#Damn i hope they're forced to play a woman in a video game SO MUCH that their balls fucking resorb

[kurp-stuff]

Ugh i left another lengthy reply under a comment about the assassin's creed shadows announce on youtube. I swear this shit is getting me mad.

[exoticalmonde]

I've seen one (1) Shenpai video of her playing Baldur's Gate 3, alongside creating a character with @notanegrill for his second play (first play didn't work out so well) and I am already in love with Astarion.

I'm an Astarion enjoyer and damn it not again with the white hair and pointy eared guys who can charm my shoes off in ten or less words. He sees us as food that should not be as attractive but he is a little babo shnookums and he is such a pathetic little thing that I can't help it. He can't say 'CAN I HAVE JUST A LITTLE TASTE' with those tired watery eyes and not expect me to cave in like a caprisun you sucked the air from.

All to the reluctant acceptance of some.

And the support of others.

Can't wait to dream about him.

On the flip side of the 'See mode' tab,

Speaking of dreams we got a real handsome boy this time around and they're so adorable!! I think we named him Asher and he's a Bard, which V didn't expect would matter too much until he realized that being a Wizard was easier to study that alien technology/language while trying to save that other woman. Wow names will be so hard starting from now.

I didn't save any screenshots of his final looks but maybe V will be able to provide eventually. Until then, have some of our conversations during the 2 hour long character creation.

---

V: *Reconsidering his Invitation to have me watch his stream and help make a character while I force him to check every class and read their traits so he could learn*

Me: *Waxing about the traits of Elves/Drow/Half-elves being the same which leaves him with aesthetics to work with.*

V: *Checking out the male and female body types of them in silent appreciation.*

---

Me: *Having hoped he'd show me the genital options because I saw way too many memes and was curious.*

V: *Doesn't even take their clothes off other than to show female dragonborn have cake*

Me: "Fighter is... Well... The most generic role, I guess, around the Archer/Ranger class"

---

V: *Sincerely* "I don't want to be a cutie patootie."

---

V: "Imagine, someone made a human fighter in this game."

Me: "That's like asking for bread with salt."

---

V: "Mmmm... I don't think I like the Monk class very much."

Me: "Surprising, considering you're such a monk-ey. Ahaha- Haha-" *Noticing V stopped moving the mouse around* "V, no, V, don't hang up! Pleasepleasepleaseplease... don't hang up, please!"

---

V: "Are these *points at purple* the shades of a Drow?"

Me: "Generally yeah, I think?" *Surprised I see the 'general' skin shades are also going into normal human skintones*

V: "What if I- OH! NO!"

Me: *Guffawing at snow white princess drow*

---

V: *Clicking through every imaginable hairstyle top to bottom* "This is the first game where changing the hairstyle actually makes the character look different."

Me: *Watching Asher go from pig tails to balding head* "Yeah, yeah, it's like it's a different person every time you click on one."

Both of us: *Silently admiring two hair styles, one of which is very ME and the other being very HIS type*

---

V: "How about we make the Guardian your style now!?"

Me:

---

I don't know if she's meant to have a name but she is so pretty, I think we ended up making her a Wood Elf so we played along with the forest aesthetic.

I love her.

Also this is the Shenpai video. I forgot Im a fan of her content because it's so fun to watch and the reactions are 1 to 1 with what I would have done. Love the content, the creator, actually the bestest experience of actual gameplay.

[eph-em-era]

When I was at high school we did a version of Joan of Arc that was set at the end of the world. A dystopia, about a burning world and royalty and love. That play would have probably done damn well with a non-binary Joan actually, because so much of that narrative was about bodily autonomy, about being forced to be impregnated, to carry on the population. About forced femininity. A Joan who doesn't feel right in their own skin already, even before the whole dystopia thing - it would have worked.

I'm saying this cause this story has been adapted for years and will continue to be adapted long after you're gone. There's been at least seven films and presumably countless other pieces of media about her.

Hamlet, Othello, Lear, Macbeth, Malvolio, kings and queens, Alexander the Great, Cleopatra, Coriolanus. Royalty, historical icons, real or not. They've all been queered or cross-cast. All their stories have been told in beautiful, different, interesting ways - ways that have unlocked discussion, created different narratives, explored their worlds in a way that makes them feel more alive than just some sentences on a page. How does Malvolio become more sympathetic as a woman? What does queering do to the story of Macbeth? What happens if Puck is non-binary?

Adaptation brings stories back to life, and reignites passion in a subject.

Hell, I've played a crosscast Prospero on stage. Taking a role that's historically masculine and splitting it between two (then) cis-identified woman actors? That's giving characters layers you didn't expect.

I, Joan is not erasing the historical woman. It's providing a different angle on the story. Y'all sound like those guys who get mad when there's a lead woman in a video game by whining about the character using they/them pronouns and having complicated gender feelings. Oh no, one portrayal of a person is doing a different thing? Shock horror. The world's going to end. Fucking get over yourselves.

