#DON'T GET ME GOING DAMNIT
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I call character assassination on Striker
So I'm going to do like I usually do and just work with my favorite bits of Striker when I'm able to reignite my motivation to write his origin story
#anonymous_h#helluva boss#striker#i enjoyed the lastest episode tho#disappointed by Envy and Sloth's Reps#but heck that dragon Satan looked awesome#but also#i really love LovesArt23's take on Satan better and I have my own ideas lore wise#satan just making angels 2.0#because what little I remember about biblical lore is that Angel's are ment to serve God Himself#DON'T GET ME GOING DAMNIT
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CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS
there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head
I don't know why I decided to draw it this way
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#(these will be relevant in a moment)#this isn't going to happen. but WHAT IF.#anyway i didn't get him (damnit birdman come home) so i had to look up his story#and let me tell you friends my findings were SHOCKING#crowley canonically likes vegetables which means that the crowley is revaan theory = BUSTED#crowley is sailor venus = CONFIRMED#(i know 'whip of love' is a saying but that's where my mind always goes)#DISCLAIMER: this is (mostly) a joke please continue to hold whatever theories and headcanons you want#but look. c'mon. look over here at this whiteboard i've covered in red yarn.#revaan being a picky eater has come up multiple times and there is an entire whole bit about how much he hated jerky and refused to eat it#and now they've made a point of talking about how crowley will eat almost anything and loOoOoves wild game meat especially#it's SO stupid but i can't help but read way too much into it#(this is tumblr if you don't want to see incredibly stupid overanalysis of anime guys then why are you HERE)#and i gotta hold on to something because otherwise whenever malleus and crowley are onscreen together i just keep going 'same hair color...#unless this is like. some kind of deep cover thing.#lilia doesn't recognize him because he saw him eat a green bean once and revaan would NEVER#crowley's secret is safe for another day#(serious hat on: i do think they're probably connected in some way)#(but there's something deeper going on that we're just not clued into yet that will hopefully explain things)#man forget revaan what if crowley whips off his mask and it turns out he was meleanor this whole time#wait hold on meleanor loves jerky. IT ALL FITS...
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for the ask game (1)
au where bruce is attracted to his robins and batgirls. he tries not to think about it or act on it, but it's getting more difficult with every new member of his team he acquires. does anyone know? do the robins and batgirls notice his weird behavior? what do they do about it? do they ever find out the truth? who would think it's terrible and who would find it strangely hot/comforting/nice? does bruce ever act on his feelings?
for the ask game!
oh my GOD do i have thoughts for AUs like this, i love this shit so dearly, dirtybadwrong Bruce who's trying to keep a lid on it my beloved.
i think the fun of this AU is if characters would notice Bruce lusting for themselves vs would they notice Bruce lusting for a different Robin/Batgirl. like does Dick pick up on it when it's just him and Bruce? no, because it's just. him and Bruce. he and Bruce are weird and complicated and hold endless bounds of nuance. that's just How Bruce Is, and Dick is the "test run", in a sense. he knows Bruce is new to this whole sidekick/family thing and is giving Bruce grace for being rough around the edges. but when Bruce starts looking at Jason or Tim or Cass that way, that's when Dick starts to notice. it's never enough of a suspicion he feels justified to bring it up, but the thought lingers. he's hyperaware and grows less and less comfortable with leaving them alone with Bruce. it's a weird game of chicken, Dick and Bruce staring each other down when Bruce's touch lingers too long. each waiting for the other to say something first. if Bruce ever broke and actually acted on his feelings, Dick would be eaten alive by the guilt of knowing something was up, but never saying something until it was too late.
obviously, Cass would know. there's no world where Cass *doesn't* know, the nature of who and what she is would immediately clock it. but the issue is, Cass doesn't have a good framework of what family looks like. she doesn't really understand familial vs romantic love bc she has no firsthand experience of what a parent's love should even look like. so she never calls it out. she just watches. i'm a fan of Cass believing this is normal and believing she too can express and act on attraction that's vaguely incestuous. maybe it's with Babs, maybe it's with Dick or Tim or Bruce himself. but she recognizes this as Normal and Accepted within the Batfamily, so it severely fucks up her understanding of familial love and i just. man it's my favorite thing about Cass in Batcest honestly, is how you can play with her lack of experience with love, boundaries, and sexuality.
