#DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR MOM EDITH

[clouds-of-wings]

I'M SAYING LIKE

I don't know if the writers are lampshading here, but apparently the extreme lack of attention and interest that Edith is getting from her family is very obvious to an outsider.

Shit, right, Edith owns a publishing company. That kind of tiny detail is so easy to forget when there are more important things about her like "Visits a farmer's daughter often".

[deke-rivers-1957]

ECU High - Mike's Circumstances

One weekend morning Mike wakes up and heads downstairs to see his dad dressing up in his uniform.

"Where you going, dad?"

Mr. Edwards turns around.

"Last dusting of the season. I just got word from our neighbor Mr. Ling that he just got a promotion of a delivery driver."

"Wow congrats to him."

"Yeah instead of picking apples he'll collect 'em from orchards all over the Texas/Oklahoma border. Of course all that traveling means he'll need someone to watch Sue-Lin while he's gone during harvestin season. Think you'd want to do that Mike?"

He scratches the back of his neck. On one hand babysitting sounds like a girl's job but on the other hand, he wants a model plane and needs to raise money to do it.

"Sure I'll do it."

"Atta boy. You're 14 now so you can be left at Mr. Ling's house by yourself. If there's ever a problem you know momma's here."

"Thanks dad. Good luck on your flights."

Mr. Edwards smiles and walks downstairs to leave the house.

"Edith I'll be back in two weeks. If Walter comes by with Sue-Lin while I'm gone, Mike said he'll be fine babysitting."

"Ok dear."

She kisses him on the cheek and he walks out the door. Mike goes to have breakfast when there's a knock on the door. Mrs. Edwards goes to answer.

"Sorry for short notice Mrs. Edwards. Got called to work early. You are able to watch Sue-Lin?"

"Oh. Yes Walter. Mike said he'd love to babysit. I'll send him next door after breakfast."

Mr. Ling bows.

"Thank you for help. Hope you have good day."

"Thank you, you too."

He goes to leave as she closes the door.

"Mike that was Mr. Ling. He's leaving for work early so I said you can start watching Sue-Lin after breakfast."

Mike almost spits out his milk.

"Today?! But mom I was supposed to meet my friends at the mall today."

"Well unless you're willing to take Sue-Lin with you, you'll have to cancel."

Mike groans.

"I gotta call the guys then."

He finishes his milk and gets up to use the phone. He finally gets to calling Clint.

"Oh Ah don't mind if ya bring 'er round. Jus make it clear ta Pacer that yer bringin a lil girl. He don't really like surprises."

"Yeah I know but I hope he'd feel at least a little better once he knows she's a 7 year old Chinese girl."

"Wha's her bein Chinese gotta do with it?"

Mike stops for a second because he remembers that Clint simply doesn't know these things.

"There's a history of Chinese people being treated badly. Even though Mr. Ling hasn't had that happen in this neighborhood, it can still happen. Pacer would feel better about it because he can relate to that."

"Oh. Well Ah won't be mean ta her if that's what ya mean Mike."

"I know you won't Clint. I'm just telling you that Pacer might feel better because of it."

"Ok then. Ah'll see ya in a couple hours."

"Alright bye."

He hangs up the phone. Then he picks up again to call Pacer.

"Hello?"

"Um hi, Pacer. Listen I know you don't like surprises but there's gonna be a little change in plans today."

"What?"

Mike takes a deep breath.

"We're still gonna meet at the mall today as promised. I just need to bring someone with me."

"Who?"

"My neighbor's daughter. He got a sudden promotion to delivery driver so he's gotta travel a lot. She's a small 7 year old Chinese girl named Sue-Lin so he can't leave her at home alone."

Mike can hear a sigh over the phone.

"Ok. I just don't wanna answer personal questions."

"Oh yeah don't worry about that. Sue-Lin's the type that don't need to be told things twice. Mr. Ling's a first generation Chinese-American immigrant so he's still very traditional."

"Alright then. So long's that's the case that's fine."

Mike sighs in relief.

"Good. Thanks. I'll see you and Clint later then."

"Ok. Bye."

They hang up and Mike goes back to the kitchen.

"Is everything alright, Mike?"

"Yeah. Just had to make sure Pacer was fine. You know how he is mom."

She sighs as she washes dishes.

"Well it's not my business to pry, but it sounds to me that he could seriously benefit from some therapy. The poor boy is clearly traumatized and I don't want anyone getting hurt."

"I know mom. I think Clint being who he is has actually been helping him out. He doesn't feel as jumpy when you so much as talk to him."

Mrs. Edwards dries a glass.

"That's good but Clint's just a boy himself. Pacer needs a professional who can help him in a mentorship role. Why isn't Mr. Lightcloud a Native?"

"Yeah he moved from Arizona. His sister makes and sells turquoise jewelry. He's our world history teacher."

"Alright then, son."

Mike goes to the door.

"I'm gonna go next door and tell Mr. Ling I'm taking her to the mall."

"Alright Mike. Stay safe with Sue-Lin now."

Mike goes over to Mr. Ling's house and knocks on the door.

"Who is there?"

"It's Mike Edwards Mr. Ling."

He opens the door and gives a little nod.

"Thank you. Please come sit down on couch."

Mike comes inside.

"You have question?"

"Uh yes I do. I have some friends I want to meet at the mall and I wanted to know if I can bring Sue-Lin with."

Mr. Ling nods.

"Yes yes you can take her to mall. She needs to buy new clothes for cold weather."

"Ok. Is there a time you want her home?"

"I come back home at 5 pm. I want Sue-Lin back at 6."

"Yes sir."

Mr. Ling gives a short nod again.

"Good. I get Sue-Lin from room."

"Ok Mr. Ling."

Mr. Ling goes to Sue-Lin's room and knocks on the door. He starts speaking in Chinese to ask if she's ready.

"I'm ready daddy."

She comes out of her room in a traditional Chinese outfit with her hair in twin pigtails. Mike's heart melts with how cute she looks.

"Hi Mr. Mike."

"Hi."

"Daddy said you were taking me to the mall to get new clothes."

Mike smiles as he nods.

"Yes I'm taking you clothes shopping. I'm also meeting with some friends. Clint talks a lot and he'd love to meet you. Pacer though is very shy and doesn't like it when you ask a lot of questions. Once he gets used to you, he'll think you're a great little girl."

Sue-Lin smiles.

"That's ok Mr. Mike. I'll just talk with you and Mr. Clint."

"Alright then. Now your daddy said I gotta have you back by 6 pm."

"Ok Mr. Mike."

He stands up as Mr. Ling goes to the door. He speaks some Chinese to Sue-Lin and then to Mike.

"Are you going to mall now?"

"No I'm taking Sue-Lin next door for a couple hours since I won't meet my friends until later. My mom's going to drive us."

He nods.

"Good. I see you at 6."

"Yes sir."

Sue-Lin waves.

"Bye daddy."

Mike and Sue-Lin walk out the door to head over to his house.

"Momma we're back."

She comes out of the kitchen.

"Why hello there Sue-Lin. What a lovely outfit."

"Mr. Mike's going to take me shopping today. I saved four whole dollars."

"How wonderful dear. Now I have some work to do before I can take you and Mike to the store. You can sit down on the couch and watch some tv."

"Thank you Mrs. Edwards."

Sue-Lin and Mike go to the couch and sit down.

"So. What are you allowed to watch?"

"My daddy only lets me watch educational shows."

"PBS Kids it is then."

Mike turns to channel 13 and sees a show he's never heard of before.

"What's this?"

"Word Word! Everything's made out of letters to spell things. The duck is made out the letters used to spell duck."

"But what if you split the letters up do you just stop being awake? Like that sheep there, does she still know what's happening when she's just separate letters?"

Sue-Lin giggles.

"Of course she does. She's made of letters and she's a sheep which makes her alive. A lot of the shows daddy lets me watch is about reading and spelling."

Mike lets out a whistle.

"Man. Cartoons sure have changed."

"You watched cartoons Mr. Mike?"

Mike fiddles with his hands.

"Well yeah but they were very different. The Magic School Bus had its first episode involve the kids going to outer space. One of the kids froze his head and got a cold because he took his helmet off on Pluto."

"That's silly Mr. Mike. A bus can't fly to Pluto."

"And you can't make a sheep out of just letters silly."

She giggles and Mike realizes that maybe babysitting won't be so bad after all.

An: Sorry this took so long. Some installments are harder to write than others. If you haven't been tagged but wanna see more please leave a note down below.

Tagging: @mercsandmonsters, @vintagepresley, @thetaoofzoe, @elvismylove04, @ashtag6887,

@tupelomiss, @thedaisymaisy, @richardslady121, @arrolyn1114, @theelviseffect,

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@phil2135561, @gayforelvis, @ash-omalley, @eptodaytommorowforever, @wildhorseinkansas,

@alienelvisobsession, @comebackep, @presley72elvis, @leopardandstuds, @ellie-24, 

@heart-of-ep, @thatbanditqueen, @starboybutler, @be-my-ally, @myradiaz, 

@jaqueline19997, @louisejoy86, @peskybedtime, @lookingforrainbows, @kiankiwi, 

@your-nanas-house, @januarypresley1969, @justrae9903, @codalysssssworld, @burnthheparaphilia,

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@doll-elvis, @idk583838, @queencreole1958, @queenncreole, @them-rts,

@thelonelyheart, and @theelvisprincess.

[ladyrosse]

Cora's plan

Office:

-Robert, you can't just say that you don't agree

-Yes, I can and I say it; I don't agree!

Cora and Mary look at each other trying to stay calm and listen to one of the men in the room trying to reach an agreement:

-It's simple, if the majority partners do not agree, nothing can be done and we will continue with this.

Cora takes the floor by staring at Robert on the other side of the table:

-Is there no way that 75% is divided and thus a result is obtained from this?

-No mom, on other occasions if you have not agreed it does not take place and the same when dad has said no.

-Robert please, understand that the only way to reach the US market is by doing all this.

It gets up and shows the data on the screen

The moment Cora gets up, Robert tries to hide but is delighted with the way he looks today, he told him in the morning and plans to repeat it but he does not know how the atmosphere will be at the end of the meeting.

Mary is talking and he tries to grasp where he is heading when he hears:

-We will be in a meeting all this week because we need to reach a result before Saturday.

-It's okay, but we won't give in

Robert responds by pointing to the 3 men who accompanied them.

-Well, I'm not going to give in either.

Cora's comment is heard with a very serious tone.

Mary's office:

Mary sees how her mother tries to enter in a strange way and as if she were hiding from a person...

-I need you to take your father home today because I can't go with him.

-Mom but...

-No, seriously, please, take it! I don’t want him to take a taxi.

-You should not let what is happening in the office affect your marriage.

He laughs* - Nooo dear remember that tomorrow is his birthday and today I will give him his surprise.

Mary nods and somehow remembers that a week ago her mother had told her and her sisters about this day.

-Edith and Sybil already have almost everything I asked them ready at home, I must go, I have not let your father see me

-Goodbye, Mom

-Ah! And please try not to get so angry.

A snort from Mary and in a murmur it is heard

-That will be the most difficult thing

Minutes later...

-Have you seen your mother?!

I can't believe he left and took the car.

-Dad, please calm down, I'll take you home.

I know that mom had an emergency, something feminine.

-Oh please, if it was something like that I understand it but I don't understand WHY you don't let me know.

-Maybe he doesn't want to talk to you.

After he says it, he realises that it is not the best way to approach it

-Oh! I knew it, since we went out she ignored me, I don't understand why she does that, she is not supposed to interfere in personal life, she is the one who always repeats it.

-Okay, dad, wait, she's not angry, I don't know and I don't think so, she told me she had an emergency and I told her that I could take you. It's okay, besides, I'm going to get the girls because we'll go to dinner and some drinks later.

-Will the three of them come out?

Maybe your mother will join them, she still doesn't want to see me.

-Dad, please, we'd better go out...

Grantham House:

The girls and Cora are finishing organising, while Cora lights the candles, Edith is in charge of leaving the music ready for her so that her mother only has to play her. Sybil on the other hand is accommodating the wine and glasses.

-Mom, the wine is already cold but I still served a glass before cooling it... As you told me.

-Thank you darling, it's just that your father doesn't like cold wine whenever he drinks it, it's for me and I would like him to enjoy.

He shares a smile with his daughters and the sound of a car is heard.

-Oh, I think Dad is already here.

Edith says looking at her mother.

-Better we go out.

Both girls kiss their mother, while Cora is going to put on the dress, It was the only thing he was missing, While she was coming up, she decided to wear a red lipstick and she would be ready for her Robert

Downstairs the girls entertain Robert for a few minutes while they receive Cora's message indicating that they can leave now

-And is his mother there?

-I think she's lying down (Sybil)

-We really saw her when she arrived but she didn't leave the room anymore (Edith)

-Okay, well, we'd better go (Mary)

-Good night, dad (the three girls)

Robert says goodbye to three and reminds them not to return late while preparing to face an annoying or sick wife, he didn't really know what was going on with Cora.

Dinner:

Upon entering his house he perfectly recognises the woman who is by candlelight... His wife looked so beautiful, apparently she wears a dress attached to her body, she was able to see each of her curves in the shade.

In order not to damage the wonderful environment, he decided not to turn on some other light and without thinking just throw a:

-I'm very angry with you...

He doesn't know why but when he sees his wife's smile he also smiles and his previous comment comes out as a joke, Cora goes to him and he hands him his glass of wine

-Happy pre Birthday my love

She decides not to wait and joins the two drinks to start the toast to her husband’s life

-Oh, Cora! What is this?

-Your birthday surprise, just you and me.

He gives him a kiss extremely quickly.

-I thought I would spend tonight in the guest room and look, I can't believe it... Also

It turns it very slowly to contemplate it perfectly

-You are so perfect *kiss* Beautiful *kiss* And sexy…

This time his kiss lasted a little longer but Cora had to stop him.

-Now dear... Your birthday

He plays the list of songs he had chosen with Edith a few days ago and they both started dancing.

-If only we could agree on the company

Robert's comment is almost a whisper in the perfect environment they had created.

-Please, darling, I don't want us to talk about it.

-I just need you not to try to pressure or change my opinion, you know that we can't face those kinds of risks...

-Shhh please seriously, let's have dinner, let's celebrate and if you haven't changed your mind tomorrow I'll have to convince you in another way..,

He looks at it in a pretty flirtatious way

-Maybe that way I can think about it a little better

They share a light but honest laugh, the years they have been married and working together taught him that their working life was outside their marriage and each of the fights they have had in the company stay in the offices. Sometimes they may not have talked when they got home but they were still in the same bed and having dinner together. In addition, his family was always there, needing them, his daughters loved their parents' relationship almost as they loved each other. Cora knew that this decision would take a lot of time and conviction but she was willing to use the powers of a wife to convince Robert, it was difficult to take him on the business side but she was very confident in being able to do it.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Hi Frank! I just found your blog, it is really cool! I recently started listening to an audiobook called “Gideon the Ninth” and I love it! The story is about a necromancer and a swordswoman who are trying to work together to solve a great mystery. Do you like audiobooks, and if so, what is your favorite?

I do like audiobooks!

I've listened to at least 10 books on audiobook in my life, but I don't actually remember the names, so I have no list. I would like to see if there are any of yours I'm missing. My favorites, in no particular order:

Don DeLillo's White Noise, "The Great American Novel," and Great American Novels

The Story of My Teeth by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Molinas by Jorge Luis Borges (very good)

The Last Samurai by Helen DeWitt

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin

Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton

Cabala by Philip K. Dick

Moby Dick by Herman Melville

The Story of a Marriage by Jean Rhys

A Thousand Acres by Sylvia Townsend Warner

House of Mirth by Edith Wharton

The Man from Utopia by Jules Verne

I think that's about it. The first time I listened to a book on audio (I don't remember the title) I really loved it and was surprised to learn that it would take me about 3 hours to get through the first 100 pages or so, but I have always since preferred reading to listening to books (with the exception of White Noise, which I couldn't stop listening to for reasons known only to me).

That doesn't mean I never listen to books anymore. For instance, I finished re-listening to Harry Potter last week because the audiobook I got is not quite as good as the one I had last time I listened. I've been listening to The Magicians and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in that order over the last few days while driving or in the car with my mom. I also recently re-listened to Great House of Sleep.

But I find I'm still not that much of a fan of the experience overall. Audiobooks are great if you have the time to do them -- they let you read at your own pace and get to know the characters and their relationships better -- but when they're done they're just done. That means no cliffhangers or suspense in the middle. That means no chance to think about your reaction and what you thought. Sometimes I feel like people talk about the "book experience" as if we have an exclusive right to the experience of reading books as books, but as I get older I don't feel that I have the same experience with audiobooks that I do with other "media," and I'm less inclined to recommend them.

One reason to recommend them is that they can be great for readers who dislike reading very fast, who find that they have trouble getting to the beginning of a book if the text is too long or if the beginning is not well-written. For some of us, it takes several hours of reading to get the basic story down, and audiobooks can let us experience the story at the pace it was meant to be enjoyed. Another is that it can be great for people with poor vision or who are on the subway and can't keep their eyes focused on a page for hours. Audiobooks let you keep track of characters instead of looking around and squinting at a page. (On the other hand, I don't really recommend audiobooks as a general remedy for people who are "too easily distracted," because that may be related to the problem that they have trouble getting through the start of the book.

