#Dan and Phil Martyn & Cornelia fic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

flighty37-blog · 7 years ago

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Well I’ve Had Just Enough Time

Summary: Something goes terribly wrong. Who would’ve thought it? Dan and Phil. Some specter is after all the males in Dan’s life, and he’s next. Something has to be done. Phil dies of unusual (to his nature) circumstances. Dan’s father and brother, (Adrian)disappear, Martyn, (Phil’s brother) is committed. And Dan is running scared. Horror/drama/supernatural. **

Major and minor character deaths, mentions of slitting wrists. Dying. Death. Bleeding out.

Disclaimer I wrote this before the London Bridge Tragedy, and I apologise if, some people think I’m disrespecting it. I am not. I love London, and one day, I hope to see it in its full glory. In real Life HD.

So it ends:

This was it. The last straw. The end of it all.

The empire of awkwardness had thoroughly crumbled. The era had ended. It was over. It was finished. Things were spiraling. A pale hand drew the lapel of the coat closer to his neck. The scarf was doing nothing against the biting wind. The air was thick with fog. Welcome to London. The boots scraped against the cobblestones. So what if the city roads were mostly asphalt, but the cobblestones remained from a different time.

A different place.

His breath excreted hot air that spun about his head in icy puffs. Let the wind blow. Let whatever deities that were around, if there were any, take him now. Please.

“Go on! Take Me! Do IT!” He screamed into the night air, his arms now outstretched and he looked up at the unforgiving sky; it hid the stars and the moon. It hid everything except for the twinkling lights in the houses. Houses that were full of happiness, of joy.

There was no joy in the maisonette.

There was nothing but anger and sorrow. Anger over something stupid. Sorrow over something that could have been repaired if they weren’t so hot headed, so stubborn. So full of regret now.

But it could never be repaired, Phil was dead. He had cut his wrists and he’d bled out. Phil was gone. Dan had carried his limp, lifeless body downstairs and had called the ambulance, and the funeral home. They had taken his body away hours ago. They had asked him about arrangements for the funeral.

But no. He couldn’t think about that now. He had to cleanse himself from any sins, from every sin. Which is hard to do when you’re an atheist. Agnostic, he corrected himself.

Whatever he believed in, he alternately disbelieved in. That’s how it worked didn’t it?

“Take me you idiots. Take me! I deserve to go. The writers always kill Phil off first, and then I do myself in. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? Isn’t he supposed to come back as a vampire? Isn’t he supposed to melt into goo when Harry Styles exits his body?

Isn’t that the way Fuckin’ Fanfiction Works?! Assholes!”

He’d looked behind him, just in case Phil had become the first undead in history. It’d be just like Phil to become an undead, it’d be in his nature. He bowed his head against the wind that was furiously blowing. The trees were bowing, and swaying. They were mourning a life that was gone too soon. What had happened that Phil would just take his life?

Phil. The one full of energy. The one full of light. The one whose eyes sparkled when he ate ice cream, when he got chased by a squirrel. Whenever he would entertain Dan.

“Fuck Life!” Dan said, as he steered himself towards London Bridge. He knew it’d be busy. But he didn’t care.

Let him get hit by a damned car. Let all the fanfictions come true. He’d get hit by a car, eaten by a wolf. Be decapitated somehow. He’d jump off the bridge if none of the above happened. He steadily walked on the pedestrian’s side of the bridge. Head still bowed, mouth open breathing out the breath he still had left. Kicking small pebbles out of the way.

“Fuck You!!!!” Dan yelled against the torturous wind. It wasn’t like it couldn’t snow at any time. But snow wasn’t in the forecast. “Neither was Phil dying. Phil’s suicide wasn’t in the cards. He was only thirty….” Dan’s voice trailed off.

He had debated on whether he should inform the rest of the family about Phil’s passing and he pulled out his phone. He’d call his second mother.

‘“Cath?” His voice shook.

“Daniel?” Her voice was in the concerned range now. Then it would escalate to anger, and then sadness.

“I have some bad news,” Dan gulped.

“What is it? Is it Phil?” Catherine asked.

“Yeah. I mean, yes. Mrs. Lester, it is my regret to inform you that, Philip Michael Lester committed suicide by slitting his wrists earlier this morning. I’ve called the local funeral home, and his body is there for the moment. Mummy, I need you,” Dan completely broke down.

He’d never called Catherine ‘Mummy’, not even in jest. The anguished cry that fell upon his ears made Dan pull away from the receiver.

“He’s not!” Catherine said….Denial. “He can’t be.” Uncertainty. “No he isn’t! God please don’t let it be.” Bargaining.

“Mum?” Dan’s voice broke through to her.

“I’m coming. Call Martyn,” Catherine said decidedly.

“I don’t think I can. Cornelia’s the only one at their flat. Martyn’s been taken to the local mental institution. She said he was going absolutely, stark raving, mad. It hit him all of a sudden, and then Phil….” Dan gulped again.

“Phil….He wasn’t acting like himself. He’d been, he was doing...God I don’t remember. It’s all a blur. And I think I have it now. This, this, this overwhelming desire to, do something bad. Something I know that will hurt me and others around me. I don’t want to be like this Mum,” Dan said again.

“Where are you?” Catherine asked.

“London’s Bridge,” Dan said.

“The London’s Bridge?” Catherine’s voice wobbled, but she wanted to make sure of his location. She couldn’t lose him too. It was her duty as his surrogate mother, to keep him safe.

“Yeah,” Dan said, his voice getting slower and thicker.

“Don’t do anything rash. I’ll ring your mother,” Catherine said.

“But….I don’t….I tried ringing her. She’s not answering. Neither is my father. Neither is Adrian. But Adrian never answers his phone….” Dan’s voice trailed off once again.

“Go to somewhere warm. Go to a pub,” Catherine pleaded.

“I can’t. It won’t let me,” Dan said.

“What won’t let you?” Catherine asked.

“He won’t let me. He’s followed me. He’s controlling my movements, where I go.... He’s not a ‘he’ in the normal sense of things….He….It’s….I’m….” He swung a leg over the rampart of the bridge. Then the other leg followed suit until he was seated and overlooking the Thames River.

“I have to go Catherine. He’s calling me. Tell my mother, tell Dad, tell Nigel, tell everyone that I love, goodbye for me. I’ll leave my phone on the bridge part….” His voice was gone. Caught up in the wind.

The water looked so inviting, its liquid swirling a bit, steam rising from frothy pools.

“I’ll go and join Phil. He needs me. I’m his friend….” Dan was dazed. He was slurring his words.

“Daniel? Daniel?!” Catherine’s voice only slightly penetrated Dan’s hazy brain.

“No, it’s too late. They’re both calling to me. I’ve got….I’m going….I love you all!” Dan was just about to jump when something grabbed the back of his arm, lurching him off of the bridge.

It was a policeman. “Young man, what are you doing on this bridge? You know it’s illegal to be up here,” the policeman kindly said.

“You don’t understand officer. I have to. He’s told me I have to. I’ve got to join Phil, and my….and the others. He’s said so,” Dan babbled.

“Come along,” the officer frog marched him to the waiting car. But Dan wriggled out of the grip, and made a beeline for the bridge again.

“No!” Dan shouted. He looked beyond the officer, and saw ‘Him’.

“Come Daniel….Join us….I have Phil….He’s waiting for you….” The specter said. “

What’s your name?” Dan breathed in and out irregular breaths. He put his hand over his heart.

“I am the one you summoned for your video. The one called ‘Him’....or Geoffery if you would prefer to put a mortal name on myself,” ‘Geoffery’ answered.

“Jeffery, you know with a ‘J’,” Dan managed. He didn’t notice the police officer scratching his head, and calling for backup.

“Jump Daniel. It’s not so far. All you’ve feared will be laid to rest once you’ve given up the mortal coil,” The specter said in a soft lilting, melodic tone.

“Philip listened. He’s waiting for you,” The tone became scathing, almost angry.

The bony finger pointed at the bridge. The tattered cape blowing in the breeze. But this breeze around him was hot, and smelled of sulfur. Dan wrinkled his nose at the smell. He regained his spot on the bridge, the cold wind blowing the back of his head, his hair blowing, and then he saw Phil’s face in the water.

“Hi Dan, it’s okay. Don’t fight it anymore. I’m lonely without you….” Phil’s voice and face faded away.

“Phil! No!” Dan scrambled down the side of the bridge, hanging by one hand above the river, the river became frothier, it swirled in zigzag patterns, and there was a slight whirlpool in a corner somehow.

The wind picked up and began a howling so fierce, it brought even more fear to him.

Just then a hand reached out and pulled him onto the bridge again. This time he was in a kneeling position and someone had ensconced themselves around him, caressing his head, talking soothingly to him.

“Daniel….Sweet sweet child,” she said. “I’m here,” she continued.

“C-Catherine?” His teeth were chattering now. He was so cold, so empty. Nothing meant anything anymore.

“It’s me. Your mother is waiting….Something’s happening to the men, and she’s beside herself. We’ll save you Love,” Catherine promised.

“Nobody can save me. Jeffery, he wants me. Phil….Phil’s all alone. Phil’s cold. Phil’s never cold! Martyn….Martyn left Cornelia….What’s happening? Make it stop Catherine….Make it stop...Please?” He pleaded. His vision was so clouded, he couldn’t see straight.

“I’ll bring you to your mum’s,” Catherine said.

“Where’s Adrian? Where’s my dad?” Dan was trying to come to his senses.

“Susan doesn’t know. She went out for a bit of milk, and when she came back your father and he, they were gone. No note. Nothing,” Catherine helped the young man to his feet.

“Jeffery’s got them. They’re not coming back either….Phil, Phil was raging and then he went into the bathroom, not the loo….The bathroom. He found a razor. He-He-He cut his wrists, he bled out before I could get the door open. The door wasn’t even locked. Something was keeping him in. I couldn’t get to him Catherine. I tried! And when I could get to him….He was gone! The light was gone!” He trembled as they walked to the waiting taxi.

His knees buckling underneath him. “I’m going soon too. I won’t be here any longer. He’s taking us all. You and Mum, you’ll be all alone. I’m s-sorry,” Dan gulped. His breathing became sharp,and his chest constricted.

“I-I can’t help it. He’ll be here. Soon. He’ll catch up with me….With us….He wants revenge. He wants what’s owed to him. And he knows how to get it. He wants me,” Dan leaned against her. Using his whole body, pushing against her. Needing her. But trying to protect her at the same time.

“If….IF…..Someone’s got to tell our audiences,” Dan finally spoke lucidly. At least for a moment.

“Please save your strength. We’ll be at your mother’s house soon as we can. Try and sleep Sweetie,” Catherine soothed.

“How did you get here so fast? The Isle of Man is so far,” Dan slurred.

“I was already in the city,” Catherine said.

“But how?” Dan was demanding. He was also tired, and he glanced out the window. The reflection was distorted. And then ‘His’ face appeared, and then Phil’s face flashed before him. Then Martyn’s face, then his dad’s face, then it was Adrian. Then it began to loop.

He quickly shut his eyes.

“What you’ve been through….” Catherine started.

“He wants me. He won’t stop no matter how hard we try. I need you and Mum to go online and tell our audience. Tell them we went the best way we knew how, to end the torment. To sacrifice ourselves so that our loved ones can live,” Dan said, as he blinked his eyes, trying to adjust his sight.

He felt as if, he was going blind now. Grief, terror, filling every fiber of his being. She wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could, whilst urging the driver to drive faster, to get them to their destination quicker.

“I’m going as fast as I can. Traffic’s a bit of a trial,” the man bit off the expletive before it could be aired out. He was in the presence of a lady after all.

“Thank you. That’s all I ask,” Catherine turned her attention back to Dan.

“Daniel?” It was so strange to say his full name. He’d been ‘Dan’ for so long, but he’d grown up as well. He wasn’t eighteen anymore. Though he’d always be eighteen in her eyes. That was the age she’d adopted him after all.

“Yes?” He responded, he only responded to Daniel now.

“Daniel, we’re almost there. You rest against me, and I’ll wake you when we’re there,” Catherine soothed.

“Alright, and I’m sorry for calling you Mummy,” Dan said.

“You were, are, in panic mode. You’re grieving. I understand, and I’m glad you at least got through to me. Though your mother is worried sick. She said she never received any phone calls from you,” Catherine continued.

‘Tha’s b’cause He blocked them,” Dan’s voice was slurring again, as he drifted off into an uneasy slumber.

“Shhh….” She patted his head, and shifted so he would be more comfortable.

They made it to Reading in record time, and a lot of money out of pocket. Catherine didn’t mind. Though she was on a frugal budget. Getting Daniel to safety was her top priority; not only as a friend but as his adoptive mother. Susan didn’t mind ‘sharing custody’ of Daniel.

She quite enjoyed the friendly rivalry of hers and Catherine’s ‘mothering techniques ’. Though Catherine was more ‘home centered’, Susan was business centered, letting her children ‘fend for themselves’ more often than not. Not being there all the time. But she wasn’t cold or heartless. She was warm and inviting in her own way.

Not exactly standoffish, but she was reserved. Catherine cracked the jokes, Catherine made the small talk. But Susan would keep up her end of the conversations, filling in the gaps wherever necessary. Susan was a mother, just a different kind of mother. But when her boys were hurting, if they ever needed anything, she was always there to lend a motherly hand.

She met them at the door, as Catherine stumbled, half supporting, half walking with Daniel, Susan took Daniel’s other side and she supported them both the rest of the way inside the house. Her eyes were red rimmed, and Catherine went to make a pot of tea whilst Susan settled Daniel horizontally on the sofa bed. She’d covered him in a duvet, and put a load of pillows behind his head.

“You’re trembling Son,” Susan said.

“Because he’s coming. Like the Nothing in that television show,” Dan said, and his teeth continued chattering, though there was a roaring fire going on in the fireplace and he was covered in a warm duvet.

“Phil’s gone Mum,” Dan felt the tears roll down his cheeks, the ache was so real.

The weight on his chest made it hard for him to breathe correctly.

“He’s gone Mum, and I couldn’t save him!” Dan struggled to sit up.

But Susan gently and firmly pushed him back down again. “Save your strength,” Susan accidentally repeated what Catherine had told him earlier in the taxi.

“Sometimes you and Cath are so similar it’s a wonder you’re not bosom buddies as well,” Dan tried to joke, but ended up coughing instead.

“How do you know we’re not best friends?” Susan tried to joke back, to calm her eldest.

“Because you’re not. You’re always so busy. You’re always going on and on about the realtor business,” Dan retorted, his pulse slowing down finally as the fight or flight instinct drained away.

“We’re mothers. Sometimes mothers think alike. Strange but true. Sometimes mothers have a hidden psychic connection, and even if we don’t know about each other, we’re still the same. We’re put on this earth to love and protect our children. Like Catherine and I are trying to do now. Trying to save you,” Susan said, in an unusually long speech.