No real person ever is going to google Joan of Arc and think "omg she was non-binary" because of this play. it's not erasure, it's adaptation. it's expression, it's THEATRE, not the real world. it's not "literally 1984". - because a) most of yall who say something's like 1984 have never read it, and b) people aren't trying to tell you that Joan of Arc wasn't a cis woman. They're saying "if you think the abstract concept of Joan being non-binary is interesting, come and see this play". And I do. I find that idea very interesting.

If anything, a young person seeing this play could very easily become interested in the real Joan of Arc's story and seek it out after seeing the play.

Adaptation breeds discussion and creativity. It interests audiences in things that they mightn't have cared about. I'm not going to see a play about my hometown's history because I don't really care about it, but I'd see a play that discusses the queer icons that grew up here, cause there's something relatable to latch onto.

TERFs, radfems, whatever the fuck you call yourselves now - you're not helping. You're not making theatre better or art better or making the world safer or standing up for women, you're harming people.

Cis women get thrown out of toilets all the time because y'all get in a moral panic about tiny genetic factors - shapes of noses, length of hair, omg she has broad shoulders thus she must be a trans spy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - and trans and cis people die because you see gender as a strict line rather than a series of complicated biological factors that have always been more than just two options.

Get the fuck over yourselves. Stop whining and clothing your rhetoric in proto-fascist buzzwords.

With this much internet attention, the show's going to sell out anyway. :) In theatre, any publicity is good publicity, and I certainly hope it gets a repeat season and a digital release.

[im-pok]

Just for fun (and to make these easier to find) I have made a compilation of JSRF quotes!

I did find the quotes from this video by RisingSonic17 on YouTube. I do suggest watching it as it gives more context to the lines:

Keep in mind that some interactions may be missing, as I have never played JSRF and may be unaware of some interactions. Characters and their quotes appear in chronological order according to the video.

Corn:

"This is the GG's Garage. Hey, where's our pizza? Huh? You're not the pizza guy? Oh, you're here to join the GG's, eh? Heh... Tell you what. Find Gum. She's the one you wanna talk to. Just get close to her and pull the 'Right Trigger'. Got it?"

"Why don't you talk to her now?"

"Now, just 'cause you're new don't mean you can act like a big baby. The police are tightening up here, especially since the Rokkaku took over the police force. I know we look crazy 'n all, but even we know to pick our fights. So don't mess things up for the rest of us, got it?"

"Roboy's training changes as your skill level changes, so be on the lookout."

"I had a feeling Poison Jam would have their hideout in the sewers beneath Rokkaku-dai Heights. This is it... looks like the time to throw down has finally come."

"Man, those Poison Jam freaks are out of control. I say we start on Chuo Street and cover everything to Rokkaku-dai Heights and 99th Street in our graffiti. Chuo Street is probably the best place to start."

"Roboy told you, right? If you find a Mystery Tape, you gotta check the GG-notebook. It'll tell you where to find the Graffiti Souls in the area."

"Where the hell is Yoyo? Maybe he freaked out and skipped town? I'm sure he's alright. But we gotta take care of those Immortals. They've been walkin' around like they own the place. We gotta go and cover up all their graffiti."

"I'll send those Immortals back to the grave as many times as I need to!"

"We'll stop those Noise Tanks!"

Gum:

"Poison Jam knows something about Yoyo. I know they do."

"Damn! Punk, I'll get you for that!"

"The fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

"Here they come. The crazies from the Golden Rhinos. Concentrate, and watch your back. These guys ain't no joke."

"We gotta protect the streets. That's not a choice. We can't let these fools just waltz in and take over."

"The real enemy is your own fear. Remember that."

"So you're the cat that wants to join us, huh? I don't know where you're from, but the streets are tough. Real tough. Let's see what you're made of. We'll start you off nice and slow. Let's see how much air you can grab. Press the "A Button" to jump."

"Dogenzaka Hill is GG territory. I heard there's some headphone wearin' freak creepin' up here. If I could just find him, I'd show him what's up...."

"You can do it, can't you?"

"There are a couple of places in Shibuya Terminal where you can get on the roof of some buildings. You can get there by jumping from a Grind. You should check it out. Who knows what you'll find up there? When you're looking for something, the best place to start is the Map. You can see it by pressing the START button."

"The area of 99th Street is built around a tower that has a bunch of places to Grind. Definitely check that place out. There are also telephone poles to Grind and billboards to Wallride... the most important thing is to just try everything out. Oh, and don't forget to check the map by pressing the START button. That should give you some helpful hints"

"We actually found Roboy in a dumpster. Corn fixed him up real nice."

"I've been lost in the severs before. Its kinda crazy in there, but as long as you keep moving up, you'll be ok."

"Yoyo just can't chill and stay out, can he? He'll be back soon, I'm sure. I heard the Immortals hang out in the skyscraper district or something..."

"Actually, they say Roboy is actually a Noise Tank prototype. Don't tell him that though, ok? We don't wanna make him cry or nothin'. In any case, we're gonna get those damn Noise Tanks."

Yoyo:

"Those tracks should connect Sky Dinosaurian Square to the edge of the skyscraper district..."

"I hear that Poison Jam's woman leader has been showin' her face in town."

"Man, the Rhinos gotta be pissed off!"