I've also found that I like to "read" books on the subway or on other long car rides. You read a few lines every few minutes, and I've found this helps me remember things more and get a grasp on the characters, because I'll look back and notice things like "so it turns out that this character has a name beginning with M." I usually like to start with a book I've read before, so this usually means going backwards in time. I've done this with several books, and I always find something new and "cool" to think about.

(Incidentally, a book I never want to read on the subway again is Ian McEwan's "Enduring Love." That is a book I can't even imagine spending five minutes on a subway car reading. It would be a good job for a street performer.)

Anyway, I am very curious to hear what you all think of reading on a subway. If I get time, I will try to go back and remember the titles of the books I've had on my iPod recently, and see if any of these have any stories about their own subway reading habits or things they'd like to recommend.

[nebulousfishgills]

flower asks!

white carnation, jasmine, azalea, bluebell, tigerlily, aster (lol), lavender, and/or freesia

Thanks for the ask! This one's a long one so buckle up.

White Carnation - Would you ever want to get a piercing? Where?

This may sound funny, but I have zero piercings (not even my ears) and I highly doubt I'll ever get any. It's just never appealed to me, idk. My grandma never pierced hers, she always wore clip-ons.

Jasmine - Describe your dream partner or best friend. What kind of personality traits do they have?

All my friends I would consider my "dream" friends (my irls and if we're friends on Tumblr you also count). As for dream partner... I mean, I'm not sure. I guess someone who's nice. They should be supportive of me and, to quote a thing my mom sent me, "the weird little things that make my heart happy." Someone who makes me excited to wake up in the morning and who would take me to the theatre once in a while. Someone who encourages me to be the best version of myself. Also someone who can take my darker sense of humor and keep me grounded when I inevitably become a whirlwind of undiagnosed adhd or whatever the fuck I have. Also some blue eyes, same as my mom blue eyes can make me absolutely weak.

That was a tangent, but I am a writer so-

Azalea - What is the most recent song you've listened to? How do you feel about it?

Okay this is gonna sound completely fucking unhinged, especially since it's so short, but last night I had Busted from Phineas and Ferb on repeat for like, three hours as I was doing a doodle because it came across my youtube feed and I realized it's like... exactly like a major scene I have planned for a fic, just without the musical swagger.

Cut to me fifteen minutes into this loop alone in my dorm room pretending I'm [Unnamed Character A] telling off [Unnamed Character B] for [Unnamed Event].

Bluebell - Do you have any pets? If so, what are their names?

I'm currently separated from them by "educational distance" but I have two kitties at home, a Tortie named Jackie and an Orange Boy Cat named Maggie (He has a more feminine name because PetSmart told us he was a girl when we adopted him since they *said* they did a spay operation... but then he had to get a surgery where they told us he was a boy... but by then Maggie had stuck and we'd already gone through three hours of arguing on what to name him in the first place).

Tigerlily - Do you have any favorite quotes from any movies, tv shows, books, or poetry? (Or from people in real life)

Y'all, I have a million favorite quotes from a million things. For now I'll give you one of each

Movie: "Ghosts are real. This much I know. There are things that tie them to a place, very much like they do us. Some remain tethered to a patch of land, a time and date, the spilling of blood, a terrible crime. But there are others-- others that hold onto an emotion, a drive, loss, revenge... Or love. Those-- They never go away." -Edith Cushing in my all time favorite movie, "Crimson Peak."

(I'm also like, 99% sure I'm being followed by a ghost or spirit of some sort so)

TV Show: I'm pretty sure me saying Henry's fifteen minute monologue in Stranger Things is cheating since that's, like, many many quotes, but I'll say it anyways because those fifteen minutes were life changing.

Book: I wish it was easier for me to find a quote, but unfortunately all my books are packed away for move-out in a couple weeks. My memory is eluding me so just pretend like I either said something really profound or something extremely stupid.

Play: "You're still beautiful." "You don't have to lie to me." "It's not lying, it's looking at things another way." From Wicked, my favorite musical (am I basic for that, maybe). Seeing this on Broadway last summer was a religious experience and I'm gonna have another one when I see it from the seventh row next year.

(I changed it to play because, fun fact, I don't read poetry that much. Another thing from my mom, she hates poetry... bear in mind this woman has a BA in English)

Real Life: "People are like 'you're weird' and I'm like 'yes, I've been waiting sixty years to get that compliment'" -my history professor. The man's said so much wild shit this semester I have an entire discord channel devoted to recording his quotes, dude's a legend.

Aster - Do you have any fictional crushes on any movie, tv show...

...

Okay I had a collage I made of every character I've had a crush on, lemme see if I can find it so I can be concise.

(One frantic search later)

It's not fully updated, so lemme just make one rq, every character I actively have a crush on (give or take one or two):

Moving on.

Lavender - What's currently on your mind (aside from the ask game)

How much of a degenerate I am.

No, but in reality, I have two packages I'm waiting for and I keep obsessively tracking them because I'm terrified they'll not get to me before my move-out date.

Freesia - What do you want people to remember you for? Serious or not serious answers.

I can say my writing in a serious and a not serious way. Remember me for my s tier descriptions and remember me for whatever the fuck this is:

[snake-rot]

(EXCLAIMING)

(ORCHESTRA MUSIC BLARING)

(GROANS)

(WHIMPERS)

(GRUNTING)

(MYSTICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS)

(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(COUGHS)

Sweet home Alabama

Where the skies are so blue

WOMAN: Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?

Sweet home Alabama

(GRUNTING)

Lord, I'm coming home to you

(GRUNTS) Justin!

Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

Yeah

Justin, you get back here right now!

No, stop!

GUARD 1: No, no, no! Stop him! GUARD 2: Go back! Don't climb!

(JUSTIN IMITATING AIRPLANE WHOOSHING)

Wait, wait.

Hold on. Easy, little boy.

Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!

(GASPS)

No, no, no, no, no! Oh! There he goes.

(GASPS)

Justin!

I've got him! I've got him!

(JUSTIN GRUNTS)

(AIR ESCAPING)

Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered

that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen

and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.

There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens

try to protect their beloved landmarks.

Law enforcement still has no leads,

leaving everyone to wonder, which of the world's villains

is responsible for this heinous crime?

And where will he strike next?

Gru: Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray! [laughs evilly] Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing? Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard, and I don't appreciate it. Fred: Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they wanna go. Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one. Fred: Okay. Yeah. Steamrolling whatever Gru: [groans] You've got to be pulling on my leg! Margo: Hello! Cookies for sale. Gru: Go away. I'm not home. Margo: Uh, yes, you are. I heard you. Gru: [gasps] No, you didn't. This... [monotone] is a recording. Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't. Gru: Yes, it is. [o.s.] Watch this. Leave a message, beep. [Edith kicks the door] Gru: Ow! Agnes: Goodbye, recorded message. Margo: [o.s.] Agnes, come on. Gru: Huh? [screams] Kyle! Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Ah, Dr. Nefario. Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I, too, have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats. Gru: What? What happened? Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid. They're saying he makes all other villains look... lame. pause Gru: Assemble the minions! [throws Kyle off of his arm] Minions, assemble! Minion: Okay. Okay. Hey! Gru: Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good? All right. That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry? Hello, everybody! Yeah, all right! Simmer down. Simmer down! Thank you, okay. Now, I realize that you guys probably heard about this other villain who stole the pyramids. Apparently, it's a big deal. People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that. But am I upset? No, I am not! A little, but we have had a pretty good year ourselves, and you guys are all right in my book. Minion: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Gru: No, no raises! You're not going to get any raises. What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice! That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh? But that's not all. We stole the Statue of Liberty, the small one from Las Vegas. And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas. Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet, but I have been working on something very big! Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water! And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr. Nefario... Dr. Nefario: Thank you! Gru: There he is. He's stylin'. Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the 'true crime of the century. We are going to steal... The Minions all pull out their weapons in response. Gru: Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet. One of the Minions, Dave, shoots his rocket launcher at a crowd of Minions. Gru: Hey. Dave, listen up, please! Dave: Ditto. One of the Minions Dave shot walks over to him and punches him on the shoulder. Gru: Next, we are going to steal, pause for effect, the moon! The Minions cheer in response. Gru: And once the moon is mine, the world will give me whatever I want to get it back! And I will be the greatest villain of all time! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. [picks up his phone] Yes? Dr. Nefario: Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers, and I really don't see how we can afford this. It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker. Gru:Hey, chillax. I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me! Margo: Edith, stop it! Edith: What? I'm just walking. Girls: Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back. Miss Hattie: Hello, girls! Agnes: Anybody come to adopt us while we were out? Miss Hattie: Hmm... Let me think. No! Edith immediately puts a mud pie on Miss Hattie's desk, much to her displeasure. Miss Hattie: Edith! What did you put on my desk? Edith: A mud pie. Miss Hattie: [sighs] You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you? Edith: Yeah, I know. Miss Hattie: Good. So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas? Margo: Hmm... Sorta. We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies and 18 coco-nutties. Miss Hattie: [gets up] Okay.

Well, you say that like it's a great sale day. [furious] Look at my face! Do you still think it's a great sale day? Edith rolls her eyes in response. Miss Hattie: [hangs up a portrait] Eighteen coco-nutties. I think we can do a little better than that, don't you? Yeah. We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No. Girls: No, Miss Hattie. Miss Hattie: Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine. Girls: Hi, Penny. Penny: Hi, guys. Gru: Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but... Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who's actually successful? [laughs] Gru: Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something that's very, very big, very important. When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud. Gru's Mom: Ha! [sarcastically] Good luck with that. Okay, I'm outta here. [hangs up the phone before sending her karate instructor flying] Gru: Gru to see Mr Perkins Receptionist: Yes, please have a seat. Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Young Gru: Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon. Gru's Mom: I'm afraid you're too late, Son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more. Vector: Hey. I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector. It's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, 'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh, yeah! Check out my new weapon. Piranha gun! Oh, yes! Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it. Do you want a demonstration? Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my... Receptionist: Mr Gru, Mr Perkins will see you now. Gru: So, all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket. And then, the moon is ours. Perkins: Wow! Well, very nice presentation. I'd like to see this shrink ray. Gru: Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it. Perkins: You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money? Gru: Apparently. Perkins: Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru? With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit. How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back... Get the picture? Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there, younger than you, hungrier than you, younger than you. Like that young fellow out there named Vector. He just stole a pyramid! Gru: I've got it. I've got it. So, as far as getting money for the rocket... Perkins: Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk. Minion: Suckers! Suckers! Gru: We got it! What? Hey! Hey! What! Hey! No, no, no! You! Vectors: Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru! Gru: Quick! We can't let him get away! Up ahead! Up ahead! Fire! Fire, now! Vector: You missed me! Gru: Come to papa! Take that. Vector: How adorable. Gru: Got you in our sights! Like taking candy from a... What? Vector: Hey, Gru! Try this on for size! Gru: That's weird. What is going... This is claustrophobic! No, no, no! Too small! This is too small for me! [groans] I hate that guy. Margo: ...and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep. Edith: And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears and lay eggs in our brains. Margo: Great. Thanks for that image, Edith. Agnes: And please bless that someone will adopt us soon, and that the mommy and daddy will be nice and have a pet unicorn. Amen. Margo/Edith: Amen. Agnes: Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them Uni, uni, unicorns I love them Uni, unicorns, I could pet one If they were really real And they are So, I bought one so I could pet it Now it loves me Now I love it Gru: Don't you... What the... Good luck, little girls! Edith: Whoa! Cool. Margo: Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls. Vector: I don't care. Beat it! Margo: Come on! We're selling

cookies so, you know, we can have a better future. Vector: Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties? Margo: Yeah. Gru: Light bulb. Dr Nefario! I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies! Dr. Nefario: What? Gru: Cookie robots! Dr. Nefario: Who is this? - Gru: Oh, forget it. Mrs. Hattie: Well, it appears you have cleared our background check, Dr Gru. And I see you have made a list of some of your personal achievements. Thank you for that. I love reading. And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor and a knighthood. - Minions: Me, me, me. Me, me, me. Minion: Kevin? Mrs. Hattie: You had your own cooking show and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds? It's not that impressive. Minion: Idiot! - Minions: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Mrs Hattie: What in the name of... What? Gru: Well, here's the dealio. Things have been so lonely since my wife, Debbie, passed on. It's like my heart is a tooth, and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children. I'm sorry. You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish? Mrs. Hattie: Do I look like I speak Spanish? Gru: You have a face como un burro. Mrs. Hattie: Well, thank you! Gru: Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption? So, so excited! Mrs. Hattie: Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby. Margo: I bet the mom is beautiful! Edith: I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle. Agnes: I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears. [Edith and Margo look at her curiously] I'm just saying it'd be nice. [picks up a Cheeto] Aww. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly. Edith: That's a Cheeto. Agnes: Oh... [eats said Cheeto, making Edith and Margo recoil in disgust] Miss Hattie: Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman. [pause] Gru: Who's Debbie? Mrs Hattie: Your wife. Hi, girls! Girls, I want you to meet Mr Gru. He's going to adopt you. And he's a dentist! Agnes: Yeah! Margo: Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith. And that's Agnes. Agnes: [sing-song] I got your leg, I got your leg! Gru: Okay, that is enough, little girl. Let go of my leg. Come on. You can do it. Agnes: Higher! Higher! Gru: Just release your grip. Wow! How do you remove them? Is there a command? Some nonstick spray? Crowbar? [sighs] Okay, girls, let's go. [They drove off in the distance.]Vector: Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! Pretty impressive! What are you looking at? Boo-ya! You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash! Take that! You done been shrunk! (His phone rings) Yello? I got the shrink ray, all right. No, I'm not playing with it. Gru? Don't make me laugh! No. P.S., he is not getting the moon, and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him, he's gonna be begging for mercy. (Shrinks a toilet) Okay, bye. (Hangs up) Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby to... [The toilet pops out and water sprays him.]Vector: Curse you, tiny toilet! [Gru and the Girls arrive at Gru's Home.] Gru: "Okay, here we are. Home sweet home. Margo: So... This is, like, your house? [realizing] Wait a sec... You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message! Gru: No, that was someone else. [Margo gives a skeptical look before she, Edith and Agnes enter Gru's house, with Gru following suite.] Agnes: [scared] Can I hold your hand? Gru: Uh... No. Edith: [looks around] When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like "Annie". Gru: No, hey! [screams] Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests. Girls, this is Kyle, my... Dog. Kyle snarls in anger. Agnes: Ooh! Fluffy doggy! [approaches Kyle before he runs away, much to her disappointment] Margo: What kind of dog is that? Gru: He is a... I don't know. Margo: Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids? 'Cause, uh... It's not. [Edith sees a closet that is sharp and goes in it.] Gru: No! No! Stay away from there! It's frag... [He sees juice spilling on the floor.]Both: (Gasps) Gru: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. Edith: [muffled] Hey! It's dark in here. [Gru opens the iron maiden, revealing Edith, who spits out a straw]Edith: It poked a hole in my juice box. [They went to the

kitchen.] Gru: As you can see, I have provided everything a child might need. All right. Okay. As I was saying... (Edith knocked a bottle down) Gru: (Cont'd) Hey! Oh. Edith: Somebody broke that. Gru: "Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one. You will not touch anything. Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor? Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor. Margo: What about the air? Gru: Yes, you may touch the air! Edith: (Gets out a laser gun) What about this? Gru: (Screams) Where did you get that? Edith: [shrugs] Found it. Gru: Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three. You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart! So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right? Agnes: Does this count as annoying? [popping] Gru: Very! [sighs] I will see you in six hours. Margo: Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes? Gru: Question. What are these? Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots! Boogie! Look at this. Watch me! Gru: Cookie robots. I said cookie robots. Why are you so old? Dr. Nefario: Okay. I'm on it. Margo: Hello? Agnes: TV! Margo: What is that? Edith: Whoa! That is cool! Come on! Agnes: I don't think he's a dentist.Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this for a while. It's a anti-gravity serum. I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure. Gru: Do the effects wear off? Dr. Nefario: So far, no. No, they don't. And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. Gru: No, no. I said "dart gun," not... Okay. Dr. Nefario: Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this? But, anyway. What I really wanted to show you was this. Gru: Now those are cookie robots! Agnes: La, la, la, la I love unicorns Gru: What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen! Margo: We got bored. What is this place? Edith: Can I drink this? Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode? [Edith kicks him in the shin] Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Get back in the kitchen! Agnes: Will you play with us? Gru: No. Agnes: Why? Gru: Because I'm busy. Margo: [scoffs] Doing what? Gru: Umm... Okay, okay, you got me. The dentist thing is more of a hobby. In real life, I am a spy. And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody, because if you do... Edith: What does this do? [She fires a laser and it hits Agnes's unicorn and it burns to ashes]Gru: Hey! Edith: Whoops. Agnes: My unicorn! You have to fix it. Gru: Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed. [Agnes gasps in shock, then starts holding her breath] Gru: That's freaking me out. What is she doing? Margo: She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one. Gru: [sighs] It is just a toy. Now stop it! (Agnes faints) Gru: Okay, okay! I'll fix it! Tim! Mark! Phil! This is very important. You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy. Gru: Hey, hey, hey! A toy! Go, and hurry! What are those? Gru: They are my... Cousins. Jerry! Stuart! Watch them and keep them away from me please. [The three minions put on a disguise and head to the store.]Minions: Wow!- Wow! [Meanwhile the two minions and the girls are tossing toilet paper at each other. Gru comes up and he sees the Girls and the two minions having fun.]Edith: It was your cousin's idea. Jerry: What? Gru: Okay, bedtime. Girls: Aww... Minions: Aww... Gru: Not you two! Minions: Yay. Gru: Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams. Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad. Gru: I think I can live with that. Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs? Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn. Edith: "Cool." Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?" Gru: No. Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story. Gru: Well, then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. And there's probably something in your closet. Margo: He's just kidding, Agnes. Agnes: It's beautiful. Gru: Girls, let's go.