Catherine chose at this time to return with a tray of tea. Silently obeying the unspoken request to sit up, Dan sat upright and Catherine served him some tea and savoury biscuits.

His hand shook so much on the way to his mouth, that both mothers took a hold of his wrist and guided the biscuit to his mouth.

“Shall I steady the teacup?” Susan asked. Dan nodded, as tears spilled down his cheeks again. Suddenly his whole body stiffened, and like before at the bridge, he looked beyond the women.

��Did you miss me Daniel? I missed you. I see you’ve gotten back up. They won’t last long. They’re roadblocks to be sure, but I’ll be back to get you. You’re mine Daniel. Just like Philip; like Adrian, like your father, like Martyn, like Nigel….All mine. You’re next. You’re my trophy sacrifice. The reason they’re gone is because of you. It’s all your fault. Your time on earth is short. Say goodbye to the earth. Nothing can stop me,” the voice cackled and the specter was gone again.

The savoury biscuit dropped the teacup spilled across his knee, and Susan took the cup and saucer from him. Catherine took the biscuit. He was slumped against the sofa again. He was shaking again; shaking his head, and his lips were trembling.

“He came again. Didn’t you see him? Can’t you see that you can’t protect me?! I’m not getting out of here, unless I go with him. You two had better make yourselves scarce,” Dan weakly spoke.

Just then the phone rang. It was Cornelia. She was hysterical. Unusual for her. She was usually stoic, soft spoken.

“Catherine?” Her voice was shaking.

“Nikki?” Catherine put the phone on speaker so that Cornelia’s voice was heard by all.

“He’s come for me Catherine. Martyn’s come for me. He’s swinging a knife, and he’s going to kill me!” She shouted, and it sounded as if she were running for her life.

“Get out of the flat somehow. Come to us Nikki. We’re at Susan’s place. It’s a safe place,” Catherine pleaded.

“We’ll help you Cornelia,” Susan put in.

“I-I”m afraid. It’s not Martyn. It’s his body. It’s his face. It’s not Martyn. It’s evil. It’s giving me chills,” Cornelia said, as a squeaking noise sounded. Almost sounding as if a window were opening.

“I’m jumping down the fire escape. If I can outrun him, I’ll be there in half an hour….” Cornelia’s voice cut off, and the line went dead.

“Don’t you see? I have to get back to the bridge!” Dan stood and wobbled towards the door.

Two pairs of arms took him back to the sofa, and back under the duvet he went.

“I’m useless here. I’m better off dead! Don’t you Understand?!”

The fire whooshed, and it was soon out. A plume of smoke flew down the chimney morphing into a transparent specter with sharp nails, a face that was only an outline. Both women jumped.

“Did I Frighten You? Good. I’m Here For The Boy,” ‘He’ spoke.

Both women stood their ground, and formed a united barrier between the sofa and the horrible thing before them. “Then you’ll have to go through us first,” Catherine challenged.

“A mother’s love is unrivaled. Therefore the two of us can and will, defeat you,” Susan answered, as a feeling of anger overtook her, and she balled her hand into a threatening fist.

“You’ll have to do more than that to get me to back down. I’m ultimate power, more than you two weak humans are able to comprehend,” ‘Jeffery’ said.

“Leave my mums alone!” Dan was sat up again. He swung his legs over the side of the sofa, and with the most strength, as he could muster, he stood in front of the two most important people in his life.

“Take me. Spare them. Don’t take Martyn. I consent. Let Martyn be. Let Dad come back, let Adrian come back….Let...Let the others come back. Let Phil come back….” Dan’s voice wavered. But he was resolute.

“Tempting as your offer is, I don’t think I’ll let Philip come back. He’s mine fair and square. He’d chosen to take his own life,” ‘Jeffery’ answered, a couple of wispy fingers touching the outline of his chin.

“Not if he’d been in his right mind he wouldn’t have chosen that route. He’s Roman Catholic, and they believe that suicide is wrong. Me? I’m Agnostic. I’m a better choice. A better candidate,” Dan fired back.

“Pathetic,” ‘Jeffery’ scoffed.

“I’m offering my life for theirs. For each life you’ve taken,” Dan responded.

He was shaking with renewed energy and anger.

“I’m ready. I’ve been ready my whole life. I don’t have a soul. It’s a dark, barren wasteland in there. I’m sad. I’m dreary. Even though I’ve re-branded. It’s not enough. If I’m the sole human you need, to complete this….Whatever it is….Take Me You Asshole!”

“Not everything can be solved by a pathetic meat sack demanding something from me. I’m as old as time itself. I take what I want, when I want it. This standoff is a waste of my time….” ‘Jeffery’ smirked.

With a flick of the ancient’s wrist, Dan felt red hot liquid shoot through his entire being. He fell to his knees, and he gasped for the very last breath of air he could manage. As the enraged, and shocked mothers looked on, he crawled, haltingly towards the specter. The being seemed to be sucking the life essence out of him. The women were powerless, and had to stand to the wayside, as every last ounce of life was drained out of him. Dan’s body deflated, and he sagged into a lifeless mound.

“Tell them….I loved….Them….I….Love You!” Were his final words.

Then it was over. Finished. Had it really happened? Had things happened the way they’d just seen? So many questions. So little answers. A knock on the door sounded, and the fleshy mound disappeared into the floor. Sucked dry by the specter as it disappeared into the nothingness. Susan took a deep breath. Whatever was on the other side, it couldn’t be good.

Catherine went with her. Perhaps it would turn out to be good news? Side by side they walked to the door. Determined to fight some more if need be.

“If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed roses...Sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song, ….Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother she’ll know I’m safe with you, when she stands under my colours; and no life ain’t always what you think it ought to be… Ain’t even grey but she buries her baby….” A song was heard through the streets.

“I recognise this song. It’s American. But it’s fitting,” Catherine said, as she put a hand on the knob, Susan put hers on top and the door was flung open.

Cornelia was on the other side. She was breathless and had a bit of blood on her shirt.

“Cornelia, Darling,” Susan breathed out.

“Nikki!” Catherine buried her almost daughter into a hug.

“He’s gone,” Cornelia breathed out.

“Gone? How?” Susan asked.

“He just...He became slimy goop and disappeared into the ground,” Cornelia answered.

Then she continued, “Where’s Dan?”

The two women looked at the ground, then back up at the redhead, as they ushered her inside. They made her a cup of still piping hot tea.

“You’re hurt my Darling,” Catherine indicated the blood.

“Not mine,” Cornelia answered, as she shakily took a sip of the tea.

“His?” Susan ventured, as Cornelia slowly nodded, and focused on the far wall behind the two concerned women.

“They’re all gone. Aren’t they?” She whispered.

“I’m afraid so,” Susan said. “Then we’ve got to tell the world,” Cornelia decided.

“We’ve got to make sure that the Phans know. Soon it’ll spread word of mouth, internet to internet connection. This isn’t happy news,” Catherine decided.

“No it isn’t,” Cornelia pursed her lips and headed for Twitter first.

This would be the beginning of a whole new line of work. A work that two young men had started as a hobby; and three women would carry on. Though it wouldn’t be the exact same. They would make an effort, in memory of two nerds, who had dared to share their lives with the world.

Epilogue 2 years later:

“Well that’s about it. As far as I know we’ll be broadcasting on YouNow Thursdays and Tuesdays. Just as usual. We’re here for questions and answers, and of course Catherine and Susan will be doing their recipe-off. You know the one where they compete about who has the best recipe for the same meal,” Cornelia smiled into the camera.

She would do these ones alone, and then Tuesday she would trek to Susan’s house and they would go through recipes, and then on Thursday, they would FaceTime with Catherine and then would come the ultimate ‘Bake Off’ on YouNow, as the recipes were tested.

“For all of you loyal viewers out there we’ve got a poll on Twitter that you can cast your votes at. Goodbye My Little Swedish Meatballs!” Cornelia waved and blew a kiss at the camera.

She shut it off, and using Dan’s and Phil’s instructions, edited the video, then uploaded it. She took a small walk around the new flat. She couldn’t bear to be in hers and Martyn’s old flat, so she’d rented out a smaller flat. She took down a picture from the mantle and kissed it. She still loved him.

Just then a small bark caught her attention and a tiny Maltese yipped at her again.

“Come along Martie, I suspect you’re hungry,” Cornelia cradled the small dog in her arms and padded to the kitchen.

Things hadn’t gotten any easier. Bearable? Yes. Easier? No. She still missed him, missed them. But life still went on.

The End.

#Dan and Phil Martyn & Cornelia fic

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dramaphan · 3 years ago

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yeah cornelia read the fic and i think it was about dan or phil climbing into the other‘s tour bus bunk during the night because they missed each other (that sounds extremely uncomfortable) and martyn making fun of them or something like that

i wonder what cornelia‘s opinion was. did she like it? was it realistic? we will never know…

Thank god it was a normal goddamn fic and not something insane because can you imagine

#ask

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natigail · 4 years ago

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PEDIA is complete!

I have been ranting and ranting about this writing challenge all month but now I will finally stop posting about it because PEDIA is officially over! I posted for 31 days straight - 5 one shots and 6 chaptered works. We have landed on a total of 289.1k words posted in August, which is 9.2k posted daily on average. It is insanity but I am so proud of myself.

My table is all green now! Look at all those green squares! I’m so happy with myself. And here below a little more neat version of all the words posted.

Now onto the fics! If you have read or read any of these in the future thank you so much. This writing project has been very dear to my heart and I’m very proud of these 11 fics and I look forward fo continue to work on the WIPs.

Phan:

Strictly Come Dancing but make it GAY | Chaptered, +36k, slow burn, strangers to friends to lovers, internet personality!Dan and dancer!Phil, dance AU (WIP)

Dan Howell calls Strictly out on Twitter for not allowing any same-sex couples and accidentally volunteers himself to be one of the contestants if they were to change that. It was a joke. It had so clearly been a joke. Why did they take him up on it?! He’s sure he’ll trip over his own feet and hate every second, but then he meets his partner, the endearingly clumsy dancer Phil Lester.

to all the people i’ve loved before (and the one who actually made me fall in love) | Chaptered, 64k, slow burn, fake dating, demisexuality, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before AU (COMPLETED)

Phil doesn’t crush on people often, but when he does the emotions seem to overwhelm him. The only way he knows how to deal is to write love letters. They were never meant to be read. The most recent letter threatens to ruin his relationship with his big brother Martyn, so in a fit of panic, Phil finds himself turning to the boy who was the recipient of the very first love letter for help. Even if he is Dan Howell, the school heartthrob.

clumsy, not creepy | One shot, 5k, humour, ghost AU (COMPLETED)

Prompt: just clumsy ghosts who can’t help but push a vase off a table because they’re that clumsy. why do ghosts have to be creepy? Enter Philip Michael Lester – the clumsiest ghost in the world. And Daniel James Howell – the guy who didn’t believe in ghosts. Well, until he met one.

candles are how we keep fires as pets | One shot, 3.7k, established relationship, magical AU (COMPLETED)

Dan tries to convince Phil that no, they absolutely cannot adopt the fire sprite that comes to visit their flat every day. Spoiler: He fails spectacularly.

they grew up so nicely, didn’t they? | One shot, 15k, outsider point of view from Cornelia, 2009-2020, reality (COMPLETED)

Cornelia doesn’t just get a boyfriend when she starts dating Martyn, she gets a whole second family too. Kath and Nigel welcome her with open arms and she becomes a pseudo older sister to Phil.She is there watching from the sidelines as a boy bolts right into Phil’s heart and sets up camp. She gets to watch as Dan and Phil build careers and an internet community and all the trials and tribulations, as well as the pride and happiness, it brings along.

BTS:

Innocent despite proven guilty | Chaptered, +40k, namkook, enemies to friends to lovers, wrongfully imprisoned, prison AU (WIP)

Jungkook’s life falls apart when he’s sentenced to prison for a crime he didn’t commit. He expects to see the worst of humanity in his fellow inmates, and he is sure he will be torn apart and broken on the first night. He’s not sure how to feel when he ends up with Kim Namjoon as his cellmate. Coldblooded killer, assumed psychopath, and someone Jungkook used to admire. After all, prison snuffs out every speck of kindness and demands that you will either eat or be eaten.

Happy Hopeful Heartbeat | One shot, 16.7k, nephilim!Hoseok, found family, fantasy AU (COMPLETED)

Hoseok knew the seven of them were standing in front of a practically insurmountable task in getting the druids to accept other species inside of their sacred forest. Even so, they had to persevere for the sake of their two youngest in the group. If a nephilim, two witches, a human, a fairy and two druids could find each other and come together in love and friendship, there was always hope for overcoming differences.

would it be alright if i pulled you closer? | Chaptered, +26k, vmin, strangers to friends to lovers, singer!Taehyung and dancer!Jimin, Idol AU (WIP)

Taehyung had always just let himself get pulled along in life. He just knew that he was good in front of a camera. First, it was acting in TV shows and later it’s throwing himself into the idol machine. He could deal with the loneliness of it, he thought, until one back-up dancer caught his eye and he suddenly saw his first chance at a real friend. He finds that and so much more in Jimin but life isn’t always easy.

Undertale:

Isn’t It Our Responsibility To Do The Right Thing? | Chaptered, +34k, sans/reader, post pacifist route, sequel to You Can Determine The Future Of Our World (WIP)

There has been established a tentative peace between the monsters and the humans since the treaty and New New Home has grown and adapted to allow a more diverse population. Everything still seemed to indicate that they were in a good timeline, until Sans starts acting weird and secretive. Something is up and it’s not good news. It’s never good news if it concerns the void. Or rather, who might come out of it.

Sanders Sides:

shy like a kurinji flower | Chaptered, LAMP, witches, polyamory, magical AU (COMPLETED)

Virgil wanders. He wanders and he wanders and he never lets himself put roots down anywhere. He is sure no one would want someone like him around. Not only is he a witch in hiding but he’s gay on top of it. Two things that the world largely disapproves of. But then one day, he wanders into a town that sends him on an errand to a little witch village and into the home and hearts of three other witches. Virgil both wants to run away and stay forever.

Merlin:

Merlin’s Mercy | One shot, enemies working together, canon divergence, different first meeting AU (COMPLETED)

Camelot is in peril and the knights can do little to stop the raging dragon determined to burn it all to the ground. They need help, even if Uther is seething at the mere mention of seeking help from a sorcerer. But not a regular sorcerer won’t do, they need a Dragonlord and Arthur sets off to find one at most haste. He is not prepared to meet Merlin, not at all.