Tim is the fun one for me. because my favorite flavor of BruTim is when Tim knows, as he agrees to be Robin, that there's a non-zero chance that Bruce is going to be Weird and agrees anyway because he's decided it's an acceptable risk. so Tim knows from the get-go because he's expecting it. if Bruce acts on his attraction, i think it's either with Tim or Cass first, because they're the most likely to confront him about it in a way that isn't entirely negative. Tim has accepted it's a possibility and Cass just seeks being loved and touched so. it leads to the first time someone's ever confronted Bruce about it. and the thing is, Bruce really doesn't like confrontation about his flaws. the first time Tim tries to imply he's okay with it, Bruce would lash out at the idea, tell Tim how inappropriate that is and benches Tim for a week. it'd probably take a united front from Cass and Tim to get Bruce to even *admit* to the attraction. still Bruce wouldn't allow it to happen and he brushes them off until finally, the dam breaks. it's fun if there's a cause like sex pollen, but i think it's *more* fun if it's just. a random fucking Tuesday and finally Bruce is at his limit. he has no real reason, there's nothing particularly different about that day's routine. he just sees Tim or Cass striping armor and sighs and gives in.
i don't think Steph, Jason, or Babs would notice until anything substantial happened. not because they're not wicked smart, but just because none of them were looking for it. Jason put Bruce on a pedestal when he was alive, and when he came back from the dead he wasn't close enough to be noticing Bruce's interpersonal dynamics outside of his narrow scope. Steph has no real framework for what healthy fatherhood looks like, so if Bruce's touches linger, if he stares too long, she just shrugs and assumes it's how it is. and Babs was just never quite close enough to Bruce to notice. if and when she notices, is when actual sexual things start to happen between Cass and Bruce. because Cass would see no reason to hide it. Babs would be pissed, but it'd be tricky to navigate. Cass would be an adult, even if she's only 18/19, so technically, she's old enough to be consenting. if nothing else, Bruce is a careful man. even when he breaks and gives in to his desires, he covers his tracks well. he makes sure he has enthusiastic consent and there's no legal recourse that could be taken. age of consent and all that. there's not much Babs can *do* other than try to tell Cass (and/or Tim) that this isn't normal or okay. not that it gets her anywhere, but god would she try.
by the time Duke comes along (if we venture out of the pre-Flashpoint era) i think it's a sort of. open secret, in the Batfamily. talked about in nothing but hushed whispers and knowing glances. at some point, they've all had sex with Bruce, caving all for different reasons. some more than others. Tim sees it as a duty, Cass sees it as a way of seeking comfort, Steph sees it as getting Bruce's approval for once, etc. it's never forced on them, but eventually, they all come to Bruce sooner or later. and that's the fun irony of it, i think. they try to convince the others not to, but would go to Bruce on their own well. because complicated reasons they can't put into words. sometimes, Bruce is just a messy man who doesn't realize how prized his Attention to for the rest of the Batfamily. that weird duality of not liking him, but also wanting desperately for him to like you. all of them have dealt with it, at some point. so for Duke, it takes a while for him to understand this... whole dynamic. it's Cass who tries to explain it to him, and he's a little horrified, a lot confused. especially when Bruce starts staring at him a little too long as well. i think he'd only want to watch first but well. they all cave eventually.