Time to deliver the cookies! Margo: Okay. But first, we're going to dance class. Gru: Actually, we're going to have to skip the dance class today. Margo: Actually, we can't skip the dance class today. We have a big recital coming up. We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake. Agnes: Yeah, Swan Lake! Gru: That's fantastic. Wonderful. But we're going to deliver cookies! Come on! Margo: No. Gru: No? Margo: We're not going to deliver cookies until we do dance class. Really? Gru: Well, I am not driving you to dance class. So if you want to go, you are going to have to walk yourselves. What are you doing? Margo: Walking to dance class. Gru: Ya? Okay, fine. You just keep walking, because I'm really not driving you! Margo: Okay. Gru: You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru! Seriously, I'm going to count to three! And you had better be in this car! Here we go! One! Two! Teacher: ...three, four and five. And lift, and stretch. And one, and two... Agnes: Here you go. Gru: What is it? Agnes: Your ticket to the dance recital. You are coming, right? Gru: Of course, of course. I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on. Agnes: Pinkie promise? Gru: Oh, yes. My pinkie promises. All right. Our first customer is a man named Vector. Margo: But he's a V. You know, we're supposed to start with the A's. Then we go to the B's. Then we... Gru: Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten. I know how the alphabet works! I was just thinking that it might be nice to deliver Mr Vector's first. That is all. Almost over. It's almost over. Vector: Girls, welcome back to the fortress of Vector-tude! Do you have my cookies for me? Margo: Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes, two caramel clumpies and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties. Vector: Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies. Not likely. Name one person who ordered more cookies than me. Margo: That'll be $52. Vector: Right. Seven, eight, nine... Tic Tacs! Where was I? Seven, eight, nine... Agnes: Why are you wearing pyjamas? Vector: These aren't pyjamas! This is a warm-up suit. Edith: What are you warming up for? Vector: Stuff. Agnes: What sort of stuff? Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand. Agnes: Like sleeping? Vector: They are not pyjamas! Here you go, 52 big ones. Bye! Gru: Come on! Vector: What the...? Quiet down, fish. Down, boy!Gru: [laughs] We did it! Come on, girls, let's go! Margo: But what about the other people who ordered cookies? Gru: Life is full of disappointments... For some people. [chuckles ominously] Agnes: (Screams) Gru: Don't do that! Agnes: Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please? Gru: No. Edith: But we've never been. And it's the funnest place on earth! Gru: "Don't care." Girls: Please? Please? We'll never ask for anything else, ever again! Pretty please? Please? Come on! Come on! Gru: "Light bulb." Edith: Come on! Gru: "Goodbye, have fun. [He began to leave. But a attendant of the roller coaster stopped him.]Carnival Ride Worker: Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult. Gru: What? [groans] [Soon Gru gets sick from the roller coaster ride.]Agnes: Oh, my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die! Margo: You've gotta let us play for it! Gru: No, no, no. Agnes: Come on! Gru: How much for the fluffy unicorn?Carnival Barker: Well, it is not for sale. But all you gotta do to win it is knock down that little spaceship there. It's easy! Agnes: Yay! Again! Margo: Wait! Edith: Come on. One more time! Agnes: Just one more. I accidentally closed my eyes. I hit it! I hit it! Edith: That was cool. Awww. Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.Carnival Barker: Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Somebody's got a frowny face. Boo! Better luck next time! Gru: Okay, my turn. [Gru uses a fire gun and it blows up the whole booth.]Gru: "Knocked over!" Agnes: It's so fluffy! Yeah! Margo: That was

awesome! Edith: You blew up the whole thing! Agnes: Let's go. Let's try another game!Dr. Nefario: Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word? Gru: Okay, girls, go play. I got the shrink ray! Cotton candy! Dr. Nefario: We have 12 days until the moon is in optimum position. We can't afford any distractions! Gru: Get me Perkins. Sorry to bother you, Mr Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! Mr. Perkins: What? Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. I fly to the moon. I shrink the moon. I grab the moon. I sit on the toi-let. What? (girls start laughing) Sorry. Sorry! Could you excuse me for just one second? I told you not to touch my things. I told you, I told you. I've told you a thousand times. Margo: Hey, can we order pizza? Gru: Pizza? You just had lunch. Edith: Not now, for dinner. Gru: Dinner? Just... Fine, fine, fine, whatever. Just get back in there! Margo: Can we get stuffed crust? Agnes and Jerry: Stuffed crust!Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust! Agnes: [giggles] You're funny! Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! All right. Sorry about that. Where were we? Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet. Gru: No, no, no! No, I'm sorry. It was a little attempt at humor. I know how much you like to laugh... [Mr. Perkins glares at him] Inside. Eh, now, I was saying... [the door suddenly opens] You don't seem terribly focused, Gru. Believe me, I am completely focused. Right? Edith: Hello! Mr. Perkins: What? Edith: That guy is huge! Agnes: Are we on TV? Mr. Perkins: What are those? Children?Gru: What are you doing? I told you to stay out of here! No, no, no! *Agnes: Freeze ray!Mr. Perkins: Mr Gru? Gru: Okay. As I was saying... Mr. Perkins: No need to continue. I've seen quite enough. Gru: But my plan... Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan. I love everything about your plan, except for one thing. You. Young Gru: Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! Look, Mom, I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! Look, Mom, I made a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype! Gru: I don't understand. Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a... Well, a younger villain. Gru: But I... Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. Gru: Now, I know there have been some rumours going around that the bank is no longer funding us. Well, I am here to put those rumours to rest. They are true. In terms of money, we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear. We won't. We are doomed. Now would probably be a good time to look for other employment options. I know. I have fired up my resume as I suggest that all of you do, as well. What is it? Can't you see that I am in the middle of a pep talk? Yes! Yes, we will build our own rocket using this and whatever else we can find! Grab everything! Hit the junkyards! Take apart the cars! Who needs the bank? Let's go. Let's go! Mom! What are you doing here? Gru's Mom: And here he is in the bathtub. Look at his little buns. Gru: Mom. Not cool. Gru's Mom: And here, he's all dressed up in his Sunday best. Margo: He looks like a girl! Gru's Mom: Yes, he does. An ugly girl! Agnes: You're funny! Edith: Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy! Receptionist: Mr. Perkins, your son is here. Mr. Perkins: Send him in. Vector: Hey, Dad. You wanted to see me? Mr. Perkins: Yes, I did, Victor. - Vector: I am not Victor anymore. Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector! Mr. Perkins: Sit down. Do you know where the shrink ray is? Vector: Duh! Back at my place. Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? That's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that looks exactly like it! Vector: What the...?! Those girls sold me cookies! Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be? I give you the opportunity of a lifetime, and you just blow it! Vector: No, I didn't. Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?Vector: You just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon. Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah! Man:

There's a squid on my face!Vector: Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours. Gru: Come on now, it's bedtime. Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell. Let me smell. You did not! Put on your PGs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it! Edith: But we're not tired! Gru: Well, I am tired. Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story? [pause] Gru: No. Agnes: Pretty please? Gru: The physical appearance of the "please" makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep. Edith: But we can't. We're all hyper! Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you. All night long. Gru: [sighs] Fine. All right, all right. Sleepy Kittens. Sleepy Kittens? What are these? Agnes: Puppets. You use them when you tell the story. Gru: Okay, let's get this over with. "Three little kittens loved to play, they had fun in the sun all day. "Then their mother came out and said, 'Time for kittens to go to bed."' Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this? Agnes: Keep reading! Edith: Come on! Gru: All right, all right, all right. "Three little kittens started to bawl, "'Mommy, we're not tired at all.' "Their mother smiled and said with a purr, "'Fine, but at least you should brush your fur."' Edith: Now you brush the fur. Gru: This is literature? A 2-year-old could have written this. All right. "Three little kittens with fur all brushed "said, 'We can't sleep, we feel too rushed! ' "Their mother replied, with a voice like silk, "'Fine, but at least you should drink your milk."' Agnes: Now make them drink the milk. Gru: I don't like this book. This is going on forever. "Three little kittens, with milk all gone, rubbed their eyes and started to yawn. "'We can't sleep, we can't even try.' Then their mother sang a lullaby. "'Good night kittens, close your eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise. "'Though while you sleep, we are apart, "'your mommy loves you with all her heart."' The end. Okay, good night. Agnes: Wait! Gru: What? Agnes: What about good night kisses? Gru: No, no. There will be no kissing or hugging or kissing. Margo: He is not gonna kiss us good night, Agnes. Agnes: I like him. He's nice.Edith: [turns off her light] But scary. Like Santa! Dr. Nefario: Only 48 hours till the launch, and all systems are go. Gru: About that, I was thinking that maybe we could move the date of the heist. Dr. Nefario: Please tell me this is not as a result of the girls' dance recital, is it? Gru: No, no, no! The recital? Don't... That's stupid! I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday. I was thinking, maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right? Dr. Nefario: Gru, you and I have been working on this for years. It's everything we've dreamed of. Your chance to make history, become the man who stole the moon! But these girls are becoming a major distraction! They need to go. If you don't do something about it, then I will. Gru: I understand. Dr. Nefario: Good. Minion: Butt. Butt. Butt. Gru: All right. Now, when we put our cups together, we will make the "clink" sound with our mouths. Ready? Edith? Gru: and Edith: Clink. Gru: There we go. And now we drink. And Agnes? Gru and Agnes: Clink. Gru: Very good! Excuse me, girls. Girls: Come on! Gru: Don't worry, I'll be back. Keep clinking. - Clink, clink. - Clink, clink.Gru: Miss Hattie, what are you doing here? Miss Hattie: I'm here for the girls. I received a call that you wanted to return them. [Gru gives her a quizzical look] And also, I did purchase a Spanish dictionary. [swats Gru's head with the dictionary] I didn't like what you said. Gru: But... I will get the girls ready. Agnes: Don't let her take us, Mr. Gru! Tell her you wanna keep us. Mrs. Hattie: All right, girls. Come on, let's go. Margo: Goodbye, Mr. Gru. Thanks for everything. Dr. Nefario: I did it for your own good. Come on, let's go get that moon. Gru: Right. What is this for? The recital? I am the greatest criminal mind of the century. I don't go to little girls' dance recitals! Dr. Nefario: Opening launch bay

doors. Commencing launch sequence. And we are good to go in T minus 10 seconds. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... Vector: Oh, yeah! Gru: Nice work, Doctor. All systems go. Vector: Boo-ya! My flight suit. Oh, yeah! Once again, the mighty... Gru: I've got it! I've got the moon! I've got the moon. I can make it. Dr. Nefario: Wait a minute! Jerry: Kevin! Gru: Come on! Come on! Agnes: He's still not here. Margo: Why would he come? He gave us up. Agnes: But he pinkie promised! Teacher: Girls, girls, places. Edith: No, we can't start yet! We're still expecting someone. Agnes: Can we just wait a few more minutes? Teacher: All right. But just a few more minutes. Margo: He's not coming, guys. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru, can you hear me? Quick, we have to warn him, and fast!Gru: Okay, okay. There's the library. That's Third Street. The dance studio... There! There! There it is! Janitor: Sorry, buddy. Show's over.Gru: Over? Gru: Vector, open up! Vector: First give me the moon. Then we'll talk. Agnes: Mr. Gru! Vector: Zip it, Happy Meal. Gru: Now, the girls. Vector: Actually, I think I'll hold on to them a little while longer. Gru: No! Vector: Oh, yeah! Unpredictable! Gru: Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain! Vector: [laughs sarcastically] I'm really scared. Agnes: He is gonna kick your butt. Vector: What? He punched my shark! Dr. Nefario: There he is! Hang on, Gru. Oh, no! Gru: Vector has the girls. Go! Dr. Nefario: What happened to the ship? It's big again! Not as big as the moon is going to be! Gru: What? Dr. Nefario: The larger the mass of an object, the quicker the effects of the shrink ray wear off! I call it the Nefario Principle. I just came up with it now, actually. Gru: Oh, no! Margo: Did you see that? Girls: Vector! Help! Vector! Over here! Vector: Hey! What are you girls doing back there? Girls: The moon! Watch out! Vector: Ouch! Gru: Get as close in as you can. You got it. Margo: Mr Gru, up here! Agnes and Edith: Mr Gru! Gru: Okay, girls! Girls! You're going to have to jump. Edith: Jump? Are you insane? Gru: Don't worry, I will catch you. Margo: You gave us back! Gru: I know, I know. And it is the worst mistake I ever made. But you have to jump now. Margo: It'll be okay. Gru: Okay, girls. Margo: Jump now! Gru: Margo, I will catch you. And I will never let you go again. Vector: Not so fast! Gru: No! Margo: Let me go! Gru: Margo! I'm coming, Margo. Hang on! I got you.Vector: No! Oh, poop. News Reporter: This time, good triumphs, and the moon has been returned to its rightful place in the sky. But once again, law enforcement is baffled, leaving everyone to wonder, who is this mysterious hero? And what will he do next? Gru: Okay, girls. Time for bed. Edith: Come on! We want a story. Agnes: Three sleepy kittens! Gru: Oh, no! Sorry. That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously. Tonight we are going to read a new book. This one is called One Big Unicorn by... Who wrote this? Me! I wrote it. Look, it's a puppet book! Here, watch this. That's the horn! Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever! Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but, yes, it probably will be. Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free "thought he was happy as he could be. "Then three little kittens came around "and turned his whole life upside down." Edith: Hey, that one looks like me! Gru: No, what are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. "They made him laugh. "They made him cry. "He never should have said goodbye. "And now he knows he could never part "from those three little kittens "that changed his heart. "The end." Okay, all right. Good night. Margo: I love you. Gru: I love you, too. No, no! All right. Didn't I get you already? They're very good! Gru's Mom: I'm so proud of you, Son. You've turned out to be a great parent! Just like me. Maybe even better. Gru: No, I'm fine. Go ahead. No, no, no! THE END Hey, Carl! Hey. No, no, no. Me, me, me. John? No, no. Me, me, me. Oh,

poop. Oh, no! Stop! Stop! Hello, I am Gru. Back to work, back to work! Back to…

IS THIS THE ENTIRE FUCKING SCRIPT?

[lizisodd]

beloved! downton day is RAPIDLY approaching, are you excited 😭 also have you heard the music by michelle dockery and michael fox? i am obsessed 🥺

Beloved Mel! Unfortunately I have been swept up in my brother's wedding plans (the shower is Downton weekend, a horrible oversight on my mother's part), and as all our footmen have quit, I have been pressed into service. (A maid serving in the dining room, don't tell Carson.)

Also, on a more melancholy note, my mom, grandma, and I watched the show and saw the first movie together, but my grandma's mind isn't all there anymore and I don't think she'd enjoy sitting through two hours of stuff she doesn't understand (even though we all know the plot will be dumb AF and nonsensical anyway), so I haven't really discussed seeing the movie alone with my mom. Maybe over Memorial Day weekend.

I only briefly saw some headlines that Lady Mary and Andy collaborated on music together, as I was more caught up in the fact that he knocked up Edith. Just don't send this bastard to live with the pig farmer, that didn't end well for anyone. (Poor Mrs. Farmer's Wife 🐖)

I just listened to Michael & Michelle, and isn't that the tweest band name since She & Him. I liked the first and last tracks the most, and as a basic bitch 2000s indie kid, I'll listen some more.

How about you—are your opening night tickets booked and what are your thoughts on the music?

I can't believe Matthew Goode got out of this thing but Maggie Smith didn't. 😂

[yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy]

Magic and Miracles and BEYOND Chapter 15

Woooo! Behold, the reignition of Magic and Miracles and BEYOND.

So, in case anyone was wondering, why yes, yes this does come from personal experience. Being in a high speed car accident SUCKS. Being careflighted from the scene and having all your clothes cut off of you, SUCKS. Having a tube crammed down your throat and being put on a breathing machine SUPER SUCKS especially when your brain wakes up and you're screaming at your body to breathe AND IT WON'T FUCKING LISTEN, SSSSUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKSSS. Having your mother, who you love dearly and your world would fall apart if anything ever happened to her be in the passenger seat with you in said accident OH MY GOD, IT SUPER DUPER SUCKS and she was just as scared and freaked out about me as I was about her. And yes my mother's ribs were broken and it took her forever to recover. Because usually if your arm is broken, you put it into a cast and you don't use it or touch it, it's fine. But your RIBS? You need to breathe! Constantly. There is no putting it into a cast and not moving, you need them to move so you can keep breathing! And it FUCKING HURTS.

Also, there is a nod to canon FFXV Kingsglaive in this too.

@the-immortal-marshal this is for you. This is your chapter. If you had not shown me the ways of the angst and I had not gone through what I have, this chapter may have never been written because I couldn't write it from experience. So, to balance all of the previous sweetness, here is- the angst, the hurt, the sorrow, the fear, the terror, the anguish and all of the wonderful- put your stomach in a knot anxiety. Enjoy.

