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yes-these-obsessions-are-healthy · 2 years ago

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How I would’ve structured DA:I’s story (spoiler: Rewrite nearly all of it)

The more I think on it, the more that I realize that DA:I is the least of the three Dragon Age games to date. Weakest integration of your choice of PC, weakesssssst combat by far holy shit. Only thing it has going for it is graphics and, depending on how you feel, companions. But the biggest sin is that the story is WEAK AF.

Here is how I would have restructured DA:I’s story:

The Main Conflict

Mages vs. Templars. As it SHOULD’VE BEEN. And none of this “Oh it’s an evil Tevinter mage trying to invade the South and open up the Fade with this elf orb he found”. Throw that out.

And with this, it would be allowed for your PC to actually interact and be commented on by the world they’re thrust in, I think, because you can choose whether to come from a mage background or a non-mage background, and your race will also play a part in how you approach the issue of magic regulation and mages. It would also invite the writers to consider the intersection of race and magic status. A Dalish mage vs. a City Elf mage vs. a Human Commoner mage vs. a Human noble mage vs. a Qunari et al. The different cultural perceptions of magic, how Dalish elves would view this rebellion, how humans would, how Qunari, how even Dwarves would see this, should and would be explored or allowed to be expressed by the PC and other NPCs, and especially more so by the Inner Circle. Whether you’re a mage or a non-mage could give you brownie points for whatever group you’re trying to woo to your side to defeat the...

The Actual Villain(s)

What would’ve been more compelling was if they had sold the Well-Intentioned Extremists angle again, and do it right this time, by making the first set of villains (yes, the first set) a loose organization of apostate mages that snuck into the Conclave and wanted to unlock the power of the Orb that they’d come into possession of because they were fed the information that it was some godly weapon. Why at the Conclave? Because they didn’t believe in compromising or bargaining with the Enemy, and even more, they believed that any mages that were trying to parley with the Templars were selling out the future of mages. You could even throw in some zaniness like the de-facto leader of this organization holding the belief that mages are superior to non-mages, that they’re a type of being that should be worshipped instead of hated, that they should rule over society instead of non-mages. The main theme would be “Hurt people will hurt people. Pain and anger drive a cause, but too much will poison it and hurt those who you’re trying to help the most.”

You could introduce the invasion of the Tevinter mages within this kerfuffle, too, something like America funding “freedom fighters” in foreign countries, sending some troops to oversee the training of these more radical apostates, levying them supplies and support, etc. What Tevinter would get out of it is a destabilized South, for one. The mages could promise Tevinter that once the mages got to rule Orlais and Fereldan, they’d give Tevinter some great political and economic concessions. Mage class solidarity.

The SECOND set of villains would be a group of Templars that would take advantage of this terrorist attack and the onslaught of atrocities committed by this extremist group of mages as reason to employ equally extreme measures by demanding that mages be exterminated wholesale or put under even stricter control than even how the Qun deals with them. “Mages are savage creatures, not even people.” The hope is that by incensing the common people with enough hate toward mages, these Templars could then be granted enough leeway and public support to just *incidentally* commit genocide in broad daylight against mages. It would be a whole slew of Merediths trying to shout down the well-meaning templars that do exist in the organization, or the ones that have sympathies for how the mages are treated but don’t have the power to override the authority of their commanders or the chantry. The main theme would be “In a corrupt organization, the ‘good ones’ will eventually be corrupted or silenced”.

Ultimately you will have to fight both, because both cannot be reasoned with, but you will be given time to gather up forces and resources and allies depending on how you’re doing the politics and the quests. That’s right, we’re doing Fallout: New Vegas factions, baby.

So you have two extremes, and two potential allies that might be willing to betray their extremist counterparts if you play your cards right. It’s still Mages vs. Templars, but it’ll be more nuanced depending on how well you gain the trust from the Mages and Templars. You can also choose to be an utter bastard and neutralize the party you do not favor because if you do not get in their good graces, they WILL join their Extremist variant in the final bout and you will be forced to exterminate them (similar to how if you don’t have a good relationship with say, Fenris, and you decide to defend the mages, he’ll stand against you). So the options would look like this:

Inquisition + Moderate Mages vs Extremist Mages || Extremist Templars + Moderate Templars

Inquisition + Moderate Mages vs Extremist Mages || Extremist Templars (Moderate Templars Neutralized)

Inquisition + Moderate Templars vs. Extremist Mages + Moderate Mages || Extremist Templars.

Inquisition + Moderate Templars vs. Extremist Mages (Moderate Mages Neutralized) || Extremist Templars.

Inquisition + Moderate Mages + Moderate Templars vs. Extremist Mages + Extremist Templars

You Can Keep the Veil Tearing Being an Issue

Amidst all of this, the tearing of the Veil is obviously a problem you’ll need to solve, as it is threatening to unravel the world. Both the extremist mages and the extremist templars want your power for different reasons.

As for Solas. Well, he really, really didn’t plan that giving the extremist mages the Orb “accidentally on purpose” would kick off a bloody and violent civil war, and the chaos and suffering he witnesses would be justification enough for him to wipe the slate clean and destroy the present world to resurrect a new one where none of this bullshit is even a *thing*.

So yeah, the basics of the Orb and the Veil would be intact, but the antagonists and how the story plays out would be much more focused on the story that people actually WANT to see, which is the Mages v. Templars.

Personal Preferences: Dalish Gods = Still Just People

This is a personal preference because I am in fact 150% unspiritual and believe all religions without question are made up and have no bearing on reality (I respect your faith, unless you’re a Scientologist or a freak that thinks it’s ok to, idk, shun people, but I think that faith and religion provide archaic explanations for phenomena and unnecessary rules for human behavior) , but I would retain the “Dalish gods are actually strong mages” because it IS conducive to Solas’s point that time distorts memory and history, and that this phenomenon, while inevitable, is poisonous to Truth. But on the flipside...Heritage is history with its heart still beating. You can sitll make your argument that it doesn’t matter that the Evanuris were just mages, you as a Dalish in the present day worship a form of them that cannot hurt anyone. It isn’t difficult to shift perspective and view the “gods” as metaphors and personifications for certain values and attributes. Religions and practices can change and adjust without fundamentally changing the culture. The Maker is also fake and doesn’t exist, so no one is getting any special treatment in the religion department.

Again, I don’t want to come off as a neoliberal atheist or whatever, but I find Solas’s running motif of pointing out how history is just a story with different perspectives that change and transforms over time the farther away one gets from the primary time period to be far more fascinating than “Oh, gods exist”. I’m trained in history and the way that information is filtered and sieved throughout the ages into something near incomprehensible isn’t often explored in video games at all.

Extra Thoughts

My suggestions might provide a sounder story to allow for your PC to actually interact and be commented on by the world they’re thrust in, I think, because you can choose whether to come from a mage background or a non-mage background, and your race will also play a part in how you approach the issue of magic regulation and mages. It would also invite the writers to consider the intersection of race and magic status. A Dalish mage vs. a City Elf mage vs. a Human Commoner mage vs. a Human noble mage vs. a Qunari et al. The different cultural perceptions of magic, how Dalish elves would view this rebellion, how humans would, how Qunari, how even Dwarves would see this, should and would be explored or allowed to be expressed by the PC and other NPCs, and especially more so by the Inner Circle. Whether you’re a mage or a non-mage could give you brownie points for whatever group you’re trying to woo to your side to defeat the two extremes. It’s still Mages vs. Templars, but it’ll be more nuanced, I think. At least.

People like to bring up how Dragon Age borrows heavily from different ideas and cultures and conflicts, so here, this story borrows from pretty much every modern militant civil conflict. Though none of the conflicts have ever had magic be the cause for persecution..

As for the Templars...they need to be given something to justify their existence and position. You could probably wedge Cassandra into the formula. She does work for the Chantry in a non-Templar capacity so she isn’t a Templar herself, but her level-headedness, unbreakable ethics, strong sense of duty, and her integrity could be used somehow to root out the corruption and abuse within the Templar organization, to reform it and inaugurate greater checks on their power and the personalities that become members. Vivienne could help with this as well, since she knows what a good life in a mage circle is like.

So you would have two different camps that offer two hopefully different offers. You can side with the Templars and believe that with time and effort and a whole lot of nose to the grindstone, you can reconstruct the system into a better one for everyone involved. Or you can abolish the system and rely only on mages to be self-sufficient in keeping their magic and their proteges in check.

It wouldn’t be a “Oh the writers don’t want to push for actual change so they’ll make the victims do a Bad Thing so that you’ll lose sympathy for them”. If they wrote it well, you would still feel sympathy for these mages and their cause. but not their approach. Not such a hole-filled and self-sabotaging approach, that is. People are complex, and anger and fear will drive people over the edge. People fighting for their lives will commit atrocities and things considered egregious offenses in so-called “peace time”. Paying evil unto evil and all that. That would be what the story is about, the tesselations and stacking of grievances and continuous reactions to antagonism, leading to this mess that can’t be unwound so easily.

#fandom #DA:I #these are my preferences and opinions #i don't care to argue about if my ideas are stupid or bad b/c i literally don't care about what YOU want #don't say I'm a loser for shilling for the evanuris = people

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amunvulcan · 4 years ago

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Fortuna (Latin: Fortūna, equivalent to the Greek goddess Tyche) is the goddess of fortune and the personification of luck in Roman religion who, largely thanks to the Late Antique author Boethius, remained popular through the Middle Ages until at least the Renaissance. The blindfolded depiction of her is still an important figure in many aspects of today's Italian culture, where the dichotomy fortuna / sfortuna (luck / unluck) plays a prominent role in everyday social life, also represented by the very common refrain "La [dea] fortuna è cieca" (latin Fortuna caeca est; "Luck [goddess] is blind").

Fortuna is often depicted with a gubernaculum (ship's rudder), a ball or Rota Fortunae (wheel of fortune, first mentioned by Cicero) and a cornucopia (horn of plenty). She might bring good or bad luck: she could be represented as veiled and blind, as in modern depictions of Lady Justice, except that Fortuna does not hold a balance. Fortuna came to represent life's capriciousness. She was also a goddess of fate: as Atrox Fortuna, she claimed the young lives of the princeps Augustus' grandsons Gaius and Lucius, prospective heirs to the Empire.[1] (In antiquity she was also known as Automatia.)[2]

Fortuna's father was said to be Jupiter and like him, she could also be bountiful (Copia). As Annonaria she protected grain supplies. June 11 was consecrated to her: on June 24 she was given cult at the festival of Fors Fortuna.[4][5] Fortuna's name seems to derive from Vortumna (she who revolves the year).[citation needed]

Roman writers disagreed whether her cult was introduced to Rome by Servius Tullius[6] or Ancus Marcius.[7] The two earliest temples mentioned in Roman Calendars were outside the city, on the right bank of the Tiber (in Italian Trastevere). The first temple dedicated to Fortuna was attributed to the Etruscan Servius Tullius, while the second is known to have been built in 293 BC as the fulfilment of a Roman promise made during later Etruscan wars.[8] The date of dedication of her temples was 24 June, or Midsummer's Day, when celebrants from Rome annually floated to the temples downstream from the city. After undisclosed rituals they then rowed back, garlanded and inebriated.[9] Also Fortuna had a temple at the Forum Boarium. Here Fortuna was twinned with the cult of Mater Matuta (the goddesses shared a festival on 11 June), and the paired temples have been revealed in the excavation beside the church of Sant'Omobono: the cults are indeed archaic in date.[10] Fortuna Primigenia of Praeneste was adopted by Romans at the end of 3rd century BC in an important cult of Fortuna Publica Populi Romani (the Official Good Luck of the Roman People) on the Quirinalis outside the Porta Collina.[11] No temple at Rome, however, rivalled the magnificence of the Praenestine sanctuary.