also fun bonus if we venture into the Dark Knight Returns universe for my bestest girl Carrie Kelley: there's such a like, "i'm fucking around and i'm finding out" vibe to Carrie. like Tim, she's very proactive in just. deciding she's going to be Robin and she's ready for whatever that entails. (IMO canon Carrie is closer to fanon Tim than canon Tim is but *that* deserves its own post-) like she takes one look at the old man that is Batman and goes yup. he's never fucking getting rid of me now. if Bruce started having weird feelings about her, i think she'd have *fun* with it. she's decided she's in it for the long haul and for whatever being Robin means so. she's almost teasing about it, seeing how hard she can push before Bruce snaps. since it's an older, gruffer Bruce, i think he'd express open annoyance at it first, almost a sort of banter about how Carrie behave. but of course he caves and Carrie leans into it, because there's a fun in having all of Bruce's attention to herself. in the main timeline, Bruce is pretty split with so many Robins and Batgirls, but during their era, it's *just* her and him and she's very proud she's got him all to herself.
#bruce fucks/lusts after every batfam member and they all want to protect each other from him#but also they're all going to fuck him anyway bc they're hypocrite and self sacrificial.#necrotic answerings#ask game#brudick#brujay#brutim#brucass#brusteph#brubabs#bruduke#brucarrie#batcest#did i get all the ship names? god i hope so#listen i'm a pre-flashpoint girlie but know i believe there should be more duke in batcest spaces.#let him in on the fun. stop calling him the normal one. let him ALSO be toxic and gay damnit#though trying to figure out their ship name i cackling at the thought of it being bruke or duce. it's so fucking funny to me and idek why#also let carrie into batcest spaces damnit. there's so few bruce/carrie fics you're all uninspired /lh#anyway yeah i'm obsessed with the vibes of#does anyone like bruce? no but his attention. his approval. the things most of the batkids would do for it#i think you could do bruce/helena b with these vibes too#but ngl i got do mad at the batman: brave & the bold show for doing helena dirty by just making her hot for bruce#that i mentally tune that ship out#it's good. it has good potential for daddy issues.#but it just reminds me of how fucking *ass* helena is in that show. they fucked up my bbygirl.#idk why ppl like b:tb&tb so much. i don't think it's good??#is it nostalgia or something? like there's so many other better batman animated shows that can like. write women. idk that's just me#anyway love this concept so dearly <3#bruce who is so fucking bad at love he can't separate familial and romantic love my beloved <3#bruce wayne having *boundaries*? absolutely not in my good catholic batcest home.
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tired. i've been nothing but tired anxious frustrated. and tired! did i mention tired?
#meins#circumstances of my practical journeyman exam have changed quite a bit. location. time. conditions to an extent#i am dealing with it. we are finding solutions#we can adapt.#but i do not feel chill about it at all.#also eff my teacher#i feel so fucking unprepared for life post finishing apprenticeship#so many lessons that we missed bc she is incapable of proper planning and utterly overwhelmed with her responsibilities#i feel like so much of my time is wasted#at this point we are begging for some actual lessons#we do nothing but complain about it amongst us apprentices. it's so exhausting. everyone is stressed and frustrated#maybe that's why i am so tired#i finished my first sample suit in time. i worked hard. and what does it get me?#nothing! bc my teacher can't plan for shit and is with one foot in a burn out if not both#i feel for her but god fucking damnit this is our apprenticeship this is our journeyman exam#i want to do my very best and i don't feel like i am given the chance to do so#okay enough renting. i need to go do the dishes and distract myself
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Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Elide Lochan#Finnula#no spoilers pls first read along w me chapter spoilers in post & tags below w more annotations/quotes/notes/reacts/perspective 3 of 4#The City of Rivers��� can Aelin get a City of Fire? cuz that would be cool & Elide already said “fear was another companion it can’t be worse#IT WAS LORCANS SHIRT😭 & he cared so much he lied so she’d use it from Gavriel/Rowan😭 OH ELORCAN😭😭😭#Yet this place seemed like a paradise. WHATS REAL? is it a Maeve illusion… but it sounds lovely; like Rowan could just fly around😭#Pink and blue flowers draped from windowsills; little canals wended between some of the streets ferrying people in bright long boats.