Magic and Miracles and Beyond

Chapter 15

Two weeks later-

“Ok, we’re on our way to pick up Grandma Edie and then we’ll meet you there ok? Love you, bye.” Selena informed Ravus as she and her mom Sabrina were on their way to pick up Edith to take them to the florist to pick out flowers for Selena’s wedding and just as they were about to go through an intersection for a green light, two cars, a red brand new charger and a brand new black camaro, who had been racing each other, driven by the now graduated William Ronchester, aka Billy, the former captain of Niflheim Academy's football team and one of his former teammates- Chad Frawns, as the cars ran the red light and t-boned them, hitting the passenger side of the car where Selena was sitting and crashed their vehicle into the cars on the other side of them and thus into the cars that were starting to come in from the other side, so that it involved the already ten lanes of traffic, two lanes of traffic plus a turn lane in each direction, in the impact and carnage, Sabrina’s car got crumpled and overturned, pinning Sabrina and Selena between several other cars and upside down.

“Selena!” Ravus yelled into the phone when he heard the crash and her blood curdling scream through the phone and then the call dropped and when Ravus tried calling her back, it went straight to voicemail before he got on the app that showed where they were and rushed to his mom’s office from his own.

“Mom! Selena just crashed!” Ravus boomed as he came into his mother’s office before Sylva’s eyes went wide.

“I have to call you back.” She said into her phone as she quickly got up.

“Where? Where did Selena crash?” Sylva asked.

“At Kilgore and Stadium.” Ravus answered as his heart was pounding in his ears.

“Ok, ok, get down to the emergency room, I’ll dispatch an ambulance.” Sylva assured her son as she hit the speed dial on her phone and did just that as Ravus nodded and turned and hurried out and called Gladio.

“Please tell me you are out on patrol.” Ravus pleaded with Gladio.

“Yeah, why?”

“How close are you to Kilgore and Stadium, Selena just wrecked, she’s with her mom.” Ravus answered as he practically willed the elevator to get to the ground level as fast as it could.

“We can be there in about seven minutes.” Gladio told him.

“Dad, Selena and her mom just wrecked. We got to go make sure they’re ok. Kilgore and Stadium.” Gladio repeated to his father.

“On it.” Clarus nodded and put the sirens on and just then, a call came in about the crash over the radio before other first responders got called in as Sylva quickly got rooms ordered and readied for Selena and her mom and whoever else was in the crash as Ravus called Dorian. “Dorian, Selena and Sabrina just crashed.” Ravus informed his soon to be father in law.

“I know, I just got the call from Sabrina, they got t-boned, two knuckleheads were racing each other and ran the red light. They’re alive, I don’t know how ok they are though. I’m on my way there now, call Nyx for me, I gotta drive.” Dorian requested as he hastily left work to go there.

“Will do.” Ravus answered before he called Nyx.

“Nyx, your mom and your sister just got into a car accident. Your dad said he got off the phone with your mom so they’re both alive, I just don’t know how hurt they are.” Ravus informed Nyx.

“Where?” Nyx asked.

“Stadium and Kilgore.” Ravus answered.

“I can be there in five.” Nyx said since that was closest to his work.

“Stacy! My mom and Selena were in a car accident, I gotta go!” Nyx hollered as he literally dropped what he was doing and made a run for the back door as Libertus picked up the dishes Nyx was about to finish before Nyx had dropped them and finished them and put them out before he quickly called Crowe to let her know what had happened since it was her day off.

Ravus finally got down to the ER and logged in to see which room Selena would be going into as he could see that his mom had already registered her to a room before he heard the code, it was an accident that involved several vehicles, one was overturned and first responders were on scene as many others were rushing in as dozens of ambulances were sent into the scene.

Ravus knew from the descriptions that the red overturned vehicle- was Sabrina’s before Sylva appeared in the ER only a few moments after Ravus did as she walked them to the nurses’ station.

“Sabrina’s car is overturned.” Ravus revealed to her as Luche came only a moment later.

“I’m so sorry Rae, hopefully they’re both ok.” Luche offered as Sylva nodded as she gently moved Ravus from the computer as she quickly got in there and made more arrangements in the computer and Ravus was too sick with fright to take notice of what was happening as Luche just put his arm around Ravus’ shoulder in an effort to comfort him. Remembering how sick with worry he was when Ada had been kidnapped before Sylva put them into the room Selena would be going into to get out of the nurse’s and doctor’s way in the nurses station.

Meanwhile Tredd had suited up and came with the other firefighters to the scene since his firehouse was only a few minutes away and his stomach dropped when he recognized Sabrina’s car and he was the first one off the truck as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him over to Sabrina’s car and recognized Sabrina as the airbags were deflating and hanging down as he cut them out so he could see them easier as Selena had passed out, her limbs had gone limp as her right arm hung down, clearly broken and mangled as her left arm hung as well while her legs were pinned inside the crumpled footwell, her promise ring and engagement rings sliding off her fingers and dropping to the broken glass that covered the mangled ceiling of the car as blood started dripping from all of Selena’s right side since she was the passenger seat.

“Get her out, get her out!” Sabrina screamed as she tried to reach over to touch Selena’s left arm to make sure she was still alive because upon impact, Selena had instantly screamed and when the car came to a stop, Selena had lost her phone in the wreck but Sabrina’s was still in it’s holder on the crumpled dash which allowed Sabrina to call Dorian but after that first scream, Selena went deathly quiet and Sabrina had feared for the worst and was screaming her head off for help. Tredd cut Sabrina out of the car and with herculean strength pulled her out and into the arms of the other EMT’s who had come to her aid before other’s came as Tredd crawled into the space where Sabrina had been to get to Selena.

“Selena!” Tredd yelled, hoping to get a response.

“Jaws of life! I need the jaws of life!” Tredd called as he tried to make sure she was still alive and felt some relief when she was at least breathing and had a pulse but he could see the blood seeping into her clothes as Selena's body simply hung there from the seatbelt.

“Come on Selena, you gotta stay with me, come on baby girl, pull through.” Tredd tried to coach as his fellow firefighters came with the jaws of life and crowbars to untangle the crumpled door and side panels to get her out as Sabrina was loaded into an ambulance and immediately taken to the hospital as Tredd held Selena's neck in place and kept his fingers on thumbs on her pulse to make sure her heart was still beating.

“The car is starting to smoke! It’s gonna catch fire! We gotta get her out!” His captain hollered as the others worked on breaking her out and what felt like hours but was in reality only minutes- they got the door and body panel off before Tredd let go of her neck as an EMT secured it with a C-collar and flipped onto his back to catch Selena once her seatbelt was cut as paramedics and Gladio came over to help get her out of the carnage and onto a stretcher before she was rushed to another waiting ambulance as Tredd had rolled over and noticed her rings and quickly picked them up and pocketed them and got out of there just as the car then caught fire just as Nyx ran to the scene.

“Selena!” Nyx hollered as he ran towards them.

“That’s her brother, let him through.” Gladio and Tredd told the paramedics who let him approach.

“Selena?” Nyx asked as he grabbed her hand and squeezed but she didn’t squeeze back as Selena was strapped into the stretcher.

“She’s not responsive, I got a pulse and breathing but it’s shallow and awfully quick and she’s unconscious.” Tredd reported to the EMT’s as Gladio, Clarus and him ran with the stretcher and EMT”s.

“And these came off of her.” Tredd said as he gave Nyx the rings as Nyx simply grabbed them and put them into his own pocket before he got in the ambulence with Selena as Dorian had already gotten into Sabrina's ambulence with her as Libertus got off work and drove Crowe to the scene to pick up Nyx's truck and take it to the hospital.

“We’ll clear a path.” Clarus offered as he and Gladio left with Selena’s ambulance as the others who had come and gotten their charges from the accidents as Tredd then took care of putting Sabrina’s car fire out before he tried to salvage what he could from it, like their purses and other personal affects and sent them with Crowe and Libertus who came shortly after Selena left as Tredd told them what he found when he got there before he got called back to help with the others who had gotten invovled in the crash.

Meanwhile on the way to the hospital, Gladio called Ravus back.

“Ok, Tredd got to them first, he got Sabrina out of the car and helped pry Selena out of it. The fire department had to use the jaws of life to get her out before the car caught fire. Ravus, she’s...she’s not responsive. She’s barely breathing and has a weak pulse and she’s bleeding, a lot, Nyx is following us to the hospital. Right now we’re leading the way to you.” Gladio gravely informed him as his own tears flooded his vision as emotion choked his voice, never wanting to find his friends like this.

Ravus simply closed his eyes and winced as tears continued to stream down his face as his heart dropped and gut knotted up anxiously as he sat down in the room that Selena would be taken to once she got there as Sylva was still orchestrating all the surgery rooms if there needed to be any surgery for Sabrina or Selena as she also pulled all available nurses into the E.R. because she needed all hands on deck for the sudden influx of patients.

Sabrina was brought in first as her clothes were cut off of her as she was checked over before Sylva managed to squeeze into the room as Sabrina answered the nurses and doctor’s questions as best she could as they checked her over.

“Has anyone heard anything about my daughter? She was with me in the crash, she wasn’t responsive when I left.” Sabrina asked as tears streamed down her cheeks from inside the C-collar neck brace.

“Sabrina, she’s on her way here, Tredd pulled her out of that wreckage himself, she’s alive, she’s coming straight here, right now, just focus on your own recovery. I swear on my life we will do whatever it takes to make sure she’ll pull through.” Sylva offered as she came into view from Sabrina’s head and held her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Thank you Sylva.” Sabrina thanked her before a roar of medics barking codes at the nurses was heard. “That’s her, I gotta go.” Sylva said as she quickly slipped out of receiving room into the others and simply stood on the wall and listened closely and watched as Selena was also cut out of her clothes, quickly intubated and rushed into a CT scan as she followed and Sylva’s heart was in her throat when she saw the blood pooling into Selena’s brain and had to cover her mouth to keep herself from crying out as Selena was then rushed into surgery as Sylva herself got prepped for surgery too and made sure she had multiple teams working on Selena as Sylva was silently praying like her life depended on for Selena to pull through as she did her best to kick into doctor mode since she had more than enough adrenaline pumping through her body and mind to do so.

Crowe and Libertus came and gave Ravus Selena's purse before going to Dorian to deliver his wife's purse as well as her phone that had been on the dash before they returned to Selena's room as they, Luche, Ravus, Nyx and Luna all crowded around the computer in Selena’s room as Ravus cradled Selena’s bloodied and scratched and damaged rings in his hands as Selena's purse was between his feet as Nyx had handed them to him before Pelna, Yasmine and Stella came rushing in, Yasmine, putting her own medical coat on since she was in the doctorate program already as she, Luna and Stella poured over the medical jargon.

“I got a call from Pashmina who heard from Gladio that Selena’s in the OR.” Yasmine explained before she got around to the computer to see everything.

“Fuck!” Yasmine cursed as she read through it.

“Everyone start praying, Selena will need a miracle. She has a brain bleed, but they're trying to relieve it by going in through her arteries and pulling the blood out that way, instead of cutting her head open, a brain bleed that means blood is rushing into her skull and putting pressure on the brain, if they don’t relieve the pressure, either artillary or otherwise, she’ll either be a vegetable or could very well die. Her seventh through twelfth ribs broke and they punctured her lungs and her liver, that’s why she can’t hardly breathe and she’s inundated and she’s bleeding internally because of the punctured liver and the broken ribs punctured her side, so she’s bleeding externally and internally. But good news is her spine doesn’t seem to be damaged, so far, so yay on the paraplegia and possible quadrapalegic, we’re still waiting to see if her legs are broken or not but her right forearm is definitely broken in two places, both the radius and the ulna, compound fractures but her top priority is that brain bleed and punctured liver and lungs.” Yasmine offered as the rest of them simply wept and prayed because there was nothing else for them to do.

Meanwhile-

Selena was having the most peculiar dream, she was on a beach as she saw a really blonde guy painting a picture as two little blonde kids played in the sand, making a sandcastle with their mom but they either didn’t see her or were ignoring her.

“Selena,” the guy called her over as he smiled and waived her over. He looked familiar. Almost like a cross between Ravus and his uncle Vincent.

“Well hello there, it’s a pleasure to meet you, sit and rest a while.” He invited as he gestured to the sunchair next to him in the sheltered cabana after they shook hands.

“Your artwork is beautiful.” She praised as she saw it.

“Why thank you, no matter how many times I’ve repainted this picture, it’s never quite perfect.” He mused as he looked from the picture to the scene he was trying to paint.

“Repainted it?” Selena felt compelled to ask.

“Yup. I’ve repainted this picture many times, in more styles than I can count. But I always come back to this one, trying to make it look as real as I can, like a photograph. Like Paul Cezanne, painting his favorite mountain over and over again, trying to get it perfect.” He mused with a soft chuckle.

“Why this one?” Selena asked.

“Because this is one of my favorite memories. Ravus and Lunafreya aren’t arguing or fighting over anything, they’re getting along wonderfully. Sylva is happy and fully immersed into motherhood, the one thing she feels in her heart she was meant to do but her body wouldn’t agree. And she isn’t being pulled in a thousand and one directions, by her work, by her parents, or anything else. She’s simply present and enjoying the moment without having to always figure out and plan for the future. She always looks so young and her energy is equally so, but her soul is quite old, all the worry taxes her quite a bit. But she’ll always be my ray of sunshine.” He praised as he watched his family fondly, trying to make sure he got the hue of their blond hair just right as he mixed white with yellow with a pinch of gold and tan.

“Ravus and Lunafreya?” Selena repeated as she looked from the painting to the little kids and looked closer at them as she tilted her head and recognized them as children.

Suddenly her body felt really warm like it was getting sunburnt as the air got super hot and it was hard to breathe before the cabana stretched over both of them even more as the warmth and burning abated and it felt easier to breathe before pain started to seep into her body as she started to rock and clutch her middle like she had been kicked by a horse or something. Selena wanted to scream but she couldn’t.

“Selena, just breathe, just focus on my voice and the sound of the ocean, it’ll be ok.” He urged before the pain started to slip away again as she felt her body relax again before she noticed a strange bird nearby- chirping a beeping sound. It was kind of annoying but Selena was just grateful she wasn’t in so much pain now.

“Here, now you try.” He insisted as he handed her a canvas as a easel seemed to appear out of nowhere before helping her set up her own palette, sharing all of his paints and getting her set up before she started painting her own picture of them but one moment she could see Sylva, Ravus and Lunafreya as she looked from them to the canvas and, the next when she looked up, she could see Ravus only as an adult now, as he helped three kids build a sandcastle, two little girls, both as blonde and fair as he was, the eldest girl was only 5 or six, the other was only two, then a little boy, who looked to be about 4. He had her darker complexion and brown hair and was just darling as he was carefully sorting through all the seashells, organizing them according to size and kind while the youngest was simply squishing the soft sand between her chubby little fingers over and over again and giggling at the texture while the oldest worked most diligently with Ravus about setting up the base of the sandcastle as she pushed the sand into the bucket and drenching it and making sure the sand was dense and as solid as it could be before she dumped it very carefully where Ravus had directed to her as Selena just watched on happily before she felt a strange yet familiar weight in her abdomen as she laid back into the sunchair and noticed she was pregnant and watched as her feet were impossibly swollen as she simply resigned to enjoy the scene as she sipped on a refreshing but non alcoholic drink as she watched Ravus under his own big umbrella to shield himself and the kids from the scorching sun as it was now the artist in her cabana, the art supplies and canvases now long gone.

“Now, isn’t that a sight you wish you could make last forever?” The artist asked her as he watched the scene with happiness, pride and fondness with a bittersweetness in his eyes.

“Yes.” Selena answered happily.

“Now all you have to do is hang on, just hold onto life as hard as you can. Pain is coming, but you can endure it. If only to enjoy this. You’ll get there, you just got to endure the pain.” He advised her as Selena once again felt pain wrack her body and it felt like she couldn’t hardly breathe.

“Wait for the air, it’ll come, remember, three taps, they mean “I love you”, three squeezes, you can do it, three squeezes.” He urged her as he turned to her and held her left hand and squeezed three times before Selena mirrored the motion as air finally got pushed into her lungs as she breathed in as deep as she could before it was gone again, like it was being sucked out of her a moment later.

“Just wait, it’ll come right back. Just keep your eyes on them, just focus on them , your family, they're worth living and surviving for. The air will come. Just hold onto them. Don’t lose your focus. You have to get through the nightmare before you can make this dream a reality. You can do it Selena, I have faith in you, I’m so proud of you and I am so grateful and thankful for you to come into my family’s lives, you’ll be ok, it’s not time for you to leave them yet, not for a good, long while. Remember, I love you- three squeezes, one, two, three, three taps, one- two- three.” He insisted as he did it again as she did it back.

“Just don’t let go.” He repeated before Selena could hear yelling and machines and the beach started to fade to black as she tried to hold onto him.

“Selena, come on, pull through. You can do it.” The artist’s voice morphed into Sylva’s voice.

Sylva had been talking to Selena, begging her to pull through as she held Selena’s hand as she watched her face before Selena’s hand squeezed her hand back in a pattern of threes as Sylva’s eyes went wide as tears continued to flood her vision as a hopeful smile soon threatened to bloom as Sylva squeezed back three times, like all the times she and Victor would squeeze and tap each other in their way to say ‘I love you’ back when they first met and because Sylva had never heard ‘I love you’ spoken to her often, she had a hard time saying the words so Victor and her worked out that three squeezes, three taps, meant “I love you”. She knew Ravus knew about this, she just felt that he must have told her about this as she hopefully returned the three squeezes before Selena did it back again, over and over again back and forth.