Fortuna's identity as personification of chance events was closely tied to virtus (strength of character). Public officials who lacked virtues invited ill-fortune on themselves and Rome: Sallust uses the infamous Catiline as illustration – "Truly, when in the place of work, idleness, in place of the spirit of measure and equity, caprice and pride invade, fortune is changed just as with morality".[12]

An oracle at the Temple of Fortuna Primigena in Praeneste used a form of divination in which a small boy picked out one of various futures that were written on oak rods. Cults to Fortuna in her many forms are attested throughout the Roman world. Dedications have been found to Fortuna Dubia (doubtful fortune), Fortuna Brevis (fickle or wayward fortune) and Fortuna Mala (bad fortune).

Fortuna is found in a variety of domestic and personal contexts. During the early Empire, an amulet from the House of Menander in Pompeii links her to the Egyptian goddess Isis, as Isis-Fortuna.[13] She is functionally related to the god Bonus Eventus,[14] who is often represented as her counterpart: both appear on amulets and intaglio engraved gems across the Roman world. In the context of the early republican period account of Coriolanus, in around 488 BC the Roman senate dedicated a temple to Fortuna on account of the services of the matrons of Rome in saving the city from destruction.[15] Evidence of Fortuna worship has been found as far north as Castlecary, Scotland[16] and an altar and statue can now be viewed at the Hunterian Museum in Glasgow.[17]

The earliest reference to the Wheel of Fortune, emblematic of the endless changes in life between prosperity and disaster, is from 55 BC.[18] In Seneca's tragedy Agamemnon, a chorus addresses Fortuna in terms that would remain almost proverbial, and in a high heroic ranting mode that Renaissance writers would emulate:

O Fortune, who dost bestow the throne's high boon with mocking hand, in dangerous and doubtful state thou settest the too exalted. Never have sceptres obtained calm peace or certain tenure; care on care weighs them down, and ever do fresh storms vex their souls. ... great kingdoms sink of their own weight, and Fortune gives way ‘neath the burden of herself. Sails swollen with favouring breezes fear blasts too strongly theirs; the tower which rears its head to the very clouds is beaten by rainy Auster. ... Whatever Fortune has raised on high, she lifts but to bring low. Modest estate has longer life; then happy he whoe’er, content with the common lot, with safe breeze hugs the shore, and, fearing to trust his skiff to the wider sea, with unambitious oar keeps close to land.[19]

Ovid's description is typical of Roman representations: in a letter from exile[20] he reflects ruefully on the “goddess who admits by her unsteady wheel her own fickleness; she always has its apex beneath her swaying foot.”

Fortuna did not disappear from the popular imagination with the ascendancy of Christianity.[21] Saint Augustine took a stand against her continuing presence, in the City of God: "How, therefore, is she good, who without discernment comes to both the good and to the bad?...It profits one nothing to worship her if she is truly fortune... let the bad worship her...this supposed deity".[22] In the 6th century, the Consolation of Philosophy, by statesman and philosopher Boethius, written while he faced execution, reflected the Christian theology of casus, that the apparently random and often ruinous turns of Fortune's Wheel are in fact both inevitable and providential, that even the most coincidental events are part of God's hidden plan which one should not resist or try to change. Fortuna, then, was a servant of God,[23] and events, individual decisions, the influence of the stars were all merely vehicles of Divine Will. In succeeding generations Boethius' Consolation was required reading for scholars and students. Fortune crept back into popular acceptance, with a new iconographic trait, "two-faced Fortune", Fortuna bifrons; such depictions continue into the 15th century.[24]

The ubiquitous image of the Wheel of Fortune found throughout the Middle Ages and beyond was a direct legacy of the second book of Boethius's Consolation. The Wheel appears in many renditions from tiny miniatures in manuscripts to huge stained glass windows in cathedrals, such as at Amiens. Lady Fortune is usually represented as larger than life to underscore her importance. The wheel characteristically has four shelves, or stages of life, with four human figures, usually labeled on the left regnabo (I shall reign), on the top regno (I reign) and is usually crowned, descending on the right regnavi (I have reigned) and the lowly figure on the bottom is marked sum sine regno (I have no kingdom). Medieval representations of Fortune emphasize her duality and instability, such as two faces side by side like Janus; one face smiling the other frowning; half the face white the other black; she may be blindfolded but without scales, blind to justice. She was associated with the cornucopia, ship's rudder, the ball and the wheel. The cornucopia is where plenty flows from, the Helmsman's rudder steers fate, the globe symbolizes chance (who gets good or bad luck), and the wheel symbolizes that luck, good or bad, never lasts.

Fortuna lightly balances the

orb

of sovereignty between thumb and finger in a Dutch painting of

1530 (

Musée des Beaux-Arts de Strasbourg

)

Fortune would have many influences in cultural works throughout the Middle Ages. In Le Roman de la Rose, Fortune frustrates the hopes of a lover who has been helped by a personified character "Reason". In Dante's Inferno (vii.67-96), Virgil explains the nature of Fortune, both a devil and a ministering angel, subservient to God. Boccaccio's De Casibus Virorum Illustrium ("The Fortunes of Famous Men"), used by John Lydgate to compose his Fall of Princes, tells of many where the turn of Fortune's wheel brought those most high to disaster, and Boccaccio essay De remedii dell'una e dell'altra Fortuna, depends upon Boethius for the double nature of Fortuna. Fortune makes her appearance in Carmina Burana (see image). The Christianized Lady Fortune is not autonomous: illustrations for Boccaccio's Remedii show Fortuna enthroned in a triumphal car with reins that lead to heaven.[25]

Fortuna also appears in chapter 25 of Machiavelli's The Prince, in which he says Fortune only rules one half of men's fate, the other half being of their own will. Machiavelli reminds the reader that Fortune is a woman, that she favours a strong, ambitious hand, and that she favours the more aggressive and bold young man than a timid elder. Monteverdi's opera L'incoronazione di Poppea features Fortuna, contrasted with the goddess Virtue. Even Shakespeare was no stranger to Lady Fortune:

When in disgrace with Fortune and men's eyes I all alone beweep my outcast state...

Ignatius J Reilly, the protagonist in the famous John Kennedy Toole novel A Confederacy of Dunces, identifies Fortuna as the agent of change in his life. A verbose, preposterous medievalist, Ignatius is of the mindset that he does not belong in the world and that his numerous failings are the work of some higher power. He continually refers to Fortuna as having spun him downwards on her wheel of luck, as in “Oh, Fortuna, you degenerate wanton!”

In astrology the term Pars Fortuna represents a mathematical point in the zodiac derived by the longitudinal positions of the Sun, Moon and Ascendant (Rising sign) in the birth chart of an individual. It represents an especially beneficial point in the horoscopic chart. In Arabic astrology, this and similar points are called Arabian Parts.

Al-Biruni (973 – 1048), an 11th-century mathematician, astronomer, and scholar, who was the greatest proponent of this system of prediction, listed a total of 97 Arabic Parts, which were widely used for astrological consultations.

Aspects[edit]

Lady Fortune in a

Boccaccio

manuscript

Sculpture of Fortuna,

Vienna

La Fortune

Charles Samuel

(1894), Collection

King Baudouin Foundation

Fortuna Annonaria brought the luck of the harvest

Fortuna Belli the fortune of war

Fortuna Primigenia directed the fortune of a firstborn child at the moment of birth

Fortuna Virilis ("Luck in men"), a woman's luck in marriage[26]

Fortuna Redux brought one safely home

Fortuna Respiciens the fortune of the provider

Fortuna Muliebris the luck of a woman.

Fortuna Victrix brought victory in battle

Fortuna Augusta the fortune of the emperor[27]

Fortuna Balnearis the fortune of the baths.[27]

Fortuna Conservatrix the fortune of the Preserver[28]

Fortuna Equestris fortune of the Knights.[28]

Fortuna Huiusce Diei fortune of the present day.[28]

Fortuna Obsequens fortune of indulgence.[28]

Fortuna Privata fortune of the private individual.[28]

Fortuna Publica fortune of the people.[28]

Fortuna Romana fortune of Rome.[28]

Fortuna Virgo fortune of the virgin.[28]

Fortuna Faitrix the fortune of life

Pars Fortuna

Fortuna Barbata the fortune of adolescents becoming adults[29]

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jjkoc-stuff · 3 years ago

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Ryu's Story

notes: in this AU! toji and jin are alive. please bare if you spot any grammar mistakes (English is not my first language) (also, I'm not a writer. This is my first time writing something long like this.)

TW: su!c!de mentioned

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I was brought into this world to bring bad luck that was what my mother referred me as. I just get along with what she said. "You're nothing but a cursed child! I don't even know why I listened to your aunt!" She was right, I'm just a useless sorcerer's daughter. Why was I even born, what was my purpose being on this earth? That was my thought through put my life until I met 'her', my dear friend. She gave me a reason to live, she was my everything until an accident happened. I lost her. I can't see her pink orbs, cherry blossom pink hair and her comforting smile that calms me down. I had nothing but my so called mother.

A year later, my so called mother shot herself. I was all alone. No mother, no father to be seen. During the funeral, a shady looking lady came up to me and asked "What are you going to do now since you have nothing on this world?". I replied "Nothing. Just thinking of burying myself in this damn soil." "Oh pity, you have more to do. Come with me." I followed her, who is she and what does she do for a living?Who knows if this woman is going to murder me. Like I care, she can just end my miserable life. But surprisingly she took care of me...? I lived in her house and treated me like a human being. Fed me food that she cooks for me, gave me clothes and even some money. Is this what having a mother feels like?

She explained to me who she was and what she does. Well, what a shocker, she was my damn old man's ex-lover. The bastard left her and married the bitch aka my birth mother. She told me everything that my aunt told her, they were friends back in highschool. My parents didn't even named me, my aunt did. She was the one who persuaded my mother to keep me. My father died of sickness after a few months I was born and my mother and my father's family blamed that on me for "bringing bad luck" to them. Bitch. My aunt told shady lady to take care of me and she did.

She told me what she does for a living, she handles a female assassination organization. That's pretty badass if I say so myself. She offered me to join the organization so I took my chance a nd accepted her offer. I did my trainings with her and self trained. I did a few missions. It was something new for me but hey, easy money.