#pedia #strictly come dancing but make it gay #to all the people i've loved before and the one who actually made me fall in love #clumsy not creepy #candles are how we keep fires as pets #they grew up so nicely didn't they #innocent despite proven guilty #happy hopeful heartbeat #would it be alright if i pulled you closer #isn't it our responsibility to do the right thing #shy like a kurinji flower #merlin's mercy #my stories #phanfic #sanders sides fic #bts fic #monthly recap

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angelmichelangelo · 4 years ago

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I feel like there’s no way to know or guess whether they’ll have kids tbh. Like for example people used to characterise Cornelia & Martyn as a couple who never wanted to have kids in their fics. We know now that’s not true. There’s just no way of knowing about it. I love the idea of them waiting until they move into their house then getting started on the process of having kids though 🥺 a cousin for freja

yeah, that is true :’) we shall never know until we do know, and if they decide to never share that kind of stuff with us then... that’s fine! and i’m fine with that because i have my fics and that’s good enough for me!

but the thought of a potential nursery being built right this moment, with dan and phil’s input and a nagging kath on the phone every night asking for every single detail about their journey to becoming dads?......... lay me down in face first in wet cement because i aint ever getting back up from that 😭

#ask #anon #parent!phan

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templeofshame · 4 years ago

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First Lines Fic Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line.

(Thanks for the tag, @quercussp!)

I’m gonna figure on fics because if I did stories in any medium, the pattern would be that plays generally start with establishing the setting. I don’t think y’all are interested in that though.

Anyway, 20 takes me so far back, it feels like I’m to another life by like #3. But the pattern is that I start with something short an straightforward. Also, a lot of them are negatives? I did not expect that but I might be extremely predictable.

1. Richie’s not trying to pretend there’s such a thing as life going back to normal.

2. “Protective” is not a word Dan ever would have used for his parents.

3. Spoiler alert, you can’t get a decent margarita in Wokingham.

4. There are loads of reasons to take a gap year.

5. The windows on the ground floor are boarded up.

6. It all starts with One-Punch Man.

7. It’s easy to say that Phil can’t live with his parents forever, but it’s not strictly true.

8. It’s not that Phil doesn’t want to celebrate a little after SitC.

9. Cornelia wants to go.

10. When Phil stops responding, Dan won’t have lost anything.

11. It’s a bad day.

12. That damn buzzer.

13. They’re down to ten days and Phil just wants to be excited.

14. Dan can’t tell anyone he’s afraid.

15. Phil is remembering why he hasn’t done this often, even back when Martyn had gigs all the time.

16. At first, Dan is definitely not serious.

17. Let them call us blue shirt and black shirt; next time, I’ll wear a black shirt too and they’ll have to call us Dan and Phil.

18. “Careers? Wouldn’t know about that.”

19. “What do you think?” Dan asks, looking over his tour bus notes.

20. To Phil, the flat always feels a little bigger, a little more open after Louise leaves.

#it's almost like i exist

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alittledizzy · 4 years ago

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tell us more about your stardew farm :D

okay first of all: underwhelming bc I didn’t look up anything about it before I started playing and I missed a whole lot of things that I should have done first year just because I didn’t know how the gameplay entirely worked or what to look out for.

second: i have kind of abandoned farming for ranching, i think? my first pair of chickens was dan and phil and then i got a void chicken called isnotonfire. The names got more random the more animals I got but Martyn and Cornelia were my first cows and I got a goat I named KickthePJ and Sophie the Sheep.

I really slacked on mining and fishing so at the end of year two because I was all in on the farming and ranching so far. I’m still not done with the community center but I’m sooooooo close, I literally need a rabbit’s foot and that’s it.

Also full confession: I started playing because someone (@natigail? I think) said they were thinking of doing a Stardew Valley inspired long fic and I wanted to be able to read it.

#anon asks #stardew asks #rawritsamehh

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phantasticworks · 5 years ago

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Never Stop (You Still Get My Heart Racing)

hiiii!! (Two updates in one day??? who is she???) I hope you all are having a great week and enjoy this little birthday fic that I am posting late because i forgot to start it until yesterday (whoops) enjoy!! <3

read on ao3

Words: 10k

Summary: Dan and Phil celebrate Dan's 29th birthday at home. A cute, fluffy engagement fic that somehow took me two days and turned out to be 10k words.title from Never Stop by SafetySuit

Warnings: Swearing, smut

"Dan," a whisper says, right next to his ear. "Dan, come on, get up." The voice is insistent, and quite honestly, grating on Dan's last sleep-deprived nerve.

"Fuck off," he mutters into the pillow, muffled voice losing some of its heat.

There's a low laugh, and then a hand settling in his unacceptably long hair. "Dan," he sing-songs. "I've got a surprise for you."

Dan cracks an eye open. "Hm?"

Phil grins at him. "You're so easy," he teases. He tugs on a curl, light enough that it doesn't hurt.

"Ow," Dan says anyway, just to be a brat.

"That didn't hurt," Phil replies, doing it again.

"How would you know?" Dan huffs.

Phil rolls his eyes. "You like it when it hurts, so bitching about it wouldn't make any sense."

Dan narrows his eyes. "Did you wake me up at the ass-crack of dawn just to kink-shame me?" He demands.

Phil's lip twitches like he wants to smile. "It's nearly one in the afternoon."

"And?" Dan grumbles.

"It's your birthday," Phil says, almost conversationally.

"Cheers," Dan says dryly. "One year closer to death, eh?"

Phil frowns. "I told you I don't like that joke," he says, his voice soft and quiet.

Dan sits up at that. "I know. Sorry." He leans in, kissing him softly in apology. "Good morning," he says when he pulls away.

There's still something unsettled in Phil's eyes, and Dan feels a sinking guilt in his stomach for causing it. He really wasn't feeling all that existential today, at least not yet, but the comment was just a knee-jerk reaction of his, as it always was. Still, he hated seeing Phil upset, especially when he knows he's the cause. Rather than follow that rabbit down the hole that would likely ruin his whole day, he smiles at Phil tentatively. "I heard something about a surprise?"

Finally, some of the light comes back to Phil's face, and he grins, nodding excitedly. "Yep, Norman and I have been hard at work all morning," he declares.

Dan snorts. "Our fish son is a free loader, I seriously doubt he contributed much.

Phil splutters, looking horrified. "Talk about our fish son like that again and you won't even have joint custody after the divorce!"

He's joking, and Dan knows he is, but that word still unsettles him in the worst way. He smiles, a little shakily. "I don't like that joke, either," he reminds him gently.

Phil's face falls in concern. "I- right, I'm sorry. I wasn't even- I was joking, Dan."

Dan nods, leaning in and kissing Phil's lips once more. "I know that. It's okay."

Phil tries to deepen the kiss, and Dan lets him. Even after ten years together, some mornings he was still awkward about sharing kisses when one of them hadn't brushed their teeth yet, but today was his birthday, and he fully planned on accepting every kiss that was offered to him. Phil's fingernails scratch gently at the back of Dan's neck, a shiver creeping down his spine at the feeling.

"Surprise?" Dan whispers against Phil's mouth, pulling away just enough to let the word out.

He expects Phil to let it go in favor of more sleep-warm kisses, so he's surprised when instead Phil puts more space between them, his eyes lit up with joy for whatever he's got planned. "Out of bed, sleepyhead, we've got places to be!"

Dan grumbles as he's pulled from the bed. "We can't even leave our flat, Phil, I seriously doubt we've got anywhere to be."

Phil tuts at him. "You have no idea what we're doing for today, so zip it." He suddenly spins to face Dan at the door, tilting his head consideringly. He studies Dan long enough that Dan starts wiping at his face and brushing off his t-shirt.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" He demands, feeling embarrassed.

Phil smiles at him, shaking his head. "No, of course not. Do you want to brush your hair or change?"

Dan snorts. "For who? Our fish?" He shakes his head, incredulous at the very suggestion he wear anything other than pajamas and bed head around their empty flat. "I'm fine, the surprise can see me in my fresh out of bed look, I don't care."

Phil has a very suspicious grin on his face at that, but shrugs. "Okay, suit yourself," he says with an amused voice.

He leads the way out of their bedroom and heads for the lounge, a certain skip in his step that leads Dan to drag his feet behind him, suddenly cautious about what this surprise could possibly be. It can't be a dog, they'd agreed that can't happen until they move into the new house. Other than a fluffy animal or food, Dan's not sure what else Phil would be so excited for him to see, so he feels a little unsettled, like he's going in blind.

The first thing he sees in the lounge is decorations. Black and silver streamers hang precariously from the tops of the open windows, fluttering gently in the breeze floating inside. Black, white, and grey balloons dot the ceiling, and Dan notices a bag on the coffee table. He smirks, thinking about how Phil probably just got lazy and stopped airing them up after he got so many done. His gaze flits around, stopping on the table where they keep Norman's tank. He notices two things at once, and his breath catches in his throat.

Norman's tank is decorated on the outside, two balloons anchored to the top with candles, and a little black party hat balanced (or probably taped) to the corner, as if Norman's tank is wearing it. As cute and thoughtful as that gesture is, that's not what stops Dan in his tracks. Because next to that, on Phil's laptop, is a Zoom call, several very familiar and smiling faces beaming at him from the screen.

"Happy birthday!" They cheer, waving at him. Martyn, who's in a little square with Cornelia, pops a birthday popper, laughing when it startles both Kathryn and Karen, who are in their own squares at the top of the screen.

"I..." Dan starts, voice a little choked. He blinks the blur out of his eyes, his gaze searching the room for Phil's.

Phil's got such a pleased fucking look on his face, looking fond and smug and happy- and Dan can't really help himself. He stumbles forward, clutching Phil's arms and pressing a sloppy kiss right on his mouth, right in front of their family. Even with as long as they've been together, in private and in public now, it still sends a little nervous thrill through him to display his affection so publicly.

"Happy birthday, Dan," Phil whispers in his ear, wrapping his arms around Dan's shoulders in a tight hug.

"Thank you," Dan chokes out, his head going to rest on Phil's shoulder. He smiles at the screen, laughing a little before wiping his eyes and waving at their families. Pulling away, he goes to sit down in front of the laptop, pulling Phil along by his wrist. "He didn't tell me that he called you guys," he says instead of a greeting.

Karen laughs. "I told him he should make it a surprise," she says brightly.

Dan rolls his eyes. "You're awful, all of you, for being accomplices in this."

His nan is there, too, and he feels a brief flash of panic thinking about what she just saw, but her kind, loving smile is enough to reassure him. Phil squeezes his knee then, and Dan blinks at him, smiling brightly. "I figured if I told you it would take you at least half an hour to make yourself presentable, and I just didn't have that kind of time," Phil teases.

Dan goes to argue before suddenly realizing his hair is an absolute mess. His eyes bulge out, and he swings his head around to look at himself on the screen, groaning when he sees it. Predictably, everyone laughs at him. "I look like I have a whole dog on my head!" He whines.

"You could've let me cut it," Phil says cheerfully, miming scissors and putting his hand close to Dan's head. Dan swats it away.

"Absolutely not!" Dan disagrees. "I like being not-disfigured," he says, rolling his eyes as he looks back at the screen, shaking his head.

Kathryn and Nigel are grinning at their banter, as is Martyn. His mum just rolls her eyes. "You're so dramatic, child," she scolds playfully. "But, speaking of dogs, someone here wants to say hi!"

Dan laughs, but coos when his mum tilts the screen down, Colin popping into frame.

"Colin! Hello," Dan says in his puppy-talking voice. "Hello, Colin. You good boy! Did Mum make you some cake for me?"

Karen snorts. "Not hardly. I'd rather it didn't become tradition that he eats every single thing I try to bake."

Kathryn laughs at that. "It's a compliment to the chef, dear! He doesn't want to miss out on the lovely food!"

Now it's Dan's turn to snort. "Not quite, Mum, he sicks it back up immediately after. It's not even edible for a dog, apparently," he cackles.

Karen looks betrayed. "Don't go telling on your mother, young man!"

Dan can't help but laugh. "Yes ma'am," he agrees sarcastically.

"Did Phil give you your birthday present yet?" Martyn asks.

Dan turns his head to look at Phil, quirking a brow in surprise. "Is this not it?"

Phil looks pleased with himself as he shakes his head with a little smile. "No, I got you something else, but you can't have it until later."

Momentarily forgetting they're literally sat in front of their whole family, Dan quirks his eyebrow suggestively. Phil blushes, shoving him. Dan grins, turning back to shake his head at the faces on his screen. "Is it another candle? Or is it like a box set for an anime? Ooh! Or is it-"

Nearly all of them are laughing at him. "Dear, why on earth would we spoil it?" His nan asks.

Dan narrows his eyes. "Does this mean that all of you know what it is?"

No one answers.

"Oh, you f-"

Before he can swear, Phil interrupts. "It's one o'clock, should we try him again?" He asks.

Dan's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Who?" He asks.

Phil doesn't even look at him. Karen nods on her screen, reaching for her phone. "I'll text and ask if he's gotten his computer sorted.

Dan pinches Phil's side, and he squeals, squirming away. "Ow!" He whines.

"Who are you talking about?" Dan demands.

Phil only smiles, not responding. Dan fully intends on bullying it out of him, audience or not, but then Kathryn is speaking and he loses the opportunity.

"I really do hate that we can't come visit, love," she says, sounding ashamed. Nigel nods along.

"It's alright," Dan's quick to reassure her. "Not everyone can have Philip's birthweek of endless celebrations," he jokes, nudging Phil gently.

Everyone laughs, except Phil, Dan notices. He only looks slightly embarrassed. Dan risks another affectionate gesture, leaning in and kissing his cheek. "It's okay bub, we know you can't help it, you're the baby, you're spoiled."

Phil laughs at this, smiling at Dan sheepishly. "A little bit," he admits.

Dan smiles, shaking his head. They're interrupted by the sound of someone else joining the call. Dan blinks at the screen in confusion, waiting for their shitty wifi to load the pixels.

"Speaking of the spoiled baby of the family," his mum says, her voice amused.

Adrian smiles and waves. "Happy birthday, Dan!" He greets.

Dan stares at him, more than a little surprised. It wasn't like they didn't talk at all anymore, if anything they talked more now than they used to. But Adrian had texted him an early happy birthday yesterday, so Dan wasn't expecting to hear from him again anytime soon. "Hi," he greets, a little late. "What're you doing here?"

Adrian laughs. "I can't pop into your zoom call to say happy birthday?"

"I mean, you already did," Dan says, rolling his eyes. He smiles to soften the sarcasm. "Thanks, though." His brother nods, grinning back at him. Dan's eyes flick across the screen, taking in all the faces of these people he loves so much. It fills his heart with something warm and gooey to think about how Phil arranged all of this for him, because he knew how bummed Dan was that he couldn't see anyone on his birthday. Despite the fact that he typically didn't mind not seeing his family, the fact that the option was taken from him hurt more than just choosing not to see them would. He knows he's got to think of a good way to thank Phil for this, but he knows that whatever he decides on will be something his family will not be present for.

They're talking amongst themselves now, his mum and Phil's talking about recipes or something, with Dan's nan nodding along and giving advice like grandmothers do. Nigel has disappeared, predictably, as the other introvert in Phil's family is definitely not a fan of big family zoom meetings like this. Dan doesn't blame him, honestly, and appreciates that he was there at all.