“Atta girl Selena! You’re doing great! We’re almost done, hang on! Just hang on a little longer. You can do it!” Sylva encouraged as she kept squeezing back three times as much as she could.

“Just keep squeezing my hand, let me know you’re still there Sweetheart, listen to my voice, you’re on a breathing machine, just wait for the machine Darling, the air will come.” Sylva coached as she noticed Selena struggle to breathe on the monitors as Sylva and Selena just kept squeezing back and forth as Sylva cried tears of happiness and relief that Selena wasn’t lost mentally. Everything else could be fixed as the doctors were setting her right arm back into place as the surgeons were stitching up her sides from setting her ribs back into place and fixing her punctured liver and lung as it was a miracle that her legs were not also broken. She was almost done with surgery and Sylva had been praying the whole time for Selena to pull through and it seems her prayers had been answered.

Once the surgeries were done, Sylva noticed Selena was crying from her eyes and when she was unplugged from the breathing machine, she started gasping for air, trying to catch her breath.

“She’s breathing on her own, just let her catch her breath.” Sylva ordered.

“We’re done Selena, the surgery is done, we’re going to the room now.” Sylva told Selena as she kept a firm hold of her hand and wouldn’t let go as they kept squeezing three times back and forth.

Selena was brought back to her ICU room in the Emergency room where Ravus and Luna and everyone else was eagerly awaiting them.

“She’s ok, she’s tapping!” Sylva announced happily through her own tears when she saw them as Selena was put into place in the room.

“Tapping?” Ravus and everyone else repeated.

“Ravus you did so good by telling Selena about the tapping and squeezing in threes to say ‘I love you’ the way your father and I used to all the time when you were growing up, Selena was able to squeeze that over and over and over throughout the surgery. She’s there, we didn’t lose her. She’ll be ok.” Sylva announced as Ravus just stared at his mother in confused shock.

“Mom...I never told her about that…” Ravus confessed as Sylva let go of Selena’s hand so that Ravus could hold her hand so Sylva could get changed out of the special operating room scrubs before Selena grasped Ravus’ hand and squeezed three times before he squeezed back in kind before he completely broke down in tears by the bed as they kept doing that back and forth.

“Well then did you?” Sylva turned to Luna who shook her head no.

“I completely forgot about it, I never told her either.” Luna professed as she looked to Nyx.

“I’ve never heard of it either. Dad?” Nyx turned to his dad as everyone else looked at each other in surprise but everyone was at a loss because they had never heard of that kind of thing either.

“No, we don’t have anything like that in our family either.” Dorian shook his head no.

“But she’s squeezing it over and over like her life depends on it.” Ravus confessed before he let Dorian feel it and return it then Nyx got to then Luna got to also, all of them crying tears of happiness to feel it though.

“Maybe she’s trying to say ‘I’m still here’. Three words, ‘I’m still here’.” Regis offered.

“Oh, maybe.” Sylva allowed as she frowned.

“Selena, can you open your eyes?” Dorian asked as he reached out and wiped the tears from her eyes from the other side of her but all Selena did was scrunch her eyes shut as she continued in her labored breathing. It hurt so bad to breathe but her lungs and her body were screaming for air.

“Hey, it’s a response.” Sylva allowed as Ravus got Selena’s hand again and squeezed three times again as Selena’s toes then started tapping together like she was standing up and tapping her foot, three times.

“Yay! Her legs still work!” Dorian cheered.

“And it’s still in threes, ‘I’m still here’.” Regis insisted as he clasped Ravus’ shoulder because Regis had surprisingly been the one to offer the most comfort and support to Ravus through all of this because Regis had been through the same thing several years earlier before Dorian left to tell Sabrina the news that Selena was ok, and asked if Sabrina knew about the tapping or squeezing three times thing and Sabrina as well as everyone else was also at a loss to explain it but Sabrina was relieved to know that she had not lost her daughter and was grateful Selena made it through surgery and was still alive as she was in the next room over as her parents and siblings had come to the hospital and were currently in her room and none of them could come up with a solution either before Selena stopped squeezing and instead tried to sit up before Ravus and Sylva gently tried to push her back down.

“Selena, you’ve been in a really bad car accident, you’re in a neck brace and we need to keep you as flat as we can to make sure your spine is ok. Your right arm is broken and in a cast right now which is why you can’t move it. You also broke some ribs, they hit your lungs and your liver so that’s why your right side probably hurts as bad as it does and we had to intubate you because your ribs hit your lungs, that’s why you can’t talk. But we’re so happy that you’re alive.” Sylva informed her as Selena tried to chew on the tube itself before she got a good bite on it and just kept crying but she was able to lift her left hand as everyone turned their attention to her hand as she held up her index finger to indicate 1 then made a fist.

“One squeeze?” Ravus asked as Selena signed ‘yes’.

“One squeeze means yes?” Ravus asked as Selena signed yes again before she then held up her index and middle finger to indicate two then made a motion of two squeezes and signed in ASL ‘no’.

“Two squeezes say no?” Ravus continued before Selena signed yes again as she felt the strength in her arm start to zap but she needed to get this last bit across if it was the last thing she could do. So then she held up three fingers and slowly spelled ‘I L U’.

“Three means I love you?” Ravus asked as he smiled through his tears before he wiped his falling tears off her face before Selena reached for his hand before she found it and gave one squeeze and then three more squeezes before she gave him a pained smile.

“So it does mean I love you!” Sylva beamed.

“Are you in pain?” Ravus asked and he got one squeeze.

“How much more pain killers can we give her?” Ravus asked as Sylva came over to check Selena’s eyes for a concussion and saw the signs of a small one.

“Her left pupil is larger than her right which is a sign of a concussion.” Sylva realized before she lowered the lights in the room so that they weren’t blinding Selena before she ordered more pain meds before she went and got them herself from the ER pharmacy and came back and administered them herself as Selena took a deep, and steadier breath and began to breathe easier before she squeezed Ravus’ hand four times.

“Is four times ‘thank you’?” Ravus guessed before Selena squeezed one more time as a ghost of a smile spread on her face as she tried to blink away her own tears before she signed ‘mom’.

“Your mom is ok, she’s banged up but not nearly as bad as you Sweetie, she’s in the next room.” Dorian answered before Selena signed ‘ok’.

“Thank the heavens for ASL.” Luna murmured as she wiped her relieved tears from her own eyes as she and Nyx held each other tightly as Gladio and everyone else nodded and murmured their agreement to that before the surgeons made back into the room and gave the family updates on what they found and what they did and about how long it would take for her to heal as Selena raised her hand and pointed to the tube and made a motion to pull it out over and over again.

“How about we move her to a room and make sure she stays stabilized and then we get the tube out.” The surgeons advised.

“On it.” Sylva answered before she had the nurses help get Selena prepped for moving as Sylva also ordered for Sabrina to moved to a room too before they all followed Sylva who moved Selena’s bed herself to the elevators and up to the VIP rooms of the hospital before in a few moments, Sabrina was moved in right next door.

And thankfully once Selena moved and was stabilized and all the results came back that her spine had not been damaged and she could sit up, they sat her up and took off the C- collar and made her comfortable before Sylva helped remove the breathing tube.

“Now, very little, slow sips of water.” Sylva urged as she disposed of the tube as Ravus handed her a little cup of water so Selena could drink some.

“Thank you.” Selena thanked him as she squeezed his other hand three times which brought a little wry grin to his lips as he squeezed back three times. This was going to be their new little thing.

“Tea.” Selena requested as she winced as the way the ice cold water assaulted her throat.

“On it.” Luna practically lept from her spot on a sofa and immediately went to the cafe on that level and got four cups of hot water and two of every kind of tea they had before she came back and listed them off before Selena chose one before Luna got that going for her before Tredd came in since Stella had been texting him updates ever since she had come in with Yasmine, Tredd still in his work uniform and not looking cleaned up at all, but he was clearly still anxious and worried even though he had gotten several texts from everyone about the update throughout the rest of his shift as he was so relieved and grateful that Selena made it through while Billy and Patrick were still downstairs in the ER getting attended to as he handed Selena her phone which had actually been ejected from the car itself upon impact but thanks to it's protective case, which had taken a beating, the phone was still functional.

"Thank you for saving my life." Selena thanked Tredd as the two hugged.

"Are you kidding, the shit Ravus would give me if you had died on my watch? He would harrass me and make me pay- eye for an eye and all that shit. You would haunt me yourself from beyond the grave, I have bad enough karma as it is, I don't need any more." Tredd tried to tease and play off as he wiped his relieved tears from his eyes but his happy and relieved smile still showed how deeply he still cared.

"But you're welcome." Tredd offered lowly.

"But don't you do it ever again, I don't have that much good luck to doll out to just anyone and everyone, you got L-U-C-K-Y, lucky girl." Tredd added as Selena just snorted a laugh because actually laughing would hurt too much as she gave him a grateful and appreciative smile before Luna came over with Selena's tea.

“Thank you.” Selena managed to whisper to Luna with a grateful smile once the tea was given her as she took a sip of it with her left hand since her right was still laying on her in a cast and a sling.

“So we have some updates.” Gladio came back into the room with his dad.

“William Ronchester, aka Billy, the former captain of Niflheim Academy's football team and one of his former teammates- Chad Frawns, who just graduated in May, were the drivers of the cars that smashed into you, they were racing each other and ran the red, we have them on the cameras from the intersection, going at least 80 in a 35.” Gladio reported.

“Fucking Nifs!” Nyx, Luche, Ada, Tredd, Crowe and Libertus all growled as Craig just shook his head and groaned in frustration.

“Of course they were, Chad and Billy were always doing stupid shit like that, it’s always a pissing contest between those two.” Craig offered up.

“So that’s two attempts on the Ulrics by the Niflheim football team, by the same people, by the same, exact fucking people, great.” Luna grumbled angrily as she and Nyx had flashbacks to when that football team was hired to have it out for him.

“But the important part is both of them lived through it. As long as Selena doesn’t get any complications from any of her surgeries, she should make a full recovery.” Sylva consoled.

“Well is it too early to start pressing charges?” Ravus asked as Gladio and Clarus grinned wryly.

“No it’s not.” Clarus answered before he got Selena’s statement to add it to Sabrina’s and once it was clear that Selena was going to be ok, Nyx went back and spent more time with his mom as Dorian had done the same as they hung out as Gladio and Clarus went back downstairs to check up on everyone involved in the wreck as the other officers were at the other hospitals where the other patients had been taken to and finished the rest of their jobs as well as inform Billy’s family as well as Chad’s family of who they hit as Clarus and Gladio saw the color drain from their family’s faces as their eyes go as wide as saucers.

Ravus was adamant that he wasn’t leaving Selena’s side as Luche simply went to Ravus’ office and packed what he could from Ravus’ office so that Ravus would have some of what he needed there before Luche left and he and Ada went to Ravus’ and Selena’s apartment to get what Selena and Ravus would need for staying in the hospital for at least a few weeks and simply got their dogs and brought them to their own yard. Sasha being all too happy to play with her siblings Kona and Kahlua while Bunny simply laid down forlornly.

“Mommy’s ok. I promise, she’ll be home soon.” Luche offered to Bunny as he pet her affectionately as Duchess simply took command of the tallest level of Luche and Ada’s cat tower as Luche pet Duchess affectionately in turn before Ada went through her own tea collection to get what she thought Selena would like and once they were ready they went back to the hospital just as Sylva had ordered dinner for everyone who was left as Selena very slowly ate the soft foods that the hospital prepared for her as Sylva made sure that her pain medication was always given on time so that she wasn’t in too much pain in any one time and was of course administered the best pain medicine available.

When it was late and after everyone but Nyx and Luna went home to rest and Ravus was getting ready for bed himself, Sylva made one last check up to see if Selena needed anything before Selena simply reached out and gave Sylva’s hand three squeezes sleepily but smiled sweetly nonetheless, despite her pain and exhaustion.

“Where did you learn that?” Sylva asked curiously.

“When I was in surgery, I think I was dreaming, or in a coma, or something. I was on a beach. I was in the picture that’s in our living room. Only, it wasn’t finished yet. I saw you playing with Ravus and Luna, only they were little. And..this artist, he looked like he was a cross between Ravus and Vincent, he was painting the picture, he asked me to sit and paint with him. He said that it was his favorite painting, that he had repainted it over and over and over again, trying to get it perfect, trying to make it look as real as a picture. He said it was his favorite memory because Luna and Ravus weren’t fighting and you were there and not being pulled in a thousand directions at once, and that you just got to enjoy the moment with your kids and being a mom. He said that you were an old soul from worrying about everything all the time. But that you were always his ray of sunshine. I think my imagination built Victor. He’s the one who held my hand and told me that pain was coming but that I could endure it. He held my hand and said that three taps and three squeezes meant ‘I love you’ and we just were squeezing it back and forth and then his voice morphed into yours in surgery.” Selena confessed as Sylva, Ravus and Luna were utterly sobbing.

“That’s nothing short of a miracle.” Lunafreya cried as she soaked up her renewed tears.

“I don’t think it was your imagination. I’m pretty sure you met him in the afterlife, he always told me that- that was one picture that he would give anything to redo and repaint over and over again because it was the perfect moment and he wanted it to last forever and he was sure that he could get it perfect eventually.” Sylva revealed as she sobbed before she held Selena.

“We’re so happy you lived and you made it through Darling.” Sylva cried into Selena’s shoulder.

“Ditto, I would have lost my mind if I lost my best friend.” Luna confessed as she hugged Selena next before Nyx came over and hugged her tight before they bid her goodnight and left Ravus and Selena in peace before saying goodnight to Sabrina and Dorian who were in the next room over.

Ravus waited until it was just himself and Selena before he slipped Selena’s rings back on her hands.

“They fell off in the accident. Tredd picked them up and saved them from the wreck.” Ravus told her.

“Only Stella and your mom could have seen the great man underneath the asshole, turns out he was exactly who was needed in that moment, I owe him big.” Selena noted as she looked at her rings affectionately.

“We both do.” Ravus had to admit. “He saved your life today, I never would have thought that he of all people would have been the life saving type.” Ravus admitted.

“But he was a natural wasn’t he? From what Gladio said he saw, Tredd knew exactly what to do and how to do it and do it in the nick of time. Another moment later and I would have been toast, literally. The car caught fire for crying out loud. For as much as Tredd is a pyromaniac, being a firefighter is strangely a perfect fit and he’s a natural.” Selena murmured tiredly, but fondly all the same.

“He told my mom that he wants to become a paramedic too after what happened today.” Ravus informed her.

“He’d be good at that too. Nyx isn’t the only one with a hero complex apparently.” Selena nodded as Ravus nodded his agreement to that too.

“There was something more to my “run in” with your dad though.” Selena said as Ravus sat on the bed next to hers.

“Oh?” Ravus asked.

“When he gave me my own canvas and invited me to paint with him, I looked at the scene of you and Luna and your mom on the beach to the canvas and began filling in where the sea met the sand and when I looked back up, I saw you with not one, or two, but three children, our children while I was pregnant with number four.” Selena revealed as Ravus’ tears came flooding back to his eyes as his smile was heartbreakingly beautiful.

“Really?” Ravus asked.

“Yup, two little girls, the oldest was five or six, the younger girl was only one and a half, maybe two, the middle, was a boy, he must have been only four or so. The girls were just as fair and blonde as you are and so precious and beautiful, the boy took after me and was quite handsome himself. You were all under a big umbrella so none of you would burn, you were all building a sandcastle, the oldest was doing most of the work, gathering all the sand into the various buckets, getting them wet then draining them before turning them over in the right spot, the boy was organizing seashells and the youngest was just squishing the sand between her chubby little hands. Your dad told me that he was grateful and thankful for me becoming a part of your family’s lives and that it wasn’t my time to leave yet and that he was proud, and happy and that- that moment, with you and our kids on the beach- that was going to be my ‘want to last forever’ moment. And that I could get there as long as I held onto life as hard as I could and warned me that the pain was coming, but that I could endure it. I just had to hold on and keep tapping three times, I love you, over and over and he held my hand and we did it back and forth as long as we could before things faded to black and his voice morphed into your mom’s in the surgery room.” Selena revealed as she held Ravus’ hand and squeezed it three times as he returned it over and over again as Ravus knelt down next to the bed with Selena’s left hand in both of his as he pressed his forehead to her hand and continued to cry and mentally offer thanks for the miracle as his faith in God began to flicker back to life.

“Then that’s what will happen. It’s worth waiting for.” Ravus insisted as he lifted his head and kissed her hand as firm as he dared.

“It will be.” Selena repeated as she was fighting sleep.

“Get some sleep, you need it Darling.” Ravus encouraged before Ravus to get into bed himself, reaching out and still grasping her left hand and giving it three little squeezes as she gave three little squeezes back before the two finally fell asleep.

[drethanramslay]

And ummm.... 77 and 80? For Ethan and mc. Please. Don't kill me 😔 i got it bad

Thanks for the ask @noboundariesplease 💜

#77-“If you want to leave, we can leave.”

#80- "Your comfort and happiness is more important to me than some stupid dinner"

You can find the prompt list here.