"Shibuya Terminal is in a state of panic. I really wanna stay out of this, but we gotta go over there and take care of business."

"Don't use your eyes. Just try to feel it, ya know?"

"Graffiti has the power to wake up the energy that's asleep in the streets of Tokyo. The Rokkaku Group... the police... they don't know what's up. So let's just cover this whole place in art, yo."

"Yo, you know that dude Hayashi from the Rokkaku police force? That guy is one messed up dude. He's a complete psycho. Watch out for him."

"I heard through the grapevine that some weird-lookin' girl's been hangin' out at Rokkaku-dai Heights."

"So you think Poison Jam is after us?"

"We gotta get the Doganzaka Hill goddess statue that Poison Jam took. We better hurry, or things are gonna get real ugly."

Beat:

"Anything go down while I was gone?"

"I've always thought that thing in Shibuya Terminal was nasty lookin' anyway! Let's do a little redecoration."

"Sometimes, you just gotta get moving or else nothin's gonna get done, yo.

"Hey, I've heard of you. You're one of the GG's, huh? Tell you what... I'll race you. If I can beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, then this place belongs to me. Got it?"

"Hope you won't regret that."

"Shibuya Terminal? Now that you mention it, there was this huge guy wandering around there... And fishy graffiti? That sounds familiar, but I didn't really look close enough to see if the graffiti that the fool was paintin' actually looked like a fish or nothin'."

"Hey. Is it true Poison Jam used to cause trouble in Chuo Street under a different name?"

"Rapid 99 of 99th Street. They don't show their faces in public very often. Some say Rapid 99 and Poison Jam are sworn enemies because something big went down a while back. I don't know the details, though. A friend of mine told me that the girls in Rapid 99 are real lookers. I just think he was too scared of 'em to say otherwise. In any case, it ain't gonna be easy to find 'em."

"You meet Rapid 99 yet?"

"Noise Tanks? Never heard of 'em. But we gotta find Yoyo. I'll go through the sewers and check out Kiboganoka Hill."

"Those Immortals really get on my nerves..."

"Crazy stuff is going down all over town! Looks like it's time for a little clean up... GG's style!"

Combo:

"Time to get serious."

"This kid's kinda funny."

"This time we should be able to tell if it's the real one or the fake Yoyo just by talkin' to him, right?"

"That crazy guy?! What're you talkin' about? He looks nothing like me. Besides, we don't got time to deal with that fool. Remember? The Golden Rhinos??"

"Well, they told us to come. Don't look like we got any choice."

"There are some things that you can only feel when you're out in the streets, you know?"

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. I'm guessin' it was you... Its on! If you loose, you're gonna be answerin' to me from now on, punk!"

"You think you can do this too? Let's see it!"

"Man, you're not all that. Here, I'll show you one more time."

"The deep end of the sewers is closed off because it's contaminated. At least, that's what I heard..."

"Hey, why you gotta go out and get a dog?! There's only one thing I hate more than dogs, and that's goldfish."

"I heard Rapid 99 used to run under a leader named Cube..."

"Thing that ticks me off most is, the Immortals ain't worth all this talk and trouble. I wonder if they got somethin' to do with Yoyo's disappearance?"

"There's a bunch of real big guys with real big attitudes causin' a big scene over on Highway Zero. Maybe they might know something about the Noise Tanks. Man, where the hell is Yoyo?!"

Rynth:

"What is UP with Yoyo, anyway?!"

"Hey, Graffiti Souls are a big commodity, right?"

"I don't care if it's a golden rhino or a blue hippo, I'll send 'em right back to the zoo where they belong."

"What's their master plan? I mean, the Golden Rhinos don't seem like their just out here to run the streets, you know what I'm sayin'?" (This quote was spelled like this in game. From my knowledge it should be "they're just out here...")

"Here comes Gouji. Let's end this."

"Did you get all the Graffiti Souls? We still got a full laundry list of things to take care of, you know."

"Hehehe... So this is your hideout."

"Poison Jam are... kinda cute!"

"Is it just me, or does Captain Hayashi not look like he eats his breakfast?"

Poison Jam:

"I don't think Yoyo's that kind of a person."

"I think hes hiding something."

"This feels like a trap. Be careful."

"Someone's after DJ-K?! You sure about that?!"

"Gouji Rokkaku is kinda interesting. But, I think he went a little too far this time..."

"I love everything about Tokyo... even the things I hate."

"Hur hur hur. You want to get rid of us, don't you? Nothing in life is free. You gotta work for it. Beat us in this race and we won't mess with you anymore."

"Har har har!! I told ya'll you were a bunch of wussies!"

Rapid 99:

"ghahah! Next thing you know, you will be all crying like a baby."

"If you can win a flag battle against us, I'll tell you where Poison Jam' s hideout is."

"Suit yourself."

Garam:

"I won't hold back."

"Hey. Keep it real."

"There's this lightning-quick girl over at Kiboganoka Hill. Dunno if she's still there. But man, I gotta say, I'm really trippin' out over Yoyo missin' and all."