Phil puts his arm around Dan's back, rubbing his hip gently. Dan can't help but smile at the small gesture, dropping his hand to Phil's thigh and squeezing. They get dragged back into conversation eventually, and spend the next half hour or so chatting to everyone and getting caught up on all the family gossip that everyone has to share. Eventually, Adrian has to sign off to get some work related thing done, followed shortly by Dan's Nan, who has tea to prepare. They both tell him happy birthday again, and Dan's face hurts a little from grinning when they say they love him.

"I think Corn and I better hop off too, actually," Martyn says a few minutes later. "Happy birthday, mate. Eat lots of cake for me, yeah?"

Dan grins and nods. "You know Phil will eat enough for a small village, Mar."

Phil's brother laughs in the face of Phil's following protests. "He's right, don't argue."

Phil rolls his eyes anyway. Cornelia steps in, ever the pacifist. "It's rude to fight on Dan's birthday," she chastises. Martyn mimes zipping his lips and Phil huffs. "Happy birthday, Daniel. I hope you like your birthday present." She winks then, but logs off the second Dan opens his mouth to ask.

"Damn it," he sighs.

Phil giggles. "They wouldn't have told you anyway. I had them all swear to secrecy."

Kathryn makes a noise of disagreement. "I did no such thing," She argues, smiling broadly.

Dan smiles slyly. "Kath," he begins. "My favorite mum-in-law, you could just give me a tiny hint and-"

"And nothing!" Phil interrupts, shaking his head adamantly. "No hints, just secrets here."

Dan rolls his eyes and Kathryn laughs. "Well, Philip, if you really didn't want me to tell-"

Phil narrows his eyes at her. "I'll hang the call up, Mum, I swear."

She chuckles at this. "Fine, fine. Daniel, happy birthday, dear. We love you very much. Nigel and I sent you a gift and I believe Phil is hiding it somewhere, like the scoundrel he is." She winks when she says it.

"You told me to make sure he didn't open it till his birthday!" Phil argues.

Kathryn shrugs. "I didn't think you'd actually have the self-restraint for that, dear."

Phil huffs, and Dan hides a giggle behind his hand. "Bye, Mum," Phil says, rolling his eyes good-naturedly.

"Bye, dear. I love you both. Ta, Karen! Send me that recipe when you get a chance!"

Karen waves at her with a smile and a nod of agreement, and then it's just the two of them and Dan's mum. She smiles gently at Dan. Phil leans over, kissing Dan's head softly. "I'll let you guys talk for a bit."

He stands, but Dan reaches out for him, confused. "Where are you going?" He says, his voice full of complaint.

Phil rolls his eyes. "I'm going to set up your next surprise," he says with a wink, and then he's gone.

Karen waits for Dan to get his bearings, watching him with an amused look on her face. "He's very thoughtful, Dan," she says, catching him even more off-guard.

"What do you know?" he asks immediately.

She laughs, but shakes her head. "You know I won't tell you. But just seeing him with you, he's very sweet."

Dan's heart speeds up a little. They'd talked a little about Phil and their relationship when he visited for Christmas, but it was still a little thrilling to hear his mum talk about him knowing what she knows now. "Yeah?" He asks, clearing his throat.

"Yes," she nods. "You picked a very good one. I'm quite a proud mum, actually."

Dan blushes, looking down as he tries to bite back his ridiculous smile. He hates that he's so easily pleased by this news, but as deprived as he was throughout his childhood, he craves that affection and pride. "Thank you," he says eventually. "He... He's really wonderful, yeah."

"I can tell," she says, smiling. "You know I've always just wanted you to be happy, love. I know it's been a year since you came out to us, but... even before, we've always just wanted you to be happy."

He's not going to cry on his birthday. He's just not. Rubbing at his eye and pretending like he has an eyelash trapped there, he takes a moment to collect himself and force his tear ducts to behave. "I am," he whispers. "I'm the happiest I've ever been, I think."

His mum nods, and smiles. "That's good, love. That's so good. I'm happy for you, for both of you."

Dan nods too. It gets quiet then, but it's not awkward like it would have been only a few years before. "Thank you, for doing this, by the way. I know he probably didn't think of this all on his own," Dan laughs, rolling his eyes a little.

Karen nods, but looks a little surprised. "I mean, you're welcome, but he actually called me and asked me to."

Dan blinks. "What?"

Her eyes twinkle with amusement. "Yes, he called me a few days ago and asked if I'd do this. I didn't help him come up with it, I'm afraid."

Surprised, but definitely impressed, Dan nods. "Well... Thank you, anyway. For calling and everything. This was a really nice surprise."

She has a knowing grin on her face. "You're welcome, love. I hope the rest of your day is just as nice, but I know it will be."

Dan shakes his head, exasperated. "You people and your secrets," he says in mock disappointment.

"I promised not to tell," she informs him, raising her hands in surrender. "But I think he's probably waiting for you, so I'll let you go find him." Dan nods. "I love you, Daniel. Happy birthday, little Bear."

He smiles at the nickname. "Thank you, Mum. I love you too. Talk later," he says with a wave.

There's that look again, and she grins. "Oh, I fully expect it."

He rolls his eyes but bids her a farewell before signing off and closing the laptop. He stands and stretches, realizing with a start that they'd started the call nearly an hour ago. Passing Norman's tank, he gives it a little pat, greeting their pet. "Hello, Norman."

Dan wanders into the kitchen, sighing at the smell of coffee. He spots Phil doing something at the counter, so he hops up onto the opposite one, sighing loudly to alert him to his presence. "That was a really nice surprise," he says after a minute.

Phil turns to look at him, offering a soft smile. "Yeah?" Dan nods, holding his arms out for a hug. Phil willingly steps forward, wrapping his arms around Dan's waist and stroking his back. "I thought you might enjoy it. The next best thing to seeing them in person, for now."

"Yeah," Dan agrees. He kisses Phil's forehead. "It was really nice." He sniffs the air, pulling away. "Is that caramel?"

There's a laugh as Phil retreats back to where he was, doing something else before returning to Dan with two mugs, full of something that looks vaguely like- "Here you go. A caramel macchiato."

Dan blinks at the cup, a little afraid to accept it after Phil's terrible Easter Dalgona coffee disaster. "Babe... Is it edible? I know you like to try new things, but-"

Before he can complain too much, Phil takes a sip of his own mug, and smiles. "I've been practicing it for about a week now. It's good, I promise." Suddenly all of Phil's late night jitters recently make loads more sense.

"Okay," Dan says, still a little cautious. He takes a sip of the drink, his expectations very, very low. He's pleasantly surprised when instead of whatever he'd expected, he gets a lovely burst of flavor on his tongue. "That's... That's actually really good, Phil," he says, going for another sip.

"Told you so," Phil says triumphantly. He takes a drink of his own and sighs, smacking his lips loudly to annoy Dan.

Dan gives him a look, but drinks some more of his coffee, something nagging at his memory. Before he can piece it together, Phil pats his thigh. "C'mon, lets go sit on the balcony and drink our coffee and name some more of our pigeons."

Dan is so, so fond of this man.

~~~

They sit out on the balcony for what feels like hours, lounging around and taking selfies, at Phil's insistence. He even brings out Dan's polaroid and gets a few cute coupley photos that Dan knows will be pinned to their fridge by tomorrow. Eventually, Dan decides he wants a snack.

"I was actually going to make you dinner, did you want to help?" Phil asks.

Dan makes a happy noise. "What are we having?"

Phil bites his lip, pretending to consider it. Dan doesn't buy it for a minute. If Phil's planning this day out like Dan thinks he is, he already knows. "I was thinking I'd do some chicken katsu, maybe. Does that sound alright?"

Dan leans in and kisses the corner of his mouth. "That sounds great."

There's a smile on Phil's face when Dan pulls away, and he wants to kiss it off. Before he can, Phil takes his hand and guides him back inside and to the kitchen. He starts pulling ingredients out, instructing Dan to grab any pans that they might need. Dan rolls his eyes at this but does as he's asked before going for the cupboard where they keep wine glasses. He goes about filling them up while Phil starts getting the food started.

"Here," Dan says, handing him a glass of wine. "What do you want me to do?"

Phil smiles at him, kissing his nose gently. "You can just sit and watch, baby. It's your birthday, so let me take care of this."

Dan gives him a look, crossing his arms. "This isn't how we usually do birthdays," he finally says. It's been nagging him all morning. "You're starting to make me feel like a shit boyfriend because I don't do all this for you on yours," Dan says, feeling genuinely a bit put out.

Phil turns to look at him, a his lips turned down in a frown. "No, love, you're not a shit boyfriend," Phil argues with him immediately. "I just wanted this one to be special for you. This is your tenth birthday that you and I have spent together, you know."

"Yeah, but-" Dan starts to argue.

"Just let me do this, yeah? Try to relax, okay? I'm allowed to spoil you on your birthday, you know," he says, voice teasing.

Dan steps closer before Phil turns away, putting his hand on the back of Phil's neck and guiding their lips together. He deepens the kiss almost immediately, sliding his tongue into Phil's mouth. "I love you," he says when he pulls away.

Phil looks a little dazed. Dan swells with pride knowing he can still do that, ten years later. "I love you too," he says, offering a smile. "Now, go sit. I need some thinking space to cook, and you're a distraction."

Dan smirks at this. "Am I?"

Pursing his lips, Phil nods once. "Absolutely. Shoo, go sit at the table and look pretty."

"Alright, fine, fine," Dan agrees, going to sit down.

"Actually," Phil says, spinning around to face him. He gestures in the direction of their bedroom. "I think you should go shower and get dressed."

Dan gives him a weird look. "Oh...kay?"

Phil smirks. "Wear something nice, okay?"

There's a prickle of something then, in Dan's heart. This is starting to feel strangely staged. "Alright. Something nice." He waits a beat before asking, "Are we going on a date?"

Phil grins proudly. "Maybe," he says conspiratorially. "But you can't go unless you're all dressed up.

Dan snorts. "I hope that extends to you as well, Mr. Cookie Monster Pajamas."

Phil rolls his eyes. "Go, shower, dressed, now."

Giving him another kiss, Dan mumbles an agreement before disappearing down the hall.

He's thrilled at the effort Phil is putting into this, and a thrum of nervous excitement is under his skin, making him nearly vibrate with anxiety. He puts his energy, nervous as it is, into choosing a nice outfit. He knows they aren't leaving the flat, but somehow that doesn't deter him any. He finds one of his many black t-shirts, and after a moment of deliberation he also grabs his monochrome flowery shirt he likes to wear over it. It’s been a while since he’s had to pick out a date outfit, so he takes a while to consider it before finally deciding it’s fine and Phil will probably compliment anything he wears.

After a thorough shower, he gets dressed and spritzes some of Phil’s cologne on, taking one look at his hair and deciding to let it air dry. He’s as ready as he’s going to get by then, so he waltzes back into the kitchen, pleased when he notices the way Phil looks at him when he comes in. “Hi,” Phil greets with a grin.

“Hi,” Dan parrots, smirking at him when he realizes Phil’s changed clothes as well. He’s wearing the only pair of ripped jeans he owns, matching Dan’s, and his maroon button-down, dotted all over with little white flowers. Dan laughs when he notices the theme. “I see we both went with flowers today,” he says in a teasing voice.

Phil smiles at him. “I guess we did.” He reaches for Dan, and he goes willingly, stepping into his face and wrapping his arms around Phil’s neck before bringing their lips together. They kiss languidly for a bit but eventually Phil pulls away, nipping at Dan’s lower lip. “I love this shirt on you,” he mumbles. “It makes your arms look so nice.”

Dan snorts at the compliment. “Thank you. I’m glad you like them.”

Something about the clumsy phrasing has them locking eyes, and in an instant they’re nearly doubled over with laughter. Dan can’t remember a time he felt so awkward accepting a compliment from Phil. It feels like they’re on their very first...

Phil gestures outside, where Dan is just now noticing two places set at their little balcony table. “It’s not exactly a skybar, but... it’s close enough,” he says softly.

Dan blinks at the scene before his eyes flicker back to Phil’s. “You... you’ve been recreating our first date?” His voice pitches up a little on the end.

Phil looks sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding Dan’s eyes. “I mean... yeah, kind of. I knows it’s not nearly the same, because it’s not Starbucks and the Apple store and the skybar but really-“

Dan interrupts him with a firm kiss. He cradles Phil’s face in his hands like he’s precious cargo, because he is. This is the most precious gesture anyone has ever done for him, and he feels love and warmth and affection singing in his veins as he sucks Phil’s lower lip into his mouth. "That's so fucking sweet," he mumbles into Phil's mouth.

"I love you," Phil says in response, pushing his hands up the back of Dan's shirt.

He pulls away too soon for Dan's liking, and Dan can't stop the sad noise from leaving his throat. Phil laughs at him, predictably. "C'mon, none of that now. We need to eat dinner."

Dan pouts. "Maybe I'm hungry for something else now," he argues.

Phil gives him a cheeky smile. "Later, I promise. The night's still young, bub."

Glancing at the clock, Dan's genuinely surprised to see that it is already almost seven in the evening. Well, time certainly flies when you're having fun, he guessed. He follows Phil onto the balcony, smiling when he sees several candles flickering on the table, as well as two places said on either side. There's a bottle of wine there, as well as their wine glasses from earlier, which are now empty. Dan chooses not to ask Phil if he drank them both for the aesthetic.

"Alright, have a seat and I'll bring the food out, okay?" Phil says firmly. He waits until Dan follows the instructions, then drops a kiss to the curls atop Dan's head.

"M'kay," Dan hums, his eyes fluttering shut, absolutely content right now.

Phil smiles before disappearing back into the flat. He's gone for several minutes, and when he's back he has a plate in each hand, stepping very carefully so as not to drop then. Dan grins fondly as Phil very, very carefully sets Dan's plate in front of him, his brows furrowed in concentration. "Thank you, waiter," he says, voice teasing.

Rollins his eyes with a grin, Phil shakes his head and returns to his own seat. "Wine?" He asks, holding the bottle up and filling his own glass first.

Dan nods. "Please," he says, holding onto the base of his own glass in case Phil gets a little too overzealous with his pouring. "Thank you," he says when Phil takes a seat. "This is really lovely."

Phil has a proud little smile on his face. "Good, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," he says with a clumsy wink. Dan has to laugh at him. Ten years in, nearly eleven, and Phil is still absolutely uncoordinated in nearly every way.

They tuck into their food, making appreciative noises and small talk as they eat. In a lot of ways, it does feel like a first date. Not only is the setup similar to their own first date, but something about the nerves Dan feels reminds him of that very first day in Manchester all those years ago. And if Phil's plan was to make Dan feel wooed, it's absolutely working, just as it did then.

Something occurs to him then and he can't help but glance up at Phil and tilt his head in question. "You know the one thing you can't recreate from our first date?" he asks, a smile in his voice already just remembering it.

"What's that?" Phil replies, smirking. Surely he's already thought of this, if he's thought of everything else.

"The Manchester Eye," Dan reminds him. "Unless you've built a Ferris Wheel somewhere, I think you get no stars for that part of the date," Dan announces, mostly joking.

Phil doesn't even look bothered. "Ah, but we haven't finished the day yet, have we? Don't doubt what tricks I have up my sleeve, Danny boy," he says with a suspicious grin.

Dan's nose crinkles delicately at the nickname. "Alright, fine," he concedes easily. He's not that bothered about it, honestly. It's not like he doesn't love and appreciate everything Phil's done already in and effort to recreate that first day, and the fake Starbucks, the balcony date, it's all so well-thought out and lovely that Dan could never be bothered by the lack of some recreation of the finale of their first date.

“How was the food?” Phil asks, nodding to Dan’s mostly empty plate.

Dan grins. “What do you think?” He says in a jokey kind of voice. “I finished it, didn’t I?”

Phil rolls his eyes, kicking him gently underneath the table. “Thank you for the compliment, rat,” he says drily.

Hitting his foot against Phil’s again to prompt a footsie match, Dan smirks. “Oh I’ll give you a compliment alright.” He punctuates his terrible line with a wink and Phil rolls his eyes once again.

“Not in front of the food, please,” Phil replies in a deadpan voice.

Dan snickers and Phil cracks a smile. “Why don’t you go inside and get ready for bed while I clean up?” He suggests.

As sweet as that is, and as much as Dan really does want to be lazy, he shakes his head. “No, I think I’ll stay and help.”

Phil starts to protest so Dan quickly stands and starts collecting dishes. When Phil pouts, Dan smiles, pressing a kiss to the corner of Phil’s mouth. “It’ll get done faster if we both do it. And if the itinerary for today is following our first date...” he smirks. “Then we’ve got a busy night ahead of us.”

There’s a pink flush across Phil’s cheeks, but he doesn’t argue, going to collect the things Dan couldn’t grab and blowing out the candles while Dan walks inside. They make quick work of filling the dishwasher and putting leftovers away and Dan makes the executive decision to take the wine bottle and their glasses into their bedroom. They didn’t normally drink very much but Dan was feeling very happy and very thirsty and maybe a little in love. Getting wine drunk with his favorite person in the world sounds like the exact best way to end the day.

“Do you want to watch a movie before bed?” Phil asks, surprising Dan into turning around.

“Uh... aren’t we gonna...” he trails off. Sex doesn’t embarrass him, not at all, but he doesn’t want to be wrong about the assumption that they’d be fucking tonight.

Phil smiles at him. “We will, later. But we just ate and I wanna watch a movie.”

Dan rolls his eyes, but shrugs, going to put the wine up. He didn’t want to risk spilling it on the sofa they don’t own. “Okay. Let’s watch a movie, then.”

“Pajamas first, then Netflix and Phil,” Phil announces with a grin.

“That joke’s past it’s expiration date, bub.”

“Of course it is. And you laugh anyway,” Phil retorts.

And Dan can’t exactly argue that, so he follows Phil to their room to pick out the coziest pair of pajamas he can find.

