#Deep sleep rain

[success-seeker]

Heavy Rain Sounds by the Lake | Relax and Sleep

Listen to the rhythmic patter of raindrops on the water's surface, accompanied by the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze. Whether you're looking to relax, meditate, or drift off to sleep, the serene ambiance of this lakeside rain will help you find peace and tranquility.

[relaxationmusicc]

Restful sleep • Anxiety healing, Stress relief and Emotional balance • Soothing night music

[alyimoss]

anyone else inexplicably fucked up by the very existence of "its raining somewhere else" as a track?

[foundationsofdecay]

Alright, we're still talking about DYWTYLM, right? 'Cause I'm gonna talk about it a bit too

Much like how Gods and Vore are intrinsically connected, DYWTYLM and Fall For Me have a similar type of relationship, but there are actually so, so many more ways that this song ties into the rest of the discography than just the one, and I think this song should be given more of a spotlight in general.

Still looking first at the most obvious connecting thread, DYWTYLM shares several lyrical and compositional elements with Fall For Me. Looking purely at lyrics here, to put it simply, both songs are about unrequited love. Past that level, however, these songs are completely different. Fall For Me has this painful desperation to it, like there's an open wound in our heart in the shape of this person and it will just continue to bleed and fester until we can even just see the person again, "oh god I wish you were here," because we're falling apart and losing ourselves without them and "I am yours in the end" so wouldn't it just be so perfect, so easy, to fix our fractured existence if you would only just fall from reality and join me here, to protect me from my insecurities and my past? It's about wanting to be loved but also wanting someone to meet you where you're at even as it means falling deeper themselves to do so.

DYWTYLM, though, takes a very different tone. This is despondent, almost defeated in tone. I know you don't love me, but do you wish that you did? I'm still losing myself, "it's getting harder to be myself," and "my reflection just won't smile back at me like I know it should." There's a great deal of self-reflection on the loss of identity and general unmooring that's been caused by this person you've tied so much of yourself to drifting away. It's unclear whether or not this small, repeated "please smile back at me" is at them or at yourself. Back in Fall For Me we heard about how "I'm losing touch with what I am again," and this seems to have only grown stronger. This is despite what we see in High Water, where "I will accept that I can't pretend we will ever be together." Acceptance, clearly, does not mean that the pain disappears, or that you feel any less awful about it, or that you don't continue to question the circumstances.

It sounds something like this: I don't know why you don't love me, and I still wish you did, even though I know you don't. Could you at least tell me if it's personal, or "is it always the same" with you? The idea that's "eating me alive" is the idea that you feel no guilt for stringing me along like this, that "you don't conceal your feelings, they just don't exist." Can you at least tell me if you understand what I'm going through, if "there's something you give that you will never receive in return" like the way I will never receive your love?

That's a lot to unpack, but let's give it a go.

The opening lines to DYWTYLM, asking if you ever "roll with the waves" or if you always "duck into deep blue safety," are an evocative image representing a retreat into the safety of isolation and repression when offered someone's love. They are also a continuation of some of the ideas presented in The Love You Want from back in TPWBYT. Back then, just before Fall For Me, we have this metaphor of keys, noting that "it seems your heart is locked up and I still get the combination wrong," and wondering if "you're simply waiting to save your love for someone I am not." It's this question, again, of whether or not there's something about you that just isn't right for them, or if there's a blanket refusal, swallowing each presented key despite the possible ramifications down the line of always pushing others away and refusing that kind of connection.

There's one other piece in this verse, that "maybe you believe that in the end you will be better off that way," tying us back into DYWTYLM and the question of not just if that person always like this but if there's any kind of drive behind this avoidance - fear, anger, disgust, anything emotional at all - or if there's nothing there, which then ties us into the question of "can you ever forgive yourself," because of this underlying dread of the possibility that "you don't conceal your feelings, they just don't exist." What if you're not "[pulling] at the chains" of my love but instead "[pushing] into constant aching," the ache here being the absolute agony of unrequited love that we described in Fall For Me?