While still being an assassin, she knows that I'm a sorcerer's daughter and can see curses and summons dragon curses, she took me to a school where sorcerers go,Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School. I met two annoying guys, white hair with sunglasses and a dark hair tied in a bun with.....bangs...(they probably fuck each other. They were so close. Too close) and there was also a short length brown hair girl who smokes a lot, I guess I got that nicotine addiction from her.

In 2006, I had so many missions to do so I told principal Yaga for my leave. I flew off to many countries to assassinate some rich bastards. A year later, I flew back to Japan, I was so busy with my missions and had no idea what happen in jujutsu tech but a first year, Nanami, told me what happened. Bat shit crazy things happened while I was away.

After graduating from Jujutsu Tech, I continued with my assassination works. I became the highest skilled female assassin by the time I turned 18. At the age of 19, that's when I wanted to end this killing work. But shady lady gave me one last mission, is to massacre the Yukio clan, my father's side of the family, who thinks that I was born as a demon because of my red eyes. They treated me poorly. I didn't hesitate and accepted this mission. I killed everyone in the Yukio mansion. Men, women and children. Aaaand that's a wrap for my assassination days. Farewell to assassin Ryu and shady lady. Thank you for caring me when I had nothing at all. I had a stable income because of the missions I did and got myself a house. Time to start a new chapter.

I wanted to try something new so I went to a culinary school. After a few months studying in this college, a classmate of mine dragged me into this job. She didn't even tell what the job is and her reason was I was suited for this job. Pathetic. Welp, I need to make an income. I can't just rely on my current income. So I went to the house that she sent me. I somehow met an old geezer. I need to take care of his 7 year old grandson while his father is on a long ass business trip??? A fucking babysitting job?? I'm not fond of children so I refuse his offer. He kept on nagging no matter how many times I rejected the damn job. Well I need an income anyway so I took the damn guardian job.

The geezer called a name and a 7 year old kid came in the room and the gramps said "This is Ryu, she will be your guardian for now." The pink hair boy looked at me bowed and introduced himself and head up back upstairs. Gramps went back at me and said "Listen here, I really need your help right now. I'm too old to do all this by myself. I'm not healthy like I used to be." I replied "How about his relatives? His mother?" "We haven't spoken with our relatives for so long and we lost their contacts. His mother....she is in a better place.." he spoke quietly when he mentioned about Yuji's mother. I understand but why me..? Ugh let's get this over with. Gramps later said to me "the contract is for 2 years. Until his father finished his business trip and Yuji will be staying with you for a week starting from two days from now." 2 YEARS? A KID LIVING WITH ME?? What has my life turned into......

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kenyatta · 5 years ago

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The semicolon was born in Venice in 1494. It was meant to signify a pause of a length somewhere between that of the comma and that of the colon, and this heritage was reflected in its form, which combines half of each of those marks. It was born into a time period of writerly experimentation and invention, a time when there were no punctuation rules, and readers created and discarded novel punctuation marks regularly. Texts (both handwritten and printed) record the testing-out and tinkering-with of punctuation by the fifteenth-century literati known as the Italian humanists. The humanists put a premium on eloquence and excellence in writing, and they called for the study and retranscription of Greek and Roman classical texts as a way to effect a “cultural rebirth” after the gloomy Middle Ages. In the service of these two goals, humanists published new writing and revised, repunctuated, and reprinted classical texts.

One of these humanists, Aldus Manutius, was the matchmaker who paired up comma and colon to create the semicolon. Manutius was a printer and publisher, and the first literary Latin text he issued was De Aetna, by his contemporary Pietro Bembo. De Aetna was an essay, written in dialogue form, about climbing volcanic Mount Etna in Italy. On its pages lay a new hybrid mark, specially cut for this text by the Bolognese type designer Francesco Griffo: the semicolon (and Griffo dreamed up a nice plump version) is sprinkled here and there throughout the text, conspiring with colons, commas, and parentheses to aid readers.

[...]

Nearly as soon as the ink was dry on those first semicolons, they began to proliferate, and newly cut font families began to include them as a matter of course. The Bembo typeface’s tall semicolon was the original that appeared in De Aetna, with its comma-half tensely coiled, tail thorn-sharp beneath the perfect orb thrown high above it. The semicolon in Poliphilus, relaxed and fuzzy, looks casual in comparison, like a Keith Haring character taking a break from buzzing. Garamond’s semicolon is watchful, aggressive, and elegant, its lower half a cobra’s head arced back to strike. Jenson’s is a simple shooting star. We moderns have accumulated a host of characterful semicolons to choose from: Palatino’s is a thin flapper in a big hat slouched against the wall at a party. Gill Sans MT’s semicolon has perfect posture, while Didot’s puffs its chest out pridefully. (For the postmodernist writer Donald Barthelme, none of these punch-cut disguises could ever conceal the semicolon’s innate hideousness: to him it was “ugly, ugly as a tick on a dog’s belly.”)

The semicolon had successfully colonized the letter cases of the best presses in Europe, but other newborn punctuation marks were not so lucky. The humanists tried out a lot of new punctuation ideas, but most of those marks had short life spans. Some of the printed texts that appeared in the centuries surrounding the semicolon’s birth look as though they are written partially in secret code: they are filled with mysterious dots, dashes, swoops, and curlicues. There were marks for the minutest distinctions and the most specific occasions. For instance, there was once a punctus percontativus, or rhetorical question mark, which was a mirror-image version of the question mark. Why did the semicolon survive and thrive when other marks did not? Probably because it was useful. Readers, writers, and printers found that the semicolon was worth the trouble to insert. The rhetorical question mark, on the other hand, faltered and then fizzled out completely. This isn’t too surprising: does anyone really need a special punctuation mark to know when a question is rhetorical?

#punctuation #semicolon #aldus manutius

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man-creates-dinosaurs · 6 years ago

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SPOOKY PALEONTOLOGY: THE (OC)CULT OF NESSIE One reason I haven’t been blogging as much here is that I’ve been busy with various academic projects including two book chapters, submissions for conference presentations, serving as a member of the steering committee for this year’s Religion and Monsters panel at the AAR, getting the long awaited second installment of Scholars Talking Toku up, and preparing to start applying for PhD programs at the end of the year.

One of the books I recently contributed to is tentatively titled “Paranormal and Popular-Culture” and should be coming out from Routledge early next year. The volume was conceived and edited by Darryl Caterine and John W. Morehead. My contribution was a chapter on the intersection of cryptozoology and science-fiction in which I endeavored to show that the central aims and obsessions of cryptozoology (i.e. the discovery of monstrous creatures alive in the world today) can be found to have originated in the realm of fantastic fiction.

My original draft for this chapter was over 11,000-words and had to be drastically reduced at the behest of the publisher (actually the entire book had to be shortened apparently). So I decided I could make use of some of that research here on my blog and just in time for Halloween. In this case I want to talk about lake monsters. Spooky lake monsters. Specifically the Loch Ness Monster.

Though reports of a monster living in Loch Ness don’t begin until 1933 the idea of such a creature dwelling somewhere within the British Isles can be found in The Lair of the White Worm; a horror novel by Dracula author Bram Stoker originally published in 1911 by Rider and Son of London with interior color illustrations by Tarot Card artist Pamela Colman Smith. In 1925 an abridged version of the novel was issued, losing more than 100 pages and 12 chapters.

Set in Derbyshire, England The Lair of the White Worm concerns Australian transplant Adam Salton who has traveled to meet his great-uncle, Richard Salton, as Adam is destined to become the heir of the family estate. As Adam quickly learns, however, high strangeness of various kinds is at work in the surrounding countryside including the death of livestock, mysterious black snakes slithering about, a child with vampire-like bite marks on her neck, hostile pigeons, and the mysterious Arabella March who lives nearby in a house located in Diana’s Grove; an area known to have once been the center of pagan religious rites.

Eager to get to the bottom of these various mysteries, Richard introduces Adam to his friend Sir Nathaniel de Salis; who fulfills the Van Helsing role in this novel of occult scholar. In Chapter 5, “The White Worm,” Sir Nathaniel fills Adam in on the various legends concerning Diana’s Grove including that it is the lair of a monstrous albino serpent or dragon; what the Anglo-Saxon’s called a ‘wyrm,�� hence the novel’s title. When Adam displays some skepticism about such tales Sir Nathaniel informs him that…

“A glance at a geological map will show that whatever truth there may have been of the actuality of such monsters in the early geologic periods, at least there was plenty of possibility. In England there were originally vast plains where the plentiful supply of water could gather. The streams were deep and slow, and there were holes of abysmal depth, where any kind and size of antediluvian monster could find a habitat. In places, which now we can see from our windows, were mud-holes a hundred or more feet deep. Who can tell us when the age of the monsters which flourished in slime came to an end? There must have been places and conditions which made for greater longevity, greater size, greater strength than was usual. Such over-lappings may have come down even to our earlier centuries.” (p. 187 in Penguin Classic’s Dracula’s Guest and Other Weird Tales, 2007)

Here we see that Sir Nathaniel is something of a proto-cryptozoologist and like his 20th-Century contemporaries advances the idea that the menacing white worm, like Nessie, is a prehistoric holdover who has somehow managed to survive for millions of years in the supposedly “abysmal depths” of the United Kingdom’s many lakes and lochs. Of course, the novel ends with the revelation that the worm is real and dwells in a pit beneath Arabella March’s home in Diana’s Grove where March worships and feeds the beast who in turn appears to endow her with evil supernatural powers. Ultimately, Adam is able to dispatch the monster via the handy combination of dynamite and a well-placed lightning bolt.

In 1988, English filmmaker Ken Russell (1927-2011) filmed a theatrical adaptation of The Lair of the White Worm. Russell’s version actually puts more emphasis on the story’s latent paleontological elements. Rather than being set in the early 20th-Centrury the story is moved up to the present day (i.e. 1980s) and Adam Salton is recast as Angus Flint (Peter Capaldi; the Twelfth Doctor); a Scottish archaeologist excavating the site of a Roman era Christian convent in Derbyshire. Among the ruins Flint discovers what appears to be the skull of a dinosaur! The locals connect the skull to the legend of the d'Ampton wyrm, said to have been slain in Stonerich Cavern by John d'Ampton, the ancestor of current Lord of the Manor, James d'Ampton (Hugh Grant of Four Weddings and a Funeral [94] and Bridget Jones’s Diary [2001]). Flint attends a party at d’Ampton Manor where he meets James and the audience is treated to a rocking rendition of the legend of the d’Ampton wyrm (based on the real-life legend of the Lambton Worm).