~~~

Dan’s not surprised when Phil asks to pick the movie and he’s even less surprised to see the Wall-E loading screen pop up on their TV. That’s not to say he doesn’t immediately snuggle with Phil on the sofa as the movie starts, because he does. He also kisses his cheek, nuzzling it like a cat before dropping his head to Phil’s shoulder.

“Blanket?” Phil asks, gesturing to the other end of the sofa where they left their sad pimp blanket the other night.

Dan tugs it over and allows Phil to tuck them in, feeling kind of like a little kid but enjoying the attention anyway. He curls up as close to Phil as he can, swinging his legs over Phil’s lap and snuggling close under the comfort of the furry blanket. The movie has already started and Dan knows the story by heart by now but he’s still just as captured by the beautiful animation and touching themes as he was the first time.

“We didn’t do this on our first date,” Dan whispers against Phil’s neck.

Phil pinches his hip. “So? Maybe I just wanted to watch it.”

Dan huffs, swatting Phil’s hand away from his side. They swat at each other for a few seconds before eventually Phil settles it by lacing their fingers together. Dan kisses his neck, but nibbles some skin as reprimand. Phil makes a noise and squeezes Dan’s leg but otherwise doesn’t move, and Dan smiles, knowing he’s winding him up.

They watch the rest of the movie in relative silence, occasionally quoting lines from it and making jokes but when the credits start rolling Dan finds himself a little sad that it’s already over. Phil pats his leg beneath the cover, letting his hand go. “Alright, babe, let me up. I’ve got some things I need to take care of before bedtime.”

Dan quirks a brow at him as he moves his legs off Phil’s lap, allowing him to stand. “Is it birthday related?”

Phil ruffles his hair with a smirk. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s just emails.”

A frown tugs at Dan’s lips but he nods. “I might scroll through Twitter for a bit,” he says.

Phil nods before leaning down and pushing Dan’s curls off his forehead to kiss the skin there. “Alright. Come find me in a bit, yeah?”

Dan nods, his eyelids fluttering at the feeling of Phil scratching gently at his scalp. “M’kay. Half an hour?” He asks.

“Sure,” Phil agrees with a smile.

He leaves Dan with another kiss before he heads to their room, so Dan occupies himself with social media for a bit. He answers some happy birthday messages from friends and distant family, and eventually he makes his way to twitter. He smiles when he sees the pictures Phil’s tagged him in. After tweeting a cheeky reply, he scrolls through all the fan art and edits, seeing lots of familiar usernames on his screen as he scrolls. He tweets a thank you to the people who donated to Mermaids in his name, his eyes misting a little at the thoughtfulness of the gesture. Every year it made him so proud to see how much his fans cared about the things that were important to him.

Eventually his half hour is up and he’s on his way to the bedroom, eager to see what his birthday present is. He’s not even particularly concerned about what it is at this point; the gesture of the day itself has been plenty for him.

His expectations aren’t set on one end of the spectrum or the other, so he’s not really expecting or hoping for any particular thing when he opens the door. And even if he was, it probably wouldn’t have crossed his mind to expect the lights off, aside from some newly hung fairy lights over the bed, casting the room in a soft glow. He steps around the moving boxes that line the wall next to the closet, looking around at all the glittering lights. He’s smiling already, his gaze taking in the candle on their dresser, the nice expensive one Phil got him for his birthday a couple years ago.

His gaze catches on something shiny on the bed. The low light of the room makes it hard to tell right away, but when he looks closer Dan sees that it’s a circle made of metal. He’s confused until he reaches out to pick it up, then he gasps. Holding it closer to his face, he sees the little stand it’s sat on, and each little cart dotted along the line of the circle. It’s obvious what it is now.

Before he can get too emotional over the gift of a little metal statue of the Manchester Eye, Dan hears a throat clear behind him. He whirls around, heart in his throat, confused when no one is there. He’s about to panic when his eyes flick down and- oh.

“Hi,” Phil says in a soft, quiet voice. “You told me on my birthday that I could do this when I was ready, and be as romantic as I wanted. I planned a trip to Manchester for real, but obviously that didn’t happen.”

Dan lets out a choked sound, his eyes wet. “Phil,” he starts. “I didn’t know-“

“Shh,” Phil shushes him gently. “It’s okay.” He reaches for Dan’s hand, smiling when he allows him to take it. He strokes his thumb across Dan’s hand, looking at him with affection in his eyes. “Are you okay with this? Are we ready for it?”

Dan nods, feeling a little light headed all of a sudden. “I need- can I-“ he stumbles back, sitting on the edge of their bed.

Phil smiles, dropping to both knees and settling between Dan’s, still holding his hand. “So. I wanted to take you to Manchester for this. I’ve had it planned for... several years, honestly. Probably since the other flat.”

That’s news to Dan, and apparently the look on his face proves it. Phil giggles. “Oh,” Dan says dumbly.

“I knew we weren’t ready then and wouldn’t be for a while, if ever, but now that we’re on the same page... it just seems like a good time. And since we can’t go anywhere, this at-home date was the next best thing I could think of.”

Dan smiles, leaning in and kissing his forehead. “I loved it,” he assures him.

Phil looks pleased. “I wanted this to be something you remember forever, and I know you’re a slut for a good story telling experience, so I figured you’d enjoy telling people how I proposed,” he teases with a grin.

Dan blushes. “Phil,” he whines.

“Shh, let me talk,” Phil chastises. He smiles at Dan, pausing for a moment just to look at him. Dan squirms, nervous under the attention. “Our first date was everything to me and we didn’t even know we were on a date at the time. It wasn’t until later, after you kissed me on the wheel and then when we slept together at my parents’ house that we talked about it and decided that was where our story began. And, this is where the next chapter of that story begins.” He stops again, taking a deep breath. “So. Daniel, my best friend, my companion through life-“

“Phil!”

He’s shushed once more.

“My actual soulmate,” Phil finishes with a grin. He kisses Dan’s knuckle softly. “The love of my life,” he adds, nuzzling the spot on his left hand where a ring would go. “Will you marry me?”

Dan’s breath catches in his throat. He knew this was coming, obviously, after the speech Phil just made and honestly the day as a whole. Still, hearing it now, out in the open like that, fills him with warmth. He wraps his arms around Phil’s neck, pressing their foreheads together gently. “Yes,” he whispers. “Of course I will.”

Phil makes a pleased noise before leaning in to kiss him firmly on the mouth. “I love you,” he mumbles.

“I love you too,” Dan giggles back, petting Phil’s hair. “This was very romantic,” he says. “I’m very impressed.”

Phil kisses his dimple. “I thought you’d like it,” he says with a grin. “Oh!” He says suddenly, jumping back and shoving his hand in his pocket. “I did it wrong.” He sounds sad, or disappointed.

“Did what wrong?” Dan asks, confused.

“The proposal!” Phil whines, holding up a small black velvet box. “I had the ring and I forgot to get it out and do the whole thing.”

Dan kisses him. “It was perfect. It wasn’t wrong at all.”

Phil kisses back, allowing Dan’s tongue to sneak in a little bit before pulling away enough to speak. “You wanna see your ring?”

Dan nods, suddenly very excited. Phil hands him the box and sits back while Dan opens it. “Oh,” Dan gasps, brushing his finger across it. “It’s... it’s gorgeous, Phil, fuck. How much-“

“I’m never telling you how much it was so you can forget that question,” Phil says immediately, not meeting Dan’s eyes.

“Phil,” Dan says, fondly exasperated. “We’re buying a house! We’re supposed to be saving money! What if-“

Phil, who’s normally the kind of man who lets his boyfriend speak, interrupts him with a kiss. “I’ve been saving up for it for a while now. I promise none of it came from our forever home fund.”

Dan eyes him suspiciously. “How long?” He asks, just out of curiosity.

There’s a twitch of Phil’s lips before he lets himself properly smile. “Since 2011.”

He doesn’t mean to start crying again, but hearing that date, which doesn’t even seem like a real year anymore, causes Dan to duck his head and suck in a few calming breaths. “Fuck,” he breathes wetly. “You really... you’ve really wanted to marry me that long.”

Phil offers a sheepish smile. “Longer, actually,” he admits. “I knew I wanted to marry you sometime after that first day in Manchester, probably the week in November.” He smirks then, clearly up to something. “But it took me until 2011 to realize your expensive taste and how I might want to save up for it.”

Dan gives him a look but Phil only laughs easily. “Can I... is it okay if I go ahead and try it on?”

“Of course,” Phil says immediately with a soft smile. He holds a hand out for the box and Dan hands it to him, letting him take the band out and slide it onto the ring finger of Dan’s left hand. “Perfect,” he whispers, leaning in and kissing the ring.

Dan can’t help but hold his hand up closer to look at it more carefully. “What’s it made out of?” He asks, turning his hand this way and that to see the light reflect off the tiny diamonds embedded in it.

“Black titanium and black sapphires,” Phil says. “I figured we’d consider the one you gave me and this one our engagement bands and when it’s time for an actual wedding we can get a matching set.”

“I like that idea a lot,” Dan replies, his gaze flickering from the ring to his fiancé. He grins at the sound of the word in his head. “How do you feel knowing that you’re going to be married to me?” He asks teasingly.

Phil leans in and kisses the side of his mouth gently. “Like the luckiest man alive,” he whispers.

Dan can’t help but blush at that statement, but rather than argue, he puts his arms around Phil’s neck and kisses him again. “I love you,” he says for maybe the twentieth time today. “I think this has been my favorite birthday yet.”

Phil sighs, resting his head against Dan’s chest. “I love you too, Bear. I wanted you to have such a good day today. I’m glad you liked it.”

Dan smiles against his hair. “It was lovely, really.”

“Good,” Phil says, kissing his clothed chest. “There’s cake in the fridge, by the way. For later.” His voice is muffled by the fabric as he kisses his way down.

“For later?” Dan taunts.

“Yep,” Phil replies, winking up at him. “We’re busy right now.”

“Oh are we?” Dan says, voice hopelessly sarcastic.

“Shh,” Phil whispers, kissing the front of his pajama pants. “Less talking. More taking clothes off.”

Dan snorts at the lack of finesse. Ten years in and Dan guessed there was only so much they could do to keep the romance alive. He pets Phil’s hair as he kisses the band of Dan’s pajamas, hooking his fingers under the elastic and tugging gently. “Can I?” Phil asks, always the sweetheart.

"Yeah," Dan murmurs, lifting his hips and allowing Phil to pull them down his legs. He's gone for no pants, something not lost on Phil, who rolls his eyes.

"You're so lazy," he mutters, leaning down to kiss Dan's thigh before throwing the pjs across the room carelessly.

"You pretty heavily implied I'd be getting laid tonight, bub, so my pants-free decision was your influence too, you know," Dan says, quirking a brow in challenge.

Phil hums agains his skin, kissing up his thighs. "Alright, fine," he says finally. He kisses the soft dip of space where Dan's thigh meets his hip. He's so, so close to where Dan really wants him, and Dan makes a low whine in his throat. "Ten years later and you still have no concept of waiting," Phil taunts.

Dan bucks his hips pointedly. "I can wait. I just don't want to," he argues. "Unless... Did you want to..." He gestures vaguely to the chest by the closet where they keep their toys.

Phil smiles but shakes his head. "Not tonight. I think we'll stick to the basics, yeah?"

Dan nods, a little relieved. As much as he loved when they tried new things in the bedroom, he really was quite tired and that kind of exploratory sex took a lot out of him, physically and emotionally. And tonight he's honestly had enough on the emotional front, so he's happy to hear they'll be sticking to what they're best at.

"Do you want to fuck me?" Dan asks, brushing Phil's hair back.