"When it comes down to it, the Immortals are just dried up mummies, man. I bet they all nasty under those bandages."

Boogie:

"The Noise Tanks might look strong, but they're like cheap action figures! Just run into them and they fall apart! Oh yeah, that girl from the stadium... I heard she's been lookin' for us. You seen her yet?"

"Aww man..."

"The fortified residential zone... it's directly attached to the underground sewers. Man. I don't like that place at all."

"Is that dude in black even human? My heart's pounding... I don't know why."

"You're never as good as you can be! Don't slack off!"

"Y'all are crazy!"

Jazz:

"This doesn't look good."

"Alright. Stay cool."

"Yeah.... we were a little too laid back this time, I think."

"The fortified residential zone... hey, why don't we pick numbers to decide who goes?"

"It's about time the Rhinos brought things up a notch. We better be ready to get real serious too."

"What the hell IS that big thing, anyway? But, you better watch out for that fool in black..."

"If you get a "Jet" in the Trials, you can even use people who aren't here to take out into the streets."

"You're one of the GG's, right? Then tell this fool that they got the wrong girl! They think I'm one of you guys! So, they dragged me out here and looked what's happened to me!!"

"Hurry up! Tell him that I'm not a GG!!"

Noise Tanks:

"Hey, you're that GG that helped me out! Thanks for that man. Say... there's something that I've been wondering since then. You wanna find out who's the fastest? I KNOW I can beat you. Let's give it a shot!"

"Alright. Fine. See ya."

"I'll get 'em good no matter what!"

"The more worked up we get about this, the harder it'll be to find what we're lookin' for."

"There's somethin' not right about the way the Golden Rhino's are actin'."

"Why are those Golden Rhinos going after the Radio station? Well, make sure to be on the lookout for Captain Psychopath."

"We gotta save DJ-K! I can't stand listening to this music anymore!"

"If this town could talk, what poetry it would speak..."

"Ready?"

"Practice all you want, it will not make a difference."

"It is not over yet. Prepare yourselves."

"Heh... Go on. Fight!"

"Are you ready?"

Special interactions:

"Sometimes it just doesn't matter how much you practice."

Slate:

"Dude. I'm bored. Entertain me."

"Hmph. What a bore."

"My sources tell me that the Noise Tanks and the Rokkaku Group are in this together. Be careful."

"So is that Clutch guy in with Rokkaku too? Or is he just a little punk?"

"I'm about ready."

"The Golden Rhinos are really startin' to get on my nerves..."

"I got better things to do than play house with Gouji Rokkaku, but man, that big ugly thing has GOT to go."

"Graffiti Souls' sole purpose is to be sought out."

Clutch:

"You're looking for that kid, Yoyo, right? Tell ya what, if you go out and get some Graffiti Soul points... Hey! Wait a sec, you've already got quite a few. Lemme see those... Sucka! Thanks for the Graffiti Souls! See ya around!"

"Hah, hah! I look forward to it!"

"I dunno, but I just don't get what's going on here. Heh..."

"This Gouji Rokkaku dude is pretty funny!"

"Haaaahaha! Tokyo ain't half bad!"

Cube:

"If you can beat me at my own game, I'll leave you alone."

"Suit yourself."

"The fortified residential zone... Unless you're absolutely sure of your skills, you should stay away from that place."

"I've dealt with the Golden Rhinos once before. If you don't take them seriously, you're as good as dead."

"I can't stand even looking at that thing. Its just so... so... damn ugly!"

"Yeah. You just have to try everything with an open mind."

Beat to Corn:

"So you're the leader of the GG's? Heh... How's this sound? If I beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, you and your buddies have to answer to me from now on. If you beat me... well, we'll just see when it happens."

"Huuuh? You're so boooring..."

Talking to Beat in the garage before fighting the police:

"Anyway, I'm ready to rock. But what's up with that pooch, eh? Where did ya pick him up? You sure that's not the leader in disguise? Heh heh. Its only a matter of time before I become the leader of the GG's anyway."

Combo to Gum:

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. Was it you, princess? You've been a bad, bad girl. You've better hit me with everything you've got, 'cause I ain't gonna hold back just because you're a girl!!"

"The cue tone get you all jumpy?"

"You liked that, eh? I'll do it again for you."

Yoyo to Rynth:

"You're... like... you know... yo."

"Where'd you come from?"

Gum to Rynth:

Rynth to Beat:

"Cool. Welcome aboard."

"You kinda... smell weird."

Garam to Boogie:

"Hey. I'm next in command around here, little lady. The name's Garam,"

Combo to Boogie:

"This group is growing bigger every day. Fool just dig me, I guess."

Gum to Boogie:

"So you're the one from Kiboganoka Hill, huh? Well, this is the GG's. What you see is what you get. Just be yourself, you'll be cool."

Garam to Jazz:

"Well, um... I... uh... be cool."

"That freak who's been making all those weird tags... you think he's connected with the Golden Rhinos somehow?"

Boogie to Garam:

"Alright. Stay cool."

Jazz to Garam:

"I feel ya, but I think you should try to chill a bit. Keep it together."

