy Barber is insanely attractive. Girls throw themselves him, guys envy him, and you’d overheard a few women at school talk about how they changed their workout routines just so they could catch a glimpse of him swimming. Women wanted Andy and they didn’t try to hide it. So, when some young woman comes along, who’s never shied away from the fact that she likes older men, of course she threw all logic out the window and decided to keep her husband as far away as possible.
So, out of respect and not wanting to cause more stress for Jacob, you stayed away. The last time you saw him was the beginning of the month.
“I feel like you’re busier than usual,” Sarah commented as the three of you hung out in the living room.
Sarah was cuddled up against Jacob on one side of the sofa, and you were laid out on the other side, half paying attention to the movie playing.
“That’s because I am,” you groaned as she chuckled.
“Well, why don’t you slow up? The library can’t possibly need you as much.”
“I’m not working there anymore.”
“Oh? And why weren’t we told?”
“Because it’s a surprise!” you whined as they both start to laugh.
“Well,” Jacob started as he turned his attention towards you “now you have to tell us.”
“It’s a surprise!”
“Nope, we gotta know. It’s gonna bother us all night.”
“You both suck, I hope you know that,” you scowled as they both continued to laugh “I started working as a secretary at that advertising agency not far from the college.”
“Sloman and Brothers? Well look at you!” Jacob exclaimed. “The next time we all go out, dinner will be on you!”
“You say this as if I don’t have bills.”
“Your Mother is still making you help out?”
“No, I’m finally getting my own place.”
“SERIOUSLY?!”
“Yes,” you laughed as you felt his genuine happiness and love for you.
“That’s great, I’m happy for you,” Mr. Barber’s voice came from behind, which caused you to jump and sit straight up.
“I thought you guys were gonna go out for dinner,” Jacob said casually, not paying to your complete change in your demeanor.
Sarah did though.
“Change of plans,” Laurie smiled, but you could see irritation in her eyes. Whether it was towards you or Mr. Barber you couldn’t tell, but Jacob’s eyeroll let you know it was directed towards Mr. Barber. “Andy’s right though, Y/N. That’s amazing and we’re so happy for you.”
“Thank you,” you smiled awkwardly before you got up “but I should be going now.”
“What? The movie isn’t even halfway over!” Jacob protested.
“I know, but I do have work tomorrow, and I have to get boxes to start packing my stuff in, it’s not a lot but still.”
“Actually, Y/N is making a good point. I think I’m gonna head out. I can give you a ride back to your place.”
“What the fuck?!” Jacob snapped.
“Jacob!” Laurie reprimanded.
“Watch it, bud,” Andy warned.
“Jacob, it’s fine. You’re picking me up after work tomorrow, we’ll hangout then.”
“Yeah fine,” he huffed before standing up and giving her a small hug and a kiss on the lips. “I love you, let me know when you’re home safe, okay?”
“I always do,” she smiled at him.
“And you,” he nodded as he turned towards you “don’t start packing without me.”
“As if I have anyone else to call,” you teased with a soft small.
“Hey, finish up that paper. I know it’s a pain but you’re almost done and it’s due tomorrow,” Sarah reminded him and you sighed, knowing what was coming next.
“Jacob, we pay your tuition and you barely work.There’s no reason for that paper to not be done already,” Laurie snapped as Andy ran a frustrated hand through his hair.
“It’s almost done,” Jacob scowled.
“You shouldn’t be doing anything until that paper is done!”
“Stop it, Laurie.” Andy sighed
“Stay out of it, Andy!”
“Stay out of it? He’s my son too!” Andy shouted back.
“Okay, I’m gonna grab a fucking beer, then I’m going to work on this fucking paper. I love you both, enjoy your night cause I sure as shit won’t,” Jacob all but growled before storming out of the living room and into the kitchen.
“Um, bye Mr. And Mrs. Barber,” Sarah said sheepishly before heading out.
You followed right behind, giving them both a small wave. Jacob was about to have the night from hell and you felt awful.
“I shouldn’t have said anything, I feel like an asshole,” Sarah practically cried as you two got into her car.
“It’s not your fault, Laurie was angry the minute she set foot through the door. Whether it was with me or Andy-”
“Yeah, what’s going on there?” Sarah asked as she started her car.
“Something tells me you’re not taking me home, are we?” you groaned as you slumped down in the seat.
“Nope, we’re going to talk about this all of this over dinner.”
For the next hour, you told Sarah all about your friendship with Jacob and how Laurie had been silently against it from the beginning, but would never say anything about it to your face. When you told her about the conversation you’d overheard between her and Andy a year ago, she was understandably pissed.
“She seriously believes that you seduced Mr. Matthews?” she snapped.
“I honestly don’t know if she believes I did or that if she’s just afraid that now that I’m older, I’ll go after Andy. Mind you, tonight’s the second time I’ve ever seen the fucking man.”
“Wait, what?”
“Laurie makes sure to keep him out of the house and away when she knows I’m coming over. The first night we finally fucking met was an accident. Jacob invited me over to watch ‘Borat’ and didn’t tell Laurie first. Hence the quiet argument in the kitchen.”
“That’s such fucking bullshit! I mean, I kind of had an idea that something was wrong when he told me that his parents had been fighting about a girl that worked in a library, I kinda assumed it was you, but I had no idea it was this fucking ridiculous. I’m gonna take a guess and assume that Jacob knows nothing about this?”
“Of course not. I’ll never tell him about the conversation because it’ll only make things worse for him at home, but he’s never going to put the library thing together,” you scoffed as the waiter dropped off the second round of drinks.
“Yeah, I love the man, but he can be so clueless at times,” she chuckled before taking a sip of her margarita. “Can I ask you something? And please don’t take it as-”
“You can ask me anything, Sarah,” you laughed.
“Do you have a crush on Mr. Barber? I mean, I know you find older men attractive and-”
“I don’t know the man,” you laughed with a shrug “I mean, I’m not blind; the man is gorgeous, but that doesn’t mean I have a crush on him. Would I have a one night stand with him? Who wouldn’t? However, he’s married and Jacob’s dad, and I’d never put Jacob through more hell than hes already been through.”
“You really do love him, don’t you?”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him,” you smiled softly.
“Have you tried dating guys our age?”
“Yeah, and it sucked,” you chuckled. “I don’t know, I just don’t have anything in common with guys our age.”
“There’s Jacob.”
“Yeah, but I don’t feel that way towards Jacob. You know that.”
“No, I’m saying that if you can have fun and enjoy someone our age, the way you do with Jacob, why not try it with someone else and try out dating them?”
“I’m just always bored with guys our age, I don’t know how to explain it. The conversation is boring, the sex is bad, and there’s no spark. Just a dull fucking flame,” you muttered before taking a sip of your Mai Tai.
“Are you the type of woman who calls a man ‘Daddy’?” she giggled.
“Only if he works for it,” you smirked as she burst out laughing.
The rest of the dinner went great and you told Sarah (and yourself) that would all be sorted soon enough.
You’re just hoping and praying that you’ll be able to keep Jacob in the dark long enough until you get out.
Your mother coming home and giggling at something the guy who brought her home says, pulls you out of your thoughts. You take another giant swig from the bottle before closing it; settling under your covers and quickly finding your way to sleep land.
It can’t always rain...right?
**
The hard knock on your front door brings a smile to your face and you run downstairs to answer it, happy to finally get the fuck out of the hellhole your father purchased.
Also referred to as a house.
“Okay, so basically everything is packed and...oh?” you stop when you open the door and see Jacob standing there...with Andy.
“Yeah,” Jacob laughs as he makes his way inside “it’s Saturday and he has nothing better to do. Wasn’t hard to convince to help me move a few desks.”
“Where’s Mrs. Barber?”
“Oh, she’s out to lunch with some friends. When’s your mom gonna be back?”
“She’ll be gone all day. Apparently the last guy she brought home really stuck,” you scoff before turning to Andy “thank you. I really appreciate it.”
“Anytime,” he smiles at you. “How many desks are we moving?”
“2 desks, 2 drawers, and 1 closet.”
“And how you were you two planning on doing that alone?”
“Hope, Mr. Barber. A lot of hope,” you smirk as he laughs.
Jacob and Andy are quick to grab the desks, drawers, and closet, while you finish boxing up the last few things you have. It’s sad that you don’t even feel a little upset about leaving. You only feel relief.
Andy volunteers to drive the moving truck, while Jacob drives his car and you drive your own.
And just like that, you’re all moved out. It’s like you were never even there.
“Y/N, this place is amazing!” Jacob exclaims as the three of you make your way inside your new place.
“I still can’t believe it’s mine,” you snort.
“I’m so happy for you!”
“I’ll be happy once I deal with my mom. God knows how long it’ll take for her to figure out that I’m gone,” you mutter.
“Hey, lets not worry about that right now. Lets get you moved in,” he smiles at you, and you can’t help but smile back.
As you all unloaded the truck, you take notice of how much Jacob is checking on Andy, and how hard he’s working to make him laugh and smile. You also notice how upset and worn out he seems, even though he tries to hide it.
“Hey,” you call to Jacob after Andy steps out, going to get another box “what’s going on with you?”
“Nothing,” he lies with a soft chuckle “just excited-”
“Jake, you know better.”
“I don’t wanna dampen your day.”
“You not telling me will dampen my day, cause I’ll be worried.”
“I wish they’d get a fucking divorce already,” he sighs, leaning against the wall.
“Who? Your parents?”
“All they fucking do is fight, and if my mom’s real pissed, she takes it out on me. I don’t see the point of them staying together anymore, because it really is just for show at this point. I don’t even know why she’s so mad all the time. She’s been angry ever since everything happened and it just feels like it never went away. The only reason I even fucking stayed home for college was to lookout for him. Remember I told you about the really bad depression he went through a little while back? He was always drunk, never left the house, cried a lot? She would just...she holds all these fucking grudges. Things she needs to let go of, but refuses to. He stays because he loves her and he feels like he owes me something.”
“Are you mad at him?”
“I mean...I was. Everything was happening at once, I was on trial for murder, and I was just a kid. I was angry, but I got older and I understood. My dad’s not a bad guy. He loves the shit out of me and my mom, and he cares about people in his own way. No, he isn’t some patron saint, but he they’re people with far worse dads than mine. A good example? His own dad. I don’t know, he just doesn’t deserve this.”
“Be that as it may, you can’t make yourself miserable over the problems of two grown adults.”
“You’re one to talk.”
“We’re standing in the middle of my brand new apartment. I am one to talk, babe,” you smirk at him and he laughs softly. “Listen, I really don’t anything about your dad other than that he loves the hell out of you. He wouldn’t want you making yourself miserable for all of this, and you can’t make him leave your mom. It has to be a decision he makes on his own.”
“I just feel guilty.”
“Trust me, I completely understand, but there’s really nothing more you can do besides be there for him when he needs or wants to talk. You don’t have to stay in that house to do that.”
“I hate it when you’re right.”
“So...all the time?”
“Fuck you,” he laughs as you wrap in him in a hug.
“It’s gonna be okay, Jake.”
“Thank you.”
“Always,” you smile as you two break apart.
“Forgot my phone, I have a call to make,” Andy chuckles with a shake of his head as he makes his way back into your apartment,
You two make eye contact for a split second, but it’s long enough to let you know that you heard everything that was just discussed.
Fuck.
He doesn’t say a thing about it and acts as if he didn’t hear anything, but you still feel bad. You hope and pray that he doesn’t think that you’re coming off as judgmental and rude, because that’s the last thing you want. You just want to be there for Jacob because he needs it. All he has (outside of his parents) are you and Sarah, and you want to make sure that he knows that he can have better if he really wants to.
So can Andy.
By the time all the boxes and furniture are setup, you’re all beat.
“I feel like I should buy you both dinner,” you smile halfheartedly at the Barber men who just laugh in response.
“We should be buying you dinner,” Andy retorts.
“No! You both spent your Saturday helping me move in! It’s the least-”
“You’re a young woman moving into her first apartment on her own, with no help from anyone, and at a young age. It’s a big deal. What’s your favorite place to get food from?” Andy asks with a sincere smile.
You ignore the butterflies in your stomach as you focus on the correct answer to his question. “Um, you know the Chinese place not too far from your job? Great Dynasty?”
“I love that place! They have the best dumplings!”
“They do!”
“Should I step out while you two have a moment?” Jacob laughs and you flip him off.
Andy takes everyone’s order, and you laugh when the both of you almost end up getting the same thing, and Jacob promises to be the one to pick it up since Andy ordered. You find your record player easily enough and pull out your favorite The Clash album, before asking the both of them what they want to drink.
“Keep in mind, you both have to drive,” you smirk as you pour yourself a glass of whiskey.
“You like the Clash, you favor whiskey, you have great taste in Chinese food, and you love black and white movies?”
“And how would you know that I love black and white movies?” you chuckle as you cock an eyebrow.
“Jacob has a big mouth,” Andy mumbles.
“You make me watch them all the time!” Jacob defends.
“And how many times have I had to sit through ‘Borat’? I don’t wanna hear it,” you shoot back before sticking your tongue out at him.
“This is turning out to be a lot more fun than I thought it would be,” Andy laughs “do you have bourbon?”
“I raided my mom’s liquor cabinet, so I have everything,” you smile before turning to Jacob “except beer.”
“Why are you always against me?” he grumbles as you and Andy burst out laughing. “I’ll go buy some and by the time I’m back, the food should be just arriving.”
“You can calculate time when it comes to school, but in high school...”
“Watch it,” he warns and you giggle.
“Either of you want anything?” he questions, grabbing Andy’s car fob off the kitchen island.
“Chips and salsa, please,” you smile at him.
“You can’t live off chips and salsa.”
“Watch me,” you smirk and he chuckles “and wear your damn seat belt.”
“Jake!” Andy snaps.
“It’s only sometimes!” he quickly counters before turning to you “traitor.”
“You shouldn’t be driving around without it!”
“I swear, you’re such a mom,” he scowls before turning his attention back to Andy “you be nice to her.”
“I’m always nice, it’s your mother you have to worry about,” Andy mutters and you almost choke on your whiskey.
“Fair point,” Jacob scoffs before walking out.
Leaving you all alone with Andy Barber.
“Well, this is awkward,” Andy smirks and a small giggle escapes your lips as you pour him a drink.
“Only a little bit.”
“Listen, about Laurie-”
“You don’t have to-”
“I do, because you don’t deserve to feel like you’re the problem, cause you’re not. I know that you heard what she said that night and I’m sorry. It was...rude, disgusting, and wrong. You’ve been nothing but a great friend to Jacob, and I don’t know why...you were a child-”
“I’m not one now,” you scoff with an eye roll before taking a sip of your drink.
“Is it bad that this is the third time I’ve seen you and I feel terrible?”
“You have no reason to feel terrible. Honestly, neither does Laurie. I see how women look at you and how they talk about you, and then there’s me: your sons best friend, with a reputation. Whether it’s true or not, doesn’t matter because the seed has already been planted. She’s just trying to-”
“She’s trying to make sure I don’t do to her what she did to me,” he mutters before he can stop himself. He quickly looks at you with shock in his eyes “forget you heard-”
“I won’t tell Jacob,” you tell him reassuringly, but your heart breaks a little and he can tell.
“She only did it the one time, it was after the trial and she had her doubts and reservations. She’s not a bad-”
“You don’t have to explain yourself or your marriage to me. You see my family, I’m not about to start throwing stones.”
“I just don’t want you to think the worst of her. I heard what you told Jacob-”
“I wasn’t trying to tell him to abandon you-”
“No, I know, I just...you’re right, he can’t fix what’s wrong between Laurie and I. I wish I had known he stayed just for me. I would’ve told him to go to Yale. Did you know that he was accepted into Yale?”
“He was accepted into a lot of colleges. He read and showed me every single acceptance letter.”
“If I’m honest, I thought he stayed for you. I’ve always believed he’s in love with you.”
“Everyone seems to think that. We’re just friends though. I should want to be with him, but it’s just not...he’s not my type.”
“What’s wrong with him?”
“Nothing,” you laugh before taking another sip of your drink “I’m not his type either. We’re best friends.”
“I can’t imagine you not being someones type....I don’t mean to be-”
“You’re fine,” you chuckle softly.
“You’re oddly calming to talk to.”
“Jacob always says that.”
“So,” he starts as he clears his throat, taking a seat “I feel like I have a lot to learn about you.”
“There’s really nothing to know,” you laugh “I have two friends, I don’t talk to my parents much, I work a lot, I tend to drink a bit too much at times, I have a horrible sleep schedule, I drink entirely too much coffee, I love to cook, I laugh entirely too loud when I think something is funny, and I cry every time I watch ‘Titanic’,” you finish with a smile before finishing off your drink and pouring yourself another glass as Andy laughs.
“I’m sure there’s more to you than that.”
“I’m as plain as they come.”
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to pay closer attention and find out for myself.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Where does Mrs. Barber think you are? Couldn’t help but notice that you weren’t there on Tuesday.”
“She thinks I’m working,” he sighs as finishes off his own drink and pouring himself another. “I feel awful-”
“Why? You haven’t done anything wrong. You didn’t say it, she did.”
“I should’ve stood up to her.”
You take a minute before you speak. “Mr. Barber-”
“Andy. Please call me Andy. ‘Mr. Barber’ makes me feel like an old man. Just because I am one doesn’t mean I wanna feel like one.”
“You’re not old but okay,” you chuckle softly “Andy, I don’t wanna overstep, but...you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. You don’t owe anyone anything. Jacob talks about you all the time, you’re his hero. You did what you thought was best and I can’t fault you for that. Hell, I wish no one knew about what my dad did and all it was, was cheat and be an asshole. I just...from the way Jacob talks about you, how hes always talked about you...you shouldn’t have to put yourself through hell to feel like you’re a good man,” you finish softly.
“How old are you?”
“I am in the middle of being 23 and it’s a fucking doozy,” you chuckle and he laughs.
“Jacob’s lucky to have a friend like you.”
“He’s also lucky to have you as a father,” you smile at him, as the record comes to an end. “Any requests?”
“You may hate them but...Alice in Chains?”
“They’re my favorite band in the world, so you’re in luck,” you practically squeal as you make your way over to your record box.
You two spend the rest of your time alone together talking about music and movies, laughing and bonding over how alike you two are, but the minute Jacobs steps foot into your apartment, you change the subject. You know you have nothing to be ashamed of, but it just feels personal and like you both shouldn’t be saying anything in front of him.
From that moment on, you and Andy decide that whatever you two decide to talk about is between you two. You have private phone calls with him, you two text all the time, and you both FaceTime often. No, you’re not trying to lure Andy Barber in, but talking to him is so freeing and honest. He’s fun to talk to and it’s not like you talk to a lot of people to begin with.
“Lets grab drinks,” Andy says from the Bluetooth device that’s connected to your car.
“You know we can’t,” you laugh as you press on the brakes as you reach a stoplight.
“I hate talking about all of this shit over the phone.”
“Yeah well, Laurie will hate you and lay into Jacob because of it.”
“This is so dumb.”
“You could get a divorce.”
“Then hangout with you so she can hate you?”
“She already hates me, Andy. Who cares?”
“I do.”
“Andy.”
“It’s not fair to you, and it pisses me the fuck off.”
“Well, you’re sweet,” you smile before grabbing your phone, switching it back to personal use, turning your car off and getting out “but I’m fine.”
“Well, I’m not. Am I an idiot? You’re an adult and so am I. We should be able to hangout without having to deal with anyone’s shit.”
“Without Laurie’s shit.”
“We’re not doing anything wrong.”
“She won’t see it that way...shit,” you groan as you get to your apartment, seeing Andy leaning against your door.
“I wanted to see you,” he says simply as he hangs up.
“Why did you even suggest drinks if you were already here?”
“I knew you’d say no.”
“Andy-”
“A good conversation isn’t cheating,” he reassures you. “She doesn’t know I’m here and I’ll never tell her.”
“Isn’t that a problem in and of itself?”
“It’s only a problem because-”
“Andy.”
“If you tell me to go, I’ll leave right now,” he promises sincerely.
How are supposed to tell him no? How are you supposed to turn him down?
Somehow, you’ve become Andy’s therapist and best friend. It’s not like you two do much of anything besides talk, and you only see every other week. Of course Andy is attractive, and you aren’t going to lie and say that it isn’t nice to have someone to talk to who you feel like actually gets it, but at the end of the day, he’s Jacob’s dad and Laurie’s husband. You refuse to cross that line.
“How was work?” he asks, pouring you both a drink as you go into your room to change.
“I’d like, for once in my life, to not be fucking looked at like I’m a fucking sex doll,” you scowl as you pull on sweatpants then your Boston University crew neck.
“You can tell your boss.”
“Complain to my boss about my boss? No thanks,” you sigh as you step back out into the living area, making your way over to the kitchen.
“You could just quit.”
“Then how would I pay for this nice apartment?”
“You’re extremely smart and talented, I’m sure you’d be able to find another job in an instant.”
“You are annoyingly kind,” you smile as you take a seat at the kitchen island. “Where does she think you are tonight?”
“Work,” Andy responds nonchalantly as he passes you your drink.
“Andy.”
“Would you like for me to call her and tell her that I’m here?”
“I would like for you to get a divorce.”
“I owe her-”
“You don’t owe her shit, Andy.”
“If you’re against her so much-”
“I’m not against her, I’m against you feeling like you need to pay penance.”
“Y/N-”
“Do you still love her enough to go through all of this?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Andy, how old are you?”
“42...about to be 43.”
“That explained so much so fast,” you chuckle before taking a sip of your drink. “You’re still young. You can leave Laurie, find someone new, and not feel like you have to hide your friendships or who you really are.”
“She just needs time.”
“How much more time does she need? Andy, you’re not that guy. Don’t be that guy.”
“What about you? I don’t see you making-”
“Y/N!” Jacob called from the other side of your door.
You and Andy both exchange panicked looks as you hear him put the key you gave him into the keyhole. Andy quickly runs into your room as you down his drink and put it into the sink.
No one is doing anything wrong, so you’re not sure why the both of you feel so guilty.
“Why didn’t you answer?” Jacob asks as he makes his way inside.
“I was mid sip,” you laugh awkwardly.
“You’re wearing the crew neck I got you.”
“Gotta support my favorite guy,” you smile at him “what’s up?”
“I have a question and I don’t want you to freak out.”
“Well, now I am freaked out,” you mutter before taking a sip of whiskey.
“It’s not anything bad, I just...it’s...do you think...Christ, why can’t I find the words?!”
“Just spit it out.”
“Do you think I’ll be moving too fast if I propose to Sarah?” he spits out all at once.
“Well...shit.”
“I’m gonna talk to my dad about it, but I tell you everything, so I wanna run it past you first.”
“I mean, you two have been together forever and you love the hell out of each other....have you two even talked about getting a place together?”
“We’ve been looking at apartments, but we haven’t decided on anything yet.”
“Well, I 1000% think you two should get married, but you need a game plan. I’ve known you long enough to know that you don’t have one.”
“Well, where should I start?”
“For one, graduate first. I would imagine that planning a wedding and trying to graduate at the same time is annoying and stressful as hell. Next, decide on a place to live. I know you two have had a million sleepovers, but it’s not the same as actually living together.”
“Sarah could be the worst fucking roommate ever and I’d still propose. After all the shit shes had to put up, and all the shit we’ve been through...I love her so fucking much, Y/N.”
“I know you do, Jake,” you smile at him.
You can only imagine the smile on Andy’s face right now.
“Okay, graduate first, move in together, then propose. Got it. Graduation isn’t that far off anyway.”
“Aw, look at my little adult,” you beam and he flips you off.
“Will you go with me to pick out a ring? It’ll be me, you, and my dad...well, if he says yes.”
“You know he will,” you laugh softly “what about your mom?”
“Eh.”
“Eh?”
“I just feel like she’ll be a dark cloud. She’s so fucking moody lately, her and my dad have been arguing a lot, and she’s been a real ass to me.”
“Jacob.”
“Don’t. It’s fucking hell living in that house, and part of that is because of her and how she is. I don’t know what her fucking problem is, but I’m tired of always getting shit on because she’s having a bad day. I wish I never wrote that fucking story. She’s always going to think I’m a monster and she’s always going to be bitter about the fact that everyone looked at her as a bad parent.”
“She loves you, Jacob. I don’t have many talks with her, but the few that I’ve had, she loves. She may fuck up from time to time, but what parent doesn’t?”
“When’s the last time you spoke to yours?”
“We’re not talking about me,” you mutter as you down the rest of your drink before pouring yourself another one.
“I don’t get why I have to make nice with my mom, but you don’t have to with yours.”
“It took her a month to realize I moved out, Jake. Laurie would notice in a second.”
“Y/N-”
“Also, once she realized I moved out, she called me crying and bitched me out. She said I abandoned her just like my father did, even though it took her a fucking month to realize I was even gone. As for my dad, he’s getting married and wants me to be supportive. He told me that he didn’t abandon me, but he just needed to start over because too much had happened. So, that’s why you need to make nice with your mom and I don’t have to make nice with mine.”
“I didn’t mean...I’m sorry,” he sighs as he leans against the the kitchen island. “Ya know, I really fucking hate your parents,” he scowls and you laugh. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“There’s nothing to talk about. Both of them are selfish assholes,” you shrug. “There’s nothing more to it.”
“You’re a liar but I won’t press the matter. I gotta go though, I’m having dinner with Sarah and her family. I’ll text you later, I love you,” he smiles before leaning across the island and kissing your cheek.
“I love you too, Jake,” you smile as he goes to leave. “Wear your damn seat belt!”
“Jesus, yes mom!” he call over his shoulder before walking out and closing the door behind.
“Holy shit!” Andy beams as he steps out of your room and you burst out laughing. “He wants to propose! I’m so fucking....holy shit!”
“And he’s gonna come to you for advice soon,” you smile at him before taking his glass out of the sink and pouring him a drink.
“Why did you drink it?” he laughs.
“I panicked!”
“Why?”
“Why did you go running into my bedroom?”
“I’ve never seen it before,” he smirks and you let out a small laugh. “You know, you’re really good with him.”
“Who? Jacob? What do you mean?”
“You always know the right thing to say and how to calm him down. I forget that he’s the older one.”
“Jacob just needs patience and understanding. Just take your time with him and he’s fine. He’s a great guy, he’s just a little dark at times. We all are,” you shrug.
“Your parents-”
“Guess what I don’t wanna talk about?”
“Talk to me, Y/N. I’m not Jacob, I will push.”
“Why? It’s not a big deal. I’m fine.”
“No you’re not.”
“And how would you know?”
“Cause I know you. Talk to me.”
“It just gets fucking irritating. They’re both adults but neither of them acts like it. I’m fine not talking to them, my life is much less hectic, but it would be nice to actually have parents instead of always having to be the parent,” you sigh before finishing your drink and slamming the glass down.
Andy says nothing as he rounds the island and slowly makes his way over to you. He wraps his arms around you tight and you swear it’s the best hug you’ve ever gotten.
All of Andy’s hugs make you feel like you’re home.
“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “You deserve so much better from everyone and I’m just so sorry. I’m sorry I can’t make it better for you.”
“I’m just tired. I’m so fucking tired,” you sob into his chest, wrapping your arms around him.
“I know you are, honey.”
“I’ve been doing everything all the time and I’m just ready for a fucking break. I just...ugh! I’m sorry.”
“Hey, don’t you dare be sorry. I vent to you all the time about everything. You can cry to me whenever you want about anything.”
“This isn’t your job. I shouldn’t be-”
“Y/N, you don’t have to be strong all the time. I want to be there for you like you’re always there me for me. If there’s anyone who deserves a good friend and someone to lean on, it’s you,” he tells you softly as he gently rubs your back.
If Andy Barber were anyone else, he’d be perfect for you. However, he’s not yours and you need to remember that.
“Are you staying for dinner?” you sniffle as you let go of him.
“Do you want me to?”
“I always want you to stay,” you scoff without even thinking. Mortification runs through your body as you realize what you just said. “I just mean-”
“You’re fine,” he chuckles. “What do you want? I’ll cook.”
“I’ll cook.”
“You need to relax.”
“I actually like cooking,” you laugh.
“Y/N-”
“How about we cook together?”
“A fair compromise,” he smiles at you.
After going through everything in your fridge and freezer (which really isn’t much), you both decide that something simple is the best choice. You make cheeseburgers and french fries in a happy silence, while The Doors play quietly in the background on your record player. You’ve never realized just how at ease he makes you feel until this moment.Everything feels so normal and simple.
You’re happy.
“Okay, what do you wanna watch?” you ask as you two sit on your sofa.
“I chose last time.”
“You’re a guest.”
“No, you just don’t like making decisions.”
“You’re annoying,” you tease and he chuckles. “How about...’Vivacious Lady’?”
“I don’t think we’ve watched that one yet.”
“Then ‘Vivacious Lady’ it is!”
Halfway through the movie, his phone rings and he rolls his eyes when checks it before ignoring it and putting it down.
“Andy-”
“She can wait.”
“She’s gonna get pissed.”
“She’s always pissed.”
“She’s gonna think you’re cheating.”
“She always thinks I’m cheating.”
“Andy-”
“I’m happy right now, Y/N. So fucking happy. I just want to enjoy it a little bit longer before I have to go home and deal with whatever bullshit she has waiting for me this time.”
“Why do you stay with her? You’re not happy, Jake isn’t happy-”
“Do we have to get into it now?”
“Yes.”
“I’m just...before Jacob’s trial, we were so happy. I don’t know, maybe it was all fake because she never knew the truth about my past. She fell in love with the version of myself that I made up so I could forget about my past. It’s really fucking hard to accept that it’s over. Yeah, she says she loves me and she wants to make it work, but I don’t know how much I believe it. Yeah, we both make good money, but I’m the DA. That title still has some pull around here and people are nice to me just because I’m Andy Barber. She likes that. She likes it a lot. I keep holding on to hope that we’ll get back to how we were, but I just...I don’t know. Saying “it’s over” and following through are two very different things. I guess I’m just in denial,” he sighs before downing the rest of his drink.
You pause the movie and turn to look at him. “Stop feeling like you owe her something-”
“Y/N-”
“Just hear me out,” you interrupt softly. “The argument can be made that mistakes happened on both sides, and yeah, fine. In that sense, neither one of you owes each other anything. However, you didn’t cheat, she did. You’re not keeping her on a tight leash out of fear that she’ll cheat on you like you did her; she is. You’re not the one taking your anger out on Jacob, she is, and you aren’t the one who gave up on the marriage. She is. So, why are you putting yourself through hell? What does it prove? That you’re willing to make yourself miserable for someone who you don’t love the same way you did before? Things happen, and sometimes things fall apart. You making yourself miserable isn’t going to change anything. You heard Jacob tonight. He wishes you two would get a divorce, and I think you do, too.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because you’re here with me instead of at home with your wife,” you tell him softly.
Andy sighs before rubbing the back of his neck, “you’re annoyingly smart.”
“Yeah, Jacob says the same thing,” you smirk at him before resuming the movie.
“You know...you’re gonna find someone who’s gonna treat you right.”
“I’m not holding my breath,” you snort before finishing off your drink. “Do you want another?”
“Why don’t you think you’re gonna find a good man?”
“Do you want another drink?”
“Oh no, you don’t get rake me over the coals then decide you’re gonna shut down.”
“I’m not shutting down,” you mutter, reaching across him and grabbing his glass before getting up and grabbing your own and getting, making your way over to the island.
“Then what’s going on?”
“If I say it out loud, it’ll sound stupid and I don’t exactly want to feel stupid in front of you.”
“Why would it be stupid?”
“Andy.”
“Talk to me, honey.”
“I just...I know what people in this town think of me, okay? I don’t date guys my age, because they’re too immature for me. I don’t take the older guys I sleep with seriously, because I know they’re just looking for a good time. The few that I gave a fair shot to, got mad because I wasn’t some dumb young thing they could control. As long as I’m here, I’m never going to have anything real. That’s just...that’s how it is and it’s whatever. I fuck around from time to time and it gets me by.”
“Why did you think that would make you sound stupid?”
“Because I sound like a child.”
“Wanting to be loved doesn’t make you sound like a child. It makes you sound like a regular adult. A regular person. We all want to be loved.”
“Yeah well, you’re sweet.”
“I mean it, sweetheart. There’s nothing childish about wanting to be loved as you are, and for who you are. God knows you’ve more than earned it.”
“I just don’t like being vulnerable, you know that.”
“It’s me.”
“Especially with you.”
“What does that mean?”
“You can always see right through me and it just...sometimes, it feels like you know exactly what I’m thinking. I feel like...sometimes you know me better than Jacob.”
“You don’t like that?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“It’s getting late and you should go.”
“What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“No, you’re upset. What-”
“Andy, you didn’t do anything, honestly. I’m just...I wish there were more guys like you,” you smile softly. “Maybe then, I wouldn’t hate it here so much.”
“The feeling is mutual,” he quietly responds.
“We should call it a night. We both have work in the morning, Laurie’s already wondering where you are-”
“We were having a good night, and I feel like-”
“Don’t feel like anything, because you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just in a weird head space.”
“Why do I always feel like I put you in a weird head space.”
“Andy-”
“Am I doing something wrong? Did I make you uncomfortable?”
“Andy, you do everything right, and that’s the problem. I shouldn’t feel like you’re the guy doing everything right. I shouldn’t feel as comfortable with you as I do,” you confess softly.
“Do you want me to go?”
“No, and that’s why you should,” you almost sniffle.
Andy lets out a sorrowful sigh, and in a way, that makes you feel worse. He’s fighting off the same thing you are. You both know that the intimacy you both crave isn’t right. It’s not so much sexual as it personal. You want him to hold you until you fall asleep, and he wants to. You want him to pepper your cheeks with soft and loving kisses, and you can tell that he’s dying to.
You’re dying for Andy to be yours and he wants nothing more than that.
For now? You’ll just blame the alcohol and pretend you won’t remember in the morning.
“Let me know when you’re home, okay?” you ask as you both stand by your door.
“We can just pretend-”
“No...no we can’t. Lets just stop while we’re ahead,” you smile weakly, ignoring the pain in your heart.
This is the right the thing to do.
Andy stands there with outstretched arms, and you’re more than happy to make your way over to him as he engulfs you in one of the best hugs hes ever given you.
“You’re better than all the rest,” he whispers into your hair before kissing it and letting go of you, opening the door, and walking out.
In that moment, you decide to let go of all of the fantasies you’ve ever had about Andy Barber. He isn’t yours (even if he does divorce Laurie), he’s Jacob’s father, and he’s never going to see you as you see him. If anything, you’d just be a welcomed distraction and a fun time. So, you start seeing him less and come up with excuses as to why he can’t come over. You miss him like crazy but what’s the point? Why torture yourself (or him) over something that can never happen?
Everything works out well enough until December.
“Okay, so ya know how I said you, me, and Sarah are gonna have a movie this Friday night?” Jacob asks from the speakers of your car asks as you drive home.
“Yeah?”
“Well, I completely forgot that, that night is the holiday party at my dad’s job. Which, I usually don’t care about, but he’s getting an award and I wanna be there for him.”
“Aww, that’s great, Jake,” you smile as you come to a stop light. “We’ll reschedule for another day-”
“Well, I want you to come cause I still want to hangout.”
“I don’t even want think about the cost of-”
“You don’t have to! My mom isn’t going and I ran it past my dad, and he’s fine with it!”
“Why isn’t your mom going?”
“Who knows,” he scowls “they’ve been arguing a lot more lately. I’m pretty sure I heard him throw out the word ‘divorce’ at least three times last night, and she was crying and begging him not to. I’m fairly sure hes been sleeping on the sofa.”
“How’s the apartment search going for you and Sarah?”
“On hold for the holidays, but we think we found a place we wanna move into by February.”
“Good, get the fuck out of that house.”
“I try not to think about it, anyway, will you come? Sarah is more than happy to go shopping with you for a dress.”
“Jacob.”
“Please?”
“When is it?”
“This Friday.”
“Jacob!”
“You usually have Saturdays off!”
“Does it really mean all that much to you?”
“Don’t make me feel like an asshole about this.”
“Oh, now you feel like an asshole?”
“Y/N-”
“I...I’ll go,” you sigh as you pull into the parking garage of your complex.
“Don’t make it sound like a death sentence.”
“You have to sit by him and I’ll sit on the other side of Sarah.”
“Why can’t you sit by him?”
“I’m not married to him, nor am I related to him, and he’s the DA. Me sitting by him won’t look good.”
“I didn’t think about that. Yeah, you’re right. I’ll sit by him, Sarah will sit by me, and you’ll sit by Sarah.”
“Lovely.”
“Y/N-”
“I just need to wash off today, it was shitty and I’m tired.”
“If you’re this upset about it-”
“I’m not, I’ll see you Friday and please let Sarah know that I’ll text her later about dress shopping later.”
“Y/N-”
“It’s just been a really long day, Jacob.”
“I love you.”
“And I love you. Talk to you later?”
“Sounds good,” he sighs before hanging up.
You turn off your car and think things over for a bit before deciding on something you probably shouldn’t have.
“Well, look who it is,” Andy scowls after answering his phone.
“Why isn’t Laurie going to the party?”
“We got into an argument, she doesn’t want to go, and I do.”
“Why doesn’t she want to go?”
“I want to see you.”
“Andy.”
“Why are you staying away?”
“You know why.”
“We haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Have you told Laurie where you’ve been spending your time?”
“Why does she need to know?”
“Andy-”
“I miss you, Y/N.”
You sigh in defeat and run a hand through your hair, “I miss you too.”
“Let me come over.”
“What did you two argue about?”
“Let me come over and I’ll tell you all about it.”
“Andy.”
“Y/N.”
“Two hours, that’s it. After two hours, you have to go home.”
“Two hours it is,” is all he says before hanging up.
You don’t know why you have butterflies in your stomach as you make your way inside of the building and up to your apartment, but you can’t shake them. You’re not going to do anything (you never do anything with him). Simply being alone with him sets your body alight with passion and excitement.
You’re quick to change: the big, black, knitted wool sweater he seems to like you in and a pair of gray sweatpants. You hurry into the kitchen, grabbing one of the bigger wine glasses and filling it. You know you should’ve told him one hour instead of two, but you really do miss him. You miss him so fucking much.
You get halfway through the glass when you hear him knock on your.
“You should turn on the heater,” he says after you open the door, stepping aside to let him in.
“I did just get home from work,” you mutter, quickly closing the door.
“Yet you changed and have a full glass of wine.”
“Priorities,” you shrug.
“You’re gonna catch a cold,” he scolds as he makes his way over to the thermostat.
“Germs get you sick, not the cold.”
“Why the attitude?”
“Why isn’t Laurie going to the party?”
“Why do you need to know?”
“Why don’t you want to tell me?”
“Because you’ll get mad and I don’t want that.”
“Jacob said you threw around the word ‘divorce’ a few times.”
“That I did,”Andy sighs as he finally takes off his coat, leaving it on the coat rack he bought you as house warming gift, before making his way to the kitchen and making himself a drink.
“She won’t agree?”
“Nope.”
“Andy-”
“I don’t like not seeing you, Y/N.”
“You didn’t come over here for this, don’t start that shit,” you sigh, quickly regretting your decision to agree to see him.
“Why are you avoiding me?”
“You don’t wanna tell me about your argument with Laurie, I don’t wanna talk about this,” you shrug.
“Why are you arguing with me right now?!”
“Because you’re annoying, Andy!”
“I’m annoy-you’re annoying!”
“Then why are you here?!”
“Because I miss you!” he snaps, slamming his glass down.
You take a deep breath before finishing off your glass and making your way to your to kitchen and pouring yourself another glass. “Why isn’t she going to the party?”
“Will you just stop it? You miss me too.”
“Yeah well, I fucking shouldn’t.”
“Why not? We’re just friends-”
“Andy, just because I’m the younger one doesn’t mean I’m naive enough to be believe-”
“Don’t. Don’t you dare. You know I would never try to belittle you or think less of you because you’re younger. That’s not fair.”
“Then why-”
“Because I know what can’t happen. You’re Jacob’s best friend and I know that what people think of you still bothers you. I wouldn’t ever do anything to make your life harder, especially while I’m still married. I would never ask that of you. So, we’re just friends. All we can be is just friends,” he finishes with a frustrated sigh.
You’re ready to tell him that he can do whatever he wants to with you, when your phone goes off.
You scowl in irritation (even though you know it’s for the best) as quickly make your way to the bedroom and answer your phone. “Hello?”
“We’re going dress shopping!!” Sarah squeals and you can’t stop yourself from laughing a little.
“That we are.”
“We never go shopping together, I’m so excited! What time should I pick you up tomorrow?”
“You don’t have to pick me-”
“Oh no, we’re making a day of this! Call in sick and then I’ll pick you up and we’ll spend the day shopping!”
“You are way too excited about this.”
“It’s gonna be so much fun! I feel like we haven’t spent a day together in so long!”
“I’ll text my boss tonight and tell him I feel like shit. He’s got a crush on me anyway, so I’m pretty sure I can get my way for a while.”
“Ah! This is perfect! Oh! Lets do brunch! I’ll pick you up at 12:30 and we’ll brunch first, then shop!”
“Sounds like a plan,” you laugh.
“Ugh, I can’t wait! This is gonna be so much fun! I’ll text you later, okay?”
“Sounds good, see you tomorrow?”
“Fuck yeah!” she squeals before hanging up.
You laugh to yourself before shaking your head. What the hell did you get yourself into?
“Wanna watch a movie with me?” Andy asks as you make your way out of your bedroom.
“We don’t have enough time for a movie.”
“Just stop. There’s no fucking time limit on this.”
“There should be.”
“Y/N-”
“Andy this isn’t right and you know it.”
“I miss watching movies with my best friend.”
“Laurie should be your best friend.”
“But she isn’t, not anymore,” he states softly, meeting you intense gaze. “Lets order dinner and watch a movie. I’m not going to do anything and you’re too good of a person to do anything. Lets just get sushi and enjoy the night.”
“You’re paying for the sushi,” you mutter, making your way to your little living area.
“Sounds like a plan,” he laughs softly, following right behind.
As you text your boss a bullshit excuse as to why you won’t be in tomorrow, you tell yourself that your Andy Barber fantasy is over, but it’s just a lie. Andy just basically admitted that he feels the same for you as you do for him, and it only makes you want him more. After you two finish dinner, he lets you choose the movie for the night, and you decide on ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ without hesitation.
One of your favorite movies.
You don’t know if it’s because of how much wine you’ve had, or how tired you are, but you find yourself cuddling up against him and not pulling away when he wraps his arms around you. You want, more than anything, to stay this way forever. Every so often, he presses soft kisses into your hair. and want so badly for him to kiss you everywhere else.
You’ve never felt so happy and safe and, at some point, you drift off .
“What’s happening?” you question lazily as you feel yourself almost floating, curling into Andy.
“It’s time for bed,” Andy chuckles softly.
“I don’t wanna go to bed.”
“Then you shouldn’t have gone to sleep.”
“Are you staying?”
“You know I can’t,” Andy sighs as he rests you down on the bed.
“I want you to,” you fuss as you get comfortable under the sheets.
“Don’t be difficult.”
“Then stay here.”
“You know I can’t,” he repeats as he gets off the bed.
“At least until I fall asleep?”
“I’d stay forever, if I could,” he tells you softly as he gets in next to you.
You turn over and hold him tight as you lay your head on his chest.
“Thank you,” you tell him softly as you quickly fall back into a state of unconsciousness.
“Anything for you,” he tells you softly, kissing the top of your head as he strokes your back softly. “I would do absolutely anything for you.”
**
When you wake up, you’re alone and somewhat heartbroken, and that irritates you. You already knew he wasn’t going to stay, and you know you can never be with the man, so why do you keep letting yourself fall for him more and more? Even if Andy was single, he’d still be Jacob’s dad. Jacob would never be okay with it, and you would never ask him to be.
You need to get over him.
“Hey, what’s up with you today, hun?” Sarah asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.
“Hmm?”
“You’ve been a million miles away since I picked you up,” she laughs. “You’ve barely touched your mimosa.”
“I just have a lot on my mind,” you laugh awkwardly before taking a sip.
“Care to share with the class?”
It sucks that your only other friend is your best friend’s girlfriend.
“You can’t say anything to Jacob,” you all but whisper.
“I won’t say a word.”
“I mean it, Sarah. You have to promise me.”
“I promise, Y/N. What’s wrong?”
“I...uh...I uh, think...I know I have a thing for And- I mean, Mr. Barber,” you quickly correct before downing the rest of your drink.
“Oh no.”
“Listen, I know nothing can ever happen, I’m not dumb, but I just...I don’t know, Sarah. We just bonded the day he helped me move into my place, along with Jacob. It started with just texting every so often, then phone calls at night, and then he started coming over. Nothing has happened, but...what the fuck is wrong with Laurie? How could she cheat on him?!”
“I’m sorry, come again?”
“Fuck, don’t tell Jacob!” you groan as the waiter comes over.
“Are you two ready to put in an order for food?” he kindly asks.
“Uh no, but we will take two more pitchers of mimosas as well as two pitchers of Merlot,” Sarah smiles at the man as you face palm yourself.
“Will do,” the man smiles awkwardly before walking away.
“We have to find me a dress, still.”
“Oh, we’ll find you a damn dress alright. Now what happened?”
“Some time after the trial, Laurie was still having reservations about everything, and she cheated on him. He said that she cried to him about it at 2am a few weeks later, and that’s when things really started going even more downhill. He doesn’t want Jacob to know because he thinks it’ll make everything worse.”
“It definitely will, but Jacob isn’t a child. He has a right to know.”
“Sarah.”
“I know I know, but it’s frustrating.”
“Imagine how I feel,” you smile sarcastically as the drinks are delivered. “So, anyway, I knew that I was starting to become too attached, so I’ve been seeing him less. Now, there’s this fucking party tomorrow and I don’t want to go, because...ugh, when Jacob called and told me yesterday, he said Laurie wasn’t going because they got into an argument. He said Andy threw around the word ‘divorce’ a few times, and I just...what the fuck am I supposed to do? So, I called Andy and asked him what it was about and all he kept saying is that he wanted to see me. He said he’d tell me if I let him come over, so I finally agreed.”
“Well, did he hint at what the argument was about?”
“He never told me. We ordered sushi and watched ‘Breakfast at Tiffanys’,” you sigh.
“Fuck.”
“I told him that we have to stop, because it’s wrong, and he said that he knows we can’t do anything, because I’m Jacob’s best friend and he knows that it still bothers me that everyone in this shit hole thinks so little of me. He also said he’d never ask anything of me while he’s still married.”
“Which means, if you had a different best friend...”
“So, that’s been running through my mind all day.”
“Well...shit.”
“What makes it worse is that this is exactly why Laurie didn’t want me around him-”
“Fuck Laurie, I’m sorry but that was bullshit. You didn’t hit on Mr. Matthews, and she fucking knew that. She made you feel like shit because of her own insecurities.”
“Be that as it may, she was afraid of me stealing him and now look.”
“I mean, it’s not like he wants to stay in the relationship. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve gone to that house and have heard them arguing. He usually gets fed up and storms out, and will stay out for hours.”
“I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“But you both want to be together.”
“He’s married, Sarah. Everyone here already thinks I’m man stealing whore, I don’t need to actually prove them right.”
“Fuck this town and the people in it. Mr. Matthews wasn’t even all that great, and you were a kid. They should’ve fucking stood beside you. This town is really good at blaming the wrong fucking people.”
“Speaking of that, there’s Jacob.”
“He’ll get over it.”
“He won’t like it. I’m younger than him!”
“Only by a few months! Listen, he’ll throw his little hissy fit, then he’ll be happy, cause both you and Andy will be happy.”
“You’re surprisingly happy about this.”
“I mean, I can see it. It doesn’t seem too far fetched to me, the more I think about it. You two are more alike than I ever thought.”
“You’re supposed to be telling me to stay away from him.”
“Probably, but it seems like a stupid thing to say. I’m not telling you to sleep with a married man, but it’s not even like he wants to be married anymore. Jacob told me that shes been begging him to go to marriage counseling, and he doesn’t want to. He’s over trying.”
“Even if he does leave her, which I really don’t believe he’ll do, what-”
“Why don’t you believe he will?”
“He’s in denial about it and why wouldn’t he be? They’ve been together for so long.”
“Babe, everyone can see that time is running out on that marriage. Jacob said he seemed pretty adamant about that divorce last night.”
“I’m not holding my breath. I don’t know, I just...I don’t know. What if Jacob thinks I’m the reason Andy is pushing so hard for this divorce?”
“So what if you are? You two haven’t actually done anything, have you?”
“I mean, we cuddled last night and he held me until I fell asleep, only because I asked him to though. He kissed the top of my head a few times.”
“Oh, you two are desperate for each other,” she giggles before taking a giant swig of her drink. “I see where Jacob gets it from.”
“Huh?”
“Before Jacob and I started having sex, he was always afraid that he was moving too fast and that he was gonna scare me off. After everything that happened, he was afraid sex would scare me off,” she scoffed before rolling her eyes. “Anyway, that was his way of showing me that he’s ready when I’m ready. Longing stares, holding me close, kissing the top of my head or my temple, just little ways to show that he’s ready to take the next step but that there’s no pressure.”
“I don’t think that’s what Andy’s doing. We were both just sad. He misses me and I miss him.”
“He told you that?”
“He said he misses watching movies with his best friend. When I told him that Laurie should be his best friend, he said she isn’t anymore.”
“Well, what are you gonna do?”
“The only thing I can do, stay away and mind my business. I won’t be the reason for their divorce.”
“Hate to break it to you, honey, but there’s no avoiding that at this point. Andy Barber has a thing for you, and he’s not getting over you any time soon,” she smirks softly before grabbing her drink
As the day goes on, and you two get drunker, her words roll around in your head.
Does Andy really have a thing for you, or is he just sad and looking for someone to make him feel better? Is it really all that wrong to explore since he’s trying to get out of his marriage anyway? If you ever decided that it was something you wanted to try and explore, would Jacob actually ever get over it, or would he hate you forever?
The more you think about it, the more annoyed you are. Why are you setting yourself up? You can’t ever be with him, so why does it even matter? None of it should matter.
“You have to pick on a dress,” Sarah slurs as you two clumsily make your way around the store.
“Everything feels inappropriate.”
“Well, if you’re not going to reel him in, you can at least reel someone in for the night,” she smirks at you and you let out a loud laugh.
“You’re a terrible influence!”
“I just want you to be happy,” she smirks with a shrug before her eyes land on a dress. “You have to try this on!! You’ll look so good!”
“Sarah! No!I can’t-”
“Why not? Make him fight harder for that divorce.”
“No!”
“You know you like it! Try it on!”
“Sarah-”
“Try it on,” she repeats, giving you the dress.
You begrudgingly take the dress and make your way to one of the fitting rooms, quickly undressing and pulling the dress on. The fact that it fits you like a glove only irritates you more, because you really do love it. However, you don’t want to wear it in front of Andy.
“Well, come on, lets see it!” Sarah calls from the other side of the door.
You scowl as you make your way out. “Don’t say anything-”
“He’s gonna have a hard time keeping his hands off of you,” she snickers as she looks you over “you look amazing.”
“I shouldn’t wear this-”
“The damage is already done, you may as well enjoy it,” she shrugs.
“I forgot how much of a trouble maker drunk you is.”
“I live for the chaos, baby,” she smirks and you burst out laughing.
At some point, Sarah calls Jacob and asks him to pick the both of you up. You know you shouldn’t, but you feel so guilty when he pulls up outside of the store. You haven’t done anything with Andy, so you don’t know why you feel like you’ve betrayed Jacob.
“Why are you so quiet back there?” Jacob smirks as he looks up at you from the rear view mirror.
“Words are hard,” you mumble as you gaze out the window.
“Bullshit, you haven’t been yourself in weeks. What’s going on with you?”
“Leave her alone,” Sarah snaps with a slur.
“Why do you get to know and I don’t?”
“Because I’m a lady and boys have cooties,” she says matter-of-factly, with a s smirk while Jacob laughs.
“Fine fine, what time should we pick you up tomorrow?” Jacob asks as pulls up to your complex.
“You don’t have to-”
“It makes more sense for us all to go together. I promise we won’t stay too long. I think my dad is just looking for a reason to get out of the house, honestly.”
“Does your mom knowing I’m going?”
“I don’t know, probably. They had another one of their famous mind numbing arguments, so who knows. He kinda stormed out last night and didn’t come back till late, and I haven’t seen him yet today. I’ll just tell her when I get home, no big deal,” he shrugs and you feel a pang of guilt.
Another painful reminder that Andy Barber is off limits.
“I’ll text you when I get home from work tomorrow, and we can choose a time then. For now, I need to lay down,” you sigh as you grab the big black garment bag that contains your dress, before opening your door and getting out. “Jacob, thank you for picking us up, and Sarah, thank you for getting me entirely too drunk,” you smirk as they both laugh. “I love you both, please be careful.”
“Yes mom,” Jacobs scowls and you flip him off, before stepping back and he pulls off.
The minute you get into your apartment, you hang the garment bag up on the coat rack, followed by your coat, before toeing off your shoes. You know you shouldn’t but you go into the kitchen and make yourself a drink, just wanting to be numb.
You’re in the middle of searching for the menu to your (and Andy’s) favorite Chinese place, when the your phone starts going off.
“Hmm?” you answer lazily, still looking for the menu.
“What color is the dress you got?” Andy asks and you roll your eyes.
“Go away.”
“No.”
“Andy.”
“Hmm?”
“Don’t start this shit.”
“You can always hangup.”
“We both know I won’t. Plus, I’m drunk and am in no mood to be responsible one right now.”
“It’s 4:30 and you’re drunk?”
“Sarah and I had a talk during brunch that we both needed to be drunk for.”
“What was it about?”
“Don’t you worry about that.”
“Ya know, for a while, you told me everything.”
“Yeah well, you and Jacob can pout about it together, because I didn’t tell him either.”
“Ah, you and Sarah had a talk about you and me.”
“There is no you and me,” you huff, finally finding the menu and ignoring the pain you feel in your heart at what you just said.
“I’m trying to get her to sign the papers-”
“What does that mean to me? It doesn’t change the fact that you’re still Jacob’s dad. We just talked about this last night,” you sniffle as you put your glass down and wipe your eyes.
Fucking alcohol.
“Please don’t cry, sweetheart,” he begs softly. “Listen, if it’s making you this upset, don’t come tomorrow night-”
“That’s not an option because Jacob is really fucking excited. Also, I just got a dress just for this.”
“I’m sorry I’m so selfish.”
“It’s not like I’m not either.”
“There’s not a selfish bone in your body,” Andy sighs and you can tell he’s at war with himself. “Should I tell Jacob to go over?”
“No, because I’m not gonna tell him why I’m crying and he’s already worried about me, because he can tell something’s wrong.”
“Sarah?”
“She’s just as drunk as me. It’ll be like the blind leading the blind.”
“Well who? You know I don’t like leaving you alone when you’re upset. Especially, when you’re crying.”
“You don’t like to leave me alone at all.”
“That’s true,” he chuckles softly and a small smile comes to your face.
You could listen to him chuckle and laugh all day.
“You don’t have to worry about me, Andy.”
“It’s not like I can stop it. It’s not like I haven’t tried to stop it.”
“You have work to do.”
“I’m done.”
“Then go home.”
“Laurie’s home so I’d rather not.”
“Then what are you gonna do?”
“Sit in my office.”
“You can’t do that, Andy.”
“It’s my office, I can do whatever I want,” his says with a little smart-ass tone, and you can tell he’s grinning.
“I don’t like the thought of you sitting all alone in your office.”
“Well, I don’t like the thought of you sitting all alone in your apartment.”
“What are you gonna do for food?”
“Order Chinese food and have it delivered here.”
“Just come over,” you mumble in defeat.
“You just said-”
“We’re both about to order Chinese food, and I’m more than sure we’re about to get it from the same damn place. Just...just come over.”
“Sweetheart-”
“This is...it’s the last time. After this, we can’t do any of this anymore. We’re just making the wound worse, and it’s not fair to either of us. So, I’ll put in the order-”
“I can put in the order and pick it up.”
“I already have the menu out and I know what we both want. Just get over here.”
“Yes ma’am,” he laughs softly.
You quickly call the Chinese place and order 2 containers of dumplings (fried) for you both to split, a sushi platter that consisted of a dragon roll, Alaska roll, a tempura roll, and a kani roll, an order of the house special lo mein for Andy, an order of Singapore mei fun for yourself, and an order of two egg rolls for the both of you.