#And though a good dose of fear would aid in her cover too much would spell her doom. -smart clever spy gal Annabeth Chase would be proud#And this city Rowan had told Elide had been built from stone to keep Brannon or any of his descendants from razing it to the ground.#when u know ur evil cuz you had to build in a backup plan for the day Brannons peeps eventually come to shut that shit down… my poor Aelin#Elide fought the limp that grew with each step farther into the city--farther away from Gavriel's magic… or Lorcan’s👀😭🖤🤨#okay Elide I see your mirror mirror Aos moves with the berry listen and compact trick she can do it with a broken heart#cycle. She hadn't been able to find the words anyway. Not with what it would crumple in her chest to even think them. WELL NOW IM CRUMPLED#As if she'd been weeping for weeks… yeah that fits the KoA vibes#But it wasn't the reflection she wanted to see. But rather the square behind her. — BRILLIANT QUEEN — lol thx Lorcan for having a mirror#if only anything could be a witch mirror then they could all cell chat and communicate cause the travel time in this one is rough#she was merely staring into a compact mirror no more than a self-conscious girl trying to fix her frazzled appearance — she is the best spy#A girl trying to muster some dignity. Let them see what they wanted to see-A girl far out of her element in this lovely well-dressed city#cornflower blue ALWAYS THESE SHADES#her golden-brown skin shone with an inner light. Her eyes were soft with kindness. And concern.#had always made them foolishly off guard and eager to get away. To tell her what she needed to know. — funny 2 watch Elide do this after HoF#The sort of voice Elide had always imagined great beauties possessing the sort of voice that made men fall all over themselves.#Cairn. One of the males swore; the other scanned Elide from head to toe. But the two females had gone still. — agreed he’s the worst#the portrait of hope—yeah child’s right cause no—Elide always naming people—If you escaped Cairn don't go looking for him again.—true#Cairn is blood-sworn to our queen. Still makes him a prick TRUTH — doesn’t need to be a far to catch the lie — WHERE IS SHE DAMNIT#She was about to do it again wheen… The dark-haired beauty from the tavern was standing behind her. — SHIT#Maeve was not in Doranelle. How long would that remain true? Had to make the next performance count. — how many had she done this already?🥹😭
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#vent#putting this here on main where less ppl involved will see bcs i just don't want that attention#(dots to hidr if ppl don't want to see this)#...........................................................................................................................................#.............................#..............#just stop. please im begging everyone to just stop. im begging everyone to just stop.#i get im not at all part if the people that ate effected by this im not at all but god please this is such a big game of#bad telephone and lack of one on one communication that didn't need to be made public#please i dont want to be unfollowing so many people please#are we going to enter an era of be careful whos posts you like or reblog bcs its part of 'the erong side'?#its selfish of me i know its so fucking selfish of me to be begging for this to stop but please#please the person has made an apology. the frustrations of everyone has been made and heard#im just begging everyone please just please don't make this something thats going to haunt this#fandom and community for weeks or months or forever#please goddamit please i enjoy so many people that have been just a part of this or been rebloging things about this and#i get it i get that this is upsetting that shit didn't go how anyone wanted but please i dont want go unfollow some of you#why is everything going to shit#why is everything falling apart#its so selfish of me to be this upset about this. its so messy on both sides everything about thos is so messy but god damnit why WHY#are we making this something so big#its selfish of me to say but please god please i come here to escape. i come here to have fun. im in these discords to have fun.#i have so much fun here and now everyone is just angry#i just wanted to reblog some cute art that came on my dash. i just wanted to eish someone well after seeing they needed space#i don't want to be so on edge about who i “should and shouldn't” interact with#everything went to shit for me. yhen it got better. then back to shit. and finally it was getting better and now its all went to shit again#but this time its everyone everywhere and in escapable#the only awnser is to just log on. disappear for s while. but god i just vame bsck i JUST came back and god i just want yhis all to stop.
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so am i right or am i right in my assertion that bridgerton doesn't actually do character work, it just rebrands it's main characters before their season begins and tries to recontextualize them as poor little meow meows.
