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shockingshinx12-shinx · 1 day ago

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AAAAAAAA Thank you so much for using this prompt!! I'm smiling at this so sweetly

I can't wait to read this!!

Questions for the Substitute Teacher

The new Substitute teacher is weird—like really weird—and Liam and his class are dead-set on figuring out what his deal is. Based on the excellent prompt by @shockingshinx12-shinx: Mr. Lancer works as a sub during his semi-retirement. He's long since moved out of Amity, but has some pretty wild stories to share, or some weird off-the-cuff comments and mannerisms that make no sense to the local culture of this new town. His new students have opinions on all this, and there's many rumors surrounding this strange substitute…

Words: 1,643

Can be read on AO3!

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“Hey,” Liam said as he slumped into the seat next to Nathalie. “What do you think of our new History sub?”

Nathalie looked up from her phone and raised an eyebrow. “Mr. Lancer?”

“Yeah! Isn't he…” Liam trailed off as he searched for a word to describe their new eccentric teacher. He landed on a hesitant, “A bit weird?”

Nathalie shrugged. “I guess? We've only had him for one class.”

“But didn't you see when he gestured at nothing during reading time? He seemed to be having a whole conversation!”

Nathalie shook her head.

Liam groaned. “Well, I tell you! He’s weird. Maybe in this class you can see what I—”

Nathalie elbowed him in the side and Liam groaned as Nathalie hissed, “Shh! He’s coming!”

And true to her words, in walked Mr. Lancer himself. In all his bald, gray bearded, and beer-bellied glory. “Alright, class, settle down.”

Liam sat down at his desk, settling in and deciding to wait for Mr. Lancer to do something strange OR for Mr. Lancer to slip up.

He reached over and elbowed Nathalie and she rolled her eyes but put her phone down.

He didn’t have to wait for long.

A sudden bang and shout rang out in the classroom as someone tipped their chair over and fell to the floor. Almost at the same moment, Mr. Lancer jumped up and whipped out what looked like a very sci-fi looking gun. After a split second and a scan of the room, he relaxed and lowered the weapon back down, seemingly ignoring all the wide eyed stares locked on him. He gave a small chuckle. “Moby Dick! That scared me!”

“Is that a gun?!” Liam screeched and several of his classmates joined in the chorus of panic.

Mr. Lancer waved them all off, with the gun in hand no less. Students threw themselves to the side or to the floor to avoid being in front of it. “It's an ecto-gun, completely harmless to humans.”

Liam didn’t want to ask, but damn it all, he was too curious. “... So what does it harm?”

“Ghosts,” Mr. Lancer said immediately, without shame.

Liam leaned over towards Nathalie and whispered. “Is he joking?”

Nathalie looked a bit pale. “I don’t know. I’m still stuck on the fact that he has a gun.”

“I promise it’s not dangerous. Look!” And then Mr. Lancer pointed the gun at his own left hand and pulled the trigger.

The classroom that had managed to calm down slightly exploded back into chaos.

“Holy shit! You just shot yourself!”

“Call the nurse!

“No! Call an ambulance!”

Mr. Lancer, still with a very calm look on his face, just lifted his hand, now covered in green goo and said, “I’m fine. It’s just ectoplasm.”

Everyone stopped and stared at him.

Mr. Lancer looked at his own hand and then wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Oh, this is gonna be a pain to wipe off. Does someone have a napkin?”

Nathalie silently reached into her bag and pulled out a packet of napkins.

“Thank you,” Mr. Lancer said as he took the offered package. “I don’t need all of them, though.”

She shook her head, eyes on the green goop on his hand. “Keep them.”

Liam couldn’t keep silent any longer, almost vibrating out of his seat as he asked, “Did you say ectoplasm? Like the thing ghosts are made of?”

Mr. Lancer seemed delighted by his question. “So you know about that? I have to admit I’m not really sure what’s common knowledge. Yes. Like ghosts are made of.”

“No way that’s real ectoplasm.” Liam knew for a fact that scientists were still debating whether ectoplasm even existed or not. There was no way that their History substitute teacher just had it on him. Even more strange, why would a History teacher have it in a gun? “Why do you have a gun that shoots supposed ectoplasm?”

Mr. Lancer wiped off his hand as if it wasn’t covered in fluorescent goo, as if he’d done it a million times before, and ignored Liam to say, “Well then. No more delays. Open your books to page 116.”

Liam slumped back in his seat, knowing an evasive maneuver when he saw it. Heard it. Whatever.

The rest of the class crawled past; Liam doing his best to focus and failing miserably. Like usual. After he failed to answer a few of the questions and found himself staring emptily at his notebook for the majority of the class, Liam was ready to just go home.