If it’s going to be the last hangout, you may as well make the most of it.
Finally, you go into your room and change out of your clothes, pulling on a pair of Boston University sweatpants and a ‘Rolling Stones’ t-shirt, before putting your hair up in a messy bun. After pulling on your fuzzy socks, you make your way into the kitchen and grab a glass, putting in only one ice cube before pouring some bourbon in it.
As if perfectly timed, there’s a soft knock on your door, and a small smile comes to your face.
“You didn’t waste any time, did you?” you giggle as you open the door and step aside, holding out the glass you made for him.
“Wanna get in as much time as I can since this is the last time,” Andy sighs as he takes the glass out of your hand and makes his way inside.
“You know I’m right, Andy.”
“That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“Lets just enjoy the night, okay?” you scowl as you make your way into the living room and grabbing your drink.
“Why are you still drinking?”
“Because it’s been a long fucking day, Andrew.”
“Well, when you say my name like that,” he smirks as he makes his way over to you, and wraps his arms around you. “How’d you sleep?”
“Shitty. You?”
“Shitty.”
“Sofa again?”
“Of course you know about that.”
“Jacob tells me everything, you know that.”
“So why-”
“So why won’t she sign the papers?”
“Ask her.”
“I’m asking you.”
“Honey, I don’t know. I don’t have a single fucking clue,” he glowers as someone knocks on the door and announces ‘delivery’.
Before you even have a chance to move, Andy’s pulling out his wallet and making his way over to your apartment door. He pays the person, takes the food into the kitchen and grabs a couple of plates for you both, before finally bringing everything into your little living area.
“You didn’t have to pay.”
“You ordered it, the least I can do is pay for it. However,” he laughs as he takes a seat next to you “I wasn’t aware that you were gonna order the entire menu.”
“Only of all our favorite things. Figured we’d make the most of the night.”
“And you’re drunk.”
“Both can be true,” you tease before sticking out your tongue, and he laughs softly.
You’re both about to start opening up the food when there’s a knock on your door. Both you and Andy look at each other with a raised eyebrow before you answer.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s uh...it’s Mrs. Barber,” she responds softly.
Andy is up before you can look in his direction, grabbing all of the food, plates, his drink, and placing them all in your bedroom, before coming back out and grabbing his coat off of the coat rack and disappearing into your bedroom.
The man is efficient.
You try to calm your nerves as you slowly make your over to the door, suddenly feeling a bit more sober than you were before. “Hey,” you smile as you slowly open the door, realizing that she’s never seen your place...and that you’ve never been alone with her.
“I just realized I’m the only Barber who hasn’t seen this place,” she smiles awkwardly as she makes her way inside.
“That’s right, Mr. Barber helped us move everything in,”
“I know you were out with Sarah-”
“How is she?”
“She’s fine, sleeping it off in Jacob’s room,” she chuckles before anxiously rubbing the back of her neck. “You’re always so thoughtful and that makes me...”
“Mrs. Barber-”
“You can call me Laurie. You should. I honestly shouldn’t even be here, but I do want to tell you that the place looks great,” she mutters awkwardly as she looks around.
“Well, thank you, but-”
“Before I say anything else, I want to apologize. I know you heard what I said few years ago and you didn’t deserve that. It’s not that I have an issue with you, you’ve been nothing but great to Jacob. You don’t know how happy it makes me that both Sarah and him have you in your life, but...”
“You don’t like me around Mr. Barber.”
“I know you’ve done nothing to warrant it, but I know how you are-and there’s nothing wrong with that !” she quickly defends when you quietly scoff. “You’re young and gorgeous, and you should have fun while you’re young, before you start the next chapter of your life. Hell, sometimes I’m jealous because I never got to explore that part of myself. I fell in love and became a mother young, and that’s...I’m paying the price for it now,” she smiles weakly. “The thing is, Jacob and his father are more alike that people tend to realize-”
“Jacob’s never had a thing for me.”
“I hear the conversations you two have, the debates, your taste in music and movies, hell, you two have the same favorite Chinese place,” she laughs incredulously. “No, you’re not Jacob’s type, but you’re definitely Andy’s. I know Jacob tells you everything, so I know that you know that things are a bit rocky right now. I have no one to blame but myself, but I’m trying to fix everything and I can’t...I can’t do that with you in the picture.”
“So, do you just want me to stay away all together?” you sniffle, doing your best to hold back your tears.
“I’m fine...I’m fine with you being friends with Jacob. He needs you in his life and we need you in his life. I just...I know you’re going to the party tomorrow and that’s fine. Jacob’s excited and you bought the dress today...it’s fine. However, after this-”
“Stay away from Mr. Barber,” you nod with a soft smile.
“I know-”
“I’ve never done anything to you, Laurie. Even after you said what you said, I didn’t yell, I didn’t tell Jacob, and I didn’t make you feel like shit. I kept it to myself.”
“Y/N-”
“I just want you to keep that in mind the next time you decide to think little of me. I will steer clear of you and your husband, you don’t need to worry about me,” you smile softly.
Laurie says nothing. She just stands there and nods before slowly making her way out. The second the door closes, your bedroom door opens.
“She had no fucking right!” Andy all but yells as he storms out.
“Andy stop, she can probably still here you.”
“Good-”
“There’s no sense in making it worse,” you sob, finally letting your tears fall.
“Oh honey,” he sighs, making his way over to and wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. “You’ve done nothing-”
“No matter what I do, she’s always just going to think of me as some home wrecking whore. It doesn’t matter that I never did anything wrong. It’s never going to matter.”
“Stop it. You are a fucking saint, Y/N. You haven’t done a thing wrong, and you’re probably the most selfless person I know. Let’s just...let’s enjoy our dinner, okay?”
“Andy-”
“You have no reason to feel bad, you’ve done nothing wrong. Between the two of us, I’m the guilty one. Lets just enjoy dinner, okay?”
“Okay.”
Andy does his best to cheer you up as he brings the food back out, and puts on a movie you love, but even he can tell that you’re a million miles away.
“Y/N-”
“She’s always going to think less of me,” you sniffle as you throw your container of food down. “What’s the point of me trying to do the right thing, if this is how it’s always going to be? What’s the fucking point?”
“Honey, I know it’s easier said than done, but just ignore Laurie. You’ve seen enough and you know enough, to know that no one can do right by her. Especially because she’s incapable of holding herself accountable for anything.”
“If she’s just going to act like this, I don’t see why we don’t...” you trail off.
“Why we don’t what?”
“Nothing, just forget I said anything.”
“Y/N-”
“Andy, please don’t,” you smile weakly.
Andy’s only response is letting out a deep sigh before pulling you close and holding you tight. You settle up against him and take in his scent and his warmth, knowing you’ll never have a moment like this with him again. As he gently kisses the top of your head, you find yourself drifting off to sleep and wondering what it would be like to have all of affection.
You wonder what it would be like to have all of his heart.
**
When your alarm wakes you up the next day, you’re in bed alone and under the covers. You feel anger towards yourself as your eyes start to water, for not staying awake longer. The last night you got to spend with him and you fell asleep almost immediately after dinner. You wanted nothing more than to just stay in his embrace and hear his voice as much as possible. You were robbed of full night with your most favorite person, and you have no one to blame for it but yourself.
You try and get yourself out of your funk as you get ready for work, but you just feel empty and lonely. What you’re doing is for the best, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. By the time you arrive at work, you’ve cried and have had to reapply makeup twice.
You can’t wait to get to the part where this doesn’t feel like the hardest thing you’ve ever done.
“Oh, that’s not a face that looks ready for the holidays,” your boss smirks as he makes his way over to your desk, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes.
“How may I help you, Mr. Hathaway?” you smile the best you can as he leans against your desk.
“I’ve told you at least a hundred times, call me Thomas.”
“And I’ve told you that I’m not comfortable doing that. It’s unprofessional.”
“Maybe I want us to be unprofessional,” he smirks suggestively.
You take a deep breath before putting your pen down and look up to meet his sultry gaze, “how may I help you, Mr. Hathaway?”
“Go out with me tonight.”
“No thank you.”
“Why not?”
“Besides the fact that you’re my boss and it would be unprofessional, and that I don’t want to, I have plans tonight.”
“Oh? And what are you up to?”
“A party.”
“A party that you can’t bring a friend to?”
“It’s not that type of party, plus it’s not my party.”
“Well, make sure to let your friend know I’m offended.”
“I will make sure to let the DA know you’re offended,” you scoff without thinking.
“Oh?”
“I’m best friends with his son and Jacob invited me. No more and no less. District Attorney Barber is happily married.”
“I guess I’ll just have to try again another time,” he shrugs with a mournful sigh. “I’m not a man who gives up easily,” he winks before getting up and walking away.
It takes all of your energy not to let out a frustrated sigh and slam your hand down on your desk, but you remember how much you make and that you have bills. You grab your phone and instantly start to text Andy, before remembering that you have to stop going to him about everything. You want to tell Jacob, but you know he’ll just rip his head off. Telling Sarah is basically the same the thing as telling Jacob, so you just throw your phone back into your drawer and let out frustrated sigh and fight back tears.
It hasn’t even been a full day, and you miss the fuck out of Andrew Steven Barber.
Andy’s P.O.V
“Andy, did you hear me?” Lynn asks as she shakes me out of my thoughts.
“I’m sorry, I’m here. What’s going on?”
“Tonight, for the award-”
“Oh yeah, no, that’s completely taken care of. Jacob is going to present it since Laurie isn’t coming.”
“Is everything okay there?”
“Not really, no, but you’ve known that for a while,” I smile weakly as I take off my glasses and look up at her.
“Andy, if this is anything I did-”
“Laurie was Laurie long before anything happened with Jacob. The cracks were always there, we both just decided to pretend they weren’t. We were never supposed to end up together.”
“Andy-”
“It’s fine, Lynn. Sometimes things just don’t work out.”
“Andy, its not that work hasn’t been amazing as always, but you just seem far away. You’ve been going non-stop for a few years now, and it’s understandable if you want a break-”
“I’m fine, Lynn. I’m just tired of fighting her on this divorce. I’m tired of a lot of things. Work keeps me going and that’s what I need right now.”
“Andy-”
“Jacob is graduating soon and he’s gonna propose to Sarah this upcoming Summer. Probably his birthday, cause their anniversary isn’t until Fall. I need something to keep me going, Lynn.”
“Just...just let me know if you need time, okay?”
“Will do,” I tell her reassuringly as she gives me a small smile.
As she walks out, I can’t help but think of you. All I want is you. Every time I have to leave you, it’s the hardest thing in the fucking world. Now, I don’t even get to leave you, and for what? What’s the reason for two adults not being together? One way or another, I’m leaving Laurie, so that just leaves Jacob. I’m putting my happiness on hold for my son, who is moving out and getting married soon anyway?
I owe him that though. I owe him and I owe you.
You’ve been through so much already and you don’t need anymore shit messing up your life. You don’t need me messing up your life. This town is so fucking stupid for not even trying to understand what a beautiful soul you are. You’re courageous, funny, charismatic, caring, generous, thoughtful, and...
And what am I doing?
I can’t fall for you. We can never happen, so I need to get over whatever the hell is going on in my head. This isn’t serious, I’m just upset. I’m hurt and you’re a more than welcomed distraction.
Except you aren’t.
You are so much more than that. When I’m around you, I feel like I can finally breathe again. Your smile lights up my heart and when you laugh, I swear it’s a melody God composed just for me. Holding you has now become an all consuming addiction for me and I don’t known how the hell I’m supposed to survive without it now.
How the hell I’m supposed to survive without you.
Everything about you is everything that I love. It’s insane ton me that no one sees all the love you have inside, and all the kindness you hold in your heart, and it infuriates me that people let you down at every turn. I don’t want to be another selfish asshole to let you down though, so if you saying that we need to stop seeing each is for the best....
I run a frustrated hand through my hair and let out an exasperated sigh, as I take out my phone and look for the one video that always makes me smile when I’m fed up and overwhelmed.
“Andy! I know how to drive!” you laughed as you slowly turn the corner.
“There’s no one on the road and you’re driving at the speed of ‘no’.”
“Your car is nice! I don’t wanna damage it!”
“You’re not gonna damage my car at 2am! If you were this nervous about it, why did you offer to drive it?”
“Cause it’s a really nice car and I really wanted to drive it,” you told me innocently as I burst out laughing. “Besides, you’re the one who wanted to go out at 2 in the morning for ice cream!”
“I had a hankering,” I shrugged as you started laughing again.
“And you couldn’t bother Jacob because....?”
“He’s a terrible conversationalist this late, especially when you first wake him up.”
“That’s a painfully good point,” you giggled as you came to a complete stop.
“The ice cream is right there! Why are you stopping?!”
“Cause there’s a fucking stop sign! It’s the law! You of all people should know that!”
“I’m not a fucking cop!”
“You’re just as good as one!”
“You’re insane, did you know that?”
“Why are you recording me anyway?”
“So, that the next time you tell me you’re a perfectly capable driver, I can pull up the this video and show you that you are not,” I snickered.
You deadpan and turned towards me, before flipping me off, and there was no way to stop the full bodied laugh that left my body.
“I am a capable driver! We got here in one piece, didn’t we?” you laughed as you finally pulled into the parking lot.
“Sweetheart, we left your place at 2 and we’re just getting here at 2:20.”
“So?”
“It’s a 10 minute drive!”
“It’s a 24 hour ice cream shop!”
“Thank God, or else I’d be fucked.”
“Oh fuck off,” you laughed as turned the car off.
That was the best night I’d had in a while and it made me realize a lot of things. Things that felt guilty for...things I still feel guilty for. I had more of a connection with my best friend’s son than I ever had with my own wife, and I had only known you for...2 months? How fucking pathetic is that?
We sat on the hood of my car that night, eating ice cream and talking until the sun came up. We were both so open and vulnerable with each other and that’s when I started that things were different. I wanted to change so many things after that night, but it was out of my control. All of this has felt out of my control and I can’t change that, can I?
I can’t stop myself from loving you, believe me, I fucking tried.
Before we left, you took a selfie of us as the sun was coming up, and it’s my favorite photo ever. Your smile is so big and genuine and I’d never felt so content in my life.
Ugh, what the fuck am I doing? I can’t do this to you. I can’t put you through more hell. That’s not love, but holy fuck do I wish you feel my love for you. Feel it and know just how great and deep it is.
As I look at the photo of us, I know what I have to do tonight. No, I don’t like it one bit and it’ll hurt like a mother fucker, but what else can i do? Staying away is in your best interest, and I’ll do anything to keep you happy. Happy and safe.
How else am I supposed to show you just how much I love you?
Y/N’s P.O.V
“I’m sure you look amazing!” Sarah sighs from your phone as you finish up a few last minute touches on your hair.
“I should have gotten a different dress,” you mutter as you look yourself over in the mirror. “My shoes are all wrong.”
“Stop it, no they aren’t. If it makes you feel any better, Mr. Barber seems to be just as anxious as you are.”
“He’s getting an award tonight.”
“Yeah okay, we’ll blame it on that. That makes sense,” she scoffs. “Listen, we’re gonna be leaving soon, so just clam down. I’m sure you look beautiful and we’re all gonna have a great time tonight. Just take a deep breath and we’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Sounds good,” you sigh before hanging up.
You know that everything is fine, but the thought of seeing Andy after everything that happened last night, it’s just too much. You know you can always say that you just don’t want to go, but you also can’t. Not when it’s this close and not when you’re so desperate to see Andy. Even if you can’t hold him, you can still hear his voice, and that’s better than nothing.You start pacing around in your apartment, trying to relax and telling yourself it’ll be okay. For fucks sake, you’re going to be in public with the man. If neither of you would act on anything private, there’s no way anything is gonna happen in public.
But still. The thought alone of just seeing Andy makes your whole body hot, and feel insanely alive all at once. Plus, you know Andy is going to look amazing, because he always does. How you’re supposed to be out with all of them tonight and not think some of the thoughts that you’ve been thinking lately is beyond you.
There’s also the fact that it’s just Andy. Andrew Steven Barber. In such a fast amount of time, he’s become the center of your world. You want to keep him safe, happy, laughing, and...
Well, you want him to feel loved.
Whether it’s late night drives, late night phone calls, movie nights, listening to him vent, holding him while you two sit in silence, or just indulging in his favorite movies when he’s frustrated...you want him to know that he’s so insanely loved.
That he’s insanely loved by you.
You can’t love him though. You’re not supposed to. He has been off limits since the day you met, even before then. Maybe it would be different if you two would have met when you were younger, but Laurie made sure that didn’t happen. No, when you finally met Andy, you were both adults and all of the rules that should’ve been in place went out the damn window.
Now, you’re just a woman with a broken heart, in love with a man that can never be yours.
Your phone buzzing pulls you out of your thoughts, and you take a deep breath before looking at it.
The Dark Lord: We’re here!
You look yourself over in the mirror one more time, making sure your grandmother’s blue, rhinestone encrusted butterfly pins are set perfectly, before grabbing your coat and purse, and slowly make your way out.
“Your hair looks amazing!” Sarah beams as you get in the backseat of Andy’s Audi.
“It’s alright.”
“No, it looks so good! I love it so much!”
“It really does look great,” Jacob smiles as he turns to look at you from the front seat.
“And you all haven’t even seen my outfit,” you laugh nervously as you close the door behind you. “Thanks for the ride, Mr. Barber.”
“Thanks for coming,” he smiles as your from rear view mirror, “your hair really does look nice.”
“Thanks, yours doesn’t look so bad yourself,” you smile softly as you put on your seat belt. “Excited for your award tonight?”
“I have a feeling that it’s out of pity, so no,” he scoffs as he pulls off.
“Dad, you’ve worked hard your entire career,” Jacob encourages “you deserve this.”
“It would be a lot easier to believe if-”
“Mr. Barber,” you interrupt softly “you’ve dedicated your life to your career. I don’t know what the award is for, but I know you deserve it. The work you do always finds a way to show its reflection of yourself in life.”
“That’s funny,” Jacob chuckles “my dad always says that.”
Sarah gently squeezes your hand and gives you a sad but reassuring look.
You’re in for a long night.
**
“You haven’t danced all night!” Sarah whines as another song she loves comes on.
“Go dance with your boyfriend,” you snort as you take another sip of your whiskey neat.
“Are you going to be a sour puss the entire night?”
“Sarah, since I’ve taken my coat off, I have been hit on nonstop. The last thing I want is to go out on the floor and make it worse for myself. I should’ve gotten another dress,” you sigh, contemplating finishing off your drink completely.
“Okay, what happened?” she asks sincerely, taking a seat next to you “you weren’t completely defeated last night and now-”
“Laurie came over last night, while Andy was hiding in my bedroom-nothing happened,” you quickly explain once you see the look on Sarah’s face. “We were about to have dinner when Laurie came by, and Andy ran into my room to hide. Anyway, she came over and said...she said some things,” you scowl before downing the rest of drink, quickly standing up and grabbing another drink for both you and Sarah, as a waiter with full tray walks by.
“What things?” Sarah all but growls as she takes the drink from you.
“She has asked that I stay far away from Mr. Barber. I can continue to be friends with Jacob, and it’s fine that I came here tonight, but after all is said and done I need to stay away. I’m a threat to her marriage, even though I haven’t done anything, and that in order to keep her marriage to keep her marriage afloat, I can’t come around because I’m Andy’s type.”
When Sarah says nothing, you look up and see her trying her best to hold on to her resolve and you scoff.
“Yeah, that’s how I feel too.”
“She’s the one who cheated! She’s the one who said those nasty things about you!” Sarah whispers harshly.
“Which I reminded her of by telling her that I never made her feel as small as shes always made me feel, I never told Jacob and started drama, and I never made a scene.”
“What did Andy do?”
“He wanted to go after her and yell at her, but I stopped him.”
“Why-”
“It only would’ve made it worse. She doesn’t know we’ve been hanging out in secret, and she’d start a shit show. She wouldn’t care about the impact that it would have on Andy or Jacob-”
“Or you.”
“I don’t matter in all of this,” you smile sorrowfully at her.
“Babe, yes you do-”
“Jacob has been through enough and so has Andy. Why the hell should they have to endure more hell over me? Because I’m in love?”
“Because you deserve to be happy!”
“Sometimes we just don’t get what we want, and that’s fine. At some point, I’ll get over it and things will be alright.”
“He shouldn’t be with her!”
“That doesn’t mean he should be with me, Sarah,” you sigh as you fight back your tears. “I can’t force him to leave her, I’m not going to beg him to leave her, and I’m damn sure not about to make anyone’s life harder. I know Andy is pushing for a divorce, and I hope he gets it, but him being with me will never be okay. Age difference aside, she’s going to turn this whole town against him, and hes worked too hard. Hes done too much, and Jacob? You and Jacob?”
“We can all just move!”
“Sarah-”
“Why can’t you both be happy? Why does she have to win? Yeah, Mr. Barber and Jacob deserve to be happy, but so do you! He wants to be happy with you! He loves-”
“Don’t,” you warn as a single tear falls from your eyes. “Just don’t.”
“This isn’t right and you know it.”
“Why can’t you just-”
“Because you’re my best friend too! You have been through so much and you’ve handled it so much better than anyone deserves. If it were me, I would’ve gone off on everyone a million times over. Both you deserve a win! You deserve a win,” she sniffles softly as she wipes her eyes.
“Sarah-”
“Hey, what’s going...babe, what’s wrong?” Jacob asks, instantly seeing the distressed look on Sarah’s face and tears in her eyes.
“Nothing, I just need to go for a walk,” she sobs before getting up and quickly making her way out.
Jacob looks to you and you just shake your head “go after to her and clam her down.”
“What-”
“Just go, Jacob.”
“Fucks sake,” he sighs before following after her.
“What the fuck was that about?” Andy whispers as he takes a seat next to you.
“Just spreading holiday cheer,” you smile sarcastically as you raise your glass and take a sip. “Seems like everyone is a fan of you tonight.”
“Honey, please tell me what’s wrong.”
“Don’t. Don’t do that when you already know what’s wrong.”
“Listen, just because-”
“Andy!” a tall man greets, pulling both of you out of conversation.
You look him over and instantly recognize who he is.
“Neal,” Andy greets with a warm smile.
“Just wanted to congratulate you on tonight, you’ve more than earned it.”
“Thanks, I really appreciate it.”
“I’m sorry, don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t think we’ve met,” Neal smiles at you, and you glare straight through him.
Fuck Neal Loguidice.
“Neal, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Neal Loguidice,” Andy smiles awkwardly, noticing that your glare isn’t going anywhere.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Neal smiles at you as he looks you over, extending his hand, which you just stare at.
It’s Andy’s job to place nice with his coworkers, not yours. Neil fucked over both you guys so, as far as you’re concerned, he can go fuck himself.
“Well,” Neal starts awkwardly as he clears his throat, “I guess I’ll see you around, Andy.
He’s quick to smile with a small nod before almost rushing off.
“Well, I guess that’s that.”
“Fuck Neal,” you mutter before taking a sip of your drink.
“Sweetheart, lets take a trip to my office.”
“Lets not and say we did.”
“We need to talk.”
“This isn’t the time or the place.”
“Please, let’s just go to my office,” Andy pleads desperately.
You can hear the pain in his voice and it only makes all of it so much harder, “let’s go,” you mumble, standing up and grabbing your drink.
The walk to his office is tense, quiet, and fairly quick. You try to keep a good distance from him, but you also long to be near him. By the way he’s holding out his hand, (like he wants you to take it) he feels the same.
“Somehow it’s exactly how I thought it’d be, and at the same time, it’s not,” you comment with a soft smile as you take a seat in front of his desk.
“You’ve thought about my office?” Andy chuckles as he closes his door.
“You’ve called me from here enough, it’s hard not to wonder what the place you love so much looks like.”
“You know the place I love is any place you are,” he sighs heavily, taking a seat at his desk and opening the bottom drawer, “you look miserable.” He takes out a glass and a bottle of bourbon, “I feel like I’ve done nothing but make your life miserable, and that makes me feel like shit, cause you’ve done nothing but make mine better. In so many ways.”
“It’s nothing you’ve done and you know that.”
“Me not being in your life would make it better though, wouldn’t it?”
Your silence just causes him to shake his head as he pours himself a drink.
“Y/N-”
“What do you want me to say? Obviously, there are parts that would be easier if we weren’t as close as we are, but since you’ve been in my life, I’ve been happy. So fucking happy. I look forward to our late night calls and texts, I’m so happy when you randomly stop by and we go on drives, I can listen to you talk about anything forever, I just...you’re married and I’m the town whore,” you scoff.
“Stop that, you didn’t do anything-”
“It doesn’t matter, Andy. You heard Laurie last night! She believes I didn’t do anything, and she still wants me to stay the hell away from you!”
“Yeah well, Laurie’s a bitch,” he mutters before sipping on his bourbon, placing it back down.
“Andy-”
“What? It’s just you and me right now, there’s no need to lie. We don’t lie to each other and we’re not about to start now.”
“Andy-”
“Fuck her! Fuck her and this whole fucking town! You haven’t done anything to deserve this! I’m so sick-”
“Baby, there’s Jacob,” you interrupt softly, reaching your hand across his desk to hold his free hand.
“There’s Jacob,” he sighs heavily, grabbing his drink again with his other hand and taking a long sip from it. “You look so beautiful tonight. Absolutely gorgeous,” he smiles at you, his eyes watering a little.
“Please don’t-”
“I’m going to stay away. Even after all is said and done with Laurie, I’m going to stay away, because I refuse to be another person in your life to let you down. I love you too much for that and you deserve better. You deserve so much better from everyone, and I want to be someone who does that for you.”
“Andy, you know it’s not what I want-”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me. I know it’s not what either of us wants, but you’ll never do anything and I’ll never ask you to. Enough has happened and this is for the best. It’s the right thing to do...you feel it’s the right thing to do, and I’ll abide by that.”
“Andy, I...wait a minute, what do you mean you love me?”
“What do you mean what do I mean? I love you. Of course I love you, how could I not?”
“Wait, you can’t-”
“You don’t get to tell me what I do and don’t feel, sweetheart. You are funny, kind, charismatic, tough, sexy, energetic, witty, smart as hell...I could go on forever,” he chuckles humorlessly as he grabs his glass and takes another sip. “I love you just as much as you love me.”
“You don’t know that I love you-”
“You’re not as slick as you think you are, sweetheart.”
“I don’t want to-”
“I don’t want to love you either, but it’s starting to feel like we didn’t have much of a choice. All I want is for you to tell me the truth. In this room, in this moment, tell me the truth,” he begs softly.
You give his hand another gentle squeeze and a weak smile as tears start to fall from your eyes, “I love you, too.”
“I’ll stay away from you. I’ll stay away and keep you safe.”
“Andy-”
“It’s the least I can do. Like I told you before, you’re the least selfish person I know. It’s time you get something back.”
“I don’t want this, Andy.”
“Neither do I, sweetheart. However, you think this will be best, so I’m abiding by your rules.”
“If you don’t want this, why are you-”
“Because you do, and I love you. When you love someone, you don’t force your ideas and wants on them, you listen to them and do you your best to make them happy.”
“Andy-”
“I love you, Y/N. It’s as simple as that. If this makes your life easier, I’ll do it. Anything that makes you breathe a little easier, I’ll do it.”
For the next 10 minutes, neither of you say anything to each other. You just sit there in silence, sobbing softly while you both drink, holding hands. It’s the closest to heaven you’re going to get, so you just want to live in it as long as possible.
However, you both know you need to get back and that Jacob’s patience is wearing thin, so you’re the first to get up and head back. When you get back to the table, both Jacob and Sarah look irritated.
Great.
“Hey, can I talk to you for a moment?” Jacob asks softly, standing up once you reach the table.
“I’d really rather not.”
“Y/N.”
“Why?”
“Just come on,” he scowls, taking a hold of your wrist and practically dragging you out of the room.
“What the fuck?!” you yell the second you two are outside.
“What is going on with you?”
“Jacob-”
“No, you protect me from everything and everyone all the time, but this is the first time that you’re not letting me do it for you. Sarah won’t tell me a damn thing, you’ve been distant and moody, getting you to hangout is like pulling teeth, and I’m fucking worried about you!” he shouts, almost out of breath.
The sight of him has your eyes welling up all over again. His eyes show nothing but pure and genuine concern, his shoulders are tense, and he looks like he’s at his wits end.
This is why you can never be with Andy.
“I’m fine, Jake,” you sob.
“Hey, it’s me. You can always talk to me. What happened? Did someone hurt you? Is it your boss? Did I do something? Y/N, please just talk to me.”
“I’m just never...I’m just unhappy with my life right now. I’m so fucking unhappy and I feel like that’s just how it’s always going to be,” you cry, finally letting go.
“Hey no, that’s not true at all! Stop it,” Jacob coos softly as he wraps you in a tight hug. “This isn’t like you at all, Y/N. What happened?”
All you can do is continue to sob, so Jacob walks you both over to a nearby bench and sits you both down. You continue to cry into Jacob’s shoulder, and he gently strokes your back. You can’t help but feel like a complete idiot.
Why did you set yourself up? You’ve always known that Andy is off limits, so why did you ever start making yourself available to him? Why did you ever let yourself get excited at the thought of spending time with him? Him opening up made you feel so fucking special and for what? Him memorizing all of the things you love and make you happy; it shouldn’t have mattered at all.
But it did.
Andy Barber was the first man you’d ever met that made you feel like you were more than just an object; more than just a thing to fulfill men’s fantasies. He took the time to know you, he took the time to learn all of the things you love and make you smile. He was always there for you (no matter how big or large the problem was), he was always able to make you laugh, he was always able to pull you back when you’d go too far off the deep end. He always listened to you without judgment...from the day you two met, Andy had been everything you dreamed of and more.
Even Jacob, with all of his well-intentions, he still looked at you with bedroom eyes from time to time. Hell, he still does every once in a while. Maybe it’s because Andy’s older and more experienced, but he has never made you feel like you’re good for only one thing. From day one, Andy has always made you feel like a person instead of an object. He made you feel like everything about you mattered, not just the parts that could get men off.
“Tell me what’s going on, Y/N,” Jacob coos as your tears finally start to slow.
“My fucking parents,” you lie, trying to calm down and figure out the most believable thing to tell him. “The fucking holidays...they know Christmas is my favorite fucking holiday and they’re bickering about who I should spend it with. When in reality, I don’t want to spend it with either of them.”
“Just spend it my family. My mom loves you, you and my dad are best friends whenever you two are around one another, you and Sarah are best friends-”
“No, it’s not...it’s not just that. I fucking hate this stupid town. I just...I’m just worn out, Jake. I’m exhausted and just need a fucking break. I wish I could just start over and be someone else.”
“The world would be a much shittier place if you weren’t you. Why didn’t you just come and talk to me?”
“You have so much going on already-”
“Listen, you are the best friend I could ever have. You make all of the time in the world for me, of course I’d do the same for you. I just realized that I’m an asshole who dragged you out here without a coat. Lets get back inside,” he smiles and chuckle, wiping your eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Just know that there isn’t anything you can’t tell me. I’m always here for you, no matter what,” he promises sincerely.
Well, if you didn’t feel like shit before, you sure as fuck do now.
You two head back inside and when you get back to the table, it’s obvious to you that Sarah and Andy had a talk. Andy looks defeated and Sarah looks even more heartbroken than she did before.
“What’s wrong with you two?” Jacob laughs as he takes a seat.
“I think I’m going burn these shoes,” Sarah laughs.
“I told you you’d end up hating them!”
“But they were so cute!” she laughs as he dips down to kiss her. “Next time just carry me out of the store.”
“Sounds like a plan,” he smirks “dad, what’s up with you?”
“Just wish tonight could’ve gone differently.”
“Don’t let mom being mom ruin this for you. It was a great night and I’m sure she’ll regret it. Just focus on everyone here who actually supports you.”
“You’re right,” Andy smiles weakly. “Lets say we get out of here, huh?”
“Yeah, I don’t think my feet can tolerate much more of this,” Sarah laughs as she stands up.
“Dad, it really was a great night,” he tells him reassuringly before taking his suit jacket off the back of his chair.
If only Jacob knew how shitty the night really went.
**
The days leading up to Christmas are the loneliest days you’ve ever experienced. Some days, you’re able to talk yourself out of a breakdown, and other days they’re unavoidable. Since you can’t talk to or see Andy, you settle for the next best thing: watching old video and reading through old text messages. It’s the only thing you can think of to dull the pain without actually seeing him. Every day you hope he’ll cave, but you know he won’t because that’s not who he is.
That’s not the man you fell in love with.
It doesn’t help that Jacob keeps begging you to come over for Christmas. You know he means well, and that it’s part your fault because you lied to him at the party, but the thought of seeing him with her fills you with so much anger. It’s all bullshit, because he isn’t happy at all. Having to sit there and watching them fake it for hours will only drive you insane. Plus, you know she’ll make a show of it because you’ll be there, and that’ll only anger Andy and make him uncomfortable, and you could never do that to him.
Sarah’s been giving you small updates from time to time, and she says he’s barely home. When he is, he’s a recluse, the arguments have gotten louder, and he’s easily irritated. Part of you wishes she wouldn’t tell you anything, because all it does is make things harder, but at the same time you’re happy to get them. You want updates on him because you need to know how he is. The fact that he’s so unhappy and frustrated makes you even more upset. You just want to hold him and make everything better, but you can’t. You want to take a late night drive with him and tell him it’ll get better, but you can’t. You want to take care of him the way hes always taken care of you, but you can’t.
You just want your Andy to be okay.
Eventually you got Jacob off your back about Christmas by lying and saying you decided to spend it with your mother, because you’re worried about her, which is why you’re now laid out on your sofa (in just the extra large AC/DC crew neck he got you on a whim), watching ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ while eating a pint of strawberry cheesecake ice cream. You can’t have your ideal Christmas, so you may as well settle for second best.
You roll your eyes when you hear your cell phone going off and choose to ignoring (hoping that Jacob, your mother, or father) would take the hint and go away. However, when it goes off for a second time, you scowl before answering it.
“Hello?” you answer harshly, hoping whoever is on the other line will take the hint and go away.
“Well, Merry Christmas to you too,” a familiar deep voice responds with a soft chuckles.
“Andy?”
“Hey sweetheart.”
“What...you can’t-”
“I told everyone I needed to go for a drive, it’s fine.”
“We’re not supposed to-”
“Come to the window,” he demands softly.
Almost instantly, you’re on your feet and looking out of the full window in your small living area, “you get to see me but I don’t get to see you? That’s not fair.”
“Let me rectify that,” he laughs before letting his window down and smiling up at you, “better?”
“Much,” you smile with a small wave “why aren’t you home?”
“I am now.”
“Andy.”
“It’s Christmas. I wanted to get as close to being with the one I love as I could.”
“Andy-”
“You have amazing legs, sweetheart. Is that the AC/DC crew neck I got you?”
“It is,” you laugh softly with a small sniffle.
“Are those tattoos I see on your thighs?”
“Yes they are,” you laugh, remembering how much your mom hated them and cried when she first saw them.
“How did I not notice them at the party?”
“The dress covered them.”
“Well, I was robbed.”
“Andy,” you laugh “what are you doing here?”
“I miss you.”
“I miss you too, baby.”
“I also dropped off your Christmas present.”
“What?! Andy-”
“Relax,” he laughs softly “it’s not some big to-do. I know you’d hate that.”
“I didn’t get you anything! I wasn’t-”
“Seeing you right now is a gift, even if it’s not exactly the way I want it to go. I’m happy, honey. This is more than enough.”
“Andy...” you trail off, fighting back tears.
“Go to the door and get your present. God, you don’t know how hard it was for me to not knock on that fucking door.”
“How long have you been out there?” you ask as you make your way over to your door, quickly opening and closing the door after you pick up the neatly wrapped gift.
“Longer than I should,” he laughs.
“You didn’t have to do anything for me,” you smile softly as you sit on the window sill.
“Open it!”
“I am! So damn pushy,” you laugh as you pull the wrapping paper off. “Oh...Andy...this is so fucking thoughtful.”
“I did good?”
“I’m putting it in bedroom and the other on my key chain holding my car keys and the key to my apartment,” you sob as you look over the thoughtful gifts.
One of was a medium sized framed picture of the selfie you two took while sitting on the hood of Andy’s car, while the sun rose and you two eat ice cream. The other, was a quote from ‘To Have and To Have Not’ that said “If you want anything, just whistle.”
“I should have gotten you something,” you sniffle as you dry your eyes.
“This is more than enough.”
“I love you, Andy. God, I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you too, honey.”
“You should be here.”
“I know I should be,” he sighs heavily “how’s ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ going?”
“Same as it always goes,” you laugh softly.
“I’m gonna go.”
“Please...just a couple more minutes?”
“You don’t know how hard it was for me to not knock on your door and beg you to let me in.”
“Who says you would have had to beg me for anything?”
“Honey.”
“I just...I keep thinking what this day would’ve been like if I spent it with you. Really spent it with you.”
“Yeah? What do you have in mind?”
“We would’ve had breakfast together, watched sappy Christmas movies, exchanged gifts, watched more movies together...”
“And then what?”
“Hands where I can see ‘em, Barber,” you smirk and he chuckles “we would have taken turns showing each other how we appreciate each other.”
“Tell me not to come up there right there right now and show you how much I love you.”
“Don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because it can’t happen, baby.”
“I just want to be with you, honey.”
“I feel the same,” you smile weakly.
“I’m gonna go. Merry Christmas, I love you.”
“I love you, Andy. Merry Christmas.”
As you watch him drive off after he hangs up, you clutch the key chain tighter and wish that you’re selfish enough to tell him to stay. All you want is to fall asleep and wake up him by your side, holding you close and kissing you deeply. It’s not fucking fair that the one person who finally makes you feel alive is the one person you can’t be with.
So, from that day on you’re even more frustrated and irritated. Why can’t she just give him the damn divorce? He clearly doesn’t want to be with her, so what the hell she still trying to hold on to. She knows that Andy will give her whatever she wants, so why she can’t she just let it go? As for Jacob...if he really hates the idea of you then obviously you’d back off, but what it really be so bad to try?
Ugh, you don’t know why you keep thinking about it, because it can’t happen. Even with Laurie gone and Jacob magically accepting it, there’s still the fact that you have a reputation that will never change. You could never do that to him. He’s been through enough, and the last thing you want is to add another obstacle and frustration to his life.
You can’t be with him, so you just need to let it go. You need to let all ideas of Andy Barber go.
“Darling,” your father calls, pulling you out of your thoughts “you didn’t answer my question.”
“I didn’t hear it,” you mumble before taking a sip of your coffee.
“Are you going to be mad at me forever?”
“Can we not do this today? It’s a nice Spring day and I’m just not in the mood.”
“You’re acting like I’m some sort of-”
“First of all, I’m not acting like anything. You’re an asshole and you know what you did was fucked up. I know how you lost all the money in the first place. You gambled it all away, not giving a damn that you had a wife and child at home. You did what you wanted, then picked fights with mom over it. THEN, you somehow managed to beat the odds and win the fucking lottery, and you’re still a dick. You start seeing her,” you snap looking over at his young bride “and start picking the most idiotic fights with mom. Then, to top it all off, you fucking leave like a coward. In the middle of the night so you don’t have to deal with any of the aftermath. As if that wasn’t bad enough, you had my best friend’s dad serve mom the papers! So let’s not sit here and pretend you’re not a complete dick, because you are. Second, you brought her here and didn’t bother to fucking tell me about it, because you knew I wouldn’t fucking show if she came. You’re trying to force me to be okay with her, when you know I’ll never be okay.”
“Y/N-”
“You left!” you snapped, slamming your down on the table. “You left and you left me all alone to clean up the mess that you made! I don’t wanna hear it!”
“Y/N-” his new wife starts.
“If you wanna leave this place without a broken fuckin’ nose, I suggest you shut up,” you warn, glaring at her. “As for you, don’t sit here and act like it’s damn surprise that the sight of you makes me sick!”
“What about you?! It’s not like you’re some saint! Everyone knows that Laurie Barber doesn’t want you around her husband!”
“That’s because she’s a cunt! I haven’t laid a hand on Mr. Barber and I haven’t seen him in months! Don’t try to paint us as one and the same, because we are so much less alike than you’d ever think!”
“Y/N, stop. I had no right and I’m sorry-”
“Jesus, are we done here? Have we put one another through enough?”
“Y/N-”
“Are we done?!”
“Yes,” he sighs sorrowfully, hanging his head in defeat.
“Fucking amazing,” you mutter before throwing your towel down and getting up “feel free to never call me again.”
As you walk out, you can’t help but feel bad. Yes, your father has had it coming for years, but your outburst wasn’t because he’s a piece of shit, it was because you miss Andy. You haven’t seen him since Christmas and it’s driving you insane. Is that all you two have now? Stolen moments on holidays? Stolen moments where you two can’t even touch or hold one another? Why can’t you just let it go? Why can’t you let Andy go?
You’ve studied the photo he gave you for Christmas a million times, hell you even hold while you sleep sometimes. Why? Because it’s all you have. Sometimes, you tell yourself that you’ll just move and start over, but just makes everything hurt more.Yeah, you’re away from him now, but being another state away? Another country? It’s just too much.
You try to get your mood together as you get ready to go over Jacob’s house, but you know he won’t be there and she will be. How you haven’t got into an all out fist fight with Laurie Barber yet is beyond you, but with the way your day is going, you won’t count anything. As you try to put together a decent enough outfit, your phone goes off and you pray it’s someone who won’t want to make you throw yourself out of a window.
“Hello?”
“So, I hear you went to lunch with your father and I’m the big bad witch.”
Prayer denied. “Hi mom.”
“I don’t know why you even bothered to go at all, why you try to have a relationship with him.”
“The same reason we keep up this charade, mom: he won’t leave me alone.”
“Don’t be a bitch.”
“You started it.”
“Why don’t you settle down? Everyone knows you love older men, and older men love to settle down. Laurie Barber is so desperate to keep you away from her husband, why don’t you go after him?”
“It’s 5:30 in the evening, mom. You’re this drunk already?”
“Well, I was bored,” she sighs with a humorless laugh.
“Unfortunately, I don’t have time to entertain you. Talk to you later,” you mutter before hanging up and almost throwing your phone down.
It’s not like you were in a good mood to begin with, but after having to deal with, but there’s no way in fuck you can be in the Barber household right now, especially with Laurie being there. You let out a heavy sigh knowing that the call you’re about to make isn’t going to go well.
“Hey!” Jacob answers enthusiastically and it only makes you feel worse. “Are you on your way?”
“I uh...I’m not coming. You guys have fun without me.”
“Y/N-”
“I don’t need it today, Jake. I had the lunch from hell with my father and then my mother called me, drunk, and decided to tell me that she thinks everyone in town still thinks that I’m a whore.”
“What the...are you serious?!”
“Don’t Jake, just don’t.”
“She can’t talk to you like that!”
“She’s my mother, apparently she can do whatever she wants.”
“I’m gonna-”
“You’re not going to do anything, Jake. Just leave it alone. I’ll handle all of it at some point, I just need to decompress.”
“So you’re gonna find someone to sleep with?”
“Well, I haven’t been fucked in months and I’m having the day from hell, so why not?”
“It seems like you’re always having the day from hell.”
“Jesus, not you too! Can I just catch a fucking break?! We can argue tomorrow?!”
“I miss my best fucking friend! I feel like I haven’t seen you in-”
“Jacob, when you’re in this house, watch your mouth!” you hear Laurie yell and you feel your blood start to boil.
“Jake, I’m sorry I let you down and I love you to death, but I can’t fucking do this right now. I need time away.”
“Fine, whatever. Talk to tomorrow,” he grumbles before hanging up
You can’t catch a fucking break.
You throw your phone down before heading into your bedroom and searching your closet. Maybe getting fucked will help you. No, it obviously won’t be getting fucked by the man you want, but something has to be better than nothing at this point...right?
You pull out one of your sexier dresses, making sure to tie it low, so there’s a good view of your cleavage,you wear your favorite skinny open-toed black heels, and apply your makeup perfectly. It’s not lost on you how good you look, and you’re hoping to be back at your place soon enough, but all of it feels wrong. If you’re not going home with the one you want, why are you going out at all?
The only thing you can come up with is that you need some sort of release before you snap on someone.
By the time your car service pulls up to the bar, you’re regretting going out at all, but you have to try. You can’t make your whole life about Andy, and you have to try and move on. Moving on doesn’t mean finding Mr. Right, it just means not letting yourself get wrapped up in one person that you can never be with. You’re determined to leave with someone.
However, by hour two of your excursion, you’re ready to throw in the towel.
It’s not like you haven’t been hit on by attractive men, but they’re all the wrong men. The more you try and force yourself to be engaged and attracted, the less you feel encouraged to go through your plan. As you sit at the bar, wondering why you can’t just give him up. ‘How Do I Make You Love Me?’ by the Weeknd starts playing.
“Well, this is a welcomed surprise,” a deep familiar voice says as he takes a seat next to you.
“Of all the gin joints in the world,” you smirk before finishing your drink “how may I help you, Mr. Barber? This really isn’t the type of place I ever expected to find you in.”
“Wasn’t my idea,” he smirks as he nods towards the other end of the bar, a few of his friends nodding at the both of you.
“Why aren’t you at...cause I’m supposed to be at your house right now,” you chuckle humorlessly as the bartender brings you another whiskey neat.
“How many of those have you had?”
“Not enough,” you grin “I’m sure Laurie called you to tell you it’s safe to come home.”
“I don’t want to be in that house.”
“And why is that, Mr. Barber?” you slur slightly as you turn to look at him.
“It’s not a home unless you’re there and you know that,” he confesses softly. “Why are you here?”
“I’m trying to get over you.”
“Don’t do that,” he begs quicker than he means to.
‘How do I make you love me? (How do I make you fall for me?)’
“Why not?”
“Because you’re mine and I’m yours. Don’t throw us away so quickly.”
‘How do I make you want me? (And make it last eternally?)’
“Don’t.”
“You’re right, lets get you home.”
“That defeats the purpose.”
“Don’t make me watch you go home with someone else, please.”
“You can leave now.”
“I don’t wanna leave without you.”
‘I only want what’s right in front of me.
It’s quite unusual, seeking approval,
Begging for it desperately’
“We can’t keep doing this to each other,” you tell him softly as you look away from him.
“Let me take you home,” he begs softly.
“What if I said I don’t want you to take me home?”
“I’d call you a big fucking liar,” he smirks before looking at the bartender “she’s done here and would like to settle her tab,” he smiles as he pulls out his wallet.
“Andy-”
“If I hadn’t see you, I would be able to pretend,” he confesses softly as he hands the bartender his card, “but I wouldn’t leave until I saw you leave, and it would fucking kill me.”
“Andy-”
“I love you, Y/N. God, I love you so fucking much, and it drives me insane, because I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t want to fall asleep next to you every night, I shouldn’t want to hear your voice every second of every day, I shouldn’t want to hear what my name sounds like when it leaves your lips as I fuck you senseless, I shouldn’t want to shower you with gifts, I shouldn’t want to kiss you all the time, I shouldn’t fucking love you, Y/N. Even if there wasn’t Laurie, even if you weren’t Jacob’s best friend, you’ve been through enough hell and you deserve to be young and finally fucking have fun. You should be hooking up, dating around, and just having fun. We shouldn’t be what we fucking are to each other, but I just...Jesus, I love you. I’ve tried to stop and do the right thing, but I just...you live in my head and my heart. I can’t get you out, and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, because I don’t want to be another person in your life asking too much of you,” he finishes, letting out a defeated sigh as the bartender hands him his card. “If I hadn’t been here tonight, I could pretend that you’re at home watching ‘Casablanca’ for the millionth time, but I’m here and I see how you look. Someone else being buried deep inside you, feeling your warmth, getting to know you intimately...I just can’t handle that. Finish your drink and I’ll let the guys know I’m taking you home,” he says softly before walking.
You instantly down your drink, because what else can you do? The man just poured his heart out, telling you that he feels the exact same way you do, so what else are you supposed to do? You’re in public so you can’t cry, you can’t hug him, and you sure as shit can’t kiss him. All you can do is drink your fucking drink and ignore what you’re feeling.
As he makes his way back over to you, he cocks an eyebrow and you just nod. The walk to his car is quite and so is the car ride to your place. You want to say something, but you don’t know what to say. The only thing you can think of is how much you love him, how much you want him, and the fucking lyrics to that song.
‘How do I make you love me? (How do I make you fall for me?)
How do I make you want me? (And make it last eternally?)’
All you want is Andy and you want everything with him forever. It also doesn’t help that his confession about wanting to fuck you senseless won’t stop playing in your brain on surround sound. You know that part of the reason for it is because you’re touch starved, but it’s not like that matters much anyway.
The only touch you’re starving for is Andy’s.
By the time he pulls into the parking garage of your complex, your brain is at war with itself and going a million miles a minute.
“You didn’t have park down here.”
“You’re drunk, I’m not letting you go up there on your own.”
“I can take the elevator, Andy.”
“Good, so I can drop you off and come right back down.”
“Andy-”
“Honey, it’s been a long fucking day. Just let me do this, please?”
“Fine,” you huff, getting out of the car and slamming the door shut.
“Why are you mad at me?”
“Like you said, it’s been a long a fucking day-”
“No, talk to me!” he snaps grabbing your wrist.
“Jesus Andy!” you yell, but as you turn to meet his gaze, you see that his eyes hold nothing but love and pure genuine concern.
Why are you two so fucking gone for one another?
“Andy...just let me go.”
“Talk to me.”
“This can’t ever...you deserve better! You talk about how much I’ve been through, what about you?!”
“What about me?”
“Your dad, losing your mom right before college, everything with Jacob, all of the shit Lauries’ put you through...you think I want you to have to deal with the scrutiny that comes with dating the town whore?”
“You’re not-”
“It doesn’t matter, Andy. They’re all committed to seeing me in that light-”
“But I’m not,”he says firmly, but his tone is still soft as softly grips your shoulders.
“Andy, I love you. It honestly hurts, because you were never...this was never supposed to happen. You’re a dream that’s never supposed to come true.”
“Sweetheart, you’ve always been my dream,” he tells you softly as he rests his forehead against yours.
You want to live in this moment forever.
“You have to get me upstairs,” you sigh, looking down at your fingers interlocked with his.
“We should get started then, shouldn’t we?” he questions so softly you barely hear it.
You two continue to hold hands as you walk to the elevator, and you don’t let go for the ride up to your floor. The only time Andy lets go of your hand is when you’re fishing out your keys, and even then he’s reluctant to let go.
“You’ll let me know when you’re home safe?” you question as you both step inside your apartment, but you can barely focus on hearing his answer.
“I always do. I’m sorry I-”
Before the last bit of the sober part of your brain can protest, you’re pulling Andy close and kissing him as if you’re life depends on it. It’s not desperate or messy, but it does a good job of showing just how much you need him. How much you’ve always needed him.
You expect him to stop and pull away, but his response is the exact opposite. He pins you against the wall and deepens it, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you as close to him as he can. His tongue traces the outline of your bottom lip as his hands start to explore your body, and you gladly give him access as you run your hands through his hair, gripping it just enough to get a grunt of approval.
It feels like you’re finally alive; every bit of your body tingles with excitement, and every part of you that he touches feels as if it’s on fire. You’ve never felt something so all consuming and powerful, and you never want it to end. Andy’s awoken something deep inside of you, and now you don’t know if you can survive without him.
You barely were before.
He starts to trail skillful kisses down your neck as he fumbles with the front of your shirt, trying to untie it, and it feels like heaven. “Andy,” you moan as your eyes flutter shut and you lull your head back.
He freezes almost instantly.
“Fuck!” he breathes heavily into the crook of your neck. “I gotta go. Shit!”
“What? No! Why-”
“Don’t, sweetheart,” he sighs as he stands up straight, “fuck, I’m so sorry-”
“Andy what did I do? What’s wrong?”
“You are perfect, you could never...it’s me. I know better and still...you’re drunk!”
“What does that have to do with anything? I love you whether I’m drunk or sober. I want you whether I’m drunk or sober.”
“It would be one thing if we were both drunk or sober, but I can’t do this and not feel like I’m taking advantage of you!”
“I kissed you!”
“Because you’re drunk!”
“Okay, so I acted on liquid courage, so what? It doesn’t change-”
“Honey, please.”
The look on his face lets you know that he’s at war with himself and it breaks your heart. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I can’t keep...you aren’t mine.”
“Yes I am, Andy,” you tell him softly holding his torn gaze. “I’m all yours and yours alone. No one’s touched me since that day you showed up at my apartment for drinks, and I’ve been in love with you since that night we went out for ice cream and watched the sunrise. I am all yours and I only ever want to be yours. Drunk or sober, you’re all I’ll ever want.”
“God, this isn’t fucking fair,” he grumbles, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m so fucking in love with you...I wish I could show you...I’m gonna go, sweetheart.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I don’t want to, but it’s for the best. I’ll text you when I’m there.”
“I love you.”
“I love you,” he sighs heavily, kissing your forehead before leaving.
In no time at all, you’re undressing yourself and getting yourself off in bed; Andy’s name leaving your lips every time you reach your climax. No, it’s not ideal and definitely how you wanted to end your night, but it’s enough.
For now.
**
Andy’s P.OV.
“Jesus Laurie, just drop it! It was three weeks ago and I told you about it!” I yell as we have the same argument, for what feels like the millionth time.
“What were you even doing in a club, Andy?!”
“You didn’t want me here, remember? You wanted me to out of the house, because Y/N was supposed to be here.”
“Well, she very clearly wasn’t, Andy! I text you that it was okay to come home-”
“I’m not a fucking dog, Laurie! You can’t just command me around-”
“I’m not trying to command you-”
“Yes you are! For fucks sake, just sign the divorce papers! There’s nothing to save! Let it go!”
“Stop saying that! What? Are you in love with someone else? Are you-”
“Yes Laurie, I am in love with someone else, and you refusing to do the one thing I ask you to do is making it all that much harder to move on!”
“Why am I the only one fighting to make this marriage work?!”
“Because you’re the one that cheated!” I shout as I make my way into the living room. “You never loved me, because you never knew the real me, and that’s fine. It’s my fault, but now...what’s the reason to keep this up? Jacob’s about to move out, you clearly have other interests-”
“That was once!”
“It was twice, and one of them was an actual fucking relationship! Laurie, I can’t keep-”
“I love you! I know I’ve fucked up and I’m sorry, but we can salvage this!”
“There’s nothing to-”
“Yes there is!” Laurie yells, throwing her glass down.
How the fuck did we end up like this?
“Look at us, Laurie. There’s nothing healthy or right about us anymore. We just don’t work anymore. This doesn’t work and there’s no reason for us to try and force it. Just let it go. Let me go. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“You just need time, Andy. We both do.”
“Laurie, I’m in love with someone else and I’ll be in love with her until my dying breath. I did everything in my power to fix this and now I’m tired. I’m tired and I’m done.”
“You just need time.”
“No, I need a fucking divorce. I’m done, Laurie.”
“I’ll spend the night at my parent’s place and give you time to think about it. We’ll talk about it more when I’m back in the morning.”
“Laurie, you can be gone for a week. You can leave for a month for all I care. I’ll still want a divorce!”
“Just think on it!” she snaps before heading upstairs.
I let out a frustrated grunt before heading into the kitchen and pouring myself a glass of bourbon. 12pm on a fucking Saturday and I’m already pouring myself a drink.
Great.
I don’t know how many times I can have the same fucking argument before I truly snap. I’ve done all I can to be graceful about this, and maybe that’s the fucking problem. I keep trying to spare Laurie’s feelings and am unable to show you that I’m all in.
It’s not like it’s lost on me that our relationship is going to be hard, but I don’t care. I don’t care about the stares, I don’t care about the whispers, and I don’t care about the backlash. Jacob? He’ll be pissed, but he’ll get over it. If he can’t...then it’ll just something else that we have to work through.
I love you. I just want to be with you.
“Alright, I’ll call tomorrow when I’m on my way back and we can-”
“Laurie, I’m moving out. I’ve found a condo and I’m gonna start packing up my stuff next week.”
“You just need time, Andy,” she mutters as her eyes start to water.
“Laurie, please just sign the damn papers. We tried and it just didn’t work-”
“We’ll talk when I get back tomorrow. We both just need to cool off,” she sniffs before turning and walking out.