#olive rambles#watched the first half of season 3#was thinking to myself: huh. pen isn't that bad.#and then decided to rewatch some season 2 scenes to recontextualize who the characters are. y'know. so i can be an intelligent viewer#and all that jazz.#and damn you bridgerton i fell for your trap for a second there.#SHE'S NOT !!!!!!! THE SAME !!!!!!!! CHARACTER !!!!!!!!!#this isn't just about framing a narrative differently season 2 pen and season 3 pen are different girlies entirely#WHERE IS THE WRATH#i *want* a vengeful penelope featherington damnit#even if i don't like her as a person i could respect her as a character#and yet#they just make her a soft sadgirl#which also feels very cheap because women can be angry and messy and vengeful and still find love#honestly get polin out of here and get penelope angry again#i want to see BLOOD or season 2 is cheapened in retrospect#look me in the eye and tell me i'm wrong#you can't#i am the god of this chilis and i have spoken#i think over the summer i'm going to watch all of bridgerton over again so i can make a corkboard of theories#and be intelligent in my hate#PENELOPE WAS ANGRY AND LOUD ABOUT IT IN SEASON 2 AND SOMEHOW SHE IS NOW JUST SAD AND RUMINATING IN SEASON 3#BITCH WHEN AND WHERE DID THIS CHANGE TAKE PLACE AND WHY#AND ALSO FOR WHAT ANGRY ACTIONABLE CHARACTERS ARE DYNAMIC AND HARD TO PREDICT AND MAKE FOR GOOD CINEMA#SAD CHARACTERS THAT SIT AND THINK ABOUT THINGS ARE OKAY TOO BUT THEY ARE NOT !!!!! THE SAME !!!!! AS THE FORMER ARCHETYPE#AND THEY SHOULDN'T BE!!!!!!!!
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#anyway thinking about how my main inky and my rook are like. reverses of each other. like inky. born in an alienage. has very little memory#of it thanks to The Circumstances. got taken in by a dalish clan after all that shit and like. sees it as simultaneously a point of#pride and something that makes him worry about whether or not he's. you know. Enough. like he wants to belong and he mostly does but#damnit he does remember how they looked at him and Rella that first day and it's hard for him to not wonder in the back of his mind#if they still see him like that. and like he's got his whole Thing about that and it does make me think about how Sera would be A Lot to him#but then. my rook having basically the opposite thing going. the only memory of his clan being a vague image of his mother's face#to the point of him not even always being sure it was real (but what's the point of dwelling on that. right?) and him just deciding that#'well it's too late to think about that now' and how my Rook's whole personality for a while is just 'i don't know what's going on but#i want to help but i just end up hurting people or failing to avery disasters' while my inky is just 'i pretty much get what's#happening here and i want to kill everyone but APPARENTLY i have to be NICE now 🙄'#just rambling and thinking about how inquisition might turn out to be the end of his villain era#not that he doesn't kind of deserve a villain era but like. bro it's not helping#original posts
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I really wish blocking someone meant their stuff wouldn’t wind up on your dash at all. Like I understand why it doesn’t, but. still.