Stonerich Cavern is connected to the home of the enigmatic Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) who steals the skull from Flint and also abducts his girlfriend Eve. While a symbiotic relationship between Marsh and the White Worm is only hinted at in Stoker’s novel, it is explicit in Russell’s film with Marsh assuming the form of a silver-skinned serpentine vampire who’s appearance I would have to guess was inspired by the look of a similar monster seen in Hammer’s The Reptile (1966, dir. John Gilling). It is soon revealed that Marsh is the immortal priestess of an ancient pre-Christian snake god named Dionin whose next sacrifice is going to be Eve. In order to rescue his girlfriend and expunge the evil from the countryside Flint enlists the aid of James and the two mount an assault on Marsh and Dionin.

For most cryptozoology enthusiasts, Nessie is believed to be an extant plesiosaur which somehow survived the K–Pg extinction event some 66-million-years ago. As a result the idea of Nessie being related to anything like the subject of Stoker’s The Lair of the White Worm – with its occult evil, secret cults, human sacrifice and vampires – may seem strange indeed. However at least one noted Nessie research drew just such a circle of connections around the Loch Ness Monster. That man was Fredrick William Holiday (1921–1979).

Like most Nessie researchers, Holiday started out proposing that Nessie was a prehistoric survivor. Not a plesiosaur but rather a Tully Monster (Tullimonstrum gregarium); a genus of soft-bodied bilaterian that lived during Late Carboniferous period some 323.2 million-years-ago to 298.9 million-years-ago and whose fossil remains were discovered in Illinois in the late 1960s. The exact nature of the Tully Monster is actually a source of great paleontological controversy which you can learn about here. Like all cryptozoologists expounding prehistoric survivor paradigm theories Holiday was at a loss to explain how the warm water Tully Monster had survived hundreds of millions of years in a cold lake on the other side of the world. He also had the not insignificant problem that the fossils of Tully Monster indicated that its maximum size was about 14-inches, pretty puny for the Loch Ness Monster. Nevertheless, Holiday put forth his Tully Monster theory in his 1968 book The Great Orm of Loch Ness; “orm” being another variation on “wyrm.”

However, as Holiday continued to research the Loch Ness Monster he began noticing strange things happening to him. This included his camera always malfunctioning whenever he tried to take a shot of Nessie, glimpses of mysterious orbs of light, apparent UFO sightings and experiences of missing time. As a result by the early 1970s Holiday ceased promoting the idea that Nessie was a Tully Monster and started claiming that it was a supernatural entity that was both the basis of ancient dragon legends and somehow connected to UFOs; hence the title of his second book: The Dragon and the Disc (1973). This trend in Holiday’s research continued and by the late 70s Holiday was apparently wrapped up in all kinds of occult phenomena and evidently claiming that Nessie was the object of reverence of a secret dragon cult practicing human sacrifice hidden in the surrounding Inverness environs. All this prompted Holiday’s final book The Goblin Universe (published in 1986, after his death) which was co-authored with sci-fi writer Colin Wilson; author of The Space Vampires (1976), which was later turned into the film Lifeforce (1986) directed by Tobe Hooper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist) and scripted by Dan O’Bannon (Alien). You want a crazy Halloween double-feature? Watch Russell’s The Lair of the White Worm and Hooper’s Lifeforce back-to-back.

#loch ness monster #nessie #cryptozoology #cryptid #bram stoker #vampire #the lair of the white worm #ken russell #ted holiday #lampton worm #peter capaldi #hugh grant #lake monster #colin wilson

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drewdonaldson · 2 years ago

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C.V 2023

ANDREW PHILIP DONALDSON

PRODUCER/DIRECTOR/D.P/EDITOR/WRITER.

Latin Grammy and Cannes Short Film Awards.

DEMO REEL

Date of birth:

4th June 1977 - Age: 46.

Nationality: British.

Languages: English, Spanish, and some Italian.

Email:

[email protected], [email protected]

Mobile:

U.K (+44) 0 7543 660643

Mexico (+52) 1 55 2132 6985

Web site:

http://drewdonaldson.tumblr.com/

YouTube channel

BIO:

I have produced films in the Americas, India, Africa and, England for the past 21 years, working with networks such as the BBC, ABC News, MTV, and HBO. I co-produced and filmed the Grammy Award-winning documentary “El Objeto Antes Llamado Disco” and Sang del Drac a multiple award-winning Short Film including Best Short Film and People’s Choice at the Cannes Short Film of the Year 2021

as well as numerous videos and documentaries in the field of music with an accumulated 150 million views on YouTube for an estimated 60 videos that I have produced for the likes of Café Tacuba, Julieta Venegas and Nortec, lately I have produced and directed 2 projects Autismo A B P and Koretsky - Signs Of Life (Official Video) that I am keen to share with you. In 21 years I have worked on a total of 20 documentaries, 3 films and lots of music videos.

My true passions and expertise are in Producing, Directing, and Shooting, it’s where I feel most resourceful nowadays!

I see myself as a key element to any production with a professional and ethical way of executing any script, shot list or project.

Skillset - Team leader, problem solver, planner, initiative.

Interests - Film, ecology, sustainability, and anthropology.

Professions -

Producer, Director, Director of Photography, videography, Multi-Camera Director, Editor (Final cut, Premier), Audio Engineer, Social Media Networking. Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

Applications -

Final Cut, Premier, Photoshop, Microsoft Office, Excel, iWork, Social Media Networking. Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

Past Work -

2022. Paul Hampton - The Great Unknown, Director, D.P. Editor. 2021. Pedro Martinez - Otra Vez. Writer, Director, Editor. 2021. Pedro Martinez - No Es Amor. Writer, Director, D.P. Editor.

2020. Sang del Drac, A.D, Associate producer, 2 Cannes Short Film Awards.

2020. Ole Koretsky-Signs of Life- Homage to Dolores O`Riordan Music video. All.

2020. Tordo - EPK Latest Album (All) Director, D.P. and edit.

2019. Informe Sobre Caricias Guillermo Briseño y Elenco. All.

2019. Cine minuto Autismo, E.P, Writer, Director, D.P and Editor.

2018. Elise Lebec – Saqqara- Making of - Producer.

2018. Elise Lebec – Saqqara- Music Video- Producer.

2017. Rolando Luna-Buena Vista Social Club –Music Video, Dir., D.P., Editor.

2017. Un Aplauso al Corazon - Guillermo Briseño. Director, D.P., Editor.

2017. Natalia Marrokin- A mi Doliente Estrella- Music Video, Producer.

2017. Natalia Marrokin - Go Down and Go Down- Music Video, Producer.

2017. Beto Hale Orbs of Light, Music Video, Producer.

2017. Beto Hale Orbs of Light, The making of, Producer, Camera, and Audio.

2016. Bosque de Niebla, 9 Award Winning Film, Audio, Additional Photography.

2016. Meme de Real- Café Tacuba, Todo va esta bien, Lyric Video, D.P.

2016. Meme de Real- Café Tacuba, Todo va esta bien, Producer.

2016. Alejandra Guzman - Esa Noche - Music Video, Producer.

2016. Beto Hale Closer to You, Music Video, Producer.

2016. Moenia-Sony Records, Music Video Producer.

2015. Ana Torroja – Documentary, Addition Photography.

2015. MTV unplugged Doc - Pepe Aguilar & Meme, Addition Photography.

2015. DLD-Sony Records Cruzadas Music Video, Producer.

2015. Gift - Documentary, Director, Camera, Editor.

2015. Reboot the Robot-Why- Music Video, Director, Camera, Editor.

2014. Nortec - Camino Verde Music Film and Clip, Associate Producer.

2013. Beta - “Luces”. Directo, D.P, Edit.

2013. Cafe Tacuba. - The Film, “El Objeto Antes Llamado Disco”. Photography.

2013. Julieta Venegas. - Music DVD and Clip “Momentos”. Photography.

2013. Cafe Tacuba. - Making of “Aprovechate, Music Video”. D.P.

2012. Cafe Tacuba. - Music Video “Este Lado Del Camino”. Producer, Photography.

2012. Cafe Tacuba. - Tour Concerts (45 In Total) Director of Photography

2010. Duncan Bridgeman’s Film: “Hecho En Mexico”. Camera and Audio.

2010. ABC News: “Special Coverage. Haiti”. The Aid Movement and News.

2009. Mark Vincent’s: “Violence In Mexico”.

2009. HBO: “Sports 24/7. Juan Manuel Marquez vs Mayweather. Series”. Fixer.

2009. HSBC/ Jacaranda Productions: “U.K Cooperate Video”. Audio Mixer.

2008. BBC: “Special Reports Juarez, Mexico”, Camera Operator, Audio and Editing.

2008-2013. MTV Bunin & Murray: “The Island”. Audio Mixer 5 Series

2008. Discovery Channel: “Bullet Proof Vest” Documentary. Audio Mixer

2007. Independent Documentary “Day Noon Night”. D.P, Producer.

2005. World Wildlife Foundation-Telcel: “Papalotzin” (The Journey of the Monarch Butterfly Documentary). Assistant Director, Camera.

I have also had extensive experience working as a Multi-camera Director for over 50 concerts for Cafe Tacuba and Camera Operator for artists such as Iron Maiden, Mumford and Sons, Julieta Venegas, Ariana Grande, and Mick Hucknall from Simply Red.

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ask-de-writer · 2 years ago

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I would like to thank Delightfully

EAGER BINGE READER

@furislupus for READING and LIKING

My whole MASTER STORY INDEX SECTION,

and read deeply into the MLP Fan Fiction

section

FORTRESS CANTERLOT!

BANANA PIE’S BANANA PIE!

De WRITER AND THE ORB OF THE AGES

From Darkness to Dawn

A DAY IN THE ANTIQUE TRADE

De Writer's Tale - a poem

DASHIE'S DAD - a poem

DID UNHINGED PONY JUST SAVE

EQUESTRIA?

Tam and Heather (Chapters 1 to 2 of 12)

and two written by @Wind-the-Mama-Cat

An Ancient Loop-hole

WHAT DREAMS MAY COME

#@furislupus #FORTRESS CANTERLOT!#BANANA PIE’S BANANA PIE!#De WRITER AND THE ORB OF THE AGES #From Darkness to Dawn #A DAY IN THE ANTIQUE TRADE #De Writer's Tale - a poem #DASHIE'S DAD - a poem #Tam and Heather #Chapters 1 to 2 of 12 #DID UNHINGED PONY JUST SAVE EQUESTRIA?'#MLP Fan Fiction #Written by De Writer #WHAT DREAMS MAY COME #An Ancient Loop-hole #written by @Wind-the-Mama-Cat

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reactingtosomething · 8 years ago

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Reacting to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2

Part I: Can an Asshole Just Be an Asshole?

The Setup: We’re four writer friends living in two time zones, who text each other a lot about All of the Things. We decided we wanted to work on something together, so this is happening. First up, two of us watched Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. We had a lot to say, so we’re splitting our Reaction into two installments. Comments after the fact are in italics.

SPOILERS BELOW.

KRIS: Wow that is just wild. I didn’t realize iMessage would export it so neatly.

MIRI: I know!

It’s SUPER convenient

Ok, ready to start?