Why can’t any of this be easy? I just want you. I just need you. For the sake of Jacob and you, I’d really rather not get into an all out war with Laurie over this, but I’m done. I can’t keep telling you I love you and not actually showing you. Not actually prove it. I’ve gotta figure out a way to get out of this and get you back in these arms where you belong.
I need to figure out how to make you mine.
Y/N’s P.O.V
As you pull up to the Barber household, you only see Andy’s car in the driveway.
Great.
You quickly pull out your phone and dial Jacob’s number, praying that he answers.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We should be leaving soon,” Jacob sighs as soon as he answers.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I just didn’t think we’d be at her parents so long, and now I feel like an asshole because I bullied you into hanging out.”
“Don’t feel like an asshole,” you scoff, rubbing the back of your neck, “I’ll just head home and you can-”
“No no, just stay there. You know where the spare key is and I’m sure my parents won’t care. Just hangout in my room and we’ll meet you up there.”
“Jake-”
“No, because if you go home, you’re just gonna wanna hangout there for the night. We all swore that we were gonna go out tonight. Between work and school, we all need this.”
“I promise that I won’t make us all stay in the house.”
“You’re so full of shit,” he chuckles as you start laughing, “we really should be leaving soon. Just make yourself comfortable and we’ll see you in a bit.”
“Sounds good,” you smile before hanging up.
You know that it’s in your best interest to go home, especially since Andy’s home, but you don’t want to let Jacob down. You’ve been a moody bitch for months and it only got worse after everything that happened with Andy.
Andy.
You haven’t seen or spoken to him since you two briefly made out in your apartment. Hes tried calling and texting, but you’ve been too embarrassed and ashamed to answer. How could you be so careless? So empty headed? He’s married and you’re best friend’s dad. What made you think it okay?
The fact that you love him.
Drunk or sober, it was bound to happen. Trying to hide from your feelings could only get you so far for so long. You and Andy had been playing a dangerous games with fire for a while, and it only made sense for it all to come to a head when you’d been drinking.
However, facing him after everything...it feels impossible.
But you’re not about to let Jacob.
You take a deep breath before getting out of your car and looking the house over. You’ve been in this house a million times, but this feels so much heavier. It feels heavier and it feels wrong.
How are you supposed to go into the family house when you know you’re part of the reason it’s about to be broken up? No, you’re not the main reason, but it’s become very obvious didn’t start pushing hard for the divorce until you two started spending all your free time together. It also doesn’t help that you told him just how in love with him you are.
You let out an exasperated sigh and rest your head on the steering wheel. You owe Jacob, plus he said he’d be home soon. As long as you hide out in Jacob’s room and avoid Andy, you should be fine.
The second you get out the car, you race up the steps (not wanting to be seen my the neighbors for fear of them telling Laurie), grab the spare key from the inside of the porcelain frog that sits on the top step, and and practically run inside. You expect to be met with some sort of noise, but it’s eerily quiet.
“Hello?” you call out.
No response.
“Andy?”
Non response.
‘I guess he’s out with Laurie,’ you think to yourself with a shrug.
You check your phone and see that it’s 5:40. The plan was to head to the restaurant at 6, so you just have to hold out for a little bit. You quickly make your way upstairs, and stop right outside of the Barbers bedroom. Well, Laurie’s bedroom since Andy never sleeps in it anymore. For just a moment, you contemplate going in and grabbing one of Andy’s sweaters. It’s not like anyone’s home. You can quickly spray it with his cologne, throw it in the trunk of your car, and none on one would have a clue.
But you can’t.
Besides the fact that it’s stealing (and borderline crazy), it’s not going to help anything at all. In fact, sleeping in something of his that smells exactly like him, will only make it worse. You’ve got to stop. You complete your journey to Jacob’s room and lay down on his bed, hoping and praying that Jacob get home before Laurie and Andy do.
As much you try to fight it, you find yourself falling asleep, finally realizing just how tired you are. It makes sense, because you did spend last night crying over Andy.
Just like every other night.
You’re not worried because you know that Jacob will have no problem with waking you up loudly and rudely. You fall asleep hoping that, for once, your dream won’t be about Andy.
However, you know in your heart that it will be. Everything is always about him.
**
You’re awoken by a loud thunder clap, and you almost fall out of the damn bed. It’s pitch black and you can heavy raindrops against the window and the roof, and you try to figure out what fucking day it is.
You check your phone and see that it’s 10:30, you have three missed calls from Jacob, one unread text from him, and a flash flood warning.
Lovely.
The Dark Lord: I’m assuming you’re asleep. I’m so fucking sorry, when we were finally ready to leave, this stupid storm started. Sarah’s parents begged us to stay until it was over, but it only got worse. Now we’re 6 wine glasses in and in no shape to drive. Not to mention, this rain isn’t letting up any time soon. PLEASE stay at my house, I don’t want you driving in this shit, and I promise to make it up to you. I’m so fucking sorry.
You roll your eyes as you look at outside and see that Andy’s car is still the only car that’s at the house. Maybe everyone decided to stay where they were at.
Y/N: I’m finishing off the bottle of whiskey that’s in your room.
The Dark Lord: That’s more than fine. We’ll all out to breakfast or lunch tomorrow. Again, I’m so sorry. I love you.
Y/N: It’s fine, I’d rather you be safe more than anything else. I love you and tell Sarah I love her too. I’ll see you both tomorrow.
You toss your phone down onto the bed before grabbing the bottle he keeps tucked away in his bottom drawer. Deciding that you’re not in the mood to wear pants, you change into one of his hoodies while turning on his TV. All you’ve eaten today is a granola bar; you’re hoping that you’ll get drunk and knock out quickly. Even though you drink the bottle quickly, it’s not working: you’re at the end of the bottle and you’re only buzzed. You groan in annoyance and decide there’s no shame in raiding the Barbers’ alcohol cabinet since no one’s home.
You make your quick trek down the steps and you’re so focused on your task at hand that you don’t notice anything else around you. You just want to get back in bed and go to sleep.
“Watch your step, there’s glass,” Andy slurs, causing you to scream and jump at the same time.
“What the fuck, Andy?!”
“How did you not know I was here? My car’s parked outside.”
“I called for you when I first got here! I called for anyone!”
“Oh, I was knocked out. I was drunk by 3:30, slept it off. Woke up again at 7 and decided I was still thirsty.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing, I’m fine.”
“You’re drunk, not fucking stupid. Don’t lie to me.”
“What were you going to get?” he smirks, finally looking over at you.
“A glass and a bottle of something to drink so I can go back to sleep.”
“Grab a glass and have a drink with me.”
“Let me go put pants on.”
“It’s not like I haven’t seen your legs before.”
“This is different.”
“How so?”
“We’re alone.”
“Which makes it even better.”
“Andy-”
“Go grab your glass, honey,” he urges reassuringly, with a wave of his hand and a car dealer smile.
You ignore all of the voices in your head telling you not to do it; instead you watch your step and grab a glass from the kitchen. You take a deep breath and look at the pictures on the fridge: Jacob, his parents, Jacob and Andy.
‘Don’t do anything stupid,’ you tell yourself mentally before making your way back into the living room.
“Since when do you like the Turner Classic Movies channel?” you ask as you take a seat on the sofa.
“Well, ‘Maltese Falcon’ was on earlier and I wanted to impress you, then ‘Fall of the House of Usher’ came on and I just never turned the channel,” he shrugs and you laugh. “Sorry you got stuck here.”
“It’s fine. Better than being stuck in my apartment.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Needed to get out. I wasn’t doing good in there all alone.”
“You should’ve answered my texts or returned my calls.”
“And deal with having to face you? No thanks, I’m good,” you chuckle humorlessly as you pour yourself a drink, down it in one shot, and pour yourself another.
“Is loving me really so terrible?”
“It is when we can’t be together.”
“Why can’t we?” he asks, turning his full attention to you. “You got bangs.”
“Sarah said I should.”
“Good choice on her part, you look amazing. You always look amazing.”
“What happened, baby?”
“I lied to you,” Andy starts as he pours himself another drink, “I said Laurie only cheated once, which was complete and utter bullshit. The first time she cheated, it was a full on affair. They had hotel dates, he took her out to dinner and bought her flowers, fucked her a lot, but I forgave it because I wanted to try and make it work. She’s my wife, the mother of my son, and we’ve been together forever, so of course I wanted to make it work. Then, the night that I was at your place and we were watching ‘Vivacious Lady’, when I didn’t answer. She went out and cheated again.”
“What the fuck?! Andy, I’m so fucking sorry!”
“So, I’ve been pushing even harder for the divorce and she still refuses. She thinks I just need more time, which I very much don’t. I’m not in love with her, and the more that I think about it, I don’t think I ever was. Sure, I had feelings for her, but never like the feelings I have for you. Not even close. So, we got into an argument, she threw the glass down in frustration, she asked me if I’m in love with someone else and I told her yes, and she said that I just need time and we’ll talk about it when she gets back in the morning from her parent’s house.”
“Andy...I’m so-”
“Why are you sorry? What did you do? You didn’t tell her to cheat, you didn’t tell her to lie to me about it, and you sure as shit didn’t push her into someone else’s arms. She did that. If anything, I’m sorry. I keep telling you that I love you and then I don’t prove it. I don’t show it.”
“It doesn’t matter because we can’t-”
“Why can’t we be together, sweetheart? I’m leaving Laurie, one way or another, and Jacob will get over it. I love you and you love me, so why can’t we be together?”
“The town-”
“Fuck all of them. Who gives a fuck what they think? Who gives a fuck if they turn up their noses? You wanna move out of state? Let’s go. You want me to fight any asshole who gives you a hard time? I’ll fucking do it. I love you. I want to be with you. That’s not changing.”
“Andy-”
“Come here, sweetheart,” he coaxes softly, and it’s like your body can’t help but obey; it’s on auto pilot.
With your drink in hand, you slowly make your way over to him and straddle him, “I should go back to my place.”
“Not in this weather, and we both know you don’t want to. You belong right here with me, just like I belong with you.”
“How are we supposed to be together? Laurie will go out of her way to make your life miserable-”
“Isn’t that what she’s doing now?”
“Baby-”
“You are so fucking beautiful,” he comments softly as he looks you over. “So fucking beautiful and the best fucking soul I’ve ever known.”
“You’re drunk,” you basically whisper as you look over his features.
His grays aren’t necessarily noticeable, but the ones you see peeking out accent him well. He looks exhausted but not old, frustrated but not worn out, and anxious but not terrified. He looks like he just needs someone to take his mind off of things for a while, and you want more than anything to be that for him.
“Ya know, I really like your tattoos,” he chuckles as his hands smooth over your thighs.
“Yeah? You don’t disapprove?”
“Hard for me to do that when I have a few of my own.”
“Oh?”
“If you want, I can show you tonight.”
“What do you want?”
“I want to love you until you’re spent, honey,” he whispers hotly against your neck before kissing it.
“Andy, are you sure you want this?” you moan as you grind against him slightly.
“You don’t know how many times I’ve gotten off to the thought of you being a begging mess beneath me,” he groans as he starts rubbing your clothed clit, making you let out a desperate whimper. “Lace panties?”
“I didn’t...I didn’t think anyone would know. It’s laundry day.”
“Lucky me,” he chuckles, picking up his pace. “Ya know, if this thin material is already soaked, I wonder what that perfect little cunt feels like,” he smirks as he pushes your panties to the side, before lightly tracing over your aching lips. “God, this pussy is just begging for me, isn’t it?” he questions before easily sliding two fingers in you.
“Andy,” you moan softly, gripping one of his shoulders tight with your free hand, giving in to what you’ve wanted for so long.
“Aren’t you just the perfect girl?” he husks as he starts to slowly fuck you.
“Baby, please don’t stop!”
“I’ve barely done anything and you’re so ready for me to destroy you.”
“I haven’t been touched in so long...been dreaming of this, Daddy,” you whimper as he picks up his pace.
“God, I can’t wait to taste this fucking cunt! What a good little girl!”
“Andy!”
“Oh, someone’s close,” he smirks as he curls his fingers, rubbing that spot that brings you to life.
“Daddy please!” you cry out as you press your forehead against his.
“Cum for me, baby! I’ve been dying to taste this cunt and I can’t wait to be deep inside you.”
“Andy!” you cry out, cumming hard on his fingers as you get lost in the euphoria of it all.
He fucks you through your ecstasy, pressing soft kisses to your temple, as you try and come back down to reality. You’re well aware that there’s no coming back from the line you two just crossed, but you also don’t care. You don’t want to come back from it. The both of you held off long enough and it’s way past time for you two to truly express how you honestly feel for one another.
He slowly removes his two fingers before smearing your lips with them. Before he has a chance, you kiss him deeply as you grind your hips against his. He groans into your mouth, and it’s enough to send you off all over again.
“You taste so much better than I ever imagined,” he broods once you two break apart. “Tell me you want this as much as I do.”
“I’ve never wanted anything more,” you whisper, leaning in closer. “I think you should take what’s always been yours, Daddy,” you finish before gently biting on his ear lobe.
In almost a blink of an eye, Andy’s hold on your waist is tighter and he’s standing up as if you’re weightless. You wrap your legs around him before going in for another all consuming, passionate kiss, surprising yourself with just how well you’re able to keep a hold of your drink.
Andy only makes it halfway up the stairs before he’s pinning you against the wall, and furiously making out with you while grinding himself against you.
“Baby please,” you whine, desperate to feel his skin pressed against yours.
“Wait...waited so fucking long to have someone as perfect as you,” he breathes out as he trails kisses down your neck: “I wanna savor every moment of this.”
“You can have anything you want from me tonight, baby. You can take everything you want from me.”
He marches you up the hallway, a step at a time, pace quickening the closer he gets to the already open bedroom door. He kicks the door closed behind the both of you before gently letting you down off him and lying you onto the bed (you finally placing your drink down on the nightstand), leaning over you with an eager smile, raining kisses onto you like a spring shower.
Right as he’s about to pull off your panties, he stands up straight and takes a step back, “take off the hoodie.”
The command is soft, but is stern enough to let you know that he’s done being cute about everything. You keep your gaze on him as you sit up, before slowly removing Jacob’s hoodie, which leaves you only in your lace black bra matching your panties.
“Fuck.”
“Now, you have to show me something,” you encourage as you slide one of your hands down between your legs.
“Anything you want,” he husks as he fights the urge to start palming himself over his pants; his eyes never leaving you and your movements.
“Lets start simple, baby. Take off your shirt,” you moan, separating your legs so he can get a better view of you caressing your clothed clit, biting your bottom lip so you can suppress a moan.
It’s hard not to focus on the bulge in his pants and how much you want what he’s concealing inside your mouth, but the second his shirt is off, you can’t take your eyes off of his chest.
“Jesus.”
No, he isn’t littered in tattoos, but he has a few on his perfectly sculpted pecs, and his abs look like you can cut diamonds on them.
Andrew Steven Barber is perfect.
“My turn, get that fucking bra off,” he pathetically moans as he finally gives in and starts to palm himself over his pants.
You’re slow to stop your movements. You move your hands up to the back of your bra, unclasping it, letting it fall down in front of you; before removing your arms from the straps, letting it fall freely and tossing it to the side.
“Fuck me,” he growls as he starts to crawl on to the bed, but you hold up your foot to stop him.
“Gotta make it fair, Daddy. Pants off,” you pout as your hand resumes its place in the middle of your legs.
“Don’t keep me waiting, sweetheart.”
“Then take them off,” you demand with a moan and a seductive smirk.
He almost falls over with how fast he tries to get his pants off, but the second they’re off, you feel your cunt clench around nothing but the sight of him in his boxer briefs.
He’s about to ruin you for every other man.
He slowly crawls onto the bed before forcing your hand out of the way and ripping your panties off, “I’m done waiting.”
It’s not lost on you that Laurie and Jacob could come home at any moment, but you’re so far past the point of caring. The both of you have waited long enough and no one is doing anything wrong. You both did your best to be as responsible and mature about this as you could be. The waiting is over.
He belongs to you just as much as you belong to him.
“Andy,” you whine as he hooks your right leg over his shoulder, kissing up your inner left leg.
“Don’t be a brat,” he warns, slapping your cunt as he continues to kiss up your leg, changing once he reaches your thigh and he slowly runs his tongue up its lower side, teasing your clit with little kitten licks.
“Shit! ‘m...I’m so sorry, Daddy! Won’t do it again,” you promise with a silent cry as you grip his hair, grinding yourself against his face.
“Such a needy little thing,” he chuckles before teasing your entrance with three fingers, “this pussy... tastes like a fucking dream!”
“Daddy please!”
“Daddy’s gonna take care of you, don’t you worry that gorgeous little head of yours,” he coos before using his lips to pull on your clit, while he easily slides two fingers inside you.
“Oh God, yes!” you cry out, arching your back a little as your free hand squeezes the sheet. “Just like that, baby!”
Andy takes his time exploring you with his tongue, licking and sucking on your clit as if trying to commit it to memory, before removing his fingers and licking your soaked folds, while his thumb skillfully circles your clit.
“N-need you so much, please,” you mewl, releasing the sheet and starting to claw up his back.
If Laurie finds out, oh well.
“ ‘m so fucking close!”
It’s almost as if you’ve activated a primal need in him, because his mouth is instantly back on your clit, licking and sucking on it with more determination than before while sliding three fingers inside of you, curling them and hitting that spot that makes you blossom like a flower for him.
“Fuck!” you wail, squirting hard as you feel your body ignite all over from pleasure, curling your toes.
You try to regulate your breathing as Andy cleans up between your legs, but the thought of what’s to come has you writhing in pure want and desire. The only thing that brings you back is the feel of the tip of Andy’s tongue slowly making it’s way up your body.
“Please,” you whimper, arching your leg and scrunching up the sheets with your toes.
“What did Daddy say about being a brat?” he growls before taking one of your nipples into his mouth and swirling his tongue his tongue around it, while his hand takes the other, kneading it between his fingers before pinching it.
“I’m sorry, I-oh fuck! I just need to feel you! Dreamt of...oh my...Andy!”
“My sensitive, sweet girl,” he smirks against your nipple. “So, so needy.”
“Please!”
“This is the only time you’ll get rewarded for misbehaving,” he warns before resuming his painfully slow trail up to your lips.
Once his lips are finally on yours again, you grip him tight and moan at the taste of you that lingers on his tongue. You’re so wrapped up in him that you don’t notice him shimmying out of his boxer briefs. You’re on the verge of begging again, when you feel him pushing his way inside of you, his kiss swallowing your gasp.
“I swear this pussy was made just for me,” he grunts as he bottoms out.
“Oh my God!” you cry as he stretches you, trying to adjust to him, but loving the way he’s pulling you apart.
“You take me so well, baby,” he groans as he starts to fuck you hard and fast.
“S-so...so full!”
“Yeah baby? You like the way this fat cock stuffs your tight little cunt?”
“Oh fuck!” you sob, his filthy words pushing you closer to your release. “So much better than I imagined!”
“Of course my filthy girl thought about me fucking her stupid. That’s what you want right? You want Daddy to fuck you stupid?”
You moan in response, wrapping a leg around his waist, moving your hips along with his, digging your nails into his back.
Andy isn’t having that.
“Use your words, sweet girl, or I’ll stop,” he warns and it only turns you on more.
“Y-yes!”
“Yes what?”
“Y-yes I wan...want you to fuck me till I can’t think, Daddy! Fuck, right there! P...please!” you sob pathetically as a few tears escape your eyes from pleasure.
“That’s my good girl,” he smirks before dipping down and starting to bite and suck on the hollow of your neck.
“Jesus, you’re gonna make me...oh my God!!”
“Never want to be without you again,” he moans, sliding a hand down between the two of you, starting to massage your clit.
“Oh...oh, fuck!”
“I love you so much!”
“I love you...Andy! I can’t...mmm yes!”
“Let go for me sweet girl! Cum all over my cock!”
“Jesus, FUCK!”
Your cunt clenches tightly around Andy’s cock as you squirt hard. You start clawing at the bed, praying that you’re not ripping them, as Andy fucks you through your high. You know he’s whispering sweet nothings in your ear, but you can’t focus on anything except how good you feel all over.
“Such a good girl,” Andy praises as he pulls out while you whine at the emptiness you now feel. “Get on your hands and knees for me,” he instructs as he strokes himself while looking at the blissed out mess on his bed that is you.
When your only response is to stare at him blankly, a sinister smirk plays on his lips.
“We’re not finished yet, honey. Didn’t think I’d be able to fuck you so stupid, so fast,” he tsks as he flips you over with ease.
It’s not that you don’t want more, you’re brain just isn’t keeping up with anything at the moment. You’re slow to get on your hands and knees, but the second you are, you’re moaning in want.
You can’t get enough.
“Never thought you’d be so fucking amazing,” he grunts as he thrusts himself inside you. “You take Daddy’s cock so well, honey.”
“Please don’t...don’t stop,” you whimper as you strangle the pillows.
“This pussy is mine and mine only, got that sweetheart?”
“Only ever want you, Daddy,” you sob as he starts pumping into you faster. “I’ll only ever need you!”
“Never knew someone as perfect could exist, baby. Especially in my fucking world....shit! The way this pretty little cunt squeezes me is perfect!”
“Make me cum again, please! Fuck me like a pretty little whore so I can make a mess all over your bed, please!”
“Jesus Christ!” he growls, gripping your hair tight as he picks up his pace.
“Ah shit! Just like that! Fuck, you make me feel so fucking good! I love you so much!”
“Say it again,” he demands, before slapping your ass.
“Yes! Fuck, I fucking love you, Andy! I love...love you so much! “
“Fuck, let go for me baby! Give it all to me right now!”
“Fuck!” you shout, your orgasm demolishing whatever energy you have left.
Andy lets out a low and guttural growl as he wraps an arm around your waist as he paints your walls with his seed. He hunches over and leans his forehead against the back of your head, and you both try to regulate your breathing as you come down from your highs.
“You are everything to me, and I...I love you so much,” he breathes out after a moment. “Nothing will ever change that, I promise.”
“I just want you, Andy. I love you and I’m here for you always. I won’t turn my back on you. I won’t hurt you,” you promise softly.
Andy slowly pulls out and, if it weren’t for him guiding you, you would’ve collapsed onto the bed. After he gently lays you down, he walks out of the bedroom and you get under the covers and try to get comfortable, but you just want Andy to hold you. A small laugh escapes your lips when you look over to the nightstand and see your drink from earlier there.
Funny how a few drinks and a couple of confessions can change a night completely.
Reach over and down the rest of it, before laying on your back and going over the events that just happened.
“I can’t tell if you’re in a good mood or not,” Andy laughs, coming back in with a wet towel in hand. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks as he pulls back the covers.
“I love you,” you smile at him as he starts to clean up the release between your legs.
“I love you too, honey,” he chuckles, “what’s going on?”
“Just...if...ya know what? Never mind.”
“Talk to me, sweetheart. This doesn’t work if we don’t talk to each other.”
“What even is “this”?”
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“If you don’t want this anymore after tonight...I understand.”
“Y/N-”
“I know you’re not a douchebag and I know you would never do anything to hurt me, but I also know that we’re both pretty fucking buzzed and upset. If you acted on impulse-”
“Hey, I love you. I have loved you for so long and this isn’t something I’m just going to be over tomorrow. I don’t want to just fuck you, even though it is insanely,” he smirks and you scoff. “I want to help you, support you, care for you, be your best friend, be someone you can count on, you can cry to. Y/N, I want to be everything for you, all the time, forever. I love you,” he smiles at you.
You sit up and pull him close, and you both get lost in a passionate and soul consuming kiss.
You never meant to fall for Andy, you never meant to add any complication to his life, and you sure as shit never meant to fall in love. However, when he makes you feel like you do now, you can’t seem to find a single reason to feel any shame or regret over anything you two have done.
You don’t feel an ounce of shame or regret over what you both have decided to start.
“Lets get some sleep,” you smile at him once you two break apart.
“Sounds good to me,” he nods before kissing your forehead.
He quickly discard the washcloth in the hamper, then gets in next to you and pulls you close. As you fall asleep to him peppering kissing along the side of your neck, you know that you’re going to be okay.
Everything is going to be just fine.
**
You giggle as you feel hairs tickle the inside of your legs.
Andy.
“What are you doing?” you laugh with your eyes still closed.
“Time for you to wake up,” he murmurs against the inside of your thigh.
“And what does you being in-between my legs have to do with me waking up?”
“It’s breakfast time and I’m starving,” he simply mumbles before licking your clit.
“Andy,” you gasp as you reach down, gripping his hair.
“That’s right, honey, come alive for Daddy.”
He slides three fingers into you with ease and you don’t stop the silent gasp that escapes your lips as he starts sucking on your clit. You didn’t appreciate it as much last night, because you were focused on what you truly wanted, but the feel of his beard hairs on your thighs only heightens everything for you.
“Fuck! Daddy, if you keep...oh God! Yes, yes....I’m right...GOD, YES!” you exclaim as you squirt hard on his fingers, more than sure that some of it got in his beard.
“What a good little girl,” he praises before cleaning up the mess between your legs.
You’re never gonna tire of the way he makes you feel, or the praise he gives you.
“We can’t do this!” you giggle as he kisses his way back up your body.
“Why?”
“She said she’ll be home in the morning, and it’s very much...fuck!” you whimper as he thrusts himself inside of you.
“I think after last night, we both know it won’t take me long to bring you off,” he teases as he starts relentlessly pumping into you.
“Daddy, I-”
“Andy!” Laurie’s voice rings out from the entry way as the door slams shut.
“Shit!” you whisper as Andy stalls within you almost instantly.
As you both lay there, sheer panic written all over your faces, you can’t help but think about what the future has in store for the both of you. Yeah, if Laurie catches you both, it’ll be hell to pay.
But what about Jacob? It’ll crush him and what will happen to your friendship. Both you and Andy scamper around as quietly as you can, as you do your best to avoid your panic attack.
“Andy!?” Laurie calls again as she searches around downstairs.
You both stop and look at each other, and the look on Andy’s face tells you that you’re both thinking the same thing:
What the fuck did you two just get yourselves into?
~~
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Consciousness Of Guilt
Chapter 25
Summary: You and Andy find out the sex of your new baby, and that leads Andy to an important decision.
Warnings: Language, adult themes, and an Andy who needs a hug…
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer. I do not consent to my work being translated or posted elsewhere. If you see this fiction on any site other than Tumblr it has been taken without permission.
W/C: 6.6k
A/N: So, here we are. The penultimate chapter. Hard to believe we’re almost there. As always, massive Thanks to my beta @spectre-writes
Consciousness Of Guilt Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Chapter 24
6.6k
Andy was nervous. Why he didn't know. Not entirely. It wasn't his first, maybe not his last. But sitting with you in the ultrasound room this time around had his knee bouncing and his stomach in knots. He hadn't even felt this way with Lucy's gender scan. This was...just different. You looked over at him and sighed. "Andy, relax." Your eyes were incredibly soft as you looked him over. He looked tired, you knew he was. He hadn't been sleeping much lately. He had to prepare for this seminar and a trial all at once. And when the work took over, keeping sleep at bay or to a minimum, the dreams started. It kept you up too and then he'd force himself to bed just so you'd sleep. Before your mind could think more and Andy could reply, the technician came in with a bright smile. “Me and Mrs Barber?” She pulled up the ultrasound machine as she walked round to the side of the trolley you were sat on. "Yep," Andy rubbed his hands on his thighs and stood to join you as you situated yourself on the table. She smiled as you lifted up your top, and then looked at you both. “So, you wanna know what you’re having, huh?” "Yes!" You grinned. "We did with our first." “Are they going to be a big brother or sister?” “Sister.” You smiled, “she’s so excited.” “I have three myself, a girl and twin boys," the technician grinned. "Lay back for me, this will be just a little cold." She squirted the gel on your lower abdomen after you'd undone your pants. "Are we taking bets, guesses, desires?" You glanced at Andy, swallowed a little, and you reached for his hand. “You have a feeling don’t you?” He nodded, "boy." He smiled at you as you squeezed his fingers. “Well, let’s see if dads right.” It took a couple of minutes, finding the baby and taking images for the more necessary parts of the scan. "Things look good," the technician smiled. "I can't say for sure since I'm not an MD but pieces and parts look good. Are we ready for the sex?" You looked at your husband. “Andy?” Andy nodded and squeezed your hand. "Are you a betting man, Mr Barber?" The tech looked at you both with a straight face. “I’ve had the occasional flutter, but it’s been a while.” He gave a little chuckle. “Well, take your odds to Vegas," the tech smiled and turned her screen. "It's a boy." Your eyes pricked with tears as you felt Andy’s hand tight around yours. "I'll get these printed for you and leave them with your chart when you go," she smiled warmly. "Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Barber." “Thank you,” you smiled, your eyes watching her go. When the door clicked shut, you looked over at Andy with tears in your eyes, "Andy...." “A boy…” he whispered. "Yeah," you said softly. "A boy." Your stomach was in knots as you tried to read your husband. For the first time since your very beginning, you couldn't. His eyes were shifting around the room, quickly. Looking at everything, yet focussing on nothing. "Okay," you took a shuddering breath and sat up, letting go of his hand. You swallowed the lump in your throat and slid off the table. You did up your pants, the with a turn on your foot, you stood between Andy's legs. "I can't imagine what's in your head right now," you knew exactly how his mind was whirring. "I won't pretend I do. But I am so happy, and I know you are too, BB. Just process it, okay, we'll talk about it all later." You kissed his lips tenderly as you cupped his face. "When you're ready." “Angel…” he reached up for your hand. "Yeah?" You whispered. His other hand curled round the back of your thigh as he sat up, his nose softly brushing the t-shirt which was stretched a little over your bump. “Hi, son…” he whispered, his voice cracking. Your bottom lip quivered and you sniffed. Your hand moved to the top of your little bump and you sputtered. His forehead pressed gently to your belly before those azure eyes looked up at you, misty with tears. “I love you so much.” "I love you, too, Andy," you cupped his cheek, your thumb running over his cheekbone. "We both do, we all do." Andy licked his lips, before he moved a little and you stepped back to allow him to stand up. He wiped his eyes, took a deep breath and then turned to you. “Wow…” You tearfully grinned, "I know." He moved and wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. “Suppose we best go tell Looby.” Andy snorted as the pair of you moved towards the door. Once you’d collected what you needed to, you made your way out towards Andy’s Audi, hand in hand. “So…how do you think we should do it?” You asked. “Tell Lucy, I mean.” "Suppose we just tell her?" Andy shrugged, still sniffing a little. "I'm not sure. How'd you find out about your sister?" “Mom and dad didn’t find out.” You shook your head. "Oh," he nodded and opened the door for you. "Well, then I guess we just tell her," he chuckled a little. "But we have the drive back to Ron's to figure it out." “Oh…erm can you stop by the bakery?” "Sure," he closed your door and walked around the back of the car to his side. Once in and settled, he started the car and backed out of the space. Turning left rather than right, toward Ron's, he took you to the little bakery you liked so much just down the road from the diner. As you pulled up outside, Andy stopped the car and then turned to you. “What is it?” You asked softly. “I wanna tell Lucy about both her brothers.” Your head slowly turned to look at him. "Okay..." “I mean…I know she’s probably too young to understand about Jacob, but if I tell her and keep telling her as she grows up…then she’s gotta understand as she gets older, right?” You kicked your lips. You weren't entirely surprised by his decision. You knew the day would come when Andy would want to tell Lucy about her big brother. He was after all, in the grand scheme of it, the reason she was born. But could a three year old possibly understand? That said, Lucy was very much like her father, brilliant in thought and smooth in word. Maybe you were doing her a disservice in doubting her. But more so, you knew this was less about her understanding than it was about Andy needing to tell her. You exhaled, “Andy," you paused, waiting for his eyes to flick to you. "I think you’re right. I think you should.” “Maybe…I…” he swallowed, “I just don’t think I know how.” You took a second to think, "that's okay too, BB. You'll know when you figure it out. If you want me there, I can be. I will be. But it's also okay for you to go at it alone with her." His hand reached for yours and he lifted it, softly kissing the soft skin of your wrist. “Thank you.” "I love you," you said softly, "and I know our son is..." your voice waivered, "our son is just as important as Jacob was. He won't replace his big brother. Just like Lucy never could. I can't possibly imagine how you're feeling, and part of me doesn't want to." You sniffed as the emotions started to take hold. "This is a big deal," you squeezed his hand, "and I'm always here, just like I've always been, always will be." Andy sniffed a little, before he glanced at you again. “I can’t tell you how happy I am. Another baby, a boy…” You lifted his hand to your lips, "I know...."
*********
Lucy sat in the living room in front of the film collection that sat below the television. You had gone to take a well-deserved nap so Andy popped popcorn for he and his little bunny to pass the time. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could before the new baby arrived. For once she became a big sister, the Barber family would be forever changed. A familiar shape caught Lucy's eye and she pulled the case out. Her eyes grew wide as she stood and practically ran it over to Andy as he sat on the couch waiting for her choice.
"Daddy Wex we wash dis one!" She flopped on the couch next to him.
Andy looked over at her to take the case from her hand just as a feather escaped the couch cushion and floated between them.
The simple action made Lucy giggle as she tried to catch it.
Andy was caught off guard by the floating object, his focus quickly shifting away from Lucy. He felt his chest tighten and then he heard her giggle, her voice.
A blurred image of a T-Rex skeleton filled his vision. "Whoa, back up a second," he croaked then cleared his throat. "I can't see with it so close, bunny."
“Iss a Dino!” She moved a little allowing Andy to take the case from her.
“This…” he glanced at the Jurassic Park Blu-ray and sighed, “Looby this is gonna be way too grown up and scary for you.“
"But issa t-wex. I nots get scared, Daddy. I pwomise!"
Andy looked at her, and then he noticed the feather had landed in her hair.
It didn’t escape him just how much she was like Jacob, how he would often cajole Andy into allowing him to stay up later than he should or eat things that perhaps weren’t the wisest of choices just before bed.
And now, that feather…it was almost like Jake was telling him, “don’t be such a square, Dad…”
He chuckled with a little splutter and sniffed. It was the first feather he'd seen in a while and of all days for it to appear, it was now. With Lucy, and on the day the two of you found out your new baby was a boy. Andy reached out and plucked the feather from her hair and swallowed back the lump in his throat. And he knew, the time was right.
“Okay, we can…but first, there’s something I wanna talk to you about.”
“I not does it, Gwant ates your belt."
Andy blinked, “no, I…wait, he ate my belt?”
"Ooops," Lucy grinned with a giggle as she covered her mouth.
“Why would you think I would think you…you know what, it doesn’t matter. That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Lucy climbed up into his lap and sat there with her legs slung over his thighs, her little legs bouncing. Eyes that looked like his own gazed up at him as if he were the best thing in the world.
“So…you know before, when you got your cupcake…and it had blue frosting…”
"Because I gets a brudder! I so essited!" Lucy beamed at him,
“Me too, baby.” Andy swallowed, “But I wanna tell you something. About a long time ago, before I met your mommy.”
“Like when there was dinos?”
“No, not quite!” Andy laughed, “I’m not that old!”
Looby giggled again and Andy took a deep breath. “But, back then, I had a different family.”
"You did?" Lucy frowned.
Andy nodded. “I had a different wife…and a boy…a son.”
"Oh...not Mommy, nots my baby?"
“No.” Andy shook his head. “He was older, a lot older than you.”
"Oh..." she was quiet for a minute. "Where deys goes?"
“They…they died. In an accident.”
"Oh...." Lucy frowned, "Yous sad?"
“I was, Bunny. For a long time. Sometimes I still am. But you and mommy…and now our new baby, you make it better.”
In a mature move, that surprised even Andy, Lucy threw herself into his chest. Her little body twisted to hug him close. "Nos be sad, Daddy." She whispered, "it's otay."
Andy choked a little, his arms cuddling his daughter close. “Oh, Lucy. I love you. So much.”
"Who's he? Your uvver boy?”
“His name...his name was Jake. Jacob.”
"Jay-cob," Lucy repeated. "Jacob wiked dime-osaurs."
Andy blinked, “he…he did. What….what makes you say that?”
"I wike dem, so Jay-cob wiked dem."
Andy looked down at his daughter. “He did, he liked them a lot.”
She grinned, "wike you and me."
“Just like me and you.” Andy smiled. “You know what else he liked?”
"Wut?"
“Ice cream.”
Lucy squealed, "I wuv ice cream!"
“I know,” Andy grinned.
"We has some? Wiff the movie?”
Andy chuckled, “okay, but we should probably ask Mommy. Or I'll be in big trouble!”
Lucy climbed down from where she sat and waited for Andy to get up. She took his big hand with her tiny one and pulled him toward the stairs.
"Where are we going?" He asked.
"To ask Mommy about ice cweam!"
"Oh, hang on, Looby!" Andy chuckled and pulled her back to him. "Mommy is taking a nap, why don't we start with our popcorn and when she wakes up, we ask about the ice cream?"
Lucy looked like she was in deep thought. Her little eyebrows rose into her forehead. "Just a wittle bit? I won'ts tell if you won'ts!"
There it was again, that glimmer of Jacob inside his sister. Andy supposed it was what he gave his children, sneaky little traits. He snorted, “alright, let’s go see what we got.”
Andy had just about finished scooping Lucy's strawberry ice cream into her bowl when he heard your voice. "What are you doing?"
Andy and Lucy stopped dead as you walked into the kitchen.
“Uh oh, Looby…”
“Busted!” Lucy giggled.
"Ice cream before dinner?" Your hands went to your hips, slightly masked by your little bump.
“Iss for the moovie mommy!”
You couldn't help but playfully sneer at them but then turned that smirk into a grin, "Where's my bowl?!"
Andy's grin matched yours as he slid the bowl intended for his own ice cream in front of him and began adding scoops. "How much, Angel?"
“Plenty.” You grinned.
Andy chuckled and scooped up your bowl. Lucy sat on the counter bouncing her feet as she held her bowl in her lap.
“So, what movie are we watching?”
"Juwassic Pahk!" Lucy replied.
You blinked. “Really?”
"Yup!" Lucy took a bite of her ice cream.
"Andy, are you sure?" You were a little concerned.
"We'll give it a try," he smiled softly. "Trust me, Angel."
"Mommy! Guess what?" Lucy asked.
"What?" You replied.
"Daddy says I has a Jay-cob wike my baby. He wikes dinos and ice cream likes me!”
“Daddy told you about your big brother huh?” You smiled.
At that Lucy frowned. “He’s not my brudder.”
"Why do you say that?" You asked as Andy frowned.
"Because you not his mommy," she sighed.
Andy sighed, he'd hoped she had understood what he told her but maybe he’d been a little optimistic to expect her to fully understand how the dynamics would work. He looked at you, as you registered his reaction. “I didn’t even think to try and explain that…”
"Hey, it’s okay…” You smiled gently. “Lucy, you’re right. I'm not Jacob’s mommy…”
“Dems hows he my brudder?”
"Because just like your baby brother in here,” you rubbed your bump, “ you share Daddy with him. Jacob was your brother because you have the same Daddy.”
“Oh…buts not the same mommy?”
“No baby, Jacob’s mommy was a different lady, her name was Laurie. Daddy was married to her before he met me.”
“Otay.” Looby nodded. “I sees.”
“You do?” Andy felt his heart lighten at little at her words.
“Yups. Jay-cob was my brudder, because we has the same daddy.” She repeated with a final firm nod.
“That’s it.” Andy smiled softly, “you’re so clever, Bunny.”
“Buts he in heaven nows, mommy.”
You looked at Andy as she'd said it, and saw his eyes misting as you answered for him. “Yeah, Looby, he is."
Lucy then sighed, “so I cants see him.”
“You know…” Andy quickly wiped his eyes, “I can show him to you. If you like?”
"Otay," she smiled. She handed you her bowl of ice cream, "Don't eats it, Mommy!"
“Okay, I won’t.” You chuckled.
With a soft smile, Andy looked at you.
“You go, I'll meet you at the couch.”
He nodded and swooped Lucy up in his arms off the counter.
He carried her across to the study, and gently sat her on the oak desk. He reached for a photo which sat next to one of you both and Lucy, taken a few months back, and he gently held it out.
“This is Jacob. And me.” He smiled softly. “We were in our garden of my old home.”
"Hi Jay-cob," Lucy smiled, "I your sissy, Looby."
Andy smiled as he watched, the lump in his throat thick.
"We has Daddy."
At that Andy had to look away, his chest feeling tight.
"Yous ups in Heaven wiff Bongo. Das Nanny and Gwampa’s doggy. He dieded..."
At that Andy couldn’t help but splutter a chuckle at the memory of the raggedy dog he had first met all those years back. Sadly, old age and ill health had forced your parents to make the decision all pet owners dread, and they’d done the kindest thing for him last week.
“You know, I think I’m gonna miss Bongo…” Andy smiled softly.
"Wike you misses Jay-cob?"
“Kinda.” Andy nodded.
"I wike him," Lucy looked away from the photo and to Andy. "Das my brudder, Jay-cob."
Andy immediately felt the sting in his nose, and he sniffed. “I’m sure…” his voice cracked, “I’m sure he would have liked you too, Looby.”
Ever astute, Lucy looked up at Andy, "Daddy....why you crying?"
Andy hesitated and thought about brushing it off but instead he gently picked Lucy up.
“I sometimes do when I think of Jake, but you…you make it all better.”
"I does?"
“Absolutely. Now…you know what I need?”
"A big Looby-Sore-us hug?”
“A huge Looby-Saurus hug.” Andy nodded.
Her arms wrapped around his neck and squeezed.
Andy hugged her back, his face burying into her hair. “I love you so much, don’t ever forget that.”
"I lobes you too," her little forehead touched his. "Daddy?”
“Yes, baby?”
"Can we has our popcorn and ice cream now?"
Andy laughed, “sure. Come on.”
Her little arms wrapped around his neck and held on tight as he carried her across the hall.
“Well, there you are!” You smiled as they both walked into the living space.
"Any longer and you'd miss out on ice cream! It's melting!"
"We're sorry, Angel," Andy kissed Lucy's temple and set her down. He bent his neck and gave you a soft kiss, his hand settling over your small bump.
“It’s okay,” you smiled, “did you guys…”
"Yeah, I think so," he replied softly. His eyes still a little pink.
"Are you okay?" You gently rubbed his arm.
With a nod and sniffle, Andy sighed with a small shake in his chest. "It's just fine."
"I love you, Andy."
“I love you too, Angel, all of you.”
With your hand over his, you smiled ever so gently as you all settled down to watch the film.
Surprisingly to you, maybe not so much to Andy, Lucy was fine with most of the film but didn’t like the bit where the Raptors were chasing Tim and Lexi through the kitchen. She asked Andy to fast forward through that bit, so he did.
There were no nightmares, just an excited little girl babbling all about the best bits of the film to Andy the next morning as he got her ready for nursery, asking when she could watch it again.
The rest of your week passed quickly, as did the weekend, and soon Monday morning rolled around bringing with it four nights away for Andy at a conference in New York. He was reticent to leave you, but you waved his worry away. Your pregnancy hadn’t been any more difficult than with Lucy and you felt more than capable of coping without him. You kissed him goodbye as he left in the morning, watching his baby girl hug him tight before you both then set off for the office and nursery, Grant perched in the seat next to Lucy so he could take up residency in his corner of your office as usual.
That evening, on the way home you stopped by the pet store as you’d run out of dog treats for your office stash. You let Lucy hold Grants leash as you pushed the trolley around, popping in a few bags of natural treats and titbits.
Lucy then asked to go look at the tanks of fish at the back, and she watched with fascination at how the assistant was catching a few for a sale when she gave a gasp and tugged at your top.
“Mommy, please! We hasta get Daddy-Wex a fish!"
You paused, then frowned. “Looby, why do you say that?”
"I fink he's sad," she shrugs.
“You do?”
"Yeah," she kicked dust on the ground. "I fink he misses Jay-cob."
You took a deep breath. Andy had, indeed, been a lot more reflective than you’d seen him in a long time since the day of your sexing scan. And, whilst you knew he was happy about the news you were having a boy, you also knew he was still wrapping his head around it all. And that was okay, he’d get there in time.
What you hadn’t realised was that your beautiful and smart three year old had noticed the change in her daddy too. And moreover, you had absolutely no idea how the hell she’d joined the dots as to what the problem was. But she had.
“You know, you’re right, he does miss Jacob.” You looked down at her. “And I think that because the new baby is going to be a boy, it’s making daddy think about Jacob a lot. But he’s gonna be okay.”
"I don't wike it when Daddy is sad."
“I don’t either,” you sighed, cupping her face. “But I promise, you help him. He loves you, baby. And you make him smile.” You then looked at the tank of fancy goldfish and bit your lip. “Why do you think fish will make daddy feel better?”
"Because he wikes the fish at the aquaridum!"
You felt your heart swell, and the tears of emotion prick your eyes at just how observant and thoughtful your little girl was.
“You’re right…” you nodded, and then you decided; screw it. “You know, if we wanna get him some fish, we gotta get a tank and set it all up first…”
"Oh, can we!"
“Sure, why not.” You smiled. “We can set it up and then come back for the fish at the end of the week, before daddy comes home.”
"He's gonna be so happy, Mommy! So happy!"
You smiled, you had no idea whether Andy wanted fish or not, but you knew he’d love them simply because his little girl had picked them for him, for a very caring reason.
So, off you went, loading the trolley up with an adequately sized set up, including lights, filter, substrate, and a large ornament which was in the shape of a t-rex skeleton skull.
You knew that lifting the things inside the house wasn't going to be the best of ideas if Andy sussed it out, but you didn't need to enlist help either. So when you got home, with Lucy's help carrying the lighter things, you managed to get the tank and things inside and sat in Andy's office where Lucy wanted to set up the tank.
Lucy helped you arrange the ornaments and pop in the plants, then it was a case of filling it up. You had the bright idea of using the hosepipe and attaching it to the tap in the cloakroom across the hall, and it worked pretty well all things considered.
“Iss dirty!” Lucy peered at the water.
“No, it just needs to settle.” You assured her as you flicked the filter on and added the chemicals they had told you to at the shop. “Tomorrow morning it’ll be much better.”
"Can I watch it?" Lucy grinned, complete excitement dancing in her eyes.
“There’s not much to see,” you chuckled, “but I got a better idea.”
"What?"
“Why don’t you come and look on the iPad for the types of fish we should get daddy whilst I make dinner?”
"Oh, yay!" Lucy clapped, "I esscited!"
“I know, honey, I can tell. And Daddy’s gonna love his surprise.”
"I hope sos!" Lucy smiled up at you.
You smiled down and her and took her hand, leading her to the kitchen and grabbing your tablet along the way.
True to her word, Lucy picked out a few good fish to start Andy's collection. As you didn’t work Thursdays or Fridays, Lucy didn’t attend nursery, so Thursday afternoon you took her to a specialist aquatics shop this time and let her explain to the assistant what she wanted with the pictures she had printed off and watched, smiling as the young man led her round to the cold water tanks.
When you got home, the two of you started the process of integrating the fish in the tank. Lucy couldn’t wait to tell Andy all about them.
And she would get her chance in one more sleep. Andy was scheduled to touch back down in Denver just after eleven the next morning and would be home just after lunch.
“Deys look happy, mommy!” She giggled as the four fancy goldfish swam around the various plants. “Buts deys so smalls!”
“They’re babies, Bunny.” You smiled, “that’s why. But the man told you they’ll grow bigger and that’s the perfect amount for the tank size.”
"But no more than four," Lucy held up four fingers. "Or that's toooo mush!"
You chuckled at the way she said it, that was her and Andy’s thing. Andy had always asked her how much daddy loved Looby and that was the standard response. Tooo much.
“You’re right, it is too much.” You smiled, hand on your bump as your baby boy was wriggling. “Now, which ones your favourite?”
"Ummmmm," Lucy watched them swim for a moment. "That one! Right dere!" She pointed to a particularly deep gold rather than orange colored fish. "Das Goldie!"
“Goldie…” you chuckled, “you not going to let daddy name them?”
“He can name the uvvers.” Lucy beamed up at you, a smile much like her father's with eyes that were entirely his.
"Good Idea. Now, what do you think about laying down with me for a bit and then we can order pizza and snuggle all night. Tomorrow, just after lunch Daddy will be home."
"Is Auntie Jo coming wiff hims?" Lucy wondered.
"No, baby, she's not. Not this time." You smiled, "So whatdya say; snuggles, pizza and more snuggles?"
“Yay!” She nodded, “and Gwant too.”
“Of course! Can't forget about Grant!"
Lucy did indeed snuggle and take a little cat nap with you until Andy called, waking you both up.
“Hey…” you blinked at the screen.
“I’m sorry, Angel.” He sighed, apologetically, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay,” you shook your head, “I should probably be getting little miss ready for bed anyway.”
"You feeling alright?" Andy wondered.
"Just making a baby, nothing unusual," you chuckled.
“Nah, the making is the fun part,” Andy winked, “You’re doing the hard work baking him now.”
You grinned, "how did it go today?”
“It was okay, my presentation in the morning went without a hitch.” He smiled, “some of the debate this afternoon got a little heated but, wouldn’t expect anything else from a room full of judges and lawyers. The big dinner tonight should make up for it.”
"Ah yes, the dinner," you sighed, remembering the very first one you'd attended with Andy. "Bland chicken and cold vegetables. Enjoy the open bar, it'll be worth it."
Andy laughed, “lamb tonight, Angel, they asked for our orders in advance. And I intend to, although not too much. Don’t fancy flying home with a hangover.”
“Is that daddy?” A yawning voice from the little person tucked into your side spoke.
"It sure is, Bunny."
She shifted a little and sat up, and you smoothed her hair back as she took the phone from you.
“Hi daddy rex!”
"Well, hi Looby-saurus!" Andy chuckled, "how's my little bunny? Are you taking care of Mommy?"
“Yups,” She grinned. “We had Pizza and watched Toy Story!”
"Well, I can't believe I missed it!"
“Yous can watch at weekends” she grinned.
“Sounds great?” Andy smiled, “what else did you do?”
“Wells today we goes and…” Lucy stopped, and then blinked. “Oops, I cants say.”
"Oh, you can't, huh?" A smirk crossed his lips. He flicked his brow in curiosity.
"Nopes, it's a supwise! I cants!"
“You got me a surprise?”
"Don't give in to him, Lucy!" You laughed. "Andy..." you slowly scolded.
“What?” He laughed.
“Dass naughty, Daddy!”
"Alright! I'll be excited to see it! One more sleep, Looby, just one!"
“Does you gots to work tomorrow when yous home?”
“Nope.” Andy shook his head, “it’s an early start to the weekend, baby.”
"Pancakes?"
“Well, I won’t be home until after lunch but…Saturday morning absolutely.”
“Wiff berries and whippeds cream?"
“Of course, is there any other way?”
"Otay! I miss you Daddy."
“I miss you too, Bunny, but one more sleep. That’s all.”
"Otay, Daddy! I gots to go potty!"
“Alright…I love you.”
"Bye daddy!" Lucy tossed the phone to you and then scrambled over your legs and off the sofa.
Can you manage?” You called after her.
"I gots it!"
You chuckled as you picked up the phone. “Little Miss Independent.”
"Huh, yeah, like someone else I know," Andy's eyes sent a playful glare your way. "I miss you, Angel. I know It's only been a couple of days, but I miss you both a lot."
“I miss you too, but not long now.” You smiled softly.
"No, I suppose not," he smiled back. But whilst you knew his smile was genuine, there was that look in his eyes. The look you recognised all too well, and the one that was clearly now why Lucy was feeling the way she was about her daddy; that he was sad.
“Andy…”
"Yeah, baby?"
“It’s okay, you know. To feel how you’re feeling about this…about him. I get it.”
Andy sighed, "I know. But...Angel, this... This is on me. It's not about our son, it's not about us. I'm just...it’s a lot to wrap around right now. It's been a heavy week." His shoulders slumped and he inhaled a shaky breath. "Maybe that's why this seminar hasn't been the greatest. My heads not here, my heart isn't either."
“Oh, Andy.” You swallowed, “I can’t imagine how you feel but I just want you to know I’m not mad or upset…I just, well I get it, okay. And however long you need…that’s okay too.”
"Thank you, I'm sorry."
“Are you happy about the baby?”
“What? Of course I am!”
“And are you gonna love him any less because he is a boy?”
“No, Angel, that’s…”
“Then there’s nothing to be sorry for.” You shook your head.
Andy took in a deep, rattling breath. His eyes were misting, and you could see it over the video call.
“I mean it,” you looked at him.
Andy nodded, the words stuck in his throat. He sniffed and cleared the lump away. "I love you."
“I love you too. So much, Andrew Steven Barber.”
He nodded as his lip wobbled, "I'm gonna see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Angel."
“Yeah, you will. Enjoy the dinner, okay? “
“Okay, honey.”
You bid him goodbye and then took a deep breath before you hauled yourself up off the sofa and headed off to find Lucy.
****
It was just before one the next afternoon when Lucy excitedly yelled as she heard Andy’s car pull up the gravel driveway in front of your home.
“Mommy! It's Daddy-Rex!! He's home!"
“I heard,” you chuckled over Grant’s barking.
He came through the front door and dropped his bags at once, scooping up a charging Lucy.
“Hi, Bunny!” He grinned as he hugged her tightly.
Her little arms strangled around his neck as she buried her little face into his bearded cheek. "I missed yous!"
“I missed you too. Have you looked after mommy and your brother for me?”
Lucy pulled back and smooshed his cheeks together, "Yups! And I fed Gwant! He no eats your tings dis time."
“Well, good job!” Andy grinned as he puckered his lips for a kiss off his daughter. She laid one on him and with a final squeeze, let her down. He used his lower thigh to move Grant out of the way and looped an arm around you as you waited close by. He cupped the side of your face with his free and hand kissed you. Kissed you good; tenderly and slowly.
“Hi…” you whispered, your nose brushing his.
"Hi, baby," he whispered back. His lips pecked yours as he pulled back a little to rest his hand on your bump. "Hi, pal."
“How was your flight?” You asked, your hand laying over the top of his.
"Not quick enough," he sighed. "Let me take these bags up and put my briefcase in the office and I'm all yours. Jo gave me some stuff to bring home for Lucy."
“Why am I not surprised?” You chuckled, “she’s spoilt.”
"Hey, she's her godmother and Lucy is the closest thing they have to children.” Andy smirked. "Let me just go put this in the office first," he winked and picked up his shoulder bag.
"No Daddy! You cants go in there!" Lucy exclaimed.
“Why not?”
"Ums..." she looked at you for help.
“Because we made a mess in there, and we need to tidy up.” You said slowly, holding his gaze.
“Ohhh,” Andy nodded, winking at you. “I see.”
"So you goes to your room, Daddy!" Lucy grinned, "gets cozy and comes back!" She shrugged with her hands out to the sides like it was the perfect idea.
Andy bit his lip, stopping himself from laughing and he nodded. “That’s the best idea, ever.”
"Otay, bye!"
Andy kissed you again and grabbed his suitcase and headed upstairs. Grant, as ever the obnoxious dog he was to his owner, trotted up after him.
“Hello, you furry ass hole.” Andy chuckled as he hopped up onto the bed, tail wagging. He gave Grant an affectionate scratch behind the ear before he emptied his case out quickly. Once his dirty laundry was in the basket, he changed from his jeans and polo to some sweats and a tee.
“C’mon, pal. Let’s go see what your best buddy has planned, huh?”
Grant huffed as if in reply and followed Andy out of the room. Behind his back he held a little gift bag from Jo and her wife. Quickly thudding down the stairs, Andy found you and a very excited Lucy waiting for him ever so wiggly patient by the television and fireplace.
"Cwose yous eyes, Daddy!"
“Okay, but don’t you want your present from auntie JoJo first?”
Lucy's eyes grew wise, "yes, pwease!" She jumped up and down.
With a smile, Andy handed it over.
She sat right down in the spot where she'd stood and pulled the tissue from the top.
“Ooooh looks!” She pulled a new set of colouring pencils out, followed by a sketch book. “I lobes them!”
"Auntie knows you love your art sets, doesn't she, Looby?" You smiled at her, your hand resting on your belly.
Andy smiled warmly and pulled his phone from the coffee table. "Look here, Looby Loo!" He snapped a picture to send off later.
"Okay, do you think Daddy's ready, Lucy?" You peered down at her as she put her things on the coffee table.
“Yups!” She nodded, a huge grin on her face.