Actually, I just need to get better abt checking source urls before I reblog. I try to be mindful, but now and again I Forget and have only myself to blame lmao
#text post#I would love to reblog their art and be supportive in that way at least but tbh#every time I accidentally reblog it I remember checking out their blog and seeing how they talked abt fans that like Izzy and the izcourse#and it's like oh no that's right you hate ppl like me and ur art might be gorg but maybe we just shouldn't interact#they do their thing and I'll be over here doing mine#what really needs to happen is I need to remember to check urls on fandom art to make sure it isn't any of the folks I had to block lmao#but sometimes I get excited bc the art is genuinely lovely and i do like it and think the person is v talented!#and then i forget to check and it's only after scrolling my dash that i see my reblog and the url and go 'oh. fuck. that's right. damnit.'#it's a weird feeling to be like yes I want this person to have fun and make gorgeous art but also it seems#they've made it p clear how they feel abt folks like me and so maybe they would prefer i just fuck off#which i tried to do by blocking!! and yet. here we are#i delete the reblogs whenever this happens so they don't have me in their notes but#i do hope they know their art is lovely and I appreciate their hard work even if we wouldn't otherwise get along with each other#idek why I'm blogging abt this I guess bc I feel like usually it's either or online? like u either hate each other or u don't#but I don't hate the folks who sent shit to me or the folks who condoned it i just wish i had found a way to get along with them instead#as useless a wish as that probably is#and i don't talk abt it a lot but it really bugs the fuck outta me sometimes that we can't just start over and try to interact generally#no messages no trying to be friends just reblog from them if u like and otherwise ignore each other#which has been a thing that's worked fairly okay in other fandoms tho things have happened in others to change how workable it was#but for some reason in this one i feel like im just always walking on eggshells to interact w/anyone bc it feels like everyone is waiting#for someone else to say something they vaguely disagree with and instead of just like. blocking and moving on w/the fandom experience#it turns into a massive mess that even if ur on the fringes of it all you still get pulled into or sent shit and just.#idk it doesn't matter bc ultimately none of this does but dang it the show has been special to me and hits all my special interests#and it's hard to let go and accept that there's no changing how things went and how they are and how this fandom experience for me is often#very fucking lonely even when i'm bursting at the seams to share and to hear from others what they think abt anything and everything w/it#no one is gonna read this tag essay lmao pls scroll on
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Anyway I love sitelen pona it's so fucking cute but I wish it wasn't like that
#1. suno is SO inconvenient to write#2. lipu nimi and palisa all being rectangles of different dimensions is miserable#3. PONA AND LUPA????#It's not bad as writing systems go Latin script has its charms /s and in terms of pictographs hanzi also has similar radicals#BUT ALSO LIKE DAMNIT IN BOTH OF THOSE CASES CONTEXT DOES WORK IN THE WORD#4. Don't get me STARTED on kon
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(breathing into a paper bag) FRALIO....
can't believe they gave us another guy. oh my god. so I guess Kelka is more, uhhh, more OOO then, and Fralio is Ankh? not that it matters too much, although they do seem to be doing something with the connected Riders so. who knows. anything goes! or if I may, anything gOOOes! god. of course they're the Ambition parallel. of course they are. oh my god.
fortunately there's nothing else they can throw at me right now that could possibly --
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#OKAY i am caught up through show my cards so i feel more confident about going into main story part 2#unless there's some absolutely wacky lore thrown into the fun rollerblades event WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT#extra excited for these guys now! can't wait to meet them properly :D#gosh though i am so afraid for jou in part 2#he's grown on me so much and i can't help but think getting backstory so soon is an ominous sign#especially for a wisdom guy i mean COME ON#i'm getting kiriya vibes and i don't like where this is heading#on the one hand if they legit kill off a character in their joseimuke gacha game...i mean. respect.#but also i want jou to be okay :(#i want everyone to be okay except maybe taiten because what is even going on with him#me yesterday: oh i don't think he's straight-up evil :) now let me just finish up the space event...#taiten: let's talk about plan DOMINATE PLANET#damnit taiten#tangentially i do think it would be EXTREMELY funny if the whole soun thing was a fakeout and murakumo was just some other dude entirely#soun's soft spot for uryuu and dislike for taiten is entirely coincidental#(probably based around the fact that taiten is INCREDIBLY evil) (or is he) (i mean yes)#he's multilayered he doesn't need a narrative reason to have opinions about other characters what are you his MOM
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damn it bro can I feel lovable for one second
#➳ valentin vents#<- I'M FINE . JUST . IF SOMEBUN DOESN'T WANNA SEE ME COMPLAINT I GUESS .#but god damnit everybun has somebun else they put above me#nawt only does it TORTURE my need to be perfect and adored but it also makes me feel highly unlovable and eurgh#especially when i see others as equal or above me only to feel as though i don't matter in the slightest actually#but again It Is Fine i sorta get a day off of school tmrw isn't that fun I'll get to sleep in some and everything is fine . mhm . yeah .#but also . insert that nobody likes me guess I'll go eat worms song . heart hands . if uu need me I'll be in my backyard /silly
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why the fuck does the desktop site look like twitter i'm actually going to lose my god damn mind.