This is where the instability and sense of completely falling apart come into play. Picking the key metaphor back up, note how many different times we seem to have tried to unlock this person's heart. What does that really mean? Are we approaching with different types of love, or are we trying to change ourselves to suit what we think their taste might be, even though it never works? There's this deep-rooted insecurity, this question of if there's a chance we could possibly get this right if we were someone else. Certainly, constantly changing how you're acting around or approaching someone over and over again has to be not just exhausting but a major hit to your sense of self.

Over and over and over again we've given away and taken pieces from our self, adding in pieces of them that may look better or trying on different attitudes like they're outfits, so of course you're falling apart. You're a Frankenstein's monster of cobbled together pieces of yourself and someone else and something you can't even recall, you've made this one person the thread holding it together and now you're not just falling apart but losing all sense and recognition of who you even are, because you stopped living for yourself a long time ago.

In any normal relationship, this continued rejection wouldn't seem that big of a deal, the kind of thing where you really should just take the hint and move on, but we know this isn't the case. As such, let's go back to Give for a moment. Frankly, it's obsessive. I'm here, I'm not just interested but I want to "give you all that I can give," and in a bit that's echoed later on in Fall For Me, "if you wanna give me anything then give, give in again." We're constantly rejected yet fed enough breadcrumbs to still stay, given a hollow shell of love with no real substance to it. Aqua Regia describes it well when calling it "cold love, hot blood," and that's a huge part of why it hurts so much, especially considering the times when it really did feel like this might be an equal and loving relationship instead of this constant erratic and destructive attachment pattern.

That's why this is a constant aching that we think may be being pushed into deliberately instead of us just being a weight dragging them down that they're trying to pull away from in the way we feared in High Water, and that's why it's so painful to even imagine that this attempt to actually undo the locks and be shown that open and vulnerable heart was futile from the beginning, because there was nothing there that they could give, nothing real that you could ever receive in return. We felt so deeply jealous that they could "sever [their] connection with everything" in Missing Limbs, and in DYWTYLM despite the established horror at the concept of that indifference we also wonder if it's "better to just not feel? Could we hit delete?"

So, no, at this point we are asking for an acknowledgement at best, not to be loved, and these questions we're asking are more rhetorical than anything. Perhaps we've given up on even hearing an answer, at this point, but we have to ask anyways. They won't smile at me but I can't smile at myself either. I don't know who I am, but I hate whoever that is, and I want to be someone else, even though I don't know if that's possible. Anything, anything but this. I don't feel like a person, I don't sound like a person. Am I not fit for anybody, like this? Could I turn into a different person, start over as someone new? Could I hit delete on my emotions? Could I hit delete on myself? Would I be better off that way?

[bloodbathfortwo]

Alex and Nigel on a random Friday night. Dinner done, dishes cleaned, kids put to sleep, and it's just them in their own bedroom. Nigel has missed his Jack and he can't help but cling all over him. What do we think, chat? 🎤

[naturerainambience]

Perfect Soothing Sounds of Rain for Sleeping and Relax💤😴

[amelia1542]

The dreamy piano sounds for stress-free nights & restful sleep

[kaurwreck]

I just bought three separate vacuums, we're about to go scorched earth policy on these second-generation fleas who I should have killed in gestation when I murdered their parents with Trojan cats slathered in neurotoxins.

[snipstheskeleton]

me (on a call) (for the hundredth time): if you’re going to sleep you should do that or i’ll just ramble about something else

my partner: alright, i’ll go, but you better get some sleep too, if you don’t i’ll kill off this npc

me: damn alright

[tenth-sentence]

The rain fell steadily all that evening and all the night, dashing against the windows of the castle, and Jill never heard it but slept deeply, past supper time and past midnight.

"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair" - C. S. Lewis

[bright-and-burning]

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[relaxationmusicc]

A Quiet Place 🌊 Chill Music for Stress Relief [ Work - Relax - Study ]

[success-seeker]

Listen to the rhythmic patter of raindrops as they nourish the earth and nurture the growth of young saplings. Whether you're winding down after a busy day or seeking a moment of serenity, let the calming ambiance of this rainy scene wash away your stress and tension.

[oasislifemusic]

Soothing Ambient Music with Ethereal Sounds

[jimothantheclown]

there is an aching in my chest and tears in my eyes

i want to love I want to love and be loved

i want to be held and hold and know and be known

maybe that's what love is to me

it hurts how much I want to love with you

"you" in a whoever kind of way. I don't know who