"Alright," you smiled. "Close your eyes, BB. Looby, take his hand and go show him. I'm right behind you."
“Dis way, Daddy. For your surprise!”
"Don't run me into anything!"
"No peeking, Daddy!"
“I’m not…”
Lucy took him to his office and made sure he stood right in front of the tank. You held your phone out for pictures and video that you knew Andy would want to see later.
“Okay daddy, when I counts free!”
Andy chuckled, "Okay!"
"One...two..free!"
Andy opened his eyes and blinked. He frowned a little, before his mouth curled up at one side.
“Goldfish?”
"Yup!" She grinned. "Wike the aquardium!"
“They are, yeah.” He chuckled, “and is that a t-rex?”
"Yes! Mommy wet me gets it!" Lucy giggled and hugged his leg. "Are yous happy now, Daddy?"
At that Andy looked away from the fish and down at Lucy. “What do you mean, Bunny?”
"You sads cause of Jay-cob, so I makes you happy!"
“I…” Andy blinked, before he hung his head a little, swallowing.
Your hand fell to the middle of his back, "It's okay." You whispered to him. Then with a little louder voice you peered around Andy's broad back, "He loves it Lucy."
Andy gently dropped to his knees and pulled his daughter into his arms and just held her. "I'm so happy about my fish, baby."
“Daddy, you cries?”
"I'm okay, Lucy, I promise." He sniffed.
“Daddy’s just really happy. Sometimes those feelings get a lot.” You explained.
"Oh," she sighed. "No cries, okay Daddy? I loves you, and dems fishies loves you. Mommy, my baby, my Jay-cob. We alls loves you, Daddy-Rex."
Andy spluttered and pulled Lucy to him, burying his face in her hair. “I love you too, my baby girl. So, so much.”
"Tooooo much!"
Andy pulled back. “Lucy, I wanna tell you something now. And I hope you understand. But, sometimes when I miss Jacob, I do feel sad, but that doesn’t ever mean I don’t love you or I’m sad because of you. You and mommy and now your new baby brother make me so, so happy.”
Lucy took a minute to try and, but she looked confused. Your heart ached for your husband, hearing him say it just chipped away a little at it. The confusion on Lucy's face made you smile softly. "That means that Daddy loves you no matter what and always, okay, Lucy?"
“I knows dat!” She looked at you and then Andy as if you were both stupid.
"Okay, Bunny, just so you know," Andy sniffed. "Now, do they have names?"
“Erms…one does.” She grinned as Andy stood up with her in his arms. “Dat one is Goldie.”
"Oh, Goldie, huh? Original.” His sarcasm was lost on Lucy as she grinned. Andy chuckled. “Okay, and the rest?"
"Das it."
“So, we have to pick names for the other three?” Andy studied the remaining fish, one being white with an orange stripe down its back, the other black with googly eyes and the other a mix of black, orange and gold flecks.
"Yup!"
“Okay…well this one is kinda speckled, so what about Speckles?”
“Now who’s original?” You whispered and he snorted.
"I wike dat," Lucy smiled. "And dat one is...." she thought for a moment, pointing at the black one. "Dat one is Wex!"
“Rex, okay…that’s cool so that just leaves that one with the stripe.”
“Erms oh, oh…Iddle Foot!”
"Oh, good eye, baby! He has a stripe like Little Foot, huh?" Andy kissed her temple. "Thank you so much for my surprise, both of you." He reached for you and looped his arm around your waist, then he kissed your temple. "I love you all so much."
“He wikes them mommy!”
"He sure does, baby," you nodded and leaned into Andy. "He sure does.”
#consciousness of guilt#andy barber#andy barber fanfic#andy barber x reader#andy barber fanfiction#Andy barber x you#reader insert#Chris Evans character#Defending Jacob#defending jacob fanfiction#defending Jacob fan fic
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Puzzle's 2023 Writing Bingo Card One Masterlist
B1. Sock [MCU, Clintasha, 100 words, General]
Natasha buys Clint socks. Clint buys her scarves. This is love.
B2. Voyage [Defending Jacob, Andy Barber, 300 words, Teen and Up]
Andy doesn't stay in the country after everything that happened.
B3. Battery [Lightyear, Buzz Lightyear & Sox, 100 words, General]
Buzz is glad he has his friends and Sox.
B4. Battlefield [Arthurian Mythology, Arthur Pendragon & Mordred, 100 words, Mature]
This was always what fate had in store for them.
B5. Champagne [Marvel, Steve/Sharon, 100 words, General]
Steve and Sharon take some time to reconnect.
I1. Observer [DC, Superbat, 200 words, Teen and Up]
Clark watches the man he loves switch between his different identities.
I2. Sacrifice [Marvel, Steve/Sharon/Bucky, 604 words, Teen and Up]
Sharon takes a bullet for Bucky. When she wakes up again she, Steve and Bucky express their love for each other.
I3. Fire [DC, Superbat, 100 words, General]
Clark saves Bruce from a fire.
I4. Suit [Marvel, Jessica & Steve & Bucky, 100 words, Teen and Up]
Jessica shows off her new suit to Steve and Bucky.
I5. Mark [Marvel, Steve/Emma, 100 words, Mature]
Steve Rogers isn't the kind of guy Emma usually goes for but he's what she wants tonight.
N1. Loss [Merlin BBC, Merthur, 100 words, General]
Merlin has waited hundreds of years for Arthur's return. He grieves every day.
N2. Glimpse [Knives Out, Benoit Blanc/Phillip, 100 words, General]
Phillip worries about Benoit.
N3. Begin [Star Wars Sequels, Poe/Finn/Rey, 100 words, General]
There's an entire galaxy to explore. Rey is happy with her lovers.
N4. Rubbish [Marvel, Jessica Drew & Bucky Barnes, 100 words, Teen and Up]
Jessica didn't expect to make a friend while fighting Hydra.
N5. Mist [Merlin BBC, Merthur, 200 words, General]
Arthur finally returns.
G1. Precision [Marvel, Bucky & Alpine, 100 words, General]
Alpine wakes Bucky up.
G2. Landscape [Marvel, Steve/Sharon/Bucky, 100 words, General]
Steve paints the place where he and his lovers confessed their love.
G3. Game [Marvel, Steve Rogers & Arnie Roth, 100 words, General]
Steve and Arnie play cards like they used to.
G4. Cherry [Marvel Cinematic Universe, Bishlova, 100 words, Teen and Up]
Kate can't stop watching Yelena's lips.
G5. Food [Shadowhunters, Bubbie Helen & Isabelle Lightwood, 100 words, General]
Bubbie Helen teaches Isabelle how to cook.
O1. Piano [Marvel, Steve Rogers & Arnie Roth, 100 words, General]
Steve and Arnie look at the piano that belonged to Arnie's late husband.
O2. Risk [Star Wars Sequels, Poe/Finn/Rey, 100 words, General]
Poe never feels more alive than when he is flying.
O3. Island [Marvel, Jessica Drew, 100 words, Teen and Up]
Jessica just wanted a nice vacation but villains mess it up.
O4. Father [Shadowhunters, Izzy & Maryse & Robert, 100 words, General]
Isabelle used to love her father.
O5. Passage [Star Wars Sequels, Poe/Finn/Rey, 100 words, General]
BB-8 leads Rey to Finn and Poe.
#puzzles2023writingbingo#my fic#marvel fanfiction#star wars fanfiction#dc fanfiction#shadowhunters fanfiction#knives out fanfiction#merlin bbc fanfiction#stevesharon#emma frost x steve rogers#defending jacob fanfiction#lightyear fanfiction#stevesharonbucky#bishlova#clintasha#merthur#poefinnrey
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Caught Up in Your Trap
Pairing: dark!Andy Barber x f!reader
Word Count: 5.4k
Summary: You spend your first day in your new home. Part of the Trapped AU.
Warnings: Dark elements, kidnapping, human trafficking, drugging, training, punishment, isolation, injury, forced intimacy - Just trust me when I say that this is dark. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
Masterlist
A/N: Oh my god, you guys. Uh, happy sin day, I guess?? 🤣 Because I am apparently incapable of just leaving a one-shot alone, this is a prequel to I Don't Want a Lot for Christmas spurred by some unhinged 4 AM thots. It is definitely the darkest thing I've written so far. Whoops.
Big thanks as always to @paperweight91 who was not only the fantastic sounding board she always is, and let me ramble on about all my research into furnaces of all things but also helped me figure out the title for both this fic and the greater AU it's now a part of (🤦🏻♀️ Seriously, Kris, just stop!). Hat tip to Bruce Springsteen for both, as well. I'm sure he'd be thrilled. 😂
Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. Even if it's just screeching at me. As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜
Andy pulled up at the address he’d been given, more surprised than he should have been that it was an abandoned warehouse. Of course, this sort of deal would be completed there. He should have known from the sorts of channels he’d had to go through to set it up. Connections left over from his days in the DA’s office. Well, that wasn’t the side of the law he was on anymore.
He walked into the large open space that made up most of the building to find a man standing in the middle of a few folding chairs. He had a neatly trimmed mustache and was wearing sharp but tight clothing. He wasn’t who caught Andy’s attention, though. No, that was you, slumped over in one of the chairs, wearing the clothes you must have been taken in. Even like this, he could tell your pictures hadn’t done you justice. You were absolutely perfect. Or you would be, once he was done.
“Barber!” the man called out, a satisfied smirk raising his mustache. “How nice of you to join us!”
“Hansen,” Andy answered evenly. He nodded at you, “She ok?”
“Oh, she’s fine. Just on enough horse tranqs to move her across the country without her realizing it. She’ll only be out for another day or so.”
Andy walked over to you. “I’m sure you don’t mind if I check for myself. With the amount of money I’m paying you.” Hansen gestured for him to go ahead, so he placed a gentle hand on the pulse in your neck, pleased to feel that it was strong and steady. He took a step back and opened the untraceable banking app on his phone. He clicked the transfer button, moving an ungodly amount of money from his numbered account in the Caymans to the account Lloyd had given him. “Alright,” he said, “the money’s in your account.”
The other man snapped his fingers and someone appeared out of the shadows, holding a tablet. “And I’m sure you don’t mind,” Hansen said as the new man tapped his screen, “if I check for myself. With the amount of work I’ve done for you.”
They all waited in tense silence for the confirmation of the transfer to come through. Andy couldn’t take his eyes off you, eager to finally get you home. After everything he’d been through, this was what he deserved. The perfect wife, the perfect family, the perfect life. And he was going to do it right this time, taking full control until he had exactly what he wanted. Nothing left to chance. It was costing him a pretty penny, but it was worth it.
The man with the tablet nodded at Hansen, who clapped his hands together. “Alright!” he said. “Let’s get this done. My men will get her settled in your car while we finish up.” Two more men came out from the edge of the room and started to put their hands on you. Andy couldn’t help the growl that came out of him. Hansen laughed. “Don’t worry, Mr. ADA, they won’t hurt your precious new wife. You have my word.”
Andy gave a hesitant nod, as they carried you out of the warehouse, clicking the unlock button on his car fob so that they could get you settled. He didn’t take his eyes off you until you were gone.
Hansen reached down and picked up a thick folder. “Everything you’ll need is in here. Everything for her new identity, all in order, all immaculate. Marriage license. Anything from her old life you might need. Although I’d get what you need from those quickly and then burn them.”
Andy took the folder and briefly paged through it. New birth certificate, social security card, IDs, passport. Everything he’d need to start your new life. He put the folder in his briefcase. “Thank you. Anything else?”
Hansen smirked again. “Eager to get started?” He leered in the direction you’d disappeared. “Can’t say I blame you.”
Andy cleared his throat, not appreciating the way Hansen was talking about what was his. “Yes, I would like to get us both home. Are we done here?”
“Sure sure. You have a good time now,” he smirked.
Andy gave him a curt nod and then exited in the direction Hansen’s men had taken you. There was no sign of them by his car, but you were laid out across the backseat. He opened the door and leaned in to brush a gentle finger across your cheek. He wouldn’t be able to relax until you were secured inside his home. It was so close now.
This wasn’t your room. You’d woken up some time ago (you couldn’t say how long ago exactly. There were no clocks, no windows) in the most comfortable bed you’d ever felt. You thought it might swallow you up, it was so soft. Luxurious. The whole room was that way. Beautiful. Rich. You were dressed in a satin nightgown that wasn’t at all like anything you owned. You tried very hard not to think about the fact that someone must have changed you. The door was locked from the outside, a small keypad right under the doorknob. You tried banging on the door. Yelling for someone. Nothing. A quick exploration of the room hadn’t yielded anything either – the two other doors were also locked, a dresser held only men’s clothing. So you’d spent the last who knows how long just laying in the bed, trying not to panic or cry. You weren’t very successful at either.
The most disturbing thing you’d discovered since you’d woken up here was the set of rings on your left hand. One featured a large diamond, the other was a simpler band filled with comparatively tiny diamonds. The bands were fused together like you remembered your mom’s engagement and wedding rings being. It took a long time to normalize your breathing after that discovery.
Just as you were about to drift asleep again, for want of anything else to do, you heard a few soft beeps, the lock click, and the doorknob move. You leaped up and huddled in the far corner of the room between the wall and the bed, holding a pillow in front of you. There was nothing else in the room to use to defend yourself. Even the lamps were bolted down – you’d checked.
The door slowly opened and a man walked in. He was tall, over 6 feet, and broad. He had dark, soft-looking hair, and a well-kept beard. He wore a gray cotton tee and jeans. If your adrenaline hadn’t been spiking, you would have found him so handsome. But as it was, you pushed yourself further into the corner.
He was carrying a tray, which he set down on one of the nightstands. From your vantage point, you could see a glass of water and a bowl. You weren’t feeling inclined to take anything from this man.
Your eyes cautiously tracked him as he came around to the foot of the bed. “How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice deep but gentle.
You didn’t say anything, just kept watching him. He leveled you with a stern look that sent a chill down your spine. His voice was much more rigid when he said, “I expect an answer when I ask a question, sweetheart.”
You ignored him again, instead asking, “Who are you?”
He took a deep breath, flexing both hands. Extreme irritation passed over his face before it was replaced with a practiced calm. He sat at the foot of the bed and patted the space next to him. “Come sit,” he said. You didn’t move. “Now,” he growled. Something in his tone made it clear, not only that he would move you himself if he had to, but even more so, that you didn’t want it to come to that. You got up and sat on the far edge of the bed. He reached over and grabbed your arm hard, dragging you into his side. You cried out but he shushed you. “Alright,” he said, “I will answer your question once you answer mine. How are you feeling?”
This was the most scared you’d ever been. You had to take a few deep breaths before you were able to say. “I have a headache and I’m a little nauseous. And I’m very scared.”
He gently took your hand in his and cooed at you. “That’d be the drugs they used to knock you out. You’ll feel better when they’re completely out of your system. Eating will help. You can have some soup once we’re done talking.” He paused, for what you didn’t know. You didn’t say anything. He smiled. “You can ask your question now. Good girl waiting for permission.”
Your head swung to look at him. That hadn’t been what you were doing. Had it? You were woozy and scared and just trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. That was most important, so you let his comment go and repeated your question. “Who are you?”
He squeezed your hand. “I’m your husband, sweetheart. My name is Andy.”
That was the answer you’d been terrified of since you’d seen the rings on your finger. He was fucking crazy. He had to be. The best you could do right now was to get as much information out of him as you could. “And where are we? Is this your house?” You were trying to keep your voice steady, but you could hear the tremor in it.
“This is our house, sweetheart. Just outside Boston.”
Your eyes widened and your heart rate picked up in panic. “Boston?? No– That’s– How did I get here?!” This was even worse than you thought. You were nowhere near home, nowhere near anything familiar.
He just looked at you for a moment with narrowed eyes. Then he nodded and said, “Ok, I’m going to be honest and explain it to you, because I think it will help you understand your place here. But in the future, you need to know that I don’t appreciate having to explain myself. Good wives don’t question their husband's actions. Now, since I’m going out of my way to make this clear for you, I expect you to sit quietly and listen. Can you do that for me?”
You clenched your hands into fists, wanting to rage at him for how he was speaking to you like a child, but you knew you needed this information. You needed everything you could get if you were going to get out of here, so you tried to control your breathing and nodded.
He looked at you like he wanted to scold you for something, but then visibly changed his mind and began. “I’ve had a hard life, the last few years especially, I’ve been through a lot. Things haven’t turned out the way they were supposed to. I wanted a family. I thought I had one, but– It wasn’t how it was supposed to be, and then I lost even that. I wanted to try again, but I couldn’t put in all that effort without a guarantee that I wouldn’t wind up with nothing again.
“I’m a lawyer. I used to work as an ADA and now I’m in defense. In both jobs, I’ve made a lot of connections with people from different walks of life. Through that, I found a man who provides a service – if you let him know what you’re looking for, he’ll find you a person who fills those needs. So I told him that I was looking for someone to build a family with, a good wife. He presented me with a few options, and I chose you. For a hefty price, his men picked you up and brought you here. They also put together all new paperwork for you, a whole new identity. The old you doesn’t exist anymore, do you understand? You’re Mrs. Barber now, property of your husband. I bought and paid for you. I own you, every part of you.”
You saw his hand start to move toward your thigh and you jumped up, quickly pressing yourself against the wall. You just stared at him for a moment and then the panic truly hit you, but this time, it was accompanied by blinding anger. “That’s human trafficking, you complete fucking psycho! The fuck is wrong with you?!” Once you’d started screaming, you couldn’t stop. “You can’t just buy a wife, you fucking cuck! I’m a person! People are going to look for me!” He stood up and came at you and you swung out with your fists, your nails, your knees, whatever you fucking could. You connected a few times, drew a grunt from him before he somehow pinned your wrists behind your back. You screamed as loud as you could, but it did nothing.
He frog-marched you out of the room as he said, “I was hoping we wouldn’t have to do this so soon, but you need a timeout, honey. Some time to calm down in the quiet room, and then we can try again and go over the rules. You just need some time to think by yourself.”
You tried to pay attention as he pushed you through what looked like a little apartment: a living room, a kitchenette. He stopped at an innocuous-looking door with a keypad on it, just like the one in the bedroom. He turned you away so you couldn’t see as he entered the code, one hand still keeping your wrists in a bruising grip. Before you’d even realized he’d opened the door, he was shoving you into the room so hard you briefly left the ground. The door slammed shut behind you. You hit the floor hard and groaned. You stumbled up onto your hands and knees. You heard another beep, then the grinding of a lock. Then nothing.
The room was pitch black. You weren’t even sure where the door was now, as there wasn’t any light coming through the cracks. You crawled around, trying to get an idea of the space. It was small and empty as far as you could tell. But there was a low rumbling noise that seemed to fill the room. You couldn’t pinpoint the source just from listening, it felt like it was coming from everywhere. The floor under your hands was bare, concrete. Your hands brushed through cobwebs and other detritus you couldn’t see. You cautiously held a hand out as you continued to try to map out the room, terrified you’d smack your face right into the wall. It made contact with something hot and sharp. You pulled it back with a hiss, pain radiating through your palm. You felt the first few wet drops. Shit. You were bleeding. You’d cut yourself. Fuck. “Hey!” you called out as loud as you could. There was no answer. “Hey!” you tried again, “I’m hurt! I’m bleeding!” No response. “WHAT THE FUCK?” You were screaming now. “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! LET ME OUT!” Nothing. God, this room was already lightproof, maybe it was soundproof, too. He wouldn’t be able to hear you, wouldn’t know you were hurt. You couldn’t tell how badly you’d cut your hand so you raised it above your head, hoping that might at least slow down the bleeding. It was dirty you were sure. God, how long did it take for cuts to get infected? You hoped you wouldn’t find out. You didn’t even know what you’d cut it on. What if it was rusty? Shit, when was your last tetanus booster? You couldn’t remember exactly. Fuck. You really didn’t want to die from tetanus in some random basement in Massachusetts. A tear rolled down your cheek. He couldn’t leave you in here too long, could he? No. He would come get you soon.
You had no idea how long you’d been sitting in the dark, your knees pulled up to your chest, one arm wrapped around them, the other still held in the air. Your shoulder was so sore, but you were too worried to lower your hand. You wished you could see the cut, know exactly how bad it was. You wished you knew how much time had passed. With no frame of reference, no external indicators, you were afraid you’d lost the ability to tell the difference between hours and minutes. It’d been hours. It had to have been hours. How long was he going to leave you here? He had to come back soon. He had to. You took some perverse comfort in the fact that he’d spent a lot of money on you. That had to mean that he wouldn’t just leave you here. He’d want a return on his investment. You tried to ignore the chills that thought gave you.
You’d been crying on and off. It made you feel pathetic but what else were you supposed to do? The panic, too, ebbed and flowed. You’d been trying to keep your breathing even, trying to ignore how small the space was, how dirty, how dark. Deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. It wasn’t doing much to calm you, but at least it gave you something to focus on.
Just as a fresh wave of tears overtook you, a blinding light came in, directly opposite you. You squinted and raised your uninjured hand in front of your eyes, but that didn’t do much to help.
“Oh sweetheart,” Andy’s voice cooed, before gently lifting you by your arms and herding you out. He half-carried you through the finished part of the basement while your eyes continued to adjust. Before you knew it, you were back in the bedroom you’d started in. He gently sat you down on the edge of the bed and crouched in front of you. You felt dazed. The room was too bright. You didn’t know how you could keep breaking the record for the most scared you’d ever been. There had to be a ceiling, a limit. You’d hit it soon, wouldn’t you?
You still had your hand raised and cradled to your chest. Andy touched your wrist and you flinched. He raised an eyebrow in question and you whispered, “I got hurt.” He sighed and gently tugged at your wrist again. This time you let him guide your arm down, moving your hand so you both could see it. It was a little grimy and definitely red, slightly swollen maybe. There was a little dried blood, but not much. The cut was so much more shallow than you’d imagined when you were trapped in that room alone. You felt incredibly foolish. You’d thought you were going to lose your hand over a glorified paper cut.
Andy carefully moved his thumb over a raised patch under the cut that you now realized was a minor burn. “Did you touch the furnace?” The furnace – that’s what’d been making that noise. That’s what you’d cut yourself on. That’s where he’d thrown you. What the fuck? You were lucky you hadn’t hurt yourself even worse. You looked up from your hand to see him frowning at you. “Why would you do that? Sweetheart, you have to be more careful. That was a very stupid thing to do.” He got up and walked into the ensuite, opening a cabinet under the sink.
Was he seriously scolding you for getting hurt in a dangerous room he’d locked you in?? The rage from earlier was starting to return, but it was still tempered by your fear. You did your best to keep your voice even when you replied, “It was completely dark in there. I couldn’t see anything.” A little growl came through your words, but it wasn’t anything compared to what you were actually feeling.
He came back holding a small first-aid kit. “Well then that’s a good reason to keep your hands to yourself, isn’t it?” He sat down and opened the kit, pulling out a few wipes and beginning to somewhat roughly clean your hand. “Sweetheart, I’m here to take care of you. That’s my job as your husband. But I need you to be a good girl and not put yourself in harm’s way.”
“You threw me in there!” you said, your voice starting to get louder, despite your best efforts to keep calm.
“Because you were bad and needed a time-out!” he yelled back at you. He threw the dirty wipes into the trashcan beside the bed and took a deep breath, visibly calming himself. He grabbed an ointment from the kit and began applying it to your hand. “That’s why we’re going to talk about rules now. They’re there to keep you safe and both of us happy. When you don’t follow them, something like this can happen.”
You didn’t say anything. You had to be smart if you were ever going to get out of here and antagonizing him wasn’t smart. He didn’t seem to expect a response anyway as he just silently placed a bandage on your hand and then got up and put the kit away. He came back and sat right next to you, turning so he could look into your eyes. You tried to turn your head away, but he grabbed your chin and forced eye contact.
“Alright,” he said, his tone already so fucking patronizing. “A good thing that came out of your little tantrum is that now we know the areas we need to focus on most for improvement – manners, respect, and attitude. I did some thinking during your quiet time too, and I’ve adjusted your training schedule to focus on these things. It’ll be good for both of us.”
What the actual fucking fuck? “Training schedule?” was all you managed to get out.
Andy nodded. “I’m sure you’ve figured out that we’re in the basement right now. I have a beautiful big house upstairs that I can’t wait to show you. But you’re going to have to earn it first, prove to me that you know how to be good, that I can trust you before we can go upstairs. That’s what the training will do. I’m going to teach you exactly how to be perfect for me, everything I want, and in return I’m going to give you a perfect life, so much better than what you had before. We’re going to be so happy together, sweetheart. I promise.
“Now, it’s going to take time. I understand that. And I’m going to be patient with you. I know what your life was like before. I know that you probably never expected that you’d ever get to have this. Change can be scary. Dreams coming true, it’s scary. But I’ll be here to guide you through it all. I’m going to give you everything and all I ask of you in return is that you be good for me. That’s all.”
You wanted to scream. You wanted to sob. What the hell was this? How could this man, this stranger, be so completely deranged? Be smart, you chanted to yourself. Be smart be smart be smart. And if you opened your mouth now, you knew exactly what would come out. So you kept it shut and let him continue.
“So first, let’s talk about your tantrum. I don’t appreciate being spoken to that way. The language and the names, it’s unacceptable. So, no swearing going forward. And I think a good rule for you while we’re downstairs will be for you to address me as Sir. Once we’ve moved upstairs, you’ll be allowed to call me Andy, but whenever we’re down here, it’s Sir. Do you understand?” He looked at you expectantly. You clenched your jaw and nodded. “I expect a verbal response when I speak to you, sweetheart.”
“Yes,” you gritted out. He raised an eyebrow at you and his gaze hardened. It took you a moment to realize your mistake. “Yes, sir,” you corrected yourself.
“Very good. As your husband, I expect you to give me the respect I deserve. That’s something we’ll work on. It’s very important that you don’t question me. I know what’s best for you and you need to trust that I will give you whatever information you need to have. If I haven’t told you something, it’s because you don’t need to know, ok?”
He paused again. What kind of Stepford hell was this? What had you done to deserve this? You took a deep breath. Then another. And another. Then, finally, you were able to force out a “Yes, sir.”
He smiled. “You’re so smart, sweetheart. You’ll be upstairs in no time. Now, you’ll start learning your routine tomorrow. I’ve taken some time off work for our honeymoon, so I’ll have plenty of time to get you settled and acclimated. We’ll go over wardrobe and makeup requirements in the morning too. Now,” he slapped his thighs and stood up, “your soup from earlier went cold, so how about I go get you a fresh bowl while you take a quick shower and get all that dust and grime from the Quiet Room off you?”
You held back a grimace at him calling that room that, as he walked over to one of the other doors and unlocked it. He talked to you like you were a child. All of this was so fucked up. But a shower sounded incredible. You had no idea how long it’d been since you’d had one. So you just nodded and let out a quiet, “Yes, sir.”
He beamed at you. “Everything you’ll need is in the bathroom. I’ll be back in just a few minutes.”
You stood and waited til he was out the door, listening to the beeps and grinding locks once he was gone. Shit. You were really fucked. You went into the bathroom and closed the door behind you. There was no lock on the inside. Of course, there wasn’t.
You didn’t waste much time in the bathroom, desperate for a hot shower. You vaguely registered that the counter was stocked with all sorts of beauty aids – expensive lotions and serums like he’d bought out a department store beauty counter. The shower too, was equally well stocked. So much fancier than the Target sale items you usually stocked your bathroom with. But the shower felt incredible and that’s what you chose to focus on.
When you were finished, you came out of the shower to see that the bathroom door was open. You could hear Andy moving around in the bedroom. You shuddered and quickly wrapped a plush towel around yourself. There was a fresh nightgown waiting for you, soft pink, all silk and lace. You grimaced and wondered what you’d need to do to get a pair of sleep shorts and an old T-shirt to sleep in. Probably more than you were willing to do, if it was even possible. You dried off quickly and slipped the nightgown on.
When you exited the bathroom, he was sitting on the bed, the tray of food sitting next to him. There was a bowl of soup and a cup of water, along with a small plate with a few crackers. The dishes and utensils were all plastic. Nothing you could hurt him with. You sat down and watched him carefully as you lifted the tray onto your lap. He didn’t say anything so it must have been allowed. Your hand shook as you brought the first spoonful up to your lips. The soup was warm, not hot, certainly not scalding. Another hope dashed. Throwing it at him would only result in him getting wet. And angry. Not worth it.
As you ate, you realized just how hungry you actually were. The nausea from whatever drugs you’d had had covered it up, but you were starving. You barely even tasted the soup, you just needed to eat. God, how long had it been since you’d had food? You wouldn’t bother asking Andy. You knew he wouldn’t give you an answer.
After he watched you eat for a few minutes, he said, “What do you say, sweetheart?”
God, he used that word like it was your name. It made you want to scream. You swallowed down all your anger and a spoonful of soup before you said, “Thank you, sir.”
He gave you a satisfied smile. “See,” he said, “I knew you had good manners.”
You shoved the spoon into your mouth to prevent any sort of comeback. This fucking asshole. Luckily he let you eat the rest of your meal in peace. But he never took his eyes off you.
Once you were done, Andy put the tray on the dresser and then declared it bedtime. You watched him cautiously, as he went to the dresser and took out a pair of boxers and a cotton tee. He changed right in the middle of the room and you turned your head away. You caught flashes of skin, that if he’d been anyone else, in any other circumstances, would have had you drooling. It was becoming hard to breathe again. What else would he demand from you tonight?
You chanced a glance back up at him to find him changed and staring at you. You swallowed nervously. “Come here,” he said firmly, holding his hand out to you. You slowly, so slowly, made your way to him. As soon as you were in reach, he grabbed your elbow and pulled you the rest of the way in so that you were nestled into his chest. “I know,” he said, stroking one hand down your back, “that we’re both thinking about our first time together, but I’d like to wait.” He ran the fingers of his other hand down the strap of your nightgown, slipping onto your bare skin. “Give you a chance to get fully adjusted. Give us both a chance to get to know each other.” His voice slipped down an octave as his fingers traveled across your chest. Your body bowed to get away from him, but he didn’t seem to notice or care. “Give us a chance to enjoy each other.” His breath hitched as his hand traveled down to your breast, the other hand on your back had stilled, holding you close, stopping you from getting away. He moved his head as close as he could to yours and whispered, “I want it to be special.” Then, before you could try to back away, he was kissing you. It was firm and demanding, giving you no option but to let it happen. He angled his growing erection into your thigh, and with the way he was holding you, you couldn’t lean away from it. His tongue forced its way into your mouth and you couldn’t help the way you whimpered. It felt like it might go on forever, when he finally pulled back, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m so happy you’re mine,” he whispered.
And then he was out of your space, leaving you trying to breathe again, alone in the middle of the room, as he climbed into the bed. You just stood there, unsure of what to do, your lips still tingling. Once he was settled on the side of the bed closest to the door, he called your name. “Come to bed now,” he said, and there was no mistaking it for anything other than an order. You ducked your head and climbed onto the bed, terrified of what might come next, but also desperate for sleep. This day had left you exhausted and confused and scared and so angry. It was all too much.
You tried to lie down as close to the edge as you could, but he pulled you in close so that your back was flush to his front, his arm thrown over your waist. “I'm so proud of you,” he whispered into your hair, “getting through your first day without having to go to the punishment room.”
Your mouth went completely dry. A room you hadn’t been to. Somewhere worse than the quiet room. “What's–” your tongue struggled to form the words. You took a breath and tried again. “What's the punishment room?” You caught yourself at the last minute and added a quiet “Sir.”
His hand caressed your side. “You keep being my good girl and you won't have to find out.”
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#dark andy barber#andy barber x reader#andy barber x you#andy barber x female reader#defending jacob#dark fic#dark!andy barber#dark!fic#reader insert#chris evans fanfiction#ce characters#fanfic#trapped au#kris wrote something
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summary. | Mr. Barber’s feelings for his cleaner are more than professional.
prompts. | Andy Barber + Yandere + “Think an old man like me can keep up?” + conditioning/grooming, requested by @baalsgurl1913!
pairing. | Dark/Yandere!Andy Barber x female!reader.
warnings. | NON/DUBCON (mostly dubious consent), abuse of power, stalking, yandere, obsession, spying, orgasm (f), large age gap (reader is legal), grooming/conditioning, gaslighting/manipulation, and more. 18+ MINORS DNI!
author’s note. | this is a part of my Dark Concepts (2023) request form. thank you for taking part in this event! please enjoy and don’t forget to reblog. MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY! taglist: @hansensfics
You’ve always had a soft spot for Mr. Barber—and it seemed he had one for you, too.
You would clean the Barbers’ house every now and then when Andy and Laurie’s jobs made them too busy, and their son couldn’t bother to learn how to help out. You didn’t mind it. They paid a good amount and were always so kind to you.
But that was before it happened. And now Mr. Barber hires you because he’s grief-stricken, and you’ve known him for so long.
It’s not hard to tidy up behind him. He has manners, and you can’t help but feel bad for him. Andy’s entire life fell apart, and everyone watched in amusement.
Everyone except for you. No, you would never. You’re a good girl; he knows it. So sweet with your patterned dresses and adorable sweaters. You tell him ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ for every little thing, giving him those eyes that make him want to wreck you on the spot.
It really isn’t his fault that he watches you outside your work hours. He has to keep you safe anyway—don’t you know there are dirty criminals on every corner? And, plus, you made him do this. You’re too pure, too wholesome—and all his. Even though you don’t know it yet.
“That’s it for today, sir. Is there anything else you need?” you hum, light jacket on your shoulders with your purse on the chair since you just polished the countertops. “Actually, there is something else you could do for me,” Andy says, grunting as he stands up from his spot on the couch.
He stayed there the entire time, making sure you did your job well. You didn’t mind.
“Oh, what is it?” you ask, already shrugging your windbreaker off. “Have a drink with me?” he offers, walking to the fridge. He grabs a beer for himself and a coke for you, knowing that you wouldn’t want to drive home with alcohol in your system. But you don’t have to worry. Not anymore, at least.
“Er, thank you. You’re always so kind to me, sir,” you tell him, sitting down on the couch. He joins you, his thigh touching yours. You involuntarily try to make yourself smaller, nervously giggling at the contact. When you look up at the much older man, he looks different. Pained, almost, with dark eyes and a clenched jaw. Is he upset? Did you do something wrong? Worry gnaws at you.
Andy looks down at you and remembers when you first started working for him. It was a warmer day than usual, and he had come home early at Laurie’s request. She was worried a young thing like you—who had turned eighteen a few months prior—would steal something valuable from the house.
She didn’t know that the only priceless thing had become you, and the worth of their home would decrease drastically when you weren’t there.
You take a sip of your chilled drink, resisting the urge to chug it after all your hard work.
Andy places a hand on your thigh, but you don’t think much of it. He’s done this before, especially when he feels you’ve been exceptionally good that day.
“Y’know, honey… I really appreciate you coming here so often,” he starts, patting your leg. You smile, slightly embarrassed by the attention. “Really. I mean, you’ve put up with me for so long—through everything…”
You nod sympathetically, knowing what he’s referring to.
“I just feel like I owe you. More than a raise or a gift,” Andy admits, and you start shaking your head. “No sir, really. I’m fine—thank you for everything. I already have so much,” you say. He quirks an eyebrow.
“Do you?” he asks, puzzling you. You take a larger gulp of the Coke. “Yeah…”
“Don’t lie, sweetie. I know you don’t. Going back to that little matchbox of yours? With your slob of a roommate waiting for you to clean her messes?” he scoffs, and your eyebrows furrow in confusion. “What do you mean, sir?” you question.
“You know what I mean. I’ve seen it all, honey. I can give you so much more—haven’t I already?” he reasons, and it’s only when you feel a chill of air that you realize that your dress has been lifted up, and he can see your underwear. Oddly, you don’t fight him. It’s Mr. Barber—kind, sweet Mr. Barber, who cracks dad jokes and isn’t afraid to order pizza nearly daily. He’s been touchy before, but you’ve never paid any mind to it. Maybe that’s how he shows love.
“And please, call me Andy. You’ll have to, eventually,” he says, inching his fingers closer to your core. Your breathing gets heavy from nerves and desire. “I– I just don’t get it, sir—I mean, Andy. I’m a little scared?…” you confess, and he coos at you.
“That’s alright, sweetie. I’m here for you. Don’t you know how much I love you? I would never hurt you.”
His words make you dizzy. You feel his large, warm hand dip into your panties, and you let out an exhale. You’ve got a vice-like grip on the glass bottle he gave you, but it nearly slips when Andy finds your clit with ease.
“Now, I know you’re young and all…” he starts, rubbing slow circles on your nub. He can feel your wetness, and it takes all of him to not pounce on you right then. You gasp from the pressure, and your free hand reaches down to grab his wrist, but you don’t push him away. Instead, you keep him there as if he has threatened to pull his hand away and leave you a writhing mess on his couch. “Think an old man like me can keep up?” he asks, and your eyes flash to his face. He’s got mild wrinkles and a slew of greys peppered into his hair and beard. You’ve always admired the look, even though he was married. “It’s been a while, but I can go a few rounds. You get me so hard, honey.”
You quickly come undone on your boss’ fingers, and he drinks in the sight, even though it certainly isn’t the first time he’s seen you have an orgasm. And it will never be the last.
#sabs concepts#andy barber#defending jacob#dark#dark!#drabble#requests#andy barber x reader#dark andy barber#andy barber x you#andy barber x female reader#andy barber fanfiction#andy barber x y/n#dark!andy barber#dark!andy barber x reader#au#sab’s dark concepts (2023)#chris evans
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〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉
event | kinkmas 2023
prompt | massage
pairing | massage therapist!andy barber x reader
warnings | andy’s soooo soft and sweet <3. err, some sort of violation of massage therapy ethics lol. me kind of not knowing how a massage works. my shameless hand kink. fingering. praising/encouragement. squirting. he cleans her up after :)
word count | 897
an | big thankyou to @starksbabie for letting me ask weird questions about massage practices lol. sorry if this still didn’t seem realistic, i’ve never had a massage before 😭
okay but 😳 getting a massage from andy? 😏
he’s a professional ofc!! recommended to you by a friend who’s noticed how tense and stressed you’ve been lately. “he’s the best, those hands are magic!”
he’s got a little private office built off of his home. he greets you when you arrive, guiding you back into the private room with the table. “go ahead and undress for me, honey. hop up and lay on your back when you’re ready; you can cover yourself with the sheet if you like.” he gives you a few minutes of privacy to let you do as he instructed. all you can think about is how handsome he is 🥲 your friend should’ve warned you this guy’s a total dilf lol
he comes back in and dims the lights, making his outline just barely visible against the few dull lamps stationed around the room. washes his hands at the sink in the corner before coming to stand at your side, pumping some oil onto his large hands. he can see you’re trembling a little 🥺
“easy sweetheart, just relax. i’ll be gentle, i promise.” his voice is so soothing and warm, it’s hard not to trust him
he starts things out innocent enough, moving the sheet and working your calves and around your knees. murmuring soothing words as he notes your jumpiness, “deep breaths, good.” “that feel okay?” “a little tight here, honey. let’s see if we can help with that-” his hands are so strong yet gentle 💕
he gradually works his way up to your thighs. the outsides first, then the tops. you try your best to fight off any inappropriate thoughts or feelings, but there’s just something about his dark figure towering over you, his massive hands, his low, soothing voice…
“gonna open up your legs a bit, princess. you’ve got some tightness here,” you jump as his long fingers are trailing to the insides of your thighs. he opens them just a few inches at first, guiding your knees to fall apart. you’re glad the room is so dark; you’re sure you’re making the most humiliating faces at this point 🥲 he works at your sore inner thighs as you try to ignore the fact that your bare pussy is now on display for his trained eyes and hands
he makes his way up to the tender space where your legs meet your groin. a whimper escapes your lips, heat rushing to your cheeks
he pauses. “sweetheart.” his voice is so dangerously low, with just a hint of tentativeness. he takes a deep breath, exhaling audibly before continuing. “i wanna help you, baby. will you let me?” his hands are guiding your knees further apart, hooking them over each side of the table to let your calves dangle down towards the floor.
you close your eyes, trying not to let your voice tremble as you give a soft, “mhm,” nodding your head. it’s all the answer he needs
he pumps some more oil onto his hands, warming them gently for a few moments before returning to the side of the table. you can just barely see his form leaning down a bit to get as good of a view as he can. his hands are careful as they land on either side of your needy cunt. you don’t get to see the smile spreading across his face as he catches a glimpse of your wetness, shining subtly in the darkness
he uses one large hand to part your pussy lips, the other dragging a few fingers up through your puddle. he hums in approval as your body jerks sensitively. he strokes the pads of his fingers broadly over your clit for a few moments, paying attention to how your body responds. when your knees shake and your little feet kick gently, he moves to press two fingers up into your soaking hole as the others continue on your burning button
“keep breathing for me, baby. that feel good?” you offer a mumbled confirmation, your head nodding almost desperately as his strong digits stretch you out. the sensation of fullness almost does you in alone- and then he starts pumping his fingers into you, curling them ever-so-slightly up to reach your sweet spot
you let out some mixture between a moan and a cry, your hips bucking up instinctively to match his pace. “good, that’s good, honey. keep going for me, that’s it…” he forces your mound back with his fingers, swirling his thumb quicker over your hardened nub. “come on, baby. give it to me, almost there…”
you come right on his fingers with a string of jumbled cries. “goood,” he croons, keeping up his pace to coax your orgasm out of you. he smiles as he feels you squirting out against his hands before things finally begin to ease up
he slows to a gentle stop, reaching for a towel with one hand as he continues stroking your inner thigh with the other. after wiping off the mess you made from his fingers, he gently moves to find something to clean you off with, turning the lights up a little to make the room more visible
“feeling better?” he asks when he returns to your side. you just nod pathetically, a sweet look of humiliation settling on your face as he gets to cleaning you up 😌
#eun's writing#kinkmas 2023#andy barber#andy barber fanfiction#andy barber smut#andy barber x reader#andy barber x y/n#andy barber x you#andy barber one shot#andy barber imagine#andy barber drabble#andy barber blurb#andy barber headcanon#defending jacob#defending jacob fanfiction#chris evans#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans smut
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He can't just waltz in here like everything is good! Even though I look like that and prepared a meal, I'm still a lil upset. He may look good but things have to be fixed! But I got him wrapped around my finger😌. Not him not letting me finish the salad🥴. What eventful Valentine's Day😌. Lemme go on upstairs and change. OMG!! A puppy???😭. A perfect day! Amazing job as always!!!👍🏾🙌🏾👏🏾💚!!
PUPPY LOVE
Pairing: Andy Barber x Reader
Word Count: 1.5 K
Warnings: 18+ As always, MINORS DNI, Not Beta’d. All mistakes my own. Valentine shoes and surprises, lovers quarrel, angst, longing, begging, kitchen sex, pleasurable pain, nipple play (f receiving) fingering, raw sex, p in v, oral sex (f receiving) Daddy kink.
A/N: Based on this ask. Based on my Candy Hearts Valentine Prompt List found Here. Hope you like it @flordeamatista 💕
I no longer operate a taglist. Follow @rampitupandread to be notified when I post.
I Do NOT consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
You’d insisted on making dinner yourself, telling Andy that you would wear the heels that he couldn’t resist presenting you this morning after you gave him his holiday deep throat special.
But by the time he’d left, both of you were tense again after your request and his refusal. A small squabble that ruined the holiday mood. He was adamant and you were out of the practice of hearing him say no.
Keep reading
#fic rec#andy barber x black!reader#boyfriend!andy#andy barber fanfiction#defending jacob fanfiction#chris evans fanfiction#valentine’s day fanfiction
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Turning A Dream Into Reality
~~
The final installment to ‘You’ve Always Been My Dream’
Part 1, Part 2
~~
When I tell y’all that my personal life has been INSANE, that’s putting it nicely. I’m so sorry this took so long, but I’m so happy to finally be posting this! I love this chapter so much, and I hope you all enjoy it! Also, for those of you who are still upset with me for the ending of that Lloyd story, I hope this makes up for it.
Thank you to @emerald-evans for this amazing mood board! I love it so much and I love you!
Word Count: 44,888 (listen, you’ll understand why when you read it)
Warnings: SMUT (18+, MINORS DNI), Fluff, Angst, Arguing, Daddy Kink, Family Drama, Swearing, Anxiety, Public Arguing...I’m sure I missed something, but this is truly mainly fluff
Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: All of you, all of me
Summary: As everything starts to come to light, in a less than ideal way, you start worry that maybe it’ll be too much for Andy. However, Andy is willing to do whatever it takes to show you that he’s all in.
I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.
~~
“What the fuck, Y/N?! You fucking looked me in the eyes-”
“I know, Jake. I know and I’m sorry,” you apologize for what feels like the millionth time.
You all have been in the kitchen for over an hour and it feels like you’re getting nowhere, but it’s not like you’re surprised. You already knew Jacob wasn’t going to handle it well, but him catching Andy filming you two while fucking? Any hopes of it going at all well went out the window after that.
“So, you’ve just been fucking my dad?!” Jacob exclaims as he finishes his third drink.
“I’m dating him, Jake.”
“Y/N-”
“Jacob, just hear me out-”
“It’s not enough for you to wreck every other family in Newton? You had to fuck with mine too?”
“JACOB!” both Sarah and Andy exclaim.
“No,” you sob, “he’s angry with me so just let him get it out.”
“Babe-” Andy starts.
“Jesus, can you not call her that?!” Jacob interrupts. “Can you not confirm that you two are an actual fucking couple?!”
Can the floor of your loft just swallow you whole?
“Is this why you were pushing so hard for my parents to breakup? So you could sink your claws into my dad?”
“You know that’s not it! Even before I came along, it wasn’t-”
“How long has this been going on? How long have you been sleeping with him?!”
“Jacob-”
“How long?!”
“ Dating him? Almost two years. In love with him? Three.”
“Goddammit, Y/N!”
“Jacob, please just calm down and-”
“How fucking stupid was I to trust you? To believe that you had my best interest at heart?”
“We were going to tell you! That’s what tonight was supposed to be about, but we got carried away and lost track of time...we tried, Jacob. We tried so hard to fight it and just walk away but-”
“You didn’t fucking try hard enough!”
“Jacob, please just sit down and hear me out-”
“Just fucking save it. Save your bullshit and go fuck yourself.”
“Jacob!” Andy snaps.
“Fuck you too,” he bites back towards Andy before turning his attention to Sarah, “I’m fucking leaving.”
And with that, he’s out the door.
“He’ll get over it,” Sarah promises both you and Andy before rushing after him.
Your tears start falling the second the door closes.
“It’s going to be ok, sweetheart. He just needs time,” Andy tries to reassure you as he wraps his arms around you.
“He hates me so much!”
“No, he’s just upset. He’s hurt and he feels betrayed, and he has a right to that. We lied to him and right now, it doesn’t matter that we did it for a good reason, it only matters that we lied. He won’t be mad forever and he will calm down and talk to us.”
“How are you so calm about this?!”
“Because I know my son. He loves you and when Jacob loves someone, he never stays mad at them. It might take him a while, but he comes around,” he sighs.
“I wanna go home.”
“Lets go, sweetheart,” Andy mumbles into your hair before kissing it.
In the weeks that follow, you’re basically useless. Besides going to work, you don’t do much of anything. You finally clear out your loft since there’s no reason for you to keep it anymore, you attempt to decorate the house but you just end up crying every time, and if you don’t have to, you don’t leave the bed. Sarah tries to talk to you, but all you can find yourself responding with one word answers, if you bother to respond at all.
Andy doesn’t complain at all. On the days when you’re too depressed to shower he bathes you himself, when you’re not in the mood to eat he only asks you to eat half a sandwich and drink water, and when you don’t get out of bed he stays right beside you.
If anything, it makes you feel worse because you can’t even begin to imagine how he feels. You want to be there for him, but you can barely get the hell out of bed for work.
But you need to be there for him. You love him and you want to be there for him the way he’s always been there for you.
“I’m going to the grocery store, sweetheart. Do you want anything?” Andy asks as he walks into the bedroom.
“I’ll go with you,” you respond softly from under the covers, popping your head out just a little.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to-”
“I have to stop. I can’t keep moping around and waiting for him to call me. We have our own life to lead and...I have to get back to living. Let me shower and we’ll go, okay?” you smile weakly.
Andy walks over and kisses you softly on the forehead, “take as much time as you need, honey.”
While in the shower, you realize that this is going to be the first time you and Andy are going out in public as an official couple.
If you weren’t feeling a panic attack coming on before, you definitely are now.
“Are you okay?” Andy asks as you come out of the bathroom.
“I’m fine, I just realized...we’re going out in public together...as a couple.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s our first time,” you humorlessly chuckle as you throw your towel onto the bed and start to get dressed.
“Honey, if you’ve changed your mind-”
“I haven’t. I still...I want to go, it’s just a big realization, ya know?”
“Please don’t push yourself if you’re not ready.”
“Andy, I’m not ashamed of you or our relationship. I-”
“I know, sweetheart-”
“Just...just hear me out,” you breathe as you pull on your Pearl Jam shirt. “I love you so fucking much and sometimes, I really don’t think you realize just how much that is. I don’t want people to think less of you because you’re with me. I know you say you don’t care, but I do. I don’t want this relationship to be a secret anymore, I’m just...I don’t want us to go out and you hear everything they say, see the stares, and decide that it’s too much. Between Jacob and them...I wouldn’t blame you.”
“Y/N, I love you and I’m not going anywhere. I know it’s all just words to you, because a lot of people have said a lot of things to you and then have turned around and hurt you, so I know I have to show it. I have no problem doing that and I’ll wait as long as I need to. Fuck this entire town, fuck Laurie, and fuck everyone who has ever made you feel less than or undeserving. I’m not ashamed of you and I’m not ashamed of our love.”
You make your way over to him and wrap your arms around his neck, “I love you so much.”
He picks you up and kisses you deeply, and you wrap your legs around him. “I love you too, Y/N. I always will,” he breathes once you two break apart.
“I believe you, Andy...when you say the things you do...I believe you. It’s not just words to me...I’m still just getting used to all of this. I half expected you to leave after everything with Jacob, but you’ve been so fucking patient and loving. You’ve been amazing and I’ve been-”
“You’re processing, and that’s okay,” he quickly defends.
“You’ve needed me and-”
“You being here is more than enough. Your kisses, you holding me, you staying by my side...it’s more than enough.”
“You truly believe this is gonna work?”
“I know it will.”
He kisses you again and this time, you’re the one that deepens it as run your hands through his hair. He walks back a little and soon enough, he’s sitting on the bed and you’re grinding yourself against him.
“Sweetheart,” he breathes before he starts to trail kisses down your neck; his hands slowly make their way down to your ass and he grips it tight.
“Fuck!”
“I’ve missed you. Missed making you feel good.”
“Andy...Andy, we have to go,” you giggle.
“We can go later.”
“When we get back, I promise. I miss you too.”
“God, what the fuck am I gonna do with you?” he husks as he looks up at you.
“Love me,” you smile down at him.
You pick a random pair of shorts and pull on your low top Converse, before grabbing your phone and wallet. You look yourself over in the mirror and take a deep breath.
It won’t be so scary after you get the first time out of the way.
You give Andy a small smile as you make your way over to him and take his hand.
You can do this.
The entire ride (which really isn’t that long), you’re bouncing your leg nervously while holding his hand. You don’t mean to let your nerves get the best of you, but it’s not like you can exactly stop it. You’re not lying when you tell Andy you’re all in, but it just really fucking sucks when your life has been full of letdowns and disappointments. You feel terrible that there’s so much weight on Andy’s shoulders, but you truly are trying your best.
“I take it you didn’t make a list.”
“When do I ever make a list?” Andy smirks as he grabs a cart.
“That’s what I thought,” you laugh as you two make your way inside. “I feel like cooking tonight, so we can just split the bill-”
“No, I’ll cover it,” he counters as you two make your way down the produce isle.
“Andy-”
“We already split the bills, let me take care of the groceries this time, and you can cover it next time.”
“You are...annoying,” you grumble, grabbing a head of broccoli as he laughs.
“We could just open a Savings account together.”
“You trust me so much so fast?”
“It only took us forever to get here,” he shrugs, “we may as well just do what couples do.”
“Bite your tongue, Barber,” you giggle as you grab a plastic bag, “we need apples.”
“Please get green apples.”
“They’re too tart!”
“They taste better!”
“Andy, at your age-”
“Watch it.”
“Oh, you’re gonna get touchy about the age difference now?”
“You don’t have to bring it up while we’re grocery shopping.”
“That’s especially when I need to bring it up. Also, we need to get you vitamins. You’re running out.”
“Haven’t you been in bed depressed?”
“I’ve been snooping,” you smirks and and he bursts out laughing. “I have a feeling this little trip is about to get expensive.”
“Probably...shit,” Andy mutters as he looks ahead.
You follow his gaze and anxiety starts up all over again, “fuck. We are so bad at this.”
Laurie.
“Are you fucking serious?!” she exclaims, gaining more than a few looks. “Nothing’s going on?! Isn’t that what you told me?! You weren’t in love with her?!”
“Laurie, this isn’t time or the place,” Andy mutters, taking your hand in his.
“You’re a fucking piece of shit, Andy! Do you fucking...Jesus! You told me-”
“Back off,” you warn quietly.
“Excuse me?”
“Leave him alone, Laurie. He didn’t do this, you did. You cheated, you lied...you don’t get to attack him in the middle of the fucking grocery store because you’re mad that you fucked up.”
“You little bitch!”
“Back off, Laurie. I fucking mean it, this is your last warning.”
“Is that a threat?”
“It’s a fucking promise. Jacob’s told you enough stories so you know that I’m not fucking joking. I may be older now, but I still know how to throw a right hook.”
“This is what you left me for? A fucking violent whore?!” she scoffs in disbelief at Andy.
“We’ll talk about this another fucking time,” he all but growls before starting to push the cart and you both start walking off.
You feel her glare on you as you reach the end of the isle, and you turn around and cock your eyebrow.
If she really wants an all out brawl, you’re more than ready for it. In the end, all she does is flip you off before disappearing around the corner.
“Well that was fucking fun,” Andy mutters, “ what else do you need you from this isle?”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I can handle her and her wrath. I’ll go see her on Saturday and we’ll...we’ll talk it out. Jacob doesn’t need anymore shit to deal with.”
“Have you spoken to him recently?”
“Sort of. He asked me to come by for his birthday, so I guess that’s something.”
“That’s good!”
“I asked if it was okay that I bring you and he said he’s not sure.”
“No, don’t worry about me. I told you, his relationship with you is more important than my relationship with-”
“No, you’re apart of my life and that isn’t gonna change. He has to accept you at some point. He has to accept that we’re together.”
“Andy-”
“We are one,” he says sincerely as he stops and looks at you. “I love you and I’m with you.”
“Lets finish up, huh?” you smile as your eyes start to water.
He dips down and cups your face before kissing you deeply in front of everyone. “I love you, Y/N. I love you, I love you, I love you. I will always and forever love you.”
“I love you more than you’ll ever know,” you smile back with a small giggle.
Well, it’s out in the open for sure now.
As you two finish up shopping, both of you notice how much people are staring at the both of you. Andy senses your anxiety getting worse and he takes your hand in his.
“They don’t matter,” he tells you softly.
“The first time is always the hardest, right?”
“That would explain why the first time I filmed us, Jacob ruined it by bursting in, unannounced,” he mutters and you can’t stop the full bodied laugh that leaves your mouth.
You’re laughing so hard that your sides hurt, but you don’t care because it feels good. You spent so long moping, wallowing, and crying, and it just feels so damn good to smile. It feels so damn good to be happy, to feel joy instead of pain, it feels good to feel safe with the person you’re with, and it feels good to not have to hide.
It feels so damn to good to truly be in love.
“I hate you so much for making me laugh at such a shitty joke,” you breathe once you finally calm down, wiping your eyes as you finally turn your attention to Andy who is just looking at you with the softest smile. “What?”
“Lets finish this up and get home,” he chuckles, walking down the isle, quickly grabbing a bag of kettle chips.
“What?” you laugh as you follow behind him.
“I just love you so damn much.”
“Andy-”
“Lets get home,” he smiles at you.
You two make your way to the checkout isle, and while Andy pays for all of it, you can’t help but wonder if this is hows hes always been. Always so loving, open, honest, and genuine.
Always so loyal.
“Alright, I’ll get started on making dinner and-”
You’re cut off by Andy backing you into the kitchen and kissing you hard, hoisting you up and you instinctively wrap your legs around him.