"Yeah," Phil answers simply, mouthing at the skin at the base of Dan's cock. "Do you want me to?"

"Mhm," Dan hums. "Are you gonna suck me off first?"

Phil blinks up at him. "I can, yeah. Do you wanna go twice?"

Dan considers it, then shakes his head. "I'm actually pretty sure I'm gonna pass out the first time I orgasm, so no. But you can blow me while you prep?" Dan suggests cheekily.

Phil narrows his eyes. "You're just trying to get me to do all the work," he complains.

"But Phil," Dan says sweetly, stroking his cheek. "It's my birthday."

"I knew you would use that excuse," Phil sighs. "Go fetch the lube, you brat."

Dan grins, crawling up the bed and rummaging through Phil's drawer. He hears the sound of soft clothes falling in a heap somewhere, probably thrown in a random direction of the floor for them to trip over later. "Here you go, bub," Dan says, handing him the bottle. His gaze rakes over Phil's naked body, smirking appreciatively. "Someone looks happy to see me," he teases, gripping Phil's cock and giving it a few tugs.

Phil groans, swatting his hand away. "Cut it out," he whines. "Your hand's all dry."

Staring Phil dead in the eyes, Dan brings his hand to his mouth, spitting in it and bringing it back to his cock again. "Better?" He asks when Phil's eyelashes flutter.

"Mm," Phil hums, pushing his hips into Dan's hand over and over. "It's good, babe, yeah." His eyes flicker open again, and he smiles softly at Dan, a total contradiction to what they're doing. It makes Dan's skin burn with excitement. There's no preamble to it as Phil leans in and kisses him, wrapping a steadying hand around the back of Phil's neck. Dan sneaks his tongue into Phil's mouth, licking excitedly. "Lie back, love," Phil whispers when he pulls away eventually.

Dan does as he's told, making himself comfy on the bed before spreading his legs, holding onto his thighs tightly to keep them there. He watches the way Phil stares at him appreciatively, running the dry tip of his index finger over Dan's perineum and tracing over his hole. "Lovely," he murmurs.

"Fuck off," Dan says, voice full of affection.

Phil smiles down at him. He bends, kissing the bend of Dan's knee. "Ready?" He asks, popping the cap on the bottle and spreading the lube over his fingers.

"Mhm," Dan hums, wiggling his bum. "C'mon."

"Bossy," Phil mutters, circling Dan's rim for a moment before gently pressing. Dan sighs as that lovely finger slips inside, nearly without any pause. He's so used to being full these days, when their days are filled with little to do other than have sex and wonder when life will go back to how it was before. But he's not thinking about that right now. Now, right now he's thinking about the way Phil's finger stretches him open just right, how his added finger slides in just the way he needs it too in order for it to feel really good.

"Good?" Phil asks after a few minutes, glancing up at Dan's eyes.

"God, yes," Dan gasps. "So good. Go ahead and add a third."

Phil complies without second-guessing him, and Dan nearly goes cross-eyed at the burn of the stretch. It's so fucking good. Phil's still cautious and slow, his movements gentle even as Dan begs for more, faster. It's at moments like this, when Phil puts Dan's wellbeing and safety over his own desires, that Dan really appreciates how he really is the perfect partner.

For some reason, he feels like now is a good time. to share that thought. "Phil," he moans.

"Mm?" Phil replies, sounding distracted.

He taps at Dan's prostate then, and Dan loses his train of thought for a second. "You're perfect," he mumbles when he remembers.

"What?" Phil laughs, his eyes glittering with amusement.

Dan feels too good to feel embarrassed for how seemingly random his outburst is. "I love you so much," Dan murmurs. "You're so good to me."

Phil kisses his knee again. slowing the movements of his hand. "I love you too, baby. Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?"

"No," Dan says vehemently. "No, keep going. You can fuck me now, I'm good."

He feels the loss keenly when Phil pulls his fingers out completely. "Are you sure?" He asks, stroking Dan's thighs.

Dan nods. "Yeah, I want it to hurt a little."

Phil rolls his eyes. He himself didn't usually like it when he could feel the burn, but Dan was an odd one like that. "How do you want it?" He asks. Dan waggles his eyebrows suggestively and Phil huffs. "Don't make it weird," he says.

Dan only laughs before rolling over onto his side. "Could you, like... Stand on the side of the bed and do it from there? Or lay down behind me?"

There's something fond in Phil's gaze as he leans down and kisses Dan's chest. "Sure, bub." He climbs off the bed and tugs Dan back towards him by his hips. There's a moment of pause where he lubes himself up, Dan assumes, and then there's that familiar pressure at his hole. "Relax," Phil reminds him, pointlessly.

"Yeah," Dan mumbles, arching his back and taking a deep breath to allow his body to go lax and pliant. The slide goes easier, then, and Phil sinks in slowly, stretching him just enough for Dan to feel the stretch. He moans quietly, covering his face with his arm to quiet the noises. They've had many complaints from neighbors over the years, and he's learned the measures to take in order to quiet himself a little more.

He's surprised to feel Phil shove his hand away from his mouth. "Don't do that," Phil quips. "Be as loud as you want, tonight."

Dan feels his chest flush at the words. That was new, for them. "Is this what all engaged sex is like?" He says breathlessly as Phil slowly begins moving his hips, trying to give Dan plenty of time to adjust before fucking him properly.

Phil laughs behind him. and then he feels hot breath against his neck. "Soon," he whispers. "When we have a home of our own, with no nosy neighbors. Then you can make all the noises you want."

The idea sends a shiver down Dan's spine and he clenches around Phil's cock. "Fuck," he whines when Phil grinds against him helplessly. "You can move, baby, go ahead."

Phil kisses his shoulder. He keeps his lips there, pressing open kisses against the skin stretched across his shoulder blade as he starts properly fucking him, hips knocking against Dan's ass with a noise that leaves very little to the imagination. The position, paired with the way Phil's cock naturally curves, has him hitting Dan's prostate on every thrust, something they generally have to work a little harder for.

"So good, fuck," Dan gasps, clutching at the sheets as he pushes his ass back against Phil, matching him for every thrust. "Fuck, I'm not gonna last long, Phil."

"Me either," Phil replies. The confirmation that they're both right there together has Dan's eyes rolling back in pleasure. Sex with Phil is always earth-shattering for him, but there's just something about sex with Phil when they're both this happy, this in love- it makes things about a hundred times more intense.

Dan is working his ass back as much. as he can lying on his side, but eventually he feels a cramp in his side and has to give it a rest. He's already close, but he needs something else to get him there. Reaching back blindly, he grabs Phil's hand, guiding it down to his cock. "Touch me," he begs.

"You needy little thing," Phil teases playfully.

Those words don't spark joy the way they sometimes do and Dan whines. Phil, who knows every nuance of sound Dan's ever made, understands immediately.

"I love you," He whispers in Dan's ear, slowing his thrusts. Instead of hard and fast, he starts going slow and deep, pumping Dan's dick at the same pace, thumbing at the head on every upstroke, just how Dan likes it. "You're so good for me, every time. So good. Love you so much."

Dan keens under the affection, baring his neck for attention, which Phil immediately gives, licking and sucking at the skin there with a heat and focus that Dan didn't expect from him, considering the other tasks literally in his hands. "I'm-" Dan cuts himself off with a moan. "Gonna come, gonna come," he pants, bucking his hips into Phil's fist.

"Let it go, bub," Phil whispers to him, kissing his neck. "I've got you."

And that's what gets him. Just that affection, that reassurance, is the sexiest thing Phil could ever say. Dan's a goner, releasing into Phil's hand with a punched out sigh. "Fuck," he whines as he works himself through the aftershocks. When he's finally finished, he slumps against the bed, exhausted. He can still feel Phil inside him, moving faster now that he's chasing his own release. Dan clenches around him to help, and Phil slows down.

"Want me to stop?" He asks against Dan's throat.

"No," Dan whispers, spreading his legs a little to give Phil a better angle. "I want you to come, too, baby. Go ahead."

Phil kisses his jaw. "Thanks," he mumbles. "Can I-" he pats Dan's thigh like he wants him to move.

Dan falls limp, allowing Phil to maneuver him however he wants. "How do you want me?"

Phil licks his lips. "On your back," he replies. Dan complies immediately, and Phil stays standing, dragging Dan's hips to meet his own. He slides back in smoothly, thrusting at a sloppy pace. Dan can tell he's close. "Can I-" Phil starts, taking Dan's spent cock in his hand.

Dan rolls his eyes, but nods. "I'll never understand it, but go for it, bub."

A giggle falls from Phil's mouth. The paradox of that sweet noise compared to the loud sound of smacking skin echoing in their room has Dan's dick twitching in Phil's hand. He grins. "It's neat. I don't know why I like it either," Phil says with a shrug.

With another roll of his eyes, Dan gestures for him to get on with it. He winces, just a little, at the overstimulation when Phil starts stroking him again, but Dan knows he's close, and he's not about to deny him of that sweet release now. It's almost better like this, he thinks, when Dan's already finished but Phil's still searching for that relief and Dan gets to watch the pleasure, pure and unhidden, as it washes over Phil's face when it finally, finally hits him. His eyes clench shut and he's nearly breathless for a pause before it seems to hit him all at once, and then he's coming inside Dan, squeezing his hand around his cock.

"Fuck, Dan," Phil says with a laugh. Dan's confused at first, until he looks down and realizes what just happened. "You were barely hard that time," Phil says, voice soft and incredulous as he looks down at where Dan has just come a second time, all over his chest.

"Yeah, well," Dan mumbles petulantly. "Shut up," he whines.

Phil laughs, sliding out of him and searching for the baby wipes they keep in the nightstand for this. "I didn't say anything," he argues.

Dan huffs. "Well you don't have to look so fucking pleased with yourself," he replies, crossing his arms as Phil cleans him up gently.

"Sorry," Phil says, not an ounce of actual sorrow in his voice. He tosses the used baby wipes into the bin before patting Dan's thigh. "Shove over, bub."

They get situated in bed together, Dan whining about being cold until Phil pulls the sheet over them. Dan knows, realistically, that he'll be burning up in less than an hour, but for now he just wants a cuddle under the sheets. They lie in blissful silence for a bit until Phil laughs.

"What?" Dan asks, blinking up at him.

Phil gazes at him, smirking. "Can you believe that our whole family knew I was going to propose to you today and they didn't tell you? I'll be honest, I didn't think they had it in them."

Dan sits up. "They... they all knew?" He asks slowly.

Phil nods, looking rather pleased with himself, like a little boy who knows he's gotten away with eating too much candy before dinner. "All of them."

"Even... Even my mum? Nan?" Dan tries to keep the panic out of his voice. He's not mad, he's just... surprised. Overwhelmed. In a good way, mostly, he thinks.

Phil looks a little hesitant now. "Yeah... Was that not okay?"

Dan shakes his head, leaning in to give Phil a reassuring kiss. "No, that's fine. I'm just surprised, is all."

"Yeah?" Phil asked.

Dan nods. "How did they take it?"

Phil grins. "They seemed very happy for us. I, er... I actually talked to your mum about it a while ago."

"How long ago?" Dan asks, warily. After finding out just how long Phil has planned on proposing to him, Dan isn't sure he's ready to hear the answer to this.

"After my birthday," Phil replies, surprising Dan. So, not years ago, which is a relief, especially considering he hadn't been out to his family until last year. "I called her a few days after we talked about it, and asked if she would be okay with me asking you to marry me."

Dan's eyes water at that. "Phil," he says in a very fond, chastising voice. "You asked my mum for permission?"

"No! I mean... Not really," Phil amends. When Dan gives him a disbelieving look, Phil shrugs. "I basically just said I love you and wanted her to know that I intended on marrying you. She was very chill about it."

Dan raises an eyebrow. "What did she say, exactly?" He asks, suspicious.

Phil grins sheepishly. "She said I better intend on it or else I'd just wasted ten years of my life."

There's a pause and then Dan groans, rolling his eyes. "God. She's the worst." He doesn't mean it, not really. Not anymore.

"No, she... It was nice," Phil says, shrugging simply. "We had a nice chat about marriage and you and everything and... I dunno, it was nice. I finally understood what you're always saying about how much you love my mum."

Dan smiles, tucking a strand of Phil's hair back into place. "Yeah?" He asks quietly.

Phil kisses the palm of his hand. "Yeah. It was really nice, talking to the person who birthed my favorite human on earth," Phil says with a wide smile.

Even ten years in, and Dan still flushes with embarrassment, ducking his head and nuzzling against Phil's neck. "Shut up," he whines.

There's a soft kiss pressed to his head. "Happy birthday, Dan," Phil whispers.

And what a happy birthday it was.

#phan #phanfiction #birthday #dan's 29th birthday fic heck yeah #smut #fluff #birthday cuddles #engagement #proposal #2009 first date recreation #quarantine diy date #no angst but lots of cuddles and emotions #this was a very quick and very late fic bc of who i am as a person #no beta either so if there are flaws i apologize i am running on very little sleep these days #enjoy!!#birthday fic

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phanfic · 5 years ago

Note

Do you know the fic where dan goes to martyn and Cornelias wedding and he meets Phil there and they hook up but he finds out Phil isn't out to his family?

is this the fic you’re looking for?

Unveiled (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Dan has been invited as a plus one for a friend to a strangers' wedding.

He's sure he'll feel out of place all night until he meets a handsome stranger at the bar.

-Alexis

#answered #pizza-partyandpoptarts

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phanfictioncatalogue · 5 months ago

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hey guys do you have anything that revolves around either Phil’s or Dan’s family but in a happy cute way? Preferably long pls🩷🩷

Best options will be found in Meeting the Family (2009 edition) imo, but we also have two Kath and Nigel (2) masterlists, two fics including the Lester family (2) Masterlists, a fics including Martyn Masterlist, fics including Martyn and Cornelia masterlist, fics including Kath masterlist, introducing each other to friends/family masterlist, fics including Adrian masterlist, four including the family masterlists (2) (3) (4), and two fics including the Howell family (2)

-Rae

#answered #anonymous

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septic84 · 5 years ago

Link

Chapters: 12/? Fandom: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Dan Howell & Phil Lester Characters: Dan Howell, Phil Lester, Louise Pentland, Hazel Hayes, PJ Liguori, Chris Kendall, Original Characters, Sophie Newton, Martyn Lester, Cornelia Dahlgren Additional Tags: Fluff, Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Foster Care, School Counselor!Dan, BBC Producer!Phil, Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Sharing Clothes, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Parenthood, Eventual Smut, Alcohol Summary:

All his life, Dan has wanted to have the chance to be a parent someday. He would be the best parent that ever existed, he was sure of it. Fostering might not be the most traditional way on the road to parenting, but Dan's dead set on doing it anyway. But, well, it would be easier with a co-parent, right?

the bed-sharing, fake relationship, friends-to-lovers, parent fic i was desperate to read; when i shouted into the void and was met with silence, i decided i'd do it myself

title from Drop in the Ocean by Ron Pope

*****************

This story is adorable, I am in love with it. Read it, you will not be disappointed.