KRIS: Yep

I feel pressure from myself to have a mission statement

Or a critical philosophy

MIRI: Well that’s your general state, so I’m not surprised

KRIS: Fair

MIRI: You’ve now seen Guardians Vol. 2 twice

Within how much time?

KRIS: Definitely under 48 hours?

MIRI: I loved it

I just really loved it

KRIS: See I wonder if being with people who so clearly enjoyed it helped me revise my opinion upward

I liked but was also disappointed with it on my first viewing

MIRI: Interesting! It may have

And isn’t that somewhat the point of the communal viewing experience?

What disappointed you?

KRIS: I guess so

The BEST answer I have, from a kind of writerly-nerdy angle, is that the Guardians are a lot more reactive than just active-active this time around

A more Kris-specific gut feeling answer is that I often felt the shallowness of the writing overshadowed the sincerity of the emotions

MIRI: Aaah. I wonder if a certain amount of that was inevitable, because as there is more canon/past to react to there will always be more reactivity?

On the emotions front, I see what you’re saying.

But also I am a sucker and it got me right in the gut

Or wherever my feelings live

KRIS: I guess, but I wonder if it will be helpful here to compare and contrast throughout this chat with Age of Ultron

Since they’re both team sequels

MIRI: It will not be helpful, because I will just yell

KRIS: From auteur-y dudes who have some superficial similarities

Okay I’ll try to minimize comparisons then, but a key difference is that the main conflict of Ultron comes from a decision Tony makes

And this sets all the personality conflicts into motion

MIRI: Whereas in Guardians 2 it came from Papa Planet?

That’s fair

KRIS: Right, or at least I think you can say that’s the A-conflict

MIRI: btw I’m calling him that from now on

KRIS: If the B-conflict is set off by Rocket stealing batteries

I’m onboard with Papa Planet

MIRI: Excellent

KRIS: Because it’s not a worse name than Ego

Although Ego is on-the-nose in a good way

MIRI: Um it’s dramatically better

thank you very much

I actually didn’t hate Ego (as a name), but I quite like Papa Planet

(again, as a name)

((he can suck an egg as a being/father))

KRIS: But anyway yeah, if the A-story is Quill’s Father-Son Drama, it’s a thing that happens to the Guardians, not a thing that comes from their pre-existing desires (in Vol 1: Quill wants to get rich/Gamora wants to escape Thanos/Drax wants to kill the shit out of Ronan)

MIRI: You’re definitely right that there was a lot more reaction than pure action, but I think it worked for me better than it may have because I liked the reactions for the most part.

Also, I haven’t rewatched the first one in about a year

so no unfavorable comparisons

KRIS: Sure, it definitely felt like the characters reacted “authentically”

MIRI: I’ve seen Ultron more recently

KRIS: Those quote marks feel more aggressively scare quotey than I intended

MIRI: I will always be gotten by team-as-family dynamics. I’m an easy mark

hahahaha

I will not judge you for your quotation marks

KRIS: We’re definitely going to have to come back to the Fast and Furious parallels

MIRI: I have seen approximately 2 and 4 halves of those movies

So I won’t be able to speak intelligently about them, but I will speak passionately regardless

KRIS: Did Quill’s (I don’t know why I’ve landed on Quill as opposed to Star-Lord or Peter but am open to changing) story end up being for you as strong as the movie wants/needs it to be, or did you find one of the subplots more compelling?

MIRI: a) Quill is cooler and more distinctive than Peter, and Star-Lord is not a name to take seriously

2) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yes and no

The Yondu element of Quill’s Daddy Issues was effective to me

I enjoyed Quill triumphing over the evil stars in his eyes murder tool state

And the whole picture of David Hasselhoff thing worked pretty well to me

KRIS: Okay yeah, I’d agree with all of this

MIRI: The actual lived relationship with Yondu (unhealthy as it clearly must be CONSIDERING PETER GENUINELY THOUGHT YONDU WAS IN DANGER OF EATING HIM THE WHOLE DAMN TIME) was waaaaay more effective for me than the general concept of Daddy issues or anything Papa Planet put out there.

KRIS: I should say here that I rewatched Guardians 1 last night to see if that would help, and I’m pretty sure it did

MIRI: how so?

KRIS: I was not especially a fan of Yondu in Vol 1, and found him hard to invest in on my first viewing of Vol 2

And when he had a Sad Backstory (in 2) in the cell with Rocket, I was kind of like, did we need that?

Like they ALL have sad backstories, does Yondu need one too? Can an asshole just be an asshole?

MIRI: Well, he can when he’s a murdery planet

I did really like the detail of Papa Planet putting the tumor in Mama Quill’s head--it seemed incredibly in character to me. Loving her and wanting to spend time with her didn’t make him reconsider universe-wide genocide, it made him see her as a problem to be solved.

KRIS: Yeah that was a pretty effective reveal

MIRI: Re: Yondu’s backstory, I do recognize that they’re playing on the heartstrings pretty deliberately

KRIS: Right

MIRI: But I kind of feel like doing that successfully is its own form of quality?

KRIS: Like I probably would’ve been fine with the jail cell story if Yondu hadn’t also had a big I KNOW YOU BOY BECAUSE YOU’RE ME speech to Rocket later

MIRI: It might not be the best writing ever, but it’s doing what it sets out to do quite well

Yeah, that’s true

I didn’t super love Rocket’s whole arc

KRIS: That was also an issue for me the first time I saw it, but weirdly less so the second

MIRI: Since this one was very much about Quill’s Emotions with Gamora/KarenGillan* as the emotional b/c story, I think maybe saving Rocket’s Partial Redemption for Volume 3 might have been better

*Nebula

KRIS: To try to tie off some of the Yondu thread here, a reason it ended up working for me on a second viewing is that most of it does seem to be consciously set up in Vol 1

MIRI: Oh, that’s good

I did really really love the whole Ravagers code payoff and the funeral

KRIS: Another great payoff in the funeral scene: the little “dashboard” dolls he collects -- the gemstone one is from the broker on Xandar, and the Troll is what Quill gave him when he swapped out the Orb at the end

MIRI: OMG really???

I love that!!!!

Awwwwww

Miri is still Emotional about this 3 days later

Plus it’s nice that they managed to twist the whole android brothel walkout thing--I definitely thought the other Ravagers were the “badder guys” in that scenario

KRIS: Yeah, and Yondu’s reaction when he sees the Troll, instead of being pissed that the Guardians “stole” the orb back, is this genuine laugh

So I could buy a real affection for Quill

MIRI: When really they were the ones who don’t deal in children and Yondu was in the wrong, but once he realized how wrong he stopped

and they eventually forgive him 😢

Ohhh, I remember that laugh

KRIS: So for sure Yondu’s arc is probably objectively the most effective thing happening here

MIRI: He genuinely is proud that Quill has grown up so well, both as a thief and a man

KRIS: I guess I was annoyed that he’d suddenly become a major character

Because Gamora and Drax felt sidelined

MIRI: YES

I was ok with Drax, because while I love him, I fear his whole schtick will get very old if they try to center him too much

KRIS: I did appreciate Gamora being the pragmatic one, and being right pretty much every time

MIRI: But Gamora has a ton of range and even more parental drama

KRIS: Like she was right when she suggested Quill should take a chance with Papa Planet, and then she was also right when she realized something was off

MIRI: And right that they killed him

KRIS: And she had her own blindspot where Nebula was concerned

Which I think is an arc that works at least 80 percent because of Karen Gillan

As opposed to the writing

MIRI: I wish that we had gotten a bit more Nebula, as well

totally agree

She does so much with so little

KRIS: I mean the backstory element of it is there in Vol 1, that Thanos is The Worst Father Ever

MIRI: Right, but the emotions aren’t super well explored

KRIS: But that big emotional scene after Gamora drags her out of the wreck -- “All I wanted was a sister” -- needed another few beats, I thought

MIRI: Because Gamora is a Tough Chick

Yes! The writing definitely felt the most clunky in those sister moments

Which is in part because the relationship is always going to be fractious, but also is just a bit of a weakness

KRIS: Yeah Gamora is kind of a conundrum for me. Sometimes I really love her, and other times I just don’t quite buy what the story wants her to do/be, and I’m genuinely not sure if it’s more a writing issue or a performance issue

Most superficially (and definitely a writing issue): Is she strong enough to walk around with a giant starship cannon, or is she not strong enough to easily carry one human sized person around?

MIRI: Having seen Zoe Saldana in other things where she played a tough woman with limited emotions, I’m inclined to think writing

Maybe we need to React to Colombiana at some point; Kris hasn’t seen that. We may also need to bring in a Guest Reactor for a rewatch of The Losers...

Hahahahahhahaha such a good question

I think there’s the obvious desire for her to be the sexy hot chick, and then a partial desire for her to not just be that

So they’ve made her kind of flat so that she’s not the emotional lady character

KRIS: I feel like the story isn’t sure whether it wants Gamora to have this sort of formal edge to her where she uses words like “shall” instead of “will”, or whether it wants her to be a more “traditional” Bad Girl

MIRI: True. I would say that Rocket, Quill, and Drax all have more clearly defined voices and speech patterns.

And Groot, obvi

KRIS: And even Nebula, who has this Sullen Teenager vibe

MIRI: I just really love Nebula

I know I always love the angry girl who can kill people (which should probably concern me)

KRIS: Where I really missed Gamora and Drax having agency was honestly just the action element of the climax

MIRI: But I really love her.

KRIS: They spend the whole first half of the final battle standing and watching

And most of the second half being almost engulfed by Papa Planet’s Blue Tendrils of Doom

Although at least there was that great Nebula rescue beat (“get over it”)

And Drax having a moment where he chose self-sacrifice

MIRI: Both of those worked nicely for me

One last thing on Nebula: I think part of my interest is the fact that she’s allowed to have her own drive, rather than being tied to Quill’s emotional needs

She wants to kill Thanos, and she’s damn well going to

KRIS: Yeah, for sure

MIRI: And her tie to her sister will be a factor, but killing Thanos is always there

KRIS: I really hope they do right by her in Infinity War

MIRI: I don’t really trust that they will

KRIS: Me either

MIRI: But they have set her up as being a factor, so there’s hope

KRIS: I mean in general I trust Marcus/McFeely and the Russos, but just sooo many characters and I can’t see them not defaulting to giving Steve and/or Tony the ultimate victory

MIRI: Oh, yeah. I think the Guardians folks are going to be mostly comic relief and deus ex machina

KRIS: But yeah. That third act. Welcome to the Quill and Yondu show, mostly for better, but for Gamora and Drax superfans partly for worse

MIRI: Especially if it’s the end of anyone from the first stage’s tenure

Yeah, that’s very true. I guess I’m just kind of too jaded to expect the women to be centered in MCU action

KRIS: Did love the whole asking for tape gag, though

MIRI: and as stated I like Drax as secondary

The tape gag was fun!

They did a nice job of including funny moments in the trailers without giving away the best part of said moments

which is rare

So props to whoever edited the trailers!!!