“Andy...oh God, Andy! Stop, stop, stop! We have food that needs to go into the freezer! We finally your favorite ice cream!” you moan as he starts to bite and suck on your neck.
“Let it melt, I can go back and get more,” he growls as he starts towards the stairs.
“Andy!”
“Missed you so much, sweetheart. Hated not being able to satisfy you. Not getting lost in your love,” he husks, laying you down on the bed before taking his shirt off. “I just wanna get lost in you for a while,” he breathes as he starts to undo your shorts.
“You can do anything you want to me,” you whimper, biting your lip as he pulls off your shorts and gets on his knees.
His response is pulling your panties to the side and licking your soaked folds. He barely gives you a chance to prepare yourself before sliding two fingers into your soaked cunt.
“Fuck,” you sigh, arching your back and lulling your head back, gripping the sheets with one and his hair with the other.
“Look at you, so fucking beautiful,” he moans as he adds another finger.
“Missed... you so much, baby!”
“Yeah? You want me to pull you apart, sweetheart?”
“P-please, baby! I need it so much!”
As Andy’s head disappears between your legs and you feel his lips pulling on and massaging your clit, you close your eyes and find comfort in the fact that this is your life now.
Andy loves you as you are and for who you are. There’s no more hiding, no more guilt, and no more shame. It’s real and it’s forever.
“Jesus, Andy!” you mewl as you come apart for him.
“Been so long...needed to taste you.”
“Baby, please! I need to feel you!”
“Take your fucking shirt and bra off,” he demands as he gets up and takes his own shirt off, “I wanna fucking see all of you.”
You’re quick to take off your remaining clothes as he rips off your panties and for once, instead of feeling anxious or insecure, you only feel love and happiness as he looks you over.
“You’re mine, Y/N,” he declares as he thrusts himself inside of you.
“Fuck!”
“Mine and mine alone, I’m gonna love you forever,” he groans as he starts to move within you.
“Then show me, baby. Show me just how much I belong to you.”
You and Andy spend the next few hours getting lost in each other, ignoring your phones and the outside world. It doesn’t matter that Laurie knows and it doesn’t matter that Jacob hates you. All that matters is that you two have and are committed to each other.
It only matters that you two are insanely in love with one another.
“Fucking give it to me, sweet girl,” Andy moans as he fucks into you another orgasm.
“Too much!”
“I know you can take it, baby! I know you can give me one more...ahh shit!”
“ANDY!” you scream as you hit your climax, making a mess all his cock and the bed.
“Fuck, Y/N!” he groans as he spills his release inside of you.
As he rides out both your highs, you wrap your arms around him and press soft kisses onto his arm, running your fingers through hair, just relish the feel of him his love. When he finally comes down from his high, he softly collapses on you, resting his head on your chest and sighing in content.
This is heaven.
“I think we should adopt a dog,” you say after a moment, still running your fingers through his hair.
“What?” he laughs incredulously, looking up at you.
“Lets adopt a dog,” you repeat, looking down at him.
“You wanna get a dog?”
“Why not? You said you wanna have kids-”
“We don’t have if you don’t want to.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to, Atticus, I just feel like it’ll be good practice, for me anyway. You’ve already had a child.”
“Why do you think you need practice? You’ve been taking care of Jacob since you were 15.”
“That’s different,” you laugh. “I don’t know, it’s not like I had the best role models, and I’m scared to fuck it up. I figure that a dog is basically a child, and if I don’t fucking kill it, maybe I won’t be so bad at it.”
“I think you’ll make a terrific mom, but we can adopt a dog if you want,” he chuckles before kissing your shoulder, before propping himself up. “We can go to the shelter on Saturday, after I get back from my talk with Laurie.”
“Sounds good, where are you going?”
“To put the groceries away,” he laughs.
“I’ll go down with you,” you sigh as you sit up.
“You can stay up here, I know how to put groceries away,” he scoffs as he pulls on his boxer briefs.
“That’s debatable,” you smirk as you pull on his ‘Alice In Chains’ shirt, “but I’m not going to monitor you, I have a home to decorate.”
“Yes you do,” he smiles before dipping down and kissing you.
As Andy stands in the kitchen, putting things away, and you put up pictures of you two, a feeling happiness washes over you like you’ve never felt before, and everything feels as it should.
For the next few days everything is perfect, and you feel like you’re living someone else’s life. You and Andy quickly fall into a routine of getting up and showering together, you make the both of you lunch while he makes you both coffee, and you kiss each other before leaving for work.
You text each other throughout the day and since you’re usually home first, you get started with dinner, Andy comes home and greets you with a kiss before setting up shop in the kitchen and getting started on work. During dinner, you two talk about your days and try to come up with a plan for the weekend, mainly trying to figure out a time to go to the shelter. When you’re both all done, Andy cleans up while you go upstairs and take a shower which he always ends up joining you in. The nights usually end with sex, a movie, or both, and fall asleep holding each other tight.
It’s so domestic, simple, loving, care free and every thing you’ve ever wanted. It’s picture perfect and you slowly start to believe that maybe life can get better than it has been.
Too bad reality always fucking finds you.
“Just friends with the Barber family?” your boss, Mr. Hathaway, smirks.
“Excuse me?”
“My girlfriend saw that little exchange between you, Laurie, and Andy Barber at the grocery store on Monday. Didn’t wanna cheat on your boyfriend, huh?”
“That’s extremely unprofessional and I’d really rather not talk about it. Especially with you. Why do you even keep hitting on me if you’re in a relationship?”
“I like to play around, no big deal,” he shrugs as if it’s nothing, “no need to get upset, I just didn’t know you had it in you to steal someone else’s husband,” he scoffs before making his way back to his office.
You feel your blood boil and want to text Andy, but you know he’ll show up and punch him in the face. Things are going so well, so you just swallow it down and do your best to work to the best of your ability.
You do your best to focus, but all you want to do is cry. It’s not like you didn’t know you would have to deal with shit like this, but at your fucking job? It can’t be that big of a deal though? Yeah, Andy’s a hot shot lawyer, but not that many can really give a shit about his relationship status...can they?
The second you reach your car, you burst into tears. You don’t want to be so hurt and upset, and you know you shouldn’t be, but it feels like a repeat of what happened between you and Mr. Matthews. You aren’t even the reason Andy originally wanted a divorce, it was Laurie. However, you know there’s no use in pleading your case or saying anything to anyone, because you have a reputation and so does Laurie.
Hers will win over yours every time.
By the time you get home, you just want to hide under the covers and disappear, but you don’t want to worry Andy. So, you change into one of his t-shirts as always and get started on dinner like nothing’s wrong.
“I’m home, sweetheart,” Andy calls as he enters the home you two share, and you quickly wipe your eyes. “Whatever you’re making smells amazing and I need it after...hey, what’s wrong?” he questions, instantly dropping his briefcase and quickly making his way over to you.
“Nothing, I’m fine,” you lie all too quickly as you give the best smile you can muster.
“Why are you lying to me?”
“I’m not lying, it’s just not a big deal. I’m overreacting.”
“You don’t cry over just anything.”
“Andy-”
“Tell me what’s going on.”
“Just some shit I had to deal with at work. People apparently have heard about the grocery store incident that happened, and it’s automatically my fault. I stole you from Laurie.”
It’s not like you’re lying.
“Jesus fucking Christ!”
“Andy, it’s fine. It’s really not a big deal.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong-”
“And we know that, so that’s all that matters. We knew that people were gonna talk, it just caught me off guard. We’ve been having such an amazing week and I wasn’t ready for it.”
“Honey, are you okay?”
“I will be. Honestly, it just caught me off guard and it fucked up my day. I’m alright.”
“You can tell me the truth-”
“Baby, I am. It’s nothing for either of us to get worked up about. Now, tell me about your day.”
“Sweetheart-”
“I wanna hear about your day, Andy. Please.”
Andy sighs in defeat and finally starts to let it go. “I’ve got another murder.”
“Well fuck!”
“I don’t know, I think I’m just gonna quit soon. It’s been nothing but murder cases and abuse lately, and I think I’ve reached my limit.”
“I wouldn’t blame you.”
“You’d be okay with that?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I won’t be making as much money and-”
“Andy, I don’t care about the money,” you scoff, putting the spatula down and looking at him. “I didn’t fall in love with you because of how much money you make. I fell in love with you because of you. Who you are.”
“I know but-”
“But nothing. You can collect trash for a living and I wouldn’t give a shit. I just want to be with you. We’ll figure it out together, it’s nothing to worry about.”
“Even if I’m a teacher?”
“You can sign me up for one of your classes any time you want,” you smile at him.
“I love you so fucking much,” he chuckles before kissing you.
As he makes his way upstairs, you do your best to let go of your pain, frustration, and anxiety and carry on with the night, but it just won’t go away. You can tell that Andy knows that something is off as he makes his way back downstairs, but he doesn’t press because he knows better, and he tries to play along, but when you basically attack him while you two are watching ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’, he knows something off.
“Sweetheart...wait...what’s...what’s wrong?” he asks as he forces you two apart.
“I just want you, daddy,” you moan, grinding yourself against him, going to kiss him again, but he turns away. “Andy-”
“What happened at work?”
“I already told you-”
“Who was the one who said it?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Because you’re not acting like you. You’re not here with me.”
“It’s not like it matters.”
“That’s not fair. You know I don’t only want sex from you. I never have.”
“That’s not what I mean...you’re right, that wasn’t fair and I’m sorry.”
“Honey, what’s going on with you?”
“It’s just...this is how we end our nights and-”
“Listen, I don’t care how we end our nights as long as I end them with you. I love you. Every part and everything about you. Not just sex. I’ll admit that I am a little more eager with you, because it’s never been this good for me, even with Laurie when we were younger. I could never be this open or experimental, but it’s not what keeps me around. I love you, Y/N. I love you for who you are, not for what you have to offer physically.”
“Andy...” you trail off as you start to cry.
God, what the fuck is wrong with you?
“Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”
“This is all I’m good for! This is all I’ll ever been seen for-”
“By them! Not by me! You should know better-”
“I’m just so fucking scared, Andy. I’m not worthy of you and-”
“If anything, I’m not worthy of you! I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I love you.”
“It’s already going around at my job, so it’s only matter of time before it gets around at your job and-”
“So what? Y/N, so fucking what? Who gives a shit? I don’t! My love for you isn’t changing. I know you! I know you inside and out and I know how sincere and genuine you are. I don’t care what anyone else has to say.”
“Andy-”
“Please hear me, Y/N. This is real and it’s never changing. I want you, I need you, and I love you. I will always choose you. Your parents aren’t going to scare me away, I don’t care how Jacob feels about us, I don’t care what anyone has to say about us, I just care about you, how you feel, and how I feel about you. I just care about us.”
“You say that now but-”
“It’s not changing, sweetheart. I just want you and I just need you,” he promises as you sob with a sniffle. “Please just tell me what happened at work.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does when it makes you feel like this.”
“I never feel like I’m worthy of you.”
“We’re gonna have to work on that,” he sighs, turning off the TV before wrapping his arms around you and standing up.
“What are you doing?” you ask as you wrap your legs around his waist.
“We’re going to bed because you need rest.”
“No, I’m fine. I just-”
“We’re gonna rest, honey. Don’t try and stop me.”
“I got you all worked up.”
“This isn’t the first boner I’ve gotten that’s gonna have to go away by itself,” he laughs as he carries you up the steps.
“Andy-”
“Just rest. Rest and we’ll talk about all of this more on our way to adopt a dog.”
“Andy-”
“I mean it. We’ll figure all of it out, we just need to rest for now,” he reassures you as he lays you down on the bed before getting into next to you.
“I’m so sorry,” you sob as you turn to face him.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. You had a rough day and are understandably upset. Please just rest,” he begs gently as he wraps his arm around you and pulls you close.
“I love you, Andy.”
“I love you too, sweetheart,” he reassures you before kissing your forehead.
As you try to calm down enough to go to sleep, you find yourself finding comfort and peace in Andy’s arms. Finally starting to believe that he’s in it for the long haul, and just maybe, having to endure hell won’t be so bad after all.
**
When you wake up, your head is on Andy’s bare chest and he’s leaning against the headboard, reading the paper.
God, you love your life.
“Hi,” you mumble softly.
Andy looks down at you and smiles before kissing your forehead, “good morning.”
“What time are going to see Laurie?”
“In an hour. I figure I’ll get it out of the way and then we’ll have the rest of the day to ourselves.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“You stay here. I can only keep my cool if she isn’t hurling insults at you,” he mutters, finally putting his newspaper down.
“Andy, about last night-”
“Don’t apologize again. I told you that I’ll be patient and will spend the rest of my life just how much I love you. Yesterday was rough and I understand. It’s hard to not get upset when you have to constantly deal with that shit.”
“Yeah, but what I said was...that mean and a low blow. I know that you don’t want just sex from me, it’s just...I’m still learning, Andy. I’m still learning how to be loved. Truly loved. It feels so good but it’s terrifying at the same time, because I’m still so afraid. I’ve never felt anything like this...I’ve never had anything like this before and I’m just so afraid that it could go away at any moment. I get scared of losing you, because you’re the best thing that’s ever been mine,” you sniffle, hoping you don’t sound like a complete idiot to him.
Andy dips down and kisses you passionately and you run your hands through his hair.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine too, sweetheart,” he breathes once you two break apart. “I know that we’re gonna have setbacks, arguments, and there will be days when you just need reassurance. I’m fine with that. I’m never going to stop wanting you. Wanting us. I’ll never stop loving you,” he promises with a soft and sincere smile.
“Wanna shower together?”
“I’d love to.”
The entire shower, Andy won’t stop kissing you and you can’t stop giggling. It’s not sexual or lustful, instead it’s just sweet and innocent, and you wish it could always be like this. You wish it could always be just you and him and that you could always feel this safe.
However, you’re not a child and you know that’s not how the real world works.
“I’ll text you when I leave so you can get ready,” Andy tells you as you two make your way downstairs. “Do you know which shelter you wanna go to?”
“The Boston Animal Care and Adoption Center.”
“Sounds good. As soon as I’m done with all of this shit we’ll go, okay?”
“Okay,” you smile before getting on your tiptoes, “kiss please?”
“Needy,” he laughs before giving you a quick kiss on the lips, “I love you.”
“I love you, hurry back,” you pout as he turns to leave.
“Will do,” he calls over his shoulder, “trust me.”
And with that, he gets into his car and drives off.
For the first thirty minutes everything is perfect. You’re laying on the sofa, eating a fruit bowl you made for yourself, watching ‘Singles’, and waiting to hear from Andy. So, of course you’re happy when your phone finally goes off, but your smile soon turns into a scowl as soon as you see who it is.
“Good morning, mother,” you sigh as you pause the movie.
“I raised you better!” she slurs and you roll your eyes.
“Jesus Christ! It’s only 9:30 in the morning and you’re already drunk?”
“I’ve been drinking since last night! Trying to deal with the fact that I have you for a daughter! Forcing myself not to go to your place and-”
“What the hell are you talking about and how do you know where I live?”
“Laurie!”
Anger activated.
“I’m sorry, come again?” you question you feel your cheeks start to burn with rage.
“It’s bad enough that you’re flaunting your relationship with Andy Barber and didn’t even have the decency to tell me yourself, but I have to hear about it from other people? How you stole him from her? After everything your Father put us through, you pull this shit?!”
“Who the hell did you hear this from?” you all but growl as you turn off the TV and make your way upstairs, looking for something to wear.
It’s not like you can beat Laurie’s ass in sweats and Andy’s torn up old t-shirt.
But then again, you can.
“From the women at the fucking gym! They were asking me what happened and if I’ve spoken to you since everything happened! Laurie has been telling her friends about how you took her husband and broke up their marriage!”
Fuck it, you are just gonna beat Laurie’s ass in Andy’s t-shirt and your sweatpants.
“That still doesn’t explain how you got my address.”
“She gave it to me!”
“Excuse me?”
“I text her to apologize for the pain and destruction that you caused and she gave me your address, asking me to talk to you and see if I can-”
“She did what?!”
A murder might just happen today.
“What else is she supposed to do, Y/N?! You’re destroying her life! I don’t even know how to tackle this situation, so I gave your address to your Father and told him to handle this situation, since you’ve grown up to be just like him. I’m so fucking disappointed in you, Y/N! Honestly!”
“I have to go,” is all you say before hanging up.
You’re moving before mind can even process anything. You race out of the house and get into your car, and before you know it, you’re at Laurie’s house. You don’t even recall actually driving, you’re just at her house now.
Rage is a hell of a thing.
You quickly get out of the car and race up the steps, checking under the porcelain frog for the spare key, but when you can’t find it you decide that pounding on her door like a mad woman will suffice.
“OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR, LAURIE!” you roar, pounding on her door like it stole something from you.
When the door opens, you’re met with Jacob’s worried and scared face.
Even better.
“Y/N, what’s-?”
“WHERE IS SHE?!” you scream as you push past him and make your way inside. “GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE YOU FUCKING BITCH!”
“Y/N, please calm down and tell me-”
“THERE YOU FUCKING ARE! YOU FUCKING BITCH!” you yell as you grab the closest thing to you (which lucky for her is a tissue box) and throw it at her.
“Sweetheart, calm down!” Andy yells, standing in front of Laurie just in time to block it. “What happened?!”
“ARE YOU THAT FUCKING STUPID?! YOU DIDN’T THINK I WOULD FUCKING FIND OUT?!” you rage, lunging towards Laurie but Jacob catches you just in time. “FUCKING TELL THEM! TELL THEM WHAT YOU FUCKING DID!”
Laurie stands there, frozen in fear, and says nothing.
“Y/N, just calm down and-” Sarah starts reassuringly but you don’t want to hear it.
You’re done being nice.
“YOU DON’T WANNA TELL THEM?! FINE, I’LL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO! IT SEEMS THAT LAURIE HAS BEEN TELLING ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN THAT I BROKE UP HER FUCKING MARRIAGE! I SUNK MY CLAWS INTO ANDY AND TORE THEM APART! YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I KNOW?! CAUSE MY FUCKING DRUNK AND UNHINGED MOTHER CALLED ME TO TELL ME THAT I’M A FUCKING WHORE JUST LIKE MY FATHER, AND HOW SHE HAD TO HEAR ABOUT ALL THIS SHIT YESTERDAY WHILE SHE WAS AT THE GYM! EVERYONE WAS ASKING HER QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME AND IF SHE’S SPOKEN TO ME, BECAUSE IT JUST HAS TO BE TRUE, RIGHT?! CAUSE I’M THE TOWN FUCKING WHORE?!”
“Jesus Laurie! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Andy shouts as he turns around to face her.
“IT GETS FUCKING BETTER! WHEN MY MOTHER TEXT HER TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY HOME WRECKING BEHAVIOR, SHE GAVE HER OUR ADDRESS SO SHE CAN COME OVER AND TALK TO ME! TRY TO CONVINCE ME TO LEAVE YOU! HOWEVER, SHE’S SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTED IN ME THAT SHE CAN’T HANDLE IT, SO SHE GAVE IT TO MY FATHER SO HE CAN DEAL WITH IT SINCE I’M SO MUCH LIKE HIM!”
“For fucks sake, mom!” Jacob sighs and out of the corner of your eye, you see Sarah balling her fists and fighting the urge to say something.
“BUT I’M NOT THE REAL FUCKING PROBLEM HERE AM I, LAURIE?! YOU ARE!”
“Y/N-” Sarah tries to interrupt.
“YOU ARE! YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN THE FUCKING PROBLEM! ANDY WAS ASKING FOR A DIVORCE BEFORE WE EVEN DID ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU FUCKING CHEATED! YOU HAD A FULL BLOWN FUCKING AFFAIR, TREAT YOUR FUCKING SON LIKE SHIT, AND THEN CHEATED AGAIN! YOU ARE THE ISSUE! YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE FUCKING ISSUE AND I’M DONE FUCKING PRETENDING YOU AREN’T! ANDY BEGGED FOR OVER A YEAR FOR A FUCKING DIVORCE AND YOU REFUSED! HE BEGGED FOR MONTHS FOR YOU TO SIGN THE GODDAMN PAPERS, BUT YOU WOULDN’T DO IT! STOP SITTING HERE AND PLAYING VICTIM WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S FUCKING GUILTY!”
“Wait...what?” Jacob asks, clearly in shock.
“That’s right, bestie!” you smile sarcastically, turning to face him, “she fucking cheated on Andy with his best fucking friend after the trial because she felt wronged! She had a full blown fucking affair and then, because she was afraid that I would steal her fucking husband at 15 years old, she made sure to keep him out of the house when she knew I’d be coming over! Which is why I didn’t fucking meet him until I was in my fucking 20’s!”
“Jesus, Y/N, I’m so fucking-”
“And the first time I fucking met him was when I went to get those fucking beers while we were watching ‘Borat’, and I had the pleasure of overhearing them arguing because she didn’t want her husband being around the town whore!”
“MOM!”
“And you know what fucking sucks the most?” you continue, your eyes brimming with tears of anger as turn your attention back towards her. “I kept your fucking secrets! I was fine with Jacob hating me as long as it meant that he wouldn’t hate you! You went out of your fucking way to not hurt Andy, but hurt me and I’ve done nothing to you! For years I’ve done nothing but respect your wishes, even though it fucking hurt to know you thought so little of me. When I discovered I had feelings for Andy, I did my best to stay as far away from him as possible! I have done nothing to deserve this from you!”
“You broke up my family!” Laurie finally shouts back and you’re ready lunge at her again, completely forgetting that Jacob is still holding you. “Andy’s in love with you, Jacob’s in love-”
“Jesus Christ mom, I know you ruined your own goddamn marriage, but can you not ruin mine before it’s even started?! Leave me out of your fucking shit show!”
“Oh c’mon Jacob! Everyone knows-”
“No one knows shit, because I’m not in love with Y/N! She’s just my best fucking friend! Yes, I had a crush on her for a moment, but that’s over and done with. She didn’t do shit to you! She didn’t turn me against you and she encouraged me to keep trying to have a better relationship with you! You’re a fucking bully! You bully Y/N, dad, and me! Hell, even bully Sarah! What’s in this family isn’t because of Y/N, it’s because of YOU!” he snaps, finally letting you go.
“If she hadn’t-”
“Jesus, Laurie! Just stop!” you yell, angry tears streaming down your face. “YOU are the reason you’re so fucking miserable! You never do anything, everything just happens to you, right?! Fucking grow up and learn how to take some fucking responsibility for your own goddamn actions! You have a wonderful fucking family and you treat them like shit! What the fuck did you think was gonna happen?! Andy is a fucking person! Not some damn toy that you turn on and off when you want fucking attention and to be entertained! He is good, pure, and genuine! He’s the sweetest man in the world and you fucking abused his love! You abused him! Of course he fell out of love with you! He fell out of love with you and fell in love with me, and I fucking fell head over heels for him! I honestly tried to stop and stay away, but it just didn’t fucking happen and I’m sorry that he chose me, but I didn’t fucking do this! I have been feeling guilty for years and for what?! You to pull this shit?! YOU are the reason you’re so fucking miserable, not me! Maybe, if you weren’t such a fucking cunt, you wouldn’t have lost your husband! MAYBE Jacob would wanna be around you more! You’re a fucking piece of shit, Laurie and that’s not my damn fault!” “Do you feel better now?” she sobs. “Are you happy that my fucking family hates me now?!”
“Your family will fucking forgive you because everyone in this room is too good for you! You’re upset that your family is rightfully mad at you? Try having the town and your family thinking the absolute worst of you because of a fucking lie!” you scoff. “From here on out, I never want to fucking see you again. You’re not welcome in our home and unless it’s extremely serious and has something with Andy, Jacob, or Sarah there’s no fucking reason for us to ever speak! I’m done with this shit! Fuck you and go to hell!” you spit before turning and starting to walk out.
“Y/N,” Jacob calls after you as he grabs your wrist, but you just pull away and keep walking.
You need to get out of there before you breaking something.
The second the door closes you hear the yelling match begin and you don’t feel bad at all. You’ve tried for years to do right by Laurie and this is the shit you get in return?
Fuck it all.
You practically speed home, ignoring your phone because you don’t think you’ll be able to talk to anyone without screaming at them. The second you’re home, you run upstairs to the bedroom and hide under the covers. Your phone won’t stop buzzing, so you toss it on the nightstand and just cry into your pillow.
You’re so tired of feeling pain, anger, and frustration. No, you shouldn’t have flown off the handle like that, but what fucking right did Laurie have? Yes, you and Andy started seeing each other before she signed the papers, but it’s not like he wasn’t adamant getting that to happen. You’ve spent years trying to respect Laurie and her wishes, and for what? So she can fucking lie about you to everyone?
And your mother.
Why was it so easy for her to believe everyone else? You know you two have had your fair share of differences lately, but she’s still your fucking mother. How could she not even think to defend you? She knows you well enough to know that you doing something like that is completely out of character.
“Sweetheart?!” Andy calls as he enters the house.
You don’t even have the energy to respond. You just curl into yourself and cry harder. God, for him to see you like that? You’re so fucking embarrassed. You truly didn’t mean to go off like that, but you’ve just had enough of everything. All you want is to be happy with Andy and live a good life.
Why is that so fucking hard?
“Honey, please don’t cry,” Andy begs as he gets in bed with you, getting under the covers and pulling you close.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” you sob as you lay your head on his chest.
“Hey no! None of that! She was completely out of line and she had no right! Your fucking mother?! What the fuck?!”
“I ruined everything!”
“You ruined nothing. Get rid of that thought right now.”
“Andy-”
“No, it’s one thing for her to give us shit in person, but she spread a lie about you in public. She made sure to make you look like the villain when you aren’t one at all.”
“You were still married-”
“We both know why I was still married when we started seeing each other. It’s not some big secret that I wanted a divorce. By the time we had sex, you knew that I wasn’t even sleeping in the same room as her.”
“Still, I-”
“Still nothing. Laurie did this and then decided to make you the bad guy. I don’t blame you for going off today.You had every right.”
“It doesn’t help that I trauma dumped all over Jacob.”
“No, you were right to do it, because he needed to know.”
“Not like this!”
“Baby, it was long overdue. He had no reason to ever be angry with you and now he knows that. Just calm down.”
“Andy-”
“Please calm down, honey. Everything is okay and as it should be. Just calm down,” he begs as someone pounds on the front door.
“Y/N! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” your father yells.
“For fucks sake!” you mutter as you wipe your eyes.
“You stay right here. I’ll fucking deal with him,” Andy broods before getting up.
“Andy-”
“You stay here,” he repeats as he walks out.
Great.
Andy races down the step, and even though he left the door open, you can’t make out what they’re saying. You hope and pray that it’ll be over soon, but the moment you hear both of their voices get louder, you know you need to intervene. You take a deep breath before putting your slippers on and making your way downstairs.
Today can go to hell.
“I’ll handle it, babe,” you say softly as you stand behind Andy.
“You’re supposed to be upstairs.”
“I don’t want you arguing with my father. I’ll take care of it.”
“Sweetheart-”
“Baby, I’ve got this.”
Andy sighs before answering you, “I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”
“Thanks baby,” you smile weakly as he walks away before turning your attention to your father. “What?”
“No, after the shit you pulled-”
“It is amazing how you think you have any right to say anything to me right now! After all of the shit you’ve pulled-”
“You’re not me!”
“Exactly! I’m not a piece of shit like you, so you should know better than to believe that bullshit!”
“He’s too old for you!”
“Your wife is too young for you!”
“Y/N-”
“No, this fucking conversation is over! You don’t get to come to our house, disrespect my boyfriend, and try and tell us what to do! I am madly and deeply in love with Andrew Barber and that’s not gonna change! We’re not breaking up so everyone can fucking get over it!”
“Y/N-”
“That is the end of this discussion now leave before I call the fucking cops!”
“Y/N-”
“I swear to God I’ll fucking do it! Do not test me!” you warn, crossing your arms across your chest.
He opens his mouth to say something, but just ends up sighing in defeat and just turns around and walks away instead. You wait until you seem him pull off to turn around and go back inside, slamming the door shut and locking it behind you.
You’re done with everyone for the day.
“Sweetheart, are you-”
Andy’s cut off by you pulling him close and kissing you with an insane amount of passion. You’re done talking, you don’t feel like crying, and you don’t wanna drink.
You just want Andy.
Thankfully, Andy picks up on this and picks you and carries you upstairs to the bedroom. He sets you down once he’s at the foot of the bed and you make quick work of getting his shirt off, before getting on your knees and undoing the button and zipper on his jeans and pulling them down along with his boxer briefs, before pulling his shoes and socks off. You slowly kiss up his body, loving the silent sighs and moans that leave his mouth, before getting back on your feet. You sit him down before taking off his shirt that you’re wearing and your bra.
Andy’s are trained on you as you take off your sweatpants and panties, before walking over and straddling him. You keep your gaze on him as stroke him a few times before sliding yourself down on his cock.
“Fuck,” you sigh, finally feeling content as he stretches you.
“Take what you need from me, sweetheart,” he groans, cradling you in his arms as if you’re a precious porcelain doll.
“Just want...need to feel better,” you moan as you start to grind your hips against his.
“Fuck!”
“I love you so much, Andy.”
“I love you, Y/N. Never gonna stop.”
You dip down and kiss him as you start to pick up your pace, sighing in content as your clit rubs against his pelvis. He starts a trail of hungry kisses down your neck and you feel yourself getting close. When he gets to your chest, you push him back because you know you aren’t gonna last long.
Even when he isn’t in control, he can still pull you apart in a matter of minutes. You place your hands on his chest in a weak attempt to keep yourself upright; riding him as if you’re attempting to remind him why he won’t ever be able to give you up. You push your hair back as Andy’s hands start travel up your body, stopping once they’re on your breasts and he’s massaging them, and whine like you’re in heat.
“Andy!”
“You are so fucking beautiful! So fucking beautiful and perfect!”
“I can’t...fuck, I’m so close!”
“Give it to me, baby. I’ll take care of you.”
“Andy!” “Come on sweet girl, give me everything.”
And just like that, you’re cumming hard and digging your nails into his shoulders. With one swift move, he’s pulling you down and flipping you on your back.
“Oh my God!”
“You look so fucking beautiful when you’re riding me!”
“I just need...just need you,” you pathetically plead as he entwines his fingers with yours and raises them above your head so they’re resting against the headboard. “Baby...oh God, don’t stop!”
“You are my entire fucking universe, Y/N! I will do anything to protect you and keep you safe!”
“Andy...oh...fuck!”
“My perfect fucking girl!”
“FUCK!” you shout as your orgasm overtakes you and make a mess all over his cock and you’re sure the bed.
“Christ!” Andy growls into the crook of your neck as he fills you to the brim with his release.
As he rides out both of your highs, all you can think to do is wrap your arms around him and pull him close. Andy is your home and you never want to be without him.
“Are you okay?” he asks after a moment, pulling out and laying beside you.
“I feel better than I did before,” you humorlessly chuckle as you roll over and lay your head on his chest.
“I’m so fucking sorry, sweetheart.”
“No, I’m sorry. I fucking...I shouldn’t have gone off like that.”
“You had every right.”
“Still...I should’ve talked to you first, at least. Just storming in there like that...I just had to fucking sit here and listen to my mother say all of this shit. I was so hurt by her and then to find out that Laurie is the one who started it? I don’t know why I’m surprised that she did it, because she fucking sucks, but it still felt like a punch to the fucking gut.”
“Just know that it’s been dealt with.”
“How angry is Jacob?”
“He said a few choice words and I couldn’t really blame him. He’s hurt...really hurt. I thought he would’ve called or text you?”
“He probably has, I put my phone on my nightstand and have been ignoring it. It was going off like crazy and I just couldn’t deal with it. Jesus, how did all of this happen before 12pm?” you chuckle as Andy lets out a full bodied laugh. “This is something that would happen to us.”
“Who thought this would be such a big fucking deal?”
“I certainly fucking didn’t,” you mutter as you rub your face, “fuck me.”
“Do you still want this?” he asks softly and you can hear the fear in his voice.
“Hey, look at me,” you urge as you gently grip his face and force his attention on you, “I love you. I am so in love with you and I’m not going anywhere. The whole town can hate me, I don’t care. I just want to be with you. Are you sure you want to be with me?”
Andy cups your face and kisses you so passionately you’re worked up again, “I only want you and I’m only ever going to want you. No one and nothing is gonna make me doubt that.”
“Andy-”
“Everyone knows now. There’s no more shit to deal with, no more hiding, and no more secrets. I love the fact that I can finally go out in public with you, and show everyone just how much I love you. Just how much we love each other. It’s not going to be easy, but I want this. I need to be with you.”
“Baby-”
“You were made for me and I was made for you. The moment you stepped into my life, I finally felt like I could breathe. You’ve made me so fucking happy and I wanna spend the rest of my life showing you the same love and happiness you’ve selflessly given me time and time again. There’s never going to be a time when I look at you and don’t feel my heartbeat speed up and my body heat up. There’s never going to come a time when I won’t be in love with you,” he promises sincerely.
It feels so fucking good to cry for a good reason.
You pull him close and kiss him passionately, “lets go adopt a puppy,” you breathe with a smile once you two break apart.
“Lets.”
You both get dressed in silence and the car ride is filled music from the playlist you made for the both of you, while you and Andy rest your entwined hands on the console. The day may have started shitty, but it’s turning out better than you could’ve imagined.
“Do you know what kind of dog you want?” Andy asks as he parks the car.
“Nah, I’ll know when I see it,” you smile and Andy just chuckles.
“Sounds good to me.”
“Do you care at all?”
“I’m just following your lead, babe.”
You know it’s silly, but the fact that you and Andy are about to adopt a dog together has you feeling more excited than you thought it would. It really is a huge step, and you know he’s not just going along with it to make you happy. Yes, Andy loves making you smile, but he’s not irresponsible. You’re more than sure that he knows the responsibilities that come with getting a dog.
He is an actual parent after all.
No, he’s not doing it just to make you happy, he’s doing it because he trusts you. He trusts you to love and care for it, be responsible, and not get bored or tired of it. He trusts you enough to parent together.
“Hello, how may I help you?” the receptionist smiles brightly at you as you and Andy make your way to the desk.
“Um, we’re looking to adopt a dog,” you answer shyly, realizing that you and Andy are actually about to take this giant step together.
It’s insane to you how your day went from being to a complete and total fucking nightmare to a dream come true.
“That’s great!” she beams with a sincere smile as she grabs two clipboards. “I’ll take you to the back soon, we just need you both to fill out these forms.”
As you look over the paper, you see that it’s simple enough and very much necessary, but when they ask for referrals you freeze up.
Currently, everyone in your life hates you.
“What’s wrong?” Andy asks softly as he notices the change in your demeanor.
“I don’t know who to put down for a referral.”
“Sarah and Jacob.”
“Sarah? Yes. Jacob...”
“Sweetheart, it’s fine.”
“Andy’s he still so mad and-”
“Believe me, you can put him down.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” he grins before going back to filling out his form.
Andy’s never let you down before, so you can really can’t think of a reason not to trust him now. You’re hesitant, but finish filling out the form and hand it to him so can turn it in along with his.
Your anxiety is really starting to get the best of you.
“Alright, everything looks good, lets head back,” she smiles as she gets up.
You take Andy’s hand in yours, take a deep breath, and follow the woman into the back area. You’re barely listening to the woman as she starts talking about the shelter and what they’re about. It’s not that you don’t care, but your heart just breaks for all of the animals that have been mistreated.
Then you see a puppy crouched in the corner of its kennel and stop in your tracks.
“Who’s this one?” you ask as you slowly make your way over to the kennel and kneel down in front of it.
The poor thing looks terrified.
“Oh, he’s one of our newer rescues,” she sighs. “We’ve named him Louie. We found him on the side of the highway in a thunderstorm. He’s sweet, but very skid-dish.”
“He’s just a puppy!”
“Yeah, I said the same thing. It took him the first few weeks to warm up to us and really eat, but hes come a long way,” she smiles softly, looking at the frightened dog.
Louie is an awful name, but hes stolen your heart.
“Is it okay if I sit in there with him?”
“Sure!”
You’re slow to get in when she opens the kennel door, not wanting to scare him even more, but soon enough you’re inside and settled on the other side of the kennel; wanting to come to you when he’s ready. You slowly hold out your hand, letting him sniff it, then softly go to pet him. It takes a few minutes, but he lets you move a little closer.
“I’m not gonna hurt you, sweetheart,” you tell him in a soft and gentle tone. “I just wanna meet you.”
After a few more minutes, you’re close enough to him and he’s making his way over to you, sniffing you just a bit before deciding to slowly make his way into your lap. You look up at Andy with tears in your eyes and a smile on your face.
“I think we found our pup,” Andy smiles at the woman who has tears in her eyes.
You stay in the kennel for a bit longer, before gently putting Louie down and promising him you’ll come back to see him. Even if they don’t let you adopt him, there’s no way you’re not gonna come back just to comfort him.
The woman asks for you and Andy to sign a few forms before telling you that someone will reach out to you both of you in a week or two.
“Who could do that to a puppy?!” you exclaim as soon as you two are back in the car. “He’s so sweet! Poor little German Shepherd!”
“His name is Louie.”
“That’s an awful name and you know it,” you scowl and Andy laughs softly. “Even if he doesn’t end up with us, I hope he finds a good home. I hope they all find a good home.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s ours, so you better start thinking of names.”
“I don’t wanna jinx it.”
“Sweetheart, I know you weren’t paying attention, but I saw how that woman was looking at you. You need to start thinking about a name.”
“Yeah, everything is great until she calls Jacob.”
“I told you, it’ll be fine.”
“How do you know?”
“I just do,” he smiles at you and pulls up to a stop sign.
“What?”
“I just can’t wait to make you a mom.”
You and Andy spend the rest of the day cuddled up and watching movies. You both decide that the day has been long and stressful enough, deciding to ignore your phones and just enjoy one another for the rest of the day. Andy decides that he doesn’t want to let you go long enough to cook dinner, so you both decide on sushi.
When you’re finally ready to call it a night, you fall asleep feeling understood, loved, and at peace.
Finding the person you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with is truly something else.
**
“It’s not like I intended to almost break down the damn door, Andy,” you mumble, rolling your eyes as you make your way onto the back deck. “I just snapped. I haven’t raged out like that since the 11th grade.”
When you woke up, you were feeling much more calm than you were feeling yesterday, so you decided that you both should actually talk about what happened.
Ya know, you raging out and almost committing a murder.
“I still can’t believe you threw a box of tissues at her,” he scoffs, handing you a cup of coffee as he reads the paper.
“She’s lucky that’s all that was there and that Jacob held me back. She’d honestly probably be in the hospital right now.”
“I’m not gonna lie, it was extremely terrifying and sexy to see you like that.”
“I really did want to be rational,” you laugh, “but after hearing what my boss said at work, then getting that call from my mom-”
“Your boss is the one that confronted you at work?” Andy questions with a growl as he throws his newspaper down.
Fuck.
“Andy-”
“What exactly did he say?”
“Please don’t get yourself worked-”
“Sweetheart.”
You sigh in defeat knowing that you’re about to ruin his day, “it was stupid. He said that his girlfriend-”
“He has a girlfriend and he’s hitting on you all the fucking time?!”
“Andy.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Go on.”
“He said that she saw the whole thing at the grocery store and he figured that’s why I never wanted to sleep with him. He said that he didn’t think I had it in me to steal someone’s husband. It just triggered me which is why I acted the way I did that night, because once again, I was just seen as some man stealing sex bot. Then, when my mom called and said that Laurie is the one spreading all these rumors and shit...I don’t know, I just fucking lost,” you finish with a heavy sigh.
When Andy doesn’t respond, you look over at him and see that one of his hands are clenching the arm of the lawn chair.
“Baby, please don’t-”
“Has he been making advances towards you lately?”
“Just the same shit as usual. Asking me out on dates, asking me to meet him at his place. He hasn’t put his hands on me again. Please don’t get worked up over this, it’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”
“That’s not helping me to calm down,” he mutters before getting up and heading into the house.
“Babe, where are you going?”
“For a run,” he gruffly replies before you hear his heavy footsteps going up the stairs.
About five minutes later, you hear him coming back down the steps and slam the door shut.
Lovely.
You sigh and grab the news paper, trying to give a damn about hometown politics, but it’s useless now. Andy’s upset and you hate it. Your boss is just a piece of shit, and neither of you can change that. You understand why he’s upset, but you just don’t feel like there’s a point to it. You’ve gotten used to it and he should too.
Your boss isn’t the first guy to treat you like shit and you’re sure he won’t be the last.
You grab both cups off coffee and the newspaper, deciding that it’s best to occupy yourself. Sitting around and waiting for Andy to come back won’t do anything besides cause you to worry. You pour out the coffee in both cups, but before you can start cleaning them, there’s a knock on the front door, and you’re quick to drop everything and run to it.
“Baby, there’s really no reason for you to be...oh,” you say as you open the door and see Jacob standing there. “I thought you were...”
“I can see that,” he mutters.
“He went out for a run and I don’t know when he’ll be back, so-”
“I uh...I came to see you.”
“Oh...okay then...come in, I guess,” you mumble awkwardly as you stand to the side.
You both walk in silence to the kitchen after you close the door and you feel like shit. You’ve never felt so far from Jacob in your life. Out of the corner of your eye you see him looking at the pictures of you and Andy, and you’re so tempted to ask him what he’s thinking.
“Do you want anything to drink?” you ask, grabbing yourself a glass.
“What are you having?”
“A whiskey neat.”
“Make two, I guess.”
“Will do.”
You quickly make the drinks in an awkward silence before leading him out onto the back deck. It’s been a while since you’ve had a drink before 11am, but you’re having a hell of a weekend.
“So...what’s up?” you ask after five minutes of awkward silence and you two just looking everywhere but at each other.
“I’ve been texting you, but you haven’t been answering me.”
“Yeah, I haven’t been on my phone since everything happened.”
“That bad?”
“Let me show you,” you smile sarcastically, putting your drink down before running inside to grab your phone from upstairs. “It hasn’t stopped going off since my mother called me,” you sigh, making your way back outside, tossing it to him.
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, we need to talk.”
“I guess so.”
“You lied to me, Y/N. To my face, multiple times.”
“It’s not like you made it easy for me to tell you the truth. I wanted to and I tried-”
“You should’ve just told me!”
“How was I supposed to tell you, Jacob? How? I kept trying to drop fucking hints, and all you kept telling me was how you wanted them back together, and that you don’t want him with anyone else or anyone younger. I hated lying to you, we both did, but what was I supposed to do?! You think that was fun for me? Lying to you? Keeping secrets? Jacob, you’re my best friend and I wanted to let you know everything, there was just never a good time!”
“I wouldn’t have gotten so mad if you would have just told me from the beginning!”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. There was no right way or good time to tell you, so that’s why we decided to wait until after you proposed. We both thought you were going to propose during the Summer. You decided to wait and what were we supposed to do? Rush you? We knew that telling you would ruin the proposal, so we agreed to do it after. Then...then we fucked up and got carried away. It was never what we intended and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry that you found out like that. We had the whole thing planned...I’m truly sorry.”
“Yeah, walking in on my dad filming you two fucking? Hearing you call him ‘Daddy’?”
“Jesus, how much did you hear?”
“More than enough.”
“Jacob, I’m sorry, I really am, but you wouldn’t even hear me out. You just yelled, said a bunch of shit, and then stormed out.”
“What did you expect?!”
“I expected better from you! After everything we’ve gone through, I expected better from you!” you sniff, finally letting your tears fall. “I know I hurt you, but dammit Jacob! You hurt me too!”
“I know I did,” he sighs before taking a long sip of his drink. “Sarah chewed me out for two days. You’re right, this is something I would’ve never been ready for and me losing my shit was the only option. Then, yesterday...once we got home, Sarah told me everything. It’s not like I don’t know that you’re a loyal friend, Y/N...he’s my fucking dad!”
“Jake, I don’t know what to tell you, okay? I tried my best to stop it, I really did. I didn’t want to fall in love with him and the second I figured out that I had, I tried to stay away. We both tried to stop this, but it just...I love him, Jake. God, I am so insanely in love with him.It’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”
He’s thoughtful before he speaks, “what my mom did...what shes been doing...you didn’t deserve that. She fucked up, not you. That’s not right or fair to you at all.”
“Yeah well, that’s just Laurie being Laurie,” you mutter before taking another sip of your drink.
“You should’ve told me.”
“Jacob, all the clues were there, you’re just oblivious to everything. I can’t do anything about that. Them arguing over a girl that works in a library, Andy never being around when I’m there, that awkward ass family dinner. I wasn’t about to tell you something that would’ve put more of a strain on your relationship with your mother. Like I said yesterday, I’m fine with you hating me as long as you don’t hate her. Yeah, your mom fucking sucks and she’s not the greatest mom, but at least she gave you the benefit of the doubt when everything happened with Ben. My mother called me after hearing one bullshit accusation and she was calling me a home wrecking whore.”
“For fucks sake.”
“So yeah, the one of us that has two capable and functioning parents? I’m sacrificing myself for that.”
“You didn’t need to do that.”
“Yes, I really did.”
“Yeah well, we exchanged some choice fucking words after that. I’m not happy with her.”
“I’m imaging you’re not happy with anyone right now.”
“You’re not wrong.”
“Don’t be mad at Andy, Jake. He hated keeping it from you and he wanted to tell you before we left for Italy.”
“Then why didn’t he?”
“Because I told him that I didn’t want our first trip away together to be ruined by me crying because you’ll hate me. We both knew how angry you would be and we just wanted one real couple’s activity before everything went to shit.”
“Did you live out your ‘Roman Holiday’ dream?”
“I did,” you smile at him, pouring you both another drink.
“Well...what do we do now?”
“I mean...I’m not leaving Andy.”
“I don’t expect you to. I guess we just...take it one step at a time.”
“Can you handle that?”
“All I can do is try. It’s not lost on me how much happier you two have been since being together. Once I put everything together...I love you both and I want you both to be happy. If that means you two are staying together...I’m gonna try my best to learn how to deal with it.”
“Trying is a good place to start,” you smile at him.
“Still can’t believe you almost hit my mom.”
“That’s the second time I’ve heard that today,” you groan and Jacob chuckles softly.
“How’s he handling everything?”
“Much better than I am. He’s been keeping me sane.”
“Sweetheart, I’m back!” Andy calls as he makes his way inside the house. “The car outside looks like...oh, hey bud,” he greets awkwardly.
You know that now isn’t the time, but Andy’s been growing out his hair, and he’s currently covered in sweat. You pray that Jacob is ready to go.
“Hey, I’m on my way out. Just wanted to talk to Y/N.”
“I’m sorry if I interrupted-”
“No, we’re all done here. I’ve gotta get back home. Y/N, please text or call Sarah. She’s worried sick about you,” he nods towards you before getting up.
“I’ll text her soon.”
“I guess, I’ll see you around,” he smiles awkwardly before making his way out.
“Jake...are we...?” Andy asks softly.
“We will be...I just need time. I’ll see you both later.”
And with that, he’s out the door.
“Drinking already?” Andy asks, noticing the glasses.
“It’s not like it was a necessarily easy talk,” you shrug before scarfing down the rest of your drink.
“You two resolve it?”
“I mean...he doesn’t hate me as much as he did before, and he did apologize. We both did. I don’t know, time will tell.”
“That’s a good place to start,” he smiles before grabbing what’s left of Jacob’s drink and downing it.
“I take it your run didn’t do you any good?”
“Well, I’ve talked myself out of going to your job tomorrow and beating the shit out of your boss.”
“That’s very big of you and I’m proud.”
“Sweet girl.”
“He’s always going to be an asshole, baby.”
“That doesn’t make it okay,” he growls as he makes his way back inside.
“I never said it did, I’m just saying that there’s no sense in getting angry.”
“I’ve told you before, but I guess it didn’t stick; so let me remind you. You’re mine. Every part of you belongs to me and no one else,” he broods, turning to face you after putting the glass in the sink. “I don’t want him hitting on you, I don’t want him inviting you out to dinner, I don’t want him putting his fucking hands on you, and I don’t want him harassing you.”
You don’t say anything. You just take his hand and lead him upstairs, bringing him into the bathroom.
“You need to shower and unwind, daddy.”
“And how do you think I should unwind?”
“You tell me,” you suggest seductively as you take his shirt off of you.
Andy wastes no time getting undressed and turning on the shower, before pulling you in with him. He’s on his knees almost instantly, hooking your right leg over his shoulder before starting to devour your pussy.
“Fuck! Just like that, daddy! Use me until you’re satisfied,” you whimper, grabbing a fistful of his hair as you start to grind your pussy against his face.
You look down and see his heated gaze on you and it only makes you crave him in the sickest way even more.
That’s the thing about you and Andy’s love that makes it easy to understand why you can’t and won’t ever give him up. It’s not traditional, it’s not always easy, and it’s not always romantic, but it is always honest. There’s no part of either of you that you hide from one another. Even when you both just need to get your anger and aggression out, you show those sides of yourselves to one another.
There are no secrets.
Andy is the first and only person that you’ve been with that makes you feel safe and comfortable with whatever shade and mood you’re feeling. You don’t feel like there’s any part of yourself that you need to hide away to make yourself perfect for him, because he thinks you’re perfect already, and you feel the same about him. He’s not angry because he doesn’t trust you, he’s angry because he knows you deserve better. If he needs to fuck you until the anger and frustration has subsided, then you’re more than happy to let him do that.
He takes him time pulling you apart in the shower, making sure he’s satisfied with what a quivering mess you’ve become, before carrying you into the bedroom and taking you apart time and time again. By the time he’s through with you, you’re a limp mess on the bed.
“Are you okay, baby? Was I too rough?” he questions softly as he strokes your back.
“I’m perfect, Andy. You’re always so good to me.”
“I’m sorry I got a little carried away. I just...we gotta get you a new job, babe.”
“I know, honey,” you yawn, “I know.”
“Rest.”
“I don’t wanna. I wanna spend time with you.”
“We’ll do something when you wake up.”
“Daddy-”
“Don’t argue with me.”
“At least lay with me?”
“Of course,” he laughs softly as he gets under the covers with you, pulling you close and pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too, Andy. So fucking much.”
“Sleep, baby. Just rest up.”
“Just need...just need you,” you mumble as you succumb to sleep.
**
When you wake up, you’re in bed alone and the house is quiet. You give yourself a moment to adjust, your body still feeling a bit like rubber from your anger management session with Andy earlier, before getting up and looking over at your alarm clock.
5:30pm.
You’re gonna have the worst time going to bed tonight.
You sigh in frustration as you get out of bed and go over to your dresser, grabbing a random old t-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts, before heading downstairs.
“Andy?” you call out.
Nothing.
Making your way into the kitchen, you grab a glass and pour yourself a drink, before going out onto the back deck and grabbing your phone. You head back inside, taking a seat on the sofa in the living room, before dialing the one person you were supposed to call hours ago.
“Are you okay?!” Sarah exclaims as soon as she answers the phone.
“I’m alright, I’m sorry. I haven’t answered or really looked at my phone since my mother called me. I’m supposed to be helping you plan a wedding and-”
“Do not worry about that right now. How are you?”
“I mean...it’s out, so at least there’s no more sneaking and hiding. There’s a huge relief in knowing that.”
“I can’t believe she did that shit! I told Jacob I don’t want her at the wedding.”
“Sarah.”
“No Y/N. Fuck her. I’ve been sick of her shit for a long time, but this is entirely too far. It’s not even like she just went to your parents. She purposely went to her little group and lied about everything. I don’t want her there.”
“She’s his mother.”
“Then why doesn’t she fucking act like it?”
“Lets talk about something else,” you sigh before downing your drink, grabbing the bottle under the coffee table, and pouring yourself another.
Sarah giggles before saying, “so you two record yourselves, huh?”
“Stop!” you burst out laughing and she laughs along with you. “That was the first time we’d ever done it too. God, that was such a shit show.”
“I told him to get over it. You’re both truly in love with one another and it’s obvious that you two belong together.”
“Sarah, his best friend is dating his dad.”
“Who gives a fuck? We’re all grown, so he needs to get the fuck over it. After all you’ve done for him? After all his dad has done for him? He can get over it. He’s being selfish and childish.”
“Someone is feisty.”
“Yeah well, my best friend isn’t okay and I’m pissed about it.”
“Everything will be fine in time. Wounds are still fresh and...he just needs time. We all need time,” you finish softly before throwing back another drink and pouring yourself another. “Now, how far along are you with the wedding?”
“We’ll talk about it in a few days. Give yourself time to regroup.”
“Sarah-”
“I mean it, babygirl. Let yourself process all of this and deal with it. We’ve got time, I’m not worried.”
“Thank you, Sarah. For everything.”
“That’s what best friends are for. I’ve gotta go though, Jacob just came home with dinner. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
“Sounds good. I love you.”
“I love you, get some rest,” she pleads before hanging up.
You check your phone and see that it’s now 6:20 and there’s still no sign of Andy, so you turn on the TV, have another drink and pour another, and get comfortable. You get through a movie and a half before the front door finally opens.
“Sweetheart?”
“Well, look who’s finally home,” you slur with a humorless laugh.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
“Where were you?”
“I went to go see Laurie. Why are you drunk?”
“Why did you go to see Laurie?”
“I didn’t exactly get out everything I wanted to say yesterday. Now, put this down and talk to me,” he sighs, grabbing your glass and putting it down on the coffee table, before taking a seat next to you.
“Sarah doesn’t want Laurie at the wedding, my relationship with Jacob is up in the air and I think it’s starting to affect his relationship with Sarah, the town easily believes a full blown lie about me and so do my parents, and when I woke up you were gone. It’s been a hell of a week, babe.”
“Come here,” he sighs, pulling you into his lap and cradling you against his chest. “I didn’t want to wake you up and I didn’t see the point in sending a text because you haven’t been on your phone.”
“No Andy, I don’t think you were out doing anything wrong. I’m lonely. I woke up and you were gone and I felt alone. Yeah, Jacob and I talked today, but I have never felt so far away from him in my life. Obviously, if he’s ever able to get over you and I being together, it’s still not going to be like it was before. Sarah’s annoyed with him for how he’s acting and wishes he would get the fuck over it, so I’m trying to give them space to just sort it out. The town is looking down on me even more now thanks to Laurie, so it’s not like I’m in any real rush to go out and make friends. My parents think I’m a whore as does my boss, and right now, this relationship is the one thing in my life that feels right. I know I can’t make you my only friend or comfort, and I don’t plan on it, but it’s just really tough right now. When you’re not with me, I feel so alone and I hate feeling that way right now,” you finish with a silent sob.
“Oh my sweet girl,” he coos as he rubs your back softly, “I’m so fucking sorry. I honestly never thought she’d take it this far.”
“You shouldn’t have to take care of me like this. I shouldn’t be so weak-”
“Hey no! None of that. The last thing you are is weak. You’ve had to put up with so much for so long and so much has happened since we got back from Rome. You’re not weak, you’re worn out and I don’t blame you. Anyone in your position would be fed up and worn out. Do not think of yourself as weak, because you’re the strongest person I know.”
“Andy-”
“I mean it, sweetheart. I’ve told you, you don’t have to be strong all the time. You aren’t alone anymore. You take care of me all the time, please let me take care of you. Let me love you, because I love you so fucking much.”
You pull away slightly and look him in the eyes and they’re filled with the most genuine and pure love. He holds your chin with his forefinger before leaning in and kissing your tear soaked lips. It’s not desperate, there’s no lust, and there’s no eagerness. It’s tender, passionate, and filled with love.
“I love you, Andy,” you sob once you two break apart.
“Lets get you something to eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Baby-”
“I’m not.”
“Have you eaten at all today?”
“No.”
“Can you just eat half a sandwich for me?”
“Andy.”
“Please.”
“Fine,” you begrudgingly agree.
Andy sets you up so that you’re straddling him before wrapping his arms around your waist and standing up. You wrap your legs around him and lay your head on his shoulder, not wanting to be anywhere else.
“What did you tell Laurie?” you ask quietly as he sets you down on the counter.
“A few things,” he mutters as he grabs a plate from the cabinet, “of course, it turned into a yelling match.”
“You didn’t have to say anything, Andy. I don’t want her yelling at you-”
“No,” Andy interrupts as he grabs spiced ham, cheese, and lettuce out of the fridge, “she doesn’t get to pull that shit and get away with it. You’re with me and she’s going to respect you. For her to spread that shit to the whole town? I told her she could make me look like the bad guy. Not you.”