#phanfiction #phan #phanfic rec

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pasteldnp · 6 years ago

Text

Sea of Love

By: pasteldnp

Rating: T (for some cursing)

Length: 6.3k

Summary: After years of preparation, planning, heartbreak, and waiting, Dan and Phil finally get the call that there is a baby for them to adopt.

Note: This fic was written for the @phandomficfests kidfic fest. Thank you so much to my amazing beta @whiskersandquiff for working (and crying) with me over this fic.

The title of this work is inspired by this song; I recommend listening to it during or after you read because it goes with the tone and is a beautiful song.

AO3 or read below

It was another sleepless night and Phil found himself in the nursery. Lately, he wandered into the incomplete room instead of going to the lounge. On more than one occasion, Dan’s found him asleep in the gliding armchair, feet propped up on the pouf, head lolled to the side. It was a shame for such a nice chair to go to waste, but they couldn’t find it in themselves to move it downstairs. It belonged in the baby’s room, even if there was no baby.

Maybe they had gotten ahead of themselves when they decorated the room all that time ago. But they were just so happy; there was no way of knowing how much pain would soon come. After much deliberation, Dan and Phil had agreed to go with an ocean theme for the nursery. They chose pale, sea blue walls with sandy tan carpeting for the floor that Martyn helped install. Cornelia found stencils and painted brightly colored coral, fish, whales, and sea creatures of all kinds on the walls.

Only the best, most stylish furniture was bought, which they struggled to assemble together. The wardrobe was stocked with onesies, booties, bibs, and burp cloths of all colors and designs. Dan steadfastly refused to stick to any gender or style of clothing. A sturdy changing table was prepared with diapers and wipes, a mobile with smiling ocean critters dangled above the crib. Undoubtedly, it was the nicest room in their quiet little house on the outskirts of London.

If only there was a baby to make their home a little less quiet.

They never blamed the first mother, Leann, for deciding not to go through with the adoption. Her precious baby boy was adorable, and after nine months of bonding with the unborn child she just couldn’t give him up. But it hurt. It hurt so much.

Phil still vividly remembered that day. There would be no baby for now, the agent said. But they could try again with another mother, or a closed adoption, maybe an older child; they could try the international wait lists, apply to be a foster family, or perhaps try another agency. There was still hope, still opportunities, the agent said.

Was it so wrong of them to still want the newborn they were promised?

The silence of the house when they returned from the adoption office was too much. Dan made a bee-line for their bedroom, and Phil followed, but they were both brought to a halt in front of the nursery. It was the first room to the left on the second floor, right next to the master. They couldn’t ignore it with the lights on and door open, all prepared and inviting for a tiny new occupant that would never arrive.

Dan slammed the door shut so hard that a photo fell in the hallway. “It’s not fucking fair!”

It was several months before they tried again. And the door to the nursery stayed shut the entire time.

They didn’t know this mother as well as Leann, they didn’t even know her first name. The agent said she was young, a teenager in fact, and she wanted a private, closed adoption. This was supposed to work in their favor; statistically, she would be less likely to fall through. So once again, they got their hopes up.

Cautiously one day they opened the door to the nursery. Dan stood behind Phil, one hand clinging to his waist. To see the room, as happy and beautiful as they left it, as if it was trapped back in time, was a punch to the gut. There was even a fresh onesie still laid out on the changing table. The hand on Phil’s waist squeezed tighter as Dan choked back a sob. But they had to do this. They cracked the windows and aired out the space, the breeze bringing with it new life to Dan and Phil.

“We’ll have a baby this time,” Phil whispered. And they allowed themselves to truly believe it.

When the second mother went back on the adoption, they were less forgiving. She was still a kid, with a whole life ahead of her, and Dan and Phil were adults with settled lives. They wanted that baby. They deserved that baby. It seemed like the whole world was working against them to keep them from becoming the parents they desperately wanted to be.

They couldn’t bear to go through another failed adoption. The nursery was shut away again. Dan went through a particularly rough spell with his depression, and Phil felt a crushing meaninglessness surround him. They didn’t try again with a different mom, they didn’t go to a new agency, they didn’t look internationally. There wasn’t a point if their child could just be taken away from them.

Dan was the one to open that cursed door again. It had been over three years since they first applied with an agency, almost one year since the second failed adoption. Phil wasn’t sure why Dan went into the room in the first place, and maybe there was no real reason, but he found his husband sitting in the center of the floor.

“Love, what are you doing?” Phil asked, peering in from the entryway.

“Sitting here.”

“I see that,” he walked in and sat down next to Dan, “I thought we didn’t come in here.”

“Yeah, but that seems dumb. It’s a whole room of our house.”

“A room we don’t have a use for.”

Dan turned and looked at him straight on, a challenging look in his eyes. “Do you still want kids?”

It was the ultimate question they never dared to ask each other. Was he willing to go through everything again? Was he willing to go through the files, paperwork, lawyers, social workers, and mothers and babies; to lay his hope, heart, and home bare, when there was still a chance it would all be crushed?

Phil collapsed into Dan’s side, burying his head in Dan’s shoulder. “Yes, I do, so much.”

“Do you want to try adopting again?” Dan asked, his voice barely a whisper. He could hear how the fear was gripping at Dan’s lungs, stealing his breath.

“I just… I don’t know if I can make it through that. I can’t go through another lost adoption, it would truly kill me,” Phil sighed. Why did it have to be so hard for them?

Dan lightly shrugged Phil off his shoulder so they could see each other, and he brushed his fingers along Phil’s cheek and up through his quiff. “How about this; we keep the nursery door open from now on and we think about it. If it’s too much we’ll give away all this stuff and redo the room, or we’ll make an appointment with the social worker and see what our options are.”

“I like that idea.”

Eventually, they decided to try for one final time. Dan and Phil met with Kate, their new agent, and a social worker visited them, and they were approved once more for adoption. The plans were in motion now, but they held back from rushing to choose a new mother. In the meantime, their name was put on a list to be called if a newborn was found for them, but they were told that was unlikely. So that was how Phil found himself sitting in the nursery tonight, flipping through a thick file of mothers expecting a child they didn’t intend to keep.

Sometimes it was too much – all the sad memories suffocating him in a room meant for joy. But times like tonight, it filled him with peace. If they never got their baby, they would be okay. Life went on. But as they neared that dream again there was still hope for them. Still a final chance for it all to come true. Yet they were hesitant to believe in it.

The gentle rock of the glider was swaying Phil to sleep when he heard his phone vibrate on the side table. The call was from a number he didn’t recognize immediately, and it was the early hours of the morning. Fear rose up in his stomach as worst-case scenarios flashed through his head. Calls at this hour never meant anything good.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Phil, this is Kate from the London Private Adoption Centre,” a perky, female voice responded.

“Oh, Kate, hello,” he said, a bit confused.

“I’m so sorry for calling this early, I hope I didn’t wake you. But it’s a time-sensitive matter.”

“Um, it’s fine, what is it?”

“Well, I know you and Dan were taking your time to look over the applications, but you did place your name in our active waiting registry, and you’ve been matched with an infant for adoption.”

Phil swore he could feel his heart stop beating in that very moment.

“A healthy baby girl was unexpectedly placed up for adoption with our agency last night. She was born yesterday, doesn’t have a name yet, and the birth mother has expressed her desire that the child is placed with loving parents who haven’t gotten a baby yet. I’m with them now and I think she would be the perfect fit for you and Dan. If you’re interested-”

“Yes, yes, of course, we’re interested.” Phil didn’t let her finish the sentence; he didn’t even let himself think about what he was saying. Dan was still in the other room asleep; this was something they needed to agree to together. But instinct told him that he had to say yes, that this was right.

Kate laughed. “You can come to hospital in the morning, meet her, and speak with a social worker and myself. The child will be placed with a temporary family until you’re ready. And if you decide it’s not right, we can continue with the other plans just as well.”

“Can we take her home today?” The question didn’t sound real coming from his lips.

“You’ve already had a home visit and been approved, so yes, but it’s entirely okay if you need more time to make arrangements. Or you can wait to come to hospital until later in the afternoon if you only need a few hours, there are no visiting restrictions for-”

“Does now work?” He interrupted again, filled with a sudden sense of urgency. There was a baby that could be theirs waiting for them.

“Yes, you can take her home now, I think she would like that just fine,” Kate agreed happily. She finished giving him the information for the hospital, which Phil put in the notes on his phone, and then they hung up.

He sat in the armchair, frozen. The nursery was still dark, but the first rays of sunrise peeked in through the curtains, casting a shadow on the wall across from him. Phil stared at his shadow and tried to breathe, clutching his phone tightly. Only a few minutes ago he was enjoying the comfort of a possibility that was now rapidly becoming a reality: they were getting a baby.

“Oh my god,” Phil whispered before springing up into action. “DAN!” He rushed into their bedroom.

“Bloody hell Phil, is the house on fire?” Dan said groggily, turning over in bed. “It’s four in the morning.”

Phil kneeled by Dan’s side and clutched his arm to get his attention. “The adoption people just called.”

“What?” Dan’s scraggly morning voice caught in his throat and he looked over his shoulder at Phil with surprise.

“They found us a baby, Dan, a baby girl. Kate said she was perfect for us, she just got put up for adoption and she needs a family. They called us because we were on that list thing and we were a match. I said we would go see her and take her home, like, now.” His words were rushed, and Dan looked more confused than anything.

“A newborn?” Dan asked.

“Yes.”

“For us?”

“Yes.”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

“Holy shit.” Dan kicked the covers off and sat up on the edge of the bed. His eyes were wide and afraid. “Are we even ready for that? Can we just take home a baby out of nowhere?”

“This is all we’ve ever wanted. We have a whole nursery and everything we need all waiting there, and we did want to go on the list. This feels right, doesn’t it?” Phil desperately wanted him to agree, for it to be definite that they would adopt this baby.

“No one can take her from us?”

The same fear nagged at Phil too, born out of the devastation of two failed adoptions. But he shook his head. She was all theirs.

“We’re going to have a baby.” A wide, unbelievably happy smile slowly spread across Dan’s face. It had been a long time since Phil had seen him smile like that, and he leaned in and kissed Dan, off-center and full of so much delight that they broke apart grinning like idiots.

“We need to get ready, I said we would be there soon,” Phil said and pulled Dan to stand up.

“Christ, Phil, why did you say that?! We don’t have everything together; the car seat isn’t even installed!”

“It’ll be fine. I’ll get a bag together in the nursery, you get our things and the carrier.” They left their bedroom to prepare, and Phil hurried into the adjacent room, but Dan ran past him and down the stairs. “Dan, where are you going?” He called out over the railing.

Dan stopped at the foot of the stairs, and looked around frantically, before turning and calling back, “I don’t know!”

“You’re still shirtless, get dressed!”

Frazzled, they rushed around getting ready. Phil found a diaper bag in the wardrobe and stuffed it with everything he could think their baby might need—nappies, a binkie, a soft onesie to change into, and a blanket. Kate said they would have formula and some other extras to send home with them as well. Dan shoved their electronic accessories in the bag, complaining about hospital wait times, and then threw jeans at Phil for him to change into. Dan took the bag and found the carrier sitting in a corner, shouting that he would take it all out to the car while Phil finished getting ready.

When Phil made it outside, carrying the keys Dan forgot, he saw his husband hanging out of the back seat, one leg kicked in the air behind him.

“Babe, come on, we need to go,” Phil said.

“I can’t get the damn car seat in place,” Dan grunted, as he jostled the plastic base around.

“Someone there can help us, I’m sure.”

Dan abandoned the task and turned to face Phil with a puff of breath; car seats were not easy. They stood there for a moment, and Dan shifted under the intense, dreamy gaze Phil was giving him.

“What?”

“Let’s go meet our baby,” Phil whispered excitedly and leaned in to kiss Dan’s cheek. He slipped the keys into Dan’s palm as he did, and then pulled away and walked to the other side of the car.

The first half of the drive was silent except for the occasional map directions speaking from Dan’s phone. Phil’s eyes were fixed on the road, but his brain was entirely somewhere else. That wasn’t unusual for him, but now he wasn’t sure if he was even on the same plane of existence as he was a mere hour ago. He ran through several mental checklists, trying to remember if they forgot anything, what they needed to get, and who they needed to call the moment they had a chance.

He forgot to pack a hat. Babies needed hats, right? They always seemed to come wearing one. It was only September, but what if her head was cold? There was also a long list of things to buy, and it lengthened by the minute. More clothes, more bottles, more nappies, more toys, more of everything. The list of people to call was easier. Dan’s mum first because she was the closest and could come by almost immediately if they needed. Then Phil’s mum right after, and texts to their respective siblings. Between just those four, they could get the word to all their other family members. Their manager and closest friends would be the last to contact, but he remembered to put Louise high on the list of friends because she would have lots of hand-me-downs that she would be glad to give them.

But the to-do lists were just an easy way to occupy his brain. There was a litany of “ we’re getting a baby ” repeating in the back of his head, but much louder was the worried “ we’re raising a baby .”

“Are we crazy? We can’t raise a baby,” Phil blurted.

Dan glanced over at him. He didn’t look any more confident, which his strained grip on the steering wheel suggested. “You’re going to be the most amazing parent, Phil. You’re so sweet and loving, and caring; she’s going to be so loved by you and safe with you.”

Phil looked away with a tiny smile and rose-tinted cheeks. After 16 years, Dan still made him blush so hard it hurt.

He reached out and rubbed Dan’s arm and quietly said, “You’re going to be incredible too.”

“We’ll be the best damn parents in this whole world.”

Phil giggled. He wasn’t too sure of that- there was still a matter of clumsiness that no number of parenting classes could help him overcome- but the confidence was in the right place.

As they turned into the hospital car park, Phil’s anxiety spiked.

“Oh shit, this is real,” Dan said, pulling into a spot.

“Yeah,” Phil breathed.

He didn’t move to leave the car once it was turned off, and neither did Dan. They were both desperately trying to get their nerves under control, or at least to a point where walking through the front doors didn’t feel like the most daunting task imaginable. This was the Before, on the other side of that threshold was the After.

“Are you ready?” Dan asked.

“God no.”

“Neither am I.”

They turned to look at each other at the same time; a shared life of moments like this coordinated their instincts. Scared-but-excited smiles pulled at both their lips.

“I’ll get the baby bag,” Phil said.

“And I’ll get the carrier,” Dan finished. “Let’s fucking do this.”

Adrenaline took over as they got their new baby’s belongings and entered the building. A lady at the big desk in the front lobby told them where to go, and up a lift they went. They wove through the corridors of the second floor to a nurses’ station between the maternity ward and the NICU. A man was there, and he tried to understand them as Dan and Phil failed miserably at explaining themselves before Kate found them.