Corn to Clutch:

"What a fool. But the fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

Jazz to Clutch:

"Don't push your luck."

Beat to Clutch:

"You just wanted some attention from us, right? Aww..."

Combo to Clutch:

"Man, you're such a jerk I almost like you."

Garam to Clutch:

"One of these days, I'll get you one-on-one! Just you and me, fool!"

Boogie to Clutch:

"Fine. I'll let you off just this once."

Slate to Clutch:

"Heh... Stay outta trouble."

Corn to Yoyo:

"Long time no see, bro."

Clutch to Yoyo:

"So you're that Yoyo guy, huh? Heh..."

Jazz to Yoyo:

"So, you're the real deal, huh? 'Sup. I'm Jazz."

Combo to Yoyo:

"You gonna go and try to get back into shape, huh?'

Garam to Yoyo:

"Heh... I caused enough havoc for the both of us while you were gone, bro."

Rynth to Yoyo:

"The most unbelievable stuff was happening while you were gone! Hehehe..."

Yoyo to Slate:

"Hey, sorry about all that, yo. My bad. But thanks to those fools, I'm all out of shape now. Maybe I'll go out and cause a little havoc to warm up, yo."

Yoyo to Jazz:

"Man, things have sure gotten busier sice I was last here?"

Gum to Beat:

"That fool dressed in black who's been hanging around Chuo Street... now that I think about it, you guys kinda look alike."

Clutch to Beat:

"In times like this, you won't fall as long as you look where you're going. Heh heh."

Garam to Beat:

"Hey, you know that guy everyone's been saying looks like you? Well, is it you?"

There is some cutscene dialogue missing from these lines. If I can find all the cutscenes, then I'll be sure to add them.

[dreadlockholiday]

Hey dready! For your fic/art request - I just got a little scene in my head (no pressure if this doesn't tickle the muse): Bucky looking through a glossy magazine and saying something like "God, can you imagine being paid for just looking cute?" And without thought Steve replies, "you'd be a millionaire" and Bucky just blushes furiously while Steve's all like 😳 *oh no, I just said that out loud* How it plays from there is up to you...

Helloooo ah I love this prompt! Sorry it took me so long but I haven't been doing great lately, but it's here now yay!! As always I got carried away and wrote an entire mini fic, I hope you'll like it and enjoy it Kel😘

Have 3,6k words of drama queen Bucky, Steve being an awkward idiot, and then some more drama queen Bucky, because there's never enough of him. All is sfw! Proceed with caution, there might be a lot of blushing on the way.

–––––

Bucky hates waiting.

It might come as a surprise, considering he's the best sniper of the century and sitting still in one place for hours is one of the aces up his sleeve. But it's different when all his attention is focused on a target through the scope of a rifle. It's different when he has a purpose and reason to sit still, and his life and the ones of others hang onto a finger at the trigger.

This, however, this is making him go crazy.

Bucky's bored out of his mind, and they must have been waiting for half an hour tops, but to him it feels like it's already been half a century. His legs are itching to scamper and just move, however it might be, but instead he forces himself to sit still with his jitters and try not to scream at every single living being in the waiting room.

Bucky knows he's so wound up because they're fresh out of a seven hour long mission, and the adrenaline is still running high and fast in his system with no apparent way out, but Bucky's not gonna put the blame on his body.

No, if there's anyone to blame it's Samuel Thomas Wilson.

If he didn't get his arm broken in battle they would already be debriefed and showered and clean at the Tower, and not sitting like idiots in a hospital's waiting room looking like they just got out of a Halloween party in their ridiculous uniforms. Damn Sam Wilson and his fragile bird bones. How long does it take to get a cast on, anyway?

Huffing, Bucky looks to his right and pouts at Steve who hasn't spoken a word to him in thirteen minutes, too deeply engrossed in some video game on his phone. Bucky kind of wants to smack him for not giving him all his attention, but he doesn't, because smacking Steve always ends up in getting smacked back, and that usually leads to rolling on the floor in a supersoldier wrestling match.

Bucky's too sore to wrestle in a hospital right now, and his ankle still hurts from suffering a too harsh land after he'd jumped off a building. He'd much rather sleep, if he only could, just like Natasha is doing in a seat opposite from them. Bucky knows she's just faking it, and even with her eyes closed and head propped on her hand she's probably the most awake and alert one out of the three of them right now.

How are they not freaking out just from waiting and sitting on a chair, Bucky can't understand.

With a clipped, exaggerated sigh, he decides to push his frustration aside and use it as a momentum to lean forward and grab a magazine from the coffee table, hoping it will keep him entertained for long enough.

Magazines aren't usually Bucky's thing, and as soon as his eyes land on the front page of the one in his hands, he remembers why.

It's all fucking bullshit. And it's all about fucking money.

The picture of a woman posing unnaturally on the cover makes his lips twist in disdain, most of her skin exposed to show just how smooth and shiny it is thanks to a new magical beauty product that she's publicising. Apparently it's supposed to make your skin soft and moisturised, smooth out your wrinkles and make you look ten years younger in just two weeks and other capitalism-controlled bullshit. Bucky rolls his eyes, pretty sure the only beauty product used for the picture is Photoshop.