#if i wanted twitter i would go to twitter#the search is on the right and it's WRONG.#why is there so much shit on the left.#i hate this more than words can decsribe#if i don't find a chrome extension to change this back i'm actually genuinely debating deactivating most of my blogs over this#man#this is the worst#this used to be my favorite social media genuinely.#i'm about to start using guilded as if it's a fucking blogging site at this rate#am i overreacting?#maybe idk#probably not#i opened tumblr and almost immediately closed it upon seeing my dash because of this#jesus fucking christ#new dashboard#i hate this#complaining#rant#please complain with me here#i didn't even really get the tumblr experience i wanted i feel like i was too little too late god damnit#my ecosystem#frowns#:(
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Knowing Bailey would be a Paladin but not liking any of the existing Oaths for her is extremely frustrating
Gavin, on the other hand, fits very easily into the role of a Warlock with a Fiend for a patron
#Oath of the Ancients fits as something she'd strive towards but it's much more fairy-and-fey themed than i'd like#Oath of Glory could work but it feels a little self-serving and -- unlike Valaria my OTHER Sadgirl Knight#-- Bales doesn't have the Backstory Stuff to make it make sense#Oath of the Crown COULD work for Story Reasons but CAN'T work because the way this is written that's just Fantasy Cops and ew no gross#i mean i GUESS i could go Oath of Devotion but like. Mngh.#anyway Gavin would either be some kind of elf or a longtooth shifter and Bailey would be an aasimar and just. deeply in denial about that.#''NO I'M A NORMAL HUMAN MY FRECKLES ARE NORMAL FUCK OFF'' ''your eyes glow when you get pissed off'' ''SHUT UP DAMNIT NO THEY DON'T''#thinking about them bc they are a Paired Unit Do Not Separate and Edgin and Holga kind of reminded me of them in some ways
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#it's crazy to me that one little thing can set me off for as long as it does sometimes#like i had one customer call my sir like 10 fucking times and it's got me so damn mad#and like at this point it was 2 hours ago and like#it shouldn't bother me as much as it does#and the anger almost always turns to a pit of despair and shit#i feel so fucking silly getting so worked up over something like this too#cause like. 95% of the time i can just brush it off and move on ezpz#but when I'm in this fucking state it takes over my mind and my thoughts#and damnit I was in such a good mood too !!#UGH#at least at this point i have my temper under control enough that i won't snap at anyone#except maybe my ex#but that's only if that say some stupid shit to me#at least I have my date w my friend on Tuesday to look forward to#but she might be coming over again and i Don't want what happened last time to happen again#stress is such bullshit#plus the mania rn is a Rough one#it's my first mania w no weed to bring me back down to earth#i guess at least it's happening now instead of my first being during the holiday season#cause that's going to be Hard#so i can figure out a better way to cope w this stupid bullshit before I'm in a deep pit
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why would u even care if I was fucking talking about you at least I minded my own fucking business and tried to move on with ny live
#erm#weekly vent post </3#no but genuinely I'm getting sick just at this thought#may or may not be vomiting#/srs 😐#I try not to be hateful#I want to be a better person#I want to grow#and I've been trying#but srsly wtaf#I knew I should've just killed my self back in February oh my god#schools just a few days away and I don't wanna make my friends sad#we've been wating doreever to see each other#I can't stop crying#I have a crippling sh addiction and I feel like no one can help me#I'm not supposed to feel this way#in supposed go be happy im supposed to be better#I'm supposed to be better than this.#but then the slightest trigger comes around and it all fucking crashes#it's tiring#I don't even have the energy to talk to anyone anymore#but I don't wanna even get better anymore#because it's not ever gonna be worth it#damnit you know who you are if you see this you're actually a major piece of shit and I hate you so much#I can't believe I even feel sympathy for you#you don't deserve my pity#okay rant over
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