“To her, I am the bad guy.”
“Stop that,” he sighs grabbing Nandos spicy and sweet mayo you love out of the fridge. “Stop showing her favor when she doesn’t deserve it.”
“I almost killed her yesterday, Andy. I’m not showing her favor, I’m just telling the truth. Laurie isn’t capable of ever holding herself accountable, so she’s always going to blame and see me as the bad guy. She doesn’t see why everyone’s so mad, because she’ll always see me as the problem.”
“Yeah well, I don’t give a fuck what she believes cause I know the truth. I told her that if she pulls some shit like that again, she’s not going to be happy with the consequences.”
“Babe-”
“No Y/N. I’m done with everyone thinking they can treat you however they want. I know you say it’s fine because you’re used to it, but that doesn’t make it right,” he huffs as he puts your sandwich together. “I honestly almost went to go see your mother and yell at her too, cause she fucking knows better. I don’t fucking care how much she drinks.”
“What did you say to my father?” you ask, ignoring the arousal between your legs.
Hearing and seeing him get so worked up over you turns you on in the worst way.
“I told him that he’s not fucking welcome here and he needs to fucking go home. He told me I can’t talk to him like that and I told him I can talk to him however the fuck I want when he’s trespassing on our property.That’s when the yelling started.”
“Oh God.”
“He said that I should be ashamed of what I put my family through and I told him that he should be ashamed of the piece of shit that he is. He threatened to hit me and I told him to make a good hit because it’ll be the only one he’ll get in. He was about to say something when you came down and said you’ll take care of it.”
“I’m so sorry, hun.”
“I’m not. Fuck him. If he can’t treat you right, he’s not welcome here. Anyone who can’t treat you with an ounce of fucking respect is gonna deal with me.”
“Andy-”
“I mean it, Y/N. I’m not tolerating that shit. I will yell at everyone in this fucking town if I have to,” he finishes with a huff, adding two pickles to your sandwich before putting on the top piece and cutting it. “Eat half and we’ll go to bed.”
“I don’t wanna go to bed.”
“You have work tomorrow.”
“I don’t wanna go.”
“I don’t want you to,” he scoffs. You keep your gaze on him and he chuckles, “what?”
“You’re growing your hair out.”
“You don’t like it?”
“i love it.”
“Eat,” he laughs softly.
“What will you eat? If I can’t sleep without eating, neither can you.”
“I’ll eat the other half.”
“No, I know you must be hungry.”
“You’re not getting out of eating, honey.”
“It’ll ruin my buzz!” you pout.
“Too bad. You’ve had coffee and whiskey all day. Eat.”
“Fine,” you mutter, grabbing your half of the sandwich.
The both of you eat in a happy and comfortable silence (you mainly happy just to be close to Andy again), exchanging glances and small smiles every once in a while. When you’re both all done, Andy washes the plate off, you hop off the counter and make your way into the living and collect your little more half finished drink.
“Here,” you offer, handing the glass to Andy when you’re back in the kitchen.
“What?” he laughs.
“I know you don’t want me to drink anymore, so you can have it.”
“You may as well finish it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Just this once. Next time, I’m pouring it out.”
“Why would you pour out something out that we paid for?”
“Just drink it so we can go to bed,” he laughs.
You cock an eyebrow before downing it in one shot.
“You both mesmerize and terrify me at the same time,” he comments as he takes the glass from you.
“I really love that I have that affect on you.”
“Bedtime,” he laughs, picking you up.
“My phone!” you whine as he starts heading for the steps.
“You don’t need it.”
“It’s my alarm and I have to charge it, Andrew.”
“You’re such a pain in the ass,” he chuckles, making his way into the living room and grabbing it off the coffee table. “Anything else, Your Highness?”
“That’ll be all, my sweet King. Thank you,” you smile at him and he just chuckles and shakes his head before starting for the stairs again.
Once inside the bedroom, Andy lays you down, before stepping into the bathroom and doing his nightly routine of brushing his teeth, and taking his pills that help him sleep.
You plug in your phone and as you’re about to turn over, it buzzes. You contemplate ignoring it, but you know you can’t keep ignoring the outside world forever.
You feel both excitement and anxiety when you see that it’s a text from Jacob.
The Dark Lord: I know it’s late and you have work in the morning, but I just needed to say this tonight. Yeah, today was weird and I have a feeling that it’ll be weird for a while, but I don’t hate you and I do miss you. I miss being best friends. It’s gonna take some time, but I do understand why you did things the way you did. You’re always looking out for others, especially me. It’ll take time, but I know we’ll get through this. I’ll talk to you later and I love you. Good night.
Y/N: I’m really happy you feel this way, Jacob. I do too. I miss you and our friendship. I love you and I’ll talk to you when you’re ready. Have a good night.
You place your phone on your nightstand feeling a bit more at ease as Andy gets in next to you, shutting off his light and turning on the TV.
“You’re not going to sleep?” you ask, turning to face him and resting your head on his chest.
“No, I’m not tired. You rest.”
“You don’t have to stay in here, baby. You can watch whatever downstairs if you want.”
“No, I’m happy to stay right here with you,” he promises as he wraps an arm around you. “I never want you to feel alone again.”
**
You can’t stop watching the clock as it gets closer and closer to lunch. When you woke up this morning, you were still worked up from seeing Andy so angry and protective of you last night. So, when you two showered together you basically pounced on him. No, you didn’t get exactly what you wanted, but you did blow him which led to him bending you over once you two got back into the bedroom and eating you out until your legs gave out.
You didn’t have time to make lunch, so Andy made coffee for the both of you and said he’d pick you up for lunch. Usually (if there’s no time to make breakfast), you get a small breakfast to hold you over, but there was no time. You barely made it to work on time, so now you’re starving and desperate to see Andy.
“You’re pretty distracted today,” your boss, Mr. Hathaway, smirks as he leans against your desk.
“I really wouldn’t do this today if I were you,” you mutter, looking back at your computer screen.
“I told you, I don’t give up easily, sweet thing.”
“I would appreciate it if you didn’t call me that.”
“You’re not going to tell me you only open your legs for Andrew Barber,” he scoffs, now sitting on the edge of your desk and you feel your blood boil. “What am I missing here?”
“You’re missing that she doesn’t fucking want you!” Andy snaps, grabbing the douche bag by his lapels and shoving him against the wall.
You were so focused on not focusing on your boss that you didn’t even notice Andy come in.
“ANDY!” you call, standing up and turning all of your attention towards the two men.
“I’m gonna start this off by saying that I don’t fucking like you. Never have and never will,” Andy growls. “That woman? She’s my girlfriend and I believe shes made it perfectly fucking clear that she isn’t interested in you, don’t you?”
“Andy-”
“That’s District Attorney Barber, to you!”
“District Attorney Barber, I never meant to...I was just joking!”
“For almost four fucking years?! Yeah, I don’t fucking think so! Now, she isn’t going to be working here for much longer, but while she is here, you will respect her! Leave her alone or the next talk we have won’t be so fucking pleasant, understand me?!”
“Yeah, I won’t bother her again, I promise!”
“Good, I’m glad we got this all cleared up,” he smiles as he slowly releases your boss. “Also, if she has to deal with any bullshit because you’re an asshole, or gets fired out of nowhere, understand that you’ll get hit with a lawsuit so fucking fast and she’ll have the best fucking representation.”
“S-she has...s-she has h-her job for as l-long as she wants,” your boss stutters.
“Good,” Andy nods before turning to you, “are you ready for lunch?”
All you can do is nod. You grab your jacket and purse before following Andy out of the building, where all eyes are on you.
“Are you okay?” he asks once you two get into his car.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you mutter, looking out the window.
If you weren’t turned on as fuck last night, you sure as shit are now.
“I’m sorry if I scared you, I didn’t mean to. I just...I saw how uncomfortable you were and I know hes been making your life hell...I just lost it.”
“Andy, I promise I’m not scared of you, I’m just...surprised.”
Surprised and wet as fuck.
“You don’t have to lie to me, babe, You’ve never seen me act like that and-”
“I swear, I’m not scared at all. No ones ever stood up for me like that and it just caught me off guard,” you smile at him as he starts the car.
“Sushi?”
“Please.”
The entire time you two are at lunch, you try to play it off and make conversation as usual, and move as little as possible (even the smallest bit of friction makes you want to moan).
However, Andy isn’t an idiot and can tell that something is off.
“Honey, you don’t need to be afraid of me. I would never act like that with you. I would never put my hands on you,” Andy sighs as he parks his car in front of the building where you work.
“Baby, you’re really okay. Honestly. I just wasn’t expecting my Monday to go like this,” you laugh softly.
“Promise me?”
“I swear. I know you love me and that you would never hurt me. Now, we both have to get back to work,” you smile at him. “Be a good boy for the rest of the day, please.”
“Yes ma’am,” he smiles as he leans in to kiss you.
You cup his face and deepen the kiss, not meaning to get carried away, but you can’t stop yourself. Every single second of every single day, Andy Barber just makes you love him more and more.
“We can go back home right now if you really want,” he says with a breathy laugh after you two break apart.
“No no, it’s okay. We both have jobs to do, I just always get wrapped up in you,” you giggle.
“I love you and I’ll see when I get home.”
“Sounds good to me. I love you, be careful please. You have a tendency to go over the speed limit,” you warn as you cock your eyebrow.
“Only when I’m desperate to see you.”
“So, all the time?”
“Yup,” he smirks and you laugh. “Get back in there and I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Counting down,” you smile, giving him a quick peck on the lips before getting out of the car.
Shockingly enough, Mr. Hathaway doesn’t bother you for the rest of the day.
Yes, there are other difficulties that stand in your path for the rest of the day, but they all revolve around Andy. It’s not just the fact that seeing Andy worked up instantly makes you want to drop to your knees, but it’s also the fact that he’s protecting you. Yeah, Jacob has gotten into arguments for you, but this is much different.
This is so much more.
Andy knows how much he stands to lose if anyone files the smallest complaint against him, how it’ll reflect his job, what the repercussions could be, and he still came into your job ready to fight. He put you first and showed everyone just how serious and committed he is to you. In that moment, all that mattered was keeping you safe and making sure that you felt safe. Even with Laurie and your father, he made sure to set a boundary and let them both know that harassing you isn’t something he takes lightly and won’t tolerate.
He’s not just telling everyone that he loves you, he’s showing it.
The minute you’re out of work, you’re racing home. Yeah, you always home before Andy, but you want to make sure you look perfect before he gets home. The second you’re in the house, you’re racing up the steps and jumping in the shower, and it’s probably the fastest shower you’ve ever taken.
Andy is usually home 20-30 minutes after you, so you know you have time, but not too much.
You brush out your hair, look for the heels he goes feral over when he sees you in them, and take out the black lingerie you were saving till next week to reveal since that’s when your anniversary is (but he’s more than earned an early reward).
You look yourself over in the mirror, making sure you look perfect, before finally positioning yourself on the bed.
“Sweetheart, I’m home!” Andy calls as he closes the door behind.
Perfect timing.
“Up here!” you respond, propping yourself on your elbows and hiking up one of your legs.
“You okay? You’re usually...holy shit,” he groans once he’s at the bedroom doorway, dropping his briefcase.
“Hi daddy,” you greet innocently.
“Sweetheart...what the fuck?”
“I just want to thank you for today...and yesterday.”
“What did I...oh, that’s why you were acting funny during lunch, isn’t it?” he smirks as he sheds his suit jacket.
“I wanted you so bad, daddy,” you whimper.
“Awh, my good little girl needed attention?” he questions as he makes his way over to the bed. “Daddy should’ve known,” he continues as he attempts to crawl onto the bed.
“You know what I want, daddy,” you pout, holding up your foot to stop him while also giving him a better view of your soaked panties.
“Jesus!”
“You know how I like it,” you whine, grabbing his tie with your right hand, “show me something first.”
“Your fucking panties are already soaked, sweet girl. At least let me see that pretty pussy,” he begs, leaning against the edge of the bed. “I at least took my jacket off.”
“How bad do you want me?”
“I think my pants are showing you just how bad I want you.”
“Only a look, daddy,” you warn innocently as you put your foot down.
Andy gently pulls your panties to the side and sighs, “I don’t think daddy can only look, sweet girl,” he moans as he licks two fingers on his free hand, sliding them into you with ease.
“Daddy!”
“Your fucking pussy is so desperate, sweet girl,” he coos, continuing to fuck you as he gets on his knees. “All I want is a taste.”
“Fuck!”
“The way this pretty fucking cunt shines for me, I think you want me to taste you.”
“Not until you-”
“Y/N! Dad!” Jacob calls as he rings the doorbell.
“Fuck!” Andy sighs against your clit, only making you moan. “You decide how long he waits, sweetheart. The quicker you cum, the quicker I’ll answer the fucking door,” he chuckles before licking your clit, fucking you harder and faster with his fingers.
“Jesus daddy!” you cry out as Jacob continues to knock on the door.
Andy’s only response is to suck and lick on your clit harder, and since your mind is in such a haze, you can’t remember if the windows are closed or not.
You pray they are.
“Dad!” Jacob calls again, banging louder as Andy adds another finger.
“Fuck! Keep it up! Keep...that’s it! I’m so...oh fuck!” you cry out, cumming hard all over Andy’s fingers.
You feel Andy’s smirk against your cunt and it only makes you clench around his fingers tighter as he fucks you through your high.
“Later, sweet girl,” he promises after he finishes cleaning you up. “Get yourself together and cover yourself up,” he chuckles as he makes his way out. “Also, you should call out tomorrow. You decided to look like this, so I’m deciding to destroy you,” he laughs before making his way downstairs. “Hey bud, I wasn’t expecting to see you today...” you hear Andy’s voice trail off.
You take a few moments to get yourself together before getting up; looking through your drawers for sweatpants and a t-shirt before finally making your way downstairs.
“Hey...guys,” you smile when you see both Jake and Sarah there, “this is a happy surprise.”
“I miss you, so I thought that, instead of calling, we’d just come by,” Sarah beams, engulfing you in a hug.
“I miss you too,” you laugh, wrapping her in a hug that’s just as tight. “What’s up?”
“Well, we were thinking that we’d all go out to dinner this Saturday,” she smiles at Jacob before turning back to you. “Nothing special, we just figured...it would be good for all of us.”
“We can just do dinner here-”
“No, lets get out. It doesn’t help anything to stay inside all day, so lets go out and do shit. Go bowling, skating, the movies, dinner...lets just fucking go out.”
“Sarah, what if people-”
“Who gives a fuck about people?” Jacob interrupts, and a smile is instantly painted across your face. “We know the truth and that’s all that matters. Lets just go out and have fun. We’re gonna have to get used to it anyway.”
“I guess you’re right,” you smile weakly, knowing that he has a point but still not wanting to deal with it. “I guess we can go to-”
“That Italian restaurant you love so much on North street,” Andy with interjects with a smile, looking at you.
“Are you guys okay with that?” you ask sheepishly, afraid of breaking any of the little progress that’s been made in the last two days.
“That’s actually perfect,” Jacob laughs, “Sarah’s been wanting to go for the last two weeks, so this kinda kills two birds with one stone. Are you two getting into anything tonight?”
“We actually were about to call the dog adoption center we went to the other day to see if there’s any news,” Andy lies with a smile.
Oh you’re definitely calling out of work tomorrow.
“Yeah, I have a voicemail from them, I was gonna ask about that. What kind of dog?”
“A German Shepherd!” you beam.
“I was not expecting that at all,” Jacob laughs softly. “I’ll get back to them for you. Sarah’s cooking tonight so say a prayer,” he chuckles and she flips him off. “We’ll see you guys this Saturday.”
“Sounds good,” you smile, hugging him first then Sarah.
You know that Sarah is the one who setup impromptu visit and you want to try and figure out what’s going on, but with the way Andy just gripped your hair and yanked it, you know won’t be able to think about anything for a while.
“Get upstairs, undressed, and on the fucking bed,” he growls hotly as they pull off.
You don’t need to be told twice.
You practically run up the steps, get undressed, and put the heels back on before getting back on the bed.
Andy loves fucking you in these heels.
“Now, where were we?��� he questions, walking in and loosening his tie.
“You’re not playing fair, daddy,” you whimper, biting your bottom lip as he throws his tie to the ground.
“Don’t be a brat,” he warns as he unbuttons cuffs of sleeves; rolling them up.
“Daddy, please-”
“What did I say?” he chastises, slapping your clit as he gets on his knees. “Did you call out of work yet?”
“No,” you moan, running one of your hands through his hair and gripping it tight, as he licks your clit.
“Call him,” he demands, sliding two fingers into your soaked cunt.
“Da-daddy-”
“Call. Him.” he demands, adding a third finger.
You keep your eyes on him as you reach for your phone. As you start to dial Mr. Hathaway’s number, Andy starts to fuck you faster with his fingers. By the time you press the phone your ear, you barely aware of what words are.
“Such a good little girl,” he praises, before dipping down and sucking on your clit.
“Hello?” your boss answers as you gasp.
God help you.
“H-hello, Mr. Hathaway,” you gasp Andy starts pulling your clit with his lips.
“Y/N? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m f-fine, I’m just not feeling all that great. I-I...I won’t be able to make it in tomorrow,” you try to articulate as Andy curls his fingers, finding that makes you come to life for him.
You’re in love with a fucking menace.
“Yeah, you don’t sound so great,” he comments and you wonder how bad he has to be at sex to not get a woman to make the sounds you easily make for Andy every single time.
You lull your head and Andy slaps your thigh, “I’m hoping to be better by...by tomorrow. I’ll let...let you know,” you whine, focusing your attention back on Andy, whose intense gaze is sending chills down your spine.
“Sounds good, get some rest,” your boss encourages before hanging up.
“FUCK!” you cry out, making a mess all over Andy’s face as he smirks against your clit and you toss your phone...somewhere.
“You did so good, baby,” he coos, fucking through your high. “You wanna taste?”
The only thing you can think to do is nod.
“Use your words,” he growls, slapping your cunt.
“Fuck! Yes daddy! I wanna taste, please!”
“Such a filthy little thing,” he chuckles kicking off his shoes as he slowly starts kissing up your body. “Talking to your boss while I fuck you senseless with my fingers and tongue? The way this pretty little cunt clenched around my fingers...desperate little whore.”
“Daddy please!”
“Open,” he demands as he removes his fingers from your cunt. When you instantly open your mouth, he mockingly laughs at you as he places his fingers in your mouth, “pathetic. Clean.”
Just as you start to suck and lick on is fingers, he’s pulling down the strap on the right side of your bra, and licking and sucking on your nipple. Your response is to moan, and grind yourself against him, desperate for any form of release he’ll be nice enough to give you.
“Gonna have to teach you a lesson in patience one day,” he husks after releasing your nipple with a ‘pop’. “However, daddy needs to be deep inside this perfect little pussy,” he smirks, sitting up and unbuttoning his shirt. “Take that fucking bra off before I rip it off.”
You sit up just a bit, unhooking your bra and quickly tossing it aside before starting to unbuckle his belt.
“Did daddy tell you to do that?” he questions, gripping your face after he tosses his shirt and wife beater onto the floor.
“Just wanna help, daddy!”
“Sure you do,” chuckles as he reaches behind himself and rips off your panties, throwing them onto the heap of clothes that’s on the floor.
“Daddy!”
“I’ll get you a new pair, now lay back,” he promises condescendingly, pushing back just a little as his hand travels down to your throat, gripping it tight. “You are so fucking perfect, ya know that?” he praises, shimmying out of his pants and boxer briefs.
“Please!”
“And you’re all mine, right?” he questions, thrusting himself inside of you.
“Fuck! Yes daddy! I belong to you only!”
“Good girl! Fuck, this pussy is so fucking wet!”
“Please, don’t stop! Been wanting this since...since last night!”
“You like it when I show people who you fucking belong to?”
You moan in response and Andy rolls his eyes and slaps one of your tits.
“Use. Your. Words,” he demands as he picks up the pace.
“Yes! I love...I love when...when you show people that I’m your whore!”
“Ya know, we never got to make that movie,” he teases with a sinister smirk and you clench around him. “Oh, you still want to?”
“I wanna do anything you want me to do,” you mindlessly mumble, digging your heels into the bed, hoping that you’re not ripping up the sheets too bad. “I love pleasing you, daddy! I love you!”
“Such a perfect girl,” he groans, grabbing his phone off the nightstand. “You are so fucking perfect!”
“Please! I need to let go!”
“I know, sweet girl, look at the camera,” he urges as his other hand wraps around your throat and he picks up his pace.
“Daddy!”
“Does it feel good when I fuck you like this? When I treat you like the whore you are?”
“Oh God, YES! You make my...my pussy feel s-so good!”
“Jesus, Y/N! You keep clenching me-”
“Feels...feels too good! Can’t stop!”
“The way your perfect tits bounce...God, has anyone ever told you that you’re the perfect little cum dumpster? This fucking pussy squeezes me like a fucking dream!”
“I can’t...fuck!” you mewl as your eyes roll back and you clench Andy’s shoulder.
“C’mon, sweet girl, look at daddy! Look at daddy when you cum!”
“Too much!” you shake your head as your body starts to shake and tears start running down your face.
“Look at me, sweet girl! Don’t make me punish you!”
“Fuck!” you cry out, turning your gaze back to him and his phone. “Do I look good for you, daddy? Do I look like your perfect slut?”
“Jesus, sweet girl! Give it to me! Cream on daddy’s cock!”
“JESUS FUCKING CHIRST!” you exclaim, squirting on his cock as you try to keep your focus on him as your whole reaches a new level of pleasure.
This is how it was supposed to go the first time.
“Look at those fucking tears! You look so beautiful, baby,” he praises, riding out your high. “Now, I want you choke on my fat cock while you clean it before I fuck that perfect little ass, and you watch yourself be the perfect little slut that you are.”
“Use me however you want, please,” you sob pathetically.
You’re so desperate to please Andy in any way that he wants, that you don’t care how desperate or pathetic you sound or look. If it’ll get him off on the days when you can’t you don’t care how desperate you look. You are desperate for him. For his love, his approval, his care, his touch, and his desire. Andrew Steven Barber can take and do whatever he wants from you, and all you’ll do is beg for more.
“Fuck, remember the first time you sucked daddy’s cock? My good little girl couldn’t take it without help from daddy, but now look at you! Look at how fucking well you take what daddy has to give you!” he groans, still filming you as you look up at him. “The perfect little cock whore!”
You whine, needing to feel him inside you again, and he smirks.
“Okay sweet girl, hands and knees for daddy,” he instructs once he stops recording, throwing his phone to the edge of the bed.
You don’t realize just how weak you are until you sit up and your legs start to shake.
“Don’t tell me you’re worn out already,” he teases as he slaps your ass.
“No daddy,” you moan, arching back as you hear him open the bottle of lube, “I need more of you!”
“That’s a good girl,” he coos as he coats your puckered hole. “Press play,” is all he says before pushing his way inside.
“FUCK, DADDY!” you cry out, hitting play and trying to pay attention.
“See how beautiful you look? So fucked out and desperate,” he grunts, gripping your hips as he starts fucking into you hard and fast. “Just the most perfect little whore!”
“Fuck! Daddy please don’t stop!” you whimper, doing your best to focus on the video in front of you, gripping the sheets as you try and hold on.
“I love looking at that gorgeous face, sweet girl! You take daddy’s cock so well and you look so fucking perfect when you’re all fucked out! Look at your fucking cream on my cock! The way you cry out with every thrust!”
“Oh my God!” you mewl, lulling your head back.
“No sweet girl, focus,” he coos as he wraps an arm around your waist and starts massaging your clit.
“Oh daddy!”
Between him fucking you into heaven, you watching him fucking you senseless, and hearing what he was saying only moments ago, you can’t even think straight.
“You’re not being a good girl,” he growls, using the hand he was massaging your clit with to grip your face and force your attention on his phone. “Look at how fucking gorgeous you are!”
“Fuck!”
“You see what I see every time I fuck this perfect little body? I want you to see just how beautiful you are!”
“Fuck daddy! Please!”
“You are mine. I’ll never let some asshole hurt or abuse you! Never let anyone make you feel small!”
“Daddy!”
“I love you so much, sweet girl!”
“I lo...I love...shit!”
“My sweetest girl, I will always love you,” he grunts as his movements become erratic, “look how well you take my fat cock!” he whispers against the shell of your ear before licking it.
“P-please! Need...need to...fuck!”
“You gonna explode for daddy?”
“Y-yes! I can’t...please! Feels too good!”
“Do it, sweet girl! Soak the fucking bed!”
“HOLY FUCK!” you cry out, legs almost giving out as you squirt hard all over the bed, clenching around nothing as Andy fills your ass.
He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest, ridding out his high as the video you two made still plays in the background. You whimper in dissatisfaction as he pulls out, even though you know you need a break, and grip the sheets tighter at the sound of him moaning as he watches his release seep out of your ass.
Who knew your knight and shining armor could be so filthy?
“Are you okay? Was I too rough?” he asks as he smooths one of his hands over your ass.
“No daddy, I’m perfect.”
“Good, cause we’re just getting started.”
Andy doesn’t take it easy with you, but it’s not like you’re “Little Miss Queen of Safety” either. You both take turns, marking each other up, leaving hickies on different spots of one another, getting lost in each other, filming one another, and surrendering to one another. You had no idea that your little ‘thank you’ would set him off so much, but it’s not like you’re mad about it.
“That’s right, baby! Ride daddy’s cock!” Andy encourages as brace yourself against his chest, knowing that this time will be the final time for you.
“Daddy...I can’t-”
“Yes you can, sweet girl! Bring us both off! Daddy loves the way you take his cock, sweetheart!” “Fuck! I’m so fucking...daddy!”
“I know, sweet girl! Be a good girl and give daddy everything, cause you are daddy’s good girl...right?”
Nodding seems to be the only thing you’re capable of at this point.
“Use your fucking words,” he demands, gripping your neck tight, only making you clench around him tight. “Shit!”
“You’re my good girl, right?!”
“J-Jesus! Fuck y-yes! I-I’m only yours, daddy! Made for you...fuck! I’m gonna...oh God!”
“Give it to me!”
“FUCK!” you cry out as your orgasm overwhelms you and you collapse against him.
“Good girl!” he praises as he spills his seed into you for what feels like the hundredth time.
You lay against him as he rides out both your highs and he wraps his arm around you tight. Neither of you says a word as you try to regulate your breathing; trying to come back down to earth.
“You...you okay, sweetheart?” he pants after a bit.
“Ye...yes, baby.”
“Did I take it too far?”
“Y...you never do.”
“I didn’t mean to get so s...selfish-”
“I love when you are.”
“I love you,” he smiles at you.
“I love you, baby.”
You give yourself a few more minutes before finally pushing yourself up and making your way off off him, and collapsing onto your back.
You wish you two always had time to make each other feel this good.
“Laurie...she didn’t like me defending or sticking up for her. At the time, I thought it was because I was embarrassing her or something, but then I figured out that she just didn’t want anyone to think we were too serious about each other. That she was serious about me.”
“Baby...”
“You getting that worked up and excited about me protecting you...claiming you, it just got me...I keep learning, every day, that you show your love for me in different ways. I know that you’re learning how to accept and love, but so am I, sweetheart. I’m learning all over again and I’m so happy to learn with you.”
You turn over on your side, pull him close, and kiss him deeply. It’s nothing like the sensual and sultry kisses you two were giving each other for hours prior, but passionate and sweet. It isn’t necessarily urgent, but it’s longing. You’re longing for him to know just how much you’ll always love him and that you’ll never leave him. Desperate for him to know that he can take his time with trusting you and feeling secure in the relationship.
Desperate for him to know that you’re all in just as much as he is.
“What are we gonna do about dinner?” he breathes once you two breakaway and you burst out laughing.
“I’m gonna need at least another 20 minutes before I can confidently get out of bed.”
“Are you sure I wasn’t too rough? I know you like it, but I feel like I get too carried away.”
“Baby, I wish we could get carried away like this all the time,” you giggle as you caress the side of his face; his beard gently scratching your palm. “Yes, I love the softer and passionate sex, but they’re times I need it rough and you give me exactly what I need. I’m not some delicate little flower that you need to worry about. Until I say it’s too much, it’s not,” you promise.
“You are truly something else,” he smiles before pulling you in for another passionate kiss.
Eventually, you two get out of bed, shower, then make your way downstairs into the kitchen, and since your body is still recovering from your adventurous evening with Andy, he’s the one who makes dinner while you find you something to watch on TV. Once you decide on ‘The Misfits’, you join Andy in the kitchen, make yourself a glass of wine, hop on the kitchen island, and easily fall into a debate about why cookie dough ice cream is better than plain vanilla ice cream.
Once again, your life feels like a dream.
Dinner (lamb, broccoli, and mashed potatoes) is spent on the couch, barely paying attention to the movie, as you two continue your ice cream debate.
“I know you wanted to wreck my body, but why else did you want me to call out?” you question as you scoop more ice cream onto your spoon as Andy starts laughing.
“I miss hanging out with you. I thought we could just take the day to do whatever we want. We can go check on Louie and then do whatever we want from then on. Today and the weekend were a bit much, so I figured we should just take a timeout for a day.”
“You are the most thoughtful man in the world, did you know that?”
“You’ve mentioned it a time or two,” he smiles at you.
There’s truly no better feeling in the world than being loved by Andrew Barber.
He’s so patient and considerate with you, that you forget. You forget that he’s sorting out and working through his own shit. He never makes it as obvious as you do that he’s still healing. You can’t help but get frustrated with yourself for not noticing. It’s obviously not that you don’t care, but when he says nothing, it’s hard for you to get out of your own head for a single second, cause you’re still trying to accept that he’s sticking by your side and that all of this is real.
He’s real.
You two spend the first half of your day off at the pet store, because Andy’s more than sure that you two are going to adopt Louie, so he wants to make sure the house is ready. After everything is set up, you both spend an hour at the shelter just bonding with Louie (because unbeknownst to you, Andy’s been talking with the shelter since you fell in love with Louie), playing with and just making him feel comfortable. You find yourself getting emotional towards the end, because Louie can’t decide if he’s more in love with you or Andy.
Once again, the week feels like a dream because it’s just and Andy at the end of the day. No one at work gives you any shit, your boss seems to finally understand that he needs to back off, and you and Andy live in your own little world the second he gets home from work.
However, no dream lasts forever.
“Alright,” Sarah starts as you all walk in to Fiorella’s Cucina, “I need everyone to keep me on track tonight, cause this diet sucks and I want everything,” she whines and you laugh.
“You don’t need a diet!”
“I need to stay in shape!”
“One day of indulgence won’t kill you!”
“It leads you down a dark path, my friend,” Sarah jokingly forebodes as you all take your seats. “You’ll see once two are engaged,” she laughs.
You notice Jacob awkwardly squirm in his seat and instantly grab Andy’s hand under the table out of anxiety, “we’ve got time,” you laugh awkwardly.
“So, you two have talked about marriage?” Jacob asks after the waitress walks off with the drink order.
“In passing,” Andy shrugs, keeping an eye on his menu and in that moment, you’re truly grateful.
You’re grateful because he understands that you’re not shying away from the question because you’re ashamed, but because you’re afraid of screwing up any progress being made.
It’s obvious he is too.
“Hows work been?” Sarah smiles at you as she puts her menu down.
“Ha! Work has been...eventful, to say the least,” you snicker, closing your menu and placing it down. You notice a few tables that are whispering and glancing over at all of you, but you do your best to ignore it. “I’m thinking about leaving soon. I’ve been looking around, but I also don’t actually know what I want to do. I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t think I ever have.”
“You always figure it out in the end,” Jacob smiles softly as the waiter comes over and drops of the drinks.
“Are you ready to order or do you need more time?” he asks politely.
You’re all set to answer until you hear the lady at the table next to you say, “I know he’s the District Attorney, but does he really not have any shame? It’s not enough for him bring his murderous son everyone, but now he has to flaunt his new young whore around? God, I can’t even begin to imagine how or what Laurie must be feeling!”
“It wasn’t enough for her to ruin that teacher’s life, apparently. She clearly didn’t think the Barbers had gone through enough. What a tramp.”
One of these days, you’ll learn to control your anger, but today isn’t that day.
“You wanna say that again?!” you snap, turning around and facing them.
They both just stare at you with wide eyes while they stammer.
“What’s wrong? You were both chatty as hell a second ago! Go on! Andy’s an asshole, Jacob’s murderer, and I’m a tramp, isn’t that right?!”
“Sweetheart, just-” Andy starts, trying to calm you down.
“No Andy! Everyone seems to know everything, because your unhinged ex-wife made sure to spread her little bullshit story to everyone! So, since everyone knows all the fucking facts, I don’t see why they’re being so fucking quiet now!”
“Listen,” one of the women starts, “Laurie said-”
“Has it ever occurred to anyone in this stupid fucking town that they’re two sides to every story, and that unless you’re actually involved in the situation you should shut the fuck up and mind your own business?!”
Yes, all eyes are on you now, but it’s not like you actually give a fuck. You’re so over all of this shit and you want nothing more than to punch Laurie in the face.
“We’re sorr-”
“Shove it up your own ass,” you scowl, throwing your napkin down as you grab your purse before storming out.
The second you lean against Andy’s car, you start crying. Yes, it’s out of pure rage and anger, but you still find yourself annoyed with yourself because why do you keep letting it get to you? Why do you keep letting this piece of shit town bring you down? You know it’s never going to change, so why can’t you just ignore it?
“Oh sweetheart,” Andy coos as he approaches the car.
“I could wring her fucking neck, Andy. I swear to God.”
“It’s not going to solve anything, darlin’,” he sighs as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a tight and loving hug. “The only real option is to move.”
“Why should we have to?! Why should either of us have to give up another fucking thing for Laurie?!” you sob angrily, clinging to his shirt as if it’s the only thing keeping you upright. “Why does she always win?!”
“This is all my fault. I should’ve-”
“No, it’s her fault! It’s this town’s fault!”
“Sweetheart, we can just-”
“I am so sorry!” Sarah proclaims as she comes up to you and Andy. “Those assholes had no right!”
“No, I shouldn’t have-”
“They should’ve kept their fucking mouths shut! You had every right to go off on them!”
“I really have to stop lashing out at people.”
“It’s long overdue if you ask me,” she huffs. “Do you wanna go back you guys’ place and just order something?”
“You still wanna hangout with me?” you chuckle humorlessly, wiping your eyes.
“Of course we do! Right, babe?” she calls over her shoulder to Jacob.
“Yeah,” he responds softly.
You can’t tell if he’s upset about what happened or something else but, at the moment, you don’t have the energy to ask. You just wanna go home and forget about dinner.
“I guess just follow behind us,” you encourage weakly before getting in Andy’s car.
The entire drive home, Andy keeps trying to calm you down, but you just disappear into yourself. You don’t mean to and you want to be there for him, but you feel like all you do is making things harder for and embarrass him. Why can’t you just swallow it down and not lash out? Andy, Sarah, and Jacob know the truth, so why can’t that just be enough for you?
It doesn’t help that you feel like you’re being incredibly selfish. No, he’s not going to say it because he doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but Andy needs you. If you’re pissed off, you know he is too. You want to look past your own rage, but in this moment, you just can’t see a way past it. You’re not just angry for yourself, you’re in a rage for him too. Yeah, hes told you time and time again that he doesn’t mind dealing with all of the negative and horrible things people say when it comes to him and him being with you, but you’re not.
Hes been through so much already and you just don’t see how you’re worthy of any of his patience and love. His or Jacob’s for that matter.
By the time you two get home, you have a headache from both your crying and the internal war you’re at with yourself.
“Hey, would it be okay if I talk to my dad outback for a bit?” Jacob asks once you’re all inside.
All you do is nod before kicking off your shoes and heading upstairs. You hear soft footsteps behind you and you know it’s Sarah.
“This is all my fault and I’m so sorry,” she sighs as soon as you two are in you and Andy’s bedroom.
“How is this your fault? You didn’t tell those two old bitches to be cunts,” you mutter as you rifle through Andy’s drawer for his Soundgarden t-shirt.
Yeah, it’s old and worn, they’re a few holes in it, and it swallows you whole; but it feels like a hug every time you put it on.
“Jacob and I...you know hes been pissing me off lately. No, I’m not about to break off the engagement, but I’m over his “poor me” attitude. He swears that you and Mr. Barber don’t have a hard time, and that he has to deal with the backlash of this. His mom, his friends, the town...his dad dating his much younger best friend. He gets so wrapped up in his own head sometimes that he really doesn’t fucking see anything else. I get it, the whole thing with the trial and everything...but he needs to realize that not everything revolves around him, so that’s why I pushed for dinner for tonight,” she sighs regretfully. “I only thought there would be stares or eye rolls, especially at a place like that,” she sighs as you finally find Andy’s shirt; quickly discarding your shirt and putting Andy’s on.
“I mean, it wasn’t the best plan,” you scoff, “but there’s still nothing for you to be sorry about. You didn’t tell those cunts to be assholes.”
“We wouldn’t have had to deal with it-”
“We wouldn’t have had to deal with it if Laurie wasn’t a cunt. Yeah, everyone in this town already sucks and is a total idiot, but Laurie made sure to spread her venom. I’m not going to be mad at you for looking out for me, you and Andy are the only people I’ve been able to depend on for a while.”
“Have you spoken to your parents at all?”
“Not since the outburst at Laurie’s house.”
“I can’t believe your mother just lashed out at you like that.”
“I can and I can’t at the same time,” you sigh as you lay back on the bed.
Sarah looks around the room and smiles before saying, “you two are really happy, aren’t you?”
“We really are,” you smile with teary eyes.
“It won’t always be like this, babe.”
“I know, Andy and I tell each other that all the time, but it’s just hard right now.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Not really, no. Thanks for making Jake understand that this isn’t simple or easy for us at all,” you chuckle humorlessly.
“He’s coming around,” she sighs as she takes a seat at the edge of the bed. “He just needs to get the fuck out of his own head.”
“Yeah, that’s always been a problem for him.”
“You’re not wrong,” she scowls.
“Babe! Y/N! Can you guys get down here so we can decide on dinner?!”
“Didn’t they shoo us away so they can have a talk?” Sarah mutters as you burst out laughing as you both get up and make your way downstairs.
“Have either of you decided on anything?” you question as both you and Sarah enter the kitchen; you walking over to the cabinet and grabbing four glasses.
“Well, I know you wanted Italian, but now you’re upset, so I was thinking Asian or Thai,” Andy suggests as he wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head.
“I’m sorry about that,” you mumble, leaning into him before turning to face Jacob, “I’m sorry to you too.”
“No, you had every right to go off on those assholes. They were out of line,” he murmurs with a frustrated glare as he rubs the back of his neck.
You realize that you and Andy are probably making him uncomfortable, so you go to break away, but Andy’s hold on you only tightens.
Oh God, what the hell did they talk about?
“I feel like I know what everyone wants to drink, but I’ll ask just to be polite,” you smile.
“Wine, please,” Sarah whines as she takes a seat at the kitchen isle.
“Whiskey,” Jacob laughs, taking a seat next to her.
“You already know what I want,” Andy chuckles.
“So, I was right about everyone? Got it,” you smile as you try and get
out of Andy’s hold. “You have to let me go so I can make the drinks,” you laugh.
“Are you okay?”
“I will be. Still just adjusting, I guess,” you sigh, fighting back your tears of pure frustration.
You refuse to focus on it for the rest of the night.
“I love you,” he whispers into your hair before kissing it, finally letting go
of you so you can make the drinks. “So, what do you want?” he asks a little
more loudly, leaning against the sink.
“Lets do Asian.”
“Duck Sauce?”
“Oishi.”
“My sneaky little queen,” he smirks. “The usual? Spicy calamari,
steamed dumplings, and Saki?”
“You know me better than anyone else,” you smirk, getting on your tip
toes and kissing his cheek.
“Jake, I know you like the back of my hand, “Andy laughs, “Sarah, you
wanna help me set up karaoke in the next room while you tell me your order?”
he asks as he grabs his drink.
“Sounds good to me,” she smiles, grabbing her drink before hoping off
her seat and following Andy.
Just you and Jacob. Great.
“I’ve been a dick and I’m sorry,” Jacob sighs, sipping his drink as you
lean against the countertop.
“Jake-”
“Please don’t. Just fucking don’t. You don’t owe me shit. I should know better, especially after all the shit I went through and I still...Sarah was right...God, I’ll never hear the end of it,” he scoffs and you chuckle. “It’s weird for me, Y/N. You’re my best friend and you’re in love with my dad. However, you’re my best friend and you’ve needed me.”
“Jake-”
“Just let me say it,” he begs, taking another sip before taking a deep
breath. “You deserved better. You’ve been by my side through everything and I just...I let you down, Y/N. I can see it now. How much you two love each other, how dedicated you are to one another, how genuine all of it is...I can see it now. I think I was just being angry for my mom at first, but after everything happened, I was angry because you didn’t tell me, but how could you? How could handle my outburst when you already knew it would be a disaster? That wasn’t fair of me at all. You’ve gone out of way time after time to show just how much you love and will look out for me, and when the time came for me to show up for you...I failed. I failed on so many levels and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
You take a moment before saying, “Jake, I need to know that you’ll be okay with this. I can’t keep dealing with you going back and forth. I am in love with Andy, your father, and that’s never going to change. I need you to accept that.”
“I do. We had a talk...I know how much you mean to him and how serious he is. When I thought about it, the times when I saw him after he moved out and I thought he discovered he just needed some space, he was with you. Since hes been with you, hes been so happy. The happiest I’ve ever seen him...and so have you,” he smiles softly as he gets up and rounds the isle. “All I’ve ever wanted is for the both of you to be happy, and now that you two have each other...I can handle it. The hell you have to deal with is so much more than I ever imagined. What makes it worse is that my mom is the reason for all of this being so terrible, but you two...he told me about the other day with your boss, then seeing you today...I know it’s real,” he finishes softly as he wraps you in one of tightest hugs hes ever given you and you sob into his chest. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry. You needed me and I wasn’t there, but I promise it’ll never happen again.”
“I’ve missed you, Jacob,” you sob as you wrap your arms around him.
“I’ve missed you too, Y/N,” he sobs into your hair.
“We’re good?” you smile up a him as you back away.
“You tell me.”
“I was never mad at you.”
“Of course you weren’t,” he scoffs as he wipes his eyes, “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too,” you smile as you wipe your own eyes.
“Jesus, lets get in there, huh?” he laughs, sniffling a little.
“Sounds good,” you laugh in agreement.
As the night goes on, everyone relaxes and falls into a comfortable conversation. By the time the food arrives, you and Sarah have taken over karaoke, belting out ‘Just Like Heaven’ by The Cure, while Andy and Jacob just laugh and encourage the both of you.
On the one hand, everything feels so much better and lighter, and you finally feel like you can breathe again. On the order, you feel like all you do is make Andy’s life harder, and that’s the last thing you want.
“What’s wrong?” Andy sighs as you two get ready for bed.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t, sweetheart. Please. You feel so far away and no matter how hard I tried tonight, I couldn’t reach you. What did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything,” you mumble; your eyes start to water because you feel awful.
It seems you always feel awful.
“I thought tonight went well? At least the ending.”
“It was a great ending,” you sob.
You and the fucking tears.
“Sweetheart-”
“I can’t keep making things harder for you! You need me and I’m so fucking selfish! Getting lost in my own fucking feelings and shutting down, lashing out at people-”
“Honey, you’re allowed all of those things! It’s okay to-”
“No it’s not! Not when you need me! I’m not the only one going through this! I’m not the only one who’s furious-”
“Do you love me?” he interrupts softly.
“What?”
“Do you love me?”
“You know I do.”
“Then stop it. Please stop beating yourself up. The way defended me today? The things you said when you screamed at Laurie? I know how much you love me and that you’re always going to be here for me. I also know that you’ve never been with someone who lets you feel what you’re feeling. People take from you and give nothing back and you’re still adjusting. I always knew this wouldn’t be overnight thing and I’m fine with that. You don’t need to keep apologizing for feeling the things you do. Good or bad. You’re not making my life harder at all, and I’m still so damn happy and proud to be with you.”
“Andy...” you sob softly, trying to collect yourself.
“Oh, my sweet girl,” he sighs before grabbing his phone and making his way over to you. “You are perfect to me.”
“Andy, I’m not-”
“To me, you are. You are perfect and I wouldn’t change a thing about you,” he smiles as he wraps his arms around you. “It’s been a while since we slow danced.”
“You wanna slow dance now?” you scoff, wiping your eyes.
“I always want to dance with my perfect woman,” he smiles before hitting play on his phone before tossing it down.
When ‘Crown of Thorns’ by Mother Love Bone starts playing, you can’t stop yourself from laughing.
“You know this is an anti-love song love song, right?” you laugh as you two start to move as one to the music.
“Yeah, but this is my kind of love, and I’ll be happy to tell you that every day for the rest of our lives,” he chuckles softly as he holds you closer.
As you two move together in silence, you rest your head on his chest and think about all the hell you two have gone through to get to this point. All of the smiles, tears, pain, laughter, arguments and so much more...it’s all been worth it, and you can’t imagine yourself being any happier than you are now. No, it isn’t perfect and you know there will be more obstacles to come, but Andy’s right:
This is your kind of love.
Andy’s P.O.V.
It’s been two weeks since the incident at the restaurant and I’m still no closer to not wanting to scream at Laurie. Hell, the only reason I haven’t is because you begged me not to. Yes, there was that small bright spot when you got the call that we were going to be able to adopt Louie, but it was short lived.
God, you were so adorable that day. I didn’t think I could fall anymore in love with you than I was, but you proved me wrong.
“Babe, he’s fine,” I laughed as you looked down at the excited puppy in your lap.
“I just wanna make sure! What should we name him? Cause Louie is an awful name, isn’t it?” you asked the pup in a baby voice, and he just licked your nose. “Andy, I love him so much!”
“And he loves you.”
“We need a name!”
“Albert,” I smirked and your smile instantly went away.
“Andy, I love you with all my heart, but if you don’t take this seriously, I will leave you out of all decision making for the foreseeable future.”
“Okay, okay,” I laughed as I came up to a stop sign, “how about Lucky?”
“I feel like that’s such a common name for dogs.”
“Yeah, but he’s a lucky pup! He has you for a mom.”
“Don’t start,” you smiled at me as I pulled off.
I fucking love being the reason that you smile.
“Oh! What was the name of that stuffed dog you had when you were a child?”
“Buttons?”
“Yeah! Name him Buttons!”
“I don’t think he’ll respond to-”
When you were interrupted by a tiny little bark, I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“You like that?” you excitedly asked, only to be met with another bark. “Then Buttons it is!”
“Shit, I knew I forgot something,” I scowled. “Babe, we gotta go to the vitamin store.”
That’s when your demeanor changed.
“Um can you drop us off at home first?” you asked so softly I barely heard you. “I want him to get used to his new home.”
That was 100% unlike you. You used to love going to the vitamin store with me, but you love to give me shit about how many more I taken now than when we first started dating. When I looked over at you, your face said it all.
You were scared.
Between Laurie’s lie and your outburst at the restaurant, you’re afraid to go out anymore. Afraid of the stares, the murmurs, the judgemental glares...home is the only place you feel safe anymore and I hate that. I hate that I can’t just shield you from everything and everyone. I know you feel safe with me, but I also know that no matter how much I tell you not to, you worry about how people view me and what they’ll think of me when they see me with you.
You’re afraid to go out because you think you embarrass me and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I know I can’t force you into anything, and I never would, but it’s so fucking frustrating to feel like we’re right back where we started.
Hiding.
All I want is to take you out and show you how happy I and proud I am that I get to be with you. How happy I am that you chose me. I’ve never been ashamed of you and I never will be, and I know that you’ll get there in time, but we had made so much progress and now this.
Fucking Laurie.
“Hey, Andy!” Neal calls after me once I’m outside.
Great.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I wanted to know if you have a minute to talk.”
“I’m kinda in a rush right now, is it really important?”
“It can wait, don’t worry about it,” he smiles but it looks forced.
“You sure? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, we’ll talk about it another time,” he nods with an awkward smile.
What the hell is going on now?
I give him a quick wave before rushing off to my car and speeding to the florist. I don’t want to leave you by yourself for too long, not with how you’ve been feeling lately. No, you don’t lie to me, but you also won’t tell me what’s going on with you unless I ask. Before we started dating, you would tell me everything so easily. Now, you’re constantly afraid of needing me, depending on me, because you think it’ll push me away.
It’s the most infuriating thing because we got so fucking far. The moment you were finally feeling comfortable and secure in our relationship, everything went to shit, and now we’re fighting like hell to get back to where we were. I know you believe me when I say I’m not going anywhere, but it’s not like it’s hard to see why it’s so easy for you to slip back into your shell. Your parents and Jacob turned on you in an instant, so of course you keep wondering when something will happen that I’ll think is too much and turn on you. There’s nothing I want more than to propose, God knows I’ve had that ring for over a year, but not like this. Not when you’re still trying to get your footing and figure this all out. It’s not fair to you at all and I don’t want to add more pressure when you’re already feeling overwhelmed.
No, when I finally propose it’ll be perfect and what you deserve.
“Sweetheart!” I call out as soon as I step inside our home, greeted by a sleepy but very excited Buttons. “Hey bud, where’s Mama?” I ask as I squat down to greet him.
“In the kitchen, babe!” you call, and I swear it’s music to my ears.
I missed you so damn much.
“Lets go visit her,” I whisper to Buttons before getting up and starting on my short trip.
I’ve seen you in my t-shirts a million times, but it’s something I’ll never tire of. You will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me, I don’t care what you wear.
“These are for you.”
“Andy! You didn’t...these are beautiful!” you beam as you take the bouquet of white lilies from me, eyes watering just a little.
“I wanted to. It’s long overdue. Hey, why don’t you throw on some shorts and we’ll go out. Take the night off.”
“No...no, that’s okay. I don’t mind. I finally decided on what to make-”
“Sweetheart, we can’t stay in the house forever.”
“I know and I don’t plan to, but-”
“But what?”
“It’s only been two weeks, Andy,” you sigh as tears start to well up in your eyes. “I can’t keep-”
“People can’t keep disrespecting you. Those women were out of line and Laurie was way out of line. I snapped on your boss in front of everyone, you don’t see me hiding.”
“That’s different, you’re you and I’m-”
“What does that even mean?”
“You’re well respected and I’ve never been-”
“Sweetheart,” I sigh, dropping my briefcase, “I love you. I worship the ground you walk on, and I adore the hell out of you. That’s never going to change.”
“Andy, I know-”
“Hey,” I coo, doing my best to show you that I’m not angry or annoyed as cup your face, “it’s me and you forever. We’ve got this. Are you in love with me?”
“You know I am,” you softly sob.
“And I am desperately in love, so please don’t worry. I’ve been telling you since we started this; I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks or has to say. The only thing I care about is your happiness.”
I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for, sweetheart, I promise. It’s all going to be okay,” I try to reassure you before kissing you.
We’ve kissed a million times, and I still go weak at the touch of your lips. Always soft, always welcoming, always meant for me; I could kiss you all day, every day, for eternity. Your grip tightens the second I go to pull away and you pull me closer.
How is it that you always leave me in a dazed and confused state every time we kiss?
“Honey...don’t,” I whisper as we break apart.
I don’t know why I ever put a fight because it’s not like I ever want to stop loving you. I need and want you all the damn time, so telling you ‘no’ is really a waste of breath for the both of us, but I always need you to know that this is what you want. You can control everything about us and I need to know that it’s what you want, and not just my baser instinct taking control.
“I just want you, Andy. I want you to make me feel only the way you can,” you hush, looking up at me with those innocent eyes of yours.
“You don’t have to-”
“I want you, baby. I’ve felt so far from you and I know that’s on me...I just want to get tangled up in you for a while.”
In almost no time at all, we’re upstairs in our bedroom, and you’re undressing me as if your life depends on it. You’re ready to get on your knees. Any other time I would happily accept it, but this isn’t the time.
“No sweetheart, take off the shirt and get on the bed for me.”
“Andy-”
“Get on the bed, baby. Take off that shirt and let me watch you get warmed up for me. I wanna take my time with you,” I breathe, my gaze on your intensity as you slowly stand up, making your way to the bed.
Our bed.
“Open up those pretty little legs for me, baby. I need to see just how much you need me, right now,” I groan, stroking myself at the sight of you naked on our bed.
Our bed. Our home. Our room. I’ll never get over the fact that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. Every second of every day will be spent loving and taking care of you. I’m so fucking happy about that.
“Andy,” you whimper, slowly sliding two fingers into your pussy as your other hand plays with one of your breasts, “please, don’t keep me waiting!”
“Need to hear just how bad you want it, sweetheart,” I tease.
“You’re all I’ll ever...all I’ll ever need,” you whimper, your toes curling as you fight off your release.
“You sure, baby?” I question, maybe for my own sanity, as I make my way over to the bed and getting down on my knees. I grip your thighs tightly before pulling you closer to the edge.
“Fuck! Yes baby! It’s only you for me! Only one I’ll ever need!”
“That’s my girl,” I praise before diving between your legs.
Your scent is always enough to drive me insane, but tasting you brings out a completely different animal together. Your nectar is something I would happily devour all day and night. The way you grip my hair and moan my name as you grind your perfect little pussy against my face? I can’t get enough. I’ll never be able to get enough of everything about you.
“Oh fuck! Yes...fuck baby!” you gasp once I slide two fingers inside your soaking little honeypot.
My curiosity reaches an all-time high when I hear that breathy and desperate little voice of yours. Glancing up at you only makes me that much more desperate to be buried deep inside you. Your head is lulled back while your hand is playing with your breast, and your mouth is slightly agape. Usually I force your attention back on me, and I want to now, but seeing you like this...God, how did I get so damn lucky?
“Andy...baby, if you keep...fuck! I’m so close!” you whimper as I pick up my pace, desperate for you to come apart at the seams.
I adore you.
“Shit!” you scream, as you squirt all over my fingers and it drips off the corners of my chin.
The pleasure I get out of soaking my face and making love to you everywhere and anywhere I can is probably sick but fuck it. Every little thing about you brings out an animal in me that I never knew existed until I met you, and if parts of that animal are slightly deplorable then so be it.
“Baby...baby please!” you whine as I kiss my way up your body, my fingers still teasing your clit.
“You were made just for me, sweetheart,” I mumble against one of your breasts before licking your nipple.
“Please!”
“Never gonna stop loving you.”
“I love you so much, Andy! Fuck!” you whimper, gripping my hair tighter once I finally thrust myself inside of you.
The warmest welcome I’ll ever receive.
“How could you ever think that you’re not enough for me, sweetheart?” I question, pumping into you harder and faster than I mean to, but I can’t stop myself. I can never control myself when it comes to you.
“You’re too good...too good for me,” you sob, clawing my back as you start moving with me.
You and those fucking tears, I swear to God.
“No sweetheart...it’s you that’s too good for me! Always been too fuckin good for me!”
“It’s too...feels too fucking good, baby! Please! I need to...fuck!”
“You wanna cum for me, babygirl?” I groan as your perfect little pussy clenches me, sending me into in my own euphoric high.
“Please!”
“C’mon, baby! Give it to me! Show me just how much you want me!”
“Shit! I need you so much, baby!” you cry out, as you soak not only me, but the bed as well.
I can never get enough.
“Fuck, Y/N!” I growl into your neck as I shoot my load into you.
Yeah, I wanted this to last longer, but sometimes you just make it so hard for me to control myself.
That and I’m not as young as I used to be.
I would feel bad for Buttons, but by day three, he was more than accustomed to the sounds we make when the door is closed.
“Tomorrow...we’ll do dinner, okay?” you breathe, bringing me out of my own thoughts as you regroup.
“I wanna take you somewhere nice.”
“Andy-”
“Let me spoil you just a little bit,” I plead and you smile up at me.
I could get lost in your smile all damn day.
“You spoil me just by loving me.”
“Doesn’t feel like it’s enough,” I murmur as I shower kisses along your neck.
“Andy,” you moan, running your hands through my hair.
And that’s all it takes.
“Say you’ll let me take you out,” I husk as I start moving within you again. “I wanna show you off.”
“Shit!”
“The most gorgeous woman...all mine,” I grunt, sitting up and hooking your right leg over my shoulder, gripping your hips tightly, and slamming into your soaked pussy. “I can’t fucking get enough!”