She was a tall woman in her forties, with straightened brunette hair and matching dark eyes. Cranberry red lipstick matched her blouse, which was paired with a black blazer, dress pants, and pointy heels.

Kate greeted them warmly, almost as excited as they were. She guided them to the side of the nurse's station where there were chairs for them to sit. A different woman took their information and asked them questions, beginning the long chain of paperwork in the final stretch of the adoption process. At last, she printed off chipped ID bracelets that corresponded to their baby’s bracelet so they could all leave together.

Baby Lester-Howell .

Dan and Phil both gasped quietly, as the anxiety suddenly overpowered the adrenaline, and they were hurtled back into reality.

“Have you thought of a name yet?” Kate asked.

Phil knew they forgot something more than a baby hat. They forgot to discuss names.

“Umm…” Dan blanked.

Both Kate and the woman taking their information laughed.

“That’s okay,” Kate said, “you haven’t even seen her yet, I think that might help you come up with a name. Are you ready to meet your baby?”

“Yes,” they both said eagerly.

Kate motioned for them to go, and they scrambled to pick up the bag and carrier that Kate had already assured them was great.

They were led down another corridor and the agent explained some more to them, bouncing along the hall.

“We’ve moved her to a private room for you; a nurse is there now. The birth mother declined to meet you both, which as I said on the phone to Phil, was to be expected. Baby should be sleeping now and depending on how quick the paperwork is processed, you should be able to leave within the hour while she’s still sleeping. Or at least, that’s the goal. If not, I’m sure a nurse would be glad to help you feed her. Speaking of, we have a little goody bag for you boys to take with you.”

She slowed down in front of door 2817. Dan and Phil were holding hands, and their grasp on each other tightened. Phil’s breaths were quick, and he could already feel himself start to shake, and he wasn’t sure if that was from excitement or fear or both. But he had Dan’s touch grounding him, reminding him that they could do this.

A fundamental change in the fabric of their lives was about to happen. And they were more ready for it than they ever knew.

She opened the door into a small, dimly lit, pink room. There were some chairs, a counter and cupboard, and a glass bassinet. A young nurse stood over the bassinet and gestured for them to enter.

At 5:42 in the morning on the 19 th of September 2025, Dan and Phil saw their newborn baby girl and fell in love.

So overwhelmingly, unbelievably, and truly in love.

Nothing else mattered anymore, only this tiny, precious human they were forever devoted to. They never wanted to look away from her.

“Would you like to hold your daughter?” The nurse asked the couple.

They nodded their heads eagerly and Dan stepped forward. Phil was okay with that; his hands were still shaking and he didn’t want to mess up holding the fragile newborn in front of Kate and the nurse.

Carefully, the woman picked up the child and transferred her into Dan’s arms with practiced ease, and Phil heard him gasp quietly with awe. Seeing his husband hold their daughter- it took the breath right out of him. He never knew it was possible to be this in love. There was Dan, with his messy, curly hair, and a wrinkly jumper fished out of the laundry basket, and their baby, swaddled tightly in a pink-and-green-striped white blanket. Phil wrapped his arm around Dan’s waist, and they stared in wonder at their sleeping little bundle.

She was so small, smaller than a loaf of bread, nestled safely in Dan’s cradled arms. Her face was flushed pink, and tiny crescent eyelids were shut peacefully. Her little button nose was adorable, and her wrinkled lips were open so slightly in a sleepy pout. A pink hat was pulled over her head to the tips of her ears (he was relieved she already had a hat), but he could see dark curly hair escaping from under it. He hoped so much that her hair would stay like that, like Dan’s.

“We’ll give you two a moment,” Kate said before she and the nurse quietly left the room.

It was just the three of them now. Dan, Phil, and baby Lester-Howell. The new family of three. Nothing could compare to the surge of emotions Phil felt. Not their tours, coming out, or even their wedding day. It was the two of them, stood in a strange hospital room very early in the morning, both scared shitless, holding their daughter, that was the best moment of his life.

“She’s perfect,” Dan gasped. His voice was shaky, and Phil saw welled up tears clinging to his eyelashes.

He brushed them away for Dan, and said, “And she’s ours,” in complete disbelief.

With the hand not holding the infant, Dan gingerly stroked her arm that was tucked away in the blanket and started to speak to her.

“Hi baby,” his voice cracked, “we’re your dads.”

Phil leaned his head on Dan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry we don’t have a name for you yet.”

“Yeah, I promise we’ll think of something as perfect and beautiful as you are.”

“I think Phillipa is a great name,” Phil joked.

Dan laughed softly. “Don’t worry, I won’t let him name you that.” He paused and sniffed, and Phil could tell he was also fighting off the urge to cry. “And I promise that you are so loved. From the very moment we saw you, we loved you, and will never stop loving you.”

His heart melted with Dan’s incredibly sweet words. Phil took Dan’s face in his hand and turned it so they could kiss, tears falling down their cheeks and into the cracks of chapped lips. He tried to communicate the indescribable feeling of love he felt for his husband in the firm, passionate press of his lips and a tight hug.

They both broke away to look back down at their baby – nothing could stop the intense need to stare at her for every possible moment. There was a faint knock at the door shortly later, and Dan quickly wiped his tears away as Kate and the nurse walked back in.

“The paperwork is done. Once you’re ready, you can dress her and take her home,” Kate said, gesturing to the bag and carrier that they set aside.

“Did you hear that baby? You get to go home ,” Phil told her, his voice light and happy.

Dan set their child back down in her bassinet while Phil dug into the baby bag for an outfit. He held up the footie pajamas once he found them, which were purple with white polka dots.

“Are you okay to try dressing her yourself? I can help if you need.” The nurse suggested.

“I think I’ve got it,” Phil said. It had been a while since they had taken the parenting class, but he was determined to get this right. With Kate, the nurse, and Dan watching he really didn’t want to mess it up.

Slowly, he unfolded the blanket that she was swaddled in. Underneath she was only wearing a thin, short-sleeved onesie, which definitely wouldn’t be warm enough to take her home in.

“Look at those tiny little baby toes!” Dan squealed in a high-pitched voice. He reached out and ran his finger along the bottom of her foot, and her toes instinctively curled inwards.

“That’s one of her infant reflexes,” Kate pointed out, “she’ll do the same thing if you put your finger in her hand.”

Dan did what she said and, sure enough, the baby’s hand grasped around his pinkie. Then Dan leaned over and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand, and Phil wasn’t sure how he was going to survive if every moment like this made his heart beat three times faster.

Once his husband stepped aside, Phil continued to change her into her outfit to leave. The nurse helped show him the best way to support her head and how to guide her hands and feet through the holes. She was so delicate, her skin so soft; Phil was afraid he was going to hurt her with his awkward clumsiness. But Dan looked on from behind him and pressed an affirming kiss on his shoulder when he successfully zipped up the pajamas.

“So precious. Just pop her into the carrier and we can be on our way,” Kate said. “I’ll help and follow you down to your car, make sure you have everything you need, and you’ll be free to go home with her.”

“Um about the car seat-” Dan started.

“I think we need a little bit of help trying to get that secure,” Phil finished for him, remembering Dan’s fight with the cumbersome plastic base and seat belt.

Kate laughed lightly. “That won’t be a problem, they’re a bit difficult to figure out the first time around. Let me know if you have the same problem with the pram.”

Kate and the nurse waited for them to move her into the carrier, and Phil stalled. He still hadn’t picked up their baby yet, but everything felt like a test with the two women watching over them. Could they figure out the most basic of parenting tasks without screwing up and looking like failures who didn’t know how to take care of their child? He knew it was all in his head, and they were there to help, but Kate had two sons and the nurse was an actual baby professional. They knew what inadequacy looked like, and had the power to determine that they were indeed inadequate.

Phil looked over at Dan, who heard his telepathic call for help, and took charge. His husband didn’t look any less nervous, but he was the more practiced of the two at holding babies. Phil made himself look helpful by pushing back the arm of the carrier and gathering their bags, while Dan slowly moved her from her bed without waking her.

“Thank you,” Phil whispered so only Dan could hear.

They left the room and the nurse waved goodbye and headed elsewhere. He wished he remembered her name, she was so kind and helpful, but his mind was a bit preoccupied with baby names. Kate began explaining their next steps to them again, making sure they were prepared for the rest of the process.

“Today begins the 10-week intermediate period. There will be a social worker to visit you in the next few days to check up on how things are going. You’ll also need to be in contact with your lawyer, who can also explain to you what to do once you’ve picked a name. And once those ten weeks are up, you can apply for the adoption court order.”

She continued on, but Phil wasn’t paying attention. Too much needed to be done, and all he wanted to do was stare at their sleeping bundle of joy. She was undisturbed by the busy corridors and jerky movements of the lift, peaceful as she swayed back and forth with Dan’s stride. Kate helped fix their car seat and showed them how to latch the carrier into their base, and gave them a bag of baby things to help get them started. It felt as if she had told them a million times now that if they needed anything or had any questions to give her a ring, but finally they were leaving.

Phil was sitting in the back seat next to the baby, and he occasionally saw Dan glance at them through the rearview mirror.

“This is unreal,” Dan said, “I can’t believe this.”

“Neither can I,” Phil sighed, his eyes not leaving their daughter.

“We have a baby .”

Phil stroked her soft pink cheek. “And she’s perfect.”

“We’re parents to a perfect little baby girl.”

Phil’s eyes widened as the weight of it sunk in. They were parents now. He really wished he had gotten sleep last night, he had no idea when he would get to sleep again. “I literally can’t stop staring at her.”

“I can’t stop staring at you.”

Phil smiled and looked up at Dan through the mirror. “Keep your eyes on the road, you spoon, we’ve got precious cargo.”

Phil’s teasing didn’t phase Dan’s sappiness. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

They weren’t too far from their street when Phil noticed the baby start to wake, and suddenly he was met with two tired blue eyes.

“She opened her eyes!” Phil gasped, “Oh, Dan, they’re so pretty and blue.”

“What? She’s awake?” Dan glanced over his shoulder, but he had to keep driving.

Her eyes shut again and she flailed her arms, her delicate features scrunching up.

“Oh no she’s not happy.”

A piercing cry filled the car, and their new parent bliss was now new parent panic.

“It’s okay baby. Shh, shhh. Everything must be so new and scary, yeah, I know. But I’m your dad, and your daddy is driving us home. It’s okay, shhhh.” Phil tried to comfort her. “ Dannn , it’s not working.” He said to his husband, stressed and worried.

“Shit, I’m turning the corner we’re almost there.”

“Dan! Tiny baby ears!” He scolded.

“Fuck- no- crap, I’m sorry.”

Their baby was still crying, and Phil was doing everything he could think of to quiet her while they were still in the car. Dan made suggestions from the driver's seat as he sped up faster and faster. He remembered what Kate said about her grasping reflex, and Phil tried to hold her hand, but she would not quiet.

The minute the car stopped in front of their house, Phil unbuckled her and picked her up. All he wanted was to hold her close and comfort her, completely forgetting about all the anxiety he had earlier when they were with Kate and the nurse.

Her tears wet his shirt as he held her against his chest and bounced a little in his seat. Dan leaned around from the front, arching awkwardly as he helped push the binkie that he fished from the baby bag into her mouth. Together they had stopped her crying, and although she was still fussy, she was quiet.

“If you get the door, I’ll just carry her inside. Oh, and get the carrier and the bags too,” Phil instructed Dan. He didn’t know where his sudden confidence came from, but he wanted to keep her quiet until they could make a bottle.

Dan helped him out of the car and carried their things to the front door, gracelessly dropping it all once they got inside, turning his attention Phil and the baby. “Do you got her? Is she okay?”

“I think so, yeah.” He looked down at their daughter, who was clinging like a koala to his chest. “This is your new home,” Phil whispered to her, turning so she could look around.

“Oh, Phil, her eyes look so much like yours.”

“And did you see she has curly brown hair like you.”

It was only a coincidence, but they smiled widely at each other. They would spend a lifetime pointing out every way that she reminded them of each other. Maybe they weren’t biological resemblances, but she was still their daughter in every way.

The baby rubbed her head against Phil’s chest, losing her pacifier, and fussed. The brief moment of tender calm gone, they went back to work. Dan made a bottle, checking and rechecking the instructions on the side of the formula can. Phil walked around their lounge, bouncing the baby, and stopped at anything that seemed to catch her attention.

Dan handed Phil the bottle when it was done. “Do you want to go upstairs to her room and feed her? I’ll start some coffee and call my mum.” He pressed a kiss on the baby’s head, and then another to Phil’s cheek.

There was something entirely different about being in the nursery now. The morning sun was high in the sky, and his shadow stretched across the floor. Only a few hours ago he was sitting in the same glider in the same room, but the shape of his shadow was childless.

Now he had a little baby in his arms, happily sucking at her bottle. It took a few tries, but eventually, he was able to get her to latch on and start eating. Phil couldn’t begin to describe the overcoming emotions he felt. He was proud of himself for getting her to calm down and eat, and even picking her up and holding her felt like a victory. Some kind of fatherhood instincts Phil never knew he had kicked in and taken over his insecurities. He was also unbelievably tired, and he gratefully listened to the sound of Dan making coffee downstairs. And Phil was happy. More than happy. His heart felt full of life and joy and promise. Everything was finally right as Phil looked down at his daughter, who he loved so much he didn’t even know how it was possible.

Phil must have zoned out while staring at her, and looked up in surprise when he saw Dan leaning against the door frame. He had two mugs of coffee in his hands and was watching Phil and the baby with the most adoring gaze.

Despite the love practically pouring out of Dan’s eyes, Phil felt insecure again.

“How am I doing? Does this look okay?” He asked Dan, unsure of how well he was holding and feeding her.

“Aw, Phil,” Dan cooed. He set their coffee down and pulled the footrest up to sit beside him. “It’s just right. She’s happy and eating, and you did that all by yourself.”

“But you have so much more confidence with this stuff than me. I don’t wanna mess it up, and there’s so much to do. We don’t even have a name.” He sighed, worry tugging at his brow.

Dan squeezed Phil’s arm comfortingly. “I don’t wanna mess her up either. I’m so so scared. But I know we’ll figure it out together, right?”

He nodded, so grateful for Dan. They were great partners- in comedy, business, and life- and now they would be great partners at parenting. He knew that to be a fact.

“And actually, I think I have a name,” Dan said.

“You do?”

He whispered the name in Phil’s ear, and as they looked down at their newborn baby girl together, they knew the name fit.

“It’s perfect.”

A lot had gone into their nursery.

There was paint, carpeting, and furniture. But there was also tears, joy, disappointment, anger, love, and four long years of waiting.

The name Clara was stenciled in on the wall above the crib where Dan and Phil’s daughter now slept.

The room, and their family, was finally complete.

#phanfiction #phan #parent!phan #adoption #parenthood #phandomficfests #kidfic fest

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