With an indignant scoff, he flips through the rest of the magazine only to find more articles of the same kind, with perfect looking people smiling and shining on the pages and promoting unnecessary ten-day diets and too expensive make-up and totally eco-unfriendly Prada fur coats with their pretty, flawless faces.

"Christ," Bucky tosses the crappy magazine back where he found it before sinking back into his seat, eyes closed and arms folded on his chest, "Imagine being paid for just looking cute."

"Mhm," Steve hums from beside him, "You'd be a millionaire then."

"Yeah, I wou–" Bucky's self appreciative monologue comes to a stop as the implication of Steve's words sinks into him.

"Wait, what?" He says with his eyes now wide open, and feels himself blush, the colour climbing from his neck up to the tip of his ears and tinting his whole face an embarrassing red.

"What." Steve's still looking at his phone, apparently unaware that he just said out loud that Bucky's cute and gave him a stroke.

God, he thinks Bucky's cute.

Like a sudden thunderstorm, Bucky's hopes and dreams start to hit him full force again, and he can't help a timid smile from curling over his lips as he turns to look hopefully at his best friend. His best friend who he's been crushing on for the better part of the century.

"You... you think I'm cute?"

Distantly, he can hear Natasha trying to keep herself from laughing, but she's not the centre of Bucky's attention right now.

The centre of his attention is Steve, and the way he finally seems to realise what he just admitted, the way his eyes widen and his face becomes red like a beetroot, hands fumbling until they almost drop the phone on the floor.

"Uh, oh I–" Steve chuckles nervously, then stands up so fast his feet almost knock over the coffee table, "Shit. Um shit, anyone wants some coffee? I'll– I'll get some coffee."

And then he's strolling down the hallway without even waiting for a response, leaving behind a cloud of confusion and disappointment to float around Bucky.

His eyes follow Steve until he disappears around a corner, and he's still gaping at the empty space when Natasha clears her throat, snapping him back to attention.

"I didn't know the Winter Soldier could blush so hard." She teases, amusement glinting in her eyes and her words make Bucky flush even more.

"Shut the hell up." Bucky hides his face behind his hands, trying to shuffle deeper into the chair, and then peeks from behind his fingers like a shy little kid, "Do you think he meant it?"

"God, you two are the biggest idiots in the entire galaxy." Natasha rolls her eyes, "Of course he did."

"Really?" Bucky's heartbeat perks up in excitement and gains speed, hands falling to grip the edges of his seat in anticipation, "Are... are you sure? Does that– does that mean he likes me? Like, like-likes me?"

Just the implication of Steve liking him that way makes butterflies flip and flutter in Bucky's stomach, and the look that passes on Natasha's face for a moment makes him almost believe it's true.

But then she's back to her unreadable self, and all she does is jut her chin out and say, "Mh, maybe you should ask him yourself."

"Absolutely not."

"Then I guess you'll never find out."

Bucky whines, flopping back into his seat once more and looking dreamily at the tiled ceiling, "But he thinks I'm cute."

"Who thinks you're cute?" Sam's voice rings from his left, and Bucky turns to look at him with a giddy smile and ruddy cheeks.

"Stevie," he sighs, tucking his hands under his chin and biting his lip to keep from squealing, "Stevie thinks I'm cute."

"Gross," Sam's face pulls into a grimace and he huffs, clutching his cast-clad arm, "Tell me something I don't know."

It's barely a whisper but Bucky hears it nonetheless, and all it does is add to the stupid flutter in his belly and the embarrassing blush on his cheeks.

His excitement is short lived, though, because now that Sam's cast is done and they're getting up to go home, Bucky realises he has no idea how to go on from this.

Yes, maybe Steve thinks he's cute, but how is that gonna take them anywhere? It's not like Bucky can pour his heart out and kiss him with the knowledge that his feelings are reciprocated just because Steve said he's cute.

Maybe Steve meant a brotherly cute? Or a best-friendly cute? Maybe he sees Bucky as a cute child or puppy? Ugh no. Bucky immediately backtracks when his brain tries to walk down that road.

No, no, Bucky needs a Plan. He needs to find a way to get Steve to talk and admit his feelings (if there are any) without jeopardising his own.

It's a thought that bothers him all the way back to the Tower. Steve hasn't even spared him a look since they got out of the hospital and boarded on the Quinjet, and now he's too busy piloting the actual plane to give Bucky any attention.

It hurts a little, Bucky has to admit, but as he catches Nat's encouraging wink thrown his way, the lump in his throat gets a bit easier to swallow, and he quietly goes back to brooding and building his Plan.

What he needs to make it work is Steve's attention on him, and as he's thinking about the best way to have all of it, Bucky shifts in the seat and accidentally puts a bit of pressure on his right ankle, and oh.

Oh. It almost doesn't even hurt, but if Bucky plays it right, he can make it seem so much more painful, and if there's something that makes Steve focus entirely on someone it's being hurt and needing to be taken care of. Even if it's all a dramatic little play.

Jackpot. With an internal self-celebrative party, Bucky can't help but look at the back of Steve's skull with mischief written all over his grin.