“Baby please!” you whimper pathetically as you mindlessly claw at the bed.
So fucking perfect.
“Let me take you out,” I beg again, kissing and licking your calve.
“Andy!”
“Come on, sweet girl. Say yes!”
“Oh my God, yes! Anything you want!”
“You wanna cum for me, beautiful?”
“Mhm,” you nod helplessly, finally meeting my gaze.
“You look so pretty when you’re all blissed out, baby,” I coo against your calve, reaching down and massaging your clit with my thumb.
“Shit!”
“Come on, baby. Give me that sweet cum!”
“Fuck Andy!” you cry out, your body shuddering as you squirt hard, soaking our bed again.
“Always making a mess,” I tease as you try and regulate your breathing. “You want more, baby?”
“Please daddy.”
“I’ll take my time with you, sweetheart.”
As we entangle in one another, over and over again, it’s not lost on me just how lucky I am to have you: your patience, love, acceptance, grace, loyalty, and understanding. Everything about you is everything I’ve ever needed.
I’ll take my time and make sure that you know just how much I love you and how truly important you are to me. No one’s ever gonna make you feel ashamed or embarrassed about yourself ever again.
I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure of that.
Y/N’s P.O.V
“First Andy sounded angry over the phone, now you. What the hell is going on with everyone today?” you huff as you come to a red light.
“Laurie wants us to come over later and I just don’t have a good feeling about it,” Sarah huffs and you can hear the exhaustion in her voice.
“Talk to me, babe. What’s going on?”
“I’m just so fucking sick of dealing with her and her shit, and so is Jacob, but he’s not doing anything about it. So, we argue about it and I always come off as this mean bitch.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t think you’re some mean bitch, hun,” you sigh, pulling off as soon as the light turns green.
“He’s trying to be patient with her, because of everything with you and Andy, but he’s also sick of her shit. She’s been calling to cry and complain every other fucking day and I’m tired of it. I told him that I don’t want her at the wedding and he keeps saying it’s not right since she’s his mother.”
“Well babe-”
“Don’t. Don’t fucking sit here and say he has a point, because she’s the fucking worst.”
“You know how I feel about her, Sarah. Just hearing her name makes me wanna break something, but she’s also his mother. For better or worse, she’s his mother. I’m sure he wants her in the wedding photos and all that shit.”
“She doesn’t deserve it!”
“No, she doesn’t, but he’s being forced to deal with a lot at once, and at some point-”
“Yeah, I know. I’ve gotta cut him some fucking slack. I’m just fucking exhausted. It’s always something with her, then there was the while thing between you two, and now this shit. I’m trying to be strong for the both of us and it’s tiring.”
“Have you told Jacob about how you feel?”
“He knows and he feels awful, which makes me feel worse. I know he’s going through a lot, and I’m doing my best not to be a bitch, but I’m so fucking tired of Laurie and her shit. I have a feeling that whatever she wants to talk to Jacob about isn’t gonna be good.”
“I thought you said she wants to talk to the both of you?”
“She said she wanted to speak with Jacob, but Jacob said that whatever she has to say, she can say it to the both of us. I don’t have much say in it.”
“Well, I’m at Andy’s job now. Text or call me after and tell me how it goes. Also, your bachelorette weekend is in two weeks, you’ve got this.”
“I know, I know. Deep breaths. Tell me how it goes with your night and shinning armor.”
“Yeah, we’ll see how that goes,” you mumble, already upset because Andy was very obviously pissed off when you were on the phone with him earlier. “I love you.”
“I love you,” she sighs before hanging up.
You take a deep breath as you look up at the building where the love of your life works and takes a deep breath. Since he took you out almost three weeks ago, you’ve been feeling more secure in the relationship. Once again feeling like everything is truly happening.
He took you to Davio’s Northern Italian Steakhouse (you left Buttons with Sarah and Jake), and Andy couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He was constantly reaching for your hand, telling you how beautiful you look, and making you laugh like a teenager in love for the first time. Yes, he’d told you a million times (and he’ll probably tell you a million more times) that he’s not ashamed of you or the relationship, but after everything that had happened and you hiding yourself away, it was nice to have a fresh reminder.
However, with that being said, they’re still parts of his life that still make you feel small. His job being one of them.
“Hey Y/N,” Duffy greets you with a smile as you approach Andy’s office.”
“Hi! I’m sorry, I can come back-”
“No, we’re finished here. You both enjoy your weekend,” she smiles at you before nodding towards Andy.
You stand aside to let her out and close the door gently behind her, before turning your attention back to Andy, who has the look of pure rage in his eyes. Oh God, he’s probably going to be carrying you out of here.
“What’s wrong, daddy?” you question, leaning against the door.
“Come here, sweet girl.”
“Daddy-”
“You’re gonna wanna be a good girl for me today, sweetheart. Now, come here,” he growls and it’s enough to send you over the edge. You make your way over to one of the chairs when Andy sighs in disappointment. “You know where daddy wants you.”
“We can’t here!”
“Whose name is on the door?”
“Yours, daddy.”
“So, that means this is my office, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, daddy.”
“So, bring your ass over here and sit on my desk. Don’t make me tell you again,” he warns ominously, as he starts to undo his belt buckle.
You bite your bottom lip to suppress a moan, but do as your told.
“Tell me what happened, daddy.”
“I will after I’ve gotten rid of some of my stress. Lift up your skirt for me.”
“Daddy-”
“Now, sweet girl, you’re gonna make me punish you. Is that what you want?”
When you don’t answer he smirks and shakes his head as he unzips is his pants.
“Of course you wanna be treated like a whore, cause you’re daddy’s little dumb whore, aren’t you?”
“Mhm” you nod, as he wraps his hand around your throat.
“Maybe tonight, if you start being a good girl right now,” he teases before tightening his grip on your throat. “Now, lift up your fucking skirt.”
You moan as you clench around nothing, adjusting yourself a little so you can lift up your skirt.
“No panties?”
“Took...took them off in the car. Wanted to surprise you when we got home!”
“Shh, sweet girl,” he chuckles, using his index finger to to tease your clit, “such a sweet little thing. Your pussy is already soaked, making a mess all over my calendar.”
“I’m sorry, daddy!” you whine softly.
“It’s okay, baby. Gonna clean up this perfect little pussy before I fucking destroy it,” he promises as he gets on his knees.
“Daddy-”
“So wet for me,” he murmurers before licking your clit.
“Daddy!”
“Be quiet,” he demands before sucking on your clit.
You let out a silent gasp, tightening your grip on his desk tight, knowing that if you grind your pussy against his face, you both will be found out in a second. You force your gaze on him, getting lost in the intense and lustful focus he has on you, before you grab your phone (which has all but fallen out of your pocket) and take a picture of him in the compromising position. Yeah, it’s usually him holding the camera, but him eating you out on his desk? You definitely wanna capture this moment. He’s just about to slide two fingers into your aching cunt when there’s a knock on his door.
Fuck.
“Andy?”
“Hey Lynn, can’t really talk right now, I’m pretty busy right now,” he smirks at you as he stands up, easily sliding his two fingers into you.
You bite your lip to suppress a moan and clench your eyes shut for a moment.
“Can it wait till Monday?” he asks, picking up his pace.
“I spoke to Neal and-”
“Yeah, I’d rather wait to talk about that,” he grunts as he starts fucking you faster with his fingers.
Oh God, what the hell happened?
“Just wanted to check in. We can talk about it on Monday. You’ve done more than enough work today, you can head home.”
“Soon, just a little bit more to finish up,” he smirks at you, adding another finger and you take a deep breath as your eyes go wide. You lull your head back and he snaps his fingers at you, forcing your attention back on him.
“Just don’t overwork yourself,” she sighs, “I’ll see you Monday.”
“Sounds good, Lynn. Have a great weekend, I know I will,” he smiles as you squirt on his fingers, scratching up the pristine wood you were already in the middle of damaging.
Andrew Fucking Barber is a menace.
“Give Y/N my best,” Lynn calls before her footsteps start to retreat.
“Will do,” Andy promises as fucks you through your high. “You did so good, sweet girl,” he praises softly. “You want daddy to fuck you stupid like the little slut you are?”
“Please!” you cry with a whisper.
“So desperate already?”
“Daddy please!”
“Turn around and lean against my desk. Gonna destroy this little fuck hole.”
“Daddy!”
“Do as I said!” he demands, slapping your clit.
Thank God tomorrow is Saturday.
“Daddy...please! Just need-”
“Daddy knows what you need,” he taunts as you hear his pants fall to the floor, “and he’s gonna give it to you,” he promises as he thrusts himself inside of you.
“Oh my God!”
“Such a good little girl!” he husks against the shell of your ear as he starts fucking you hard and fast.
“Holy fuck!”
“Anyone could walk into this room right now and you wouldn’t care, would you?”
“N-no, daddy!N Fuck me in front of anyone, I don’t care!”
“I’m so fucking tempted to rip that fucking blouse open....take that bra off and walk you out...just like that. You want that?”
“Sh...show them who I belong to, daddy!”
“Such a good little slut! Want me to fill this tight little cunt?”
“Please! Always...want to be full of you!”
“The way you’re clenching...shit! Cum for me now!”
“Jesus, daddy!” you whimper as you squirt hard, making a mess on his pants and the floor.
You’re more than sure Andy’s about to cum, but he stops short before pulling out, “Daddy wants to bring you off one more time, sweet girl,” he chuckles as he takes a seat in his chair.
“Daddy-”
“Turn around and unbutton that blouse for daddy,” he demands as he strokes himself.
Yeah, if you two keep it up you’re bound to get caught, but if he doesn’t give a damn, why should you? You quickly straddle him and slowly unbutton your blouse while holding his heated gaze.
“Unhook the front clasp, baby. Let daddy see you,” he encourages as his hands explore your torso. He groans as soon as your tits are exposed to him, “you are so fucking gorgeous,” he mumbles against one your nipples, before taking it into his mouth and sucking on it, massaging it with his tongue while his hand massages your other one.
“Daddy,” you softly moan, lulling your head back as you grip his shoulders and start to grind yourself against him.
He wraps his free arm around your waist and grips you close, and you somewhere through all the haze in your mind, you wonder how he’s able to make you feel so good by doing so little.
It’s not lost on you that things need to be discussed, but you’ve been with Andy long enough to know better. No, he’ll never take his anger out on you, but depending on what it is he’s angry about, he needs to do something before talking about it or he’ll end up yelling about it and will feel like shit about it later.
Usually, he’ll go for a run or a swim, but for him to choose fucking you in his office...
It’s gotta be pretty fucking bad.
“You’re all I need,” he breathes after releasing your nipple with a ‘pop’, “all I’ve ever needed.”
“Please!”
“Shh sweet girl, I’m gonna take care of you,” he coos, releasing your other tit and stroking himself, “ gonna fill you up till you’re leaking with my cum for days,” he promises as he aligns himself with your entrance before guiding you down.
“Fuck!”
“Gotta keep quiet, sweet girl,” he groans as you move against him, “cause your daddy’s good girl, right?”
“Y-yes,” you sob quietly, feeling your core tighten again, “only for you!”
“Shit! Come on, baby! Bring daddy off!” he husks, looking up at you as his hands grip your hips tight, and you can tell he’s using all of his energy to restrain himself from taking it over.
“I love you...love you so much! Gonna fuckin’...shit!”
“Jesus Y/N!” he growls into your chest as he fills you to the brim.
“Daddy!” you cry out softly, digging your nails into his shoulders as another orgasm fogs up your mind and leaves you in a euphoric high.
You’re more than sure you’ve made a mess, again, but you don’t care. Nothing matters besides Andy and how he feels.
“What’s...what’s wrong, baby? What happened?” you breathe, trying to come down from your high.
“Laurie,” is all he says as he peppers soft kisses all along your chest.
“Oh God, what happened this time?”
“She and Neal have started dating. Apparently, its been an on and off thing for a while.”
“Are you fucking shitting me?!”
“I don’t even care that shes opening her legs for him, but she’s not even doing it because she actually cares, it’s just to get back at me. She’s not even thinking about how upset it’ll make Jacob. After everything that happened with the case, the hell Neal went out of his way to put Jacob through, she goes and does this shit.”
“Fuck!”
“I spoke to Sarah before coming here and she said that Laurie wants to talk to them tonight.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
“Jacob is gonna lose his shit.”
“We gotta get home,” Andy sighs, leaning his head against your chest. “How did I fuck up so badly?”
“Hey,” you press softly, using your forefinger to softly force his gaze on you, “this isn’t on you.”
“I should’ve left her in college-”
“Stop it, Andy. You were in love and you thought she’d change. She made you believe that she would. Her being a vicious piece of shit is not on you. You don’t make her act the way she does, she’s just selfish and thinks everyone owes her. You did the best you could, with both her and Jacob, this isn’t on you.”
“Do you know how much I love you?”
“I think I have an idea,” you smirk as you dip down and kiss him.
You both take your time getting yourselves together, before walking out of his office hand in hand. When you both reach your car, he pins you against it and kisses you passionately.
“When we get home,” you giggle when you two break apart.
“I’ll be right behind you,” he smiles before walking towards his car.
Yes, you’re extremely angry, but Andy fucking Barber...he just makes you feel so damn loved.
Your drive home is easy and light, and for a moment, you relax just a bit.
Then your phone goes off the second your arrive home.
“SHE CAN’T COME TO THE FUCKING WEDDING!” Sarah screams as soon as you answer the phone.
Snap back to reality.
“Sarah, I know how frustrated you are, but please-”
“JACOB IS IN A FULL BLOWN RAGE RIGHT NOW! FUCKING NEAL OF ALL PEOPLE?!”
“I know I know,” you sigh as you get out of your car, getting met with a confused look on Andy’s face. “Andy told me and-”
“I’M FUCKING DONE, Y/N!” Sarah screams as you unlock the door, getting greeted by a very excited Buttons. “THEN SHE HAD THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO CRY!”
“Sarah-”
“I fucking mean it, Y/N! I’m fucking DONE with that bitch!”
You put your phone on speaker before responding with, “how’s Jacob?”
“Do you not hear the fucking glass breaking in the background?!”
“Jesus,” you mutter while Andy drops his briefcase and lets out a frustrated.
“Sarah, I’m gonna change and I’ll head over.”
“Mr. Barber, I don’t know-”
“I’ll deal with him, don’t worry. I’ll be there in 20.”
“Yeah okay, I’ll let him know,” she sighs before hanging up.
“You should’ve let me beat her ass,” you mutter, sitting down and letting Buttons get comfortable in your lap.
“Yeah, I really fucking should have,” he mutters, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “Let me get ready. Do you want me to pick up something on my way home?”
“Honestly, I’m not even hungry at this point. Maybe we’ll order something when you get back.”
Andy only nods before rushing up the steps, leaving you on the floor with Buttons, who is giving you a quizzical look.
“I bet you have to pee, don’t you?” you smirk and he barks. When all he does is bark, you chuckle before placing him on the ground, “I thought so. Lets go.”
You get up and on your way outside, you grab a glass and a bottle of whiskey, pouring yourself a small drink before letting both you and Buttons out and grabbing his ball. You toss it around for about five minutes before you hear Andy come outside.
“Save some for me,” he asks, noticing the glass on the table and you scoff. “I should be home in about an hour.”
“Do you want me to come with you? We can bring Buttons, I’m sure he would be a great help.”
“No, I know that you’re tired of dealing Laurie and-”
“That’s not what I asked you, baby. Do you want me to come with you?”
Andy hesitates before meeting your gaze, “I do, but you don’t-”
“C’mon Buttons! Inside!” you call over your shoulder before turning your attention back to Andy, “I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.’
Rushing up the steps, you’re quick to pull off your blouse, skirt, shoes, and put on some panties. You put on a random pair of sweatpants and grab on of Andy’s ‘Nirvana’ t-shirts before making your way downstairs. You say nothing as you get Button’s leash on, smiling to yourself as Andy watches you with the biggest smile on his face.
“Lets go,” you smile at him.
Ever since the first car ride home, Buttons cries if he can’t sit in your lap. Yeah, he’s gotten a bit bigger, but you’re a sucker that just can’t say no. The entire drive to Jacob and Sarah’s, you’re blasting Soundgarden songs and singing along horribly, while Buttons howls along with you sounding equally as bad. Andy can’t even find it in himself to get annoyed, he just laughs and eventually starts singing along with you.
By the time Andy pulls up to Jacob and Sarah’s place, you’d almost forgotten how serious the situation you two are walking into it, but Andy’s heavy sigh brings you back to reality.
You only have to knock once before the door swings open.
“Oh, thank God! You brought Buttons,” Sarah smiles with a sigh of relief as she steps aside to let the three of you in. “I cleaned up the glass, so feel free to take your shoes off.”
“Babe, I’m just gonna order...hey,” Jacob stops short at the sight of you and Andy.
“Heard you had a bit of a melt down,” you mutter, kicking off your slippers.
“Can you blame me?”
“You’re the one who held me back,” you shrug and Jacob lets out a small laugh. “You can’t go off the handle like that.”
“Fucking Neal of all people?”
“I’m not saying it’s not infuriating, and I know I need to work on my temper too, but c’mon Jake.”
“It’s not like I meant to just start throwing shit, Y/N. She just...God, you should’ve fucking been here,” he groans, plopping down on one of their sofa chairs.
“What happened, bud?” Andy sighs, sitting on the arm of their sofa, while Buttons makes his way over to Jacob.
“She came over and kept trying to get Sarah to go into the bedroom, so I was already annoyed. Once we settled on the fact that Sarah was going to hear whatever the hell she had to say, she started off by saying that even though we’ve had rough patches, she’s still my mother and that she loves. She then decided to follow that up with that if I can be happy for you and Y/N, I should be able to be happy for her too.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“She then proceeded to tell me about how shes been seeing Neal on and off for a while, and that she’s only telling me now because it’s getting serious. She understands that things have happened in the past, but if she’s able to give him a fair shot, I should at least be willing to try. That’s when Sarah walked out of the room.”
“I was ready to break her damn nose,” Sarah mutters, giving both you and Andy a glass of whiskey, before settling onto the floor next to Buttons who’s more than happy for the new company.
“So, when I don’t say anything, she keeps trying to explain herself. Then, I just kind of snapped. I asked her how she can compare Neal to Y/N when Y/N has never done anything to hurt me or make my life harder, and she calmly replied saying that she broke up our family. That’s when I kind of blacked out and that’s when Sarah came back in,” Jacob sighs, clearly ashamed with his actions.
“It’s not like I was any better. I just started screaming at her. I called her things and said shit I shouldn’t have, and she responded by telling me that Jacob shouldn’t be marrying someone who doesn’t respect his mother to which I said that I would respect his mother if she was respectable. That’s when the tears came and she was asking how we could accept you two but betray her, and I kicked her out.”
“Fuck,” you sigh, downing your drink while was already back in the kitchen and making himself another.
“I’m guessing Neal told you?” Sarah asks Andy softly.
“Yeah, he told me. He was scared shitless, so I have to give him some respect for at least telling me and not sending Laurie. Then again, Laurie probably made him do it. He told me that he wants to upfront with me and he doesn’t want things to be anymore awkward than they already are. I just nodded and thanked him for telling me before kindly asking him to leave.”
“Well, this is one hell of a Friday,” you mutter, running a hand through your hair. “Jake-”
“Don’t you fucking say it, Y/N. Just don’t.”
“She’s not lashing out at you. She’s lashing out at Andy. She’s out at both Andy and myself.”
“It’s not like she’s taking me into consideration!”
“I never said that she’s handling any of this well.”
“Why aren’t you-”
“I’m fucking furious, Jacob. Just because I’m not raging out, doesn’t mean I don’t wanna break her fucking nose. However, I can’t keep letting her win. I can’t keep getting in a rage over the petty and stupid shit that she does, which is why I’m telling you both,” you say giving Sarah a quick glance, “not to fly off the handle here. Everything she’s doing at this point is because she wants to get a rise out of Andy and/or myself. If you guys respond in a negative way, she’s just gonna continue to spin this story about how she’s some saint whose been kicked out of her family. If you both truly don’t want her at the wedding, then whatever. It’s your wedding and you guys do what you want, but don’t keep reacting. There’s no point and it’s a waste of time. You don’t wanna talk to her anymore? Just don’t respond to her calls or texts anymore. You don’t wanna see her on holidays or birthdays? Just don’t get. You can respond to her without actually responding to her. It’s just not worth it and she’ll only keep winning,” you scowl, leaning back into the sofa.
“When did you become so mature?” Sarah scoffs as you flip her off.
“I’m just too old and too tired. I’ve been fighting with the people of this stupid town for too damn long, and I don’t feel like doing it anymore.”
“Dad,” Jacob starts softly, “are you okay?”
“Honestly? No, not really. The issues your mother and I have are between her and I, so why she keeps letting it bleed out all over the rest of you...I’ll never really understand. However, Y/N is right. Snapping at and blacking out on her will only make it worse. Plus, I know she doesn’t act like it, but she truly does love you. She’s your mother and she’s just going through a hard time right now.”
“How are you so calm about all of this?”
“I’ve been dating Y/N for too long,” he mutter as you burst out laughing, laying your head on his arm after he resumes his seat on the arm of the sofa.
Jacob shakes his head before smiling at the both of you, “I’m happy you two have each other.”
“Yeah?” you smile.
“Yeah.”
You and Andy stay for a few hours, happy to watch Sarah and Jacob play around with Buttons for a bit and work through their anger and frustrations while also talking to them about the wedding and what they’ve been up to, before deciding to call it a day. Between the stress “relieving session” in Andy’s office, and the mental strength it took to not call Laurie and curse her out, you’re ready to rest up and spend quality with Andy and your fur baby.
The ride back home is quiet, but comfortable and Buttons gives you kisses ever so often. Andy stays focused on the road, but every once in a while he’ll grab your hand, and press a soft kiss to it. When he pulls up to the house, he does it one more time and you feel a calmness wash over you. Something is telling you that it may all be okay after all.
No. Something is telling you that it will all be okay.
“Pick a movie and I’ll order dinner,” Andy says as you lay down on the sofa with Buttons and he kicks off his shoes.
“And what exactly are we having?”
“Junk. We’ve earned it.”
“Andrew Steven Barber, are you about to eat a cheeseburger in front of me? It’s been so long!”
“Don’t you dare get used to it.”
“I would never imagine such a thing,” you smirk as he flips you off.
Soon enough, Andy joins both you and Buttons on the sofa and pulls you onto his lap, pressing soft kisses into your hair as Buttons settles into your lap.
In the last few weeks, no matter how chaotic or hectic the days have been, you always end them on the best note, and it always feels like heaven. Having Andy in your life was already better than you imagined, but now that you two have Buttons it feels like your own small little family.
The life you never thought you’d have, is now the dream you get to live every day. You’re finally able to let your guard down and don’t regret it at all. You life with Andy is everything you’ve wanted and more. Hell, even if he never proposes, you’ll still be happy if you two spend the rest of your lives as you are now.
However, you’d be lying if said you didn’t want one. God, the amount of times you’ve written out your name with his last name at work is embarrassing and you pray he never finds that notebook.
When the food arrives, he’s quick to gently put you down and make his way to the door, while you get up and make Buttons’ dinner. This is the routine you’ve tried to keep up since you got Buttons, because 1. he’s so occupied on his dinner he’s too busy to beg for scraps, and 2. you like eating together as a family. You walk back in with two beer bottles after bringing in Buttons’ dinner, while Andy sets up place settings for the both of you. You’re about to resume the movie when you giggle softly.
“What?”
“Nothing, its silly.”
“Tell me.”
“The night you came over for drinks after I said we shouldn’t go out...the first meal we ever made together was cheeseburger and french fries,” nyou smile at him.
Andy cups your face and kisses you passionately, “I love you so fucking much.”
“The feeling is mutual, Barber.”
“Dinner?”
“Sounds good.”
As always, Buttons finishes before the both of you and gives you puppy dogs eyes, because you’re always the one who caves. You think Andy is caught up in the movie, so you sneak Buttons one of the last few fries on your plate.
“Stop feeding him from the table,” Andy grumbles as he pulls you onto his lap.
“One fry won’t hurt,” you giggle as he kisses your temple.
“It’s gonna become a habit.”
“Only if I do it all the time.”
“You do do it all the time.”
“Do not.”
“More times than not.”
You roll your eyes before quietly responding with, “I do not.”
“You’re hopeless,” he laughs, and you giggle into his chest.
“How do we feel about tonight’s movie?”
“Well,” he starts as he readjusts you on his lap, “I’m not necessarily a fan of James Cagney’s dancing, but overall I like ‘Footlight Parade’.”
“How can you not like James Cagney’s dancing?!”
“How can you?”
“Snob,” you snort and he playfully bites your shoulder. “I think someone is ready to go to bathroom for the night.”
“Yeah bud?”
All Andy gets in return is a bark and you both laugh.
“Lets go.”
“I’ll put the dishes away while you two have your guy time outside.”
“Then bed?”
“Yeah, that sounds good. God knows its been a long enough day.”
“At least we have the weekend,” he sighs into your hair before kissing it.
You’re quick to get up and scoop up the plates while Buttons and Andy make there way to the back and outside. Just as you’re finishing up the dishes, your phone starts going off in your pocket. After drying your hands on your pants, you quickly pull it out, but scowl when you see who it is and hit ignore. A few moments later, you roll your eyes when you hear it buzz. Against your better judgement, you lean against the counter and open the text.
Momster Dearest: I don’t blame you for ignoring my call, I would have too. I know...I fucked up. I fucked up and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for a lot of things, honey. I know I can’t make up for the last few years or what I said when I called you that day, but I can apologize. I can apologize and try to explain myself. I know I haven’t acted like or shown it in a while, but I do love you and I miss you so much. Please answer me.
You scowl in frustration and bite back tears as you thrust your phone back into your pocket. Why? Why can’t she just leave you alone at this point? And why does she choose today of all days to text you? Hasn’t enough happened? Now this?
“Alright, our baby boy is ready for...hey, what’s wrong?” Andy asks with alarm in his tone as he quickly makes his way over to you.
You don’t even say anything, you just hand him your phone before starting on your back into the living room and shutting everything off.
“Babe-”
“I don’t even know if I can believe her, because this isn’t the first time shes sent a text like that. It wouldn’t be the first time that we’ve had a serious talk about how shitty of a parent she is.”
“Sweetheart-”
“But she wasn’t always like this, Andy,” you sob, turning to face him, “she wasn’t always like this and I miss her. I miss my fucking mom.”
“I know you do, baby. I know,” he sighs, wrapping you in a tight hug.
Why can’t you catch a fucking break?
“It’s been a long day and we’re both tired. Lets just get ready for bed and we’ll tackle it in the morning, okay?”
Nodding, you take your hand in his and lead the way up the stairs with Buttons following close behind. As Buttons makes his way to his playroom to sleep, one of his favorite places to sleep, while you and Andy made your way into the bedroom bathroom.
Neither of you says a thing as you both undress, and Andy steps in first to get the water ready and makes sure it’s perfect before stepping aside and letting you in. You don’t say a thing at first, not sure of what to say, and Andy starts to wash your body for you.
“You don’t have to...” you trail off as you start to cry and Andy pulls you close.
“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t need to cry, it’s alright. We’ll figure this all out.”
“I’m just so damn tired, baby.”
“I know and I don’t blame you. We’re gonna figure this all out.”
“I just want it all to be figured out at this point.”
“Don’t worry, okay? Just let yourself rest for now,” he begs softly.
You look up at him and pull him close, kissing him softly as you wrap your arms around him. The kiss starts out soft and sweet, but soon turns urgent and sensual.
“Sweetheart, we don’t have to-”
“Earlier today, you told me that if I was a good girl-”
“Honey-”
“I just want you, Andy. I always need to feel you.”
Soon enough, Andy has you pinned against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist as he fucks into you relentlessly. As you dig your nails into his back, moaning his name as he makes you feel everything you need and more, you find yourself wanting to bottle this moment. Not just because of the mind blowing sex, but because you know you’ll never need anything or anyone ever again.
Andy takes the time to find the problem and figure it out and figure you out. He doesn’t just fuck you because it’s what he wants or because you beg him. He makes sure that 1. you’re in the right state of mind, 2. that you know you don’t have to do it, and 3. that he knows how to treat you. He knows when you need him to be gentle, he understands when you need him to mean and rough, and he understands when you need him to gentle with his words but rough with his actions.
“You’re taking me so well,” he grunts, gripping your hips tight as he upthrusts into hard and fast.
After bringing you off three times in the shower, he carried you into the bedroom and laid down, telling you to take what you need from him. He left you in charge for a bit, but after you got yourself off for the third time, he couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Baby,” you whimper as you throw your head back, trying to move your hips with his as another orgasm builds up.
“You look so fucking beautiful, sweetheart. Do you know how much I love you?”
“Mhm!”
“Are you sure? Cause there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, honey,” he promises as he presses his thumb against your clit, making little circles and causing you to cry out in pleasure. “All I want is for you to be happy, baby. All I want is to love you!
“Baby...I need to....feels too fucking good!”
“You’re my world, Y/N! Nothing felt right until you came along!”
“I love you so fucking much!” you sob, squirting hard and making a mess all over Andy’s cock and the bed.
“Such a good girl,” he growls, filling you to the brim, gripping you tight as he tries to tries get the both of you through your euphoric highs.
Once you finally calm down, you slowly lean forward until your head is resting on Andy’s chest and his arms are wrapped around you tight, doing his best to regulate your breathing with his.
“You feel better, sweet girl?”
“Mhm,” you yawn with a nod.
“Was I too rough?”
“No baby, not at all.”
“I meant every word that I said, sweetheart.”
“I know you do, baby. I feel the same. We’re gonna figure all of this out together, just like we always have.”
“I know we will. I just got a little overwhelmed today, but I’ll be okay,” he smile up at him.
He presses a soft to your forehead and responds softly, “sleep?”
“Yes please.”
You take your time getting off of Andy, already knowing you’re gonna be a bit sore tomorrow, and he quickly makes his way to the bathroom. Ever the gentleman, he comes back with a damp wash towel and cleans up between your legs, while pepper your chest with soft and small kisses.
When all is said and done, he finally gets in and pulls you close, pressing a soft and sweet kiss to the top of your head. You’re almost asleep when you hear the door pushed open and four soft paws making their way to the bed.
“You wanna get up here, buddy? Come on,” you yawn, tapping your foot on the bed.
Buttons quickly jumps on the bed, but instead of laying at the foot of it like he usually does, he settles right between you and Andy.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Andy groans and you laugh, cuddling into the happy pup as he licks the side of your face.
“And you wanna have a kid,” you giggle.
“With you, I want everything,” he sighs in content, grabbing your hand softly as he drifts off.
With a smile on etched on your face, you quickly succumb to sleep knowing that everything is going to work out great.
For the first time in a long time, you’re not afraid of what the future holds.
**
“Andy, it’s your turn to let him out,” you mumble as Buttons starts to whine.
His way of letting you both know that he’s ready to go outside and start the day.
“Ten more minutes,” he groans, pulling his pillow over his head.
“If he pees in the bed, I don’t wanna hea about it.”
“You’re mean,” Andy yawns before getting up and a small smile comes to his face. You hear him dig around in his dresser before saying, “alright, bud. Lets get you outside before it’s too late.”
And with that, they’re both out the door and running down the steps.
You roll around for a bit, trying to hold on to sleep, but you know it’s a lost cause. You as you get up, fishing Andy’s band t-shirt off the ground and looking around for a pair of shorts.
At some point, you’ll be cleaning the room today.
You slowly make your way downstairs, laughing softly as you hear Andy calling for Buttons to let go of the ball, and get started on the coffee. You’ve just finished pouring both you and Andy a cup when the doorbell rings.
‘Who the hell could be here at 9am?’ you think to yourself as you make your way to the front door. “Hello, how may we...,” you trail off as you see who’s on the other side of your door.
It’s amazing how fast a good day can turn into a terrible one.
You hear paws clunking behind you followed by a growl.
Good boy.
“What do you want, Laurie?” you mutter through gritted teeth.
“I uh...I need to talk to you and Andy,” she responds with volume of a mouse.
“Hey babe, I think we should get our sweet boy...you need to leave,” Andy growls as he comes up behind you.
“Andy, please just-”
“You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve,” he chuckles humorlessly. “You want me to get Jacob to talk to you, don’t you?”
“Andy, you and Y/N are the only ones he and Sarah will listen to-”
“Why the fuck should we help you, Laurie?!”
“Because you both owe me!”
“Fuck this shit,” you scoff, turning to leave, “Andy, you deal with her cause I’ll break her fucking neck. Buttons and I will be in the art room. Lets go, Button boy.”
You do your best to focus on finishing the painting in front of you, but between Buttons whining (wanting to get back to Andy), and Andy’s and Laurie’s raised voices, you can’t focus.
You look down over at the alarm clock on the desk and see that you’ve only been working on it for 15 minutes.
Fucking Laurie.
“You need to leave,” you demand as you come storming out of the room, Buttons at your heels.
“We’re not finished-”
“Yes you are! I believe I made it perfectly clear that you aren’t welcome here, and Andy doesn’t owe you shit! Nor do I for that matter! You want to pretend that you’re in love with Neal? That’s fine, you’ve never lived in reality or anywhere close to it from what I can tell, but there’s no way in fuck that you were delusional enough to believe that it wouldn’t hurt Jacob to his core. The man, who at times got pleasure out of fucking up Jacob’s life, is the man you want us all to believe you’re in real love with? Fuck you, Laurie.”
“You don’t know-”
“And just so you know, we did go over to Sarah and Jacob’s yesterday, and actually tried to plead your fucking case! Told them that you’re mad at us and and acting like this because of us! They’re fucking over it, Laurie! They’re over it and so are we! Now get the fuck off of our property!”
“You can’t-”
“Laurie, I swear this is the last time I’m gonna say it nicely. Get the fuck off of our property,” you warn in a murderously low tone.
“I won’t try and stop her this time,” Andy shrugs with his arms folded across his chest.
Laurie looks from you to him, letting a few pathetic tears fall, before finally turning and storming off towards her car.
“If she comes here again, I’m greeting her with a fist to the face,” you mutter as she drives off.
“C’mon, it’s only the beginning of the day, we can still salvage it,” Andy sighs as he closes the door.
“What did she say?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he mumbles as he makes his way into the kitchen, “do you want Bailey’s in your coffee, babe? Fuck, of course it’s cold now.”
“Baby-”
“It’s going to get you worked up and drive me insane, so why does it matter?”
“Because you’re upset,” you state plainly as you lean against the kitchen entryway.
“She just blamed it all on me. Her cheating, the trial, why she told the fucking lie...it’s my fault. I forced her into that corner and made her like this.”
“You know that’s all bullshit!”
“Yeah, I know it is,” he mutters, pouring out both cups before refilling them, “but it’s infuriating that she just...”
“I know, baby, I know,” you sigh sympathetically as you make your way over to him, “but what do you always tell me?”
“Her bullshit is her bullshit.”
“Exactly. She’s going to constantly try and spin the story to work in her favor, so the best we can do is just let her spiral. Soon enough, she’ll slip up and the truth will come out. Especially with this new stunt that she pulled.”
“I’m just tired of her getting her fucking way all the time.” He pours Bailey’s into both cups before following up with, “I’m tired of her winning all the damn time.”
“Hey, look at me,” you coo softly as gently force his attention on you, “do you love me?”
“More than anything.”
“Are you happy that we’re together?”
“More than I’ll ever be able to express.”
“Then she hasn’t won a single fucking thing,” you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close. “It’s you and me, babe. None of the bullshit matters. We know who’s on our side and we have each other. She hasn’t won a fucking thing.”
“I love you.”
“I think pretty highly of you too, Barber,” you smirk, standing on your tip toes and giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Wanna skip the morning run and just jump into job searching?”
“I knew there was a reason you made coffee instead of grabbing our water bottles.”
“Always one step ahead of ya,” you laugh as the doorbell rings. “Oh, who the fuck is it now?” you grumble, letting go of Andy and grabbing your cup.
“I’ll answer it-”
“No no, you go calm down. I’ll handle whoever it is.”
With an aggravated sigh, you turn and make your way back to the front door, and take a sip of your coffee before opening the door.
“Jesus, what is this? ‘See everyone I can’t stand’ day?” you scowl.
“Please, I just wanna talk, okay?” your mother pleads softly.
Aren’t Saturdays supposed to be for peace and quiet?
“You’ve got twenty minutes,” you mutter, standing aside and letting her inside. “We’ll talk outside in the backyard.”
You make your way into the kitchen and grab two glasses and a bottle of whiskey.
“Honey, it’s not even 10am...oh,” Andy sighs once he sees your mother behind you. “For fucks sake.”
“Yeah, I’m throwing this day out the fucking window,” you mumble as Buttons sniffs your mother’s legs.
He licks her ankle before going over to Andy and sitting besides him. At least he didn’t growl at her.
“It’s gonna be fine,” Andy whispers before kissing your forehead. “If you need me, let me know.”
You just nod before leading your mother outside and closing the screen door behind you. Pouring the both of you a drink, you take a seat across from her and you both take a sip as you look at one another.
“I can’t imagine you ask him to put on a shirt often,” your starts, nodding towards the inside.
You look over and notice that Andy is only in sweats. “I hadn’t even noticed, honestly, but you’re right. I don’t.”
“Ya know, this is the first drink I’ve had in a week.”
“Picked a hell of a time to break your streak.”
“I have a feeling this isn’t going to be easy and I need all the help I can get.”
“I would’ve gotten back to you at some point.”
“The “at some point” is why I came over. I don’t want too much time to pass-”
“Not to be a bitch, but what you want doesn’t really fucking matter, does it?”
“No, and I guess...I know this rift is my fault and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of this.”
“Funny how this isn’t the first time we’ve had this talk. This isn’t the first time you’ve felt bad.”
“This isn’t the same as before, that I can promise you.”
“I know, this time you also have to make up for calling me a slut and a homewrecker. For choosing Laurie all because her little lie made you embarrassed.”
“No, I embarrassed myself and was asked all of those horrible questions at the worst possible time.”
“Well, what could you have possibly done that’s more embarrassing than anything else you’ve been doing for the last few years?”
“I slept with your father,” she finishes with a huff before downing the rest of her drink.
“Well, not only is that embarrassing but also extremely stupid,” you mutter, finishing your glass, before filling them both.
“There was a time when you would’ve told me about Andy. You would’ve told me everything that’s been going on, but you’ve been so distant these last few years, and that’s my fault. I already felt like shit for so many things, then I fucked up and slept with your father, and then to not only hear about your relationship, but to have to hear about it in such a nasty and vile way...I snapped. I knew none of it was true, but if I was dumb enough to sleep with your father...accidents happen, right? Anyway, I got out of there as quick as I could, got home and started drinking. Then, your father called because he wanted to come over and “talk”, but I just went off on him and basically said it was his fault that you turned into a whore which...it’s obviously not true. You’re the only thing we ever got right.
Anyway, he just wanted to make me happy, which is why he came over here and said all that shit he said to you and Andy, which I’m so sorry about. God, I owe Andy such an apology, I can’t believe your father threatened to hit him. I wanted apologize, honey. The second you hung up, I wanted to call you back, but I knew it wouldn’t be that simple. I’ve been trying to build the courage for a while now, but I knew I couldn’t just apologize like I’ve done in the past.”
“Mom-”
“I miss you, Y/N. Before everything went to shit, before I became a shit mother, we had a really great bond.”
“Don’t,” you sob, taking a sip of your drink. “Don’t fucking start this shit again.”
“It’s not the same as it was before. I mean it, Y/N. I know it’ll take time for you to believe me and I completely understand, but I want to be your mom again. Not someone you only talk to when it’s necessary. Both your father and I do.
“God, don’t tell me you two are back together.”
“No, our little...tryst is over. If he can’t be faithful to his little wife he has now, he’ll never be able to be faithful to me. However, we’re both your parents and even though we stopped showing it, we do love you. We’ve both been keeping tabs you. Yeah, we were hesitant about you being with Andy, scandal set aside, there’s the age difference and the fact that he’s Jacob father, we didn’t want him to just use you until he was bored. We both see your posts though, we’ve seen you two around town, and after how he stood up to your father...we’re happy for you two, Y/N. Truly happy and we want to be apart of your life. Really apart of your life. I’m not saying there won’t bumps and that he and I won’t argue, but we want to do better. We want to at least try to be somewhat of a family again.”
“ Of course you decide this when damn near thirty,” you mutter, sipping your drink and looking over at the screen door.
Buttons is just laying there looking at you and feel so bad. He just wants to hangout with his parents and it keeps not happening.
“He’s cute. His name is Buttons?”
“Yeah, Andy figured we should name him after my favorite stuffed animal.”
“He would think of something sweet like that,” she smiles to herself before looking at you, “he’s a good man, honey.”
“I know,” you smile softly at her.
“Well, I’ll get going and call your father. He was going to come, but chickened out last minute.”
“Well, he and Andy did almost have a fist fight,” you murmur, finishing your drink as your mother does the same and gets up, “we can take it slow,” you tell her softly. “I can’t...I don’t know what will happen, but I am willing to try...again.”
“I’m really happy to hear that,” she smiles, “talk to me when you’re ready.”
All you do is nod as she leaves, leaving the door open for Buttons to run out and jump into your lap. Yes, in theory he is still a puppy, but his size is ahead of him.
“That seems like it went well,” Andy smiles as he occupies the seat next to you, and you just shrug. “You didn’t scream and you didn’t kick her out. That’s a start.”
“She wants to try again...again.”
“And how do you feel about it?”
“Part of me feels like it’s bullshit, but at the same time, she’s my mom. She wasn’t always a fucking mess, so maybe this time will be different. I keep wanting to believe it, but she always lets me down. They both always let me down.”
“You don’t owe anyone anything, sweetheart.”
“I can’t keep telling people to give those they truly love and care about second chances, and then not do it myself.”
“You’ve given them way more than second chances, baby. It’s okay if you’ve run out of chances to give them.”
“Yeah,” you shrug before taking a sip of your drink.
“Hun-”
“If they fuck it up this time, I’m done, really done. I can’t keep doing this. I’m so tired of being angry all the time. I’m tired of arguing with this town, tired of arguing with Laurie, and I’m tired of arguing with my parents. For once in my life, I’m so in love and happy and I just want to live in that. I want us to be happy because we deserve it. We haven’t done anything wrong and I’m tired of made to feel like we did. If they can’t fucking get it right this time, then they’re out,” you sob with a shrug before finishing off your drink and pouring another.
Andy’s thoughtful before smiles at you and says, “you know what we haven’t done in a while?”
“Hm? What?”
“We haven’t had a lazy day. No job search today, no exercising, no laundry, no cleaning, lets just be lazy. We’ll play with Buttons, we’ll drink, we’ll dance around-”
“Andy, we don’t have to do this because I’m-”
“We both need it. It’s been a hell of a day and it’s not even 11:30am. I don’t even think it’s 11am,” he laughs. “We keep going from one battle to another, and we never take a break. After the wedding, we’ll take a real break. We’ll go on a vacation, the three of us, and take some time to just recuperate.”
“Andy-”
“It’ll be good for us, babe. Just trust me,” he smiles at you sincerely.
So, for the rest of the day, you and Andy indulge in all of the things that make you both happy. From board games to video games, karaoke to rediscovering your love for albums that both forgot about, playing with Buttons to playing out in the backyard, and going back and forth between watching each other’s favorite movies, you and Andy do everything you’ve both been longing to do for a while but just haven’t had a chance to.
At around 2am, you both throw in the towel, falling asleep on the sofa while ‘Mr. Smith Goes To Washington’ plays softly in the background, while Buttons rests peacefully in his dog bed that’s setup right next to the sofa.
As you dream, you dream of the life that you hope you’ll have. You dream of a life where Andy is by your side every step of the day.
**
The months leading up to the wedding are some of the most stressful months you’ve ever experienced. Sarah’s bridesmaids are some of the most difficult women to deal with (and it doesn’t help that you went to high school with three of them), Laurie won’t stop calling and trying to get you and Andy to speak to Jacob on her behalf, Jacob has a breakdown over something every week and has attempted to change the venue twice, Sarah falls in love with a dress then falls out of love with it and you seem to be the only one who knows how to deal with her, you and Andy’s time together seems to get cut down in half, Buttons is irritable because so many people are over all the time, your parents keep trying to set up family dinner dates, and you’ve almost quit your job four times.
You can’t even catch a break on Christmas, because Sarah and Jake (and Sarah’s parents) want to have dinner at your place since it’s your first official Christmas as a real couple. You both know that Sarah and Jacob are just trying to show you both support, but you just want to have at least a day together. However, you both remember that you lied about the relationship for far too long (and the way Jacob found out), so guilt has you both agreeing to it.
The days goes off well enough, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have fun, but the day leaves you both spent and the special night you both planned ends with you both knocked out in bed, cuddling each other.
It’s not even the fact that you can’t spend intimate alone time together, you just miss your boyfriend. You never expected a wedding so small to take up so much time and energy, but feels as if there’s almost something new every day. Sure, you can both lie and say you’re too busy (which really isn’t a lie since Andy is in over his head at work), but Jacob is Andy’s son and your best friend, and Sarah is your best friend. You can’t just bail because you’re tired of talking about linen patterns, and flowers, and telling Sarah that she looks amazing in her dress.
You’ve lost count of how many times Jacob has come over at 2 in the morning to talk to Andy about whatever crisis he’s having, and you get reeled into helping. The only reason you haven’t completely lost your mind is because Andy keeps promising you an uninterrupted trip, and he keeps finding small ways to surprise you with sweet gifts.
He has flowers delivered to your job, hides sweet notes in your lunchbox, has your favorite dinners delivered when he’s gonna be late, and he takes Buttons out on the mornings when you just need “five more minutes”. In return, you do your best to meet him halfway.
On the nights that he has dinner delivered, you make something and wrap it all up, and eat dinner with him in his office. When there’s no time to make lunch, you have his favorite lunch sent to him, you make sure to have the house as neat as possible, you don’t make a fuss when he calls you and tells you that he needs to stop off at Jacob’s to help with whatever, and you take Buttons out on his nighttime walks when gets home and is visibly exhausted.
No, it hasn’t been picture perfect, but you’re both trying and that what makes you feel so safe and secure. At first, you were sure that the lack of sex would cause tension, because no matter what that, fear is always there. Yes, there were times that tensions were high because you two didn’t seem to have time for anything more than quickies, but you two always found a way to talk. Whether he needed to go for a run first, or you needed to take a walk, you two still always resolve whatever the issue is before you two went to sleep.
That was promise you two made to another when you moved in together; no matter how long it takes, you two will always work things out.
“There you are,” Jacob smiles, pulling you out of your thoughts as he sits next to you on the front steps of Sarah’s parents house. “Can you believe the wedding is tomorrow?”
“Not in the slightest,” you scoff, taking a sip of your Jack and coke.
“Listen, I know Sarah and I kinda lost it on you guys, and I’m sorry. I really am. I don’t know, I think it just hit us at the same time that we were taking this giant step. It’s not like we’re scared or anything, but we’ve been together for so long and have been through so much...I don’t wanna end up like my parents and she doesn’t want me to get tired of her.”
“It’s no problem at all, you know there’s nothing Andy and I wouldn’t do for you. You and Sarah aren’t going to end up like your parents, Jake. What happened between your parents isn’t going to happen because...it just won’t.”
“You can shit talk my mother, it’s fine,” he chuckles, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.
“When did this start up?”
“After my mother told me that she’s fucking Neal Logiudice.”
“Yet, you still caved and invited her.”
“Only because I feel an obligation. I’ve always pictured both my parents at my wedding, and yeah I’m furious, I still want her there. She knows not to bring Neal though. I told her that if he shows up, she’s out.”
“Well look at you.”
“Yeah, I can’t afford to make excuses for her anymore. I’ve picked up another bad habit-”
“Another?”
“I don’t always talk to Sarah about what’s bothering me, and that’s why she’s afraid that I’ll get sick of her. I went from telling her everything to being moody and not explaining why.”
“Why don’t you tell her?”
“It gets exhausting. I’ve been complaining about my mother to her since Ben’s trial. Coming home and complaining about the same shit you’ve been complaining for years...I know that it’s my fault because I allow my mother to piss me off, but still. I can only bitch so much until I feel like I’m the one pushing her away.”
“Jacob, coming from the queen of bitching about parents, you’re fine. You’re with someone who loves you all of the things that come along with you. She’s been with you for so long and you two have been through so much, you know she wouldn’t stick around if she didn’t mean it.”
“I know I know, I just...I wanna get this right. I wanna have forever with her.”
“And you will. Both of you just need to take a deep breath and remember you two are all that matters. As long as you two have each other, love each other, and hold on to that love at all times, you two will be fine,” you reassure him before taking a long sip of your drink.
“Thank God my dad got it right,” he chuckles before taking another drag from his cigarette.
“What the hell does that mean?” you laugh.
“You’re just...you’re perfect for him. Hes always needed someone like you and I was scared he’d end up with someone who would take advantage him. I think that’s why I backtracked and wanted him to get back with my mother, even though I knew it would be bad in the end. You know how he is, that’s why you fell in love with him, and I’m really glad that you two found each other.”
“I think...I truly think that’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me since you found out your dad and I are together.”
“In my defense, it does take some getting used to,” he mutters and you roll your eyes. “He loves you so much. I don’t think he’s ever loved anyone as much, not even my mom.”
“You know you outrank me.”
“I outrank everyone cause I’m his son. It doesn’t count.”
“Jake-”
“He wouldn’t stop talking about you during my bachelor party,” he chuckles, finishing up his cigarette. “He kept saying that he misses you and can’t wait to take you away, you’re the best cook and how thoughtful you are...you’re the best pet parent hes ever known,” he sighs. “He’s head over heels for you, Y/N, and I know you feel the same about him. I’m really happy for the both of you,” he smiles at you.
“Hey,” comes the soft voice of the last person you want to hear from.
“This is clearly for you so-”
“Actually, I uh...I wanna speak to you,” Laurie softly interrupts, “alone.”
You cock your eyebrow before downing the rest of your drink, “Jake, would you mind grabbing me another?”
“Y/N, are you sure?”
“I won’t kill your mother the day before your wedding. That would just be rude,” you smile at him sarcastically.
Jacob says nothing as he shakes his head and grabs your cup, “what was it?”
“Jack and coke. Heavy on the Jack please.”
“You got it,” he smiles, softly kissing the top of your head before making his way back inside.
Neither of you says a word to one another. Laurie’s picking at her fingers and you’re bouncing your leg up and down.
Great talk.
“I uh...I can’t seem to make anyone hate you,” she starts softly and you roll your eyes.
“Awh, come on, Laurie! You got the whole town to hate me, I think that’s a good amount of people.”
“I meant anyone in my family, but they all sure as shit hate me.”
“Is this the part where I’m supposed to feel bad for you, Laurie?”
“No, and I would never expect you to. You shouldn’t. It’s not like I forgive you-”
“Forgive me for what?!”
“You’re not 100% innocent in all of this-”
“Laurie, by the time Andy started doing anything physical, he’d been begging you for a divorce. When we started our friendship,” Laurie scoffs and rolls her eyes, “it started out as a friendship, Laurie. At this point, I don’t really give a fuck what you think.”
“You could’ve stayed away!”
“And you could’ve kept your legs shut!”
“That’s none of your-”
“Laurie, don’t you dare fucking tell me how it’s not my business! You had no business telling that lie! You had no business giving my mother my fucking address! You had no business coming to my apartment and telling me to stay away from a man that you cheated on, again!”
“Well, it doesn’t seem like it matters now, does it?”
“Of course it doesn’t matter to you. Jacob is still inviting you to the wedding and Andy will never be as cruel to you as you deserve, so no. You don’t care.”
“Spare me your bullshit! I know you lied to Jacob about-”
“Lets not fucking sit here and pretend we’re the fucking same, Laurie! Andy and I lied because we were trying to figure out the best way to tell him and not hurt him! You lied because you’re a selfish bitch! You didn’t just lie to Jacob, you lied to Andy too.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to understand-”
“I don’t need to understand, Laurie! What you did was fucked and you know it. Somewhere inside, you know it and all this shit you’re trying to pull won’t change a fucking thing! You put yourself in your own personal hell.”
“Listen, we’re never going to see eye to eye on this-”
“You got that right,” you mutter, wishing Jacob would hurry up with your drink.
“I’m just asking...I know we’re going through a hard time right now, but please don’t turn Jacob away from me, okay? He hangs on every word you say and I know-”
“Laurie, it was never my intention for anyone to hate you. I tried to get Andy to work things out, I’ve tried to get Jacob to talk to you, and even after all the hell you’ve put me through, I haven’t said a negative word to anyone besides those close to me. I didn’t start this war, you did.”
Once again, you both just look at each other and you can tell that this is the most you two are ever going to agree on anything.
Which really isn’t saying much of anything.
“Is everything okay out here?” Andy asks, voice authoritative as walks down a few steps before sitting next to you, handing you your drink.
“As good as its gonna get,” you mutter, grabbing your drink and taking a sip of it.
“You should go and see Jacob,” Andy sighs as he looks at Laurie, and you can tell that he’s just as drained as you.
“He sent you back out here-”
“He didn’t send me anywhere. I volunteered as soon as he told met that you two were outside alone together. You’re his mother and he invited you to the wedding after all the shit you pulled. Go in there and show him you want to be apart of it. Show him you want to be apart of his life,” he practically pleads as he takes your hand in his.
Laurie looks from you to Andy before rolling her eyes and making her way inside.
“I miss you,” Andy sighs once he hears the door close behind the both of you and you lay your head on his shoulder. “I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too. In fact, if I remember correctly, you’re my boyfriend...right?”
“After the wedding-”
“I know, baby. I know,” you smile at him. “Where are you whisking me away to anyway?”
“Someplace you’ve always wanted to go.”
“Andy-”
“You already put in $250 for it,”
“Knowing you, that’ll amount to nothing.”
“The three of us will have fun. Besides, Lynn called in a few favors and it won’t be as expensive as you think.”
“Which means it’ll still be expensive.”
“Can you please just let me spoil you?”
“You always do,” you giggle before kissing the crook of his neck, “thank you, Andy.”
“Hm? For what?”
“It’s been a crazy couple of months and you’ve been so damn patient-”
“There’s no need to thank me for being a decent partner.”
“You’ve been so much more than decent.”
“It helps when you’re with someone who meets you half way.”
“I’d do anything for you. I love you.”
“And I love you,” he chuckles, kissing the top of your head. “What are the chances we can sneak out of here and-”
“There you two are!” Sarah beams, coming outside. “My parents wanna take pictures and won’t start without you two. Please, they’re driving me insane!”
“I don’t think we’re gonna be able to sneak anywhere,” you chuckle, the second Sarah is back inside.
“The wedding is tomorrow, the wedding is tomorrow,” he repeats as you get up.
“Come on, father of the year.”
“Yeah yeah.”
The rest of the rehearsal dinner goes off like a dream, and you force yourself not to cry when Jacob invites you to take pictures with the rest of the family; finally feeling like you’re accepted. While Sarah and Jacob make a small speech to thank everyone for coming and for being apart of their special day tomorrow, Andy pulls you down onto his lap and kisses the crook of your neck.
“Thank you, I love you,” he whispers before kissing you again.
Everything finally feels as it should. All of the hell you two have gone through, the tears you’ve shed, and all the pain you’ve felt in your heart have been worth it. Because Jacob and Sarah want to keep to tradition, Jake sleeps at you and Andy’s place, while you stay with Sarah. She keeps you up (along with multiple bottle of champagne), telling you how afraid she is of fucking everything up and that Jacob will leave her, but after a few sing-a-long and poorly put together dance battles, you convince her that everything is going to be okay and that she just needs rest.
You’re almost asleep when you hear your phone buzz.
My Heart: I know you’re gonna look beautiful tomorrow and I can’t wait to see you. I love you so much and I know our vacation is gonna be amazing. I love you so much and I miss you. Counting down the seconds till I can see you again.
As you drift off to sleep, you fall asleep knowing that everything you feel is reciprocated by Andy. The searching and crying is finally over.
You’ve found your only one.
**
“Why aren’t you partying with the rest of us?!” Sarah drunkenly yells as she reaches the head table.
“I will in a moment,” you laugh before finishing off your drink, “my feet just hurt.”
“Bullshit! I may be drunk, but I know when my best friend is sad! Talk to me!” she pleads as she rounds the table and takes a seat next to you.
