#DailyApsirations

[cherridawne]

Strength

Arising From a Dark Place

Being strong is the only thing I know; being strong for my close friends, being stronger for my partner and being strongest for my family. I’ll motivate them, support them and care for them.  A lot of the times I neglect to be strong for me.  So this week Ima get a lotta bit personal with you guys…maybe not THAT deep…but ill scratch the surface on a personal level.

This past weekend I was in a funk (For this purpose and lack of a better term, being in a funk is ALMOST like a depression state). The worst weekend to be in a funk, it’s a long weekend and I actually had a day off. It should have been great.  Either way I was in a funk…a SUPER FUNK. I’m sure we all get to the point of our troubles get the best of us and we collapse and break. Although I prayed on it, and attempted to get the toxins (or troubles) out my aura, I could not. It kind of felt like I didn’t want them to go away and kind felt like it was just coming into who I was becoming. I was not strong for myself and I broke down drastically. I actually never felt that weak in a LONG ASS time. Emotionally and physically I was weak, yet I was still strong for my friends, my partner and my family.  Not even going to front, it was the weakest couple days of my life (so far and hopefully the last time).

No one really knew. I’ve gotten great at masking my troubles. Even the closest people to me were unaware. My break down behaviour was not in my character, it was not healthy at all. I’m not proud so say I broke down to that level that way especially from being strong for sooo long. I am glad that I had the break down as an experience. Everything is an experience and this is one specially, I never wanted to experience again. Like all other types of experiences you learn something out of them. I learnt that in order to build, things have to be broken. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Since I was “broken” something wasn’t right and I had to be fixed. My strength had to be fixed. The aftermath of my break down behavior caused me to really think about what I was doing to myself. The strength wasn’t there, my productiveness wasn’t there, I was not myself therefore I could not be strong for those that needed me especially if I was a mess. I reasoned with myself, had a pep talk and basically told myself to “Bounce back. Snap outta it.” The only messed up thing about it was it took me to getting to my lowest to find the strength for myself so I can care for myself. And it’s okay to break down just don’t give up. “Sometimes you gotta get knocked down to your lowest than you’ve ever been to stand up taller than you ever were” - Unknown

With this experience I shared with you I hope you pick up this lesson if you don’t get anything else. Never lose strength especially for yourself. You cannot be effective in the other aspects of your life if you have lost all the strength to get you through the day. Fuel your mind, body and soul with positivity to maintain your strength throughout. Do not forget to motivate yourself as you would others. Keep this thought in your mind. Use it this as a daily affirmation. “No matter what happened yesterday, you can be strong today and even be stronger tomorrow” – Terry Mark