Taglist: @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @openheart12 @sekizincimektup @junggoku @ethandaddyramsey @edith-eggs1 @ethanramseysgirl @samihatuli @loveellamae @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @zeniamiii @binny1985 @an-urban-witch-ig @ramseyegerton @noboundariesplease @mrsdr-ethan-ramsey @newcolonies @mkamra2355 @unluckygs @choices-love-affair @kaavyaethanramsey  @caseyvalentineramsey @ohramsey @virtualrain202 @squishywizardhq  @junehiratas @nooruleman @itsgoingnuts

Warning: There is some fat shaming and this kinda hits home lmao😭

Also, long post 😔

👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠

Momzilla

Leah's hands were trembling as Ethan and her stood on the porch of lavish house. She hadn't met her mom in three years and she would have liked to keep it that way.

She disliked her mom and the list of reasons can go on and on.

Leah's mom had cheated on her father when she was 16. And it nearly broke him. There were days when her brother, Levi and her would stay up to make sure he didn't do something impulsive. Since that day, her father, Liam and her started bonding over their mutual dislike for the said character.

Her father, Ray, was hell of a tough guy. He was ex-marine who worked in a bodyguard company now. For a 50 plus guy, he was ripped and had such an intimidating glare that it gave Ethan a run for his money. But, he always had a soft corner for his mija. If he could, he would move mountains for her.

Same with Leah, they both were as close as best friends could be and he had always been an anchor for her. He was the best father she could have asked for. It had always been this way- her father, Liam and her. The dream team.

She wasn't going to meet her mom after the Thanksgiving disaster but a phone call from her dad, her heart melted and she grudgingly agreed.

"Are you okay sunshine?" Ethan asked as he looked at her pale face.

"Y-yeah. I'm great." She gulped and pressed the doorbell.

Footsteps rushed towards the door and a woman in her late forties opened the door.

"Leah!!" Her mother spoke.

"Uh...um, hi mom." She waved.

She hugged her and then held her at a shoulder's length scrutinizing her. Leah felt so exposed at that moment that she shifted uncomfortably from one feet to another.

"Mija... You have gained weight and you literally have wrinkles. Are you even using the cream I sent you?"

No because it's at the bottom of the bay. Leah thought as anger slowly filtered into her veins. She hated being told that she was too fat or that she was getting wrinkles or the fact that she had to cake herself with makeup.

I am beautiful the way I am thank you very much.

But it still stung that your own mother thought that you were ugly.

Seeing his sunshine's discomfort, Ethan smoothly cut in. "Hola Ms. Alejandro. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." He extended his hand and Leah's mother was starstruck.

He has that effect on EVERYONE he meets. That's not fair... Leah pouted mentally.

Blushing she took his hand and laughed. "My my Leah, you have a fine man. And call me Francesca, Ethan. Please come on in. Food is getting cold."

Leah fisted her hands and walked in but was stop shortly as Ethan's hands grabbed her wrist. "Sunshine I know how you feel about your mother and I can see how stressed you are right now. And don't listen to a single thing she is saying. You are damn gorgeous and I love you the way you are. If you want to leave, we can leave.”

"N-no it's fine. We will just stay for an hour and haul ass. Just promise me you will stop me from strangling her." She muttered as they walked down the gaudy hallway.

"Honey! Is Leah here?" Steve, her mother's husband asked as he came down the steps.

"Hey Steve! How's it going?" Leah asked as she gave him a side hug. He was tolerable.

As they sat down on the dining table, Steve started carving up the roasted chicken. Leah took a plate and served some herb rice, a side of mash potatoes and stir fry vegetables to Ethan. Ethan just smiled softly at the gesture and kissed her cheek in gratitude.

"You two are so cute." Leah's mom said as she poured red wine for everyone but Leah. Leah pasted a fake smile as she grabbed the bottle and filled her glass.

Francesca eyed her disapprovingly but Leah eyes glinted, daring her to say something.

And that's how the dinner went. Leah's mom passing snide remarks Leah's way and Leah just taking them with a fake smile. Steve was totally oblivious and telling some story about his gold mates. Ethan pretended that he actually understood what he was saying, but his hand was on Leah's thigh squeezing it to reassure that he was right there.

Within half an hour, Leah was done with this bullshit. She went to the bathroom to take a break from everything.

God I hate that witch so much...

Leah was just returning from the washroom when Ethan got up and made his way to her. "Sunshine, we need to go."

"Why what happened?"

"This is our chance to leave." Ethan lowly spoke as he handed her, her purse and coat and they headed for the door.

"Oh okay then. Let's get going. Bye mom. Bye Steve. Sorry we can't stay back for dessert. Emergency came up y'know? Saving lives and stuff. Bye!!"

Nope I'm not sorry at all.

"Bu-"

"Gracias Francesca. Have a great night." They both ran out of the house and headed to the street. As soon as they sat in the car they both burst into laughter.

"Damn Ethan that was the smoothest escape you have done so far." As she clicked on the seat belt.

"It's a growth from the time when we both went home the night of the hearing." He chuckled as he put the key in the ignition and turned the car on.

"Oh YAH! You were like-" scrunching her face up so that it looked grumpy and adopting a deep voice, she imitated Ethan "- Dr. Garcia and I are going to the hospital for paperwork and nothing else."

Ethan guffawed and soon Leah joined in. They headed to the ice cream parlor down the street and got some humongous servings of ice cream.

As they sat on a bench in the park, bullshitting back and forth, they slowly sunk into a comfortable silence, with Leah's head on his shoulder.

"Ethan?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for helping me escape... I- I can't deal with her. She-"

"Shh sunshine. I know. You don't need to explain me. I can sense your discomfort from miles away. Your comfort and happiness is more important to me than some stupid dinner anyways.”

Leah had a huge smile on her face as they sat there, basking in the Boston breeze, in a deserted park.

🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦

ALSO

I will be posting the 2nd chapter of 'Dead instinct' in a couple of hours so stay tuned in :))

[thatssonanii]

First Day

HAHN

Before the drama

Treasure sat at the table eating her breakfast Hanna made her. She kept her eyes on her plate trying to ignore the weirdly happy faces on the adults. Lainey stood behind her fixing her hair, Zion sitting to her left, Charles to her right and her other uncles, aunts and grandparents across from her.

"You excited for school, big girl?" Melissa asked smiling.

Treasure shrugged and smiled at her aunt. "Yes ma'am. Uncle Benny said its gonna make me smarter."

Melissa leaned her head on Benny's shoulder smiling.

"You worried about anyone bothering you?" Marcie asked.

"Nope. Uncle Eddie, Uncle Cam and Uncle Zion said that they're gonna shoot anyone who bothers me."

Hanna eyed her sons, who were avoiding her stare. "Now don't go to that school saying that, Treasure. I mean it."

"I know, Nana. PopPop said that's family business and dry snitching. And you don't tell on family unless they break the rules."

Caleb laughed, "At least we know she listens well."

"Chuck said if I don't wanna do it, I don't have to cause I'm the first daughter." Treasure giggled going back to her grits.

Lainey tapped her with the comb and leaned down to look at her daughter. "And what did Mommy say?'

"That if I have a red or yellow face I'm gettin my butt cut."

"That's right and you better remember that. Go brush your teeth and put your clothes on so we can go."

Nodding, Treasure scooted out of her chair and ran out of the kitchen up the stairs. Melissa and Marcie went behind her hurray in case she needed help and to check on the babies while Lainey went to grab her lunchbox and bookbag.

"You driving, Charles?" Lainey asked getting her thermos from the fridge to put in her lunchbox.

"Yeah. Your brothers and Caleb are gonna follow us." Charles told her drinking his coffee.

Lainey looked at her brothers and dad then shook her head. "No, y'all are not. For what?"

Caleb shrugged. "Cause that's my grandbaby."

Cameron smiled. "Just to make sure she gets there safe, sis."

"And meet her teacher," Zion added.

"Can't have just anybody teaching my niece," Benny laughed.

Eddie agreed with all of them then laughed, "And just so they know who they're dealing with if anything happens to our little princess."

Lainey closed her mouth. She knew whatever she said would fall on deaf ears. They were tagging along whether she liked it or not. The doorbell rang interrupting their conversation, Hanna got up to answer it. She gave a small smile when she opened it.

"Good morning, Mitch. You came just in time." She said letting him in. "Everyone's in the kitchen."

Mitch ran a hand through his hair as he passed through the living room to get to the kitchen. He'd rather not deal with Lainey's brothers and Charles but he would do anything for Treasure and Diego. He went to hug Lainey and kiss her cheek.

"Mornin'. Where's my big girl?" He asked with a smile.

"Good morning, Mitch. She's upstairs getting dressed. I didn't hear you speak to anyone else."

Mitch sighed and turned to the men. "Mornin, B, Caleb."

Benny kept his mouth closed as did Caleb, he wasn't stupid nor crazy. Rolling her eyes, Lainey pinched the back of his neck making him yelp an reach back to rub his neck.

"The hell?"

"If you're gonna be rude and disrespectful then you can leave, Mitchell. We're here for Treasure and nothing more. This is a big day for her and you're not gonna ruin it. Understand?"

Mitch held his hands up, "You got it, Ms. Parker."

Charles chuckled, "Mrs. Frederickson. That's a married woman you're talking to, Mitch. But you already knew that."

"You better stop playing with that man," Cameron joked.

Just as Mitch opened his mouth to say something smart, Treasure came running into kitchen and posed.

"I'm ready for Prek!"

"Aah, look at you, Mama. You look so beautiful," Eddie complimented with a wide smile.

Everybody laughed hearing Eddie be so nice and warm. It wasn't something he did often, only of Treasure or one of his nephews were concerned.

Mitch squatted and held his arms open, "There's Daddy's big girl."

Treasure ran into his arms hugging him tight. "Daddy, you came!"

Mitch kissed her head then let her go, "Of course. I told you I'd be here."

Zion scoffed loudly and mumbled under his breath.

Marcie came onto the kitchen quickly with lip gloss in her hands then kneeled down to Treasure's level. The men frowned.

"Marcie, what's that?" Cameron asked frowning.

Marcie showed her how to rub her lips together and pop them before answering. "It's lip gloss, Cam. She can't go to school edith dry lips. She can't be all crusty."

Benny sucked his teeth, "Vaseline woulda been aight."

Marcie laughed then handed the lip gloss to Lainey to put in Treasure's bookbag. She gave get niece a hug before going bad book upstairs. Standing up, Charles checked his watch and whistled.

"Time to go, Sunshine. Don't wanna be late."

"Kay," Treasure chirped going to Lainey so she could put her bookbag on, "Ready, Mommy?"

"I'm ready, Doll. Give Nana a kiss so we can all go."

Lainey and Treasure walked in front of the men into the classroom. Treasure was amazed at how big it was and seeing the other kids. The only kids she had really been around were her brother and cousins but they're babies and the few times she sent to the park. She walked around the classroom holding the straps her bookbag. When they approached the teacher, Lainey and Treasure both smiled not knowing the men stood behind them with frowns on their faces.

"Good morning! You must be Treasure," the teacher said excitedly.

"Yes ma'am," Treasure said rocking back and forth on her heels, "Treasure Malone. What's your name?"

"I'm Mrs. Honey." She said smiling.

Treasure giggled, "Honey? Like from bees?"

"Yes ma'am, like bees." She laughed turning her attention to Lainey. "You must be Mama? Or should I call you First Lady? Nice to meet you."

Lainey smiled, "Yeah, I'm mom. You can just call me Lainey."

Ms. Honey smiled them looked behind her briefly. "And behind you are uncles and dad?"

Lainey nodded turning to look behind her for a second.

"Her uncles, her dad, her stepdad and her Poppop."

"My aunties and Nana stayed home with my brother and cousins. They're babies, they're boring," Treasure told her holding a straight face.

The adults laughed and Lainey grabbed her hand. "Right so, you have all my contact information as well as theirs. I put them in order for you to call it the number above it is not answered please go in that order specifically. She has her own lunch and snack in her lunchbox. She's a bit of a chatterbox and she's allergic to bees and and fish."

Ms. Honey nodded taking everything in. "I gotcha. If you would like you could take her to hang her bookbag and lunchbox then she's welcome to play with the other kids."

Treasure pulled Lainey towards the cubbies. Caleb waited until they were by the cubbies to speak.

"Mrs. Honey, I'm Caleb, her PopPop. Nice to meet you. That there is my baby, our baby. I'm sure that she'll be safe in your care but just in case something happens know that I'm coming to you first. Clear?'

Mrs. Honey nodded slowly.

"Goldie means a lot to us and you now," Zion told her folding his arms, "That being said I don't want any of these kids putting their hands on her."

"Cause if somebody makes her cry or hurts her then them and their parents are gonna have to see me." Benny told her with a smile.

Eddie adjusted the gun on his hip. "I don't think I have to elaborate on how much your life depends on her safety, I feel like you get the point."

"And by chance you don't, we'll be happy to explain it, in great detail," Cameron added.

Charles stepped up as well as Mitch. Charles pointed to the man beside him. "He is her father, I am her step father. Him and I both can make you disappear. Completely."

Mitch smirked, "Wipe you clean from existence."

"So," Caleb said softly getting her attention, "If she so much as gets a hang nail one of our phones better ring. And we're the nice ones, just wait till you meet her Nana."

Mrs. Honey stared at the men unsure of what to say. She had dealt with protective parents but nothing ever like this. This was different. She knew these weren't just empty threats.

Treasure cane running back over to them with Lainey behind her. Ms. Honey watched them go from frowning to smiling. The little girl hugged each of them.

"Who's coming to pick me up?" She asked loudly.

"Who do you want to pick you up, Mama?" Eddie asked sweetly.

"Ummmm," she hummed tapping her chin, "Uncle Cam! He said I get ice cream if I'm good."

Lainey laughed giving her one more hug, "Alright, big girl, we're gonna go. Have a good day, be nice and have fun. Mommy will see you later."

As they left each male made sure to make eye contact with Mrs. Honey. They weren't taking any chances on Treasure. Lainey was sure they had threatened Treasure's teacher but again, she didn't bother to say anything to them, she knew how and when to pick her battles.

[rosesandthorns44]

Modern humans' need to connect everything to the internet will never make sense to me.

Like, you do you. I'm not here to tell anyone how to live their lives. I just don't get it. You're like, actively letting Big Brother invade every aspect of your life...

(obviously I'm happy that technology can help disabled people live their lives with a little more ease! Use your assistive tech!)

I've got a computer. I've got a phone. The rest of my stuff is analog.

This is going to make me sound pretentious as fuck. I swear I'm not. I'm just a nerd who likes old things.

I don't need to be able to receive texts on my watch. My trusty Swatch serves me just fine. I proudly bought it with my first paycheck from my job!

My mom's Echo Dot freaks me out and I unplug it at every opportunity when she's not actively using it to play music. She got it so she can listen to music in her studio while her hands are covered in clay. Makes sense. Still creepy when it talks because it thinks we asked it something when we didn't.

My sewing machine is 117 years old. It doesn't even use electricity. I'm a sewing nerd and it's my baby. Her name is Edith. Modern sewing machines with touch screens and all sorts of stitch settings are confusing and if something breaks I can't fix it myself.

I have multiple typewriters because *click clack* make brain happy. Also, I'm sure as fuck never typing up my journals where the internet can find them!

[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 8

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): I could not wait to post this. I know it’s only Wednesday but I couldn’t wait and I had to. I’m sorry... I’m sure the next chapter will bring us back to the regular schedule. This chapter is really weird, at least in my opinion (but it might just be that I read it again and again a million times over), but I’m really happy with it and... also not really. Some people in this chapter need to... I don’t want to say anything. It would only make things worse if I say anything.

Thanks to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for the original suggestion, to @whatwashernameagain for all her help and for being a sweet lil angel of a person, and to my little elves, @anony-phangirl, @asleepybisexual and @winglessnymph for dealing with my bullshit. A special one goes to Nicky this time, for being an adorable bean and reading this chapter ahead of time to help me figure things out. I am so grateful that I have this lovely group of people to help me and I can’t thank them enough.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @secretlyanxiouspersona, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @why-things-go-boom, @ilovemyspoopydad, @violetblossem, @prinxiety-an-chocolate

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). Especially in this chapter, and not necessarily period-appropriate, but... you have been warned.

—————

Wednesday, November 27th, 2002

Remy finally understood the point of existentialism and, more specifically, of the saying "Hell is other people".

He couldn't even take comfort in knowing how close India was. She didn't leave Boston for the holiday, and she wouldn't have anyway. Her family in North Carolina were horrible people and she told him that she hadn't seen any of them since she came to Harvard.

That meant that, for the next few days, he was stuck in Social Circle, Georgia. All alone. With no escape plan.

"Sarah, look, Remy's here!"

...and Leah.

She came down the road on her rollerblades, looking entirely too proud of herself, and their cousin Sarah on her trail. Sarah wasn't particularly bad, but Remy wasn't entirely comfortable around—

"A little bird told me you were going to be away this year."

"Gurl, you don't even want to know what happened."

"No I don't. I'm just glad you're here, Becca."

Becca. A cursed name. Yeah, maybe that's going a bit overboard, but… Remy wasn't called Becca since… well, Christmas of last year. But it's been a long time!

"I can rollerblade, right Remy?" Leah was holding onto his leg, almost dragging him down, and started taking her rollerblades off. "You saw me do it!"

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want Mom to see…"

"But you'll freeze!"

"But she won't be mad at me!"

"Becca, would you like to hear the holiday forecast?" Sarah tapped Remy on the shoulder as she said that. He didn't really, but… "Sunny. Way too sunny. With high chance of showers and a possible thunderstorm."