And apparently, he hadn’t been so lucky that Mr. Lancer had missed his lapse in attention. As they reached the end of the class, the dreaded words were spoken; “Liam? Can you stay a bit after class?”

Liam tensed and Nathalie sent him a sympathetic look before the rest of the class all filed out.

Mr. Lancer cleared his throat and offered Liam a smile. “I can see that you're struggling a bit with the schoolwork. Are you having trouble at home? Out hunting ghosts?”

Liam blinked in surprise. That… was not what he had expected to hear. “No?”

Mr. Lancer nodded and then seemed to think for a moment before landing on, “Do you need any extra help?”

Well, if he was offering. It would be nice to have some extra time to hand in assignments. And he had promised himself to try and stand up for himself more, to be kinder to himself. Liam straightened his shoulders and said, “I wish that—”

Mr. Lancer cut in with a panicked, “No wishes in my classroom!”

“What?” Liam blinked his eyes in confusion. “Why?”

“You never know if she's listening.”

Well. That’s not ominous at all. “Who?!”

“Oh right. No ghosts.” Mr. Lancer cleared his throat. “I just don’t… Like? Wishes?”

“Oh.” Liam didn’t know what to say to that. “Sorry?”

“That’s okay,” Mr. Lancer said easily. “Now. What were you saying?”

“Right… Eh. Maybe I can get some extension on the next deadline? I have ADHD and some extra time would be a huge help.”

Mr. Lancer didn’t even hesitate before nodding. “Yes, that’s no problem. Thank you for telling me.”

Huh. Mr. Lancer was actually really nice. Liam left the classroom feeling slightly shocked. He’d never had a teacher just agree to help him, no argument needed.

Nathalie was waiting for him outside the classroom. As soon as he got out she went over to him with a worried expression. “Are you okay? What did he want?

“To know if I hunt ghosts in my spare time.”

Liam had to admit, it was satisfying to see Nathalie blinked in obvious confusion. She slowly asked, as if afraid of the answer, “And why would he ask you that?”

Liam shrugged with a grin. “Apparently that’s a more likely cause for not paying attention than simply having ADHD.”

“Really?” Nathalie asked and Liam felt gratified by the small smile of incredulity growing on her face.

“Yeah. But he also gave me some extra time for the next deadline, no problem, so I think he’s actually nice?”

“So you don’t think he’s strange anymore?”

Liam gasped in fake outrage. “I’m insulted! Of course I will!”

“Good,” Nathalie said with a nod, “Look what I found.” And then she held her phone for him to see.

Liam grabbed it and frowned down at the screen and the web page of what looked like a small US town that was pulled up on it. Green lettering and pixelated pictures made it look old and tacky. “What is this?”

“I looked him up while you were in there talking,” Nathalie said, not able to disguise the pleased tone of her voice, “This is the town he’s from.”

Liam scrolled to the top of the page and read the town name. “Amity Park? Never heard of it.”

“Me neither. Look at their slogan.”

“America’s most haunted town. Really?!” Liam was delighted. Ecstatic. He looked up and met Nathalie’s equally sparkling eyes.

“You think he worked in the tourism industry? Still getting some money on the side to spread the rumor?”

“It must be a bit, right? Some weird humor from his home-town?”

“I think he's crazy,” Nathalie said dreamily. As if a crazy teacher would be the height of their school-year. It probably would.

“Let’s find out.”

—

Before the next class, the whole class was abuzz with tension and raised voices. Several students talked over each other as they waited for Mr. Lancer to show up.

“I think he's from area 51.”

“Yeah, I agree. He's clearly an alien trying to blend in and mixing up reality and fiction.”

“No, I think he worked there! He's been there for so long he doesn't know what normal life's like anymore.”

“No, no, I think he's a ghost. That's why he keeps bringing them up.”

“Ghosts aren't real!”

“Guys. He’s clearly just messing with us.”

“Who is messing with who?” A voice asked from the door and Liam turned with a big grin, expecting to find Mr. Lancer. But there was Mr. Johnson, their regular History teacher.

Liam cast about for the other man. “Where is Mr. Lancer?”

Mr. Johnson raised an eyebrow as he started setting up. “Probably at another school or at home. Why?”

Liam deflated. Right substitute teacher. “No reason.”

That’s what they got for getting excited. Liam sighed. School had never seemed so dull. He turned to Nathalie and moaned, “It’s like he was never here. Maybe he was a ghost after all,” he ended a bit dreamily.

Nathalie gave him a short glance from where she was staring at her phone. “Nah, I saw him outside Starbucks on the way to class, talking to a white haired guy about green dogs? So he seems to be alive and kicking.”

Liam slumped deeper in his chair. “Oh joy.”

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