#DONIA BAILEY…… WE LOVE YOU AND WE MISS YOU

[verdemoth]

CANT HAVE SHIT IN BLASEBALL

[919]

blaseball asks: 4, 6, 12, 14, 30

blaseball asks

4: team you’d be most likely to flute to: i’ve seriously considered fluting to the dale on multiple occasions!! now that the spies arent what i’d consider a small team anymore i do kinda miss those vibes :”) plus i’m never fluting to a team that’s not in the wild low division

6: storyline you keep coming back to again and again (e.g. mike townsend arc, jaylen hotdogfingers’ resurrection, snackrifice, tillman henderson’s return): oh for sure i have to say jaylen’s storyline for this question. but also i think abt the separate tragedies of jessica telephone and donia bailey ALLL the time

12: favorite team aesthetic: probably garages or dale for this tbh!!! i love the spies very very much & the spy/noir aesthetic is very good in theory but we do NOT have a handle on it. meanwhile i cannot say no to blindingly bright neons & im a lesbian i already dress like im on the garages

14: favorite “minor” character (player who’s rarely discussed): DONIA BAILEY! the spies still talk abt her but she goes largely forgotten lol umm here’s a quick(?) rundown (i’m not checking on the wiki for this so excuse any inaccuracies):

she was such a bad pitcher that her lore was literally that she was hired by an enemy agency to sabotage the team

at the beginning of s5, though, she finally gave up on the enemy agency that hadnt contacted her for 5 years and started to let herself care about her teammates, as much as that’s possible for her— she hasnt had a genuine non-self-serving relationship with another human being for years at this point. and then she pitched a cluster of rly good games!!

but after that it became clear that, like, even when she tried she was still. not a good pitcher. and at least she wasn’t lonely anymore but constantly failing the people you love is its own kind of hell

so we campaigned hard to get a blessing that would swap her in as a batter, where she had significantly better stats!

it didnt happen in s5, but then in s6! there was a blessing that would swap our best-pitching hitter at the time, alexandria rosales, in as a pitcher, & there was a chance that this would then swap donia into the lineup! so we went for that

also in s6, there was a blessing along the lines of, like, experimental cloning or something, where the team that won it would get a clone of a random other player in the league. we were also very interested in this, largely for the sinister spy shenanigans of it all.

s6 elections roll around and woo! look! we win the cloning blessing! but uhh. the player we got out of that was evelton mcblase ii. & the player that got kicked off the team— sent to the shadows— in return was donia bailey.

eviltwin is known for being cartoonishly evil and remarkably bad at blaseball. it is for this reason that i think the agency that hired donia removed her from the team in order to plant a more effective saboteur after it became apparent that she cared more about her teammates than she did about working for them.

add insult to injury: we won the pitcher-batter swap blessing, and.. alex took donia’s spot in the rotation, making eviltwin a batter. if we just hadnt won the clone blessing then donia would finally have been able to bat, and maybe she’d have been happy on the team for the first time ever.

instead, she was sent to the shadows alongside mike townsend & unlike him, never got out. she never got the recognition he did, either. she’s just stuck in there! forgotten! i miss her terribly

oh! donia trivia: she’s a cowboy, incredibly abrasive, and was a beloved & irreplaceable member of her roller derby team.

30: favorite song off the garages’ collab albums, if you listen to those: who? by yung tilly. i am not taking constructive criticism at this time.

(ok real answer might be where is your spirit, the tug, shutout, or sunstripes. i have taste i prommy) (who by yung tilly is also taste though <3)