He's jittery by the time they land at the Tower, but he puts on a calm, nonchalant face and waits until they can undo the safety buckles around them and get up from their seats.

Bucky almost panics when he realises that Steve, the coward, is actually trying to avoid him at all costs and quickly zoom towards the exit, so with a sudden burst of courage, he takes a step forward with his right foot and–

"Ow! Shit, ah!"

And just like he predicted, Steve is immediately at his side.

"Buck? Bucky, you okay?"

"I'm okay, I'm alright–"

"No you're not, Buck, what's wrong?" Steve fumbles, wrapping an arm around Bucky's waist to support him and making his insides melt and turn to goo.

"It's nothing, just– ow, just my ankle." Bucky winces and puts his own arm around Steve's shoulder, fake-limping a step and hissing in faux pain, "It's nothing, Steve, I'm good."

"Shut up, you're not," and Bucky bites his lip to keep from grinning. This is working so well. "Come on, lean on me, Buck, let's get out of here."

And well, Bucky's not gonna deny himself the pleasure of being plastered to Steve's body, so he does as told, and they carefully walk out of the Quinjet and into the Tower.

Nat and Sam are giving him suspicious, unimpressed looks as they pass by them, and Bucky averts his gaze with a blush before any of them get to figure him out.

Steve's wonderfully big and warm at his side, and Bucky soaks up in the feeling all the way through the hallways and into the elevator. Bucky keeps telling Steve that he's fine, and his ankle doesn't hurt that bad, but on the counterpart, he winces and limps at every step he takes, feeling only a little bad when he sees how deeply concerned Steve is.

"What happened, Buck?" Steve murmurs once they're in the elevator, now taking most of Bucky's weight on him, keeping him so close Bucky can smell his addictive cologne under the scent of sweat and dirt covering it. "You seemed fine in the hospital."

"I don't know, I guess I still had a lot of adrenaline then and didn't feel the pain." Bucky lies, heart thumping in his chest in excitement and pleasure and anxiety. "I jumped off a building and landed a bit nasty, is all. It's gonna be fine in a few hours."

Steve's eyebrows are furrowed with worry as he looks down at him. "I'll take a look at it, anyway," and before Bucky can protest, "No objections."

"Okay." Bucky mumbles and ducks his head so that his hair can hide his pink cheeks like a curtain.

Does Steve think he's cute even now? Would he tell him that if he saw Bucky blush? The idea only gets Bucky more flustered, but he has no time to ponder it as the elevator doors slide open and he's being led into Steve's apartment, all the way through the living room and hallway and finally, the bathroom.

Bucky's stomach swoops happily when Steve literally lifts him up to set him on the marble counter, and then he's crouching down, and Bucky's heart twists a little when he sees that Steve's hands are shaking as he fumbles with the laces of Bucky's boot.

"Steve, it's alright," He says softly and sets his metal hand on Steve's shoulder, "It's just a bit bruised."

Steve nods mutely and takes his boot and sock off, and a part of Bucky is distantly embarrassed by the fact that his feet probably smell like death right now, but it's unceremoniously shushed by the volume of Bucky's heartbeat as he watches Steve gently examine his foot, treating him with so much care and caution it makes Bucky's breath hitch.

There truly is a bit of bruising and swelling on his ankle, but, frankly, Bucky didn't even bother noticing, knowing the serum will take care of it soon enough.

Steve, however, seems to take it upon himself to be the serum and take care of Bucky's ankle on his own. "I'll get some ice, stay here." He says before rushing towards the kitchen, and leaves Bucky alone to exhale in relief and gather his thoughts back in order.

Everything's fine, everything's going according to his Plan, and with the newfound confidence Bucky takes some time to fluff up his hair and check his breath, popping a few mint Tic Tacs in his mouth just to be safe.

When Steve comes back with a pack of instant ice in hand, Bucky's ready to take the next step and bring up the real issue, hoping that Steve won't try to run away and avoid him this time.

"Does it hurt?" Steve asks, gently pressing the ice to Bucky's skin. His fingers tickle a bit where they're holding up the heel of Bucky's foot, but Bucky refrains from squirming away and instead shakes his head in denial.

"No, it's fine," He breathes, hands clutching the edge of the counter to brace himself for what's to come, "Steve–"

"We'll just keep this for a few minutes–"

"Steve."

"It's gonna help with the swelling, and then we'll put some–"

"Steve."

"Yeah?" Steve finally looks up, searching Bucky's face with his pretty blue eyes and suddenly making his Plan a hundred times harder.

Bucky's not deterred.

"Did... did you mean what you said today?"

"Mean what?" Steve frowns, and Bucky can't believe he's so dumb to have forgotten it already.

Suddenly feeling bashful, Bucky tucks a lock of hair behind his ear and averts his eyes from Steve's. "That um... that you think I'm cute."

A few seconds pass in silence with only Bucky's heartbeat echoing in the room, and it's a small eternity later when he musters the courage to look back at Steve.

Steve's face is... well, it's very red, and Bucky would think about how endearing it is if he weren't losing his mind on his own part, drowning in all kinds of scary feelings as he waits for something, anything, just not this torturous silence.