(Translated, it meant there will be fights. A lot of fights. And Remy was ready to deal with them, but… it didn't mean he wanted to hear it.)

"Wow, thanks for all the help, Sarah."

"No need to be rude, I'm just trying to prepare you. Everyone is coming. And some of us aren't as accepting of your ‘identity' as others."

That was incredibly true. Sadly. It took Linda no time at all to let everyone know that her daughter believes that she's a boy, and it took his grandmother no time to tell him that when she was younger, she had a very good friend who was born a boy, but lived as her true feminine self, and that she misses that friend so much because "there was no kinder or sweeter woman you'd ever meet, too bad we had to lose her to that wretched AIDS. We didn't have no cocktails or whatever back then, not like today. She died something like three years after you were born. You would've loved Celia."

It was going to be an insufferable holiday.

"Sarah, you're barely two years older than me. You don't—"

"I'm not mothering you. I'm just pointing out the facts."

Leah let go of Remy's leg, and instead grabbed onto his arm, the rollerblades in one hand. She was barefoot, she was cold, and he just wanted to hold her tight so she wouldn't freeze too much.

He was falling hard and fast for the sister he didn't want to meet a couple weeks ago, and he was struggling to understand what exactly happened.

"Sarah has a boyfriend now," Leah said happily as she led Remy (and his bag) to the house. "He's not very nice." She threw her rollerblades into a small shed near the door and quickly closed it.

"I'll bet."

"It's why she's being a bitch. I think. I don't know."

"It's how she's always been. Don't feel bad."

Leah decided to give him a house tour, and explained that nobody was there yet because everyone will come tomorrow and Stephen had a thing to do in Atlanta and Rachel had a play date. And Linda's house was… well, a house.

Remy was so used to the small and outrageously expensive apartment on West 106th, with the bad lighting and the closet-sized bedrooms, that the house seemed huge to him. The living room alone was - mismatched furniture aside - incredibly impressive. The floor-to-ceiling windows let in so much natural light that reflected off the shiny hardwood floors, the cream-colored walls and the needlessly large flat-screen TV, that Remy doubted they even needed the huge fucking chandelier (okay, maybe he was exaggerating a bit) that hung in the middle of the room. The walls were covered in crayon doodles and bright purple marks where the girls' heights were measured, and a few dark scratches. Obvious evidence that a certain scooter kept running into them.

Two black suede couches faced the brick fireplace (a fucking fireplace? Utterly pointless, much like a lot of things in this room), with dark blue and gray throwing pillows placed strategically on them. It looked incredibly comfortable. Between the couches and the fireplace was a small glass coffee table, "adorned" with misplaced toys and children's art supplies. A beautiful, blue-green glass vase full of white daffodils was right in the middle of the table. Leah proudly told him that she picked them herself.

Wooden bookcases covered the wall next to the entrance, and two light gray, plush armchairs, with the same dark blue and gray pillows, faced them. Remy was very familiar with those armchairs. They used to belong to his grandparents. He used to torture those chairs with Sarah when they were younger, draw on them with markers and put stickers all over the armrests. How his grandmother managed to remove the stickers was beyond him, but he knew for a fact that she put them through very intensive cleaning after every visit.

Two years ago they disappeared from their house in Red Bank, New Jersey. And nobody could explain to him why.

In the corner of the room, next to the bookcases, sat a sleek Steinway that Remy knew very well. It belonged to his grandfather. He wasn't even aware that it, too, made its way from New Jersey to Georgia.

(Nobody told Remy anything anymore, as it turned out. At least he could take comfort in knowing that Roger's piano was being put to good use.)

And that was just the living room. Remy didn't even want to think about the hallway.

"We moved here from Atlanta when I started going to school and my grandma and grandpa wanted me to go to where Dad went to school," Leah started rambling. "And I miss Atlanta. There's a lot more to do there, there's a lot more fun stuff to—"

"I know." The offended look on her face went away when Remy put his hand in her hair, to calm her down. "I live two blocks away from Broadway, I just need to take the subway and I'll be at Times Square, but I can't. I don't have the money for it and I don't want to take money from my dad."

"Isn't that annoying?"

"Leah, you're seven. Stop complaining about that kind of stuff," Sarah chided as she pushed past them, a glass of water in her hand, and went to sit down. "Just wait until you're in college."

"You mean, the place where everything is close by and rather affordable thanks to student discounts and the option of working on campus?"

"You're only a senior in high school, what do you know—"

"I go to Harvard, Sarah. It's been a couple months already."

"Oh… yeah. I'm sure you're doing great."

Yeah. Maybe this holiday he'll just stick to Leah.

——

"If there is a thing you should know about your mother," Edith Brigham told her grandchild in late 1992, "it's that she is too headstrong for her own good. It doesn't matter how much you try to change her mind, she'll never listen."

This was the reason Remy kept talking to his grandmother after the divorce. Why he kept visiting Edith and Roger after Linda left.

"Where's grandma and Roger?"

"They won't be coming this holiday, Rebecca. They're in Thailand."

Remy was absolutely not ready for this thanksgiving.

Stephen started a conversation with him about college while Linda was finishing things up in the kitchen that Wednesday. He asked him about his boyfriend, Remy did his best to avoid those particular questions ("is Ian playing any sports?" "She told me she was a cheerleader in high school, she wasn't allowed to do color guard"; Stephen choked on his beer when Remy said that), and things just seemed…

Overall, things seemed strangely calm.

Remy missed Edith and Roger.

"Who's she?" Linda asked from the kitchen.

"Never heard of her."

"Rebecca, please be serious."

"Remember when you met my best friend and she told you her name is Ian?" Linda made a choking sound. "Remember grandma's friend Celia?"

"That— you never even met her. You were too young. You don't even remember her. You are not the same as grandma's friend."

"I'm sure my best friend would love to hear that."

"So he's… he…"

"You can call her a she, you know."

"Grandma doesn't have a friend called Celia," Leah piped in from the corner, where she was sitting at the piano, trying to motivate herself to play it. Little Rachel was pressing all the keys, irritating Leah quite a bit.

"She died of a really bad disease before you were born," Linda said sharply. Something in her changed when talking to Leah.

"She was very nice," Remy added, trying to be softer than Linda. "Grandma says that she was a painter, and she spent a lot of time reading books, and that there was nobody sweeter than her. She died of AIDS."

"What's that?"

"Don't you—"

"Acquired immune deficiency syndrome." Leah hummed to herself as Remy said that. He could feel Linda glare at him. "You get it from contaminated blood or unsafe sex, and your immune system just doesn't work. I don't know a lot about it, so you should probably read about it—"

"Rebecca, she's seven years old!"

"She's a seven year old who knows that female hyenas have penises, Linda! She's old enough to know about AIDS."

"...you sound just like your grandmother."

"Thanks, I try to."

Leah just hummed again in understanding and left the piano in order to go painting. Rachel's key-pressing was getting too annoying for her. She said her hearing can't take it anymore.

Remy believed her.

"You can't just explain STDs to my child, Rebecca," Stephen hissed at him through gritted teeth, suddenly looking rather threatening.

"One of my professors said that if you can't explain it to a child, you don't truly understand it yourself."

"That's no excuse to—"

"Mom I have a headache can you tell Rachel to go away?"

"Deal with it. Rachel, sweetie, come here."

"Deal with it?" Linda just… shrugged. "Leah, come here, love. And bring my bag with you."

So she did. Remy took an ibuprofen pill out of the bag and gave it to her. And Linda...

"You're drugging up my kid?"

"She told you she has a headache. I'm having cramps right now, so I have painkillers on me. Shocker? To you, probably. You're the one who taught me that the cramps are just another sign that my body so terribly wants to have children, and—"

"Spit that out, Leah. You don't need anything."

And with that, Remy gave up on trying to talk to Linda. (Leah did not spit out the pill.)

——

Sunday, December 1st, 2002

The rest of the holiday was just as awful. Leah got overwhelmed by everything, Remy kept fighting with his aunts, and the alcohol didn't help in the least. Everyone felt Edith and Roger's absence and it only made things that much worse.

He should've stayed in Boston.

When he called India after getting off the plane, she told him to take comfort in the fact that Christmas is only three weeks away. And, yeah, she was right. But it didn't make things any better…

For now, he decided, he should focus on other things. Midterms were starting very soon. Next Tuesday was Emile's birthday. His dad started working on a new production—

There was a knock on the door.

"I heard you had a horrible holiday," an adorable, heavily-accented, quiet voice said once Remy opened the door. He could hear the smile in it. "Nothing cuddles and cookies can't solve, right?"

Thin, pale hands pulled Remy in for a hug, and finally. Remy came home.

——

"Umm… Emile, babe, you're crushing my lungs."

"Oh, oops. Sorry."

"Want to watch Nightmare Before Christmas and do absolutely nothing else?"

"Sounds lovely. Let's do it."

[erijonarexhepis-blog]

CALL IT MOTHER’S INTUITION

SEASON THREE, EPISODE SEVEN ////// PART ONE

Part two, Part three

Masterlist

"They couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. Finally, they tested my blood and realized I had been poisoned with antifreeze."

"What would you like to say to those who did this to you?"

"I've searched my soul, but there's no understanding any of this. What kind of children try to kill their own mother?"

"That whole interview was an Oscar performance," Nelson speaks up— and Annalise turns the tv off.

"Mr. Duvall," the professor scolds him.

"She's probably not even sick." Nelson turns to his brother. "Jared, back me up on this."

"She's not a nice lady."

"We don't care," Annalise says. "Listen, from here on out, the only feelings you have for your mother are love and devotion."

"The prosecution has forced us into holding depositions before the trial. Their excuse is that Edith can die at any time, so it would be in our best interest to get the case thrown out pre-trial— not an easy task considering the evidence."

"Is it true that you and your siblings exchanged messages about killing your mother?" Michaela asks Nelson.

"We were joking."

"So you're claiming the text," Michaela looks at the document, "—let's cut her head off and boil it in the slow cooker with the chili," she looks up, "—was a joke?"

"If you knew how much mom loves chili, you'd get why that's funny."

"Edith will be present at all the depositions. This is a ploy by the prosecution to trigger our clients into saying something stupid on camera, quite possible considering who we're dealing with."

"So you guys had family dinner at the restaurant once a week. Is that right?" April asks Jared.

"If we didn't show, even just once, we'd be removed from the will."

"Now, Jared, that's an example of a question you might want to just answer with a yes or no. I'm telling you this so you'll understand the full weight of each and every one of your responses."

Jared nods slightly. "Yeah, I understand. Yes, we had family dinner at the restaurant once a week."

"Great."

"I do want to warn each of you that mom is a genius manipulator. Show any weakness in front of her, and she'll use it to her advantage."

"The key to beating this is to make sure the siblings present a united front."

"Is it possible one of your brothers did this?" Laurel asks Karen.

"No. Nelson and Jared both love our mother dearly."

"And you?"

"Of course."

"Really? Even though her pet name for you was Big Kahunas Karen?"

"They need to speak in detail about their affection for their mother."

"I had matured quite early, but she wouldn't let me wear a bra," Karen explains. "Instead, she just came up with the nickname."

"Half Nelson, because she said it fit my below-average IQ."

"Jerky Jared, 'cause she caught me masturbating once."

"This is a woman who read my diary in front of all the employees at a staff meeting," Karen states.

"If she smells blood, she goes in for the kill."

"So, you did want her dead?" Michaela asks Nelson.

"You tell me who did it, and I'll buy him a drink."

"Any of you get some major Keating vibes in there?" Simon asks the other students.

"What are you talking about?" Connor asks.

"A controlling, sadistic power-monger who lies to her kids' faces— verbally abusive."

"Did you just admit you want to poison professor Keating?" April asks.

"What? No!"

Laurel steps forward. "That's what I heard you say."

Wes and Asher side with them. "Me too."

"Me three."

"What a train wreck," Annalise says, walking up to the students. "Whenever you mention the word mommy, they turn into sniveling ingrates. Would be malpractice to put them in front of the camera."

"So what? We file a motion to postpone?" Simon asks.

April shakes her head at his question and answers before Annalise gets the chance. "We find a new suspect, and they'll cancel the depositions completely."

"That's right," Annalise says. "Look into any disgruntled restaurant employee first." She turns away, the students not far behind.

"Wait," Asher speaks out. "If there's no deposition, then there can be no first chair."

"What? You need a prize in order to do your job?"

"We just started studying for midterms, is all."

"All right." Annalise stops and turns to her students. "Whoever brings me a good suspect gets an automatic A on my midterm. Everyone happy?" She walks away.

///

"How’s Frank?" Connor asks Laurel, who just entered the room.

"What?"

"That's where you snuck off to, right?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"You do look a little flush," April states.

"Tell me, does the beard tickle down there?" April and Michaela turn their attention to Asher, silently judging him for asking that. "I'm asking for a friend."

"Did we find a suspect yet?" Wes asks. "The, uh... busboy did not pan out." He glances between the rest of the Keating 6. "What?"

"They think I was just with Frank," Laurel tells him.

"Maybe you were both with him," Connor states.

"Oh, two beards, one girl," Asher adds. "That's hot."

"Actually, it's one beard and one girl," April tells Asher.

"Uh, Frank and I didn't—"

"Did I mention Frank?" April interrupts Laurel— whose expression falters when she realizes that April knows— of course, she does.

"Okay, you know what? Let's not talk about it."

"Michaela, April," Oliver calls out to them from his desk.

"Tell me my waitress is a known black widow," Michaela says as she and April approach Oliver's desk.

"Oh, let my waiter be Graham Frederick Young," April adds.

Oliver looks up at them for a moment. "Uh, no. She moved to Maine six months before the poisoning." He turns to April. "Yours was out of town at the time of the poisoning."

"Are you sure?" April asks.

"He had an alibi. I wanted to show you guys something. Look what Thomas sent me." Oliver shows them his phone screen.

"Hm, I thought I was gonna get to see his penis," Michaela states.

"Uh, no!" Oliver takes his phone back. "Thomas isn't like that. We were talking about how we hate it when guys send flowers, so this is him being ironic. It's cute."

"I thought this was a one-off," April admits. "But it looks like you're falling for this guy."

"You totally are," Michaela adds.

"It's not that serious," Oliver states. Michaela and April share a look before they both grin at him— not believing his lie. "It's not, guys."

"You're a terrible liar," Michaela says as they tease him.

"No," Oliver laughs. "You two are the ones who are serious."

"He's in denial," April states before she and Michaela make their way back to their desk.

"Booya!" Asher jumps up from his seat, startling most of the students. "You smell that, people?! That's the stank of an automatic A-A-A-A! Yeah, Ollie hacked Produce Guy's email. Guess what he sent someone a link to just three weeks before Edith was poisoned. It's an article about antifreeze." He lays the paper down on the table.

"April," Laurel catches up to her. "Can we talk?"

"Is this about you and Wes?"

"How did you know?"

"They don't call me a genius for no reason. Plus, you were very obvious."

"You can't tell anyone."

"I don't care who you have sex with, Laurel."

"So, you won't tell anyone?"

April shakes her head. "No. I won't."

"Okay," Laurel nods slightly. "Thanks."

///

"Hey," April answers her phone. "What’s up?"

"They are reopening the case, April," Anthony says.

April frowns. "What case?"

"They're looking into Christine and Walter's murder."

"... We will figure this out. I'm going to get you out of this, Tony. Don't worry. I'll call you tomorrow."

[xiaosashae-ffxiv]

First Failure

D: Hey Kinmont... holding up alright?

K: Yeah dad... I'll be fine eventually.

D: Your mother meant a lot to many people. It meant a lot to have you play the piano. She would've loved to hear it. She likely wa-

K: Please stop, dad. We don't have to bring it up.

D: ...'It' up? Your mother is a thing now... good to know.

K: Corpses are things. Sarcasm isn't your forte. Don't try it now.

D: This is About YOUR MOTHER!

K: ...

D: ... This is about my wife. This is about someone who is not some corpse. Her body is, but she is not.

K: You're not making sense.

D: I am. I am if you would listen. Everything Edith ever did is a part of us. When you live with someone for so long, they become a part of you. More than that is her essence. It's-

K: With us? Among the stars you love so dearly?

D: I'm warning yo-

K: Warn me of what? Why? How? Let me guess, those dumb cards of yours.

D: You're not to bring that up like this.

K: Then maybe you should work on something useful. Take Ishgardian Astrologian's ideas and learn to predict something useful! Stop trying to risk your lives when you can use divination to Stop Problems in the First place!

D: And drop all the knowledge of our people? I will not be the first failure in our lineage.

K: You already are because you failed to protect My Mo-.

D: ...You don't mean that.

K: ...

D: ...Kinmont I need you to talk to me.

K: ...I'm sorry dad, I-

D: I know. I know... It's okay. I just... wish you were closer.

K: I won't be... Not for a long time. I know you and mom wanted to teach me a lot, but I've found my own way. I can help others and give back to people where I am. I'm making a difference without being shunned for it.

D: I can respect that, but you have a gift. You may not know it yet, but you do. It's a part of you. Just like your parents.

K: Well.. we'll see what happens in the future.

[hellothere-generalangsty]

ALRIGHT LET'S DO THIS

Thank you again for tagging me! 🌊

Friends on the Other Side - Annapantsu

WOW HER VOICE IS AMAZING

I agree she does get into the character soooo well!! Love the way she pushes her voice it's incredible! Love love love LOVE IT + the lovie is awesome too so that mzke it double, big YES for me!