KRIS: Drax is probably my favorite (part of this is shamelessly because Dave Bautista is a bald Filipino man) but on my first viewing I actually did feel like his shtick got old fast

MIRI: It’s important to be able to see yourself in media!

Find Part II of our Guardians Reaction here.

#guardians of the galaxy #Miri #Kris #mcu #guardians spoilers #Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 #movies #reaction #superheroes

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 7 years ago

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warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright... here we go. we’re starting the big one. this... thing is almost over.

we’re going back to........ kooraheen to finish this.

time to strap in for the long haul.

did Dhurke hijack the PP show or was he just watching it and he decided to make that speech at his TV

i honestly can’t tell because of the weird way the scene was set. it looks like a reflection from a TV screen, but it also fades like a broadcast being intercepted...

fuck I'm just distracted by Dhurke’s stupid voice. and uncomfortable at the actress playing Rayfa. imagine being the princess and having your favourite show turn you into a weird damsel in distress being manhandled by ninjas. gross.

also yay! they’ve got the indiana jones orb!! time to melt off some faces...

ok it was a hijacked show... ...why is there a news report on this in America? Are American troupes assisting in the Kooraheenese war?

“Daaaa-aaaad. What’re you up to thiiiiis time???”

i love how not-giving-a-shit-about-it apollo is here. and by love it i mean hate it.

oh, your long-lost adoptive father just happens to pop up on television starting a revolution, and this is the first time you’ve heard from him in like 20 years? huh, no big deal.

AND ACE ATTORNEY TURNS INTO THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW

oh noooo... he’s one of THESE guys... ururughhhhghghgh

“Wait... don’t tell me you haven’t told anyone about me, son?”

“I’m sorry, dad, it’s just you didn’t exist up until now...”

“you just show up here without warning after all this time... what gives?”

apollo’s got a point there, pa. also Dhurke’s theme reminds me of Coach Oleander’s from Psychonauts

Apollo just instinctively knows that nobody wants to be around him unless they’re getting labour out of him. That’s... honestly really depressing. I mean I know it’s supposed to be a joke but I just can’t bring myself to laugh.

its just... apollo is legitimately so bitter and sad that i just feel awful for him.

yeesh... this whole thing just started off super sour.

wait, the piano has sentimental value to phoenix? they mentioned he never practiced on it and he didn’t like being a piano player... does that mean this piano is something phoenix just happened to own, and has its own backstory? I WANNA KNOW

(snerk)

ok thats mean but it did make me laugh

the JACKET IS APOLLO’S

IT IS APOLLO’S

HOLY SHIT

the rest of this case can be total shit but at least we figured out the mystery of the discarded red jacket.

“our houseplant was called apollo”

“was it a cactus?”

“How’d you guess?”

“cause apollo doesn’t get enough hugs, either!”

apollos dad is so cool he reads his son’s personal shit out loud. what a great guy!

“That’s too bad! You seem like you’d be a fun, cool guy to hang out with!”

when he wasn’t being a rebel and not having time for his kids, obviously.

THERE IT IS!

siblings dont know theyre siblings joke is funny both normally and ironically because the writers need to FUCKIN GET ON THAT

also i love that he’s basically like “hey son, this girl doesn't resent me! you should marry her so that i can continue to get favours out of you!”

“What did Mr. Dhurke mean when he said he was the man who raised you, apollo?” i dunno, trucy... think with your mind brains...

“How come you never told me?!”

“Sorry, it’s just, capcom hadn’t butchered my backstory at that point yet.”

I honestly find it really weird that Trucy’s all chirpy about this. She of all people should know the sting of a dad just up and disappearing on you.

Dhurke: I have to steal this orb. I’m asking you two because youre lawyers.

Kay Faraday, sitting in the Capcom warehouse: (sneezes)

Dhurke: I made a stupid gamble. Hope you can bail me out, son I haven’t seen in 20 years!

nooo.... don’t bring Kurain Village into this, pleeeeaaase... I don’t want to have my favourite village ruined for meeeeee....

:3c i chose nope

i wonder what Trucy would do if Zak waltzed in and immediately asked her for a favour. tbf phoenix would probably launch him into the sun before he could set foot into the office but...

Ok... So Dhurke doesn’t actually want to fix the legal system; he just said that he wants to gain immense spiritual power which will somehow give him the legal authority to RULE Kooraheen.

how does spiritual power have any effect on land deeds anyway?

“Only the rulers of Kooraheen have ever laid eyes on the orb, Apollo”

and Ahlbi’s seen the box.

“I figured you were poor as fuck so I brought you a plate of sushi!”

ok either A) He thought so little of Apollo that he assumed he’d just be starving on the street

or B) He’s been keeping tabs on Apollo and knows that the WAA doesn’t make a lot of cash, yet he hasn’t made any attempt to contact Apollo himself. Until he needs a favour.

what a.... great guy.

what the FUCK

“here, as my second present... a PICTURE OF YOUR REAL DAD, THE ONE WHO CARED ABOUT YOU AND IS DEAD. HOORAY!”

i can tell theyre trying to do the ‘Hagrid gives Harry a photo album of his family for comfort” but its REALLY NOT THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES.

His name was... JJ.

~as you know~

also why would a musician perform with magicians?

y’know, ive seen pictures of Jove Justice so far. and A) he looks like a tool, and B) the designers were lazy as fuck and just slapped Apollo’s hair onto Phoenix’s face. I had a pretty negative opinion of him initially. I was thinking I wouldn’t like any of Apollo’s new dads.

But you know what? If they go deeper into Jove’s backstory and prove that he was a caring father, I’m ready to completely drop any criticisms of him and carry this guy on my shoulders

cause compared to Dhurke ill bet he's a freakin angel

...welp... back to Kurain village. At least it’ll remind me of bygone days...

...heh, aw. it’s cute. i like the sparrows on the roof.

ooh! an updated theme, too! not quite as nice as the original but it is nice.

he was full of piss and vinegar

jesus

yeah, kids run around naked. its not super surprising.

“man, I miss that hut...”

apollo youre gonna make me cry;;

Ema: :) i’ll show you the way to Dr. Buff. SURPRISE, HES DEAD! AHAHAHAHHAHA

NOOO

MY SYSTEM FUCKED UP AND STARTED ME OVER FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER AAARGRRJHRFJ

id gone on a short break and i come back to this (weep)

...

does Dhurke have boobs..?

...or just extremely prominent pecs...

phew ok back on track.

wait hold on. if Dr. Buff is in Kurain village, where is he staying exactly? All the houses in Kurain village are old-style Japanese; this appears to be a modern day number.

“please tell me youre joking”

“as if i’d come out here for a few laughs, Apollo”

yeah but youre not above leading him to the dr’s study and THEN telling him he’s dead WTF

ahah. further proof that stepladders are superior.

i mean i know he didnt actually fall off that ladder by accident or whatever but still

“you could say he died an honourable death...”

...crushed under his nerd books like a fuckin cartoon :T

YEAH

POPS

POHLFUCKYA

“I’m so sorry... It seems you’ve had quite a life.”

Why else would she say that except that some poor dialogue translator is secretly begging the series to stop fucking up his backstory

“I mean, middle-aged man with long hair and an eye-patch? You don’t see that everyday.”

just give Valant an eyepatch

hang on. why does an archeologist in America have Kooraheen’s founding orb anyway? I thought it burnt peoples’ faces off. And was super precious. Queen Garananana doesn't seem like someone who’d just hand out a precious ball like that.

oh huh they found an ugly dalek. thats two dalek references in this game now...

did i just... have a ladder conversation about a relic that looks like an airplane.

why does everyone keep making blithe jokes about the doctors horrible death..? does that usually happen or am i misremembering

WHAT THE STATUE OF AMI AND THE URN AND THE GRAVY SCROLL ARE THERE NOOOOOO YOU GET YOUR SLIMY HANDS OFF THEM SOJ, PUT THEM BACK IN T&T WHERE THEY BELONG

god there’s even a coffee shelf. i guess this side of the room is the “Relics of a better game” section.

polly the clean freak. what a sweetheart :)

aw yeah baby

its printing time

oh yeah i forgot this version of printing SUCKS

but i do like the little pap sound it makes when you put down powder

...they have Datz and Dhurkes prints on file.

You guys sure rock at being undercover.

ill give them credit for having the Dance of Devotion not rhyme in English.

seeing lyrics again just gives me flashbacks to Serenade tho

Guitar, Guitar... Up together to the sky...

MAY-OR DE-WEY

MAY-OR DE-We

wait that has the same number of syllables if you just say the pun

PAUL-A TI-SHON

...why the fuck is he in a palanquin

anybody in a palanquin is bad news ALSO WHY DOES IT SAY RECLAIM THE GLORY OF KURAIN

KURAIN DOES NOT HAVE POLTIICIANS. ESPECIALLY NOT MALE ONES.

SOJ. SOJ WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY.

oh yeah he’s a bad guy

...king of this fine nation. First of all... America doesn’t have kings. Second of all, Kurain isn’t a country, it’s a small village. Either he’s a moron or SOJ is fucking up at unprecedented speeds

...did his theme song just ‘wheeee’

“Jerk Q. Public”

pffft

i wish you were golden boy. then you'd be morally questionable but entertaining.

I'm very uncomfortable

k so we’re back in Kurain and so far we’ve seen Zero women in total apart from Ema.

even the unnamed heckler was an old man.

is this the same Kurain Village I know?

wh- talk??

what do you mean talk???

i dont wanna talk to this guy he's a dickcheese!!!

Trucy’s 17 and she hasn’t studied politics at least a little yet? ...weird

“Its real name is the Crystal of Ami Fey”

wait what

“It’s been passed down for generations in the Atishon family”

WAIT WHAT

is he dicking around or is he distantly related to maya

or is he just totally dicking around

if so how dare he use Ami’s name in vain.

where is Datz from anyway

paul i dont mean to dash your hopes but becoming grand high emperor of kurain village will in fact not make you king of the world

datz sure is a good rebel... getting caught... and put in jail...........

damnit, Vore Machine, what am i gonna do with you?

well Apollo, from demon to deer. thats not bad.

dog-faced cop..??

if youre very sneakily referencing our old pal Gumshoe youve got another thing coming, Vore Machine. In the form of my fist.

“A shut-in? Sounds like it will be a challenge just to get a conversation going.”

yeah.... not like youve.... ever dealt with someone like that....... before....... hehe.... heh..............

how long has Datz been in jail if he already knows the cafeteria itinerary

um guys; maybe you should be a tiny bit more concerned about Athena??

i just realized the Shichishito is gold. It’s green, you idiots. Or is that one too bent and bloody for display??

thats it folks thats spirit of justice

apollo has become a living title drop

hes fuckin dead

what kind of bullets were those

yeah apollo, a fledgeling is equivalent to a private.

...also youre not a fledgeling youre near full experience capacity. this is your third... (and last...) year.

so Dhurke is in full stealth mode until it comes to a remotely operated drone that could have literally anybody on the other side? brilliant, pal.

this is why your revolution’s taken like 23 years to get off the ground, jsyk.