His heart drops a little just then, thinking 'this is it, I knew I didn't stand a chance', and all the warmth of the build up seems to seep into a cold, lonely feeling in his bones.

"I do." Steve finally speaks, and it actually takes Bucky by surprise.

"Huh?"

"I do. Think that. That you're cute. Um,"

"Really?" Bucky doesn't even fight off the stupid smile that stretches on his lips, eyes hopeful and shining as they search Steve's face for any traces of insincerity, but all he finds truth, meaningfulness, and his hopes skyrocket all over again.

"Y-yeah," Steve breathes, nods once, then twice, eyes trained on Bucky's as if he's enraptured, "You really are."

Bucky blushes for the umpteenth time, bites his lip to keep his giggles in, "I think you're cute too." he admits, and Steve's eyes widen and then his face becomes bright pink and he emits a surprised sound, and Bucky's confidence is suddenly back in full force.

"I also think you're handsome," He smirks seductively, leaning forward to bring their faces closer, "And very smart. And strong. And sexy..."

Walking two fingers up Steve's chest until they rest under his chin, Bucky tilts his bewildered face up and his breath hitches when Steve doesn't fight back and shows all all signs that he's into it.

"Um, uh, I–"

Bucky licks his lips, and Steve's dark eyes helplessly track the movement as if drawn to it, and Bucky knows really well where he wants this to go. Where Steve wants this to go.

"I think you wanna kiss me, Steve," Bucky purrs, barely keeping control with how fast his heart is beating, "Do you?"

Steve nods, breath shallow as he gulps, "Guh– I. Do."

Grinning, Bucky effortlessly pulls Steve up to his feet, and he follows obediently like a puppy until he's standing between Bucky's legs, hands twitching and unsure at his sides like he doesn't know where to put them.

Bucky aids him, taking matters in his own hands and wrapping Steve's arms around himself, while his own circle Steve's neck. "Good," He whispers, traps Steve in with his legs until they're so close he can feel Steve's breath on his lips, "Then do it."

Everything suddenly stills as the words seem to sink into Steve's dumbfounded brain. Bucky's belly keeps flipping with butterflies like he's on a rollercoaster, warmth pooling somewhere below his belly button and expanding through his whole body until he's almost fuzzy with it.

And then Steve kisses him, and Bucky's brain forgets everything but the feeling of lips on his own.

It's a tender touch at first, slow and sweet like molasses as they kiss with no rush and hurry. Bucky tightens his arms around Steve's neck to scoot closer, so close their chests are flush with one another and he's completely surrounded by Steve like a warm blanket.

Then Steve's tongue probes between his lips, and Bucky sighs happily, moans, and lets him in, crumbling completely within his best friend's arms.

Apparently Steve's brain has managed to regain some autonomy and function, because now he really knows what he's doing, and he's fucking good at it. Steve kisses him like he wants to devour him, like he wants to crawl inside him and make himself a home right there, and Bucky would let him.

God, Bucky would let him do anything if it meant he keeps kissing him like that for the rest of their lives. The deep, wet strokes of Steve's tongue against his own seem to crush any attempt of Bucky's brain to function, rendering him a dreamy puddle of goo and butterflies and shivers.

Smiling against Steve's lips, Bucky arches into the large hands caressing his sides and shudders when Steve's teeth gently close over his plump lip, then bites him back just to prove a point and grins triumphantly when it makes Steve whine.

He soothes the spot with his tongue, then with gentle presses of his lips that turn softer and softer until they're giving each other tiny, playful pecks that make Bucky giggle.

They pull away, at last, and Bucky opens his eyes to find Steve staring at him like he hung the moon. Good, that's good. Bucky wants to be looked at like that all the time, and he soaks in the heady feeling it gives him.

With a final, happy sigh, Bucky pecks the tip of Steve's nose and hugs him, buries his face in Steve's neck and plans not to let go for the next three days.

"That was..." Steve trails off, breath fanning somewhere next to Bucky's ear, "Cool."

Bucky deadpans, pulling away to give Steve his best unimpressed look. "Are you kidding? Cool? That's how you rate my kisses?"

Steve cracks a lopsided grin and cups Bucky's face, leaning in to steal one more of those 'cool kisses', and Bucky lets him, despite himself, tightening the clutch of his legs around Steve's to keep him from going away.

"Your kisses are stratospheric," Steve says, once he pulls back, "Now let me look at your ankle?"

Oh. Oh shit. Bucky totally forgot about that part. And he may or may not have neglected to plan it this far, but now he has to find a quick solution, and his brain being reduced to scrambled eggs from a thorough make out session surely isn't helping.

To lie, or not to lie? Bucky decides the latter is the best decision, and maybe he'll tell Steve that this was all a ploy one day, but for now he'll let it be, let Steve think he's actually seriously hurt take care of his ankle just because it feels good to be coddled, and the rest will be a problem for Future Bucky.

"It can wait." He says, and pulls Steve in for another kiss, because Bucky sure as hell isn't gonna do the waiting any longer.