“Sarah, it’s your wedding and I’m fi-”
“None of that, what’s going on? Who do I have to hurt?” she asks as she beckons a waiter with a tray of drinks over.
“No one,” you laugh, thanking the waiter with a nod as you grab a drink, “this is all just really nice.”
“And that has you feeling sad?”
“No! No, not at all! I just...it’s really not a big deal.”
“Y/N, you’ve been off all day, what’s going on?”
She isn’t wrong.
A sense of dread filled you the second you woke up. Maybe not dread...depression? You aren’t one hundred percent sure, but you know you’ve been upset from the moment you hit the snooze button on your phone.
Its not that you weren’t excited for Sarah and Jacob, but you felt a sense of...jealousy? Yeah, jealousy feels like a good word. Not because you want Jacob for yourself, but because you want to be married to Andy and you feel as if it’ll never happen.
Yeah, as the day went on and he saw you in your dress, Andy looked as if he was completely dumbfounded and it made you giggle a little. After all this time, it’s still so hard to believe that you can make Andy go weak in the knees. He watched you walk down the isle, he took all the family photos with you at his side, and hes done his best to keep you at his side, but you still can’t help but feel like...
“I’ll never have this,” you sigh before taking a sip of your drink. “Andy has been through this once before and got his heart broken in the worst way-”
“But hes found you and I think that’s worth doing this all over again.”
“In theory, it’s nice, but I truly can’t see him wanting to do this whole song and dance over again.”
“It won’t be a “song and dance”, babe. He’s so in love with you and you don’t even see it. It amazes me how much you don’t understand or see how much he loves and needs you.”
“That doesn’t mean-”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you hear Jacob’s voice interrupting in the speakers, “I’m just drunk enough that I can do this, but not drunk enough that I’ll forget. Y/N, you know what our song is and I promised you, on graduation day of high school-”
“Oh God,” you groan into the palm of your hand as Sarah looks from you to him.
“We swore that if I ever got married, we’d dance to this song, because it’s our anthem.”
“Jacob...please,” you cry out as the rest of the guests erupt into a fit of confused laughter.
“We’re keeping this pact, so you may as well get up off your ass,” Jacob laughs as ‘I’m Alright’ by Kenny Loggins starts playing.
“I don’t want to,” you groan.
“I don’t care, I’ve already made the announcement, lets go,” he laughs as he starts dancing to the song.
Sarah laughs as she gets you up and out onto the dance floor, and while dancing with Jacob makes you relax a little, it’s not enough to take your mind off of marrying Andy completely.
It’s not lost on you that Andy is in love with you, but just because someone is in love doesn’t necessarily mean they want marriage. Why should it matter though? Andy wants to spend the rest of his life with you, ring or not, he wants forever with you. It shouldn’t matter.
But it does.
God, you want to marry Andy so bad it fucking hurts. Yeah, it’s just a ceremony and a piece of paper to most, but for you it means so much more. It means everything. But how can you ask that? How can you ask him to do the whole thing all over again when it went so bad with Laurie? Yeah, he knows you would never do anything like that to him, but the pain is still there. The wounds, while mostly healed, are still there and you can’t blame him for not wanting to do it again. Sure, hes brought up marriage, but its been a few months and it’s just starting to feel like something that isn’t going to happen.
However, it’s not a deal breaker. At this point, you don’t really think anything is.
But God do you want it bad.
It’s not even about the fucking display. You two could get married in a courthouse or in a cardboard box, it really doesn’t matter to you. It’s not lost on you just how much Andy loves you, but someone committing to you? Someone acknowledging that commitment in the most final way? It’s what you’ve always dreamt of. Not only someone choosing you, but also just committing to you. Showing you that they love and want you above all else and aren’t ashamed of it. Aren’t ashamed of you.
By the time you two get home from the wedding, your mind is going a million
miles a minute, and you just want rest .
“Okay, so I know you said-”
You’re cut off by Andy pushing you against the wall and crashing his lips into
yours.
“Do you know how fucking hard it was for me to not rip this fucking dress
off of you?” he practically growls as he hoists your dress up and rips your panties off.
“Andy-”
“You looked so fucking good and I had to be a good little boy and keep my hands to myself!”
“Didn’t want you to,” you moan as his finger tips start teasing your clit. “Daddy, we have to...oh my God!”
“Gonna keep you up till we have to leave-”
“Daddy!” you mewl, wrapping your legs around his waist after he hoists you up.
“You want that?”
“I want everything you have to offer,” you pathetically whimper, keeping your lustful gaze on him.
Andy’s true to his word and keeps you up until the alarm on his phone goes off. He lets you rest while he packs up the car and gets Buttons ready, and you do your best to figure out where the hell you two are going that he needs you to get you both up and ready by 3:30am.
“Alright, your parents have agreed to watch the house while we’re gone for the next two weeks, and-”
“My parents? Andy, what the hell is going on?” you scoff, half awake as you feel yourself becoming more and more unfamiliar with your surroundings.
“We’re going on a trip. A real trip.”
“Andy.”
“Do you trust me?”
“You now I do.”
“Then don’t worry about it,” he smirks.
“I worry about it because you tend to do more than you should.”
“Only every once in a while.”
“Andy, where are we...are we going to the airport?”
“Mhm.”
“Andy! What did you do?!”
“We already knocked Italy off the list, where else have you been dying to go?”
“You didn’t! Paris is...Andy, it’s too much-”
“It’s not as expensive as you think,” he laughs, “besides, I told you I called in a few favors with Lynn.”
“Honey-”
“Stop it. I wanted to do this for you. Besides, this is probably gonna be our last big trip for a while, so it may as well be nice.”
“What? Why?”
“I put in my two weeks.”
“What?! When?!”
“ A week ago. I’ll start teaching a month after we get back.”
“Andy, that’s amazing! Congrats babe!” you beam, leaning across the console and kissing his cheek as Buttons starts barking.
“You’ll still love me even though I won’t make as much?”
“Andy, you could work at McDonalds and I’d still be head over heels.”
He looks over at you and gives you a sweet smile and all of your fears instantly fall away. No matter what, you’re all in forever.
Ring or not.
**
“Andy, this is gorgeous,” you gasp as you make you way into the hotel suite. “Were you wearing your glasses when you booked it?”
“This is exactly why I kept it a secret from you,” he groans and you laugh.
“This is exactly why you should have told me, because now I’m just going to tease you out of spite,” you taunt, sticking your tongue out at him.
While on the flight, you got up to use the bathroom and upon return, you saw Andy wearing reading glasses as he tried to decide what he wants to eat. He fessed up and told hes had them for a couple of months,and you’ve done nothing but give him hell since.
Truth be told though, he looks good as hell in them.
“Anyway, I guess did alright-off the bed, buddy,” Andy laughs as Buttons tries to set himself up. “Let me set up his bed, he’s probably exhausted.”
“I’ll do it, you’re pretty tired too.”
“I want you to do something else,” he smirks as he backs you against the wall.
“Now now, Mr. Barber, we have plenty of time for that,” you giggle.
“How am I supposed to contain myself while we’re in the city of love?” he husks against your neck before kissing it.
“Andy,” you moan.
“I want you to get yourself ready for me on the bed. Ten hours on a plane then an additional thirty minutes to get here? I’ve gone too long without you.”
“Daddy, I-”
“Gonna make up for all those nights I couldn’t take my time,” he promises as Buttons starts barking, “give me a second, Buttons,” he calls as he looks you over. “Go get ready,” he quietly demands before walking away.
Well, how the hell are you supposed to disobey him?
You slip into the bedroom and start to undress yourself before an idea pops into your head. It’s been so long and you want to take your time with him. You wanna get lost in and explore him all over again. You settled yourself into the center of the bed, lifting your dress just a little and leaving your heels on. You prop yourself up on your elbows, and anxiously wait for him to come back. Yeah, you two have made love a million times, but you still get so anxious every time. The way Andy looks at you is always so intense and he makes sure to pay attention to every part of you. There’s no hiding from him and it’s also so intense. Even when it’s fast.
“Now, I do believe I told you to get ready for me, sweetheart,” he sighs, rolling up the sleeves of black Henley shirt.
“You said you wanna make up for all the nights that we couldn’t our time. I figured we’d undress each other and take our time. Get lost in one another.”
“Is that what you want, baby? For Daddy to slowly pull you apart?” he questions, pulling on one of the ribbons on your shoes and softly taking it off your foot.
“Mhm, I want it so bad,” you whimper, biting your bottom lip, holding his heated gaze.
“Then that’s exactly what we’ll do,” he promises you as he drops your other shoe to the ground.
He starts leaving a trail of soft kissing up your body, licking and sucking on your inner thigh (smirking at the sound of your desperate cries), hooking his fingers onto your panties and slowly pulling them down as you start to buck your hips.
“Daddy please!” you whine, gripping his hair as you try to feel more of him.
“I thought you wanted us to take our time?”
“I need to feel you! Please!”
“Always so desperate,” he chuckles before licking your clit. “You look so cute in this dress, honey,” he praises, sliding two fingers into your greedy channel. “Always so fucking beautiful.”
“I know much love red,” you moan, your toes curling as he picks up his pace. “I love looking my best for you!”
“You always look so beautiful, babygirl. I can never take my eyes off of you,” he hums before dipping down, sucking and licking on your clit.
“Fuck!”
You do your best to focus all of your attention on him as you grind your pussy against his face, but it just feels too damn good.Yeah, you knew that you missed him, but you weren’t aware of how much until now. Having him alone like this, just as desperate for you as you are for him? It’s heaven.
“I’m so close...daddy please! Don’t stop! I’ve needed you so...fuck, right there!” you cry out as you cum hard on his fingers.
Andy’s smirk is devious as he swirls his tongue around your clit and he picks up the pace. You try to keep your focus on him, but the pleasure is too much and you lull your head back in ecstasy.
“Eyes on Daddy, sweet girl,” he taunts, the vibration of his words almost sending you over the edge, as he adds another finger before curling.
“Feels so fucking good!”
“You know how I much I love eating this perfect little cunt, but eyes on me or I’ll stop.”
“Daddy please!” you whine pathetically, forcing your gaze back on him.
“Such a good girl,” he praises before resuming his assault on your clit.
“I...I love you so much,” you sob, feeling that knot in your tighten again, “you make....make me feel so fucking good! Fuck!”
A grunt of satisfaction leaves Andy’s mouth as you squirt hard, coating the lower half of Andy’s face and his fingers. As he fucks you through your high, you pray that Buttons is able to sleep.
Poor baby is probably all fucked up with the time change as it is.
“So fucking gorgeous,” Andy coos as he resumes kissing up your body, “you look so good when you come apart for me, honey.”
“Missed you so much, baby.”
“Oh, I know you did, sweetheart. I missed you too, baby. Gonna take my time showing you just how much,” he promises before kissing you passionately.
You start tugging on the hem of his shirt, desperate to see all of him as pulls down the straps of your dress, pressing sloppy kisses all along your shoulder. When you start to giggle, he stops and looks at you.
“What?”
“We can’t be too loud, Buttons!”
“You really are the sweetest thing, aren’t you?” he laughs, sitting up and taking off his shirt.
“He’s our sweet baby boy! He needs rest,” you giggle as you unbutton his jeans. “He needs a break too.”
“We’ll make it up to him, I promise,” he smirks before dipping down to kiss you. “Waited so long to hear you scream for me.”
“Daddy-”
“Gotta get you out of this fucking dress,” he grunts, pulling your dress up and over your head. “Never get tired of seeing this perfect fucking body, and no bra? What a filthy little thing.”
“Gotta keep quiet,” you whimper, shying away slightly as he looks you over.
“Can’t wait to fuck a baby into this perfect little pussy. You want that, honey?”
“You know I do,” you whimper, losing your resolve to be a good pet parent as you pull his boxer briefs down. “I want everything with you.’
“Then that’s what I’ll give you,” he husks as he thrusts himself inside of you, “I’ll give you fucking everything.”
Andy grips your thighs tight as he starts fucking you hard and fast, snickering as your eyes roll to the back of your head as you mindlessly claw at him.
“Please...fuck! Daddy!”
“Already fucked so stupid? We’re just getting started, sweet girl.”
“It’s too much! Need to...need to cum!”
“Hold on for me, I know you can be a good girl and hold on,” he commands before starting to suck on the sweet of your neck.
“It’s too much! Please...oh my God! I can’t...fuck, I can’t...!”
“That desperate for me?” he smirks, licking his thumb before using it to massage your clit.
“Daddy!”
“Go ahead, make a mess for me, baby. Cream all over daddy’s cock, honey!”
“Andy!” you cry out, making a mess on his cock and you’re sure the bed.
“And we’re just getting started,” he smirks, pulling you upright with him, before resting back on his legs.
“So full, daddy,” you moan as you start to grind your hips against his.
“But you’re still so desperate?”
“Need so much more of you, daddy,” you whine before giggling. “Fuck.”
“What?”
“Looks like someone’s up,” you smile, waving at Buttons.
“Go back to bed, bud,” Andy chuckles. “Mom and dad are just getting started.”
Andy takes his time pulling you apart over and over, telling you just how much he loves and needs you. How much hes been looking forward to a future with you and how you’ll all he’ll ever need anyone in his life besides you. As you two get tangled up in the fancy sheets of the French hotel, you tell yourself that you’ll need or want for anything or anyone else.
Andy is all you’ll need for life.
**
“Okay, I know we have to go back home in a few days, but what if we don’t?” you ask Andy as you three sit outside at the restaurant you both has come to to love, La Fontaine de Mars.
“I would stay here with you forever if I could,” Andy laughs as he cuts into is roasted duck breast, “but we have lives to get back.”
“Yeah, but Newton, right Buttons?” you ask before taking a sip of your wine. When he barks at you, you nod at Andy, “see?”
“While it’s definitely not been my favorite place for a few years, Jacob and Sarah are there.”
“They’ll totally move to Paris,” you grin and he chuckles.
“I promise we’ll come back.”
“No no, I’m just being spoiled,” you mumble, cutting into your red label salmon fillet.
“No, we both love it here,we’ll definitely gonna come back. It won’t be an annual thing, but it’ll be something that we’ll do again. Just us and Buttons,” he promises with a smile.
“Yeah? What about when we have kids?”
“Jacob is against them, so we’ll them with him,” Andy shrugs and you laugh much harder than you mean to.
“God, I love making you happy.”
“It’s something you constantly do.”
“Promise?”
“I swear.”
“I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you, Andy.”
Once you’re both finished eating, and Buttons has had his fair share of treats, you resume your adventure hand-in-hand. You still can’t believe you’re in Paris, and you it’s even harder to believe that you’re in Paris with Andy. How can someone be this good to you? How can he love you this much?
“Okay, this is our last stop of the day,” he says as you reach the ‘Pont des Arts’. “To ensure that I keep my promise to you, we’re gonna put our initials on this locket, throw away the key, and we’ll come back whenever and find our locket. Sound good?”
“Andy Barber, you compete fucking sweetheart,” you beam as your eyes start to water a little.
He puts his initials first, then you put yours, before Andy finds a spot on the rail and secures.
“Andy...”
“I love you and I promise a lifetime of more memories and adventures with you.”
“You are my whole world.”
“And you mine, mon amour,” he smiles before kissing you passionately.
Yeah, they weren’t lying when they said that Paris is for lovers.
**
“Baby, what the hell are you doing?” Andy laughs from the bottom of the staircase.
“I can’t find my fucking sunglasses!” you scowl, going through your dresser drawer again.
“We can buy you new a pair!” he laughs.
“But these are my favorite!” you pout, realizing you may have left them in Paris.
The three of you got back from Paris about two weeks ago, and it’s all you’ve been talking. With today being your anniversary, you wish you two could’ve stayed longer, but it’s not like you don’t understand why you two can’t.
Money doesn’t just grow on trees
“I think I left them in Paris,” you mutter as you make your way downstairs.
“We’ll get you a new pair,” Andy laughs as he picks you up and you wrap your legs around him.
“I don’t want a new pair.”
“Don’t be brat.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s our anniversary.”
“It is, isn’t?” you smile at him.
“You bet your ass, and I’m treating you.”
“You just treated me! What-”
“No, that was a vacation we all needed. This is me spoiling you with love because you deserve it.”
“Well, maybe I just want to spend the day spoiling you.”
“Too bad, I called dibs, so lets go. Buttons!” he calls and your favorite boys quickly makes his way over to the both of you.
“Where are you taking us?”
“So many questions with you.”
“It’s one question!”
“One question too many, now hush,” he laughs, setting you down before putting his shoes on.
You stick your tongue out at him, but toe on your sandals before leashing up Buttons and making your way outside to Andy’s car.
“Ready for the best day ever?” Andy asks, unlocking the car before opening your door for you.
“Everyday with you is the best day ever,” you smile as Buttons jumps in.
Andy only chuckles before shaking his head and giving you a kiss on your forehead. You think nothing of it because what really makes today any different from any other day?
“What exactly are we doing today?” you ask as he starts the car.
“Gonna take a little trip down memory lane, then watch a movie about us,” he smiles at you.
“A movie about us? What movie could that possibly be?”
“You’ll see,” he smirks.
“Andy-”
“Enough questions. I love you and happy anniversary,” he laughs.
“You know, you spend entirely too much money on me.”
“You don’t even know what we’re doing!”
“It feels like it’s gonna be expensive.”
“Just hush and enjoy the day,” he laughs as Buttons barks.
“Uh huh, we’ll just see.”
“You’ll love it,” he promises as he takes your hand in it and kisses the back of it.
**
The day is better than anything you could have imagined. Andy spent the better half of the day, taking you to all of the places that are important points in your relationship. The Chinese food spot you two first bonded over, the park where you two would sometimes meet up and talk, the 24 hour ice cream where you two first hung out, the shelter where you both adopted Buttons (they were so excited to see him and how happy he was), and the bar where he begged you to not give up on the two of you.
He told you how happy he was that you kissed him that night and thanked you for being so patient and understand, while he was trying to get away from Laurie and set up a life for the two of you.
It’s safe to say you’ve cried more than once today.
“You look so beautiful in that dress,” he smiles as you two make your way back inside the house.
“It’s old.”
“You make it look amazing.”
“Alright you,” you smile sheepishly, “what is this movie we’re watching?”
“It’s a movie about us.”
“What does that even mean?”
“You’ll see, it’s set up in the backyard.”
“Andy-”
“Jesus, just come on,” he laughs, taking your hand and leading you to the backyard.
When you get outside, the little patio table is covered in rose petals, the chairs are facing the lawn where a screen and projector are set up, and there small candles set up around the patio floor.
“Andy...”
“The story of us,” he smiles as he presses play on the remote.
‘Selfish’ by the Jonas Brothers starts playing as a slide show of the two of you starts. The first picture you two ever took together at the 24 hour ice cream place, the the video of making fun of your driving, the times spent in your loft eating Chinese, photos of you sleeping on his chest that you hadn’t even known he’d taken, videos of him laughing at you and Jacob dancing, some photos that you’re more than sure Sarah took of the two of you, the photos from Rome, videos of you making dinner in his crew neck, some photos of you and Buttons sleeping together, the pictures from Paris, and a selfie you took of you two kissing at the park.
It truly is the story of you two.
“Y/N, I know none of this has been ideal or easy, but we made it,” he starts as the slide show comes to an end. “All of the long nights, the tears, the drama...we are still here and deeply in love with one another. How i lived my life so long without you, I have no clue, but I know it’s something I never want to experience again. You are my best friend, my soulmate, and the love of my life. There is no one funnier, smarter, loyal, selfless, gorgeous, and loving than you. I want to keep buying you gifts that you think are too much, I want dance parties in the kitchen while we’re making dinner, I want you to keep picking on me because I have to wear glasses now,” he laughs and you giggle with a sniffle, “and I want every day and every night to keep starting and ending with you in my arms. I want you forever, Y/N. So,” he he clears his throat and gets down on one knee, pulling a velvet black box and opening it, “will you marry me?”
The ring is gorgeous, but you barely get a chance to look at it because you tackle Andy with the biggest hug you’ve ever given him.
“Of course I’ll marry you!” you sob as cheers and applauds break out and you hear a champagne bottle open.
You look around to see your parents and Sarah and Jacob all tearing and clapping.
“You knew?!”
“We’ve known for a little over a year,” Sarah laughs as finally let go and wrapping her in a tight hug.
“You’re okay with this?” you ask Jacob, afraid that the dream might come crumbling down in a second.
“I couldn’t be happier for either one of you,” he promises reassuringly and you quickly wrap your arms around him.
“Thank you, Jacob. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
When you break away from him, you look at your parents. Despite all the hell you all have been through, things are actually getting better and your heart swells knowing that Andy put aside his issues with them and invited them.
The man really does get you.
“Thank you for being here and getting along,” you sob with a smile, hugging them both as tight as you can.
“Thank you for wanting us here,” your father whispers back, hugging you just as tight.
“Let him put the ring on!” you mother sobs with a laugh.
“Holy shit, the ring!” you exclaim as everyone laughs.
You quickly make your way back to Andy who just shakes his head as he slips it on your ring finger.
“I love you, Andy. So damn much.”
“Here’s to forever,” he smiles before dipping down and kissing you.
As drinks are poured and food is ordered, you look around you and see Jacob and Sarah playing with Buttons, while your parents talk with Andy about wedding plans. As tears of joy come down your face the reality that you are finally going to have the life that you’ve always dreamed of.
Fairy tale dreams really do come true.
6 Years Later...
“Mama!”
“In the kitchen, babygirl” you call to your daughter, Ava, as you cut up lettuce.
Her hurried little footsteps mixing with the sound of Buttons excited big paws makes you smile.
“Hi Mama!” she beams, wrapping her arms around your waist.
“Hey babygirl, how was swim class?”
“Good! Right dad?!” she asks Andy as he makes his way into the kitchen, greeting you with a kiss on the forehead.
“She did amazing, she’s the fastest swimmer in the class.”
“With you as her dad, I’m not surprised.”
“Mama, can I play outside with Butty?”
“Only for a little bit. Dinner is gonna be ready soon, okay?”
“Thank you! Lets go Butty!” she beams before running out back, your sweet boy following right behind her.
Andy kept his promise and took you to Paris for the honeymoon, and wasted no time getting you pregnant. Constantly telling you that the best part of being pregnant, was getting pregnant.
He wasn’t wrong.
By the sixth month, you were over it and just wanted it out, but after 8 hours of swearing like a sailor, you welcomed Ava Rose Barber into the world. Andy was obsessed from the moment that he held her.
His teaching job isn’t exactly his most favorite thing, but he’s capable of having a flexible schedule, so he’s fine with it for the most part. You quit your job soon after you gave birth, and after some back and forth with Andy, you became a receptionist for a law firm. The hours aren’t awful, you make good money, and you’re home in more than enough to get dinner ready and spend time with Ava.
As for you and Andy, you somehow find yourself falling more in love with him. Every kiss still feels like the first time, every smile makes your heart melt, every touch still sets your skin alight, and every time you two make love he makes you feel that euphoric high that he’s only ever made you feel.
Your life is like a dream and it’s all because of Andy.
Your true home.
“That little girl has so much energy. Do they all always have so much energy?” he questions as he takes a seat at the kitchen island.
“Yes, my love, all children have entirely too much energy,” you laugh softly.
“Thank God we only have one.”
“Two,” you quip with a smile.
“Well yeah, but Buttons has four legs, he’s gotta get that energy out.”
“No Andy,” you laugh, “two.”
“Two...two? Who’s the other...TWO?!” Andy exclaims jumping up and running over to you. “Two?! You’re...?!”
“Took the test about two hours ago,” you laugh as he wraps his arms around you.
About two months ago, Jacob and Sarah took Ava and Buttons for the night so you and Andy could have a date night. Your little strip tease at the end of the night worked out a lot better than you thought it would, and Andy couldn’t keep his hands off of you.
Or remember to use protection.
“Shit! Honey, I fucking love you so much!”
“I love you too,” you giggle as you stand on your tip toes and place a kiss on his lips.
“This is the last one though.”
“Oh, this is definitely the last one, Atticus” you laugh, nodding in a agreement.
“What are we so happy about?” Jacob asks as he and Sarah make there way inside.
“What have I told you about using your key without letting us know?” you question, cocking your eyebrow.
“Yeah yeah, I know what I can walk in on,” he mutters as Sarah bursts out laughing, and you shake your head. “We were on our way to dinner and thought we’d have a family night. We haven’t had one in a while and I miss Ava.”
“That’s sweet, but I’m making dinner. You guys wanna stay? I know Ava would love it. Ravioli, garlic bread, a salad, and her big brother.”
“Sounds good,” he smiles, walking over to the fridge and grabbing a beer for both him and Andy.
“You and I missy, we need to have a wine night soon,” Sarah sighs, going to grab two wine glasses/
“Uh...I can’t have one for a few months. Seven to be exact.”
“OH MY GOD! CONGRATS!” she screams, wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug.
“Again? Don’t you two have any damn hobbies?” Jacob smirks as Andy lets out a full bodied laugh.
“Mama, is it-JAKEY!” Ava screams, running over to the one person she looks up to the most. “Hi!”
“Hey you,” he smiles, picking her up.
“Are you and Sarah staying for dinner?”
“Looks like it.”
“Can we watch Disney movies after?”
“We can watch one,” you interrupt, finishing up the salad, “you have your dance recital tomorrow, and your grandparents are taking us out to lunch after.”
“Oh fine,” she pouts before turning her attention back to Jacob, “do you and Sarah wanna help me set up the table?!”
“We’d love to,” Sarah laughs, grabbing plates out of the cabinet.
Andy feeds Buttons the rice and chicken mixture you’ve started making for him, before walking over to you and taking the garlic bread out of the oven and resting it on top of the stove.
He stands next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, and you both lean against the sink, watching your family smile and laugh as they set up the table. Andy kisses your temple and you feel so happy and content in this moment. After all the hell you and Andy have been through, everything has finally come together.
You both finally turned the dream into a reality.
~~
taglist: @emerald-evans, @maroonsunrise83, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, @companionjones, @here4thefanfics, @nnormalgirl01, @patzammit, @sapphire-rogers, @jamneuromain, @yiiiikesmish, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters, @liecastillo, @autumnrose40, @pono-pura-vida, @fuckingbye, @nomadstucky, @greeneyedblondie44, @mazda098,
#andy barber#andy barber x reader#andy barber x y/n#Andy Barber series#andy barber fic#Defending Jacob#defending jacob smut#defending jacob fanfiction#defending jacob fanfic#andy barber x you#andy barber x female reader#andy barberxreader#Andy Barber smut#andy barber fanfiction#Defending Jacob AU#chris evans characters#fanfiction#fan fiction#fanfic#fan fic#fan fic smut#Andy Barber Fluff
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Okay okay he was so smooth getting her number and then... oh Mamma Mia 😶🌫️ can't wait to see what happens next🥰
The History of Love: Part 1 - Professor Andy x Student Reader
Warnings: Teacher x Student relationship (later parts)
Word Count: ~1100
Author's Note: I've wanted to write a Professor Andy fic for the longest time but couldn't make anything work. Then last night, when I was trying to fall asleep, inspiration struck and ta-da! Anyways, this is the first part of several.
You toss the shot back and wince before slamming the glass down on the table. You can’t believe you’re out drinking the night before the semester starts, but it was Kay’s birthday and you couldn’t say no to your best friend.
“Wooooooo!” Kay yells, holding her arms up in triumph. Your friends laugh and cheer before someone orders another round. Tiny shot glasses are being passed around again, but you beg off, excusing yourself to use the restroom.
In the empty ladies’ room, you splash some cold water on your face and sigh. Your senior year of college starts tomorrow, which is totally weirding you out. Soon you will have to start applying for grad schools and figuring out what to do next with your life. It’s crazy how time flies.
You look down at your phone and notice you’ve been in the bathroom for ten minutes. You take a deep breath and head back out into the bar. As you exit the ladies' room you aren’t watching where you are going and run smack into someone else.
“Oh sorry, excuse me,” you stutter out, looking up at who you ran into.
“No worries,” the man responds, before taking a good look at you. He smiles at you and offers his hand. “I’m Andy,” he says.
“I’m Y/N,” you reply, trying not to blush at the handsome brunette shaking your hand. He’s clearly older than you as he’s beginning to go a little gray at his temples.
“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. What are you doing here tonight?” he asks.
“Here at the bathroom or here at the bar?” you ask back, wishing you were better at flirting. It must have worked though cause Andy lets out a small chuckle.
“Here at the bar.”
“Oh, celebrating my roommate Kay’s birthday,” you tell him, glancing back toward the bar where you can hear your friends' loud laughter.
“Uh, what about you?” you ask.
“Getting to know my new colleagues,” Andy responds. You notice then that he’s dressed in a nice suit which is not the normal dress code for the college bar.
“Well, I best let you get back to your friends,” Andy says, shifting awkwardly between his feet. You nod and begin to walk away, but Andy calls out after you.
“Actually, can I buy you a drink?” he asks.
“I thought you had to go to the bathroom,” you tell him.
“I do, but I don’t want to stop talking to you,” he says, causing you to blush.
“Okay,” you reply.
“I just gotta, uh,” he stammers, pointing toward the bathroom. “Just don’t leave.”
“I won’t,” you promise him. Andy smiles at you and then disappears into the bathroom. You rush off back to the bar.
“Where have you been?” Kay asks with a drunken giggle as you rejoin the group.
“I…uh…met a guy,” you admit.
“I thought you were in the bathroom. You met a guy in the bathroom?” she asks, looking shocked. You give her a playful smack to the arm which only makes her giggle some more.
“I met him outside the bathroom,” you inform her.
“Well good for you, it’s about time you spread your wings a little,” she teases. Before you can respond, Andy emerges from the back hallway and catches your eye before giving you a wave.
You wave back and then turn to look at Kay who giggles and gives you a wink.
“An older man, how scandalous,” she teases you before practically pushing you out of your seat and sending you back to the bar.
“Have fun and use protection!” she shouts after you as you make your way over to Andy.
It doesn’t take long for you to realize you and Andy have a lot in common. You’re both Boston natives, you are die-hard Red Sox fans, and you both geek out on history. Before you know it, it’s been two hours and your friends are getting ready to head back to campus.
You glance down at your watch and realize it's after midnight. Your first class is at 9am and you know it’s time for you to head home as well.
“It’s getting late,” Andy says as you look up from your watch.
“Yeah,” you reply, kind of sad to have to go. Kay was right, it’s been a while since you’ve clicked with a guy as much as you have with Andy tonight. You notice Andy shifting awkwardly in his seat a little before pulling out his phone.
“I’m a little out of practice at this, but uh, could I have your number?” Andy asks. “I’d like to take you out for dinner sometime, would that be okay?”
“Yes,” you eagerly respond. Andy hands you his phone and you input your number in before handing it back. Andy types something into his phone and you feel yours buzz in your pocket.
“And now you have my number,” Andy smiles, making you blush a little.
“Y/N!!!!” Kay shouts from across the bar where all your friends are waiting by the door.
“I, uh, better go,” you tell Andy. He nods and stands as you get up. “It was really nice to meet you,” you tell him.
“It was nice to meet you too,” Andy responds. You shuffle a little before Kay yells at you again from the doorway. Andy leans in and presses a quick kiss to your cheek.
“Goodnight, Y/N,” Andy says as he pulls back.
“Goodnight, Andy,” you respond with a smile, before making your way over to your friends.
------
The next morning as you sit in the lecture hall next to Kay, who is slightly grumpy from her hangover, you re-read Andy’s text message for the millionth time.
Andy: I had such a great time tonight. Can't believe I found someone who might be a bigger Red Sox fan than I am. ;-)
You’re so distracted by your phone that you don’t notice the professor walk in, but you can feel Kay sit up straighter next to you.
“Uh, Y/N, isn’t that the guy you were flirting with at the bar last night?” she whispers to you. Your head snaps up and indeed she is right, standing there at the front of the lecture hall is Andy. You look back down at your class schedule and notice that it says A. Barber next to "professor" for this class. You never had gotten Andy’s surname last night.
“Good morning, everyone,” Andy greets the class, still rearranging the stack of papers on the front table. “This is History 303: Colonial America,” he informs everyone, finally looking up and scanning the class before his eyes fall on you.
“Oh fuck,” you whisper back in shock.
Part 2
#fic rec#andy barber#andy barber fic#andy barber x female reader#andy barber x you#andy barber x reader#professor andy barber#chris evans#chris evans fic#defending jacob#defending jacob fanfiction#defending jacob fic#chris evans x reader#chris evans fanfic#chris evans fanfiction#andy barber fanfiction#teacher x student#chris evans x you#chris evans imagine#andy barber x y/n#series: the history of love
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unhinged worlds 3
summary: A few years after your father died, your mother marries a new man, to you having a new family meant new beginnings, but what happens when your new beginning comes spiraling apart just because of the people that made them.
paring: dark stepdad Andy Barber x reader x dark dbf Lloyd Hansen x reader x dark stepbrother Johnny storm x reader x dark bbf Colin Shea. warnings- (DDLG undertones) stepcest, Johnny is NOT Andy's biological father, he is the adopted son. smut, do not engage if you are uncomfortable with any of the following, spanking, blackmail, p in v, edging, thigh riding, oral, fingering.
Series master list right here
This all seemed so wrong–actually it was wrong. The way Andy was eating you out like a madman between your thighs seemed too good to be true, and the fact that some deep part of you liked this made you shiver. Maybe it was because of the foreign praise Johnny and Colin gave you while you squirmed in their grasp while desperately trying to give yourself an ounce of freedom.
“Aww, honey I just know you’re so close already”, Colin said with a mocking grin.
Apparently, Andy didn’t seem to be fooled by your desperate attempt to conceal the moans that were forced out of the back of your throat, because you felt his mouth attach to your clit and aggressively start sucking. You suddenly jumped back, trying to create some sort of distance between the both of you. Andy then just wrapped his arms around your thighs–pulling you closer, which caused a sudden spasm to exit your body.
“Mmm, look at you sweetheart, all sensitive and shit,” Johnny cooed while pinching your exposed nipples, which caused you to let out a weak squeal.
Colin chuckled and squeezed your other nipple roughly, “She’s just a Baby Johnny, she obviously can’t help it,” he said as he leaned down and pecked your forehead. “can’t you Honey? You’ve never felt this good, have you?”
You really haven’t ever felt this good before. Not that you would ever let any of the three men know that, but the desperate whine you let out as Andy shoved his tongue deeper inside of you just made the two men taunt you more, and the unwanted pleasure that Andy was giving you and with the crude words that spilled out of Johnny and Colin–you could feel that tension building up in your lower stomach want to unravel.
Johnny brushed your hair off your sweat covered forehead with his hand, then leaned down to give you a slight peck on your temple, “C'mon sweetheart, go ahead and cum for me–I know you want to.”, Johnny said with a teasing coo.
Andy then reached up to rub your clit, and that was your breaking point. You no longer could hold in that burning sensation, so you just let it go–feeling your body unravel all at once felt like heaven–you must have not noticed the pornographic moan you let out because the chatter of how ‘pretty she sounds’ came to topic.
As soon as your senses finally came back, you didn’t feel loved or cared about at all. You felt dirty, used even. As you lay on the couch with teary eyes, trying to keep up with the sound of your heartbeat, just so you could try to focus on anything other than the situation you're currently in.
Andy snapped you out of your train of thought when you felt your body being set up to lean against Johnny. Suddenly feeling exposed you bring your knees up to your chest while trying to somewhat cover your exposed chest, but considering the only two bare naked people in the room are You and Johnny–it didn’t seem to surprise you.
Andy then grabbed your chin and tilted your head up, so your gaze was meeting his, then he said, “You did really good honey, I know that was scary, but you sat there and took it like a big girl. Daddy’s so so proud of you.”, he then leaned in to give you a soft kiss on the lips.
Even though his praises did make you feel a little better–you couldn’t stop shaking–the heater broke at the end of spring, so it was always extra chilly in your house. That's why you always wore comfy sweaters around.
Johnny seemed to notice how much you were shivering when he wrapped his arms around you because he said, “You cold baby? Don’t you know I’m a human furnace?”, he asked with a teasing tone. You responded with a small, “yes..I’m cold”, and Johnny seemed to take that as a pass to go ahead and pull you on top of his lap while he adjusted his arms to wrap around you more tightly.
You didn’t even notice Andy left because he came back with what looks like one of his cable knit sweaters and a fresh pair of panties, then he made his way over to you with long strides before kneeling in front of you.
“Daddy got you a nice cozy sweater and fresh pair of panties for his special girl.” Andy said softly as he pulled the overly large sweater over your head and pulled the cotton panties up your legs.
Colin cooed teasingly at your flushed face before saying, “aww, that was nice sweetheart, what do you say?”, you looked down at your lap and fidgeted with your fingers–trying to hide your flushed face.
Andy chuckled before responding for you, “Don’t tease her, she’s just a little shy right now. Isn’t that right honey?”, you look at Andy's smug expression before nodding.
He kisses your forehead before standing back up and sitting by you and Johnny, “That reminds me, your uncle Lloyd is coming tomorrow to stay for a while–you don’t know him honey, but-”, Andy gets cut off by Johnny when he quickly responds with, “That fucker is NOT my uncle. Why is that asshole coming anyway?” Andy rolls his eyes at his banter before he continues.
“Well, I’ve been telling him about our little angel, and he wants to come and see her.”, Andy says sternly. This conversation between them both seemed to make you perk up because, who is Lloyd? Why has he been telling this man about you?
Andy seemed to sense your concern, so he pulled you onto his lap, “Oh honey, there's no reason to be worried...”, he said before he adjusted you on his lap, so you were straddling his legs, then he rested his hands on your hips.
Andy then continued, “Lloyd really likes you sweet girl, so there would be no reason for him to be mean to you unless you’re not very nice, but I won’t have to worry about that because you're a good girl, right?” You paused, trying to process his words, but the expression on his face said, ‘give me an answer now.’ so you just nodded.
“Words angel, I wanna hear that pretty voice.” Andy said sternly, so you responded “Yeah”, you could tell that wasn’t what he was looking for, but he seemed to settle thankfully.
Colin then pitched in, “don’t believe him baby, that guy is a total asshole–he’s probably into some fucked up shit-” Andy cut him off quickly before scolding, “Stop that, you’re scaring her..remember you’re in my house Colin.”
This new information makes you nervous. Scared actually. What if Colin was right–just like he was right about Andy. All you felt right now was overwhelmed and afraid, you never asked for any of this, so now you could only assume this random man was gonna come here and do worse things to you.
You could feel a sob bubbling up in your throat, chest tight, heart racing, you don’t know why you felt embarrassed about the tears that were running down your face. They are the ones doing this to you, it's not your fault, but you couldn’t seem to think when you were hyperventilating and a fresh rack of sobs coming out all at once.
Andy tried to calm you down, rubbing your back and squeezing you in a tight hug did little to cease how upset you felt, “sweetheart, look at me.”, you couldn’t think all you could do was trying to get away from him–you hated how he touched you–how safe he made you feel, how gentle he was. You hated this but you couldn’t help but look at him when he told you too.
“Such a good girl..I know you’re overwhelmed honey, but nothing bad is ever gonna happen to you when you’re here. Lloyd is not gonna hurt you because he knows he needs to be gentle with you.” Andy said as he pressed your head into the crook of his neck.
Johnny leaned over to rub your back and pressed a kiss on the top of your head before saying, “Colin was just exaggerating baby, he’s not that much of an asshole.” Johnny then got up and stretched his arms above his head before continuing, “In fact, he’ll probably treat you just like his little princess, I bet you’ll end up loving it as much as he does.” he ends as he walks away with a yawn.
You could hear a distant “goodnight”, being called, but you just laid against Andy’s chest–listening to the sound of his heartbeat as he spoke once more, “He’s right honey, everything is gonna be okay..I’d explain more but you look sleepy, you wanna sleep with daddy tonight? I give great bedtime cuddles.”
You yawned tiredly before snuggling into his chest more and closing your eyes, letting sleep take you over. Andy chuckled before peppering a bunch of kisses on your face, “Alright cutie, let’s get you to bed. Goodnight Colin don’t say anymore shit like that again.” he said while giving a glare to Colin.
“Night’ Mr. B, tell my baby I said goodnight.” Colin responded with a smug grin.
Andy gave him a groan and carried you bridal style to his bedroom–setting your sleeping figure under the duvet. He walked over to his side of the bed, sliding his shirt off while watching your sleepy figure. Andy slid under the blanket beside you and reached over your head to turn the lap off. He pulled you closer to his chest and kissed the crown of your head.
Andy yawned quietly, “goodnight honey, I love you.”
Tag list.
@xycnsstuff
@wolfsmom1
@abbyyourlocalmilf
@jeelsinha
A/n: its currently 12am, sorry I took such a long time for part 3, enjoy! (let me know if you would like to be tagged.)
#x reader#chris evans x reader#chris evans#chris evans characters#unhinged worlds#chris evans headcanon#dark fic#fluffy#dark andy barber x reader#dark andy barber#dark johnny storm x reader#dark johnny storm#dark colin shea x reader#tw stepcest#stepdad andy barber x reader#stepbrother johnny storm x reader#imagines#chris evans character fanfiction#fantastic 4#defending jacob#whats your number#smut#dark lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen x reader#dark lloyd hansen x reader#lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen x you#lloyd hansen x y/n#lloyd hansen smut#series
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Sexuality Profile: Andy
The main thing about Andy is that he likes power and control.
Not in a hardcore BDSM way, mind you. Oh no. He's a true Daddydom.
Mature Content below the break. Consume Responsibly.
He really loves to just have you be his good girl who's always going to listen to him and be sweet and needy for him. His wife is frigid, so he loves having a woman who is always ready and willing. He likes feeling wanted for a change.
So he's definitely the most "Daddy" of all your five guys, and he knows it because you tell him all the time. You call him Daddy waaay more than you do Ari, Lloyd, Kemp, or Bucky.
When you're with him, he's in complete control - and that's how you like it! He takes over so you don't have to worry about anything. Gone is the usually calculating, business savvy sex worker. In her place? A vulnerable, sweet girl.
You wouldn't characterize it as "age play," what you two do. It's more so just focused on a power imbalance dynamic: He's the smart, in charge, capable one; and you're the innocent, helpless, dumb(ish) one. It's a persona you fall into for him, and yet it doesn't feel like 'acting' at all. You love the escape of getting to be a sweet dumb thing for him.
Andy and Kemp are the only ones of your five who are married (Ari's divorced). Now, Kemp is just completely disengaged from his wife, but you don't get the sense that he minds her.
Andy minds Laurie. He is very unhappily married and would prefer to be divorced, but the stakes are too high (finances, custody of his son). There is ... something else, though.
You don't know what, but there is something dark in his past that Laurie knows about and holds over him. Andy once did something to protect his son Jacob, and you have your suspicions, but he shuts down whenever you ask (so you don't ask).
Whatever is is, you know he's stuck living in a house with a woman he hates.
So for Andy in particular, you really do serve as an escape. You're everything his wife Laurie isn't: submissive, kind, caring, young and sweet, accommodating, and sensual.
He's been diminished and emasculated by his wife for so long, you're like a breath of fresh air to him. You're a place he can come to relax, indulge ...
... and even vent. Out of all your daddies, Andy is the most into spanking.
And for him it's not just a spur of the moment kind of thing. Sure, he'll give you a playful swat during sex, but he also has rules and discipline set in place for you and will calmly punish you with spankings when you fall short.
One of your favorite places to be is over his lap on the bed, his steady voice asking if you're comfortable "before we get started," his hands caressing lightly all over your bum before that first, dedicated smack comes down.
Andy knows how to spank, and his big, masculine hands can pack a wallop. He'll usually let you grind, or situate a vibrating toy under you while he spanks. It's only if you've really done bad that he'll spank you without any stimulation at all.
Now, you like smacks during sex just fine, but you never imagined that you could get so wet from grinding your clit against your daddy's thigh while he punishes you.
You've discovered a lot of things about yourself, thanks to your five daddies, and with Andy the biggest realization you've come to is that you crave having a big, strong, kind and bossy man in control of you. In fact you thrive on it. After so many years of hustling and being "that boss bitch," you're tired of the grind and of having to constantly look out for yourself because no one else will. Andy is a relief to you, in that way.
You call him Daddy a lot, and sometimes "Mr. Barber," when you're being saucy or playful (and it's an instant boner from him when you do).
Andy's favored pet names for you are "babygirl," "sweetheart," and "little one/little miss."
He thrives on making you feel safe and cared for. He loves that protector and provider role. Whenever something upsets you with one of the other guys, he can always tell (and he'll spank, tickle, or edge you until he finally gets the answers out of you.)
Andy and you have a game you play. You'll snuggle together on the couch and you'll both let your hands roam as you watch the movie, teasing and touching and rubbing each other until the end credits roll. It's it's own weird little sort of tantra: playful, teasing, and guaranteed to have you dripping wet by the end of the movie.
Like Ari, Andy is a big fan of morning sex. He almost always wakes up hard, and he loves to just roll you over and press you down into the bedding, plastered to your back with the lube bottle in hand and coaxing you to just close your eyes and "Let Daddy put it in."
Of all your guys, Andy spends the most time at your apartment. He has a desk there because he works so much, and you have a semi-regular routine of sitting beneath his desk and cockwarming/playing with him. It's a favorite activity of yours (especially during his teleconferences).
Andy loves your womanly body, and he's always grabbing and groping you--even parts that you get squirmy and whiny about when he does (he doesn't care he does it anyway).
He loves to see you in lacy, girlish, innocent things--again, not so much an ageplay thing as it is a sweetness and power imbalance thing. Andy's wife refuses to dress up in "silly things" for him, but you are more than happy to accommodate him.
Since the two of you spend so much time just being snuggly together in the apartment, you always either wear cute and tempting loungewear/pajamas, or else very short skirts/dresses with flirtatious thigh high stockings.
Andy was the first of the Daddies that you met. And he's very typical of the sort of "unhappily married and seeking affection"-type clients you used to get a lot of.
He was much more unhappy then and was more controlling and slightly rougher with you for those first few months, but he's mellowed out the longer he's had you and gotten his needs met.
Fun fact: when you first met him, you were considering getting a labiaplasty, but he absolutely put his foot down and forbid it, because he loves that you're "an outie" as he calls it. He told Ari this information, and now the two of them both make a habit of paying extensive attention to playing with your lips when they go down on you, making their point that you'd better never even think about it.
He likes having anal with you. But since you actively dislike it, he only asks for it on very special occasions, and when he can't have that he still likes to rim you and finger you as part of foreplay. When you do let him, he spends an obscene amount of time getting you ready and making sure you've cum at least once before he puts it in.
His favorite position is you on top to start (because he knows you cum fast that way), and him on top to finish.
And his one fantasy that he hasn't yet confided/fulfilled? He wants to have a threesome with you and Ari. (He'd really love to DP, but he knows that's not likely to happen, because you've told him about Ari's ... size.)
And a secondary fantasy: he wouldn't mind cucking Lloyd - he hates that guy.
If there's something you want to know about Sugar Baby and any of the five daddies, feel free to shoot me an ask!
Five Daddies Imagines Masterlist
Masterlist
#andy barber#andy barber x reader#andy barber x female reader#andy barber x you#andy barber x y/n#andy barber x ofc#defending jacob#chris evans#chris evans characters#lloyd hansen#steve kemp#bucky barnes#ari levinson#andy barber fanfiction#andy barber imagine#andy barber smut#fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic imagines#sugarbaby#sugardaddy#sugar baby reader#daddy andy barber#sex worker reader
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"I dream of you. all i do, is dream of you."
If I Can’t Have Everything, Then Let Me Just Have You
Andy Barber x Fem!Reader
Summary: When Andy gets jealous of you talking with his colleague, you reassure him he’s everything you’ll ever need.
Warnings: age gap and although exact ages are never mentioned everyone is well and truly of age, jealous Andy
Word count: 700
A/N: this is for @nickfowlerrr’s the seven writing challenge - I spun the wheel for the seven deadly sins and got envy. A big thank you my darling friend @flordeamatista, queen of Andy fics, for not only providing the inspiration for this fic, but helping me with writing Andy for the first time and being my constant cheerleader 🩷 banners by @vase-of-lilies
Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Library
Andy hated attending after work functions with his colleagues. He could barely stand dealing with them during the working week, but then to also be forced to give up his Saturday night so his boss could show off the house his old family money had bought him was another level of torture.
You were his saving grace. Part of him felt guilty for dragging the woman he loved along to these grandstanding cocktail parties where you were forced to make small talk with people you didn’t enjoy the company of, but you were also the only person who stopped him from going completely insane.
But at this moment, while he was stuck hearing about how his boss’s fantasy football team was performing, as if he didn’t hear enough about it at the office, Andy saw red as he was subjected to watch Dylan, the office womaniser, chatting you up.
In the back of his mind he knew with absolute certainty that you wouldn’t cheat on him, but the reason his heart clenched and acidic jealousy bubbled in his stomach was because of what Dylan represented: everything Andy couldn’t offer you.
He wasn’t young anymore, he was well aware the prime of his life was past him at this point in time. He had settled into a comfortable routine which didn’t involve a thriving social life which he remembered having with Laurie when they were your age. He was surely not as flexible or had as much energy as a young man fifteen years his junior.
He wanted to be able to give you the world, but all he had to offer was the trauma developed from his tarnished past, which was still following him around like a shadow, his back problems, wonky knee and the remainder of his life which would be distinctly shorter than Dylan, or someone of his age, could promise to spend with you.
The root of his envy was insecurity.
And he was green with envy.
Excusing himself from the one-sided conversation his boss was having, Andy set off with purpose, making a beeline to you, only to find you were already making your way over to him. Relief eased the tension in his shoulders as your gaze found his and a smile tugged at the corners of your mouth.
“Your colleague, the guy behind me, is a creep.” You commented, hooking your fingers through his belt loops and pulling him protectively into you. Andy leaned down and placed a small, sweet kiss to your forehead, not needing to look behind you to know exactly who you were referring to. A sense of satisfaction filled his chest with the notion that you were clearly averse to Dylan’s pursuits.
“That’s not what most young women around the office think.”
“Well he is.” You stated firmly, a look of disgust flashing over your features. “Why does it take me telling him I have a boyfriend to respect that I’m not interested. Why would I want a boy like him, when I already have a man like you?”
Andy smiled, coming to the realisation that he had no reason to be jealous. Perhaps he couldn’t offer you his callow youth, but he did have maturity and experience, which would surely be much more valuable in a devoted relationship.
“You are a dream come true, you know that?” In response to this you scrunched your nose and smiled in a way that made Andy’s heart fill with pure adoration and devotion.
You truly were all he would ever need for the remainder of his life.
“You’re my dream come true too, Andy.” Standing on your tiptoes, arms sling around his neck, you placed a delicate kiss against his lips, neither of you paying any mind to his colleagues who could be watching on. “You’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of.”
Taking a beat to commit the moment to memory, Andy made a promise to himself that he would never take his second chance at love for granted.
“Let’s go home, handsome.” You suggested, tugging gently on his tie with that mischievous grin which always promised a sinfully pleasurable time. “I have plans for us that definitely don’t involve the rest of you colleagues.”
#em writes#em answers#Alice 🌸#andy barber#andy barber x reader#andy barber x you#andy barber x y/n#andy barber drabble#andy barber one shot#andy barber imagine#andy barber fluff#andy barber fanfic#andy barber fanfiction#chris evans#chris evans characters#chris evans x reader#chris evans x you#chris evans x y/n#defending jacob
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Trapped AU Masterlist
Summary: Andy keeps telling you how lucky you are that he chose you to be his wife.
Warnings: Dark elements, kidnapping, human trafficking, punishment - See each installment for specific warnings - All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI
Caught Up in Your Trap
You spend your first day in your new home.
Beyond These Walls In Front of Me
Andy brings you into a new part of your home.
I Don't Want a Lot for Christmas
Andy gives you an early Christmas present. Why aren't you happier about it?
Related Drabbles
Comfort
Continuing AU
#dark andy barber#andy barber x reader#andy barber x female reader#andy barber x you#andy barber#defending jacob#dark fic#series masterlist#dark series#kris wrote something#chris evans fanfiction#ce characters
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summary. | Your dad’s best friend doesn’t like your attitude.
prompts. | Andy Barber + Dad’s best friend + “I just want to take care of you.” + Daddy kink, requested by Anonymous.
pairing. | dark!dad’s best friend!Andy Barber x fem!reader.
warnings. | NON/DUBCON, age gap, delusion, Daddy kink, bratty/rude reader (inwardly, mostly), manhandling, andy holds the reader down, allusions to spanking, and more. 18+ MINORS DNI!
author’s note. | this is a part of my Dark Concepts (2023) request form. thank you for taking part in this event! please enjoy and don’t forget to reblog. MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY! taglist: @hansensfics
A familiar voice calls your name, and you wonder what he could possibly want this time around. It’s Andy, your father’s best friend.
You sigh as you get up from your bed, an oversized sweater falling down to cover your upper thighs. You make your way downstairs and spot the older man at the bottom of the steps, blocking your way. He smiles when he sees you, and you forcibly return it.
Hatred isn’t the word you’d use to describe how you feel about Andy. Discomfort is far more accurate. You’re baffled at how he’s managed to insert himself into your life, even when your father isn’t present. He has a key and always seems to drop by over every little thing. Sometimes, his reasonings are genuinely absurd.
You suspect it’s the loneliness of the divorce and subsequent moving away that did it. You feel bad for Andy at times, but the dark looks he gives you make those feelings dissipate, replacing them with both fear and arousal.
“You busy?” he asks, a slight smirk on his face. It reads as a midlife crisis, or perhaps you’re just being too harsh. You prefer being on your lonesome, anyway. “Uh, no, not really. Why?” you ask, stopping at the last step. He’s wearing a green button-up, and his hair is slightly tousled.
When you watch him more intently, you notice his eyes are blown out. Lust or happiness? The former seems more likely than the latter. Your thoughts make you shiver, and he furrows his brows.
“Cold?” he jokes, but you simply hum. “I can’t see why,” Andy husks, smiling up at you. He refers to your outfit, which you realize isn’t the most appropriate thing to wear in front of him.
“I was just wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me,” he tells you, and you nod your head. If you say no, he’ll surely tell your father somehow, and you can’t afford your allowance getting cut. Not until you find a decent-paying job, anyway.
“Oh, uh, what movie did you have in mind?” you ask him, leaning on the railing. “I’m fine with anything, really,” he admits, shrugging as he stands up straight.
“Alright, I’ll be back in a few. Maybe you can make some popcorn, get some candy?” you offer, turning just a bit so you can head back to your room.
“Where are you going?” Andy asks, crossing his arms. He’s got a serious look on his face, one you’ve never really seen before. “To my room, so I can change,” you say, a bit confused. There’s an awkward laugh laced in your words, but nothing appears to amuse the ex-lawyer.
“Why would you do that?” he questions, and you furrow your brows. “I don’t have any pants on, and, like you said, it’s a bit cold. I’ll be quick,” you promise. Although you swear you have complete control over your body, you don’t move. It’s like you’re waiting for his approval.
“I think your outfit is perfect, actually. Come on,” your father’s friend urges, and you scoff. “I won’t take long, Andy, I swear,” you continue, knowing the man has a bit of a temper.
“I doubt you won’t, but I don’t see why you need to change. It’s perfect for what I wanna do to you,” Andy growls, grabbing your hand. You yelp as he drags you to the couch with ease, throwing you onto the cushions. His words make your stomach drop.
You barely have any time to run off. The older man is on you quickly, holding you down to the seat. Your sweater has now risen up, giving him a perfect view of your panty-clad ass.
“C’mon, Daddy hates it when you’re being a brat. I know you can be good,” Andy grunts, straddling your thighs. “Get off of me!” you demand through gritted teeth, but your attempt is futile.
“Shh, shh. It’s okay. Daddy’s got you. I just want to take care of you,” he whispers, left hand keeping your upper body pressed into the sofa. “But I can’t do that if you’re a bad girl, right?” Andy continues.
You feel his large, rough hand pull down your underwear, your soft flesh rippling from his harsh movements. “That’s fine. Daddy will just have to spank the attitude out of his little girl.”
#sabs concepts#andy barber x reader#andy barber#defending jacob#andy barber x you#dark andy barber#andy barber x female reader#andy barber fanfiction#andy barber x y/n#dark!andy barber#dark!andy barber x reader#dark!#chris evans#drabble#request#sab’s dark concepts (2023)
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