...k komandir?

i thought you were supposed to be a parody of The Soldier. what are you doing calling people by Russian military names? did the red scare not happen in this reality?

pfft

it’s so cute.

im struggling between finding it adorable and being uncomfortable

“in other words, something caused him to withdraw from the world...”

maybe his mom’s death??? maybe?????

does anyone in this game understand how a bad thing make a peoples’ brain go???

pretty impressive that a woman’s body could provide sufficient cushioning to soften such a drop.

lol. death attributed to random maniac. thanks soj.

“Private Justice! You’ve suffered a loss just like mine!”

“I have... and thats how I know how you feel.”

yes, i can remember exactly happened when i was a one-year old in diapers. exactly the same kind of pain and trauma.

look i know theyre trying to have a moment but there’s a huge difference between growing up orphaned and being recently bereaved. Sure, Apollo’s seen his fair share of hardship and his experiences aren’t to be devalued, but it’s not the same kind of pain as having your parents die later in your life, especially with the mom’s horrific demise.

Honestly, it’d make more sense if he brought up Clay, since Clay was with him since he was very small and his death was sudden and deeply unfair.

BUT CLAY’S IN THE PAST, CLAY DOESN’T EXIST, WHO’S CLAY?? I DONT KNOW BACK TO SPIRIT OF JUSTICE

YEAH

POHLFUCKYA DURKE

dhurke the burk amiright attorneys

“the opaque crystal orb is the key”

>needless adjective

>will come into play later in court

um so nobody’s gonna mention the blonde lady on his desktop background or........

i like sarge. i hope they dont turn sour when theyre revealed.

nice boot

ooh phosphorescence! neato!

pearl: hello I'm here to do something ive never done before to provide clues for this case. i hope i’ve been useful! thank you, and goodnight.

...as contrived as this is, i am glad to see someone who actually comes from kurain village.

wow, the gangs all here huh

so they renamed Eagle Mountain “”””mt. mitama”””” eh

nice...............

“you are at that age, after all...”

says apollo who's like 24

also why is she talking about all the women leaving the village? i thought it was the men. is this why i haven't seen any ladies? they all just shipped off downtown?? and of course there’s no mention of the creepy oppressive atmosphere and strictness of the village...

nice alliteration apollo

rain spirit at a bus stop and you hacks didnt make a Totoro joke?? lame

“Dj’you bring a light?”

“Ņ̮͔̜̬͖̝ͫͦ̄̒̀̾̆̓̀ͤͨ͋̓̈̑̂͗́ͤo̸̵͈͎̤͇̤̙̯͔̙͖̞̳̙̠̹̞̲̭ͣ́ͫ͌ͦ̒́͞ͅ?ͯͩͨ̾̅̈ͮ̉̀̌͛̆͑̚҉̧͓̠͎̠͎̀̀”

how can you not recognize a foreign voice you idiot

“He tried to fucking kill us but he also gave us this flashlight. To um... see our slow death by starvation better I guess?”

“We couldn’t get back to where we started if we wanted to”

if you wanted to??? thats exactly what you want!!!

Klavier: Hello! This is flashback Klavier here to say: Don’t you miss me? Haha. I miss existing too. Oh well! See you next time~ ...i if there is one.

DEAD

aw, lucky you! you lucked into falling to your death directly to where you wanted to go!

“Yes! Time to find that orb! When we have it, we can....rot here for eternity.”

...ok i know the doc found a way out but still

wHAT THE FUCK

THAT HOLE IS LIKE 40 FEET UP

...oh well, if phoenix can survive it, so can they..?

i love that there are various sea-related items scattered around that give an obvious way out but only yield “durr??? a sea thing??? how this get here??????????” when inspected

whats with dhurkes’ magic eyes

mmmmmmmm a slide puzzle great

“maybe the ppictures correspond to the song”

REALLY??

what is with this game and not outright stating the obvious? its not like it spoils the player or anything; it just makes the WAA look like idiots

fuck this I'm gonna finish this stupid puzzle without this game’s help or die trying

...ah. my personal need for pattern and order blinded me to the truth

oh well; it’s open now. i’m gonna smash Eshiro’s stupid smirking face with it.

“opening that box means you're the best lawyer ever! enjoy leaving the series forever!!!”

“A royal stole that orb”

stole it... as opposed to just taking it and doing whatever they want with it because it’s theirs and there’s absolutely no reason to have to “steal” it.

unless they wanted to frame the rebels i guess but like. theyre rebels. theyre already pretty hated

“it would be seen as utter sacrilege to let a foreign man study this artifact”

oh also it would debunk that whole “explodes your face if you look at it” thing

...here we go...

“he used to be a nice kid, but now...”

he’s an enourmous shitstain?

“he tried to convict trucy for a crime she didnt even commit...”

ok, apollo. there are a zillion valid reasons to hate sadmad, and yes, his reasoning in that trial was shit. but just being a prosecutor and doing what a prosecutor is meant to do doesn’t make him evil. he isn’t about to just roll over because the defendant’s your sis–– er, best friend.

he... could be playing the long game, and interfering could fuck up his plan, Dhurke. Also how was he a rebel and then somehow managed to get into good graces with the royals? It’s already been proven that Dhurke’s Dummy Dragon Gang suck at being stealthy or having any sense of self-preservation. I doubt they just wouldn’t recognize Sadmad

“it’s not conviction that fills his heart; it’s resignation and despair”

are you telling me Sadmad is the equivalent of a guy in a dead end office job taking it out on his coworkers

“The only thing I know for sure is... Nahyuta is suffering, and he is suffering in silence”

edgeworth: been there, done that!

blackquill: BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

ya sure put a lot of stock in Sadmad, Dhurke. i mean i guess he’s your son but seriously; if you're a proper rebel you’d cut your losses and get on with shit already with or without him

...y’know, this speech about lawyers being like dragons kind of doesn’t have the same emotion impact and gravitas that the non-dragon one in T&T did.

oh how... charming...

*America’s* badge is shaped like a sunflower... and Kooraheen’s is shaped like a buggy eye.

YARGH

dont DO that

your voice is BAD

“he’s my son! therefor he has to believe in the same thing as me! nothing, not even torture could have changed him!”

cue Gredgeworth’s awkward cough from the afterlife.

“You know, I remember when Nahyuta and I were kids, he used to say with great pride ‘I have the blood of a dragon in me!’”

cue tiny apollo feeling left out and alone because he doesn’t know what kind of blood is in him

>reform court system

>rescue son

well... i guess there could be worse reasons to start a revolution.

“I mean, what are fathers for?!”

( ‘I... I wouldn’t know...’)

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, GAME

ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK MY HEART

YOU CAN’T GIVE APOLLO ALL THESE EMOTIONS WHEN YOU’RE ALSO SHAFTING HIS ASS AT THE SAME TIME

SHAME ON YOU

HE HAS A BROKEN ARM

HOWS HE GONNA SWIM

oh its high tide yay

oh it’s... really high tide

wow.

well this is fun. i daresay id really like this sequence... if it wasn’t in this game.

“oh no... the water might carry me up to the way out of here... how awful.”

lol can you imagine if this was timed tho

oh hey it’s the DD panic panic song. i liked that one. it deserves its spot in the suspense music roster.

y’know at this point i kinda hope he really just dies

wouldn’t that be a kicker

not that i hate apollo or anything but I'm just............... so tired

apollo’s pretty calm for a drowning person

i’ve nearly suffocated before and the only thing going through my head was AIR AIR AIR GET AIR GET AIR GET AIR AIR AIR

baby apollo: waahhhh!!! we’re both perfectly dry!!! the artist didn’t bother to make us look wet in the flashback!

A) Little Apollo doesn’t even call Dhurke “Daddy” or “Papa” despite being raised by him since infant hood, possibly meaning Dhurke gave him the ‘You’re adopted” speech pretty early. Or else kids that “aren’t really my son” have to go by name basis. See? Nahyuta calls him father.

B) Haha! Boys don’t cry, not-son! Suck those sissy tears back up into your skull, or you’ll look gay! It doesn’t matter that you’re like five and you almost drowned to death! Don’t embarrass me!

“Don’t ever hesitate to call when you need me”

oh but apollo your ass gets shipped back to america tomorrow ok

no seriously. on one hand; why did apollo get sent away? why couldn’t he be a rebel alongside nahyuta and fight for his family? on the other hand, why didn’t dhurke send nahyuta with him? if apollo’s going away because it’s dangerous, why is nahyuta staying with dhurke in the path of danger?

to be honest I'm ashamed that I'm crying, but it’s less about this scene being sad as fuck and more about the fact that I know that none of this is ever really resolved. Dhurke is still a piece of shit who made no attempt to contact apollo for years until he needed a favour out of him. and Apollo has to live with this stupid backstory because ESHIRO thought it would be dramatic and cool. Apollo’s going to “go home”, leave the series... He doesn’t even know he’s leaving his last scrap of real family who gives a shit about him behind in America.

Apollo doesn’t deserve this.

Dhurke, with superman theme playing in the background: Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Though only a heartless, shithead person, would leave you behind to die! So this isn’t great.

...is he holding him in his broken arm

wait is that arm even broken

has he just been holding it like it’s in a sling for no reason this whole time

“Still can’t swim, eh?”

oh fuck off

“Good thing your name’s not Neptune, hahahaha!”

A) OH FUCK OFF

B) NEPTUNE IS A SEA GOD, HE’D ACTUALLY BE RESISTANT TO WATER

WHOA FUCK HOLY SHIT

vore machine came out of nowhere and oh

also he is also laughing at a guy who almost drowned

well aren’t these two just the greatest men on earth huh

Trucy: :) lets make this drowning thing seem like no big deal by playing it off and not even asking if you're okay at all :))))

great... now he owes his life to him.... that completely cancels out every other piece of baggage.....

remember........ when edgeworth owed his life to phoenix......... remember how he was 100% okay after that and not fucked up at all................ remember how he just popped back into the series without any changes whatsoever apart from being phoenix’s friend again........................................

“GLAD TO SEE YOURE NOT CRYING SON; IM GLAD YOU GREW UP INTO THE EMOTIONALLY STUNTED MAN I ALWAYS WANTED, EVEN WITHOUT MY STELLAR PARENTAL GUIDANCE! THAT LONELY ORPHANAGE MUST HAVE TOUGHENED YOU UP GOOD! HAH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”

y’know in the interim i was thinking

Rebel Apollo would be great. he’d probably be an enormous goofus but at least he’d be happy and maybe Dhurke’s shitty plan would get off the ground because an actual smart person would be part of the team.

listen to that fuckin “we solved the case” music.

(sigh)

at least apollo is eating.

Turnabout Revolution... End

heh i wish

“Sure wish Nahyuta was here”

I don’t.

you fucking morons. you colossal fucking asshats. i knew this was coming

Dhurke: DURR LETS TALK ABOUT THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IN A PLACE WHERE WE KNOW THE GUY WHO WANTS THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IS! WHATS A STEALTH????