Slipping Through My Fingers - ABBA

Hoooo I don't know much of ABBA (apart from the very famous ones you know) but this one I like a lot! They have a nice musical signature, I love the way their voices work with the instruments!

It's a good kind of sad, the one I would go back to!

Songs of Storms - Celestial Alignment

Sooooo soothing and chill, really like it! Overall video games' songs are usually very nice to listen to, they always get these Chill Vibes that get you hooked for hours; and this one is no different!

Also... 👏 I see what you did here, I feel like you're proud of yourself (as you should coz that was funny xD)

I'm actually listening to the 40 minutes video while writing this review and it's sooo pleasing omg also fun fact I've only played one Gale of Zelda and it was on my DS and it was Phantom something (of the Hourglass) and I loved this game sooo much I still have it

Lay All Your Love On Me - Cast Of Mamma Mia The Movie

OMG THOSE VOCALS

I LOVE IT THAT'S AWESOME

The rhythm is soooo cool omg it's so catchy and the 70s Vibes?? I'M HERE FOR IT

1 step forward, 3 step back [clean] - Olivia Rodrigo

I LOVE YOU FOR RECOMMENDING HER TO ME LIKE WATCH ME LISTEN TO THIS ON REPEAT

Also I am low-key in love with this woman as a whole; she's so pretty and her voice is so beautiful and the cover is beautiful and THAT CHORUS

Moony. Soft Moony. Words cannot express how grateful I am for these recommendations.

Thriller - Michael Jackson

OF COURSE THRILLER

OF COURSE

Fun story about me and this song; when I was younger my mom would let me watch it on the computer while my lil sis was sleeping because she was too young to watch the clip you know, and so everytime I would put that song on YouTube and dance along on the chair

Here's a childhood anecdote from your local Frenchie~

And like. I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID

I was a MJ addict when I was a kid no joke 😂

Castaways - The Backyardigans

Alright, so I have never heard about this before (hello there I'm the only one my age who doesn't have a TikTok yes yes) but it's like??? So cute and funny??

And now I wish we were irl friends just so I could see you dance along this (and probably join too 😂) omg that's so cute I'll forever think about you when listening to it now

Burying the dead ~ star wars lofi - Closed on Sunday

NO. NONONONO. LOOK. I FELL ALSEEP LAST NIGHT AND WHEN I WOKE UP AT 4AM MY PLAYLIST WAS STILL ROLLING

AND "burying the dead" STARTED PLAYING AND I DIDN'T RECOGNISE IT AT FIRST, UNTIL I SAW THE COVER

AND LET ME TELL YOU I LEGIT SHED A TEAR BECAUSE OF THE MEMORIES

omg the only reason I'm listening to it is because you recommended it. But why making me suffer 😭

(Although the lightsaber thingie is still very cool)

Me getting chills right now

This is sad;; I am sad now

And the art cover is... I'M LOOKING AWAY IT'S TOO MUCH PAIN

La vie en rose (single version) - Louis Armstrong

I KNOW THIS SONG I LOVE IT!!

I gotta say, I love the way American people are sooo captivated by Edith Piaf (and French things in general)

And I don't have anything else to add on this one because you summed it up so well, Louis Armstrong has such a strong and powerful voice, yet it's also soft; and the way he plays the saxophone... Pure magic

I love that song, really

I Lived - OneRepublic

I really like it! I don't listen that much to OneRep but for the ones I do listen to, they always give of nice vibes; so this one is going (well, already is) in my playlist!

Love the chorus, it's so catchy and Summer Vibes™!

I know about Counting Stars yes, really cool song too!

I recommend Run, I've listened to it on tv last time and it got stuck in my head (in a good way. This is a good song)

prom dress - mxmtoon

I love the cover for this one, it's so cute!

And her voice is really soft, I love it

You know what? I get New Girl Vibes off of this one, like I can perfectly picture Jess doing smth a bit embarassing yet cute and like Nick trying to be embarassing too so she doesn't feel bad

Very cute mood around this song, I really like it!

Omg yes there's Olivia playing rn I'm happy

Get You The Moon - Kina

Hooo I like the beginning

Soft guitar (you can hear the fingers slips against the strings, which is like...my favorite sound when I listen to/play the guitar)

I LOVE IT OMG MOONY THAT'S

Hhhh no words to describe what I feel about this song, I just. Vibe with it.

Voulez-Vous - ABBA

I LOVD THE TITLE yes it's because it's in French; did I tell you I'm a sucker for foreigner using/speaking French? Yeah well, now you know

AND IT'S SO CATCHY OMG I GET WHY YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH

Watch me sing along the French part and listen to it AGAIN just because I can.

Alright, I'm done here! That was SO FUN omg I love doing that

My playlist is filled with Nice Good Recommendations™ it's awesome 😂🥰

Lemme tell you... In this house, we love strange and weird because it's cool

And you're cool too

Now I should really reblog this and go answer to your message right 😂 thank u again for the tag I'm really like

Yeah happy and glad and all

You know what? They say using your mothertongue when speaking is easier when you feel strong emotions because it's instinctive so let me tell you

C'est merveilleux, et je suis absolument REMPLIE DE JOIE mon cœur fait boom boom dans ma poitrine 💙

(Which basically means: me happy, heart goes boom boom) 😂😂

IT’S MUSIC TIME MY GOONIES PT. 2

alrighty, it’s time again for me to share some more of my music tastes! really glad you guys like the first one, so i decided to do it again! once again, tagging the lovely @loth-wolffe & @weirdcharacter because they loved what i did the first time, so ya’ll can have a second one lol 😂

also, i’m putting my playlist on shuffle again, so i’m just putting the songs that come on as i go (also, sorry if i do any repeats, i’m trying to remember them all but if i repeat, you can just have another little paragraph about it again 🤣 hehe also, might have skipped around just a little bit, but for the most part this is just what came on lol 😂)

OKAY, OKAY!! HEAR ME OUT!! IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A SONG SANG BY A STRONG FEMALE IN THE ROLE OF THE VILLAIN, THEN ANNAPANTSU IS THE PERSON FOR YOU!! i love this song, i feel so powerful whenever i listen to it. also the movie it’s from is awesome! cover art is spooky, but i love the purple. solid 8/10 on the cover art! also, Anna’s voice is so good! she’s really good and it flows really well with the music! she also has a cover of “prince ali” and at the end she goes so high omg 😆 anyways, at the end of this song, she gets so awesome omg!! she plays the character really well, overall would recommend this song if you wanna feel like a powerful voodoo villain lol 😂

ow, of course a sad ABBA song had to come on right after. so, i love this. also reminds me of Omega now because of all the artwork of seen of it with “slipping through my fingers” in the tags (also in some fics I’ve seen it). It’s ABBA, so ya know, it’s already gonna be good. this is sad, but it still has a good beat, and it’s not slow. the piano is very nice. the duet in the middle of the song is very nice. cover art is confusing?? like idk what is supposed to be happening in it lol 😂, so um 6.5/10 cuz i have no idea what’s going on in it. OMG AND THERE IS HARMONIZATION AT THE END, IT IS SO PRETTY, MAKES THE SAD EVEN MORE PROMINENT!! oh the band at the end is very good! the electric guitar is really good, gets you in the feels. overall, recommend when your in the mood for some sadder 70’s music.

okay, obviously had to have some Zelda beats in here. fun fact: I’ve never played ocarina of time, but this is actually my favorite zelda song of all time. listening to it slowed is even better. it’s like a whole experience in itself. this song is just okay, it doesn’t come up on my playlist very often, but when it does, it’ s chill. beat is good, and the cover art is a solid 7/10 cuz the clouds are very nice. also like how their blue and gray, very cool. love any zelda song, so this song is nice when you want some background noise while working, and it’s just very chill. recommend when you wanna think about the hero clad in green with the blade of evil’s bane. the slowed version is so good, so i’ll link it down below!

Zelda - Song of Storm [slowed + reverb + rain] - Chuckster (love his remixes, he actually slowed the entire soundtrack from Twilight Princess, so recommend checking that out as well!

i slowed down zelda music and cried - Chuckster (okay i didn’t mention this, but this video is just 40 minutes straight of slowed Zelda music, and THE NOSTALGIA I RECEIVE IS INCREDIBLE. RECOMMEND 10000000000% this is also good background music when working!)

Z e l d a w a v e - Marble Pawns (OKAY I’M SORRY, I DIDN’T MENTION THIS ONE EITHER, BUT THIS ONE IS REALLY AWESOME!! REMIXES ARE SO NICE THE SONG OF STORMS ONE IS REALLY WACKY BUT SO COOL!!! OKAY, I’LL STOP LINKING ZELDA MUSIC LOL 😂 did you see what i did there?? i’ll stop “linking” zelda music???)

HAHA YESSSS!!! I SCREAM EVERY TIME THIS SONG COMES ON IT IS SO GOOD!!! OMG THE BEAT IS INCREDIBLE!!! this time, it’s actually from the movie because i like that version better, and the dudes singing in the background are so good! there’s actually this version on YouTube that every time it gets to the chorus it slows down and gets deeper (linking it below)!! lyrics are so good!! i recommend this song if you want to blast this in the car at peak volume, belting out the lyrics. the piano is soooooo good, very funky. cover art is 9/10, love whatever the fake falling thing is that is happening lol 😂 the ending is my favorite it’s so good omg 😆 and the back and forth between sky and sophie is so good!!! and when they sing together?? perfection!!

Lay all your love on me but it gets slower & deeper with each chorus - audio_edits

1 step forward, 3 steps back [clean] - Olivia Rodrigo

OMG YESSS!!! WHEN YOU TOLD ME, WEIRD CHARACTER 🤪, THAT YOU HAD NEVER HEARD OF OLIVIA RODRIGO, I JUST KNEW I HAD TO PUT ANOTHER SONG FROM HER IN HERE! okay so like at the beginning there are these birds and piano comes in and its just so pretty. the lyrics are amazing, i love this song. cover art is obviously 10/10 AND THE MUSIC CHANGES WHEN THE CHORUS COMES AND IT IS JUST BEAUTIFUL!!! this is actually the first song i listened to from SOUR and i absolutely loved it. i also recommend happier, enough for you, traitor, & favorite crime (i have the clean versions in my playlist so i would listen to those if you don’t want curse words lol 😂) AND THE ENDING IS SO SOFT AND BROKEN OMGGGG. RECOMMEND WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING THAT’S SAD BUT SOFT, WANTING TO BLAST IN CAR!!!

SPOOKY HALLOWEEN SONG, SPOOKY HALLOWEEN SONG, SPOOKY HALLOWEEN SONG!!! love this, amazing!! michael jackson is awesome, and this is such a good song that i even listen to it when it’s not halloween (tho i recommend listening to it when it’s actually halloween to amp up the spooky vibes) cover art is a solid 1000000/10, the eyes look so spooky as the moon, coming through the smoke?? perfection!! also there is a spoken word part at the end THAT REALLY MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN A HORROR MOVIE. RECOMMEND THIS SONG IF YOU WANNA FEEL LIKE YOU ARE THE MAIN CHARACTER IN A HORROR MOVIE, OMGGGGGG 😆 and it’s michael jackson, like?? who doesn’t like michael jackson??

if you think i am joking, i am not. this is actually on my playlist, yes. no i will not be removing it anytime soon. so obviously this got popular from TikTok, but its so good lol 😂 i sing and dance to this so much that my family and friends all know it by now. cover art is 15/10 if your just focusing on pablo cuz he’s my fav lmao 😂. this is actually a masterpiece and recommend it for time when you just want to listen to a silly song for a sec.

THIS SONG IS SO SAD, BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH AT THE SAME TIME!! ONCE AGAIN, CLOSED ON SUNDAY IS AMAZING, RECOMMEND IF YOU WANT MORE LOFT REMIXES OF STAR WARS MUSIC LIKE THIS ONE!! the beat is soo good in this one, the there’s like this really soft part in the middle with the piano and beat, it’s really nice. the ending is so quiet and slow omgggg. recommend if you want to listen to some remixed star wars music that on the quieter, sadder side. also cover art hurts my soul, so that should tell you how i rate it lol 😂

i absolutely love this song. the saxophone is so good in this. don’t play it myself, but gosh do i love it. also, the intro is long, really good. the beat is nice, drums and the piano is so complimenting. like i said in my last music sharing post, i love jazzy older tunes, and this is fits that so perfectly. and don’t even get me started on louis armstrong’s voice. its so nice and raspy, cool and calm over the music. omgggg 😌 the lyrics are so lovely. cover art is a solid 10/10, he looks so happy and i love how he’s smiling into the microphone, he’s just straight up vibing in this pic. ALSO THE SAX COMES BACK AT THE END SUPER POWERFUL AND AWESOME, IT’S GREAT!!! recommend this for when you are dancing with your lover in the middle of your living room at twilight.

this is in my playlist because of Unus Annus lol 😂 i also just like the song in general (without associating it with Unus Annus). it’s just one of those songs that you can listen to when you need a pick me up or an inspirational moment. i really like it, the guitar is very nice, acoustics sound so good. love the chorus and the ending! cover art is pretty cool, solid, and it actually represents each member of the band and how they are different from each other (which is so cool, can’t even tell you how cool that is), so 10/10, really like the filter on it too! this song feels like one that you listen to when you’ve overcome something in your life and you are super proud of yourself! recommend to blast in car during the summer with the windows down as the sun sets. also really like counting stars from them, recommend listening to that one too!

mkay, lover mxmtoon. i haven’t listen to any of her other songs, but this one is really good! i like the ukulele and snapping, very nice. her voice is so pretty, very nice with the song! i really like the lyrics and it also feels like a song you would have on a movie during the character’s like embarrassing moment at prom during the movie or something like that lol 😂 (like punch falls on them or something). i really like the cover art for this one, 9/10. the masks in the background are funky and cool! this is nicely paced, more on the faster side but still really good. recommend listening to this when you just want a chill song with some feels in the middle of the night while you stare up at your ceiling.

okay i ran out of music thingys again, but i’m gonna do one more lol 🤣

Get You The Moon - Kina

gosh, i love this song. the beats and the drums in the back?? yes. it’s sad, and i really like how it’s not paced too slow. Kina’s voice is very nice, I love how his voice clashes nicely with the music, very nice. as i said before, i like sad songs, and this hits the spot. the lyrics are really nice, and the cover art is very cool, solid 9/10. like the blurry thing happening. recommend listening to on a late night car drive.

WAIT HOLD ON I WAS GOING TO BE DONE, BUT ANOTHER ABBA SONG JUST CAME ON, SO I HAVE TO DO THAT ONE NOW!!!

Voulez-Vous - ABBA

YESSSS!!! THIS SONG IS SO AWESOME!! OMG THE BEATS, THE ELECTRIC GUITAR, THE KEYBOARD??? 100000000000/10!! LYRICS ARE SO GOOD! THE CHORUS IS REALLY GOOD!!! VERY GOOD TO DANCE TO, LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH OMGGG I CAN’T EVEN TELL YOU!!! THE LITTLE FRENCH LYRICS IN IT?? AWESOME, SO AWESOME!!! RECOMMEND WHEN YOU ARE THE MOOD TO DANCE AROUND TO SOME VERY UPBEAT 70’S MUSIC!!! THEY ALSO DO THESE “AHA’S” AT THE END, AND THEY ARE COOL TOO!!! JUST LOVE THIS SONG!!!

okay, i swear i’m done now, even though then next song coming on (cuz i accidentally skipped forward), is really good too lol maybe i’ll do another one, i really like doing these! i’m so glad you goonies liked the last one, and i hope you like this one too! once again, i hope you enjoy the songs and my very strange and all over the place music taste!

lots of spells (& music listening),

moony

[wroef]

what do you think was the reason for milton to run away? did he read the stories (he most likely did) and started believing in the curse and tried to run away from it like dawn? was he weirded out by the museum-like rooms and the shrines? or by the great-uncle hiding under the house? the house in general? i don't think it had something to do with his family because he seemed to be very close to dawn and he also got along well with lewis and edie (and edith probably too, but she was only four).

Ding dong I have a huge opinion on this. Mod Milton here to give you a lecture-  Milton showed no signs of being close with his mother, but take this:  His mother was close to him. You see what I’m saying, right? It’s not reciprocated. I know the type of mom Dawn is, I’ve lived with the type of mom she is. Overprotective. Being raised by an overprotective mom, I know how Milton feels. You put a bird in a cage, what’s he going to do? He’s going to want to fly out, right? He wasn’t scared of the curse, he was curious. He was fascinated by what these stories held and probably felt betrayed by his mother keeping all this from him and decided to leave. I mean, sure his mother raised him and cared for him, but I think she did that a bit too much, and when Milton found out about everything? That’s like having your favorite pillow snatched away from your head. You can’t sleep with that pillow anymore. That pillow you’ve had for years upon years. This is the pillow you’ve cried on, screamed into, and threw against the wall in your sleep (at least, I did); and now this pillow is suddenly gone. That loving security turned into betrayal, and he escaped the cage. This poor kid was never scared, he just wanted his freedom. Listen, Milton may have been young, but he was certainly not stupid.

Hi yes, this has been a Mod Milton PSA on why Lewis should never let me run the blog alone. Because my opinions are so blunt and straightforward, and I get worked up. 

-Mod Milton