This is why the revolution has taken 20 FCKIN YEARS to take off. Because Dhurke and his band of nincompoops are all incompetent fuckwits.

huh i can see where Nahyuta gets his magic clap from.

also say it you loser say bitch

say bitch

A) If the “crystal” is a fake thing, his police report probably wouldn’t check out cause I'm P sure that people can’t just file police reports for anything without proof of previously owning it.

B) Dhurke. You’re a rebel. Shoot someone. Throw a smoke bomb. Gently jog away? Idk if that works in America but it sure as hell works in Kooraheen.

no. don’t do it. don’t you fucking do––

oh, i just saw a ghost.

The ghost of the potential any sequels past AJ had. It blinked at me sorrowfully before CAPCOM busted it and crammed it into the Containment Unit.

(sigh) Ok (most likely) fake shit aside, that would make Atishon related to Maya, and the “heirloom” would more probably be Maya’s. Why is this excuse present at all anyway it’s stupid.

Apollo it shouldn’t fuckin matter; it’s a court case. Just prove the orb isn’t the Crystal of Ami Fey and you win the case. You know that Phoenix doesn’t cheat and you’re pretty certain that the crystal really is the Founder’s Orb, so you shouldn’t be upset about anything. This isn’t a murder trial, it’s a dispute over ownership of an item. You know you’re in the right, so you ought to be able to win the trial. There’s literally no stakes apart from the fact that you’re facing your boss... but so what? That can happen... I assume, I’m not versed in that sort of thing. But either way, lawyers sometimes have to face off against each other... it happens. You had to face Nahyuta. Now you face Phoenix. Unless you think Phoenix will cheat, or that you don’t have sufficient info on the orb, then there’s legitimately no fucking problem. I mean yeah, sucks to go to court, but who gives a fuck? Win the trial and skip back to Kooraheen to overthrow the oppressive regime.

I don’t

what is the fucking problem

one of you gets payed, you both work at the same place

it doesn’t matter

APOLLO. You KNOW his methods. You know that he wins because his clients are innocent, and would graciously hand over victory if it was clear you were in the right; YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS. YOU’RE HIS BIGGEST FAN, REMEMBER??

Unless you think he’d fucking cheat for a skeezy politician for money in which case, nice. Gotta love that trust and belief that DD was building up there.

“Can I do it? Can I fight him?” YES ITS NOT EVEN A MURDER TRIAL

“May the best attorney win”

well so much for finding the truth or whatever. Also Phoenix should be proud that Apollo is willing to go up against him; it shows he’s coming into his own. There’s literally no reason for them to be on shit terms right now.

“A fine mess I’ve gotten you into, son.”

Hey shithead that wasn’t an apology. Also yeah, go on and on about how good a lawyer Phoenix is just to scare Apollo. Brilliant.

“The first step of your revolution, huh?”

The first step. 20 years and he’s only just taking the first step. Not the first step to the end of the revolution; the first step to the revolution itself.

Welp, we’re off to fight over the possession of an oversized marble in court. Seeya next time i guess...

#ooc #sulking over SOJ #soj spoilers #soj spoilers obvs]#things we've learned today: Dhurke Sadmahdi is a lazy insensitive incompetent pieceof shit

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longlistshort · 7 years ago

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Protomartyr- Don’t Go To Anacita

Things to do in Los Angeles this weekend (3/8-3/11/18)-

Thursday

Son Lux are playing at The Regent Theater with Gordi and Wills opening

Photographer Matthew Rolston will be discussing his exhibition Art People: The Pageant Portraits at Ralph Pucci in Hollywood, with arts writer and editor Katya Tylevich. RSVP here

Darlingside are playing at The Echo with Henry Jamison opening

Grammy award winning musical director of the LA Opera, James Conlon will be discussing his recent collaboration with the Joffrey Ballet, and making the mythology of Orpheus and Eurydice modern at the Hammer Museum

Holly Miranda is playing a free show at Zebulon

LACMA is having a free screening of Lean on Pete starring Steve Buscemi with a conversation with writer/director Andrew Haigh to follow

No Age are playing an all ages show at Highland Park Ebell

Palm are playing at the Echoplex with The Spirit of the Beehive and Jerkagram opening

Friday

ArtNight Pasadena returns with a night of free museums, performances, music, and more- with free shuttles to take you around

Moaning are having a record release party at The Echo with Froth and Numb.er opening

Union Station is hosting Josh Nelson & The Discovery Project’s multi-disciplinary artistic collaboration and presentation- combining video, performance art, light and art installations with his original music (free)

ICA LA‘s event Art Buzz, is a happy hour tour of the exhibition Skip Arnold: Truffle Hunt followed by “libations and tastings” (free but RSVP)

Orb, Flat Worms, and Hooveriii are playing at Zebulon

Ghostface Killah will be performing at the Echoplex’s 2ooos era Hip Hop Party-Echo Flex

Current Joys are playing with Celebrity Crush at Lodge Room

Saturday

Protomartyr are playing at the Teragram Ballroom with Shame and GLAARE opening

ICA LA is partnering with Crayon Collection to host a free all ages workshop with artist Pearl C. Hsiung focused on crayon creations

No Win and Luke Rathbone are opening for Criminal Hygiene at the Bootleg Theater

The Aero Theatre is playing a double feature of The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou and The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

The Wedding Present are playing at The Echo with Terry De Castro opening

Saturday and Sunday

To celebrate the 50th Anniversary of the East LA Walkouts, Fowler Museum along with the Chicano Studies Research Center will have two days of free programming- on Saturday there will be a speaker’s program with Walkout participants and scholars and on Sunday there will be screenings of the 1995 documentary Taking Back the School, and the 2005 HBO film Walkout! with a Q +A to follow

Sunday

Artist Luchita Hurtado will be in conversation with Hans Ulrich Obrist at Los Angeles Municipal Art Gallery (LAMAG)- free but RSVP (1pm with light refreshments at 2pm)

MOCA Community Day at The Geffen Contemporary at MOCA will include activities, performances and two panels with artists and activists- one discussing Art as Transformation and the other Envisioning a Different Framework- both focusing on LA’s homelessness crisis. Free but bring white tube socks to donate.

Bootleg Theater is hosting Lancaster- jazz music by Eric Revis, Jeff Parker, Joshua White and Guillermo Brown

Hibou are playing the Echoplex with Death Bells, Floating Room, and Alien Boy

Haunted Summer are playing at the Moroccan Lounge with Alyeska and Gold Casio opening

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topinforma · 8 years ago

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9 Amazing Airbnb Vacation-Rental Properties That Cost Less Than a Hotel

If you’re looking for unique accommodations, Airbnb has a wide variety of places that are sure to be more interesting than a cookie-cutter hotel room. Check out these crazy accommodations to get a taste of the kind of quirky properties available through Airbnb.

See Also on Kiplinger: 11 Satellite Cities Poised to Thrive in 2017

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1. The Seashell House, Isla Mujeres, Mexico

The Seashell House, or “Casa Caracol,” is a property on Isla Mujeres, an island just off the coast of Cancun. For just over $300 a night, you’ll feel like you’re sleeping inside a giant, immaculate white seashell.

This two-bedroom, cliffside home was designed by Raquel and Eduardo Ocampo, and its unique design is something of a local attraction. According to the listing, passers-by sometimes try to peep over the fence to catch a glimpse of the place. (See also on WiseBread.com: 5 Cities Where Airbnb Is Way Cheaper Than a Hotel)

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2. Famous treehouse outside of Atlanta

If you want a whimsical escape from the realities of adult life, there are a surprising number of tree houses for rent on Airbnb. In fact, the site has a whole wish list devoted just to tree houses.

This treehouse in Atlanta goes for $375 a night and it’s been named Airbnb’s number one most wished-for listing worldwide. No wonder it was featured on the Animal Planet show, “Treehouse Masters: Ultimate Treehouse IV.”

A cheaper (but just as dreamy) alternative is this treehouse in Andalucia, Spain for just $44 a night ($27 for each extra guest).

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3. Quirky cocoon in France’s Loire Valley

This listing is certainly something you don’t see every day: a cocoon perched amid nets in the trees of Fondettes, France, near the town of Tours.

Fashioned as a large nest, this tent-like orb ($132 a night) has a circular queen bed inside and looks to be an unforgettable way to spend the night. (See also on WiseBread.com: Does It Make Sense to Stay in a Hotel Anymore?)

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4. Converted train depot in Vermont

In Putney, Vermont, this historic train depot is now accepting guests from Airbnb. The whole one-bedroom depot is yours from $81 a night. The Connecticut River is just a few minutes’ walk away, with nearby hiking, biking, and cross-country skiing in the winter. Even closer are the railroad tracks that this depot would’ve served in the past, so you’ll have to put up with the sound of passing trains three or four times a day. Be sure to bring your earplugs!

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5. Houseboat in Amsterdam

What better way to experience Amsterdam, a city of canals, than by staying on a houseboat? This modern houseboat is listed at $141 a night and includes your own private studio in the bow of the boat.

The owner, Sonja, custom-built the interior of the boat and now she’s sharing this dream with her Airbnb guests. It’s sure to be a novel experience to recount when you get back home.

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6. John Steinbeck’s writer’s studio

Maybe you can get your creative writing juices flowing with a stay at this 1920s cottage owned by John Steinbeck in the early 1940s when he was writing “The Log from the Sea of Cortez.” The home has been renovated to pay tribute to that period. If you’re planning a stay in Pacific Grove, California this cottage looks to be cute and cozy, not to mention having an interesting history.

See Also on Kiplinger: 11 Great Ways to Spend or Invest $10,000

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7. Out of this world in Taos, New Mexico

This listing’s title says it all: “Brand-new Studio Earthship” is an otherworldly home located just outside Taos. Built into the side of a hill, this place offers an experience in off-the-grid living for those wanting to try something a little different.

The house is completely self-sustaining, with a rainwater catchment and electricity that is generated on-site. But don’t let that scare you off. The house comes complete with all the modern amenities, including Wi-Fi, Netflix, and a high-efficiency washing machine. It lists for $125 a night. (See also on WiseBread.com: 10 Vacation Rental Alternatives to Airbnb)

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8. Indoor camping in Antwerp, Belgium

Try out “indoor camping” in Antwerp with these remodeled, luxuriously decorated caravans (free-standing campers) for $38 a night. The caravans are inside a theater and performance space that you’re welcome to use during your stay in the caravans. You can even book an Argentine tango class.

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9. Container home in Balearic Islands, Spain

Container homes and other small-scale living spaces have been gaining popularity recently. Try it out first hand for $155 a night in this completely remodeled home made from shipping container modules in Palma de Mallorca.

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This property sleeps three, and while the inside space is limited, it does come with a wood terrace and small outdoor pool. The minimal design is sleek and not a square inch of space is wasted.

This article is from Amanda Gokee of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website.